#they were lashing out

[treeshroudrelic]

Issue 44 inspired rant

Reading IDW Sonic after hearing about all the discourse about Sonic not killing his enemies is interesting cause it made it seem that Sonic made those decisions alone while ignoring everyone else and that he's annoyingly preachy about it but all of them so far are collective decisions he discusses with his friends.

Like in the above mentioned issue the decision to send the Deadly Six back to Lost Hex was one everyone agreed on, and it was the correct choice. It's the villains fault for not heeding the heroes' mercy and turning a new leaf, they aren't amorphous forces of nature, they're people with the agency to make bad choices.

Plus Sonic clearly struggles with his decisions and the unforeseen consequences of his mercy. I really liked the bit where he almost infects Eggman with the metal virus out of spite because it showed how fallible he can be with his code.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[brown-little-robin]

PARALLEL!! In S1E8 of mp100, Reigen reveals the delightfully baffling ethic he works by. When a woman tells him that a fortuneteller told her that there was a spirit on her shoulders, Reigen instantly disapproves of someone telling her that and doing nothing about it. And of course he considers himself so much better than this fortuneteller for... also lying to the woman, but giving her a massage. So he's allowed to lie to people, but he draws the line at not helping them. That... that's perfect. That's what he does with Mob, after all. He lies to Mob constantly about being a psychic, but he considers it fine because he's helping Mob by doing so. The woman had real pain in her shoulders; Mob has real pain in his heart. Reigen helps with both by allowing them to think he's a psychic.

Shortly after that, in S1E10, Dimple makes this remark while possessing a security guard:

IT'S THE EXACT SAME ETHICS. (okay, it's slightly worse because it's just harm reduction rather than actively helping, but Dimple is on the right track, okay?) Dimple's allowed to possess people, to steal their bodies (temporarily), but he's not allowed to let them get hurt. Letting the body he possesses be damaged is a step too far. Reigen's allowed to lie, but heaven help people who lie to others without helping them.

Just. Yeah. Dimple and Reigen both use people. Reigen lies to them, Dimple possesses them. Reigen twists the mind, Dimple twists the body. And yet they're both disgusted and offended by people who would use people without care for their welfare. They're better than that. They're not irresponsible.

edit: alt text for images 1 and 2 provided by @princess-of-purple-prose! thanks!

[tanadrin]

What response would you recommend to people attacking shipping? For that matter, what response would you recommend to Hamas doing that thing they did last October, which everyone has decided didn't happen and wouldn't matter if it did? I don't think the current response is good, but the alternative being offered is literally "roll over and die."

We are so far past a reasonable response to what Hamas did in October that “well what would you have done?” feels like a question that’s in extraordinarily bad faith, whether or not you mean it that way. A policy genuinely aimed at preventing massacres like the one in October starts with not illegally occupying territory, stalling a peace process indefinitely, and persistently dehumanizing and abusing a large civilian population—by the time we’re asking “how do you respond to a group like Hamas attacking civilians” we are already in the realm of abject policy failures, because a group like Hamas only exists because of Israeli policies. An honest response would be something like “fundamentally reassess our approach to Palestine.”

But if Israel has the kind of politics, and Netanyahu was the kind of leader, capable of doing that, it’s hard to imagine things getting this bad in the first place. This is one reason it’s important to put pressure on governments like the UK and US to criticize Israel’s actions, because the push for restraint is not going to come from within Israeli politics.

[welcometogrouchland]

I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)

[againstthegrainphoto]

These photos were taken in like a 20 second span……and I’m fairly certain that sometimes Lars is the only thing between Dunner and the sin bin.

[hairydykecunt]

meeeee

[anglerflsh]

guy who is handling his first time experiencing being Mad so terribly

[inkling0121]

"We need more angry women instead of soft victims of abuse" yall cant handle Lapis from Steven Universe

[hojichasunrise]

Katara playfully splashes water at Aang, who responded by sulking in a brooding cave and then exploding lava in her face and storming off without any apology. From The Lost Adventures.

Golly gee why don't I want to ship such a wholesome wonderful healthy ship like this? Gee whiz, it's great Katara didn't end with Zuko, otherwise she might get lava thrown at her in an argument from an immature, emotionally unavailable, abusive jerk! /s Oh, right, Aang is the one who did that.

Aang has always been the one to hurt Katara. Funny Zuko hasn't. Remind me again who scarred Katara's hands, who blew up into the avatar state leaving Katara to pull him out lest he destroy her, her brother, and everything around him? Who stormed off right before the finale without communication leaving his friends to die in the invasion? Was it Zuko who did those things? Was it?

Such a wholesome ship!

[afilins]

"the reason till didn't reciprocate ivans feelings was because ivan was violent-" shut up shut up shut up shut up shut uuuuuupp shut up shut up shut up

[spacecasehobbit]

Oliver's last conversations with each of Farleigh, Felix, and Venetia are so consistently fascinating to me. Each of Farleigh and Venetia think that they are calling Oliver out, forcing him to face the harsh truths of his own insignificance, while Oliver stands passively by and lets them reveal their own hypocrisy before revealing the true fragility of their positions, the power that he has over their lives.

Farleigh towers over Oliver, belittling him against the backdrop of this party that is supposedly for Oliver and is full of people whose regard for Oliver spans from indifference to outright hostility. Yet while he thinks that he's giving Oliver his victory speech, gloating over the fact that it is Farleigh, not Oliver, who will stay at Saltburn after this summer, he's also admitting to the tenuous nature of his own position there. "I was invited," he tells Oliver, when Oliver questions his presence at the party, along with, "I'll always come back," and, "This is my house."

The contradiction that Farleigh doesn't even realize he's admitted to, however, is that people don't have to be invited back to their house. He's always been as much a guest as Oliver, but he's the one who can't face the possibility of getting kicked out for good. Thus, Farleigh is the one who is really clinging to hope instead of action, the one who will never be fighting quite as hard as Oliver to ensure that possibility doesn't come true.

Farleigh gloats over Oliver's loss and takes Oliver's silence as proof that he is right. When really, Oliver doesn't gloat or bluster or protest. Oliver listens to what people tell him, and then Oliver acts.

It's the same thing we see in Oliver's confrontation with Venetia in the bathtub after Felix's funeral.

Venetia is clearly devestated by her brother's loss, and she is looking for someone to lash out at. And what a convenient, easy target Oliver seems to make. So polite, so soft-spoken, so awkward and innocent and small.

A harmless moth, batting up against the windows. At the same time, a parasite, consuming what wasn't his to take. Eating holes in her family - her family who would have greedily consumed every last drop of the sad, pitiful life he fed them for their own amusement, before casting him aside like a moth-eaten sweater abandoned in the back of a closet.

She calls him out, too, for wearing Felix's aftershave (but not the fact that he's wearing Felix's bathrobe, interestingly enough), while she's the one sprawled in Felix's bathtub. "I bet you're even wearing his underwear," she tells him scornfully, and he kisses her to prove that she'll still kiss him back, that for all her mocking words she's just as desperate as he is to cling to any scraps of Felix left behind. That for all her words to the contrary, he is a scrap of Felix left behind.

And then the harmless moth puts holes in her wrists, puts her in a hole in the ground, and walks away.

In contrast, the confrontations with Farleigh and Venetia make Oliver's confrontation with Felix in the maze all the more devastating in a different way.

With Felix, Oliver isn't quiet. He isn't timid or passive or small, and he is trying desperately not to listen when it's Felix telling him to go away, to stop, to give up, with nothing else he can latch onto for hope of a different outcome. With Felix, Oliver shouts, he protests, he snarls. He loses control of his voice and his body, even pins Felix up against the minotaur statue while he begs Felix to listen to him because he doesn't know what else to do; all he has are these words that he desperately wants to be true, that Felix doesn't want to hear.

It's Felix who is forced into silence while Oliver talks, and it is Felix who finally sees the truth that Oliver can't bear to face in himself.

It's Felix who tells Oliver, "You make my fucking blood run cold."

And he's the only one who gets it right.

[bugbuoyx]

Other trans people are not your enemy.

This goes for both trans women & fems and trans men & mascs. There are popular trans women twitter accounts telling young trans women that trans men do not care about them and simultaneously denying trans men face any transphobia, there are popular trans men on tumblr telling young trans men that trans women do not care about our oppression, pointing to the lack of talk about murdered trans men as proof.

And some of these points are fair, we should listen to each other more about our struggles. But you are making that difficult. Do you think a trans woman wants to listen to someone who accuses all trans women of hating trans men and not caring about our struggles? Do you think trans men want to listen to someone who says tells people that trans men are future terfs and will never care about trans womens struggles?

Are we not all just sides of the same dice? Are we not all facing oppression from transphobes? Terfs write books about how trans men are mutilating themselves and articles about predatory trans women in bathrooms, republicans fund legislation targeting trans surgeries and hormones, which affects all of us.

And even if we did not face the same struggles, why are we divided? Again, are we not all the same, simply trying to be ourselves in our own bodies? We can each talk about our own struggles, the difficulties we face and the joys we experience without the opposite being true of the other, infact more often than not it's extremely similar and I think we'd benefit from listening to each other more.

[monkiekidtwt]

still ignoring the racism in the fandom okay i see you!!!!

Okay, let’s talk about the racism that went down regarding Erlang fans. For example, a minor was accused of sexualizing their own religion, and people who hate Erlang called him (a literal deity) “unseasoned chicken”. People mocking and harassing children who grew up with that religion for being attached to their deities, and-

… Oh wait, you just want me to talk about it when it specifically makes the people on the side of Erlang fans look bad? Because you don’t really give a fuck about racism OR the misogyny you used as an excuse to harass them (harassment you were doing BEFORE anyone was racist, by the way, so you can’t use that as a “but the other side is just as bad!” argument)? And you only PRETEND to give a fuck about marginalized groups when it’s out of spite, or when you can use it to excuse yourself of horrid actions?? Okay I see you!!!

Now take SEVERAL. Seats.

[rustedleopard]

So you guys remember how after Hinawa was announced as dead, Flint was immediately tossed into jail after he (very understandably) lashes out in his grief. And then by the time he breaks out of jail (not released by a fellow Tazmillian, breaks out with a nail file), the service is already over and she's buried six feet under the dirt with no proper goodbye from her husband or even a glimpse at her or anything???

That was fucked up

[found--family]

am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen?