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rollercoasterwords · 2 years

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why aren't lesbians more popular in fanfiction?

hello literally no one asked for this but i feel like i’ve seen a lot of discussion about the disparity between mlm and wlw fanfiction, and i simply. have thoughts about it lol. this is mostly focused on marauders fanfic bc that’s really the only fanfic community i’m plugged into, but i feel like it probably applies to others as well -- this is definitely gonna get long so if u don’t feel like reading a lil essay abt it then just scroll past :)

anyway! i do think the prevalence of gay ships in fanfic is a particularly interesting conundrum given that the vast majority of people who read + write fanfiction are women -- and, particularly in the marauders fandom, i’d guess that the majority of those women are queer. so i guess the question i find interesting can be boiled down to: why do so many gay women gravitate towards stories about gay men?

generally, i tend to see a mixture of three answers in conversations about this question.

1. there’s more canon info about male characters

essentially, i see a lot of people say something along the lines of, “well, it makes sense that there’s more fanfiction written about men, because in the stories these characters are originally from the male characters are main characters/much more developed than female characters.” and i think this answer makes sense, but i don’t necessarily think it’s a sufficient explanation on its own for two reasons:

fanfiction can branch quite drastically away from canon, and there are plenty of popular fics where canon is completely disregarded. even if writers have very little canon information about a character, that doesn’t necessarily mean the character won’t be loved in fandom spaces. which leads to the second reason...

in the marauders fandom specifically, male characters with almost no canon information have become very popular. i feel like i’ve especially seen this more recently with characters like barty crouch jr. and evan rosier, but even some of the bigger marauders characters -- peter, regulus, etc -- have very little information about their actual characters in canon. additionally, there are characters like lily evans, narcissa malfoy, andromeda tonks, etc, who, if we’re going based on the amount of canon information, seem like they should be more popular.

however, none of this is to say that certain characters should be more or less popular--this is just to point out that i don’t think “there’s more canon information” is a sufficient explanation on its own for why mlm fics are so much more popular than wlw fics. i certainly think it accounts for some of the disparity, but i also think there’s more going on!

2. “fetishization” of gay men

i’ve also seen a lot of people throw out the answer that “it’s because women are fetishizing gay men,” and i...just don’t really think this is the issue that some people say it is. honestly, i think that in most of the cases where i’ve seen people saying this, the term fetishization is being misused. in the marauders fandom, at least, i’d argue that the vast majority of fanfiction is not fetishizing gay men, in that it isn’t reducing gay men to sex objects--in fact, i think that oftentimes the opposite is true. even in heavily explicit fanfiction, the characters are often built out as well-rounded people, and there’s almost always an equal emphasis on the relationship and emotional dynamic between the two characters being shipped together.

i think when people talk about the fetishization of mlm couples, a lot of times the person they’re arguing about is this imaginary cishet woman who’s like foaming at the mouth to read about gay men fucking each other while simultaneously not really viewing gay men as real, complex people--and sure, maybe there are some women like that. but something that i think this straightforward answer of “fetishization” misses is that there is fanfiction catered specifically to straight women, and it often looks very different from queer fanfic. like, i can almost always tell when i’m reading fanfic whether it was written by a straight woman or not, because heterosexual desire and queer desire manifest in very different ways. and my impression is that the majority of queer fanfic is catered towards other queer people--even if straight women read it, too, i don’t really think they’re the main audience. i haven’t tried to research statistics on this or anything; it’s all just based on my impression of this one specific fandom space, and i’m not trying to claim otherwise. but in the marauders fandom, at least, it seems as though the majority of the readers are queer women; in fact, many writers, like myself, are actually lesbians who literally hold zero attraction to men. so why do we still love reading and writing about gay relationships?

3. *vague hand-waving* misogyny

once we get past these first two explanations, i typically see people saying something along the lines of, “well, of course mlm fics are more popular than wlw fics, because of misogyny!” and then just...leaving it at that. and it sort of drives me a little insane, because i’m always like, yes, but WHY??? that’s like someone asking why the sky is blue, and answering, “well, because of science.” like--okay, yes, but WHAT science? why?? what’s actually happening??

so, if you’ve made it this far into my little esay, here are some thoughts that have been marinating in my brain about some specific ways in which misogyny effects the popularity of gay vs lesbian fanfiction (and, in some ways, gay vs lesbian media more generally). essentially, there are two big things that it boils down to, in my mind:

the inherent alientation of womanhood

the universality of queer desire

and those two things kinda play off each other, but i’m gonnna take them one by one!

1. womanhood as a process of alienation

so, this is something that i’ve been turning over in my mind over the past few months. generally, i try to avoid broad generalizations about women/womanhood, because i think of gender much more as a socialized series of performances rather than any kind of fixed identity category, however! that being said, i do think that womanhood is, in many ways and for a majority of people, a gradual and unrelenting process of alienation from one’s own body, sexuality, and desires.

what i mean by that is that in a patriarchal society, becoming a woman means being taught constantly and consistently that you are meant to center men in your life (which is one reason that so many lesbians have such a complicated relationship to gender--because removing men from the equation essentially knocks out one of the pillars propping up “woman” as a gender category). teaching someone to be a woman means teaching them to ignore and suppress their own sexuality, physicality, and desires in favor of men’s. i think many people raised to be women learn to think of their own sexuality as an object of male desire; we are told that we should want to be wanted, but not that we should want. learning to be a woman oftentimes means learning to separate yourself from your own desires--women aren’t supposed to be hungry, or messy, or loud, or ugly, or ambitious, or sexual.

obviously, everyone raised in a misogynistic society internalizes that misogyny; so i think that for most people taught to be women, there’s this shared experience of alienation from your own body. we are systematically and purposely cut off from lesbian desire, from sapphic desire--from any kind of desire or sexuality where men are not a focal point. this makes it understandably difficult to envision rich, complex, sexual and romantic relationships between women, because anyone taught to be a woman has to spend a significant amount of time unlearning internalized misogyny in order to truly embrace queer desire.

so, yes; i think that mlm fics and gay ships are more popular at least in part because of misogyny. but i don’t think it’s this conscious, purposeful thing that queer women should be condemned for--in many ways, i think that gay fanfiction actually provides queer women (especially young queer women) a space to explore queer relationships and queer desire outside of the patriarchy that hangs like a specter over any relationship involving women. for queer women who are still working through internalized misogyny, who still struggle to envision romantic and sexual relationships between women that exist outside the bounds of patriarchal narratives, i think it’s understandable that gay relationships in fanfiction have become this sort of refuge. we are taught to center male desire and sexuality; we experience queer desire that we must learn to stop suppressing; when we look at these two ideas together, i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that the exploration of gay relationships in fanfiction is oftentimes a way for queer women to explore their own sapphic desire.

2. the universality of queer desire

this first point leads me directly into my second, which is that gay fanfiction can oftentimes provide a space to explore lesbian desire specifically because queer desire has a unique sort of universality--it is outside the boundaries of cishet norms and narratives, which often leads to different expressions of desire and different relationship dynamics. for example, as a lesbian, i feel that my lesbian relationships generally have much more in common with gay relationships than they do with straight women, simply because the dynamics of typical heterosexual relationships are so far removed from my own experiences with sex, romance, and dating.

something that strikes me is that, in many instances, these fanfictions about gay men read to me, a lesbian, as lesbian romances--i find myself reading about these characters and thinking that the way they relate to one another, the way they process emotion, etc, feels very much like a lesbian relationship. i think part of that is because many of them are written by queer women, but it’s also because of this overarching universality of queer desire.

anyway, i don’t really have a final point or conclusion that i set out to make with this. i guess i just think it would be nice to move the conversation a little further past “wlw fics are less popular because of misogyny!”, y’know? at the end of the day, i don’t think it’s inherently harmful that mlm fics/ships/media are so popular in queer spaces, and more often than not i think it’s actually an important medium for all kinds of queer people to explore desire + sexuality + gender + relationships through stories written by other queer people. however, i do think it simultaneously calls attention to the ways in which internalized misogyny and compulsory heternormativity can make it very, very difficult for people to envision lesbian desire and lesbian relationships, and i do think it’s important to like...do some soul-searching, y’know? like, just on an individual level, especially if you’re a queer person, and especially if you’re a queer woman--if you struggle to get into wlw fics/media the way you get into mlm fics/media, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, and it doesn’t make you a bad person, but it does mean that you should probably take some time to think about why that might be! what kinds of things did you learn to internalize that might be preventing you from embracing lesbian/sapphic/wlw (whatever u wanna call it) desire? and i say this as someone who had to spend years coming to terms with their own lesbian desire, who knows how difficult it can be to work through the layers of internalized misogyny, internalized homophobia, and compulsory heterosexuality. but at the end of the day, a lot of this fanfiction we’re reading is all tied together by the same elements of queer desire <3

this is by no means meant to be a comprehensive or even particularly academic analysis of the situation--i’ve just been thinking about these questions a lot lately and wanted to write down some thoughts to help me organize them. if u actually took the time to read all of this and have any thoughts or ideas to share i am clearly dying to discuss + my dms + ask box are always open :)

#i cannot respond to comments unfortunately #but if literally anyone wants to talk to me about this or has any other ideas abt why this disparity might exist i would love to hear!!#like it genuinely is such a fascinating question to me #i want to unpick it like a tangled ball of yarn #marauders #fanfiction #lesbian fanfiction #gay fanfiction #wlw fics #mlm fics #idk what else to add to these tags #txt #ranting and raving

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crystalelemental · 1 year

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Pokemon Team Characterization - Cynthia

Okay look, she’s one of my favorites, I had to do this. No long intro about it, just...I had to.

Here’s the Platinum team. Fun fact, there are four teams I’m going to show, because they’re all worth noting for subtle differences. There are consistencies, as we’ll get to, but the main one is Spiritomb always leads, Garchomp always is the ace, and Milotic and Lucario are literally always present. The other two can change.

BW1 adds in Eelektross and Braviary, at the cost of Roserade and Togekiss. I personally think bad trade, but oh well. Notably, movesets change quite a bit. Spiritomb now has tech.

BW2, back to Togekiss, Eelektross dropped for Glaceon. Objectively terrible competitive choice, but Glaceon’s my second favorite so I’m a fan.

Lastly, BDSP’s first rematch, to mirror Platinum’s. It’s worth bringing up here because the movesets are so wildly different in places. I’m going to talk about consistencies first, then some of the moving parts.

The Lead (Spiritomb) Spiritomb, for its place in time, was a great opening wall. No weakness. Fairy type didn’t exist, and unlike Sableye, Spiritomb had serious bulk. Interestingly, Cynthia’s initial incarnation uses it as an offensive Pokemon with four attacks. Of particular note, Ominous Wind over Shadow Ball, and Silver Wind as coverage, moves that give +1 to all stats on the rare successful roll. Later iterations incorporate more strategic applications of Spiritomb, including burn, evasion, and Hypnosis/Dream Eater combos to sustain itself. But even with these odd strategies, Spiritomb is, at its core, offensive.

This solidifies Cynthia as someone whose approach is more direct. She is going to hit you, and she is going to hit you very hard. Moreover, she is someone whose strategy involves type advantage. Cynthia uniquely packs a lead with zero weaknesses (until Fairy came in). It is a pure concept of a wall, used offensively. Cynthia’s approach is damage, but her particular strategy is type matchup. She is someone who understands and, critically, mastered the basics. That is, to me, the core of Cynthia. She prioritizes mastery. Her teams are notorious for their blend of types, and limited overlap in weaknesses, while maximizing offensive coverage. That’s someone who has mastered a particular field. Even with just the basics, she commands a great deal of knowledge about the subject she’s applied to.

The Ace (Garchomp) Garchomp is always her ace, and its approach is, like anything else, always damage-centric. It sometimes carries additional specially oriented attacks, but again, the focus is on coverage of moves. There isn’t much to add here, aside from the fact that Garchomp’s typing is absurd. Dragon/Ground has very little that resists it, and it’s another indication of that mastery of type advantage. If Spiritomb is proof of mastery from a defensive angle, Garchomp is proof of mastery from an offensive angle.

I think this presents the well-rounded aspect of Cynthia; someone whose mastery encompasses multiple angles. It’s not just one avenue, but many, and synthesizing those things together. She’s someone who isn’t satisfied with just one answer; she wants to know the full picture and have complete knowledge of a situation. And she wants it in clear, certain terms.

The Constants (Milotic and Lucario) Lucario is always damage. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was. Milotic, however, has something interesting, in the same way that Spiritomb does.

In Platinum, I think it’s worth noting that boosting moves and status moves basically don’t exist. Few Pokemon learn something like Toxic naturally, and the TM is locked behind the Battle Frontier, something that is both post-game, and also not going to be done by most people replaying the game. Same goes for boosts like Calm Mind. As such, Cynthia’s Platinum team is really weak to those setup strategies. Run a Dragon Dance Altaria and you’ll see what I mean; you can sweep with relative ease provided Spiritomb isn’t lucky with Ominous Wind. But it’s weak to it because you’re not typically going to have it. In games like Gen 5, when you have access to those tools a little more, suddenly it uses status and evasion. I think this is a difference more of the game’s design than anything, and points again toward that sense of mastery over the tools present.

And so we turn to Milotic, who is generally a straightforward bulky offense Pokemon, but starts to incorporate things like Attract as disruption, Dragon Tail to force switches on things that set up on it expecting passivity, Bulldoze to slow things down and bop Electric types, and Rest for a more assured recovery. And keeping in mind, these games are sequential. BW takes place after Platinum, and BW2 after BW1. Cynthia adapts her strategies over time. She’s highly flexible and open to experimentation or unique approaches, which is seen in her constant changing of her remaining team.

The Remainder Everything she adds complements the general team, but being offensive coverage and types that cover defensive gaps in the team. There is always very little overlap in her weaknesses, and almost nothing that at least one Pokemon on her team can’t answer. Regardless of what she runs, she’s got it covered. So I’m not going to go over each in turn.

What this tends to emphasize is someone who, during experimentation, is conscious of what she’s after. She can flex to a lot of situations and is highly adaptable, but at her core is always keeping the general structure in mind. She’s goal oriented, and knows what it is she’s aiming to accomplish with any particular action. Her decisions aren’t strictly sound. Dropping Eelektross for the far worse defensive option in Glaceon is questionable. But her decisions are at least thought through, even if she steps into the realm of wild experimentation.

General Structures The most interesting thing to note in Cynthia’s Platinum team is that all of her Pokemon, barring Roserade, are absurdly rare. Gible is found in one cave that’s easy to miss if you don’t pay attention to what people are saying. Spiritomb only exists if you’ve explored the underground. Milotic exists on like six tiles in the lake under Coronet and nowhere else. Lucario and Togekiss I don’t think even exist outside of the eggs you receive. When it comes to her Unova teams, the same rules apply. Eevee are rare encounters at Liberty Garden. Tynamo are exceptionally rare encounters in Chargestone Cave. Rufflet...okay that one’s fairly common I think, but so is Roserade. The point is, the majority of her team is rare, not just in that they don’t show up anywhere but like one specific place, but they’re low encounter rates as well.

This establishes Cynthia as someone who is thorough. Cynthia explores everything, and takes in as much as she can. And it’s not a quick assessment of what’s around, it’s a deep dive. She will dig into everything, as much as she can, to find what she’s after. She can be astonishingly patient when on a mission, and will put in the work to see something bear fruit. But there’s a passion for it, and a breadth of interest. It’s not just one thing she takes interest in, it’s multiple things, and she strives to incorporate them into her life as she picks up new interests.

Moreover, the fact that her constant Pokemon are all rare implies a certain pride in having them. Cynthia values the things that she knows or accomplishes that few others do. She takes pride in the effort it takes to accomplish something, and is more than willing to put that on display. She likes the things that make her stand out, but at the same time, there’s occasionally something that’s just...ordinary about her. Things she likes that...well, anyone would like. But it’s rare to see that. She’s someone who often puts her interests first and foremost. It’s the first thing you’re going to know about her. But there are, on occasions, times when it’s not about her specifics.

There are, however, some things she just enjoys that don’t take much. Things that are easier to appreciate, a bit more common and approachable rather than grandiose or unique. I think it’s also cute that her Eevee is Glaceon. At the time, that wasn’t a stone evolution; you needed to go to a specific location. Opting for Glaceon implies that she either dug through Twist Mountain, or went back to Sinnoh. In the case of the former, it’s the appreciation for the mountains; that’s what’s reminiscent of her homeland and what she likes best. In the case of the latter, it’s literally just the return home. No matter where she travels, she always goes back.

Summation Cynthia is someone defined by depth and mastery. She’s the kind of person who takes an interest in something, and goes to great lengths to understand it completely. She takes interest in many different things, but has certain things that serve as her basis that she always comes back to, including a strong attachment to Sinnoh. Her approach tends to be more direct and unyielding, and she can be incredibly stubborn, or dedicated depending on your point of view. She’ll stick with something for as long as it takes to be understood in totality, and prides herself on the things she knows or can do that no one else can. But also, in some spots, has pretty typical interests that other people would mesh with easily, when they’re not intimidated away by everything else she’s got going on.

If anyone has an alternate read on the team, I’d love to hear it. Who doesn’t love Cynthia? She’s one of my favorites to talk about. I’m always up for more Cynthia.

#pokemon #cynthia #pokemon team characterization

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galaeus · 24 days

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ROMANCE HEADCANONS

tagged by: idr this was eons ago and it was in my drafts tagging: anyone who wants to do a deep dive!

NAME: Echo J. Galaeus NICKNAME: N/A ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Bisexual (Demiromantic leaning) PREFERRED PET NAMES: None, but tolerates depending on the person. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Verse dependent, typically single. FAVORITE CANON SHIP: Echo x Some Peace FAVORITE NON-CANON SHIP: Everything is technically non-canon for her, so this doesn't apply (but Echo/Spock with @fasciinating atp is canon lore.)

OPINION ON TRUE LOVE: A childish notion; to Echo, true love is an excuse to want all the benefits of love without any work.

OPINION ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Again, not a thing for her. She'd liken anyone saying 'it was love at first sight' to 'it was fuck at first want'. HOW ‘ROMANTIC’ ARE THEY?: Atypically. She has a tendency to offer acts of service and being physically present, whether in the moment or a literal place, to show she’s ‘romantic’. She’s more practical in her relationships than she is romantic.

IDEAL PHYSICAL TRAITS: It seems like she’s always falling for people over six foot so KSDJFKSDF honestly she doesn’t have preferences. She falls for personality well before looks, but being just as active as she is, is a plus.

IDEAL PERSONALITY TRAITS: She gravitates towards people who do not take shit, especially her shit, because she likes to get away with things when people cower. She’s interested in leaders, those who are confident in what they’re good at and can back up their claims. Bravery. Forward-thinking. UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICAL TRAITS: Blonde men. I'M KIDDING ALSDKFJASDF (i'm so sorry Jim Kirk) but again -- physicality doesn't quite matter to her. UNATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: Lack of self-awareness, cowardice, excitableness, anyone who doesn’t take a stand for something or allows complacency to override passion. IDEAL DATE: Something small and intimate. Bars are fine if they're dives and on the outskirts of a city. Something that doesn't look like a date but, at the end of the day, is agreed to be one. DO THEY HAVE A TYPE?: it appears she always ends up with the people who beat her in a fistfight. This is 12 years of backed-up science. Intellectual smackdowns, not so much, because she's self-conscious about her intelligence. Broody people tend to gravitate towards her, too. She doesn't want to fix them. She wants to keep them as bad as they are. AVERAGE RELATIONSHIP LENGTH: If she’s in any committed relationship, it’s likely for life. She isn’t someone who dates around. Usually she will deny, deny, deny until it’s certain the other person won't disappear at a bad moment’s notice.

PREFERRED NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY: Simple proximity. Sparring. Sitting in comfortable silence. Sharing a meal.

COMMITMENT LEVEL: She is very committed to the person she chooses to be romantic with. OPINION OF PUBLIC AFFECTION: She hates PDA. Haaates it. Only way you’re going to get public affection out of her is if she's had a couple of drunks -- that's when she's much more languid and friendly.

PAST RELATIONSHIPS?: Typically verse-dependent, but in her sci-fi universes it's very rare she has dated anyone. (See Dune, Star Trek, Fallout, etc.)

#dash games #long post cw #;headcanons

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isa-artappreciation · 1 year

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Principles of Design

Unity vs Variety- Unity are elements of a work of art that are-same or similar in nature-used through out a piece to create a sense of visual continuity connecting creative thought to physical medium. Whereas Variety, is the exact opposite. Variety is the mixing of different elements, a lack of unity, applying diversity to the method used to express artistic concepts. They behave as two points on opposing ends of a spectrum. A good example would be kids having to wear uniforms in certain school’s, in contrast to kid’s who only need to follow a dress code. The obvious difference is being allowed to vary your self-expression from everyone else or not, both have benefits and problems, neither is necessarily completely wrong or right, it depends on specific functionality and preference.

Symmetrical vs Asymmetrical Design- If you were to cut any physical subject in half, and both halves are perfectly identical, then that object has absolute symmetry. Any smaller varying degrees of differences that begin to occur, will diminish how symmetric that object is. Very similar to the spectrum function mentioned above, the farther away you move from a visually identical image on both sides, containing inherent balance, the more asymmetric that subject is. For example, as beautiful as the anatomical structure of the human skull is naked, without flesh, is hardly ever perfectly symmetrical. Most people’s proportions of their individual bodies, have measurably slight variations from one half to another.

Emphasis vs Subordination- Emphasis is whatever chosen method an artist uses to get our attention focusing on what is decided as the most important-or more important- conceptual points, subjects, or elements within their piece. Subordination, ranks what’s less important in a piece, therefore designed in mind as to not distract from bigger ideas presented in the same work of art. These things can be manipulated with the moving around of different visual elements on their own spectrums, things like: size, placement, colors/brightness/hues. For example, in a future post-where I share a symbolic abstract self-motivated piece titled Isa’s Choice, you’ll notice very quickly that at the core of the painting, certain animals depicted are depicted in varying colors, the brightest categories are colored red and dark blue, being those that are metaphorically closest to my heart- they are also literally placed closest to my heart , not to mention they’re bigger than the other, darker figures. Certain visual elements were intentional designed to catch more of your attention, so that you can begin to deduce the actual message of my piece.

Directional Forces- Pathways/roads/bridges, a preset guided mode of getting from one point A to another point B . Or in the case of visual art from one idea A to another idea B-with your eyes. These forces are created by actual lines we can literally see or implied lines, which can be caused by the open-ended direction of an actual line that simply continues to direct almost in a visually metaphorical sense. Artists use these lines to direct focus of the viewer, and promote the thinking process in which the viewer begins to absorb and make sense of the artistic content, hopefully as ‘intended’ by the artist. If you’ve ever looked at a black and white optical illusion, typically your eyes and concentration begin to trip up after staring at certain images like this for too long- even as to create a small lasting image after we’ve turned away from the illusion. The lines within the structure of these optical illusions, whether implied or actual, are quite strong at guiding our eyes and thereby our attention.

Repetition and Rhythm- Repetition is quite self-explanatory, it is the repeated use of visual elements in a painting. However, rhythm is somehow an upgrade from repetition versus a lack of repetition. In the sense that, rhythm is the more intentional ordering and patterning of repeated visual elements, with the purpose of helping to emphasize certain elements, points, or subjects-while further subordinating others. Music may be a very simple example, but the rhythm of a musical composition is the backbone to these kinds of auditory pieces, when you actually more closely analyze said composition, or the accompanying experience that composition provides, you’ll notice that the structure and variations of the rhythm is simply organized patterns of sounds repeated in a resulting verbal song, that organize the overall artistic content with artistic medium.

Scale and Proportion- These two principles define proportional relationships of size. Scale is the relationship of size between two separate entities, proportion is the relationship of size of features of a whole entity to the overall whole. I’d like to bring back a compilation of some quite adored childhood memories of mine for this last one, VISITING THE MOSI. For anyone who wasn’t raised in the Tampa Bay Area, let me fill you in. The Museum of Science and Industry was one of my favorite places to visit, I loved that place as much as I loved Busch gardens-and one reason why was because they had a lot of cool and MASSIVE exhibits/art to be displayed. Now, it’s not an art museum, but science requires creativity to innovate. Which is a major point of why the MOSI is open, to promote creativity, and man-oh-man could 8-year-old Isa just feel the creative juices flowing; when she could see the big Orange and Black, 20 ft tall x 40ft long from snout to tail, ‘Recyclosaurus’, by Terry Klaaren. It’s called the Recyclosaurus, because it was meant to be made with as low cost materials as he could find, to obviously promote recycling and environmental awareness. However, they did have to revamp the structure when they realized in early 2010s that the original junk materials making up the old lights that made the eyes light up and lined the structure went out finally, the guts began to really smell too. Even threatened to fall out of the sculpture there for a little while. They ended up not refilling the interior of the Dino to prevent now foreseeable consequences. But, a part of what brought the message home for me ABOUT recycling, really was how cool this T-Rex turned out to be in comparison with 4.ft 8in me at the time. I mean Recyclosaurus was around 5x my size, what’s not be in awe about?

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viteducation · 1 year

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starsandthorn · 2 years

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(1/2) If you’re interested, what do you think of the theory that Varka (or any of the kof with critical thinking skills) suspect that Kaeya is a Fatui spy turned double agent? Tumblr won't let me send the link, but...

(2/2) Tl;dr he got dropped next to a rich family that later got involved with a Delusion and a Fatui ploy to gain influence, Diluc for physically fought him and not Eroch after The Incident, he has espionage skills he never got from Crepus, he immediately spotted actual (unintentional) Fatui agent Collei, and he looks like the 1st Harbinger. Sus, but ironically, none of these clues point to the actual truth.

I've genuinely never heard of this theory before, and honestly I don’t really see the point of it at all.

First of all, almost none of the information provided here is stuff that is common knowledge among the knights?

The whole thing with the Delusion wasn’t discovered until recently, and most of the suspicion from that discovery seemed to be directed at Diluc, since he’s the one that, nowadays, everyone knows as Crepus’s son. As far as most of them are concerned, his death was an unfortunate accident that the Fatui tried to take advantage of because that's what they do, probably one of many seeing as Ursa the Drake was plaguing Mond for literal centuries.

I highly doubt that Kaeya really went to anyone after that night and told them what Diluc did. like…he keeps his thoughts on what happened in a box hidden inside a wall above the Knights of Favonius headquarters; he’s not exactly in the habit of talking about his feelings.

Plus, if he went around telling people about it, his options would be tell them why Diluc attacked him or incriminate Diluc for attacking him without cause. Neither of those are options for him; he doesn’t blame Diluc for what happened and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him, and after getting his Vision, he’s consigned himself to living behind the guise of lies, never coming clean about his origins to anyone else again.

And yes, I would presume Kaeya has espionage skills he didn’t get from Crepus because he’s been in Mondstadt for ten to fourteen years and been working as a knight for quite a large portion of that. Not every skill one learns is learned from one’s parents; as far as the knights are concerned, some people are just naturally inclined to certain types of work, and Kaeya seems to be quite good at this kind of thing. And we don’t have any evidence that Kaeya was doing any sort of espionage work when he arrived at the Ragnvindr estate, so this is kind of a moot point.

Kaeya immediately pinpointing Collei as a possible perpetrator also isn't common knowledge. Amber knows that he was picking on her friend and then the two of them got into a fight, but other than that no one really knows he made any sort of connection that fast.

Also, unintentional Fatui agent Collei? Did we read the same manga? She literally murdered a bunch of Fatui diplomats. Just because she was experimented on and the Fatui tried to take advantage of what she did to gain power doesn’t mean she’s aligned with them. What.

And again, the knights don’t know that she killed anyone. Kaeya, Diluc, and Amber [and I guess Cyno, but he doesn’t really apply here] are the only ones who are aware of her involvement, as they’re the ones who helped cover it up for her.

Lastly, I don’t think Pierro’s appearance is exactly common knowledge among literally anyone in Teyvat outside of the Tsaritsa and the Harbingers. The man seems kind of reclusive, so I don’t think this is really a genuine point worth considering.

And honestly, I don’t really see the point in looking at Kaeya and going “what if everyone was suspicious of him, but like, for the wrong reasons” when pretty much nobody in game is that suspicious of him at all. Amber is the only one who comes close, but really only seems to be wary of him because of what happened with Collei in the manga. Like,, this is the city of freedom. Even if someone, somewhere, got it in their heads that he was a Fatui spy at one point, who cares? He genuinely cares for Mond and its people and does everything he can to protect it. I don’t think anyone would think that way about him.

Overall, this theory is a bit of a reach and I don’t see what substance it provides to the characters or the story as a whole.

#personal stuff #ask #anonymous #tl;dr i don't care for it #i'd apologize for the rant but i'm not really sorry lol #i don't think anyone in mond really has the kind of suspicion necessary to think of kaeya like this #or to make this kind of connection when they dont have this information #especially when he so clearly cares for mond and does literally everything in his power to antagonize the fatui #thanks for asking!

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pinerboomer · 2 years

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cinnamonest · 2 years

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Okay so for some reason, the last post I just made posted very strangely and cut off a bunch of my sentences? Anyway, reposting with screenshot:

Oh no you're absolutely correct lol I am self-aware of it, kinda like when I made this post a long time ago Fun fact: abnormally high sex drives are one of the qualifiers for obtaining a vision! Celestia just looks at a person like "oh you're like HORNY horny, here's a vision". But anyhow, what this tells me is there is a need for analysis. We are doing this. I want to say they're all on like the 7-10 range with a few outliers. Kinda like the severity scale but for horniness. There's also a matter of like how perverted/horny one is versus the amount of times a day they actually have sex... of course for fully human boys, usually they can only have so many orgasms (average is like 4 for an adult male) before they're shooting blanks, but that doesn't apply to non-humans. Either way, even the boys that only fuck like once or twice a day are still more horny than the average person (the average for an adult is about twice a week), so they earn their ranks.

Here is my objectively correct mathematically calculated and scientifically tested conclusion:

7: Chongyun*, Zhongli 8: Diluc, Bennett, Ayato 9: Xingqiu, Thoma, Scaramouche 10: Venti, Kaeya, Childe, Albedo, Kazuha 11: Gorou, Razor, Xiao*

----------- Xingqiu, Bennett, and Chongyun all have that horny teenage boy energy going on, but the thing is Chongyun has very specifically and intentionally trained to deal with it in the sense of the normal "sporadic thoughts" type of drive. He can calm any such "urges" and can sort of keep the horny at bay. The asterisk is there, though, because he can easily jump up the scale to a 10 when under the influence of mania, particularly for any extended period of time. The unfortunate thing is that said mania is easily triggered by like... anything. Like, he can control the default sex drive and intrusive thoughts, but gods forbid you hold his hand or something or he cannot be held responsible for the following actions. Overall: if he can control himself, he can wait until nighttime and do it once or twice before falling asleep, but would go more if you let him or if he's extra horny. Very good at keeping it out of his thoughts.

---- Zhongli probably fits into this tier (but like... still literally an 7/10) solely because similar to Chongyun he has learned over time to have really good self-control so he can focus on necessary tasks, to the point that if he has something that must be done, his mind will concentrate on that matter. But it's also due to having a sexuality that's what you might call "progressive sexuality", in which arousal sort of builds slowly under certain stimuli. This is actually a very good thing because unlike with some people you won't just get cock shoved inside you at a moment's notice, it's nice and slow and there's a good buildup to everything you do. ...Also note that this applies pretty much only to him now. Morax of back-in-the-day was... another story, probably more in line with Xiao later on down the list. Overall: often once or twice a day, but very long, drawn out sessions themselves. Perfectly capable of separating his thoughts and saves sexuality for when it's appropriate and he's not too busy, but can appreciate little "distractions". But all of this can quickly be overwritten if you make him too hot. ---- Amongst the small boy squad™, Bennett is in between Chongyun and Xingqiu. He just doesn't quite match Xingqiu's drive, but he lacks Chongyun's self control. Unlike both of those two, though, he can actually manage to do romantic things and enjoy them for what they are without immediately wanting to turn it into a sex thing, and to be honest, a lot of his thoughts are more romantic and wholesome, it's actually really cute. He's also much better at controlling himself specifically around you, for the time being... although he's still going to jerk off a lot when he gets home, he'll still actually wait until then, he can keep himself from doing anything to you. If you've reached a point where you're comfortable with him, though, he still likes doing a lot of wholesome things and romantic things and fun things, but they end up leading to sex at the end of the day. Overall: very good at self-control, thoughts tend to be wholesome but can get sexual. Maybe once or twice a day depending on how your day goes. ---- Diluc is still relatively high drive, but it's very dependent on his emotional state. He needs to be in the ideal emotional state, because he's a lot more sensitive than he lets on and if he gets in a mood where you said or did something to make him all hurty and upset, he won't be able to be horny or anything... you have to usually wait for him to get over it on his own, as attempts to offer sex as a means of making him happy will be met with suspicion. Similarly, his other moods can impact his drive as well -- if he's under a lot of stress or mad about something unrelated to you, it's actually a lot higher, because he's conditioned himself to use orgasms as a method of stress relief, and ever since he got you, you have become his equivalent of a stress squeeze ball. However, under normal circumstances, he's sort of like Zhongli in that it's a buildup/progressive, but progresses much faster. Overall: 2-3 times a day, but with a LOT of buildup/the sessions themselves are very long leading up to the actual sex. ---- Ayato I feel like has basically been forced to learn to hyperfocus on the task at hand, similar to Chongyun. So he gets hyperfocused on certain matters that need to be dealt with, and gets so absorbed in that that he can't really think of anything else or focus on other needs while resolving some major problem (it's not the only need he neglects too, sometimes you have to remind him to eat and sleep because he's so involved with something). He's not so much the type to take breaks to get out the stress like some and prefers to push straight through without stopping, but this actually has an amusing result because that just means it bottles up without him realizing it. It's as if his body has a "pause" button, but when you unpause the entire video starts playing at 3x speed to catch up for the time paused. When he's done with the task, all those pent-up hormones tend to come out all at once. So essentially, his drive varies from day to day -- you'll get a few days of next to nothing, and then immediately followed by a few days getting so stuffed with cum you feel like a water balloon. Overall: some days literally 0, followed by like 4-5 in a single day and repeat. ---- Thoma kinda is in an unfortunate position because his drive is higher than, but has a similar attitude to Bennett/Chongyun where he wants so badly to be a good respectful boy... it's not his fault his darling has fleshy parts that look very grabbable... what other reason would you even have them to begin with, if not to be used as handlebars?? But no, no, he keeps telling himself to be good and respectful... so he tries to take his mind off of it. Through frequently jerking off at night, he manages to make it so that he's too spent in that regard to get horny throughout the day, and thus keep the libido down. ...That being said, while it keeps intrusive thoughts at bay, it doesn't help with his body's natural reactions to visual stimuli. But he's still able to think about other things and keep it down. Overall: 2-3 times a day, if you've accepted him, a good of thoughts and easily stimulated, but he pushes the thoughts away and clears his mind quite a bit. ---- Scaramouche is a bit of an interesting case because it's a lot higher than it comes off. If you went on his outward behavior alone, you'd think he's more around like. A 3 or 4 or so. A lot of it has to do with his general discomfort and embarrassment on the subject and need to get comfortable with you with time. So he never really shows it outwardly, but yes, it is on his mind a lot more often than he lets on, and he also jerks off a lot more than most people would think, although he holds himself back a lot, which makes him more frustrated. But around you, he feels too vulnerable and pathetic if he made it obviously clear he desperately wants to fuck you, so he tends to just pass it off as if he's bored or just wanting to harm you. Interestingly, one of the few ways to actually see his drive in full, unmasked force is a darling that, be it by mindbreak or just something about your nature, actually loves the bastard and just allows him to be the way he is without complaint, and is openly affectionate no matter what. In which case, he gets more used to it, and both the transparency of wanting it without having to come up with an excuse and the frequency will greatly increase. Overall: drawn-out sessions, lots of intrusive thoughts, maybe 2 times a day for normal darling and 4-5 times for a loving affectionate darling. ---- Xingqiu is basically just unrestrained. He was definitely allowed to get away with a lot in formative years and while he was taught restraint and self-control in literally every other aspect of life, this is the one area where he wasn't. Nor, you know, respect for the autonomy of others... sigh. Especially not if you're already basically his or in an arranged marriage sort of deal, in which case he has no reason to show restraint. As aforementioned, he's got your typical horny teen boy jacked up on hormones thing going on, leading to him just having sporadic cravings at random throughout the day. Also note that unlike Diluc, you can make his mood do a complete 180 if he's upset by being like "hey you want your dick sucked :)" to which he will immediately forgive most things and go back to being very happy because his hormones are just kinda like "so uh you done being sad yet bc--" Overall: 3 times a day-ish, whether or not there's a lot of buildup varies. Sometimes there's a lot of building up tension and heat, and sometimes it's very sudden. ---- The 10 tier are all just horny bastards. Venti is probably the worst offender here as far as openness. Venti can and will whip his dick out without the slightest hint of shame at a moment's notice and that is a threat. Like if you call his name in a way he can interpret as remotely suggestive to come into the room where you are, he will be naked and fully hard in the 3.7 seconds it takes to walk to you. But it's also more just perpetual perversion too - the whole thing where he just sort of take every opportunity to get "hugs" that just so happen to stuff his face into some tiddy, upskirt you, grope and generally be a little voyeur perv -- although he's very open about it and doesn't really try to hide it. So basically it's not always necessarily a drive to actually physically have sex then and there, just that he thinks about it very frequently, even when he's not actively trying to get inside you. Overall: very horny, lots of thoughts, but likes to draw stuff out. Maybe only 2 or three times a day, but near-constant perversions you're subjected to.

---- Kaeya is... the way that he is. He's certainly never going to say no. He's a "sex is the answer not the question" type of guy. The only real difference between him and Childe below is he manages to not let the horny seep into his public persona... not too much at least. He's still a fairly flirtatious person, but it doesn't come off as being like, overtly sexual unless it's to a darling. He still has an air of dignity and preservation of his self-image and doesn't want to come off as immature or anything, especially in a workplace setting. That being said, it's still in his head a lot, lots of intrusive little thoughts throughout the day, and when it is you he's dealing with, he gets a lot more aggressive and sexual in the way he interacts. More suggestive, and more importantly, more touchy. His thoughts sort of bounce back and forth -- he can focus on work and other things, but can also get completely "distracted" within a single instant. In private is when it all really comes pouring out, in which case, it's just like Venti and Childe where it's not like he's 24/7 trying to get inside you, but he's certainly trying to do something vaguely sexual most of the time and will certainly grope and rub his way into fucking you multiple times, repeating that cycle over and over, and will do literally anything to obtain it.

Overall: focused but can easily be distracted by stimuli, your existence sort of serves as stimuli. Intrusive thoughts are frequent but not too bad, but made worse with stimuli. 4 times a day if he has a day off, but if he's super tired from work can only fit in like 2-3.

---- But then there is Childe. I want to say he's basically horny at all times except fighting, but to be honest I'm pretty certain violence actually makes him rock hard so not even the art of battle is sacred. Unlike Kaeya he doesn't even have the sense of dignity/appropriateness or maturity thing going on, he has the maturity of a 14-year-old boy sometimes and will make constant vulgar innuendos and jokes. Often at your expense/about you. Often in settings where he very much should not be saying those things. Sigh. He's sort of like Venti in the sense that he's not going to be literally trying to have sex every waking second or anything, but will more or less have it constantly on his mind and his actions reflect that that is the way he is inclined to think. He's stressed? Let him just stuff his face in your chest. He's sad? Flash him please. Just one, one second of tiddy is all he needs to see and if not he's going to die of deprivation. Unlike Kaeya/Venti, his thoughts are pretty much always there in some capacity, on the back burner of his mind so to speak, whereas those two are very frequent but not so near-constant as him. His horny nature tends to bleed out into hearing him talk about anything else. Also, he seems to never run out of energy for it somehow. Overall: perpetual intrusive thoughts, maybe 5 times a day, never too tired to fit in as much as he can, sessions are of average length/low buildup because he gets impatient. ---- Kazuha is similar to Scaramouche (and Albedo below) in that it almost seems contradictory. He's so soft-spoken and sweet that you wouldn't really realize how frequently he's got fantasies going on in his head (or the degree of their depravity). Kazuha is actually our #1 winner in the "fully human" division of boys, the above him are all non-human in some capacity. One unique thing is that in his formative years, he had a lot of time to himself out in the open in solitude, and he got to a point where fantasizing literally became a way to just pass the time when he had nothing else to do but stare at his feet as he walked. So he has learned to have a lot of thoughts without needing to immediately deal with said thoughts, but because he has conditioned himself to it, at even just a few minutes of boredom or the slightest lack of anything to do, his brain sort of automatically switches into fantasizing mode, even if the situation is something normal and inappropriate/public like waiting in line at a street vendor, stuck in a boring conversation with someone, or when he's trying to fall asleep at night. With you, he retains the same level of thoughts, but his actual drive to act on them goes up a lot, he's slightly got a reactive sexuality, and he's very touchy. He's actually like a normal guy in the sense that he will start getting dry orgasms around 3-4 times, but he just... keeps fucking you anyway because somehow he's still horny. Overall: 5 times a day or so, constant intrusive thoughts. ---- Similarly, Albedo is actually very high, you just won't know it. Not until you have no choice but to learn that fact, at least. He's one of those boys that can just sit there with a completely straight face and speak in a monotone voice while absolute unspeakable filth is going on inside his brain. And he does -- he's slightly hypersexual, has a lot of intrusive thoughts more or less all throughout the day that just pop into his head at random, which is how he's learned to keep a straight face and calm demeanor all the while and continue to do work while he fantasizes (unlike Kaeya/Ayato, he's basically mastered the art of somehow managing to do both at once so there's no need to focus). A lot of times in your early days together before he takes you away, he does the thing where he's zoned out and will sort of "...sorry, what?" and you chuckle because haha, he's so absent-minded sometimes... like, yes, his mind was on other things, namely picturing what you would look like with his hands around your throat. However, his sessions aren't drawn out nor have buildup, it's very sporadic and short. Oh, and fun fact, he was very specifically designed to be able to cum more times a day than a normal human. So for the average adult male, they can go about 5 times on average before having dry orgasms, but for him it's more around 8. Overall: 6-7 times a day on average, constant thoughts. ---- Notably the 3 in the 11 tier are all there because of their animal ties/biology and physiology. Gorou's is a given, obvious. Breed. It's a biological imperative. It's a need. And hey, have some understanding and empathy for him! Knots can feel so painful when they swell up and have no hole to put them in :( You will provide him with much-needed relief. He's actually less perverted/has less frequent intrusive thoughts than the five boys on the 10 tier, but he earns his place on this tier solely because of how many times a day he can go. He's actually very focused on his work and missions, but if he gets distracted, he gets really distracted, to the point of being unable to control himself. Which is a big factor at play here: his brain simply has very low self-control if he gets too into the heat of feelings and urges. He just wasn't thinking. You try to take some preventative measures of wearing more covering clothing and the like, but it seems to be to no avail. He has his limits, but you usually find yourself begging for no more today before he hits that limit. Normally, he gets horny in intervals as he trains -- an intense training or sparring session can get him a little too excited and he has to run back to his quarters to get that excitement out or else the rather prominent bulge will become noticeable. Which sounds reasonable, except it happens like... a lot, far more than a human could manage, and is ready to go several more rounds once he finally is off duty for the day. Overall: around 10-11 times a day, not so much intrusive thoughts so much as extremely sensitive to stimuli. ---- Xiao has the asterisk because it's sort of a complicated thing. See, prior to your presence, he actually had a virtually non-existent drive. Once a day or every other day or so, he would get that weird pressure feeling, go up to a mountaintop somewhere far away from anything else, and just use his hand to get rid of the problem... it actually irritated him, he saw it as a waste of time to have these stupid urges. His brain sort of shifts when you come along. It's like turning on a light switch. Before, his body had no reason to be horny, no holes to breed, poor thing... now, his brain has registered that he has a mate. Now there is a reason, and his brain tells his body to kick it into full gear. Which is unfortunate for you, due to his lack of any refractory, as well as a lack of an orgasm limit -- again, not only regarding how guys essentially run out of cum and start having dry orgasms, but you know how if you keep having orgasms several times in one day, each one tends to get a bit harder to achieve? Or how after a while if you keep having orgasms over and over, you stop really feeling as horny? He doesn't experience that. There is simply no limit. And more importantly, as always, he has a hard time understanding that you are different from him and literally, physically cannot take it. Truly a menace. Overall: ∞ times a day, you have to be the one to forcibly tell him no more, and you will because if you do not he will continue to (unknowingly) test both the physical limits of your pussy and your sanity. ---- And then there's Razor. Razor is a biological anomaly. Razor's sheer iron-strength unstoppable force of a libido can and will baffle Teyvat's finest scientists. Because there's nothing in Razor's biology that should make him the way that he is. At the end of the day, raised by wolves or not, biologically he's still just... some guy. A human. Science cannot explain how this boy can nut so many times in one day and still be producing cum. He beats out Xiao solely on the fact that he doesn't need a darling to possess the drive, nor does darling intensify/increase his drive -- it's already pretty much at maximum capacity and literally cannot go higher, but now he just has something other than his hand (and the poor small hydro slimes he has... experimented with... they're basically a DIY make-your-own fleshlight waiting to be used, can't blame him) to channel that drive into. If you could look into his mind at any given time that he's just staring into space doing nothing (which he does rather frequently), and project his thoughts somehow, it's like... 50% a static tv screen and 50% thoughts about breeding darling. His brain is determined to breed by all means possible and produces the sheer willpower necessary to nut in darling as many times as physically possible. Your life will never know peace. Overall: there's... probably a limit there somewhere? But you'll likely never find it. Head empty, only darling.

So, to summarize, if we're going from lowest to highest: Chongyun < Zhongli < Bennett < Diluc < Ayato < Thoma < Scaramouche < Xingqiu < Kaeya < Venti < Childe < Kazuha < Albedo < Gorou < Xiao < Razor This has been an educational PSA.

#lena's asks

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no-droids · 3 years

Text

Whenever You Want

Part Fourteen of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11.2K

Warnings: Listen there is some dirty smut in this one yall okay like I was blushing when I wrote it, it has a very stark beginning and theres a pagebreak afterwards if you would prefer to skip over it. Smut includes oral sex (female receiving) rough sex, sensory deprivation, butt stuff (ass to mouth, anal fingering/penetration) so PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR IT PLEASE. Also there is jealous/possessive mando in this, season 1 Karga makes another appearance, and some angst/fluff towards the end

A/N: Nothing much today yoditos just love you all

***

Din said he’d meet you here.

You’re currently sitting across from Greef Karga in a cantina on Nevarro, a closed shield next to you and a blaster tucked into the back of your waistband, hidden underneath your shirt. You’re barely even looking at him, though—your eyes are attached to the door by an invisible string, forcing your gaze back to it no matter how much it bounces around the room.

You don’t know where Din is, you haven’t seen him in hours. But you do know that when he left, he was moving slower than you’re used to. You don’t think anyone else would notice, but you sure did. Not that he was obvious about it—you only picked up on very subtle hints. Leaning up against things just a bit more than he usually does. Taking slightly longer exiting the ramp of the Crest than his normal strides would carry him.

He didn’t say what he was going to do—just that he needed to find someone before meeting with Karga, and you accepted it. But truthfully, you didn’t want to. You were worried about him—still are, actually. But for all intents and purposes, he was speaking and acting like himself, showing no real signs of exhaustion other than the smallest instances you described before, so you didn’t really have a leg to stand on. He’s been through way worse, and you know it. You just… find yourself worrying about him so much more than you used to, and you need to learn how to gain some control over that part of you.

The kid was still passed out from healing him and you remember Din carefully setting four pucks down in the sleeping baby’s sphere and giving his ears a gentle rub between leather fingers. He turned back to you and told you to meet him at the cantina in three hours, but if it ended up taking him too long for any reason, to try your best to see if Karga will let you exchange on his behalf.

Admittedly, he didn’t sound too confident about it—the instructions were delivered with a tone that implied a doubtful, just-in-case scenario he wasn’t foreseeing happening. Or maybe he just doubted the likelihood of Karga agreeing to do business with you, you’re not entirely sure. All you know is that when he left, you were almost certain he wouldn’t be late, but you also took the time to grab the smallest blaster from his armory before heading out just in case.

Yet—here you are, three and a half hours later, eyes flicking between the door and Karga as you attempt to keep up polite conversation. After turning down his offer of alcohol for the fifth time and still not seeing any glimpse of beskar coming to your rescue, you figure this may be as good a time as any to start the exchange.

During an extended break in the small talk, you slowly reach over to the corner of your booth and press a button on the face of the kid’s shield. It hisses open and you completely miss the way Karga’s hand raises while three of his guards automatically reach for their hips. The little green monster is still snoozing comfortably while you pull out the four glowing pucks Din left you and set them on the table one by one.

They scrape along the top of it as you slowly push them over to him, before sitting back in the booth and clearing your throat, flicking your eyes between Karga and his guards. To you, nobody appears to have moved, so you muster a polite smile at him.

Karga smiles back, but makes no move to gather or inspect the offerings in front of him.

“Um…” you say after a moment, suddenly feeling your heart start to beat a little faster. “Mando… Mando gave me permission to exchange on his behalf.”

“I believe you,” he drawls out in response, but the pucks still sit untouched in front of him as he leans back in the booth and studies you. “Mando has always had a… let’s say, a frustrating penchant for disregarding the pillars of our code. My apologies, young lady, but I’m afraid that I cannot accept these from you.”

Your voice comes out quieter than you’d like it to sound. “Why not?”

“It is… unlawful,” he answers after a moment. “Our organization operates under strict rules.”

Does it? You blink. No, it doesn’t. You’re nothing to the Guild and you’ve sat next to Din quite a few times while Karga talked, listening to him drunkenly boast about return rates and out members by name. You’re not sure why he’s barring you like this, but you’re also not self-assured enough to put practically any spine into it whatsoever. “I’m… afraid I don’t understand.”

“I cannot legally do guild business with individuals not recognized as members in an official capacity,” he sighs, sounding grave and almost apologetic about it, but you don’t know him well enough to know if he’s a good actor or not. “There’s nothing I can do for you besides provide you with my company, not until Mando decides to show.”

Well now that doesn’t make any sense, and you’re starting to worry that for some reason or another, he isn’t going to show. Though it was incredibly well concealed, you’re well aware that Din was still lingering in the final recovery stages when he left the Crest earlier and all you have to go on is his word that he’d be here. Something could’ve happened. Something could be happening right now, you need to push.

“People pick up bounties for extra credits all the time,” you mumble, still way too fucking quiet about it. Maker, you’re not even sure if he could hear that over the sound of the cantina. Speak up, speak up.

“Yes, but those quarry are listed on the New Republic’s most wanted database,” Karga acknowledges diplomatically, educating more than he is arguing, before uncorking the bottle of glowing blue alcohol in front of him and beginning to pour himself another shot. “They’re fodder. Up for grabs—names, last known locations, and biometrics published for the entire galaxy to read.” He tilts his head down at the four metal pucks on the table without removing his gaze from the gradually filling glass. “Those pucks are different, they’re commissions. Tied specifically to Guild contracts.” Karga clunks the bottle back down again and corks it, pinning you with a stare. “For all I know, you could’ve murdered a member of our ranks and come to collect payment for his bounties. Can’t have that.”

Your blood suddenly turns to ice at the implication, eyes wide and your heartbeat rocketing as you look from Karga to the three guards casually stationed behind him. “You—You think I murdered Mando?”

“No,” he says, easily and in the very same breath, before throwing the shot back and wiping his mouth with a grimace. “Not sure I’d care too much if you did. It’s not my rule, but I am required to follow it or risk losing my position in the Guild.”

Shit. Shit. What do you do?

You’re blank, left quiet and feeling increasingly unsure of how to proceed. Karga, however, seems completely unbothered and even appears to be enjoying himself and your company. He gives you another smile, this one a lot friendlier and more genuine than the one earlier, before setting his elbows on the table and leaning forward.

“Look, I want to help you,” he admits, keeping his tone light, “but my hands are tied. Just relax and share a drink with me until he gets here, it’s not a problem.”

Fuck, you don’t like this, and a quick look around brings another reminder of Din’s continued absence. Your chest feels tight, the anxiety starting to compound and make you jumpy. It’s been too long—it’s been at least forty minutes or so of waiting by now and something just feels wrong about this. Not having him next to you feels wrong enough on its own, but when he specifically told you he’d be here?

You clench your jaw and try to work up your nerve. Karga is a nice guy, right? He knows you by name, he knows who you are to Mando. And while you never really thought about the bounty hunter’s omnipresent protection as being anything other than metaphorical, you suddenly realize that… it might be literal, too. How much sway do you actually have here, you wonder? You’re not stupid, you’re not going to try anything stupid, but maybe just another question won’t hurt?

“Well, um… how do you become a member, then?” You ask him, and you watch as he leans back in the booth, raising both eyebrows at you.

“Excuse me?” He asks, though there’s a genuine amusement in his voice. Stunned that you’d even say the words aloud.

“I have four bodies,” you tell him shortly. You’re still quiet about it, but his thoroughly entertained astonishment is beginning to rub you the wrong way. You don’t want to be part of the Guild, you don’t want to be here, you’re doing this out of growing necessity. “One of which I dragged through a blizzard on Hoth by its ankles and put into carbonite myself, so please just tell me what I have to do to get you to take them.”

“I can’t,” he repeats, shaking his head like you’re just not getting it. “New members are only accepted if they bring in an S-level criminal from the database or if they complete a commission that was granted to them by someone of my station—neither of which apply to you. If you cannot present me with any sort of reasonable argument for which they could, then I’m afraid this is not a favor I can swing.”

“I was sitting right here,” you return, suddenly finding your voice. If Karga wants an argument from you to get this to happen, then you’ll do it. You just need to finish this exchange, go back to the Crest, and scan around for Din’s signal. “When you first gave the pucks to Mando, I sat right here and you pushed them over to this side of the table—I was present for the commission and now I’m here to complete it.”

He shakes his head. “But I didn’t give them to you, I gave them to Mando—”

“Yes, but you only wanted to give him three,” you immediately point out. “The last one, the one I told you I put into carbonite—you said you threw it in because you liked me, it could’ve been for me.”

Karga suddenly stops and blinks at you for a few seconds, and you bite your lip, wondering if the logic will hold. It’s flimsy as fuck and you know he could very easily rip it apart if he wanted to. It could’ve been for you but it wasn’t, he gave it to Mando. You also purposefully leave out the fact that you’re also the reason Mando only gave him three bodies in the first place; your only goal here is to complete this transaction as quickly as possible and leave. You don’t like the fact that it’s taking Din so long, and you also don’t like the fact that Karga seems so keen on keeping you here with him, no matter how many reassurances he provides. He said he wants to help you? This can be his chance to prove it.

After a few extended moments of consideration, Karga finally shrugs like he really couldn’t care less before reaching across the table for the pucks and beginning to stack them in his palm.

“What is your last name?” He asks, turning behind him to gesture for one of his men with a jerk of his head. The bodyguard exits the cantina without another word and your eyes flick back to Karga’s.

“Why does it matter?” You ask uncertainly, watching another guard approach with a holopad as he shrugs once more.

“It doesn’t, but we need something for our records,” Karga explains, grabbing the device as it’s tapped against his shoulder without removing his gaze from yours. “I can just use Doe if you don’t feel like sharing—most of our members tend to prefer anonymity, including your companion.”

Your eyebrows furrow even as your heart continues to pound, wondering how they can afford to be so lax about some things but take others so seriously. “You have him down as John Doe?”

“First name Man,” Karga grunts in response, finally breaking eye contact to begin navigating through pages on the holopad.

“Ah,” you say shortly, knowing you’d probably find the joke funny in other circumstances. You’re not out of the trenches yet, you still feel the worry tugging hard at your chest.

“Very well,” Karga announces with a sigh, pocketing the pucks in his leather overcoat and then handing the holopad back to one of the men flanking him after a moment. “Someone is collecting the carbonite plaques from your vessel as we speak.”

You give him a nod, taking a deep breath that you hope is slow and subtle enough to not give your anxiety away. He helped you out, you’re halfway through this. Now comes the exchange. Now it’s his turn to give you the credits and four more pucks, that’s how this should go.

Only, Karga leans back in his seat and cocks his head at you. “Unfortunately, I believe we have found ourselves in the midst of yet another predicament.”

Your heart continues to slam, praying you haven’t somehow majorly fucked things up by getting this far. Din still isn’t here, why is he so fucking late? He nearly froze to death and you handled a dead body just to make this meeting on time, where the fuck is he?

You raise an eyebrow at him, willing the building panic not to show on your face. “Have we?”

“You’re lucky credits are attached to commissions instead of rank within the Guild,” he prefaces, pulling out a large handful of them to begin counting, and your eyes flick around the cantina while you know he isn’t looking, “or else you’d be getting about half of what I’d normally give him.”

Heart galloping when you still don’t see any sign of him, you just decide to keep extra quiet as you watch Karga divvy out a sizable stack of credits, hoping your prolonged silence will protect you somehow.

“The question now becomes…” he lifts an eyebrow at you while sliding them across the table to you, “how many pucks do I give you in return, hm?”

Fuck, you don’t like this, you’re trying to make it crystal fucking clear that your intentions do not extend beyond the perimeter of this table. There’s no you to be found in this deal, you’re just an emergency proxy in Din’s absence and you only inserted yourself in the situation to accomplish that task. “I told you I’m only here to exchange on Mando’s behalf, that’s it.”

“Be that as it may…” Karga glances around the cantina like he’s thinking extra hard about it. This is a made-up problem, you both know there’s no predicament here. He knows you didn’t kill Mando, he knows there’s no real reason to be giving you such a hard time about this, and you clench your jaw as he still seems to take his time considering it. “Tell you what, young lady,” he finally turns back to you. “Do me the honor of sharing one sip of this fine spotchka with me and I’ll give you four pucks to pass along to Mando.”

Okay. Okay, you can do that, if he really cares that much. Karga gestures for the closest droid to come by with a glass for you, but you just grab the bottle in front of him and uncork it without thinking too much, balancing the glowing blue liquid with two hands and diligently taking a small sip of it before setting it down again. Appearing satisfied with your demonstration of upholding your end of the bargain, Karga grins and reaches into another pocket.

“Four for Mando,” he pushes four pucks across the table, “same rate and return as last time, as promised.” You nearly deflate in relief as you quickly gather them up and begin dropping them into the snoozing baby’s shield along with the credits, but then Karga reaches back and pulls out another puck, pushing it over to you. “And one for you.”

You blink at him, frozen in place.

“Lowest level, lowest pay. Not even a criminal by New Republic standards, just a missing person,” he goes on to say, but then quite suddenly…

Quite suddenly you’re absolutely fucking horrified.

You don’t want it. Everything inside you surges up to scream that you do not want that puck. It’s a waste of time, even if it’s an extra job—it’s too much trouble, too much fuel for such a small reward. You already know good and well that Din won’t want to bother, getting this extra puck would be considered a detriment to him.

“What if I don’t want it?” You ask, sounding nervous and vaguely out of breath as you look down at it.

Karga scoffs. “Of course you don’t. Nobody wants these, why do you think I’m trying so hard to pawn one off on you?”

Shit. This is not at all how you expected any of this would go. You know he’s not really asking, even if his tone and continued courtesy implies it’s only a request. There’s an expectation attached to this, and it appears you take too long pondering an offer that isn’t actually voluntary. Karga stares at you and your clear apprehension for just a few seconds more, before finally giving you an ultimatum. “You said you’re here on his behalf. You either take all five pucks now or Mando only gets three next time, your choice.”

Oh. Oh, no. This is a lose-lose; three pucks means more fuel and less credits, five pucks means more fuel and less credits. It’s not like you have any real bargaining power here—almost everything he’s done for you today has been a favor of some sort and you’re well aware that things can always get worse.

Still, you take a deep breath and try your best to throw around whatever weight you have left in one final agreement.

“Give me your word you’ll go back to giving him four from now on, no more hassling or hard time constraints and we’ll take it just this once,” you tell him, trying to conjure and put power behind your words even though you’re unsure if they’ll stick.

“Deal,” Karga readily agrees with a smile, reaching his hand across the table. You have no choice but to meet him in the middle and clasp it, unable to feel anywhere close to good about your performance here. It was clunky and insecure and even though you just barely succeeded in making the exchange overall, you’re massively disappointed in the specifics.

But then Karga’s eyes quickly flick over your shoulder.

“Ah, Mando!” He suddenly calls out, and your hand nearly snatches away from his while your body goes rigid.

Oh, this isn’t good, this is not good. Well, it’s good that he’s here but it also really fucking isn’t. You don’t even turn your head; you sit completely straight and still while the cantina falls to a hush and heavy footsteps begin to approach behind you. You fucked up—you fucked up, you didn’t wait long enough and you feel the sharp regret instantly twist in your stomach. He said he’d be here, why didn’t you trust him? Your anxiety and stress compounded and spurned you to act too quickly, you made the deal a few fucking seconds before he showed up.

And, as Din eventually comes into your peripheral, taking his time leaning his rifle up against the table, you immediately realize that you should not have worried. Recovery isn’t even a word in his vocabulary right now—he’s more intimidating than he’s ever been, more powerful and certain and dangerous while he lowers himself into the seat next to you than he’s ever felt to you before. Everything is so quiet now that he’s here; you feel like even just swallowing against the sudden dryness in your throat turns into an audible gulp. The man sitting across from you may own this cantina and every material good under its roof, but the one sitting by your side feels like he steals the literal air from the room just by walking inside it.

Yet, in spite of the daunting presence of the Mandalorian, Karga beams and tips his glass at him. “I believe you’ve arrived just in time for your favorite part of the conversation, friend. The farewells.”

You stare wide-eyed down at the table as Din leans back into the booth and very slowly extends his arm behind your shoulders, saying nothing at all to him.

The testosterone is radiating from him to the point of near suffocation, you can taste the alpha in the air. Your heart slams in your chest at the unspoken claim he just made with a subtle movement, and though you’ve never been one for masculine displays, this one weirdly feels… good right now. You know it’s primitive and crude and you’re not a piece of meat to be fought over, but it doesn’t feel like that at all. It’s the immediate feeling of security that serves to heat your cheeks, the fact that you’ve been a nervous mess trying to be extra brave this whole interaction and then suddenly you have the backup of an entire army contained within one single suit of armor next to you.

If you weren’t internally panicking at how badly you screwed this shit up, you’d probably be going fucking feral for him right now.

Karga says your name and your gaze snaps to his, feeling like you can’t breathe. “My associate has collected the plaques, nothing keeps you here any longer. It was a pleasure doing business with you.”

Still, nobody at the table moves.

After a moment, you carefully glance up and to the side at the sharp, metallic profile of his helmet. Maker, you can’t explain it—it’s like you feel terrified but not really for yourself, if that makes sense. You’re upset with yourself for not having enough trust in his word, absolutely, but something in Din’s demeanor tells you that he’s going to be considerably less understanding of how Karga handled this situation than the way you did.

The helmet slowly turns down to look at you, and you bite your lip while carefully placing your hand on his thigh brace under the table, letting him feel your fingers brush against the bend of his knee.

He turns back to Karga after a few seconds, still not saying a single word, until eventually Din’s arm is lifted from behind your shoulders and you feel his leather fingers gently clasp your hand, before he starts to rise from the booth and pull you along next to him. You both stand, and he silently presses a button on his vambrace without dropping your grip, urging the kid’s shield to follow along behind him.

“Um, goodbye,” you just barely remember to tell Karga as Din begins leading you away, apparently not waiting for the polite farewells he arrived in time for.

“Wait!” A voice calls out just before you can make your exit, and Din pauses just in time for Karga to extend that damned fifth puck out for you to grab. Right in fucking front of him. “Can’t forget this!”

Fuck. Great. Thanks.

Blood rushes to your face while you go to reach for it, taking the puck and then placing it in the open shield along with four others in a way that you hope is casual but you know isn’t. You close the lid on it and then squeeze Din’s hand slightly, but he stays rooted to the spot for a few more seconds, having watched the entire exchange play out. Though you obviously wouldn’t be able to read his facial expressions even if you could lift your head to look up at him, you can’t will yourself to do so right now. You’re too disappointed in yourself and nervous—you just stand there silently as he looks back at Karga, staring at your feet and praying he doesn’t do anything brash.

After too many moments of uncertainty, you squeeze his hand again and slowly begin to pull on it. Without needing much pressure at all, he goes where you go, and you end up being the one to lead Din out of the cantina by the hand still tangled with yours.

***

The walk back to the Crest lasts an eternity.

Neither one of you say anything at all to each other the entire way there, and you know he’s not mad at you yet, but you’re worried. You feel incredibly self-critical right now and it’s really not helping that he seems even quieter and more wound up than usual. You don’t know if it’s because he already figured out that you just handed him extra work or if it’s because whatever made him late to the cantina also altered his mood, hit a reset button and reminded him of the way he used to be, the armor he’s wearing. Was there a confrontation, you wonder? Is he okay? He seems like he’s… extra Mandalorian right now, there’s not really a better way to describe it.

He doesn’t drop your hand, though. As you pass through the markets and shanty huts lining the streets, Din holds onto you. Shoulders tense and strides heavy, but his fingers stay tangled in yours.

Regardless, you keep your mouth shut and eventually the Crest comes into view. The ramp drops to the ground and the three of you make your way up, and you have enough foresight to carefully drop Din’s hand and lead the baby’s shield over to the unused cot built into the hull walls, closing him in a safe quiet place to sleep and continue building up his strength again.

You turn around to see Din press another button on his vambrace. He stays with his back to you as the ramp slowly closes, but as soon as it latches up against the hull and locks into place, he nearly whips around and suddenly he’s right in front of you, gloves cupping your face.

“What happened?” He asks sharply, the helmet looking you up and down. “Are you alright? Why did you look so scared?”

You reach up to rest your hands on his, blinking up at him and not knowing what to say. How are you going to tell him? He’s gotta waste extra fuel and time on a bullshit quarry because of you, what are you going to say? You don’t even know if it’s last known location is nearby; he might have to fly to some remote, desolate corner of the galaxy just for a handful of credits because you couldn’t wait a fucking hour for him.

“I, uh… I-I’m sorry, I just…” But it’s nearly impossible to form a coherent thought when he’s this close to you and sounding fucking sincere, genuinely concerned about you while you’re stuck worrying about how to break the bad news to him. “Oh, stars, um…”

“Did Karga fuck with you?” He asks in that same sharp tone when you don’t finish your thought, but you’re so absorbed in your own conflict that you barely even hear him. “Because I can go back right now, the cantina is just—”

“Okay wait, please—” You suddenly speak up, “before I tell you, just… please keep in mind that I did save your life two days ago, so…”

“Sweet girl,” Din rumbles slowly, a subtle warning for you to hurry up and spit it out. His fingers tighten just slightly on your cheeks, still so gentle but needing you to communicate with him right now.

Tell him, you just need to tell him. If he gets mad, then he gets mad, but at least he’ll know at that point and you won’t just be springing it on him out of nowhere.

“I fucked up,” you breathe out, eyebrows pulling up in the middle as you tighten your own grip on his hands. “I’m so sorry, I fucked up and you were late and I got nervous and I didn’t wait long enough and I tried to make the exchange like you asked me to but then I had to take a fifth puck and I didn’t want to but Karga threatened to short change you next time around unless I agreed to take an extra one for the lowest pay just this once and I didn’t have any bargaining power and you showed up right after I agreed to the deal and I’m so so sorry—”

You cut yourself off with your own ragged gasp, not having paused once to breathe throughout the entire thing while your expression twisted up with regret more and more the longer he allowed you to speak.

Din stands there in front of you and doesn’t move, hands still attached to your face.

“Okay,” he eventually tells you. Stunted words, like he’s trying extra hard to find them when yours just fell out of your mouth in a complete mess. “It’s okay. You did… good.”

The silence is tense and you’re becoming more and more anxious the longer he takes to speak. He’s lying for your benefit, he must be. When he drops his hands from your face and takes a full step back, you take the gesture as symbolic and nearly launch into panic.

“Maker, I’m so sorry I didn’t wait for—” You start to say, but Din cuts you off.

“Did he make you…” His back suddenly goes a little straighter, voice finding a quiet edge through the modulator as his fingers subtly twitch at his sides, “…Uncomfortable?”

You pull back at the sudden change in subject and furrow your eyebrows.

“Who, Karga?” You have to think about it. Did he make you uncomfortable, or were you just uncomfortable already? You might’ve just been scared because you were making it scarier than it really was, you can admit that’s a valid possibility. “Um… no? I don’t know, not… not really, I don’t think.”

“No?” He asks, taking a small step forward. “You don’t know? Or not really… you don’t think?”

You know you can only see the blade of his visor, but something makes you feel like you’re looking right in his eyes. You even go back and forth between where you’re pretty confident each one is, trying to read his intentions right now. It’s like he’s purposefully trying to keep space between you even though he looks like he wants to move closer, fisting his hands at his sides when he looks like he wants to touch you.

“No, he just… lowballed me towards the end of it and I got intimidated, but I’m also not…” Your expression narrows in concentration while you try to find the words to explain yourself, wanting to be as honest as possible with him. “I don’t know, I’m not like you. I’m not that strong, but I’m trying to get better. I think he was probably just being normal. He did offer me alcohol a bunch, but I’m pretty sure he also did that last time, so—”

“And I didn’t like it the last time he did it,” Din says quietly, taking another small step forward.

You blink up at him, completely dumb. This is what’s bothering him? Is he really not upset with you at all for giving him more work? It’s like the major fuckup on your behalf just went in one side of the helmet and out the other, he barely even acknowledged it other than the role Karga played. He said it’s okay and you did good, which are like… five of the most common words in Galactic Basic, a Wookiee could probably find a way to say them. How are you supposed to take that? Were you just overthinking this whole thing from the very beginning? You know anxiety tends to be irrational by definition, but has none of your panic from the past hour been justified whatsoever?

“Why were you so late?” You ask him, but it’s not accusatory in the slightest. It’s… concerned, worried about his well-being without having a real reason. He’s clearly more than fine right now, he’s like a hurricane enclosed in metal and holding still in front of you. Too much potential energy just waiting for a reason to be released, too much tension held tight and ready to snap.

“I’m sorry.” He quickly reaches out to grab your hand and squeeze it, before dropping it just as quickly. Fucking lightning quick, you’ll never understand how he can be so damn quick with all that extra weight strapped to him. “It took longer than I thought it would and she’s not really someone you can rush.” His response, ironically, feels very rushed, like he’s trying to address the tangent but also keep things on track, but something in the answer he gives catches your direct attention. “Did he flirt with you?”

“Who is she and what can’t be rushed?” You blurt at the same time, not even taking a split second to think about it.

Din stops short at the blunt question, staring at you in a silence that feels like it’s vaguely taken aback.

After a few moments of that… strangeness, of the two of you realizing that you’re both feeling slightly possessive over each other for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you start to feel… warm. In another weirdly stupid, primitive way. You know that letting those kinds of thoughts have their day in a relationship isn’t a good thing, but you can’t explain it. Some deep-seated, prehistoric instinct inside you just goes fucking nuts whenever he gets in either provider or protector mode. Now you understand exactly why he wanted to get you alone after you admitted to being jealous once before. You totally fucking get it, you’re right there with him right now. He hasn’t said anything, but you think he feels it, too.

“She makes things,” Din finally answers you, careful with his words and somehow managing to address your question while also sidestepping it, leaving you with only the smallest bit of information to go off of. “Did he flirt with you?”

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. “Maybe. He could’ve just been trying to be friendly. What did she make for you?”

“She made it for you,” he responds, again not really answering the question but continuing to juggle two separate conversations for your benefit. “Did he scare you?”

“For me?” You ask, eyebrows shooting upwards. Provider, that stupid cavewoman DNA whispers to your lower body, making your voice go a little breathless. “You asked her to make something for me?”

“Did he scare you?” Din repeats sternly, grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze. “Because I can go back, I swear—”

Protector, it whispers this time, and your knees nearly buckle.

“Everything is scary when I don’t know where you are,” you admit to him, knowing it’s the truth regardless of how self-deprecating it sounds. The only times you’ve ever truly been brave was because of him or the kid. Stabbing a Corellian and then immediately flying the Crest out to him afterwards, walking through a pitch black forest believing a dangerous criminal was hiding in it, dragging a dead body through snow and shoving it into carbonite, standing up for yourself and pushing a deal through when odds were stacked against you. Though it’s nothing to him, it’s nothing, it’s leaps for you. You’re slowly learning to find a backbone, and he’s the one inspiring it.

Din holds there for a moment, unmoving with his hand still clutching yours. You can’t get a read on him but you know how you feel right now. Achy. Hot. Needy. Wanting him to come closer.

“Will you do something for me?” He asks you after a prolonged silence. His voice is quiet, but… incredibly restrained. Controlled chaos—his body is rigid and he’s flexing muscles that aren’t necessary for just standing, feeling like a sprinter holding still on the starting blocks.

“Of course,” you breathe out.

Din lets go of your hand and tilts his helmet over at the corner of the hull behind you. “Go turn around and face that wall.”

You freeze, immediately recognizing the undertone in his voice. Heat ladles deep into the pit of your tummy, sends warmth pooling downwards. He wants to do this here? Right now?

“We’re—” you look around the enclosed hull, “Mando, we’re not in hyperspace, we haven’t even left the surface yet…”

He looks around too, taking a second to blankly take in his stagnant surroundings like he had absolutely fucking no idea, before turning back to you and not saying a word. Maker, everything below your waist is already stirring, twisting hot and deep inside, but you’re trying to be the voice of reason for a second.

“What if somebody hears us?” You whisper, and Din cocks his head to the other side.

“I can help you stay quiet,” he murmurs, and… fuck. You don’t know what it means, but you immediately imagine his hand held tight over your mouth while he takes some of this stress out on you and you already feel yourself wilting at the thought. Okay.

“Okay,” you breathe without needing anything else at all, before spinning around and standing exactly where he told you to. It’s just a corner near the back of the hull, nothing else here to look at besides two metal panels meeting at a right angle, but that’s admittedly what makes your heart start beating quicker. You can’t see him come up behind you but you can feel it. Slow, measured, but so restrained.

But then he stops almost immediately, before the back of your shirt is suddenly being yanked upwards and you remember at the very last second.

Din carefully grips his blaster and then eases it out of your waistband, the metal sliding warm along your skin from pressing against it for so long. You never told him you took it with you, and he’s so fucking quiet behind you. You have no idea how he’s reacting to that piece of information you originally didn’t think twice about.

“Do you like carrying my gun around?” Din’s voice murmurs soft through the modulator to you, but then the blaster is tossed uselessly to the side, skittering loudly across the floor of the hull.

“Yes,” you reply, beginning to shyly turn your head back to look at him, hoping to gauge his response.

“Don’t turn around,” he quickly interrupts you, pushing your shoulder back into position and keeping you facing the corner. You blink at the metal walls in a bit of a daze but follow instructions regardless, feeling your heart pound at the sudden display of dominance from him. He has a very valid reason for it and you don’t realize what it is until a few seconds later, but even if he didn’t and he was just telling you what to do for the fun of it… you’d still like it.

But then his helmet is carefully being lowered over your head and you shudder as your vision is replaced with a familiar black abyss. Fuck, his helmet, why does he like it so much when you wear this? Admittedly, you don’t have much time to contemplate—as soon as it’s fitted and secure, he spins you around and you have to just do your best to maintain your balance, not having any visual to help.

“Can you hear me?” Din asks, and your clothes start to be ripped off of you. Your shoulders tip sideways with how quick he is about it, feeling him pull the fabric off and hearing the soft sound it makes landing on the floor.

“Yes,” you tell him, but he doesn’t respond, continuing to strip you completely naked in the hull. Once your upper body is bare and he’s yanking your pants and underwear down your legs, you try saying it again as you step out of them, louder for him this time.

“I can’t hear you,” his voice grunts after a moment. You know he’s in front of you but you can’t really tell where, now that he’s not touching you. “Scream.”

You take a second, not having hard evidence anymore but still very well aware that you’re parked close to a marketplace on Nevarro and multiple people are nearby while you’re wearing his helmet. This is dangerous for him, and not sure if you should, but then an arm is wrapping around your back and a large leather palm rests directly over your chest. Din repeats his last word very slowly and clearly for you, waiting to feel it under his hands.

Your sternum lifts while it rises with your deep breath and then collapses as you diligently yell as loud as you can into the helmet, feeling like you might deafen yourself with the trapped sound.

“Good,” he growls, suddenly spinning you around and pushing you back into the metal paneling. “I can’t hear you, be as loud as you need. Hit me or something, put up a fight if you want me to stop, alright?”

Arousal rockets through you and you let out a moan already, taking advantage of the noise suppression and beyond turned on at this point. You feel like you’re buzzing with it, lit up with excitement and wondering with bated breath what he’s planning to do to you.

“Alright?” Comes his voice from behind you once more, and you quickly jerk the heavy helmet in a nod for him. You can put up a fight and you know he’ll stop, you don’t have any problem with that and the fact that he specifically made sure to wait until he knew you understood him makes you start to pant inside the hollow beskar.

But then you feel him flick a small switch at the base of the helmet and then everything abruptly cuts out and goes dead silent.

Nothing. Nothing. You’re standing in a pitch black room where no other sound exists besides your own labored breathing. Just like the waterfall on Naboo, but you can’t speak this time. Temporarily making you blind, deaf, and putting a proverbial gag over your mouth all with one powerful piece of armor.

You shudder and he kicks your legs apart before you can do much else, yanking your hips back while you just try your best to cling to the wall for stability. You don’t know what he’s going to do, you’re completely isolated in here and the only way you can even tell he dropped to his knees is the hot glide of his tongue through your pussy from behind.

Oh fuck—you arch into position as best you can while hands wrap around your ankles to pull them apart, trying to make the angle better. His tongue licks softly over your clit and each time is like an electric shock jolting through your body, making you twitch back and up for him, stretching and begging him to do it again. You can’t see anything right now so your mind readily imagines the visuals instead, providing you with a third party view. Din, fully clothed and face shielded by your thighs, eating you out from behind while you brace yourself against the wall, completely naked and at his mercy, head tilted down from the weight of his helmet and living for the moments he decides to drag his tongue across your clit.

Without warning, a sudden burst of sensation ripples along your backside and causes you to lift the beskar in surprise, but without being able to hear anything, it takes you a second to figure out that he just smacked your ass. The realization comes more or less at the exact time he decides to flatten his tongue and follow the curve of you back and up.

You gasp into the pitch black and there’s a moment where you just hold utterly still for him, experiencing and processing the sensation for the very first time. His mouth is soft and warm as he tastes you here, his fingers digging into the swell of your cheeks to spread you open. You’re glad your face is hidden so he can’t see the shock in your expression, the way your mouth drops and your eyes close as you let him explore you this way.

His gloved hands leave you for just a moment while he continues gliding his tongue against you, along every single bit of skin he can reach, and then you feel a bare hand reach up between your legs and begin to rub slow circles around your clit. His other arm pushes against your lower back and you’re forced into the corner even more, your naked breasts pressing hard against cool metal and feeling his hot mouth and strong fingers work you closer to the edge from behind.

You’re panting into the helmet, your hips arching back to feel that stimulation on your clit better, and as his fingers move over it slow and strong, you feel a soft vibration against your skin and you realize he’s moaning into you. The knowledge sparks a different kind of heat through you and makes you suddenly go still and tense right here. If he stays just like this for even just a few more seconds, you’re going to cum.

“Din, I’m gonna cum,” your voice warbles inside the enclosed steel—just as his touch decides to abandon your body. You groan loudly in distress, completely alone without his hands or mouth on you anymore, but all he likely hears is the silence of the hull and the way your palm smacks against the wall with it. You were so close, everything feels like it’s pulled up so tight and painful and it hurts—

A hand clutches your hip and then a thick cock is suddenly pushing up against your soaking wet entrance, going to alleviate that twisting discomfort. Your eyes roll back and your whole body goes limp as he slowly eases forward and breaks you open, fitting himself deep inside where you love to feel him most. Your hands claw down the walls with a swell of bliss as he pulls out and then starts thrusting—and fuck, you love this. You love the way he’s trapping you up against the corner and making you see stars at the same time, the way he’s supporting your weight but crushing down into you, too. It makes you go boneless and want to riot simultaneously, groaning loud into the quiet abyss as he gives you what you both desperately needed.

One of his hands sinks down between your legs to play with your clit again, while a slick finger presses up against your ass and you gasp as he slowly penetrates you there, too. Din’s hips work steady and powerful behind you, pushing you into the wall with every desperate thrust, using the arm shoved between your legs to support you as well as stimulate, and you just feel yourself move into a different place. You don’t have a name for it but it feels like hyperspace. Silence so loud it feels suppressing, faster than anything light can touch, nowhere and everywhere, hurtling towards something you can’t see but know lies in the distance. You can tell he’s still fucking the tension out of his body, you can feel him working another wet finger inside you and stretching the virgin muscles back there, but every sensation begins to slowly blur together in a wicked uprising of ecstasy.

You don’t know where you are anymore, just that his fingers keep rubbing your clit and you think he's trying to ease a third into you when your destination abruptly arrives.

You nearly collapse when you cum, contracting so hard around his cock and fingers that you cry out unexpectedly—and because of the helmet, you think it’s just as unexpected for him. He stops moving—everything stops moving besides you. Your hips stutter backwards into his stationary body, dragging your clit back and forth against the tips of his unmoving fingers and fucking him as best you can. It shatters white hot and goes straight through to your soul, wringing pleasure and wetness between your legs in waves.

Your knees are knocking against each other when Din pulls out, his cock still deliciously hard and now soaking wet with your cum, and then they just suddenly decide to give up without warning. You don’t fall necessarily, but you do slowly slide down the wall like a slug and Din follows you to the floor instead of holding you up any longer. His sternum moves quick and heavy against your back as he breathes and then suddenly the same switch at the base of his helmet is flicked, and sound bursts into existence all at once.

He’s panting. Harsh breaths behind you that match the rapid pace of his chest, and the ambient noise of the rest of the hull.

“Can you hear me?” He gasps, sounding fucking wrecked, and you nod the helmet against the wall while gravity and exhaustion and his beskar chestplate squishes you into it. “P-Put up a fight if you want me t-to stop, p-please—” he rasps out, almost the entire thing air and so close to cumming, and then his knees lift just slightly and the blunt head of his cock presses against your other entrance.

And, if you wanted, you absolutely could. He’s got you boxed into the corner but he’s not constricting your movements, he’s given you every ability to struggle. You could easily throw an elbow back against his side, push against the wall to shove him away, smack at his arms or even just flail against his body in panic—you could do one or all of those things to signal him to stop and you know he’d do it immediately, he’s asking you to. You could struggle. If you wanted.

Instead, you just grab hold of the beskar strapped to his thigh and drop the helmet to your chest, nearly vibrating with the thrill and preparing yourself for it. You know he’s gotta be inches away from orgasm, you know from the tone of his voice that he’s right there on the edge and it’s not like it’s going to last a long time. Thanks to him, you also feel like you’re just as slick and wet back there as you are between your legs, stretched open by his fingers while you came all over him. You want nothing more than to give this to him, to let him be the only person in the universe that knows how you feel this way.

When you pointedly do not put up a fight and even go so far as to arch your lower back for him in presentation, Din curses and his fingers begin jerking back and forth over your sensitive clit once more. It might normally be too much for you, but your body is sparking with lust and quickly acclimates to the stimulation, learning to burn and ache for it, too. Fuck, it feels so good, you tense and melt into it at the same time, letting him ease you back up to that peak once more.

He pushes up against the tight ring of skin and you can’t fucking explain it—his fingers keep rubbing your clit and he’s slowly pushing into your ass and—

“I—I think I’m—” you suddenly lift the helmet to gasp out in surprise, forgetting he can’t hear you, “ngh—D-Din, I think I’m gonna c—”

He’s just barely able to breach the tight entrance and fit the head inside before he freezes—and even though everything happens consecutively, it’s all so rapid that it feels simultaneous.

Your hips could go forward, but they don’t. Your body decides to send you backwards into him, pushing him inside nearly halfway all at once as your muscles lock down and just fucking strangle his cock. Your piercing scream gets trapped in the silence of his helmet as you cum once more—painfully, madly and with every fucking part of you for him. There’s maybe one or two mind shattering pulses of ecstasy before the rest of your body catches up and starts convulsing, and by then Din is already gasping and fumbling behind you, suddenly realizing what’s happening without hearing the sound of your ragged warnings and then ripping himself away just in time.

He punches out your name when he cums like you just fucking snapped him in half—his body hunches and the beskar digs hard into your back as warmth starts splattering along your skin. You crumple while he shoves his hips up against your spine, riding and working the orgasm out of himself while yours just fucking obliterates you. You think you whine his name—or a curse word or something, but it gets strained and your lungs lose air every time his powerful armored body humps you into the wall of his ship.

Finally he eases up and you just lay there and listen to the ringing in your ears. Blissfully empty, still pulsing from cumming so hard and feeling like your bones just decided to stop existing and the rest of you was okay with it since you were already on the floor anyways. You feel him shudder and twitch behind you, letting go of that last bit of tension until he too allows gravity to slouch his heavy torso over onto you.

You both stay like that for a while, until your eyes close and your everything below your waist goes numb. Eventually you feel him shift and your head bobbles as the helmet is slowly removed, but a large palm cradles your chin to stop your face from slamming into the wall in exhaustion once it’s off. You just continue to melt into the paneling like you’re nothing more than goo of a human being while he trades it back to its rightful place on his shoulders and tucks his cock back into his pants, before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you both up. The floor and metal walls, once feeling like you and them were one, suddenly decide to disappear entirely as you’re hauled up into Din’s powerful arms.

He slowly carries your naked, fucked senseless body over to the fresher, and you squint your eyes open over his shoulder to see… he’s still got his rifle slung around his back while his cum is dripping down yours. Not a single thing on him is out of place and you’re, well… a mess is a word that works. Limp and doll-like, carried like your weight is practically nothing to him after years of having the densest armor known to the galaxy strapped to his body.

Setting you down is a mess, too. At some point you think he just gives up and decides to return you to your humble floor abode with a patience and care unexpected from someone who just defiled you so thoroughly. You hear the fresher door open and the faucet squeak, before he turns back around and crouches to your level.

“Stay here,” Din tells you lowly, his modulated voice coming gentle and warm through the sounds of water raining down against metal. You don’t feel his touch directly, but your hair moves away from your face. “I’ll be right back, okay—just stay here.”

Can do. Easy. He waits until you murmur a soft mhm to him before he leaves the tiny compartment, and then you soon hear his heavy footsteps ascending the ladder to the cockpit.

***

You don’t think you fall asleep, but the powering up of the Crest’s thrusters make you realize your eyes were closed. Opening them barely qualifies as a squint though; you look around to see steam slowly filling the fresher, the water already running hot and welcoming in the small room.

You know you need to shower but you’re so fucking exhausted, you feel like you can’t even move your body. You also know you can just do the same exact thing in there as you’re doing in here, you just need to muster up the energy necessary to get inside it and then fall back asleep. He set you down in the small little space outside the shower door and then got everything set up for you, you can at least stand up and take a few steps.

Unfortunately, you might pick just about the worst time possible to plant your hands on the ground and work to struggle upright on all fours like a newborn animal. The steady rise through Nevarro’s atmosphere pushes gravity down harder than you’re expecting—is he trying to fly quickly or are you just that dead-limbed?—and then of course, by the time you do manage to fight it and successfully get on two wobbly legs to hold yourself up, the subtle shift of the hyperdrive kicking in nearly knocks you back down again. You stumble and grab the walls, bracing yourself against them and looking down at your knees in exasperation. Come on, work. Move forward. Come on.

You’re glad he’s not here to witness this monstrosity, honestly. Just opening the door and taking a few steps into the fresher is a feat—while you’re not in any pain and he didn’t leave any marks on you, you just feel… steamrolled. Ran over by a truck. Only having the strength to keep your feet beneath you as you finally move under the water and close the door behind you.

Oh, but this is wonderful. This was such a good idea, he’s so fucking smart. The shower falls warm and lovely against your body, wetting your hair and immediately heating you down to your bones. You don’t move really at all—you kinda just stand there and slouch, closing your eyes against the spray and slowly breathing the mist into your lungs. It feels so nice—not really restorative even though you like that word, it would imply the water provides you with any energy whatsoever. It just feels like a comfort, a relief and sedative for your already wildly fatigued body.

You haven’t been in here for more than a minute or two when knuckles tap gently against the metal walls of the fresher, before the natural bass of Din’s unmodulated voice murmurs from somewhere beyond it. “Hey. Keep your eyes closed.”

How did he know? You figured you’d be way ahead of him. You’re standing but slumped over, wanting nothing more than to just say fuck gravity and pass out right here. The walls are too cold to lean against now that you’re all toasty from the heat and steam, so you’re just unconsciously swaying on your feet, trying to balance the precedence of sleeping versus not falling over. You don’t even comprehend the sudden flip of the light switch overhead beyond the fact that it makes it easier to snooze without being so bright behind your eyelids.

The door eventually opens at the very same time you realize you never answered him, but you just commit to the silence at this point. It’s easy, you like it. Soon you feel warm hands touch your shoulders, slowly spinning you around while you follow and hang your head, your neck not wanting to support it any longer, and then suddenly a bare chest is pressing up against you and powerful arms are wrapping around your body, and you can just lean all of your weight into him while your head rests right here on his shoulder.

He holds you without moving for a long time, keeping you just like this—your ear pressed against his skin while water rains hot and comfortable down your back. Knowing you’re facing one of the walls, you crack your heavy lids just the slightest bit and finally notice the tiny compartment is dim and shrouded—the only light source is a single one coming from somewhere in the hull beyond the partially closed doorway. It’s dark and quiet and you can barely see anything besides the metallic fresher walls and unfocused droplets chasing each other down Din’s naked skin. Just you and him, flowing water with a sheet metal backdrop.

You think you spend an eternity like that and yet you still find yourself wanting another when he finally shifts, reaching over you to grab a bar of his generic soap but making sure to use the arm whose shoulder you’re not currently resting against.

It glides slow and hypnotic down your back, dragging up over your sides and then back down the curve of your spine. He’s so sturdy and he doesn’t say a word while he does it, lathering it along your body and rubbing it into your skin. His bar of soap, not yours. They started out almost the same since you picked them up at the same vendor, but there’s just a slightly bolder and sharper scent to his that you recognize. How the bar is far larger than yours because of how often he’s gone away.

Your eyes droop and you feel the water trail over your lips, dripping down your chin and pooling the dip of his collarbone. The only other time you two shared this fresher was terrifying and he’s rewriting the memories right now, whether consciously or not. Hot water, not freezing cold. Standing upright and supporting you. Heart beating strong under your ear, taking care of you this time until you can care for yourself.

You… you just worry so much more now, it’s becoming an issue. You didn’t realize how much until you nearly lost him, and you know in your heart that he’s just going to go away again. Throw himself into more danger, tempt death as always, risk his life for mere credits while all you can provide in return is this. Skin to skin contact. Someone to hold. Someone who knows him, who knows the way he struggles between reaching out for a softness that life has always denied him and clinging to what is rough and familiar. Someone to remind him that there’s still gentle and forgiving things in this galaxy that won’t disappear when he’s gone, and that he can always come home to them, as long as he can manage to find his way back.

Something sad tugs hard at your chest. You want to tell him not to leave. Again, again—you want nothing more than to beg him to stay. You don’t have anything better to offer instead; if he asked you how it would work, how you imagine your lives would go if he wasn’t hunting quarry on a constant timetable, you’d be hard-pressed. You don’t know. But you know what you want to say, because it’s two words you shouldn’t say but always find yourself needing to say regardless.

Don’t go.

But, instead of two words, you give him three.

Instead of asking him not to leave you again… in the haze and comfort of his arms, you think you just tell him that you love him.

And… you also don’t think the water falling down on the two of you is loud enough to cover it up this time.

It’s not ideal, you know. You know. From his point of view, he just got finished releasing all sorts of pent up tension on you, overwhelming your body with the strength and power of his in a way that normal people wouldn’t take as an expression of affection. But you know him. You know that he finds it much easier to express the things he feels in a physical way, which is why there’s a bar of soap against your back right now instead of his voice in your ear, telling you all the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him in return. You know that sex is how this all began and it’s likely just the closest link between roughness and sweetness that he can really put his hands on, something that can fit him equally as well as it fits you. Love is different, it’s thrilling and scary. Even to someone like him, who lives everyday of his life surrounded by thrilling and scary things, who’s seen more bloodshed and suffering and pain than you can ever even imagine, you know that it’s scary.

Din doesn’t say anything back to your confession, and truthfully, not a single part of you was expecting him to. It wasn’t said so he could say it back. It just is. Some things don’t need explanations, they just are. You’re okay with that.

But, you eventually come to realize that he always waits until you’re just on the very edges of sleep, holding out until your blurry vision and fading consciousness can trick you into thinking you only imagined it. You won’t ever figure out if it’s purposeful or if he just needs that long to find what he wants to say.

Another soft, lilting sentence in a language you wouldn’t be able to translate, even if you could pick out a single word. It sounds so beautiful though, regardless of how mysterious and far away its meaning feels. There’s something hidden underneath. You ache to know what it is.

But you’re so tired. You just whine softly against his shoulder, not being able to transform the thoughts into sentences anymore but hoping he understands regardless. He can’t just resort to bearing his soul in Mando’a all the time now, especially when you’re always on the verge of sleep when he chooses to do so.

But at some point, his arms subtly tighten around you and the pressure is one of the only things that’s keeping you awake anymore.

“I won’t ever ask you to,” he says to you, the quietness of his baritone getting lost in the gentle spray and your looming slumber. “I’m… not allowed to ask. I can’t.”

Your expression twitches just the slightest bit against his shoulder in confusion, wondering distantly what word or sentence you must’ve missed from before that would make him make sense. Was that a translation? Or a continuation?

But then your wet hair is slowly moved away from your nape and his head tilts down, face pressing into your neck and voice lowering until it’s nothing more than a breath against your skin, nothing more than a confession that he couldn’t ever say out loud with his full chest. It’s a secret he only ever wants you to know, a truth he’s choosing to admit to even though you could ruin him with it. You have no idea how much, you won’t know for a long time just how much power he’s giving you by telling you this one very simple thing.

“But whenever you want to look,” Din finally whispers, the only version of I love you too that a Mandalorian knows. “You can.”

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin #fanfic #reader-insert #rough day #no-droids #smut

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bestiesenpai · 3 years

Text

kissing headcanons

I’m doing kissing headcanons for all the grown folk, so Nanami, Mahito, Choso, Geto, Gojo and Sukuna

Nanami

He kisses you as a start to his day, if he doesn’t kiss you in the morning he knows the day will not be a good one

Literally it doesn’t matter if you’re awake or not he has to smooch or else the day is already ruined. Also if you’re (somehow) leaving for work before him he expects you to wake him up for a quick smooch

Kisses you on your forehead when you’re around other people/in public, he doesn’t like overt shows of public affection but he knows you like it(at least a little bit), and he wants you to feel loved in public as much as behind closed doors

He doesn’t use lip balm a lot but his lips aren’t super dry, just a typical crusty man mouth here lmao

When he kisses you he likes to be holding some part of you, whether that’s the back of your head or your shoulder, he just wants to make sure you’re not going anywhere :)

Smiles after kissing you and it’s the softest thing ever cuz you can see the mini hearts in his eyes

Gojo

First off this man does not and will not have dry lips that is a crime punishable by death, he uses carmex religiously

He doesn’t have a favorite spot to kiss, it’s all over with him, your cheeks, forehead, lips, wherever

He also doesn’t care about being gross in public and will try to makeout with you in a public park in broad daylight(ew)

His favorite kisses are when you kiss his jawline or right by his ear, they make him grin like a fool and blush a little

A tease, he likes to hear you whine for a kiss but hey it’s a two way street and he is not above begging to get a kiss from you lol

It always feels like your first kiss when you’re kissing Gojo, he’s always excited to kiss you!

Geto

If Nanami kisses you to start his day, Geto kisses you to end his day

A long day of being evil is tiring work! He’ll fall into bed with you, pull you face to face with him and lazily kiss your lips until he’s satisfied

Is a little stingy with his kisses and won’t be crazy like Gojo, he’s more reserved in public and will kiss the back of your hand or your cheek softly

He likes to rub his nose against yours before he kisses you

Likes to loop your fingers together softly when he kisses, and it’s also a signal that he wants a kiss

When he wants to tease you he’ll kiss you really softly and make you seem like the desperate one for kissing him harder

Mahito

He is an excited puppy everytime he gets to kiss you, constantly hitting you in the nose or his teeth knock into yours

He doesn’t understand that he can’t/shouldn’t kiss you during certain moments, like in serious meetings lol so you constantly have to push his face away so you can focus on important things

Is truthfully very inexperienced when it comes to kissing and stuff so he ends up missing your mouth a lot

Bites your lip because he knows its sexy but ends up bruising you lmao because he does it too hard

Love love loves flavored lip balm or if you wear thick gloss(fentyyyy baby) he likes how it makes your lips feel and it leaves a shiny mark he can boast about later

His favorite kisses are when you kiss him all over his face and hold the back of his head, he gets all giggly and tries to kiss you back too

Choso

You’d think this man would reject kisses but oh no they’re on his mind quite a lot

He enjoys kissing you during quiet times, like during a warm sleepy afternoon with some hot tea

Kisses the back of your hand first and then asks quietly if he can kiss you on the lips

Opposite to Mahito he doesn’t like when you wear thicc lipgloss or anything like that, but if you wear lipstick and kiss his cheek he’ll look fondly at the imprint of your lips before he rubs it off

His lips are almost criminally dry which is a joke because he doesn’t like lip balm, his lips bleed a lot you have to apply vaseline on his lips when he’s sleeping like a damn baby

If he gets caught kissing you he will push his head into your shoulder and swear lol he hates being caught like that

Sukuna

He rarely asks for a kiss, he always just goes for it and kisses you if he wants to

If it’s the right time he’ll try to turn it into a makeout session, he is criminally horny and will also try to grab your butt

His favorite kind of kiss is on your neck, scraping his teeth against your neck - really it’s closer to biting than kissing lol

He loves when you wear colorful lipstick because there’s something about seeing the print of your lips all over his skin that just gets him going(he might even get a tattoo of your lips on his neck)

In public he’ll try to control it and give you brief kisses on the lips but if there’s someone that’s annoying him he’ll grab your face and makeout with you and leave both you and him breathless

Also is like Mahito and loves ms fenty lip gloss, it’s almost an oral fixation with your mouth at that point

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #mahito #nanami kento #geto suguru #choso #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen imagines #ryomen sukuna

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blueprint-han · 3 years

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[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content:

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face.

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags.

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful.

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others.

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers.

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY. A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health.

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused and @scriptura-delirus . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners.

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