#they’re the most guilty of this type of shit

[locrianking]

there’s a lot of scummy shit going around in the car industry right now, but i think some of the most nauseating shit is car features requiring subscriptions.

cars are not fucking video games or streaming services. they are transportation devices. if the car has a self-tracking feature, or heated seats, or a HUD, then it is built into the car. there is NO REASON to put it behind a paywall lther than companies trying to suck their customer’s wallets dry.

it is becoming more and more clear that automotive companies are caring more about profit margins than they care about providing their customers with safe, comfortable vehicles. and their concerns about a “pleasant driving experience” died out long ago

[midnightorchids]

Hellloooo- the only thing I wanted to say about Jason Todd is that he is probably actually really playful and fun to be around. Like it's not too much because homeboy is traumatized but is still one of the most playful in the batfam

Like even in his evil voiceless as red hood there were still some playfulness in his tone,I sincerely believe he is more laid back and chill then dick Grayson.

No because this is so true, Jason is definitely super fun and playful!!

Also, this just inspired me to make a little list of silly!Jason headcanons, I hope you like them! Enjoy!

- jason is a pretty serious guy when you first meet him, but he’s actually really funny! i think his humour is very dead pan and sarcasm heavy, but he laughs at most things lol

- sometimes, he makes dad jokes and they’re honestly so bad that they’re kinda funny

- i’ve said this before, but i’ll say it again! he definitely uses humour to cope and he makes a lot of death jokes or he just simply says “kill me again” at every minor inconvenience (real)

- he’s really easy to get along with because he’s super laid back and chill

- he also has nicknames for most people (and things) and they’re really dumb, when he uses people’s actual names they’re like oh shit because that means he’s angry

- he has a really contagious laugh, it’s deep and attractive

- BUT sometimes it’s so stupid, like he’s giggling so hard, clutching his sides and hitting people (im guilty of this) and it’s like bro is it really that funny LMAO

- also when he does this type of laugh it’s usually funnier than the joke

- oh and he definitely struggles to get out a joke if he thinks it’s funny, he’s laughing so hard before getting to the punchline and you’re just staring at him like man finish the sentence please

- i genuinely think he makes commentary when he’s fighting someone on patrol

- he’s very chatty once you get know him

- his voice gets a little higher pitched when he talks to kids and animals, he baby talks to cats (but only when no one is around)

- also cat memes.

[nayatarot777]

What Are Your Future Spouse’s Pet Peeves?

• Pile One •

The first pet peeve that your future spouse has is people underestimating their power - or other people’s power. You know when someone views you as someone who’s weak and defenceless? They can’t stand shit like that. This might pertain to the way that people treat you and they won’t be happy about others viewing you as someone who they can just say and do whatever they want to. If you also experience any demonisation of your power on a spiritual level (for example, if you’re a witch, a medium, a psychic, a tarot reader, etc) then this will piss them off too. Another pet peeve of theirs is when they witness someone being made to feel guilty for something that they shouldn’t have to carry around guilt for. Any type of gaslighting and manipulation will really send them over the edge, and they’ll be ready to raise hell over shit like that 😂. They also hate when people try to suppress their anger or when they’re told how they “should” or “shouldn’t” feel. When someone tries to suppress their emotions and they feel like they’re not allowed to show their true feelings without being dismissed, it triggers something within them. Your future spouse may have a history of experiencing their emotions being suppressed and disregarded - especially from childhood - and they’ve had to work hard to even get comfortable with showing their feelings. So for someone to overstep that line and try to control the feelings that they show? Yeah…it’s not gonna go down well 💀.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

• Pile Two •

Your future spouse really hates when people keeps secrets from them. And not just personal secrets, but secrets that include them or that would affect them in some way. They’ve experienced throughout life too many secrets already and they don’t like it. At all. Also, people talking shit behind their back. Or talking about them to others without addressing the issue with them directly. They also hate any form of injustice. I feel like your future spouse is someone who will take justice into their own hands if no one else is willing to step up and serve someone their karma. Another pet peeve is those who keep other people’s secrets despite knowing damn well that they should expose that person for all of the skeletons that they have in their closet too. And I’m also seeing that your future spouse has a huge love for Earth and nature, so when they see people littering, destroying and harming the environment, hearing about animals being poached, etc will upset them greatly too. Going back to the message about secrets, your future spouse hates when people try to pry too much into their personal business. The types of people who try to rush into getting to know them are not met with compliance from your future spouse. They’re someone who’s slow to open up and they hate when people don’t respect that.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

• Pile Three •

The first pet peeve of your future spouse that I’m seeing is people who refuse to see the ugly sides of themselves. The shadow side. Those who don’t see themselves for who they truly are (the good AND the bad) gets on your spouse’s nerves to the fullest extent. They can’t stand those people who want to go through life acting like they never do anything wrong, as if they’re perfect. And this annoyance comes out the most when they’re trying to get someone to see the error of their ways and the other person is being so dismissive and stubborn. Basically when someone’s ego gets in the way of knowing themselves thoroughly. They also hate when people choose to use escapist tendencies instead of facing their issues directly. And this mainly applies to the situations in which people becoming escapists affects other people around them. Your future spouse also hates people who don’t show up as their authentic selves. I feel like because they can see through that shit and it makes them feel like so many people are fraudulent. The last pet peeve that I’m seeing is when things from the past pop up a second time around. Whether this is people bringing up what was supposed to be dead and buried already, or people from the past thinking that they can weasel their way back into your spouse’s life after some time has passed after a separation and ending.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

• Pile Four •

I’m seeing two messages about responsibility: your future spouse hates when people don’t take responsibility over themselves, their own actions, their life decisions, etc. And the reason why they hate this is because they understand that when people lack personal responsibility over themselves, that responsibility unfairly falls onto someone else who shouldn’t have to deal with it. They’re also the type of person who can’t stand seeing people not giving someone their praise for achievements in life, no matter how big or small. They don’t like that unsupportive energy that they see coming from people sometimes. Your future spouse is someone who is extremely clairvoyant - they see beneath the surface of peoples actions and energy, and what they say (or what they don’t). And they can’t stand when people act like they’re “reading too deeply” into something just because they bother to see the truth behind people and situations. That’s also why they can’t stand liars 😂. It feels like an insult to their intelligence and their perceptiveness and they don’t stand for any of that.

How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?

[inf3ct3dd]

loser!ellie headcanons pt.6

summary: ellieeee my chiquitita my baby my love

warnings: none :3

authors note: ik yall missed herrrr

masterlist. help palestine.🇵🇸

- ellie tries to be soooo cool and wear her cool people jackets (leather jackets, canvas, those carhartt hoodie jackets etc) but they’re very not helpful against the cold and you’ll be out with her and shes just SHIVERING the whole time…

- she’s obsessed w those “general knowledge quizzes” on tiktok. that girl is a hoe for trivia she’s sitting on her bed at three in the morning saying her answers OUT LOUD while she watches them. she gets so upset when she gets literally any wrong… “man…im not a quiz master 🙁”

- ik in the games she walks around with her little journal and shit but i feel like shes definitely jus constantly typing shit in her notes app… random thoughts and jokes and shit that she most definitely shows you at the end of the day

- she barely ever baby talks to babies… she’ll go up to a baby and just be like “wassup dude” and have a full blown conversation with him while the babies just sitting there babbling and giggling at her

- thinks those “im nothing like yall” slideshows r so hilarious…. like you’ll be on the couch and she’s just giggling at her phone at paracetamol 😞

- references the most niche memes ever constantly and literally googles them to explain herself. you guys went camping and she said “boy you want hot dog” and you were like ????

- so strangely particular about how her stuff is arranged 😭 her desk looks like an absolute hot mess 90% of the time but SHE UNDERSTANDS IT and if u try and organize it for her she just puts it back how it was

- always says “guys” and “yall” when she’s talking to literally one person. and CHAT. she just constantly adds it into conversation like “chat how are you today”

- loves asking if things are “fire.” she’ll cook you something and you take a bite and shes like “is that shit fire???” she has to know

- obsessed with “i barely know her” jokes. the second someone says something ending in er shes like “rider??? i barely know her!!” and she’s laughing her ass off

- that girl will go HAM on some mac and cheese. but it can only be really good baked mac or the shitty kraft mac and cheese. she puts like- hella pepper and red chili flakes in it and eats it straight out of the pot 🔥 its always at like three in the morning and you just walk in the kitchen to her with a pot in her lap watching glee or some shit

- SPEAKING. OF. glee is most definitely one of her guilty pleasure shows…like shes rewatched it a million times and glee cast was one of her top artists on apple music wrapped

- shes an apple music user. send tweet.

- got yelled at by an old lady once cuz she picked her flowers out of her front yard and gave them to you

- when i tell you that girl goes ham on those tiny clementines… she’ll eat like 10 in one day and theres just PEELS. EVERYWHERE.

- also she fw grapes heavy. especially green grapes (shes a weird little freak red grapes are so much better)

- OBSESSED WITH THOSE BLIND BAG SHITS. especially mini brands oh my god she definitely has the whole lil grocery store set and she’s so obsessed with it.

- her house slippers are definitely just a pair of crocs with the fur inside and a bunch of stupid ass jibbits. she buys the mega packs off amazon and changes them whenever shes bored

- has SO MANY drafts on tiktok and they’re all her trying filters staring at the screen like 😯

- most annoying person to sleep next to ever . snoring, sleep talking, moving around CONSTANTLY and hitting you accidentally, the only way she sleeps peacefully is if you’re holding her or she’s holding you, otherwise shes insane

- weirdly into linguistics…that girl is using humongous words for no good reason just for fun and half the time she has no idea what they mean and when she googles them and shes right about the definition she does that little fist pump and “fuck yes”

- speaking of. that girl is SPEEDRUNNING DUOLINGO . she’s fluent in (bad spaniard) spanish from it, and just learns random languages for fun. you speak a different language? she’s learning it immediately. definitely leaves notes for you in random languages she learned and you have to pull out a translator to understand wtf shes talking about… she also sleep talks in spanish sometimes and its so funny

- loves trying out different recipes…like i said my girl is a CHEF she will be at home fucking up a salmon bake she made and making you homemade pho for dinner

- had a phase when she was younger when she was really into the la bamba movie and dressed like richie valens for two years

- also cried so hard when she watched selena with you…that girl was devastated 💔 every time she hears “dreaming of you” she almost sheds a tear

“when that yolanda bitch gets out of prison….im shooting someone . its obvious who its gonna be.”

- she definitely begged joel to buy her a gun for christmas and he would take her to the range all the time so she can SHOOT. that girl is goated at lazer tag she gets down…does not play

- thought that candy cigarettes were the coolest thing ever when she was little… everywhere she went she had one hanging out of the side of her mouth and shed hold them between her fingers like they do in movies. if you two go to a candy shop shes for sure buying a pack

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

fuck buddy headcanons

kyle broflovski, stan marsh, kenny mccormick, & clyde donovan

— ♡

kyle

— at first he’s not entirely sure about it

— he’s not typically the type of person to be aroused by someone he’s not dating

— after the first time you send him nudes he’s all for it

— acts like he doesn’t know you in public

— but the second you’re alone he’s prying your clothes off

— prefers to schedule things ahead of time

— thinks it builds the anticipation & makes things more exciting

— if he does end up catching feelings he apologizes and breaks things off immediately

— rough as fuck

— will leave bruises but never anywhere you can’t cover

— sees your ass in public and pops a boner

— down to try just about anything as long as it isn’t messy

— requires a condom or he won’t hit

stan

— he’s actually the one who begged you for it

— really shy the first few times but once he’s used to you… oh boy

— more of a sensual fuck than anything

— made the entire arrangement because you looked like a goody two shoes

— the type of person he’d settle down with

— and boy is he touch starved

— will leave marks just about anywhere his mouth can reach

— but especially loves your thighs

— he saw your ass and immediately knew he wanted to fuck you

— pretty face was just a bonus

— if he does end up catching feelings he’d keep it going for a few weeks and then ghost you before he ended it

— his friends shit talk your hickeys not knowing they’re because of him

— down to try most things but is pretty vanilla aside from the occasional degradation

kenny

— freak

— you both kind of mutually agreed you should try the whole fwb thing

— originally you just smoked together

— you took your shirt off in front of him and he decided he wanted you

— everyone knows you’re fucking but it’s never really focused on

— also goes crazy with the hickeys

— down to try anything anytime for any reason

— loves making you beg

— quickies in public

— eating you out is a not-so-guilty pleasure

— loves fucking on molly

— probably also into anal just because he loves the thought of double penetration

— going out with friends is torture because he bought a pair of remote control vibrating panties for you

— obsessed with your boobs

— if he does catch feelings he’d probably propose after a few weeks

clyde

— liked your look and wanted to fuck

— he definitely asked you

— you guys keep it low key but it’s still pretty obvious

— he likes when you don’t wear underwear in public

— bonus points if you take them off in the bathroom and slip them in his pocket

— keeps a collection of your underwear like a trophy wall

— submissive crybaby

— loves when you give him head

— it’s like heaven inside your mouth for him

— especially loves being overstimulated

— cries the second overstimulation kicks in

— god forbid you edge him or he’s a squirming mess

— probably catches feelings after the first few times but hides it (very poorly)

— eventually asks you out if he does but if you don’t feel comfortable he’ll end the whole arrangement

[lexirosewrites]

Hello! Long time reader here and I thought I’d give this a try for once. Espescially since there were so few this past week. I love Slick Sundays.

This is a long one.

Scifi/Space Voyage enemies to lovers AU because I love scifi and couldn’t help myself. CW for noncon body modification because I’m fascinated with how omegaverse biology could start but its not in detail.

Steve Harrington is hired onto a space ship as an exercise physiologist (It’s like a very educated personal trainer). It’s a relatively small ship, with an equally small crew of scientists and engineers who’ve been given the chance to research the biology of other planets around the galaxy. He likes the crew just fine, even if they hate the physical excersize that’s required for this type of trip. One such member is Eddie Munson, the ship’s handyman and published fantasy author going on this voyage to hopefully find inspiration for his books.

Eddie annoys the shit out of Steve, constantly pushing his buttons and making his job difficult. The institute they’re working for has strict guidelines for the crews’ physical state to maintain safety, and the person responsible for keeping them there is Steve. But Eddie is practically allergic to anything he deems exercise, and as such fights Steve about doing the exercises he needs to. The others on the crew also don’t do all of their needed exercise, the nerds, but at least they look guilty about it. Eddie’s just prickly. (Eddie is just trying his best not to get a violation for jumping the pretty man, because when Steve was demonstrating an exercise, unknowingly showing off his pert ass, Eddie nearly pinned him to the equipment and pounded into him until Steve couldn’t cum anymore. Eddie’s only idea on how to avoid that was making Steve not like him and not be in any setting where he might see Steve’s ass.) (Steve may or may not have been showing his ass off on purpose. Sue him the guys hot.)

It doesn’t help that they can’t stop running into each other, gravitating towards the same secluded observation deck. Most nights Steve gets there first, and Eddie will silently slip away to another deck. But one night when Eddie gets there first, Steve startles him by sitting next to him. They sit in silence for a bit before they tentatively start talking, reaching a point of camaraderie. They meet there every night from then on, becoming close friends, maybe something more.

One day, the scientists discover an interesting planet where most organisms have a very strange dynamic between genders. Further studies show that their tend to be 6 combinations of two sets of genders. The omegaverse genders.

When a sample container breaks one day due to someone’s clumsiness, the entire crew get sick. High fevers, severe soreness, and sinus pain are the common symptoms, but some have abdominal and genital pains, describing it as their organs are being rearranged. The scientists have theorized that a highly infectious bacteria escaped from the broken sample tube and it’s been changing all of the crew to follow the gender biology of the planet they’ve been studying. They are all developing secondary genders.

Steve ends up growing all the equipment he needs to carry a baby, something he’s been secretly envious of not getting to experience, and Eddie ends up with a knot on his dick and a new breeding kink. Now they can smell each other, easily picking out emotions they couldn’t before and realizing that all the bickering was a strange form of foreplay. They don’t immediately act on it, actually they sit on it for a week, before Steve breaks the silence and telling Eddie that if they follow these wants it has to be because Eddie wants him as a long term partner and not a fun passtime.

Eddie, being the secret romantic he is and knowing that he’s been slowly falling in love with Steve, blurts out that he wants Steve forever. Eddie wants to build a den for him to nest in, wants to help him through his cycle and breed him, give Steve the big family he’s always dreamed of, and be his mate. It’s a really strong come on and Steve feels crazy for loving it, espescially with the newness of their biology. It doesn’t stop him from leaning into his alpha’s side and whispering into his ear:

“Take me to your den and breed me. We’ll worry about our first date later.”

Steve ends up being the first human omega male to give birth.

(On the fence of whether or not I’m actually going to turn this into a fic. The writing goblin in my head has been very loud lately.)

i’ll take 100k words please 🤲

[katzkinder]

Servamp headcanons, ice cream edition! Because my grandma got an ice cream maker and we’re all super eager to try it out but then she broke her back (she’s fine, don’t worry)

Mahiru: plain old vanilla. Misono introduced him to vanilla BEAN ice cream though and he’s feeling a little guilty about wanting to splurge a bit for the more expensive, creamier stuff… Kuro is an enabler and his encouragement is the only reason he’s still managing to resist. Just do it Mahi!

Kuro: Cookies and Cream is his favorite, but he’s also partial to cookie dough, or crumbled chocolate mint cookies as topping. He likes both the taste and the texture

Misono: chocolate lol. He’s predictable. His absolute favorite though are those ultra decadent brownie batter type of chocolate ice creams. Yknow the ones. Chocolate pieces, brownie bits, hot fudge swirl… He gets sick off the stuff easily though, so even though he loves it, self control is everything

Lily: vanilla bean with strawberry topping and cheese cake bites! He loves fresh strawberries in his desserts, and often he and Misono will trade bites if they’re getting flavor fatigue. Also very rich but the strawberry helps cuts through the sweetness

Tetsu: a Basic Boi who loves GariGariKun the most. Prefers popsicles over dairy treats. Yeah technically this isn’t ice cream but like. It’s the taste of summer and after bath refreshments. I’m not taking that from him

Hugh: vanilla with hot fudge sauce (and/or blood). He still prefers his chocolate parfaits, or better yet for this scenario, a milkshake

Licht: yknow those ultra sweet cotton candy flavors? If it’s ice cream by itself, he loves that. But if it’s a float, it’s gotta be vanilla in melon soda. If you take him to marble slab or similar place that lets you mix in a bunch of toppings, he will make a beeline for the gummy bears. Gets disappointed every time that they turn hard and unpleasant to eat, even though he already knows the outcome

Lawless: he has two favorites. Coffee bean (distinct from just plain coffee flavor) and moose tracks. I’m not sure what that’s called in other places? Basically it’s vanilla with peanut butter cups and fudge. Only goes for this when he’s depressed, if I’m honest. Otherwise it’s too sweet.

Mikuni: haagen daz amaretto almond crunch and their hojicha latte flavor. Forever sad that the former was limited edition and doesn’t make seasonal returns. It was absolutely perfect for his and jeje’s terrible Netflix movie nights (with the occasional appearance by johannes so they could make fun of the bad science together)

Jeje: since Mikuni only buys haagen daz (spoiled pretentious shit) he’s grateful they a rich pumpkin flavor that becomes available during autumn. He also really likes horchata milkshakes for the comforting taste of cinnamon.

Iduna: Tried butter pecan once and was hooked. The crunchiness of the pecans is her favorite part. It’s her go to for when Haagen Daz Creamy Vanilla Pudding flavor isn’t in season. Back home, though, it’s got to be the rather… Unique. Salty licorice flavor. She gave some to shuuhei one time just to watch him gag. She knows what she’s doing to that poor boy.

Freya: the simple freshness of strawberry ice cream is her guilty pleasure. She been thinking of making her own with an old hand churner. It would be fun, right? And it’s not like it would be difficult to get the ingredients she needs.

Nicco: Pistachio gelato, though he also enjoys the tartness and slight bitter aftertaste of limoncello flavor. He likes taking Ildio with him whenever there’s a new flavor he wants to try but isn’t sure he’ll like. Even if he doesn’t care for it, his servamp probably will. Does that make him mean?

Ildio: No preference as of yet. He’s still figuring this whole… Tasting your food thing out

Tsubaki: as expected, he loves matcha and red bean flavors. REALLY excited some of the Hagen daz hanamochi series is becoming a permanent flavor

Sakuya: rocky road. Sweet, crunchy, and a little bitter on the back end from the chocolate. Refuses to admit it but he also enjoys the hanamochi series. He’s stubborn. Whenever he wins a free popsicle he gives the stick to Mahiru, so inevitably when they hang out, that’s what he buys if they stop at the konbini, just for the chance to maybe earn some good boy points with his best friend and crush. And he thinks he’s subtle—

Reblog with your own headcanons! I love seeing what people add to my posts :3

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

don't know how much of this makes sense but I've been thinking about sirius at grimmauld place meeting auror reader... possibly Weasley!reader? like around Bill's age, and maybe she defends him when Molly and the rest of the order are having that discussion – him just being in awe and desperate for her and her love (maybe turns into him jerking off thinking of her) and would love to see your take on it!

pounding my fists on the fucking table THIS is the type of shit i’m TALKING ABOUT, people!!!!!! 😤🥵🥵 i LOVE the way your mind works!!!! you love to fucking see it!!!! WOOOOOO

alright i love the thought of sirius getting off to the thought of y/n…. but here’s the thing. i rewrote the first half of this fic at least four different times trying to figure out a way to incorporate y/n into the argument, but i couldn’t do it 😐😔 it always sounded too chunky or corny so i changed up your request a bit. sorry bout that chief 🫡 but anyway

“I’m sorry for what she said.” You tell Sirius quietly as everyone else files out of the kitchen. The argument between him and your mother was a bad one, and things still feel a bit tense.

Your mother is the sweetest and most caring woman you’ve ever met, but she can be quite harsh when riled up. She made several comments to Sirius that were incredibly rude and uncalled for.

“You don’t have to apologize, dear.” Sirius tells you while standing from his chair. He motions for you to walk in front of him as you go up the stairs together. It’s a polite gesture, and you’re none the wiser as he takes a few short glances at your rear.

“I know,” You sigh, whispering as to not wake up any of the portraits. “But she could’ve made her point without being so rude. It wasn’t right of her to say those things.”

“It’s alright.” Sirius lies, not wanting to say too much and accidentally insult your mother to your face. He’s always been one to hold a grudge, and this argument with Molly won’t be forgotten anytime soon.

“I get the feeling you don’t mean that.” You state as you reach the floor of your guest bedroom. “But I understand. I suppose I wouldn’t forgive her so easily either.”

Sirius looks down at you as you turn to face him. Standing together in the dimly lit hallway vaguely reminds Sirius of what it’s like to drop a date off at their door. This situation isn’t so lighthearted, but the tension feels similar.

He tilts his head to the side and smiles, deflecting the conversation toward you. “That so? I figured you’d be the type to forgive and forget.”

You reflect his smile and shrug. “I am, but I don’t think the same is said for you.”

Sirius nods once and chuckles quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re just too sweet. Goodnight, love.”

Sirius listens and watches as you say your own ‘Goodnight’, breaking eye contact and looking away as some color lights up your cheeks. He waits until your door is closed before walking away to his own room.

After getting undressed and sliding into bed, Sirius can’t help but feel a little guilty.

It feels wrong. You’re ten years his junior, for Merlin’s sake! Sirius is probably closer in age to your parents than he is to you.

The interactions between the two of you thus far have been nothing but innocent, and yet Sirius can’t help himself. The feeling of his stiffening cock rubbing against the confines of his trousers is unbearable.

He releases himself from his pants, and slowly starts working his hands up and down his shaft. Instead of his own fist, he imagines your lips wrapped around him.

Sirius lays his head back on his pillow and closes his eyes. He remembers you, just a few moments ago as you looked up at him in the hallway: eyes wide, pupils dilated, and lips slightly parted. He can easily picture you with that same expression as you bob your head up and down his length.

Instead of his own hands working his cock, he imagines they’re tangled in your hair to help guide you and set the pace.

He pumps his cock faster, picturing you using one hand to hold the base of his shaft and the other to pleasure yourself.

Sirius wonders what kind of sound you’d make if he ‘accidentally’ held your head down too far, pushing you to take more of him than you can handle. He imagines the feeling of your throat gagging and contracting around the head of his cock, saliva dripping out of your mouth and falling onto his balls and the bedsheets.

As he gets closer to his orgasm, he quickly ponders whether or not you’d swallow; maybe you’d prefer his cum on your face or all over your breasts.

Or perhaps you’d prefer not to waste a drop. You’d flip over onto your back, begging Sirius to cum inside you.

It’s all so easy to imagine. He can already hear your sweet little gasps and moans as he sinks his cock into your sopping wet pussy, giving it a few pumps before spilling his load as deep inside as he can get.

Sirius cums with a small moan and a shudder, reality coming back to hit him as soon as his cum falls all over his hand and stomach.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

um. hi? so........random incorrect quotes guilty gear x reader part 2? please?

I like you Anon!

NOW! YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!!!

Baiken: Did it hurt when you fell- You: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Baiken: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. You: … Baiken: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

-

Elphelt: Wow, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. You: We literally slept together yesterday. Elphelt: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

-

Giovana: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out! You: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way? Giovana: I don't know, surprise me!

-

Milia: I want to kiss you. You, not paying attention: What? Milia: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

-

You, talking about I-NO: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HER AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT!? SHE DID! SHE KISSED ME! WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO!!!

-

You: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Ramlethal: Wow. They sound stupid. You: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Ramlethal: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” You: I guess you’re right. Hey Ram, I love you. Ram: See! Just say that! You: Holy fucking shit. Ram: If that flies over their head then, sorry Jam, but they're too dumb for you. You, on the verge of dying of laughter: Ram!

-

You: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Jam: Aren't you forgetting something? You: Uuh…*hesitantly kisses Jam's forehead before running out*. Jam: No! I mean yes that too, but pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

-

Bridget: We had a date!

*Bridget points aggressively at a coloring book*

-

Haeyun: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you!

Neither of you die Haeyun: … You: … You: So, do you wanna talk about somethi— Haeyun: No, thank you!

[wawamouse]

Oz Rewatch 3: S5E04: Next Stop Valhalla

Storylines

Jaime tries to kill Guerra and is killed instead; Miguel feels guilty; Alicia Hinden comes to Oz with the dog training program; Augustus, Penders, and Miguel are selected

Miss Sally’s Schoolyard to become Sallycise; Brass confirms to Rebadow he bought the lottery ticket; Martinez hits Brass with a shit cocktail; Gloria tries to get Martinez put in the hospital and then beats him up when he keeps touching her face

Beecher and Schillinger fight during an interaction session; Schillinger antagonises Schibetta;

Peter Marie visits Keller; McClain visits Keller

Winthrop and Guenzel arrive at Oz; Guenzel is taken under Beecher’s wing while Winthrop becomes a prag for the Aryans in Unit B

Frank Urbano arrives at Oz; Beecher asks Pancamo for the Italians help in protecting Guenzel; the Aryans and Italians get into a fight

Gloria tells Ryan he has to tell his mother about his crimes; Ryan breakdances instead; Shupe tells O’Reily that Li going to rape his mom; Ryan and Cyril kill Li

Augustus continues to grieve his mother and ends up breaking his sobriety

Omar annoys Emerald City and Said with his singing, McManus gives him a supply closet to practice in; Redding demands Omar use it to sell drugs; Lalar and Arif complain to Said that he’s neglecting his role as leader; Robson tortures and kills Lalar

Sister: That’s why they gotta stop announcing everything they do in this show, like...

Sister: I feel like [Norma’s] just dead at this point.

Sister: I feel like they’re leading up to him being like a mass shooter or something. Me: You think he’s gonna snap? Sister: He seems like the type...

Sister: …I think being free would making him happy. I mean, [Toby] had that whole vision about being free that did not include [Chris], so I think he’ll be fine.

Sister: You can just tell them anything and they’ll let you through…

Sister: What’s wrong with this guy? What’s he in for? Me: Hate crimes… Murder, officially, I think. Sister: Hate crime? What’s he sniffing people for? Me: He's just a perv...

Sister: …That’s so gross… In my sickened state*, I can’t even summon a bleugh. Me: [Retching noise] Sister: Thanks. (*We got some booster shots yesterday and Sister always gets sick afterward lol)

Sister: When are they going to address that guy whose wife also died? Me: Never. Sister: So why did they introduce her?! To spout off some facts and get shushed by the priest?? Me: Maybe there was originally supposed to be more of a story to it and it go cut. Sister: No, they just wanted to do their little after school special moment and then not deal with it. You know, if any of the Muslims should be having the issues in these episodes, it should be the other guy (Arif), not Mr. Said... Me: They could have issues together. Sister: Yeah. Kill the Nazi helper dude. The one who's egging everything on. Schillinger doesn't even really do stuff on his own anymore. Before, he didn't want to fight and wanted to become a Jesus freak and it was always that guy whispering in his ear. And now look.

Sister: How we know he’s not gonna build a bomb in there? … Oh, I guess they took away all the cleaning supplies…

Stray Thoughts

Sister says Jia Kenmin and Li Chen’s plan to provoke Ryan so they could kill him in self defense was really not thought-out

Sister is convinced that someone is going to die for one of the dogs

Sister believes that killing Robson would get rid of most of the Aryans’ bite since she views him as being the worst out of all the Aryans

Final thoughts

The scene where Robson and what’s his face torture Lalar is the toughest scene to watch in the entire show, imo. And it pisses me off (like, I’m actually getting mad thinking about it right now, lol) that Robson gets more expansion in terms of character as the show progresses, too, because whooooooooo gives a shit about a Nazi?! They still haven’t followed up on Arif’s wife LMAO. Also Urbano gets introduced this episode and they don’t end up doing shit with him, really, either. But let’s learn about this asshole!!

Sister: I feel like they’ve run out of storylines with the Muslims and are just repeating past ones. Wasn’t it [Arif] who was the one complaining about Said’s leadership the last time? And then he couldn’t handle it which caused the whole thing… and now he’s doing it again? Me: I think they just don’t like when Said helps other people. They complained when Said was spending time on Beecher, too… Sister: Yeah, [Arif] is so needy… He’s like “you’re spending too much time with your roommate who you have to stay in a cell with” and also every time he is around, [Said] just wants [Omar] to be quiet anyway…

[avatarrecom]

What they give you for Valentine's day

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Recom!reader

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: Omg I completely forgot to post this! Thank you all for the happy birthday wishes! Ignore my rambling through the headcanons lol.

Any thoughts?

🌍 Recom Miles Quaritch

He knows that it’s valentine's day, but it never occurred to him to get you a gift. Not until Walker and Z-dog give him an earful telling him to get you a gift asap. So Miles ditches his duties and frantically searches the entire base for a gift (because 1: Walker and Z-dog are hella protective of you and want their baby to be happy (and they're both scary as fuck when they want to, not that he will ever admit that) and 2: he doesn’t know if you’re expecting something and he doesn’t want to disappoint you). Eventually all he can find is a box of chocolates. Walker and Z-dog make him swear to go all out for your birthday to make up for the ‘pathetic’ gift. Even though you absolutely love it, I mean, chocolate is everyone's guilty pleasure right? (I will (try and fail to) fight you if you say no)

😈 Recom Lyle Wainfleet

Himself. That’s it, that’s the gift. You walk into your room to find him blue butt naked on your bed. Maybe the others have managed to convince him that just glorious nakedness isn’t enough, so maybe, he’ll tie a pretty bow around his cock, maybe not. I mean it’s Lyle, who knows what’s going through that bald head of his (probably not much but who am I to judge).

🍬 Recom Z-dog & 🥽 Recom Walker

THEY GO ALL OUT!!!! Like h-o-l-y shit. They force Miles to give the three of you the day off from work and you have a girls day (they may be though marines, but they still love them some self care). This girls day may or may not include certain spicy gifts and many, many, like I cannot empathize enough that there were many orgasms.

😎 Recom Mansk My boy may not be overly present, but he is there, he is always watching, always listening. He is always waiting… waiting for the perfect moment to… give you everything you could ever want. If you mentioned wanting to read a specific book, he’s buying it the  second he can. He buys literally everything you ever mentioned you wanted. He’s the type of guy to do that thing (I saw it on tiktok) where he goes to your amazon account (or whatever webshop you use) and buys everything you have in your cart and/or wishing list. There are four moments in a year when he goes all out spoiling you. The first is your birthday (obviously), second is your anniversary, third is Christmas and last is Valentine’s day.

(My grandpa used to do this for everyone in the family to the point it became annoying. There was this movie (or series? Idk)(in the Netherlands) about a knight named Floris and I remember watching it when I was with my grandparents and that at some point there were these people with plague masks and I was completely and utterly terrified. I literally couldn’t sleep that night and in the morning (I slept at their place) my grandpa gave me a copy of the movie and when I was packing my stuff I accidentally, on purpose ‘forgot’ it. I had nightmares for weeks lol. I never had the heart to tell him, and he never brought it up, bless his soul.)

🧯 Recom Prager I see him as the type to give you one of those jars with hundreds of sweet messages. He probably goes all out and gives you multiple jars with notes depending on how you feel. Do you feel sad? Just take a note out of the sad jar and it says how much he loves and appreciates you. Do you feel insecure? There are a hundred notes telling you how beautiful you are. And the way he describes it?! Like omg, he’ll write a note (because yes, of course they’re all hand written) that says “You are beautiful like the morning dew in the fields” or “You are the most beautiful star in the entire galaxy”.

(Omg I need a Prager to write me sweet notes 😩. I mean I’m extremely lonely. It’s a recent development by the way, my bf broke up with me through text (on my birthday, I swear, it is the most interesting birthday gift I've ever gotten, and also the only one I've gotten on my b-day👍🏻) and then I found out through a mutual friend that he’s been cheating on me with my bff for 6 months… Who wants help to egg his house? So my self esteem is extremely low right now. Not that it’s normally particularly high, matter of fact, it's shit and has been shit since got bullied first year of high school, but anywayy)

⚕️ Recom Ja He gives you a promise ring. I don’t think that the RDA would allow the Recoms to marry, especially within the squad, so a promise ring is the next best option. Getting the ring wasn’t much of an issue, but getting it in Recom size was. There were a lot of favors called in and when that didn’t work he resorted to threats or blackmail. If he wasn’t allowed to marry you, they could at least allow him this.

🧢 Recom Brown He gives you one of those cringy hoodies. Yours says “His Queen” and his says “Her King”. If he walks in the room and sees you wear your hoodie, he drops everything and changes into his own. The other Recoms make fun of you two for wearing them (mostly him, they would never make fun of you), but they’re secretly really jealous. Also, I’m like 99,99% sure that Z-dog, Walker and Prager had to persuade him to not give you something similar but with a sex joke on it.

📿 Recom Lopez You know that meme: A: “Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake.” B: “You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for them right now.” A: *pointing their hot glue gun threateningly* You’re on thin fucking ice.”

Lopez is person A. That’s it. (He’s definitely scrubbing glitter from his hair for days after, it’s definitely not because Lyle dumps Lopez’ entire glitter supply on his head, Lopez does the same to Lyle, but with obviously little effect)

⛓️ Recom Fike Baby boy’s love cannot be measured in gifts. He just showers you in hugs and kisses all day long. If people are giving him (and you) strange/disgusting looks, don’t worry, Brown is right behind Fike glaring at everyone who dares looking at you two. Fike ends up giving you something you’ve been wanting later on, cuz he’s unsure if you’re disappointed, you’re not and you end up making that very clear to him.

[cookie-crumblr]

What would happen if Darling showed a little jealousy towards the girls who flirt with Ezra?

Oh my goodness! i am so sorry covid kicked my butt and i’m still not better lol, but anonie ily, idk if you’re the same nonnie that’s been sending all or at least most of the ezra asks, but i am working on them all!!! i promise i just haven’t even touched this app in DAYS. T.T

anyway, Minors DNI as always 🥰 plz and ty

CW: GN/READER, no body or genitalia descriptions for reader (other than hole lol), kissing, biting, sex in whatever hole you have luv u bb, creampie, indecent exposure, public sex, ditching the body type beat

Status: Not Dating (but close to it)

You stab your pencil into the knot in the wood of your table. It’s so hard to listen to your professor next to Ezra. Today’s a little different though…

“Ezraaaaa~” a gorgeous peer touches his arm, and fawns over him. He’s watching you with some weirdly satisfied expression on his face. You roll your eyes at him. He chuckles back and your brows furrow ferociously. What? did he just— “When are you gonna come back over? we’re having a party this weekend…”

Now a few guys are walking up and one of them pushes another forward, He sputters for a sec before speaking up “H-hey Ezra! um, wanna go out this weekend again?”

“Oh my gods, can I please just focus!? leave him alone! the professor is literally speaking!” The pencil snaps, half of it stuck graphite first in that same wooden knot. It’s been ground a little deeper than it was earlier.

“Ew. You can always—” The gorgeous one starts, before Ezra cuts her off.

“Nah they’re right. This is boring as shit.” He leans over to your ear, “‘sides, I like you mad,” He’s wearing a beaming grin as he pulls back.

He grabs you by the waist and pulls you outside, the professor doesn’t spare either of you a glance.

As soon as you’re out in the hallway, his raw strength is forcefully slamming you into the lockers, rattling the metal doors.

“Ezra??” You never see him this passionate or nice? Sure he’s still rough, but he isn’t hurting you.

He lifts your legs and wraps them around his waist. “Owch,” One of the latches is digging in your back, you laugh a little “sorry, my back”

He moves you both down an inch or two, his lips crashing onto yours before he pulls away to take in the sight of you.

“Why do you make me feel this way…?” It’s like he didn’t mean to say that… You feel like you’ve seen something you almost… Shouldn’t have? You look down and away. “No. Look at me.” He pulls you back roughly with his hand on your jaw.

“Fuck, Ezra…. I don’t know… Maybe you shouldn’t” You choose your next words as carefully as you can. “have been so mean. Prolly feelin guilty or somethin’”

“That too.” His lips assault your neck now, teeth biting and air puffing against you. Your body is a whirlwind of sensation.

“too?”

He either doesn’t hear you or just doesn’t answer.

Your arms are locked around his neck but your fingers tingle with yearning. Youdecide to trust him with your weight and let go in favor of tracing his muscled arms. You both sigh into eachother. The Ozone and forest scent of him comes through and fill your senses once again.

Even the smell of smoke is starting to welcome you back. You don’t let yourself think twice. You deserve some feel good sex after everything he’s done to you. He owes you. “Yeah.”

“What?” He pulls back with glistening lips to inspect you his expression quizzical but still smiling.

“You owe me. a lot. actually.”

“Oh? hah! fine whatever. now open up.”

You push your crotch against his bulge harder, “I have been, just waiting for you.”

“Fuck, good” He pats your head affectionately. His hand falls down your face almost… Lovingly.

You try and shove those fluttery feelings down. This is Ezra after all.

Once inside he’s bouncing you desperately on his thick pulsing cock. His hands are wrapped around your throat getting you so close to blacking out it hurts. You try to tap out but he continues pounding furiously into you.

You deliciously sloppy hole stretches around his width perfectly. His grunts fill your fading and popping hearing.

“F-f-ff” you can’t speak at all. Finally you feel him shuddering and filling you with his thick streaming cum.

He drops you.

You slump unceremoniously down onto the smooth waxed floor. Cum leaks out of your still exposed hole.

You have to catch your breath, and while you are indisposed you see the flash of Ezra’s phone camera. Then he leaves you there. His walk a satisfied swagger down the hall away from the classroom and toward the front doors.

Asshole.

[wordbunch]

the fellowship in a college dorm

a/n.... uhhHHH this is a thing..... i have nothing to say in my defense. have fun 💛

warnings: mentions of alcohol and weed i guess? but literally just mentions.

Aragorn + Boromir: they actually bicker a surprising amount, but they’re the only ones allowed to talk shit about each other // every other night they accidentally end up talking until like 2 a.m. and having a heart-to-heart // neither of them likes cleaning but they will definitely grumpily do it when it’s their turn // Aragorn makes tea a lot and he has a collection with various tea flavors // also he is outside a lot so he isn’t even in the room that much and on the outside Boromir is like hell yes 😎😏 but actually he’s like 😔😔😔 // Boromir wants to have a pet but it’s not allowed so he feeds birds or stray cats outside // Aragorn will eat whatever is in the fridge, no matter how old, and miraculously never get sick // Boromir’s guilty pleasure are long showers // Faramir is the lil brother who studies abroad but likes to come visit and then he crashes in their room but he lowkey hates the mess and he gives the room a deep clean every single time // in return Boromir and Aragorn take him to cool places and buy him food and they act responsible when Faramir gets wasted (he is a total lightweight) // their room is right underneath Merry and Pippin and they often wonder WHAT is happening upstairs🤨 // generally they’re very decent neighbors to have except for when Faramir comes to visit, then they get up to shenanigans because they wanna be those Super Cool Big Brothers who do all sorts of “forbidden” things with the lil bro and living it up 🤪// surprisingly (or not??) Boromir is the one who always organizes things like ‘the secret santa’ for the dorm squad also he is the designated “bring the bluetooth speaker” guy // Aragorn likes to make and build DIY stuff + Boromir is prone to accidentally breaking things = bad combo // however it will usually get smoothed over with a beer or two, which is usually how they solve their lil conflicts 🍻

Legolas + Gimli: the LIGHTEST sleeper sharing a dorm with the one who snores like a truck and cannot be woken up, if not by a nuclear attack // Legolas immediately invested in ear plugs and he just lays down looking at the ceiling for hours on end while Gimli happily sleeps // Legolas tries to have aesthetically pleasing decorations and he definitely has quite a few plants on his side of the room, but he really. loves. stickers. so his aesthetic goes out the window pretty quickly, and suddenly there’s stickers everywhere // Gimli has posters of like, rock and metal bands on the walls and one pinboard dedicated exclusively to concert & festival tickets // he also likes to play loud music with open windows and sometimes Legolas wants to STRANGLE him, but eventually he realizes he will miss it when the semester is over (and he will miss the snoring too)  🥺🥺🥺// strands of fallen hair everywhere. everywhere. // also both of them have lots of hair products, but obviously for very different hair types so… chaos ensues if they accidentally switch them (accidentally? Merry and Pippin have entered the chat.👀) // Gimli eats all of Legolas’ leftovers // Legolas 100% asks super weird questions at like 3 in the morning and he most definitely has a 13 step skincare routine // once he was doing skincare in the middle of the night, because he can study well at night and then he needs to unwind, and fsr Gimli woke up and was scared shitless by Legolas in a face mask // Legolas lounges around in tights and always ALWAYS has a witty comment for any situation or person // out of everyone, they’re the pair of roommates with the biggest differences, but they bully each other affectionately the most and they bond A LOT over secretly talking shit about others; however, nobody else in the 500 mile radius isn’t allowed to say a single bad thing about their friends // Gimli will drink straight outta the carton/bottle/whatever, while Legolas uses fancy thrifted champagne glasses to drink WATER✨

Merry + Pippin: their room is the designated hangout place // more often than not there’s at least one more person in the room just chilling // also they got The Weed…so maybe that’s why?? ☘️☘️ // literally never a quiet moment // the room is a mess but it’s never dirty! it’s just organized chaos and both of them always know where everything is // posters, random trinkets, a collection of random bottle caps or something like that // Merry has fairy lights and quite a few books and he’s used to completely tuning out Pippin’s random rambling while reading/studying // Pippin sings in the shower (basically canon actually) and loses track of time and suddenly the whole floor is complaining about not having warm water // they go over to hang with Boromir when Aragorn is off to who knows where // they wear each other’s clothes almost always and have a pretty much shared wardrobe at this point // accidentally almost burned down or flooded the room more than once but they REALLY like scented candles!! // Merry has some miserable old acoustic guitar and thinks he is A Musician and Songwriter™ (everyone except Sam is like no <3) // pre-drinks before going out are ALWAYS in their room and then others accidentally leave some of their stuff there; the following week Pippin just appears in a band tshirt (of a band he doesn’t even know) that might have belonged to Gimli at some point… 🤫// when Pippin talks gibberish in his sleep, Merry records it and plays it during hangouts // Merry, Frodo and Legolas have a mini book club but a wildly different taste in books // when Pippin goes to someone else’s room, he will point at things on the shelves/walls and ask a hundred ‘and where’s that from’s’ 👀// so many times something (better than someone!) accidentally fell through the window and then Aragorn or Boromir caught it downstairs // they would really like a pet but they can’t so once Pippin caught a butterfly in a jar as a pet substitute, but felt too bad and released it almost immediately🥺 // Merry likes to play therapist for others but… take his advice at your own risk

Frodo + Sam: literally the quietest room ever, others sometimes wonder if they’re alive // of course Sam has as many plants on the windowsill as possible // Frodo has a nice little book collection and some old maps as wall decor and also he likes collecting nice stuff like postcards or magnets  // they have an air humidifier and scented candles and it’s the coziest room for sleeping 😌😌😌// so their friends will gladly crash there for a nap, especially after an exam or a party // also they have some nice herbal soaps // obligatory classical/instrumental music for studying // Sam obviously uses the common kitchen the most, and he always makes too much of everything and then feeds his friends, and even leaves some leftovers in the kitchen so that others from the building can freely take it 💖// Sam and Aragorn are those that are called when something needs a quick fix, like a leaking tap in the bathroom or sth // Frodo is one of those people that are like, resident advice giver, but Legolas is surprisingly nosy?? so he will just drop by (with an obligatory snack) to listen to whoever is spilling their woes to Frodo // neither Sam nor Frodo really have the heart to yell at Merry and Pippin when they’re being too wild, but ONCE it was just too much and it was during exam season, and they enlisted Gimli to help them pull a prank in which he pretended to be a security guard threatening to throw out Merry and Pippin 😈// Gimli has a really soft spot for these two idk, he’ll be like “if anyone EVER bullies you-” // Sam falls fatally in love with someone every other week and he will literally sit by the window and sigh and stare into the distance while Frodo is trying not to die laughing // they have a little projector that they bring for movie nights // Frodo made a groupchat for all of them… resulting in even more tomfoolery <3

-

i’ll be sappy for a moment and say i’m grateful for all the fun and crazy times i’ve had in my dorm life... it’s been good thanks 4 everything 🥰

✨ taglist my beloved ✨ @lotrnonsense​​​​​​ @starlady66​​​​​​ @queenmeriadoc​​ @entishramblings​​​​​​ @thesolarangel​​​​​​ @silversword7000​​​​​​ @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog​​​​​​ @averys-place​​​​​​ @valkyriepirate​​​​​​ @emmaarenstarr​​​​​​ @noldorinpainter​​​​​​ @asianbutnotjapanese​​​​​​ @adamgetawaydriver​​​​​​ @fenharel-enaste​​​​​​ @ironmandeficiency​​​​​​      @starryeyedrogue​​ @dinofromspac3​​  @wisheduponastar​ @lady-of-imladris​ @frodo-cinnamonroll​  (i sincerely apologize for putting you through this)

[local-critter]

Angst alphabet for Asra please.

Which latters? D! And anything else you'd like to do for Asra.

Aside from D for Death, I want them all as Asra, but also know that's way too many. So D.

I'm a little overachiever at times so I did the whole alphabet LMAO

Asra Alnazar Angst Alphabet

A - Austere (what makes them feel uncomfortable and unwanted?)

Being ignored or straight up ghosted; Asra doesn’t like being perceived too much but you’re his whole world, he wants to savor every moment with you to make up for lost time and he feels so shitty when you don’t return the sentiment

B - Bad Habits

Ironically, ghosting. They’ll forget to tell you about a trip until the last minute, or maybe forget to tell you altogether, leading to them just up and disappearing for sometimes days at a time. It’s common when they’re upset or really stressed

C - Crying (do they cry easily? What causes them to crack? How do they cry?)

Asra kinda hates acknowledging most emotions he perceives as negative, so it takes a lot for him to cry. If it’s just because maybe things have been building up for too long but not one specific thing that set him off, just silent tears running down his face. If it is one specific thing he can’t run from, like your death, he just breaks down; it’s messy, there are tears and snot everywhere, his shoulders are shaking violently from the force of his sobs, his breathing is fast and shallow and when he’s done he has a headache from hell and he feels completely hollowed out; he’ll be walking around in a numb daze for a few days afterward, because he just released all the emotions that have been building up for months, maybe years. The first type of cry is a little stream and the second is a raging river; there is no in-between

D - Death (how do they handle the topic? What would they do if their s/o died?)

They don’t handle death well; Asra, post (upright) route holds their loved ones as close to their heart as they can; the thought of any of their loved ones dying can send them straight into a downward spiral of anxiety and dread. Conformation of death sends them straight into either dissociation and denial or a week-long breakdown and then dissociation and denial for a little before they start looking into necromancy with a frantic look in their eyes and terrifying determination. If their significant other died though? Oh boy

They were bad enough the first time but the second, it kills them. Their grief would actually kill them if they lost you again; they would not survive knowing you’re gone and there’s nothing they can do about it because they know they can’t make another deal.

E - Emotion (an emotion they try to suppress)

Anger; he tries so hard to never get angry. He allows himself annoyance, irritation, but never ever anger. Asra is not an angry person in general, there are few times he’s been truly angry at someone, most often Lucio, so he’s come to associate his anger to the former count

F - fights (how do they argue? How quickly do they start an argument? Are they patient with their s/o’s feelings?)

Asra has seemingly endless patience; especially when it comes to you. They were your caretaker for at least a year, probably more, so they’re familiar with your moods and act accordingly. Typically, they let you yell for as long as you need to then when they see you’re done they’ll try and soothe you or give you space, depending on what you need. But when they actually fight back, shit gets real ugly real fast.

You know Asra better than most people in their life; you know Asra better than their parents, you’re second only to Muriel. But Asra knows you too, knows you better than you know yourself sometimes, which means that when you’re both aiming to hurt, it’s all too easy to hit where it hurts for the both of you

G - Guilt (do they feel guilty over something? How do they handle that feeling?)

He’s still guilty for leaving you behind when he left Vesuvia during the plague; he will carry the guilt of your death with him for the rest of his life

H - heartbroken (have they had their heart broken before? Does their S/O have the power to break them?)

Absolutely yes to both. The first time they were heartbroken was the ‘deaths’ of his parents, then when Muriel was in the coliseum, then when you died. And yes, you absolutely have the power to break them; again, you know them better than practically everyone because they’ve never allowed anyone else to truly know them. They’ve given you so much power over them and they’re aware of it, but they gave it to you in the first place because they trust you won’t hurt them.

I - Insecurities

I honestly don’t think Asra is very insecure to be honest; I think he has his moments, like anyone else, but those are few and far between. I think he’d be insecure of leaving you behind and what happened, and afraid you’d leave him for his need to travel. He left you behind and you died; he’s terrified you think he’d leave you to suffer a similar fate again.

J - Jaded (how easily do they become jaded? How do they attempt to get out of that?)

Asra has been jaded for almost their whole life; orphaned and growing up with Vesuvia’s forgotten doesn’t lead to having the happiest outlook on life. Especially since they’ve seen firsthand how cruel the world can be with the Coliseum fights and how Muriel has been treated his entire life

K - killed (what have they killed? Figuratively or literally)

I don’t think Asra has ever killed someone literally. Hurt people before? Absolutely, a gang was after them as a child, so they were forced to be well-versed in self-defense, but never took a life. They definitely killed their morals when you were dead though; they crossed several lines they never wanted to cross before nor again to bring you back

L - lies (what lies do they tell their s/o? Are they a good liar?)

Asra is the best liar you’ll ever meet, but he absolutely hates lying to you. The lies he’d tell you were during your recovery, whenever you’d ask about your past or your memories; he lied only to protect you. After you prove you can finally handle your memories and your past, Asra stops the lies; if there's ever something he doesn’t want to tell you he either tells you he doesn't want to talk about it or deflects and changes the subject

M - mono (do they ever feel alone?)

Not post upright route, not anymore; they know by then that they have a lot of people in their corner, a lot of people in their life; more than they ever thought they’d have. They’re only alone when they want to be because they know they have plenty of people they can seek out if they feel lonely; you’re at the top of that list, of course

N - nightmare (what’s their worst fear?)

Death of a loved one

O - Obstacles (what things have they overcome? How much does it still affect them?)

He’s overcome a lot in his life. The loss of his parents, growing up a homeless orphan, teaching himself and Muriel magic, Count Lucio, the plague, losing you, beating the Devil; Asra has always been a survivor through and through. Of course some of that affects him still; he has nightmares, he has trust issues, he has issues expressing some emotions, but he has people wish shared experiences there and it helps

P - panic (do they panic easily? What instincts do they have? (fight flight, freeze, or fawn))

Asra is typically calm and collected damn near all times, so no, they don't panic very easily but when they do, their first instinct is flight. They avoid conflict whenever possible

Q - quiet (secrets they have)

I don't think Asra would like keeping secrets from his partner, especially after knowing you for almost a decade. I think Asra has things he hasn't told you yet, most likely pertaining to his childhood as one of Vesuvia’s orphaned children, but most likely it's because he doesn't want to acknowledge just how rough his childhood actually was or maybe the right moment to bring it up just hasn't happened

R - rejection (how do they handle rejection of any sort? Have they had a big moment of rejection?)

Asra handles rejection pretty well; they travel a lot so they meet plenty of new people but that also means that if they get rejected they can just leave lmao. If the rejection happens in Vesuvia, they’ll be a good sport about it and won’t make anything awkward, they know they’re not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea and they’re cool with it. They appreciate the honesty too

S - separation (how would they react to a S/O breaking up with them? What would it take for them to break up with their s/o?

If you broke up with him, Asra would be absolutely crushed; he'd respect your decision, maybe try to ask if he'd done something to warrant the breakup, but if you tell him it's because you fell out of love or something he'd never recover; you would deadass never hear from Asra again. He loves you so much still that he can't be part of your life anymore, he can't just be a friend or someone you see every once in a while, it would destroy him; he'd leave Vesuvia all together and probably take Muriel.

I can't really see Asra breaking up with you; he loves you so much, it would take a lot to get him to consider ending it, but I can't think of anything specific

T - trust (how do they break their s/o’s trust? How easily is their trust earned/broken? How would they react to being betrayed?)

Asra's trust takes a long time to earn, so I think it's pretty hard to break. But once it's broken, Asra would never be able to trust you fully again. After the first time there's always going to be lingering doubt about you, I think. They may not even be entirely conscious of their wariness, but it's there all the same.

If you betrayed them, it would destroy them; just crush them completely. It depends on the betrayal itself, of course, but Asra would definitely run. Depending on what you did, they might come back, but it's entirely possible they won't.

Asra would treat your trust like it's fucking frost; the most delicate thing ever. They'd never ever willingly break it, not if they could help it; you mean too much to them for them to ever willingly hurt you

U - urges (what’s something they want but cannot have? Or something they lost and can’t get back)

Asra will always miss the person you used to be; the version of you he left behind. He loves the version of you he has now, he loves you more than he will ever be able to say, but some small part of him will always miss who you used to be, and some part of him will always grieve the love you had/could have had back then

V - volatile (how quickly do they anger? What do they act like when they’re angry?)

Asra doesn’t often get angry; it takes a lot to push them to that point, typically. If you want to them angry fast, bring them to Lucio; he’s practically the only one who can piss them off by merely being near them. Otherwise, it’s incredibly difficult, especially if it’s you that’s angering them. You, Murial, Nadia, and maybe Salim and Aisha are the ones they find it the hardest to get mad at; they love you too much.

But because it takes so much to anger them, when they finally let it out it’s very…explosive, but it’s their magic mainly that’s lashing out. Asra will shout a little, pace around aggressively, but will never really do more than that, and especially won’t get close to you when they’re mad.

W - weak (what makes them feel weak?)

Lucio, typically. He lied to him about his parents so easily, he blackmailed both Asra and Muriel without batting an eye, he killed thousands, you included, without even trying. And Asra couldn’t really do anything about it because, powerful magician he may be, he had no political power while Lucio was the Count. Lucio has hurt almost all of the people Asra cares about and he feels like he wasn’t able to do anything about it

X - X-ray (how readable are their emotions? How good are they at reading their s/o?)

Asra reads you like you’re a picture book tbh because to them, you might as well be. They knew you for several years before you lost your memories, you had to relearn practically everything and Asra was there for every single mood, they saw your new tells and expressions develop, so they know you practically better than you know yourself, meanwhile Asra themself is very difficult to read unless they’ve actively trying to display their emotions. They learned a lot on the streets and few of those lessons were kind.

Y - youth (what kind of childhood did they have? At home and at school)

At home, before the ‘deaths’ of his parents, Asra had a happy life; two loving parents and a home. Afterwards, he had no one and almost nothing, until he met Muriel. Safe to say the majority of his childhood and teenage years were really rough

Z - zero (what would they do if they lost everything)

I truly do not think Asra would survive that; losing everything, they could probably come back from, but losing their loved ones, all of them, would actually kill them.

[wosowrites]

They’re Gone Now (Jessie Fleming x Reader)

warnings: none

a/n: based off this request here

prompt: in which after magda and p leave, jessie is struggling, the reader and millie try to help her but little do they know, you’ve liked jessie for years now.

It was near close to impossible to not like Jessie Fleming. The team, Canadian and Chelsea always joked that "if you had a problem with Jessie you had a problem with thousands of people" but you liked to just say "if you have a problem with Jeff, you just have a problem." You and Jessie had been playing together for ten years now, having both gotten your senior call up for Canada at 15. You had never played on a team that didn’t have Jessie on it since then. Canada, UCLA, Chelsea, always together. So how could you not fall in love with her?

It had been a week since Pernille and Magda had left for Munich. Watching them leave felt like death for both you and Jessie. Niahm held it together more but you could tell in how much pain she was.

"It’ll be okay," she had said. "We’re orphans," you had answered, only half joking.

And then it was two weeks later, World Cup squads had been announced and you and Jessie were set to leave London to meet the CANWNT in Vancouver in two days. Most of the Chelsea girls were still in London, and they were the ones you texted when it had been two weeks since the departure of the team moms and Jessie was still grumpy and borderline hard to be around. It was nothing like her and it broke your heart to see her like that.

You had tried everything. Cooking and baking for her, holding her as she cried, putting on her favorite movies, buying her flowers but nothing worked. You hadn’t told Magda and Pernille about Jessie’s behaviour because you didn’t want to make them feel guilty.

"Hey Elysse," you said, holding up the phone to your face. "How is she? Bring her home, y/n/n," she said, looking sad. Elysse was Jessie’s favorite person in the world, tied with you of course.

"I will. Two days and you’ll be with her. I just don’t know what to do. She’s barely getting out of bed. It’s so not like her," you said. Elysse smiled sadly at the camera. "How much have you slept, y/n?" she asked as Logan showed up in the frame. "Like… 6 hours in the past three days or something. I just can’t sleep knowing she’s not doing well," you mumbled, crashing down onto the couch.

"Tell her how you feel."

Elysse’s words caught you off guard, and for a second you thought you miss heard her. "Go again?" you asked, sitting up a little. "Tell her how you-" Elysse went to repeat her words but you cut her off quickly. "Stop that. Stop it," you said quickly before lowering your voice. "You shouldn’t even know that. No one knows. No one," you said to her in a hushed voice. "I can tell when someone likes my sister," the younger girl said. "Well- maybe I will. Whatever. I’m gonna go pack our bags,"

Elysse bid her goodbyes and then you hung up, but you were quickly on the next call. You clicked on Millie’s contact and the phone rang for about ten seconds before she answered.

"You never ever call. What’s up?" she said before another voice chipped in. "Hey Canada!" a voice said. "Canada? Which one. Small or not so?" yet another voice.

"Oh sorry, you’re busy i’ll call someone else," you said. "No! No it’s just Rachel and Leah. What’s up?" Millie asked.

You quickly gave her a recap of current events with Jessie, closing your explanation with: "I think she needs a little tough love. Like motivational speech type of shit. But a little meaner because she needs to snap out of this," you said.

Millie thought for a second before answering. "Okay. I’ll come over but I need to bring dumb and dumber," she said. "HEY!" Leah yelled in the background of the call. "No problem,"

You hung up and tried to tidy the place quickly.

You then did what you had told Elysse you would do and got out two suitcases. You packed everything you would both need considering you were going to be Down Under in the summer and it would be crazy warm. Both suitcases were half packed by the time the doorbell rang. You stood up and quickly opened the door. "Mills thank you so much, I don’t know what to do. I just- she just sits there all sad and tired and I’m so-" you started ranting until Millie wrapped you into a tight hug. "Hey, breathe. It’s okay. I’ll go see her, just, go lie down on the couch," Millie said. "I’ll make tea," Rachel said after giving you a small hug. "Do you wanna talk?" Leah asked, gesturing to the couch. "Yeah. Yeah sit down. You don’t need that weight on your leg," you said, quickly heading to the couch. "First door to the left right?" Millie asked. "Yeah," you answered as you sat down on the couch. Leah sat beside you and too say the least it was a little awkward. You had never played with her, only against, and as you both captained your country now it was a tad strange. "Thank you for being here. I know it’s weird," you said, playing with your fingers. "Hey, the rivalry can be put aside for an hour or two," she said to you kindly. "You should use your crutches," you told her. "You should join Arsenal," she snapped back with a smile. "Hey! What about the rivalry being put aside?" you fake pouted. "Sorry sorry. It’s all out now," she laughed.

There was a little silence, filled with the sound of the kettle boiling. "So… how long have you liked her for?" she said.

"Jesus. Everyone’s asking me that. I- I don’t. I mean it’s-" you started saying. "Hey. I’ve been there. The childhood best friend who your biggest fear is too loose but you just can’t help having feelings for. That’s like- my life story. We’re the same, you know. We’re very similar. Fleming is your Nobbs," she said to you kindly. "Yeah, I noticed it too y/l/n. Mostly because in every single interview of you and her you’re giving her fuck me eyes. And the hand placement doesn’t go unnoticed by the way," Rachel said from the kitchen. "Why are you watching interviews of us weirdo," you answered, trying to ignore the fuck me eyes comments.

Rachel looked away, trying to think of an answering before caving. "Uhm- a few of us have like… a group chat where we send edits we find of you two. It’s funny! And it’s cute it’s just-" Rachel said quickly. "A group chat! Who’s on it?!" you said a little loudly. "Are you mad?" she asked, brining you tea. You didn’t even like tea but saying that in a room full of brit’s wasn’t a smart move. "No. No i’m not. It does seem funny yeah but who’s on it?" you asked again.

"Listen, I know you’re not on tik tok but a lot of us are and we… you know we connect. Women’s football is like one huge gay club and you two are a pretty big ship. So it’s like almost just brit’s so… me, Millie, Leah, Lucy, Keira, Georgia, Niahm. We just think it’s cute! Okay. Oh yeah and uh- Millie added Magda and Pernille," Rachel said.

"You guys are insane," you groaned. "We talk about other things too!" Leah said.

But your brain went back to Jessie quickly after, as it always does. You stood up and started walking towards the door. "What are you doing?" Leah asked, looking at you. "It’s been 10 minutes. If Millie hasn’t gotten through to her now she won’t at all," you answered.

As you went to open the door, it opened before you could. In the doorway stood Jessie and behind her, Millie. Jessie had a towel slung over her arms and her hair was tucked neatly behind her ears.

Your face softened immediately in a way that would be impossible not to notice. "Hey, Jess. You okay?" you asked, looking at her softly. "Yeah. Yeah I’m gonna- what are Leah Williamson and Rachel Daly doing in our living room?" she asked in confusion, smiling at them awkwardly. "Heyy…" Leah said, waving. "Ignore them," you said, moving aside to let Millie slip out of Jessie’s dark bedroom. "I’m gonna shower. And then we can start packing, okay?" she said to you.

You nodded quickly and maybe a little aggressively. "Yeah! Yes. For sure," you said to her. She smiled at you, love in your eyes that you couldn’t see was there before moving past you to go to the washroom.

Once she closed the door to the washroom, you rushed to Millie and basically jumped in her arms. "What did you say to her?" you asked, pulling away. "It’s not important, she’s okay," the defender answered. "I could give you a kiss right now. Thank you so much," you hugged her again and she smiled. "Save that for Fleming," she smiled. "Oh my god. I know about the group chat by the way. Not cool," you said to her, smacking her arm playfully. "I gotta go unpack me and Jess’ suitcases so you guys can go now. Unless you want to stay. "Why are you unpacking?" Leah asked. "I don’t want Jessie to feel about being down for so long. She processed how she needed too and I don’t want her to see that I had just resorted to doing her things for her. It’ll make her feel bad and I don’t want that," you smiled. "You’re whipped," Rachel said. "How could I not be?"

After thanking Leah, Rachel and Millie for the thousandth time, they left and you kept your promise of unpacking.

You were quick to put the clothes you had snuck out of Jessie's bedroom as she slept back into the drawers. However she was also quick to get out of the shower. She caught you as you walked outside of her bedroom, steam pouring out of the shower. "What are you doing?" she asked, sounding gentle for what could be interpreted as harsh words. "Sorry. I was just seeing if you had my... Canada hoodie. I can't find mine." you said to her quickly. "I think its in the wash," she said.

But you barely heard her words as her wet hair was dripping down her bare shoulders and her body was covered only by a towel. "Uh- yeah," you answered, looking back up at her face. "Sorry," you said quickly, walking past her and into your own room.

You packed your suitcase quickly, not forgetting anything as you were pretty used to packing by now. Getting ready to prepare some kind of meal, you went to the kitchen only to find the fridge completely empty. In between caring for Jessie, worrying about Jessie and thinking about Jessie, groceries had been the last thing on your mind. You hurriedly wrote a note with a pen stating that you would be back with tacos for supper as soon as possible, and then you left.

Jessie, however, was pacing her bedroom in complete worry. Her mind was trying to tell her not to tell you how she felt, but her heart, man her heart was yelling for you. So, she did the only thing she knew how to do. Ask her sister.

Jessie: Follow your heart or you mind?

Elysse: Heart.

So that was settled. Jessie opened the door and walked into the living room and kitchen area. "Y/n?" She called out your name, looking around before seeing the note.

Jessie sat on the couch for twenty en minutes before it started pouring rain outside. You were extremely environmentally friendly and so she knew off the bat that you were stuck in the rain as the taco place you refused to drive too was a thirty minute walk.

It was an extra 20 minutes until the door of your appartement opened. You stood there, soaked to the bone and teary eyed as you held the paper bag containing the tacos that was basically reduced to paper pulp. "I- It started raining and the tacos im pretty sure are soggy and everything’s going wrong and i’m so sorry I just- i’m tired i’m really tired-" your rant got cut off by Jessie hurrying up to you and putting her hands on both sides of your face. "Hey. Breathe. It’s okay. I don’t care about the tacos I just care about you, and you are gonna catch a cold," she said, moving her hands to put the paper bag on the counter.

"I know you like those tacos and-"

"I’m not gonna let you cry over tacos," Jessie said, brushing droplets of water off your face. "I’m not crying because of the tacos i’m crying because I feel like I let you down. I let you be sad and I didn’t do anything for over a week-"

But you were silenced quickly when Jessie’s lips hit yours. She didn’t give you much though. A close lipped kiss as her hands roamed your wet abs. And that was it. She pulled away, stopping herself but not stopping you from slipping your hands under the waistband of her sweatpants. "Go change," she said to you gently. "I don’t want to change I want you to kiss me and never stop," you answered, looking at her lips. "Change. I want to hug you and hold you but it’s gross when you’re all wet," she said. "I’m wet anyways," you said, jokingly winking at her and making her mouth drop as she let out a laugh. "You’re funny. Go!"

So that’s what you did. You spent the night on the couch in her arms, holding her, kissing her and rubbing her back, just happy to be with her. She would be okay without Magda and P. And so would you. Did it hurt? Yeah. Did it hurt less with her? Yep.

[carnivorousyandeere]

Hihi! I always love seeing your zodiac yans being written about!

How do you think they would react to a darling that has recently been heartbroken and refuses to let them in? Just kinda open for any of the yans to be written in- even Quinn!

- cow anon 🐄

Goin with the fire sign zodiac yans just bc, but I’ll write the other signs sometime if they’re requested too. Just thought these three would be interesting to see in this situation. Written under the assumption of Darling and the Yans having been friends for a while, with the yandere tendencies and obsessions only beginning to arise…

Thank you for sending this in, and sorry for the long wait ❤️‍🩹

CW: alcohol, lack of boundaries, murder, mentions of sex but no smut

Kosuke pretends not to give a damn that you’re avoiding them— telling themself they’re too cool for you anyway, they don’t need you— but it’s a lie. The situation honestly pisses them off, especially if they don’t know why you’re being so ‘weird’ all of a sudden (they’re not the stalking type of yandere usually, so they really may not know why). They do get really pushy and demanding with you, basically forcing you to spill your guts about what’s up. Once you tear up and admit you’ve had your heart broken, they’re at a loss for words. They feel embarrassed and guilty about how they acted, but they’re definitely too prideful to apologize directly. They think they oughta be happy that there’s one less source of competition for them in your life, but seeing you so sad ruins any enjoyment they might get from it. Orders you food and (tries) to clean up around your place to help you out. Not the best at comforting, per se, but they’ll let you cry on their shoulder and shit talk whoever hurt you. Definitely thinks about beating the shit out of the other person, and depending on the circumstances, might actually hunt them down to teach them a lesson.

Jett doesn’t expect you to get over it quickly, but they do get impatient if you keep blowing them off to stew in your own misery. They firmly believe that you’re never gonna recover if you keep uselessly pining and mourning in your bedroom. You’re way too good to be heartbroken over some loser, anyway. If anything, you should celebrate being free from that nobody! They’ll take any chance they can get to drag you out with them— brunch, shopping, or especially partying. Maybe you’ll spill all the details if they get a few drinks in you, or if you’re just tired enough. Jett is plainly happy to have that worthless slime competing for your attention out of the picture— they should be the one in the center stage of your heart, anyway! They’re likely to flirt a little extra heavily and try to worm their way into being your rebound. Pretends like they were just kidding if you get annoyed by the flirting instead, but, like I said, they’re not patient— it burns them deeply inside.

Blake is the most hurt by you having feelings for another person, even if it was in the past, and you’ve since had your heart broken by that other person. If Jett and Kosuke get irritated and angry with you for pushing them away, respectively, Blake gets sad. They’re not used to outright rejection, especially from people they’re close to. They’re fun, they’re gorgeous, they’re kind (to anyone who isn’t a romantic rival, or who’s been a hater first)… and they just want to help you. They want to help take your mind off of things. Blake honestly, and with no self-awareness, manages to take a page from the water signs’ book and guilt trip you into feeling bad for not accepting their help and company to get you through your breakup. Most likely out of the three to kill whoever broke your heart and bury them out in the middle of nowhere, ‘just to be on the safe side,’ and also so they can truly feel like they “fixed” the source of your heartache by removing it from this world entirely. They don’t tell you, they just expect you to feel as if a weight’s been lifted from your shoulders in some mysterious, mystical way. They want to feel like they’ve fixed the problem as they hold you in their lap and look up at the stars, off-road on a spontaneous trip to bring you someplace fun. This is where their own impatience starts, if you ‘keep moping around’ when you ‘should be having a good time with them,’ similar to Jett.

As insensitive as it probably is (depending on the Darling’s personality, I suppose), Jett and Blake are also the types to suggest sleeping with them as a way to take your mind off things. Kosuke definitely thinks about it, but they’re trying to be more delicate with emotional matters with their Darling;;;