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#they'll die at my hands
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thinking about a whumpee on a forced march through rough terrain
hands tied in front of them, on foot while their captors are mounted, sleeping out in the open, forced to beg for adequate food and water
maybe they're barefoot, a captured royal in silken robes
maybe they're in a torn suit or soldier's uniform
maybe they were stripped at the start, increasing the exposure to the elements, the humiliation
are they a terrified mess from the beginning, or do they try to endure with dignity? how long before they're stumbling, barely putting one foot in front of the other? how long before they fall?
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bacchuschucklefuck · 23 days
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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skunkes · 16 days
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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shylittlefrogg · 11 months
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Maybe the mind forgets
but the heart doesn't.
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rabble-dabble · 6 months
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it took a lot of thinking to settle on knowing if i was a trans guy but what really solidified it to me was being unable to live with the thought of dying as anything but an old man. i can't imagine not having grey facial hair and old faded top surgery scars and maybe grandchildren who call me "grandpa". i just cant live with the thought of my gravestone having "daughter, wife, aunt, niece, grandmother," carved into it along with the name of a stranger. they can't ask me to die as a her. They won't kill me as a her. they wont bury me as a her. Its not fair. They can carve the wrong name into stone and dig up my bones and say "this skeleton makes a woman" but i assure you i'm going to die as a man with the name those close to my heart know me by. and i'm going to live long enough to meet him, the future version of me, because if theyre gonna try to bury me as a woman theyre gonna have to try and kill the man in me to do it. and ill cackle from my casket knowing they had to try to erase me in death because i wouldnt let them do it while i was alive. I wouldnt let them.
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think being mooted is a lot like being knighted :)
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distort-opia · 2 years
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Did Bruce abandon Joker believing he would die at the end of Joker’s War, or did he know Joker would escape somehow? I find the ending kinda vague and it upsets me greatly that Bruce would walk out like that. What is your take on this? I need to be believe their dance is not over!!
Hey! Short answer is no, Bruce explicitly makes sure Joker can escape:
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-- Batman (2016) #100
Bruce knew Joker had the tools to disarm the bomb. Him walking away was not leaving Joker to die, but rather something else. It's Bruce asserting a change in their dynamic, a refusal to play by Joker's rules. To put it bluntly... Batman and Joker are currently going through a bit of a divorce arc in the comics. I've talked about it in another meta, linked here. That answer goes into more detail, hope it helps with clearing it up!
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hidefdoritos · 2 months
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That's the thing about the bet in Las Nevadas 1, right from the outset: it never mattered who won.
Even if c!Q had lost, he could have walked out of there and never thought about that book again. What can c!Schlatt do to control him anymore? (Except sneer at him, and insult him, and beg and whine and cajole in that annoying fake-hurt tone that makes his stomach clench...)
And even though c!Q won, maybe he would have been desperately lonely enough to bring c!Schlatt back anyway, no matter how much he hates him. Maybe it was spite that fueled him, maybe he just wanted to prove that success wasn't a fluke. (Maybe it wasn't enough to say "fuck you" to a faded echo.)
Either way, he had a lot to prove and a void to fill, and even having a rotted heart in your chest is better than none at all.
Even though c!Schlatt lost, there was nothing c!Q could have done to force him to stay and work in Las Nevadas. He could have given him the middle finger, floated back to his gym, and drowned himself in protein shakes for eternity. (His grave is already drowing in piss, after all.)
And even if c!Schlatt had won, maybe he would have come to work at Las Nevadas anyway. Just to check in on his sugar pumpkin, make sure he's working. And hey, maybe he misses the view from behind. (Or the company. Or their inside jokes. Or the cute smile he never sees on that sliced-up face anymore.)
Either way, he's so, so alone, and it's all his fault, and he's not going back there.
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theinfinitedivides · 7 months
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they took out my other daddy cop. rip you were hot while it lasted
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moth-without-toes · 19 days
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not me wanting to vent and to feel comfort and be hugged by someone who doesn't yell at me over the tiniest things. not me wanting physical touch in general but also having select people from my friend group where i'm ok with it but also never asking for it because i don't want to seem clingy. definitely not nopeeeeeeeeeeee nopity not me here absolutely not.
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lovecracker · 1 month
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hiding for a minute while we get mobbed at work
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navree · 1 year
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i think the frankenstein version of dracula daily has arrived at the "justine is framed for murder and as such gets executed for it" portion which makes the petty part of me gloriously happy that a lot of people are going to finally realize that the creature is not, in fact, uwu soft baby and that he actively planted evidence on an innocent woman to get her arrested and then convicted and then executed for murder for absolutely no reason other than he felt like it because he's an asshole. and i'll finally get to see the death of "the creature did nothing wrong he's a sweet boy!" takes within my lifetime.
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angeltism · 8 months
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rot.ary di.al the aqua bpder song ever
#➳ the fool speaks#like me listening 2 that on repeat years ago while splitting on my fp back then .#putting aside all the story and stuff . those lyrics are basically just what it feels like splitting on someone . to me .#as well as some of my less normal/healthy ways of showing my devotion to those i care about#''call me call me baby - check me on the cheek and all night i'll wait for your reply''#and then ofc the ''i can't wait for you to die'' for the splitting obv .#''all the ones that i love have hung up the telephone time after time after time after time after-'' abandonment issues ++ bpd tend to go#hand in hand#''time and time again again i'll only speak to uu'' prioritizing uur fp above all others because they're OBVIOUSLY the most important perso#in uur life (and if uu don't talk to them right this instant they'll leave uu forever and hate uu and uu can't have that now can uu)#''and maybe uu should give me back the love i gave to uu'' feeling unloved and as though uur fp doesn't care about uu the way uu care abt#them (and if they don't have bpd or uu just . aren't their fp too . then yeah they most likely don't . ahahahah . ow .)#''i've given up on any kind of hope that's left for me'' the self awareness uu get at some point abt the fact uu are . well . Like This tm#and then the ''time is just a-ticking away now hey now for uu for uu'' more ''i hope uu fucking die'' splitting type stuff#''and after i've called uu for the 43rd time'' flashbacks to me desperately trying to talk to my fps over the years to no success .#and then more ''call me call me baby'' w affectionate words and the want/need for attention#''where are uu going my darling?'' fear of abandonment#''why do uu never talk to me'' as mentioned above being more prone to feeling neglected by uur fp if they aren't around as much as uu'd lik#''nevermore forevermore - love is nothing but a waste'' feeling like trying to connect w and maintain a relationship is . well .#a waste because of whatever reasons uu find applicable since there's like 100 uu could think of . purrobably .#and then the rest of the song is kinda just repeats of all these lyrics#ok nawt all of them but uu get the idea#like#damn#idk maybe it's just me but bpd song of all time . sort of . idk .#hap.py days too but that one iirc was Actually Written as a bpd song . this one is kinda just fitting even if on accident ??
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crazy-walls · 2 years
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inktober day 2
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synonymroll648 · 11 months
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absolutely evil fic idea! sophitz soulmates au where post-war they reconcile but also find out that fitz won't make it to 100 due to the severity of his shadowflux echoes and the reason sophie kept surviving seemingly impossible odds was because the black swan 'accidentally' made her immortal.
to make things extra cruel: consider how fitz canonically counts on having thousands of years ahead of him to build himself a future he enjoys, and how sophie canonically struggles w/ the idea of living forever due to her human upbringing (plus the canon-compliant possibility of her hearing ten bajillion tales growing up of how immortality is a curse) :D
#i love love love soulmate au's. usually for the fluff. but this. this...#this intrigues me conceptually so much that i think exploring it would be worth the pain#i have way too many wips rn to write this. but#that doesn't mean i can't share it w/ you guys :)#i just keep thinking of how the tables of 'fitz comforting sophie about living forever because he'll be there' will flip#and it could flip in SO many ways#it could be sophie comforting fitz about death being inevitable because she grew up around death#and knows that death can be a well deserved (fairly) happy ending if fate is kind enough and you play your cards right#but it could also be them being so so so openly envious of each other's lifespans#like we could have a screaming match in the dead of night where fitz is like#how the FUCK is it fair that we both have echoes but I'M the only one that's doomed to die young because of them? how the HELL do you have#ANY right to speak on this? on how i should deal w/ having THOUSANDS OF YEARS RIPPED OUT OF MY HANDS?#and sophie's like well i don't know fitz! how the FUCK is it fair that you're the one that gets to have a finish line? how the HELL am i#supposed to be happy about NEVER getting to stop? about ALWAYS having to be the moonlark? about INEVITABLY LOSING EVERYONE I LOVE BECAUSE#THEY'LL BE DEAD?#honestly you could have both. you SHOULD have both. imo. hurt/comfort babyyyyy#also. if you want. you can have this be a thing where the immortal falls in love w/ the same soul again#but fitz never comes back as an elf. always something mortal#also when fitz dies. having a throwback to the search and having one of them go 'fuck time. fuck death. i'll find you again and again'#less 'death cannot do us apart' and more 'death can only separate us temporarily'#also. sophie having to watch fitz deteriorate from the golden boy she knew to barely hanging on to life. and fitz having to deal w/#sophie never changing in any physical way#don't you love feeling sad guys? angsty if you will? /t#sophitz#sophie foster#fitz vacker#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc fic idea#sophitz fic idea
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