#they're so important to me you don't even understand

[xiao-come-home]

Giggling, kicking my feet, spinning in circles over Boothill...

Just imagine, S/O in a creative field, and they've been preparing for an event where they get to show off their work..

Except, they've been doing it in secret because they don't feel confident and they're unsure if people would stop by for them..

So cue S/O's surprise when they suddenly bump into Boothill at said event—maybe even burst into (happy) tears if he praises their work.. I just know this man's the sweetest for his S/O ;;;-;;;

YUEESS anyway this got kinda long but take it 🫡

You knew the day was coming - the day so, so important in your career that could possibly shift everyone's opinion about you and your hard work. Day after day, more preparations were made, and people who assisted you kept patting your shoulder as you walked by, already congratulating you.

Yet, amongst all of the joy - your hesitation was certainly present. No one close to you knew about the event - not even the closest people, not even Boothill himself, who was your significant other. Even though so many already praised you - just what meaning does it hold if no one actually shows up to the event itself?

The lack of confidence and worrying were the only ones that bothered you to no end - which, Boothill noticed immediately as it was not your usual behavior. Not only were you constantly busy and away from home when he finally got back, but you were constantly stressed out. He tried not to pressure the matter as you were unwilling to talk, but that's Boothill we're talking about - which means - time for Boothill to snoop around and find out himself.

Today is the day. The day you anticipated so much, but also dreaded to finally have it happen. You hop onto the stage, and gasp at the amount of people below. You can't count the amount of eyes that gaze at you, and people seem to be genuinely impressed at your work - applauding loudly, causing you to tear up on stage.

That's a shame you haven't noticed the familiar cyborg who's been watching you the whole time, smiling widely to himself.

Once the official part is over and the festivities begin, people swarm around you to ask you more about your work or actual interviews, but you gently excuse yourself for now under the excuse of being tired. Surprisingly, the crowd goes away, but they'll surely be back...

You breathe in and out, shaking your head from all the attention, but suddenly, you bump hard against something and your hands automatically cover your poor nose; the pain makes you cry under your nose a tiny "oww," just what the hell is that pole here? Was there one before?!

"Ouch! 'm sorry sweetheart! Thought ya would finally notice me, but not that kinda way..." Boothill's voice reaches your ears and you open your eyes in the span of seconds, "I can't believe ya didn't tell me about all of this! A god dang event just for you, and those little motherfudgers that barely let me in, let alone get closer to ya—"

Boothill takes your hands off your face in his, pressing a soft kiss on your nose, "I didn't know my sweet pea was so smart," his voice gets softer and quieter, eyes gazing into yours, "I'm so proud of ya. I really wish you've told me about this, so we could be properly celebratin' this together."

You no longer could fight your tears and let them run down your cheeks, "I'm sorry, I didn't— I didn't think anyone would even show up," you sobbed, "I didn't even know if I could get through this if—" your sentence gets cut off by Boothill's fingers pushing your chin up and staring at you with ungodly amounts of love in his eyes.

"Silly you," he wiped off the tears with his hand, "of course they'd come. They did. So many people are here just for you, admirin' yer work and almost fightin' to say a word to ya. I know ya often doubt yourself, but, as you can see," Boothill looks behind you and see people fawning over your projects, "there's no need for it. You deserve all of this, sweetheart, even if I can't understand a single fudgin' word. You put yer entire heart into this - I see it, love."

Boothill's words only make you cry harder, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly - but this time, your tears are those of joy.

After calming down, you sit nearby with Boothill next to you. Sparing him a glance, you confusingly mention the new hat he's wearing, "Ha! Took ya long enough to see! It worked as intended - ya didn't know it was me back there, in the crowd!" He exclaimed proudly, sending you a smug grin.

[mariii1]

🧚🏾‍♀️Messages From Your Queer Ancestors✨

I'm backkkkk, check Patreon for my extended general version of this reading!

AHHHH I'm so excited to launch my Patreon, you guys don't even know about all the ideas I have lined up and I'm sure there's more to come as this month goes on! Anyway these photos are all from pinterest buttt see if you can guess who's a very important figure and whyy 😽

1. So a few of you in this pile are trying to force yourself to forgive qhen you don't actually want to (or need to) and for the rest you're almost bulldozing over your identity and how it's affected you. I have a feeling you hang around people who don't know about your identities and would outright make fun of you or disrespect you in some way because of it. Your ancestors are way more sad than angry; if anything they're sad that these people are around you and they're sad that you don't honor or place importance on those aspects of your identity enough to walk away from them. Some of you might believe you'll never find people who truly accept and understand all these aspects of you so you've completely given up on it. Your environment might now is definitely very homophobic/transphobic or just xenophobic in general. While you might've been born in these environment or have had to stay in it, your queer ancestors want you to believe in yourself and in your queer identities; those aspects matter just as much as other parts of yourself. They want you to focus on creating an exit/escape plan out of this situation and to find the strength and hope in you to believe you will be able to find the right people one day instead of just completely shutting this idea out.

2. Things are going to change for you very, very soon. Some of you may be doubting a partner or a close friend in terms of loyalty or how much they love/respect you, but you'll soon realize these are just fears with no real basis. You will hit the jackpot somehow or you'll realize you have already in some area of your life. If you're financially broke right now, there's an idea or action you take that'll be the jackpot literally in terms of money and its something you didn't expect to happen, or at least to such a large degree. Keep doing what you're doing and the truth will be revealed to you soon.

3. I feel like me and your queer ancestors would've been good buddies and they've been so nice to me since the beginning of this reading. You're blessed spirituality in terms of family even if your immediate family right now is dog shit. You all however are really tired. I'm getting for most of you this isn't necessarily physically but more tired of people trying to fuck you over or fuck with you in general. You might've had to cut a lot of people out and seek justice or revenge in some way; ways that might be very tedious or draining like filing paperwork, legal battles, etc. I'm sincerely sorry if you have experienced some form of assault especially sexual assault please rest assured you will get justice whether through the system or not. You feel really tired pile 3 and this might sound infantilizing but I mean it in the sweetest way, you need a hug. You need someone to be understanding of you and you might wish you had someone physical to rant to. This might not bring you much comfort but your ancestors are watching your struggles and they wish they could coddle and baby you. A few of them see you as a baby and it breaks their heart that their baby is so stressed out 🥹 they are still proud of you and are rooting for you ad wish to send you lots of money so you can focus on self-care. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it pile 3!

4. Some of you feel very stagnant or just stuck in a situation especially financially. You might've realized something was a scam or actually wasn't going to lead to anything more; this could be about staying at a toxic workplace in hopes of getting a promotion or being transferred to a better team. I'm also having a hard time focusing on your reading so you might just be feeling overwhelmed or scattered. You realized a situation would never get better but now you don't know what to do or you've convinced yourself you have no other options left that are any better. However, I'm getting this really isn't true and it might take a drastic change in your mindset in order to see the potential of other possibilities. This could be realizing going back to school or learning a trade might not be so bad or that maybe relying on online income (influencing, youtube, etc.) Could actually be a real plan. These are just examples but your queer ancestors are really begging you to try and think outside of the box and realize "standard" job opportunities might not be as reliable as they seem and that options that seem very flaky, can be very stable if you put in the work.

[fatuismooches]

I feel like fragile!reader would be genuinely upset with how literally none of the segments spend time with them. Or even try to make time with them. Especially Prime. Like, there's like 20+ of them, not even 1 can spend at least 15 minutes with them? Me, personally, I wouldn't leave my lover to fend off with themselves after 400+ years of silence. Maybe that's just me though...

Oh fragile reader would absolutely be crushed. In the beginning, you would be delighted by all the attention you got, considering you just woke up. But as time goes by, it slowly changes. Obviously, you know that the segments have a lot of work to do, and you don't expect them to spend hours with you, but there are days you struggle to even get ten minutes of attention. Yes, you know they're busy, their research is incredibly engrossing, they have a lot on their plate, but you were their lover. The one who loved them above anything else, and the one they loved more than anything too, well, supposedly.

Their actions just don't show it sometimes, and it hurts you. You're confined to your body, to the lab, you're not like them. Sure, you have some things to keep you occupied, but you aren't free to do what you want, because you literally can't. That's why their company is so desperately important to you, but it seems like you're cursed enough to not even receive that. Prime has no place to talk because he does the same thing as them at times. You love them so, so much, and you do acknowledge how much work they have but... it sincerely gets to you and yet they seem not to understand. Yeah, you love burying yourself into one of your interests, but you need interaction from time to time, something that's sorely different from Dottore.

The only segment that always has time for you is Zandy of course, and while you love him dearly, you just wish you could spend some more time with one of your lovers. I imagine you start finding a lot of solace in your Harbinger friends, like Bina, Pantalone, and Childe, because for some reason despite how busy they are too, whenever they come over, they always make an effort to speak with you. Columbina often visits solely for you. You tell her all about your feelings and she comforts you, without interrupting or brushing you off. The segments would start getting annoyed by how happy you are around them, until you snap that they actually make time for you unlike them (argument time.)

You don't expect Dottore or the segments to be perfect lovers. You just expect them to try, because Tsaritsa knows how much you've tried for them.

(This would make for a really good angst fic, but I don't think I have the heart to write it.)

[mesetacadre]

On Spain, Palestine, and socialdemocracy

I'm sorry to my spanish-speaking friends but this post is mostly meant for the various people who aren't that familiar with Spanish politics so they fully understand the context of Spain's recognition of Palestine, so it'll be written in English instead of Spanish.

Ever since the Spanish government decided to recognize Palestine, amongst other events, I've seen many friends celebrating. This is normal, of course, but the over-enthusiasm makes me think some of you are lacking context.

First, the arms trade. At least since 1995, Spain has sold arms, munitions, explosives, and vehicles to Israel, according to the government's own sources. The total value of arms and munitions exports since 1995 amounts to 36,616,066.21€ ($39,730,901) and 800,417.6kg (1,764,616.6 pounds). The total of "airships and spatial vehicles" amounts to 233,622,074.13€ ($253,495,704.46). Officials have repeatedly stated that, since Oct 7 2023, there have been no arms sales to Israel. However, in November of 2023, this website shows an arms export worth 987,000€ ($1,070,961.56) in the subcategory of "bombs, grenades, torpedoes, missiles". In December of 2023 there is another export with the same category as the last one worth 125,240€ ($135,893.85). The government has stated that the November export was made up of "medium caliber munitions without explosives" (which is weird that it was classified under bombs, grenades, torpedoes and missiles but whatever) and that it had already been agreed upon before Oct 7th. I'm sure that the Palestinians appreciate the munitions they are being killed with do not explode, and that the 552kg (1,216.95 pounds) of "gunpowder and explosives" exported in 2023 will also go very well with those non-explosive munitions. And, regardless, we all know that the Palestinian genocide did not start last October. This is also just the publicly available data, but I think we can trust them to be honest :)

For some context on the political situation. In July of 2023 we had general elections in which a coalition government was formed. The biggest party in this coalition is the PSOE, the president's (Pedro Sánchez) party, a socialdemocratic party that has governed on-and-off since the establishment of the current liberal democracy in 1978, this will be important later. The other member of this coalition is Sumar, a further-left socialdemocratic party that is itself a broader coalition of almost all parliamentarty "leftist" groups, such as IU (United Left) and the PCE (Spanish Communist Party, don't get too caught up on the name because their eurocommunist turn in the 60s has rendered then just another socdem party). The election was very closed and the coalition was almost not formed, and in the end PSOE had to reach an agreement with the pro-Catalan independence parties. All of this means that it has been a weak government without much cohesion, which in turns means every member of the coalition has been doing everything they can to reinforce their position. One example of this was Pedro Sánchez's letter contemplating resigning because of the verbal attacks he and his wife had been recueveing from the opposition. That letter forced every entity in the parliamentary and even some in the extra-parliamentary left to express support for Sánchez, and after announcing he would not be resigning, polling shows support for his government increased, though this is disputed by some and I'm suspicious of it myself.

Anyhow, this is important because the parties that make up the government are being very conscious about their support, more than usual. The decision to finally recognize Palestine (and I'm not even getting into the Palestinian National Authority, which is what they're actually recognizing) comes in this context of insecurity regarding their support, and comes after weeks of encampments and other protests in universities across the entire country. The continued arms exports, the delay in taking the decision and the context of the decision makes it quite obviously an opportunistic move to garner support. But is the recognition actually meaningful for Palestinians suffering a genocide? Barely. It might pave the way for Palestine's inclusion in the UN (the US will veto anyway) (and it's not like the UN can do more than stern condemnations). What does not change is the continuous arms exports since at least when export data was first published, and the commercial relations the government and Spanish monopolies have with Israel, all of which allow Israel to carry out genocide. And even if Spain had never sold even a grain of gunpowder to Israel, and even if no economic relations had ever been established, Spain is an important member of NATO and the EU.

A few days ago it was 43 years since Spain officially joined NATO in 1982 without a referendum, since polling showed only 18% supported joining NATO, and 52% outright opposed it. It was only 4 years later, in 1986, when PSOE carried out a referendum on remaining in NATO (note: the PSOE had gone from fully opposing NATO membership when they were in the opposition to defending it after winning the elections). The question was "Do you consider Spain remaining in the Atlantic Alliance under the terms agreed upon by the Nation's Government to be convenient". This question did not actually say "NATO" (OTAN in Spanish) and it did not make clear what people were actually voting on. 52.24% voted yes. One of the unwritten prerequisites for joining the EU in 1985 was to also be a member of NATO.

NATO is an imperialist alliance that has always defended the continuity of Israel, and its member states have always supplied it with the resources necessary to displace, opress, and kill the Palestinian people. The economic benefits of this fact permeates the economy of every NATO member state. The same goes for the EU, which is one of the most significant trade partners of Israel. And the increase of intensity in the genocide Israel commits is happening parallel to the EU's turn towards a military economy. For example, the European Stability Mechanism, founded in 2011, has given the EU member states 400,000,000,000€ ($434,059,923,120) to invest in the "defense" industry and the "green transition". The European Commissioner Thierry Breton said in early April of this year that "we need to change the paradigm and transition to the mode of war production", amongst other warmongering statements by European leaders. Denmark, Sweden, the Netherlands and Germany have already expanded military service. This is all, of course, driven by the interimperialist war in Ukraine, but the investment in the war industry will undoubtedly continue to fuel Israel's occupation.

There is no group within the Spanish parliament (and very few outside the parliament) that even begins to question NATO and EU membership. The government can get away with this apparent pro-Palestine (more like two-state solution but that's beyond the point) posturing because regardless of Spain's own exports and positions, its membership in NATO and the EU will be the most relevant factor in its ties with Israel. Recognition of a nation as a "legitimate" country does not have a material effect on the Palestinians' situation, and the unquestioned participation in these imperialist alliances does. PSOE's slogan for next week's European elections is "More Europe". Do not let empty actions distract you from the real facts of Spain's unbroken complicitness in this genocide

[fictionfixations]

tamashina-mina event (aka the sunset savanna jp event)

so anyway because i cant read jp (the translated vid is in parts so thats why im posting multiple links)

leona brushes it off but

so LISTEN. The chamberlain whatever his name is isn't happy with Leona for not putting his intelligence to help the country

but when he DOES provide an idea (aka actually mining the mineral resources) its shrugged off because they're all for being with nature

so what im understanding is leona is proposing to actually make use of what the land has to, yes, make a profit, but also it could help with all loads of things? like spreading water to be a little more easily obtainable once having the funds to idk throw away money for the good of the people (i mean. they're already rich aren't they? i don't really get it but also the world runs on money. i dont know if there are any benefits to it just sitting there, or if there are cons to digging them out or not but leona seems very passionate about it.)

but so its like this then

where if its not modernized then people will just. not live modernized. and i get that ig, wanting to live with nature (well not really but i mean its all down to preference isnt it? which im not an outdoor person so uh)

maybe it'll make more sense in the EN version (whenever it comes). or maybe i need someone to dumb it down to me like im 5.

but anyway you see my point right?? Leona provides an idea (is very invested in it) that goes to the good of the kingdom (making more profit but its also like they dont have to mine ALL of it he at least just wants them to make use of it at least instead of not even touching it)

and then it gets shot down because. basically. tradition. ???

anyway heres my idea: if someone like Ruggie Bucchi can exist (i mean as in someone born in a poor environment) in the Sunset Savanna, then clearly there can still be something done to keep people healthy and in comfortable situations without compromising idk the beauty of also being able to live with nature at the same time? to help make it a bit more convenient in the process at least? (like there could be a system that brings them water, but it could still be in a well so they can still do that process by hand, there will just be more water so they dont have to worry about idk running out? i dont know how wells work but i imagine they can run out eventually)

and if anyones like 'oh but we wont make a profit' then propose ANOTHER way we can make big income. aka MINING the MINERAL resources so it could be like nothing even changed or that we might be even making more than we usually are (but also probably supervised so they cant take advantage and just i mean get rid of the entirety of it? cause. its.. important right? so some but not all.)

maybe i just dont understand this, maybe im biased towards leona who knows, but i kind of also feel like its dumb to just brush it off. and i mean who knows maybe hes proposed it many times before, maybe hes shown them so many ideas and proofs and proposals related but they mightve been flawed in some way i dont know and thats why they refuse. who knows. it just rubs me the wrong way

its also kind of related to people brushing off leona just as being lazy and stuff like that (also did you know he only failed ONE year? he joined NRC a year late) but leona isnt really doing anything to try to change peoples perceptions of him because 'thats what they think of me, why should i bother?' like people hating on him for being [something something] compared to falena so then just. takes that in and is like 'okay so people think of me this way. if thats how they view me, then whatever.' hes still very competitive and all that stuff but theres also apathy in 'people will think whatever they want of me, why should i even try to change it?' (and hes probably heard all kinds of things at a young age that really stuck with him and shaped who he was. which goes from being really hurt by it to not even caring about peoples opinions anymore. dont get me wrong it can still affect him because the part of him that got hurt by it the first time is still there but yknow)

but so then the chamberlain is like 'why dont you use your smarts for the country'

and leonas just like

THEN SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NOT SAY SUCH THINGS??? (you knew him as a kid surely you could do something) like. theres. just. such an utter lack of trying to convince him otherwise. and i guess to him it would sound so fake so he might not be convinced at all. but then if you stop trying at all then he'll think that he was right in what he thought people thought of him and wont try to correct anyone. or in fact will correct anyone if they think positively of him.

i mean theres also not wanting to say it in front of other people. but. listen. if youre afraid of what the people think then it will affect the other negatively.

like for example if you try not to do lovey-dovey stuff in public then your lover will naturally feel like youre just trying to hide them away. or that you might feel ashamed.

so if the chamberlain tries to convince him when they're in private but in public he doesnt. then you can see what kind of conclusion leona would come to, right?

its kind of a tough situation because i honestly dont know what youd do in that situation. its just. i feel like they could communicate better. that there could be things to be done and it just frustrates me.

yes he does go on to say that leona is strong

and that he believes in him basically but

it just. doesnt feel like enough. and it could definitely be on leona for also not being willing to listen so hh. and i also get the chamberlain has a lot of responsibility so he cant just be there all the time and everything hfeuishfdi

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

more Buddie confirmation right in front of our salads

More space/universe aka future:

Not to mention, Christopher has the bag, then Buck, and then Buck hands it to Ramon. Son to Buck to another father.

In the same episode that we get a dinner date (with Buck cooking) between Buck and Tommy:

Buck: "So maybe we both have Daddy issues." Tommy: "I don't." Buck: "But you think I do?" Tommy: "God, I hope so."

The very next scene is Eddie talking to his parents and we get:

Ramon: "Fathers are human. Sons don't always handle this news well." Eddie: "I'm not letting him run away from home because he's mad at me." Ramon: "Your son is trying to tell you what he needs. Don't wait 30 years before you listen. You'll regret it."

So in this episode we have:

Bobby's life on the line

A grandfather trying to get revenge for his grandson (after mentioning his own son/their relationship in the last episode we saw him in)

Buck talking about how Bobby is like a father to him

Tommy saying he doesn't talk to his dad; that he only had Gerrard (which was a very weird statement to me until I saw the end of the episode and went "aha!")

Christopher refuses to talk to Eddie because he's angry and hurting; he even called his grandparents to come get him so he can stay with them for a while

Ramon giving Eddie advice to let Christopher go because it's what he needs, coming from the perspective of his own regret with how he handled things with Eddie

Bobby (Buck's dad) being replaced by Gerrard (a former captain of the 118 - there's that Ramon/Eddie parallel again btw - and who Tommy "looked up" to)

Bobby not having been honest with the 118 about a decision he'd made; Eddie not having been honest with Christopher about Kim (well, I should say that Christopher found out about anyway) - both fathers/father figures

This all leads to: Fathers & Sons (as well as the theme of family)

But it's also important that this episode reaffirms Buck as Christopher's other parent (in the present). Yes, we been knew on this point already. It's been hammered home and hammered home time and time again. But it's literally confirmed in this episode right in front of our faces. Not because Eddie called Buck to talk to Christopher but because of the literal passing of the backpack which is sporting a theme that has been featured for Buddipher before (future).

From Christopher (the son):

To Buck (another son/father):

To Ramon (another father whose son's heart is breaking as he's losing his own son):

Buck doesn't hand the backpack to Helena or even Eddie (so Christopher will need to retrieve it from him/talk to him). He doesn't place it down on the ground or on thee couch (which btw he oh so conveniently sits on the arm of it earlier in the episode in the scene where Eddie begs him to intervene with Christopher). He hands it right to Ramon who then shoulders it.

So not only does this confirm that yes, Buck has daddy issues and that he can identify with Christopher (based on what he went through, his understanding now, and his own evolved relationship with his parents), but he is indeed the second parent.

In the same season we saw both the Buckley parents and the Diaz parents resurface, when Buck and Eddie are going through their own journeys of some deep inner reflection.

Guys, I don't know how else to say this but we are at that point. Looking at everything from above, we are literally this close. It's either make or break time coming up soon in the narrative. They're not even being coy or subtle about it anymore. That's not dunking on BuckTommy btw (there is a reason Buck and Tommy have graduated from the beer prop to the wine prop this episode - think Taylor/Abby/Shannon/Ana, etc.). That relationship still needs to be seen through and obviously, Eddie still has some more grief and things to work through, but they literally have Buck and Eddie's narrative circling each other. Eddie didn't ask Marisol for help on this one - he went straight to Buck. He also didn't try to shoulder it alone - he immediately called Buck. Hence Buck mentioning to him that Christopher can't keep Eddie out of his room and Eddie's response to that. If you think back to how far we've come with Eddie and his character development: learning to ask for help when he needs it, not taking on everything alone, being able to admit when he has a problem/struggle...it is phenomenal that Eddie called Buck up immediately to get him over there to help with Christopher. Not that he hasn't trusted Buck with Christopher in the past, not that he doesn't truck Buck implicitly as his best friend and shift partner, but he literally realized in 0.02 seconds that he fucked up and called the one person he not only knew could get through to Christopher (if anyone could) but also would help him in this situation. Buck may have known about Kim but now so does Marisol, and it's obvious that Marisol has a relationship with Christopher as well. She may be hurt and angry with Eddie, but if Eddie asked her to talk to Christopher, if she knew how dire this was for Christopher, I'm not sure she would have told Eddie "tough, you cheated on me, screw you".

But regardless of what Marisol would have or wouldn't have done, the point is, Buck is there as Other Dad and it's confirmed right in front of our salads. And then the partner/parent confirmation:

And if you need confirmation that props, blocking, and framing are a thing, look at the picture behind Ramon and Helena. Texas. Exactly where Christopher is going. Look at the open front door and the open door leading to the kitchen, purposely in the shot as Eddie kneels down to talk to Christopher, telling him he can always come back. Look at the fireplace (aka theme of home/hearth) Buck is standing in front of as he watches the scene unfold. Look at the way they framed Ramon and Helena vs Buck and Eddie. Ramon, Eddie's father, is on the right and Eddie, Christopher's father is on the right. They even touch in a similar manner (with less space between Ramon and Helena obviously). They even make sure to cement that connection of the two fathers in the shot of Ramon looking at Eddie, still shouldering the backpack, and closing the door. They even have Buck with his hands in his pockets and Eddie is about to do the same until Helena reaches out for Eddie's hand.

Framing.

Blocking.

Props.

Christopher is Eddie's son, his future. His future who just walked out the door with his grandparents. It's all there. I mean:

The same episode that mentions lost romantic partners: Ayanna, Emmett, and Shannon. Amir helps people. Athena has Bobby. And Eddie has...?

Amir + Ayanna = AA (he lost her in a fatal fire but she was the love of his life) Athena + Bobby = AB (they've both lost people but are now together and going strong) Eddie + ? = E?

The same episode where Maddie and Chim take in Mara temporarily until Hen and Karen can get her back to complete their family and we also see a scene between Bathena and the kids being grateful that they have each other.

The same episode where the two couples (Madney and Henren) are having a dinner together (the takeout) and so are Buck and Tommy (that Buck made).

The only person without a romantic partner this episode with this shared theme of dinner and prop of wine (for romance and family meals) was Eddie. He had no partner.

Or did he?

[aguzluv]

came here to rant about helluva boss because some of the ppl I had read is just DUMB

cw//helluva boss spoilers

tw//discussion about power dinamics and prostitution

Stop reading Blitzø and Stolas as individuals only!!!

It's easy to forget because it's not a big part of the show (it is tho) but there's a social context surrounding their relationship and they're not just two dummies unable to communicate they're a prince of hell and an imp (the lowest demon class)

Some people really just plain out forget Blitzø just saw their relationship as something transactional, he was maintaining his sexual encounters with Stolas because it was needed for his business to work, god you saw how scared he got when he thought it would lose his tool, he has people depending on him to live!

I know it's easy to read their relationship as a simple miscommunication thing, I know it's easy to put Stolas into the victim play, because the series kinda does it, but I beg you all to understand that there's no real victim in this situation, and if there's one it's not Stolas.

The social class in demon society exists and it's proven to be important, royal demons can easily eliminate lower classes demons, blitz it's under a power dinámica where he got zero power at a material level.

Yes he was a dick, I'm not saying he's the best demon out there, I don't even like him most of the time.

But to read all of those post showing him as if he was the worst just because he saw his prostitution as a transaction (IT WAS) and not a call to a serious relationship, you can't be for real, I just don't believe it.

Blitz never, never! saw their relationship as something more but a pay to play, Stolas catch feelings and entered a one way relationship without even explaining it to him.

I want to point out that all of this started with the circus episode, before that there was no shown of their relationship as something else but a sexual deal to kept the I.M.P working.

I'm just saying this because it pains me to see so many people just entirely ignoring the context behind their deal, I hate to see so many people painting blitz like the obvious bad guy just because Stolas had one good action towards him born from his own selfish wishes (that aren't bad, he's sweet, kinda).

And I'm not even going to talk about the trauma part of their characters, that's another rabbit hole I'll probably enter other day.

Anyway, rant over, if you got here, hello I'm aguz :3 I'm twenty two and I kind draw, sometimes...

[mezmer]

And before I say another word, I will always feel nothing but empathy for those who suffer chronic pain and I only wish I could make a difference and support these people because I know how much it means to them. Jjahaahaha why the fuck is it so hard for people to talk with me about scoliosis. Epilepsy they're all ears asking me questions. And women with Endo? LOOOVE to talk about their condition. Haa. And of course I genuinely, organically, love to listen to others talk about their chronic illnesses because I know how important it is, and I'm interested to hear their experiences. No hate on women with endometriosis. They just love to talk about it especially when people listen intently. It just hurts so bad how hard it is to get even my own family to give a single fuck beyond "I'm sorry wow changes subject immediately" or "yeah I knew a girl with that back in high school" shit blows my mind. I'm not selfish for wanting an ounce of attention paid to it because I've hardly ever gotten that. I connected to my friend with scoliosis who died of an overdose. Fleetingly, a five minute conversation that meant the entire world, I could cry. The face she made, while telling me what I already know, my truth per se she lived all the same and she lost the battle. God bless her soul and her daughter who lives on. Plus my spinal therapist, Isabella and Ravi, and that is it.

Haha I've known women with scoliosis who are so turned off by me trying to connect. John tells me, well maybe you shouldn't dwell on it. When the fuck do I? Yeah, right now on my tumblr. Irl I dont say a fucking word because nobody has ever cared.

Oh my God, so worth mentioning. When I was younger and naive, I had men find out about my spinal deformity and show so much concern right up to the point they'd say "would a back rub help?" Just to get me to expose my body and allow them to touch my bare skin. I was so fucking foolish. I was so young and so excited anyone cared. I just thought since I mostly spent my time with men, it would make sense they'd show concern. Well, turns out women don't offer teenage girls backrubs. So idiotic. I yearn for anyone to give a fuck. I don't understand why I get fucking interviewed about epilepsy but my spine (bane of my existence, actively ruins almost every aspect of my life, I never have flare-ups, my spine is constantly regressing and worsening. I wake up every morning in a deformed body that is collapsing in on itself. Lol) and I mean whatever. Like I said, I'm hardly asking anything. If things were 5% better. If my family just asked how it's going. I don't give a fuck about anyone helping me with the groceries, I just want somebody to care and it's been like this since my diagnosis. My own parents cut the conversation short every time. What is wrong with the way I speak?

[lovelycureaestetic]

Don't call me Trans

A more or less short and coherent post about personal journeys, fandoms and gender.

I don't really know how to start this post, I'm writing it down on my notes app for the first time now but I've rehearsed this for over a decade I think and yet I have to "roll with the punches".

Kinda like my journey as a queer person I guess so in the end I think it's only fitting for me.

You see, I'm a lucky individual, I grew up in a very accepting and somewhat progressive family. I've always thought that my parents, despite their age (both in their 60s rn), were pretty open-minded for their generation. Sure some things are just too much for them, but they don't hate and are very much cool with the things they do understand. Which is honestly a very good attitude and even if they're not "perfect" they made it so that I wouldn't have much issues coming out as a lesbian back when I was 18. But why am I telling you this? Well, this is a little preface to let you know that my environment was a nice one and that queerness was never an issue in my real life. So where were the issues, Nene?

Online. The issues were online and more specifically, inside the fandom spaces.

But Nene, aren't fandoms largely made up by accepting queer people? No. Fandoms are huge piles of toxic waste where you can find some rare shining gems and a safe bunker or two and the call about harassment is definitely coming from inside the house when it comes to queer on queer crimes.

But Nene, how does this relate in any way to your journey of self discovery? I will tell you right now, dear friend, fear not.

When I first started joining internet fandoms I was, maybe 14? It was the 2010s and online was the only space I could get any sort of exposure to the LGBT community (fewer letters back then, that's important to keep in mind). I was just a teen, I didn't watch the news, I didn't read newspapers; I watched anime, read manga and went on forums and Tumblr (and Facebook) to pass the time. I was too young and didn't know much because certain things like queerness were still very on the low, they just began to crawl up the surface and my only access to them was: fandoms. Of course I knew about gay people, my mom's hairdresser had a boyfriend and I knew about the ancient Greeks from school, but the first time I've read a love story between two men was in a manga for Christ' sake, it was a very different time, but I don't want to digress much. The important thing is that all my knowledge mostly came via Facebook pages about anime characters kissing. And then 2015 rolled in and I was basically almost only on Tumblr. I was 18 and just figured out my sexuality. Lesbian, score one. People were starting to talk about Asexuality and I believe a few years later I figured out I was Demisexual and kinda cried. Score two. And honestly I thought I was done. I thought there was nothing else for me to discover about myself and that that was that.

Mh.

Except...

Except that wasn't actually "that". As I grew older there was something bugging me more and more with each passing day. Something in the darkest and furthest corner of my mind, locked behind a vault. Something I just deemed impossible so I decided to cast it away in hopes of forgetting. But your mind never really does that, am I right? It never truly lets you forget. Oh no. And that something scratching and scratching away against the metal doors was my Gender Identity. Now then, why would I cast that aside? I had a pretty accepting environment in real life, all the things about sexuality I learnt from articles online and Wikipedia, so why was that an issue I had to lock away?

Because it wasn't what I saw around me.

I had read yuri mangas, I had read articles about asexuality, there were people online talking about them. There were headcanons about characters and "character X sexuality study essays". But what was there around me when it came to gender? Cis and Trans (Non-binary came later on so I didn't grow up with it). That was it. You were either cis or trans. And when you're a teen on Tumblr there is really only two ways to be trans: buff masc trans woman with a loud personality or scrawny shaky trans boy wearing oversized clothes. I'm afab so the second example was possibly my tumblr assigned gender and I was...

Not that.

I didn't wear baggy clothes, I didn't hate my body (not for those reasons at least), I did not feel like I was born wrong, I did not feel like a "uwu cute adorable transboy so sweet so pure". And to tell you the truth, the more I saw transness in fandom, the more I hated it. I did not hate trans people, absolutely not, and I knew that everyone had a right to interpret characters as they wanted. But every time I saw a cute and feminine character being called a transboy as in afab, something inside of me cried in agony and I felt, oh so bad about it because when I grew up in fandoms, not liking and sharing a trans headcanon meant you were transphobic. Yeah. You read that correctly. If you dared to say that you personally did not think Kurapika was trans you'd get sent hate mails because how COULD YOU DENY TRANS PEOPLE, YOU MUST'VE HATED THEM, YOU TRANSPHOBE! It didn't matter if you said it in the most chill way because someone asked what you thought, it didn't matter if you respected and just did not share those headcanons, because to them they were canon and if you hated canon then you must've had a problem with trans people. I know things have chilled a bit nowadays but hey, now I'm 28, the damage has already been done so what can you do. Anyway, I had these conflicted feelings for years and at times, when I dared to stop myself and just... Think for a while, I asked myself: why do I care so much, what is it to me if someone sees a feminine boy and calls it trans? Yeah it can be obnoxious, and femininity has nothing to do with gender, but why do I ACHE instead of just rolling my eyes and moving on?

Why

Why

Why

Why am I thinking so much about what my sexuality would be if I were a boy?

Why have I always picked the male protagonist in videogames?

Why would I be fine if people wrongfully used he/him pronouns with me?

Why am I sososo attached to femboy characters?

I don't hate my body, I don't hate my boobs, I don't hate my curves, I don't hide them, I like my curves, I don't feel like I'm in the wrong body, I'm not uncomfortable being called a girl.

So why, why, why

I can't be trans, I don't want to be a boy, I don't feel like how a trans person should feel, when someone called me an "egg" when they saw I liked femboys, I'm at the point where I recoil at the idea of being called trans. So I cannot be.

I have to be cis, then, right?

...

Realisation sounds like the buzzing of static left in your ears after listening to the ocean raging below.

Bigender.

It all made sense, I could see my whole life unfolding right in front of me and the long breadcrumbs trail I left for myself through the passage of time.

Bigender.

It had such a nice ring to it.

Bigender.

It was like a hug between male and female. It felt like I was born from the embrace of both ends of the spectrum.

I was happy, the vault was finally open and I was finally, consciously complete.

Yet there was still something bugging me.

People would still call me trans.

And I know, objectively speaking, that the word trans is a big umbrella term, that technically bigenderness falls under that umbrella.

But the wound is too deep, the gap too wide, I've spent too many years in the toxic waste that is fandom's perception of gender.

And this is NOT to say you shouldn't thrive with your trans headcanons. No. Go live your best life, but please, maybe from time to time, stop and ponder why fandoms that allegedly care so much about representation do nothing to actually represent different identities. Maybe sit down one afternoon and wonder why some people sound so bitter towards umbrella terms. Trans people aren't the issue here, of course, but the way they're portrayed at large in fandoms and the fact that the only non-cis terms being used are either trans or non-binary, are. And I'm so hung up on the way fandoms act because that's where MOST of young people have their first contact with the queer world. Of course everyone should be free to do whatever but if you truly care about kids and teens and adults feeling safe, accepted and SEEN, then you HAVE TO actually start and be inclusive of all identities.

I will help you carry that umbrella because we're all in this together, but once we reach your destination you could at least have the decency to use my name instead of yours.

Don't call me Trans, I'm Bigender.

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[seiya-starsniper]

.

[escapingreality101]

I just love seeing people finding themselves later in life. Be that characters on tv and in movies or people in real life. It's so nice and comforting to see that you don't have to have it all figured out when your young and that there's a whole other world out there for you. Where you can be happy and find yourself in your 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. This isn't all there is. Life is a journey and we're all going at our own pace.

[alto-tenure]

hershel layton and angela ledore's friendship is so important to me you have no idea

[corelliaxdreaming]

people who make detailed posts and pride flag trees and happily have a dozen or more identities, orientations, and microlabels to describe themselves, my absolute beloveds

[quadrantadvisor]

What your favorite Goncharov (1973) ship says about you:

Goncharov/Andrey: You believe in the inherent homoeroticism of unhealthy codependency and mutual self-destruction (also you watched the film and have eyes)

Katya/Sofia: You think Sofia deserved more screen time and also you're gay.

Andrey/Mario: You've been looking at gif sets of every time they lock eyes with eachother for 6 hours now. You are weeping and gnashing your teeth.

Andrey/Ice Pick Joe: You either have very strong opinions about the integrity of the film's messaging and want to preserve Goncharov's death but let the most traumatized characters involved find solace in eachother and heal, OR Ice Pick Joe is your little meow meow.

Goncharov/Mario: You believe in the inherent homoeroticism of planning your boss's murder.

Andrey/Goncharov/Mario: You just wish everyone could get along. Also a 99% chance that you enjoy fluffy modern aus.

Valery/Sofia: At this point these characters are basically your ocs and you're having a great time.

Goncharov/Katya: EITHER you are one of the most interesting people in the fandom and you've written essay-length analysis posts about the enduring complexity of their marriage and how it both pits them against eachother and leaves them as one another's only allies in a harsh and unforgiving world, or you're boring and straight.

Andrey/Katya: You're straight but you stan Andrey.

Mario/Ice Pick Joe: The only thing you care about is fucked up little guys.

[navree]

Your headcanons for the personalities types (MBTI) of the characters of the dance and the conquest?

OK so fair warning I don't really know a lot about MBTI types, like next to nothing at this point, I don't even know mine (I had to take the test for a college prep seminar in high school for some???? reason???? and then immediately forgot it because it wasn't important at all) so I'm basing this off of articles that tell me what these things are like (also for the Dance I'm going with show version if they've been introduced in the show, since those characters are more developed)

DANCE

Rhaenyra Targaryen - ESTP, The Persuader, out-going and dramatic, can be insensitive at times, capable of relatively quick decision making (at least in her youth), can be impulsive, energetic and ready to go, desirous for adventure.

Alicent Hightower - ISFJ, The Protector, sensitive, protective of others, caring and compassionate and kind-hearted, represses emotions, warm and nurturing, neglectful of personal needs, not a fan of change.

Daemon Tagaryen - ENFP, The Champion, charismatic and charming, energetic, capacity for great leadership, a dislike of routine, strong people skills, disorganized, struggles to follow rules, needs external validation, spontaneous, desirous for others' approval.

Otto Hightower - ENTJ, The Commander, strong verbal and leadership skills, well-organized, stubborn, highly logical, capable of being insensitive, can get aggressive, good at making decisions in crisis, outspoken and assertive and self assured, a good planner and rational, goal oriented, not very good with inner emotions.

Viserys Targaryen - INFP, The Mediator, idealistic, can see the bigger picture, overlooks details and loses sight of the little things, can take things personally, sensitive, can be overly idealistic, wants to make the world better according to their vision.

Criston Cole - ISTJ, The Inspector, loyal, orderly and organized, can be judgmental, principled and a stickler for rules, values traditions and laws, tendency for self-blame and recrimination.

Aegon Targaryen - Whichever one stands for "huge fucking mess" jk jk. Probs INFJ, The Advocate, highly sensitive, values close relationships with others, stubborn, can be overly sensitive, creative and free spirited, can set expectations too high, places more emphasis on emotions than logic, wants to help ("oh how-" he literally lies for aemond free of charge and was ready to pull out a sword to defend alicent against a dragon shut up), can be difficult to get to know.

Helaena Targaryen - ISFP, The Artist, peaceful, caring and considerate, trouble with the abstract, pays great attention to detail, incredibly reserved, dislikes conflict and confrontation, aware of the environment and those in it, introverted, strong need for personal space, unique values system, enjoys hands on activities based on their interests.

Aemond Targaryen - INTP, The Thinker, (specifically INTP-Turbulent), thoughtful, quiet and reserved, capable of outside the box thinking, difficult to get to know, self doubting, can look at things objectively, likes a small and close knit group, trouble expressing their emotions, deeply loyal and affectionate with loved ones.

Daeron Targaryen - ESFJ, The Caregiver, enjoys helping others, kind and caring, sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, feelings get hurt easily, outgoing, sensitive to change, kind and loyal, approval seeking and needy, dependable and loyal, sensitive to criticism and wants to be liked, intrinsically kind and literally a caregiver.

Rhaenys TQWNW - INTJ, The Architect, self confident, hard worker, willing to put in the effort, overly judgmental, perfectionist, can appear callous and arrogant, good at listening in general and taking criticism, good at reading between lines.

Corlys Velaryon - ESTJ, The Director, take charge personality, goal oriented, inflexible and bossy, self confident, hard working, argumentative, strong leadership skills, organized and structured, unyielding, seemingly insensitive.

Alys Rivers - ISTP, The Crafter, goal oriented, even tempered, reserved, difficult to get to know, aversion to commitment, open to trying new things, self confident and self possessed, difficult to get to know, emotionally detached, level headed and logical and practical.

CONQUEST

(with explanations cuz they don't have a show to flesh them out as much)

Aegon the Conqueror - I would classify Aegon as a pretty firm INTP, The Thinker, given that he was an apparently private person about whose personality we know exceptionally little, that he appears to have been reserved and self possessed and kept things close to the vest and made very few friends, but capable of a fierce and deep loyalty towards people like Orys, an unending love for his sister-wife Rhaenys and his subsequent doting on of their son Aenys. Aegon is also capable of the INTP's propensity for outside the box thinking, as well as a focus on the bigger picture of conquering Westeros (especially if he had grander designs based on his dreams of the eventual war with The Others).

Visenya the Conqueror - I would classify Visenya as either ENTP, The Debater or an ENTJ, The Commander. Visenya clearly valued knowledge and valued learning what she could about the world, as evidenced by her interest in the mystic arts and her travels with Aegon pre-Conquest, and like her little brother she can be incredibly goal oriented, while also being a remarkable leader on the field in her own right and very assertive and outspoken, given how willing she was to talk smack not just to Aegon but to Aenys as well. She also clearly can be argumentative and balks at control, seemingly aggressive and intolerant, and even borderline insensitive (maybe Aenys didn't wanna burn the Sept of Remembrance on the Hill of Rhaenys because it was a symbol of remembrance for his mother Visenya, come on girlie). Visenya might not have been good at emotions but she was a good problem solver, as well as creative in her solutions, and appears to have been one of the more self assured out of her siblings.

Rhaenys the Conqueror - I would classify my most beloved Rhaenys number one queen of Westeros and love and beauty and of my heart as a mix of ENJF, The Giver (specifically the assertive type) and INFP, The Mediator. Rhaenys is described as much more of an emotionally open person than either of her siblings, affectionate with her loved ones and a kindhearted person in general, and she clearly had a wide social circle and a more outgoing personality than stern Visenya and reserved Aegon. She valued her close relationships with friends and family and with Meraxes, was probably as equally involved in the big picture of conquering Westeros as Aegon was and was probably the most persuasive out of all them. She also likely had a certain sense of altruism and idealism, focusing her power on diplomacy to better the realm and being the first administrator in the Targaryen dynasty, and possibly Westerosi history, to enact any sort of law to offer any protections to women, though that idealism likely came at a cost, considering she did think that they could make Dorne submit despite the very clear warning she got from the Yellow Toad, and the consequences for her as a result. And also, in case you forgot, Rhaenys is also perfect, so jot that down. It doesn't have anything to do with MBTI types but it's important to me that everyone knows that anyway.

Orys Baratheon - I would classify Orys as an ENTJ, The Commander, given his strong leadership skills and his incredible prowess in battle, and the problem solving we know he exhibits given that he was able to hold command over armies in hostile territory without things going Too wrong for him (hand-ectomy not included). But we also know that he was an intolerant person when wrong and could easily feel embittered if he felt slighted, like with the aforementioned hand-ectomy and how that left him hardened throughout the rest of his life and desirous for revenge.