#theyre so inlove its sad

[miss-star-dust]

Safe to say that I've added "Sweetheart" to my list of nicknames I'd like my future partner to call me, and I'm only half way through Crimson Rivers

[rainc0at]

I LOVE THIS FUCKIJG FILM SO MUCH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS PERFECT

[sea-owl]

So my crack ship has always been Michael x Penelope x Colin.and I keep imagining scenarios like

Colin meets Michael when they were both on tour in India and pretty much click on the first day. Now one way or another they both find themselves in a bed and just become lovers. Then 6 months is up and Colin is part sad part excited to be home. Sad because he. leaves Michael and happy because he finally gets to see his Pen againwho has not responded to a single letter (quite rude!).

Fast forward Pen ignores him and he comes crying to Michael because WHY WONT PEN NOTICE HIM???! And Michael's laughing and intrigued by this fiery headed lady who he knows because Colin talks about her all the time (he doesn't mind, its quite cute honestly and he is even more intrigued since Fran has hinted at matchmaking both of them before).

Anyway he decides to surprise Colin and visit him in London and attend the next ball where he finally gets to meet Pen. Long story short, she is everything Colin had described and more and quickly comes to call on her the follpwing weeks. Honestly, Colin doesnt know if he's jealous of Pen or Michael at this point.

Meanwhile Pen is getting conflicted cause both men are worming their way into her heart and she actually cannot choose just one of them for a partner because she's inlove with both.

Then Michael proposes a 3some which Colin is all to eager to accept (Why wouldnt he??? He gets to have Pen AND Michael its a win win!)

One extra thing that really sealed the deal for me is the carriage scene AND the mirror scene with all three of them (PLEASE SOMEBODY WRITE A FIC OF THIS I AM BEGGING)

I dont know how this ends tho maybe Colin ends up marrying Pen publicly while in private the three of them exchange vows and live in the country side (The staff dont say anything cuz theyre paid well amd honestly not the first time they've encountered such a situation. Plus their masters and mistresses are incredibly kind and fun so it really is no problem for them)

Hey I've actually read fanfiction with these three. (Though when they are paired up John needs to stay alive or at least presumed to be alive, because I will not have a lonely Francesca.) They're a fun trio to work with, especially when Michael and Colin tag team on winding Penelope up. Poor girl can't see straight from all the pleasure these two give her.

Though the real fun is when Penelope decides to tease and whispers dirty things in both their ears (you know the woman is a master at dirty talk) which begins a game of chase all over and around their country manor.

Anyway I still say Michael's crush on Pen started before he met her because Colin always talked about her. It just intensifies when he finally meets her. Michael's mind goes, a pretty man AND a witty woman? Sign him the fuck up, it's the best of both worlds.

Michael convinces Colin to become a throuple with Penelope and then on the way for them to go discuss it with her they notice her getting into a hired hack. So of course they have to follow her. Well she unknowingly leads them to a church and in that church they discover she's Lady Whistledown.

They're in the carriage, she's sassing them off, and they go fuck it.

Colin dives in from the front kissing her senseless while his hands push her skirts up and caress her things. Michael has practically pulled Penelope onto his lap and is reaching up from behind her to play with her breasts while leaving a mark on the back of her neck. Michael gets his turn to kiss Penelope when Colin goes under her skits to feast on her sex. This causes Penelope gasp and grind her bottom down on Michael's erection. Michael curses at the sudden shock of pleasure while Colin smirks at getting both his lovers to moan.

Penelope unsure what to do with herself while being attached on either end reaches up with one hand in Michael's hair while the other one reaches down into Colin's. Uknowingly she is pulling both boys to her which encourages them to use their tongues more energetically. In response grinds her hips down on Michael again and her thighs pulling Colin's eager tongue deeper inside of her.

After all three are sweating, panting messes, Michael pulls Colin in for their own kiss wanting to taste both his lovers at once. Penelope is still laying in-between them and watching fascinated.

They end up agreeing to the throuple but Colin and Penelope were to publicly marry because the Bridgerton name held more weight which more meant more protection should someone discover Lady Whistledown.

[transboykirito]

(Im so sorry for all my asks spamming ur inbox esp the long ones btw)

WOOO HAPPY T SHOT DAY!!

I don’t remember if I shared these but I just wanted to share my hcs as a celebration 🫶

kirito: bisexual, poly, trans demiboy, but like, any gender he dates it’s just inherently a queer relationship even if it’s w a girl and the girl is straight it’s never fully straight it’s just. Queer.

asuna: bisexual, poly, she could be cis or trans tbh I love it either way, same queerness as kiritos thing though either way

suguha: bisexual (do not worry, it has nothing to do w her weird arc I completely rewrote it inside my head and in a google docs and I pretend it does not exist and the feelings were just jealousy bc replacement and abandonment issues 🫂) but it’s just the vibes ok she- maybe I’m projecting and biased, I know your hc her as lesbian and that’s so cool too honestly I love queer sugu <3

Liz: lesbian

Sinon: non binary, bisexual ¿

silica: is my favorite lesbian I love her so much and I like to think her and liz talk abt stuff a lot and liz helps her w identity stuff alot I love their friendship AND HERS AND SUGUS TOO I lvoe them all

Alice: bisexual but closeted and in denial and thinks she hates asuna but in reality she is inlove w her

eugeo: bisexual, poly, either cis or non binary with a masc leaning identity

agil: straight and this makes me mildly sad

Klein: KLEIN IS LIKE. HES STRAIGHT BUT HES LIKE. DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO NOT BEING STRAIGHT BUT HE WONT ADMIT IT. similar to my friends sexuality where he’s like mostly “straight” but there’s a specific type of boys who they’re like. yes. and they’re typically more feminine ones. so i guess heteroflexible? Is that the word?

I feel like I’m missing someone from the main gang but djejfj

also,, I feel like quite a few of them have some issues w their sexuality and religion¿ which might full well be me projecting, especially asuna because her family seems the type to be religious and blah blah blah sexuality and religion tend to not go well but ofc not everything/everyone would be like that

kiritos family is 10000000000% accepting tho, maybe his grandparents are a lil like

“don’t understand but like i love u but I don’t support this but I love u a lot” and it’s complicated (projecting projecting projecting projecting pro——)

agil is straight but he's trans!!!!!!!! and trish is bi!!!!!!!! its andrew coming in with the bi wife energy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

same hat kirito same hat <3

i feel like midori's parents are definitely "i have no clue what that means but i support you" like kazuto comes out as trans and theyre like "oh so she wants to be a boy?? thats okay youll always be our granddaughter baby :)" but they mean well and he corrects them and they get there in the end

also yui is nonbinary i dont care she just is

[maknaesdancersrappers]

wait so was jaehyun attracted not only because of her looks but because his friends werent attracted to her? what would have happened if his friends werent silent but also made comments about her? would things have been different? would he have looked for a diff girl that his friends didnt like or were his friends just scared of him thats why they were silent? idk if i should ask this to you (rj) or as an open forum ask to devoted jae

im just gonna be team doyoung to be safe 😌 KIDDING HAHAHAHA

as usual you delivered rj! the new chapter hurts </3 sad to see that the two of them have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT versions of how they fell inlove :( i hope jaehyun just fainted i mean he deserves this because he had it coming but it hurts 😭 glad that yn walked away this time you can reallly feel the emotions from the writing and all thats why it HURTS!!! she left her phone so i just hope theyre gonna meet again soon 🤭

i have so much questions rn add to that is this team kun’s revival? how jaehyun will be acting after that like will he still have her monitored? what if yn is pregnant after that iud issue thing 😭

BYE RJ IM GONNA HAVE THESE STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR A WEEK AGAIN OR LIKE UNTIL THE NEXT UPDATE ITS BEEN SOOOO LONG SINCE I WAS SO INTO A STORY YOURE SO GOOD AT THIS

ok i dont know how to insert into the fic anymore but lets just say that jaehyun's high school circle was bad -- i think i mentioned that other than drugs, they had a sex ring. jaehyun never joined in on that but he knows that they basically "share" girls SO when he realized that they didn't pay attention to [Y/N], he didnt have to worry about "sharing" her.

UGH I HAD TO PUT MYSELF IN EITHER OF THEIR SHOES AT THE SAME TIME because on one side, he had her investigated and orchestrated an entire plan for them to meet while on the other, she just thought it was purely a coincidence 😩😩

yes, she left her phone it would be really bad if somethingpotentiallymaybeperhapshappentoherasshewalksintothenight

After every chapter, I take a good 2-3 days of break from writing and based off the outline i have and the masterlist, it's the last part for this... section??? idk what to call it but ye

[sonderastrology]

Astrology Culture - Venus Signs

Aries Venus:

🌹Upfront and bold about feelings - not afraid to “shoot their shot”

🌹Aries Venuses are huge support systems; even if they don't understand, they will still be there for you and listen

🌹High energy beings physically and/or mentally - people who can’t stay still for too long, always onto the next topic or lover

🌹Probably work out a lot and/or naturally strong and defined

🌹A sense of style to die for and a sense of humor to match

🌹Impulsive and feisty lil bitches 

🌹Intense eyes and sexy eye contact

🌹Outgoing and bubbly for the most part, this placement find it easy to socialize

Taurus Venus:

🌱Fall for physically beautiful people

🌱Controlling.,.,!

🌱Fear of abandonment x12

🌱BUT, these people are so loyal, supportive, reliable (like Leo Venus but less fiery and more down to earth)

🌱When taurus venus is single, they’re flirtatious and love to socialize/party/go out

🌱When taurus venus is in a relationship, they would much rather stick to dinner dates and hang out at home

🌱Will fight you if you mess with their friends and esp their family

🌱Ask these people for restaurant recommendations!!! they know what's up when it comes to good food 

🌱These people know their worth so don’t try fucking them over or treating them like shit!

Gemini Venus:

🦋Friendzones everyone but hates being friendzoned

🦋They don’t flirt with everyone; they’re just hot and like to talk 

🦋Shows off infront of a crowd

🦋Gemini Venuses get bored fasssst 

🦋When these people are in a relationship, its usually for long periods of time

🦋Hard to pin these people down

🦋Many hobbies that they're actually great at

🦋Good at being friends with benefits

Cancer Venus:

🦀CEO of “I’m baby” 

🦀This placement lovesss makeup/fashion, overall loves looking good

🦀They love the good things in life like Taurus and fall for the physically beautiful ones

🦀You get hurt cause you care way too much

🦀Will go out for amdrive just to blare sad music and calls it therapy

🦀I’ve noticed cancer venus has a hard time with love :((( poor babies

🦀Moody crab

🦀Gives level headed advice to people but does psycho shit themselves

Leo Venus:

YAASS MS. LEO VENUS! WORK!

☀️Ride or die type

☀️Jealous and possessive in relationships

☀️Leo venus are actually more homebodies, but when they go out, they’re the life of the party

☀️Attract people naturally

☀️Distinctive feature; hair, dimples, beautiful eyes, freckles, big smile, something!

☀️When they dress up, they go all out- queens

☀️So naturally beautiful 

☀️Put a lot of time into themselves and hobbies

Virgo Venus: 

🐢Their shy and seem emotionless around their crushes but they're freaking out on the inside

🐢Hard time communicating emotions, more into acts of service

🐢Freaks! in! the! Sheets!

🐢Neat and clean 

🐢Their style is simple and elegant, probably loves jewelry

🐢Don’t forget anything but they forgive easily because theyre understanding

🐢It hurts them to leave people, but it hurts the people being left a million times more - it takes a lot of hurt for a Virgo to leave someone

🐢Calendars, agendas, to do lists

Libra Venus:

🎀These people are hot asf, something about them is just ooufff

🎀Flirts via texting, snapchat, twitter dm, tinder- all of them

🎀Gigglers

🎀Hi Gossip! How are ya? :)

🎀Their style is trendy, cute, and eye catching!

🎀Definitely artistic asfff

🎀You have to be interesting, confident, and different to get a libra venus to love you

🎀These people are really kind and sweet - sometimes it comes off as fake but they just HATE rude people

🎀Most aesthiecally pleasing instagram accounts

Scorpio venus:

🧿They will stare at you

🧿Will make the first move if you’re taking too long

🧿Get addicted to people and things easily

🧿Love love music

🧿Loners 

🧿Scorpio Venuses will keep your darkest secrets safe and will always be there for you no matter what!

🧿Ride or die

🧿Tendency to stalk and obsess over their exes social media pages 

Sagittarius Venus:

☄️Late bloomers 

☄️Never really grow up, but they’re fun asf and always looking to do something fun

☄️Goes on vacation to DO THINGS- hike, skydive, tour museums, etc ... not a resorty type

☄️Music taste to die for, best at playlist making

☄️SOOOO funny 

☄️Reckless and do crazy things for attention

☄️Skater vibe

☄️Luck at extremes- very unlucky then very very lucky 

Capricorn Venus:

🪐Daddy issues of some kind

🪐Won’t say I love you first and won't say it for awhile

🪐Work and money oriented

🪐Acts of service typa love like virgo venus

🪐Low sex drive but when they’re up for it, they’re freakkkkyyyy

🪐Likes to dress in dark colors; cranberry, army green, navy blue

🪐Mysterious and hard to know fully

🪐Will have the same crush for years and years

Aquarius Venus:

💎Falls inlove with their best friends

💎Probably hates spending time with their loved one’s family

💎Difficult relationship with parents, they like to rebell and be independent

💎Knows so much about every thing, and loves learning about things

💎 “I think they're copying me”

💎Can be mean/cold but don’t realize it

💎Anxietyyyy from a young age esp socially

💎Very very smart but most of the time not academically - they hate structured environments

Pisces Venus:

👣Sleeps with the same stuffed animal they’ve had since they were born

👣Has pets and connects with animals deeply

👣They aren’t stupid, they’re just dissociating! 

👣Forgets what they’re saying in the middle of a sentence

👣Highly attuned beings, psychic powers

👣They fall in and out of love 5 times a day

👣Gives people the benefit of the doubt, always

[666bone]

.

[threepointseven]

I've been following you for a while but never interact here. so hello.. hope you doing fine!

also i saw your post about being stressed out with request and setting inhumane deadline to yourself. i do hope you feel better and pls take a good care of yourself. im sure that your work does bring smile to your follower like how it makes me smile on my bad day but even so i feel sad knowing us as your follower become a source of your stress. its okay to take a break here and there. for me its even better if you do so! taking care of yourself have to be your 1st priority. for me, knowing you who inspired me is well, healthy and happy bring me a better joy then knowing you stressed out yourself to just fullfil requests.

sorry i ramble alot but yeah i just want you to take a better care of yourself cuz your wellbeing matters alot <3

-new anon

I think im inlove with you!! 😊

This message means so much to me dhdhshsjd ive been having major burn out but im gonna keep writing cause i wanna make the ppl who request happy and everything!!

Its so reliving to know some people actually like my work and you are so sweet ilysm ☹️

I AM GONNA TRY AND TAKE ANFEW BREAKS MORE OFTEN SO INDONT BURN MYSELF OUT THAT QUICKLY BUT KEEP REQUESTING PLS I LOVE THEM THEYRE JUST SCARY😍

THE PPL WHO REQUEST ARENT THE CAUSE OF MY STRESS DW ILY ALL IM JUST UNABLE TO HANDLE LARGE AMOUNTS OF WORK AS IM TRYING TO BALANCE SCHOOL AND WRITING <3

ANON I LOVE YOU TO PIECES THIS MESSAGE MADE ME SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY STUFF😡😡😡💕💕💕AND GIGE YOUR SELF AN EMOJI YOUR ONE OF MY ANONS NOW🥱🥱

[kiingbiing]

bro Please show us ur ocs what

gladly

just know that names will change bevause i have too many characters woops (im a bad character maker lol)

i made them children who murder but now i dont know what to do with them, soon i will make a story for them

king and jester raise a baby and fall inlove :]

theyre originally humans but with a potion gone wrong, they end up as animals and now they have to work together to turn themselves back, also the snake works with the law and the mouse is a crook

dnd character, but i never got to play him cause i never played dnd, lol, one day, i will

ethan works at a cafe and got turned into a vampire, carter is a monster hunter and wendy is his assisstant. carter has the hots for ethan and ethan doesnt want to acknolwedge his existence. maggie and callie is ethan’s friend, barry LIKES wendy

the triplets were inspired by moosop ngl, but i do remember making triplets in 5th grade lol

inspired by tarzan, but i changed the story cause i made these characters when i was younger and i cant abandon them. meriam raised talia (i changed her name) when she decided to leave london and live in the jungle. talia barely speaks because her speech isnt good. mark comes to visit his mother and to try and see if the island can be used for good money, mark and talia hate each other for this fact.

made this in 4th grade cause my first lesbian ship was bubbaline and i was like, i dont have enough lesbian ships, gotta make my own then,

no name for them but its set in the philippines, inspired by our monsters :]

a fellow monster has to be in love with their food

fairly odd parents oc, josh and penny got adopted by this rich couple, and everything was fine till they figured out that they only got adopted because the parents would get more money from their parents if the wanted kids, this warrented a god parent and francis is here. francis HATES children and is onyl doing this because its good money. penny is too energetic, josh is the quiet kid and francis hates kids, but he can handle one, hes not gonna be able to handle 2

theres 2 stories for this, bt judas and merith were in an arranged marriage and percy became merith’s crying buddy when judas is mean, they can be in a threesome, still dont know. still have to upadte this story

dominic goes savage during the full moon and his sister is the only one who knows this secret. the two rodents have a thing for dominic

these were just random ocs with no actual plot line, dino and cloudy are buddies and they go everywhere together

the colony of ants have a thing for the ant eater, not the tables have turned lol

dad is forced to raise a baby and he cant cause hes sad depressed, and he just doesnt know what to do but he can abandon her. jerry is like, buddy, BUDDY, if u let me crash, i can help out, hes helpful, 

used to be an adventure time oc but i scrapped it, 

princess aya runs away from the royal family to find her missing sister cause she doesnt want to be queen 

she meets with red, a thief who dabbles with magic, which is illegal, 

due to unfortunate events, red helps aya find her sister

animal crossing ocs. kenny and lola are dating :]

one and two are childhood friends? one was mean and two got depressed, but now one is trying to make up for it

kylan is failing his class, so richard has to tutor him to make sure hes on the right track, kylan just doesnt want to do anything with him, and when he realises that richard has a hard time making friends, he makes it his task to help him make a friend, in return, richard has to leave him alone

just two teenagers coming to terms about their feelings for each other.

braden never gave romance a thought until he reached middle school. he started to crush on george hard and he doesnt know how to handle this and he tries to deny it.

george is straight and is just vibing, and he thought things were fine until braden confessed his feelings.

braden is demisexual (im demi, hes very special to me)

this ones old, (also i made another oc thats named carter WOOPS)

no name (teddy) got kicked out from home when his mom figured out hes gay, and carter is a rich art student that needs a model and he ask teddy to become his model. carter pays teddy a good sum of money, (i need to work on this story woops)’

melissa is a rich blind girl and shes not allowed to party and go outside if she doesnt hire a body guard (thanks dad), she hired danny, an ex underground boxer to help her around the city. 

in this world, magic welders are getting killed because only officials are allowed to use magic. momma summons demote, a demon, with a deal that he keeps her daughter safe. demote and harper hate each other and they have to tolerate each other in order to get away from the hunters. dewey is a forest entity that latched onto harper

my little pony oc 

madison loves flowers, she tends flowers and honestly? flowers only.

valentine is a match maker and she stumbles upon madison, and her match making skills dont work on madison, just ponies being ponies :]

characters made with my friends but i lost contact with them and one day, ill work on their stories

david is in his first public school and he meets molly and he doesnt vibe with her cause she doesnt talk to him and it didnt settle with him right, so he bullies her, and when he figures out that shes deaf and maliciously bullied her, hes just, not happy and tries to make it up to her, and shes not having it

life and death, my friend wanted me to make a comic bout life and death,

just ur standard life and death ship

used to be an adventure time oc but i changed it

andrew grew up in a religious household with strict parents, making him study. hes not allowed to be with friends

margee is raised by her uncle because her dad died in a car accident,

dally has a strained relationship with his dad, his dad being an alcoholic and not taking care of his health

they were all childhood friends and then they got seperated, when they got older, they all saw each other and got together for support

(ok imm a fool and i try to make a webcomic but i keep not not finishing it so, woops)

bunny ocs when i was younger, i need to work on their stories, sorry, no other info except they want to beat each other lol

cupid accidentally shots an arrown at ching and now they fell inlove with mar, and mar just wants to vibe and be ignored but with ching contantly trying to woo mar, cupid thinks thats enough and tried to help mar because that wasnt suppposed to happen lol

girl realises that the monsters under her bed and in her closet are real and tries to get her mother to help her.

her mother abuses her and the girl is just scared and she doesnt know what to do

(im getting lazy)

baintly wants to be a good wizard but she sucks at everything

butters(the broom) is accidentally made when she tried to summon her animal

she was about to get kicked out of school but out of sepretation, she promised her school that she’ll go get a gem from a feared dragon in order to prove her place in the school

she got lonely and got a pet bunny and fox

terry accidentally summoned perry and she doesnt know how to handle a demon in her room, ralph is terry’s friend

set in space and theyre all animals

the top are a bunch of criminals and the bottoms arer in the police forces

and they both have to work toegether to get rid of a dangerious villian set to destroy the galaxy

ok so i lost their names but basically, big demon goes to the human world and befriends a child. other demon is the right hand and he follows his master and hes just a ball anxiety. the older sister is a monster hunter and she tries to kill the big demon living in her house

[wamiandayne]

season 2 episode 6

god its so LONG

queen shit

no ones like "what r u wearong"

ARETHA FRANKLIN... SOUNDTRACK DELIVERS

who bought/made allisons clothes

allison is so pretty

HER SCRATCHY VOICE?????????? 😙😙😙

i love "imperfect" voices and vocals in songs and stuff oh my god

if ppl are l8ke "this bitch cant sing" I LIKE IT

i love kate walsh

not one of u give him his fist bump?

i hate straight ben

still has good manners. even as a vult leader

AND IM AN ALCOHAAAA THATS THE WRONG MEETING

too funny

too funnt bro

im a fraud too bitch shut up

soundtrack pulled through

theyre so sweet..

ray you gave her too much goddamn power

you GAVE HER TOO MUCH POWRR

this is why she quit rumoring ppl bitch

love you miss handler

YOU VIOLATED KLAUS

DAVID??? DAVID KATZ?????

why the hell did ben need a romance

DUNE? DAVID'S A NERD!

klaus.... has to live with this.... the details of his loves death...

HES GIVING DAVE THE TAGS????? BRO

............

what the fuck.

im crying again

he was shaking, bro....

he was so upset

dave....

IT TOOK TH3 SWEDES 5 EPISODES TO TALK

this rlly is a beautiful show

its shot so prettily

why did luther SHIT HIMSELF

ben, youve been a dick, you dont get existimg privileges

diegos a dick he doesnt get talking privileges

hell yeah vanya

it rlly is rip on diego: the season im into it

oh hes so sad

oh, babe

ben ur a dick

ben ruined it. what the fuvk

inlove how i have klaus' characterization down. he rlly said "i feel so violated:

LUTHER U HAVE SUPER STRENGTH. JUST PICK HIM UP

we got some antisemitism baby!!!!!

so they def speak english and greek

fievel dont apologize to your abuser you dipshit

saw elliott amd got massively sad abt dave

dead elliott ig :(

youre the one who left things like that, sissy

god i still have 5 more eps

motherfucking carl. whos watcjing harlan

soundtrack delivered

dead elliott :(

is five ever gonna learn

[auraismoonstone]

Same bakeries are already selling pan de muerto and while inlove it its so sad that just bc of hownpopular it is theyre profiting off not respecting the tradition

[nichegoseoul]

SAD GIRLS by Lang Leave

Its a human nature: to have someone validate your own unique view of world

Our emotions pull us in different directions. Feelings are not always practical, or do they make any logical sense, thats just the way it goes

Im a stranger in my own life

It takes time to find out who you really are.

You have to figure out who you are before you take on that kind of responsibility

I learned writing is the consolation prize you are given when you dont get the thing you want most.

You seem like you're in this infinite loop: one step forward, two steps back. But i do think you're making strides, even if your not aware of it yourself.

We all need to follow our intuition, even if it takes us down the wrong path. Otherwise, you’ll always be second guessing yourself.

Your first love isnt the first person you give your heart to - - it’s the first one who breaks it.

I couldnt bear the thought of never seeing you again

Too many great things in this world get lost to reason

Missing someone can sometimes be the best thing for a writer

I used to think people were like lighthouses. That they were there to protect you. But they’re not. People are like whirpools, they pull you in; they drag you under. You have to work so hard just to keep your head above water.

It’s a beautiful thing, to love someone and have them love you back, everything pales in comparison.

I tried to push you away and you wouldnt let me. Then we grew close, i wanted to tell you but i couldnt handle the thought of losing you again

I knew i could never tell them the truth because they wouldnt ubderstand. How could i explain it to anither person if i couldnt even justify it to myself?

The truth is, everyone wants to believe theyre inlove but no one really is.

PS: Not all are in here 😢

[iyeonjuni]

HI ITS SNOWMAN ANON I JUST CAUGHT UP WITH THE NEW CHAPTERS!!!

IM JUST GONNA INCLUDE MY REACTIONS IN THIS ONE ASK BECAUSE!! just because .. and hru!! i hope youre doing great so far ^^

chapter 1:

RIP OFF THE BOYZ HELLO?? is yn okay they keep getting injuries (ft taehyun complaining that he has a soulmate 😭) WONYOUNG AND HYUKA SO CUTE IW ANT THEM AS FRIENDS… yn being helplessly inlove with their soulmate….

chapter 2:

WHO ARE THOSE VIPS THEYRE SO MEAN GRR BAKRBAKR GRR WOOF WOOF WOFOF WOFO GRRR GRRRR 🤬 YN FOLLOW THE DOCTORS ORDERS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR SOULMATE… omg yeonjun friends with yn?? is he the one whos gonna introduce them to tyun?? HES SUCH A GOOD AND CARING FRIEND ☹️

chapter 3:

:( taehyun :(( THE CEO CARING MORE ABOUT WHAT THE PUBLIC THINKS ABOUT THE COMPANY THAN TAEHYUNS HEALTH?? BARKBAKR WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF GRR GRR SNARL SNAR🤬🤬 BEOMGYU AND SOOBIN IN THE CLUB??? AUR NAUR 🧍‍♀️yeonjun i dont know if this fate ur talking abt is good or not honestly i dont think he wants to see the two 🤞 that whole conversation was suffocating it was so awkward 😭😭 BEOMGYU WHY ARE U STARING LIKW THAT NOO..

chapter 4:

I HOPE TAEHYUNS ALRIGHT ☹️‼️ YN SO TRUE DONT OVERWORK YOURSELF AYO?! yntyun might meet at the diner im so excited for the next chapter ‼️‼️‼️

good work as always cici!! im loving it so far and i promise im gonna send asks more often again!!

-⛄️‼️

omg HI SNOWMAN ANON I MISSED YOU SM

hi hi!!! i'm doing alright so far been very bored though ,, i hope you're doing well <33

and EE super excited for your reactions!!! SO HERE ARE MY COMMENTS

yn is alright but the after effects of the injuries do get to them sometimes ,, but they are trying their very best not to overwork TOO MUCH!! taehyun REALLY isn't happy with having a soulmate (will he come through...who knows...) WONYOUNG AND KAI 4LYFERS literally the best of friends (i want them as friends too ,,)

HELP THE BARKING IS BACK ,, BUT SO TRUE MY ENXT BOYZ DON'T DESERVE THIS !!! BARK BACK!! AND YES yn is friends with yeonjun WHO WILL BE THE KEY TO EVERY YNTYUN THING THERE IS .. poor yeonjun a middle man .. but CAN HE MANAGE THE TWO ??

this chapter made everyone sad ,, it made me too .. taehyun doesn't deserve this treatment .. and right the conversation between beomgyu soobin and taehyun is very off .. i mean they haven't seen each other in AGES ,, and yes beomgyu.. heh

AND NOW FOR THE RECENT CHAPTER !! it was a very short one but IT IS TO BUILD UP THE POSSIBILITY OF YNTYUN MEETING SO NEXT CHAPTER (which will be out wednesday) WILL BE WHERE IT ALL GOES DOWN!!

thank you so much for reading this one with me as well!!! im always super excited to see your reactions ,, and take your time with the asks as well!

[ettuce-blog]

hhi i <3 ryder

 sdfghjkl SSOBS  HHI hh,, im tig n its 1:17 in the morning and im rley sad and lonley and,,, uh yea,,,, lovesick,,, and im,,,,, a sad loser who is clingy n bad,,,, and really,, anoying,,, and wants to not exist,, n rydr is asleepe,,,, and,,, i miss them alot and,,,, im goin to go cry again,,later, ,,,,,,,,,,,  but even tho im sad i wanna make somone hapy sso i jst decided,, to wrtie a thing fr my favorite person in th entire universe bcus theyr the only one wwho makes me superrr happyeee :D ccries,,, hhhhhh okaaaa 

sob HHHHHhhhhhh I LLOV rydr soo SSO SOOooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333 hhnhn I LOVEE THEMMmmm nkggfdssdfghjkkhj imight die,,,theyr so amazing and i think theyr th best n theyr actually perfect ssobb ilov everything about them so much,,,, ssobs ilov thm so much sometimes i jst,, sit on th floor and just,, cry sobs,,, im nnot realy good at talkng n wordss nn sstuf ssob hh ;;W;;,,,but um hh,, id never ever ever,, trade them for anything in th entire universe everr,,,, i never WWANNA CHANGE ANYTHIN ABOUT THM EVERRRrr!!! bc theyre perfect just the way they are ssobb <33 HHNGJjgb  ssobb ther really realy RREALYY NNICE TO MEE  SSOBBB NN PRETYyy nn amazing annn superr super super TALENTEDD ANDD AMAZINGGGg even tho iam annoying and too affectionate,,,,,,,, ANDB OMG ther art is litterally th best,, ssob its actual   g o l d and i would jump of a cliff fr them and ther art,,,, n would sell my kidney and my feet fr thier art,,,,its jst hhnjgffffhjjngdddg AND!! they can write soo wellllllllll TOO!! SHGDFH SSOB THY WRITE SOoooooo AMAZINGLY GOODD HH,, like gggosh hhhh i jst

i

cannobt

evn hjnghjsbjmhkksfgdvhj

AND OMGOMGGGgg THEYY MAKE MEE SSSOOO HAPPYYYyy HHhh they make me smile evn wwhen im ssupr ssad ssob SSOB I TRYY SUPER HARDD ALL TH TIME TO MAKE THEM HAPPYYYYE AL TH TIMEE <3333 BECAUSE THEY!!! MEAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TOO MEEEEEEE !!!’<3333 //cries on th floor,, and theyre the only person who realyy cares nn sstuff and talks to me and i feel realy safe with them and,, andn they light up my life and iduno what id do without thhem ssobb an iduno ssob,, they jst,,, iduno im jst realy inlov with them,,,,,,,,,, AND THE’Y ARE SUPER PRETTYYYY AND REALLY REALY CUTe,,,,,,      ;;W; <33 ,,,,,,,  and hDGJGHGjfbdfh THEYRR THEEEE CUTEStT PRETTIEStT hhHOTTEST PERSON ALIVE EVERrrrrr SSOBS like rly theyr REALLYYYYY great,,,,,,,n rly???? hot i,,,guess,,i,,,,,,,,,im ace but,,,,,,,i guess,,,, im like,,,,,,,,,,60% acesexual for,,,, them???????????? iv never,, ever been attracted to anyone,,, but i,,,,,, i

ILIKE THEM alo t 

rydr is not jst pretty,,,,,,,,, they ar,,, mag n i f i c e n t,,, beautiful,,, a d o r a b le,,, the best,,,, and jst,,, sso amazing and perfect ssobb i duno hhh

an NNOT ONLY ar they good at evereything,,,,,,,,,, but they r also a thief,,, BC THEy stole my heart 17284858585 times cries an theyr the lov of my life oka sobs,,,, tthey make me sso happy hh,,  my lov fr them triples evereyday,, and i alreaddy lov them mor than anything that ever existed ever ccriies theyr like,,, the only personn wwho can make me feel really realye happy!! ssobs n i love them so ssso much an,, idk ssob,,  thatss kinda scaryy to mee hh ssob,,, but its oky!!! ilov them ssoo much iduno really wwhat else to say rrealy ssob i always telll them that ilov them n stuff n idk i dont wanna be annoying,,,

BUttttT ILOV THEMM SSO MUCHhhhhh 

( iam sory,,, if ur reading this rydr,,,ilov u,,,,,,,,,) i   //sweats,,,,,,,,,

 i wouldf,,,,,,,,, die fr u,,,,,,,, sobs,,,,,,,,, 

n im sooo terribl at describing things jst like im terribl at evereything else ssob,,,,  hhnn im ssorrry,,, BUT SSOBS ther the bestest person i hv ever met in the entire universe and i would die fr them and i would take 45785855 bullets fr them,, and would walk to th moon for them,,, n i wil go wwherever they wanted me tooo n i would walk to thier house in a blizardd if they wer sad or wanted me to a blizard,, inside a hurricane,,, yes,, a hurricane blizzard,, sddfghjk  AND i cant wait to meet them !!!!!!!! <333 n hug them forever an never let go ever until they yell at me,, and live togethr one day and bake them cookies <33 and give them flowers n tel them ilov thm everey second!! and annoy them at night,, and watch scarey movies together and look for ufos,,, an meet ther fav musicians and to just make them feel hhhappy and safe an do watever they like!! ssobs also ilov them mor than they lov madeon which is alot,,,, iam,, i  im,,,

im super super sorrrey this is verey long,,,,,  ;; W ;

iam sory for the typos,,,,,,my keyboard is broken,,, that is my excuse 

 also iam ryders #1 fan,,,,,,,,,,

[noxitic-blog]

Foundation

Some langst i thought up of

•Lance is jealous that Keith has Shiro , Pidge has Hunk , Coran has allura . He felt left out and unfit for the group . He truly left like a 7th wheel .

•Lance is still insecure and never had reassurance , so he thought it would be best to just leave and go back to earth .

•he thinks leaving would be the option since allura had taken over the blue lion . Plus he would be able to see his family again . (Though he doesnt really want to leave because the palladins are also his family)

•he decides to pack at night and he goes up To blue to say goodbye and tells her she will always be his lion and he goes to red and thanks her for accepting him and his voice starts to crack and ends up crying and he says take care of keith cause he can be hot headed

 •He went inside his space pod and took one last sigh and remembered all the times he had with his friends . How he looked up to Shiro , How he will miss his bestfriends cooking , being a brother figure to Pidge while still looking for matt , becoming good friends with allura , seeing coran as his uncle and lastly , how now overcame the rival stage with keith and became close friends with him .

• He hesistates for a moment , but continues anyway . His last words were “ I know you guys can do it . Goodluck on defending the universe" and rides off into space .  

 •Next morning  , they were to report to a meeting to discuss their next attack on lotor . Once all of them was there , they questioned the absence of Lance . They probably thought he overslept or totally forgot about the meeting , so they decided to go to his room .  They knock on his door , but he there was no answer , so they all went inside . They looked around and he was no where to he found , but they saw a paper on his bed that says . “Im sorry I couldnt tell you any of this , but I left to go back to earth . I miss my family . I- I really appreciate the time we all had together and defending the universe with you guys” . P.S , Allura , take care of blue for me .  

 • 3 days has passed , Lance not knowing where he is , not knowing how many light years he is  from earth . The silence of the space pod , was uncomfortable for him . He enjoyed hearing the laughter and the voices from his friends , feeling a tear form in his eyes he tells himself , “its okay , its okay he wipes his tears and says

• “dont regret any of this . Theyre better off without me ”

 •His space pod is running out of fuel and hes also running out of supplies to eat . He had no option , but to go to the closest planet . Strangely enough it was the balmera planet . 

 •He landed safely in the balmera planet , he looked around to see the planet was lively and safe . He was shocked when he heard a girl say “hey , arent you hunks friend?” He turned around to see shay . 

, he remembered her when they were fighting and protecting the balmera from getting destroyed . Also , Hunk wouldnt stop talking about her and how grateful he was to have met her . The boy was totally inlove with her . He smiled as memories flood in of him and hunk in the kitchen , while hunk was preparing to make a special meal , Lance was just sitting ,  staring at his bestfriend prepare the meal while , he talked about the love of life . He was talking about how Shay was a very nice person and hunk had such a soft look on his face while talking about her . and Lance just smiled at his bestfriend , glad that hes found someone he was fond of . He also questions if he , himself wil also find someone he can talk about so proudly and fondly of . Then Lance , remembered how Allura and Keith were getting closer and how bothered he was by it . 

“I hate his stupid mullet so much “ Hunk turned around and gave Lance a weird look . “Are you talking about Keith ?” Lance nodded , it was him alright his rival per say , although they were getting closer to one  another so we had no say of where their relationship stand was at the moment . 

Hunk asked “do you actually hate him? “ Lance looked at Hunk weirdly , he was caught off guard with the question . Honestly , he never did , he never hated the guy . not at all . its quite the opposite , he respected him a lot due to his abilities  , he was envious of him . he would never say this to Keiths face , but hes axtually glad to be his rival . His thoughts were interupted when Shay was waving a hand in front of him , asking him if hes alright . 

“O-ohh What was that ? ,  sorry I was thinking about something” Lance sighed , hunk would be so jealous of him right now , he’d been dying to see Shay . Shay looked at lance with concern , but with a tint of curiosity , “Are the other palladins with you ? “ Shay was looking at Lance for an answer , Lance just looked at her , sweat dropped down his forehead . how was he going to explain all of this to her ? . 

“Oo-oh no just me and my handsome self ✨” Lance tried to hide the the overcoming feeling of  sadness and guilt with a smile . Shay noticed this a bit , but decided to nodd it off . “Oh I see , so what brings you here palladin?” . Lance was stuck in a turmoil , should he tell her ? Should he tell her hes just visiting ? It wouldnt be bad to tell her right? She had no way to contact Hunk so he wouldnt know and they wouldnt come looking for him . He needed to leave fast . 

“Why would he leave us ? “ Hunk slid back on the couch , looking up at the ceiling , worried about what happened to his bestfriend , if hes okay , if the galrans captured him . A lot of negative thoughts circled his mind. He knew his bestie wouldnt just up and leave . He knew something was wrong . “well he did say in the letter , he missed his family , so thats what motivated him to leave “ Pidge replied as she was typing on her computer trying to get coordinates of Lotors where abouts .  “I know that , but I think theres more to this than what we see “ Shiro replied as he walked back and forth across the room trying to think of ways to get a hold of Lance , also worried about his safety . Keith was silent throughout this , but his mind is jumbled of thoughts that occurred during the bedroom scene . Now recalling it , Lance did go to him , saying he would step down since he wasnt needed . They were getting closer or so he thought . Everytime he was getting closer to Lance , Lance goes farther away and Keithwas now angry . Lance didnt tell him anything about leaving . His head hurt . Did lance think he was useless to the team? Did he feel inferior ? His train of thoughts were interrupted when Hunk shot up from his slouch position , and screamed “ We have to go find him” everybody looked at Hunk , they knew he was serious . He was , Lances bestfriend afterall . 

“But Lotor can be roaming around and we need to find him . We dont have time to look for Lance” Keith lashed out . Keith now regretting what he said , he was angry at Lance for leaving the group . . Just leaving a piece of letter behind and went on with his life . What about his duty as a palladin? He thought Lance was being selfish . His own selfishness will cause the group to be in disaray . He looked at Hunk and saw a painful look on Hunks face  . Hunk sighed and replied . &ldquo ,no one stopped you when you tried to look for your brother (Shiro) , but you cant stop me when im looking for my bestfriend . If you guys arent coming with me , im going alone “ Hunk was determined to find Lance . He knew something was wrong , he knew Lance enough to know when he did something irrational , it was due to his inner turmoil . All that said he needed to go look for him . 

“Um my space pod kind of ran out of gas , but Ill just stay here for a bit to rest and look for some supplies , if thats alright with you guys?“ nbsp;“ Lance looked at Shay for an answer just responded  “"oh okay , please come, youre more than welcome , meet the other balmerians , we will be happy to help , since you saved us “ Lance was happy Shay was here . She was a calming person to be around , and also glad that theyre giving him hospitality . Also , he was all alone to a kind of new enviornment so , he wasnt fully relaxed yet . 

Keith looked at Hunk and wanted to apologize  , but was already walking away .  Keith got up to catch up to Hunk , only to for the both of them to be stopped by Allura . “You guys just , please lets all calm down and talk this through , I know we are all sad about Lance , but we need to make a plan before actually going out to look for him ”

They both stopped in their tracks , surprised that Allura isnt going to tell them that we need to move on , just like she did with Shiro , but to come up with a plan to help look for him .

“I dont want him to end up alone , hurt and discomfort . I dont want him to go through what Shiro went through , so lets take precautions .” They all looked at Allura and smiled . Shiro went through a lot and went through more . She didnt want the same thing happening to Lance . She became good friends with Lance and she didnt want this friendship to tarnish . Moving on didnt help Shiro and the team . It made them mature yes , but the wound was still there .

Hunk started to walk back and Keith stopped him and apologized “Hunk , look , im sorry , I - it came out wrong and I didnt mean to say it that way ” Hunk also apologized for acting irrational “its okay buddy , and im sorry to , I just , I just worried about him . They gave each other weak smiles and walked back to the couch .

“Iv never seen Hunk so serious before , nice job keef ” Keith was about to retort , but only gave her a look . He wanted to keep his tempure on check , since backlashing isnt going to help anything . She snorted  and continued to look up at her computer screen . she stopped looking for Lotors coordinates , but instead was looking for a way to locate Lances location . This was harder than she thought since they had no knowledge of what kind of Pod Lance used . Pidge didnt want to show that she was concerned about Lance , but in reality she really was . She was like his brother and now for him to walk out of her life like that felt like Matt was leaving her all over again . It hurted her . She didnt want to experience the pain all over again .

Shay led Lance to were a bunch of balmerans were . It looked to be a gathering of some sort . “Here lance have some food ” Lance took the food and gave it a weird look , questioning what it was , why did it look so pink and gooey , but Lance had no choice , since his stomach was practicaly screaming to be full .

“Lets do a little introduction , heres my family , thats my brother Rax , my grandmother Rena  , my father rox  , and my grandmmother Rilla” Lance bowed and pointed his gun fingers at them and greeted them . “Hey there the names , Lancey Lance , but you can call me handsome ✨” they all looked at him and gave a nervous laugh and sweat dropped. They didnt know how to react to such a behavor . Rena walked up to Lance and gently grabbed his arm , “youre more than welcome to be here , after saving us from such tragic . ” her smile was warm and big . Lance felt a gush of happiness , she reminded him of his Abuelita from back home . Her sweet singing , her good cooking , he- all of sudden tears start streaming from his eyes . 

He really missed his mother  hugs , his grandmothers hugs , the rain , the verardo beach , his little cousins , but he also missed playing on Pidges computer and using her headphones to listen to music , watching Hunk cook and charting with him about everything , training with Shiro , having small talks with Allura , helping coran clean the healing pods and Keith , he missed Keith , and His stupid mullet , he misses bickering with him . Everything was crashing down on him . He was so tired . He hated the feeling of not being of use to the team , he hated feeling like a hindurance to the team . Tired . Tired of everything . Tired of being away from both of his homes at the same time . His home at the castle of lions and his home art earth . Rena took Lances arm and asked if he was alright , Lance looked at her and he couldnt do it anymore , he hugged Rena , and poured out his heart . “Im so sorry” his voice cracked “im so selfish , im not a good friend , i-i Im so useless I hate mysel-” Rena hushed him and held him in her arms . Lance held on to Rena , he could feel his legs give out . They both fell on the floor , Lance still clutching onto Rena. Rena told the other balmerans to leave them be , except Shay . 

Shay looking sympathetically towards Lance , wishing she could help him anyway possible . She wished Hunk was here to also help him . She sar next to Lance and Rena . The tears wouldnt stop , he wanted to go home , but he didnt know which home . With the palladins or with his earth family . A fee moments later Lance fell in a slumber sleep . Shay ruffled Lances hair and wiped tears away , she looked at Grandma Rena and asked , “Do you think Lance will be okay? ” Rena looked at Lance , she thought that poor guy looked like he was having a hard time with himself , but he looked a bit relaxed in his sleep . “Yeah he will be fine . He just needs time . “ 

 Pidge pulled up a map of the galaxy “Okay so Lance shouldnt be that far from us , his space pod should only get him a atleast 2 if not three planets away from us ” Allura inserted , ” there are three possible planets that he went to since hes ran out of gas . First planet is Robus X , Ubio and lastly the Balmera Planet . . Hunk walked up to the map and closely looked up at the three planets . He examined them one by one . Robus X and Ubio was out of the list , he looked at the balmeran planet , he has a hunch he might be there . “you guys , I feel like Lance would be in the Balmera planet” Pidge looked at Hunk and grinned . Pidge went up to Hunk and lightly poked his stomach and teased him “ you just want to see your girlfriend ” . Allura , Shiro and Keith and Coran just looked at each other and shrugged . “No-no you guys , im being serious , I have a feeling hes there ” They all looked at him and remembered how Hunks hunches were somewhat accurate . And everybody decided they would put faith in Hunks hunch . Shiro walked up to Hunk and placed his hand on his shoulders and smiled at him . “ Okay Coran and Allura , lets go to the Balmera Planet “ Coran and Allura got into their position and opened up a black hole in front of them . A black hole that goes right into the Balmeran Planet .In everybodies head , they hope Hunk is right and that he is there and safe . 

 Opening his eyes was harder than he thought . He felt like his eyes were shut with glue . He was laying down on the floor a rock as a pillow , but somehow it felt really soft . Shay saw Lance shuffle on his sleep , and shook his shoulders a bit . “H-hey youre awake now , are you alright?” Lance looked up to see Shay , Smiling, but her eyes seemed so concerned about him . Lance got up and looked around the room to look for Rena . “Hey , im alright , thanks shay , by the way , wheres Rena?” Shay got up and grabbed a Cloth and put a bit if water on it and handed it to Lance . “Shes making us food at the moment , I wanted to help , but I wanted to tend to you ” Lance smiled and grabbed the cloth and wiped his face with it . He probably looks terrible from all that crying and sniffing . “Food is ready , im glad youre awake Lance ” Shay got up and helped Rena set up the table and food .  

Lance felt so bad , he felt like hes been taking advantage of them , first he comes uninvited to their planet and take their supplies to embark on his journey to earth , where he literally has no idea which way it is, next He showed him how weak he was by crying infront of them and now he is being fed .This is too much . He is always recieving , but never giving back . He Couldnt stay here any longer , he needed to leave . He didnt want to inconvinence them any longer so Lance has decided . “Hey Rena and Shay thanks for everything , but youve done enough , I cant take anymore from you guys , thank you. I really need to get going Ladies” Lance gets up to leave only to be stopped by Rena 

. “Please stay to eat , you need it ” He looked at Shay and Rena , eyes were pleading to stay with them , he was about to retort , but he sighed and gave in . Theyre too nice of a person to say no to . All of three started to walk towards the table and pick at their food . Lance looked at his food and back at both Shay and Rena . He was truly , thankful , for these two. They also reminded him of his sister and his grandma . Rena noticed Lance staring at her and smiled , “ Something the matter ? ” Lance looked away still a smile on his lips and tells them of how the three of them eating reminded him of his sister and grandma. “Ahh , I see , why dont you tell us more about your earth family ? ” Shay asked excitedly . 

Lance realized he has only known these two for only in a short amount of time , but he didnt hesitate to tell them at all . It felt natural to tell them , natural to talk to them . Hes about to tell them his life story . Not that he wouldnt mind , its just that , it felt like hes been knowing them forever , Thats a good sign . Or a weak sign because he trusts too easily , but he knows deep in his heart , these people are too be trusted . “W-well , I have a big family at home . I have 3 little cousins , 2 brothers and 2 sisters , Im the oldest one and of course my grandma , my mother and my dad . ” Lance smiled as he remembers his hometown and his friends and his favorite beach in the world . The verardo beach . “Our family would always go to the beach , even when its cold . We are commitsd to Tuesday Beach Day . Lance laughed and continued ” I always look after my brothers and sisters at home while my parents where away from work. My mom is has a resturant and my dad helps with the cooking . Also , My mother gives the best hugs!!“ Lance remembers during his birthdays , his other siblings birthdays , relatives birthday , or any holiday . There would always be a lot of food . And a lot of people would come over friends and family . It would get crazy and loud , but fun. “My grandma , she also gives the best hugs , I cant say whose hugs i like more , but theyre both the best ” Lance paused to eat some of his food and continued “ My three cousins , are a big pain in the butt to take care of . Seriously they run around all over the place ! . One time they tied me up and put my hair in a pony tail !” Rena and Shay in unison laughed , Rena thought . Lance had such a vibrant and all around fun family . Of course , there will always be discourse here and there , but would it really be a family if there wasnt ? Rena stopped laughing and wiped the tear from her eyes “Your family must be really fun to be with , truly they do love and miss you .” Lance smiled turned into a frown he thought “ love and miss me huh? , I wonder if they do , I wonder if theyre looking for me and or even remotly remember me at all” lances train of thought interrupted when Rena asked

 ” so , what about your palladin family?“ Lance looked up to Rena and hesistated to answer for a sec , but proceeded . "W-well , um theres 7 of us . 2 beautiful ladies , Allura , shes really smart and shes an altean princess and super strong , youve met her before . Theres Pidge , shes a gremlin ,but shes my little sister kinda , shes tech savy and really smart . Theres Coran , hes like my uncle , he makes me help him clean the healing pods , I really found it boring at first , but now I have fun cleaning it with him since he now puts music . Theres Shiro , hes the man I look up to the most , hes a great leader and I aspire to be like him one day . Also , hunk , my best bud , my man , been knwoing that guy ever since , super humble , hes really smart and handsome . Anyone would be lucky enough to be his girlfriend. Lance glanced over at Shay and Shay looked away with tinted pink cheeks . He couldnt wait for Shay and Hunk to actually be together . They would give Lance cavity . Lance laughed , and continued . Last , but not least , ugh mullet guy . “This guy , him and his stupid mullet . I mean hes not a bad guy , but he ignored me when we went to garrisons together , but then he gets mad over me not remembering our “bonding moment” , and now he became my rival , well , not really anymore I think . Lance puts his spoon down and puts his hand under his chin and raised his eyebrows “ I mean , well . I dont think hes my rival anymore , I guess were friends now ? I mean , Hes a cool guy flying into asteroids and cool junk like that. So ,I dont hate him that much , well I dont hate him , I dont think I ever hated him . I guess I want to he friends with him , but I dont know , I think he hates m- Lance stopped when the room filled with Laughter from both Shay and Rena 

. "I think you like this guy , I think youre mixing your feelings with hate and like and rivalry ” Lance looked at them with an unamused face with a tint of blush on his cheeks . “Who would like him? Anyway , I mean ” Lance remembers their bonding moment , (vividly) , when they held hands , when keith gave him the softest smile when he saved up from a flying sword , Keith smiling fondly at him when he made a joke about being the sharpshooter . Their backs touching one another when they were stuck on the elevator. Lances face was now a full on tomato, he turned to look away from the two of them. This is so embarrassing . “Stupid brain , stop THINKING ABOUT HIM , HIS MULLET , HIS FACE, HIS LIPS , WHY WOULD I LIKE HIM WE ALWAYS BICKER , HE HATES ME , BUT WE PROTECT EACH OTHER FROM HARM , I MEAN THATS WHAT EVERY COUPLE DO RIGHT?!?! WAIT WHY AM I COMPARING US TO A COUPLE? gaah STUPID BRAIN  

"You have an amazing family Lance ” Lance now calm , looked at his plate and back at Rena . “yeah , theyre the best . I miss them ” Lance grabbed a spoonful and continued to eat . “ Why are you trying to leave your family? ”

as he was about to eat his food , he paused midair and slowly put the spoon down . “W-well , its , just that I feel that Im not good enough to be on the voltron team” Rena and Shay concerned about him. “so this is what was bothering the kid?” Rena thought . Both her and Shay got up from their seats and hugged Lance . Rena and Shay ruffled his brown hair . “Lancey , my boy , Sometimes the world feels like its against us , sometimes its not the world , its our ourselves that we are fighting ” Lance listened contently . Shay continue “you know , Lance , when I have a problem , usually I can fix it myself , but if Im not able to . I have my friends and family . If they have a problem , I would also give them a helping hand because thats what friends and family do . You dont have to always shoulder your burdens , you have plenty of shoulders to lean on . If you dont have a shoulder to lean on you can have arms ” Both Rena and Shay wrap their arms around his shoulders . 

 "A strong foundation that can keep you up from falling down” Lance was shocked , he never felt so much love in this while , he starts to grab both of their arms and hug them . Tears streaming down his facewhile continuously saying “thank you guys so much ”. This moment , was a moment Lance , will truly forever cherish . He was so grateful to have met these two . It felt like he had just made another family , He showed them his beautiful and darkside and they embraced it . They embraced him . They accepted him and helped him even when he was just a stranger who just landed on their planet for resources . Their hospitality and love that was graced upon him and honestly he felt like he didnt deserve it ,but accepted it whole heartedly . Rena and Shay felt happy for Lance to be able to pour out his feelings , though they werent sure , if his self doubts would continue , but he would know now himself that people care about him . All three of them crying and hugging each other was interrupted when they heard a loud sound coming from outside . All of them , looked at each other , wipping each others tears and looked outside to see what was all the commotion 

. Lance shocked to see the ship , he also questioned how they were able to track him down , but then he remembered they had Hunk and In the team , so it wasnt that impossible to do so . But He was now feeling guilty and selfish and useless all over again . He now burdened the team more by making them waste their time trying to locate him , when instead should be focusing on locating Lotor and find out about his plans . Everyone gathered to see a small space pod landing . The door opened , Revealing the palladins and the princess . Shay looked over and saw Hunk , she was quite nervous , but happy so see him . Shay started to run towards the crowd and waved at Hunk . They both run towards each other and hug one another . 

  Hunk was now blushing furiously , unable to speak the words he wanted to speak “ H-hey Shay ! Lon-ng time no see ! ” Shay laughed at his stuttering and smiled at him , “ its good to see you again” The palladins caught up to hunk and shay . Shay saw the others coming up behind Hunk . Shay walked up to allura and greeted her . “ Princess Allura and palladins its good to see you guys again , how can he help you?” “Our friend has gone missing and we were wondering if you had seen him? ” Keith nervously looking around and hoping to see Lance , but there was no sign of him at all . Maybe he wasnt in this planet , maybe they were wasting all this time that he was at another planet . Wasting time when they could help him he was out there stranded or wounded “Are you refering to Lance? ” Keiths train of thoughts stopped as he heard  Lances name . He was here? Where is he ? Keith started to look around at the people . 

 Rena and Lance looked at the crowd gathering around the palladins . Lance was super anxious to approach them , he had no way out now . He needed to apologize to them for burdening them . Rena looked up at Lance and placed a hand behind his back. And looked back at the crowd . “you dont have to yet go my son , but I know youre itching to see them again” Rena turned to Lance again finding him in a turmoil . Lance didnt have a choice , they were already here so might as well go with him and explain to them whats happening with him . Talking to Rena and Shay really helped and cleared his mind a bit . Lance hugged Rena “ Granny Rena , thank you for everything” and walked off to see the palladins . He was nervous , what if they kill him?well thats not really possible . But what if they hate him now? What if theyre just here so they could tell him theyre glad to leave him behind ? Either way he/ prepared with anything theyre going to say towards him .

 "Hes here? Allura asked and Shay nodded . Every one was shocked and happy to find out that hes landed here . Hunk sighed in relief and questioned “so where is- “Im here” Lance answered he had his other hand on his neck . Rubbing it back and fourth and the other hand on his pocket trying to look for something to pick at . 

Everyone turned and looked at Lance , they saw that he had red puffy eyes , ragged clothes and looked like he hasnt been eating or sleeping in months . Pidge , Allura , Coran and Hunk start to run towards him and hug him tightly . Lance wasnt expecting that at all . He expected to be reprimanded at . Expected to be hated . His thoughts were stopped when all of them started screaming in unison . 

 “MY BESTFRIEND HOW COULD YOU , WHO WAS I GOING TO NOW WHEN I MAKE EVERYONE FOOD ?!?! ” Hunk sobbed , he was grateful Lance was safe . He wouldnt be able to live if his bestfriend was harmed and or dead . “I HATE YOU - I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE LIKE MATT AGAIN , DONT DO THIS AGAIN OR I WONT LET YOU USE MY HEADPHONES TO LISTEN TO SHAKIRA !! “ Pidge hugged Lances waist tightly . She was glad that Lance was safe , but she now haded to reprimand him later , if he ever decides to leave again , no shakira or laptop for a month . Coran screaming , “MY SONNNNN , MY SONNN YOU ARE SAFE , I FELT LONELY CLEANING THE PODS MYSELf ” Coran clinging on to his feet . Coran has lost many people in his life . Thr first gen Palladins . He didnt want to lose the other . He was glad he was safe . Shiro placed a hand on Lances shoulder and smiled at him “ Im glad youre safe ” . Shiro was reliefed that Lance wasnt captred by the galra . He was in good care and thats all that mattered . Allura hugged lances back “ YOU DARE LEAVE US ,HOW COULD YOU I FELT BETRAYED , I WAS WORRIED WE WOULDNT SEE YOU AGAIN ” Allura cried . She was began to start a new friendship with Lance and for Lance to be gone wouldve left a wound on her .  

Keith was in the back watching the commotion , he sighed contently . He was glad that Lance was okay , but still a bit mad for leaving them . Keith decided to walk up slowly to them . “H-ey , we’re glad to have our sharpshooter back. ” Keith blushed and looked away , he didnt know what say at the time other than that .maybe saying welcome back couldve been better ? .

 Everybody was now looking at Lance and Keith . Keith was embarrased to look back at Lance , but he looked anyway to see Lances reaction . Both starring at one another . Lance looked like a riped tomato . He can barely hold himself to say something . Now everybody was interested to see where this was going . “W-why are you blushing mullet?!?!” “I SHOULD BE ASKING you that , why are you blushing?!!” Keith was now embarrsed . He wished the ground undrr him would open up and swallow him . He decided that he would walk away and walk back small space pod . “Keith wait , I wanted to talk with you and everybody” Keith stopped and looked back at Lance and started walking back towards him . He remembers that he still hasnt told them the reason why he actually really left . He left them hanging , with an excuse at that . Its understandable that youd want to see your family again , but it still didnt add up , knowing Lance , he wasnt a selfish person , not at all . There was much more than "I just want to see my family”

Everybody stopped clinging on to Lance and was now facing him , waiting for an explaination . Lance took a deep breathe and told himself its okay you can do this . You can tell them . Just be yourself and tell them . After all , theyre your family . You 2 new families . The palladins and Shay and Rena.

 “I-im sorry , for being a burden again , I-” Dang it , Lance thought the tears are forming again and he still havent even gotten far into his explaination yet . Everybody looked at Lance , sending worried looks on his way . Shay and Rena walked over to Lance and gave him a patt on the back . He looked at both of them and he nodded . He breathed in and out and continued “I-I left because I thought that ……I was … I-I felt like a burden to the team . A useless weight …….. Allura has the blue lion , S-Shiro was back so he was going to take Black from Keith and Keith would want his Red back , why should I be there ? I dont have a purpose anymore …. I think. I think everybodies inferior to me , Pidge is smart , Hunk is also smart , Shiro is a leader , Allura was powerful , Coran also had knowledge and Keith , Keith I , I also admired you . I- I just I was just I just - I just felt miserable being around with people whos abilities are off the charts , but now thinking about it and thinking about thr times I-I had with the team “ Lance stopped , his breathing patterns were off and the tears in his eyes were getting heavier . "I- I felt more miserable when I left you guys ” Lance cradled himself and crying . Everybody shocked and tears filled their eyes . They went up to Lance and hugged him . “Lance , the lion switch was temporary , dont worry about it . Youre not a burden to the team . Not at all . Youre far from that . We became good friends now , you always have my back , im super thankful for you . ” Allura assured Lance . Hunk pulled lance in a crushing hug and screamed “ Why would you think that? You saved us plenty of times ! Youre my bestfriend , I know we always joke around , but really youre important to us !! I dont like seeing you hurt buudddy ” Hunk safely Landed Lance down And Pidge started hugged Lance again in the waist “ I never thought you were a burden , i think youre a great friend Lance , thank you for being a good substitute brother” Lance cried more loudly , this was it , this was what he needed . Reassurance from the team . Ressurance that he was needed and loved by his teammates or better yet , his family . Lance pulled Hunk , Pidge and Allura in a tight embrace . Shiro walks up and patts him in the head , Lance looks up at Shiro and smiles “we never once thought you were a burden ,not at all . Youre a great sharpshooter Lance . Youre always improving and honestly you improved the most so far . ” Shiro got a bit teary eyed . Lance was like his brother to him , (well maybe brother in law in the future if things work out between him and keith) Coran interjected “ NOOOO MY SON , MY GORGEROUS SON , NEVER THINK NEGATIVELY ABOUT YOUR SELFFFF ” Coran lifted his hand up to Lances hair and ruffled them . "You make all of us proud my son ”

 Keith was watching his teammates sob and cradle Lance . He wouldve been lying if he said he didnt want to , but he wasnt to keen in showing public diplay of affection . He walked up to them slowly . Hunk , Shiro , Pidge , Allura and Coran stop hugging Lance and looked at Keith coming up towards them . They all looked at each other and smiled and walked away from Lance . Lance was now confused , was Keith going to punch him? Yell at him? What what?

Keith walks up to Lance pulls on the hem of his shirt and places his forehead against his. Everybody was shocked by this . Pidge took out her made shift phone and started taking pictures . The picture was quite perfect with greenish lighting , but also sun arraying on them . The other palladins saying sighing contently saying finally . Keith sighed and looked at where he is gripping Lances shirt “I-im not good with words , but next time you have a problem , come to me , dont go far away from me , come and i-ill open my arms wide for you to hug .” Keith looks  up at Lance for an answer and they both felt liked the world stopped when theyre eyes met  . They were inches apart . Inches from closing the gap between them .  

Everybody was starring at them intensely while , Keith and Lance starred at each other for a while blushing madly . Keith was getting embarrassed and weird stares that peope are giving them . Also to his weird little speech towards Lance . Keith lets go of Lances shirt and turns the other way “A-anyway thats all . lets go home” All of sudden , everybody was screaming sounding dissapointed “NO KISSS?!?!” Keith and Lance now frozen in their place . Lance looked like he was about to pass out , while keith looked like he was about to kill everybody . 

 But all in all , Lance is happy , he didnt know they cared about him this much . Or probably they did care about him a lot , but couldnt see through it due to his negative thoughts and fears . Tears streaming down his face again , truly he was fighting himself , not the world . He realized these people actually care about him . He was needed . He was loved .It was him that needed to overcome his insecurity fears and doubts . Although , it wont be easy to overcome , but truly he has wonderful people to help him overcome it . He also made a new family . Reana and Shay , he cant wait to meet up with them And his fanily back at earth after he finishes saving the world . He truly , is blessed and glad he had wonderful people in his life . Rena and Shay opened up his eyes and made him realize that he was worth more than he thought he was . 

 He now can finally , truly and contently say , the palladins , shay and rena and his family back at earth , are his foundation . ❣️ 

 The end 💙❤️

[wazm]

kinda lost blog

I just wish to feel genuine joy in my life. I'm so afraid of chasing my goals cos what if I get to where I need to be and it's not exactly what I want. nevermind trying to reach for my goals cos I've been doing that..working every day..trying to bring myself closer to my goals but fail...struggling to sit down and just write music...i can't get myself to do it... I can't get myself to create anything.. I procrastinate the things I'm supposed to do with irrelevant big tasks..trying to distract myself constantly... I just feel empty inside...

what makes my hallow chest even deeper is the fact that all my relationships remind me of the bad decisions I've made..and theyre, not even bad decisions..its just meh...average..nothing worthwhile noting really..combined with abunch of negative outcomes...like he fact that i know a shit ton of people but i have zero real friends...i once had a friend who knew me for more than 7 years but he never exactly knew his boundaries...he’d show up to my house unannounced...id never get space...but at least i still had a friend..id do countless favors for him and never ask him anything in return but giving me space...one time i tried distancing myself from him and when i started to notice, he got so offended...after this happened, we never spoke to months...probs the longest time apart since we’ve been friends...then we kinda rekindled things...and he decided to plan a guys trip to bring us closer together...trip was okay...but ended really bad...he blocked me off everything..games, facebook, whatsapp...everything...he lives up the road from me...but ive never seen him since....idk if its a blessing or a curse...i hope things are okay with him...he wasnt the smartest but he was smart enough to comprehend certain sitautions ive been going through...good enough for me to vent to and console me...thats kinda all i need sometimes...but no more of that...he was kinda my bridge to a group of other friends we had...and after the boys trip it was like i lost everyone..social life took a hard knock...im sorry..just wish you trusted me more...

i tried filling the void by making my gf do things i did with my friends...never went down well...she just seems like someone who never knows how to have fun anymore..we used to have interesting chats..i was so inlove with her, I never saw her flaws...and she taught me this word “resentment”...well its not tht i never saw her flaws...i just chose to ignore them..and told myself that things will get better, and she’ll grow..and change...but i feel like shes been making me more like her since we’ve been dating...i swear i did so much things before her...but we’ve been together so long, i dont even know who that person is anymore...i bet, even if i left her, i wouldnt be able to bounce back...and the odd thing is that, when we started dating almost 5 years ago, i made it our philosphy that we are individuals in a relationship, we are not the relationship but it seems like she wasnt even herself back then and started being me...and now its like, shes nothing without me and my whole life has grown so much onto her, i kinda feel the same in return...just less attached to her since i felt like i was feeding her nucleas...might be exaggerating but homegirl cant initiate anything without me. nevermind choosing a meal when we go out, she cant even make a plan without needing 90% input from my side...and thats how most things are between us...if shes upset, ill fix it...risk my life and beyond to fix it...physically have done this many times before...walked from my house to hers at 2am in the morning, through the ghettos, more than a kilometer away..even been gun pointed and got things stolen from me, just to make her feel better when she was upset in the middle of the night...im not expecting that in return but she lits does the bare minimum in return...id be sad, then she be like...awww...im sad you’re sad...done..thats it...she’d lits be like...what can i do to fix things....again wanting my input...i might as well be dating myself...idk why im with this girl anymore...i hurt inside everytime i tell her i love her...cos i just dont anymore...and its been like this for a while...i wish she found this post and decided to leave me..cos i cant leave her...ive broken her heart so many times and told her i wanted to leave but i just end up coming back to her cos im sucha fucking pussy seeking some sort of social acceptence or friendship and i feel like shes all i have rn...not much of a gf hey...but its not like im worth anything either...idk...im so paranoid shes cheated on me in the past cos shes lied to me in the past and told me 3 years later about those lies...you know when someone lies to you and then when you find out about the lies and you ask why’d you do it and shes like...idk...i just feel like its lies ontop of lies...really cant trust her....i wish i had it in me to cheat on her...but i just dont like most females...id be infatuated with someone but would be put off so easily by the slightest thign...things would make so much sense if i was secretly gay but im not...the longer i seem to be in this place, the deeper im digging my grave...i feel like the time with my almost 5 year relationship feels like its getting harder to leave the longer i stay in it....i really dont know what to do...but i feel like i fuck up most of my relationships...not just my romantic one...

my relationship with my parents are just a nightmare...same goes for my other family members...and you know what...i do so much for people...countless favors...countless volunteer jobs...extra miles for people who wont even move an inch for me...but just let me mention this to anyone, then im in the wrong...i just feel like i cant voice any shortcomings to anyone and im made out to be the bad guy for doing this....whether its my parents or my sisters...id do everything for them, and i do everything for them, even things they dont ask me for...but let me raise an opinion that doesnt resonate with them, and it turns into an argument and if i decide to step out before things get sour, im still made out to be the bad guy cos how dare i do something so rude....i just feel like no1 wants to listen to me at all...for my last birthday i tried staying away from my family and decided to work on a few movies with my friends and i had fun, we arent the closes friends but, campus friends...theyre actually in a whole other faculty..so we just barely know eachother but we’ve worked on movies before and thats kinda our history together as friends....so its my birthday and i agreed to work with them on this day...all day..from like 7am until almost 10pm..and my family, not communicating with me, decides to go out for supper for my birthday...and just expects me to leave this project im working on for them...so they invite people to join them for this birthday supper...without having me there...anyways after i finished my day shooting, i was pretty smug about working instead of spending the day with my family...and on the last few moments of my birthday my sister makes a shitty comment, wanting me to shut the fuck up cos she doesnt have the energy to listen to my voice..it really broken my heart, how my whole birthday was spoilt in moments....wish she couldve just waited a tiny bit longer...i wouldve been happy with that..but naa...no1 wants to listen to anything i have to say, let alone have me around in their presence....i just feel like starting a new life somewhere else...and thats kinda what i had planned...

really thought i was going to leave south africa and immigrate to australia to go sound study there...filled in all the paper work...spoke back-and-forth with the uni over there and they extended the communication so long, i thought things were set...seemed like i was so close to getting the big change ive been seeking for so long...but they sent me this stinky ‘ol email with extra modules id have to do and the tuition fees went from $11,000 to $35,000 which is ridiculous as my countries currency isnt australian dollars and is 10 units weaker than theirs...never in my life have i ever felt like money defined my life...lits had my life in limbo cos i was waiting for responses from this people...and when i finally got a response it was too late to apply at the local college...idk what im doing this year...i tried looking for work online, but no response...made ads for work on fiverr...tried upwork, tried quickengig...even rev...all these sites people advertise as quick ways to make money....a bunch of lies...i made $0, 3 weeks going now. nothing. i even invested in making a business logo, wrote descriptions...adjusted my ads multiple times...still...blue ticks from the online work field...i applied for jobs ive seen on indeed and on gumtree and jobfinder....but no response...nothing...blue ticked...ima say luckily im working part-time for this events company and its kinda an opportunity to network with the sound industry but the live sound industry is filled with racist pricks who patronize you when you’ve done the time to learn the work they know...so no work online freelancing, no work applying for work..no work physically meeting people...really makes me feel like this isnt a viable option for me...cant even study locally or internationally anymore...

im just so lost...alone..hurt..wish someone would save me the way ive saved others before..