#this audiobook didn't last long

[pastels-and-lace]

Current audiobook and sewing project 🌸

[clarabow-mp3]

i was out all day yesterday and by the time i got home i was like "wow maybe this physical activity thing actually works maybe i am capable of going out and doing things disability what disability i feel GREAT" and then i woke up this morning i was like ah. that disability.

[liu-anhuaming]

Reading Chinese Ebooks on 讀墨 ReadMoo

For the past few years, I've labored under the assumption that I can't read Chinese ebooks because I just can't focus on them. However, I recently saw someone on insta mention the app 讀墨. I was intrigued, and decided to give it a try. And wow, what a shock, I can in fact read Chinese ebooks! I just have to change it to vertical text and make the font very large.

So the past couple weeks I've been trying to read more consistently using 讀墨. The book I started with was slow going at first, which almost made me give up; it was the Chinese translation of The Last Cuentista by Donna Barba Higuera. This book really wasn't for me, and I didn't want to keep reading it. So instead of just giving up, I bought one more book and tried again: 《你的孩子不是你的孩子》 by 吳曉樂 (yes, it is the basis for the Netflix show of the same name).

I devoured the book in under a week. So yeah, I think Chinese ebooks work for me if I like the book.

Below is gonna be an overview of the app, and my thoughts on it so far. It's not comprehensive though, since there's a lot of things on this app I haven't explored yet (like the audiobooks).

***Please note that 讀墨 is a Taiwanese app, and as such it mainly offers books written in traditional characters. There are apparently books written in simplified available, but I haven't explored those since I'm fine reading traditional.***

Buying Books

Buying books is fairly simple. You make an in-app purchase of coins, which you then use to buy books. Note: As of writing this, I have recently recently received a notification from the app that their book purchasing system will be changing soon. Instead of being able to buy the books in the app, you'll have to log in to your account in a browser and buy the books there. The books will apparently then appear on the app for you to read.

As it stands, 210 coins costs $10.99, and the books I've bought have ranged in price from 210 to about 300 coins. That means the books cost ~$11-$16, just like a regular book. This could be pricey, but since I'd otherwise be paying for international shipping if I were buying a physical copy, this feels like a bargain to me. (For me, shipping books from Taiwan/China to the US typically doubles the price of the purchase rip)

Once you buy the book, it's in your library for you to start whenever you please.

As for browsing for books, I haven't gone too in-depth yet. I went in to 讀墨 with a TBR and went for books off that list exclusively. When it comes to buying books online, I almost always go on whatever site I'm buying from with a list of the books I'm thinking of buying. I get recommendations elsewhere (e.g., Goodreads or insta).

Reading Books

The 讀墨 reading interface is pretty typical for an e-reader app. What makes me like it way better than other apps I've used is that it has a lot more customization options.

For starters, you've got 6 options for page/text color. There's the typical black, white, and sepia, but there's also blue and green! I use the 奶綠 option, since I don't like having such a stark contrast between the text and the background when reading on my phone for long periods.

Then there's the options for changing the text size and spacing. You can make it bigger or smaller as you please, and put more or less space between each line of text.

You can also change the font. There's 8 different fonts you can choose from, including the default. There's even a font that puts 注音 next to each character! You can see a preview of that one in the photo below.

And then, there's the option to switch between horizontal and vertical text. The default is horizontal text, but I've come to prefer vertical when reading Chinese novels. If you go to your settings on your profile, you can make vertical text your default, which is what I ended up doing.

Like any good e-reader, there's options to highlight text. There's four different colors you can use (pink, yellow, purple, and blue). If you go the ToC, you can find all of your highlights and filter by color of highlight. Super convenient, since I've been using pink to highlight words/phrases I don't know or find interesting and yellow to highlight key sentences/paragraphs.

Aside from highlighting, when you select text you have the option to look the characters up in a dictionary or online. I've been getting a lot of errors with this recently, but I'm wondering if that's just my phone acting weird? It worked perfectly fine when I first started using the app. Anyways, the dictionary it takes you to is 夢典 MoeDict and it opens in a browser. This personally is a bit annoying bc I actually have this dictionary app installed on my phone, but this is a minor complaint. The dictionary opening in a new browser tab is a non-issue.

Reading Stats

Now, I'm a big dork and love to track my reading stats. To my great satisfaction, 讀墨 keeps track of some stats. The main one is time spent reading. You can set a daily goal (the minimum is 20 minutes), and if you reach it you get a nice checkmark on the calendar. The calendar doesn't update until the very end of each day, so if you've reached your goal for the day it won't show on the calendar until the next day.

Also, keep in mind time differences between where you live and Taiwan. I'm ~12 hours behind Taiwan, so the app doesn't start a new day until around noon for me.

Below the calendar, there's a chart that shows your total reading times for a week, month, or year. I normally can't be bothered to time my reading (especially not when I'm reading physical books) so this is cool to see. I think when it comes to reading in Chinese, being timed is more interesting because I'm able to more clearly gauge progress.

And below all that, there's a breakdown of the genres you read. I don't pay much attention to genre when choosing books, so I don't find this one quite as interesting.

(tfw you're reading a non-fiction book about a tutor so your main genre becomes 教育)

Overall Thoughts

So yeah, I've enjoyed myself so far. Aside from the reading interface, I find the app pretty easy to navigate. I spent a bit of time just clicking around and was able to figure out what's what pretty quick.

Like I said, this isn't a comprehensive review, but I'd recommend giving the app a try if you're willing/able to put down money for ebooks and are able to read traditional. It feels worth the money for me, since the interface is pretty customizable and easy to use.

If you're wondering where to find simplified ebooks, idk. This is my first real foray into Chinese ebooks, so I don't really know where to find them for simplified or traditional. I have heard that it is a little easier to pirate Chinese ebooks since their copyright laws are a little different than ours in the US?

[minigemdoodles]

They're finished! I spent so much time making them when I should've been doing other things but it was so worth it.

I listened a lot to the good omens audiobook while I worked on them and I didn't realise just how long it had been since I last read the book. It was a good experience

[zzzzzestforlife]

day 10 of 30 // take-out coffee, go! ☕

요즘 난 포드캐스트들은 좋아요. 언어들 공부, 쓰기, 와 친구들 대화. 다는 좋아요. 어제에 스트레스 풀기 포드캐스트를 들었어요. 여러분, 요즘 무슨 좋아요? (lately i like podcasts. studying languages, writing, and conversations with friends. i like it all. yesterday i listened to a stress-relieving podcast. everyone, what do you like these days?)

❤️ we're on a roll with the actual meditations it seems 👀 i think it's because i started doing them in the morning when i'm naturally sluggish because by the end of the day, i. cannot. sit. still.🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ TOO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED and idk, it feels like i need to physically process or something 🤷‍♀️

📝📝📝 i was going to focus on Japanese today, but i only made that decision last night because i was scared of Chinese for some reason 😂 so i made myself do Chinese lessons instead and it wasn't too bad! but for some reason i failed the unit exam the first time and had to retake it to pass 🙃 whatever, i know that i know it, i just have mad testing anxiety 😭

❤️ journalled outside but it was too cold to stay out too long so i had to come back inside many times or risk frostbite 🥶

🥰🥰 it's been a while since i've done a full-body workout (rowing is my preferred exercise for this), i really enjoyed it thanks to my workout music!! and if i do it fast enough, it also becomes cardio, hehe

📚 almost halfway through All Creatures Great and Small 🤠 my eyes feel better today so i was able to read for myself today instead of just listening to the audiobook!

language learning recommendations 🙊

loved this video from BuzzFeed Japan. it's an all-Japanese conversation between a foreign-born Japanese and Japan-born foreigner 🎌 i didn't understand everything but it was very interesting to listen to from a language learning perspective and a cultural learning perspective ☺️

also highly recommend this video that goes over the 140 Chinese characters that make up 50% of the language. was really surprised by how many of them i knew and even knew well! 😇 it's encouraging me to keep going and learn more!

i also love this Korean podcast channel! not only can i learn a bit and practice listening, but it's just very relaxing 🙈 my favorite thing is if there's any vocabulary you didn't understand the first time, she repeats the story with the vocabulary words translated in-sentence!

aaaand another Kimono Mom short because there is nothing better than learning to speak Japanese from a toddler who is also learning to speak Japanese 🐣

中文：最近我喜欢podcasts。学语，写，和朋友们说话。这些都喜欢啊。昨天我听缓解压力podcast。大家，最近你什么喜欢吗？

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a reading week

11pm, tuesday, feb 20, 2024

hello beloveds. just wrote two increasingly passionate paragraphs about what social media and my use of it over the years has done to benefit my life, and got so genuinely moved that i had to come talk to you about it.

reading really wild mix of reading material of late. surprisingly high amount of YA, because people keep recommending me things and i keep going 'sure, let's try it!' so i'll use that as an organizing principle and save discussing some of the others for a future post. in order of completion:

firekeeper's daughter, angeline boulley, read by isabella lablanc. finished in a rush, very engaged in the last three-four hours. i was never prepared for the next thing this plot threw at me, though in retrospect saw how it all made sense. i didn't know a thing about it going in, which i think actually enriched the experience a lot, but for a novel set in michigan's UP and sugar island, it resonated with a lot of things i associate with ontario after living here for five+ years. the hockey, the ojibwe /anishinaabe names and cultural connections, the murdered and missing indigenous women. but it also mixes in elements reminiscent of, like, braiding sweetgrass (and tangentially mexican gothic) and various fan fiction tropes i recognized in their shape if not their execution. highly recommend the audiobook-- they cast the audiobook's narrator very carefully, and she does a superb job juggling the mix of scientific jargon, teen narrator unreliable/dramatic narrator (loving), and Anishinaabemowin.

castle in the clouds, kerstin gier, translated by romy fursland. maybe 33% through. it's giving grand budapest hotel and somehow also the princess diaries? it's also reminding me somehow of, like, the kind of novel i wanted to write as a second or third grader, which means eva ibbotson, and a particular flavor of plucky, intelligent heroine. i was hooked by the first page+ but have yet to see a ton more of the same high action and suspense, and have let this one slip a little further onto the back burner. it's cute escapism at the moment, though that may change.

fourth wing, by rebecca yarros, read by rebecca soler (and apparently also teddy hamilton, although i haven't gotten to him yet?) about 25% through. trying desperately to give us a gritty, hardcore, new and dangerous and fun take on dragons and their human riders, while also trying to be idk divergent? the hunger games? there's a love triangle, the protagonist has naturally ombre hair, the premise of the novel is brutal training where young adults are all dying in improbable droves due to how cutthroat and brutal it is. a testament to the narrator that i am, despite myself, having a great time. there are a few too many supporting characters who want our main girl straight up dead for me to really find the threats believable, but i'm intrigued by the prospect of alternate versions of this world's history than what she has learned and a potential for discovering how their kingdom has? manipulated them? could be asking too much.

fairest, gail carson levine. finished in a long saturday morning spent reading in bed. i was such an intense and dedicated fan of the original ella enchanted novel that i couldn't read most of levine's other books (exceptions for her short stories made grudgingly) because they weren't sequels and weren't the same and wouldn't be as good. in fairness, reading this now as a much-older-than-the-intended audience, perhaps i was too harsh-- but i think little-me was right to be a little suspicious. it's a snow white retelling, and again i think largely successful in building a more detailed plot in which the elements of the retold fairy tale are embedded, but where the focus in ella was on language and obedience and free will, here we're trying to articulate things about beauty and body image, and it's harder to say that it really succeeds? i like that we gave the Wicked Queen more nuance, positive and negative qualities, moments of sympathy, a name and a precarious political position. i was not nearly as charmed by the romance (fine, fine, it's not ella and char but it couldn't be, it's fine). i still love the use of unfamiliar / fairy-tale languages and how levine puts them on the page in such fun spellings. probably aimed at the youngest audience, of the four titles here, but treats its reader as almost more intelligent than fourth wing, possibly? YA from ~twenty years ago was a different world.

listening graded like twenty quizzes today with just a mess of random panic at the disco bumping in my headphones. it's a hell of a feeling, etc. i'm halfway through this particular round of grading, and they're doing so well, so it's mainly a quick check to make sure they got the basics right and i can jam while doing so.

watching spent a very pleasant ~2 hours yesterday watching as much as we could of the film amadeus with @hematiterings, @pep-squad-lizzie, and @dimir-charmer. love a film that isn't afraid to lean into all its sensory indulgences, and to be a little heavy-handed with its symbolism (the chocolate is about repression!) and to, just generally, spend money on costumes, locations, hiring lots of extras, and so many wigs. there's a live event performance of this film with orchestra + choir being advertised all over our subway right now, so it does very much feel like we're being followed by this guy:

...but what's sticking in my head right now is the costumes.

playing 41+ hours into hollow knight. i have opened half of my stag stations! i have the dream nail, surprisingly early i think! i have saved bretta! i have somehow missed the mantis lords, i think, but have made it to the city, the resting grounds, and have now been throwing myself fruitlessly against the crystal guardian and a soul warrior in alternation. i am...not good at combat. current plan is to grind to get quick focus, and i'm close! also, @spoonierbard stepped in and gave me a much needed morale boost by winning me the final mask shard necessary to get increased lives, which has helped tremendously, and the grubs rewarded me with the grub song charm which has helped tremendously.

making many potential projects, none executed (or even really attempted). soon, hopefully. fallow section for now. does music count? music counts, right? i joined a second choir! enticed by the chance to perform mozart's requiem in full with an orchestra, and finally fulfill the broken promise of 2020. that's my hobby right now. oh i also just cleaned out a ton of storage in my phone + icloud, which felt generative in its own way. besides backing things up better than i have in a while.

working on submitted the travel money application i've been thinking and dithering about since...this time last year? no real expectation of getting it, but it did actually help me consider some next steps in the diss, so that's nice. now prepping to take my class on two fun on-campus field trips next week, one to the manuscript library and one to the medieval collection in our little hidden art museum! i need to write some notes up for the TAs and docents to use, and finish organizing my list of desired manuscripts, like, yesterday. midterm grades posted today, a little late but hopefully not too bad, still well before the drop date. the aforementioned quizzes (i have like 28 more to grade, but they're reasonably painless). plus i was going to work on my fucking dissertation this week, and prep to teach the next few lectures in advance so i'm not scrambling monday nights, plus send a bunch of emails, design a CFP poster, put in some RAship hours so i can speak intelligently in my meeting tomorrow, and....prep for the guest lecture i'm giving on the 28th! it's a reskin of the conference paper i gave this summer, freshly edited, but i need to expand the intro bits to include a useful overview, since these students aren't a conference of celticists.

weirdly at peace with how my work-life balance is balancing right now, though. it's the extra sleep and the increased sunshine, and the little cat who is being so so whiny right now. i must conclude these lines and feed Herself.

[djservo]

crashes in in a fashionably late kind of way.. january is finally over!! 31 days felt like 300 but now that we’re on the other side of it, what books did you read to start 2024? what was the vibe any standouts has it changed what’s on the horizon?

I've started keeping a physical calendar again so you'd think having the month splayed out in front of me so directly and constantly would be grounding but week after week I was just like Omg how is there More.... we made it thru tho god bless xx January was fun!!

in terms of my pre-planned monthly reading themes, January was a grace period where I let my whims guide me so I'm surprised at how many themes incidentally overlapped?? Naomi Klein referencing The Fire Next Time, the theme of internet doubles and online dark corners in Doppelganger essentially being the core of The Sluts, the dark spiraling mystery of The Sluts akin to the dark spiraling mystery of Mysterious Skin, yada yada yada. I luv when the dots inadvertently connect!! right place right time vibe!!

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

it's been really nice starting my reading off with Baldwin these past few years, something grounding about immersing myself in sharp indictments of the US amidst the usual new year wide-eyed blitheness. this one was only 2 essays but both gripped me just as much as his longer collections. I imagine it's hard to sort of reframe arguments, pleas, and points you've been talking about for years when things still haven't changed, but each new (to me) Baldwin essay reads so fresh in the way that he contextualizes these core points within different interactions + relationships. I think Ive said this before but it's also so rewarding to read an author's works chronologically because you can kind of follow how their frame of mind sharpens/adapts throughout the years and in a way you grow with them, and his first essay (a letter to his nephew) kinda feels like the culmination of that growth laid out with such care. super special

Doppelganger by Naomi Klein

totallyyyyyy consumed + dizzied by this wow I can't believe it took me this long to read Naomi Klein. I think I'd been intimidated by the size of her books + my incorrect assumption that something so research-heavy (bc boy does she research!) will read too dense, but everything here was laid out and tied together so smoothly + accessibly (I feel like I use that word a lot for nonfiction which is probably my subconscious quest to entice ppl to read more nonfiction hehe) This read like partial investigative deep dive into the online world of conspiracy theories/Qanon cesspools + partial mystery novel about her own experience with Naomi Wolf (her 'doppelganger')?? idk it feels weird to relate someone's lived experience to a spectacle like that but it really was like edge of seat level curiosity/uncertainty/etc. just so engrossing and thorough and THRILLING, the epilogue made me gasp!!!

Leslie F*cking Jones by Leslie Jones

my one + only spotify audiobook experience, cut short amid the last chapter bc I ran out of hours and no longer am a spotify premium user so I just read the rest </3 but that turned out to be fun bc I saw what a stark difference it was to listen vs. read this. the audio rules bc Leslie totally goes off script to add anecdotes (one of the reviews was like 'she was NOT reading what was written!!' LMAO so true.. and I love her for that!!) + an emotional depth I don't think could've been sufficiently captured in written form - her laughter and her palpable anger and her literally crying over... such a robust journey! I was an SNL fan basically my whole life til I went to college so I always love stories about it and I really admire how she didn't hold back in her criticisms. I feel like former members (especially those somewhat fresh off the slab in a way) feel like they have to be eternally grateful to their experience when so much of it is so clearly draining and thankless. doubled expectations because she's a woman, tripled because she's a Black woman, and therefore expected to just bend over and take it (her words) but she never does!! she never tries to compromise her own experiences like "this happened... but at least this happened too and they actually were nice in this way-" NO!! she compartmentalizes the good and the bad so distinctly so there's no misunderstanding, and I just really really admire that, the lack of kissing ass in an industry where that's practically what fuels your career/reputation!! she rocks + is such a funny storyteller+ I'm so glad I listened to this

The Sluts by Dennis Cooper

ofc had to squeeze my old man in... I think this was actually the book to first put Cooper on my radar so it was super fulfilling to finally get to it (even tho I devoured it in just 2 days.. a shame bc it was a slay to read this in public) Supremely up my alley with its 2000s internet mystique, the perfect backdrop for a twisted mystery + ruminations of Internet As Performance Art™, the internet as roleplay, what's real + what's just fantasy/fetish, etc etc. so so so good and while still sick and horrifying as his writing is known for, perhaps the most readable for an uninitiated reader of Cooper's works?? even then I'd say this is still for a very particular reader tho idk i can never get a pulse on what a majority of readers are into these days!! I really loved this though and I'm sure it'll be in my top 5 for the year thank u once again for the twisted ride denny !!!

My People Shall Live by Leila Khaled, George Hajjar

feels more like political ethnography than personal memoir. there is some of Leila's backstory and family and personal relationships sprinkled in (her husband is given maybe 5 lines total LOL), but so much of her being is clearly centered around Palestinian resistance + revolution, so recounting her political work within a collective was her truest form of autobiography as that was indeed her life/livelihood. wild to read how intense she was even from childhood, how Down she was to sacrifice things and put herself on the line... literally getting plastic surgery after hijacking a plane in order to be able to get involved in more demonstrations without being recognized like god!!! intense life-altering decisions and it's like she doesn't even bat an eye or show any regrets/wistful 'what if i hard a 'normal' life?'!! that eric andre margaret thatcher meme but instead "do you think leila khaled effectively utilized girl power by hijacking a plane?'' LOL I mean... ! 🤭

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

SILLY + ABSURD!!! a bit of a hike to get there but once I hit it, it was hard to put this down (as is my experience with a lot of classics, I find) I think I really enjoy magical realism rooted in political/cultural landscapes, or maybe I just really like wacky shit (it made me think a bit of Catch-22 which I also had fun with!!) + this didn't disappoint!! truly giggled aloud at some parts, the ridiculousness of it all!!! makes me wanna deep dive into the history of the Soviet Union but I feel like I'll need to clear at least an entire month for that .... will have to plan accordingly 👩‍🔬

Mysterious Skin by Scott Heim

heartbreaking and dark but handled with a lot of care. I guessed the "twist" (which feels indelicate to call it that but I cant think of another word rn) early on but I think that just heightened the slow unraveling of it + made it that much more emotionally grueling to get thru. perhaps that was even the point! I'd been meaning to watch the movie for like over a decade at this point but wanted to read it first so now having read and watched it I'm glad it was now vs. me at 10 or whenever bc dumb tween me likely wouldn't have processed it well enough and the darkness would've overshadowed the journey itself. sometimes it's important to wait I guess is what I'm trying to say!!!

I definitely want to squeeze in another Naomi Klein this year if possible, maybe some Russian/Ukrainian lit. I've focused on Baldwin's nonfiction these past years so I might pick up a fiction of his this month + ofc Cooper wherever I can squeeze him <3

[evenmorebeetles]

I come bearing Team 7 road trip headcanons

(very american road trip because that's what I'm familiar with)

Naruto calls shotgun, but that doesn't even last long enough for them to get on the highway before Kakashi sentences him to the back seat because he put his feet up on the dash and tried to steal the aux cord for his Super Awesome Road Trip Playlist

Sasuke tries to claim shotgun for himself afterwards but Kakashi declares that the front seat is now off limits.  Call it a bonding exercise

Whoever sits next to Naruto is inevitably going to smack him at some point and while Sakura hits harder than Sasuke, she's more patient than him, so she's in the middle with Sasuke behind Kakashi and Naruto behind the passenger seat so that he can kick the back of it without causing an accident or a murder

No one ever actually sees him take it off somehow but every 45 minutes someone has to yell at Naruto to put his seatbelt back on.

Naruto wants to play a road trip game, which Sakura thinks is a novel and fantastic idea.  She makes puppy eyes at Sasuke until he agrees to play.  It actually goes well until Sasuke starts cheating during I Spy by describing billboards that passed them in half a second.  Naruto and Sasuke bicker over whether this is actually cheating or not, and Sakura takes Naruto's side, much to Sasuke's indignation and Naruto's excited woops.  They get so loud that Kakashi threatens to start playing educational podcasts at max volume if they don't shut up

Sasuke puts his headphones in and you'd think he's listening to some punk alt emo rock album but nope he's got on a mixtape playlist Sakura and Naruto made him for his birthday

He leans his head on the window but the road is too bumpy for it to be comfortable.  Naruto notices and offers Sasuke his hoodie to put between his head and the glass, and Sasuke grumbles but ultimately accepts it if only so he can stop having a conversation that involves his friends being kind to him

Sakura tries to read but eventually gets too car sick and falls asleep with her head on Sasuke's shoulder

Naruto pulls out a handheld game and is careful to turn the volume all the way down so he doesn't wake Sakura up

Kakashi puts on a forest ambiance soundtrack instead of music, and Naruto is very confused.  He doesn't know that due to them being in the middle of nowhere, Kakashi can't get any service, leaving him only with the things he has pre-downloaded to his phone.  These are limited to forest ambiance and every Icha Icha novel on audiobook

Sakura does eventually wake up to go into a rest stop with Kakashi while Naruto and Sasuke wait in the car because they didn't feel like putting their shoes back on.  She comes back with each of their favorite snacks

Naruto has to use the bathroom 10 miles after leaving the rest stop

Everyone newly recharged with sugar, they agree on another road trip game where they have to find words starting with each sequential letter of the alphabet (chosen for its collaborative and therefore cheat proof nature)

They absolutely do the COWS thing whenever they pass a field

Sakura finally smacks Naruto upside the head when she catches him without his seatbelt on for the seventh time

Kakashi imposes a tax where he's owed a bit of snack every time someone asks if they're close or how much longer

Naruto and Sakura end up sharing a blanket (Sasuke isn't cold due to his recently acquired hoodie)

Naruto and Sasuke compete to see who can put more stickers on Sakura without her noticing.  When they get caught, Sasuke claims to have no knowledge of the game at all, and sure, Naruto never saw Sasuke put anything on Sakura, but he knows for a fact that not all those stickers were from him

Sai, who has been in the third row of seats the entire time unbeknownst to everyone else in the car, is very pleased with himself for winning

[the-fiction-will-knit-the-real]

Found a hole in the toe of one of my handknit socks today- pretty salty about it because I finished these socks less than six months ago, and they are literally my newest handknit socks. Madelinetosh Euro Sock yarn is failing me

Decided to spend the afternoon darning socks (the Madelinetosh pair plus another pair that I put aside last week - one of the first pairs I ever knit has developed holes after 3+ years). Been listening to Stephen King's The Shining on audiobook, since Peacock has been failing to let me watch figure skating

I absolutely love my little 14 prong Speedweve sock darning kit, I tried many other ways of fixing holes with the goal of blending in well with the knitting, but those always took too long to darn and didn't last as long. So I figured I'd go with "having few sock pairs waiting to be darned, but the darning doesn't blend in" over "darning blends in well, but never actually gets done because I hate the process of darning"

Honestly probably should have just thrown out the older pair of socks - first picture is the first sock sole fully darned (I had to weave 6 separate squares to cover all the holes and super-thin-and-worn-down sections), and second picture is the second sock (which I haven't darned quite yet, but shows a much less severe section of super worn-down yarn that isn't technically a hole yet, but will be at any moment if I don't reinforce it)

Also note how new the patched sections look compared to the 3+ year old worn sections - I'm honestly surprised I still even had the remaining yarn after knitting the socks years ago

Anyway, I'm less mad at the Madelinetosh socks now, as the toe holes are super small and easy fixes, and the rest of the sock sole is still in perfect shape. Here's me partially through the process of darning one of the holes on my Speedweve

[burningvelvet]

to cope with my post-binge blues from watching black sails, i just finished the treasure island audiobook. it's my first time with any treasure island media - now i have to watch the muppets movie. any way here are my thoughts:

- i knew the character of trelawney had to be based on the romantic era edward john trelawny of byron/shelley fame and I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sources: WONG, AMY R. “The Poetics of Talk in Robert Louis Stevenson’s ‘Treasure Island.’" A Sandison Robert Louis Stevenson and the Appearance of Modernism

- i know that black sails isn't fully intended to be a perfect prequel or meant to be taken as filling in all of the gaps to treasure island but i'm still going to compare & contrast the two lol

- billy spending his whole life obsessed with flint and having alcohol withdrawal induced hallucinations about him. OMG. and i'm shocked that they just casually dropped that he visited flint in georgia to get the map like did flint request to see him before he died, was it just about the map, or did he want closure about the whole thing, did billy seek flint out, why didn't they kill each other, how the fuck did that whole thing go? i need more information dammit

- saw another post on here talking about how in black sails flint has that speech about the drunk guy named flint asking his grandpa for rum before disappearing into the sea and then in treasure island we find out flints last words were asking a "darby mcgraw" for rum before he died SO IN THE BLACK SAILS UNIVERSE DARBY IS HIS GRANDPA and so im wondering DID FLINT 1.0 EVER EXIST AT ALL OR WAS IT SIMPLY FORESHADOWING ALL ALONG but at the same time it doesnt matter because the black sails creators said the ending is intentionally canonically up to interpretation and black sails canon and treasure island canon dont match up any way but still it gives us so much to think about bc we never canonically find out who the fuck darby is

- the doctor is the funniest character ever and him giving zero shits about billy or silver is hilarious LMAO

- rly enjoy the descriptions of the contents of billy's pockets and chest. i love old shit and that whole nautical aesthetic ugh. im currently wondering about the significance of the five sea shells billy had (jim wonders abt them too) if they were souvenirs from the island or what... but we never find out!!

- and what the fuck was up with those black spots I NEED ANSWERS! It worked on Billy but not Silver?

- having grown up on PotC i'm very enthused at the references (the song, the rum, "dead mens chest," etc)

- wish we saw more of jims mom, she was lowkey a badass for a moment there telling everyone off and willing to face the wrath of the pirates with her son lol

- love how the men just take jim on for his valour and then decide to make him a cabinboy and the mom just gets a replacement son to help her around the house lmaoooo i wonder if that was a common thing for single women to do though?

- long john silver has a sort of jekyll/hyde personality (btw the author stevenson also wrote jekyll/hyde for those of you who dont know!) - also why the fuck did they leave him to his own devices toward the end and not have a gun on him 24/7 like? i was also shocked that he didnt run off with all the gold only some of it. most chaotic character ever

- my biggest questions are why did black sails take out the alcoholism and the sea shanties? but importantly the alcholism - if they were going for gritty, as they were? flint and billy's alcoholism is integral to their characters (defines their characters actually) in the book as contrasted by silvers moderation & thats rly interesting. and the lack of singing is just boring - pirates rly did have sea shanties - however i can understand for time constraints per episode and whatnot them taking out the singing for practicality - but the alcoholism again is integral to those characters as well as being historically accurate and realistic & would have added a lot imo

EDIT: immediately after posting this i realized that since there are a few years between the treasure burial and flint's supposed death in georgia, he could have become a drunk in that time if we're creating a black sails to treasure island timeline, and billy wouldn't have become a drunk til later on since black sails is set roughly 20 yrs before treasure island.

HOWEVER - by the talks of it in treasure island, and all the pirates referring to flint as a drunk etc., it would still seem that flint was always that way when they knew him, prone to drinking... but at the same time i guess you could say all the characters are jollier than in black sails as indicated by their singing and their more stereotypical piratey ways.

however i still think the alcoholism & addiction theme would have added an extra layer to everything especially after flints sad drunk scene with eleanor. also in toby stephens deep fathoms interview he said flint is essentially like an addict when it comes to his delusion & desires. anyway i digress

transcript here, audio is on youtube: https://www.justsaypodcast.com/blog/2018/12/18/transcript-interview-with-toby-stephens-of-black-sails

[grapenehifics]

Trick or treat! I have a costume on but you can't see it because I've got a giant snowsuit over top in true Canadian Halloween fashion

Ah, in that case I will offer you a steaming mug of hot chocolate or apple cider, your choice, I have both, and also this plot bunny I've had running around my brain for the past couple of days:

Anakin moved to (city housing large university) to attend (said large university) but after a semester or two discovered that formal schooling wasn't doing it for him and he was both making good money with and getting more enjoyment out of his side hustle, custom carpentry, than from his classes and quit, but he still lives in (city). He's had insomnia his whole life and some nights just gives up on sleep and goes out to his backyard/garage converted workshop. There's an old transistor radio out there - maybe it got left behind by the last owners - and he turns it on just to have some background noise while he works.

He's scrolling the dial past all the commercials for personal injury lawyers and lands on some real banger of a song, which he's never heard before but he's into it so he pauses the lathe or whatever he has running and waits to listen for the station to tell him the name of the song so he can look it up later, but after the song ends it pivots straight to some spoken-word poetry thing, and now Anakin's intrigued because, what the hell is this station?

Finally the dj comes on and says okay, folks, that's the end of the show, I'm Ben Kenobi and this has been Guiding Light, thanks for staying up with me. Anakin looks at the dial and realizes he's been listening to the local university student station.

This keeps happening, and Anakin kind of becomes obsessed with Ben Kenobi and Guiding Light. He's only on two or three nights a week, for only a couple of hours at a time, in the middle of the night, and he seems to have no oversight at all because he plays the weirdest mix of stuff - classical, film scores, comedy albums, half of an audiobook, one night he played a Robert Johnson song and then for the next hour nothing but cover versions of that song, the show before Halloween he played the entirety of Orson Welles' War of the Worlds and then one of those 'spooky sounds' albums while reading Edgar Allen Poe short stories on top of it - one time he even said he'd been really caught up in this book he'd been reading and he didn't want to stop long enough to do the show so he was going to give a synopsis of what had happened so far and then read the next chapter out loud on the air. Anakin has no idea what to expect but he knows that he feels less lonely, when Ben is there, and somehow even though Ben has no idea he exists it feels like they're the only two people in the world, out in Anakin's workshop in the middle of the night.

Anakin Googles him, because he's kind of worried that if he's on the university radio station then maybe that means he's some university kid and Anakin has a crush on a nineteen-year-old (even though he doesn't sound anything like a college student), and all he finds is the radio station website, which has a huge page for all their other shows but Guiding Light gets exactly one sentence: "Ben Kenobi has been hosting Guiding Light since 2004". So, probably not a kid, then, but he's got no social whatsoever, no pictures or online presence at all, and Anakin considers driving down to the station but dismisses that as too creepy so he just resigns himself to listening to Ben when he can.

And then one night Ben gets on the air and says, 'I've got nothing planned for tonight and I feel like chatting. Here's the number of the station. Anyone want to talk?'

Anakin swallows, picks up his phone, and dials the number.

[librarycards]

what sorts of things do you think can help people deal with their mental illness besides therapy/meds? i’m not saying i disagree with anti-psychiatry, and i have had bad experiences with psychiatrists/therapists for multiple reasons, but what kinds of things actually help? i’m on wait lists for free therapy and multiple of them have long way lists and hotlines don’t help me, i feel at a loss. and i kind of feel like being being this mentally ill would be a burden upon any friend/partner i could potentially have. i honestly don’t know what to do bc i haven’t improved in years

first, a clarification: i'm not anti-med, i am only anti-forced treatment. i think you'll find many, though not all, anti-psych (and adjacent) ppl with this view, which is often shoehorned in with broad anti-med shit both because of the dubious history of some antipsych figures and because of strawmanning by pro psych forces. but i digress.

there is no simple solution for crisis/ongoing suffering, especially because the actual biggest help to all of us would be the abolition of white supremacy / ableism / carceral neoliberal capitalism / settler colonialism / cisheteropatriarchy. absent this, we're left trying to fill in the gaps, collectively, as best we can, while always acknowledging that we are putting interpersonal band-aids on systemic harms.

with all that being said, i think the best place to start would be to take stock of what and who you have as resources: are there any friends you feel comfortable sitting beside or watching a movie with, even if you don't feel ready or comfortable sharing "deeper" stuff with them? do you have internet people, or a place where you can shout into the void (like tumblr)? is there a public space you can go to, like a park, where you can at least get out of the house for a little while and be alone among others?

i personally take medication, though i'm tapering one of the last ones i'm on, and chose to discontinue the myriad pills i was prescribed as an involuntary psych inpatient. this isn't because meds are inherently evil, but only because i didn't like who i was when i was on them, nor could i tolerate the conditions under which they were forced on me. absent these meds, i have found other ways to move through my own brainstuff: occasionally weed (e.g. right now), more often forcing myself to sit next to other people who i know will make sure i don't do anything shitty to myself (even if we're not in active conversation). i have a bunch of youtube videos, books, audiobooks, podcasts, etc. on deck.

i have throughout the last few years cultivated an online and in-person community in which i'm not "burdening" / "dumping" my shit onto one or even a couple individuals all the time. you're right that the full extent of what we experience is definitely too much for one other interlocutor to take - we're designed to live in community, not in isolated couples. it's also true that, while occasionally and contingently helpful, a professional counselor or therapist can be inaccessible, abusive/violent, etc. etc.

while you're waiting to experiment with the free therapy you mentioned, it might be a good idea to reach out to people you do trust to have a frank, meta-conversation about your respective relational needs. this can feel weird at first, but i autistically love it, and it's also common in a lot of kink/bdsm communities (of which there's plenty of ND overlap haha). rules can be freeing. you don't have to worry about violating unspoken boundaries when you've spoken them, and established nonjudgemental ways of enforcing them and holding each other accountable when you haven't. in the past, i've established these both verbally and in google docs, etc. i've also established it - and found it especially helpful - in situations where myself and the other person(s) experience different axes of privilege and marginalization. but regardless, it's a great way of self-designing the boundaries that in many cases we expect therapy to do for us - except, without the carceral impulse endemic to the psych practice.

i also think it's okay to acknowledge that you might be a burden sometimes, and that the people who love you will carry you. they know you'll do the same for them. part of being in relation to others is sometimes receiving more than we give - it's part of being alive, being vulnerable. let yourself be cared for, let yourself be heavy. think about how good it feels to fall into bed at the end of the day. rest is the first step to feeling a little better.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Copyright should not be our first line of defense against identity theft

This is the LAST WEEKEND to back the Kickstarter campaign for the audiobook of my next novel, The Lost Cause. These kickstarters are how I pay my bills, which lets me publish my free essays nearly every day. If you enjoy my work, please consider backing!

The failure to adjust copyright's test-for-applicability for the internet age has turned copyright into the all-purpose rule for everything we do on the internet, which is everything.

In the early 2000s, I got an email from a stranger saying, "Hey, I showed up for our date last night, but you weren't there. Everything okay?" I replied that I didn't know what they were talking about and they sent me a link to a dating site where someone had stolen my identity and set up a profile with my name, details and picture.

So I figured out the phone number for the dating site and called them and explained what was going on. Sorry, they said, we don't have any way to figure out who's impersonating whom. If you want to get this profile removed, you should send a copyright complaint to our DMCA address, claiming that the photo is an infringing copy. That's the only way to force us to remove a profile.

Reasonable people can disagree about how long copyrights should last and what constitutes fair use - but I don't think there's anyone in the supply chain of the arts who thinks that copyright should be our first line of defense against identity theft.

-The Internet's Original Sin

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[chenfordspiral]

What's your favourite chenford scene?

Oh, dear lord. Do you have any idea the chaos you have caused in my head with this question, dear anon? There is no easy answer to this. And I've been thinking about it since last night..

Short answer: I don't know. Can I say all of them?

Long answer: that would be an essay. See below.

There's of course the infamous first scene when they first look at each other in the Pilot. That's just serious soulmate stuff right there from the start. How they expected us not to ship them is beyond me.

Don't even get me started on 1x20 and the way Tim shut the door to keep Lucy safe, and how she never even thought about leaving. And then of course how they sit at the door, back to back, and talk. Soulmate stuff right there, again.

So many more moments in between the two mentioned above.

Take the needle incident in 1x11 and how Tim kept Lucy from spiraling. Or the way Tim made sure she wouldn't wash out in 1x14. 1x19 and how he was so determined to get her over the finish line so she could take the 6-month exam.

And so many in seasons 2 and 3 that make their story unique.

Lucy giving Tim the audiobook she recorded in 2x02. Lucy having Tim's back in 2x08 and the way he thanks her for it at the end. All of DOD?! Then Tim wanting to make sure Lucy is okay all the time in 2x12, and then the whole scene in the gym. Lucy supporting him and being excited about him having a good score on the sergeant's exam, but then Tim not taking it because of her.

Tim taking Kojo?! Dude, your love is showing. Lucy reassuring Tim that her kidnapping was not his fault, and that his opinion matters to her in 2x17. The look on his face, omg.

So many more moments in season 3, I won't be listing them all but one of my favorites will always be most of 3x08, the last scene in 3x09, and the once over he gives her and then asks her to save him a dance in 3x14. I die a little every time.

Moving on to season 4...

We got the infamous hug in 4x01. The scene in the van in 4x07? Good lord. Then of course the hug in 4x09. Ugh. He so needed to hear those words and that hug, and it needed to come from Lucy. I will never be okay watching how he just completely falls into her and deflates.

Honestly, most of the double date episode? And the dance! Oh, my heart. I cannot and will never be able to move on from the way they looked at each other. There's so much adoration written over both of their faces... how they didn't realize they were in love with each other until much later is still beyond me.

And then of course 4x22. I know the whole doppelgänger thing is a little over the top, but I love it? Probably because it's so absurd. The infamous first kiss scene will always have a special place in my heart. It's what made me start watching the show a year ago. All it took was seeing that 3-minute clip and I was hooked. Happy (late) anniversary to me!

As for season 5...

I'm gonna say all of 5x01, because I cannot choose just one scene from that episode. If I had to, it would be between Tim taking Lucy's hand to comfort her and finding a way to give her a moment in private, and the kiss. Lucy's worrying in 5x05 and how she immediately raced to his bedside and stayed with him. And Tim worrying about her? Married vibes, for real.

The pining and the looks in the parking lot in 5x06? Still not over it. Basically all of 5x08, I don't care what others think. The two scenes in Grey's office in 5x09... swoon. And before I rattle off almost every scene since then, I will limit myself to a few.

Them getting ready in 5x10. Their second first date at the end. And the perfect first real kiss. I wanna cry every time I see it. All of 5x12, for obvious reasons, but especially that last scene. Tim giving Lucy the necklace in 5x16 - and her never taking it off since then! That perfect little domestic scene at the beginning of 5x20. All their hugs this season, especially the one in 5x22.

I could go on. It's bad. So lemme try and wrap this up by choosing one for pre-canon, and one for canon.

For pre-canon, I think DOD will always be special to me. Tim's desperation, the way Lucy just completely breaks down after she realizes she's still alive, the way he immediately tries to shield her from the pain and she just curls into him and sobs. Everything. And the dance in 4x18.

For canon, I wanna go with the ending scene of 5x08. But oh. Is that even canon? Probably not. Okay, so that's another for pre-canon, I guess.

I will never apologize for loving the crap out of that scene. I know opinions are split here, and I absolutely get that! But to me, it was perfect. From Tim calling her out, Lucy blurting out what she's afraid of, Tim's reaction to it, telling her it's worth it, the look on his face before he asks her, to Lucy saying yes and them looking at each other at the end.

I am so fucking in love with that scene, and I will defend it until my dying breath. @escapismqueen can confirm. She's heard me talk about it enough.

For canon, I'd have to say the second first date at the end of 5x10. There's just something special about the whole scene and the way we can feel how comfortable they are now as opposed to the date at the fancy restaurant.

And then maybe add the ending scene of 5x12. And- nope. Cutting myself off here. Otherwise I will actually add every scene since they became canon.

Phew. Well, this took a little more time than expected. Well, no. That's a lie. I expected this to take long, and for the post to be essay-length. I just got interrupted halfway through and it took longer to finish.

Lemme know if you want a less elaborate and more detailed explanation of just a few scenes - this feels a little all over the place. But I just have a very hard time deciding on just a couple. If that wasn't obvious already.

Anyway. Thanks for the question! I definitely did not spent the last almost 24 hours wrecking my brain about this... nope, not at all. Hope this is fun to read. Little trip down memory lane.

Hope you have a great rest of the weekend! 😊

[k-ate1288]

~Drogon sketch

It took me a long time to draw it. For the most part, I was waiting for a detailed description of the dragons from the book, but I found nothing except the color. Therefore, relying on the series. My style of drawing also affected me, but in the end, thanks to the spikes, it seems to be similar😬

I would like to describe a little the emotions after reading and watching "A Song of Ice and Fire" / "Game of Thrones".

I was reading and watching the series at the same time, because I wanted to compare the plot. And I liked the fact that I know a lot of moments that were not shown in the series and at the same time I did not like that some moments were not shown. Therefore, there were two attitudes towards the series, but after the book ended, but the plot of the series developed further, I completely fell in love.

I used to be skeptical about "Game of Thrones", and I didn't even think about the book, but after getting acquainted with this universe, I want to study everything thoroughly and find out. Therefore, I did not stop only at the Song of Ice and Fire cycle, but continued reading others. So far, it's "Fire and Blood." It's hard for me to read it, but my interest takes over. I am also looking forward to the rest of the books that are still being written and in development.

I want to add a little more about the last episodes of the series. My first post about mentioning game of thrones was a tournament horse in Lannister colors, where I wrote that I did not support them. At that time, yes, but when I reached the final, I was amazed by the Lannister brothers' changes and Cersei courage. I don't think that "I felt sorry for them" will fit here, for the most part I'm sad that the characters who went through such serious trials died, including Deni (and besides Tyrion, he's alive, but it's hard for me to imagine how he went through all this emotionally). At the time of reading the last part of the book, I was thinking about a happy ending for Daenerys and mercy towards Cersei, but this turn of events in the series is probably correct but sad. I saw the spoilers that Daenerys was going to die, and as soon as everything came to this, I assumed that either Aria or Tyrion would do it, but I didn't expect John to do it. It was a shock to me.

I immersed myself in this world with all my soul and now I'm a fan of it. I already have a lot of ideas for drawings. Unfortunately, I'm limited to dragons and horses, but I think I have to try to portray wolves😵‍💫

It is difficult to convey emotions in writing, but I really wanted to do it.

This acquaintance happened by chance, as I was listening to an audiobook at work. I lost the sequence of chapters in all the books except "A Song of Ice and Fire", so out of desperation I started listening to it and was surprised that I liked it so much. And from that moment on, I was rushing to work just to continue listening to the book 👉👈

[danadaria]

Tedependent fic ideas

Fuck it.

Here are part of my Ted Lasso fic ideas. Some are wips, some are just the summaries.

There's a big chance I'll complete none, or one or two at most, but maybe sharing it with the world would inspire me (or you!) to write more.

P.S 1: All of them were written pre-S3

P.S 2: Feel free to comment :)

1 __________________________________________________

"That would be your dream, isn't it? Food that makes you learn something." 

Or Ted goes to grab food with Trent, and he asks questions, and questions, and questions: About Shakespeare; the West End; the UE, Brexit, and the lettuce; the Queen and Queen, the best museums, and british series he watched with Beard in the 00s. 

And Trent is happy to provide. He was like a whole internet but with better hair, a handsome face, and a silky voice. 

Oh.

Oh.

2 __________________________________________________

"So Ted, what is in your lockdown plan? Are you going to share housing with Beard?" "I wish! But no." "What do you mean with no?!" "Well, I offered to be roomies, but he's going to lock down with Jane. He has my key in case of emergency, but he's extremely responsible and anal with health relating things, so I doubt he'll go to my house. It's too big the risk." "I see. So are you… are you going to be by yourself?" "That's the plan, cayman. Well, seeing the bright side I have most of the streaming services." Ted started to fill his backpack with the last things from his office that he may need. "Do you think I'll need these book-" "Ted" "Yes?" "Go home with me." "What?!" "I mean-! … Ted, I have a spare room, a two-floor house, and a little yard. I know it's not much, but I think it would be good for you, I mean… I won't mind the company, even less the conversation. I can offer a roof, food, books and mostly reruns of every single Disney movie ever released. What do you think?

(Or the season 3 2020 AU where I decided to get some of my favorite characters to share part of the trauma that was the 2020 lockdown, but it's wrapped in a rom-com. Because I need it.)

3 __________________________________________________

The thing is, Ted loves to know people. It is like reading a book, well, technically, listening to the audiobook version of the person in question.

And yeah, he tries really hard to actually listen, because he, better than anyone, knows how vital it is to be heard. And well, he's a curious person too. He loves when people start to brighten with a good question. It's like pushing the right switch. So he asks questions to all people. Most of them gave him the stink eye, and ignore him, but Trent Crimm enjoys questions too. Even if he has to answer them.

4 __________________________________________________

When Trent Crimm, newly Independent, started doing some freelancing at Richmond, Ted really hoped none of the guys held anything against him. What he never expected, it was Trent becoming rapid friends with Roy Kent, of all people. It didn't bother Ted. It didn't bother Ted at all.

5 __________________________________________________

"Beard said something about Trent Crimm?" asked Nathan with interest. "Well, I accidentally heard a conversation between Lara and Sara, talking about how Trent has a crush on me." "Really? They said your name?" "Well, no. But they said somethin' about him having a crush on an American coach, who gave long philosophical answers and with who he had a one-on-one interview."

Or Ted hears a rumor, he shouldn't listen to the rumor, but he can't help wishing the rumor was true.

__________________________________________________