#this book is an absolute anomaly

[why-lamp]

well, here's the update to this post:

i finished it at 3am and cried a whole bunch. and not just about the story (which was very good, very tragic, and also very gay) but also the history behind the book and how it shouldn't even exist. i'll be posting a full analysis soon, Though it may take longer than I'd like (I'll be starting my first year as a teacher on Thursday). for now, i'll leave yall with these excerpts.

[paragonrobits]

i was just thinking about how in later Discworld books, even as its an unspoken understanding among everyone in Ankh-Morpork that Carrot is the King of the city and he's probably the last descendant of the original ruling line, not only does Carrot avoid pushing the narrative to exploit it unless absolutely necessary, but it never de-emphasizes the fact that he's a dwarf by adoption

Even in later books Carrot is still regularly writing letters to his family in their mine; he thinks of himself as a dwarf, he is CONSIDERED to be a dwarf by all except the most hardliners of dwarf society (and even they can't outright deny him dwarf status, the best they can do is say he is an anomaly); he might USE his narrative status as the One True King, but in his heart, to himself, he is still the child of the Ironfounderssons.

His human heritage is functionally irrelevant to him unless he needs to make use of it, much like his ancestral sword. And it occured to me, what if he actively chose to distance himself from his human heritage because he learned about them in later books and found nothing worth acknowledging?

Carrot is in a weird place because he is the One True King, a narrative status that makes him the good and wise king who knows only truth and justice and comes bringing goodness to all, and this is quite a contrast to the ACTUAL kings of Ankh-Morpork, who were universally at BEST a bunch of horribly useless and inept absolute rulers that are living embodiments of 'the aristocracy are dumber than a sack of doorknobs' the series leans into, and at worst are implcitly some of the most horribly sadistic and cruel people in the setting.

One particular example is Lorenzo the Kind, the last king of Ankh-Morpork, whose name was deliberately ironic; he was so horrifically sadistic that he spelled the end of the kingship because he's the one who was killed by Suffer-Not-Injustice Vimes, who because no one was willing to judge him because kings were considered Special, just dragged him off his throne, cut off his head, and the surviving family members were exiled from the city.

Lorenzo is the last member of Carrot's biological ancestry we have definitive information on, off the top of my head, and he paints a dark, horrific image. He's painted as the absolute nadir of horror from the ruling classes, and is heavily implied to have been a sadistic pedophile with a penchant for torture (at the very least Carrot and Vimes both note that he was apparently fond of children and was painted with a lot of them nearby at all times, discussing it in a way that suggests a DEEPLY uncomfortable topic neither of them wants them to address, and later in Feet Of Clay Vimes points out that Lorenzo had unspecified but horrific machines in the basement).

Carrot is very strongly implied to, at least starting from Men At Arms (in which he discovers he is the king), have investigated his ancestry, and he's able to elaborate on their actions and history, and this also marks the point where he carefully but firmly emphasizes his dwarf heritage for the rest of the series.

He found out who his ancestors were, and discovered they were horrifically evil people, and that Mister Vimes was fully justified in being proud of his ancestor putting them down like rabid beasts, and it leads to him firmly emphasizing that his family are the Ironfoundersson dwarfs.

[vigilante-3073]

Blue Or Pink?

James Wilson x Female Reader

Summary: House makes some observations about Doctor Y/N L/N. He is absolutely certain that she is pregnant with Wilson's child, but something seems amiss.

TW: Pregnancy, mentions of weight gain/breast size/nausea and vomiting/miscarriage, medical diagnosis.

House stood outside the Pediatric unit, watching Doctor L/N-Wilson through the window as she spoke with the parents of a patient. She had been married to Wilson for almost two years and things had been stable.

Normal.

Predictable.

But House began to notice small changes in Doctor L/N-Wilson. At first they seemed insignificant, but then the little nothings turned into big somethings.

First it was the tiredness, she'd whine about being exhausted before resting her head on Wilson's shoulder in the cafeteria. It was nothing special, just an overworked Pediatrician who gave everything to her patients.

Secondly, House noticed a change in how she responded to smells. She refused to kiss Wilson after he drank his morning coffee, the smell making her stomach churn. It could have been an anomaly, but then he changed his cologne. Wilson liked his cologne and had used the same one for as long as House had known him. A new cologne could have been gifted to him, but Wilson wouldn't have used a different scent without some other motivation. It seemed obvious to House that L/N's smell-associated nausea had caused the switch.

Thirdly, it was how emotional she had become. L/N had always been an emotional lightweight with a heart of gold, but House could see a difference in her. She didn't seek out comfort from Wilson on a routine basis, only when she had lost someone or experienced an emotionally taxing case. Then he noticed her coming and going from his best friend's office with red, watery eyes at least once a week. Her heightened emotional state could be due to the loss of some boring little rugrat who drew her a picture of a butterfly once, but it seemed more intense than that.

Fourth thing he noticed was the vomiting, she was very discreet about sneaking away to upchuk in the hospital bathroom, but not discreet enough to escape his watchful eye. She was constantly chewing mint gum or sucking on breath mints while carrying a toothbrush in the pocket of her lab coat.

Fifth thing was an increase in cup size and a sudden progressive weight gain. It wasn't anything excessive, but it was enough to have her clothing fit more snugly before she gave up and bought new clothes.

Sixth was the appointment. Wilson and L/N snuck away to an "early lunch" after talking to Cuddy. They were both Department heads and didn't need to speak to the Dean of Medicine before stepping out for an hour.

The anomalies were piling up into a rather perfect list of symptoms.

Chase made his way over to House, frowning as he stared through the glass, "What are you looking at?" Chase asked.

"Doctor L/N-Wilson," House stated.

His eyes followed her as she separated from the parents, walking over to the nursing station.

"Why?" Chase asked uncertainly.

"She has a parasite," House said, Chase's head snapped in his boss' direction.

"What? How do you know?" Chase questioned, turning to look at her again.

"I just know. It would take too long to explain," House said, turning and walking off.

...

Wilson and L/N sat on the couch in their apartment, her back was leaned against his side and her legs were stretched out across the couch cushions. Wilson's arm was wrapped around her as he flipped through the channels on the television. L/N stared down at her book, turning the page before closing her eyes and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"You alright?" He asked, looking down at her.

"Tired," She sighed.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Wilson questioned.

"No, I'll be okay. I like spending time with you," L/N said, eyes fluttering open.

Wilson smiled, pressing a kiss to her head as she returned to her book. He turned his head towards the television before someone knocked at the door.

L/N sat up, setting her book down on the cushion beside her.

"I'll get it," Wilson said, setting the remote down and making his way over to the door.

He opened the door, sighing when he saw House standing on his doorstep.

"Your wife has a parasite," House stated.

"Thank you so much for letting us know. We'll have her admitted for treatment in the morning," Wilson said sarcastically, "Goodnight, House," Wilson stated, moving to close the door.

House stuck his foot in the doorway, blocking the door from closing before pushing his way into their apartment.

"House, what are you doing here?" L/N asked.

"You have a parasite, Doctor L/N-Wilson," He said.

"No, I don't. Go home, House," She said, standing up from the couch and moving to step past him.

"It has arms and legs. It looks adorable in a onesie. Chromosomes of XX or XY with eyes like mommy and glorious hair like daddy. Lucky bugger will even get two Christmases when you two separate," House said.

"We're not separating," Wilson snapped.

"That's besides the point," House said, returning his attention to L/N, "Oh, and I stumbled across this," House said, holding up a document displaying a positive pregnancy blood test result.

"How did you-" She started, snatching the paper from his hand, "Did you break into my office? And my desk?" L/N questioned incredulously.

"I should be saying mazel tov. Congratulations on the little rugrat," House said.

L/N smacked him in the arm, "You're an ass," She snapped, folding up the paper.

"I thought you'd be screaming it from the rooftops," House said.

"Forgive me for being cautious," She huffed, sitting back down on the couch.

"You're almost four months along. Way past the danger zone for early miscarriage," House stated, eyes flickering over her.

House looked up at Wilson, he shook his head, silently pleading with his friend not to continue.

"You've lost a pregnancy before," House said.

"House-" "Three," L/N replied, looking up at him.

"House, get out," Wilson said.

"He was going to find out at some point, James. I'm surprised he didn't steal my medical records already," L/N said.

"Another hospital, too much work," House shrugged.

"Can you grab a copy of the sonogram?" She asked, Wilson nodded, making his way down the hallway before returning with a photograph.

He held it out to House, he took the photo and stared down at it, "The fetus has your nose," House said, "Mind if I keep this?" He asked.

"Sure," L/N nodded, leaning back against the couch.

"Why do you- You know what? Nevermind," Wilson sighed, sitting down beside L/N and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"I'll see myself out. Congratulations on the kid," House said, making his way over to the door and out of their apartment.

...

House sat at his desk, staring down at the sonogram as his team discussed their most recent case. House tilted his head, thumb brushing over a darkened area on the scan.

"House?" Cameron questioned loudly.

He looked up to find Chase, Cameron and Foreman staring at him expectantly. House turned the sonogram photo and held it up for the team to see, "New case. Tell me what's wrong with this picture," He said.

Cameron huffed, "We need to solve our first case before moving on to something else. We should do a transesophageal echo to rule out a blood clot and to-" "Sure, but first, tell me what's wrong with this picture," House repeated.

Chase squinted, leaning in closer to view the sonogram, "Looks fine to me. Roughly four months along, I'd say," Chase shrugged, straightening back up.

"Wrong, thanks for playing. You two," House said, looking up at Foreman and Cameron.

Cameron shook her head before letting out a defeated sigh, she leaned in and scanned the sonogram silently.

"The fetus is undersized for gestational age. Can we go now?" Foreman asked.

"Nope. Try again," House said.

"There's a mass," Cameron said softly, taking the sonogram from House's hand.

"Yeah, it's called a baby," Chase muttered.

"No, there's a membrane around it," She said, stepping over to the x-ray view box and holding it up to the light.

House stood from his chair, staring at the sonogram over her shoulder. He took the photograph from her hand, "Do the echo," House said, grabbing his cane and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Cameron asked.

"To locate a pregnant woman," House stated.

...

L/N made her way across the lobby towards the clinic, "Y/N," Wilson called. She turned to face him, "Did House page you?" Wilson asked.

"Yeah, did he page you too?" L/N questioned.

"This can't be anything good," Wilson muttered, hand resting on the small of her back as they entered the clinic.

They made their way over to the exam room House had paged them to.

L/N knocked before opening the door, she and her husband stepped into the exam room, "What do you need, House?" L/N asked.

"You. Hop up on the table," House instructed, pulling over the portable ultrasound machine.

"House, she already has an obstetrician," Wilson said.

"Well, your obstetrician is an idiot," House said, turning on the ultrasound machine.

"I'm going back to work," L/N sighed, stepping over to the door.

"I saw something in your sonogram," House stated.

L/N hesitated, "What was it?" She asked.

"I have an idea, but I need to get a look at the thing," House said, gesturing to the exam table.

L/N looked over at Wilson before reluctantly getting up on the table and laying back. Wilson moved over to her side as she pulled up her blouse.

House squeezed some gel onto her belly before moving the wand across her skin. The soft thump of their baby's heartbeat filled the room as House stared up at the screen.

"Your baby has a roommate... Sneaky little sucker that leaves its dishes in the sink and trashes the place so they lose the security deposit," House said, typing on the keyboard.

"What is it?" Wilson asked, holding onto her hand tightly.

House turned the screen towards them, "A cyst," He said.

"It's solid," Wilson said softly, stomach dropping as he saw the possibly cancerous mass growing in his wife's belly. The oncologist within him already formulating treatment plans and survival rates.

"Sometimes. This week it's solid, two weeks ago it was liquid," House said, holding up the previous sonogram.

"I have cancer?" L/N mumbled shakily, eyes glossing over with tears as she looked up at Wilson.

"Nope, think hairy with a nasty bite," House said.

"A dermoid cyst?" L/N questioned.

"Bingo," House said, "Your baby is small for gestational age, but your fundal height is bang on. Someone else is taking up space," House said.

"Your miscarriages hid the symptoms and the cyst is likely to create more problems as it continues to grow. I scheduled you for a laproscopic removal tomorrow evening and notified your idiotic OB," House continued, putting down the ultrasound wand.

He held up a tissue, allowing L/N to wipe the gel from her stomach. She pulled down her blouse and sat up on the exam table.

"I still want to test your blood for cancer markers, but the chances of a dermoid cyst being cancerous are slim to none," House said, standing from his stool and gathering supplies.

"Your hubby can do all the testing," House said.

He tied the tourniquet around her arm and drew a few vials of blood to test. Wilson stood close to her side, his hand resting against her back reassuringly as they processed the information.

"Did the cyst cause my miscarriages?" She asked softly.

House shrugged, "Probably... The ugly thing is taking up all the beachfront property and keeping it from possible long-term residents. Bad for business, especially if business involves pregnancy," House said.

L/N huffed a laugh, leaning into Wilson's chest as a tear rolled down her cheek. Wilson pressed a kiss to the top of her head, wrapping his arm around her waist securely.

"The baby is going to be okay," Wilson assured, L/N nodded.

"I'll leave you two to do whatever married people do," House said, grabbing the vials of blood and his cane.

"House, wait," L/N said, pulling away from Wilson. She hopped off the table and stepped over to House.

He stiffened as she hugged him before slowly wrapping his arms around her, "Thank you," She said softly.

"You're welcome," House replied.

[yourdoorisunlocked]

The Altruist Family Children - Headcanons

𝐀/𝐍: Some headcanons about Alastor x Reader's children in my AU <33

🎙️ Rowan and Louise are darling twins of the Altruist Family, your own little bundles of joy that grew up to wreak havoc across the neighborhood. Absolute sweethearts.

🎙️ They both look strikingly similar to their father, with deep gray skin, cherry red hair and gleaming yellow teeth, sharpened to the point, but their hair ends in tangles and curls, much like Alastor's when he was alive.

🎙️ Lousie is Alastor's little princess, of course, and he just adores doting on the little girl. Purchasing her whatever her little heart desires, whether it be trinkets and toys, her favorite desserts, frilly dresses and laced skirts – he'd spoil her absolutely rotten.

🎙️ Rowan, on the other hand, was quite the anomaly, at first. Raising a boy – as a father – were uncharted waters that Alastor wasn’t all too keen to tread, at first.

🎙️ Truly, Alastor was just little bit nervous apprehensive when he learnt that you would be having a boy, since his own experience with his father was rather... unsavory, to say the least. But when you sat him down, giving him all the faith and reassurance a man could ever need, well... how could he say no to his darling wife? 

🎙️ And so, Alastor resolves to raise Rowan as his dear mother, bless her heart, raised him to be – a gentleman. The first time Rowan opened the front door for you was the only time Alastor allowed a camera inside the house, or anywhere near his children.

🎙️ When your sweet little boy finally came of age – at a ripe eight years old – your husband took him out hunting. As much as you wanted to suggest that he wait a few more years, the giddy excitement Alastor exuded while polishing his favorite rifle, preparing for a full weekend of spending time with his son, was just too endearing for you to say no to him. 

🎙️ So, every weekend, Rowan and his father would disappear for a few hours, only to return at near twilight lugging some sort of Hellbeast behind them, and their prey only grew in size each year. And by the time Rowan turned thirteen, it wasn’t just wild game that he and Alastor were hunting. 

🎙️ You cut their hair. No questions asked.

🎙️While Louise refuses to get down into the mud and dirt with her brother and father, she adores gardening and growing her own flowers, and has a collection of books on poisons and toxic plants. You humored her fascination with toxicology and allowed her to grow a collection of poisonous flowers, so long as she kept them far away from the kitchen. 

🎙️ Family dinner nights are a given, especially when Alastor does the cooking. There'll be a jazzy swing number playing in the background, while Louise helps her father prep for the meal, and you'll be laughing and dancing with Rowan in the living room.

🎙️ Sometimes, whenever the children play with you, Alastor would lurk just around the corner, watching you with such softness in his eyes, before they drift down to your stomach. You were so good with them, perhaps you'd grace him with another?

𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: AHHH I'M KICKING MY FEET RN- THESE TURNED OUT SO CUTE AND I LOVE ROWAN AND LOUISE!!

This turned out to be so long 😭 I just have so many ideas for this AU, I can't wait to release the oneshot

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭:

@starsformydarlingmazel, @chitter-chatter, @hazzbindarlingg, @darkangel582, @matrixbearer2024, @prosciuttosblog, @frog-fans-unite, @mysterypotatoink, @burgerflipper72, @chibikochannumberone, @strawberry-gothic, @roboticsuccubus83, @lulurubberduckie, @fangirlanxiety74, @viviannagiorgini, @localmsifan, @justtnat, @karolinda007-blog, @mglawwica, @wonderlandangelsposts, @saitisfied, @repostingmyfavs, @weirdflower2024, @montis-posts, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @theperfectmangovoid

@slytherin4ever, @i-love-jafar, @itzlochnessie, @mariaclarade-la-cruz1, @susvale, @valentique, @twismare, @robin-the-enby, @v3n7s, @forbidden-sunlight, @leathesimp, @matemor, @groovybear99, @frompeach, @moonmark98, @nyxnightshade7656, @sushigogo, @crowleysthings, @zombiesnips-blog, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @impulsivethoughtsat2am, @ashdaidiot, @crybabycat1, @repostingmyfavs, @crazii-saber-wolf, @reikamasama, @dudesorriso, @speckle-meow-meow, @alastor-simp

@maggotzdilemma, @cassidywinters

[konigenblobbity]

Metallic Beauties

Hobie Brown x Spidey!F!Reader

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Fluff, NSFW, nipple piercings, almost skinny dipping, Hobie being an absolute slut for your nipple piercings, tit biting and sucking, nickname

Summary: After a successful mission together, Hobie wants to show you a ‘new spot’ he found. Which turns out to be a rooftop hotel penthouse, with its own private pool. Hobie convinces you to take a relaxed moonlight swim, as both of you begin to strip you remember that you recently got a new accessory. Hobie not having yet seen your new nipple piercings… you can’t wait to see how he reacts.

A/n: Read a work by @murdrdocs about Hobie with a reader with nipple piercings and I was INSPIRED! Definitely check it out —> link. Also! Hobie has my whole heart… love this anti-establishment British heartthrob.

You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched Hobie do a series of dramatic poses between each swing on his web. You had just completed a day long mission with the punk, with expert skill and not a single slip up. Even made sure to keep the anomaly contained to an unexpectedly effective degree. You couldn’t help but share Hobie’s excitement.

Hobie was your closest friend on the team, having joined a few months ago, you were seen as a new recruit, not yet trusted… he didn’t see you like that. Due to Hobie’s lack of interest - more like borderline hatred - for labels, you two weren’t defined… merely thought of yourselves to be ‘close’.

Close being, telling each other anything and everything, having each others backs no matter what, you even getting involved in some of his demonstrations he went to, tending to each other - whether for injuries or… other needs. The two of you were inseparable, but undefined. Even though many of the other spider-people just wished you two would just accept you’re dating.

“Oi love, I wanna show you a lil somthin’, a new spot I’ve been hangin at” his words peaked your interest, and you just nod. At that he begins to swing off in another direction, ducking and weaving through a series of buildings. Trying your best to keep up, your curiosity only grows with each swing.

When he finally stops, he’s standing on the rooftop of a hotel. You land next to him and look around, seeing a large pool, a series of lounge chairs, and even a small seating area with a large fire pit. This ‘new spot’ was a hotel rooftop penthouse suite.

“Well… who did you bribe to be allowed here?” Your tone was playful as he begins to walk towards the pool, you following close behind. He chuckles lowly, and looks over at you, hands on his hips. “What can I say… I’ve got connections.” he peels off his mask and tosses it onto the lounge chair behind him.

“It’s not booked” he adds hoping to calm your slight unease. He didn’t need to use his spidey-senses to know that. Hobie had always been an amazing observer, picking up on the way you slightly shift your weight, how your pick at the fabric of your suit, how your eyes glance away every few seconds. It was easy to notice those things… because he often couldn’t help but observe you.

You take off your mask as well, throwing it on the lounge chair behind you, positioned right next to his. As you watch him strip out of his boots, then his vest and shirt your eyes widen. He notices your shocked expression and chuckles with an amused grin. “What? We just did a mission which’l keep Miguel off our asses for months. I’m just celebratin’, love”

You roll your eyes at his words but can’t help but agree. This mission was a pain and the pool looked really enticing. He continued to strip, peeling his shirt off, and unzipping the top half of his suit. You keep your gaze on him, intending to give him an incredulous look but unable to hide the slight awe in your eyes. You couldn’t help it, although you’d never admit it, Hobie looked good in anything… or even in nothing.

He smirks and jokingly remarks “Close your mouth… it ain’t like you haven’ seen me naked before” and he’s right, you’ve gone skinny dipping before, in fact you’ve both gotten naked on multiple occasion. Strip poker, just happenstance when you’re both high as kites, and times when you both agree the heat in your reality is unbearable.

You scoff “Well Hobie… when you’re right you’re right” before removing your shoes, and any clothes you wore over your suit. Then reaching to your back and unzipping your spider suit. As you pull it down you pause, remembering that you don’t wear a bra underneath the suit, feeling your bare back where the strap would be.

Hobie was just in his boxers now, and after putting his things on his lounge chair, he immediately dives into the water, quite elegantly if you say so yourself. You watched his figure under the water until his head broke through the surface. A hand coming up and rubbing his face.

He still had his jewelry on and the now wet metal glistened under the pool lights. They were a soft blue and lined the pool wall, with some additional lights outside of it. You could only stare as his figure was illuminated in a soft blue, reflecting of his face piercings beautifully. You were only able to break away your gaze when he spoke.

“The waters peak love, hop in before I come up there and throw you in” the lopsided grin on his face made it clear he wasn’t joking. You chuckle but then gulp, feeling suddenly vulnerable. Although he’s seen you naked before, you hadn’t yet told him that recently you got a new little piercing. Well… two new piercings.

They were fully healed now but you only got them a week or so ago. Not having yet found the correct way to tell or show him. You knew he wouldn’t judge, but you weren’t sure whether he’d like them. As much as you tried to convince him otherwise, with snide remarks and playful insults, you were nervous what he thought and truly cared about his opinion.

You turn away from him, showing him your back as you finish unzipping the suit and slip it off. When you turn he groans, his voice low “you bloody tease…” and you just chuckle before retorting back. “You bloody perv…”. You finished getting undressed, standing there only in your panties and jewelry, most of which you stole from him,

You placed your things on the lounge chair next to his, which already had your mask on it. As you were folding your suit and clothes, not wanting them to get wrinkled, there was a soft splash sound behind you. You place your mask on top of the pile of clothes and then turn back to the pool.

“If any of my things get soaked I sw-“ Once you turn back around towards the pool, he was gone. Your smile drops and your brows furrow. You walk to the edge of the pool looking down into it, thinking he was under the water. Your spoke cautiously, searching for him “Hobie? Where’d you go?” No response.

You go to turn around and gasp, suddenly face to face with Hobie. “Took too long. In ya go.” Before you can even react, Hobie pushes you into the pool. You let out a soft yelp and before landing in the pool you can see the smirk on his face.

There’s a loud splash as you fall into the pool, slowly sinking to the bottom, you open your eyes under the water and, in blurry vision, see Hobie dive into the water after you. Once again his dive is graceful, managing to perfectly align his body with yours, parallel to one another.

You watch through blurry vision as he glides up the length of your body, feeling his hands slide up your thighs, hips, and stop at your waist. His gaze focused on your face, until, from his peripheral vision, he catches a glint of light.

Even in his blurry vision he can see it’s coming from your chest. He tilts his head downwards, his eyes moving away from your face. They widened as he spots the two small silver beads in each of your nipples. You don’t have to see clearly to know he’s looking at your tits, your face beginning to feel flush at how entranced he appears to be.

You use his haze to swim away from him, his hands sliding off your waist. You take in a breathe as you resurface out of the water, shaking your head to shake off some of the water on your face. You open your eyes and look forward, watching as Hobie’s head pokes up after yours.

You were both standing in the shallower end of the pool, feet touching the ground, only a mere meter from one another. You felt your heartbeat quicken as he stands tall in front of you, feeling intimidated by his figure looming over you. His eyes were focused back on your piercings, now being able to see them clearly.

“Well well well… when’d you get those done?” You shrug, deciding to play coy. You tilt your head and furrow your brows. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at… what are you referring to?” Unable to hide the sly smirk growing on your face.

You watch as he pokes his cheek with his tongue, his eyes looking back up into yours. His gaze pinning you in place, unable to move from where you stand. He grins and let’s out an amused chuckle. “Tsk. Always so coy” His voice was low, but his accent was thick… he knew how you got whenever he spoke like that.

You watch as he moves towards you, a smirk still plastered on his face and his eyes narrowed. “I’m referring to…” you shudder slightly as his hands slide up your waist again, but then go to grope your breasts, his thumbs softly rubbing on each piercing. “These metallic beauties” his touch has you humming softly and looking into his eyes, his gaze lustful… you can only imagine you look the same.

He leans forward, his face now settling into the crook of your neck as he mumbles against your skin. His breath sending a shiver down your spine. “Hm. Isn’t that interestin’. They feel even better than they look…” His hands move back to your waist and, as if you weight nothing, he lifts you partially out of the water.

Recognizing his action, you know what he wants, you can only give in… wrapping your legs around his waist, allowing his hands to move to your thighs to hold you up. His face now directly in front of your breasts. “I wonder how they taste…” those words made your breath catch in your throat, back arching as his lips latch onto one of your piercings.

Your eyes fluttered shut as his tongue began toying with your piercing. His hands grasp tightly at the flesh of each of your thighs, “God… they taste even better” his soft groan sending vibrations through your entire body. His mouth was doing wonders, being so gentle with your bud, but effortlessly driving you mad with each flick of his sharp tongue.

The way he paused before beginning to lay searing hot licks over the entirety of your nipple with the pad of his tongue. It had you taking in shaky breaths. As his lips wrapped around your bud again. you could feel his coy smirk, clearly loving the reactions he was getting out of you. He took the piercing in between his teeth and that one action had you dizzy.

Loving the mix of pain and pleasure he was giving you. He began to move away, sucking at the piercing, his lips pulling away with a soft pop. You let out a shaky moan, barely audible but he heard it. And he wanted to hear more… loving the way he felt your body lightly tremble in his arms. The mere thought that he had this much power over you… it had him hazy and his only focus right now was you.

“You’ve been naughty haven’t you? Hiding these from me…” he moves his lips to your other breast, not wanting to leave it left out. He leans in, sticking out his tongue and softly circling the piercing, dragging a whine out of you. “Should’ve asked me to pierce them for you. Would’ve made them look perfect” he then closes his lips around the second piercing. Teasing it the same as he did the last.

You look down at him, his eyes immediately locking with yours. Your own glossed over with pleasure, his half-lidded, focusing his energy on perfectly teasing your bud. “A-are they not perfect?” You question. Not intending to be playful, but rather serious; genuinely asking him. Wanting to know what he thought, and getting tense at the idea that he didn’t think they were perfect.

“Aw… of course they are love. In fact, they look absolutely fucking ravishing on you” he begins to softly kiss your piercing, before going to kiss around it as well. Leaving open mouth kisses, and soft purple bruises in the process. “I just can’t help but be envious… knowing someone else got the pleasure of piercing them” he then bites at the skin of your breast.

You gasp lightly, your eyes fluttering closed again. Biting your lip as he takes the piercing back in his mouth, speaking against your flesh. “Watching you strip, then being able to praise you for stayin’ nice and still, watchin’ your face contort from pain… fuck darling what I would give to’ve been there” each of his words went straight to your head, making you more dizzy by the second.

“W-well… actually. I did them myself” you smirk and look down at him again. He pulls away from your chest, his mouth falling agape, his gaze locking on yours. A grin slowly gracing his lips. “Well fuck…” he moves a hand up to the back of your head, pulling your head down, crashing his lips against yours.

“My brave little bird aren’t you?” He mumbles against your lips, there’s something about the way he says it that has you whimpering against his lips. The way he calls you ‘his’… even if he didn’t like labels of what your relationship was, your heart sings at such praise from him. You softly nod your head, moaning against his plush lips and then feeling him smirk against yours.

His hand grasped your hair, pulling your lips from his for a moment, looking deep into your eyes, his own filled with desire. But you saw… something new. An aura of possessiveness, of unfiltered want… but what caught your eye the most was the smallest glint of pure affection and admiration.

“That’s you isn’t it hm? My bird… my best bird. All mine.”

[arandomdumbass]

Stories

Ok, we all refer to books and their settings as universes, right? We call them worlds and they’re created by us, essentially making us a god. But what if aliens didn’t have that? For all we know, creation of stories is a strictly human thing, so it’s not impossible. Anyway here’s my take on it.

—————

Finally, finally. They were through the history of the humans. The Galactic council had, as custom, reviewed the history of humanity to learn more of their new comrades. Humans, beside being absolute anomalies in every way imaginable, had a tendency to fight each other for the littlest of things.

Oh sure, sometimes they made sense, like a killed ruler or a custom broken. Other times though, not so much. Seriously, starting a war over a stool thrown at a minister, really?

Geocerk, the leader of the expedition, leaned back, eyes swelling painfully as he went through the information.

He jumped, however, when a young Xenog, a race known for its ability to smell lies, burst into the room, carrying several “books” and rambling in Xenmerorek.

“Wait, tell me that from the beginning?” Geocerk asked.

“The humans,” The Xenog, nicknamed “Phillip” by the humans, exclaimed. “They’ve made universes.”

“EXCUSE ME?!” Geocerk yelled, the room beginning to smell of fear. “Surely you’re joking.”

Phillip shook his mandibles and placed a small disk into a “player”, the screen flickering to life.

It started out normally, a standard city with average human civilians. Geocerk jumped as something red rushed by the screen, moving fast enough to create a sonic boom.

The camera sped up, showing a human male wearing red armor, a lightning symbol on his chest.

The man moved insanely fast, and Geocerk felt his legs shake as he watched the man reverse time with nothing but his speed.

Phillip paused the screen and played several more of the disks. With every one, Geocerk felt his fear for the humans grow exponentially.

“How do you know the humans made these universes, and that they didn’t just find them?” He asked. Both options were terrifying, but at least the second didn’t make them omnipotent.

Phillip pointed to the books on Geocerk’s desk. “They’re written by humans, hundreds of them. They’re called “writers” or “authors” and can make worlds with just their words.”

Geocerk quickly contacted several human officers, asking them questions of if these “authors” truly made worlds.

He received an unanimous ‘yes,’ but it seemed that not all humans could do it, giving Geocerk a small ounce of relief.

He sat in his chair, his entire body shaking in fear. “We must never, ever piss off the humans, lest they destroy us,” He told Phillip.

“Agreed,” Phillip replied.

“But why haven’t they destroyed us yet?” Geocerk asked. Any race with that power would be unstoppable.

“Maybe they believe we have that ability too?” Phillip suggested. Geocerk nodded; the humans he had spoken to all acted like it was a normal occurrence, as about as strange as the weather.

“Let’s make sure they never find out otherwise,” Geocerk stated, and Phillip agreed.

“We have found gods,” He muttered. “Gods that are too humble to recognize who they are, may their blessing be upon us.”

[felinefractious]

Final (hopefully) Notes on Moonpaw

So first off I’d like to specify this is not a Warriors blog.

The Warriors series was hugely important to me during my childhood so there’s a definite nostalgia factor there. I no longer read the books but I still interact with the material and community.

There is a hefty overlap between the cat genetics + phenotype community and Warriors fans. A non-insignificant portion of my followers are involved with the series to some extent.

As such the subject will occasionally come up. Going forward these instances will be tagged as #wc bullshit, even if the circumstances or nature of the discussion aren’t negative. It’s just better to have one consistent tan people can block.

But ultimately this is not and will never be a Warriors blog.

Now onto the matter at hand.

Let’s summarize.

Moonpaw is the protagonist of the upcoming series of Warriors. The official website recently released her design as well as her parents, which has caused a buzz within the community for multiple reasons.

She is labeled as a chimera in her description, which the authors represent with a split-face pattern. A notable aspect of her story is going to center around this and how unique and special this makes her…

Which only demonstrates the authors poor understanding of the subject, as the split-face pattern is a normal presentation of tortoiseshell coloration and something which would certainly have occured numerous time within the clans population prior to now.

One of the authors thought mackerel referred to a green-hued cat, though. So.

It is possible for Moonpaw to be a chimera in the same way it is possible for any character to be or have been a chimera, there is no singular way for chineric cats to look and phenotypically normal cats can be chimeric and it’s just not detected because no-one knows to look for it.

But the split-face in itself isn’t suggestive of being a chimera, this is a widely perpetuated myth.

The belief that split face = chimera may be a relatively benign misunderstanding but it’s somewhat concerning how devoted to this misbelief some people seem to be. It’s okay to be wrong, it’s okay to not have known something. If you’re given new information accept it, don’t come snapping back with “Why does it matter?”

It’s a slippery slope to try and decide what degree of misinformation is acceptable to spread and the way some people react to almost as if it’s a personal slight to be told is teetering dangerously close to anti-intellectualism, especially during a time where misinformation in general is on the rise a la AI.

Don’t get me wrong, deliberate information can be fun to play with because it involves some degree of understanding that it isn’t true. Goncharov is an excellent example of “Yes, and” and sometimes I’ll assigned completely fabricated breeds to followers cats as part of a game.

This is different than sincere ignornance.

And we’re already seeing the inevitable conclusion of this behavior, I’ve seen swaths of misinformation about chimerism stemming from this which are not as benign as the initial split-face misbelief.

Chimerism occurs when two zygotes fuse into one organism… and that’s all chimerism is.

Chimerism is not a and is not related to any disability. It is actually so benign that we don’t know how common it actually is because most remain undiagnosed because there’s no inclination to test for it.

In instances where it is tested for this usually isn’t due to any medical complication for the individual, rather reproductive anomalies seem to be the most common instigator for testing, such as someone failing a parental DNA test.

So of course Moonpaw could be disabled but in the same way literally any character could be disabled. There’s been nothing in her design or the rest of the source material we’ve seen thus far that indicates she’s canonically disabled. Her chimerism is irrelevant to this subject.

Chimerism is also not inherently an intersex condition, although it absolutely can be. Intersex conditions occur when there are chromosomal, hormonal or anatomical variations that deviate from the narrowly defined social norm of one sex or another.

Ezra is a well-known chimera who with 96% XX and 4% XY chromosomes in blood but 100/% XY chromosomes in skin which means Ezra is intersex… but if the zygotes that fused were both XX or XY the individual would not be intersex due to their chimerism, though.

Discrimination of intersex people is a real problem.

But it has nothing to do with Moonpaw as a chimera.

Of course Moonpaw could be intersex, the same as any character could be intersex. Moonpaw can even be intersex as a direct result of her chimerism, as is the case with Ezra! But being a chimera in and of itself isn’t an indication that she’s intersex, it is entirely possible for her to be a chimera and still be endosex.

So once again there is nothing present in the canon we’ve been presented with thus far to indicate she’s canonically intersex, and if she is intersex then her chimerism may or may not be relevant.

And finally… the inbreeding issue.

I’d like to emphasize that Moonpaw being inbred was not a deliberate choice made by the authors and is not intended to represent individuals born from a consanguineous union. The cast of these books are tremendous and they fail to keep track of the family tree, frequently resulting in related characters being paired essentially due to sloppy record keeping.

So with this in mind nothing has been included in the canon thus far to indicate Moonpaw canonically experiences any adverse effects due to her lineage.

Anyways, it seems that people learned about the Habsburg family in 9th grade and that they had health kssues attributed to inbreeding and that… is where their knowledge on the subject ends, I guess?

The problem with inbreeding from a strictly biological perspective is that recessive traitd are retained and perpetuated. This article from BBC Earth does a pretty good job of breaking down the jist of the issue in a language that’s pretty accessible to the layperson.

Speaking of the Habsburg I’ve seen Moonpaw’s situation related to them a few times so I plugged Moonpaw’s family and the Habsburg family into a calculator to see how similar their COI (coefficient of inbreeding) is.

Moonpaw has a COI of 11.62% which is about the same degree of relatedness as first cousins while Charles II of the Habsburg family had a COI of 25.20% which is the same degree of relatedness as half-siblings.

So if Moonpaw were to display characteristics of inbreeding they would most likely be hypertyping (essentially extreme preservation of family traits), recessive traits (which may be benign) or inherited disorders such as PK Deficiency.

Other characteristics of inbreeding in cats that we’ve seen come through the clinic include pectus excavatum, abnormal testicular and lymphatic tissue, bilateral or unilateral cryptorchidism, or non-severe structural abnormalities such as a syndactyl digit or additional, small tail vertebrae.

So there’s no reason to believe Moonpaw would resemble the mother from Barbarian (2022) and real people born of incest don’t actually look and act like that either. It’s a horror movie myth and acting like it’s an accurate representation does a disservice to those genuinely born into and disabled due to such circumstances.

Side Note: Jokes about incest aren’t funny and stereotypes about inbreeding in rural areas are deeply rooted in classism.

A final note that the inbreeding is entirely unrelated to the chimerism, there is no evidence that inbreeding increases the likelihood of chimerism occuring. So logically and canonically her chimerism and her inbreeding exist completely independent of each other.

So TL;DR

Moonpaw could be a chimera but the premise that her split-face is indicative of being a chimera is based in misinformation.

Moonpaw being a chimera is not and is not related to a disability.

Moonpaw being a chimera can cause her to be intersex but her being intersex is not a given based solely on her being a chimera.

Moonpaw is inbred due to author negligence but the way people visualize the effects of this are grossly sensationalized.

Moonpaw being inbred and Moonpaw being a chimera are unrelated.

Chimera, disability and intersex headcanons are awesome for any and all characters indepent of canon. Go wild!

[boytoyhalo]

Can we have more of the selkie au please?

are there fantasy books in the lighthouse? Did they see seal!Pac after the coat incident? Is Fit hunting an imaginary poachers on the island?

you absolutely can!!

They don't see Pac - human or seal - for a few days after the incident. During those few days, Fit very much notices the absence of his usual evening journaling buddy, and he's very much not happy about it. He scours the island in his free time looking for traces of whatever poacher is squatting there, but he can't find anything. He also notices Pac's absence, and by the 3rd day he's starting to come to an uncomfortable conclusion: the only logical explanation he can think of for his strange behavior, and the lack or evidence for any other people on the island, is that Pac must be the poacher he's looking for. He doesn't want to believe it, because Pac is so nice and he's always seemed to really like the seals (maybe even more so than him or Ramon) when they've been around them together, but he just doesn't know what else it could possibly be. Then right as he's resigned himself to confronting him about it, and begun to prepare for the ordeal of filing a report against his friend, he finds his furry friend waiting for him on it's usual rocks like nothing happened.

Fit spends a good few minutes just gaping at it, completely frozen - the fucking thing has the gall to look confused, tilting it's head at him like his son wasn't sobbing over it's severed skin just a few days ago. Even after the initial shock passes and he manages to drag himself out of his stupor and onto his own rock, he can't find any words to speak or to write; he just keeps staring at it in complete puzzlement. It stares back at him, it's gaze flicking curiously to the blank page in front of him every so often almost. After what feels like an eternity it huffs and flops over on it's side, seemingly having decided that it would rather nap than continue their stare-off. Fit begins his journal entry in uneasy silence, trying his best to let the scratching of the pencil on the page distract him from the anomaly next to him. Unfortunately, said anomaly doesn't tolerate the cold shoulder for long before snorting offendedly at him.

"What?" Fit raises an eyebrow at it. There's a beat before it snorts again, slapping it's front flippers loudly against the wet rocks. "You- oh, what, you want me to talk to you? Is that it?" It grunts softly. Fit blinks, his mouth opening and closing around words that don't come. "I mean I- I don't really uh. I mean, I'm just kinda speechless right now." And ok, that's an understatement - he feels completely disoriented, his entire world having been flipped on its head. This seal was dead, it had to have been, that was the only possible explanation for the way everything had lined up. Except apparently it wasn't, because the seal was alive and it was looking straight into his eyes with that disturbingly human intelligence shining through its own. As the gears in his head start turning, trying valiantly to come up with something to say, some pieces start to fall into place.

The pelt, Pac's freak-out and subsequent disappearance, the seal acting like someone's lost pet and not a wild predator, Pac having no traceable presence on the island but appearing every day, both of them missing a limb - little dots swimming around in his head, moving too quickly for him to connect, forming a fragment of something that Fit doesn't think he could handle knowing in full. He nearly slips and breaks his neck in his mad scramble off of his perch, startling the seal - or whatever this thing was. He ignores it's concerned cry and backs away slowly, a dizzying dread creeping slowly over him as his attempts to think of any logical explanation for the ever-growing pile of mysteries come up completely empty.

Various half-formed theories run through his mind as he speeds through the short walk back to the cabin: Was the seal Pac's pet? Was it some robotic creation of his? Did he kill it and do some fucked up death magic on it? Was he the seal? Was he a shape shifter, or- or some kind of hypnotist? Had the whole thing just been an illusion? A dream? Was Fit finally going insane?

Yeah, that's gotta be it he thought as he made his way through the door, being sure to close it quietly so as to not wake Ramon. I've finally fucking lost it. There was no way Pac was - whatever it was that Fit's psyche was convinced he was. That seal was a normal, if weirdly friendly seal, and there was a completely rational explanation for everything that Fit was just too dumb to catch onto. Pac was probably just freaked out by the implication of the seal's death, and maybe the pelt had just been an incredibly convincing fake. Yeah, that was it, definitely. Fit pointedly ignored the voices in his head that screamed all of the ways that that didn't make any sense as he stumbled his way through his nightly routine and into bed - it made enough sense that he was fine letting it be not his problem anymore. He was much more interested in getting a good night's sleep than in spiraling into a frenzy over something that probably didn't matter in the slightest

.....Or not. Apparently, whatever part of his brain he didn't have control over greatly overpowered the part that was sane and rational, combined with all of the exhaustion in his body. He sighed as he begrudgingly opened his eyes, staring blankly at the shadows that flickered across his wooden ceiling. He could already tell this was gonna give him hell. He had never been someone who could take it easy, not even before the sounds of gunfire and explosions and the heavy stench of blood-soaked dirt had made themselves a permanent part of his world. This certainly wasn't the first time since that he had questioned his perception of reality; in fact, he was quite familiar with being disconnected from it, the way that it could bend around the most damaged parts of him and twist his mind back into a shape that no longer fit in the present. He sometimes heard gunshots when there was no one to fire them, screaming in his ear while he slept at night - It wasn't far-fetched at all to write this off as the conspiratorial delusions of a soldier taken off the battlefield too late. But, something about it just kept nagging at him, urging him to look deeper even if he couldn't handle it. Finally, after what had to be hours of tossing and turning in his sheets, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

The spiral only pulled at him harder the next morning, as he made his early morning rounds and reports, harder still as he made his way back to the house and made breakfast. By the time he woke up Ramon he was wishing he still had hair on his head just so he could pull it out. His boy, of course, noticed his mood immediately.

"...What? What is it?" Fit asked as the kid stared at him flatly over his scrambled eggs and toast.

"Something is bothering you." Ramon pointed his fork at him. "Tell me." Fit sighed; that was his son, blunt as ever. He briefly contemplated spinning a lie to ease his mind, but wrote it off as soon as he remembered that his baby boy was a genius that, unfortunately, knew him far too well.

"It's nothing, Ramon, don't worry about it. Eat your eggs." Ramon dropped his fork loudly onto the table, not breaking eye contact. He looked unimpressed.

"Fit." There was silence as they stared at each other from across the table, both plates forgotten as they engaged in some sort of psychological battle that Fit felt he had a distinct disadvantage in somehow. After a long few minutes he turned his gaze away with a resigned grunt, knowing from an abundance of experience that there was no use in resisting Ramon's questioning - The kid was determined, and he had a way of getting things out of Fit that he sometimes didn't even want to admit to himself. He swallows a mouthful of his suddenly very bland tasting eggs, trying to think of how to start.

"You wouldn't happen to have any books that talk about seals, would you?" Is what he eventually settles on. Ramon blink at him in confusion, seemingly thrown off by the turn of the conversation. "It's- well, it might be nothing. It's probably nothing, But." He takes a deep breath, admitting to weakness is a difficult task that Fit has always had to push himself greatly to accomplish; he's been trying to work through it for his young boy's sake. "There's just been some stuff happening around here that I can't figure out and that's kinda the only place I can think to start looking, you know what I mean? It's nothing you need to worry about though, I promise." Ramon fiddles with the frayed bauble of his favorite red hat as he hums, thinking.

"I think a couple of the animal encyclopedias that you got me mention them, but nothing too detailed. What's been happening with the seals?" Fit takes another nauseating bite to buy himself time to consider his answer.

"I've just... been thinking about the fur we found," he says carefully, praying that It won't be a sensitive topic. Thankfully, Ramon doesn't seem fazed, only raising his eyebrows a bit as he waits for his father to continue. "I was sure it was from one of those ones that like to hang around here, and we were only seeing five of them for the past few days so I thought - someone must have hunted it, you know? But there's been no one here but us and Richas' parents, and then last night the seal that was missing showed back up and." He cuts off his ramble as he notices the strange look Ramon is giving him. "What? Do you think I'm going crazy or something?"

"Pac said he gave the seal it's skin back, remember?" He says plainly, like it makes complete sense. Fit balks at him, mouth open in disbelief. Ramon had.... Ramon believed that? But he was so smart for a kid his age, he had even called Fit out for pretending it wasn't dead! Had he just.... decided to believe Pac? Was this his way of coping?

"You, uh. What?" He responds eloquently. Ramon looks at him like he's grown a second head, and ok, now Fit is definitely going crazy. Since when does his little boy genius believe that one can simply give a dead animal it's skin back and bring it back to life?

"He gave it back." He draws out every word, as if he's the adult explaining a simple concept to a child. "The seal is fine. Richarlyson said it took Pac on adventures with it to thank him." He sniffs petulantly. "Kinda think he should have invited me, but whatever. It's all ok, see! Just like you said." Fit has no idea what to say, completely lost. This conversation had done nothing but add another layer of headache to the already impressive thorn in his side. He nods slowly, deciding to just let it go for the sake of the little sanity he has left.

"Right, ok. That makes sense, I guess." As far as he's concerned, if Ramon is happy there's no issue. That's what he tells himself at least, and to his credit it is mostly true. Ramon knows better though, and he levels Fit with a look that tells him as much. After a moment he returns his attention to his plate, looking bored with the topic of conversation.

"Richas said Pac is gonna be back to see you today. I'm gonna ask him all about it, you can listen if you want to." Fit startles a bit. Pac was coming back? "And if that doesn't answer your questions, maybe you should try checking all those old journals we found to see if they say anything useful?" Right, the archived journals from previous lighthouse attendants - Fit had completely forgotten about them, locked away as mementos in a storage room at the bottom of the lighthouse itself. He hadn't spared them a thought since he and Ramon had been shown them on their first day on the island. That was as good a place to look as any, he supposed. He makes a mental note to do so later tonight, when he's done with his work for the day.

"Yeah that's a good idea actually, thank you Ramon. You're damn smart, you know that?" Ramon nods easily, and Fit cracks a smile for the first time since his worldview had been upturned the night before. "Anyway, you say Pac is coming back today?" He tries not to sound too eager, though he doesn't think he does very well - he's missed his friend, what could he say? The manual labor was much more grueling without company, he had realized. It had been hard doing it alone again after having gotten used to Pac (and on semi-frequent occasion, Mike's) company over the past few months. Even when he had suspected the other man of being the dreaded poacher, a concept he had now completely written off as too out of character to be reliable, he had been more sad about the possibility of having to turn him in than about the actual poaching - although he definitely had been sad about that too. Ramon looks like he's stifling a laugh.

"That's what Richarlyson said. He said his other parents were making him do it today." Fit doesn't have time to question why Pac apparently needed someone to make him come back after his "adventure" before Ramon is getting up from the table with an exclamation of "done!" and running out to the beach, leaving his dirty dishes to Fit and ignoring as he calls after him, of course.

He finishes cleaning up and gets outside to join him just in time to see Richarlyson running eagerly up to the other boy, Pac following behind him at a much more casual pace. He can't help frombreaking into another smile as he draws closer, black waves dripping wet (as always) and a familiar grin lighting up his face.

"Oi!" He calls out across the remaining distance. Pac wastes no time in calling back to him, speeding up his walk a bit as Richarlyson reaches his target and tackles him into a hug. Fit decides to leave them to their own devices for the moment, setting his own pace towards his approaching friend and meeting him in the middle. "Where have you been?" Pac's smile turns sheepish, and Fit's eyes flick to the way his teeth nervously pull at his lip for a moment before he speaks.

"I was feeling really sick, I think I must have caught something from touching that pelt! I was throwing up and having a- a fever, you know how it is," He looks to Fit almost bashfully, like he's fully aware Fit isn't buying it. Fit, for all he's been agonizing over the possibility of Pac being.... something, suddenly finds that he doesn't really care. The seal is alive, Richarlyson is safe - whatever Pac was doing is his business. He's just happy to have some adult company again. Before he can say as much, not that he would have, Ramon comes running up from behind him, stopping short in front of Pac with elation tangible in his demeanor.

"PAC! Richas says you went on an adventure with the seal who's skin we found, what was it like? TELL ME!" Pac laughs, startled, and crouches down to meet the boy's eyes, one hand coming up to ruffle his hair through his hat.

"Yeah, it was amazing! I gave the seal his fur back and he was like 'oh wow thank you so much! come swim with me!' And he took me to his home in the kelp forest and introduced me to all his fish friends! We even saw some- ah, I forget how you say it in English - The big guys with the claws... LOBSTERS! yeah, we saw some lobsters! And they were fighting each other with SWORDS! Oh it was so cool Ramon, I wish you could have seen it. Hey, maybe I can ask him to take you next time!" Ramon's giggles stop abruptly as he gasps in excitement, eyes lighting up as he begins pleading with Pac to do so. Fit shakes his head fondly.

There's a soft look in Pac's eyes as he speaks animatedly to Ramon, recounting his epic underwater adventures with the dramatic flair of a man who's very used to entertaining children. And yeah, Fit decides as brown eyes stray momentarily to share an amused look with him, none of it matters. He'll look at those journals later to see if there's any mention of seal pelts or strange men appearing out of nowhere, but in the meantime he couldn't care less - he has his work buddy back, his son is happy, the weather is nice and no seals have been harmed.

Maybe he can take it easy, just this once. For now.

[janyiahsucks-blog]

A Dream With a Baseball Player

~Miles falls in love with someone who he can't even know.~

wc: 0.6k

warnings: slight stalking (miles is a pussy)

Miles is taking this very seriously. I mean it's his first official mission from Miguel and after their long-standing tension he is quick to try not to disappoint him.

He has a very strict set of rules assigned to most of them being, so he simply doesn't cause more harm than good. The one Miguel stressed the most was to stray from interacting with the people of Earth-780. He says he doesn't want Miles getting attached to people from other multiverses and that this mission is a simple in and out job.

"Do NOT overcomplicate this Morales" Miguels voice is so loud that it rattles in Miles's skull before finally settling.

To say the mission went slightly awry would be an understatement. In the course of trying to capture the anomaly he finds himself in a situation in which he has to save (therefore interact with) one of the many citizens of Earth-780. You.

Probably the most normal person Miles's has interacted with in weeks. But to him you're enthralling. There's just something about you that drives him crazy. He doesn't know what exactly it was that first drew him in, but he knows the hook line and sinker was your smile.

Your smile was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and he knows from that moment on he's absolutely fucked. You exchange maybe five words on the way back to your apartment (he insists to walk you).

In the brief conversation he catches your name, and he finds himself wishing he could be just Miles. Maybe he could introduce himself some other time when he wasn't on duty but that happened to be what Miguel called a liability, he had some strict rules against dimension hoping for anything other than missions.

But hey some rules were just meant to be broken, especially if it meant he could see you smile at him just one more time. He found himself visiting Earth-780 far more than he would like to admit. When he was there, he spent all of his time on you. Following you home, making sure you were safe, finding your hobbies. And most importantly sketching you. Candid linework of you in the park, the outline of the back of your head, you smiling at your friends. They filled his sketch book to the brim. Sure, it made him seem like a little (lot) of a stalker, but he just needed to know that you and that smile were fine.

When he got home from long days of patrols and fighting crime, he thought of you. Opening his sketchbook his fingers trace the lines that make up your face on the book. He decided in that moment for one of the very few times in his life he wanted to break rules and he was gonna do it no matter the consequence.

The next week after days of preparing himself he opens a portal to Earth-780 and walks himself all the way to your local park. He knew you'd be there due to his detective work (mild stalking).

You were sitting on a bench minding your business looking as gorgeous as always when he approached you. An awkward looking boy with a lopsided smile and his hand held out in front of him.

You look around trying to see if he's confused, because to your knowledge you have no idea who this man is.

"Uh Do I know you..." Your voice is like music to Miles's ears. He hasn't heard something so sweet since their previous "conversation" if you can even call it that.

"Oh No you don't I just thought you looked like you needed some company" He shrugs trying to be nonchalant when really his heart was beating out of his chest and his brain was turning to mush.

"I'm Miles"

When he gets your number and you make him pinky promise to call he finds himself happy he decided to break some rules

[ragingstillness]

Reading Ben’s new analysis of the Darkling’s character and it’s like deja vu for Tom Hiddleston’s analysis of Loki.

Two actors who understand their characters better than anyone, horrendously underutilized, and having to provide depth to the characters through every microexpression they can fit in because the writers, directors, producers, everyone else certainly isn’t doing it.

Also, that analysis of the Darkling was so accurate it took my breath away. What I feel the show sometimes and the books all the time forget is that the Darkling didn’t start off evil. He didn’t start off violent, diametrically opposed to Alina’s point of view. He started off as her. He became this.

“School her in cynicism?” “Watch the people you love die over and over?” This is literally what made him this way. This is how he got from where she is to where he is.

There’s a section I believe in the books but it may also be in the show where Alina essentially scolds the Darkling about his violent and extreme tendencies and suggests he try diplomacy and his reaction is an exhausted “how many times do you think I’ve tried that?”

He’s exhausted other options. He’s lived so long he thinks every manner of person is going to act exactly the same. He’s not truly seeing individuals anymore, only archetypes, i.e. the lecherous king, the bigoted nobles, the superstitious commoners. And why shouldn’t he think of them this way? History has shown him to be right with few anomalies.

And once he lost hope why would he risk it all on the idea that maybe just maybe some people might be different? He has too much to lose to take that chance. He doesn’t have the ability to get that hope back because he’s too frightened of the possible consequences and rightfully so.

So Ben is absolutely correct, the Darkling sees Alina as someone he used to be. And he’s trying to teach her the lessons he feels he’s learned so that she won’t make the same mistakes and have to go through the same pain to figure out what he already knows. It’s much more tragic and complicated than, he’s evil, she’s not.

But that’s what you get when your shitty source material creates a vibrant political landscape and uses it as a background for a cheesy romcom.

[charliewhaw]

What would vox reaction be if he knew about Lilith and all.

(Good question! I'm going to assume we're talking about if Lilith abused the fuck outta Al.)

Vox would drop his 'Fuck Alastor' mug. He wouldn't even glance down at it as it shattered at his feet. He would be in absolute shock.

"Alastor sold his soul?" He would say, dubious at first. But as the dots started to connect, he would begin to grin. "He's being tortured? By the queen of Hell?" His grin would turn to a laugh. "Oh-ho-ha-ha! This is rich!"

He would put on a fucking show about how hilarious he found it. But as the reality would begin to sink in, his amusement would slowly change and distort into something more disturbed.

Lilith wasn't just a demon. She was the first demon. She was powerful. She was strong. She was... torturing Alastor.

"Oh fuck," Vox would say, as it finally dawned on him just how bad this was. How brutal was the abuse? "Shit," he would say, as he realized how fucked Alastor’s situation probably was. How fucked Alastor was… She owned his soul. "Dammit!" He would yell, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. For once, Vox would feel powerless. Lilith was a whole different ballgame than the overlord he was used to facing.

Alastor was his enemy. His arch-rival. The villain of Vox's story. But he used to be so much more than that. He still was.

Vox would then spend more time rigorously analyzing the videos he managed to capture of Alastor. Instead of obsessing over them, hate and anger in the forefront of his mind, his focus would become checking on Alastor's condition. He'd give himself headaches with how much he would squint, trying to see through Alastor's video distortions. Was Alastor limping? Did he just hold his side for a second? Was his smile strained? Was he okay today?!

He’d probably rope Velvette into it, using her social media platforms to keep track of any mention that someone spotted Alastor not looking at full health.

Vox has always been obsessed with Alastor, and we'd definitely see that here. He would set up alerts on his video feeds to detect Alastor's video anomalies. It would be to keep an eye on where Alastor went, how long he was there, and if he came back hurt. Vox would prepare himself for if he ever saw Alastor return from a meeting with Lilith and he was too injured to make it back to the hotel. This plan would include causing a distraction on the other side of town-- probably blowing some shit up or something-- so no one would see Alastor in a vulnerable state, then booking it to the Radio Demon's location. He'd be aware that Alastor would be stubbornly unreceptive to any assistance Vox offered, of course. He would expect nothing less from the Radio Demon. But, he still wouldn’t hesitate to try and help him, as pathetic and unhelpful as his attempts would end up being. Vox would cross that bridge when he came to it.

Outwardly, Vox would use Alastor’s situation against him, flawlessly pretending he wasn’t alarmed, but inwardly falling apart about it. He would debate blackmailing Alastor, probably even threatening the Radio Demon with it from time to time. He couldn’t let Alastor think he cared, because he totally didn’t! This knowledge was just too good to pass on using it to his advantage. He even had some ideas on what to make Alastor do if he did blackmail him.

His first idea would be to make Alastor join the Vees, naturally. Forcing Alastor’s surrender after years of fighting and resisting would be so invigorating! He could make Alastor do whatever he wanted. He would make him start a podcast. It would fit with his style but force him to catch up with the times. He could even make him get a new wardrobe. Something that fit with the Vee’s theme– he could make Alastor even change his name! Valastor— Vastor— Vala— okay, maybe not. But he would have the option to make him do it regardless! The endless possibilities!

His second idea would be much more childish, but satisfying nonetheless. He could make Alastor say “Vox is superior to me in every way. Much more powerful! Much more influential! Much more handsome!” Even better, he could make Alastor say it on his radio show! Though… it would occur to Vox that Alastor might be more willing to let Hell know he was owned by its queen than to ever say any of that.

His third idea would be more… private. Less extravagant, though much more impactful. He could make Alastor– oh, hey look! Is that your obligatory RadioStatic merch?!

In the end, Vox would have a field day with this information. He’d use it for his own selfish gain, probably leaving Alastor in several humiliating and precarious predicaments. At the same time, his stomach would churn whenever he got an alert on his video feeds that Alastor had left the hotel. Was he going to meet Lilith? If he was, Vox would end up biting his nails as he waited, and waited, and waited for Alastor to return from the meetings. And then would endure headaches as he did his best to compulsively examine Alastor’s status through the glitching mess that covered him.

[bonefall]

I tried to use search before asking, so apologies if this has already been covered, but I was wondering - what's the dynamic between humans and housepets in BB? The original books tend to frame housecat life as dull and stifling even in the eyes of housecats themselves, in line with the popular opinions among people who oppose the idea of keeping cats indoors. Is that maintained here, maybe in light of the fact that cats in this universe are highly intelligent animals whose needs are less likely to be met by the common pet owner, or are there housecats in BB who are happy with their housefolk? Are there housecats who see and bond with their housefolk as family? How well do humans meet their pets' needs, broadly speaking; does Albion hold similar perspectives and/or policies to the UK on cat care and stray management as far as indoor-outdoor?

This is where the logical conclusion of cats having been sapient all along kind of starts to clash with canon's... weird thoughts on what normal cats should be able to do

For the record: Unequivocally I advocate for keeping cats inside. Outdoor cats are bad, for the cat and for the environment. This goes for the UK too, your cat is not special, it is a killing machine, England did not evolve to accommodate millions of free predators.

(An overpopulation of predators starves and kills the excess, and then prey populations rise in turn in a natural cycle. Domestic animals are fed by humans which keeps the population artificially high, interrupting this cycle)

But, the thing is:

REAL cats are not sapient. They're animals. BB cats have human intelligence.

(Even canon... that's not a cat. Cats don't form language, or make government, or have a concept of land stewardship.)

SO here's how things are different in Albion;

Only domestic cats are sapient. Something about domestication quirked cats, specifically.

This ONLY hit cats; probably because they domesticated themselves instead of on purpose by humans.

Lynxes, servals, lions, etc, exist but are nonsapient.

Probably because of their ancestry, cats don't naturally form large, structured society. The average clowder is a loosely connected group of friends and family.

It's normal and not damaging for cats to go several months living alone, unlike a human. They don't NEED to live in groups.

So culture can die pretty quickly if a clowder is interrupted in some way. They don't have a problem with taking their closest relatives and striking out.

SEE: The Nomadic Group that BB!Jake/Sparrow is part of, Wind Coalition homesteads, the cats that live in the various farms above Ravenpaw and the Barleys.

3 - 5 is the group average. Usually half of the members will be related and kittens leave at a certain age (usually 2 or 3)

15 cats is a large clowder. Clan cats are an anomaly with densely populated "Clans."

but Clan cats are absolutely put to shame by the tribe, which has 3 Wards which are practically cat cities of 50+

The most common types of romance closer resemble BloodClan's matriarchy or Smoky's polycule. Clan cat romance is also an anomaly.

The average size of a litter is 2, as opposed to canon which is 3, and opposed to reality which is 4 - 8

They are also very unlikely to ever birth more than 6 litters. Most reproductive cats will have 2.

Like humans, they also don't have a litter at the first onset of puberty. First litters tend to come around 2 years.

So to begin with, these cats aren't like real ones. A single pair of real cats can have over a hundred children in their lives.

They also have a more drawn-out adolescence. 6 months is the START of puberty; similar to being a 13-year-old human.

But anyway, onto HOUSECATS

Unequivocally the best way of life, even for these cats.

They do have a habit of jimmying open objects, more than real cats. There is a large market for "pet aware" design, like inlaid locks on windows, chains on fridges, and jams in drawers.

However. They are just as lazy.

Feline-specialist biologists have to come up with "tricky" trials to test their intelligence. Cats do not care about pleasing humans like dogs do.

Rural areas are best for keeping these cats. They do really well on farms.

People who keep cats in car-infested or dense areas are advised to keep their cats indoors. Not only are cars and crowds a danger, but ferals are often hostile towards so much crowding.

In some ways, you can compare these cats to monkeys more than cats, with their troop structures.

AND SPEAKING OF MONKEYS...

Like monkeys, problem clowders are subject to animal control raids. It is NOT unheard of that a clowder gets territorial or starts biting people.

Usually the individual cat is captured and dealt with. Sometimes the problem is so bad that there will be a roundup.

That's excessively rare though. These are very politically unpopular, people love cats.

And cats love people! There's really bad and awful people out there, and really bad and awful cats; but they're the exception, not the rule.

There's a sentiment in the universe that dogs are direct and cats are roundabout; cats are occupied with puzzle toys and novelty, dogs like to be commanded.

They respond to music like parrots. Jessy can change a record in her owner's victrola. Her owner is a himbo and just thinks it's a trick her previous owner taught her, not stopping to question how she had an old owner who also had a victrola and taught her how to change records. In 2012

Cats are still easy to keep, in spite of all the additions. A really smart cat can be entertained with toddler toys. Most are fine with a friend and 30 mins of playtime a day.

They do a lot of sleeping.

Most cats do get neutered and spayed at 6 months. Housecats don't usually see it as a big deal, or chalk it up to the price of a good home.

Clan cats find that SHOCKING and sickening. How can you think something like that is not a big deal??

But they just... don't. BloodClan too.

Clan cats are taught to fear lots of aspects of housecat life, which feeds into their xenophobia. It wasn't always THIS bad-- it really turned for the worst under Flystar of SkyClan.

But anyway forget them for a moment

There ARE a few downsides of being a housecat. There's a total lack of agency here, for one

Bumble and Turtle Heart couldn't control their owners adopting Tom. Twolegs often take kits at a certain age, and you may never know where they went.

A human can die and not have a home for you to go to. They can be abusive or neglectful. A new one can be brought in who hates or can't be around cats.

Problems, but, not INHERENT ones y'know? Most housecats do have good homes.

Anyway, TL;DR

BB!Cats are slightly different than real cats because I am leaning into the fact that they speak a real language, with the higher intelligence that implies.

In addition, I treat Housecats as a "Culture" to fix, on the same level as the other canon groups that get treated as inferior to Clan cats (Tribe, Guardians, etc). "Culture" because, obviously, Every Single Housecat Ever doesn't share a culture lmao. But I hope that makes sense.

[sardonic-the-writer]

Hey sard. Who ever you want appreciating readers stretch marks all over them? Like tracing them and stuff.

chose schlatt because i can't stop thinking about the absolute anomaly of a man

• Schlatt has never been that big on soft moments

• If he's being completely honest, he was a bit of an ass when he found out you were sensitive about your stretch marks

• He's the definition of someone who can take a joke too far—pursuing the idea of laughs so much it results in other people's detriment. All for what he assumes would be momentarily fun

• Most of the time people could brush his words off. After all it's Schlatt. You don't go into a friendship, or more, with him without expecting some hazing

• But still. All that being said, when he noticed the way your eyes dimmed at his sarcastic comments that may or may not have been toeing the line between teasing and outright degrading, his mouth sewed itself shut pretty quick

• It didn't help that he had decided to start all that in front of a small gathering of people, words tumbling out of his mouth—that smelled slightly of alcohol I should add—before he could stop it

• Realizes he fucked up. Yeah, he's a cunt, but not an idiot. Even without people there to give him angry looks and a silent warning to apologize to you or else, he'd feel ashamed

• Probably had to chase you down while bringing Jambo along as a peace offering, hoping you'd see the cat and decide not to start setting fire to him with your gaze. Which worked, surprisingly

• Schlatt awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, trying his best to explain that he didn't actually mean anything—most of it coming out with the same level of finesse that a fifth grader has while reading a book report

• "I guess what I was trying to do was, fuck um, I'm not good at this shit. I don't know. I'm sorry alright? I was a fucking asshole and I'm really sorry about that. Really. Now, can I just hug you and—and we can forget that I actually care about you? Or whatever."

• It's his own way of trying to tell you that he really does care about how you feel. That your stretch marks are actually kind of cool, that he thinks you're great anyways, and all that shit, trying to keep his little ego intact all the while. But in reality, he'd sacrifice that in a heartbeat to male you feel better

[ramshackledtrickster]

Across the Spiderverse spoiler thoughts below about Miguel and some meta

Low key feel like they’re gonna address this in Beyond the Spiderverse but ,, Miguel in his comic book origins has a lot more in common w miles? In terms of differing from main spider-man canon while still very much being spider-man

I feel like comics Miguel would probably totally be on Miles’ side in the film and tell film Miguel off for it tbh like

Miguel’s origins were directly written to be different from Peter Parker’s

Of all the spider people, assuming they keep his origins from the comics, he should know more than anyone that divergences don’t necessarily break canon

Yeah there was already a Spider-Man in his universe, long dead now— but Miles too had a spider-man? Who died? And Miles took on that mantle? Peter even told him ‘you don’t have much of a choice’ in the first film when he realizes he has spider powers, and Miguel DEFINITELY didnt choose to become 2099’s spider-man

He actively hated his powers and the circumstances that led to them (forcefully drugged and almost killed by a coworker by getting his genes spliced with spider DNA) and he put on a costume on a whim to get a bounty Hunter off his trail— but everyone else put the spiderman title on him and he would rather not have those powers at all

He became spiderman to atone for the bad things he did at Alchemax, and he’s driven by guilt “With Great Power comes Great Guilt” which I really hope they elaborate upon in the movie

He’s still spider-man, but he’s absolutely a different breed of spider-man— he didnt have an uncle Ben figure’s death to motivate him into becoming spider-man, and barely of the ‘canon events’ apply to him at all in the comics. Also if he could go back in time and ensure he never gets those powers, he was pretty explicit in stating so in one of these issues

So I feel like the filmmakers knew this and gave him the extra ‘lost family’ dimension angle to have him better justify his thesis of the film, where he believes that any anomaly or change to the formula means disaster. But like,,, he is an anomaly. Both for his presence breaking that dimension as well as his origin’s diversions from Spider-man lore.

One of the definitive traits of being Spider-Man is the initiative and the choice to become spider-man— put those powers to good use to help people. And comics Miguel was emblematic of that because despite being so different in origin, and his turnaround happens much later in life after he’s already done wrong and Eve if he doesn’t want to, he still chose to continue being spider-man. Comics Miguel would totally be on miles’ side w all this in mind like,,

Idk my brain’s kinda mushy and this analysis probably sucks but I’m just making observations especially after reading up on the 90s spiderman 2099 run in preparation for the film

[phantom-crossovers]

I’ve had kind of a busy week, so I’m a little late to the party, but let’s talk about Danny Phantom: a Glitch in Time.

Spoiler warning.

I have been in this fandom for 13 years and I feel so, so nourished by this book. I’ll admit that I was skeptical about having a canon continuation, but this absolutely blew my socks off. It stays true to the spirit (heh) of the original show, while expanding upon it in regards to both characterization and lore.

Now, there’s something specific I want to discuss. The first translated rune message, the clue that led the team to discovering the true nature of the Ghost Zone.

I think it’s safe to assume that most of us here on Tumblr know what this is a reference to, but I’ll state it for the record anyway.

This text is part of the guideline for long-term nuclear waste warning messages. It is intended to deter future civilizations from disturbing nuclear waste repositories which will continue to be dangerous for thousands and even millions of years to come.

The nods to nuclear radiation do not stop there.

And as I write this, something else occurred to me.

The memorial to the Ghost Zone’s genesis reveals that it and the mortal realm were once one, but were split in two.

And how do atomic explosions work? Nuclear fission. Splitting the atom. Dividing the indivisible. The ultimate violation of the natural order.

The memorial emphasizes that the divide between the mortal realm and the Ghost Zone is not the natural order. They were once one, and neither can exist without the other.

Which means that Danny, as a half-ghost, isn’t an anomaly. He embodies harmony itself.

…And that’s all I got. Hopefully it’s coherent, I had to multitask while writing this because of my puppy.

Thoughts?

[possiblylisle]

A Writeblr Introduction

About Me:

Hej.

You can call me Lisle, I am 19 and have been an avid writer since I learned to mash letters together. I've lurked on Tumblr intermittently for a little under five years.

I am constantly experiencing ear pain due to always wearing earbuds, but I view them as a necessity because music helps me focus. That, and I am not a fan of outside noise.

I mostly read contemporary or science fiction, though I do occasionally like some psychological horror.

Also: My favorite color is pink :)

About My Writing:

I mostly write science fiction, though, I also like to sometimes write contemporary fiction or horror (noticing a pattern yet?)

I try to write stories that have a heavy focus on the characters and their mentalities. I also absolutely love creating a cheery little guy and then putting them in a terribly fucked up scenario.

My Current WIP:

The novel I'm working on right now is the first book in what is planned to be a duology with the possibility of more if I deem it necessary to tell the whole story.

The novel is science fiction, specifically Cyberpunk. The novel's current theme deals with bodily autonomy, identity, and the corruption of power. I would say more about the book, but I have been told that giving away too much about a novel on the internet is not good if you want to be traditionally published like I do.

Conclusion?

I am here. I will occasionally post some of my other, smaller, WIPs that I do not plan on publishing traditionally. Those projects will mostly be writing practice projects or leisure projects.

If you stuck around to read this, thank you, I hope you stick around longer and help support my career as an author.

(Master List Under the Cut)

Master List

Doves, Death, and Java:

Opening Line

The Characters/OCs

ANOMALY:

Early History