#this boy is (slightly) less traumatized lol

[quasieli]

[ID copied from alt text: A waist up drawing of Jassin (he/him) and Nita (she/her), set against a wavy patterned orange and pink background. Jassin is a young, thin, dark purple Drow boy with bright purple eyes, long curly white hair pulled up in two puffy pigtails, and white freckles on his cheeks. He is wearing a green t shirt and blue pants. He is looking towards the viewer with a soft smile as he holds Nita in his arms. Nita is an old, crunchy-looking calico cat with paled orange eyes. Her fur is very ruffled and she looks almost like a well loved teddy bear. Her tongue is slightly blepping out of her mouth as she lays close to Jassin. End description.]

My players are headed to help my boy Nam's family out of a tough situation, so ofc I had to draw baby boy brother and the inspiration behind familiar!Nita! Love this crunchy old lady cat ❤️

[freesia-writes]

Chapter 1: Family Dinner

Enjoy a riveting tale of romance, suspense, adventure, and self-discovery as Hunter finds his path after the events of TBB. With engaging imagery, emotional depth, comic relief, and some fun twists and turns, the story will take you on a delightful ride with our beloved Sergeant, leaving you satisfied as he finds his happily ever after… eventually. 😉 Rated PG-13 for some mild suspense, suggestive talk, alcohol and drug use, and adult themes. Banner and dividers by @pinkiemme Master List here

BEFORE WE DIVE IN... Now that we’re past the finale, I’d like to make this fit in as well with that as possible. But I also want to enjoy it. ;) So here’s where this lies… Tech was found alive and well (living in a hut in the forest on Tantiss? lol) and came with the boys after they BLEW IT ALL UP. Omega is living with them as well, for now, because they all thought it was wise to give her a break and some semblance of “normal life” while the rebellion continued to build. She might seem a little less like a full soldier here and more like a typical teenager on the brink of adulthood, and that might be a bit of a shift from her development throughout season 3, but I think it’s still reasonable to think that some of the typical adolescent stuff might come up once she was immersed into a more typical adolescent setting. Maybe not, but again… it’s just for the plot. ;) 

I’m changing the setting for a variety of reasons, but they left Pabu out of fear that the Empire might still have it on their radar. You’ll learn more about the island of Xylo in a couple chapters. Crosshair didn’t lose a hand, but he’s still got some lingering effects from his time on Tantiss. Echo opted to spend a year with the Batch before rejoining the rebellion. The events of this fic may seem relatively domestic after all that the Batch endured, but I really just wanted to have a warm and fuzzy story with family, humor, love, and some plot twists. Ultimately, the purpose here is to enjoy a romance adventure with Hunter, so please forgive any plot holes and just enjoy the ride. ;)

Chapter 1: Family Dinner (Word Count: 2.5k) Fanart by @nika6q

The balmy sea breeze ruffled the tablecloth and made the string lights dance merrily above the jovial scene below as the clinking of silverware on plates punctuated the steady hubbub of conversation that rose and fell with the emotion of what was being shared. Some overly-optimistic sea birds hovered above on a swell, fastidiously watching for any dropped crumbs before swooping gracefully into another updraft. Crosshair was looking at them down the edge of his finger, which he had shaped into a gun with the help of his thumb, and his focused squint was interrupted by a smack on his arm. He flashed his partner a wry grin as they chuckled, shaking their head at his “murder noodle antics”, as they’d come to call it. 

“Stop traumatizing the wildlife and eat your fish,” they laughed.

“This looks an awful lot like traumatized wildlife too, you know,” Crosshair answered, picking at the fillet with a fork. “I mean, what horrors did this thing have to endure at the end of Wrecker’s line?”

“I’m starting to feel like traumatized wildlife,” his partner jabbed, grinning ear to ear as they took a bite of their brightly-flavored steamed vegetables. 

“If it decreases any potential reservations you may yet hold,” Tech interjected, “As far as neuroscience has yet been able to distinguish, this particular genus of sea creatures do not possess the pain receptors necessary for the experience of pain with which humanoid species are familiar.”

“Thanks, Julia Child,” Crosshair muttered, a hint of fondness flickering beneath the dry humor.

“If you are metaphorically comparing me to the infamously accomplished chef of the Core Worlds, it is hardly an insult, Crosshair. You are losing your edge.” Tech’s savage burn was delivered at a slightly louder volume than usual, and Wrecker’s boisterous laugh immediately broke through. The massive clone pointed a gleeful finger at Crosshair as he finished his bite between hearty chuckles.

“That one’s gotta hurt!” Wrecker exclaimed, pulling his hand back as Phee smacked it away. 

“You tryin to resurrect the grumpiness? Come on, big guy. Think it through,” Phee said playfully, arching a sharp eyebrow at Wrecker, whose unabashed grin remained unfazed despite her mockingly stern correction. “Or I’m gonna kick you out of our house.”

Omega giggled, sharing a glance with Hunter across the table, who gave her a half-smile and wink before turning back to Echo, who was filling him in on the newest developments at his Defense Training Academy.

“I didn’t think it would fill up so quickly,” Echo mused, tearing apart the large fish filet on his plate with his fork. “I guess the Empire’s got everyone spooked, even out here. But it’s a good thing, I think… They’ll be ready to fight if it ever comes to that, but Maker willing, it won’t.”

“They’re doing the same on Pabu,” Phee chipped in, leaning forward to nod at Echo. “Shep’s got a whole daily regimen of exercise, strategy, and drills for any possible scenario he can think of. You should talk to him; he could use your military expertise.’

“I’d be interested to hear what he’s doing,” Echo nodded in return. “Maybe we could make a trip that way sometime soon.”

“Can I come?!” Omega said brightly, tugging Echo’s arm from her seat beside him. “I’d love to see Lyana. I wish we’d been able to stay there.” 

“Me too, kid,” Hunter said with a sigh, leaning back in his chair after resting his wooden utensils on his plate. “But you know trouble follows us wherever we go. It’s better for them this way. Besides, Xylo is pretty much the same–”

“Aside from an entirely different subset of ecosystems and a much larger diversity in flora and fauna due to the greater size of the island, yes… Xylo is similar to Pabu in that… they are both islands,” Tech interjected, wavering at the end as he caught sight of Phee's fondly arched eyebrow directed at him.

“I know,” Omega said, “It’s just hard making friends wherever we go and having to leave them… Jek and Shaeeah, Hera, Lyana… But everyone at school is really nice so far too.” She was so sweet, so earnest, always trying to look on the bright side while still being true to her feelings… Hunter’s heart warmed in his chest as he listened to her thoughts. 

“Yeah, how’s that going?” Wrecker asked. He was the best uncle, ever-vigilant about her experiences on the island of Xylo since they’d made a decent attempt to integrate into society. It had been the better half of a year already, and they felt as though things were just now settling into some faint hint of an established life. 

“I love it!” Omega exclaimed enthusiastically, causing infectious smiles to appear on several of her family members’ faces. “It was the best year for me to join – it sounds like everything before this was all just academic units, but now they’re getting to really live it out and see what they want to do in life!”

“Academic units are highly useful building blocks for success in individual endeavors, Omega,” Tech reminded her. “Or for saving one’s life when careening toward the earth at fatal speeds in cargo containers…” he smirked, enjoying his own dry humor for a moment before falling silent. Phee was the only one who caught the slight flash of a frown at the corners of his lips and the way he subconsciously rubbed his thigh – echoes of the pain of the past. 

“I know, Tech, but I’ve been studying everything, and now it’s time to actually do stuff! The forestry section just wrapped up, and this week I get to start shadowing Madame Dreyfus – she’s a seamstress who dyes her own fabrics! I heard that if I do well, she might let me make my own outfit for the Advancement Ceremony at the end of the year!”

“I’m sure you’ll do great, kid,” Phee said confidently, smiling warmly above the table while her hand joined Tech’s beneath, gently placing it on top of his where it rested on his thigh. 

“Maybe you could make Wrecker something to wear so he has more than two shirts,” Crosshair suggested, squinting at his brawny brother, who rolled his eyes, unfazed, and brushed a few crumbs off his open-chested brown tunic.

“Maybe you could make Crosshair some pants that aren’t so kriffing tight so he’s not acting like he’s got a wad of fabric up his–”

“Language, Echo,” Hunter growled, and Omega wasn’t the only one who enjoyed a hearty chuckle.

“You know I hear worse than that at school,” she giggled, eyes sparkling with delight as Echo gave her a wink. 

“I know…” came Hunter’s answering grumble, and Omega reached across beneath the table to give his leg a little tap with her foot, watching his face soften as their eyes met.

“Anyway,” Echo continued, “With the number of sign-ups at the DTA, we’re going to need some other instructors and guides soon. I don’t suppose any of you are interested in donating some of your time and expertise to whip these locals into shape?”

“DTA?” Crosshair’s partner whispered.

“Defense Training Academy,” he murmured back, rubbing an idle hand up and down their muscular arm. “It’s what the cool kids call it.”

“Then I will definitely not call it that,” they snickered, and Crosshair smirked as he turned back to Echo.

“They’re gonna need more time before they can handle anything I’ve got to teach them,” he said. “But I’d pay good money to be able to watch them fight Wrecker for sport. Er, practice.”

“That’d be fun!” Wrecker laughed, smacking his closed fist with his other hand. “Gonna have to wait though. I’m swamped with projects after the last mudslide. Everyone wants things added or changed to their rebuilt homes so it’s all takin a lot longer.”

“They’re keepin you busy, huh?” Phee asked, knowing that Wrecker loved every minute of it. He’d never had the opportunity to put his skills to use outside of his service to the Republic, and she’d been privy to many a conversation filled with his enthusiasm for craftsmanship. It helped that he was able to lift and move most everything by himself, too.

“Yeah! Now if I could just get Hunter to stop freaking out the locals when he’s out huntin,” Wrecker said, narrowing his eyes at the Sergeant, who smirked and shrugged.

“Look, the whole island is open access. It’s not illegal. Besides, I think they’d be complaining a lot more if their favorite meats weren’t available at my shop anymore…”

“That’s for sure!” Omega chipped in, wearing a wry smile. It struck Hunter in that moment just how much she had changed in the short time they’d known her. Especially since the Tantiss rescue, where they’d successfully extracted her along with Tech and Crosshair before blowing up the entire facility and everything in it, her face had gotten more angular, her hair longer. She was wildly intelligent and had an enthusiasm and warmth that was unmatched, but as she’d grown, they’d had their share of conflicts. Hunter couldn’t relate, having had his entire life planned out for him as soon as he’d reached “adulthood” with his rapidly-accelerated aging, but there were endless nuances to a young woman that he was having to figure out as they went along. Sometimes he forgot how much she was aware of – she’d been so sheltered from certain realms of civilian life, but having nestled into life on the island, she’d become much more connected and “up with the times”, so to speak. She continued, a glimmer in her eye now, “I heard some office ladies talking about you the other day!”

“Yeah?” Hunter asked, squinting at the mischief on her face.

“Yeah,” she echoed, idly rolling the last piece of sushi on her plate. “One of them said she loved your butcher shop and that you’ve got the best meat on the island,” Omega said slowly, face straight as a board. “The other one said she couldn’t agree more, and a third one said she hasn’t been to the shop but would love to have your meat in her mouth.”

Echo choked on his drink, Crosshair’s toothpick fell out of his mouth, and Wrecker exploded into a guffaw that sent the sea birds tumbling through the air before quickly regaining their graceful hovering. Hunter pressed his lips together, focusing his gaze on Tech’s completely impassive face to try to stabilize himself before replying.

“You’ll have to point out the third one next time I take you to school,” Phee said quietly, nothing but innocence painted across her features. 

“Seemed like an odd way to say it,” Omega muttered, twisting her mouth to the side, and Hunter genuinely couldn’t tell if she was pulling his leg or not. 

“You will find that there are many nuances to speech specific to geographical and cultural areas that might make one phrase sound entirely different than it would in another place. I would not worry about it. The point is that we should congratulate Hunter on his successful business,” Tech suggested, speaking loudly over Wrecker’s continued laughter.

“Yeah,” Echo agreed. “He sure is satisfying his customers…”

“Apparently not all of them,” Crosshair prodded, and his partner elbowed him again.

“Moving on,” Hunter said emphatically, “Wrecker, when can you fix the chimney? Winter will be here soon and I can only keep it so warm with that draft…”

“Yeah yeah,” Wrecker said, waving him off amid residual chortles. “I’ll come by this week.”

“Taungsday?” Hunter pressed.

“Mmm, Centaxday maybe. Taungsday is the “Grand Re-Opening” at the tiki bar. They got new freshers! Supposed to be all fancy now.”

“Anything would be fancy compared to the pits they had,” Tech sniffed. “While wildly inconvenient for relieving oneself during a raucous night of imbibing, they could have been permanent fixtures in the cultural museum considering how primitive and dated they were.”

“I’m sure the locals would be thrilled at that exhibit,” Phee affirmed, rising to her feet to begin clearing the table. The Primeday tradition of dinner at Tech and Phee’s had been one of the first things everyone had agreed on, and in the months since they’d arrived on Xylo, it had been the grounding activity each week that allowed them to feel a sense of belonging and routine. 

Everyone got up to help clean up except for Wrecker and Hunter, who lingered behind to finish their drinks. Tech had not only developed an interest in cooking, but had also discovered quite the knack for mixing drinks. He couldn’t stand the local tiki bar down on the beach, insisting that their proportions were all wrong and they were using nothing but cheap garbage to try to make as much profit as possible. However, considering the beautiful waterfront location and the fact that it seemed to be the main gathering place for the entire town, no one seemed to mind quite as much as Tech. 

“Headin out early tomorrow?” Wrecker asked, swirling the liquid in his wood cup.

“Mhm,” Hunter answered, mimicking the movement before taking a sip. “The Kod’yok are migrating and the locals love their flank steaks. You good to walk with Omega?” 

“You betcha, although she’s getting old enough that she probably doesn’t need it anymore, ya know…” 

“I know, but let’s let her be the one to suggest that, eh? I don’t want her feeling thrown out on her own in a new place. Plus, we can never be too safe.”

Wrecker sighed. He’d been able to let go more quickly of the paranoia that still seemed to rest on Hunter’s shoulders, although he was aware of the crippling responsibility the Sergeant felt for all that had transpired, from Crosshair being separated from the squad back on Kamino to the rescue attempt that had cost Tech his life, or so they thought. Recovering the rest of the team had been a harrowing fiasco, but they’d emerged victorious… barely. 

They’d found a planet in the middle of nowhere, uncharted in most of the records Tech was able to find, and it had been a welcome respite from the increasing turmoil across the galaxy that accompanied the spread of the Empire. Xylo was similar to Pabu in its feeling of safety and anonymity, unknown by virtually anyone outside the island, and there were a handful of other similar islands scattered across the rest of the planet, most of which was covered by water. Xylo was the largest island on the nameless planet and had so far been a good place for everyone to settle.

It was late by the time everyone had finished their cleaning and conversations, and Hunter was the last to leave, thanking Phee again for her usual hospitality as she disappeared around the corner with a wave. Tech saw him out, pausing on the doorstep to fiddle with one of his pouches.

“I finished this today,” he said, handing a small bag to Hunter. “It will function excellently anywhere on the planet. I can assemble others if you feel a need, but I believe our existing comm devices suffice.”

“Thanks, Tech. One is good for now. I appreciate it.” And with that, they went their separate ways.

~ Master List ~ Next Chapter

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[justash02]

Womanizer; 07

A/n; lemme know if you have feedback! It’s always welcome! So are Requests! Text me! I’m nice:> THIS IS BEN, CLAIR AND ADAM BTW^^

Plot; Everyone who knew who Tom Kaulitz was knew that he was girl crazy, he's very well known for having girls around him all the time.

Pairing; Tom Kaulitz x fem reader.

Previous chapter -> next chapter.

Master list

Taglist<3

Ps; I was so high while writing this hope it’s good at least lol

*^*^*

The night went on pretty smoothly, Bill stuck by Clair and my side for the night as did the rest of the boys.

Tom on the other hand was nowhere to be found, at one point I asked if he even came along and Bill thinks he might have just gone home.

Adam and Ben were also nowhere to be found but I really couldn't care less.

"Yeah do you remember when Tom was asked to be in the shot with Y/n and Adam just complete lost his shit?" Clair said laughing drunkenly hitting Gustavs arm.

"Babe he wasn't there." I laughed as she corrected herself by turned to the black haired boy.

"Yup, 'Can't believe that little shits gonna be with my Y/n!'." Bill mimicked, "Can't believe he gets to hit it before I do!" Clair said in the same tone.

I couldn't help but feel the alcohol hit as I started laughing uncontrollably, "No way he said that." I blurred out before throwing another shot back.

"Very close to it tho, homie wants to hit it." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "If he has feelings for me he can come to me and stop being such a bitch about it." I said.

"Who has feelings for you?" I heard a familiar voice say, my head shot to the side to see the boy that I was kissing so nicely a few weeks ago. Fuck he was looking so good.

"Hey Tom, we thought you left." Georg said as Tom plopped down on the couch. He put his hand over his crotch and leaned back into the couch. I couldn't help but let my eyes flicker over to the placement as I felt my thighs heat up.

"Nah, was getting sucked by some girl." He said carelessly, "Bitch kept biting my dick though." He said chuckling. Georg shook his head but still gave him a fist bump to feed Toms ego.

"Probably deserved it." I said boldly, Clair looked over at me with slightly widened eyes as she let out a giggle.

Tom looked over at me, he leaned closer and placed his hand on my thigh, he gently rubbed the skin before leaning closer to my ear, whispered; "I was imagining it was you"

Current state?; deceased.

Before I could say anything someone familiar approached the table, "Yo!" Ben yelled loudly over the music as he sat on the couch next to Georg.

"Where's Adam?" Clair asked taking a slip from her drink, I didn't fail to notice that Tom's hand was still on my thigh but now it didn't feel... sexual.

It feel more as a comfort.

"He said he was gonna go home with some girl." Ben said taking a slip from Clair's drink without even asking making Clair roll her eyes before snatching it back.

"Oh? Dry dick getting some pussy?" Tom said surprised making me hit his arm with my free hand, "What?" He asking with a smirk.

I just shook my head, laughing a bit. “Can we dip? I’m so tired.” Clair complained leaning against Bens shoulder. I nodded went to stand up, “Wait we can’t go.” Ben said quickly stopping us in our tracks.

“Adam has the car.” Tom groaned loudly behind us, “Such a dumbass that dude.”

“Can’t we call him?” Clair asked blurring out from the alcohol she has consumed till this point. “Nah we’ll be traumatized for life. I don’t wanna see our leader fucking some girl.” Ben said shaken his head violently.

“We can bring you guys home.” Tom suggested standing next to his twin now, “Yeah but Y/n and Adam share a room.” Clair pointed out.

“Why don’t you guys come to our house?” I looked over my two band members looking for their input, “I’m fine with it.” Ben said smiling at the others.

“Never would I have thought I would have a sleepover with Tokio Hotel.” I said chuckling grabbing my bag from the couch, “Lucky you.” Tom said winking at me.

I laughed waiting for the rest to grab their stuff and walked over to the cars Tokio Hotel bought with them.

And indeed Adam did take our car, “Why did you even give him your keys, Ben?” Ben shrugged his shoulders, “Like Tom said, his dry dick needs some pussy.” Tom give him a “bro” hug.

“I like this dude, he gets me.” I couldn’t help but grab onto Clair for support, “I think you drank too much babe.” She softly spoke, gently pushing some hair out of my face.

“You two look cute together.” I heard Bill say, “Do you go both ways Y/n?” I heard Georg ask me curiously as he opened the car door for us, “As long I fall in love with them, gender doesn’t matter anymore to.”

He nodded and went over to grab me from Clair but Tom quickly pushed him away from me, Tom’s hand quickly went over to my waist and slowly guided me in the car.

“Do you have some blankets in here tommy?” I asked wrapping my arms around myself trying to keep myself warm. He shook his head, he seemed to think for a second before throwing his jacket off and laid it over my shoulders.

“Is that better?” He asked grabbing the seatbelt in his hand, I nodded before grabbing the seatbelt from him, “I luckily can still do that.” He nodded, waiting for me to be done. As soon as I was he nodded his head once again before smiling at me. He walked over to the drivers side.

“We’ll be there in a few minutes.” Georg said as Tom and bill started driving in the other car.

And Georg wasn’t joking when he said we would be there soon, blame it on my drunken state but I definitely didn’t notice sitting in that car for more then a minute.

Bill and Tom both parked in their garage and helped us out, I stopped in my track making Tom look at me confused.

“Feels like we should at least tell him where we are…” Tom tilted his head before holding out his hand for my phone.

“Lemme text him.” Too tired to disagree with the boy, I handed my phone over to him and boldly put my arms around his waist making him smirk a bit, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders before tapping around on my phone.

After a few seconds the boy handed me my phone back to let me read what he said;

“Adam, we are at Tom’s if you need us.” I send send not really caring and looked up at Tom making him grin back a bit.

“Want to sleep in my bed?”

“Are you going to be in it?”

*^*^*

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[darling-i-read-it]

Not Fun Dreams

Dalton Lambert x fem!prophet(esc)!reader

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings: insidious 5 spoilers, some angst, canon level events/violence (descriptions of the readers visions as violence and never being good), shared trauma, a lot of unedited fic lol 

Author’s Note: This ended up a LITTLE LONG good lord lol. I just kept going! I hope you enjoy love, it ended up being a little less angst then I wanted to have some sort of preunderstood relationship. ALSO i made up the art school dalton goes too because I couldnt’ find the name or remember if it was mentioned. When will this movie be available to watch whenever i want smh. Anyway, enjoy!

Requested: by anon, your dalton fics were amazing and if you’re still in the mood to write for him i got an idea! dalton with a prophet esque reader. maybe not full out but maybe they have dreams or in certain places they can see what will happen there but doesn’t get the full event ( mostly negative/horrific things because this is the insidious universe and nobody can have nothing). id imagine they’d be more reclusive than dalton because even though they’re both obviously very traumatized reader constantly has to see these horrific things and not know how to stop them. knowing possibly from a young age where you and the people you love will die. the trauma bonding. the protectiveness. imagine the drama if she knew the whole time he could astral project and didn’t tell him, like being childhood friends and going to the same college as you saw something in a dream (one of the dorm scenes) and are trying to prevent it. i’m an angst girlie through and through and this movie made me worst. please don’t feel pressured to write at all, and i hope you have a great day/night! 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

When you were a kid it was much more simple. It made far more sense to you when your imagination was stretched as far as it could go. It was clouded by the guise of childhood, never knowing what was supposed to happen and what wasn’t. You figured that when you went to sleep and pictures flipped in your head piercing like a migraine, everything was normal. Your parents told you it was just dreams, even when the dreams started to get darker. You saw flashes of people’s faces, drenched in fear as they faced something unknown. The nightmares got worse. You insisted they weren’t nightmares. Children dealt with weird things all the time. 

It helped when the boy next door flew away in his sleep. 

Everyone must have these little gifts then right? All the children had a perk that slightly scared them, one they told their friends about that their parents didn’t pay much attention to. 

You’ll never forget the day Dalton moved. He left the house he had grown up in so that his parents could move somewhere bigger, somewhere to raise the new baby. You remember his little face, matching yours. You had never had a friend you cared for so much. It felt like the world could be taken on when you were with Dalton. 

“Are you sure you have to go?” you asked, quietly. You knew the answer to the question, even then. You had had an awful nightmare the night before. You had seen flashes of Dalton in bed, tubes surrounding him, IV’s in his arm. 

“My mom says so,” he muttered. You were hunched together in the corner of his house. Now empty, it seemed much larger. You didn’t like being in places that seemed to be experiencing change. You saw enough change. 

“But I’m worried,” you whispered. “Something might happen to you in the new house.” Your voice was hushed. Even then, you knew it was no use in telling his parents. No one would believe you. But you had to warn him because if anyone trusted you, it was Dalton. 

“Maybe it’s just another one of your not fun dreams,” he said quietly. He had gotten used to protecting you from them. You were often shaky when you woke up. He had seen it after a sleepover, cold sweats dripping down your petrified face. “Not one that would come true.”

You had known the lady down the street would trip down the stairs and die three weeks prior. But no one cared to check with the little girl who had silly prophetic dreams. 

“But what if it isn’t.” You pouted, a genuine pout. Dalton put his hand on yours, in a way only children could do. The most innocent of gestures. A sign of good faith. 

“I’ll be okay.” Even then he didn’t believe his words. He had been wandering further and further out in his dreams. You told him to stop, that it scared you. He insisted they were nothing like your dreams. His weren’t real. 

“You ready to go guys?” Josh Lambert asked. He walked up behind you, carrying a book at his side. 

“You’ll call right?” you asked quickly, suddenly overcome by emotion. Dalton nodded eagerly. 

“We’ve got your number, don’t worry,” Josh assured you. “We won’t be that far, right Dalton? Just down the road.” Dalton wanted to disagree but he didn’t. He just nodded, not ready for you to leave his house. Not ready to leave it himself. 

“I’ll call everyday,” Dalton promised. 

After a couple weeks he stopped calling. Your parents wouldn’t tell you why. Just that he couldn’t come to the phone. You could see him in your dreams, desperately lost and you had no way of helping him.

-

You woke up with a start. 

As you grew up the dreams started to become less violent. They were always violent in nature but sometimes you could wake up and not feel panicked. You looked at your bedside table, the orange bottles staring back at you. Some were for panic attacks, some were for general anxiety, some to help you sleep. You debated taking one, wondering if you could stick it out for the day. The thought was quickly dismissed. 

You had dreamt of Dalton. 

You hadn’t dreamt of Dalton since you were a kid, since you lost touch. The memory of it became so blurry over time. There was no way you could have blamed him for it. In hindsight you blame your parents and the cycle of time. You went to different schools and there was no reason to stay in touch because you couldn’t ever see each other. 

You grabbed your phone off the side of your bed. You hadn’t seen much. 

Dalton. Older, taller, handsomer. A full man now, though you weren’t sure why you were surprised. A school, the name of the school just barely on the tip of your tongue. You wrote down everything you remembered furiously. The feeling of dread. A familiar creeping of darkness that you couldn’t quite place. Your dreams were sporadic. Whatever you had dreamt of could still be months out. 

You got out of bed and walked down the hallway. You were packing for school yourself, eager to leave by the end of the week. The car was almost packed with most of your things. 

You reached for your parents phone book. They kept it beside the fridge, even though it was ancient and most of the numbers were outdated. You had given them grief about it before. Everyone had numbers saved to their phones now, what was the point of a phone book?

You ate your words as you flipped through the pages, looking for Lambert. Sure enough, both Renai and Josh were separately listed. You reached for your phone, trying Renai first. 

It rang for a while, leading you to believe the number might’ve been wrong. Then there was an answer and a kind voice spoke on the other end. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi! Is this Renai Lambert?” 

“This is her. Who is this?” 

“Hi Mrs. Lambert! This is kind of weird but my name is Y/N. I used to be friends with Dalton when we were kids?” There was a beat of silence and then a laugh, one you remembered well. You had always liked Renai. She was endlessly kind, always offering you lemonade when you came around. You could still hear her playing songs on the piano while you and Dalton ran around their house. 

“Y/N! Oh goodness, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Why are you calling now?” You smiled, happy she remembered you. 

“I just randomly dreamt of Dalton last night and hadn’t seen him in years. I was wondering if he still lived with you or if I could talk to him?” 

“For sure! Gimme one second.” She moved away. You could hear a muffled call for Dalton. The phone returned to her ear. “How have you been?” 

“I’ve been good! I’m going to art school at the end of the month,” you offered. 

“Really? So is Dalton! Oh, here he is!” There was a moment as the phone was passed along. You cleared your throat. 

“Hello?” 

“Dalton?” There was another beat of silence. You thought maybe he didn’t remember you, which would be slightly awkward. You would have to re-explain everything before he would even believe a word that came out of your mouth. Then he spoke. 

“Y/N?” You let out a breath of relief. 

“Yeah.” He scoffed and you could picture him shaking his head in disbelief. 

“What’s up? Are you okay?” Still the same protective boy he had been when you were kids. 

“I had a dream about you last night and I wanted to call, see if you were okay.” Another moment of silence. You wondered if Renai had left the room.

“A not fun dream?” he asked quietly. You nodded, looking down. 

“Yeah.” You could hear Renai in the background. 

“She’s going to art school too.” 

“Really? Where are you going?” 

“Western. Not far from home, at least, where home used to be.” 

“Me too,” he breathed. “Who would’ve thought?” You bit the inside of your cheek, wondering what it would be like to be back with Dalton again. You had never felt so understood like when you were with him. 

“When do you leave? We should meet up for lunch.”

-

Dalton Lambert had gotten tall. You noticed that first when you saw him. He stepped right out of your dreams and onto his dorm room flooring. You had just missed Josh who had eagerly scurried away. Your parents had left you too. Now you and Dalton were finally in a place where you could hang out away from adults, which was a weird feeling when you were together. 

He had texted you his room number and you knocked on the door. When it opened, he hugged you. It wasn’t awkward or weird. In fact, it felt like you had finally come home. 

“How are you?” you asked. 

“I’m okay,” he promised. He ushered you in. “I’d be better if you told me what your dream was about.” You shook your head. 

“It was just you being here.” 

“You have good dreams now?” You shook your head. 

“That’s the whole thing.” He gestured for you to sit at his desk or at the empty bed beside his. You sat down on his bed anyway, putting your feet up to your chest like you were a child. “I don’t. But I remember feeling bad when I woke up, like something was coming.” You looked over at him. “How are you? How are your dreams?”

He paused for a moment, like he was glitching or buffering. You tilted your head. 

“Dalton?”

“My dreams are fine,” he answered finally. “Not nearly as interesting as yours.” You nodded slowly. That wasn’t exactly the answer you were expecting to get but you trusted him to open up when he was ready. “So do you think somethings gonna happen?” 

“I don’t know. I think I’ll know more later,” you promised, though you only half believed it.

“The last time you dreamt about me I went into my coma,” he said quietly, cautiously. He opened up to you quickly, knowing what it was like to be friends with you when you were a kid. There was something so special about being known before you even knew yourself. 

“I know. That’s why I found my parents' phonebook and called your mom.” 

“At least you’ll be closer this time around,” he suggested. “You’re welcome to hit me in the head if I start drifting off when I’m not supposed to.” You laughed gently. 

“Good to know.” You looked up at his wall. He had started to put drawings up. His mom was in the one above his pillow, at her piano. She looked just like you remembered her. “How is she?” you asked. Your eyes scanned the room. “Oh man, how is Foster? Cali?” 

“Good, good, they’re all good,” he promised, laughing a bit. “My parents got divorced a couple years ago. My dad is slightly losing it.” 

“As all dads do.” Your eyes scanned the wall. There was a picture of his brother. Another of his grandmother, who you only met every once in a while. Above her was a picture you recognized. It was you. You when you were a kid, in a room you no longer remembered. “Is that me?” He cleared his throat. 

“Your call had me looking through pictures.” You glanced at him, smiling a bit. 

“I loved your house so much. It was like a second home to me.”

“It was a first home to me.” You rolled your eyes. 

“We have so much to catch up on. Tell me everything. I have nowhere to be.”

-

Dalton’s room became a second one to you. It was serendipitous, moving from swapping houses to swapping dorm rooms. The transition felt comfortable and seamless. His roommate Chris moved out because she was a girl so you mostly got the room to yourselves. 

A couple weeks in, he started to have nightmares. Nights where you recognized the look on his face when he woke up. It was the same look he had after he had wandered too far, daring you to go with him. When he woke up he looked just like a kid still. Big wide eyes, confused. 

You sat on the spare bed. Dalton had fallen asleep half an hour before but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave. There was nothing wrong with just falling asleep there. You had done it before and you would do it again, waking up to his alarm for his early class. 

You laid your head down on the pillow, scrolling on your phone. The night had fallen, indicating that you should let yourself drift off into sleep. You raised your head a bit, wondering if you could easily find one of Dalton’s shirts to wear to sleep instead of your uncomfortable day one. You should’ve asked him before he fell asleep. You stood up lazily, rubbing your eyes. The room was only illuminated by the nightlight at Dalton’s side. He had fallen asleep with a pencil still in his hand, his sketchbook still out on his side.

You groggily slipped the pencil out of his fingers, putting it on the desk. You grabbed his sketchbook, looking at what he was looking at. It was still just lines on a paper, soon to be something beautiful. You put it aside. You were about to turn around when he woke up with a start. 

He lifted his head completely, almost ramming into you. You jumped, startled. 

“Woah!” you exclaimed. He was breathing heavily. He looked up at you, eyes wide. You met his gaze, almost positive what had just happened. “Did you wander off?” 

“What?” 

“In your sleep. Did you project?” He was silent for a moment, still trying to catch up on whatever it was going on in his head. He didn’t say anything for a second, staring at you with bewildered eyes. “Dalton?” 

He finally opened his eyes up to speak but was cut off by a loud screeching. You put your hands over your ears, wincing. The fire alarm was going off. Dalton scrambled out of bed, looking at the door. He rushed forward, pushing it open. 

Down the hall, all the other students were leaving their beds. Most were still muddled with sleep, wearing nothing but their pajamas. You peeked your head out behind him. He grabbed your arm and started to bring you down the hallway to the stairs. It was too tight for everyone so his grip was iron tight, weaving through the confusion. You pushed through the door to the stairs, moving with the herd down. You glanced back, trying to find the source of the confusion. 

You emerged outside into the night. It was freezing. The group dispersed into the courtyard, everyone looking back to the building you had just left. You brushed against Dalton behind you, who had finally let go of your arm. You couldn’t see anything in the building, nothing to indicate a reason everyone was leaving. 

“Do you see anything?” you asked him. He shook his head. 

“No.” You shivered, suddenly very aware of how cold it was. 

“Maybe it was a drill,” you suggested. He nodded slowly, not wanting to argue as his eyes scanned the building. 

Someone was yelling something in a megaphone you couldn’t make out. You tried to find the source of the voice to no avail. 

“What are they saying?” 

“False alarm,” he said, like it wasn’t a question. You furrowed your brows. 

“How can you hear that?” 

“I pulled it,” he said, finally. You turned around to look at him. 

“How? You were right there with me the whole time.” 

“I did it in my sleep.”

“If you knew it was a false alarm, why did we come out here?” 

“Because I wasn’t sure.” His voice sounded far away. You looked back at the building, completely safe in the backdrop of the night. You turned back to him. His look was dreary and unreadable. “You should probably go back to your room,” he said, voice still far away. You tried not to take that badly. It just seemed random. 

“Okay,” you said quietly. “Are you okay Dalton?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” You nodded slowly. People started to pass you, going back inside. 

“Want me to walk you back up?” “I’m okay,” he assured you, some of the life returning to his voice. 

“Alright…I’ll see you tomorrow?” He nodded quickly and started to walk into the crowd. 

-

The next morning you woke up in a daze. You couldn’t quite remember what happened the night before, all of it glossing over your memory like a blur. You grabbed your phone off the side table, your roommate still snoozing away. You had a text from Dalton and a text from Chris, his old roommate. 

Taking Dalton to that frat party tonight. Wanna come? 

You opened that one up first. Dalton at a frat party? You almost snorted. You hadn’t been back in his life for very long but it didn’t seem like his vibe. You opened Dalton’s text next. 

Sorry about last night. Had a weird dream and woke up weird. 

You texted him back immediately. 

No worries. Are you really going to the frat party tonight? 

Almost immediately a little bubble showed up in the white box. You laid your head back down on the pillow. It felt like you had only taken a nap because of the weird in between moments. A text came from Dalton. 

Supposedly. Chris wants me to go. Do you wanna come? 

You glanced at your calendar. 

I have a test in the morning, I think I’ll pass. Thanks for the invite tho :) Try not to get too drunk! 

You opened Chris’s texts back up too to answer her as well. As you were typing out your response, Dalton texted you again. 

Are you sure??? I could get lost, drunk and suggestive. Who would protect me from the onslaught of potential girls? 

You rolled your eyes harder. 

Chris will! 

You turned off your phone to get ready for the day. 

-

You sat on your bed in your dorm room. Your eyes were dropping off to sleep, phone down on your comforter, computer open as you looked at reference pictures. Your sketch book was open, though it didn’t have anything except the bare bones of some sort of idea. You hummed to the music coming from your phone, mind wandering from your work. 

Your roommate had gone to the same frat party as Dalton. You were by yourself tonight as the sun dropped. It was becoming more clear that you just wanted to go to sleep tonight to wake up rested for the test. You picked up your phone, pursing your lips as you tried to decide if giving up homework was worth it for the night. You had no new texts from Dalton or Chris except a picture from Chris’s phone of the two of them there. You smiled a bit. Dalton looked awkward and out of place. It was good that he was branching out. 

Finally you set your things aside. There was no use in trying to do any more work when you were still catching up on sleep from the night before. 

As you placed your head on the pillow a simultaneous pierce through your skull erupted. You grabbed your head at the familiar feeling. Usually you only got visions when you were asleep, waking up to some sort of horrific memory. 

A bathroom. It felt cold, like ice, like the ground hadn’t been stepped on by humans in years. A boy was there, his face shrouded by the toilet. He gripped the sides but his hands didn’t look real. Something was wrong with him. You couldn’t tell what it was. The sound of the door opening, a creek, a sudden stop. 

You dug your nails into the skin on your forehead, willing it to stop. It had been so long since you were awake when this happened. 

Before it subsided you could see Dalton in the doorway. The dread returned, the same dread you had when you were a kid and he was moving away where you couldn’t protect him. You let out a breath that you had been holding. Your hands were shaking. 

Usually you wrote down what you saw, quickly jotting down things you could remember. Typically nothing would stand out for you to take immediate action. This time you jumped out of bed, quickly putting on slip on shoes. You were wearing shorts and a hoodie, clothes to sleep in, when you ran down the stairs. You had never been to the frat the party was at tonight but there were still fliers everywhere and you assured yourself you would find one. 

Thankfully, right on the pole outside of the building was a green poster with the address. You knew where Greek Row was, not more than a five minute walk from your dorm. You turned towards it and started to run. 

By the time you got there you were already exhausted. You crashed through the door, entering a chaotic scene. There were people everywhere, ramming into each other, sloshing drinks on people’s clothes, too drunk to care. You scanned the crowd. You pushed through people, to the staircase. There were people hanging out there, leaning against the railing, leaning against each other. You walked upstairs, searching for a bathroom. The doors were mostly locked. 

You ran right into Chris, leaving the bathroom. You peeked inside but it wasn’t the one from your vision. 

“Woah! You decided to come after all! What are you wearing?” 

“Where’s Dalton?” She gestured to a door down the hall. You rushed towards it, almost tripping over yourself. You swung the door open. Dalton was on the ground, half under the bed, face filled with fear. “Dalton!” He snapped his head back up at you and then back in the air. There was nothing there. “Did you..did you see that?” 

“No.” 

“There was something-” You fell to your knees beside him, helping him out from under the bed. 

“What did you see?” 

“A kid in the bathroom. There was someone in the bathroom and he was-”

“Dead.” Chris emerged at the door frame. 

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Have you been astral projecting lately?” you asked him, voice low and serious. His eyebrows furrowed. 

“Have I been what?” You stared at him for a long time, unsure what he meant. Maybe he just didn’t want to say anything in front of Chris. 

“Dalton come on.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said and he felt honest. He grabbed your hand, willing you to believe him.

“When we were kids you could walk around in your sleep. Your soul left your body or whatever.” You paused, trying to read his face. “You don’t remember?” 

‘No,” he said, honestly. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Chris repeated. 

“We should go,” you said quickly. “We’ll talk back at the dorms.” You helped Dalton up. 

-

Though she protested, Chris left the two of you alone in Dalton’s dorm. The explanations coming out of his mouth weren’t something she trusted and she trusted you to make sure he went to bed alright. Though she did feel bad for dragging him along, unsure if the drinking had something to do with his abnormal reaction. 

“We have to call your parents,” you said as he sat down at his desk. He shook his head. 

“I can’t.” 

“Yes you can. They know what happened here and why you don’t remember it.” You hadn’t known everything about Dalton being in a coma but you didn’t expect him to remember nothing of it completely. He detailed not even remembering being sick. They moved into the new house and then the rest of the year was nothing but a blur. 

“I wouldn’t believe you if I hadn’t just seen it,” he breathed. You grabbed his phone off the table, opening it up. “Wait-” 

“No wait. We have to call your mom. She’ll know what to do.” 

“But this could just be something completely normal. You said I could do it before I went into my coma.” 

“And then you went too far, Dalton. I don’t actually know how far too far is but I know you’re already too close to it.” You held up the phone for him. “Call her.” He looked at you, eyebrows knitted. He looked at the canvas at his desk, completely covered in black, a red door created at the edges. There was something at that door he couldn’t remember anymore. He set his jaw and grabbed his phone. 

“I don’t think this is gonna help.” 

“Put it on speaker.” 

The phone rang for a moment but no longer than that. Renai answered quickly. 

“Hello? Dalton?” 

“Hey mom.” 

“It’s nice of you to call,” she said, half jokingly. “How are things there? Are you settling in nicely?” 

“Yeah mom, that’s not really why I called.” He gave you a look as you sat beside him eagerly. “I’ve been having these dreams and Y/N said you might know something about that.” 

The line was silent for a moment. 

“What kind of dreams?” 

“I can see my body when I leave it. Like I’m walking around in this other world.” 

“Is Y/N there?”

“Right here Mrs. Lambert.” She paused again. The tension seeped from the phone. You met Dalton’s eyes. 

“Mom?” 

“Maybe I should just come up there and talk to you in person. Can Y/N stay with you until I get there?” 

“What? Mom, you don’t need to come all the way up here.” Shuffling came from the other line.

“It’s too hard to explain over the phone. I’ll be there in the morning.” 

“No, mom.” He took a deep breath. “What happened? Tell me now.” His hands were wrapped tightly around the phone. He had grabbed your hand. You couldn’t remember when. 

“You and your father don’t know,” she said quietly. “We made it so that those memories were suppressed. I don’t know how it came back.” She shuddered. “When you were in the coma you went somewhere Dalton. For three months, we lost you.” 

“Where?” 

“A place called The Further.” Her voice was gravely serious. He stared at the ground. The name sent shivers down his spine, like all that repressed childhood fear came back. “You got lost there and things tried to take your body. Your dad went back to find you and…something else came back instead of him.” Dalton looked at the door painting on his desk. 

“How do I stop it?” 

“I don’t know honey. I’m coming down.”

“What about dad? What if he’s going through this too?” 

“I’ll get your father. We’ll come together.” Dalton had nothing to say to that. It must be serious if they were going to stay together for a long period of time like the drive up to school. “Stay with Y/N.” There was a beat. “I love you Dalton.” 

“I love you too mom.” 

She hung up the phone. For a long time you just sat there in silence. You hadn’t ever gotten those answers before, the ones you had only gotten glimpses of when you were a kid trying to sleep. 

“I remember the demon trying to get you,” you whispered. “He was dark…with red,” you said. “I had nightmares about him for months. I kept seeing him get closer and closer but no one believed me.” 

Dalton looked over at you, his look unreadable. 

“He’s trying to get me again,” Dalton muttered. “I can feel him.” 

You shook your head. That was the last thing you wanted to hear. You stood up, letting go of his hand. 

“This is bigger than us. There’s this whole other world and you’re going to it and it’s so close-” 

“But if I don’t go to it then-”

“Are you gonna stay awake? Forever?” Dalton shut his mouth. “Repressing the ability didn’t work so what else is there to do but enter the place?” You shivered. Just the memory of your visions sent chills down your spine. “I haven’t seen the demon recently. I’ve just seen you.” 

“Maybe that’s a good thing.” You nodded. You paced, unsure what to do with all the fear in your body. “We just have to wait till the morning, then my mom will be here.” You both knew that might not solve anything. Still, you nodded. There was nothing else to do but wait.

 “I’m staying here with you.” 

“I don’t wanna be alone anyway.” He shook his head, voice far away. This dorm had started to become a safe haven, despite the places your brain went when you were asleep. It felt much better than your own dorm with the roommate you hardly knew. You’d likely be getting a text from her in the morning, wondering where you were again. 

You sat back down on Dalton’s bed. 

“Are we gonna try and stay awake all night?” He shook his head. 

“If I wake up I’ll just stay right where I am.” 

“That sounds easier than it will be.” It was already late, nearly midnight. You were tired and your heart was starting to slow down now that the problem didn’t seem as pressing. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes but it didn’t do much.

“Are you ready to sleep now?” he asked. You nodded. 

“I really thought I was gonna go to bed early tonight. Looks like I’ll be skipping the test in the morning.”

“I don’t want you to do that. I’ll be fine by myself.” You shook your head. 

“No way. I’m staying here until your parents show.” You yawned. “But I should probably go to sleep soon.” He glanced at the bed on the other side of the room. He knew you would go there automatically if he didn’t say otherwise. He couldn’t exactly explain it but he would just feel safer if you were closer to him. 

He could explain it but suddenly that feeling was scarier then wandering off into The Further. 

“I’ll take that b-”

“You could sleep with me.” You raised an eyebrow at the suggestion. Without so much as a beat you answered. 

“Okay.” He let out a breath. You got up. “Scoot over then.” He looked up at you and your willingness to be so close to him.

“I’ve gotta change.” 

“Then change.” He stood up, walking to his drawer. He shuffled around in there for something acceptable to wear. Usually he just wore his boxers and a shirt but suddenly that felt so revealing. He could see you in the corner of his eye, getting under the covers and getting comfortable. 

You tried to pretend it wasn’t a big deal to you that he asked even though your heart was in your throat. 

“Don’t look,” he said. You made a dramatic gesture of covering your eyes. He took his shirt, facing away from you. You peaked between your fingers, admiring his back as he quickly slipped the other shirt back on. When he undid his belt you covered your eyes again. 

“You can stay awake,” you offered. He turned off the lamp on the desk, leaving only the nightlight. He moved the blankets aside so he could sit beside you. 

“I’m exhausted from finding out my memory was erased.”

“It sounds so dramatic that way.” 

“What would you say?”

“Hypnotism.” He put his head against the pillow, facing you. It was rare you were at eye level. 

“That’s dramatic too.” 

You sat there in silence for a moment. You hadn’t seen his face so close to you since you were kids. It was just like the sleepovers you had when you were a kid, just a little less innocent. 

“Are you scared to fall asleep?” he asked, voice a whisper now.

“Sometimes. Tonight I am. I don’t wanna dream about you.” He should be feeling awkward, being so close to you. Instead he felt more comfortable than ever. 

“Then don’t.” 

“I’ll give it my best effort.” Your eyes were so heavy. They closed without you even thinking about it. 

“I’m gonna be awake a little longer. I think I’m gonna sketch.” 

“Okay Dalton,” you whispered and it sounded so incredibly childlike. He sat up a bit, leaning against the headboard. He grabbed his sketchpad off the table. You nuzzled your head into the pillow. “Do you mind if I use you as a pillow?” you asked quietly. 

“No. Not at all.” 

You moved forward a bit and then your head was on his lower chest, arm over him. He put his hand over your back and suddenly sketching seemed much less important than making you comfortable. 

“Goodnight Y/N.”

-

Neither of you had set an alarm. 

Renai and Josh showed up early at 7 the next morning, the sun still slowly coming up. Renai knocked on the door, antsy to see her son. She had explained everything to Josh on the way over. He was pleased to find he wasn’t crazy. 

The knock went unanswered. She took a deep breath and knocked again. 

“You don’t think it’s unlocked do you?” she questioned. Josh tried the doorknob. It opened with ease. They shared a look. 

The other bed was still unused. Laying in the other bed was you and Dalton. You were on his chest, a pencil lazily in his fingers. He was hugging you with both arms, cheek pressed against your head. 

Renai couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. 

“They’re okay,” she whispered. Josh nodded. He wanted to smile at the sight. It felt right. 

“Should we wait for them to wake up?” 

Renai couldn’t help but feel unhappy when Dalton slept. Even years later, whenever he slept in, she was checking on him constantly. 

“They’ll understand.” She approached him, sitting at the edge and nudging his shoulder. He groaned. He was okay. He was there. You nosed your face further into his chest. 

Neither of you had any nightmares that night. Your sleep was as black as it should be, consumed by each other's arms.

[rainiishowers]

hey, I loved the reaction you wrote for when the mc did the exhange program as a child and then came back to meet the brothers again a few years later

I was wondering if you could write something like that for the dateables as well?

it's totally fine if not though, no worries <33

A/N: Hi! No problem at all, that was one of my favourite requests, so I’m happy to do another one :3 (Hope you don't mind me adding Luke lol)

Scenario: MC came to the Devildom as a child exchange student and touched the hearts of all the boys. However, they didn’t stay in contact with any of them after the year was up. 10 years later, a certain human calls Barbatos and invites The Royals and the Purgatory Hall Trio to meet up with them in the human world

Genre: Fluff

Content: GN! MC (They/Them), partner uses They/Them as well, platonic relationships between boys and MC, angels age slower than humans, Barbatos has ✨dream visions✨ Brothers Ver.

------ Diavolo

Naturally, the prince was ecstatic that MC even still remembers him (it is pretty hard to forget someone like the literal demon prince), much less wants to meet up again. He will absolutely get a bunch of things that he remembers MC liking, constantly sending them pictures and asking for their opinion to ensure they still do, so it isn't really a surprise gift. He tries his best to focus on his duties, he really does, but it is pretty hard to when you get to see the human that you missed after 10 years in a few weeks. First thing this man does when they all see MC? Give 'em an inescapable hug that he will not stop until he realizes that MC is a human and does not have the lungs of a demon. Diavolo is very happily asking how MC is, and listens like a proud father when MC recounts life events (and offers words of praise whenever the life event they described was challenging, like “you’re very resilient for being able to face that”, etc).

He’s happy MC found love and introduces himself warmly to their partner. He’s not overtly threatening, because he does trust MC to date good people, but he does keep some tabs on the partner.

Barbatos

He was expecting the message because he had gotten flashes of the reunion in his dreams, so it didn’t come as a total shock to him, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit happy about it, despite the trouble MC had caused him in the first exchange program. He told everyone in a timely manner and was busy working to ensure nothing was destroyed while Diavolo and him were gone on the days leading up to the visit. (Thankfully Lucifer reassured him that the brothers would keep anything too drastic from happening).

Has to (gently) pry Diavolo away from hugging MC to ensure the human doesn’t die. Will make pleasant small talk with MC, asking how they are, what they do now, etc. He’s glad to see how MC matured despite there being a year in their life where a lot of very traumatizing or negative things happened. Despite taking a sort of break from his butler duties, he still very much prepares some tea and desserts he brought to the human world, unable to break away from the lifestyle of serving people before relaxing.

Upon meeting their partner, Barbatos will remain calm compared to the brothers. He's lived long enough to know that they aren't of any threat, so he doesn't worry about it too much, perhaps might even introduce their partner to new desserts and such things

Solomon

Let’s be real, he probably went to the human world to protect MC from any harm on many occasions, probably even talking to them sometimes. For the purpose of this, let’s say he had interacted with them in the past, he does tell the others this, feeling slightly smug about it.

He’s says how much he missed them despite literally talking to them a few weeks prior to the meet up, subtly asking questions that will get them to talk about things he remembers talking to MC about, and being like “oh yea! I remember that!” He offers his input on occasion. He has seen how MC matured but that doesn’t stop him from teasing them, and sort of treating them like a kid.

Has done extreme background checks on MC’s partner and deduced that they are no harm to them. He’s glad MC found someone they admire and share affection with, perhaps would share some (odd but teachable) anecdotes about his experiences in love

Simeon

When Barbatos invited him, Luke and Solomon to go to the human world to visit MC, he was surprised, yet excited. He suggested Luke bake and bring some pastries MC liked, perhaps getting a gift for them himself if they like to receive them.

Lingers in the background as he waits for an opportunity to speak. His joy is much more subtle than Diavolo’s, but the hug he gives clearly shows how happy he is to meet with the human again. Simeon teases MC just a tiny bit with Solomon, engaging in the playful banter, but makes sure Solomon doesn’t tease too much.

Surprised and delighted to see MC’s partner. Introduces himself warmly, and is slightly amused at how they seem so confused with his angelic warmth. Encourages Luke to offer a dessert to their partner. He doesn’t catch onto anything sinister, but he might ask for Barbatos’ opinion about MC’s partner later.

Luke

While in a baking lesson, Barbatos tells him about an opportunity to talk to MC again, and he is ecstatic, probably seeming like he was on a sugar high to the outside eyes with how much he was bouncing off the walls before focusing all his attention on the pastries Barbatos and him were making, before starting to make other various pastries he made with MC. He was still a bit young due to angels and humans having vastly different aging patterns, but he was still excited to show MC how he improved.

Brings a basket full of treats all cutely wrapped up. Probably the most thrown off by how MC aged much quicker than him. Looks at Simeon in confusion like “how is MC so much taller than me???” Other than that though, happily shows off his newly acquired skills in baking while catching up on all the things he missed with MC.

With his own personal development, he had learned to not be so distrustful of people, so he kind of just mimics Simeon’s actions while greeting MC’s partner. He probably pulls MC aside later to ask some questions purely because he’s worried, but MC assured Luke that he just needs to get to know their partner more.

[that1-storyteller]

Every Little Experience <3

BLLK Boys (mainly Karasu) x ???? reader (Fem!)

Warnings: Foul language, uhm I’m not sure yet I’ll just figure it out along the way. Gory descriptions, heavily traumatized reader, biases against guys, sarcasm lol.

Blue lock. Two words. Two little words, and behind them was an opportunity of a life time. Uncle Ego Was hired by a woman he called Anri-Chan, to make the world’ s best striker. You may not know much about the sport, but you knew this was huge.

Ego always included you any anything he did, in some way or another. Though this was by far the furthest he’d ever gone to involve you.

You were going to work in blue lock with him. As his assistant. As great as it was to build up experience as a sixteen year old getting into tech and psychology, Ego was…less than ideal to work with. He was demanding to an absurd degree, great, right? In the end, he is your uncle and provides great experience and opportunities. It, in the long run, was worth it.

But you pissed him off, so your first day in the eerie ass building, you were stuck doing maintenance checks and cleaning. Fuck. All you did was rig his noodles…wasn’t that serious, damn… and karma was pretty instant with that prank, you tripped on the rug and face planted immediately after the trap was set. Your poor eye. Bruised on your first day of work.

Now, like the soon-to-be candidates of Blue Lock, you were stuck living there. You were allowed to have your phone, you had your own room, bathroom, etc. It was fairly nice compared to what you observed what the candidates were being treated with. You also, depending on how many tasks you did and how well the job was done, got to pick your meals. Courtesy of your uncle. You got to come in a few days prior to decorate your space as you wished, go over the rules, learn the layout, etc. It was an uncomfortably large building, to say the least.

The biggest rule, or at least the one Uncle Ego and Anri-Chan emphasized the most was,

Limit your contact with the players.

Easy enough. You had no interest in a bunch of (most likely) stuck up, narcissistic jocks who only care about soccer. To be fair, here they were literally fighting for their futures that revolved around soccer, it would be understandable to be desperate and focused, no? Like rats in a cage, attached to a man’s face with one side lit ablaze. Desperate, scared, and tearing into each other just to survive. A raw instinctual thing, really. Always enjoyable to observe…

Well, anywho, not people you’d want to interact with.

So here you were, setting each and every room to be perfect, all because Ego was petty over a prank.

Last quarters, team Z’s. Each sleeping bag was perfectly laid out, the bathrooms organized, towels folded. What a shame it would be, hard work waisted on slobbish boys… sigh. They’d be here tomorrow, and the experiment would begin. Hurray!

…

Your alarm blared in your ears, the sun rising, though you couldn’t see it. No windows, how unfortunate. You sluggishly dressed, very casual clothing for today, you decided. You threw on leggings and a large hoodie, putting on a smidge bit of make-up as well. It fit the occasion. Today you’d be greeting the candidates and handing them their…uniforms? Outfits? You weren’t sure exactly what to call those uncomfortably skin tight data collectors. The word would come to you later, you were sure.

This was the only time you were allowed to purposely converse with the subjects- er hmm, “diamonds in the rough”, as Uncle Ego called them. In your eyes, they were kind of like lab rats. Soccer gods in the making, was a nice way to put it. Poor boys didn’t know what was coming, you felt….only slightly guilty to be apart of their torment. Only slightly.

…

Through the doors they charged, a large herd of brawny, muscle-headed, boys.

“Anri-Chan, I don’t particularly wan’t to be the one to take their phones. It’s like taking crack from an addicted drug dealer, bad news. I fear they’ll bite me, males my age are a bit peculiar, no?”

Anri laughed, finding your bias against guys hilarious. As well as the way you spoke, so odd for a sixteen year old. So amusing to her.

“Y/N! They won’t bite! God, what, do you think they’re wild animals?”

“They may as well be,”

She snorted.

Guy after guy retrieved his suit and info. Many grumbling about the rules, some refusing to giving up their addiction device. After some fierce battles and trickery, they gave it up. Willingly or not. Then navigated their way to their rooms. A sweet looking boy walked up, eyes wide with …maybe it was anxiety, or just uncertainty? You couldn’t tell, maybe a mixture of both.

“Hello Miss, I’m sorry but I don’t know where I’m going, I’m not great with direction. Could you help me? Oh god, am I being a bother? I shouldn’t have asked, I’m so sorry!” He was so quick to panic…

“Hey, hey, don’t fret, you aren’t a bother dear. It’s my job to help, let me guide you,” You baby talked him a bit, it oddly felt necessary with his anxious, meek demeanor.

You waved to Anri, letting her know you’d be gone, and walked with the anxious boy. He was muscular, obviously so. You found humor in how anxious he was for someone who could’ve easily beat the ever-loving crap out of anyone. He had short brown hair and eye-catching forest green iris’s. You found them lovely. They were large and noticeable, very cute. If only he’d stand straight, with correct posture he’d be tall, definitely would help him in the long run. More attractive, even…

“What team are you assigned to, dear?”

“Team A, I-I’m Tokimitsu, by the way…” He stumbled over his words, his nerves messing with him oh so obviously. He fidgeted around with his fingers. Poor guy probably needed therapy and meds.

“I’m Y/N, nice to make your acquaintance, Tokimitsu-sama. What led you to be here? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

He ranted a bit, he seemed to loosen up after you gave a conversation starter. He kept spewing soccer facts like it was his job, very cute. His love of soccer was impressive, but so would be everyone else’s. It would have to be, to end up in Blue Lock. You listened to him ramble as you showed him to his team’s room, adding your thoughts here and there.

…

Every so often people would catch your eye, their hairstyles, accents, outfits, posture, etc. Many unique and out there, those of which you loved to observe. Though, the comments from the tall, tan, blonde guy with pink ends were definitely not necessary…soccer perv.

Someone who really caught your eye, was a purple haired boy. He had a cute mole by his eye, hmm. You couldn’t find a perfect word to match it with. Made you feel weird, in a pleasant way. He was tall, as were many of the participants here, an air of confidence clung to him. Though, you had a feeling… mmm… maybe you were overthinking him. Over analyzing. When he spoke, oh when he spoke…sharp, intellectual, pleasant, hell it soothed a part of your brain you didn’t know needed soothed. Oddly everything about him tugged at your heart. What the fuck. He wasn’t even really polite, his gaze seemed judging. The same gaze you laid upon other people. The people you often deemed boring and a waist of time. Now on you. The look, about to title someone mediocre. You knew it, so similar to your own… He was so….interesting. Made your brain buzz with thought mere moments after laying eyes on him. If you were to struggle to not converse with any candidates, it would be him. Your brain wandered to the wonderful conversations you could have and analyze. Oh, and his eye’s fought yours as well. You thought Tokimitsu’s were nice, but this boy’s took lovely to a whole new level. Breath taking. Enchanting, if you dared. His hair reminded you of something, you just couldn’t think of it at the moment…a certain animal. Hmmm.

“Hey Miss, why should I hand over my phone to you, you don’t look particularly responsible. What if you lose it, or damage my property? Hm?”

You blinked and snapped out of it.

“I’m only following orders. If harm were to come to your addiction device of devil, then you’d be fully repaid. You’d receive a new device as well as money.” You gave a slightly irritated smile. Though he was charming, he’d be a pain in the ass. Much like how you imagined how doing his hair in the morning was. “Please hand it over, sir-“

“Tabito Karasu,” He interrupted.

“Mr. Karasu, then.”

He handed it over and you gently placed it in the bag, so he was reassured it was fine. Though, you suspected he didn’t actually care all that much.

“You certain you’re qualified to work here?” You’re sure he’s referring to your casual outfit, sure it wasn’t fancy like Anri’s but why would you get dressed up to greet a bunch of lab rats? Hm?

“Very.”

Oh, what an interesting experience this was going to be.

Pt.1 |Pt.2 Coming soon!|

[bi-kisses]

I'm not anywhere close to being a parent, but I have a baby nursery Pinterest board, and I used to try to keep it 100% gender neutral, until today I suddenly realized that I literally couldn't care less. Why should it matter if my theoretical future daughter's room has flowery wallpaper when she's too young to have a preference, or if my son's doesn't? They won't remember it anyway. I feel like we've been conditioned to see GNC people as so fundamentally different from the rest of their birth sex that giving a toddler the wrong color teddy bear could traumatize them for life. In reality, most people aren't 100% one way or the other, but nowadays if you're slightly more one way you have to make it your entire identity. It's so annoying.

I want to clarify that I'm not advocating for traditional gender roles. I'm just saying that kids can end up not liking anything you choose for them. I could design an aquarium themed room, but once they're old enough to talk they might ask me to change it because they're terrified of the ocean. No one would tell me I'm abusive for not predicting this phobia. I don't see why "gendered" designs are treated any differently.

----------

I think the issue is in the insistence of girls being associated with flowery things and boys being associated with sporty stuff, rather than parents just making a room they think looks nice.

If I ever had a kid, I probably would want them to have an aquarium themed room cuz I love the ocean lol but that's unrelated and also I'm not having kids

Decorating your kid's room isn't abusive, enforcing gendered stereotypes and dissuading non conforming interests is, with sexist room design only being a symptom of a larger societal issue. If someone gave their baby boy/girl a flowery room because they love to garden and think it would look nice, sweet, but if they insist on giving their GIRL flowers and their BOY soccer, that's an eyebrow raiser.

[mejomonster]

Justice in the dark, ep 7 and 8:

Crying screaming I am fulfilled in life in a way I didn't think I would be. In a month or 2 I suppose I'll feel this way even more. Wow ;-; anyway it's like. It's like Beyond Evil but I know for a fact they're 2 bitches in love. And they have a juicy history of caring too deeply for each other for years which is the cherry on top of this deluxe Sunday and my sweet tooth isn't strong enough but I'm devouring it anyway. Feel absolutely spoiled rotten. Must be what Fei Du feels like when Luo acts Like That. You know. Now not Everyone wants "murder mystery psychological thriller a la Flower of Evil with a core Queer Romance between the leading heros" but that Is an Ideal thing I deeply desire. So I am having a ball. The best time. A better time than I ever thought could be had. It's like if Flower of Evil was gay idk what to tell you. Do you want gay Flower of Evil or do u dislike horror so much u can't do it? Fair enough if you can't but for those of us who DO eat up murder mystery thrillers and have been wanting some bigger queer romances in the mix we already dearly love? Having a phenomenal fucking time. This show IS that kind of story, that kind of genre. It's made (I suppose similar to written) for the people who really do want a fucked up psychological thriller murder mystery to sink deeply into and get terrified and angry and theorize and suspect and not be certain and be on edge wondering Discovering thrilled. With a fucking superb defining bond between the leads (of love <3 yes I'm a mushy sap) to top it all off. Like I said, like Flower of Evil style show with queer leads. It's certainly what I Want in the world. I want 20 to exist 40 60 100 so many we can't even watch them all!!

Anyway now down to tinier specific stuff lol.

The birthday scene just <3. Wrecked Me <3. I needed it to last forever. It reminds me of every specific reason for me that I ship them so much, care about them individually and together so much. Just hit me through the heart and squeezed the whole time. Fei Du in the accident and Luo Wenzhou running worried because it's his fei du in danger and Fei Du will never fucking KNOW Luo wenzhou was so worried, probably called the ambulance and rode with him, all the way up into the doctors visit Fei Du WAS awake for. Then in a very pangzi from dmbj move, Luo Wenzhou laughed. He laughed because Fei Dus dad was in a car accident and the similarity could've scared or traumatized fei du (hell much less couldve - and later Luo notes Fei even jumps from cake so Luo is AWARE his boys on edge). He laughed because it's comforting, warm, safe, no one yelling no one trying to kill him just stupid Luo making his stupid jokes irritating Fei SO much he'll glare and tighten his smile in annoyance and start thinking "I'm gonna kill you Luo Wenzhou shut the FUCK up i am GOING to kill you" so Fei Du will stop worrying. A pangzi from dmbj move to make himself the punching bag and tell stupid jokes to make a deadly situation seem safe and something they're in total control of and therefore their loved one Fei Du doesn't need to worry. And of course on another level it's Luo doing everything he can to lessen his own short term fear - he was so scared fei would be like feis dad in a car accident. So he's laughing in fucking relief, his boy is just slightly injured. He's laughing to shake off the panic he had earlier, to move on past it and drag Fei into moving on too. It's so sweet. And Fei Dus internal monologue with every annoying cunt think Luo Wenzhou says that day is surely "I'm going to KILL you old man shut the FUCK up I'm gonna kill you" but in that way that's like no fei won't kill him ToT he'll just shout it at him and give him stares that are especially for King of Annoyance Luo on this earth.

The sell him off ToT. Fei Du playing back. Them both being little shits Just absolute bastards to each other. I love that stage of their enemies constantly Snipping to THlS finding a way to do both argue in Feis safe zone and actually get along. Fei jumping at the cake and it being so raw. Because fei du probably doesn't show he gets frightened to other people but Luo sees it. He also lets Luo surprise him in a way he lets few surprise him. It's just all so sweet. And Luo again in a very pangzi from dmbj way makes a light joke of Feis response revealing how terrified he often is, to smooth it over so Fei Can relax quickly again. Luo Wenzhou is home to Fei Du, and rhis whole sequence was like Fei Du the rebellious teen coming come again after a journey out of the nest growing up (which I suppose it kind of was). It was fei du being taken home, being welcomed so he KNOWS he's allowed back into this. That when Luo got mad at him as a teen, he didn't mean to scare Fei away, to isolate Fei, and that Fei is welcome to belong here and live here like when he was younger. That this entire place belongs to Fei Du even when Tao Ran isn't here to "let" him into Luos world (because usually since their conflicts when fei was younger Tao would be an intimacy buffer - especially at homes, fei du goes to Tao Rans but not Luos house, Luo and feis recent private meetings have been part by chance and part Luo intentionally trying to reach out more in public places). Fei Du is being told you're allowed here without Tao Ran. I accept you as is, with anything you've done or are doing now, this is your home and I'm sorry I scared you away and you had to return to the mansion where dinner was never as pleasant as this.

I am so Glad the dinner was awkward. It was true to character. And so unique to their personal dynamic. And I love their dynamic in part so much because it Really is specific. They aren't strangers who met and fell in love. They aren't god/ghost ghost/human (shen wei and zhao yunlan to be fair have a bit of a unique thing going on cancyou tell I love unique ones ToT but overall like. The shared history. The crime that fucked them up. The tumultuous relationship through the years, the vulnerability and honesty and CARE. The influence on each other. Again I gotta say while Flower of Evil is DIFFERENT in a ton of ways in its romance, the main couples romance is also fairly unique at times and you think to yourself "of course these particularly intense niche people fell for Each other... it never could be anyone else, they never would have clicked like THIS with anyone else. No one would be this endlessly in love with them through all of This and keep trusting and keep Trying to understand each other." Idk how to describe just. Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou really appeal to me and there's so much to explore and I feel this birthday dinner was a tiny fraction displaying that.

And the flashback Fei Du had during dinner. The day he felt the place was no longer home anymore. The present afterwards where Luo IS trying so hard to fix that past distance. And fix it with no buffer this time, no Tao to soften the blow like he used to. Luo is being vulnerable and open and if Fei Du HAD wanted to lash out and attack the dinner would have been the best time to say something or do something like "blame" Luo for not caring or suspecting the worst of him or not trusting him or abandoning him and Genuinely possibly get the chance to totally burn the bridge of their relationship. But Fei Du doesn't. He doesn't lash out at the increased intimacy. He opens up and talks about himself, civilly, vulnerable and letting that vulnerability increase of his own choice (rather then Luos presence sort of pushing for it and his usual response to shut it down by saying cruel things). It's a lovely step forward for both of them in both trying to take their relationship a step closer. Slightly more trust in each other, more openness to share without Luo using the caretaking ordering to push fei du into staying in the convo or fei du lashing out and saying cruel things to Try and push to get out of a condo.

You can see it after. Luo accepting Fei Du offering help. Luo bringing him along (fei du trusts Luo more without lashing out and gets treated more like an equal instead of a child, being treated more like Tao Ran - like a partner who CAN be brought to a crime scene, can help, can offer unique talents to help, is worth listening to, and can take care of himself getting home later without being scolded). It's interesting just a bit that he is getting shifted toward being treated more how Luo treats Tao Ran. Fei also actually smiles back and says his own version of goodbye when he's dropped off, another good sign they've crossed into closer relationship territory then their prior holding pattern. Fei Du now trusts Luo enough to potentially Share his thoughts without being pried and without trying to run from it or fear Luo will abandon him about what he might share. Luo is trying to treat Fei Du like an equal, not like someone he's responsible for as a caretaker but someone he just genuinely cares About like a partner, and so he's not throwing his age around as a threat of authority so much as a joke to make Fei feel familiar and comfortable.

Genuinely so curious how this show will handle them as they start flirting. I keep expecting a scene where Fei Du brings the police team delivery food.

I love that Fei Du has his private investigation going on. It makes him feel shady a la a Beyond Evil character lol. I know he's not up to pure evil or anything but it's fun to me that Luo Wenzhou is aware Fei Du has a tendency toward doing this kind of shit but is not personally involved and clearly there is someone out to kill Fei but that's not on the whole groups radar necessarily.

I've mentioned it before but I love this particular case from the book and loved how terrifying it was in live action and it looked how I pictured and memories flooded. I remember it was the first time I felt priests writing scared me like horror like some Stephen King novel. The live action scene, where fei du comes in and says "where's the bad guy" and he uses his words and looks at Luo to come up with a plan to deescalate was just phenomenal to watch. Again it felt Iike a piece, a moment of seeing into their dynamic and the depth of their knowing each other and WHY they make such an excellent team. Why it's them that has to be partners. Why (as much as I love him) Tao Ran can't be endgame for one of them. Fei Du is a little off center and varies how unhinged he is by the situation, and he Gets kids like these. The girl who's a hostage and needs anything no matter how absurd, to be saved. The girl who may well have killed other little girls, and he has let his mind wander where hers has or has Feared it turning into something like it, and knows what he'd want to hear. Knows what he'd do if he were her in that moment and can't let her. Knows in a way Luo Wenzhou and Tao Ran just aren't going to. And Luo Wenzhou bends his own rules so much FOR Fei Du, will bend his view of the world itself to accommodate that he loves and cherishes Fei Du and NEEDS fei du safe and happy in his world. Luo Wenzhou (in the show) is being fed this show premise that people with zero empathy tend towards harming others (which when the show later says they kill animals etc sounds like it's just a stand in word for psychopath maybe? It seems to be a stand in for either handwaving real people with low empathy or feelings without actually using real world terms Or a standin for just "people who harm" with some fictional excuse). It's clear the narrative is framing anyone as capable of crime since some people they catch do not have the "no empathy gene" but still did cruel things.

But anyway, framework of the show is Fei Du is like the lead guy in Flower of Evil or Shaw from Person of Interest. And Luos being fed that those people inherently do monstrous things. And he is told that, fei says his dad is one and so is he. Feis held a dead bird when Luo found him. Feis lashed out about that fear by claiming he'd kill or hurt people presumably like fucking weekly when he talked to Luo and got too emptionally vulnerable. But Luo Wenzhou let's it go one ear and out the other. Even if Fei Du killed an animal, even if he does want to kill someone in revenge Genuinely like the dad who killed the person he thought kidnapped his daughter? To Luo Wenzhou his Fei Du is an innocent boy who grew up in immense pain and he just wants him to be safe and live a good life he likes and lives a long time in. To Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du is ALWAYS worth engaging with, hearing out, giving the benefit of the doubt. Because when he was a child, when it mattered, Luo wenzhou disappointed him by failing after hearing fei du out and trying to investigate for him. Scolded fei du for trying to do something himself, because he didn't want fei du to BEAR that and didn't want him to be stuck in the past unable to heal (but lmao fei du was going to stubbornly hold on until he can fix it anyway). For Luo Wenzhou if Fei Du acts unhinged and is about to run over 5 men? He'll think the guy has his reasons, remind Fei Du his life is worth so much he is a treasure if he ends his life by throwing away his opportunities it's not worth it. For Luo Wenzhou if Fei Du says act like this kidnapper Su is the victim? Luo wenzhou will snap quickly into playing along. He'll trust Fei Dus lead. They're both a bit off the deep end in some regards and because of that it suits them to be together. To work together they just click better for each other than any other partner would.

Just that scene really was the first taste of Fei Du's social skills and manipulation he can bring to the table in cases and really excel at. The car chase showed hes competent in an action disaster. And in isolation we know he's smart and investigating privately. But with Luo Wenzhou it's his first real show he can Handle something THIS immense with a life on the line. And it's also so much for Their Relationship and trust increasing further, that Luo Wenzhou trusts Fei Du to be in it. To rely on him during it. It's that transition into equals.

And then the cute bits. Transition to equals includes! Fei Du showing off his manly Superiority with a sports car, with how rich beyond reason the bitch is (Luo you want a sugar daddy who's younger? Fei du is right here for you baby), with his beauty (of course someone would sell me off alas I AM the catch for everyone in this city I AM the hottest u-u you don't even appreciate it), his competence in the actual case which was HUGE (and his little offer when they arrived to help - acts of service and gifts are both his and Luos main love language to flirt). Basically Fei switched from mainly hostility to a sort of middle ground I'm your contrarian but I'm Also such an appealing dating prospect don't you think? Sort of reminds me of Zhao Yunlans early stage flirting and I'm curious again how show will handle this behavior of Fei Dus intensifying. Meanwhile Luo Wenzhou turned his old "listen to me cause I'm your superior" into trying to spin it more positively, also a sort of "look how beneficial I am in your life don't you Want to stay this close and possibly move closer? Don't you -3-" by offering advice (actually the job thing hints nicely toward fei du deciding to study psychology and work for SID soon), driving Fei Du (an old thing he does but now he lets Fei get dropped off and treated like an equal adult), showing the very warm home he's happy and hopes fei du wants to share (look I can cook! My house is cozy and nice! I have your old cat and he's so happy so will you be, look at this yummy food I make, I can even sing happy birthday and spoil you like Tao Ran if that's what you want), generally emulating the somewhat warmer way Tao Ran talks to fei du like he did in the ep 1 car ride. Generally smiling more openly. Luo was already being flirty in some ways since his caretaking style and flirt style both involve acts of service and doting. But he's trying now to seem like a cool, talented, secure guy who appears as a good Prospect.

I'm not sure How aware Luo is he's doing it, as from his pov he could just think he's transitioning from caretaker to "friend" (but friend sure looks like how he treated crush Tao Ran so). But I think on a Level Luo Wenzhou is somewhat aware of how it Could be construed. Because when Fei Du peacocks his own desireable-sexy-guy traits Luo is aware on one level he's being slightly dissed (as usual) but on another fei du isn't overtly shutting Luos attempts down, just offering his own More Lavish attempts. Which again... Luo at this point could see it as Fei Du also just trying to transition from rival/at odds to friends. But it's a Tao Ran more kinda friend than Zhang Donglan kind of friend, and fei dus a flirt anyway toward everyone. And Luo probably on a level knows he better tread Careful cause a brag from Fei one day may become a "come hither" the next and then they're in bed and it's a mess dkdkmd.

Like... for the live actions sake. I'm going to assume both of them think they're just transitioning closer to "friends who tease" instead of this almost parent/child at odds relationship that was buried underneath the love rivals excuse they used to overly care about each other and be Frustrated that they did. But for both of them friends (they both clearly have only 1 other close friend and its crush Tao Ran) of this level of closeness is not something either of them really have outside of each other so it's vulnerable and awkward and very grey area and uncomfortably undefined the longer it goes on. So like... at some point, one would presume the next few episodes (?) One or both of them is going to realize they desire a romantic relationship with the other. Amd at that point at least one of their flirt behaviors is going to crank UP and then the other person will also be aware the grey area has been defined. Defined into the "find a friend hot and would like more". (Which lmao because of Tao Rans bizarre situation romantically wirh both means those fuckers are now doing to each other a much more Competitive Terrifyingly Intimate High Risk version of what they did to him as a proxy).

Again. Love this case.

I will probs liveblog reading of Silent Reading again at this rate...

[pizzapasta23045]

honestly why HAVEN'T I seen anyone talk about that.

The people love their reconciliation, but I do think him being alone with Klee when it happens and then her freaking out until Jean notices or something (as opposed to just diluc making choices of varying levels of medical (in)advisability) would be worse. (I barely remember how the isolation system works lol)

(/j I do entirely get why. I'm just slightly surprised to see the arguably less angsty route that traumatizes less children be more popular /further joke)

Bruh your last joke is FOUL man, like it is FOUL and shit. Why'd you have to do the fandom like that? (You're entirely right)

Also yeah, the Klee scenario is arguably more angsty but people don't care about Klee that much.

How are we gonna make it about the white boy™ that way? We gotta make it about the white boy somehow™

[sehodreams]

when i saw that there’d be an update, i was expecting more trauma.

First, i imagine the reader would WANT to leave the toxic work environment but can’t afford to change companies, and can’t take the risk of asking SM to transfer her to a new group. She isn’t choosing to stay because she “loves the boys” or “loves her work”, but rather, as a min-wage worker, she’s has no choice but to stay. (which is kind of sexy in a dubcon world because duh...no choice but to remain victimized.)

next, i also imagine she behaves slightly differently after the incident. Before, she might go to each member to ask one-by-one if they need things, she’s tend to them individually, but now she’d talk to the whole group at once: “you guys need anything?” “Does fried chicken sound good to you all?” She’d place a cooler on the table, “Everyone, take a water bottle.” This allows her to limit engaging one-on-one with wonbin.

I would also imagine she’d be at least a bit traumatized, and that it’d manifest in ways she might not be consciously aware of: loss of appetite; covered head to toe in layers of oversized clothes, nothing form fitting; putting less effort to her appearance (e.g., less makeup, not accessorizing, no longer painting her nails, etc.). She doesn't want wonbin to think she's pretty because that means he'll violate her again and she wants to avoid that at all costs.

Still, she feels the wounded threads of her heart tear even more every time she /has/ to interact with wonbin. her legs go numb when he passes by her and envelopes her in a waft of his cologne mixed with musky sweat, reminding her of the same scent violating her earlier. she swallows the bitter bile in her throat at every roll call when she reaches wonbin’s name. her hands tremble at the door knob of his bedroom as she prepares herself to wake him up. she wants to tear her ears out when she hears him laugh across the room at something sohee said.

I imagined wonbin the same way you did. He’s a gift and a terror. Sometimes, he does her a favor and treats her like she’s the most forgettable, dull, uninteresting, unremarkable grey wallpaper. He never brings up the incident. He doesn’t seek her attention. He doesn’t make special requests. He complies with her instructions. He up & out of bed immediately when she wakes him up.

Other times, he’s salt on her wounds. After events, as the manager comes to collect some of their wardrobe items, he drops his blazer by his feet, forcing the manager to kneel before him as if to taunt “you belong on your knees”. Or, she feels someone staring at the back of head, and when she turns around to face the eyes, she sees him sitting on the waiting room sofa, nonchalantly splitting an apple with his bare hands and taking a bite of a split half as if to remind her how easily he could hurt her.

as you can see, i’m far more obsessed with the reader than wonbin lol! she’s very interesting to me. i want to bubble wrap her but also kind of want to see wonbin break her will hehe! i love this world/fic that you built, it has inspired so much thought in me

Wow, so here comes an spoiler

So there's actually a whole background to reader's personality too, she's older than him and is working as a manager, but she comes from a lot of minimum wage jobs because, sadly, she had problems and couldn't go to college, and one of the reasons she loves her job is because she actually has been a manager before but THEY TREATED LIKE SHIT, sometimes not even paying her because it was one of those many companies that failed, and when she landed with this manager job she decided to give her best to make it endure and get a better position in the future (she doesn't many options neither). Also, the boys are actually pretty cool with her and she feels a connection because they told her how was their manager before and about their real lives and struggles, and she knows how it is to people to treat you like shit, so she has formed a kind of relationship with them (on her head).

But something i kinda wanted to put after time (and okay here comes the spoiler) is that at some point she realizes that they're just coworkers, not the marvelous idea of real friends she made on her head, and that's one of the reasons after so much suffering, she ends up leaving her job (and after one situation I'll put after). So yeah, we'll pop her bubble.

Ego!Wonbin actually believes he deserves everything in this world, and has found a person that struggled to get where she is, even if it's not far for many, and that feels like they doesn't have much to offer so they're an easy target for people like him. Also, he's trying to make her think that she'll never find someone that wants her like him again, to convince her she has to be grateful, adding that reader is scared of going back to her old life.

Reader's always wore clothes that covered her, she has never dressed to impressed so there's not much to change about her wardrobe.

Still, I love how much you've said, i really like the cooler scene because it shows a clear contrast on the treat reader gives to the boys before and after. AND OH GOD, THE APPLE SCENE, it shows so much how he can hurt her with little to no effort, and i imagine him making a smirk and licking the juices that covered his hand too, slowly, showing her how much he enjoys to break her a little more every time. (If I end stealing your ideas please don't hate me, they're soooo good)

And it's true, it'd be better if she tried to engage less with Wonbin, I've seen there are many ways to deal with traumatic experiences, and the things you've mentioned are really usual ways, i guess i focused too much in the ways I've seen in my life, but you've made such an excellent point, there are things one does without even realizing, the nails are one of them and i can completely see reader losing one of the little things she does to feel better with herself. She has bad problems with self-steem so she never did things that showed, afraid of getting laughed at, however the nails would be such a perfect thing because they're so small not many notice it, but a thing that could be important for her to feel better with herself.

I love your ideas, you have a great mind, i hope i continue receiving your comments because i love the way you think!

And oh god i feel a little bad because i think i ruined the idea of many about how ego!wonbin and insecure!plus size!reader story could've been hahaha

[craig-f-tucker]

On today's episode of "What's Wrong With Robin?": Cyclothymia! Tune in under the cut where I explain in detail why I think Teen Titans Go Robin has cyclothymia or potentially another brand of bipolar!

(ps I'm making this as a mentally ill person with an interest in mental illnesses lol, this is going to be just as much an infodump about cyclothymia as about Robin)

Cyclothymia a subtype of bipolar disorder, involves episodes of hypomania and depressive symptoms which are not qualifiable as major depression. Note that Bipolar I does not require depressive episodes for diagnosis, and that in this situation i am using the slightly less intense diagnosis with the knowledge that because we only see the sides of Robin's life that are funny or that he shows with his friends, he might have further symptoms to elevate him to Bipolar I or II that just aren't shown on screen.

When it comes to the emotional problems that trouble Robin in daily life, he has:

- Intense emotional reactions, specifically strong irritability and intense excitement

- periods of extreme excitement in which he is unhindered by criticism, talks faster, and is often more productive in things that he enjoys and forces the other titans to be too. (This meets the criteria for a hypomanic episode.)

- if this doesn't sound like a problem to you, to quote an actual episode:

Beast boy: don't you ever get tired of being excited about everything?

Robin (excitedly): Yes I do!!! That's why I'm in therapy to lower my blood pressure!!!

- I list these as "periods of excitement" as this is not a constant state, in other situations he switches to being very irritable and angry, sometimes lonely, and often insecure. These are less intense, and he is usually still very focused on work and forcing himself to fight and be vigilant. The lack of a full major depressive episode despite some depressive symptoms and a continued lack of stability is why I ruled out Bipolar I and II right away, but one can still be depressed while being productive which frankly? I think Robin is, he is incredibly stressed and channels a lot of that into anger.

Cyclothymia can occur in any age group but typically starts during teenage years to early adulthood, a category which Robin falls under as a teenager.

Environmental factors that can contribute to developing this disorder are traumatic experiences and prolonged periods of stress, both of which Robin has experienced or is experience (the whole teen titans thing is incredibly stressful for him, not the crime fighting part the monster roommates who bully you constantly and never listen to you part. He canonically became the disaster he is as a reaction to the stress he dealt with just on his first meeting with them, and he still is with them constantly. Sorry for the titans slander, they're not that bad but that doesn't change the effect they have on Robin which is what we're focused on right now.)

In simple terms, here is which of the Wikipedia diagnostic criteria Robin falls under.

"Cyclothymia is classified in DSM-5 as a subtype of bipolar disorder. The criteria are:

1. Periods of elevated mood and depressive symptoms for at least half the time during the last two years for adults and one year for children and teenagers." ✅️, he has been experiencing this through the series, and according to raven, each new rock animal comes a year after the previous, making a ttg season a year. (Don't worry abt the fact that doesn't make continuity sense, cartoon characters don't age. like in canon they're in a cartoon.)

"2. Periods of stable moods last only two months at most." ✅️ He has never been stable for more than like, an episode or two in a row ill be honest. And considering there are 50+ episodes in a ttg year, so even if we round to exactly 50, greater than 2 months would have to be at least 9 episodes in a row of stability. This has never happened.

"3. Symptoms create significant problems in one or more areas of life." ✅️ Robin was unable to form the team he wanted because of his irritability, and is generally unable to handle being in a team because of it. His stress with his life also causes him to lash out at people and hurt criminals when they're not even doing anything. His hypomanic episodes on the other hand interrupt his ability to fight crime, as he will literally not care about potential disaster because he's just so excited and happy and would rather infodump about his interests.

"4. Symptoms do not meet the criteria for bipolar disorder, major depression, or another mental disorder." ✅️ as far as we can see, he does not have enough depressive symptoms to qualify for depression or Bipolar II, and does not experience intense or interruptive enough mania for Bipolar I. Once again though, we don't see his whole life, it is fully possible he could experience those more intense symptoms and thus suffer Bipolar I or II.

"5. Symptoms are not caused by substance use or a medical condition." ✅️ no substance use here, his behaviour is not caused by a medical condition as far as we're aware. (Once again, slightly limited by not seeing his whole life by which I mean not actually being his therapist.)

Call in now for 2 free shorter BONUS explanations of why Robin could have ADHD and why he could have Narcissistic Personality Disorder! (That's an actual offer if u wanna send an ask lol)

[lucky-draws]

You ever think about how Big Boss brought on Miller to be the admin of MSF and Miller looked at this traumatized soldier talking about making a world where soldiers fight for their own causes and not major global powers and his first thought was "money" and how that must hace impacted Big Boss' decisions with the phantom plan to move on once he had to go full in on Outer Heaven?

OH BOY DO I!!!! yeah....yeah......i think the whole question of why big boss was ready to "betray" kaz + all the rest of it is very tasty and what u say here is definitely a factor like..........

kaz' story is so !! because like, yes he is the walking human tragedy who dies alone without dignity etcetera. but he’s not exactly an innocent victim of big boss....you maybe can’t say he brings everything upon himself entirely, but i certainly think that during peace walker he does himself absolutely no favours when it comes to being someone that big boss would want to trust/bother to keep in his plans/not be a dick to later on.

the fact that kaz lies to big boss regarding zadornov/paz etc (even though it was for the sake of expanding msf, the fact that he went behind bb’s back just doesn’t look good) and the fact that money seems to be his main motivation, his whole soldier-come-coked up business shark vibe - all of this shows big boss that he’s a) not fully trustworthy or loyal and b) kind of shallow, or perhaps not fully dedicated to bb’s noble cause of War All The Time for the right reasons.

and also, during peace walker bb is starting to change anyway; he’s becoming darker, less trusting, more ego-driven, whatever. the les enfants terrible project - zero’s betrayal of him - 2 years earlier has already made him more jaded; and after the ai incident, where he decides that the boss had also “betrayed” him and casts off her will completely, he’s well on his way to becoming the nastier figure that he is by the late 80s/90s.

so, when kaz confesses the truth to bb at the end of peace walker - and then goes on his spiel about war becoming a business -  you can see why big boss might take that as a further case of “betrayal”; and later on, after msf falls, be more inclined to leave kaz out of things.

however!! having said that, this isn’t to say that big boss ever hated kaz, or never cared for him, or didn’t think of him as a good partner. we know bb has respect for kaz, (i think he describes him as a true warrior at some point or words to that effect?), we know they worked well together, we know they liked each other to whatever degree you want to imagine, and of course we needn’t go into the beach date or sauna incidence...

but i guess, the problem is that however much bb liked kaz, it was never going to be enough in some ways, because there was always that hierarchical element.

after their conversation where kaz fesses up, the way big boss seems unconvinced or unenthused by kaz’ “i’m with you boss! we’ll see how it turns out ~ together ~ !” , and the way that the final shot is of bb walking off alone to the helicopter, leaving kaz behind so to speak - it all just gives you such a feeling of Doom because you know that,well, big boss is big boss, and while they may have appeared to be a good team together (and may have tenderly fucked under a box once or twice) kaz was always going to be stuck in the role of a subordinate, another cog in the machine of big boss’s Big War Plans, and ultimately left by the wayside.

so yeah........i guess it’s a combination of kaz’ slightly frivolous, money-driven approach to msf, and how he shows himself to be capable of lying, going behind bb’s back, and the fact that big boss was maybe always this sort of self-absorbed (”not interested in other people’s lives”) guy anyway, who became wrapped up in his own goals and was prepared to go to any lengths, even if it meant abandoning a former partner.

anyhow, i guess i could say some more stuff on this that’s not directly related to the question but this has got kinda long LOL so i will waffle no longer, ty for dropping in!! :-) (sorry this took me so long to get to LOL...kept u waiting huh etc etc.)

[darling-i-read-it]

asjzkk i just saw that requests were open

can you please do clingy resi boys with a gn reader? feel free include any you want,, all i request is leon and ethan bc they are baby tysm <33

Hi! I just put my top three this time round cause I’m feeling lazy today lol. I hope you enjoy!

Leon Kennedy

- re2 Leon is a cling master

- he makes it his whole personality for a while to be a gentlemen and also never not be touching you

- he just wants you to know how much he loves you but also don't leave him because then he has to fend for himself and that's just hard

- he'll give you space when you ask but expect a bit of halfhearted pouting

- re4 and on Leon is a clingy disaster

- the boy it going through traumatic events left and right so when he sees you, there's no way in hell you're leaving his side

- it's less of a touching you thing and more of a 'where are you going? why are you leaving the room?'

- Claire sometimes jokes that he's overbearing and controlling which he hates

- he wants to give you your freedom completely

- but on the same hand, he can't really leave your side if he can help it

- even if you're just at a dinner or something, if you go to the bathroom he will too and he'll hang out outside the restroom

- you are clear about your boundaries and he will respect them, even if it pains him slightly

- but most of the time you just let him be his overprotective self and move on

Ethan Winters

- Ethan just...he just loves you

- after what happened with Mia he has no interest in letting you leave his line of sight

- he'll sit beside you with his hand on your thigh

- he'll have his arm around you while you're talking to the neighbors

- even years after the events at the Baker house, having you near him has become a habit he has no intention of breaking

- he just really wants to make sure that you're alright

- he stands up for you at all times

- he rarely lets you leave the bed in the morning, just so he gets a few extra minutes with you

- after the Baker house, he eventually does have to start going back to work and you were only able to take a couple weeks off

- that's the hardest part for him

- he texts you a lot just random tidbits of his day and they're always really witty one liners cause he's just l i k e t h a t

- he tries not to be overbearing

- he just loves to coexist with you

- which means sometimes he has his arms wrapped around you completely

Chris Redfield

- Chris is the only of the three who's embarrassed by how much he needs you near him

- he's lost far too many people to let you out of his sight

- even the simple things like walking down the street makes him nervous if he's not right next to you

- hell, he lost men when he was right next to them

- he just wants to have a strong arm around you, to let you know he isn't going to let anything hurt you

- he really does try not to bother you too much

- but he can't help it if his lips end up on your neck or his hand on your side

- that's just magnetic attraction obviously

- he's a big guy and gives the best hugs so you never mind having his arms wrapped around you

- sometimes you'll have full phone conversations with your head on his chest and his arms tightly around your figure

- he wouldn't want it any other way after all

- if you tell him to back off he will try

- but he makes no promises

[rebeccccccaaa]

TEᑎᔕIOᑎ

_____________________________

ᗩGEᗪ ᑌᑭ!ᑭETEᖇ ᑭᗩᖇKEᖇ ᙭ ᖇEᗩᗪEᖇ

��ᑌᗰᗰᗩᖇY: You and Peter have always been very flirty and touchy with each other. You chalked it up to just how he is, not that you minded. But what happens when Peter gets hit with Hydra’s infamous sex pollen and all he seems to be doing is moaning your name. 

ᗯᗩᖇᑎIᑎGᔕ: smut of course lol 18+ (virgin kink?, first time!reader, experienced!Peter, etc, unprotected sex cuz i forgot to write that lol be safe though, and a digusting amount of fluff) 

ᗩ/ᑎ: (non/dub con as per usual with sex pollen fics) although i tried to make as consensual as possible 

ᗯOᖇᗪ ᑕOᑌᑎT: 4.0k (i’m so sorry this is so long lmao)

_________________________________________

“We’re back!” Tony shouted, his voice echoing in the building. They had gone on a mission to infiltrate yet another Hydra base.

Peter was currently sitting and watching television and you were watching from the kitchen making two drinks for you and Peter. You both looked to the team walking in before scurrying beside Bruce and Tony who walked straight into the lab. 

“What did you get this time?” you asked excitedly. Sometimes the team brings back really cool things back from missions and in particular the Hydra missions have the coolest things. Unusually, Thor too walked in the lab before you all circled around the table and Tony placed a plant. 

He backs away as did Bruce and Thor so after looking at Peter with wide eyes you both also stepped back. 

“What is it?” Peter whispered.

“A plant,” Thor said.

“Not shit, Goldilocks. What does it do? You told us to take home, now what?” Tony said.

“Well, Man of Iron, it’s a sex pollen plant.”

“A what?” you gasped.

“Most planets use this as a sort of breeding plant; some species don’t really have the… stamina that Midgardians and Asgardians have.”

As Thor explained this, Tony and Bruce huddle away from the plant moving towards the computer to write down notes and data about what Thor was telling them. You followed pursuit also being intrigued by it. 

Unfortunately Peter did not follow and instead moved closer to the plant to take a closer look. The flower was beautiful. The petals were a soft shade of periwinkle and the pollen was yellow almost like gold. The same shade of golden yellow dust swirled around the flower itself. It was hypnotizing. He really wanted to smell it.

Suddenly as Peter got closer just to give it a quick sniff, he could smell an almost overbearing amount of your scent. That delicious scent of vanilla and lavender that you smelled so nicely of. That scent that made Peter want to run his hands through your hair and his nose along your neck. 

“One thing you should never do is inhale its pollen, if one does it could heighten their desires into madness.”

Peter looked up with wide eyes knowing he just did something he probably shouldn't have done. 

“What desires exactly?” Bruce asked.

“Well, sex.”

Peter started coughing.

“Pete are you ok?” you asked walking up to him.

He looked you in your eyes and his own dilated insanely. You backed away slightly concerned for your friend only for him to take a step closer to you. The lab coated with silence analyzing his behavior since it was so unlike him. Tony got up from sitting on a stool and Thor puffed his chest anticipating his next move; he was certain the boy breathed in the plant’s pollen. 

“It smelled just like you,” he whispered close to your face; his hands reaching under your shirt slightly.

The minute he put his hands on you, all three men ran you and Peter. Bruce pulled you behind him while Tony and Thor grabbed Peter dragging him away from you. You felt hot after what Peter had just done; in front of people too. He thrashed in Thor’s and Tony’s grasp, groaning and shouting from them to let him go. 

You felt tears brimming your eyes. You did not like Peter like this. He was crying and begging to be with you, which you’ll admit surprised you. 

“What’s happening to him?” you asked from behind Banner.

“The boy seems to have inhaled the pollen as I said not to do.”

“Yeah I get that! Why is he crying? Is he hurt?” you asked.

“Not exactly, the pollen will affect his mind and simulate pain as if he were to die, but his body will be perfectly fine.”

“What?” you all said at the same time.

“How do we fix it?” Tony asked.

“Y/n, baby. Please,” Peter practically moaned making everyone kind of uncomfortable.

“Well, the only way I’m aware of is, well, sex. And it seems like Peter desires the young lady,” you eyes widened and you shifted under everyone’s stares. 

“No, no way,” Tony said; you were like a daughter to Tony and therefore boys were something he wasn’t too keen on the idea of you having. He still thinks you’re too young even though you’re already a consenting adult. 

“Tony, the boy-”

“No, I’m not letting Y/n do that. We’ll find a different cure. Take him to his room and don’t let him out.”

“Tony, are you sure about this?” Bruce asked Tony.

“Yes I’m sure, Banner. There’s no way in hell I’m putting her in that situation. It’s not fair. Now come on, more time talking, less time finding a cure.”

“Technically there’s already a cure,” Thor muttered. 

“Go!” Tony pushed him out. 

“Is he gonna be ok?” you softly asked, hearing his cries and screams for you as Thor took him to is room.

“He’s gonna be alright, bug,” Tony said, hugging you. 

Steve and Nat both walked in the lab after changing out  of their clothes concerned with all the screaming they had been hearing.

“What happened?” Nat asked.

“Thor had us bring this plant home for analysis and turns out this shit makes anyone who smells the pollen horny as hell.”

“Really? Come on Tony, we heard the kid crying and screaming. What’s really going on?” Steve didn’t believe him at first.

“He wants to… have sex,” Bruce said shyly.

“Wait really?” Nat asked.

“With who?” Steve hesitantly asked curiously.

Tony and Bruce simply look at you, which you curled into yourself feeling embarrassed. 

“Oh no, honey are you ok? Did he do anything?” Nat asked, holding your hand.

“I’m fine, I’m just worried about him.”

“Don’t. We’ll fix this I promise,” Tony said getting to work.

Well now it’s been 8 hours and Peter is still crying and moaning your name. You had been in Nat's room with her, Steve, and Bucky. Sam and Thor had been outside ‘patrolling’ Peter’s room making sure he was as ok as he can be, though it’s been proven that he seems to be in excruciating pain. 

Tony and Bruce had been in the lab the entire day, you’d think they made wonderful progress and found a cure by now but no. All they’ve found was normal samples of Peter’s… everything. He was physically perfectly fine. 

You were very quiet as they played video games and watched movies. You couldn’t help but feel burdened because you knew you could fix all of this. All you needed to do was go to Peter’s room and let him have his way with you. It’s not like you wouldn’t mind. You and Peter have always had this sort of tension and extra friendly behavior between you guys ever since you met. 

To say you hadn’t developed feelings for him would be a huge lie. 

“Are you ok?” Nat asked you.

“No, not really.”

“I know you want to help him but it’s for the better. Let Tony and Bruce find a cure.”

“Actually that won’t be happening anytime soon,” Thor said, walking with Sam. 

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“They haven’t found anything and although Peter will be physically fine, mentally he could be extremely traumatized by the time they find something, if anything. The pollen mimics physical pain until sexual ‘needs’ are fulfilled by the person they desire most,” Thor looked to you at the end. 

“I want to help him,” you said.

“Y/n, that’s not fair to you,” Steve said.

“And it’s not fair to Peter if I don’t help! He didn’t mean to smell the flower. I can't just sit here waiting for nothing to happen when I can go in there and help him!” you argued, “If I don’t, he’ll not only hate you for keeping me away from him but me too for not trying.”

“Don’t be silly, he’d never hate you,” Nat said.

“He will if I’m the reason he’s going to be traumatized for the rest of his life.”

“Come with me,” Nat said, holding your hand.

“Nat,” Steve warned.

“Steve, you and I both know this has to happen. They’re adults,” Nat shot back. 

You followed Nat out of the room. 

“Are you absolutely sure about this? Your first time should be special-”

“First time?” your eyes widen.

“Y/n, I know you're a virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin,” you mumbled.

“Really? When was your first?” she poked.

“It was- was in, it was high school,” you stuttered.

“With who?”

“... Tommy?” you said after a long moment of silence, trying to come up with a name.

“Tommy?” Nat smirked.

“Yeah, he was in my history class,” you lied.

“Ok we’ll work on that,” she said.

“On what?”

“Lying.”

“Hey, virginity is merely a social construct made by men who think their tiny dicks have the ability to change a woman’s life. It’s gonna be like a five second pump; I’ll be in and out,” Nat laughed at that.

“Ok, fine. Follow me.”

You followed her to Peter’s room where his moans and groans got louder with each step you got closer. Truthfully you were a bit nervous about the situation. Sure you did imagine your first to be extra special in a dim lit room with flowers and with someone you love. Well, now it looks like it’s going to be a dark room with your best friend who’s in the room driven by magic sex pollen, but at least you love him. 

You got to the door and Peter instantly knew you were on the other side. His senses overwhelmed him with your scent, your racing heart beat. You exchanged a few words with Nat before she hugged you and left you to go into his room alone. 

You slipped inside and immediately met with Peter crawling on the floor to you in nothing but a pair of boxers; a large prominent tent formed where his dick was. 

“Y/n, you’re here,” he rubbed your legs and kissed your thighs softly still on the floor at your feet. 

“Yeah, I am. I’m here to help you,” you said shakily.

“Oh god, you smell so good,” his hand reached up behind your thighs towards your ass and you panicked. 

“Peter wait,” you pulled his hand away. 

“What, baby? What’s wrong?” he too panicked.

“Nothing, I just… I’m kinda scared.”

“Of what? Of me?” he stood up and backed away from you.

“No! Not of you. I’ve never… done this, you know?”

“Y/n, why are doing this then- ugh!” he groaned, a wave of need and sexual frustration rushed over him making his body cramp. 

“I want to help you,” you grabbed his hand; he pulled his hand back very quickly and retracted his body over to the bed. 

“Peter, please let me help you,” you walked over to him.

“No, Y/n. I can’t do that to you.”

You were getting tired of his arguing. You wanted to do this. You rushed to him and took your shirt off hoping that’ll prove a point or something. 

“Look, look. I want to help you, Pete. Let me do that,” you cupped his face making him look at you. 

His eyes were so dilated nearly black as he looked into your eyes. His hands caressed your bare stomach and lower back making goosebumps rise across your body. He leaned forward running his nose along your neck breathing you in. He used every ounce of control he had in his body to not flip you on the bed rail you into the mattress. He had to be gentle. The idea of you never have been touched shouldn't have turned him on as much as it does. 

Your stomach fluttered and you let out a shaky breath. Arousal pooled in your underwear with each move that Peter made. Your hands rested on his shoulders unsure of what to do but thankfully Peter moved your hands in his hair and you gently ran your fingers through his curly brown locks as he kissed and nibbled at your neck. 

He moved your bra strap down your shoulder tracing his lips along your collarbone to your shoulder.

“I'm so sorry, baby,” he whispered against your skin.

“It’s ok Pete, I want to help you. Teach me. Teach me how to make you feel good.” 

He practically growled picking you up and laying you on his bed. He kissed your stomach and left small bites and purple marks littered across your belly. He looked at you to make sure you were ok before pulling your shorts down your legs and off to the side. He continued to kiss up and down your legs growing harder at the small pants and gasps you made above him. 

“I'm gonna give you a little taste, ok darling?” he whispered against your inner thighs.

You nodded and lifted your hips off the bed for Peter to easily take your underwear off. You grew embarrassed at how wet you were. Peter only chuckled before going in a licking along your entrance. You gasped and clenched your thighs together, only to wrap around Peter’s head pulling him closer to you.

This isn’t Peter’s first time eating a girl out so he was obviously quite skilled in bringing you a lot of pleasure from his tongue alone. Now in his twenties, after high school and after his identity was revealed, Peter somewhat tumbled his way into playboy town just like his mentor. 

Girls left and right shot their chance to spend a night in the spider boy’s bed. But when Peter met you, oh boy, the kid fell in love. You were this innocent little thing that Peter just wanted to hold and take care of all the time. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He stopped seeing other women in hopes that one day you’d be out of your mind enough to give him a shot. 

Now here you were, laying in his bed like an angel, letting him have his way with you because he was shithead and smelled the flower when he wasn’t supposed to. 

Your hips squirmed around, pressure building up in the pit of your stomach. You moaned loudly as you got closer to your oragsm. Your hands went to Peter’s hair making him hum when you tugged on his hair. His vibrations pushed over the edge and you came for the first time that night on Peter’s face.

“God that was hot, baby. Are you ok?” he asked, crawling up your body after discarding his boxers.

“Yeah, that was amazing,” you cupped his face, smiling.

He leaned down and kissed you for the first time ever. His hands roamed your almost naked body except for your bra of which you still had on. Not for long of course. Peter leaned back to sit up pulling you with him so you were now sitting straddling his lap. 

You could feel his dick against you and your body shuddered in arousal. His hands wrapped around you to skillfully remove your bra, the last piece of clothing left on you. When he did so you covered yourself in instinct never having been naked in front of anyone before in your life. 

“Don’t cover up princess. You’re so beautiful. I wanna see you,” he whispered, cupping his hand under your chin so you could look at him.

“Sorry, it’s- It’s a lot,” you whispered back. 

“I know and I’ll try to go slow but if I’m not inside you right now I think I’m gonna pass out,” he moaned. 

You looked down in between your bodies to find Peter’s dick big, swollen, and red. You felt bad because you don’t know if it’ll fit inside you and it looks painful. 

“Please, Yn,” Peter had tears in eyes begging for you to take the pain away.

“Ok, I’m ready.”

Peter grabbed his cock and lined up to your entrance. You got up and slowly sank down feeling him stretching you out. With how aroused and wet you were after Peter’s mouth you were able to slide all the way down without feeling too much pain.

Peter moaned when he bottomed out and grabbed your face you kiss passionately. You moved slowly up and down and soon all the pain you felt subsided into pleasure and you too started moaning above him. 

“You look so fucking good riding me, princess.”

His words made you moan even more embarrassed that everyone can probably hear you and Peter having sex. You bit your lip in hopes to silence the moans as much as possible, but Peter didn’t like that.

“Don’t. I want everyone in this building to know who fucking you this good,” he flipped you over onto you back and started thrusting wildly. 

“Let them know what a good little girl you are for daddy. Let them know who’s name you’re gonna be screaming all night.”

“Peter oh god,” you moaned.

“Huh? You like it when I call you a good girl?”

“Yes!”

“My good girl. My little slut,” Peter groaned in your ear.

You were getting insanely close to your climax and Peter’s words only sped up the approach. 

“Daddy, I think I’m close,” you whispered, pleasure becoming overwhelming.

“Let go baby. Cum all over my cock,” he said.

Your oragsm ripped through you and you practically screamed into his ear. Pleasure came over you in a huge wave. Your eyes screwed shut and your legs wrapped around Peter’s torso pulling him impossibly close. Your body felt limp under Peter’s and when you opened your eyes Peter's face held worrisome and frustration. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I haven’t came,” his voice trembled.

“It’s ok. We can keep going,” you said tiredly.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he buried his face in your neck.

“You won’t hurt me, Peter. I promise.”

He kissed softly before gently flipping you over and thrusted into furiously.

Six hours later Peter finally came after you did so nine times; and that was before you stopped counting. Your body shook and Peter cleaned you up. He had a small fridge where he kept drinks from time to time and grabbed a water bottle for you to drink. 

You breathed heavily after drinking a copious amount of water before laying back down. You turned to check the clock on his bedside and saw that it was around three thirty in the morning. Peter crawled into bed with you, both still naked not caring enough to change. He held you impossibly close, burying his face in your shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry. Are you ok?” he mumbled in your skin. 

“I mean it was a lot,” you chuckled.

“I swear if it weren’t for that stupid fucking pollen our first time would have been softer and special,” he said, making you look at him with surprise. 

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, well, look. Y/n, I really like you and I know that timing is horrible but it’s true. I promise.”

“Well, I like you too,” you smiled at him.

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

“Wow. God, you’re amazing. Thank you for today,” he whispered, cuddling you close.

“Of course. I’d do anything for you.” 

You both fell  asleep soundly in each other's arms until you both woke up the next day from loud yet muffled voices downstairs. The sun was shining very bright, lighting the whole room up brightly. You stirred around and peeked over Peter’s sleeping body to find that it was around noon already and you two were still in bed. 

Peter moved a bit slowly waking up. You turned around to face and watched his beautiful face slowly come to life. His eyes met your eyes and you both smiled before bursting into giggles; hiding your face in his chest. 

“We’ll have to get up soon, you know,” he said, making you sigh dramatically.

“Let’s run away, before they make fun of us. They had to have heard, right?” you said, slightly panicked.

Peter just laughed and shook his head. He reached to kiss you, moving your hair off your neck eyes widening. 

“Oh man,” he said, thumb rubbing the dark spots he left on you.

“What?” You pushed the sheets off your body feeling intensely sore. You heard Peter gasped as you trotted to a mirror.

Your body was covered in bruises and hickeys that Peter left for literally everyone to see. When you looked in the mirror you yelled Peter’s name completely shocked at the state of your body. 

“I can’t believe you!”

“Well, in my opinion I think you looking fucking sexy,” he said coming up behind you.

“I like them,” you said shyly, “But everyone’s gonna see them, no?”

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen next time.”

“Next time?”

“Hell yeah. Only if you want of course,” he chuckled, “Let’s take a shower before we grab some food.”

That was filled with giggles and little touches. Kisses were exchanged practically every minute. You both came out of the shower and Peter so generously lent you a pair of clean boxers and one of his shirts fitting way too big on you. He wore these delicious looking grey sweatpants and a tight fitted black shirt. You practically drooled over him.

“No, later,” he winked.

He grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers before heading down stairs preparing for what could be an upcoming disaster. You came down stairs meeting everyone appearing to be arguing probably over what you did. Everyone noticed you two and immediately stopped conversing. 

Tony sat on a stool, arms crossed and an unamused look staring at you both while everyone else looked down or at each other, anywhere at but you guys.

“Before you say anything, everything that happened is my fault,” Peter pulled you behind him. 

Tony simply looked at you and made you feel shy and ashamed somewhat under his gaze. He told you to stay away and you didn’t listen.

“Don’t even look at her. She has nothing to do with this,” he said when Tony shifted his gaze.

“Relax, kid. Look we all talked. Thor told me about the effects the pollen can have mentally and the trauma it can impact when ‘untreated’ for too long. We weren’t going to find a cure anytime soon and I don’t even want to think about the consequences you’d have to pay because I'm a stubborn old man who didn’t like seeing the kids not be kids anymore. You both are adults and I had no right to interfere with that. Besides everyone knows you two are in love.”

“We’re not in love,” Peter mumbled.

“Love is such a strong word,” you mumbled simultaneously. 

“Don’t argue with me,” Tony said. 

“Sorry,” you both whispered.

“I’m sorry,” he admitted.

“We also agreed that starting today we will be installing soundproofing in both of your rooms and Y/n, maybe put some ice on…” he pointed to your neck but then waved around your whole body because you were pretty beaten up. 

“Thanks, guys,” Peter said holding your hand again.

“Congrats on getting the girl finally,” Steve said.

Before you two left you saw Nat wink at you and you smiled running away with Peter most likely to go cuddle and maybe fuck another round if your body feels better. As much as you hate to admit, thank god Peter smelled that fucking plant. 

[vampelune]

kamukomahina gender/body headcanons

a bit of a ramble about my body, gender, and general appearance headcanons for them bcuz someone sent me a curiouscat prompting this 3k words of hyperfixation nonsense

Komaeda:

- He has a naturally lithe body, with a thin waist, broad shoulders and hips, which give him an hourglass. and a rather andrognyous body, which is "lucky" for him, because I hc him as nonbinary and gender non-conforming

- Gender-wise, as I said, I think he's nonbinary. Usually I do view Nagito as AMAB but I indulge in transmasc Nagito from time to time depending on my preference and how much I wish to uh, well, project, lol. But either way I think he would use he/they pronouns in a western sense. In japanese, however, they don't use third person pronouns that other people refer to them with, and in canon he uses the first person pronoun "boku", which is a "soft" masculine pronoun, in comparison to the "hard" masculine pronoun, “ore” (which Hajime uses btw!) which fits quite nicely, in my opinion! Also, in Japanese, you can be 'fluid' with your first person pronouns depending on the situation, so I think he could use more neutral or feminine pronouns should he desire it, too, to play on his gender non-conformity.

- Komaeda is very secure in his gender, regardless of being AMAB or AFAB. He does not care about stigma, or discrimination, he does not care about being "accepted" by broader society. Broader society is sort of meaningless to him, the average person and their ideas about gender and presentation and effeminity mean NOTHING to him. Whether or not a random person the street genders him correctly or treats him with respect is sort of, pointless? Because to him, most ordinary people are pointless nobodies. Their thoughts do not matter to him. I think he is still prone to insecurity, however, when around his "betters" but I just struggle to think he would degrade himself in regards to gender. to him, it's the least of his problems. what he cares about is hope and talent. He could dress femininely or wear makeup or straight up crossdress and not mind it, really. He thinks people would find a problem with it are the problem, because why does it even matter? It speaks to the way Komaeda is detached from societal norms & "normal" people, he did not grow up in normal circumstances, so he doesn't interact with the world normally by any means. he can mask and act normally to the best of his ability, often unintentionally?, but he simply does not fit into broader society and doesn't seek to.

- Komaeda loses weight really easily, and doesn't gain weight that well. This is mainly due to his many illnesses but also the medications he's been put on. He has a low appetite and burns weight rather easily, even though I headcanon that he eats like garbage (mainly junk food & takeout, since he obviously cannot cook). This makes him overall, health wise, not very healthy, and stick thin because of it. A stiff breeze could knock him over, tbh.

- He has a lot of faded scars, self-inflicted or not.

- Pre-despair (in HPA) he is fairly healthy but still lithe, and progressively his body deteriorates through his 2 years of hopes peak before the Tragedy begins.

- During the Tragedy itself, his body is at it's worst. he is almost nothing but bone at times, barely kept together by a need to live so he can see hope triumph. His weight fluctuates but he's very unhealthy. He's not anorexic or on death's door, but he's not well off, either.

- After being put into the neo world program, right after waking up, he's very, very thin and gaunt. he was in a pod on feeding tubs for an indiscernible but at least probably a month's worth of time? So he's just very weak, like he could collapse if he moves too quickly.

- But a while after waking, he goes into remission, and starts to gain more healthy habits due to being rehabilitated and cared for by Hinata, and gains some weight, finally at a healthy, normal weight. I still think he would struggle with putting on too much weight, but I am slightly fond of the idea that he gets a bit of healthy pudge after a while. To him, it's so foreign being healthy, that he honestly think something's wrong with him at first.

Hinata:

- Hinata has a very... average body, true to form. His hips and waist aren't too pronounced but he has a loosely "hourglass" shape, too, just not as exaggerated as Komaeda's in comparison.

- Gender-wise, I am EXTREMELY fond of transmasc Hinata. While I think I portray AMAB Hinata more than transmasc Hinata (in art and writing), I still firmly prefer transmasc Hinata. The reason I think portray otherwise more is just out of comfortability, but I've been getting better at comfortably portraying FTM Hinata. I have some reasons I prefer it and think you can extrapolate it from canon, but let's get into that

- Hinata, in my eyes, has an arc and story that fits perfectly into him just. Being trans. His desire to be someone else, someone better, someone he can proud of, and the way he overcompensates for himself and has an extreme inferiority complex would easily lend to him having similar feelings about his gender. To me, Hinata is a trans man who overperforms his masculinity out of insecurity and a need to pass. I see him as someone who would strictly use "he/him" in a western sense, which is lended to by his use of the "ore" pronoun in canon, which is almost hypermasculine.

- Even if he were AMAB, I think it still works, I think he's still someone who's insecure and tries to assert himself more strongly and therefore performs masculinity in a way to appear more confident than he is.

(side note: I actually read a bit about queerness in Japan and how it relates to gender performance and the use of pronouns, and read a bit about how queer women in japan tend to use "boku" and "ore" to perform masculinity, which I find neat. “Ore” was also sometimes used exclusively to show anger and dominance, which is why it's categorized as a "rough" pronoun. I think Japanese language, gender, and expression, and how those all relate to one another, are extremely interesting and if you get the time you should read about it lol)

- Body-wise, pre-despair, I think Hinata would. not have top surgery, obviously. I think he has a fairly average but leaning a little on the hefty side chest (pre-op) and binds it, hence the '91 cm' (but also he still has 91 cm post-op because bazongas). I also just think he leans on the "twunk" side of things at this point, not buff but not stick thin or without muscle, just kind of average with average strength and all, though I think Hinata would've tried to do sports and stuff to find his talent so he's in shape :)

- My personal, kind of amusing, but also kind of... thematical? Headcanon, is that during the Kamukura project, he also underwent gender transition. to be honest, while it may not make sense in modern Japan, I think we can suspend our disbelief for fiction, and also make the argument that Hinata's "transition" into Kamukura CAN be read, in some part, as relatable or at least familiar to the trans experience. Iit is not out of the realm of possibility, either, to assume that because many bits of society in Danganronpa are advanced (specifically science, is extremely ahead of our understanding, almost sci-fi like at times) certain attitudes about gender and sexuality can be smoothed over more in a Japanese context.

(side note: I also think that science-wise, we can suspend our disbelief, and assume that top surgery and bottom surgery are much more advanced in this universe, given the almost unbelievable levels of science in Danganronpa, such as memory wipe, mind control, completely realistic virtual simulation, um literally everything about Kamukura which is body modification and brain modification to an extreme, etc. I think it's kind of fitting within these to assume that... Hinata/Kamukura could just, gain a functioning penis, lol)

Kamukura:

- Kamukura would have a. "Perfect" body. it's stated, I'm pretty sure, that they modified not only his brain but his body, because he needs to be able to perform every talent under their belt with ease, and his strength, instincts, technique, are all superhuman. So it's clear to me he'd have a buff body. toned muscles and all. He wouldn't really feel a need to keep it up, though, but I think since they're very... artificial (basically fucking steroids?) they wouldn't fade from a lack of keep-up.

- Kamukura also rarely ever is injured, but when he does, his body heals rather fast and can care for himself adequately, because again, his body is modified to a point of almost inhumanity.

- Gender wise, Kamukura genuinely does not care. however, I am not one to think that Kamukura is "a different person" from Hinata, rather, he is separate from Hinata, but an extension of Hinata as well, proven that he experiences some of his emotions even if subconsciously and without understanding them. he isn't a different personality or person developed in Hinata's body, but a very traumatizing, repressed, and manipulated version of Hinata given a new name, with memories repressed. He's like Theseus's ship in human form---if you get rid of everything that makes someone themselves and replace it, bit by bit, is it the same person? Technically, yes, but... truly? Who knows. 

Because of this, I think Kamukura would have a leaning toward masculine gender performance (in canon, in fact, he uses the soft masculine pronoun "boku" in stead of "ore" like Hinata) BUT I think he is still very nonbinary. In a western sense, i think he would use he/they pronouns, but not really care if someone mistook him for a woman, I suppose.

- His appearance, unironically, is very nonbinary or "he/they" to me because he's wearing a suit, the archetypal form of masculinity, but has extremely long hair, which is considered feminine, and speaks softly (dully). Of course, the bishounen "pretty boy" appearance isn't uncommon or considered less masculine in japan, I think, but there is still a different between soft masculinity and rough masculinity in japan, which lends itself to being interpreted sort of gender non-conforming by western audiences :)

- Kamukura, due to his apathy, struggles with self-maintaining, but as we all probably know i am extremely attached to KamuKoma and thus headcanon that Servant helps him, sort of like a royal servant would royalty in the old days, take care of himself by bathing him, brushing his hair out, grooming him, etc. partially out of duty, partially out of appreciation for Kamukura's body, and partially out of maintaining his sort of "perfect" look since Kamukura, especially post-Junko death, is perceived widely by the public as the new leader of the ultimate despair, even if he is ambivalent to such a title.

Post-DR3 Hinata/Kamukura combined:

As I rambled on about previously, I don't think that Kamukura and Hinata are separate people or personality, I really dislike the interpretation that they are like a "split personality" or operate like DID, because they do not "form" like DID, but also in canon, are not portrayed as separate people.

In post-dr3, Hinata instead says that he is both of them, because he is. Kamukura is Hinata, always was, but had been given a new, false identity, had been stripped of his previous self, his memories, his personality, and crafted into something new. but that did not "split" his brain into two people. It simply repressed who he once was, and made him someone he now was. But when Kamukura regains his memories, his past self, through the means of the new world program by restoring his own memories after SDR2 concludes and he wakes up, as well as doing the same for everyone else, he decides to be "Hajime Hinata" who he always was, but carrying and shouldering the weight of what "Izuru Kamukura" had been, become, and done. Hinata *is* Kamukura, he answers for Kamukura's wrongdoings, his crimes, as something he had done as a different person who's mind operated differently, due to being artificially suppressed, modified, into an apathetic tool for the scientists who made him, and later and aimless, bored individual who simply sought meaning he did not have in the unknown of what despair would be at it's climax. And if hope could overcome it.

As such, I think, when Hinata's self is brought back into the mix, and he now deals with Kamukura's apathy and boredom in part, but much less consuming and much less often, I think hinata is less staunchly "masculine", does not overperform it anymore, and is trying to understand what his past means to him, what his present is, and what his future will be. I think that Hinata would still primarily use he/him (or still use "ore" in Japanese, as it's also a means of his personality, which is a bit rough around the edges and blunt), but be more ambivalent to rigid gender expression, still finding comfort and idealness in masculinity, but not be made dysphoric or feel frightened, uncomfortable, with non-comformity or anything like that. being boyish, masculine, is what he enjoys, but he's comfortable in it now, doesn't need to prove himself or overperform it. He can explore nonconformity without feeling like his gender or masculinity is at threat, even if it's not his preference outright.

Body-wise, I think it's safe to say he retains Kamukura's muscle and all, but Kamukura didn't put much effort into the everyday machinations of being a human being in general, and Hinata is much more fond of food than him now, eats more often, and I enjoy the idea that he gains a little pudge and has a kind of "dad bod" almost, post-DR3? lol.

Both for Hinata and Kamukura I don't see their bodies as “bara” or overly buff, masculine, but a kind of comfortable middle ground between twunk and hunk, lmao. I think they're also averagely hairy, not overly so, very lightly. kind of well groomed, and all. Hinata, pre-despair, put not so much effort into his appearance but still some, especially in trying to pass. (In fact I think his hair cut looks like a home job, all choppy and stuff, which fits him in my opinion, something done by his own hands even if messy and imperfect, he still prefers to be in control of it. also fits the trans headcanon tehe).

Izuru put very little if any effort into himself, only the bare minimum necessary to function, but servant helped him upkeep it to a perfect standard. Hinata, post-dr3 now, finds himself putting you know, an average amount of care into himself and his body, enough to be healthy, but not overly critical and conscious of himself.

Komaeda i have always seen as someone who takes a good deal of care about himself, merely if to alleviate the "disgust" of his appearance and body, by practically preening himself. He is someone who is good at cleaning and seems to appreciate clean and well kept spaces, so I think he would have a similar attitude toward himself. even if he is insecure, and of course, struggles with mental health and may slip at times in his routine in keeping himself well-kept, I think he still maintains an appearance for the most part, at least in his later years (teen to young adult). An argument can be made that he cared less in his adolescence because he had much more apathy about the world, but when he gave himself a purpose with hope and talent, I think he would care for himself a little better, even if his was spiralling mentally.

His hair is always washed, it is just very curly and prone to mess, so it often looks like perpetual bedhead, even when he combs and brushes it. His skin is soft even if a little worn by his tendency for accidents & injury, it's still soft and almost luckily so, and he takes pride in moisturizing and cleaning himself. His skin is a little sickly, still, and I think that despite having blemishes, scars, etc. Komaeda manages to look pretty in a strange way, not conventionally beautiful, but almost ethereal? He's just *pretty*, there's no way to explain it, he is nice to look at even with all his "flaws" and imperfections. Even when he's sickly and bony, even when his cheeks are gaunt or his hands shaky and weak, when his hair is a tangled mess or his clothes are dirty, he's nice to look at in a way that's nonconventional, and it's sort of mesmerizing.

Hinata I think is very average but also in a way that's nice to look at it. He's not ground-breaking hot or conventionally attractive, he has a good body, a nice face, and hair you could play with a little if you wanted. I think what's appealing about him is his normalcy, he's not trying too hard or "gifted" gene wise, but he's just kinda nice to look at, he's enjoyable to be around, an understanding person, or at least tries to be even when he fails, and despite having flaws, insecurities, blunt, he is someone you're drawn to because he's one of those people that's just, easy to talk to? An emotional anchor, almost. The kind of guy everyone kind of knows and has talked to at least once, even if you're not friends with him personally, not because he's cool or popular or anything, but because he's a normal dude who's easy to trust and talk to.

Kamukura, on the other hand, is intimidating, appearance wise and personality wise. he looks, strange, anything but normal, his eyes are red and his hair is this dark cloud that envelops him. His face may still be that plain one Hinata has but faces can be changed by the surrounding attributes as well as expression and such is true for him, with his apathetic and cold expression as well as otherwordly characteristics, he comes off as much more beautiful in a dark way, kind of? In a way that's intimidating or a little daunting, but he's still very beautiful. mesmerizing.

okay, thats my ramble. ty.

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Three

chapter two - Chapter Three: Ceasefire - chapter four

Series Masterlist

Plot: Bucky, Sam and Y/n visit Baltimore and unearth a long kept, heartbreaking secret. Bucky and Y/n’s tension comes to a head when they meet with Dr. Raynor.

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: spoilers for episode. 2, angst, language, racial undertones, racial profiling, PTSD, mention of torture, mention of suicide, fluffy angst, Walker is an asshole and Y/n is a bad bitch, the start of the slow burn 🔥

A/N: This shit was heavy to write because of the subject matter so hopefully the fluff towards the end makes up for all the angst I’m about to put you through lol. Honestly, it’s so hard to write this series not having the ending of the show yet 😂 Like I’m trying to build this and I know where I need it to go but it all depends on the show. This week’s episode was 👀 and I’m already drafting in my head. Anyways, enjoy!

----

Military craft bathrooms, I had found out, were not an ideal place to apply makeup.

I had woken up in the early morning hours stiff, achy and with a deep purple bruise on my cheek. I’d done my best to conceal it as to not attract attention wherever Bucky was taking us, but I wasn’t a magician.

Sam and I had yet to speak about me going home, but the tense exchange we’d shared before I passed out still hung over us. It wasn’t like we’d never fought, but the reasoning had never been over one of our lives being endangered. I didn’t want to leave him, but it was futile to argue the point.

The neighborhood that we were passing through didn’t look all that different from New Orleans. Bucky still had yet to tell us who we were here to see, only that it was important that Sam met him. I was done asking questions and trailed behind them on the sidewalk, my hands shoved in my jacket pockets and my head hung in defeat. I’d tried to do the superhero thing and failed miserably.

“Hey, it’s Black Falcon! What’s up?” “It’s just Falcon, kid,” Sam replied to the boy sat in front of a chain-linked fence with his friend.

“No, no, my daddy told me it’s Black Falcon,” the kid insisted. 

Sam stopped in front of them, “Is it because I’m black and I’m the Falcon?” “Well, technically, I mean, yes,” he shrugged. “So are you, like, Black Kid?” The kid’s friend burst into laughter and Sam did the same, “I got him, right?”

“Whatever, man…” the kid sat down, I was just about to pass him when he stopped me, “Are you a superhero too?” Sam stopped and looked back at me, his lips pressed in a thin frown. His eyes were sympathetic but I wasn’t in any mood to discuss my unsuccessful attempt to enter his world. I gave a sad smile to the kid, “No, I’m not.” I patted his shoulder and left, Sam chose to walk with me instead of ahead of me.

Bucky was already on the house’s front porch when we climbed the stairs, he banged on the door marked with a ‘No Trespassing’ sign. We waited a few seconds before it opened to reveal a boy, 16 or 17 maybe.

“We’re here to see Isaiah,” Bucky said. “Nobody named Isaiah live here,” the teen replied.

“Look, we just want to talk to him,” Bucky gently pushed.

“You must not hear what I just said, you ain’t getting in this house. Ya’ll can leave now.” Bucky dropped his head and shut his eyes, looking as if what he was about to say pained him. “Tell him the guy from the bar in Goyang is here,” his voice dropped, “He’s gonna know what that means.”

The boy’s eyes bounced between the three of us before backing away from the door, “All right, wait here.” “Nice kid,” Sam commented once he was gone, “How do you know this guy?” “I used to, we had a skirmish during the Korean War,” Bucky explained. The screened door opened once again to reveal the teen, “Today’s your lucky day. He said he wanna see for himself.”

Bucky led the way inside followed by Sam and I. Where the living room met the dining room was where a tall, grey haired black man stood. “Isaiah,” Bucky greeted him as we stepped inside. “Look at you,” Isaiah said, taking cautious steps toward Bucky. “This is, uh, Sam. Sam, this is Isaiah,” Bucky raised his hand toward the man, “He was a hero. One of the ones that HYDRA feared the most, like Steve. We met in ’51.”

“If by met, you mean I whupped your ass, then, yeah,” Isaiah interrupted to correct Bucky’s inaccurate storytelling. “We heard whispers he was on the peninsula, but everyone they sent after him, never came back. So the U.S. military dropped me behind the line to go deal with him,” he spat the last part of the sentence. “I took half that metal arm in that fight in Goyang, but I see he’s managed to grow it back. I just wanted to see if he got the arm back or if he’d come to kill me.” I watched over Sam’s shoulder as Bucky shook his head. “I’m not a killer anymore,” his voice hitched slightly.

“You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be? It doesn’t work like that,” Isaiah’s voice hardened, “Well, maybe it does for folks like you.” There was a pause as Bucky collected himself before we got to the heart of the matter, “Isaiah, the reason we’re here is because there’s more of you and me out there.” 

“You and me…” Isaiah seethed, his eyes boring into Bucky.

“And we need to know how…” “I’m not gonna talk about it anymore,” Isaiah growled before picking up a metal tin and flinging it across the room. Sam threw an arm out to shield me but the tin lodged itself in the wooden paneling of the walls. With that power at his age, Isaiah was undoubtably a Super Soldier. 

He took deliberate steps toward us till he stood only a foot away from Bucky. “You know what they did to me for being a hero? They put my ass in jail,” Isaiah’s voice broke, the traumatic memories were hitting him as he spoke, “For thirty years. People running tests, taking my blood, coming into my cell. Even your people weren’t done with me.” “Isaiah…” Sam said carefully.

“Get out of my house!” Sam and I startled at the sudden noise, but I didn’t fault Isaiah for his reaction. My heart broke for him in fact. Tears had welled in my eyes as he told us fragments of his life, my hand slipped to my mouth to prevent my sobs from escaping. Bucky turned away first, leading me out as Isaiah’s presumed grandson did the same to Sam. He pushed ahead of us both, every emotion possible playing out on his face.

“Sam…” Bucky began as we descended the front steps of the house.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Isaiah? How could nobody bring him up?” Sam angrily pointed a finger towards Bucky, who remained quiet as the three of us walked down the middle of the road. “I asked you a question, Bucky.” “I know…” “Steve didn’t know about him?” Sam asked.

“He didn’t, I didn’t tell him,” Bucky answered, his eyes never leaving the ground.

“How could you not tell him?” I exclaimed, my tears still tracing abstract patterns down my cheeks, “If there were anybody to tell, it would have been him!” “So you’re telling me,” Sam stopped walking and pointed back to Isaiah’s house, “That there was a black Super Soldier decades ago and nobody knew about it?” 

Before Bucky got the chance to answer, the siren on a nearby police car sounded off. Two officers pulled up and exited the vehicle, “Hey.” “What’s up, man?” Sam said.

“Is there a problem here?” one asked, focusing on Sam.

“No, we’re just talking,” he answered, gesturing between the three of us. “We’re fine,” Bucky answered, visibly put out by the interruption.

“Really, we’re fine,” I shakily spoke up, wiping my palms under my wet eyes.

The officers didn’t accept our answers, instead coming closer towards Sam. “Can I see your ID?”

“I don’t have ID, why?”

“Okay, sir,” the officer held up his hands, “Just calm down.” “I am calm,” Sam responded, I could see the anger bubbling below his surface, “What do you want? We’re just standing here talking.” Bucky gestured towards the policemen, “Just give him your ID so we can leave.” The tears I was fighting so hard to control couldn’t be stopped as I watched the scene play out. “No,” Sam protested, “I’m not giving him shit, we’re just talking.” “Officers, there’s nothing going on,” I insisted, sniffling as I tried to speak. “Ma’am,” one of the men approached me, holding his hands out carefully as if to shield me from Sam, “If this man is making you uncomfortable in any way-“ “He’s my brother,” I sidestepped away from the cop, “You’re the only ones making us feel uncomfortable.” “He’s not bothering either of us, do you know who this is?” Bucky gestured towards Sam, I came to stand between both of them and placed a protective hand on Sam’s shoulder. If anything was going down, I was going down with him.

The cop that had briefly stepped away to his car came back and whispered something into his co-worker’s ear. His jaw dropped as he looked Sam over again, this time with a much less aggressive stare. “I am so sorry, Mr Wilson,” the bastard had the audacity to chuckle, “I didn’t recognize you without the goggles. I’m really, really sorry about this.” A second police car came down the street and stopped in front of us. The officers told us to wait as they hurried to try and clean up their mistake. It didn’t matter, the damage had already been done. Neighbors and people passing by were stood outside houses and on the sidewalk watching the scene unfold. And there stood Sam, the leading role of a story these men had written and forced him into. I’d never felt more helpless in that moment when I realized that had he not been recognized, there wouldn’t have been anything I could’ve done to save him.

“I didn’t…I didn’t tell anybody because he had already been through enough,” Bucky said quietly, reeling us back to our original point of conversation.

“Mr. Barnes,” the officer who had tried to cage me from Sam approached Bucky, “There’s a warrant out for your arrest.” “Look, the president pardoned him for all that,” Sam said. “Not for that. You missed your court-mandated therapy. It’s like missing a check-in with your PO. I’m sorry, Mr. Barnes, you’re under arrest.” Resigned was the only word I could think of to describe Bucky’s expression. He willingly followed and allowed them to handcuff him, quickly shaking his head at us as if to apologize for the ridiculousness as he got into the car. The worst part was I knew that if Sam or I were stupid enough to speak up, the consequences would be far worse than our reluctant cooperation. The car drove off, carrying Bucky and all his demons he hadn’t told his therapist about this week.

Sam and I remained frozen in the street, playing the last five minutes back in our heads. In a little house in a corner of Baltimore sat a war torn, wrongfully imprisoned, black Super Soldier who hadn’t had the suddenly privileged lifestyle Steve Rogers had. Isaiah had been beaten down, experimented on and abused for almost half of his life. The samples that had been taken from his body against his will had been used to create the Super Soldiers we’d met, ones that were out for blood. “Let’s get out of here,” Sam muttered, putting a hand on my back and pulling me into his side protectively. I snuck one last glance at Isaiah’s home, praying that whatever time he had left on earth was spent in the peace he deserved.

——

We hitched a cab ride to the downtown police station and were informed at the front desk that Bucky was being released. His therapist was flying in from New York to come and meet with him.

Sam and I sat in the uncomfortable chairs of the waiting area, him on his phone and me zoning out on the wall. The ‘what ifs’ of our confrontation with the police were still swirling around in my head, each one more brutal than the last.

“I’m not leaving,” I blurted out, “After this, I’m not leaving you guys.” Sam sighed and switched off his phone, “I’m not gonna argue this again with you. I’m keeping you safe, I don’t care whether you like it or not.” “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m feeling,” I turned to him, my eyes watery and my fidgeting fists clenched in my lap. “I’m not going home just so I can sit from a safe distance and worry whether or not you’re gonna die at the hands of some cop who feels brave. Or a bunch of Super Soldiers with a grudge against the world,” I forced the lump building in my throat down, “I’m not going to leave and wait for your body to come back in a casket. The only way I’m going home is if you’re with me.” His lips parted like he was about to say something before deciding against it. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but I could see that my speech had affected him. He pulled me into him, my head laying on his shoulder and his arm around my neck. I had worried for my brother’s life when he was first in the service, even more when he first became an Avenger. But that fear couldn’t compare to the kind I felt when the cops disregard each of his truths. I sniffled as I rested against him, trying hard not to imagine a world where Sam Wilson wasn’t by my side.

“Sam,” a women approached us, “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dr. Raynor, James’ therapist.” We rose and Sam shook her hand, “So nice to meet you.” “Y/n Y/l/n,” I introduced myself as she extended the same greeting, “Thank you for getting Bucky out.”

“That was not me,” she smiled politely.

“Christina!” a nearby voice shouted, “It’s great to see you again.” 

When bulls see the color red, it angers them to the point that they’ll charge toward it in a fit of rage. My reaction to seeing John Walker in the red white and blue suit was one of a similar caliber.

“You gotta be kidding me,” I grumbled, covering my face with my palm. 

“You know him?” Sam asked in disbelief. “Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day,” Dr. Raynor answered.

Walker strutted towards us, “I heard you were working with Bucky so I thought I’d step in. Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.” 

“We haven’t finished our work,” she asserted, “Who authorized this?” Walker held up two hands and aimed them at his arrogant self. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up. Just do whatever you got to do with him, then send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I,” he pointed to me and Sam, “You guys too. I’ll be outside.”

He marched back out through the door he’d come through and if we hadn’t been in a police station, I might have reeled him back in with my energy to inform him of just how low of a chance there was that we’d ever take an order from him. But if we had to go through him to spring Bucky, I’d bite my tongue for his sake.

“James,” Dr. Raynor turned, addressing Bucky who was now leaned up against the nearby counter, “Condition of your release, session now,” she looked over her shoulder towards us, “You too, Sam, Y/n.” Sam was quick to decline for us both, “That’s okay, we’ll be out here-“ “That wasn’t a request.”

Judging by the unenthusiastic glare we were getting from Bucky, he wasn’t any more excited than we were. “The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can leave,” I said to Sam, taking the initiative and following Dr. Raynor, once again with the men in my tow.

“What exactly is your relationship with James, Miss Y/l/n?” Dr. Raynor asked as she slowed her pace to match mine. “I don’t have a relationship with him,” I answered plainly, “I only met him yesterday. We got our asses kicked in Munich together.”

We were led into an interrogation room, just as cold and bleak as the ones I’d seen on tv. There were two chairs on each side of the table awaiting us. “Since I’m here primarily to speak with James and Sam, Y/n,” Dr. Raynor removed her coat and placed it on the back of her seat, “You can observe alongside me. You two on that end.” A simple thing as even sitting next to one another seemed like too big an ask for Sam and Bucky. The two of them looked like kids sent to the principal’s office as they begrudgingly sat down. I for one was looking forward to watching them sort out whatever beef they had that I had gotten tangled up in.

“So,” Dr. Raynor set her notebook down on the table, “Who would like to start?” “All right, look, Dr. Raynor?” Sam began, “I get it, why you want me to talk to Freaky Magoo over here. But I’m 100% fine.” Sam’s fatal mistake was darting his eyes over to me before looking back at her. I already knew he was lying, but his tell confirmed it.

“It is my job to make sure that you’re okay,” Dr. Raynor addressed Bucky, “And so, yeah, this may be slightly unprofessional but it’s the only way that I can see if you’re getting over whatever’s eating at you.” 

“This is ridiculous,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I agree,” Bucky shook his head.

“This is the first time they’ve agreed on anything for the past twenty four hours,” I spoke up, leaning back in my seat to watch the show unfold.

“See? We’re making progress already,” Dr. Raynor said, “So, who wants to go first?”

Silence.

“No volunteers? Wow, how surprising…” she remarked, “Okay, we’re going to do an exercise. It’s something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they wanna build together. Are you familiar with the miracle question?”

“Absolutely not,” Bucky answered. 

“Of course not,” Sam’s voice overlapped with Bucky’s.

“Okay, it goes like this. Suppose that while you’re sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?’

Bucky suddenly became chatty, “In my miracle, um, he would…he would talk less.”

“Exactly what I was gonna say,” Sam replied, “Isn’t that ironic?”

“You guys are leaving me with no choice,” Dr. Raynor shrugged, “It’s time for the soul-gazing exercise.” “I like this better,” Bucky perkily pointed a finger towards his shrink.

Sam chuckled quietly to himself, “He’s gonna love this.” “Yeah, I’m ready.” “This is right up your alley…” Dr. Raynor motioned for them to rotate, ”Turn around, face each other.” “You should really enjoy this,” Sam said acidly. 

“I’m going to,” Bucky said with a sarcastic smile, the only one I’d seen him wear. “Let’s do it,” he said happily as Sam moved to face him, “Let’s stare. This is a good exercise, thanks Doc.” “Alright, get close,” Dr. Raynor instructed, they scooted slightly towards one another, “Come on, get closer.” With their knees touching, any further would put them much closer than either of them would ever want. “Which way do you want to go?” Bucky asked, “Right or left?” “Why are your legs open?” Sam asked impatiently, “You know what? Fine, here, you happy now?” He used Bucky’s chair to pull him forward so they legs were locked together.

“That’s a little close,” Bucky said loudly, adjusting in his seat. Sam nodded in agreement, “It’s very close, that’s what you wanted, right?” 

I couldn’t hold in my laughter anymore, causing both of them to shoot daggers at me. “Is this fun for you?” Sam snapped, gesturing towards their touching thighs. “Very,” I grinned unapologetically.

“Guys,” Dr. Raynor held up a hand to silence us all, “Now, look at each other. You need to look at each other in the eyes,” they obeyed and lifted their eyes to meet, “There, you see? That wasn’t so hard.” The stares they wore intensified, “Wait, what are you doing?” Dr. Raynor asked, “Are you having a staring contest?” Sam adjusting his eyebrows was her answer, she leaned over the table and snapped her fingers. “Just blink! All right, James, why does Sam aggravate you?” Bucky turned to his therapist with as close to a real smile as I’d seen on him when she cut him off, “And don’t say something childish.” His head lolled to the side in defeat, his pink tongue came out to wet his lips as he thought over his answer. “Why did you give up that shield?” “Why are you making such a big deal over something that has nothing to do with you?” Sam shot back.

“Steve believed in you, he trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason,” Bucky’s emotions were starting to seep out, “That shield, that is- that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield and you threw it away like it was nothing.” “Shut up…” Sam muttered.

“So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.”

The way that Bucky’s voice had quivered at the end was telling of just how deep the wound ran. But Sam’s forgoing of the shield was backed by reasons that Bucky could never wrap his mind around.

“You finished?” Sam spoke up, when Bucky said yes, he continued, “All right, good. Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?”

This was the issue that made the heavy silence we were sitting in all the more complicated. Both men were valid in their feelings, but there would be no resolve for either of them. Steve was gone, Walker carried the shield and Bucky and Sam were trying their best to navigate a new world.

Sam scoffed, burying the emotions that I knew he was trying to hide from. “You know what, Doc? I don’t have time for this. We have some real serious shit going on. So how about this? I will squash it right now. We go deal with that, and when we’re done, we both can go on separate long vacations and never see each other again.” My eyes widened at how quickly the conversation had escalated. “I like that,” Bucky agreed.

“Great. Well, let’s get to work,” Sam turned to Dr. Raynor, “Thanks, Doc, for making it weird. I feel much better,” he turned to Bucky, “I’ll see you outside.” With a slap to his shoulder, he rose from his seat and was out the door in seconds. There was so much left unresolved that didn’t sit well with me. As Bucky went to stand up, I did too. “Actually, Doctor,” I walked around to table to take Sam’s empty seat, “I’d like to say a few things.” Bucky annoyedly fell back down into his chair and shook his head in irritation. I didn’t particularly care that he didn’t want to speak with me, all he had to do was listen. “I know you and Steve were best friends and I know how much he means to you. But I can’t sit here and watch you berate my brother relentlessly over the fact that he didn’t take up that mantle. It’s easy for someone like Steve to be Captain America without any pushback, but Sam?” I pointed to the closed door, “It’s a whole ‘other ballgame. And while Steve would never have fully understood it, he would have made an effort to. And he wouldn’t be pressuring Sam like you are. You need to drop this and you need to drop it now.” “Let’s get one thing straight,” his razor sharp jaw ticked in anger, “You don’t get to talk about Steve like you knew him or like you understand anything about our friendship. You never met him, you don’t get to speak for him.” He could have never known what button he had just pressed, but my reaction wouldn’t have changed even if he had. I sat up straighter in my chair, my steely eyes boring into him. “I didn’t know Steve? Well, then I guess it was a different Steve Rogers that Sam introduced me to when I came to visit him in D.C. And it must have been a different Steve Rogers that I visited at the Avengers compound when I helped Sam move in,” I leaned forward, the dam in my eyes threatening to break, “It must have been a different Steve Rogers that I ran to when people all around me started turning to dust.”

————

It was pouring rain outside the Avengers compound, the piles of dust that had rested on the ground having long since been washed away. Y/n stormed across the front lawn of the compound to the entrance, she had driven straight through for 20 hours from Delacroix to upstate New York. Getting past security hadn’t been hard once she had said who she needed to speak to and who it regarded.

Her boots squeaked across the floor as she marched through the compound, she’d only been once but she still remembered her way around. She navigated through hallways until she’d found the main room, she only recognized one of the figures that stood hunched over a table in deep discussion. At the sound of her entrance, each one of them turned around. “Y/n…” Steve said in shock, a relieved sigh spilling from his lips, “You’re okay.” “He’s here, right?” she trembled, “He’s in his room or the kitchen? Steve, tell me he’s here.” When Steve didn’t answer and ducked his head, Y/n pushed harder. “Tell me he’s here, Steve.” He looked back up, finally meeting her eyes. “I can’t do that.”

Y/n let the last bit of strength she had slip through her fingers as her soaked form dropped to the floor. Steve was quick to hold her, offering what little comfort he could, knowing that he wasn’t the person she wanted to see most in the world. She sobbed in his arms, the first step in the long process of mourning her brother.

Steve made a true effort to keep in contact with Y/n over the next five years. He flew down to New Orleans to visit every couple months or he offered to fly Y/n up to New York. About two years post Blip were when financial struggles really started to hit Sarah and Y/n’s business and Y/n had to decline each kind offer to meet him on his turf. When she explained why, Steve showed up on her doorstep two days later, ready to stay for the week and help out however he could. It wasn’t hard to see why Sam had bonded so deeply with Steve, he had just as big a heart as her brother.

The day that Sarah and Y/n received the joyous call from Sam that he was back from the dead was the best day of their lives. Y/n called Steve immediately after to tell him the news and thank him for whatever part she had guessed he’d played in reuniting their family. Her calls kept going to voicemail. After Sam’s reunion with his sisters and nephews, he took Y/n aside and handed her an envelope. Inside it was a letter from Steve explaining that he wouldn’t be returning after the restoration of the population. He wished her a good life with her family and that he had valued her friendship and kindness towards him. As brokenhearted as Y/n had been over the loss of her friend, when Sam told her the true reason behind Steve’s sudden disappearance, she was overjoyed that Steve had gotten somebody he loved back too.

Steve Rogers was there for Y/n in some of her darkest hours. They had bonded deeply, their friendship a single ray of light in their then darkened world. To see his shield paraded around by someone who didn’t embody the same qualities and values that he did hurt more than she let on. The world may have accepted John Walker, but he’d never be Captain America in Y/n’s eyes.

————

I had somehow made it through my retelling of my time with Steve without completely breaking down. A river of silent tears streamed down my cheeks but my voice held firm. 

Bucky’s harsh stare had diminished significantly the longer I spoke. His plush lips were parted in surprise, words I didn’t care to hear hanging off of them.

“I don’t ever want to hear that I didn’t know Steve Rogers,” my voice threatened to break finally, “You’re not the only one who wants to protect his legacy.” Dr. Raynor had remained so silent while I talked, I’d forgotten she was there until she offered me a tissue. I hastily wiped my cheeks, ducking away from Bucky’s gaze. “Thank you, Doctor,” I said softly as I stood up, “This has been really helpful.” I wrapped my arms tight around my torso and exited the room as quick as I could, making a beeline for the lobby to find Sam. When he spotted me, he stood to attention. “What’s wrong? What happened?” “Nothing,” I shook my head, “I just want to get out of here.” He placed a protective hand on my shoulder as he watched me sniffle the last of my tears away. Bucky joined us seconds later, I couldn’t look directly at him after bearing so much of myself to him. The three of us left the police station in a now familiar silence, each deep in thought about what we’d revealed. 

“Well, I feel better,” Sam said as we stepped out into the cool evening air. “I feel awful,” Bucky grumbled.

A siren whooping caught our attention, I wished it hadn’t. There stood Lemar Hoskins and John Walker, waving at us and calling us over. The three of us reluctantly made our way towards them. “Look, if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that.”

Sam rolled his eyes and humored him, “So what do you got?”

“Well, the leader’s name’s Karli Morgenthau,” Walker explained, “We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place.” “They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal,” Hoskins interjected, “But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe.” 

“We think she’s taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps,” Walker finished.

“Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since The Blip,” Bucky spoke up across from me, “So I guess you’ll have to look real hard.” Walker smiled, “Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” “Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?” Bucky asked. “No, we don’t know, Bucky,” his voiced raised, highlighting his frustrations, “It’s only a matter of time before we find out.” If I knew anything about Bucky by now, it was that he had no issue with provoking people. “Things are really intense for you, aren’t they, Walker?” I clapped my hands together once, “Okay, if this keeps going, someone’s probably gonna end up back in there behind bars so let’s just settle down.” “Look, Walker’s right,” Sam stepped forward, “It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorizations you have to get. We’re free agents. We’re more flexible. So it wouldn’t make sense for us to work with you.”

We didn’t make it further than a three steps when Walker spoke up again. “Miss Y/l/n,” I stopped walking at his call, “You’re an enhanced individual, right?” “I’m what they call a mutant,” I spun on my heels to face him, “But to simplify it, sure, I’m enhanced.” Walker raised a condescending eyebrow, “Are you familiar with the Sokovian Accords?”

My spine stiffened, he was trying to blackmail me without actually saying the words. I was far too familiar with the accords and the ramifications they’d had on the Avengers. They’d sent Steve and Sam on the run for two years. “I think I’ve heard of them, yeah,” I smiled humorlessly. “It clearly states that any enhanced individuals who haven’t signed are not authorized to participate in any national or international conflicts or any missions run by private organizations such as the Avengers,” he gestured towards Sam, “You’re running with an Avenger, aren’t you?” A mirthless chuckle fell from my mouth as I watched him try and intimidate me. “Look, Craptain America,” I took slow and calculated steps towards him, “You can order your partner around or the soldiers that look up to you, but don’t think for one second that you can threaten me and try to pull the same shit the government did with Wanda Maximoff. I’m not going to be told who I can and cannot help.” Walker looked down at me menacingly, resembling a little boy who hadn’t gotten his way. “A word of advice then,” he said, eyes flicking between Sam, Bucky and I, “Stay the hell out of my way.” The juxtaposition between him and Steve had never been more apparent. Here he was daring to threaten me with incarceration followed by an ominous warning when it hadn’t worked. Bucky, Sam and I waited until him and Hoskins had left before heading our own way. “‘Craptain America?’” Sam echoed, slinging an arm around my neck, “I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of you.” “It was a low blow,” I admitted with a contradictory smirk.

“Someone needed to say it,” Bucky chimed in, hesitantly looking over to me before quickly averting his gaze back to the sidewalk.

“Do I need to be worried that he threatened me with the accords? Are Sarah and I going to have S.H.I.E.L.D showing up on our door or something?” I asked.

“I think he’s just trying to intimidate you, but…” Sam inhaled wearily, “But I’d rather keep you here with us, just to be safe. If anybody were to come, we could protect you.” My smile grew as I looked up at Sam, the parameters of how to keep me safe had changed in my favor. I was almost grateful Walker had threatened me. “I can stay?” “Stop looking so happy about it,” Sam dropped his arm from around me, “This isn’t going to be easy,” he looked to our left to Bucky, “So what are you thinking?”

“Well, I know what we have to do,” he answered, if he had reservations about me sticking around, he was kind enough not to mention them. “When Isaiah said “my people…””

“Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant.”

“No, he meant HYDRA, HYDRA used to be my people.”

Sam thought the answer over for a second, decoding it. “Not a chance,” he scoffed.

“Walker doesn’t have any leads,” Bucky shrugged.

“I know where you’re going with this, no.” “He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia?” “Wait, you’re not talking about…” I sought out Bucky’s eyes that were still dodging mine. I didn’t need a history lesson on who he was referring to. “No. Not him. He’s crazy.” “We don’t exactly have a lot of other options,” Bucky said as if that was justification for what he wanted to do. “So you’re just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?” Sam asked. Bucky hesitated, searching for a more sophisticated answer. “Y-yes.” I may have been allowed to stay, but I knew that I wasn’t experienced enough yet to argue on their level. They knew when and how to make the difficult calls, they could operate in a grey area with little to no issues. All I could do was sit back, be taken along for the ride and tolerate any passengers who got in along the way.

“Okay, then,” Sam finally concurred, “We’re gonna go see Zemo.”

————

I couldn’t sleep.

We were back on the jet speeding back to Germany, this time with an even more sinister problem at hand. I had wanted to come along, I just hadn’t guessed that the reason I’d be allowed to stay would be because of a threat to my safety. All because of my powers. This was the reason why my father had been hellbent on keeping them a secret. I felt in a way that I’d failed him, that somewhere in the afterlife he was disappointed in me for telling the truth, even if I’d done it for the right reasons. Sam was conked out next to me, I envied his military training to get quick sleep wherever he could. I personally felt like I’d injected caffeine into my veins back in Maryland and hadn’t been able to come down since.

“Can’t sleep?” Bucky asked from where he laid on the floor, I thought he’d been unconscious the whole time.

“Can’t imagine why,” I dryly chuckled, “We’re only flying cross country to sit down and meet with one of the world’s most dangerous criminals. Why the floor?” “Oh,” he’d sat up and was looking back down at his lousy makeshift bed, his jacket balled up as a pillow and an itchy blanket, “It’s, uh, hard to explain.”

After a few seconds of near uncomfortable silence, he pushed himself up and made his way to where I sat. I tucked my legs under me to make room for his burly body. He was big enough that with all the space I’d tried to give him, my knees still brushed against his thick thigh. He sighed loudly, giving voice to the divide that if we’d have gone our separate ways, as planned, wouldn’t have mattered. Now that we were going to be working together, we couldn’t ignore what had been said in that interrogation room.

“Listen, about what…happened,” his face contorted in a mild cringe as he played the scene back in his head, “I’m sorry, for what I said.” “You didn’t know,” I offered, picking at a loose thread on my jacket, “I don’t talk about Steve a whole lot except with Sam.” “Still, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that,” Bucky continued, folding his hands in his lap. “I’ve been rude since we met and that’s not okay. Especially when all you’ve done is try and help.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” I leaned my head against the back of my seat, “No permanent damage done.” His thumbs danced together, his brows were knitted in concentration as he prepared to speak. “Can I, uh, ask you about your powers?”

I twisted so that I could properly face him, “Ask away.” “How did they happen?” “I was born with them, actually. I’ve got this thing called the X-gene, it’s supposed to manifest at puberty but for me it activated when I was really young,” I ran a hand through my hair, “Imagine being five years old and having blue come out of your fingers when you were reaching for a juice box.” A miracle occurred and Bucky’s lips actually quirked up in a half smile. It encouraged me to keep talking. “My mom wanted to take me to this school for kids like me but my dad forbade it. He kept saying that it was too dangerous and that somebody could find me. It was like he didn’t realize that it was a refuge for people with powers, not a hunting ground,” I paused, flashing back to arguments between my parents of which one of them actually knew what was best for me. “So instead, I just taught myself how to control them. There were a couple incidents but other than that, I’ve kept them under lock and key for a long time.”

Bucky had remained still and fascinated as I spoke, switching between watching my eyes and my lips. Suddenly it felt like nothing had ever gone on between us. We were just fellow soldiers or co-workers having a conversation outside of work.

“What do they think now? Your parents?” he asked, the ease of the moment slipping away with a simple question. He couldn’t have known the minefield he was stepping into.

“My mom doesn’t know yet that I told Sam,” I sighed deeply, inhaling strength and exhaling bad memories, “And my dad killed himself when I was a kid.” “Oh,” Bucky’s eyebrows lifted, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried into-“

“No, no, it’s fine…” I waved him off, “Whether I want it to be or not, it’s a part of me. He was in the service and when he returned, he was diagnosed with severe PTSD. I was so young when he came home that I don’t really have any memories of him before it happened. He had all the classic symptoms; flashbacks, nightmares, paranoia, fits of anger, at some point he even stopped believing that he was a good father and husband,” I tear slipped down my cheek, “That was around the time it happened. We tried for so long to help him but the trauma consumed him. Every day he was just doing his best to survive himself.” I glanced up at Bucky to find that his eyes were just as watery as mine. It hadn’t dawned on me that I was telling him everything that he already knew about what happened when someone returned from war. He was living it out right now. 

“I’m not trying to strike any nerves but…in that session tonight, I saw how much you were holding in. With Sam, with me…” I started, praying I wasn’t going to end up pushing him further away, “I’ve seen what bottling things up and isolating yourself can do to a person and it’s a hell I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I know you don’t trust me yet but…if you ever do need somebody to talk to…I can’t understand your experiences, but I can recognize some of it.” Bucky truly looked lost, like he’d never been in the position of receiving such an offer. His face, usually so hardened, had softened so much he was almost unrecognizable. And yet there was still some barrier, some pain weaved between the hope and vulnerability that kept him from receiving my kindness with open arms. In the session, the pain I had seen in his eyes reminded me so desperately of that in my father’s eyes. If I didn’t try to help him, that look would haunt me for a long time.

“Thank you,” he finally said, his voice raspy enough to make me shiver. We sat there in the dark, both our walls we’d built around ourselves starting to crumble as we chipped away at one another. There was some feeling I couldn’t put a name to that had settled over us. The eyes that I’d avoided all day were now all I could focus on, digging into the deep blue pools and feeling like I could lay down my sword there. If we were going to get through this mission, we needed to be friends at least and I felt confidant we were on the path.

Bucky eventually cleared his throat, shaking me from my thoughts that he was at the center of. “We’re gonna be to Berlin soon, you should get some sleep.”

Internally, I smiled at the familiarity, it was almost word for word what he’d told me the other night. Only now the hostility had been dropped.

“You need it too,” I replied as he rose and made his way across the plane, “Goodnight, Barnes.” I curled up in a ball near Sam’s feet, praying he didn’t kick me in his sleep. I had just shut my eyes to try when a voice spoke up, “Bucky.”

“Hmm?” I opened one eye to see him lay back down on the floor, attempting to get comfortable.

“Call me Bucky.”

I pursed my lips slightly to decrease the size of my smile, I wasn’t the only one laying down their weapons. “Alright. Goodnight, Bucky.”

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A/N: There’s something so powerful about name dropping Wanda Maximoff and Y/n having been besties with Steve Rogers lol. Hope you all enjoy, let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged! 

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