#this fandom caused me so much grief

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

The leaks have confirmed that Joe Alwyn NEVER cheated.

For the people who have been accusing Joe of cheating and using that as justification to harass his co-workers - Emma Laird and Alison Oliver - what have you got to say now?

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

I'm the anon! I wasn't meaning you specifically. I actually think you've been doing an amazing job at stating the facts without letting biases show one way or another. Mostly I'm referring to some tags I saw and the salty post, in addition to YEARS of seeing people on twitter acting snobbish and like the western fandom (in particular after the 7s novels came out) are lesser, ignorant, or a plague. Might've been a bit of projection on my part but the aforementioned notes and comments from others in your posts reminded me of those attitudes (or how if unchecked they could become as rancid). My bad that I didn't clarify specifically what I meant. I love your posts and that's why I would hate to see them be used by bad faith actors to delegitimize "western" voices. Yes, we need to be humble and come from a place of being open to learning and not imposing our pov, but it's also unfair when we're being subject to higher standards and scrutiny that other non-english speaking parts of the fandom are.

Ahh I see!

Even though SVSSS is a Chinese novel written primarily for Chinese readers, the fandom itself is massively diverse. All sorts of different people from everywhere in the world have found things they enjoy about this book, and it means a lot to them— and I think that’s neat.

No one should be made to feel like they have no place in the fandom, or aren’t allowed to create fanworks. No matter where you come from, what your background is, there’s no reason you can’t be an equal part of the fandom — and yes, this also includes western fandom.

One other thing: there is nothing wrong with ignorance itself either. Everyone is ignorant of everything until they learn. If western fandom is ignorant, but they are trying to learn things, then what good is beating people down going to do? Only take any joy out of learning, only creating bitterness.

Western fandom is still SVSSS fandom, still people who enjoy this book.

It’s important to remember this is for fun. All of this, all fan creations and fandom in general is because a bunch of people from all sorts of backgrounds all liked one novel. As a Chinese person, I really love that people actually care to learn about Chinese culture through things like this. To see people genuinely interested in a positive way, it’s really nice!! It’s refreshing, and while my own life experiences make me quite wary of westernization, it also gives me an appreciation for this genuine interest, and this embracing of learning. I’ve seen much more instances of western fandom actually wanting to learn and being interested and curious than being willfully ignorant.

Everyone has a place in fandom, no matter if Western, Chinese, or anyone else. There’s nothing good that will come of gatekeeping people’s enjoyment of a book or participation in fandom.

[yayakoishii]

Want | Sanji x Chubby! Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Chubby! Reader

WC: 5.5k

Genre: Fluff, slight Angst

Warnings: Sexual harrasment, derogatory terms for chubby people, mentions of blood, insecurities that lead to a bit of light self derogation (Please remember you're absolutely beautiful as you are <3)

A/n: The response on Hunger is insane. Over 700 likes?! I didn't expect much beyond a few 10-20 likes, thank you for all the love 😭 This is another self indulgent fic, more personal to me because I'm chubby myself so... I'm not super proud of the pacing tbh, but it's still pretty good, in my (biased) opinion, haha. I hope you enjoy it!!! ♡

also available on ao3!

When you joined the Straw Hat crew, you didn't expect to fall in love with the blonde chef.

Actually, when you joined them, you weren't in the mindset to think about love and silly crushes. Your island had been destroyed by the Marines for a 'good cause' and despite the Straw Hats' best attempt, you were the only remaining survivor. Luffy kindly offered you a place on his crew, and you joined as an assistant to Chopper, slowly learning from him.

The first few weeks after you joined were tough for you, who had never travelled outside of your island. It took time to get used to the environmental changes along with the emotional grief of losing all your loved ones. The crew tried their best to cheer you up in their own ways, and you would forever be grateful for every one of them for at least trying, even if their methods weren't the most effective for you. It was the thought and the sentiment behind it that counted.

But what did work for you was… food. Ever since you were a child, you had loved food and it was the way you connected to life. Though you were not the greatest cook out there, you were capable of making things that were edible and quite good at times. On the ship though, you never had to cook, because Sanji would always do all the cooking. Whenever you offered to help, to take your mind off the pain you were feeling, he would kindly decline, saying that he would make you whatever you wanted.

But he couldn't. The dishes from your island were not recipes known quite to the rest of the world. Hell, even you didn't know all of them, save for some of your favourite foods that you had learnt from your mother. So you snuck in after dinner and made a dish from your hometown. It wasn't the best food you ever cooked, but it still meant something to you, because you were reminded of home.

You wrote down all the recipes you knew into a book, and kept it close. Whenever you missed your home, you would sneak into the kitchen at night and make yourself something with your wonky cooking skills that made the dish taste different every time. Still, the familiarity was enough to comfort you and let you wallow in the grief at the same time.

Until one day, you couldn't find your book.

"Nami?" You called unsurely to the navigator, who was lying on the deck under shade next to Robin. Behind them, Sanji was serving drinks. The three looked at you in question and suddenly under the scrutiny, your confidence faltered. "Um, uh.. d- did you see a journal somewhere? I can't find mine…"

"The brown one?" She asked, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. You nodded frantically, hoping she knew. "I don't think I did. Did you check under your bed?"

"I did," you whispered, feeling the sadness wash over you again. It's not like you didn't still remember the recipes, but your memory wasn't the best. Without the book, it would be hard to remember them all.

"Don't worry, we'll find it," Nami got up and reassured you, looking concerned. "Sanji. Robin."

The two of them nodded along and then the four of you were searching for it everywhere, until Sanji had to excuse himself apologetically because he had to go cook lunch. You could only nod, trying not to get down in the dumps again over a book, but it felt a little hopeless. Until you heard Sanji shout from the kitchen. The three of you ran over to find him scolding Luffy, your journal in his hand.

"I just wanted to see what was in it!" Luffy pouted, his rubbery hands swinging around to try and get it back.

"That's an invasion of privacy, Luffy!" Sanji looked angry, but you were too relieved about the fact that you had found the book to get upset with Luffy.

"It's okay," you said, reaching forward to get the book. "It's just… recipes, Luffy. From my hometown."

There was silence in the kitchen for a few seconds and Luffy's face dropped into a serious look.

"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I thought… If I knew how to help you, you'd be happier."

It made you laugh softly, your heart warm at his kind intentions.

"Thank you, Captain," you smiled at him, eyes crinkling into crescent moons. "I am happy here. I just… miss my home, sometimes."

He wrapped you into a hug and Nami ruffled your hair a little. You smiled under the attention, holding the book close. Sanji for once was quiet, just staring at the book thoughtfully, though you didn't notice it then.

A few days after that event, Sanji called you to the kitchen before lunchtime. Curiously, you followed him to find… a plate of your favourite dish from your hometown. It was plated beautifully, making it look fancy and yet it still had that homey feeling to it. Sanji didn't say a word, just held out the chair for you to sit. You sat down in a daze, too focused on the smell of it lingering in the room.

It smelled like home.

And when you tasted it, you burst into tears. Because it tasted like home. It tasted exactly like your mom's. All the tears you had held back to not worry the crew were now spilling out without any end but you didn't care. Here, where only Sanji could see you, you let it all out. He didn't say anything, just placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and squeezed to let you know he's there for you. You turned around to face him, but the tears made it all blurry. Knocking your head against his stomach, you cried harder.

Sanji just held your head, carding fingers through your hair in comfort, offering you a handkerchief. That, you realised later, was the moment your feelings for Sanji began.

✿

After that day, you became a lot happier. Somehow, without words, just eating the food that Sanji made was enough to heal your broken heart bit by bit. Sometimes, he made extra because Luffy was curious and wanted to taste it too; and then the whole crew wanted it so Sanji made a few of your dishes for dinner. In that moment, surrounded by the smell of home, around your new family, your heart finally started healing.

You started noticing Sanji everywhere after you got used to life on the Thousand Sunny. From the small things he does, to the loud expressions of love he made, everything about him seemed wonderful and warm to you. Because you knew that beneath his overt affections for all the ladies, he was an infinitely kind, caring and observant person. How were you supposed to not fall for him, when he went above and beyond for you?

And yet, for all his admissions of love, you never believed that he could truly like you back like you felt for him. You were after all, not the prettiest girl around and you knew that. You were not slim like Nami or Robin, and it's not like you absolutely hated your soft and squishy body. But you wondered if Sanji would like you even though you weren't pretty.

All that self consciousness went out the window every time you were in his presence. He never made you feel less, or ugly– in fact, the way he spoke to you always left you a blushing mess. He made you feel special, and in the moment, it would be enough. Until you saw him fawning over Nami or Robin, and then the sneaky voice in your brain would whisper quiet thoughts comparing you to them. You had no chance with him, and you knew that.

And that was fine. You could live with that, couldn't you? You had to, because wanting more than you should never ended well. All it would leave behind is rejection, hurt and awkwardness. So you pressed down the feelings and acted as normally as you could.

The moment you realised that you loved Sanji was probably a memory you would never forget. Although it was unforgettable for you, it probably wasn't particularly that unique to others. That didn't matter to you because it was a memory you cherished ultimately.

It happened when the ship docked on a peaceful little island. Everyone else was going out to enjoy their time, and you wanted to spend that time with Sanji. So, casually, you made your request.

"Sanji?" Your timid utterance of his name got an instant reaction from the chef, who straightened up and looked at you with hearts in his eyes.

"Yes, (y/n)-chan?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Um, you're gonna go grocery shopping, right?" You had seen Nami complaining while handing him the money for the shopping.

"That's right," he leaned closer, almost too close but not quite into your personal bubble. Still, the proximity was enough for you to smell the mild smell of his perfume that left you a little weak in the knees. "Did you want me to get something for you, sweetheart?"

"I just," you hesitated, suddenly scared that he might realise your feelings and get disgusted. No, Sanji wasn't like that, you had to remind yourself. He would never treat you unkindly, even if he knew your feelings. "I heard you always do it alone. I thought you might enjoy some company?"

The hearts in Sanji's eyes disappeared as he stared at you like you were speaking gibberish for a few seconds. Under the intensity of that stare, you fidgeted and waited for his response.

"You're too kind, (y/n)-chan!" He finally cried, holding up your hands in his own bigger and colder ones. You flushed at the action, stammering out an actual gibberish response this time before you were whisked away by the blonde chef to town.

It felt all too much like a date to you, when you walked next to him. Sanji somehow made grocery shopping fun, or maybe that was just because of how much you liked him that anything with him was enjoyable? It didn't matter, you decided, because whichever it was, you couldn't deny that Sanji was equivalent to the sun on a cold day.

He enthusiastically showed you around, as if you were a tourist and he were a guide (when in fact, it was the first time in this town for both of you) causing you to giggle. Whenever you stopped to buy things, he would humour your curious questions on how to pick which vegetable and what cuts of which meat are the best. It felt awfully like a domestic date, one that made you smile when you imagined doing this with Sanji years down the line every week.

"And that's the last of it!" Sanji said happily, picking up the last bag. He was holding all the bags since the start, despite your insistence and now you were anxious, seeing him hold so many bags in his hands.

"Sanji, let me hold a few," you tried again, hands reaching out to take some of them. But Sanji just turned around so you couldn't reach the bags and grinned down at you.

"Nonsense, how could I let such a delicate lady hold such heavy bags?" His words made you flush in embarrassment. You were not delicate in any sense; surely, Sanji knew that too. And in spite of all his sincerity, the word just felt like it was mocking you.

"I'm… not…," you struggled to say, not wanting to argue but unable to keep it in either. With your chubby frame, no one had ever considered you as delicate.

"Let me do this for you, my love," Sanji's voice was soft and infinitely gentle, as if he was indeed holding something fragile in his hands. "I wouldn't feel good letting you carry anything when I'm more than capable."

"But Sanji!" you lightly whined, wringing your hands. "I don't feel good letting you carry all the burden either! Come on, just a few bags?"

Before Sanji could respond, you heard a scared squeak. Your brows furrowed and you looked around the marketplace, finding a man cornering a girl a few feet behind Sanji. She seemed uncomfortable and he was all in her personal space, saying something in a rough, sleazy voice that gave you shivers.

You were not a fighter, but the instinct to protect her overtook the rational part of your brain and you crossed the distance to where they were. Pushing him back, you stood in front of the girl to block her from him.

"Can't you see she's uncomfortable?" You said coldly. "Back off."

The man took an involuntary step back until his eyes fell on you. He reeked of alcohol and smoke and you felt like puking from the putrid stench coming off him but you held it together, trying to come off as more confident than you felt. His eyes roamed over your body shamelessly, and you felt dirty and uncomfortable from the action.

"Don't get in our business, fatty," he grinned, the smell of alcohol doubling the moment he opened his mouth. "Are you jealous that no one will ever give you the attention she's getting?"

The words stabbed you in the gut, even though you knew rationally that you were better off without the bad attention. That was the one perk of being conventionally average in looks– no one really looked at you, in good ways or bad. Or maybe you had just been lucky so far. But hearing him call you that, saying those words, even from someone like him, it hurt a small part of you. Before you could respond, a leg in black slacks came up and kicked the man down with such a force that everybody around paused, shocked by the sudden action.

Even you stepped back automatically, gasping when you saw that it was Sanji, still balancing all the bags perfectly while he had roundhouse kicked the man into the ground with so much force that you could see his teeth had become bloody and he was on the verge of unconsciousness.

"(Y/n)-chan doesn't need the attention of sewer rats like you," he said calmly, straightening back into position smoothly. "Her beauty only deserves the best of the best."

The sight of Sanji saying that with a calm face, his hair slightly tousled, his hands balancing the bags and his leg muscles rippling under the slacks – that image was imprinted in your heart and brain for the rest of your life. The words sent you into a shock, but when they finally processed, you couldn't deny the overwhelming realisation that crashed into you.

You love Sanji.

It wasn't just a silly crush, or something that could go away if you gave it time. The chef had unknowingly carved himself a place into your heart. He was taking over it, chamber by chamber.

"Sanji…" The word came out as a whisper, inaudible under the din of the market as people were talking about what was going on. You snapped out of it when you felt the girl behind you shuffle and you immediately squashed your thoughts down to examine them later. You turned around and asked her, "Are you okay?"

She looked very alarmed and upset, but she still shot you a grateful smile as she murmured, "Yes, thanks to you two."

"He didn't hurt you?" You asked, hands hovering over her as you looked to ensure if she was safe. A peek of crimson caught your eye when she raised her hand to rub her face. Her elbows had scraped against the rough brick wall in his tousling. "You have some scratches!"

"Oh," she turned her arms to look at the wounds, now feeling the burn after the adrenaline and fear response was receding.

"Come on, I'll treat it for you," you offered, opening your sling bag which had some emergency first aid. You usually carried it around for the members when you were off the ship, knowing that they were all too reckless to give a second thought to any wounds.

"Oh, no, no, I couldn't trouble you more!" She said, mortified but you gently shook your head, offering her a hand.

"It's no trouble," you reassured her. It took a little bit of convincing but she eventually calmed down and let you clean up the wound before you parted. Finally, you allowed yourself to look at Sanji, who immediately schooled his features so you wouldn't see the warm adoring look he was giving you the whole time. "Sanji… Are you okay too? You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"Do you think I'm that weak, sweetheart?" He smiled teasingly, but you felt the need to defend yourself.

"I know you are strong," you insisted, worrying your lower lip as you tried to look him straight in the eyes but kept getting flustered. "But even strong people get wounds. Just because they are strong, doesn't mean that they don't feel the pain. So tell me honestly, Sanji. Are you hurt anywhere?'

"No," he promised. "But if you're that worried, I'll let you check me all out back on the ship."

He ended that with a wink, and this time, you couldn't hold back the flush threatening to overtake your face again. Sanji couldn't help making the mood light again, but he had no idea of the effect his words had on you.

"Stupid," you weakly pawed at his arm, walking away before he could say anything. The blonde chef just laughed and followed you, face once again soft and fond as he watched you.

✿

Sanji may have been one of the only people onboard who was oblivious to your feelings, because a few of them did figure it out after watching the way you interacted with him. The first ones to realise were Nami and Robin, who called you out on it when the three of you were lying under the shade on the sunny deck.

"Really?" Nami had scrunched her nose, eyes critically analysing Sanji as he walked (danced, really) back to the kitchens after serving drinks to the three of you.

"Really what?" You asked, too busy sipping the cool drink to notice that she had noticed the way you had warmly thanked Sanji and given him a bright smile.

"Sanji?" Nami gave you a pointed look. The name made you freeze, and you tried to play it off.

"What about him?"

"Oh, come on!" Nami threw the slice of lemon that was on her drink. You caught it before it could fall on your shirt and muttered an indignant 'hey!' that the navigator ignored. "You like him, don't you?"

The words were enough to make you hide your face in embarrassment. Robin was smiling knowingly from the other side of Nami and you felt exposed, like they had both just turned you inside out.

"I do," you whispered after the few minutes of silent mortification that Nami had spent in self satisfaction.

"Why that loser though?" She said without any real bite. You knew she wasn't actually demeaning him; it was affectionate, in the way one would talk about their sibling's lovelife.

"Because!" You whispered, eyes running everywhere to check if no one else was around to hear you. "Have you looked at him? He's literally so pretty! He is kind, caring, and so, so thoughtful and generous. Without expecting anything in return, he is always giving and giving and he makes my stomach do silly things. He has curly eyebrows, Nami! I didn't think those could look good on anyone. Hell, I know I would look ugly with them, but he makes it work! It suits him, and he's so beautiful and I'm just–"

You collapsed onto your chair, your wet fingers from the condensation on the drink glass finding purchase in the dips of your face to hide it. Just talking about him was enough to get your heart beating fast, and the mortification of what you had just spilled to the two girls made you want the ground to swallow you already.

"You really like him," Robin's soft observation made you relax. She wasn't teasing you. You turned to look at her and caught the comforting smile she was sending your way.

"I was going to say you could do better," Nami turned to face you, swinging her feet around to your side, "but after hearing all that, I think… You two are perfect for each other. Despite all his antics, he has a good heart. And you'll be good for him, because you see him as he is."

"Yeah?" You couldn't help the small flower of hope blossoming in your chest.

"Really," Nami smiled, a rare genuine smile that was usually reserved for late night talks and reassurances in down times.

"You don't think…." You trailed off, fidgeting with the hem of your top, "he won't… find me good enough?"

"Are you crazy?" Nami snorted, picking up her drink. The melted ice had made the level go up so much that it was threatening to spill any moment. "You're better than anything he could dream of. I told you, didn't I? You would be good for him. Having someone like you in his life to ground him, I think there's nothing better than that. You're one of the sweetest people I have ever met. If anyone here isn't good enough, it's him."

"Hey now," you frowned, ready to defend Sanji but hearing his voice stopped you.

"Who isn't good enough for (y/n)-chan?" His face was stuck in a weird smile, like he was forcing it. He carefully placed the plate of pastries he had brought as he continued casually despite the silence, "I don't know who we are talking about but Nami-chan is right. No one is good enough for our lovely (y/n)-chan."

"Oh, look at that!" You hurriedly switched the topic, looking at the plate he had brought. The tiny pastries were adorable and colourful, looking so delicious that it would have made your mouth water if you weren't distracted at the moment. "This looks so good, Sanji. Seriously, if you keep feeding me like this, my weight will keep increasing!"

The last line became a teasing complaint, but you didn't expect Sanji to come to the side of your chair and lean down to where you were tilted. The proximity caused your eyes to widen, the blood thundering in your ears as he carefully tucked in a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, face so soft and warm that it make your insides feel like they were vibrating.

"All the more for me to love, so I would keep winning, wouldn't I, sweetheart?"

You choked, and the need to get away from him before you did something wild like grab him and kiss him got so much that your knee accidentally shot up and into Sanji's back, pushing him forward. The chef's eyes widened at the sudden attack, but he managed to not collapse on you by quickly holding onto the sides of the chair but now you were trapped in between his arms on top of the close proximity.

It made you so weak in the knees, and there was something hot and warm curling in your gut as you stammered gibberish, feeling like you were about to faint because Sanji's chest was practically touching yours and it was all too much.

"SORRY!" He hurriedly backed off the moment he got his bearings, and for the first time since you had come onboard, you saw him have a genuinely heavily flushed face. There was a little blood starting to leak from one of his nostrils and somehow, it helped you calm down. He was just as affected as you were. The idea was enough to lessen your embarrassment by a little.

"I'm the one who's sorry, Sanji," you said remorsefully, hiding your face completely in your hands this time. "I kicked you!"

"It wasn't on purpose," he said, right hand coming up to hide the blush on his own face. "I'm sorry for… for making you uncomfortable, (y/n)-chan!"

Uncomfortable? Did Sanji have any clue just how comfortable you actually felt? The problem wasn't that you were uncomfortable in the proximity; it was that you were too comfortable, to the point that you never wanted to leave. But that would be a dead giveaway of your feelings, right?

"Okay, this is just painful to watch now," Nami sighed, jolting the two of you. You had nearly forgotten that she and Robin were right there, and they had seen everything. She looked at you unhappily, mouth set in a tight line. "How about you two get a room and make out there?"

"Nami!" You cried out. She really just gave away your crush like that?!

"Just be grateful I'm not demanding money to make up for what I just had to witness," she sniffed haughtily, swinging her legs back onto the chair and pulling down her sunglasses. "Seriously, you two, go talk shit out. Or else, knowing you, you will just be awkward around each other and that's gonna be even more painful to watch."

She wasn't totally wrong. You were planning to avoid him, possibly by jumping off the Sunny and drowning to death since you didn't know how to swim. But that wasn't really a solution and even you could admit that.

"W- What's there to talk-?" Sanji seemed a little scared, wide eyes glancing between the three of you. Nami ignored him, and you were too flustered to look him in the eyes. Nami's suggestion was essentially for you to come clean, wasn't it? But that was easier said than done. The fear of rejection and the eventual awkwardness was gripping your insides in a chokehold, and you couldn't move your feet even if you tried.

"Sanji," Robin said calmly. "Pick up (y/n) and go to the kitchen."

"Huh?" You were startled at her words. Pick you up?! No way! "No, no way, I'm too… I'm too heavy, there's no need for that!" Even as you said that, you couldn't actually bring yourself to move.

"I don't really get it," Sanji admitted, looking between the three of you as he spoke, "but I can do that. (Y/n)-chan?"

"No, Sanji–" the protests died down the moment he bent down and picked you up like you weighed nothing. Even as he walked you across the deck, you couldn't help but think that it was kind of hot just how easily he picked you up. "Sanji…"

He didn't look at you until you were in the kitchen and the door was closed behind the two of you. He walked over to the table and then carefully placed you on it, as if you were a teacup made of fine china teetering with tea. Finally, he let his clear blue eyes stare down at you, the expression on his face more vulnerable and exposed than you had ever seen on him.

"Sanji?"

"I know I made you uncomfortable," he said quietly, backing away. His hands came up to rub away the blood but it only made it spread around and you winced at seeing that. You never wanted to see any blood on Sanji, if you could help it. "I touched your… you. It wasn't my intention, I swear! I just, I wanted, I–"

He abruptly shut up, looking frustrated with himself.

"Sanji."

He didn't look up, fists clenching at his side the moment you said his name.

"Come here, Sanji," you whispered, holding out your hands to beckon him closer. His eyes flickered over your face, as if trying to gauge out what you were feeling, even as he followed through your request without a second thought. You pulled out the handkerchief he had given you long back, and wiped away the blood over his upper lip and cheeks carefully before you picked up his hand. The thumb was bloody too, so you gently held the limb in one of your hands and wiped it with the other. "You didn't make me uncomfortable, Sanji."

He stayed quiet as you continued to wipe it until it was all gone.

"Didn't I?" He said the moment you were done.

"No," you said, looking up at him. You didn't let go of the hand, though you dropped the handkerchief beside you. Somehow, holding his hand seemed to give you the courage to make the admission Nami had told you to. "I… Sanji, I like you. A lot more than I ever thought it was possible to feel towards someone. I like you so much that it physically hurts when I see you flirting with other women. I like you so much that my heart feels warm whenever you are around, and I feel so safe in your arms that I never want to leave. I like it when you are close to me. But I know that you don't like me like that, so whenever you get so close, and I can't help but want you so much, it's painful for me. I never want to let you go."

Sanji's eyes darkened with every word you spoke, a gradual change that you didn't notice at first because you were all in over your head. His hands hovered around your waist as you finished.

"Who told you?" His voice was a little hoarse, and he cleared his throat the moment he realised how desperate he sounded.

"Told me what?" You asked timidly, looking down at your lap.

"That I don't like you?" Sanji's voice was a broken whisper like yours had been. "I have never heard anything more untrue than that. All this time, I wanted you but I kept my feelings to myself. Because you deserve so much, so much more than I am, so much more than I can give. I wanted and I wanted and I felt so greedy, wanting more and more of you, more than you would let me have– I wanted anything you were ready to give, and I also wanted everything you have to give. I thought you wouldn't want someone like me, when there are so many better options around for you–"

"What?" You couldn't help but laugh. All his words were making you delirious; this had to be some wild dream you had conjured up. It didn't feel real. None of it did. "I had better options around? Sanji, I was so sure you would never look twice at me! I never felt like I was pretty enough, or good enough to get your attention and you're telling me… I had better options? That's so–"

You kept laughing, body shaking from the weight of the laughter. Sanji stared at you, unsure hands still hovering around you. His fingers twitched from holding back the urge to pull you into him.

"You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen," he mumbled. "Not good enough to get my attention? Darling, you have had all of my attention ever since I met you. No other woman could compare to you from the moment you made your place in my heart known."

"Did I really have all your attention?" You asked, letting your insecurities bubble up. Now that you were both being honest, it was better to get it all out of the way, right? "Even when you looked at the other women…"

"I never looked at them the way I did you," his words were sincere, and in that moment, they were enough. You looked up at him, and your body broke into shivers the moment you realised the heat in his eyes as he stared down at you; like you were some unique dish he was finally getting the chance to eat after years of craving it.

"I didn't want the other options, Sanji," you whispered, the volume enough for the proximity you were in. "The only one I ever wanted was you."

You held his collars and pulled him in, and it was like he finally snapped, now that he had permission. His hands immediately grasped at your sides, gently holding the soft flesh there as he kissed you. And now it was your time to give and give, while he took from you like your lips were spilling with ambrosia and he was determined to get every drop. His warm breath fanned over your lips and the goosebumps on your skin rose again, your fingers tightening around the collars of his shirt.

When he let your lips go, he was greeted with the sight of your flushed and pleasantly buzzed expression, like you were drunk on him. Seeing you like that, because of him, it was enough to get him groaning.

"So beautiful," he whispered, leaving feather light kisses all over your face. "So gorgeous. All for me. All… for me to have?"

"Yeah," you whispered, looking up at him and seeing the devastated yet over-the-moon expression on Sanji's face. Even without words, he could always just cleave into your heart and press himself within its walls like they were made to fit him, and only him. "You can be greedy. Take all you want. I'm all yours."

°•❀•°

[michaelsgavin]

I still have vivid memories of watching Rage Quit at midnight in a room I shared with friends in junior college, trying my best not to wake them up with my laughter. The year was 2012. My whole body shook as I tried to stifle what could've been a howling laughter, and I'm pretty sure my friend on the bunk bed above me woke up anyway. The next day, I went through the entire playlist for Rage Quit.

A year after that, I moved across the globe for my degree. I was alone, homesick, and miserable -- plunged into unfamiliar territories and culture, I had a hard time making friends. At my worst, I was severely depressed, lying in my bed for hours, not caring if I was alive or not. I only survived because of the friends I made here, in the rtah fandom, who held my hands through my loneliness.

I think my story, though the details may vary, is a lot of other people's stories, too.

I'm sure we all have complicated feelings about RTAH's death. I do. A lot of its decisions and fuck ups have caused me great pains and I firmly believe this company's death is long overdue. But it has also brought me so much joy as a teen and allowed me to meet so many of my dearest friends -- the bad never quite overshadowed the good, just breathing side-by-side, in grief.

Farewell, Rooster Teeth. You helped me through the lowest points of my life and you gave me some of its best -- laughing at the Surgeon Simulator Rage Quit, waiting for the next Immersion episode to drop, building a whole new universe of Fake AH Crew with the fandom, voting for the IB Podcast win another podcast award, making 20 different gifs of the same moments between Michael and Gavin.

I wish we could've parted in better ways. I'll never forget being 16, staying up until 2am with my friends to watch a dude eat 12 lava cakes for a donation to a children's hospital. Thank you, in spite of everything.

Cue Good Riddance by Green Day.

[collisiondiscourse]

Hello I just saw your art of the different Kacchans and now I desperately need a list of bkdk fanfic recs from you

IVE BEEN PSYCHICALLY BEGGING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME THIS THANK FUCK!!!!! ok SO. i have my own particular lists of fic recs. theyre all organized in diff ways depending on how im feeling, but for the sake of aligning with the fics i rec'd in that post, im gonna suggest long and plotty fics!

warning that some of these fics have triggering topics and/or are nsfw! so be sure to read the tags n protect yourself as needed ^^ all fics have a wordcount of 5+ digits

FIRST you got the fandom classics. the way you used to do, incinerate, zero: birth of the worlds best hero duo, and fire lily -- these are all EXTREMELY plot heavy n angsty, meaning you'd kinda need a break right?

SO then you have your fluff monsters. surprise reunions and childhood rekindling and you left a sour aftertaste by my wife, @lady-of-snails, sugar stardust, and dance with me

then you move on to the canon divergents! not too much of an AU to leave heroes, but enough to alter the plot. before midnight, second chance, landscape after cruelty, and while you were sleeping,

and then then THEN you get to the REAL AUs. the shit thats out of scope. fluff monsters were kind of these, but i had to separate it cause these next ones are ANGST BEASTS.... someone borrowed, mechanical bull, and beyond sea and storm

but at the end of the day, we all gotta return to the basics at some point right? so here i end it with the naturally fluffy (relatively shorter) canon compliants and future aus. grief counseling, play it cool, do not disturb, and sneku

[superstar-adora]

I think there is something so interesting about how other people in the life series(and the fandom) talk about joel. Especially how grian of all people talks about him in these final moments.

“Yeah you see…Joel reaches a point where he just loses his mind completely.”

Alot of people take that line and run with it. I think it’s important to take the line that comes after.

“Jimmys death has kinda had an adverse effect on him.”

This line perfectly explains Joel’s actions this season. And it perfectly explains why Grian couldn’t handle Joel anymore. Joel wasn’t crazy, Joel was scared. And I believe in me that Grian knows this.

There is even a line before that.

“I’ve been making new friends cause you lost your mind.”

His acts of insanity come with the grief. He states that all he’s doing is for Jimmy. Grian takes kills from Joel, and never considers the consequences, because to him Joel is a dead man.

Joel is silent as Jimmy falls the first time. He screams to get Jimmy more time and attacks The Family to get them low so it could be a easy kill. Grian suggests stealing a kill from Jimmy, and Joel Declines without hestitating. If Joel had truly lost it, he would have stolen that time.

He gives the TNT minecart to Jimmy! He killed him! And he was in shock. He didn’t get the time. He only got the guilt.

He has never cared for someone so much, maybe grian saw this as the warning sign. He suggested killing himself just to be the proper first one out. Maybe grian just couldn’t accept that Jimmy and Him made Joel kind, and that’s what killed him. Joel killed indirectly Jimmy, and he indirectly killed Joel. It’s easier to let someone go if you think they are bloodthirsty.

Joel was not out for blood this season. Joel was not the villain. Joel went out terrified. Joel went out heartbroken. He was hunted. That is out of character for him and screams “Jimmy is dead, you can’t take me out too.” He wasn’t ready to face jimmy yet. Scott, Scar, and Martyn hunted him brutally. This was not normal for him at all.

[autistichalsin]

If you were Halsin’s writer (which you pretty much are for the fandom girlies) what’s a scenario/memory that he would have found himself in as a younger elf? Either a kiddo, or a cynical 150yo or right after the Shadow Curse began

care to throw together a bit of lore? 🙌🏼

YOU GUYS. You guys have to stop saying things that make me blush and kick my feet like this!!!! <333333

Hmm. So based on the ask I'm guessing you're wanting something angsty? I'm not sure how detailed I can think of on the fly without writing an entire fic, but here's how I see his little arc with outgrowing cynicism:

His descent definitely started with losing his family*. They were kind. They were loving. They taught him everything about nature. His older brothers always put up with him chasing after, and once his younger sisters arrived, they were glued to his side, always demanding stories and games, and he always pretended to be annoyed but secretly loved it. They were everything to him and he had to watch as, one by one, they got sick and died, or in two instances, had tragic accidents. Yes, he found the Druids soon after, but it didn't change that he was the only Silverbough left, the last of an ancient line of elves and they weren't there.(This was also his first brush with survivor guilt. Why him and not the oldest brother, or the youngest sister?)

Getting abducted as a young Druid was another catalyst. It took the pain of grief and survivor guilt and added something else. He knew cruelty- even wood elves weren't immune, let alone the Grove. And he'd certainly heard stories about the Drow, their raids of surface elf communities and the sadism of Lolth followers. But there was cruelty, and then there was cruelty. The kind of depravity that caused him to see decorations that were once elves, that caused him to be constantly degraded and mocked and used. (Not coincidentally, this brush with cynicism was marred with survivor guilt; the two are linked VERY closely for him.) It was one thing to lose his family to tragic twists of fate, but to see so much murder, to experience the pain of rape and abuse, was something else entirely.

That shook his faith for the longest time in the redeemability of sentient beings; it was years before he'd leave wildshape for anything not strictly necessary. It was then that he started thinking of himself more as a bear than as an elf. Bears weren't good or evil. They just were. And that was his refuge for years until he was ready to be a person again. A very cynical person, bitter but also unfailingly kind. The person who would say the world is an awful, doomed place while still doing everything in his power to make it less so for the people he cared for.

What caused him to break free? No one thing, but many things. Thaniel's continued friendship. Helping a sick, tired human deliver a baby. Rescuing a bear cub from a poacher and gaining a friendship that rested the rest of the bear's long, spoiled life. The quiet "I'm so proud of you, you'll go so far"s from the previous Archdruid as Halsin rose through the ranks at the Grove and became an unparalleled healer. The lovers he found through the years, never lasting long, but always full of warmth and intensity. Gaining the courage to start adventuring again, to the Nelanther Isles, to communities of other wood elves, and always learning something worthwhile. His books, even if his heart wasn't truly with scholarly pursuits, providing him the knowledge he couldn't always find in the real world. Finding a new, steady place for himself in the world, and growing strong on his own- and strong enough, like a sturdy oak, to provide shelter and protection for those he cared for. The more distance he put between himself and his captivity, the stronger he became. (Unfortunately, the distance also caused him to downplay the trauma increasingly; he opened up to few, deliberately, and with no one to remind him it was okay to have his feelings, he started displacing them.)

The Shadow Curse nearly caused him to relapse back into it. The combination of loss and fear and the addiction spiral he nearly fell into with the honey mead were a perfect storm. But by then, at 250 years old, Halsin knew himself well enough to see himself sinking, and he didn't want to be where he was back then. He still felt the pain. But the thing is that cynicism and optimism don't always have to be diametrically opposed. They both combine to form the basis for realism. Optimism is choosing to believe the best, pessimism is choosing the believe the worst, and realism is choosing to look at the two extremes and conclude the likeliest outcome is somewhere between them. And that was the approach Halsin took. Rather than writing the world off as a hopeless place, he acknowledged the suffering, then sought off in search of what he could change.

There is a note you can find in the game where he laments the Emerald Enclave refused to send help for the Curse, but adds that he would continue to try, and he might not have to face the darkness alone. That very much sums up Halsin's approach, even as he was hurting (to the point that some of his after-the-fact descriptions to the player sound remarkably like he was suffering clinical depression). Feel the pain, but hold on, because better is coming; wait through the Curse, because you will break it one day; hold on in the goblin pens, because you will be rescued; hold on in the Drow nobles' chamber, because your moment to escape will come. Halsin is remarkably strong and able to endure a lot of darkness as long as he doesn't lose sight of light at the end, and that's how he stopped from sliding into cynicism again after the Shadow Curse.

*I once had a headcanon that Halsin learned about his family's passing after the Underdark, but now I'm not so sure, especially since we know now it wasn't all at once. I definitely can see it, but I can also easily see him losing them before; it would explain his lack of fear venturing into the Underdark alone, I think. So for this post I went with that.

Not sure if this was what you were wanting, but I hope it was close, anyway!

[buckybarnesss]

The reasons I get irritated by Peter and Jennifer using Derek's trauma against him are twofold.

Peter's tales are taken as absolute truth by people, and there's this reoccurring thought that Derek ask for Paige to be bitten. Peter attempts to use Derek's trauma (that Peter himself caused!) as a way to cause Cora and Stiles to lose faith in Derek.

Jennifer throws what she really looks like in Derek's face, accusing him of potentially being shallow after she RAPED HIM. She wielded his trauma like a weapon against him in order to manipulate him, and then tried to insinuate that he was in the wrong for not wanting to fuck a cenobite.

It's very interesting that the nogitsune is aware of how Derek feels for Stiles and vice versa, and comes to the same conclusion as Jennifer: Derek is a useful protector. However, the nogitsune is smart enough not to try to seduce Derek. He just pretends to be Stiles, knowing that being in possession of Stiles' mind and body is enough to effectively leash Derek.

the more i watch visionary the more i've decided that it's not so much the episode itself i had so much beef with but more fandom's reaction to it. the episode makes it pretty clear that the whole narrative conceit is that peter and gerard are manipulators and liars. they are not telling the full truth.

scott and allison are openly scornful of gerard and scott threatens him at the end. stiles explicitly tells cora that peter's told them a story.

yet fandom continues to cite peter's rendition of what happened with paige as gospel. like, yes, peter can tell the truth and does so frequently but he does so in a manner than benefits him. you often have to peel back the layers to see what peter's intentions are when he offers his help. there's usually a price of some kind. peter is a lot of things and not a single one of them is altruistic.

someone once argued with me saying peter wasn't angling for derek to give up his alpha power. i'm sorry the same dude who melodramatically was screaming about always being the alpha at the close of the season? that guy?

tell me this is not the face of a man who knows he's got his quarry on the hook. peter's always manipulating derek to some extent. it's his main hobby.

peter had an intention in telling the paige story to stiles but also in how he told it and the content of the story. he told it to stiles knowing that stiles feels a certain kind of way about derek. he tees up the story by comparing young derek to stiles's bff scott. he minimizes his presence and manipulations in what happened to paige and than closes with saying that blue eyes are an indication of killing an innocent.

he wanted to manipulate stiles's perception of derek. cora was just a bonus.

jennifer has an interesting view of derek. she definitely sees him as her savior due to him sacrificing paige which gave the nemeton enough power to sustain her life when kali almost killed her but he is also a tool. it's all conditional and all about how it benefits her the same as peter.

jennifer uses the memory of paige and derek's affection for stiles as a weapon against him. she perverts his love for them. kate did something similar in preying upon derek's grief for paige to sink her claws into him.

she uses her own victimhood to minimize her own victimization of him. she crocodile tears at him weaponizing what happened to her to manipulate him. she drops that façade quickly when it wasn't working as planned.

the thing that got him to not kill her once it was revealed who she really was? the location of stiles's father and her holding cora's life above his head.

both peter and jennifer are master manipulators and co-opt derek's traumas for their own nefarious purposes.

is it a wonder why derek guards his heart so closely? why he doesn't think he's good for people? with people like this constantly using him for their ends and manipulating him with his own heart?

the nogitsune is interesting because it doesn't even really bother with derek all that much. it wants him out of the way more than anything to the point of giving derek little distractions and than uses him as a protector when necessary.

the nogitsune was there in the cellar when derek mercy killed paige so i do wonder if it was aware while it was trapped in that jar.

it's possible that it could gain more glee from knowing how easily it leashed derek by simply possessing stiles and being aware of the distress it would cause stiles to force derek into a position of having to mercy kill another person he cared about. i would bet it had this as a contingency or a possible play if necessary.

the nogitsune fed off chaos, strife and pain. it clearly didn't have to be physical. it likes it's psychological warfare and it was playing with scott, lydia, allison and kira for all they were worth.

derek hale was probably reserved for dessert tbh. all that pain and trauma probably looked like an after dinner mint to it.

[romewritingshop]

Main Tera Pt. 1

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Kento Nanami x Brown Indian Female Reader

Tropes: Childhood lovers, Exes-to-lovers, Fake dating, co-workers-to-lovers, wedding

Warning: Toxic family members, talks of death, weddings, fake dating, swear words, aggressive behaviour, talks of abandonment and grief

MASTERLIST

A/N: Hey so this is inspired by my own culture. I wanted to write this fic and I hope it's good. The next part will be up soon. Thanks and I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think! Follow, comment or reblog, IDC because I enjoy writing this fic. Please pay attention before reading.

"What the fuck do I do 'Bara?"

(Y/N) couldn't believe her eyes as she stared at the white box. Red and gold confetti was strewn across her work desk but her eyes focused on a gold bordered invitation with the names:

‘Tina Singhania weds Harpreet Singh’

The box was an over the top gesture her cousin did to embarrass her but that was not her main concern. Her main concern was the fact that the invitation was addressed to her and her boyfriend. She didn't even have a boyfriend, not even a casual partner.

(Y/N) rubbed her forehead from the impending headache. Haibara smiled nervously as he patted his friend on the shoulder, looking at the open box. She only had about two weeks to find someone before she would then have to fly out to India for the wedding.

"I mean, you just have to find someone to be your boyfriend. Not an actual one, just pretend."

(Y/N) grimaced as she slumped down right in her chair. To make matters worse came the most annoying human being in the world.

"(Y/N)! What's that on your desk?"

The man with the blue circle rimmed glasses and shaggy silverish hair: Satoru Gojo. He came around and sat on the corner of his co-worker's desk, looking into the box and gasping at the red cupcake inside. He reached in and plucked it out, opening his mouth to take a bite when it was snatched away.

"Suguru, what the hell?"

Suguru rolled his eyes and returned the cupcake back on (Y/N)'s desk.

"Satoru, you don't take things that aren't yours." Suguru turned to his co-worker with a smirk. "You ask: Pretty Woman, can I have the cupcake?"

(Y/N)'s scrunched up with disgust as she brought a hand up to turn Suguru's face away.

"Don't show me your creepy ass face. And don't call me Pretty Woman!"

Right behind Satoru was his best friend, Suguru Geto, the inseparable duo that often liked to fan flames and cause mischief. Suguru had a scary face most of the time but he was calmer and nicer than Satoru. The two of them came over to see this mysterious package that had arrived on (Y/N)'s table.

"So your sister is getting married?"

Third person to arrive was the brown haired and half-tired Shoko Ierie. She had pried out the invitation from (Y/N)'s hand and read all the information. The box was drawing too much unwanted attention as (Y/N) lifted the box and shoved it under her desk.

Everyone seemed to have gathered around her desk as Satoru leaned over and picked the invitation out of Shoko's hands.

"You had a sister? And didn't even think to tell us."

"Only you Satoru."

Satoru stuck his tongue out at Shoko, his hand reaching out to grab the cupcake but Suguru snatched it and held it close to his chest. (Y/N) reached over and snatched the cupcake to give it to Haibara, folding her arms.

"I don't divulge my personal life to you, Satoru."

"And to think I considered you my best friend."

(Y/N) refrained from scoffing before retaining her composure. She may as well tell them the whole story seeing as they will continually bother her.

"She's a cousin and off limits Satoru."

Satoru scrunched up his face and folded his arms like a petulant child that was just refused their favourite candy. (Y/N) pinched at her forehead, her forehead creasing. 

"Only there's one problem."

Suguru raised a curious eyebrow as (Y/N) sat at the edge of her desk.

"What is it?"

"I have to take a boyfriend with me."

Suguru and Satoru shared a confused look with one another. They didn't know their work friend had a boyfriend as Satoru exhaled. There went their chance.

"Ah shame. I'm sure you and this boyfriend you-didn't-tell-us-about are gonna have a great time at your cousin's wedding."

(Y/N)'s face scrunched up as she shoved Satoru's shoulder.

"I don't have a boyfriend, you idiot!"

Satoru whistled with relief and sent a secret thumbs up to Suguru who rolled his eyes. Shoko was confused as she asked.

"Well can't you go without a boyfriend?"

"My cousin will kill and embarrass me. She's done it in the past so I'd rather avoid that."

Haibara patted your shoulder with comfort, having known and met your cousin once before. As Shoko scratched her head, understanding how dire the circumstances were, Satoru had a big grin on his face as he brushed his fingers in his white locks.

"You know if you need someone to pretend-"

Suguru smiled smugly whilst cutting in.

"No offence Satoru, you are the last person she should pick as a fake boyfriend."

"What are you talking about? I'd make a great boyfriend."

Shoko piqued in as she snatched Satoru's goggles off his face and put them on her face.

"Hi! I'm Satoru Gojo and I'm a wannabe model! Bet you never met a person with silky grey hair and bright ocean-like blue eyes!"

Suguru snickered while Satoru's face grew red. He took his glasses and returned them to his face whereas (Y/N) patted his shoulder to apologise.

"I'm sorry 'Toru but she would see right through you."

"She's right. That's why I'm the better choice, Satoru. Isn't that right, Pretty Woman?"

Suguru grinned smugly as he took (Y/N)'s hand and kissed the back of it. As if to persuade her that he was the better man to take on the role. (Y/N) awkwardly bared her teeth as she pulled her hand away to wipe off his kiss.

"I'm sorry Sugu but you're not even a better choice. You would scare half my family with those gauges and tattoos."

This made a sad pout appear on Suguru's face as he exhaled.

"That's hurtful. But wouldn't that also be a big fuck you to your cousin? I'd treat you so well."

"It would and you might but let's also not forget last year's party where your quote-unquote girlfriends dropped by to accuse you of being a slut."

This time Satoru and Shoko snickered whereas Suguru raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Haibara had a constipated expression on his face as he listened to this conversation.

"Your point?"

"I don't want to have to run into another set of girls who claim you were the best night of their lives."

"I'm not that big of a slut."

At that moment they all deadpanned at Suguru's words and Satoru flailed his hands to gesture.

"Says the one who was the most popular one in high school."

Suguru glared at Satoru before huffing with reluctant agreement. Then his eyes furrowed and snapped to Haibara, almost accusatory. Even Shoko raised an eyebrow at Haibara.

"Don't tell me that Haibara is your choice!"

(Y/N) rolled her eyes before resting her hands on her hips. Haibara nervously shook his head.

"I've already met her family so they're not gonna believe I'm her boyfriend."

Which leads everyone to think and ask themselves, who? At that moment a weary face and blonde hair walked up to the group, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed tight across his blue buttoned chest. He cleared his throat which made everyone stand up attentively.

"What's going on here and why is it a mess?"

Satoru, Suguru and Shoko quickly scuttled away from (Y/N) leaving her to face their grumpy team leader, Kento Nanami. Only a few months older than her and was brought onto the company as the team leader. She didn't even want to talk to Nanami as she sent a glare to her other co-workers that abandoned her.

"Nothing, Mr. Nanami. Just received a package."

Nanami exhaled as he watched his co-worker clear the rubbish on her table and toss the box underneath her desk. Haibara returned to his cubicle as Nanami took a safe step close to (Y/N), hoping that she would just take a look at him.

"(Y/N)?"

"What Mr. Nanami?"

The glare she gave him was a mixture of hot and cold, both scalding Nanami's heart. He had a pained expression on his face as she glared. Ever since he started working in the company for over a year now, she had been nothing but hostile. He tried to give a soft smile before he quietly spoke.

"What time are you meant to finish today?"

"What's it to you?"

If it were anyone else, Nanami would have taken managerial action and ensured that the person received a disciplinary warning, for their behaviour. His heart was always weak against (Y/N) as he let her talk harshly to him. He didn't know how to say his next words because she was going to flip. He let out a short puff of breath before going ahead with his words.

"Daadi invited me for dinner. Said she had something important to discuss."

At that moment, (Y/N) stopped typing before slowly craning her head to thoroughly examine Nanami's face for a joke. It wasn't and she almost shivered in grief. Why? Her Daadi (Grandma) loved Nanami for many reasons and it irked her whenever Daadi would mention the man. But today seemed to have crossed the limit as she frowned.

Right now she needed to get rid of Nanami so she creased her face into an awkward smile. For now she'll have to engage in a short conversation that will drive him away.

"Ah. Well you can go ahead and have dinner with her. I got a lot of work to finish off -"

"I didn't set any deadlines. You can push that off for tomorrow. She insists that I get you to come on time for dinner."

"As if…"

Her words died in her throat as Nanami pulled out his phone to show the messages that Daadi had sent. It was true. Daadi had invited Nanami and she had stressed the fact that (Y/N) needed to come home on time. She couldn't believe that Daadi had gotten Nanami's phone number and he had hers saved.

At that moment, a loud ring sounded from the cubicle next to them as Haibara answered the phone. Nanami and (Y/N)'s ears perked up as they leaned around the cubicle. The first words that caught their attention was 'Hello Daadi!' They silently watched Haibara have a conversation before hanging up the phone and nervously smiling at the two people in front of him.

"Erm … you heard that huh? Looks like I'm joining you guys for dinner as well."

(Y/N) scoffed as she folded her arms muttering.

"Funny how she didn't call-"

As if the comedic timing wasn't enough, her own phone rang to which her face scrunched up in agony before answering her phone, in Hindi.

"Hi Daadi. How are you?"

"I'm doing good. You're coming home today for dinner?"

She glared at Nanami as she feigned her whining.

"I'm really sorry Daadi but-"

"If you finish that sentence, I will come to your office and drag you by the ear. Are you asking to get smacked?"

"Daadi!"

"I don't want any excuses. You have to come home for dinner. And bring Kento and Haibara with you."

Before (Y/N) could get a word in, Daadi had cut the call. All (Y/N) could do was angrily pout before massaging her forehead and muttering.

"Did she tell you what time we have to get there?"

"By six thirty."

~~~~

After a gruelling two hours, it was time for everyone to go home. (Y/N) was rushing to pack her things which surprised Haibara as he watched her scrambling to get paperwork together.

"Why are you in a rush? I thought you didn't want to go to dinner?"

"I still don't. But I also don't want to get a lift with Nanami."

Haibara's smile was askew as he watched her leaned down to pick up her parcel, before she shoved it in his hands for him to hold. She sat down on her chair to take off her nude heels and switch them for some black trainers.

(Y/N) rushed up and grabbed Haibara's wrist to yank him away from their cubicles and to the lift. It was just about to close but before her hand could cut in to prevent the doors from closing, Nanami's hand cut in. He had reached the doors the same time as them which was unfortunate for (Y/N) as she gritted her teeth before gesturing for Nanami to get in.

The blond man didn't budge and stood firm where he was which irked (Y/N) even more. Decidedly, she stomps into the lift, followed by Haibara and Nanami. There was silence in the lift, the two men didn't say a word out of fear that they might make their co-worker explode.

The lift finally arrived on the ground floor, the lift doors were slowly opening but (Y/N) didn't hesitate in pushing through the doors. Haibara gave Nanami a torn sheepish smile before following after her. She was about to swipe her card to open the gate when a loud thunderstorm echoed before a sudden heavy shower began to downpour.

She screeched rather angrily, unable to believe her rotten luck as she huffed at Haibara.

"We are gonna have to run to the bus stop."

"Or you can just take a lift with me."

Nanami stood there with an unimpressed expression on his face and arms folded. His dark waterproof long coat made him look much more bulky and taller. (Y/N) was about to open her mouth to refuse when Haibara beamed with a happy smile.

"Yep I'm good with that. Let's go!"

Holding her parcel in one hand, Haibara grabbed onto (Y/N)'s wrist, almost dragging her to the car. What should have been a quick five minute walk felt like a ten minute stretch as (Y/N) grumbled utter aggressive nonsense to herself all the way until they got into the car.

~~~~

The table was finally set as Daadi laid out plates for four people. The dishes were still hot in a hotpot, and she finally got to take a look at the clock. They were ten minutes late which made Daadi frown and take her phone out to see if there were any messages. There were none which made Daadi worry, her fingers ready to dial them.

A pair of keys jingled in the lock which made Daadi sigh with relief, rushing to the door to see a slightly soaked (Y/N) carrying a box and a completely dry Haibara and Nanami. She was confused, unsure of whether to greet or comment but (Y/N) simply greeted first.

"Hey Daadi. Sorry we're late."

"Why are you wet?"

"I forgot to take an umbrella and I didn't want to share with Nanami. Also Haibara and your precious Nanami are the reason we're late."

Nanami stepped forward with a warm smile, presenting her with a bouquet of violet dahlias. Daadi's heart swelled with love as she took the flowers to smell, a deep rich scent enveloped her nose as she gave Nanami a hug and a pull on his cheek.

"You didn't have to bring anything, you silly boy."

Nanami grinned as he held Daadi's hand close to his heart, squeezing it to show his adoration.

"I wanted to, Daadi. It's always a delight to come see you and I knew you'd want a new bouquet for your kitchen windowsill."

"Ah you know me very well Kento."

(Y/N) rolled her eyes as she toed off her shoes, dropping her parcel on a small side table. Nanami had taken off his jacket and hung it on the stair pole. Going into the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase for Daadi. Haibara grinned widely as he presented Daadi with a box of her favourite pastries.

"Haibara! You also didn't have to-"

"Nonsense Daadi! This is nothing compared to the amount of times you've given me birthday money and gifts. They're your favourite: almond croissants."

Daadi also pulled Haibara's cheek before Haibara took the pastry box to put in the fridge. (Y/N) wasn't surprised that Daadi walked after them to get their dinner served, specifically Nanami. She hated the fact that Daadi and Nanami had grown closer.

When Nanami first started working in the company, (Y/N) tried her hardest to make sure that Daadi would never find out but the old woman was smart to know something was up. She popped into the office one day and bumped into Nanami. They reconnected instantly and (Y/N) was left watching this friendship bloom.

Taking off her wet clothes, rinsing them and putting them in the washing machine. She started the cycle and went to her room to put on a dark grey long sleeve and light grey tracksuit bottoms. She took a small towel and dried her jet black hair before tossing the towel in a hamper in the bathroom.

She came downstairs to see Nanami, Daadi and Haibara sitting in seats, their plates empty in front of them, waiting for her to sit and eat with them. Daadi smiled before standing up to serve all of them. She lifted the lids to show the three dishes made: potato spinach curry and butter chicken. Nanami and Haibara's respective favourites as their mouths salivate.

Once their plates were made, everyone began to eat, Nanami and Haibara had a naan next to them, breaking off a piece and scooping some of the curry onto the bread. Nanami and Haibara had eaten Daadi's food many times and they knew the proper way to eat.

Opting for a light option, (Y/N) served herself some rice and poured a serving spoon of butter chicken. She grabbed a tablespoon and mixed it together, taking the first bite. There was nothing that Daadi wasn't good at as (Y/N) hummed happily at her meal. Relaxing and glad to be home, until Nanami opened his mouth.

"Daadi, it is incredible as always."

"I took extra special care in the potato and spinach curry, since it's your favourite."

Haibara hummed as well as he licked the sauce with his fingers.

"And this butter chicken is creamier and nuttier than last time?"

"Yes, I'm glad you noticed Haibara."

(Y/N) cleared her throat before taking a large sip of water. Taking advantage of the silence she decided to talk about the first important thing which was her cousin, Tina's wedding.

"So Daadi, I received an interesting package today. A wedding invitation."

"I know. I received the same this morning."

"Did you know that Tina was getting married?"

Daadi hummed mindlessly, continuously eating her food. 

"Not really, no. But when I called Payal this morning, she said that the boy's in a rush to get married as he has to return to America. That's why the wedding invite is so sudden."

(Y/N) rolled her eyes as she continued to eat. However her Daadi's next words made her drop her spoon on her plate, her anger bubbling and slowly rising up.

"They want us to come as soon as possible to help out with the wedding prep. Said that she could use your help to negotiate with vendors."

Haibara and Nanami shared an apprehensive expression, feeling a little awkward that they were hearing this conversation. Daadi trusted them whereas (Y/N) was panicking at the sudden change in plans. Mainly how she was going to find a boyfriend this sudden.

"Daadi I'm not going to be able to get my holidays approved so soon."

Daadi rolled her eyes as she gestured to the blonde haired man sitting on her right.

"It's partly the reason why I called Kento." She turned to Nanami with a pleading smile. "Please Kento. I'm sorry but I hope you understand that she needs these days off."

Kento gave a polite nod as he grabbed a napkin to clean his mouth and hands, taking a sip of water and answering.

"Don't worry Daadi, I understand. I'll have someone cover her work for however much time she needs off."

It was no surprise to (Y/N) that Nanami said yes. Whatever Daadi says, he does. Though he might have done the same with (Y/N), he lets her get away with murder. Daadi had a big grin on her face, glad that she was able to sort that out before she snapped her fingers as if remembering something else.

"Ah, also for Haibara and yourself."

(Y/N) felt like she lost all feeling in her body. Did she just say for Haibara and Nanami? What the fuck was going on? An almost fire-like rage burned in her eyes as her words forcefully pushed through her teeth.

"What do you mean Daadi?"

Daadi remained cool, having been used to her granddaughter's tantrums as she turned to Haibara.

"Well, I'm sorry it seems last minute but you are invited to the wedding. You are family and we simply cannot have a wedding without you."

Haibara smiled and bowed graciously before his smile dropped.

"Are you sure that's okay Daadi?"

"Yes, don't worry! Payal won't mind."

(Y/N) flared in anger as she spoke a bit louder, more pissed off at the fact that Daadi was ignoring her.

"Daadi! What do you mean?"

Even Nanami was confused as to why he needed to get holidays as he opened his mouth, also asking the same questions but softly and calmly. Daadi exhaled, knowing her next words will set off (Y/N).

"Before I cut the call, Tina came on and said that she couldn’t wait to meet you and your boyfriend too."

Nanami's eye twitched and furrowed suspiciously as he sat up straighter, which took (Y/N) by surprise because he was often aloof, wearing his heart on a sleeve whenever (Y/N) was around. Haibara was munching on his food, savouring the taste and not putting much input because he would be the next target for (Y/N)'s wrath.

"Now, I know you don't have a boyfriend-"

"You don't know that-"

Daadi scoffed and raised an eyebrow which made (Y/N) be quiet. There was no getting past the old woman.

"I know Tina has put you in a bind but the solution is right opposite you (Y/N)."

Just now she felt an icy chill crawl up her spine and freeze her every single movement. Her brain simply shut down as her eyes narrowed in on the brown eyes and ugly leopard print tie. Haibara finished off his plate and hid behind his naan, not wanting to be caught in the crosshairs.

Daadi's face remained stoically cool, almost alert because the minute her granddaughter was going to act up, she was going to shut the attitude down. But Nanami was shocked the most, by far this was the most eccentric thing that Daadi has ever done.

"Why Nanami?"

"Because you have history. He knows you well and I trust him to look after you."

One minute. Two minutes. Five minutes passed as (Y/N) exhaled, mulling over what Daadi had said. It's true, they had history, but that was almost thirteen years ago, when they both were 14. They only dated for a few months before … that happened. She shuddered at the memory before coming back to the present, unable to comprehend what Daadi had just proposed.

She abruptly stood up and took her plate to the kitchen, having lost the appetite and feeling numb. It was like her life was out of her hands as she scraped off the uneaten rice and curry into the bin.

She felt a hand on her shoulder as she tried so hard to pinch her eyes, preventing her tear ducts from welling up and then came Daadi's soft voice.

"(Y/N), I suggested him because I know he will be there for you in ways I might not be able to."

"If you say you're gonna die, Daadi-"

Her grandmother rolled her eyes and slapped (Y/N)'s shoulder, scolding.

"I'm not dying you silly girl. I just know Kento will help you keep a level head."

Her fists clenched tight as she took shaky breaths before going over to the sink to splash cool water on her face. If they didn't have that awkward past, Nanami was the perfect choice. But the way she treated him, she wouldn't be surprised if he refused.

Her eyes widened in shock and her face twitched at the thought of already accepting Nanami as a choice. As much as she wanted to say she was at a crossroads, the truth was, deep down she felt obliged to follow Daadi's request. If she didn't, she would have had this nagging feeling of regret.

Finally shaking off her depressed disposition, she straightened her back and spun around to face her Daadi.

"Fine. I'll take Nanami. But will he even agree?"

~~~~

"I hope we're not too late."

(Y/N) pushed the bridge of her sunglasses down her nose as Nanami and Haibara reached the two of them. Nanami had a more dressed down look with a navy polo shirt and grey slacks. Haibara had gone with jeans and a print t-shirt which had a dragon on the front.

Daadi waved her hand as if to brush off their excuse before she greeted the two men. They were in the airport arrivals lounge, just getting ready to board the plane. The weather in Japan was slightly warm so they could relax without jackets and coats.

Nanami took a minute to admire (Y/N), the woman was staring down her phone, texting something whilst holding onto her hand carry. Looking pretty in a tweed print quarter length trousers and white t-shirt. He was glad that her sunglasses were on her nose because he could see her eyes that he got lost in for the first time they met.

It was nearly thirteen to fourteen years ago when they first met. She was a new student joining their class, the last year of junior high. Her eyes darted around like an alert panicked deer, nervous to see how everyone else would perceive her.

Her big brown eyes which reminded him of the crackling camp fires, felt like a warm heater heating his face on a cold day. It was just Nanami's luck that the seat next to him was empty as she waddled down the line and sat down next to him. 

Since she had just started, he shuffled his desk closer to share his history textbook with her. He looked down to hide his eyes behind his fringe, softly muttering.

"'M Kento Nanami."

"(Y/N) Aggarwal."

The youthful hue in her cheeks made her radiant in the cold day, she felt like a warm cosy fireplace as the two of them shuffled closer to read the textbook. Their fingers brushed and that was the moment they fell for each other.

From then on they spent most of the break times together, getting to know one another and connecting on a basic level. They were 14, the most they could do was hang out. Sometimes they went bowling or to an arcade, even Haibara would join them as well.

(Y/N) had brought Nanami to the house to meet Daadi and her mother. Nanami was instantly welcomed as the two women fed and cared for him as if he were their own child. They surprisingly approved of the relationship, especially seeing how Nanami took care of her. Then again, they were modern thinking women.

What was a lit match, became a spark and now a gentle warming fire as Nanami held (Y/N)'s hand. The two of them were sitting next to a tree in the school courtyard, their faces naturally drew close. Whilst (Y/N)'s eyes fluttered close to feel his kiss, he kept his eyes slightly open, so that he could cherish the memory of sharing their first kiss together.

~~~~

This was only the start to what would be a long nightmare as (Y/N) took a sip of water. Her Bua (Aunt) Payal, held a small dinner party to introduce the boy that was going to marry Tina. Everyone was seated at the dinner table: her Bua Payal, cousins Karan, Tina, Jhanvi, Tina's fiancee Harpreet, Nanami, Haibara and Daadi.

A mixture of curries and chutneys were served on the table as everyone helped themselves. Harpreet was in the middle of conversing in English with Nanami and Haibara.

"So … have you ever been to America?"

Nanami politely shook his head.

"Can't say that I have, no."

"Well if you'd ever like a visit, come to New York City. I have good contacts to get you a job there. They pay six figures and provide accommodation as well. If you want, I can hook you up with someone. I'm sure you'd do way better than where you are now."

Nanami smiled as he took a bite of food.

"I appreciate the offer but will have to kindly decline. I have loved ones close by that I'd like to stay close with."

When saying 'loved ones' his eyes briefly darted over to (Y/N) which made her blink blankly. Daadi smirked behind her glass while Payal and Tina smiled as Tina spoke.

"But seriously like … how did this happen? I thought you would turn up here without a boyfriend. Don't tell me you hired him!"

(Y/N) pursed her lips as her head grew hot in anger. Daadi frowned and put her glass down to scold her other granddaughter.

"Tina. Is this how you talk to your cousin?"

"Daadi, I'm only joking. Right (Y/N)?"

(Y/N) widened her smile but it had no mirth or joy, only bitterness.

"Yes of course. And to answer your question, no I did not hire him. We met at work."

Tina scoffed, almost carelessly waving her glass around. Everyone else was eating and listening to the conversation carefully.

"Met at work? That's such a basic answer."

(Y/N) opened her mouth to rebut but Nanami stepped in, his gaze focused on (Y/N). Like he somehow knew he needed to bring her back.

"Sometimes the most basic things can mean so much. When I first walked into work, I noticed her working in her cubicle. My heart had stopped. Like I had found the person I'd been searching my whole life for.

"But I needed to do whatever I could to be with her the moment I saw her eyes."

(Y/N) felt herself get drawn into Nanami's eyes, a similar shade to her own. She felt like she had travelled back in time as Nanami's face morphed into his younger self. She hadn't realised it but Nanami had grown up in so many years. His face had matured a lot but his eyes were still the same.

His usual cool stoic demeanour had shattered before her and she was seeing the Nanami she knew when she was young. Or had he always been like this but she only noticed now. The side of his hand brushed against hers slightly but she took the leap to interlace her fingers with his.

She heard someone clear their throat which made her snap out of her daydream, snatching her hand away as she straightened her posture. Tina's eyes narrowed as she was unable to believe the chemistry between her cousin and her 'boyfriend'.

Haibara and Daadi shared a knowing, almost scheming look. Payal grinned as she clapped her hands.

"Oh that is romantic. Then maybe we'll have another marriage to plan soon."

(Y/N) almost choked on her food at her aunt's words but Nanami quietly took a sip of his drink, grinning at the joke.

~~~~

The wedding prep was done and now she could finally relax. If she had the energy, she would have throttled her cousin and ran her over with a car. Twice. Everything was down to (Y/N), from organising decorations to outfits and colours, haggling with fat Indian men and negotiating to her wits end.

Even her poor Daadi was put to work as she helped with the venue and catering organisation. (Y/N) would be up at six am in the morning, coming home at two am. With only four, sometimes three and half hours of sleep.

The only highlight of the day was that she'd come home to a steaming cup of spiced tea that would rejuvenate her, making her feel warm and alive. Daadi got home earlier than she did, so she was endeared by the fact that her Grandmother took time to make her tea.

Being busy didn't give her a chance to connect with Nanami. Apparently Tina boasted about the fact that she got to show Nanami around Mumbai, which made her blood boil at the audacity of her cousin. After five days of gruelling work, she was able to come home early, and she completed everything just in time for the Mehndi ceremony tomorrow.

She was desperate for a nice shower and that hot cup of spiced tea. It was about 11pm and surprisingly the house was quiet. Everyone had probably slept early because of the Mehndi. There was some rustling in the kitchen as she crept in, stunned to see the familiar blond shaggy hair.

"Nanami?"

He turned around, a little surprised as he stirred a cup of tea, placing it on a saucer and pushing it in front of (Y/N).

"Hey. Finished early?"

Her eyes dropped down to the cup of tea in front of her, wisps of steam floated in the air and in the direction of her nostrils. It had the strong notes of cinnamon and ginger. She gave a nod and a hum, for once being too tired to even be bitter and angry.

"I did. Everything is set for the next two days."

A smile came on his lips as he came around to lead (Y/N) to the dining table, before placing the saucer in front of her. He took a seat opposite her, speaking softly.

"You did well."

Her lips twitched at the soft praise he was giving her before her eyes zoomed into the cup in front of her. Feeling parched, she brought her palms around the cup, blowing at the top before taking a sip. It was the same tea she had been having for five days, her eyes lifted up to Nanami.

"Did … you make this?" He gave a nod which prompted her to ask another question. "Have you been making tea for me the last few days?"

Once again he gave a nod, almost nervous to see how she would react. But to his surprise, her face cracked to show a smile, her eyes fluttered to connect with him for the first time, softly murmuring. "Thank you."

She was beyond touched by his gesture as she finished her cup of tea. Her hands pushed forward to give him the cup and his fingers brushed with hers when grabbing the cup. For once, she let her anger dissipate as her index finger stroked his.

Maybe she was too tired but she felt soft at this moment, warmed by Nanami. He waited patiently to let her take her time, to come forward and he was rewarded with her holding his hand. Whilst last time was emotionless, just a show in front of the family. This one was intimate and sacred.

Somehow he could feel her genuineness which made this moment all the more special. The years of walls she had built with Nanami in mind, began to crumble slowly. The slightly older man exhaled softly as he decided to go a baby step further to ask.

"If we get a chance, maybe after the wedding, we could go sightseeing around the city."

She flinched slightly as she recalled her cousin's words, incredulous she couldn't help but ask.

"Didn't Tina show you around?"

"No. She was stubborn and tried to force me to go but I stood my ground. I made myself a promise, years ago, that if I were to go to India. I would only go with you. I will always wait for you."

In that moment the walls collapsed as his words echoed, not missing the double meaning in his last sentence she gave a nod promising to take him around the city.

~~~~

"Kento, can you check on (Y/N) and see if she's okay? We need to leave now."

Nanami gave a nod to Daadi before trudging up the stairs to the bedroom that (Y/N) was getting ready in. Daadi fixed the sleeves of her blouse, straightening the pleats of her sari. Haibara raised an eyebrow, his hand up to point in the direction that Nanami went in.

"I just checked on her when I went to the bathroom. She said that she was just putting her outfit on."

Daadi gave a steady grin and Haibara noticed this. His eyes went up the stairs before going back to Daadi, his brain worked a bit before he finally put two and two together. He shook his head in a small laugh, giving an impressed grin but curious what the move is.

"I think I see where you're going with this but what will Nanami help with?"

Daadi shrugs. "Maybe an anklet, an earring or her blouse."

Haibara let out a scandalised gasp which made the older woman throw her head back in laughter before tugging his cheek. Meanwhile Nanami had just reached the bedroom door, knocking and asking.

"Are you ready?"

"Just a minute, just stuck with this blouse."

Nanami scratched his head nervously as he was about to turn to call for Daadi when he heard her yelp. Immediately his eyes widened as he knocked on the door harder. After a few minutes of silence, he heard the lock unclick, the door opened to reveal an embarrassed looking (Y/N).

Last night was a fluke. She had let her walls down in front of Nanami because she was exhausted. This time she put them back up so tightly that he couldn't even try to wiggle his way into her heart. She stepped aside to let Nanami in, taking in the fact that there was a bedspread on the floor and one on a slightly elevated bed.  The room he shared with Haibara was nothing like this as he pointed out to the spread on the floor.

"Who's sleeping there?"

"That's me. Daadi's got a bad back so she's sleeping on the charpai."

After tonight he was going to swap rooms with her so that both she and Daadi could get a better night's rest. For now, he began to examine her for a wound.

"I heard you squeal."

She narrowed her eyes as she corrected Nanami about the fact that she yelped. Her eyes then darted around the floor as she whispered.

"Look, I thought I saw a cockroach."

The man stilled for a minute, looking from the floor to (Y/N) then the floor again. Surprised that she was the kind to get scared by an insect as he almost deadpanned.

"A cockroach."

"Indian cockroaches are different. These are huge dickheads that can fly."

"Right. How long are you gonna take to get dressed?"

"I'm done, just stuck with trying to tie the blouse up tightly."

Nanami's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he finally took in the fact that she was wearing a traditional Indian dress, a lehenga. The skirt was a lemony yellow with silver sequins and embroidery and it contrasted nicely with her sea blue full sleeve blouse.

She needed to dress more like this as Nanami tried to block out the indecent thoughts. (Y/N) went to her vanity mirror and turned around to see her back in the mirror. He almost lost his mind at the large expanse of her back. Sure enough the back of the blouse undone as he watched her struggle for a few good minutes before he huffed.

Strutting over and ordering her to turn around. She's about to refuse but her mouth zips tight when he pivots her body round, bringing his fingers up to lace up the blouse, pulling and tugging slightly before tying a tight little bow at the bottom.

"There. Now we can -"

"Can you get the cockroach before we go? I don't want to come back and it's still there."

Nanami shook his head as he brought an arm around her shoulder, silently urging her to get a move on as they were now running late for the mehndi ceremony.

"Don't bother. Haibara and I will swap rooms with you and Daadi."

"But-"

"Please. You shouldn't sleep on the floor anyways."

(Y/N) shut her mouth which was a silent indication that she agreed with Nanami's request. He dropped her arm and gave her space to walk forward. She subconsciously brought her hand to her shoulder, already missing the slight warmth that emanated from his hand.

Finally, they got into the car and drove to the venue, where the party was still having a few guests trickle in. It was a huge hall with cream curtains covering the walls, ambient blue and yellow flood lights were dotted across the room giving it a sort of cloudy glow.

The stage was set with ornate gold sofa chaises and embroidered deep lime green cushioning. There was a backdrop arch with vines lopping around it, and lily flowers drooping off. The tables and chairs had matching shades of green. It seemed like everything went well and she was glad that her aunt was happy to take on maintaining the beauty and event.

Nanami's eyes dazzled at the intricate beautiful decorations, leaning into (Y/N)'s ear.

"Your hard work has paid off. Everything looks stunning."

(Y/N)'s lips twitched with a threat of a smile before she cleared her throat, spotting Tina and Harpreet on stage, with her Bua Payal. She turned to Daadi, gently placing a hand on her arm.

"Daadi, should we go on stage?"

"Yes, let's go. Kento, Haibara come with."

The two women walked forward followed by Nanami and Haibara, they went up the three steps before Harpreet and Tina acknowledged Daadi and (Y/N). Tina looked lovely in her bright yellow garara, its stole was draped over her head. Harpreet had on a matching shade sherwani kurta and turban.

Nanami and Haibara shook Harpreet's hand to congratulate him while Daadi and (Y/N) embraced Tina. A photographer approached them and requested they get into position, the to-be-weds took centre stage with Nanami and (Y/N) to their right and Daadi and Haibara to the left.

Nanami's hand wavered, unsure of where to put his hand but a frustrated (Y/N) grabbed his hand and placed it on her hip. His fingers brushed against her bare side and waist of the lehenga. The picture was quick and Nanami was surprised when (Y/N) stomped away, once again confused about what he did to annoy her.

(Y/N) needed to stay away from Nanami as her heart panged with an unknown feeling. Whatever it was, it always happened with him and it was best if she was away from him. But it wasn't the best idea because it made her bump into different relatives, all of whom were shocked by the news that she was dating.

Maasi (Aunty) Khirron and Ganga were two gossips with tightly banaras red and blue saris. Looking more like wedding crashers than actual wedding guests. As if her day wasn't bad enough, she plastered a happy fake grin.

"Maasi! It's so nice to see you."

"It's nice to see you too! How long has it been, nearly thirteen years ago? At your mum's funeral right?"

(Y/N) flinched but bared it because she knew that these women didn't have any well wishes. They just spoke out of their ass most of the time so she gave a simple nod, which encouraged the women to natter away.

"Yes that's it. My dear (Y/N), your mother was a wonderful woman."

"Truly wonderful."

"She was taken too early."

"Too early! And it's such a shame she didn't get to see her daughter grow up."

It was coming, their snide backhanded comments.

"Yes! She didn't get to see her daughter grow up to be beautiful."

"And the biggest thing is that she didn't even get to see (Y/N) get married and have children."

There it was, she exhaled rather loudly, readying to take a step away before Maasi Ganga latched onto her arm like a constrictor snake. The two women were nattering away as they went further with their comments. Oblivious to the fact that (Y/N) was trying to get away quickly.

"But I wonder what she would say if she found out that her daughter was dating?"

"And that a white man?"

They were looking for a reaction, anything just to prod at the slow burning ire but she took a deep exhale and exhale. She knew how best to respond as she smirked whilst staring dead straight at Nanami.

"Well she would be proud of me because I found a man that takes good care of me. Especially in bed."

The aunties dramatically gasped, making their talkative traps open as (Y/N) found a way to move away from them. She rubbed circles at her temple as she stomped away only to bump into a younger boy with an afro and toothy grin.

It was her cousin's ridiculous neighbour's son, Mahesh took in her outfit and catcalled.

"I knew it was you (Y/N). You look beautiful."

"What do you want Mahesh? I got to go."

"Hey please. Can't I admire my future bride?"

(Y/N) scoffed as she dropped her hands to her waist. This boy was asking to be ripped a new one as she quirked an eyebrow.

"I don't date prepubescent boys."

"But I'm 18 now so technically a legal adult now."

Mahesh wiggled his eyebrows which did not impress (Y/N). She rolled her eyes and was about to strut away from him when he grabbed her wrist. 

"Where are you going, gorgeous? Dance with me a little."

There was only one way to deal with this and this was being direct. She snapped to him, stepping close and leaning over him like a giant. (There was only a few inches difference in height but (Y/N) was taller).

"Get three things through your thick skull: one, you are not my type, two you are way too young and an idiot and three, I have a boyfriend. Do not approach me again or I'll break your hand."

Yanking her hand out of his grip and shoving him as a way to drill the message in. It didn't take long for her to weave through the crowd and finally approach the bar where most of the uncles had gathered. Big mistake, she rolled her eyes to order a coke when two older men approached her. One was Chacha (Uncle) Satish, her father and Bua Payal’s younger brother, the other was a rather young bearded man with a turban. Chacha Satish raised a glass of whiskey to her.

“(Y/N)! It is good to see you! How goes in China?���

Chacha Satish was an idiot with a lack of cultural awareness and terrible English. That seemed to be a running theme in her family as she bit her bottom lip before widening her smile.

“Chacha Satish! It’s good to see you too! And I don’t know how it’s going in China because I don’t live there.”

Chacha Satish tapped his forehead as if he was being silly.

“Ah yes, I forget. Where you live?”

“Japan.”

Chacha Satish and the turban man gave a nod as Chacha Satish gestured at the man next to him.

“This my good friend's son, Dheeraj Chaddha Singh. He own big business and has degree in engineering."

Chacha Satish leaned into her ear and it was difficult to repress a gag at the stench of his breath. It was onions and whiskey which was a vile combination. "He no married and he will be good husband."

It was like someone had crushed her mind with a heavy weight as Chacha Satish stepped back with a smug grin. His maroon sherwani buttons were struggling to hold on near his stomach which made her want to punch him in the gut. Just so she could embarrass him the way he just did now.

"Chacha. I have a boyfriend."

But Chacha barked a laugh as his head reared back. His drink sloshed and he stumbled slightly which made Dheeraj immediately hold on to his arm to balance him. It was a mistake being here and she might have been better off with Nanami.

"Who? That English man? Tina told me that's your boss and the other one is your friend from college."

"Chacha he is not English. He is mostly Japanese and a little bit Danish. And Tina is wrong."

Chacha frowned in confusion, raising a hand as if to ask what kind of combination this was. Though he then waved his hand to wave away her words as if she sidetracked the conversation.

"Anyways, Dheeraj is best guy. Big family. And What do you call a car dealership in English?”

“A car dealership?”

Chacha Satish blinked before giving a nod and blindly agreeing.

“Yes that. He want to open one in Japan. You two get married and you can open shop in Japan.”

“Chacha, I-”

“You give him money from your job. He open shop then you leave your job. Anyways, you will have to leave your job to raise your kids.”

(Y/N) had an incredulous expression on her face as she scoffed, tilting her head and folding her arms. What exactly did her uncle think she does for work? And how dare he offer up a stranger for her to marry? And further suggest that she leave her job and raise kids? She was gonna approach this tactfully.

“Chacha? What do you think I do for work?”

“You give money to people who want to open a business. Ah now I remember the name: an investor!”

“Chacha, I work for investors. I help manage their customers and their problems. I don’t give money to customers.”

This statement made Dheeraj Chaddha huff angrily as he jabbed an elbow into Chacha Satish’s side. Yanking him and almost loudly whispering into his ear.

"You told me she was rich."

"Forgive me, Dheeraj. I thought she was an investor not an … assistant."

Her nails dug into her palm, refraining from physically reacting.

"I'm not an assistant. I'm a client manager. I look after customers and company clients. And I earn extremely well for myself so even if I were an investor … I wouldn't invest in a disrespectful greedy lowlife."

Chacha Satish and Dheeraj gasped at her cruel words. Her uncle's nose flared up which was an ugly sight because he looked a lot like a pig. Only now she began to notice that whiskey was dribbling from the corner of his lip like a baby. Her uncle was not only mentally disgusting but physically as well.

"(Y/N), is this how you talk to guests? Ask for forgiveness right now."

"For what? I just said the truth. You're lucky I'm not asking you for forgiveness because you disrespected me."

"Me? Disrespect." Suddenly the argument took a turn as something dawned on his face. "You know what. You're right. I should ask for forgiveness."

He slapped his hands together and thrust them in her face, asking for 'forgiveness'.

"It's my fault. I didn't stop your father from giving you to your Daadi. You wouldn't have turned into a disrespectful dishonourable woman like-"

"Like who?"

Their conversation cut off at the sound of a new voice, (Y/N)'s facial expressions stuttered as the tall blonde man had cut in between them. His posture loomed over them, their skin began to ripple with goosebumps. His face drilled holes into Chacha Satish and Dheeraj, eyes narrowed and voice rather hoarse and menacing.

"Who were you going to compare her to?"

Dheeraj's eyes furrowed as he downed his drink and stumbled to shove Nanami at the shoulder.

"You're not involved in this conversation so stay out."

"Exactly my point. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Chacha Satish frowned as he cleared his throat.

"I'm talking to my niece. I have a right to teach her right from wrong."

"Is that what it was? I heard you clearly admonish and disrespect her. Not only that but you were going to insult Daadi as well? Your own mother? Or … was it her mother? How revolting either way."

(Y/N) tugged Nanami's shoulder to avoid attention but the man barely budged as he raised an eyebrow and stepped closer, leaning into Satish’s ear to further threaten him.

"It is taking every cell in my body to refrain from killing you but I value my girlfriend and her grandmother's familial relationship. Consider yourself lucky."

Her uncle’s jaw dropped, opened and shut before he then scoffed, carelessly tossing his glass onto the bartop before shoving Dheeraj to move away from the blonde tall imposing man. Nanami’s eyes narrowed as he watched (Y/N)’s uncle and the other man walk away from them. His heart pumped vigorously as he glanced over his shoulder to see if (Y/N) was okay. It was the wrong move because he could feel the burn of anger radiating from her.

"Why the fuck did you do that?"

"Damage control."

Her mouth opened to scold him when instead the sudden heat flushed away, eyes widened in shock as her vision narrowed on an older man in the distance. The man with the same nose and face shape, his hair completely grey and dressed in a dark green sherwani and a white stole around his shoulders. Amongst the wedding planning, she had no time to recall the dark part of her past. The man who gave her up.

Her eyes darted around and almost immediately she spotted Daadi, the woman seemed to sense the same thing as she excused herself from the conversation she was having with a guest before immediately darting to where Nanami and (Y/N) were. Daadi grasped (Y/N)’s elbow as (Y/N) hissed.

“Daadi, what is he doing here?”

“It seemed that Tina invited him and neglected to tell us that.”

Nanami frowned in confusion before (Y/N) moved away from them to get Haibara. Daadi tapped her foot nervously which worried Nanami as he held onto her hand.

“Daadi? What happened? What’s going on?”

Daadi exhaled, rubbing her forehead.

“(Y/N)’s father is here. He … and (Y/N) are not on good terms.”

(Y/N) and Haibara reached them, all four of them were about to shift and leave the venue when Tina strutted up to them with (Y/N)’s father in tow. There was a smug expression on her face as she dramatically exclaimed.

“Arjun Maama! I’m so happy you agreed to come. Thank you! Oh, (Y/N)! Did you meet with Maama? How long has it been since you saw each other?”

Daadi, (Y/N) and Arjun blankly blinked, trying to look anywhere but at each other as Tina squealed.

“Ah! I’m so glad you guys get to reunite. Unfortunately I have to go and cut my cake.”

Tina walked off, having succeeded in creating an awkward atmosphere. While all the party guests were enjoying and conversing with one another, the people surrounding (Y/N) were silent. Nanami and Haibara shared apprehensive glances, unsure what to say and do. (Y/N)’s eyes narrowed at Arjun and Daadi was looking anywhere and everywhere..

Arjun rocked back and forth on his heels before swallowing the frog in his throat, pathetically smiling as he turned to Daadi.

"How … are you Mum?"

Daadi looked down, unable to look at anyone in the awkward situation. Arjun switched the conversation to Haibara.

"And Haibara. You … look just like your father."

Haibara frowned and folded his arms, not bothering to answer him. No one was responding to Arjun as he scratched at his head before noticing Nanami. He put a hand out to introduce himself.

"Hello. Tina told me that you're (Y/N)'s boss. I'm Arjun Aggarwal. Her father."

This triggered (Y/N) as she spat through gritted teeth.

"You're not my father. He died thirteen years ago."

Daadi and Arjun flinched from her violent words, he decided to pocket his hands. Nanami exhaled softly, unsure of how to go about this situation. Arjun's face softened as he gave a solemn nod.

"(Y/N), I … am so glad to see you."

"Are you really? Because the minute you were here, you ignored me and went straight to talking to Haibara, Daadi and Nanami."

His ears perked up at the sound of Nanami's name, looking at the tall blond man. Strangely his eyes watered before he returned to (Y/N).

"(Y/N) … I wish I could turn back time and fix my mistake. You don't know how much I regret leaving you."

"No you don't because if you did. You would have approached me a long time ago and taken me back home. Instead you dumped me into Daadi's hands."

People were slowly starting to get intrigued by the conversation that was brewing as Daadi tapped (Y/N) on the shoulder.

"Dear, I feel we should move this somewhere-"

"You don't get to say your regrets! You gave me up the moment when I needed you the most! Daadi was stuck taking care of me like her child when you should have done that."

Daadi dropped her hands and stepped back, deciding maybe it was best if her granddaughter let it all out. Haibara wrapped a comforting arm around her. Meanwhile Nanami cupped her shoulder to take her away from what was a brewing argument.

"(Y/N), this isn't the place-"

Arjun's heart pinched as he confessed.

"You are right but after your mother's death … I lost everything. I … lost half of myself. Seeing you everyday just reminded me of her. I … didn't want to lose you too, that's why I asked Daadi to take care of you."

"You weren't the only one who lost her. I lost my mother!"

(Y/N) was downright close to shouting and she was attracting more attention to herself. Unbeknownst to her, her face flushed with heat and her body trembled with anger. Everything was starting to bubble over as she stepped right into her father's face. Nanami looked around to see people looking over and he knew that it was time to cut off the conversation.

Nanami wrapped his arms around (Y/N) and began to drag her out of the event hall. This pissed her off more as she tried to escape Nanami's grasp to go back and argue with her father. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and stared straight ahead at the commotion.

Arjun was dejected and heartbroken as his eyes began to fill with tears, turning to face Daadi and Haibara.

"Ma. Please."

In that moment, Daadi could see the deep pools of regret and sorrow and soon the man in front of her morphed into her child. As much as she wanted to be angry for her grandchild, she couldn't. Seeing her son so vulnerable made her realise that he genuinely did regret his decision and it took a lot of difficulty to face his daughter. It was a decision he made with great difficulty.

Arjun stepped forward and placed his hands on Daadi's shoulder, sniffling and pleading.

"Ma, please. Please believe me. I truly want to say sorry. I … want to make things right."

Her heart lurched and weakened at her son, as she placed a tentative hand on his cheek. As quickly as she placed it, she pulled it away and went to follow Nanami and (Y/N). It was just Haibara and Arjun left as Arjun tried a one last attempt to get through.

"Haibara, please."

"Please what, Mr. Aggarwal?"

"I had to leave her with Daadi. I wouldn't have been able to take care of her in the state I was in. I would have lost her."

"You lost her the moment you gave her away. And she ended up losing herself because you weren't there to heal her. Who knows? She could have been there to take care of you too, Mr. Aggarwal."

And with that final nail in the coffin, Haibara stalked off to go after his friend. Leaving Arjun to stew in these final words.

[aita-blorbos]

(Cw mild brief descriptions of gore)

AITA for knowingly sending my son into a death trap?

I (61M) have owned this rental location for animatronics for several years ago, and have been using them for experiments for a while since one of them killed my daughter and got the restaurant shut down. Now, recently they've been becoming increasingly aggressive towards me, as I give them controlled shocks to keep them in line, and they're partially made from the souls of five children I murdered. And so, I can no longer go down there.

So what I did is asked my son (26M) to head down there, telling him that he could put his sister (died several years ago) back together. What ended up happening was the animatronics down there fused themselves into one being, scooped all of my son's organs out, and wore him as a skinsuit while his body rotted away, before leaving his corpse on the sidewalk. He died, of course, but came back to life, and proceeded to send me a voicemail threatening my life.

Now, I know I do not come across well here. But you must understand, there was much on the line for me. Did I know my son would most likely die if he was sent down there? Of course! He's always resembled me, after all. And was I the one to cause the deaths of the souls haunting the animatronics, including my daughter's? Absolutely. But I am a scientist first and a father, and had I not been able to keep my experiments going... knowledge is an immensely meaningful pursuit. You expect me to give that up, for what?

And my son isn't blameless either. You see, when he was fourteen, he played a practical joke on my other son, and caused his death. And to send me, his father, a threatening voicemail because he's angry I didn't tell him everything is simply disrespectful. Why, that voicemail prompted me to take apart the other animatronics that had the dead childrens' souls, and they proceeded to corner me, making me fear for my life! I went into the suit that I used to kill those children because of their threats, and it painfully slaughtered me, causing me to bleed out slowly and painfully! How could anyone side with him for that? All this grief I've been given, all because my son decided to threaten my life after I sent him into a deathtrap.

Now, of course, I am still alive. My body is bleeding out and barely functional, but one thing you must know about me is that I am an immensely determined man. I refuse to succumb to something as menial as death. Even if it did take me for a moment, even if it took me for several years, I'll never let myself simply fall into its jaws. No matter what, I'll always come back.

This brings up the fact that my son is still alive, and functionally immortal, all thanks to me! Granted, his body is rotting away and he's become a shambling corpse that's just barely keeping itself together, but he is still alive. And my death was far more painful- his organs getting scooped out only hurt for a moment, while I've been left with sharp pieces of metal and electronics piercing my entire body as I bleed out. He has the nerve to think he's entitled to hunt me down after I caused his painful death, while MY death was far worse?

And so, I return to the question I asked at the start of this post. I knowingly sent my son into a deathtrap, and he proceeded to send me a threatening voicemail. I truly and honestly do not think I was in the wrong here, but I find your feedback extremely valuable. AITA?

(Fandom: FNAF)

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday evening lovely fandom :) The work flirts continue on and in front of EVERYONE at the station might I add in this one. Like they’re not even trying to hide it at this stage in their relationship. God I love s4. Lets get this started eh?

4x03 In the Line Of Fire

We first catch Tim talking to Grey in the locker room. (Lucy did appear earlier but was for SL don't care about with Nolan ha) Wade suggests a Sergeants aide to him. Tim being Tim sees it as a sign of weakness. Like he can’t handle his workload. He is defensive and says he doesn’t need one. Grey knows where his head is and says it’s not weak to need one. They're short staffed it makes sense to. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Wade suggesting Lucy to him.

He’s not wrong they’re seamless together. They miss riding together (not that either will admit this) It makes perfect sense on paper. You can see the wheels turning in Tim’s head above as he considers this. Now I think his immediate gut reaction is Lucy. Not a doubt in my damn mind. But as he continues to mull it over he sees the cons of it. If you’re not in tune with Tim you might not get his motives for not choosing her right away.

We will delve into that later in the episode. But I know when he thinks on it more it’s because he wants to protect her. On multiple levels by not choosing her. I love this about him. His first instinct is to protect Lucy above all else. Emotionally, her career, you name it he’s protecting it. Love this man.

Friggin Nolan overhears this and jumps the gun. What else is new? Foot in mouth disease is his go to. He is causing unecessary friction because he can’t keep his mouth shut. (I mean it leads to a delightful episode for them but I have to give him shit.) It's setting both Tim and Lucy up for failure with the aide news. Nolan telling Lucy that Tim is going to pick her to be his go-fer with such certainty does just that. Saying he heard Grey tell Tim to do so. Getting her all excited he’s going to choose her.

When Tim picks Webb instead Lucy is CRUSHED. Tim is looking in her general direction too which is even more misleading. Her actions above are screaming very loudly how upset she is. I love how much Lucy uses her hands when she is upset. She fidgets and doesn’t know what to do with herself at all. I’m Italian so I can relate haha I feel like she is going through so many emotions in this moment. Hurt he didn’t choose her, agitated that he chose Webb, confused why he would choose anyone but her and lastly pouting because he didn’t choose her.

Petty Lucy is born in this moment and I love it. It's like being told your crush is gonna ask you out and then doesn’t…. You also know she’s going to be jealous and try and lure it out of Tim why he didn't. Because well Lucy LOL She’s doing all these things while Nolan is catching Grey up about his case. Having a loud pout session front and center for Tim and all to see haha Makes me laugh so much. She is deeply upset and everyone will know about it haha

Lucy gives Nolan more grief (as she should) about misreading the Sergeant-Aide situation. Now she’s in analysis mode. Trying to break down why he did what he did. Nolan stating the obvious that it's bothering her Tim didn't pick her. (Duh. You should be a detective. Oh wait....) Lucy explains why this opportunity would be beneficial to her above. She’s not wrong but she is also refusing to beg. Wants him to come crawling to her. Admit he wants her there not the other way around. Oh petty Lucy you are hilarious to watch.

Doesn’t want to give Tim the satisfaction of having her ask. Or having her fate in his hands again. Wants him to be the one to give in and want her around. To Lucy she’s earned that spot with him. Wants Tim to recognize she should be his aide. Nolan should be smart enough to stay clear of this couples spat. But it is Nolan so…he is dealing with her going off haha Lucy finishes off her rant telling John if there is one thing she knows its Tim is definitely missing her right now.

We cut to Tim having a blast with Webb LMFAO They're talking about the game last night. How Webb has season tickets to both the Dodgers and Angels. That he can hit him up anytime for some. You can tell Tim is having a good time with Webb. If Lucy could see this interaction right now it would break her heart. Not really missing her at the moment haha He’s in sports heaven right now.

The way Lucy is reacting to Webb being Tim’s aide is so funny. She literally stomping her foot like but that’s my Tim and my position. Minute she sees Webb at the food trucks she’s on him. Lucy is so jealous they’re having a good time. The way she says 'Really? that's....awesome' (Sure it is..) Sabotage becomes her next play.

Asking Webb if he’d like to know how to stay on Tim's good side. She checks behind her to make sure Tim isn't catching her trickery ahaha She knows he wouldn't like these 'tips'. Smh. Lucy Chen you are playing dirty…. Transparent as a glass house my dear. They get interrupted by a sniper shooting a car that crashes into their lunch spot. So we don’t get to hear these ‘tips’ of hers. All we know is it won't end well for Webb.

We cut back to Webb and Tim in their shop. Talking about the weird case they have right now. He starts going on about his cat personality. Tim’s face. I’m dying. Eric is the king of expressions and I'm laughing so hard. He is so uncomfortable. When Webb asks Tim what his is? It's then Tim knows where this is stemming from. He immediately asks if Lucy put him up to this? Knows his wife too damn well. Like he wasn’t going to figure that out ASAP. Or maybe that was part of her plan. To torture him and have him know she was the reason behind it. These two are ridiculous and I love it.

So begins the ridiculous childishness that is these two in this episode. (I'm loving this BTW) Well Lucy was already there. Been living there for a hot minute heh. Now that Tim knows she wants the job it’s game on. Because why talk about this like adults? When they can work flirt this to death. LMAO Not only that but torture each other along the way. Be more married you two my god. They clearly miss riding with one another but won't be the first to blink. Their competitive nature not letting them yield any control.

The amount of flirting going on in this scene. My god. And it's happening in roll call of all places. Shamelessly flirting in front of the entire station. Tim calling Lucy out for wanting the job. Her innocently saying 'What?' Like she didn’t just sabotage that man out of insane jealously and pettiness LOL

Tim straight up calls her out on it. Saying the cat personality was ALL her. Lucy continues her clueless act with the hint of a cocky smirk. She’s trying so hard not to break this battle of wills they have going on. Her body language betraying her so badly. Tim is onto her and it’s so damn funny. Tim thinks he has the upper hand in this conversation. Knowing she wants the job and is very aware of her sabotage. Thinks the scales are tipping his way right now.

That is until Lucy crushes him with her words and flirting. He’s stunned into silence. You know this man loves it when she does this stuff. He’s mad he likes it. Lucy drives him insane and he goes back for seconds every time. I love how Tim is so caught up in this flirt he forgets where he is. The way he double checks behind him is hilarious. Like she said something dirty to him in public and he’s red baha Also making sure no one else is hearing this convo of theirs. How she just owned his ass during it. Can you spot the married couple?

To continue the petty childish run they're currently on Tim gets back at Lucy quickly. Saying he wants to spread the love. Give someone else a shot at being his go-fer. Her face in that second gif LMFAO. Lucy could not be more smug if she tried. The way she pumps her eyebrows at him. Thinking she has won this battle of theirs. He’s going to pick her. Game over. She's wondering what to him so long. Then he picks someone sure to get under her skin. Smitty…

He makes sure to look her in the damn eye as he says it. The audacity of this man. He knows EXACTLY how to get under her skin. Looks her in the eye, smiles that devious smile, and says Smitty. Such an ass lmao but he’s her ass. Drives her just as insane as she drives him. I’m sure the room is thinking. ‘God just make out already’ LOL Damnit love them so much.

Lucy notes her frustration very loudly. Grey may not totally understand what’s going on but knows it’s something. Calls Lucy out on it. Asking if she has a problem? She is immediately defeated with a ‘No….’and ends with a even sadder ‘sir….’ Tim has won this round and she can’t do a damn thing about it. These two are so ridiculous and I love them for it. It’s like she forgot their little feud was in front of Roll Call and Grey had to bring her back to reality poor girl. lol

Lucy gets her's in the end though. Smitty being Smitty. Tim is regretting his decision so much already. He's telling Tim all the things he can't do. Lucy hangs back and is enjoying the show. Her smugness returns quickly as Tim has to load the war bags cause of Smitty's 'bad back' LMAO

I love how the scene starts with her eyeing him across the bullpen. She come over and asks why Smitty isn’t doing the paperwork? Tim says he claims to be allergic to paper LMFAO. Lucy's smugness continues. Tim tells her it’s not funny.... Leads her right into her convo with him. Saying he should’ve just asked her instead. Tim replying he was trying to do her a favor. That people might view her riding with him again as a step back. Now we can loop back to why he hesitated in the first place in detail.

You can hear the hurt in her voice. The way she feels offended that he would prefer the station to know he’d rather ride with Smitty than her. When its anything but that. I talk about Tim always wanting to protect Lucy. Whether that is physically or emotionally. His first gut reaction is to shield her. That’s what he was doing in this moment. He respects her so much and thinks so highly of her as an officer.

The last thing he would want ANYONE in the station to think was she didn’t earn it. He definitely didn’t want to be a proponent of that either. Tim has seen how hard she's had to work to get to a good place in her career. Last thing he would want to do is jeopardize that with people thinking otherwise. Just because he wants her back as his partner. I love that so much. He’s guarding her career in this moment. Doesn’t want her to endure any unnecessary BS for being his aide. Refuses to be selfish and puts her first.

Also I think he is aware people know of their dynamic. That people will think she got it for unsavory reasons. Reasons he would never allow but people will think it anyways. His intentions are so very Tim Bradford in how crazy honorable they are. Lucy is listening intently and understands why he’s doing it. But she can’t help but fight against it. Saying screw what others think. Voicing how archaic it is for people to just assume it's something untoward cause she's a girl and he's a boy.

Tim saying he’s very handsome boy to her LMAO It’s ok babe she knows you are. Painfully aware of it really. He needs that validation from her and it cracks me up. Not the first or the last time he does this either. Lucy’s ‘oh gag’ Oh please woman. You’d jump his bones in a heartbeat if you could. That look in 5x12 alone when she is checking him out once his shirt is off contradicts this moment so much. Showing what a lying liar she was. But sure let’s pretend you think he is ‘Oh gag’ biggest lie yet my friend haha

This next section is my favorite part. Their battle of wills continues down to the friggin wire. From Lucy calling it aide and Tim saying go-fer. HA Then her battling back with why she wants to be his aide (not go-fer) I LOVE the way he is looking at her while she passionately defends why she wants this. Careful Timothy your feelings of admiration/love are showing. Lucy wants this so badly. People and their thoughts be damned.

She’s impressing him once again and it’s written all over that devilishly handsome face of his. Lucy saying what she could get out of it alone is worth putting up with him and his ways. (Like you don't want to be doing this anyways) D and I talked about how this before. How part of her wanting to be his aide is more than just a promotion. Do I think that is truly part of it? Yes. I have no doubt about that. I also think part of it is the safety and familiarity of Tim.

He supports her in a way she will never get with Nolan. Jackson is gone and all she has left emotionally is her person. Her safe space. So her ‘putting up’ with him again is her really just missing him. Craving that familiarity. They both miss each other and this is a way of getting that back. I think Tim’s initial instinct when Grey brought her up was an immediate yes. Then he got his in his head and wanted to protect her instead of what he wanted. Which was to ride with her again.

Before we continue let’s first note how sexy his biceps and forearms are in this part. The way he crosses his arms in a way that just does things to me. Sex on a stick. Just his arms. Also the forearm porn is fantastic. I’m in a river of drool at this point LMAO Man is so fine it’s unfair really. No one should be this handsome and sexy doing something so simple .*ahem* Anyways I do adore Lucy mirroring his body language. Crossing her arms as well. Still not willing to give into him. Look at the stare down in the third gif.

She is smirking because she's on the verge of victory and knows it. Making Tim be the one to break and go for it with her. It’s funny to think about with S5. Because he HAD to be the one to go for it. They were gonna stay in a holding pattern unless he did. Took the leap and the risk. Just like he does here. He’s contemplating holding out longer. The way he taps his fingers on that delicious bicep deciding. He cracks and says ‘What the hell. Let’s do it.’

Lucy lights up like a Christmas tree. Heart eyes galore for him. Tim tells her to show up to roll call an hour early. That way he can go over new procedures and such with her. Lucy thanks him all smiles and so grateful. She throws down one last work flirt as she is leaving about paperwork. He is just as flirty back with his signal for her to go haha Gah I love these two so much hurts my soul lmao. So much chemistry it blows my damn mind. They’re so into each other and don’t have a damn clue. Ah idiots in love. Truly.

Last bit I adore her shirt ‘Tell your dog I said hi' I would so wear this shirt. Very fitting for Melissa. Love Lucy wearing it. Damn I love that episode one giant flirty moment . S4 truly is a gem. All this suppressed UST/love streaming through 22 episodes.

Side notes-non chenford

I love Aaron and Nyla bonding in this one. I’m so glad she chose James. He was the obvious winner between the two. I love watching them develop they so cute. Aaron fixing things at the end was very lovely.

Thank you as always to those who like, comment (oh how I love the comments) , reblog and such. You are the real MVPs. Shall see you all in 4x04 :)

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

Micheal's character is so depressing and so relatable at the same time. Also I wonder what your take is on his and luci's relationship, since they seem pretty close in celestial realm then in nb we see Michael highkey struggling which i don't blame bc he essentially lost 7 siblings at once (including lilith) then in og micheal is still very attached even though he isn't as bad as in nb. I just want your thoughts (you're the only one of 3 including my friend that I trust on Michael analysis/characterization)

First off, thank you so much for listening to my ramblings and praising them so. It's making this hyperfixating little freak very happy

Now, into the analysis. Though, this one is less an analysis and more me compiling everything canon has told us so far, because there's actually a lot there. It's just so spread apart over the course of the story that a lot of people miss the forest for the trees (which I think is another reason Michael as a whole is so misunderstood by the fandom), so it's nice to have a little overview.

Michael and Lucifer's Relationship

It was very nice to see the brotherly tones of Lucifer and Michael's relationship before the war. They seemed to have a typical friendly rivalry, and it was really cute to hear of the two messing with each other in very sibling-like ways.

One example I can think of off the top of my head was angel Lucifer camping out at the site of Michael's new observatory on the night before its grand opening, just to stick it to Michael that he got to his much-anticipated event first. That felt very much like a "little shit sibling" moment.

There was also Michael teasing Lucifer about his wings:

There was also the two of them attempting to pin Father's assignments onto each other, as Lucifer explains here:

They seemed to have a healthy dose of sibling rivalry to their relationship, and it was honestly really adorable.

It's also very clear that the two respected each other greatly. In Season 3, Mammon goes into detail about how much Michael loved Lucifer:

And in Nightbringer, angel Lucifer clearly held Michael in high regard- he seemed to believe Michael was more worthy mentor of Mammon, that he could give Mammon a better shot than he could.

However... I also think their relationship was always a bit dysfunctional. In Nightbringer we see a lot more of how obsessive Michael is- not even just in the wake of his grief after the fall, but even before that. Like this anecdote of Michael constantly sneaking into Lucifer's room:

Now, that's a clear violation of boundaries if I ever did see one. While the two were close, I think it's pretty clear Michael was a little too attached to Lucifer, and that likely caused problems in their relationship even before war broke out. We did get an explanation for this behavior in Season 3 of the OG, though that only paints an even more dysfunctional picture:

Michael idolizing Lucifer to this degree, and projecting himself onto him, is clearly not healthy. And I think Lucifer very well understood that, considering Satan is speaking from his memories of Lucifer's perspective here.

Another remark in Season 3 from angel Lucifer himself indicates that Lucifer didn't exactly see Michael as someone he could confide in:

All in all, I think their relationship was very complicated- as most relationships in Obey Me are. I think they both loved each other deeply, but Michael is the type of person to love a little too hard and that created problems.

Going into speculation territory now, I also think their relationship was tainted by their status in the Celestial Realm and the expectations that were placed upon them. I elaborated on this a little more in this post, but to summarize, I believe Michael is the eldest brother who had a rough time living up to the title while watching Lucifer become everything an eldest sibling "should" be. I think Michael was under a lot of pressure that he wasn't quite mature enough to handle properly, and he knew it. Meanwhile, Lucifer was also pushed to be a perfect, flawless Seraph, the pride and joy of the Celestial Realm- and the perfectionism instilled in him by their father only promoted Michael's idolization of him. We have one brother incredibly insecure with the way he presents himself, leaning on the image of perfection created by an equally insecure brother. It's a self-perpetuating cycle.

I also suspect that Father may have played favorites between the two. I don't have any real concrete evidence of this, but something I've been thinking about lately are the Ring of Light and the Ring of Wisdom, which were created for Lucifer and Michael respectively. In official merch (and possibly in-story as well I don't remember), the Ring of Light is shown to be gold, while the Ring of Wisdom is described to be made of brass and iron. Yeah... if this was intentional I think it's pretty clear who the favorite was here. Come on, at least give Michael silver. I don't think Michael is petty enough to be upset about this specifically, he's not Barb, but it might be indicative of a larger problem in the family dynamic. If Father favored Lucifer, that could also be an explanation for Michael's strange idolization of him.

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Been following along with Budding Romance (🌟 star anon from before) and I just thought of "I won't let you take her away from me Jeremiah" possessive Xavier turning into, wait no "I won't let her take YOU away from ME"

First off 🌟 Nonnie, I love you and your brain. It's beautiful. I smooch you both 💋💋 (and your other ask is in my drafts bc im writing stuff for it!)

GASP! I almost forgot my obligatory @skynapple tag bc she deserves to know how much her fic has changed the brain chemistry of our side of the fandom lol.

SECONDLY- Xavier realizing he's about to lose Jeremiah, who's been with him through what is likely hands down some of the worst moments in his life? I can definitely see that causing some panic.

Roxie and I talked here about Xavier being very resistant to change and how, while he might not realize his dependency on Jeremiah on a conscious level, subconsciously, that's the one person who's been a constant in his life since they left Philos. Even if it's something you hate, humans still NEED consistency to be happy and healthy (both mentally and physically). You might hate getting up at 7am every day, or going to work, but living a life of pure chaos (or existing in pure apathy) just doesn't foster growth and recovery.

So once he realizes that MC might drive a wedge between him and his ONLY support pillar? The singular source of consistency in his life since they arrived on earth? The one person he's been able to count on for any normal conversation where he didn't have to pretend he was someone/something he's not? That would be terrifying. That would be devastating.

Xavier KNOWS Mc will reincarnate. Xavier knows she'll be back. He's lost her at least twice before, likely thrice, maybe more. That is a pain he's dealt with and learned to come to terms with. He's got a spot on his shelf for that pain and grief and processing.

He's never lost Jeremiah. Of all the Backtrackers that have left their cause, died, or outright betrayed him, we as the players know that Jeremiah has remained at his side the entire time, and that definitely means that Xavier is more than aware of it.

The saddest part is that I don't think he'll even realize all of this at first, and I definitely don't think it's his conscious brain either. This is something that likely comes to him in a dream, where he wakes up in a cold sweat with his heart racing as he flies out of bed, light sword drawn in his hand before he's even realized what he's done. Something that rattles him so deeply that it takes him a solid minute just to settle, to sit at the edge of his bed and calm his breathing with his head in his hands as he grapples with the discomfort of realizing just how attached he is to the both of them, but to Jeremiah specifically.

He is damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.

[its-the-sa]

it is serious. the ship just comes off as nasty to me and i dont understand it

oh, then I'm sorry for being dismissive. I thought you were just a hater lol.

but in all seriousness, if a ship seems nasty to you, then a logical explanation of it is probably not going to change your mind. squicks are just gut reactions, so it doesn't really matter whether or not you understand the thing that squicks you. and that's ok! if the ship makes you uncomfortable, you should just block the rw regicide tag (or in my case you should probably just block me entirely lol )

but since you did ask sincerely, I'll at least try to explain why I ship it:

basically, I'm just a sucker for the 'enemies to lovers' trope and the 'villain redemption' trope. show me any two characters who fit both of those, and I'll probably ship it lol

I like villain redemption, because I like tragic villains. I like villains whose actions are inexcusable, but understandable. villains who lash out due to grief and end up doing horrible things in the throes of rage. and I like making them feel bad about it. I like villains who know they are monsters, who know they have done despicably evil things and truly hate themselves for it. and I like giving them a second chance. I like to see them feel remorse and turn away from evil and try to become better people.

and I like enemies to lovers because... well, for a lot of reasons that would probably take several thesis papers to unpack, lmao. but basically there's just something really intimate about two characters who can handle each other at their absolute worst, when no one else can. arti is like an unstoppable force of rage until she meets scav king, who is like an immovable object to her. he's willing to fight her and kill her as many times as he needs to, but he never strikes first, and he always gives her the chance to back down. and since he does have min aggression and max sympathy, I see him as the type of person who would easily forgive someone who is genuinely remorseful. he doesn't want to keep the cycle of violence and hatred going; whenever arti is ready to let go of her rage and stop the bloodshed, so is he. when she's ready to face the consequences of her actions and try to become a better person, he would rather support her than condemn her. he doesn't necessarily expect his people to forgive her, and he doesn't try to make excuses for her or downplay any of the harm she caused. i just think he could personally look at arti and find someone worth caring about underneath all the rage and hate, and in turn she could look at him and find someone she can trust enough to let all that hate go and admit she was wrong.

obviously, this type of relationship could never happen in real life (or if it did, it would be a fucking toxic disaster). but they're just characters, so their relationship doesnt have to be realistic, and I just want their story to have a happy ending I guess.

idk if any of this makes sense to you, but it's fine if not. you don't always have to understand why people like things that you don't like, it's ok to just block them for your own peace of mind. so if this ship still makes you uncomfortable, feel free to block me, I wouldn't take offense. stay safe and remember that fandom is for having fun , so dont stress out about it too much!

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Back back back again, and I don't know guys, I think we should all just totally stab Caesar! Welcome back to a new fortnight of fics that I’ve read and loved recently.

If you want to find more you can see my previous rec lists here!

15 March 2024

Are You Writing From the Heart? by  @luckshiptoshore is now complete!! Congrats Luck! Full disclosure, Luck is one of my very best friends, but that just means I know not only how much of a talented fic writer she is, but also how much of her heart and soul she poured into writing this love letter to queer storytelling, season 4 Destiel as a romcom, meta text (and subtext), and finding out who you really are when society and your upbringing is fighting against you. Castiel is a ghostwriter for L.S. Shore's Supernatural novels about Neal and his brother. Caught in a storytelling rut, Cas finds himself adding the fallen angel character of Bel...what could possible go wrong? Meanwhile at his local writing coffee shop spot, he meets the handsome stranger Dean who is an up and coming standup comedian and Supernatural fanboy. They because firm friends, but that's definitely it because Cas is straight....right?! Following these two dummies as they FAIL TO USE THEIR WORDS is a total joy, as Luck's humorous and emotional writing paired with her eye for detail is so very on point, and I'm so excited more people will finally get to read this story in full.

Baker Six by komodobits because !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot tell you how goddamn excited I was to get this email notification and finally be back in 91w world, and to witness these early stages of Dean and Cas' relationship through Dean's eyes at last. This barely needs a rec because it's THEE 91w Dean, but komodobits hasn't missed a beat in getting back inside their heads and I was once again swept away by this iconic love story against the odds. Head the trigger warnings as always, this is truly on the front lines as a medic in a war zone. Baker Six was written for the very good cause of the fandom Palestine fundraiser, in support of the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund. Please donate if you can!

Truth & despair by @shallowseeker was a recent discovery and such a fascinating read! It's set in a post-15x18 verse, but importantly it features a fun Sam narrative perspective that delights in his lens by...being a bit of an unsympathetic oblivious dummy (affectionate). I really appreciate a crunchy Sam characterisation and oooboy does this pay off. Dean is steeped in his grief for Cas, and Sam is oh so concerned. He reaches out to Mia Vallens to understand his own grieving, and that leads to him making a discovery...Dean's memories of Cas' death aren't what he claims happened. With the unwelcome reappearance of Chuck (he lost...didn't he?) and LITERAL sinkholes appearing in the fabric of the universe, can they figure out what's happening to save Cas and save the world? This wip plays with physics, theology and narrative fuckery in such intriguing ways. I can't wait to see how it wraps up in the next two chapters.

The Leap by @friendofcarlotta started reading this one when Tina reshared it on Leap Day...because of course. I'd actually read it before but it more than lived up to the reread. 'Castiel Krushnic is a police officer in Soviet-occupied East Berlin. He is also gay, in a city where that’s a dangerous thing to be. One night, he meets Dean Winchester, a mechanic from the American sector. Their mutual attraction is instant, and a convenient hookup quickly turns into a passionate love affair that defies all rules and expectations.' Meticulously researched, emotional, heartrending and thought provoking. I highly recommend taking the leap on this fic!

See you in two weeks and OMG it's @deancaspinefest time!!!! I'm so excited *clears calendar*

Tag list under the cut - let me know if you'd like to be added to be notified of future recs!

@dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

[ccuniculusmolestus]

What do you think about Camilla/Charles? I don't know what to think, was Camilla forced to sleep with him prior to his deterioration/alcoholism or was it out of choice earlier? Because if she was indeed initially doing it consensually.....it would baffle me, considering how romanticised she is in this fandom, and apparently criticising her means you're a misogynist.

Oh boy.....

I agree w u sooooo much. Anyway, I do think it was consensual starting out (which must have been their teens probably). Now, not to imply that power dynamics don't exist even in siblings (you know older siblings have more of an influence on a younger sibling) and you know, especially in that time, a brother would have more influence/power over a sister.

THAT BEING SAID. Them being twins becomes very significant. Not only are twins a symbolism of mirror imagery (so then they are "equals") and the power dynamic might still exist but it wouldn't be as pronounced. Additionally, Camilla and Charles' similarities are focused on intensely in the book. Donna didn't just do this randomly (writers seldom do), and she didn't do it just to focus on Camilla's boyishness, at least not in my opinion.

It leads me to believe the relationship between them very much started out consensually, though the whys might remain murky. The loss of one's parents will cause trauma and everyone deals differently w it, idk, I don't want to say it was their way of coping bcs it just seems.....weirdly disrespectful.

I see people always bashing on Charles for what he became towards the end of the book, but Richard remains a well liked figure despite literally fantasising about r wording camilla. Curious.

I like Charles, perhaps even a bit more than I like camilla. (In the first part). He seemed more human and likable to me 🤷‍♀️ Not henry, not Francis, not Richard and not camilla possessed the reluctance or empathy when they, in a very cowardly manner, murdered someone who had thought of them as friends. Richard might have expressed grief and regret later on, but I take anything he says with a grain of salt, since he most likely only wants to paint himself in a better light. It was Charles who seemed truly broken after what they did, which makes me think he was better than all of them, which makes his corruption and deterioration even more sinister and tragic.

And I'm sorry you feel that way, but its so valid. To those people who bully others for their dislike of a fictional female character (yes. Very feminist of you to bully women (and others) for not liking the fictional character you can project on. Where would international feminism be without your tumblerina war on members of a niche fandom.) Camilla is not a feminist icon. She would not like you if you were another girl in her class because she thrived off the attention she got on being the sole girl in a pack of boys. Maybe its because Richard's hyper romanticised version of her is so vivid that most of you forget what camilla really was like, and even if you dont care for/congratulate her for being a "girlboss" man manipulator (for leading them on and playing a weird game of incestous jealousy with her incestous brother)-- i dont know, incest just makes me uncomfortable, and I kinda lose respect for characters who engage in it consensually. Even if its fiction it just gives me the ick.

That being said, I don't care if this fando, romanticises camilla or kin her or project on her-- bitch idgaf. Do whatever you want, write and interpret her as you wish- the fun part about having your mind is that ITS UR MIND!!! Whatever happens there is none of my damn biz 😘 and if this answer triggered anyone, I also dgaf abt that