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#this has been ongoing for years at this point
sayruq · 2 days
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The Israeli army is likely to carry out a fresh massacre in the northern Gaza Strip town of Beit Lahia, initiating a new round of forced evacuation orders against its estimated 50,000 citizens who remained in the area. The UN and other international parties need to take immediate action to protect Palestinian civilians. After declaring the town of Beit Lahia to be a "dangerous combat zone" and threatening to "act with extreme force," the Israeli army started to launch heavy air and artillery attacks on the town, followed by fresh evacuation orders. The Israeli army set up shelters for the town of Beit Lahia's residents to evacuate towards known shelters in blocks number 1770, 1766, but these were originally destroyed areas that are unfit for any form of life and lack water supply as well as functioning sewage systems. The two designated evacuation points are unsafe areas and, like all areas of the town of Beit Lahia in particular, and the northern Gaza Strip in general, have previously been subjected to widespread destruction, including shelter centres and public facilities, as a result of the ongoing Israeli military attack since October 7. In light of the ongoing crimes of genocide and forced displacement policy in the Gaza Strip, every area designated by the Israeli army as a military operation area is completely destroyed, subjected to a strict and oppressive siege, and horrifically massacred, as the remaining residents have nowhere safe to flee. In the absence of strong international accountability mechanisms and any swift international action to put an end to these crimes, which have been going on for six months, the military operation that the Israeli army launched in the town of Beit Lahia will result in more serious crimes and violations of international humanitarian law and international human rights law. The town of Beit Lahia was the scene of multiple large-scale military operations by the Israeli army during the previous seven months of its military assault on the Gaza Strip. One such operation occurred at the end of December last year, which resulted in extensive damage to homes, infrastructure, and civil and service facilities, with the town's buildings and infrastructure being destroyed to the tune of approximately 90%. The Israeli army's Beit Lahia military operation is taking place on the 200th day of the massive military assault on the Gaza Strip, which has had horrific consequences due to its direct and deliberate targeting of Palestinian civilians amid the shameful international inaction to oblige Israel to abide by international humanitarian law and the orders of the International Court of Justice to stop its genocide crime.
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yurimother · 2 days
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Yuri Anime Review - Whisper Me a Love Song Series Premiere
A delightful school romance that captures unfettered joy and attraction
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2023 was nothing short of an incredible year for Yuri anime, packed with an astonishing lineup of new offerings, including Yuri Is My Job!, Stardust Telepath, The Vexations of a Shut-In Vampire Princess, I’m in Love with a Villainess, my personal favorite, the runaway success that was The Magical Revolution Of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady and of course the continuation and conclusion of the surprise Yuri sci-fi Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury. Whisper Me a Love Song has the unenviable task of following up and providing a cap on this unprecedented boom of Yuri anime. The adaptation of Eku Takeshima’s high school romance manga was initially announced alongside many of the aforementioned works. However, it ended up being delayed from its initial January debut for various reasons, not the least of which was the switch in directors from Xin Ya Cai to Akira Mano.
Further compounding the pressure on this series is the comparisons it will draw to Bloom Into You, one of the most beloved and well-received Yuri series of all time. Now, these comparisons are mostly unfair, as Bloom Into You had the mighty weight of Kadokawa’s marketing behind it, although, to be fair, Whisper Me a Love Song’s campaign has been no slouch. Moreover, the two series are very different, save for their shared high school setting and Yuri romance. Bloom Into You was a slow-burn romance that leaned into shounen drama, while Whisper Me a Love Song takes a noticeably lighter tone and incorporates more slice of life elements. It does not help that the Whisper Me a Love Song manga debuts the same year that Bloom Into You concluded its serialized run and would go on to replace the latter as the top Yuri series in many audiences’ eyes, and for myself, would go onto fill the same niche of an extended high school romance. All this is to say that the expectations around Whisper Me a Love Song are unreasonably mammoth. However, the anime’s debut episode assured us that we are in for a warm and harmonious display of young love.
The Welcome Concert
The show begins as Himari Kino (Hana Shimano) wakes up for her first day of high school. At a welcome ceremony for new students, she witnesses the light music club band, SSGIRLS, perform their song "Humming Love,” and the temporary lead vocalist, Yori Asanagi (Asami Seto), instantly enchants her. This scene catalyzes the series’ ongoing story and helps highlight some of the most critical aspects and features of this adaptation: the music and the animation. 
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Whisper Me a Love Song does not set the world on fire visually, boasting animation that, at its best moments, can be described as “pretty good.” Yet, it does more than a serviceable job, smartly utilizing its resources and clever framing that keeps the viewer’s attention and makes the story easy to follow while saving on animation. There are some flaws, such as stiffer animation during dialogue-heavy scenes and the noticeable use of 3D CGI elements for background characters and objects, like flower petals. However, these do not distract from the narrative nor detract from one’s enjoyment. However there are positives as well to point out here.
For one, the series does a fantastic job with its lighting, applying generous highlights to characters’ faces and hair, enhancing their features, and preventing them from coming across visually as flat or simplistic. The frequent use of a light, soft background that bathes the subjects in a warm glow matches this choice, and they work together in tandem to help convey the anime’s light and happy tone. The anime occasionally employs this lighting to accentuate story beats, such as when Yori peaks through the curtain at the crowd, casting most of her body in shadow as she worries about performing in front of such a large crowd.
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This welcome ceremony has noticeably different animation than the rest of the episode. Here, the members of SSGIRLS are injected with an electric sense of movement, playing their instruments with enthusiasm and energy that honestly felt jarring when compared to the more limited shorts of Himari reacting to the performance. Given its importance in the story and the fact that the anime reuses this scene for the opening theme, it is clear why the animation was given more attention and resources. However, and I am likely in the minority here, I actually dislike it for this reason. The heavily referenced footage stands out a bit too much, especially given that it is intercut with more straightforward static shots of Himari, creating a jarring effect that pulls focus away from the characters and their feelings.
The Musical Advantage
Where the series did not disappoint me is musically. In recent years, Yuri works have drawn more and more from musical-themed settings, including Hello, Melancholic!, The Moon on a Rainy Night, and Amongst Us, not to mention the myriad of “Yuri-ish” musical series. However, the apparent disconnect is that manga and webtoons are visual mediums devoid of sound and score. While some titles, such as  After Hours and The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn’t a Guy at All, mitigate this flaw by releasing companion playlists or soundtracks, it is not the same as incorporating the music into the product itself.
Here, Whisper Me a Love Song’s jump to animation truly adds to the experience, elevating it above its source material. Himari’s instantaneous infatuation is so much more believable when we, the viewers, can experience the music alongside her; her “loving” obsession with Yori made that much more real because we also hear the upperclassman’s performance, provided by Kana Sasakura’s wonderful singing voice. Studios Cloud Hearts and Yokohama Animation Laboratory are, of course, aware of music’s central role in the story and have done it justice, giving the fictitious SSGirls multiple chances to shine, not just in the episode itself but also in performing the opening theme, “Follow Your Arrows.”
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Returning to the episode, after the welcome ceremony, Himari runs into Yori and begins to fangirl over her, confessing that she “fell in love at first sight.” Yori is stunned by this sudden confession and taken with Himari’s cuteness and openness. After confiding in her bandmates, she realizes that she has fallen in love, much to the other’s delight.
Supporting Characters Steal the Show
These conversations are excellent, as they give us the chance to get to see more of the series’ other characters. Like the original manga, Whisper Me a Love Song has a terrific supporting cast that adds to the humor and drama. Each of the other characters has a striking, unique design and personality that helps them stand out, like the drummer Mari, who is slightly more stoic and comes from a wealthy family. She is contrasted well by the playing keyboardist, Kaori, who often flirts and teases Mari. Siblings Miki and Aki act as the best friends of the lead characters, usually providing them guidance and encouragement. Each girl excels on screen thanks to some stand-out writing and performance. While each is different from the others,, they all have one unifying characteristic: their encouragement and excitement for Yori and Himari, which is infection, making us want to root for them, too. The lone exception is Aki, who herself harbors feelings for Yori, which will come into play in future episodes.
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I like these supporting characters even more than I did in the manga, thanks in no small part to Minami Yoshida's fantastic work adapting Eku Takeshima’s characters to the screen. They capture each character perfectly; Himari is cute, ditzy, and full of adoring exuberance. Yori’s appearance portrays her as cool and elegant, but her movements and posture help convey her more anxious and apprehensive nature. And, of course, each of their friends is striking and memorable, and their depiction matches their personality. For example, Mari is prim and proper, weaning her uniform and hair unadulterated from modification and maintaining a hardened, no-nonsense expression. However, Kaori has a more rounded, goofier face, complete with a dopey smile and a bright yellow hoodie, betraying her more playful personality.
Rooftop Romances
The episode's high points come in its second half, two scenes on the rooftop with Himari and Yori alone. The first begins with Yori singing as she thinks about Himari and her confusing feelings for her, while unbeknownst to Yori, Himari walks upstairs thinking about Yori’s singing. It is an excellent reflection of the central conflict these two will face in their upcoming “romance,” the fact that their feelings of love for each other are different, with Yori’s being a more mature romantic attraction and Himari’s a child-like obsession for the older girl’s singing.
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Put plainly, it is beautiful, showcasing the best singing we hear from Yori, a light, melodic hum, and some of the best emotional work of the episode as she makes sense of her feelings. Unfortunately, this scene also showcases Whisper Me a Love Song’s weakest aspect, its pacing.
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The rhythm of the manga was already a frustrating issue, as it both fussed about with little for extended stretches and introduced and resolved conflicts with little time for rumination or exploration. This issue is only exacerbated by the anime’s truncated story. The first episode alone covers two and a half chapters of the manga and sees Yori change her emotional state about a half dozen times, first being anxious about singing, then confused by her feelings for Himari, then realizing she might be in love, confessing that love, feeling the embarrassment of her misunderstanding, and at last confirming that she is in love with Himari and vowing to make the other girl recognize and reciprocate her feelings. It is less of an emotional rollercoaster and more of a rapid, rambling barrage of issues and feelings that have no time to breathe or create any real impact in the story. I wished they had spent a few episodes playing out this arc, letting Yori slowly come to terms with these new feelings of love for Himari and working to overcome her trepidation surrounding them.
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After plotting with her friends how to make Himari fall for her, the episode ends as Yori walks up to the roof to find Himari already waiting for her, a nice flip on the previous rooftop scene. There, Himari requests Yori sing for her, which she does. It is an exceptional sequence. The characters' feelings and differing attractions for each other come across so clearly. Himari is so visibly excited to hear Yori sing, and the older girl has such a wonderful mix of cool and collected affection and awkwardness that you cannot help but smile while watching it. Both girls have such a warm, gentle, and loving disposition, perfectly matched by the soft orange sky and quiet, empty rooftop. As Yori sings, the perspective shifts and employs some scenic Yuri, focusing on the sky and indirect views of each character until finally settling back on Himari’s blushing, glowing face from Yori’s perspective, a perfect encapsulation of the adoring girl that she has fallen in love with.
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Conclusion
I am so happy with Whisper Me a Love Song. The anime did everything it needed to, from maintaining the manga’s fun, light tone of young love to adding excellent music that helps you understand how these characters became drawn to one another. It has flaws, with middling animation quality and an unfortunate dedication to the poor pacing and speed of the manga. Nevertheless, these do not distract from an overall adorable and fun experience. Most importantly, the anime nails the excitement, affectionate, and intense joyfulness of its two characters and their love for each other. I cannot wait to enjoy every second of their relationship and confidently declare that this Yuri series is an easy recommendation, untainted by the usual list of qualifications or warnings I am usually required to make. Whisper Me a Love Song is just a sweet, simple, and delightful school romance that you should absolutely watch. 
Ratings: Story – 8 Characters – 10 Art – 6 LGBTQ – 9 Sexual Content – 0 Music – 7 Final – 8
You can stream Whisper Me a Love Song with English subtitles on HIDIVE.
This review is made possible by Avery Riehl and the rest of the YuriMother Patrons. Support the Patreon today for early access, exclusive content, and to help fund LGBTQ+ content.
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scintillyyy · 21 hours
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tim drake high school friendships, ranked by closeness to tim at the end of post-crisis:
sebastian ives. ives, ives, NOBODY out here is doing it like ives. ives was the FIRST civilian friend ever introduced to tim & the first friend tim made upon entering public school for the very first time. ives has been there since tim's second mini-series. ives as tim's friend is so important he is one of the only high school friends to be brought back into tim's story by others after his creator, dixon, left: he makes an appearance/is referenced as a long term friend with lewis (robin), yost (red robin), & fabnic (red robin). he has at least two major health scares & a fakeout health scare. let's make one thing absolutely clear here: ives *is* tim's best civilian friendship, which has endured as a friendship through *multiple* high school transfers away from him. absolutely no contest.
danny temple. listen. danny & tim don't interact, like at all, post danny leaving brentwood but that's just because the whole kid kobra thing never took off. i'm sure if it did, tim & danny would have interacted a lot more post separation. and listen, danny is the "civilian" friend who *knows* tim is robin. they went on basically two vacations together. they're far closer than your standard high school friend.
zoanne. listen, she may have been a love interest who didn't work out, but that didn't stop them from also being friends. her friendship to tim is also referenced in yost's run in red robin. as far as tim & high school friends, since tim tends to drift apart from people once they're no longer at the same school, zo ekes through with a recency bias for tim. in an end of robin/red robin era she'd be on his current list of civilians he felt close to. she's shown to be extremely worried about him in red robin #10 indicating ongoing friendship.
kevin "hudmeister" hudman, hudson, callie evans: these lovelies were part of tim's core group and have the benefit of length of friendship going for them. hudman & hudson were a core part of tim's W&W group that made several recurring appearances through tim's initial high school years & had a significant part in his miniseries ii. only lower because ostensibly tim did lose contact with them upon going to brentwood, still higher because they played a decently important secondary/tertiary role through many years of tim's publication
darla: darla is the person at louis grieves tim actually likes, okay? he's devastated when she dies and he can't save her and she's brought back to interact with tim again as warlock's daughter & has a small but significant storyline with her friendship with tim as a result.
buzz & kip: when tim is at brentwood, he spends most of his free non-danny time hanging with buzz and kip. they both have a couple issue storylines that tim is involved in & he seems to like them pretty well. once tim leaves brentwood, however, the friendship dies away and is not mentioned again.
ali ben khadir: tim's first roommate, gets a significant storyline and then vanishes, so is below the other brentwood kids. tim likes him though, so that puts him above-
wesley: tim's second brentwood roommate is next, because they spent a significant amount of time together & again had multiple issues to showcase the development of their relationship. wes is under kip & buzz & ali though, because tim doesn't actually like him all that much despite the fact that they're nominally friends. he grows to he okayish with him. i guess.
bernard: listen *if we're talking post-crisis only* (which we are), bernard falls *solidly* at the bottom of the list as tim's least important/significant civilian friend. there's no significant story focused on tim's friendship to bernard specifically, tim is barely tolerating him most of the time & is friends with him basically only because bernard is pushy about being friends with tim & after tim leaves louis grieves he doesn't bother to keep in touch to the point where bernard doesn't even know where tim ended up, only that he's heard *from other people* tim might be in bludhaven (who apparently are in the know as to tim's location). now obviously we can't ignore the trauma that led tim to ghost him, but since bernard after this is never brought up again in post-crisis, he's a pretty solid 'that friendship definitely died once they were no longer in each other's immediate vicinity & were basically only friends with each othet due to circumstances of going to school together only'
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skimblyshanks · 1 year
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The lack of regard for actors in general when it comes to labor rights within the arts is galling, actually.
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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elizabethrobertajones · 4 months
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Oh, I found out why I've been in agony... Apparently my intercostal muscles are all clenched rock solid between my ribs. The physio made a claw and went "chhhh!!" to demonstrate how intensely grippy they were.
I've been assigned a really difficult exercise called "breathing" and it SUCKS.
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kenniko · 5 months
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anyways to my kenniko wattpad fic (Closing Doors) readers who are also on tumblr. U guys will be the first to know that the next chapter will be the last chapter🤧🤧
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rosielav · 1 year
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Desperately need to find another currently ongoing podcast to listen to. I have nothing in my feed that releases new episodes except for MBMBAM and that's not nearly as exciting as I'd like it to be haha
PLEASE REC ME YOUR FAVORITE PODCASTS, PREFERABLY ONES STILL ONGOING OR WITH LOTS OF EPISODES!!!
Blease 😭😭😭😭
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thebirdandhersong · 1 year
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songbird's season of general sadness/first real grief/sorrow is coming to an end: (in chronological/journeying order) songs and poetry that helped my heart a lot these past few months :)
Always Good, Andrew Peterson / Marjorie, Andrew Osenga / Ask Polly article I read on a whim: 'My Boyfriend Refuses to Change' / You're On Your Own, Kid, Taylor Swift / One Foot in Front of the Other, Griff / Heavy, Mary Oliver / Monday by @madamescarlette / The Letter, Linda Gregg / Summer's Retrospective by @madamescarlette / Ode to Some Lyric Poets, Gregory Orr
(bonus--from the scraps of writing that came out of this chapter of life, which are slowly being assembled into a more coherent story:)
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#yknow i felt so alone at so many points but i really really wasn't#i had such good friends (here and in my church community) who held my hand so gently#and God used the things i understood best to show me His incredible love at just the right moments#still an ongoing journey but i am so so grateful for the secondhand heart-strength given to me and the tenderness that was extended when i#when i was really at my lowest and saddest and most oversensitive and easily provoked to impatience or anger or depressive spirals#anyway i can't remember who sent me marjorie but thank you so much for that it was such a comfort. it continues to be#and thank you eden for sharing your beautiful poetry!!!! it continues to refresh and encourage my soul#mmmm it's hard to put into words what everything (and by everything i mean: the songs here and on my playlists#and the poetry here and the books i've read during the summer and into the autumn#from cyrano de bergerac to tolstoy to rilke's poems and dorothy sayers and dostoevsky and st therese & st teresa and madeleine l'engle#not to mention the night walks and morning prayers and the wonderful times i've had with the other dorm girls!#suddenly quite overwhelmed by the abundance of love and blessing#immensely immensely grateful for everything. i can be such a little wretch sometimes and wallow awfully for days#or act like a little human machine and try to Rid Myself of all emotional surges. or just focus on all the negative things with astonishing#tunnel vision (you wouldn't BELIEVE). but God has been so gracious despite songbird being a silly goose#and every once in a while having mental breakdowns and having to learn the same lesson (surrender and humility) a bajillion times#anyway!! my heart doesn't hurt anymore!!#and i am learning to take it one day at a time and to Rejoice in all circumstances#slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21#which really is so much harder than i thought at times!!!! but that makes it even more important to do so i think
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lobotomyladylives · 4 months
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I hope temari beats shikamaru every night. hope there's a lot of domestic violence going on there
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roguestorm · 1 year
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very interested in how marvel + dc are both experimenting with the webtoon format (infinite scroll/minimal paneling + simpler art style) and how what is published in that format is not traditional superhero stories but things that might be more in line generically with what you would find in a webtoon (for example, making a whole comic dedicated to romance, which is a very popular webtoon genre but not a popular genre for the comics you’d find in an american comic book store)
it’s very different from the early days of infinite comics, where the paneling was often very important and it moved from panel to panel with powerpoint animations. and it’s always interesting to see how marvel and dc respond to other comic forms and try to capitalize on what is popular. especially right now when it seems like the traditional comic book industry is perpetually on the edge of dying.
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valebatcattus · 1 year
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mister13eyond · 1 year
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still relationship ranting forgive me (it's all positive, more or less?)
it's also why it is really funny to me that people constantly talk about like 'i want to be in a relationship but i don't want [one specific part]' and it's like
you can just... you can just NOT do that part, then.
you can NOT cohabitate, if you think living with someone would take away your comfort with your living situation. you can not have sex if you don't want to have sex. you can use or not use any label, you can use or not use any terms of affection, you can choose your level of consistent contact you can choose your level of physical affection you can choose whether you want to make any long-term decisions like pets or marriage or children. you can choose whether you want to be exclusive or monogamous, you can choose whether you have multiple people involved, you can choose whether you make plans now or talk it out later, you can have an ongoing, long-term conversation where you check in periodically to see if anything has changed or if you want to change something.
like! i know the cishets tell us 'you fall in love with ONE person and you will KNOW when you are in love and you will ONLY ever love them FOREVER unless you FALL OUT OF LOVE and then you will be DOOMED TO A TRAGIC BREAKUP OR CHEATING'
but like in my personal experience... it's more like.... 'you will meet someone and you will feel like you are really connected to them and you get along well and you are attracted to them. you can then either nurture that feeling by spending more time together and testing out whether your initial connection is sustainable or you can let it pass through you and simply let things go wherever they go. then you can tell them how you feel, talk about what you think you'd like or not like, decide whether you want to prioritize your relationship and your time together over other, more casual connections in your life, and try it out. and you can talk about this any time something feels off. and you're not going to fall out of love spontaneously and for no reason when you were happy before; most of the time you'll notice that there's more distance between you and you're not as close or communicative as you were previously pretty early along that path. and you can THEN decide whether you want to say 'hey let's do more things together to help us bond and feel close and open up to each other' or you can say 'i think we've probably changed in a way where we're no longer on the same page with our relationship, do you want to figure out what we both need and adjust accordingly?'
which is like. it sounds so sterile and clinical but it's actually GREAT? feelings aren't this great big overpowering beast that you cannot wrangle; love is not a thing that will just spontaneously stop one day despite your desperate desire to still feel it. the more time you spend with someone and the more you support each other, the closer you will feel. the less time you spend and the less you support each other's needs, the further you will drift. you can 100% grow that garden to your own specifications and you can simply choose not to include sex or cohabitation or monogamy or labels or WHATEVER else and it's great because it's YOUR garden.
there is no one hard definition for any relationship and there is no one specific way to have a relationship. it's literally just seeing what feels right and then describing it in whatever terms feel right.
#like idk sometimes i think i sound incomprehensible#but also i've been with one partner for 13 years now and we have changed IMMENSELY as people#and every time there were points where we didn't feel close or comfortable we just like#figured out what we needed or wanted and talked about how to do it best#and the entire reason i'm with my other partner to begin with#is that he and i have REMARKABLY similar feelings about relationships and we could have a long ongoing conversation about comfort levels-#and boundaries and what he wanted out of a relationship#and that lack of pressure let him actually feel comfortable enough with me to explore relationship aspects he had felt super uncomfortable#with previously#and also the entire conversation is STILL ONGOING and Will be In Perpetuity#there might come a time when he wants to change something or he no longer wants the same things out of a relationship!#there might come a time when he needs to pull back and can't give as much time or emotional closeness!#i don't think he has to Love Me Forever but as long as he WANTS to do this and feels GOOD doing it then#i'm enjoying myself!#and if there comes a point where he doesn't we can figure out what to do#maybe we'll just need to redefine things or maybe we'll need to change something like how much time we spend together#or maybe he'll need something from someone who isn't me or maybe he'll find#that he grows close to someone else and is more comfortable in a monogamous relationship with THEM#it's fine? it's not a worry because i trust him to tell me#i like him and i know he cares about me enough to communicate and to check in#god it's 5pm and i'm ranting again#slaps my hands off the keyboard#anyways love is actually great and good and fun and if you find a person who communicates and works well with you#then you'll figure it out together#it may take time but you'll figure it out!#loong post#long post#long tags#personal#relationships
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nerdie-faerie · 11 months
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Why is it that when I'm sick, finishing work late because a load of people didn't show up and ongoing work drama, stressed about my upcoming essay and still have a hour walk before I can get home, my dad is apparently kicking off and threatening to kick me out when I'm not even there??
#ace is a mess#+Extra#personal#apparently hes kicking off about the fact i 'chose to pay off my loan' which isnt true i didnt get any tuition loan this year so i have to#pay it out of pocket and unlike some students i absolutely will not be receiving any financial support to do so so im working to pay it off#and hes apparently fuming about it and is bringing up the fact i owe him money cus when i asked for a nee laptop for Christmas for uni#and repeatedly specified that i just wanted the cheapest most basic option possible and even found several under the budget for gifts#my dad decided to get a more expensive one with a bigger screen which is not what i asked for or needed!! a bigger screen makes it#ten times more cumbersome to take to class for notes and assignments and ive ended up still having to borrow uni laptops regardless all#cus hes got some ongoing issue about me having my own finances & not being financially dependent on him so he keeps making a point about it#hes so transparent that its all a fcking control thing as it has been since i chose what i wanted to do at college and he didnt approve#and i didnt change it and stuck with it regardless because my career plans have nothing to do with him honestly#btching that if i can afford to pay off my loans i can afford to pay him back which i cant! i cant afford my tuition thats why im staying#over summer to keep working so i can pay off my debt im not paying it off i never had it im in debt! and if i dont pay it i wont be able#to continue with uni whereas he technically still owes me 2k he can be fcking patient about his money which i knew this was gonna happen#when he kept insisting there might not be cheap options available despite me finding multiple 🙄#you know i get asked a lot why ive ended up at unis so far north when im from the south and its like i had to get away being half a days#drive away is the only way for my parents to physically leave me alone theyll still hound my phone but thats what airplane mode is for
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bellwitchfaggot · 2 years
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I do understand the way in which spirituality is like a deep-seated psychological human need and the way in which ppl seem to tend to go a little batshit crazy when that need is not being met like I think spirituality is kinda the like glue that goes in all the cracks of a person's perception of reality and I do think spirituality is extremely useful for not losing the plot of one's life entirely. This being said however I used to be a very spiritual person and then it was systemically abused out of me by the psychiatric industrial complex and like. I can see now I think that a lot of the beliefs I used to hold and the ways in which I would process and make sense of the world were not actually harmful to me and were also not actually harming anyone else and I think I was like a much happier and more fulfilled person when I was a much more spiritual person and I'm really interested in trying to reincorporate a lot of that into my life but at this point I straight dont know how to like do that without feeling like I'm cracking tf up inside due to the extreme dissonance surrounding spirituality that has been bred in me specifically by people who I believed were helping me for a very large part of my life
#going to find a snackie then maybe get blasted n take a nap idk im sooo sleepy tired#oh just realized its cuz i think i only slept for like 3 hrs#christ maybe i'll start going to church again at some point idfk#i really dont. even know where to begin with starting to unravel what spiritual beliefs i may or may not actually hold and also like for me#spirituality is soooo tied very very VERY deeply in with my severe fucking long term and still semi ongoing cult trauma i just. i really#dont even know where to BEGIN with figuring shit like this out but the mere thought of reintroducing spirituality into my life makes me#feel like such a deepseated fear and sense of danger and unease. ig i gota figure out where tf the line lies for me at some point tho#personal#like. i have very good reason to believe that during my childhood and teenage years i was specifically being groomed to be like acting as#the leader of some sort of fucking apocalypse death cult by my church and that really complicates things!#and then like at some point in my teenage years SOMEONE started to like try to help me get out somehow which took the form of me being like#introduced to like neo paganism and shit and those were some of the most enjoyable and like positive but simultaneously like apeshit years#of my life . and then i was like forcefully medically lobotomized for like years using strong prescription drugs that i didnt really unders#tand what i was being given and like basically fully convinced by someone or something that all spirituality is automatically psychosis#the thing about that is i think believing THAT has actually somewhat led to me accidentally just becoming even more fucking insane#idk its all very complicated and like at this point in my life and recovery i am aware that like i have literally hundreds if not thousands#of unintegrated parts and its just going to take some real fucking time of me like being allowed and safe and comfortable enough to like#fully start to unravel all those different lived experiences inside of me that someone or some group of ppl may or may not have been#specifically attempting to prevent me from ever fully unraveling for me to like. figure out what my own actual opinions are on this and a#lot of other things are#idk i didnt mean to type this many tags on this post or go this in depth but here we r i spose. much 2 think abt#did log
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muu-kun · 1 year
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muu, why did you turn out this way.
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