I know people have posted about this before but it honestly it striking how much the boys do not default to violence as a way of solving problems. They're detectives in the classic sense - they're looking for clues and unravelling mysteries, and most of the time they can handle things with subtlety instead of force. It's not off the table, but it's very much an option of last resort.
The first time we meet them they're dealing with a ghost that is actively trying to kill them, and they're not fighting, they're running. While trying to figure out what happened so that they can go back in with a better strategy. Even when the cursed ghost catches up with them, Charles hits it exactly once, to get enough breathing space that they can get back to the office and get the resources they need to break the curse. Their plan with Becky was to slip in and out while Esther was distracted - they only ended up in a fight because hauling Edwin and Becky out of the magical void took longer than expected.
And as much as Charles comments in Ep. 3 about puzzle solving being "Edwin's way" and hitting things with a cricket bat being his, that absolutely goes for him as well. In the flashbacks where he confronts his friends, he pulls them off and puts himself between them and the kid they're beating up - he doesn't continue the fight once the victim is safe. In the Devlin house he's visible shaken and upset from the first round of the cycle, but it's not until they've witnessed the murder several times and Edwin's plan to break the loop has failed and he's confronting the possibility that there may not be another option that he tries to fight Devlin directly. Most of what he does with his cricket bat is pull it out and plant himself between Edwin and whatever he's decided is a threat.
I suspect that's part of why Edwin was so rattled by the first encounter with the Night Nurse - not because it was wrong or unjustified, but because it's not normal for Charles to hit first.
And these are not normal circumstances! Charles has been pushed pretty hard at this point, and has just been assaulted in a way that Edwin probably isn't fully cognizant of, and was acting urgently to stop the Night Nurse from doing the same thing to Edwin. I think his reaction was absolutely justified, and possibly necessary. And I think Edwin's response, whether it was intended that way or not, did read as condemnation - at least to Charles who is already beating himself up for not being able to protect the people he loves and doubting whether he's a safe, trustworthy person.
But I also think it's notable that the next time he deals with the Night Nurse - after he's processed some of his feelings of anger and helplessness, after he's been reassured that he's still the best person Edwin knows - he takes a different tack. She's still imminently threatening to split them up and send Edwin to hell, which is probably Charles' worst nightmare. But this time he turns to negotiation, to appealing to her sense of justice, to looking for a loophole that could let them stay together. He's back to trying to solve problems by working through them.
And in fairness, the fact that she came back after being eaten by Angie is also a pretty strong indication that trying to fight her wouldn't have worked. But I do think it says something about Charles' attitude to the world that despite describing himself as "the brawn" and thinking of himself as the fighter between him and Edwin, his reflex is still to problem solve first, to use force defensively and only when necessary. That yes, he's angry and justly so, but unlike his father, or the boys who killed him, he doesn't choose to turn that into an excuse to hurt people. That his use of force is judicious and careful and is always, always about preventing harm.
There’s a word in Korean. 인연 [in yun]. It means “providence” or “fate”.
It’s 인연 if two strangers even walk by each other in the street and their clothes accidentally brush. Because it means there must have been something between them in their past lives. If two people get married, they say it’s because there have been eight thousand layers of 인연. Over eight thousand lifetimes.
PAST LIVES
2023 | dir. Celine Song
Dick had found a new indie game that had just come out, and it was pretty good. He had even gotten Tim sold on it, though that hadn't helped his sleep schedule.
It was one of those visual novels, but had really good fighting mechanics and great backgrounds and settings. The setting was really well done, with even one off characters feeling fully fleshed out.
It was a mix between romance, mystery, slice of life, and psychological horror, since you could take the romance routes or the mystery routes in any interactions, which would drastically change the rest of the gameplay.
There were many routes, and at the end you would encounter the one of or the entire Royal Family.
The High Queen, Avaricious Duke, Erratic Prince, Wandering Princess, Autumn Knight, and Advisor Time.
Depending on your choices, it could anything from a heartfelt confession, an epic battle, or the reveal of a horrid secret.
The reason why this is relevant is because they're now stuck in this game.
Not just Dick and Tim, but the rest of the family too.
your jaw is aching, just barely able to feel simon's fingers as they curl around a fistful of your hair, the other hand pinching either side of your face between his thumb and forefinger to watch how your lips purse around the girth of his cock. lidded, darkened eyes staring down at you as he fucks lazily into your mouth; the slick sound of spit accompanied by the slap of his balls against your chin, wet with your saliva and precum.
and if that wasn't overstimulating in of itself, thick, strong fingers indent into the flesh of your hips, followed by the aching thud of könig's sharp hips jackhammering into the soft flesh of your ass, a cacophony of lewd, debauched sounds that shouldn't make you nearly as wet as they do.
you have little choice but to focus on trying to stay balanced on your hands and knees and take it, every forceful thrust, every notch of ghost's tip against the back of your throat, every delirium inducing drag of könig's cock, so thick it has no choice but to stimulate every nerve ending your poor cunt has to offer.
there is no holding back, no small mercies, you're fucked to within an inch of your life, pushed through so many orgasms you barely remember what year it is, unable to think of anything other than the two men that bookend your trembling body.
by the time their hips both stutter to a stop, once their cum dribbles down in flithy rivulets from your aching holes, plump flesh littered with bite marks, bruises and handprints; you're just lucid enough to make out the two men as they tower above you, twin sets of irises engulfed in black, still hungry, still not satiated.
it's fair to say you may have "voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir"ed a little too close to the sun.
wait, you guys worry about BAD things? i mostly just worry about nice things happening to me and my friends. gotta say, the way you do it sounds like a real hassle
Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)
The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)
The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.) This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that.
(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)
The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them.
I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly.
And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much.
I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.)
Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.
ok among my favorite parts of qsmp is the fact that charlie slimecicle can only hold the act of being mad at mariana when mariana isn't in the room. like he successfully rp'd being mad at his deadbeat puta esposa for months while mariana wasn't logging on, like he complained about mariana at the wedding, during the election, in subsequent appearances, and then he's messaging mariana in the chat during purgatory and he's still holding it
and then they're both at spawn like as close to face to face as they get. and bro CANNOT hold the act it drops so fast lmfao he was like "yea cellbit i'm gonna kill mariana" and instead they have a genuinely heartfelt conversation and then rp sexo in the fountain
and i know i'm brainrotting purgatory rn but i'm actually thinking about this bc i saw a clip of mariana and slime talking during the awards show and literally. slime's face goes from 😡🤬 MARIANA'S HERE, SAY SOMETHING PUTA ESPOSA to 😄😁 the second mariana shows up on the screen
like he's still pretending to be mad but dude is grinning like absolute crazy and i love that
Thematic Analysis of Hades II: Why You Can Never Go Home
(At some point I might make a video on this, but for now sharing my thoughts via textpost. Spoilers ahead!)
So the text of the story of Hades and Hades 2 are Zagreus breaking out of the House, and Melinoë breaking in.
But the wild thing (and the reason Hades 2 is much more interesting to me) is that both games actually have almost inverted themes from that text. Zagreus is intent on uniting a household; Melinoë is discovering the home she's fought to return to is rotten to the core.
Zagreus, despite his entire textual goal being to leave his home and family, is narratively & thematically working to bring the family and household together. His mother comes back and is reunited not just with him but her husband, mother, and entire extended family. Achilles and Patrocles, Orpheus and Eurydice, Asterion and Theseus: Hades is a story of people metaphorically coming home and making peace with where they are (Sisyphus, Thanatos, Orpheus). Everyone basically gets a happy ending, credits roll, problems all resolved or en route to be solved. Everyone is home.
(Important to note: we never see a human in the first game. We see shades, and gods, and monsters, and the closest you get to a mortal living thing is the satyrs. This is a story concerned with the realm of the gods.)
In contrast, Melinoë has no home - besides being estranged from her childhood home, she literally lives in a tent. In case the theme was too subtle, presumably.
Now, she has been fighting her entire life to become powerful enough to return home and reclaim her family - that seems Zagreus-adjacent on its face. However, there isn't a home to return to- Hades is in shackles, the rest of her family trapped in time. At this point in Early Access, on both a metatextual & diegetic level she quite literally can neither make it to Mt Olympus or into Zagreus' room - she cannot go home, she cannot meet her family.
Consider the others: Odysseus' presence seems to tie into the idea of a long journey home, but this is an Odysseus who lived and died and now has other (inhuman) priorities. He loves them, but has no interest in reuniting with Penelope and Telemachus at this point. Nemesis dislikes her siblings, and is more concerned with the equal application of "justice" than whether it has any reforming effect. Narcissus and Echo eventually talk and part more amicably, but that's the best that can be said about their relationship.
Hecate refuses to be called Melinoë's mother: she will not distract from the "true" family that Melinoë has no memory of ever meeting.
Instead of Ares and Dionysus (enjoyers of chaos and least affected by the toxicity of the family in Hades 1) we have Hestia and Hephaestaus- a goddess who helped murder her father and a god constantly belittled by his own family. Their tense and frequently bitter interactions with the other Olympians are evocative of the central theme being explored: what if there isn't a home to go back to? What if your family is unforgivable? (What if you want to forgive them anyways? What if you need to?)
This theme is why Arachne is in the game, and Athena is not: likeable, first-helper-of-Zagreus Athena turned Arachne into a spider out of petty anger. How do you reconcile that?
Moros (lovely, kind Moros, who gushes at Odysseus like a fanboy) and his sisters the Fates did horrible things to mortals out of boredom. The same mortals whose bodies you can see stacked up like cordwood in Ephyra, who you repeatedly claim you are fighting to protect from Chronos. Moros can neither confirm nor deny that the current events could have been set in motion by the Fates. How do you reconcile that?
Polyphemus raises sheep. He genuinely loves and cares for them, is protective of them. He also eats them, and is confused when Melinoë implies a contradiction.
How can you love someone and be willing to kill them? For survival? For fleeting satisfaction? For vengeance?
Is Chronos' willingness to eat his children so morally heinous that it makes him worse than every cruelty the gods have wrought? Worse for who?
Thank you for not being on the Cesar Millan shit. God, that man is a horrid piece of shit.
oh god,one of those hardcore negative reinforcement dog trainers?
actually I just googled him and GODDDDD THIS FUCKING SHIT LMAO. alpha.....
also aren't his dogs also reactive? didn't they attack some people
I'd tell them "put me back in", darlin'
I would do it again
If I could hold you for a minute, darlin'
I'd go through it again
I would still be surprised I could find you
Darlin', in any life