#this is a shitpost but also I’m only like half joking

[vaelynez]

I have come to the conclusion that Lyon’s character is mainly comprised of three things: birds, tragedy, and bad decisions.

No, I will not elaborate. Yes, there was context behind this realization.

[jonnywaistcoat]

What’s your opinion on the contrast between “silly” and “serious” spaces? Do you think people can have very serious interpretations about a genuine piece of media and also be goofy about it? I’m asking this particularly because I’ve seen people in the Magnus podcast fandoms fight about people “misinterpreting” characters you, Alex, and the many other authors have written. Are you okay with the blorbofication or do you really wish the media you’ve written would be “taken seriously” 100% of the time?

And follow up question, what do you think about the whole “it’s up to the reader (or in some cases, listener) to make their own conclusions and interpretations and that does not make them wrong”, versus the “it was written this way because the author intended it this way, and we should respect that” argument?

This is a question I've given a lot of thought over the years, to the point where I don't know how much I can respond without it becoming a literal essay. But I'll try.

My main principle for this stuff boils roughly down to: "The only incorrect way to respond to art is to try and police the responses of others." Art is an intensely subjective, personal thing, and I think a lot of online spaces that engage with media are somewhat antithetical to what is, to me, a key part of it, which is sitting alone with your response to a story, a character, a scene or an image and allowing yourself to explore it's effect on you. To feel your feelings and think about them in relation to the text.

Now, this is not to say that jokes and goofiness about a piece of art aren't fucking great. I love to watch The Thing and drink in the vibes or arctic desolation and paranoia, or think about the picture it paints of masculinity as a sublimely lonely thing where the most terrible threat is that of an imposed, alien intimacy. And that actually makes me laugh even more the jokey shitpost "Do you think the guys in The Thing ever explored each other's bodies? Yeah but watch out". Silly and serious don't have to be in opposition, and I often find the best jokes about a piece of media come from those who have really engaged with it.

And in terms of interpreting characters? Interpreting and responding to fictional characters is one of the key functions of stories. They're not real people, there is no objective truth to who they are or what they do or why they do it. They are artificial constructs and the life they are given is given by you, the reader/listener/viewer, etc. Your interpetation of them can't be wrong, because your interpretation of them is all that there is, they have no existence outside of that.

And obviously your interpretation will be different to other people's, because your brain, your life, your associations - the building blocks from which the voices you hear on a podcast become realised people in your mind - are entirely your own. Thus you cannot say anyone else's is wrong. You can say "That's not how it came across to me" or "I have a very different reading of that character", but that's it. I suppose if someone is fundamentally missing something (like saying "x character would never use violence" when x character strangles a man to death in chapter 4) you could say "I think that's a significant misreading of the text", but that's only to be reserved for if you have the evidence to back it up and are feeling really savage.

I think this is one of the things that saddens me a bit about some aspects of fandom culture - it has a tendency to police or standardise responses or interpretations, turning them from personal experiences to be explored into public takes to be argued over. It also has the occasional moralistic strain, and if there's one thing I wish I could carve in stone on every fan space it's that Your Responses to a Piece of Art Carry No Intrinsic Moral Weight.

As for authorial intention, that's a simpler one: who gives a shit? Even the author doesn't know their own intentions half the time. There is intentionality there, of course, but often it's a chaotic and shifting mix of theme and story and character which rarely sticks in the mind in the exact form it had during writing. If you ask me what my intention was in a scene from five years ago, I'll give you an answer, but it will be my own current interpretation of a half-remembered thing, altered and warped by my own changing relationship to the work and five years of consideration and change within myself. Or I might not remember at all and just have a guess. And I'm a best case scenario because I'm still alive. Thinking about a writers possible or stated intentions is interesting and can often lead to some compelling discussion or examination, but to try and hold it up as any sort of "truth" is, to my mind, deeply misguided.

Authorial statements can provide interesting context to a work, or suggest possible readings, but they have no actual transformative effect on the text. If an author says of a book that they always imagined y character being black, despite it never being mentioned in the text, that's interesting - what happens if we read that character as black? How does it change our responses to the that character actions and position? How does it affect the wider themes and story? It doesn't, however, actually make y character black because in the text itself their race remains nonspecific. The author lost the ability to make that change the moment it was published. It's not solely theirs anymore.

So yeah, that was a fuckin essay. In conclusion, serious and silly are both good, but serious does not mean yelling at other people about "misinterpretations", it means sitting with your personal explorations of a piece of art. All interpretations are valid unless they've legitimately missed a major part of the text (and even then they're still valid interpretations of whatever incomplete or odd version of the text exists inside that person's brain). Authorial intent is interesting to think about but ultimately unknowable, untrustworthy and certainly not a source of truth. Phew.

Oh, and blorbofication is fine, though it does to my mind sometimes pair with a certain shallowness to one's exploration of the work in question.

[yournightmary]

Streamer!Ellie HCs | part II

content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU

AN:: I’m really bored but don’t have any motivation for writing:( Hope you like it babes xx

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who started posting stream VODs on her youtube and blew up even more. There were funny clips of her all over tik tok, I mean literally- all over, even people that never interacted with anything similar had them in their for you pages.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who had to deal with people saying ‘you aren’t right for her’ and that you’re dating her just for clout. You dated before she even started streaming but whatever, right?

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who as a joke made a donation goal named ‘for my and my girl’s house’ and people actually donated tons of money. She felt bad and donated most of it to charity.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who starts screaming into the phone that she’s streaming and to not say anything stupid every time someone calls her on stream, too lazy to mute her mic.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who loves to get invited to all those silly little podcasts, especially if the hosts let her bring you with her.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who opened a PR box and forgot about it. Had like 3 streams in a row that lasted multiple hours opening all of those packages, including eating expired snacks and getting glitter bombed.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who became a lot more family friendly after she almost got perma banned. Still keeps the same vibe but cut down on the swearing and getting hurt for laughs.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who used that change to get more into fundraiser streams. (thinking about Lil Simsie and St. Jude)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who started doing actual youtube videos after some of her content creator friends convinced her to do so. You’re her favorite guest on her channel.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ I think she’d keep her twitch more gaming related and make her youtube more irl/vlogs kind of thing. Something like Jake Webber and Johnnie Guilbert but it’s Ellie and you.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who started getting so much partner and sponsorships you guys decided to move to a bigger place, maybe even an actual house. Not only did she get to use her money on something actually important but also got more space for all of her things.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who would never take a sponsorship from a brand she didn’t like. Or an add for a product that was shitty. Probably even hated on some brands while streaming, she’s an honest girlie.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who takes you on every trip she’s invited to.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who after some time started worrying that she’s not giving you enough attention, focusing too much on her career. Takes a short break (maybe 1-2 weeks) every time it’s too much for her to think about.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who is constantly begged to make a house reveal. She always denies because she’s too scared someone will recognize the building and doxx/stalk you or her.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who got addicted to shitposting on tik tok. I talking, 5-10 tik toks a day. Things like this and this.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who actually married you. Wasn’t really planned, she just woke up one day and took you guys to the courthouse. (i don’t know how american marriages work, sorry)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who also didn’t tell anyone but her closest friends about it. And one day, like half a year later, she was just like ‘oh yeah we’re legally married’ and showed off her fancy ring.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who LOVES to call you ‘her wife’. Probably did it before you even got married, but shhh.

I need a girlfriend so bad it’s pathetic.

[ofmermaidstories]

some bnha thoughts, on this sunny monday morning (or lunchtime, by the time i finish typing sdlkfjdlsk):

💥 got walloped with a return of the post-362 grief, with the latest episode of the anime lmao. unfortunately this means i am currently in my feelies, so thank u for bearing with me as i cycle through them in the form of shitposting. 🥹

💥 speaking of the anime, i’m sad they didn’t adapt one of my favourite panels from 360, where bakugou (or shiggy? it’s never really stated, but tbh i’ve always kinda assumed it’s shiggy imagining it LOL, maybe they both are? a joint moment of horror/delight where everyone knows exactly what’s about to happen 🥹) are imagining bakugou being torn apart by shiggy’s gross giant maggot fingers sdlkjlsdjflksdjf. i mean, i get why bones didn’t adapt it (bc they’re cheapskates and and also bc it is a show for children LMFAOOOO) but it’s a really cool example of how hard hori’s art can go, and also what im chalking up as his secret wish to write a horror story lmaoooo.

🪱🧵 i am biting my nails the closer we get to the end of the manga. chapter 428 was fun—bakugou and todoroki hiding behind iida as iida gently berates their newfound fangirls was so cute, lmao. also the revelation that edgeshot is slowly… regenerating? is….. interesting. i’m disappointed that hori didn’t kill him for a couple of reasons: the first one is my most selfish, and it’s bc i planned on edgeshot being dead for my halloween fic lmfao, now i gotta rework that whole angle. 💀😪 but the second reason is more pressing and that’s bc hori is a COWARD who NEVER kills off ANYONE that has INTERESTING CONSEQUENCES. and also bc he only likes killing off girls 💀 (we’ll circle back to this point). idk, i mean, for as much as i act like the grim reaper and whinge about mha not being depressing enough (lmao), the story that hori’s been writing has always been like, pretty easy to understand. hope connection blah blah blah (i say that lovingly).

HOWEVER,

💚🍵🩸 there are a few deaths i’ve always kinda expected, in the series, with the top of that list being shiggy and dabi. i was like, hopeful toga wouldn’t die, mostly bc i wanted hori to prove me wrong with his GIRL MURDERER AGENDA, but. 💀 cue the clown music, ig. and hey, maybe toga isn’t dead—maybe she’s just in a coma or in prison and ochako’s being emo bc she wants the world to see toga as a teenage girl and not a blood-sucking murdering psycho, and i HOPE that’s the case!!! i do!!!! like, are you seriously going to tell me dabi is somehow still alive (for now, anyways. do NOT come for me, that man got deep fried in the deepest oil vats of McHell!!!!) but toga gets the chop? 😒 like i actually fully expect tenko to come stumbling back (literally!!!) so you cannot tell me you save the dustpile AND the deepfriend mctodo just to axe the blood sucker!!!!! let them all live if ur gonna be a coward about it, hori!!!!! this is what i mean about interesting consequences. 😔 the only consequence we’re getting so far is deku and ochako both kinda 🫤🥺😦ing their way into a confession LOL. i’m being mean—i think the next chapter will be them both confronting their guilt over like, not being able to “save” their villains, and that if we do get a confession of feelies it’ll be something like ochako saying, “i like you deku, and/but i want to be a great hero too, to save people like toga in the future”. 🥹 maybe??? guess we’ll see. 🥺

🌇💀 my pet theory for the vaguely-tenko shaped rando that’s stumbling through the rumble is that it is indeed tenko, and that deku will somehow find him to help him and that’s how deku will get his powers back. and if he doesn’t and hori ends the series with deku being quirkless i will actually, and i mean this very sincerely, stop writing fanfic LMFAOOOO. ok im maybe like, half joking. 😒 but i have never been a fan of the quirkless deku ending and now im getting scared that’s what we’re gonna get!!!!! 😦 in one of his latest interviews, hori mentions something about wanting to strip away labels from people (characters) to see the human underneath them? soooo i guess we’ll just have to trust in him and these next two (TWO) chapters. 🥹

for all my whinging i do like bnha lmao. i whinge because i like it, and tbh i probably wouldn’t change a thing of it. 🥺 all the frustrating gaps—like those perceived consequences i keep getting worked up over the lack of—are what makes it fun to write and read fic for. 🥹 and it’s been fun watching the characters change!!! i was in a bookstore, yesterday, picking up a copy of volume 38 and the girl at the counter and i started talking about the series—the pros and cons of binging it vs keeping up weekly, the change in bakugou’s character and how reading over fics with him and his older characterisation can be kinda hard, now. how scary it was that it’s coming to an end!!! she and i have talked before—when i was buying volume 36 lmao—about whether bakugou could be canonically read as queer vs asexual, and like, idk any other series that has such a mainstream reach that you could have these outside conversations with other people in your day to day, outside of a twitter or tumblr sphere! that’s the power of my hero. and im glad to be here for the ride. and no matter how it ends, it’ll be fun, and worth it. 🥹

[torchickentacos]

Sad that we don’t see as much Zuki activity on tumblr as we used to but that’s how the whole atla fandom has been lately. I’m glad you ship them tho!

Do you have any spicy Zuki headcanons you’d like to share? 👀 If not that’s fine! Just curious.

Hi anon! God, I haven't been in the ATLA fandom for a long while now, goes to show how dead the zuki fandom is if you're coming to me for it 😭😭😭Rarepair so rare you have to go to an entirely different fandom's blog for your ship. Sad. BUT I APPRECIATE YOU COMING TO ME SO MUCH!!! I am a pokeani blog in spirit but a whateverthefuck/multipurpose blog in practice. I will say though, spicy headcanons are kinda far out of my wheelhouse, and also that fandom's age-up discourse (and everything else discourse) terrifies me so I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole tbh, BUT I can always give other stuff! Ramble under cut.

So, I think I'll just ramble instead of spicy headcanons- one INCREDIBLY FUNNY aspect of Zuki to me is that, in the comics, Suki's kind of giving 'I can fix him', ngl. BUT SHE ACTUALLY CAN, THAT'S THE THING. It's so interesting to me because canon Zuki in the comics is very much founded on that bodyguard/royalty dynamic trust- they have to trust each other with their life if they're going to do the whole bodyguard thing well. And from that trust comes Suki's trust in Zuko as a PERSON. Even when LTIERALLY THE ENTIRE GAANG is like 'ehhh idk he kinda sucks again', Suki's the one who's like 'can you guys chill for .5 seconds and trust him? look at him. he's sad. he needs therapy, not to be killed'.

I think Zuki just WORKS because of that trust. And FROM THAT TRUST, she actually is one of the key reasons they're able to help bring him back from the path he goes down in the comics (which i have not read in forever so pardon innacuracies). So, SHE ACTUALLY CAN FIX HIM. /half joking because obviously it was a ton of his own internal work and growth, but like, from a shitposter's perspective, #icanfixhim.

And that trust goes the other way around the entire way. Not only in Zuko trusting the kyoshi warriors to keep him alive, but Zuko also actually TALKS to Suki and opens up to her in the comics. ZUKO. OPENS UP. TO SOMEONE. AND TALKS TO THEM. AND COMMUNICATES. TO THEM. obviously he trusts her as a bodyguard and a friend IMMENSELY, which provides that super good foundation for something more. He feels safe around her, physically and emotionally, which I think is an incredibly rare honor. (lol, honor. zuko. ykwim. )

I just like bodyguard royalty ships tbh, I'm also a zelink hoe (my main three ships have always been zuki/zelink/contestshipping. not sure what that says about me tbh, other than 'likes m/f but undeniably bisexual ships'), but like, despite being a rarepair, the comics gave us a GOOD DAMN BASIS FOR IT!!!! IT'S ABOUT THE TRUST! THE VULNERABILITY!!!! ramble over, ty for listening to my ted talk.

[solongandgoodnightxoxo]

Random ooc post

Hello everyone, as we know I’d hate Gideon if I ever saw him irl and I’d 100% eat him for being rich.

I just really like his character…

Is he the best villain ever? No

Is the media he’s from flawed? Very much so

However, I really like the idea of him. The premise around scott pilgrim is really fun and I like it a lot, and I think the exes are a really good part of it!

Sure in the comics and movie they weren’t the biggest most fleshed out thing ever, but they’re still very fun to play with and I like their characters, even if we don’t see much of it

I don’t love Gideon, in fact I think he’s a “nice guy”

However he is still one of my favorites. He’s very fun to play, and I think he was really fun in the movie (even if I didn’t like the movie besides the jokes)

I’d beat him to death on sight for the kung pao chicken line. Won’t even make a justification there.

I know others don’t like it much, but I like how different he is in each media while still having the same Baseline.

Comics? I really like that version! It shows Gideon in his most deranged, and I think he has some pretty good lines + I like characters with a mysterious element

Movie? Like I said, far from my favorite, but Jasons performance was really good and he clearly had fun! I really only like the movie because you can tell everyone had a really fun time making it and obviously really loved their roles. I’m never excusing the lesphobia and racism though thats ew!!!

Spto? Its flawed, and the rose tinted goggles have fallen, but I still really like how Gideon was shown. I will admit, there were plot holes (like gideon having an act around julie, who was on his side) but I think its a great way to cast him aside and stop his yapping so others could finally have their time to shine. I think it was refreshing, and opened up a whole new view of how he acts (even if it was flawed). Also goosepowers. Im the number one goosepowers defender. LOOK AT ME. THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME TOGETHER IN THE COMICS.

I do acknowledge that Bryan himself never seems to know Gideons character..but that makes it so much fun to run with! As long as you’ve got the basics, You could accurately portray Gideon (which btw im gonna rewatch spto and the later half of the movie so I can get back on track with him, as well as Matthew)

This is probably a total yapfest with no true rhyme or reason, but I just want this to be known.

I am 100% against this man. I will be the first to drag him actually, and if he was around irl I’d be trashing on him so unbelievably hard. However, he is a really fun role to play and I’m so glad the other Gideon blogs got me to really focus on him.

He’s one of my favs, but thats really only because of you guys. I love Matthew more than him but oh my god Gideon is SO fun to play. I feel like such a theater kid rn, but its true. A lot of the blogs are shitposts, and I’ve done some of that too, but I have put my heart and soul into this blog. I really like being up on stage for people to see! Every rp I do I think of everyone reading along, and I really hope I’ve done my job of entertaining and keeping it fun!

I can say the same for Matthew too, but I love him in a different way. Gideon is fun to play and I like characterizing him, but Matthew is just a TBH creature to me. I dont think i can explain it.

Anyways yapfest over bye bye!!

[cyberphuck]

ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PRELUDE

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about the Farseer Trilogy, but doesn't want to actually have to read the books, so I'm summarizing them for them (and you)!

 Read previous entries

 LAST TIME, ON DRAGON BOOK Z: Fitz is a bastard who knows telepathy and talks to animals. He's taught to be an assassin, then goes up to the mountains on a mission and completely fails at it. His uncle tries to kill him. His OTHER uncle gets married.

 CAST OF CHARACTERS (holy shit there are so many characters in this book)

 THE FARSEERS

Six Duchies royal family, of which several members are now dead. This will include Farseers-by-Marriage (Dead or head-exploded characters will have their own category).

 FitzChivalry Farseer: The POV character, Prince Chivalry's bastard. Loyal as a K-Pop stan who still has a BTS McNugget meal preserved in their freezer. He possesses both the Skill (Professor X telepathy) and the Wit (Dr. Doolittle animal chats).

 Prince Verity: Currently King-in-Waiting, a lifelong second-in-command who was suddenly thrust into a leadership role when his older brother fucked off to be assassinated. Recently married, super strong in the Skill, does not ask for consent before mind-molesting Fitz.

 Queen Kettricken: Recently married to Verity, she came all the way from the Mountain Kingdom to clean up Buckkeep and be miserable because she's used to doing Crossfit in the snow and now she has to sit and pretend to laugh at other people's jokes.

 Prince Regal: The sneaky, moustache-twirling evil younger half brother of Verity. He killed like four people at Verity's wedding and tried to murder Fitz with a hot tub, and they just sort of let him get away with it.

 King Shrewd: The current king, currently pretty old and afflicted with some kind of wasting disease. Fitz is technically bound to him by a pact he made as a child, but they both kind of ignore that most of the time.

 Chade: King Shrewd’s older half-brother on the wrong side of the sheets. An assassin. Lives in the walls. Has a weasel. Came out of the wall into Fitz's room and taught him how to be an assassin. Sort of a father figure, but the kind that yells at you to hold the flashlight steady while he works on the car.

 Patience: Chivalry’s widow. Helicopter-parents Fitz whenever he comes within fifteen feet of her. The ADHD champion of the Six ooh is that a book on rare ferns?

 NOBLES

 Duke Brawndy: Duke of Ripplekeep, a pretty stand-up dude. Father to Celerity and member of the Fitz Fan Club.

 Lady Celerity: Has a big ol' fourteen-year-old crush on handsome, virile Fitz. She's pretty okay for someone who was named after a vegetable you put peanut butter on.

 Duke Kelvar: Remember him? He finally manned his fucking watchtowers at Neatbay. Fitz fanclub member. Husband to Lady Grace, his young hotness wife whose dog Fitz pulled a fish bone out of.

 CASTLE AND STABLE FOLK

 Burrich: Fitz's primary father figure, the kind that takes you to football games and Hooters to try to flush the Gay out of you. Stablemaster of Buckkeep, and also has the Wit. Used to be heterosexual life partners with Prince Chivalry. Took several blows to the head last book and seems to be okay.

 Hands: Fitz's stablehand friend. He's been relegated to background character.

 Lacy: Patience’s serving woman and bestie. Makes lace, nods indulgently and will stab you.

 The Fool: Albino freak-teenager with a special interest in cryptids and making up rhymes about farting. King Shrewd's jester.

 Justin: Part of the Skill Coterie. Hangs out with Serene most of the time, card-carrying member of the Fitz Sucks and Smells Bad club.

 Serene: The only female member of the Skill Coterie. Treasurer of the Fitz Sucks and Smells Bad club.

 Carrod: Local fop and member of the Skill Coterie. In this book he mostly sneers at Fitz and says cringe things while everyone else is trying to work.

 Burl: Part of the Skill Coterie... is Burl even in this book? I can't remember. Less dumb than you think he is.

 Will: Part of the Skill Coterie. Hangs out in shadows and stares fixedly at people.

 Molly Chandler: A candlemaker and servant who wants to go back to being a candlemaker. Girlboss. Fitz would buy her bathwater.

 Rosemary: Kettricken's page. She's just a little girl. So cute. What's she doing? Oh, she's coloring. Aww.

 Wallace: King Shrewd's servant and sometimes healer. One time the Fool calls him Wall's-ass.

 Bolt: A guardsman who shows up at the end of the book to punch Fitz repeatedly in the face. I only mention him here because he shows up in the next book as well.

 Blade: An older guardsman, Fitz fanclub member.

 ANIMALS:

 Cub/Nighteyes: A wolf soul-bonded to Fitz. Talks in italics. Possesses the single braincell out of everyone in the entire series.

 Sooty: Fitz’s horse. Best mare, perfect cinnamon roll and can do no wrong.

 Vixen: Burrich’s dog. Good dog.

 Slink: A weasel belonging to Chade.

 OTHER NOTABLES:

 The Red Ship Raiders: Mongolian Vikings who have been Viking their merry way up and down the coast, burninating villages and kidnapping people to be Forged.

 Forged people: Zombies. It's a tiny bit more complicated than that, but you don't find that out for another like, six books, so: they're zombies.

 Lady Thyme: A horrible old woman who is really Chade in disguise. The Elderlings: Who are they? What are they? No one knows. 

 DEAD PEOPLE:

 Chivalry: Dead from probably assassination.

 Queen Desire: Regal's mom, dead from drug use but Regal THINKS it was assassination.

 Rurisk: Dead from poisoning by Regal.

 Cobb: Dead from stab by Fitz.

 Galen: Dead from Skill-explosion by Verity.

 August: Okay he's not DEAD, but Verity Skill-megaphoned him and he went to live on a farm upstate.

 Smithy: Went back to his home planet after Cobb hugged him and told him he was a good boy.

 Nosy: Went back to his home planet after saving Fitz from dying in a hot tub.

 MAGICS (I know magic is not a character, but they do have to be explained somewhere)

 The Wit: The ability to “bond” with certain animals and speak with them, as well as sense life force and to do a kind of mental shove at people. You tend to act a little like the animal you’ve bonded to. Witted people are considered gross and animalistic and are run out of town or put to death.

 The Skill: Telepathy. Considered the “birthright” of the Farseers. Most people can sense it at least a little, but it takes inborn talent and a lot of careful training to do anything useful with it. Skilling apparently feels awesome but if you give in to the temptation to fully open yourself to it you can get sucked out of your own brain.

 NEXT TIME: Part one of Royal Assassin Abridged!

[dearestsilhouette]

Intro Post

Hello, my name is Mist, but you can call me River, Riveret, Soup, or really any other name under the sun that isn’t inappropriate.

I made this blog to chat with others and express myself to those who I know will validate me.

Here’s my pronoun page, please read it as it’s important.

I have quite a few interests, but my main ones are:

Object shows

The Pink Corruption

Regretevator

Bugbo

Wandersong

Minesweeper

JSaB

CRK / Cookie Run Kingdom

Note: just because they’re my interests doesn’t mean I’m always going to post about them.

Another note: I do not associate myself with being in the jsab fandom and never will. I just like the game.

I would appreciate it if you don’t interact with me if you:

Fall under basic DNI lists.

Are a NSFW, NSFT or minor DNI blog.

Support people, ships, or other miscellaneous things that are problematic.

Are a proshipper / comshipper (technically falls under above rule but I want to make sure y’all understand this one).

Strongly enforce / project your religion onto others.

Go to blogs to be an asshat.

[ NOTE: I am fine with adult blogs interacting, just don’t be weird or creepy. I am a minor, I would NOT like to deal with that. ]

I also have a few tags I use (which may be added onto).

Mist’s Shenanigans - Out of context posts, shitposts or just me being chaotic.

Mist’s Art - My art based posts. [NOTE: Some posts may contain vent art: these are tagged vent art and have a “continue under cut” as well.]

Mist’s Ask Responses - Ask responses.

Mist’s Submissions - My submissions.

Mist’s Thoughts - My thoughts, negative and positive. [Please look at the tone tags on these posts; I’d appreciate it.]

Right before we get to the last of all of this, here’s some notes about me.

I am a minor. Please don’t be weird with me and keep that in mind when interacting.

I dislike the topic of religion due to past and current events in my life. It’d be immensely preferred if the topic is brought away from me.

I may have hyperactive-impulsive adhd (I am not diagnosed) meaning that I can be very disorganized, chaotic, forgetful and hyperactive at times I shouldn’t. Please bear with me, I’m trying my best here.

I curse; if you don’t like this, please tell me and I’ll try to tone it down.

I find it difficult to tell what tones people are in sometimes, so it’d be appreciated if you use some form of tone indicator like tone tags.

I love it when people interact with me. I love seeing notifications! Feel free to mass like and/or reblog my posts, as I don’t mind in the slightest.

I am the embodiment of the word ambivert. (Half joking here; I’m just extremely ambiverted.)

I myself may mass like and reblog people’s posts, please tell me if you don’t like this.

Lastly, here’s some boundaries of mine. Please respect them.

If you know my real name, please do NOT use variations of it. I genuinely hate variations of my name being used on me and it makes me uncomfortable.

I dislike the topic of religion, as seen above. Please don’t bring it into casual conversation, as I’ve already been exposed to enough toxic religion related stuff.

Don’t reblog my vents unless there’s a tag explicitly saying you can. Please just comment or ignore them.

Please don’t censor tws. I have a few things filtered out and I don’t want to see them.

Here’s some userboxes; thanks for reading!

(By the way, the only userbox that is mine is the minesweeper one; the others are not mine.)

[ The separators were made by @cafekitsune, please go give them some love and check them out! /nf ]

[abigail-nicole]

tgcf liveread part 6

moving my liveread of the perfect novel, Heaven Official's Blessing, Tian Guan Ci Fu, by MXTX, from the dying twitter (fuck u elon) to the shitposting haven of tumblr, which hasn't failed us yet. probably just a mtter of time tho. xie lian would understand. anyway, continuing with Book 3, just after the Best Dinner Party in All Of Literature!

originally live tweeted on 3/30/2020:

Xie Lian, baby taizi dianxia, who can now be threatened because he loves someone

HOMOPHOBIC GHOSTS AND THEIR HETERONORMATIVITY

YEAH GET MARRIED!!!! How many times will Hua Cheng have to propose before Xie Lian gets it lol

Yes because when someone normally asks “want to get married” while holding one another in a too-small chair, its a hypothetical

Xie Lian catching feelings

so virtuous so beautiful......makes me plow other people’s fields all day....

Xie Lian, staring at Hua Cheng’s throat as he swallows, deeply upset by the implication that Hua Cheng likes a girl, unable to keep working: Gay Panic

Xie DON’T LOOK AT MY HALF NAKED BOYFRIEND Lian

Hua Cheng, gremlin, delights in teasing him,

OHHHH SHIP SINKING BLACK WATER

now we have a nautical yarn,

Do i spy a Crimson Rain Sought Flower v Ship Sinking Black Water confrontation that will leave our magical girl protagonist scared and aroused

God this scene is so GOOD????????? I’m dying??????? This is the best adventure?????

I cannot WAIT to see this animated oh my god

MAGICAL GIRL XIE LIAN STRIKES AGAIN oh i love him crying emoji

Demon King Hua Cheng oh my god & his magical girl boyfriend

kiiiiiiith

why isn’t I Must Cross The Sea With My Beloved And We Have To Both Lie In A Tiny Coffin, Our Bodies Pressed Together, To Escape The Ship Sinking Black Water more of a trope

What If Our Coffin Boat Breaks, the trope

More like Crimson Rain Sought Flower Crown Martial Prince why did it take me so long to make this joke oh my god

hahaha sexy times in a coffin while floating in the lair of the black water demon ....just hualian things

oh my god these idiots WHY DIDNT YOU BUILD A BIGGER ONE IM SCREAMING

Hua Cheng telling Pei Ming to go kill himself........... legend

this is also gonna blow my mind when it’s animated. Spiritual detective boyfriends! we love to see it!

why haven’t I commented on qingxuan/ming yi romance before this????? Am I an idiot????

an earth god and his genderqueer partner? we also love to see it

oh wait I’m idiot

This plotting is incredible???? (except for the Go Have Sexual Tension In A Coffin which was plot unnecessary but everyone is happy about it anyway)....everything else is so well done?????

AHHSJDJDJSHAHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD I NEVER SAW THIS COMING I AM IDIOT

i wont post the spoiler bc its all mxtx wanted was to not share that spoiler.... but i reiterates this author note is pure evil

MING YI IS STILL HERE TO PROTECT SQX I STILL SHIP IT. HARDER

A FASTER, BIGGER SHIP. CHAPTER 124 ON MING YI/SHI QINGXUAN

listen I actually love the Ghost Kings being friends. I imagine them hanging out & playing cards together in Ghost City

Ming Yi CARES ABOUT SHI QINGXUAN

listen qingxuan & xie lian are gonna sit around & have dinner with their ghost king boyfriendOH MY GOD THIS ALREADY HAPPENED!!!!!!!! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHEN I SAID THAT DINNER WAS A BLESSING!!!!!!

a) I ficking love He Xuan’s backstory

B) excuse me why do I now know more about He Xuan than HUA CHENG, OUR LOVE INTEREST, THE PERPETUALLY MYSTERIOUS CRIMSON RAIN SOUGHT FLOWER, I

The way Ghosts Kings (ghosts?) value Knowing Even When (Especially When) It’s Bad ..... excuse me while I pull up this “TERM PAPER Villains and Dumb Babies: the Fool, The Hero, And Moral Complexity In The Hero’s Journey.doc”

Ghost Kings Say IGNORANCE IS NO EXCUSE!

Did I think there could be an mxtx novel without Brotherly Self Sacrifice? The only thing I know about mxtx is that they’re not an only child lol

so, from another perspective, it makes zero sense that xie lian would even be there to see any of this in the first place, even though limited third person POV dictates that we must see everything through his eyes, but on the other hand,,,,KITH

They now make out all the time but never get any emotional mileage out of it!!!!!

aghahaha i take it back I like general pei “what the heck” god bless this translator i love them

Oh no I was looking up Crimson Rain Sought Flower characters (血雨探花) and spoiled something for myself oh no. Its not like i know even a single character in chinese why did I think “oh I should look at these characters”

wait I wanna stop & talk about Xie Lian doing a crushing kiss and then shouting his ultimate magical girl power move “SOUL SUMMONING SPELL!” as a real MOON PRINCESS HALATION moment

It’s a STARLIGHT HONEYMOON THERAPY KISS! I know way too many of sailor moon’s attacks i should probably feel more ashamed but im just thinking.....meatball head Sailor Flower Crown Martial Prince....neo-dianxia xie lian....his transformation sequence....

I was wrong hes not a himbo he’s purebred Magical Girl. they share characteristics

There’s even a Millenium Silver Crystal.....clearly Hua Cheng’s ring....why did I spoil that for myself like idiot....i am fool.

Okay sorry I’m off my tangent & back to Mistress 9, I mean He Xuan,

He Xuan LOVES Shi Qingxuan and..... I’m just going with that

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW, SIR,

lol i almost feel bad for qi rong but also....Bro You Can Just Leave.... except we need you for comic effect to interrupt the makeouts

okay this seems like the end of the black water arc and a good chance to break this archive of a livetweet. returning shortly

[glacecakes]

Enchantment Passing Through (1/?)

Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead... where ancient kings laid their greatest treasure, the Book of the Dead, able to raise an army to your bidding. Hugo thinks it's all a load of bullshit, that is, until he accidentally raises a very angry mummy hellbent on world domination. Now he has to help the mummy track down the people who stole his cursed canopic jars, and hopefully minimize the property damage along the way.

It doesn't help that his mummy thinks they're star-crossed lovers or something.

Oh boy. Ohohoho boy. Here we go. I've been cooking this idea in my little pea noggin for a while now. It's mostly just vibes and stupid shitposts, but yknow, that's what all fanfic is. A warning up front. This fic is very morally grey in that uh. Varian is. Evil. He kills people. He's the mummy. You ever see The Mummy (1999)? It's very good. The Mummy (2017) is not. Would you believe me if I said I got this idea from the 2017 version? Me and my ex were watching it and joking how much better the movie would be if the mummy and archeologist ditched Tom Cruise to go take over the world and well. Here we are.

Also the tone of this is going to be a hot mess and I'm so excited for it. It's half action adventure Hugo and Varian hunting people down, half Hugo teaching Varian about modern society. If watching Hugo try to keep Varian from murdering random ppl floats your boat, you're in the right place.

Updates will be very sporadic since I'm moving to a new city for a job, but I do have an ending in mind so even if I give up on this fic I will write the ending. Cool? Cool.

The sun is scorching overhead, nearly blinding with intensity. It seeps into every crack and corner, burning skin and sand alike. As Hugo treks across the sand to the top of the hill, he is one of the only living things for miles. The plane that brought him here has long since left, dropping him off a good mile from the camp for some stupid reason. He hikes up his socks like a good boy scout would, puffing out air from his lips so that his bangs flutter up. The heat sucks. It really sucks. He's not made for it. Don owes him big time for going on this expedition, but if it's as incredible as everyone's made it out to be, it'll be worth it. It has to be.

As the sand gives way to the sky, two men come into view. His contacts, he presumes, and sure enough, he knows that back of the head. He dropped a piano on it once. "Rider!" He calls, kicking up sand to meet the older man with a lazy wave. The man in question turns around, face falling when he recognizes who said his name.

"Hugo." his voice is dripping with venom, but Hugo doesn't really mind. The guy's a prick anyway, at least he can spend the trip getting on his nerves. His friend's not so bad though.

"Buddy!" Lance cheers, pulling Hugo into a side hug that's almost burning due to the heat.

"Good to see you too," Hugo ignores the death glare from Eugene. Someone is clearly a little cranky about the dry heat. He bets the man is hiding under six layers of sunscreen. "So, this is the place?" He looks around. “It doesn’t seem very-” his words die in his throat as he looks down at the other side of the hill. Suddenly his lips are as dry as the desert he’s in.

"Oh yeah," Lance gestures to the complex with wide arms. "Welcome to Hamunaptra."

The complex is enormous, even by normal ruin standards. Sandstone stretches beyond the eye can see, crumbling statues and monoliths dotting the landscape and turning it into a sandy forest. It shimmers like a mirage under the desert sun. How no one was able to find this place before is beyond Hugo; but then again, it is in the smack dab middle of nowhere. Across the plaza, the Baron's men are hard at work documenting various inscriptions and excavating large sand pits. Despite the fact that there should be no civilization for miles on end, and technically, there is none, the complex has come to life in a way not seen since it was in use by the Pharaohs of old. Eugene and Lance lead him through the men with jovial expressions, chatty as always. They sandwich him in between their massive bulk, shielding him from the stares of those around them. The pickaxes, the hungry teeth, the too sharp eyes. But Hugo doesn’t need protecting, he holds his head up high. He’s above this. He’s above them all.

"It was crazy! There we were, running for our lives from the cops," Lance pushes his hand out to tell the tale. "When suddenly the sand starts moving, forming a wall between us and our enemies. The city protected us! It wanted to be found! By us!" He sounds so excited that Hugo almost believes it, if it wasn't absolute malarkey.

"So, a sandstorm revealed it," he corrects, and Lance full on pouts. Like a puppy.

Eugene nonchalantly puts his hands in his pockets. "Nah, you had to be there. The way the sand was moving was..." his eyes are distant. "Unreal."

“If you say so, Rider.” Eugene’s face twitches just a smidge. After their last adventure Hugo knows his real name now, but he’s been kind enough to stick to last names, and Eugene thanks every god under the sun that he wasn’t stupid enough to tell Hugo his real last name. If Hugo ever found out his last name he might actually have to kill the little twerp.

“What, you don’t believe in all the magic around this place?” Lance asks. “You’re like, the expert in mummy curses.”

Hugo stops dead in his tracks. The idea is so ridiculous, so offensive, he wants to scream. “Uh, no. I’m an Egyptologist.”

“Right. Mummy scientist.”

“No, Egyptologist. I study all of Ancient Egypt, not just the mummies.” He scoffs. He did not graduate college at 18 just to be called a mummy scientist. “And besides, once you open your eighth ‘cursed sarcophagus’, you start to discredit the myths.”

They enter the Baron's tent, where the center of activity seems to be. Men of all shapes and sizes scurry about with research and plans and blueprints, but the Baron is in a weight class of his own, a literal mountain. He's seen the man before, but still, Hugo trembles at the sheer mass of him. Everything about the Baron screams danger, and not in the fun, exciting way that working with Donella has let him experience. Swindling suckers, dashing through cobbled European streets, rummaging through decades of research, that's his specialty. Eugene, Lance and the Baron's group are... the muscle that Donella contracts. This time, it's the other way around.

The Baron makes an unimpressed face. "This is him?"

"Yup," Eugene looks none too happy about it. "This is him."

He bristles at the tone, almost childish and mocking. "Hugo," he holds out a hand for the beast to shake. "I'm Donella's chief Egyptologist."

"You're 12."

"19." He grits. "And I know more about Egypt in my pinky than you do in your bigass skull." For a second, he's afraid he's about to get slammed into the sand like a Looney Tunes character, but the Baron simply sneers.

"You were right, Rider. He is annoying."

He turns scarlet .

“Wh-“ Hugo’s mouth drops open. “I’ll have you know that I am the only person in a 50 mile radius who can read hieroglyphs, Coptic and Demotic!” He rattles the words off his fingers as if any of these brutes have the capacity to understand. “I have studied thousands of artifacts and relics-“

“‘S fine, kid.” Eugene elbows him. “We’re just teasing.”

Hugo scoffs. Like it or not, he needs this. This is his first solo mission in… life, and he’s not going to return to Donella empty handed. He can’t. “So, what exactly am I here to read?”

The Baron leans in real close. His breath reeks of cigarette smoke. “All that big talk and you don’t even know where we are?”

“Well, I know what Hamunaptra is ,” Who doesn’t? It’s the fabled city of the dead. The ancient and most powerful of Egypt’s pharaohs were said to bury their treasure here. Well, treasure and most dangerous and cursed objects. Anything that the outside world was never meant to see ended up here. Most people thought it was a myth, honestly, himself included, until Donella got a letter from the Baron asking for her help with exploring the place. She’d been almost loath to send him, but he’d insisted he was ready for the big leagues.

“Legends say there’s serious treasure down there. Like the jackpot if all jackpots.” Lance’s eyes are practically glowing. “You’d be the richest man alive with just a fraction of what they’ve got stashed in there.”

“See, I don’t get it,” Eugene butts in. “Why bury your treasure with you when you die? I mean sure keep it right up till death, but once you’re dead, what good does it serve you? It’s just sitting there, begging for a thief to come take it.”

“The Egyptians believed that possessions could follow them into the afterlife. The idea was they’d go with them to the underworld.” Hugo’s face turns a shade evil as he makes wiggly fingers. “They’d even bury loved ones with them… still alive .”

Lance makes a noise like a dying squirrel, and Hugo laughs. He’s too gullible. “Hamunaptra was the key to their beliefs. A sacred place that should not be disturbed. So naturally, we’re disturbing it.”

“They’re dead,” the Baron  shrugs. “Not like they’re going to stop us.”

Finally, someone who doesn’t believe in all that magic hooky bullshit. “Unless there’s traps.”

“Exactly.” The Baron’s grin is wicked, teeth brighter than the sun somehow. “Your job, little man, is to guide my men through the city of the dead to the ultimate prize. The Book of the Dead.”

He swallows the lump in his throat. The Book of the Dead. Solid gold, the original from which all other books of the dead were copied. Allegedly able to reanimate the dead to your bidding. The thing Donella wants no matter the cost. The thing he has to steal from the Baron.

Joy.

Hugo is nothing if not good at his job though. He puts on a winning smile and takes the Baron’s outstretched hand to shake. “Donella wants a cut of the riches.” He doesn’t say which cut she wants in particular. Conmen and businessmen are similar like that, one is just considered illegal.

“We’ll work out the details once you find the Book.” The Baron’s grip is crushing. He pulls the younger in close. “Turn on me, and not even that book can bring you back from where I’ll send you,” his breath causes Hugo to cringe, teeth too clean for a predator like him.

Hugo’s mouth tastes like ash. “Sounds good to me.” It’s fine, Donella wouldn’t send him if it wasn’t. He’s got this. These guys are chumps, all brawn with no brains. He just has to play to his advantages.

They make quick work of preparation, a half dozen of muscle men to break through walls and tunnels, another with a gun (lord these men are superstitious, watched too many movies).

“I’m Anthony,” says the one with the gun, a weaselly grin showing off broken teeth. He’s got a permanent squint in one eye, likely from overuse of the gun as a third arm. “Mighty nice to be working with ya.” and then the gun is pointing at him. “Best make sure I don’t have to use this.”

“Ignore him,” A female voice cuts through the testosterone-ridden atmosphere like smooth butter. The goons part like the red sea to reveal a slender figure with reddish-brown hair. With eyes like glittering jewels, she holds out a perfectly manicured hand. “Stalyan.”

“Hugo.” He takes the hand. It’s way too soft and smooth to be out here. “Are you, uh…”

“Baron’s my dad.” Ah. That’ll do it. He’s not one for nepotism, and she can see it on his face when she adds, “Gemologist. Appraiser.” And suddenly her position makes sense. There’s no friendly or warm facade, just a cool burn of an overconfident woman. Her teeth shine like pearls, razor sharp and ready to chomp when her eyes land on Eugene. Despite the heat of the desert, the atmosphere turns ice cold. “Rider.”

“Stalyan.”

“Lance!” The burly man steps in and Hugo thanks every god in the Egyptian pantheon when he whisks him away from the inevitable cat fight. “Ignore them. Exes. Nasty breakup.”

“What a shocker.”

He leads him over to two more men. One has shaggy brown hair and permanent bags under his eyes and a short nose. He barely gives Hugo a second glance. The other has dark hair tied up in a bun, and a manicured beard.

“Dwayne, Andrew, this is Hugo, the archeologist.”

“Egyptologist, for the hundredth time.”

Andrew laughs, a dark sounding thing. Even if he doesn’t believe in auras or chakras or other hokey bullshit, something about this man just screams dark, sinister even. His eyes are expressionless, despite what should be a kind smile on his face. Like he doesn’t feel anything. “Ignore Lance. I think Egyptology is a noble profession.”

His heart jumps a beat. “Really?”

“We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.” He holds a hand out to shake. Hugo takes it. It’s ice cold.

Andrew and Lance lead Hugo to the mouth of the complex, grabbing a few outside torches as they gaze into the yawning abyss of the temple. Pitch black darkness runs as far as the eye can see. “Shall we?“ Lance bows in front of Hugo, who smirks and takes the lead. The rest of the group follows suit, first Dwayne sauntering down. Then Stalyan and Eugene, bumping hips and trying to trip one another in an attempt to get in first. Finally Anthony, pointing the gun all around as if someone was going to come up behind him.

Hieroglyphs run up across pillars and walls and spiral up towards the ceiling that glitters with the image of Nut. It’s remarkably well preserved, there’s even some paint left chipping off of the walls. He runs a hand along the symbols, relishing the feel across his fingertips. The sandstone runs along seemingly endlessly.

The center of the temple, where usually there would be a statue, is instead a massive staircase down into the complex.

“Into hell we go,” Eugene murmurs darkly.

Read the rest at AO3

[inessencedevided]

What your favourite mdzs/cql ship says about you

So, by absolutely nobody's request I made a shitpost based on Eldena Doubleca5t’s awesome youtube videos. I included the link to the channel in the source because this post won’t show up if i put it here. Go give her videos a watch and then read this post in her voice because I swear to you it'll be a 100% funnier

Also, these are absolutely NOT to be taken seriously. I was just procrastinating by taking the piss out of these characters. I’m not here to start any ship wars. I don’t even have a legit opinion on over half these ships ^^ (though I DID jokingly include why I ship some of these. You can guess which)

Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian (cql)

You’re always a slut for period dramas.

Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian (novel)

You’re always a slut for the exact OPPOSITE of period dramas, which is sexual tension culminating in kinky consensual dub-con sex and copious amounts of pda.

Nie Mingjue / Lan Xichen

Your ideal high-school romance is jock/nerd.

Lan Xichen / Jin Guangyao

You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of devotion, deception and despair.

Wei Wuxian / Mo Xuanyu

You were looking at that tumblr memes about fucking your clone and thought “Mhh ...”

Wei Wuxian / Wen Ning

You don’t understand people who say they wouldn’t date their best friend. Like, aren’t you best friends for a reason?

Wen Ning / Wei Wuxian / Lan Wangji

You either just wanted good things for Wei Wuxian (and really who wouldn’t?) OR you’re just ... really horny.

Luo Qingyang / Jiang Yanli

You read mdzs and watched cql and each time a woman was in a scene you just thought “Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go ape shit?”

Wen Ning / Jiang Cheng

You are YuBin. (there’s a post on his Weibo. it’s brilliant)

Wei Wuxian / Xue Yang

You have a secret necrophilia kink that you won’t admit to under threat of torture.

Wei Wuxian / Wen Qing

You want a girlfriend who not only can kick your ass, but will do so upon request.

Wen Qing / Jiang Cheng

You are a firm believer in 👏 men 👏 getting 👏 pegged.

Baoshan-Sanren / Lan Yi

You are a lesbian who loves MILFs

Jin Zixuan / Jiang Yanli

You’re ideal relationship dynamic is sitcom-wife/sitcom-dad

Lan Wangji / Jin Zixuan

Your ideal date involves awkward silence and stilted conversation.

Wei Wuxian / Jiang Cheng

You're really into sibling incest, but manage to pretend that you're not.

Ouyang Zizhen / Jin Ling

You're always a slut for grumpy “tough” boys who go soft for one ☝️ man.

Wen Qing / Jiang Yanli

Your ideal relationship dynamic is just girls bein’ friends, gals bein’ pals.

Jiang Fengmian / Yu Ziyuan

This is just the same joke as Wen Qing / Jiang Cheng  but you also have a strong fondness for MILFs

Lan Sizhui / Jin Ling

You got your start in online fandom shipping drarry.

Lan Sizhui / Ouyang Zizhen

You love soft boys (too good for this world, too pure) so much that one day you were like, “Hey! You know what’s better than one soft boy? Two soft boys!”

Lan Jingyi / Jin Ling

You're a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of being bullied.

Lan Sizhui / Lan Jingyi

That’s just the same joke as Wei Wuxian / Jiang Cheng, but you just can’t with all their trauma.

Song Lan / Xiao Xingchen

You don't understand why anyone would care about a couple with a canonical happy ending when there’s a worst-timeline-au parallel ship right there.

Song Lan / Xiao Xingchen / Xue Yang

Based on my experience with this side of the fandom you‘re either into hardcore psychological horror or fluff so sweet it’s cotton-candy and there is no in-between.

Xue Yang / Xiao Xingchen 

That’s just the same joke as Song Lan / Xiao Xingchen / Xue Yang, but you never forgave Song Lan.

Cangse Sanren / Wei Chanze

You're a firm believer in keeping things ☝️ canon and keeping things ✌️ wholesome.

Yu Ziyuan / Cangse-Sanren

You love the dynamic of teenage Wangxian, but you’re also a lesbian.

Jin Guangyao / Xue Yang

You were absolutely fucking thrilled when be gay do crime became the hot new meme.

Jing Guangyao / Su She

You’re a firm believerin the inherent eroticism of class-solidarity.

Luo Qingyang / Wen Qing

Honestly, this is just the same joke as Luo Qingyang / Jiang Yanli, but you’re also into girls out-topping each other.

Madam Lan / Cangse Sanren

You just want good things for Madam Lan and really, who wouldn't?

Wei Wuxian / Jiang Yanli

That's just the same joke as Wei Wuxian / Jiang Cheng BUT you're also heterosexual. 

Nie Mingjue / Jin Guangyao

Your new favourite meme is that exchange that's like "go fuck yourself!" - "fuck me yourself, you coward!"

Nie Mingjue / Lan Xichen / Jin Guangyao

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of failed conflict negotiations and unsolved moral dilemmata.

Nie Huaisang / Wei Wuxian

You're ideal date involves wacky hijinks after which PAIN ensues.

Lan Xichen / Nie Huaisang

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared trauma.

Lan Xichen / Jiang Cheng

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared trauma AND working through it together.

Wen Ruohan / Lan Qiren

I can’t say for sure that you wanna fuck dads, but you definetly want to fuck father figures.

Luo Qingyang / Luo Qingyang's husband

You’re always a slut for characters who are in dire need of more screantime.

Lan Wangji / Jiang Cheng

You don't understand why anyone would care about a happy marriage when there's an unstable love/hate relationship to fuck around with.

Luo Qingyang / Lan Wangji

You ... are Wei Wuxian

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

what your favorite bungou ship says about you, a shitpost

Absolutely inspired by Eldena Doubleca5t on youtube, but also because Peaches and I were talking shit about Bungou ships on a call. Manga spoilery ships under the cut if you’re an anime-only. @scalpel-mom-mori it’s your fault I’m not working on asks. 

Yosano/Poe: You think the dynamic of Bakugou’s parents was cute and underdeveloped.

AkuHigu: You kin Higuchi, and you have a crush on Akutagawa.

AtsuKyouka: You only read fluff pics, and honestly, I respect that.

AtsuLucy: Either you’re me, or you just like tsunderes in general.

Ayatsuji/Tsujimura: You have a crush on Ayatsuji, which is valid, but you also want to see the world burn.

ChuuAkiko: You’re a bottom.

ChuuTsuji: You watched that one scene in Dead Apple, you dislike Ayatsuji, but you really like Tsujimura.

Dazai/Yosano: You like poetic irony, and you also like ability related angst.

Fitz/Louisa: You just want good things for Louisa—namely, for Fitz to appreciate her.

Hawthorne/Mitchell: You could write an essay on why this pairing is gorgeous and tragic.

Kunikida/Alcott: You ship rare pairs just because they’re rairpairs.

KyouKenji: You’re here for softness and pure cinnamon rolls.

MoriKou: You want to be stepped on, but you’re straight.

Ranpo/Yosano: Childhood friends is your only valid dynamic, and also you’re a manga reader. 

Tanizakicest: You…want to get double teamed by the Tanizaki siblings.

ChuuAku: Dazai offends you on principle. Also, you want good things for Aku.

ChuuAngo: Not only does Dazai offend you, you want him to suffer.

ChuuAtsu: You want good things for Atsushi, and you’re here for the fluff.

ChuuMori: You have a vampire kink.

Dazai/Ranpo: You have a fetish for people smarter than you, and a humiliation kink.

DazAku: You kin Akutagawa.

FukuMori: Your ideal relationship dynamic is divorced parents.

FukuRanpo: …Daddy kink? But senpai-notice-me edition?

Fyodor/Dazai: You like the hatefuck dynamic of Soukoku, but either you’d be too jealous of Dazai or you think there’s not enough of the hate in the hatefuck.

KuniChuu: You just want good things for Kunikida, and you want them to bond over how much they hate Dazai.

KuniDazai: You don’t understand why people like Chuuya so much.

KuniKatai: You think Kunikida deserves a life outside of work. Also, you like the Steincraft dynamic, you just don’t like the body horror.

KuniRan: You ship because Ranpo is the only one Kunikida doesn’t bully.

OdaAku: You watched that one Dark Era scene and couldn’t stop laughing at Potato Sack!Akutagawa.

OdAngo: You consider only the first half of Dark Era canon. Also, you love the Buraiha, just without Dazai.

ODazai: You just want good things for Dazai.

RanPoe: You kin Poe, first of all, and you want a pet raccoon.

ShibuAtsu: You have a boner for Shibusawa.

Shin Soukoku: You’re a fan of the hatefuck dynamic and you want Akutagawa to stop being so emotionally constipated. Also, you ship Sasuke and Naruto.

Steincraft: You started shipping this for the crack, but at some point you started shipping it unironically and you’ve never looked back.

Soukoku: You can’t decide between your boner for Chuuya and your boner for Dazai. Ie, you’re at least half the fandom.

TachiChuu: You like the senpai-notice-me dynamic of AkuHigu, but you could do without the physical assault.

Tanizaki/Tachihara: You have a redhead fetish.

HiguGin: You just want good things for Higuchi! And you have a massive crush on Gin. It’s okay, so do I.

Kouyou/Yosano: This is the same joke as MoriKou, but you like girls.

LucyKyou: You read the chapter after Atsushi passes out, and then thought, “but lesbians” and completely forgot about him.

Lucy/Louisa: You want good things for Lucy! Also, you’re into cottage core.

TsujiHigu: Subordinates kink? You like the dynamic of gals being pals and bonding over their shitty bosses.

TsujiYosano: You like the idea of strong independent women.

YosaKyou: Mommy kink. Also, something something sharp objects kink.

KouKyou: Extra mommy kink.

Decay of Angels Trio: Russians, Russians, and more Russians. Also, you adore their aesthetic.

Tachi/Teruko: You want Tachi to suffer, which…relatable.

Fyodor/Nikolai: You have a thing for psychotic Russians, and you think the nicknames are cute.

RanpOguri: Mushi is your favorite, and you never got the hype around RanPoe.

Sigma/Nikolai: You think Sigma deserved better and you don’t like Fyodor.

Techou/Jouno: You like Soukoku, but you’re a hipster. Or you can’t stand Dazai or Akutagawa.

[sapphicwhxre]

nemesis

♥︎ pairing: pansy parkinson x fem!reader, past draco malfoy x reader and draco malfoy x pansy parkinson

♥︎ summary: you reconnect with the girl that draco malfoy cheated on you with at hogwarts, and realise you have more in common than you thought ─ including the belief that the other knew they were the other girl.

♥︎ warnings: past cheating, asshole draco, arguing, use of the word slut, swearing, slut shaming, bar/alcohol, enemies to lovers

♥︎ a/n: we’re acknowledging that the title isn’t nemesis it’s nemesis but how taylor swift says it in long story short 💅🏼 also just yay ‘cause idk if anyone remembers since i shitpost so often but i’ve wanted to write this forever and i finally did it!!

you have got to be fucking kidding me.

that was your first thought when you saw her.

today was horrible. troubles everywhere you went and you thought you’d be safe in your favourite coffee shop. well, you were wrong. in line, there stood pansy parkinson, the slytherin princess herself.

pretty, put together, pansy fucking parkinson. the girl your highschool love ─ or so you’d thought ─ had cheated on you with for a year. you were over draco, truly, and hoped he’d matured after the war but to see the reason for all his lies to you left a stinging, bitter taste in your mouth.

you’d finish your coffee and be on your way, simple. there was no reason to acknowledge her or remember the smug look on her face as she kissed him, on one of the many days he stood you up. why torture yourself by remembering the glint of happiness in his eyes turning into one of panic when he saw you watching? you hadn’t cried that hard in years and weren’t planning on it. not over a stupid high school nemesis, you're better than that.

downing the hot liquid as fast as you could, you gathered your things and walked straight for the exit, not daring to glance at her. almost there, just a few more steps. but of course, the universe could never let you catch a break. the ladies’ restroom door flew open only an inch away from you and you were now face to face with pansy parkinson. shit.

as if in shock or relaying every dirty memory about the other, you stood in silence for a moment. “i didn’t know you lived around here,” pansy finally broke the ice. she swallowed after unleashing her hissing tone on you, visibly thinking hard about merlin knows what. “away from it all, i mean.”

nodding, you forced out a smile, determined not to return her clear irritation at seeing you. maybe it was childish to hold onto the past. “i do,” you agreed. “i’m more surprised that hogwarts’s resident pureblood princess is living in the muggle world, especially going to places like a cheap, shitty coffee shop.” pent up venom hit the both of you and you instantly regretted what you’d said, ruining the civil demeanor you’d hoped to keep.

the pursed-lipped scowl you’d grown so used to seeing in the halls during your school years met you and pansy crossed her arms, standing up tall. “things change, l/n,” she spat, omitting any details she’d considered giving away. “what about you? you’re here too, couldn’t find another girl’s boyfriend to sleep with?”

here you were just like old times, bickering and hissing petty insults at the other. you narrowed your eyes and scoffed, “isn’t that your area of expertise, parkinson? being so pretty and perfect that you just can’t help going and wrecking a good relationship?”

pansy looked deeply unsettled and upset. she raised her voice so much that any louder and she’d be causing a scene. “what are you on about?” pansy all but yelled. “you were the side chick! draco loved me until you went and started to spread your legs for him!”

you blinked at her, processing her words. there was no way, no way that she thought you were the other girl. she was the slut that fucked everything up, not you.

then it hit you. neither of you were to blame. “fucking draco malfoy.” you sighed, de-escalating suddenly. your eyes flickered up to pansy’s apologetically. “he lied to both of us, didn’t he?”

pansy stared at you blanky before responding, much more softly than before. “you... you mean you didn’t know he was seeing me?” she asked, curiously. you shook your head no and pansy quieted for a moment. “i didn’t know about you either, l/n, honest,” pansy said.

maybe it was the tender sincerity you hadn’t known she was capable of but without knowing what came over you, you sat down at the table beside you and gestured an invitation. “do you maybe want to talk? try to put this behind us?” eyes widening, pansy didn’t answer. she did, however, take a hesitant seat across from you and gaze at you oddly.

“the things i said were awfully petty, uncivilized, and immature. i'm sorry,” you hurried out an apology and added, “today and when we were in school.” something about the situation filled you with so much. anger that you’d blamed the girl who was a victim just like you instead of the abuser. sympathy and sadness for how she was feeling since you’d spent so many nights with your face buried in your pillow and feeling the exact same thing.

pansy smiled surprisingly warmly and exhaled deeply. “i’m...” she seemed to struggle with finding the right words. “i’m sorry too. all this time, i never even stopped to consider that you were hurt too.” you felt the same way, all of the hatred you had for pansy parkinson melting away. she was just a girl who, like you, trusted the wrong boy. no one deserved to be punished for that. yet you’d inflicted your hurt on the other for years. “draco’s a fucking dick.”

slightly caught off guard by her shift in demeanor, you laughed ─ to her surprise. “yeah, draco is a fucking dick. there’s a bar just a few blocks from here, care to let me buy you a drink?” you proposed. “it’s the least i can do after thinking you were a homewrecker for the past almost decade.”

“it’s only noon,” she objected and you raised your eyebrows. pansy looked to her lap, allowing herself a laugh that sounded dangerously close to a pleased giggle. “i’d like that.” you helped her with her things and for an unapparent reason, you noticed that her nose crinkled when she laughed and couldn’t help but think she looked awfully pretty. for the first time, you noticed pansy's beauty in a kind way, not one filled with jealousy.

on the way to and eventually inside of the bar, you and pansy conversed shockingly easily. you found many things in common. you had the same favourite hobbies, made fun of the lines that draco had disgustingly used on the both of you, and even ordered the same drink. you and pansy acted as if you’d always been best friends. you clicked so well that it was hard to believe you’d ever hated each other.

“y/n, you’re kidding, that was you?” pansy snorted with laughter, on the edge of her seat at one of your stories you were sharing. the use of your first name sounded like honey on her tongue and the feeling in your chest told you it was something you could get used to. “blaise and i were laughing for weeks, how on earth did you manage to not get caught?” she propped up on her elbows and listened intently.

“it’s a secret, pansy,” you rolled your eyes playfully, fondly recalling the memory you’d shared of you and hermione accidentally filling dumbledore’s study with bubbles that dyed anything they touched. you hadn’t followed the witch’s instructions and absolutely refused to let her turn you two in. who knew it’d make for a great conversation piece all these years later?

“oh, you’ll tell me one day,” she sighed. one day. you had to say, despite having butted heads at the beginning of your encounter... you got along incredibly with pansy. you could genuinely say that you were elated to hear her say ‘one day’ as if it was fact that you’d see each other again.

laughter dying down, you grinned at pansy and took her hand. the back of your mind told you that you’d only been friends for a few hours and that physical affection should be off the table. but something about pansy made the unfamiliarity not matter.

“i never thought i’d find you so wonderful,” you admitted. “makes me think we should have dated each other instead of that blonde ferret prat back in hogwarts.”

pansy didn’t laugh at your half-joke, instead taking the hand you’d extended in both of hers. “we could always start now, since said blonde is out of the picture.” briefly taken aback by her boldness, you returned her glossed smirk and felt a flutter in your chest. you turned and sprawled your number out on a nearby napkin, handing it to her.

“i do have to get going. but it’s a date then, parkinson.”

“i’ll see you then, l/n.”

and in the fateful turn of events you never would have expected at the start of that already terrible day, you found yourself unbelievably excited to see pansy again.

•──♥︎

[mcklunkers]

Round 10 of Star Wars bullshit/shitposty headcanons: we’ve hit double digits ladies and gentlemen.

Enjoy!

-Padme and the handmaidens had sleepovers where they are junk food and watched trashy holo-comedies 100%.

-Obi-Wan is a better athlete than Anakin but lets him win because he knows the kid is selfconscious about his abilities because of the chosen one prophecy. However Anakin and Ahsoka are the only exceptions to his hyper competitive nature. He will destroy anyone else at any sports based activity.

-Luke Skywalker lives off freezer nuggets and fries because he can’t cook properly.

-Fenn Rau is Scottish, so any clone that took pilot training understands an angry Scottish accent. Many of those ended up with the 212th, and Obi-Wan only figured out they understood properly when he had a rant under his breath and half the troopers around him started crying with laughter.

-Chopper used to be in charge of making Jacen’s cot at night, and sometimes he’d use one of Kanan’s shirts instead of a pillowcase so that the kid would know how his father smelt. Hera would curl up in the cot on these nights so they could almost feel like a complete family for a bit.

-The Clones have a tiktok/vine account.

-Jesse and Kix hoard blankets basic medical supplies for clones that are afraid to go to the med bay. They’ll fix them up in the barracks as well as they can, and if it’s serious Kix will just drug them as a last resort. They’ve used this strategy on more commanders and Jedi than they’re willing to admit.

-Thrawn hates being interrupted, but as an alien in the Empire he tends to keep him mouth shut about it. Back home? He has on more than one occasion slapped Thrass or told Ar’alani to shut up when they cut him off. Eli laughs everytime it happens and will always bring it up as a joke to Thrawn later, but never actively interrupts Thrawn after the Chiss told him how much it infuriated him.

-Fenn Rau is shredded and no one can figure out how or why. It’s actually because the other clone trainers roasted him for sitting down all day so he got buff out of spite.

-Thrawn has a cowboy hat the Eli finds...enjoyable.

-Finn is every resistance members first choice to babysit because the kids love him and he loves hanging with the kids. He is the hide and seek champion on the base.

-Faro has so many gay thoughts for Ar’alani that Eli will have to go over any brief she gives with Faro again later because not one word of that is going in. Head empty, only pretty blue lady.

-Clones play capture the flag paintball. 501st are reigning champs because they’re feral and no one can compete with that.

-The Rebels frequently roast Kallus over his ISB helmet cos it looks like cheese.

-All of the clones can sing well. (This is a public service announcement for clone/boba/Jango simps to check out temeura Morrison’s album on Spotify cos it proves this as canon.) 79’s Karaoke nights result in a lot of business. Especially when Alpha-17 gets drunk and breaks out the ABBA for Shaak-Ti.

That’s all for part 10, my Star Wars hockey team shitpost headcanons are also up, I’m thinking of other stuff too because my brain is very pro procrastination right now lmao. Also Im rereading the Thrawn books so there is a weird amount of that atm my bad. Enjoy lads 😁

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

hey,,,your thoughts and headcanons on indchuran college au 😳😳😳😳😳(i am very predictable as per usual)

o-o o-o college aus have my heart so thank you for the ask! These turned out as platonic/general hcs but I hope you like them nonetheless! (also this isn’t really associated with any set AU and is separate from the indchuran bros for life AU)

notes: this is based on the little I know about how US colleges/universities work ahahah sorry for any inaccuracies lol

— They’re all in the same year, and China and India got put in a dorm together with Iran next door (oh my god they were roommates ;) )

— They meet when Roshan heard Aditya’s got a copy of a book they wanted, went over to borrow it, and found Aditya trolling Yao with meme songs while the latter was wearing headphones and trying to study (this is kinda half assed and I don’t think it’s funny enough so if you’ve got another meeting scenario please do tell 👀)

— Yao’s fashion is a hot mess, per usual. It’s half lazy college student wear and half blinding eye-strain. Sometimes he still goes edgelord mode and does dark colors and goth attire when he’s particularly annoyed or grumpy (in addition to threatening to evict Aditya/steal all his possessions if he’s bugging Yao); Aditya and Roshan just coo at this. 

— Roshan dresses very eccentrically. I think it’s called the art hoe aesthetic? They dress like an art student but pick even more outlandish outfits. But it’s elegant in an eye-catching way, and it makes them stand out a lot. They like it and also love the attention it gets them :) also Roshan would be an amazing person to ask for clothing opinions, except that they might criticize your current outfits too much hksdfsdf

— As for Aditya, I don’t really have a set image for him really? lol I'd give anything to see him dressed in some kind of academia aesthetic (glasses are a bonus), but I feel like his style is more casual and comfy? just average person casual shirts and hoodies. Still knows how to pick good outfits though, but makes awful decisions when in the wrong headspace (like being Severely sleep deprived)

— Yao either studies a) business b) politics c) game theory d) a mix of all three (overachiever). I think he’d also take some of those like, quantum math classes and stuff just to ~expand his horizons~ and ends up taking enough to get a minor in that. Also absorbs STEM stuff from other people although he never went that route :\

— Roshan studies art history! They’re wicked at math as well though, I think they’d definitely be interested in studying pure mathematics as either a minor or a fun side hobby.

— Aditya minors in literature/creative writing and regularly waxes poetic about life. He also complains about the school cafeteria food in flowery prose. Yao yells at him to just make food himself if it’s so bad, but it’s too much effort 😔 (this is literally me)

I’m still undecided on what he majors in, but for now I’m stealing your hc that it’s biophysics :>

— Yao’s tried dabbling in stocks as part class project and part personal side hobby; one of his professors probably helps him with this, and somehow he gets a lot of money even though he invests in some very questionable things that look like shitpost material

— Courtesy of talking with @luyous, these three competitively study during midterms/finals season. They hardcore compete to get the best grades, even though they’re in different majors, and literally. the temperature heats up a couple degrees in the dorm when they’re revising because they all want to “beat” the other two 😭

— Literally they’re such bookworms but have a thirst for being The Best 😔

— Yao has a shit sleep schedule and both Aditya and Roshan have called him out on this multiple times; Aditya more often because they share a room and it’s kind of annoying when your roommate’s desk lamp is still on at 3 AM while you’re supposed to be sleeping. He eventually bought an eye mask for this but still has to forcibly drag Yao to bed at least once a week.

— Aditya is the resident boomer and tech hoe (although he fools around on the computer more than he does useful stuff) inspiration from you raunak <3

— Roshan and Aditya once tricked Yao into watering a fake plant they bought from Target for a full five months :) They keep a log of the shenanigans on their respective social medias as proof <3

— Roshan has a windowsill with a line of very cute potted plants! It’s very aesthetic and they show them off to anyone who asks. Don’t touch though because the plants are their babies

— Aditya sings very well! Has perfect pitch and all that. Does karaoke nights with friends, drags Yao along even though all he does there is type away on his laptop (and sometimes glances up to simp for Aditya). Often prank calls acquaintances, occasionally with Roshan, because he’s also pretty good at voice acting

— Out of the three, Aditya’s probably the friendliest if you’re a stranger, but it do be hard trying to build a friendship with any of them 😔 yao’s condescending to strangers and it takes some time to crack him if you don’t come off as quick-witted and smart on the first try, Roshan doesn’t really take people they just met super seriously unless they can impress/charm them, Aditya’s flashy but is kinda flaky and sometimes talks down to you and seems to always have something else to do besides hanging out one on one unless you win his respect. They’re good with each other though, occasional spats are mostly misunderstandings unless there’s Too Much miscommunication going on

— They’re all kinda legends for academic achievements. Roshan probably got a paper published in some vaunted journal about idk, changing methods of making pottery in ancient Iran or something; Yao has his stocks (and is also kinda rich in the first place so he’s “famous” before that) and Aditya probably got an internship or opportunity to do lab work for a cutting edge research thing

— they no-homo each other all the time it’s insane. It doesn’t help that they’re in close quarters (Yao and Aditya being roommates and Roshan right next door) so it’s like, accidentally wearing the other’s clothes, stealing snacks, so much touching and closeness lol classic pining material

— Yao jokes at least once a day that Roshan is just a parasite of his and Aditya’s dorm, with the amount of time they spend in there instead of in their own dorm, but they sniff haughtily and say that at least their dorm is much more organized than whatever indchu have going on (it’s true; Yao believes in organized chaos and pretends his organization system is having No Organization; Aditya just does whatever he wants and “anyways I’ll find it when I need it”, Roshan is the only sane one here)

— Roshan drinks tea religiously (all three of them do, but Yao chugs energy drinks sometimes, Aditya binges coffee when needed, whereas Roshan’s solution is tea)

— They’re kinda chaotic but it’s fine they’ll make it through uni :)

[bular]

Welcome to Live Commentary

I had no one to talk to while watching the movie and I hate being alone with my thoughts so I wrote everything down in my notes app. It's not coherent! Enjoy!

Aw yeah 1.5 seconds of Bular that is all I needed! Might as well stop now I've seen my boy I'm satisfied.

Why is there a nearly 4 minute recap as if I haven't watched the show at least 50 times. I should be the one giving the recap.

The beginning felt a bit forced to me but maybe that's just me? Like they just tried to squeeze too many things into a small timeframe without any buildup, it just didn't really work. Congrats on the engagement! This is my OTP so I'm very happy! But it came out of nowhere.

Nari in Douxies body is so wrong and I love it and hate it at the same time (positive)

Eli is BIG. I knew he was gonna be tall but I was not prepared for that chiseled face. Or the fact that he stepped off the ship without glasses? I wear glasses and I would not choose to step off a spaceship blind.

OkAY who had mpreg on their bingo card?

AAARRRGGHH actually said a full sentence 🥺 there is no heterosexual explanation for this scene and I'm here for it

Arcadia being the center of the universe really does make a lot of sense. I hate how much sense it makes. Despise it.

Strickler in a Christmas sweater is something i didn't know I needed. Jim's jacket too but that's just adorable, Jim's adorable. Oh sweet baby you're about to get fucked over so bad.

Love seeing Barbara actively participating in battle too. Good for her! Power family!!

Where are the kids tho? Is NotEnrique babysitting? Either that or they hired the girl from the Incredibles movie.

Nomura is so talented I love seeing her fighting on the good side. I can't explain it but I love digitigrade legs they're just so pretty?? Aesthetically pleasing??? Fuck yeah, legg! I could watch Nomura run around and be badass all day.

WAIT NO OH SHIT HOW DARE YOU FUCK

STRICKLER DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOT YOU TOO THAT'S TOO FUCKING RUDE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DEAD RIGHT WE SAW NO BODY

Barbara does not deserve this I refuse to accept it. He's fine he'll be back they wouldn't kill two Changelings at once. Also Nomura is with Draal now I take no criticism.

So my favorite characters were Bular, Draal, Gunmar and Angor. And before this movie I always half-joked that everyone I love dies, how I still like Strickler and Nomura but apart from them all of my faves were killed in the very order of favoritism. AND NOW LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOVE A CHARACTER. MY LOVE IS TOXIC.

OKAY I LOVE GUN RO- WAIT NO I DON'T LOVE HIM FUCK ABORT ABORT

It's great tho omg

I didn't realize it was Gun Robot when I saw it in the trailer this is amazing

Okay but imagine you're chilling in your trollmarket minding your own business when some misfit group of strangers waltzes in, steals your favorite shiny and celebrates your death before running off

"I AM GUN ROBOT" IS THE HORN LMAOOO

Nana better show up at some point to reunite with her boytoy, I'll cancel this entire franchise otherwise

Something bad is going to happen to Toby isn't it. He's getting too much screentime

Jim's hand got DEEP FRIED

ARCHIE NO

We can play Scrabble okay if they don't free them (which they must) I want an after credits scene of them playing scrabble

Douxie and Nari's bond 🥺🥺🥺

Nari pls just say what you fuckin mean the world is ending

Oh god is she going to remember killing Nomura oh nooo

Claire don't make the portal you will die again. Your hair gon be white all over

EVERYONE AVOIDING THE SCHOOL JUST RIGHT THERE LMAO RIP

I love how Darci is just with the school bus. Civilian girlfriend. But also love how the world is ending and Coach is like "fuck that I'm gonna teach these kids"

Does he know his son is pregnant

"Going back to the city where it's safe" buddy have you been to that city

Whatever happens, Nari has the coolest looking titan. Giant four legged gremlin. I'd adopt him.

WAIT SHE CAN FEEL THE PAIN?

Me: oh i love that titan

The titan 5 seconds later:

Did Nari just fucking die what the FUCK

Oh of COURSE the pages are stuck together RIGHT THERE

Seriously tho how do you not notice an entire nougat nummy in a book

Wait so Arcadia has another heartstone? Or OH SO IT'S ALIVE. OKAY GREAT. GUNMAR COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT HUH

Love how the Heartstone has been dormant/dead for months and apparently heard Blinky say it's alive and decided to wake up RIGHT THEN

Finally they're evacuating the city. This is like, the third apocalypse there. About time.

Okay so you can't pull Excalibur from the rock, but you CAN carve out the stone. Couldn't you just carve it off the sword as close as possible and like. Use that? Just swing the whole damn rock around?

God i can NOT get over Steve's pants. I mean I read a spoiler he was gonna be pregnant but I thought it was a prank or shitpost. I did not see this coming and I am never going to be over it. I love how he and Aja just roll with it and nobody else even cares. They've seen weirder stuff. So he's pregnant now. Whatever.

Jim's hand is bandaged and his ribs still hurt. I love that they're actually consistent with his injuries. I mean sucks for him but hell yeah for hero that doesn't always win!

Okayyy here comes the heartstone. Why not!

IS HE IN LABOR

So if you kiss an Akiridion 7 times you will have 3-5 babies in a few hours. How are they not overpopulated?? Also Aja couldn't have WARNED STEVE BEFOREHAND?

Eli is so supportive omfg

So uh where are the babies gonna come out of? I'm not into mpreg how does this usually work

OH STEVE THANKS FOR ASKING MY QUESTION

Oh good thing he happens to have 8 friends still alive. Otherwise this would've never worked. Nomura had to die otherwise there would've been 10 of them.

Why is everyone bowing to Jim? Did they rehearse this?

Stuart if you hadn't taken a bathroom break you would've thrown off the math and doomed the world. That was a poop of fate my man

Ahhh the signature quote. Where did Douxie and the Akiridions learn it? Did they rehearse this too? It's really cliché but I do like it tbh

If Strickler were dead we'd see more Barbara right?

WOOO BLINKY DRIVING

Ah Jim just used she/her for Bellroc! Finally we're learning some pronouns. I've been wondering this whole time.

MY VIRGIN EYES. WHAT IS GOING O N

How are they not dying with all this lava?

She really just yeeted Varvatos

Did Claire just tell AAARRRGGHH to jump off the titan and he did it without question

I want to say I like Stuart and want him to have more screentime, but I won't say it because I don't want him to die

Jim's poor ribs

Toby can drive yoooo

Tobyyy you're scaring meeeee

So did they really need the different stone or was the amulet just waiting for Jim to choose death over giving up

I saw the armor before but it looks VERY COOL

Also I didn't mention this before but I love that they cut Merlin's name from the incantation. Good for them.

Toby you lost your helmet noooo

For real tho I'm terrified for Toby rn. I saw a comment somewhere earlier that just said "Toby no" with no context and I am AFRAID

So do Bellroc's eyes work after all? I thought she was blinded back in Wizards in the past.

DID SHE JUST FUCKING STAB MY BOY

TOBY YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE GET OUT THE TRUCK

Bellroc maybe screaming "i'm powerless" in front of your enemy isn't the best idea

She sploosh

DID JIM SURVIVE THAT FALL AND ALSO IS THE TACO TRUCK OKAY

How is he lifting Claire like that buddy you have bruised ribs and just got stabbed

ELI HI CAN WE SEE THE KIDS

SEVEN KIDS! AND ELI JR I LOVE IT

This show really loves to give people more than the recommended amount of babies with no warning huh

She immediately knows which one is Eli Jr 🥺 okay listen I'm not the biggest fan of comic relief sideplot surprise babies, but I have to admit they're cute. Cute couple. Throuple. Eli is in on this. He even has a Junior.

I TOLD YOU WHERE'S THE DAMN TACO TRUCK NANA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND NEITHER WILL I

Oh yea he better fuckin be alive I will commit murder

HE BETTER FUCKIN BE ALIVE BITCH

FUCK YOU

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CHILD HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DIE IT'S ILLEGAL

JIM IS GONNA LOOK DOWN AT THE GREEN GLOWING BITCH AAARRRGGHH CONVENIENTLY THREW THERE AND SEE HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHING

YEAH USE THE SWORD TO UNDEAD HIM! THAT'S HOW YOU USE SWORDS!

Unbecoming Part 2

So is Jim just gonna Groundhog Day it until everyone is fine? There's only 13 minutes left we're gonna need a bigger movie

Also I screamed so much about everyone's death and now everyone reading this after they already saw the whole thing is gonna shame me for clowning huh

The scene where Blinky is giving his goodbye speech, there are no babies and Steve has a round belly? Did he reabsorb them?? I mean I know Jim is about to un-birth them but he hasn't started yet

JUST HOW FAR BACK IS HE PLANNING TO GO

WAIT HOLD UP EXCUSE ME WHAT

Oh they did NOT just do that. I though he was just gonna go back to like, the start of the movie maybe. Not all the way

Imagine being in your early twenties with as much trauma as this kid has and having to pretend you're 16 again

Somewhere Unkar is complaining because "oh sure NOW it's a good idea"

I know Jim is wondering where Toby is because he was there before. But before, he made an entire meatloaf AND did his homework before leaving the house, so honey maybe wait a minute

For a second I thought Toby wasn't gonna be there and Jim would return to the right time. But there he is!

Alright so they're in school now, did they take the canal and just didn't mention the amulet on screen or did they pass it as if the Unbecoming episode hadn't been that traumatizing? Jim you know what happens when you ignore it

Jim maybe you're being too obvious here lmao

Soooo. Anyway. These whole past years I've rewatched this show over and over and over again are cancelled now?

OKAY AT LEAST WE SAW NANA FOR A SPLIT SECOND THAT'S IRONIC TIMING

So we get the quote again. And Trollhunter Tobias is nice. Cool. Cool AU I mean, but I don't know. I don't knowwww. I've been way too invested in everything to just accept that it never happened?? So uh. Hm. How about this.

Strickler survived because fuck you, and Toby also survived and just has scars now. Maybe a wheelchair but he's fine, also he can use the Warhammer for super speed and make it awesome once he's used to it. Archie and Charlie get freed once they rebuild the bridge (and they were playing scrabble to pass the time). Nomura is still dead because she died on screen and I can't really deny that but she's with Draal so it's okay. Everyone is traumatized but they'll be fine. NotEnrique is still babysitting 500 babies and Steve is about to bring 7 more.

In summary, I reject Groundhog Day ending but everything else was great, as long as it actually happened. It was a good movie. But you can't just cancel years of passion. Having the prospect of a million "canon AUs" sounds great for writing but at the same time nooo you can't do that he didn't have to go back THAT far HHHHH

I liked the movie. It was a great watch and a satisfying end to a franchise, but I gotta say I do not fancy the ending of it so I will from now on be in denial. I honestly feel kind of betrayed that this show was my whole life for so long, I learned every smallest fact, and they basically deleted it from existence. I know what they were going for, I think, but no thank you I will be going with my own opinion. Still gonna rewatch it a few dozen times though ✌🏻

And that concludes my live commentary that was supposed to be a small handful of notes. Feel free to shame me for my opinions. See ya!