#this is also not even going into how people often have gut reactions to the literal word PARAPHILIA

[covid-safer-hotties]

also preserved on our archive

By Erica Sloan

These days, it’s tempting to compare COVID-19 with the common cold or flu. It can similarly leave you with a nasty cough, fever, sore throat—the full works of respiratory symptoms. And it’s also become a part of the societal fabric, perhaps something you’ve resigned yourself to catching at least a few times in your life (even if you haven’t already). But let’s not forget: SARS-CoV-2 (the virus responsible for COVID) is still relatively new, and researchers are actively investigating the toll of reinfection on the body. While there are still a lot of unknowns, one thing seems to be increasingly true: Getting COVID again and again is a good deal riskier than repeat hits of its seasonal counterparts.

It turns out, SARS-CoV-2 is more nefarious than these other contagious bugs, and our immune response to it, often larger and longer-lasting. COVID has a better ability to camouflage itself in the body, “and it has the keys to the kingdom in the sense that it can unlock any cell and get in,” says Esther Melamed, PhD, an assistant professor in the department of neurology at Dell Medical School, University of Texas Austin, and the research director of the Post-COVID-19 program at UT Health Austin. That’s because SARS-CoV-2 binds to ACE2 receptors, which exist in cells all over your body, from your heart to your gut to your brain. (By contrast, cold and flu viruses replicate mostly in your respiratory tract.)

It only follows that a bigger threat can trigger an outsize immune response. In some people, the body’s reaction to COVID can turn into a “cytokine storm,” Dr. Melamed tells SELF, which is characterized by an excessive release of inflammatory proteins that can wreak havoc on multiple organ systems—not a common scenario for your garden-variety cold or flu. But even a “mild” case of COVID can throw your immune system into a tizzy as it works to quickly shore up your defenses. And each reinfection is a fresh opportunity for the virus to win the battle.

While you develop some immunity after a COVID infection, it doesn’t just grow with each additional hit. You might be thinking, “Aren’t I more protected against COVID and less likely to have a serious case after having been infected?” Part of that is true, to an extent. In the first couple years after COVID burst onto the scene, reinfections were generally (though not always) milder than a person’s initial bout of the virus. “The way we understand classic immunology is that your body will say to a virus [it’s seen before], ‘Oh, I know how to deal with you, and I’m now going to deal with you in a better way the second time around,’” says Ziyad Al-Aly, PhD, a clinical epidemiologist at Washington University in St. Louis School of Medicine and the chief of research and development at the Veterans Affairs St. Louis Health Care System.

But any encounter with COVID can also cause your immune system to “go awry or develop some form of dysfunction,” Dr. Al-Aly tells SELF. Specifically, “immune imprinting” can happen, where, upon a second (or third or fourth) exposure to the virus, your immune cells launch the same response as they did for the initial infection, in turn blocking or limiting the development of new antibodies necessary to fight off the current variant that’s stirring up trouble. So, “when you get hit an [additional] time, your immune system may not behave classically,” Dr. Al-Aly says, and could struggle with mounting a good defense.

Pair that dip in immune efficiency with the fact that your antibody levels also wane with time post-infection, and it’s easy to see how another hit can rock your body in a new way. Indeed, the more time that passes after any given COVID infection, the less of a “competitive advantage” you’ll have against any future one, Richard Moffitt, PhD, an associate professor at Emory University, in Atlanta, tells SELF. His research found that, while people who got sick initially during the delta phase were less likely to get reinfected during the first omicron wave (as compared to folks who were infected in a prior period), that benefit leveled off with following omicron variants.

There’s also the fact that no matter how your immune system has responded to a prior strain (or strains!) of the virus, it could react differently to a new mutation. “We tend to think of COVID as one homogeneous thing, but it’s really not,” Dr. Al-Aly says. So even if your body successfully thwarted one of these intruders in the past, there’s no guarantee it’ll do the same for another, now or in the future, he says.

Getting COVID again and again is especially risky if it previously made you very ill. Dr. Moffitt’s study above also found that the “severity of your first infection is very predictive of the severity of a reinfection,” he says. Meaning, you’re more likely to have a severe case of COVID—for instance, requiring hospitalization or intensive care, such as ventilation—when reinfected if you had a rough go of it the first time around.

It’s possible that some folks are more prone to an off-kilter immune response to the virus, which could then happen consistently with reinfections. The antibodies created in people who’ve had severe cases “may not function as well as those in folks who’ve had mild infections or were able to fight the virus off,” Dr. Melamed says. Though researchers don’t fully understand why, some people’s immune systems are also more likely to overreact to COVID (remember the cytokine storm?), which can cause serious symptoms—like fluid in the lungs and shortness of breath—whenever they’re infected.

Being over the age of 65, having a chronic illness or other medical condition, and lacking access to health care have all been shown to spike your risk of serious outcomes with a COVID infection, whether it’s your first or fifth fight with the virus.

But you’re not home free if you’ve only had, say, a brief fever or cough with COVID in the past; Dr. Moffitt points out that a small subset of people in his research who had minor reactions with their initial infection went on to be hospitalized with a repeat hit. The probability of that might be lower, but it’s still a possibility, he says.

Even if you’ve only had “mild” cases, each reinfection strains your body, upping your chances of developing long COVID. A 2022 study led by Dr. Al-Aly found that COVID reinfections also increase your risk of complications across the board, regardless of whether you recovered just fine in the past or got vaccinated. In particular, it showed that reinfection raises the likelihood that you’ll need hospitalization; have heart or lung problems; or experience, among other possible issues, GI, neurological, mental health, or musculoskeletal symptoms. “We use the term ‘cumulative effects,’” Dr. Al-Aly says, “so, multiple hits accrue and then leave the body more vulnerable to all the potential long-term health effects of COVID.”

That doesn’t mean your experience of a second (or third or fourth) infection will necessarily be worse, in and of itself, than what you felt during a prior case. But with each new hit, a fresh batch of the virus seeps into your system, where, even if you have a mild case, it has another chance to trigger any of the longer-term complications above. While the likelihood of getting long COVID (a constellation of symptoms lingering for three months or longer post-infection) is likely greatest after initial infection, “The bottom line is, people are still getting diagnosed with long COVID after reinfection,” Dr. Moffitt says.

Researchers don’t totally know why one person might deal with lasting health effects over another, but it seems that, in some folks, the immune system misfires, generating not only antibodies to attack the virus but also autoantibodies that go after the body’s own healthy cells, Dr. Al-Aly says. This may be one reason why COVID has been linked to the onset of autoimmune conditions like psoriasis and rheumatoid arthritis.

A different hypothesis suggests that pieces of the virus could linger in the body, even after a person has seemingly “recovered” (reminder that SARS-CoV-2 is scarily good at weaseling its way into all sorts of cells). “Maybe the first time, your immune system was able to fully clear it, but the second time, it found a way to hang around,” Dr. Al-Aly posits. And a third theory involves your gut microbiome, the community of microbes in your GI tract, including beneficial bacteria. It’s conceivable that “when we get sick with COVID, these bacteria do, too, and perhaps they recover [on initial infection], but not on the second or third hit,” he says, throwing off your balance of good-to-bad gut bugs (which can impact your health in all sorts of ways).

Another unnerving possibility: The shock to your system triggered by COVID may “wake up” a latent (a.k.a. dormant) virus or two lurking in your body, Dr. Melamed says. We all carry anywhere from eight to 12 of these undetected bugs at a time—things like Epstein-Barr, varicella-zoster (which causes chickenpox and shingles), and herpes simplex. And research suggests their reactivation could be a contributing factor in long COVID. Separately, the systemic inflammation often created by COVID may spark the onset of high blood pressure and increased clotting (which can up your risk of stroke and pulmonary embolism), as well as type 2 diabetes, Dr. Melamed says.

There’s no guarantee that any given COVID infection snowballs into something debilitating, but each hit is like another round of Russian roulette, Dr. Al-Aly says. From a sheer numbers standpoint, the more times you play a game with the possibility of a negative outcome, the greater your chances are of that bad result occurring. And because every COVID case has at least some potential to leave you very ill or dealing with a host of persistent symptoms, why take the risk any more times than you need to?

Bottom line: You should do your best to avoid COVID reinfection and bolster your defenses against the virus. At this stage of the pandemic’s progression, it’s not realistic to suggest you can avoid any exposure to the virus, given that societal protections against its spread have been rolled back. But what you should do is take some common-sense precautions, which can help you avoid any contagious respiratory virus. (A cold or the flu may not pose as many potential health risks as COVID, but being sick is still not fun!)

It’s a good idea to wear a mask when you’re in a crowded environment (especially indoors), choose well-ventilated or outdoor spaces for group hangouts, and test for COVID if you have cold or flu-like symptoms, Dr. Al-Aly says. If you do get infected, talk to your doctor about whether your personal risk of a severe case is enough to qualify for a Paxlovid prescription (which you need to take within the first five days of symptoms for it to be effective).

The other important thing you should do is get the updated COVID vaccine (the 2024-2025 formula was recently approved and released). Unlike getting reinfected, the vaccine triggers “a very targeted immune response…because it’s [made with] a specific tiny part of the virus,” Dr. Melamed says. Meaning, you get the immune benefit of a little exposure without the potential of your whole system going haywire. Getting the current shot also ensures you restore any protection that has waned since you received a prior jab and that you have an effective shield against the dominant circulating strains. Plus, research shows that being vaccinated doesn’t just lower your chances of catching the virus; it also reduces your risk of having a severe case or winding up with long COVID if you do get it.

So, too, can the deceivingly simple act of keeping up with healthy habits—like exercising regularly, eating nutritious foods, and clocking quality sleep. Maintaining this kind of lifestyle can help you stave off other health issues that could increase your risk of harm from COVID, Harlan Krumholz, PhD, a cardiologist at Yale University and founder of the Yale Center for Outcomes Research and Evaluation (CORE), tells SELF. “Given that we will be repetitively exposed to the virus, the best investments we can make are in our baseline health,” he says.

Doing any (or all!) of the above is a big act of compassion for yourself, the people you love, and your greater community. “For the average person, it’s like, ‘Oh, COVID is gone,’ but they’re just not seeing the impact,” Dr. Al-Aly says, noting the invisibility of long COVID symptoms like disorienting brain fog and crushing fatigue. The truth is, in plenty of people, just one more infection could be the difference between living their best life and facing a devastating chronic condition.

[biggie-chcese]

ranking rain code lets plays on how much i enjoy/would recommend them

hi did you know i am incredibly autistic about this game and have watched, in full, several lets plays of it? and im still going? haha yeah im normal. anyway here goes... all lets plays ive watched from best to worst:

#1 Highest recommendation: JustOneGamr. ESPECIALLY for people who are going in blind. im so serious. it's the best way to experience as much of the game as possible without playing it yourself. They go through all of the content, side quests, gumshoe gabs, profiles, DLC, and even most of the flavor text. it's also a no commentary run, which i personally see as a massive boon because they aren't influencing your opinions of the game

#2: Pixel Partners. they've got real good vibes and they actually do the side quests. it's also fun to listen to their theories and see their reactions. they're one of the few who dont spend their time complaining and give more valid constructive criticisms than others. they also have the funniest reaction to the chapter 5 reveal

#3: JohnAwesome. his humor sometimes isn't particularly for me but boy is his lets play enjoyable. also has lots of positive vibes and is generally pretty entertaining. i dont remember if he does side quests but im pretty sure he does. he will easily make chapter 4 even more gut wrenching thanks to a very specific kind of incompetence on his part, which in hindsight is really funny

#4: NyanCave. they're pretty fun and also have great vibes! i like their chemistry a lot. they have some pretty good theories and good jokes, but they will spend a lot of time on responding to chat donations. this is fine like get that bag kings but if you're impatient like me it might get annoying after a while lol. it's especially bad in chapter 5, where the tension dies because of their waifu fight donations

#5: NicoB. I was never really a NicoB fan because he's a bit too loud and high energy for me, but his rain code lets play is still pretty good! he seems to have fun playing the game and even has a few good jokes. i think he does the side quests which is a plus but i could be misremembering. i still quote "and now back to yuma crackhead" to this day so there's that

#6: Faz Faz. This another no commentary run but for people who are in a rush. they go through the game as quickly as possible. frankly, i think these kinds of lets plays are not as good as the ones that go through the sidequests, but hey, it's there if you just want the main plot and gumshoe gabs

#7: Save Data. I don't recommend this one to people experiencing rain code for the first time because they will talk over the cutscenes and dialogue and that will get annoying. they also complain quite a bit about the same things over and over which can also get tiresome (im sorry guys i do Not care about graphics as much as you do). however, they're really funny and it's good for a second or third experience of the game. "this city..." is a highly prevalent vocal stim for me thanks to them. they will shit on on the game often though, so if you really love rain code and dont want to hear that, then avoid this one lol. but you do get to see my art at the end of their vids! that's pretty cool!

#8: Rat Attack. i straight up don't recommend this one. it's easily the worst one i've seen and that's sad because i really love their pngtuber avatars. they're not finished with the game yet and that's probably because they spend so much time ranting and yapping about everything else, or just concocting the most baffling theories known to man and spending wayyy too much time on them. you will also hear a lot of unfunny halara gender jokes sorry. sometimes they are funny in other ways but it's honestly not worth it unless you're like me and keep watching out of obsession for the game.

that's all the ones ive watched in full (so far)! here's a couple others i haven't seen in full but have seen small parts of:

Weeby Newz - she's got some fun reactions from what ive seen and is pretty funny too. i have only really watched her play chapters 4 and 5 though, so i cant give a full opinion. i dont care for yakou fathero as a concept though and she seems pretty heavy on that, but if you like that you may enjoy her let's play. i may go back and finish it soon!

CurtStreamy - genuinely very funny from what ive seen though in chapter 5 his whole crew has a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of makoto's character, which can be a little irritating. either way, most of it is great but his live chat sucks. i still need to watch the rest in full to form a full opinion

CrystAAHHL - ohhh she did Not like this game lmao. she is a based makoto enjoyer though. i only watched the highlight reel though i think watching her full streams would just make me tired. i personally dont like watching lets plays if the person playing isnt having any fun

JazzyGuns - unfinished but she is really funny and has good vibes. if you can cope with her probably never finishing the game then go for it

khee chu - im still in the process of watching this one in full but it's fun so far. i will say CHECK OUT KHEE'S MERCH AND SHINIGAMI X JUNKO ART!!! THE ART IS RLY CUTE!!!!

and that's everything! there's other lesser known ones out there but im just one guy i cant watch em all despite how determined i am to do so </3 above all else i want people to get the game but like, yknow, some folks dont got $60 to spend on a game lol. anyway have fun and happy watching!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Angel, Husk, Alastor, and Pentious x kind!sinner reader

Prize 2/5 for @coldsushisworld !

Notes: they knew reader before they died, making it all the more shocking that they ended up in hell

ANGEL DUST

A mixture of shocked and angry on your behalf. He had overheard from charlie and Lucifer that heaven was strict, and you being here in hell seems to serve as proof. Similar to Husk, Angel makes sure that you dont get dragged into any nasty business. Asides from that, he shows you the ropes of how things work; around the pride ring as well as at the hotel. He confides in you about what's going on in his personal life, though it's not often. He knows you won't judge him for anything, but opening up is still tough. He firmly believes you can be redeemed, if redemption is possible.. after all none of the characters in Hell seem to know what happened to Pentious... theres mixed feelings there, on one hand he wants you to get access to a better place but on the other hes going to miss you. Its selfish, and in a way he starts to pregame the grieving if that makes sense...

HUSK

It deepens his lack of optimism about.. everything really. Out of all the people he knew in his life, you deserved to ascend more than them all. The fact that you're here feels like a punch to the gut. Husk surrounded himself with a lot of people in his life, and in death as well; his belief that the universe isnt fair is cemented. Even still it's nice having a familiar face wandering around. He keeps you filled in on what's going on at the hotel, and hea very adamant that you keep away from sinister characters like Alastor. He doesn't want you to be dragged down into anything... terrible..

ALASTOR

Intruigied but vaguely amused. He already believes that sinners cannot be redeemed so hes not betting much on your redemption. It's nothing against you of course, its just his beliefs in general. When he has the time he does make sure to catch up with you, even jokingly asking if you've gotten meaner since you've died. Conquered any territory during a turf war? Yet any contracts? You still have ownership of your soul, right? Hes fairly sweet and affectionate with you, similarly to how he acts with Mimzy and Rosie. He doesnt have much time to spend with you, however..but anytime there is, you're both left with a good time! Being friends with the radio demon does have its perks, especially when you're too good natured to fight anyone...

SIR PENTIOUS

Confused, mostly. He is happy that you're here, because that means he has a friend down here in Hell. But hes also a little mad at the universe for condemning you. He has a reaction similar to Husk, actually. Even when he gets over the initial shock hes still a little sour about your situation, though its quickly put to the side when you propose hanging out with him.. oh my god please spend time with him he hardly ever gets the excuse to be friends- "besties" as people say nowadays- with other people. Hes lonely and it really shows in your early interactions after reuniting. If this is prior to him joining the hotel he tries to rope you into the turf wars, insisting that power and control is the way to go here in Hell. He promises to share with you, though he never... gets any influence...

[soloroomies]

lifemate (Chapter 5/ Sakusa x f!reader)

summary: the day you're tying the knot with your very dear friend, Kiyoomi word count. 2.1k cw. marriage pact au a/n. another update! I'm happy that I can update this story quickly. Writing this is really fun for me hehe <3

Masterlist

Not long after you and Sakusa discussed your plans, you both decided to share the exciting news of your upcoming marriage with your families and closest friends. The reactions were nothing short of dramatic. You think it’s a mix of shock at how quickly you both decided to tie the knot and genuine happiness for you. Some of them called you immediately, the most popular question being, “How did this happen so fast?!” So, you shared the love story you and Sakusa have crafted together. Some responded with a knowing “I knew it!” claiming they had a gut feeling you’d end up together. You just laughed at their responses, finding it amusing because there was no way they could have predicted this—both of you were truly just friends before. Your psychology textbook was right about hindsight bias.

Since the wedding is simple and you both hired a wedding organizer to handle most of the planning, there isn’t much left for you to do except look for your wedding dress. You also chose your bridesmaids. At first, you want four people as your bridesmaid, including Tami. Unfortunately, Tami is incredibly busy this month with business trips. Even Tami, who knows all your plans, was surprised. She didn’t expect your wedding to be held in the second month of the year. You explained it’s because you both want to do this before the volleyball season starts. Luckily, she doesn’t have any plans on your wedding day and assured you she would attend. Therefore, the people you chose as your bridesmaids are two of your cousins, Yuuki and Nana, and one of your childhood friends from home, Aya. They’re all thrilled to be part of your special day.

Today is the day you choose your wedding dress, just two weeks away from your wedding day. You actually have a lot of fun looking up wedding dress inspiration. Weddings used to make you kind of emotional when you were a teenager and a hopeless romantic. But then, as an adult with a hectic life, you weren’t really expecting a wedding for yourself. Yet here you are now, somehow able to have one. So, you’ll enjoy this process as a gift to your teenage self.

It’s Saturday, and you’re glad that everyone is available. All of you have a group chat discussing the stores you’ll visit. So, you go through those stores, seeing the dresses they display online, trying some of them on, and deciding which one is the best. After a few stores and trying on more than ten dresses, one dress stands out. It’s a classic and elegant gown with a fitted bodice and a full ball gown skirt. It features a sweetheart neckline and off-the-shoulder sleeves. The skirt is made of layers of tulle and organza, giving it volume and a fairytale-like look. The back of the dress is adorned with covered buttons and a long flowing train, adding dramatic flair.

Your three companions seem to have the same thought as you. Nana even starts to shed tears, making the other two emotional as well. You turn to look at them and can’t help but feel a bit emotional yourself. “Guys, please don’t cry! You’ll make me cry,” you say. You stare at your reflection in the mirror and feel a sense of enchantment and awe. This is the dress, you think.

In the days leading up to your wedding, you frequently communicate with Kiyoomi, juggling to find time between your work and his practice. You handle some legal matters and move many of your belongings from your apartment to his, leaving only the essentials for the remaining days. This often brings you to his apartment, where you arrange your things with him, assisted by people from the furniture moving and rearrangement services you hired. Some furniture is no longer needed, so you sell those pieces.

Two days before the wedding, you arrive home after work and are suddenly overwhelmed by an indescribable feeling. You've already finished some of your project-based side jobs, giving you more spare time than usual. Your apartment, now mostly empty, feels strange, as most of your belongings have already been moved to Kiyoomi’s place.

Your phone vibrates, and you see new texts from Kiyoomi. He sends a picture of a painting you made on a medium-sized canvas that used to hang in your living room. Initially, you wanted to leave it behind, thinking you had already brought too much. But when Kiyoomi visited your apartment, he asked about the painting and suggested it would look great in "our" living room, meaning his apartment where you will soon move in. The picture he sent shows the painting now hanging in the living room. His next text asks, ‘Is this too far to the right?’ You examine the photo and find the painting perfectly centered, so you respond, ‘no! it’s perfect.’

You then realize that you feel a swirl of excitement and nervousness, as the reality of starting a new chapter in your life and leaving behind the familiar truly sinks in.

For this wedding, there were no pre-wedding events like engagement parties or bridal showers. As agreed upon, the entire event was to be simple. There was no honeymoon planned either. When some of your cousins inquired, you explained that you both wanted to wait for a better season and were eager to enjoy your newlywed life in your own home.

The sound of your alarm wakes you up, and you look around the unfamiliar bed, momentarily confused. Then it hits you—you’re not in your apartment but in the hotel of your wedding venue. The bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents, and some family members are also staying here. And, of course, Kiyoomi, too. Shaking off the sleepiness, you decide to take a shower and call room service for breakfast. 

Checking your phone, you see a few messages from family and friends who have arrived in town, expressing their excitement to see you later. You smile, responding to each message with heartfelt gratitude. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock on your hotel room door. Expecting it to be your bridesmaids or parents, you open it and are surprised to see Kiyoomi’s mother standing there. She looks at you and smiles warmly. Bowing slightly, you welcome her into your room, mentioning that you’ve just finished breakfast and inviting her to sit beside you. 

Unexpectedly, she wraps you in a warm and comforting hug. Taken aback for a moment, you quickly return the hug. Then she looks at you, caresses your hair, and holds your hand. Her gaze is soft and carries warmth.

“I want to tell you how grateful I am to have you joining our family,” she says, her voice filled with genuine emotion. You look at her, your mind blank, unable to find the words to respond. She continues, “You remember you used to come to our house, right?” 

You nod, the memories flooding back. You recall the nostalgia of your high school days, when you often visited Kiyoomi’s house with Komori. Kiyoomi’s mom was always more outgoing than Kiyoomi and his father, often inviting you over for dinner. You usually brought your homework along, finishing it with Kiyoomi at their kitchen table.

“I’ve admired you since then,” she says. “I know we haven’t seen each other much since you both graduated high school, but I’ve always known you will leave a lasting impact on Omi's life. I often asked him about you, you know?” She laughs, a light, joyful sound.

You smile at her words, touched by her sincerity. “I’m happy that you’ve always stayed in touch with each other. And I was overjoyed when I heard the news. I’m just... I’m glad it’s you. You complement each other so beautifully, and I couldn't be happier to see my son marry such an incredible person.”

She pauses, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Know that you have my unwavering support, love, and respect. I look forward to many happy moments together as a family.”

Tears well up in your eyes at her genuine words. “Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me,” you manage to say, your voice thick with emotion.

You hug her, feeling the warmth and acceptance in her embrace. She holds you tightly, then pulls back slightly to look at you. “Please call me Mom, okay?”

You nod, a tearful smile on your face.

After she leaves your room, you're left with your thoughts. You feel a wave of gratitude for Kiyoomi’s supportive mother, but a tinge of guilt also lingers. You and Kiyoomi had to fabricate your love story, making it seems like you are deeply in love. It feels wrong that she believes you and Kiyoomi are head over heels for each other. However, you genuinely care, adore and respect him as a friend. You promise yourself that you’ll hold onto these feelings throughout your marriage.

As the afternoon sun casts a warm glow over the bustling city, you stand by the window, taking in the view of the skyline. Nana, Yuuki, and Aya bustle around your hotel room, helping with the final touches on your wedding gown. You opted to do your makeup yourself, choosing a natural and fresh look, and now, as you gaze into the mirror, you feel satisfied with the result. Aya hands you your bouquet of white roses and eucalyptus. Your wedding photographer snaps a few photos of you and your bridesmaids before it's time to head downstairs.

You hear the sound of laughter and chatter from the poolside area of the hotel, where everyone’s waiting. Stepping outside, you take in the beautiful wedding venue. At one end of the pool, a stunning gazebo draped in sheer white fabric and entwined with ivy and blooming flowers serves as the altar. The aisle leading to the gazebo is lined with lanterns and rose petals.

You stand at the edge of the aisle and take a deep breath. The late afternoon sun casts a golden glow over the pool, and you see the familiar faces of your family and friends turned toward you. Your father takes your arm, gives it a reassuring squeeze, and smiles at you.

As you approach the altar, your eyes lock with Kiyoomi’s. He looks unbelievably handsome in his tuxedo, the black fabric fitting perfectly on his broad shoulders and slender frame. You've never felt quite like this seeing him before. His black wavy hair is neatly styled, but a few rebellious curls frame his face, adding to his effortlessly charming look.

His eyes scan you and he gives a genuine smile he rarely shows to anyone. When you finally reach him, he gently takes your hand. Then, the officiant begins the ceremony.

After a few words, the officiant says “Please face each other and join hands,”. “Do you, Sakusa Kiyoomi, take ___ to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, for as long as you both shall live?”

You look up at Kiyoomi, feeling a flutter of nerves under his intense gaze. “I do,” he says firmly, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Do you, ___ , take Sakusa Kiyoomi to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, for as long as you both shall live?”

You take a deep breath, remembering your meeting with Kiyoomi’s mother and the thoughts that followed. “I do,” you reply, smiling at Kiyoomi.

As the officiant pronounces you both husband and wife, your hands tremble slightly. You think Kiyoomi notices because he squeezes your hand, his touch warm and reassuring, melting away your nerves. “You may kiss the bride,” the officiant announces. Kiyoomi cups your face, his touch sending a shiver of electricity through you. As you look up, you see his gaze soften and his lips curve into a tender smile.

When he leans in, you realize this will be your very first kiss with him, and it will happen as husband and wife! You try to calm yourself and place your hands on his chest. Closing your eyes, you focus on the sensation of his lips meeting yours. The kiss is soft and tender.

As you part, his forehead rests gently against yours, and your breaths mingle. You open your eyes to find him looking at you with adoration you’ve never seen before, taking your breath away all over again and stirring emotions you can't quite describe. You notice his hand still lingering on your face before the crowd around you erupts into applause and cheers. He smiles at you, making you smile at him too.

[genericpuff]

This has been buggibg me for a while. What is the reason why Rachel dehumanizing nymphs?

Cause from what I'm seeing the nymphs getting the most screen time is Daphne, Minthe, Thetis, Psyche and a little bit of Leuce and Echo.

4 out of the 6 nymphs we see are very open in their sex appeal and flirty. Yet for some reason they get discriminated when Hera, Persophone, and Aphrodite do the same thing but get a pass because the are white coded rich people.

For my knowledge (but I could be wrong if so please correct me) nymphs are known to be seductive and sexy but they were well respected just like any other God. They were given given sacrifices to please them.

Is this just another case of Rachel being the so-called "folkorists" who has done the first Google link she see or could there just be how she interprets then but like the rest of her story misses the mark?

So there are a couple different and equally interesting theories on this.

Rachel has established it as canon that the nymphs are lower class. And there are a lot of stereotypes and prejudices against lower class women going into sex work, which we see in LO through characters like Minthe who work as car girls (notice how in the present story Thetis and Minthe are both personal assistants which is also a role that's commonly stereotyped as "the boss' sidepiece" as it's a role often occupied by women in service to men). Even Leuce isn't safe from this:

Normally I'd just say "good for her" but it's clear with how much Leuce has been turned into the delusional girl who "manifests" her fantasies that Rachel is once again conflating sexuality with more negatively-associated character traits for any woman who isn't Persephone (because when it's Persephone it's sexual liberation always, she's not a "sugar baby", she's a "workaholic" who "earned her position and wealth", but when it's Leuce or Minthe or Thetis they're "homewreckers") And yeah, this is a common disconnect that happens between lower class and upper class people, where lower class people (especially women) are often judged and outcast for doing certain things or behaving a certain way which rich upper class people take and adopt and turn into something "trendy" and "empowering".

But there's... another theory that may explain why so many nymphs in the story are being pigeonholed into the "homewrecking sugar babies" stereotype. And you're gonna hate me for this, because I'm sure the gut reaction to reading this from many is gonna be "goddamit not Lolita again!" buuuttt yeah we're gonna talk about Lolita again.

CONTENT WARNING: We're talking about Lolita again, which means discussion surrounding the sexualization of minors is ahead.

There's a certain term the main character of the book Humbert Humbert uses to describe girls who are specifically, and I quote:

"Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travellers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as 'nymphets'." - Lolita, Chapter 5, Page 18, paragraph 5

It's also very clear from the way Nabokov specifies the definition of nymphet from Humbert Humbert's perspective that the use of the word 'nymphet' is intentionally referencing the root word of Greek origin:

"...I would have the reader see 'nine' and 'fourteen' as the boundaries - the mirrory beaches and rosy rocks - of an enchanted island haunted by those nymphets of mine and surrounded by a vast, misty sea. Between those age limits, are all girl-children nymphets? Of course not. Otherwise we who are in the know, we lone voyagers, we nympholepts, would have long gone insane."

Though Humbert Humbert is obviously not being literal here, the visual metaphor is strongly relying on the etymology of the word 'nymph', but twisting the depiction of nymphs in such a way to support his own fantasies.

And while I'm definitely not trying to accuse Rachel of having the same mindset of Humbert Humbert (seriously, I want to make it clear that I don't think Rachel is a pedophile, just horribly misled at best), it's interesting to me how this specific definition of a nymphet matches with that of Rachel's old descriptions of her own art:

"You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine (oh, how you have to cringe and hide!), in order to discern at once, by ineffable signs - the slightly feline outline of a cheekbone, the slenderness of a downy limb, and other indices which despair and shame and tears of tenderness forbid me to tabulate - the little deadly demon among the wholesome children; she stands unrecognized by them and unconscious herself of her fantastic power."

What's interesting is that I did dig up an old profile of Rachel's that actually acknowledged that what she's doing with her art shouldn't be conflated with, well... child porn.

"It's not THAT kind of lolita" and yet the writing feels like it's been smeared all over the wall with shit. There are so many scenes and artistic choices throughout LO that scream "it is that kind of lolita".

Though it is still a theory, and I don't resort to using Rachel's old art of "proof" of LO's shortcomings, I don't think it should necessarily be ignored that the nymphs in LO seem to be characterized very similarly to Humbert Humbert's description of 'nymphets' - devious and promiscuous, and thus easier to blame when predatory men pursue them, rather than holding those predatory men accountable. And we see this in Persephone too, but unlike the nymphs, Persephone is rich, upper class, and of a "superior pedigree". So she becomes the desirable form of a 'nymphet' that's praised and celebrated by the narrative and characters like Hades, rather than the literal nymphs who are shamed and outcast for simply having sexual independence.

Whatever theory you roll with is on you, you can dismiss all this as just overthinking nonsense, but I do think it makes for interesting food for thought because at this point, LO is undeniably - intentionally or subconsciously - influenced by Rachel's relationship with Lolita, and whether or not that influence is aware at all of Lolita being originally written to be a precautionary tale, that remains to be seen.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for headcanoning deadnames for trans characters for symbolism purposes?

im a trans guy (minor if it matters) who's been a fan of this one show for a little over a year. none of the characters are canonically trans, but there's a lot of trans allegories to be drawn from the material if you're me or my mutuals at least. the two main characters are both male and i ended up developing an au where they're both explicitly transmasc as a way for me to just explore trans themes in an alternate narrative. i haven't begun writing it yet but definitely plan to once i feel like it's solidly locked in my brain, and i've been sharing snippets & concepts every so often.

part of this was thinking of how they would've chosen their current names, and name symbolism got me considering what they would've changed them away from as well. one character i thought could've initially been named after his mother so i can draw contrasts between the two, and the name i decided on for her has a meaning that highlights her relationship with her father (and the character's relationship with his father in turn); it's also the name of the character's daughter figure in the show. a lot of the other main character's backstory kind of revolves around his dead sister, so i thought by making his deadname that sister's name then i could turn that into an allegory about transness and childhood and sibling death (and sororicide but we don't have time to unpack all that). i don't plan on ever explicitly referring to the characters by their deadname in the narration, except maybe in an ironic tone, but i think it would be cool to sort of sprinkle in references as subtext to just give the readers something more to chew on.

the thing is i've seen posts around talking about how nice it is to make trans characters/headcanons without once considering their deadnames, or how weird it is for people to consider them, and i definitely agree with the sentiment; one of the biggest goals for many trans people is for their past selves to be completely irrelevant, and i feel a bit guilty for perpetuating something so painful for the general community.

but i still don't think i'm an asshole in any way since these are literally just characters and obviously i'm not going around talking about real people's deadnames or anything. i just don't want to make people uncomfortable/trigger dysphoria if they find someone talking about deadnames for a trans charactsr they're attached to (i've definitely had that happen myself when reading trans fics, enough that i had to stop reading, and i don't know how you'd even tag for something like that). if the general gut reaction to this ask is negative then i'll probably consider just not talking about the deadnames unless someone asks about it, since they're not crucial to the plot at all, just some uhh not so fun tidbits.

anyway sorry this is so long for something i feel like might be a non-issue that i'm overthinking. if you somehow guessed the fandom have a chocolate 🫀 if you're one of my few mutuals who knows who i am from the details of the au then um pretend you didnt see this post.

What are these acronyms?

[simpfr]

Im so sorry if this is uploaded late or if it isn’t good enough I’ve been having the most gut wrenching headaches because of my anemia and i also have exams so i can’t be on my phone very often.

Tags: @mikeikax @bucky-barnes-supremacy @ken-zah @datweirdperson765 @pulling-out-my-eyes @yunonaneko @queenofsimpsblog @a10vely-yutazen @clayyfan @cantdothis-nomore @lieutenantlashfaz

Lieutenant why is ur user so long 😭

 I wish you knew.

Part 2.

His hair was so soft to the touch, it felt like you were running your hand through a billow of clouds that wrapped themselves around your arm as an ethereal feeling was sent throughout your body.

If there was a chance you could steal his hair and use it as your mattress and pillows you would've done it in the blink of an eye...

"Can you turn around so I can how it looks on you?" you asked and he nodded, turning around while avoiding eye contact with you, because...well, in a situation like this you would usually do something devious.

But, this time around you didn't and he looked so adorable. His hair was tied back down into to a loose low ponytail with there still being some hair at the front to not leave his forehead bare as it was his signature style while you added a little heart clip to keep the short front hair from falling out.

The only reason he was doing this was to leave an impression on gayatri, who he recently asked on a date.

They weren't they dating but they became friends a month or two ago and pavitr wanted step it up a bit.

Though, he never said it was a date but instead "a hangout"

Sometimes, you really wanted to stab yourself in the mouth and rip your tongue out.

You were the one who suggested they became friends and you were the one who told him to ask her out at least once in awhile to make her "grow or feel a connection"

Why? you weren't even sure yourself.

You knew she began growing feelings for him as well but instead of keeping them apart, you willingly made them get closer to one another.

who were you to deny his love life? He's been your best friend since the primary school days! you couldn't just snatch his chances of ever finding love out of pure spite.

But once again, ever since the whole 'hangout with gayatri' thing has been going on you've never really hangout or talk to each other as much as you used to.

The only time you would have a conversation would be on WhatsApp where you would text like two random people who just got each other's number.

You weren't sure if it was on purpose or not but you were still glad to be able to see him again, "actually, can you come with me this time?"

What?

"You mean third wheel? Yea, no thanks." as mean as it sounded, who in the right mind would want hear their longtime crush trying to get it on with their friend? Or anyone in that matter.

"I'm not talking about sitting with us! Just like, watch and be there with me for emotional support."

"Why now? you've went on date with her multiple times already haven't you? you didn't even ask me to go with you during your first time!" he sighed before placing his arms on your shoulders. Looking you right in the eye like he used to, but this time he wasn't looking for your reaction instead he wanted you to see his, to take what he had to say seriously.

Taking in a deep breath, he spoke,"I'm planning on confessing today."

....

Oh.

That sentence alone made your heart beat faster from anger as the walls of realization came crashing down on you.

you knew you should've said something.

you knew you should've made a move.

But you didn't, So you couldn't blame him right? It was his heart and he knew who he wanted it belong to.

You couldn't control his fate nor could you control yours, as in the story written by the one you were just meant to be someone who admired him as he admired someone else.

It took everything in you to not break down at that moment as you avoided making eye contact with him, "yea, I'll be there."

He smiled softly before placing a kiss on your forehead, a gesture he has done multiple times that always made you flustered but now you just felt dull.

"We'll be at the regular cafe, okay?" you nodded, waiting for him to leave you alone in his home once again but for a complete different reason.

He gave you one last look before finally living.

Fuck life.

⏤͟͟͞͞☆

They talked and laughed, clearly enjoying their time together. But, for some reason his mind was still on you. He knew you were there watching, following his instructions from before but he wanted you near to him, he wanted to see you, to hear you, feel you, everything.

Was his feelings towards you really platonic? I mean, it's not weird to think of your friend as attractive and loveable right?

Should he leave? I mean whats the point on confessing if his mind was on someone else as well?

But he didn't just wanna leave early because of that..

"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE!" A citizen yelled as a crowd of gut wrenching screams that slowly started to get louder was followed.

Everyone that was in the cafe began to scatter towards the door making it a struggle for anyone to get through.

Seems like fate decided to choose for him.

Remember how i said everyone went towards the front door? Well, it was everyone except gayatri.

She quickly got up and grabbed pavitr's hand, attempting to lead him towards the back door along with her, but he didn't budge.

"I'm going for y/n. You just get somewhere safe okay?" she looked at him with pure fear and concern in her eyes,"What? She was here?"

Oh right, she didn't know.

"She's smart, she would've left by now and so should we!" she said, trying to pull him again but failed miserably, "You really need to go, gayatri. I'll be fine." he said with his honey tone voice that completely swooed her.

She was hesitant but nodded and left anyway .

✰

He couldn't see you, he couldn't hear you or sense you anywhere no matter how hard he tried. Everything was fine, everything was resolved and everyone was saved.

Everyone except you.

It wasn't that dangerous of a villan and he was captured, so where were you?

He checked inside your apartment, you weren't there.

Maybe your parents house? No

Your friends houses? Still no.

You weren't answering your phone either, did something happen to you? Did one of the villains minion get to you? But why you? He never slipped up and went to your house in his uniform before. Did they somehow find out his identity? But that's not possible... Maybe It was his hair?...

Sighing on the rooftop of a random, he went towards your apartment one more time thinking that maybe there was a tiny chance you were there and boy was he glad he did.

You were there, not in your room but on the rooftop and just seeing you, alive and okay, lifted a huge weight off his shoulder.

he wasted absolutely no time to start swinging towards you as fast as he could, as if if he didn't capture in less than a minute you would disappear like sand in the wind, jumping and leeching onto you like a cat after his last swing.

"Wha–? Spiderman?"

your voice. He loved your voice so much but it sounded weak and fragile, were you crying?

"Spider man?" you asked again. He wanted to kiss you so bad, to make whatever it was that made you cry go away. Completely oblivious to the fact he was the reason.

Maybe his feelings towards you weren't platonic.

"I love him but I don't wanna."

╞══════════╡

Part 3

He forget he spiderman while spidermaning

[centaurisolarflare]

König Headcannons – Part II:

If I wasn’t clear in my last set of sfw headcannons, I interpret König as having ADHD and Social Anxiety Disorder. I’m going to get into some diagnostic criteria and give some of my headcannons for how they appear for König specifically, and some blurbs throughout because I never learned how to stop talking. 

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia):

Anxiety surrounding social situations in which there is the potential for scrutinization. I think König’s anxiety would be particularly focused around interactions (conversations, meeting new people, etc) and being observed. 

- He isn’t comfortable with crowds, the dislike of being surrounded by people is intensified by the tinge of constant situational worry that comes with being a soldier. 

         -- If you take busy public transport, where there’s people packed into a bus or a subway car, he’ll sit bouncing his leg and playing with your hands. If you’re standing, he’ll be right behind you with one arm around your waist keeping you close against his chest; if it’s a particularly bad day he’ll hunch himself over to bury his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in the smell of you and trying to ignore everyone else. 

- Even in more regular social situations he’s got this habit of coming up behind you and resting his chin or cheek on your head. You’re used to it, often grabbing his hand and putting it on your waist, but the reactions from whoever you’re talking with range from befuddlement to discomfort, to outright terror at this massive dude just lingering directly behind you. 

- He does not like having his picture taken, especially when he isn’t aware that the picture taking is happening. He will get upset if anyone refuses to delete photos they took without his knowledge and permission. 

         -- He does, however, usually let you take polaroid with him – they develop soft enough that his worries about the photo being horrible are eased, plus he finds he’s fond of the way you’ve got them tucked around the house. Once you took a polaroid of him that he clearly didn’t like, he wasn’t really saying anything about it but you could tell, and you fucking lit it on fire – you went and got a zippo and burnt the fucking thing. He was oddly touched by your wiliness to commit a small act of arson purely for his comfort. 

- I also think he’d not particularly like eating in front of others – as a result of his anxiety he thinks people watch and judge him more than they do, and there’s too many opportunities for something to go wrong, so the threat of that embarrassment causes him to take most of his meals alone. 

         -- The knock at his door is soft and measured, three knocks just loud enough to catch his attention but not startle him. He knows, really, before even opening the door, that it’s you. He wants to see you, he really does, but the thought of it kicks his heart rate up and he feels the urge to fidget with his hands or the edge of his shirt as he takes the few steps needed to reach the door. You’re standing there, holding two full meal trays, flashing a bright smile up at him as you explain that you noticed he’d left the mess hall without eating. You ask to come in and he wordlessly steps to the side, hesitating just slightly as he contemplates if he should ask you to leave – he reasons with himself that he’s confident if he did ask you to go, you would, and that’s reassurance enough to have you stay – before shutting the door behind you and praying he won’t do anything humiliating. You chatter about how you weren’t entirely sure what to grab him, setting his tray on his desk, and sitting cross-legged on the floor with yours balanced across your knees. It twists something unfamiliar in his guts when he looks at his tray and realizes it’s a fairly accurate representation of what he would have gotten himself. He thanks you, the murmur of his voice barely audible. Then, the battered slice of cake catches his eye. The sweets they serve on base aren’t ever particularly good, but it’s chocolate and, fuck, he loves chocolate. Usually these slices, provided to the base kitchens already in a small plastic container, are hard to get and it’s even rarer for someone to make it out of the mess hall without being forced to give it up on some grounds of hoarding. The way there’s frosting smeared on the inside of the container suggests you underwent that trial. You must notice him looking at it for longer than anything else and you immediately grin, devious and triumphant, and regale him with the tale of how you managed to sneak the cake out, all because you offhandedly remembered he’d mentioned once about liking chocolate. You even apologize for the dubious quality of it, and he thinks he could cry. The story gives him time to settle across from you with his own tray largely free of intensive notice. By the time you’ve shifted to discussing a different topic with him – giving his responses a genuine attentive regard that makes it difficult for his anxiety to think you’re secretly judging him – he swears if you ripped out his heart right at that moment, you’d find your name written all over it. It just… becomes a Thing™ to meet up like this for meals, in his room or yours. You always seem to know when to talk, when to turn your head away from him, when to let him think you don’t notice his fretting, and when to either coax him into conversation or sit in easy silence. He panics less about it. He finds himself becoming more and more comfortable with you – fond of the peculiar way you habitually gesture with your fork, how you’re always willing to split things in half to share, how you inexplicably manage to scrounge up hot drinks during the cold months – and he's surprisingly glad to have your company. 

- An individual with social anxiety can be fearful of acting in a way that shows anxiety symptoms that will be seen negatively. 

         -- I think König would be worried most about being the reason people reject his company or take offense to his presence. He, at his core, wants people to like him, no matter how much he buries it. He has a hard time knowing whether or not you’re joking if you ever pretend to be disapproving or mad – his fear of driving you away, of you viewing him negatively, totally wipes away his ability to detect when you’re being sarcastic or playful. I think once you two are close he’d look to you in public settings for indications on when other people are kidding around or not – he trusts your evaluation of tone and social context far more than his own. 

         -- I also headcannon that one of the rare times he isn’t worried like this is when he’s really, really tired. When he’s exhausted, he’ll flop next to you, lean his weight on you, and laugh when you struggle to hold him up. This is when he’ll be the most blatantly transparent. You often feel like you should excuse yourself as soon as possible when this happens, but sometimes it’s on missions when he’s falling asleep while you keep watch and you can’t go anywhere; or at base when he’ll grab your wrist and ask you to stay, and how could you say no to him? All you can do is try to mitigate whatever comes out of his mouth, so he doesn’t reveal too much when he’s barely lucid. When he’s out of his mind tired is when he’ll look at you, starry-eyed and with no attempt to school his expressions into something less embarrassing, and whisper how beautiful and kind and perfect you are. He rarely ever remembers doing it – in his memories the comfort of your presence slots in seamlessly with the relief of collapsing on his bed for the first time in two days. 

                   ---- I think the same thing would happen if he’s ever on hella painkillers. He’s awake but definitely not all the way in his own brain so he’s just babbling about how wonderful you are. He’s just… narrating his thoughts. You’re the medic with him throughout the helicopter evac when he’s covered in more injuries than God should allow? You’re getting more of an honest confession of his feelings than the situation calls for. You’re the doctor moderating his recovery from a nasty concussion? Holy shit you’re going to hear about how you personally make the stars shine. Your whole medical team will know how he feels about you before he ever knowingly confesses. 

- Avoidance of anxiety inducing situations.

         -- I love him, but König has a frustrating habit of avoiding or retreating from you when his anxiety spikes. He needs a lot of reassurance that you don’t think of him the way his anxiety tells him you do. 

- I also think, as a comorbid symptom, he suffers from a bit of body dysmorphic disorder regarding his height/size and his accumulated scars – he perceives these things, respectively, as defects and flaws due to the way they’ve only ever drawn attention to him in situations where he’d rather everyone not even notice his existence. 

         -- His heart is going to explode. It’s going to explode and shred through his lungs. Is that medically possible? He feels like it is. It has to be. Because this is the first time you’ve seen him in a short sleeve shirt and you’ve got your hands on his arms and you’re currently looking at the jagged silvery scar that curls across his bicep and- and fuck, he needs to remember to breathe. He offers the stories behind each scar you ask about nearly entirely on autopilot. Can you feel his pulse? He’s scared of what you think, even as you hum and trace your fingertips carefully over each flaw on his skin. He’s marred, he knows it, and he makes a desperate attempt at casualness with some quiet self-deprecating joke about how the scars are ugly, but they couldn’t really make the rest of him worse than it already was. He misses the mark by a fucking mile, apparently, because your hands go tight around as much of his forearm as you can manage to wrap your fingers around and you're staring directly into his eyes with the intensity of the goddamned sun. He wishes he could throw himself into the sun right about now. But he’s listening, mostly, when you tell him that he’s handsome and well-built and nothing even has the possibility of changing that, not to you. That you like his scars, the proof that he’s endured, and you wouldn’t change a single thing about him. He’s listening, mostly, he swears, but he’s also super fucking concerned about how his heart has definitely just exploded and every other organ in its vicinity is splattered across the inside his ribcage. He can’t function like this, for god’s sake, can’t do much more than offer a jerky nod and let you resume your exploration of his arms, littered with grumbling comments about how you can’t believe he doesn’t think he’s good-looking, has he looked in a mirror recently, is he fucking blind.

                   ---- Bonus points if this somehow takes place before you’ve ever seen him without the sniper’s hood on; so he counters that you can’t possibly know if he isn’t hideous and you cut him off telling him he’s beautiful, and he’s like you’ve never even seen my face, and you tell him you know it’s pretty because it’s him and because it’s him it’s pretty, it has to be, regardless of anything, because he’s inherently pretty, and he just… has to blush about it for several business days.

ADHD

We all know about how our boy couldn’t be a sniper because he was 1.) too fucking big and, more to my point, 2.) couldn’t stay still. König has ADHD, argue with the wall. 

- The inattentive criteria I think he specifically meets are difficulty organizing tasks, avoiding activities that require sustained mental focus, often losing things necessary for tasks, easily distracted by extraneous stimuli and that his mind seems to be elsewhere even in the absence of any obvious distraction, and he tends to be forgetful regarding daily activities. 

         -- I think for work stuff he’s got a whole mess of systems to help keep himself on task and completing everything he’s supposed to be doing – sticky notes in improbable places, a seemingly nonsensical ways of going about starting things, using things like the amount of time it takes someone else in the barracks common room to reload their clips as a timer for how long he has to do something of his own, etc etc. He'll drag his desk three feet to the left just so he'll notice it in the morning and remember something. I think he very often writes things on his actual self with permanent marker, usually on his hand or forearm, if he’s really got to remember to do something. He might even have a more regular system for that, like a dot on his index finger means he has one important task to remember. 

         -- He fucking hates paperwork. It’s boring as hell and his brain never wants to do it. Very much “but I know who’s saying I have to get this done; it’s me, and I know I’m full of shit” vibes. Deadlines aren’t real until they’re tomorrow. He bribes himself with sweets or something he actually enjoys for every few pages he gets through – if you see him buying a pack of multitudinous candy from the vending machine, he’s likely got a stack of reports to do. 

         -- It seems like he’s got a staring problem, and most people are super intimidated by it, but he’s usually just spaced the fuck out. You’ve got this odd habit of crossing your eyes at him whenever you catch his gaze and he sort of refocuses; he doesn’t quite know why you do it, maybe just to communicate to him that you notice, but he finds it endearing. 

- Hyperactivity and impulsivity – fidgeting, uncomfortable with being still for extended periods of time, excessive talking, an inability to wait for his “turn” in conversations or blurts out answers before the question is fully asked, difficulty remaining seated, and general restlessness. 

         -- Fidgeting. Don’t… don’t ask me to explain this, and it might not be everyone’s cup of tea… but… I think maybe, maybe, he’s got a lip ring or tongue piercing that he fiddles with. It’s a secret from his superiors, obviously, because that’s definitely not military protocol compliant, but I think with how often he’s got his hood on it wouldn’t be awfully hard to hide. I’m fixated on imagining him with one silver lip ring or a tongue stud, someone please explain to me why. Anyhow, I’ve mentioned before that he will fidget with your hands, but I also think he’s prone to messing with whatever’s near – whether that be a pen or a weapon or some part of his gear or clothes; he has a habit, of dubious safeness, of spinning a butterfly knife around and has more than a few small scars from where he’s accidentally nicked himself. 

         -- He’s prone to squirming if he has to sit somewhere for a while, especially if there’s not much for him to pay attention to. He ends up sitting super crooked most of the time. 

         -- I think he uses running or otherwise working out to burn off some of his energy, especially when he’s particularly restless and when he’s on base. He hates feeling stuck in the small room he’s assigned to sleep in, and there’s something satisfying and grounding about the ache in his muscles and the way he has to concentrate on his breathing. 

         -- When he’s comfortable with you, which absolutely took an ungodly long time, he will go on tangents and simply not shut up until he starts worrying that he’s annoying you. If you ask him about whatever his recent fixation is, he’ll be over the moon about it. Good luck getting anyone else to believe he can talk that much though, the most they’ve heard him talk is over comms in the field and that’s nothing compared to what you’re privy to. He always apologizes when he interrupts you, no matter how often you tell him you understand and that it’s alright. 

Other prattling unrelated to me thinking way too much about psychology: 

- Loves that you make the effort to learn how to pronounce his name correctly. When he’d first told you his name you said it back to him, asking if you had it right. He usually would just tell people they had it fine to avoid the awkward back and forth of trying to get them to say it right, but something about the way you looked at him made him actually give you the slight correction you needed. Then – and this is one of his endless fond memories of you – you sort of looked off into the middle distance, staring unfocused at his chest, and said his name softly over and over again with entirely correct pronunciation before giving a short nod to yourself, looked back up at him and continuing the introduction. 

         -- He’s watched you correct other people on their pronunciations, casually but like it was absolutely necessary that everyone else say it properly, and it never fails to warm his heart. 

- Very rarely gets drunk but when he does, he’s the type of drunk to call you and tell you how amazing you are. Shit, he’ll tell anyone about you. Much like how he’s quietly honest when tired, but his drunk honest is louder and more social. Tells his teammates or friends how beautiful and clever you are, tells the bartended how much he loves you, tells the people next to him how smart and lovely you are, tells the closest table how you make him so happy. Someone tries to flirt with him, they tell him it doesn’t matter that he has a partner, and said person is now trapped in a lecture about exactly how much you matter to him, complete with photos. 

         -- If you end up coming to get him, nearly the entire place will say hello to you because he hasn’t shut up about you for the past hour. He lights up when he sees you, holding your arms and swaying slightly as he stares down at you with the biggest smile on his face, mumbling about “See? Didn’t I tell you? Didn’t I tell you how wonderful they are? See? Look. Look at you, so perfect. I love you; you know that? So much.” 

- Loves when you steal his clothes. Cannot get enough of how you look wearing his shirts. 

- I will accept criticism and differing opinions on nearly anything, but I am adamant that König has the sluttiest little waist. I think he was lanky before he started gaining serious muscle in the military, and now he’s a little more bulky but still has that litheness about him so his proportions just give him a slutty little waist. I don’t make the rules, he’s just built like that. 

- I think, to an extent, he knows how to sew. Nothing fancy, and his stitches aren’t even or perfect by any means, but he knows how to mend worn patches and tears well enough. Hates threading needles. But if he notices you’ve got a tear in your coat or something of the sort, you’ll just find it fixed the next day. Left exactly where it was but mended. Like a house brownie. The only way you’ll figure out it’s him is if you catch him doing it. 

- I know this lovely couple, both from a country outside where they currently live, and every time the husband travels back to their home country he’ll pack all his clothes and whatnot in a suitcase and then pack that suitcase within another suitcase. He does this so he can fill the extra suitcase with all the food and things his wife wants from their home country and take her back essentially a giant package of all the stuff she misses and can’t get in the country they live in. Long story short, if you’re not yet going home with him, König absolutely would bring you anything you wanted from Austria, even if he has to bring a whole extra bag. 

- I don’t think he’d carry any sort of photograph of you with him during work or on missions. If there’s a chance of anyone getting their hands on the photo, of learning that you’re important to him, of hurting you or using you to gain leverage over him, he will not have anything on his person to even indicates that you exist. I think he’d love the idea of it, the romantic sentiment of having a polaroid of you tucked in a pocket over his heart, but he just isn’t willing to take that chance. On leave though, at home, he treasures every little sign that you’re around and involved in his life – from photos to the notes left on the kitchen counter, the way you kick off your shoes by the door, the hickeys and scratches that make it look like he got mauled by a fucking tiger, how you always text and ask if he wants anything while you’re out, and even just the fact that he knows at the end of the day he gets to crawl into bed and fall asleep with you next to him. 

- Piggyback rides. You can jump up on this man whenever and he will go on about whatever he was doing as if nothing’s happening. 

- If he’s drinking anything hot – it might be in a coffee cup, but don’t be fooled – it’s hot chocolate. He makes the real kind at home, with real chocolate and cream on the stove. 

[slasherhaven]

bo sinclair being touch adverse at first because he's not used to being touched unless it's to be punished? then him slowly melting to reader's touch because he eventually trusts them?

Bo Sinclair Accepting a Tender Touch:

Bo didn't like being touched. That was something you realised relatively quickly. Admittedly, you thought it was a little strange considering how he seemed to have no problem with touching other people, including you.

He never said anything about disliking being touches, of course, nor did he lash out. He didn't even flinch. But he would tense up, like he was preparing himself for something. How somebody might instinctively tense up when anticipating a strike.

You never mentioned it despite how often the subtle reactions played on your mind. You knew Bo wouldn't take it well, he'd snap to defend himself. You didn't need him to tell you the root of the reaction though, you knew just enough about the brothers' childhood to know it likely stemmed from that. You also knew that was a sensitive subject for Bo, even more of a reason to not ask him about it. Even if you wanted him to open up to you so you could provide help and comfort.

So, you become more tactical about your touches.

Firstly, you always make sure he can see the touch coming. You never place a hand on him from behind, only ever doing so when he is looking at you and can predict your movements. You also tried to avoid touching him quickly. You would move slowly enough that he would be able to see what you were going to do without being obvious that you were being careful around him, you knew he would hate 'being coddled'.

It happens over time but you see it happen and it compares to nothing else.

The way he stops tensing, a little less every time you touch him. Eventually you don't have to think about it so hard. You can lay a gentle hand on him casually without him going tense. He had grown used to the casual touches and that was a great achievement.

Tender touches where a different story, something he was nearly completely unfamiliar with experiencing. The first time you brush your finger tips over his cheek, he scowls, like he doesn't quite understand what you're doing or why you're doing it.

Even when he touches you, there's something about it that makes you feel like its purposeful. Like he just can't touch tenderly and instinctively.

It's another thing that changed over time. Something that you adored watching bloom.

It's the early hours of the morning when Bo comes down the stairs, dressed in a tee shirt and sweatpants, his hair still damp from his shower.

"Why are you still up?" you ask from your place on the couch.

"Could ask you the same thing," Bo mumbled, only glancing at you. You still caught the dark circles under his eyes.

"...I was worried about you," you confessed. Bo just scoffed, continuing through into the kitchen. You stood and followed him. "Seriously Bo, you've spent all day and night working on your truck. You must be exhausted, you should get some sleep."

"We need a truck. Last lot of bastards fucked it up," he shrugged, pulling the fridge door open to grab a beer. You frowned to yourself as he opened the can and shut the fridge door.

"You could have taken breaks though," you knew you shouldn't probe, you knew it only frustrated the man in front of you, but here you were and you cared, goddamn it.

"I'm a grown man, I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. You want to baby someone, go find Lester or Vincent," Bo huffed, leaning back against the kitchen counter and bringing the beer can to his lips.

"Bo..." you sighed, crossing the kitchen in a few strides until you were standing right before him.

Gently you took the can from his hand. "What th-" Bo began to complain but you just shushed him and placed the can down on the counter behind him.

"I'm not asking you to spill your guts or anything but clearly something is wrong, even if it is just anger about what those lot did to your truck. You worked hard all day and you're tired. Just go to bed," your voice was just firm enough for him to listen, but soft enough for him to know you cared, even if he wanted to protest about it.

"Everything is fixed," you slowly brought your hand up to his face, making sure he saw it coming, before cupping his cheek. "Rest for a bit."

Maybe it was just because he was tired and his body ached from toiling with machinery under the hot sun, but when you thumb brushed over his cheekbone he let out a soft sigh. You saw the moment he realised he had turned into your touch, saw the conflict in his eyes as he tensed up just like he used too.

You knew it this was going to be a big moment, almost a deciding moment in your efforts. Either Bo would push you away, grab his beet and tell you to mind your own business, or he would accept the soft touch.

You remained still as he assessed you, gaze darting around your face, looking like he was trying to figure something out. He must have seen your sincerity, seen all the times you chose to stay, seen all the time you had been there, because you felt him slowly relaxing under your touch again.

Bo dropped his head forward and you met him halfway, letting him rest his forehead against yours. You felt his body deflate, shoulders dropped, hands unclenching.

"Fine," Bo mumbled, "I'm tired."

You smiled a little, both fond and infuriated by the man.

You ran your fingers through his damp hair, feeling him tense again when you reached the back of his head, a texture of his scalp changing under your fingertips. You quickly moved your touch higher up on his head, feeling him relax again. You wanted to apologise but didn't verbally, knowing better than to address it.

There was so much you wanted to do. You wanted to corral him to his bed to get him to sleep already, you wanted to reassure him about anything you could think of, maybe even give him a gentle kiss. But you did none of that, not daring to break the moment.

Here Bo was, allowing himself gentleness, melting into your touch and letting his eyes flutter shut. It was a small miracle in your world, and you wouldn't want to disturb it for anything.

Standing in the artificial light of the kitchen, foreheads pressed together and a hand in his hair being the only places you were connected, may not seem like much. But it meant so much for the future in Ambrose and the future of you and Bo.

[grison-in-space]

Hi! Just wanted to say, re:veganism discourse: Excellent Opinions, Great Delivery, Immaculate Vibes 👍 have a great day :)

cheers, ty! it is honestly sort of surprising to me that folks are reading along--as I said to someone else in DMs, I kind of figured that response was mostly something I was putting together in my own head, so I'm pleasantly surprised it's resonating with other people.

I am also just. :| not thrilled to have to be typing up all these "and here's how caring about animal welfare can radicalize you down all these shitty pathways if you add X and Y and Z" because at the end of the day I do think all species are worthy of basic respect; at the end of the day I do think there's nothing fundamentally better about me as a human than any other species. At the end of the day it actually matters a lot to me that my research mice are kept with as much enrichment as I can give them and that their lives and bodies and effort are honored and used wisely. It matters to me that the dogs I teach and the people I teach to train their dogs are learning with minimum stress and maximal confidence. These are all really important planks of my personal code of ethics!

It sucks to feel like I need to sit down and enumerate all the reasons that I think this other perspective of people who start in the same place I do--animals are neat individuals who encompass both the alien and the familiar, which share our lives in a multitude of ways--has developed in such a way that I think it encourages a really toxic way of relating both to animals and ourselves. In general I prefer to focus on places where I can agree with other folks, even if their opinions are different from mine. Someone in the notes brought up "struggle sessions," which are kind of the epitome of toxicity within the left: good values and a desire to help one another get so channeled through perfectionism and backbiting that you wind up with people gathering to literally torture and destroy each other. (Not just in China, either; it keeps happening, cf. Synanon in the US and the dissolution of the Japanese United Red Army.) That's not the kind of way I want to interact with people I'm supposed to be working together with.

So I try not to do that shit too much. I think about the places where people who have values just like mine go down rabbit holes and wind up in bad places, and I try and build barriers so I don't get burned out and angry and dissolve in a puff of flame. (I'm not directly engaging further with this anon for that reason, actually.) But just--aaaaaaaaauuuughhh, ARAs really irritate me because I can see where the roots are, and yet the entire ideology means that there essentially can't be listening. You can see that in the way I'm sitting here going "No, I know what your ideas are, here's why I have rejected them," and still I am getting exhortations to just listen and understand about ARA ideology. No. I did that, the last time there were protests about it in my workplace I went ahead and read the actual detailed IACUC reports released by FOIA that the protestors were shouting about, and bluntly it was a) not convincing and b) exactly the same appeals to emotional knee-jerk reactions and emotional flooding that I decried yesterday. Twenty years I have been checking my responses to these people, and it's never anything different.

I don't think that removing emotion totally from ethics and morals is wise or even possible--we use emotion for decisionmaking and encoding our values, after all, a person without emotion literally cannot decide things--but I do not like or tolerate subcultures that won't leave space to sit, think, and let the first knee-jerk rush of gut response die down. Sometimes, often, I do decide that my gut reaction is right! But I need the space to sit the fuck down and think about it, and if you take that to an ARA space you will mostly get flooded with more emotionally reactive imagery until you agree or leave. And that is coercive.

[ender-cloud]

That new TGS update made me physically ill holy shit! Spoilers under cut

I feel like we all knew that this would happen but I wasn’t actually ready for it, Like god Lanyon you truly were screwed over

THIS MADE ME LIKE AGAHBAGWGAVEVS!!!

Also after this the “I wanted to be the person you needed me to be” makes me just feel so agshabaggas JEKYLLLL!!! It broke my heart and im still not ok.

Even after jekyll admitted it was him Lanyon still wanted to find an excuse how it couldn’t be at first and it’s just like, Lanyon! You can’t be doing this to me man!

Also, just, Jekyll saying that Hyde was a mistake is a punch to the gut, because i get how he can think that but Hyde is still like a part of Jekyll he separated from himself! Does he think that part of himself was a mistake? Or does he think that ever separating Hyde from him was a mistake? Because these two things can have very different meanings.

If he thinks that part of himself was a mistake: he hates a part of himself that he cant control which is something a lot of people experience but its still not ideal, But its also Fucked up, Because Hyde has become his own person and Jekyll is acting like he Dosent exist, like Hyde can’t hear all of this

But on the other hand if he thinks it was a mistake separating Hyde from himself might mean that he can see that maybe it would be better if he still had that part with him and this shows his growth from who he used to be. Finally realizing that it still makes him, him, again something some people need to overcome in real life.

Though it is most likely the first option but i can only hope its the second

I know that Lanyon’s reaction is probably the most important but I really want to see Jaspers and Rachels reactions too because we havent even gotten a glimpse of them in the background and it’s just heightening my curiosity, because Rachel was close to both of them so she’s the one im most interested in after Lanyon.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE PAIN!!!

Im going to be honest i think Lanyon is valid for this because yes it has been 2 years and He and Jekyll have been friends for long enough to where you would have this trust base relationship.

Also they just got together romantically which would fuck up Lanyons mind even more. Like way to go Jekyll breaking the foundation of trust in a relationship in your first day of being in one. I can see how he might feel like his feelings are being played with, Hyde would avoid him, and ive been mentioning this so often but like if someone you thought was your friend and they had an Alter ego that avoided you wouldnt you be hurt?

I feel like im shitting on Jekyll a lot, and I don’t mean to because I like Jekyll!! Dont get me wrong!!! But you have to admit that it is his fault, he’s not always the victim, its the people around him who’s being affected by his actions. It was Jekyll’s choice to continue to drink the potion, it was Jekyll’s choice not to tell Lanyon, there was no outside force making him do this.

And you can’t say that Hyde was making him continue to drink the potion because for 1; i doubt that in the beginning Hyde would be able to bother him that much only starting out, im sure it was another thing that developed over time with the potions use and 2; as we saw Jekyll could’ve thrown away those potions on his own terms at any time, he didn’t have to make more.

I just wanted to make this known because i feel like it needs to, do i like Jekyll? Yes. Do i feel bad for him? Yes. Do i think he’s the victim in the situation? No, because of the reasons above. But really, I don’t hate Jekyll, and its not like its always his fault, no, but in this situation it was his actions that lead to this.

I got really sidetracked so heres some of the other images i saved because this is getting really long.

Them both crying Makes this so much worse like, these two almost never show their emotions around people, and now in front of everyone they are about to breakdown, it just makes my chest tight, God dammit Sage this Chapter was painful

[bthump]

I’m sorry if you’ve received an ask like this before but I genuinely don’t understand the hand wringing over the rape? People complain about it so much while totally ignoring the fact that torture, murder and war is 5x more prevalent in Berserk which has just become so normalized nowadays people don't even notice it anymore. I obviously don't enjoy the rape scenes, but I really don't think they even stand out the much amidst all the other insane shit going on in Berserk.

To be fair I think rape is different than most fictional violence in part because rape is something that like 1 in 6 women have personally experienced, and even more have experienced some form of sexual assault, and of those who haven't most see it as a tangible fear they have to worry about, unlike torture or dying in battle, and in part because culturally it's very gendered violence (and the fact that men can be rape victims too doesn't negate that) and therefore the way it's depicted says something about how a creator views women/gendered violence.

These are good reasons for creators to be a little bit more cautious and considerate when choosing to portray rape as opposed to most other types of violence in fiction. The emotional impact on a potential reader is likely to be different, and being aware of the emotional impact of your story is part of what makes it effective.

That said, I don't think it's automatically always terrible to portray rape in ways other than serious realistic drama. There's a place for eg eroticized rape. I don't think Berserk is that place though. Personally my biggest problem with the rape in Berserk - not all of the rape, but definitely most - is that it clashes tonally with the rest. Eg, we're meant to see the Eclipse rape as a dramatic tragic moment, but it visually looks like cuckold porn. That's a big tone problem.

But it's also misogynist. If a creator doesn't notice that a sexy rape scene clashes with the intended realistic dramatic impact, then they're basically blind to the objectification of women. The eroticization just comes naturally because they're steeped in it, like they can't perceive of a way to draw a naked woman that doesn't look traced from porn. That's a big social problem.

I don't think all the rape in Berserk is badly written and depicted - the three main characters' backstories eg are all generally pretty well done (give or take the racism in Guts') - but more often than not it clashes with the tone of the rest of the story, especially for readers who have that more visceral reaction to rape. When a story treats it as minor shock value, equivalent to a background character getting stabbed to show that the world is violent, that might work for some people who are more emotionally distanced from the reality of sexual violence, but someone who's been a victim of sexual violence, or knows a victim (which accounts for a large percentage of any audience) is less likely to have the intended mild reaction.

And when a story treats it as emotionally intense drama but depicts it as sexualized, that's also a tone problem and inherently misogynist.

So yeah, that's my take on why people get upset at the rape moreso than the torture and other violence. Sexual violence has a different and more intense place in most people's minds, for good reason.

[dqryls-bow]

I’m not going anywhere

Daryl Dixon x reader

Warnings: none !

You had been living in the prison for a while now, being on of the many that Rick accepted after Woodburys fall. You had made friends with a few of his ‘inner circle’ and you talked to the women a lot to help with different jobs such as laundry and cooking, or what was left to cook in the apocalypse.

At first, Rick was quite reluctant to let Woodbury join the prison, or what was left of it anyway, a few of Rick’s group had managed to persuade him saying everyone deserves a second chance, even though your community had done nothing wrong as it was all the governor, but who where you to argue? You were being offered shelter after all.

You had come to trust your new family, a few sticking out to you in particular, quickly becoming close friends with Maggie, while gaining Rick’s respect as the days went on, so much so he even trusted you with Carl and Judith, who you would baby sit every now and then. The baby would babble incoherent nonsense into your ear as she played with your hair absentmindedly, completely unaware to the horrors of the world while Carl would complain about your lame jokes (even though he laughed at them, they were unfunny according to him).

One particular hunter grabbed your attention as soon as you saw him. His closed of nature made you intrigued and curious about him. Although you had only had a full conversation with him once of twice, you’d exchange nods of approval and done him favors every so often. Even washing his vest when he would let you, Carol and Maggie found this amusing because if they were to touch the item of clothing, they’d have hell to pay. But they weren’t stupid, nor was anyone else in the prison. Rick continuously sending you both out on runs together, both oblivious to the obvious setup.

“Ask her out Pookie.” Carol quipped, playfully pushing Daryl’s shoulder.

You had also caught Daryls eye when you first arrived,not because of your looks, well partly, but because of your caring nature and personality.

He knew someone so caring couldn’t want him as an individual. You never really talked to him if he didn’t initiate it, which he thought was out of the fact that you didn’t like him. How wrong he was.

“Don’t like ‘er.” He sulked, brushing Carols hand off of his shoulder as they both watched you taking care of various duties around the cell block, picking up forgotten items as you went around, greeting people as they passed with one of your smiles.

“Mhm. So we’re both just watching her out of fascination? I’m sure she likes you too, that’s what Maggie said anyways, and I quote, it’s like both of them were hit with Cupids arrow.” The older woman faced him, her tight lipped smile mocking the archer.

Daryl rolled his eyes at her antics, continuing to watch you, admiring how you looked so effortlessly beautiful doing everyday activities. “Cupid must a’ messed up.”

Carol sighed at her best friend’s reaction, knowing that you liked Daryl back, it was infuriating that he wouldn’t grow a pair and just ask you out or at least exchange one non awkward moment. “Just ask her to help you with something, just make it up. You deserve to find someone too you know, just look at Glenn and Maggie. It all worked out for them, I mean, who would’ve thought Glenn had the guts? Anyways, go get the girl you’ll regret it if you don’t, then I’ll have to hear it all.”

With that the woman left him and his thoughts, different outcomes sweeping his mind of what could happen if he asked you. His friendship with you could end, or it could turn into something more? You could laugh in his face, not wanting to be with a redneck like himself.

“You ok?” You asked, walking towards Daryl after noticing him standing like a baby in a Cosco who had lost their mother and was on the verge of tears. His arms awkwardly hanging by his side, probably tired for how much he swung them.

“M’ fine.”

“If you were fine you’d of told me to go away by now, so no, your not fine. Wanna talk bout it?” You said, looking up at the archer, your voice dipping into a more worried tone, one he was familiar with as he had found comfort in you a few times before, but never about anything serious.

“Nah. I tell ya and you’ll go away.” He hung his head, avoiding eye contact as you raised your hand, moving the greasy pieces of hair that covered his eyes out of the way, your hand lingering there for a second.

“Daryl, I’m not going anywhere.” You smiled at him, standing on your tiptoes and placing a small kiss on his cheek, his face turning red from his nose to the tips of his ears, something you found adorable. “Cmon, we can go somewhere else and talk about anything you want, is that ok?”

Daryl nodded as he let himself be dragged away, your hand lightly hovering over his own, leading him to your cell, a knowing glance being shot his way from Carol, Daryl only rolling his eyes in response.

The cell was cold but was made to look nice by you. There was a few blankets scattered around, one for Judith who you had been babysitting for Rick earlier on in the day.

“That boy still come in here?” Daryl asked, looking at the scattered Lego bricks that where discarded on the floor.

“Who Patrick?” You replied, bending down to try clean up the mess that had been left.

“Mhm.”

“Yeah, he’s a sweet kid. Him and Judith don’t get along though, always fighting with each other, even though one is a baby and the other is a literal teenager. But whatever.” You laughed, not missing the was Daryl looked at you, his eyes shining diamonds that were worth millions, you could easily get lost in them.

“ ‘s sweet what ya do fer’ them.” He muttered, locking eyes with you as you smiled softly at him. Taking the time to admire his features.

“Thanks.” You mumbled “tell me if you want me to stop ok?” You tilted your head at him, moving closer, his body not flinching away like it would normally do out of instinct, instead it leaned into your advance, embracing you in his arms as your lips connected, a kiss full of love and passion, maybe a little bit of lust, but no one acted on that, yet…

Even Daryl shocked himself with how quickly he melted into you, your hand snaking behind his head. “Why would I say that?” He asked, breaking the kiss, being greeted with your eyes looking back into his own.

“Can’t believe all the time we’ve waisted.” You laughed, remembering both of your stupidity to not just talk to each other.

“I’ll make up fer’ it”

“Told you I’m not going anywhere.” You grinned up at your archer, interlocking your fingers with him as you both admired you newborn girl, her eyes an exact replica of Daryl’s while her smile replicated your own.

“Shes beautiful, looks just like ya.” His smile could be seen from miles away, spreading up to his eyes and his nose scrunching.

“I love you.” You spoke lovingly, rocking your baby in your arms slowly, as if she could be broken with how delicate she was.

“I love ya too.”

[polyamorousmood]

Hi I need some advice.

So I identify as poly even tho ive never had a poly relationship before and made that very clear to my girlfriend before we started dating. She said she was fine with it, and that we could always discuss terms when I start to like another person. We've been dating for a year, and I'm starting to like one of our mutual friends. I was excited to tell my girlfriend, but when I did she freaked out about it and said she couldn't do it. Because she was freaking out, I said it was OK and agreed to be in a mono relationship (I often will say anything to get someone to calm down, and I know that's a flaw of mine which is why I was open about everything before anything was at stake). I don't think I am OK with it, but they way she spoke about it sounds like she won't be convinced either.

I feel like I was lied to? And now I'm in this situation I didn't want, but I don't want to break up with her because I do love her. Functionally our relationship is the same as it always was so maybe I can handle it, but I just don't understand why she would have such a negative reaction when she seemed completely OK with it at the beginning.

I mean... maybe she said it was okay when it wasn't for a similar reason you did? Because she wanted to make you happy more than she wanted to dig into the issue? While I understand this probably felt like a major gut-punch after you made a point to be open about it, it seems to me unfair you'd hold her to a higher standard than you're holding yourself now wrt voicing what you'd be okay with.

Anyway, TL;DR: I think y'all both need to "come to Jesus."

What do I mean by that.

You need the classic Uncle Iroh moment

And it really, really fucking sucks, but you both will have to consider if the life you want -- poly for you, monog for her -- is feasible with each other. I'm sorry, I know it hurts even to think about, but even if everything gets worked out, you will have to think about the possibility it won't first.

First, you're going to have to bring it up again, and explain its importance, and explain your confusion, and acknowledge this is clearly difficult for her. I think a strong possibility is that she's okay with you dating someone else, but not someone she knows. It being her friend may be the sticking point! I've found a lot of people don't consider that a possibility until they're confronted with it, and it drudges up a lot of bad feelings and anxieties that you "always really wanted them and not me," so that's worth investigating.

... Its also really possible she never gave it a ton of thought and assumed it was never really gonna happen🫤. Its also possible your timing was just shit in a way you're not mentioning (maybe didn't even think of!) like, if you mentioned it a week after y'all Had A Talk™️about her feeling really insecure lately, I can see how that could cause her some panic. You are just going to have to grit your teeth and talk🗣️. It is the ONLY path forward that has a chance of everyone feeling fulfilled. Which to me at least, makes it the only path forward, period ⏺️ It sucks. Its hard. You'd rather saw off your toes.

But here's the secret -> people regret more the things they didn't do than the things they did do. A life spent wondering is generally much harder than anything else.

So if after you talk to her, she does have a problem with polyamory, there are only a few options for how this shakes out:

You never get the polyamory. Either because you kept your mouth shut 🙊 or because you asked and it was clearly never going to be okay with her. You stay with her forever and cut off this desire of yours to make her happy. Most poly people find this a very constricted existence.

She consents to polyamory even though she doesn't like having to share you. You guys broker some sort of compromise. Maybe she comes around, but maybe its always a sore spot, and she always feels like she's settling for half a relationship.🌗

You break up💔. Maybe now, maybe after years of trying and failing to do one or both of the first two options.

That's all there is. There's room within those categories, of course, but every outcome is one of those three. Give each of them their fair consideration, because there are some major, long-term pros and cons with each of them, and you need to know what you're signing on for. Oh, and if you're not willing to talk about it? You're locking yourself into the first one. Maybe she's worth it to you, but if that's the choice you're making, you cannot hold that choice against her later, because she won't even have realized you made it if you don't talk about it.

And if you do broker some sort of deal, you better fasten your seatbelt. Because you will have to talk about things she's uncomfortable with very regularly. Accept that right the fuck now. You know its true. You know that even if she understands, there will be new situation after new situation you will have to go through together. And a lot of them will be hard on her. And it will be on your shoulders to see her through.

This is, without exaggeration on my part, one of the worst situations to be in ever. My heart goes out to you.💝 I hope from the depths of my soul there's some sort of misunderstanding that gets resolved without much drama, and you're all okay. I am also truly sorry if that sounded harsh, but I don't want you to waste your time looking for miracle fixes. Everything from this point on will be messy and labor-intensive, but I hope it can be a labor of love.

Wising you the strength to see yourself to a life you love 💙💖🖤

[mermaidfanficlibrary]

Hello I'm not sure if the request is open but may I please request for Silverwolf and Herta x ! GN reader jealousy headcanons?

Thank you!

Hello! My requests are open! And of course!! SOrry if Silverwolf Is OOC I have yet to meet her fully (other than the intro scene) in game.

Characters: Herta and Silverwolf

CW: Semi Yandere behavior (mainly because the i see the two characters don't understand how to deal with these emotions), but nothing to intense, breaches of privacy (not the readers)

Theme: Jealousy Headcannons

Reader: Gender Neutral

Premise: How Herta and Silverwolf deal with their jealousy of their crush talking to someone else who seems interested in their crush.

~🌺~HERTA~🌺~

Herta doesn't understand how she feels about you in the first place.

Emotional connects are foreign to her so having a crush and feeling the intense jealousy when someone else flirts with you is weird

She tries to do experiments and see what may be the causality of her feelings but it takes both Himiko and Asta to tell her how she's feeling

It's denial at first even with what Himiko and Asta had said, and it takes a while for her to accept she even has a crush on you

Jealousy is a whole other beast in itself that Herta has to deal with

She'll often demand you to her office to help her when she sees someone flirting or making advances toward you

If she can't and you're busy with something else, then she'll join you which is odd for anyone to see

Her excuse is that where your going is where she needs materials

When a person seems to persist you and trying to capture your heart, she'll just make them do menial and long tasks if they work at the space station

If its someone that she doesn't really have authority over, she'll just push you away, interrupting rudely saying you two have important work to do

If you do happen to come to her about her behavior, she just denies everything saying that you should focus on your work and commissions rather than talking to people

If you happen to catch her behavior, you'll tease her but to no avail of getting a visible reaction

On the inside though its a full blown panic of flustered feelings and a bit of guilt since she didn't intend to do most of her behaviors

If you don't catch on, Herta praises you're oblivious and that you are to ignorant for your own good

It's not like she's going to admit her feelings to you any time soon so it'll be a lot of avoiding people with her and helping Herta with her job

~🐇~SILVER WOLF~🐇~

Silver wolf is another person who isn't the kind of person to really understand emotional connections with people but seems to ask Kafka about it

When she realizes its a feeling of romance and jealousy she is one to ignore it

Silver wolf won't deny that she has these feelings directed at you, but she'll just not acknowledge them

However is someone seems to be getting to close to you, she'll make a note of it and try and occupy your time

She doesn't understand why she acts like this around you when she obviously is 'ignoring' her feelings for you

You often join Kafka and her on missions but you're on Silver Wolf's team and helping her hack things

Since you are always on the move with her, no one really gets a chance to flirt with you or make any advances

But when they do, Silver Wolf just glares at the person and makes them feel uncomfortable

Silver Wolf also hacks their phone and sort of see's what kind of person they are

She knows its wrong but its something she can't really help when it comes to you

Its really hard to tell she is actively jealous because she doesn't show visible emotion but if you come to her about her behavior she'll just say something about them being evil or her gut feelings having a bad vibe from them

If you somehow happen to connect the dots and tease her about it, she'll ignore you and continue with her work

She's just panicked you'll see her differently

If you don't catch on though then she is in utter relief

Silver wolf does try and hint about her jealousy but if you don't catch on then she doesn't really continue

She finds your ignorance to her feelings a bit annoying but she'll come around soon

[whisper-ofthe-heart]

I usually don't put my thoughts out too much outside of tags really but I feel a little ranty after seeing the reactions to jjk 261 so here we go. I'll just never understand why people are so afraid of feeling negative emotions. Like I get it they are negative emotions, but they are emotions we have and will feel and should feel. I love me a good fluffy series (see obsession with precure) but sometimes I want to feel more. I mean, even in cute kids shows they broach topics of anxiety, jealousy, loss, etc. It is a normal part of life and fiction is a safe place to explore those topics and feel those emotions. So jjk is a tragic series, I'm so in. Does it hurt? Of course! But that's the point!! I see so many people say it's bad writing, but how can it be bad writing if there are people being moved by it and feeling things because of it! I am literally never going to stop thinking about this series. So often I find a really good tragic series just to find it has horrible reviews because "bad things happened" like yes!!! That's the point!!! I hope that it's just people's gut reactions right now and when they think about it more they'll realize what it all means to the story. As much hate as I've seen, I've also seen some great analysis as well. I just think jjk became too popular and people started reading it because it's the "big" thing and not going into it prepared to tackle the themes that gege has never been anything but clear about imo. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's a flawless series that everyone has to like. It's totally fine to not like it, or tragedy in general, but you don't have to go so far as to write it off as bad just because it's tragic. It's a great series that means a lot to many people, it's maybe just not for everyone. Basically I'm just trying to say don't hate on or blame gege for writing a tragic story if you don't like tragedy, that just means it isn't meant for you!