#this is also why your documentation should be up to date and complete

[tanadrin]

seo should be a crime. minimum 20 years for this shit. i can't find anything on the internet anymore, and everything that does come up in search results is the same repetitive content-free bullshit that just repeats the search term in different ways. and it's directly proportional to the popularity/monetizability of the thing you're looking for information on. niche questions might still occasionally turn up useful results, but information, on, like, using a specific piece of software to build a website? nothing but garbage as far as the eye can see.

[zentraex]

Summary: You made a lot mistakes in your new job, but do you regret them? Nope, not a bit. But who can blame you for it? If you wouldn't have done them, you never would have met this pretty boy.

Remember: German Grammar is a lot different then English grammar. I apologize for any mistakes.

Pairing: Francis Mosses (doppelganger) x gn! Reader

(A/N): I usually write for mha, but this men dominates my fyp on TikTok and I can't stop grinning like an idiot about all this fanarts. My men is just too attractive for his own good. Nevertheless, Tumblr has too few fanfictions for him, so I had to do it myself. Still, I am not that proud about how it turned out. It certainly sounded better in my head, but I don't care. One shitty fanficion is better than none.

Art by @asteriscks on TikTok

This game is not mine, but Ignacio Alvarado. I also used phrases from the game.

Mistakes? Yes, but no regrets.

It's been a week since you started working for D.D.D as a doorman. 

You can remember your first day so well, it could have been yesterday. 

Well... probably because your life is constantly at stake. 

_

It started with a mistake that you ended up here. It was completely unexpected since you always made sure, that you sent your rent to the right account. 

Surely no one can blame you for a small typo, right?

Well, your landlord, who kept pounding on your door until you woke up, surely did.

"What?" you asked, annoyed, as you opened the door.

"When do you plan to finally pay your bill? The date has already been overdue for two weeks!" he complains. 

What?

"Sorry, but I've already transferred my money to you."

"Well, I didn't get anything. Do you still have the receipt for the transfer?"

"No..."

You already knew what that meant: double payment.

"Look, today, I'll transfer it to your account again, okay? If it doesn't work this time, it's not my fault."

You were about to close the door, but your landlord had other plans when he held the door open with his foot.

 "No no no. You will give me the money now. I don’t trust you. Why would you transfer it to me today, when it should have happened two weeks ago. You will give it to me now."

Your eyes widened. 

Now?

"But I don't have that much money in my hand? Who's got that?"

"Then I'll have to kick you out for now. But don't worry, no one is going to buy an apartment here anytime soon, so you can move right back in as soon as you give me the money."

Staring stunned at his smiling face you could have sworn you were about to hit him. 

"The keys?" 

With watery eyes, you grabbed your keys, placed them in his outstretched hand, and frowned.

What kind of person had such sharp fingernails as he does?  

You were sure that he could definitely have stabbed someone with them.

Thank God, I didn't hit him. 

"When do you plan to give me the money? I've heard that all banks closed today. Some kind of holiday among them, I've heard."

What!?

How were you going to get through the day today? You intentionally left everything in your apartment since you were so sure that you could have given the money to your landlord in a matter of minutes. 

"You’re telling me this now!?"

"If you had paid, you wouldn’t need to know." 

That filthy bastard.

No matter how angry you were at that moment, your panic was overweighting.  

What were you going to do now? 

Shit.

"Man, I really wouldn't want to be in your situation...", the landlord murmured.

Fuck the nails- This guy deserves a punch.

Just as you raised your fist, he speaks again.

"But maybe we can agree on something.

Then you stopped. 

"The D.D.D., which is responsible for the safety of all residents in this area, is looking for doormans. Ours has recently...quitted, which is why we are urgently looking for one. They pay three times the amount of your rent in a week. If you take the job, I can overlook your sloppiness this time."

Three times your rent? In a week? And for what? To sit there and check a few documents. You'd be crazy not to take the offer! 

"Okay. I'll do it. Where can I apply?"

"Don't worry, I'll sort it out for you. Tomorrow, you can start”

_

Looking back, it should have been clear to you that something was wrong. Starting with the sudden his sudden threat, the fingernails and this stupid story about the holiday of the banks. 

Maybe it was just because you were too panicked at that moment to think rationally.

But let’s be true here: when are you thinking rationally? If you did, you would certainly have quitted after your first day.

_

"Welcome and congratulations on your new job."

After watching the short video, a man in the yellow suit came to your window. You are so shocked that you can’t even answer.

I'm going to die today!

After all, you know it yourself: you're too gullible for the job. There's no chance you'll unmask a doppelganger who copies someone well.

“As you could see on the introductory film, your job is to verify the entry of the neighbors of your building. Each day there will be a list of individuals who will request entry to the building. It is possible that there are individuals who request entry and aren’t on the list. In which case you will mark on the checklist that they are not on the list and proceed to question the individual. Also, you must verify that the ID and the entry reqest are correct and have the respective D.D.D. logo. Don’t forget to also check the expiration on the IDs. Remember it’s Febuary 1955."

Your gaze wanders to the note that was stuck to the wall. 

Arnold Schmicht F02 – 01

Anastacha Mikaelys F02 – 04

Robertsky Peachman F01 – 02

Steven Rudboys F03 – 03 

Mia Stone F03 – 01

Rafttellyn Cappuccin F03 – 04

Admittedly, you don't know any of your neighbors, neither by character nor really by sight. You were never the type to care about your neighbors. 

"I wish you good luck."

C’mon Reader, be like Henry…

But better.

The first inhabitant was Mia Stone and you already started to sweat.

"Good evening."

Was she real? Was she a doppelganger? 

With shaky hands, you reached for her ID and entry pass, only to find that everything was fine. She was also on today's list and her appearance doesn't show any deviations either, right?

Just to be sure, you looked into the folder that described her appearance: 

Long hair

Small round nose

She has freckles

...

...

...

Freckles?

Your eyes wandered again to the woman in front of you, who was waiting patiently behind the window. 

You narrowed your eyes a little and leaned forward to get a better view of her.

No matter how long you stared at her, you didn't see them, her freckles. 

"You look different...", you murmur after a while.

"What's wrong with my appearance? I think everything is fine with my appearance."

Her photo on her ID and Entry Pass both have no freckles. 

Perhaps a mistake on the part of the D.D.D.? 

You're about to press the green button, but then you see her grinning slightly out of the corner of your eye. 

Shit. 

She almost had you. You're really not made for this job.

Your hand slammed hard against the red button, causing the siren to blare and the metal window to crash down. 

"3312," you murmur to yourself.

"You have contacted the D.D.D.. A group of agents has been sent to your building. Please wait for the cleaning protocol to run."

Cleaning protocol? 

What happens to those who were cleaned? They certainly won't be killed, will they? 

What if they will?

What if your judgment was wrong?

What if...

Your thoughts were interrupted as the siren fell silent and the metal window went up, only to reveal the yellow man.

"Cleaning protocol completed. You can continue your job."

It took a while until someone finally came again. 

This time, your heart was pounding faster. Significantly faster. And this time, you can't even say for sure that it's all out of fear. 

Milkman...

You definitely can't deny it: he's probably one of the most attractive men you've ever seen. 

You don't even have to look at today's checklist to tell he's not on it – a face like his would have caught your eye right away. 

"Francis Mosses, huh?" you murmured to yourself as you looked at his ID. "You're not on today's list."

"I’m not on today’s list because I had to leave due to an emergency."

Long nose

Thin chin

Tired eyes

Short hair

Wears a hat

It all fit. The only thing left now was a call. 

Just as you began to spin the wheel of the phone, he said, "You're new here, aren't you? I've never seen you here before."

"Yes, today is my first day."

"Must be hard, huh? I've heard that more and more doppelgangers are appearing and they are becoming more and more error-free. It would be a shame if such a pretty face as yours were to disappear forever."

Your cheeks turn red and suddenly you feel shyer than you actually are.

"B-But your job has to be hard as well. I didn't think that being a milkman would rob you so much sleep."

Francis smiles a little. So little that you almost didn't see it at all.

"It's not. I just stay up for a very long time. If you like, I can bring you some milk sometime. It's refreshing, calms the nerves."

You bite your lip slightly when you have to refrain from a question.

What milk do you mean exactly?

My God, why were you just such a sucker for handsome men?

"I'd be delighted, Francis."

You talked to him for a while and you quickly forgot that you were actually going to call someone. 

"I'd like to talk to you more, but I don't want to stop you from your work. I'll see you tomorrow, right, Reader?"

And you quickly forgot that you never told him your name. 

You pressed the green button.

_

"Shh," whispered the voice of Francis next to your ear. 

It was your third day, your third time to change shift.

Well, it usually would have been.

Your vision and mouth were blocked by the bloody hands of the doppelganger who claimed to be Francis.

He had killed the doorman, that should have taken over your shift.

You had to admit, that you were more than inconsiderate. After all, you didn't ask for his entry pass, nor the reason why he wasn't on today's list.  

"I'll let you go now, yeah? No wrong move, okay?"

He laughed softly as he released his hands from you and turned your chair, so you were facing him. 

"We don't want to hurt you, do we, Reader?"

The sentence shouldn't have given you hope, because after all, you were more than sure that you were going to die one way or another.

Maybe you should have shown a little resistance. For your honor, but....

Oh?

He is so close to you that you can practically feel his body heat. Or was it your own? Your face, despite your situation, was burning. 

Even though he said he was letting you go, his hands ran over your body and you couldn't deny that it did something to you. 

Were you so shameful?

"Actually, I wanted to wait, but I couldn't take it anymore.  I've been patient long enough, haven't I? It was so much work for me, to let you get this job."

You didn't know what to say. Honestly, you didn't know if you would even be able to answer him. 

His breath touched your throat as he spoke, "I think I deserve this, don't I? What do you say, Reader? Do I deserve my reward?”

If you were going to die anyway, why not enjoy the last few minutes?

Regardless of whether he was a doppelganger, he had lived up to his title as "Mlikman" that night.

_

"You killed the real Francis Mosses?" you asked the next day. 

Francis grins, almost so much so that his real form was threatening to show itself.

"Yes, of course. What would have happened if he had come before me? You would have sent the D.D.D. after me."

Well, he had a point, huh?

No matter how wrong it was, you were glad it didn't come to that. 

You didn't know the real Francis Mosses. That's probably why his death was so insignificant to you.

"Have you killed more people?"

"Just more doppelgangers you let through."

Your eyes widened. 

You were so sure you caught them all. The false success was the reason why you didn't quit…well, it was one of the reasons.

"How many have I let through?"

Francis just continues to wear his smirk as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.

"Don't rack your pretty head over it, okay?"

You just nod, smiling.

"Are you going to kill others...?

You don't know why you added your next question. Probably because you wanted to feel special. 

"Would you kill for me?"

"Hooooonn"

When you turn your gaze to his face, two white pupils stared at you and his grin is inhumanly wide and black. 

You don't know if it's joyful or sadistic, but it definitely made you feel special.

_

Looking back, you made more than a few mistakes. 

But honestly? 

You don't regret a single one of them. After all, all of them have led to an all-too-familiar knock on your window.

When you look up, he waves, the milkman. 

[livingsurreal]

More thoughts and theories about our favorite Necromancer

My darlings, I have too many thoughts and my obsession is running wild. (How I missed you, hyperfocus). If you have read my last meta post about our Emmrich, here it is: First Meta Post

That is not a required read however. I am still wondering why anyone is reading my word vomit U_U

Anyway, I love reading other peoples theories, so please, send me yours. <3 And a lot of thanks and love for all you darlings who make this fandom such a beautiful and nice place. Especially to @jaal-ama-daravv - who makes the most beautiful videos, and writes such wonderful character studies.

Warning, from here on there will be spoilers as well as mentions of sex. If you don't want to read about any of that, do not read the rest.

Also pictures and way too many words. This is a ten page word document, save yourself while you can. I tend to go off on a tangent once I start writing. I am also well aware that not everyone will agree. This is just my personal read on Emmrich.

Now, after my first essay I have some more thoughts on Emmrich and Rook and specifically their intimate relationship.

Emmrich is such an interesting and baffling contradiction. On the one hand he is confident, self-assured, all manners and poise. He is smart, and he knows it. He has special gifts, and he knows it.  He is confident without being proud. He likes to teach others without being arrogant. He still likes to learn about new things and is, as far as I’ve seen, never judgmental about different beliefs and ways of life. (Unless someone treats him with disdain or bully him)

He is a man who is confident speaking of his thoughts and feelings and fears. How he just casually drops his thanatophobia is just astonishing. He is honest and open-minded in the best ways.

And then there is the other side of him. The wet kitten side of him. As open and honest as he is about his emotions, when we get to the meat of it, to the scary bit, the real feely bit, he locks up completely. As long as it is surface level (or he can pretend its surface level), everything is up for discussion. But once we reach deeper and touch *love* he gets so scared and refuses to admit and commit to his feelings. And as much *death* scares him, love scares him more.

So how does that influence his intimate relationship with Rook?

According to the banter with Lace “everyone knows about it”. He was rather surprised by that.

That tells us two things:

They were trying to be sneaky or at least keep their private business private.

They failed, massively.

Add to that Laces comment about them moving rather fast (when, where? I would have loved to have seen that. Comments like that just give me the feeling that we should have had some more cutscenes after the dinner date, to show us those two besotted fools).

But back to them moving rather fast. I would guess that they both did a lot of gazing lovingly at each other, blushing, spacing out while watching their darling, stollen kisses in the hallway when they thought no one was watching, stuff like that. Just being to besotted fools.

But moving fast usually includes sex. Lots of needy, sweaty sex. The inability to keep their hands of each other.

That moves us to the question of the day – did they have sex before their coffin time?

Let’s look at what we know about Emmrich. Emmrich is no virgin. That man has experience. He had past lovers. But what he tells us at that sweet diner date – “nothing serious for years.” We know not much else besides his crush on a boy in his youth and his fling with the Orlesian Art Lady. He is not someone to kiss and tell and that is appreciated. That man has class, and we love him for it.

So - nothing SERIOUS for years. If he hadn’t had ANY relationships in the past years, he would have said so. But what he says is that he did, in fact, have UNSERIOUS relationships in the last few years.

I would read that to be somewhere along the “fwb, lovers, affairs, paramours, companions, a fling, a little romance” line. Something not purely, but mainly physically driven. Someone you like and respect, you can go out and have a good time with, have lots of amazing sex with (b/c he is a living being and has his needs). Spending time with people he liked, was sexually attracted too, but nothing as serious as love. A physical relationship. A little thrill, some fluttering, but never that deep.

Not to say that those situationships would not have been romantic. He is (buried under all that resignation) a deeply romantic man. I am pretty sure he went on nice romantic dates with his previous paramours too. That this is something he just enjoys too much. Treating a companion with some quality time, not just in, but also out of the bedroom.

But after he’d given up on his dreams, he did not have any notion of those flings being more than a “enjoy the moment”. There was never the expectation of deeper feelings, beyond friendship, attraction and/or respect. All those romantic gestures were nothing more than a little bit of “play pretend”. To give himself the illusion of true romance, just for a little time.

Take the fact that you can go a “everything you do is creepy but I still flirt with you and I want you to throw me over that tombstone” and his comment on “the attraction of the forbidden”? This is not a relationship born of mutual respect and deeper feelings but out of purely physical attraction. And he is OK with that.

I want to repeat – Emmrich is very much okay with a casual, sexual affair. He does not require love to have a relationship with someone.

And then think about that Johanna calls Rook specifically his “paramour”. Which is a lover, especially an illicit one. This word was very specifically chosen by Johanna. For various reasons, I would think.

For one, I do believe that it is a dig at his dreams of the eternal flame. It’s a dig at him, that Rook is not his love, but his paramour. A lover for a time. To be parted from soon enough. B/c that silly dream of his, as if it ever would become reality.

Second, I think it is a comment on the way his relationships often went, especially in the past years. Those unserious flings of his. Never to amount to anything substantial.

Did he try to have something serious in the past? Oh yes, for sure. But it never worked out. Then he gave up his dream and just let himself have a good time with people he found to be nice and attractive.

To pick up my point of self-sabotage from my last meta post – I’ve come to a point where I believe Emmrich is a kind of chaser. I know someone like that and it’s so fucking tragic.

Emmrich feels deeply and strongly. When he falls in love with someone it’s a lot of emotion. But at that point it’s all dream, want, wish. As soon as someone returns these feelings - those dreams, wants and wishes become reality. And reality is scary. In this wishful dream about the eternal flame, there is no fear. No fights. No loss. But that is not reality. As soon as it becomes reality, he gets scared. Before, his feelings were no threat, because you can’t lose what you don’t have. Once those feelings are returned, there is a clear possibility of losing, of being lost, of being left behind.

Emmrich is not a chaser because he enjoys the hunt. He is a chaser because being loved by someone is scary. So damn scary. So, he starts to pick fights and is looking for excuses. From being the chaser, he becomes the chased. He is hunted by his fears, and his fight or flight instincts go all flight.

After years of this cycle he gives up. Resigns himself to flings and little romances without even thinking of more. Or so he thinks. Dreams like that don’t die, they just get buried.

And I’d think that there was not many, even of those short term flings, lately. His life revolves around work and Manfred.

Now remember he comments on Rook “showing unexpected interest in a new companion”.

First of all – unexpected.

They are a daring adventurer. He thinks of himself clearly as the more boring one, compared to Rook. He never expected any of those flirts. But he is clearly flattered.

Second – companion.

That was such a weird way of saying “hey do you like me?”. This whole “companion” thing does not scream “I have FEELZ for you/you have FEELZ for me” but rather, “I think you might want to spend some quality time with me”.

The possible answers - dashing good looks, kindness, his way of words.

He feels he is fortunate if Rook thinks him good looking. Hallo, Mr. Professor, sir… Have you looked in the mirror lately? Consider that he is meticulously grooming himself, takes his exercises daily in the morning. That man does not like himself aging. I think it is a reminder of how his pending death is a step closer every day. But it shows, to him, that his efforts of taking care of himself are not in vain. Or maybe it shows him that his age does not matter. Rook finds him attractive despite (or because) of his physical age.

Rooks comment on his very charming way of putting things makes him hope his years behind the lectern have proved useful. Hey *years* behind the lectern. Again, this is a way of saying his age is NOT a problem but a benefit.

If Rook remarks his kindness, he answers “you humble me”. It’s the one answer that does not touch his age/experience/looks. It’s a remark on an innate character trait he possesses. Kindness. His whole demeanor in this option shows he is actually touched. And maybe a bit baffled. He did not expect this, at all. Its like he sees his kindness not as an attractive trait. Which he should. He is nice without TM and its sexy as hell.

The next part is his statement “If your attentions go beyond charming flattery… that would interest me, indeed”. This reads to me not necessarily as “do you have feelings for me” but as “do you just enjoy the flirting, or do you want to do more than flirting?”

And oh boy, does he want to do more than flirting. I want to repeat my earlier statement – this man has given up on love. But some little fling with an exiting young adventure who was constantly, awkwardly flirting with him? Hell, yeah.

(I want to remind you that we were able to have mutually enjoyed flirts with Dorian as fem!Inky. You can flirt with someone and still never want to fuck them. And you are also perfectly able to want more than flirting without having deeper feelings. Like sweet, dump Shepaloo said it so eloquently “Lets bang, okay?”)

Again, I want to pick up a point of my last post, that this is all surface level thoughts. I do believe that their emotional attraction and depth of feelings go deeper, from the start. But how often does it take quite a bit of time to realize one’s own feelings. Especially this wonderful, silly man whose modus operandi is running away.

Now, an interested Rook can answer in an open “lets see where this goes” way. Mirroring his rather open idea of a little romance, a fling, some quality time. Something that does not have to end in an eternal flame, but a simple enjoyment and exploration of the moment.

Rook can also reply with a “I think they do.” – What Rook actually says is “I think they already…”

And conveniently Rooks answer here is cut short by our sweet boy Manfred. They get cut short, no matter what answer you choose, but in this specific case, I am convinced this was very much on purpose. What would the whole sentence have been?

“I think they already go way beyond flattery.” (?!?) Something along those lines. But that goes into danger zone. WAY into danger zone.

If Rook had finished that sentence, at that point in their budding romance? It would have been over before is all started. Too much, too soon. Too much for him, period.

Now we have the hard lock – their sweet romantic moment in the Memorial Gardens. And he is smitten. He fell hook, line, and sinker for his own play pretend. Just a little romance, but that man is falling, fast. (Not that he would admit that to himself).

A beautiful date, all arranged by Emmrich, to spend time with Rook. Because a couple should have a quite moment to get to know each other. I mean there were menu cards with gilded edges, ffs. And, oh yes, they were “lets dig into the feelings”, he said couple. He is falling, falling, falling fast. But it still hasn’t hit him, how deep he has fallen for his darling Rook. Poor Emmrich.

Then a fight, where we really see the wet kitten side of him for the first time. A little wet, feral kitten, hissing at the hand that’s trying to feed it.

Emmrich is lashing out for no good reason (or no good reason for anyone but himself). There is no real confidence there but a desperate act of pretending. An iron (slipping) grip, trying to control himself and the narrative. Shoulders squared, back straight, an arrogant stance, raised chin, turned half-away from Rook, and a condescending way of talking to Rook.

Like I said in my last post – he is working his way up to breaking up with them. And he tells himself it’s like ripping off a bandaid. Be strong and confident and say what you have to say, and they will see the wisdom of that.

It’s only that, they don’t. Because there IS NO wisdom in what he is doing right now. They don’t take his bullshit but throw it back at him. They don’t accept his mock excuses.

Look at him here, how he looks down ON them. I can’t recall any other time he looks down on Rook, despite him being a tall king.

Especially the route where Rook throws it in his face that he DOES in fact love them. Speak what he can’t even think.

“I can’t… At my…”

“I can’t love you. At my age…” Why not? Does he not deserve love, just because he is a bit older? It’s just heartbreaking how he views himself.

And again, he lashes out.

“I am perfectly serious.” So is Rook.

“One of us has to pay attention to these things.” As if Rook is not paying attention. They got to the meat and bones of his problem in just a few seconds.

No matter what route you go here, the gist is the same. He is scared shitless, treats Rook like a child, and goes on how the is the only one thinking the important thoughts.

When Rook in reality way ahead of him. They thought about it and came to the conclusion that being with Emmrich is a really good idea.

Rook knew they were falling for someone older than them. (Even if that age difference is just a decade, with a mid-40s Rook.) They knew it, and still went with it. They are not a child who is too inexperienced and stupid to make decisions about their (love) life.

But now, here, at this moment? Emmrich treats them with disdain. Like a silly little person, who does not think things through. He holds himself above them. Physically and mentally. They are too young, he knows better.

And not once has he done that before. He always treated them as an equal. He follows them into the most dangerous situations ffs. He trusts them with his life in a fight against would-be gods.

All that fear and anger at himself that reaches a new high get redirected at Rook.

The next day they are off to Tearstone Island. That night must have been hell. For both of them. But its going to get much much worse.

In any case, Emmrich seems to have come to some conclusion or realization, because on that island? He apologizes.

They both did react very emotionally, but he came at Rook with superiority and, to a certain degree, dishonesty. All fueled by his fear. So that he is the one to take the first step and apologize to Rook instead of doubling down? An important step. As I said in my last post – he NEEDED to be called out. A sweet and nice counterargument would not have had the impact Rooks raw an honest emotion hat on him.

Emmrich “Rook? Darling? I wanted to say-“

Rook “Yeah, about that argument…”

Emmrich “(Sighs) It’s no time to apologize, is it?”

And here we have the most heartbreaking line, in hindsight. “We’ll talk back home, Emmrich. I promise.”

(Narrator: but they would, in fact, not talk about it back home. Because someone would not go home.)

One fight and weeks of horror later, they find themselves in a private crypt and finally they do more than share a kiss.

Now - to the point I originally wanted to explore with this post – is this in fact their first time? (I am sorry, but my brain is a circle and nothing makes sense)

Let’s look at what evidence we have from the cut-scene.

Rook did not know he is an early riser.

That leaves two possibilities:

They never had sex up until that point.

They did have sex, but never spent the night together.

Now what does that mean?

This depends a lot on your personal Rook and how they feel about sex in general. If Rook wants to wait, or is not ready, he will absolutely accept and respect that.

But for the sake of this analysis lets go with the idea that Rook is not opposed to sex at an earlier date.

They never slept with each other

Why? He clearly was not opposed to casual relationships in the past. What would hold him back now? Especially if you recall Laces comment about them moving fast. Why not jump into the bedroom?

Now my first crack theory is that they get interrupted, like every time. (Rook interrupted The Dread Wolf, and now he cursed them to always be interrupted when they want to have some private time)

But now, in all seriousness, maybe it’s just that part of him DOES realize that this goes beyond a very unserious relationship. That they both have deeper feelings, that spark of something greater, something beautiful.

So, he holds back. He does not give his all. He is charming, he is flirty, he takes Rook on dates. But it’s all very technical. Very performative. Yes, he is a very romantic man, yes he enjoys those moments. But there is always a feeling of control.

Those moments when you see him let go a bit (that kiss beneath the eternal lovers, “I think, sometimes you indulge me”), are so beautiful and you glimpse a bit of the man behind those walls.

He has a tell, you see. (I am telling you about it further down)

But generally, he feels very much in control of himself. And to lie with Rook? To go all the way? Too dangerous. Who knows what happens in that sweet moment after la petit mort? What secrets would his lips spill?

2. They slept together, but did not spent the night together.

They do have sex, but sleep alone in their own beds. Casual sex is fine, but to fall asleep in each other’s arms? Too much. Too real. Sex okay, but sleepy post coitus cuddly? Woah, slow down your horses.

So, they have sex, preferably in Rooks bed. First, does he even have a bed? Second, it’s way easier to leave Rooks bed after the act, than throwing them out afterwards.

Oh, and how many reasons he has. Rook needs their uninterrupted sleep; they are stressed and must have proper rest. He wants to get some reading done before he retires. He needs to look after Manfred.

Oh, he is a bad liar, for sure. He is lying more to himself than to Rook. I would think that (if this is the build up to their fight) Rook realizes that he is giving poor excuses.

And the sex itself? A technical 10/10. He knows his anatomy, after all. But his heart is not really in it. He can’t allow himself to. He holds back, keeps a tight lid on his emotions. They both are well spent afterwards, but like so much else, it’s performative. Technically very well executed, but rarely do you see HIM, the real him, behind all that performance. Whenever something slips through, he reels back and closes up.

And then we are in that crypt. Rook was gone for weeks. The last thing they said that night before were words of anger. Rook called him out on his feelings and from that point on there was no possible way of lying to himself anymore. Those feelings were there. They were real. Rooks feelings were real. And those weeks spent in desperation, trying to  get them back? Those walls came crashing down.

His true face, when all the walls are gone? You see that face when Rook leads him to the coffin. There is no pretense anymore. No performance. Just him, and all his love for Rook. The amount of emotion the animation team packed into those short moments in the cutscene? Mindblowing. Who ever crafted that expression on his face? They are the GOAT. I watch this part of that scene on repeat, and it never gets old.

So, I told you about how he has a tell, yes? Okay, two actually, but we all know surprised pikachu Emmrich. In that last scene it is resolved in the most beautiful way.

He looks down, when something touches him deeply, when he goes into his feels.

A few (way to many) examples:

And the worst wet kitten look? After the fight, when Rook leaves.

Its a look of shame. Of hurt. This man is hurting so badly.

Now here at the end we have that moment when Rook leads him to the coffin. His face turns down, like before. But here he looks up at Rook. He does not turn his eyes away but looks directly at them. Ahhh my heart.

Now, think about the fact that ROOK is leading in that moment?

In those moments where Rook leads or startles him (or is simply annoying enough so that the truth slips out), you see the most emotion from him.

Rooks flirting startles him, and he has a pikachu face reaction every time.

Their first kiss? Rook leans against the monument, and leans up, telling him without words that NOW is the time for a kiss. How can he not go for a second kiss?

That moment when Rook calls Manfred “our son”? He very conveniently ignores the word “OUR” and goes in defense mode over the word “son”. But called out on his feelings for Manfred? How can he deny them? He has tears in his voice when he says how he would not exchange this moment for anything? A real, deep emotion.

In their fight Emmrich is again all technical, all performance, so logical (or what he sells himself as logic). But Rook wrestles that moment from him and takes lead, calls him out on his bullshit.

In the crypt Rook pulls him up into a kiss and then leads him to the coffin, guiding him, taking him with them.

Most of the other times he takes the lead, very much in control. But the most emotions you get from him, are those times Rooks leads, when he lets go of this tight control over himself, or he is startled in to a reaction. For all the age difference that is played up in their relationship, in the important moments Rook is the one who guides. And he follows where they lead.

Those little moans he makes? If they did have sex before, I bet he did not make those sounds then. Where they did have some incredible sex, now they are making love. Open, vulnerable. He gives in.

And then they fall asleep together. Skin to skin, arms and legs intertwined. Their hands caressing, no sound but that of their heartbeats and soft breaths. Pure and utter contentment. In that moment nothing exists but them. Can you imagine that moment he woke up? The amount of emotions he must have felt then? This need to speak those little words? Those huge little words. He does not say them, not yet. But he is almost ready.  

Finally, they stand there, on the battlefield of Elgar’nans madness. And he tells Rook. The last wall falls. Gives the most precious thing he can give to anyone.

“I love you.”

[missadangel]

The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x OC)

All Chapters List

VII. The Wedding (+18, Smut, MDNI)

 Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia… 

Where you are Gaius, I am Gaia…

Domus Severiana…

The night before the wedding.

It had been five days since the fight, during which time General Acacius had paid Domus Severiana a visit on two occasions. The exact date of the wedding had also been agreed upon. Your dowry had been arranged by your half-brothers and was in alignment with the General's – your future husband – expectations. Tomorrow promises to be an eventful day in the Domus Severiana, as weddings are usually held in the home of the bride's family according to Roman tradition. After the wedding ceremony, you and your husband would be conveyed to your new home, the General's villa, in a carriage. Fortunately, you were not a stranger to there. You had already spent some time there, although not as his slave this time, but as his wife. You were pleased to be leaving this fascinating place, particularly as you did not intend to spend any time in the same place as Caracalla and Julia. However, with Geta, was a different story. Perhaps he was the only one you would miss, as you felt a certain bond with him. He seemed to feel similarly towards you, but it was challenging to discern his feelings. It seemed like a puzzle that could never be solved. 

On that night, in your room in the imperial chamber, on your big bed, you were sitting with Decima, chatting, perhaps for the last time. The slave girl, Geta's favourite, had brought you a bucket of verbena for your bridal wreath-like crown. She had offered to make you the crown you wanted, but you were having trouble deciding on the colour and were seeking their input. 

"Perhaps pink would be a good choice?" Decima picked up the pink verbena.

"I'm not sure," you replied, shaking your head doubtfully. "It might not match the colour of the veil.”

"Since your dress will be white, maybe it should be a lighter colour," the other girl suggested, taking a lighter pink from the bucket.

You picked up a white one from the bucket and placed it on your saffron-coloured veil, which was laid at the end of the bed. "I think white is a simple and pure choice. So, the green leaves will complete it."

"Ah, just like a bride, a wonderful choice, my lady."

"Yes, it's beautiful." Decima agreed.

Before you could say anything, Geta burst into the room with a big smile on his face. The girls stood up and greeted him.

"You seem really focused on those flowers, like it's a matter of life and death. Would you also help me with some strategic documents? It's so hard to focus on them," he said sarcastically.

"Isn't that your responsibility? After all, you're the emperor," you teased him.

"Oh, but it's so boring," he replied with a frown.

When he jumped on the bed, next to you, you were startled but not by the shaking he caused.  "Hmm, white, nice." He was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, supporting his head, picked up a white verbena with his other hand.

"What are you doing? I have a wedding tomorrow and I need to get some sleep."

"Oh, right, that's why I came here." He said, pointing at you.

"What do you mean?”

Geta turned his head towards the door an yelled. “Come on in!” 

A young man, who appeared to be a slave, entered the room and approached you, his movements slightly hesitant.

You looked at Geta in shock. "What is he doing here?"

But you were not alone, Decima and the other girl were also quite surprised.

“There won't be time before the wedding.” He said arrogantly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Undress.” Geta ordered him.

“What! No, don't!” You shouted at the slave. He grabbed the end of his tunic, unsure of what to do.

"I'm doing you a favour. Do you really want to ruin everything on your wedding night?"

"A favour?" Is that what you consider to be a favour?” You spoke a little louder than you intended to.

However, Geta didn't seem to care. "I'm not suggesting you sleep with him, but it might be helpful to study the man's body, especially the important parts." He pointed to the young man's pelvis.

You jumped up from the bed, feeling embarrassed, your cheeks burning.

"Thanks, but I don't think that's necessary."

Geta sat up in bed, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Are you sure? Look at you, your cheeks are all red. You'll certainly faint when you see the General Acacius naked." 

His loud, ringing laugh was the final straw that broke your patience.

"I'm not a virgin!" you exclaimed.

Everyone in the room looked at you in surprise. You felt extremely embarrassed. You turned your back towards them, feeling ashamed to look at their faces.

Geta clapped his hands. "Well, well, well, my sister is not so innocent after all." He approached you. ”Caracalla will be disappointed though. He was thinking of giving you to the Temple of Vesta to become a virgin priestess." He laughed.

You turned towards him. “What?"

"To piss off the General, that's for sure. Anyway, you're not a virgin, so it's not an issue.”

"I don't think that's funny at all,” you said angrily.

"It seems there's more between you and the General than I thought.” Suddenly his face was serious. “Since you trusted him enough to dare to give yourself to him before marriage.”

You averted your gaze from him, not because you felt guilty, but because you didn't want to discuss such intimate matter with him.

He really didn't like your serious face, especially when you looked away from him. He leaned towards you with a playful smile. "But if you'd like to observe anyway, I mean, before the wedding, my body is in great shape. Not as muscular as his, but still."

'Can you please leave my room?' You pointed at the door.

'I understand your pre-wedding nerves and I forgive you, otherwise you can’t treat me like this,' he said smugly. 

“You started it," you murmured.

He seemed relieved. “Have a good night, sister," he giggled, and walked out of the room, his slave following behind him.

Once they were gone, you threw yourself on your bed and sighed deeply. “I hate him.”

Decima and the slave girl were giggling. 

Decima sat on the bed next to you. “I was thinking of talking to you about the wedding night, but I don't think I need to. I mean, since you're not,” she said, her voice trembling. She must be remembering painful memories from that house.

“Decima, I'm so sorry,” you voice cracked.

“No, you don't have to feel sorry for me, please. But can you tell me exactly how far you and the General have gone?" She gave you a suggestive look.

“Well, it happened once, you know.” Your cheeks were starting to flush again.

“So you're still inexperienced, my lady.”

The slave girl opened her eyes wide as you both turned your heads towards her. “I apologise, I was out of line, my lady.”

“How do you mean?”

“She's right,” Decima said. “There is so much for you to learn.”

So it turns out they were right – everything had happened so quickly that night. And you still dreaded the wedding night like a virgin. The last time you remember, he was stopping himself from going any further and was really patient and gentle with you. But you were still feeling like a virgin, not physically for sure, yet emotionally, novice to all the pleasures that the male and female body can experience. Thinking all of these, a new concern arose inside you, the inability to satisfy your husband's expectations as his wife. Like that's all you need, really.

For the rest of your last night in the palace, you were relaxing in the marble tub, breathing in the steamy air mixed with the floral aroma, while Decima's gentle fingers rub your legs. After a few embarrassing conversations, you savoured your last night as unmarried woman, since, from tomorrow you will be a married one. 

As the memories of your time with Marcus came to mind, you wondered when you first fell in love with him. When did it happen? Was it when you first saw him and felt a peculiar attraction? Or was it the first time he touched you? Each time he was kind to you? Perhaps it was when he smiled warmly at you? Or the first time he kissed you? You smiled to yourself. It seemed a little silly to choose between your beautiful memories as if you were entering them in a competition.

You were certain from the first moment you saw Marcus, you loved him. And it grew more and more every day. You suddenly realised how much you had missed him. The last time you saw him, he was talking to Geta and Caracalla about marriage as if it were a strategic issue, and you just watched them. You hadn't even had a chance to talk properly or touch him. 

Once you had finished your bath, you lay down on your bed. Your eyes lingering on your veil, which lay over the armchair next to the small table. As the sweet breeze from the window caressed your hair, you closed your eyes and dreamed of tomorrow.

Wedding day…

In the early hours of the morning, the streets of Rome were filled with a festive atmosphere. A group of people gathered around the Palatine Hill for the wedding of General Acacius and Princess Aurelia, eager to witness the momentous occasion. They patiently awaited the arrival of the carriage carrying the General to the wedding venue, hoping to catch a glimpse of him or the imperial family. 

You opened your eyes slowly and became aware of a number of voices. The first thing you heard was a sound that could be described as shouting. This was followed by a hum, which seemed to be the sound of a crowd, the swallows flying past the window, and then a knock on the door. As you gradually sat up in bed and yawned, Decima entered the room, accompanied by three slave girls carrying your wedding dress. 

“What's all that noise?” you asked Decima as you got out of bed. “Emperor Geta and Caracalla have had an argument I guess.” The slave girls put your dress on the bed.

You looked at her, surprised. “What's the argument about?”

“I'm not sure, but it's nothing to do with you or the wedding. Don't worry.”

“Then you must know why.” You said, eyeing the other girls, noticed that Geta's slave wasn't with them.

“I wasn't going to tell you not to worry about it on your wedding day, but I think Emperor Caracalla took an interest in Emperor Geta's favorite slave and it didn't go down well, so there was tension.” She was helping you undress.

“Is that why she didn't come with you?”

“Would you like me to ask her to come over?” she asked as she helped you into your long white silk tunic.

“No, I don't need to, but I hope she's all right.”

Decima rolled her eyes. “Perhaps you should stop worrying about someone else. Today is an important day for you.” She smiled softly. "You're the bride, remember?"

You giggled and nodded. She was right, but you couldn't help thinking that something might happen to the slave girl because of those two. 

With the assistance of the slave girls, you were nearing the end of your dressing process when Geta arrived a short while later.

He clapped his hands. “Sister, you look gorgeous.” Then he crossed his arms and inhaled deeply. “General Acacius. That lucky bast-.”

“Brother." You silenced him and frowned.

He pursed his lips, suppressing his laughter.

“Why didn't your slave girl come to help me?”

“Because she was busy dressing me,” he pointed to the white toga with gold embroidery he was wearing. 

She arrived at the door a moment later, holding your floral wedding crown. 

“Look, here she is. Come, girl quick!” Geta beckoned her over. “General is about to arrive and it's time to put the veil on.”

“Your highness, first we must put on the belt,” said the slave girl. 

Two of the other girls placed a thin belt around your waist, where the Heracles knot would be tied, and tied it one time. Geta's slave was combing your hair at the same while pinning a few to the sides with hairpins.

“Tie plenty of knots.” Geta grinned. 

You rolled your eyes. “Don't be childish.”

“Your Majesty, if the groom can't untie the knot-“

“I know, it's bad luck,” he grinned again. He was giggling like a child as he tied a few knots in the belt around your waist.

“That's enough!” You pushed his hand away. 

“Looks like the Glorious General Acacius will be trying to undo the knots until morning.” His laughter echoed around the room, and everyone could hardly keep themselves from laughing. You were almost one of them, biting your lip hard not to. 

Before long, you heard footsteps and one of the slaves came into the room, out of breath. “Your Majesty, my lady, General Acacius’ carriage has arrived.”

You felt a sudden rush of butterflies in your stomach when you heard his name. 

“Time for the veil,” Geta ordered the slaves. They draped the long saffron-coloured veil over your head. Decima wrapped the end of the long veil around your arm to keep it from getting tangled around your feet. You grabbed the part hanging from your arm with your hand. The yellowish colour of the veil made it a little difficult for you to see clearly. It was like looking at the sun at sunset, with everything bathed in a yellow glow. You bowed your head a little as Geta's slave placed the flower crown on your head. 

“Wonderful!” Geta smiled and held out his arm to you. “Shall we?” You took a last glance at your room, hesitating for a moment before taking his arm. Decima looked a little sad, so you gestured for her to embrace you, the veil preventing you from moving freely. She came and hugged you, and you felt a little uneasy about leaving her there.

“You know, it's not too late. If you're unsure about... I’ll tell him.”

You gave Geta an aggressive look, despite the veil, you were sure he saw it.

Then you took his arm in a hurry. “We can go now.”

“Impatient, sister?”

You rolled your eyes and felt your long eyelashes brush against the fabric of the veil.

“After all, you’re old. Around twenty-six? I think you're fortunate to have found someone to marry.” He smirked.

"Ha-ha. How funny.”

As you left your chambers, you heard the murmurs of guests coming from the main courtyard. You walked out with short, confident steps. As you descended the stairs, you saw Caracalla standing there. Geta turned his head away from him. Were they sulking at each other?

Caracalla eyed you up and down. “I liked the tempting idea of keeping the General waiting, but the guests will gossip about us,” he chastised you with a laugh. When he held out his arm to you, you looked at him in surprise. “How dare you keep my arm waiting?”

Geta could joke, but Caracalla could do more than that. He could joke and at the same time manage to chastise and sarcasm. You took his arm, despite your initial hesitation. As you walked between the two of them, you looked at their faces out of the corner of your eye. It was a strange but nice feeling.

Soon you found yourself in the main courtyard where you were greeted with applause. It seemed that the guests recognized you from a distance thanks to your yellowish veil. Your eyes searched the crowd for Marcus and were momentarily distracted by the flowers hanging from the upper balcony. But you continued your search with determination.

“Where is mother?” Geta asked.

“I sent her away,” Caracalla snapped.

Geta looked at him angrily. “Are you mad?”

“Stay out of my business.”

“Stop it,” you hissed. “Don't ruin my wedding.”

Geta leaned towards him, whispering behind your back. “This isn't over, brother.”

Whatever had happened between them and wherever Julia had gone, you really didn't care right now. You were too focused on Marcus, who was waiting for you at the altar. He looked magnificent in his white toga virilis, (special toga worn by the groom). Your consciousness was clouded by the exhilaration you felt, and the voices of Geta and Caracalla sounded like grunts to you.

The only thing you really saw was Marcus' face, it filled your vision, for a moment you could think of nothing else. His eyes were a buttery, burning dark brown color, his stunning face was almost severe with the depth of his emotions.  And then, when he meets your gaze, a breathtaking smile appears on his handsome face. 

You felt like you might have fallen from the exhilaration and excitement if it hadn't been for your half-brothers holding your arms. Fortunately, the seemingly endless march was over and there you were, right next to Marcus, your General. 

Flamen Dialis (the high priest of Jupiter) began his speech to preside over the wedding. 

“My emperors, and honored guests, welcome to the wedding of General Marcus Justus Acacius and our Princess Septimia Aurelia Marciana.”

With soft applause from the guests, the slaves brought in a lamb adorned with flowers, its bleating echoing throughout the courtyard.

"Great Juno, Goddess of marriage and fertility, accept this gift of life from the great house of Emperor Publius Septimius Geta and Emperor Lucius Septimius Bassianus Caracalla.”

You chose not to look as the lamb was sacrificed, glad that the veil blocked your view. With a gesture from the high priest, Marcus held out his hand and asked Geta and Caracalla the usual question. 

“My Emperors, do you promise to give me this woman, your sister, to be my wife?"

Geta and Caracalla glanced at each other, and then back at Marcus. 

“I promise.”

“Promise.”

They vowed.

You didn't realize you were crying until your tears soaked the fabric of your veil. You blinked, trying to see Marcus' face more clearly. Geta and Caracalla placed your thin hand in Marcus' large, warm palm. As soon as you touched his skin, that familiar feeling blessed you. He stroked all your fingers with his thumb, as if to calm you. The High Priest seemed satisfied and turned to Marcus. "General Marcus Acacius, she is yours.” He announced.

Geta and Caracalla took a few steps back, you took a few steps towards Marcus. He gently lifted the veil from your face and placed it over your head. You smiled with joy as you could see his gorgeous face more clearly. It seemed unbelievable, but this amazing man was now yours and you were his. Marcus took your hand gently and placed the golden wedding band on your fourth finger. You playfully caressed the ring -with the symbol of clasped hands on it- with your pinky finger. Here's one more thing to get used to.

“Seal it with a kiss.” The high priest gave consent.

Marcus gently grasped your shoulders, bent his head towards you and kissed you tenderly, adoringly. In that moment, you forgot everything else: the time, the place, the guests, and the reason you were there. All you remembered was that he loved you, that he wanted you, and that you were his.

“Let's witness the contract!” The high priest raised his arms and the guests applauded.

Marcus and you both broke the kiss with great effort, you even heard someone clearing their throat. You were almost sure it was Geta. Marcus pulled himself back to look at you, seemed amused, a smirk appeared on his face. There were giggles and murmurs coming from the audience, but you refused to look away from his face to see them.

The sweet evening breeze wafted gently around the Domus Severiana, carrying with it the sounds of a small crowd enjoying a wedding banquet under the soft lights. Marcus was conversing with Octavius in the vicinity of the fountain, while you were sitting in the fancy seat that had been reserved for you and Marcus, next to the imperial seats of Geta and Caracalla. Your half-brothers barely spoke to each other during the banquet, their mother Julia was nowhere to be seen, but nobody seemed to care. Macrinus, however, was looking at you out of the corner of his eye when he was talking to Geta. When he finished talking to him, he came over and smiled at you.

"My lady, I would like to congratulate you."

"Thank you, sir."

"I wish you and General Acacius every happiness."

You looked away. "I see Sir Gaius was not able to attend." 

A thoughtful expression crossed Macrinus' face as he realized the implication in your voice. 

"He asked me to convey his sincerest congratulations to you.”

"I'm not sure, I don't think he's sincere.”

"I beg your pardon, my lady?" He leaned a little closer

"I wonder if you were aware of his plans?" You shook the glass in your hand, your eyes fixated on the movement of the wine in it.

Macrinus cast a quick glance at his fellow emperors and leaned towards you.

“Can you please explain how you mean?”

“He told me a little about the plan for the throne, almost in a threatening tone,” you replied. Then you looked at him in the eye. ‘You didn't know?’

Marcus saw you two looking at each other with serious faces, so he frowned and ended his conversation with Octavius. Macrinus' face was hard to read. Whatever he was feeling, he was hiding it well. You were determined to solve him though.

"Whatever Sir Gaius has said, my lady, I can have no such thoughts,  I am at the service of your brothers, and of you too, surely.”

“There is no need for that, Sir Macrinus.” You were startled by Marcus's harsh voice. He stepped between the two of you, protectively, right in front of you, his shadow falling across your face.

“As her husband, I am the one who must look after my wife, Lady Aurelia, and I am grateful for your services thus far.” Marcus spoke with a tone that brooked no argument.

Macrinus smiled. “Of course, General Acacius, congratulations again, now, if you excuse me.” He turned and strode to the other side of the hall.

When Marcus turned back to you, he looked concerned. He sat down beside you and leaned in. “Did he say something to bother you?”

You shook your head. “No, he just congratulated me.”

Marcus raised an eyebrow.

“It's nothing to worry about, really,” you smiled at him.

He put his arm around you, "We'll talk about this later." His free hand went straight for the food on the table. “Did you eat enough?” He stuffed a grape into your mouth. “You'll need your strength for tonight.” 

You almost choked on the grape as he smiled crookedly. 

Geta's loud laughter startled you. When you looked at him, his favourite slave was feeding him some food too. Caracalla was also very busy romantically with his own slave. When you turned to Marcus, he was staring at you under his eyebrows. There was desire in those brown eyes that melted like butter and made your throat go dry. 

Then Marcus's face turned serious as their laughter continued. He turned his head and looked at your emperor half-brothers. “I think that's enough of the banquet.” He looked back at you with a soft expression this time. “Is my beautiful bride ready to go to her husband's house?” He gripped your hand tightly.

'Husband' word made you giggle. “I am very ready, General.”

He smiled and kissed the top of your hand then stood up, pulling you with him.

“It seems our happy couple have decided to take their leave,” Geta noticed you two. 

“With your permission, your highness,” Marcus nodded.

The slow music picked up to match the pace of the ceremony, which marked the bride's departure to her new home. In keeping with tradition, Marcus grabbed you by the legs, threw you over his shoulder, and ran across the courtyard towards the gate, carrying you outside. The guests watched this cheerful moment with laughter and applause.

While Marcus was carrying you over his shoulder, you tried to look around, but all you could see was your veil sweeping the floor. As he stepped out of the main gate, you were met with a surprise: applause and the sound of your own name being called. Marcus set you down. The crowd chanted both your names. They threw you rose petals, and you smiled and greeted them. The guests inside, Geta and Caracalla, had followed you, also greeted them. One of the slaves handed Geta a bowl full of red rose petals, which he proceeded to shower over your head. His earlier mood had been far more cheerful, but now he was serious. It was as if he was sad, but it was hard to be sure. Caracalla folded his arms, not bothering to touch the rose petals. You were taken off guard when Geta suddenly hugged you. You felt Marcus tense next to you. Geta looked at Marcus with an air of command. “Take good care of my sister, Acacius. Or there will be consequences.”

It was common knowledge that he was an emperor who liked to issue threats and give orders, and Marcus was aware of this, but no one was used to seeing him do it to protect someone else. It was clear that there had always been tension between them, but there was something different in the way they looked at each other, something you could hardly make sense of. 

Marcus grabbed your hand and looked at Geta with a sharp gaze. “Lady Aurelia is now my wife and under my care, she will be well looked after, you can be sure of that, your highness.”

Geta pursed his lips as if thinking about something. “Well then, you can go,’ he said then, pointing to the carriage.

“Be gentle with her, won't you?” Caracalla laughed hard.

Of course, shameless jokes were part of the tradition and your brothers were the experts at it.

Geta smirked. “Good luck,” he said, gesturing with his hands to his own waist, alluding to the belt around yours. 

You rolled your eyes at him and got into the carriage with Marcus's help. He lifted your veil as you got in and helped you to sit down. He called over Octavius and had a quick word with him. You were curious about what they were talking about, but you couldn't hear it clearly over the music and the crowd. When Octavius left, he came into the carriage and sat down beside you. He ordered the coachman to get the horses moving.

As the carriage moved, he held your hand and placed it in his. He traced the outline of the ring on your finger with his thumb. Then he lifted your hand and kissed each finger. You heard another carriage moving just behind yours. You turned your head and lifted the curtain with your free hand to look out.

“Another carriage?”

“I believe it's an imperial dowry,” he said sarcastically.

You looked at him, confused.

“Your brothers are sending you lots of clothes and jewellery,” he explained.

“Must be Geta.” You thought so.

“They have no boundaries when it comes to spending coins.”

You chose to remain silent because he was right.

“Still,” he grasped your chin gently and turned your face towards him. “My beautiful wife deserves it all.”

Before you could react, he kissed you passionately. His arms wrapped around your waist, and you felt his impatience. You inhaled his masculine scent and felt a moistness between your legs. Gods, why does this road never seem to end? You thought.

Villa…

By the time the two carriages drew close to the General's villa, the sun had finished its work for the day and was beginning to set. As he left, the sky darkened, and the moon rose soon after. The moon was bright and illuminated the night, almost as bright as the sun, especially tonight.

When the carriage finally arrived, Marcus stepped down and offered you his hand. You took his hand with a smile, but you had forgotten the veil you had wrapped around your arm and you stumbled on the steps. Marcus wrapped his arms around you and put you down effortlessly. Like you were a little girl. 

Octavius had already got out of the other carriage and came over to greet you. You turned your head to look at the other carriage. You were astounded to see Decima standing there, smiling. 

“But how?” You looked at her in surprise.

"Your wedding present, part of your dowry." Marcus explained. “I asked Emperor Geta to give her to your service, and he agreed.”

“Marcus, I don't know what to say. I'm so grateful.” 

He smiled in response, then took your hand and led you to the courtyard entrance of the villa. “Now we have to complete the ceremony. Are you ready?”

The ritual of entering your new home was a Roman custom that was not very common in Egypt. As a result, you were not familiar with this part of the ceremony, yet Geta's slave had informed you of a few details.

“Please guide me.”

He gave a nod. When you got to the door, all the General's slaves were waiting for you there. Two slaves were holding torches at the front. As you passed through, you noticed Norell and Tullia and wanted to give them a hug, but they were looking at you a little solemnly. Right, the ritual wasn't over yet. They both lifted you up and carried you over the threshold. You walked to the centre of the courtyard and realised how much you missed this place. It looked a little different than usual with the lighting and decorations, but you were home.

Marcus stood right in front of you. Norell handed him lucerna (an oil lamp), Tullia a jug with water in it, the symbol of life.  You took them from his hands carefully and, with his gesture, you raised them up for all to see. The slaves applauded softly, and you smiled. Then Norell and Tullia took them back from you. Marcus approached you and whispered, 'You know what to say here, don't you?’

You gave a little nod. It was a sentence you'd run through in your mind a few times already.

“Ubi tu Marcus ego Marca, where you are Marcus, I am Marca.”

He responded “Ubi tu Marca, ego Marcus, where you are Marca, I am Marcus.”

And the contract was fully signed, you were officially his wife. 

“Welcome home, my wife Aurelia,” he said with a warm smile.

It was like music to your ears to hear your own name come out of his mouth with the word ‘wife’.

"Welcome, Domina,” the slaves greeted you.

You smiled at them, and as Norell smiled back at you, you wanted to go over to talk to her, but Marcus' expression almost changed with the emotions he was feeling. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to the stairs leading to his room, or rather your room now. You could feel his impatience in the way he touched you. Your heart thudded audibly against your ribs, and your breath seemed to get stuck in your throat. 

He closed the door firmly behind you two. You could feel his eyes on you, but you refused to look at him. What was this sudden nervousness all about? You looked at his bed and saw the rose petals that had been sprinkled on it. Then, he rushed forward to snatch you into his arms, taking your breath away. You giggled, “Did you miss me?”

What a silly question, Marcus thought.

"Yes," he growled, and pulled you hard against him. "I can't think of nothing but you. Dreaming this moment was the only thing that kept me patient." Marcus's strong arms were wrapped around your waist, pressing himself against you. When he felt you tense under your dress, he reacted with a slight frown. 

“Why are you so tense? You made it through the first time well.” He brushed his lips against yours. “If I remember correctly, you liked my kiss?” His kiss was forceful, deep, overwhelming. He had got that wrong, he realized dazedly. He was the one who liked your kiss.  More than liked.  He loved it. He was radiating a strange intensity today. You could feel it under his lips; he was screaming his longing to you through them.

He slid his hand to your thigh. “I remember you liked my touch too,” now he was touching you where you wanted him most. You bit your lip. He grinned as he felt the moisture forming beneath the fabric. “I see you want me, but I want to know what makes you nervous.”

You swallowed hard, unsure of how to tell him how you felt. 

“Are you afraid of me?” His voice was so soft.

You met his eyes. “No Marcus, I'm - I'm afraid what if I cannot satisfy you or please you as your wife.”

Marcus's smile was broad, cheerful. You blinked your eyes as you looked at him in confusion 

“You will learn, my love.”

He ran his fingers up your arms, caressing your shoulders, your collarbone, your chin, “We’ll both be learning each other’s likes,” then took your face in his hands, "Each time,” he smirked, his gaze dropping to your lips. He kissed your lips softly. His mouth was hot and sweet on your own.

Marcus broke the kiss to remove the veil from your head. It was getting in the way of his arms around you and feeling your skin. He placed it on the edge of the bed, a little hastily. When he came back, he took your hands and put them on his shoulders, just above the shawl on his white toga.“Will you do as my wife?”

“Sure.” You took hold of Marcus's plain white shawl and slowly removed it from his shoulder, then waist. He now wears only his plain white tunic. You placed it on the bed neatly. You gasped as his hands wrapped around you from behind. He kissed the nape of your neck gently but needily.

“Turn around to look at me.”

You did as he said. His hands went to your belt, his smile fading as he realised the knots. It was exactly the reaction you thought he'd have.

“Why did you tie so many knots?”

“Apologies.” You bit your lower lip.

"He did this, didn't he?" He narrowed his eyes. He grunted when he saw the answer in your expression. "He always manages to annoy me.”

Marcus untied one of the knots patiently, but there seemed to be more. While he was untying it, your eyes drifted across the room to Marcus' leather armour. Next to it was his sword and then you noticed the item that you thought might be useful. Marcus' pugio (a dagger used by Roman soldiers as a sidearm).

“This belt represents virginity, right?”

Marcus answered without looking at you, determined to untie the knots. “Yes?” Suddenly, he stopped and looked up. He met your gaze, following the path of your eyes. He turned his head in that direction.

“So I'm not a virgin after all. I mean…"

He laughed when he realised the implication in your voice. “I'm all ears.”

“Can't you just cut it off?”

“Gods must have blessed me with an intelligent wife.”

He took his pugio, unsheathed it and came over to you. “Stay still.”

You nodded and swallowed, wondering why this turned you on so much. Marcus grabbed your endlessly knotted belt with one hand and pulled, almost staggering you. With the other hand, holding his pugio, he cut your belt in one swift motion. You were startled when you felt the sharp surface of the dagger just slightly under the fabric. But it was over in a flash.

Marcus threw the belt on the floor. "There's nothing holding us back now.” He hurriedly put the pugio back in its sheath. And in the blink of an eye, you were in his arms again. You trembled with ecstasy in the dress which freed from the tightness provided by the belt. Marcus's impatient hands grasped the fabric of the dress at your shoulders, perhaps a little roughly, and skilfully undressed you. The dress fell to the floor, pooling around your feet.

“Undress me,” he demanded. Unlike his impatient hands, yours were slow, yet eager. You grasped the hem of Marcus' tunic in your clumsy hands, lifted it up and pulled it over his head, allowing it to fall to the floor.

As you looked at his bare chest, your eyes drifted to where he was last injured, and you looked at him as you stroked it with your hand. "It's not healed yet. I'll have to make some ointment.”

He grabbed you around the waist and pulled you hard against him.

“Do that later, now focus on the other thing I need you to heal.”

You looked away, and before you could turn your chin, he grabbed it in his hand.

“Wrap your arms around me,” he commanded.

You obey, feeling him between your thighs, growing, making you swallow loudly.

“Run your fingers through my hair,” he said, looking into your eyes. You already liked touching his hair so much, was he reading your mind? Marcus's breathing grew heavier as you ran your fingers through his curly, dark, partly gray hair. He grabbed your hips, lifting you slightly onto his lap. His strength was a huge turn on for you, feeling the way he was easily able to pick you up. Walking with your legs wrapped around his waist he carries you there and lifting you off of him. He laid you down on the bed carefully and then watched you. You felt the soft touch of rose petals against your skin yet didn’t care. You literally felt his eyes roaming over, from you hips up to your waist up to your breasts, and your cheeks surely turned red than they already were. But you didn't feel exposed. In a way it felt liberating to let him see you because you didn't have the urge to hide yourself from him anymore. The eager expression on his face made you feel beautiful and wanted. And then he kissed your neck, which felt even better, and you turned your head to the side to offer him more skin to kiss. He swirled his tongue on the skin behind your ear, causing you to moan. He continued working across your neck with his tongue, then pecked your earlobe and then moved to your mouth. He crushed his lips to yours. He felt your hands as you press against his back, clasping him to yourself. You ran your hands over his broad shoulders as he kissing you with unbridled passion, his lips moving over yours with a hunger you had never experienced before. Marcus was already healed when he felt your fingers caressing his wounds. The feel of your bare skin against his is beyond compare. It is absolutely glorious.

The moment he forcefully parts both of your legs with his knee, you look up at him wide-eyed. His face is intense, and you know soon he’ll take you. You don’t want him to stop, but can’t help to tense. You fight against his hold but it is as though you're fighting a marble statue.

Marcus looks down at you sternly. His voice becomes commanding. 

“Aurelia, if you could just relax, we've done it before, this time it won't hurt,” He whispers into your ear. You did what he said and let him take you. Your immobile under his control, extremely turned on. 

“I wish to please you,” he says, his hot breath caresses you belly. He slowly runs his hand downwards, reaching that intimate, soaked place between your legs that he has touched before. A satisfied groan builds in his throat. “Hmm. So responsive.”

A deft finger circles a sensitive spot gently and you bit your lip hard, feels good. You feel the need to writhe in response, but his weight is holding you down, unyielding.

He enters you with two fingers and his hand is so big that each time his finger is in, his palm presses your most sensitive spot. He curls his finger, massaging another extremely sensitive spot inside you. And finally, he puts his mouth close to that area and touches it with his tongue, while he caresses your breasts with both hands then pushing his tongue back in against your clit, then sucks, consuming you, relentlessly. You can’t suppress your whimper. And groaning loudly. He looks up at you. He was determined to watch you come and the closer you got to climax the heavier your breathing became. 

"Marcus," you moaned again. “P-please.”

He smirked watched your face contort and kept at it, licking and sucking, devouring you while your legs started to shake beneath you. Soon you reached the climax and felt as if you had ascended to the sky. Marcus kissed you repeatedly around your belly, proud of the feeling he had caused. He had a smile of triumph on his face, but now his body had become more impatient. 

“Now wrap your legs around me,” he was stroking your legs. You did as he said, already craving him more than you ever wanted him, your body squirming to be his. In a swift movement he grabs your hips and pulls you down and his full length is inside you. You moan and your breath hits against his chest. Your nails dig into the back of his neck, breathing harshly. You didn't expect it to happen so quickly, but this time it didn't hurt at all, maybe because it was too wet, dripping wet.

You weren’t with him for this part, but he was acutely aware of you every shaky breath. Somehow, despite his pleasure, he found himself moderating his thrusts without too much effort. True, he had to squeeze his eyes shut to concentrate.  The feel of you around him was like nothing else.  It was strange how aware he felt of the clench of your fingers at his back as he luxuriated in the tight, silky clasp of you. How often he felt compelled to press his lips to yours. 

When he felt his brow begin to bead with sweat, he groaned and told himself his exertions had gone on long enough. He needed to withdraw.  You don’t need to, a voice whispered in his head that sounded very like his own. She’s your wife, yours. He looked at your face to confirm, determined not to lose his self-control and cause you pain. Fortunately, he saw that you were far from suffering. He smiled confidently, thinking how beautiful you looked right now. He could see it in your face, so when he hardened his movements a little, he realized that you were moaning with pleasure. A smile of triumph spread across Marcus' face as you screamed his name over and over. His thrusts are becoming quicker now, but still not too quickly, and you know you will climax simultaneously.

You close your eyes and moan as you feel yourself begin the ascent to your orgasm. He is moaning as well, then he pushes himself as deeply into you as he can, triggering his climax. As you feel him throb inside you, filling you completely with his seed, you come hard, your moan becomes a howl, and Marcus presses his mouth to yours, causing your body to twist into lovely shivers.

He slides his tongue into your mouth and strokes yours with his, extending both your climaxes. Moaning into each other's mouths, you don't want this feeling to end, and you're certain he feels the same. As you ease down from your respective highs, Marcus breaks your kiss and looks admiringly into your half-closed eyes and smiles through heavy breathing.

"I can't believe how stunning, amazing you are," he whispered, running his fingers through your hair. “I love you Aurelia, my beautiful wife.” 

You smiled at his kind words.

“I love you too, Marcus.”

Both of you naked in our post-coital bliss, a military man buried inside you, the General, now your husband. You think it was the most romantic wedding night you could imagine. Not because he's so handsome and charming despite his age. But because he's your Marcus, he's perfect.

When he finally pulls out, it hurts, but only emotionally. You already miss the fiery connection between your bodies. He kisses you again and pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arm around you, as if he's trying to stop you from running away. You smile, he must have remembered what you did last time. He places his chin on the top of your head, your nose close enough to touch his neck, your nose caressing his jugular vein. 

The warm breeze whispers through the window, blowing out the oil lamp and allowing the bright moonlight to bathe your naked bodies in its glow. Once the sounds of love have ceased, you find yourself surrounded by the gentle chirping of crickets, the soft howl of an owl, and the calming rhythm of Marcus' breathing. After a while, your eyelids gently close, and you drift off to sleep, caged and imprisoned by his arms.

The Dream...

The moonlight was all you could see, blocking out everything else. The soft wind caresses your skin, causing you to shiver, but you are not cold. You ask yourself why you are shivering. Your feet, your hands – where were they? Everything was blurred. You opened and closed your eyes, your heart racing in your chest. But why? You open and close your eyes once more. Your hands are there, but your feet are off the ground.  You open and close your eyes once more. This time, the light dims, and you can see around you. You are relieved. You thought you were blind a moment ago.

But the relief doesn't last long because you remember where you are. You were here before. This meadow, this wind, this sky. "Save him." And that chilling whisper. You flinch and gasp as the owner of the voice suddenly appears. The goddess appears in front of you, her white skin glimmering like diamonds. This time, she doesn't resemble you. She draws closer, and when you recognize her face, you fall to your knees. This time, she allows you to feel the grass and flowers. Is it because she pity you?

'Mother?' your voice trembles. You've never seen her before, only her statue, in the tomb in the Domus Severiana. She is beautiful, in a way that is difficult to describe.

'Save him,' the same tone, with a hint of urgency and a touch of pleading.

You get up on your knees and look at her, ‘I did it, Mother, I saved him.’ 

Unsatisfied with your answer, she turns away, strolling in a circle among the grass. You're certain she'll pick another herb to give to you like she did last time. But no, she grabbed something from the grass, and when she lifted it up you jumped backwards for your dear life. 

‘Don't be afraid, child,’ she whispered. 

The viper she held in her hand was torn into many pieces and spread out through the grass, then into the soil. What? Why? How? You felt like you were losing your mind. 'He will need you, Rome will need you,’ she whispered again, ringing, echoing in your ears. Rome? Him? This overwhelming, all-consuming dream didn't allow you to speak or think clearly. He was your sole focus, and you made the conscious decision to ask questions for him, even if it meant losing your mind.

'Save him from what, mother? Please…” your voice cracked, you were panting, heavily breathing.

Without batting an eyelash, she grabbed your hands and lifted you up on your feet. Her eyes were fixed on yours, as if she could read your mind.

"You already know.” Her voice sharp. 

This time, she turned around, and her hair danced in the warm wind. You shook your head in defiance, demanding to know more. She reads your mind again. "Think, Aurelia."

In a gust of wind, the grass and flowers on the ground were uprooted, plucked, and gathered around your mother's silhouette. It was incredible, overwhelming, and it consumed all of your senses. You rushed towards her, but she had already disappeared among them as if caught in a whirlwind. Your feet were no longer on the meadow with green grass and flowers. Instead, you were on a dirt field, and you felt abandoned. No more moonlight, no more wind, only dirt ground. No more her. With her voice echoing in your ears for the last time, crushing your soul, blowing your mind last time, your dream was about to end.

'Think.'

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[lia-linny]

summary: How do you get a guys who always fails to pass his final exams? Quite simply, you promise him a date.

genre: fluff, highschool au

words: 4.3k

Ms. yln and Mr. Yang, please stay to see me after class." yn heard her professor say as she carefully filed her documents from the previous lesson in her folder and put it in her school bag. After she had also packed her pencils, she made her way to the desk as instructed by her professor. With her head bowed, she made her way through the rows, between her talking and packing classmates, some of whom smiled at her in a friendly manner.

When she came to a halt in front of her professor, her gaze fell directly on Yang Jeongin, who was leaning casually against the wall next to the desk in his stylish baggy clothes. His penetrating gaze was on her and she nervously clutched her books, which she had pressed to her chest, while she now looked at her professor, who was still sorting through his papers. When he had carefully organized them, he turned to his two waiting students and smiled kindly as he pulled two sheets of paper from his folder.

Ah, so there was her essay, yn realized. She had wondered why she had come away empty-handed when the professor had handed out the corrected texts.

"Once again, you have delivered an outstanding text, ms yln. It really was one of the best texts I have ever read on the subject at school. Your formulations and observations are truly remarkable." smiling, yn looked at the red score in the top right-hand corner of her text, which read 100/100.

But she didn't have time to thank her professor for his kind words, as he immediately went to return Jeongin's text as well. Yn caught a glimpse of the pages covered with corrections written in red pen and could clearly make out the score on his paper, 18/100. yn felt her heart grow heavy with pity and looked down at the floor in shame.

"Mr. Yang you have to do better or you won't pass your final exams. I've heard that you don't exactly excel in other subjects with my colleagues either. You have potential but you have to work harder." There was a brief, awkward silence, but when Jeongin looked up from his paper, neither the poor grade nor the professor's words seemed to bother him much. He merely shrugged his shoulders and buried his hands deep in his trouser pockets. Her professor sighed, but continued.

"That's why I think it would be a good idea for you to seek tutoring. If you want to pass your exams, you need to study and since it seems to me that you share almost all your classes with ms. Yln, it would be an incredible opportunity for you to get tutoring from her. So if ms. yln would be so kind and give up her time for you, you should definitely take this chance!" With that, he ended his little lecture and shooed them both out of his classroom with a curt wave of his hand and a smile.

They stood awkwardly next to each other outside the door, not quite sure what or who should say something, until yn decided to break the silence.

"I can tutor you if you want, but you can find someone more qualified if you prefer..." Jeongin laughed and tapped his index finger on the essay with her books pressed against her chest, as if that was proof enough that she was probably good enough for the job.

"Is Friday a good fit for you?" he asked and yn just nodded dumbly, not sure how to deal with the situation.

"Great. I'll come to your place after school." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I'm looking forward to seeing you." He winked goodbye to her and walked to his popular group of friends, who were standing just a few meters away from them in the corridor crowded with students, leaving a red-faced yn behind. Why did such a banal gesture from him and the thought of the upcoming tutoring sessions have such an impact on her that even after her next lesson had already started and she was hunched over her papers in the classroom, she could still feel her pulse racing?

It wasn't completely absurd. Jeongin was popular, cool and casual. But even though he was one of the good-looking boys that everyone adored, he was always nice and helpful and yn liked that, whether she wanted to admit it or not. He sometimes acted like he was the coolest, but the next moment he tripped over his own feet and was restlessly teased by his friends and that made him likeable.

Yn ran her hands through her hair with a sigh and buried her face in her hands. Oh God, it was all such a huge cliche. She couldn't help but rool her eyes at herself. The girl that had never even given a second thought to a boy and then the 'one' came along. She should be concentrating on the lesson that had already started rather than thinking about boys. It was a waste of time to deal with such things. Her focus, especially now that she was in her final year, should be on grades and studying. Not some fictional romance.

But there was something about Jeongin that had piqued yn's interest for years. All the years they had been going to school together, attending classes together and occasionally having short conversations on the bus or in the hallway, yn had always wished she could be closer with him. She couldn't quite define it, but Jeongin had an attractive aura in her eyes. Yn shook her head and mentally returned to the lesson. Even though she already had a nervous feeling in her stomach when she thought about friday. Maybe because she had a feeling that Jeongin might be the person who could destroy her efforts to always put learning above personal relationships.

~☆~

Nervously, yn plucked at her skirt, which she thought was a little too short, and brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her and Jeongin's last lesson for Friday had just ended. She didn't know what to expect. She had talked to Jeongin again and again over the week. Small talk that left her nervous and embarrassed, already regretting what she had just said, or rather stuttered.

She stuffed all the books and documents she wanted to go through with Jeongin into her school bag and stowed the rest in her locker. She was just about to close the locker door when she felt an arm around her shoulders. Startled, her head whirled around and she stared directly into Jeongin's amused face.

"Hey beautiful, ready to try and teach me something?" He laughed and Yn felt her cheeks glow with heat as he grinned mischievously at her. One of his friends, Hyunjin, with whom Yn was attending her art class, shouted across the corridor to her

"Good luck! We've all given up and come to the conclusion that Jeongin has the IQ of a walnut." Together with one of hid friends, Minho, he laughed at the comparison.

"I'll do my best." So she just mumbled, smiled shyly at him and buried her nose in her book as if it were her shield. She made her way to the bus stop, as she did every day. Jeongin walked silently beside her and used the pleasant silence to look at yn. At first she didn't notice that he was staring, but when she caught his gaze in the corner of her eye, she became even more nervous.

When the two of them arrived, the bus was already waiting and yn climbed through the door as usual to drop into one of the seats at the back. Jeongin sat down in the empty seat next to her. He casually let his backpack slide to the floor and made himself comfortable in his seat. Yn couldn't turn away from him. Why did he have to look so cool as he absently ran his fingers through his hair and now looked over at her. Their eyes crossed... but the moment was ruined by the bus driving off, which left Yn unmoved and equally unimpressed, but caused Jeongin to lose his balance from the unexpected jolt and hit his head on the seat in front of him. Gone was the cool and casual aura that had just surrounded him. After yn made sure that he was okay and that he had no injuries other than to his ego, she let out a snort.

"Just for your information, that looked incredible ridiculous." She laughed and even though his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful her laugh was, how her eyes lit up or her dimples showed.

"Hey, I never look ridiculous!" He said, playfully offended, and poked her in the side. From that moment on, the slight tension that had previously lingered in the air fell away from them completely. They chatted casually for the rest of the bus ride and when they finally arrived at Yn's house, they were greeted by her mother.

Yn showed Jeongin the way to her room. After opening the door, she put her backpack down next to her desk. Meanwhile, Jeongin inspected her room a little more closely. It was nicely furnished but kept relatively simple. No colors that stood out, no cluttered shelves, nothing that really seemed to say 'this is yn's room'. He couldn't deduce any hobbies or favorite music from her room and that puzzled him.

"What hobbies do you have?" he asked out of nowhere. Yn turned to him and looked at him in surprise.

"Why do you ask?" She laughed and Jeongin sat down on her bed without being asked.

"You know, usually one can tell what people our age like to do or what music or films they are into when you look at their room. Posters or some sports trophies or something, but there's nothing in your room. Your room is so... impersonal." Yn let her gaze wander to the floor and shrugged her shoulders in response.

"Well... I'm actually just studying all day... so I don't have much time for hobbies." Silence followed. Jeongin had always thought that she was one of those students to whom everything came naturally, who always got top grades without having to do anything. But it seemed that she sacrificed a lot for her good average, especially her youth.

"What would you like to do? Is there nothing you enjoy?" She hesitated for a moment, then dropped onto the bed next to him and replied hesitantly,

"Well... I like taking photos." He had to smile, but before he said anything back, he changed the subject.

"So, shall we start studying?" she asked and was glad that he seemed to understand and didn't ask any more questions.

When Jeongin went home, it was already dark and yn had to admit to herself that the past few hours had shown her that learning could also be fun. Jeongin had made a real effort to follow her explanations and had always lightened the mood and joked around with her during short breaks. Even though, or perhaps because, he sometimes seemed to talk faster than he thought, she had rarely laughed as much as she did with him and the mere thought of how his hand had brushed against hers a few times made her giggle in retrospect.

One thing was certain. She was looking forward to the coming tutoring sessions, even if he was turning her into a clichéd teenage girl who was incapable of anything except drooling over guys.

~☆~

The weeks of the school year just flew by. Every Friday, yn gave Jeongin tutoring. Usually in the small café not far from the school. Jeongin had shown it to her during one of their lunch breaks, which they spent together more and more often. Every week while they were studying together, yn ordered a milkshake and a chocolate chip cookie. Jeongin insisted on paying to thank her for tutoring, but yn refused to accept the offer, which led to Jeongin deciding that the loser of rock paper scissors had to pay. This always managed to make yn laugh when she and Jeongin had a dramatic battle and the winner made fun of the loser a little too much afterwards.

The two of them hit it off straight away. It was as if something had just clicked between them. They teased each other and laughed about trivial topics. Jeongin's grades improved dramatically, even though he was still only just about to fail. But no matter how much fun yn had at her tutoring sessions, she couldn't forget that her final exams were getting closer with every passing week, so she spent the remaining days of the week holed up in the city library. It wasn't as if she had much else to do. She had no close friends she wanted to hang out with, no hobbies she wanted to pursue and she turned down almost all of Jeongin's invitations to meet up outside of her tutoring. Because no matter how much she wanted to hang out with him, there was always this little voice in the back of her head telling her that she should be studying instead of having fun.

~☆~

Like every other day, yn walked to the bus stop after school to go to the nearby library, but today she was called back by Jeongin in the parking lot. Puzzled, she turned around and saw him waving his car keys in the air, almost dropping them, which made Chris next to him laugh. He had to chuckle himself, even though an embarrassed blush adorned his cheeks.

"I've got a car now. If you want, I can drive you to the library... I promise that i won't disturb you." He giggled. It wasn't an arrogant 'I have a car' like most guys at her school would say but a pragmatic fact and yn liked that a little too much. That he didn't have to brag or boast about what an expensive car he drove, but simply offered her a ride. Her cheeks flushed pink as Jeongin's friends began to whistle and playfully run their hands through his hair.

"I never thought our baby would pull a girl." one of his friends laughed. yn thought she remembered that his name was Seungmin. Jeongin pushed him away.

"You're not even a year older than me." he laughed.

"You're still our baby!" roared one of his other friends, called Changbin. Jeongin struggled away from his friends and stood in front of yn, embarrassed.

"Please let's just go!" He sight a little annoyed by his friends. She smiled at him and nodded. He led her to his car and took a seat behind the steering wheel while she made herself comfortable in the passenger seat. The drive to the library was relaxed. The two of them had a casual conversation and laughed. Jeongin made her feel a certain lightness that made her skin tingle and her cheeks glow.

He parked right in front of the building and together they strolled into the old house. Yn immediately spread out her things in their usual place and Jeongin dropped into the chair next to her. Yn began to study, going through notes and researching background information in books. But one thing kept throwing her off track. Jeongin, who didn't even try to observe her unobtrusively but stared at her shamelessly as she studied. She felt her hot cheeks despite the cool temperatures in the unheated library.

Carefully, Jeongin let his hand slip over hers and the next moment he intertwined their fingers. Yn looked up from her notes and held her breath. Jeongin grinned at her shyly but with a certain self-confidence and Yn felt her rapid heartbeat pounding against her ribs. She carefully brushed a strand of hair from her face and forced herself to turn her gaze away from him. After all, she had to concentrate. But that was easier said than done. His warm hand, which lay protectively in hers, blocked any logical processes in her brain. After another half hour of trying to concentrate on English literature, she gave up and packed her things.

She was surprised that Jeongin hadn't fallen asleep yet, but he seemed more than happy to escape the library, which made her giggle. After she had put everything away, they walked to his car together, got in and he drove her home. When he parked in the driveway of her house, she smiled gratefully at him.

"Thank you for driving me. You really didn't have to do that."

"I know... I just don't want you sitting alone in that book hell every day. Otherwise you'll go crazy." He laughed. His eyes turned into little crescent moons as he smiled at her and she felt her pulse quicken all the way to her ears. In response, she pressed a tender kiss to his cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She said before opening the passenger door and climbing out of the car. Jeongin waited, his cheeks red and his heart pounding, until he saw that she had arrived safely at the house. Then he started his car and left a happily grinning yn behind.

~☆~

It became a little ritual between them that Jeongin would take her to the library after school, she would often study there until late in the evening, they would pick up take-out food together from one of the nearby restaurants, eat it in Jeongin's car or on one of the park benches and then Jeongin would drive her home. And yn loved this routine together with him.

She loved being with Jeongin and talking to him. He treated her better than anyone had ever treated her before. He looked out for her and cared for her, just as she cared for him. Sometimes she couldn't help but wonder when he would get too bored with her or find someone better. Probably because she hadn't quite realized how important she had become to Jeongin.

He made effort to get her to do other things, then studying, and tried to get her interested in her old hobbies again. For example, he had brought back her passion for photography. One day, while he was taking her to the library to study, he had stopped at a random field of flowers on the side of the road. Yn had looked at him, puzzled, as he climbed out of the car and ran out into the field, laughing happily.

"Come on! I need new photos for Instagram!" He laughed as he turned on his axis to fully take in the beautiful view of the flowers. The whole scene stretching out in front of her was too beautiful not to capture. So she climbed out of the car. She hesitantly pulled her phone out of her pocket and swiped the screen to open the camera. She looked through the lens, moved a little to find the perfect angle for her subject and then snapped a few pictures.

As she lowered her camera, Jeongin came running back to her and put his arm around her to get a better look at her work.

"Wow, I didn't know you were that good." He laughed as he swiped through the pictures on her phone.

"They look amazing!" he grinned at her and yn's cheeks turned red, whether from the compliments, the physical closeness or his sweet grin...

"Thank you." She mumbled, discarding Jeongin's face that hovered dangerously close to hers. He was still looking at her phone to see the pictures, but when he lifted his gaze, he found himself only a few centimeters away from yn's face.

They gazed into each other's eyes unable to say or do anything until Jeongin gently brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She didn't know who had made the first move but suddenly they were kissing. Yn felt her whole body on fire as their lips moved in unison. Carefully, she clasped her hands behind his neck, afraid he would slip from her grasp at any moment.

The kiss ended far too soon as they were both gasping for breath. But as a finale, Jeongin gave her a little peck on the lips. He pulled her closer to him, enjoying her body heat and drawing gentle circles on her back as they both caught their breath smiling.

A day later, Jeongin had uploaded the pictures from their little photo shoot on Instagram with the caption: 'My favorite photographer', giggling as she liked the post.

And with that she rediscovered her love of photography. Sometimes she took photos of Jeongin, sometimes she met a cat on the street and snapped a picture of it, and sometimes she used trees or other plants that she wanted to capture with her camera as a motif. These little moments sweetened her monotonous school day and Jeongin watched her happily as she went through the pictures on her little digital camera, proud that he could help her to have at least a little better 'school-life balance' and to have a few hobbies outside of learning.

~☆~

It was yn's last week before her final exams and yet, against all expectations, she found herself relaxing on a picnic blanket in the municipal park. Jeongin had persuaded her to study outside with him because the weather was so nice and she didn't regret it. Smiling, she looked up at the clear sky and let the sun's rays shine on her face. Jeongin lay down next to her on the blanket, the math problems that he was supposed to solve for practice forgotten by both of them.

Carefully, yn took her hand in his and looked at him, lost in thought. His eyes, blinded by the bright sun, were narrowed to slits, making him look like a smiley face. His lips curled into a grin. Why did she have this strong urge to lean over and kiss him?

"You're staring." he laughed without looking in her direction and she blushed like a tomato. Abruptly, she averted her eyes and sat up, hiding behind the math book in order to look distracted. Jeongin had to laugh even harder at the sight of her.

This finally made her feel like one of those teenage girls who had nothing better to do than ogle guys all day, and even though she was particularly ashamed of it in this situation, she couldn't help but notice again how beautiful his laugh was.

Silence returned, in which neither of them could stop thinking about the other.

"When are you finally going out with me?" He said it as if it was a banal question that didn't make her heart stop and she knew he was just as nervous as she was. She could tell by the way he tugged at his shirt and nibbled his fingernails. So if he could fake his cool, she'd been able to do it for a long time.

"If you pass your final exams." They both pretended they weren't just grinning happily at each other because they'd basically just set up an unofficial date and continued to play their casual facade, giggling. But inside, they could hardly grasp how lucky they were with the other person. So Jeongin sat up, ran his fingers through his hair and leaned over the book that yn was still holding.

"Then I guess I'd better keep studying."

~☆~

Yn couldn't believe how quickly everything had gone. No sooner had she written her exams than her graduation ceremony had arrived. A few hours ago, she had received her certificate as the best in her year and now she was sitting on one of the bar stools in the club where her class's graduation party was being held.

Then she felt an arm around her shoulder and she was pulled closer to the stranger, whom she quickly recognized as Jeongin. She snuggled up to his body and he grinned at her. Carefully, he pressed his lips to hers. But before he could say anything, the little moment between them was interrupted by his friends bursting in, all cavorting in front of the two of them.

"Hey Aien!" Chris greeted the youngest member of their group. This was followed by teasing whistles at the sight of Jeongin's arm, which was now resting on her waist.

"We're finally free man! No more school stress!" Jisung raised his fist in the air exaggeratedly.

"And our baby is growing up!" Hyunjin sobbed as he wiped his non-existent tears from his eyes, whereupon Jeongin just shook his head and buried his face in the crook of yn's neck in shame.

His whole group of friends was pure chaos but at the same time felt like a second family where you could just be yourself.

"How the hell did you manage to get our hopeless case here to pass the exams?!" asked Seungmin yn, flicking Jeongin parallel against the back of the head. Everyone laughed and yn had to grin too, especially when she saw the mock indignant expression on Jeongin's face.

"Well, I promised him a date." She said with a laugh, causing even more chaos. Everyone shouted and laughed, made comments or was simply happy for them, but what mattered to yn was the love sick grin on Jeongin's face. Their eyes met and they beamed happily at each other. They all had different plans now that they had graduated, but it was clear that yn and Jeongin would go their ways together.

[kykyonthemoon]

Hello! Could I please request a Zayne x reader where Zayne helps the reader study for her med school exams?? Thank you <3

Dear valyvinny,

I didn't get the chance to finish this request during the summer, so here it is now, for back-to-school season. I hope you enjoy this little piece <3

I'm not sure if you had an exam by the time you sent me this request? But if you did, I hope it was well.

Thank you so much for entrust this idea in my hands. Take care~

Revision

── .✦ Zayne x MC (F.Reader)

── .✦ Tags: childhood friends, fluff, sweet, short fic, late night study session

── .✦ Word count: over 800w

── .✦ Masterlist ♡ Request a fic - closed for the time being.

The silver moon hovered in the pure sky. The crickets had stopped chirping, and the cats were casually wandering on the roof. The entire neighborhood was in a peaceful sleep. Only the light from the half-closed window in your room remained brilliant.

You covered your mouth and yawned deeply. Documents, paper, and pencils were scattered about your desk, along with sweets and pastry wrappers. You were in your jammies, absolutely comfortable, with your hair a little unkempt. You should have fallen asleep a long time ago. But you sat there, with a remarkably strict "teacher" by your side.

Doctor Zayne was checking the assignment you had just completed. You wonder why it was so late, but he still seemed attentive. He was always neat, from the clothes he had not even changed out of when he showed up at your house right after work, to the very concentrated, serious expression on his face. As expected of a brilliant young doctor. A moment later, he returned the paper with a bunch of red circles on it.

"Do it again." Zayne spoke, and you sighed heavily. But you did not dare tell him to go home because he was there for you. There was just one month till your long-awaited medical school admission exam. You must work harder than your best.

Ever since you met Zayne as children, you had admired his family. His father and mother were also renowned doctors. Zayne eventually enrolled in medical school and became a doctor at a very young age. You must admit that your decision to pursue medicine was primarily due to his efforts. Zayne and his family inspired you, and you wanted to one day stand by them.

So, starting in the tenth grade, you focused on studying medicine-related subjects. Fortunately, Zayne agreed to become your tutor. He studied with you for hours after school. There was just one month remaining until you could reap the fruits of your efforts. But the closer the exam date got, the more nervous you became and the longer the hours Zayne stayed at your house.

Doctor Zayne arrived at your house as soon as he finished his duties that day. After a light supper prepared by Grandma, he and you spent hours reviewing. You would occasionally stop for treats. Sweets kept you awake. Even though Zayne warned you that you would get cavities, he enjoyed these sweets too and shared them with you.

It was past midnight and you were quite sleepy. But Zayne would not let you rest until you finished solving all these exercises. You reflected about it and were unable to figure out what went wrong. Obviously, you followed his directions. You scratched your head for a moment before realizing where the problem was.

“Doctor Zayne! It's not because I was careless that I made a mistake here. It's because your handwriting is so hard to read!” 

Zayne's eyes widened as he looked at your notebook where he had written the solution to the assignment on it. He seemed offended. 

“Are you making excuses for your mistakes again?”

“No! Clearly this word..." You pushed the notebook close to his face. “Here! I'm not sure what these words are anymore… Are those helminths?”

Zayne grabbed your wrist to pull the notebook out. His brow furrowed when he looked at you. 

“Will they teach me how to read a doctor's handwriting in medical school?”

Zayne lightly tapped your forehead. 

“Ouch!” 

"You should focus on your studying and yet, you keep thinking nonsense." Zayne said. He then took the notebook and crossed out the notes with a pen. After that, he meticulously wrote down each new word. “Is this easier to read now?”

“Sure.” Zayne returned the notebook to you, which you gladly accepted. “While I study hard, shouldn't Doctor Zayne also brush up on his handwriting?”

“You should worry about yourself first.” 

Despite his apparent displeasure at having his handwriting ridiculed, Zayne meticulously rewrote each line of previous notes for you. While working on your assignment, you secretly looked at him and smiled to yourself.

Doctor Zayne was so concentrated on what he was doing that he failed to notice his little student had fallen asleep on the desk. He gently shook your shoulders awake. But you brushed his hand away while dreaming.

“Helminths… Go away…”

Zayne grinned slightly. Perhaps all you needed was a good night's sleep to refuel your spirit. You had been studying really hard, not only in the last few days, but for many years. He believed you to pass the exam for the school you sought and become his colleague.

Gently, Zayne lifted you into his arms. He put you on the bed and helped you cover yourself with the blanket. You turned slightly but did not wake up completely. He remained on the side of the bed, watching you for a little longer. His fingers softly pulled away the strand of hair that was obscuring your face.

You once made a bet that if you could get into medical school, Zayne would date you. Even though he did not answer you at that time, he had been waiting for your great news. Before leaving, Zayne leaned down, gently kissed your forehead and whispered:

“Sleep well. I'm still waiting for the day you win the bet."

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Better Novel Scrivener Template

BTW, If you liked the Settings Template, this has that plus more...

The Current Novel Template is out of date, the templates aren't really doing much for you. And the variety of icons is rather thin. I set out to fix this.

The template as a whole is PG-13 as the Character Template mentions "dangerous" things like "Kinks" and "Safe Words" OMG. I know. So terrible. So if you don't want to explain those things to anyone underage, don't download it.

As I am NB, and generally queer otherwise, I have included things like Sexual Orientation, Romantic Orientation and a whole load of things to think about when building CHARACTER, SETTING, WORLDBUILDING. I included things that people often forget by using my Uni and College knowledge.

Please, please read the "Read Me First" file if you want to avoid having to load missing icons. I give instructions.

In case you still opened it despite my warnings or it doesn't work, you'll have to load in the icons manually. In which case this is a reference:

The New Icons are: Domestic Products, Imported Goods, Exported Goods, Laws, and Social Stratification. I added extra icons for Weapons and Warfare in case you're not writing Fantasy. Laser Guns and a Historical Pistol.

I did my best to make it CULTURALLY NEUTRAL. If you want them specific, you're on your own.

I also added if you'd like to load them

All these Icons to the folder so You can finally color code your manuscripts to your heart's content. (My unending frustration with Scrivener).

I added an SVG file so if there is an exact shade I missed on the Spiral Notebook Colors or the Hardcover Books, you can add it.

The Composition Notebook file isn't included as it contains a pattern. However, I made pains to make sure it matches real life colors that exist in Composition Notebooks. You wanted the Settings Template? There are 2. One for City/Towns. One general one.

Zero Organization or Clue on Querying or Self pubbing?

I put up Organization Folders for you.

Here are the Templates you get. Everything is beefed up for you. I spent forever on these Templates and testing them. I also cued Styles to them so it's easy to change the colors. If you want to change something, as the About document says, turn on invisibles.

The Default Styles aren't useless anymore.

If you need a more Definitive Guide, I also made one in the file:

Download the Scrivener Template. It is a ZIP FILE Win Zip or other Zip app should be able to handle it.

Warning: Direct Download https://www.kimyoonmi.com/BetterNovelScrivenerTemplate.zip If you want to Skip the Template completely, but are wishing to add the Icons to your Scrivener:

https://www.kimyoonmi.com/ScrivenerIcons.zip

This template itself is not for sale or profit nor are the icons. Also don’t be the person that lies that says you made it. It’s a Creative Commons License Attribution, Noncommercial, No Derivatives by Yoonmi Kim 2024. You may change it for personal use only. Any problems can be addressed directly to me at https://www.kimyoonmiauthor.com. If you would like to translate this into other languages, let me know.

Don't be the ass that tries to sell my hard work, 'cause really, it's free. And I spent a lot of pains and time to make sure it's free and easy to use with a lot of subtle UX. Edit: I added even more stuff to the newest version.

Yes, a Pets Sketch, a Fauna Species Sketch a Flora Species Sketch, there is Literature added to the list of Art (I forgot it. lol I thought the mistake was silly, but yeah.)

And I added a Medicine Section with an icon to the technology section. There are two native icons already for Medicine--syringe and pill, but I kind of felt it didn't always give the feel of fantasy, so I made a Mortar and Pestle from scratch to add, but if you're doing sci-fi or contemporary, etc you can change to the syringe or pill.

I added explainers as well for the items to the guide.

Why?

'Cause. I would love to be able to see people put more thought into their worlds/worldbuilding, even if it doesn't show up. Maybe it won't be only horses for animals as pets. Or an occasional dog. Haha. Having a gay dog like Robin Williams would be great.

[changingplumbob]

Me? Forget something? Surely not.

Please send any questions in via the ask box or message and I will add them to this post!

Can I make my sim and have you give them a trait from a pack I do not own?

Absolutely! Just let me know in either your sim post or the notes you send me with the download link and I can make the change for you. Please note I do not own Lovestruck or Life & Death so I cannot add those traits.

Similarly if you want them to like an activity that you don't have the pack for such as nectar making I can also add this in for you.

Does Deanna have an exact age in your game?

Yes she does, in my rotational save unlike my SBL I give my sims exact ages. Deanna is 21 and a half so would probably be comfortable flirting with anyone between 20 and 30.

Why are submissions open for so long?

Because real life exists and I would like people who have busier lives to be able to submit a sim if they wish. I will not be playing with any of them for introductions until next year so I can give a long window.

What if I submit a sim then want to withdraw them?

This is absolutely fine IF you do so before December 25th. This is so I can figure the schedule out with the numbers. If after the introductions you wish to withdraw your sim for your own or someone else's use I am happy to write them out of the competition with a flu or something.

Help! I've already sent you my sim but I want to change something about them! Can I edit them?

Again if it is before December 25th feel free to change your sim as much as you like. I will be adding the final versions to my game after December 25th so if you get the urge to change a trait, or on second thought you really don't like that dress, go for it. Just make sure I have the link to your final version by Christmas.

Can I put my sim on the gallery instead of SFS?

If your sim has no custom content and you would prefer to send them in via the gallery that is fine. Just let me know when they're up and what your gallery ID is.

How do I put my sim on SFS?

Once your sim is complete in CAS, save them to your library and take a note of the time. In your documents head to where your sims 4 folder is and go to the Tray folder. If you sort by file creation date you should be able to see several files that were all made at the time you saved your sim to your library. These are your sims tray files, if someone puts them in their own Tray folder they will show up in that person's library. Select them all and copy and paste to a separate location on your computer. There select them all and by right clicking you should get the option to compress to zip file. Once you have the zip file make a SFS account. If you do not have one me and many other simmers are able to get a code for you to use to make an account. There upload the zip file of your sim, there's a big upload file button. Once it is up there will be an option on the same line as the file to copy the link. That link is what I will need to download the folder. If you want to check, like I do sometimes, you can open a new tab or window and paste the link in there to see where it will lead. You should see a regular SFS page with the name of the file and the options to download or heart.

Can my spellcaster have xp and known spells?

Yes! So the skills that the contestants will be choosing to work on are things that may impact their performance in a challenge. That's why skills such as fitness will be set to zero. Since not everyone is an occult there won't be any occult specific challenges. Feel free to have your spellcaster know spells and/or be higher rank than apprentice.

[ordinary-barbie]

there's something about the summer - jean kirstein x reader

tags: female!reader, some smut but not explicit, tooth-rotting fluff

minors/ageless blogs dni.

you were never a huge fan of summer, but a certain sandy-haired guy manages to change your mind. modern AU. title from "summer mood" by best coast. buckle up because this is a bit of a long one.

Walking away, talking all day Ooh, I want you Ooh, I want you But there is something about the summer There is something about the summer There is something about the summer

to be honest, summer was never your favorite season. sure, getting time off from school was nice, and going on family vacations was fun, but you could never say you were in love with it. that is, until you met jean kirstein.

it makes perfect sense that jean adores summer. the man is a walking ray of sunshine! at first, you're baffled when jean says it's his favorite season. how could he possibly love the hottest time of the year?

jean lights up as he explains what he loves about summer: beach days. lying by the pool at his mom's house. ice cream dates. the sun setting after 7 pm. it's such a freeing time, and makes him feel like a little kid again. (you playfully roll your eyes at his enthusiasm but secretly, your heart melts. jean is just too damn adorable.

jean, the sentimental sap that he is, is determined to make your first summer together great. the man has a document in his iPhone Notes app with potential summer fun ideas!

he's so lame (affectionate)

Jean takes you to his favorite beach, a 5-hour drive away from home. he loads up on both of your favorite snacks for the trip and trusts you with the aux cord. there's a lot of loudly singing to pop songs, even though jean, bless his heart, can't carry a tune to save his life.

you're definitely familiar with this beach in name (and through friends' Instagram photos) but you've never made the trip yourself. and after you and jean get settled into your airbnb and decide to explore, you wonder why it took so long.

the beach is located on a little island along the coast, 3 blocks away from where you're staying, and its gorgeous scenery takes your breath away. miles of sandy beaches and beautiful oak trees laden with spanish moss are there to greet you and jean. the two of you interlock fingers as you stroll along the beach and check out the pier.

jean finds another reason to love summer the next morning, when you decide to bring along a book in your tote so you can lay out on the beach and read. when you first emerge from your shared bathroom in your favorite bikini, jean has to keep his jaw from completely unhinging. goddamn, how did he luck out with the prettiest girl in the world?

it's such a good-fitting bathing suit, hugging your body in all the right spots and making your tits look amazing. jean blushes, still amazed at how you can get him so hard without even trying.

spoiler alert: you don't make it to the beach that morning - jean manages to convince you that your post-breakfast activities should involve him mouthing at your breasts under your bikini top and eating you out until your bottoms are soaked instead. (you should be mad at him for ruining your reading time but you can't be too upset after multiple orgasms.)

after a post-sex nap (jean, responsible king that he is, brought a box of condoms and some lube just in case) and a thorough session of sunscreen application (again: jean the responsible king, though the two of you also relish the opportunity to have your hands on each other again), the two of you do manage to make it out to the beach for an afternoon of lazing around.

you're reading a romance novel that one of your friends recommended to you, and jean has his sketchbook and colored pencils out. ("my little monet," you lovingly tease him, giggling when the tips of his ears turn pink and he smiles bashfully.)

after a couple of sleepy, relaxed, sun-soaked hours on the beach, you and jean head back to the airbnb, and he reveals what he's been working on. it's a picture of you, lying on your stomach as you smile at the book you're reading. the amount of detail jean puts into the drawing makes you feel warm inside. jean is so damn talented, and it flatters you to be considered his muse.

you beam at jean before pulling him into a deep kiss. "i'm so lucky to have you in my life," you mutter into his sandy brown locks, and it makes him want to melt. the feeling is oh so mutual.

the rest of the trip seems to pass by in a blur. jean is game as you pull him into vintage shops and museums, and you humor his touristy desire to go on a guided tour and chill out in the golf cart while your boyfriend plays a few holes. truthfully, you haven't been on a proper beach vacation in ages, and you're so glad jean convinced you to be whisked away for a few days.

you and jean vow to go on a beach trip every summer. he's already getting excited at the thought of bringing your future kids to his favorite beach, and your heart seizes at the thought. you'd been ambivalent to the idea of having kids at first but there's something about jean that makes you want to form a family with him someday.

one thing you and jean bonded over when you first met through mutual friends (thanks Sasha and Marco) was music, and you learn that jean is a huge summer concert fan. whether it's a big festival or just one of your favorite artists, he wants nothing more than to just vibe to the music with you. one year into your relationship, he convinces you to go to bonnaroo with him, which is huge because you do not do camping. but spending a weekend on a Tennessee farm with jean, jamming to a bunch of artists and feasting on festival food by day and snuggling under the stars by night, ends up being pretty damn romantic.

back to that first summer. jean usually spends the fourth of july at his mom and stepdad's lake house, and jean's mom insists that you tag along so she can finally meet the girl that her jeanbo is so wild about. you're nervous at first - you never know what will happen when you meet the parents.

however, all your worries melt away when jean's mom envelopes you in the biggest hug. the two of you end up adoring each other, which makes jean's heart swell (at least until he catches the two of you giggling over old childhood photos his mom has on his phone)

jean's stepdad is pretty great as well. he's an affable guy who makes a mean turkey burger and is delighted that you laugh at his terrible dad jokes. jean's stepsisters, who are both teens, love you and crack jokes about how their dorky stepbrother managed to land someone as cool as you. when the two of you are cuddled up in bed on the last night of your trip, you tell jean how welcomed you feel by his family, and he's relieved that his two worlds have merged together so perfectly.

there's so many summer memories that you and jean hold dear, no matter how big or small. you tell him how you and your younger brother used to stand out in the front yard on summer nights and watch the fireflies flit about. you both decide to check out a new custard place that opens up and become determined to try as many flavors as possible. movie dates, so many movie dates, whether they're in a theater or at home (and jean prefers the ones at home since they usually lead to makeouts). parties with your mutual friends. summer weddings that leave you both misty-eyed.

thanks to jean kirstein, you've warmed up - pardon the pun - to this magical stretch of time from late May to September. it's not like you've never had fun during summer, but this man (this beautiful sunshine boy) has made you appreciate the season in so many ways. jean embodies summer to you, and you can't think about summer without being reminded of jean.

during your third summer together, you and jean are on your annual beach trip, but something feels different. after a delicious dinner and dessert at a local restaurant, jean decides to take you out to the beach, ostensibly to get some pics of the sunset (you've gotten used to jean being your personal paparazzo by now, and you must admit, the guy takes good photos). however, once he drops to one knee and takes a small box out of his pocket, everything clicks into place for you. jean's been different this trip, still his normal goofy self, but with an undercurrent of something else that you realize were probably nerves. you can barely get any words out through your tears, peppering him with kisses.

you hear a camera flash go off and spot Sasha, who somehow managed to keep herself hidden during the proposal. you envelop her in a big hug, grateful to her for introducing you to the love of your life. you can't believe that jean is going to be yours - not just for this summer, but for every summer forevermore.

[shouldhavestayedawayfromhere]

Documenting your practice (a step-by-step guide)

When I started doing spells and rituals regularly, I saw a post where someone said you should write everything down in a designated notebook. It's been the absolutely best advice I've gotten on how to evolve my practice, so I wanted to share what I write down and how I do it in case anyone else wants to try it.

1. Pick out a notebook only for this purpose

Do not use your book of shadows or grimore for this, as it will get too full too fast. This is not the same as your book of shadows. That's only where information and spells go. In this notebook, you will document your actual workings. It will have it's own categories.

2. Personalize the notebook

This is optional, obviously, but it really adds a layer of connection to personalize it. I like to paint it and put stickers on it and I also add some sigils of deities who help me on my spiritual journey and whom I want to watch over this book. I also add my own sigil to it, so if you have one, feel free.

3. Index

Make a little content index in the beginning where you list the different kinds of entries you will be making. You can color code them or use other methods to identify them. Here are mine:

I used to have a category for dreams, too, but I didn't use it frequently enough so I'd put that under new information/insights or notes. You can add any category you like, though, it's completely up to you.

4. Making layouts

Each of these entries will have it's own layout. While ideas, notes, new information and prayer may just be a single text that you write down and that's it, a formal ritual, book notes, meditations/invocations or readings will be a bit more elaborate.

For your ritual layout, find out how much guidance you need. Are you very familiar with rituals? Then you might do with a simple

Ritual purpose

Ingredients

Ritual body

Results

If you are farely new to rituals or just someone who likes or needs some more elaborate guidelines, I recommend something like this:

Ritual purpose

Deities invoked

Objects/herbs needed

Ritual space

Ritual body

Thoughts/feelings before

Thoughts/feelings after

Write down for every of these topics what applies to your ritual. Especially the reflection in the end can be really helpful. Write down any and every thought you have about the ritual you held and what you'd do again or do differently next time. This is a huge resource for building your own practice over time. It allows you to look back and see how far you've come, which can be really helpful for growing in your craft.

For book or video notes, you can use a simple layout. It's important that you know where you got your information from. My layout looks like this:

[Name of the book] [date]

by: [name of Author]

P.xy [chapter title]

Then you take your notes. This way you'll find exactly where you read something. Apply the same to videos if you watch any documentaries or video essays etc. on a topic.

Something I also did when I began taking book notes was to write down my intention when first starting to read the book. Why are you reading this book? What are you hoping to learn or find out? What perspective are you reading this book from? Is there a bias that you have that influences how you interpret the information in this book? You can add this too.

For meditation and invocation, I have a quite flexible layout. I usually write down what deity I am contacting at the top. Then, if accessible, the deity's sigil and enn. If I don't know the deity yet or have never contacted them before, I also gather some information about them. You can write down anything you find, these are just some examples:

History of the deity

Domain(s)

Rank/family

Associations

Offerings they might like

Then, you make your invocation. If you already know this deity, you probably have a reason for why you want to invoke them. Write that down. Write down what they're telling you. What you feel, what all your senses are picking up on.

Sometimes, this quality time between you and your deity can turn into a divination session. So let's talk about that layout next.

When doing a reading with your deity, or any kind of divination, really, you can be pretty free with how to start. Maybe you had a thought that you wanted to talk about with your deity, then you write that thought down. Or maybe you came with a specific question.

Personally, I write down my readings like a Q&A. I write down Q: [my question] and then A: [all the cards I pulled]. Then, I interpret the cards and write down my interpretation.

I know that sounds like a lot of work and writing to do. If that doesn't sound like you, you can find a different way to document your readings. Maybe only note your questions and the cards and the interpretation stays only in your head.

I just found that this helps me think more organized during readings and remember them better. I tend to forget things that my deities told me easily, so it's helpful to me, but it might not be for everyone.

These are some examples on how to document your practice. I started mine in the beginning of the year (literally 01.01.2024) and have already filled about 1½ notebooks by now. I love writing, so that might be a lot for some people, but even if you only take a few notes every time you make a reading, a meditation, or a ritual, you will soon be able to look back at your process.

You'll probably learn a lot over the course of time and look back at your first entries in awe one day. At least that's what I tell myself. So I hope this is useful for some of you.

Remember that everyone's craft looks different, there's no "right" or "wrong" way to practice magic, and it's for you to enjoy and explore on your own accord. That being said, happy witching!

Ave Lucifer <3

[youracebuddy]

A (Platonic) Spaghetti Date With Papyrus

~

It had been a eventful week ever since the monsters had escaped from the underground, and gotten settled into their much needed home. And, by some crazy coincidence, they all ended up being taken under the wing of the same apartment complex that you lived in. It did make sense, as the owner was a very heartfelt and gentle person. It was a pleasant surprise to hear that they would all be living in the same place that you were, and even more so to see just how wonderful they all were.

‘Monsters’ doesn’t feel like a very fitting term for them, as they all are truly unique, talented, and loving creatures that you had instantly grown attached to. A motherly goat named ‘Toriel’ who you had baked many a pies with, a sweet, nerdy lizard named ‘Alphys’ who ranted to you about anime, a strong, spunky fish named ‘Undyne’ who helped you learn how to wield a SWORD of all things, and countless more. But, there was one that stuck out to you in particular. There was a skeleton named ‘Sans’ who constantly joked, and was overall a chill guy. You had instantly hit it off with him, and often found yourself sticking by his side. You couldn’t help it- you had a massive crush on him found him fun to be around.

During said time, you had heard him mention his brother ‘Papyrus’ a fair amount. He wanted you to meet him, as he is the coolest guy he knows. You decided to take him up on his offer, as you wanted to get closer to him, and knowing his family was a great way to do so. Besides, if everything goes well, you might also make a friend along the way! You were pulled out of your thoughts when sans’ familiar voice rang through the hall, bringing you back to the present.

You had agreed to meet Papyrus today, and sans had led you back to their shared apartment for the two of you to properly meet. “so, here’s me and pap’s apartment. it should be your first time seeing it, so it would be great if you could pardon any mess.” You quickly nodded at his words, understanding completely why it might be messy in the first place. Sans reached out and rang the doorbell, and in what felt like a flash, the door swung wide open. It revealed a lanky skeleton in its wake, sporting a wide smile and festive costume.

He let out a dramatic gasp at the sight of you, as if he didn’t believe that his brother managed to finally bring you to meet him. He spoke, his smile only growing by the second. “OH, HUMAN! IVE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU FROM MY FRIENDS, AND ITS WONDERFUL TO FINALLY MEET YOU!” His voice loud yet unthreatening. “COME, LET’S NOT WASTE ANY TIME!” He declared, soon leading you back in the apartment with him. Despite the two of them only moving in recently, their home was practically spotless, apart from a strange pile of socks in one corner. It was filled to the brim with warmth, and was a great documentation of their personalities.

Your observation came to a halt when Papyrus paused his steps, throwing out his arm to gesture to the kitchen. “AS TRADITION WHEN I MEET A NEW FRIEND, WE SHALL ENGAGE IN THE GREATEST BONDING ACTIVITY THERE IS: MAKING SPAGHETTI!” As soon as he finished speaking, he gently nudged you into the kitchen, and rushed over to the cabinets. “FIRST, WE MUST PREPARE THE INGREDIENTS. HUMAN, PLEASE GET THE SPAGHETTI SAUCE OUT OF THE CABINETS WHEN I SEARCH FOR THE NOODLES.” He ordered, which you quickly obliged to.

You decided to look underneath the closest cabinet first, which was underneath the sink. When you propped it open, you were met with a cartoonish, white dog, happily snoozing away with a bone in its paws. Deciding not to question how it got there, you moved on to the next one. It was filled to the brim with ketchup bottles, with the amount of ketchup left in them varying. Now praying that you wouldn’t waste any more time, you opened one last cabinet. Luckily, it had exactly what you needed! More than enough, to be exact; it was almost as if sans and papyrus lived strictly off of spaghetti and ketchup.

You decided to not ask of the fact, and grabbed the amount of sauce that you usually used in your recipe. When Papyrus saw that you had only grabbed one jar, his expression filled with confusion. “FRIEND, WHY DID YOU ONLY GRAB ONE JAR? BACK IN THE UNDERGROUND, WE ALWAYS USED ENOUGH TO COVER THE NOODLES COMPLETELY!” He asked, which made you return his same misunderstanding. “You used enough to cover all of the pasta? In my family’s recipe, we usually only use one.” After a moment of consideration, his smile remained, now even wider than before. “WELL, I HAVE YET TO TRY OUT SPAGHETTI THAT WAY! HOW ABOUT WE USE YOUR RECIPE THIS TIME?”

“That sounds good with me!” You spoke, holding up a hand to give him a high-five in affirmation. He seemed to be giddy at the opportunity, and was fast to return the high-five. You couldn’t help but smile just a bit more at the sight, as his joyous and upbeat mood was incredibly infectious. With a skip in his step, he went off to fetch a pot and water. When he returned, you set it on the stove, and turned up the heat to boiling. In the meantime while waiting for it to boil, you turned back to Papyrus to see if he had any questions. He did. “SO, YOU DON’T TURN UP THE TEMPERATURE ALL THE WAY AS WELL. INTERESTING!” He chimed, seemingly intrigued at the thought. “WE JUST TURNED IT UP ALL THE WAY, SO IT WOULD COOK FASTER!”

“Well, that certainly may work, but my family prefers to take our time while baking.” With the water up to a boil, you carefully poured in the raw noodles. After getting them all in the pot, you made sure to fold them all in, and occasionally stir and scrape the pot. You glanced over to papyrus once more to see if anything was new, but he seemed to know exactly what you were doing. Despite his unique cooking methods, he still seemed to know his way around making spaghetti. To fill the silence as the noodles cooked, you decided to bring up how much you loved their house interior. “By the way, I absolutely love how you decorated this place! It’s simple and homey, but bursting at the seams with personality. I might have to invite you two over to help with my apartment sometime!”

“WHY, THANK YOU FRIEND! IM TRULY FLATTERED TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN UNDERSTAND THE AMOUNT OF WORK THAT I PUT IN TO DESIGNING THIS PLACE. BUT, IT’S SO ANNOYING TO HAVE-“ “The pile of socks? Did Sans do that?” Papyrus simply sighed and nodded. “YES, HE DID. FOR SOME REASON, MY LAZY BROTHER LOVES TO LEAVE HIS SOCKS AROUND THE HOUSE. HE WON’T CLEAN IT UP, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I ASK!” He cried, clearly tired from having to deal with this for so long. You didn’t even have to ask why he didn’t want to pick them up himself- it was clear it was a sibling thing.

You pondered over his situation for a moment, before speaking up. “Well… what if I ask him to do that? We get along pretty well, so maybe he’ll listen to me?” Papyrus nodded, sighing yet again. “…WELL, IT’S WORTH A SHOT.” With his approval, you turned away from your spaghetti to call out to Sans. “Hey, sans?” “yeah?” “Can you pick up your socks?” “oh, sure.” You then turned back to Papyrus, a smug expression on your face. It was quickly wiped away when you saw just how shocked Papyrus was, looking at you as if you had just said that the sky was green. You worried that his jaw would physically fall off if he opened it any further.

“Uh… Papyrus? Is everything okay?” He suddenly stepped forward and grabbed you by the shoulders, his eyes filled with glee. “HUMAN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!” He attempted to whisper, barely keeping his excitement down. “….No?” He only got more excited from your answer, trying to conceal his giggles but failing horribly. “SANS ONLY LISTENS TO PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT, BUT HE STILL WON’T DO A LOT OF THINGS FOR US. IF HE’S WILLING TO PICK UP HIS SOCKS FOR YOU, HE MUST BE REALLY FOND OF YOU!”

Your own mood multiplied tenfold at his words, and you didn’t even have to look at a mirror to know that there was a giant smile painted across your face. You had to bite down on your tongue to stop yourself from giggling like a schoolgirl, forcing your brain to remember the task at hand: spaghetti.

You turned back to the boiling noodles, which luckily seemed to be just about done. You put all of your focus into not shaking with sheer joy, not wanting your feelings to get in the way of your meal. Ignoring Papyrus’ continued giggles at how terrible you were at hiding your euphoria, you carefully picked up the pot, and separated the boiling water from the cooked noodles. With the main part of the dish done, the rest was a breeze to get through.

with the help of papyrus for time’s sake, you dished up a serving of spaghetti for you, Papyrus, and Sans, giving each a healthy amount of sauce and parmesan cheese. Now, all you needed was a taste tester. You called out to Sans once more, with Papyrus waiting eagerly at your side. “Sans, would you like to be the first one to make the spaghetti that me and Papyrus made?” “sure.” Before you could ask him to come to the kitchen, he suddenly materialized in front of the two of you with a small thunk . You stared at him in amazement, glancing over to papyrus to see if he knew what was going on.

“OH? THAT’S JUST SANS BEING LAZY! YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT BE WOULD USE HIS MAGIC TO BE PRODUCTIVE, BUT INSTEAD, WE GET THIS.” “… Good to know. ” You mumbled. Shifting your attention back to Sans, you reached out and gingerly pushed a plate towards him. “Here. It will probably taste a bit different from papyrus’s spaghetti, as it’s my own recipe. But, he did help me with making it!” You explained, feeling your heart tighten in anxiety. You knew that Sans wasn’t exactly a picky eater, and he probably didn’t care how it would taste, but you still hoped that he would enjoy it.

Sans took a nearby fork and spoon, scooped up a large heaping of spaghetti, and brought it in front of his teeth. A moment later, the food on his fork vanished. You quickly stopped your brain from trying to figure out how on earth that worked, not wanting to confuse yourself even further. A few seconds ticked by, and sans’ expression suddenly lit up like the sun appearing from behind a cloud. “its… good. ” He whispered, his smile widening in surprise. He happily started to shovel the rest into his mouth, not caring the least about table manners.

You let out a stifled laugh at the sight, overjoyed that he loved it so much. You stepped back from him and turned to papyrus, who was slowly shaking his head in disapproval at the sight. You gestured to his own plate, wanting to see his reaction to eating it as well. He looked away from his brother and nodded at you, picking back up his own plate and politely taking a bite of his own. He immediately slammed the plate back down, with such force that it was nothing short of a miracle that it didn’t break.

His expression was filled with a cartoonish sort of shock and joy, which warmed your heart to the very core. He turned his whole body to you, and pulled you into a bone-shattering hug. “HUMAN! WHY, THIS IS THE BEST SPAGHETTI THAT I EVER HAD! HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU NOT A PROFESSIONAL CHEF?!” He shouted, his eyes shimmering with pride. You spoke in a wheeze, bringing a hand up to weakly pat him on the back.

“I-It’s just a hobby that I have, but thank you so much for trying it! B-But… can you please be a bit more gentle?…” Papyrus immediately loosened his grip at your words, his head falling down in apology. “OH, IM SO SORRY FRIEND! I FORGET HOW DELICATE HUMANS CAN BE SOMETIMES.” He sighed, searching your expression for forgiveness. When it was instantly found, his bubbly personality bubbled back up to the surface. “NOW, LETS BAKE EVERYTHING THAT WE CAN!” “Oh, HELL YEAH!” You cheered, bolting back into the kitchen alongside him. The air was filled with laughter, and in that moment, you knew that you made a friend for a lifetime.

…

“You know, you really weren’t lying about your brother being cool!” You spoke, your joyful words echoing down the long hallways of the apartment complex. You had ended up baking the whole day with Papyrus, and quickly learned how pleasant he was to be around. “He really does know a lot about cooking, but he’s a bit intense while doing so. I mean, I can’t blame him for it at all when he had Undyne as his teacher. But hopefully he’ll adapt to more precise ways with time!”

“hey, if it means i can have more of your food, feel free to cook for us anytime. it’ll help papy too.” sans spoke, shooting you a playful smile. You responded with a chorus of giggles, flattered that he loved your cooking so much. “I’m happy to have you two over anytime, whether it be for a meal or snack! You can also just stop by to say hi too, you know.” “really? thanks, pal. its awfully nice of you to do that for little old me and my brother.” He spoke, his perma-smile widening further.

“Aw, you’re cool too! Your puns are funny, you’re really relaxed, and you offered to walk me back to my apartment!” You chimed in, gently pushing against his untrue claim. He laughed in response, fondly shaking his head. “whatever you say, pal.” He mumbled, looking around to see if your apartment was in sight. Luckily, it appeared to be just a couple of steps away. He stopped in place, and gestured to it with a small tilt of his skull. “well, there’s your apartment. goodnight.” And without a second thought, he turned back around on his heels and prepared to teleport back to Papyrus.

But before he could vanish, you rushed towards him and wrapped him in a gentle hug from behind. “Hang on just a moment, please! I gave your brother plenty of hugs today, so it’s only fair if I give you one as well.” You whispered, wanting him to not be left out. He froze in surprise, as being hugged was clearly the one thing he did not expect from the day. After a moment of silence between the two of you, he turned around, and silently returned the embrace. He let out a sigh that was barely above a whisper, not at all surprised by your shenanigans.

“… im going to be in for a lot now that you’re friends with papy, huh?” “You betcha.” You mumbled in response, holding him close for a heartbeat longer before letting go. “I’ll see you around, my bone-friend.” “heh. you too, kiddo.” And with that, he vanished off into the night. You stood outside of your apartment for a moment longer, smiling back at the thought of what happened today. When your heart had its fill, you silently slipped back into your apartment to rest for tomorrow. You didn’t know what would happen, but you knew that it was all going to be alright.

~

Hiii!!! Thank you so much for reading this to the end- it means the world to me! 🥹 If you want to read or save this on A03, you can find the link here!

[knowledgeoverknives]

Co Parenting With A Narcissistic (Or Not)

.. First thing I would say, if you can completely avoid Coparenting with a NARC do it. If you can be a single parent CHOOSE THAT OPTION. .. Coparenting with a narcissist is like being single or Coparenting with a mentally I’ll attention seeker.. They RARELY care about the child (I believe narcs can’t love children..) ..So if you can.. Avoid. It’s difficult to say… “ Just become a single parent “ but it’s better for your mental health, trust me.

-Prepare, prepare, prepare.

..Mentally, physically and emotionally.. Unfortunately.. This is going to be extremely difficult. They’re going to trigger you, be purposely difficult.. Especially they’re your divine counterpart and they’re OBSESSED with you.. Even worse.. They know how to trigger you.. Only trapped you to have access to you & control you.

.. You can prepare by.. Reading this post, read about NPD behaviour/NPD abuse.. Go on Reddit and read #raisedbynarcisst. So you can see how much damage they can cause to your child.

DO NOT PUT THEM ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE 🧾

..Do not give them automatic rights. Hell no.. .. Ghost that 🥷, legally we don’t have to put them there.. We can do the birth certificate without them.. However they can apply for a DNA test and get put on it later..

Get A Court Order If You Can Or Ghost Them.

.. Personally if I cannot be with my child 24/7 and have to then leave them with the NPD, I’d rather flee and leave the country. It’s that serious. .. Most Narcs struggle with Hyp3rs3xu@lity and childhood abuse .. God knows what goes through their brain around your child. I will not risk it. (Also this is why you SHOULD go to the police so atleast you’ve reported that they’ve violated you before)

Have A Set Schedule And DONT LET ANYTHING SLIDE.

..You want them to be a weekend dad? Have set times, dates and everything set. Have rules they have to follow and if they don’t, document it, screenshot and have it ready in a folder. Moreover, LET THEM KNOW EVERY TIME verbally or through text, what there doing wrong (without draining yourself

We cannot force them to be good or present dads.. But we hold them accountable.. Not argument though. Drop a Quick.. “ You missed your pick up on this date 01/01/2020” and leave it there.

They’re 10 minute late. Document.

They’re missed a weak. Document.

Your child came back exhibiting weird behaviour. Document.

Give Neutral Replies Every. Single. Time.

(don’t ever let them see you sweat or emotional)

..Narcs feed off emotions, so give them nothing. Give no response or silence. .. Create some notes on your phone named ‘ Replies for the narcissist’ and have one liners for you to say or text, when they try to put you into emotional bs.

Keep EVERYTHING about the child.

Keep your personal life private. Do not tell them ANYTHING. Continue to bring every single conversation about your child.

.. Again have set responses in the notes in your phone.. With short responses to bring to conversation back to your child.

IGNORE Their Temper-Tantrums

.. They feed off emotions, but also love to make a big deal out of nothing just to start arguments with you for no reason…

Think Of Them As Unhealed Children.. Who You DONT Have To Parent

.. Think of them as a 6 year old child.. Picture them as they’re inner child.. Acting out.. And instead of you responding.. Try to understand what they’re really saying..

For example:

..’”Your outside with your man ignoring our child.. Your a sh!t mum” ..What they’re really saying.. ..I’m insecure your moving on, I want to know what your doing and I want to make you feel bad.. Because I feel shit inside..

Or

“ You don’t want your child to grow up in a two parent household.. Your trying to break up our family “ .. ..You Don’t Want Me Because I’m Toxic And Now My Abandonment Issues Are Triggered..

Try not to respond or respond like their an robot, NPC or child. Laugh or dismiss.. Never entertain.

Never Feed Drama Or Triangulation

Do not entertain the ex. The gf. The wife. The bm. .. They will try to turn everyone against you or make you fall out with people. Always speak to people directly and never entertain what they tell you.

IMPORTANT: Live Your Life And Actively Move On

They feed off you being stressed or stuck on them. Be outside. You NEED hobbies. Continue focusing on your career. Get THERAPY. Heal. Do beauty treatments. See loved ones. You can’t pretend either, you actually need to be doing things and being busy, for yourself mostly.

Understand.. This Won’t Be Forever. Your Child Will Grow Up And See The Real Them

.. I hate the thought of a NPD raising my child with me because NPDS raise NPD or just ruin children’s childhood completely. But eventually they’ll f£ck off or your child will decide if they want them in their lives themself..

Find A Community To Help You Raise Your Child (Or A Nanny)

..If you come from an Inc3st family like me.. This is the hardest. Community. Raising children on their own.. I can’t lie it is hard. Finding community within Inc3st families is difficult because most are weirdos or jealous of you.. Not people you’d want to leave your child with..

..If you do have family/friends you trust.. Before you leave your child with them.. Do a spiritual reading.. Just to be sure.. Then.. Ask for help..

..If you can afford it.. Get a nanny to help you out.. Give you break.. Put them in reputable nursery and DONT let mum guilt kill you. You deserve childfree days and freedom too…

Join baby clubs. The library. The children centre. Be outside when you can, too much isolation will encourage PPD.

💗

GOOD LUCK

💗

[iguessitsjustme]

4Minutes Ep 3 Drunk Thoughts

Not gonna lie guys, after episode 2, I took a nap, woke up, realized it’s actually 2025 and not 2011 (weird dreams man), and then took a shower. I am now completely sober and I know the title of this says drunk, but at this point I’m just gonna be sipping on my wine which may or may not make me drunk. I am a lightweight, but also if I drink slow enough I will remain sober. So no idea what’s gonna happen. The only way to find out is to watch. And read what’s under the cut:

Oh wait before I start watching I need to find my airpods. Otherwise the people being noisy outside might be my downfall.

Okay. Sober thoughts for a second? I should probably give a warning on this episode in the tags or something. Anyway. Sober thoughts. I do not think this show is doing the work to properly set up these characters. I kind of hate all of them but more than that, I’m not being given a reason to care about any of them. All of them are introduced but none of them are introduced ya know? Like that woman at the end of episode 2 with Korn? Why should I care at all about the supposed power she seems to hold over him? Especially after he was such a dick to…Ton Kla? Is that his name? Like I don’t know who she is. All I know is that her dad is a shareholder. I don’t give a fuck and I’m not given a reason to give a fuck and that is gonna be a struggle for me in this show I fear. Actually you know what *drinks my wine*

Whoa that’s english. Threw me for a loop for a second.

I do love that Great told Tyme about the…time (heh) thing. Even if it made him look insane.

This is a good look. More of this please and thank

This date (??) is suspiciously cute.

So she IS his grandmother?? I feel confused and lied to in episode 2.

God this soundtrack is gorgeous. And killer. There has not been a single part of this soundtrack I haven’t liked.

Oh baby girl gonna die

This is why you don’t fuck in the same place you keep your highly sensitive documents

Oh no baby boy. Isn’t anyone gonna care how bad he’s hurting? Someone give that boya hug.

Jesu Cristo they be fuckin. Ton Kla can really get it. He be fuckin.

Ass count: 3

Ooooo a new time hath appeared

The question mark here really got me. I am laughin

Me today honestly

I am so completely and entirely shocked the end of the episode. I never saw that coming in the slightest. Oh no Tyme is one of the people opposing Korn. Whatever will Great do. I…care I swear. Mayhaps I am just every so slightly seepy. This wine seems to put me to sleep I think.

[venmo-send-limit-per-day]

How to Upgrade Your Venmo Account for Higher Limits

Venmo is a payment app that makes transferring bills, paying payments, and receiving funds quickly incredibly simple. However, its services come with certain restrictions that should be understood to avoid problems later. The Venmo limit lies within how much money can be transferred on any one day; this amount depends on whether users have completed identity verification in our app by clicking its settings icon and selecting "Identity Verification". Once verified users provide legal name, birth date, ID number to increase their limit.

Users can also set ATM withdrawal and purchase limits with debit cards to help stay within their expenditure budget, monitor spending habits, and avoid excessive spending, prevent fraudulent transactions or abuse of the platform as well as safeguard personal and professional finances separately. Venmo allows users to increase the amounts transferred by connecting to their bank account and granting it access to account data so it can determine whether increasing Venmo transfer limits is based on transaction history and activity levels.

What are the Venmo’s Transaction Limits and Restrictions?

Venmo places limits on transactions to protect users and ensure compliance with financial regulations. These restrictions depend on verification of your account as well as types of transactions being conducted; understanding these limits is vital for managing transactions effectively.

Below Mentioned are the Different Types of Limits on Venmo:

Personal Payment Limits: They cover transfers between individuals.

Limits for Bank Transfers: Like with Venmo payments, bank accounts often set limits on what amounts can be transferred via Venmo to their respective accounts.

What are the Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Transaction Limits on Venmo

Venmo's limits are determined based on weekly and daily transactions, as outlined here:

Venmo Daily Transaction Limits: Venmo does not set explicit daily transaction limits; however, your transactions count toward weekly limits.

Venmo Weekly Limits: The typical Venmo weekly limit for an unregistered account is $299.99; verified accounts, however, can pay up to $7000.00 in transactions between individuals as well as $25,000 worth of purchases per week.

Venmo Monthly Limits: Although Venmo does not impose formal monthly limits, weekly transactions limits set a cap on how many transactions can take place within any 30-day period.

What is the Venmo’s Verification Process for Increasing Limits?

To increase Venmo limits, it is necessary to verify your account. Verification requires providing more details about yourself to confirm who you are and ensure compliance with U.S. financial regulations.

Follow These Steps to Verify Your Account

Access the Verification Section via Venmo app by going into Settings, selecting Identity Verification, and tapping "Identity Verification."

Provide Your Information: Provide your complete name, birthdate and last four digits of your Social Security Number (SSN). In certain instances, Venmo may ask for additional documents like identification cards with photos.

As soon as your form has been submitted, Venmo reviews your information for verification - typically taking between minutes and several days depending on its complexity.

By following this procedure, your account limits will be expanded significantly allowing more flexible transactions to take place.

How Can I Request a Limit Increase on Venmo?

If your requirements exceed the default Venmo sending limits even after verification, consider asking for a custom increment. Here is how:

Contact Venmo Support To reach support options within the app, go through "Settings," then "Get Help."

Clearly state why an increase is necessary - such as managing business payments or expecting additional transfers - so as not to mislead anyone. For instance, provide all relevant details when asking for an increase.

Venmo may request supporting evidence such as proof of income, invoices, or any other financial documents to justify your request.

Keep track of your request using either Venmo's app or email to stay informed about updates or any additional needs that arise. Their support team will inform you accordingly.

How to Manage Transactions Within Venmo’s Limits?

You can manage the Venmo transaction limits by taking the steps mentioned below:

Be mindful of both spending and receiving restrictions to stay within budget. Regularly evaluate your activities.

The verification process should be completed as quickly as possible to gain access to higher limits and make the most of any promotions that may arise.

To avoid possible complications with large payments, try and spread them out over several weeks if possible.

When using Venmo for business, creating a profile allows you access additional features and may allow for greater limits.

Comparison of Venmo’s Limits with Other Payment Apps Like PayPal

Venmo and PayPal, although owned by the same firm, provide services for different groups and have different transaction limits:

Venmo is an easy and secure way to send and receive payments among individuals; verified accounts have higher limits of up to $7,000.

PayPal offers more business-centric services; their limits can go beyond $60,000 when used by authentic users.

Venmo stands out as an easier and faster payment solution when used occasionally compared to PayPal due to its ease and social features. PayPal may have more restrictive limits, yet Venmo makes for the better choice when transactions occur infrequently.

FAQ

How do I increase my Venmo limit?

To increase the size of your Venmo limit, first complete account verification by providing SSN and personal details about yourself. For additional increases call Venmo support directly.

What is the Venmo weekly limit for verified accounts?

Verified accounts can make payments of up to $7,000 weekly for person-to-person transactions and up to $25,000 when approved purchases.

Can I request a higher limit on Venmo?

Yes, if you call Venmo support and submit additional information.

Why was my Venmo transaction declined?

Your Venmo transaction may be declined if it exceeds the limits of your account, or there are issues with the payment method you have linked.

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4: New Game Patch (October 31st, 2023)

Following last week’s Laundry List, there is a new game patch out today. It brings new halloween themed onesies and a new feature aimed for new players: Discovery Quests. Read all about them below.

If you have auto updates enabled in Origin’s “Application Settings”, the game will auto-update once you open Origin. If you have auto-updates disabled, you will need to manually update by clicking the game in your library.

To ensure your game is up to date, check the game version found in Documents > EA > The Sims 4 > GameVersion.txt. Your game should now read: PC: 1.102.190.1030 / Mac: 1.102.190.1230 / Console: Version 1.82

Hello Simmers-

It’s time for a new update. In this release we have a new feature and improvements to the Gallery text moderation. We also bring a number of bug fixes, some of which were reported and voted up by Simmers over on Answers HQ.

Enough of the formalities, let’s jump straight in and take a look at What’s New…

The Sims Team

What’s New?

Today we begin rolling out a new feature: Discovery Quests! What is a Discovery Quest you ask? So glad you did! Discovery Quests are Quests that help you Discover more cool things about the game! You want to know even more? Sure thing! These Quests will point out key parts of gameplay and help you learn about features and activities key to a great Sims 4 experience.

But wait! There’s more! If you play through a Discovery Quest, you can claim some in-game rewards! You can add more to your Sim’s household from Simoleons to potions and even satisfaction points. What all can you do and claim? You’re so inquisitive! We love that! Here are some quests you’ll be able to play through:

Scoring Simoleons – Explore different ways your Sims can earn money, complete this quest and earn some, you guessed it, Simoleons!

Navigating Needs – Understand the different Needs your Sims have and how to keep your Sims happy

Skillful Sims – Navigate and learn how to help your Sims gain new skills and level up their lives

You and Your Phone – Phones offer your Sims many capabilities, explore this quest to learn more about everything you can navigate through your phone

Lifelong Aspirations – This quest is all about how Sims can work through and eventually complete their aspirations

Always on the Move – Your Sim would love to see the world beyond their home, let them experience new Worlds

You can find the Discovery Quests settings in Game Options under Tutorials & Tips.

We are also bringing a new context aware profanity checking system for all Gallery Uploads, Comments and Player Bio in all languages that The Sims 4 supports. While this is new for The Sims 4, the systems are currently used beyond The Gallery so they have been battle tested.

Bug Fixes

Base Game

Backpacks are great for storing things but having one in your lot won’t prevent your Sim from putting books away on the shelves. Leaves more room in your backpack for important things like snacks.

Korean – During the “Aliens Stole My Parents“ scenario, the “take a vacation“ option will be unavailable and the correct tooltip displayed explaining why now isn’t a great time to take a vacation.

English – Custom pronouns will be correctly reflected in the Odd Job Freelance Career

Loading into your home lot should greet you with your household and not error code 123:4a01697a:4adea999; prepare to accept the Welcome Wagon neighbors to your home.

Completing the Au Revoir, Lewis! In the Stuck in their Shadow Scenario will progress to the next goal instead of getting stuck. Now, time to go check that mail box.

Speaking of the Stuck in their Shadow Scenario, ever get those Mysterious Phone Calls? Nope? Well you should get them now without needing to take your Sim into Create-a-Sim and back.

Toddlers grow up so fast, but for right now, they will be able to grab a snack or drink from the Always Has A Snack-Bag lunchbox without going through a dramatic and sudden growth spurt first.

Starting the Finding Love After a Breakup Scenario will no longer drop you to the map with exception error code 121:8a89078a:d528d17c.

Sims that gain an extra trait can now be edited in Create-a-Sim.

Talking of procrastinating, when your Sim sits down to write a book or term paper they should do just that and not pick up the nearest book and start reading instead. Now, where is our basketball?

After a caterer has made food for your social event, you can drag this around now to place it where you like, useful for getting candles on a cake if your caterer isn’t great at placing the cake somewhere useful.

Dirty dishes can go anywhere, especially during student life. Who hasn’t found that one plate and multiple forks or spoons under their bed after detecting that odd aroma? Ohh, just us? Anyway apparently that isn’t where you should put them, and now neither will Sims who used to put them in the most distant parts of the home. Now they should show a bit more home pride and place dirty dishes in appropriate locations.

Removing skin details in Create-a-Sim should no longer generate a lastUIException for (AS)widgets.CAS.Customizer::CatalogPanel and instead will remove the skin details from your Sim as expected.

Stereo and Radio objects upgraded to Unbreakable shouldn’t break, no matter how hard you try. Problem was that the more determined Sims were finding the one weakness. These have been repaired free of charge and your Sims taught not to bend it that way again.

Console

The game should no longer enter an unrecoverable state when launching the game for the first time and accepting the User Agreements using a Mouse and Keyboard.

For Simmers using the Controls Legend, the callouts on the Gallery will be easier to read.

The Controls Legend in the Gallery will no longer display that you can block/unblock a player while navigating your Connections and not highlighting another Simmer.

For players that have disabled the Controls Legend in Game Options > Other, the Gallery will now respect those settings.

The Controls Legend being enabled will not display the Sim switch prompts (PlayStation – L1/R1, Xbox – LB/RB) in CAS if you only have a one Sim household

Opening the Cheats panel while on the Main Menu won’t keep it stuck open when you are done. The cheat panel can now be closed again.

While cooking, the shoulder buttons (PlayStation – L1/R1, Xbox – LB/RB) will switch between recipe filters as expected.

Gallery Server

Entering a stop word (AND, WITH, OR etc.) in your Gallery search will no longer return zero results. For example: “Cat with Dog” will show you results for you to bring into your game. We will be continuing to update the Gallery search functionality to better handle stop words in the future, but you should get results now.

Viewing an upload was only displaying one page of comments meaning you couldn’t view everything if there were lots of responses. Now you can keep scrolling to read all the available comments.

City Living

You know when you have something important to work on and then you procrastinate, and maybe play a little basketball before getting back to it before… basketball? Well we told the Sims that if they didn’t focus we’d take their basketball away, they can play later. So now Sims should no longer stop their important tasks to autonomously go and play basketball.

Discover University

Russian – A typo on the “Accept as new Roommate“ interaction has been addressed, thanks to AHQ Heroes for raising this issue.

Seasons

Sims that celebrate Neighborhood Brawl Holiday will no longer have negative sentiments towards each other afterwards, such is the power of the holidays.

Island Living

Mermaids tend to like the ocean, or the streets of New York City if our 1984 movie history serves us right. What you might not know is that they enjoy the odd mud bath too, or rather they do now since they will stop complaining about a routing error when trying to take one.

Thalassophobia, or the fear of deep water, is real and some Sims were becoming tense even when not near the ocean. Now the moodlet should only apply if the Sim is swimming.

Eco Lifestyle

The Juice Fizzer (juiceFizzer_EP09GEN_set1) will do what it’s expected to do, fizz your juice and not get stuck on the fizzing part of the function.

Snowy Escape

Yamachan will no longer enter your homes even if you use a Neighborhood Action Plan. If Yamachan is already in your home, you can tell them to leave using the Send Home interaction.

Cottage Living

Rabbits can be very thoughtful; one in particular was giving away items tagged as DEBUG for PC and Mac Simmers or UNKNOWN for console Simmers,as gifts like the Cow Flower. This gift has been removed from the rabbit’s stash and will not be presented to your Sims.

High School Years

Sims attending the Copperdale Pier together can enjoy the attractions, they can even ride solo or together. The tunnel of love is still reserved for potential love interests though.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Chapter 8 - Starlight Sky

In the morning, Katrina went to the seamstresses and told them to give her some golden thread and black silk, and she went to embroider by the lake inside the forest. It was such a calm and beautiful day outside, with nobody to bother her, and with the help of a pen and a rather simplistic drawing, she began creating a dragon, in the middle of the silk. Surprisingly even for her, it actually looked rather imposing, while also being pretty.

But why did she do it? 

Well, perhaps because she turned on her phone to catch up on the date, and it said June 23rd. Coincidentally, it was Nobunaga's birthday. But what did she even do for him? An embroidered dragon on some silk? It's not something that would be meaningful to anyone, let alone, the future ruler of a country.

Thinking a bit, she looked down at the material in her hands, and decided to add a few more details, yet even then, after adding red spider lilies to the corners and wrote in cursive Latin, in golden, his name, somewhere at the bottom. Now, it looked like an oddly decorated handkerchief, and whilst she was proud with her work, she has no idea whether or not to even give it to him.

No matter, she will think about that once she sees him. IF she even sees him. He's been rather busy since their last talk, and it almost felt as if he was avoiding her - Though, she knew, it was all in her head. Nobunaga was a man, he wouldn't do something so petty as to avoid her, he had far more important things to be doing.

By the time she was done with the handkerchief, she put it inside her kimono sleeve and returned the taken objects to the seamstresses. It was already late into afternoon, close to evening, yet the sky was as brilliantly azure blue as early in the morning. Since nobody was around to bother her, she went to the river and started combing her hair and humming some of the songs she likes most, doing her make up and dangling her feet from the boulder she was sitting on, sometimes even wetting her toes in the cooling water. The few clouds that were drifting looked soft and took different shapes that Katrina would try to find the shape of. And so, the Sun was beginning to go down, and it was time to return to the castle, change into a prettier outfit, and admiring herself into the hand mirror, she realised she was ready to go.

First, however, she went to Nobunaga's room and knocked on it. As soon as she heard his voice, she opened the door, peeking inside - He was sitting at his desk, writing and reading various documents. "Hey... How are you doing?" the girl asked, slowly standing inside. She looked at him and noticed his brows were furrowed, completely focused on his work, yet he was completely oblivious to the sound of his growling stomach, or the way his eyes looked red, and had darkness under them.

"Working." was his monotonous answer, without even as much as looking up at her. It was worried Katrina, for some odd reason, and she sat down in front of the table and reached out to both of his hands, putting hers over his own, making him stop abruptly. "What is it that you want?"

"Have you taken a break today? At all?" she asked, carefully raising his hands and taking them away from his work.

"I don't recall." came his answer that earned a dissatisfied hum.

"I... Think you should rest for the night. You look exhausted... And you completely ignored your meal. Look, it's gotten cold. The tea as well." she explained, earning a weird, almost intrigued and curious look from the man, as soon as he raised his head to look at her.

"You did your make up." this off comment made the red haired girl blink from surprise.

"I-... Yes? Thank you for noticing... I think?" her reply came as rather confused.

"I was under the impression you weren't fond of make up. Was I wrong, or were you trying to impress me?" changing back to his usual, cocky self only made the girl chuckle, letting go of his hands.

"You were wrong. I don't do my make up while working, but sometimes, I'm in a good mood, I have the whole day to myself, so... I go out. The whole week I've been doing my make up. You just never had the time to see me." she shrugged simply, seeing the surprise on his face - Her subtle sharp jab wasn't lost on him.

"I see. You should have more time for yourself, then. In fact, I wanted to have a talk with you. You see, a very important person is going to visit us soon, and on behalf of the Oda hospitality, I want you to be showing them around and make sure they feel welcomed. I believe they will be staying for quite some time." he explained, dragging over the small table with food and starting to eat, as per instructed.

"Of course, I would be honour to help you. I just hope I will be able to do a good job at it. I'm still... Ahhh, how should I say... Directionally challenged. And although I've said it before, as per longer distances... It also applies to smaller places." she chuckled in embarrassment, scratching the back of her neck.

"Ha! Worrying for nothing. Is that customary in your time? Regardless - You will do fine, I have no doubt about that." he reassured her, waving his hand dismissively.

"If you think so, then, I am happy. Well... I will be taking my leave. Uhm... I hope that you can allow yourself to rest for the night. You look exhausted, and... When the brain is tired, your actions will be tired too, and you won't be able to compute as well. So... Yeah... Sweet dreams." she got up and stepped towards the door.

"If my lovely physician prescribes be rest, then I shall rest, as per instructed." he let out a small chuckle. "What will you be doing for the night?"

"Me? Well - I was thinking that the stars were very beautiful tonight. Back home, on summer nights like this one, I would go for a walk through the park close to my home. It was very beautiful and relaxing... And this night felt very inviting. I wonder if I'll see fireflies too." she hummed, excited to take the stroll.

Though she said that, she was also pretty excited about the meeting. Taking short steps towards the lake from the forest, she only held her head up, admiring the starry sky. It was the most beautiful sky she's ever seen. The sky was embellished with the shiniest stars there were... So much brighter, more numerous than in her time. If she could, she would simply lay back on the ground and admire the beauty of the place.

As soon as she reached the lake surrounded by the Wisteria trees, she sat down on the bank, gazing at the silver sheen of the water that sparkled as if diamonds and zircons were floating, and more - There were fireflies! 

For a while, Katrina completely forgot that she was supposed to be meeting with a carnivorous predator, the scenery was too beautiful, so out of this world, and she felt like some sort of magical princess from a far away land. The symphony from the crickets, the toads, the wind and the leaves - They were all lullabies to her ears. There was nothing back home that could compare to this enchanting atmosphere... And maybe... This could be one more reason to remain here. Maybe she doesn't even need to find her soulmate, the nature is just so beautiful, and there's nobody who stresses her out or push her, and nobody really expects anything out of her. She just does things because she wants to do things, and since she's come here, she can safely admit that she's been able to get along really well with the warlords. 

In an era of war, she's the happiest she's ever been in her entire life. And even if she is to die, better die young and happy, than long and depressed.

The sound of a flute was heard through the thicket of the forest, and Kat's attention was drawn towards the noise that was getting closer and closer, until finally, a certain tiger wearing a luxurious coat stepped towards her playing on  beautiful, dark brown flute that was intricately painted, and from the end of it, it had a red tassel with a jade hanging from it.

She waited until he stopped his melody, and as he did, he did a playful courtesy and sat down next to her. "That was beautiful. I never expected anyone to be preparing such a surprise for me. I'm flattered." she smiled softly, extending her hand towards him, indirectly asking for the flute.

"I was going to be meeting with the most beautiful Kitsune Princess in the land, of course I had to do something to impress her. Judging by that charming smile of yours, I'd like to think that I succeeded." the man's smug expression was painted on his face, as he handed the flute for her to admire.

"You did. Nobody ever did anything so sweet for me before." she admitted with a bittersweet smile as she stroked the magnificent instrument. "I've always wanted to learn how to play an instrument. I did, at some point, but I've forgotten since long ago. Recently, I've been really interested in playing the zither. I've heard some songs played before, on the Chinese guzheng, and I've never heard anything more heavenly." she confessed.

"They say the greatest harmony between a man and a woman is based on the harmony with which they perform a poem played with a flute and a zither. As much as I would have loved to teach you how to play the zither, I find it too much of a feminine instrument. Though rare, nothing compares to the sight of a beauty playing a sorrowful melody on a zither." ancient flirting was on another level, Kat thought, as she couldn't help but smile even wider.

"You are too much of a sweet-talker, Shingen. You can't charm me with the same lines you charm your other ladies. I am, after all, a Kitsune." she chuckled teasingly at him, watching him from the corner of her eyes.

"Miss Kat, you wound me - I would never. Besides, how could I possibly speak the same things with all the other ladies, when none of them has come from far away times." this comment made the girl snap her head towards him, her eyes wide with shock.

"You knew? Did Sasuke tell you?" she asked with a gasp.

"No~. You simply confirmed my suspicions." this reply only made the girl even more shocked. "Weird clothes, weird spectacles, an astounding knowledge in all the most obscure sciences, while also being a complete idiot when he first arrived, four years ago... Not to mention, Sasuke has never had any friends, except for this lovely lady before me which I've met less than two weeks ago. And let me tell you, Miss Vixen, that I've never seen any woman with hair as red as the blood that I spill, and eyes greener than the forest during summer. Not only are you time-defying, you are also a foreigner." her cheeks turned a hue pink.

"Then... Considering that you know of my background as well now... Is it safe to say that something other than my looks has caught your attention?" she asked, even more interested now.

"You, Miss Fox, have intrigued me beyond belief. I am curious how this country is, years in the future. How the people fare, how the rulers are, the laws, our culture, the trading... Everything. Sasuke told me you were a physician for animals. I've never heard of anything of the sort. He told you you must have had proper education, far greater than anything any of the folk can imagine, and I'm curious to see the extent of your knowledge, of your wisdom, of your wit. I want you to teach me everything, to the point of being able to integrate in your time, should the Heavens take me from this time, and bring me to yours. But that's not enough for three dates alone. It's not alone for a lifetime - And unfortunately, I don't have that much either." the more he spoke, the more Shingen realised the way her green eyes were gleaming, the more he got lost in them and the kindness and concern they were showing for him. She knew. She knew he was going to die young, yet still, she allowed him to self-indulge and think he even had enough time to take her for those three dates.

"Oh, Shingen... Did Sasuke tell you...?" her soft voice was so lovely, the warlord thought, and he was so tempted to just grab her chin and bring her into a kiss.

"He didn't need to tell me. I can feel death creeping. I am old, I've lived my life, and though I was never able to decisively defeat my greatest rival, Kenshin, nor Nobunaga, I am sure that, somehow, I will be able to live a few more months and get the honorable death that I wish for, during the next war." he smirked, completely unafraid of his fate.

"You don't know how long you have. Nobody does, not even God... Or uh, whatever you believe in, if anything. I don't, but you may. But -... You can't die. You can still live for longer. What's bothering you? Maybe we can treat it?" she asked, her brows furrowed as she tried to come up with some scheme to get him healthy.

"The only treatment I'd need is your heart, but something tells me that it's already taken by that annoying brat who calls himself 'Demon' or something." though bitter at the realisation, he was also happy to know that such a beautiful girl wouldn't have to suffer by falling for someone who won't last to see the next snow.

"Wh-What are you talking about? I have no lover, nor do I have feelings for anyone." just as she said that, Shingen revealed the handkerchief she has created. It must have fallen from her sleeve.

"Oh. That. It was Nobunaga's birthday today. I saw him, but... I completely forgot to give it to him... Or even wish him a happy birthday. I'm so awful..." she muttered, gingerly taking the textile in her hands and caressing it. "But this has nothing to do with your health. Though I won't be acting as anyone's informer, as a physician, even if specialised in treating animals, I want to see if I can do anything, with the limited treatment available. One week, one month, even one more day... Life is precious. Don't throw it away so simply." how precious, the little maiden was - Little princess living in a time of peace only, now brought in the middle of the war and thinking her golden heart alone can save lives. Life itself is a tragedy, and so many men sacrifice themselves so that some day, their children, or their own children, will be living a better life.

"Whether it's me, or Kenshin, or Nobunaga, we're all fighting for the same thing - A better life, a better country, for our families, and the families of those we lead. You're like a real Kitsune, living in a whole different world. And you deserve that, Miss Kat. You deserve to live in a world that is perfect for you. What I have is untreatable. Whether I eat or not, my stomach is giving me the pain of hell. It's crying to either be spilled to the ground by ritualistic suicide, or by another's blade." he reached out his hand and ran it through her long, crimson locks.

"... History says you are a vegetarian. Maybe... Avoid vegetables high in sodium, like beets, celery, carrots and... Spinach, I don't know. Or maybe try to eat something that doesn't have much acid, or something more consistent. A bit of light meat, like grilled chicken and bread with no condiments." instinctively, she put her hand over his, squeezing it lightly. "Besides... In a few years, history says that Japan will be unified and ruled under a new shogunate. Though, until that happens, the person who was supposed to lead everything went crazy, and wasn't capable of stopping the civil wars caused by the  common folk being unable to stop themselves from yearning for war. The leader made his army kill themselves by invading Korea to get to China... But of course, people died for nothing. Since I'm here, I was already able to save Nobunaga, so at least, I don't think he'd do something as stupid as that. I'm sure that... Even though history will change, the future of the country is still going to be very bright. Be that leader you, Kenshin or Nobunaga."

"But you want Nobunaga to rule." Shingen smirked, teasing her, hoping for a cute, flustered reaction. Instead, her eyes gazed into his, and he watched her nod her head affirmatively.

"Yes. If you die, I don't trust Kenshin with the future of Japan. Nobunaga is known as the real unifier of Japan, despite all the ruthless things he's known for. Though I was born and brought in an era of peace, I am not so oblivious as to think there are no sacrifices that will be made, and thousands of people on whose cadavers we'll be stepping on. Innocents will die - They do in all wars... But if I am there, and if I can make a small difference... No more rapes, no more innocents getting needlessly killed, no more pillaging... I don't know, no unnecessary act of barbarism... If I can bring progressiveness into the future of the country... Then... My wish to remain here won't be in vain. I... I've been here for for so little time, but I don't want to return. I never felt more at home before, then when I got here. I don't know how or why... But I want to... And... Somehow, for the first time in my life, I think that I... I am capable of changing the world. And I will do it. I will make people listen to me." despite the cute little precious fawn energy she held before, she was now speaking so confidently and sure of herself, she looked so strong in Shingen's eyes, and for that, he wanted to put her on a pedestal and make her the ruler of Japan. No more men who know only to kill and divide the country, but a person who can bring people together with just kindness and understanding. He will die soon, and he won't be able to see her succeed, yet even so, he will make sure, one way or another, before his death, to support her dream.

"Japan never had a woman to rule, nor did they have a beautiful vixen. Maybe it is time for a change." Shingen laughed heartly.

"China did. A thousand years ago, the young concubine of Emperor Li Shimin, who became a nun, and then married his son, Emperor Li Zhi, was so smart and cunning that she was able to rule better than the young emperor, so she became the real ruler. After his death, she stopped all attempts at anyone taking the throne, and ruled as the sole Empress of China, until she died of old age, at 81 years old, a year after she was forced to abdicate. Until the Heian period, and even further on, Japan had great influences, especially cultural, from China. There are countless of women in history, powerful either for their ruling, or their war fighting, yet their great deeds are written in history either as them with ruthless and vile, because they were women, or simply, they were erased, thus, we don't know about them. If I live to see the country being unified, then... I'm sure, when he returns home, Sasuke will be opening a history book and see my name written there. Either as the greatest bitch Japan's ever had, or the greatest Fox Empress." though serious, Katrina ended her little inspirational speech with a laugh.

"Damn that Nobunaga." Shingen dramatically cursed. "I have a child with a wonderful woman... That child grew, and was supposed to be my heir. But he's an idiot. He's nothing like me, and he has not the calm of his mother either. He's hot headed and short tempered. He doesn't want to learn anything, he doesn't trust my generals, nor do they trust him, and he doesn't want to join me in wars too. That Katsuyori went to one war, and he lost that one so shamelessly. Since then, he refused to join. How is he supposed to learn?" Takeda shook his head in disapproval. "Meanwhile, I have an intelligent woman in front of my very eyes, who's willing to learn about the art of war and the intricacies of strategies and diplomacy, you want to make the country a better life... Go to war, and you're as good as us, warlords!"

"Oh, actually - Nobunaga took me to war once. Saved me from a stray arrow. Then, he took me to him to help him with a secret ploy, and he saved me from some ninja who was begging to me for mercy, yet tried to kill me. Does that count? Oh yeah - And I saved him from the collapsing, burning temple and from that Kennyo monk - something - Who wants to desperately kill him... Maybe more then you and Kenshin." that cheeky grin made him pinch her nose playfully.

"No, it doesn't, and I pray you never will do something that would count. It is getting late, and though I can't go escort you back to the castle, for both our safety, I hope you will agree for our second date, a month from now."  he offered his hands for her to take, helping her stand up.

"I see I have managed to charm the golden tiger, I am proud of myself." she smiled tenderly at the man. "I will be seeing you... And I hope to be surprised again. Who knows... Maybe I shall be surprising you back myself~." with a wave of her fingers, she walked back towards the castle, admiring the beauty of the world once again, giddy and happy to get the validation needed to get her the courage and confidence that she's capable of greatness.

Though she slept well, in the morning, she was excited to get a a job from Nobunaga that would hopefully aid him with his political strategies. Who knows what kind of governor or shogun he would be bringing? Maybe some new warlord?  Or a foreign merchant to get better trades for weapons?

As instructed, Kat went outside, only to be confused by all the servants, especially the maids, flocking and hiding at the corners, gossiping and staring intently at something. Something stunning and gorgeous like a flower, something that held beauty comparable to the Sun itself.

But she didn't listen to the rumours, she was getting too confused - She went down the stairs and went outside, at the entrance of the court of Azuchi. Nobunaga and the other warlords were already present, standing one next to the other, blocking her view of anything further. The first to notice her was Masamune, who cheerfully raised his arm and called out her name. As soon as she walked closer, the warlords made split into two groups, allowing her to stay in the middle - And as the wave split, the guest was presented before her very eyes.

The most beautiful woman she has ever seen in her life.

Her hair was long like Rapunzel's, and black like ebony, it looked strong and shiny and soft like velvet. Her body was slender and gracious, and the aura she was emanating was like that of a noble woman, only highlighted by the glamorous, expensive jewelry and clothes. Her make up was delicate, and it only made that doll-like beauty accentuated. Her almond eyes were warm and black, as if inviting you to love her, and that expression of hers was demure and tender, just like Wasabi looked at her when she first met her.

She was breathtaking, and if Japan ever wanted to document the Beauties of the Country, she would be one of them.

"Katrina, finally, you're here. This is our esteemed guest. She is Princess Mochi, and she comes from the other end of the country, so make sure she feels at home here. In a month, she will become my wife."

With that last word uttered, Katrina felt her whole world crashing down on her, and the skies were shattered, and her chest torn apart, with her heart taken and stomped on. 

Wife?

No...

Yes! Actually -

But Nobunaga was married before, and had two concubines... But then all his wives either died, ran away, or were kicked out for attempting to kill him. He even has children, considering how young they marry and mate, but not even once, did it cross her mind that he would attempt bringing the country together... Through marriage, and not through his sword.

"How wonderful! It is lovely meeting you, Princess Mochi! You may call me Kat, please, no formalities. I hope we'll be getting along well. Let me show you around the castle and its premises, the landscape here is absolutely stunning." she quickly pulled herself together, and showed a sweet, welcoming smile. Mochi had no fault in all this, and she had nothing to do with Katrina's stupid feelings. She was all alone in this place, with no one but her maid by her side. The least Kat could do was befriend her and make her feel a bit better.

After all... Life is a tragedy, and no story ever has a happy ending, does it?

And before she realised it, Katrina was fisting the black handkerchief inside her sleeve, making sure that her disappointment wasn't noticed by anyone. That's what all women of the past would do, and that is what she will do as well.

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