#this is coming from someone who hates overly complimenting

[liamthemailman]

YOU DESERVE IT! YOUR AN ABSOLUTELY AMAZING PERSON! YOUR ART AND EVERYTHING ARE SO GOOD AND YUMMY! YOUR DESERVE ALL THE LOVE AND AFFECTION! *hands you a heart shaped potato and gives you a tight hug* ALL THE LOVE FOR YOU!

-your local dumbass 🐺

uh.. i mean thank you?? like its appreciated and your words are really sweet and i mean that truly.

but i havent done anything to deserve this..? all the love does not belong to me sorry.

[bonny-kookoo]

Yoonkook x Reader

Touch-Starved [Main Story]

Yoongi has a crush on you, but is convinced you're not interested in him. You have a crush on Yoongi, but are sure that he'd never like you if he knew your secret. Jungkook has a crush on you but won't admit it to anyone, and you have a crush on Jungkook, but you think you know that he'd never see you as a possible partner, because he knows your secret. It's all just such a mess. How could you ever sort this out?

Tags/Warnings: Wolf!Bangtan, Wolf!Jungkook, Wolf!Yoongi, Dog!Reader, Puppy!Reader, DDLG aspects and themes, no judgement allowed here, non-sexual regression!!!, none of those themes are sexualized in this work, hurt and comfort, major fluff but also lots of angst and insecurity, friends to lovers

Length: idk long didn't count

-> Masterlist

There is no taglist for this fic.

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Yoongi is not good at things like affection, or relationships at that.

He easily turns red as bright as a spanked ass whenever he has to try and compliment someone he's even just remotely romantically interested in, or he will otherwise simply not find the courage to do it at all. Backhanded compliments are a regular thing with him, his character not allowing him to show someone he cares without implying that he doesn't- a trait that he hates about himself.

He'd learned it from his father, making him even more upset since he never really got along well with that man in the first place. Yet the more he thinks about it, the more it seems like his family history will just repeat itself, and he will find himself in a marriage simply created because of convenience, not love.

He cringes at that, throwing the rest of his sandwich away. His appetite has been long gone anyways.

The reason of his foul mood is in the dorm currently, sitting comfortably on the couch playfully wrestling with Jungkook over a pack of chips he can't identify from his spot.

He hates Jungkook sometimes.

He's always pictured as a shy boy, yet he's actually the exact opposite - easily likable, charming, and most of all- he's your age. The maknae and you are merely half a year apart in age, and he can see why you get along with him. He is a nice person, with his bright smile and large eyes, talented, strong, and likes video games as much as you do.

Yoongi himself does play some games to a small extend, however, he rather buries himself in his work, losing sense of time whenever music is involved.

Overly confident is not how he would describe you- you are simply uncaring of trends of the masses. You don't crave to stand out like Taehyung does, you rather enjoy simply living for yourself and what makes you happy no matter what people would think of your 'goals'. You love stuffed animals and soft colorful things no matter how childish it might make you look. You rarely take selfies of yourself, and never really pose much in images- you just smile, simple as that.

God that smile. If there is an emotion for hate and love at the same time, he is constantly feeling it when it comes to you.

Yoongi wants to be close to you as well, maybe even the closest if he is honest, yet he doesn't know how the hell he is supposed to do that. You both rarely text- he is too unsure if he can, since he is only in a groupchat with you, and only got your ID from Hoseok, who gave it to him in case Yoongi needs to text you something important. You rarely visit him in his studio, but then again, he never told you you'd be welcome anytime. Every small thing he does for you he either brushes it off as nothing speci¹al, or sometimes even tells you that he didn't do it, but one of his members, claiming that he has no Idea what you are talking about. You also show absolutely no interest in him whatsoever.

Which makes his embarrassing crush on you all the more awkward.

He's Min Yoongi for god's sake! He could have anyone if he really tried, if just for his fame and wealth and status as a full blooded Wolf-Hybrid coming from a 'clean' bloodline- yet he is stuck with you, the tiny dog hybrid who sees him as a friend only- if even that at all.

"Yoongi! Finally leaving your wife in there to join us in being social for once?" Seokjin remarks with his signature laugh following, making you chuckle as well.

"Don't be mean Jin." You softly scold the oldest. "Yoongs works hard in there." You look over your shoulder, one of your floppy ears unfolding while you smile that goddamn smile at him- not huge, not a smirk, simply a nice friendly gesture towards him, curled tail wagging a little.

The nickname doesn't make it better.

He hates nicknames, however, he could definitely keep living with your cute versions of his first name any day of the week. He wants to answer you, give you a verbal response, yet all he can bring himself to do is a shrug of his shoulders.

What the fuck.

But you only playfully hold your heart, falling into Jungkooks lap with a dramatic sigh. "Ah, always so cold-!" Which makes the guys laugh, and himself involuntarily smile to himself. He sits down, managing to actually place his ass next to you on the couch without instantly retreating for once. You bravely put your legs over his lap, and his mind is beginning to form the same amount of error messages like his PC system the last time he spilled his iced americano over his MIDI-board.

Yet he only grunts on the outside, and takes his phone out to search for something.

You chuckle, mumbling a sorry under your breath and move to slide your legs off of him again, but his unused hand stops them, shifting them back. His fingers are touching the small patch of bare skin on your calf between your leggings and fluffy sock that had slid down a little- and he has to use all of his self-control not to burst into flames.

He's never really had any very close contact with you, and always imagined what your skin may feel like- as creepy as that sounds. The smile he can see you forming from the side of his view makes him relax, as well- the first sign spotted that he might have some sort of effect on you. Taehyung makes a noise, but is silenced by namjoon who pulls him into a conversation to avoid embarrassing the producer, well aware of his own personal dilemma with you. He is the only one who really knows of his feelings towards you- having told yoongi that you actually feel the same way, yet a bit different. You are, according to namjoon, scared to overstep boundaries with Yoongi, worried that he may snap at you like he did a few months back.

There's that certain feeling whenever you do something stupid and then want to apologize, but you miss the chance and now weeks after it's just awkward, so you don't mention it, while also having to deal with the consequences daily.

Yeah. He still thinks of that moment he'd yelled at you sometimes at the most random of times, cringing internally at it. He'd been stressed with the new Album he wanted to put out, having been stuck on one song, and you had just turned up at the wrong time. You didn't cry or anything like that, you simply apologized for opening his studio without knocking, and left with your tail tucked between your legs. Since then however you'd become a bit more distant with him, more careful, and less touchy than you were with the rest of the pack.

He knows you're a sucker for skinship and cuddling, especially as a dog hybrid who's grown up in a carecenter between many other hybrids, yet you also respect if someone wants space. He loves how much attention you pay to your surroundings, eyes always wide open- you remember things for a long time, and you are able to keep track of so many things at once- yet he's also seen your apartment, a glimpse of your more raw personal side that you tend to keep close to yourself. You're a chaotic person, and he doesn't know how you find anything on that desk of yours.

You struggle to keep track of chores and your own health sometimes, yet you try hard, he knows that. And that makes him feel such an extreme need to make sure you're always happy and taken care of, that he's the one to take care of you.

"Oh, YOONGI!" You suddenly gasp at him, and he raises his eyebrows, looking at you as you move around a bit, your hands searching in your sweater pocket for something. "I actually cleaned up my apartment yesterday, and I found this. I think I borrowed it sometime ago, but lost it- sorry for that again by the way, won't happen again I promise!" You say, showing him a black and silver USB stick, your curly tail wagging in excitement.

You're right, that is his. He actually had forgotten about it.

"Took you long enough." He simply says and takes it from you to put it in his own pocket, seconds later cringing at his sentence. He could've definitely phrased that better, or maybe even simply thank you for giving it back even after all this time. Yet the timeframe of saying thank you without making it seem weird or out of place is already overstepped now, so he has to suffer.

Jungkook chimes in instead.

"I helped her get some order back into that place. Poor puppy had been so stressed with work that she couldnt keep up anymore." He says, laughing along with you, and Yoongi lets a chuckle of his own slip. But instead of telling you what a good job you did, or any praise he really wants to tell you, he only pats your leg gently two times, running his thumb over your calf for a second, internally imprinting into his mind how soft your skin is.

You however beam at this, visibly feeding off of his small gesture like a touch starved pet- and he can't help but find it cute.

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A knock on his door makes him look at it, giving a verbal response in a low "Hm?", as he hears your voice from behind it.

You're not really saying anything, just a sound of confusion and discomfort escaping you from behind the door, and he can slowly hear your slippers softly moving away, when he gets up from his chair to open his door to see you stop to look at him. You're standing in front of him with wide eyes and lowered ears, one of them being pulled on by your hand as he can hear the rest of the pack laughing in the main living room of the dorm. He chuckles at that, waving you into his studio, making him and yourself smile. You thank him somewhat quietly, and go to sit down on his small couch he has inside his studio, laying down so your feet still touched the ground as to not overstep any unspoken rules he might have.

Yoongi however walks up to you, and puts your feet up for you, grabbing a spare blanket from besides the couch, something he always kept here since he sleeps in his studio quite often. You thank him quietly for that, the soft buzzing of his studio PC and the nice air conditioning already helping your fuzzy head a lot.

Jumping over your shadow and coming here was a good idea after all, it seems like.

Yoongi sympathizes with you when it comes to headaches- and it's clear from your behavior that you probably have one, which could also explain why you don't really talk, since it probably hurts. Due to the fact that he seems to solely survive off of caffeine and a cup of instant ramen smashed in between his busy schedule, he gets them more often than he would like to admit. Yet he also remembers how you'd told him once how easily your headaches evolved into migraines if you weren't careful, so he is mindful to help you in avoiding that this time. He digs around in his mind for any small excuse to talk to you, yet ultimately decides against it, thinking it would probably be better for you to have as much silence as possible.

He wonders what your secret is.

Namjoon had mentioned something you kept secret 'for a reason', but he wouldn't tell the producer what it could be, not even a hint. You hopefully know that nothing could ever really make Yoongi see you any different than he does right now.

Except maybe murder- but he doubts that that's what you're hiding.

He also knows that Jungkook is aware of it too. Maybe you both are a couple? He does sleep over sometimes after all, seems to be awfully good with calming you down whenever you're anxious or panicking. It's like the young wolf is aware or something Yoongi isn't, able to manage you when you're becoming restless about things.

Another knock is heard. Yoongi attempts to call out- but gets up to walk to the door instead so he won't shout and worsen your headache. It's Jungkook- because of course it is.

"Hey- is- oh, there she is. I was wondering where she went " jungkook says, entering after the rapper walks aside, silently giving him permission to come in. "Hey- everything okay?" Jungkook wonders softly to you, and you quietly shake your head, whining slightly to yourself before you pull down your ears once more over your eyes, clearly signaling your headache to him as well. "I told you to drink more, puppy. Come on, let's get you home." He gently says, helping you sit up.

"She can just nap here, I don't mind." Yoongi offers- but there's something in Jungkook's eyes that seems oddly suspicious as he looks for an answer inside his head it seems like.

"Ah, I'll rather take her home, but thanks hyung." He tells him, averting his gaze as he instead occupies himself with you who's silently reaching out for him, clinging onto him as he picks you up, showing clearly how used to it both of you are. Jungkook holds you almost effortlessly, while you're instinctively laying your head on his shoulder, arms around his neck.

Yeah, you're probably a couple, and you just don't want to say it out loud.

"You know, you could just tell everyone." Yoongi grumbles more or less as he opens the door for the two of you, Jungkooks wide eyes looking at him. "No one's gonna get mad or something if you told them." He shrugs, and Jungkook looks around for a second, on edge. "You're together, right?" He asks, and Jungkook shakes his head- though with a hint of shyness in his face.

"Ah no- hyung.." He sighs. "I'll- she'll explain when she's ready okay?" He says, as you whine into his neck. "I have to bring her home now- thanks for looking after her!" He says already walking away-

leaving Yoongi confused.

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Jungkook honestly wishes you and him were a couple.

But life doesn't work like this, and sadly, you're not into him like that. You see him as a comfort person, a packmate and a friend- but nothing more than that. He remembers when he first 'caught' you in the midst of regressing in your home-

the whole apartment a mess, cluttered and absolutely disorganized.

You're one of only three percent of dog hybrids that fall into a different headspace when stressed or overwhelmed. It's not something you can control, and neither is it a trauma response- it's just nature playing a cruel joke on you, making your mind shut down to a certain degree to protect you. It's like your brain is overprotective- trying to shield you from all potential mental harm.

But all of that comes with a lot of issues and troubles, such as difficulty holding a job, or simple things such as keeping your apartment clean.

Jungkook remembers how terrified you were of him finding you in your messy apartment- having had to calm you down for a good hour or so before he could even attempt at helping you clean up and take care of your needs. He's not sure why you're so adamant on hiding it from the rest of the pack- but he's got an idea.

Dog hybrids with your condition are alienated, isolated, judged terribly. And you're probably terrified of being cast out of the pack for it, leaving you alone and without anybody.

Your personal nightmare.

So he just instead has decided to take care of you, and wait until you feel ready to tell someone else. You deserve happiness and the feeling of safety and comfort, but he can also understand that you're worried of how it'll be taken by the rest of the guys.

And yeah, he also gets to be a little selfish himself when he's got time with you like this. He gets to live out a little dream here and there, where you're actually his to love. Because he does love you, to the moon and back- and he knows his heart will surely break a little one day when you find someone to give your own heart to, instead of him.

So he takes these moments for himself, and enjoys those daydreams for now, until he has to wake up.

"There we go, that's already better isn't it?" Jungkook hums after he'd taken out your hairtie, fingers massaging the spot where it had been pressing against your scalp for the past few hours. You hum in agreement, nodding against his shoulder while you move a bit to get comfortable on his thighs.

You don't even know that you almost exposed your secret to Yoongi of all people- the one wolf of the pack you've got a crush on.

Everyone kind of knows it, everyone also knows about his crush on you as well- though you seem rather talented in finding excuse after excuse as to why that can't be true. Jungkook knows your main fear is what you're right now- and that Yoongi could find you appalling, or childish, or anything else negative that could come to your mind.

And Jungkook can't say he doesn't understand your fear- because he does.

"You're gonna get all stiff if you nap like that." Jungkook chuckles, patting your back a little, making your curled tail wag happily. "Don't be a brat now. Come on, we'll take a nap on the couch, yeah?" He hums. You whine. "No? Not a nap?" He wonders, but you nod now. "Okay, yes to a nap, no to the couch?" He navigates, laughing when you nod now, tail wagging. "Puppy if we nap in bed you'll sleep for hours though." He sighs.

But you simply wiggle out of his lap, before you run to the bedroom-

The wolf hot on your heels, when your doorbell rings.

When Jungkook opens the door, it's Yoongi- the producer holding up a jacket. "She left it at the dorm." He informs Jungkook, who reaches out to take it- though Yoongi holds it back. "I'd like to give it to her myself-"

"You can't." The younger wolf denies, panicking a little when he hears something jingle, and feels the toy hit his back softly, fabric ball tumbling to the ground, bell inside the cotton filling the cause of the noise. Jungkook closes the door a bit more now to keep you out of sight. "Just- uh, she'll grab it tomorrow-"

"Her phone and purse are in the pockets." Yoongi says. "I'm sure she'd like it back right now." He challenges, and Jungkook can feel himself squirm uncomfortably under the strong gaze of his packmate, having to avert his gaze. "What's really going on?" Yoongi asks, as the toy hits Jungkook's back again.

"Look, this is really bad timing right now-" Jungkook whines as he kicks the toy back with his food go occupy you at least for just a second to give himself more time to think of an excuse. "-She's.. not feeling well right now." He tries to justify.

"Jungkook you're not being very convincing right now." Yoongi sighs. "What the fuck is going on? Does she hate me?"

"NO!" Jungkook barks, before he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Ah.. God, fuck, alright." He sighs, defeated, letting the door slowly open more, while he turns around to throw the soft fabric ball towards where you sit on the floor, toy flying over your head, making you flop onto your back as you try to catch it.

You don't even realize it's Yoongi who's now in the doorway whole Jungkook sits in front of you to start a game of tug-of-war with the soft llushy toy with you, successfully pulling your attention away from the producer who just silently enters the apartment, and closes the door behind him before he hangs up your coat.

It takes him one good look to realize what's going on.

The hazy look in your eyes. The way you don't even greet him, rather occupied with the game Jungkook plays with you. Your almost clumsy way of movement.

"So that's the secret?" Yoongi hums as he sits down near his packmate, watching you with an unreadable expression.

Jungkook nods. "She's scared of anyone finding out." He reveals, while he watches you now nibbling on his finger instead of the toy, before you yawn.

"Why?" Yoongi wonders. "It's not like it's her fault or choice." He mumbles.

"Yeah, I know." Jungkook shrugs. "But I get it, you know? You hear horror stories about it all the time. Friends and family being weirded out and stuff." He explains, and Yoongi grows quiet.

It really is understandable.

"So that's why you sleep over so much?" He asks, and the younger wolf nods.

"She used to be triggered easily since she didn't have a person to rely on." He explains. "But when I took on that.. role, I guess, she became more stable. It doesn't happen so randomly anymore, she's got more control over it. Today was just a bad day I guess." He shrugs.

"She must be tough to handle." Yoongi mumbles.

"Not really." Jungkook denies. "She's very sweet. The beginning was hard, yeah, but mostly because I didn't know what to do. These days it's become easier." He nods to himself, though Yoongi doesn't miss the look on his friend's face.

"You love her." He states.

And Jungkook only nods.

"I do." He agrees. "It's hard not to."

Yoongi hums in agreement, and Jungkook wants to be swallowed by the ground. Now that the producer knows, he'll take over the care of you- you'll grow closer, emotionally and physically, and you'll no longer need Jungkook to care for you.

His dream is ending, and he hates it.

"She loves you too." Yoongi offers. Jungkook laughs a little.

"Situationally, yeah." He nods.

"No, in general." Yoongi argues, but he can't seem to push through the thoughts of Jungkooks mind, the wolf having already decided his stance on things. "Jungkook.."

"You'll take good care of her, right?" He asks, looking at his packmate with round eyes that try hard not to let any tears fall. "You'll make sure she doesn't have to.. feel ashamed, or bad, right?"

"I'm not taking her away from you." Yoongi shakes his head, and Jungkook nods.

"I know you're not." He says, trying hard to keep it together even as you crawl into his lap to comfort him, sensing his distress.

"She was never mine to begin with."

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You're absolutely mortified when you're informed of what happened- or rather when you connected the dots yourself, after waking from your nap with both wolves next to you in bed.

One look exchanged with Jungkook signals to him that you've pulled yourself out of your headspace- body shaking now with the overwhelming sense of shame you're feeling as Yoongi sits up now as well to look at you with a sense of worry.

"Hey, it's fine." Jungkook reassures easily. "He doesn't hate you or anything, he's cool with it."

"Oh god this is so weird.." you hide your face in your hands, embarrassed by the events unfolding like this.

"Its not. It makes sense, really." Yoongi shrugs. "So this is why you don't want to move into the pack dorm with us?" He wonders, and you nod.

"Its weird. You can say that, I know myself that it is." You sigh.

"You're not weird." Jungkook shakes his head, taking your hand to reassure you. "Promise."

"I agree. This isn't weird, it's something that happens to some." He shrugs. "I still like you." He says without thinking, as you slowly look at him.

"You.. do?" You wonder, and he nods.

"Very much." He smiles a bit awkwardly, when Jungkook let's go of your hand, clearing his throat.

"I'll.. I'll see myself out then." He mumbles, and at that your head snaps towards him.

No- he can't leave like that. Yoongi might've..somewhat confessed, but you still need him. You still want him here.

Wait.

If Yoongi likes you, and toy like him back, and that leads to you Noth becoming partners, that's great. But if that means you can't have Jungkook, you don't want it. You need jungkook.

You love jungkook, too.

"Hey, Yoongi will stay with you, you're not alone anymore-" He tries to settle your clearly bubbling panic, but its to no avail. Your head is filled with the fact that Jungkook wants to leave, and you don't want that.

You want both. Why can't they both stay?

Your cheeks are wet with tears as your puppy-mind refuses to accept the situation. You've slipped right back again, as you make jungkook hold yoongis hand, before you yourself hold onto them, stubbornly holding onto their connected hands, before you lay down on them, eyes closed and ears pinned back.

"I uh.." Jungkook stampers a big awkwardly, attempt at pulling his hand away responded to with a low growl from you, eyes glaring.

"Seems like we'll have to share." Yoongi teases surprisingly, catching the younger wolf off guard as hemeeys the older one's gaze.

"I mean- uh-" he stammers, unsure. "Is that.. will that even work out?" He worries, while you happily fall asleep hiding both their hands.

"Guess we'll have to find out." Yoongi shrugs, laying down again next to you, Jungkook slowly doing the same a few seconds later.

Looks like his dream didn't end after all-

Maybe it just begun.

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[parznite]

I finished my Dusk Strider Moon and Dawn Walker Sun designs for my DREAMWEAVER AU. You can find more of them under the tag "dreamweaver dca AU" More information below the cut or HERE

DREAMWEAVER ( A DCA AU)

The manifestation of Dreams and Nightmares, two deities that control the Dream and Nightmare Realm separately. Both entities, created by the cosmos to protect enlighten mortals of the reasons for their dreams. One of pure dream essence while the other condensed nightmare fuel. While the two deities are very opposite, they work together on the fine line of balance. The two of them having their own wisps that they send out to do their bidding for them while they discuss more important matters. Usually entering the mortal realm to take in the sights and observe the ways of mortals. Dawn Walker blessing those with wonderful thoughts of dreams and daydreaming fantasies. While Dusk Strider instils anxiety and fear, allowing doubts to shine for nightmares later.

Dawn Walker or Sundrop; is the protector and guardian of the Dream Realm. A positive deity with a love of watching others accomplish their wildest dreams and willing them to pursuit them. Dawn usually has his overly ambitions dreams twisted into partial nightmares when Dusk adds his own touch of terror. Dawn has Dream Wisps that carry onto mortals during the day so they may have fulfilling dreams. Similar to Dusks Nightmare Wisps, they are pure essence of which realm they carry. Sometimes colliding with one another, which is a good explanation for those dreams that take a sudden turn.

Dusk Strider or Moondrop; is the protector and guardian of the Nightmare Realm. A pessimistic optimist who dabbles doubts to one throughout the day so night terrors shine at night. Sometimes his nightmare fuel gets out of hand, bringing stronger terrors to peoples minds than anticipated. When this happens, Dusk feels terrible, usually urging Dawn to bring enlightenment the following night. Dusk doesn't like his purpose as much as one would think, usually instilling the doubts for others on himself so mortals will not have to feel that burden.

The two of them compliment each other very well when it comes to their powers. Dawn doing what he can to soothe the nightmares Dusk brings to himself and others. While most do not like the nightmares Dusk brings, he knows his powers are just as important. Dusk usually works very closely with Dawn to ensure the doubts he instils aren't to much for a mortal to handle. Usually having the Nightmare wisps do most of his work. Hoping it will allow his mind an ease encase the fuel burns to bright and he has to take the pain upon himself.

Dawn hates knowing his partner suffers from his own terrors at times, but always reassures Dusk that his terrors aren't real. He knows he doesn't mean to bring the negativity all the time, seeing the efforts he puts in to bring said terrors to himself so others can rest easy.

While they have their disagreements at times, they know they couldn't live without each other. Complimenting each other as companions and partners. Through their journies to the mortal realm, they often find themselves with piqued curiosity. Choosing a mortal they will follow with the understanding they are invisible to those around them. That is until they encountered someone who can see them and their antics. Interesting the deities, they decided to drop in on the life of the moral more to discover the wonders of mortals. While also discovering themselves in the process.

The two are painfully unaware that others around them can hear and see them, assuming no one can. Which is why Y/N seeing them is such a big deal to them.. maybe someone should tell them? Occasionally through their travels, Dawn Walker and Dusk Strider find themselves running into the agent of chaos who rules over the limbo. The realm in between the Dream and Nightmare realm, where wisps get lost and dreams fall on deaf ears. Twilight Stalker or Eclipse, a deity who sees more fun in what lies in the middle of the realms, than the joys or horrors of either side. While he isn't the most prominent in their lives, he always seems to pop in when you least expect him too.

[hackedmotionsensors]

lol i've complained about this a fair amount on twitter but I got a comment last night? that made me think about this again.

And its ...getting weird comments that I cannot tell if they're being RUDE or there's a language barrier or some combination of both.

I finished a standee art last night and posted it and this morning I get a reply from someone who's replied very confusingly before...."You're tired and need to go to sleep"

Which LMAO wasn't entirely untrue but that was the whole comment on the art.

Not to put this person on blast and obviously do not go bother them if you know where the comment is at.....

But like what the hell does that mean? I F E E L like this is a translation error or a miscommunication. But thats the ENTIRE problem. THAT IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. I'm tired of getting comments that are CONFUSING to me AT BEST...and more often just fucking rude.

Like....its weird. Bc i've been on the internet for close to 3 decades now??? Lol I'm so old. But.....I've been more confused in the past year or so with how people talk to perfect strangers on the internet. I think it might be a generational thing but like LMAO ARE THE "KIDS THESE DAYS" just ......fucking RUDE??? Like I've heard pre-teens and teens talk to each other and its pretty mean but so were a lot of kids when I was a teen. So maybe its a language barrier there.

But I feel like....because everyone is so comfortable talking to perfect strangers on the internet, and getting EXTREMELY overly close? or thinking they have the right to speak to people as if we're super besties (which in turn means saying a rude backhanded compliment thats intended to be nice but just sounds mean??)...its just....so common lately for me to just be like "Why the fuck would you say this to me?"

I'm not your friend. I'm just a random artist online that draws from a fandom you probably like (or hate? Idk your life lol)

I think this whole thing STARTED with Japanese and Korean artists (and probably lots of other languages that aren't English) begging people to stop leaving horrible reaction images or people saying "I'M GONNA K*LL YOU!!!!! THIS IS DEVASTATING!!!! I'M DEAD!!!!" and the poor artist being like...okay well this is a thing I have to live with now.

And I thought we DID move past that but I feel like its back just without the reaction images bc Gen Alpha and Z thinks reaction images are cringe LMAO (small blessings)

But ....I forget which drawing I did.....It was something sad. I think it was a sad zosan?? And this person LITERALLY said they were going to hunt me down. And that wasn't the initial comment. They said something equally as rude and when I asked for clarification for what they meant they were like " I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE"

GIRL ITS FANART OF ZORO AND SANJI!?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Again. I've talked about this til I'm blue in the face (fingers?? since its typing??) about this on twitter. And I've been sitting on this comment for nearly 24 hrs just....fucking confused. And I hate this ....confusion. Bc In My Day(tm) .....lol I didn't like mean comments then either but it was usually some asshole in my tumblr mail being like "YOU FUCKIN SUCK!!" lol

I might just be too stupid to interpret these quirky little comments but like

guys please if you like something. Just be normal and say "omg I love this" or like a cute reaction that is APPROPRIATE to the situation lol Don't demand things from me when I'm already giving you something that I'm doing in my free time for fun. Lol And stop asking me if there's a fic for comics or art that i TELL you came from me asdfasdfa I don't know where the fic is. I'd like to know too. (but also if I draw from a fic I link to the fic but I've decided to stop that for the time being. Any comics coming from me will be mine wholecloth for the foreseeable future)

[realhumanithink]

coming back online to share to the world my list of evan things. if you relate to most these things i title you Evan Rosier Kin

note: all of these are headcanons and may not align with how you perceive evan. most of these are inspired by like tiktoks and stuff, but otherwise its mostly things based on me because i literally remind myself of evan so much

another note: phrasing of these may be harsh!! im not targetting anyone fyi, and i dont mean harm, but i wrote most of these in a fit of self-hatred and when i reread them, i realised "hey, this sounds like evan lol" so i brushed it up a bit, but there might still be harsh wording and accusations

last note!!!: i have no fucking personality and im using this to self-reflect so my fault lmao

wants to be an overachiever, a hard worker, but in reality is just a gifted kid who hasn't fully burned out and is too lazy to actually work hard.

30000 different genres of songs on spotify. wonders if that means you have no personality.

sometimes wonders if people would miss you when you’re gone. doesn't think so.

knows 6 different languages, not good at any.

can't take criticism.

ambiverted. wonders if this means you have no personality.

likes a style, but isn't sure you would look good in it.

supposed ‘smart and nice’ kid, but that's who you were 4 years ago. people still hold the same view of you. 

high standards. you've been brainwashed into thinking u can meet them but sometimes, u aren't so sure.

covers the parts of your face u dont like with hair. bonus points if it's a regular ass haircut like a fringe and your parents hate it.

gets overly clingy in friendships. not like physically clingy but mentally?? if you get me

wanna be insomniac. thing is, it just takes you a bit longer to fall asleep.

fluctuating confidence levels

feels like a second choice, always.

cringe culture holds you back from enjoying what you want to enjoy.

the people around you don't seem to care as much as you do. whenever you succeed, you look back and no one is cheering like you always do. sometimes, it feels like you are average or lower, but the people you are compared to are simply even lower and that's why you are supposedly ‘good’.

*does well* “duh, *** is always so good. they don't deserve praise” *doesn't do well or actually just does average* “*** DIDNT DO WELL OHHHH”.

when someone compliments you, you feel pressured to uphold their standard and wonder how long it'll take till they realise you arent so good.

EXAMPLE because my wording is shit: someone told me i was funny and since then ive been scared to text him because i was like 'oh fuk what if when i talk to him next im not funny enough'

deathly afraid of being cheesy/cliche. this holds you back from showing much affection, especially romantic.

shoes are worn half to death.

your answer to theoretical questions is always ‘depends’. wonders if that means-

everyone thinks your friends ‘influence’ you, but really you’re as whack as them, just not as obvious.

a group of people you hate significantly less than everyone else, and one person you love

[salemcantupdate]

Ok

Baldurs Gate shipping and who I am actively in love with

SO, currently romancing Gale because Astarion rejected me, full one said “I don’t wanna have sex with you, UGH, EW, imagine.” But Gale is so cute??? I don’t get whenever I see hate for him, especially cause we had astral projection sex which was absolutely fantastic. Wyll kissed me but I said “haha nah Gale” and I think I accidentally romanced Karlach??? I don’t know. Oh I also hugged the Guardian love him.

Now for shipping

SHADOWHEART AND LAE’ZEL IS SO FUCKING REAL TO ME OH MY GOD THEY GOTTA GET DOWN RIGHT NOW

They ARE rivals to lovers

Wyll and Karlach… they’re best friends. I’m sorry but all the women look like absolutely lesbians to me and I love that for them

But Wyll is so sweet and so cute and I do adore him, he’s so fun, but I built him so badly haha. Anyways, he is a WHORE, he flirts with EVERYONE, SLUT BOY, and he needs a happy ending. Don’t know with who though. And Karlach needs a short woman to peg.

Astarion is 100% asexual and I love him cause he’s just like me frfr which means he needs to be with me and only me. But also genuinely I think Astarion can only be happy with a redeemed Durge??? Like I think that’s the best path for him. Two monsters learning to be good together… GAH ITS SO CUTE. Either way, he’d need to be with someone who isn’t overly horny

Also once again I absolutely adore Gale. Gale is so good and so loving and he also absolutely loves body worship like he is hozier he was on his knees and worshipping his Goddess Mystra, loving her and now HE CHOOSES YOU IN HIS ROMANCE. HE BDKDCJKWHCISJDKWJD. I love him, so who should he be with? He’s more on the basic side overall, easy to get approval from, but also extremely romantic and loving, and autistic just like me frfr. So… actually maybe Wyll??? Wyll has some self worth issues especially after going all devil and Wyll is also a romantic? But ehhh… I dunno, it just doesn’t feel right.

Anyways, Halsin. I love the daddy bear man like YES he is absolutely fantastic and I love him so so so so much I want him carnally. But also I can’t really see him with most people haha. Maybe Gale though, imagine the astral projection scene but then Halsin is a bear, that’d be hilarious. But nah, I honestly like Halsin/Astarion/Reformed Durge Throuple. Essentially, finishing Astarion’s personal quest before initiation with Halsin will ensure that Astarion doesn’t get any self doubt. They are all on different parts of their journey for improvement, both Halsin and Astarion have severe issues with self doubt along with sexual trauma, and all of them have a “beast” inside. Durge with the Urge, Astarion being a vampire, and Halsin with his difficult-to-control wild shape. Plus Halsin to me is one of the most respectful and consent-focused characters, which I think would work well with what Astarion needs.

Ok so I wanna ship Karlach with some cute bard girl or something, someone just as fun and nice as she is. And you know what? Wyll and Gale is starting to grow on me. They’re both characters who try to “woo” Tav before doing anything, Gale with the Weave and Wyll with his dance.

Imagine, Gale teaching Wyll the secrets of the weave, likely Wyll has never interacted with it properly as his magic comes from a devil. This could help unlock Wyll and on some level separate him from Mizora. Oh wow, both these men have been manipulated and abused by extremely powerful non-humanoid women. They’re both self sacrificing gits who want to be the hero, both sacrificed much for power. I think it would start when Mizora first appears in camp, maybe. Gale would go to comfort Wyll over the transformation, maybe even compliment his horns. During the night of celebration Gale would see Wyll by the beach and offer to show him something magical, aka the Weave scene. They make some jokes and Wyll mentions the dancing, Gale prods, and Wyll says maybe another time.

GAH

I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING GENIUS

Alright, so, summary

Lae’zel and Shadowheart

Karlach and cute girl (if Alfira survived Durge I’d choose her but oh well)

Durge, Astarion, and Halsin

Gale and Wyll

EDIT: This post is no longer accurate to my views or feelings on the matter! I will write another one eventually since I actually know the characters a lot better. This was legit written before I even got to act 2 and I barely did anything in act 1

[youaremycosmo]

《i'm jelly, baby》 taemin x reader scenario

someone said here she's going to write more scenarios this year... T.T Word count// 3,925 words

Pairing// Taemin x you

Summary// You're going on a really short business trip. And Taemin hates it so much, especially after he met your handsome boss a few weeks ago.

Genre// fluffiest fluff

Warnings// if you're reading at night, be careful of white screenshots that may kill your eyesight T.T little dirty jokes, not much ^.^

MASTERLIST

- Oh, I forgot to tell you something - you suddenly declared, reaching for a glass of water as you ate dinner. It was Friday afternoon, and you came from work about 2 hours ago, then cooked something nice for you both. You didn't really have any plans today, just wanted to relax in each other's company after a long, full of duties week.

- What is this? - Taemin asked, catching a glimpse of you, but then returned his attention to the plate again. He always ate everything you cooked as if he had been starving for at least two days, which never failed to amuse you. Instead of anger, you considered it as a good compliment though.

- I have to go on a business trip tomorrow. Not a delegation, more like a short training - you knew you were practically dropping a bomb right now. You should have told him earlier, but expecting his reaction... you preferred to admit that as late as possible.

Taemin's eyes shot towards you again, this time gazing hard. - Delegation? - he put down his chopsticks, suddenly forgetting about dinner.

- Training. With my co-workers - you shrugged, leaning hard in your chair. It wasn’t that you were afraid of something, but knew Taemin wouldn’t leave this information with a simple “okay, have a good time”. - Well, you know, from time to time they want to increase our competencies and motivation in the office, so they send us on such trips - you explained carefully. - Two days. I'll be back on Sunday - you assured him with a soft smile.

- Two days? - he groaned quietly, frowning. You could easily see how his mood changed in a second. - Can't you say you're busy? I wanted to take you on a date tomorrow… 

- It's mandatory, Taeminnie -  you shrugged, biting your lip. - I'll go quickly and come back quickly, you'll see. You won't even notice I'm gone - you added in hope it would cheer him up at least just a little. But who were you trying to fool?

- Sure -  Taem muttered sadly, looking down for a moment. - Since you're going for two days, where will you sleep? - the next question was asked so quickly.

- In the hotel, I actually need to drive… - you scratched your nape, deep in thought. - Like… 70 kilometers there? They rent a conference room for us, then we’ll have a campfire - you started to eat again.

- Need me to drive you maybe? - his eyes suddenly shone, as he straightened up with this idea. 

- Um… - you frowned and reached for his arm to caress it. - Thank you, Taeminnie, but i’ll be fine - you noticed as his shoulders fell down again. Taemin didn't look overly convinced. In fact, you could see his mood turn sour even more. His tone of voice wasn't even accusatory, just blindsided. That's why you pretended that you forgot about that trip, otherwise Tae would have been walking around and sulking so much for a whole month. 

- Will your boss be there too? - you choked slightly on the piece of meat, immediately reaching for a glass of water again. Tae wanted to get up, but you quickly showed him with your hand that everything was fine. - What type of question is this? - you asked indignantly as soon as you regained your breath. - Yes, he works with me, so he'll be there. It's normal.

- I wish he weren't there - he hissed through clenched teeth. - Not only do you work for so long, you see him five times a week, but now you go on a business trip with him. You see your boss more than your fiancé, really - Taem whined so miserably, digging into his food.

- Taeminnie, it's only one weekend - you said, trying to comfort him somehow. - And when I come, you'll take me on a date, okay? Or maybe we'll go somewhere next weekend? Hm? You’ll plan something great, I'm sure… - you praised him, but it didn’t seem to work. Taemin only nodded absent-mindedly. - But... it’s not like you’re going to be in the same hotel room, right? - he still enquired, which started to tire you out. 

- Of course not, baby - you rolled your eyes. - If someone is going to be in my room, it’ll be a female friend, I promise. Now please eat, I took my time to make a meal for us - you empathized, wanting to end this interrogation for good. 

All you could hear was a loud sigh. Was Taemin really 25 years old and not 10? ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

It was supposed to be a quick packing before watching a movie in a soft, comfortable bed, but Taemin had other plans.

His watchful eyes carefully followed every single thing put into the bag for a few minutes now, fortunately in full silence. 

By the time. - Why are you packing such pretty pajamas? - he suddenly pointed out, furrowing his brows.

You glanced at the pink pajamas in your hands. Just a t-shirt and shorts, nothing special. Girly thing to wear at night.

- Normal pajamas, what do you want? - you were similarly outraged.

- Will anyone be there to watch you? You don't sleep in these usually - Taem muttered, getting up and going to the dressing room.

- Well, I usually sleep in your clothes… - you answered under your breath, following him to grab your underwear this time.

- This will be better - he handed out to you his T-shirt and sweatpants. They were equally casual clothes for sleeping, just... a bit embarrassing if any of your co-workers was going to see you. It was immediately obvious that you had stolen it from a man’s wardrobe.

- No thanks, I prefer my own -  you decided,  pulling out your panties.

- Why do you choose such nice underwear? - he asked again, his voice higher than usual.

- Taemin, gosh, I took the first one from the drawer, calm down - you said, already slightly irritated, taking a deep breath when he started looking for something in your panties.

- Take these - he handed you what was probably the most worn out pair.

- Oh, I didn’t notice it, I thought I threw them all away after I bought new ones - you raised your brow, taking them from his hand but only to throw them into the trash. - So, should I just sleep without any, since there’s a problem with my underwear? - you asked, now teasing him.

- What? Of course not, wait… a moment… - he sounded puzzled, and you heard him rummage around again, finally coming up with black, most basic underwear.

- So these panties are approved by Lee Taemin for me to wear on my butt? - you almost chucked, throwing them into your bag. - Okay... I guess that’s all...? - you asked yourself, but then a dirty idea came to your mind. Not joking around with him in this situation was simply a crime. - Oh, no, I forgot… - you turned your attention to him, one hundred percent serious. - Can you lend me some condoms? You know, not all men remember them like you do... - you smiled sweetly.

The way Taemin widened his eyes, looking like he saw a ghost for a split second and his jaw just dropped was worth anything in the world. Unfortunately, he quickly snorted under his breath, sending you a murderous look.  - Very funny, tearing off my sides - Taem hissed, and climbed onto the bed again.

- Well, I should protect myself, right? - you bit the tip of your tongue, obviously satisfied with your teasing.  As a result, a pillow flew towards you, which you didn’t manage to catch.

- I'll get you sick leave soon and you won't go anywhere - he moaned like an offended little boy.

- I don't understand why you're so nervous, tiger - this time you blew him a kiss. - This is integration training and you're acting like I'm going... to cheat on you - you zipped your bag, shrugging your shoulders.

- I would be calmer if there wasn't a person named Choi Minho -  he grumbled, his eyes following you.

- He's my boss, he must be there - you put your bag on the floor and with a wide smile you climbed onto the bed, sitting on his lap. Taemin immediately wrapped his arms around your waist. - And I have a lot of competition there, you don't even know how many of my co-workers chirp - you clasped your hands and placed them next to your cheek. - "Minho-ssi, you're so smart, I couldn't do it without you" - you moved them to the other side. “Minho-ssi, why don't you have lunch with me, you must be hungry” - you added, rolling your eyes.

- Competition? - he seemed even more worried. - So you're trying too? - his eyes, so big and brown, stared at you innocently.

- No, Tae, could you not trip me up on my words?  I don't understand why you've been so mad at him since he came here... Are you angry that he came over for a moment? It won't happen again, if that's a problem for you  - you swore to him with complete sincerity. 

- I'm not angry - he swallowed, looking down for a moment. - He's just... he's handsome... and manly... and he's your boss... and he's well-built - he started listing. - So... I'm not surprised if you liked him more than me… 

- But you're the one complimenting him - you replied, unimpressed. - Yes, a lot of people look after him, but I already have a fiancé - you hugged him tightly. - Even more handsome... and manly... and he's not just the boss, because he's the co-owner of the studio, and he's well-built too... - you pulled away slightly to lift his shirt and show his tummy. - Definitely well-built - you said flirtatiously, giving him a wink.

Taemin laughed, clearly embarrassed, and slipped the material from your hand, covering himself. - You think so? - he asked quietly, looking into your eyes.

This was one of the moments where you knew there’s no space for teasing anymore. - I know that - you answered, placing a sweet, short kiss on his lips. - I'll be a good fiancée, I promise - you smiled broadly, stroking his hair. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

- Oh, did you put in the ring? - Taemin asked out of the blue in the middle of saying goodbye, lifting your hand. Of course, he asked about the engagement ring, which was so damn expensive that you were afraid to walk around with for fear of losing it. Or that someone will cut off your hand along with that. What a great choice. 

- Yes, I did - you let out a loud sigh. - Anyone from two meters will see that I'm already taken - you grumbled, staring at him as he was kissing your ring. 

- Are you sure you don't want that hickey? - he asked bluntly, staring carefully at your face again.

- Taemin, this isn't elementary school, I'll burn with embarrassment - you answered, removing your hand from his grip. 

- Maybe a small one, behind the ear? -Taem asked again, completely undaunted by your reaction. It was like he already sank into his own world, in which any man passing you on the street could be the one snatching you from him. 

- This one is doing quite well - you lifted your shirt, showing him the hickey he gave you yesterday on your lower stomach - I don't know who is going to see it, but let it be - you crouched down to put on your shoes.

- It's just in case... in case you forgot... that you have a fiancé - he muttered, and you shook your head. So ridiculous, but you didn’t even have time to discuss it with him.

- Everyone knows you are my fiancé. And now I really have to go - you said, straightening up and trying to take your things. - So… see you tomorrow, right?

- Wait, no goodbye kiss for me? - he grumbled, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a kiss. He was far from sweet and innocent, his lips immediately dominated you, leaving you completely breathless. Soon you were pinned against the wall, fully absorbed into passionate brushing your lips against his. And when he made sure they could kiss only him, he decided to take his time on marking you again.

- I… Taemin… - you tried to say as he was holding your cheek and giving you multiple smooches here and there. - You’re… ruining… my makeup… - you whined, trying to push him from you a little. Like yesterday's intense lovemaking wasn’t enough. 

Taem didn’t look concerned by that, his lips continuously pressing to your forehead, nose, cheeks and chin until he finally decided to back away. 

You couldn’t help, but immediately glanced over at yourself in the mirror and pursed your lips into straight line as you noticed red patches everywhere on your face due to overflowing affection from your fiancé. 

- Baby, drive carefully, okay? And send me a message when you arrive - he asked lovingly, letting you go with visible dissatisfaction.

- Don’t worry, I'll write to you -  you assured in a low voice, taking your things and trying to leave the apartment. You really needed to hurry up to be on time.  - Y/n? - he asked again when you were about to close the door. You run your fingers across your eyelids in slight annoyance. Sometimes you really had to have the patience of a saint for Taem and his lovey-dovey nature. - Yes, Taeminnie? - you replied as calmly as possible, opening them again. Taemin suddenly looked down. It looked like he was thinking intensively for a second before his dark, puppy eyes met with yours again. 

- I love you -  he said with a bit of uncertainty, biting his lip. - And… I'll be waiting for you here, okay? - Tae added with a little pout. You felt your heart melted hearing that. You just couldn’t be mad at him, when he acted so adorably and… was just in love with all his heart and soul. - I know, Tae - you smiled warmly. - I love you too. Very, very much - you whispered enough for him to hear. You could see as he smiled so brightly at those words, before you left for good.  ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Your training just couldn't be uninterrupted, and you had felt your phone vibrate in your pocket again and again for the last twenty minutes. At first you really tried to ignore it, but soon your thoughts took a different direction as more messages were delivered.

Did something happened? Nobody sends so many texts at once...

You tried to discreetly look around, sensing if a lack of focus for a moment would be noticed. Fortunately, it seemed like nobody paid attention to you, so finally you decided to take out the phone under the table.

And mentally rolled your eyes.

This time you looked up from your phone and flinched slightly when you saw Minho's sharp gaze as he was sitting across from you. He didn't have to say or show anything, you could immediately sense that you were already in trouble.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

- I thought you were going to the studio today - it was the first thing you said, when Taemin answered the phone. He didn’t need more than 3 seconds, to be exact. 

- I was in the studio!  - he said indignantly.

- When, since you wrote every half an hour?  - you made fun of him a little, trying to get comfortable on the pillow. One thing you had to admit, Taemin probably spoiled you too much with the mattress in your bedroom, bought because it was especially for desk workers and all the soft pillows. 

- I wrote when I had a break, I don’t dance all the time - he groaned quietly. - What I was supposed to do, I’ve done. Are you going to sleep? - he immediately changed the tone of his voice. - How was it anyway? - Tae got so much quieter and calmer, as he sensed you were preparing for sleep. 

- Sitting and listening -  you muttered, sighing. - It's not the most entertaining thing in the world, at least on the weekend… 

- See, if you just stayed with me...

- Ah, how many times do I have to tell you that it's beyond my control? - you raised your voice a little, already so irritated by his words. - Do you think I want to sit here? - you asked, maybe a little too sharp, then let out a deep breath. - I want to go on a date too... - you admitted quietly, your fingers nibbling on the sheets.

Taemin stayed quiet for a moment before you heard his warm, beaming laugh. - Arasso, arasso - he replied in a warbling tone. - I promise I'll make it up to you, right? As soon as you arrive, okay? Don't be mad... don't be mad... - he purred, while making kissing sounds through the phone that you couldn't help but giggle at. - Better? - he asked and you bit your lip slightly.

- It would be better to feel it - it was already a whisper, since things like that were difficult for you to confess. And Taem knew about it. Still, he seemed a little surprised as he made a little longer pauses before he said anything.

- Tomorrow you’ll get as much as you need, baby - Tae assured lovingly. - I promise, I can kiss you all day, and all night, if you want. 

- I’m sure you aren’t lying - you answered, already imagining it. Somehow, you started to feel how the other half of the bed was empty, left only for you. 

- I won’t torment you more today - he chuckled gently. - You probably really want to sleep, and I'm just a sticker, so… sleep well - you could hear the sincerity in his tender voice. - You worked hard today, and I’m really proud of you. Like, when did my girl grow up so much? - Taem sighed happily, which gave your tummy a funny feeling. You settled yourself more in the pillow, biting your lip. 

- Taem? - you said hesitantly, despite you were repeating it for almost 10 years now. 

- Yes, baby? 

This time you took a slight pause before speaking again. - I love you - you admitted affectionately, which made him giggle. 

- I’m all red now because of you - he whined, but still so amused. - How am I going to sleep now? I think I may love you too - Tae joked, and you rolled your eyes. 

- May love? You’ll regret it as soon as I arrive - you snorted under your breath. - Goodnight, Taem. 

- Goodnight, my princess. Dream only about me - he answered, but didn’t disconnect. You stayed in the silence for a few seconds more, just listening to his slow, calm breaths before you ended the call with slight regret.

You turned off the bedside light and made yourself comfortable on the pillow before closing your eyes. But immediately you corrected yourself again. This bed really wasn't cosy. And that pillow… was so thin. You reached for the other one and tried to position your head better. This bedding, so scratchy. It was already getting hot, even though you had only been under her for a few minutes. Taemin always asked if you wanted to turn the sheets over when he felt it might be too hot for you. But now you had to do it yourself. Cooler. And still scratchy. And so quiet. It should be fine, you were fed up with all the blabbering for all day, along with Taemin, who was behaving like a preschooler whose favorite toy had been stolen. You laid there for a good hour, with all sorts of thoughts running through your head… Until you finally realized why you couldn't fall asleep. It wasn't the wrong sheets or the uncomfortable bed, it bothered you… that no one bothered you. There was no weird man who, as soon as you got into bed, hugged your back tightly and never let go, there was no talking about total nonsense before going to sleep, and there was no his yawning and calm breathing. You opened your eyes, wondering what to do. Taemin was probably just talking nonsense about how he couldn't fall asleep without you, and now he was probably hugging his pillow, long since drifting off to dreamland. The strong light from your phone illuminated your face, making you moan softly before you dimmed it. You bit your lip lightly as you wrote another message. Just to make sure you were right. You weren't right. Taem answered it in like 2 seconds, just like your call before.

This was just pointless. You locked your phone and thought about what you were about to do for a little more before turning the light. Then, you quickly left the bed and began to pack your things. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

You sighed deeply, finally entering code to your apartment. All the driving in the night made you even more tired and sleepy, so you just dreamed about lying in bed. You turned on the light in the corridor, and your eyes immediately saw Taemin with ruffled hair, looking so surprised. His eyes weren’t sleepy though. 

- Are you back? Did you miss me? - he asked, suddenly bright-eyed and bushy tailed.

You decided to take off your shoes, turning your back to him. Seeing him made you feel embarrassed. You simply couldn’t admit you actually felt the same. 

- I was cold under the covers - you replied quietly without much emotion. You heard Taemin chuckle at your words before his hands wrapped around your body, lifting you up. You didn't resist him, immediately hugging him so it was easier to carry you to bed.

- I couldn't sleep without you either - he purred smugly, carrying you to the bedroom. Taem helped you undress and soon you were lying on the familiar sheets, with him snuggling into your right side as close as possible. But this wasn’t what you needed today. So, without a word, you turned your back to him. 

- Why? - he whined outraged, lifting up a little. 

- Shhh, let me sleep - you reprimanded him, taking his hand and pulling it. You intertwined fingers with him and put it next to your cheek, as Taemin finally hugged you with a giggle. 

- Oh, you must be missing me a lot, baby - he said, kissing your nape. Fortunately, he was probably so tired that it was the last thing said that night. 

You smiled softly, closing your eyes.

Better. Much better. And of course, you missed him a lot.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

To Mama Rosehearts: (calmly but sarcastically) Oh, hello. You must be Mrs. Rosehearts. How do you do on this fine day? Forgive me for staring but I must say, you look quite stunning, madame. Your haircut really suits your face. (Mama Rosehearts asks about Riddle) Riddle? Oh don't worry about him, he's doing fine. He always had a knack for keeping things under control. Unlike some people.

Aaaand here’s the big one… the final boss of Family Day…

I tried to write this with a nuanced look at Mama Rosehearts, as I felt this was the most fitting for TWST’s themes of grey morality (which also comes through in the OB boys). No one is truly 100% evil, and I didn’t want to just have her screaming at other people 💦

Mama Rosehearts’s parenting methods are overly controlling, she’s uncompromising, and she has a bad temper. But in her eyes, she believes what she’s doing is genuinely the best for her son, and she’s also protective of him. She absolutely cares for Riddle in spite of her strictness. I wanted those aspects of her character to be present too, not just the worst parts of her that we tend to hate.

Family means Nobody is Left Behind or Forgotten.

The problem with bad apples, you sometimes thought to yourself (blame Epel for sticking the apple metaphors in your head), is that they appear so normal at a glance. It’s hard to tell they’re rotten until you’ve had a close look for yourself.

Gazing at Mrs. Rosehearts, you’re shaken. Your mental image of her, cobbled together by hushed words and wisps of shadow, was always that of a monster—the kind that caged children and relished in feeding them lies, keeping them ensnared and submissive. Mother knows best. Listen to your mother. It’s a scary world out there.

She stood before you in blood red heels, wrapped in a smart business suit and modest pencil skirt in the same shade. Her hands were adorned in tulle gloves, sheer enough to grant a glimpse at her immaculate nails. Arms folded, head high, she was poised like an imposing queen before delivering her judgment.

Her eyes a blue-grey, red hair tightly pulled back and secured by a hair clasp. Even her bangs were cut the same, two locks atop her head curling into a heart-like shape. Mrs. Rosehearts was the spitting image of Riddle—or was it more accurate to say that he was a spitting image of her?

But if she was a monster, and Riddle, the same as her…

The terrified expressions of Heartslabyul students blitzed through your mind. The garden and its roses falling apart around them.

“He… He was really gonna do it…”

“He’s completely out of control.”

“He’s like some kinda monster!”

You couldn’t tear your eyes away. They quivered, burning with an indescribable intensity.

“Hello.” Her first came clipped, cutting right by your greeting and fabricated compliment. “I can’t say I care for your tone of voice.”

Mrs. Rosehearts diverted her attention from you and to the young man standing in her shadow. “Riddle. They seem know you, but surely this one doesn’t belong to your dormitory?”

You could barely recognize him. The Riddle you knew was serious and strict—but he was also someone who loved to tend to the hedgehogs, and adored tea parties in the garden. His smile could practically make the flowers bloom.

But now he was less of a blossoming rose and more of a shrinking violet, most traces of his confidence wiped away. He diligently trailed behind his mother, appearing even smaller than usual. Meeker, and less sure of himself.

A remnant of Riddle. Not a rose-red ruler, but just a sad little child.

You stared at him helplessly, and he refused to meet your eyes.

“No, mother.” A trained, automatic response. “They are not a student of Heartslabyul.”

“I thought so,” Mrs. Rosehearts sniffed, unimpressed but satisfied. She silently noted your untucked shirt, stray hair, and crooked tie. “They’re far too ungroomed to be someone under your rule.

“And here I was, worrying that you had fallen in with the wrong crowd again. You aren’t still hanging around those horrid Clover and Pinker boys, are you?”

Trey and Che’nya. Your stomach churned, upset for them in their absence.

“Well…” Riddle fidgeted uneasily. Unable to tell a lie, and lacking the courage to tell the truth.

You took the chance to cut in, your eyes close to burning a hole in his mother. “Oh, don't worry about him. Riddle’s doing fine. He’s always had a knack for keeping things under control, unlike some people.”

Mrs. Rosehearts frowned at the insinuation. Her next words could make flowers freeze over. “You’d do well to learn some control yourself. This conversation is between a mother and her son.”

She placed a protective hand on his upper back and gave a slight nudge. “Come, Riddle. We wouldn’t want to be late to speak with your professors.“

“Yes…” He reluctantly turned away from you, trying to focus on the road head. At the path already chosen for him.

You couldn’t help yourself. Your feet fell forward, and you called after him.

“Riddle…!!”

“That’s quite enough,” Mrs. Rosehearts snapped. Her cheeks colored red with rage as she stepped between you and Riddle. “I don’t know who you think you are, sticking your nose in our affairs like this!! I won’t have another unruly child and their bad attitude invading my son’s life—not again!”

Anger surged in your chest. There were so many things you wanted to tell her, things she couldn’t possibly know because she never bothered to entertain them.

Riddle likes strawberry tarts. He doesn’t care if the roses are white, or if the flamingos are pink. And he prefers honey to sugar cubes in his tea, and milk tea over lemon tea. After a meal, he wants to sits and talk with everyone.

The smart thing to do, you thought, is to bite my tongue, or else it’ll just lead to a pointless screaming match.

But you weren’t so smart. Your opened your mouth, prepares to let loose a torrent to challenge her.

What rang out instead, loud and clear, was a boy’s authoritative voice.

“Excuse me, mother!”

"Yes, Riddle? You have something to add?"

“I..." He caught his still-quivering words and straightened. A quiet resolve burned in his steely eyes. "Those selected by the Mirror of Darkness boast exceptional potential and strong moral character. That holds true for myself, as well as my peers. I will not underestimate them, and nor should you."

Mrs. Rosehearts pursed her lips.

"They are worthy rivals that are deserving of respect," Riddle continued, "and they will continue to push me to excel. That is all I wished to say.

"Now then, we should be on our way. We're running late for a very important date with the teaching staff."

His mother looked as though she had a rebuttal, with her brows knitted and the color of her mouth vanishing. Riddle held his breath—and you weren’t sure if it was safe to take one.

"... We will discuss this at a later time," she declared at last. “We need to stay on schedule.”

Riddle released the air in his lungs, and you took a sharp intake.

Mrs. Rosehearts turned away, tossing an icy farewell to the wind. “Good day to you.”

She led her son down the street, saying something to him in a hushed tone. You couldn’t tell what sort of expression Riddle was making, but he held his head high the entire time, like a defiant rosebud in a bed of snow.

When they had finally disappeared into the horizon, you let yourself smile. He’s come into his own… even if just a little.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

An overly passionate post about Hank Pym and Jan Van Dyne

I’d like to preface this by saying Hank Pym is my favorite Ant-man and that I don’t think he deserves all the hate and controversy he gets, however I’ve noticed a lot of his fans tend to villainize Jan Van Dyne for reasons that I think are personally sort of stupid. A lot of Hank’s fans try to defend him by painting Wasp as a creep who took advantage of him during a psychotic break/the time when he was in that fugue state as Yellowjacket by marrying him during that time- but that’s not how it went down! She married him out during that time out of fear of what he’d do to her (he tried to force harsh kisses on her and sexually harassed her etc) and out of genuine concern! Jan clearly loved Hank and would constantly try and build up his nonexistent self-esteem but didn’t know how- She would try and prop up his ego but kept accidentally feeding into Hank’s weird complexes instead. I will say that Jan flirted with other men a lot but that wasn’t her being unloyal so much as her natural personality- but when you cross that with her being more successful and younger than him and he took that as a sign she wasn’t loyal/thinking she only liked him out of pity or to make herself look better. 

 She wasn’t manipulating him for her own ends, she wanted to help and have a healthy relationship with him. Still, she didn’t know how to handle the situation properly- Hank needed a therapist, not a girlfriend who thought maybe if she complimented him enough, maybe if she propped him up enough they could be good together- she comes off as a person who had no prior experience with mental illness like this- no frame of reference, no idea what to do, and she didn’t seem to understand what was going on- so she accidentally enabled him and made things worse but she didn’t manipulate him. It’s pretty relatable- If you’ve ever had a mentally ill friend or whatever but had no prior knowledge of mental illness, you tend to mishandle things- you become insensitive/mean without meaning to, or you end up enabling bad behavior- it’s scary and Jan’s case she was in actual physical danger! 

I’d also like to say that Hank while not at all stable had some lucidity when he hit Jan, and prior to him hitting Jan he was already displaying emotionally abusive behaviors (Destroying her costume, practically interrogating her) so no you can’t blame it his mental illness- he still had enough awareness of what he was doing (That being said who in there right mind let Hank rejoin the Avengers after he had a severe disassociative episode-I would have demanded he’d go to therapy or be institutionalized if he refused) 

I do like Hank, he’s a complex/interesting character. He has an inferiority complex so deep he’s tried to kill himself, he’s made preemptive strikes to prove his worth to others, he gave himself health issues from becoming Giant-man and it’s again tied to his insecurities. Outside of his suicidal tendencies, he’s got anger management issues, suffers paranoid delusions, disassociates, etc. He’s also incredibly self-sacrificing and is a strong believer in second chances- redemption is what he wanted for himself- what he tries to convince others he can have- so he hopes he can give to others too. Also, he’s a badass mad scientist (Literally that’s what sold me on him as a character) but the point still stands he was a domestic abuser, he refused to get help for a long time until it reached a breaking point and his reputation both in-universe and out can’t ever make a full recovery- like I said he’s complicated, so you can’t just paint him as a wife-beater or say absolved of his misdeeds because of his insanity or someone else egging him on, Jan was a victim plain and simple even if you point out some of her enabling behaviors

But my ultimate hot take? EMH’s Hank and Jan are the most annoying couple- separately I loved them but whenever I saw Janet whine or Hank moan about the other all I could think was- “Please, the love of God just break up!”- I was like kid preteen btw and still found that drama annoying

[princessjojo-x]

LeoVenus ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

💝 initially, he’ll act more like a house cat rather than a lion. he’ll analyse & observe his love interest with a straight face & detached vibe. he’ll leave her guessing & pinning after his affections. this can make her feel unwelcome & unwanted by him. however, once she’s won him over & he realises her worth, he’ll pounce & hunt her down. he’ll become more open, talkative & friendly.

💝 he’s not shy to make the first move bc he always approaches love with bravery & he wears his heart on his sleeve.

💝 it’s unlikely he’ll hide his partner as he prefers to love out loud. he wants a partner he is proud of & is proud of him in return.

💝 he has an inherent ability to radiate positive motivation, make others feel special & validate people’s point of view. the only time he doesn't fill someone with extraordinary support is when he realises that person is a potential competitor.

💝 he is very generous with his partner & he is the best gift giver amongst all the venus signs.

💝 he may cause arguments within rxship out of boredom bc he is drawn to drama & fireworks.

💝 he tends to hang on to dying rxships bc he is extremely loyal & forgives easily. all fixed venus signs stay in rxships that don’t serve them bc it gives them a sense of familiarity & security. they fear the idea of having to start over from scratch.

💝 you rarely see him have ugly days bc he’s so well kept.

💝 he loves himself first & won’t let you forget that. driven by the desire to be admired & adored, he can come across as snobby & is likely to prioritise his own needs over his partners, leading to an imbalance in the rxship.

💝 his bruised egos may lead to passive-aggressive behaviour & prolonged sulks at times as all leo placements have fragile egos (however leo venus is the most confident & leo moon is the most insecure).

💝 sexually, he is open to adventures & experiments as long as it doesn’t lead to a sense of humiliation.

Turn On’s:

💝 leo placements are known to have a lot of confidence, yet leo venuses tend to question their place in their partners lives a lot & need constant reassurance to feel sure of their partner’s love for them. he wants constant attention, obsession & expression of emotions from his partner. he even likes his partner to beg for his attention. he feels loved when being spoiled, praised & applauded so tell him you’re proud of them. he has a fundamental need for positive & supportive feedback. if it's negative or not supportive enough, he can inwardly feel unworthy. compliment him but only genuinely & at the right timing.

💝 he loves grand gestures & larger displays of love.

💝 he prefers to be the leader or in charge since he hates taking orders. but he needs a woman who is strong & assertive, not weak & caving in.

💝 he dates for a good time, not to be overly serious. he enjoys flirting & playing around. playing is very important to this placement so whenever you are together, wherever you are, whatever boring thing you are doing they will make it fun. promise him fun, adventure & laughter. he needs a partner who is the life of the party (outgoing, warm, happy, optimistic. honest caring).

💝 he enjoys chasing (playing cat & mouse) so ensure to be hard to get.

💝 he wants a partner who’s like a celebrity (popular, sociable, well respected, widely attracted, impressive, sought after, bold, confident, radiant, charismatic & proud). she is sure of herself, has strong values & high respect for those she’s closest to. she makes noise wherever she goes & rarely lets other people override her opinion.

💝 his ideal lover will have a fire sign sun, moon or asc.

💝 he wants a partner who is always overdressed in attention grabbing clothing bc he wants everyone staring at her! he likes anything shiny, bold, extra, unique, extraordinary, creative & fun; titties out, booty out, excessive makeup, XL acrylics, hoop earrings, leopard print, designer accessories, tacky clothing, etc. dress brightly in colours ruled by the sun (yellow, bronze & gold). he

💝 all fire venus’s want a passionate partner who encourages them to be confident & expressive, they want someone to be proud of them.

Turn Off’s:

💝 someone who is negative, selfish, patronising, unoriginal & domineering.

💝 never judge him for being generous or kind to you/others.

💝 don’t ever question or humiliate him in public.

💝 if you do something to try make him feel insecure in himself. (same for all fire venus)

💝 ghost him (this will HURT)

[lattaeyongs]

the trojan horse (hrj): teaser

original gif

↳ pairing: huang renjun x reader

↳ teaser word count: 1.7k

↳ genre: royalty!au, historical (late 1700s)!au, heavy angst, fluff, smut (will go under major revisions before posting)

↳ summary: in which the boy you fall in love with isn’t who you think he is.

↳ teaser warnings: political unrest, may contain historical inaccuracies

1788

Today, you would be meeting the Prince of Neo, Huang Renjun. Neo is a small kingdom that neighbors your kingdom, and they are known for their ample craftsman class who commission some of the finest weapons and are the source of skilled fighters which could be of advantage if they have a suitable marriage alliance.

As much as you hated being auctioned off like an antique vase, it was something that couldn’t be helped as a royal woman, particularly the princess of the largest kingdom around, Ambrosia. You only hope that this Huang Renjun isn’t like the other suitors you have met, who are snooty and stuck up, ruthless as if they are miniature versions of your father. More importantly, you wish that they won’t cast you aside, using you as a pawn to get their hands on the better prize, the Kingdom of Ambrosia, the largest kingdom in the area.

There’s already tension in the air when you are escorted by your mother and lady’s maids into the drawing room where you first lay eyes on Huang Renjun.

His raven-colored hair is neatly gelled and combed, and his skin is pale in contrast. He stands up politely at your presence, and you get a good look at his clothing: rich, exactly what you expect for a royal from another kingdom. He wears red robes with delicate, intricate yellow designs, and you suspect the material is velvet. He has white frills at his neck, and milky white socks that compliment the black shoes at his feet, which have a gold flower at the center of the foot to match the gold designs on his robes. 

He is also observing you with the same tenacity as you do with him: You’re wearing a crown of pink flowers on your head, which matches the pink flowers on your sky-blue dress. Your skirt is large and trails at your behind, which shows your royal standing, and the sky-blue sleeves of your dress slowly become white lace as his eyes follow from your shoulders to your wrists. The sleeves of your dress are cone-like, and the edges are able to reach your knees. 

For a few seconds, you meet Renjun’s gaze. His eyes are a beautiful dark brown, and they offer you a friendly look, which puts your heart at slight ease. 

“Princess Y/N, this is Renjun, Prince of Neo,” your mother introduces in a voice that made it seem like she has known Prince Renjun for a long time (which she hasn’t).

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, your Highness,” Renjun says. His voice is absolutely magnificent, song-like, and dreamy. He steps forward and bends down on one knee, taking your right hand and kissing the back of it. 

His lips feel warm against your skin. 

There are a few other men by Renjun’s side. There are his personal guards, who came with him on the five-hour carriage ride from his castle to yours, and another man in fine clothing, someone you failed to notice due to your observant study of Huang Renjun. 

“And this is the King of Neo,” your mother continues, gesturing. He bows down and takes the time to bend down and kiss your mother’s hand (which has her bubbling with pleasant, polite words) and your hand, which you give a curt greeting. His black robe shuffles as he steps back, and you study Renjun side-by-side with his father. 

“Pleased to meet you, Your Highnesses,” he says. 

A few maids come in bearing silver trays piled with bite-sized sandwiches, in the shape of a pyramid. You and your mother take one, while Renjun and his father take one each, all four of you being overly courteous to the help in an effort to keep appearances. 

“Your daughter looks like a lovely young lady, perfect for my Renjun,” the King of Neo comments, giving your mother a gracious smile. “So elegant and full of grace, she will make a fine queen and wife, Your Highness,” he addresses your mother. 

“Thank you for your kind words,” Your mother responds back, her eyes crinkling as a part of her practiced genuine smile. “May I escort you to the King? He has some matters that he would like to discuss with you.” 

“Of course, my good lady,” the King of Neo responds back courteously. Your mother leads the way out of the room, and a few maids look like they are going to follow her, to make sure that she is okay, but she only needs to give a flick of her wrist for them to disperse back into the drawing room. Now, you and Renjun are alone, except for the help, but they don’t count as ‘people.’ You’re grateful that your mother has left you both alone because you absolutely hate being chaperoned during meets with suitors – it makes you more nervous having that extra company. That just shows how important this alliance is for the Kingdom that your mother understands your weakness and tries to put you on the best possible foot to make a good performance for Huang Renjun.

“Please have a seat,” you say to Renjun, gesturing at the plush pink-and-green sofa that he abandoned when you entered the room. There is a small ottoman opposite of the sofa, and there is a glass table in between with the pyramid of sandwiches that the maid brought a few minutes ago. You’re ready to bring up something about the weather and other practiced lines you have prepared for occasions like this when something catches your eye on the table, a leather-bound book. It is a copy of The Oresteia by Aeschylus. You remember reading it back when you were still being taught by a governess. 

“Excellent choice,” you start off, gesturing to the volume on the table.

Renjun smiles at you, a pretty sight just as beautiful as his voice. 

“Thank you. You have a wonderful library, larger than the one I have at home,” he says in awe. The library room is in the next room, and it is dark and paneled with fine wood; it would not be a good choice to meet a suitor, for it is a major turn-off if a woman is too well-educated, enough that she would love books more than making an heir for the family.

Personally, the library room is your favorite room in the house.

“You don’t have Oresteia in your library?”

“No,” Renjun says sheepishly. “It’s been on my list of books to read for a long time, but I just haven’t had the chance to get a copy with all the suitors my father forc–” Renjun suddenly stops, realizing who he is talking to. His face turns into a bright beet red, thinking that he has messed up more than he ever thought he could.

Your face doesn’t shrivel with offense the way Renjun thought it would. He met a royal woman once who after he said he didn’t like blueberry scones, escorted him out of her castle. Instead, he is greeted by a smile. You experienced the same feeling.

“It’s okay,” you say lightly. “I wasn’t exactly that happy to meet you too.” You’re glad that your mother isn’t chaperoning, or anyone in your Court is either because hearing those words from your mouth would earn you a slap across your face. ‘A lady isn’t supposed to tell someone what she thinks,’ you can hear your mother’s and governess’ voices ringing in your ears (they practically had the same voice… all high-class women had a high pitch, sultry yet innocent voice). 

Renjun finds your words refreshing; this is the first time he’s met a royal who actually says what she thinks, and that sort of directness is what he craves in someone – he hates having to analyze every little word in a woman’s sentence in order to find out what she truly means.

“How far are you?” You ask. 

“Not very,” Renjun sighs. “I wished you came later so I would have had more time to read.” You titter a little, and Renjun is glad that he is able to see a real, genuine smile from you.

“But Clytemnestra’s lover has just killed King Agamemnon.” You nod, remembering how shocked you were when you read that part. You’re trying to think of something to say that will contribute to the conversation when Renjun’s voice becomes lower. 

“Do you think he deserved it?” 

Initially, you’re not sure if you should answer the question. On one hand, you do want to answer the question because you can’t believe that you have a suitor who wants to intelligently discuss literature with you, a complete dream that you can’t believe is happening in real life, but there is another part of you that wants to follow your mother’s advice she gave you a long time ago when it came to meeting suitors: to not let him know too much about your opinions too early. 

“I apologize,” Renjun says hesitantly. He just broke all rules when it comes to meeting suitors. He is also not supposed to ask questions like these. It was okay to ask, ‘What do you think the author meant by this event?’ but not what a woman thought about the event herself.

“You don’t have to,” you say more confidently. “I think I understand Clytemnestra’s fury. Imagine finding out that your daughter was sacrificed so that your husband can help his brother get his wife back. There’s a line that has to be drawn between your family and someone else’s family, and Agamemnon failed to do so. Menelaus had other allies from various kingdoms that could help him, and Agamemnon could help in other ways than sacrificing his eldest daughter to Artemis. But Iphigenia only had Agamemnon. She was his daughter. He was supposed to protect her. He wasn’t supposed to auction her off to her death. So he must pay with his life,” you explain rationally.

Renjun is pretty sure that you’re not only talking about Oresteia anymore. And he’s right. Maybe you feel a little like Iphigenia, but the free will that you are sacrificing is for the good of your kingdom and not someone else’s. 

The way you passionately discussed literature was endearing to Renjun. He didn’t want to be stuck with a bimbo for the rest of his life, who was only interested in parties and pleasure. You have substance. 

The two of you continue to discuss other Ancient Greek literature since much of the literature includes myths that are implicitly referenced in other works that people in those days would have understood. The conversation is entertaining, and you freely give your opinion and Renjun does the same, and you appreciate the candidness more than anything in the world.

“I’m glad for one thing,” you say during the conversation.

Renjun raises an eyebrow. 

“That the Greek Gods don’t meddle in our lives.” 

[champmorado]

chick hicks & jackson storm character analysis!!!!

so chick hicks has major daddy issues, plain and simple. because of his dad, he tied his self-worth to being a "winner". because of his dad, he made himself not care about anyone else but himself. because of his dad, everyone else was either a "loser" or someone standing in the way of victory

chick is arrogant, overly so. because of this, hes lonely. hes unbelievably lonely. do you think his crew chose to wear those matching mustaches? who would willingly hang out with the dirty, cheating, crash-causing, second-placing chick?

he surrounds himself with mirrors. with people that tell him what he wants to hear, and laugh at his stupid jokes, and just so happen to be on his payroll. but if you strip away all the sponsor money, the insults and jabs, the angry & arrogant exterior, youre left with a sad and disappointing middle-aged man that was never truly a "winner". a man that no one wants to love or even be associated with

(but hes in extreme denial about that)

now, jackson storm

i dont have access to a copy of storm chasing (damn ittttt) so i'll just be going off the wiki and the movie

jackson storm didnt even want to be a racer. he was completely fine with being an e-sports player. but he was extorted by a guy that ended up firing him anyways so here we are

because of that, jackson has the world's weirdest form of imposter syndrome. he doesnt belong here. hes the best racer there is. he shouldve been racing since he was a child. he hates being a racer. he wouldnt trade it for the world. he wishes he could be just a gamer again. etc etc

he never really compliments himself, though. he needs to tear someone else down to lift himself up. he needs someone thats "worse" than him before he can boast about how great he is. deep down, he doesnt like being a racer, and he feels that the racing world doesnt deserve him

he also never lets himself feel. hes always distant and his emotions are always disconnected from the present. this started out as a way to avoid having angry outbursts but now he feels shallow. his losses arent painful but his wins arent rewarding. meeting a fan feels the same as meeting a hater. everything just feels.... insincere

so yea 👍 thats my brainrot on them as individuals, the father-son dynamic brainrot will come soon

[rollercoasterwords]

hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way. 

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear? 

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine. 

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together. 

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)

[teabookgremlin]

i have been having so many thoughts recently about van and her relationship to her appearance. are these thoughts coherent? not particularly. am i going to try to make them somewhat coherent to share with you all now? yes. will i make any sense or say anything that hasn’t already been said? that remains to be determined

i first really started thinking about this when i started my fic feel like me again but honestly it had been floating around in my mind since we got our first look at adult van and the debate over if she was butch enough began (she is btw that is not up for discussion here and not the point of this post). anyway lets get into some of my thoughts.

first i wanna talk about her hair. i know recently people have been pointing out how before the wolf attack we most commonly see van with her hair tied back (with the exception of just a few occasions) and how after the wolf attack it is always down (except for during doomcoming but then her scars are covered by a mask). it’s very clear that her hair becomes a shield for her, using it as a way to hide her scars. even as an adult it’s never up and we see it hanging in her face a lot. especially back in society it makes sense to me that van would want to hide her scars somewhat, i mean her whole thing is trying to live in a past where none of the bad shit happened. as for before the attack, her hair being pulled up often, first of all same, i do this and for me its bc i’m sick of my hair and just haven’t gotten around to cutting it yet. it could be similar for van or she just prefers it out of her face. i feel like it’s unlikely that she wouldn’t have cut it if she wanted to as she already presents pretty butch and presumably is not overly bothered by people clocking her (kind of drawing this from both her appearance and that she is so much less concerned with being caught by the others than tai is) but there is still the possibility that she just doesn’t want another thing about her to scream dyke as she is living in an american suburb in the 90s. 

onto her scars specifically. i love how she stops covering them after tai tells her that she’s beautiful. i’d imagine that van is not someone who is used to compliments on her appearance (or at least not ones that are affirming to her). i also know that a lot of us have headcanons that her mom is shitty to her about her appearance (or at least i do and i’ve seen it in a few fics) so hating how she looks would have become internalized and the scars would just make it worse. and there’s how she storms out at the suggestion of a party, hiding off in the woods until tai comes, bringing a solution and way to support her. and she clings to tai as they first walk out at doomcoming, holding her arm, kind of tucking herself against/behind her until the kiss. in this moment van is shown that she is still desirable despite the scars and this is just further affirmed when tai asks to see her without the mask and calls her beautiful. and going forward she doesn’t directly hide them anymore, even as an adult when in society, where facial scarring would get her more attention than among a group of teenagers who all know exactly what happened and are too busy trying to survive to care about appearance.

this is all i’ve got for now but i certainly think that there is so much to talk about concerning van and her appearance both because of her scarring and because a complicated relationship with presentation is not uncommon among lesbians. idk i have lots of thoughts but putting them into words is hard so feel free to add on your own ideas and happy van vednesday

[st33le]

How do you think Charles would’ve gotten along with Trapper, Henry, and Frank?

SHAKES YOU!!! I have so many opinions on Charles interacting them!

I’ll start with Henry because I have the least amount of headcanons about him and Charles.

I do love Henry a lot but to be honest I just think a dynamic between him and Charles would just be a watered down version of what he already has with BJ and Hawk. Or at the very least, just Charles thinking that Henry is a bit incompetent and neglectful of his duties, but like charles already thinks everyone is pretty incompetent so like?? There’s not a lot there. Though I do think that Charles would appreciate the craftsmanship of the desk lmao. If Henry was CO during the time that charles got there I’m sure that charles would take waaaay longer to warm up to camp. Only because he would see Henry as someone who enables the shenanigans.

Now with Trapper, I actually believe it wouldn’t be too similar to how he treats bj. BJ, to Charles at least, is a decent man, a jokester and annoying especially if he and hawk are up to something, but a kinda of respectable family man when it comes down to it. Oh but trapper! Tapper John is Hawkeye’s perfect mirror and OH what a wall they would drive Charles up. I could go on a 3 hour rant about Trapper and Hawk being the perfect comedic duo on the camp, but this is about Charles. I think Charles would have a hard time merely being in the same room as trapper at times. I think trapper would act way better then Charles to get on his nerves, like act like he knows way more then he does about culture and opera and stuff like that, and that would drive Charles crazy. NOT TO MENTION that they’re both from Boston. Imagine Charles first coming to the 4077th and finding out Trapper was from Boston. Initially I think Charles would try to confide in him only for trap and hawk to pull a prank or something. I know in the early Charles episodes the show likes to laugh at Charles misery but oh well, can’t be helped I suppose. Another note, if they actually interacted in the should I could honestly see myself shipping Charles and trapper for a time. I think their personal dynamic would have been really really fun, trapper being overly flirty and Charles just being like “oh someone help me.” Though I don’t think they would be able to work long term, as trapper imo really likes to be ‘adored’ and taken care of in the relationship, and I don’t see Charles wanting that in someone, and especially cause of their economic difference it would make Charles feel kind of used? Idk. That’s just the Hawkchester part of me going off tho.

Okay okay, now Frank. I think, that this would honestly have been peak comedy for the show. ESPECIALLY if they were the same rank during their screen time together. If Frank was there I think that Charles would have very quickly gotten along with Hawk and BJ, especially if they were doing something to spite Frank. I can definitely see Charles, out of everyone hating Frank the most. I’m sure, it’s been said before, but I think it would be very funny if like Charles have a backhanded insult that frank is just too dumb so he interprets it as a compliment. Only for Hawkeye to add on. I think half of the dynamic between Charles and Frank is just Charles being bewildered by Franks incompetence. But also on a side not I can see him being like a wingman for Margaret like “honey you can do better then that.” Frank would definitely think there was something between Margaret and Charles, and he would get mad over that and ask Hawk and BJ for help only for them to laugh their asses off cause Charles and Margaret are MLM WLW solidarity.

Those are my basic thoughts on them, sorry for taking so long to reply I had to get my thoughts in order.

Also sorry for any spelling mistakes, writing and being coherent is hard lmao.

More asks about mash are always welcome!

[kakusu-shipping]

Sorry to say that I am once again coming to bug you about the Swatchlings specifically jgufhgjgk

The mental image of them parading you around is just sooooo cute to me and I must know more about your dynamic!! Whatever you’ve got on them!!

Also you should share about Watanuki and Doumeki, if that’s not too much!!

NO THANKYOU FOR BUGGING ME ABOUT THE SWATCHLINGS I FINALLY HAVE MORE TO SAY ABOUT THEM THEN JUST "Colors... pretty <3"

First of all I just found this term yesterday but it's perfect so; All the Swatchlings are Butler Caregivers.

They like to take care of a little like they're nobility. Bring them fancy desserts and finger clean foods and teas on silver platters. Button their shirts and tie their shoes just so. Follow them around exactly two paces behind, hands off unless absolutely necessary or directly asked for.

They like to use names like "Young Master/Mistress" or royal variations if requested, and play up the act of the cool collected butler who diligently watches over the house's perfect little bundle of joy.

They do tend to be. Pretty excitable though.

If their young master is looking particularly cute that day they can't help but squee over them. Cooing the sleepiest babies, or repeatedly pouring compliments over a little's hand chosen outfit that they put on all by themselves.

They're also all big Commit to the Bit types. Give them a role in playing pretend and they will play it as straight as Shakespeare, as serious as the most committed stage hand. This is their life now. Should they be the biggest bad in all the seven kingdoms or just a humble guest to a tea party, they are committed, and they are dramatic.

Their favorite activity is painting with their little, though will have a moment of panic if the baby, or surrounding area, gets too filthy. Their least favorite is Hide-and-Seek, just because they're all very quick to assume they've lost the child forever and will never find them again. Also if one of them looks in a hiding spot and sees a Maus then everything goes to chaos.

Each Swatchling is a little different of course, and I just tend to break them into the 6 colors to talk about so for specifics

Red is overly romantic, they love a story to read bedtime stories about princes who save princesses from dragons, or better to act at the princess being saved by their heroic knight. They're the best cook of the six but get depressed if they're missing baby time because they're in the kitchen making all the tiny food, so they tend to shove their responsibilities off on the other Swatchlings. They get lonely easy and tend to be just a bit clingy compared to the other 6, they need more hugs, kisses, and gifts than the others by quiet a bit.

Orange is a perfectionist who loves to pick out his little's perfect outfit, button their shirt, and tie their shoes just so every morning. He'll also brush and style their hair with little ribbons and bows if he's allowed. They're the first to go hands off when a little gets too messy for them, opting to go find a change of clothes for someone else to put them in to, that they'll then adjust as needed after they're all cleaned up. The most he'll do is gently wipe his little's face with a napkin while they're eating, but even that they may have to change gloves afterwards

Yellow is a lot more about the stuffie parties, especially ones he made. Serving over tea parties with all his little's stuffies, setting up movies and placing every guest so they can see the screen. He enjoys a good pillow fort with soft blankets and hot tea and quiet sleepy nights. What she hates is being the one who has to clean it up because she's the Caretaker so it's up to her to put everything back where it goes when blue eventually comes in and carries the baby back to their big plush bed. He just wants to go to bed but he's gotta take all these pillows back to their original rooms...

Green loves to be outside with a little. She wants to set up an easle and a canvas and watch her young master sit peacefully in the rose garden weaving flowers together to make wreaths and bracelets and crowns. She enjoys the babble of the brook and the rustle of leaves in the wind and the warmth of the sun. All idealized versions of the outside she adores. Heavy forbid though her little prefer to dig in the dirt, or stomp in puddles, or run and be loud and messy. She's more of a nice calm picnic in the sun outside type, not so much tag and red light green light red rover play outside type.

Blue's a music lover, they love to sing to their little or play the piano for them, write them little songs about how great they are or how fun it is to do basic chores like brush your teeth or eat breakfast. They're more of a bedtime caregiver, they love a sleepy little to listen to their lullabies, to rock gently and tuck comfortably into bed. They're the shortest of the six Swatchlings and just a little touchy about it, so little things like not being the first choice for carrying the little or struggling to place dangerous things out of a baby's reach would get to them. They're also the only Swatchling to place and uphold rules like Bedtime, Clean up, and Time Outs (if need be). They're the leader when Swatch isn't around.

Purple is the odd one out of the Swatchlings. She LOVES a chaotic baby, she loves a mess, splatter paint and mud and food fights. She loves bath time with an entire bottle of sudsy soap and lavender lotion. She loves toys all over the floor and snacks on every surface and open but not yet finished juice boxes. She comes across a lot more like an older sibling CG than a butler. She tends to get scolded a lot by Blue and is usually more on clean up than play supervision, however she's the only Swatchling willing to deal with a messy baby meaning she eventually has to be the one to step in and change her little's clothes, help them wipe up a spill, or get them ready for bathtime. She's the oldest of the six and the most mellow (but she still can't handle Maus)