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lokigodofmyheart · 1 day

Text

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Words: 4.479.

Summary: Tony and Y/N have a friends with benefit situation. But what happens when someone wants more and the other don't?

Warning/Content: angst, fluff.

A/N: This is my first time writting a Tony x Reader. Dividers by @cafekitsune <3

Fury was on her, wanting the reports from last mission. And obviously, the only person who hadn’t finished yet was Stark. Somehow, Fury thought that if someone could make him do it, it would be Y/N. And that’s how she ended up in his lab.

Tony was sitting in his chair, doing absolutely nothing with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked at her with his usual smirk “What’s bring you here, Y/L/N?”

“Have you finished your report from the last mission, Stark?” She asks, walking closer to his desk.

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his messy hair “No, not yet. Why?”

“Fury needs it. And he’s been waiting for it for two days now.” Y/N knew how Tony was and how much he hated to make those reports. In the end, she always ends up finishing for him.

Tony rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his glass “I'll finish it, but not right now. I'm in the middle of something.”

“Yeah, I can see it.” She glares at him, before she starts going through the giant amount of paper on his desk.

Tony stops put his glass down on the desk and looks at her with a small smirk “Are you really here to talk about the reports?”

“Yes.” She finally found it.

“And are you sure that's the only reason you're here?” His smirks didn’t flatter.

Y/N grabs the file in her hands “Yes.” That’s all she said before she turns around without looking at him and left his lab.

Tony watched as she walked away from him, without any further comment. Obviously, given their situation, he found it a bit weird.

The next day, Y/N was in her room when she heard a knock on her door. She open it, seeing Tony standing there.

“Yes?”

The man leaned against the doorway, with a small smile that he saved just for her when they were alone “I need to go to the mall, buy a few things. Wanna tag along?”

Her face turn to an apologetic one “Sorry, I’m not feeling very well...”

“You feel sick?” He asked her and she could noticed the worry in his voice.

“No, not. Just a small headache, nothing major...but thanks for the invitation anyway.” She gave him a small smile.

Tony was a bit reluctant to believe her but didn't want to press further “Yeah, ok. Rest well.”

“Thanks.” She gently closes the door. He stood there for a few seconds, worried, before he walked away.

The next time something like that happened, it was after movie night with the team. Everyone said good night after the movie ended, leaving just the two of them in the living room. Y/N slowly got up from the couch “I’m going to bed too.”

Tony quickly got up too, grabbing her arm gently and smirk “Why don't we go to mine?”

Again, the apologetic expression crossed her face “I’m on my period. Sorry.”

His smirk dropped slightly as his grip loosened and his hand fall from her arm “Oh...”

Y/N gave a small apologetic smile “Night, Stark.”

He nods “Night, Y/L/N.”

Tony thought it was just a coincidence, but he noticed that she looked like she was avoiding being alone with him. It had been more than a week since they had sex and every time he tried, she just had some short of excuse.

He waited until she finished her training and cornered her when she was leaving the room. “Y/L/N, we need to talk.”

Y/N stops and look at him “Sure.”

He looked around to see if anyone was around and he crossed his arms “Have I done something to you?”

“No.” She made a confused face as she looked at him.

He studied her features for a moment, before he spoke again, a little lower “You've been avoiding me lately...”

“No, I’m not.”

Stark stepped closer to her “Then explain why you're avoiding spending time with me alone.”

Y/N gave him a small smile “I’m not. Really.”

“Then why did you always have some sort of excuse each time I ask you to hang out just the two of us?”

She looked at his face and could see that he was somewhat hurt by her actions “I told you, I wasn't feeling well one day, and the other one I was in my period.”

He didn’t really believe her “What about the other time at the lab? You came, got some paper, and were gone in a second. You didn't even try to engage with me.”

“I was busy with the report you didn’t finish. Fury needed that.” She explains and hoped he would buy it.

Clearly he didn’t. “Like you care about the reports. I think you're avoiding me.”

“I’m not, Tony.” She says with a gentle voice. “Why don’t you come to my room later, and we can...talk.” She smirks at the last word.

“Alright, I'll come...” He said, before walking away back to his room, excited for what he could only assume was going to happen tonight.

As soon as she noticed he had left, her smirk dropped “Fuck...”

Y/N didn’t know what to do. Yes, she had been avoiding him. They had this friend with benefits things, and she knew from the start that it was all that was and it couldn’t be more. But she had catch feelings for the billionaire and she didn’t know what to do.

Later, Y/N was sitting on her bed with her laptop in her lap finishing another report for Fury when she heard a soft knock on her door.

“Come in!” She says without moving from her spot.

Tony opened the door and walked in, a smirk on his face “Hey, sweetheart.”

She smiles looking at him “Hey.”

He walked to the bed, sitting down next to her, he was wearing just a tank top and sweatpants “So, you wanted to...talk.”

Y/N chuckles softly, closing her laptop and putting on her nightstand. Tony leaned against the headboard, and pulled her onto his lap “You know, the way you were acting today had me a bit worried for a second. I thought I'd done something to upset you...”

“You’ve done nothing.” She smiles.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him, his lips next to her ear “Good, I'm glad...” he began peppering light kisses on her neck and began to kiss down her neck, and to her shoulder, his hands slowly running up and down her waist and thighs. She just froze, she didn’t know what do to. Yes, she wanted sex with him, but her heart was screaming at her.

Tony felt the tension in her body and he pulled away slightly, worried “You okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah...” She tried to mask it with a smile, but Tony could notice on her voice something was wrong.

His hands came up to cup her face, keeping her looking at him “You feel a bit tense. Talk to me...” Her smile slightly drops and that worried him even more “Y/N, what's wrong?”

“I’m sorry...” Her voice was almost a whisper “I don’t think I can do this anymore...”

“It's okay. We can do this another time.” He says with his hand rubbing her side to comfort her.

“No, I didn’t mean like that.”

Tony frowned and looked into her eyes “Then what do you mean?”

Y/N sighs, before she spoke again “I can’t do this...” she points between them.

His heart ached a bit at her words “You don't want this anymore?”

“I'm sorry...” she says, getting off his lap and sitting by his side with her hands in her lap.

He stayed sitting on the bed, looking at her, trying to hide the sadness that was building inside of him “Why? I thought...I thought things were good between us...”

Y/N looked at him and she could see the pain on his face “It is...was...I swear it was.”

“Then...why are you ending this? What changed? What did I do, huh?” he was trying to stay calm, but it was hard. He wanted answers.

“You did nothing wrong.” She smiles sadly at him.

“Then why? Do...do you not want me?” He let out a shaky breath, his eyes met hers again.

“I do. And that’s the problem.” Her voice was low as she spoke.

That made Stark was more confused now “Why is that a problem? I want you too.”

“Because I want more.”

There was silence. He took a few seconds trying to gather his thought before answering her with a frow on his face “But, we agreed from the start that-”

“I know.” she cuts him “And that's why I'm ending this.”

Tony et out a frustrated breath, running a hand through his hair “Y/N, I care about you, but that's- I can't give you what you want...”

“I know.” She says and he could hear the sadness on her voice. He hated knowing that he was hurting her with his words, but he couldn't give her what she wanted.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again “Do you regret us?”

“No.” she smiles, looking at him, still with a hint of sadness “Never.”

He reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers “Me neither, sweetheart...”

Y/N looked down at their hands together “I mean, we still can do the friends part.”

Stark chuckled sadly, bringing their intertwined hands to his lips “Can friendship really be enough?”

“It has to be.” She whispers.

He sighed, hating the way this conversation was going “You know I care a lot about you. I just...I don't do relationships anymore, not after...”

“I know.” She squeezes his hand slightly “And that’s why I’m not asking for it.”

“This suck, you know. I'm losing someone I care about, and I hate myself for it.” he ran a hand through his hair frustrated.

Y/N was feeling her eyes filling up with tears, and she blinks, trying to fight it “Believe me, this is much harder for me.”

“It's hard for both of us, okay?”he said a bit harshly before immediately regretting it “Fuck...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap.”

She shakes her head, not wanting to cry in front of him “No, it isn't. You care about me when I...I fell in love.”

The moment he heard those words, his heart ached even more. He wasn't sure what to say to that... so for a while, he just stayed silent, fiddling with her fingers. His jaw was clenched as he tried to control the emotions coursing through his body...he felt like a terrible person, knowing that he could not return her feelings. “I...I wish I could give you what you want. I really do...”

“Me too...”

Tony let out a shaky breath and squeezed the hand of hers that he was still holding. Even though he knew it probably wasn't a good idea, he pulled her a bit closer to him, resting his head on her shoulder “We can still be friends, right?”

Y/N rest her head on his “Of course.”

For a while, he let himself just feel the comfort of being close to her. But then he pulled away, reluctantly letting go of her hand and getting up from the bed “I should go...” Y/N just nods, not trusting her voice to answer. He looked down at her for a moment before leaning down and placing a feather-like kiss on her forehead. Part of him wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go, but instead, he straightened up and without another word, he walked out of her room.

“Night, Stark...” She says, holding back her tears, knowing that after he left, they would never be this close again.

“Goodnight, Y/L/N.” He said without looking back, knowing that the sight of her sad face would tear his heart even more.

Tony walked down the hallway and into his room, walking straight to the mini fridge and grabbing a bottle of liquor. He sat down on the couch but didn't open the bottle just yet. Instead, he buried his head in his hands and let all his bottled-up emotions flood out of his every pore for what felt like hours. He sat there for hours, trying to get himself under control. But the mere idea that the one person he was closest to in the Tower was no longer his... that he had no right to touch, kiss, or hold... he grabbed the bottle of liquor, taking a long sip, as a single thought echoed in his mind ‘You're a complete idiot, Stark.’

Y/N stood in her bed, bringing her knees to her chest and finally letting the tears fload after Tony left until she eventually cried herself to sleep. In just a few minutes, Tony finished the first bottle and opened the second, the words she said earlier echoed in his mind. I fell in love.

The first week had been rough for both of them. They were avoiding each other, which mean they were avoiding the kitchen, the common room, the training room. While Y/N was more quiet than usual and saying she was suffering from allergies to justify that sometimes her eyes and nose were red, Tony just was in a incredible bad mood all the time. The team watched the whole situation with worry and confusion. Everyone knew there was something wrong with Tony, usually when he was in a bad mood, he would go around the tower, annoying and trying to get a reaction out of everyone. But now, he was practically avoiding any interaction.

Tony was in the kitchen, enjoying the silence with a coffee in his hand, when Clint, Thor and Steve entered and stopped in front of him. He let out a tired sigh, knowing that wouldn’t be good “What do you all want?”

Thor studied his face, before speaking “I know that look.”

“What look?”

“That look” Thor points at him “The same one I had when Jane broke up with me.”

Tony rolled his eyes, annoyed with the direction the conversation was going “I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine.”

“Yeah, Thor.” Clint started “That would imply that Stark was dating someone.”

“Yes, thank you for that useless addition, bird brain.” Tony rolled his eyes as he leaned against the counter, taking a sip of his coffee “So, are you all just going to keep staring at me, or you have something to say?”

Steve spoke this time “What's going on, Tony? And don't say nothing, because we all know that you're not fine.”

Stark groaned, his shoulders slumping a bit “Just...it's nothing, alright? Can you just leave it be?”

This time it was Clint who spoke “No, because obviously something is happening. Or had happened.”

He took a deep breath, trying to control his temper “Can you just drop this? I just...I don't want to talk about her.”

“Oh, so it is a woman?” Thor ask curious.

He pinched the bridge of his nose “Damn it, yes, Thor. It was a woman, okay?”

There was a moment of silence, Thor and Clint sharing a knowing look while Steve just stared at him “Well, what happened?”

Despite himself, Tony’s voice trembled a bit when he spoke “She...she told me she wanted more. And I couldn't give her what she wanted. So we...we just ended things.” He took a gulp of his coffee to try and hide the turmoil he was still feeling “It's done, alright? It's over, and there's nothing that can be changed. Can we please just drop it?”

The three of them study him, before Steve spoke in a gentle tone “You love her” It wasn't a question.

Tony didn't even try to deny it this time. He let out a shaky breath and nodded, his eyes downcast “Yeah. I do.”

“She loves you, right?” Steve asked “Since you said she wanted more, I thought...”

He nodded and chuckled bitterly “That's the funny part. She does. But i made it clear from the start that I couldn't give her what she wanted. And we agreed to keep it casual. But...she said she still fell in love with me.

“Arrangements can be changed.” Thor says.

“It's not that simple, Thor.” Tony let out a tired sigh “What she wants...a serious relationship, commitment, all of that...I can't give her that.”

“Why not? What are you so afraid of?” Steve was the one who spoke this time.

“I'm not...” he starts to deny but stop mid-sentence and let out a frustrated breath “I'm not afraid.” he paused for a moment, looking over at Steve before continuing “I'm...I'm a mess, alright? I have demons that still haunt me, nightmares that don't let me sleep more than a few hours. I can be a dick in general and I...I haven't done the whole "relationship" thing in years. I can't get involved in that again.”

“Don't you remember the last time he dated Pepper?” Clint says to Steve “He looked like hell after they broke up.”

Tony rolls his eyes “Thanks a lot, bird brain, for remind me about one of the most painful times of my life.”

Thor nods, agreeing “Yeah, you were just a little worse than you are now. The only thing that took you out of the misery was Y/N moving here and you becoming friends.” Steve and Clint looked at Thor.

Tony groaned, realizing Thor was absolutely right. He never said it out loud, but deep down, he knew that the only reason he hadn't completely lost his brain after the whole Pepper situation, was Y/N. Having her around, being her friend, helped a lot during those dark months. He rubbed his eyes, suddenly feeling the exhaustion again “What's the point of this conversation, guys? Even if I wanted too, it's too late now. She ended things because I didn't want to give her more than what we had.”

“The question here is simple: Do you wanna give her what she wants?” Barton asked him.

Stark looks at him for a moment, before answering slowly and honestly “Yes...I do.”

Steve puts a hand on his shoulder “Then talk to her. I'm sure she'll listen.”

He chuckled bitterly “It's funny that you think it's that simple. We ended things weeks ago and we've been avoiding each other ever since. You really think she'll want to talk to me now?”

“If you’re talking about who I think you’re talking...she’ll listen.” Clint says. Obviously, after Thor made that comment, Barton and Rogers realized who he was talking about.

And if everything couldn’t get worse, Y/N walked into the kitchen to get some water just in that moment, but she stops seeing Tony and the guys. She knew if she turned back, it would be suspicious, so she walked to the fridge to get her water “Hi...”

Tony’s body tenses as soon as he saw her, his heart starting to pound hard on his chest. He quickly stands up from where he was resting his back against the counter, his eyes fixed on her. “Hey...”

The three other Avengers made some lame excuses and left them alone. Tony stayed in his spot against the counter, watching the other members of the team leave the kitchen. Silence fell between them as they both stood a few feet apart from each other.

“So... how’s it going?” Y/N spoke quietly, trying to make some small talk.

“Like crap...” Tony didn't want to lie or pretend to be fine, and he knew she wouldn't believe it anyway. So he decided to go for honesty “How about you?”

“Same.”

He didn't like the tiredness in her voice, and he hated that he was responsible for it “You're not sleeping well either, right?” Y/N just answers with a head shake. He sighs softly, his heart clenching at the thought that she was suffering with the situation between them as much as he was “Same here...”

“What a duo, huh?” She gave him a sad smile.

Despite the situation, he chuckled softly “Yeah...” there was a moment of silence between them before he spoke again “You're avoiding me...”

“I am...I needed a bit of space.” There was a minute of silence before she spoke again “You're avoiding me too...”

He looked down for a few seconds, ashamed with himself “I...yeah, I know. I just...I didn't know if you wanted to see me...or if you would want to talk to me...”

“Tony...” she walks closer to him, putting her water aside “I'm not mad at you or anything. I was sincere when I said we could still be friend.”

As she walked closer to him, he looked at her face carefully, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. He clenched his jaw tightly as a wave of guilt washed over him. “You're not sleeping.” it wasn't a question, it was more a statement of his realization.

Y/N rolls her eyes “Have you heard a word I said?”

Despite everything, one thing he had missed the most was her eye-rolling, and he felt a tiny sense of relief as she did it now “I heard you. I also notice that you're looking like a zombie. You should be sleeping.”

“You should be too. And not drinking.”

He chuckled bitterly “Yeah, well. I sleep better after I drink. It helps with the nightmares.”

“...they came back?” Y/N’s face softens, she knew about his nightmares.

“Yes, a couple days after...we ended things.” He looked down, avoiding saying the word 'break up' because he still didn't want to believe that's what really had happened.

“Are you okay?”

Tony lifts his head, his eyes meeting hers. As much as he wanted to lie and say that he was fine, he wasn't able to do it “No, I'm not...truth is, I haven't been okay at all since you end things with me. I'm...I'm a mess, really. I drink every night, I can't sleep more than a few hours each night, and...and I miss you. I miss you so damn much.” He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and trying to control the emotions he was feeling and the words he was saying, but he continued “I know I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be telling you all of this. I have no right...but I do miss you. I miss our nights together, our movie nights...and most of all, I miss talking to you, having you by my side...and I can't lie and say I don't miss being with you...” he laughed bitterly “Hell, I miss us...I should have never let you go...I should have...I should have said yes. I should have said yes to everything you wanted. But I was scared...”

“Scared of what...?” She asks without looking away from him.

“Scared of committing, scared of being in a relationship again, being trapped...terrified of ending up like I did after Pepper broke up with me...” He let out a strangled breath “I was so goddamn terrified of losing myself again, of having my heart broken again, that I ended up pushing the only person who was willing to be with me, away. And what the hell was the point since I end up breaking my own heart anyway...”

“You said 'was'...” she spoke quietly.

Tony looked at her again, his eyes going wide in realization of what he said. “Yes...”his voice was barely above a whisper, but he didn't look away from her “I said 'was'...” He could see the look on her face becoming almost a hopeful one. “I was terrified...” he repeated, as he moved so he was standing right in front of her. He hesitantly reached out his hands to touch hers and she did not pull back.

A tiny sigh of relief escaped his lips as she let him touch her, her hands so much smaller than his. He gently laced their fingers together, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hands and Tony took a deep breath before continuing “I know what I want...and I want you. I want us...everything. I wanna take you out on dates, I wanna sleep with you and see you pretty face when I wake up. I want to watch silly movies with you, and laugh at your silly comments. I wanna be with you when you're not feeling well...I want everything. Hell, I want to marry you, I want a family...I want a future and I can't see one without you on it.” he paused for a moment, but continued in a soft whisper “And the most important thing...I want to make you happy. I want to make you smile and laugh every single day. I want to give you everything I have, everything I am...hell, I want to give you the goddamn moon if that's what you want. But most of all...I want to give you my heart...because you're the only one I trust with it...”

Y/N didn’t answer, she just cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. The moment her lips brushed against his, he groaned loudly before cupping her face with his hands and pulling her even closer, the kiss becoming more and more urgent and frantic as he let out all the pent-up feelings and emotions through it. She parted the kiss, but didn't pull back “Are you sure?”

Tony rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed and his breathing becoming more ragged as he tried to regain control over himself. He opened his eyes and looked at her face, one of his hands moving to brush against her cheeks “Never been more sure of anything in my life, sweetheart.”

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before continuing “Y/N Y/L/N...will you be my girlfriend?”

Y/N smile and nods “Yes.” He let out another breath of relief, a huge wave of happiness washing over his entire body.

They stayed in that position for a few seconds before he leaned in to kiss her again, this time the kiss was gentle and unrushed. “God, I missed you so much...”

“I missed you too...”

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace, her face resting on his chest and his face buried in her hair. He took a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of having her in his arms once again, and the realization that it wouldn't just be a fling. It was real, it was more than physical desire. He cared for her, he loved her, and she was his “I love you.”

Y/N smiles “Say it again...”

Tony smiles at her request “I love you.” he says, gently pulling her face away from his chest so he could look directly in her eyes “I'm in love with you...And I plan on saying it every damn day for the rest of our lives.”

#tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x y/n #iron man #iron man x reader #tony stark fluff #tony stark angst

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