#this is how we’re starting this account where I just post bullshit

[cowboywodania]

I got Jack this emo ass fit and did a whole ass photoshoot

[moongreenlight]

GIRLIE PLS I NEED MORE YOUNG HOUSEWIFE x PRICE 😭😭

Instead of starting every ask response with “sorry it took me so long to get to this I suck” I’m just going to issue a blanket statement that I have like 45+ asks in my inbox rn and I get so overwhelmed looking at them that I just ignore them until I need to write something. I love you all for messaging me I love hearing your ideas and compliments please don’t stop sending them just bear with me as I sift through them. <3

Also- I got legit death threats on my first post like this. I’d like to make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that this is a LEGAL AGE GAP. It’s not grooming, it’s not predatory, it’s ENTIRELY LEGAL. You’re early twenties. He’s mid-to-late-thirties. Please do not bite my head off.

Anyway I’m back on my Price and his young housewife bullshit below the cut. Xoxoxo

Here’s the OG post if you need a refresher

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

There’s this scene in the MW3 campaign where Price and Farah are talking about where she got the missiles from and he’s trying to shoulder up with her, but she just shuts him down in the end. (Like always I hope you’ll trust me. Implicitly) (John Price the man that you are!!!!!!) and I really think that’s the household dynamic. He’s always the biggest in the room, but he’s got this incredible reverence and respect for women who can out-bitch him. Bends his rigid spine BACKWARDS for you. Would move mountains if you’d only ask.

Doesn’t always have to be serious things. Like maybe you’ve made friends with some moms in the neighborhood (it’s a point of pride for him that they’re all minimum 5 years older than you.) and they all go to this obscenely expensive Pilates class at six in the morning. You mention in passing that you’re signing up and the suburban white dad in him makes his ears perk.

“‘N how much ‘s this class going to cost me?”

“Dunno. Think it just goes on the account.”

“Course. Gym membership doesn’t cost enough as it is.”

And then all it takes is him seeing you in a matching workout set for all of his protest to die down. For SURE makes a comment about how he ‘didn’t know it’d be this worthwhile’

Loosely following that point, I think any real arguments get hostile very quickly. He’s not so egotistical that he won’t apologize, but I’m certain that it’s like pulling teeth to get him to that point. He can hold a grudge unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Borders heavily on immature when the two of you are in the thick of things. Starts shit just to start shit. (Secretly because he just loves makeup sex. Would rather eat you out until you’re sobbing than actually say the words “I’m sorry.”)

Having thoughts about him bringing you to some military ball. The both of you dressing up and sliding into the car that was sent for you just to sit on opposite ends of the backseat and not speak a single word. He burns through a cigar in record time and you toss back a few glasses of champagne. You both put on appearances getting out of the car. Hook your hand around his bicep while he shoves you inside with his hand on the small of your back. Hissing nasty quips back and forth about making this quick. Few hellos. Show your faces and then you can get home and get away from each other. Putting on appearances only goes so far, though, because when John is pissed- everyone feels it. Sucks the life out of a room and replaces it with an eerie feeling like a bomb’s about to go off.

He leaves you alone with a few other wives. Pulled away by Laswell with a promise of a ‘quick’ meeting. He comes back half an hour later fuming when he sees that somehow you’ve been pulled away from where he left you and found company chatting with his boys at the bar.

He gruffs some greetings before dragging you away by the arm so roughly that you have to stifle a yip.

“Are we leaving?”

“No.”

“So what is it, John? You’re making everyone think we’re miserable.”

“We are miserable.”

He’s yet to stop yanking you away. You have to do an awkward half-jog to follow him down a short hallway just outside the washrooms.

“Christ, would you just-“

“You look like a slag in that dress.”

He about throws you straight into the corner at the end of the hall. Muscles in his jaw ticking under the force that he’s using to grit his teeth.

“Sorry?”

His lips are brushing the shell of your ear. Bullying you further back into the wall. You’re entirely taken aback by his ferocity; especially because he usually prefers you wear something much more revealing than this. Some twisted point of pride, him seeing all the men your age drooling over you even after knowing you’re on his arm.

“Ought to let the boys pass you around. See if that won’t sort out that fucking attitude of yours.”

Theres some more protest from you, but it was entirely useless given how worked up he was. He ends up making good on his threat and shoving you into Ghost’s side when he brings you back out. He says something, but you can barely hear it over the blood rushing in your ears. Though you assume it’s a half-warning, half-explanation by the way Ghost snakes an arm loosely around your waist and gives a sharp nod. You get off relatively easy all things considered because Ghost is the only one smart enough not to take Price’s words at face value and sneak you away to some coat closet. That’s a permission granted only when John was present and in his right mind.

I cannot stress enough how much it gets him off to see you pregnant. Not like sexually, but he is nothing if not a glutton when it comes to feeding his ego. Likes it when you wear shirts that hug your swollen belly tight so he can see exactly how much your body is changing. Even better if they’re crop-tops that show off the skin that’s now littered with stretch-marks from growing his babies.

I have been saying this, but just to make it clear, he wants a small army of children. Like enough to have one of those trashy reality TV shows about how many kids you have. (In reality I’m getting 4/5 kids in total vibes) Loves coming home from work and seeing you carefully stirring a big pot on the stove while bouncing a baby on your hip, pulling a clingy toddler around on your leg, and situating your school-aged kids with their homework at the table.

But he most definitely hires a live-in nanny to help you out. Knows it’s not fair to leave you with that kind of responsibility. But also it just makes him so hot to see you mothering his kids that he needs to be able to take you away and not have to scramble to find something to occupy the kids.

Makes the nanny take over bath time more often than not so the two of you can take a bubble bath yourselves. He loves the casual intimacy of pouring two glasses of wine and having thirty or forty minutes to yourselves.

Having this visual of you before you’ve started having kids sitting in the tub after being strangely quiet all night. He offers you a heavily-poured glass of red and you’re a little glassy-eyed and staring up at him but making no move to take it.

“You alright, doll?”

“Mm?”

“Said you alright? Don’t want a drink?”

A long moment of silence from you. Long enough for him to perch on the rim of the tub and gently tip you up to look at him by putting a few fingers under your chin.

“John, I think I’m pregnant.”

“So no drink, then.”

[stevensavage]

Nothing Means Anything Anymore

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com, Steve's Tumblr, and Pillowfort.  Find out more at my newsletter, and all my social media at my linktr.ee)

There’s a peculiar dissatisfaction in First World modern life. A racing, seeking need is prowling around, so many of us are trying to get something. Whatever we churn out in technologies and media doesn’t quite seem to be enough. Whatever new social media or communities or movies that pop up, people still seem disconnected.

I get that strange, unsettled, need - and that feeling things just “aren’t like they should be.” Even when you remove toxic nostalgia and the human condition, something seems wrong. Lately, contemplating everything from music to politics, a phrase bubbled up in my mind - “Nothing Means Anything Anymore.”

So much doesn’t seem to exist for itself or because it’s just good as it is or even it’s cool or fun. I think that’s part of the dissatisfaction.

The latest new social media product is just a mixture of contrarianism, MLM, and fad so someone makes money. The latest big media sensation is part of a series being milked for money and flattened to the most marketable format. Every book cover looks alike and sells the same stories that went before it - even for indie authors.

How much of our culture is just marketing anymore? Nothing exists for itself, everything is how to get more money into a bank account, so much is “number go up.” How many times have you reviewed a film or a book for friends and caught yourself sounding like a professional reviewer or marketer? We’re so used to nothing being what it its, but being some kind of product rollout or initiative or whatever we start to sound like that.

Or maybe there’s the meaninglessness in politics and the seeking of political power. Carefully-tested bullshit is spewed making claims everyone knows are lies, but people don’t want to admit it so their side “wins.” Pundits spit out catchphrases and newspaper people are just asking questions since they don’t want to do real work. Even the conspiracy theories are recycled and the conspiracy theorists seem to be trying not to meet each other’s gaze as they know they’re full of crap.

Such multi-level meaninglessness even infects supposedly sane politics. Political discussions among friends and enemies sound like any argument held by pundits as we’re all trying to be pundits instead of themselves. Local politics can be amplified by some online influence-seeker who posts about your local town and next thing you know your city council is getting screamed at by people in other states or even countries. Number goes up, votes go up, clicks goes up, but it’s all worse somehow.

We’ve somehow managed to build a complex, high-tech First World where we know a lot of it is bullshit.

Yet when I do things like read punk mags (hey, I’m not as dull as I seem) or go to local zine fests I see meaning. There’s some meaning in these handcrafted, not-market-tested, weird, personal things. There’s satisfaction to be had out there, from weird streaming services to someone’s photocopied jokes on cactuses (really, I have it). Meaning is there to have.

I’m not proposing a solution or a diagnosis of cause right now. I’m just recognizing this right now. I do suspect some of it is that we’ve built very complex, profit-driven societies and created a lot of technologies and media we’re promoting that we may not need or want. At some point everything became so abstract nothing means anything.

But now I can ask myself what does it mean when I look at a book, a movie, etc. I can ask why I do something and what really matters to me. I can also act less like a marketer . . . at least when I’m not marketing.

Steven Savage

www.StevenSavage.com

www.InformoTron.com

[rottingfern]

WIP WEDNESDAY WRITING CHALLENGE

It’s WIP Wednesday: time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants. The goal is to encourage each other to break down barriers that keep us from creating.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so all players can find you in the notes), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; NOT titles, document names.

Post a snippet from one of them. The snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any in the last 7  days, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. (Make sure your asks are open!) You must then write 3 sentences in that file  and respond to the ask with the three sentences you wrote.

FINALLY, please send asks to 3 or more people who have reblogged this post! The game only works if everyone is encouraging everyone -  let’s strengthen our community!

That’s it! I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Writing Challenge snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

If you'd like to be tagged next week, let me know!

I'll start, under the cut:

My WIPS: - rainy ghost - threesome fic - 7hrs or 45mins - brutus in a birdcage - sleep paralysis vamp ------------------------------------

Noah loves how easy it is to play Lee until he gets exactly what he wants. They’re a sucker for positions, situations like these where they can’t wriggle free, where they’re forced to contend with his demanding mouth and hands and teeth; where they’re trapped between his hard cock and their own desire - desire that he pulls out like a thread, like an ingrown hair that looks like nothing but comes out long enough to braid - and where it’s easier to just concede to his demands than to flee. They just love playing the helpless maiden, that oh lord whatever can I do but give him what he wants, so I may be free bullshit, and perhaps it’s a bit of a maidenless mindset for him to play into it, but he will always give them what they need in order for them to give him what he wants.

from 7hrs 45mins

----------------------------------------

taglist: @throughwoodsanddirt @the-way-of-words @signs-of-ill-portent @cowpokeomens @meekahy

[catchyhuh]

If each of them would ever have YouTube / Tik Tok account... What would their content be?

i tried so hard to really and truly answer this but i just kept thinknf of this throughout

lupin: started as a joke but he IS having fun with it. he’s mostly just fucking around there’s like NO production quality there it’s just. viddy oe. and thats the case whether its youtube OR tiktok, either way it’s going to be quick cutesy spur of the moment junk. if he ever really went all out, he might make some kinda digital calling card (he has made video cards before to inform his targets he’s about to rob their asses lmao) but it’d be some stupid hilarious shit. like imagine those video wedding/graduation invitations with the poorly animated stock resources and generic acoustic guitar music. text slides in that says “i want that statue dumbass” (cymbal fade sfx) “so yeah i’ll be taking that” (dramatic text pan) “seeya thursday, can’t wait :)”

jigen: no profile pic no real username. just like jigen76943 with the blue j icon. NO tiktok. NO tiktok for our guy. insists lupin shouldn’t be using tiktok either as its shortening his already horrible attention span. jigen doesn’t really post videos too much, but if he does it must be something very important to him, really only uploaded so he doesn’t lose it. there’s a handful of videos from some of their vacations (whether its an intended vacation or just ‘oh shit we’re in spain. we should have fun with this’ type deal) but it’s almost all privated. he’s not really showy about stuff like that

fujiko: she had a momentary lapse of judgment when making it, because she thought, easy way to sucker in idiots and make some money off that ad revenue. but also… do you REEEALLY want the world knowing exactly where you are, what you’re doing, at any given moment? well. no. but if you heavily screen every tiny fraction of your video before even THINKING of posting it, maybe nobody will be able to tell you’re literally sitting inside the taj mahal. posted a makeup tutorial once while she was already wearing a full face of less obvious makeup just because it was funny to her to see comments insisting she was so much prettier “without makeup.” so yeah like everything else in her life she’s found a way to rig this for money and her own personal entertainment

goemon: Nay. you know i don’t personally subscribe to the “goemon cant understand ANY technology he’s so archaic teehee” philosophy, but this ain’t even about that, it’s about the fact that goemon is the only one who’s initial reaction was “you want me, a wanted criminal, tagging the people i have been around and locations i have been to? for ‘clout’????” at best he just uses jigen’s phone to watch random stuff that interests him, and like, he’s not PHYSICALLY RECOILING when fujiko tries to show him a funny tiktok, he enjoys the fun of it. but he’s not making one, and if he has anything to say about it, he will not be featured in lupin’s bullshit

zenigata: doesn’t even have his own. he’s like a background feature when (SURPRISE YATA SNEAK ATTACK) yata posts. yata will be like “wow the louvre!!! look!” and take a lil video and zenigata’s just in the background looking bored out of his mind. in the louvre. he’d never BULLY zeni into participating, but once yata becomes aware of the fact people are playing where’s waldo with his stuff, he might try to have fun with it. q&a with the inspector. share some life advice with the audience. and the whole time zenigata’s like “um. uh. don’t break the… law?” and the commenters eat it UP. zenigata thinks its stupid but he tells yata he’s doing it because yata enjoys it, and that's it. however secretly you know he’d fucking love the attention

so final verdict: unfortunately i believe all of these people would be baffled and horrified if i explained how many times i've rewatched defunctland's disney channel theme video in full. but they could have a little fun with it

[blackgirlalmighty]

Personal vent post incoming I don’t know how to do a read more on mobile I’m sorry:

I’m so sick of struggling like this. I am so broke all the fucking time and I feel like a failure and a loser and a shitty person bc my younger autistic sibling is my dependent and we’re barely making it. He was denied disability. We have no parents to live with or ask for help. They’re dead. Grandparents are dead too. I work full time and technically ‘make too much’ for food stamps or rent assistance or utility assistance

I can barely focus cause I’m so stressed out all the time. I have no motivation no energy to do anything even things that make me happy. My health is in the shitter and some days (like today) I’m literally shaking from not having enough to eat. I am in fucking eating disorder recovery and I have to lie to my care team about how much I’m eating because the answer isn’t that I’m purposely restricting it’s that I can’t afford groceries for two people every week.

It’s not always this urgently bad. Today I am freaking out because I am super short on rent and we have very very little food in the house and I have no idea what I’m gonna fucking do. I’ve texted a friend and an older brother (who literally just got out of homelessness himself) out of desperation but they’re not getting back to me yet. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Every single plan and plan B and plan C I had in place this entire year to try to carry us through financially either fell through or some bullshit happened that cleaned me out, starting with when we moved and the movers charged me $400 over what they told me initially and put my account negative and started the shitty chain reaction I’ve been fighting off all year. Every 2 weeks my account goes negative before I get my check. Every single month electric company is sending me a disconnect notice that I just barely beg them to let me pay a tiny bit of the balance to last me until the next one.

Finally started getting my feet under me a little in September then my fucking car broke down, $2k repair bill. Over $300 a month to pay that off with no ability to change the amount. That took every single cent of my yearly piddly raise and then some.

Then 2 weeks ago my cat starts pissing blood. Banfield can’t see her so she gets rushed to urgent care vet and thankfully she’s okay now but that was $400. The last of my teeny tiny cushion I had to try to prepare for days like today.

I’ve pulled from my 401k as much as I’m legally able. I’ve borrowed from friends and relatives who barely have anything themselves. My younger sibling had a tiny inheritance from his grandma and that’s almost completely gone now which breaks my fucking heart.

Where do we go from here? What the fuck am I supposed to do? Do we just get evicted and try to find a shelter? Do I sell off everything I own? Everyone around me seems to have their shit together and I feel like I’m drowning and drowning and drowning. My mom died and trusted my sibling’s care to me and I feel like I’ve let her down.

[winns-stuff]

RANT:

Okay this isn’t my usual rant but I’m just going to rant about this stupid ass fucking ad about Candace Owens making a whole damn series exposing where the BLM funds go. I’m tired of this whole conservative vs. liberal bullshit, when are we going to put the damn labels down and function like actual human beings. This shit is clown behavior and it’s one of the reasons why no one likes her fucking ass, I still haven’t forgotten about that stupid ass post she did with Kanye West but I’ll get back to that a little later. I just wanna put it out there that a lot of people that think exactly like her are always so quick to say things like “BLM is full of rioters” or “BLM destroyed their own things!” or even “BLM is a scam”, and the only thing I get is the destruction and vandalism and stuff. That was wrong of them to do and I know a lot of them were probably angry or upset at such slow progress with rising issues but that wasn’t the way to go, there’s no way I can defend that. But what I will say is that I hate how it completely overshadowed the actual victims and their families who are associated in BLM because they truly do want justice. We’re not complaining because police brutality is fucking real, sorry to burst your bubble, and it’s taken too many innocent lives. There’s too many family members out there who have suffered and are continuing to suffer because of the lack of accountability and actual compensation from the police department. You guys tend to forget that not everyone in the movement is there to just fucking riot, it’s real people who are in a desperate need for justice and change. Why not separate them from that when you know just flat out saying “BLM is all riots and destruction” is just invalidating their pain.

Now, you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with the ad or the series? I’ll tell you that now. She brings up sources and receipts talking about how the leaders of BLM take the money they receive and basically it just “vanishes” in mid air. Honestly, I’ve been trying to research that whole thing and I’m gonna be transparent… None of it really adds up, there’s some sources that says it was a hoax and social media users just made it up while there’s others who claim it to be true so I’m really on the fence about it since there’s not a lot of solid proof about it that I can confidently refer to. But if it is true and she is concerned about people supporting and funding BLM why not start your own movement to help the families who were affected? I don’t get how exposing the movement is supposed to help anyone. Yeah, now you have your point across and now people can refer to your series to “prove” it’s true but at the end of the day you’re only invalidating the families affected. Like I said earlier if you move away from the fucking leaders and everything you get the families and friends of people affected by police brutality, these people are not just marching and going to all of these protests just because they’re fucking bored and they have nothing to do, in some why they’re all connected to the root of BLM which is to advocate for those suffering at the hands of corrupt police officers. If you care enough to make a whole series about it why not shed some light on the families who haven’t seen justice for their deceased or prosecuted loved ones for years. Why not fund some other organization or create a new one that won’t cheat people out of their money? If you have the access and money for a series then you can definitely try and reach out to actual victims. It’s just slimy fucking behavior that instead of doing all of this she makes it seem like BLM in itself is a scam and fraud and no one should pay attention to it, you’re literally taking away attention from the real people involved in this shit maybe you should reevaluate what kind of shit you spread.

Now that I’ve got that down we’re going to talk about her infamous photoshoot with motherfucking Kanye West. First of all, can everyone please stop egging this guy on? You’re all not helping he obviously has a lot of mental issues and you guys playing into them for your own gain is disingenuous. Kanye is known for doing crazy shit all the damn time even out of the expense of others, why you decided to follow him is wack on your part and speaking of his mental issues, I’m not trying to say that he’s a damn baby or anything or that his mental issues is why he does all of this weird shit I have mental issues and I’ve never thought about doing half the shit he does. He’s just a weird person, his mental issues shouldn’t excuse his actions and behavior because they’re still hurting people. Like this “White Lives Matter” thing, it irks my spirit that people continue to feed into this bullshit really thinking that it’s some fucking peaceful sign of equality. They’re obviously disrespecting the actual movement, the people who created that entire thing do not care about the black lives being taken away every single and threatened either, these people don’t care that racism and the lack of emotional intelligence is killing and harming innocent people every single day, why you chose to endorse something like that is beyond me but honestly I’m not surprised anymore. I’m just sick and tired of this bullshit, stop being fucking “woke” for once and show some damn sign of humanity. It’s like you’re soulless shells or something, society should not be evolving backwards and we should not be showing such low amounts of emotional intelligence and maturity.

[jodilin65]

Made myself comfy in bed on the wedge pillow I’m so glad I had when I got the Norovirus and now I’m ready to talk-type an entry. I typically take notes in between entries so I know what I want to discuss. Where should I start?

I guess I’ll start with the Facebook deadbeats, as I call them. There are about 5 people I wouldn’t mind deleting but I don’t really have the heart to do it. Mostly neighbors. The honker and a couple of other guys. Even though the honker doesn’t appear to want anything to do with me, he’s friends only so if I want to see what he’s up to when he’s here, this is the only way to see unless he deletes me. If we ever do move, though, then he’s gone.

I don’t have the heart to delete Linda even though she’s pretty quiet. Nor do I have the heart to delete Adonis who’s been using other accounts that he doesn’t seem to want to add me to. He only checks into the one we’re connected on once in a lifetime.

I just like to keep the friend count as low as possible and only add those who really matter and are going to at least once in awhile react or comment on something of mine because it’s easier when it comes to customizing audience settings for various posts. If I had many dozens or hundreds of people to go through, that would be a real pain. So while the idea of dropping the count from 20 to 15 people is appealing, I’m going to leave things alone for now.

So my sleep isn’t cursed, huh? Yeah, right! And why would whatever’s cursing it let me sleep after 3 days of having decent energy? I don’t usually make it 3 days, after all. One or two is more like it. So what just had to happen? A power failure of course. I was sound asleep when the power went out 4 hours after I crashed. What is it with this 4-hour bullshit? I know the number 4 is very unlucky but it seems like shit that’s going to happen is usually after I’ve been asleep for 4 hours.

I had to stay up long enough for things to reset so I could restart the sound machine and the fan and turn off the bedroom and closet lights. Tom was pissed because he was in the middle of a $20 job. Luckily, when the power came back on he was able to pick up where he left off. Also luckily, it didn’t take me one or two hours to fall back asleep. I was probably up for 20 or 30 minutes, though. If it’s more than a few minutes, then that’s all it takes to leave me tired the following day, and I am. Maybe that will help keep me calm along with the fact that I cut my waiting time to 10 minutes today before coffee because I felt wound up last night. Tom thinks it’s just because I’m on nights and that’s probably true, but just to be safe from accumulation, I cut the waiting time. No more of that for a while, though, because it’s getting closer to labs.

Amanda has been upgraded and there are new games. A few stupid role-playing games but she gets some beautiful outfits for it. I asked the dev what I’m supposed to do with all my coins if gems are required to make most purchases and he says he’s got something in the works in the future.

One of the daily tasks is glitchy and she freezes. He asked for a recording of it. So Tom looked up how to record on Androids and at midnight when the tasks reset, I’ll get a recording of it.

I’m now 70% through my ride and my rank is 113. In a few days, I hope to get out of Ohio.

My TMJ seems to be a little worse lately and I may have to go back on my nasal spray. I haven’t had any sneezing fits but since the ear and nose are connected, the congestion I’ve been having puts pressure on the head and neck in general.

I didn’t know you could do this till Tom told me (damn, that guy is smart!) but I love how I can have Alexa set the brightness of the lights. Rather than have both bedroom lamps on at 100%, it’s nice to be able to have just one on at 10% at night so I have just enough light to see my way when coming and going to the bathroom. I don’t like to use the one off the hall when he’s sleeping in case he wakes up needing it.

I thought of adding tags to my Blogger entries. Well, they call them labels there. But I don’t want to go through nearly 10K entries and I don’t know that I would like seeing certain people’s names on my blog regularly right there in front of my face.

Burger Queen is better than Burger King. He got some beef patties and I made us some awesome burgers. They were definitely better than Burger King’s but not the fries. We don’t have a deep fryer because it’s not healthy so I had to bake them and baked fries just aren’t quite as good as fried.

To catch up on dreams since I didn’t write yesterday, I had a dream that I was going to ask Doc A if we could be running partners in a race which is pretty interesting considering that I can only run all of 2 minutes at 4 MPH which has certainly got to be quite laughable to her, LOL.

I was in the middle of a dream about asking Tom why he didn’t like Alyssa back in Cali when the power failure woke me up.

When I went back to sleep I had a dream that I ordered hair dye and received an assortment of different colored wigs instead.

Then I dreamed that we were vacationing somewhere. He was finishing up charging the car when a bull that had been loose in the area approached the car that I was sitting in. The thing started ramming my door and Tom hurried to disconnect the car and get us out of there.

Back at the lodge we were staying at, we asked someone who worked there if they’d seen the bull and the guy said, “We haven’t seen him since Saturday.” It was the middle of the week so that told me it had been a few days.

As we were walking down some corridors later on, I noticed a door open on one end and hoped the bull couldn’t fit through it if it happened by.

[redpaperclub]

It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

----

Author's Note :

Well, I wasn’t expecting to see THIS pop-up on my screen while logging onto Tumblr for the first time in months … But since we’re on the subject, I might as well write down some of my thoughts regarding the infamous "tumblr dot com".

So, for starters …

Damn, it’s been 10 years huh. I remember first realizing that I’ve been on this website for a while now about two years ago when I calculated that I’ve been on this site for about eight years. I didn’t think much of it and kind of interpreted as a “frozen-in-time” type of situation. As in, I’ve stopped using this site a loooong time ago and don’t plan on browsing and/or posting on it anymore. But wouldn’t you know it, time is linear after all ! It just feels kind of weird to see ’10 years’ on the screen when it shouldn’t be but here we are.

I’m not really gonna dive too much into the Tumblr discourse and really just want to focus on a couple of main takeaways from my experience on this dumpster fire of a website. So apparently, I’ve been on this website for ten whole years and I completely missed the memo. I’m not surprised. Even though I wasn’t expecting this it still kind of sucks knowing that I didn’t get the chance to celebrate something I honestly wouldn’t mind attending lol. But whatever. I can always queue this post for a later date.

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we ?

I started this account back in October 2013 but didn’t start posting anything until January 2014 and I’m guessing those first couple of months were just me liking posts and getting the general feel of tumblr. I don’t remember much from those early years except for me unironically thinking that this is one of the best websites I’ve ever come across (and that opinion has remained largely unchanged even with all the bullshit over the years). Looking back at my old Tumblr account feels a bit surreal but it’s not the first time that I’ve taken a stroll down memory lane. I’ve actually looked back at archived posts in the past a few times and it’s such a nice little time capsule of such an awkward time in my life. I have a lot of fond memories of being on this site whether it be laughing my ass off over some meme/shitpost, reblogging some aesthetically pleasing pictures, or just being informed about the world around me. I even remember making a few original text posts with mild success (all in an effort to become “tumblr famous” lol).

I started posting less frequently sometime around 2016 and almost completely stopped towards the beginning of 2017 only to return almost three years later just before the pandemic started. I completely stopped using this site back in August 2020 for whatever reason (likely due to lack of interest altogether) and haven’t posted anything since.

Yet here I am ! Making one last post before archiving this blog for good.

But seriously though. I think getting this notification is just what I needed to make a proper departure from this hellhole of a site lol. And it’s better than just leaving it on some random post. Kind of wish I could talk about more things but I think a general overview feels better than something more specific anyway. It’ll make more sense if I ever decide to revisit this blog (which I likely won’t but whatever).

I suppose my main takeaway from this website has to be the general vibe of it. It’s one of the few places where you can post whatever you want without feeling intruded by the outside world. And sure, you could argue that many websites operate this way. But there’s something about it’s anonymous nature and bottom-of-the-barrel economics that has allowed me to enjoy Tumblr to the fullest extent. I’ve never had to worry about what I like or post—mostly due to lack of followers anyway—and I get to enjoy my little Internet shenanigans with peace of mind. It’s a nice little corner of the Internet that I got to enjoy. But now it’s time to close this chapter in my life (how dramatic lol) with, ironically, the longest text post I’ve ever written on here.

So yeah …

Thanks for the memories, Tumblr. You will be missed ❤️

[wynterlanding]

open: m/f/nb 24+ (non) mutuals. pls do not like starter if we’re not mutuals. check exclusives before replying. posted in beta! muse: Landon B. Wynter. 32-36. director. plot: Landon is doing research for a new documentary involving a shady governmental science facility. y/m may or may not have legitimate information that will assist in his production. It can be helpful or detrimental. inspo: cosmic horror. lovecraft. eldritch horror. a basic starting point: hmu if interested in plotting more.

Every filmmaker vows to dive deep into storytelling. No matter if it hails back to his days as a documentary artist or his current foray into popular cinema. The man’s gone a long way from small time to the big time these days. He’s well known now but there’s still a calling to his roots. Documentaries like these only come along once in a lifetime. The odd mysteries of life, an intrigue bordering on discovering something unexplainable is right on the market for Landon’s interests. Something particularly odd about this whole incident is the involvement of government science. People have conspiracy theories about all things. Flat Earthers be damned there is always some conspiracy nut out there pushing their insane philosophy. Common place in the world and he’s not someone to look at boy who cried wolf syndrome with a realistic view. Maybe he’s more grounded in reality due to the bullshit he’s dealt with. That’s absolutely beside the point as he does research for this potential project. The studio never said he couldn’t work on docs anymore. Still it’s a huge maybe. Following up on leads is akin to detective work and when dealing with an account from someone not rightly in their mind, well, dead ends are a thing. “So you’re sure that’s the only thing coming out of there?”

“What more do you think, Landon? I told you that was all the lead I could dig up.” His assistant seemed outright done with the whole thing and it hasn’t even started. “It’s disturbing.”

She has a point. Ramblings of mentally unstable have that effect in most cases. He’s probably desensitized to a lot of things considering he brings the grotesque to life as a career. More like a passion but it’s the idea that counts. He offered a seat to her, pulling a chair. On the road means stopping off for at least one drink. “Azathoth sounds like it belongs in a creepypasta, Maya. Could be a made up word. Just gibberish and yet I’m here trying to piece together details from this place to make a doc? How do you think that’s gonna go?”

Maya rolled eyes, placing a hand atop his arm when he joined at the table. “Now you voice your skepticism? If I knew this would happen I never would have forwarded their information.” Her eyes slipped past the director, tilting her head a bit. “… I swear I’ve seen them before.”

Landon turned his head enough to check where she’s occupied. “Mm. Maybe someone recognizes me. Just when I think we’re gonna be low key.”  

[ljsstories]

Chapter Twenty Four: Jumping To Conclusions

Since that photo of Chloe kissing Jensen on the cheek had leaked, he was avoiding her like the plague. He would only see her to film scenes and then he was off in the other direction not even making eye contact with her to hide in his trailer. Landon had noticed how on edge he was, he tried to offer him some friendly advice, but Jensen wasn't in the mood to listen. It had come to light that it was the studio who leaked the photo trying to get some publicity for the movie. Jensen almost quit over it and Landon was starting to lose his laid-back disposition. "Does it really matter brother?" He'd asked Jensen one morning in his trailer, "I mean the people closest to you know the truth..." Not all the people closest to him, Jane didn't know that it was all bullshit!

"It matters to me! I don't want to lead that girl on! She's already following me around like a lost little puppy! This is just a step too far!" Landon sighed and ran a hand through his usually perfect long, brown hair which looked rather windswept despite there being no wind at all. He looked stressed, which for Landon Ellis, was not a good look.

"Dude I am trying here, okay? This is the biz! You and I both know all the dirty tricks the studios and the managers and the agents pull to make us relevant! Why is this such a surprise to you now? After all these years?" Jensen could see the dark circles under Landon's eyes, he always looked at least ten years younger than his age, but on this day, it wasn't a stretch to believe that the guy was pushing fifty.

"I don't know! Maybe I'm just tired of it all, you know?" Landon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Brother, we're all tired! Believe me!" Apart from Jensen's little wobble, everything was going great with the movie, so why was Landon so stressed out? Maybe it was because his entire life was going to be laid bare in front of billions of people. Jensen knew that he was overreacting, that there were far more important things to be worrying about, but he couldn't help it. Jonah had taken a strop and refused to pass on any more messages to Jane, he'd told him to do his own dirty work, whatever that meant. He had no way of communicating with her indirectly anymore and it pissed him off, Doctor Jenna had told him not to stalk her, he was trying so hard not to, but sometimes he would lurk around her social media accounts to get the tiniest fix. He'd stopped liking any of her posts, he was a silent supporter now, he was taking what he'd learned in rehab seriously and giving Jane space...and it was killing him! Thank God he had this movie to take his mind off of things a little, but now with the whole Chloe thing, there was nothing he wanted more than to message Jane and tell her not to believe the press, he was still completely and utterly hers! "Jensen please just play the game. I know it's all a fucking joke, I've been there, but will you just suck it up...for me?" Jensen looked Landon in the eyes, his pleading blue eyes, the whites almost pink. He felt bad for being the cause of Landon Ellis' anxiety, but he just couldn't play this game anymore, not after everything he'd been through.

"How can you even ask me that when you've lived my life?" Landon's blue eyes widened in surprise, obviously he wasn't expecting Jensen to resist, "You've said to me many times that you wished that there was someone like you when you were younger to guide you through things, to help you navigate the murky waters of fame!" He could see Landon half nodding, looking confused as to where this conversation was going, but still agreeing with what Jensen had to say, "So why are you asking me to repeat your car crash of a life? You lost your Jane over this kind of shit! Why are you asking me to risk losing mine? I might not find another like you did, you just got lucky!" Landon sat back on the seat and stared straight ahead, as if he was having a good think about what Jensen had just said. He scratched his beard softly, still looking like he was deep in thought, blinked several times then turned to look at Jensen.

"I'm sorry!" He looked sad, Jensen didn't like seeing that emotion on the face of his mentor, "You're right, I..." Landon shrugged and squeezed his eyes shut, with a huge sigh he said, "...you shouldn't have to deal with this, and you won't from now on! I'll fix it, I promise! I've let you down!" Shaking his head and looking down at the ground, this was the first time Jensen had ever seen Landon in doubt, he was always so confident but right now he just looked so damn exhausted.

"You have never let me down Landon! Don't ever think that! I understand how much pressure you're under to get this movie made. I understand the ass kissing that must be done when you want your work to be taken seriously, I get it I do!"

"That's no excuse, I should have stood up for you when they told us about the leak, I should have told them to shoot the whole thing down!" Jensen felt guilty for pushing back, it had really given Landon a moral dilemma, "I will do better for you than I did for myself! I promise you! The number of women I was supposed to have dated and never did is ridiculous! Debunking this rumour about you could be a little fuck you to the sons of bitches that did the same thing to me back in the day!" He patted Jensen's shoulder and smiled sadly, "I will do right by you!" And he did, when asked about the romance rumours about his two leads Landon told everyone that it was completely untrue, and that Jensen and Chloe were just friends. Chloe on the other hand was milking it for everything she could get, giving the media coy smiles and winks while neither confirming nor denying it that she was dating Jensen Reed. All the while Jensen was terrified that Jane would see all of the crap that the tabloids were saying about him and believe it. He decided to sit Chloe down and explain his situation with Jane, how she was the one he was devoted to and that by feeding the press with her cryptic behaviour Chloe was damaging his relationship with her.

"You're talking about that girl who did the food for Dexter Maloney's latest exhibition and does those cute little YouTube videos?"

"Chloe I am pleading with you to just tell anyone who asks that we're just friends! Tell the truth!" Chloe's eyes were wide as she looked at him, he'd gathered the courage to knock on her trailer door and go inside to discuss this whole nightmare, but she still wasn't taking it seriously.

"Okay, well if you wanna talk about the truth to me then let's do that because that girl you're talking about is totally dating Corey Tyler from that Australian soap opera, Love And The Waves or whatever it's called!" Jensen let out an unexpected laugh, "No, seriously! He's landed the part of Jonathan Harker in that new Dracula reboot for HBO! He's big news right now and he's also been romancing your girl so..." Chloe looked to the side and tugged a strand of her blonde hair, "...I know you're full of shit Jensen Reed! You just don't wanna be with me so don't you come in here and talk to me about telling the truth!" She stomped her foot for effect and huffed, still refusing to look in his direction. "So, I will say whatever the fuck I like about us, because that's how it's done in this business! I'm too good for you anyway, you'll never know what you're missing!" Jensen didn't realise that his mouth was gaping wide open until he closed it and his tongue was like sandpaper, leaving Chloe's trailer in disbelief. There was no way that Jane was seeing anyone, not so soon after her mother's passing! Even if she was, it would never be that beach bum Corey Tyler! He was so not her type, no way!

***

It was all over the internet, Jensen Reed and Chloe Cornell were the newest big thing in Hollywood. The photo of the kiss was everywhere, and Jane couldn't escape it, Eliza said it was all a load of lies and tried to get Jonah to confirm it, but he wasn't speaking to Jensen again, so he didn't know if it was or not. He doubted it was true but that was all he could give the girls without actually speaking to Jensen, which he wasn't going to do because he hated him right now. The Reed brothers really were a pair of children sometimes, Jane despaired of their behaviour. She was surprised to feel both hurt and relieved over Jensen's romance rumours, deep down all she wanted was for him to be happy and she hoped that this Chloe Cornell made him feel that way. He deserved it after everything. "I just don't believe it!" Eliza had mumbled, sitting on the couch ramming forkfuls of stir fry into her mouth, "He didn't get over you just like that, I call bullshit to the whole thing!" Eliza talked and chewed at the same time, a right little multi-tasker.

"Well maybe she just...took his breath away or something. I don't know how pretending to be someone's boyfriend on a daily basis affects your real life. He could just have fallen for her!" Jane shrugged, trying to conceal the true hurt she was feeling over Jensen's new love.

"Bollocks!" Eliza declared, gulping down her food and giving her big sister a scowl, "It's all publicity for Landon's big film! You'll see!" And she did, a few days later Landon Ellis himself was quizzed about the blooming relationship between his two lead actors and he laughed and said they were just friends. Landon Ellis had a tell when he was lying, he would blink up to five times before answering with a pearly white grin, during this particular interview he didn't blink once. Maybe it was all just a bunch of crap made up to promote the film, maybe Jensen and Chloe were just friends after all! Whatever the truth was, Jensen certainly wasn't going to tell Jane personally, he'd stopped all contact with her. She never heard from him these days, not even through Juliet or Jonah. Juliet was too busy chewing her ear off about how big her bump was getting and sending her photos to prove she wasn't lying. She was really excited to become a mother but still trying to find a way to tell the father she didn't want to marry him. Jane enjoyed hearing from her, they had a mutual crush on Dexter Maloney and when Jane told her all about the exhibition Juliet told her she was jealous.

"Why did he have it in London though?" She had enquired, now that Jane had the answer, she was happy to share.

"Well, apparently his ex-girlfriend Katie Reese lives in London, she dumped him in high school, and he never got over it so as a bit of a fuck you he held it there. She's still with the former band mate she dumped him for and she's miserable!"

"Oh! Oh! Jeremy Price!" Juliet gasped, "Yes, he left the band when they were basically nobodies and called Deadly Nightshade and he took the name with him! He's such a dick, Jensy got into a full-on fist fight with him one time at Coachella!" Jane tried not to giggle at the thought of skinny Jensen Reed in a punch up, "Yeah! Real asshole! Well good for Dex, he's so dreamy! Every time I see him my ovaries explode!" Jane understood completely, standing face to face with him was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her, and she'd kidnapped an A-lister!

"How is Jensen getting on with his film?" Jane slotted it in there casually, hoping that Juliet wouldn't realise that she was fishing for any kind of details.

"He's pretty busy, we hardly hear from him and he's still living with loopy Landon and his family. He visits mom a couple of times a week but that's about it. Jonah's working on the album by himself, doing Jensen's job bossing the others around but because he's the second youngest in the band, TJ and Kris don't take him seriously and kind of give him a hard time!" She could hear Juliet's sad sigh on the other end, "Jonah had a huge row with Jensen over it and now they're not talking, ugh, boys!" She groaned in exasperation.

"That's all you need; you don't need the stress for your little one!"

"Ain't that the truth! Honestly, it's like my two little brothers never left pre-school the way they behave! They're such children!" Exactly what Jane was thinking, it was so nice to bond with someone who thought the same way she did. "It's all pure fiction you know!" She added quietly, Jane didn't know what she meant, "The rumours about Jensy and that car crash Chloe Cornell? Pure and utter fiction! There's no way he's dating her!" But she didn't know that for sure, she was just speculating, who knew what Jensen was capable of now, he was a changed man after his time in rehab.

"I just want him to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted for him!" Jane tried not to show how much it affected her, "He deserves some happiness, you all do!"

"So do you girl, after everything you've been through these past few months? You so deserved meeting Dexter Maloney!" Juliet laughed softly and sighed, "But seriously, I will eat my placenta if my brother is dating that girl! That's how confident I am that he's not!" Jane wished she could believe it, but Chloe Cornell was just too pretty, how could Jensen resist her?

A few days later Eliza received a surprise visitor, Jonah turned up on the doorstep on one knee with his eyes screwed firmly shut and one hand over his heart like he was pledging allegiance to an invisible flag. As Jane opened the door to this sight, he began spouting a whole speech, "Eliza Emily Thomson, I love you; I miss you; I want to be with you every moment of every day! I'm here to ask you to take me back, just...please take me back and you will not regret it I promise!" He gingerly opened one eye when his speech was met with silence, looking up at the sister of his beloved instead of Eliza, his cheeks began to glow a pretty crimson colour and he scrambled to his feet. "Janey! H-hi! Is Eliza home?" Jane tried not to let out the laugh she was barely holding in and nodded as Jonah stood looking down at his shoes and playing with his hands.

"Yes, come in!" Eliza was in the garden with Daisy, lazily lying on a blanket on the grass in a crop top and very short denim cut-offs. "Liza, there's someone here to see you!" Jonah slid past Jane and out into the back garden with his hands in his jeans pockets, just like his brother, his cheeks still a shocking shade of red. Eliza looked up at the towering figure that had blocked her light and an odd noise escaped from her mouth, like someone was strangling her.

"What the fuck?" She whispered while attempting to stand as Jonah took her hands and helped her up like a gentleman.

"Hey baby-I-I mean, hello Eliza!" Eliza continued to stare at him, her feelings over his surprise visit unreadable under her sunglasses.

"Jonah, you're supposed to be working! Why are you here?" She spluttered as Jonah hung his head like a naughty schoolboy and then Eliza's feelings were laid bare as she ripped off her sunglasses, she was in shock...but also rather annoyed.

"I needed to see you, after our last conversation I...couldn't leave it like that! Not without talking to you face to face!" What conversation? What was happening? Why hadn't Eliza told Jane about this conversation? What was said???

"There was no need, I understand how busy you are! You don't need to justify..." And he was down on one knee again, "Whoa, Jonah get up, what the fuck is this about?"

"Eliza Emily Thomson..." He did the whole speech thing again, but this time it was confident and clear, and he did it all with his eyes wide open. Jane was strangely proud of him, "...I love you; I miss you; I want to be with you every moment of every day! I'm here to ask you to take me back, just...please take me back and you will not regret it I promise!" He was met with another silence, looking up at Eliza with such a hopeful expression, he was adorable. He reminded Jane of his brother, how alike they were in that moment, it made her envious of her sister.

"Jonah, it's just not going to happen! I'm sorry!" Jonah looked down at the ground again, one hand across his heart like it was at the front door.

"But...why?" He looked back up at Eliza with such sadness, "Don't you love me? Has our time together meant so little to you?" Poor Jonah, Jane could see that his heart was breaking.

"Of course I love you! That's not the issue!" Eliza looked frustrated and sad, this had just been sprung on her and she didn't know how to let him down without hurting him.

"Then what else matters? We love each other! If it's the distance..."

"No, it's not that!" She waved his words away with her hand.

"Then what?" He was still on one knee, looking up at her, his eyes begging her for a reasonable answer as to why they couldn't be together, because he didn't have one, it was so clear and simple for him...love trumped everything!

"I do love you Jonah, I want to be with you but..." She got down on both of her knees and clasped his hands in her own as he gazed into her eyes with hope and confusion, "...I'm twenty-two years old! I have my whole life ahead of me, after mum..." She trailed off and looked over at Jane, who nodded her approval of whatever she was about to say, "...I now know how precious life is! How every moment is a moment to be grateful for! I have dreams Jonah; I want a career and I want to travel and...I want to spend time with my sister after years of treating her like a complete stranger!"

"Yeah, and I won't get in the way of that, I'll never stop you from living your life baby! Just as long as I'm in it, I wanna marry you! I wanna have kids with you!" Eliza's face was mixed with horror, what twenty-two-year-old girl's face wouldn't be with talk of marriage and babies? "But I will never stop you from shining, I'll never stop you from pursuing your dreams! I'll support you; I'll help you; I-I-I'll do anything!" Eliza shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Jonah, please don't do this! Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do! I'm too young for marriage and babies, I don't even know who I am, I need time! I need time to grow and to learn and find out who Eliza Thomson really is! I've got so many plans, but..." Both Jonah and Eliza were sniffing back tears, Jane didn't know what to do so she remained in the doorway looking on helplessly, "...they don't involve you, at least not right now, I just want us to be friends. Please say you understand! Please don't hate me!" Jonah smiled sadly and placed a hand on her face, then he kissed her gently on the lips.

"I understand, I don't like it, but I understand! God, I love you so much!" Jane left them alone then, as they hugged and cried in each other's arms. She was proud of her sister, albeit sad for her and for Jonah, but if they truly were meant to be together, then he would wait for her to find herself. It would all work out in the end. All Jane wanted to do at that moment was to talk to Jensen about all of this, get his take on it, but he wasn't interested in talking to her anymore...he had the beautiful Chloe with her tanned, endless legs. Why would he care if Jonah and Eliza weren't together? His career and his love life were doing great, Jane was now but a distant memory!

***

Jensen had scoured every social media platform Jane was on for evidence that she was dating that annoying Corey Tyler, he found none. Chloe was just trying to piss him off, well it worked, and he'd been giving her the cold shoulder ever since. Landon's stress levels were at a healthy low as he did what he promised, he did right by Jensen and sat Chloe down to have a few words. She'd supposedly burst into tears and declared her love for Jensen, much to Landon's dismay, it had gotten too much for him and he drafted in his wife Sarah to deal with the crying. Landon also insisted that Jensen take Chloe out for dinner and that they have a proper talk about the whole thing, be honest with each other and let their feelings out in the open. He didn't want to do it, but he also didn't want Landon having a breakdown, so he chose the former thing he didn't want and took Chloe to dinner. "Look I know that you have this weird infatuation going on with that Jane girl but..." Chloe sighed, swiping a stray hair from her huge eyelashes with her pinkie, "...Jensen she's with someone! You lied! Landon told me all about your thing with her and quite frankly..." She fiddled with the cutlery in front of her and let out a deep sigh, "...I'm here, right in front of you! You never know, you might like me by the end of this dinner!" He very much doubted it, she was far too grabby for his liking. She was always squeezing parts of him that were not for squeezing or she was rubbing up against him, yes that was still a thing.

"I agreed to this so we could clear the air, this is not a date Chloe!" She pouted at him, his exasperated tone didn't go unnoticed, "I didn't lie about Jane, she is in my heart! As for you inferring that she's involved with that beach dick Corey Tyler, I see no evidence whatsoever that they're a thing, and anyway..." Jensen scoffed, "...where would she even meet him in the first place?" Chloe was scrolling through her phone with a smirk on her face, was she even listening? A waiter whizzed past them as she brushed his arm, not looking up from her scrolling.

"Hey, sweetie will you bring us some champagne please?" Jensen slammed his fist on the table and yelled at her.

"Damn it Chloe, don't you listen? I'm a fucking alcoholic!" A few other diners turned to look in their direction, a couple of producers and actors that Jensen knew from awards shows and after parties. It wasn't a secret, so he didn't care who heard, however this whole dinner thing was not helping his case for denying there was anything going on between them. Chloe was unmoved by his angry outburst as she shoved her phone in his face.

"There! See? You wanted evidence! There it is!" Jensen looked at the photo Chloe was trying to show him, it was of Jane with a male figure. Corey Tyler was towering over her holding her arms and looking down into her eyes. Jane's expression was hard to read, but they were definitely standing together, that asshole was even touching her, touching his Jane!

"Where is this?" Jensen mumbled, "Is it a photoshop?" Chloe let out a sarcastic chuckle and shook her head.

"Oh Jensen, they met at Dexter Maloney's gallery exhibit in London! Look, it's not doctored in any way, if it was, they'd slim her down a bit don't you think?" Chloe's smirk made his blood boil as Jensen scraped back his chair and stood up.

"Okay I've had enough of your shit Chloe!" He bent down and placed his clenched fists on the table, his face level with hers and added, "Don't you EVER talk about her in that way! DO YOU UNDERSTAND???" Chloe recoiled in horror as Jensen screamed in her face. The restaurant fell deathly silent as he straightened up and surveyed the room. "What? What the fuck are you looking at, huh?"

"Jensen you're embarrassing me!" Chloe mumbled, her eyes damp as she blinked several times and scanned the tables full of their peers.

"Like I give a rat's ass! Fuck you Chloe!" He pointed his index finger at her and narrowed his eyes, "You stay away from me, understand?" Standing outside in the fresh air, he looked up at the sky and wanted to hit something. He wasn't sure what he was so angry about, Chloe's comments about Jane or the fact that Jane actually knew Corey Tyler, that Corey Tyler had his hands on her and she was looking up at him. She wasn't dating him, it was impossible, he wasn't her type, and she was so much better than that...so much better than Corey and Jensen combined! She deserved better; she deserved the whole world! There was no way that douche could give her everything, no way in hell! He had his fucking hands on her! Ian drew up next to him in the alley where he was hiding and rolled the passenger window down.

"Ready to go boss?"

"Yeah, more than ready!" He replied quietly and jumped into the car.

The following day, sitting next to Landon and a couple of producers for the movie, Jensen realised that his outburst the night before had made ripples and not good ones. "So, Jensen my friend..." Landon began, unable to look him in the eyes, "...you need to reel it in somewhat..." He looked so uncomfortable as the producers sat at either side of him, watching him and studying his every word, "...you need to apologise to Chloe brother, you really do!" He seemed relieved to get that whole sentence out as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands down his thighs. Jensen hung his head and thought this through.

"Well, the thing is that she owes me an apology too! I feel violated if I'm honest!" The two producers stared at him with wide eyes as a small smile formed on Landon's face, "She's been sexually harassing me since we started and...well what am I to do about that?" A small giggle emitted from Landon as he covered his mouth and looked down at his lap. Producer one then spoke.

"Jensen, this is a serious accusation!"

"I know!" Jensen replied breathily, throwing his hands up in the air for dramatic effect, "But you know, inappropriate touching aside, she tried to get me drunk last night and that's why I lost it! You know how hard I've worked to control my addiction!" Jensen laid it on thick as Landon's giggle erupted into a fully blown raucous laugh as the producers looked to one another with concerned expressions. It was well known that Jensen Reed had alcohol issues, Chloe was well aware of that fact, if this didn't get her to back off...then nothing would.

"Jensen, what can we do to, um, persuade you to overlook this?" Jensen looked at Landon who had completely lost it and smiled.

"I suppose I could forget about it if the studio is prepared to quit pushing the whole co-star romance thing, maybe!" He shrugged as Landon shook his head with a huge grin.

"You sneaky little fucker!" He whispered as the two producers agreed to Jensen's terms. After they'd left, Landon placed a hand on his shoulder, "You know I really had no idea where you were going with the sexual harassment thing at one point, I was fucking shitting my pants! I thought my movie was fucked!"

"I wouldn't do that to you Landon! I like Chloe, I acknowledge that she has issues and she's young...but I can't have people thinking she's my girlfriend! I'm sorry, that's a step too far and you knew that!" Landon nodded in agreement and patted him on the back, "She needs to know that too!" Then Landon's smile faded when Jensen uttered his final words, "Or I'm out!"

The real reason for Jensen's resentment towards Chloe Cornell was not her insistent touching, it wasn't the fact that she threw petrol on the raging fire of their romance rumour, it wasn't because she'd ordered champagne and ignored the fact that he was an alcoholic, it wasn't even that she'd insulted Jane's appearance. It was because she had made the Corey Tyler thing real, she'd shown him tangible evidence that he couldn't ignore, that he couldn't unsee! That was why he hated her, that was why he'd screamed at her, that was why he could no longer allow people to think he was involved with her in any way, shape, or form! That was her crime, she made Jane's involvement with Corey real! From that moment on, Jensen felt pain, he had no idea where the pain was coming from, but he hurt all the time. He could barely concentrate on anything; he flubbed his lines and he found it difficult to be around his co-star. Landon's impressively long hair was falling out over the tension between his two leads and Jensen couldn't do anything about it, he hurt so much! Landon found him in his trailer, staring at an unopened bottle of Jack, and he was understandably angry. "Jensen? What the fuck man?" He grabbed the bottle and threw himself down beside him, "Don't you dare do this!" Jensen had never seen him so emotional, it snapped him back into reality.

"I just like to look at it from time to time!"

"Where did you get this!" Landon demanded, pointing at the heavy bottle in his hand.

"It's amazing what people will do for a rock star!" He chuckled and lay his head in his hands, "I wasn't gonna drink it I swear!"

"Said the alcoholic!" Landon muttered angrily, "You have to get your shit together little brother! Don't make me regret all of this! Don't make me regret putting my faith in you!" Jensen could feel him studying his face, "What's with you? It's not the Chloe thing, I know that much! In fact, you took that whole situation way too seriously kid! I can't help you if you don't tell me!" Jensen spilled everything to Landon, the Corey Tyler rumour that Chloe had made real during their dinner. He listened carefully and he didn't judge, but he was still very angry with him. "You can't turn to the bottle my friend! You just can't!"

"I know, I fucking know!" Jensen cried; he was just so tired of it all.

"I think you should call Doctor Jenna! Before there's no going back!" He was right, it was time for some intervention!

Doctor Jenna Riley arrived on the movie set the following day, accompanied to Jensen's trailer by Landon himself, opening the door to her smiling face gave him a sense of hope as she cocked her head to the side and greeted him, "Hello Jensen, long time no see!"

***

Jane had saved some money from the gallery gig, and she was going to buy some craft supplies with it. That was until she saw her sister glued to her laptop watching YouTube videos of special effects make-up tutorials. Eliza had expressed her interest in working in the film industry as a make-up artist, there was an intensive course down in London that lasted two weeks and it was pricey. Eliza was so passionate about it that Jane secretly enrolled her and paid for it with her own money. It was her twenty third birthday in a week and this would make the ideal present, since their dad was at a loss as to what to buy his youngest daughter, Jane was going to give this to Eliza from both of them. She was so excited to see her face when she found out she was going, Jane was bad with surprises and she wanted to tell her straight away, it was a struggle, but she was going to wait. Eliza and Jonah had agreed to remain friends and keep the option of them rekindling their romance open. She wasn't saying no to him forever, she was just putting their love on hold, which Jane could understand, as Eliza had said, she was still very young. Jane was having her own man troubles in the shape of irritating tanned beanpole Corey Tyler who had started following every social media account she had, and he bombarded her with messages constantly, then there were the messages from a handful of newspapers asking her about her relationship with Corey. She ignored and blocked them all, there was no relationship, how did they even find out that he was bugging her? At least they didn't know where she lived, neither did Corey Tyler, which was a relief. No turning up on her doorstep like the Reed brothers, just the odd parcel or flower arrangement now and again. She could handle that; besides he'd soon get bored and move onto the next poor girl he took a shine to.

It was Eliza who pointed out the offending photograph that had sparked the media's curiosity. It was a photo of her and Corey at Dexter Maloney's exhibition, she had to admit it did look questionable, with his hands on her arms looking down at her with his Labrador puppy eyes. Well as long as they were never seen together again, this would all fizzle out soon enough. There hadn't been much in the media about Jensen and his girlfriend, they seemed to be very private about their relationship during the final months of filming the story of Landon Ellis' life. They had been filming together for six months and the project was finally complete, Jonah had started talking to Jensen again and Juliet had given birth to a baby girl named Madelaine Stephanie Reed-Dean. Jane and Eliza had sent a gift that was shaped like a bouquet of pink and white flowers but was actually rolled up baby grows and socks. Still Jensen kept his distance, Jane heard nothing from him, and it stung, even though she knew he had someone else in his life, it hurt to think that their ten days together now meant nothing to him.

***

In actual fact, Jensen was dying to contact Jane, especially now since he was seeing Doctor Jenna Riley on a weekly basis. After his argument with Chloe and his almost fall from grace four months before, Jensen felt the need to keep his appointments with the good Doctor for purely preventative reasons. She was helping a great deal, but his biggest addiction was always going to be Jane, the pull to message her was so strong that it took everything he had not to. His baby niece was a nice distraction though, little Maddie, he was so in love! She was blonde like her daddy, but she had her momma's eyes. Jensen couldn't stay away from her, he wanted to cuddle her all the time. Jonah wasn't as enthusiastic as Jensen, but he loved his niece just as much. Juliet had babysitters coming out of her ears with her mother and brothers, but when it came to Charlie, things weren't great. She called off the engagement a few days after Maddie's birth and asked him if they could just be friends and co-parent. Jensen was relieved but also sorry that his sister would be a single mother. At least she had all of them to help her out, something that Jensen was doing when he wasn't in the studio with Jonah working on their latest album. Jensen changed diapers, he bathed Maddie and gave her bottles, he was loving the whole experience. Sweater Boy visited on a daily basis; he was still a hands-on dad even though the mother of his child didn't want to be with him. All in all, things were going great, Jensen would see Landon a few times a week too and have dinner with the Ellis family, another baby for him to play with in little Amelia. Landon's movie was in post-production, and he was getting stressed again, but Sarah knew how to keep him grounded, Jensen wished that he had a Sarah. He'd managed to stave off Chloe Cornell after a very rocky couple of months where neither of them spoke off set. They buried the hatchet though and were now good friends, even meeting up for the odd coffee or brunch which had the tabloids wetting themselves over the are they or aren't they question. Jensen didn't care, not even if Jane saw, she had Corey Tyler anyway, didn't she? That was another reason why he wasn't going to get in touch, he didn't want that whole shit show rammed down his throat! He didn't want to see her with someone else, it was too much for him, so he kept away. Life was pretty relaxed, making music and just chilling out, until one day Jensen received an unexpected phone call, "Hey Jensen!" His father Martin, "Please don't hang up, I-I need to talk to you! This is important!"

"What do you want?" He was going to hear him out, after his mother's revelations a while back, he owed him that much.

"I don't want to do this over the phone, I need to see you and your sister and brother. Will-will you meet with me? Son?" Son, yeah just drop that in there!

"When and where do you wanna meet?" They arranged a time and a place, but Jensen couldn't guarantee that Juliet and Jonah would agree to come, "Look I can't promise you that they'll be there, you understand that, right?"

"I do, but I'd really appreciate it if they could. Will you come, Jensen? Son?"

"I'll come, but it doesn't change anything between us, I'm just doing what's right, understand?"

"I do, I do! You're a good man Jensen, I'm so proud of you!" Proud of an addict who almost killed himself twice? Really?

Jensen didn't tell his siblings or his mother about the phone call from his dad. He went to meet him, at a park in downtown Los Angeles, by himself to get the lay of the land before involving anyone else. He didn't want Juliet or Jonah to be hurt again by their father. "Thanks for coming!" Martin nodded, sitting on a bench, he didn't get up. He looked frail, his hair was greyer than Jensen remembered, and he had a walking stick beside him.

"So, what is so important?"

"Did your brother and sister not want to see me?"

"I haven't told them you've been in touch; I didn't want them to get hurt again!" Martin nodded with a sad smile.

"Always the protector, aren't you son?" He looked up at him, he looked so tired and thin, "Will you sit down?" Jensen hadn't noticed that he was still standing, so he took a seat next to him, "That's better, you're so like your mother!"

"Yeah well, we all are, maybe that's the price you pay for abandoning us as children, your genes didn't get passed down to any of us!" Jensen looked straight ahead; he didn't want to look at his father.

"I left, that was my only crime! I tried to be in your life, but your mother told me that my children hated me and wanted nothing to do with me..."

"I know, mom told me everything, right before I ended up in rehab after almost dying!" Martin sighed loudly and put a hand on Jensen's shoulder.

"I wanted to visit you then too, but I was told you weren't allowed visitors! Well, non-family members they said, but I'm sure Steph had warned them not to let me in, as usual! She was bitter for a long time, she still is!" Martin shook his head, his breathing was laboured, Jensen was beginning to realise what he wanted to tell his children. "The reason I wanted to meet with you is because, well there's no easy way to say this but..."

"You're sick!" Jensen finished the sentence for him.

"I am, yes. A while back I was getting headaches and I was losing my balance, hence this infernal contraption." He pointed down at the walking stick Jensen had spotted when he arrived, "Turns out I have a brain tumour, stage four Glioblastoma. I'm dying son!" Jensen's legs felt weak as his breath caught in his throat.

"Is there nothing they can do?" He could barely form words, what was coming out was basic at best, he couldn't cope with larger sentences.

"It's too late, I've got months!" Jensen was feeling an overwhelming sense of deja-vu, this was what Mr Thomson had told his daughters when their mother was sick, this must have been how Jane felt! There was a long silence, then Martin broke it, "I saw that movie you did; you deserved that Oscar son, you were amazing!"

"I've won two!" Jensen mumbled.

"I know, I saw both those movies and I watched you collect both of those awards! I might not be around, but I'm always watching!"

"I'm sorry dad!" Hot tears stained Jensen's cold cheeks, still he could hardly say anything, this had come as more of a shock than he ever imagined. Why though? He hardly knew his father; he was practically a stranger!

"No need son, death is a part of life. I've made my peace with it, but I have so many unresolved feelings when it comes to my older children. Lucy and Ava know their father, you and Juliet and Jonah...well...I've got so many things to say and so little time!" That sad smile on his face, it was heart breaking, "I love all my children, always have and always will! I tried to fight to be in your lives, but I just grew tired of fighting, and I let you go, it's a mistake that will go with me to my grave which won't be long now!"

"I'll help you and Arlene and the girls, I have money, maybe there's some new treatment we can try?"

"You haven't changed a bit; you were always such a kind and caring little boy! You're just the same, only now you're a man!" Martin wiped his eye, was that a tear? "Is there a lucky lady in your life?" Now that was a question, one that would take too long to answer in this cold park.

"Oh, you know, eternal bachelor, that's me!" They both chuckled and continued to chat for a couple more minutes until Jensen insisted that his dad get home into the warm. They arranged to meet again, and Jensen promised to talk to Juliet and Jonah. As they said their goodbyes, Martin repeated what he'd said on the phone.

"I'm so proud of you, please always remember that!" Jensen headed back to the car, where Ian waited for him, his heart was heavy, and his mind was in overdrive. It was his responsibility to break this news to his siblings, and he was not looking forward to it!

⏮️Previous/Next⏭️

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

[indiaalphawhiskey]

I think it got lost in the excitement of the weekend, but I wanted to say I really appreciated your babygate post. I think the way you don’t take away louis’ agency but also really point out how much bigger and seedier it is than many truly appreciate when they just get mad about him dropping mentions. And the reminder that it’s not Louis that has say over the kid, but his actual parents. Anyway, I have a lot of issues with babygate and how it’s been handled and how Louis is playing along right now, but I’m holding space for the fact that I don’t know anything and that very very powerful people have vested interest in having this stunt firmly and very publicly tied around Louis’ neck. So, again, thank you for your post!

You’re most welcome, my love! I’m glad my thoughts helped add a little calm to the perspective.

I think, so often, especially in this political climate, we as a general public forget what it means to be a fan. The internet can really fool us into thinking we can see every single aspect of a situation because of the vast distance it’s closed between us and celebrities, and we start treating them like everyday friends, going so far as to oversimplify their situations because the optics make it seem so straightforward.

We have to remember, in entertainment especially, they’re decidedly not. And that doesn’t negate the need for accountability in anyway, but it does drastically shift the context of the conversation.

At the end of the day, we’re always going to come to a moment where the choice is between being strict or being generous with our view of who Harry and Louis are as people. And while I can definitely understand the draw of having staunch and unshakable standards with them, I often remind myself that the consistency of their characters have always, always managed to outshine the utter bullshit they’ve been surrounded by.

Sometimes, (and especially when it comes to supporting two heavily closeted celebrities) that and faith is really all you have. But, after 12 years in the height of the spotlight, it’s also a pretty damn good sign that we can still say as much.

[unwrittenlibrary]

Tee’s Summer Reads 🖤

hi all! as summer comes to a close and classes start back up again, i wanted to come on here and share some pieces i read over break that i just loved.

as always, heed to any and all warnings each creator has put in place. eighteen plus spaces deserve respect and you are urged to show them it.

— ➶ —

Bucky Barnes

i wished one the moon for you by @sunmoonandbucky • “After losing Bucky, you were devastated. So when Howard Stark asks for volunteers for an experiment, you're the first in line.” -> 40s buck & present bucky? love that lasts through time? love it

the shot heard round the tower & unwarranted weakness by @pellucid-constellations • “you just want to know if bucky has feelings for you. bucky just wants you to be okay.” -> these two pieces can be read separately, but i highly suggest reading them both because bucky is written so well and they made me feel warm all over. 

see the world the way you do by @vanderlustwords • “you start to see color when you meet your soulmate. bucky thinks that soulmates are a one of a kind thing.” -> there are So many lines in this that just... sit with you. i felt so much reading this. that tight feeling in your chest, pure happiness, anger... i just absolutely loved this. 

a little old fashioned by @gogolucky13 • “bucky is a bit subtle in telling you he likes you.”-> behold...sweet, shy comfort fic bucky. i go back and read this when i’m sad. 

he’s a good friend by @markandlexies • “reader is tired of watching bucky go on dates with leah and flirt with sarah.” -> give me all the oblivious, pining friends to lovers. just incredible writing and a truly lovely piece. 

tap by @houseravenclaws •  “bucky never talked much, he fell in love anyway.” -> you KNOW i already love sarah’s writing, it was on my last list. HERE’S MORE! this fic tore me apart in the best way and i still think about it all the time. it has become a go to. 

all the good things by @/houseravenclaws • “bucky’s been a little more than happy recently. sam thinks it has something to do with the pretty girl on the team.” -> need i say more? i needn’t say more. 

i love you, you idiot by @chrisevansjellybeans • “we’re best friends but won’t say we’re in love trope.” -> this fic made my heart sore. i love when writers have the ability to show love through the smallest of details and this fic did that so well. 

the things you’ve done by @divine-mistake • “what if the world ended tomorrow and all he did was spend his last day with you thinking about how you never hold his metal hand and you never walk on his left side and you constantly reach for his right arm?” -> OHHHHHHHHH MAN oh man this fic left me in shambles. absolute shambles and gave me a big, bright smile. insecure!bucky just does something to me. bucky is written perfectly in this. 

cornerstone by @agentofbarnes • this is a piece of zee’s (incredible) barnes’ au where bucky and reader (babydoll) are married with kids. -> i love the entire barnes’ au, but this piece honestly meant so much to me??? seeing bucky as an incredibly loving and open father just makes me so happy. 

leather jacket full of cats by @bucksfucks • “bucky brings home kittens.” -> nora doesn’t write fluff, but when she does it comes out absolutely incredible???? bucky and kittens?? PLEASE this made so happy (hi keep an eye out for more of nora’s work in the nsfw section) 

bulova by @babycap • “in the five years between the two snaps that changed it all, life had moved on, as life is want to do. In the aftermath of that final battle, you discover that time waited for no one (least of all you), and those you loved marched forward into it without you. Sam suggests you volunteer at the local retirement community to keep you busy, keep your mind from lingering on what—and who—you lost. In giving back, you find that time can be just as generous as it is cruel.” -> this is a babycap (dev my love) fan account. i have never read such beautiful words & i am always so stunned by the amazing works that dev puts out. i get so excited to read them. 

sunset by @belladonnabarnes • “bucky meets a pretty girl and her little sister at the zoo.” -> how did you know it was my dream to meet bucky at the zoo jaye?????? ahhhhh i loved this fic so much, it was so incredibly sweet i had the dopiest smile on my face when reading it. 

crawl home to her by @wkemeup • “stranded without coms, alone, and bleeding out in the middle of a russian snow storm, bucky is content to let nature take its course. only you won’t seem to let him go.” -> this fic is a masterpiece. a genuine piece of art. i was on the edge of my seat reading it, hoping i could faster than possible just to find out if bucky made it.

suburbia by @/wkemeup • “posing as husband and wife, you and bucky infiltrate a quaint suburban neighborhood in search of a hydra hacker. perhaps if you weren’t so in love with him and he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.” -> yeah this one HURT. in the best way, an absolute favorite. so so so good.

that was premonition, i think by @divine-mistake • “sometimes you wish you had never fallen in love with bucky. screw that ‘it’s better to have loved and lost’ bullshit. you wish you had never fallen in love with bucky barnes.” -> just so so good. i was speechless after reading.

Others

Sam Wilson

the summertime and butterflies all belong to your creation by @golden-bucky • “you’ve never been one for baseball, but sam wilson is enough to change your mind.” -> ok. listen. i HAVE always loved baseball and this fic made me dream of mr. sam wilson in a lil uniform and me cheering him on. it was so sweet and i just loved it. a dream come true.

scary love by @bvckysmoon • “the first ‘i love yous’ are always scary.” -> being in love with sam wilson? yes please! this fic is so tooth achingly sweet, i adore it.

that way by @belouva • “you don’t know what label to fall under anymore. were you his roommate, friend or his lover?” -> i love roommate! sam… the first two parts of this series are so good.

Steve Rogers

you don’t know by @/divine-mistake • “until her gaze falls on you and her lovesick puppy dog eyes morph into saucers, leaving her frozen in pure shock. that visage quickly melts away to reveal a smug smile, aimed right at you, and you know exactly what she’s thinking at this moment.” -> steve & plus-size reader! i actually teared up, this fic hit really close to home and is beautifully written.

Spencer Reid

the one where everyone finds out by @reidscanehand • “Spencer Reid is in love with Y/N, and she’s in love with him...only they don’t know it yet...and they might be are definitely going to be the very last to know. And since Spencer and Y/N happen to be surrounded by the best profilers in the country, the rest of the team is, of course, the first to piece together the romance. Little by little, bit by bit, the team solves the case of Spencer and Y/N.” -> i constantly go back and reread this fic… it means so much to me!

work wife by @differentkettleoffishalltogether • “Spencer can’t help but feel a little jealous when it seems like his best friend is interested in someone else.” -> best friend spencer & love confessions? yeah that’s what i like.

Aaron Hotchner

dream a little dream by @ssahotchswife • “Following an injury, the reader dreams about time spent with Aaron Hotchner and his son. She relives heartbreak about Aaron's relationship with Beth and the love she has for Jack. Aaron must come to terms with his feelings for the reader when she wakes.” -> aaron hotchner is my comfort man and this fic makes my chest ache

NSFW

just friends by @/bucksfucks • “you and chris are just friends, right?” -> chris evans please i’m free on saturday

forbidden fruit by @/bucksfucks • “you attempt to set your ex’s things on fire. bucky has a better idea.” -> dadsbestfriend!bucky has my heart and it’s literally because of nora’s writing

appointments by @buckycuddlebuddy • “bucky barnes, finally being able to live freely in 21st century, accidentally gets a fuck buddy and starts to rediscover himself. the only weird thing about this situation is that you have to make an appointment to get railed by him.” -> ooooooooof i love this lil series so much

— ➶ —

these are all of my summer reads!!! i’ll definitely post another one after fall semester, this will most likely be a seasonal thing.

[auramindedd]

Thick Skull - SMAU*

Part 3

CorpseHusband x FemReader - Y/N

Desc: Brooke leaves, already making your day a little worse, but it gets better after streaming and playing some games with Corpse. Of course, with your luck, your day seems to be bad again when you read a bad comment and when you realize it’s came from someone who was your best friend.

Warnings: Cussing

Notes: i do go through all my comments so just know that you will be added to the taglist if you comment on a post or if you message me! :) also, my taglist for non-smau series/stories is just one taglist. you’ll be added to that one if you ask me to add you to the “non-smau taglist.” i only have two, it’s not individual for each series :)

i hope you guys enjoy!

and a quick question; if i made an smau series or even a non-smau series with an oc, would you guys enjoy that? i think i’d have fun writing that.

i’m also thinking of posting an smau series on my instagram so, if you want more, follow me there!

instagram: @/auramindedd

ah, one more thing b4 i post; i’m working on a non-smau post for “first meet” and for “talent.”

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The streaming starts later that night. You’re honestly feeling so much better now that you’re with Corpse, streaming and playing Animal Crossing. You give him a tour of your island, insisting you hold his hand while doing so.

“I decorated a house for you,” Corpse gasps; the cutest thing you’ve heard besides his laughs, giggles, and chuckles. “I assumed you like black a lot so, I made it mainly black, grey, and white, but I made this little area where we can read books together. And it’s colorful.”

“Gosh, you’re so fucking cute.” He mumbles. You catch on, and unsurprisingly, so does the chat. “Thank you, Y/N, I like it a lot.”

You give him a tour of the rest of your island. Every now and then, you look at the chat as the two of you are walking around and doing whatever you can on your island. The chat is filled with people shipping you two, telling you how cute you two are and how cute you two would be together. Thank God for being faceless - they can’t see how much your blushing, especially with Corpse’s compliments and nicknames.

For another two hours, you two build more of your cottagecore village. You only built a little bit of it because you and Corpse were too busy helping animals get food and a house. The pigs are your favorite, especially the baby ones.

After ending the stream, you decide to head to Twitter and talk to some supporters. It’s something you like to do every now and then. It’s been harder because of how fast you’ve been growing, but you’ll never stop doing your best to talk to them.

You try to only get to the good ones, but of course, as an influencer, you’re going to get hateful DM’s. They’ve never bothered you, but one in particular really did hurt you.

You’d never be enough for Corpse. I don’t even know how you two became friends. It’s pretty obvious he’s using you for a publicity stunt, that way fans can think he’s dating someone. Let it get through your thick skull.

It came from someone who doesn’t even have their account fully made. Their username is still the default one Twitter gives you, but this DM still got to you. You sit in your bed, reading it over and over again, letting it get through your thick skull.

You don’t even know what to think of it. You’re starting to feel like it’s true. Though, this person is so irrelevant. They’re not someone you know, they’re not even someone that supports you, Corpse, or any of your friends. What business would they have in any of your guys’ lives?

Maybe Corpse is using you as a publicity stunt. The both of you have been getting a lot of attention recently because people have been assuming you two are dating. Corpse has been getting a lot more views on his videos with you in them and you’ve been getting a lot more views on your videos with him in them. Maybe people do believe you two are using each other for clout, but that’d never be the case.

Now, it’s starting to hit you. Why did it hurt so much when one person - that you know of - assumes Corpse is using you for publicity and clout? People have said that about you and Rae, Brooke, Sykkuno, and Ludwig, but it never bothered you so much.

You think it over and over, and you can only go back to one thing. You’re starting to catch feelings for Corpse and the last thing you’d want to know or find out is that he’s using you for clout.

It never occurred to you, that even though you have a smaller platform than the rest of your friends, being in Corpse’s videos/streams, and him being in yours, has really given you two a lot of attention and this could be the reason he’s still talking to you. You’re sure Corpse is not that type of person, he’s the sweetest person you’ve ever met, but with past experiences, you can’t rule that possibility out completely.

“Stupid fucking DM!” You shout, just wanting to get it out of your system.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Rae calls out.

“I’m fine!” You let her know before you literally jump in bed. You get a message from Austin, and as much as you don’t want to answer it, you do.

You make a mental note to change his name in your phone. You know it’s petty, but you just don’t feel like you have the same friendship with Austin as you did the day he came to visit you.

“Hey,” He greets after you answer the phone. His voice is hesitant and he’s being cautious, afraid he may say the wrong thing even after just answering the phone.

“Hi,” You greet back.

“Look, Y/N, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. I didn’t... I just don’t want to lose you. You and Corpse-”

“Please,” You sigh. “Don’t bring Corpse into this. He doesn’t need to be bought up in this. Whatever is going on between the two of us has nothing to do with him.” You realize how harsh your voice is and how protective you got over Corpse.

“It does because he made me get angry.” Austin defends himself.

“He didn’t do anything, A. You’re mad because you think we’re together or that we have feelings for each other. You made up some shit in your head, assuming whatever the fuck you assumed, and that’s what got you mad, not Corpse.” You can’t help being protective over Corpse.

Austin sighs, “Y/N, it’s pretty fucking obvious you have feelings for him and not for me.”

“Austin,” Right now, at this moment, you just want to rip your hair out. “You can’t tell me who I have feelings for and who I don’t have feelings for.”

“When will you get it through your thick skull that’s he’s using you, Y/N?” This hurts. Bad. Your mind goes straight back to the DM from Twitter and you immediately hang up on him.

You’ve lost your best friend, you can’t stop making up bad scenarios in your head about Corpse and how your guys’ friendship could end whenever you two start losing the attention, and you can’t help the tears that are spilling out of your eyes.

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Taglist:: message me or comment if you wanna be added!

*i update almost everyday*

@letsloveimagines @liljennyx3 @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @blackheartemojivibes @lo-manburg @walkingonchairs @strawberrydonkey @tayloryorkscurls @bluepancakemix @prettylittlealiengirl @yeetmymood @victoria-a567 @loraleiix @moonlightsimp @jades-bullshit @teenloves @greenie-of-shield @fanworrior @thefvckvp @bigdaddysatan @mirahg @rosy-feels @arossebyanyothername @kitsamii @lollipop0605 @happyyyandcrazyyy @maraudingmarauder @stickystrawberrysyrup @majasophieanna

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