#this is kinda related to my previous post about tws

[screen-universe-official-thingie]

Plague Doctor Cindy!

Hi, I drew this concept art sheet thing shortly after drawing the Butcher!Aurora art and I took a break after that. Sorry I didn't post this one immediately.

Edit: Some close ups and extra commentary have been added

Rambling below (TW: medical subject matter like diseases and surgery, death, delusions, and cannibalism)

Meta wise, she started out as a mad scientist for the sake of being a mad scientist by listening to Novocaine by Cree-P and GHOST, and Black Box Warrior-OKULTRA by Will Wood. I just imagined Cinderella going too hard or harsh on Lady Tremaine, her patient/ser-worker/co-star, with her research, experiments, and surgeries out of frustration, stress, and madness. Hell, I would not be surprised if she tried lobotomy at some point during her side jig/job as a doctor.

But ever since I listened to Butcher Vanity by Vane and Flavour Foley, Cinderella later grew to be more than just a plain old mad doctor as I revisited her Screen Universe para concept and explore what her deal is. From why exactly did she fall into this path, to her relationships with the characters related or relevant to her story. She became another tragic character. This time, someone who developed an obsession with finding a cure for the prions after it "ate up" her once villain co-worker friend with in-character or canon compliant delusions.

Some close ups

The other state was meant to say production as well, but I'm too lazy to fix the typo now

Cindy with the Bok-su pose is slightly cursed ngl, but it keeps living in my head rent free. The fact that they're both doctors doesn't make it any better ToT

Eldritch Cinderelly (the note says healthy because their true forms's color and brightness changes if they get certain health conditions. In this one, she should have been a bit dimmer and grayer due to the Discontinuation Rot)

Herbs and spices stuffed in the beak like a true plague doctor. Though, Cindy does this for different reasons. Instead of the original reasoning where the herbs will ward off the plague, she does this to replace the smell of burning and rotting flesh with as much fragrance as possible. It also puts her at ease

Stolen Ideas Inspo :>

How it'd look like under her apron/dress thing

Goggles stuff for eye protection

Eyes. Eye eyeballed (eh? eh?) her eye color because I can not find a good proper close up of her face and eyes in the official material and the coloring in the og movie looks a bit inconsistent at times.

Screen shots from the ID server itself again of course

OKULTRA cranking up the mad doctor inspiration (ft. Novocaine starting the whole thing prior to listing to OKULTRA)

I think this one is still pre-butcher vanity arc

meme

Typical Disney para behaviour

more Cinderella angst lore because yes

A shit ton of other paras have not so healthy relationships with their characters at this point. They include, but not limited to some Pokemon characters, and SpongeBob.

Health anxiety go brrrr

This is from when Butcher Vanity arc or obsession hit around. It expanded her lore and everything. It was a game changer for this specific para tbh. I think this is about four months after posting the past Cindy rambles shown in the previous screenshots

Ok, this one is from an ID adjacent server, but I feel like this is still a bit relevant to the whole thing

(Also from the ID adjacent server) Ok, this one is kinda complicated since I mentioned another para who had something to do with a different Disney centered subplot that somehow affected the plot and lore of the entire paracosm. Basically, Snow White helped one of her ser-workers to found a cult and... everything went downhill and batshit insane from there. Ruined or fucked over the entire government and all... you may either dig through my casual account for the answer or ask through the Screen Universe blog about it.

Bonus: A joke relevant to the whole Cinderella x Sleeping Beauty ft. prion plague debacle arc/subplot (I found this god damn image from Pinterest and I captioned it as "Cinderella and Aurora")

TLDR: 1950 Disney princess becomes a mad plague doctor, grows into another tragic para, becomes vegan as a trauma response, loses her villain patient to the plague's delusions, goes off into a deep end after burning said patient, despises cannibals, and turns into their world's equivalent to a veteran in a "has seen the origins of modern day problems and the horrors of war" way but the war is the plague from the distant past.

[dandydanthelion]

Hii i love your apprentices :00 can you tell me more about them if you don't mind? Or link me to somewhere where you've talked about them ? :]

oh god i am not good at writing but i'll try my best

i have 3 apprentices and not all of them are equally fleshed out and the ref sheets are old, sorry about that

First up is Zaire! i use him mainly for julian's route (and muriel too sometimes). he grew up as the eldest brother to his 3 siblings. he was the golden child and he never really grew out of his need to be "perfect" and great at everything. so he sometimes overwork himself. his father is a magician, mainly uses his magic in culinary (like mazelinka), and thats where zaire learned his magic from. his mother was a merchant and both of his parents weren't home for much so zaire had to take care of his siblings. and that made him a great cook and an even better caretaker.

he has a journal and has a beautiful way with words so he occasionally write poems here and there. his sense of fashion is anything that is black gold and red, refuses to wear other than those colors. hes quite high maintenance and spends way too much money hoarding jewelleries.

for his overall personality, he could be quite the intimidating one at first glance because he has a resting bitch face but he's actually pretty good at socializing and he's pretty charming once you actually get to talk to him. once you know him well enough, you'll find out that he can be snarky and smug. hes pretty confident in what he does and how he carries himself.

like asra, he mainly uses water magic. his fursona is a wolf (the Alexander archipelago wolf to be exact) and his familiar is a flying fox. this is not in his reference sheet but hes an ENFJ.

heres a lil bonus design i made for julian's reversed ending

next up is Aries!

TW: mentions of SA and abuse!!! (in the indented paragraph)

they were actually my first apprentice back in 2020 and i originally used them for julian's route. tho i basically changed their whole personality from their 2020 version. i love to switch up my apprentices for different routes but aries is mainly for lucio's route for now.

in my previous post of their dynamic with lucio, as much as a shitpost that was, its still pretty much accurate for their personality. they can be quite dense but yk thats okay. they're optimistic and easy-going. everyone assumes theyre a cinnamon roll and could never do anything wrong but theyre that knife cat meme. kinda like asra but more chaotic and just a lil morally grey (be gay do crime). also theyre unhinged when theyre seriously pissed off.

now im gonna talk about heavier topics (that i mentioned in the tw) in this next paragraph.

growing up, they didnt really have the best childhood. when they were a child, they had to witness their adoptive parents fight and it was because of their mother. in their previous life, they had a (supposedly) romantic relationship but their (ex) boyfriend was abusive and aries had a hard time learning that those abusive behaviors werent normal (they did grew up with a mother who was an abusive wife). unfortunately, those abuse led up to SA and much worse.

even in those first 3 years after being resurrected and them not having their memories from their previous life, traces of their insecurities that were caused by their past can still be seen.

they were originally a gardener that also sold their plants, and one magic plant after another is what got them interested in magic. though their magic is actually fire related. their hobby is tailoring and they actually embroidered the flower pattern on their white shirt.

i didn't write it on the ref sheet, but i do intend on making them arospec! lucio (or any other m6, depending on the route u choose) is actually their first love.

their fursona is a rabbit (the lop rabbit to be exact) and their familiar is a draco aka the flying lizard.

i havent drawn their Lucio's upright ending design and their devil design yet but i'll do it... eventually.

and lastly, is dahlia!

now im so sorry for this but i dont use her that often (you can probably tell) because lucio refuses to leave my head and julian doesnt know how to get out so they're both stuck there. i use her for asra, nadia, and portia's route.

i havent really thought much about its bg story but anw here's what i got

out of the three apprentices, dahlia had the best childhood. it used to travel a lot in its early 20s, occasionally performing in taverns. she plays the lute and has a low and beautiful, warm voice which she only uses sometimes because shes shy. she doesnt perform in her first 3 years after being resurrected because of her social anxiety which the whole resurrection and amnesia thing dont help.

it is very smart and quick-witted but oblivious social cues. she keeps accidentally getting herself into trouble which she has no struggle getting out of. in her previous life, she got interested with magic from all of the magicians she met during her travels then she ended up dating one but thats another story. her magic is mainly water related.

her middle name means "full moon" and her moon earrings actually match up with the current phase of the moon. she doesn't really know how to... fashion so she just tends to wear a lot of black. its quite messy and unorganized so basically that combined with asra's messiness is just not good. overall shes very sweet, quite reserved, so easy to fluster gal. shes gremlin coded but has the opposite personality of a gremlin.

i didnt put its mbti there, but its an INFP. both her fursona and her familiar is a rat.

okay i think im done, i hope this isnt too much but

@sasha-is-annoying, tysm for the ask!!

[can-ya-guess-my-curent-obsession]

Heyhey, do you do polyamorous relationships? If you do could you do hcs/scenarios with 2D x male reader x Murdoc? If not then maybe both of them separate w male reader. Please and thank you🤓

-🍜

2D x Male S/O x Murdoc and 2D x Male S/O, Murdoc x Male S/O

WRITERS NOTE: Heyhey 🍜Anon hope your having a good day, I'm not the most knowledgeable on polyamory but I will try my best, so to make up for it I also addes a few separate hc as well. Also I'm not good a gender specific hc, but again I did my best

Also disclaimer this is mot a 2doc ship, I do not ship them whatsoever, and they should not be shiped- its too toxic, these hc's are more like Mudz and 2D both have the hots for the reader, sorry if this is not what you wanted

Edited: uh... no

All art in this post is mine, including the GIF

TW: Curssing, internalized homophobia, homophobia, Murdoc's dad, paula cracker, uhhhh idk if thats it but if not tell me plz

(Update: Murdocs shity behavior is not ok, its's abuse, I am nto tryingto indorse it!)

Characters:

/Gorillaz/

2D x Male S/O x Murdoc

Ok first of all this relationship should be only pursued in later phases like phase 6 or later because Murdoc and 2D became on some what of better term after Murdoc got out of jail even if 2D was kinda salty because if it was before that it would be purely toxic because Murdoc treats 2D like shit in earlier phases and we all know it

It probably started out with 2D getting a boyfriend during phase 5 and getting really close with his S/O

Fun little headcanon Ace introduced 2D and 2D new S/O to each other

When murdoc got released, 2D would be a bit iffy about letting Murdoc be around his boyfriend but he thought Murdoc wouldn't make a move on his boyfriend, he trusted Murdoc not to have have another Paula Cracker bitch of the year incident

Low and behold Murdoc flirted with 2D's S/O, but in his 'defense' 2D only brought up that he had a significant other once and thats it he never brought it up agian

But to Murdoc's surprise he gets a a firm rejection

But due to him being hard headed, he keeps flirting with S/O and ends up actually spending time with S/O because S/O often had sleep overs with 2D 2D loves sleep overs

And well- Murdoc actually develops actual romantic feelings for 2D BOYFRIEND, shit was about to go down

So Murdoc became extra competitive for S/O's who is 2D'S FUCKING BOYFRIEND may I remind you attention

How were they gonna fix this problem?

Oh wait S/O also developed feelings for Murdoc- but also still has feeling for 2D and doesn't want to break up with him

And one day the three of them sit down and try and work this out. An hour passes and they have figured jack shit out yet- till Noodle pops in and suggests a polyamorous relationship between the three of you

And at first the two of them aren't exactly thrilled with the idea, 2D doesn't like the idea of sharing with Murdoc- while Murdoc doesn't want to share in general

Though the three of you do start a poly relationship despite previous qualms with the idea, but in the end it works out pretty well

You guys are 100% gonna be asked about your relationship, and depending on the questions asked- 2D can either be bashful or frustrated and Murdoc can be either cocky or pissy/obnoxious

S/O usually has to pick the date, because these two can hardly ever agree on a date idea

Due to the fact S/O os also a man, makes relating to each other much easier

2D tends to barrow steel clothes- I mean your clothes could looks like a damn crop top or a dress(it depends on hight and size) and he will still wear it

Murdoc got pretty upset at first when 2D started steeling clothes including his, but when Murdoc see's his S/O in his clothes he suddenly more ok with the idea of sharing his clothes, as long as they are washed when returned if not...

Frankly it is not very often that you three share a bed- as i talked anout in my nap/sleep hc, 2D can and will move in his sleep- which irritates the FUCK outa Murdoc and he will push 2D outa bed- leading to some problems as it wakes up S/O(but not 2D despite him being the one being pushed off the bed) and S/O sees that Murdoc pushed 2D off the bed- leading to a slite fight

And now S/o take turns sleeping in the beds of Mrudoc and 2D

Also Murdoc has a thing with you liking he better- like he asks S/O every other day

"Ya know, dis wasn't half bad of'a idea"

"Hey luv... you like me better right?"

2D x Male S/O

2D's parents knew he was fruity before 2D knew himself

When he was in middle school he talked about a guy in his class like he had attraction to the guy- but if you asked him if he liked men he would be 'no I don't like men, I just think their hot just like girls are hot'

So he's an absolute dumb ass when it come the fact he likes men

I see him being a bit more bashful or shy when it comes to dating guys as he has less experience in that area it's adorable plz give this boi hugs

Did I mention he'll steal all your clothes

At first in the relationship he called you bro because he didn't wanna look weak, but once he realized his S/O isn't gonna think he's weak, he uses all the pet names- like if it weren't for the fact you two are dating people would think he didn't remember your name with the amount of pet names he uses

He does not stand homophobia, if someone says some homophobic shit he will stare at them like they're the most crazy person in the world, like they just admitted they like to eat cat shit

I mean its amazing how much judgment he can have in his eyes- when he doesn't have eyes

Then he striaght up calls the person stupid... like "why ain't you a stupid sod, com'on babe we have tea to get"

"I'm not' to sure that I'm that gay?"

"STOART FUCKING POT WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS!"

Murdoc x Male S/O

Murdoc didn't realize he was bi till he was an adult/teen cuz I totally see his dad being a homophobic prick

So he's a bit flustered awkward at first as this man is trying to fight his internalized homophobia- turns out talking about yanking it with a dude or just yanking with a dude in general is harder then dating one- because FEELINGS LOVE??!?!? GASP! this applies to almost all serious relationships because he ain't good with his feelings

Side rant over sorry

My god satan sorry, I feel bad for the poor person who decides to make a homophobic remark cuz he will light the up like he did Kong Studios-

Like he says some reaaaall shit to that person, many many threats are said and most of them Murdoc would not be able to keep but thats not what he's thinking of- he's thinking of what this shit head just said

Guys are able to fluster him way easier then girls- this only applies if he is some what sober

Let him pick the date location it makes him feel better about himself

He likes being little spoon but you didn't hear that from me someone just hold this poor sad man

"Hey babe... can we.. cuddle?"

[yanderecandystore]

Imagine if reader is the imposter and goes yandere over a crewmate, how would they court their future mate?(this is a request)

An Among Us request on the year of our Lord, 2022?

I'm actually pretty happy you did request this cause I was worried I would never use this scenario again 😭

Like I'm not exactly the most proud of it but at the same time like- I like it 👉👈

It's kinda short, summarized af and based mostly on my other posts about Among Us (like, completely non game cannon I presume 💀)

TW/Tags: Yandere! Reader // Alien!Imposter! Reader // vague mentions of cannibalism// mentions of gore // traumatized oc // Reader has a questionable (by human standards) upbringing and culture // mentions of children/mating and also probably mentions of nsfw (not much tho, just mentions of it) // chopped off/ severed head // I had so many other things to write about but this sparked something in me that I can't even begin to describe 🗿

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

This game isn't so bad after you look at it outside of the meme filter, at least that's my opinion [Crewmate! Oc x Yandere!Imposter! Reader - Headcanon]:

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

In the previous posts we've discussed how Imposters can either be human or alien, and can be of varying alien species so I'll leave it up to you what's your flavor of little space freak~

 Though your request says "mate" so I'm assuming we're talking about an alien Reader, so let's talk about that for a second-

 Are you an alien form that lives on consuming life forms that drift aimlessly in space, lost travelers being your favorite meal? Or maybe you were a lonely bandit operating on their own (for personal reasons) and decided that the one-by-one elimination method would be the best one for being able to take this alien ship for yourself! Or maybe you were sent here as an assassin, as the small ship of "humans" was wandering too close to your contractor's ship, despite the unidentified ship posing no actual threat your contractor still gave clear instructions to wipe out any possible danger that may come their way.

 Whatever your role is I think you would be quite surprised to find something more to these people than annoying relationships forced by the circumstances or sentient food you have to "butter up" before getting to the good part.

 Oh no dearest, you would find yourself being captivated by one of your captives! It is pretty unfortunate to be a "predator" longing for a "prey", to be enamored with one of the people you swore to kill!

 But life is cruel, isn't it? What will you do, what would you do!

 Whatever your reasons and goals for being here may be, your species have a sort of a- ""Ritualistic expression of desire and an instinct-based comprehension of mating urges that are currently over taking your priorities in relation to your situation inside this alien ship"'.

 In other words you're horny and your instincts are clouding your better judgment, especially since your mating rituals may not be compatible with human mating rituals- And we didn't even mention the amount of suspicion that this ordeal has brought upon you!

 You have tried flirting before, you understand the concept, sure- But ""human flirting"" is a lot tougher than your specie's idea of flirting! Who would have thought that humans didn't like the severed heads of those who failed to court them outside their door!

 Thank the stars none of the humans found out it was you who did it, and thank FUCK that in the heat of the moment you didn't say it was YOU! When the head was found the first thing they did was call an emergency meeting to discuss it and you felt terrified because not only could your disguise be completely ripped apart you were a bit embarrassed at the love confession being now brought into everyone's attention-

 On your planet, this sort of thing is considered normal although really juvenile, it would be the equivalent of high school students writing and exchanging letters to one another- And then having one of these letters be read to everyone else out loud!

 Yeah it's a bit "cheesy", but come on, that head was a private message! Ugh, DAMNIT-

 Damn these people are starting to piss you off, at least they eliminated one of their own people instead of you, and thankfully it wasn't your-

 Y-Your crewmate! Your totally platonic crewmate!! Which you're totally NOT obsessing over despite trying very desperately to court them in any way, even going as far as trying to learn human tactics when it comes to courting and mating.

 And failing, miserably, of course. So horribly in fact that even your other "fellow humans' ' have started to comment on it, calling you out in every attempt you give to be close to your darling.

 "- I don't really get what you're talking about, [Y/n], but like if you like them just go for it like, gawd, it's so obvious and honestly who cares- We're all stuck here anyway so let's enjoy our time, right?~"

 "- Yeah no, I won't be giving you their "phone number" because you should ask THEM for it, not me. Also we're in the same spaceship…? You see them everyday, what the hell [Y/n]-"

 "- I shouldn't have to talk about it considering it's not exactly the company's policy and more of a common sense rule amongst co-workers. Though it's understandable that our current situation may lead some to… Act out on "instinct", please keep in mind that seeking romantic relationships with coworkers during work hours is very frowned upon and heavily discouraged and although technically it's not officially an police (yet), me (and others, probably) would be more comfortable if you didn't-" [Really long one-sided rant-conversation about your recent behavior towards one of your coworkers]

 It can be pretty discouraging to hear that even another species can see your blatant fascination towards that one specific individual, it almost seems foolish to keep going after them like this! If only you two were from the same planet, at least you two would have an easier time communicating.

 Oh stars, what's with you lately?! Taking people's heads and giving you someone you barely know? Who is also from a COMPLETELY different species than you?? Damn, you're kinda embarrassed at yourself for that one, but you just couldn't help it~

 You tried focusing on the task at hand SO many times yet every single time you tried to be a cruel, cold hunter there they were again! Being all- 𐌂𐌵𐌕𐌄 like that!

 You wish they could just stop being so distracting but you're not a fool, you know that technically they didn't do anything, you're probably suffering from one of those human crushes you have heard about. It's just psychological torture, you'll get over it.

 You just have to keep ignoring them and keep making the numbers of this ship go down, more and more- I mean, you WILL have to kill them, right?!

 It- It's not like this would ever work out anyway, you're too different and besides you're on a mission of your own, they're nothing but fresh flesh to you.

 Maybe if you keep your distance, act more bitter and cold, they'll just- Just-

 Just leave you alone, f-forever. I mean you can't kill them now! You're too attached to them, you just have to get tired of them and soon enough everything will be okay! You just have to kill everyone else to really revive that hunter mindset you have pushed down so aggressively.

 But then again… Sounds so convenient, to leave them as the last survivor…

 "- [Y/n], come on let's go-"

 "- Hey can you help me out, [Y/n]?"

 "- I'm feeling like we're not safe here…"

 "- Can you hold that flashlight for me? I can see a thing in this darkness!"

 "- Pfft- You're just so weird!- Hey don't be sad, I didn't mean it like that, I genuinely think you're funny!"

 "- … Can I be honest with you? I need to get something out of my chest…"

 "- I've been having nightmares about- That THING I saw that day… It was awful and I can't get the image out of my head!"

 "- Y-Yellow didn't deserve that- No one would ever deserve that! None of the others deserved that!"

 "- Just the head… Just the head…"

 Yeah … You thought you could easily ignore them and push the thoughts of them further into your mind but deep down you just couldn't resist it, it's too tempting. The sweet memories and good times you've spent together, even if they were really short, were still the best thing you could ever wish for.

 Ya know it's a little fucked that you haven't been able to treat them like any other victim, specially when you're part of the reason they're so terrified of being lost in space in the first place- But you don't feel bad about it at all, nothing will stop you from your goals, even if that means terrifying your darling with each friend and colleague deaths that they have to witness.

 But isn't it more messed up that you're enjoying this a little too much? I mean, clearly you can't look at them with platonic eyes anymore, heck you can't even imagine seeing them as just prey at this point! So really, maybe these killings haven't lost their meaning, but have completely changed directions to when you started at.

 You can't deny dear, you lost control of those feelings and have taken advantage of your previous goals to make this all about them! All these deaths, are for them, in their name and in the name of their 𐌋Ꝋᕓ𐌄!

 All because you wish to mate with them, to mate with the human who is desperately clinging at any survivors left just to feel a tiny bit safer, and you seem to be willing to provide that-

 Or are you? Are you the sadistic type? Do you enjoy the fact that their human naivety blinds them to the gruesome feelings you feel for them? That although they cling to you for comfort you're still very much aware you're the monster they wish to hide from? Are you impatiently expecting the right time to tell them the truth just to see the horror in their eyes??

 Or perhaps I'm assuming that the grotesque way your species is raised has influenced your morals to the point you wouldn't recognize the clear implications of YOU killing THEIR friends, making them a possible next target- Which would leave any creature understandably not trusting you, perhaps even your own kind!

 So what dear, would you choose to make things right by their human standards? Try to soothe their worries and hold them close as you unceremoniously claim them as your mate? As you try to comfort the person you have severely traumatized? Maybe you don't really enjoy your own predatory nature, especially when being put together with your darling's fearful and avoidant state, maybe instead of trying to bring them to your culture you could try being closer to theirs.

 Then again, the choice is up to you, the silence echoes through the whole ship, there's nothing but ghostly remains of what was once a group of space travelers who got stranded deep into space with limited communication to their home planet. You won, you got the prize.

 As the second last innocent person has been voted off and thrown into space, desperately trying to prove their innocence while also cursing out both you and your darling for being either partners in crime, or for being puppeteered by one sick individual, you can see a lot of guilt in your darling's eyes.

 That guilt being slowly transformed into a slight realization of something terrific- What if they really WERE voting the wrong person? But at this time, the only other option would be- You! But that couldn't be possible, right?!

 Oh dear, it's not like the truth would have never come out! To think this wouldn't have happened would be foolish.

 As they're shaking, crying their eyeballs out as they keep running away from you in the empty labyrinth that you created. You can choose whatever pleases you more now, however your pleasure will soon be cut short if you don't make a decision as to what your next step will be moving forward.

 If you had anyone waiting for you to come back, like an assassin's contractor, a planet with friends happily awaiting your arrival (hopefully with some leftovers), or maybe some sort of space police searching for their lonely bandit- How would you bring back this human with you? Would you just ditch all of your responsibilities and ignore all dangers for them? What if you felt hungry again? The food is now scarce…

 And what about mating!? Oh dear, you'll need to search for food for you, your new partner and the future children you'll have, correct?? Oh my- Just thinking about it makes you a bit nervous, it's good to think ahead but perhaps you're overcomplicating things, try focusing on the now, and the now requires you to make amends with your new partner.

[nightchild000]

— 🖤 quick respawn update:

Hello! i wanted to give a quick update on my journey (tw: mentions of metaphorical, not physical death).

Hello! so, as my previous posts say i have an ‘ideal’ deadline for respawning after certain event; despite that i’m okay with shifting/respawning before, and sometimes i feel like i’m closer, but whatever the date of my respawn is; i’m fine with it.

In general, i’m more disoriented, dizzy, careless about here (in a good way! actually my mental health/mood has been getting better overall; since i was really stressed about some events going on in cr/vr) and been feeling random things, like a strange wave/buzzing in both of my ears where i usually feel really sleepy after… basically i scripted that the closer i was to respawning the more sleepy i would be, and i didn’t sleep that much before, i’ve been sleeping noticeably more and better and taking naps quite often. My appetite has also decreased a bit … to be clear, i’m aiming for totally deathless and safe respawn; but i associate these things to the metaphorical death of my void self!

Probably a little unrelated but after years of a poor dream recall, i can finally recall them (not all, but most of the time when i take a nap) and all of my dreams have been more vivid, longer and kinda situations that make sense?

As for meditations/methods i haven’t done anything since the start of the week, been a little busy and kinda just not been in the mood; though i get in meditative-like state kinda often? i may go back to try meditating this week/weekend/as soon as i have time and i’m in the mood.

I havw only used subliminals, practice law of assumption and visualization in different ways at the moment :] and in general, been chill with being in the void/having fun here while knowing my respawn is meant to happen and will happen!

I’d probably respawn around my deadline; that as i mentioned is not really a date but an event that excites me and i’m looking forward, it’s something related to my DR. There’s a hard chance it happens before; but whatever! if i’m not active here for a month; that probably means i respawned. Since i’m also going for deathless there’s a chance my replacement posts something here, i don’t know what is happening to my replacement to be honest.

But whatever, good luck to everyone whatever you’re looking forward to! take care of yourself no matter what.

[nagichi-boop]

A Star That’s Out of Reach (Chapter 3)

[Previous] - [Next]

[Masterlist]

Apologies for not posting this sooner! I’ve been kinda stressed and so I forgot.

CW/TW - blood, nightmares, panic attack (sorta)

— x —

Shadow slowly opened his eyes. For the first time in days, he seemed to have been able to sleep decently. He stretched his arms out, and upon realising that the house was quiet, he laid back down again and stared at the ceiling, thinking to himself about his conversation with Amy. Just as he was about to get lost in thought, he heard Rouge scream in the other room. He quickly got up again, hopping out of bed and making his way to Rouge.

“What’s wrong?” Shadow asked as he saw Rouge staring in her treasure room panicking.

“The Chaos Emeralds,” Rouge cried out. “There’s only two here!” Shadow immediately tensed up, remembering what he did last night.

“Yeah, so about that,” Shadow mumbled, nervously looking away. Rouge quickly pivoted round to face Shadow.

“What. Did. You. Do?” Rouge enquired stiffly.

“I may have given a couple to Sonic and his friends,” he replied, further facing away from Rouge.

“You WHAT?” She yelled, bracing herself to attack him.

“You know they’d come for them anyway,” Shadow excused in an attempt to calm Rouge down. “At least this way they’ll leave us alone for a while.” She backed off, folding her arms, then sighed.

“Fine,” she complied. “I suppose what we have is better than nothing.” She then sternly pointed at Shadow. “But next time you do something like this, clear it with me first to spare me of the heart attack, okay?” Shadow nodded in agreement. “As punishment, you’re gonna help me make breakfast.”

Shadow chuffed obediently. The two of them wandered into the kitchen and began preparing breakfast. A comfortable silence lingered in the room until eventually Rouge’s curiosity got the better of her.

“You know, it’s been a while since you stayed the night here,” she acknowledged.

“For some reason, I was able to get a decent night’s sleep for once.”

Rouge hummed thoughtfully. “I’m surprised, I would’ve thought that given how frustrated you were yesterday that the opposite would be true. I suppose last night’s stroll calmed you down?”

“I guess so,” Shadow responded bluntly.

“What was so special about last night compared to the other nights?” Rouge pushed inquisitively.

“Nothing in particular,” Shadow answered as he used a spatula to turn the eggs in the frying pan. “The weather must have just been particularly peaceful.” Rouge hummed curiously, but decided not to push it. It was rare enough to be in the same room with him for so long, so she let it slide. They plated the food and then made their way to the dining table. Omega soon joined them and they talked about their experiences the previous day to Shadow, who attentively listened while eating.

“So how did your mission go, Shadow?” Rouge asked before shovelling more food into her mouth.

“Not as exciting as what you two face,” Shadow replied dismissively. “I ran into some of Sonic’s crew, faced Eggman briefly and then met up with you two.” He then nonchalantly continued to eat his food which Rouge and Omega gave each other meaningful looks.

“That was a very trimmed way of explaining it,” Rouge noted, then smiled and rested her chin on her hand. “But I won’t push it. I’m just glad you’re here talking with us. We haven’t eaten together in a long time.”

Shadow lifted his head, returning her gaze. “Is that significant?”

“Well,” Rouge spoke, then took a moment to collect her thoughts. “It’s less about the activity and more about the fact that we are friends. Dare I say I even consider you guys my family?” Shadow’s eyes widened in surprise. “We have done so much together and I trust you both a lot. Sure, we aren’t related by blood, but blood relations are overrated anyway.”

“I DO NOT HAVE BLOOD,” Omega added. Shadow and Rouge looked at each other then chuckled amongst themselves. Shadow then stared down at his plate with a bittersweet smile.

“I care about you guys, too,” he commented. “I guess it’s just been hard for me to see people in that light ever since…” He went silent. Rouge gently placed her hand atop Shadow’s.

“It’s fine if you don’t see us that way,” she comforted softly. “I just want you to know that you’re important to me. I care about you both a lot and am very grateful to have you in my life.” The room fell into a somber silence as the three of them thought to themselves. Rouge then abruptly stood up. “All this mushy stuff is making me uncomfortable,” she jested. She looked at Shadow and then stuck her tongue out at him playfully. “Just take your time, sweetie,” she said, then began collected her’s and Shadow’s plates and took them into the kitchen. “You’re free to wander now, children,” she added, waving her hand in the air sassily.

Shadow stood up from the table and made his way out and towards the door. He hesitated before he turned the handle.

“I’m going for a walk,” he called out, then left. He wandered around aimlessly, taking the time to take in the scenery. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he felt a strange warmth in his chest. Without realising it, he eventually wound up in the area Sonic and his friend’s lived. He stopped and looked out over them, observing them interacting with one another. His attention was caught by Amy and Sonic talking with one another, then noticed a shimmering object in Amy’s hand.

“The Chaos Emerald,” he mumbled to himself before continuing to watch their interaction. Sonic took the emerald, then gave Amy a thumbs off before leaving her in the dust. Shadow scrunched his face up. “That stupid hedgehog,” he muttered again. He then became conflicted. ‘Wait, why do I even care about this?’ he thought to himself. He shook his head, then turned and walked away.

He continued to wander around, making sure to grab some food in the city before he went to his usual spot and sat under the tree, overlooking the city. He ate his food as he rested against the tree, enjoying the breeze. After finishing, he closed his arms, sat down against the tree and rested for a bit, hoping to take advantage of his good streak with sleeping recently. To his surprise, he managed to fall asleep again.

He opened his eyes, but was surprised to see himself back on the Ark. He looked around and then realised that he was in a tube. Then he noticed…

“Maria?” he spoke softly. Standing outside of the pod was Maria, stood over a control panel bleeding out.

“Shadow,” she mumbled just loud enough for Shadow to hear. “Why…”

“Maria!” Shadow began pounding on the glass. “Maria, don’t do this!” All of a sudden she distorted and appeared in front of Shadow, tears flowing from her eyes and her hair draped across her face as she stared at Shadow. She placed her hand on the glass, leaving a bloody handprint.

“Why did you do this to me, Shadow?” she whimpered. “I thought you loved me.”

“I do,” he cried out. “I didn’t mean-” He was interrupted by the sound of sirens, the room flashing bright red then falling dark in rapid succession. Each time the light flashed, Shadow was met with Maria’s horrifying stare which seemed to pierce right through him. He began breathing heavily, clutching his chest in pain. The sirens blared louder, causing Shadow to crouch down and cover his ears.

He then shot up panting. He looked around frantically to see the city he had seen before he fell unconscious, the sky now painted crimson. He continued to breath deeply, trying to compose himself. As he settled, he placed a hand on his forehead.

“Just a dream,” he whispered to himself, trying to calm himself down. After catching his breath, he leaned his head back and looked up to the sky. “How pathetic.”

The moon soon showed itself, gracing the earth with her light. Shadow stared at it reminiscently. The breeze became brisk, though he appreciated it as it helped keep him alert despite feeling exhausted.

“I thought I’d find you here,” a familiar voice chirped. Shadow glanced back and saw Amy peering her head from around the tree. “I see you’re sitting down today. Mind if I join you?” Shadow shook his head tiredly, then shuffled over a little to make room for Amy. She sat down happily, though closer to Shadow that he was expecting.

“So what brings you out here?” Shadow asked.

“It’s just been one of those days I guess,” she sighed. “Another day of Sonic being Sonic.” Shadow felt a tightness well up in his chest, but chose to ignore it. He didn’t quite know what to say to Amy. She looked at him, then noticed he refused to look at her, his face somewhat serious looking. “Is everything okay, Shadow? You seem a bit tense.”

Shadow briefly glanced over at Amy, then hastily looked away again. “It’s nothing,” he replied dismissively. “Just a silly dream.”

Amy then leaned over, getting even closer to Shadow. “That’s not nothing,” she sternly remarked. “Clearly it was upsetting to you. You can talk to me.” Shadow leaned away from Amy, seemingly unable to meet her eyes. The tightness in his chest grew. He sighed defeatedly.

“I had a dream about Maria,” he confided, to which Amy backed off a little. “I was back with her in the ARK. She was covered in blood, scruffy looking.” Shadow became uncomfortable, then leaned forward. “She questioned my love for her. She always does.”

Amy tilted her head. “Do you have dreams like that often?”

Shadow nodded. “I struggle to sleep a lot of the time because I get anxious. And when I do sleep, it usually results in me waking up in a cold sweat.”

Amy placed her hand gently atop Shadow’s. “I’m sorry, Shadow,” she spoke softly. “That must be really difficult.” Shadow looked at her in disbelief, then relaxed his expression. The tension in his chest eased a little.

“I just wish I had more memories of her from before the incident,” Shadow confided. “I know we used to be close and I have fond feelings for her. But when I try to think back to our memories in detail, it all becomes hazy.”

Amy returned her hand to her side. “Yeah, that does sound difficult. I guess with everything that’s happened, it makes sense.” She stared up at the moon. “I don’t really know what to say, sorry.”

Shadow shook his head slowly. “You don’t have to do anything.” He then smiled halfheartedly and placed his chin in his hand, looking at Amy fondly. “You being here is enough.”

Amy looked back at him then smiled affectionately. “I’m glad!”

Shadow then paused for a moment, then looked back at the moon. “In a way,” he continued. “You remind me of her.”

Amy leaned to the side and looked at him. “I do? How?”

“Well, you both have a deep compassion for other people. And I get the sense that like her, you would do anything to protect those you care about.”

“Aw,” Amy cooed, cupping her hands on her cheeks. “That’s really sweet of you.”

Shadow warmly grinned, closing his eyes and lowering his head. “Though unlike Maria, you have a steel-like determination. You’re strong in mind and body, even though some people might overlook that quality of yours.” He opened his eyes and glanced up again. “Maria always seemed unsure of herself, I guess because she felt limited in what she could do. But you aren’t.”

Amy quietly listened to Shadow. Something about the compassion in his eyes warmed her heart. She then chuckled a little, drawing Shadow’s attention to her. “You’re really kind, you know that?”

Shadow suddenly felt as though something was grasping his chest. He clutched it, leaning forward to try and lessen the feeling.

“Are you okay, Shadow?” Amy asked, leaning closer to Shadow in concern. He briefly glanced to her, then shot up to his feet frantically.

“I have to go,” he said shakily. “I’m sorry.” Without waiting for a reply, Shadow dashed away from Amy, who had just brung herself to her feet. She held both of her hands to her chest, worried about Shadow’s abrupt exit.

“Shadow…” she spoke to herself glumly. “I hope you’re okay.”

[alcarenka]

Oh the Leclerc comparison ! Perfect ! Not only for the fanbase side but I think it’s also a pretty good relationship comparison .

I mean if we take a look at Leclerc’s previous relationships Charlotte and Alexandra are very different, Charlotte was much more open and active on socials doing some PB jobs also , while Alexandra is more of a private person .

But I don’t think Charles on the other hand has changed his approach at all , he respects both choices of lifestyle at the same time he was always very public about both !Same with Giada(idk if his first gf had this name , i may have made up this one 😅)

Now if we take a look at Jannik’s situation like you said he changed HIS behavior in a month or so !

We all know that Anna is much more active on social media and also very public about her relationships (just take a look at her relationship with Kyrgios) than Maria who was a normal girl , and doesn’t really post much more than her good looks . And it’s ok , people are different!

But why to go from private gf-bf to influencer “power couple” gf-bf ?!

He could just have kept his low profile and be Anna’s boyfriend at the same time !

I think another great example is Trent Alexander Arnold (who never liked to talk about his life ) , he used to date a girl named Hannah and she was just like Maria , a normal girl with good looks , and he never talked about her and she was never at his box in LFC games , yet they dated for 2 years ! And now he is dating Iris Law for a few months (famous model and Jude Law’s daughter ) and he didn’t change at all . He treats her the same as Hannah , we do not see her at her box very often or have public statements . That’s how I think a fair man should behave ! He kept his word !

Well, in this case, I was talking about the fanbases. The lecfosis (leclerc radical fans) and sinneristas (jannik’s fans). I mean… I see that jannik’s fans on tw are becoming a dangerous cult like for example leclerc’s fans (lecfosis). In a way, they are similar or have the same patron:

- you can barely talk to them because all the things you say it is bad for them and start a fight

- their idol (Charles and jannik) are untouchable and their idol is never wrong or has mistakes (and their fans will never recognize the mistakes of their idols)

- their fanbase bases his personality on idolizing his girlfriends without knowing that they are not as good people as they make us believe. Even some fans are making fan accounts of his girlfriends, like a fan account based on updates of Anna for example

And in relation with leclerc’s personal life, I know all the things about leclerc’s gfs because I am a f1 fan and my best friends too. We also speak sometimes about this term and we are a little bit gossips people ngl. But yeah, this comparison between leclerc and jannik are well accurate. Even also with Trent example, I know too because one of my friends is kinda in love with him and she also commented this issue with his gfs and private life.

[vampirecatboy]

8, 14, 26, 40!!

eeee thank you!

Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

yes! the one i currently rp as i can't really talk about, but i have plenty of other ocs that i either have roleplayed as in the past, or will roleplay as in the future. one that i will roleplay as in the future is Aja, who actually started as a nameless ifrit npc in a campaign that we didn't get to finish, and i just yoinked him for my own, gave him a name and a backstory and played around with him by myself for a little bit, then forgot about him for years

then not too long ago i pulled him up again, revamped him, made him a foxboy, and now i await the day i can play as this beautiful, flirty, so-deep-in-the-closet-he-doesn't-know-he's-there, pure of ass dumb of heart sorcerer

Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

oh that's gotta be Amaranth

he's a tiefling, and i really went hard with the whole ostracizing of tieflings by other races. for one, his parents were murdered by religious fanatics when he was a toddler, though they spared him and left him to die (a very nice ranger found him and took him in though, a bright spot in his life) he was relentlessly bullied by other children as he was growing up, to the point that he began hating his infernal appearance and attempted to cut off his own horns (he half-succeeded unfortunately) his adoptive parents found him and learned of the bullying and packed up their whole shop and moved a couple towns over so Amaranth could live in peace

the damage was done however, as Amaranth was too afraid to let the people of this new town see him for fear that he'd be targeted again. so he became a shut in

i actually wrote up a whole post a couple years ago going into more detail if you'd like a long, kinda sad read (tw for fantasy racism, bullying, and the whole horn-cutting incident though i don't go into too much detail with that)

Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

so that happened with my boy Dmitri, way back in 2018 during a previous campaign.

our party had gotten captured by these mad scientists that worked for a circus, and they took one of his weapons, a star knife (which i think is just a made up weapon for pathfinder but i could be wrong, it's vaguely reminiscent of a large shuriken) broke it into four pieces, and inserted those pieces into the backs of his hands, so he sort of had these like Wolverine claws.

in the moment, i was not happy and wanted my star knife back so i had him rip out three of the pieces, which cost him a ton of hp so i had to leave the last one in. as with most of my impulsive decisions i would later regret what i did lol, because Wolverine claws were so much cooler than the star knife

Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

since most of my ocs are related to a ttrpg campaign, most of my fond memories come from things that happened during rp. like the time in my very first campaign where everyone in the party rolled a nat 1 trying to crawl through a crevice in a cave, and then finally my character was up, and she rolled a nat 1 too, and the whole group just lost it, because of the statistical probability of five critical failures in a row on the same action. it was amazing and is still one of my fondest ttrpg memories

[princesssarcastia]

Captain America 2: oh fuck not again

I really need to just stop re-watching this movie because then shIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS

so I was watching it, again, and I thought about how could they possibly have resolved that situation without completely destroying SHIELD, without releasing all of their files and compromising every one of their agents for the sake of flushing HYDRA out of the system-

and then this happened.

It took almost fifteen minutes for Natasha to walk on her own, and by then they were almost to the nearest town.  The woods around them were quiet, which only made Steve’s ears ring louder; he couldn’t imagine how Nat’s hearing was faring right now.

She took charge once they reached the downtown area, pulling on his arm silently until they were tucked away in an alley with no outlet; there was a chain-link fence in the middle of it that they could scale easily enough if they needed to.

Almost immediately, he could see her legs starting to shake.  She leaned against the brick and slowly slid down, letting the dumpster next to them hide them from view from the street.  He braced himself against said dumpster and then sat down next to her, facing the alley on the other side of the fence.

For a few minutes they simply sat there, chests heaving; Steve almost couldn’t wrap his mind around everything Zola had said.  

Natasha reached into her pocket and he almost flinched, but she didn’t acknowledge the movement, pulling out–

“Are you sure you should still have that?  I can’t believe SHIELD doesn’t put tracers in their agents’ phones.”

A faint smirk appeared on her face.  “Who says this is SHIELD issue?”

He stares at her for a long moment before it hits him.  “Stark,” he says, throwing his head back into the dumpster, “of course.”  

She laughs.  “Not many people could make a phone that detects incoming missile strikes, Rogers.  Though you're probably right about the tracker; Stark always builds a backdoor into his tech, after what happened in Afghanistan.”

“Then how can you trust it?  He helped build the Insight carriers, Nat.  If what you’re saying is true, there’s not way he isn’t neck deep in this.”

“Just because he has backdoors doesn't mean he’s using them.  If he was, I’m sure he would already be here.  A missile strike in the middle of Jersey isn’t exactly subtle.

And he didn’t actually help build them; he just gave our engineers blueprints for repulser tech.  He might still have an in to SHIELD systems anyway; Fury always thought they never quite got JARVIS out of them after he hacked the Hellicarrier”

Steve snorted and turned his head to the side.  Yeah, that sounded more like him.  He didn’t really want to believe one of his only friends in this century was capable of being part of HYRDA.  Then again, he didn’t want to believe HYDRA still existed either.

“We have to find a way to stop Project: Insight from launching.  If HYDRA gets those carriers in the air, there’s no telling what will happen.”

“I know,” she said, putting her phone up to her ear. 

“Wait, who are you calling?” he asked.

Nat raised her eyebrows at him, as if to say seriously? before clearing her throat.  “How am I not surprised you’re still up, Stark.”  Her voice was slightly deeper than it was a second ago; smoother, too.

Steve could barely catch the voice on the other end, something like well, there was that time you stalked me for almost a month.

“That wasn’t stalking, that was monitoring.  You were dying, you know.”

Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows; he hadn’t known that.

“Look, I’m calling because Steve and I need a favor.”

She turned to look at him, eyes searching, and he nodded.  “Tony, how fast can you get to DC?”

Here’s where it gets more nebulous, folks.  I may come back and actually write all of this out, but for now its late and I need to get this plot bunny out and sleep:

Of course, they still have no place to meet but Sam’s place; he’s the only man in DC Steve still trusts, and that no one would suspect of being involved.

Tony somehow gets there stealthily; maybe he’s pissed that Nat wouldn’t even trust his tech to be secure enough for this conversation.

They still come up with a similar plan of action: kidnap Sitwell, make him squeal.  Tony is waiting in the car for him, working with JARVIS to infiltrate every aspect of SHIELD’s system, including Insight and HYDRA’s files, only without alerting them to their presence.  Insight is easier; despite only offering blueprints and suggestions, he still managed to get a foothold in the insight carriers.  HYDRA files, though, personnel they’ll need to get rid of, like STRIKE, those are locked down hard; he’ll need an on-site access point to get at them.

Bridge fight goes the same; stark heads out to pick up the armor from wherever he left it.  the mark (IV? V? whatever the suitcase armor) doesn’t have enough oomph, and besides, he didn’t fly here in it.  he does, however, track them back to Nick Fury’s Secret Bunker™.

Steve is still horrified at seeing his best friend like that; Natasha is still hurt by Fury’s lack of trust in her; Sam still has very little idea what is going on.

Here’s the big change: SHIELD stays.  Fury and Hill refuse to see their life’s work thrown away.  Steve remembers what it started as, what Peggy and Howard meant for it to be, and maybe this wouldn’t be enough, except Tony is there, this time, and his presence makes the idea of saving it plausible, in the moment.

He gets to work completely infiltrating the insight carriers, along with a little help from Nick and Maria and Natasha’s help, because the former two have the clearance and the latter is a hacker in her own right.  

And now, this time, here’s the plan: 

With Tony in the Insight systems, they can put all three carriers on lockdown the second those targeting chips are replaced; give SHIELD, the real SHIELD, back their ships.  (though tony might find a way to sabotage them anyway, and Steve would help, I think.  as we all know, Tony has a thing about people he doesn’t know about using his tech.  mainly that he blows up that tech, and those people).  JARVIS can upload into them and land them safely, because every person on those carriers is going to be dead by then.

Steve doesn’t have time to make a rousing speech because he’s too busy infiltrating one of the hellicarriers, Sam by his side.  Tony takes another one on in the suit, Maria and a team of people from the Secret Bunker™ get the third.  Their missions are to go through their respective carriers, replace the targeting chips, and take out every person on them one by one

(I'm fudging it up a bit here and hcing that these carrierS are like admiral Marcus’s ship in stark trek: into darkness: designed to be manned by a minimum amount of crew members)

Natasha’s mission is much the same, except this time, she’s not their to dump all of SHIELD’s files: she's there to give tony and JARVIS the on-site access point they need to grab all of HYDRA’s personnel files and give them a hit list.  another thing about this bit: pierce’s taunting of her, instead of about her revealing herself to the public, is about how remarkably similar her time with the Red Room is to Bucky’s time as the winter soldier.

for the sake of the sake rumlow is on Steve and sam’s hellicarrier; sam makes the sacrifice play to take care of him while Steve goes on to the targeting system, where he runs into, you guessed it, Bucky.

Steve and buck’s fight is much the same, except this time more destructive, allowing them to still fall out of the room and into the river, allowing Bucky to be saved by Steve and then save him, all the others too preoccupied to realize just how bad Steve’s fight is going.

meanwhile all of the masses inside the triskelion have no fucking clue what’s going on, be they HYDRA or actual SHIELD, because Insight was supposed to launch and kill millions of people kill dozens of people and neither of those things are happening.  Natasha kept that shit locked down in the conference room, keeping Pierce from ringing for help, and without the physical destruction of the carriers (because they couldn't destroy the carriers for stealth/element of surprise) or Steve’s patriotic speech™ Hydra doesn’t have the green light to act freely.  they know something is deeply wrong, of course, but not what.

after this its even more nebulous.  how exactly do they go about getting rid of the hydra members? well, JARVIS will have cracked their conveniently meticulous personnel files (meticulous records were the detriment of the real nazis too, remember) so they know who to trust.  maybe their is a cost to SHIELD here: they have to release the names of all of their rogue agents to the other intelligence agencies: FBI, CIA, MI5, MI6, Interpol.  They also have to release the names of all of those agencies/countries’ HYDRA rogues, though they have less of them. that’s the cost: SHIELD becomes more open, gets pulled out of the shadows and into the public eye, because some of these people are too public to just have murdered (senator stern, for example) and have to be put on trial, have to have their evidence publicly displayed.  SHIELD becomes more like the agency it is in the comcis.

I don’t know about the interim, but the end result: SHIELD is still standing, HYDRA is on the run, gutted to its core, and the bond between Steve and Tony is a little bit stronger.

[softxsuki]

TW // mentions of suicide attempt

hi, hope your having a good day. im not sure if you write/accept requests that relate to topics of suicide so please tell me if you dont.

days have been getting rly difficult lately, ive been really tired all the time but at night i stay awake, not being able to battle the voices in my head. ive been experiencing this ever since i was a child but my symptoms have always been ignored.

i had attempted with pills. but i woke up the next day, and just continued on with my life without anyone ever noticing.

ik this is gonna sound stupid but kuroo, is my comfort character. i read comfort fics of him instead of actually opening up to someone because when i do i dont need to fear being neglected or juged and etc.

may i please request something where kuroo finds reader’s empty pill bottle and he confronts reader about his suspicion of it. and it leads to reader opening up abt their attenpt, ends with comfort.

so so sorry i have to bother you with this kinda thing, ofcourse if you dont take these kinda requests i will understand completely.

Kuroo Confronts Reader After Their TW//Suicide Attempt

Pairing: Kuroo x Gn!Reader

Warnings: TW//Mentions of suicide attempt, specifically drinking loads of pills (pls do not read if this will harm you more than help you), crying, depressing conversations

Genre: Angst-ish, Comfort

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1k

Summary: In which Kuroo finds your empty bottle of pills that you had taken the previous night in hopes that it would end your life, and confronts you about it. You open up to him about your attempt and he comforts you.

[A/N: Hello anon <3. Thank you for bringing this request to me. Though it isn't labeled as urgent, I marked it as urgent myself so I could get this to you asap. I don't think it's stupid that Kuroo is your comfort character. I know it can be hard to take your problems to people, so I'm glad you found an outlet that allows you to feel some form of comfort, even if it is reading fanfic like this with Kuroo. I have my own comfort characters that I like to read about <3 Ik it helps a lot when you have no other place to go for comfort. You definitely aren't bothering me with this type of request, I was more than happy to be able to write it for you. It can be read as either platonic or romantic since I wasn't sure which you preferred :). I hope this is able to bring you at least a little comfort and I'm glad you're still here <3 ily]

“What’s this?” you hear Kuroo ask from across your room as you sit on your bed, reading something on your phone mindlessly.

Kuroo had stopped by to spend some time with you for a few hours and was snooping around your room, unable to just sit still and read with you.

“What’s what?” you ask, directing your eyes to him to see him holding a bottle of pills.

Your empty bottle of pills.

Scenes of the previous night played through your head like a movie; the tears, the aggravation of not knowing what to do with your emotions, drinking all those pills, trying to take your own life. You scramble to your feet, your phone now abandoned on your bed and you snatch the bottle from his hands, throwing it back in the trash where it should have been.

He arches his brow in question, suspicious of your sudden actions.

“Nothing, just some pills that I ran out of,” you stumble over your words, feeling your palms begin to sweat from nerves.

What if he finds out?

Your thoughts were racing with “what if’s” and a multitude of excuses you could possibly use to get you out of this unthinkably awkward situation.

“I didn’t know you took pills. Why are you so nervous?”

“Well, I do. And I’m not,” you lie, wanting to slap yourself in the face for not being able to lie properly.

“Y/N…” he starts but you stop him before he can say anything more.

“Please Kuroo, just drop it,” your voice wavers as you try to hold your tears back, not wanting to look even weaker in front of him.

He looks from you to the garbage where the empty bottle of pills now laid, seeming to have put the pieces together himself.

“Why?” is all he asks, his own voice wavering slightly, crushing your heart.

He knows. He knows what you did.

You choke a sob down as you look up into his own watery eyes. The last thing you wanted to do was ever hurt him, and that’s exactly what you just did.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out, the tears beginning to fall on their own despite your attempts at holding them back, “I just- I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from leaving my head. I thought it was the only way to finally feel at peace with myself–to silence all the noise in my head…”

“No no,” he rushes to your side, seeing your tears falling down your face, “You don’t need to feel guilty or sorry for my sake Y/N. Really. I’m just glad you’re here in front of me now, alive and breathing.”

He finally brings you into his embrace, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you feel drops of water drip onto your skin. He was crying, but didn’t want you to see him.

“You drank however many pills were in that bottle and you’re still here. I don’t know who was out there looking out for you, but I can’t thank them enough for not taking you away. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t able to see you today, or ever again Y/N.”

He squeezes you tighter in his arms, almost afraid that if he let you go, you’d disappear from his life forever. You squeeze him tightly as well, relieved that he wasn’t disgusted by your actions and was still around, showing you how much he cared for you; how much he cherished the role you played in his life. For the first time since attempting to take your life, you felt relieved that it didn't work out the way you had planned; you were relieved that you in fact did wake up that morning so you could see Kuroo again. Grateful that you could have a second chance at life.

“I’m sorry,” you say again.

It’s all you could say at the moment, still clinging onto him as he also refused to let you go.

“I said you don’t need to apologize Y/N. I can’t even begin to imagine what must have been going through your mind that night that you felt like you had no other choice but to take your own life. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you when you needed someone the most.”

“It’s not your fault, Kuroo. It was my own problem that I unfortunately didn’t know how to deal with on my own.”

“Well, it’s our problem now,” he reassures you, finally stepping back and grabbing your hands in his own, “I promise I’ll help you through whatever complicated, overwhelming feelings you’re going through. I’ll do anything to ensure I get to see you everyday.”

“Thank you.”

And you really were thankful. Standing in your room, Kuroo held your hands in front of him, almost needing to touch you as reassurance that you were in fact actually there with him.

“Thank you,” you say again, overwhelmed that he was willing to help you through the feelings that you had been going through for so long, unwilling to share with anyone else, “For sticking with me even after hearing what I did. Thank you for not leaving me and judging me.”

“Of course. I’d never judge you or leave you, Y/N. Next time you feel like that, I don't care what time of the day it is, call me and I’ll come right over. You don’t have to deal with this on your own anymore. We will find a solution so that one day you don’t have to feel this way anymore.”

He pats your head and gives you a soft smile, “You’re gonna be okay.”

“Mmm, I hope so,” you give him your best smile in return, feeling a little lighter now that he knew what had gone down a few nights ago.

You knew one day in the future, you’d be able to go through a whole day feeling good instead of fighting through difficulties every waking moment of your life. So long a Kuroo was by your side helping you, you knew you would be okay.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 12/21/2021

[starlightshore]

barring the no mercy route being an influence in this case, how would you describe chara's personality? I cannot describe them well at all despite them being my favorite character. they're too complex lol. all of the meta i can find at this time as them described at both extremes of innocent & evil but i don't think that's accurate

TW: discussions of canon dark topics such as abuse , death and suicide

i love talking about chara, i've talked about them at length before lmao. thank u for giving me a chance to talk about my beloved child.

you can actually read a character exploration i'm doing in a mini-arc for Askfallenroyalty. actually, if you want one condensed post, this comic sums up chara's motives

My interpretation:

chara is an abused kid and suicidal kid*(1) who ran to mount ebott to die.*(2) upon learning that monsters are made of love and humans aren't*(3), chara began to hate humanity. the deltarune prophecy*(4) makes them to be The Angel despite being a human. Feeling undeserving of this title and obligated to fulfill it, Chara wanted to be a good kid more than anything.

But then the buttercup pie incident happened. They've accidentally*(5) poisoned asgore and came up with a plan to ensure the prophecy could be fulfilled and take a hit against humanity. Two birds with one stone -who cares if it's also a personal win too? then obviously the plan goes up in flames and they and asriel are murdered. then asgore wants to kill of all humanity.

your influence*(6) gets Chara onto a path of redemption or a path of destruction, mirroring the deltarune prophecy's two main interpretations.*(7)

in summery: chara is a scared kid trying to fit into a world that demands violence by the past actions of the previous generations. The war massacred monsters and locked them up with a kill-solution -ensuring that further violence would be needed to be free, thus continuing the cycle of violence.

chara is just a kid. they knit, they make macaroni art, they loved their family and had a best friend forever.* (8) but they're also vengeful, they cared so deeply for monsterkind they were ready to die and had no idea they'd be awake as a soul, they were prepared for death. they're complicated, you can't have one side without the other. while i’ve never wanted to murder anyone, i can still relate deeply to chara and see myself in them a lot. the tragedy of them -the fact they never really got a “happy ending” like everyone else just haunts me and it’s why I spend so much time making AFR. I just... love this character so much, i want this kid to be happy. (not that it could ever be easy to get there, happy endings aren’t free.)

And frankly, seeing this hurt kid get demonized just rubs me the wrong way, and it feels completely against the morals Undertale tries to tell with it’s story. I see it as a cautionary tale against violence and dehumanizing others for the sake of hate and violence. how kids can be influenced by the violence -or kindness around them. you don’t need to forgive the ones who hurt you, but killing them is not always the solution -though sometimes necessary as framed in the Undyne the Undying fight.

People get both Undertale’s themes and chara wrong the most, and for the game that’s meant the world to me it bothers me more than it should lol. It’s a Good Story, and I don’t mean to frame my interpretation of the character or themes as 100% canon and I know Mr.Fox’s brain to confirm it kinda deal, but with all the time I’ve spent analyzing and thinking it over I do think it’s not off in the general direction of it lol. And besides the author’s intent isn’t really the end-all-to-be-all. It’s what you get out of the story and the themes that matter and stick with you. No one can take that away from you.

Sources and evidence:

"* If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard." -faded ribbion flavor text * "The ends of the tools have been filed down to make them safer." -gardening tools in New Home (and iirc Toriel's home as well, too lazy to double check rn) * Where are the knives. -no mercy chara (this and paired with the previous imply there are no sharp objects in reach of chara's home because chara can't be trusted with sharp objects out of self harm. This doesn't necessarily mean abuse but paired with them hating humanity so deeply, being suicidal and a child it paints a picture of abuse.

"* I know why (chara) climbed the mountain.* It wasn't for a very happy reason." -asriel post pacifist epilogue dialogue

"* Love, hope, compassion... * This is what people say monster SOULs are made of. * But the absolute nature of "SOUL" is unknown. * After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist." -Library book on monster souls)

* Legend has it, an 'angel' who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. - gerson

"* It takes at least a human soul... * And a monster soul. * ...* If you want to go home... * You'll have to take his soul. * You'll have to kill ASGORE." -Alphys. Because boss monster souls are the exception and can persist after death for a short period of time, Chara could of killed any of the family members to escape the underground. this implies escaping wasn't the goal -it was to die (considering they already attempted suicide to fall underground the first time, this is explicitly suicide.) the plaque doesn't mention or speak like monster/human fusion's consumed soul would be aware. chara had no way of knowing they'd be awake. also the whole thing with the pie is a prank. cups of butter. -> buttercups. putting flowers in a pie is a joke to do, we see Chara is similar to Toriel (they mimic her speech in the no mercy monologue, they say “greetings” as she does like how Asriel says “howdy” like Flowey does. Chara makes puns and jokes in the flavor text all the time.

https://imgur.com/a/zP18P -dog food bag at different LV. "When the protagonist first encounters Mad Dummy, they are given the option to beat it up. Choosing to beat it up prompts one of three responses depending on the protagonist's LOVE." (source: undertale wiki)

If the protagonist’s LV is 1, the response becomes "(You tap the dummy with your fist.) (You feel bad.)"

If the protagonist's LV is between 2 and 4, the response becomes "(You hit the dummy lightly.) (You don't feel like you learned anything.)"

If the protagonist’s LV is between 5 and 7, the response becomes "(You sock the dummy.) (Who cares?)"

If the protagonist’s LV is 8 or higher, the response becomes "(You punch the dummy at full force.) (Feels good.)"" This implies Chara (who is the narrator) will feel different about the dog food -which references the classic phrase of "glass half empty/full" showing your out look in life. Then hitting the dummy show's Frisk's out look on violence depending on LV. Note that by the end of it, it's no longer "you feel..." but "feels good" This is Chara.

      7. “* Lately, the people have been  taking a bleaker outlook...* Callin' that winged circle the  'Angel of Death.' “ -gerson “* Only the fearless may proceed. * Brave ones, foolish ones. * Both walk not the middle road. “ -the first plaque in the first puzzle room with Toriel. The idea is to walk on both the left and right sides -you can’t go half way in the middle. this mirrors the “true” endings are only accomplished if you stick to no mercy or pacifist only.

     8. literally their home in New Home is a treasure trove of pre-game chara characterization.

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Tim Drake x GN!Reader in: So Kiss Me~, Pt. 4

12 Days of Batmas || Day 9—Kissing Under the Mistletoe

↞ previous: movie nights with the (bat)boys™ pt. 4 || watching holiday specials

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 9 | jay day 9 | tim day 9 || ((links pending))

↠ Requested By: No one, technically ((but given the fact that I’ve been working on this series since last year I’m sure you’re all ready for me to wrap this ish up lmao)) ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ so if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs/TWs: None ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 400~

…he’s not at all opposed to being caught under the sprig with you, tho there’s a good chance that he probably won’t notice it unless you or somebody else points it out.

Somewhere his brothers are making exaggerated kissing noises (and by ‘somewhere’ I mean literally right behind you).

Post’s title comes from this bop ((nobody look at me, I’m mentally regressing to a time before the shit show that is the 2020s lmao))

Another set of HCs, but this time around they’re even shorter lmao. Sorry about it folks, but my brain’s already checked out of this shitshow of a year if I’m being completely honest lol. But begardless of the length, I hope you all can still get a bit of enjoyment out of this!

Headcanon || WC: 400~

🌟 Tim’s p. neutral on mistletoe.

It’s not that he doesn’t like having an excuse to kiss you, of course, but rather that he just doesn’t need one lol.

Not to mention the fact that it can lead to some awkward, potentially annoying encounters.

((i.e. that time him and Dick got caught under it together which led to his big brother chasing him around the Manor demanding his kiss lmao))

🌟 But this level of confidence and comfort are things that comes in time.

If you’re at the beginning stages of your relationship he’s still kinda awkward about touching you, but I went over all of that back in Day Two’s installment.

The short version is, he’s not super big on PDA for the first bit of your relationship. He’s still settling into things, still trying to make that transition from friends to lovers, and figure out boundaries.

Though he knows that he loves to be close to you, he quickly finds that more overt displays of his desire make him kinda uncomfy when done in public. He doesn’t mind holding your hand/hugging you and the like, and he may even press a chaste kiss to your forehead or cheek from time to time (and also your hands/wrists because yes, pls, that’s so cute/sweet!!), anything beyond that is generally a no-go.

While he’s not as private a person as Dames, he still likes to keep his personal life out of the public’s eye—a hard feat, that, when he’s such a notable figure, and that’s saying nothing of the internet’s fascination with him.

((because you just know that the man is prime meme material; his socials are a gold mine for relatable quotes and pics, and that’s saying nothing of the candids that people frequently snap of him around town lol))

Notoriety isn’t really something that he can ever hope to escape—and unfortunately neither can you, if you’re gonna be with him—so the best he really can do is not give the paps too much fodder.

🌟 That said, he’s much looser about these things when he’s around his inner circle.

Now he’s not about to have a full blown makeout session in front of his family and friends, but he’s certainly a lot more cuddly and affectionate than he would ever dare to be in public.

And he’s not at all opposed to being caught under the sprig with you, tho there’s a good chance that he probably won’t notice it unless you or somebody else points it out.

Tho he may be a bit hesitant at first, when he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close that’ll all fade away the moment he presses his lips against yours in a sweet, lingering kiss.

🌟 Up Next: Day Ten || Holiday Party ((check back tomorrow!!))

Taglist is open, but to 18+ users only.

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol...

[bonjour-rainycity]

Double Heart | Chapter Fourteen ~ Haldir

|previous part|

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 1754

Warnings: TW -- mentions of illness

**Read on Ao3 under the user “bonjour_rainycity” if you prefer!**

A/n Can I just say, that I TRULY believe I have some of the best readers in the entire world? Each of you is so kind, so encouraging, and you take time out of your day to read this story!! Thank you, each and every one of you, so, so much! 

Immediately after leaving Cosima’s room, I seek out Baranor. I don’t want to leave her alone and must find a task to calm my mind. Though Cosima sounded sure of her ailment being non-severe, humans are so fragile. What if she were to sway like she did earlier but didn’t have me there to catch her? She could fall to the stone floor and crack her head open.

I freeze. Should I go back?

No. I stop myself. She said she would be fine, I have to respect that. Besides, I sigh, focusing on the bigger picture. I can check on her tomorrow. In the meantime, Baranor might have insight.

It’s still early, only five o’clock or so, and Baranor is exactly where I expect him to be — the healing wards. Like me, his is not prone to taking an extended period without work.

He sees me coming and greets me with a smile, passing along a small jar to another healer clothed in a robe of pale green. “We’re attempting to develop a new salve for burns,” he explains. “What brings you to the healing wards?”

I sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted under the stress of the last twenty minutes. So much could have gone wrong. “Cosima.”

Baranor’s brow furrows in concern and he directs me to what looks to be an extra office loaned to him — it’s already covered in his belongings and notes. He sits in the oversized chair behind the desk, clasping his hands in front of him. “What happened?”

I practically sink into the chair across from him. “We agreed to meet this evening in her room so I could begin to teach her self-defense. She seemed fine when I arrived — her usual personality, bright eyes, didn’t seem tired. One second she was laughing, and the next, gasping in pain. I-I mean, Baranor, you should have seen it.” I gulp at the memory, reliving the moment Cosima’s condition shifted. “All the life left her face and she swayed like she was going to faint. I caught her and sat her on the couch but she pitched forward and nearly vomited. She said she had a headache. When the sickness and pain faded enough for her to open her eyes, she looked absolutely exhausted. She said she wants to rest so I left her room and came straight here.”

Baranor nods, looking calm. “How long did the episode last?”

I concentrate on the memory, though everything in me wants to shy away. “Maybe three minutes?”

Baranor dips his head as if expecting this. “Humans are much more fragile than elves—you know this. If they do not sleep enough or get proper nutrients, they can become susceptible to headaches and mild sicknesses — even stress can have that effect on them. Sometimes headaches can be severe, in which case they are called migraines and usually come with nausea, dizziness, and more intense pain.”

My eyes widen. That’s terrifying. Such normal things that wouldn’t do much to an elf — stress, inadequate sleep, water, food — can incapacitate a human. How much more vulnerable to serious circumstances they must be — injury, for instance.

But Baranor only looks infuriatingly serene. I have to remind myself that he encounters things like this every day, even if he does typically treat ellyn. Mild fluctuations in health do not alarm him because he knows how they are likely to turn out and how to threat a patient if their health declines further.

“I will check on her in the morning after she’s had time to rest, but do not worry, mellon nîn. This is just something that happens to humans from time to time.”

I take a deep breath, leaning against the back of the chair. “Alright. Thank you. I’m sorry to burst in on your work.”

He waves off my apology. But, after a pause, he grimaces.

My stomach sinks. “What?”

He speaks much too slowly for my liking. “I do not want to alarm you, but there’s a chance Elrond might mention something to you or your brothers, and I’d rather you hear it from me so you are not caught off guard.”

I feel my eyes widening and attempt to reign in my expression. “What, Baranor?”

He sighs. “When we first encountered Cosima, she was as good as dead. Her fæ was so far gone, I had to expend serious energy calling her back. I…I had hoped that because she had actually made the choice to wake up that she would acclimate well—make a full recovery. When I dealt with her arm after the attack, I again used the power in my fæ to heal her. I noticed that there is still something…‘off’ in her own fæ.”

I feel my jaw lock. A roaring rushes through my ears. “Off?”

“Yes,” Baranor nods steadily. “Alex’s is the same way. Both the human spirits seem…torn, almost, or wounded. Like I said, ‘off’. I spoke to Elrond and he has agreed to work with them both. He believes their memory loss could related to the injuries in their fæs and, as we heal their memories, their fæs will repair themselves. Our working theory is that the memory loss is so severe it has caused the fæ to forget, almost like the memories were violently cut out of it. I do not know what that means but I think it likely originated when they arrived in this world, possibly before when they somehow transferred from their world to ours — it’s logical to think that had some impact on their fæs.”

I exhale slowly, taking all this information in.

It is alarming, to say the least.

A fæ should not be damaged…it could cause an elf to fade.

But humans are different, I reason. The health of their spirits isn’t tied to their longevity. Well — I have to correct myself. Maybe it is and humans just don’t live long enough to know for sure. I try to turn my focus back to Baranor — these worrisome thoughts are not helpful. “Do you believe this poses a threat to them?”

Baranor grimaces. “I cannot say for sure, but my instinct is that it’s not as long as they receive proper care — almost a physical therapy of sort, but for their fæs. Again, I would not have bothered you with this if I didn’t think Elrond might bring it up.”

I set him with a stern look. “Any information about the health of those in my care is of concern to me. I ask that you keep me updated.”

He bows his head. “Of course.”

I stand, feeling like I need sleep but knowing my mind is racing too much to do so. I say farewell to my friend and catch an attendant on the way to my room, requesting that dinner be sent to my chambers. I don’t feel like eating in the company of the hall. Part of me wonders if I should have the attendant take food to Cosima, just in case she’s decided she’s hungry, but I remind myself that she is perfectly capable of requesting her own dinner. If she wishes to eat, she can arrange it.

That doesn’t stop me from tucking away a banana and some bread just in case she hasn’t eaten by the time I visit her tomorrow. Proper nutrients, enough rest, sufficient hydration, and low stress.

Right as I cut into dinner, Rumil swaggers in with a plate of his own. He snorts, joining me at the small table. “Great minds, huh?” He leans towards me, furrowing his brow and studying me more intently. “Are you alright? You look pale.”

I roll my eyes, trying to cover my anxiety. “I’m always pale.”

Rumil huffs. “Come on, what’s bothering you?”

I sigh. Rumil is probably going to hear it from Elrond or Baranor anyway, so I may as well tell him. I start from the beginning. “I visited Cosima this evening.” Rumil sits back in his chair, a strange look in his eye. Could he already know? How? “I meant to teach her to defend herself, but not long after I arrived, she—she just got sick. Within a moment’s difference, she was nearly collapsed on the floor.” I shake my head against the memories but dutifully recount the full story to my brother, including Baranor’s observations and theory.

By the end, Rumil slumps in his seat, staring over my shoulder with a distant look in his eye. He’s silent for a long time.

“Haldir I…I owe you an apology. Cosima, too, though I don’t think she’d understand why.”

I furrow my eyebrows. What could he be sorry for?

“I’ve been teasing you both lately and have been encouraging your feelings for each other. It was wrong of me — I didn’t consider her mortality and what pursing a relationship with her would mean. I won’t do it anymore, I promise. Can you forgive me?”

I blink. What? “I don’t have feelings for her.”

Rumil sets me with a dubious look. “I’m your brother, you can be honest with me.”

“I don’t have feelings for her,” I repeat, more forcefully this time. Rumil’s being ridiculous. And the youngest of my brothers — his age is showing.

He huffs, looking to the ceiling as if to request strength from the Valar. “Are you really so unaware of yourself? Of her?” At my look of annoyance, he groans, seeming like he wants to push it. I set my shoulders, making it clear that we will be discussing this no further.

Finally, Rumil shakes his head, turning his gaze to his meal. “Fine, I am sorry, I can see I’ve overstepped my bounds. Forget it.”

I return to my food, watching my brother warily. His shoulders sag and he looks almost…scared. His distress is apparent, even if his accusations are baseless. He brings his eyes back to mine and the grief there causes me to freeze. What is going on with my brother?

“But Haldir…Be careful. She will be dead long before this age is done, and that is if she chooses to stay in this world.”

My fork falls to my plate.

A hollow, aching feeling makes my chest feel tight.

I don’t even know what to say to that.

Rumil stands and places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing briefly. Then, he makes for the exit. “I will leave you to your thoughts.”

And then he closes the door behind him and I am indeed alone with these terrifying thoughts.

A/n This one is shorter than the others I’ve posted, but I feel like it’s kinda dense and it was a good place to leave off. Thanks for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs make my day! Also, if you have any thoughts/theories, I would love to know those! @eru-vande sent me one the other day and it was really fun!

|next part|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist

Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff

[dionysus-and-the-bacchantes]

tips for classics majors

from a second-year classics major. i’ve acquired these tips from my seven years of being a latin student and one year of ancient greek.��

this post can be helpful for classics majors or people interested in self-teaching the classics. my concentration within my major is language and literature, so my tips will revolve around latin and greek. but if you’re studying any other ancient or modern language, my tips may still apply to you :)

~ make word associations. this is a BIG one. there are many nuances to this tip, so to start, i’ll explain why associations are useful, and then i’ll give several examples with different variations to cover the nuances. 

since many english words, prefixes, and suffixes are derived from both latin and greek, take the time to figure out one or two english words that come from each new word you learn - these can either be normal everyday english words or pop culture references. (also, latin is semi-derived from greek, so you can make associations between the two languages as well). if you learn any kind of word association, it will make remembering the word so much easier.

examples: 

pop culture: pane, which means bread in latin, is related to The Hunger Game’s city of Panem (panem is the accusative singular of pane). food insecurity is a big theme in The Hunger Games, therefore Panem is an appropriate name for the city that the series takes place in. 

latin/greek to english: in latin, vicina is an adjective meaning “close, neighboring,” and its english derivative is “vicinity.” in greek, παιδευω means “i teach” and its english derivative is “pedagogy” - aka “a method/practice of teaching.” κριτης means “judge” and its english derivatives are “critic, criticize” and “critical.” 

greek to latin to greek: sometimes it’s tricky to find out which word came from which language first, but usually it’s greek to latin. example: dea (“goddess” in latin) comes from θεα in greek.

think of those word associations as you learn your ancient language vocab. it will make recalling a word’s meaning so much easier. 

anD DON’T FORGET TO LEARN THE GENDER AND THE GENITIVE SINGULAR OF EACH NOUN YOU LEARN BECAUSE IT HELPS WHEN DECLINING THE NOUN AND MATCHING IT UP WITH ADJECTIVES LATER ON OH MY GOD thiS IS SO IMPORTANT

~ make a concentrated effort to remember lots of different sentence constructions. there are so many i literally don’t remember them all and i’ve been doing this for years. the major categories i can think of off the top of my head are subordinate clauses, conditionals, and indirect discourse, and, more generally, learn the difference between the primary and secondary verb tenses.

~ every so often, brush up on as much grammar and vocab as you can. i’m saying this because i’ve procrastinated reviewing greek all summer and i barely remember anything beyond the basics :/ pls don’t tell my professor. 

~ learn authors’ common themes and literary/rhetorical devices. for example: in the elegies of propertius, a roman poet, he used emptiness and unfulfilled wishes as motifs. learning words associated with emptiness and learning how to recognize the introduction of a wish made translating faster. i’ll confess though that i never really brushed up on the use of the optative subjunctive (the device used in wish statements), so i couldn’t recognize how exactly to translate certain sentence constructions. if i did review, it would have made translating in class a breeze. but hey, it was my first semester in college and i had no idea what i was doing at that level. please learn from my mistake! 

~ learn the political, cultural, and historical context of each piece of literature you read. it will make the experience richer. if you know the context of a fiction piece, whether its poetry or prose, you will understand so much more about it. for example: the aeneid, vergil’s masterpiece (and arguably one of the best works in latin literature), is an ode to augustus. augustus commissioned vergil to write the aeneid and to make comparisons between himself and the protagonist aeneas. he wanted people to see him like they saw aeneas - kind, pious, loyal, determined, and in charge. knowing that bit of information makes many parts of the aeneid clearer. you can apply this tip to any piece of literature, no matter the language.

this is also important in terms of non-fiction writing. i took a class on roman letter writers and i would’ve been completely lost if my professor didn’t share anything historical with us. these letter writers typically vaguely referenced local gossip because messengers often read letters that were meant only for the recipient’s eyes. my professor filled in a lot of what was missing from the letters themselves.

~ have fun with it. learning languages is supposed to be fun!! of course languages enrich your mind and bring you into close contact with other cultures and ways of life, but it is supposed to be fun too. example: propertius once wrote a whole poem about knocking on his lover Cynthia’s closed door while she sat inside... and the door was a metaphor for her vagina.... which means propertius was h0rny on main!! and he published that in a poem!!1! for people all over rome to read!!!! 

in terms of plays, my friend read one in latin by plautus about a prostitute who subverts the traditional roles associated with customer-prostitute relationships. he absolutely loved it bc the main character was a bad b!tch... and bc it was a comedic play. 

there are lots of metaphors and jokes written within latin and greek literature, so don’t be afraid to laugh :) it makes learning that much more enjoyable

~ when reading a work of literature, ask yourself what this reveals about the author’s culture. (suicide tw: mentions of su*cide as a plot point in tragedy) this tip is kinda related to the cultural context one, but different in that it looks for culture within literature, rather than looking at literature as a product of culture. and like the previous tip, you can apply this to any piece of literature no matter the language it is in. it’s important to think deeply a piece of literature as well as enjoy it for what it is. example: i’ve read most of sophocles’ plays and i can tell you that the greeks were very comfortable with suicide as a plot point. while murder is also common, suicide is much more common no matter the tragedy. the fact that this theme occurs throughout so many plays tells me that greeks viewed suicide as a tragic occurrence that affects people deeply, but also as a common way to die. it raises questions: what percentage of deaths were attributed to suicide in ancient greece? was it viewed as honorable or shameful? etc. 

and going back to vergil yet again (he’s my homeboy fr), when writing about dido and her people building the city of carthage, he specifically mentions that they are building the theaters first before almost any other building - and these few lines implicitly state that the arts were very important to carthage’s culture as a whole.

~ to sum it up: as a classics major, if you are intentional about learning the languages and truly engaged with the literature, the process will be that much more fun and you will gain that much more out of it. (<- and that sentence has a future-more-vivid construction by the way hehe)

[hteragram-x]

Firefighter AU (again)

It’s been a while since I posted anything about this AU, but I got some inspiration and finished new short story. This time about Virgil and Remus briefly discussing their jobs and characters. I think you can read it separately and still get what’s going on, but if anyone’s interested I’ll link previous related posts.

[HERE] is the introduction, [HERE] are some general HCs, and over [THERE] you can find previous story where Remus and Virgil met for the first time :>

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Word count: 1348

Relationships: technically Dukexiety, but they’re not there yet

TW: mentions of fire (what a surprise), mentions of dead animals, mentions of a car crash, swearing

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The phone rang for about half a second before Virgil picked it up and gave his practiced introduction. It was calm and quick. Then he fell silent and let the woman on the other side of the line speak, listening carefully and responding with a few instructions. In an even voice he explained that the team has already been sent, that the fire engine was on its way. That there was no need to panic and that someone else has already called and now the only thing she should do is patiently wait, sit at a safe distance from the flaming car, and keep him updated if anything bad happened before the brigade arrived.

He made sure the woman was safe, said goodbye, and let the conversation end.

 Then he leaned deeper into his chair with a heavy sigh.

“I have a question!”, the loud yell right behind Virgil nearly sent him flying to the floor. He glared at Remus, clutching his headset and trying to readjust it before it slid off his ears. Why was he still surprised by these random outbursts? He should have gotten used to them weeks ago.

“What kind of question”, he asked in a tired voice very much aware that getting mad at Remus would only make his behaviour more annoying. Or worse… it’d make Remus upset... “The one I answered forty nine times already or something new?”

“A new one!”, Remus beamed sitting on a spinning office chair and moving closer to Virgil. “And if you’re exaggerating anyway you could’ve said sixty nine. That would’ve cost you nothing.”

“It would also cost you nothing to not say that right now, and yet you did”, was a slightly drained response.

"I always do!”, Remus giggled in a surprisingly cute way and leaned even closer, still remembering to not push Virgil too far from the desk. They were both currently at work, so distracting his co-worker too much and slowing down his response for even a few seconds could have potentially tragic consequences. Remus was definitely a careless person, but not when it came to other people’s lives. That fact was often shocking even to those who knew Remus for a very long time.

Virgil lifted an eyebrow making a “go on” kind of gesture with his right hand.

“Okay”, Remus started excitedly sounding as if he was trying to hype himself up to do something difficult. “How do you do it?”

Virgil lifted his second eyebrow in a silent question.

“I mean: how do you stay calm during the calls. Why do you even work here? I can scare you by saying “boo” in quiet monotone. And then you talk with panicking people who just crashed their car into the lamppost like it’s nothing!”

To Virgil’s credit he put a lot of effort to making his brain not fixate on the “Why do you even work here?” part of Remus’ words and not see it as a kind suggestion to fuck off. He mostly failed, but the intensions were there.

“I- I’m not sure”, he responded carefully after a moment filled with sounds of a chair squeaking under Remus who was usually unable to stay still for more than four seconds. “I have a separate… headspace for work, I suppose. I dunno how to explain it. Just like… switching to a different mindset when it’s something professional. Don’t you have the same thing with putting down the fire? I assume you don’t stare creepily at other people when you enter the building that’s in flames”, he added with a small smile, reminiscing their first encounter.

“Usually I don’t”, Remus answered with slightly disturbing, cheerful honesty that Vigil learnt to expect from his chaotic co-worker. “But, yeah… you’re right. I can be calm when I’m professional. And I’m way less tempted to taste fire when I’m fighting it. You know? Like… you don’t think so much about eating a bear when it’s chasing you down the extremely narrow path where trees are getting closer and closer until the forest gets very dark and there is no way to escape anymore.” Remus finished a rushed sentence with wide, light-hearted smile that lit up his face not unlike a lighter with which he almost singed his moustache on regular basis.

Virgil blinked at him and slowly shook his head.

“O- One thing at a time, okay?”, he answered finally. “Let’s leave the bear out of this for now. I know I shouldn’t ask, but did you just say that you’re ‘tempted to taste fire’?”

“Yeah!”, Remus answered with enthusiasm sending Virgil another bright smile that somehow still looked nice despite some unhinged glint always present in his green eyes. “You can make so many tasty things with fire. Like grilled vegetables! Or…”

For some reason, the fact that Remus was vegan never failed to astound the confused operator. Maybe his dietary choices would be less unexpected if he also didn’t rate every dead animal he ever saw on the street on a scale from ‘probably inedible, not enough fur’ to ‘no one touch that! It’s my lunch’.

“…or potato chips!”, Remus finished a long list of foods. ”Those are kinda made with fire?”

“…yes?” Virgil said carefully, not really sure where this line of logic was even going.

“See?! Fire makes tasty things. Ergo, hypothesis, fire is tasty too!”

“That’s… that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard today…”

“Well, jokes on you, because I’ve said something much more stupid only twenty minutes ago. You just weren’t there!”

“I’m not sure this defence is as strong as you think…”, Virgil sighed, annoyed at himself for a tiny bit of fondness that seeped into his voice. “Anyway! Please don’t eat fire.”

“Fine”, Remus said tipping his head back with a huff. “You’re so boring.”

“And you’re a dumbass. I can’t believe I was scared of you at first…”

“You were?!”, Remus asked delighted despite knowing this information before. It was always nice to hear that he actually frightened someone, even if it was a guy scared of drinking with a straw for the fear of chocking on it one day. Or maybe especially if it was that guy.

“Shut up…”

Surprisingly, Remus did fell quiet. They sat in silence for a few minutes glad that the phone stayed silent as well. It was nice to have a few minutes of peace and calm before someone else needed help. It meant that people were safe and it let them just appreciate each other’s company in the half-empty office.

“By the way… I do get the whole ‘work mindset’ thing”, Remus continued suddenly as if they never stopped or changed the topic. “It’s like I have a separate brain and personality that kick in when it comes to these things. I see everything differently.”

Virgil nodded in understanding.

“I’m less scared when I know I have to help someone.”

“Exactly!”, Remus exclaimed, once again almost making Virgil fall out of his chair. “I have that too, but I become more serious instead! So you’re a coward, but a protective one. Got it.”

“Get out of my office.”

Remus laughed and didn’t make a single move to exit the room. He sat more comfortably in his chair, reaching into a pocket for his favourite lighter with luminescent tentacles painted over sparkly black background. It was one of the most “Remus” things Virgil has ever seen.

The next stretch of silence didn’t last as long as Virgil would have wanted. After about a minute his phone rang again, distracting his from very vivid visions of the firehouse burning to the ground because of Remus’ negligence. He gave his colleague a brief smile and promptly answered the call, his head immediately clear – the thoughts about anything irrelevant temporarily forgotten. Few seconds later the alarm went off and the dishevelled firefighter jumped off the chair with a serious expression. He gave Vigil last look seeing his focused eyes and calm, patient face. Then he switched his own brain into appropriate mode and run out of the room towards Roman and the rest of his brigade.

-

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Next part is [HERE].

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My one-person general taglist: @imma-potatoo

My one-person taglist for this AU: @isabelle-stars

I used the term “taglist” very loosely here :D

[mantis-in-the-dirt]

alright then, boys. i have quite a few thoughts and questions to consider about the inbetween and generally karl’s lore from today- i won’t be adding thoughts about the actual tales (the pit), although i might make a post about that later. just be warned, this might be kinda long-ish! i will probably expand on details within these posts later. it’s probably a bit ramble-y, but i,, cannot collect my thoughts better lmao. also, spoilers from the most recent tftsmp, in case that wasn’t clear. 

(also, forgive me if there’s any bad grammar, i’m pretty tired.)

unless i refer to them as cc!, i am talking about the character!

tw for mentions of manipulation, mentions of blood, mentions of the prison.

this is set up like a list, mostly because i will absolutely fail to keep my points in check if i don’t do it this way.

1. let’s start where Karl does- in spawn. he spawns in the inbetween, and based on what we’ve seen, his respawn point does seem to be set within the inbetween. my thoughts on this aren’t super specific, and they tangle a bit with minecraft mechanics, so. if his respawn point is set in the inbetween, that means, with Minecraft logic, he will come back right inside of the inbetween next time he leaves his time travel. what i am assuming is the inbetween is put in the/a world’s overworld, while the other side is through the nether, which means that the set spawn is naturally in the inbetween. unless Karl has a respawn anchor within the inbetween, he is naturally going to spawn there if whatever marks his respawn is destroyed. but other than that- he hasn’t set a spawn point of any kind within the other side, so technically, by Minecraft laws, he should be respawning within the inbetween. this doesn’t necessarily mean anything- for story purposes, it’s likely he’s just in the other side anyways, but it’s interesting to think about.

2. another quite glaring point from tonight’s stream. the inbetween’s threats to force karl to stay. this implies that it somehow has a way to stop him from leaving, which could involve many things. we don’t know the logic of how he joins and leaves the inbetween after he travels, and therefore we don’t know where he is. is the inbetween a separate physical plane? is it in his mind? if it’s in his mind, how would he be restrained? if it’s physical, where is it in relation the the rest of the smp? also, keep in mind this strange physical-mental-no info plane kinda idea. it’ll come up in another point soon.

3. whoo boy, this one. probably the one i’m questioning the most, if i’m being honest. one of the things we have the least answers on.. who the fuck is the inbetween? is it the castle itself, some kind of sentient being who has control and can grow itself? is there someone or something controlling the castle, making it place those books or placing the books themselves? is this force necessarily malevolent? it’s obviously not all powerful, because whoever was working to get karl out had spots that the entity couldn’t see before, and karl managed to get messages. it refers to itself as person, it refers to itself by calling itself ‘i’, implying it is some kind of sentient entity, so what and who is it?

4. i do not think either place is benevolent. neither of them seem even close to truly friendly, and both of them give big red flags in every way they talk. the inbetween is more obvious, because we have quite a bit more info on it. it’s used manipulative techniques, it’s tried to force karl into doing things and to stay. the other side hasn’t done anything specific enough to garner direct dislike, but for multiple reasons, i don’t trust it. this may be a personal opinion, but i think greeting karl like he’s familiar is strange. it said welcome home, which implies a few things (that he’s been there before, that it knows him, that it is somehow familiar with him) that we haven’t learned enough about to properly analyze. i still find it weird, however. (this is less of a concise point and more of a kind of guess/theory.)

5. this is something i said in my last short little post on the tales, but i noticed it once again within this tales, especially with a fewer specific lines. the inbetween continues to use extremely similar and the same methods of manipulation as our green smiley man himself does, which may or may not be important, but i find worth noting. 

6. there was blood in the supposedly secret room. it was a ‘surprise,’ phrased like it was supposed to be some kind of happy thing. first off, there was blood with the sign “don’t stray from the path :]” which is undeniably creepy. of all the ways you could’ve sent a message, that’s horrifying. secondly, this is one of the first (the first, possibly?) physical threats of violence within the inbetween, and we’ve observed quite often in this fandom the difference between physical and mental attacks. last, where did the blood come from? we’ve seen no physical bodies other than karl himself and the many copies of him. did something hurt the karl copies? if not, whose blood is it, and how is there so much of it all over the room?

7. this is likely a complete coincidence, or even if it isn’t it won’t matter to lore, but the blocks that we’ve seen of the other side are mostly the same as the prison. there’s a lot of blackstone and possible obsidian and such.

8. the inbetween and the other side seem almost inverse of each other. each different part of them that we are able to compare so far seems to be exactly opposite from each other. from the obvious things- the color schemes, the flowers- to the less obvious details- the way they speak to karl. the build of the other side so far seems to be foreboding and creepy, kinda strange and unusual type of build. the build of the inbetween looks peaceful and calm, very gentle and pretty. it’s obviously purposeful, and i think there are some connections with the nether (the other side) vs. the overworld (the inbetween.) 

9. there are still the karl’s wandering around all over the inbetween, and we got more information on them today. they are versions of karl who have ‘lost themselves’ and become stuck here, cursed to wander the halls of the castle together. this is a very, very interesting idea. first off, let me be clear. time travel is a tricky thing, and depending on the world and the lore of how cc!karl has decided he wants to do it. logically, these copies of karl cannot be from the past, because if they are stuck, then karl himself would be stuck, and none of the rest of the copies would be there. this then implies that either versions of himself from the future have come back and gotten stuck, and/or that there is some form of alternate reality talk coming into play here. also, to go back into the previous point, are there going to be any kind of flip-side karl’s in the other side, or are there going to be no entities at all?

10. who is warning karl out of the inbetween? the inbetween has shown us no people other than karl and his copies, but someone or something is putting the books there to warn him, and something obviously seems to know that the inbetween isn’t right. however, is this force actually trying to be helpful? is it trying to warn him away from the inbetween because they want to help him away from malevolent places, or do they just want him to come to the other side? is there some force within the castle that holds enough power to put out books with differing opinions to the inbetween’s books, or is someone manually setting out these stories?

11. where is the inbetween, and how does karl get there? we haven’t been given specific information on how karl arrives or leaves the inbetween, or where the inbetween is. is it an entire other dimension? is it within karl’s mind, or is it in a physical plane? what does it mean that karl has gone into another dimension in wherever he is? will this cause difficulties in leaving or coming back to this area in general? adding onto this with a small idea, we have been given the ‘other side’ and the ‘inbetween.’ does this imply that there is a third side, and if so, what is it? is it something we already know, like the dreamsmp, or is it a completely new world?

12. i do not think the other side is a good thing. i do not think it is going to turn out well for karl. however, it currently seems to be the better place for karl to be. it seems to be the ‘good’ out of the two, just from what we’ve seen. despite this, it seems to fight all these common stereotypes of being ‘good.’ it’s dark and scary and seems very dreary. does this or will this reflect on the dream smp itself? does it mirror anything that the dreamsmp does with stereotypes or characters?

alright then, that’s it! if you made it to the end, i hope you agreed with a couple of these points, and i hope a couple of these questions are ones other people are having as well.

sorry for the ramble essay lmao