#this is lightly depressing if you squint

[fcthots]

jason x depressed!reader with "Do you want me to wash your hair?"

You're in your bed, trying to take a nap. You were exhausted, but couldn't fall asleep, and even if you did, it wouldn't go away. Picking up your phone and seeing all the missed texts and calls made it worse. The tv was on some show that you used to love, but now it was just pissing you off. Sleep wouldn't come and everything was making you upset or angry, but you also felt numb. Everything was stupid and you felt trapped in your own head.

Until you heard the door open.

You weren't worried about it being an intruder or anything. Jason made sure your apartment was equipped with oracle approved safety measures when you moved in, but that meant that there were very few people it could be.

You don’t move from your spot, only your eyes and greasy hair peeking out from the blankets. Maybe you didn’t have the energy to get up and run to the bathroom to get ready, but that doesn’t mean you particularly liked anyone seeing you this vulnerable.

He gently opens your bedroom door. The lights are off so he can't tell right away if you're awake or not. He squints until he spots your eyes watching him. He sighs.

His footsteps feel louder than they are. You avert your gaze from his and instead focus your eyes onto his feet walking closer to you.

When he finally makes it to his destination, he doesn't look at you right away. "I'm gonna turn on the lamp."

You shut your eyes and reopen them after you hear the click of the lamp. You squint at Jason's feet again.

His voice holds no judgment or accusation. "Why weren't you answering your phone?"

You want to respond, you do, but you have no excuse to offer him. Your mouth feels heavy with the weight of your guilt. You worried him. He has other things to do and now he's checking on you because you wouldn't pick up the fucking phone and send one text message. And why? Because it was too stressful for you?

He lightly peels the covers back from your face.

"Come back to me. Don't lock yourself up in there. I'm not mad. You didn't do anything wrong. Stop trying to punish yourself."

You finally look at his face in order to squint at him in faux offense. He knows you too well.

He trails his thumb gently up and down your arm. "You good to answer questions?"

You think about it for a minute and nod, despite the fact that you don't exactly feel like like answering questions, afraid of what they will be, but this is Jason after all. He's always mindful of your limits. The hand stills.

"Cool. Do you know how many days it's been since this started? Ballpark?"

You avert your eyes. You feel shameful for not telling him when it started, knowing he asked you to tell him when it happens.

He starts trailing his thumb again. "Try and stay out your head for me. I promise I'm not mad, I'm just trying to figure out how bad the episode is."

You sigh. "Three?" Your voice comes out cracked from disuse.

He watches his hand move against your arm. "Close enough, although I think it may have been 4 days, maybe 5."

You grunt in acknowledgement.

He sighs, not out of exasperation, but in thought. "Do you want me to wash your hair? Like in the sink."

"No. The rest of me is gross too, I don't wanna wash just my hair."

"Well do you feel up to a full shower?"

You feel like you want to cry, but you won't. "No...but I don't want to just wash one part. I don't wanna use all the energy I have left only to get one thing done, but I don't have energy for the rest."

He softly brings his hand to your face. His thumb trails over your cheekbone. "That sounds overwhelming" after a beat, "and exhausting."

You groan and try to hide yourself under the covers, dislodging his hand.

He peels the covers back again. His voice holds sincerity. "How about I give you a bath then? You don't have to do any of the work. I'll do everything. How's that? Sound good?"

You take a moment before tentatively nodding your head.

Jason takes his time helping you up. He supports most of your weight which seems silly because you can technically walk just fine, but you don't pull away all the same. His arm feels warm around your waist as you walk.

"I'll make you something to eat after you get out, assuming you haven't eaten in a while." He's right. You nod. Something eats away at you.

Your steps get slower as you feel heavier with guilt. "You know it won't fix me, right? None of it can." You don't look him in the eyes as you speak.

You watch the furrow of his brows from the corner of your vision. He stops walking so he can look you in the eyes. "I don’t care. I don't care if I have to do this every day for months at a time. I don't care if I have to cook every single meal for you. I'll do all of it and more because I care about you."

"I'm already too much of a burden, I won't allow you too do that for me"

"But you can't make yourself do it right now so what's the plan? To rot away? No. Not happening. You are not a burden. I want to help you. Let me help you."

For him, you'd do anything.

[marsbutterfly]

HELLO MARSLYN 😈

idk if you’ve done this already.. but could i have some dating headcanons for hanma? 🥹 ilysm

a/n: HELLO BITCHLYN <3 I am so sorry this has taken me so long BUT I finally finally finished this <3 I was going to make it all very sweet and fluffy then the smut came out. oh well, it is what it is hehe

Dating Shuji Hanma 𓈒∘☁︎

warnings: fem!reader, mentions of the following - blood, knives, bruises, violence, smoking and some creepy ppl at first, some anxiety if you squint. NSFW, oral sex (m! receiving), multiple creampies, no breeding kink tho. not proof read cuz i'm depressed 🫶🏻

𓈒∘☁︎ You "first" met Hanma by accident. It was a simple summer day, you were on your way back from class when a group of men stopped you on the street. Their faces were some you had never seen before, even though you walked the same path everyday.

𓈒∘☁︎ A smile crept on the biggest one's face and you could feel the blood nearly draining from your face and yet, your heart was beating so fast. A fear you had never felt before as they take a few steps closer, nearly pressing you against the wall.

𓈒∘☁︎ You don't have time to scream for help because, before you even realize, a shadowy figure is already on top of them. A slim boy with duo color hair throws punches around in such speed you have never seen before. He laughs a deranged laugh and you notice that he is mostly using his right hand, yelling something about "punishing assholes."

𓈒∘☁︎ Once all the creeps who cornered you are on the ground, a mess between bloody noses, swollen eyes and missing teeth, the boy turns to look at you. Splatters of red across his face as he walks closer, his left fingers rubbing his right knuckles.

𓈒∘☁︎ "Are you alright?" He asks, a blank expression on his face while his eyes give you a puzzling look that you can't quite decipher.

𓈒∘☁︎ "I think so," your voice cracks, hands shaking lightly as he walks closer. After a few seconds of examining his face, you realize you have met him before. In fact, it was a face you were maybe too familiar with, "Shuji?"

𓈒∘☁︎ The right side of his lip curls into a smirk and he raises an eyebrow, "I go by Hanma now, it's more intimidating!"

𓈒∘☁︎ After that, the two of you began spending more time together. While you weren't thrilled with his ways of getting what he wanted, you still accompanied him wherever he went. The gas station on the corner where he would threaten to beat the owner if he didn't give him a pack of cigarettes (of course you would pay the poor man behind his back)

𓈒∘☁︎ Or when he would bring you to the gang's hideout and listen for hours as he instigated the boys to punch each other (it became common for you to mend battered knuckles and accessing injuries)

𓈒∘☁︎ However, he could also be very romantic when he wanted to be. Like when he would take you out to dinner, though not typically to restaurants since he was banned from most of them, he would insist on taking you out for a night bike ride, the smell of the ocean mixing with the smell of whatever takeout food you ordered.

𓈒∘☁︎ You would spend hours sitting by the sea, the sand getting in between your toes after he splashed some water onto your feet. The cold breeze against your face and the sweetness of his lips against yours after eating dessert.

𓈒∘☁︎ He will bring out a deck of cars and insist on playing for a chance to see your boobies, he cheats and wins every time of course but he will deny it like his life depends on it if you call him out.

𓈒∘☁︎ I think he is caring in his own personal way. Even though he might sometimes get himself busted up pretty badly, he would never, EVER put your life in danger, willingly or not.

𓈒∘☁︎ I feel like he might also have a "special talent" though I'm not sure what it would be. Maybe he is really good at doing your makeup since his eyeliner is so on point.

𓈒∘☁︎ Or maybe he is really good at drawing and keeps leaving silly, little pictures around your house for you to find when you are away from him. Some are drawings of hearts, some are gory as fuck. Who knows what you'll find next time?

𓈒∘☁︎ He is very protective of you. Like, any man who gets too close or even looks in your direction, gets a stern look or maybe even a knife to the throat when you look away.

𓈒∘☁︎ The idea of having you all to himself makes him go crazy. He gets hard with the slightest of touches, and when he feels your mouth around his cock? He feels like he could bust a nut with the simply breeze of your warm breath.

𓈒∘☁︎ He loves it when you have your "bad girl moments", when you push his against his back and get on your knees, moving your hair out of your face to give yourself better access to his already throbbing cock.

𓈒∘☁︎ Oh, and he is obsessed with your pussy. The way he fills you up, the way you move your hips against him, the way he fucks you so hard his balls actually come in contact with your clit.

𓈒∘☁︎ He gets easily drunk on the scent of your sweaty skin mixed with his, the pool of your juices sliding down your legs towards the ground. Oh, how he loves the sounds you make.

𓈒∘☁︎ Also his pull out game is immaculate. The man has never worn a condom in his life, but every so often he will give into the temptation and release all of his cum inside of you. He will do it until you are dripping.

𓈒∘☁︎ Then he immediately goes out and buys like, three boxes of plan B. idk, the man knows the consequences to his actions.

𓈒∘☁︎ Oh and to finish this off, did I mention that he definitely asked you out by beating a bunch of guys up and either using their blood or displaying their bodies to form up the words: be my gf? because he did.

[jokingmisfit]

Not A Child And Not My Job

Yandere BAU x reader

Warning- Delusional BAU, Gaslighting, Yelling, Drugging, allusions to stalking if you squint, forced regression if you squint, couldn’t do much with Penelope cause she doesn’t come to the other places with the team, didn’t add elle

(I tried something new towards the end, the writing gets sloppy to signify the readers thoughts being blurred by the drugs please let me know what you think about that)

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. My job was supposed to be a therapist. I was meant to help keep them sane and calm. To help them through tough times. This isn’t my job.

I feel more like a pet than anything. I feel like all I’ve done is thrown them deeper into this demented mind set. And it’s not like I can do anything about it. No one would believe that it’s weird. The Bau was always filled with ‘outcasts’ as they put it.

Recently I’ve had to put my feelings about it on hold. The team began slipping up on cases. They were rushing through and making mistakes. Penelope said it was because they wanted to get back to me, so I convinced the big bosses to let me go with them on cases.

That's how I ended up here. On the way back to Washington. Sat directly in the lap of Chief Hotchner. No one was directly paying me mind, they were talking about the case, however they still stared.

I didn’t listen to the conversation. My job was a therapist for the agents not to be an agent. I don’t like thinking of people in a negative light.

I kept my eyes on the book Spencer gave me. He was adamant that I read it. Last time I tried to deny a gift from one of them it was from Penelope. The look in all of their eyes when I tried to say I didn’t need an extra laptop was terrifying.

I shouldn’t be so surprised. I’ve read through a few of the files that they’ve worked on. The grisly scenes and horrific events, it’s no wonder they’ve all become twisted in their own ways.

Aarons arm rested loosely around my hip, his hand resting lightly on my thigh. The warmth of his palm should be calming, but it only serves as a reminder that they all have developed an inappropriate dependency on my presence. The thought alone makes me shift uncomfortably.

Dereks the first to respond. “Aww poor baby~ you must be tired, huh? Waking up so early only to get shoved on a plane.” 

His voice sounded genuine, but it feels more like I’m being mocked. I’m not a child.

“Why don’t we get you snuggled up on the couch hm?” JJ asked.

I’m not a child.

Frowning, I respond. “I’m fine. Just needed to move a little.”

“But, you're pouting, there's stiffness in your shoulders too, your hold on your book has loosened, and your eyes have bags under them. All of this is most likely caused by your lack of sleep. Statistically speaking 15 to 20 percent of people with insomnia develop a form of depression.” Spencer argued back at me.

Fine, if they want me to keep ignoring the truth I will put it out on the table where they can’t ignore it.

“I’m not depressed, Spencer. I’m uncomfortable, because the whole team treats me like a child.” Derek scoffs when I say this. “You all act like I’m fragile. I found you’ve all developed a dependency on me in the form of my presence.” I feel Aarons grip tighten and I lay the book on the small table. “You want to take care of me even though I don’t need it, because it gives you a sense of purpose outside the BAU.” JJ frowns and shifts where she stands. “I’ve shown you all a kindness that’s not in the form of family or friendship. You’ve all seen and experienced terrible things and as a result you warp what I am into an innocence that in reality isn’t there.”

Jason looks me in the eyes. “Alright, I think that’s enough.”

Ignoring him I continue. “Your minds are using me as a way to cope rather than handling the problems properly. Since you’ve never had someone there to listen and share with rather than each other none of you know how to properly react.” Spencer looks defiantly upset. “I’m not blaming you for not knowing how to respond, but it’s making me feel unsafe and honestly some of it is insulting.”

The plane was quiet after I stop. I try to move off of Aarons lap but he holds me in place.

“Let me go… Please.” I whisper.

His arm doesn’t move. No, his other arm comes and holds me tighter against him. My breath feels more shallow. I should’ve waited. God, this is a twelve hour flight. I feel all of their eyes on me.

I struggle more against him. “Aaron, I said let me go!” I try to pry his arms off but my hands are shaking and he’s stronger than me.

“Look you can’t even get out of his lap, and you think you can take care of yourself?” Derek said with derision.

I freeze in anger and glare at Derek. “That is completely different! I may not be able to fight people off but I can discern when I need to eat and sleep and I can sure as hell sit in a damn chair like a normal person!”

I’m startled by a slamming sound on the table in front of me. Jason looks at me with a disgruntled look. “I think we have all had enough of your tantrum.” He says sternly.

“It’s not a tantrum, it's me trying to show you the damn truth and you acting irrational!” I screamed at him.

I heard a sigh behind my ear, before Aaron said, “I knew it was a bad idea for her to come along, her little mind just  can’t wrap around everything and it’s making her act out.”

Are you kidding me?!

Tears flood my eyes in frustration. “That is not what's happening! God, how more delusional can you all become?!”

Joining in again, JJ comes over to me and wipes the tears away. “Guys, don’t be so rough on her, like Hotch said she’s too little to understand.”

This is so much worse than it should have ever been.

I writhe in Aarons grip. Screaming and moaning out, begging him to let go of me. Through the chaos of my screaming I can hear Jason say something. I continue to try and get away, but I can hear them talking to each other over it.

I feel a hand graze the side of my face. I try to move away but he grabs my face. Making my head stay still I can see Spencer's concentrated face staring at my neck. 

My neck hurts. It felt cold too. Spencer's face was also a bit blurry. He was eye level somehow. Was he crouching? When did he start smiling so sweetly at me? Is he saying something? Am I moving?

I try to speak but all that comes from me are whines. I feel like I’m freezing. I’m dizzy. 

Where’d Spencee go? Why I was so sad before? Where is I? Why I wanna cry? Where is that cooing coming from?

I’m overwhelmed by a scent like pine and, and, I don’t know. They feel soft. Feels warm. I bury my face in the warm. Is their wearing cotton? Sounds like a pool. Huh?

“You- k- we- you-”

Whas that mean? So tired gotta sleep.

[luvv4j4ybe11]

With time

✧𝐓𝐰𝐢n 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐥𝐨’𝐚𝐤

✧Tw!!: mentions of death,sibling loss, lo’ak dies instead of neteyam, lots of crying, first time celebrating birthday without your twin brother, mentions of su!c!de, underaged dr!nking, mentions of alcohol,mostly angst with some fluff towards the end (if you squint),feelings of grief and depression and I think that’s all, enjoy this lil Drabble<33

✧Dividers by @benkeibear

✧ translation(s): Skxawng-moron,idiot , kuru-queue, hammerbrow fish- the goldfish that kiri was playing with in that one scene (idk how else to describe it😭)

(Listen to this to make it extra sad🥰)

You woke up feeling the weight on your chest being even heavier than usual. Your face still wet with tears from last nights realization. That realization being that today was your birthday but not just yours, it was his too. Ever since the night he died, you haven’t left your side of the marui since.

Even though it’s been four months since your twin brother died, that day just keeps replaying in your head, the sound of your mother screaming, the look of absolute devastation on your older brothers face, the blood on your hands, the sound of tsireya crying, lo’aks cold expression, the way your father looked at you with complete disappointment and spat out a cold, “you’ve done enough”

Every time you thought about it you felt sick.

And naturally, being Navi twins you guys were connected more than normal siblings were, you felt each other’s heartbeats, felt when the other was happy or sad, uncomfortable or frustrated. So when you felt cold and utterly alone, you knew he was gone.

But yet there’s still times you hear his heartbeat, you feel how lonely he is and how much sorrow he’s filed with. And it makes you weak with sadness every time.

Being pulled out of your thoughts by a small pair of hands on your bicep shaking you back and forth, you turn around to see your baby sister staring back at you with a smile on her face, her eyes still washed with sadness. Yes, she was young, but she certainly wasn’t stupid. She knew how to read the room better than kids your age did.

“Sis, come on, get up! It’s your birthday!” She says while climbing onto you to give you a hug, which was something she did every year, but this one was more gentle and genuine than the others. You break the hug to place a hand on her head, lightly ruffling her braids,“Maybe later tuktuk, I’m still a little tired.” You say,weakly trying to hide the pain in your features with a fake smile.

She frowns at this, making you let out a soft chuckle as you go to push her off of you. Making her cling onto you more. “That’s what you always say!, please sis, can you get up? For me? For lo’ak?” She says while looking at you with puppy dog eyes. The slight mention of his name brings tears to your eyes, not ready to start this day without him.

“Sister, leave her be, alright? How about you go see what kiri is up to?” Neteyam says as he lifts the curtain to get into your side of the hut, holding it open for tuk to run out eagerly to find her sister.

Closing it, he glances at you before siting on your sleeping mat, “Sister, I’m-” “Teyam don’t. I can’t go through today with this fake sympathetic bullshit!, you guys were constantly on both of our asses for everything! You guys never cared about how we felt! How he felt! You know how many times he came to me telling me how dad made him feel like shit? Or how kiri was pushing him about certain things? Or how he caught dad talking to you about how he’s, “too reckless” and he “wouldn’t be surprised if he got himself killed”?”

His ears pin back to his skull immediately, knowing the exact conversation you were referring to. “Sister, you think that didn’t bother me too? I told him that lo’ak only acted like that because he wanted to be like him. But of course he didn’t listen. And do you think I wasn’t aware of how you guys felt? Why do you think I’d always have both of your guys backs whenever you got into trouble? Why do you think I came up with lies left and right to mom and dad so you two wouldn’t get your asses beat? I wanted to avoid making you guys feel like that, but I only have so much control y/n..” he says as he squeezes his his fists in anger, his feelings from that night bubbling to the surface again.

You move from your comfortable position to sit next to him, bringing him into a much needed hug. “Brother, I know you did. I know you try every single day. And I look up to you because of that. You’re stronger than I am. You keep pushing forward even though there’s so much shit happening to you, I don’t understand how you do it.” You say as you feel tears flowing from your face, the hug reminding you of how lo’ak used to hug you whenever you were in a mood.

“I do it because of you guys. Because of him. You guys are the reason I keep pushing. And especially the both of your skxawng asses” he says with a soft chuckle before breaking the hug, placing his hand on your head softly, something he did with you and lo’ak that became a comfort thing for the both of you. “You can do this today sister, I believe in you, we all do.” His tone making tears automatically spill over your eyes, and causing you to notice his tear filled eyes.

Looking for some sort of grounding you place your hand over his and squeeze, taking multiple deep breaths before speaking. “Teyam.. I can’t, I miss him so much. Everytime I wake up I feel so alone and cold, but I can still hear his breath, and his heartbeat. My pain is not only mine, but his too.” You say in between sobs, watching neteyams breathing get more shallow as he tries to hold in his tears. His features covered in concern.

“Oh baby sis..” bringing you into another much needed hug. He places a light kiss on your forehead before rubbing your back and gently swaying you from side to side,trying to calm down your cries.

Kiri walks in quietly, the feeling of your pain drawing her to your room. Her whole body goes slack and cold when she sees your state, making her glance at Neteyam. That feeling intensifying even more once she saw the pain in his eyes. She takes her place behind you, quickly inserting herself into the hug. Wrapping her right arm around your waist and the other overlapping with neteyams so she can hold him too,her chin resting on your shoulder.

“You feel him don’t you? His heartbeat? His sorrow? His breath? Like he’s just a word about to be spoken?” Without lifting your head you nod quickly, too mentally exhausted speak anymore. “I know how you feel sister. Take that feeling as a way of him telling you to keep going. Keep breathing for him, keep your heart beating for him. That sorrow will be gone once he sees that you’re living for him.”

Her words make you sob even more. Knowing she’s right, he’s always hated seeing you cry, and he did anything to fix it. Purposely making himself look like a dumbass, making you go on an ikran ride with him, asking you to go exploring with him, taking you to you guys secret spot, pinky promises. He did anything for you. And so did you.

A wave of calm suddenly hits you, making your sobs come to a complete stop, and your breathing becomes more level. Feeling the change, your siblings give each other a confused glance before looking down at you. “Sister?..” they both say in sync as you break the hug and get up, your features going completely cold. “I’m going to visit him..if that’s ok with you guys” you say while lifting up a blanket, revealing a stash of alcohol you’ve been keeping ever since his funeral.

Quickly you take a bottle and cover it back up, grabbing your hunting knife and putting on both you and lo’aks matching bracelets you made on your 10th birthday. Walking towards the curtain to leave, you’re pulled back by a gentle pull on your shoulder.

“Y/n..don’t don’t drink today. It’s not gonna stop you from hurting, and you know that.” Kiri says while gliding her hand down to your hand that was holding the alcohol firmly. “Yeah, I know that kiri, but it dulls it somewhat. And it stops me from wanting to throw myself off of a cliff so I think it’s worth it. Plus it’s my birthday! I’m allowed to drink as much as I want today!!” You say in a fake enthusiastic tone, your sarcasm reminding them so much of lo’ak.

“Y/n.” Neteyam says in a soft but stern tone, the one that told you that whatever he was about to say was gonna be serious. “Don’t drink. I know you’ve been hurting more than we have but we need you here. Lo’ak needs you here. You know how much he hates seeing you hurt.” He says as his voice starts to crack slightly, remembering all the things the three of them would come up with whenever you were anything but happy and content.

Feeling the tears well in your eyes again, you squeeze the bottle tighter, fighting the instinct to drown your feelings in the burning liquid.

Glancing over at them, your heart breaks seeing the genuine hurt on their faces because of the realization you’ve been drinking this whole time and they didn’t know. Sighing angrily,you shove the bottle into neteyams chest. “Fine, but when I get back just save me a bottle, because I know it’ll be gone by the time I come back.” You say while turning out of your room swiftly, leaving kiri and neteyam there speechless.

Once you get to the spirt tree, you thank payakan and tell him that you’ll see him soon. Ever since lo’aks passing you’ve only really left your marui to go see payakan, knowing he carries the same weight as you do.

While swimming towards the tree, you mentally prepare yourself for this painful experience. You’ve been avoiding coming to the tree in the first place, because you knew how much it take out of you. And he knew the same.

Connecting your kuru to the tree, you’re brought to you and lo’aks secret spot back at your actual home. The only place that brought you two comfort. Tentatively, you walk through the clearing, lo’ak still not in sight.

“Lo?, where are you?” You call out, the sound of your own voice making you realize you weren’t 15, but you were younger. Walking towards a curtain of flora that led to a small river, you catch a glimpse of your brother, making you walk quicker.

Once you get there you see lo’ak sitting at the edge of river with his feet languidly swaying in the water, just staring into the water. Almost like he was waiting for something, or someone. You don’t say anything at first, just taking in the sight of him after not seeing him for months.

“Brother..” you say softly, not wanting to disturb his peace. His head whips in the direction of your voice, his expression lighting up as he gets up and walks towards you. “Sister!!, I thought you’d never show!” He says as he takes you into a hug, the sound of his voice making you giggle since he was also his younger self.

“Of course I did, it just took me a little time. You know I’d always come to see your skxawng ass” you say as you break the hug to shove his face with your pointer and middle finger. He giggles at that, his smile making the weight on your chest get lighter.

Grabbing your hand, he guides you to where he was sitting. Taking your seat beside him, you gaze out into the water with him.Nervously playing with your extra finger, you take a breath before talking about what you were avoiding for so long.

“Brother I’m-” you exhale slowly before continuing, noticing out of the corner of your eye how all lo’aks attention was turned to you. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be here. It should’ve been me that got shot that night. I was the one that put the idea into your head to go save spider. I should’ve just told you and teyam to go so I could’ve got spider by myself-” “Sister,” he cuts you off, your rambling making the pain in his heart worse. “It’s not your fault. You need to stop hurting yourself like this. It’s not fair to you. You need to focus on now. Not ‘what if’. And plus, It’s not like I would’ve listened to you if you told me to go anyway, there’s no way in hell I’d let that happen.”

Both of you giggle at the last part, knowing that he’s not lying. Once your laughs die down, you look down at your hands, that feeling of guilt still lingering in your chest. Glancing over at you, he notices how you’re playing with your pinkies, a telltale sign that told him something was bothering you.“Sister, what else is it?” He says as he leans back onto his hands, noticing how your shoulders slightly go stiff from his question.

Turning your body to face him, you don’t fail to notice the genuine look of concern in his eyes. “You know what day it is today?” You ask, making his expression completely drop. “Yeah, I know.” The words feeling like a weight on his tongue. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do today without you lo’. I can’t. It hurts too much.” You say as the tears finally spill over your face, the grief crawling back up your throat once again. “No, y/n, you can and you will. For me. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean you can’t live out there. Live for me, y/n. Stop letting yourself be consumed by grief and guilt. I hate seeing you like this and you know that.” He says sternly, making sure you know he’s being serious.

All you do is nod your head, not trusting your voice with the lump in your throat and the never ending tears that keep falling from your eyes. The sight of your hurting form makes lo’aks heart twist in pain. And the fact he couldn’t really do much hurt even more. “Come here, sis,” Placing his hand on your shoulder he pulls you towards him. Giving you a much needed hug, immediately making you sob into the crook of his neck.

“I miss you, twin” he says while resting his chin on your shoulder, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes. You let out a broken, “i miss you more” as the void in your chest grows the longer you two hug.

Once you finally calm down,you break the hug, now seeing each other how you guys remember. “Well shit..” you both say in sync, making you both laugh. “You look so grown. I don’t like it.” Lo’ak says as he admires you a little longer, a feeling of peace swirling in his chest. “Yeah,me neither” you say in a soft tone, once again feeling guilty for moving on without him with you.

Placing left hand on your head, and his right on your shoulder he looks at you with a soft smile on his face, “Y/n,you’ll be ok. I’ll always be watching you, and I’ll always protect you.” The tone of his voice making you inhale sharply so the next wave of tears doesn’t come. He raises his pinky finger towards you, waiting for you to do the same. You let out a soft chuckle at his childish behavior before obliging.

Once both of you pinkies are holding onto one another, he grips your shoulder tighter. “Promise me, that you won’t give up on yourself, that you won’t push everyone away, that you won’t drink your feelings away. Promise me that you can get over this feeling. That you will live through this feeling.”

You squeeze his pinky even tightly as you feel the tears well up in your eyes, realizing that time will make no difference to how much you miss him. But it will for how much you will grow through this feeling.

Tugging his pinky towards yours, you nod your head ‘yes’ before saying, “I promise. I promise I’ll do my best for you. I promise that I’ll try for you.” The words making a smile appear on his face. He brings you into a loving hug, the warmth of comfort washing over both of you guys.

“Happy birthday,twin” you guys say in sync again, a soft giggle coming from both of you. Breaking the hug, he grabs your hands and squeezes them tightly “ow! That hurts!” “I don’t care! I want you to have fun for me today alright? Celebrate us! Spend time with everyone that loves you and gives a shit about you. You deserve it!” he says through his laughs, making you smile softly at his childish demeanor.

“Alright I will!! I’ll come visit you again tonight and I’ll tell you all about today!” You say in a giddy tone, noticing that this has been the first time you’ve been somewhat happy since these last 4 months.

“You better” he says while rolling his eyes dramatically, knowing he did it to make you laugh. Once your laughter dies down, you both look back at the water. Not wanting this moment to end already. “I love you,bro” you say while bumping your shoulder against his, making him laugh and do the same to you. “I love you more,sis” he says with a soft smile on his face, one that replaced the one on yours.

You two stay like this for a while, just basking in each others presence and invading each others space. Thoughts of leaving suddenly crowd your head and the second those thoughts occur, your brother says something about it.“Y/n go spend the day with them. You know how they get on our birthday, plus they’ll make you feel better.” He says in a delicate tone, a soft smile on his face from remembering how much they loved celebrating your birthdays. You sigh softly, before reluctantly standing up.

He gets up with you, bringing you into an affectionate hug. Without breaking it, he whispers “I’ll miss you,sister.” With complete sadness laced in his tone. A tear falls from your face from the sound of his voice,“I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know, brother.” You two stay like this for a while, until it starts getting harder to breathe, a harsh reminder of the truth.

Breaking the hug, you give him a look that lets him know that, making him hesitantly let go of you. “I’ll see you later tonight brother, I promise. I love you!” You say while turning around to leave, hearing him let out a little ‘I love you, too’ before you leave.

Once you reach the surface you catch your breath, calling out to your ilu and mentally going over your interaction with your brother to avoid acknowledging that void in your chest.

It’s a peaceful ride back home, until you start getting in your head about ‘having fun’ today without lo’ak. Because it wasn’t just your birthday, but his too. And celebrating without him just doesn’t feel right, even tuk knows that.

But right when you start having those doubts, a group of hammerbrow fish swarm around you and your ilu, stopping you in your tracks. One of them swims up to your face and flicks your forehead, making you furrow your brows and shove it away. They swim around you and you ilu for awhile longer before leaving, one of them staying back a little longer to look at you.

The whole interaction left you with a smile on your face, knowing that it was definitely lo’ak telling you to calm down, and to stop worrying about unnecessary things. Making hope swirl in your chest.

With time, you know you’ll be okay.

A/N~ this took SO LONG to write oh my fucking god. But we made it!! And I hope you guys enjoyed this (and this is my first angst fic so pls cut me some slack if some phrasing gets repetitive😔) because I did, didn’t enjoy the tears I cried while writing this but it was worth it🩷 if you made it to the end and you’re reading this I wanna thank you so much for reading this whole long ass fic, must really love me huh😏?? LMFAOO but anyway! Otw to write for kinkmas now🏃🏽‍♀️💨

Duces🫶🏽,

Luvv4j4ybe11

[plutopitou]

◇ Carry the two of us

bakugou katsuki x gn!reader

genre: fluff, sfw

Suffering from another cycle of depression, you start to feel like a burden to Katsuki. Your aches pinch his soul as he’ll do whatever he can to care for you

word count: 1.4k

warnings: recovering depressed reader, angst if you squint that’s about it :o

I’m pretty new to doing sweet sfw but this one is rlly personal to me so i hope yall enjoy :)

A lingering aroma of cooked spam awakes you from your extended sleep into the edge of the afternoon. But it was the emptiness of space on your right that had your attention first.

A small pale yellow glow peeks beneath the blackout curtains you begged Katsuki to install with the excuse of being helpful for him, for the times he can only rest in the mornings after a grueling night shift.

You didn’t mention you thought of them for yourself first. Your days started to shift into the nights as the night became your day; yet you still wanted to sleep through it all.

Your heart couldn’t let go of the dismay in Katsuki’s face when he continued to arive home to see you still stationed where he left you ten hours ago.

Only in dreams could you hold his hand to your heart and say how sorry you are for acting like this. Why you couldn’t find the answer to the weight pinning you back down to the bed and drowns you in false comfort.

“Did you eat today, sweetheart?”

A light “no” is muffled beneath the comforter, the sound ricocheting to your ears, cursing yoursef for how pathetic you felt you sound.

Two days passed and your house chores and errands are only piling up, forcing you to confine back in the warm cacoon you lie in.

It can be days since you last had the energy to shower but it will never stop him gracing a kiss to your cheek every rising sun and setting moon. To Katsuki you were far from what you thought of yourself to be in such hard times, even if it was hard for him to express it to you.

You just needed time and patience.

Footsteps rustle through the room until it reaches right beside your head.

The comforter is carefully peeled back, your eyes squint from the light now pouring into the bedroom. You look up to see him glazing down at your fatigued figure. His body radiates a warm tenderness trying to break through to you. White light from the now opened curtains gleaming behind him causing his hair to appear lighter.

“Do you feel like getting up today?” His rough voice asks lightly.

You shake your head no, pulling the blanket closer to your chin, you wanted to block away the incoming feeling of embarrassment.

But he doesn’t look at you that way.

This wasn’t completely unusual for Katsuki, your depressive episodes were something that’s happened plenty of times before. Yet each time you curse and convince yourself he’s had enough of you and will finally leave.

“Let’s just sit up for now, ‘lright?” Your mind fights with your lips to not disagree with this arguably simple task. It takes every fiber of your being to let him help you lean up against the headboard and not burry underneath like a rabbit seeking shelter.

You just wanted to go back to sleep.

Katsuki smolders down your wild hair with his palm, kissing the crown of your head softly before turning to the doorway.

It was then you noticed a white office shirt thrown to the side, his loose trousers and white tank fitting the crevices of his lean muscular body, a outfit usually worn after he only has paperwork at the agency.

You grasp his hand before he leaves. “Wait. Don’t you have a full shift today?”

“Left earlier to get some paperwork done and took a couple personal days off.” He replies rubbing doting circles on your knuckles.

An overwhelming sense of guilt and burden fuels your mind. Feeling like such a case. Your boyfriend, who thousands rely on to protect, has to take time away for you.

He can see the gloomy blue sheen your eyes, noticeably morphing your demeanor into something soft and fragile. It pinches his soul.

You loved feeling the deep scars and roughness of his large palm. “I want to be here with you, okay? Don’t feel bad.” He gives your soft hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I know.” You sighed. “I just feel a little guilty. That’s all.” Vulnerability leaks from your words, shooting daggers from his palm to his center.

“You know, it breaks my heart when you’re hurting like this when I’m not here.” He sighs lowly, dripping remorse for your sudden low spirit.

Muttering his return in a few minutes, he leaves after your empty answer.

He returns settling a tray of cooked spam, rice and a perfect egg sitting on top. A small yet filling meal, one you both would eat constantly together in the beginnings of his heroism to pinch a few pennies and make ends meet.

You envied all his strength as you both lay comfortably in a beautiful spacious home for two.

“Katsuki, I don’t think I can finish all of this.” You mumble, chopsticks piercing the yolk as you play with the rice absentmindedly.

Holding a little notebook and pen, he settles next to you in bed. “Eat whatever you feel you can, don’t force yourself. I’ll finish whatever’s left after.” He replies as he continues to write.

The pen writes gracefully against the paper, his handwriting is sharp yet curved at the end of each stroke; each letter having a perfect gap against one another. You believed you can learn a million things about someone based on their penmanship, and Katsuki’s was assertive yet mellow.

You slowly eat slices of the pork and rice as Katsuki leans over to show you what he’s written. “I made a list for us of chores and fun things we can do together for the next couple days.”

You glimpse through the bullet points. It consisted of laundry, dishes, mopping, watch movies, cooking a meal together or take out, eating outside and more.

Your heart swells.

Your lips form a small grin as you finish reading through the more fun activities with sprinkled chores he wrote down. However, doing anything with Katsuki, even if it was watching paint dry, there was never a dull moment. He wasn’t the type to be outwardly goofy but was always able to make you laugh just from a few words of his dry humor.

Katsuki fights a smile as he watches your reaction. His soul hopes you can see the effort he makes as someone who loves you unconditionally. Depression in his household as a child was not depression, it was being ungrateful, selfish, and laziness. He refuses to let the cycle continue; he understands the push and pull of your pain.

There were thousands that counted on him but you were always the one that came first.

“Y’know,” he continues. “Even if we do half of one thing in a day on this list, it’s still enough isn’t it?”

Tears of merriment are quickly pushed back. You didn’t want to start crying, instead quickly noding; consuming another slab of rice to your mouth in distraction.

You wondered what selfless deeds you achieved in your past life to afford someone who without a second thought stands by your side as he has.

As he continues to write, he leans to you with a gaping mouth, cutely signaling to feed him a little. You laugh putting a little rice on your half eaten spam, pushing it into his mouth.

Katsuki finishes whatever you had left and picks up the tray, stopping by the doorway. “There’s some more things I wrote on the back of the notepad, you should read it.”

You glance up at him. His eyes lock to yours with a soft gleam of nurture targeted to your lying figure before he leaves to wash the dishes.

Grabbing the paper, you flip to the back of the page.

There are no bullet points, just neat penmanship with your name written on it softly with care.

‘Every morning I wake up, the first thing on my mind is to see your beautiful face, to cherish your whole being and never wanting more than you to wake up and look back at me. There isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t do to be by your side. You’ve always been more than enough and it’s time for me to take care of you. Every moment you open your gorgeous eyes is enough for the day. Let’s take care of one another; even if you feel low or can’t find the strength to, I’ll always have enough to carry the both of us.’

-Katsuki

Hope u guys liked this one it was pretty hard to write how i envisioned

Geto and gojo x reader coming soon ;) and dabi eventually ok bye bye luv u

Please like, follow and reblog ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄

[entishramblings]

Fuck the Forbidden Pt. 2

[Boromir/F!MermaidReader]

PART 1 | PART 3 — coming soon

Fuck the Forbidden: FTF LINK MASTERLIST

A.N: my apologies for taking so much time to update: graduate school is a tornado, plus getting sick and the craziness of holidays season didn’t help. Anyways, thank you for your patience and your continuous support! I literally read all your comment in order to inspire me to write again!

Request: none

Pairing: Boromir X Fem!MermaidReader

Summary: The Reader is a Mermaid and witnessed a shipwreck. She becomes interested in human life—particularly one human: Boromir.

Disclaimer: Any mythology relating to the mermaids of middle earth is not canon. also I tried my best with arda water/river geography plz don’t come at me—it’s not one of my finer subjects :/

Word Count: 5.7k — listen, yes, I STILL have a problem

Warnings: depression, drowning, ptsd, alcoholism, angst, comfort, fluff, stalking (idk how to make that last one sound less creepy. you’re just gonna have to read it).

MASTERLIST | AO3 | WATTPAD

The following day, (Y/N) waited in the depths of the Anduin River by the entrance of the Minas Tirith castle. Sure enough, the captain, decorated in silver, came out upon his steed. Though he did not have the cheer he normally held—despite his recent struggles—he seemed….different. (Y/N) had hoped that he didn't remember what he saw under the lake. Maybe he figured he was too drunk and his mind was playing tricks on him? Maybe he would forget it all together? However, that fearful look in his eyes when he glanced at the river told her otherwise. It appeared Faramir failed to convince his brother that the mer-folk were just a myth.

Boromir deviated from his routine as well. He did not go to the market for the breakfast that he seemed to love. No, no. Instead he went out towards the edge of the city–towards the docks. And (Y/N) went with him. He passed his horse off to another and walked upon the wood, passing ship and boat, until he came upon a small fishing vessel. (Y/N) swam around it and took to the surface upon its side, far enough to not be spotted, but close enough to see and hear.

“Iwar,” Boromir called out. “You there?”

“Oi!” the old man replied, emerging from the sails. “What can I do for yer?”

“You have a moment?”

“For ye? Of course I do, lad. What is this about?” Iwar stated, squinting in the sun.

Boromir huffed, and pulled something from his pocket. He lightly tossed it to the older fellow. “What do you make of this?”

Iwar frowned, holding the whale up before his face by the string Boromir had used to make it into a necklace. “Where’d ye get it?”

“In a pond. One that connects to the Anduin River.”

Iwar sent him a strange look. “Do ye know what this is made out of?”

Boromir shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s bone, Boromir,” he replied tentatively.

At this, the captain’s lips parted. “Bone?”

Iwar tossed the whale carving back to him. “Aye, couldn't tell ye what it came from. Whittled too much away for that. Ye said yer got it from a pond?”

He nodded, swallowing dryly.

“Could’ve washed up from the currents.” Iwar stated, nonchalantly, returning to the tasks of his sail. “Some trinket someone lost to the sea.”

Boromir dipped his head, his anxiety present as he fiddled with the whale.

Iwar glanced at him. “Something else, boy?”

Boromir inhaled slowly. “Iwar, do you–do you really believe those tales of the sea-folk?”

The old man sent a weary look at the captain as he tied off one of the ropes upon the fabric. “Aye. Saw one of em’ when I was just a lad. Nearly lost my life.”

Boromir focused his gaze upon Iwar. “I think–I think I saw one last night.”

At this, the older man froze. Slowly, he turned his full attention to the captain, dread slipping from his face.

Still, Boromir continued, trying to justify his sighting. ‘Though, I don't know. I was very drunk. Had a couple ales too many. My mind could’ve—”

“You were out on the sea last night?” Iwar interrupted, confused.

Boromir shook his head.

“The shore then? Never heard of em’ venturing so close.”

Boromir released a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “I, uh, I was in the pond by the Minas Tirith castle.”

Iwar’s form stiffened as he walked toward the captain. He nodded at the bone carving in Boromir’s hand as he spoke in a tone that held so much anxiety that it radiated through the air around him. “The same pond where ye found that?”

“Yes.”

Iwar’s eyes widened wildly. “I’d tell ye what, lad. Ye have been marked by em.’ And that—” he dipped his head at the whale once more. “—I reckon that's human bone.”

Blood drained from Boromir’s face, replaced with sheer panic. His fingers clumsily grappled with the carving, uncertain of how to handle it. Reluctant to make direct contact, he hesitated before settling on gripping the string, allowing the whale to dangle. Disgust etched across his brow.

“I’d get out while ye can. Stay away from the sea waters, boy.” Iwar warned.

….

That night, Boromir didn't go to the pool of water by the white walls—nor the following night. He, quite frankly, didn't go near the water at all. He stayed far from the beaches and from the Anduin River. He took longer paths to where he needed to go in order to avoid such circumstances that put him near what Iwar had described to live in the sea.

And this—all this broke (Y/N)’s heart. It stirred up a tumult of emotions—sadness, anger, fear, and frustration. Therefore, on the third day, she sought solace in a secluded nook along the Bay of Belfas. Hoisting herself onto a warm rock, she sat, enveloped in her misery. Her once-vivid fantasies of the land-people and Boromir now dissolved into sorrow and regret. What lingered was the haunting image of Boromir's disdainful expression when Iwar speculated that her gift was crafted from human bone. Any mer-folk would be delighted to receive such a heartfelt gesture! But Boromir wasn't of the sea, now was he.

(Y/N) stayed upon the rock for hours, hoping the sun would soak up her melancholy mood. However, that is not what the golden beams absorbed. Her skin dried, her hair lightened and billowed freely, and the scales on her tail lacked the moisture they once held. It was at that moment discomfort struck. Excruciating, searing pain surged through her tail, a relentless agony that prompted a deep cry from her lips. Every nerve seemed to flare with an intense, burning sensation, rendering her nearly paralyzed by the sheer intensity of the pain. She couldn't move, only shake and claw at the rock she perched upon. It felt like hours as she laid there, praying to the gods to make it end. And when it did, she instinctively reached for her scales. However, to her surprise, her hand met no such thing; instead, flesh had replaced the once-familiar tail.

(Y/N) gasped.

Her father had said…

He had tested them all…

None had the gift….

He lied.

Emotions swirled around her naked form as she stared at the strange extension that replaced her glimmering scales—legs. Anger, irritation, sadness, regret, frustration, excitement all ran through her blood.

Slowly, she stood. As she took a wobbly step upon the rock, a loud, breathy giggle escaped her lips.

Was this a dream?

(Y/N) took another uncertain step, and another, and another—until she stumbled, her hand reaching out to break her fall. However, a splash came from that, for her palm struck where water had gathered in a dip upon the rock.

Immediately, she felt it.

Her skin tingled, then burned and stung, stretching and pulling in a painful dance. (Y/N) cried out as the pain intensified. With scales attempting to form on her dry legs, the tugging became excruciating once more—tears streamed from her eyes as she desperately scrambled towards the water.

Her form slipped and rolled, right off the rock and into the ocean.

Immediate relief enveloped her. Scales continued to knit together without a hint of pain. The water soothed her. It coated the soreness into nonexistence.

(Y/N) allowed her form to sink, adjusting.

There she floated, letting her body and mind adjust to what had just happened.

It was then when one of the turmoiling emotions overtook the rest of them. It coursed through her gills and surged through her veins.

How dare he…

With a decisive flick of her tail, she propelled herself toward her father's palace.

The anger granted her remarkable speed, causing other merfolk to whip their heads around in confusion as she barreled past them.

She swam directly to the grand chamber, where she anticipated her father perched upon his throne, and busted the door open with her tail.

“HOW DARE YOU?!” she screamed at him.

Heads turned instantly—her father’s, her sisters’, the guards’.

“HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME, FATHER. HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME I HAD THE GIFT?!”

Her father rose, signaling the guards to leave. They swam away quickly, avoiding the impending wrath of the sea's king and his children.

“You lied straight to my face,” (Y/N) stated.

“(Y/N), what are you talking about?” Anahita interjected, appalled by her sister’s tone.

Mareena added to her statement. “That is no way to speak to our father!”

(Y/N)'s tail flicked with irritation as she focused her gaze on the man before her. “I have the gift to walk among the land-folk.”

Una gasped. Seria’s mouth dropped open. Rana’s eyes widened. Nerida’s brows shot upwards.

Their father swam towards (Y/N). “You went to the land?!” he growled. “It is forbidden.”

“I DID NOT GO ONTO THE LAND!” She snapped back. Taking a deep breath, she spoke again. “I was letting the sun warm me upon a rock when it happened—the tingling, the splitting, the pain.”

“You went to the surface—”

“How dare you not tell me, Father!”

“I DID NOT TELL YOU BECAUSE OF THIS!” He yelled. “Because I knew the minute you would figure it out, you would want to test out your new form. You would put us all in danger.”

“YOU HAVE PUT ME IN DANGER. YOU HAVE MASKED YOUR PROTECTION IN LIES THAT HAVE ONLY CAUSED ME PAIN. HOW DARE YOU!” (Y/N) retorted.

With that, (Y/N) swam away. She twisted through the reefs and the grass. She slipped through the schools of fish and their bubbles. She slithered through the rocks and caves. She did so until she was back in the Anduin River, where the lively markets and the hustle of people's households awaited. Breaking through the water's surface, she emerged with a cautious awareness, ensuring she remained unseen.

She swam along the edge until she came upon a line of clothing strung between two buildings. On it hung sheets as bright as a lemonpeel angelfish, a skirt holding the vibrance of an orange clownfish, a flowing wrap the hue of a blue tang fish, a pair of trousers the color of a brown leafy sea dragon, a top shaded like that of a pink fairy wrasse, and a flowing dress the cream color of a stingray’s belly.

(Y/N) looked at her surroundings.

The people were on the other side of the clothing line—all mucking about in the market. None even bothered to shed a glance behind the fabric. All were too busy going about their day.

Therefore, with little regard for the forbidden nature of her actions—because, really, fuck the forbidden—(Y/N) decided to defy the rules that had once controlled her life.

Originally, she hadn't intended to act in such defiance, but the anger coursing through her veins urged her forward into impulsive urges.

Hauling her form out of the water, (Y/N) manipulated the water clinging to her, using her fingers in twisting and rippling motions. She gathered the liquid into a cohesive ball and, with a flick of her wrist, sent the sphere dancing through the air before it plopped back into the river.

The tingling sensation began, followed by the excruciating pain, and soon enough, the transformation into legs commenced.

Anxiously, (Y/N) stood. Her shaky legs wobbled as she adjusted to their unfamiliar form. Her trembling fingers swiftly seized the cream colored dress—she didn't want to stand out, she needed to blend in—and she clumsily slipped it on. Her gaze then fixated on a brilliant blue wrap. The color resonated with the deep seas she hailed from, and she couldn't resist. The mermaid grasped the silk and yanked, winding it around her hair in a manner she had observed from land women when peeking from the river. Letting some of her locks cascade out of the twisted band, the blue fabric draped over her shoulders. She smiled.

Her hand instinctively rose to her neck, where her necklace adorned with shells, sea glass, and bones encircled her skin. A frown crossed her face. She couldn't part with it—this cherished gift from her since passed mother. Therefore, she let it remain, finding that it didn't look too out of place.

(Y/N) ventured into the market, nervously navigating the bustling city of Minas Tirith with her new, wobbly legs. The vibrant atmosphere teemed with life and excitement as diverse groups came together to weave the people into the human race. So many men, women, and children—all different sizes, all different shapes, all different skin tones—bustled through the streets.

Young children ran through the tents playing games and tricks on one another. Often enough, a woman was pursuing the chase while yelling for their halt of mischief. Men were not involved in this matter. Instead, they loudly called out the names of what they sold, along with prices, at the busy passerbyers in hopes of getting a customer. Never had (Y/N) seen something so brilliantly enthralling and engaging—not in her time under the sea with the mer-folk.

As she moved through the people, she discreetly snagged what she needed. A pair of sandals disappeared from a rack, and she swiftly turned away before anyone noticed. Vibrantly colored bracelets caught her eye at a vendor's stall, and she couldn't resist snagging a few. Additionally, she plucked food from bins and baskets. She didn't know what it was—but oh how delicious it tasted when it was not dunked in the salt of the sea.

Here, (Y/N) stayed, exploring the thrill of humanity and letting their culture enrapture her senses. So much so, that she failed to notice a soldier adorned in silver until she collided with his metal-plated chest.

Her form tumbled backwards, taking an extra moment to steady.

“Are you alright, miss?” a concerned voice inquired.

(Y/N) slowly raised her head to meet a familiar face: Faramir.

Unable to find her voice, she could only nod in reply. Shyness and anxiety filled her as she backed away from the unexpected encounter.

He acknowledged her reply with a dip of his own head before turning to another soldier a little ways away. He made way towards him and gently touched his arm. “Boromir, we should get going. Father is expecting us.”

(Y/N) went still. Her inquisitive gaze shifted towards him, and indeed, there stood Boromir. His dark, sandy hair brushed upon his forehead, tousled slightly from the refreshing breeze. Vibrant blue eyes held a sternness, concealing the sadness she knew resided in his heart. His pink lips pressed into a firm line, refraining from the warmth of a smile. Boromir was clad in the silver armor and the metal weapons that she had seen him in nearly every day. He looked fit for his position as captain, his authority nearly radiating from him. Now that she was upon the land, he seemed so much bigger—so much stronger. So much more important.

(Y/N)’s cheeks began to heat, prompting her to quickly ducked behind the fabric of a tent. After giving herself a moment, she peaked out.

Though she knew she shouldn't, she found herself following them. At a safe distance, she mimicked every turn, accentuated every step, and utilized every path they took. And when the Steward's sons crossed the threshold of Minas Tirith Castle, so did she.

Instantly, she was met with just as much business as the market. Servants flooded the halls, carrying trays of fruit and platters of meat. Maids held onto neatly folded laundry and finely pressed sheets. Guards bustled about, their steel clanking as they moved through the halls, to get to their next shift, meal, or rest.

(Y/N) was so overwhelmed that she failed to notice a group of soldiers rounding the corner. As they pushed past her, a heavy shoulder slammed into her, the edge of the metal plate catching her forehead. The impact sliced the skin open, causing her to tumble backward against the wall.

Surprising her, she felt a gentle hand upon her arm, holding her steady. A soft voice that she knew all too well, that spoke words all too similar to his brother’s, filled her ears. “Are you alright, miss?”

In a daze, (Y/N) looked up at the dark sandy hair, vibrant blue eyes, and perfect pink lips of Boromir. Too stunned to speak, she merely stared at him, every thought that had occupied her mind vanishing in the moment.

Boromir turned towards the group of soldiers who had caused the commotion and knocked her down. With a tone infused with authority and anger, he snapped at them, “Watch where you are going!”

They turned, initially confused and uncertain of Boromir's reprimand until they spotted the frightened and injured girl beside him.

“What kind of soldiers are you that you let your steel hit a woman!” Boromir added, his irritation even more obvious. “Keep better track of your things—and your forms!”

The soldiers nodded, though their indifference was evident, and they shuffled away without much concern.

Boromir turned back to (Y/N), repeating his prior question, his tone gentle once more. “I apologize for the actions of my men. I will reprimand them later, but right now you are more important, yes? Miss?”

She looked up at him, blinking. He didn’t recognize her, did he?

“You’re bleeding,” he stated softly, his finger pressed gently upon her forehead.

A quiet gasp of pain escaped (Y/N)’s lips and her expressions distorted slightly.

“My apologies. I did not mean to make your pain worse. May I take you to the infirmary? We can get that treated.”

Unsure what to say—and what an infirmary was—she nervously dipped her head.

“Alright,” he began. “Let’s get you moving.”

Gently, he helped her move away from the wall, one arm wrapped around her waist. However, with a couple steps, her vision swirled and she stumbled.

Boromir caught her quickly. “Whoa, whoa. Slow down. Just a step at a time.” His brows pulled together as he looked down at her. “Are you dizzy? Is the room spinning?”

“I—I,” she stuttered. “Y-yes, uh, sir.”

He released a heated breath from his nose, the anger at the men who had harmed her simmering within him. However, he pushed it away, ensuring his attention remained on her. "How about you sit back down? Lean against the wall to keep you upright, yes?"

(Y/N) nodded, allowing him to help lower her to the stone floor. As the coldness rushed through her bones and the stillness began to steady, she looked up at him. “T-thank you,” she whispered. “Uh, sir.”

The captain smiled softly. “You may call me Boromir.”

She nodded slightly.

Boromir looked up and stopped a passing servant. “Could you please fetch me a medical kit from the infirmary? Just basic supplies.”

The man nodded, accepting the order, and rushed off. Moments later, he returned with various materials in a small box.

Boromir expressed his gratitude as he opened the kit. Without hesitation, he took hold of a soft cloth and gently swiped it upwards, collecting the blood that was now trickling down (Y/N)’s forehead. He then pressed it against the cut that was bleeding rather heavily. "Hold this there," he commanded gently.

The woman reached up to follow his instructions, and Boromir proceeded to lay out an array of little bottles and scraps of cloth. "What is your name?" he inquired as he doused a cloth in the liquids of one of the containers.

Her eyes followed his motions nervously. “(Y/N),” she replied timidly.

The Captain smiled, attempting to provide some comfort. “Are you from around here, (Y/N)?”

She shook her head.

“No? What are you doing in these parts then?” He asked.

“I—I don’t know.”

Boromir frowned, looking up at her from the medical supplies. She appeared more disoriented than he had initially expected. Perhaps the blow to the head was more substantial than he had thought?

“You don’t know?” He questioned, no alarm in his tone. Meanwhile, he began threading a needle, preparing it for the task of stitching her forehead. “Have you come with anyone? A husband? A father?”

She frowned, a blush creeping into her face at the implications of his words. “N-no. Alone.”

Boromir pressed his lips together, a sudden loneliness hitting him—one that he knew all too well—as he placed the threaded needle upon a clean cloth.

“Do you have a place to stay?”

She shook her head.

“Hmm. Alright. Let’s get you cleaned up, then we can worry about that.”

Boromir took the cloth from her forehead, his hand brushing upon hers as he did so. He then began bringing a damp cloth towards her face.

Instantly, her eyes went wide and she ducked away from the material. “It’s alright. It’s alright. It’s just alcohol.” He replied, lowering the cloth.

“N-not water?” She whispered, almost fearful.

He shook his head. “Nay. Water would not clean it properly. This will prevent any infection, though I’m afraid it will sting a bit. Is that alright?”

Slowly, (Y/N) nodded.

Boromir pressed the cloth to the cut and, instantly, she hissed.

“I know, I am sorry,” he murmured.

Gently, he cleaned the wound, being careful to not make any sudden movements that may startle her. When he was certain it was clean, he moved to pick up the needle.

“I will have to stitch it back together so it heals properly.” He looked into her worried gaze and he instantly felt guilt tugging at his heart. It appeared she had never experienced such an injury, or perhaps she had but never received proper treatment for one.

Cautiously, he used his other hand to pick up her own. Her soft palms brushed upon his hardened calloused, gentleness upon her touch. Placing her hand upon his knee, he spoke softly, “If it hurts too much just squeeze really really hard, and I will pause, alright? It is important that you keep your head still, yes?”

She nodded, adjusting her grip upon his knee, a mixture of anticipation and anxiety in her eyes.

Slowly, Boromir began the delicate task of stitching her skin back together. Her grip tightened upon him, only slightly, as she adjusted to the strange sensation of tugging on her skin.

"You are doing beautifully, (Y/N). We are almost done. I promise," the Captain reassured her. As he finished the last stitch and skillfully moved the thread to knot itself, he breathed out, "There we go," placing the needle back upon the cloth. He smiled gently, a reassuring warmth in his eyes, as he carefully cleaned the area around the stitches. "All finished," Boromir stated before leaning back, (Y/N)’s hand slipping from his knee.

“It will be sore for a bit,” he said. “But it should heal in a week. The stitching will fall out on its own, so if it starts to come out, do not worry. Though, I would advise you not to get it wet.”

At that last sentence, (Y/N) smiled softly. She wasn’t planning on getting wet—not anytime soon.

“Can you stand? Has the dizziness subsided?”

The woman nodded and slowly rose to her feet, taking Boromir’s hand when he offered it.

“Let’s find you a place to rest while you heal. And I would like to apologize for my soldiers’ actions once more. You are welcome to stay in Minas Tirith as long as you would like. I will make sure you get everything you need.”

(Y/N) looked up at his kind expression and spoke with that same nervous hesitancy. “Thank you.…Boromir.”

The captain guided her through the castle, arriving at a room. He opened the door and gestured inside with a soft smile. "It is yours to stay in. I will ensure the maids are alerted to provide you with adequate care. If you need anything else, my chambers are just down the hallway to the right, the second door."

She nodded in reply.

He bowed his head. “I will leave you then, miss.”

With that, he was gone.

(Y/N) moved to the center of the room and slowly spun around taking it all in. It was massive and airy. The windows were wind open, the sea breeze rushing in and caring hints of the city. The white curtains blew with that gentle wind, dancing in its whispers. The walls of the chamber were adorned with intricate tapestries depicting only what she could assume to be the legendary tales of the city. They were woven with beautiful silver and turquoise thread, catching the light so delicately. A bed sat in the middle of the room, soft white blankets and comforters piled on it. (Y/N) walked towards it and gently sat upon the fabric. It was….strange. Very different from the large shells she was used to curling up in.

Feeling a sudden tiredness take over her form, she laid down with ease. Resting her head upon the pillow, she allowed sleep to consume her.

…….

When she finally woke, the sun had set, and the stars took their place among the blanket of the sky. Cautiously, she pulled her legs from the cage of blankets and let them dangle off the side of the bed. They looked so….strange upon her form. She was used to her glimmering tail that collected light to share among the waters. Not—not this. She lowered her feet upon the stone floor, almost startled by the coldness that greeted them.

Hunger settled into her stomach as she moved towards the door. However, she found herself at a loss, unsure where to find a meal at this time. The markets were long since closed and she knew not where the kitchen in the Minas Tirith castle was. Of course, she could wander down to the tavern that Boromir frequented regularly—she knew the way well enough, but she didn't have any means to pay.

(Y/N) shifted on her feet. Boromir did say she could come to him if she needed anything….

Almost as if it were an excuse to see him again, she slipped through the door and began following his directions to his chambers. With every step, her heart pounded harder. She would get to see him again—and it wouldn't be through layers of water.

Upon arrival, the door stood ajar, allowing a whisper of cold air to drift from his open windows. Cautiously, she peered into the room. It was shrouded in darkness, with only the soft glow of the moon reflecting upon the vast room—oh, and what a beautiful room it was. The room eluded a captivating chaos, in the most exciting way. Tablets and shelves were filled with various items—maps, books, stones, germs, inventions, and trinkets. The room held a multitude of objects, each beckoning to be looked at, studied, and pondered—igniting a sense of wonder and an urge to guess the intention. Oh, it was a captivating sight.

“Boromir?” she called out.

Silence.

Slowly, (Y/N) stepped in. She let her feet carry her throughout the room, her hand brushing upon every object that her eyes could consume. She picked things up, examined them, then put them down for another. She did so continuously, urgently, the thirst for knowledge of the humans’ customs eager in her blood. She did so, until she came across something familiar—something she was surprised to see.

(Y/N) picked up the bone carved whale from the shelf that it rested on.

He had kept it.

A little grin formed on her face, for after his conversation with Iwar she didn’t think he would.

“Does that one interest you?” A soft tone asked.

(Y/N) jumped, startled.

Boromir chuckled lightly, stepping into the room. “I am sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.”

She glanced down at the whale carving before looking back to him.

“I am not quite sure how that one came into my possession,” he continued as he moved to stand beside her.

She frowned, looking up. Her eyes were now direct at him, focused and stern—for the first time since he had met her. He would be lying if he said it didn't startle him a bit.

“You don't remember?” she asked, her tone strong.

“Well, no it’s not that. Of course, I remember how I got it. It just was a bit peculiar.”

(Y/N) tilted her head, not understanding.

Boromir sighed, his tone was distant as he spoke, his blue gaze not wavering from her curious eyes that suddenly seemed so bold. “A friend of mine says it's a dark omen, ment to mark me for death.” His vision trailed across her face. “He says it is made of the bone of my fallen brothers, urging me to follow them to their deaths.”

“Do you believe that?”

He blinked, his gaze lingering upon the whale. “I do not know what to believe.” Boromir looked at her expression. “What are your thoughts on such a statement?”

(Y/N) shrugged, placing the whale in its spot upon the shelf. “I believe people don’t understand other cultures and customs. I believe they make their own assumptions out of ignorance and fear.”

The captain raised a brow at her intelligence. “You are feeling better then?”

“Hmm?” (Y/N) hummed in question as she moved to another object.

“Well, that is the most I have heard you speak since I met you. You are wiser than you appear to be.”

She only shrugged in response, picking up a telescope and looking through its glass—by the wrong end.

“Though,” Boromir continued in a teasing manner as he plucked the object from her grasp, turned it the correct way, and placed it back in her palms. “That wisdom seems not to extend to everything.”

She frowned, looking through the glass once before placing it down. She then went for a music box, her confused expression deepening. “We do not have all these….these things where I am from.”

Boromir reached across her and twisted the little lever, releasing the gentle music from its hold. “And where is that, may I ask?”

At the twinkling sound, her smile, born of pure delight, extended from her expression. Her response to his question, however, was only that of a simple word, “Far.”

The captain raised a brow. “How far?”

(Y/N) shot him a strange look, placing the music box down and picking up a crystal sphere instead. “You ask a lot of questions,” she mumbled.

He grinned playfully. “You do not seem to give many answers, Miss (Y/N).”

She glared at him.

With that playful smile, he spoke again. “Would it help if you got to ask a question?”

(Y/N)‘s eyes crinkled with thought as she placed the object down and turned towards him. She saw how his shoulders slumped ever so slightly, how the circles under his eyes appeared so dark, how his expression was so hollow. Softly, she spoke again. “Why are you so sad, Boromir?”

Taken aback by this, his lips parted. “I—I do not know what you mean.”

She took a step closer to him, a step that nearly eliminated the space between them, and her piercing gaze burned up at him for the truth.

Hesitantly, he whispered that truth, as if she compelled it right out of him. “I—I recently was in a shipwreck. I thought, well, I thought I was dead—left for the watery graves below.” He paused, just for a moment. “But yet I am here and I do not know why. And, I am beginning to question things that I know, well, thought I knew, for the world appears different now.”

Silence.

Boromir's soft voice then picked up again, his breath warm upon the woman’s face. “Why are you so sad, (Y/N)?”

At this, her shy nature returned. (Y/N) turned her head away, not wanting to look at the source of her sadness.

Gently, Boromir tugged on her chin, forcing her to look at him. “You implored me to tell you such a truth,” he whispered. “May I not ask the same of you?”

(Y/N)’s tone was soft. “My truth is complicated.”

“Are not all truths complicated?” he responded.

With that, she withdrew from his grasp—a hold she desperately craved—and created enough distance between them, leaving him to wonder if such closeness had occurred at all.

A loud grumble then echoed through the dark room—splitting the darkness with something else, something much for lighthearted.

“When have you last eaten?” Boromir asked.

Her brows pulled together as she looked at her stomach.

He chuckled, offering her his hand. “Come. Let’s get you some food. I can take you to my favorite place.”

“But I—I have no coin,” she whispered shyly.

“You are a guest of Gondor, Gondor will see you fed.”

(Y/N) smiled, that innocent gaze returning. She hesitantly took his hand and he led her through the castle and towards the tavern.

The two arrived at the tavern rather quickly. Urine, stale ale, and sweat flooded (Y/N)’s nostrils—familiar aromas reminiscent of her vigilant watch over Boromir along the Anduin River. The lively atmosphere enveloped the pair. In the corner, a bard sang to the patrons, his melodic voice resonating throughout, enticing some to join in. Drunk men, tapping their feet along to the beat of the tune, howled in laughter and glee as they clinked their ales together and shoveled food into their mouths. Requests for additional drinks prompted maidens, adorned in long skirts and aprons, to gracefully deliver brimming glasses, the foaming liquid sloshing about.

(Y/N) smiled, taking in the environment.

Boromir cast a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “It’s just a tavern.”

She turned to him, her grin unwavering. “We don’t have taverns where I am from.”

He raised a brow. “And where is that? You never said.”

She shrugged. “Far.”

(Y/N) moved deeper into the tavern, with Boromir following suit. He motioned towards an available table, and they both took a seat. Before long, a serving maiden approached. Boromir signaled for two meals and two ales, and they promptly arrived.

The woman wasted no time and eagerly indulged in her food, swiftly emptying the plate.

Boromir tried to suppress a smile as he saw this, for he was glad she was getting proper nutrition after her likely long and hard journey. He, of course, wished to know more of her origins; though, he could see she wasn't quite ready to discuss such things. Instead, he opted to answer any and all questions she had which began with her curious tone.

“Boromir, would you be willing to tell me of your city? How you live in these parts? I wish to know.”

His soft gaze made contact with hers and he nodded, chewing his food and swallowing before he spoke. “What would you wish to know?”

“Everything—its structures, its people, its culture, its history.”

Therefore, Boromir spoke of such things. He described the White City's towering architecture, the valor of its people, and the complexities of the various beliefs held. He relayed its history and tales, showcasing the values of the Gondorian people.

His narratives ignited a spark in her eyes, drew laughter from her lips, and filled her heart with joy.

Fuck the forbidden indeed.

As the hours stretched on, Boromir’s friends joined them. (Y/N) could see the gleam in their eyes and catch the less-than-subtle teasing tones as they whispered about Boromir bringing a lady to their tavern. Faramir, arriving shortly after, seemed prepared for a night of dealing with his drunken brother, only to find himself pleasantly surprised by his brother's apparent sobriety and the joy the unknown woman seemed to bring to his melancholy soul.

Yet, amid the cheerful atmosphere, a pair of shifting gray eyes belonging to an old man that (Y/N) recognized as Iwar, kept her uneasy heart alert.

…..

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[nokiatelava]

✿✿After The Storm✿✿

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Author’s Note!- This is my first time writing a story and even think about posting it! Please understand that it might not be the best as I am still trying! (the warnings probably don’t even make sense)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Summary- The past few months of your life have been at the lowest they’ve ever been. Feeling lost, with the thought no one was really there for you drove you mad, causing you to distance yourself from your family. The ones you love. But they came to your rescue to comfort you through your hardships.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Warnings- mentions of depression, mentions of anxiety, mentions of wanting to self-inflict pain, begging (for her life), nightmares, wannabe angst, comfort (my heart is to sensitive)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧❁❁❁❁‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

You don’t know why you feel like this. The feeling it’s, it’s hard to describe. You’re here, you feel yourself here, you know you are here.

But you feel so far away… You feel, numb and lost.

All you felt was confusion, never knowing where anything was, what was going on. You were a mess 24/7. It made you feel useless. You were never used to feeling so gone. Having these feelings caused thoughts that made you feel worse. More insecure.

These thoughts were getting in the way of your life. How could you feel so useless although you had things to do? You had people to take care of, your family.

You had a place in your family, in the clan. You had a role, so how did you still feel so useless? You were losing your focus during the day. Your nights were shortening day by day. The thoughts would seep into your brain, picking at the deepest parts of your memories.

The few minutes of sleep you had were filled with terror. The things you saw, the scenes that played out. Memories from war, exaggerated to points of alternate endings, pain, family, it was always slipping in your ‘dreams’. The subjects left you with your eyes wide open at night. Looking, watching, protecting your family at hours where your family was supposed to relax and let the stress of the days fade away.

Though for you it felt as if the stress was increasing. You watched them, looking at their sleeping peaceful faces for hours, recognizing their breathing patterns as ‘safety precautions’. An excuse you used to reassure yourself as not being creepy.

You were the oldest. The oldest sister. The first child. The first baby. You were born to protect.

Deep in your mind you knew you only watched them because you wanted them to be safe. Sleeping makes you vulnerable, you have to be aware of your surroundings at all times.

Hm. Those words sound so… familiar.

“Don’t be vulnerable, at all. Keep your eyes open, and be aware of your surroundings at all times.”

And there you were. Y/n Sully, at the ripe age of 14, sitting in a war meeting listening to your fathers plan and motivational speech right before a raid.

It was terrifying. Hearing all these big words, half you didn’t understand, half you knew you could not pronounce after hearing it once even if you tried.

It made you nervous, the scenarios your father was describing were all gruesome, supposed outcomes that would happen if something were to go wrong.

Your father, Jake Sully, was talking at a pace that was hard to catch up with, the words flowing out his mouth so simply it confused you.

Now it was hitting you, your body started to feel all hot and bothered, squirming lightly in your seat to make it look as if you were only adjusting yourself comfortably on the thick wooden chair.

You squinted your eyes, staring deeply at your fathers mouth to see if any of the words would somehow start to flow together correctly.

But they didn’t. They never did.

Your vision started to double now, your ears muffling out as a ringing started to settle in your ears. All you could see was your fathers mouth just moving, and moving, and moving.

A small gasp rang in the air of the hut. It was quiet, the only sounds being a few small snores and shuffling from limb twitches every few seconds.

Your eyes were now open, once again. Your eyes could now only look around at the ceiling of your hut. Your ears twitching to every sound that was produced.

That dream… It was somewhat normal tonight? Although it did get you a bit nervous and quite overstimulated, you thought more about it. That happened 3 years ago. 3 years ago you were only 14, just 14 but already experiencing the world of war, and of danger.

Now you were 17. What a big number..

14 and 17, they sound so different it looks like such a big gap, but they’re not. Just three years ago being 14 you would still be counted as a baby not a teenager.

But now since you are to say you are 17, people see you as an adult, someone who is of age and needs adult duties. Oh how you wished to 14 or younger again.

To relish in the way people still treated you like a child and called you baby.

A loud snore is heard to your left, you are suddenly out of this type of trance. And realize you sat up, ignoring that, you turn your head to look to your left.

Just to see nobody but the All Mighty Lo’ak, spread eagle with his mouth wide open. Light gurgles, groans and snores are all that is heard from his open mouth.

You smile warmly at your youngest brothers antics, remembering what it was like to sleep so long at night.

Now your eyes burn, irritated, red and itchy all day long from your lack of sleep. Moving your eyes to look around caused your sockets to ache.

Thin, bright red veins crawl around your sclera. You thought at one point your thick lashes covered them up fine when all of this started happening.

But your inflamed eyes stood out like sore thumbs. You gained deep, dark circles right below your eyes that didn’t help you with your lashes “cover up”.

The people around you, your family, all noticed. Of course they did, how could they not? They see you everyday, they see your face everyday. So it was only a matter of time wasn’t it?

When all of, this, first started with you, everyone was worried. Your silence.. Was almost sickening. They weren’t used to it, you being so quiet, when most of the time they would all be able to hear your voice in the background.

Whether you were talking to someone in the hut, or yourself, which they found so normal. But when you stopped talking to them and yourself..

All they could feel was stress settle into their bones, the stress caused anxiety filled thoughts to meddle into their heads about you.

The constant ‘are you okay’s?’, being asked so much more frequently than before started to annoy you.

You loved your family. You loved them so, so much. But when they would ask you that same question over and over and over again it made you feel… nervous?

It always felt like as if you couldn’t speak. Your tongue feels 10 tons of lead as you open your mouth to speak. Your throat feels as if there was needles poking in your esophagus anytime you took a breathe to start speaking.

Your body felt like it was eating away at its self from the inside to out. It felt like a void, a black hole was setting in your body and was slowly starting to expand before it would eventually, swallow you whole.

There was another shuffle from the bed rolls placed in the hut. It sounded closer and much more, eager?

Y/n’s head turned to her right quickly, seeing her fathers silhouette start to sit up. Her eyes widened as she quickly laid herself down, closing her burning eyes and slowing her breathing.

She’s gotten away with this before, she’s the best pretend sleeper there is. She heard her father groan as he stretched and yawned, and that’s when it hit her.

The sounds of the birds and different animals chirping out sounded in the distance. Y/n’s eyes widened once more.

‘Just how long had she been awake?’

She closed her eyes, hoping for some type of miracle of sleep to take her into slumber. But of course, it never happened.

She heard the process of her father getting up, then, he gently shook her mother awake. Both of them exchanging a morning kiss that was very audible.

‘Gross.’

That’s the last thing she wanted to hear. We’ll sort of, it could have been worse.

But, in a reformed order, she waited for the dawn chorus to get more of a melody before she “woke up”, which was when she always woke up in the morning.

As the creatures sang and chirped louder, Y/n shuffled on her sleeping mat, rising slowly while rubbing her eyes and yawning. Jake and Neytiri smiled towards her.

“Good morning babygirl.” Jake said as he rose out of his mat stiffly, waddling towards Y/n to give her a kiss on her forehead.

“G’morning dad.” Y/n was able to force a raspy voice to submerge herself more into the act that she “just woke up”. “Good morning ma’ite” Neytiri’s sultry voice spoke towards Y/n.

Y/n looked towards her mother, “Good morning mama.” Y/n said with a small smile. Her parents soft words made her feel like a little kid again, remembering when they lived high in the trees deep into the forest of Pandora. Small tears brewed in the corner of her eyes before she blinked them away.

“Today, is not a busy day. You and everyone else, including me and your father don’t have much to do. Call it and ‘off day’ if you will.” Y/n’s ears perked up. Off day? No plans or revisions? No raiding or hunting?

“Oh… We’ll that’s nice. I might go into the forest later. Forage some herbs for grandmother, and grab fruit for us?” Y/n looked towards her parents, a questioning look on her face as she non-verbally asked for permission.

“That’ll be fine ma’ite. Very much appreciated from us and your grandmother.” Neytiri spoke, Jake was still tired, his eyes narrowed in exhaustion as he sat on their mat slouched. The small rolls on his stomach bunching as his pudge was poked out.

Y/n always thought her fathers stomach looked funny but cute, besides a baby’s stomach of course. Although his and a baby’s could be close in comparison.

As the morning stretched on, all of her siblings began to awake as the sun went higher in the sky. Neytiri was now making breakfast, some fruits that were freshly picked, by you.

You all sat at the table, legs crossed as you ate the slices of fruit off the large banana leaves, which were also picked by you.

You were quite the forager, and warrior which always shocked people. They always wonder how you balance training non-stop, but forage herbs and pick fruits.

Breakfast was as it usually is. Your siblings somehow managing to bicker as they stuffed their faces of the sweet fruit.

“Lo’ak! Can you just shut up!” Kiri yelled as she finished swallowing a piece of her fruit.

“You want me to shut up!? How about you!? You’re so annoying!” Lo’ak’s words were muffled as he tried to keep the piece of fruit in his mouth.

“Hey! Both of you. Knock it off.” Your father’s authoritative voice quickly cut off any type of rebuttal Kiri planned on making.

“And Lo’ak, you know you talk with no food in your mouth. Especially at a table!” Tuk spoke to Lo’ak with a giggle in her voice.

“Yeah I know…” Lo’ak mumbled.

While all that happened you thought of what you were going to do today. Since it was an “off day” you thought it might be a good time to finally talk to the person you’ve been begging to see.

Eywa, The All Great Mother.

She would help you. You knew this. She helps everyone, you’ve been meaning to talk to her for a while.

You chewed on your cheek nervously as you thought of when it would be a good time to leave, and what to say once you get to the Tree of Souls.

“Y/n?” A small voice faded into your ears as you were snapped out of your trance. “Hm?” You responded quickly as you looked down to your left.

Tuk was looking up at you, a hopeful look in her eyes as she stared at you.

“What do you plan on doing today? Can you hang out with us? Please!” She wrapped her arms around your forearm as she clung to you. You smiled down at her as you put a hand on her head.

“I’ll hang out with you guys, I just have something to do before I can.” You responded calmly as you stroked Tuk’s head.

“Do you have toooo?…” Tuk whined out as she pushed her face against your arm. “I would call it important. Maybe it has something to do with you… I don’t know though.” You shrugged as you made a questioning tone.

Tuk’s head shot up to look into your face. “Something for me? Do it! You can go do it!” She shook your arm as she grew excited.

One thing about Tuk, she loved gifts. Or any type of surprise that she could keep. So you made sure to remember to bring something back for Tuk.

“Well… I should be heading out now then, no?” You looked towards your parents for permission. When they nodded, you did too before rising to your feet, your body bent sideways as Tuk still had herself wrapped against your arm.

“Hurry back okay? Please! I want to play with you!” With a begrudging look on her face, Tuk slowly let go of your arm.

“I won’t be gone for long Tuk, I promise!” You raised your hands in surrender as you started to walk out the hut.

“Bye guys, behave for mom and dad while I’m gone!” You turned back as you waved. Hearing small and quick “byes” and “we will” before you sent yourself off into the forest.

Once you were on the grounds of the forest, you walked through the thick trees that outlined the clearing to the Tree of Souls.

Your body became fidgety as you got closer. Swallowing thickly as a lump started to form in your throat.

The tall stature of the tree intimidated you. The light pink tendrils swaying with the small breeze that passed by sent almost a comforting blanket of air as you became less nervous growing closer to the tree.

As you approached the trunk of the tree, kneeling down you grabbed your queue from the back of your head before you reached out gently grabbing a small bundle of the tree’s tendrils.

You took a deep breathe before you connected yourself to the tree, making tsaheylu.

A bright light enveloped your vision as you closed your eyes, a warmth washed over your body as you ‘seen’ the silhouette of what seemed to be a young Na’vi woman.

“Y/n, my dear child.. Why do you come to me?” The light yellow silhouette was now closer in front of you. Resting what felt like a warm motherly hand on your cheek.

“Great Mother… I-I am here to ask you a few things… I do not question your will, or the fate you decide. But I am wondering, why do I feel like this? Why does my body hurt all the time? Why can’t I just function normally with my family?”

Tears started to spill down your cheeks as you shot the questions out desperately like wildfire. You just wanted an answer. You feel as if you are not worth anything anymore.

“Oh Y/n.. Let it out, child. Cry and ask all the questions you want.” The woman that was speaking to you had to be Eywa. She was so warm as she held you close to her, her voice smooth with a soft tone.

“Great Mother help me please! I feel so gone, I have thought of hurting my own self just to know that I am real.. I don’t want to feel like this anymore… Please help me, I’ll do anything..” Your voice was soft as you begged quietly. Leaning into the hand on your face and warm body that stood in front of you.

“Do not fret child.. You will be saved, you are loved. Do not ever forget that. Everyone, is here for you.” Her soft hands caressed both of your cheeks as she leaned forward.

You were only able to get a glance of the features on her illuminated face. And oh, was she beautiful. It was the most divine thing you’ve ever seen.

A small smile broke out onto your face at her soft affirmations, nodding slightly in appreciation of her kind words.

“Thank you Great Mother.” You could see the white of her teeth as a smile appeared on her face.

She pulled you in closely to give you a hug. And it was the best one ever yet. The feeling of security, and happiness welded into your heart and spread through your body.

The feeling was nostalgic as it was the same feeling you always had when you were a young girl. Living in the trees of the forest with your parents and younger siblings.

“You’re welcome, my child…”

After that, the bright light appeared again before quickly fading out into black before you opened your eyes.

Your face was wet with tears and you panted at the greatest spiritual experience you’ve ever felt.

“Oh Great Mother…” You said once more before disconnecting your queue from the tree. Your body felt eccentric, a calm but brewing excitement was in your stomach.

You stood and began to turn away from the tree, walking back into the ones that outlined the clearing.

As you continued to walk back, you remembered. Something for Tuk, the herbs for grandmother, and fruit you wanted to pick.

You shut your eyes as you remembered you still had quite the stuff to do. Deciding to just try and get over it quickly, you did them in order.

In the end, you ended up with eight flower crowns, herbs you remember your grandmother needed to restock on, and fruits that were ripe enough for you and your family.

Now not just Tuk was getting a flower crown, but everybody was.

Once you were back to High Camp, your hands and arms full as you walked to your grandmother’s tent.

Once you were at the entrance to the tent, you spoke quietly, “grandmother? Are you in here?” Peeking in slightly, you saw your grandmother in the corner of the tent, rummaging through the drawers she left her herbs in.

She turned to look at you, a smile growing on her face. “Yes, yes I am here paskalin, come.” She waved her hand in a motion that told you to enter the tent. And you did.

“I was in the forest, and I decided I would grab some herbs I remembered you needing. Oh, and I made you this too.” You explained before showing her the flower crown you made for her.

“Oh yawntutsyìp, it’s beautiful, and thank you so much for the herbs. Come here.” She stood as she went forward and embraced you. You were completely joyed with the second hug you received today.

“It’s alright grandma. No need to thank me, it’s what I have to do, and what I should do.” She smiled as she kissed the top of your head.

“We all don’t deserve you, you are the sweetest girl I’ve met.” Your grandmother pulled your face back ash she decided to pepper it with kisses, like when you were a baby.

“Grandmother! Don’t do that! I’m not a baby no more and that tickles now!” You held onto her forearms as you tried to lower our her grasp, but she laughed and left a few more before she let you go.

“Okay, okay. But I do not promise that I won’t do it again.” She pointed at you with a smile. You gave her one back before you gathered all your other belongs and left. Now heading to your hut.

As you were at the entrance, you heard light conversations, your ears twitching forward as you heard the familiar six voices.

When you walked in, it felt as if all eyes snapped to you, a small silence adorning the hut before you spoke quietly, shuffling farther into your home.

“Hi guys..” It wasn’t long before Tuk shot up from the ground, her tail wagging as she ran to you.

“Y/n! You’re back! Did you do what you needed to do?” There was an eager look in her eyes as she looked at you, being expectant that you may have gotten something for her.

“I did. And here’s this.” You spoke with a smile as you placed the flower crown on her head. She jumped up and down in excitement before taking it off to look at all the flowers and their pretty colors before putting it back on her head.

“Thank you Y/n, thank you! I love it so much!” Tuk smushed her face against your stomach and wrapped her arms around your legs. Smiling more now, you rubbed her head and her back in soothing way before she let go of your legs.

Once she let you go you walked over to all your othe family members who were still gathered calmly at the table.

“And this is for you guys.” You felt shy as you passed around the flower crowns to your family at the table, a small purple blush settling on your cheeks as your skin felt warm.

“This is so pretty Y/n, thank you!” Kiri spoke as she placed hers on her head.

Lo’ak spoke next, “thank you sis, it’s really pretty.” When you looked over at him he already had it on his head, a bigger smile broke out onto your face.

“It is lovely ma’ite, thank you.” Your mother was next, then your father. “It’s beautiful babygirl, thank you.”

“Thank you a lot big sis, I really like it.” Neteyam was last but not least, you backed up as you looked at your family, happy as they all collectively wore what you made them.

“You’re Welcome guys.. You don’t have to thank me, it’s the least I could do.” You shuffled with the last flower crown in your hands.

“Least? You’re always doing the best for us, I mean I’m pretty sure nobody has a better older sister than us. Like come on, your the coolest.” Lo’ak raised his hands as he complimented you. Your family around all nodding and talking in agreement.

“Y/n, did you make one for yourself too?” Tuk asked as she looked at you.

“Well I made an extra one just in case someone lost theirs but I wasn’t planning one for me, no.” You answered question honestly, you never wear the trinkets you make unless someone forces you to because you never want to.

“Y/n. Put that flower crown on now.” Tuk put her hand on her hip as she gave you her sassiest tone. Your eyes widened at her sudden change in behavior before laughing and putting the crown on your head.

“You look beautiful syulang, the colors look perfect on you.” Your dad’s sudden compliment threw you off a bit, but not to much, he’s always saying something nice.

“Thank you dad.” You said with a light smile.

Tuk perked up as she remembered you were all supposed to go out into the forest, and she was going to make you go regardless of what you say.

“Okay, so can we all go now to the forest? Y/n your going,” she wasn’t asking you either, more so demanding that you go with all your siblings.

“Fine, fine! I was planning on going anyway Tuk, relax!” And that’s exactly what she did, sort of.

“Okay then come on come on let’s go!” You and the rest of your siblings all shuffled up to follow along after Tuk, going to make your way to the forest below.

Once all of you were on the forest floor, conversations erupted between everybody. You were brought into most if not all the small debates and bickers your siblings would have.

Tuk, not entertaining the incessant topics, hopped around as she interacted with all the different plants in the forest, giggling non-stop at all the plants reactions, or movements to her touch and presence.

You kept your eye on Tuk, just to make sure she wouldn’t drift off or touch the wrong thing. She was still so young anything could happen in the blink of an eye.

Which was bound to happen as you seen Tuk approach a txumtsä’wll, a poison-squirting plant. A very dangerous plant, labeled as one of the most dangerous if you don’t pay attention to how close you are to it.

“Tuk! Don’t touch that!” The panic in your body set and rose as Tuk’s hands and face were only mere inches away from the plant, she looked over at you in confusion as you quickly made your way towards her, pulling her quickly by her wrist away from it.

You ran quickly, a bit farther from where your siblings stood, a txumtsä’wll is such a huge plant, you don’t know how you didn’t notice it before.

Just then as your sibling jogged closer to you, a bit scared at your reaction towards the plant, the poison shot out. Hitting a tree that was right across from it. The poison deteriorated the tree, burning through the bark and sinking deeper into it.

Tuk stood in absolute terror as she saw what happened to the tree. Pandora is a dangerous place, though it is home to the beautifulest of plants and people, it has its parts and aspects that are the exact opposite. Killer plants and na’vi exiles that traverse the planet puts dread in your heart, making it feel more heavy.

You looked down at Tuk, turning her away from the mutilated tree, rubbing her hands subconsciously as if you were scrubbing them.

“Tuk, Tuk you didn’t touch it did you? You didn’t touch it right?” Your voice was strained as you hope to hear her say no.

“No… No i didn’t touch it…” Her voice was quiet, but you kneeled answer hugged her as a way to comfort her nerves as well as yours. You let out a breathe you didn’t know you were holding as soon as she wrapped her arms back around you too.

You picked Tuk up, holding her head against the crook of your neck and continuing to walk. The rest of your siblings decided to ignore what happened and continue to chitter as you walked.

That was before Lo’ak decided to look into the sky and notice how eclipse was more than closely about to settle in.

“Shit-“

“Language.”

“Eclipse!”

You all paused in your walking all throwing your heads back to look up and see how eclipse was gonna happen.

“Oh shit, shit shit shit! Come on!” You rambled as you turned back the other way and technically started running back home.

“Just how long have we been out here?” Kiri asked as you all still ran, Tuk still in your arms. “I thought we were hitting an hour soon not two or three!” You said as you panted, it would be better to call your ikran now and just fly home.

“We should call for our ikran, we’ll get home quicker and have more breathing space from curfew.” You said as you stopped, panting as you turned towards your siblings.

They nodded and immediately started calling for their ikran, and you did the same. Soon, you heard the familiar screeches of the precious beasts. Once they were on the ground you all settled onto your respective ikran, Tuk sitting in front of you, before you all set off, flying home.

You were all able to successfully reach home, just in time for curfew.

The five of you rushed into your hut, chests heaving as some of you bent down, slumped as you took in the much needed air.

Your parents’ attention turned towards all of you immediately, ears and eyes observing.

“What happened? Are you all okay?” Your father was the first to speak. Standing and walking over to you all, he grasped your shoulders first, his eyes held heavy with worry.

“Y/n.. what happened?” You panted a bit more before stuttering out your answer,

“W-we just wanted to make it h-home on time *huff* within curfew.” Your father visibly relaxed, a small smile coming on his face as he let out a light chuckle, your mother fanned the food with a smile on her face also.

“We’ll you all made it back just on time, come, sit. It is time to eat.” Lo’ak almost threw himself on the table, settling in his spot around the table.

“Jesus Lo’ak how greedy can you be? You almost destroyed the whole table!” Kiri exclaimed, annoyed by her brothers gluttonous actions.

“Shut up Kiri! Gosh! Can’t do anything without you bellyaching like a baby!” Lo’ak quickly responded back with his own comments.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be bellyaching like a baby if you didn’t act like one either! You act like you’re five! Grow the he-!” “Kiri..” You gently placed your hand against her shoulder, smiling playfully.

“Calm down, let’s not fight and just enjoy dinner okay? You’re fine.” You turned your head towards Lo’ak, who was sitting with his arms crossed against his chest as he held a childish pout on his face.

“Lo’ak, you’re fine too, we know you’re hungry, eat.”

“He’s always hungry-“

“Kiri!” You squeezed her shoulder a bit tighter before you ended up ushering all your siblings to just sit and eat.

Dinner passed by slowly, which you were grateful for. Today, it felt like you had a new chance at life once more. You talked all throughout dinner, conversing with your parents and siblings about your day out. You all laughed as you brought up all the weird looking plants and funny acting animals you seen while adventuring.

Once dinner was finished, your body felt warm and full with the food that was held within your stomach, a hazy feeling in your head that felt to similarly to the feeling of nostalgia.

A small smile was etched onto your face as you helped clean up the table, though against your mother’s own protests.

Now it was time for all of you to go to sleep, you would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. Only feeling as if you would be granted the blessing of sleep if you hoped and prayed.

You were now all settled into your sleeping mats, shuffling to get comfortable and saying goodnight, everyone began to close their eyes as the activities of the day finally made their bodies feel spent.

You were on your side, your front facing towards where your parents slept, you smiled as you seen the way your mother’s back was pressed against your father’s chest, his arm draped across her as they laid close together.

That was the only thing you looked forward to once you became older. Finding yourself the true love you’ve always wanted, a relationship healthy and full of love. Like your parents.

You adjusted your body to where you were now on your back, staring up to the ceiling of the hut, a warm blush enveloping your face as you thought of yourself having kids.

You calmed your mind so you wouldn’t get excited and chase your sleep away, your eyelids felt heavy, a good heavy as you felt the long-awaited feeling of sleep finally catch up to you.

Your eyes shut as you felt yourself fall into the world of your own slumber, alas, having the best dream of your life.

Author’s Note - Hi again! If you made it this far all i want to say is thank you for even reading! I don’t like this all that much but i feel so proud of myself for even finishing it and not just deleting it! But once again if you even read all of this, thank you so much 🤍!

[lowkeyrobin]

Ello! Can I request mcyt x reader where they react to reader wearing their clothes? Any mcyt you feel like but preferably including Ranboo and/or Charlie

ooo yeah of course!! ; I did ranboo bc I had zero ideas for charlie for some reason 💀💀💀 ; hope you enjoy 🫶🫶 ; also I'm so sorry this is so short LMFAO, I've been home sick today and have no brain cells other than what I wrote up til last night

RANBOO ; our closet

summary ; you steal their hoodie and he steals your shorts

warnings ; language, mentions of burnout/depression, reader is described to be around the same clothing size as him (just a little disclaimer)

word count ; 263

masterlist

You lay on Ranboo's bed, wrapped up in one of their hoodies, scrolling through TikTok while they stream. You hear them laughing in the room next door, streaming some paranormal horror game with Tommy and Charlie.

Although you were battling a headache, hearing their muffled laughter next door comforted you to great lengths. You were having an off-day, just feeling a little depressed and burned out at the moment, needing a day off to laze around. So, you snuggled up in one of his hoodies, lay down, and do nothing, a very satisfactory plan for the day, truly.

After a while, you heard all the laughter die out into silence and light chatter, signaling to you that Ranboo had finished streaming. After a few more minutes, they walk back into the room, with you half asleep on the bed.

They notice you on their bed, but not the hoodie at first, as they tasked themselves to get comfortable in some pajamas first. Once they do so and look back at you, they notice.

"Is that my hoodie?"

You look back, your back having been facing them. "Oh, yeah. Comfy"

They lightly smile while you squint and look closer at them.

"Those are my shorts, by the way"

"It came from my closet, so..." They joke, sitting down on the bed next to you.

"Eh... our closet?" You suggest

"Yeah, our closet" He smiles, seeing this as one of those moments to bond and build more of a relationship with you. "Oh, can I borrow that sweater you wore yesterday?"

You chuckle, "Yeah, sure"

[sugahbunni]

BUCKET LIST ☆ 14

Saiki slightly wishes he left the fight between you two dragged out a little bit as he watches you point at the build your own buddy store. The excitement is basically radiating off your body as you jump and down, reaching for Saiki’s hand but he pulls away the second your hand wraps around his pinky.

“Just because we made up doesn’t mean we get to hold hands like a couple” Saiki says, his tone drilling into your brain. You frown, tugging at his sleeve and pulling towards the other side of the mall.

“You promise we’d do anything I want to make up for what you did, let’s do something that symbolizes our friendship” You smile, your tired eyes crinkling at the corners. Saiki looks away as you smile, not wanting to show that he notices your dark eye circles. Did you really lose that much sleep over the fight? He honestly feels bad, and this is his way to apologize.

To bringing you to this childish store and let’s say he’s not a big fan.. maybe.

“Friendship” He repeats, and you nod.

“Yes?” You raise an eyebrow and Saiki slightly scoffs.

“Alright” He replies, gesturing towards the store.

“Go ahead”.

You squint at him, suspicious that he might walk off and hide from you.

“I won’t leave, if that is what you are thinking” He explains, making a fist and hitting the top of your head softly.

“Okay, cool!” You exclaim, attempting to grab his hand away and yes, he avoids it completely. As you both walk into the store, Saiki can’t help seeing the burn marks on your knuckles. You’re scanning the available toys with excitement and all Saiki can think about how is..

Why did you go out of your way to make him dinner?

He feels pretty bad, two days ago you had called him. Asking him if he wants to come over, and sadly he couldn’t he had .. some business to do. That business having to do going to this coffee jelly sale that he couldn’t turn away. Even if he wanted to. You sighed loudly into the phone as he said no, you had prepared this dinner for hours because you suck at cooking. Plus, burning yourself with boiling water wasn’t exactly ideal, and having to eat this whole dinner by yourself was just upright depressing. You wanted to have this dinner as a way to apologize to him, but he did tell you that you guys can reschedule.

Saiki shakes his head, picking up the ridiculously mini clothes meant for the stuffed toys. He turns to you and realizes you are right up to his face. He leans back a bit, as you lift a yellow dog with a brown hat.

“How cute is this? Give me your brutal opinion” You say, swaying the dog side to side. Saiki reaches out and pulls on the hat, when it doesn’t come off he pulls harder.

You smack his hand lightly, going “Bad Saiki!”. He blankly looks at you, reaching for a brown cardigan and grabbing the plush from your hands.

“Go for a brown palette, eccentric clothing hurt my eyes” He comments, putting the cardigan on the dog.

You stifle a laugh, tugging at Saiki’s sleeve.

“What is it now? Saiki asks, and you press your lips together in an attempt to not make fun of him.

“You’re wearing a neon green and bright blue vest, I wouldn’t say eccentric clothing hurts you in any way” You cross your arms with a grin, which Saiki doesn’t return.

Although, he really does. It’s really hard not to smile about you in general, and he finds it odd when he feels fuzzy when you do something endearing.

“I like the white dog with black ears” Saiki comments, trying not to admit he will like a toy of his own.

He holds your golden dog in his hands as you gently grab the one he pointed out.

“Let’s give him a silly hat” You suggest, and once again, Saiki gets that fuzzy feeling in his chest.

“I guess” He blurts out in such a plain voice, he wishes he said it in a more nicer way. Although, it doesn’t seem to bother you in any shape or form.

“I like the way you talk”.

Okay, that definitely made Saiki feel something. he is not used to compliments and this one hit hard. He always thought he talked too bluntly and his tone was always off.

“What about it” Is the only words that he can choke out, and he avoids eye contact as you place odd yet unique looking clothes on his choice of toy.

“You get straight to the point, you don’t sugarcoat” You start counting on your fingers and Saiki shakes his head.

“Let’s not get into it” Saiki interrupts once you’re about to say the third reason.

“Let’s pay and go” He suggests, still avoiding eye contact and walking past you. You nod, following him like a lost puppy.

Once you both get out of the store, Saiki decides to invite you over to his place. You gladly accept and you suggest a splurge of food again. Saiki sighs, knowing you both are about to have sugar high once again.

Yet he agrees.

Saiki doesn’t particularly like this gas station since he knows your classmates come here often and he doesn’t want to run into them. Especially with you.

You never admitted it but you are quite popular within the third years, obviously because you’re a transfer student and that you are so lively.

Saiki also never admits it but he likes that you are lively, it’s just your socialness can be a bit draining at times. So once you both enter the gas station, he scans the entire store to search for anyone he knows. You slip out of Saiki’s sight to get a tub of ice cream, while Saiki is having a crisis in choosing what chips he should get.

“Fuck it, I’ll get all of Y/n’s favorites” He reaches for three bags and pauses.’

Did he just curse? He never does so, and it’s out of character for him to do so. Maybe your intense cursing that only his ears hear is rubbing off on him. He cocks his head to the side quickly and grabs about four bags of sour candy. He stands there in the aisle and begins to think, “What if it isn’t good for your condition to eat all this?”. He starts getting deep in thought, a shriek breaking his train of thought and he shoots his head up.

“Y/n?” He says outloud, turning the corner and seeing you with a tub of ice cream and two liters of soda. Saiki’s eyes linger to the person you are facing and see..

Ugh, Toritsuka.

“Toritsuka! I didn’t expect to see you here” You exclaim, your eyes lighting up and Saiki feels a bang to his chest.

“Me neither, I expected to see you on our date next week” Toritsuka says, patting your head and ruffling your hair.

Saiki senses his body tense up and freeze. There’s no way he heard Toritsuka right, a date? With Y/n?

He feels his heart drop to his stomach and looks at you for an answer, but all you do is nod. He hears the conversation going on and it’s obvious the purple haired scumbag is flirting. Saiki rolls his eyes in annoyance, though he is not sure why.

Maybe he feels slightly off because you’re his best friend? Wait, best friend is too much of an intense label, Saiki thinks.

Friend, he corrects himself in his head. He impatiently waits on your side, stealing glances at you. He doesn’t like how your face seems to be radiating happiness, and your smile is so big he can see ninety percent of your teeth.

“Well, I’ll see you later cutie, uhm Saiki” Toritsuka awkwardly waves at Saiki before tapping your cheek twice. Once he leaves, you turn to Saiki who is absolutely deadpan in the face.

“What’s wrong?” You question, obviously oblivious to Saiki’s feelings. “Nothing, let’s get to my house, alright?” He walks past you and his shoulder bumps into yours. You frown, oh how much you hate when he does that!

When you arrive at his house, you feel he is a bit off. Like.. his whole vibe is off and he seems more stoic than usual.

Ten minutes into splurging once again, you chug down a cup of soda and burp loudly. This would typically make Saiki smile maybe a little bit, but now nothing.

“Hey what’s wro-”

“You're actually going on a date with Toritsuka?” Saiki asks, it’s crystal clear he’s ticked off but you are not sure why?

“Yes!” You answer, wanting to push Saiki off the edge to see if he blows up on you.

He doesn’t.

“Well, good luck with that” Saiki sucks his teeth and chews on a rainbow strip, his eyes on his cup of soda.

“Aren’t you happy?” You question, and Saiki shrugs.

“You have awful taste in men” Saiki points out, a smug smile threatening to break out on his face but he succeeds to hold it in.

You scowl, grabbing a handful of lime lays and sticking your tongue out at him.

“Atleast I have a love life” You comment, waiting for Saiki to reply as he chews up more sour candy.

“Not interested”.

“Whatever you say Kusuo Saiki”.

Saiki feels a tingly sensation in his stomach as you say his name, and he slightly punches his stomach. You don’t notice as you are too invested in your brownie fudge ice cream. Saiki grimaces at the chocolate piling up at the corners of your mouth. You never learned how to properly eat, did you?

“You’ll be the first to know what happens after that date, okay? You are my best friend after all” You say with an upbeat tone and honestly? That hurts Saiki a bit more.

Saiki simply nods, not knowing why he is so upset at that label, it is true you both are friends.

He leans back into his chair and thinks to himself, “Always a best friend to you huh”.

[macravishedbymactavish]

A Symptom of Being Human (John "Soap" Mactavish x GN! Reader)

Look at me cleaning up my drafts with 2 finished WIPs in one night.

TW for very light angst and a very concerned Soap

| Blog HQ | Modern Warfare 2 Masterlist |

"You dinnae look happy" a voice commented as you walked into the shared kitchen. You spared him a shrug as you continued quietly to the cupboards, looking for your cup to make a warm drink in.

"What's bothering ye? You can talk to me, I don't bite" The corner of your mouth twitched at that, while he could be loud, and border the line of obnoxious his heart was in the right place.

"Would you believe me if I told you it's just how I look?" You glanced over your shoulder, watching as he slowly squinted at you. Clearly not buying it.

"Just my face, Irish Spring. I'm having a really good day actually" you shrugged once more, ignoring his protests mumbled from under his breath about the nickname. ('M not even Irish…)

As far as you could remember, you were always having people checking in on your wellbeing. Friends, distant family, caring strangers, store clerks, and teammates. Your normal expression clearly wasn't welcoming and optimistic. It was the opposite actually - you looked like you hated the world and everyone in it at all times.

"But you look miserable" You appreciated his concern, but didn't need him worrying about you. Pausing slightly, you shook your head before glancing over at your friend.

"The face looks upset, the soul feels good. Do you want a coffee?" You lightly chuckled, grabbing another mug out of the cabinet when he accepted your offer.

--

"You're concerning Soap" Ghost confided to you later that day, following a sparring session between the two of you. "He's convinced you're depressed and not telling him everything"

You couldn't help but playfully roll your eyes, you loved your teammate. You really did, but he was so overly concerned for nothing.

"I've told him, it's just my face. I don't know what more I can do, outside of wearing a mask like my resting bitchfaced friend" you smirked at Simon, watching him copy the action you had just done a moment prior.

"You know 'im as well as I do, he's not going to suddenly stop being concerned. Especially since he thinks you're devastated about something and hiding it" Simon had a point...shit.

It was at dinner that night, when you felt a pair of eyes burning a hole in the side of your head. You had a fairly good guess at who was on the other end so you continued eating.

How many times do I need to tell him I'm fine? It's just. My. Face.

You opted against entertaining the concerned stare, in favour of continuing your meal. Making small bits of conversation with your table mates between bites. That was until you heard a soft, yet obnoxious shuffling getting closer. He wouldn't.

"Hey guys" Kyle awkwardly greeted, placing his tray down at one of the empty chairs across the table from you. "Thought I'd sit here, change of pace" you arched a brow at the man, seeing right through his change of pace.

You continued picking at your food, waiting for the question to be asked. Waiting for the confirmation that Kyle didn't come by to just hang out. Glancing up at him every so often, you watched as the man sat awkwardly across from you. Shoulders stiff as he sat.

"You can tell Johnny that I'm fine" you commented after another moment of silence. "And you don't have to stay if you don't want to"

He gave you a small smile before picking his tray up and returning to his main group. Leaving you to roll your eyes, and audibly groan when you felt another tray land beside you.

"No. I'm eating, you do not get to badger me about this now" voice trailing off as your eyes met those of the confused recruit. "Nevermind, I honestly thought you were someone else"

Poking at the food for a second longer, your appetite leaving the chat after you potentially scarred the poor stranger. Dumping the remnants of your tray into the trash, you sighed softly as you continued on to your room.

3 steps from your door, you heard a familiar voice call out to you. Jogging up to meet you before you passed the threshold.

"Are ye sure you're okay?" He asked, leaning against the wall in front of you. You debated whether or not to call him out on his dinner plan, and involving Kyle in all of this madness. Deciding against it in the moment, you went with a simple:

"I'm fine, Johnny. I promise I'd tell you if I wasn't" followed by a small smile, almost missing the unfocused gaze he was giving you.

Almost.

The two of you sat in silence, a rarity for the man in front of you. The team could've swore he was allergic to silences unless required for work. Always chattering about something, making silly jokes or teasing his friends. But right now? He sat silently, unmoving. Eyes staring right through you as his mind was clearly not within range. You lifted your hand to wave it in front of his face, then it clicked. The reason why he was so concerned for you. The moment passed as soon as it began, quickly blinking and refocusing on you.

"I know you would, I still worry for ye though" a small punch to the shoulder, and he was making his way down the hallway. Leaving you standing in place, eyebrows furrowed with the latest revelation. How did you never realize this before? Turning to stop him, to sit him down and ensure he was alright, you were met with an empty corridor.

Frozen in place, you ignored the dull ache growing behind your chest. The gnawing feeling in your mind as you debated on running up after him. Worried that it would give the wrong message after you spent the last few days all but begging him to quit.

You couldn't get the sight out of your head, out of your heart. The flash of hidden agony in his eyes, emotion covered up by extrovert tendencies. Making sure everyone else felt alright and was doing fine, as a coping mechanism?

No. This is not up for speculation.

"Johnny, wait" you called, jogging down the hallway to go find him. "Are you okay?"

Without stopping, he turned his head and shrugged.

"It's just my face, bonnie"

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja

[mins-fins]

DISPIRITED (S.HB)

SUMMARY . . . for sim y/n, the most ironic thing is telling a speech at the wedding of his first ever love, watching as he gets happily married to someone else, oblivious to all the pain he's caused in the process.

PAIRING . . . sung hanbin x male!reader, mentions of sung hanbin x fem!oc

GENRE . . . angst, simply angst

WARNINGS . . . none! just sad really

WORD COUNT . . 4.4k (so sorry)

NOTES . . . had an epiphany at midnight, so take this angst my friends! #sorrysunghanbin. the past is written in italics just so you know!

"you are a fucking idiot, you know that?"

the blatant and brutally honest statement from jongwoo makes y/n suck his teeth, slamming the door to the fridge as his eyes flick over to the yoon. the words are completely true, and everyone in the room, including y/n, knows that, but he wants to stay firm in his denial.

"are you just gonna insult me the whole time or.. i don't know, give me advice?" y/n sassily replies, and jongwoo scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"y/n, hanbin asked you to be his best man and you said yes!?" he immediately exclaims, and the volume of his voice makes y/n lightly flinch.

"your setting yourself up for heartbreak".

"well that's already been the past few years of my life so it's nothing new".

park hanbin snickers, and then he scoffs with a sudden change of attitude. "this is so funny, but also very depressing".

"y/n" keita starts, eyes shifting around the room. "i love you and all, but your setting yourself up for failure here, your watching the man you love get married! and your gonna give a speech at his wedding!?"

"yep" y/n replies, popping the 'p'.

hanbin props his arms up onto the counter, staring at his long time friend. "you know you don't have to do this if you don't want to, y/n, seriously".

"you guys hanbin is my best friend why wouldn't i wanna be his best man?"

"your gonna hurt yourself.." keita sighs. "how long have you liked hanbin, y/n? for like— ever, i don't want you to just watch and be sad".

"i'll be fine guys!" y/n very clearly lies, he throws his hands into the air like an idiot. "i'll get over it! it's not impossible to hide my feelings! and plus, i'm not about to make hanbin's wedding about me".

hanbin narrows his eyes, clearly not buying it. jongwoo simply scoffs, rolling his eyes, and keita sighs, wanting to say something more but not wanting to get into an argument with y/n.

y/n picks his nails, biting his inner cheek.

"what if she doesn't like me? and then i look like an idiot trying to ask her out?"

the seventeen year old sung hanbin paces back and forth, biting his nails anxiously as he begins rambling about his crush on a certain girl and how he's contemplating on just giving up and not telling her his feelings at all.

"your sung hanbin?" matthew responds in a questioning manner. "why would she reject you? everybody wants to date you!"

"right, you dumbass.." zhang hao mutters, he ignores hanbin's glare and scoff, crossing his arms as he watches him continue to pace back and forth while contemplating what to do about his crush.

as hanbin continues to pace, matthew rolls his eyes and zhang hao turns his head to the door, hearing it open. in walks y/n, holding a box as he closes the door with his foot.

y/n pauses, squinting as he watches hanbin pace back and forth. he puts down the box and dusts off his jeans. "what the hell is hanbin doing? why is he mumbling?"

"hanbin is being an idiot, as always".

"i'm not! i just—" hanbin pauses as he stares at y/n, who just raises an eyebrow. "i don't know.. it's complicated!"

"hanbin likes eunji and he's too afraid to tell her he likes her even though he's literally like, what? the one guy everyone wants to date, he's acting like it's a big deal but eunji's probably gonna say yes anyway and the next thing you know they're married with kids!"

y/n takes in the words zhang hao just said, doing his best to process them and piece them together in his mind.

hanbin has a crush on eunji..

hanbin has a crush on eunji?

y/n's stomach drops, and he sucks in a breath. yeah, he doesn't have a chance, of course hanbin likes eunji. she's pretty, smart, has a good sense of humor.

his crush is stupid, of course it doesn't matter; not that hanbin cares anyway. he's hanbin's best friend, nothing more, nothing less, at least not in hanbin's mind.

what made him think he really ever did have a chance?

y/n snaps out of his own thoughts and simply laughs, a fake one, but no one had to know that. "um.. just ask her out? your sung hanbin, it can't be that hard".

"why does everyone say that!?" hanbin groans, flopping down onto the couch before him. "what does that even mean?"

"it means she won't reject you, stupid" zhang hao states rather bluntly. "you guys both like each other, go for it".

matthew's eyes shift to y/n, and he can tell how it's hurting y/n to listen to this conversation, but he's keeping up a smile because it's his best friend.

a best friend he's in love with but that's out of the question.

how long has y/n liked hanbin? it seems like forever. where did it even begin? he could give you maybe two answers, that one time the two of them slept in the same bed during a sleepover in middle school, or that other time in middle school when they kissed!

trust and believe, y/n tried his best to get over hanbin.

he can never truly do it though.

because hanbin is just.. hanbin. he's so stupid with his pretty smile, and his pretty eyes, and his pretty voice, and how sweet he is, in such a natural way too.

every time he tries to get over him, hanbin comes back and gives him another reason for y/n to fall in love with him. in all honesty, it's like he's stuck in a loop.

and it's fucking stupid.

he hates it.

but he loves hanbin.

y/n's eyes flicker back up to the scene before him and hanbin is still mumbling and pacing back and forth. zhang hao just giggles at his display, and matthew gives him a look of sympathy.

"yeah um.. you guys keep discussing that i'm just gonna go".

y/n didn't really have anything he needed to do, he just really wanted to leave the room, and get away from anything pertaining to hanbin and eunji.

or just anything pertaining to hanbin in general.

"you want me to teach you how to what?"

hanbin paces back and forth, reminding y/n of a memory he'd much like to stay in the past. the younger groans, covering his face with his hands in an embarrassed way. "y/n! i agreed with eunji that we would waltz and i don't know how to waltz!"

"you don't know how to waltz? then why'd you agree to waltzing!?"

"because— because this wedding needs to be the perfect one! i want to make my fiancée happy!"

y/n feels a stab to his heart at the word fiancée, but this is what hanbin wants.

stop being so selfish, y/n! hanbin's getting married, your feelings don't matter here!

y/n punches himself in the head, and looks back up to hanbin, whose still stressing about the fucking waltz. "okay fine, hanbin, i'll teach you how to waltz, again".

"what do you mean, again?"

"remember when we were thirteen and you begged me to teach you the waltz so you could dance it with hao hyung at prom?"

hanbin gasps, smiling brightly. "oh yeah! my mom was so impressed!" he seems so giddy thinking about his past.

y/n wishes he could relate.

he sighs, standing up, and pulling hanbin by his arm. hanbin lets out a small squeak, tripping on his own feet and almost falling on his face. y/n was there to catch him, helping him up onto his feet.

"are you trying to kill me?"

"come on hanbin, be smart!"

hanbin gives his best friend a playful glare, and y/n laughs at his expression.

"okay so for the starting position" y/n begins, taking hanbin's hand. "your gonna put this hand on my shoulder, and this hand on my waist".

y/n tries his best to not melt when hanbin obeys his orders, sliding his non-dominant hand down to y/n's waist, whilst he places the other on his shoulder. he looks up and the two of them hold eye contact for what seems to be forever.

y/n doesn't want to blink, in an almost stupid way, it's like he wants to persevere this moment, to just have this continue..

he doesn't want to be reminded of the actual reality, that hanbin isn't his and that he never actually did tell him what he felt, that hanbin is getting married to someone far prettier, smarter, and much more pleasant than him.

because if he's being honest, all it does is make him want to collapse onto the floor and cry.

"okay so" y/n clears his throat. "when it comes to the waltz, footwork is usually the main focus, so if you can just move your feet correctly and on beat than you'll have no problem".

hanbin's eyes shift around the room. "okay, so, we just have to move at the same time, on beat?"

"you have to make sure you remain consistent with the moves as well".

hanbin looks up, his eyes shining as he stares at y/n. he swears he feels his legs about to give in with the way hanbin is looking at him, but he clears his throat and shakes his head.

y/n steps forward first and hanbin is too slow, so he accidentally steps on his foot. "ow! y/n!" he winces, shutting his eyes.

"were supposed to step at the same time!"

"you didn't give me a cue!"

"what cue you dumbass!?"

hanbin sucks his teeth, a pout coming to his face. y/n shakes his head, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. how could he ever remain mad at hanbin?

"okay, on three, we step at the same time, and we'll go from there".

hanbin thinks, then he nods, giving him that same smile he loves so much.

1.. 2.. 3

y/n and hanbin step at the same time, and hanbin makes a sound of excitement when he finally gets the move right. after a few minutes of accidentally stepping on each other's feet, the two of them begin to get the hang of it.

hanbin is a fast learner, evidently, he won't have any problem waltzing with eunji. y/n was way too into this to even think about reality at this point, this waltz took him back to the good memories he has. memories of teaching hanbin how to waltz when they were in the eighth grade, seeing his look of excitement upon hearing that y/n knew how to waltz.

y/n smiles as they dance together, but the only thing keeping him smiling are the memories he has from before. thinking about everything now, how he's agreed to being hanbin's best man even with the feelings he's hidden from him for who knows how long.

it's depressing to y/n how even with all of the heartbreak he's gonna experience from this, he's still gonna do it. for the sake of hanbin and eunji, for the sake of his best friend.

he doesn't deserve hanbin, he never did deserve hanbin. yes eunji's lucky, but she deserves good things, she's not a bad person.

the jealousy bubbling up inside him is maddening.

when they finally do stop dancing, y/n is no longer smiling, hanbin seems happy, and he has to try his best to put up a fake front. "oh my god! i think i might be getting a little dizzy.."

"it was just spinning, hanbin".

"spinning like, thousands of times".

y/n snickers at the complaint from hanbin, trying his best to ignore how hurt he feels about the way his mind is hurting him, how his own thoughts are seemingly playing against him.

"y/n?" hanbin calls out, the sound of footsteps approaching meet y/n's ears.

"yeah—"

y/n pauses, when he turns around hanbin is right in front of him, so close that y/n could see all of his features so clearly. he takes in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but the moment hanbin smiled, y/n closes his eyes.

"thank you" hanbin says, completely oblivious to the way he's affecting y/n, the way he's always affected y/n. he takes his hands, looking down. "for not just teaching me how to waltz, but for everything, everything you've done for me".

everything i've done for you..

"it's nothing really" y/n responds, his voice probably sounding airy because hanbin is holding his hands. "your my best friend, and i love you".

he loves hanbin.

he loves him.

maybe not in the context he thinks, but he does love him.

really.

"what are you doing out here, y/n?"

sitting on the curb in front of hanbin's house, y/n sighed as he rolls his eyes. hanbin sits beside his best friend, a light cold breeze brushing past them, y/n's hair moving in the wind. "because.."

y/n mutters something under his breath, and hanbin raises an eyebrow, though he sighs. "i heard you plan on not going to the formal".

"who told you?"

"matthew".

y/n bites his inner cheek, turning away from hanbin as his eyes cast down towards the floor. "y/n? did something happen?"

nope! just had the horrible realization that i can never be with you even with how much i love you! because you don't love me back! and you won't ever love me back!

"nope, just don't feel like going".

"why not?"

"you ask too many questions".

y/n snaps much more aggressively then hanbin expected, and he must notice, because his shoulders slump and he sighs. "sorry, it's just.. there's a lot going on at home right now".

"ah" hanbin stretches his legs, they're touching the street, but he doesn't seem to be the slightest bit worried. "sorry".

"it's alright.."

hanbin stared at y/n, admiring his side profile. another cold breeze passes, and hanbin lightly shivers before speaking up once again. "y/n, i'm not going if you don't wanna go".

"please don't start, hanbin".

"i— i can't go without you! your my best friend, you've been my best friend since like.. forever! we've never not done anything together!"

"yeah but.. it's just, yeah, not my thing".

hanbin knows thats a bold faced lie, because y/n mentioned many times even at the beginning of the school year that he was preparing for the formal before the formal was even announced, that he'd designed and begin sewing his own outfit already.

"we can go together".

y/n chokes on his spit.

"what?"

"you know, like what some friends do" hanbin explains, and y/n's face drops, of course. "y/n you've been talking about this forever! i'm not gonna go without you".

"hanbin.."

"come on y/n, please?"

y/n desperately wants to disagree just to be stubborn, but the way hanbin is looking at him, that gaze that he knows y/n can't resist. "i— ugh fine".

hanbin hums in delight, moving closer to wrap his arms around y/n, pressing the two of them together. "aww your so cute y/n! you just can't resist me can you?"

"oh my god let go of me".

y/n hopes his act was bought.

"you're so tense y/n, jesus".

"and you're not helping, matthew".

park hanbin sighs, rubbing y/n's shoulders as a way to calm him down. "stop thinking so hard y/n, it's all gonna be fine" he says, hoping that he can somehow make all of y/n's worries simply wash away.

and while y/n wishes that was the case, it doesn't work. "god i've been rehearsing my speech all week, the words are literally burned into my brain".

"okay you need to stop stressing out".

"i can't not stress out!" y/n snaps at zhang hao, very clearly stressed out. his hands feel clammy, and he begins cracking his knuckles as a sort of coping mechanism. "i'm.. oh god! what if i mess up!"

"y/n" hanbin calls out, his voice soft and low. "your stressing out more than hanbin, and he's the one getting married".

"ugh you don't have to remind me!" he squeals. realizing he sounds.. well— unhinged, y/n takes a deep breath, counting to ten in his head with his eyes closed before opening them again. "okay.. i can do this, it can't be that hard, i'm over him".

y/n believes lying to himself will help cushion whatever pain he knows he's about to feel going through this wedding.

it's like y/n blinks, and in two minutes, everything has already gone by. he believes he disassociated out during all of that, that he was there but not really there, per se.

the one thing he does know, though, is that he somehow avoided hanbin the whole time. y/n has absolutely no idea how he did it, because he is the best man after all, it makes no sense.

y/n is glad he was able to avoid hanbin, though, because he's sure he would've burst into tears if hanbin even so much as looked at him with those pretty pretty eyes of his.

and as he sits at the table, looking at the glass of alcohol in front of him, his stomach seems to be dropping further and further. okay y/n, you can do this, you practiced your speech for a week.

so, with his stomach feeling empty and his throat burning. y/n stands up, picking up the glass in front of him as the words leave his lips; "i would like to raise a toast".

y/n sucks in a breath as everyone else stands up, as everyone else immediately turns to him, giving him all of their attention. "it's really crazy, how hao hyung predicted all of this, though i know matthew remains pissed off that he owed him twenty dollars".

a few small laughs ring through the crowd, but the anxiousness doesn't leave y/n. "i'm y/n, i've pretty much known hanbin since forever, we grew up in the same neighborhood and always did everything together.."

y/n's mind races, and his eyes shift around. "it's really an honor to be here, watching my best friend get married, and to be chosen as his best man as well, is something i've really always dreamt of".

y/n's voice sounds so artificial that he wants to grimace at his own tone, but he keeps up his front, cursing in his mind. "i remember it like it was yesterday.. hanbin was freaking out thinking eunji would reject him, we all knew they were meant to be, and it's so beautiful to see this moment in person".

y/n laughs. artificial, dumbass. "congratulations to both hanbin and eunji, for their relationship, their love, and the amazing things they have achieved. i wish them nothing but prosperity and good fortune in the future".

the burning feeling in his throat increases, and y/n closes his eyes before giving the fakest smile he thinks he's ever given. "cheers everyone! to sung hanbin and jeon eunji!"

and just like that, it's over, and then everyone goes back to talking, laughing, their attention finally off y/n.

to say he's overwhelmed is an understatement, it's a miracle he didn't cry right then and there, not like anyone would recognize the true intention behind his tears anyway.

y/n fixates onto the floor, not wanting to look up as he's afraid of seeing hanbin, seeing him happy, oblivious to all the pain he's caused him these past few years.

"y/n" he snaps up, meeting the sympathetic gaze of keita. "everything okay? your zoning out there" he points out, and y/n nods, the burning sensation in his throat pretty much hurting him at this point.

"i just um.." he pauses, taking yet another deep breath. "there's just a lot of people in this room, it kind of overwhelms me".

your a fucking idiot, y/n. your at a wedding, of course there's a bunch of people here. why do your feelings even matter here? it's your fault for never telling hanbin how you feel..

"i need air.."

y/n smiles at keita, before he stands up and walks out of the venue, quickly making his way outside. whilst having a conversation, hanbin's eyes drift towards him, watching as he walked out.

where are you going y/n?

"you're way too genuine, lover boy".

hanbin gasps, staring at his best friend like he just said the most offensive thing ever. he stares at y/n fondly and shoves his hands into his pockets, a breeze blowing by and moving y/n's hair. "shut up, i'm being nice".

"walking me home, hanbin?" y/n inquires, a small smile graces his features as he chuckles, shaking his head at hanbin. "such a gentlemen you are".

"fuck you, y/n".

"don't say that to your bestest friend ever, hanbin!"

hanbin pouts, and y/n giggles once again, singing a shinee song to himself. "anyway, i really do appreciate you walking me home, you make me feel special, you know?"

"you.. are" hanbin pauses in his sentence, but he smiles as soon as he speaks those words. "don't mean to be cheesy or anything.."

"you do sound cheesy" but y/n's heart does skip a beat, fuck hanbin and his sweet words, he always seems to know what affects y/n the most. "dumbass".

screw him.. really.

"don't call me a dumbass, dumbass".

"what would your mom say if she heard you saying such things to me?"

hanbin gasps, moving y/n's way to nudge him by the shoulder. y/n grunts, giggling as he nudges him back, pushing him with much more force.

"don't push me, y/n!"

"you pushed first! stupid!"

"your stupid! stupid!"

hanbin looks up with a mischievous grin, and then he moves towards y/n again, pushing even harder with his shoulder. y/n stumbles and grabs hanbin's sleeve to make sure he doesn't fall, hanbin squeals and stumbles his way, almost taking the two of them down.

"idiot! are you trying to get us killed?"

"you started it!"

hanbin pouts, lightly pushing y/n again. "why'd i even agree to walk you home? your just here torturing me" he says playfully, pushing y/n forward.

"but you love me".

"yeah, sure y/n".

"you do! you just won't admit it!"

"have you seen y/n?"

hanbin asks for what seems like the nth time that minute, biting his inner cheek. park hanbin's eyes shift around the room, and he shakes his head. "nope, haven't seen him since the toast".

hanbin sighs in an almost defeated manner, but then keita speaks up; "he left".

his eyes widen. "what!?"

keita's face goes blank for a second, and he quickly reiterates. "no! not like left left, he just went out to get some air, he's just outside".

"oh okay" hanbin let's out a sigh of relief. "thank you" he says softly, smiling at his friends before exiting the venue, his head whipping around as he searches for y/n's familiar silhouette.

he doesn't have to search for long, though, since y/n is the only person outside, and simply because hanbin has gotten so used to identifying him in a crowd, he could practically point him out anywhere.

"hey stupid" y/n jumps when hanbin's hand lands on his shoulder. he relaxes for a moment, but only for a moment, because his shoulders remain tense. "i was looking for you everywhere, i thought you were gone".

"oh.. sorry" y/n smiles, but it quickly fades as hanbin sits beside him. "i just needed some fresh air, i can't be cooped up inside for too long".

y/n scratches his hand, hoping he can pretend that everything's okay that hanbin doesn't inquire about what's going on.

but its sung hanbin, of course he notices.

"is something bothering you?" hanbin asks, eyes falling to y/n's hands, which are reddening from how much faster he's scratching them now. "y/n, are you gonna give me answer?"

"i'm fine, hanbin" y/n smiles, but hanbin doesn't buy it, god screw him and his attentiveness. "why are you looking at me like that?"

"your lying".

"i'm not".

"you are".

"i'm not".

hanbin is really testing whatever remaining patience y/n has left, but instead of continuing with this banter, he sighs, reaching out to take y/n's hand, lacing it together with his.

as soon as their hands connect, y/n feels the cold metal of hanbin's wedding ring against his fingers, and the unpleasant reality dawns on him once again.

hanbin will never be his, hanbin will never reciprocate his feelings, or love him back, or see him as more than a best friend, as someone who he feels only platonic feelings for and nothing more.

y/n has spent so much of his time pining, thinking these useless things, creating fantasies in his head like any of them would actually happen in real life.

the truth is, sung hanbin would never love sim y/n back, he'd never see him as more than a friend.

but coming to terms with it so closely, with hanbin right in front of him, those pretty pretty eyes staring at him, makes y/n feel as if his whole world has crumbled right before his eyes.

unconsciously, he squeezes hanbin's hand, much to the surprise of the other.

"hanbin i.." he pauses for a moment, the word seeming to drag on forever. he doesn't know what to say, or what he should say, or what he should do, his mind feels empty in the moment.

"i love you".

the words have such a different meaning than what hanbin might think. y/n is conveying a much different point than presented to hanbin, his viewpoint is much more different than hanbin's, and it's clear by the way he reacts.

"i love you too, i always have".

yeah, you always have, but not like how i always have, you don't love me like how i love you.

y/n looks down to the floor, squeezing hanbin's hand once again.

"yeah, of course".

at that point in time, those words no longer conveyed any meaning to sim y/n anymore.

[otakuworks]

❛ 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍, 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈. crossover

feat. Kayden Break x Fem!Dazai!Reader | wc. 4.4k

sum. Kayden's meeting with a certain suicidal maniac took 10 years of his life.

Red means your dialogue

Blue means Kayden's dialogue

Green means any Eleceed / BSD Character's dialogue

eleceed mlist main mlist

HOW YOU MET (Port Mafia Dazai)

Is this even worth narrating?

Come on, it's Dazai we're talking about

How you met the Awakened ones always share the same story, and Kayden is no exception.

Kayden was just minding his own business, definitely not beating someone else's ass when he suddenly saw a lump of black coat floating in the river behind his opponent.

Canonically, he wouldn't give a shit at first. Then he noticed the piece of clothing seemed to be twitching and bubbles were floating, as if someone is dying out of hypothermia

For once, he wanted to do a good deed.

So, he struck his lightning prowess in the water

To help the person reach their destiny faster, Kayden seemed to know the person wants to commit suicide

"ACK!" A high pitch shriek filtered his ears, his eye brows rose ever so lightly and an amused smirk graced his lips. He's 100% that was the last word they uttered before death greeted them.

Surprisingly, the water tides brought the person at the shore, laying face flat on the ground, barely breathing.

He shrugged it off, assuming they're already dead. What caught his attention is the feminine built the person has despite being clad in a fancy suit.

Curiosity took over (probably one of the reasons why he became a cat)

He strutted over the limped body with its back facing him, a few glimpses of the person and he can tell she's very much a woman.

The most noticeable feature was her brunette hair that cascades elegantly down her back.

Squinting further, he could deduce the bandages wrapped around her arms as well as her right eye.

"She looks filthy rich to be depressed and commit suicide." He mumbled to himself before turning the girl so she's now laying on her back.

His onyx eyes widened by a fraction.

She looked rather peaceful, skin pale as a doll and an angelic face that screams danger if he indulged.

Suddenly, her eyes rolled back and Kayden have never been so horrified in his life. How the fuck? Didn't his lightning did the job?

Not when almost losing against Korean's Top 1 nor fearing death, no, this is more than petrifying.

A girl coming back from the dead?! Nah uh! He's convinced she's Satan Spawn.

"You're still alive?!" He exclaimed, uncharacteristically.

The brunette never had a second to process anything and smiled gracefully that sent him shivers, "Unfortunately. Were you the one who struck the lightning to hasten my journey in the afterlife?"

𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭? He thought to himself, "How did you know someone struck lightning?" He questioned as he bent down enough to maintain eye contact. She should've been dead by then

"Because fate lead me to you."

"Don't confuse fantasy over reality. Who are you?"

Staring at her smiling face, he saw how she cracked a mischievous grin, "I'll answer that after you join me." He tilted his head, "Join?"

Finally, she sit straight up, fixating her attire despite being drenched in water before taking his hand.

And Kayden who values his personal bubble more than anything, slapped her hand away, "Don't get familiar with me, woman. Touch me again and I'll definitely kill you." He spat out venomously.

Ideally, any person would be either fuming or peeing.

And she did neither of those.

Instead, she seemed enthusiastic about the prospect of death by his hands and without hesitation, she grabbed his hand once more, followed by her signature flirtatious phrase before he could conjure his lightning.

"You look handsome like the Tteokbokki I ate earlier. Would you be willing to join me in a double suicide?"

The rest is history itself

JK

Kayden almost sent her in the nearest mental institute.

He couldn't figure out what's the deal with that woman.

The following days were spent by her tagging along. No matter where he goes, she would somehow appear a minute later despite the distance being miles away.

And would ALWAYS nag him to join her in a double suicide, plus with a few half hearted compliments on his looks that boosted his self-esteem slightly suffice that.

Was she just bluffing or what?

Maybe just wanting attention?

Or plainly flirtatious in nature?

He wouldn't know

She's too unpredictable and difficult to interpret what her real intentions are behind her actions.

At one point, she deduced who would try and ambush him the other day and even warned him creepily about it

But creepy, he meant always mentioning Suicide in every sentences she converse with him.

It almost doesn't make sense and he didn't take it into account.

Until, that day actually came and a group of unaffiliated Awakened people gang up on him.

Of course, it was a piece of cake for him

But the accuracy of her prediction is frightening. Is she an Awakened one as well? If so, then what's her power?

He hasn't heard of anyone having foresight as their power.

Most awakened ones developed powers that are either Offensive or Defensive.

She could be the first that falls in between

He just can't understand her logic behind suicide.

He completely forgot to actually strike her with his lightning with how distracted he is to get away from her.

Honestly, this is the first time he prefers to run away from a person than confront them face to face like he usually does

There's no reason to not kill her. She's being a nuisance, not those typical ones he fought.

But he would actually get rid of those nuisance if he wills to it, just what's up with her that he can't do it?

And he still doesn't even know her name!

"Stop kneeling! Don't you have an ounce of dignity to preserve?!" He shouted over the sea of people around them.

There she was, down to her one knee as if proposing romantically to him, and she is.

"My darling—"

"And stop calling me with those ridiculous endearment!"

Soon enough, whispers among the crowd began to rise, saying Kayden is the bad boyfriend who never gives equal affection as his girlfriend. Oh, he's totally fed up alright.

He snatched her bandaged wrist and strode at the nearest alleyway before shoving her in the darkness.

"Fine! Since you want to die that badly. I'll grant that pathetic wish of yours."

Azure electricity crackled between his thumb and index finger before it began rapidly growing into what it looks like a Chidori.

He expected for her expression to falter, he plans to rip her facade away and expose what's beneath that mask of hers.

He aims his attack straight to her, and unexpectedly, she was still smiling and even cheering him up to make it quick and less painful

In between those lines, she yelled out how boring this method of murder is.

Gritting his teeth, he launched the attack and made extreme tremors that shook the ground beneath his feet, even the walls on either side of him cracked at the intensity.

He wasn't able to witness how she went down with all the smoke the accumulated afterwards. He's 100000% that it got her, there's no way she would survive that attack.

*RING* *RING*

A phone? But he doesn't even have a single gadget with him

"Moshi! Moshi!"

No way... HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! No way he missed

Once the dust settled down, he could see the silhouette of the woman casually conversing with someone on the phone.

Dumbfounded, Kayden doesn't know what greater words that can describe what he's feeling right now.

Your conversation fell deaf in his ears as her face is now wiped out from any mirth.

Your red eyes glinting in the dark, face devoid from any emotion. It's the first time she showed an emotion other than mischief and it sure left the soon Top 1 Awaken in shock.

That's the look of a calculated manipulator and murderer. A look Kayden is still not familiar of as he's only been exposed to the ones who would recklessly throw themselves just to be more powerful.

She ended the call and puts her phone back in her pocket, she trailed her gaze at him, grinning maniacally at his reaction.

"How unfortunate. My boss just called me and I have to get back in our headquarters." She frowned as if indicating how frustrated she is that he wasn't able to grant her wish.

Still in daze, Kayden narrowed his eyes, "Your boss?"

She nodded, "Looks like you failed, Kayden."

At the mention of his name, lightning quickly pelted down to strike her down. She knows him?

Well, it wasn't that surprising considering he's been challenging popular and powerful Awakened people from left and right.

The thing is, he doesn't know if she's an Awakened one like him or not. Most ordinary people with no powers shouldn't know his name

"Ouch! It's more powerful than the previous one."

She giggled through the speck of dust, and looked at him straight to the eye that face him an eerie feeling.

"W-What? How are you not dead?!"

She smiled as blood drenched the bandage on her right eye, probably the cause of the debris that his electricity broke.

"I don't plan on dying by your hands. If you will, I'll gladly show you what suicide actually means by joining me."

Kayden never got to answer her stupid offer.

She disappeared after that, as if she never existed in the first place.

It was the turning point of Kayden's life.

After that mysterious encounter, he just kept getting stronger and stronger. That event can't drill in his mind, who exactly was that woman?

Is she really an Awakened one like him?

Was that her ability? To be immune to their powers?

He has so many questions, and unfortunately, no one can answer them just yet

Not until he finds that damn woman first

ACQUAINTANCE to FRIENDS

It's been what? Years? Five years to be exact.

And he has no luck finding that waste-of-bandage girl

He really did his best scouring every nook of Earth.

Even having a detour to the same country twice, still no luck

Instead, the news about the Great Kayden being wounded and weakened spread across globe and most Awakeners tried to pursue and kill him, or worse, take his Force Control.

With all the shenanigans he began in his youth, backfired

And now he finds himself in a fat cat form with a nuthead blonde kid as his apprentice.

It's been hell of a ride for him, Jiwoo being targeted by Baekdu and being kidnapped, him breaking his core etc etc

Dr. Delein managed to heal his arms, but his Core is a different story.

Kayden had to resolve in contacting the World's Best Healer, Kartein (or so the rich guy proclaimed)

Him scamming himself in learning how to change into a cat in exchange of healing his apprentice yada yada.

Kartein is all over the place when the deal almost got compromised with how stubborn Jiwoo is. In the end, Kayden convinced him to heal Jiwoo while he's still unconscious.

Outside the room, the ravenette guarded the place with crossed arms and unfriendly demeanor.

"Mr. Kayden."

The Chairwoman of Shinwa Corporation came with her right hand, Inhyuk. Both of them plastered concerned looks as they felt someone's presence inside the room Jiwoo is in.

"I heard you came with Kartein. Is that his power I'm feeling inside?"

"Right, he's treating Jiwoo right now." He replied curtly.

"I see." Jiyoung sighed.

"Seems like our country has been a tourist spot for powerful Awakened ones." Inhyuk proudly stated with a hint of wary.

The Chairwoman couldn't agree more, "I didn't expect a detective to help Jiwoo. And now the infamous Kartein healing him..."

Kayden's eyebrows arch, "Since when did you have a Detective?"

"Oh right, we weren't able to inform. A Detective from Yokohama, Japan is behind all the schemes that occurred between the conversation of Suman King and the President, Supil Kang."

Jiyoung continued after Inhyuk, "She's also the one who anonymously sent Suman the location where Jiwoo is kidnapped."

I don't know if her motives are good or not, but it doesn't change the fact she contributed in helping Jiwoo, Jiyoung thought.

Wrinkles decorated Kayden's forehead, "Why didn't you tell me beforehand? Does Jiwoo know this?"

Jiyoung casted her gaze down, "No, he doesn't. She told us to keep this a secret until the problem has been resolved."

"Why would she help Jiwoo?"

Now this is the first the Great Kayden initiating talks with question.

"I... have no clue. But I can tell you, she's a sly Detective. To think she was able to track down Jiwoo and plan ahead of Supil and used Suman as her trap to lower Supil's guard down."

The Chairwoman had thought this through, she gave her name and even the address where the Detective is working, but it still didn't ease up the suspicion she's feeling.

"She's obviously no ordinary person. We tried backtracking her messages to us but it always lead us to a dead end." Inhyuk supplied.

Kayden was contemplating, the description matches the girl he met five years ago. Could it be...?

"What's her name?" He looked straight at the two.

They let the air of silence hang before uttering the name.

"Dazai Y/N."

Who the fuck is that?!

If only he could fly back in Japan as follow the address to check the credibility that girl is giving them.

But he can't.

Jiwoo is in a vulnerable state, even though he trusts Shinwa Corporation, it's still better if he's the one guarding his place.

He shouldn't be distracted at the moment. He made a mental note to find that Dazai Y/N later after Kartein comes out.

A few days later, Kartein announced he has healed his apprentice's core but would still need further treatment.

He wasted no time flying across the tall skyscrapers, in hopes to find the woman who helped Jiwoo.

Deep in the recess of his mind tells him she's nearby.

But where?!

One Eternity Later...

He gave up.

Jiyoung wasn't capping when she said that detective is a sly one. In the past 5 hours, he would've fed that cats and teach Kartein how to turn into a cat. Not blindly doing parkour.

Fortunately, seems like fate has other plans for him

"Oh my dear Kayden!"

The ravenette conjured a lightning bolt at the culprit and immediately regretted it afterwards, the effects of his attack caused a few casualties and probably a death of someone.

The gears of his mind began to work as the feminine voice sounded awfully familiar to him, he just can't pin point whom.

*COUGH* *COUGH*

"You're really rough around the edges... I like it."

Squinting his eyes, he caught a glimpse of a feminine figure emerging from the terrible blunder he committed.

At first, he thought his mind is playing tricks on himself.

The brown coat and her brunette hair flows behind her like a banner, a few lose bandages were noticeable and that alone unlocks a certain memory on his mind.

"Ara! Ara!" As your silhouette came closer to him, he knew he had found you, "You should've ended me!"

Rough start if you may say

You're attached to his hip that entire day, and Kayden was reluctant on how to act around you. Everything she does is so nonchalant as if you two have been friends.

By the end of the day, Kayden wasn't able to pick the courage to ask about your involvement in Jiwoo.

You stayed for a few weeks; the entirety of your stay has been chaotic and questing

JIWOO met you after Kartein discharged him from Shinwa's hospital. You two instantly became friends, Kayden has told him she helped him from his abduction and couldn't be more grateful enough for you

In return for your good deed, he must commit a double suicide with you.

Kayden forbid Jiwoo from seeing her ever again. Of course, the blonde absolutely disagreed with his mentor on that one

He was ecstatic to know you also like cats and even became stray cat feeder buddies when his friends aren't around.

Always concerned about your well-being and mental health whenever you ask random strangers to commit double suicide with you and even confronted you about it.

Poor bby couldn't understand what your dumb reasons as to why you're addicted to death.

KARTEIN is mostly irritated by your existence as you would always accidentally cancel his cat transformation whenever you hold him. He's also mildly curious about you, part of him is intrigued to know how your powers work.

Oh? Did I mention you already met him far way back when you were still in the Port Mafia? Well, now you know.

You two work well in annoying Kayden, that's one thing he would approve of your existence. You seem to have the best prank lists that's effective in infuriating Kayden.

He might as well scam himself to let you teach him the best of the best things to blow Kayden's fuse on a daily basis.

Jiwoo's group of friends meeting was chaotic. I mean it, C H A O T I C.

When the trio waltzes in Jiwoo's abode, SUBIN was the first to see you holding a rope near the staircase and asked who you were and what were you doing with it.

"Oh this? Are you perhaps interested in joining me for a double suicide, mademoiselle?"

Honestly, Subin would be simping over you like how she does with Kayden and Kartein if it wasn't for your suicidal tendency.

But you two became buddy-buddy in a span of 2 days all because you talked about Kayden's little secret that will certainly make any female scream in glee... His di— Let's not say anything about this matter.

Subin absolutely loves your style, since she into any tomboy look and for her, you nailed that style with your coat. Would often make suggestions about clothing brands and go on shopping spree in your free time.

Our thug Elsa is loaded aright? And she would not hesitate to spend her money.

WOOIN was your number one victim in suicide attempts. Poor giant bby looked all flustered whenever you converse to him, seemingly sheepish and bashful around you.

Though, you don't push your luck on him, if you noticed him getting too uncomfortable then you'll immediately back off.

He doesn't tell you directly that he needs his personal bubble and you sort of appreciate how polite he is.

He would barely saiy any word to you if you don't initiate the conversation. But if you buy him his favorite meal, boy you have his respect and adoration.

Constantly ask you if you like any particular food that would interest him to try and you would suggest the unthinkable.

"Poison." :)

JISUK almost used his wind prowess to propell you away from their precious cinnamon roll. How did Jiwoo even managed to befriend with the likes of you?

From his perspective, the blonde boy seemed attached to you and doesn't bother to confide you about your suicidal attempts.

He literally called his sister to send you in the mental hospital

That's how you met JIYOUNG YOO.

And that's how you completely accepted the fact that you're not straight at all.

You're literally everywhere, anywhere and somewhere lol.

To say Jiyoung was creeped out of Dazai Y/N would be an understatement. Of course anyone can already guess what's your first words to her.

At first, she was only impressed by your deduction skills. She hasn't seen anyone pull the impossible before. Probably, only Kayden at that time but you broke her expectations.

However, Jiyoung can't deny the beauty you withhold as well. You're simply too breathtaking and charming, one of the few females who managed to unhinge her jaw in awe.

Now she's questioning her sexuality. She understands that she doesn't have to be bisexual to admire someone's beauty.

But something about you just lure her to indulge the mystery shrouding your existence.

Enter INHYUK who keeps on complimenting and expressing his gratitude towards you in helping Jiwoo.

Admittedly, he was a bit suspicious of your hidden agendas but instantly warmed up to you as days passed.

You've come to learn he also a hardcore cat lover, which is why you tend to give him the most random things relating to cats, whether it could be new food brand, toys etc.

Then there's KAYDEN BREAK.

Boy did he regret ever scouring the Earth just to find you.

You didn't change, especially about your Suicidal thoughts, that's one thing Kayden ever noticed about you.

He hated how you value your life so little, it's none of his business but it irks him whenever he witnessed you attempting all types of suicide as if it's just as intrinsic to you as his lungs expanding for a breath or his heart pumping blood through his veins.

You don't show any signs of depression or anything that caused you to willingly end your life. So why? Is it just for your own form of entertainment?

Your brunette hair is as long as he remembered, chocolate eyes that gleamed red whenever someone posed a threat to you, aka HIM.

He wonders about your clothing style but never prodded anything.

He wanted to ask you to quell his curiosity, he blames his cat instinct for the matter. But he was too much of a coward to even mutter a word to you without a profanity laced in them.

And that cycle continues until you told them.

"Man, what a lonely life without someone having the kind heart to join me in my passing." You theatrically expressed.

No one took you seriously, aside from Jiwoo who's constantly fretting over your well-being.

Your infamous phase made Kayden vividly remembered your last words to him before you disappear out of nowhere.

"Where are you going to next?" The Strongest Awakener nudged you with his paw as you were mulling over your next suicide attempt that you probably didn't hear what he asked.

Surprisingly, you did, "In Heaven or Hell. Depends."

Werp, he should have expected that useless answer.

Frowning, he jumped off the couch and fed his fellow cats, Kartein was fast asleep far away from you. Jiwoo is out with his friends.

"Why do you suddenly ask?" You readjust your sitting position and watch him pour tons of cat food in the bowl.

Immediately after, the cats began chowing down and it's only a matter of time before they finished up the entire bowl, "Just a general question. I have lots of them."

You weren't dumb to pick up his hints, he wants answers. ASAP

"Hmm, I don't have a set of destination." You vaguely replied, playing with the sleeping cat that has scars beside you.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He huffed as he went back beside you, "Is that also the reason why you vanished years ago 'cuz you can't navigate your way in life?"

You laughed half-heartedly, "Guilty as charged." There was an unspoken norm between the two of you.

In spite the differences, you were able to befriend with the Strongest Awakener.

He's like a fresh start to your devoid world. You have no presence or life. No amount of flowery adjectives or purple prose could truly pin down this bare void you feel burying itself into your chest, the longer you exist in Earth's orbit.

But now, there's an unknown ignition of fierce competition slash friendliness between the two of you. Whatever it is, you'd be damn to let that fire diminish without even flaming.

It was the next day when you suddenly vanished without a word to your new friends. Kayden and Kartein weren't surprised by this.

Jiwoo and the others are rather betrayed for your abrupt leave. Jiyoung also felt a bit disappointed your stay isn't permanent.

Kayden, however, has an unsuspecting hunch you'd be returning sooner than they thought.

A/N: Werp, that went well, I guess? Is this okay? PART 2 will come out in a few weeks. See y'all

>> PART II

©OTAKUWORKS | 2022

[love-toxin]

Waking up next to Eddie 🥺 pushing his unruly locks out of his face so you can see the sleepy squint he does when a ray of sunlight peaking through the blinds hits his face a certain way- Gently kissing all over his face to end with a sweet peck on his lips- Telling him that you’ll go fix coffee/tea and breakfast as he grumbles out a groggy response only for him to get up and follow you like a puppy to the kitchenette less than 15 minutes after you leave the bed- Him draping his entire body over yours to the point where you’re literally the only thing holding him up because you’re so warm :( and he loves you :( let’s just go back to bed :(

LORD. LORD!!!!!! sleepy, clingy eddie.....that hand stretching out and his fingers scratching lightly against the sheets, searching for you and falling limp with a depressed sigh when he realizes you're out of reach. it's warm in the bed but not warm enough, he has to drag himself to the edge and hobble on knock knees, still stiff from sleep, towards the kitchen. hand sweeping over the wall as he walks to partially find his way, because his vision's still bleary and his hair is so mussed from sleeping that it's in his face. when he finally reaches you, fingers touching you first against your waist, he just collapses into you from behind and slides his arms around you while you're pouring a cup of coffee. there's two there--one for you, one for him. but as sweet as it is, he doesn't need it right now. he reaches around you to take a sip out of courtesy, ignoring your sweet-spirited laugh as you remind him that it's still scalding, before he sets it back down and shuffles you back away from the counter. just gotta move you back to the bedroom, back into the warm embrace of your blankets on his bed--whatever needs doing today can wait. he just wants to sleep in with you, just a little longer.

[nanaooyoo]

cravity ot9 scenario

request for: @nctloverkpop. I switched up the themeing a bit but we came to an agreement about cravity scenarios wherein the boys help you get through a tough time. I had a lot of fun writing these and hope you and any one who sees this likes it and maybe feels comforted by it (sorry it took so long). Anyways enjoy ✨

warnings/headsup: discussions of mental health • no specific disorders named • depression • anxiety • woobin’s includes a very bloody lip • mentions of food • arguable depictions of self harm • hurt/comfort • 1.2k words average • 10.6k words total • gender neutral reader • angst if you squint • fluff • lightly proofread

couple scenarios: members x reader pt.I/I

❥Serim

      Serim sat at the edge of the bed. He watched as you paced back and forth across the multicolored rug you had picked out just a few weeks ago. You shook out your wrists and loosened your fingers as Serim slowly raised and lowered his arms trying his best to redirect your breathing.

      “In… and out… in… and out…” he tried his best to demonstrate and jog your memory on the techniques people had previously taught you. Today it was just taking a particularly long while. 

      “What’s the point! It’s not working!” You whined, continuing to pace the floor. 

      “It’ll work eventually, you just have to be patient.” Serim said. 

      “I don’t want eventually, I want now!” You mumbled to yourself, now stomping your feet on the carpet. “This sucks!” You moaned collapsing to the floor and rapidly chewing at your nails. 

      “It may suck but it’s totally normal.” Serim said “things are really hard on you right now, it makes sense to feel freaked out.”

      You groaned and clawed at your hair. Serim’s ability to remain calm in almost any situation where you felt like you were losing your goddamn mind was somehow both comforting and infuriating. “Oh. My. God.” You muttered angrily under your breath. You could feel the tension in your bones. It travelled through you and settled amidst each of your joints making you feel like a poorly made and fractured wooden doll. You felt internally rusted like the bumper on an old car. “You’re driving me insane.” You whispered under your breath as quietly as you could.

      “I heard that y’a know.”

      You looked up from your crouched over position on the floor to see Serim standing up from the bed and coming over to crouch down next to you. His refusal and near inability to ever get mad at you was something that made you truly love him. It was one of the many reasons you had asked him to move in with you and pick new furniture, and appliances, and rugs, and so so so much more… but it was also something unfamiliar. You weren’t used to someone being so unbothered by all of your moods. You weren’t used to him not batting an eye when your whole body locked up. You weren’t used to someone immediately trying to take action and not running in the other direction when your ploys for stress relief became self-destructive. You weren’t used to Serim.

      However you had to start getting used to him quickly, because he had already settled in with most of his stuff. You looked at him as he looked back at you, not a trace of animosity in his eyes. Serim simply waddled over to you, hunched over in the same position. With one hand lazily strewn across his knees and the other slowly patting your head. “Are you sure you don’t want to try the breathing again, and I mean actually try this time.” He looked at you expectantly waiting for some kind of response. Like two frogs squatting on a lily pad you two both sat there in silence for a moment. A very long moment. 

      You let out a long exasperated sigh and conceded “I’ll try the breathing exercises… again”.

      He didn’t do a very good job of hiding it but Serim did his best to conceal the fact that he was beaming on the inside.

      Later that night, the two of you had to sit down and have a long conversation about what it would be like living together. “As much as I love you and I want to be the one to take care of you, you know I can’t always be the one to remind you of what to do when you feel like you’re going to a dark place…” He said “Obviously I’m still going to be there for you… I just worry about what might happen when I’m gone for work or something” He confessed.

      “I know… and I don’t want you to worry about me. I just feel like I’ve been dealing with a lot lately and I’ve been taking it out on you.” Your voice was low and meek and you looked down while saying it. “I feel like I’m self sabotaging in more ways than one.” You admitted.

      “Well there’s nothing you could really do to sabotage our relationship.” Serim said earnestly reaching out a hand to grab yours and placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. “I just like you too much” he chuckled.

      It took a couple hours to get you to feel calm again. Serim had to pull your hands away from your mouth to stop you from chewing your nails down to minute nubs more times than he could count, but his ardent love for you would have him standing around and trying his best to keep your wits about you forever and ever. 

      No matter how many breakdowns, or meltdowns, or freakouts he had witnessed it wasn’t enough to deter him from you because Serim knew that you would do the same for him. Despite your near constant refusal to take care of your own mental health, he had experienced all the times you had looked out for his. The many times you put his needs above your own made any attempt on your part to try and scare him away totally futile. 

      Serim watched as you steadied your breathing, before taking out some of your frustration on all the cardboard boxes that needed to be broken down and taken to the recycling bin. Whenever it seemed like your blood pressure would begin to rise again Serim would simply give you a comforting hug from behind, resting his head between your neck and shoulders, humming softly; his aura just had a way of rubbing off on you. Did that mean that this would be the last time the two of you would ever have to have these sorts of conversations on these sorts of days? Absolutely not. But that din’t mean you couldn’t look forward to having them together…

❥Allen

     

You had run out of tears long ago but that didn’t stop you from sniffling through belabored breaths as you laid on the couch. Of course Allen stuck close behind. One arm wrapped around your waist and the other propping up his head to get a better view of the TV. 

      It didn’t take him long to realize you weren’t really crying at the cheesy movie splayed across the television screen. You were more wrapped up with something else. You swore it was nothing, and to you, that may have really been true! Sometimes you got emotional or overstimulated for reasons you couldn’t really understand, even if your boyfriend knew that there probably was some underlying specific reason. The reason didn’t always matter, what mattered was how you felt in the moment, and right now you felt… well neither of you were quite sure how to feel?

      “What’s wrong?” Allen whispered into your ear as he pulled you just a tiny bit closer. 

      “I really don’t know…” you said. You had been crying for so long that even if there was a reason for it in the first place you had forgotten it by now. 

      Allen snuggled closer to you as you did the same. Melting into his embrace and struggling to trace back the reason for your sadness, you still found it cathartic to let your emotions take over once in a blue moon. 

      Like a wave it washed over you at times though. You often had trouble experiencing your emotions but your emotions sure as hell had no trouble experiencing you. They had a way of taking you over that made it nearly impossible to focus on anything else while also making it incredibly difficult to pinpoint the triggers in the first place. 

      No matter what though, Allen always had a way of bringing you back to Earth. His calm and gentle demeanor, and carefree attitude made it so that you could always be yourself around him. Even if that self you needed to be wasn’t very pretty at times, he was always there taking notes and remembering things on how to help you better cope with your feelings the next time, and the next time…

      Sometimes your big heart and structureless brain hindered you, sometimes they made life harder. But sometimes those things brought you to people like Allen.

      The first time you ever cried in front of him felt mortifying! You were a complete blubbering mess and yet he still wanted to go out with you.

      “Everybody cries” he had told you, no sense of irony in his voice.

      “Yeah but I cry like… a lot” you responded.

      All he did was shrug. 

      Now here you two were, almost a year later and you were still a self prescribed crybaby. Though, Allen didn’t like it when you called your self that, he found it demeaning and reductive but he also could acknowledge that you did cry! A lot! Not that it made him like you any less it just made him want to look after for you extra hard. 

      Allen lightly patted your stomach in a delicate rhythm making sure to not pull too much attention to the ways in which he was trying to comfort you. Of course he was letting you cry (or at least try to) for as long as you needed and he hummed softly in time with his small taps, subtly helping you focus on something other than whatever thoughts were running around up in your head. He really was helping, you just didn’t realize it. He was so good at helping without you realizing in fact, that it took him a good amount of time to notice that you weren’t awake anymore. 

      “Hey do you want to maybe watch something else?” He asked no longer hearing sniffling and wondering if that would make you want to move on the something more cheerful. “Or do you want to… cry some more?” He asked quietly peeking his head over yours to get a good look at your face. “So cute” he audibly cooed seeing your puffy cheeks and eyes squished against the soft fabric of the couch with your mouth slightly agape. “You poor thing.” He said to himself with more affection in his voice than any sort of pity.

      Allen did his best to unlatch his arm from under you and move his legs that had found themselves intertwined with yours. He carefully wormed his way off of the couch and onto the carpet as quietly as possible. He reached an arm out to place it under your head and support your neck before pausing when you started fidgeting around again.

      You always were prone to talking in your sleep. “Allen…” you muttered unconsciously, repeating his name a few times before flopping over fully asleep and snoring again.

      Your boyfriend did the gentlemanly thing and supported your head before scooping you up and bringing you to his room. He made sure you were extra comfortable, covering every inch of you except the very top of your head in the biggest, fluffiest blanket he could find. You pawed at the blanket pulling it closer and Allen pushed some pillows into your arms as you began surrounding the pile of softness and fabric in your tight grip. You hugged them as if it were your boyfriend, none the wiser in your asleep state. Allen gave you a small peck on the part of your forehead that was still visible and quietly tiptoed out of the room.

He made sure to check on you every once in a while and rub your back or whisper something to you softly whenever you began tossing and turning again. He was used to regularly helping you fall back asleep when you had restless nights or night terrors so this was a walk in the park for him.

      The next morning you awoke to utter darkness before clawing your way out of the cocoon Allen had made for you. The sheer white curtains in his room billowed in the morning breeze as you rolled over and noticed a small glass of water and a little pharmacy bag on the nightstand next to you. You had no idea when he had the time to slip out and get those as it was still quite early in the morning but all that crying, and tossing, and turning always gave you the most viscous headache. You wasted no time in sitting up and taking the pain medicine from the little parcel and taking a big swig of water. 

      A few minutes later the door to his room ever so slightly creaked open as Allen did his best to quietly shimmy through the doorway. “Oh you’re awake! Sorry I didn’t get breakfast or anything I assumed you’d be out for a little while longer.” 

      You stuck out your bottom lip pouting and wordlessly outstretching both of your arms signaling with your hands for him to come over. He complied, hopping up onto the bed and giving you a giant bear hug. He pulled back to look at you as more tears welled up in your eyes but these ones were more positive. You always appreciated how caring Allen was, how quickly he would move to help you without a second thought and without him, you wondered how miserable an entire nighttime of crying alone followed by a morning of throbbing headaches you had to deal with all by yourself would have been. You hugged him tightly, showing your appreciation the best you could as Allen leaned back to wipe some of the tears out of your eyes, worry fading and turning into a quiet chuckle as he realized you were now mostly okay. 

      Allen looked over at his phone “yeah we’ve still got so much of the day left, do you want to sleep more?” You nodded and hugged him tighter planting a small kiss on his neck. “Do you want me to join you?” He asked. 

      “Of course!” you chimed, voice still groggy but incredibly sincere.

❥Jungmo

      Jungmo sat on the couch scrolling on his phone and playing with the collar of his tie as he waited for you to get ready. He hated having to dress up just to go to stuffy places and talk to a bunch of boring people and executives all night, but he had been invited to an upscale event and was required to go. At least he didn’t have to go alone, you were always down to join him in the things he found so boring, always whispering jokes and sharing drinks together in the corner of the room. He was excited to see what you would be wearing too! That was one of the few things helping him get excited for tonight. You were taking a little longer than usual to get ready but you also had an incredibly extensive closet and the biggest collection of accessories he had ever seen so he didn’t want to rush you. I mean, he didn’t want to rush you, but you guys were cutting it close if you took too much longer. “Y/N you almost done?” He asked walking over to the bathroom where you were supposed to be finishing up. “We can have like ten or fifteen more minutes but then we should probably g- Oh! You’re already ready!” He said barging into the bathroom and looking at you as your palms were placed flat on the counter and you stared into the mirror. “Wait, let me take a picture first, you look great!” He said excitedly. 

      You placed your hand over his phone and gently pushed it down. You shook your head and sighed. “No I don’t…” you trailed off.

      Jungmo looked baffled. “What do you mean? You look amazing!” He said standing a little closer.

      “Well I don’t feel amazing.” You retorted.

      Jungmo took a second to take you in. He looked you up and down and then cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. “Why not?” He asked. “I think you look incredible!” 

      You bowed your head and let out an exasperated groan. “Something’s just off… I just don’t look right.”

      To him you looked breathtaking! Gorgeous enough to make him forget you two were supposed to be somewhere else in a few minutes time. “What’s off?”

      “Just like… all of it!” A sad expression plastering your face. You rolled your eyes a bit every time you caught a glimpse of your own reflection in the bathroom mirror and huffed in annoyance at a problem you felt like couldn’t be fixed. “I can’t let anyone see me like this…” you said.

      “I see you like this-“ Jungmo replied “and I like what I see.” He smiled.

      “Yeah but your opinion doesn’t count you would have said that no matter what.”

      “My opinion should be the only one that counts!” He said “Especially when you’re being way too hard on yourself.” Jungmo rubbed small circles onto your back in an attempt to encourage you. “Where’s all this coming from? Do I not tell you how good you look enough?”

      “You tell me plenty!” You scoffed “it’s just something about this outfit, something about-“

      “Then we’ll change the outfit. You’ve got plenty of stuff in your closet you barely ever get to wear!” Jungmo grabbed your hand but you stood still as a statue stopping him from dragging you away.

      “That’s easy for you to say… you look great in everything.” You looked down at the floor.

Jungmo pouted. “The only reason I look good in everything is because you pick out all my clothes. I’d look a mess without you” he laughed.

      You nodded your head in acknowledgment but still you weren’t fully convinced “maybe you should just go without me.” 

      “Go without you, are you crazy?” Jungmo furrowed his brows in complete shock. “When could I ever- how could I ever go to one of these boring corporate events without you?” He boomed. “I’m your boyfriend! Either we’re both going or neither of us are going!” He said unusually sternly for his laid back nature. “It’s up to you whether you want to stay or you want to go but either way I’m doing it with you!” He said. “And if this is all just over one outfit that’s an easy fix. We can be late, let’s go pick something else out.”

      “Jungmo… I want to go with you I really do, but I just don’t want to drag you down…”

      “You have got to stop saying stuff like this” he said. “You look great! You always look great! Even if you’re not feeling great I promise you no one in the world can tell but you… and maybe me on a good day.” He joked. 

      “You really don’t think I look awful?” You asked genuinely worried.

      “It’s be impossible for you of all people to look awful.” 

      You sighed taking one more look back at yourself in the mirror. You still didn’t think you looked quite right and even just thinking of your reflection made you feel queasy, but if Jungmo thought you looked good then maybe you really did. You still wanted to change clothes though. The fabric all of a sudden felt constricting on your skin, it felt like a million tiny mites were crawling all over you. “Okay I’ll go change.” You said patting Jungmo’s chest and exiting the bathroom. He followed you out and to your bedroom where you began rifling through your closet looking for something else to wear that still matched your boyfriend and felt appropriate for the event. He stood there watching you for a moment.

      “Do you need any help?” He asked.

      “No, no I can do this myself. It’s more of a mental thing anyways, I won’t take too long”. You looked back for a second as Jungmo was still standing there watching you. “Can you go wait for me in the living room?” He didn’t budge.“Jungmo! Go wait outside.”

      He looked surprised “Oh you’re serious.

      “Yes I’m serious, I’m feeling kind of self conscious right now…” you said in earnest.

      “Why though, it’s nothing I haven’t seen befo- Ouch that hurt!” Jungmo said taking a wadded up dress shirt to the face. “Okay fine I’ll wait for you in the living room” he said trudging off and rubbing his eye in slight irritation. 

      A few minutes later you reappeared into the common area of the apartment dressed in all new clothes. Jungmo smiled and clutched his phone once more. “Better?” He asked.

      “Better!” you said.

      “Now can we take a picture?” His eyes gleamed with hope as he swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

      You hesitated for a moment. “Yeah sure, why not.” 

      Jungmo quickly grabbed your hand and raised his phone up to snap a few selfies of him kissing you on the cheek before you both rushed out the door. He still made sure to keep a tight clasp on your hand however. He also made sure to check in every so often as to how you were feeling. Most importantly, he made sure to keep reminding you of how good you looked all night. Even if you didn’t see it, even if you didn’t believe, even if your mind tried to convince you otherwise, Jungmo made sure to always be there as a ‘pick me up’ to make sure you were reminded of the reality right in front of you. The reality of having a partner that saw you for who you really were and would never falter when it came to reminding you of that.

❥Woobin

      You placed your hand on the arm rest of the passenger’s seat and tapped your fingers in quick and nervous succession as Woobin held your other hand and started up the car. He whistled along to the radio and swayed his head to whatever ‘summery’ ballad was currently playing and set up the navigation app on his phone in blissful ignorance.

      Since the weather had finally started warming up a mutual friend had invited the two of you over for a big get together. Though it was a relatively casual engagement, you still felt that all too familiar sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. The feeling you got every time you were about to ride a roller coaster, give a presentation, get lost on a hike, or in cases like these; go somewhere with a whole lot of people. You pulled at and fidgeted with the hem of your pants, letting go of the arm rest and aimlessly searching for some sort of cord or loose thread to pull on. You swallowed harshly feeling a lump form in your throat as Woobin absentmindedly rubbed his thumb across your knuckles with his free hand as he began to drive. 

      You could feel your heart rate rise as your body temperature did the same before quickly dropping again and again. You could’ve sworn you were sweating but turning on the A/C in the car felt like way too much. Your hands started to feel clammy as you looked over at Woobin who quickly glanced over to give you a warm smile before focusing his attention back on the road. His general sense of calm and the beautiful weather should have been enough to calm you down but it wasn’t really working. All you could focus on was the noise of tires scraping the road, the blaring music, the sunlight that was shining directly into your eyes, and how warm you felt. Or were you cold? You couldn’t really tell but what you knew for sure was that you did not feel good. 

      You almost started to feel nauseous as the car grazed over a tiny pot hole and your vision began to fog over a bit. You felt dizzy like you needed to sit down, but restless like you needed to just stand up and run all at the same time. You wanted to say something, and every time you looked over at Woobin you were almost compelled to, but for some reason or another the words just couldn’t escape your mouth.

      “Are you okay?” Woobin’s voice rang out a little delayed in your ears but eventually registering properly. 

      You felt sick, you felt like garbage, you felt terrible! So of course you replied quickly “yeah I’m doing fine, I’m excited!” You said practically through gritted teeth, a cheesy grin plastered on your face. Why you lied? You had no clear idea. What you did know was that lying to him made you feel worse. 

      You chewed at your lip furiously as you often did when feeling anxious. You let out fast paced yet silent breath out through your nose and tried your hardest not to tap your feet in frustration. Your lips felt near swollen but you couldn’t stop biting. You bit, and bit, and bit until all you could taste was the metallic tasting saliva pooling on the tip of your tongue. Before you knew it, you were looking down as small red droplets dripped from the bottom corner of your lip and into the creases amongst woven denim of your pants “shit” you muttered to yourself. You just sat there and watched for a moment in a silent daze before speaking up. “Uh Binnie can we stop the car?” 

      “Yeah sure. Why?” He replied quickly adjusting his turn signal and pulling over into the farthest possible lane without hesitation. 

      As soon as the car stopped you turned to make awkward eye contact with your partner as he gazed in worry at the beet red complexion of your lips. “What happened?” Woobin scrambled to grab some tissues out of the glove compartment and wipe at your face. “When did you start bleeding? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” He said eyes darting around looking for a cotton ball, or bandage, or anything of the sort. “Your jeans…” he said softly but still continued his frantic search.  

      “I think I’m gonna pass out.” you uttered plainly, stopping your partner in his tracks. You watched his dark brown eyes widen like saucers and then fill themselves with a new sense of determination!

      Before you knew it you were sitting on a curb by the side of the rode near some random convenience store. Woobin returned shortly thereafter with a cold bottle of water, a first aid kit, and some tissues. He wasted no time in fixing up your lip and taking some solvent from the first aid kit to wipe at the little stains on your pants. He worked diligently sitting on the curb next to you, an array of medical materials strewn about. Watching him so focused helped calm you down a little bit, but you still weren’t feeling entirely better. 

      “Are you hurt anywhere else?” He asked nervously searching every inch of visible skin he could find on you. 

      You grabbed his hands and looked him in the eyes. “Babe I’m okay now.”

      You could see the apprehension in the befuddled stare he gave you. 

      “Really, I mean it. I’m okay now!” You repeated.

      Woobin swallowed a little bit and took a moment to gauge the look in your eyes before crushing you with a hug and rubbing your back as you both sat on the ground by the car. “Alright I believe you” he said before letting go and giving you a second to catch your breath. 

      You two decided to take a moment to enjoy the fresh air before getting back into the car. It really was a beautiful day out. There was a perfect amount of breeze and just the two of you sitting together made you feel much more at ease. 

      You both enjoyed your time in the sunshine looking up at the sky and taking in the tranquil scenery. “Look at that one it kind of looks like a cuddly bear doesn’t it”. Woobin giggled pointing at a cluster of clouds arranged ever so perfectly in the shape of a bear’s head with two perfectly fluffy cheeks and round ears to match. Finally, the cars didn’t feel so loud, and the air didn’t feel so stuffy. Woobin pointed up at the sky while expertly unscrewing the cap and placing a bottle of water in your hands without you noticing.

      “Yeah it does, it looks a lot like you” you joked taking a swig of water and cooling down.

      About half an hour later the two of you had your fill of pointing out silly shapes in the clouds and had stopped back into the store to grab some well deserved treats. Re-positioning himself at the wheel, Woobin took his phone off the dashboard and slipped it into his pocket.

      “What about the party, don’t you need the directions up still?”

      “Nah… let’s just go home, you’ve had enough socializing for the day.” He said clasping your hand once more and giving you a knowing smile.

❥Wonjin

      “Alright… shower? Check. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Check. Room clean? Check-“

      “Do we really have to do this Wonjin”. You groaned loudly, leaning your head back over one of your dining room chairs as Wonjin sat across from you and peered at your contorted face through the top of the frames of his glasses. 

      He took a deep breath “Y/N we really do.” He said clicking his pen and running it down the different elements of a check list.

      “It feels so… silly It makes me feel like fucking kid!”

      “Well it works doesn’t it?” Wonjin said. 

      “Can’t we do something else? You know like a normal couple…”

      “We are a normal couple! We just have a system and the system works, so we have to keep doing it.” He replied not looking up from his official looking clip board.

      You sneered a little in response “Why though…”

      You and Wonjin had implemented a new process into both of your nightly routines where you would sit down and check off all of the necessary things you needed to do to function throughout any given day. Most of the things seemed intuitively simple but you and him both knew better than anyone else that one bad mood could send you into a spiral that prevented you from getting such simple things as grabbing the mail from your mailbox done once a week. If you were feeling down, you were dismal. It made it impossible for you to remember to take care of yourself when you had other things going on so Wonjin drafted up a list of some of the most basic things you needed to do each day. Things that came incredibly naturally to others but not so much to you. Wonjin made sure to get all the proper materials to make the process seem more legitimate to you. He got a special list typed up and laminated, dry erase markers for the fridge, brand new pens, a clipboard, sticky notes, and a tiny box full of trinkets and treats. You didn’t appreciate the machinations of his executive brain but that was okay, he was really proud of himself. He was especially proud with the box he had gotten. Not only would you get to reach in and grab a small reward each night but Wonjin would get one too if you completed all your tasks so that he could be more encouraged to help you. Not that he really needed any material incentive. This was something he would have done for you anyways, but making it a collaborative effort made you feel a little less alone. 

      The rewards inside the box were quite small but they were still enough to round out the rest of your night very positively. It was mostly full of stickers, charms, small bills, and little slips of paper with things like ‘have dessert a second time’ written on them. It was a crudely decorated little thing, covered in glitter glue and plastic gems with a picture from your anniversary stuck to the inside. The gifts may have been small but they still managed to brighten you up a bit even if you felt childish having to be monitored so closely. 

      You gave him a hard time about it but it really was helpful how Wonjin took the initiative in making sure you got things done. He got tired of always asking you about your day and not loving what he heard. At first you objected to the idea of a to do list being of any help to you and your mental health, but it was frustrating how well it worked. 

      Wonjin raised a single eyebrow and looked back over at you. “So I’m assuming you don’t want to pick anything from the special prize bin today?” He said.

      “It’s not a ‘special prize bin’ it’s a cheap wooden jewelry box from the craft store.” You said.

      “Well I’m gonna pick something from the special prize bin.” Wonjin made a big show of closing his eyes reaching into the box and rummaging his hand around in there for a while before pulling something out and immediately hiding it. He quickly hid his hands under the table and looked at something tucked away within his palms.  

      “What’d you get?” You asked slightly disinterested but still leaning over the table to better see what he grabbed.

      “Uh-uh, no way. You didn’t wanna pick anything” Wonjin said sticking out his tongue at you. “Not my fault you didn’t want a prize.”

      “If I pick something will you let me see what you got?” You asked.

      “I don’t know…” he said “I think you deserve a prize but if you don’t think you deserve one that’s not on me.”

      “I don’t deserve a prize for eating dinner…” you bit your lip and looked down. 

      “Of course you do! But I’m still not showing you what I got until you pick something…”

      “Fine.” You said reaching for the box. Wonjin excitedly cracked it open for you just enough to reach your hand in and mull around for something that felt… right. You dug around for a bit and pulled out a chunky metal heart charm. “Cute enough.” You said to yourself. “Now what did you get Wonjinnie?”

      Wonjin pouted and furrowed his brows. “Wait no I want to trade, you’ll like mine more anyways!” He said trying to grab the charm from you before you pulled your arms away. 

      “Since when have we ever done that?”

      “Since now!” He said brows still fervently knitted together. Wonjin placed a little gachapon figurine on the table and offered it to you. You weren’t exactly sure who or what it was, but you did recognize that it was a character from one of his favorite comics.

      “Why would I want something that was so clearly meant for you” you asked. “All I got was some like.. brecelet charm?”

      “Just because.” Wonjin said, and you noticed his face redden a bit. 

      “Okay, okay fine…” You said and handed over the charm. The figure was pretty cute anyways and it reminded you of your boyfriend, so it wasn’t a big deal.

      Wonjin would never admit why he was feeling so shy but he was glad you had just dismissed your prize and traded with him. If your eyes had been a little keener you might have noticed the small latch on the ‘charm’ you had picked out and realized it was actually a locket. Inside was a small picture of you as a kid smiling big, holding some sort of old stufffed animal. You hated looking at your childhood pictures for some reason, maybe because it brought back unpleasant memories, or maybe because it reminded you of a time in your life when you didn’t need a list to keep your mental stability in check, but Wonjin loved those pictures all the same. No matter how goofy you looked he loved them because he loved you and a little locket was the perfect gift to get him ready to do this all over again tomorrow. Even if you whined and complained, you just being here to complain, alive and well was what he really needed…

❥Minhee

      Chores were always a thing that calmed you down, and as much as he might’ve hated doing them… Minhee loved you more.

      You hadn’t spoken a word to each other in hours. You were diligently refolding and reorganizing each and every single article of clothing in your dresser drawers and closet. Why you had to be doing this on a beautiful Saturday afternoon he had no idea, but he was helping you anyway. 

      The weirder, more tedious, and unnecessary a chore was the bigger the issue you were currently dealing with. Sure it was a bit of a drag to be spending an hour and a half washing dishes, or in this instance multiple hours folding and ironing clothes but he preferred this to the ways you would try to divert stress when he had first met you. 

      Back then it would have been impossible for you to take breather without punishing yourself in some way but Minhee’s willingness to just tag along and do whatever you were already doing really helped you feel comfortable amidst the internal mayhem. For Minhee doing chores was a form of punishment but to you it was pure bliss.

      You would often have periods of time where you just couldn’t get words out, to anyone, no matter what they were or no matter why you wanted or needed to say to them, but as a quiet person himself, Minhee didn’t feel totally uncomfortable in the silence. He liked the way the two of you could just be together, existing in the same space simply able to enjoy each other’s company. For each of you the presence alone of the other felt so grounding.

      Minhee remembered a long time ago when you had told him that it was enough for him to just ‘be around’ and that made you feel better. It was then that his crush on you grew tenfold and he just knew he had to tell you about it. Of course he never did, he was too shy, but you guys had ended up together anyways!

      It was times like these, where he sat crosslegged in front of your tidy ironing board, creasing out only a few wrinkles on some your clothes, that he was reminded of how you truly felt about him without having to say it with words. Even when you were struggling and couldn’t find the strength to speak, the way your pinky would ever so slightly graze his when passing garments back and forth or how your eyes would shoot up and follow his every movement every time he got up to walk away.

      No matter what he would always say something along the lines of “Don’t worry I’m not going anywhere.”

      If Minhee said he’d be back in a minute, not even sixty-one seconds could pass before he would make his way back to you. It always broke his heart and simultaneously endeared him the way your puppy like eyes would wordlessly follow him around a room, or how still you’d sit upon waiting for him to come back. But he aways did come back, so you didn’t have to worry.

      Your fingers worked with an almost mathematical precision going through every t-shirt, every pair of pants, every button up, every pair of socks, everything! He never thought the time would come but eventually the two of you finished. 

      It almost startled him when you spoke for the first time in ages even though your voice was so soft and low. “Do you want me to do yours?” You asked genuinely, while placing the last piece of clothing onto a hook and shutting the closet door. 

      ‘Could you be any more adorable…’ He thought to himself. “That’s okay Y/N” He said and walked over squishing your cheeks between his palms and peppering kisses all across your face. “Do you wanna talk about why we just spent four hours reorganizing your already perfectly organized clothes?” He cocked his head to the side and looked down at you. “-And why you want to do even more…”

      You looked down in shame “I think I just want to be distracted right now. I feel like I need to be doing something… just anything…”

      Minhee understood what that meant. There were times when talking was helpful and very necessary and there were other times were those conversations needed to be put off until later. Sure it tore him up a little bit inside that you didn’t immediately feel comfortable telling him what was wrong but he also would much rather you be keeping yourself busy and enjoying his company than locking yourself away. There were times when you would be so far gone that even if he physically shook you, you couldn’t reach him. There were times when the silence wasn’t a comfortable understanding but rather, a sinister creeping energy that loomed over the both of you stopping you from being to able to experience anything in that moment. Sometimes it scared him the way your mind could so easily take you away from him, but it impressed him all the more when you could pull yourself out. He was always with you every step of the way, charging uphill to make you feel better. And if what would make you feel better right now was going through all of his laundry then that’s what the rest of this Saturday would be made to do. 

      “We can do mine… my hamper’s full of stuff anyways!” He said.

      “Thanks Minhee.” You said “Okay go get your basket, I’m already getting antsy!”

      You appreciated how easily he could flip the script and just go along with whatever you needed in that moment. “I owe you ice cream or something…” You said trying your best to sound chipper.

      Minhee trudged over with his enormous pile of laundry and gave you a playful scoff “You owe me more than just ice cream. You owe me whatever four hours worth of food is!”

      You let out a small laugh “I promise I’ll wake up early tomorrow morning and cook you something that takes at least four hours to make. You can enjoy your Sunday morning by sleeping in.”

      “Alright deal!” He said. Knowing full well that he would make himself wake up just as early as you so he could help you in the kitchen. “I’m toootally gonna enjoy sleeping in!”

❥Hyeongjun

You absolutely hated work! Not just work in general, but the work that you had to do specifically. Coming home from a long day at your job always left you drained. Your boss was always micromanaging, and your coworkers loved any and all types of gossip at your expense. It didn’t help that you were the youngest in the office either. It was nearly impossible to stick up for yourself without later receiving some sort of reprimand in the form of extra hours with no extra pay. Almost every weekday had you returning home absolutely exhausted. You’d slip your shoes off at the door and lazily slip your work attire off piece by piece leaving a trail of clothes on the floor before taking a nice long hot shower. After your shower, there was no guarantee you’d be energetic enough to make dinner so you’d rummage around in your fridge and just eat the first thing you saw. On particularly bad days you would immediately lay on the couch entering a state that was borderline catatonic. Some nights it felt like you only had time to lay on the couch for a minute and blink your eyes a few times. Before you knew it, the sky was a tiny bit brighter and the alarm on your phone was going off again signaling to you that it was now the start of another long day. Begrudgingly getting up and beginning to get ready was always incredibly difficult, but recently right before you walked out the door you would get a little text of encouragement every day. 

      You had only gone out on about three and a half dates (one of them was cut short due to a last minute call from your boss) but Hyeongjun was already so in tune with your schedule. It  might’ve partially been because you complained about work so much that he had just picked up on it that way, but his little digital pep-talks always had a way of putting a smile on your face. Even on the darkest of days. It’s like he sensed when a day was going to be more difficult than any of the others because his messages were always the sweetest the mornings right before you experienced hell. 

      Hyeongjun made you feel like color had re-entered the world. Life had felt so black and gray for so long and you couldn’t remember the last time you had been excited to talk to someone. He was always cheerful but not too cheerful, empathetic yet discerning, reasonable but always kind, and he had such a way with words. You didn’t think you’d ever find another person who could find the joy hidden beneath all your sadness but Hyeongjun seemed like the one.

      Even though you hated work you also hated the one break from work you got during the day. Your lunch break was usually spent sitting alone in your car for forty-five minutes staring off into space and waiting for the day to be done. Whenever you felt down you tended to lose your appetite and that had been the case the past couple of weeks. You knew you should have been hungry and you almost were, you could tell from the way your belly would growl every once in a while. However, your brain and the rest of your body just couldn’t and wouldn’t let you even stomach the thought of food. Sometimes you’d listen to the radio but other times you’d just sit there looking out the window but not really taking any of it in. Sometimes Hyeongjun would message you on your break to ask what you were eating or what you were doing to kill time and you couldn’t bring yourself to come up with a good enough lie, so you would just be honest and tell him ‘nothing’. It nearly baffled you how you could give him almost nothing, you could give him so little to work with and he could so easily keep the conversation going!

      You were sure today was going to be another one of those days. You sat at your desk entering some pointless data into a spreadsheet reminding yourself of one of the messages your crush had sent you that morning. You were already halfway through the day, you could do a few hours more right?

      Suddenly right before you were about to go on break you heard a series of little taps right above your head. You looked up to see Hyeongjun smiling widely at you, fingers gripping the top of your computer monitor. You looked around shocked for a second making sure that this was real. “What are you doing here?” You asked eyes wide. 

      “I’m here to hang out with you duh!” Hyeongjun stepped around your desk to grab your bag and sling it around his shoulder. He took your jacket off of the back of your uncomfortable office chair and held it out as if to put it on you.

      There were a few odd stares from your coworkers but they didn’t pay the two of you much mind. You stood up and let the boy happily put your jacket sleeves over your arms and give you a quick side hug. 

      Hyeongjun looked away shyly for a moment. “You seemed so bummed out over the phone yesterday I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.”

      You took a moment to think. Was it too early for things like this? Should you be more apprehensive? You felt uneasy for a moment but that feeling quickly dissipated as Hyeongjun flashed you a big toothy grin. “Of course I don’t mind” you said.

      Taking the elevator down was awkward in the same way sitting in class next to the person you liked as a kid was awkward. The butterflies in your abdomen danced and your stomach did acrobatic flips and Hyeongjun’s pinky inched closer and closer to yours before wrapping around your hand and holding it gently. He didn’t say a word but the way his lips pressed into a thin line to prevent him from smiling told you all you needed to know. You had no idea how he knew that a little bit of surprise and the slight change in routine was exactly what you needed to uplift your mood. Your outlook had been so bleak as of late and you weren’t sure who you could talk to about how you were feeling, but you were pretty sure the man holding your hand right now was a step in the right direction.

      Hyeongjun would never tell you but he had spent countless night just laying in his bed thinking about you and researching ways to help. Even if you didn’t say it out right he didn’t need to be told directly that you weren’t feeling like yourself for a very long time. You were complex and he felt like there was still a lot more of you to unpack and he planned on spending the next forty-five minutes getting you to open up to him whether you wanted to or not!

❥Taeyoung

     “I’m baaack!” Taeyoung shouted loudly hoping to get your attention as quickly and abruptly as possible. He thought it was sort of strange the way he didn’t immediately hear a response, but what he thought was even stranger was when he saw no tiny beam of light leaking out from underneath the bedroom door. Usually his sign that you were home was the little ray of light illuminating his feet as he approached your room but now it was just dark. Your shoes were by the door, keys hanging on the hook in the exact same way they were when he had left. Those seemed to be the only signs that you were probably even here. He went to quietly turn the doorknob tiptoeing and slinging his backpack over his shoulder to avoid the noise it made as it dragged on the hardwood floors. Maybe you were napping? It was getting dark outside but it was still only the late afternoon. Normally at this time, you were absorbed into a new book or something like that. However, upon entering the room things really were just as he had left them, you included. Curled up in the same amorphous blob, room pitch black, curtains drawn, phone plugged into the charger and resting on the nightstand. Taeyoung checked his watch to make sure the jet lag hadn’t completely screwed up his sense of time. He looked at the screen of his watch and then back at the giant mass of grey comforter on the bed. “Are you really sleeping it’s only like 4PM…” he said dropping his bag onto the now plush carpet beneath the bed and crawling up beside you. 

      He sat up on his knees and peeked over the pile of a person next to him and gently shook the covers to see if you were actually there. He could feel your form underneath the blanket but you still didn’t say anything, no release of breath, no snoring, no adorable sleepy mumbles… nothing! “Hey are you in a coma or something” he huffed playfully “you’re normally way more excited to see me!” That’s when he heard a small groan from under the covers, for a second he could have sworn it was the creak of the floorboards but now he was sure it was a noise from you. “I didn’t mean to bother you I just figured I’d come straight here since it’s been a- Oh!” 

      “Hey” you croaked out, voice hoarse and face mostly buried amid the covers. You turned over slowly to greet your boyfriend “How was the show?” You asked without the usual sense of genuine intrigue in your tone. 

      “It was… good. How’ve you been?” He said reaching over to move a bit of the comforter to ruffle your hair and pat your head. “You haven’t been like this since I left have you?” He chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in glee and then faltering a bit as you looked away and wearily bit your dry lips. 

      “When did you leave again?”

      “You haven’t been like this since I left? Right?” a smidgen of worry entering his tone and then a currant of realization. “Y/N, really?” a mix of familiar disappointment and general unease wafted over your boyfriend as he scooted closer and sighed. “The whole time?”

      “I mean I got up to like pee once. I think…”

      “Why didn’t you call me?” Taeyoung let a harsh breath escape his nose before running a hand through his already messy black hair. “You could have at least shot me a text...” He said bleakly.

      “I didn’t wanna bother you.”

      “When could you ever even begin to bother me?”

      Your face contorted in shame and you sunk deeper into the soft fabric adorning your body. “I meant to at one point, I really did, but then I just… I don’t know-” You inhaled deeply eyes narrowing, brain struggling to focus on the task at hand, and heart struggling to connect to the conversation. 

      “You know I hate when you don’t tell me when you’re feeling bad.” He said.

      “I just knew you’d probably try and like come home or something and I didn’t really feel like getting up to grab my phone.”

      “You didn’t want me to come home?” Taeyoung’s pupils enlarged slightly as he scoffed quietly.

      “Of course I wanted you to come home! I just didn’t want you to come home early!”

      “So you just laid down here in the dark for like-” He stopped himself as he felt his emotions bubbling over. You two complemented each other in that way but it also made things difficult at times.

      You were used to keeping things bottled up inside and Taeyoung was used to forcing you to talk about those things. Taeyoung was used to getting easily worked up and frustrated over the small stuff and you were used to offering some gentle perspective. He had a more aggressive approach to pulling you out of these “slumps” and it could come off as intense but he really just had no other way of showing you how much he cared. Sometimes he didn’t really get it. Sometimes he thought it would be so much easier for you to just get up, to just open the blinds, to just call him. It drove him crazy that he couldn’t be privy to all of the intricate details of your mind. It bothered him that a person so wonderful, so kind, so funny, and interesting, and charismatic, and personable… wasn’t able to share that with everyone all the time, especially with him. More than any bother though, more than frustration, more than annoyance, or anger, or any other negative emotion, you had helped Taeyoung further cultivate his arguably most beautiful trait; his empathy. Sure he was still a little shit stirrer every now and again but at the end of the day, seeing you just as upset over something you couldn’t control, how your mind and body were at odds constantly telling you that the one person who loved you most in this world shouldn’t be bothered with your issues made him just want to help you the best he could.

      Taeyoung took a deep breath “Let’s go for a walk while the sun’s still out, how about that.” He suggested. “Also maybe shower first…”

      You wanted to object but as you mulled over your answer your boyfriend couldn’t help but reach his hands under the duvet to try and pull you out, tickling you in the process. 

      “Okay, okay!” You laughed as Taeyoung giggled and continued to try and pull you out. “I can get up myself jeez…” You still weren’t feeling your best but the hopeful look on the man beside you’s face made you want to make him happy. 

      “Sorry for raising my voice at you I just wanted to make sure you were okay and I freaked out seeing you so-”

      You cut him off “it’s okay, I’ll be okay. I’ve just been really tired and stuff. I should have called you.”

      “Next time…” Taeyoung said as you sat up and he tackled you into a tight hug. “Maybe we can even lay here together for a couple more minutes, better yet let’s just go on a walk tomorrow I’m tired too…”

❥Seongmin

“Are you gonna be done soon…” Seongmin asked cheek pressed against the doorway and lips pursed in minor annoyance. 

      More than annoyance however, he felt concern. His face squished against the wooden frame of the entrance to your makeshift office (the desk in the corner or your shared bedroom). Normally this would have been about the fifth time in the hour Seongmin would come over to disturb you while you were working, but this past week and a half had been pretty different. He had seen you like this before, completely absorbed in your work, tired and distracted… but now it felt more like you were purposefully over working yourself. You weren’t just absorbed in work, but completely overwhelmed by it, more than tired you were utterly sleep deprived, you weren’t even really distracted you were just distracted when it came to him. Seongmin was pretty used to having your undivided attention or at the very least viciously demanding it. You found it cute the way he always wanted to be at your side making you laugh or just watching your expressions as you listened to a story he told. It was one of the reasons he loved you so much. Your willingness to include each other in just about anything the other was doing without it even really being necessary was what endeared him to you in the first place. Though, that made it all the more upsetting when you couldn’t or rather wouldn’t include each other in something.

      When you had started your relationship Seongmin remembered you telling him you were a difficult partner. That often times it felt like your brain would grow legs and start running faster than you could keep up. That you would become physically and psychologically exhausted out of the blue. He thought it was silly how you would think your own personal struggles would deter him from wanting to be with you, but he quickly realized that even the brightest smile and silliest nudge in the right direction wouldn’t be enough to pull you out of a spiral once it started. It wasn’t impossible, not in the slightest, but Seongmin did really have to try. He had to try and be delicate with his words, careful with his actions, and very intentional about the way he would attempt to help you. He remembered you saying it wasn’t always about just trying to cheer you up but just noticing before things got too bad. Now he was noticing, and remembering the last time he saw you like this.

      “Do you want to eat dinner… or like… take a break?” Seongmin asked. Gentle voice ringing throughout the room and eventually echoing through the nearly silent apartment. “You know you have to respond to me eventually.” He huffed stopping before he got frustrated. 

      All he got was a sort of muffled “sorry” from you in response as you kept clacking away at your computer.

      He slowly unstuck his face from the doorframe “is typing more important than me?” approaching slowly and cracking a smile he reached his arms out to not only try and softly grab your shoulders but also to steady himself while sauntering over the sea of loose papers and piles of books strewn about the floor. “I was making a gentle suggestion before but now I’m serious! It’s time to take a break Y/N!” Seongmin rested his hands at either side of you just beside your neck and placed his thumbs right by your shoulder blades. He used his remaining fingers to lift up your chin and straighten out your posture a bit. “You haven’t looked me in the eyes in like two days.” Adjusting your chin more he leaned over to look at you flashing his signature puppy eyes, dark brown and sparkling as you returned his gaze. 

      You finally looked back at him letting him take in the bags under your eyes, visible even in the dim yellow glow reflected from your beat up desk lamp. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration isn’t it”. You said smiling dryly and stifling a yawn. 

      “Not really…” His reply had tinge of genuine sadness to it but he tried his best to hide it with another smile.

      You spun around in your chair to face him better. “Sorry” you said again, this time a little clearer. “I just… have a lot of work to get done. Once I start it feels like I can’t stop.” You looked off into the distance, avoiding your partner’s eyes as you spoke. “I just feel like if I stop I’ll feel worse and I already have a lot of stuff to do so I just need to keep going, I just-” you furrowed your brows and narrowed your gaze as if trying to remember what it was that had originally glued you to this chair a couple days ago. “-I need to…” you trailed off.

      “You need to take a break.” Seongmin said in all seriousness “right now”. He reached down to clasp your hands in his, and prevent you from turning around and working again.

      That was enough to bring some clarity to you and remind you of what it felt like to be present again. You had spent so many hours tucked away in this room for seemingly no reason that Seongmin’s plain gaze and soft yet firm grip around your fingers helped to un-numb your senses. A wave of hunger, thirst, fatigue, and an ache in your upper body from sitting in the same position for so long hit you all at once. “Shit I feel awful…” you said to yourself “and kind of stupid, I don’t know why I do that.”

      Seongmin leaned down and placed a little kiss on your nose. “You’re not stupid, just silly”. He chuckled waving a hand in front of your face “welcome to earth, it’s good to have you back!” 

      You smiled in embarrassment and bit your lip anxiously. “It hasn’t really been two days has it?”

      Noticing the slight worry in your eyes and the way your fingers started to twitch in his hands, Seongmin decided to forgo the truth. “No! No! It’s only been like… I was exaggerating before it’s been like… Hey! Do you want to order food you must be really hungry!”

      “I mean I thought…” your mind was a bit foggy but what he was saying didn’t seem right. Then the mention of ordering food settled into your mind and that did seem right. “Oh yeah, I’m totally starving!” 

      “Let me go get my phone.” Seongmin ruffled your hair a bit and then rushed out and before you could even blink, he was pulling you out of your chair and onto the bed to sit and browse his food delivery app. The dark circles were still ever-present under your eyes and you looked a bit haggard but as your face scanned his phone, no longer absorbed in work, a genuine smile on your face, light returning to your being he thought you looked really beautiful. Rubbing small circles on your back he reminded himself to remember this for next time, because no matter how awful it seemed there would always be a next time and that was okay…

-🍌🍶

[sarahsmi13s]

Sirens vs Soulmates

(not my gif)

jake ‘hangman’ seresin x floyd!hunter!reader

characters: jake seresin, y/n floyd, robert floyd, dean winchester, sam winchester, bradley bradshaw, the dagger squad, castiel, oc! jimmy (he’s the medical examiner

warnings: THIS FIC IS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, language, death, suicide, depression, insecurites, cheating, SMUT, blood, legal age drinking, knives, guns, cannon violence, soulmates, i’m sorry if i missed any, please let me know and I will add it to the list

word count: ~12.6k 

a/n: this is a supernatural/top gun crossover fic, this was inspired by @fandomxpreferences and this post and i hope i did the idea justice

lightly proof read

while this could be considered a soulmate au, it’s not as obvious as some

like mentioned in the warning, this fic contains sensitive themes, reader discrection is advised

************

Dean yanked open the car door, letting your head drop. “Fuck!” You hissed when the movement startled you awake.

“Get up, we’re here,” he gruffed out, adjusting his suit jacket. You sat up, flipping him off as you rolled your neck, trying to release the tension caused by your awkward sleeping angle.

You got out of the car, stretching your back and checking your badge. “NCIS Special Agent Gibbs?” You arched an eyebrow at both Winchesters. “Are you trying to get us caught?” “You don’t even know our names yet,” Dean retorted defensively.

Sliding your badge into your jean pocket, you held out your other hand for theirs. “Well, show me.” Sam chuckled and slapped his badge into your hand. You opened it and looked over his credentials. “NCIS Special Agent Sam David?” You pronounced it ‘David’ and not ‘Da-veed’. He nodded, “Helps to keep it a little less suspicious.” You hummed and held your hand out for Dean’s.

He arched a challenging brow, hoping you would drop it. But you pressed and arched a brow right back. He held your eye contact, his eyes cutting as he squinted hoping to intimidate you. You held it, eyes squinting slightly as you held your chin high.

Finally his resolve broke and he rolled his eyes, fishing his badge out of his jacket pocket.

“That wasn’t so hard was it.” You smirked and opened it, “NCIS Special Agent Dean Shepard.” You scoffed and tossed it to him. “Wow, okay. Let’s just get these autopsy results before real NCIS Agents get here.”

You walked ahead going right in with the brothers trailing behind you.

Flashing the badge to the receptionist, “NCIS Special Agent Gibbs. My partners and I are here to talk to the ME. He knows we’re coming.” You made sure to add authority to your voice to show you wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer and that you meant business. Sam and Dean flashed their badges and you were immediately brought back.

“I was wondering when NCIS was gonna show up. Who’s in charge?” Dean stepped forward, “That would be-” The ME shook his head, “No. You’re not in charge.” He looked at you, “You must be Agent Gibbs?”

You fought a smirk and walked forward, “Yeah. That’s me.” You gestured to the latest victim, a young Naval aviator, “Cause of death the same as the other victims?” He nodded, “Yup, gunshot to the temple, gun residue on his dominant hand.” “So why were you waiting on NCIS if you confirmed it a suicide?” You crossed your arms. “Because none of these sailors have a history of depression or suicidal tendencies. And I already told you over the phone Y/N, that I found high levels of oxytocin in all 4 sailors. We both know it’s a siren.”

The brothers shared a confused look behind you.

Sam spoke first, “Hold on, so you know each other?” You nodded, “Went to high school in Wyoming together. Our fathers were best friends, and they went on hunts pretty often.” Sam scoffed, impressed by you. Dean smirked, also impressed but a little upset you didn’t tell them you knew more than you let on.

“You didn’t think to tell us you knew what was happening?” Dean asked, hands on his hips. “Honestly, Dean, I'm surprised you didn’t make the siren joke beforehand. Cause if you had, I might have said something.”

You turned back to your friend, “Jimmy, do you know where sailors and pilots usually like to hang out? Let off some steam?” He nodded, “Yeah, The Hard Deck. It’s the bar closest to the Air Base. You’ll be greeted by a sea of khaki when you walk in.” You nodded, “Thank you, I’ll keep in touch.”

All three of you left and went to the car.

“You’ve got friends in high places Y/N,” Sam said, a smirk on his face as he opened his door. “Oh you don’t even know the half of it.”

Dean turned to you once you slid into the backseat, “How do you have great relations with these people? Everywhere we go, some agent or officer is trying to arrest or kill us.” You shrugged, “I just have a way with people I guess. I try to work with the law instead of against it.”

“You just tell people you’re hunting monsters?” You shrugged, “When you’re in rural areas, they have folklore, use that to your advantage. But in others you just have to either work with the law or let them get themselves into trouble and save their ass.”

Dean rolled his eyes and drove to the bar.

******

When you pulled in you shucked your jacket and gun, but held onto your badge.

“Hey, your gun?” Dean questioned, not seeing it in your waistband when you adjusted your white shirt. You shook your head, “I don’t need it. This is a bar full of Navy personnel, and I’ve had my fair share of bar fights. I think I’ll be fine.”

Dean looked at Sam, thinking maybe he could talk some sense into you. But Sam only shrugged and laughed. “Dean, we literally pulled her out of a bar fight the first time we met her. She’s fine.”  Dean grumbled, not pleased with the fact that you just went in places unarmed considering you knew what lurked in the shadows.

****

You walked in, giving polite nods to the older officers that were in the room and going right up to the bar.

Penny noticed you and came over, “Hi, what can I get you?” You smiled at her, pulling out your badge, “Not drinking tonight. But is it possible if I could ask you a few questions?” She did a quick once over of the bar, “Of course, what do you need to know?” You pulled out the photos of the dead sailors and pilot. “Did you see any of these men here in the past few weeks?” She frowned, “Yes, I did. They were regulars, nice guys -a little cocky- but nice. Shame what happened, they never once gave the impression of being depressed.”

She wiped down the table out of habit. “Why is NCIS looking into suicides?” You leaned against the bar, “Well, we think it may not have been suicides.” She nodded, humming a little, “Anything I can do to help?” You nodded, “Did any of them leave with someone the night they died? Someone they didn’t arrive with?” Penny shrugged, “I’m not sure. Except Lieutenant Crole did leave with a woman pretty early in the night. She came over to him and they hit it off.” “Did you catch her name?” “Haley? Hannah? Something like that.”

“Penny, m’dear,” a voice drawled next to you. “Could I get another round?” You looked over to find a taller man around 6 foot -maybe- with tan skin, sun bleached hair, and striking green eyes. He noticed you looking and smirked at you, “And, uh, whatever she’s having can go on my tab.” You huffed out a laugh, holding up your badge again. “Sorry, cowboy, I’m afraid I can’t tonight.” He frowned a little, “Shame, maybe some other time.” He winked at you and something stirred in your chest.

Penny came back with a tray loaded with bottles. She smirked a little at the interaction happening in front of her, “Hangman, this is Agent…” You held your hand out for him to shake, “Gibbs.” Jake gave you an amused look and shook your hand, “Like the show?” You sighed, smiling a little, “Yeah, like the show.” “Well, let’s hope you’re not as rough around the edges.” You hummed a little, “Rougher.” “Now you’re teasin’ me.”

“Agent Gibbs was asking about those sailors,” Penny prompted him. “Oh the ones that committed suicide?” “Well, we’re thinking it may not be suicide. Did you know any of them?” He shrugged, gathering the drinks, “Knew of them, didn’t know them personally. But some members of my team did.” You eyed the drinks, “Here, let me help you.” You grabbed a few and followed him over.

You both sat the drinks down. “Thanks for the help.” “No problem Lieutenant.” You wiped the condensation on your jeans as you turned around and began to go meet Sam and Dean at the bartop.

“Who’s your friend?” You heard someone ask from behind you, making you stop. “Oh, this is Special Agent Gibbs with NCIS,” Hangman introduced with a smirk, knowing he roped you into the little group.

You turned and nodded to the group, “Hi.” You felt extremely shy and out of your element all of sudden, being under the eyes of at least 7 or so pilots.

“Agent, this is my team. The guy with the pornstache is Rooster, next to him is Phoenix, that’s my best friend Coyote, they’re Payback and Fanboy, and that little wallflower over there is Bob,” Hangman introduced the group by their call signs.

You scanned the group as he did so, waving back when they waved. But when he got to Bob, your stomach turned. “Shit,” you huffed out quietly.

If Hangman heard you, he didn’t acknowledge it. “Agent Gibbs is here investigating the deaths of those sailors and Lieutenant Crole.” “The suicides?” You pulled your eyes from your brother and nodded at the man introduced as Fanboy, “We’re thinking it may not be as simple as it looks. 4 in the course of a month, all in the same fashion… We just want to cover our bases.”

You pulled out a card, “If any of you know anything, you can contact me here.” You dropped it onto the table allowing them to do whatever with it.

“Hey, Floyd, weren’t you close with Petty Officer Chase?” Phoenix asked her backseater, leaning on her pool cue. Bob looked down at his cup of peanuts, “Yeah, I was. We were on the same carrier for a deployment I was on.” You looked at him, “Would you be comfortable answering some questions?” Bob looked up holding eye contact with you and he nodded, but you could see it in his eyes that he wasn’t happy.

You walked over to an area that was close to the group but secluded enough that they wouldn’t hear.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He hissed out, pushing his glasses up. “I’m supposed to be asking the questions here Robert.” “Okay, ask them.” “Do you know who he left with the night he died?” “Y/N, this isn’t the type of case you think it is.” You put your hands on your hips, “Robby, Jimmy found raised levels of oxytocin in their system. It’s exactly what I think it is.” “Just because they had sex before they died doesn’t mean it’s a monster.” You tossed your arms out to your side, “Who offs themselves right after sex, Bob?”

He placed his hands on your shoulders to try and get his point across, which caught the attention of the two brothers at the bar. “Shit, Dean-” Sam got his attention and Dean looked over, “Son of a bitch.” They got up and headed your way.

Bradley clocked the two hunters, seeing the looks on their faces and following their line of sight. “Hey, Hangman, they’re headed towards Floyd.” “Son of a bitch.” They put their cues down and cut off the Winchesters.

Jake and Bradley were toe-to-toe with Dean and Sam.

“Lieutenants,” Sam greeted, nodding to them but his eyes were looking around Rooster at you and Bob. Both tried to walk around the pilots but they stepped with them. “We can’t let you do that,” Jake said, holding intense eye contact with Dean, matching the determined expression. “That’s our teammate and he’s in a very serious conversation with someone.”

Dean pulled his badge out, frustrated, “Yeah with our boss.” Sam called out to you, holding eye contact with Bradley, “Y/N? Everything okay over there?”

“Bobby, you know I’m right,” you managed to say before Sam caught your attention. You turned, seeing both brothers staring down the two pilots. “Yeah, I’m fine Sam.” Bob turned you around by your shoulder, “You’re working with the fucking Winchesters?” “Who I work with is none of your business.”

You sighed, “Look, I’m not gonna ask for your help. I know this isn’t the life you wanted. But you need to let me do my job.” He rested his hands on his hips, huffing out a defeated sigh. You smiled, “Just watch your six, okay? And keep an eye out for your team.” “Don’t do anything stupid.” You chuckled and walked towards the four men, “No promises Robby.”

When you walked over, you had to fight the urge to laugh seeing the men staring each other down.

“Do we have a problem?” You asked, crossing your arms and arching a brow. They stepped away from each other. “No, Agent Gibbs, no problem here,” Rooster said, going back to the pool table. You looked at Jake, expecting an answer from him as well. “Everything’s just peachy, Agent.” He walked past you, winking as he passed.

You rolled your eyes, a small smirk tugging at your lips as you shook your head. You looked at Sam and Dean, and pointed to the door, “Outside.”

Once you were outside, you threw your arms out to the side. “What the hell was that?” Sam scoffed, “He put his hands on you. We didn’t need you getting-” “He’s my brother. He wasn’t trying to pick a fight.”

Dean held up a hand, “Wait, you have a brother?” You nodded, “That’s what I said.” “And he’s in the Navy?” You nodded, “Yeah, joined right out of high school.” “He left you?” “Dean, he doesn’t want this life. Our dad wasn’t going to hold him back from what he truly wanted to do. He just made sure that he could protect himself.” He scoffed, “Must be nice.”

You rolled your eyes, “Let’s just go to the motel. Gather intel and I’ll try to figure out if any of the victims had anything in common with each other. Then I’ll go and try to spot the siren in the bar.” “Why you? Why not one of us?” Sam asked. “Because my uncle told me all about that one time you both encountered a siren and nearly killed each other. I’m not letting you anywhere near this one.”

You got in the car without another word and they followed.

*******

Sam hung up the phone. “Okay so that was Petty Officer Langdon’s commanding officer and he said that Langdon didn’t give any sign of being depressed, if anything he was overly confident and very sure of himself. But that can often be a defense mechanism, so we can’t be sure he didn’t talk to family or friends about how he was feeling.”

You groaned, rubbing your face. This was going to take a while if you didn’t have someone on the inside. You threw your head back and blinked at the ceiling, “Okay, we need to get in contact with the families of those we can and talk to their coworkers.”

Dean swirled his beer in the bottle, “You know. People tell their secrets to bartenders all the time, maybe that Penny is our siren.” You nearly laughed, “I already looked into it, Penny’s been running that bar for three years. She's got a daughter and is currently in the process of getting married to a naval captain. But nice try.”

You got up and grabbed your things. “Okay, I’m gonna turn in, tomorrow I’ll get stuff together and talk to the families. You both can talk to the coworkers.” “Since when are you in charge?” Dean asked. “The moment I found out my brother was here.”

*******

You walked into Sam and Dean’s motel room, “Okay, that went better than I thought.” “Well, you seem to be the only one,” Sam huffed out, rubbing his forehead. Dean slammed the fridge and leaned against it and drank from his bottle, “Yeah, turns out, guys don’t talk about their feelings. Especially military men- feelings aren’t really their thing.” You scoffed, “Feelings aren’t your thing either Dean.”

He rolled his eyes, “What did you find out?” You sat on the back of the couch, crossing your arms, “Sailors may not tell their friends about their problems, but they tell their siblings.”

“Turns out, each of these sailors experienced a pretty bad break up a few months ago. All at different times of course. They were all cheated on, while on deployment,” you explained. “They confided in their younger siblings, saying that being gone all the time made it hard and that they felt it was deserved. Really sad honestly.”

Dean nodded, “So, we just need to keep an eye on those moping or showing out at the bar and follow them when they leave.” He shrugged, sitting his drink down, “Sounds simple enough.” He started to change.

You arched a brow at him, “Where are you going?” He paused, “The bar.” “Well, good luck because it’s Sunday and the Hard Deck’s closed on Sundays,” Sam smugly said with a smirk. Dean tossed his hands out to the side, “There are other bars aren’t there?” “Not sailor bars,” you said, looking down at your boots.

Dean shrugged off his jacket, “You guys are no fun.”

*******

“Hey Bob?”

Bob lifted his head from his book, “Yeah Hangman?” “You seemed pretty close with Agent Gibbs the other night,” Jake lifted a suggestive brow, playing with the pencil in his hand. Bob’s brow furrowed and he pushed his glasses up, “How do you mean?” Jake shrugged, “Oh I don’t know. She called you ‘Robert’ and you called her ‘Y/N’, I’d say that’s pretty close.”

Bradley laughed from his seat, “Why do you care so mu-” His mouth dropped, “Oh shit, you’ve got a thing for an NCIS Special Agent!” Bob’s eyes widened. “Did you see her? Those jeans fit her in all the right ways-” “She would kick your ass, Bagman,” Rooster howled out another laugh.

But the jab only made him smirk, “Well, maybe I like ‘em that way.”  

That made the WSO cringe, “Gross. I don’t need to know about your preferences, Seresin.” “Are you datin’ her Floyd? Cause if you are I’ll take my eyes elsewhere.” “No, I’m not dating her. We grew up together, she’s like a sister to me.” He started reading again.

Jake shared a look with Bradley, who just rolled his eyes.

********

You watched your flair bottom jeans slide over your lace underwear in the mirror, “Damn my ass looks great in these jeans.”

Sitting on the bed you grabbed your cowboy boots and slipped them on.

“Hey, Y/N- WOAH!” Sam covered his eyes with his hand. You looked up at him, confused for a moment before realizing you still only had a bra on your top half. Dean walked in, “Nice bra.” “Thanks.”

You dug in your bag for a silk, sage green button up.

Once it was slid over your shoulders, you told Sam he was fine to look.

“So, what’s the plan?” He asked, hands on his hips. You buttoned the shirt and tucked it in, “Well, we go to the Hard Deck, and we watch for anything suspicious.” You fixed your hair and touched up your makeup. “I’m gonna keep my eye on my brother and-” “Lieutenant Seresin?” Dean asked, eyebrow raised as his voice took on a lilt.

“Well yeah,” you slid your hands into your back pockets. “He’s just as much at risk as any of the others. Why’d you say it like that?” Dean scoffed, “You don’t think we noticed the way you both were looking at each other the other night.” You rolled your eyes, “I don’t know what you think you saw. But we’re here to work a case, not get laid.”

Dean chuckled as you walked past him to get your things, “Sounds like you need to get laid, Y/N.” You glared at him, “Shut up.”

You slid your gun into your purse, “I’ll see you there.” You adjusted your shirt how you wanted it and grabbed your keys. “Oh, will you make sure to go get those samples? I called Jimmy earlier, he’s expecting you guys.”

********

Jake was sitting at the bar, talking to a girl.

He couldn’t help but to think, This girl is perfect. She understands me, likes the same music I do. Likes the same drinks I do. She likes pool.

But something was off.

She wasn’t you.

Jake wasn’t sure what it was, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you. While he hadn’t shown it, he felt this sense of clarity when he met you. This connection. Call him crazy if you want – but he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

Which is why he was nearly bursting at the seams when he saw you walk in.

He was so enamored with you that he didn’t see the girl switch their beer bottles. “Hey, Lieutenant, how about a game-” “Hey, look, this was fun and all, but I don’t see us going any further tonight. Both of these drinks are on me,” Jake slapped a fifty on the table. “Get yourself whatever with the change.”

And just like that he was walking away from the bar and towards you.

*****

You looked around, looking for anything suspicious when Hangman entered your field of view.

“What do we have here? Agent Gibbs, good to see you again,” he sent you an award winning smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling just a little. “Lieutenant Seresin,” you looked him up and down, those khakis hugged him just right. “See something you like?” You smirked, “Yeah, the bar.”

You let your fingers brush his bicep as you walked past adding a little swing in your step, drawing Hangman’s eyes straight to your ass.

He quickly followed after you, saddling up right next to you at the bar. “Penny, m’dear,” he grabbed the woman’s attention. “Can I get another beer and uh- whatever she’s having goes on my tab.” She nodded, wiping out a glass and looking at you, “What can I get you?” You smiled, “Bourbon, neat please.”

Jake’s brows lifted and he smirked, “A woman after my own heart. So, I take it you aren’t on the job?” “I’m always on the job, Lieutenant. But I thought no harm can come in letting loose for a bit.” Jake barely suppressed the groan when you called him ‘Lieutenant’, and you apparently heard it because you smirked.

Penny brought your drinks by and Jake sat down.

“So, any luck?” He asked, sipping his drink. You sipped yours, shaking your head a little, “Nothing yet. But we’re doing what we can.” “Anything I can do to help?” You looked at him. “Agent-” “Y/N, you can call me Y/N.” He smiled a little, “Y/N, I may not have known these men but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. Their families deserve the truth.”

You smiled at him, “Well, Lieutenant-” “Jake, you can call me Jake,” he said with a small smirk. “Jake,” you tested it out and he smiled. “Tell me what you know, or what you heard about them before their deaths.”

*******

You and Jake spent some time talking about the sailors and you mentioned them being cheated on.

“Oh, yeah, I think I heard Lieutenant Crole say something about that. He came home to find her and some other guy.” You nodded, “Yeah. He took it pretty hard according to his brother.” Jake nodded, “It sucks. Not being able to start a family. Worried that when you come home they won’t be waiting for you, or they will be, just in the arms of someone else.”

You frowned, eyeing him in concern, “You sound like you speak from experience.” He frowned and shook his head a little, sipping his drink, “My mom was in the service, Marines. My dad cheated on her a lot…” It was silent for a moment before Jake cleared his throat, “Which is why I’m not one for settling down, at least not for a while.” You nodded, “I can relate. Being away all the time isn’t easy. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in a case I forget what’s waiting for me at home…”

That wasn’t a lie. You did get wrapped up in cases, get personally involved. You had a significant other at one time, and they were great. But you had a really close call one time and they couldn’t take the constant worrying, so they left. Only to turn up dead because a werewolf had gotten to them to get back at you.

You quickly moved past the subject to continue talking, moving on from the sailors to yourselves.

********

A few hours later, you and Jake got into a competitive game of darts.

“Okay, if I get three in a row, you let me take you out?” Jake offered, nodding towards the dart board. You hummed, looking over his face, “That’s a big bet.” He shrugged, “I’m confident.” You smiled, “Okay, I’ll bite.” He smirked at you and readied a dart. “But if I get three in a row, I get to see what you’re hiding under those khakis,” you looked at him through your lashes, bringing a sultriness into your tone.

His brows lifted in amusement, “Well, what if we both get three in a row?” “Then everyone wins.” You winked and could see him shudder slightly before he covered it with a smirk.

He threw the darts, landing three in a row.

Jake looked down at you, “Where would you like to go?” He smirked and went to collect the darts.

You took them from him, rolling them in your hands slightly. He arched his brow, waiting for your response. You smiled and turned to the board, throwing each dart.

All three hit the middle.

You turned back to Jake, your hand flattening on his chest, “Why don’t we discuss it in the morning-” You got on your toes to talk in his ear, “Lieutenant.” You could have sworn he whimpered, but he definitely brought his hands to grip your hips.

You turned to look in his eyes, “Meet me outside.”

Jake nodded obediently and nearly kissed you when you mumbled the command against his lips.

******

After Jake bid his farewells to the squad, he immediately placed you in his truck and took you to his on base house.

As soon as you were in the door, Jake was pressing you against the wall. Your hands were immediately in his hair, pulling him even closer to you. He brought a hand up to cup your face and the other wrapped around your waist as he hoisted you onto your toes.

He pressed his lips to yours slowly, completely contrasting the way both hastily came into the home. Your lips worked together and it was sweet, but you needed more.

You pressed your tongue against his lips, moaning when he granted you entrance. You pushed your chest up, needing a better angle. He slightly pulled back from the wall and moved his hands to your thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze and silently telling you to jump. You did and his massive hands supported your thighs as he pushed you back against the wall.

He pulled back to let you both catch your breath, but he was going right in and kissing your neck.

He found your sweet spot fairly quickly, drawing another moan from your throat. Jake chuckled against your skin and nipped at your jaw, “Keep making those sounds and we won’t make it to the bedroom.” You moan again, head falling to the side to give him more room.

Jake smirks before pressing his hips up and pushing his hard-on against your center. “Fuck,” you whimpered out, griding down against him. “Jake, fuck-” Your lips finds his again, “Take me to bed.” “Yes, ma’am.”

As he walked down the hall towards his room, leaving you free access to his neck.

He made quick moves to get to his room.

Once he was in there he tossed you on the bed, “Darlin’, I almost took you in the hallway. But I don’t think my friends would appreciate that.” He shut and locked his door before turning back to you while unbuttoning his khaki shirt. The sight his green orbs landed on was one he would remember for a long time.

You perched up on the edge of the bed, unbuttoning the satin shirt and exposing the matching lace bra. “Fuck, Sweetheart,” Jake’s voice dropped and a rasp had settled in his throat. You could practically see his eyes dilate when you let the fabric fall off your shoulders and toss it to the floor.

You smiled at him as he walked over to you, “Like what you see?” He gently gripped your jaw as he nudged your legs apart with his knee, “Why don’t you look and find out?” He moved your line of sight to his crotch, letting you see just how strained his khaki pants had become. “Look what you’ve done to me, pretty girl,” he brought your eyes up to meet his eyes.

He smirked as your brows furrowed and you whimpered, feeling your hands make their way up his thighs. “I think I know what you want? You wanna stuff that pretty mouth of yours, don’t ya?” You nodded, your eyes doe-like as you licked your lips. “I need words, Sweetheart.” “Yes, Lieutenant. Please.” Jake let go of your jaw, “Take what you want.”

You slid onto your knees, still wearing your jeans and your boots.

Your fingers worked his belt as your lips pressed kisses against the outline of his cock.

The deep groan that left Jake’s throat went straight to your cunt, making you press your hips back hoping to create some sort of relief- using the tightness of your jeans to try and create friction. “Oh, don’t think I didn’t see that Princess. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

You opened his belt and popped open the button, pulling the zipper down with your teeth.

Reaching up with your arms and following with your body, you pushed his undershirt and uniform shirt up his torso to give you more room to work. You kissed along his hip bones, his Adonis belt, snapping his underwear band against his v-line with one hand and palming him with the other, before finally reaching in and pulling his cock out.

“Fuck…” You whimper out, lightly running your fingers over his shaft. “You’re cock is fucking pretty,��� you looked up at him through your lashes.

Jake nearly came right there, despite knowing you were far from it- you looked so innocent right then. And all Jake wanted to do was ruin you.

He sucked in a short breath when you licked his tip, blowing air on it afterwards. “Shit, Sweetheart,” his hand moved to the side of your face, thumb gently rubbing your jaw. You flattened your tongue, running it up the underside of his cock.

Jake watched you gather a little more saliva on your tongue before watching it drip off your tongue and onto his dick. “Your mouth is just watering isn’t it, Darlin’?” “Yes, Lieutenant.”

There was that name again. “Come on, don’t keep us both waitin’,” Jake hummed out, moving his hand to gently thread in your hair.

You got the hint and took him into your mouth. The content growl that left his lips had you moaning around him. “Fuck, that’s a good girl.” Your eyes snapped up to him, as a whimper left your full mouth.

His eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, you like it when I tell you you’re a good girl?” You nodded as best you could before bobbing your head on his cock. “Fuck, well, let’s see if my good girl can take any more of my ‘pretty cock’.”

He watched your eyes widen and dilate with lust. Holy shit, he wouldn’t last if you kept doing that.

The word ‘my’ sent a whole new wave of arousal through you, and your loud moan was muffled by his is dick. You inhaled deeply through your nose, bracing your hands on his meaty thighs, and took what was left into your throat.

“OH FUCK,” Jake moaned out, not expecting the sudden action, but loving it all the same. His grip tightened in your hair, “Stay right there. Hoooly shiiit.” You swallowed around him and his hips jutted forward, making you gag.

He pulled you off, “Shit, I’m sorry.” You pouted, shaking your head. “No, it’s okay,” you caught your breath for a second. You wiped off the spit from the corner of your mouth before taking him in your hand again.

As you jerked him off, you rested your head against his thigh and your other hand came up to massage his balls. “Jake,” you looked up at him again, blinking seductively at him. His large palm was resting on the  back of your head. “Yes Sweetheart?” You positioned your head to be right in front of his cock again.

“Fuck my face.”

He barely wasted a second shoved his cock in your mouth again, his hand gripping your hair again to keep you still. Your hands gripped his thighs and you were moaning and gagging around him.

He was groaning out praises as tears welled up in your eyes and his cock hit the back of your throat everytime.

Jake felt himself getting close, his chest was most likely as red as it felt, and he had to pull away.

You whined and tried to chase him. His hand moved to your face, sliding his thumb into your mouth, “Darlin’, I’m not gonna last, and I want to be in you when I cum.” He removed his thumb and kissed you, pulling you to your feet.

You pushed the khaki shirt to the floor and he laid you down on your back, not breaking the kiss as he laid on his side and used his leg to hook around yours and them open.

His skilled hands went to your jean button and undid it, pulling the zipper down and sliding his hand into your pants. “Oh~” Jake’s voice dropped as he moaned against your lips. “You got lace down here too, pretty girl?” He latched onto your neck, kissing and nipping at wherever he could reach.

One of your hands wrapped itself in the comforter and the other held the back of Jake’s head.

You were trying your best to stay still, but his fingertips were barely giving you any relief as the grazing over your clothed lips. With only a little bit of pressure, he had your hips twitching off the bed.

He chuckled darkly in your ear, “Oh, is my good girl desperate?” He applied more pressure to your clit through your underwear. You nodded, wiggling your hips to give yourself some relief as a whimper left your mouth. “Does she need my fingers? Are you feeling empty, pretty girl?” You nodded again, biting your bottom lip.

Jake's hand stopped.

No movement. No pressure. Just gone.

“I need words, Princess.” A whine left your lips and you buried your head into Jake’s neck.

You had never gotten this worked up before, and you certainly were never like this with previous partners before. But you liked it.

“Please, Jake. I need you, Jake. Please.”

He smirked, kissing your forehead, “That’s a good girl. Don’t make me tell you again.” He swiftly moved your underwear to the side and ran his middle finger through your now exposed lips. You moaned out in relief and your head fell back, “Yes, sir.”

Jake’s dick jumped when the title left your lips. He let out a groan and his head fell forward and attached his lips to your chest, placing his ear right next to your mouth and hearing every sound that left your mouth.

His experienced digits ran over your pussy and rubbed your clit, collecting the arousal that pooled there.

When he collected enough, he brought them to your chest and neck, rubbing your own juices on your skin. He moaned contently and licked it up, moving his hand back down to your cunt.

“Jake, fuck,” you chest heaved and he could feel your pulse thrumming against his lips. “You taste delicious, Sweetheart,” he sucked a mark on your neck before pulling back to look you in the face.

“Oh, sweet girl, you look so fucked out already. I’ve barely touched you.” “Jake, fuck, please,” you whined, your eyes locking on his green ones. “Please what Princess?” “I need your fingers, please.” He smirked and kissed you hotly, pushing his middle finger into you.

You exhaled through your nose, moaning into Jake’s mouth as his digit massaged your walls. “That feel good?” “Yes, it feels s’good.” “You’re doing great,” he brought his free hand to the back of your head, holding it up as he kissed you again, his thumb now drawing figure eights on your clit.

He picked up the pace, making sure to curl his finger everytime. “You’ve been s’good for me, darlin’. Think you can take another one?” He asked against your lips, stilling his hand. “Mhhmm,” you whimpered out, but remembered he wanted words.

“Yes, I can take another one. Please.”

Jake smiled, “Thatta girl.” He pushed on your head to look down at where he was finger fucking you. He kept his eyes on you as he eased another finger into you. “Shit~ Jake,” you groaned, your voice shaking a little.

You turned your head to look at him, but he nudged you with his nose. “Eyes down here, sweet girl. I want you to watch me ruin you.” His eyes darkened when you whimpered and did as you were told.

He started off slow, letting you get comfortable and used to the new stretch while scissoring his fingers. But when he felt your clit twitch and your slick begin to coat his hand, he picked up the pace.

When your moans got louder and your chest started to get red, showing off the bruises he had put there, he couldn’t help but rut his hips in search of friction. You feel it, his cock dragging against your hip.

Blindly, you moved your hand in between your bodies and gripped him.

He groaned in your ear, “Fuck, sweetheart, what-” “Jus’ wanna help, sir,” you kept your eyes where he told you, watching his fingers slide out just to get pulled back in your clenching walls. You used both your saliva and his precum as lubrication as you tried your best to move your hand in sync with his.

“Fuck, that’s perfect,” his own hips began to thrust up. “Are you close, sweetheart? Please tell me you are. I need to be inside you- Fuck!” He latched onto your neck again, trying to keep himself at bay. “I’m close, Jake. Can- can I-” “Yes! God yes, fucking touch yourself, pretty girl.” Your hand that had found its home in his sheets moved to your clit, rubbing tight, fast circles.

He started grunting in your ear, trying to be quiet. “Let me hear you, Jake.”

Jake immediately obeyed, letting the breathiest yet most obscene moans come out of his mouth. “I can feel your pussy squeezing around my fingers. Come on, just a little more Sweetheart.”

His words and the loud, gruff moans in your ear sent you over the edge. Your clit pulsing under your own fingers and your walls fluttering around Jake’s.

Jake had to flex to hold himself back at the moan you let out. Your back arched off the bed, booted heels pressing into the mattress as you probably ruined that pair of underwear.

He pressed kisses to your head, neck and shoulder as you came off your high, giving you time to compose yourself. “How was that, Darlin’?” You chuckled, “Good, so fucking good.”

Smiling, he kissed your lips and pulled back to get off the bed, dragging you with him.

You smiled, sitting at the edge, pulling off your boots as you watched him toe of his dress shoes and start stripping. You lifted your hips up and slid your jeans off before turning onto your hands and knees to get back to the middle of the bed.

“Stop.”

You stopped, your cunt clenching around nothing at the tone of his voice. You felt his hand press down on your back and you realized what he wanted you to do.

Straightening your arms out, you arched your back, presenting your ass to him.

A growl rumbled deep in Jake’s chest, his rough hands groping at the globes of your ass and he huffed out a breath as his callouses got caught on the lace. You moaned at the feeling and pressed back into his hands.

“Doll, as much as I’d loved to fuck you like this. I need to watch you fall apart,” he groaned, one hand gripping your hips as the other unclasped your bra. You whined a little, sitting up a little to let the bra fall down your arms.

His large hands wrapped around your ribs and helped lay you down on your back.

Once you were situated and comfortable, Hangman sat back on his heels, taking in the sight in front of him.

His hands rested on your hips, thumbs moving back and forth on your skin. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Y/N,” he breathed out before pulling your panties off. You giggled, “I think you’ve made that obvious.”

He furrowed his brow but followed your eye line to his cock, realizing what you were insinuating. He braced himself on his forearms, looking you directly in the eye. “No, I mean it. You’re fucking breathtaking. From your looks straight down to the way you hold yourself. I don’t think I’ve ever met a girl like you before. And I don’t think anyone will ever hold a candle to you.”

You felt a twist in your chest as a genuine, full smile pulled at your lips. Looking straight into his eyes, everything felt right, felt clear. And Jake felt the same, he felt like he was on cloud nine – a feeling he only felt in his plane.

Reaching up, you met his lips.

“Make love to me Jake,” you whispered against his lips, missing his eyes when they closed as he huffed out a breath.

He shifted his weight to one of his arms, using his other hand to line himself up with your entrance. He pressed forward, pushing in slowly and watching your face to make sure everything was okay.

He fully seated himself inside of you, letting out a shaky groan when he did. “Holy- you feel perfect.” His right hand came up and cupped your breast, goosebumps forming on the heated skin as the cold metal of his class ring made contact with your flesh. Jake lowered his head and wrapped his lips around your nipple, his tongue circling it.

Your left hand came up and held the back of his head again. “Fuck, Jake, s’full. I need you to move. Please.” Jake kept his hand on your boob, using his thumb to spread his spit around, causing even more goosebumps.

He leaned back, moving his hips slowly but with intention, hitting a spot inside you that you had no idea was there. “Oh shit,” you moaned out looking down at where your bodies were conjoined. Where you could feel every vein in his cock as he slowly thrust into you.

“Look at me, Y/N,” he said, voice gentle but demanding. When you didn’t look up, he moved his grip from your chest to your chin. “Pretty girl~” He cooed, watching your eyes flutter to him. “I want you to look at me. Can you be a good girl and do that?” You nodded, “I can try.” He smiled and kissed your nose, “Good girl.”

A pathetic whimper left your mouth and Jake felt you clench around him.

His hand moved the side of your head and he picked up his thrust, still watching your expressions to make sure he wasn’t hurting you.

“Jake -fuck- faster,” you moaned, bending your legs at the knee to adjust the angle. He picked up his pace, his hips slamming into the back of your thighs and his pelvic bone stimulating your clit.

Hangman’s grunts and moans were loud, turning you on more than he thought they would. He never thought his sounds would do anything to anyone, but here you were proving him very wrong.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing my cock so well, Princess,” he groaned, throwing his head back as your ankles crossed behind his back. His green eyes had basically become black as you held eye contact and a series of short whines and moans left your throat.

Jake angled his hips upward and hit a spot that pulled a guttural moan from your throat, and had your entire body spasming. He had been concerned that he had hurt you but the way you used the leverage of his waist to grind down on him told him you were reaching your peak again.

You threw your arms around him, pulling him as close as you could. He rested his forehead on yours, his eyes clenching shut at the endorphins flooding his entire system as he felt his resolve breaking.

You could feel him shaking with pleasure just as much as you were, his hips stuttering every time you clench around him. “Jake, I’m close. I’m so close.”

He nodded against you, “Me too, Sweetheart. Me too.” He moved his left hand to rubbed your clit and his moans got louder in your ear. “Ooooooh fuck,” he panted, giving you a few hard thrust before continuing his fast pace.

He panted more, his breath fanning over your face as his eyes squeezed shut.

Jake’s face of pure pleasure and his vocalness, mixed with his ministrations, sent you over the edge. Your body shook, back arching, head thrown back as he worked your clit through the intense feeling. You moaned out his name, nearly screaming. “Thatta girl. Cum on my cock, I got you.”

His hips stuttered and his eyes opened slightly, “Fuck, where do you want it?” “Inside me. Cum inside me-” Jake’s pace picked up as his face fell into your neck, groans and pants were directly in your ear.

“Cum for me Lieutenant,” you panted, arms wrapping tightly around him as his few final thrusts jostled your body.

He finished with a loud groan, his entire body tensing and shaking as his arms wrapped around your body. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my…” Jake panted into your neck, nuzzling into it.

Your chests heaved together as your hand scratched the back of his head. “That- that was-” “Amazing,” he chuckled breathlessly into your neck. “I don’t think I’ve came that hard in my life.” You hummed, “Me either.”

He gently pulled out of you, apologizing when you hissed a little bit.

He got up and slid his boxers back on, “I’ll be right back.” He left the room, closing the door behind him.

He came back with a warm rag and gently cleaned you up before tossing the rag in his laundry basket. He went to his drawer and pulled out a pair of boxers, “Here, put these on.” As you did that he went to his closet and got a hoodie.

Jake kneeled on the bed and slipped it on you. You giggled a little at the extra length on the sleeves. He chuckled, kissing the side of your head before turning off his lights, the only light being the moon from outside. “Come on, lay with me.”

So, you did.

You laid there all night, talking about anything and everything. Eventually you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

********

Your eyes shot open, your chest heaving slightly because of the nightmare you just had.

You felt a pressure on your waist, making you look down to find a muscular arm. You followed it up to find Jake sleeping peacefully next to you. You smiled at him, his face was so relaxed.

The soft snores that left his mouth made your lips quirk into a smile, but then a deep frown settled on your face.

Jake was peaceful in his sleep, not having to worry about what went bump in the night. The only thing that plagued his sleep was flashbacks, things that were a real danger to everyone – things that people believed in and knew happened in life. Not creatures that lurked in the shadows or you made deals with.

You would never sleep peacefully, not anytime soon anyway. You slept with one eye open and a loaded gun under your pillow. Your dreams were filled with monsters and demons, death and pain. When you did have good dreams, they often turned sour if you slept too long. Turning from having a lovely family to walking in to find them either gone or dead because of your previous life.

You could never have the life you dreamt of as a kid, you never believed it was in the cards for you once you started hunting outside of your home state – especially when you began hunting with the Winchesters.

So, despite the weight in your chest –the little girl that just wants a family– that begged you to stay, you managed to pry yourself from Jake’s arms and the comfort of his bed.

The moment your feet hit the floor, you felt sick. Like your body was telling you that you had to stay. But your brain knew better and your heart felt inclined to agree, because your mind had always known what was best for you – right?

You quickly changed, dropping the hoodie he lended you right where you had fallen asleep.

It was hard to breathe as your hand pulled open his door and shut it behind you. You leaned back against it, questioning your decision of leaving.

This was just a one night stand, right? It was just a hook-up, nothing more.

So why was it so hard to leave?

You pushed yourself away from the door, checking around to make sure Jake’s housemates wouldn’t see you.

You figured you were in the clear by the time you passed the kitchen.

“Oh God, Y/N. You didn’t-” “Fuck! Robert, what the hell?” You turned, eyes wide as you looked at your brother standing in the kitchen with a coffee. You gulped, adjusting your shirt to cover you more.

He sighed, crossing his arms and leaning back, “Which one?” You blinked, “Excuse me?” “Rooster or Hangman?”

Your heart lurched at the second one but you had to play it off. “It’s none of your business.” “I’d like to know which pilot is gonna be pissed at work today, waking up to an empty bed isn’t normal for either of them.” “Well, sucks to be you Robby, I have to go.” You found your purse and left, leaving Bob in the kitchen by himself.

********

Not an hour after you left Jake woke up.

Something didn’t feel right and when he opened his eyes to find you gone, he knew that’s what it had to be. He balled the hoodie up in his hands, sitting cross legged on his bed, just staring down at the article of clothing.

He wasn’t sure why you left –or why you leaving affected him so much. He felt hurt, embarrassed.

Jake had let himself be vulnerable with you; told you his dreams and how he didn’t think he would ever make it as far as he had. He’d never even told his closest friends the things he told you last night.

And he felt that you were vulnerable with him, putting your heart on your sleeve, just for him to see.

But maybe he was wrong. And he hated it. He never liked being vulnerable, being vulnerable got him hurt.

He let out a laugh, a condescending laugh aimed mostly toward himself. “You really fuckin’ thought- God Jake, you’re an idiot.” He threw the hoodie and got out of his bed.

He got dressed for work and went to the kitchen, finding both Bradley and Bob chatting over breakfast.

“And he emerges!” Rooster announced upon seeing him. Jake just rubbed his face and rolled his eyes. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Jake felt a pang deep in his chest, but he refrained from a snarky comment.

Bob suddenly connected Jake’s bad mood to your escape barely two hours ago. But Jake was way more torn up than he thought he would be.

“I see your date already left.” Bob watched Jake’s nostrils flare at Rooster’s comment. But he didn’t snap, he simply grumbled out, “Well, guess you both lucked out on some chick overstaying her welcome here.”

Jake hated the way he just referred to you, the phrase bitter on his tongue.

Rooster scoffed, brows raised in amusement, “‘Some chick’? Hangman I watched you leave with one very Special Agent Gibbs last night.” Jake’s lip quirked up into a snarl at Rooster’s choice of words, but he didn’t speak.

His roommates watched him go about his morning not making any comments about his sexcapaped or how he charmed her while offering them tips.

*********

Jake was more of an ass than usual today. Constantly having something snarky or egotistical to say to anyone, having more of a bite than usual.

“What is up with him today? I thought we were past this?” Fanboy asked Rooster during their break. Rooster shrugged, honestly a little concerned himself, “I don’t know. I think his hook-up leaving without a note is affecting him more than he thinks it is.”

They didn’t know Hangman could hear them, or how right they were. But Jake was just going to put up more walls, hoping they were strong enough for when he inevitably saw you again.

***********

You barely left your motel room, choosing to lay in bed and feel sorry for yourself.

“Hey! Y/N,” Sam used his key to come in, his face scrunching up in confusion when he didn’t see you at first. But then it fell when he saw you curled up under the covers of your bed.

He came over and knelt by the bed, “Hey, you okay?” “Is one ever okay in this life, Sam?” He furrowed his brows, you’d never shown doubt that this wasn’t the life you wanted. You told both of them yourself that you’d wanted to hunt since you were a teenager and that you took up local cases in college. As far as anyone in the hunter world was concerned – you were born for this life.

“I don’t know. I guess that’s up to whoever you ask,” Sam gave you a sympathetic smile. You shifted, laying more on your side to face Sam.

“What was it like? When you were at Stanford, away from all of this?” He sighed, “Honestly?” You nodded, “As honest as you can give me.” “The thoughts never left, the instincts to check every dark corner and under the bed were still there,” he looked into your eyes, seeing you hanging on every word. “But,” he started again. “It was nice to feel normal for once. I had a glimpse of what was out there. It was nice.”

You sat up, propping yourself on your hand. “Do you regret coming back? Do you wish that you would’ve just told Dean to fuck off that night?” He sighed, “Sometimes yeah. But how would I know if things turned out differently? Maybe Jess would be alive, maybe she still would have died, but I’ll never know.” “Does that not bother you?” “As a Winchester you stop being bothered by a lot of things.”

You brought your knees up, wrapping your arms around your legs and resting your chin on your knees, “I guess it’s just not in the cards for us.” “I wouldn’t say that. Maybe it’s all a matter of circumstance.” You turned your head, looking at Sam with tears in your eyes, “Is it worth it? Getting out? Chasing a life that you thought only existed in fairytales…”

Sam blinked, his eyes studying you. Never once had he believed you would think about getting out. You’d always shown this intimate knowledge and this passion for hunting and helping people in a way no one else could.

So he wondered why you were questioning everything all of a sudden.

But before he could voice it, your phone rang.

You quickly answered it, “Agent Gibbs.” Sam moved to sit on your bed. “Y/N, we got another one. A pilot, Lieutenant Junior Grade Parson,” it was Jimmy. “Oxytocin levels were high and cops said his friends saw him leave the bar with a girl.” “Okay, thank you for letting me know.” “Okay.” You hung up and looked at Sam.

“We,” you scratched your forehead. “We have another body. Lieutenant Junior Grade Parson, he was a pilot.” Sam nodded, “Okay, Dean and I will go check it out.”

He got up moving to leave, but he turned to you.

“Hey, if you need to talk-” “Thanks Sam,” you smiled gently at him, laying back down. He gave you a tight lip smile and left.

Outside, Dean was waiting for him.

“Where’s Y/N?” Sam glanced back at your door. “She -uh- she’s gonna stay in for a little bit. We both know she didn’t come home until this morning, she needs to get over her hangover. But we have another body, we need to go to the ME’s office.”

Dean nodded and uncrossed his arms to get in his car, “Alright, let’s go. We couldn’t go get the vials last night, might as well get the fresh blood.”

*******

They pulled into the ME’s office.

“Sam, Dean, glad you could make it. I take it you’re here for the blood?” The brothers nodded, “Yeah.” “Where’s Y/N?” “She stayed out last night. We aren’t sure what she was doing but she didn’t come back until early this morning,” Sam told him.

Jimmy just nodded and went to go get the blood from the storage area.

But he came back empty handed, “They’re gone. All of the vials are gone.” “The blood is gone?” Dean asked with a brow raised. “Who could have taken them?” Jimmy shrugged, “I don’t know. No one else is allowed back there except for me and- son of bitch!” Sam stepped forward, “Who else has access, Jimmy?” Jimmy put his hands on his hips, “My assistant.”

*******

You nursed a beer as you sat in the little kitchen of the motel room.

The ache in your chest and the pit in your stomach hadn’t gone away. As hard as it was to believe, you missed him. Missed the feeling of being under him – being around him.

Your phone rang. “Floyd.”

“Y/N, we gotta go to the bar.”

Your chest fluttered with hope before it filled with anxiety. Going to the bar meant seeing him again, and you couldn’t say with confidence that you wouldn’t run to him and spill everything. Your true line of work, monsters – all of it.

“Did you get the vials?” You asked standing up. “No, Jimmy’s assistant is the siren. She took the vials before we got there,” Dean grumbled. “Get changed, we’ll meet you there.”

*********

Jake played pool with Coyote, not really trying his hardest.

“Okay, what the fuck is up with you?” Javy asked. Hangman furrowed his brows, “What are you talkin’ about?” His friend sighed, “You’ve been a bigger ass than usual today, and now-” He gestured to the table. “-you act that you don’t give two shits about this game. What the hell dude?”

Jake pinched the bridge of his nose, “‘Yote, look, nothing’s going on. I just-” The bell chimed and it pulled Jake’s attention to the door.

And all the walls he built came tumbling down.

He watched you walk over, a clear drive in your step as your eyes were set on Bob.

But when you got over and looked up, your confidence faltered and your eyes widened. Your eyes locked on Jake’s and they didn’t want to leave.

“Agent Gibbs,” Bob spoke up. “How can we help you?” You blinked, stumbling over your words as you tore your gaze from Jake. “Uh, yes. Yes, did any of you know Lieutenant Parsons?” The squad nodded, “Yeah, he’s a pilot in the TOPGUN program, why?” You sighed, “He was found dead on the beach this morning.”

The group was silent, processing the information given to them.

“He left with a girl, not too long after she began talking to him,” Bob started. He had watched a girl emerge from the bathroom and walk right up to the young pilot, say a few words before sipping his drink and handing it back for him to sip from. Then he got up and followed her out, he thought it was just a coincidence but now that you were here, he learned it was exactly what you had told him it was.

“Did you see what the girl looked like?” “Blonde, tan, maybe 5’6”.” You nodded, “Did anyone know the Lieutenant personally?” “Hangman, you were pretty close with Parry weren’t you?”

Payback's voice drew Hangman out of his thoughts. “Oh, yeah, yeah I knew him pretty well. He went to school with my sister.”

“Did he say anything to you recently?” Jake swallowed when you addressed him, suddenly feeling nervous. “Yeah, he said his best friend sent him videos of his girl back home. Let’s just say they weren’t friends after that.”

You nodded, “Thank you. I’ll let you guys get back to your night.”

“Agent?” You turned, “Yes, Lieutenant?” “Can I talk to you, alone?” Jake nodded toward the deck door. “Of course.”

You followed Jake outside and he leaned against the rail.

“Jake, look-” “Why did you leave?” Your breath caught in your throat, your bullshit excuse dying on your tongue. “Because I can’t let you get hurt.” “You leaving hurt, Y/N. I thought…” He shook his head and rocked on his feet as he looked at the sand.

You took a cautious step forward, “Thought what Jake?” He scoffed, standing up straight, “That last night was more than just a hook-up.” “It was, Jake. That’s why I had to leave…” His nostrils flared, “That makes no goddamn sense. We pour our hearts out to each other and you just fucking leave? I bare my heart to you and you throw it away!”

“I can’t let you get killed because of me Jake! Everyone that I let into my life dies!” You finally shouted back. “What do you mean?” “Jake, with my line of work-” “Being a federal agent? Yeah I know that’s dangerous but-” “No! God! Jake, there are things in this world that you don’t understand! Things that only live to cause pain and suffering. Things that go bump in the night. I’m not NCIS Special Agent Gibbs,” you threw your badge down. “I’m Y/N Floyd. I’m a hunter. I hunt monsters.”

Jake blinked at you, his stomach twisting in knots and his heart felt full of cement. “You hunt monsters? Like werewolves, vampires, the fuckin’ boogieman?” You threw your arms out, the weight of that secret being lifted off your chest, “Yes!”

Foolishly, you hoped Jake would understand and let you go, and maybe that pit in your heart would go away.

But he laughed.

Right in your face.

“You really think I’m stupid enough to believe that? That you can just say some outlandish bullshit and I’d believe you?” His throat burned as he said the words, because he wanted to believe you. The look in your eyes was the same one he saw last night as you both told the other about how much having a family mattered to you. But what you were saying was ridiculous. Monsters? Those weren’t real.

He bit his lip and shook his head, “God, and to think I thought you were different.” He watched your heart shatter and he felt his crumble. He pushed it away and shoulder checked you before walking back inside, leaving you there as rain clouds rolled in.

Bob watched Jake walk in and right toward him. “Your sister needs a reality check, Floyd,” he said right in the WSO’s ear before getting another drink from the bar.

*******

You sat at the bar, drowning yourself in bourbon.

“Whoever the guy was, he’s stupid to stand you up,” a male voice said from in front of you. You looked up to see a bartender, a rag thrown over his shoulder. He was tall, with tan skin and striking green eyes, his blond hair styled perfectly. “Hi, I’m Evan.”

You downed the glass, grimacing as you swallowed, “Wasn’t stood up. I -uh- just got a lot going on.” “I can see that,” he leaned on his forearms. “Wanna talk about it?” You shook your head, tapping your glass on the table, “You wouldn’t understand. But I’ll take another round.”

He gave you a sad smile and poured you another glass. “Just cause I might not understand doesn’t mean I won’t listen.” You scoffed, sipping the amber liquid, “It’s a lot to hear, trust me.”

Evan sighed, his tactic wasn’t working, just like it failed to work on Jake the previous night.

A loud cheer drew your attention to the aviators at the pool table, and you caught eyes with Jake. That’s when it clicked, why nothing worked on Jake the previous night and why it wasn’t going to work now. Evan couldn’t lure you in with his words before putting you under his spell – he just had to go straight for the kill.

Before you turned back around, Evan took a sip of your drink, sitting it back down with the side he drank from facing you.

You turned back with tears in your eyes, but you didn’t touch the drink. “Hey, Sweetheart, it’s okay, he’s an idiot.” You cut your eyes at him, “Don’t call me that.” The way he said it sounded like nails on a chalkboard. He nodded, “Got it. Apologies.” You downed the rest of your drink and Evan smirked.

Suddenly you felt light headed. “Oh, I think you’ve had too much, let me get you home.” Evan rounded the bar before you could say anything. You felt like you should protest, that this wasn’t the guy you needed to take care of you. But you couldn’t resist and followed him out.

****

Jake had watched you leave with the bartender he didn’t recognize and he felt a deep pull in his gut that told him you were in trouble, but he shook his head and went back to playing pool.

Phoenix must have noticed it too because when Penny helped Fanboy deliver the next round she asked when she got a new bartender. Penny shook her head, “I didn’t hire a new guy.”

Jake's blood ran cold and he met Bob’s eyes before both were ditching their cues and booking it out the doors.

They ran into Sam and Dean on the way out. “Where’s Y/N?” Jake asked. Dean shrugged, “Inside, we told her to meet us here.” “No, she just left with some guy.” Sam perked up, “What does he look like?” “Like Hangman,” Bob said, pulling his keys out of his pocket. “It’s the siren. We have to find them, come on.”

Jake moved to follow Bob to his truck when Dean stopped him, “You have to stay here.” Jake squared up, “Like hell I’m staying here. She needs me.” “I can’t let you get hurt.” “I don’t give a fuck if I get hurt! She might die! I’m going.” Jake ripped his arm out of Dean’s grip and got in Bob’s truck.

Dean looked up at Sam, “I don’t think we have much of a choice Dean.”

******

You sat on the couch of your motel room, the siren walking back and forth, twirling the brass blade.

“You know Y/N. You’ve had a lot of hardships when it comes to love. You just can’t get it right can you?” He squatted in front of you, “You’ve tried to have the ‘apple pie life’, but you just can’t give up hunting- can you? It got your last partner killed. And this last one, well he just didn’t believe you.”

He pulled you up by your hands, “You’re never going to achieve that life, Y/N. You’ll never have it. No matter how hard you try. So why don’t you just end it now? End it for me, and I’ll help you create that life in another world.”

The siren pressed the blade into your hand. “Do it.”

Tears ran down your face as you looked at the knife; you didn’t want to, but your body was telling you to plunge that blade straight into your chest – you couldn’t control yourself.

But just before you could, the door swung open with Jake, Sam, Dean, and Bob running inside.

Evan grabbed your shoulders, pushing the blade towards your heart. “Fucking do it, Y/N.”

“Y/N don’t!” Bob’s shout made you jump and the blade moved and you stabbed yourself in the side. You fell to the ground, knocking into the coffee table. “Shit!” Bob ran to catch you so your head didn’t hit the ground.

Jake watched the blood pool on the carpet and stain your brother’s hands. He glanced over to where Sam and Dean were fighting with the guy. That’s when he saw the guys face in a mirror, seeing the siren’s true form. “Holy shit…”

He looked to see where you were struggling against Bob, trying to pull the blade from your side. “Y/N, no you’ll bleed out. Stop. Stop!” You cried, “I can’t, Bob! I need to do this! Just let me.”

The blade wasn’t in all the way, but it was in enough that ripping it out could cause serious damage.

“Seresin! A little help!” Bob shouted, spurring Jake into action.

Jake immediately was at your side, pinning your arms down, placing his knee across your hips. “Bob, pull the knife out slowly and then I’ll put pressure on it.” “Jake-” “Rob! We need that blade!” Dean’s gruff voice sounded and more punches were thrown.

Bob sighed, extremely conflicted. “Bob,” Jake’s gentle voice echoed. “I’ve got her. I promise.” And Bob believed him.

Gently removing the blade, Jake grabbed a blanket to put pressure on the wound. “Come on, stay with me.”

“Y/N, use the gun on the floor!” The siren sang, and you easily wrestled out of Jake’s grip and grabbed the weapon.

Jake’s eyes widened and he lunged for you, gripping onto your wrist. “Y/N, Y/N no! You can fight this, c’mon. Fight him.” You sobbed underneath him, “I can’t. He’s right I’ll never-” Jake looked you directly in the eye, “Shut up. He’s not right, whatever the fuck he said to you isn’t right. You get to decide what’s right about you, not some freak of nature. You, Y/N Floyd, get to decide how you live your life. Whether or not that means falling in love is up to you.”

Hangman watched your eyes lose the glossiness that had settled over them, and you blinked a little bit. “Fuck, that was weird.” Jake chuckled in relief, you were back, “There she is.” You swallowed, keeping eye contact with the man above you, “Is it dead?” He shook head just as the blade slid on the ground, followed by a beat up Bob. “No, the bastard is very much alive.”

You tilted your head, confused, “Then how-” “Son of a bitch!” You sat up, glancing to see Sam unconscious and Dean trying to fight against the monster. “Shit,” you scrambled up and towards the blade.

Jake watched you pick up the blade and leap over the couch, stabbing the creature in the chest and twisting the blade before ripping it out.

“Holy shit.” Jake scrambled up and over to you. “That was badass, Sweetheart.” “Thanks,” you breathed out, feeling light headed. You swayed a little, causing both Jake and Dean to reach out and steady you. “You okay, kid?” Dean asked, looking at your wound. You nodded, “Yeah- yeah, I’m-”

Before you couldn’t finish your sentence, you fell limp into Jake’s arms. “Y/N!”

*****

A few hours felt like an eternity to Jake as he waited by your bedside for you to wake up.

Bob sat on the other side, leg bouncing nervously as he watched the rise and fall of your chest. “Floyd, she’s gonna be okay,” Jake reassured. “How can you know?” Jake shrugged, reaching out to grab your hand. “I just feel it.”

About 30 minutes later, your eyes fluttered open.

“Hey pretty girl,” Jake drawled next to you, sleep lacing his voice. “How long have I been out?” “A few hours. But you’ll be fine. This fella-” Jake sat up, stretching his back. “-Castiel, I believe is what Dean over there called him. He patched you up real nice.” You chuckled, but then realized what Jake had witnessed.

“Oh my gosh. You must have so many questions.” He nodded, “I did but Bob and your friends helped sort everything out, so I have a bit of understanding.” You nodded, smiling a little at him.

He smiled back and kissed your knuckles, “I’m sorry for not believing you before.” You shook your head, “I wouldn’t have believed me either.” You squeezed his hand, “But would you believe me if I said that I didn’t want to leave?” Jake nodded, “Yeah. Would you believe me if I said that I didn’t believe in love at first sight until you walked into the bar?” You smiled, “Yeah, because I was the same way.”

“Y/N, good you’re awake,” Cass’s gruff voice pulled your attention away from Jake. “Hey, Cass, thanks for fixin’ me up.” He nodded curtly before sitting down on the bed. “I have some questions.”

You nodded, “Shoot.”

“Did you break out of the siren’s spell before you killed it?” You nodded, frowning a little, “I did, why?” “How?” You squeezed Jake’s hand, “Jake pulled me out, I don’t really know how that worked but he did.” Cass nodded. “And I never felt fully under the spell, like my body was doing it but my mind, heart, whatever, was telling me to stop. It was weird.”

Cass nodded again, “That’s because you found your soulmate.” “I’m sorry, what?” “Jake, he is your soulmate. Siren’s have little power over soulmate bonds as strong as yours, that’s why he was able to pull you out of the spell.”

Jake looked at you, smiling like a fool.

“That explains why I’m so comfortable around you.” “And why my heart felt heavy after I left.” Jake pulled you in for a sweet kiss.

When you pulled away, you mumbled against his lips, “That’s why I’m questioning everything I thought I knew.” “What do you-” “I’m gonna stop hunting. Right here, right now.” “You’d give that up for me?” “Yes!” “I couldn’t ask you to give that up.” You shook your head, “You’re not. I’ve wanted to get out, but I thought it was never possible. That I could never have the life I’ve dreamt of, but these past few days have turned what I thought I knew on it’s head.”

“I think you’ve been spending time with us too much,” Dean chuckled out. “You deserve this, Y/N,” Sam smiled at you and Jake. “Are you sure?” They nodded and you turned to Jake, “That settles it, I’m staying here.” Jake smiled, “And I know the perfect place.”

**********

thank you guys for making it to the end! i hope this crossover was accurate

i have plenty of ‘x readers’ in the drafts so if you want more let me know

and my asks are open, feel free to request what you would like to see next

feedback is greatly appreciated!

tags <3: @milesdickpic @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​

<3 love ya babes

[omgiamwish]

Idk if prompts are okay to ask right now with the LOTR stuff(which I LOVE, keep it up!), but if they are, I was wondering if it’s okay to see a short comic heart-to-heart between Leo and Splinter after the war? Maybe Leo’s in a state of depression and he’s just sitting at the couch watching TV and Yoshi sits with him, and somehow finds the right words to help him. Just an idea.

This turned into a short fic instead (630 words).

Check out Chair Theft on Ao3 or continue reading below!

Leo sighs, eyes fixed on the projector screen but not really seeing it. Mikey had found a new old tape of magic shows for him, and Leo was trying to enjoy it, but… He just can’t pay attention to it. His thoughts keep wandering. And not even to good places, like wondering if CJ is having fun on the tour of mostly-rebuilt-NYC April is taking him on. No, his stupid brain has decided that he has to keep thinking about-

Dad’s door slides open and Leo quickly adjusts his robe, making sure it fully covers his plastron.

“Hey Dad,” Leo calls lightly, pulling a smile onto his face. “Sorry for stealing your chair.”

Splinter huffs but doesn’t reply right away, and Leo watches him notice the single katana propped on the right side of the chair.

“Have you taken your pain meds, Blue?”

Leo turns his gaze back to the screen. “Yeah.” Not that they did much on a bad day like today, when all his healed bones and scars ache like the breaks and wounds are almost new again. And that’s not even counting what hasn’t healed yet. He probably shouldn’t be out of bed today. It’s just… he doesn’t know. He thought the TV would help.

He hears Dad sigh, and then a dragging sound makes him look back over. Dad pulls one of the larger bean bag chairs over next to Leo and plops into it with a grunt.

“Remind me to ask Red to find another recliner. Mine is too small for you- not enough back support.”

Leo can’t help but stare. He’d expected… he doesn’t know what he expected- he’s only been back on his feet (more or less) for a couple weeks, and nobody’s quite back to acting normal yet. Not around Leo, at least. But he’d thought that Dad would shoo him out of the chair, or maybe just leave him alone or something. Not… whatever this is.

“Where is Red, anyway? And Orange and Purple?”

Leo shrugs with just his right shoulder. “Apparently Meat Sweats is causing trouble again. They’re taking care of it.”

Dad hums, and then breaks into an eye-squinting grin. “I think I will yell at them when they come home, for making us worry.”

This time, the smile that pulls at Leo’s face is a little more real. “Oh yeah, you’re clearly worried out of your mind right now.”

“Exactly! Now, where is your phone? Do you have it?”

Leo pulls his phone from his robe pocket and waves it in the air, curious.

“Good! Now tell them to get take-out on the way home.”

Leo snorts and begins typing in the group chat. “What, so it takes them longer and you can yell at them more?”

“That too!”

Leo hits send. Raph answers with a thumbs up emoji almost immediately and something in Leo’s chest loosens. Oh.

He looks back at Dad, who now appears to be enjoying the magic show that’s still playing. He’s not even sure if Dad likes magic shows.

“Thanks, Dad,” he croaks, because he’s trying to get better at this kind of thing, and also probably because the pain is affecting his filter.

He watches Dad start and stop an acknowledgement a few times before choosing to look back at his phone. Leo guesses Dad is trying to get better at this sort of thing too.

Mikey sends a text asking what kind of take out Leo wants, and Leo starts to answer it before his wrist aches too much and he has to set his phone on his thigh and tap out the rest of his message with his pointer finger.

Dad’s hand settles on Leo’s knee. They watch the rest of the magic shows on the new old tape together.