#this is not only true of trans people

[starbuck]

not to moralize fiction (and i mean that unironically) but, as a trans person, when a character has a distinct birth name and chosen name and people opt to call them their birth name, i DO take notice of that and that it’s generally cis people who do it.

again, this isn’t me actually making any sort of moral judgement, i just think it’s interesting how chosen names are more likely to be inherently respected as sacred by trans people due to our real life experiences.

[kita-shinsukes-hand-holder]

I hate you mfs that don't like Gwen after across the spider verse it smells like misogyny

[hazel2468]

Something that I need people to understand, especially on this hellsite. Is that oppression does not depend on who you actually are.

It depends on how the world sees you.

If the world sees you as X identity. They will treat you as X identity, whether you are or not. If the world sees that you are not X identity, but they can use the oppression of X identity as a cudgel to make you act the way they want you to? They will use it.

Oppression is NOT dependent on who you actually are. It depends on how the world sees you. It depends on how people see you and what they decide to put on you because of that.

Oh. And when someone experiences a form of oppression that is NOT based in the reality of who they are? It's still that kind of oppression. It's not "misdirected"- it is still that kind of oppression being leveraged to maintain the current social climate.

[uncanny-tranny]

So often, I see people who treat certain bigotries as being almost... an unfortunate byproduct of the More Important Bigotry. I see it a lot with bigotries that people are broadly willing to put up with as long as there's a Bigger Picture, or if the bigotry in question is subtle.

Transphobia (for example) isn't an acceptable trade-off for combatting sexism. Often, people are willing to put up with or perpetrate the bigotry (transphobia, in this example) because they see it as an acceptable price to pay for what they actually want.

The thing about bigotry that makes it bad isn't just that different bigotries feed into each other - antisemitism feeds itself into transphobia, which feeds itself into sexism, which feeds itself in racism, and this goes on ad infinitum - it's that bigotry actively affects actual, real people's lives. It prevents people from living, from accessing autonomy, and ultimately deprives them of their human experience. I don't think you ought to see bigotry as a "price to be paid" so you can get yours.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[femmesandhoney]

tras trying to claim something is a human rights violation against trans people when it also affects every other citizen is so funny like...yeah we know you're human too but how is that specifically about trans people come on now 😭

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[r0semultiverse]

My ideal gender presentation is a changeling that looks terrifying by default & makes people scream "what the fuck is that?" but without being able to hate crime me or even hurt me because I'm too strong & cooler than them.

[ventbloglite]

It's so strange that some people can perfectly grasp the concept of;

"There are situations in which it is much safer for a trans woman to self-closet/self-degender/self-misgender in order to achieve safety and not become a vicitim of transphobia. Although she does not wish to be perceived as a man, she must do so in these cases to avoid violence or other negative consequences. She is not doing so through some innate desire to be both a woman and maintain male privlege, it is simply for safety."

AND

"A trans woman can indeed be butch/masc without it being a degendering/self-misgendering thing. To say otherwise is transmisogynistic. No woman, trans or otherwise, owes anyone a strict conformity to femininity in order to maintain their womanhood."

AND

"A trans woman revealing she is trans even if she passes, in order to talk about trans issues, represent trans people, or because she is simply not ashamed (nor should she be) and is proud of her transness is not at fault for any transphobia she receives because of this. She is not obligated to live in stealth."

But at the same time also believe that;

"Trans men who aren't living in stealth are inviting transphobia onto themselves in order to be victims but at the same time have male privilege. They are lording their femalehood over trans women every time they talk about being born/living as a woman or how misogyny affects them because of that. Trans men could just not be feminine and that would solve their issues, they should conform to masculine stereotypes (which I will then call them toxic for) which is actually super easy for every single AFAB out there. Trans men who self-degender/self-misgender in order to be safe in situations where being trans poses the risk of violence or worse have a degendering/misgendering fetish."

[teplejtrouba]

i have managed to actually do a hobby for the first time in months. yippee

[musical-chick-13]

Regarding the whole "Fandom Is An Escape, so why should I have to care this much about misogyny/racism/ableism/transphobia/etc." thing. Idk about the rest of you, but it gets kind of hard for me to "escape" when I keep seeing people say the same vile things about characters who share aspects of my identity that I hear all the time in real life.

[catboyfurina]

Idk what precisely to call it since honorifics aren't Pronouns but vertin using she/her while routinely being addressed as Lord, sir, etc is soooooooo 🥰 it's like mixed pronouns but not.

[piosplayhouse]

Not going to get involved in the ao3 politics shit but I just want to say after reading some of the top posts on this site I can tell most of the people talking about this subject very clearly did not experience Sexytimes With Wangxian

[uncanny-tranny]

Socialization theory with regards to trans people might have been an interesting conversation if people hadn't ever used it to mean, "you will always be [gender] no matter what, and my assumptions about how you were socialized mean more and are more true than whatever you say you went through as a child. Your account of your life is untrustworthy because it doesn't align with what I say is [male/female] socialization."

I'm not sure this theory wouldn't have been picked up by transphobes, but it's infuriating how you can't even discuss your thoughts about your own transness or growing up trans without being called a liar.

[ya-what--ya-erster]

gotta love when someone casually brings up an LGBTQ+ identity, you don't know what it means, you Google it, and then wow holy shit no way what the hell there's been a word for it this whole time???

[cliveguy]

every time top surgery is getting discussed in the news a trans guy will be like wow it sucks that everyone is being so publicly disgusted by my body with no repercussions it's as though they don't think we're people with feelings. and then a million people will jump in like ALSO SOME CIS WOMEN (the only people who can get breast cancer) ALSO LOOK LIKE THIS. this picture of a trans man that everyone is calling a mutilated freak instantly made me think of cis women, and look at her living her best life! misgendering? i'm a trans ally but come on, it's a drawing, don't you think that's being a bit silly? art is about interpretation anyway - we should celebrate ALL afabs who get mastectomies, for whatever reason ^.^