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heeology · 5 months

Note

I have a request for a fic where both Jake and reader are starting their freshman year of college and jake is applying to be in a frat, but to be accepted the brothers in the frat make a bet with him to make the reader sleep with him ….

a/n -> omg i was literally thinking abt writing a jake fic (which i'll get to soon) and then this pops up lmao. but your mind...lord, this is such a good idea. anyway, tysm for being my first request !! it means a lot lol and i rlly hope you enjoy this :)) then, just in general, if you also sent me a request, i promise i have seen it !! i just work five days a week now, so i don't rlly have a lot of time to sit and write, but i promise i am working on them and will release them when i can 💕

are you down or what? | s.jy

pairing -> futurefratboy!jake x fem!reader

genre -> college au, best friends (alludes) to fwb

warnings -> MDNI, smut, drinking, cursing, mention of weed (no drug use tho)

w.c. -> 7.3k

!!DO NOT COPY OR REPOST!!

Going to college is already scary enough, moving to college is even scarier. You wouldn’t categorize yourself as the “outgoing type” and you had pretty much figured your college experience would be dull and stressful; Junior year of high school pretty much prepped you for that. Luckily (depending on how you see it) for you, Jake is the complete opposite. He loved extra-curriculars, joining clubs, joining sports teams, and always made honor roll; essentially, he loved making new friends, trying new things. Everyone adored him and he had practically a long line of people waiting to be his friend. If only they knew they just had to be allergic to any sort of social activity and he would’ve immediately taken them under his wing. He’s always tried to have you venture out of your comfort zone, and sometimes, it worked. This time, however, you honestly didn’t see yourself branching out alongside him. Which both bummed you out and seemed as if it was inevitable.

Who knew that the kid you met at your fifth grade honor roll assembly and pizza party would be the one you ended up applying to colleges with, let alone plan on going to the same college with? Well, actually, you and Jake didn’t quite get along at first, it was your moms that became best friends well before the two of you did. But, thankfully, both of your moms showed up to the honor roll assembly and brought the two of you together. Even if at first he would try to make conversation with you and you would just nod your head in response, too shy to actually say anything back. At first, he thought you hated him and at the time, you thought he was annoying, but somehow you both came to find these qualities about each other endearing. There were a lot of times you were grateful to have met him and have him as your best friend.

But when he brought up the topic of a fraternity mixer while he was helping–well, more like he was the only one working–assemble an IKEA storage unit for your dorm room as you both sat on your floor, you automatically rolled your eyes. You weren’t surprised in the slightest that one of the first things he wanted to do since you guys got to college was join a frat; it’s like he was born for this, and you mean it in the least douchey way possible.

“Come on, it’s just like, some mixer; nothing major. I really want you to come. Please?” he says as he drags out the “e” at the end.

You roll your eyes again and let out a huff, handing him the screwdriver to which he rolls his eyes in return and takes it. “It’s only been a week and you’re already rushing a frat?”

“What? Think I’m not good enough for them?” he asks, joking as he continues to assemble the storage unit for you. You knew he was perfect for this sort of thing, you swear, he was already breezing through it as a pledge, or at least he was making it seem like it. Besides, you’re pretty sure that he is even mistaken as a member already around campus. “It’s not even going to be that bad. Plus, there’s going to be free booze and hella cute chicks, so there’s that to look forward to.” he says as he grins to himself.

“Gross,” you mumble, “it’s not really sounding like there’s anything for me at this dumb thing.”

He chuckles a little. “What? You mean the thought of hanging out with a bunch of sweaty dudes playing beer pong doesn’t sound enticing?”

You shudder, “You’re not really selling your case here, pal.”

He laughs. “C’moooonnnnn,” he whines, playfully bumping his shoulder with yours, “I promise you’ll have fun. And if not, then we’ll just leave after an hour and get some food. Sound good?”

You think for a moment before letting out a huff, “Fine. But if you even leave me alone for a second with those…heathens, then I will never speak to you again.” you say, half joking, half serious.

“You’re acting like these dudes are all terrible people; they’re not the spawn on Satan, y’know.” he says as he can sense the hesitance and apprehension in your voice. “I promise I won’t leave you and I’ll hold your hand the whole time.” he says as he coos and then laughs to himself.

“Dear god.” you mutter, rolling your eyes again, which only makes him chuckle.

“I’m just kidding. But seriously, you’re coming. Who knows, it could be a funny story later on.”

“Right. I bet it’ll elicit all sorts of chuckles.” you say, sarcastically.

He laughs again, shaking his head slightly as he focuses on working on the IKEA product. He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe you’ll even meet someone there. Imagine if you fell in love with one of the frat dudes.” he laughs at his own thought.

You scoff, “Ew.”

“I know, right? How mortifying, you fall in love with some muscular, frat boy named Chad.” he shivers, “Scary.” he says, teasing you.

You laugh, “Shut up.”

He chuckles softly and then stops working to look at you. “But seriously, will you please come with me? It would be nice having you there, and it will be our first college party together, how can you possibly pass that up?” he says as he pouts slightly, giving you his best “puppy dog eyes”.

You roll your eyes and playfully shove his shoulder, “Ew, fine! Stop doing that.”

He laughs and grins, “You are the best friend I could ever ask for!” he says, acting overly enthusiastic as he hugs you tightly, ruffles your hair, then kisses your cheek. “We’re gonna have so much fun, you’ll see.”

“Bleh,” you jokingly whine as you wipe your cheek, “yeah, yeah. Just finish my storage thing.”

He rolls his eyes, “Yes ma’am.” he says as he continues working for a few more minutes. He finishes working on the storage unit, turning it upright and smiling proudly. “What would you do without me, honestly? BOOM!” he says as he smacks it lightly, “There it is, built by yours truly; you’re welcome.” he says with a smug grin.

“Alright, alright, calm down.” you say as you laugh a bit. You stand up, rolling it over to a corner in your dorm room.

Jake follows your lead, standing up as well. “Here, I can even help you pick out something to wear for the party. I was thinking of wearing a Polo-”

You turn to him and grimace, “Dear god, you’re already becoming one of them.”

He laughs and scoffs, “Hey, I make Polo’s look hot, don’t even try to act like I don’t. Besides, if I wear a short sleeved one, it will totally show off my muscles.” he says as he flexes a bit, grinning. You roll your eyes and pretend to gag and he laughs and stops flexing before nudging your arm. “Shut up.” he mumbles and turns to look at your closet. “Do you still have that dress you wore to that grad party we went to over the summer?”

“I mean, I think.” you say as you walk over to your closet rummaging inside it (even if there isn’t much room to rummage through).

You were kind of surprised to hear him talk about a dress you wore almost two months ago, but you didn’t think too much about it. You suppose maybe he only did because it was the first dress you wore in a while, so maybe he just subconsciously remembered about it. He glances at you as you look for the dress. He was secretly grateful you didn’t tease him for remembering about it, but he just thought you looked pretty in it. Not that you aren’t pretty all the time just…that time…he shakes his head to himself; it’s just a pretty dress.

He crosses his arms and peers over your shoulder, looking into what clothes you have in your closet as well. “What about that white top?” he asks, pointing out a white, low-cut tank top that is discarded to the side of the closet. “Wear that with a nice skirt or something; that’d look good.”

You glance at it and laugh, “I wear that to bed when it’s too hot. I am not wearing that to the party; my boobs will literally be spilling out of it.”

He pauses for a moment before speaking again. “And that’s a bad thing because…?” He grins, giving you a quick wink which results in you punching his shoulder. He laughs and rubs his shoulder. “Kidding, kidding! But seriously, pick out something. You’ll look amazing in whatever you choose.” he shrugs casually. You roll your eyes and keep rummaging through your closet, suddenly hating every article of clothing you own. He leans against the wall next to your closet, “I swear to god, I can never understand why girls sometimes take so long to pick out what they wear. It’s like, how hard can it be to choose something quickly and then wear it?”

“Jesus, fine, you pick out something, then.” you say as you walk over to your bed, laying on it. “You’re the one who wants me to go, anyway.”

Jake smiles mischievously, walking over to your closet and looking through your clothes. “Do you have those tight, high-waisted jeans? The ones you wore last weekend?”

You raise an eyebrow. Is he talking about the ones you wore to the brunch your mom took you out to with him and his mom? You laugh. “Probably. My mom bought them, so she probably snuck them in there somewhere.” you don’t even realize you’re smiling a bit to yourself, a part of you secretly liking that he remembered them; maybe you looked better than you thought. “Aren’t skinny jeans, like, out or whatever?”

Jake shrugs. “All I know is your ass looked good.” he says as he spots them after looking through some of your bottoms. He grabs them and tosses them at you, the jeans hitting your stomach, causing you to let out a small “oomph”. “And pair it with that white tank top. For your shoes…” he shrugs, “maybe your Doc Martens or something casual. That’ll look good.” he says as he looks at you, nodding his head in satisfaction. “There. Done. And it only took, like, two minutes. See? It wasn’t even hard.” he jokes.

“You chose, quite literally, the most basic outfit known to man.”

“Oh, come on, it’s not even that bad. Besides, you’ll pull it off, anyway.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “I’ll wear the pants and the shoes, but I am not wearing my “booby” shirt, you perv.”

“Oh, c’mon. You know you like to show it off sometimes.” he says, grinning as he wiggles his eyebrows before laughing softly. “Just wear it, please? For me?” he jokes in a playfully flirty tone. “Plus, I need some sort of eye candy when we go to this thing.”

You scoff, playfully. “Ohhhhh, I see what this is.” you say as you sit up on your bed. “You’re hoping if you bring a hot girl to the mixer, you’ll have an automatic in with these frat fuckers, right?”

The tips of Jake’s ears turn slightly red and he scoffs, looking away before looking back at you. “What? No, that’s not the reason. Not the entire reason, anyway.” he says, laughing slightly to hide his embarrassment. “It’ll just be nice to go with you, okay?”

“Uh-huh, suuuurrrreeee.”

He laughs before going to sit beside you on your bed. “Okay, fine, fine, you got me. I did want to bring a hot girl so it'd be easier to get in with the frat. But that's not the whole reason! I also wanted to go with my best friend since we haven't really hung out this week because of classes. And I knew I'd need at least one sane person to keep me in check. Or, at least, as sane as you can get." he teases, wearing that stupid giddy grin of his he gets whenever he feels he said something hilarious.

You scoff, playfully, “Watch it.” you warn.

He laughs, “Sorry, sorry. I meant a perfectly sane, normal human who doesn’t listen to musicals in her spare time.”

You nudge his arm, “Hey! That was middle school me, back off.”

He laughs again, “I’m messing with you. But seriously, I am glad that you’re coming. It’ll be way more fun with you there.” he smiles that typical charming smile he does, not because he knows he looks good doing it, but because he just does anyway. “I really do appreciate you. Especially since you’re ‘sacrificing’ your sanity to be surrounded by these frat guys.”

“Soon, you’ll be one of them.” you shudder, “I’ll have to start writing my obituary for you.”

“Oh, come on, we’re not all that bad. I'm sure there's at least a few decent guys there that aren't complete douchebags. They're just...eccentric." he jokes, "This mixer will be a great chance for me to maybe get an in with the career path I wanna take plus if I leave a good impression with the frat guys, maybe I won’t have to be a pledge for much longer."

“‘We’re’? Oh my god, you’re already clumping yourself together with them!” you say in fake horror.

“Oh my god, you’re right.” he says in the same tone with a shocked expression. “I’m turning into one of them without even realizing it! Quick, snap me out of it!” he says, laughing slightly.

You shrug, “Gladly.” you say before punching his shoulder. It honestly hurts your knuckles, but you decide to keep that to yourself and ignore the pins and needles shooting through your hand.

He frowns and looks at you with an “i’m not mad, just disappointed look” which causes you to burst out laughing. “You know, you’ve got a mean right hook. Who knows, you might be the one joining the frat.” he says, rubbing his shoulder a little before wrapping his hand over your knuckles, squeezing it a little. He knows you probably hurt your hand a bit, so he hopes this makes your hand feel a little better before letting go.

“I’d rather die.” you say in such a serious manner, he can’t tell whether you’re joking or not, but he laughs nonetheless.

“Just get dressed. I’ll come get you later, okay?” he says as he gets off of your bed.

You groan, “Fine. But I hope you know, you are throwing me to the wolves by making me wear this outfit.”

He laughs and opens your door. “Have to let them know I’m there with the best-looking, smartest, and funniest girl at the party somehow.” he says with a wink.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms. “You’re lucky flattery works with me.” you mutter.

He grins, “What can I say? I know you so well, babe.” he says before nodding his head as a goodbye and walking out of your dorm room, closing the door behind him.

Against your will (and your own regard for fashion), you wore what Jake had picked out for you. He smirks a bit as he looks at you after opening your door when he knocks around a few hours later. He looks you up and down, and you notice how his gaze lingered a little longer on your chest before meeting your eyes. You cross your arms, unintentionally pushing your chest a little together, he scoffs as his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah…I’m for sure getting into this frat.” he says, mainly saying it to himself, but you would be lying if it didn’t give you a little bit of an ego boost.

“Pipe down, it’s literally the most basic outfit known to man.”

“But you make it look hot…real hot.” he grins.

You roll your eyes and shove his shoulder. “Don’t even.” you mumble as you walk out of your dorm room, closing and locking the door behind you.

He laughs softly as you start walking to the frat house, which is just around a block away. As you step outside, you shiver a bit from the cold and you frown at the fact that you didn’t bring a jacket, but you honestly felt too lazy to turn around and go back to grab one. He notices (and since he wasn’t wearing one either), he opts for putting his arm around your shoulders, pulling you a bit closer.

“You have to admit, this is a little exciting. I mean, it’s our first college party and I’ll make it my mission to make it memorable.”

He honestly means that; he genuinely wants you to have a good time. He knows how you would rather be spending your time right now, just laying in your bed as you watch some show you’ve seen a thousand times, but he wants to break you out of that. Not that he has any problem with you being more introverted or wants to mold you into something he wants you to be, he has a more…specific reason than that. Your smile. As you two walk, he smiles to himself just thinking about it. How, whenever he sees you smiling this certain way–like you’re smiling for the first time–it’s like time stops; like you’re the only thing of importance in that very moment because nothing else matters, nothing else could possibly compare to how special and beautiful you look in those moments. It makes him feel giddy and the first time he ever saw you smile like that, he knew he had to do whatever it took to make it happen again.

“Maybe for you, but if it smells like B.O. and weed, I am so out of there.”

He laughs and covers his mouth, his laugh coming out louder than he expected it to. He runs that hand through his hair and turns his head to look at you. “I feel like you have some underlying stereotypes about frat boys.”

“And until this party proves me otherwise, it’ll stay that way.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then you’re on your own once you join their cult.”

He chuckles softly and shakes his head a bit. “I’m not going to become some buff incel just because I want to join this fraternity.”

You knew that. Well, you were hoping that would be the case. But this is different. This is college. Dramatic, maybe, but you were afraid the two of you would split apart and although you have other friends, he’s the one you’ve had for years. He knows everything about you and has seen you through all of your phases and vice versa. You just feel this looming anxiety that him joining this fraternity will be the first step in the direction of you two no longer being friends; that you’ll just become people you pass by on your way to class. You don’t want to tell him this, though, you’re not really ready to have a discussion (which may turn into an argument) about this just yet. You feel terrible for wanting this, but you’re secretly hoping he doesn’t get in. Not because you don’t want him to branch out and experience his own things in college, well, maybe a little. Maybe you’re selfish. Or maybe you’re saving him from turning into a douche. At least, that’s what you’ll tell yourself to feel better about hoping he doesn’t get in. It’s just because you want him to not forget about you. You’re not as outgoing as him, so what if he starts to find you to be boring? The thought made you frown.

Ten minutes. It’s been ten minutes and this party is already making you feel like you’re being suffocated from the amount of people at this thing, all of whom already seem to be drunk. Once you and Jake got here, you could already tell you were going to hate every lousy minute you had to spend at this party. Especially since there have already been a few people who’ve had their eyes on you for a little longer than you wanted. You tried to make this situation a positive, trying to just relax and have fun as you see Jake greeting the many people he already knows. It’s only been a week since the semester started and he already knew at least twenty people here (yes, you counted). He introduced you to everyone he’s greeted, though, he didn’t want to make you feel left out. He could see you were a little uncomfortable, probably just because it was crowded and loud, so he decided to take you to the kitchen, getting the two of you some drinks.

He smiles warmly, “We can dance if you want, or we can just talk, drink, get wasted, and judge people. Up to you.” he says, nudging your arm.

You smile a little and playfully roll your eyes. “I know that’s now what you want to do.”

“But it’s what you want to do.”

You look at him for a moment and before you say anything back, you hear a loud, booming voice calling Jake over. You both look and see some of the frat brothers laughing and motioning for him to come over as they yell at him like he’s some football player on the team they love. You glance at Jake.

“Please go so they stop.”

He laughs and nods, walking over to them. You take another sip of your drink and then you see someone you met in one of your classes. They notice you and wave and you wave back before going over to talk with them.

Jake walks over to the group of four of the frat boys and greets them, dapping them up. One of them motions their head towards you, “So…who’s she?” he asks, crossing his arms as he grins. The others nod their heads and Jake turns to glance at you before looking at them.

He shrugs, smiling shyly, “She’s my best friend-”

“She rushing Delta Theta Zow?” another one asks.

Jake shakes his head, “Nah, sororities aren’t her thing.”

“Too bad, she’s hot.”

Jake feels himself frown slightly at that. Sure, his intention was to hopefully have them think you’re hot so they would be more inclined to go easier on him when hazing, maybe even just decide to let him in if he could prove he knew some hot girls despite how shallow that sounds. It’s just the way he said it, the way they’re looking at you, that makes him feel sick.

“Tell you what, Jakey, you let us…get to know her, and who knows, you might just be exactly who we’re looking for.” one of them suggests.

Jake feels all of the blood suddenly drain out of his body and the frat brother grins, nudging another one. “Or, tell you what.” he says, putting his arm around Jake, “You sleep with her and you may just be one of the newest members of Alpha Omega Phi. Sound like a deal?”

“You want me to…”

“Fuck her.”

Well, there goes his chances of joining this frat, which surprisingly, is one of the more tame options out of the other ones. This one has great connections to people in the field of computer science and engineering, which is what he desperately wants to achieve. This could give him a big head start…but he can’t just use you.

He chuckles nervously, “I don’t know…she’s not like that-”

“Too bad,” the frat brother says as he takes his arm off of Jake, “We thought you would’ve fit right in with us.” the others nod their heads in agreement.

Jake thinks for a moment. “...alright…fine.”

The four of them cheer, which ignites cheers from other party goers, making Jake look around and find it a bit strange that they hold that kind of power.

“You can use Bradley’s room, he could use some sort of action on that bed.” one of them teases and the others laugh. Jake nods his head, trying to laugh along and then they shove him to go over to you. Jake quickly walks over to you, setting his drink on the counter and grabs your arm.

“The hell-?” you say as he quickly drags you upstairs into a bedroom and he closes the door behind the two of you, looking at you kind of panicked. “What the hell is your problem-”

“They want me to fuck you.”

You feel yourself freeze, all of your muscles tensing up at what just came out of his mouth. Was he being serious? “...deadass?”

“Deadass.”

“Damn…” you mutter, him releasing your arm from his grip. “So…”

He shrugs, “So…” he repeats.

“Guess you’re not getting into this frat.”

He looks at you for a moment, “So, this is like…a for sure thing.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Dude, I’m not having sex with you so you can join a frat.”

“Come on,” he pleads, using his puppy dog eyes again. To be honest, he knew you would say no for obvious reasons, but this was important to him. Sure, you’re important to him, too, which is kind of why he also figured you would be okay with doing this as a favor. “this is really important, I have to get into this frat. I could get an upper hand with some major companies I want to work for once we graduate. Please?” he clasps his hands together, “Just do me this one favor.”

“Fucking me is not a favor.”

“Well, it’s also not a punishment-”

You scoff, shoving his shoulder lightly and he laughs softly. It goes quiet for a moment between the two of you and he looks at you, expecting, wanting you to change your mind.

“How would they know, anyway? Can’t we just, like, pretend to have had sex? You know, like that scene in Easy A.” you suggest.

“In what?”

“Oh my god, we have to add that to our list of movies to watch, it has Emma Stone, so you already know it’s going to be good-”

“Okay, okay, yeah we can watch it later. Are you going to let me fuck you or what?”

You groan, “Can’t I just give you my panties or something and then you can wave them around and brag about it? Actually, don’t do that.”

“Look, this frat is made up of guys in business, engineering, chemistry, and physics majors, they’re not stupid. They’ll know, trust me, and I really don’t want to have to deal with any more hazing because I’m pretty sure it’s just going to keep getting worse and I would actually like to survive my first few weeks of college.”

“Or…you could just not join.”

He frowns, “You know how much this means to me.” You sigh. Yes, you thought this was stupid, but you also weren’t dumb enough to not realize how joining this frat could actually help him in the future. You saw the superficialness of it all and you knew he wasn’t dumb enough to see past it either, but Jake has worked really hard and besides, you would be lying if you said you saw this as a worst case scenario. “Please?” he asks, anticipating your answer.

You sigh again, “Fine.”

He smiles, “God, yes, thank you so much.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“I’ll make you feel so fucking good.” he says. You thought you should take it as a joke, but he says it with a more serious tone before he hooks his fingers through the loop of your jeans, pulling you closer as he leans in, kissing you.

You were a little surprised by him just going for it so suddenly, but you close your eyes and kiss him back. His hand travels up to your waist, holding onto it as his other hand moves to the side of your face, cupping it as he pulls you closer, his fingers slightly tangling with your hair. He tilts his head, slipping his tongue past your lips, sending shivers down your spine as it slides over your own. He kisses you with a sort of hunger, not expecting to be kissing you with so much intensity, but once his lips met yours, it’s like a switch went off for him and he can’t help himself from wanting you more and more.

He guides the two of you over to the bed as you continue to kiss, him grunting softly as his eyebrows furrow together, feeling himself getting hard from just kissing you. He parts from your lips, having you both gasp for air before he pushes your hair aside, feeling his long, thin fingers brush past your neck before being replaced with his soft, plump lips. He leaves open mouthed kisses along the side of your neck before turning you around, your ass pressing against his hard on, making him moan softly into your ear from the contact, his precum leaking and staining his underwear and pants. You tease him, grinding against him slightly which makes him bite your neck softly as he continues kissing along the side of it, down to your shoulder. He grips your hips tightly, stopping your movements and you feel his lips and hot breath brush against your ear.

“Don’t play with me.” he whispers, gently nibbling on your earlobe before pulling away. His hands slip to the button of your jeans, undoing it and slowly zipping down the zipper. He pushes your jeans down just slightly, a little past your ass and he feels like he’s going to pass out from his fingertips gently grazing the edge of your underwear alone. He kisses your neck again, his left hand going to your neck, gently gripping it as he moves your head to the side to give him more room. That action alone almost makes you moan, but you just gasp softly as his right hand slips its fingers past your waistband, finally feeling them push against you. He moans at the feeling of you already being so wet and he coats his fingers in your arousal, making a mess in your panties.

He uses his middle and ring finger to press and circle your clit, causing you to gasp and close your eyes, your head falling back against his shoulder and he pulls away from your neck, breathing slightly heavily. He turns his head to look at you, leaving gentle kisses on the side of your face as he moves his fingers down, pushing them inside of you. From the way your lips part and you let out the softest moan, your eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly, he can feel himself almost cum at the sight alone. He pushes his fingers in and out of you, his thumb rubbing your clit and he leaves a kiss against your ear.

“That’s right, baby, you like this, hm? Fuck, you’re so wet, do you want me to just fuck you now?” he whispers against your ear, knowing he, himself, wants nothing more than to do just that. He fingers you faster, curling them against your walls as the pads of his fingers reach areas you can’t. You moan louder, feeling your legs shake and he smirks. “I bet you taste so good.” he whispers and he pulls his fingers out of you and your panties. “Open.” he demands and you open your mouth, slightly sticking out your tongue and he puts his fingers into your mouth. You lick them as he shoves them a little deeper and then pulls them out, sliding the mixture of your spit and arousal on your bottom lip before he turns your head and kisses you, wanting to taste you. He licks your lip, he sucks your tongue, anything he can just to have you on his lips. He moans softly and pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your lips before breaking. He’s decided he needs more.

He runs his hand along your back, slightly pushing you so you bend over the bed. You can feel your heartbeat against the comforter of the bed. He pulls your jeans down to your ankles, biting his bottom lip as he grins at the full view of your ass on display. His eyes look over how soaked your panties are, feeling a sense of pride knowing he did it. He gently squeezes and kisses one side of your ass, playfully biting it and then realizes he likes the idea of him marking you like this. He bites it a little harder, you moaning and whining at the feeling, your fingers gripping onto the bed sheet. He grins, kissing his teeth marks before he pulls down your underwear, feeling as though he is looking at the gates of heaven itself, his eyes locking onto your pussy. He mumbles something to himself that you can’t hear, but you suddenly feel his tongue slide slowly along and in between your folds. Your mouth opens as you moan, feeling yourself clenching around nothing and he chuckles softly, licking his lips.

He can feel his cock twitch in his pants, more warm precum sticking to his thigh and underwear. He goes back in for more, low groans and moans coming deeply from his throat as he buries his face into your swollen pussy, covering his face in your slick. “You taste so fucking good.” he says with a raspy voice, the vibrations feeling as though they travel throughout your whole body as you moan, feeling his tongue lick feverishly. You feel yourself drool at how he spreads your legs more, his nose and tongue all pressing into you more, him hooking his arms under your thighs, his hands resting and squeezing your ass, raising your hips slightly as he licks and sucks your clit. His nose rubs between your swollen folds as you moan louder, gripping the sheets tighter.

He licks faster, making out with your cunt as his tongue slips in and out of you. You let out a long moan, feeling as if your knees buckle, cumming all over his tongue, lips, chin, and nose. He moans into your pussy, licking up all of your release and he pulls away, looking at your glistening pussy, rubbing his fingers between your slit, spreading the mixture of his spit and your cum all over. His tongue licks his lips clean, reaching down to lick the part of his chin it can reach and he lets out a low groan, relishing in your taste. You whine as he gives a soft slap to your pussy, licking his fingers clean before using it to collect your cum from the rest of his face and licking that up as well.

He flips you over, leaning down to kiss you again and you kiss him back eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands roam along the sides of your body, his right one moving up to your chest and groping your breast through your shirt, you moan and whine as he squeezes it tightly, palming and kneading it as he starts to kiss you roughly. His breaths are heavy and before he even knows what he’s doing, he rips your shirt open, his patience dwindling with each second that passes. He kisses down your throat and buries his face between your breasts, kneading them as he kisses between them. He squeezes and pushes them together, licking across them and switching between each one to leave kisses on. He pulls down the cups of the bra, your nipples hardening more from the sudden cold air hitting them as your breathing becomes shallow and you moan with how he is handling you.

He flicks his tongue over your nipple, sucking and gently tugging at it with his teeth. His tongue swirls around your nipple, his hand squeezing the breast to fill more of his mouth as saliva runs down his chin. He moves and does the same with the other one and your chest rises and falls, moans escaping your lips. Your hand moves and tugs at his shirt, pulling the fabric up and he notices, moving away from you as he takes it off quickly. You feel yourself get even wetter at the sight of his toned arms and abs, looking over every curve of his upper body and he grins. He takes your hand and places it on his abs, moving it over them slowly and you both moan quietly to yourselves. He lets go of your hand and slides off his shoes, you taking the initiative to do the same. You both undress the rest of yourselves quickly and you feel yourself stop in your tracks when you see his long, thick cock slap against his abdomen. You clench around nothing as your eyes look over each vein, biting your bottom lip.

You reach out, using your finger to slide it over his tip, collecting the precum. His breath gets caught in his throat as he watches you, as you also collect the precum from the side of his thigh. You bring your fingers to your lips, licking them slowly as you look up at him. He watches you intently, his eyes shifting from your fingers, to your tongue, to your lips, to your eyes. You let out a soft moan as you taste him, licking your fingers clean and he reaches out, his hand grabbing your chin and lifting your head up to look at him more. He looks down at you, grinning before kissing you, tasting him on your tongue; that fact alone made him feel proud. He pushes you back against the bed, positioning himself between your legs. He kisses your temple muttering a “thank you” before pushing himself into you.

Your back arches slightly at the feeling, the pressure between your legs, the way that your walls mold and clench around his cock makes your head spin. You can feel the ridges of the veins in his cock grazing against them, making you clench tighter. He grits his teeth, cursing under his breath as he pushes himself fully into you. He moans and whines a little at the overwhelming feeling of you around him. His forehead rests on yours as he catches his breath, his hands wandering down the sides of your waist to your hips, gripping them tightly as he holds back the urge to cum. He thrusts slowly, sliding in and out of you, subtle squelching noises of your wetness coating his cock. This sound alone, however, causes him to go faster, moans spilling from your lips as the bed creaks harshly, the headboard hitting the wall. His grip becomes tighter and he clenches his jaw, letting out short breaths as he pulls away, watching your tits bounce with each thrust. He reaches and grabs one, playing with your nipple and fondling the breast, his eyes rolling back a bit as he moans. He fucks into you harder and faster, his hips meeting yours quickly, his balls slapping against your ass, the sound of your skin slapping, your moans becoming increasingly louder as your cunt swallows his cock each time he thrusts into it, his soft whines with short moans, and your arousal spreading between your thighs while getting on his drives him wild.

He pulls out and you gasp at the empty feeling. He grabs your hips and flips you over, pushing your ass up and spreading your legs, sliding himself back in, pounding into you harder and faster. You moan–almost screaming–at the sudden change of pace, your face buried into the mattress as your body shakes. He moans, gripping your ass tightly as he uses that to keep him steady while he fucks you. You moan and scream his name into the mattress, making him moan in return. He grabs a handful of your hair, pulling your head up from the mattress, making you moan and gasp.

“Scream it now.” he demands, fucking you deeper, his other hand reaching to rub circles on your clit hard and fast.

Your eyes roll back a bit and you comply, screaming his name, letting out a lewd moan afterwards as pleasure overtakes your body, your orgasm crashing down. You clench tightly around him, repeating his name over and over as you cum. That was all he needed and until now, he never realized that’s all he wanted. He thrusts harshly a few more times, going back to gripping your hips before moaning your name and pulling out. He pumps his cock a few times and flips you back over, you just giving in because your mind was blank at the moment. He moves up and moans deeply as he cums on your breasts, watching as the pearly white liquid spills on your nipples and the soft flesh, feeling warm and sticky on your skin.

He lets out a breath he seemed to be holding and kisses you. You kiss him back, sloppily, before he pulls away, moving to your chest. He kisses your nipples, a little bit of his cum on his lips before he licks it off. He uses his pointer and middle fingers to spread the cum around your nipples in a slow, circular motion, making you shiver. He smiles, and collects his cum onto his fingers off of your breasts. You open your mouth and he chuckles softly, sticking his fingers in your mouth as you suck and lick them.

“So good…so pretty…” he whispers to you.

You blush a little and he pulls his fingers out. He moves off of you and you both just take some time to catch your breath. You sit up and you both look at each other before bursting out into laughter. You both calm down after a moment before getting up to put on your clothes, but after you put on everything but your shirt is when you realize you can’t.

You glare at him, “Genius, what the hell am I supposed to wear?” you ask, holding up your ripped shirt.

He laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Damn, my bad.” he looks around and then he takes off his shirt, handing it to you. You raise an eyebrow and take it, putting it on. He walks to the closet and just grabs a shirt from there, putting it on. “I’ll give it back later.” he says, to which you laugh.

You both walk out of the room, seeing two of the frat boys Jake was talking to earlier. They smile smugly and whistle, cheering a bit and you roll your eyes. They give a thumbs up to Jake and he smiles a bit awkwardly before leaning to whisper in your ear, “Let’s get out of here.” You both walk silently as you leave the party. After a moment, he speaks, “Thanks…by the way…and I’ll buy you a new shirt and…I definitely owe you one.”

“You better get into this frat, I swear to God.”

He laughs, “Damn right.” he says as he nudges your arm and you nudge back. “So, how can I make this up to you?”

You think for a moment and then shrug. “It wasn’t all that bad.”

He scoffs, “Gee, thanks.”

You laugh, “You know what I mean.”

He smirks and looks at you. “You know…you look even hotter in my shirt.”

You roll your eyes and laugh. “What a random thing to say.”

He shrugs, “Maybe…we could do this again.”

You look at him, quiet for a moment. “...very funny.”

“I’m serious.” he says as he looks back at you. He smiles a bit and wraps his arm around your shoulder. “Are you down or what?”

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chichiscloset · 1 year

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Soft Life 101: 3 Steps to Escape Your 9-5 Job If You Don’t Want to Work

Before we start, I want to clarify what I mean by “Not wanting to work.”

It means, that I don’t want to exhaust myself. I want to roll out of bed at 8 am then go to a workout class at 9 am. I want to spend my time as I please while keeping my workload to a minimum.

Working consistently, burns me out. I have no desire to prove my worth through productivity, nor do I have any desire to engage in hustle culture. I’m sure many of us can relate to feeling like the pressure to perform is exhausting. This is likely why, “soft life” is the latest trend on social media and has taken the girlies on Tiktok by storm.

In this new soft life era apparently, no one has a job and everyone is a "sahm" or "sahgf". While I understand the desire to escape the matrix and have a man you can fully depend on. Creating a more balanced and fulfilling life does not have to solely depend on your partner (though it helps!).

At the end of the day we still all want money! So how can we create an abundant life while still having a work-life balance?

Step 1: Be willing to make sacrifices

There is no such thing as something for nothing. Get that out of your head! I know we sometimes want to be saved, but unfortunately, life isn’t always a fairytale. Everything that we desire in life requires us to give up something else.

Do you want a better body? Give up junk food and exercise more. Do you want a better man? Give up your dust! To bring in the new we have to get rid of the old. If you want a soft life you’re going to have to strategize and be willing to give up what is no longer serving you.

Step 2: Find a passion you can monetize

*major key*

As the saying goes, “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life”. Find something you enjoy doing, then figure out how you, can earn money from it. Are you good at doing hair? Become a hairdresser. Are you the best dressed in your circle? Become a virtual stylist. I promise you, for whatever talent you have there are people willing to pay you for it!

For myself, I love teaching and writing! Blogging is a great way to share my expertise, create passive income, and create the life of my dreams that don’t necessarily depend on me going into a job. Also, you can make money blogging with a relatively small audience.

Check out my blog post "Make Money When your Young, Pretty & Ambitious." For more on this topic.

Step 3: Invest, invest, invest

*Another major key*

We all need money to survive. There’s no way around it! Ideally, we would live a life where money isn’t an issue and if that is your goal you have to start investing ASAP! By investing in assets eventually, those assets will make you money.

For example, invest in stocks like the S&P 500 (which is an index fund that is essentially many companies in one stock). Invest in stocks that will grow over time and make you more money than you bought them for. There are tons of ways to start investing: choose one!

A few types of investments

Real estate

Stocks

Businesses

If living a soft life is a priority to you start today with these steps that will eventually allow you to either fully retire or work minimally. If you don’t, you’ll just be stuck doing something you don’t enjoy or waiting for prince charming to come and save you.

©Chichiscloset 2023

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dipperdesperado · 1 year

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Get Organized!

I recently made a post about how to get started in doing radical stuff. Said otherwise, that post was meant to answer the question, “Where do I go, when I know the world is fucked?” This post covers similar ground, but is more interested in the theoretical side of things. Not to say it won’t be practical. It’s just saying that if you’re not the kind of person that can read a little bit and feel confident to act, or you like having a little bit more scaffolding, that you also deserve a resource. I’m hoping to contribute to that today. As the title says, we’re going to be focusing on organizing. This is one of those things that is said a lot, but is actually defined much less often. Tangentially, you should be aware and ready for this for literally everything relating to politics. Any word that you hear used, you should always ask for a definition. Many a movement would have gone differently if folks spent more time trying to find semantic alignment. Anyway.

When I say organizing, I mean catalyzing the energy of folks, acting from a specific theory of change. A theory of change is a thought process or method to create some kind of social impact in a particular context. When the world sucks in some particular way, and you want it to stop sucking, the answer is to organize, in the way defined above. By organizing, we lean on the idea of collective power to create changes that are currently only afforded to those with authoritarian power. It’s a game of evening the odds.

I will also note that this assumes that you are going to be framing your work around broad-based movements, that have (mostly) aboveground (as in “legal”) tactics. This is not necessarily a statement of what is correct; small groups that are in concert with larger movements are also able to be successful, even when doing more confrontational tactics.

So, to organize, I’d say it would be useful to be involved in movements already. You can look at my radicalism 100 post to see how that could look. Either way you have to know what your where your niche(s) lie. In other words, what sits in the middle of the intersection between what you like to do, what you are good (or can become good/have a willingness to become good) at, and what is needed in your context. I tend to center the local level, because that is the area where influence is more tangible, and fits into how I see a resilient world coming to fruition. So, you have to ask yourself, “What can I do, that I would enjoy doing, in my community?” Then, you should find some other people who are in that same vibe. Depending on your approach, this may take no time at all, or a lot of time. I listed some ideas for finding folks in radicalism 100, but to reiterate: look for social medias and IRL presences of people who are into the same topics, and connect with them. See where you can plug in, and see where the contours of organizing in your local contexts are. Ideally you can see places where gaps can be filled.

Once you find an issue that you think has potential, and you have a couple of people to do some organizing with, you have what I think of as a catalyst group. This group is meant to start (or assist) in a certain kind of reaction, but not lead it. Trying to control movements is both futile and antithetical to liberation. So, to ground us, we have two very important ingredients: a topic/issue/area of focus to organize around, and a group of folks to work with. Once this is in place, you can co-create a strategy with your organizing team. I’d recommend employing an encircling strategy as your long-term or meta strategy, where multiple sub-strategies and campaigns happen within this frame. Essentially, this allows you to employ campaigns across a matrix of tactics. Within the encircling frame, you can create a campaign (what I consider a “short-term” strategy). Campaigns are a series of actions over time. Strategies are a series of campaigns over time.

A useful way to think of strategic planning is by separating the process into stages, grouped by movement size.

Small: Organize small actions/protests, figuring out ways to build movement visibility and interest

Medium: Focus on scaling up the participation, through mobilizing efforts. Promote your actions, get people involved, and encourage meaningful action.

Large: Create a movement. The kind of thing people hear about.

To organize on the smallest level, the easiest thing might be to just do plan actions that are well within your team’s capacity, organize those actions, and execute. If you can swing it, I’d really recommend to not lean too much into symbolic actions. There are risks with every action, no matter what legal frameworks your locality has. If you’re going to do something, you have to be very intentional with:

what you hope to accomplish through the action

a high likelihood of success for the action

doomsday planning in case something goes wrong

If you’re able to do this, then you will be leagues ahead of a lot of other folks. This is not to make it a race or a competition, but it is moreso to say you can symbolically represent and catalyze action without becoming a martyr.

As you’re doing actions, you should be refining your idea of who’s impacted by the issues more and more. As that picture gets clearer, you should spend more and more time understanding and listening to those folks. Ideally, you get to a point of co-creation, where you are enabling people to fight for themselves and build their autonomy. That is the kind of thing that prevents movements from dying. Organizers should be trying to put themselves out of business, in a sense. Catalysts should be able to come from anywhere.

To scale up, I’d recommend a focus on meeting folks. Take the ideas of deep canvassing, where you empathetically have conversations with whoever is impacted by the issue you’re responding to, through the lens of giving power to those people. Rather than asking them to feed into some established system of power, encourage them to take action into their own hands, as a collective.

I’d also recommend that as capacity grows, build a “positive” or “constructive” power. This can look like a lot of things. Whether it is a block club, neighborhood pod, community council, or community assembly, dedicate energy into creating spaces where people can start building their democratic and consensus muscles. These can simultaneously act as the training ground and alternative governance structure that allows folks to start making decisions for themselves in a very specific way.

This will ideally allow the movement to really start to be intersectional. It should be intersection minded from the outset, but that can be difficult to meaningfully actualize in the early stages of the movement. since single-issue movements are inherently brittle (if your movement revolves around getting something on a ballot, winning or losing just ends the movement)—there are throughlines that connect all movements, and those lines should be made visible and traveled. Environmentalists should fight for housing rights, LandBack, Reparations, and a host of other things. The more developed our networks, the stronger our movements will be.

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theorahsart · 1 month

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Would you happen to be able to compile a list of all the evidence/mentioned traits you know of that point towards Robespierre having autism, possibly with some sources of said evidence? You have my deepest gratitude if you do happen to be so kind as to take the time to answer this ask.

Hello! I'm sorry for taking a while to answer this- it of course was the kind of ask that requires some time to write! I'm gonna break it up into two posts, I hope that's okay. I'll just @ you when I do the next part.

I feel like I should start with saying that I'm not an expert in history (feel like I have loads to learn tbh). But I am an expert in autism, as I'm autistic, and know the topic thoroughly from cultural/social/medical perspectives- several of my educational comics are used in training programs by doctors and diagnoticians. So, you can trust everything I say about autism in this post.

You probably can't trust everything I say about Robespierre though lol. Compared to some actual historians I've talked to here, I haven't developed the skills of being able to discern when the info I get in books can be fully trusted, and the more I study Frev the more evident it is that just because I've read smth in a book, doesn't mean it can be trusted as fact haha. I've read 3 different posts from different historians in the last year that've debunked several 'facts' presented to me in published books loool

But anyway! I still personally think Robespierre was autistic, and I'll lay out why in the 2nd post.

I think it would take me more free time than I have to list *all* the evidence I've come across, so it seems best to break down how you diagnose autism in modern day, and then put that in context to some examples.

So this first part is just explaining *one way* in which medical professionals break down autism and the traits. Then in the next post I'll explain how I've applied those to Robespierre specifically.

How we think about and diagnose autism from modern day pov

I wanna start by breaking down how diagnoticians think about Autism specifically.

Autism doesn't encompass a specific set of traits that every single person must have in order to be diagnosed, because autistic traits vary so much from person to person.

Instead, you break down a diagnosis into different areas of life in which someone might be struggling. How this is broken down can vary a little between tests, but it's generally split into these areas:

Social

Social reciprocity (how sociable you are with others)

Non verbal comminication

Verbal communication

Maintaining relationships

Restrictive and Repetitive behaviour

Repetitive speech or movements (basically stimming)

Routines and change

Highly fixed/intense interests

Hyper or hypo reaction to sensory input

And then basically, if enough of these areas are having a significant impact on your life, you're dx'd as Autistic.

You can see when broken down in this way, that:

You can be doing fine in some of these areas, but still be dx'd if there's a lot of other areas listed you're struggling in.

A NT person will likely have some sort of trouble in one or two of the listed areas (because we all have strengths and weaknesses). That doesn't mean they're autistic.

An autism dx is concluded from two things- if you struggle in more of these areas than less. And if those struggles are significantly impacting your life.

Just to note, I'm only talking from a diagnosis pov here, which is wrapped up in cultural contexts and the reasons we decided to give this way of being a label. Theres lots of traits we can also break down that aren't based around what you find difficult.

You could be autistic and go your whole life not knowing or needing a diagnosis, if say, you lived a lifestyle where you could avoid people and situations that are making you suffer. Your autism might make you excel in life, depending on your life.

But just esp in modern day, many of us dont have that luxury.

I'm using this type of dx in the context of Robespierre because I believe he did have difficulties that impacted his life and career, and it's significant to me to compare his behaviour and health to other politicians working in the same stressful circumstances.

But yeah I'll write this in a second post. Thanks for your patience!! 🙏

#frev #french revolution #robespierre #maximilien robespierre #autism #autistic #neurodiversity #actually autistic

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 22 days

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I just read your response to star-anise and I wanted to say thank you. It's horrific how NPD is demonized. People will paint every move as malicious, i.e if you make a sacrifice and you're not a narcissist, you're selfless and kind, if you are, you're playing martyr for praise and attention. I find it interesting that people can be labeled as either bad or good for the exact same actions or reactions depending on your likeability and prior labels

when I was in my first anthropology class, my one-day thesis advisor started interrpgating us about WHY certain observed phenomena happened. He asked us why it is that societies tend to send men off to war, and we gave him a million different answers and he tore into everyone, forcing us to look deep into our assumptions of what reality was. He asked us about why we jail homeless people and he did the same thing, ripping apart the explanations our class had been taught from childhood. He asked us why incest was generally considered morally wrong and even then none of our answers could withstand his interrogations.

We were 16, 17, 18, and 19 year olds mind you, he wasn't expecting us to be debate geniuses. But he picked emotionally impactful topics on purpose and held us all in that classroom looking into a mirror and explaining to ourselves what we believed and why while he undermined everything we thought we knew.

Lass was a dick in so many ways, and my decision to respond to his assholery with spiteful rivalry and dogged refusal to cower before him and his smug interrogations of our conceptualizations of reality made me one of his favorite students. He met my wife back when we were still dating (she sat in on my thesis peer-presentation at the end of my senior year) and told me she was a keeper because of the questions she asked me and the other presenters during our Q&As. He was a man who liked living in the uncertain and prickly, and I have to admit that his approach was contagious in some ways.

When I think about the origins of the language of "narcissist", of Narcissus the lover of beauty and the admirer of rare treasures, of the vengeful and insecure Greek gods who tended to dole out vicious punishments to any human who dares to see humanity as equal to divinity, of the angry backlash that hegemony always has to anyone who is unable or unwilling to buy into its inflicted premises....

Well. What seems more likely? That there is some class of people biologically incapable of comfortable coexistence with other humans due to moral debauchery? Or that there is a group of people whose willingness and ability to be subjugated by hegemonic power structures is incompatible with social structures that normalize systemic abuses and violations of self?

I'm not saying that means someone is a perfect flower who has never done anything wrong, but like. Maybe individual accountability for systemic mechanisms of interpersonal and social abuse is still bad even when it's against people who do wrong/bad things sometimes.

I dunno. I think people are comforted by easy moral answers, but I spent 8 year working with Lass in various capacities and never met anyone who could fully step up to the task of defending their beliefs against his interrogations. Like. the man was a moral-grey-area metal-detector of a human being, and no matter how nuanced we thought we'd gotten in our analysis, he was always able to pull a further assumption out for us to examine. I learned to distrust my own feelings of confidence in really interesting ways. At this point if I think I have something all figured out, I take that as a sign that I should take a step back and look for my blind spots. Which I think was the point of Lass's trial by fire approach to teaching in many ways, damn the man.

People are really confident in their hatred of and rage towards "narcissists" and that tells me that the blind spots aren't being monitored. That's all I really need to say that I'm unwilling to take anyone's assertions about narcissism on faith. I don't pretend to have answers (though I continue to find the pursuit of those answers in conversation an admirable and enjoyable process) but I think it's important to be loud about that so that people don't gloss over that element of what I'm saying when I'm communicating about functional interpersonal dynamics.

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planefood · 4 months

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What is one lore bit about your characters that you've ALWAYS wanted to share, but no one ever "asked the right question" for you to say it?

Oh gosh I would've been able to answer this a few months back but now I can't remember what I've been itching to share. But I do want to share more about the world behind my robot guys outside of just the robots and how they work. If I've spoken about this topic before in an ask uhh this new ask is retconning anything I said previously

I'm gonna talk about the history of robots here and how the affected the technology of this specific universe. When I say "robot" I mean sentient robots unless I specify otherwise.

Robots first started being created in the mid-late 19th century in the form of complicated automatons and talking telegraph machines, these were... creepy at best but also very expensive. Only maybe 1 or 2 existed at any given time in the world. None of these first robots made it to the modern day but there's probably the shell of a few in some museum somewhere.

up until the 1950s the creation of robots was sparse, often just used for factories or as attractions. But right around the midcentury the idea that robots could exist beside these new fancy computers was something that was highly considered.

While the US was focusing most of it's efforts on things like the computers, it was the UK that started the "robot age" in the late 60s in the form of robots like Freddy and Able Mabel, who was just a concept until someone created a working version about a decade later. (These are actual robots/robot concepts btw their history is interesting)

the UKs focus on robotics was an extreme success, robots regularly out preformed what was expected of them. Even the most simple ones created at the Universities seemed to be able to interact with humans in a more complex way. People started asking questions when the robots seemed a little more, intelligent and emotional than they should be. As if they had working sentient minds.

Then the 80s hit, the decade of the personal computer and the decade of the robot. Creating robots became cheaper and so companies hired people to build robots for them to do the tedious work that people didn't want to do. These robots could socialize like humans, walk like humans, plan like humans and seemingly feel emotions like humans. While personal computers were hitting the market, robots could seemingly do things that computers couldn't and faster. So their demand for them rose and robots started popping up all over the world. You'd now see robots on public transport, at your local supermarket and at pubs. But this was also the decade where robot rights were called into question

At this stage robots were seen as unfeeling, any emotion they conveyed was just programmed into them and not something they actually felt. It wasn't until the creators of these robots stood up for them alongside the robots themselves that laws were passed to prevent the cruel mistreatment of robots.

Not all countries have the same laws or had them pass at the same time so different robots can be treated differently/built differently depending on that. Which I might get deeper into in a different post :-)

#ask #Tandy Chipperton

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ace-of-gay · 1 year

Text

Little mouse in an ocean

Stucky x little reader

Word count: 1,803 words oops lol

Warnings: intense sensory overload that leads to a more internalized meltdown, loki shows up, sippy, caregiver names like daddy, and dada, little names like baby boy, and munch short ofr munchkin, fidget items, sound canceling headphones, chest binding, comfort items.

Edited to the best of my ability

Age regression is a coping mechanism, if your not knowledgeable and uncomfortable of the topic either read up on it or ignore please <3

Reader is a trans man, no weight, ethnicity or hair type mentioned, reader is at least slightly able bodied in this

Dont like it dont read it especially when theres warnings

You’d been anticipating the event for a while so it didn't sneak up on you or anything but the Impending stress of having to mask for several hours and converse with people like it was on your everyday agenda, this was nothing of how you liked it, well beyond the several month warning, it gave you time to prepare both mentally and physically, gathering items you would need incase of a worst case scenario in a messenger bag, ranging from two different means of music, noise canceling headphones around the front part of the strap, Bluetooth earbuds fully charged and inside of the most front pouch accompanied by an infinity cube graced with rubber edges to not click like a normal cube, not wanting to bring attention to your discomfort in any situation.

Your favorite book, a couple small sweet and salty snacks depending on the situational needs, alongside a comfort snack , your smaller communication cards, a few more fidgets and essential items.

Bucky and Steve helped pack this bag for you, it being perfectly assembled for anything you could possibly need.

With that Bucky took you out to find a nice casual suit with fabrics that don’t irritate you.

All the small things arranged, it had your mind settled enough not to stress through the remaining time.

That is until you got there, when walking into the event hall you tug on the bottom of the jacket to your suit, adjusting it, "do you even pass?", whether or not you’re shorter, curvier, if your voice is deep enough , or if your handshake was firm enough, what ever your though in comparison may have been the idea of not passing was terrifying, Steve walking on your left puts his right hand on your shoulder leaning in, "you look handsome, i promise you’re absolutely perfect" his whispers calmed the choppy waters in your mind from becoming rapids.

You worked with some of these people, you knew a good portion of faces, knew even more names, your social analyzing has you determining who is good to talk to and who isn’t purely based on how they carry themselves, the people they talk to and how people look when they walk away, all factors you use to keep you most comfortable.

The best places to be in situations are either outside separate from people or around the food table where most often people are too occupied with collecting snacks and other food items, keeping your talking to a minimum and keeping your social battery higher for longer.

You figured you’d head over that way if it felt dire but for now you stuck with Bucky and Steve.

Trailing through the large people filled room, your boyfriends on each side of you to keep unwanted physical touch to a minimum.

Director fury approaches you three, shaking each persons hands, you know fury pretty well, the conversation going quick and simple, just as easy as the night had gone so far until people started ushering Steve one way and Bucky the other, leaving you disoriented, not entirely sure who you should go with, the confused lapse in time has you loosing them in the crowd, that’s okay, you’re big right now, you can fend for yourself, maybe find Nat or Thor, maybe Thor forced Loki to come along with.

That would be nice, a silent companion to keep you company while sitting in a dark corner avoiding most interactions, actually corners probably have the most amount of echo, at least perspective wise that is, you'd be able to hear everyone and than being next to a corn means you’re closer to the sound reflection hearing it twice, that’s something that would absolutely irritate you, possibly even give you a splitting headache.

Being in this room no one by your side, having to navigate your way through a crowd of now unfamiliar faces, peoples conversations bouncing off of one another, high heels going in all directions, clicking like shark teeth in infested feeding water, social vampires, maybe not everyone but gods did it feel like everyone.

People feasting off of communication, jingling keys like lures, or maybe bells, like the service indication bell in your local comfort food restaurant, so many indications, so many people, all sounds equally intrusive you just want to shut it out but you cant until you’re in a place where no one will question why you have headphones on at a party.

A constantly shifting maze of people, hands patting your back as people pass through the crowd, a few people stopping you for conversations that you try to keep to a minimum saying you’re looking for Bucky or Steve.

Standing in such a room alone, you would be able to feel the air currents change but this room packed with more people than an official tony stark party, it felt like the air itself had stiffened and is on the brink of collapsing in your lungs, it felt suffocating to the point holding your breath would be a better means of keeping yourself together than breathing at all.

With everything swirling, people constantly touching you, talking to you, your mind slips fast, in moments like this you put on chapstick and pretend its superglue so not to make a cosmic fool of yourself if you could even manage to get words out.

You finally make it out of the crowd only to realize most of the drinks are probably spiked, you refrain from drinking anything you don’t know, you make a b line to the patio door stepping out into the cool fresh air, the bite of cold in your lungs amongst a deep breath being the edge of the blade, it was soothing, so soothing that everything from inside broke loose, a quiet choked sob broke from your chest, if you were big right now you would know what to do but you feel so small, so very small, like a mouse in the ocean next to a baleen whale.

Your hands trembling as though electricity was pulsing through your veins, rapidly looking around, dazed vision making everything quite unclear, bumping into someone you begin to stumble back, just your luck, both big and small you know that waterfall of black locks anywhere, and he knew you.

Loki, one person who understood the entirety of the situation, carefully he leads you aside, "you’re okay, its going to be okay, we'll find Bucky and Steve" mumbling it out quietly, the first vast difference between him and the room, his voice like Bucky and Steve’s voices was safe.

He takes the headphones off the front strap of your messenger bag, helping you put them on over your ears, feeling the world go silent, sound has pressure so the lack of sound felt less like a kick drum in your ears and more like a deep breath in winter air.

Taking the communication cards out of your bag he finds two cards, showing each one, you look at him with big eyes, tears still threatening to spill you show him the mouse card.

Small.

He nods, handing you one of the small fidgets, closing your bag and taking your hand, into his cold delicate one.

He signals for you to take a few deep breaths with him and than you’re once again back into the warped room, warm of people, sharp of knowing all the sounds, he leads you through the very best route but even still people are bumping into your, patting your back when passing and trying to stop you in your tracks.

You can see Steve’s golden hair practically glowing, you let go of Loki’s hand trying to rush past people to your boyfriend but another sturdy intruding body gets in the way, bumping you causing you to drop your fidget, looking to the ground to find it.

A small mouse in the ocean amongst a group of narwhals in the eye of a thunderstorm.

Electricity raging in your hands, in your arms, in your chest and in a split second your dominant hand slams down hard onto your thigh three times just above your knee, grabbing your fidget, doing your best to hold back the electricity, you watch as Steve turns around.

Its as if he’s in slow motion, you cant get to him fast enough, you’re being held against his chest, holding tightly to his shirt fabric creasing in your grasp, he’s talking to Loki getting the most of what he can on what happened.

He has you turn around so you can walk but your eyes are closed he’s directing you through, making sure nothing touches you.

You feel the cool air touch your tear streaked cheeks cooling the tear trails.

Sitting in the car you wait for Bucky, eating one of your snacks and drinking a water based drink Steve had poured into a spare sippy he kept in the car.

"I’m so sorry munch, i turned away and you were gone, we didn't mean to put you through that, I’m so proud of you for finding Loki and letting him help", you nuzzle further into his side, touch may be unsafe but theirs was magic.

Bucky hops in the front seat turning to look at you and Stevie cuddled together in the back, reaching out for Bucky he takes your hand and holds it to his lips, he can tell just how small you are from how easy you are to maneuver. "Hi baby boy, daddy is here, lets go home now, is that okay?" You didn't respond, you were too busy feeling the metal plates of his hand.

The drive home was quick, tucked into dada Steve’s side, feeling the thrum of his heart in his chest between each breath, now inside in comfortable clothes and out of your binder one of Steve’s hoodies on you with the sleeves rolled up so your hands could peek out, laying safely between both of your caregivers, the havoc of the day having tired you out.

Bucky gets a notification saying that the food he ordered was delivered, he leaves only to return with dinner and your stuffy he picked up from the living room on his way back.

Little jerks and jolts here and there from remnant electricity occasionally causing you to hold your breath only for one of your daddies to find a new way to remind you to breathe, this time dada Stevie tapped the tip of your nose causing you to quietly coo, breathing.

Words aren’t an expectation, neither are sounds, they just want you to feel better and if that means holding you safely tucked between them than so be it, they would do anything and everything to keep their boy safe.

Because they’re with you til the end of the line.

This is twice as long as i meant for it to be but you absolutely deserve a longer fic, thank you so much for your patience and thank you for requesting <33 @valetim09

I had to fix the layout because for some odd reason it got all mixed up

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dr-futbol-blog · 4 months

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Home, Pt. 2

While McKay and Ford are on the alien planet, we find Sheppard in his room reading War and Peace. The book is shown here for the first time but not for the last. This is a pretty clever bit of subtext.

Most people proooobably haven't read the book (less so when the series aired) and based on the title, they think it's about war (and peace). But it's actually about relationships that take place during wartime, against the backdrop of war, which is also what SGA is. The war with the wraith rages on in the background while we follow the relationships of a few individuals. On a grander scheme, the novel teaches us that the tapestry of history is woven by the moral choices of individuals.

There are three main characters, Pierre, Andrei and Natasha. Tolstoy's own sexuality has been the topic of academic debate for decades and decades, and it is pretty well accepted that even if he wasn't out and about bisexual, he did experience and expressed same-sex desire, especially in his youth; and this desire can be read into his works, particularly War and Peace (cf. J. S. Castro, Queer Tolstoy: A Psychobiography). The homoerotic vibes between Pierre and Andrei have been noted by many, and they start from the very beginning of the book, which is where Sheppard is in this episode. The fact that he hasn't gotten very far in his reading is lampshaded in the episode.

The thing is. This must have been the entire purpose of bringing up the book in this episode. Because immediately before we see Sheppard with the book, we are on a call with McKay to the alien planet where he tells Atlantis that "We'll be back in time for supper." Many readers have noted that there's a lot of subtext between Andrei and Pierre at the beginning of the book:

Like, Sheppard was reading this exact thing at the start of the book while McKay was talking about coming back for supper.

Sheppard is sitting on his bed reading a homoerotic romance novel about Pierre, the large-bodied, ungainly and socially awkward guy and his taller, handsome military officer best friend with clear-cut features, Andrei. It's a little on the nose, is it not?

I mean, there is the plausible deniability. Given the time of its writing, the readers, if they so choose, can read the novel in heteronormative way. It's homoerotic but not explicitly homosexual. But, uh.

The point is, while Sheppard is attracted to Mckay, while he finds him all kinds of hot, underneath it all he is a big softy with a romantic heart. This is why Rodney "getting the girl" becomes so important to him when we near the end of the series. He wants the man he loves to have his happily ever after. He wants it so hard that he ignores all the signs that point to the fact that it is him, he's Rodney's happily ever after, and not the woman that we are shown time and again is totally and utterly wrong for him when the two (Sheppard and Keller) are juxtaposed. The woman that is in his arms in the final scene, where McKay's final words are "What else do I need?" with a lost, searching look toward Sheppard. That was the actual final scene of the show. But I get ahead of myself.

In this scene, Weir actually mentions that Sheppard is on page 17 of the book (lampshade!). Depending on the pagination, it would seem like he's a few pages after the supper scene. Possibly the page with "Moreover, he could see by her manner that she was one of those women - mostly mothers - who having once made up their minds, will not rest until they have gained either end, and are prepared if necessary to go on insisting day after day and hour after hour, and even to make scenes." This would fit fell with Weir barging into his quarters, Sheppard having been reading the actual the supper scene during Weir and McKay's supper call.

It's also interesting that Weir mentions McKay by name right before this:

Now, this is a pretty flirty look Sheppard gives Weir, especially if compared with the "You said it wasn't fog" and the "Of course we would" looks he gave McKay earlier. While I will argue that they are differently motivated, if we interpret one of the looks as flirty we should do so with the others. Weir gets one look, McKay gets two.

However. What Sheppard is actually doing here is categorically refusing her request. He does not want to go back to earth. Following her mention of McKay, he is not just telling her that it's not happening. He's using his charm to make sure he gets his way. Here, he wants something from Weir and hence uses the weapon that he knows gets the job done (and in fact, he kind of starts manipulating Weir to get her to go instead). With McKay? He basically wanted nothing besides getting a reaction from the guy, to build rapport, maybe to get him to smile.

Like, I am betting there are hosts of people that read Weir and Sheppard's interaction as romantic just because they are a man and a woman and it, sweet fancy Moses, takes place in his bedroom! But from the look she gives him by the end, she understood exactly what he was trying to do. Sheppard was damn cold here. They are both saying one set of things and having an entirely other conversation underneath about the balance of power. The fact that he sounds so soft and looks so friendly, unthreatening, just makes it even more chilling. Neither of them is willing to budge.

It is also notable that by this time Weir knows to use McKay in an attempt to manipulate Sheppard. She is a smart woman.

The scene transitions to Ford and McKay talking about going back while McKay works on the DHD. Ford asks him if he'd want to go back, given the chance. McKay tells him that it's a moot question, he can't go because he's needed. This is in juxtaposition with the conversation that just took place on Atlantis between Weir and Sheppard. Unlike McKay, neither of them is irreplaceable. Not really. They could leave, they just don't want to. But the thing is, while McKay tells Ford this, his constructed reality shows us that it isn't what he really thinks deep inside -- that he's invaluable everywhere. His cavalier attitude is masking the fact that he, too, just wants to stay because he is lonely. He needs to be needed.

On Atlantis, Teyla suggests that Sheppard might want to "reunite with loved ones" back on earth, and Sheppard can't even face her, can't even look her in the eye as he lies: "Yeah, I would love to go back." You see, his loved ones are not on earth. Once he starts listing earth things to Teyla in an attempt to distract her from looking into what's really going on with him, his eyes actually light up as he remembers popcorn, the time they had it in Hide and Seek (S01E03), and how they could get more.

You know, more of the stuff that we saw him offering to Rodney as the very first thing in that scene but that he didn't actually get to share with the man because he couldn't eat any due to his personal shield. They could get more of it. To do that thing all over again. Only with Rodney being able to share some with him. Cause he's thinking about Rodney pretty much all of the time now. Teyla's wtf? reaction to all of this is pretty telling.

Sheppard runs up the stairs once they get an alert from the gate. He looks hella relieved to be hearing about McKay, to hear that he's okay (and won't be needing extraction by puddle jumper that takes 804 years). Like he's letting out a breath here he hadn't even realized he was holding in:

Once they learn that they will be able to contact earth, Sheppard does the lip thing of not knowing how to deal with difficult emotions. His face does like a dozen different things here:

He's happy, he's sad, he's apprehensive, he's unsure, he's resigned, and he sure as hell doesn't want anyone to see any of this.

Next, we presumably enter the constructed reality. The entities couldn't allow them to dial the gate to another galaxy so it follows that once Weir, Teyla, and Sheppard gated to the planet, all of them were rendered unconscious.

So whose reality are we watching as they contact earth? It could be a shared one like they have at the end. But it's also possible we are already watching Weir's constructed reality. Here, she gets what she wants. A successful contact to earth, a way for them to get back, Rodney is well-behaved, supportive and cheerful. And what's interesting: Sheppard is short and nonchalant with McKay (he rolls his eyes and dismisses him with "What's there to be ready for?"), and keeps glancing at Weir who he stands side-by-side with.

Not really behavior we've seen from him previously. Yes, he could be tense from conflicted feelings regarding a return to earth but this reads like Weir's wish-fulfillment fantasy. We even see her send in her personal IDC. It's possible they all experienced some variation of this with their own particular flavour but I would argue that the part where they contact earth is already a part of the fabrication.

Continued in Pt. 3 whence we finally get inside their minds!

#stargate atlantis #sga #sga meta #john sheppard #sheppard is bi #rodney mckay #rodney is gay #ep. home #war and peace #leo tolstoy #ep. hide and seek #ep. enemy at the gate

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sorendeimos · 6 months

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In the quiet hours of the night... his mind is deafening.

How I perceive Severus Snape, part 2 | part 1

Notes: Go into this understanding that to Me, Severus is deeply flawed and broke and trauma filled. There are parts of him I see as soft and squishy, covered by hate to keep Them from bruising. If you don’t like that, do not read this. Otherwise, enjoy.

TW: Mentions of alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sex, physical and emotional abuse, poor mental health, death, manipulation Please do not read if you cannot handle these topics. This part is a lot lighter than part one, though it still has a few sore spots.

Positive Attributes

𖤐 studious and driven, severus is someone to have on your side when you need information. He likely already knows what you need and where to find it. 𖤐 severus is attentive, noticing things you likely didn’t. This often leads to him giving support before needed or compensating for things ahead of time. 𖤐 severus is quite witty and funny, he’s often cracking jokes, but his deadpan tone often makes Them fall flat. 𖤐 severus is incredibly thoughtful, especially when giving gifts. He observes people constantly, and his gifts to others on holidays or birthdays are often times things that are so touching, it's staggering.

𖤐 moments of bliss 𖤐

Negative Attributes

𖤐 severus is so incredibly stubborn. Once he has an idea to do something, well, he will not give up, even if doing it causes him personal harm. 𖤐 severus doesn’t sleep well, so he is constantly grumpy and snappish. 𖤐 severus has terrible social skills and a carefully black tone and expression. This often leads to him coming off angry, mean, or spiteful. 𖤐 severus wears his distaste plainly. It’s clear if he hates you. 𖤐 compliments are earned, to him, so you doing well or being kind to him often doesn’t come with thanks or praise, which can make him seem standoffish. 𖤐 insults are his way of expressing love and care.

𖤐 severus as song lyrics 𖤐

Musical tastes

𖤐 severus never stuck to one genre or another. The music of her youth is that chosen from discard or discount bins. 𖤐 lots of the music severus holds dear is music that is a gift or a moment of perspective shifting.𖤐 her favourite music to brew to us, classical OR absolute rubbish noise music. It depends on what is brewing, delicate potions get the latter. 𖤐 severus owns multiple band tees, also usually discounted, all unknown.𖤐 severus gets a lot of Her love for classical music from ballet classes with Lily. Her favourite pieces spawn from duets they created or performed together and she still hums them to herself often.

𖤐 severus’s playlist 𖤐

Severus has a dynamic relationship with music, it’s typically all around him either playing in his head, him humming while working, or playing out loud while he brews. His tastes are varying, vast, unexpected and usually not the same day to day.

Severus’s clothing

𖤐 for a very long time, clothing meant absolutely nothing. Clothes were a means of covering herself and keeping warm or staying cool. It isn’t until years down the road, probably around 14 or 15, that style mattered. 𖤐 severus, after a day of ballet class, went into town with Lily to hunt down some new leotards and, on a dare, tried one on. It was tight, constricting. She loved it. Lily bought her the leotard and some tights. 𖤐 from that day forward, the pair of them would find and try on anything and everything, Lily gaining a love for baggy cargo pants and jeans, severus a love for dresses and skirts

𖤐 Pinterest outfits severus would wear 𖤐

╰⌲ teens

╰⌲ twenties

hobbies

𖤐 severus has very few hobbies and usually things that were found to be creepy or entirely unexpected 𖤐 they can draw, often doing flowers, bugs, or creatures in the margins of their textbooks and adding art to assignments. 𖤐 severus also does ballet with lily and has for years. The two of them have done duets, individual performances, and won awards. They practice during the school year in a neglected wing that the two of them transfigured. 𖤐 severus also paints, plays piano and violin, can sing, writes long-winded essays on long forgotten topics, and speaks four languages besides English. 𖤐 the languages: German, Latin, Korean, and French.

End Part Two

#severus snape #sordidwriting #severus prince #pro severus snape #headcannons #severus snape perception #harry potter fanfiction #sorende #pro snape #snape content #professor snape #snape fandom #severus snape writing #severus snape playlist #Spotify

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jessequinones · 6 months

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Writing Advice: Swear Words

Swear words are a hot topic (for some reason) after all, they’re just words...right? Well, yes and no. You see curse words are more so, empathise words. They help express our emotions.

For example, take a look at these different sentences.

“Yeah, I’ll do it!” She said excitedly.

“Fuck yeah, I’ll do it!” She said excitedly.

Both sentences are about a woman agreeing to do something she’s excited about, however, one feels more excited than the other.

So...what’s the problem? If swear words are mainly used as a way to empathise what someone is saying, why do people have a problem with it? At what point does it feel like these words feel forced? How about overused? Coming out of nowhere? I don’t think I can answer any of those questions, I’m a writer, not a psychologist but I’ll try my best to explain what I see going on in media when it comes to swear words.

Swear words are childish: This one makes me chuckle because I was told growing up, swear words are for adults, now that I am one, I’m told if I use swear words I’m acting like a child...so which one is it?

I believe this kind of mentality comes from the fact when people witness others swearing, it’s because they have big emotions. This could be when people are angry, frustrated, or even happy. It’s almost like you can’t show big emotions for some reason?

If you’re creating a scene and want to drive the emotions home, put in a few swear words. This can have many different effects depending on how it’s used. For example, if swearing is a normal thing in your books, but you have one character who doesn’t swear. After a big emotional scene where that character who doesn’t swear is at their lowest point if all of a sudden they softly tell someone to fuck off, those words will have more impact than just telling someone else to go away.

You can also have someone just be happy as the example in the beginning suggested. Swearing can show just how excited someone is. If you need help showing off some big emotional scenes, try throwing in a swear word or two and see how I come across.

It’s impolite to swear: Let’s circle around the word “impolite”, what does it mean? People say it all the time, it’s impolite to use swear words, to stare at others, to burp in a restaurant, etc. According to the Oxford Dictionary, impolite means to have bad manners, but who dictates manners?

The deeper I go, the more I’m going down the social construct of swear words, and mannerism, but stay with me.

Let’s say there are two different families, one military, the other religious. One thinks swearing is fine, the other thinks it’s impolite...which is correct? Neither, it’s up to you to figure out what makes you comfortable and what doesn’t, however, if, in your opinion, swearing is “impolite” while you can ask people to keep it down while you’re around, don’t try and change them. That's impolite.

If you think swearing is normal, and it’s in your story, and others tell you to take it out, fuck them. If you, the writer of your story see nothing wrong with swearing and want to add those words in then by all means, go for it, it’s your story. You don’t have to change anything just because someone else didn’t like those words.

Swear words are for the uneducated: This kind of mentality is just stupid. There’s no reason to suggest you’re uneducated if you swear. You can’t tell me if a scientist breaks their own experiment due to frustration and they swear because of it that they’re no longer as smart as they were ten seconds ago.

If the reasoning for this is by pointing at poor and uneducated people to prove your point...that won’t change my opinion besides making me not like you. There’s no study which proves swearing affects your level of education or financial success.

Have educated people swear in your stories, if that’s the kind of language they’ll use, make them use it. There’s no reason to restrain yourself if it doesn’t feel right.

Kids shouldn’t swear: Have you seen video game lobbies? Kids swear and it’s fine. As I said, swear words help show off big emotions and kids are emotional, let them swear. If your story allows for swearing and you have kids, again, you don’t have to restrain yourself by making them not swear, if the setting allows for it, let them swear.

If you use swear words too much they’ll lose their value: While that’s true, partially, it shouldn’t be used as a way to get others not to swear. Yes, if you have a character that swears every other sentence, then those swear words will start to be just normal words. However, you don’t need to change how they speak if swearing is a part of their vocabulary and swearing every other word is something they do. They’re not uneducated, impolite, or childish, they just swear a lot and that’s fine.

Swear words, while empathising with the emotions we go through, doesn’t have to be this big thing every time a swear word is spoken. It can just be used as a word, a filler word if that. Sometimes if a character who swears all the time suddenly stops and just tells someone to "get out", that could be just as impactful as the character who never swears to say the word, fuck off.

You shouldn’t swear, you’re a …: This is just stupid, insert anything you want in the blank but just because you’re [___] doesn’t mean you can’t swear. (Unless your job is working with children you probably shouldn’t swear at the kids. You don’t want them to repeat what you said, going home and having the parents try and get you fired.)

I’ve seen this used against disabled and indigenous people, where others say they shouldn’t swear because they're setting a bad example for their community...no they're not. There’s no reason why people in a minority shouldn’t be allowed to swear. Also if you’re a teacher, and don’t swear while at work, if you swear off work you should be fine. You’re off work and have a life. You don’t have to keep being a teacher even when you’re no longer getting paid.

In your books, don’t restrain yourself by making some characters not swear because they're a [___] It’s your story, do what you want.

Swear words feel force: This might be the one take where it has some merit. Even those who don’t mind swearing can still tell if something feels forced or not and trying to convey natural swearing in a book is a bit difficult.

If you’re creating a story and it has swear words in it, I think the tone will be the big indicator if your swear words feel forced or not. If your story is mainly written like a YA novel, but you wanted it to be more adult so you added swear words, the tone might make it seem like those words are a bit forceful.

If you’re writing a darker story with gore and violence, swear words in those stories might come across as a bit more natural. However, too much swearing can be seen as trying too hard, while at the same time, even if your story is a bit more on the darker side if you never swore until ten chapters in, even if the setting makes sense for swear words, it can still come out as unnatural.

For example, when I read Dragons and Skylines: Book 1 Feathers and Gold, there are swear words in it, however, I think it’s because it felt like a YA novel that when they did appear I was caught off guard by them. The word “fuck” only appears five times and the word “shit” only appears three times, so when they do appear, it’s so far and in-between that I never expect them.

This might all come down to beta reader preference. You’ll need beta readers who are fine with swearing and let you know how those words came across. If it feels like those words are a bit force, changing up the tone might help but it’s most likely gonna be trial and error. Just remember everyone has their own opinions on swear words and if all else fails just go with what you think is best.

When are the times you should avoid swearing?

It mainly comes down to marketability. Children's and YA books, you probably don’t want to be dropping the F-bomb. Anything higher than YA and you’re probably fine. While I personally think swearing is fine, and don’t care if children swear, cursing has such a negative connotation that if your children's book has swear words, it’ll never get picked up by parents. Even ones who are fine with swearing will probably avoid picking up your book. The same goes for YA stories. Most YA stories are bought by parents for their children. (Even though in most YA stories, the setting they live in, feels like swearing would be a common vocabulary.) Apparently the Hunger Games, a dystopian hell whole, only mildly uses the words “hell” and “damn” and those aren’t even swear words! Have y'all seen the kind of world Katniss is in? I feel like swearing is fine in that setting but what do I know?

Other than trying to sell your book to a particular audience. Swear words can be used in nearly anything you want. Now before I warp this up, I want to point out the difference between swear words and slurs. Swear words help empathise the emotions we go through. Slurs are for the express purpose of demeaning someone or a group of people. Just so we’re clear, slurs are bad, and swears are fine, there’s a difference.

#writing #writeblr #book #books #writers on tumblr #book writing #creative writing #writer #on writing #writer stuff #writers of tumblr #writerscommunity #writers #author #writing advice #swear words #boop

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ironm4n · 1 year

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wait I already asked for sum but I'm asking again — haha sorry

fem werewolf reader x garroth - my street location but after all the chaos so garroth is a werewolf too

nobody knows reader is a wolf as she got bullied for it when she was young, way before high school and she learned how to hide her ears and tail so she always did and eventually it became about of an afterthought at times although it was a topic she hates thinking abt

reader is Katelyn's best friend as they used to play volleyball together in pdh, garroth and everybody else obviously knows her too but Katelyn was closest with her. She always kept her friend group smaller than most and she was knows to be sweet, although she had an attitude and a sarcastic tone at times, which Katelyn loves most about her. tldr garroth and reader become close but he feels detached from everyone, as if he's keeping them at arms length, due to his trauma. Garroth has a breakdown in public when hanging w everyone (for reasons you can think of sorry Juliet 😭) and idk things happen and reader opens up to make him feel better and smooch they're baes

a/n this is such a fun request i LOVE this !! and tysm for requesting <3 i have a few other requests which I'll definitely get to eventually :)

not proof read !!! sorry, wrote this at half 2am and i really didn't wanna read it through😭

also the pic is from Pinterest:

Garroth Ro'meave x fem!Wolf!Reader.

Love.

A social construct made up by lonely people who find sorrow in their isolation. Yet, no matter how much versatility love had in the eyes and, most importantly, hearts of people, the pain and adrenaline and even the dependancy love can cause is seen as a fundamental process of loving and being "normal". Now, I know this sounds pessimistic and something that a typical single, and way too desperate to mingle, person would say, I adore the idea of love and the feeling it gives us. Sometimes, life feels so meaningless and unnecessary, so the feeling of love and even the hurt or happiness it can often bring can make us as people feel so much less alien.

Now, the reason i'm so fixated on the topic of romance is due to the current predicament i find myself in. In high school, my friend Aphmau fell desperately in love with Aaron Lycan, it was cute. What was even cuter was the fact they stuck it out and are even currently engaged! Sure, we lost a figurative single soldier who ended up being taken but that was fine, it was fun fos us to gossip about and hope we could have what they have. Kawaii— no, Nana got into a relationship with Zane which was... unexpected to say the least, but it was nice to know Zane had opened up to someone other than Aphmau and that Nana finally had something she had always wanted. Katelyn broke up with Jeffory in high school too, she went through a tough time but i knew my best friend was going to be okay, and soon enough she was. However, what was NOT okay was that she ended up in a relationship too! I mean, of course she's an adult and i want the best for her and i truly am happy but wow, now i have the least amount of relatability, even to my best friend, all because Travis finally wooed her. I hadn't expected to be the only one on mystreet that was single.

Well, only single female, that is. There was Dante, who still had yet to manage his own love life but he recently went on a journey of self discovery and trying to be happy with who he is and not feel as though he had to change himself in order to be loved romantically. Kim and Lucinda were also single, although they never showed much interest in getting into a relationship, well not Lucinda at least. Kim seemed like she might just be too awkward to even try. But they didn't matter, i wasn't all that close with them, even though Lucinda and Kim felt closer than Dante due to the events of what had happened at the lodge... yeah, those experiences definitely brought us closer.

There was also Garroth...

Garroth Ro'meave, what a character. He's somebody that is incredibly attractive, objectively of course - i personally don't have feelings for him. He has this gorgeous head of sandy blonde hair, long enough to tie up into a tiny ponytail but still short enough to have tendrils of a mellow gold sticking out at the front. His skin was a pretty tan colour, he went outside alot and although he put on sunscreen, he never really bothered to apply more throughout the day so especially after coming back from holiday, his skin was lovely, sunkissed even. And although i could go on and on about his muscles and peculiar yet endearing fashion sense - I've yet to mention his best feature.

His eyes.

They were Sapphires, beautiful gemstones that shone with such luminosity that only the most expensive crystals could achieve. Although, the colour of his eyes moreso resembled Aquamarines, or perhaps even Blue Agates. His eyes were even more radiant when he smiled or laughed, and oh my god was his smile charming to say the least.

Everything about him was just - wow..

But again, don't get an ill idea, I simply see him as a friend. Maybe even a close friend. After the lodge, we had all gotten closer, especially as the feeling of loneliness often felt deadly at times.. Garroth and I had gotten much closer after the lodge, especially at Starlight as many tensions had eased between everyone and people had finally relaxed. Even now, we hang out much more often as we are some of the only single ones out of our close friends so we just gravitate towards eachother.

Unfortunately, I had grown a bit more distant from Katelyn, my ultimate best friend. After coming back from the lodge, we all spoke of course but there was so much.. uncertainty and lack of trust. It was as if we needed to reevaluate our friendships and see if they were genuine and not just Ein somehow hurting us again. We were broken. And of course the others that were not at the lodge didn't understand the change. Katelyn was never truly in touch with her emotions nor how to handle them, let alone other people's emotions. Of course she had realised there was a slight shift in my behaviour, especially as it wasn't just me. Everybody had noticed Aphmau's depression, and Katelyn was growing more confused. She wasn't able to speak to me as seriously as she wanted to or as deeply as she wanted to, so i managed to undermine how i was feeling each time she had asked. But, we both knew that a lack of much needed communication can cause cracks or gaps in friendships. Although it was obvious she felt guilty for not "getting through to me", I knew i was at fault.

Katelyn hasn't tried asking about the lodge or anything else about the time period of which we all came back from there since. She must realise how much of a sensitive topic it is. And, although I sometimes feel lonely knowing she's out having fun not missing me and instead replacing our hangouts with dates with Travis, I'm happy she's happy and I'm happy i have Garroth now too.

Truth be told, Garroth went through unforgettable things, specifically being turned into a werewolf via excruciating pain and suffering. He doesn't like talking about it, and while his ears and tail are always out, he doesn't like people mentioning them or bringing them to everybody's attention. He wasn't ready for the kinds of conversations he knew he was bound to have with everybody if he allowed them to talk about them or even just acknowledge them.

He just wanted to be Garroth, it seemed. And he was never not Garroth to me. I wish he realised that I of all people would understand.

I, too, am a werewolf - well, a wolf at least, but I've always hidden it. Nobody knows, I always intended to tell everybody but i was so so scared.. I was bullied relentlessly in my younger years for being a wolf.

I never had it easy, I was adopted by humans that didn't know i was a pup right away, so when my ears and tails had been shown after they had already signed the adoption papers, they kept me. They didn't know how to raise a pup so they brought me up like they would a human and unfortunately sent me to a human school.

I went to human schools up until high school, so until i was 14. Needless to say, it was the worst. I got beaten physically and verbally, jumped, stolen from and some people even tried to light my fur on fire, so i forever have had a burn scar on my left ear. Although i seemed brave and string after those experiences, i never got over them. Sure, i moved forward, but i dont think i ever truly moved on. Yes, Garroth and I have different experiences but I so desperately sympathise with him as i understand the pain these transitions can cause, and even just what being a wolf can cause. I want him to let me in, but there's no way in hell I'll force him into that. So for now, my friendship with him is enough.

I care for him deeply, and although i said i didn't have any interest in him, it was a pretty obvious lie.. I don't know if i would say i love him yet as its incredibly early to say such rash things but I definitely like him more than anybody should be able to like someone. But after what he's been through, I doubt romance is even on his mind, let alone me.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

I turned on my side, staring aimlessly out of my window that resided next to my bed. The sky was an endless sea of midnight blue which was littered with glimmering stars.

I sighed.

I checked my phone around 10 minutes ago, so it was currently around 04:48 am if i had remembered correctly. It was getting harder and harder to sleep, and it didnt help that i kept thinking of Garroth.

Helping Garroth. Hanging out with Garroth. Liking Garroth. The beauty of Garroth. Just Garroth.

It was like a fever dream, only thinking of one person in millions of separate scenarios, i sound like an obsessed fan. I cringed, knowing i had to get up at about 11am tomorrow at the latest as I had to be at Aphmau's house by 12. She was having a hangout with everybody on mystreet as she felt like everybody had been so tense after recent events, she was always so sweet and looked out for everyone.

Well, I guess I need to at least try to sleep.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Yawning, my clenched my fists and rubbed my eyes with them, i looked beside me at my bedside table where my digital alarm clock was.

10:13.

I was kinda proud of myself for getting up at a somewhat reasonable time and getting at least 5 hours of sleep. I had some pretty bad eyebags from having sleepless nights often, but i always hid it with makeup.

I got ready within around an hour and a half leaving around 20 minutes to walk to Aphmau and Aaron's place. I was actually really pleased, i felt nice today. I sprayed myself with my favourite perfume and left my place, grabbing my phone and keys before i left. I saw Zane ans Nana holding hands as they walked into Aphmau's house a few houses down, they were super adorable to be honest.

I walked to her house and hugged Aph as she greeted me. I sat down and glanced around the room, immediately realising i had been the last to arrive. I sat down next to Garroth which was one of the only seats not occupied by a couple. Everybody was chatting loudly in a fun light hearted manner, clearly happy to feel free of any tension towards one another. I turned to Garroth, wondering why he had kept so quiet.

Immediately, I had a good idea of why.

His normally honey toned skin looked pastey and blotchy, his eyes were red and tearful and his hair was unkempt. Had nobody else noticed the support he clearly needed??

"Garroth.."

He turned to me and attempted to give me a sweet smile and whilst he looked pretty like usual, it was disingenuine and full of melancholy.

"Yes, Y/N?"

I just looked at him, and my sympathy must have been misunderstood as pity as he suddenly stood up and spoke, "Don't do that."

"Do what?" I got up too, wanting to be on the same level as him.

"Give me that look o-of pity! Don't pity me, Y/N. I'm strong."

"I know that Garroth I just—"

"Just stop!" He exclaimed and although it wasn't loud enough for many other to hear, thank god, it had left me feeling scared for him. I just wanted him to be okay, dammit.

He left Aphmau's house, i quickly ran to the kitchen to say goodbye to Aphmau. I felt no need to expose Garroth to her so i came up with the classic "family emergency" excuse. Somehow, it worked and she allowed me to leave in my hurried state. Assuming Garroth went to his house, I ran over there as quickly as I could, which wasnt too hard considering I was a wolf, and knocked on the door. Unfortunately, it had been left open anyways so I peered in, seeing Garroth curled up on the couch, his ears drooping.

I walked in quietly and closed the door, although his long distance hearning abilities due to his new werewolf attachments heard me.

"Y/N please, i don't want your pity." I sat down on the floor just below him so i could see him face, although his eyes were looking at anything but myself, "Good thing I'm not here to give you pity, then."

His gaze softened and he spoke in a murmer, "Sorry for raising my voice." Tears were threatening to fall down his face, something he unfortunately looked like he was used to. I held his hands in mine, "Don't apologise. You're allowed to be upset, hell it would be abit odd if you weren't. No matter what ears you have, human or otherwise, or if you have a tail or not, you're always going to be my Garroth. This hasn't changed a thing."

His face tensed as tears cascaded down his cheecks, "You're too sweet to me... but no matter what you say, i know you don't understand. Not as well as you think you do. I'm never going to be the same Garroth i was because nobody will see me the same way. But i cannot handle the looks of pity i get..."

I kissed the backs of his hands, rubbing my thumbs soothingly against them, trying to add some sort of comfort that wasn't too invasive or overwhelming. The last thing i wanted was to drive him away. "Garroth, i understand more than you think i do."

He was still refusing to look at me, closing his eyes as he tried to prevent more tears from spilling. I allowed my ears and tail so show, I don't do it often so it felt foreign and hinestly, it was uncomfortable and way too vulnerable for my liking. But i knew it might help Garroth, and i was willing to take the chance.

"Look at me Garroth."

He didn't reply and instead jjst kept his eyes closed, "I said look at me." I tried to command, although it came out quietly and softly as I didn't want to add fuel to Garroth's fire.

He opened his eyes and — "what is this?"

"I.. am a werewolf. Well, a wolf. I was born one."

He was in a state of shock, "I didn't know.." I laughed uncomfortablely, "Yeah.. nobody does. I was ashamed, i got bullied by humans as a kid so much that my fear was domineering and I never really showed them. Having human parents adopt me didn't help either and they didn't understand me."

Garroth looked at me with a look that finally meant he understood, "You understand me because...you went through the lonliness and shame too." I nodded, "Garroth, I care so much about yoy to the point I can't sleep sometimes because of worry or out of happiness knowing I'll see you the next day or even just staying up thinking about how cute your stupid goofy smile is but—"

He gasped and I had thought i said too much and overstepped a boundary, "You think my smile is stupid and goofy?" He inquired dramatically and for the first time in a while, I laughed wholeheartedly, "Shut up, you know thats not what i meant!" "Well thats what you said!"

I smiled at his as our bickering dulled, "But seriously. I like you Garroth, more than a friend should, and you had me worrying so much but in reality, you're always going to be my Garroth to me, ears and a tail aren't gonna change that. Although they are devilishly cute."

He blushed and I removed my hands from his and wiped the tears off of his face. I kissed his cheek as he stuttered in response and merely kissed mine back. We didn't speak after, because words were not needed, the only thing were needed in that moment was eachother.

#garroth romeave #aphmau #mystreet #minecraft #x reader

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