#this is not rebloggable because i simply need to YELL

[bananasofthorns]

scholarship applications go to hell and DIE challenge

[siconetribal]

Put it on My Tab (18)

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Warning:

Things as they should have been

A/N:

Thanks for patiently waiting! I had a safe and easy flight, but the jet lag was a real troublemaker. But now I'm back, less brain foggy and ready to type. Without further ado, here is the next part!

Please comment/like/reblog. If you’d like to be tagged moving forward, please let me know! I'd also greatly appreciate it if rebloggers remember to add the tags (or some at least).

As always, a huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, please check out the master post for the rest of the chapters.

Another day, another round of unreasonable customers not paying attention to the orders that are being called, and another coffee order from the caffeine fiend who has been showing up almost daily. The handsome young man caused quite the stir with the female employees, each rushing to be the one to take his order, only to be rejected. There was only one person he ordered from, and the one barista was Y/N. She did not know why or when this little routine started, but it was well known throughout the shifts. One customer came in on days only Y/N was in and only ever ordered from her. The idea would have been flattering if his level of consumption was not so concerning, and him obviously being younger than her and well off.

And he’s another Wayne. I think I’ve officially had it with Waynes. She let out a heavy sigh as she rang up her current customer. How long had it been since she last saw Jason? She wondered for the seventh time, looking at the digital date on the register. That awkwardly magical night to end it all was now two weeks behind her and not a single word from him. To be fair, I haven’t exactly reached out either, but what am I supposed to even say? I didn’t exactly ask him for pocket change, and he paid for dinner and made sure I was inside the building safe. Could he have just not been so great so that I could continue to hate him for some reason and move on with my life? It’s all his fault, clearly! She grabbed a cup, stuck on the label, and placed it in the queue before moving onto the next customer. 

Citlalli heard her sigh again and visibly frowned. The night Y/N came back with the money was a shock. The two of them stared at her phone and refreshed the app screen several times, expecting it to all vanish like it was some sort of glitch and error. Come the next day, it was still very much there, which meant they were now debt free. They refused to celebrate just yet. Y/N transferred the money to her bank, it cleared in a few days. Y/N called the hotel and paid the rest of the charges over the phone. The hotel register must have been ancient because it felt like forever until the little ding sounded to let everyone know the transaction was completed. A copy of the receipt was emailed and with that, it was done. Seeing the bill as paid in full was such a sight to behold that Citlalli even began to tear up. They were back to where they were before the coffee fiasco, which was far better than being behind. 

Everything was back to as it should be, or it should have been. Y/N was different. She was more relaxed now that she could drop a good number of shifts and others could cover, but there was a listlessness to her. Her motions were robotic, and she barely reacted to crazy customers who were prone to yelling or causing a scene. If anything, her lack of reaction made the tantrum thrower feel awkward, and they quietly just moved along. Maybe it was an adrenaline crash? A constant flight or fight mode was finally shut off and her body was simply trying to recover. The last time she had seen her like this was the time her cousin got them tangled with the Penguin. Citlalli was no better, the two did what needed to be done to keep the bills paid and their heads on their shoulders. 

“Oi, chica, I’ve been calling your name for the last ten minutes!” She snapped her fingers in front of Y/N’s face. “Are you going to give me an answer or what?!”

“Huh, sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” She jerked her head back as the sharp sound brought her senses back into focus. The long day of work had come to an end and neither of the two were on the night shift, so they returned home and began to relax and unwind. “Answer what?”

“Where did you get these and when were you going to tell me?!” She firmly tapped her finger on two identical rectangular pieces of paper that magically appeared on the coffee table. They were not just simple waxy slips, either. They were a nice weight that had a lovely deign with a date and time stamped on each with the name of an upcoming charity gala printed in cursive and the famous W logo of Wayne Enterprises Inc. 

“Ah, those, well, those came from Nightwing when he left me a tip. I don’t think he meant to give them? At least, that’s the only thing that makes sense. I’m sure Bruce Wayne meant for him to have them to attend. I just don’t know how to go about returning them. How does one call a nighttime vigilante without lighting up the sky with the Bat Signal?” She pointed out the issue she was in.

“Three weeks,” Citlalli scowled. “Nearly a month of holding onto these, and you never once thought to tell me?! They were just laying there on the kitchen floor near the trash! Were you going to throw them out?!” She shoved her face in front of Y/N’s, their noses mere inches from touching. 

“I wasn’t planning to throw them out, but like I said, there’s no way to return them!” Y/N moved her head back.

“¡Ay, ay, ay!” She stood back and hit the heel of her free palm into her forehead a few times. “We could use them! We could go! This could be how we celebrate finally being debt free!” Citlalli grabbed the two tickets and waved them at Y/N. “This is fate, it was meant to be! ¡Por Dios!” She once again dove into a flurry of Spanish as she paced up and down the small living room. From the way she waved her arms around, twirled, Y/N could only gather that the frenzied energy was excitement.

“Cici,” she firmly called out to her overly energized friend for the umpteenth time. “Don't you think these tickets are tracked? That Bruce Wayne would know which ticket is whose? So, when someone tries to use someone else's, they can cross-reference. And even if by some unknown luck, they let it slide, for whatever reason; and we take the leap and attend, we don't have anything to wear aside from old catering uniforms and whatever dresses we have for parties and dates. I’m not trying to be the buzzkill, but we’re not equipped for this.”

Citlalli looked between Y/N and the tickets several times before coming around the table and flopping down onto the couch with a heavy sigh of defeat. Y/N could only sadly smile at the scene. It hurt to burst the bubble, but it needed to be done. A somber silence filled the apartment, broken only by the noise from their neighbors or some troublemakers outside. They could officially forget about this and move on.

“My abuela can help us. She’s a great seamstress, and my tía Maribel and tía Estrella have their own boutique. It’s nowhere near Wayne level price tags, but they make good money and live in a safer city. They made my and all my cousins quinceañera dresses, too. I’m sure they can come up with something for this, or at least let us borrow two dresses for the evening.” Citlalli sat up and looked straight at Y/N.

“You’re really not going to let this go, huh?” Y/N could only sigh and shake her head. “The party is in two weeks. When will we have the time to go and try on dresses between work and my pending call to come into the precinct for a formal interview?”

“Mr. B owes us for covering all those shifts he had no one to cover for. He’ll be grateful we took off unpaid so he doesn't have to pay us as much overtime.” She rolled her eyes. “My family will even open the shop after hours just for us to look, we don't need to go during the work hours. We can buy roundtrip train tickets and spend the night there. We might not even have to call off work either, we can swap shifts with someone! This is perfect! Ok, that's what we’ll do! I'm going to go call my family and see what days are best!” Once again, Citlalli was off running and Y/N was left speechless and trying to figure out how they went from reason to a whole thought out plan.

You know what, why not? It doesn’t hurt to try. If she really wanted to go, I was going to suggest checking some consignment shops or thrift stores in the richer parts of the city. We can use that plan as backup, though. She gets to see her grandmother this way and I can say hi to her family as well. She smiled while watching Citlalli’s face light up while talking in Spanish to her family on the phone. Y/N was willing to deal with the Waynes if it meant her best friend would be happy. It’s the least I can do for all her family has done for me over the years, trouble aside.

It was done. There was nothing left to do and there was no reason to ever see her again unless he wanted to go get coffee. He was not against coffee, but he was not an addict like someone he knew. He glanced at the door as Tim walked in with a rather large cup. Jason frowned to himself, looking back down at his book, but his gaze quickly snapped back up to the third Robin. He knew that logo, it was the logo of the cafe Y/N worked at.

Why would he go all the way over there for a cup of coffee? Did he realize I kept going there for them? No, I only did that twice. He can’t have caught on to anything from just that no matter how smart he is. Maybe he liked it? It’s a popular place and he may have been scouting the area. He stared at the cup, almost glaring at it. Must be mice to not have a reason to go there and see her without a care in teh world.

“What?” Tim’s voice cut off his jealous thoughts. The second Wayne son raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re the one giving a death glare to my coffee, I think I have a right to know why.”

“I’m trying to figure out what number this one is for the day. Your coffee addiction is just starting to get concerning.” He retorted.

“I’m not a coffee ‘addict’,” Tim took a rather loud sip of his drink to punctuate his point. “I’m a caffeine-based life form and as such, I must honor the ways of my people.”“By drinking your three times your weight in coffee?” Jason snorted as he tried to stop from laughing. Caffeine-based life form? She’d get a kick out of that one. I wonder, has he met her? A sharp, stabbing pain suddenly pierced his chest.“Who am I to get between you and your crazy cult? Chug away,”  he slightly bowed his head in respect. Tim nodded in return and left the room. Jason gently rubbed the spot above his heart, frowning once more. Must be nice indeed.

Tag: @vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali @antiquecultist

[suspiciouscatastrophe]

Slur of affirmation...?

Hello there! I know I’m a self-proclaimed reblogger and my personal ramblings aren’t probably what you follow me for, so I apologize in advance. I just feel I need a blank space to shout my feelings in, so here we go.

TW: the r-slur, casual ableism, a whole lot of imposter syndrome

I am an autistic girl. At least, I like to think I am.

The label is extremely important to me. I was diagnosed late, aged 16, so I spent most of my teenage years and my whole childhood in the dark about what even am I.

I’ve always had issues. Picking up basic skills and being self-sufficient, making friends, expressing myself, controlling my emotions, adapting to social norms, you name it. I’ve experienced both meltdowns and shutdowns and sensory difficulties. I was switching constantly between doubting my capability to feel feelings and dealing with sudden outbursts of rage, gloom and hate towards myself that usually ended up with me yelling at someone or breaking stuff.

I had my special interests that I used to talk about almost constantly (...some things never change) and an atypical speech pattern that has also stayed with me to this day. Coupled with my rather poor social skills and... uh... “fiery” reactions, I was bullied relentlessly all through the kindergarten (2 years) and elementary school (which in our country lasts 9 years). In high school, I was on peaceful terms with everybody but still generally disliked.

Anyway, why am I typing all of this? It sounds like a sob story absolutely irrelevant to the topic.

I just wanted to provide context for my mindset.

When growing up, I didn’t know I was autistic. I didn’t know that there are people just like me, or at least very similar to me, or that some things that I’m being chastised for aren’t actually bad (e.g. stimming), and those that are could get better if only I knew how to protect myself (e.g. meltdowns).

I simply thought I was evil.

And today, a friend of mine called me a r*tard. We have this sort of a slightly questionable relationship where he acts in a very abrasive and demeaning manner to me in public as a running joke but is sweet to me in private. I know, that sounds messed up but since I know he doesn’t mean it and he’s saying it only to be an edgelord, I don’t register it as harmful. But I digress!

Today he said I was “his favorite r*tard” in a public chat after I said hello.

I don’t reclaim the slur in any way, shape or form. I actually find it very uncomfortable and in my friend circle it’s known that I don’t enjoy being called that. The friend in question doesn’t reclaim it either, he’s neurotypical (as far as I know).

But!

It made me feel... good this time?

(that sounds awful, I’m sorry)

I spend a lot of time just casually doubting my diagnosis.

My diagnosis helped me a lot to understand myself, to find resources and people to relate to, to find the vocabulary for my experiences. It helped me hate myself a bit less.

But something in my brain yells that I don’t deserve any of that. I must be a faker, right? Because I always am. I’m a vile pretentious person that only emulates emotions of others and everything about her is fake, made up to garner social points and to sift away resources.

I’m not self-dxed. My stance on self-diagnosis is that it’s valid anyway (at least in case of autism and similar). Professional diagnosis is a privilege that not everyone has.

But even having that coveted paper from my psychiatrist doesn’t help persuade my brain in the slightest.

Because she didn’t diagnose me properly, right?

Basically my therapist did an evaluation and then forwarded me to her saying she suspects I probably am autistic. And the doctor was like, “Whatever,” and she gave my mother a piece of paper.

So when I get called the r-slur that is used to dehumanize and attack neurodiverse people, I feel... affirmed.

They recognize me as an autistic enough to demean me for it!

Today was the first time I felt that. Usually I feel only discomfort around the slur but today... today it was the slur of affirmation and I feel guilty for even saying that.

[joneshartright-blog]

Starring Role - Part 2 (Ben Hardy x reader)

Guys this is was the faster I ever wrote, crazy!Thank you for all the likes,rebloggs and requests for part 2, also for being so receptive with me since english is not my first language and I am new at writing on tumblr!Thank y'all so much!Let me know if you want to be tagged in my new ones!xoxo.

Summary: After rejecting the reader, Ben sees he was wrong about everything.

Warnings: angst, swearing, fluff

All he ever wanted was for you to be happy and he didn't mean to hurt you, not at all.He thought that maybe it was for the best, end up your friendship, saying that was a mistake, treat you like a stranger.

But seeing you hanging out with another guy, especially one of his friends, hurted.It felt like a nightmare, the one when you find a man better than him and eventually marry him, and that's why he would find himself everyday drinking at the bar alone.Not even look out for a chick, that maybe could replace you.

“Another one, please" he said a little tipsy after the twelve shot of the night, thinking that he wouldn't before the twenty.

In his phone was at least 10 messages and phone calls from Joe, his bestfriend, which he denied all, putting back into his pocket.

Damn he was tired.

——

“Thanks for being such a good friend, but I don't think so" you rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Oh come on, Gwil, she was totally looking at you!"

“She never came to talk to me in the college"

You smiled shaking your head.

“Maybe because you're a intelligent senior who is working in an important article, about what again?"

“The Immediate Challenge of Non-Aggravating Interlocutory Decisions of Instrument" he said in a serious tone and you laughed.

“God, I don't understand why people choose advocacy, it's so complicated"

“And I don't understand why you didn't talk with Ben, yet"

He said looking at you, grabbing a drink.

“You promised me that we wouldn't talk about him Gwilym"

“Yeah I did, but also saw how Ben is" you rolled your eyes. “He's not okay and I'm sure he thinks I have something with you"

“Bullshit"

“Yes 'bullshit', but I'm his friend as well and I don't wanna be the reason, you two are separated"

“He doesn't even like me"

“If that was true, he wouldn't be like this"

“Gwil, can we please-

You were cutted off by your phone, and an incoming call from Joe.

“Hello Joe!" you said a little excited.

“Y/n, sorry for calling at this time, but it's Ben" his voice was filled with worry, and your smile instantly dropped from your face.

“What happened?” Gwilym looked at you confused.

“I would meet him tonight, but he simply disappeared"

You heart began to beat fast at his last words and you placed your hand in your forehead looking at the friend in front of you.

“Are you sure, he didn't go out with Rami and Lucy"

“I already talked with them...y/n I've called him ten times and he didn't answer"

“Okay, I'll try to find him, and than I talk to you"

“Okay" you hang up your cell phone, holding it against your chest, as your hand shaked a little.

“Everything's okay, y/n?” Gwilym asked now worried.

“Ben disappeared"

——

Praying was everything you wanted to do by now, and you couldn't imagine that searching for Ben would be so difficult.

“I really hope you're here Ben"

Parking in front of the University, you felt your heart tight, the feeling that might not found Ben anywhere made you sick.Leaving the car, you felt the cold wind touch the skin of your face as walking into the unsed shed of the college.He used to go there when something bad happened.

You hear some yelling from the inside and the voice was of someone you knew well, Ben.

"Please you shouldn't be here" a old man who was cleaning the place said

“Piss off!!" a grave voice filled the ambient with anger.

“I'll talk to him" you tell to the man who nodded hesitantly, leaving you two alone.

“I said piss off!!" Ben yelled again, a bottle of vodka in his hand.

“No." he was suprised by your voice and quickly turned face you.

“y/n?" his green eyes catch your and you could tell he has been crying.

“Give me this, Ben" you tried to took the bottle off his hands, but he was stronger than you.

“No, leave me the fucking alone!”

“Ben" you grabbed his arm again, this time making the bottle fall to the ground, breaking into pieces.

“Look what you did!!" he yelled frustrated, almost crying and you take the oportunitty to put your hands in his face.

“We've been worried, Ben" he looked at you, lost.“Where have you been?"

“You were worried about me?" you smiled a little.

“Of course I did"

“After all the bloody shit I did, you are still here, why?

You looked into the ground, the sadness washing over you.

“Because before everything you are my friend Ben.” you smiled.“You were the first person that I ever talk to in campus"

“You should go home y/n"

“Not without you"

——

Since the day you found him, drunk and took him home, Ben couldn't help but only apologize to you and ask if you two could try again as friends.He suddenly stopped drinking and going to parties like he used to do, more focus on college and on you.

He was horrible at expressing his feelings, he knew but he was trying so hard, giving you some gifts, roses and hanging out almost every week with you, when you're done with your math tests.You made him happy, and he couldn't understand why he denied those feelings before.He was a stupid arsehole, he think to himself.

“Hello?"you said into the phone, and he couldn't help but smile, when he heard your voice.

“Hey, y/n, would you mind going out with me today?"

“I don't know Ben, I have a test Monday”

“Please, I need to show you something?"

“Show me what?" he smirked, you were so damn curious all the time.

“I promise that if you come with me, I'll help with your test, and besides you're gonna like this"

“Okay...Can you tell me what it is?”

“It's a surprise”

“You know I hate them"

“Well I'm sure you're gonna love this one"

“Fine"

“Pick you up at 8, bye"

He hanged up falling in his bed smiling.

——

“God Ben, I'm gonna fall this way." you grabbing his hands that were in your eyes, making you blind.

“Shh, I promise that it would be worth"

You smiled when you felt him kiss the back of your head.

“Ready?"you nodded and he took his hands away, revealing an incredible ambient.

A lot of candles and some roses, were spread in the ground, making a way to the table who were decorated as well, with them.Two glasses of wine and spaghettis, Ben knew you liked italian food.

“So?" he said nervousily, looking at you.

“Ben, this is, is amazing" you smiled at him and he took your hand.“But why"

“Listen" he held your two hands, caressing them. “I,I never knew why you always would help me, taking care of me when I was drunk, giving me advice even tho I was older than you, but you did" you breath heavily "When all I ever did was be an arsehole to you, rejecting you, hurting you.The truth was that, after I kissed you in that night, I felt scared, it was a new feeling for me and I didn't want to lose you... but I guess it happened the same"

His eyes were in yours, and you felt lost in them.

“When I saw you with Gwilym, I went crazy...The tought of you finding the perfect guy, that wasn't me, made me sick..." you gasped for air, as you heard his words a little shocked.

“We're just friends, Ben"

“I know, I know and it was stupid to think like that but I did."

His hands came to your cheeks.

“When I heard that you worried about me, I, all I could think is how I let myself lose you"

"Ben"

“Let me finish, please.After that I decided that I should earn you, that I would fight for you, not matter how difficult it was"

Your hand touched his blond locks and he smiled,calming himself.

“I never was good at showing my feelings, but I guess that at least I tried my best" he looked around and you did the same.

"Yeah" you felt some tear stream down your face and Ben cleaned up them quickly.

“I love you, y/n" he said kissing you passionately, bringing you closer to him.

"I love you too" you say after breaking the kiss, hugging him tight.

@int0-you @imamazzellhoe @ziamhathrisen @eyeballchambersgirl @florenceivy @immajustreadwritereblog @jdroman5432 @paradigmax @allornone @justapersoninthisworld1995 @enjoymyloves @bianchi-adam @taintedrosebud @hardcoredisneynerd @strangemaximoff @alosthufflepuff @wint-er-voices @parkersroses

[posi-pan]

i'm pan and i just struggle so much with how little attention we get. and i mean this in the least terrible way possible, i'm not trying to invalidate others, i just get so angry when there are posts talking about how much biphobia there is, and although i know it's not right to invalidate what they're saying and try to make my point, there's literally no pan representation at all, and although there is only a little bi representation, there still is some. how do u suggest i deal with this? thx

by telling you that “there’s literally no pan representation at all” is not true.

(and a little offensive to say to someone who made it their mission to find and keep track of any and all pan rep in existence i mean….i made lists)

let’s break it down.

there are 54 famous/known people who have openly identified as pan. 16 of those people also identify with other sexual/romantic orientation labels (queer, fluid, bi, omni, ace, grey-a, demi, etc.).

a list of famous pan (and queer/unlabeled) people + a rebloggable version

there are 190+ canon pan book characters. the majority are pansexual, around 23 are panromantic. there are 25+ implied/hinted pan book characters. nearly all are pansexual, only 1 is panromantic.

a list of books with pan rep

there are 40 canon and 34 implied/hintedpan television characters. all are pansexual.

a list of pan rep in television

there are 7 canon and 4 implied/hinted pan comic characters. all are pansexual.

there are 9 canon and 4 implied/hinted game pan characters. all are pansexual.

there are 3 canon and 2 implied/hinted pan movie characters. all are pansexual.

there is 1 musical pansexual character.

there are 10 canon pan webcomic characters. 7 are pansexual and 3 are panromantic.

there are 27 canon pan webseries characters. nearly all are pansexual, only 1 is panromantic.

a masterlist of pan rep in all forms of media (books, comics, games, movies, television, webcomics, and webseries)

so, as we can see, there IS pan rep. both in fictional characters and in famous/known people. and I’m sure there are some I’ve missed. I know it’s not a lot, especially not compared to straight characters/people, but it’s something. and it’s important.

I know it’s easy to get frustrated and say there’s no pan rep, but that only further erases the pan rep that does exists. we should be celebrating the pan rep we have and fighting for more, not erasing it to make it seem like we have it worse than other identities.

I know it’s easy to frustrated at people who have more visibility/rep than you, but them having a little bit more visibility/rep than you doesn’t change the fact that they still don’t have a lot of visibility/rep in the grand scheme of things, and that hate/erasure against them is still a huge problem.

to deal with this frustration, I suggest repurposing/redirecting that energy.

when you find yourself getting frustrated at other queer people for talking about erasure simply because they have more visibility/rep than you, stop and remind yourself that rep for you exists and you should be focusing on celebrating that rep.

instead of being mad at other queer people who are just as deserving of visibility/rep as you and entitled to talking about erasure as you, be mad at queer organizations who aren’t inclusive of pan, people who spread harmful narrative about pan, writers who don’t use the word pan on screen, writers/actors who treat pan as a shiny, new buzzword rather than a legitimate identity deserving of rep and respect.

use that anger to fight for pan rep. be loud and angry as hell about how little rep we have and barely visible we are. scream about how we need and deserve more rep. yell about how people need to start appreciating the pan rep we do have. even hype the hell out of your pan headcanons. make all the noise and don’t let other people allow pan to fall into the shadows.

just make sure you’re angry at and taking that anger out on the right people. other queer people who are in the same exact boat as us do not deserve your anger and frustration. at least, not about this.

I hope this helps and makes you feel a little better.

[incarnateirony]

The Problem with DreamHunter...

Is that there is no problem with DreamHunter.

You're probably like "wait, what?" So let me clarify: This is absolutely not a Dreamhunter!Critical post. In fact, I have a lot of accolades for DreamHunter. I'll address a few complaints I've read from a surly, never-happy swath of stan twitter, but this post isn't actually about that - it's about a pervasive cultural issue involving coded phobia and how Bobo Fucking Berens showed his level of quantum literary and social brainfunction to do everything from canonize an LGBT ship to run a far deeper and more exposing social experiment on the fandom at large.

We've all seen the gif sets. I can't find the video in my vat of poorly maintained blog, but I'm sure someone else could, wherein Bobo on Twitch was talking about being ecstatic over us seeing what he wanted us to see. To the fandom that keeps their ears open, none of DreamHunter's premise is new to us. The only new thing was a certain confirmation, "First love strikes quick."

First, to the part that is NOT the point of the post, but I feel needs addressed before people start yelling at me:

Now, this has opened up a floodgate of hard-end-stan-twitter complaining like "Oh so they didn't just kill a WOC but a queer WOC and then after-texted it?" Well, no, fam. They were setting up a queer romance of the century with her dream half and potential return to the self while facing the darkest parts of challenging the self and deleting our weaknesses, and maybe even going so far as to make a statement of self imposed biases. Wayward just wasn't picked up so they've had to funnel and condense the concept in other ways. Dark Kaia wanting to target Claire after seeing what she meant to Kaia isn't an arbitrary and random sentiment. But arguing literary romantic value with stan twitter is like arguing algebra with an ill-behaved goose, so that's as far as I'm going to take that explanation beyond "y'all are often our biggest enemies on content."

Now then... to the actual point of the post:

I've mentioned it before, but it really deserves its own rebloggable master post not attached to some overlong thread, and able to be brought into fuller scope. The problem with DreamHunter is almost nonexistent. In fact, the simple fact is: with a line that simple, it was universally accepted as a truth, whether people are screaming about tropes they want to read in the worst light before the romantic element ever got a chance to get its feet under it. Nobody's out there saying it doesn't exist. Nobody's out there downtalking that line.

THAT is the problem with DreamHunter - that there is no problem with DreamHunter. And by that, I don't mean to say we should have a problem with DreamHunter. It's that DreamHunter reveals a hugely systemic coded bias in our culture.

And honestly, I think Berens did that on purpose.

There’s a certain level of coy battle in acceptance going on. First of all, people naturally seem to accept F/F before M/M due to a bunch of cultural reasons. Mostly because F/F has been convenient to publicly fetishize while M/M freaks out dudebros that are really uncertain about themselves, so for a longer time, GA has been exposed to and accepting F/F. And I think of anyone out there, My Big Gay Author King Berens is going to understand that.

WLW still has its own stigmas, I'm not saying it doesn't, but acting like resistance to it is on any cultural coding level parallel to the stigma against MLM is a weird display of intersectional privilege and lack of awareness.

Acting like it’s coincidence that they monkey-stomp packed as many identical lines and scene arrangements into all of one episode as possible, then dropped a bomb like that episode two, is silly. We know exactly what he’s after – hell, he said he was ecstatic we saw what he wanted us to see. So the real question is, why is it that “first love strikes quick” is taken without argument from the GA but a thousand up-nods for the M/M pairing with the same content – and TBH, far far far more that could never be packed into a single episode – has people take lines like “attached at the everything” and immediately have a portion of the audience start laughing, despite the surrounding substance around it?

Destiel fandom read into yet-again heaven and hell believing DeanCas are an item; antis decided it was an insult to “annoy” them. Even the angel in the past threatening to gouge Cas’ genitals over it. Because that’s what I do when I don’t believe it but am a religious zealot. Threaten to cut dicks off to annoy people. But somehow, it’s far easier to negotiate, to these people, that the male queer coded content is a punchline, rather than either a genuine or perceived truth. Antis choose to interpret MLM as a punchline. It’s that simple. No amount of surrounding content or story thematics can convince them otherwise. 

The same substance they monkey stomped, condensed, and largely stripped down for time limitations, into DreamHunter?

I’ll give a hint: it’s the same cultural stigma that – which late night show was it, where they started playing well-edited slash videos and the audience started laughing despite it being well timed and edited? It’s that. It’s the same thing that made Ateo unable to play queer roles in the industry as being “not believably gay” despite being a gay man himself, until the Hunter Husbands. It’s a horrific stigma that the audience has been coded to bite and gnash back against M/M content unfairly to the queer male audience and it’s gross, but it’s just there, sort of in the collective mind.

I absolutely don’t think Berens, of all fucking people, is unaware of this. And I see what he did as a really, really fucking coy set of actions beneath already masterful writing.

Berens knows exactly what he’s fucking doing and has basically coded a social experiment into the show that betrays people’s biases against M/M queer pairings while allowing the saturation (largely by fetishization) of F/F pairings to do the heavy lifting for him. Nobody out here yelling that Jody could be wrong about it or that “we didn’t see a kiss so it didn’t happen LOL they’re just in a sismance” – it is what it is. And here we are.

So on a social level I am fucking fascinated to see where he takes this next.

Berens has come out swinging for the queer male community whether anybody wants to accept it or not. Which is, modernly, by our demographics, at least an equal if not the greatest portion of our primary male demographic of viewers for the show. And I'm not just talking about the fandom census. I'm talking about Nielsen's demographics shift on gender since season 10, and general Kinsey-scale-esque testing of the true target demo at large in the US. Our ads count 18-49. CW targets 18-34.

Following the work of Berens within Supernatural will give you a very blatant papertrail. It started in deeply layered subtext; his first episode Carver directed Misha to play Cas as a Jilted Lover; after that, he took Robbie's work on Cain and manifest the Colette parallel coded into our story; he chose to take Dabb's Dean-speech from 12.1 and turn it into our coffee-Mixtape-Win spree that other authors shed from their pen in his wake, just like later in season 10 people continued his Colette grind. Berens has been an internal motion for the legitimization of truly structured and admittedly intentful elements of Destiel in the show. And people can scream that they don't like or see it all they want, but it's right there -- and with DreamHunter, it was What He Wanted Us To See.

It's grossly disingenuous activism to try to accuse SPN's first overtly queer author of queerbait while internally shifting the motions of our author room mechanics towards genuinely structured and intentful romance-skewed storytelling, whether it remains subtextual or not. Especially as that author continues to throw wrench upon wrench upon wrench into the no homo gears in ways the GA is perpetually exposed to and spun into having to think about. An eternal negotiation of poignantly delivered lines that catches even the most resistant ears and at least plants a seed in their mind about something else. A true normalization of it as a potential element to the story.

The same sort of normalization hyper-condensed into DreamHunter, but as per the above discussion, far more readily accepted. I have literally heard, from people who argued the "bromance, I'm not entirely convinced" on Destiel, that DreamHunter had been "obvious" to them and the "first love strikes quick" wasn't even necessary, because everybody knew. Cue me sending simple gifsets and script line side by sides and blowing their brains because suddenly their entire world scope just got bent sideways in -- why do I accept the one while I negotiate away the other?

Well, I covered why, above.

The problem with DreamHunter, I repeat, is that there is no problem with DreamHunter. People accept and see that it exists, without argument, even going so far as to label it "obvious" from a single episode, of a highly condensed version of only a fraction of the moments of another queer-coded duo in the show, but simply with culturally differing gender dynamics.

The concern troll of "bromance" or "why not let men be close" dies here. The idea of a bromance is letting two men have a friendship with the form of openness platonic female friends can have. That's fine, that's great. Dean-Benny would be a great example of this, and even then we once again had the offset of Dean-Cas to show different operations. I might even say Dean-Sam as an idea of that, but I don't think "bromance" is necessarily needed since brothers natively have a different sort of dynamic from growing up together. But once you are going out of your way to dismiss elements that we accept in hetero pairings with a laissez-faire “duh”, or even WLW scenarios as “it’s so obvious”, because it's MLM, we have left the area of "bromance" and "why not just let men be close without making it gay" and into “I am negotiating this away due to some sort of coded unwillingness to accept it, perhaps subconsciously, even if I consciously consider myself an ally.”

And that's the true masterpiece of this social experiment Bobo planted in the Supernatural universe with DreamHunter.

The world is grossly unfair and tilted in remaining cultural stigmas about queer males after ages of repressing them to limited niche capacities and stereotypes so strong that masculine gay men couldn’t even get cast in roles as gay men, where the world reads queer men as a punch line rather than a “duh” or “it’s so obvious” or “it’s just right there”, and DreamHunter is a walking fucking social experiment putzing around in Supernatural universe that gives no choice but to pick a side of the fence once you’re aware of these things.

Whether or not it’s physically consummated does not make it not-romantic. Being queer isn’t just about sex. It’s about feelings. And yes, we want our feelings to lead somewhere, and they deserve to lead somewhere, but is Jody acknowledging Claire’s “first love” now what suddenly makes it romantic, or is it the motions, the stories, and the feelings that preceded those lines, even though they never kissed and all hand-holding could be negotiated away the same way we can negotiate away our canon touches for two very emotionally involved men? “She was just leading her through the gate because she was scared,” “she was just consoling her as she died.” See how easy that is? But we won’t do that. And now, frankly anybody that does looks like a jackass.

So why, oh why, is this treated with ambiguity? This is a canon statement of “this relationship is being in love.” It was young love - it struck quick, in only an episode - but it was love. But name an element DreamHunter has to define that love that Destiel doesn’t? If you bend over backwards and try for the handholding, I can raise you hundreds of moments of intimate style contact. Try again.

Canon just confirmed what we already knew -- that Destiel is romantic. That there is love there. And not the kind of love we dismiss as Bros. Bobo just did that. Because every element of their relationship exists in Destiel, and a hundred times more. But it was first love. Dreamhunter was young love that came quickly, and not a single soul argued. Destiel is the same showcase of love, older, more matured, grown over years with dozens more moments of contact and display -- but in the very least, those moments -- those ones lived through DreamHunter in parallel -- that’s love. Canon literally just painted those sparse, compacted down elements, these behaviors we’ve seen, these moments, as coded romantic and in love. If you take nothing else from that -- take that. The elements that build Destiel are canonically romantic, when within DreamHunter and the question is -- without any physical affirmations or DreamHunter on screen, why is it romantic to them and not to Destiel? Why do we even humor this as a discussion, though we expect it, and what does this say of the coded phobias in fandom that we even have to expect it?

Dean and Cas haven’t kissed or dual-confessed to it in public, but you know... neither did DreamHunter. Unless of course we don’t talk down the timely placement of Need Yous and Love Yous and Big Wins and whatever else like people insist on doing with the MLM arrangement. Nobody’s talking down Jody’s third person “first love,” because we know better, and there’s not a mix of MLM and ship warring in play with DreamHunter. Bromance ends at the same line platonic female friendships end. Everyone accepts that DreamHunter is not platonic. Even without ceasing previous negotiations around poignant DeanCas lines, DreamHunter has established the romantic and loving engagements in retrograde. Canon has literally confirmed -- this relationship is romantic and in love.

And until this post, not a single person has tried to argue it down as Just Young Sis Love. Because we all know. Just like, deep down, everybody knows it about the mothership, some just don’t want to accept it. For whatever reason, subconscious or otherwise. I’ll laugh if the same antis that just tried to blind parallel it to W*ncest as a proof of love, while disconnected from the very origins and confirmations of DreamHunter, suddenly start rambling that doesn’t make DreamHunter canon either once this post gets around.

Berens is a fucking master ISTG.

I mean, I guess you’re free to celebrate any network level blockades going on right now while Bobo does Big Queer Fatal Combat from within, but allow me to celebrate DreamHunter whether or not we get consummation for Destiel, an MLM-scenario ship that has to deal with entirely other stigmas on a network primarily run by a bunch of old dudes. This is there. This will never be taken away. And cheering any blockades being run against MLM content with blatant intent does not make you the gr8 person here, m8.

This post is probably gonna have a low level of spread because it’s also something that forces even Destiel fandom to negotiate with themselves too -- how many lines and moments and whatever-else have we negotiated down, talked around, and chosen to interpret in the most left field way as if arguing ourselves from the position of an anti, only to get crack slapped across the jaw in this? How many have yelled queerbait without really observing what Bobo has been doing from within, how many have to face-or-deny the unfair queerbait shouting? How many hold-outs are we putting up, ourselves, because it isn’t the type or level of confirmation we want; we’re sitting here waiting for a bigger more dramatic reveal than a third person statement like that, or what-have-you, but when it’s not “our ship” that we are eternally defending from antis, and not a ship being targeted due to a mix of ship warring and MLM social issues, this is fine? And why is it okay when it’s not The Mothership and we totes accept it for DreamHunter canonization but we’re still talking circles around DeanCas like we’re our own antis? Why do we let anti-dom spin everyone’s head up in such knots that the majority expect Dabberens to live in stan twitter, abandon narrative properties and quality, and have Sam walk in on something while they profess their love and walk away with pictures as hard sealed photographic evidence when that isn’t expected of literally anybody else?

Can anybody tell me why Bobo Bookends Berens, who penned Cain -- Dean’s kindred spirit and fated path parallel -- calling out -- as confirmed -- that Castiel was his Colette, his wife, the love of his life that knew who he was, and what he was, that loved him unconditionally, forgave him, and only asked for him to stop -- a third person perspective -- has a third person, offscreen confirmation of the same sort, with far less plot weaving, taken universally as canon without the play of shifting goalposts via MLM social stigmas and/or ship warring stan twitter getting up in everybody’s heads?

Cuz it’s the same dude, guys. Same pen. A moment nobody even dismissed or TRIED to heckle out. If we just want to go third person while dropping punchline perception, we have everything from The Angel In The Dirty Trenchcoat Who’s In Love With You to Attached At The Everything. Y’all really think Bobo Berens is out here using his own sexuality as a tool and a punchline to be laughed at though? Bobo, “I protest human trafficing and ICE engagements front line in the body walls while people are being arrested” Berens? That guy? 

You’re gonna go out of his way that hard to miss the point just because you have phobic asshats on twitter, and/or asshole haters with “opposite ships” on twitter, or it’s just not the kind YOU wanted to see for Destiel, even if it’s enough for you to take it as canon in DreamHunter, when you already Been Had It for Destiel?

Meh. So many problems with DreamHunter, in there not being any problems with DreamHunter.

All Dabberens. Every Dreamhunter moment was a Dabb or Berens written previous Destiel moment. The meaningful third party line from Jody was Berens. Just like the meaningful third party line in Executioner’s song, also by Berens. Not just a random jab - someone who knew them inside and out. And that - people will take that as canon, again, when there’s no rival ships or MLM phobias in play. Every inch of Dreamhunter (and far, far more) existed in Destiel, by the same authors, porting the same concepts across, piece by piece, and like magic, nobody protested.

And if you’re protesting, or worse if you hilariously ship Dreamhunter but reject Destiel, despite -- I dunno -- Bobo’s own book reviews on issues like queerphobia and intersectional issues -- you may want to introspect on the real reason you’re denying it.

Because that, my friends, is a strictly personal problem.