#my dad wrote

[bananasofthorns]

scholarship applications go to hell and DIE challenge

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[neptunezo]

The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!

Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!

Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???

Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!

—

Steph: Cass and I are adopting…

Bruce: Holy shit, actually???

Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt

Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.

Steph: Too young…?

Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?

Cass: Too young for an iguana?

—

Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.

Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?

Damian: This is my second kid, duh

Bruce: Are you talking about goats?

Damian: Of course I am father

—

Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!

Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant

Tim:

Bruce: Is it a dog?

Tim: No it’s a tiger

—

Jason: I have something to tell you

Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?

Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter

Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her

Jason: What the hell are you talking about?

Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????

Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian

Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!

Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?

[bahoreal]

wangxians reunion is just ridiculous. best reunion ever in the entire world i think. imagine the guy you were absolutely inconceivably in love with dies tragically and youve given up hope of him ever coming back (youve been searching for him in your own way, and his brother has been doing everything except for dying himself to call his spirit back) and then one day one random day you run into some weird guy with a donkey who hides from you and you and think nothing of it but then literally one hour later you hear him playing the song, the song you wrote for him out of painful teenage love, the song you sang to him once while he was half-unconcious in a cave and you thought he didnt remember, the song that you have played but never where anyone (except for lan sizhui) could hear, and you know its him, hes back!

and he doesnt remember the significance of the song.

[that1notetaker]

DADS DADS DADS DADS. (Read below for a short written scene to add context)

Lucifer purses his lips, echoes of his daughter's words jarring daggers from behind his mind's eye. 

“They’re our people too, dad. People with—with hopes and dreams, and—and fears. Like you, and me. I have to do something."

That had been months ago. Same day she left home, along with most things in her room and the knickknacks that had innocently scattered around the house. Once overlooked, now the fractures that chiselled the crack in the wall.

From the corner of his eye, the man’s brow tightens. Lucifer watches shoulders stiffening under a black suit, a red beak pulling into a frown. The imp's eyes remain cemented in the same spot of the table, however, an empty murkiness tredging the edges. Too recognizeable. Too familiar.

Lucifer closes his eyes. Fine. Okay. Okay.

“Uh.” He clears his throat. “Hard day?” Perfect.

[cryptids-and-muses]

A hilarious au idea involving Sir Nighteye

In this au, all might having a sidekick was never public knowledge, this was to maintain his image as the sole pillar of peace, and because nighteye works best in the shadows anyway.

Jump cut to 12 year old izuku meeting nighteye because reasons, I’m thinking nighteye saves him from a villain, and of course izuku BEGS him to sign his hero notebook. Here’s a hero he doesn’t recognize!! It’s so exciting!! Nighteye, upon seeing this journal, recognizes not only this kid’s talent but also how much in depth and possibly sensitive info he knows, and is like “….maybe we should keep an eye on him.”

After a bit of scoping him out, and a LOT of discussion with inko, nighteye essentially offers izuku a work study position as an analyst. The kid shows a lot of promise in that field, even if he seems dead set on being a field hero. And because nighteye’s operation is top secret, no one but izuku and inko know his after school job is at a hero agency.

Here’s where the fun starts.

Because this would not change how things play out with all might at all, he’s still offered one for all.

Izuku asks who knows about the quirk and yagi, who isn’t on speaking terms with his former sidekick who the public don’t even know he had, does not tell izuku nighteye knows about the quirk. Or even that he used to work with nighteye. Why would he? So izuku keeps this secret from nighteye and asks for reduced hours at work so he can train for UA, leaving out who he’s training with.

Meanwhile, izuku of course wants to tell all might he works with another hero, nighteye’s operation is Top Fucking Secret and izuku promised to maintain that. So at most All Might knows izuku part times at an underground hero agency, but izuku won’t tell him which one. All might finds this more amusing then anything else and respects his student’s privacy.

Nighteye still wants Mirio to be all might’s sucessor and is ENRAGED to find out he gave it to some random child he hadn’t even known a day. Refusing to listen any more.

So neither of these two idiots realize they’re mentoring the same kid.

Cue the entrance exam and izuku having to explain to nighteye that he “suddenly” manifested his quirk and nighteye is like “…..wait a minute”

I’m calling this au My Hero Custody Battle

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: dad-

Tony: ummm

Peter: ummm

Tony: does this mean I have to start parenting properly

Peter:

Peter: no don't worry you're not a regular mom you're a cool mom

Tony:

Peter:

Tony: did you just quote mean girls at me

[seefasterdraws]

from the homumiko mines

[firewasabeast]

once a year tommy goes to this little cafe outside of LA and sits at the same table and orders the same meal. he's done it since he got back from the army. no one knows about it except for the owner of the cafe, steve, who's been there since day one. he didn't always go alone. when he was young he would go with his mom. it was a yearly tradition when they'd go back-to-school shopping. they went right before he was shipped off to afghanistan too, just because they'd miss their usual date. when tommy was away, his mom died of a sudden heart attack. he didn't even find out about it for a few weeks.

he didn't go for a couple of years after that. the anniversary of their annual cafe date was somehow worse than the anniversary of her death. but one year, something inside him screamed for him to go back. go have that meal that they loved so much. sit at that table. do it for her. maybe you'll even feel her there? so he goes. and steve remembers him. how could he ever forget tommy? he'd watched that kid grow up!

the first year he went back was hard. he barely ate the food, felt indescribably lonely, and once he got back to his car he sobbed for nearly half an hour before he could even drive away.

then he came back the next year, and the next, and the next. he kept coming back, always alone. even when he had people in his life, he'd come alone.

then one year steve looked over at the table, knowing tommy should be arriving soon, and saw two men sitting there. he went over to tell them they'd have to move- the table was reserved, but halfway over he stopped. it was tommy... with someone this time. the other guy was looking around, then leaning in close to tommy. it looked like he was asking questions. he reached over the table and took tommy's hand and squeezed it and tommy... smiled. he smiled a real smile that reached his eyes. steve hadn't seen that smile since the last time he came with his mom.

so steve walks over to the table to say hello, like always. to ask him about his life and what he's been up to this last year. he'd always say "not much, really. nothing new." but this time he kept his smile, motioned toward the man across from him and introduced him as, "My boyfriend, Evan Buckley, or Buck. Evan, this is Steve."

and this boy, Buck, he stands and shakes steve's hand, asks to pull up another chair, says, "i heard you knew tommy's mom?"

steve nods. "i did." because while tommy only came once a year, his mom came more often. it was her little safe haven away from home.

"i've heard a lot about her from tommy," this buck said, a bright smile on his face. "but i'd like to know more. what was she like?"

so steve sat, and talked and talked, and the boys listened- Buck listened.

tommy never came to the cafe alone again.

[specialgrades]

Not really a request but what are your headcanons on the JJK men's dick sizes?

OHOHO cracks knuckles i can do that. going full in like nanami should be in me rn dick-scriptions time

characters: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, toji fushiguro, sukuna, choso, atsuya kusakabe

GOJO SATORU : a bit above average, a good 6.5 ~ 7in. slight curve upwards. a good 2.5 ~ 3.5in thick. pretty pink flush on the tip, shaft a few shades darker than his skin tone. cut. carpets match the drapes of course, he keeps it trimmed. fun trail tell me i'm wrong (i'm not). super sensitive vein on the underside. sensitive thighs too. grower.

GETO SUGURU : honestly, average cock size. he rounds up to five inches but we all know it's 4 3/4. two inches thick. like gojo, a nice pink flush and a few shades darker. no curve. for sure has a piercing, prince albert probably; silver jewelry. uncut. not a jungle, mildly maintained. sensitive head, especially with the piercing. shower.

NANAMi KENTO : nothing overwhelming, though still impressive. 7.5in long, 3in thick. cut, duel toned because of it. top half is more pink than the rest. short trim. curve to the left. right under the head is the key, he'll bite back a really embarrassing noise if you focus there. grower.

TOJi FUSHiGURO : i pray for y'all toji simps for real, cause fuck. 8.5in easy. 4 inches thick minimum. man built like a tripod. uncut, darker with red undertones. upwards curve. jacob's ladder. three of 'em. this man doesn't shower i'm so sorry. two prominent veins when you pull back the foreskin, sensitive but he'll never show it. shower.

SUKUNA : i pray for y'all as well. find a pringles can. it's bigger. ten inches long, four inches thick. curves upwards and a tad to the right. cut, pale so it gets a nice flush. his tattoos make an appearance, wrapping around the shaft a few times. grower thank god.

CHOSO : average length, 5.5in but thick. four inches. curve to the right, uncut. darker than his skin tone by around four shades. not super trimmed, a delicious fun trail leading to a mild bush. mildly sensitive head, though go for his navel and you'll get a lovely show of him getting all breathy and twitching. shower.

ATSUYA KUSAKABE : i've only just met this man but i want him. carnally. so... six inches in length and 2.5 in width. cut, duel toned though you can't really tell until he's flushed and the top half goes a pretty dark pink. like choso, tasteful amount of hair with the fun trail. one prominent vein that's sensitive, under the head too. grower.

[carebooks]

i’m sure someone talked about this when jatp first came out but i just rewatched it in years. (not because i forgot about it, not because i didn’t like it, but because it hurt so much to know this show wasn’t getting renewed and i had to avoid it in order to protect myself)

something i just love about the show is how they never bash on any other types of music. and each character has more than one genre of music to like.

yes, Sunset Curve was a rock band and Julie and the Phantoms are more rock indie/alternative rock band.

but that doesn’t stop Reggie from liking country music, “I shred on the banjo,” and Jeremy Shada later on actually writing and performing “Home Is Where My Horse Is” (which I recommend heavily).

that doesn’t stop Alex from getting into Dirty Candi’s bubblegum pop music and dancing alongside Carrie on stage, (and how hard it must be for Carrie, who’s father is a rock musician, and how his fans must hate that his daughter is a fem bubblegum pop musician)

that doesn’t stop Luke from absolutely going insane over Caleb’s first performance, “The Other Side of Hollywood” with it’s 20’s era vibe and Broadway level intensity. (he was also into more classic rock as shown when he tried playing a song that Bobby/Trevor stole for Julie) (and lets not forget that he can also make the most emotional ballad of alternative rock)

and that doesn’t stop Julie from alternating between piano, rock music, pop verses, love ballads, and indie rock. and she and Flynn never once talk badly about Carrie’s music genre.

everyone can have more than one type of music they’re interested in or just show appreciation for instead of bashing it or disregarding it and i love that this show did this.

[shima-draws]

One Piece where everything’s the same except Cora doesn’t die but Law’s still determined to absolutely beat the shit out of Doflamingo anyway. Cut to post Dressrosa where Law gets a VERY frantic phone call from Cora who’s like what the actual FUCK I saw the newspaper this morning you went up against Doffy all by yourself?? You promised me we would do this together you little SHIT do you have any idea how fucking scared out of my MIND I was when I saw the headline and I thought something happened to you, Law I swear to god, and Law’s like yes Cora I went up against him by myself, like HELL I was going to let him lay a single finger on you. And Cora’s like THAT’S MY LINE!!! You’re MY kid and I should be the one protecting YOU!! And Law’s like what with your shitty devil fruit powers? What could you have done? You would have fallen on your ass and gotten hurt or shot or worse and I’d be too fucking worried about you to focus on anything else. And Cora’s like this conversation is NOT over but I’m so so glad you’re okay. And he starts crying and he’s like oh my GOD Law you know how insane Doffy is I could have lost you. And I wouldn’t have even known until after the fact. And Law goes all quiet and he’s like I know I’m sorry but I could have lost YOU and I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t. And Cora’s sobbing and he’s like I love you so much Law and Law’s like yeah. I love you too 🥺

Meanwhile the Strawhats witnessed this entire conversation and they’re like. Wow okay that was a lot to unpack. Law’s got a dad and they’re very protective of each other and apparently his dad is Doflamingo’s brother?? And Law literally dismantled Doflamingo’s entire criminal organization and DIDN’T bother telling his dad about it?? No wonder he’s pissed. And they’re also like awwwww we’ve never seen Law so soft and vulnerable before 💕 and Law looks at them and he’s like. You repeat ANY of what you just heard and I WILL kill you. And they’re like ‘Mhmm okay yup we hear you loud and clear. Btw what’s your dad like’ with the BIGGEST shit eating grins and Law’s like Okay! Killing you now!! And proceeds to chase them with his katana

[peak-dumbass]

she Robots on my In til i Disguise

[lightseoul]

cw. gn!reader, reader has boobs, established relationship w/ bakugou, implied nsfw

a/n. got the idea from an ig reel by user @michaell_anthonyy (i searched SO far for the specific clip but they have so many reels i couldnt find it anymore ):

“I saw that.”

An incredulous noise erupts from the man slouched on the sofa beside you. “Hah?”

You lift your hand to poke at his side, which he swats away, annoyed. Though you know better than to think he actually is.

Embarrassed is more likely.

Deciding against poking fun at him (literally), you lean back on your end of the couch, a knowing smirk etched on your face.

“You just looked at my boobs.”

At that, Bakugou splutters.

“I did not.”

You try to reign in the guffaw that is threatening to burst from you, but fail. He only seems to redden even further at the sound.

“I’m pretty sure I saw you clearly, Kats.”

He makes a guttural noise in response, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head, face and neck still rosy, before a smug look spreads across his features.

Uh-oh.

“Yeah?” he starts, sitting up before slowly invading your space, crawling on top of you until you’re forced to lie on the cushion with your head trapped between his muscled forearms.

You stare up at him, nervous.

That sardonic grin of his is still there when he adjusts the right strap of your low-cut top, the split–second of skin-to-skin contact sending shivers down your spine.

You try not to let it show, but he notices.

Of course he does.

His grin grows even larger, canines now peeking through. He’s even more handsome like this, you think.

He dips down closer to you, snapping you out of your reverie, until his mouth is a feather's touch away from your ear.

“Something tells me you were asking for that, princess.”

basically the ig reel was captioned: 'when i catch my BF looking down my low cut shirt knowing full well that's why i wore it' with a vid of him lit rally just looking down his gf's shirt lol

tagging. @katsukis1wife @rinalou @loverboyrin @brunnetteiwik

[haveihitanerve]

Dick hated heights. He wasn’t afraid of them, that would be silly. He just… didn’t like them very much. He liked his feet on the ground, thank you very much. But he couldn’t tell his parents that, they were acrobats, they would be ruined. (Not likely but dick was six so he’s not very reasonable) And then his parents fell and dick felt justified in his hatred of heights. But then Bruce came along. And Dick told him, because he figured it was something Bruce should know if they were to be partners, if Bruce was going to rely on him in the field. And Bruce didn’t laugh or yell or do anything really, just looked thoughtful for a while and then went “well. That’s something we’ll have to work on I suppose.” And they did. They practiced distraction, so dick wouldn’t notice he was up high, they practiced balance, so dick would know, logically, that he was safe, and most of all they practiced trust, so dick would know that Bruce would always be there to catch him if he fell. Always. And he was there, every time. He never let dick fall. Dick hates his father for many things, even resented him for some, but he never hated how much he trusted Bruce. Even if they fought, even if they said things they didn’t mean, dick knew Bruce would still be there to catch him. He might wait a few seconds, being petty being a bitch, but he would catch him. Dick loved him for that. And Dick chased Bruce across rooftops with the balance and strength of an acrobat, and Robin flew across Gotham with all the steady assurance of one who knew he wouldn’t fall, and if he did that he would be caught. Dick Grayson hated heights, it was true, but Dick Grayson-Wayne, the first Robin, Nightwing, leader of the Teen Titans and Young Justice… Well, he thrives in the sky.

[nichelleladonna]

i love total drama (obviously) but "hey what's up i'm here to slay" is the worst ick any TV theme song has ever given me