#this is so much funnier to me then it should be holy shit

[elizakai]

killer x killer but context died last reset

(The first icon is from @shittyutmv and the second is @swiftmitsu)

(also mitsu this post is for you.)

[rogueddie]

A Spot in My Life T | 953 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is keeping a spare sweater or blanket in the car because they always get cold

Steve Harrington is a bitch.

It's something that Eddie knew, all through high school, but he had thought that Steve had somehow became a new person- thanks to the Upside Down and constantly almost seeing the world end.

Steve isn't a bad guy, he can admit. He's still trying to keep an eye on everyone, make sure they're ok, even checking in with Eddie in his own way.

But he's very sly about it, hiding it being playful jabs, eye rolls and cocked hips.

It rubs him the wrong way. And it's only made worse by how much Eddie still likes him. It's as if the bitchiness only draws him in more, even as it makes his chest burn with irritation.

He tries to avoid Steve for as long as he can. He knows that finally befriending him like they both want will only end badly, but he knows he can't resist the temptation.

He enjoys the time before as much as he can, reveling in how often Steve will try to corner him so they can hang out, how much he whines and pleads and pushes. He enjoys the illusion that Steve could feel anything for him like he does for Steve.

And, when they finally do hang out, his fears are confirmed.

Steve is amazing. He's funnier than he comes across as at first too. He pays attention to what Eddie says and tries to get him anything he wants.

He's the type of friend that anyone would fight for, Eddie is sure. It explains how he ended up so popular in high school too.

If Eddie had known what Steve is truly like, he'd have been lining up for a scrap of his attention like everyone else.

"They're assholes," Steve explains, when Eddie finally asks about his old lackeys. "Tommy always took shit a step too far. I didn't need them. Probably shouldn't have befriended them in the first place."

"They were your friends," Eddie reminds him.

Steve sighs, leaning back. "Yeah, I guess. Just wish I'd realised sooner, how they were getting."

He never complains about the kids, not genuinely. In the quiet moments, when Steve is honest with an almost painful degree of vulnerability, he talks about how amazing the kids are. He talks about how honored he is to be friends with Dustin.

It only makes Eddies feelings inch ever closer to 'the L word'.

"You should talk to him," Robin suggests. "He really is amazing."

"I know, but... guys that are ok with lesbians still get weird about gay men, you know?"

"Yeah, but Steve isn't like that. Did he ever tell you the full story of how I came out to him?"

"It was after the Russian torture drugs, right?"

"We were in the bathroom, near the cinema. I thought we might have puked it all up, so we decided to test it, ask each other questions. So, I asked him if he was ever in love..."

"Oh... oh no."

"Oh yes. He liked me, told me so, and that's when I came out to him."

"Holy shit, Robin."

"But that's my point. He was a little surprised, sure, but he started making jokes, like, immediately. Didn't phase him at all. He got with it immediately. We're just friends, and that's not a problem for him."

Eddie groans, throwing his head back so it thumps into the wall behind him. "But that just makes him more hot!"

The story plagues his mind, to the point that it's the only thing he can think about when he picks Steve up for their next hang out.

In the dead of winter, Steve feels the cold worse than anyone else that Eddie knows. He runs hot, and the sudden temperature drops brings out the worse in him.

He's shivering when he climbs into Eddie's car.

"Fuck, why isn't your heating on?" He whines.

"It's broke," Eddie reminds him. "It's fine, don't worry."

"Don't worry? I'm gonna get hypothermia, Eddie! I don't want to turn into an ice sc- what is that?"

He takes the blanket that Eddie had reached back to grab, staring at it.

"It's a blanket."

"No shit, I mean... it's yellow."

"Yeah? You like yellow."

"You got this for me?"

"You see anyone else shivering in my van?"

"No, it..." Steve pauses, glancing at Eddie before slowly wrapping the blanket around himself. "Sorry, uh... thank you. This is, um, nice."

"it's nothing."

"It's not. Just- take the thanks, Ed."

"Alright, alright."

They're silent for the rest of the drive. It's so unusual for them that it has Eddie nervous, glancing at Steve every other moment.

When they finally pull to a stop, Eddie turns to Steve, who stays where he is. He stares out the front window for a moment, before turning to face Eddie.

"Are you alright?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, I am. Enjoying the warmth."

"That all?"

"... yeah."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "You're a terrible liar."

"Wh- hey, I'm a good liar!" He tries to glare, but quickly backs down with a huff. "Alright, fine, but it's really sappy! Don't say I didn't warn you!"

"Oh, no, the horror."

"Shut up. I was just thinking about how, like... there's so many little things in your life that are for me. My tapes in your room, spare clothes in your closet, this blanket... I really appreciate it, man. You've made space for me in your life. It means a lot to me."

"Oh, right. That's... yeah. Of course, Steve. You're always welcome. I love- uh... spending time with you."

"Good. I love spending time with you too."

"Good."

"Great."

Steve's smile is wide and goofy. He's sure that his own is just as cheesy.

[arty-cakes]

being both a bretta and zote fan is so so painful actually ppl will always find some way to make sure they never interact again or use the latter to (seriously) demonize zote for stuff he never did while also mischaracterising bretta and i 💥👊💥🥊👊🤜🤛💥🤜👊🤜💥🤜💥🥊 🤜👊👊👊🤜💥 im not good at putting into words why this is frustrating

either make them divorced mortal enemies or reluctant friends who actually enjoy eachother's company either of those are funnier but why make up stuff that didnt happen and then pretend its canon and the reason why they should never talk again..... thats so boring

i was gonna leave this in the tags but no i wanna talk

i know im complaining here but its honestly not an issue i see a-lot like i do see them being enemies or friends in fancontent and to the ppl who do that ily very much. its always cool. and people like my dynamic too and when they let me know it makes me rlly happy lol

but i feel like people need to understand that not every situation is good or bad sometimes they are just. situations. like bretta and zote

and i still feel like there's this general misunderstanding about zote that needs to be cleared up which is that he's not actually.... a liar lol. or i mean the only person he lies to is himself and he's not pretending to be a knight he really BELIEVES he's a knight. don quixote coded like he rlly believes he killed the vengefly king and won the colosseum tournament and whatever. all confirmed by his dreamnail dialogue like it makes it REALLY CLEAR that he believes what hes saying. he's actually having delusions thats why most people in hollow knight choose to help him out its why he cant process life threatening situations. he's still annoying just because of his general personality but NOT because of his delusions. (i'd say something profound about how usefulness ties to worth in most people's subconscious and its rooted in ableism and its why zote hate is so loud and normalized but i dont know how to) basically he is not out here 'manipulating' anyone wtf

bretta's delusional too btw the game literally calls her out (gpz godhome description i think). personally i like that canon decided these two should meet and the result was this awfully tough dreamgod that u can fight 10x that's hilarious to me. if a fan made this up and it never happened in canon i would be like 'holy shit this should be a dlc this WOULD happen' because these two are just like that

also people seriously forget that bretta didnt just leave because of zote she left because of ghost too. girl just had enough of short knights ok she was done with both of them if you bring her back to town she's not suddenly gonna realize ghost is heroic and cool and be apologetic and want them back and zote's mad and jealous. <- this out here is mischaracterising ALL 3 of them its so juvenile what.... and i just dont think she'd care that much about either of them, a lot like how zote barely gives a shit about the infection or never realizes she left, they both have tunnel vision these two are the same do you see it

also tell me he was lying when he called ghost a beast because they are thats all they've been striving for this is a compliment to them i know it

this isnt reallyyy a rant. its a personal grievance because i like them both so i care about their portrayal and interactions and i like it when they aren't lonely. but also they're really light-hearted characters so why not just treat them like that....they go through shit and then they move on easily and go through it all over again. its been 7 years can we cut them a break. i dont wanna see anymore mischaracterising unless its really funny

[defectivefanboy]

Hey there! I’ve read a few of your posts now and I truly enjoy your writing, you’re very good at it ^^

I was wondering if I could request an Alastor x gender neutral reader who is similar to Beetlejuice (personality and power wise). Like, how did he feel about them at first? And how did it progress into more of a relationship.

If not, that’s completely alright! I hope you have a great rest of your day <3

~ 🕷️🕸️

yessir!! this is actually the first time (and second for good measure) that I watched Beetlejuice fully through.

I was wondering if I could request an Alastor x gender neutral reader who is similar to Beetlejuice (personality and power wise). Like, how did he feel about them at first? And how did it progress into more of a relationship.

Overall notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.

C/W: Cursing, Mentions of Pervertedness, its Beetlejuice, You're canonical Jesus Christ /j, or am I?, Dark humor, Possessive Alastor, Mentions of Bite marks, Dirt ball reader, just reader being gross here and there, nothing too much, youre Beetlejuice, reader has universal rizz

Notes: If you read the C/W warnings it was real late leave me alone. you'll understand when you get there. writing this my mind kept straying and just wanted to write Alastor love because god holy fuck I love him. Im an actual slut for domestic alastor I could write him all day.

The Radio Show...

Oh he's truly interested in you. Not remotely romantic or even platonically, but he is interested (at least at first)

Lets be real quick, he knows hes in hell, but what IN the hell is he looking at.

And what was that outfit you were wearing??? Did you just get out of prison prom???

But your first meeting with him was... interesting to say the least

But then again I think all your interactions are interesting (always more, never less)

But damn. He just had to think the 'sinner' was new to hell and could easily get a quick bite

Poor Alastor really thought the 'sinner' that looked around hell like a lost child as he strolled up with his uncanny smile

Last thing he expected was a jumpy, sporadic, and unfortunately a bit more then a little bit of a pervert.

The record stopped more than a few time at your comments–- Sorry Alastor.

And it had only been a few minutes of meeting you (rip)

And to be honest with you. come here. little closer

He did not know what in all of hell you were trying to pitch to him

He couldn't even get a word in with how fast you talked

And how many voices you did, you basically had a conversation to yourself.

"Ghost can't even scare humans away anymore, pfft. Can't you believe that shit. The last jack offs wouldn't even call me, I had to get some human girl to do it. Is it weird it happened twice? Second time her mom was dead! Gets funnier each time."

Oh?

Humans?

Now you have his interest

And you were able to travel to the human world

"So you're a hell born demon then, correct?" Alastor asked quirking a brow at the questionable individual in front of him, who quickly stopped talking to, well, themselves and snapped their head to him. They seemed to had just gotten here... or gotten back, as their clothes were slightly tussled and their hair was flying everywhere

With a quick dusting of your clothes you straightened your posture. Clearing your throat you spoke in a flat monotone voice. "Well, no actually, uhm, I was born in a manger inside of a barn, my mother, was a virgin and my step father Jospeh was a real piece of work let me tell you that. Died for your sins, y'know, should be thanking me."

This is the first time the radio show had gone radio silent... before he walked away.

Alastor had met a lot of demons, probably killed even more.

Hell he has even put up with that horny spider, but this was the first time he had to take a breather from another sinner? demon? enigma?

But damn it all to hell, he was curious

He had been for so long and he had only interacted with lower hellborn demons.

The occasional Goetia or hell royal would make a public appearance, but that that was all.

Never had he interacted with someone who went from hell to the human world on the daily

The first few meetings he truly tried to keep his distance, keyword tried

But you can only keep a person who teleports around at a distance for some long

Though it to end in you being pushed back by his microphone when you got a bit too close on accident more often then not

But overall he enjoys each of your meetings, enjoy being used loosely

He was more interested in the ever changing world of humans

You only get as knowledgeable of the new world as it comes in, but you have to find them

So having a way to always keep updated he truly enjoyed.

He kinda saw you as, well, while he would say a mole, as you get him information

Not that you honestly realize, you kinda just talk about random shit

He sees you as well, as uh, ahem...

"Quite the squirrelly fellow you are, aren't you?" He quipped with a smile on his face. The both of you walking along one of the many roads of hell as you talked about your latest excursion to the human world. Giving him a confused look you gave him a side eye a you spoke. "Now, what do you mean by that, hm? I don't storage tree nuts in my cheeks, I storage metal nuts in them." Taking your hand you drug into your cheek and pulled out a rusted nut before offering it to him. In which he squatted away with his microphone.

"No."

Alastor in or out of a relationship now seems like the calm one out of the pair whenever you two are together

And he always has a tilt to his head whenever he's with you as if he's always curious about your next move (well bc he honestly is)

Getting into a relationship is simple to him, but not to you.

He had to explain a few times (many times) to you that you two were on a date while out. Thank the lord he has more patience then he let's on

Truly he's only patient with you after learning he'll get no where either way

He tried threatening at one point, but it didn't work when you tried getting him to work for you in the human world.

Spoiler alert: that also didn't work

Alastor did tried to ask you out in a traditional way. Taking you to dinner, albeit at a cannibal restaurant, he really didn't know what you ate

He was disgusted when he found out, almost gagged, had to take a moment for himself

But he tried asking you out in a nice, classy, quiet place.

Spoiler again: didnt work

His question when right over your head.

"Go out? Aren't we already out? What we doing then? How more out do you wanna be? Gotta say though, never been to a place this fancy, must got some walking cash, huh? You know we could start a business together I be the brains, face and you can be..." You droned on as your hand flared around as you spoke. Alastor stared at you as static rumbled from his chest, one eye twitching in annoyance. Sighing he shook his head as he stared with a smile. Maybe you didn't understand what he was asking, or maybe you did. To be honest he doesn't know how much you know, but maybe letting you go on about whatever it is you're planning and get a deal out of you.

Nothing big, just a small pact that you two are "partners."

Cheeky Bastard.

He did tell you eventually someday, he's not heartless

Don't mention that it was after he had convinced you to move in his home (or apartment?? he staying at the hotel?? like??)

But it's another story for getting you to take a shower or a bath.

While Alastor isn't a clean freak or anything he much rather keep his house clean and smell free.

Alastor had quite a few sleepiness nights when you decided to sneak into his bed without a shower.

He almost banned you from the house until you agreed to take a shower after 'work'

now onto the good part

While he doesnt enjoy physical touch from anyone, only part taking in it when he's making someone uncomfortable

He settled on the fact you were gonna keep making every effort to get into his personal space

You only found out he enjoyed having you near him when your items from the guest room you had been staying in were now in his room

Be it having a hand placed on the middle of your back or letting you fiddle with his fingers as you talk

He always finds a way to get a touch in on a daily basis

What can he say? he likes to have a hold on what's his

That's another thing

He's a possessive lover, or person in general but ignore that right now

He just doesn't understand

Why do you have so much rizz

Both sinners and hell born demons seem to love you

And he hates it

Loathes it

If we wanted to get Nsfw real quick

He likes to leave bites and marks on you so even humans know where you belong <3

Going back to sfw

On the outside, beyond the walls of his home. He's well, he's Alastor

Cunning, Cruel, and Evil

But inside? .......Hey Siri, can you domestic a deer?

We already know he enjoys cooking, his mothers recipes are always a hit. He does have to convince you to eat something if it's new.

But he's decently domestic within the comfort of his own walls. As domestic as he can be will a feral dog in his home now. At least you're potty trained, right? Right??

He always enjoyed being alone, especially when he needed a break.

But as weird as it was for the first few months

Going to bed alone in a quiet home, everything neat and orderly was always a treat for the

just to wake up to a god awful mess like a hurricane had hit only the inside of the house.

Thankfully he's unable to fully freak out when he feels the weight of a body laying on him.

Arms wrapped securely in place as he moved around trying to view the full scope of the mess.

The look of defeat only rested on his face for a moment before he was pulled down by striped arms.

"What are staring at, red?..." You said half asleep as you pulled on the back up his shirt collar. "it's still too early to worry about the mess. Come back to bed" He gently shook his head in disgust opening his mouth to speak before getting cut off by a strong pull of his shirt. "I was setting up... sandworm traps. Couldn't't let them get my dearest deer." Alastor gave you a questioning look wanting to ask, but knowing better not too.

Sighing he let himself relax back into the comforter and wrap his arms loosely around as you laid right back on top of him. One of his hands softly treaded through your messy hair causing you to sigh and melt into his body. It was a quiet few moments until he had a passing thought.

"Wait... deer with an A, correct? Correct??"

He wasn't getting an answer from you anytime soon...

[lappel-du-vide83]

Also getting back to the manhwas train I finally read debut or die which was?? Not at all like I was expecting?? But anyways, here are just my reactions (often kinda random) but I hope you read through and can figure out what's going on while finding it funny!

Also don't ask me which chapter it starts at because brother in arms I don't know either

EUGENE IS SO FUNNY

[VTIC Cheongryeo sunbae-nim: Call me if you feel like dying ^^]

- LMFAOOOO what

didn’t know where this dogsh*t idea came from. Does his pituitary produce saliva instead of hormones? It was fortunate that he was the type to be impressed by trivial interpersonal relationships.

- woah what went straight for the jugular

I never thought that the situation where I cried for the first time in nearly 7 years would be live in front of a camera with 13,000 people.

- AND AIN'T AFRAID TO CRY

- OR TREAT HIS MAMA RIGHT

“You didn’t have a trashy attitude back then, Moondae. You just worked hard even though you were sick. Chungwoo hyung was worried too.”

- Oml

[We have to lose!]

- Bless cha Eugene's heart

-- HE'S SAYING IT IN ENG

Hey, that’s scary. I’m scared.’

- Behold the intelligence of mcs

The company’s internal network structure is derived from T1.’

- HOLY SHIT THIS GUY'S DEDUCTING SKILLS IS CRAZY

- Have you considered a career in

- Forensic?

He also gave very American advice.

- LMFAO

I cheered as I reviewed the ten-day seclusion plan.

- FR

- secluded for 10 days sounds like the DREAM

‘I am so f*cking uncomfortable with it, you bastard.’

- Leave the poor man alone 😭

-- Is this..?

-- THE KIDNAPPING???

(- WHAT

Why don’t you try to commit suicide?”

- CRAZY BASTARD

-- He is now the kidnapper

--- Kidnappee turn kidnapper

Because I beat the sh*t out of him.”

- Amen

It’s okay. I won.”

- HELL YEAH YOU DID

The fact that I was injured enough to go to the hospital was funnier.

- WHAT STOP

- HE COLLAPSED

- WTF

- PLS REST

--

HE'S ACTUALLY SO MANIPULATIVE

-- USING THE SKILL

-- SUBTLY CHANGING THEIR THOUGHTS IT'S CRAZY

---

DO YOU REALLY WANNA WORK THAT HARD

Arent you drinking too much

- ONG was not expecting this to actually be a problem

You look tired these days!”

- OMG HE _IS_ AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR

--

Oh no he got a SURPRISE BDAY PARTY

-- Woah so his actual one is 8 dec??

-- That's awfully close

---

WATCHING RED PANDAS IN THE CORNER OF HIS ROOM

--- SAUR CUTE

----

HIS GRANDMA IS AN OPP

---- I'M SORRY IT'S REALLY MEAN BUT GET IT TOGETHER GIRL

---- OMG CHA YUJIN INSISTING THAT HE STAY

---- URGHHH MY HEART

Self criticism should be done during spare time not when it's a nuisance

- I respect this man so much

like a brainless idiot

- STOP

- YOU ARE SMART

- AND AMAZING

- YOU JUST GIVE 200% AT THE WRONG TIMES

--

AW OMG HE CARES SO MUCH

-- BLESS RAEBIN

-- EVERYONE ACTUALLY

-- THEY ARE THERE FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH

- - -

Woah wait so they're aiming for a Moondae is the the same person as bae sejin feel??

--- I am INVESTED in the mv lore

It doesn't matter if it was worse this time

- NO

- IT'S ALREADY SO BAD

- THE RECOIL SHOULD NOT GET WORSE

- THAT'S RIGHT SLEEP MORE

- JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BACCHUAS DOESN MEAN YOU DONT NEED SLEEO

--

OH NO

-- THE ACCIDENT

-- STOP

-- ARGHHH

-- WILL YOU REST PLEASE

-- OH THANK FUCK

---

WAIT

--- NO

--- NONONONO

--- STOP

--- NOT ALLT HE WAY BACK

--- Daydream??

( how desparate he is)

- OH MY FUCKING GOD

- SHOULD I JUMP OFFF

- NO

- OMG

- NO

--

OMG THIS REALISATION is Tearing me APART

rapid prayers in spanish

- the angst here is killing me

--

THANK GOD FOR NECTAR

-- 18 DAY COMA

OMFG

-- CHA YUJIN IS SAUR CUTE

-- BRIBED HIM WITH TANGEIRNES

-- HE'S SORRY

-- HE IS FORGIVEN

-- CHA YUJIN KEEPING QUIET ABOUT VTIC

-- AND BLACKMAILING MOONDAE

-- SO ADORABLE

---

FUNDRAISING

--- He's actually so sweet

--- PLS EVERYONE WAS CRYING

"do you think I'm some kind of sociopath"

- SEJIN NO

- THEYRE FRIENDS <333

- PLEASE I NEED THEM TO BE HAPPY

--

So the system is actively trying to help him??

---

TSRANDED ARC!!

--- Lights out :0

--- SAVE THE CHICKENS

--- The secret door is so ominous

--- Horror arc

--- OMG MOONDAE GOING wtf do I do??

--- SO REALL

--- WAS SO SCARED FOR A SECOND

----

THE MEETING

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- AHHHHHH

---- DID HE RUN AWAY???

---- I'M SO CONFUSED

---- BUT RGW IN THIS CONTEXT IS SO SWEET

HE TRIED TO COMMIT DEATH

- WHAT

- WHAT THE FUCK

- HUH

- IT ENDED LIKE THAT????

- No more abnormalities???

- WHAT

--

:OO A CONVO WITH OG PMD

Ah the need to be in control of every situation

- So valid

AND THEN MY TEXTS JUST END THERE SO...

anyways hope you had a laugh

And I really hope this fandom gets so much bigger than it is now :)

[thatdeadaquarius]

PLS YOU’RE SO FUNNY your pspspsps is too strong I’m back with more asks hello how are you I’m loving your takes on sagau! I thought of a contribution by the power of the pspsps imagine like the languages in teyvat are based on the nations’ real life counterparts (like Japanese for Inazuma) but like only loosely. So creator knows like exactly 3 words in Japanese and think they’re gonna take that and somehow make it work but they get there and understand NOTHING. They finally understand like one word but turns out it means something completely different in this version of “Japanese” so they think someone told them hi and they said hi back but they’re just going around saying “fuck” and no one wants to tell them

ANOTHER ONE YUHSSS LURING BACK IN FOR MORE im doing well tysm for asking ya flatterer!!

aw u think im funny??!! 🥰 well geez here i thought i was just going feral over sagau/isekai genshin stuff and it was like a dam burst and all yall were just coming down with me funny or not 🤷‍♂️

(Hey askers look ive got cookies 🍪🍪🍪 :) if u ask smth ill give u one!!)

Nice to know the humor translates, but holy fuck this ask is like 10x funnier than anything ive written so far or come up with LMAO PLEASE NO ONE WANTS TO TELL YOU-

____________

This is exactly what Portugese vs. Spanish is like i stg

Im not fluent yet but i know a decent amount of spanish at this point, but when i was first learning it i ran into some Portuguese and couldnt really read it and was like?? Oh ok maybe this is too many vocab words i dont get yet, and showed it to another person who spoke some Spanish and they were like ".. Uh, wtf is that?? What is that???🧐😟 Thats not even Spanish, but why is it almost???" And they just kept trying to read it so hard bc they thought it was so close it should work 😭

Anyway the point is i feel like that is just you in this scenario over and over again lol

Its like teaching a little kid language and they happen to pick up the cusswords the best,

Omfg ur around Beidou about to head to Inazuma (bc i like to think u traveling with Aether/Lumine and they r sweet enough not to abandon ur weird ass)

And Beidou just keeps cussing in Liyue's-almost-Mandarian-Chinese-but-not, and ur like trying to pick smth up bc it sucks none of ur little bits and pieces of lang. from ur world have worked so far, and she keeps saying this one word over and over again, to this angry looking Liyue guy, oh hey wait a minute, that's the Mandarin word for "hello"!! Maybe she's using it sarcastically?? She smiled afterward, oh Kazuha's laughing!! Maybe it means smth different? But they still look positive abt it so eh, cant hurt, and you sort of know how to say it!!

"你好 !! (nǐhǎo)", you do a little wave too :)

(I just used straight mandarin for this pls tell me if not right-)

Hey you did it! Sort of, you didn't really do the tones right, and you look over to see if they got it, and oop-

Everybody froze and looked at you, before Beidou starts screaming laughing, Kazhua's wheezing so hard he's leaning on a barrel nearby, the traveler is trying to keep it together, but u can see Beidou's ridiculous laugh is contagious and is spreading rapidly to crew members and to the traveler,,

The angry Liyuean man no longer looks angry, oh, he's leaving, welp, you can tell u did smth funny, but u havent a clue what u actually said

Every now and then Beidou will come up to you and try to teach u more Liyuean words, but anytime the traveler sees it they shoo her off, she has a shit-eating grin on her face, while the traveler looks unamused or is at least trying to hide their amusement

(There r so many characters that will take advantage of this and only try to teach you cuss words, at least at first, CHILDE, kaveh, VENTI, Itto, BEIDOU, Xinqiu the little prankster, ppl i can think of quickly god i gotta look at a character list)

Beidou BEAMS anytime u say "nîhâo" now, and gives u a thumbs up everytime 👍

You learn much later that you probably should just give up trying to say any of your world's lang. That sound equivalent to each genshin country's lang. bc apparently the few words you know from them are either random shit like "egg, bowl, etc." Or straight up explicit "fuck, shit, piss etc."

__________

I didnt have too much to add bc that is a GREAT AND HILARIOUS idea all on its own (esp if u did it in front of more serious characters or situation)

So pls forgive if lackluster writing happened!!

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! COME AGAIN!! AND YOU'LL GET A FREE COOKIE!! :]

✨️🍪✨️

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[kostnyan]

I love all Kalim ships equally, I do really, but there's just something about shipping Kalim with the Octovinelle trio... They're so silly together that I just can't explain it lol. Not to mention extremely interesting with exploring each character and how their dynamic would work with each other! Each relationship brings forth a different aspect of each character that I truly think should be explored. I know octo trio x Kalim is considered rare pair status in the en fandom(and in the jp fandom to some extent (Azul)) but I think more people should open their eyes to their potential!

For Azul x Kalim you have so much to work with! Azul canonly wants to get on Kalim's good side or have Kalim owe him a favor in order for him to build business relations with Kalim's father. Kalim's family are highly influential, and I love a point someone made about Kalim and Azul as characters; Kalim isn't the type to hold over deeds and actions he's done for people over them, while Azul sees the world where no one is doing something for free without a catch, and Azul doesn't want to be caught in a situation where he owes some. Kalim would 100% introduce Azul to his father no coercion needed, but it's so much funnier to imagine Azul making a long convoluted plan to get to meet Kalim's father that ends with him and Kalim married with three kids(it's all part of the plan baby, this way Kalim can't back out this situation so easily! They've started a family together! It's totally not like he's accidentlylost sight of his original goal, totally) and Kalim going, " babe, you do realize that I would have introduced you to my father without this whole 2000 step plan, right?" and Azul sweating bullets. Jokes aside, I do think their personalities would be very interesting to mess around with! Azul acts very mature and highly intelligent, and he is! But he does have his childish side, tending to be a bit of a cry baby and childish in other regards. Kalim on the other hand, though he seems very air headed and silly, he can be quite mature? I think they complement each other wonderfully.

Jade X Kalim is also interesting as well! I remember seeing someone saying something along the lines like " that the Leech twins probably look for someone who reminds them of their siblings in their partners, " and I can totally see that. That being said, on a surface level, Kalim is very similar to Floyd, but he's a little easier to handle compared to Floyd and his mood swings(though I don't think Jade minds them that much though lol). I do think Jade would probably be interested in Kalim at first because of this, but falls for Kalim as Kalim. Kalim is interesting in that since in the fact that he really doesn't see the worst in people, and he's hopelessly optimistic. The same could be said about Kalim as well, looking for someone who reminds him of Jamil(though the same thing could be said about Azul I suppose lol). I do think Kalim would try to find the similarities in both boys, but would find out quickly how different they are. Jade can definitely use someone who wouldn't see the worse in him till the bitter end, and I think that could lend to a lot spicy and angsty content if you're willing to get brain works like me! Jade is weird and obsessive in a way that just makes me go crazy.

As for Floyd X Kalim? I think surface level wise, they're a very feel good ship to me! They're both very high energy in different ways that can bounce off of each other, plus they share a few similar hobbies, like dancing and music( I remember reading some where that Floyd plays the drums(among a numerous assortment of other instruments lol) and I can't stop thinking about that??? They both play drums??? Holy shit) that I think it'd be rad to see them dance and jam out together. But at the same time they both have a depth to them that I think should be explored. I do think Kalim would be the calmer of the two, and would be able to mellow out Floyd to a certain degree if they were to get into a relationship. I also feel like regardless, they'd still be an extremely chaotic duo. I can just see the type of noise they'd get up too... They'd be like one of those super artsy fartsy space case couples you see on tv and such that are all over the place but are madly in love with each other.

Regardless, I love the octovinelle trio with Kalim... Especially because I know it'd just fuck with Jamil, regardless with who he ends up with. I like seeing Jamil suffer in the stupidest ways possibly. Like making Azul Kalim's boyfriend and never hearing the end of it from him. Absolutely awful(for Jamil that is, Kalim is obviously, and Azul would be a smug bastard). And don't get me started on the Leech twins...

[thechaoticfanartist]

Ooh for the ask game…Obi-Wan and Grim’s first meeting from Obi-Wan’s POV?

Send me "POV" and I'll write a scene from one of my fics/wips in another character's POV.

Please, I've always joked that their first interactions would be even funnier from Obi-Wan's perspective and you have proved me right.

Originally from Chapter 1 of TCWGANV.

Word Count: 939

The battle was going smoothly. Obi-Wan led the 212th against the droid army. Everything was normal - and then there was a shift in the Force. A powerful one. He could not place it - he had never felt anything like this before.

Then he noticed a young girl hiding behind a rock, but it wasn’t as much cover as she thought it was. He ran in front of her and deflected a droid’s blaster bolt. Then he turned around, she couldn’t be any older than fourteen. “Are you alright?” He asked her.

She blinked. “Holy shit. You’re fucking Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

He elected to ignore her profanity. She was in shock - clearly. How had she even ended up in the middle of this battle without anyone realizing? “Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked again.

She blinked again. This time he could tell she was registering his question. “Yeah, thanks to you, you saved me, thanks,” she replied, clearly shaken.

“You should get to a safer area, it’s dangerous for you to be here,” he told her.

She nodded. “Okay, yeah, I’ll do that. Do you know where a safer area is?”

Obi-Wan gave her instructions on where she could go to avoid being in the middle of an active warzone. She nodded, and he hoped she was paying attention, her life might depend on it. Once she started to follow his directions he ran off back to the battle, hoping the child would be okay.

He had dropped his lightsaber. Before he could pick it up - the girl from before used the Force to do so. She ignited his weapon and ran in front of him before he was hit by a blaster bolt. Obi-Wan was taken completely by surprise.

She turned around and handed him back his lightsaber. “You dropped something,” she informed him, casually. He wondered if she had any idea of what she had done.

Now he was the one left in shock. It almost took him a moment to register what had happened. Although he didn’t let it show - he was the Jedi Master here after all. “Thank you,” he said, slightly embarrassed. Keeping a calm composure he then said: “Though I believed I told you to get someplace safe?”

She blinked. Clearly only now registering what she had done. “Right! I’ll, uh, I’ll go do that now.” With that she awkardly ran off.

How strange. He thought. He would have to talk to her after the battle about her clear ablity to use the Force. But first, of course, he had to win the battle.

When the battle finally came to an ending however, it was not Obi-Wan who found the girl, but rather she who had found him. She approached him, and he could tell she seemed a little nervous. “Hello, do you think you could help me?”

“What do you need help with?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Okay so, first let me introduce myself, I’m Grim Kennet, and I’m from another universe where all of this is fictional, anyways I’ve seen a lot of this universe and I don’t really like the ending. It’s super upsetting and a lot of people die, and I don’t want that to happen. And I think, because I’m from another universe and all, I can prevent that from ever happening, I mean it’s going to be hard, but I have to try! I can’t let people die if I can stop it! I know it’s crazy, and you probably don’t believe me, and I understand! But do you think maybe you can help me?”

He blinked. She was right, it was crazy. Another universe? Did that mean the multiverse existed? He had a hard time believing her, but he wasn’t going to outright tell Grim that. “Well, you seem like an ah…spirtited young person, and you’ve already demonstrated your….potentional today.” It was true, at least. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I believe we’ll be seeing much more of each other in the future, but I also believe we’d better figure out where you’ll be staying before I can bring you to the Council. Shall we?”

She grinned ear to ear. “Alright!”

“What does your home look like, young one? Perhaps I can help you find it.”

She frowned. Oops. “You don’t believe me. How can I prove it? I’m being honest with you. How can I prove to you I’m from another universe and know about this one?”

She was certianly smart. He had an idea for her. “Perhaps inform me of something you wouldn’t be able to know otherwise.”

She smiled. “Alright.” She thought about it for a moment. “How long has the war been going on?” She asked. “Just so I don’t spoil the future.”

A smart idea. He was about to tell her when she answered the question for herself. “Know what never mind it’s still season one territory you’re wearing armor, possibly season two, but I feel like it’s season one.” He wanted to ask how she figured that out from his armor and what it implied but didn’t get the chance to. “Okay, something before The Clone Wars show…”

Show? This war was a TV show in her universe?

Grim continued to think for a moment before she settled on something. “This is something you said to Qui-Gon many years ago: ‘you were right Master, the negotiations were short,’ or is that not enough proof?”

Obi-Wan was left speechless. There was no way she could have known that. She was indeed telling the truth. “Alright,” he said at last. “You’ve made your point.”

This was perhaps the strangest day in his life.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @milfspectre1 @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @aiylasdrawings @keoxus  @dykerebel @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @amelia-song-pond @it-was-rose @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @shrinkthisviolet

[attempted-influencer]

Scott pilgrim takes off spoilers for S1E8

Two minor notes about the episode, and I’ll start with the funnier one first -

When everyone is fighting older Scott at once, a song from the video game kicks in, and while the song itself goes hard as hell it’s worth noting that it’s literally called Sub Boss Theme - in the video game the song plays for only two fights, neither of whom are actual bosses:

the first is when you go up against Envy and Lynette before you face off against Todd (where they fight each other first because in book canon Todd cheats on envy with Lynette) and the second time is when you face off against Robot-01 at the Halloween party.

Im not conspiratorial but the through line where the two significant bosses are robot 01, who was at the centre of every major fight and plot point in takes off, and a fight that happens when one ex of Ramona’s cheats on Scott’s ex, and the fact that we never learn why it is Scott and Ramona went into a “rough patch” — I’m reading way too much into this but that’s exactly where my brain went

It’s also hilarious because it implies Scott isn’t even a full boss, he’s a sub boss. Not even worthy of a full boss title

The second thing I wanted to get off my chest is just how fucking raw Ramona’s lines are as she looks at older Scott stomping his way towards the two of them, and she’s afraid her current Scott will become that, and while he reassures her she says “how can you be so sure?”

This idea that no matter what, something will happen that drives them apart, like it can’t be helped, it haunts me. I guess while super Ramona says that they are the same (implying the two Scott’s are also the same) older Scott is from a timeline wherein he directly fought and defeated the exes, and takes off Scott had time to watch Ramona make amends, he grew, learned from both of their mistakes, he has a chance to be better, to make sure things are set right

No idea if there’s gonna be another season or what they’re gonna do but holy shit

Also someone should tell Julie about the 6 brainwashed women Gideon has in his basement

[mod2amaryllis]

Lots of people are coming out with their best shows/movies/anime etc. of the year, and since you have such impeccable taste I'd love to hear yours! Only if it's okay ofc! Have a wonderful rest of 2022 and great 2023!

ok this is the only end of year reflection i have the capacity to do tonight, lemme thiiink ummm it was a big year for things tbh!!! I'll just ramble i guess, first up...

TV SHOWS

SEVERANCE: possibly the best first season of a show I've ever seen, and absolutely the best s1 finale of a show I've ever seen, huge ups to @tricktster for recommending it. you've probably heard it a million times but if you haven't, GO WATCH SEVERANCE, it lives up to the hype.

THE REHEARSAL: the magic trick that this show pulls is so bizarre and unprecedented it's like. impossible for me to even talk about. the entire time watching it i was gaping at my tv in open disbelief. it does and says so much in the wildest ways possible I'm still obsessed.

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS S4: three words, Baby Colin Robinson

ANDOR: I'm not a star wars guy at allll. not even a little bit. my expectations have never been high. but when i saw @variastrix loving it up on my dash i was like okaaay and holy shit. SO good. the prison arc especially was just like OUUUGHH THEMES AND DIALOGUE OFF THE CHARTS!!!

ANIME

SPY X FAMILY: what's especially fun is that we were in Japan while the second part of the season was dropping and Anya was fucking eeeeverywhere!!! everyone agrees with me cannot get ENOUGH of that funny little girl!!! best execution of fake dating trope everr the more convoluted the better.

MOB PSYCHO 100 III: ......like. c'mon what is there to even say. what's there to saaaaay! it's in my top 3 anime ever! the subversion of shonen anime has basically ruined all other stereotypical anime for me forever because it's just. so much better. so much funnier and more poignant to watch the most powerful boy ever strive to be a better person. i love that little guy and his silly conman role model

MOVIES

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE: i feel the same way about this movie as anyone else. saw the trailer, hooked instantly, then when i actually watched it i walked out going "this is the greatest movie I've ever seen??????" insanely shot, cast incredible, the whole premise simultaneously huge as a multiverse and small as an immigrant couple in a laundromat. this movie defined my cosmic outlook on life. that nothing matters, so we should make the most out of what and who we love. in any other year this would've been my far and away fave. but then came:

NOPE: you guys follow me. you've heard it already. this movie ..... this..... FUCKING MOVIE.... haunted me from the moment i saw that chimp covered in blood. it scared me so bad i wasn't even sure if i liked it but then i thought and kept thinking AND I THOUGHT AND KEPT THINKING AND I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING this movie this god damn movie. it's a social commentary, it's a blockbuster popcorn hit, it's about animals, it's about people, it's a creature feature, it's funny, it's glorious to look at it's glorious and i love it so so much. Jean jacket really is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

GAMES:

VAMPIRE SURVIVORS: this game is like if you broke gaming down to it's purest chemical form and injected it directly into your bloodstream. it's a game that might be perfect in its simplicity. it's also really funny that i can be a stinky old garlic man, i like that a lot. it's free on mobile what are you waiting for.

HORIZON FORBIDDEN WEST: i feel so fucking bad for this series not once, but TWICE releasing at the same time as two of the greatest games literally ever made (i still have to beat elden ring oops) because i love these games SO MUCH! they scratch a very particular itch for me which is plenty of upgradable weapons/armor for me to chase, incredibly in depth lore, and post apocalyptic robot dinosaurs. literally no notes. i love games like this that're like "we know what you want. you want to kill a spinosaurus with a bow and arrow and afterwards treat yourself to some incredible American vistas, here, take it, enjoy." it's an incredibly Me game. probably my goty if measured by how much fun i had playing it.

ALBUMS:

BRONCO BY ORVILLE PECK: the biggie. life changer. this beat out pony for me. makes me wanna be a lonesome cowboy in the Rockies so fucking bad i can taste it. like....im already thiiiis close to being a lonesome cowboy in the Rockies and when i listen to curse of the blackened eye on my morning walk, looking at the snow capped mountains, I'm there. I'm a cowboy baby. also saw him live and sobbed he's insane, the talent, he's just showing off he's nuts.

LAST NIGHT IN THE BITTERSWEET BY PAOLO NUTINI: through the echoes specifically. came up randomly in a mixed playlist and swiveled my head so fucking fast. one of my favorite artist finds of the year.

NOPE OST BY MICHAEL ABELS: that's right bitch nope gets featured TWICE, idc!!!

DANCE FEVER BY FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: this is the album to finally get me into Florence + the machine, before i was just into the hits but this album.... King? FREE???? DAFFODIL???????? good god welch

THINGS IN GENERAL

mfucking!!!!!!!!!

FISH!!!!!!!!!! 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟💙💙💙💙✌️✌️✌️🥰🥰🥰🥰🐠🐠🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🦈🦈🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[immortalarizona]

another Road Trip to Hell update, because it's been a hot minute and oh boy, shit has gone DOWN

let's see. where Were we the last time I gave an update

ah yes. it was literally last week

see I lose track of time because so much goes down in the out-of-session rp channels I set up on the campaign discord

speaking of the oosrp, we handled most of Sloobludop via that anyways

I was a bit silly last Thursday and stayed up until 4:00 in the morning doing oosrp (I didn't have classes on Friday due to holiday reasons). everyone else stayed up except the artificer. it was funnier than it should have been when he messaged the chat the following morning like "GUYS WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED."

so basically

party arrives in Sloobludop. the fighter immediately wants to go tidepool-ing. most of the party joins her.

the rogue, after having a conversation with Jimjar where he basically tries to earn her trust back due to. y'know. Shenanigans, and is as obvious about his status as a deity as he can be without outright saying it. (he hands the rogue HIS OWN HOLY SYMBOL. this moment was hilarious for me as a dm), then realizes that "oh shit, we left Sarith and Stool unattended. Where Are They" and goes to find them

they are by the docks. Stool is playing in the water, and Sarith is chatting with them without rapport spores, because May I Remind Y'all that my Sarith is now a zombie plant man. this leads into me coming with an in-universe explanation for this on the fly, which leads into the concept of the "manymind" (except it was a lot more zalgo-ed when I sent it out in the Sarith reply, because I figured it's one of those concepts that doesn't translate quite right into words), which led to the rogue making contact via Stool with some part of the mind of Araumycos, and now like half the party is convinced that Stool is secretly gonna be the bbeg. all because of some silly lil zalgo text I added on impulse.

the ranger wound up going Dad Mode on Topsy and Turvy when Topsy's kleptomania almost got her in serious trouble in the Sloobludop market. it was very sweet.

but when the ranger returned to the tide pool with the twins in tow, that's when the party realizes that "oh shit, we left, like, everyone unattended, didn't we."

thus begins The Hunt For The Missing NPCs

and thus begins My Evil Shenaniganry

see. the party knew that Blopp's cult to Demogorgon was collecting humanoid sacrifices. so it's not like this came out of nowhere

the party also knew that Shuushar's idealism overrides his self-preservation instincts, Derendil fully believed he could fly at the moment and was bound to get himself into trouble if left unattended, and that Morwenna was very emotionally fucked up following her involvement with the death and resurrection of Sarith and was wandering off somewhere to go get hammered and have an emotional breakdown at the moment

in short

they knew that none of these NPCs were in a state, mental or otherwise, to defend themselves effectively should someone attempt to kidnap them

that someone being none other than members of the cult of the Deep Father

the ranger and the fighter look for Morwenna, because out of those three, she's the only one they really care about, hence why I put her in this situation. they do not find her. I have the ranger roll a survival check to see if he can track Morwenna's scent trail (this was how he found the twins earlier, for the record). he rolls, like, a 21. internally, I rejoice

because where does the trail lead, but right to the area with the altars

I rule that the trail vanishes there, buried by the stench of muck and blood

the ranger talks to one of the kuo-toa whips there (I don't remember his name and I can't be bothered to check lmao) and receives a reply which heavily implies that Morwenna is going to be sacrificed to the Deep Father very soon

cue the panic from my players

and the explicit threats of violence from their characters

(for context. the fighter and the ranger are both in love with Morwenna. the rogue is to but that is not relevant to this particular predicament at the moment)

so the fighter rolls strength (intimidation) to hit the ground and try to crack it. she rolls, like, a fucking 23

I rule that the resulting noise is enough to get the attention of the bard and the rogue, who were off fetching Sarith and Stool (the fungus bros were staring at the fungi on the walls and being generally unsettling). they run over

it is 10:00 PM. I do not wish to run a combat encounter over discord chat, and neither do my players. unfortunately, the most in-character course of action for most of them right now is Violence. the bard is our last hope, both in- and out-of-character.

the bard takes the whip guy behind the altar to have a little chat. he returns not long afterwards, having acquired information about the ritual taking place at midnight and also freaked the whip guy the fuck out. (no one else knows it but me and his player, because we conducted that part over dms, but the bard got to use one of his College of Whispers features for the first time. it was delightful for me as a dm)

violence has not been averted, but it has been delayed. the party heads back to camp to regroup. emotional breakdowns are had, including that banger of a conversation where my last Campaign Art came from. (for context, the ranger gave the twins hand crossbows for purposes of self-defense, and the rogue accused him of trying to turn them into child soldiers.) it is almost midnight. my players and I are all riding an immense adrenaline high

the rogue and the fighter head away from camp and end up resolving most of the Morwenna-centric tension between them. (Morwenna's romantic situation is a Whole Fucking Mess that we will unpack later, don't worry!!)

the ranger reveals to the bard that he died while hunting a demon alongside Drizzt Do'Urden and had to claw himself free from his own grave after something living in his head brought him back

also the bard and the ranger begin flirting almost immediately afterwards (the ranger took his shirt off to show the bard his scars)

this is the moment that Sarith decides it would be a great idea to shoot his shot. it was not, in fact, a good moment

the ranger has his second emotional breakdown of the hour, because he is still plagued by guilt for his participation in the death and resurrection of Sarith. the twins and Sarith give the ranger hugs

and then Sarith asks if he can kiss the ranger. the ranger says no. Sarith goes to mope in a corner and pretend everything is fine while the ranger teaches the twins about the importance of consent while cuddling under the blanket the artificer knitted him

the rogue and the fighter go to Plooploopeen's house to bully him for information so they can rescue Morwenna. I get to deliver exposition, a kickass monologue of emotional foreshadowing, as well as two potions of healing and a potion of water breathing to the party

the party's long rest finishes. it's like 10:00 PM in-game, about two hours until the ritual begins. Jimjar has snuck off to do fuck knows what (only later does the party discover that he used his innate disguise self capabilities to infiltrate the cult's stronghold in Blopp's hovel and grab Morwenna's hammer and shield). I ask the party if they have any final preparations they want to make.

and then the actual session begins.

yes

all this happened between sessions

tbh I'm glad it did. a) it means less time with the stupid voice-destroying kuo-toa voice I attempted the session before, and b) it meant that we could kick off the session with the Good Stuff

aka VIOLENCE

(to be continued in a reblog because tumblr hates me)

[jmagnabo92]

CBS Ghosts - Pilot - Sam sees Ghosts

AHHHH it’s the end of the pilot - Where Sam Sees the Ghosts and The Ghosts get excited.  

Discussion and Gifs - may contain Spoilers below:

I love that Jay looks so proud and Happy as the guys get to work - noticed that the man ordering people around call some of them “roofers” so like - they had roofers, but didn’t fix that over the fountain?

ANYWAY, adore Sam looking around in awe.  I’m glad that she isn’t traumatized by the place (’cause that would’ve been bad) and instead is SO THRILLED to be there and see a dream come true.

Sam, you have no idea how much this dream come true really is. :)

LMAO - Trevor just awkwardly standing out of the way when Sam talks to him.  He was just expecting to see that she was okay, and he’s smiling at her even though he doesn’t expect her to see him.  It’s kind of sweet.

And he’s such a puppy that he gets excited that she compliments of him.  

He’s so cute in this scene - me, you chose me?  Heart eyes.  Poor boy.

I love that it takes him a second to realize what it means - like at first, he’s like “Wait, you’re talking to me” then “aw she likes me” then “shit - she talked to me - she saw me - holy fuck, must tell the others!”

And goes running.  

Interesting question - do you think Trevor (aside from his pants) is the worst secret keeper of the bunch?  He doesn’t seem to hesitate to share this while I could see Sass being like “how can I make this fun by NOT sharing this?”

Well, it took all of ten seconds for the happiness that Sam’s okay to be thinking about themselves.

We love our selfish ghosts :)

At least, Hetty looks torn.

I love that they’re putting Thor and Pete next to each other.  They’ve got such a different perspective on things - excitement vs boredom in Alberta’s singing scene and here where Pete’s like “Boo Hotel, but they were here for a day and I missed them” while Thor is like “Clutter, damnit, Clutter!”

It’s so vastly different and the FUN thing is that Thor is the oldest ghost, so he knows what it’s like to have all that activity in the house, while Pete’s the 2nd youngest and he hasn’t experienced the full house (as far as we know) - Sophie’s been ill most of Trevor’s time there, and when Pete died, it seem like there wasn’t much activity then.  

Trevor’s so cute here.  He’s so excited to tell them - and he’s clearly hoping this will ease things with Hetty, so he looks to the right where Hetty is when he says “Sam seems to like me” - underlying tone - you should like me too.

Also Where the F are Alberta and Sass.  This is a big moment - they were literally there like MINUTES prior.  

LMAO - dude with no pants raises his arms and doesn’t notice because he’s too excited.  

Let’s look at these reactions:

Thor - Stares.  

Pete - glances away and tells Trevor to put his hands down.

Flower - is trying to look closer (Wow Flower).

Hetty - grabs onto to Isaac for assurance and looks down and away after a second

Isaac - kind of tilts his head, interested.  

LMAO  they are so funny.  I wish we’d seen Alberta and Sass’ responses here.  Although we did see Sass look up when Trevor gives his pants and underwear away in TP.

Side note - knowing that the actor is wearing special underwear and came up with this joke makes this even funnier.

Awwww, Jay painted the room the color she wanted.  It’s so sweet - also how the F did the ghosts not notice Jay doing all this work???  

Anyway, Jam is so so cute here - too bad, Sam’s about to get freaked the hell out.

AWW HETTY IS THE FIRST - Straight through the wall/closet?  Hetty’s so obvious as a ghost and probably argued that as the Lady of the House and Sam’s relative that she be first.

I can imagine Isaac arguing as the leader (captain) he should be first.  Hence, his walking in through the door second.

I love how Jay’s just like “Yeah, a lot of yellow, but it’ll grow on you.”

Because he assumes that’s the problem.

It’s interesting that Sass, Trevor and Pete all walk in at slightly a second behind each other and together.  Wonder how they decided that.  

Finally, Alberta, Flower and Thor.  It’s interesting that they stand a distance away, Hetty still the closest.  

Also, Love how Sam’s trying to rationalize.  She did believe somewhat in ghosts for ages (hence the sage), but like it’s one thing to ‘believe’ and another to see it.  

Aw, poor Jay - he’s just like ... it’s paint, babe.  What’s the problem.  Sam and Jay are completely having two different discussions.

Trevor and Pete as the youngest ghost have this conversation - they’re SO happy to have the possibility of Sam seeing them.  

Awww, Jay is so cute - “I’m your husband, remember?”

How long has Isaac had this speech prepared and has he ever gotten to finish it???

OOOOH, interesting Flower begins to look somewhat sad when Isaac says “poor spirits” - I feel like she might be the only one that doesn’t talking about this being ‘purgatory’ that she wants to escape from.  Or maybe I’m reading that look wrong.

Poor Sam, That’s a terribly scary thing to happen.  How did she not run for the hills??? I would’ve.

Anyway END OF PILOT!

Woohoo!  Feel free to discuss and reblog :). 

[fasterthanmydemons]

[ Speedster of the Galaxy ]

Mantis smiled when Pietro stated he would be okay with Groot painting his face, saying he would just pretend to be asleep. “That’s really sweet. I know looking over a child is probably not what you expected or wanted when you joined the team, but Groot is good. He is very curious and friendly, he is always making up constellations. We raise him together.” And that made her happy. Mantis was glad she could help give Groot the light-hearted, happy childhood she couldn’t have.

“He likes it!” Mantis echoed Pietro’s words as Mr. Dibbles devoured the dandelion. She beamed, laughing and clapping cheerfully. Dandelions were delicious, so it was no wonder he liked them so much. She looked at Pietro as he explained why Rocket brought up Ego, and while a part of her did feel a little upset that Rocket revealed things about herself, she knew he meant well and wanted to give Pietro context to help him understand Mantis a little better. “Oh, you are not boneheaded. You meant no harm by it. It was an honest mistake.”

A sudden laughter bubbled up out of her when Pietro said Rocket mentioned that the Guardians had seen each other’s butts. Placing a hand over her abdomen, Mantis laughed harder as she realized they probably looked like a combination between a group of outcasts and a cult. But what made it funnier was how unbothered Pietro seemed by it. “Yes, we do feel a little too comfortable around each other. Some of us more than others. I mean, Drax walks around shirtless all the time,” she remarked. “When you travel the galaxy, at some point you treat everything like it is natural. Life in space requires you to have your guard up, so we let it down around each other.”

She smiled as Pietro tried to translate the name of Groot’s species. “Do not worry, your Latin is fine. It is actually my first language. I grew up speaking it. It was the language Ego spoke, although he spoke all languages; he was millions of years old and therefore had plenty of time to learn. It is an ancient tongue, far more ancient than people think. Ego means ‘I’ or 'me’, so I always had to refer to myself in third person. Instead of 'I’ or 'me’, I would say 'Mantis’ or 'this one’. Only Ego was allowed to have a sense of self.” Mantis said, her tone matter-of-fact. She wrung her hands a little. “If you ever wish to improve your Latin, you can let me know. I will be happy to help you.”

Mantis laughed once again, amused, as Mr. Dibbles tried to get to the other dandelions. His tenacity was worthy of respect. “He is so cute!” She nodded when Pietro asked if she was sure she was okay with the turtle eating her plants. “Of course! People usually need patience to grow their plants, so they feel bad when something happens to them because they had to invest time and effort.” Mantis touched the dandelions with her hand, and the other plants curled around it, begged for her touch. Her antennae started to glow with a dim light. “But I can simply do this.” Just like that, more dandelions grew, blooming just as bright, just as yellow, and Mantis plucked them, gleefully offering Pietro the bouquet, a feast for his turtle. “It is easy.” Despite the light of her antennae fading away, her face still lit up, happy to help this hungry little being. She blinked when Pietro asked if she would like to hold Mr. Dibbles after he was clean. “Oh, but… do you really trust me with him? You are so protective of him already.” Given that Pietro had lost his freedom on his home planet and the closeness with his sister, Mantis didn’t want him to feel like his turtle would be taken from him. However, she smiled, wondering what Mr. Dibbles’ actual colors looked like. “But I must admit, perhaps it would be nice. He is adorable.”

(Holy shit no wonder Noah feels he’s “less” than Basch, given that belief that the second twin should be killed. And ugh yeah, I wish they could include some of the deleted scenes. That’s why I consider them canon for Mantis + I add stuff from the comics like her plant manipulation, astral projection - though my headcanon is that she’s only able to astral project post-IW, after she was in contact with Thanos’ mind - and she also has precognitive abilities in the comics. I’m still not sure how to integrate that into her MCU self. Maybe as a result of that one thread where she calms Stephen’s fractured mind, since he guards the Time Stone? :o If you’re cool with that of course, since that’s your Stephen. I want to relate it to the Time Stone somehow since it would be logical. Also, happy belated birthday, Silence! <3)

__________

{ Well, all I know of Mantis I learned from IW and EG, and I can say that all the abilities you’ve given her seem to fit her well and all seem equally appropriate for her, whether they’re canon MCU or comic or otherwise. But then, you already knew what a fan I was of your Mantis, so... ;) And I love the idea of her gaining precognitive abilities from delving into Stephen’s dumpster fire of a mind! Go for it! I think it’s a very creative idea in the first place that she sort of gains new abilities or unlocks different potentials she has after interacting with other people’s minds. It makes a lot of sense that someone as empathic as Mantis wouldn’t be able to encounter other minds, especially ones that are very powerful or that have their own unique abilities, without coming away a bit changed. Very creative, I love it. And thank you! I feel so old, lol. XD }__

Did he seem like someone who didn’t like being around children? Pietro wondered as Mantis seemed to start apologizing in a way for Groot adding an unexpected child presence on the ship and among the Guardians. “I don’t mind him at all,” he said, shaking his head. “I like children. I used to play with the children in Sokovia. They liked me because I could run and get wayward balls and toys and things that got away from them and bring them back really fast.” His smile faded a bit then. “Too bad that by the time I got really fast... Sokovia didn’t exist anymore. But I hope wherever they are, they are safe and happy.”

Pietro chose not to argue with Mantis when she said he wasn’t boneheaded. If he was being honest, he felt awfully boneheaded so far, and he hadn’t even been on the ship for very long at all. But Rocket had also told him not to share as much and to keep things to himself so as not to upset Mantis, so he decided to focus on Mr. Dibbles instead. “I think you have made a friend for life,” he said, smiling. “He definitely likes these flowers. He made that one disappear pretty fast,” he said, watching the turtle with a chuckle. “He may be slow on his feet, but he is fast eater. Who says turtles need to be slow at everything?”

He had to admit that he was a little jealous of just how comfortable all the guardians were with each other. He wished he could have had the same with the Avengers, or with anyone, really. Well, besides Wanda, but he wasn’t with her anymore, and that was making him feel like he didn’t belong anywhere or with anyone. Never in his life had he felt more displaced and alone, but instead of wallowing in a bad mood, he was trying to let the Guardians bond cheer him up, even if he couldn’t be a part of it. “Is nice. To be that comfortable. I am happy for you all,” he said with a smile that was perhaps just a little bit sad. “Is good to be able to let your guard down sometimes, especially when your work is really stressful. So for you guys, home is not a place, it’s people. Is very nice.” His home used to be Wanda, but she had Vision now and was moving on from him.

“Oh yeah? Well you speak very good English for it not being your first language. Mine still needs work. Not many people speak my languages, though, so I try to speak English. Wanda is better at it than I am, though.” He really needed to stop mentioning Wanda. She wasn’t with him anymore, and he needed to find a way to move on without her. That was something he never thought he would have to do, and didn’t want to do, but right now he didn’t have much of a choice. At Mantis’ offer of helping him to learn better Latin, Pietro smiled again. “That would be cool. I would like that. But only if you were comfortable doing that. I don’t want to upset you again. You are very nice person and I don’t want to make you nervous or sad or anything like that. I can be a difficult student because learning from books has always been hard for me, but I would like to try if you are up for it.”

“Hey!” Pietro exclaimed with childlike excitement as Mantis made more dandelions grow. “That is really cool!” He’d never known anyone else with Mantis’ abilities before, at least with regard to plants. It seemed to him to be a really useful skill, being able to make plants grow much faster than they would naturally. “To be honest, now that I’ve got him up here in space, I am little bit worried about having enough food for him. But if you can make these grow, maybe he will be okay until I can get some supplies and things for him, yeah?”

Mr. Dibbles was absolutely delighted by the sudden appearance of more dandelions. Did it make sense? No. But also did he care? No, he was a turtle. Unexplained dandelions were just as delicious as ones that made sense to him. If a turtle’s eyes could light up, Mr. Dibbles’ definitely did at the sight of an entire bouquet of dandelions in his human’s hand. Maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad to stay here after all. If he could just get all this crusty mud off. Mud was okay, but once it dried, it got weirdly itchy and constructing, and Mr. Dibbles wasn’t having it.

“Of course I trust you with him. I can show you how to hold him so is no problem. You are so gentle with living things, and you were so nice to him just now, that I know he is safe with you,” Pietro said, trying to encourage Mantis. “I’m sure he would be happy to have more friends and not always be stuck with me all the time. Especially friends that understand his dining choices,” he added with a chuckle. “But okay, I should go and help him get clean now. You can help, if you want, but otherwise I’ll get him clean and then tomorrow you can hold him. Okay?”

[cosmicjoke]

“... I tried to grant her fondest wish, that she should have the body of a woman, a fit shape for the tragic dimension of her soul.

Well, in my clumsy alchemy, slicing heads from bodies and stumbling to transplant one to another, I failed...

Let me say here, she was herself again, hideously wounded, a botched reassemblage of the angelic child she’d been before my attempts, when she was locked out in the brutal morning to meet her death with a clear mind.  The fire of Heaven destroyed the awful  unhealed evidence of my Satanic surgery as it turned her to a monument in ash.  No evidence remained of her last hours within the torture chamber of my makeshift laboratory.  No one need ever have known what I say now.

For many a year, she haunted me.  I could not strike from my mind the faltering image of her girlish head and tumbling curls fixed awkwardly with gross black stitching to the flailing, faltering and falling body of a female vampire whose discarded head I’d thrown into the fire.

Ah, what a grand disaster was that, the child-headed monster woman unable to speak, dancing in a frenetic circle, the blood gurgling from her shuddering mouth, her eyes rolling, arms flapping like the broken bones of invisible wings. 

It was a truth I vowed to conceal forever from Louis de Pointe du Lac and all whoever questioned me.  Better let them think that I had condemned her without trying to effect her escape, both from the vampires of the theater and from the wretched dilemma of her small, enticing, flat-chested and silken-skinned angelic form.

She was not fit for deliverance after the failure of my butchery; she was as a prisoner subjected to the cruelty of the rack who can only smile bitterly and dreamily as she is led, torn and miserable, to the final horror of the stake.  She was as a hopeless patient, in the reeking antiseptic death cubicle of a modern hospital, freed at last from the hands of youthful and overzealous doctors, to give up the ghost on a white pillow alone.

Enough.  I won’t relive it.

I will not.

I never loved her.  I didn’t know how.

I carried out my schemes in chilling detachment and with fiendish pragmatism.  Being condemned and therefore being nothing and no one, she was a perfect specimen for my whim.  That was the horror of it, the secret horror which eclipsed any faith I might have pleaded later in the high-blown courage of my experiments.  And so the secret remained with me, with Armand, who had witnessed centuries of unspeakable and refined cruelties, a story unfit for the tender ears of a desperate Louis, who could never have borne such descriptions of her degradation or suffering, and who did not truly, in his soul, survive her death, cruel as it was.”

God damn, Armand.  I know Lestat’s done some fucked up shit, but this takes the cake for worst thing, lol.  Holy shit.  If you ever needed evidence that Armand wasn’t in a good place mentally when Lestat came to see him, welllll...

Like, dude, you could’ve just given her a bunch of cash and told her to get outta’ dodge, lol.  I feel so much for Armand, I truly do.  He’s far and away had the most difficult life of any of the vampires in this series, but even he’s calling out his reasoning here for why he did this to Claudia, that he was trying to rescue her from her fate as a child vampire, admitting that no, truly, he just wanted to fuck her up, and the fact she was condemned to death was the perfect excuse for him to do it. 

Now you know why the other vampires are scared of this mofo, lol.  This makes it infinitely funnier with the people trying to claim Armand as some wilting innocent sweetheart who’s better for Louis than Lestat.  Like, no, lol, Armand is not well. 

God though, poor Claudia.  Louis should’ve listened to her man.  But nope, he didn’t, and this is the result. 

[strangesmallbard]

okay here are my thoughts on most of the kassandra romances in ac odyssey:

odessa: incredible friends with benefits energy. she’s also shady and overly confident, traits i love in a woman. nothing much here, but a solid first romance. 6/10

roxana: their scene on the mountain is SO sweet and fun, also peak friends with benefits vibes with a hint of something more. 7/10

lykaon: if you’re into soft dudes, he’s pretty soft. not my cuppa, but not offensive. 5/10

daphnae: the sheer concept of a daughter of artemis falling for the warrior woman destined to take her place is fucking incredible, but i was craving more relationship development onscreen. 6/10

anais: childhood best friends to lovers to friends with history because our differences are irreconcilable my BELOVED! i loved how regular and grounded this romance felt. it was nice to see someone love kassandra for who she is, and accept that she can’t be everything too. and kassandra is SUCH a dad. 10/10

those two brothers added later on: in my lesbian onion, these quests are much funnier if you don’t like either of them. kassandra is just like “oh sweet, free brothers!” followed by “oh brother” when they declare their love.

alkibiades: he’s the only dude i had kassandra sleep with because there is nothing heterosexual about this relationship. bisexual 4 bisexual energy is off the CHARTS. men get pegged, etc. 8/10

diona: she could not have been less subtle about being a cultist, but she was very hot. this is the exact mental process i gave kassandra. 7/10

kyra: holy shit, i am devastated by this romance and the entire mykonos arc. when kyra throws a KNIFE at her head, and kassandra immediately falls in love. i think she’s one of the few options where kassandra clearly has romantic feelings, so the ending hits like a sack of bricks. 10/10

thaletas: i killed this man. 0/10

brasidas: not an actual romance, but an honorable mention because of the popularity. idk guys i don’t see it at all! they give me major siblings or uncle & niece vibes. i think kassandra trauma dumps because every older spartan guy is dadcoded to her. 0/10

natakas: look, i don’t hate natakas. he’s fine out of context. perfectly inoffensive. he has a nice face. however, i cannot get over the forced heterosexuality and birth situation! it leaves the worst taste in my mouth! i literally haven’t played ac odyssey since i found out! -5/10, i’m sorry natakas you’re very nice but get out of my house right now

aspasia: the biggest missed opportunity of this entire game. i am so disappointed by the last scene in the cult arc because like, aspasia disappears! we have no emotional connection to her! imagine if they had several run-ins during the main quest. imagine if aspasia actively helped you hunt the other cultists. imagine if ubisoft committed to her gaslight gatekeep girlbossing. i wanted unhealthy emotional attachment! i wanted manipulation! that kiss at the end should have HIT. anyway 10/10 the concept in my head, 2/10 the actual romance

[dirtyoldmanhole]

last actual endgame level thoughts (fair warning i'm a bit snarky/don't hold back, putting this one under the cut).

edit: and finished!

.... ohhhhhh that's where the attempt at pathos was (corrin's little dream sequence.)

why is it that the one person corrin has the most genuine chemistry with in CQ is lilith. if there was more to that dream sequence i genuinely would ship those two... kind of already do ngl.... she straight up says she loves corrin... swear to god corrin only has chemistry if it's like high key incesty lmaoooooooo. (so far i genuinely ship corrin with camilia/gunter/lilith LOL).

the 'everybody tells corrin to come back to the living' is. hm. i feel like it would have hit better if you only did characters corrin had an A or S rank support with. waiting for everyone to say their bit was like ... a bit corny.....

i'm. hm. yeah conquest endgame so far isn't doing anything for me (either character/map/plot wise). i'm kind of chuckling irl that everyone was all 'rev sucks, conquest is the best story' and i'm all 'conquest eh, rev GIGACHAD BRAIN' 'this is why i didn't get into fates for ages lol, all the krad brait shit was never talked about' as a secondary thought

takumi's last level map design + cg slightly slaps tho. this should have been in the vallite king level tooooooooooooooo

in the best faith attempt approach, i feel like .... conquest endgame probably would slap emotionally if you were into like, takumi/ryoma/xander/leo which is probably 80% of the players. so i can totally see why they'd sleepwalk through rev's last levels like i'm doing here.

post takumi:

LMAOOOOOOOO THE MEAN OLD GUNTER LINE

FUCK I WAS IRL CACKLING

god i was waiting for that, that scene specifically did not miss if only in sheer wtf???? hilarity

hinoka even going 'man i would have cried at that lecture' and 'oh it wasn't that bad it was only a minute or two!!!' from elise

(that scene is x100 funnier if you married him and headcanon that everyone knew ngl)

god i unironically love the bit where corrin head-collided right into camilia's tits in the very last gaddang scene. fuck. that was so derpy/dirty/hysterical? also #big bi mood

(okay seriously though: rev did so much better with the pathos in the crowning ceremony. this route felt like the funny outtakes version? just really weird vibes ngl. i cannot imagine hinoka or sakura being that jokey/lighthearted considering both of their brothers were just killed by corrin and it's just. eeeeech. )

but yeah.

in a nutshell.

i'm glad i finished conquest for completionist's sake but holy hell the vibe of this whole route is [krad on hands and knees thanking the heavens i finished revelation first].