#this is the funniest guy to tag for because. haha yeah that sure is

[hershelwidget]

guys idk i think this might be the captain

hey side note has barnacles seemed happier lately? yeah i think he’s just smiling a lot more. good for him

closeup of his big ol grin because he put a lot of effort in. he brushed his teeth and flossed just for this photo guys look at that award winning smile. hey does anyone else feel dizzy and li

[jokertrap-ran]

[スタオケ] La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra Main Story Chapter 1 (HARD-2) Translation

*Starlight Orchestra Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Main story tag will be #Main Starlight *T/N: guys I swear if this guy's like Tono from Corda3 IM GONNA CRY (´；ω；`)ｳｯ…

???: ~♪ ~~♪

???: …Hm?

???: …Heh.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

???: …Oh, the rain stopped. I didn’t notice.

???: Hello. This is the first time we’ve met, right?

???: What’s wrong? You look baffled to see me… Do I have something on my face?

⊳ Choice: The weather’s been clear all-day

???: Huh? Really? ???: …I see. Yeah, it might have been. It’s definitely a possibility.

⊳ Choice: It’s dangerous to be sitting there like that

???: What? Why? Isn’t this place safe? ???: …Ohh, because I might fall off? Haha, I see. ???: Sorry, it’s just been a long time since someone told me something like that, but you’re right. It’d be bad if I did fall.

???: You’re a student from Seiso Academy, right? You look like you’re from general ed, but you play the violin?

???: How did I know? Ahaha! You ask the funniest things. I mean, you’re wearing the school uniform, aren’t you?

???: Plus, I play the violin too, so I can tell a violin case when I see one.

???: This city’s great. It’s overflowing with music.

???: What about you? What kind of musical activity are you involved in?

⊳ Choice: The Starlight Orchestra…

???: Starlight…? Mmhm, that’s a great name. A collection of stars that twinkle ever so brightly in the night sky.

⊳ Choice: I’m starting up the best Orchestra this world has seen

???: Wow, that’s gutsy! Sounds like you have really big dreams… ???: I see. So you’re aiming to be the best one, huh. And you seem pretty serious about it too.

???: You held a concert today, didn’t you? Heh, it must have been a brilliant one. It’s written all over your face.

???: I guess the next thing on the list would be to gather members for the Orchestra… but, wow. I can’t believe you’re really building up an Orchestra from scratch.

⊳ Choice: Try recruiting him

???: Me? Oh, right, I did mention that I play the violin. ???: Hmm… Sorry, but I don’t think the time’s quite right. ???: But if you truly insist on having me, then perhaps the possibility of it coming true might become reality someday.

⊳ Choice: Invite him to the next concert

???: The next concert? But you haven’t yet decided on the venue or the date it’s going to be held on, right? ???: …Haha, I knew it. Thank you for inviting me, though. ???: Well, how about you invite me again another time? I’ll attend if I can make it, and the possibility of me attending your concert might very well be true.

???: You’re going to go on a trip after this aren’t you? A journey to find more friends.

???: I’m sure you’ll be able to open a world of possibilities.

???: I can’t wait to see what new possibilities await you as you reach out to them amongst the field of flowers. I’m sure they will bloom beautifully in your hands.

???: Say, won’t you share stories about your journeys with me again next time?

⊳ Choice: Sure

???: Brilliant. I can’t wait to hear more about your next adventure. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of stories to tell if you’re going to be taking your music countrywide.

⊳ Choice: Share your stories with me too

???: I’m not much of a storyteller, but if you insist then, then perhaps I could.

???: Come by this place again sometime, won’t you? I’m sure we’ll meet again when the time comes.

???: My name’s Seto Mashiro, and I play music.

Seto: …

⊳ Choice: Did you hear that sound…

Seto: Did I? Are you sure you’re not just imagining things?

Seto: Oh dear… It’s going to get dark out soon.

Seto: It’s dangerous to be out and about alone that late. Besides, you might also invite unsavory things by doing so.

Seto: You might end up wandering into the world of the supernatural…

Seto: Well, do take care on your way back.

Seto: See you next time, (L/n)-san.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬Main Starlight♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Previous Part: (Chapter 1 HARD-1)

[strangelysamantha]

pogues x female reader where she doesn’t know how to swim so they all tease her because she has to wear a life jacket

life jackets ❀

pogues x fem!reader.

warnings: reader can’t swim, mostly jokes but can be offensive, swearing, otherwise a cute fluff.

words: 1,090.

summary: since you don’t know how to swim, you have to wear a life jacket. the pogues think it’s the funniest thing ever.

request? yea!!!

a/n: i don’t know how to swim because i get too anxious and then i almost drown lol. thanks for the relatable request! like and comment if you enjoyed. :)

my masterlist

——————————————————————————

“wait, you actually don’t know how to swim?” jj asks you. your cheeks flush, and you stay quiet. “i swear, i thought that was just some weird inside joke.” he continues. you slap his arm. “it’s not funny, okay? i’ve tried on multiple different occasions to try and learn how to swim, and for some reason it’s never stuck.” the group in front of you laughs.

john b abruptly stops laughing, “holy shit you have to wear a life jacket!” he breaks out into a fit of hysteria, causing the others to copy him. you playfully frown, pouting. “no! you can’t make me!” you shake your head, crossing your arms. “you have to wear it! we love you, we wouldn’t want you to drown and die!” pope spoke up, staring at you. you roll your eyes, “i won’t drown if i don’t even go in the water.” kiara nods, “that’s true.”

you smile, “thank you kie.” she tilts her head, “too bad you are going in the water.” kiara shrugs. you throw your head back in defeat, “fine i’ll wear the life jacket but you guys better not laugh.” jj shrugs, “no promises.” john b smiles, “it just depends on how funny you look.” you can’t fight the grin on your face, “y’all, shut up and just hand me the stupid vest.” pope interrupts you, “it’s a LIFE jacket, hence, it will SAVE your LIFE. it’s not a vest. two vastly different things.” you glare at him, “i’m very aware, thank you pope.” he grins, “anytime.”

you exhale dramatically, kiara laughing. “you’ll be okay, jokes aside it’s not a big deal. your safety is more important.” you nod at her reassuring words. “okay.” john b comes back with a bright yellow life jacket. “are you kidding me?” your arms cross over your chest. john b and jj stifle a laugh. “what? we got you the life jacket like you asked.” john b spoke up, handing it to you. “i wanted a life jacket, not a construction worker's vest.” you stare at the brightly colored jacket.

“people will see me from eighty feet away.” you complain. kiara stares at you, “yay! that means you’ll be even safer!” you scoff at her words, “okay… fine.” you accept your fate. “i’ll meet you guys on the boat, i’m going to change and put this on.” kiara stays back with you, the three boys walking to the boat.

“i can try and teach you to swim, it’s worth a shot.” you softly smile, “sure, we can always try.” she giggles, “if you are really embarrassed to wear it, i’ll wear one with you.” you shake your head, “no it’s okay, seriously. i wouldn’t want to put you through that.” kiara looks away, “okay. well, i’ll leave you alone so you can get dressed. i’ll be on the boat.” you hum in response, grabbing your swimsuit and heading to the bathroom.

you put your swimsuit on, but struggle with the life jacket. you frown, already embarrassed, but even more so, now that you couldn’t even put it on correctly. after a few minutes, you finally figure it out. you sigh, leaving the bathroom.

you walk out the door, and onto the porch. you start to head in the direction of the HMS pogue. your eyes focusing on the ground. when you arrive at the boat, jj cheers. “you made it!” you roll your eyes, “yeah, hopefully people don’t mistake my yellow vest as a submarine.” you look up and a large smile finds your lips.

in front of you sat your dearest friends, all four of them wearing a bright yellow life jacket. “guys! you all are too sweet.” you hop onto the boat, pulling them into a hug. “we didn’t want you to feel left out.” john b was messing with one of his straps. “yeah, it’s just me, as usual, having the best ideas.” jj cockily mentioned. you glance over at pope who was rolling his eyes. “jj you only get good ideas twice a year, every other idea of yours is bad.” you laugh at popes words. “get him!”

jj scoffs, “so is everyone just against me?” you softly push his shoulder, “no one is against you, maybe john b, but not us.” your arms wrap around kiara and pope, you pull the two of them closer to you. john b interrupts you, “hey! i’m not against jj! don’t say that!” kiara adds, “we aren’t against you, we just love bullying you.” kiara glanced at jj, expecting a dramatic response to her words, but jj stayed calm. “well, glad to know none of you are after me.”

“are you guys ready to swim?” john b speaks up, parking the boat. “sure…” you hesitate. kiara rubs your shoulder, “you got this!” she grabs your hand, interlocking her hands in yours. “on the count of three, we’re gonna jump. okay?” she asks. you nod, “okay!” she starts counting, “one… two… three!” the two of you jump off the boat, the life jackets causing you to automatically float to the surface. the boys jump in after you.

“look at us, swimming and shit!” jj yells out. “yeah!” you respond, half preoccupied since kiara and pope had teamed up against you, splashing you with water. “jj! john b! join me, you’re on my team!” john b and jj swim to you, joining you in the splashing battle. your team overpowers kiara and pope. “haha, losers!” you jokingly splash them one last time. “fine, the three or you win, we were outnumbered though.” kiara stares at you. “true, kiara is right. we were outnumbered.” pope continued, “rematch?” you jokingly push him, “no way! you just need to be careful with who you go up against!”

jj floated beside you, defending you. “she’s right, you are the ones who picked the battle.” pope groaned, “whatever… i’ll be a sore loser somewhere else.” pope swam away, kiara following him. a second goes by before john b and jj tag team you, pushing you under the water. you spring back up, “WHAT?” you scream out, pointing at both john b and jj. “I THOUGHT WE WERE A TEAM!” they chuckle, “you thought wrong!” jj smirks menacingly at you, “watch your back!!” you swim away, pretending to escape john b and jj.

after an hour of swimming, the group was done for the day. you enjoyed swimming, despite the bulky life jacket. you now felt comfortable enough to wear the jacket, so many more days like this were sure to come.

<3

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[wonwoosthetic]

Get To Know Me

While you guys can still fill this out:

Get To Know You

I thought, in the meantime, I’d answer the questions you have left me so far, so you can get to know me a little bit better too!🤗 I’m not going to publish the questions directly but I’m just going to introduce myself by answering them in a text, I hope that’s okay!♥️

I’m Maddie, I’m 20 and live in Austria :) I’m currently studying English and Literature at university because I absolutely love the English language and I read A LOT😅 it’s not my dream course but it will do for now. I’m going to apply for a film university in January/February to study either Screenwriting or Production (depending on which one I get into) because it has always been a dream of mine to write my own film or tv show one day… big dream, I know… we’ll see where that goes

I got into Kpop through a friend who showed me an NCT and GOT7 music video (NCT’s Make A Wish, literally the day it came out, and GOT7 Not By The Moon, I think it was). I immediately fell in love with the visual of the music video itself and the flow of the music. Obviously I found the guys extremely attractive too😅 and I fell in love with Jaebeom’s voice right away🥰. So yeah, I haven’t been a Kpop stan for too long but I’m very passionate about it.

Fun Fact: when I found Exo and iKon, I realised that I had been listening to their songs without realising it was Kpop, haha. I used to listen to iKon kinda a lot I guess because I already knew most of their songs without knowing about them.

The first group that I really really got into was GOT7. I still think they are one of the funniest groups that has ever existed and it’s the saddest thing ever that they could have become so much bigger if it weren’t for jay why pee. I also got into EXO pretty quickly and I still really like them but with there not being much content, it’s hard to keep with them regularly, but I listen to their music all the time and at least three songs are always in my monthly playlists. After GOT7 got free in January, I’ve started focusing more on their solo stuff (ESPECIALLY JAYB AND YUGYEOM BC I LOVE THE KRNB AND KHH SCENE) and I love it!!! I found Seventeen very quickly after getting into Kpop, thanks to the Tag episode and Minghao😂 Again: once I heard some of their songs, I really felt like I’ve heard them before, especially Left & Right and Home… maybe I have, maybe it’s just my brain playing tricks on me, but the seemed so familiar and that’s actually also what drew me so much into them. The feeling of familiarity and comfort these 13 men radiate is like nothing I’ve ever seen or experienced. I went through a very tough time throughout my teenage life and honestly, I’m not sure where I would be now if it wasn’t for these guys (as well as Exo, GOT7, iKon, and many more!) being able to distract me and make me laugh and be happy… sounds cliché but it’s crazy how much music can effect and help people!

Biases? Oh god… I know I asked you to tell me about yours but choosing my own is SO HARD😅 so, first of all: definitely Wonwoo. I admired him from the start because I relate to him in a lot of ways. Minghao is definitely also one of them, as well as Jeonghan and Hoshi has been testing me a lot in the past few weeks… Mingyu too… that’s the life of a Carat I guess :) from other groups: Chanyeol, Hanbin, Bobby, Jaebeom, Yeji, Jennie, Rosé, Jin (only based on Run BTS), Soobin, Yeonjun, Sunwoo, Sangyeon, Chanhee, Sejun

There’s so many more probably😂

Talking about biases, talking about Hanbin: Minnie and the (ex) love of her life… well, unless you’re following the Alternative Ending, then it is the love of her life🤗 I based Minnie kinda off of me in some aspects because I knew that if I do that, I’ll be able to write her the best way I can because I’m just writing about what I’d do and think and stuff :) now why B.I? For one: he deserves the world and if I can give him happiness in the story, then I will. Also, Jennie and Hanbin got shipped kinda a lot I guess, so there are a lot of pictures I was and will be able to use. And yes, I’m an iKonic too! :)

About updating: I really don’t have a routine, although I wished that I’d do. I update whenever I feel like it but since I love writing a lot, I tend to get inspiration very quickly and just like to upload stuff, whether that’s Minnie chapters, Jealousy Looks Good On You, or something from my inbox 🤗 I hope that once I’ve caught up with uni stuff, I get into a routine that I can let you know about!

And lastly, my favourite songs at the moment:

A lot again… I know😅 I just screenshoted the ones that I tend to listen to non-stop at the moment, but they change almost every week😬

Oh, and, I’m doing very well at the moment because I’m so so sooooo insanely grateful for all of you and all of the sweet messages you guys sent me in the form, they actually made me tear up🥺 so yeah… I’m actually happier than I ever could be and it’s really helping me a lot, especially during this time of year♥️♥️♥️

This was so insanely long, but I really want you guys to know how much you mean to me and I want to you to feel like you know me, like we’re friends. This is a safe place, I want my blog to be safe for you to come on here and read to escape a hectic life for a bit or just to sit down and relax, or whatever else you’re doing with my writing🤭🤫

AND PLEASE, if you ever need someone to talk to OR it’s the end of your day and you want to tell someone what you did or about something that happened, do NOT, and I mean, do NOT hesitate to write me!!!! Either send me an anonymous message in my inbox or send me a private message! I’m here to make friends too, so don’t be afraid to talk to me🤗

Wow, okay, this is long enough, I’m gonna go now and continue the new Minnie chapter to get it out tonight! Have a safe and good day/night and thank for everything! You really mean a lot to me!!♥️♥️♥️

[mooshys]

zara employee!AU futakuchi

content: me trying to be funny, retail headcanons

word count: 2.0k

a/n: ah yes, so winter (@/wackatoshi) and I planned out this entire mall universe for the hq boys and it’s the funniest thing to think about. y’all know those rude zara employees at the mall who judge you as soon as you walk in and tell you that “everything’s out on the floor already” when you ask for a size up? and all the racks on the floor are in shambles? that’s what inspired this. not sure if another installment will be added to this, but whatever! for reference, the other employees: oikawa, ennoshita, kuroo, hanamaki.

the worst person to work with... ever

he completely fits the stereotype of zara employee

will go on his lunch break, but “accidentally” forget to clock out, so he’s still earning cash for eating his sandwich in the back. also prolongs his breaks by at least 5 minutes

can never be found when there’s a rush. and by the time they DO find him, the store is completely empty

comes in late, but leaves as soon as his shift ends

never comes to the store on his days off and whenever the managers text him asking if he can pick up a shift he says he’s “busy”

everyone knows it’s a lie. one time ennoshita, the manager, went on his break and saw futakuchi buying a pretzel at the auntie anne's from the mall food court even though he texted ennoshita like thirty minutes ago that he already had important plans for the day. futakuchi made direct eye contact with him as he took a bite into his pretzel, not the least bit apologetic about lying

all his coworkers wonder how he still has this job

spends most of his shift complaining about working than actually working

when people ask if there are any other sizes in the back, he’ll go to the storage room, play on his phone for 5 minutes, and then walk out to the customer and tell them that they're out of stock

will say he’s doing go-backs, but in reality he’s just walking around the store in circles to avoid work

when he’s REALLY annoyed he sometimes won’t even wear his name tag on the floor so the customers don’t know if he works there and will leave him alone

doesn’t even try to hide how disgruntled he is with work, will literally say “I hate this job” loud enough for customers to hear when he’s shit talking with oikawa behind the register. does loud audible sighs when a customer comes up to check out if he’s in the middle of telling a story

awful at folding the clothes. he might as well just compress all the shirts into a ball and toss them into the bag instead

DESPISES CLOSING WITH A PASSION. he hates staying back even five minutes to pick clothes off from the ground. will literally curse that the company is so inconsiderate of his time even though he clocked in late to his shift...

if you’re on shift with him be prepared to do all the work... go see a chiropractor cuz you’ll basically be carrying him on your back the whole time!

he also finds the most creative ways to get others to do his work for him. his usual victim is hanamaki. he’ll go up to him and say “hey, do you mind folding up all the shirts in zone B for me? ennoshita asked me to organize the back since we’re doing new promos tomorrow” and hanamaki’s so clueless and goes “yeah! sure dude, I got it!”

futakuchi doesn’t organize in the back, he hides behind all the boxes while crouched down on his phone for about twenty minutes before going out on the floor again

someone save hanamaki he’s literally doing futakuchi’s work for him... poor boy needs a RAISE

you actually don’t work at the store futakuchi works at, you’re a part timer at another nearby store

during the holiday season the zara futakuchi works at gets super busy and you take a few extra shifts there to help out

you and futakuchi have an... interesting relationship

first thing you say when you see him during the holiday season: “you haven’t been fired yet?”

he’s rolling his eyes going “oh haha. very funny. saw you were at the bottom of sales last week. that’s probably why you’re always getting transferred here, huh.”

you two are constantly snapping back at each other, even when you’re ringing other people up at the registers. the customers are standing there awkwardly as you two scan and passive aggressively insult each other

it’s so weird, like you two are so mean to each other, but at the same time you’re both practically attached to the hip during your shifts together

futakuchi is more... punctual during the holiday season and even takes a COUPLE EXTRA SHIFTS which floors ennoshita (he’s so moved, he thinks futakuchi has had a change of heart and is trying to improve his work ethic... buddy that’s not it, I’m so sorry)

every time you clock in, futakuchi is there too and you’re going. oh great. not this guy again. it’s like clockwork, as soon as your shift starts, you’re at each others’ neck

when you diss the way he folds clothes, he’s scrutinizing your high pitched customer service voice

at first the other guys are laughing at what’s going on between you two and they’re thinking you two are Mortal Enemies For Life

but then they start noticing little by little that your relationship with futakuchi isn’t like that at all

when you’re scolding futakuchi with his awful folding, you take the time to show him all the steps to make a clean display free of wrinkles. he’s standing next to you trying to imitate the way your hands work on the fabric. he adds in a few snarky comments here and there, but you hush him as you’re giving instructions

and when you’ve got a huge rack of clothes from the dressing room that need to go back on the floor, futakuchi offers to help you put them away. he’ll say “ennoshita told me to help out” and you brush it off, but he’s actually lying. he’s helping you on his own accord

he has his asshole persona to keep up with, so he’s still sliding in snide remarks, but you’re so used to it and can keep up with him that he’s always on his toes. he likes this back and forth with you

one day, kuroo starts talking about you with futakuchi to get the 411 on what’s going on between you two. futakuchi denies it all until kuroo starts teasing him by saying he’ll ask you on a date. that’s when futakuchi’s going. wait what

“yeah, there’s a nice restaurant about ten minutes from here and I think going there on a date would really—”

futakuchi starts internally freaking out. he’s going “oh. a date. at a nice italian restaurant near here. wow.”

and kuroo’s got a nice lopsided grin because HE KNOWS and he’s still egging him on

that’s when it finally hits futakuchi. he... he likes you. He Likes You A Lot

the tips of his ears start turning red at this sudden revelation

and upon seeing this kuroo’s like "Alright bud, I was just messing with you. But if you don’t ask her out on a date then I sure as hell will!"

futakuchi’s going alright man give me like a week

Bro futakuchi is even MEANER to you than he was before because he Likes you and Doesn’t Know How To Deal With His Feelings since he’s got the emotional capacity of a grade schooler

futakuchi: wow. that blouse you’re wearing. it suits you.

you: really? thank you I think the color—

futakuchi: yeah. it’s ugly. like you.

you: ...

kuroo’s watching the exchange from the register completely horrified. he’s like. what have I done. futakuchi whips his head over with pleading eyes when you tell him to shove it and kuroo’s shaking his head thinking “I never should have gotten involved”

he’s in too deep already and when you leave the floor to help ennoshita with the stockroom, kuroo has another one-on-one with futakuchi. he tells him the basics like “Don’t call the person you like Ugly”

“well what else am I supposed to say”

truly a lost cause...

it’s like talking to a wall with futakuchi. kuroo’s telling him to be polite and sweet to you and futakuchi’s nodding his head in understanding, but as soon as he’s within a 3ft radius near you his brain is thinking “insult them for attention” kuroo’s like DUDE. WHAT DID I SAY.

this sad exchange goes on for a week and by then kuroo’s like. I give up on you. I can’t deal with this and the holiday rush. he’s waving up the white flag

futakuchi’s been kinda meaner to you than before, so you start ignoring him a bit and he’s getting so frustrated with himself that he doesn’t even know what to do and kuroo notices you two not talking AT ALL during a shift and he’s like. Futakuchi. Just Confess Already. Jesus.

futakuchi wishes he never realized he likes you because he wants to go back to those work days when you two would be Kinda Cheeky towards each other and everything was lax

the confession happens when ennoshita assigns you and futakuchi to work on orders in the back room. at first, futakuchi was trying to find hanamaki to do the work for him, but was promptly dragged by ennoshita to the back. there was no getting out of this

when he saunters on in, he sees you’re already printing out the shipping labels and folding up boxes and it’s silent, your back is facing him and he can definitely feel something is wrong

you saw him searching for hanamaki on the floor and it hurt your feelings because were you that insufferable to work with?

there’s silence between you two and then you break it and tell him that he can go back on the floor if he doesn’t want to work with you

and he can sense the hurt in your voice and he’s like... no, no, no that isn’t it

you’re shaking your head and saying “look, I get it. I get on your nerves. I could tell from this past week and you avoiding me. sorry if I did anything wrong... you can grab hanamaki and we’ll finish these orders while you work in the front”

now futakuchi is internally screaming NONONONONO in his mind because YOU’RE not annoying him at all he’s just a complete dummy who doesn’t know how to deal with his own emotions and now you’re on the verge of crying as you fold some shirts with tissue paper

it’s now or never

futakuchi blurts out that he Really Likes You

at first you think he’s joking and you’re going “Are you serious right now? I’m literally crying and you think NOW is the time to do some fake middle school confession? you’re sick”

POOR GUY HE’S LIKE “NO I REALLY MEAN THAT I LIKE YOU... A LOT...”

he’s right next to you now and grabs onto your shoulders so you can get a good look at his face. his eyes are all business as he confesses again

you’ve got your hand over your mouth and it hits you

futakuchi being Extra Mean to you is his way of showing affection...

now you’re throwing your head back in laughter because he’s so dumb. he’s tall and handsome and too cheeky for his own good, but he’s also like an elementary school kid realizing he’s got his first ever crush and he has absolutely No Idea how to Deal With It

after you’re done laughing, you lightly hit him on the chest and throw in a few lighthearted insults before you hug him as tight as you can. he returns the favor by wrapping his arms around you, practically engulfing you

he’s thinking wow. this is nice. he’s keeping his mouth clamped shut to avoid ruining the moment, but he’s totally digging the way you fit perfectly in his arms

when you pull away you notice his face is red all over and now you’re cracking up and calling him tomato head

and at this, he’s pointing at your running mascara and is like “sure I look like a tomato, but you’re looking like a reject Joker with all that smudged makeup”

now you two are fighting in the back, but in a more loving manner

as soon as you both clock out for the night, futakuchi takes you to the nice italian restaurant nearby. the one kuroo mentioned about a week beforehand

it’s the perfect place for a first date

(he’s too prideful to thank kuroo, but what he instead does is send a selfie with you in the picture + the food during the first date. kuroo’s slow clapping it out. he knew the little asshole could do it.)

[chocojjk]

Rain

“ohhh i would love to request something hmm okay let's see ideal date well how about a coffee shop date with my boi han from skz ? idc if it cliche (i love cliche ovjoijve)”

summary: barista! jisung x reader 

words: 1k

a/n: this was originally just going to be a date scenario but i felt a little inspired so now it’s an au lol. not edited, per usual. 

hope you guys enjoy it !

well, you asked for cliche

and ive been wanting to do a barista! au 

so... here we go 

its 12 am 

it was raining 

and the cherry on top of it all 

you had nothing protecting you from it, 

not an umbrella,,

not even a jacket 

and so you use your backpack as your shield from the harsh rain that was pouring harder and harder with every step you took

running into the first building you see, you find yourself in a coffee shop, quietly cursing to yourself as water pools around you 

“you look like youre having a rough time,” the boy giggles from behind the counter 

“tell me about it,” you sigh, frustrated at how your clothes kept sticking to your skin 

he disappears in the back for a bit as you lay your stuff down on an empty table  

no one was in the shop  and all you wanted to do was cry  

frustrated at everything that was currently happening  

and so you did  

you quietly broke down, still keeping in mind that you weren’t completely alone 

“maybe this could help,” the boy says 

“huh,” you say looking at him as you desperately try to wipe your tears away, embarrassed that he caught you  

and then you finally take notice of what he has held out for you 

a sweater and some sweats 

you cant help but let out a giggle at how unusual this situation is  

“are you sure its okay?” you ask quietly  

all he does is take your hand and lay his clothes on top of it  

“the bathroom is at the back, take your time” 

“thank you..umm,”  you look at his name tag “minho” 

“huh?!??” he says, a confused look on his face before it finally registers in his mind that he isn’t wearing his name tag and he lets out the prettiest laugh you swore you’ve ever heard  

“oh no! my names jisung haha, sorry my friend and i switched name tags today because we were bored,” he says, frantically explaining 

you giggle at his sudden outburst before excusing yourself to the bathroom to change 

his clothes were way too big on you, and you honestly look too funny but you were so thankful that you didnt have to deal with the wet clothes

making your way back out, you look out the window, noticing that the rain hasn’t stopped and it didn’t look like it was going to any soon  

the puddle of water you left behind was nowhere to be seen, all thanks to brown haired boy  

you notice jisung making a drink and you make your way over to him, starting a conversation  “are you guys always open this late?”  

“well, i was actually just about to close the shop but then you walked in,”  

“oh,” your eyes widen, “omygod, im so sorry!” you exclaim, making your way to your bag and mentally preparing yourself to step out back into the rain 

“where are you going?” 

“aren’t you going to close?” you ask  

“i already did,” he says pointing to the sign through the glass door 

“cmon, i made some coffee if you would like some” you make your way back towards him “are you allowed to do this?” 

“no but my parents own the store and im sure they’ll be more upset at me for making someone as pretty as you walk out in the rain at this hour 

your heart flutters at the boys comment  

giving him a smile, you take the seat in front of him 

“so, why are you out here at this hour?” 

“well,, i was studying for my midterms at the library down the street and completely lost track of time” 

“but that library closed like 3 hours ago?” 

“yeah, i got locked in, had to call someone to get me out,” you sigh  

he laughs  

that same beautiful laugh  

“i think thats the funniest thing i’ve heard all week,”  

“well im glad someone finds my pain enjoyable,” you retort, giggling along with him  

“do you want to talk to someone about it, i heard it really helps,” 

“hmm, not really but thank you,” you reply honestly 

“ok then, how about we play a game instead ?” 

“what do you have in mind??” 

“uhhhh, 20 questions?” he suggests and you roll your eyes 

“oh you’re one of those guys,” you teasingly say, a smirk making its way on your face  

“huh???” he says genuinely confused  

“you charm your way into people’s hearts just to play 20 questions,”  

you laugh  

not a small little giggle, but a genuine wholehearted laugh  

and jisung swears he’s never heard anything more beautiful  

“ok jisung, whats your favorite color?” 

for the next couple hours you guys just throw questions back and forth 

20 questions turning into 40 

until the whole thing was just scrapped away and you guys talk about anything and everything you could think of  

the rain has stopped but the both of you chose not to acknowledge it, enjoying each other’s company as much as you can  

and at 4am, your phone rings  

your alarm clock  

“omygod, i have class in 3 hours,” you say, surprised at how fast the time went  

“you wake up at 4am everyday?”  

“no but i was going to wake up a little earlier to squeeze in a bit of studying,” you say your shoulders slumping down as the stress of the exams start weighing on you once again 

“hey,” jisung says softly  you look up at him and all he does is ^^^(the gif above) 

you cant help but smile at the boys cute little antics  

“why dont you go home, squeeze in a little nap instead and freshen up yeah?”

“yeah, i should probably do that” you start packing your stuff away, slowly making yourself out  

“thank you for tonight jisung, i owe you a lot”  

he smiles at you, gummy smile and all  

“you can repay me by stopping by after your exam and telling me how it went?”  

“i was going to do that anyways to bring you back your clothes,” you say smiling at him 

“oh okay, then how about you repay me by letting me take you out on a date?” 

“omygod, you really are one of those guys,” you say laughing as he mirrors your actions 

“i’d love to go out on a date with you,” you reply  

“see you later?” 

“see you later.”  

[myapathyhaspeaked]

I posted 724 times in 2021

445 posts created (61%)

279 posts reblogged (39%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.6 posts.

I added 587 tags in 2021

#hetalia - 205 posts

#hws england - 88 posts

#aph england - 84 posts

#aph america - 46 posts

#hws america - 46 posts

#hws france - 28 posts

#nyotalia - 28 posts

#aph france - 27 posts

#fruk - 18 posts

#aph canada - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#sometimes she’ll do that mom thing of being like “well i’m just the worst mother ever” and i get so tempted be like yeah sure if you say so

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

hc that alfred doesnt really have an official middle name. he just goes with whatever he thinks is funniest or will make someone happy. like:

england: ALFRED FUCKING JONES-

america: uh oh, dad’s whipping out the full name.

prussia: haha...wait i thought you said your middle name was fredrick, ‘cause of my help?

denmark: i thought it was freedom?

japan: didn’t you one time say it was freedomfries?

america:

america: i can explain...

104 notes • Posted 2021-07-27 02:45:01 GMT

#4

france, the only one in the face fam with half decent social skills: damn, y’all live like this?

america, canada, and england with LOUD, introvert, and asshole disease, respectively: *sad nod*

132 notes • Posted 2021-03-26 15:02:49 GMT

#3

sweden is probably so lucky he’s intimidating because he seems like the kind of guy to apologise for getting soup spilled on him. if someone got passed the fact that he’s a giant of a man enough to irrationally accuse him of something he’d be like “oh ok im sorry” he’s just

he’s like those big dogs that won’t resist when you push them over

172 notes • Posted 2021-04-28 19:52:17 GMT

#2

“gilbert is a virgin” headcanon but instead of it being because of his religious vows it’s because by the time he was willing to break those vows no one was willing to bang a guy named fucking gilbert

311 notes • Posted 2021-06-12 17:51:14 GMT

#1

scotland, flicking on the basement light: wtf are you doing?

england, drawing a design on the floor: getting rid of the spell france put on me.

scotland: oh please, what spell? france doesnt even know the difference between a curse and a hex.

england: every time he laughs i can’t speak, it’s like he’s making sure i can’t ruin his fun.

scotland: oh my fucking god.

wales, who came down to see what the noise was about: what’s going on?

scotland, whispering: he has a crush and he thinks he’s fucking bewitched.

wales, whispering: should we stop him?

scotland,whispering: nah.

337 notes • Posted 2021-04-20 12:59:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[jokerownsmysoul]

Q and A about Joker

10 questions.

Thank you so much @arthurflecksgirl & @will-you-be-there for the tag, I loved doing this 💙🌺

I tag: @daydreamhustler, @arthurflecc, @daincrediblegg, @fleckcmscott, @tinyclowndancer you don't have to do it if you don't want to 🌹and anyone who wants to do it, consider yourself tagged 💕

Rules: If you wanna join this Q & A just copy and paste and change the answers :) Tag 5 people :) ENJOY

1. What's your fave scene in Joker?

Omg can I say the ones where Arthur is in? 😩 I started listing some scenes but then I realized I was listing the whole movie lol. There are scenes that make me particularly soft, but I think it's impossible to answer this question. I cherish each second of this movie 💙 some of those scene though, are the one where Arthur is stretching his shoe up at Haha's, I find him very handsome in those few frames. The scene where he comes home and talks with Penny and the domesticy of their shared moments, the one where he answers the phone, the Pogo's one, the one at the hospital, the dancing scene at Arkham at the end of the movie, the one of Joker talking with Murray... These are so many and I didn't even finish to list them, it's just impossible 😭

2. The cutest scene in Joker?

Another tough question omg. The iconic scene of "Oh yeah? Who do you talk to?", the one where he's playing peekaboo with the kid, the one where he does the gun gesture with his hand in the hallway to Sophie, and each one of the Carnival scenes, because Carnival is the cutest clown ever existed 🥺

3. The saddest scene in Joker?

I don't think it's possible to find the saddest scene, the whole movie is sad and painful. But I think that Arthur reading Penny's file and in general being aware of the dynamics with his mother is a point of no return for him and his mental health, Penny was too important for him.

4. The funniest scene in Joker?

Assuming that there is a funny scene in Joker which I find difficult to believe, I'd say when he scares Gary. This scene is brilliant and so well composed, he looks particularly amused by himself when he does that. This particular sweetness mixed with a sort of soft pride in managing to scare him off makes me smile 🥺

5. The sexiest scene in Joker?

Every scene where Arthur is in, don't mind me. 😂 Starting from the one where he's watching Wayne on the television with Penny, the second therapy session, the stairs dance, when he's rehearsing, and every scene where he's wearing the red sweater or the red suit. But again, my answer is every scene where Arthur is in 🙌🏻🤡

6. Do you want part two?

Joker is perfect as a standalone, but Arthur is so complex that there's a lot to explore in a sequel. A part of me would love to see Arthur again, of course, but another part of me is afraid that a sequel might ruin the glorious memories that Joker gave us. If they get it right, being respectful of Arthur and his story, and don't mess up things like very often happen with a sequel, I can be only happy to see him again. But they must make a sequel not just for a matter of money because the first one became a cult, but because they want to explore Arthur better and have something to say. Todd loves Arthur as much as we do, I'm sure he'd love to explore him better and I think with him we would be in good hands, he cares about Arthur and this movie. 💙

7. How many times did you watch Joker?

I've legitimately lost counts. A lot of times 😂

8. Are you more of a Joker's or Arthur's girl?

I don't like this expression tbh because Joker is Arthur, it's the same person. Joker is Arthur, he's just in a different state of mind. I'm his through and through no matter what he's going through in his life and in what state of mind he's in. But if you want an answer, I'd say Arthur because Arthur is who he is and who he wanted to be. "He doesn't want to feel so bad anymore" 🥺

9. Do you believe he was adopted?

After a whole year I am still very confused about this. I don't think he was adopted, but the theory that says he was adopted got some points too. I think it's one of the hardest things to understand of this movie because both of the theories are valid and believable, though I think he wasn't adopted.

10. Worst/most hated person in Joker?

Honestly every person who was rude to him in the same level. And I don't know why, every time I see that Wallstreet guy taking Carnival's wig off him on the subway scene, wearing it he himself and simulating Arthur's laughter to mock him before beating him, I get nauseous. It's such a disrespectful gesture and privacy invasion, I don't know why it hits me like that but I hate it.

[depizan]

I am so sorry, this ramble turned out long as fuck. Hence the cut.

I want fiction to prove me wrong.

While I was making dinner, I was pondering fiction - what I like, what I don’t, what I tolerate; various things people far smarter and more famous have said about fiction (the Timothy Zahn quote I posted here that will never die, Pratchett’s quote about how a world where Bond did not disarm the bomb and the third of three brothers didn’t succeed at the quest (or whatever the exact wording is) would be a dark place, Red of OSP on YouTube talking about Grimdark) and it all came together: I want fiction to prove me wrong.

That’s the unifying explanation for what I like, what I don’t, what I tolerate, why I have so much trouble trusting fiction, and all that good stuff.

See, depression and anxiety are a horrible combination. It’s like going through life with an evil narrator or backseat driver who points out every possible thing that could go wrong and expects those things to go wrong. Every light that turns green will have someone run the red. That blemish is skin cancer. If your boss wants to talk to you, it’s because you did something wrong and you’re going to be fired. If the person you’re meeting is late, either they’re dead or they were never really going to show up. There somehow could be a bomb or drugs in your carry on luggage, even if you didn’t put it there and you never let your luggage out of your sight.

It’s a world in which the worst is always the most possible, in which no one can be trusted, in which nothing will go well, and which will only end in death. Probably horrible death.

Somehow, the fact that I have never been t-boned by someone running a red light, haven’t had skin cancer, been fired (except from a horrible telemarketing job, and, honestly, that was a relief), been stood up (or had the person be dead), or found a bomb or drugs magically in my luggage does not help. Okay, pointing that out to myself is one of many tools I use to manage that evil “voice” in the back of my head, but it doesn’t cure anything.

Neither does fiction, of course. (Wouldn’t that be nice. Read this book, and your anxiety will be gone forever. Man, I wish it worked that way.) What fiction does do is let me spend time in a world that - at least if I’m choosing the fiction well - proves my depression and anxiety wrong. In a much more clear and dramatic way than simply not being run over on the way to work.

Characters come up against impossible situations, horrible odds, worst case scenarios...and prevail. Single starships take out armadas or moon-sized battle stations, plucky bands of misfits defeat terrible villains, friendship is true even when tested, James Bond disarms the bomb with seven seconds left on the clock, the junior dragonslayer befriends a dragon and saves their village, taking a stand and doing the right thing succeeds, and, above all else, there is always hope and hope is always right.

And for just a little while I live in a cloud of second-hand optimism. For just a little while, I don’t have a litany of terrible possibilities running through my mind.

So of course I hate grimdark, and I hate fiction that kicks you for having the gall to think that good could win, and I hate fiction that presents things that agree with the awful predictions the depression/anxiety monster makes. I want the kid saving starfish to save “that one” without it immediately being eaten by a seagull, damn it. Is that too much to ask?

And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with grimdark, or fiction where the bad guys win, or comedies. It’s that I don’t want them. And I don’t want to be tricked into seeing/reading them. Too much fiction gets off on tricking its audience these days. Which is why I have a lot of trouble trusting fiction. I want to know what I’m going to get, and outside of things I’ve consumed before and fanfic (which is, conveniently, tagged), I just can’t be sure. Maybe it is what it says on the tin, or maybe the creator is one of those assholes who gets off on serving people mashed potatoes and gravy disguised as an ice cream sundae.

That, that is what I object to. Being tricked into consuming something bad for me when I’m looking for something good for me. I want to know that the dog lives, I want to know that there’s a happy ending, I want to know that the work of fiction will prove me wrong, not right. Or I want to know ahead of time that it isn’t safe (for me), so that I can not get invested in it. (Reading something for a class, for example. Or going to a movie that is so not my kind of thing with friends. Or, you know, anything by Joss Whedon.)

That’s also probably why I’m so very wary of comedies. Even though my actual sense of humor can be really dark. (No, really. One of the reasons I keep poking at the Dark Meeting mission in SW:TOR - you know, the one where the Agent goes to Darth Jadus’s office for a chat and his “dark blessing”...or a little electrocution if you’re an idiot - is because it is one of the funniest moments in the Agent story. And one of the most horrifying. Like, simultaneously. It’s hilarifying. It’s horrilarious.) … You know, maybe the fact that I found comedies horrifying when I was growing up did something to my sense of humor… Aaaaanyway… *cough* Uh… … Wait, no, actually, that’s a really interesting outlier, because that scene absolutely matches one kind of humor I hate, but in this instance, I actually find it funny. (And it probably isn’t supposed to be.)

Lots of comedies do that. Swap out the expected way things should go for something awful. The child saving starfish doesn’t notice that sharks are eating them, or whatever. Haha. Because you don’t expect it. Because it turned something good into something horrible. Yay. *jazz hands* So why, when I universally hate that shit in comedies, do I find that SW:TOR scene funny? (And terrible. But still funny.) Is it because the Agent’s “arrogance” gets themselves hurt, not someone or something else? Is it because it doesn’t actually break genre, it’s just a reminder that you are playing a villain’s henchman instead of a hero? … It’s that. That’s it. That’s why it’s funny! It’s like being wrong genre savvy, but it’s wrong part savvy! It’s not that something unexpectedly awful happens. It’s that something expectedly awful happens, but it’s surprising because you forgot your actual role. Oh ho!

(Yeah, this is pretty much Mac’s random fictional epiphanies: the post.)

In any event, I want fiction that proves me wrong. Or, rather, I want fiction that proves my mental illnesses wrong.

And sometimes I have a very weird sense of humor. While also not getting (or hating) a lot of comedy. And spending a fair amount of time at work cheering up my coworkers by making them laugh. Comedy: even when you’re really, really picky about it, it’s the last refuge of the depressed and anxious.

[artificialqueens]

How Far I'll Go Chapter Six (Ninex) - Mia Ugly, Meggie

A/N: We’re baaaaack! Hi hello how are you? LIFE is crazy. We’re so sorry it took so long to get this chapter to you guys, but honestly, Snatch Game was probably the hardest thing we’ve written. It’s hard to be funny. I’m going to be way nicer to queens who do badly on Snatch Game from here on out because it’s not easy, mama. Anyway. We hope you enjoy this SUPER MEGA SIZED CHAPTER (10.5k!) to make up for the super long hiatus. And hopefully we’ll be back with more very soon. Come visit us on our blogs: @mia-ugly and @artificialmeggie

Previously: The runway was purple, but Blair’s Scarlett O'Hara realness wasn’t enough to save a poor performance and she was sent packing. Brooke and Vanjie are (most definitely) probably still messing around, and Nina and Monet had a moment backstage when Nina narrowly avoided elimination. Or was it a moment? Oh, and Nina’s probably losing his mind.

To come: Katya, Snatch Game, a hotel bar date, and a musical number.

Nina wakes up and is still on Drag Race.

He might be having some kind of a nervous breakdown (and breaking into song periodically) but that’s showbiz, kid.

And now it’s time for the fucking Snatch Game.

Shower, shave, dress.

Prepare for another sloppy Branjie moment in the elevator (and thank God, Nina gets to avoid that for a change). Nina Bo’nina is riding down alone, and the two of them chat distractedly on their way to the conference room.

A few of the mentors are there, but no Monét and no Trixie.

Nina tries not to let that bother him as he nibbles his toast and drinks his coffee. He’s focused this morning, ready for whatever happens next. He’s been thinking about Snatch Game since the moment he got the All Stars call, is determined that this is going to be his challenge (of course, he might have had that thought about the last challenge too… No, nope, move the hell on, girl.)

Nina doesn’t see Brooke until they film the Werk Room entrance. The man looks exhausted. There are circles under his eyes that the makeup guy has done his best to cover, but it’s still obvious Brooke is not at his best. It makes Nina remember that - no matter how stupid the Canadian is being about Vanjie (and no matter what sort of history he has with Nina’s equally stupid heart), Nina still loves him. Will probably always love him in some kind of way.

“No coffee this morning?” he asks quietly as they’re waiting to get mic’d.

“Not enough.” Brooke pulls down his hideous knitted beanie (where the hell does he keep getting those? A P.A. should - frankly - take them away.)

“Have a late night?” Nina doesn’t really want to know, but if Brooke needs to talk about it -

“Oh no. No. Just - thinking.” He rolls his neck. “Like - we know what’s coming up, right? And last season - it wasn’t my best look.”

Nina barks out a an embarrassingly loud laugh. “No kidding.”

“You didn’t have to find it that funny.”

“It’s pretty funny.”

“You’re a dick, you know that? No matter how sweet Monét thinks you are.”

This makes Nina stop laughing. “Sorry - what?”

“He was just going on about you when he was watching Asia film our scene last episode. Like - ‘try this, Nina does this, blah blah.’”

Nina doesn’t know what to think about that. It makes him feel a bit warm and light-headed, but absolutely incapable of responding.

“Clearly you’ve got her fooled. I know what you’re really like.”

“Haha, yeah.” Nina’s voice is weak and he hopes to God Brooke doesn’t immediately clock his blush. Luckily, Vanjie chooses that moment to start flirting with the sound guy, and Brooke’s attention is suddenly elsewhere. Yes, yes, that’s good. Nina will have to keep Vanjie close by at all times, just in case he needs to distract Brooke.

They all romp into the Werk Room together, Shea and Asia working their few seconds in the doorway for all it’s worth (“pose for me, pose for me, POSE”). They talk a bit about Blair going home, but before they can say much about it there’s the sound of a video message, and the television flickers to life.

“Ladies,” Ru’s face comes onto the screen. “I picked you queens for All Stars because you represent the best of the best. But on second thought… I think I’d like to see some other queens in your place. Sorry, not sorry.”

The video ends.

“What the hell does that mean?” Shea asks.

“Nah, nah.” Vanjie is shaking his head in denial. “We don’t need no more hos up in here. We got too many of y’all already.”

“Hello, hello, hello!” The door opens and Ru comes into the Werk Room, followed by the mentors. Nina tries to smile and look as excited to see Ru as he’s always supposed to be, but - he can’t help being worried about whatever the hell twist is coming up. (Monét winks at him as he comes in, so that’s something. Nina will keep that one brief moment like a diamond in his pocket.)

“Ladies, for this week’s maxi challenge, it’s time for another All Star Edition of Snatch Game!”

Most of the queens around Nina are delighted - except Brooke. Nina can see him smiling, but it’s fragile and fake, and his arms are folded very tightly around himself, legs crossed at the thigh even though he’s standing; a clear indication he’s stressing.

“This time, however, to celebrate my recent single ‘Queens Everywhere’— available now on iTunes—we’re going to do things a little bit differently. I know you’re all amazing queens, but for this Snatch Game, I’d like to see if you have any other queens inside you.” Ru raises a suggestive eyebrow. “Not to give Miss Vanjie an unfair advantage.”

Vanjie’s jaw drops even as he laughs, mutters “shade” through his perfect teeth.

“For this Snatch Game, I’m asking you to channel one of your sisters. We’ve had a lot of iconic queens on this series, so you’ll have plenty of personalities to choose from. And luckily you’ve got some experts here for inspiration. Hashtag Snatch Game All Stars. Gentleman, start your engines. And may the best All Star… win!”

“The fuck?” Vanjie whispers to Nina as soon as Ru leaves. “Bitch, I had a damn plan. I brought the little gold trophies and everything. Watched all the fucking movies. Now I got to be one of y’all’s tired asses? That ain’t fair.”

“Trophies, like - you mean Oscars?”

“Sure, whatever.”

Nina has to admit that he’s kinda thrilled about this twist. He’d been telling anyone who will listen who he was going to be for the Snatch Game if he ever got another chance. He’d had a couple back-ups, of course (they’d all been told to bring a former queen, so honestly, they should have seen this coming from a mile away), but this really couldn’t have gone better for him.

He feels bad for some of the other queens though, especially Vanessa (the bitch was prepped to do Meryl Streep - Brooke’s idea, and a fucking hilarious one. He’d kill to see it).

“X-Queens assemble,” Monét calls over at him, and Nina pats Vanjie on the shoulder, goes off to sit with Monét and Asia.

Monét looks good. Real good. He’s in some loud patterned sweatshirt that has tiny slices of pizza all over it, and another pair of thick-rimmed glasses (white, or maybe baby pink?), and he’s smiling at Nina like - no, nope. Move along.

“It’s actually the Avengers that assemble,” Asia tells Monét, who rolls his eyes at her.

“Girl, you can’t be a bigger nerd than me. I won’t accept it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause knowing about the Avengers is real obscure, serious fan-only shit.”

“The shade, Miss Asia! Nina West, are you going to defend your mentor?”

Nina holds his hands up. “You’re the fearless leader, you got this.”

“The pair of you.” Monét shakes his head. “All right, what you got for Snatch Game?”

“I’ma be Brown Cow Stun-ning, yes, honey.” Asia pops her tongue after a pretty admirable impression of Monique Heart.

“And Miss Nina West?” Monét is looking at him with an eyebrow raised. Nina wonders if he’s heard the interviews, if he already knows.

“Miss Vaaaanjie,” Nina says, “Bitch, you know I don’t play games. Don’t play Monopology, Uno, Twistah, Tag, Marbles -”

“Jesus Christ, stop it.” Monét is covering his face with his hands, while Asia is cackling. “Does she know?”

“Not yet.”

“She will live. Okay, okay, I ain’t worried about either of you. Take me straight to the finale, win me that serious mentor coin.”

They run through a couple ideas for jokes, focusing more on Asia (who struggled last time and still has a bit of anxiety flaring behind her contacts). There’s a break for lunch, but it’s weirdly quiet, subdued. Snatch Game is an opportunity to stand out, to prove you deserve to be there. It’s also an opportunity to crash and burn in front of Ru, the judges, and later on - the world. So there’s that.

After lunch everyone starts putting on their paint, fixing their wigs. The cameras zoom in to get some Werk Room chatter about who is playing who, and of course they’re all dying for Vanessa’s reaction (as soon as he sees Nina pull out his pink-petalled Barbie-head dress from its garment bag, the pussycat’s out of the Prada bag).

“Noooo, bitch,” Vanjie shouts across the room, but he’s smiling. “Oh, I’mma have to whup your ass if that’s what I think it is.”

“Deuces!” Nina shouts back at him, throwing up the sign as well, while Brooke covers his face.

“That ain’t right, it ain’t right. Thought we was friends, sis.” Vanjie is laughing about it, though; Nina knows they’re cool.

“Who are you playing, Miss Shea Coulée?” Asia calls over to her sister, who is fussing with a nasty looking green wig.

“Paaaarty…” Shea drags out the word, working that vocal fry for all she’s worth. “I’m going to be Adore Delano, darling.”

Nina Bo’nina Brown thinks this is the funniest thing she’s ever heard, can’t speak for laughing so hard. Shea seems entertained by it at first, but her smile starts to tighten a little after the laughter continues a bit too long.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just - good luck, girl.”

“Who are you doing then?”

“Yeah,” Cracker interjects. “You were Jasmine Masters for your season’s Snatch Game right? The judges loved it.”

“Right. So why mess with perfection? I’m going to do Miss Jasmine Masters.”

A couple of the girls stop what they’re doing when she says this.

“You’re going to play the same queen?” Cracker repeats, a bit shocked.

“Yeah. I was sickening last time, I’ll be sickening this time.”

“Aren’t you worried that they’ll read you for not showing them what else you can do?”

“Nah. They’re gonna be laughing too hard.”

“Mmmm…” Vanjie makes a low, skeptical noise.

“Trust and believe, Vanjie,�� Nina B. calls over to her. “Trust and believe.”

The cameras have to reset then to film Ru’s entrance into the Werk Room, and catch all the queens’ “surprised” reactions.

“Hello hello hello, kitty girls!”

Nina beams, claps his hands, that whole production. He’s feeling pretty good though - the energy is real. He’s actually excited for this challenge, ready to show Ru what he can do. (That’s how he felt last year too, then Silky went and yanked the win right out from under him. But no time to dwell on that now.)

“How are my All Stars? I thought I’d take a little look-see at what you were planning for us. And I brought along one of our extra special guest judges to help me out.”

From behind Ru, Katya Zamolodchikova comes in waving and smiling, teeth glowing white against her red lipstick.

“Oh my god! Get your own thing!” Trixie yells from across the room, and Katya does that ridiculous/adorable silent laugh that Nina has seen on “UNHhhh” too many times to count.

“Thanks for coming, Katya!” Ru says cheerfully.

“No problem, Ru. Thanks for unlocking the attic door!”

“Well, it was a special occasion. And I was feeling generous.”

They go from station to station, cameras following them around silently, and Nina fusses a bit with his dress while eavesdropping on their conversations with the other queens. There is a bit of concern for Brooke, who’s playing Detox (no big surprise there). How is Brooke going to make Detox funny seems to be the main issue. Nina has the same question. Brooke seems more confident than last season, though, so Ru and Katya wish him luck.

There’s some controversy over Nina Bo’nina playing Jasmine again, but the girl won’t be convinced to try something else. Nina listens to some of the critiques, ignores some of the others. He’s interested, but he also knows he needs to focus on his own performance, and not get in his head. He’s not as bad as Brooke at over-thinking things, but no one goes into goddamn musical theatre who isn’t at least a little bit destroyed (psychologically speaking. Okay, maybe also a bit romantically. It’s fine).

“Nina West!” Ru says close to Nina’s ear, and he almost jumps a foot in the air. (Girl, Katya is standing four feet away from you, be cool, be cool.)

“Hello, hello, hello Christine,” he says, immediately launching into his Vanjie impression. Both Ru and Katya laugh - and Katya’s smile up close is completely unfair, like a smile cut out of paper, perfect and sharp-edged.

(“I don’t know her!” Vanjie shouts from across the room.)

“So who are you going to be?” Katya asks, completely straight-faced, as soon as she and Ru have stopped laughing.

“I don’t know, still making up my mind,” Nina says, back in his normal voice.

“And the uh -” Ru gestures to the hideous floral Barbie dress, “gown?”

“Do you like it? One of my best gowns. What’s funny?”

Katya is wheeze-laughing. Katya is wheeze-laughing because of something Nina said! He stores that one next to the Monét gem from earlier; hopes to have enough for his own tiara in the unthinkable event that he doesn’t win.

“Now on Season 11’s Snatch Game, you were hilarious, you played -”

“Harvey Fierstein and Jo Anne Worley-”

“Yes! And really, it might have been one of the strongest performances in Snatch Game herstory.”

Nina smiles gratefully (only slightly furious that Ru’s saying this despite the fact that Nina didn’t win. He deserved to win).

“So how can you possibly outdo yourself this time?”

“I’m not trying to outdo myself, I’m trying to do something different. Like Katya, when you played Björk -”

“Yes, yes, back to me,” Katya says, nodding.

“Completely different from Suze Orman, but still so funny. That’s what I’m going to do. Just - mix it up.”

“All right, Nina, good luck. Can’t wait to see it,” Ru says, moving on.

It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

As soon as Ru and Katya leave the Werk Room it’s a mad dash to get dressed and made up and before Nina knows it, before he can light a bunch of candles on an altar and find whatever religion will bring him the most luck, they’re all being rounded up and led into the studio for the Snatch Game.

Okay.

Okay.

Brooke’s Detox look is iconic, the yellow and black striped bandage dress from the Season 5 premiere (probably borrowed from Detox herself) hugs his perfectly padded body, but he’s absolutely trembling as he walks beside Nina. Nina has to squeeze his shoulder, tell him it’ll be fine.

“It’s fun, Brooke. Just have fun with it,” he murmurs as he hits the bright studio lights, has to blink until his vision adjusts (the first thing he sees is Monét and Nina’s blinded by him).

Okay.

The mentors are sitting along the sidelines, ready to watch the show play out. Nina wasn’t expecting that, but it’s - fine. Monét smiles at him, and Nina’s going to use that smile as a good luck charm - a rabbit’s foot, a four leaf clover, whatever. It’s impossible not to feel lucky when someone who looks like Monét goddamn X Change smiles at you like that.

“Welcome to the first All Stars ‘Queens Everywhere’ Snatch Game!” Ru says after they’re all mic’d and seated, upbeat music playing behind him. “Let’s meet our contestants.”

Katya beams from where she’s sitting behind her glittery podium and microphone.

“It’s everyone’s favorite queen that we found digging in the dumpster outside - Katya!”

“And yet I’m still hungry!”

Katya smiles at Ru and then snaps her teeth at the other queens.

“And - just when you thought we’d finally seen the last of her - halleloo! It’s Shangela!”

Shangela raises one hand in the air, nodding seriously. “That’s right, I’m back again, bitches. And I ain’t even in a box this time, baby.”

“Ladies, are you ready to meet the queens?”

“Yaaaaaaaaaas,” they answer in tandem.

They reset so that Ru can film the introductions, and Nina’s heart starts rattling like bones in a bag. He’s buzzing with adrenaline and nerves, but he’s going to channel that into a goddamn win. That’s right, he tells his inner saboteur - you can fuck off. This challenge is mine.

“The heart of Season 10 - Monique Heart is here!” Ru starts with Asia, whose Monique look is extremely correct.

“Hello world! Hello America! Are you brown cow stunning?” She tosses Ru a ridiculous cow-patterned baseball cap. Ru briefly feigns excitement before throwing it over his shoulder in distaste.

“Burn that,” he murmurs to one of the camera crew. “Next up, we have the original party-queen - Adore Delano!”

Shea Coulee stretches her arms in the air before making a peace sign, growling “Party,” in a gravelly voice.

“How are you doing Adore?”

“I mean, I’m good, you know? Like. Excited to be back. Where am I again?”

Nina has to turn his mouth into his shoulder to stifle the laugh that bubbles to his throat immediately. He wasn’t sold on it when they were discussing it in the Werk Room, but Shea is killing it as Adore. Her voice, her delivery is hilarious. The makeup is flawless. Her perpetual open mouth is complete perfection. As always, Shea Coulee is slaying the competition. Nina’s stomach gives a nervous jolt, so he sucks in a deep breath and reminds himself to pay attention.

He realizes he’s missed Ivy’s introduction, but Katya is gagged at the illusion of, well - Her - that Ivy is turning today. A mid-length honey blonde wig barely brushes Ivy’s shoulders and her red bustier is covered in rhinestones (and, of course, the scythe and hammer.) The look is great. The accent, on the other hand… Nina sighs a little, but tries not to get comfortable, regardless of how terrible Ivy’s Russian accent is.

Vanjie is seated at the end of the top row, decked out in red lace, a large pair of dark sunglasses balanced precariously on her nose. There’s no denying the air about her: Miss Vanjie is living Miss Valentina’s French vanilla fantasy, and no one could doubt it.

Ru beams at him. “Valentina! How wonderful to see you again!”

Vanjie draws in a deep breath. “That’s right, Ru, it’s me - Valentina. I’m back, and this time, I just want you to know, I fully learned all the words to ‘Greedy.’”

“Excellent! You want to sing us a verse right now?”

“No,” Vanjie answers, extremely primly, and even in his gravelly voice, the delivery is enough to make Ru laugh.

“Maybe next time.”

“Probably not.”

Then Ru’s looking at Nina and - oh, god, why did he think coming back for All Stars was a good idea again?

“Miss Vaaaaaanjie is here!” Ru trills.

Nina sucks in a deep breath and - “What’s the grease, mama?”

Down the row, Brooke buries his face in his hands, but his shoulders bounce with laughter. Ru is giggling loudly. Even Katya and Shangela are agape at the spot-on impression like it’s the first time he’s done it, the first time they’ve heard it.

He lets himself relax a little.

“Three seasons in a row.” Ru consults his cue cards. “Girl, aren’t you tired of competing yet?”

“Mmhmm.” Nina shakes his head vehemently, the wig he pilfered from Vanjie weeks ago flying around his shoulders. (He really does owe Brooke one for that.) “Nah, girl, you know I’m still trying to get my own show. Like Vanjie of Love or some shit like that. You know, something where these triflin’ hos gotta pay me some damn attention.”

In his periphery, Nina catches Brooke cut his eyes to him. He hopes this is okay. They haven’t really discussed the Branjie territory in regards to his jokes, but he kind of assumed it was fair game. Besides, he isn’t planning on directly hurting anyone’s feelings. He’ll keep it light, keep it fun. Besides, they’re the ones who marketed their portmanteau and gave the profits to charity. It’s practically public domain at this point.

“Next up we’ve got - oh my goodness, it’s Jasmine Masters!”

Nina Bo’nina gives Ru an extremely “over it” look. “Yeah, and I got something to say.”

“Now Jasmine - no tea, no shade, but haven’t you been on Snatch Game before?”

There’s a bit of an awkward pause before Nina Bo’nina waves him away.

“Bitch, I’ve got something more to say.”

Ru chuckles a bit, “I bet you do,” and moves on to Brooke.

“Another former All Star contestant, welcome Detox!”

Brooke looks sullen and concerned. He gives a little nod at Ru and the contestants.

“Detox, what’s the matter? You don’t look happy to be here.”

“Oh, am I not smiling?” Brooke asks through his extremely full, painted-on lips. “I can’t feel anything above my neck.” He shapes his mouth into a grotesque smile using his hands, and Ru almost doubles over. Okay, okay. Nina feels a little less worried about Brooke.

“And last but not least, we have - um, Aquaria! Hey girl!”

“Hi Ru!”

“Aquaria, is that the new way you’re spelling your name?” Cracker has written Acwareea on her name-card. A couple letters are backwards.

“Huh?” Cracker looks down at the name card. “Oh, I can’t spell my name. Actually, I can’t spell anything.”

“Okay then.”

“You know, some girls chose to read books, I chose to turn looks.”

“Yeah, you did! Now let’s get ready to play the Snatch Game!”

They break for a few adjustments on the cameras and microphones, and Nina tries not to hyperventilate, and then fuck - they’re rolling again.

“Here we go. The first question is for Katya. Katya, All Stars Season 1 paved the way, and brought back some of the most celebrated queens of all time to compete. This time, instead of competing in pairs, the queens are competing in BLANK.”

Be funny, be funny, be fucking funny. Nina tries to think like Vanjie and writes down an answer as soon as he’s got one, hoping it will be good enough.

“Okay, pens down. Katya?”

“I said competing in traction.”

“In - traction?”

“Yeah, you know, when all the bones in your body are broken and you’re in the hospital bed with your leg in the air.”

“That would certainly be a different kind of competition.”

“I’d watch it,” Katya says seriously, and Ru laughs.

“Let’s go to the Queens and see if we have any matches. Miss Valentina. What did you write down?”

Vanjie has put a lace mask on over the bottom of her face. She mumbles something indecipherable.

“What was that?” Ru asks. Vanjie mumbles something again.

“Valentina,” Ru says, clearly picking up on the joke. “Take that thing off your face.”

“I’d like to keep it on please.”

Ru shakes his head slowly, and at last Vanjie removes her mask.

“Now, Valentina. What did you write?”

Vanjie flips her card over, and Ru starts to wheeze with laughter. “That’s what I wrote down. I’d like to keep it on please.“

Vanjie’s Valentina voice is slipping, but she’s hella charming anyway, as always.

“I’m sorry, my dear, but that is not a match. Moving on to Aquaria - oh! You’ve got a new outfit.”

Miz Cracker was scrambling to put on a new wig and geometric headpiece made of iPhones while Ru was speaking to the contestants. She looks great, and she’s killing Aquaria’s affected head wobble.

“This season the queens are competing in BLANK.”

Cracker flips her card to reveal Aquaria’s instagram URL. “I wasn’t born when All Stars Season 1 aired, so I just wrote this.”

“Oh, okay - not a match.”

“I’m young,” Cracker insists, and Ru nods, patiently.

“We all were once. What did Miss Vaaaaanjie have to say?”

“I said we’d have to compete in swimsuits,” Nina says, flipping over his card.

“Swimsuits?”

“Yeah. Cause maybe then Michelle won’t read my ass for filth every damn week.”

Ru gapes at him, like he can’t believe he just came for Michelle in Snatch Game.

“Swimsuits be glamor when everybody else is doing them too, bitch!” Nina pops his tongue.

Ru laughs, high and clear, and then turns to the other Nina. “What about you, Jasmine? What do you have to say?”

Nina Bo’nina slaps her hands on the table and purses her lips. “We gonna be competing in making viral videos to get Justin Bieber’s attention, Ru.”

The room — pauses while Ru tries to save face with a polite chuckle. Nina West can practically hear the shade rattle sound effect that will inevitably be edited in at this exact moment.

Jasmine Masters probably wasn’t Nina Bo’nina’s best option (anyone could have told her that and, good god girl, they really tried). It’s not working. Nina doesn’t think any of it’s working.

Ru clears his throat, shakes his head. “I’m certain you could teach them a thing or two about that, but unfortunately, it’s not a match.”

Nina Bo’nina shrugs.

Ru shuffles his cue cards and moves on. “This next question is for Shangela. In All Stars Season 2, we changed things up by letting the queens choose who would be eliminated. This season, as well as eliminating each other, the queens will have to BLANK each other.”

There’s the scribbling of markers from the queens around Nina (who like to think he’s got this answer down blind.)

“Okay, pens down. Shangela? This season, the queens will also have to…”

“I knew what y’all were looking for, because y’all are nasty…” Shangela turns her card around. “But I’m a lady, so I said they’d have to ‘tuck’ each other.”

“Tuck each other!”

“Sometimes a girl needs a helping hand, mama.”

“Ain’t that the truth. Let’s see if we have any matches! Katya, what did you say?”

Ivy looks a bit startled to be called on first, but she beams with her red lips, flips her card over. “I said eat each other. To consume each other’s power and fill the gaping void that lives -” She pats her chest. “Right here.”

Katya (the real Katya) shrieks, but Ru shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, that’s not a match.”

“Da,” Ivy says solemnly, in her terrible Russian accent. “Da. It never is match. Like me and Trixie. Match but… No match.”

And, okay, Nina might imagine it, but it seems like the studio goes eerily quiet as everyone waits for Trixie’s reaction. She’s smiling, but it looks forced. Katya clears her throat but laughs, which seems to dispel the weird tension that formed.

Ru, oblivious to the entire thing, moves on. “Miss Vaaaanjie, what did you say?”

Nina sighs and flips his card, feeling pretty pleased with himself. “I said date each other. You know, I still be lookin’ for that Notebook shit.”

“Oh yeah, we know. No more Post-Its, right?”

“No more Post-Its, never again. I ain’t got the time, Mary!” He glances over at Brooke, raises his eyebrows seductively. “Hey, how you doin’?” Behind him, the real Vanjie mumbles something under his breath.

“I’m sorry, my dear, that’s not a match.”

“Bitch, it might be!” Nina says, still looking at Brooke, and Ru bends over laughing, stomping his foot into the ground. It’s adrenaline, it’s power, it’s like Nina knows this challenge is his.

“You ain’t even know!” he continues, channeling angry Vanessa as much as possible. “Just ‘cause one tall blonde bitch did me wrong don’t mean they all will. Shit.” Nina crosses his arms over his chest, leans back in his chair, sees Brooke duck his head and blink rapidly a few times.

That might have been too much. He just got caught in the moment and… Fuck. Dial it back a little, but stay focused.

“Moving on to Aquaria,” Ru says. Aquaria, this season the queens will have to BLANK each other.”

“I said ‘copy each other,” Cracker says tightly, in Aquaria’s low voice. “And it’s too bad Miz Cracker isn’t here. Maybe then she would have won something.”

“Oho!” Ru laughs, a bit scandalized. “Not a match, my dear.”

Cracker shrugs and throws the card over her shoulder. “Someone save that so I can call and ask Cracker if she wants more of my sloppy seconds.”

“Adore Delanoooo!” Ru trills the last syllable as he turns to Shea, who tosses the long green waves over her shoulder.

She flashes Ru one of Adore’s signature winking, mouth-open, tongue-out smiles with a peace sign.

“What did you write down, darling?”

“I said ‘party with each other,’” Shea drawls in Adore’s affected tone, adding more fry than is entirely necessary, but it gets the point across. She’s goofy and perfect.

“Party with each other,” Ru repeats.

“Yeah! I mean, you guys all look super cool. I’d hang out with you, smoke a blunt, eat some pizza. You know, party!”

Ru tsks. “Sounds like a great Tuesday night, but unfortunately not a match.” He turns to face the contestants, where Katya is sitting with her hands folded primly on her stack of cards. “Back to Katya! In All Stars Season 3, BenDeLaCreme shocked the judges by sending herself home. This season, Michelle Visage will shock everyone by BLANKING herself.”

Katya takes a minute to ponder, pressing her index finger to her lips then writes something on her card. Nina and the other queens follow suit, and when their time is up, Katya is smiling ferociously.

“Let’s see what our contestant put down. Katya?” Ru faces her. “Michelle Visage will shock everyone by doing what?”

Katya clears her throat. “I could have gone the obvious route, you know.”

“Obviously,” Ru says.

“Instead, I said, ‘sacrificing herself.’”

“Sacrificing herself?”

“With fire. To the Gods, honey.”

“Okay… Any particular God?”

“…Satan.”

“Of course. Let’s go to our queens. Detox, this season Michelle Visage will shock everyone by…”

Brooke flips his card over. “I said motorboating herself. I mean, if anyone could do it -”

“I don’t know how shocking that would be… but either way, I’m sorry, not a match. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo! What did you say, my dear?”

Nina flips over his card. “I said cloning herself.”

“Cloning herself?”

“Mmm-hmm. Need two of her to manage your ass.”

Ru laughs, and Nina thanks every God he knows the name of. The burn landed!

“And now she got that done, she’s gonna clone me some Canadian bacon.”

“Is that right?”

“Hell yeah it is.” Nina does not look at Brooke or Vanjie. “But only the good parts, baby. Trim all the fat; I’m a growing girl, need more protein in my diet.”

“Bitch, you couldn’t handle that much protein,” Vanjie-as-Valentina cuts in, and Ru fans himself.

“A controversial question! Let’s go to Monique Heart, see what she said. Michelle Visage will shock everyone by…”

“I said believing in herself.” Asia-as-Monique-turns her face to the camera. “Like I believe in myself, America. And that’s why I’d like to take this moment to announce my run for office.”

“Which office is that?”

“Whichever.” Asia’s got Monique’s flighty passion down perfectly. “One of the big ones, you know. And thank you, America, for your trust. I won’t let you down.”

Ru reads the last question of the night. “In All Stars Season 4, history was made when we celebrated the first Drag Race double crowning. This season, we’ll be making history with a double BLANK.”

Shangela is already shaking her head knowingly. There’s a scrabble of writing from the queens.

“Ladies, pens down. Shangela?”

“I’m giving the people what they want, Ru. I ain’t proud. I had to say a double fisting.”

“Did you really have to say it though?”

“Actually, mama, I did. The PAs have my children.”

“Ha! All right ladies, let’s see if we have any matches. Adore Delano. This season we’ll be making history with the first double BLANK.”

Shea holds up her card proudly. “I said the first double… elimination.”

Ru is quiet for a moment. “That’s actually been done before.”

“It has?”

“A couple of times, actually.”

“Oh.” Shea is unfazed. “Well. I don’t watch the show.”

Ru wheeze laughs, and so does Nina.

“I mean, I don’t know who any of you people are.”

“Sorry, Adore. Not a match.”

Shea shrugs, flashes a peace sign.

“What about you Katya?” Ru moves over to Ivy.

“Well, I thought about what Trixie and I like to do behind the scenes of ‘UNHhhh’ and I just had to put - fisting!” She flips her card.

“It’s a match!” Ru exclaims.

Everyone is laughing, but Nina can’t help check out the subjects of Ivy’s joke. The real Katya Zamo is smiling but - her teeth look clenched. And over with the mentors, Trixie Mattel is not smiling at all. She’s staring at her hands in her lap, systematically picking at the baby pink polish that adorns her fingernails. Hopefully none of the cameras pick up on that.

“I’ll see you later tonight!” Ivy continues, pointing at Trixie. There’s a halfway amused smile on Trixie’s face right away, but Nina feels like he was punched in the stomach. Something’s going on between the two of them, clearly. It hurts to watch - not like watching Vanjie and Brooke hurts (that’s more like watching two attractive bricks smash together). But Trixie and Katya - there’s so much history there. So much darkness. And God knows enough people have been convinced they’re in love -

“Monique Heart, what did you put down? This season we’ll be making history with the first double BLANK.”

“I said the first double crowning, dahling.”

“I’m sorry Monique, we already did that as well.”

“I know y’all did it, but I feel like it didn’t really count because my ass wasn’t wearing one of those crowns. It should have been me, and that’s a fact, America. And facts are - what? Facts.”

Ru laughs for a moment before turning to Nina. “What about Miss Vaaaanjie?”

“I said the first double wedding. And before y’all even ask: I do.” Nina glances over at Brooke, hoping he isn’t hitting this note a bit too hard.

“You do? Who’s the other happy couple?”

Ivy interrupts before Nina can answer. “Trixie! I’ve been meaning to ask you!”

“Oh honey,” Trixie calls out, looking flushed and uncomfortable. “I know I said I’d give more to charity this year, honey, but my generosity has limits.”

Behind her podium, Katya’s face is absolutely expressionless.

“Well, queens, we’re out of time,” Ru announces. “Which means the winner is… Xanax! Talk to your pharmacist. See you next time on the Snatch Game!”

Nina throws ‘deuces’ at the cameras as they get some closing B-roll, keeping up his Vanjie-persona until the very end. As soon as the director yells “cut!” Nina lets out the breath he’s been holding for the past two hours. God, it went by fast, but now he’s feeling every second of it. His muscles ache like he ran a marathon this morning and then tried kick-boxing for the first time.

“Nice work, ladies,” P.A.’s are congratulating them as they leave the set, but Nina barely hears a word. He de-drags, does some of the talking head interviews he loves so much (has to look shady about Nina B.’s performance, and worried about Brooke. Nina doesn’t put on an act or anything - he is kinda worried about Brooke. Brooke did ‘okay’ - better than Celine for sure - but didn’t stand out the way some of the other queens did. And if Brooke goes home tomorrow night - fuck. Nina doesn’t quite know how he feels about that).

Brooke was also kind of weird as they took off their paint in the Werk Room. Nina thought at first that he was in his head about the Snatch Game, but now he’s starting to wonder if his answers as Vanjie might have fucked Brooke up a bit. He hasn’t had a chance to address it, but he’s going to have to tomorrow, just to make sure they’re cool. He thinks it will be okay. He’s pretty sure. Basically. Almost positive.

Nina might be working through some latent confidence issues as he pushes himself for four miles on the elliptical later that night in the hotel (work through the pain, he reminds himself), but it’s fine really. Nothing to see here. Move along.

His legs ache and his face drips sweat, but he feels—good, actually. Solid about his performance. (He did last year, too, but he’s trying not to think about that.)

Dolly is singing about ways to make a living in his ears. He’s not assuming - but he is preparing. Just in case. If he has to lipsync for his legacy, he wants to be ready. Wants to win this one more than any other challenge, and call him crazy, but he feels like there’s a real chance. He can’t pinpoint why exactly, but there’s some kind of feeling settling down into his bones, making him think that maybe maybe maybe—

Underneath that, something uncomfortable has wormed its way into his psyche. It has almost nothing to do with the actual competition. It’s stupid and predictable and oh-so-not what he should be concerned with while on the set of All Stars for Christ’s sake. But he is and he’s here and he’s feeling things, and Nina taught himself a long time ago that feeling things fully for a while and then letting them go is far more beneficial to his mental health than taking the Brooke route and bottling everything up and burying it under vodka cranberries and couch cushions.

So sure. Okay. He’s feeling some kind of way about this thing that he saw that he wasn’t even supposed to see and isn’t even any of his business, but that’s just Nina’s luck for you. So that’s what he focuses on (or tries not to) as he turns up the resistance and pushes through the last of his workout.

He’d risked a glance back at Monét right before the PAs had shoved them off the soundstage. He’s in the business of gem collecting now, savoring those moments, polishing them up for later use, and maybe he wanted a ruby tinted the exact shade of Monét’s lipstick as they’d smiled across the room at each other.

Instead, he’d seen Monét reaching out to Shangela, crimson lips puckered, arms outstretched, ready for the kiss Nina couldn’t make himself watch.

Maybe they had kissed, Nina didn’t know; he’d made himself turn away before he could inflict any more psychological damage on himself. (He’s choosing healthier options now, remember.)

Of course they hadn’t had a moment after the last runway. Why would he think that? When Monét could have anyone he wants, and Nina is practically an amorphous blob. Like. He knows drag queens are all touchy-cuddly most of the time, and he knows that there’s probably nothing going on between Monét and pretty, perfect, halleloo-ing Shangela. But there could be, right? And goddamn, that would actually make sense. As opposed to whatever madness was going on in Nina’s head last night.

He adds even more resistance to the elliptical - just for “fun.” Or maybe spite. And yeah, okay, one night of really solid work in the hotel gym isn’t going to turn him into Naomi Smalls with legs up to his asshole or anything, but it’s a start. And the sooner Nina can convince himself that he isn’t doing this for Monét (or anyone other than himself because he likes exercise, damn it), the better.

He’s a grown-ass adult. He recognizes delusion when he sees it in the mirror every morning. It’s time to face facts—he and Monét had one (wondrously) sensual, albeit (incredibly) drunken night months ago. Monét had left the ball in Nina’s court. Nina was too chickenshit to do anything about it. Now they’re tentative friends (Monét is his mentor after all), Nina might be going crazy (this whole bursting-into-song-but-not-really thing has gone too far), and it’s all just so messy.

Nina wipes his face, stretches, and heads out of the hotel gym. He probably looks like a sweaty disaster (okay, there’s no ‘probably’ about it) and he’s waiting for the elevator down to the floor with his room, when the doors “ding” open and he’s face to face with Monét.

Could be worse. Could be Branjie again.

“Get in loser, we’re going drinking!” Monét says, with a wide smile on his face.

He’s so fucking charming that Nina momentarily forgets that he himself is a hot damn mess. Literally, like hot. Dripping with sweat.

“Um.” He gets into the elevator anyway because - he’s gotta go somewhere. “Are we?”

“If you want.” Monét gets strangely shy as soon as the elevator doors close. Or maybe that’s just in Nina’s mind. “Was the Mean Girls reference too much? I feel like maybe it’s played out.”

Nina laughs out loud, awkwardness momentarily forgotten. Monét never seems anything but confident and composed, and that one moment of doubt is - surprisingly endearing.

Not that confident, composed Monét isn’t completely endearing as well. Like. It’s all good. It all works a little too well for Nina. Everything about Monét is working a little too well for Nina lately.

Shit, the elevator is moving, decision-making time is limited.

“I kinda look like - this?” Nina waves a hand at his damp self.

“Fine as hell, girl,” Monét says with a grin, “and no pressure, obviously. Though if I’m drinking alone at the hotel bar, it’s going to look a little sad. And, look, I can make sad work for me, that’s not a problem. But after the day I’ve had -”

“Oh, the day you’ve had. Yeah, I forgot how stressful it must have been. Competing on a reality show and all that.”

“Fuck off. Uh oh, we’re passing your floor -”

“How do you know which floor is mine?”

Monét blinks at him, briefly speechless, mouth agape. (It makes something spark like a firework in Nina’s chest, shoot colours across the night sky.) The moment passes and then Monét doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed, just smiles like a gorgeous monster as he taps his temple. “That’s classified mentor information.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah. You don’t want to know about my top-secret dossier.”

“No, I - don’t.”

“You sure you don’t?” Monét winks at him, and the elevator dings as it reaches the ground floor. “Ah, shit, missed your stop. Better come do shots with me.”

“I mean, I could just press the button again.” Nina doesn’t know why he’s resisting, he wants to get tipsy with Monét more than he wants to do most things (aside from win All Stars and run for office someday maybe).

“Nah, girl, this elevator only goes down. One-way elevator. Sorry, should have told you.”

“Guess I’m out of options.”

“Guess so.”

They look at each other. Nina remembers the man that asked him up to his room the night of the finale. Nina remembers the taste of his mouth, the way Monét kept kissing him, like he couldn’t get enough. Nina -

- is clearly exhausted. And still delusional. But fuck it.

They go to the hotel bar (isn’t this how all the bad stories start?) and Monét buys them both a tequila sunrise and tells Nina way more than he should about Trixie Mattel.

“So her man and her are split. She’s feeling some kind of way about it.”

“Of course she is. Haven’t they been together for, like, ever?”

“Something like that. Fuck.” Monét drains his drink, motions for another round. “We’ve been talking about it, but I’m not - you know. I love her, she’s incredible, but - I’m not - her best friend.”

“You’re not Katya,” Nina says quietly, and Monét scrubs his hands over his face.

“Yeah. That.”

“So why isn’t she talking to Katya, then? You guys have your phones; Katya’s here now, for Christ’s sake.”

Monét shrugs. “Beats me.”

“Are they -” Nina doesn’t have any right to this information, but - he figures that Monét wants to talk about it. “Potentially… do you think -”

“Who the fuck knows? Honestly, when I said I’d come back to do this show, I did not think it would be like being in high school again. Like who is crushing on who, who is hooking up, it -” He darts a look over at Nina and then snaps his mouth shut. “I mean.”

Nina looks away. Finishes his second drink a bit too quickly. “You want another?”

“Okay,” Monét answers before Nina can even finish the sentence.

The bartender is particularly attentive, gets another round in front of them right away. He’s got a lot of smiles for them both, says, “This round’s on me, I’m a huge fan,” as he walks off to help another customer, and Nina - can’t help it, he’s a masochist - raises an eyebrow at Monét.

“Think you’ve got an admirer.”

“Yeah?” Monét rolls his eyes. “More like you do.”

“Should we turn this into an awful romantic comedy where we make a bet about who he likes more?”

Monét laughs like he’s shocked at himself. “Girl! Okay, but what happens at the end? Who wins?”

“Well, if we’re following the formula, we probably both realize that real love was right in front of - you know, I don’t know. You, you win.” Fuck fuck fuck, what the hell is Nina even saying? He watched too many Hallmark movies last Christmas. “That voice, that ass, right?” He tries to make it into a joke, even with Monét’s eyes all honeyed and serious on his face.

Monét purses those perfect lips, presses them into a semi-smile. “Just… didn’t want to assume nothing.”

They talk for another couple drinks, and it’s - shit, it’s easy. It’s never this easy with someone Nina likes. He knows he can be funny, knows he can bring out the charm (with the right amount of alcohol in his system) but usually if there are feelings involved it all goes to hell. Nina gets weird and in his head and laughs too loudly and spills his drink everywhere.

But with Monét - it shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t be this easy, especially with all the longing covering up the background like terrible flowered wallpaper. It shouldn’t be this easy for Nina to stop over-thinking things and just exist in the presence of this gorgeous person.

But it is. It is easy. That’s the worst part of it all.

Monét is laughing and grabbing for his arm (just like finale night in the other hotel bar) and there’s heat in Nina’s cheeks that isn’t just from the alcohol, and Monét’s lips are glistening and wet as he pulls the straw between them and sips every last bit of the cocktail into his mouth.

Nina swallows thickly, leans into the sound of Monét’s deep rumbling laugh, reaches for his knee when he starts to slip off the hotel barstool.

How many drinks are they in now? Four? Five? More? The room is spinning.

Nina is laughing. Light, airy. Not giggling exactly but laughing and his cheeks are burning and Monét is looking at him through narrowed eyes.

“Be careful, Nina West,” Monét says, and his voice is low and dangerous. “Be careful lookin’ at people like that. They might get… ideas.”

Nina’s breath hitches in his throat and he swallows hard. “Ideas?”

“I might get ideas.” Monét smiles crookedly; his eyes are half-closed and sleepy as he rests his chin on his hand and leans against the bar. “You never texted me.”

Nina’s so glad he’s drunk. So glad he missed his floor, even if it has led to this. Because this conversation, this thing has hung between them for the entirety of filming and it hasn’t been uncomfortable exactly (because they’re adults, thank you very much), but it hasn’t been wonderful either. And Nina more than anything wants to rewind back to May, go to lunch, talk about anything and everything and nothing with Monét until they fall back into hotel sheets and kiss and kiss and kiss until—

“Why didn’t you ever text me?”

Nina clears his throat. “I was… I… I wanted to.”

“But?” Monét’s eyes are wide and pleading now. Still glassy with the alcohol, but inquisitive, bright, waiting to see how Nina is going to explain himself.

Nina is too, to be honest.

So he shakes his head. “I don’t know. Honestly. I don’t have a good reason. I wanted to. I should have.”

Monét ducks his head, takes the paper straw from his drink and twirls it between his middle and ring finger. It sends tiny droplets of tequila sunrise all over the wooden bartop.

“I thought about that night a lot, Nina West,” Monét says quietly, wiping at the droplets with a damp beverage napkin. “I don’t do that. That’s not like me.”

“Me either,” Nina says.

Nina knows that if they were sober this would be a very different conversation. There would definitely be more emotions, there might even be some yelling (although that doesn’t really seem like Monét’s thing and he’s never been one to raise his voice, so maybe not). Either way, they aren’t sober, and now they’re the sleepy kind of drunk and exhausted, so they just sit there at the bar staring at each other, not sure what to say next.

“Why’d you pick me?” Nina finally asks. “For the competition? Because of… that night?”

Monét shrugs and pulls his credit card out of the back pocket of his jeans. “Just wanted to win, girl. That’s it.”

“Shit, I don’t have—”

Monét waves him off. “I got it. Consider it after-hours mentoring.”

Nina thanks him repeatedly as they stand (clumsily) and make their way out of the hotel bar (stumblingly) and back to the elevator. When the doors shut behind them, Nina has a brief flash of all the things that two consenting adults can get up to in an elevator (some of which he has seen in recent days). But no. No. They had their chance, right? The ship has sailed.

Nina’s room is a few floors beneath the mentors’ (apparently), so he steps off before Monét.

“Can you find your way back to your room?” Monét asks, and Nina wishes he could says ‘no. No, I’m going to get completely lost, no, I’ll fall down every two steps if I don’t have you holding me up. No, I need you to linger in my doorway, I need to panic about whether I should try to kiss you goodnight, I need to think about inviting you in.

(I wouldn’t. Of course I wouldn’t. So - unprofessional. But - it’d be nice to think about.)’

“Yeah.” He smiles. “I’ll manage.”

Monét grins. Nina likes to think there’s a bit of disappointment around the edges of it, but he’s also a couple drinks in, and wears the rosiest of glasses at the best of times.

“Thanks for the company and conversation, Nina West.”

Nina nods. Doesn’t touch him, doesn’t look over his shoulder at Monét as he leaves the elevator.

But he doesn’t go back to his room either.

He wanders the hotel. Presses the down button and gets on a different elevator a few minutes later.

Nina’s going to regret this tomorrow when he’s exhausted, but he just can’t imagine shutting himself in his dark little room and lying down right now. He’s vibrating, on edge. It’s a bad idea, because there’s nothing more depressing than a silent hotel after midnight - something about the lateness of the hour makes all the shine come off. Nina’s feet lead him down one hallway and down another, and he doesn’t realize he’s heading to their usual breakfast-conference room until he hears… music?

Yes, there’s definitely music coming out of there, the casual strumming of a stringed instrument that doesn’t have anywhere to go. Someone might be humming too, it’s hard to tell from a distance.

Nina follows the sound.

The door is open, just a bit, and all the lights are on. Sitting alone in the room is Trixie Mattel, bent in concentration over her autoharp.

Out of drag, she looks smaller, more vulnerable. It’s clear just how young she is. She’s picking at a tune, murmuring something under her breath. Nina suddenly feels a warm breeze against his skin, and the melody that Trixie’s playing becomes clearer, a delicate bluegrass riff that would be at home on Nina’s old Emmylou Harris or Linda Ronstadt records.

Along with the warm breeze comes a gust of dandelion seeds, floating through the hallway like tiny wisps of cotton. Nina feels like he’s alone with Trixie in the middle of a waving wheat field, sun-baked and desolate. He can smell the cracked soil beneath his feet, hear the sound of crickets chirping in time with Trixie’s brittle melody.

Oh no. That thing is happening again.

Trixie starts to sing:

“You’re the brightest star in any room.

I’m never lonelier than when I’m with you.

I miss something that’s never happened.

I miss a place I’ve never been to.”

Her voice is quiet at first, but it grows louder.

“There are some bridges that you cannot cross

Say it again ‘til I convince myself

But all this certainty it feels like loss.

I wouldn’t risk this much for no one else.”

Trixie gets to her feet, starts walking through the wheatfield as she sings the chorus.

“And there’s a wide field between us

How you traveled all those miles without me I don’t understand

I’m always on the edge of falling

And you could pull me over just by reaching out your hand

If you’d only take that chance.”

She keeps plucking at the harp, and Nina feels words welling up inside him, ready to spill from his mouth (when he starts singing, he’s thinking of Monét. Because of course he is.)

“This sort of thing, it don’t come easy

I never know just what to do or say

It feels impossible, believe me

That you would ever look at me that way.”

He thinks of Monét’s lips on Shangela’s after the Snatch Game. He thinks of Monét’s eyes on him at the bar. (“Be careful lookin’ at people like that, Nina West.”)

“There are some bridges that you cannot cross

I built up walls around this paper heart

But when I see you I forget it

All of the reasons we should be apart.”

Trixie harmonizes along with Nina as he sings the chorus.

“And there’s a wide field between us

How I traveled all these miles, baby, I don’t understand

I’m always on the edge of falling

And you could pull me over by just reaching out your hand

But could I ever take that chance?”

Nina sings the last line one more time, feeling the weight of his hopeless longing rising like a tide inside his chest. “If you’d only take that chance…”

“Nina?”

“Um.”

Trixie is sitting in the conference room, staring at him. She’s holding her autoharp but there’s no flowing wheatfields or whatever. Somehow Nina ended up in the doorway, just standing there. Fuck’s sake. Is he dissociating? Musically??? This is unbearable.

“How long have you been there?” Trixie asks, confused.

“Um, just got - here, so -” Nina’s face is probably turning bright red, and he’s hoping against that he hasn’t just been shouting song lyrics blankly at a terrified Trixie Mattel for the past few minutes. “Are you okay?”

Trixie winces. Then she nods.

“Yeah, of course. Just - yes. Couldn’t sleep. Figuring some - stuff out. You?”

“Just - you know. Having an emotional spiral.”

“Oh honey…” Trixie’s smiling but her voice is soft and sad. “My first perm was an emotional spiral, honey.”

Nina laughs in a brittle way, because 1) Trixie’s hilarious and 2) it’s obvious she’s trying to make him feel better.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” Trixie sighs, shakes her head. “But thanks.”

Nina leaves her to it. After - whatever that just was - he feels ready to crash at long last. He’s still a bit buzzed from the tequila, but his nervous energy has banked, and he heads back to his room. He’s ready to sleep, ready to deal with tomorrow when it gets here.

So of course, there’s someone waiting for him outside his room.

“Nina West.” Maya the P.A. gives him a slow, broad smile the moment he comes into view. “Found your way back, hey? Great. We need to talk.”

Interlude: Trixie

Conversation with:

swamp thing

i cunt believe i agreed to this

Fuck autocorrect CANT

It knows what you REALLY MEANT

It knew i was texting you and assumed

I’ll take it

You’ll take anything

I ain’t proud mama

I’m hunnnnnngry

For serious though, things okay there?

For serious serious

4 C-ri-us

GROSS

That’s gonna be my dj name

Please welcome to the stage

Why do I talk to you

Why do i even know you

Yes things are find its just weird

Being back on set

And like also runnign a business and

planning a tour and all of it. At least

they let us keep our phones

Must be hard being successful

I’m crying for you

I didn’t know you could still produce tears

I squeeze em out

Like milking a cow

Just need the right suction

Stop talking to me

What can you say that you won’t get sued for

I want drama

Who’s fisting who

Ha monet wishes she was fisting someone

Shes like middle school crushing on a queen here

Its kinda cute and sad

If love isn’t pathetic i don’t want it

And there’s last seasons whole thing

#branjie

sell those hats

That is not about hats

I saw them at a show in LA last summer

They’re fucked up in love, mama

IN LOVE???

Who even are you

I’m a person who has eyes

that can see things

Are they not together? They’re togther right?

NOPE

Are you fucking kidding

I don’t believe it

Since when are you this romantic

I’m not romantic

I have no romance in my bones

It’s just OBVIOUS

Well not to them

SO

Ahhhh the gays

When will we figure our shit out

Realize what’s right in front of us

You gone?

Yeah sorry

Going to pass out

Don’t die or anything

Whiel i’m gone

Aren’t you sweet

Conversation with:

sure thing

Doing anything fun tonight?

Or just missing me

Babe?

Ok sorry filming again

Call you on break

Do not let me do this again

I don’t care what they offer me

(id o care what they offer me)

Breaks over talk to you after?

How was your day?

Call me if you want

I’m done for the night

Just getting white girl wasted alone

In my hotel room

At the mini bar yes i’m that famous now

I’m gonna crash call me if you get this

Love u

Conversation with:

swamp thing

I dreamt that i was in a bsatroom

At mcdonalds that one you puked in

After the show in philadelphia

Do you remember? Probably not

And you were there and fucking

Gordon ramsay was there (!!!)

And he wad hitting on you

And i wasd so pissed off

And thrn this lady came in and was like

‘You can’t be in here, this is for ronald only” And i fully shot her with a GUN

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TRACY

I just woke up and feel like a monster

She was just doing her job

Ronald mcdonald needs his private shitter

And i just killed her

I killed a living dream person

Thank you for sharing this with me

I feel so close to you right now

Yeah i don’t confess dream murder

to just ayone

But WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

Latent Ronald mcdonald fetish

Clearly

I’m not a doctor or anythng

But i’m sorry you’re dying

Yep yep makes sense

I always knew it would end like this

fuck/marry/kill

me/gordan ramsay/ronald mcD

(you wanna know what the D stands for)

No i want to sleep

For 3 more hours

But i’m on reality tv again

You should havw stopped me

Maybe this dream was a warning!

I’m supposed to save you

From endng up on Chopped

What did you dream about?

U have to tell me even if it’s sexy

That’s the law

Another teeth falling out one

Mama you know that’s my kink

Conversation with:

sure thing

Good morning sexy thing

I’m so tiiiiiired

Don’t make me get up yet

Hey are u alive?

Yes

Yay u r alive!

I called u yesterday night

And at lunch

U ok?

Did u get my messages?

yes

Ok

Can i call you?

I miss your voice

I cant talk right now

Sorry

Ok

I’ll call you tonight

After filming?

Sure

Love u gorgeous

Hey just called left a message

Give me a shout later

I miss you

Brian

Have you seen the pics

from the MTV Movie Awards?

Ummm ok

No i’ll look them up

Ok

Fuck my lashes are so uneven

U breaking up with me over lashes

Lol

U and kat are pretty cuddly

Haha

are u being serious

Ur joking

Are u ok? Can i call u?

I’m out right now

Call you when i get home

Ok

But we’ve talked about this before right

U know we’re friends

Me and Kat

We’re just friends

U know this

Yeah i have lots of friends

And we don’t hold hands and kiss eachother

All the fucking time

So we’re fdoing this over text?

Is that what we’re doing

No i’ll call u later

Call me ok? I love u

U cannot be jealous of katya

She’s my Business Partner

And it’s DRAG

We touch each otehr all the time

We all do

Gotta go call u later

Conversation with:

swamp thing

Can we talk?

Not if ur busy

Let me just stop blowing this senator

And kick the clowns out

And get thes handcuffs off

No i’m not worth it

Keep these good things goin

It was winding down anyway

Gettin awkward

I have yoga tomorrow

Whats up pussycat

This is gonna sound really weird

Have you seen the pics of us

from the movie awwrds

Probably blocked them out

why????

am i like a troll

No more than usual

David texted me about them

And he’s all pissed off??

Because of us holding hands

Like so so stupid right

WHAT???!

Thats crazy!

Im so sorry

This isn’t the handmaids tale

He can calm his tits

(sorry, not to attack him just) Has he seen our shows??

What did you tell him

To fucking call me!!!

And he hasn’t

And i’m on this stupid set and can’t just go

See him and convince him how crazy he is

I’m so sorry

Do you want me to call him

I’ll call him

Tell me what to say

No don’t

Don’t worry

Its fine

I’ll talk to him

Conversation with:

swamp thing

Hey are you awake

If youre awake call me

david and I are done

over the phone

FUN

sorry you’re clearly asleep

I’m just a little drunk

brian

he said some things

that ive been thinking about

maybe call me tomorrow if u can

guess ill see you soon anyway

dont die while im gone

miss u

[allthingskiszka]

My Favorite Asshole Pt.3

This is a Jake Kiszka x reader story but will involve the others.

This will be a multiple part story and pretty lengthy, I also may be slow to upload because my work schedule is pretty crazy. with that being said here we go!!! (p.s sorry about any errors I will proof-read but may miss something)

Word Count: +1,700

Part One  |  Part Two

The next day at school you felt a little strange, as you were walking into the school you noticed Jake and his girlfriend fighting by her car and you run smack into a  wall and fall backward right on your ass in front of a group of people they all start to laugh at you. You got up and walked quickly into the school and into the bathroom you could feel stinging coming from your hands you looked down and saw that they were scraped pretty badly you heard the bathroom door swing open and saw Ronnie rounding the corner.

“Oh my god, you okay I saw you bite it out front?”

“Yeah I’m fine, I just scraped the shit out of my hands”

“Holy shit, that looks pretty bad”

“It will be fine, just stings a little. I’m so clumsy”

“Note to self y/n can’t walk great” Ronnie said with a giggle

“Haha very funny, I should probably get to 1st period”

“Yeah see you in third, try not to trip anymore” 

~Time Skip To Lunch~

you were waiting in line to get your food when you felt a tap on your shoulder, you looked up and saw Danny & Sam

“Hey Guys, Hows the day going”

“Fantastic Songbird, just another day in paradise” Sam says sarcastically

“How’s your day y/n” Danny said

“Terrible actually, I fell on my ass this morning everyone saw, I have been feeling off all day I’m not sure why”

“Well, that really sucks songbird but guess what”

“What Sam”

“You now get to eat lunch with two of the best people in the world and 3 other sub-par people” you let out a laugh and Danny joined in

“Sam you think super high of yourself don’t you”

“He dose”

as you guys made your way to sit down you noticed a very pissed maybe sad Jake you couldn’t place it. You just shook it off and sat next to Ronnie.

“Hey sunshine, you're day turning around?” Ronnie said in a sing-songy voice

“Negative, but hey like Sam just told me things are looking up”

“They sure are songbird, in hours you will be cast as Sandy. Months away for finding out you're secretly in love with me. There is one downside tho.”

“Sam, I can promise you that the second part will never happen. What’s the downside tho?” 

“Keep lying to yourself, that's fine. The downside tho is you’ll have to kiss Jake in the play so sorry about that” he said with a laugh

“Fuck off Sam, why do you act like your five years oid” Jake snapped

“Oh what’s wrong Jakey, Sarah break your heart again” 

“Fuck you Sam” Jake got up and stormed out of the lunchroom.

“Wow Sam way to be an asshole” Ronnie said while shaking her head

“Does anyone know what it was this time?” Danny asked concerned

“Nah, I asked him this morning and he just told me to leave him alone.” Josh said

“She makes me so mad, I hope he learns his lesson or he is just gonna keep getting hurt” Danny spoke with a sad tone

a quite grew over the group and we ate in silence. 

~Flash Foward to 7th period~

You took your seat next to Becky and you guys were making small talk before class started you felt Jake sit next to you. You turned to look in his direction he looked at you and gave you a small nod, you just smiled softly. Mrs.Jones walked in and started to play the vocal warmup. Everyone started to sing, we ran through the first song quickly next was summer nights Mrs.Jones had you guys come to the front and sing. Jake didn’t really give it his all and Mrs.Jones was upset.

“Jake & y/n, Will you guys go run through the song in the other room, Jake you’ll have to give it your all or someone else is gonna do the solo”

“Yeah okay, sorry Mrs.Jones. I’m a little off today” Jake said quietly. You and Jake went to the other room to run through the song.

“Hey Jake, you good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine” 

“You sure?”

“Yeah, Drop it, I don’t want to talk about anything with you” he sternly said

“Oh okay, you want to run through the song then”

“no, not really”

“we probably should, at least once”

“yeah, whatever”

~Sings song~ 

“you were super flat y/l/n, didn’t sound good at all” Jake said in a mean tone

“Wow thanks for the helpful feedback Jake” you shot back

“Just letting you know you sucked, maybe you shouldn’t try-out. probably best if you didn’t” he snapped

“oh yeah, thanks for the advice asshole”

“Don’t say I never helped you”

“I think I’m done here, go fuck yourself Jake” you got up and walked out of the room and took your seat. you started to get in your head what if what Jake was saying was true. Maybe you shouldn’t try-out your thought were interrupted by Mrs.Jones  

“You guys feel like your ready to run through it again?” Mrs.Jones asked as Jake came out right after you

“Yes Mrs.Jones” Jake spoke softly as she started to play you gave it your all just to show Jake how wrong he was when we finished Mrs.Jones had a smile on her face

“That was great you two, now you’ll just need to work on your chemistry”

“Okay, will do” Jake said as you silently nodded.

You went back to your seat, you were pissed at Jake, he really got to you, your face remained hard as a rock when the bell rang you were walking out as fast as you could when Mrs.Jones asked you to stick around saying she already talked to your study hall monitor and told her you would be late. You noticed the boys were still in there, you could tell they were listening.

"I just want to let you know that you have a really great voice, and I really hope to see you at tryouts"

"I planned on, but I'm just super nervous about it"

"Let me tell you, you have nothing to worry about. I know people who would kill to have a voice like yours, acting is a skill you can learn and master, but singing that's something you're borning with"

"Wow thanks, I feel like I really needed to hear that"

Your conversation was interrupted by Sam

"Songbird you shouldn't doubt yourself, you have an amazing voice, Mrs. Jones couldn't be any more correct. Besides you ran lines last night with Jake and he said you were really good, you have nothing to worry about" you looked in Jake’s direction and he looked annoyed that Sam brought him up.

"Thanks, Sam"

“I’m so happy your friends with the Kiszka boys, That's so great. You boys should start a second band and have y/n be the singer”

“Funny I said she could just replace Josh when he gets annoying” Sam said with a laugh

“That’s an idea Sam” Mrs. Jones said while joining in with Sam

“Hey nobody is replacing me, Sam you better stop saying that”

“Don’t worry Josh I couldn’t replace you, you guys slap too hard, it would be useless”

Jake walked up and asked Mrs.Jones for a hall pass she nodded and wrote you all one as you headed to the door you realized Jake and you were heading the same way dreading the next five minutes you walked out the door. As you rounded the corner in the hall you couldn’t believe your eyes there right in front of the both of you was Jake’s now ex-girlfriend sticking her tongue down some guys throat. You could feel Jake tense up next to you she immediately turned her head and laughed in your direction you didn’t look at her, and Jake was looking at the floor. Without thinking you grabbed Jakes hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze he looked at you with a sad look and you smiled and nodded, two can play at this game. As you walked past you pretend Jake just said the funniest thing you had ever heard, he also gave it a convincing chuckle just keeping eye contact with you not daring to look in her direction. You could feel the eyes burning into you both. He then let go of your hand and put his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his body as you got to the door he hugged you and whispered

“Thanks, you didn’t have to do that”

“as much as you’re an asshole, you don’t deserve that. Fuck her” you could sense his smile, jake then did the unexpected and kissed your forehead you felt your face heat up you just turned before he noticed and walked to class. As you took your seat next to Ronnie

“What’s up buttercup, why are you blushing”

“I’m not, just a little hot. You will not believe what I just saw when walking to class with Jake”

“What?”

“Sarah making-out with some dude in the hallway”

“No way, poor Jake, What did he do”

“Well without thinking we pretend to flirt and hold hands, I figured two could play at that game. she was legit standing there because she knew he would be rounding the corner”

“Fucking bitch, quick thinking tho her plan backfired.”

“Yeah, she just stared at us, if looks could kill. You should have seen how sad he looked honestly heartbreaking”

“Sad thing is he will probably just go back to her, for some reason he thinks that's all he can get”

“He can do so much better nobody deserves to get cheated on and hurt so much”

“I know , I tell him all the time. Are you excited for tryouts?”

“I’m a little nervous, but Mrs.Jones basically gave me the part already”

“The boys said you are really good and Jake said you ran lines really good with him yesterday”

“yeah I think I’m just in my head”

“you got this y/n”

You couldn’t help but let your mind drift to jake he seemed to be all you wanted to think about. Still a little nervous you got out you lines and read them over.

~To Be Continued~ 

The plan is to upload part four by Friday, I also want to open request so let me know if you have any!! Thanks

Tags @captainxmoony @lunautica13 @cheeseedreams47 @in-fucking-deed

[thebeautifulisalwaysbizarre]

I was tagged by @vildeliens thank you Queen (of clowns and headcanoons) ❤️

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) people.  

Oz

Skam France

The Walking Dead

Doctor Who

Torchwood

1. Who is your favourite character in 2? Well that one is easy as hell. Lucas Lallemant, without the shadow of a doubt. I just adore that boy... I really do believe that he’s the most developed character of the whole skam universe. Also, i relate to him so so much, being parisian and 17 and queer and just, globally similar. And that Acting (TM) sure helps (will i ever be over axel’s acting? I dont think so)... I am gonna stop before i write essays (you all think this is a joke but i actually write random stuff about Lucas when i get bored in class, thats how bad it is). I just really love this boy folks...

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1? Well that’s an easy one too. Vernon Schillinger, because he is a neonazi, which is enough. And he is just plain BAD (rapist, murderer, coward, blackmailer... you name it)... And it’s not even a love hate situation, i despise the guy so  much, he makes me wanna crawl off my skin whenever he is on screen. Also i think he’s quite one dimensional which is very weird for that show but yeah. He is The Bad Guy.

3. What is your favourite episode of 4? Well that’s a harder one lmao, because you know, the show has been going on since 1963, which means i have many many favourites... Imma go only with reboot, cause thats the one i know better and i have to say it’s the one i enjoy the most. I think my all time fave is the two parts one, The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances, because those are just so perfect in every aspect imo. But i also love love love the library arc from season 4 (i think lmao) because KUDOS FOR MAKING US INSENSITIVE ABOUT A CHARACTER’S DEATH ONLY FOT IT TO KILL US LATER (and overall the episodes are so so good). Also, because i’m a hoe for big dramatic moments, the episodes with the Master (end of s3 and end of s4 mainly, i dont really like Missy) and the two parts The Stolen Earth/Journey’s end (i remember being so hyped by all of them squading up). Also, it’s not an episode but it deserves its place there: the entire season 6. Because Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, Alex Kingston and Arthur Darvill are just so good. I didnt really enjoy seasons 8 to 10 (even tho i adore Peter Capaldi), but season 7 also has some that i loved (Angels in Manhattan and The Name of the Doctor killed me). And the 50th anniversary. I MEAN THIS IS COMPLICATE I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH IT HAS SO MANY GOOD EPISODES (and it’s the first show i got obsessed with so theres that)

4. What is your favourite season of 5? I think i’ll go with season 2 (?), because i love the og squad and they were all in it in s2, and i think the arcs were done really well (and the last episode, haha, me dead)... S3 and 4 i enjoyed less cause i think the teams didn’t really work without Tosh, Owen and Ianto... I couldn’t really find that magic again (and yes i’m still bitter). 

5. Who is your favourite couple in 3? It’s hard to find ALIVE people to form couples with lmao so i’ll go with one that is in kinda stand-by... it’s complicate...  Rick and Michonne cause i loved how they were best friends first and how their whole story was built... It made a lot of sense to me. Also i love the show less nowadays but i think those are still strong characters (minus Rick now lol)

6. Who is your favourite couple in 2? I had to snort. I know, it’s going to surprise you all, but it’s Manon and Charles OF COURSE. Kidding (pls. break. them. up). It’s Eliott and Lucas (how many of you all are surprised) because. Do i need to explain. Just. Everything. I can’t even put it into words. they’re just a perfect match and so in tune and so in love and i should stop now but i won’t so i’m sorry. I love how they complete each other and understand each other, and i loved how Lucas made Eliott’s dream real (polaris), and i love how they arent perfect yet they learn with each other and they make each other better . I love how cute they look and how in love and how raw. I love the way Lucas’ voice softens when he talks to eliott, and the way eliott’s eyes are so full of wonder. Also the way they fight sometimes but always come back to each other and love stronger. And their ship names literally means “chosen one”, how could I not ship? LISTEN THEY JUST FIT OKAY AND I WONT TAKE ANY CRITICISM

7. What is your favourite episode of 1? oh god i don’t remember them all at all lmao but imma try to come up with one (not 22838 like i normally do). So i’d say 4x11 (revenge is sweet)?? but honestly the show is so continuous that its hard to choose one ep... id say s4 is my favourite hands down though

8. What is your favourite episode of 5? YES THAT I CAN!! it’s from season 1, even though i love s2 better overall, Countrycide. I loved everything about that ep, and it still sends shivers down my spine when i think about it. I particularly enjoyed how it depicted the team’s relationships and how it showed that monsters can be amongst mankind (which, we been knew, but still. it was very well done for a show that fights aliens to fight humans)

9. What is your favourite season of 2? Another easy one! Season 3, as my entire blog can attest. It’s just. A masterpiece. That’s it that’s the post.

10. How long have you watched 1? I bingewatched it in like two months (cause i had to take breaks because school) in 2016. It’s a show that ended around 2000 so it’s not like i HAD to wait, and the episodes aren’t really stand alone so i had to watch them in a row.

11. How did you become interested in 3? I started watching with my dad because he is a cinephile that shows me loads of movies and tv series, then showed it to my mom. And now my dad stopped watching so i watch it with my mom exclusively even though i dont enjoy as much as i used to (still love it though). 

12. Who is your favourite actor in 4? Matt Smith (even though i adored Eccleston, and couldn’t appreciate Tennant’s AMAZINGNESS cause i was too sad to see 9 go aoimjdk). But Matt Smith is the funniest, most Doctor-ish one imo.

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? This is gonna sound like a betrayal to shows i’ve watched for so many years but Skam France, hands down. (i’m obsessed okay)

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? 3 because it has more eps and i’m caught up with both, so logically its 3.

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? Umh i think i’m kinda similar to Clara in some ways (?). Maybe. Like in the way we’re both hopeless romantic in search of an adventurous life. Plus, she is a lgbt+ icon and you can’t convince me otherwise so there’s that. i mean i think i globally identify with companions cause i wanna be them so bad lmao (imagine how cool it would be for my nerdy self ugh). But i look like a Sontaran so. Mayhaps i’d be one of those instead

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? umh that’d be funny as hell. The Doctor just jumping in a zombie apocalypse. Though i think they’d find a way to stop the apocalypse, so the second show would be annihilated by the first one. Mmh. Interesting still, up for it (i’m up for anything tbh)

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? That’s the hardest one i had to answer GOD. I’d go with the crack ship, Ryan O’Reilly and Miguel Alvarez, tho they would both kill me and then burn my body if they ever saw this

18. Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? Weeeelll i think The Walking Dead used to have an amazing storyline (the Governor’s arc was spectacular), but now i’d go with Torchwood cause sometimes (a lot of times), shows that don’t try to make it last for ages tie everything better. And Torchwood did tie things well enough imo (even tho i’m forever sad and bitter)

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4? I don’ think Skam France has a theme music?? more like soundtracks (amazing ones)??? But i mean even if it did Doctor Who would still win cause the themes are fantastic (yes i went there)

This was so fun guys so imma tag @evnisak, @isak-valterssen, @jebentnietalleen, @demauryy, @srodvlv, @takaoparadise, @starcassstic, @thebananaslug, @sleepingthroughmyproblems, @akalousthings and anyone else i forgot, or anyone wanting to do this really

[lemonypixels]

Siblings Interview Tag: Luca and Toni Sugiyama

This has been sitting in my drafts forever lol bUT thank you for tagging me @solaria-sims this looks like a ton of fun (and a good way to introduce one of Luca’s fav sisters lol)!

I’ll tag @daisy-glasses and @simending !! I can’t remember if any of your sims have siblings or not tho lol if they don't just ignore me 

1. Which one of you is the older sibling?

Toni: I am by 1 year now, and Luca’s the baby here!

Luca: Hey now, we aren’t that far apart and i’m not a baby-

Toni: *pinching his cheek* oh trust me, yes you are.

2. What do you like about your sibling?

Toni: He’s a sweetie! This kid tries soo hard to look edgy and cool but he’s a big ol sweetheart. And I guess his music is pretty good too. 

Luca: Aw shucks, you make me blush. Toni’s super outgoing and she helped to push me to do a lot of things I wouldn’t otherwise have done and got me out of my shell when I was younger!

3. What annoys you about your sibling?

Toni: Oooh boy this guy....he mumbles to himself when he’s thinking or doing anything and sometimes you just have to poke him in the side and tell him to shut it.

Luca: Listen, okay I- Well I don’t actually have an excuse for that. Anyways, Toni has a knack for being a little...blunt sometimes. She doesn’t exactly have tact.

4. Describe your sibling(s) with three adjectives.

Luca: Hmm...outgoing, adventurous, and definitely frank.

Toni: Passionate, persistent and....sweet!

5. What is your sibling’s/siblings’ biggest talent(s)?

Toni: I mean that’s a pretty easy one, definitely music.

Luca: She’s an amazing athlete!

6. What is your sibling(s) really bad at?

Toni: He sucks at lying. Like really sucks. He gets all nervous and won’t look you in the eye and gives in pretty easily if you push it.

Luca: And Toni isn't’ really the artistic type. I guess my superb musical talents don’t run in the family ;)

Toni: Oh ha ha.

7. Do you have nicknames for each other?

Toni: Lu-boo!

Luca: Toni is her nickname actually. Her full name is Antonia! 

8. What’s one thing you can do that your sibling(s) can’t?

Toni: Parkour. ✌️

Luca: I can read lips!

9. Did you get along when you were younger?

Luca: Oh definitely. Out of all of our siblings, Toni and I were closest in age and pretty much attached at the hip.

10. What is your funniest childhood memory of your sibling?

Toni: When we were little kids I once got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and found Luca passed out on the kitchen floor in his favorite bunny onesie with the tub of cheese balls and cheese dust all over his hands and face. I laughed so hard at the scene it woke our parents up. He just looked hilarious

Luca: Oh man I was so embarrassed and Mom was pissed I ate so many cheese balls, haha! Well how about this one, our neighbors had a pool but they were really mean and never let us swim in it. Well, one super hot day Toni decided it would be a great idea to hop the fence and take a dip while they weren’t home. Long story short, the neighbors were not pleased to find a couple of kids in their pool and I have never seen Toni scramble up a fence so fast in my life only to fall on her ass on the other side. 

Toni: That wasn’t funny, I feared for my very life.

11. Are you closer now or when you were younger?

Toni: I would say we are still pretty close, but definitely not as close as we were when we were kids. We just both get really busy now.

12. Did you compete with each other?

Luca: Not really, things were usually pretty even between us and even though we hung out a lot we usually had our own things to do.

13. Which one of you is more likely to turn out like your mum or dad?

Toni: Luca is a lot like Mom.

Luca: It’s kinda hard to tell, Toni’s kinda a whole new breed.

Toni: I...don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not honestly.

Luca: :)

14. Which one is most likely to have a big family?

Luca: Neither? I wouldn’t mind, but I would prefer to only have one or two kids at most- though of course if I ended up with more I wouldn’t complain! I do love kids but a big family of my own just doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me right now. Plus my family is already big!

Toni: Yeah, and I’m not really all that into the whole parenting thing really. We have enough nieces and nephews to give me the experience.

15. What is one thing about your sibling(s) that has changed as you’ve gotten older?

Luca: We don’t really have time to hang out much anymore, which really sucks. 

Toni: Oh yeah, but really, not much else has changed. When we do hang out, it like we were never apart. 

16. Who’s better at maths?

Toni: Oh definitely me. Luca sucks at maths.

17. Who is more pessimistic and who is more optimistic?

Luca: Actually, we’re both pretty optimistic usually! 

18. Is there anything you don’t like doing together?

Luca: We can’t watch movies together because someone always talks too much during them.

Toni: Oh yeah? Well someone is a cranky shopper. I can’t ever take you to the mall without you complaining about how long i’m taking!

Luca: You spend like an hour picking out one piece of clothing!

19. Which one of you do you think will get married first?

Luca: Well at this rate unless Toni finds someone in the next few weeks then me for sure!

Toni: Wow now that’s weird to think about.

20. Lastly, how often do you argue?

Luca: I wouldn’t say we argue so much as bicker. So I guess rarely! We’re both a bit too laid back to really argue much haha.

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s April 2018 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

It’s the 28th of another month and time for more fan fic writer and fan artist appreciation! This list is a long one this month since I went on vacation and was able to do more reading than usual, so let’s get going with the list of fics I was lucky enough to be able to read!

Everything Comes Back To You by @jaerie / jaerie This was so soft! Hurt/comfort going both ways and Marcel and soft Louis and just so many things I love in a fic. It was lovely and I adored it.

Saw It In Your Eyes by @taggiecb / taggiecb You know that post about the totally straight guy that has a freakout because he saw his (openly gay) roommate with another dude and he’s afraid he’s homophobic but it turns out he was just jealous and not as straight as he thought? THIS FIC IS BASED ON THAT POST AND IT’S GLORIOUS I TELL YOU!!!

peppermint by ihavetoomuchfreetime Okay listen. I rarely read pairings other than Larry, but when I do it’s usually Tomlinshaw or Ziam, and this Ziam fic was fab. It was recced to me to help me while I was dealing with some of the worst spring allergies I’ve had in years and it made me giggle through my itchy eyes and scratchy throat. I defo recommend it.

Friend of the Devil by @taggiecb / taggiecb This is more of the Satan/Santa series Lacey has going and it’s PHENOMENAL OKAY! all of them need read so just. Please make sure you do. They’re the fluffiest shit I think we will ever have Lacey give us. lol

No Easy Love (Could Make Me Feel This Way) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 Alpha Louis/Alpha Harry exes to lovers fluffy smutty shit? YES PLEASE! And in true Anitra fashion, they were both adorable while also being hysterical in parts with a side of emotions, so there’s that too.  A defo must read.

I’d Still Dance With You by @flamboyantommo / kikikryslee Gosh I love age difference fics and I don’t even know why. I’d been looking forward to this one and it defo didn’t disappoint. It was so sweet and lovely and so good, even if I did want to bash people’s heads in every once in awhile. lolll

Don’t Be Scared Pretty Kitty by ttomlinstyles Okay listen. I’m a sucker for hybrid fics and this was one of the first ones I ever read, back before I understood how to use ao3 and bookmarks and such so when it was linked to me again I about died. Please be careful of the tags, but I did thoroughly enjoy the reread!

For the Love of Biscuits by Snowy38 Another hybrid fic cause I loooove them haha This one was so sweet and lovely! It was everything I love about hybrid fics hehe

Cling to Me by Snowy38 Koala!Harry!!!!!! Seriously, this fic was SOOOO SWEET and adorable and I want all the koala fics now. it was so so so cute.

Don’t Talk Dirty To Me by @miafi / miadotfi This had me laughing so hard while also being somewhat mortified hahaha It was such a great little pick me up for a bad day! I loved it.

Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere / helloamhere I’m sure everyone’s already heard the praises being sung for this fic by now, but honestlyyyyyyy! It was glorious and I loved the delving into the a/b/o world while still having so much more be a part of it than just that and the various plot points and everything and it was just. So good. 

Simply Irresistable by @all-these-larrythings / rearviewdreamer This fic was so lovely. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it was one of those where the characters do just what you want them to (or they did just what I wanted them to anyway lol) and it makes for such a great, happy, soft read. 

If You Want More, Then Here I Am by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 Mel scored once again! She just keeps blessing us with the a/b/o goodness and soulmates and just. This one was once again filled with her awesome humor and pining silly boys. It was a great vacation read :D

Always Darkest before the Sunrise by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry Despite the fact the title always makes me start singing Florence (and I know, the lyrics aren’t even the same! I can’t help it!), I really do love this fic. There was such a mystical and almost chaotic feel to it until things started piecing together, and I loved how it was truly a mystery from the beginning as to how everything would come together. 

Cosmic Love by @smittenwithlouis / smittenwithlouis Guys. This fic. I’ve got a few alien fics this month, but I just loved this one! It seemed so real for how everyone would react to the given situation and I can’t stop laughing over Aerosmith, tbh. Anyway. A great fic!

Wild at Heart Ain’t Hard to Find by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen Girl Larry with besties Boy Niam?? In a historical town in the Wild West? Gosh yes. It was so hot and fun and sassy and I adored it. 

I Didn’t Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 Okay listen. lollllll More fab a/b/o, more fab humor, and MONITOR LIZARDS. lollll okay so only one monitor lizard. But still. It was a fab read that I fully enjoyed every minute of.

Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Is by @fakedeepplantjerker / kassio Okay. As soon as I read Caught My Attention, I immediately begged that we not be left wondering and was glad to hear the wonderful kassio/fakedeepplantjerker was planning a sequel. I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE SUCH A GLORIOUS SEQUEL. I loved the first part, but the second was just as amazing, if not more so. Defo read the first part, absolutely 100% read this sequel!

Introduction to Dynamics by @juliusschmidt / juliusschmidt This fic was AMAZING. The structure of it, the issues brought about regarding late presentation and the transition during that time as well as just everything regarding Louis being a male omega and all the craziness with that was just. AMAZING. As should be expected from all fics Alex touches, really. But yeah, I loved this one very much a lot.

Convalescent Boy (With a Heart of Gold) by Anonymous Okay the Gryles friendship in this fic made me cackle and made me think of me with some of my friends so I absolutely loved it, but the way that Marcel was with Louis and vice versa was so lovely! So sweet! So tender! I adored it.

Linger by @yourpricelessadvice / yourpricelessadvice Who else adores slow burn? And people trying to ignore the fact they should totally date and kinda are dating but are pretending they are just friends? Cause I know I do and this fic was fab for that. Plus we got to know the side characters so well and get good insight to other relationships in there and it was just glorious. I really enjoyed this one!

Don’t Let the Tide Come and Take Me by @icanhazzalou / kiwikero Mermaid Harru! With a twist! Gosh I adored this. I was freaking out, trying to figure out how it would all work out the entire time but then I was like WHAAAAAA and it was incredible. Defo give this one a read!

Lead Butterfly by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry Pirates! Nobles! Poor Harry and Captain Louis! Tattoos! Hurt/Comfort! Awesome Niall and Liam! There is seriously so much in this fic to love and I’ve barely touched on it. 

Both Sides by @louiesunshine / louiesunshine GOSH I am a sucker for friends to lovers and this was the epitome of that. Pining out of the gills, the inevitability of it all, you know? It just was glorious and lovely and pure and I really enjoyed it!

Ain’t That a Kick in the Head! by @lesbianharrie and @maybetheyrefireproof/ lesbianharrie and wreckingtomlinson This might be the funniest fic I’ve ever read. I loved it for about 17 million reasons and was crying laughing/wheezing/trying not to pee cause it was just all sorts of amazing. Disaster gay Harry was a gift I didn’t know I needed until I had it and I’m so happy I do now. 

Before I Fall Too Fast by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse / xxSterre All the pining. All of it. Friends that are always pining and loving each other from afar is just everything I adore in a fic and that’s what we were gifted with here. What a lovely read.

Wearing Nothing But Your Kiss by @catfishau / dinosaursmate KK is the queen of Friends AUs and this one of course is as amazing as the others. It made me giggle and laugh and hope for them to figure their shit out. A classic KK read, which obvs means you wanna be sure not to miss it.

The Balcony by @maggieisalarrie / maggieisalarrie (ls2k14) This was exactly what I needed on a horrible mental health day where I couldn’t focus on anything. It was short but entertaining and silly and a fun read. I was so happy it was there for when I needed it!

SPHERICAL by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses)  This was also exactly what I needed on that same horrible day and this also made me giggle and helped me get out of myself. It was just so damn pure and I honestly wanted more hahaha It was fab and a gift.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere / helloamhere Area 61. That’s all I’m saying about that, but I’m still giggling days later over that. Once again, another alien Harry fic! Can you tell this is also a weakness of mine? I love it. This was so emotional and lovely and so much more than a road trip fic, even though I love those too. It was just...I can’t even find words for it. Just read it please.

Peace So Sweet by @shyshyserious / shyserious Another amazing a/b/o fic, but this one featuring NESTING!!! I love omega nesting instincts and had forgotten how much so until I read this fic. What a fab fic and again, protective alpha Louis and nesting omega Harry? Like, if that’s not you’re thing then fine, but you should defo give it a chance because it was lovely.

Whew. And that’s it friends! It was long this month, but I really loved all of these fics and thank you so much to the amazing authors who put so much time and effort into giving me these hours of entertainment! I adore all of you for it. Until May, Happy Reading!

[quirklessbunny]

Safe and Sound

Rating: T

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Gladioulus Amicitia

Characters: Prompto Argentum, Gladioulus Amicitia

Tags: Alternate Universe, Pre-Roadtrip, Sharing a Bed, Fluff, Nightmares, Drinking, Smoking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pining, Mutual Pining

Summary: Prompto ends up at the Amicitia house for protection after receiving a death threat, forcing Gladio to face his feelings. Set after high school but before the roadtrip 

Prompto sighs softly as he steps into the Amicitia household. A threat had been made on his life, and he's not allowed to stay with Noctis because of it. If he's to be attacked, he can't be anywhere near the prince, but the king has also expressed that he's not to be alone, so he's been placed in Gladio's care for the next few days. He stands awkwardly by the door while the butler heads off to tell them Prompto has arrived.

   He looks up at the portraits around the foyer, and realizes not for the first time that he has never once been invited under normal circumstances. Prompto sighs a little and wonders why that is. Over the several years they've known each other, he thought he was finally getting close with him, but he supposes that was wrong. Prompto hums softly to himself as he smiles up at the family portrait.

   A throat clearing behind him startles him, and he turns around quickly. “Oh! Hey Gladdy!” he says with a bright smile. He looks up at the portrait. “This is a nice one. I didn't know you looked so nice dressed up in a fancy suit,” he says with a grin. He stands up a little straighter when he notices that everyone in the picture has good posture, before turning to him.

   Gladio looks up at the picture, then pats him on the shoulder. “You'd know that if you...oh yeah, guess this is the first time you've been over. Sorry, guess I just haven't invited you yet, squirt,” he says, ruffling up his hair. “Here, I'm gonna show you the room we have for you, and then we can play video games in my room. Or work out, since I know you like doing that sometimes,” he says, leading him through the house with a gentle hand on his back. “I'll leave you alone to get situated. I'm down the hall. Iris and my dad are gonna be out until we've either caught the guy or made sure it's a fake.”

   Prompto coughs softly when Gladio slams a hand on his back. He waves as Gladio leaves, then carefully closes the door behind him, making sure it barely clicks. He's a guest in this house, and he doesn't want to disturb anything. Prompto unpacks his bag, making sure everything is neat in the drawers before finally laying on the bed. He knows he's not alone, but since he's not allowed to talk to Noctis, he feels pretty alone.

   The rest of the day passes pretty quickly, once he's hanging out with Gladio again. Dinner is pretty good. He never realized having a paid personal chef could be this cool, but after eating a dessert pizza, his mind is completely blown. Prompto flops back in his chair, rubbing his stomach. “Wow, that was amazing,” he says, smiling happily. “Okay, Gladdy. What now?”

   Gladio shrugs. “I dunno, whatever you wanted was my only plan. Tomorrow we can leave the house as long as you stay right by me the whole time. We could always explore the gardens, but it'd be safer in the daylight. We still haven't played video games, always an option. We could get shit faced drunk, if you want.”

   Prompto laughs at the last option, then nods. “Sounds awesome! Can we get shit faced drunk then play video games? Those are always the funniest Let's Plays.”

   Gladio snorts then nods, getting up to get the drinks. He had expected Prompto to be a lightweight, but even after several shots he's holding up pretty well. They play another round of Mario Kart, and the loser has to take three shots as quickly as possible. Prompto almost chokes on the second one, but manages to take the third one. Gladio puts his arm around Prompto as he leans on him laughing, then rubs his arm. “Kay little dude, I don't think you should have any more.”

    “But Gladdy,” he whines, practically climbing into his friends lap. “I'm having a lot of fun. I didn't know house arrest was supposed to be this fun! Haha!” He flops across him, looking up at him with a bright smile, causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle up.

   Gladio blushes a little, then looks away. “It's not, but you're safe here so we can have a little fun,” he responds, then picks Prompto up easily. He gently tucks him into the bed in the guest room. “I'm still just down the hall, so you can come down if you need anything, alright?” He lets out a small huff as he closes the door behind him, feeling kinda bad for just putting him to bed like that. Gladio changes into his pajamas and lays down, trying not to think about how nice it was to have Prompto in his arms like that.

   Prompto sighs after Gladio leaves him in his room, rolling onto his side. He hasn't slept alone in forever, usually cuddled up to Noctis, his dog, or both. But since Iris is allergic to dogs, he couldn't bring her along, and she had to stay with Noctis. He just hopes that he won't have any nightmares that night. Prompto lays awake for a few hours, afraid to go to sleep, before grabbing a jacket and his cigarettes and heading out to the back porch.

   He looks up at the sky, smiling softly when he sees how bright the stars look. The light pollution isn't so bad here, he supposes. Prompto takes a deep drag, then lets it out through his nose, relaxing back on the side of the house. He looks over when the door opens, smiling at Gladio, then looking back to the sky. “Thought you went to sleep.”

   “Right back at you. You alright, Prompto?” he asks, looking up at the sky. He takes the cigarette offered to him and lights it before sighing. “Didn't know you smoked.”

   “Yeah. Y'all don't really know much about me, huh?” Prompto's smile looks a little sad at that. “I'm fine, just couldn't sleep. I know the moment I close my eyes I'm gonna have an awful nightmare, so I'm just putting it off, you know?” He sighs deeply, putting out the cigarette then shoving the dead butt back into the box so it doesn't dirty their porch.

   Gladio looks over at him then shrugs. “I guess we don't. We've known each other for years, that's plenty of time you could have been telling me, but you didn't,” he says, putting an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a side hug. “If you need to, you could always sleep in my bed with me. Usually helps Iris and sometimes Noctis when they have nightmares.” He smiles down at him. “If you just wanna talk for a while, we can. I'm really curious about how you got such a high tolerance for alcohol. You can really drink a lot for a small guy.”

   Prompto laughs a little, then looks up at him. “You don't exactly hang around me, and this is the first time you invited me over. When would I have told you?” He sighs a little. “I dunno, I've been pretty into the Insomnia underground, and I spend a lot of time getting drunk in clubs that don't ID you. It's actually a lot of fun, and I have a few friends who I see regularly.” He waves his hand. “I don't do the drugs though, I just like getting covered in glowing paint and getting drunk.”

   Gladio raises an eyebrow. “Wow, that's not what I was expecting. Please for the love of the Astrals tell me you don't bring Noctis to that shit. He could get really hurt. Did you think maybe that's why you're getting death threats?”

   Prompto hums in thought. “Maybe. No, I don't bring Noct, I haven't been in a while. It was only really fun when I was using it to forget my shit school and home life. Now I just spend every day with Noctis, so it doesn't matter.” He shrugs a little, then awkwardly rubs his arm. “Do you think I really have what it takes to stay by Noctis' side? He wants me to join the Crownsguard and come on some epic road trip with you guys so he can get to Lunafreya, but I don't think I have what it takes to protect him. I'm...just a loser.”

   Gladio frowns at that. “You're not just a loser, Prompto, you're strong and one of the nicest people I've ever met, but you don't let people walk all over you. We love having you around, and even if you aren't strong enough to protect him, I think you should come anyway. You're his best friend, and you'll keep the morale up. Plus I think he's gonna want you as a best man at his wedding.”

   Prompto looks up at him in surprise. “Oh yeah? Alright, thanks big guy.” He smiles at him. “Okay. I'm actually kinda tired now, so I'm gonna head to bed.” He stands up, then heads back to his room. He has nightmares all night, and ends up having to wait until morning to get any sleep.

   Gladio spends the next day showing him around the property while telling him the extensive history of everything. Prompto listens to everything, smiling happily as they walk around. It makes his heart pound when he sees him like that. He just wishes that it wouldn't ruin his professional life to mix in his personal life. Just confessing to Prompto could ruin everything. He could get too emotional, too involved, and not protect Noctis like he needs to.

   He blinks when he realizes Prompto is trying to get his attention, then smiles at him. “What's up, squirt?” he asks.

   “Nothing. You just zoned and I was a little worried, haha. Can we head back inside, I'm getting a little sunburnt.” Prompto takes a shower then lounges around until bedtime. This time, he grabs his blanket and goes to Gladio's room, curling up in his bed with him. “Thanks for letting me sleep with you. My nightmares are usually not so bad if someone shares the bed with me.”

   Gladio blushes a little as Prompto gets into bed with him. He nods, pulling the blanket up to his chin. “No problem. I would never turn away a friend in need.” He rolls over so his back is to Prompto, unable to fall asleep with the thought of Prompto laying next to him. Gladio goes stiff when Prompto is suddenly pressed into his back, tears wetting his back. He turns over and hugs him close. “Hey, I'm here. There's nothing to worry about now,” Gladio whispers, rubbing his back gently. “If anything touches you, I'm going to have to kick its ass.”

   Prompto laughs weakly, reaching up to wipe away his tears. “Thanks, Gladdy. I've never even seen the place in my dreams, honestly. It just...come with this overwhelming fear.” He presses closer to him, closing his eyes. “Sorry,” he whispers as more tears pour down.

   Gladio hugs him tighter, running his fingers through his hair slowly. “Let's try to get some sleep, Prom,” he whispers. He holds Prompto until his breathing slows and he drifts off again. He smiles softly and presses a soft kiss to the top of his head, sighing lightly. “Goodnight, Prom. I love you,” he whispers, then falls asleep as well.