#this is the funniest shit to me

[leighsartworks216]

Rogue Tav who treats picking locks the same way the Lockpicking Lawyer does

Oh nooo it's locked *jams the lockpick in and wiggles it around with the most bored expression and it opens in a second* Wow sooo secure

Astarion challenging them to see who can open a padlock faster and Tav is like okay sure

They ask for two padlocks. Astarion thinks they're going to try showing him up by unlocking them both before him

The timer starts

Tav hits the padlock open with the other and stares dead at Astarion as he's only just got the pick in the lock

[sunflowersand-bees]

byler twitter, 8/5/22

[huecycles]

speaking of sans, i think spamvil having sans as a casual friend with benefit/emotional support skeleton who just sits on his ass and watches the two kiss, pissing spamton off with jokes about his skill issue while jevil lets out the most inhumane screeches (laughing) and spamton has to ask him why they even invited the grocery store janitor to hang out with them to which jevil responds "he's funny :o)" so sans just does his "heh." is so funny for me to imagine. these three would definitely fool around especially since i think sans is aromantic and on the ace spectrum too so it's all very casual and hilarious. true short kings shit

and everyone else has a slightly (but still far off) different picture of them. spamton comes over to sans' shop, yells "HEY [FunnyBone] CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TELLING THE WHOLE [[Neighborhood]] & THEYRE [HotMAMA] THAT YOU """BEFRIENDed""" ME AND MY CLOWN HUSBAND [At 2:AM Friday Night] THANKS", buys 3 gallons of milk and leaves. so susie and sans talk about it:

"i see you 'befriended' kris's uncles"

"wrong i'm just the janitor"

"bro everyone is talking about it"

"'everyone' ain't me, also tell those two i won't be going to our date today"

"??? so you did befriend them"

"uhh no i literally just turned down a date"

[grantairezee]

I think it's really funny that, when A03 took the Quenya names off most of the tolkien tags, they left it on Elu Thingol's tag

[eldritch-spouse]

Pinnie: all my oc's are cis, ha-ha

*Proceed to make the most trans-coded characters you ever seen*

BUT THAT- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

[dr-ortex-provides]

This was too important not to post

[joy-drops]

Cool things about mushrooms:

unlock new textures

Bad things about em

oh god the Cosmic Horrors

[starry-blue-echoes]

Joot in Italy au headcanon: joot sometimes scream a random sea creature, time stop and beat people. He made the gang believe that his stand gain power from screaming animals name

when I say this made me SPAT my water

[im-not-a-joke]

Imagine if we were right and the painting was Will and Mike on the swings but Will still tried to play it off like it was El’s idea.

“Will this is- you made this?”

“Yeah- well, el, she uh, commissioned it?”

“Why the fuck would el commission a painting of the day we met”

[akandesprincess]

I told my mother about character AI and she said I need to go out and touch grass

[kasplonk]

*Obi-Wan Kenobi on Ellen*

Ellen: so we've got a little bit of a surprise for you

Obi-Wan: omg Ellen you didn't

*Darth Maul jumps out the box, immediately lunging for Obi-Wan*

*Obi-Wan already running off stage*

Audience: *Cheers and laughs*

*Obi-Wan runs back across the stage with Darth Maul chasing him. Both of them are screaming*

I'm sorry, I find this fucking hysterical. Inspired by this post

[limetameta]

me watching shameless s8 ep 7 and debbie works at a parking company called BLAGOJEVICH???? I IMMEDIATELY POINTED AT THE SCREEN AND SHOUTED NAŠ LMAOO HELL YEAH BALKAN REPRESENTATION BLAGOJEVIĆ LET'S GO

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

currently thinking about bryce lahela standing in the middle of a drugstore aisle, looking completely and utterly lost, staring at endless shelves of tampons in attempts to find the kind keiki texted him

[heartshapedskittles]

I adore that blackstar has canon birth years because this has blessed me with the knowledge that akira is a millennial

[unpretty]

earlier today andrew was like, "hey, check this out" and turned their phone around to show me an image of a pair of dreamworks eyebrow sunglasses before swiping to show me another image of the sunglasses and bask in my horror

but the pictures were on tumblr and they accidentally swiped the wrong direction in the image viewer

so from my perspective what happened was that andrew was like, "hey, check this out" and turned their phone around to show me an image of a pair of dreamworks eyebrow sunglasses before swiping dramatically to reveal an unrelated image of stuart little, watching me expectantly for a reaction that never came

[eowyn-igneelcheshire]

One of my favorite things in the LOTR books is Sam being obsessed with Elven magic and wanting to see it and when Galadriel finds out she basically tells Sam "I don't know what the fuck magic is but I can show you the future in this bowl of water if you want" as if that's just a normal ass thing to be able to do.