#this is what I get for having a fucky health that takes a lot of my time

[galehowl]

I have so many older and newer fan projects I literally have NO time to work on and it makes me really sad that most I can do is just think about them lol

I want to go back to telling my WoL's story, there's a Star Wars story I worked on an off on set in the Clone Wars era called Starfall, a Digimon fan story Aurora, and wanting to retell a story about my characters in WoW, set in the past expansions and in a more expanded world, just to name a few

[floral-hex]

ayyyyyyy I set up an appointment for medication this Friday (telemedicine but whatever) and I get to see my former therapist again later this month. I’m kind of excited. More than kind of. Little sad, but I’m lonely and want to talk to someone. He’s a real cool dude. I’m a little worried to trauma dump the last 6 months on him, but whatever, it beats sitting there for an hour feeling like I’m wasting his time and struggling to think of things to say. dang dang dang, I’m excited.

[austinsastrology8991]

Uranus and why your life is a ShiT ShoW > URANUS IN Yer HOUSe <

Uranus in the FIrst - You are the most unpredictable little fuck-head that everyone loves. They always change > there clothes, there direction in life > their hair colour. they thrive in change unless you try to change them, they are the ones changing and dont you dare change them, thats all they have left ;( Uranus in the Second. - Crazy self esteem issues. these people think they are the greatest then the worst person, also same applies to their income because they dont think they are worth much, until they invest into bitcoin and think they will be the next warren buffet. honestly the only thing stable about you is the perception of your value changing. But they love change, something to look forward to i guess Uranus in the Third your brain and communication skills are kinda fucky you know that dont you. you always know how to say something shocking, and extremely good at changing the subject of a conversation, like you dont have to say much, but what you do say just made everyone go huh what the fuck you say? its amusing tho we appreciate you Uranus in the F4urth - Emotionally avoidant, dependent, and attached personalities. They cant make their mind up on how they feel, so they experiemnt with every feeling to see if they vibe with that. mum was probably very unpredictable, and they wanna be like her. they just trying their best to forgive her <3 Uranus in the Fifth - Okay this one is the genius. This one people actually think your onto something when your showing off because you break free of every social convention, and archetype, but in the most perfect way. everyone believes your special, and you can change the vibe of a room like dat Uranus in the Sixth - what a fkn mess your life is. I had this one friend who would have 10 different drinks in his room and he would drink each one sparingly (they were all warm too). he had some serious health issues, and lets not get into his mental health okay. but yall have crazy lives and you make it that way Uranus in the Seventh - Im not a player i just fuck a lot. they choose their partners based off how interesting they are, if you can satiate their curiosity you got em. but if your boring or not worth figuring out yeah g-bye. also they just come off strange so everyone is extremely curious. they get projected on a lot but they dont mind its a good way to find out something interesting lol Uranus in the Eighth - Freaks who will do anything.... and im not just talking about sex, if they want something they'll find any way to get it. masters of attainment, even if its probably not healthy for them, they don't care if they want it they get it. then the object of their fixation changes as soon as they do get it. they are like obsessed with 'progress' but its hard to call it that sometimes Uranus in the Ninth - Clever minds who are always skipping segments of a speech, or a video to find the juicy parts. They have very quick minds that are so easily bored, but if you talk to them, they'll never not have something interesting to talk about. also when change does occur its a LOt Uranus in the Tenth - why are yalll like this. just baffling people like they know how to make an entrance and when everyone starts loooking at them, they decide to make fun of everyone by doing something a lil bit too shocking, almosst making fun of you for looking at them. gets off on shocking ya Uranus in the Eleventh - They wanna change the world, but not in a way that is practical. until it is. They have a million friends because they have a knack for understanding people, but when you ask what they want or what scares them. it just makes you rethink why your even friends with them in the first place. 12 - your crazy. and its endearing but everyone is this close to calling the cops on you or locking you up in a psyche ward. maybe tone down your retardation. we all got something going on but you take it to a whole new level.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hiya sex witch

Hope ur having a good one!

I have a sexual health question. Im 28yo M and am as far as i am aware overall healthy, but sometimes i have trouble orgasming during sex, but rarely during masturbation. Im aware that contrary to popular belief men dont always orgasm 100% of the time and that there is nothing wrong with having difficulty with "keeping it up" so long as its not health related (i dont usually have difficulty with this part specifically, i just feel from experience that some times this is forgotten among people so i wanted to mention that)

I enjoy sex with my partners and im mentally very in the mood for it! Im not really nervous and havent felt pressured with them but some times it takes a very long time for me to finish, like more that 1.5 hours and up to 2 or 3 one time, and understandably my partners dont usually want to go that long lol i also find it frustrating because i feel the need around the 30-40minute mark but like i dont get that final push if that makes sense?

I did online searching and most answers are kinda wishy washy about causes other than excess masturbation, ive cut down on masturbation because alot of places say that that can be a cause but i only masturbated like once or twice a week and now im down to twice a month but it still happens.

Ive also heard that a too tight circumcision can lead to desensitisation and is what im kinda thinking this might be, i was circumcised at birth and have what the forskin restoration website ( www.restoringforeskin.org ) says is a RCI-0 or maybe RCI-1 which are considered super tight or tight respectively, both of which can lead to lack of sensation. And am considering maybe working on restoring my foreskin due to this, but i wanted your opinion on how like legit this all is considering it kinda sounds idk farfetched to me? Like being able to just stretch the skin back out with tape, is that even a thing? And does this sound like a possible cause?

Thanks for all your hard (no joke intended)'work and ur also awsome!

P.S. tumblr is being fucky on my phone all the time so if this is not anonymous please ignore/dm me to say make it anonymous again or whatever tanks

hi anon,

thank you so much for your question! it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it already, and it was very interesting to read.

I have some hesitation in declaring that something is physically the matter with your penis, mainly because you mention that orgasm tends to come at a much more typical speed when you're masturbating. in the case of a physical problem I'd usually expect to see similar results whether you were having sex solo or partnered, which to me suggested it might be more of a mental/emotional blockage here?

but, having said that: I'm not a healthcare provider! and it sounds like a visit with one to discuss your observations might be really beneficial at this point.

while foreskin restoration is a thing, it's also a thing that doesn't have much research backing it up, and long-term results aren't very well known. consulting with a urologist before attempting a restoration sounds like it would be a great idea for you, as they could help confirm whether your foreskin is the problem and advise you on safely practicing restoration if it's an appropriate treatment. or, if that isn't the case, they're likely to have a much better idea about what else might be causing your situation.

best of luck!

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

König HCs

Because why not lads. These are some of my personal ones regarding the lore I’ve put together for him. TW: untreated mental illness, childhood neglect, burn injuries, surgical trauma. Uh, some other shit, too, probably. Idfk reader beweader you’re in for a sceader.

Bro has BPD. It covers a lot of the beloved fanon interpretation of him being clingy and hot/cold and scared of being left. He’s got Fear Of Abandonment Syndrome, and he’s like 10% more likely to make a fucky wucky on himself and end up sleeping in the forever box.

Source: I have it and my baby girl only gets the best of the worst from me.

H a t e s d o c t o r s. And hospitals, and surgical procedures, and anything of the like. He’s probably already got more health issues than a blue blood racehorse just from his sheer size alone - prone to heart issues and musculoskeletal strain - but there’s no way on god’s green earth that he hasn’t been through a handful of major procedures because he’s diagnosed with human knife block and bullet sponge disorders respectively.

Sub-point A: born with a cleft palette and lip. Palette was corrected, has a turned second incisor as a result. Lip was botched. Pulled a pot of boiling sugar off a stove and burnt a big-ass portion of his face, neck, chest, and stomach. Multiple painful reconstructive and corrective surgeries to deal with keloid scarring.

Sub-point B: psychology might help OTHER people, but HE is built DIFFERENT. He’s not crazy, you see, and if you suggest otherwise you’ll suddenly develop a case of Backpfeifengesicht and he’ll provide the violence. DBT? That’s Dick and Ball Torture, babey.

Despite this, he lies through his teeth at psych evals. He knows the “right” answers, and he is not going to get his livelihood taken away from him, even if it’s not exactly what he wanted. If he’s answering for his own actions, he can swerve and intuit what thing will calm things down the most and get him the smallest punishment.

Developed most of his wheedling skills as a kid, parents were neglectful as shit. Mostly disregarded him during his upbringing. Youngest of three, an eldest sister and a brother. Not in contact with any of them.

He’s 34. I don’t know if I’ve accepted him being a Colonel into my heart as my lord and savior, I’m still figuring that one out until there’s more concrete canon material besides a loading screen.

Grew up in a hoarder house of apathy, alcoholism, and depression and it was DISGUSTING. Black mold, water damage, trash everywhere, travel lanes carved through the most useless fucking junk. His parents bred Doberman dogs to sell as guard/security dogs, and some lived in the house, adding to the filth and destruction. He can’t stand a dirty house, and as an adult has an insane cleaning routine. Often stress cleans. You could eat off his bathroom floors.

He Does Not Like Dogs. Period. He especially hates Dobermans. He doesn’t like dog breeders worth a fuck either, good or bad.

Did not have any sort of media or anything as a kid. Parents didn’t spend money on tech or pop culture stuff, they were kind of stuck 30 years behind everyone else. His parents were older when he was born, he was very unplanned and not particularly warmly welcomed. Kept himself entertained out in the boonies, did a lot of reading, learned to juggle, learned to juggle knives. Had a big brokedown half-draft horse to take the kennel dogs on longer walks in the country, horsebacked a lot.

Soon as he was in the army, away from his family home, and living on his own, he got his first cell phone and computer and pretty much started living on the internet. He’s self taught in a couple of programming languages, very tech literate, halfway kind of lives on Reddit (narrowly swerved getting redpilled, thank fuck) on his personal time, and built his own PC set up. Built one for Horangi, too, and gives Stiletto advice on her own build when she asks for it.

H E H A T E S K L A U S

Bc I said so, everyone I love hates Klaus. All my homies fuckin hate Klaus.

König was raised secular Jewish, really doesn’t know all that much about it and didn’t get a bris or bar mitzvah, it’s just like Yeah That’s What I Put On Papers to him. Klaus is always getting in his shit about Austria and WW2. König’s grandparents made it out of the camps and went on to become: a microbiologist, a professor at the Austrian University of Veterinary Medicine, a multi term mayor of a small village/candy maker, and a beloved homemaker. The brilliance of the family seemed to leech out with each passing generation, and König sees himself as the dead end of it all.

König has rocked Klaus’s shit about the shitty jokes before and will do it again.

Favorite rugby club is South Africa, and he has an intense crush on Faf de Klerk even though he’s been traded to Japan. He’s kind of hot for all scrum halves tho lbr here.

Lunch break is over and this is ridiculous, will probably do more later.

[tauforged]

I understand health can be personal, so feel free to disregard this ask if you'd rather not talk about it publicly. But asking as one person with bad knees to another, and as one person working in an aquarium/zoo to another: do your knees often give you trouble in your line of work? Do you do anything special to take care of them and the rest of your body between shifts? I do a few different things at our facility but working with the aquarists is always what ends up having the most potential to hurt my knees/other joints. (I have RA, for context)

it can depend, honestly. the things that give me the most trouble are going up and down stairs (my department has its office and lab on the fourth floor, and we collect samples from the basement pump room daily, so days where the elevator is out of operation or too busy can be real tough) and kneeling down. usually i don’t have to kneel down for more than a minute or two while filling sample bottles or adding buffer to a system, but the feed yesterday was an exception as i was entirely at the whims of the turtle and she was taking her sweet time eating, so i was out there for a good half hour or so. the best i could do was stop every now and then to adjust how i was sitting, but if i get the opportunity to help with a feed again i’ll probably elect to feed from a different position on the dive platform and sit on one of the steps so my legs don’t cramp up as bad.

im lucky in that i usually do lab work, so i spend a lot of time standing/walking which is a lot easier on my joints than sitting or kneeling, and when i do sit at my desk i’ve got plenty of opportunity to get up and stretch whenever i can feel anything starting to lock up on me. i also sometimes bypass the employee stairwell and go up to the office via the main exhibit area, which is almost entirely gradual sloping ramps as opposed to the steep and tight spiral staircase — it’s less efficient, and can be a pain if we’re busy, especially since the fourth floor itself is inaccessible via ramp (our floorplan is a little fucky wucky) so im hitting the stairs either way, but one flight is much more manageable than five LMAO

thankfully for me, the position i work isn’t as labor intensive as stuff i’ve done previously (im never touching retail again as long as i live — stocking heavy ass bags of dog food and aquarium gravel used to knock me OUT) and what little heavy lifting / climbing around that i am doing is few and far between — but i’d imagine that’s different depending on what you do. someone who spends a lot of time physically in the exhibits and climbing up and down off the rocks in the penguin area to scrub it down will probably be faring a lot worse than a lab tech. honestly what’s been getting me the most lately has been my hands 😖 i love data entry and playing with spreadsheets but my wrists and fingers do NOT

[southern-belle-outcasts]

Okay I tried to do a quick scroll before I went back to work, I already walked 8mi today and it took a lot out of me but I need to do flats so it was literally just a uber fast ‘what might be important’.

I see a lot of y’all getting sick and I’ma put on my big sib hat for a moment (I’m the oldest of 9 okay I did earn that title), and also these are just good reminders in general (read: Tagg fucking take your own advice ffs). It might get a smidge lengthy so under read more.

Getting sick isn’t a moral failing, it’s literally bugs’ job to fuck with us but to help you dodge this shit since I myself have a crappy immune system and cannot fucking afford being sick (and apart from that fucky business a few months ago have mostly dodged contagious stuff in the last few years)….continue reading.

Stay hydrated. I’m fucking terrible at this with plain water in the winter because who the fuck wants to drink water that MUST be cold when you’re already struggling to stay warm right now? Not me. So add some lemon (yay vitamin C). I can’t buy fresh lemons. I forget them and they go bad. BUT the bottled stuff while it does not taste as good imo, still has the good shit. So flavor and vit c. Or add it to herbal tea! Something that isn’t monster or dark soda or coffee (yes I’m aware those are part of the major food groups I don’t care you dehydrated walking plant). Broth soups also count- chicken soup is the cure all for a reason- veggies and hydration in one!!!

Eat. Something. You can’t run on nothing. Fed is better than not, period. Eating what you can afford is doing yourself better than going hungry for the sake of those two nights of ‘healthy food’.

If you stopped masking, go back to it. No seriously don’t stop. Buy one with a print you like with the slot for a filter and wear that shit. I’m sure most of my dodging illness during the height of lockdown while being not able to isolate in high trafficked places was the masking. That and the hand washing and hand sanitizers.

Speaking of- the one brand I used to buy is a boycott but there are lotion hand sanitizers out there if you’re like me, and you can just look at hand sanitizer and your hands crack. Highly recommend. 13/10. Not going back.

Indoor clothes/outside clothes- keep your ‘been everywhere all day’ cooties off the bed and your furniture. Will also reduce allergens embedding in the places where you’re laying down. Even if you didn’t shower, you’re doing yourself a favor changing the clothes. Yes I know this is more laundry, so there’s also clothing/fabric sanitizer. It’s like 8$ for a can but that’s an option if extra laundry is a Herculean task of which I understand the trials and tribulations.

If you can afford it- get some elderberry supplement. It’s not as difficult to find as it was in 2020. Ideally you take it just regularly, in a pinch, start taking it as soon as you feel ick to lessen it.

Lots of garlic, pepper, and ginger in your food. That is all. Season your food. Good food, better immune system, no notes needed.

Here is where you’re going to laugh at me and tell me to fuck off- SLEEP. Look, I am well aware okay, I know. But even if you have insomnia like me, your body will get more rest just by laying down and closing your eyes than it will by not doing so even if you didn’t even hit light sleep let alone REM.

Okay that’s it. That’s the post. I am not going to call it no brainer stuff because all of these things I had to learn and some were definitely as an adult, so just in case nobody told you, it’s for you. If you’re adhd and forgot, this one’s also for you. I’m not claiming to be a health expert, I ain’t a doc, just an expert at trying to dodge urgent care while living in a dystopia with no health insurance and I don’t like seeing people down and feeling crappy. :D

[amazinglyegg]

any general headcanons for carrington ?

he is . my favorite fictional man rn . hope you don't mind me taking advantage of the fact that you like him as well and your asks always being open BKDCJSXBSN

Dude I LOVE seeing you in my asks dw!!! I haven't thought about my blorbo Carrington in so long I'm going to have fun with this <3<3<3

Doctor Carrington Headcanons!

Okay let's get this out of the way: he's not just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole!

The dude's so damn stressed all the time! Especially after what happened at Switchboard, he feels responsible because he's the second in command

That's one of the reasons Des trusts him so much. He's not good at lying or recon work but he is good at self-dicipline, planning, and being the only mature one.

Although I feel like he's always been a bit moody, even before all that

Given that everyone other than Des and PAM are basically children with guns (looking at you especially, Deacon) he ends up feeling like a parent to most of the other agents

And he really hates feeling like a parent

This is a bit out there so bear with me, but at some point before he joined the Railroad he managed to help a child. Maybe one who survived an Institute raid on a settlement? They were the only survivor and he took them under his wing.

Despite his best efforts the child died from a preventable cause, like an infection

It really hit him hard and despite his trauma around helping vulnerable people (especially children) he became a doctor so others wouldn't have to suffer like the kid did

Then the Railroad contacted him and you know the rest

He prefers working in the Railroad over anywhere else, though. He's very introverted and appreciates the familiar faces and quiet work environment, plus most agents tend to respect him purely because he's been working there for ten or more years

He has dyslexia. Don't know where this headcanon came from. I think it was me projecting onto him but then I made it Canon In My Mind when I vaguely mentioned it in my Carrington fic (heed the tags if you're gonna read)

He gets headaches often due to his dyslexia and the ridiculous amount of paper work he has to go through (where does Des even get all that paper and ink!?), plus a fair share of sleep deprivation, dehydration, stress...

Deep down he worries a lot for the other agents. If Glory dies (I refuse to let Glory's death be canon in my mind, hence the if) it permanently messes with him and his self worth

He gives off angry Sudoku player vibes. Glory or Des will be like "chill out it's supposed to be relaxing" and Carrington is losing his mind like "where the HELL do I put the DAMN FIVE"

A lot of fanon says him and Deacon genuinely hate each other but I really disagree

He respects Deacon a lot and recognizes that he does a lot more behind the scenes than anyone knows, but he also realizes just how much of a martyr he is and just how little he cares about his own health

In the past, whenever Deacon came back hurt or sick, Carrington would try to convince him to slow down, stop running into danger, and even open up about his problems. Needless to say it didn't work.

They've got something alike to a friendship going, though. Deacon teases him, all in good fun, and Carrington doesn't point out when he's limping around HQ, or when he "borrows" a stimpack or two from his desk. He just leaves out painkillers and antibiotics in hopes Deacon with "borrow" those, too.

I'm very... partial on his relationship with Tom or Des

I feel like Tom's got A Lot Going On and it's kinda fucky that the Railroad seemingly caused his schizophrenia (?) to develop and ignored it because they needed him?

Although if anything it sounds like Carrington was worried about his health and Des was the one to ignore it, hopefully out of ignorance and not purposfully. I can't imagine Des knowingly letting Tom fall into drug addictions and paranoia, and Carrington is vocal enough that he probably would have argued with Des if he knew it was getting that bad as well

I like to think he keeps a close eye on Tom either way. He's always trying to pick up books on mental health because he's mostly focused on physical health in his day to day life, and he's taught Tom some grounding strategies over the years.

[trans-axolotl]

TW eating disorder talk

Hey anon, I'm going to copy and paste your ask so that I can edit out a few details. You didn't trigger me, but I want to make sure none of my followers are triggered either <3

I'm sorry for this message and feel free to ignore it (disordered eating)

It's always been kind of fucky but the last month/ a little over that my eating has gotten a lot more disordered (anorexia) my aphasia is worse and my memory and I need good grades this year! and it's destrpyed my ability to do executive functioning and I want to stop but it's like I can't. I went into today knowing all the facts! and all that! and still I can't get myself to eat and my chest hurts. I want to bring it up to my therapist but also don't bc it's at a stage of severity where she'd probably want to tell my parents and I don't want that but god, I don't know. I don't want to die.

Sending a lot of love your way. Dealing with an eating disorder is so fucking difficult, and I am proud of you for still being here and still trying. It is not your fault that you have an eating disorder and it is not something that you need to be ashamed of. I know for me, I feel really guilty and ashamed when I can logically see all the reasons why I need to eat for my health and wellbeing, but it isn't as simple as just waking up and deciding to do it and being cured. It is not your fault that your brain is making eating very difficult for you right now, and you deserve support in figuring out how to navigate your eating disorder.

The fact that you're even considering telling your therapist and reaching out for support and thinking about all these reasons why recovery might be something you want for your life is something that's already a win. Sometimes, even thinking about these sort of things can be so difficult, and the fact that you're giving yourself space to acknowledge that part of you does want your physical health to be okay and that you do want to live is something you can be proud of. I know that for me, whenever I start trying to fight back against my eating disorder, no matter how small the step is that I'm taking, that my eating disorder gets very loud and starts yelling me about a million things about how I should do a certain behavior or keep doing self destructive things, and it's just so exhausting having to deal with that going on. You're not a failure for struggling.

From the things you've said in your ask, it sounds like it might be getting beyond your capability to cope with it by yourself. I don't know you or all the details of your situation, but I think that navigating an eating disorder by yourself is very, very challenging. I wonder if there's anybody in your life who would feel safer to tell to reach out to for support. I'm sort of assuming by your ask that you are not an adult yet, and I understand how difficult it can be navigating these things when all your friends are also teens who might be struggling with their own issues. Do you think it's an option that you could tell a friend, or another adult in your life, or another family member, who could maybe support you while you think about whether you want to tell your therapist? Or if maybe something like sitting down with someone supportive to help you make a pros and cons list about telling your therapist. I can totally see why you wouldn't want to tell your parents and I don't know your situation and what would happen if your parents found out, but I wonder if you could also reach out to people to help you figure out how to make that decision. I know my eating disorder got very, very loud whenever I thought about telling anyone and about the possibility of things changing after that, but I tried to hold on to the 5% of myself that did want help and that could tell that things were getting out of control, even if the other 95% of me wanting to keep using eating disorder behaviors. Reaching out for help can be so scary, but it can also be so necessary to help us get the things that we want--like energy to hang out with friends, do schoolwork, feel okay in our body.

A resource that I'm going to reccomend to you is ANAD, which has virtual support groups for people of any age, a helpline you can call to get advice, and resources for families.

The eating disorder foundation also has more support groups and resources.

Anon, I really feel for you, and I'm hoping that you can get the support and care that you deserve. Please feel free to reach back out at anytime, whether you just need to vent, want to talk through decision making, want to make a pros and cons list, ask for advice--I'm here for you in whatever way I can be as a random person online who's been through it. You deserve recovery and even though it's so, so fucking scary to think about that, I really believe in you and I'm wishing for the best for you.💜

[thursdaynights]

This one isn’t getting stuck in the mud this year !

How boring it is to be sad at home. ☝🏽NTS: I am minimizing my own depression and that’s not helping anyone. One of my birthday resolutions is to not do this anymore. I would never do this to a friend so why am I treating myself like that? It’s the same way my parents treated me when I came to them with this and I don’t need to keep that up. I can treat myself to the same compassion I give freely to everyone around me. I can give myself the love I so easily pour out of my heart of literally everyone and everything else. Im allowed to have some of that, too. This depression is heavy but I’m not going to find a way out of this just looking in the spot my eyes land when my head is hanging.

My list of Birthday resolutions for the Sacred Age:

Start a religion

Amass at least 12 followers

Have one that’ll betray me

Upset the Romans

Get crucified

RISE AGAIN, HANDS AT THE READY.

Pay off my credit card debt ✅

Do better at not letting that pile up 👀

Start treating myself like a friend

Go to the doctor’s and get my stomach checked out

Solidify daily routine that will allow me to better manage my time.

Maybe start going to a gym to work out. Or take a boxing class. My favorite way to work out is when I am using my body for something that it would do naturally like hiking or getting into a fight. What I would lOVE to do is get into competitive wood cutting. And archery. I am pretty ok with a bow and even more solid with an axe. Recruit me.

With everything that has happened in the last couple months, I am very proud that I got the things done that I needed done like filing my taxes, updating my car registration, and updating my address on my license and voter registration as well as updating the addresses on all my bank accounts. I went to the dentist and got a clean bill of health, too. I know that may seem mundane for anybody else but I am somebody who becomes paralyzed if there are enough important feeling, time sensitive tasks on my to do list. It’s scary and I know it’s executive dysfunction rearing it’s head and it doesn’t make it any easier that the people I leaned on for advice in the past made me feel worse for asking them for help. To help avoid that being put down feeling (what eventually leads to the paralysis), I ripped everything off and did as much of it as I can by myself. Instead of relying on my dad and his CPA to file my taxes, I did it myself on HRblock and got the same return I got last year all for free.I had no idea my taxes were this easy to file. My dad has always made it seem like some boogeyman situation where if I did it wrong, I’ll immediately go to jail. But, I found it was pretty easy to do your taxes correctly and that if you’re trying to do some fucky shit, that’s the complicated bit and that’s on you- speaking on trying to justify deductions to get more of a return. I’m not out here trying to get back more than what I’m owed but I do understand filing your taxes can become more complicated If you have to report things like a mortgage payments or any expenses related to work or volunteering service, or if you’re anything other than a W2. Up to right now, that’s not me and I’ve never needed anything fancy in that regard. I was going through the flowery motions for no good reason. Same with my move, my dad has always been the one to provide a truck and some workers (reluctantly) whenever any of his kids needed to move, but I didn’t want to do that this time to avoid the feeling of being an obligation to him. I rented a truck myself and between me and the guy we hired, we had everything out of my apartment in one sweep. I made one trip to my new studio in less than two hours I paid 60 bucks for the truck, enjoyed the fuck out of driving the box truck myself 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠, and returned it without issue. Moving expenses were at most 260 bucks.

There’s a lot more to get done and I am still very lost in this place. But, I’ve got my hands out now and I’m starting to feel my way around.

I need to remind myself of how much ground I’ve covered, though. From 2020 on it’s been nothing but a freefall.

I cannot disregard all of the movement I made between 2019 and now. It’s just hard to have a bookmark visible on that progress when my entire identity was leveled in 2022. 2022 was the repacking and leveling of a foundation that I will build on with plans of my own design. No more cookie cutter houses. No more following someone else’s idea for m y life. If I want to do something, I will check in with ((myself)) and move on that advice. I will seek professionals in the field I am drawn to and find mentors. Apply myself. I have a life to dedicate to something. I’d like to that be a life of learning about the world I live in. It’s a wonder and I find absolute joy in watching and learning how things exist together.

And trees. This bitch l o v e s trees. Im going to bring more trees in my life.

[our-reality]

python 10, 11, 12

10. do they have any regrets?

i don't know. does he 🙂

AGH THIS QUESTION HURT ME SO MUCH . it's. hard to really say whether or not it regrets leaving skylight. for sure he regrets not taking swift with him to earth, even if sky definitely wouldn't have been as enthusiastic about it as he was, because him abandoning her caused so many problems for them that he should have seen coming before it left. he just. so wishes it could've saved them all the trouble and heartache sky went through

but like. what if she just refused to go. even if he offered to take sky with him. what if he had to choose. is it worth making rest of his life hell just to spare her from that? is it selfish to not want that? and. yeah it struggles with this point a lot. and i must stress how throroughly python does not miss being a god and how much it loves being a human. how much he's learned from others about himself and the world that it would've never learned if he'd stayed as a god. but all of that is at the cost of his best friend's health and the problem just. eats away at it. and it takes him more than a while to fully grapple with the fact that he just. couldn't've won no matter what it did.

of course it gets better when the plot kicks off and he actually has a chance to reconcile with swift, but it also kinda just. puts into perspective just how much he ruined sky by doing what it did. and it sucks ass for him. and he understands why both it and swift couldn't have been humans but how was it supposed to choose? the only reason he even chose to go through with becoming human was because it and swift had an argument over the subject and it made a hasty decision. without that, it's hard to say whether or not it would've ever made the hard decision, just letting it consume him over his years, like everything else has.

and. you know. i could look at all of that and go "yeah that's enough torment for one post" but what if i made it worse. what if i talk about whether or not he regrets the murders. what then

uh. yeah idk if i've mentioned this before but vysel is not. the only person it's killed. vysel was the first person, yes (and he was also the last that's crazy it's like poetry it rhymes or wtv), but that whole Ordeal kinda starts it on a track record of um. murder! basically anyone he didn't like got an axe to their face. and like. he does regret that because it basically had to relearn all of its morals after that and it caused him sooooooo many issues forever.

and it puts a lot of the blame on the vysel incident for this because. well. not only was it the first ever time he intentionally killed someone, but it actually did do exactly what he wanted it to do. without going into too many details by the time the vysel shit happened it kinda felt wildly out of control of his life with how often he was forced to move becase it made too many enemies in one area, or because he was worried its old parents would find him, or anything like that. so that was basically its wait of saying "fuck it this is MY life and i'm not gonna let you ruin my life". and then after that he kinda got the idea that like "oh i don't feel in control of my life? just fucking kill people!!" and. it caused him to do some fucky wucky things to say the least

i could say even more but i will actually die if i write about this anymore so i'll shelve this topic for another post but uh tl;dr girls when they have to make a decision with seemingly no right answer that will deeply affect them for the rest of their lives ❤❤❤❤❤

11. do they have any addictions?

he has a smoking addiction and has had one for the past. 300ish years? his lungs are basically coal dust at this point. he coughs up ash at regular intervals and everyone just sort of rolls with it. at one point ruby's like. hey python do you think you should see someone about your lungs. and he's like if a doctor looked at me they'd have a stroke and die on the spot. and she's like ???? okay. he has no intention of stopping and has no motivation to cuz it can't die by human means and it smells like cigarette smoke literally all the time i hate him

12. do they have any sense of style? regardless of the answer do they believe they have a sense of style?

i mean. he literally wears the exact same thing every damn day. and it's not like the other human characters where i draw them with the same outfit all the time but in universe they wear different shit every day. nah he wears the exact same ratty ass coat and fucked up . shirt that's basically a crop top at this point and shredded to hell and back pants and shoes with soles that flap whenever it takes a step. and it just lives like that. it's kinda hard to get him new clothes too because literally everything is too small on it. he's an actual fucking beanpole

so because it hasn't had new clothes for so long he's just like yeah idk how to dress but i don't care so it's okay 😁 so if he was put in front of a bunch of clothes i think it just. wouldn't know what to do at first . but after a while he starts leaning more and more into it and suddenly it has like 27 well put together outfits and he's like. damn okay . so yeah i think he'd really like fashion and have a good sense of style but it just. doesn't have the self confidence for it <///3 sad!

[cakesexuality]

Roughly 5.5 months on Lupron update

I had a spike in immune symptoms in December and appear to be having one again, but with a different set of symptoms this time compared to the last couple of times

A lot of my joints hurt (namely my knees, ankles, foot joints, wrists, shoulders, and right hip), my eyes keep hurting and are becoming light-sensitive again, and I have this pressure sensation in my lower right abdomen?? Which might be my ovary (the right has always been worse than the left) or it might be my intestines (there's a part in that area that likes to cause problems when I eat something I can't digest) or it might be something else, and my ears and nose are getting fucky again too

But wait! There's more! While writing this post, I started developing the same pressure sensation on the left side, so... yeah, probably my ovaries, then!

I also have a fever most days, which is normal for me during these immune flares (of course my temperature is 38.0°C, why wouldn't it be?)

Laying down to sleep or rest or even just sitting is a fucking Time bc bringing my knees up to my chest helps my sciatica but it also feels like my thighs are squishing my abdominal organs too much so then I put heat on my lower back to soothe my sciatic nerve instead but then that comes with a risk of upsetting my uterus for whatever reason GOOD GOD

I thought maybe I was done talking about my immune system in my Lupron updates, but the joint pain is both concerning and potentially relevant bc that's what would happen to me when my Depo-Provera was wearing out and my estrogen was going up and I'd be limited in my mobility for days or even weeks until my next Depo shot (why my NP moved my frequency from 12 weeks to 8 weeks, to shorten how long I'd be like that, and why we moved it from being done by a nurse at my primary care clinic to being done by a pharmacist at my pharmacy, so it took less out of me to get my shot done, and it's also why I started asking if I could self-administer at home)

That pressure sensation, I don't know what it means, so I'll probably call TeleHealth or my gynecologist or GP... the walk-in clinics here probably can't do anything, so I'll see if my gynecologist or GP want to see me (I have a GP appointment booked this week anyway but atm it's set for over the phone) or see if anyone tells me to go to the ER, bc those are the only options where I live

I'll probably make a separate post elaborating and probably using a Read More for sensitivity purposes, but maybe this bit of info would serve someone somehow -- what's been happening with my body for the last few months has been making me feel as if I can't do anything right in regards to my health/healthcare and I can't control my body through treating it well, and it's compounding with already being in the mental state of "traumatised by my medical experiences" and "the more I learn about endometriosis, the more pissed off I get"... so the short version of the story is that I recently had to call CMHA 3 times in 1 week, I've been in contact with NEDIC, I had a chat with my dietician last week, and I'll be talking to my GP on this coming Friday... I'd want to expand on it in a separate post due to it perhaps being too off-topic, but I'm bringing it up here bc physical disability and chronic illness don't really mix well with EDs or even with some of the language used in recovery (like "your body is trying to take care of you" when my immune system is offended that I have lungs), and I just want other people in my boat to know that they are in fact riding a boat with more than one passenger

I'm currently not scheduled to see the gynecologist until April, I won't be seeing my psychiatrist until just over a month from now, and I probably won't be seeing the allergist for another 9 to 11 months, but things might change and I might end up seeing one or more of my doctors sooner than originally planned

[pineapplemintss]

hello, the reason I deleted this blog was due to a breakdown I had and am still having. But I've had a bit of clarity during that breakdown and realized I fucked up a lot. Also me deleting had nothing to do with the callout blogs or the asks with the exception of the grooming ask I got! My mental health has always been fucky, I was feeling burnout, and the grooming anon stuff was kinda the straw that broke the camels back. I was friends with Aku and I did interact with them. I'm not gonna lie I had good times with them, they were nice to me, we had a lot of common interests, and I really wanted to see the good in them and I wanted to hear their side of things. I should have kept them blocked the first few times but I didn't. I wanted to form my own opinion about them. I shouldn't have ignored the warnings and the red flags with Aku or the shit they did. I'm not here to justify my actions and I want to take full responsibility for my actions on giving them a platform. Everyone has full rights to be disappointed and hurt by what I did. I've cut ties with Aku and deleted this blog. I deeply apologize to everyone I hurt and Aku's victims. For my own mental health I think I'm gonna keep this blog deactivated. I should have also been more open about interacting with them. That was dishonest of me, and I regret it. You don't have to forgive me, and you have all rights to be disappointed in me. I should have been more thoughtful about my actions and how they affected other people. As an abuse victim myself, I never meant to hurt anyone or put anyone in possible danger. However I still stand by the statement using my grooming as a gatcha and the anon stuff was fucking gross especially the mommy aku bit of the post. That part made me actively gag, and again me being upset about it isn't victimizing myself. You had full rights to call me out on the Aku stuff, I fucked up there and I'm willing to fully acknowledge it! But keep my grooming out of it! I don't care if it was a claim or how suspicious you thought it was. It was still a shitty one to make without proof. Saying might've or you took no joy in it doesn't make it better! I'm allowed to be upset when you use something that personal and shove it in my face. That was a low thing to do and you know it. You are right in the regard, I shouldn't have put what happened to me in my rules so much, but I have a bad habit of oversharing. It's something I've been trying to work on. Will I come back? Who knows, maybe in time! but for now, goodbye and so long. If you wanna know my personal blog, message me privately. For now, I'm gonna focus on my art👍 If I do come back, I promise to do better and work hard to fix what I've done and keep myself accountable. This apology isn't damage control or to get sympathy because that's a shitty thing to do. This is a way to take accountability for my actions.

[commander-damneron]

You'd think working in a hospital would mean not having to explain how chronic illness works, but then again, half the doctors in this place don't understand how it works, I don't know why I expected managers to be any better

[pepprs]

ok im back i think. when i made that post the other night my panic attack wasn’t over and an hour later it got so bad that i m*de m*self s*ck and ive been trying to lay low and heal since then but things are just. really bad right now i think. i appreciate everyone’s advice though im sorry if i worried anyone

[glossolali]

TLOVM Ep 12 Twitch Watch Party Summary

- There will be no consequences to Grog taking Sylas's blood sword, nothing at all haha

- It's SO GOOD UGH (Vax and Keyleth dying scene)

- Can you make sure your mouth and nose is covered by the mask? (lol about Percy's plague mask)

- What if they started kissing??? (Percy and Delilah... uh ok :D)

- Taliesin: To me, it's always a sad upset crying face behind the mask .... aw :-(

- They laugh at Delilah being dragged around by Scanlan's hand lol

- This is why it's so good to work in animation, you get to make freaky dream sequences of Percy's personal hell

- The demon gives Percy extra power, that's why his gun doesn't run out of bullets even though we've been having a hard time counting shots all throughout the 11 episodes otherwise

- Orthax's sound design and all the ups and downs in Matt's voice are so good, props to the sound designers

- Taliesin loves every single shot of this so much (Orthax and Percy scenes)

- (Watching the intense Percy and Cass and Delilah scenes very intently)

- (Everyone's cheering/laughing about Delilah being killed oop)

- Taliesin: I will never forgive you Sam, for throwing Pepperbox in the acid, Sam: Well, I was right

- The shiny shirtless guy Scanlan hits on is Phil Bourrassa, who is the incredible character designer, he said "no you don't understand I want to fuck Scanlan so bad, put me in there!" (LMAO)

- Everyone says "awww" like a LOT during the Vaxleth rejection and a lot of the Kiki scenes in general

- Beau was in the chamber at that point if Keyleth had died in this arc (WHAT OMG - Beau in VM would have been SO WEIRD i hate it aaaa)

- Matt: A-ok, would you like me to point you somewhere? (in the stupid suntree voice LOL)

- Emon is so beautiful! Nothing could ever go wrong, it will stay protected forever! *clown emoji*

- Oh, what are those in the distance? An eclipse! Several eclipses! Really expensive sky writing! Weird gender reveal party!

Q&A

Q: When is season 2 coming? Will you tell us when you know? Do you know? Do YOU know?

A: We have no idea (Taliesin says no no no no, Matt fake cries) Q: Tell us about Percy's guns and how the idea of him inventing guns came about.

A: I was having a bad year and processing some trauma and thinking about death, I wrote a manuscript while thinking about a man who invented the first gun, like what would drive someone to invent the first gun? Also was listening to Black Rider by Tom Waits, which is about a man who sells his soul to the devil for bullets that never miss, except for one bullet that only the devil knows where it will go - so a mix of things. This is a thing and I've never tried it before, but Matt let me get weird (Matt: never thought about firearms in a fantasy setting, we were playing Pathfinder and there was a gunslinger class, but this is one thing I'd be interested - unique challenges and consequences to creating guns for the character, it worked!)

Q: What is going through Delilah's head as Percy is plotting his revenge and how to tear her to pieces?

A: She had just lost her love, I think at that point she had just given up and was just like "Kill me and put me out of my misery" but she made sure to say the meanest things possible before she left to speed it up

Q: Final battle is Percy and his demon Orthax against VM, walk us through how you chose for his inner demon to be the penultimate threat of the season.

A: In the campaign it was more of a traditional battle, we just hit him until his health was at zero cause that's how the game works. But this is animation so we get to delve into more mind-fucky stuff. We don't want to just have the good guys go after the bad guys, it's more complex than that. The whole season was about Percy's revenge, and what was going through Percy's mind, so we got to go in Percy's/Taliesin's mind. We never gave too much and we never gave anything away too quickly, it turned out amazing!

Q: Orthax Percy design!

A: We were debating eye shape and other elements, and Phil went on explorations of what Percy would look like if he got taken over completely. We just let him off the chain, and it was fucking cool but not quite right for Vox Machina. It's really Final Fantasy! But it's funny because the campaign we were in at the time (Mighty Nein) this would be very appropriate - there were red eyes there too.

Q: Uhhhh.. that cliffhanger??? What's up with those dragons?

A: You mean just the innocent winged creatures in the migrational pattern? (they all make bird noises lol) I'm sure it's totally innocent. Keen eyed viewers may have noticed an earlier battle this season that may cause some ramifications now. It MIGHT have something to do dragons, you'll have to wait and see.

Q: Anything you regret not being able to fit in to the first season?

A: Maybe a bit more of the Briarwoods backstory, but nothing we regret. Most of the key moments made it into the show, we needed to constantly move and shift things around to make sure that it stays fresh, and just because we left something out doesn't mean we won't include it in future seasons.

Q: Favorite scene to voice record?

Grey: Delilah's bloody death gurgles

Taliesin: The Orthax mask bit when I first got to get into the deep voice in episode 3. I love yelling at y'all, I loved every moment of it

Sam: Enjoyed recording for the music, for Scanlan's songs, cause I did that at midnight when the kids were asleep and the house was silent (everyone sings 'Beads of Love', Travis: MOM he's doing the thing again!!!)

Travis: "I would like to rage", Mary Elizabeth (Voice Acting Director) was like "Is that all you got? Do it again" So Travis really went for it next time, Mary Elizabeth is an amazing conductor - and the twins, hearing them sink into the heart of the two characters, Laura and Liam always level set for us and we just rise to it, they don't get a lot of praise, but they're the acting heart of the show (me: THEY BRING IT TO YOU EVERY CAMPAIGN!!!!! i love those two)

Matt: The earlier subtle couple stuff with Delilah like the domestic stuff.. we make breakfast, we kill a few people, like at the dinner party, that comfortable confidence when they're both arm in arm with other people around - something delicious about it!

Matt: We did it Critters, you made it happen and we hope you're as proud of this as we are, because you did this, it's incredible - YOU DID THIS! IT'S YOUR FAULT! All the artists and designers, y'all did the damn thing! And again to Sam and Travis for carrying this show on their backs! (APPLAUSE AND PARTY POPPERS WEEEEE)

That's it for Season 1! Good night Critters!