#this is what Maria had alluded to man

[moon-ursidae]

still thinking about how after showing the knife and telling this guy "you're next," Joel then makes direct fucking eye contact with him while stabbing his friend.

[tightjeansjavi]

Slow Hands | Chapter 7

“the losin’ touch, the waiting game”

A/N: so originally this was not going to be a super long chapter, but I felt like a lot needed to be said and boy, was I right. This is another angsty one, but I promise there will be more development of Joel & Beanie’s relationship coming in the next chapters!

Summary: Joel faces punishment for his violent actions towards Lucas. Tensions rise when Joel makes some accusations that test Tommy’s loyalty towards his brother.

~word count: 8.3k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f! reader

Warnings: angst, family arguments, bigotry, picking favorites, punishment, tension, trauma responses, alluding to depression, explosive anger, resentment, violence against an animal (not depicted but there’s enough detail for assumptions to be made) mentions of a bullet wound, deprecating negative thoughts, mild gaslighting, unknown motives, mixed emotions, making up, starting over, soft Joel!, protective! Joel, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions (skin color/body type) readers nickname is Beanie (coffee beans) +18 minors dni!

main masterlist series masterlist playlist

“Joel, do you know why the community that Tommy and I have built here has been able to thrive for so long?” Maria inquired her brother-in-law who was presently sitting across from her and Tommy. In short, Joel was brought in for questioning after Lucas showed up to Doc's home a few nights back with his broken wrist and a layer of skin missing from the side of his face where Joel had it shoved against the stone wall.

Word had traveled fast through the community, and Tommy clearly didn’t have his brother’s back.

Joel was irritated to say the least. He was hurt by his brother, hurt by Ellie, and by you. He knew you didn’t have the intentions to hurt him, and he couldn’t hold it against you, but man, did it sting.

“Because you don’t condone violence amongst community members.” He gruffly responded under his breath as he crossed his arms over his chest. His jaw was clenched under the sunlight peeking through the windows as he grinded his teeth together.

“Exactly, so what do you think happens when someone in our community acts out violently?” Maria mirrored his actions as she leaned against the bar countertop with a deadly serious look on her unamused face.

“For fuck sakes, Maria. You ain’t have to lecture me like I’m a goddamn kid. Jus’ fuckin’ reprimand me for my actions and get on with it.” He snapped.

“Don’t talk to my wife like that, Joel. Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” Tommy chimed in as he stood up from his chair but Maria held her hand out in a stopping motion, giving her husband a warning look.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ. You’re actin’ like I killed the guy! I broke his wrist and roughed him up a bit. You both realize I could have made it so much worse, right? What the fuck else was I supposed to do? You saw the emotional state Beanie was in after Lucas grabbed her! Y’wanna reprimand me for doin’ what I feel was the right thing? Be my guest, but I won’t sit around here another fuckin’ minute while you lecture me for it.” Joel threw his hands up in the air frustratingly. He didn’t like to be put on the spot, especially by his own family.

“You’re off patrol for two weeks. You are not authorized to leave your house under any circumstances. Tommy will bring you your meals. If you demonstrate good behavior, then I’ll allow you to return to patrol before the two weeks are up.” Maria spoke calmly.

“You’re forcin’ me into fuckin’ isolation? Wonderful. Ain’t like I don’t already know what that feels like on a personal level.” He grumbled under his breath as he stood up from his chair in a haste. He had nothing left to say to either his brother or sister-in-law, and even if he did, it would have fallen sharp on his tongue from the anger that was simmering in the pit of his stomach like a kettle on the stove just waiting to boil over.

He didn’t even pay attention to the sound of the bar stool scraping behind him as he shoved open the bar door on its hinges before storming out. Tommy was right behind him, calling his brother’s name as his palm came to rest along Joel’s shoulder.

“What the hell is the matter with you, Joel?!” Tommy hissed under his breath as the older Miller brother whirled around to face him with a stern look.

“You didn’t even bother to fuckin’ defend me, Tommy! What the hell happened to havin’ each other's backs?! You knew exactly what I was gonna do! Don’t stand there lookin’ at me like that as if you wouldn’t have gone and done the same if it was Maria havin’ a fuckin’ panic attack on that goddamn bathroom floor!” Joel snapped as he yanked his shoulder from his grip.

“Defend you?! What in god’s green earth would I defend you for?! You assaulted Lucas! Every goddamn person saw you drag him into the alley, Joel! This has nothing to do with Beanie, and everythin’ to do with you tryin’ to be the bigger man! For fuckin’ what? To burn some steam off?! Lucas grabbed her arm! He didn’t grab her in a malicious way, Joel!”

“Oh, so that just fuckin’ makes it okay?! You’ll defend him but not your own goddamn flesh and blood? So be it.” Joel spat as he jabbed one of his fingers directly in the middle of Tommy’s chest. “Y’know what I fuckin’ think? I think you’re a goddamn pussy, Tommy. I don’t regret what I did, and I’d fuckin’ do it again in a heartbeat. So don’t even bother bringin’ me my meals. I don’t want to fuckin’ see your face.” His voice cracked as tears pricked the corner of his eyes. Tommy could see his finger trembling as his brother struggled to keep his composure.

“I never fuckin’ said that it makes it okay, Joel! Did those words leave my goddamn mouth? No. If you would just let me fuckin’ finish? Lucas shouldn’t have grabbed her. He had no right to touch her, but Jesus Christ, did you really have to go and break his fuckin’ wrist for it?” Tommy sounded exhausted and on the verge of defeat.

“If I didn’t go out there and teach him a lesson, then no one would. If that kind of behavior goes unpunished, what kinda message do you think that sends to the community?” He was awaiting Tommy’s answer but when he didn’t receive one, he scoffed under his breath and turned on his heel to head home.

Tommy did agree with him. That kind of behavior couldn’t go left unpunished, but he couldn’t argue with his wife and her judgment on the situation. He was between a rock and a hard place when it came down to taking his brother’s side, or his wife’s. Joel’s behavior had to be addressed, but what of Lucas’s and Seth’s? Was he really about to let bigotry fester like an open untreated wound in his community?

“Joel..” Tommy uttered in an unsure tone.

“What?” Joel muttered back in a bitter gnawing tone.

“I’m sorry.” Tommy wanted to say more. He should have said more, but he couldn’t find the words.

“No, you ain’t. You ain’t sorry for shit, Tommy. Couldn’t even defend your own goddamn brother back there? Fuck you. I’m done here.” Joel snapped before he walked off, leaving Tommy in the dust.

Tommy was going to have to swallow his ego one way or another, he was going to have to swallow it and not throw it right back up. So that’s exactly what he did, he swallowed down his pride with one hefty gulp before he walked back into the Tipsy Bison where Maria was still standing in the same position she was in previously before Joel had stormed out.

“Maria, we oughta think about this whole situation through a lil’ more rationally. I ain’t sayin’ we shouldn’t reprimand Joel, but takin’ him off of patrol for two weeks ain’t the way to go about it.”

Maria raised an eyebrow in her husband’s direction with a tight shake of her head. “So, Joel throws a hissy fit and you then decide to take his side? Tommy, he assaulted Lucas. He broke his wrist. He’s lucky we aren’t fucking throwing him out of town. I could have easily exiled him, but felt that was too harsh of a punishment to instill on my brother-in-law.”

“Maria, I hear you, but what about Lucas’s actions? Seth’s? If we’re gonna punish my brother, we should punish them as well. You and I both know I’d never let you throw my brother out. Don’t even bring somethin’ like that up.” He warned her with a disappointed tilt of his head.

“How do you propose that we reprimand them? It would be unfair if their punishment was as severe as Joel’s. Neither of them acted out in a violent manner, Tommy.” Maria attempted to reason with him.

“Maria, with all due respect, Seth called Ellie and Dina a homophobic swear. He harassed them in fuckin’ public. You and I did not witness the way that he grabbed Beanie. No one did because they were in the corner outside of the bathrooms. He claims all he did was grab her arm, but how are we to know for certain?”

Maria let out a sigh as she dropped her arms at her side. She did not enjoy disagreeing with her husband, but it came with being a leader. If Joel goes unpunished for his actions, what kind of message does that send to the community? On the same token, Seth and Lucas’s behavior was unacceptable as well. “Okay, let's meet in the middle on this issue then. Joel is off patrol for 1 week and he’s on house arrest during the evening. Lucas and Seth will be on septic tank duty for that week.”

“I don’t think it's wise for us to take Joel off patrol at all. Maria, he’s one of the most able bodied men that we have. Takin’ him off patrol could put the town at risk. I’m jus’ sayin’ that I personally don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“We have more than enough able bodied men on patrol, Tommy. One week without Joel isn’t going to be detrimental.”

Tommy let out a sigh as he shoulders slumped forward knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to convince her. Maria was pretty damn hard headed when she needed to be. “Alright. I ain’t gonna argue any further. I’ll let Joel know, but after he’s cooled off a bit. He was practically steamin’ out there.”

It was Ellie’s suggestion that her and Dina go and check in on you. It had been days since you left your home since the incident at the Tipsy Bison. You were practically rotting away on the couch in the same spot that Joel left you. Still dressed in the same clothes, with the cup of tea he made you left untouched on the coffee table. You watched the sun rise, and fall each day. You heard the birds chirping outside the window, and the buzzards singing their song, but you did not move. It was as if you were dead from the inside out. Your skin felt filthy after being unwashed, and you could faintly taste copper along your tongue where you had chewn the fleshy bit of your cheek to ruin. Your cuticles were torn with crusted blood along the edges. You welcomed the pain with open arms. You couldn’t even recall tearing your nail beds to shreds.

When you heard the faint knocking at your front door your head just barely turned to acknowledge the sound. You could hear two familiar voices just outside the open window where the cream colored curtains billowed softly in the breeze.

“Hey, Beanie?” Ellie called. “You in here? It’s jus’ Dina and I. Can we come in?”

No answer.

“Well, it’s rude if we just barge in there, El.” Dina whispered.

“It’s been days since anyone has seen her, Dina. We gotta make sure she’s alright.” Ellie whispered back.

You blinked slowly at the clicking sound of the front door being opened.

“Beanie?” Both girls softly whispered amongst each other as they stepped inside.

“In here.” You croaked. Your throat felt raw and rubbed dry like scratchy sandpaper. Was it not just days ago where you had moments of wanting to kiss Joel? Now look at where you lay.

“Oh, Beanie..” Dina trailed off as her and Ellie discovered your curled up frame on the couch.

You diverted making eye contact as the two teenagers approached. Kindness felt so foreign to your skin.

“Have you been laying here all this time?” Ellie asked as she lowered herself along the edge of the coffee table.

You meekly nodded in response.

Your sullen eyes slowly flitted up when you saw the look that Dina and Ellie gave one another. It was the look of concern, not pity.

“Can we help you up?” Dina softly asked as her hand reached out to gently touch your arm.

“No.” You whispered as you turned your face into the pillow.

“We gotta getcha out of the clothes and into a bath or somethin.’ Can’t just let you rot away like this, Beanie.” Ellie was so much like Joel that you would have believed that she really was his own blood.

“Please don’t touch me.” Was all you could muster out as Dina slowly retracted her hand.

Dina and Ellie opted to sit with you instead until Ellie grew curious when she noticed your record collection on the nearby bookshelf. “Y’mind if I take a look at these?”

“Knock your socks off, kid.” Well, at least your humor hadn’t shriveled up and died in some hole too.

Ellie didn’t need to be told twice as she pushed herself up from the coffee table and padded over to the bookshelf. She was extremely careful as she flipped through the records. “Woah, Stevie Nicks? What I wouldn’t have given to see her live.” Ellie murmured softly.

“She was incredible. Saw her for the first time in ‘87. I was just a teenager then. Stevie always had somethin’ special. Grew up listening to her along with Zeppelin, Queen, Depeche Mode, just to name a few.” You mumbled as you slowly sat up from the previous fetal position you had been in.

“Holy fuckin’ shit. You saw Stevie live?!” Ellie lit up like a goddamn firefly as she set the record down gently.

“Kid, I've seen them all live. The 80’s and 90’s were a time to be alive. My friends and I went to as many live concerts as we could. Traveled around the country at one point in an RV. Totally tried the whole groupie thing for The Rolling Stones. I may or may not have kissed Mick Jagger at one point. He was definitely way too old for me, but as a teenager I could have given two shits.”

“Oh my god, you kissed Mick Jagger? Beanie, you swear you ain’t makin’ this all up?” Ellie and Dina were both immediately drawn into your past as you recalled memories being a teenager back in the day.

“I swear on my parents grave, I am not making this up. Back then concerts weren’t all that expensive, and my parents were pretty big hippies so I had a laid back childhood and upbringing. They were always playing music in the house and took me to my first concert when I was 10, and from there the rest was history.”

“Do you have any pictures? I love Depeche Mode. I listen to them on my walkman frequently.” Ellie stated excitedly.

“I’ve got what’s left of the pictures I salvaged after outbreak day. They’re upstairs. I’ll go and get them for you girls.” Suddenly the world didn’t feel like it was weighing down on you like a bag of bricks. Your lungs breathed in a hefty gulp of fresh air, and it no longer felt like you were drowning in an endless sea. It had been years since you brought up your past, but to see both Dina and Ellie show genuine enthusiasm and curiosity? It sent a warmth simmering up your spine.

It didn’t take very long for you to find the box of pictures inside one of your dresser drawers. They were a fair bit dusty and faded, but they instantly brought back wonderful memories that you clutched so tightly to your heart. You shared the same giddy excitement as the two teenagers on your couch as you brought the pictures downstairs.

You sat comfortably between Ellie and Dina as you went through each picture in vivid detail. You were Texas born and raised, and you were damn proud of it. Your parents were the definition of peace, love and happiness. They raised you with goodness in your heart and harmony in your soul. You learned to share your space with simple living things. You always had a soft spot for animals with the dream of becoming a veterinarian from the day you could walk. Turns out, you couldn’t stomach blood very well so Vet school was out of the question. This didn’t deter you from saving every injured creature that would cross paths with you.

The yearning to own an establishment came later in life. At first you thought about opening an art store, apothecary, nursery, or even a bookstore. Coffee was one of your favorite pleasures, and that’s how cuppa smiles came to be. That was the beauty of life at its core. You could wake up one day and decide that you didn’t want to be the person you were presently. You could change your looks, your wardrobe, your aspirations and hope that you got it right this time around.

“Hey, Beanie? Would it be alright if I kept this picture of you?” Ellie asked. The picture was of an 18 year old you. It was graduation night and you were in the back of some guy's pickup truck with a bottle of cheap champagne in your grasp. Your smile was bright and full of life. Eyes wild, filled with mischievous as you grinned at the camera. You were the epitome of beauty. A woman who had made it, and had her whole life ahead of her.

“Sure, you can keep it. I haven’t looked at these photos in years, so it’s nice to see them getting some attention. Is there a specific reason why you wanna keep that one?” You asked with genuine curiosity.

Ellie turned, looking at you with a knowing smile as she held the photograph gently between her fingers. “You just look beautiful and happy.” She murmured with a shrug. Little did you know..Ellie had all the intentions to pin the photograph up on the fridge at Joel’s right where he could see it every morning, and every night.

“It was graduation night. I was absolutely drunk out of my goddamn mind in that photo. It’s a miracle I didn’t fall out of the damn bed of the truck. That dress I was wearing was a real killer too. It was my favorite.” You looked over at her with a small smile tugging on your lips.

For the rest of the afternoon you told the teenager’s more stories, played a few albums on your turntable. Suddenly, taking a shower didn’t seem so terrible anymore. Ellie and Dina gave you your privacy as you bathed, but they stuck around to keep you company through the approaching evening hours.

For a moment that voice inside of your head was muffled, gagged by kindness and unable to lash through it with its sharpened claws. One night of peace seemed a hell of a lot better than none.

Whenever Joel was feeling particularly stressed, he would turn to the domestic comfort and safety of his woodworking shop that was tucked away in his shed behind his home. He did have a little workspace upstairs in his room. His shed was like his own personal safe haven. He could escape there for hours while his hands crafted something beautiful. The same hands that could break a man’s neck in one swift movement could also be held steady while he carved intricate details. Antlers for a moose, swift hooves for a mustang, delicate ears of a doe. Hands that could bruise, and hands that could heal. Hands that clutched a knife and held a life between his weathered fingertips. Hands that grasped a gun like it was an extension of his body. Hands that would tremble, hands that were bruised, torn, broken. Hands that could hold your face so tenderly, so softly as the rough texture of his thumbs brush your tears away.

The rain was softly pattering along the roof shingles as he was working on his newest piece. It was two horses nuzzling in an affectionate way. It was Tex and Tess. He was working on the wispy strands of your mare’s mane when he heard footsteps slowly approaching the small space between the open door. His undamaged ear zoned in on the exact movement as he deciphered who it was. It wasn’t Ellie. It wasn’t you..so that narrowed down his choices immediately. Based off the distinct sound of hesitation, Joel knew it was Tommy and his demeanor already shifted as he tossed his chisel into the nearby toolbox before crossing his arms over his chest with a gruff sigh.

“I come in peace.” Tommy reassured his brother as he gently pushed open the shed door with his shoulder.

“Y’sure about that Tommy? You ain’t come here to rub salt into the wound?” Joel muttered under his breath, nostrils flaring slightly. He was still pretty fucking pissed off at his brother if it wasn’t obvious enough by his body language alone.

“No, i’m here cus’ I was able to get through to Maria on decreasin’ your punishment.”

“Wow.” He huffed, “It’s a fucking miracle.” He deadpanned with a tight shake of his head. “Y’tell her it’s a fuckin’ stupid idea to take me off patrol?”

“Well, I was able to convince her to decrease your punishment to one week off patrol instead of two. I tried to tell ‘er that it’s a risky decision to take you off patrol, but she wouldn’t listen.” Tommy responded as he sank down into the chair nearest to the door.

Joel scoffed as he jaw clenched tightly. “Listen, I respect your wife, Tommy. I’m all for women’ bein’ in leadership roles, and she’s done a damn good job keepin’ this town safe, but she’s got some poor fuckin’ judgment right now. I give it one day before someone gets their head blown off out there.”

“Joel, what the fuck else was I supposed to do, huh? You’re fuckin’ lucky she didn’t decide to throw your ass out.” Tommy bit back.

“She’d be a goddamn fool if she threw me out. She jus’ wanted to make an empty threat so you’d be an obedient husband. She never wants to admit when she’s fuckin’ wrong. Whatever, I'll eat my goddamn punishment with a smile on my face.”

Tommy rang his fingers through his hair with a sigh as he sank back into the chair. “Yeah, well I personally think Lucas and Seth are bein’ let off easy for their actions. They’re gettin’ a week on septic tank duty.”

Joel turned in his chair fully as it scraped across the ground. He let out a full on belly laugh as he shook his head. “Fuckin’ septic tank duty?!” He hissed. “Y’gotta be fuckin’ jokin.’”

“I ain’t.”

“Lucas has a broken fuckin’ wrist! How the hell is he gonna do shit? Not to mention he’ll jus’ find a way to get out of it. Seth is jus’ an old racist n’homophobic fart. He’d rather drop dead before he takes a punishment.” Joel could feel his blood begin to boil at the distaste towards Maria’s choice of punishment.

“Joel, I know you ain’t a fan of Lucas cus’ of how he grabbed Beanie, but you’re gonna drive yourself mad holdin’ a grudge like this. Seth is your stereotypical dickhead, and if I had the authority to kick him out myself? I would.”

“It ain’t have anythin’ to do with Beanie, Tommy.” Joel was quick to snap back. “I don’t trust the guy. Y’remember when we found those bodies in the woods? He barely blinked an eye! He’s got the whole goddamn town wrapped ‘round his finger just cus’ I broke his poor poor wrist. He’s like a snake, i’m tellin’ ya!” He spoke exasperatedly without a care in the world if he was making some wild accusations. Accusations were only false until evidence was presented to turn that false claim to be true.

Joel watched as his younger brother scrubbed his hand down his face with a roll of his shoulders. “Jesus Christ, Joel. Do y’hear yourself right now?! Fuck. Y’can’t be goin’ n’makin’ these wild accusations without any evidence to back it up! Look, I ain’t a huge fan of the guy either, but I ain’t gonna be wavin’ my finger around like you are.” He shook his head disappointedly.

“Course you ain’t. Why don’t ya jus’ go’n turn a blind eye like everyone else then. Go ahead and be a fuckin’ sheep, Tommy.”

Tommy breathed in deeply through his nose with his eyes squeezed shut. He knew that Joel was smart. Smarter than most of the community would believe him to be. Joel also wouldn’t go and make wild accusations without having valid emotions set behind it. If Tommy was going to prove himself to be loyal to his brother, then he was going to have to start making those tough choices now.

“Alright, lets jus’ calm down here for a second, alright?” Tommy tried to reason with him.

Joel was dead silent as he leaned his weight against the chair with a stern look crossing his weathered features as he waited for his brother to continue.

“If you’re suggestin’ that y’wanna start keepin’ tabs on Lucas’s whereabouts, you better have a damn good plan at not gettin’ caught. Cause if this whole thing goes up into fuckin’ flames? Y’know I ain’t gonna be able to defend you without a solid amount of evidence. I’ll take the bullet for ya, but you better give me a damn good reason to, Joel.”

“That’s exactly what i’m suggestin’, Tommy. Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe I'm losin’ my mind, but somethin’ about him ain’t sittin’ right with me. If I'm proven wrong, there won’t be a bullet for ya to take.” His tone was much softer now as he un-tensed his shoulders and jaw.

“Alright. Y’do what you gotta do, but don’t let anyone, and I mean anyone, figure out what you’re up to.” Tommy declared in a serious tone as he pushed himself up from the chair.

“Thank you.” Joel murmured.

“For what?” Tommy asked with a slight raise of his brow.

“For havin’ my back.”

“That’s what brothers are for ain’t it? Jus’ don’t make me regret it, Joel.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Tommy responded with a slight nod before he was slipping past the shed door and into the steady rhythm of rain.

Joel sank back further into his chair as he faced his work bench once more. He gently blew off a bit of wood dust that had settled along Tess’s delicately carved forelock. He worked on the sculpture for hours into the late night until he inevitably fell asleep at his work bench with the soft pattering of rain to lull him into slumber.

Maria was eating her words after one day of not having Joel on patrol. Cody was grazed in the shoulder by a stray bullet that was shot at point range from the nearby treeline. Raiders, no doubt. This one was just a scout, but a skilled one. Not as skilled as Tommy, who ultimately took him out.

Maria dismounted from her horse as Tommy was checking the body for any clues. Any information that would lead them to the raider camp. His search was fruitless. Unrewarding as he crouched down along the bloodstained earth with a sigh. His eyes narrowed in on where his bullet was buried in the scout’s temple, right between his eyes that were now staring up at the dove gray sky, cold and lifeless for eternity.

“I told you it wasn’t a wise idea to take Joel off patrol.” He muttered under his breath as he stood up straight.

Maria ignored her husband as she stood over the body. “Are there others?”

“No. Jus’ the one. That ain’t to say that this one didn’t come from a camp. Most likely was a scout.”

“I thought they would have moved on by now. What the hell are they sticking around for?” She asked with a shake of her head. As far as she was concerned, the raiders should have moved on by now. What was their purpose for sticking around? There weren't nearly enough of them to devise a plan of attack on the town.

“No clue. What I will say is that we’re gonna have to patrol the area more frequently. Expand our routes in every direction. More importantly, Joel is back on patrol startin’ tomorrow.” He leaned in close to his wife as he spoke. This wasn’t him asking for her permission, this was him telling her.

Maria didn’t argue with him.

Joel was back on patrol the following morning. He remained neutral with his sister-in-law. He felt no reason to be smug, especially when he was trying to keep a low profile on himself. It did come as quite the surprise when Maria showed up on his doorstep to personally ask him herself. Now, he was back in the saddle on Tex with the strap of his rifle resting across his shoulder as he rode next to Tommy.

It was fairly quiet as Tommy mapped out the next patrol routes to take. Tex and Timber were as quiet as two mice as their sturdy hooves flattened the earth beneath them. There were no alarming signs of raiders. No danger that could be detected as Tommy placed a marker down at the midpoint. Joel had eased Tex to a halt as he leaned down and gave him a gentle pat on his jet-black neck. His eyes zoned in on a rustling in the tall wispy grass. He noticed fur and white spots as he carefully dismounted. Tommy was half paying attention to his brother as he was scribbling something down on the map.

Joel had slowly crouched down as his hands gently pushed apart the tall grass. There he found a tiny fawn, not more than a day old, curled up in a protective position with only the tips of its tawny colored ears visible. His face softened as he gazed at the innocent creature. He wondered if its mother was nearby. He knew that fawns were often left in a safe area while the doe would search for food. He was just about to stand up when the wind direction shifted and the stench of death attacked his senses.

“Holy fuck.” Tommy stated in disbelief as he was standing over the fawn’s dead mother. At first he thought this was the work of wolves or another predator, but this was man. The poor creature was butchered in a disrespectful and heinous way. Both brother’s had butchered many game animals for meat, but not in the way that would send a grown man buckling to his knees and retching the contents from his stomach. The doe’s body was mangled to say the least. The details were too gruesome for even Joel or Tommy to describe.

“Wolves?” Tommy asked in an unsure tone. He knew the answer.

“No. Wolves wouldn’t kill like that. This was man’s work.” Joel grimaced.

“A warning?” There was a sharp edge to Tommy’s tone as he leaned his weight back into the heels of his boots.

Joel kicked at a patch of torn up grass with the toe of his boot. “Can’t know for sure, but it’s a possibility.”

Both Miller brother’s attention diverted to movement in their peripheral vision as the fawn had hesitantly crept out from the tall grass. Its legs were still a bit wobbly with each step it took towards Tex and Timber. Both horse’s were gentle and curious as their heads lowered towards the tiny, defenseless creature. The fawn’s coal black nose nuzzled against Tex’s before it collapsed to the ground with a squeak.

“We can’t leave it out here to die, Tommy.” Joel sighed as he placed his hands on his hips.

“What the hell are we supposed to do? Take it back with us? Joel, it’s a goner without its mom. Jus’ let it meet its fate.”

“No. It’s innocent. Jus’ barely a day old. It doesn’t deserve to die out here alone or god forbid get torn to shreds by wolves. I won’t stand for it.” Joel muttered as he approached the fawn once more. The poor thing was trembling as it tried to escape between Tex’s front legs.

“Hey, easy there little one. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” Joel softly spoke as he shrugged his flannel off his arms. “You’re alright. You’re safe. M’gonna take care of ya.” He cooed as he gently brought the flannel around the trembling creature and scooped it into his arms. The fawn struggled for a moment as it cried out for its dead mother. Joel continued to soothingly speak to it while his fingers gently stroked the top of its delicate furry head. Once the fawn recognized it was no longer in danger, it settled in Joel’s arms and soon fell asleep as it was ridden with exhaustion and malnourishment.

“Where are ya even gonna keep a fawn, Joel?” Tommy asked as he mounted back onto Timber with a huff.

“Dunno. Maybe I can make a pen or somethin’ next to Tex’s stall. I’ll figure that out when we get back.” He gruffly spoke as he used his free arm to mount back into the saddle. He was careful to not jostle the fawn too much as he held it securely with his freehand clutched around the reins.

He tilted his head downwards in a somber motion towards the fawn’s deceased mother.

I’m sorry, my dear. Man can be so cruel. So unforgiving towards Earth’s innocent creatures.

The tidings of a new morning kissed your skin like dew drops along a flower petal. You were so grateful for the company of Ellie and Dina. They had shown you unconditional kindness that came purely from their souls. Now you have two new friends. The three of you would become as thick as thieves. Until then, you were back in your shop with the door propped open to welcome in the fresh late spring breeze. Summer was on the horizon in a day's time. You decided to spruce up a little to get your mind off Joel and how you dismissed him on your couch after the incident. Your heart hurt as your mind replayed the image of his hurt stricken face as he slipped past your door. The night was so perfect, too perfect. You knew you’d see him again, but when? Under what context? You couldn’t blame him for not seeking you out. You never meant to hurt his feelings and of course he knew that, but your heart still stung. Why couldn’t you just be normal?

You were drawn away from your present thoughts when the bell dangling along the door chimed. Your heart skipped a fucking beat as you immediately assumed it was your Joel. You were already subconsciously checking your appearance in the mirror along the wall when you heard someone clear their throat. Your face fell mildly for a moment when you turned the corner. It wasn’t your Joel; it was Lucas, with a visible bandaged wrist.

“Hey, Beanie.” He waved with his good hand as a lopsided smile spread across his lips.

Your eyes zoned in on his bandaged wrist as he approached the countertop where you were presently standing. When did that happen? How did that happen? Who broke his wrist? Did..Joel have something to do with this?

“Lucas? Hey, how are you doing? I uh–wasn’t expecting you to drop by.” You calmly spoke as you nervously played with your fingers behind your back.

“Could be better. Nice place y’got here. I shoulda stopped by sooner. What’s your speciality?” He gestured to the chalkboard menu above the countertop.

“Lattes. Any flavored latte really. Would you..like one?”

“Sure. Surprise me with the flavor.” He shrugged as he looked around with an unreadable expression on his face. “I’m sure you’re wonderin’ why I stopped in today, huh? I just wanted to apologize for my behavior the other night. I had no intentions to send you any mixed signals, Beanie. If I was coming across in a suggestive way, I am very sorry.” He apologized in a calm and collected manner as he stood a few inches from the countertop.

“Oh, it’s alright. I suppose I should apologize as well for the way that I reacted? I’m just..not used to people reaching out and grabbing me like that. I am sorry for causing a scene. I know that you didn’t have any ulterior motives. Was the way I reacted a direct result in the cause of that bandage around your wrist?” You asked quietly as you grabbed a mug for the latte.

“My wrist?” He chuckled then as he leaned his elbow against the countertop casually. “You could say that. Your guard dog has himself a bit of a temper. S’a good thing it was a clean break. Scraped my face up pretty good too.” He responded in such a casual tone that you couldn’t help the slight chill that rolled down your spine like a dripping faucet.

“Im..sorry? My guard dog? Are we talking about Joel? He broke your wrist?”

“Darlin’ who else would act that way? Yes, it was Joel. Cornered me in the alley and shoved me against the wall.” He tsked under his breath with a sigh.

“Lucas, I'm so sorry. I swear, I had nothing to do with that. I didn’t tell him to go and break your wrist.”

“Beanie, s’alright. He’s a violent man. Probably woulda killed me with his bare hands if he got the chance. Anyway, I jus’ wanted to make sure I cleared the air with you first and foremost.”

Your stomach felt slightly queasy as your fingers trembled out of sight. You weren’t naive. You knew that Joel had killed numerous people in order to survive for this long. You held no judgment towards him. Everyone had to kill at some point in order to survive. Why would he act in such a manner if he no longer had to function in survival mode? Joel’s violent outburst towards Lucas wasn’t sitting right with you at all. You could feel your heart rate increase as you clutched your chest with a shaky breath.

“I’m–i’m sorry he did that to you, Lucas. I appreciate your apology, and I accept it.” You stuttered out as you nearly spilled a bit of coffee on your hand while you were handing him the mug.

“Like I said, it’s alright. Don’t go and worry your pretty little head over that violent Joel Miller. Thanks again for the latte.” He was looking right into your eyes now as he took the mug from your trembling hands. He stepped back from the counter followed by a tip of his imaginary hat in your direction. “See ya around, Beanie.” He left through the front door of your shop moments later and disappeared down the street.

You were left frozen on the spot as you used a rag to wipe away the stray dribbles of coffee from the counter. Your hands were still trembling as you busied yourself with more cleaning.

Joel would never. He wouldn’t.

Oh, but he would.

He did.

Why would Lucas lie about his wrist?

Joel is a violent man.

It's in his nature.

He’s dangerous.

Unpredictable.

A ticking time bomb.

And you’re a fool if you think otherwise.

Maybe that nagging voice inside of your head was right. Maybe Joel wasn’t all you believed him to be. This was about to be put to the test when his familiar scent wafted in through the open door. You heard his boots scuff along the wood flooring as the bell chimed above his head. He was holding something in his arms. You couldn’t tell what it was, but by the flushed expression on his face, whatever it was held a sense of urgency to him.

“Beanie.” He breathed out as he held the bundle in his arms close to his chest.

“Joel.” Your response was meek as you stepped around the corner of the countertop.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go. Couldn’t leave this poor baby out in the wilderness to die.” He murmured urgently as he approached.

“Joel, what are you talking about?” You asked with a hint of caution laced in your tone.

“This..fawn. Tommy and I were patrolin’ and I found it in the tall grass. Its mother was..killed by wolves presumably. I couldn’t just leave it out there. It’s barely a few days old.” He spoke softly as he gently pulled back the flannel to reveal the tiny fawn’s head. Its big brown eyes stared up at you with thick black lashes. The fawn showed timid curiosity as it sniffed the air for any immediate threats.

“Oh my goodness.” You whispered in disbelief as you peered down at the innocent creature.

How could a man be so violent, yet be tenderly holding a fawn in his arms as if it was fine delicate china that would shatter from the slightest touch.

It made your head spin.

“I ain’t got a single clue how to take care of it, and there's no tellin’ if it’ll make it through the night. Can..you help me, please?” He looked into your eyes, pleading silently.

“Joel, of course I'll help you. It's probably starving. Why don’t you..sit down and i’ll get some milk. Hopefully the poor thing will drink it.” you murmured in a hush tone as you disappeared behind the counter. There was a fridge in the back room that stored milk, cream and the occasional snack or two. You grabbed the small bottle of milk and a bowl before returning to the front area. Joel was sitting stiffly in one of the chairs as the fawn laid comfortably in his lap. You took the seat across from him with the bowl and milk bottle sitting on the table before you poured a bit into the bowl. “Here, put a bit on your finger and see if it’ll nurse.”

He slowly looked over at you before he nodded and used his free hand to dip one of his fingers into the bowl. The fawn was already lifting its head towards the familiar scent of milk and when Joel slowly lowered his finger towards the fawn’s nose, it immediately began to nurse. Joel stilled in his seat for a moment as images of a baby Sarah nursing from a bottle in his arms surfaced through his mind. She was so tiny. A silent tear rolled down the cavern of his cheek as the fawn sucked the few drops of milk from his finger.

“Joel?..”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he went to brush the stray tear away.

“Joel, what..happened after you left the bathroom?”

God, she knows. She knows and now she’s afraid of me.

You watched as he inhaled a sharp breath before his eyes slowly flitted over to yours. He held a steady contact before he finally spoke.

“I did what I felt was right. It’s not alright for anyone to go and grab someone like that. He had no right to touch you, Beanie.” He breathed out.

“And you had the right to break his wrist?” Your voice trembled slightly as you watched the way his face fell.

“Beanie, I–couldn’t jus’ let him get away with that. I only wanted to protect you.” He tried to reason with you.

“Joel, I never asked you to protect me. You can’t just go and break people’s wrists just because they touched me. Why couldn’t you just leave it alone?”

“You never had to ask. It comes naturally to me. Look, I've already been punished for my violent actions. I couldn’t leave it alone because you were a wreck. I came into the bathroom and you were thrashing like a goddamn fish in Tommy’s arms. You wouldn’t even let me get near you for over ten minutes. Don’t you remember? Honey, you were in fuckin’ shambles.” He nearly whispered as his voice cracked.

“I–I don’t remember, Joel. I don’t remember any of it.” You could feel the tears begin to brim along your waterline as your fingers trembled in your lap. “I..was that bad?”

“Beanie..you tucked yourself between two sinks with your back facin’ Tommy and I. My intentions were to just..rough him up a bit. He didn’t even know what the hell I was gettin’ on him for. He acted like he had done nothin’ wrong. Look, if you hate me now, and you ain’t want nothin’ to do with me, jus’ please save it. I’ve endured enough pain in my life. Jus’ rip the bandaid off if that’s what you gotta do.”

“What?” You looked over at him with tears freely rolling down your cheeks, mirroring his own. “Joel, I don’t hate you, I just didn’t understand why you did what you did. I wish that I remembered what had happened so that I could wrap my head around this whole thing. Lucas came in here about twenty minutes ago and told me what happened. He also apologized for how he acted, and then he left.”

Hell had suddenly frozen over in Joel’s world when you recounted Lucas having the nerve to show up to your shop and apologize for his behavior. Joel knew he had to remain calm despite the temperature of his blood skyrocketing. Lucas was here. He was in your shop, and Joel was not happy about it.

“Beanie, S’alright that you don’t remember what happened. I don’t wanna end up triggerin’ your memories or nothin.’” He sighed softly as he thought about the careful choice of words he’d have to use when discussing Lucas. “Lucas was here?..Well, I'm glad that he apologized. Is that all he said?”

“Joel, it’s not okay that I don’t remember. I can’t fucking recount anything after the moment he grabbed my arm. It’s all a blank screen in my mind.” Your tone alone gave away how frustrated you were as you vigorously wiped away your tears. “He–said that you’re a violent man, and that I shouldn’t worry my pretty little head about it.” You whispered the last bit out as your eyes drifted down to your trembling palms that were resting in your lap.

Joel bit down on the inside of his cheek hard enough that he could taste copper along his tongue. He swallowed hard as he tried to calm his nerves. How dare he. How dare he try and turn you against him. What was this little conniving snake trying to stir up now?

“He’s right. I am a violent man.” He muttered under his breath. “I’d be a fool to sit here and try to lie to you, Beanie. I’ve done some godawful things in the name of survival, but I'd never hurt you. I’d never grab you like that. I’d never cross those boundaries. Beanie, please jus’ be careful, okay? Please.”

“Joel, I know you’d never hurt me. I don’t care that you’re a violent man. Who am I to judge you? Everyone has had to kill to survive. I’m no saint either. Look, neither you or I can go back to that night. I wish I could. I wish I could reverse the clock because I was having such a good time with you, Joel.” You looked over at him with glassy eyes as you sniffled softly.

“You..don’t care? Do you truly mean that, Beanie? I was having such a wonderful time with you as well. I’m sorry that I allowed myself to act upon violence. I should have jus’ stayed in the bathroom with you and Tommy. Should have stayed with you.” His head dropped slightly in mild defeat.

“Joel, of course I mean that. I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for pushing you away when you tried to comfort me on my couch. You were just trying to help and I pushed you away..”

“Sweet girl, you don’t have to apologize for a goddamn thing. You needed space, so I gave it to ya. You know your body best. I wasn’t gonna try’n force you to let me stay. Last thing I wanted to do was make you uncomfortable.” He murmured sincerely.

You wanted to laugh through your tears when he called you sweet girl. You weren’t anywhere near the age of a girl anymore, but it was still a thoughtful gesture that you appreciated more than you realized.

“Can..we start over? Can we put this all behind us?” You asked hesitantly as your hand slowly reached across the table.

“Course we can. There ain’t anyone here that can tell us that we can’t. Clock’s still goin’ but that doesn’t mean we gotta stick with the times. We can go at it at our own pace. Whatever we’re comfortable with.” He reassured you as his hand that wasn’t occupied with the fawn reached towards you across the table.

Your fingertips brushed before they interlocked in a gentle squeeze as you both fell into a moment of silence.

“What do we name this little one?” He asked softly as he dipped his free finger back into the bowl of milk.

“Bambi?” That seemed like the obvious choice given the circumstances.

“Nah.” he murmured with a boyish grin. “How about Beanie number 2?”

“How original.” You mused with a soft smile on your lips.

“Or what about Honey? Pretty sure it's a girl.” He shrugged.

“Honey. I like it.” You murmured as you squeezed his hand gently.

“Y’hear that, Honey? We’re gonna take care of ya. Remember that horse you were nuzzlin’ on? That’s Tex. He’s gonna be your protector too. We’re gonna make sure you have a good life, alright little one?” He spoke so softly to the innocent creature that gazed up at him like he had crafted the sun for that fawn with his bare hands in his toolshed.

How could a man be so violent, yet so tender.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika

Kind reminder I no longer have a taglist! Please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates and turn on notifications to be notified when I post a fic/chapter

[cedarxwing]

Scent Freak Hannibal (Holes in the Floor of the Mind)

Hannibal is 10x more freakish about smells in the books, and it manifests in some subtle ways in the show.

Hannibal's characterization as a lovable serial killer is a brilliant literary feat. Part of what makes him so likable is how receptive he is to sensation. He's almost childlike in how he experiences the world. His narration is so vivid with description that it makes him seem more alive, more human, than the other characters, whose inner voices are dull and flat by comparison. He is powerfully influenced by sights, sounds, textures, and especially smells, all leading to memory. It's very Proustian and psychological.

Warning: long post below.

Red Dragon

Aside from the iconic aftershave dig, Hannibal uses scent to decide to get Will's home address. This is the very first peek into Hannibal's POV we get in the series:

First mention of Hannibal's nemesis: the toilet (more on that later). They cleaned his toilet with Clorox -> bleach -> semen -> irritating man scent -> Will Graham

Will smells like teaweed, which grows in the southeast US -> Hannibal is thinking about where Will might live (Florida). (Like how Hannibal smells pine on Will in the show.)

Hannibal can smell Will's thoughts which are warm and brassy

Will's warm, brass thoughts are incorporated in the show! Will's silver pendulum, as it was described in the book, was changed to yellow. In season 1, whenever we enter his crime scene reconstruction POV, the lighting completely changes and there's a warm filter:

(I also like to interpret the shift in warmth as Will feeling more alive when he's closer to a killer's thoughts, but that's just me)

The Stool Pit

One thing the show didn't explore was Hannibal's worst sensory nightmare: feces. For him, stool is closely linked to both prison ("watching the diaper cart go by") and the horrific death of his sister. In Hannibal, the scent of a soiled diaper on a airplane gives him a traumatic flashback dream about Mischa:

The "holes in the floor" of Hannibal's memory palace are oubliettes, dungeons where he stores all his bad memories to forget about them:

Even though Hannibal probably didn't see Mischa's teeth in the stool pit in the show (since his backstory was changed), it's alluded to with Alana's threat to take his toilet (his entire toilet, not just the seat like in the book).

This line is mostly a quote from The Silence of the Lambs, except for "the company of the dead" addition. It leads straight into one of Hannibal's flashbacks about Abigail. Based on how the lights black out, I can only assume Hannibal's memories about Abigail are negative. Is he falling down the rank oubliettes of his mind when he thinks of her? Does he regret killing her at all? We can only guess.

Knowing this, the proximity of the toilet to his prison bed is crazy. They had a huge room to put his bed anywhere, and they chose to put it right next to the toilet? Lol.

Cleanliness

Clean smells are Hannibal's favorite thing, hands down. They are in direct opposition to the stool pit, and a metaphor for innocence, purity, washing away sins, etc. The first thing we see him do after killing Abigail is take a shower, washing blood from his skin, washing away the past...

He loves the soap and lotion store in Florence (the Farmacia di Santa Maria Novella), "one of the best-smelling places on Earth," because it takes him away from bad memories.

The copper bathtub from season 3 is based on Hannibal's memories of washing Mischa:

Clean smells are Hannibal's conscious avenue to his obsession with Clarice Starling:

Clarice has her own Proustian association with clean smells, since her mother was a cleaning lady at a motel. Matching childhood olfactory associations--cute!

It's subtle in the show, but Will is associated with cleanliness as well:

Absolute Freak Behavior

Now I just want to show how extreme the scent thing is, for anyone who hasn't read the books... like...

Trying to smell Clarice from a hundred yards away:

After sniffing the handle of Clarice's car door and not getting anything, he breaks in and has a religious experience in the driver's seat:

In conclusion, Hannibal from the novels is a straight-up cross between Ratatouille and an A/B/O universe transplant. You can't tell me that this man doesn't have the biggest scent kink in the world. His partner walks out of the shower smelling like his favorite soap and it's game over.

[fancifulplaguerat]

I have further spare Aglaya thoughts. Cannot stop thinking about how whenever Aglaya mentions her hatred towards Nina it's predicated on Nina's cruelty/disregard for others contrasted against Aglaya's lines like “To this day, I've been paying for my kind-heartedness,” “It's a pity that everyone sees an enemy in me. Such is the bias against inquisitors. I only wish to do good; not specific, targeted good, like that Clara, but overarching good,” “I am a humanitarian. My duty is to save people, not kill them. I only condemn a few to death for the sake of the many.” That “I've been paying for my kind-heartedness” and “It's a pity that everyone sees an enemy in me” just make my heart hurt for her because I do sincerely believe her. Yes she is cruel towards Clara and deceives Daniil but I've said it before I will say it again: 1) I love Daniil so very much but *everyone* warned him not to trust her and 2) nearly every Patho character is an opportunist and/or trying to act after being dealt and incredibly shitty hand, which often results in deception and cruelty towards others. Aglaya is no different in my mind.

Also a particular detail in her dialogue which caught my eye is when she remarks that, “For a moment, I thought [Block] was driven by the same feeling that I am: a great man, when unexpectedly betrayed by the people he loves, will often seek to fill the whole universe with his blind spite. Yes, the feeling is indeed familiar...” I wonder what this refers to. My first thought is presumably Nina, but I can't quite imagine Aglaya feeling betrayed by her? It seems like they were too opposed? Like. I have no idea if I can articulate this well, but: Nina and Aglaya seem so alike yet fundamentally different that I just imagine tension would be endemic in their relationship. Also the way Aglaya characterizes her in the quote “Nina was the embodiment of absolute evil. The charming, intoxicating, beautiful evil, the evil that can drive you mad. The graceful and elegant evil that is fast to capture anyone in its web—even those who stand up to evil till the very last.” She calls Nina evil constantly. It is the lifeblood of her motivation—to destroy what her sister created. But that betrayal lines makes me think about what sort of uncomfortable love one can only have towards a family member that they fucking hate, like Aglaya does indeed think Nina is evil but also she is her (little?) sister and presumably grew up with her and I doubt Aglaya could see her as just wholly evil. That entire mess. Just compels me, particularly in how it adds another aspect to Nina.

I often think about how Nina is this object of terror and adoration more than a character in Patho Classic. Even sometimes, in my opinion, more an embodiment of utopia as Simon is for creation. Everyone close to her or who merely knew her as Mistress absolutely reveres her, perhaps even more after her death (which I think is the point, but, I digress). So to me, Aglaya and Maria have the most interesting dynamics with Nina because only through them does Nina feel more "real" to me, insofar as a character can. The dichotomy between Aglaya and Nina nicely contrasts this to me. Yes other characters allude to Nina being terrifying and so forth, but Aglaya's declarations that Nina is evil aren't accompanied by any reverence or respect or adoration that often does other characters' discussions of her. And it's yes Maria idolizes her, but as a child idealizes their parent. That is entirely separate from other characters who appear closest to Nina in Patho Classic: Victor, Andrey, and Peter, all of whom presumably had some sort of romantic attachment to her (if to various degrees and requitedness). Maria looks up to her, and in her words, “shall become her, [...] shall overcome her...” Maria interests me in that vein, that she aims to surpass her mother, and thus her idealization is necessarily different than others' who solely worship her.

I did not intend to write that much but this is what thinking about the Kaina-Lilich women does to a motherfucker. Apparently.

[e-dubbc11]

Snowstorm Shenanigans

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Some swearing, alluding to smexy time, all the fluff you could ever ask for, unicorns and fluffy bunnies PG-13 for the most part, mentions of Billy’s scars

Word Count: 7.5k-ish (there’s a lot going on, more characters, I’m sorry it’s a little long)

Summary: Billy takes you away for the weekend, invites your friends to come along, has elaborate plans for you but the snowstorm is throwing a wrench into his plan.

A/N: They’re baaaaaack! Frank and Ginger have come along for the ride on this one. If you’re new to the world of these two, you can read how they first started getting on each others nerves in Happy Birthday part ONE and TWO, and how they continued to drive each other nuts in GAME ON. This is also part of a writing challenge that my lovelies from the Thirsty For Cox server decided to do for the month of December, the prompt was Snowed In. I hope you enjoy this and check out everyone else’s also.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

“Where are we going, Billy?” You asked your boyfriend as you sat in the passenger’s seat of the car, staring at his handsome profile, and Billy grinning from ear to ear.

“It’s a surprise, sweet girl. It will be fun though. Frank and Maria are coming and I invited Ginger and her boyfriend to come too.” He said, adjusting the heat in the car while you turned to look out the window as flurries fell from the sky.

All the signs you passed on the highway said he was headed north, and earlier in the week he told you to pack warm winter clothes but also pack the new dress he bought for you because he was taking you to a very nice dinner on Saturday. Obviously, he was taking you away for the weekend but there was something different about this getaway, Billy didn’t normally invite others to come along, he always loved having you all to himself, so what was he up to?

“You invited everyone to come along? You’re up to something Mr. Russo, I know it.” You said with narrow eyes and a straight expression.

He glanced at you with a sly smile and said “It’s gonna be a good weekend, baby. I promise, and they’re not comin’ until tomorrow so we have the place to ourselves tonight.” Keeping his eyes on the road, Billy brought your hand up to his lips to kiss it and there was a rush of warmth through your entire body.

“Do you wanna place a bet on how many arguments Frank and Ginger are going to get into?” You started to laugh and he did too, it was definitely going to be an interesting weekend with those two involved.

After riding in the car for a handful of hours, you saw the sign on the side of the highway—Welcome to Vermont, The Green Mountain State. The snow falling was a little heavier now and the scenery was absolutely beautiful, even on the highway. Blankets of white covered the tree tops on either side of you, the soft glow of the moon which was just starting to rise up over the trees, bounced off of the freshly fallen snow which shined brightly like little diamonds sprinkled everywhere as far as the eye could see.

You slowly turned from the car window to look at your boyfriend, he was glancing down every so often at the GPS on his phone, carefully making sure he was going the right way. The man spoiled you every chance he had, always taking you away to some of the most beautiful places in the world but he hardly ever took the time to look around because he was too busy looking at you.

The St. Regis in Bora Bora was gorgeous, your own little private hut on the clearest bluest water you’ve ever seen, glass windows on the floor so you could see the fish swimming underneath you. Your jaw dropped to the floor at how beautiful it all was and every time you told him to look at something or “did you see that?” He always responded the same way while gazing at you “I’ll see it later, sweet girl.”

Or the time he took you away to Lake Tahoe, the mountains, the hot springs, all of it was breathtaking. You both turned your phones off for the entire week and he wanted nothing more than to just see your reaction to the scenery around you.

Every morning, Billy would watch you drink your coffee out on the deck. You were looking out at the snow covered mountains and breathing in the crisp clean air, you could feel he was there and after watching you for a few minutes, he would join you outside. “Hey there, handsome. It’s beautiful out here isn’t it?”

Billy wrapped his free hand around your waist, he pulled you in close, kissed you on the top of your head, still only looking at you and he said “Yes it is.”

“You’re not even looking, Billy.” You said with a smile.

He leaned down to kiss you and whispered in your ear. “Yes I am.”

You would just roll your eyes at him, smile, and kiss him back, you loved him so much.

************************************************

“I love you.” You told him, gently brushing his beard with your fingers. If he wasn’t driving, he would have turned to look at you.

Keeping his eyes on the road but stealing a quick glance, he responded “I love you too, baby. I love you too.”

The exit he took said Dover and he kept driving until he pulled up to a timber frame contemporary cabin, surrounded by trees. It was very private and extremely beautiful and you couldn’t wait to get out and look around.

Billy parked the car, you bit down on your bottom lip as you unclipped your seatbelt with a glow of excitement in your eyes.

“Go on, my love. I know you wanna go look around. I’ve got the bags.” He said with a warm smile.

You put on your winter hat and gloves then took off to explore the outside of the house. Looking up, you saw the wrap around deck that was attached to the back of the house, there was a path that led down to the fire pit and overlooked a stream.

You couldn’t believe you were going to be staying here for the next three days. The hot tub faced the woods, the two of you would make good use of that later and you walked around the entire house one more time before walking up the back steps onto the deck.

Billy was standing at the kitchen counter, his back towards you and you could see he was holding something but you couldn’t see what it was. You tapped lightly on the glass, he put whatever it was in his jacket pocket and walked towards the door to let you in.

“Well? What did you find out there, beautiful?” He asked.

You started to untie your snow boots. “Billy, this place is gorgeous! I found the path that leads down to the fire pit and the stream, it’s so beautiful.” You finally got both boots off and set them by the door. “And then I found the hot tub, I thought maybe we could—“

Cutting you off mid-sentence, he pulled you in close and brushed his thumb against your cheek, which was a little cold and flushed from being outside. His rich dark eyes looked down at you before pressing his lips firmly against yours, they tasted a little like coffee with just a hint of sugar and he started to unzip your jacket.

“Billy Russo, we JUST got here!” You said, playfully pushing him away from you. “Can I look around inside before you attack me with your lips again?” You asked.

Billy rolled his eyes and in a joking manner, he said “Ok, but look fast because I can’t promise I can stay away from you for too long.” He said with a wink.

Starting in the kitchen, the counter tops were marble, there was a breakfast bar in the middle and all of the appliances were stainless steel. The dining room off of the kitchen had a large wooden table with a chandelier overhead. The main living area had soaring cathedral ceilings, beautiful natural woodwork, a stone gas fireplace and natural wood floors.

The master bedroom was upstairs and two more bedrooms were downstairs. There was also another common room area with a double queen bunk bed. Both living areas had tvs and plenty of board games.

You stopped in the doorway of the master bedroom, Billy had already put all of your bags inside and you felt him sneak up behind you. He snaked his arms around your waist from behind and started kissing your neck. Oh god, you loved it when he did that. You closed your eyes and just let it happen, he peppered kisses up and down the sides of your neck as your coat dropped to the floor.

Turning to face him, his eyes weren’t focused on anything else but you. “Billy, you’re staring at me like you haven’t seen me in a week.” You said to him with a slight smile.

He gently pulled at the hem of your sweater. “It was a long car ride, baby.”

You knew that look of his very well, even though he kept his hand on you basically the entire ride, it wasn’t enough for Billy. He needed you, what he had said a few minutes ago was true, he couldn’t be away from you for too long because he knew that as quickly as he got something, it could be taken from him just as fast.

No matter how many times you reassured him you weren’t going anywhere, that you loved him, and wanted to be with him always, he kept you close and tight to his chest. You were everything to him.

“I know, handsome…I know.” You whispered in his ear and nervously touched the fabric of his thermal Henley shirt.

Billy’s gaze roamed over your body from head to toe, he studied you. He was always doing that, watching as to where your hands would touch him next. You thought it might be a reflex action leftover from being in the Marines, anticipating the enemy’s next move and even though you weren’t the enemy, his guesses were never wrong.

He always predicted your every move, it was hard to surprise him but you still tried to. Your hands moved from just below his chest to the hem of his dark green shirt, you went to pull it off but he beat you to it.

In one quick motion, his shirt was off and he made the sweater you were wearing disappear just as fast, revealing the silk camisole you had on underneath.

His lips collided with yours after watching your sweater fall at your feet and he parted your lips with his tongue, taking your breath away. He eagerly walked you backwards towards the bed, before climbing on top of you as your head gently hit the pillow.

His greedy hands slipped underneath the camisole so he could brush the soft skin on your stomach with his fingers, causing goosebumps to pepper across your body like it was the first time he’s ever touched you.

His caress did that to you every time whether he was being gentle with soft sweet kisses or ravaging your body like lion after a fresh kill, leaving love bites all over to remind you that you were his, you loved them both equally as much.

Before he kissed you again, you glanced at his scars, it was hard not to. Every time you did, you felt a little twinge in your heart, the dull pain in your chest always came back.

The two long scars on his shoulder from where his rotator cuff was torn, for some reason looked like they still caused him pain and considering how old they were, you thought they might have faded more than they have.

Billy was breathing heavily as you extended your arm to gently trace the two prominent scars on his shoulder with your fingers, he looked away when you did but still, he let you do it.

You said his name softly. “Billy?”

“Yes, sweet girl?” He tried to smile a little when he turned to answer you.

You looked up at him and peeked again at his scars. “Do they—?” You paused. “Do they still hurt?” You asked.

Billy slowly closed the gap between you, his handsome face inches away from you, his muscular body pressed firmly into yours, and the affection in his eyes eased the pain you felt for him.

With one of your legs wrapped around his thigh, you closed your eyes as he rested his forehead against yours, wishing with all your heart you could take all of his pain away, all of his suffering but he surprised you once again with his answer. “Not anymore, my love. Not anymore.” He said with a smile as he covered your body with his, concentrating on you and only you, silently thinking about what he had planned for this weekend, hoping…you would say yes.

*************************************************

Billy wasn’t next to you when you opened your eyes the next morning, he was so light on his feet that you never heard him leave the room or even close the door behind him. You must have been sleeping hard, between the hot tub and the wine, no wonder you passed right out last night.

When you opened the bedroom door, the aroma of coffee floated in the air and you could hear Billy in the kitchen doing something so you put your sweater on and made your way to where he was. He was putting away groceries, he must have had them delivered as he was still in his sweatpants and t-shirt.

“Good morning, beautiful. Sleep well?” He asked with his head peeking around the fridge door.

“Good morning, handsome. Yes I did.” You said as you walked towards him, biting down on your bottom lip and checking him out from head to toe.

Billy closed the door to the fridge and leaned forward to give you a kiss. “Coffee?” He asked.

“Yes please.” You answered and he handed you a mug of coffee just the way you like it.

“The others will be here in a few hours. Frankie called me a little while ago, Ginger is already making him nuts singing along to every song that comes on the radio.” You and Billy both started to laugh. “Ginger’s in the passenger’s seat, Frankie and Maria are in the back seat so she’s controlling the music.”

Trying to control your laughter, you said “I didn’t know they were all riding together, I can just see Frank leaping out of a moving car to get away from her. There might be three people in the car when they get here, not four. Could you hear her singing?”

Billy took a sip of his coffee. “Oh yep, I could definitely hear her. It was hard not to. 80’s hair metal, I believe.” He said with a sly grin.

Stepping outside on to the deck, you looked up at the overcast sky. The clouds were a bright silver color, the air was frigid and dry, and you could sense that it was going to snow. Wrapped up in your sweater, you took a sip of your coffee when Billy came up behind you and kissed you on the temple.

“It smells like snow.” You said softly with a smile.

Billy looked up at the sky. “It smells like snow? What do ya mean it smells like snow?” He asked with a slight chuckle.

“Exactly what I said, Billy. It smells like it’s gonna snow. Did you look at the forecast?” You asked him. “I’m usually not wrong about these things.” You let out a little laugh.

He gave you a concerned look. “Well no, I didn’t check it but—“ Billy took out his phone, opened his weather app and all of a sudden you watched all of the color drain from his face.

“Shit.” Billy gnashed his teeth, then tightly pressed his lips together and shook his head.

Well that can’t be good.

“This says the area is supposed to get between 2-3 FEET of snow starting early tomorrow morning, all day and into the evening.” He said angrily. “We’re all supposed to go out to dinner tomorrow night and we can’t do that with that much snow on the ground.”

You didn’t understand why Billy was so upset, the snow sounded so romantic and fun but you knew your boyfriend, and he was irritated that his plans were on the verge of being ruined so you tried to diffuse the situation. “Well maybe you can change the reservation from tomorrow night to tonight?”

His expression softened. “That’s a good idea, baby. I’ll be right back.” And he went inside to make a phone call. Why couldn’t he just do it out here, you wondered? There was always a method to Billy’s madness and you couldn’t tell him otherwise so you just left it alone.

He returned to the deck even more flustered than he was before and started pacing back and forth. “I can’t change it, they’re all booked up for tonight and they even said more than likely they won’t be open tomorrow.”

“Ok, then we’ll just have dinner here, Billy. We’ll get take out tonight and save the food you bought for tomorrow. It will be great.” You gently touched his shoulders to reassure him it was alright but he just leaned up against the railing and stayed silent, you weren’t even sure he was listening to you. “Well I’m going to go get ready for the day before everyone gets here, you comin’, handsome?”

Billy tried to smile but you could tell he was furious. “Yeah, I’ll be in in a minute, love.”

Once Billy got angry, it was very difficult to snap him out of it. He completely shut down when things don’t go as planned so walking away was sometimes your best option, you knew he’d get over it—at least you hoped he would.

*************************************************

After readying yourself for the day, you prepared drinks and little bites to eat for your guests, they should be arriving any minute. It was a little before noon when you thought you heard a car door close outside. You weren’t positive until you heard the familiar sounds of Frank and Ginger giving each other a hard time.

Looking down from the window in the front of the house, you heard Frank first. “Ya know Ginger, if you didn’t have such a tiny bladder, we could have been here an hour ago.”

“You’re the one who wanted to all ride together, Frank. So if you think about it, this is all your fault. We could have taken separate cars and you wouldn’t have had to deal with my tiny bladder…or my singing.”

You couldn’t stop giggling at your friends taking playful jabs at each other. Frank and Ginger’s friendship has been love/hate from the start. Ginger tortured Frank with karaoke at your birthday party a few years ago, then there was the time you put them on the same team for a friendly game of laser tag. They’re both very competitive and it was amusing to watch their banter back and forth.

They continued to argue about Ginger’s bladder all the way up the stairs, to the front door. Frank was just about to knock on the door when Ginger hip checked him out of the way and walked through the doorway without knocking.

Maria and Ginger’s boyfriend just acted like that was an ordinary occurrence for the two of them—because it was. They both just threw their hands in the air and just went with the flow.

You ran up to Ginger to give her a hug. “You guys made it!”

“You should have knocked first, Ginger.” Frank said. “Y/n and Bill could have been in a—compromising position.” Frank was grinning ear to ear when he said that.

“Yeah that’s a New Year’s Eve I’ll never forget. My retinas will never be the same.” Ginger laughed.

You could feel your ears and your cheeks start to turn red and you covered your eyes in embarrassment remembering the time you and Billy were caught in the act during a New Year’s Eve party.

Your sparkly black dress hiked up over your hips, while Billy had you pinned against the wall, buried to the hilt, and you not realizing how loud the sinful noises were that Billy was drawing out of you. Or how hard you were hitting the wall behind you until it was too late. Busted. Well at least it made for a good story, you thought.

You cleared your throat. “Ooook if y’all are finished, there’s wine on the counter, glasses are there too. If anyone wants beer, it’s in the fridge and snacks are on the table. I’m going to get Billy, I’ll be right back.”

You called out for him. “Billy?” You found him in the bedroom. “Hey handsome. Everyone’s here, you comin’ out?”

You could tell he was still angry but he tried to put on a happy face for you.

“Yeah, my love. I’ll be out in a second ok?”

You moved closer to him and kissed him on the cheek, his beard tickled your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, beautiful.” He winked at you.

From downstairs, you heard Ginger yell out “BUNK BEDS?!!! This place is amazing!”

That made you smile but on the other hand, you were worried about Billy. Why was he so upset about not being able to change the reservation? You knew he wanted to take everyone out for dinner tomorrow night but if you couldn’t go, you couldn’t go. What’s the big deal?

***************************************************

You, Maria, and Ginger filled your afternoon with some shopping at the little boutiques in town and left the men to do whatever they do when they’re left alone with each other which was basically hang out by the fire pit with a couple beers.

Ginger held a black sweater up to your chest. “You should definitely buy this, it’s super cute. What’s the matter, why do you have that look on your face?” She asked.

“Hmmm? Oh, it’s nothing.” You said.

“Nothing my ass. Tell me—tell us. MARIA!! We need you!” Ginger shouted across the quiet boutique and waved her hand for Maria to come over.

“Ok, so this morning when I was outside, I told Billy that it smells like it’s going to snow. He looked at me like I was crazy but then when he looked at the forecast, it said they’re expecting 2-3 feet between early tomorrow morning and tomorrow night. And he got really angry, goin’ on about not being able to go out to dinner tomorrow night if there’s that much snow, it ruined what he had planned, etc., etc.” You explained to them.

A smile crept across Ginger’s face. “We’re getting that much snow?! I saw the snowmobiles outside of the garage, this is gonna be fun!”

“I’ve known Billy for a long time, y/n. And he’s very meticulous in his planning, it’s the marine in him, there’s always a purpose. I think he just wants everyone to have a good time, that’s all.” Maria said, and glancing over at Ginger as if they were silently communicating to each other about something but you ignored it.

“He planned this weekend for all of us and I just want him to enjoy himself too, ya know?” You said to them.

“Should I pick some more fights with Frank? That always seems to make him smile. I saw the Pictionary game in the living room, things could get ugly.” Ginger said with excitement.

Maria started laughing. “I’m sure you’ll do that anyway, Ginger. I thoroughly enjoy you messing with my husband. He openly hates it but I’m convinced he secretly loves it.”

You all started to laugh and suddenly you were very grateful to have them with you.

Around the Fire Pit

Billy, Frank, and Ginger’s boyfriend Chris sat around the crackling fire, drinking beer and talking when Frank asked Billy. “So do you have it on you, Bill?”

Confused, Billy tilted his head to look Frank. “Have what on me, Frankie?” He took a sip of his beer.

“The ring, Bill. Do you have the ring on you? I mean, that’s why you asked all of us to come up here, yeah? You’re gonna ask y/n to marry you.” Frank said with a wicked grin.

“How did you…?” Billy turned to Chris. “Did you know too?!!”

Chris couldn’t do anything except shrug his shoulders and say “Ginger has a hard time keeping secrets.”

“I know you have it on you, Bill. Let’s see it.” Frank reached for Billy’s jacket pocket.

Billy swatted Frank’s hand away. “Alright, alright. Ok, yes I have it with me.” He reached into his jacket pocket and when he took it out again, his long slender fingers were wrapped around a navy blue leather box with the letters HW printed on the top.

Billy opened each side of the box to reveal the ring inside.

“Holy shit, Bill. That’s beautiful.” Frank said with a surprised tone to his voice.

Billy smiled. “You think she’ll like it? Ginger and Maria helped me pick it out. I didn’t know there were so many styles.” He said, glancing down at the ring. “I just hope she says yes.”

“She will, Bill. She loves you, lord knows why.” Frank said with a laugh as he patted his friend on the shoulder.

Billy shook his head while smiling a little. “I can’t believe the girls told you, I told them it was a secret and NOT to tell you guys yet. I asked them for ONE thing!”

Frank and Chris’s reaction was just to laugh at Billy’s disappointment in the girls’ inability to keep his secret.

“Ginger just texted and said they’re at some place called North Star Pizza and they’re bringing home dinner.” Chris said.

“So what’s the deal, Bill? Why were you so salty when we first got here?” Frank asked.

“I wasn’t salty, Frankie.” Billy said.

Frank started to laugh. “You think I don’t know when you’re in a mood? Now what’s the problem?”

Billy started to explain to Frank what the plan was for the proposal but since it’s supposed to snow tomorrow, the restaurant is going to be closed and he wouldn’t be able to do what he wanted to do.

“Well, we can do all of that here. You told us to bring nice clothes so that’s what we’ll do. We’ll all get dressed up like we were going to but we’ll just have a fancy dinner here and you can propose with all of us around just like you would have done at the restaurant, yeah?” Frank said.

Even though his original plan was scrapped, Billy was starting to feel better about the new one his friend came up with.

Chris chimed in. “So I still have to wear the tie, don’t I.”

The three of them started to laugh.

**************************************************

So Friday night was filled with pizza and Pictionary.

Frank and Ginger were on opposite teams, but it still didn’t stop them from heckling each other while the other was drawing.

“That doesn’t look like any movie title I’ve ever seen before, Frank. Maria is never going to guess what that is. Your drawing skills are atrocious!” Ginger joked.

Frank just kept angrily pointing at what he was drawing on the paper and Maria was shrugging her shoulders and trying to not laugh. “I don’t know what that is, Frank!”

“Time’s up!” You yelled out.

Ginger wasn’t finished messing with Frank. “What the hell was that supposed to be anyway?”

With a furrowed brow and his lips pressed firmly together, Frank threw the marker down on to the table and said “Top Gun, it’s supposed to be Top Gun! That’s a plane!”

Everyone erupted in laughter.

“Frankie, that’s the worst drawing of a plane I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure Frank Jr. could draw better than that.” Billy laughed, taking the last sip of his drink.

Ginger had a hard time recovering from her laughter. “Hey Billy, don’t let Frank quit his day job, ok?”

You got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen for more wine but you didn’t notice that Billy got up to follow you and when you turned around to see him standing there, it scared you half to death.

“Jeez Billy!! You scared me!” You yelled, clutching your chest.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He said.

Billy hated to disappoint you in any way and he knew you weren’t very happy with the way he reacted earlier. You weren’t angry with him but he didn’t have to react the way that he did, there was something bothering him but you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, y/n?” The look in his eyes was very remorseful.

He was constantly trying to be better at communicating to you how he felt and you never made excuses for him to yourself or to anyone else. You helped him as much as you could and listened whenever he wanted to talk.

Billy has told you more about his life than he’s told anyone else with the exception of probably Frank, no one else has ever shown Billy love, patience, or kindness. All he’s ever known was abandonment, the feeling of being unwanted, and anger. Things were a lot better now, definitely not perfect but better.

“Of course, handsome.” You gave him an inviting smile and rested the wine bottle on the counter.

As soon as you put the wine bottle down, he laced his fingers with yours and pulled you into his chest. The heat from his body warmed your torso and soon the warmth was everywhere.

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted earlier. I wanted to take everyone out for a nice dinner tomorrow, and now I can’t—it’s just—I“ Billy was visibly flustered again, only because he was having a hard time expressing his feelings. “I just wanted everyone to have a nice time this weekend.”

Keeping your arms wrapped around his waist, you pulled back slightly to look up at him. If “sorry” was a face, it would be Billy’s at that very moment. Your expression softened and you brushed his lips with your thumb.

“Billy, you were just in the same room as I was. Do you hear that laughter in there right now? Everyone IS having a nice time. This house is gorgeous, and so romantic. You invited our friends to share a weekend away with us, it’s amazing and I can’t thank you enough for doing this. We have plenty of food, wine, beer, anything we could ever want is here so it really is ok that we’re staying in tomorrow night.”

His stare dropped from your face to the floor and back up again, he nodded. His endless dark eyes looking at you with a love that will never be duplicated, you were THE ONE for Billy. No one else will ever have his heart.

***************************************************

When your eyes fluttered open the next morning, you remembered it was supposed to start snowing very early that morning so you jumped onto the bed to look out the window. Freshly fallen snow covered the property and the tree tops, there had to have been at least a foot out there already. It was coming down fast.

Billy didn’t sleep much so again, he wasn’t next to you when you woke up, so he must be in the kitchen. When you opened the bedroom door, you saw him sitting at the breakfast bar with his coffee next to him just staring off into the woods, watching the snow fall. He looked…relaxed.

“You know you can’t sneak up on me, my love.” Billy said turning his head slightly, you could see his million dollar smile. “I’ll get you some coffee.”

You rested your hand on his arm, stopping him from getting up. “No, no baby, I’ll get it. Just sit and relax.” You noticed no one else was up yet as you walked over to the coffee maker. “You see anything good out there besides the fresh snow?” You asked him, pouring your coffee into a mug.

“I saw a couple of cardinals at the bird feeder.” He said. “You don’t get to see this stuff living in the city, it’s beautiful.”

You stood in front of him so his eyes were level with yours and leaned in to kiss him, his lips had a slight hazelnut taste to them and his rich brown hair was all over the place. “Good morning, handsome. No one else is up yet, huh?” You said, sweeping the hair away from his eyes.

“They had a long day yesterday, baby. I’ll start breakfast.” He kissed you again and gave you a wink.

You heard one of the bedroom doors open downstairs and Chris’s voice came sailing up the stairs. “Ginger, I’m pretty sure you were arguing with Frank in your sleep last night!”

You and Billy looked at each other and just started to laugh.

***************************************************

After getting dressed, you walked out into the kitchen and found Frank, Billy and Chris hovering over a piece of paper, a pen in Billy’s hand, and a bunch of whispering going on.

“I don’t know if I like the looks of this…what are you three up to?” You asked, pointing at them suspiciously.

Before any of them could answer, Ginger finished climbing the stairs and said. “They’re being very secretive, aren’t they? I think we should be worried…what if they’re planning our demise? Or if they’re trying to figure out a way to cheat by finding a quicker route to the liquor store.”

Very confused, you looked at Ginger and asked “Ok, what are you talking about?”

Full of excitement, Ginger explained that the liquor store has to be open, one is always open during a snowstorm, and they did pass one on the way up yesterday. So she made a bet with Frank last night that she could get there on the snowmobile quicker than he could.

All you could do was shake your head and cover your eyes with your hand but you were dying to see it.

“Ok, first of all…I need to be a part of this race. Second, do I get to see what’s on this piece of paper?” You asked.

Maria walked up the stairs as Frank started to say “None of you get to know what’s on this piece of paper. This is the menu for tonight’s dinner.”

“I hope you boys know where the fire extinguishers are.” Maria said with a chuckle.

***************************************************

The race on the snowmobiles to the liquor store was very close, you rode with Ginger and Maria rode with Frank. And although it was close, Ginger did manage to squeak out the win and she was right, the liquor store was open. Frank bought some nice champagne for later although you’ve never seen Frank drink champagne ever…maybe it was Maria that wanted it.

Ginger was never going to let Frank live it down that she beat him in a race, she would definitely get a lot of mileage out of it and Frank looked completely defeated when Billy asked who won.

As the snow continued to come down, the rest of the afternoon was filled with laughter, more games, good conversations, a snowball fight, and playful banter. It seemed like everyone was having such a good time which made Billy happy and made you happy to see him that way.

After a game of chess between Frank and Billy, you walked over to the couch to sit on Billy’s lap. You pulled him close for a kiss, it was passionate and you nipped his lower lip with your teeth. The only reason you pulled away was because Ginger made you laugh.

“You guys aren’t gonna start making animal noises, are you?” She asked.

“Today was fun.” You whispered to him while raking your fingers through his hair.

He smiled at you, it was a nervous smile although Billy doesn’t usually get nervous. “Well, it’s not over yet baby.”

“What are you up to, Mr. Russo?” You asked him.

He kissed you one more time. “I just think you’re really going to enjoy dinner tonight.”

“I’m sure I will, handsome.” You said with a slight smile.

**************************************************

With Billy hard at work in the kitchen with Frank and Chris, you were getting ready for dinner with Ginger and Maria. You were sitting on the floor, close to the mirror, putting your makeup on.

“It’s so sweet of them to cook for all of us.” You said.

Maria laughed a little. “Well obviously Frank isn’t helping very much because it smells delicious out there and nothing is on fire.”

You laughed and nearly messed up your eyeliner.

As you continued to do your makeup, you thought about your entire relationship with Billy. Flashbacks of your birthday party popped into your head, when he told you he had feelings for you, the skull tie he wore just for you. The Harry Winston diamond earrings he gave you that night, or rather Frank gave you from him, laser tag with your friends, the getaways, and cozy nights at home.

It wasn’t all good times though, you and Billy had your fair share of arguments. He wasn’t perfect, but you weren’t either. He was learning how to be an actual boyfriend and you were helping him with that process while trying to be understanding at the same time. It wasn’t easy but you loved him and did your best to show him that every day.

You thought you saw Maria give Ginger another look of silent communication. What is going on?

“Are we ready?” You asked.

Ginger clapped her hands together and pumped her fists. “Let’s do this!” She said.

Whatever they were cooking did smell wonderful, as you got closer to the top of the stairs, the aroma got stronger. You could smell the fresh garlic, herbs, and spices and there was definitely bacon involved.

Frank greeted the three of you at the top of the stairs with glasses of wine and escorted you into the living area where the fire was going, there were hors d’oeuvres on the coffee table, and the lights were dimmed to a soft glow. You could see the snow falling at a rapid pace from the windows, as you peeked outside, the snow looked so beautiful and perfectly untouched.

Frank started to point to the appetizers on the table and in a confused tone, he called out into the kitchen. “Hey Chris, what are these things called again!!?”

“Those are artichoke phyllo cups and on the other plate are rosemary veal meatballs.” You heard him yell from the kitchen.

“Uh yeah, what he said. They’re good, I swiped a couple before you guys came upstairs. I’m starvin’ and Bill swatted my hand away when I tried to taste one.” Frank said.

The three of you started to laugh.

“You look very handsome tonight, baby.” Maria told Frank.

He blushed a little. “Thank you, sweetheart. You look amazing as always…you all do. Even you Ginger.”

Collectively, you all let out a big “AWWWWW!!!” And scared a flustered Frank back into the kitchen causing the three of you to laugh uncontrollably.

Back in the kitchen, they were putting the finishing touches on dinner when Frank said to Billy “You look nervous, Bill.”

Billy tried to brush it off. “I don’t get nervous, Frankie.”

“You do when it comes to y/n.” Frank said. “Remember how nervous you were to tell her that you liked her, or when you wanted to ask her to move in with you? You absolutely get nervous when it comes to her. You really, really love her, don’t you.”

“More than anything, but what if she says no, Frankie?” Billy asked.

At the same time, Chris and Frank said “She’s not going to say no.”

“She’s going to be surprised but she’s not going to say no.” Frank said. “She looks beautiful tonight, Bill.”

Billy smiled. “I can’t wait to see her.”

***************************************************

Dinner was delicious. There was a wedge salad to start, filet mignon wrapped in bacon (you knew there was bacon involved), scalloped potatoes, asparagus, along with plenty of red wine.

“I made those potatoes.” Frank said with confidence, pointing at the dish.

Maria smiled at her husband. “And you did a very good job with them, baby. If Frank knows how to make anything, it’s potatoes.”

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Ginger brought up the time you all played laser tag together. “…And they wouldn’t even let me wear my night vision goggles!”

Maria could not stop laughing. “I’m sorry I missed this!”

And through all the conversations and the laughter, Billy couldn’t take his eyes off of you, his hand resting on top of yours while the other grazed your knee. Your chair pulled as close as possible to his so he could touch you, breathe in the scent of your perfume, and kiss you whenever he wanted to.

All of you were enjoying your coffee and dessert in the living area by the fire, when Ginger said “Hey, ya know we never finished our Pictionary game last night—it was Billy and y/n’s turn.”

The large drawing pad was off to the side of the fireplace, it was Billy’s turn to draw and Maria handed him a folded blank sheet of paper, he already had a plan for what he was going to draw. Ready to guess, you sat on the edge of the couch and waited for him to start drawing.

Frank turned the timer over. “GO!!”

Billy started to draw. He first drew a circle, with what looked like a diamond on top, little lines above the diamond to make it look like it was shining.

You shouted out. “My Best Friend’s Wedding!! Father of the Bride!! My Big Fat Greek Wedding!”

He started to draw something else. “Billy, those are words. You can’t write out words. What are you doing?”

First word. Will

Staring at him confused, he wrote out the second word. You

You looked around at everyone, they were grinning from ear to ear.

Third word. Marry

Finally you realized what was going on.

Last word. Me?

With your knees shaking, you stood up from the couch as you watched Billy drop to one knee and produce a box from his jacket pocket. Was this really happening? He had opened the box but you couldn’t take your eyes off of his.

“Will you marry me, y/n?” He asked.

Tears had flooded your eyes and there weren’t any words or sounds coming from your mouth. You couldn’t speak, only a gasp when you finally looked at the ring, it was a cushion cut diamond surrounded by smaller stones and diamonds around the entire band. It was the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen.

Taking your hand away from your mouth, you were finally able to answer him. “YES! Yes Billy, I will marry you!”

He slid the ring on your finger, stood up and pulled you in for a kiss. “I love you…so much.”

“I love you too, baby.” You said with a hitch in your voice.

He looked at you like you were the only other person in the room. “Do you like it?”

Looking closely at your ring, you were practically speechless. “Billy—I—I love it! It’s beautiful! Oh my god, it’s huge!”

“That’s what she said!” Ginger shouted.

Frank rolled his eyes and tried to contain his laughter. “Real mature, Ginger. You ruined the moment.”

“I didn’t ruin anything, Frank. Look at them. Look how happy they are!” Ginger said pointing at you and wiping a tear away from her cheek. “I got the best picture too!”

Amidst all of the commotion from everyone, Billy leaned down to kiss you again and you tuned out everyone else for a minute to ask him “Are you really ready for me to be Mrs. Russo?”

He just looked at you with his beautiful brown eyes, smiled and said “I’ve never been more ready for anything, sweet girl.”

A light bulb went off in your head and you inhaled sharply. “THAT’S why you were so mad about the snow! You wanted to do this at the restaurant.”

Billy simply nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

“Honestly, Billy…” You stopped and pointed to everyone around the room. “I like this much better, just us and our friends, no strangers.” You said softly as you cupped his cheek and pulled him towards you for another gentle kiss.

You looked around at everyone, they were talking and laughing with each other. You had your best friend here and Billy had his, and this was the perfect way to spend a snowed-in weekend.

It was with the people you loved, people that made you smile, that made you laugh—that made him laugh. It always made you happy when Billy laughed because he deserved to.

He held you close against his chest, kissed your forehead and as you closed your eyes to enjoy the moment, you heard Ginger say “You know what this means, right Frank?”

With a furrowed brow and a confused look on his face, Frank said “What does it mean, Ginger?”

Rubbing her hands together, she said with a wicked smile. “We get to walk down the aisle together at their wedding! Isn’t that exciting?!! I was thinking maybe we could do some sort of choreographed dance. I have plenty of ideas, we’ll figure it out.”

All eyes were on Frank pinching the bridge of his nose and his eyes were shut, Maria was trying not to laugh while the rest of you waited for his response.

Frank just pointed at Billy and said “Well…it better be open bar.”

Tag List: @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @gijos

TFC Ladies: @mindidjarin @munsonownsmyass @skvatnavle @phoebe-danvers @itwasthereaminuteago @pedrito-friskito (I hope it’s ok I tagged everyone)

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Okay, how about not everyone has a Beauford twin? What about just the Cullens (one at a time)? Twincest? Changes?

(Also, I know it's the Volturi, so sorry for forgetting that last time)

The time Bella had an identical twin who was exactly the same except he's a dude.

Much more doable, anon, thank you.

That said, I think this is a write the fic question as I don't think you're going to like my answers. For the Cullens, you see, it doesn't matter.

Alice

Alice's backstory as a human is notable as she was sent to an insane asylum dude to shouting that her father was going to murder her based off visions she was having.

Now, per the ask, her brother Arthur has the same gift and is also as in the know as Alice, but in his case this either a) gets him sent to a different asylum than Alice per his gender or b) gets him murdered by their father and not sent to an asylum as the "hystical woman" card is less easily played when it's a man.

In either case, Arthur is in a different asylum that does not have a vampire employee. He dies human as Alice, when she is turned, does not remember his existence.

Decades later upon checking her history, Alice learns that Mary Alice Brandon had a twin brother who either a) was sent to a different asylum or b) died.

Carlisle

Carlisle grows up in the very weird household where despite having the same exact personality and looking identical, their father clearly favors his sister.

Carine Cullen is exactly what Father Cullen wants from a daughter and isn't involved in any of the parish leadership/telling people what to do.

Carlisle, however, is and this leads to the issues alluded to in canon.

When Carlisle is turned his sister is not in the mob that is likely predominately/entirely composed of men. As a result, when Carlisle turns, he is nowhere near her and only likely looks in from afar when he has things enough under control.

Carlisle's sister dies human, bereft of her father and her brother, and Carlisle has to live with having left her familyless as he became an immortal bloodsucking demon accidentally.

He probably doesn't get over it.

Edward

Elizabeth Masen gives her dying words, "Save my son by any means necessary."

Carlisle blinks, "Elizabeth, you have a daughter, don't you?"

I joke but even if Elizabeth insisted on saving both (or her daughter instead), Carlisle has never turned anyone before, and he's very leery of doing it the first time despite being so lonely.

He would not be able to control two newborns on his own.

He can only turn one.

However, how can he justify to the survivor that he let their sibling die, this isn't the same as the person's parents already having died. Carlisle would be saying "I chose you to live"

I imagine Carlisle chooses not to turn either because of this.

Twilight doesn't happen because there's no Edward or Edith.

Emmett

Emmett thinks his sister's the shit. They have a great time together, she's almost as strong as he is! However, only one of them is likely to be mauled by bears and only one of them gets hauled down the mountain.

Upon turning Emmett/Emily will insist on turning the other, but everyone will draw a hard line at that because a) two newborns at a time b) this is a terrible existence to force on your sibling who has their entire life ahead of them.

"Well, shit" Emmett/Emily says, but at least they get a hot boyfriend/girlfriend out of this.

Esme

Esme's never turned.

Esme may, in fact, never get married depending how this goes.

I imagine she'd seek refuge with her brother, Earnest, who is as kind and earnest as his name allows. Either she chooses not to marry at all and goes to live with him doing what she can so as not to marry Charles or when she leaves Charles escapes to him.

Her son could very well survive with this support, if he doesn't, she may survive with her brother's support in her time of grief.

If not, she's in the wrong morgue.

Jasper

Jasper's sister does not get to sign up for the war and as a result is not eaten by Maria. Given Jasper didn't go back for any of his family, I doubt he goes back for his twin sister.

They never see each other again.

Renesmee

See this post

Rosalie

Now this one's interesting.

Rosalie was raised to social climb as she was her family's only daughter and only shot at a higher social tier with her beauty and her wit. Now the family has an equally intelligent, charming, and attractive son.

I imagine Rosalie's still pushed into her role and that she still initially has her eye on Royce but I imagine Royal may be more aware of Royce's reputation (even without the gang rape, it was clear he was a womanizer) and may stop the marriage.

Rosalie probably hates him for it, feeling useless and powerless as this is the only thing she can do, and hating his interfering as well as his pity but it may very well mean that she survives that night and is never turned.

If she is turned, then she doesn't inflict this on her brother who she has a very mixed relationship with.

[bestworstcase]

& since i’m on the subject of allusions tonight:

let’s talk about rwby’s actual oz allusions

so, generally speaking, the fandom—understandably perplexed by how tangential or even superficial rwby’s reference to the wizard of oz appears to be—takes the oz allusions in one of two ways: either, 1. the core ozian characters are deconstructions of the correlating oz character [the scarecrow drinks, the tin man throws his heart away, etc.] or 2. the oz allusions are a deliberate red herring intended to misdirect attention from the deeper or truer allusion to whatever, whence the g.u.n. theory or the bastardized norse myth madlibbing and so forth; or on occasion both at once.

the first camp has a lot of interesting things to say that i would probably find persuasive were it not for the fact that they also keep wrestling unsatisfyingly with the persistent questions of:

1. who is dorothy?

2. what about raven and summer and tai? (oh my)

3. how do the ozma/wizard/tip and ozma/ozpin/oscar trifectas fit together?

and the answers to all of these questions are in fact pretty straightforward...

...the trick is just that rwby isn’t alluding to the wizard of oz.

for the uninitiated there are a lot of oz books. there are-- there are so many oz books. fortunately for my sanity however rwby appears to be focusing primarily on one, the marvelous land of oz, which occurs not too very long after the wizard’s departure from oz at the end of the wonderful wizard of oz.

now, i will say up front that you are going to look at this list and immediately go “wait. what?” but just... trust me, ok? here we go.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? god of light → mombi* ozma → ozma/tippetarius ozpin → the wizard oscar → jack pumpkinhead glynda → good witch of the ✨north✨ [NOT GLINDA] theodore  → dorothy gale lionheart → the soldier with the green whiskers ironwood → nick chopper [the tin woodman] qrow  → the scarecrow raven  → the woggle-bug taiyang → the cowardly lion [provisionally**] maria → the sawhorse summer rose → general jinjur and, last but not least, salem → glinda the good [TRUST. ME.]

*the god of darkness is sir not appearing in this book, but if rwby does what i think it will re: theodore, i’d place my bets on the nome king.

**taiyang is an unknown quantity in that i don’t think his primary role in the narrative has revealed itself yet; he might alternatively turn out to be the gump or the queen of the field mice. my money is on the lion, though, because the lion is also sir not appearing in this book but, like dorothy, appears in the next as a member of ozma’s retinue.

MARVELOUS LAND OF OZ ANY% NO GLITCH—

long story short, in the before times the land of oz was ruled by a king named pastoria who took up with the fairy-queen lurline and had a baby, ozma, rightful heir to the ozian throne; shortly thereafter, oscar diggs crash landed in oz, deposed pastoria, disappeared the infant princess by giving her to mombi, sorceress of the north, and became ✨the wizard✨. ...some... amount of time later, dorothy crash lands in oz, yellow brick road, silver slippers, smashes one witch and melts another, yada yada, the wizard sails off back to omaha in his hot air balloon, CUE MARVELOUS LAND; the starting positions are thus:

the scarecrow sits on the throne of oz in the emerald city, having been appointed to rule in the wizard’s stead on account of being Very Wise.

winkie country, liberated from the tyranny of the wicked witch of the west, is now the domain of the tin woodman.

dorothy is back in kansas where everything is grey and sandy and horrible.

the lion is...somewhere, presumably doing king-of-the-forest things.

glinda the good is occupied with research [trying to find out what the wizard did with ozma] in her home in quadling country, to the south.

QUOTE, the winged monkeys are now the slaves of glinda the good, who owns the golden cap that commands their services, END QUOTE.

mombi transformed the infant ozma into a boy named tippetarius because, why not, and raised him as her ward on a farm in gillikin country, to the north.

tip is a teenager and he does teenager things like making a life-sized puppet with a jack-o-lantern head to scare mombi with, as one does, and mombi has about had enough of this so she brews up a potion to turn him into a marble statue, as one does, and tip who does not especially want to be turned into a marble statue instead steals a pepper-box full of magic powder that makes things come to life, and runs away with his newly animate bestie/son jack pumpkinhead, AS ONE DOES. subsequently uses the magic powder to make a wooden sawhorse come to life so they don’t have to hoof it all the way to the emerald city.

the sawhorse is born with a limp and the personality of an octogenarian with no fucks left to give and also he periodically goes deaf on account of his ears breaking off, so when i say maria calavera is the sawhorse—

ANYWAY, minor hijinks ensue. jack blithely accepts everything his dear father says without question because his head is a pumpkin and he has been sapient for approximately eight hours, the terrible trio splits up for a bit on account of tippetarius falling off the sawhorse who likes to go real fast, consequently while jack and the sawhorse make it to the emerald city and meet the scarecrow, tip falls behind and crosses paths with general jinjur and her army of revolt.

jinjur is sick of the way things are and the powers that be and is therefore en route, armed with a pair of very glittery very pointy knitting needles and a lot of other girls outfitted in the same, to conquer the emerald city. tip is not about this revolution thing but tags along because he wanted to appeal to the scarecrow for help with the marble statue nonsense anyway; upon arrival jinjur and her army conquer the emerald city in approximately 0.2 seconds on account of the entire royal army being composed of one (1) man, the soldier with the green whiskers who guards the gates but squeals and books it at the first hint of a brandished needle.

tip races to the palace well ahead of the girls, who are busily sacking the city, to warn the scarecrow of the situation and reconvene with the rest of terrible trio, whereafter they and the scarecrow leave the cowardly soldier to his fate and gallop like the dickens to escape the city, heading west to regroup with the tin woodman. jack is now wracked by existential dread on account of the scarecrow having told him that pumpkins rot, meaning he spends the rest of the book worrying about his imminent decay and rapidly dwindling lifespan, this is fine dot jpg.

one unfortunate incident with a river and some drying-out and a nap later, they reach winkie country and rendezvous with *ahem* the magnificent! nickel-plated tin woodman, celebrated! emperor [it wounds his pride to be called only a king] of the winkies, nick chopper. who sweeps the scarecrow up in a hug because of how delighted! he is to see him again, tells jack not to be such a downer about the my-head-is-slowly-inevitably-rotting thing, and whose immediate response upon learning that the emerald city has been conquered is to declare, quote, we do not need an army; we four, with the aid of my gleaming axe, are enough to strike terror into the hearts of the rebels, end quote, also everybody gets tidied up and repaired and the scarecrow’s strutting by the time they disembark again.

somewhat less minor hijinks ensue on account of mombi not being pleased about tip skipping town and attempting to waylay them by means of dazzling, blinding illusions and, when that fails, dramatically altering landscape in hopes of getting them lost. the sawhorse breaks his leg and the group encounters the woggle-bug, who is very large and very keen to impress upon them that he is, having snuck into a schoolroom long ago and listened in on classes for months, thoroughly educated; eventually he was caught by the professor, transformed via magnifying glass into his present size, and subsequently ran away to do woggle-bug things. on his suggestion they fix the sawhorse’s leg by amputating jack’s, because jack is riding anyway owing to his poorly-fitted knees, and using that as a prosthetic for the sawhorse [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]. from there the woggle-bug swiftly proceeds to earn the whole group’s ire by making an offensive number of puns at their expense. they navigate through four more illusory obstacles [a raging river; a granite cliff; a writhing maze of dancing roads; a wall of fire] with the aid of the queen of the field mice.

on making it to the emerald city they are promptly captured by jinjur, who plans to dismantle everyone except tippetarius on the grounds of their not being human, but is interrupted by the timely arrival of some mice who frighten her out of the room long enough for the gang to escape by constructing a... thing, called the gump, out of a pair of sofas and a stuffed elk-like creature’s head and various other bits and bobs and animated with the final pinch of magic powder. it flies them out of the emerald city and overshoots quadling country by a wide enough margin to crash them into a nest of nasty jackdaws somewhere not in oz, a misadventure which mainly serves to facilitate the discovery of a secret compartment within the now-emptied pepper-box and, inside that, three silver pills that grant a wish when swallowed.

tip tries one to wish the gump repaired, which doesn’t work because it pains him so badly that he instead wishes he’d never taken it; the woggle-bug does the same and succeeds, they fly back home, the pills are lost, and they reach quadling country at last.

the squad attempts to fill glinda in. she already knows everything.

she fills them in on what she’s been up to, presents evidence mombi aided the wizard in his scheme to disappear ozma, and marches with them to reclaim the emerald city, intending to capture mombi and force her to reveal the truth. further illusion-based hijinks ensue of which the most potentially interesting as it pertains to rwby is that mombi transforms herself into a red rose in an effort to escape detection.

glinda sees through the ruse. mombi transforms herself into a griffin and flees, pursued relentlessly by glinda until she collapses from exhaustion in the desert waste beyond the border of oz—whereupon glinda lassos her with a golden thread that stifles her magic, drags her bodily back to the emerald city, and demands that she tell the truth or else die by glinda’s hand. mombi tries to lie, glinda is furious and having none of it, and mombi begrudgingly reveals tip’s true identity, whereupon glinda forces her to undo the curse and then strips her of her magical power forever; tip is restored to her true self, jinjur is swiftly deposed, and peace restored, hooray!, the end.

QUESTIONS!

WHY ARE YOU SO SURE SUMMER IS JINJUR? frankly a decent case could be made for interpreting cinder as the allusion to jinjur instead: jinjur is a wrathful but cunning scullery maid raging against the powers that be, and after all it is cinder who sacks beacon academy—i.e., the emerald city stand-in.

but here’s the thing: after routing the royal army, jinjur installs herself as the queen of oz and rules without interruption for most of the story. she is not ousted from this position until the final chapter. cinder is grievously injured before the battle is even properly ended, returns immediately to salem’s side, and has been a thorn in her side and also the sides of the heroes ever since—meanwhile, all this time, salem has had an unknown lieutenant stationed at beacon, searching for the crown. somebody has been holding that throne, as it were, and we have a certain silver-eyed warrior still unaccounted for.

further, jinjur’s army of revolt makes quite a conspicuous show of being united from every province, and she herself wears the colors of all four; in the event summer turns out to be working for salem of her own accord, which i think likely, her presumable reason is something along the lines of having burnt out and shattered under the pressure of being the ideal huntress, the lone guardian, the blessed warrior—precisely in the same way that we have seen ruby begin to crack under the same—and this, i think, dovetails tidily with the imagery of jinjur’s revolt. a turncoat summer rose who still holds to ozpin’s ideal of strength and peace through unity, who is perhaps reinforcing salem’s numbers at beacon by recruiting the people of vale, is what ozpin asked her to become, turned against him for how she suffered in becoming.

also, look at this flower. common name, malay rose:

it’s not a true rose; it’s etlingera venusta, and it belongs to the ginger family.

sidebar, i don’t think cinder has an ozian allusion except insofar as i suppose she performs the functional role of glinda’s army through her relation to salem. she’s, well, cinderella, and in being cinderella also a symbolic repetition of salem through her rapunzel aspect—cinder echoes the desperately furious girl in the tower, the fairytale heroine trapped by forces beyond her control, not the formidable sorceress who would lay waste to the gods.

BUT SALEM AS GLINDA, THOUGH? REALLY?

while it is clear that rwby’s primary reference is to marvelous land, there are a handful of overt nods to the film adaptation of wizard of oz specifically, in theodore’s ruby gloves and the black-and-white photo of the girl in gingham with the little black dog. naming the good witch of the north glynda as a nod to the film (and pop culture generally) conflating the two is hardly out of the question, and a tidy bit of narrative sleight-of-hand besides.

and, listen. it’s not just enslaving the flying monkeys and it isn’t just serenely running mombi into the ground and forcing her to reveal the truth and undo the harm she did to ozma; it’s also not just that glinda the good plays a critical narrative role following the wizard’s departure and the good witch of the north does not. it’s also that of the pair glinda is the more powerful and more formidable by an order of magnitude, and indeed glinda is said to be ageless, ancient, and perhaps the most powerful sorceress in the land of oz; it’s also that the ozian color-coding checks out in both directions (in glinda’s quadling country, everything is red; and gillikin country is purple); it’s also that glynda goodwitch was faultlessly loyal to a secretive cabal and believed in ozpin, as the good witch of the north believed in the wizard, whereas salem, like glinda the good, knows ozpin for a fraud, despises emerald for her deceptive semblance, and has a keen intuition and a short temper for being lied to.

the only respect in which salem and glinda do not, within the context of rwby’s ozian narrative, almost perfectly align is that salem is an antagonist and glinda is not—but here let me remind you that rwby’s mombi is the god of light, with her deceptive shape-changing and illusions reimagined as defter subterfuge and symbolically intertwined with the blinding of rapunzel’s prince. the god of light poisoned ozma’s ear against salem so well that he persuaded ozma to drink the potion and become the wizard of his own volition, cursed and blind to the true nature of the gods, his mandate, and his lost love.

but tippetarius learns the truth and finds ozma again; rapunzel’s tears heal the ruined eyes of her prince.

where do you think rwby is going with this?

AND LEO LIONHEART, THE LION FAUNUS, ISN’T THE COWARDLY LION?!

he’s the easily-cowed and fully-bearded guardian of the closest thing rwby’s scarecrow has to an emerald city to administer on the wizard’s behalf, and he is in this capacity an army of one because he’s sent every other warrior in the faculty away and sold half the huntsmen in mistral out to salem. salem sends her needling bastard of a henchperson to menace him and lionheart folds like wet cardboard, handing over the keys to the vault without a whisper of resistance. and once the battle for haven is ended, the former allies he stabbed in the back shrug and leave him to his fate at salem’s hands.

leonine faunus or not, the role lionheart plays is precisely that of the soldier with the green whiskers, the solitary and pathetically inept guardian who betrays the scarecrow and his allies out of panicked cowardice.

meanwhile the cowardly lion does not appear in marvelous land at all, but he does figure in ozma of oz—the third book—wherein he professes himself a coward still but acts no less bravely than he ever did, now a loyal member of ozma’s retinue and accompanied by his new friend, the hungry tiger. taiyang, who has either been doing big important secret cult things or else trying to psych himself up to leave his empty nest depression cabin ever since beacon fell and ozpin died, is a much likelier candidate for being the cowardly lion’s true analogue by far.

IS RAVEN JUST THE WOGGLE-BUG BECAUSE SHE’S KNOWLEDGE?

that’s part of it but not the entirety; note that the woggle-bug is not merely intelligent but gleaned all of his knowledge by spying, for no other reason than burning curiosity; note the professor who caught him and irrevocably changed him, for better or for worse, and his hasty escape for fear of being exploited thereafter; note that he is pompous and anxious and performs intelligence far more than he shows it, and note that his often-callous and sometimes-snide commentary is met with such sharp hostility by the others that at one point nick chopper implies a threat to murder him if he makes another pun at a companion’s expense.

and note, finally, that the woggle-bug does not properly enter the narrative until after the protagonists leave winkie country, the province for which atlas is very obviously an analogue. raven played a major role in volume five, of course, one which thoroughly alienated her from the rest of the ozian characters on both sides of the conflict... but then she vanished into the ether without a shred of resolution for anything but the question of whether the relic of knowledge would be retrieved and by whom, and if that isn’t a mere prelude in her character arc i’ll eat somebody’s hat.

and as for what her future role in the story might entail. well. three silver pills that grant you wishes—and one that poisons tip when he tries,  the same one the woggle-bug uses to mend their way home. three silver-eyed warriors ostensibly blessed by the god of light—and one a turncoat poisoned by the unbearable weight of ozpin’s ideals.

we still don’t know what raven knows, or who she learnt it from.

IF THE SILVER WISH PILLS ARE SILVER-EYED WARRIORS THEN, MARIA?

to activate the pills you need to swallow them and then count up to seventeen by two. the sawhorse is the one who solves the riddle, which is to start with half one, double it, and then count up by two from one to seventeen.

...WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID ABOUT FOUR ILLUSIONS AND A MOUSE?

the ever after may be bleeding wonderland out of every frame—and oh boy is it!—but, look, what is rwby if not a gleeful mishmash of inspirations and in the trailer and preview clip alone we’ve got a helpful mouse and three of the four [twisting, impossible paths? check. impassible cliff? check. walls of fire? check, twice over]. as obstacles go a torrential river crossing is not exactly out of left field in any setting—and then there’s the girl on the beach who’s wearing ozma’s original colors.

to say nothing of how well those four obstacles align so very nicely, symbolically, with ruby (paths), weiss (flood), blake (cliff), and yang (fire).

it’s a little eyebrow-raising if nothing else. something to watch.

[whumping-in-the-dark]

Chapter 4: Visitor Pt 1

Just two friends hanging out after a long time ^_^

Speaking of friends, a big thank u to my irl friend for reading through this :D who doesn't have tumblr yet hence no tagging :/ so if there are any grammar mistakes left it's on her 6u6

Ingredients: creepy/intimate whumpers, alluded future noncon [Honestly... more plot than pain. Mostly the introduction of a new character. I felt like wanting to keep the major torture stuff separate. So the hopefully good whump in the next part promsies]

Matt groaned as he shifted once more, trying to find a decent position in which to relax. He thought it'd be easy at first, but the man had tied his wrists actually closer to his knees than his ankles, forcing him to strain his shoulders. Not to mention, his ankles kept twisting the wrong way, and no matter how hard he tried he simply couldn't get himself to lie on his side. Each effort ended up in him nearly slipping off the couch, but flipping back onto his back at the last moment.

The doorbell rang and Matt froze. Who could it be right now? His mind wandered to any possible parcels he could have ordered. Oh right... That stuff he ordered for a friend. It was supposed to arrive the next day from what he could remember but it wasn't too unusual for it to be a bit early.

The semblance of a smile crossed his face-- as best as it could with his mouth stuffed full anyway. The delivery guy recognised him from all the things he'd ordered when he had first arrived here. He knew Matt lived alone.

If only Matt could reach the door before the man.

____

Daniel hummed to himself as he stepped out of the shower. The kid had a surprisingly decent house-- pretty new too by the looks of it. Didn't show signs of anyone else living there either. What a good catch. Pretty body pretty house.

Going through the closet attached to the master bedroom, he managed to find a red plaid shirt and a pair of black jeans that fit him decently. He'd have to get his stuff from the base pretty soon though, if he really decided to make this one permanent.

As he checked himself out in the mirror, he drummed his fingers on the wooden dresser. The whole house had a woody theme, not dark enough to match his personal preferences... but he still liked it.

His eyes fell to the canopy bed, snow-white bedsheets spread out on it... how would his little rabbit look all spread out on it for him, crimson dripping down-

The enthusiastic call of the doorbell dragged him back to his surroundings. Maybe his rabbit didn't live alone after all. Oh well. More toys to play with.

His gun tucked safely behind his shirt, he calmly walked down to the front door. The doorbell rang once more and his hand involuntarily went to the gun. "Protect me, Maria." He muttered under his breath.

Then, with a deep breath, he opened the door. An instant later, they were both pointing guns at each other's heads.

____

Matt watched wide-eyed from behind the stairs, lucky to have rolled his barely functioning body in there just in time to escape the man's notice.

"Ralph, what the fuck?" The man-- in his fucking clothes now-- complained, a strange friendliness behind his tone.

The olive skinned man-- Ralph-- shrugged, beaming. "Finally found you now, huh Danny? You really thought you could stay hidden from me? Me, of all people?"

Matt's brain struggled to jog up with the new information. The two were what... friends? Fuck. He was soo fucked.

The two laughed together casually, as if one of them hadn't nearly fucking raped someone a while ago. Matt doubted the other guy was even half as decent as-- who, Danny? Daniel? Did it fucking matter?

"Come on in now, Ralph." In a flash, both guns were back in their places. "Welcome to my new base."

The man-- Ralph? Did he have a full name-- whistled as he entered, closing the door behind himself. "Not bad. Definitely better than the last one. Who are you sharing it with this time around?"

What did he mean this time around? Had the bastard done it before too? How many times?

"A dark-haired one this time around. Still light-eyed though-- I haven't lost my taste for that just yet." The two began walking to the living room, towards him. "It was his wide terrified eyes that drew me in in the first place. Ah! I'm sure you'll find him pretty too."

"Oh yeah? Fucked him yet?"

Matt shuddered.

"Mhm, not really. I'm planning to experiment a bit with this one. If I had to guess, I doubt my rabbit has ever been with anyone. Should make it more fun, huh?"

Was that an insult? But Matt didn't have time to care. As the pair drew nearer and nearer, he pressed himself to the wall, silently begging the shadows to swallow him up. At the last moment, he squeezed his eyes shut, not willing to even gauge his situation.

"Oh hey! Here he is, huh." Ralph's animated voice reached his ears.

Matt whimpered as a rough hand grabbed his chin, tilting his head up. "Open your eyes, boy." Danny- Daniel's gravelly voice sent shivers down his spine.

Reluctantly, Matthew obliged. His gaze fell on Daniel's-- surprisingly soft-- gray eyes. "See, isn't he so pretty?" A smile danced on the edge of his lips.

Matthew sucked in a shaky breath as the fingers loosened to caress his cheek.

Ralph bent down, hands on his knees and a tilted head, to give his judgement. "Hmm... yeah... I think I like this one more than the last. Definitely more my type." He finished off with a grin, grabbing his hair to steal him away.

"He's still mine, you know." Daniel grumbled.

"Mhm." Abruptly, he let go. Matt winced as he fell flat to the floor, unable to support himself with his compromised limbs. "So, what do you plan on doing first? Fuck him in the bed or--"

"Nonono." Daniel voiced Matt's thoughts, albeit much more playfully. "I told you, I plan on experimenting on him. So let's start with something less sexual."

"Would he still be naked?"

"Well, wouldn't it be a waste of such a pretty body otherwise."

Matt shifted closer to the wall, chest heaving with violent inhales. How the fuck could they just talk about him like he was not even listening.... like he was-- what? A doll?? Tears welled up in his eyes as the two men turned to him, desire so plainly written across their faces. He shook his head as Daniel's hand hovered above him, desperately trying to plead with his eyes.

"Oof! Just look at those eyes." Ralph exhaled. "You might just get me addicted to light eyed boys too."

Daniel chuckled. "I know I know. The tears just look better in them."

"You should leash him, you know. Bet he'd look cute being dragged across the floor like this. It's about time you take his clothes off too. You're spoiling him way too much."

Retracting his hand, Daniel sighed. "Mm yea. Good point. I would have gone easy on him since it's his first day and all but... I don't wanna instill any bad habits either." Standing back up, Daniel ran a hand through his hair. "I'll get some stuff from the garage. Look after him, yeah?"

"Mhm. Don't worry about it."

Matthew watched wide-eyed as Daniel disappeared through the door, almost wishing for him to turn back. The other man seemed like an even crueler bastard.

"So..." Ralph crouched down. "What do you say we get you ready for him, hm?"

Matthew whimpered, shaking his head once more.

"So adorable." The man smiled, leaning forward to tap his nose. "You're right. I'm sure he'd like to watch."

A few minutes passed before Daniel returned, carrying a black duffel bag-- his black duffel bag. His expressions looked more focused now and Matthew feared the worst. Had he changed his mind and was planning to rape him after all? Ditch whatever he called his experiment? Oh fuck no.

"I'm surprised you didn't fuck him yet." Daniel handed Ralph the bag, before taking out a coil of rope from his pocket. Matt squeezed his eyes shut again.

"Alright, don't shy away now, my little rabbit." Daniel's voice came closer.

Matthew swallowed as he felt the rope being wound around his neck, the rough fibers tickling his soft skin. As Daniel worked on the knot, Matthew suppressed his tears. Suddenly, the pressure tightened, nearly choking him as his head was lifted above the ground. Eyes flying open instinctively, he saw Daniel tugging up the rope, a smirk on his face.

"Didn't I tell you not to shy away just now?" Daniel watched as Matt struggled to balance his weight on his knees. "Keep. Your. Fucking. Eyes. Open. Hm?"

Matt narrowed his eyes, giving him his nastiest glare. This fucking--

Daniel's smirk grew. "Let's see how much of that glare is left by the time we're done with you, yeah?"

[se-07spaceoreos]

I.I.W.H.F.W.? Chapter 15

Summary:

You know about red strings, but have you heard about golden ones, those with a bond so strong fate could not ignore it.

Time could not weaken it, love and hatred could not divide it.

Only one’s willingness to accept that it is over, is when their tether to the bond came to an end, sometimes mistakenly leaving the other bound to them without notice.

You didn’t know?

Good, you weren’t supposed too.

Because you were one of the first to witness it.

Warnings: Things briefly mentioned/alluded to; blood, death, guns, kidnapping(?), War (Age of Ultron), Swearing, Feel free to name any if I missed them

THE WARNINGS MENTIONED MAY NOT APPLY TO ALL CHAPTERS

Words: 941

The door burst open, Mr.Flores screamed. Why hadn’t I noticed sooner?

Idiot, you were distracted by the story 

“This is S.H.I.E.L.D get on the ground! We have the area surrounded!”

Maria

This was just like what had happened before, except unlike last time nothing happened. I was safe. Last time there wasn’t an old man, last time I was hurt, and last time Natalia didn’t rush towards me, at least I don’t think. 

Her hands flew to my face, examining it. I put my hands on top of hers, letting her.

“Are you alright? You don’t look hurt?”

If she didn’t sound so panicked, I would have basked in the feeling of her hands cupping my face, her thumbs rubbing my face.

“I’m fine! I’m fine. Don’t hurt him.”

At that she looked at me and her whole exterior changed, she put down her hands and gave me a look, a questioning, angry look.

“Then what the hell are you doing here?”

I wanted to tell her, I really did, but what if she couldn’t see the string? Would I ruin this friendship? Coworkship? I don’t know exactly where we stand. Insead, I answered her with a plea, the only one I could think of right now as I glanced back at the agent's cuffing Mr.Flores.

“Natalia, don’t hurt him, he didn’t do anything.”

She glanced back, taking in the whole scene before turning to me, her face and eyes stoic to anyone who didn’t know her, very angry for those who did.

“We will discuss this.”

I tilted my neck down, eyes finding the ground.

There’s no way I can avoid that conversation 

She turned and left, telling someone to take me to the car.

The flight back was awkward. Others not knowing why I did what I did. Maria giving me confused, untrustworthy glances, silently asking me why I lied to her. I couldn’t answer, I could only say sorry. 

The whole flight I had my eyes casted to the ground as I stood. We were on a jet. A public plane not useful for active S.H.I.E.L.D agents.

The feeling of embarrassment is probably why I went to Natalia and I’s room so fast after I said my apologies.

Now, now I was staring at the floor, Natalia’s eyes boring into me.

“Are you gonna tell me what the hell you were doing, or are we just gonna stare at random objects the whole day?”

I stayed quiet. She grew frustrated.

“There’s a reason why protection was assigned to you. You could have died!”

She wasn’t yelling, no. She has never yelled at me for as long as we’ve been here, for as frustrated as she grew. Yelling was far too uncomposed for her, but with how much tension was in her voice and frustration she gave off with her tone and body. You would think she was.

I said the only thing I could think of.

“But I didn’t”

She let out a chuckle, like she found the response unbelievable. 

I stood, not wanting to be still under her gaze when she was upset with me.

“Not this again! It doesn’t matter if it was an old man, or a child for that matter! If you’re not gonna tell me why, at least tell me what you were thinking!? Also, really. Lying to Clint!” 

I didn’t want to answer with a lie, so I deflected with a thought.  

“How’d S.H.I.E.L.D even find me? Did you guys track my phone or something? Put a tracker in my bag?”

The question was asked with innocent intention, I truly just wanted to know.

“No but we should have! With you running off like that!”

“Then how’d you find me!”

My voice arose with misplaced malice, covering my built up frustration with the past day's events. My tone now matching Natalia’s, if I could match her tone, that is.

We were both standing up now.

“What do you not want to be found?”

She extended her hands, moving them face up like the answer to my question was obvious, and it was.

“No, I just wanna know!? I won’t be mad, just tell me. Was S.H.I.E.L.D tracking me?” 

“No!  S.H.I.E.L.D was not tracking you. I followed you after I woke up and you weren't there!”

What does that mean?

Our voices abruptly stopped, the only sound you could hear was the drowned out commotion of people outside. My eyes skimming over the golden string, the question of if it was glowing still apparent in my mind like the first time I saw it. How was I supposed to know if it was glowing if it had always looked like this?

Surely she can’t mean that? She has Dr.Banner

My eyes met Natalia's. She looked scared.

She believes in soulmates 

I hated it.

But I want to know, I want you to know

I made up my mind, there was no point in hiding the truth.

“Don’t be scared.” I softly, looking at her. My eyes watering, not from the fear of rejection that I was wrong or because of the possibility I was right. But because I was scared.

I don’t care about getting hurt anymore, about you walking away, I can deal with it, I just want you to know 

I had already come to terms with being a part of the fallen, now it was my turn to be a part of the confessed.

“I see it too.”

Natalia’s eyes widened.

Other Chapters

Digital Library

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

victorian child voice hi can you please give me Guy factoids (and headcanons if you want)

sure. I've kept tabs on this man plenty and a lot of the facts make me happy

Guy is tall, at least in one way or another, as he states people have called him "longfellow". that's another tern for a tall man

One of Guy's other nicknames is "Roberta". he asks you not to question it

He claims to have never read a book in its full, but is great at writing essays and busy work, as he got an A in high school English for a book he read cliff notes on. it is to be noted that Guy brings books to the beach. it's unknown what he does with the books. it's possible he gets bored and never stops halfway

He mentions only a single girl he's dated (Maria Bouncer). Every other woman he mentions bails on him before the date is over (usually due to random things; cringe)

He loves trees and frogs, and dares you to say something bad about either.

He never mentions currently having pets. He shares this fact with Buzz and Nate.

Guy's favourite foods include mint milkshakes, Pringles, and milk by itself. Whatever makes him happy I guess!

Guy LOVES kissing. He makes a LOT of jokes about kissing just about anyone, from hockey players to his opponent in squash. He also alludes to enjoying other people kissing.

He denies stalking his jogging neighbor

As a child, he played peewee baseball/t-ball. his coach had... unique opinions on him.

He knows a few Yiddish phrases, which isn't special since almost all the hosts do, but it's a very hard to trigger line. You need everyone to get the Fiber Optic Field Trip question from the puppeteer wrong. The hardest part for me was recognizing the phrase actually.

Guy cannot tell Spanish, French, and German apart. He shares this fact with Buzz. Guy also hates Latin.

His family is implied to be dysfunctional and quick to argue, but he very rarely talks about anyone in it at all. His entire family hates one of his grandfathers, saying he's his grandmother's shame.

Like Cookie and Schmitty, he wears glasses (as shown in his single on-screen performance). It's unknown why he needs glasses, but it's entirely possibly he needs reading glasses, as he struggles to read some cards.

As for headcanons

Guy is bisexual (heavily implied but never confirmed, ya know). He was attracted to men before he was attracted to women (when you're surrounded by guys your age in sports it just happens)

Guy can float, but he cannot swim well. Would he drown, no, but if you asked him to do laps it'd take forever.

Guy's worst performing sport of the four big sports (football/soccer, baseball, hockey, American football) is football/soccer. High power, low control.

Guy went to college for a sports broadcasting degree. He was scouted for YDKJ during a sports game he did commentary on near (but not in) Chicago, giving the game way more flavour than it deserved

He is the youngest child. Besides his obvious youngest-child-energy, I simply headcanon Bob as his oldest brother, and since Bob mentions a younger sister, Guy's sister is the middle child. I have designed all three of these characters and not one of the 3 most reoccurring hosts. Wowie Zow.

Guy is heavily implied to have both autism, dyslexia, and some form of depression. He vocally stims (random singing and making weird vocal inflections), not recognizing boundaries or sarcasm (such as his relationship with Cookie), and is overly empathetic. Guy additionally is horrible at spelling and remembering directions (mixing up North and South frequently) and cannot get into books/reading long passages. Additionally, Guy has frequent dramatic outbursts that don't feel faked like some other hosts. He'll cry on a dime and has multiple occurrences where he has suicidal thought. Therapy. Therapy for Guy.

My interp of Guy that is 25% horse and resembles a horse satyr is not a headcanon, but a warning.

[sunilification]

Michael Corleone as Ubermensch?

Another one overdue, settling all old scores--

An entire century was a single seed of thought for Nietzsche. Sigmund Freud , Karl Jaspers, Martin Heidegger, Oswald Spengler, Thomas Mann, Hermann Hesse, Rainer Maria Rilke, André Gide, Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, George Bernhard Shaw, WB Yeats, one cursory glance through the streets of 20th century intellect and the influence of Nietzsche is undeniable. Some men indeed are born posthumously.

With all due respect for his gifted ability for original and innate insights, it would be unjust to credit Nietzsche alone for such remarkably widespread influence. For, he had the privilege and the premise to take his aim standing on the shoulders of giants: From Plato to Dostoevsky, he had systematically drawn from and dissected all schools and thoughts before him. What he came up with the confluence of such a comprehension was an abstract and fragmented ideology that would go on to define the direction of the 20th century starting from Freud in the early part to the deconstructive post-modern movement during its later quarter.

Anyone who is acquainted with the works of Nietzsche would know that there is no single defining principle in his thought unlike most of the schools that preceded him. In Nietzsche, one encounters abstract planks which are hard to be understood and thereby are only open to interpretations. Yet they are recognised as a salient signposts in the journey of human thought. One such major plank is that of Ubermensch.

Nietzsche alludes to the Ubermensch in the opening segment of Thus spake zarathustra and only vaguely without much elaboration . This unfortunately has lead to the often misconceived notion that Ubermensch is an ideal man superior to any other average human. A mistake even balanced thinkers like Santayana couldn’t escape. I think an easier, although agreeably a tedious attempt to understand Nietzsche’s Ubermensch is to follow his thought process through his complete works beginning from The birth of Tragedy to Ecce Homo as one single entity. But alas! Even then, just like life, all one gets is to make only an interpretation. I have, since being introduced to Ubermensch tried to peel layer after abstract layer to understand this concept at different times and from different perspectives. I saw that such efforts led me to form a core of a concept often wrapped by other changing satellite-ideas. Naturally the next step was to find the match for the concept amongst famous people known. I found weirder and obscure matches but a popular and a compelling one would come from a fiction. And the more I ponder I about him(character) and his life the more I’m convinced he has come to be the valueless nihilistic icon that Nietzsche had written nearly hundred years back. He is Michael Corleone , conceived by Mario Puzo but imprinted in our memories by the genius of Coppola in the form of the talented Al Pacino. Yes, very few men in the history of humanity for what it is now and what is to be written, would supersede Michael Corleone as an example for Ubermensch.

I initially had thought of writing this post by alternatively comparing Nietzsche’s writings with the character of Michael corleone and sketch out the similarities/differences. But it made me realise that it is too intricate and also perhaps quite demanding on the reader if s/he is not well acquainted with either or both. Hence to avoid the risk of that free floatingness I have decided in favour of just presenting a summary of Michael Corleone’s character. Hopefully this would encourage the readers to find out more on Nietzsche ‘s idea of Ubermensch and make their own judgement.I have restricted only to film and not the charecter in the book on which it was based. Again, such a task being a product of individual taste and perception naturally it precludes any logical consistency and objectivity. Therefore dear reader, proceed with utmost prejudice.

Michael is almost like any man, brought up in a protected culture, loving and loved by his family, starry eyed at the ideals , proud of his nation and privileged to make his conscientious choices. He aspires to lead himself and his wife to be into a civil domestic life. One, that promises respect and comfort that any man seeks. Yet Michael appears like a man who hasn’t made his peace. Underneath all , there is a mild air of chastened sadness around him that is presumably imagined to have come from an underlying conflict. On one hand, as an intelligent being he feels strongly for his values that define him, on the other he understands that the family he loves so much and is a part of is not legitimate and is contrary to the very values he cherishes. In this sense of understanding he departs from any average hero. He is not a Christ, Gandhi or Spartacus who symbolise a moral struggle in a value conflict with the extant inimical premises. On the contrary, Michael, born into a paradox, is in conflict with himself. He starts out as the militant attacking himself under peaceful conditions. His yearning to pull himself away from the family shall always be overcome by the fact that he is born into it. As perhaps you would expect Michael to have done all his growing years- the more he reflects about himself and the family, the more he is wants to pull away. Yet is convinced that a respite eludes him , a sad realisation which perhaps renders him so cold, mean and calculative. Unlike a few other protagonists known, it must be noted that Michael chooses to be dedicated to the family out of his own volition. He is not prodded into it. Or there is no personal identification with the pathos that he chooses to lead. Nothing he does is impetuous or precedent. Doesn’t a man hurt worst when punished for his virtues?

Soon, this split devotion to his family is moulded and given form leading him to make desperate choices and share the repercussions of the sins he isn’t personally responsible for but the ones he fully understands and vows his allegiance to. He lets go of his cherished values just like how Ulysses departed from Nausicaa, blessing it rather than loving it. As he says, it is all business. Nothing personal!! So all of this is done with disturbing ease. Thereby, he ensures the personal suffering ensuing from the change in his value system is smooth and well concealed. From his individual aspirations to his family and love, he renews himself in newer values every time he fails himself. And since each of the value is further apart from his real wish he copes by making himself emotionally inaccessible to others and more harrowingly to himself. His anger is the smoke arising off the cold ice. He never grieves in spite of one bereavement after another befalling upon him. As a being, he erases himself. One can only speculate what were his own thoughts about deserting his girl friend and marrying another woman elsewhere, losing her and then after return resuming the old relationship blithely. And in this whole process of alienation that is coupled with personal expectation to fulfil his responsibilities, he departs further away. And away.[1] From everything. Slowly he loses personal desire, value, identity. He will because he ought to. His life is slowly ushered into decadence.

But it must be noted this is only in principle but not in phenomenon. He successfully manages to evade any affective identification towards him and also he is totally in control of his acts and hence is prepared to be accountable for the consequences.

An illustration would help- in the last scene, when Kay questions Michael if he really killed Carlo (Brother in law)? He lividly raises his voice warning her not to question him about his business. This scene evokes two type of principal responses from the audience-- 1.To worship Michael as a symbol of power(and dominance) 2. To sympathise with Kay. But, mostly it is forgotten that he was the same young man dressed in an Marines? uniform who had sat and conversed softly with her at the marriage in the first scene.

Far more importantly, no one would hate him or feel for him. Although it is known that he himself who has consciously willed his destiny (or decadence) he successfully evades hatred and sympathy. That is the elegance of the whole mechanism. Within Michael, a man dies and other is born every time. With this being sustained as a means of preserving himself , his worth as a value(self) ceases and a process begins[1].

If the first part was alienation and initiation of the process, second would be the inevitable direction it had to take. Of power, will and its callousness. He has now learnt very well that the greatest juncture of life is when we gain courage to rebaptise our badness as the best in us. There is no such thing as a moral phenomenon. There is only desire and will. And the rest lies in the great ocean of contempt to be concealed in the heart. In this duties that he has reached out for himself, we see that his fears are validated again - that even a slightest carelessness on his part would mean doom to his successful efforts so far. Similar to the making of Plato’s philosopher king, he battles against everything in the world. Against unidentified enemies, against the state, against his wife (who seems be growing distant), disloyal friends, family, and most notably against himself.

This is symbolised in what I regard as one of the greatest scenes ever captured for the motion picture[2]. I think it runs for about a full minute and a half or two at the beginning of the second DVD. Michael in the heart of the senate enquiry with a failed attempt on his life behind him returns in a car to his Brooklyn mansion. It is winter in New York and one can notice the sullen skies and the overnight snow trodden all around. His car is let in and a solemn looking Michael dressed in a dark suit, a long overcoat and a bowler hat carrying a briefcase gets down and walks slowly towards the door dragging himself in heavy steps. He pauses to look at a small toy car of his child. He comes into the house moving about the study and the dining room, glancing intently at the belongings before he rests his suitcase and takes off the hat. Finally he stands before one of the rooms and finds Kay absorbed in tailoring. The background music is aptly kept minimal. Not a single word is uttered.

It is the pain and the possibilities that adds depth to the character of this scene. Bound to his family, he realises the ultimate of all the truths that in spite of everything, he is alone and doomed to be prepossessed in fundamental doubts. The ones he cant share with others or make peace within himself. At this juncture, he supersedes his desires as responsibility/duty into an abstract attribute, beyond good and evil that takes control and care of him passively into the future. It all comes naturally now, with no emotion or thought underneath. There is no family now, it is him and a world that wants to be without him. And the consequences.

Not everyone, I just want to wipe off my enemies, that is all. Even if the enemy is supposedly his own brother he is pushed aside, mercilessly. A demonstration of exercise of will naked without any form of draped morality. Or even pretension of. He survives. His family survives. But in his efforts to survive he has created a world of its own new values, successful and productive to many lives but built on personal losses, including his own -- his children and family as his wife separates from him. Now,expectedly, The apollonian is slowly parted with to make way of growing Dionysian.

The criminally underrated third part is completion of the harmony[3] . With age and failing health Michael has grown soft. The powers are distributed and fragmented throughout in return for much sought legitamacy. He is shown to be socially humorous, something he wasn’t before( I was listening to Tony Bennett songs). It is all about reminiscing and a Dionysian accounting himself for the past within. He understands his acts- the inevitability and responsibility of it all. (remember the Pope’s words it is only just for him to suffer) But still he is neck deep in the consequences of his own making. He continues in another conflict to complete the promise he made to his father and also unable to restrain his own need for security and power. As he remorses (not repent) for his deeds, he tries to-- cut off his children from his business , mend his relationship with his wife and for the last time he takes one final half hearted plunge at more power -all small steps to pave way for his descent as he himself understands very well.(The more I want to get out, the more they pull me in) And consequently, he ends up paying a heavy ransom for his life, the one he never owned in a full sense anytime. He fails to protect his daughter and his son does not share the lineage of his dreams.

Understandably, for Michael life has come full circle. It is here one might start identifying with his futility and take him for a version of a tragic hero.I think casting him into the mould of tragic hero would be imposing a self presumptous role on his life, a life that has not been open to us in the first place.Although his life has been tragic in a sense there are huge issues that separates him from a conventional tragic hero.

One could easily as well imagine Michael to be taking his son to a baseball game on a Saturday noon or retiring as a senator too dignified to use a walking stick in public. But then, knowing Michael, he would have known well at the bottom that he had more to offer and effect world better. And still, the irony of it all is that if given the choice he still would have been compelled himself to choose the life he did.

Again and again. Eternally. because that is what makes his pain, glory, legacy, himself.

The concluding shot is a deserving tribute-a frail, dust-beaten image of the old Michael Corleone stooped in a chair, open to the sun, slowly falls unto the earth lifeless; him a moral idealist, son, brother, lover, father, and above all Don corleone, breathes his last - lonely and alone, resigned and trodden like a common man. He has lost his father, brothers, wives, friends, mother , daughter and the grand empire he constructed, in fact everything that he ever valued. He has no more to offer, accept, refuse or bargain. His entire life has amounted to neither individual glory nor personal love that could be cherished. He is not a successful hero , not even a failed martyr. Yet he has changed the world around him irrevocably as such and given every possible chance he would continue to do the same. And In that-- he has transcended himself, history, and humanity thus transforming himself into an idea, into an abstraction , into Ubermensch.

At the end, despite everything , what he represents beside a caution is hope and power of will and a constant attempt to be better eternally against everything, however futile that such a venture is in itself, that being the nature and the inclination of us all as humans , in different shades of desires and varying resources at disposal he becomes the essence and embodiment of humanity.

That is the tragedy and the beauty of it all.

Where you see ideal things, I see what is --

human, alas, all-too-human. I know man better.

~Friedrich Nietzsche, Ecce Homo

[1] It is this process that Coppola has beautifully captured on the film. Notice the lack of subtitles in the restaurant shooting scene for Italian but when Michael is in Italy subtitles are used while he speaks to Apollonia’s father . It is this smooth flow in transformation in values that Nietzsche alluded to so abstractly.

[2]That scene is unbearably haunting. The first time I watched it I was too occupied with the story and missed it under my nose, but the second time around I was almost choked. Every drop of ink spilled from Freud , Mann, Sartre, to Camus, et al has been so gracefully captured in one cinematic moment. Beside its conceptual bearings it not only shows how coppola has understood the character of Michael but also is a stamp on Al Pacino’s talent. In my view only two actors could have pulled it off as convincingly Al Pacino did- Herr Humphrey Bogart and that cute Cossack named Sean Penn. The latter perhaps would have needed a tighter director. The scene also is an excellent reference for film techniques, for e.g. lighting and sound , music. Et al. Pure mad genius.

Trivia -Coppola suffers from Bipolar affective disorder which my friend considers as a role of living a playful god and pained human in one life.

[3] Although not widely agreed, I’ve never felt the series would have been complete without part 3. The scenes in the third part are in a unique way mirrored with the first-The function, hospital scene, the conversations(with Kay, Mancini, his son Anthony with his own in part1 ) the assassinations. Etc.

PS- Having not said all and with the length of the post, I am not quite happy but the Glasgow London train doesn’t run indefinitely.

[lilyofthesword-writes]

Insistence

Summary: Loki is being stubborn even when injured, not wanting help for fear of seeming weak. You ignore his protests and tend to him anyways.

Pairing: Loki x Field/Combat Medic!Reader

Word Count: 2,864

Warnings/Disclaimers: Mild violence. Injuries, burns. I don’t go into gory detail. Minor character death alluded to.

A/N: This one took longer than I anticipated. I wound up rewriting it midway through. The whole combat medic has been on my list of ideas for a while with only the most basic idea in my head. Once I start writing, it veered off in a different direction.

Masterlist

“I do not require your assistance, Mortal,” Loki spat, his voice lacking the venom it was usually laced with especially when you were trying to do your job.

You scoffed, gently dabbing at the tiny lacerations on his cheek. “Well, you’re getting it anyways. What kind of field medic would I be if I didn’t help everyone on the team?”

He scowled as you brushed a rogue ribbon of inky hair behind his ear so you could make sure you didn’t miss anything. In truth, this was the first time he didn’t continuously insist on pushing you away. There was always something about him not needing your treatments or someone else needing to be tended to first - Any excuse he could use to deny help. Then again, there was nowhere for him to run this time.

Either Fury’s intel had been wrong, your team’s plans had been leaked or both. The HYDRA base you all had been sent to had been overstocked in both operatives and ammunition. Even with the legacy team that accepted Loki almost half a year ago, you weren’t prepared.

Nat had been the worst, immediately being taken down when she attempted to infiltrate the base. That was when the HYDRA members started spilling out from within and around the base. With the rest of the team providing backup, Clint was able to help you lug her back to the Quinjet where you cleaned the deep gash in her side and stitched her together again. Of course, Clint wasn’t going to stand down. He stayed by the ramp, firing arrow after arrow to keep some of the heat off his companions. You wound up having to patch up his bleeding leg while he continued to fight.

Steve was the next to return. He collapsed in a seat as you reached him. Bruised and battered, he was mostly alright save for the possibility of some broken ribs. Tony crashed-landed onto the ramp, the metal of his suit screeching and scraping as he skidded inside. He was in the same boat as Steve along with his suit quickly losing power. There wasn’t much left he could do. Thor lumbered backwards into the Quinjet, Mjolnir still boomeranging out into the field to take down what enemies he could. With the God of Thunder standing guard, Clint disappeared to the cockpit.

The engines whirred to life. “Okay, guys! Jet’s primed and ready for take off. We got everyone?” Clint called out.

You took a look around, hearing the engines ready themselves. Thor cursed under his breath as he continued throwing his hammer. Where was… Oh… Oh no.

Shoving the cotton ball doused in antiseptic into Tony’s hand, you peeled away from his side and hovered near Thor. Against the bright white snow, a twister of black, green and gold ferociously danced. Loki was still out there.

“Do NOT take off yet!” you hollered back.

With a huff, you opened a hidden compartment and pulled out a sniper rifle along with its tripod. After piecing together the barrels, you attached the small tripod and settled on the floor, taking aim in Loki’s general direction. You popped off a couple rounds onto any of the HYDRA agents who dared try to catch the mischievous god off guard.

Tony shuffled to his feet, cursing when he realized just what was happening. By this time, he had removed himself from the drained Iron Man suit. “Trade places, Legolas! Reindeer Games is still out there!” He dashed to the cockpit.

You fired again, this operative having gotten too close for comfort. Loki had turned just in time to see opponent drop dead at his feet. With a near indiscernible nod that could only be seen through your scope, he carried on, slowly making his way to the Quinjet.

Despite his own injury, Clint was swiftly back at your side. With the extra backup, an exhausted Thor was able to make it off the ramp, farther into the fray and meet his brother halfway. Clint and you kept the path clear enough for them to rush back. It was stunning to see how well they could work together when they needed to.

The moment they were in reach of the ramp, you leapt to your feet and with Clint pulled the exhausted brothers on board. The ramp lifted as you tugged Loki into sitting, and the Quinjet took off. So, here you were, attempting to take care of the trickster’s wounds after having checked on Thor.

“I am a god,” he sneered half heartedly. “I will heal quickly. This is unnecessary.” He winced lightly as the antiseptic stung his cheek.

You sighed, “Any one can heal those cuts, but just because you can do so faster than the rest of us, doesn’t mean you are impervious to infections. Just less likely to get them.”

He went silent at that, either realizing you were right or just not desiring to argue further. Done with one side, you swapped to the seat on the other side of him. With a clean, freshly wetted cotton ball, you gingerly began cleaning his other cheek. All things considered, Loki didn’t look too bad. At least, not as bad as he could have. With your freehand, you coaxed him to lift his chin up so you could tend to the lacerations on his neck.

“Why?” His voice was soft, just loud enough for only you to hear him.

“Why, what?” You copied his volume level.

“Why do you insist on this?”

You stopped your ministrations, raising your gaze to look him in the eye. His face was uncharacteristically soft as he looked back at you. Though he tried to hide it, his aventurine eyes held an unfamiliar vulnerability.

“Well,” you started slowly, carefully choosing your words. “You are a member of this team, and you should be treated as such.” Fingers still ghosting his chin, you guided him to face you. “You deserve the same treatment I would give everyone else.”

His brow furrowed as he studied you cautiously. It took him a moment before he finally spoke again. “Should that be what you wish to believe, it is fine by me.” You could hear the sharpness returning to his voice.

The god turned away, leaning back in his seat with closed eyes, effectively ignoring you. Now, you could have chosen to change seats, to move away from the cold attitude clearly directed at you, but you stayed. One, you were tired like everyone else and didn’t feel like getting up. Two, you were going to be stubborn and bug him with your presence.

Eventually a calm quiet enveloped the Quinjet, seeping into your bones. Feeling your eyes droop, you settled in your seat for as much comfort as you could get before drifting off.

You imagined hours had passed by the time you woke. Your muscles ached from the position you had fallen into, your neck being the worst. Tentatively rolling your shoulder, you tried to sit up and stretch only to find you couldn’t. Your head was resting you thought was the side of your seat, but there was a light weight keeping on top keeping you from moving. You opened your eyes to a shocking sight.

No, your sleeping position was a bit different from what you thought. Your makeshift pillow happened to be Loki’s shoulder. He, in turn, had his head on yours, probably having fallen asleep shortly after you. It seemed like he was still asleep, his chest rhythmically rising and falling in a way that could be described as soft. You could only imagine the tranquil expression on his face. There was absolutely no way you were going to look. You would probably move too much and wake him, and that would be the end of this little moment.

The rest of the team was asleep, save for Thor. Even with exhaustion drenching his body, he was wide awake, grinning like a madman when he realized you had caught him watching. How long had he bared witness to the scene unfolding? With a scowl, you pressed your finger to your lips, signaling him to keep quiet. He merely nodded, that knowing smile still plastered on his face.

The call you received from Maria shocked the lingering sleep from your body. A small team had been formed to infiltrate a hostage situation - a team that included Nat, Loki, Steve and another field medic whose name you hadn’t even had the chance to remember yet. The mission had soured once they reached the hostages. Everyone was being brought back to the compound for treatment. It was all hands on deck.

Quickly shucking your pajamas, you threw on a pair of scrubs and sneakers and made a mad dash to the Med Bay. The place was pure chaos. Most of the doctors and nurses were tending to the hostages in the main rooms. The team was near the back in separate rooms.

Spotting Maria who was attempting to direct people and bring some semblance of order to the wing, you rushed over to her. “Where do you need me?”

She flipped through the files on her data pad, not even looking up to see who she was speaking to. “Everyone has a medic taking care of them except for Steve and Loki. Start there.”

“Understood,” you nodded, leaving Maria to do what else was needed.

Down the hall, you took note of the injuries you could see of the various patients. Burns… Lots of burns… What in the world happened?

Passing by Nat’s room, she seemed mostly alright. She gave you a minute bob of her head that you reciprocated before meeting up with Steve. He had burns along one side of his body. Thankfully, the treatment would be minimal compared to some of the others.

“Hey,” he greeted you with a grimace as you began your work.

“How’re you feeling?”

He huffed out a tiny laugh, “Honestly, not terrible.”

With the top half of his suit tugged down, you gingerly cleaned and added ointment to soothe the wounds. “What happened out there?”

“One of the hostages… Well… He had an explosive… Saddled up to Trevor…”

Oh… The field medic… Oh god…

Steve sucked in a breath like he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. “Loki tried to contain it, but… We were all a little late in reacting.”

Your hands stilled. “How bad is he?”

The super soldier plucked the salve container from your fingers. “He’ll live, but if you’re really that worried about him, I can handle the rest of this.”

“You know him.” You tried to snag the container back. “He’ll come up with any excuse to not let us help him. If he knows I left you here, he’ll insist I leave him alone.”

Steve held it away from you with his good arm like a kid holding its younger sibling’s toy out of reach. “I doubt he will do that this time,” he smiled reassuringly, a glint of knowing shining in his eyes.

Leaning on the bed, you heaved a sigh. “You’re gonna drag me in there if I refuse, aren’t you?”

“Yup,” he ended with a pop. “Now get going!” He shooed you away.

“Fine,” you groaned, playfully dramatic. “But you can bet I will be back later to make sure you did everything right.”

He let loose a chuckle. “I’d expect nothing less.”

Leaving Steve to his own devices, you went to the next room down the hall. The door was shut and the privacy blinds were closed. Was Loki hurt that badly that the others had to be hidden away?

With a quick announcing knock, you steeled yourself and pushed the door open, sliding in before silently closing it again. When you turned to face Loki, you were met with something you hadn’t quite expected to see. What burns still littered his skin looked as though they were mostly healed over, but that wasn’t the problem. With his armor off, you were able to get a good look at his arms and upper torso.

Blue. His skin was blue. Ridges meticulously adorned his arms, up his chest and even his face. It was such a stark contrast to his Asgardian form, yet it still suited him well. From unmarred, alabaster skin to decorated, indigo skin. Perfection in both forms.

“Loki?” you announced your presence as softly as possible.

His face scrunched as he squinted his eyes open to find you standing beside him. “Aren’t there others that need tending to?” The hoarseness of his voice betrayed the harshness he attempted to convey.

“We’ve enough staff to manage everyone well enough,” you shook your head with a smile.

Now that you were closer, you could see he was sweating profusely. His breaths were so shallow. Brushing away a locket of hair matted to his forehead, you found his skin warm… Much warmer than it should be. Instead of recoiling immediately, you laid your palm flush with his forehead. “You are burning up!”

You pulled away to pop outside the door. Waving down a nurse, you asked him to bring in as many ice packs as he could. What was currently stored in the room would not be enough. Returning, you pulled out all of the packs. You wrapped them in some towels so they wouldn’t directly touch his skin. Then, you placed them around Loki, hoping this would be enough until the nurse got back with you.

The god rested silently while you worked. It was only when you pulled up a chair next to him to keep an eye on his vitals that he finally spoke. “Why are you still here?” A sort of vulnerability leaked out of his voice.

“Because you need help,” you deadpanned, really not wanting this argument again.

“No.” His brow furrowed with frustration, ruby eyes staring at the ceiling. “Why haven’t you run yet?”

You brushed a little more of his tresses away from his face. “And why would I do that?”

“Are you blind? Do you not see the monstrosity before you?” He scowled, still refusing to look at you.

“No, I don’t.”

He barked out a laugh that he immediately regretted. “Then what, pray tell, do you see?”

Reaching across for his cheek, you guided him to face you, receiving little resistance. His skin was still hot but not quite as much as before. “I see a person who risked his own safety to protect a bunch of civilians. There’s no way you could be a monster even with your jötun form.”

“So, you do know what I am…” A deep frown etched across his face.

“Yes… If it makes you feel any better, only a select few know. I have to know the medical histories of all the Avengers if I’m to treat them in the field.”

Silence…

“And for what it’s worth, this,” your thumb graced the apple of his cheek, “is not scary in the slightest.”

His eyes searched yours frantically for any hint of dishonesty. A trembling hand raised and settled on yours, pressing it further on his face. His lips parted to speak but was interrupted by a light knock on the door.

With an apologetic smile, you slid your hand from his grasp. The nurse from before had returned with the ice packs. A quick “thank you” and you brought the tray in the room, shutting the door behind you. Just as you had before, you surrounded him with the new packs. Loki’s chest rose and fell more deeply as he cooled down even further, skin morphing into a pale sky blue and eyes returning to the bluish-green you’ve come to know.

“Well, you’re at least responding quickly. How do you feel?” You hovered at his bedside.

He locked eyes with you again, a cocktail of emotions swirling about despite his attempts to keep a straight face. “I-” he cleared his throat. “Better…”

“Good, good…” Your hands fiddled with the sheets. “Is there anything you need?”

Loki’s lips pursed, and he swallowed thickly. His digits brushed against yours, halting your nervous tick. “Stay?”

“Of course,” you breathed.

The corners of your mouth tugged upwards as you glided your fingers into his palm like two puzzle pieces meant to fit together, giving his hand a light squeeze. You pulled your seat closer and sat back down.

Just as you made yourself comfortable, Loki raised your hand to his face. His lips grazed over your knuckles as he whispered, “Thank you…”

“Anytime.” And you meant it. “I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me.”

He let your entwined hands float back down to the bed as he chuckled. “If that’s the case, I do hope you are well prepared.”

“Oh, yeah?” You smirked. “And just how long do you plan on keeping me around?”

“For as long as you will have me.”

Little did either of you know, Thor had come to the Med Bay to check on Loki after he heard the news and was listening to the conversation through the closed door. He decided to leave you be for now. The congratulations and light teasing could wait until tomorrow.

Tag List: @nahthanks​

[littlemisssquiggles]

Ruby Alone

As you all have seen, since prior to the last episode, I’ve been sharing my thoughts and ideas on the theory of V8 concluding with the “death” of RWBY after they fall “off Remnant and into a mysterious Other World”, as alluded to by Oscar.

While I’m still inclined to believe that theory may become possible given what transpired in this recent episode, in reviewing the RWBY V8 Opening, I noticed something interesting about the visuals again which caught my attention.

During the opening, RWBY falling was hinted much earlier in the theme during these shots right here. It’s these two shots of RWBY’s signature weapons falling through negative space which is later followed up by the opening ending with the weapons landing together on the ground.

However, here’s the bit that I think is noteworthy that I didn’t take into account before. Although the weapons of all four main girls were shown falling together through space and landing on the ground, not only is Crescent Rose the last one to hit the ground but it is also the ONLY one shown in the final shot of the opening.

It is also worth noting that the weapons fall in this particular order---first Ember Celica, then Gambal Shroud, then Myrtenaster and final Crescent Rose which ironically spells RWBY backwards.

And going back to my theory about RWBY falling in order....with Yang falling first then this is all starting to make more sense.

Going back to my point---Crescent Rose---Ruby’s weapon is the only weapon that landed on the ground but didn’t fade to darkness like the others. Instead, Crescent Rose is the only one remaining in the snow on what appears to be Remannt. Keeping that in mind, it’s making me start to ponder an alternative to my V8 finale theory. 

What if…I’m actually mistaken about the whole RWBY team falling prey to the Other World ? 

What if…as an alternative prediction, V8 will end with Ruby as the last man standing and the sole surviving member of her team after the rest “die” to the void?

Thus; V9 becomes Ruby’s story as she deals with the depression of losing her whole team; all obviously culminating with her eventually reuniting with them in the Other World. But before that, it’s mostly just about Ruby. Not RWBY. But just Ruby since RWBY started with just Ruby on her own in Remnant, trying to become a huntress. She only ends up going to Beacon and meeting and forming her own team due to Ozpin’s influence.

So imagine if...after everything she’s been through these last eight seasons, things just go back to how they were before. Ruby is on her own again. No team to lead. No big sister to guide and protect her (although ALPNE is there of course). No “BFFs” or “future-sister-in-law” on the same team to fuel her spark of hope. She no longer has her main friends by her side.

Ruby will be on her own for the first time in a long time and it becomes just her story for the most part of V9 as she does her best to figure out things all while the rest of the cast who survived the fall---Penny, ALPNE and their allies in Vauco and eventually Vale---try to provide her with the emotional support that she needs in place of the one she lost.

For the first time, the story is not about Ruby having to be the spark of hope to support others but…her friends, at least the ones she still have, coming together to support her for once in a time when she can truly need it.

Like I said. It would be the story of Ruby. Not RWBY. Just Ruby. If you get what I mean.

...And now for a squiggly rant...about Ruby:

One general complaint that I’ve heard from the FNDM about Ruby including Little Red Ruby fans like myself is that Ruby has more or less received the shortest end of the stick in terms of development over the past couple of seasons since V4…despite the fact that she is our central main character who is the leader of our core team with her name literally being in the title. Not to mention that Ruby is also the face of the RWBY franchise. When RT isn’t promoting the whole RWBY team together, it’s mainly Ruby to represent RWBY since of all the girls, she is the main one as the main protagonist of RWBY. At least…she’s supposed to be?

To be blunter, I’m just going to call out the fat Heffalump in the room---Ruby Rose, despite being the leader of RWBY---despite being our title character and face of the franchise---the one characters in the show always turn to since she’s THAT important---despite all of that, Ruby has NOT felt like the actual main protagonist of RWBY for several seasons. Since V4 as some fans like to point out. 

And after closely observing her story over the last few volumes, I can’t help but agree with these critiques and comments of Ruby’s treatment when it comes to her own writing. Even when the CRWBY showrunners DO attempt to do stuff with her---it all falls...flat especially when you compare Ruby to other characters like Jaune Arc, for example, whose stories and overall development were handled much better. At least in my opinion.

Don’t believe me? Take for example, Ruby’s whole so-called “arc” as a Silver Eyed Warrior. First it was introduced as a new idea for Ruby during the FINALE of V3, then it got abandoned for two whole seasons between V4-V5. Then it got reintroduced back in V6 but was then rushed and dropped yet again for V7 only to be brought up again briefly during V8…kind of?

It’s really telling when you realize that Ruby gained control of her silver eyes despite never truly receiving any actual training from Maria in how to control her powers. Not only that but the showrunners really did Maria Calavera dirty. She was supposed to be the wise old mentor who was a badass in her prime meant to pass down her wisdom to her young eager apprentice who knew nothing of her own unique abilities including its mysterious origins.

Instead Maria didn’t know at all about where her powers originated from until she conveniently met our heroes after the Argus Ltd crash and just happened to be present when they asked Jinn about Oz’s secrets. Instead of being a mentor to Ruby which she was initially propped up to be, Maria ended up being relegated to the Granny Uber Driver of the hero team---no longer the wise experienced ex-huntress whose supposed to be teaching our title character but just a form of transportation who provides the occasional comic relief and support for Pietro Polendina, who she was put to work with…instead of Ruby…her alleged apprentice?

 Shoot---despite being a Silver Eyed Warrior, Ruby was never even a person of interest for this volume. Despite the main big bad being in Atlas and despite targeting her in the past, Salem…never goes after Ruby again while she’s in Atlas??? Ruby never even meets Salem? Despite…Salem targeting Ruby back in V4? Despite Salem’s history with capturing Silver Eyes? Despite Salem’s connection to Ruby through her mother???

Ruby is never actively a part of the Salem subplot on Monstra…even though… certain developments left over from previous seasons indicated that she should’ve been?

Instead…we got to watch Yang accost Salem for Summer Rose’s death after SHE is the one to be on the rescue party to save Oscar from Monstro. Even though…Yang has neither been a person of interest to Salem before NOR has the Xiao Long girl been shown to be a close affiliate of Oscar in the past prior to V8 NOR has the Xiao Long girl actually addressed Summer Rose as her mother since V2???

Up until V8, Ruby has always been the character of focus with all things Summer Rose and Salem and yet…we NEVER saw her meet Salem in the flesh period for this season…at all…???

Instead; Ruby spends MOST of this season cooped up at Schnee Manor, completely absent from and even oblivious to some of the more dire PLOT stuff that was happening outside of Schnee Manor (such as YJR going into Monstra to save Oscar before the Aces Ops blew up the whale).

Despite her connection to Oscar who became Salem’s prisoner. Despite her connection to Salem through her mother. Despite being a Silver Eye and a former target of Salem. Despite the Hound and what it turned out to be. Despite the showrunners literally teasing Ruby meeting Salem face to face back in V7---WE NEVER GET TO SEE RUBY MEET SALEM IN THE FLESH AT ALL DURING V8 WHILE SALEM IS IN ATLAS???

Salem targets Oscar which makes perfect sense given his connection to Ozma as his current incarnate. But Salem doesn’t target Ruby? DESPITE HER BEING A TARGET OF HERS IN THE PAST? DESPITE HER BEING A SILVER EYED WARRIOR? DESPITE WHAT THE HOUND REVEALED?

Why didn’t Salem send the Hound after Ruby? That would’ve made more sense, again knowing what the Hound actually was? Instead the Hound was sent after Penny which, in my opinion, felt mighty redundant since Salem already had Watts and Cinder Fall dealing with Penny.  

THEY EVEN TEASED THE HOUND TARGETING RUBY BUT IT WAS ALL A FLUKE.  RUBY IS COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE SALEM SUBPLOT EVEN THOUGH SHE IS THE TITLE CHARACTER AND THE ONLY ONE ON TEAM RWBY WITH A LEGIT CONNECTION TO SALEM AND HAS BEEN A TARGET OF HERS SINCE V4???

I DON’T GET IT!

…BUT… with my mini rant aside, those are just a few of the inconsistencies that I’ve noticed in the writing of RWBY in respect to Ruby Rose.

Overall; the point I’m trying to make here is this: for the sake of sounding like a Negative Nancy, I ask this honest question to the CRWBY Writers. How? How can you fumble this much with your own title character? I’m not saying this to come off disrespectful. I’m saying this as someone who has followed the story of RWBY since the get-go and has closely observed the treatment of its characters; particularly the main ones and particularly the ones that I personally love and Ruby is one of them.

Despite being our main girl, Ruby’s writing hasn’t been the squeakiest, admittedly. As a matter of fact, it’s been quite messy since V4 due to the amount of times the showrunners have introduced ideas for her only to abandon them later on thus creating those problems with consistency I mentioned earlier.

Overall, it’s difficult for me to even say that Ruby is the lead character of RWBY since often times; she doesn’t FEEL like the main protagonist despite the show claiming how important she is meant to be. And this sentiment is due in part to how messy her story is handled compared to other characters of lesser importance.

And it’s a sad thing for me to say as both a viewer and fan of Ruby’s character since Ruby is THE lead main character of RWBY. She’s like the Tony Stark of the RWBY-verse. She’s the one who started it all yet her story is one of the messiest I’ve seen in terms of direction and treatment. At least by my observations since this is just my opinion on the subject matter.

It’s one thing to blunder a bit on your side or even your supporting characters. But to slip up on your lead characters, especially your MAIN one who is the FACE of the show, c’mon CRWBY Writers.

And the events of V8 didn’t help change my opinion. After taking away all the bloat this season had for all the stuff they tried to shove into this one season, I realized that V8 didn’t really do much for Ruby. At least, not as much as I anticipated.

I was hoping that Ruby would’ve been a more focal character for V8 since V7 teased some stuff for her in respect to Salem. Instead, I watched a season where Ruby felt more like a supporting character for Penny Polendina since, in my opinion, Penny received much more focus and better development for V8 while Ruby, our LEAD took backstage to her story.

Because while Ruby was stuck playing supporting character, she was actively left out of subplots that she should’ve been a major part of. Not just because she’s the “protagonist” but because of elements to her story that were developed seasons prior but seemed to have gotten dropped for V8?

Ruby’s treatment for V8, to me,  is an example of a “build-up with no payoff”. All that stuff between her and Salem and her mother felt like it ultimately didn’t matter in the end because Ruby didn’t even meet Salem. 

Yang, to me, had the development with Salem that Ruby should’ve received.

Shoot---Ruby wasn’t even a thought on Salem’s mind…despite the events V4 and V7???

I just don’t understand. 

But like always, this is just how I feel about it. I’m disappointed with how Ruby was done for this season. While I liked the moment she shared with Blake in V8CH8 and Yang in V8CH11...that’s pretty much the ONLY thing I liked about Ruby’s story for this season. 

Outside of that, it felt to me like the showrunners didn’t do much with her for V8. In a season of so much happening, the stuff that happened with Ruby on her side of the story didn’t honestly stand out to me compared to what I saw the showrunners do for other characters who aren’t the lead this season.

It’s not like I’m trying to say she didn’t receive any development at all for V8. It’s more like most of what was done with Ruby didn’t quite stand out to me so it ends up feeling like not much was done for her. 

To me, Ruby falls into the same category as Nora Valkyrie for this season. Despite the PLOT preaching about them getting big developments, if you rock back and actually analyse the narrative, you’d actually see that not much was done for them despite the PLOT “talking the talk but not walking the walk” y’know what I mean?

And going back to Ruby, that’s disappointing since I wanted more for Ruby. I EXPECTED MORE for Ruby as our title lead but it didn’t happened. Instead it felt like some of the major developments that she should’ve received for this season went to other characters while she in turn took a backseat.

Things didn’t really start kicking up for Rubes until halfway through the season when the 100th episode aired and the Hound appeared. And even then the excitement of that reveal was short-lived since...Ruby was NOT the real target of the Hound. PENNY WAS. The Hound wasn’t sent to antagonize RUBY. It was sent for Penny which to me sort of undermines the reveal.

Some Ruby fans have been wishing for the show to feel more about just Ruby again for quite some time now and it is for this reason why I’m starting to dig this alternative theory of mine with Ruby surviving “The Fall of the Central Zone” alone with the rest of her team lost to the Other World.

While the concept of RWBY being trapped together in another world is still on the table of possibilities, I still wish to toss out this other one too.

I like the idea of a more Ruby-centric season where for the second time in the narrative, she’s separated from her core teammates only this time…it’s in “death” or rather “nonexistence” or “nothingness” since from Ruby’s perspective with her limited knowledge of magic (despite what she does know from Oz and Jinn) and the workings of the world that Ambrosius created, she doesn’t know what truly happened to her team.

The only thing she knows is that she watched her whole team dissipate into nothing before her very eyes and that is the last memory she has of them that haunts her for some time.

Imagine if…V9 will be about Ruby dealing with such a huge loss which could potentially touch more upon how she internalizes death in general tying back into probably flashbacks of her time with her mother before she learnt of her death at a young age.

While I understand we’ve had a storyline with Ruby being separated from her main team before back during V4-V5, however a plot line like this would be different this rounds since unlike before, Ruby at least knew that her team mates were alive. Far away. Separated by distance. But still alive and still a part of Remnant with the hope that she would be reunited with them again.

However this won’t be the case this second time. It would truly be Ruby alone since her team would be gone and no one could provide her with the solace of seeing them again---not even the friends she does still have (although that doesn’t stop some of them from trying to be there for the little red rose who has now lost more than her heart could handle)

I know the off-chance of this theory actually coming to fruition might be scarce. But like many ideas I’ve shared, it’s still worth tossing out since you guys know how this squiggle meister likes to roll.

~ LittleMissSquiggles (2021)

[professorspork]

Hot take, perhaps, but if/when Penny 3.0 happens I don't think she should have Floating Array, etherial or otherwise. It's just too bound up with her self-image as a Weapon instead of a Person. If Penny gets a sword, it needs to be a sword she can put down.

This is-- a fascinating take! I’m not sure I agree with it, but I think there’s some meaty ideas here worth unpacking. And I do think we agree on the fundamental premise (i.e. Penny’s autonomy needs to be foregrounded above all).

You assert that Penny’s current problem is that she sees herself as a Weapon and not a Person, and I don’t think that’s exactly the case. 

One of the things I admire most about Penny is is that when people try and tell her who (or, insultingly, what) she is, she quietly but assertively refutes them. Though early on her conviction in her own personhood was somewhat shaky, when her friends encouraged her she took it to heart. After Ruby “I Love You And Your Beautiful Soul” Rose told her that she was real and Winter “Everyone’s Feelings Are Valid Except For Mine” Schnee told her that her opinions mattered, she got-- really quite bullish about this. To illustrate:

Random citizen: It's Ironwood's robot! Robyn: [suspicious] Penny. Penny: I-- I didn't! [7.06, A Night Off]

Vine: I thought you were supposed to protect the people, not hurt them. Penny: I would never hurt anyone. Elm: Well Winter’s in critical condition, because of you. Harriet: And you repaid her by stealing the power that should have been hers. Penny: But taking the Maiden power was the only way to stop-- [8.03, Strings]

Cinder: You’re just a tool to be used! Penny: You do not know what you are talking about. ... Cinder: I don’t serve anyone. And you wouldn’t either, if you weren't built that way. Penny: That is not… I choose to fight for people who care about me. [8.05, Amity]

Which isn’t to say Penny isn’t prone to self-doubt, because she absolutely is, or that Penny doesn’t have a self-sacrifice streak a mile wide, because she absolutely does. But Penny wouldn’t have that reflexive, Janet-saying-“Not-a-girl”-style reaction to people telling her she’s nothing but a weapon unless she genuinely thought they were wrong. She’s not defensive, in these moments, even though she’s defending herself. She’s certain.

Maybe this is me splitting hairs with your argument, but I don’t think Penny’s issue is that she sees herself as a weapon. It’s that she sees herself as a hero. Not just a soldier, but THE soldier. The Protector of Mantle. She’s not Winter; she’s not most comfortable when she’s got orders she can hide behind so she can reassure herself she’s doing the right thing because someone else already did that math. She’s-- she’s Spider-Man. She feels a tremendous responsibility to save everyone she can, because that’s what you do. And yes that’s also, literally, what she was built for, so I can see where the argument is coming from, but I think it matters that the argument’s being made about someone from Remnant.

And on Remnant, your weapon is an extension of who you are.

We’ve never, as far as I can remember, seen anyone straight up switch their weapon. Ironwood made the nuke attachment for his pistols, but it’s still Due Process underneath. Maria only carries one of her two canes, now, but she didn’t make any design changes. Same with Yang and (lefty) Ember Celica. Jaune gave Crocea Mors substantial upgrades, but it’s fundamentally the same weapon; Blake chose to solder Gambol Shroud back together rather than replace it... and if anyone had an argument that using the same weapon might be too traumatic, it would be her. I mean, hell, the Messrs Oz have been using the same staff for millennia.

Weapons aren’t something you turn your back on. I don’t think it’s something that would occur to people. It would be like-- like turning off your Aura. That’s you. 

Unless, of course, you’re Cinder.

Cinder gave up on Midnight after the Beacon arc, and we’ve never seen it since. She relies exclusively on Maiden weapons instead-- some of which she molds into forms quite similar to her old swords or bow, but still. She tossed it aside. This follows the logic of the show: Cinder discarded the weapons, and with them the person she used to be, when she found it all to be lacking. Instead, she embraces what she sees as a higher form of power.

I don’t think Penny would think of Floating Array that way; as a sign of her failure. Nor do I think she’d see it as the prophesy/burden your take implies.

Granted, Watts used a sword from Floating Array in order to get access to her code and install the virus; it ended up being the vector for a huge breach of autonomy and violation of consent. But so was Tyrian using Harbinger to murder Clover, and Qrow’s still using it.

And granted, Penny didn’t choose Floating Array in the same way most people chose or designed their own weapons. She was born with it; activated combat-ready. But then, that’s not so different from Jaune inheriting Crocea Mors, is it? It might not be what either of them would have selected or been most suited for if they’d had the chance to say for themselves at the start, but... well, we’re far from the start, now. And Penny does choose Floating Array, when it matters. When she conjures weapons in her new, self-created body, she instinctively reaches for what she knows, what’s familiar. Her father’s providence. So for me, the moment you’re alluding to... it’s already happened. The whole point of leveraging Ambrosius’ limitations in the way they did is that Penny is separated from the parts of her that can be weaponized-- she watches her synthetic body eat itself, consumed by its own self-destructive urges. It doesn’t get much more metaphor-made-literal than that!

What remains, then, is Penny. And Penny uses Floating Array.

If Penny comes back and doesn’t resume the Winter Maidenhood (which I think is... low on the list of options, given Winter’s desperation and the likelihood that Maiden transference shenanigans are going to be a part of the vehicle that allows Penny to return in the first place), then she won’t have a choice. Either because that will mean she’s back in a 3.0 robot body (in which case it’s the same lack of choice she always had; Pietro wouldn’t give her an unfamiliar weapon after all that) or because she’s a Regular Normal Flesh Gal now and unless her Semblance is telekinesis (which it may be!!! we don’t know!!!) a weapon like Floating Array just isn’t on the table. But all of that, as I’ve already laid out, has to contend with so many unknown factors. How she comes back, and in what form, and at which time.

If Penny does end up designing a wholly new weapon, to me that would signal total transformation, given the rules and themes of the world. And that... well, it depends on the execution, I suppose, but I think I’d find that a little alarming. That she’d choose to have so little of her old self in her new form. But on the other hand, maybe I’m dead wrong there! That could also be read as yet another gorgeous act of creation by the Maiden best suited to it; it could be Penny choosing to yes-and herself into doubling down on her identity. She could be SO MUCH of a person that she, and she alone, gets to make a new weapon for her new self. I’m not against any of that! 

But even if that’s the case, I still think we’d see the hard light version of Floating Array again, especially if we have a Maidenbowl Redux. Even if I were to concede to your point that it’s too bound up in her self-image issues, that doesn’t imply to me that she’d have to move beyond it. If she’s to contend with herself, if she’s to decide she’s a person and not a weapon as you lay out, she’s going to put all of herself in the effort. As the speech goes, it’s a part of her. Even if it’s just a part, that’s still... a part. And this show has never been about severing yourself from your broken bits; it’s been about embracing them tenderly and letting them actually heal.

...also, Floating Array is *checks notes* cool.