#this is what i meant when i said my ideals have changed a lot since i was online years ago

[theragamuffininitiative]

Tfw you get recommended a particular pastor-teacher by a peer and you have gotten just wise enough at this point to go look the person up before just ingesting their teaching, and the top two things they have recently said are "Christian Nationalism is a good thing and a God-ordained pursuit" and "Israel should by no means pause or cease fire" and you're just like. Aha. Ok then. Glad I checked first. 😅

[mhahaikyuus]

Hair

wc:; 1.4k

tags: black reader x katsuki, newly established relationship (still trying to keep up the illusion for your partner), black reader doing her hair, emotional reader, Katsuki being the rational calm boyfriend, fluffy, cute ending.

a/n: i skimmed barely proofread sorry for any mistakes, hope you guys enjoy. reblogs appreciated.

“I can come over tonight?” Katsuki asked on speaker of your phone. 

You two spent everyday together since he had confessed to you by shoving flowers into your hands and running off before you had a chance to respond in slight shock. 

“Uh I’m busy tonight sorry.” You said watching yourself in the mirror studying your scalp distracted. 

“Okay what about tomorrow?” Katsuki grunted unhappy he would spend time away from you. 

“Tomorrow I'm busy too, i can’t hang out this weekend.” You said eyeing the thin black plastic bag filled with beauty supplies sitting on your vanity. 

He frowned, you always told him about upcoming plans you had. At lunch always rambling about whatever you wanted and him listening with small grunts and nods. You didn’t mention anything before about plans. 

“What are you doing?” He asked. Not wanting to pry so early into a relationship and scare you off. He had plans to make you his permanently but he was nosey. 

“My hair,” You answered honestly.

“What do you mean your hair? It takes that long?” He asked confused. 

“Yeah, it does. I have a lot of hair and it takes a lot of hours sometimes a couple of days.” You admitted with a sigh already dreading the process. 

Katsuki sat there on the other side of the phone with a small sigh of relief. You weren’t blowing him off with anyone else, just your hair. He had no idea about black hair but he knew he cared about you and that meant this was important. 

“Do you need help?” He offered making you silent in surprise widely blinking at the phone. 

The man that would tell his partner in the field to fuck off when he asked. Was readily offering you his help. 

You let out a small laugh, “I do but I don’t think you know what that entails. It’s a really long process and it’s tiring. Im okay though thanks for asking.” 

He just wanted to see you. After spending every day together for a month, he doesn’t know if he could go 3 days. 

“Alright the offer still stands if you change your mind. Don’t tire yourself out.” He sighed and you both said your goodbyes. 

You fiddled with the ends of your hair with a huff. 

“Let’s get this over with.” 

~

You wanted to ram your head into a wall. Staring at half your head being braided, 10 hours down and probably another 7 to go. 

Your back hurt, your arms hurt, your head hurt it was not ideal. Not eating all day and getting irritated at everything you were in a mood. 

Throwing the rat tail comb from your hands on the floor you flopped onto your bed in tears needing a break. 

Your phone began buzzing, face still in the mattress you reached around til you found it and pressed answer button. 

“Hello,” You answered muffled 

“Hey how’s it going?” Bakugo asked 

You sniffled pulling your head up tears running. 

“It’s fine.” 

Bakugo heard how upset you were causing his forehead to crease, “What’s wrong baby?” in a softer voice. 

“It’s nothing it’s just my hair and i’m tired and cranky and i haven’t eaten all day. I’ve only done maybe half of my head and i want to stop.” You said through tears. 

“Hey, hey please stop crying it’ll be okay.” Katsuki said trying to soothe you through the phone but it wasn’t working. Noticing a twinge in his chest at the sound of your soft sniffles.

You left out small huffs trying to control your breathing, “Yeah…sorry I should go you don’t want to hear me crying. Sorry to bother.” You realized you were probably scaring away the one guy you did like with your hysterics. 

“No I didn-“ 

“I have to go thanks for calling.” 

Katsuki stared at the phone feeling his stomach sink. 

~

You cried until your eyes were puffy and reluctantly went back to braiding your hair. You were so impatient and tender headed but you would not spend 200+ dollars on box braids. 

After about an hour you heard a knock on your door. You opened it to your boyfriend with a bag of takeout and one from the pharmacy. 

You yelped in surprise slamming the door just as fast as you opened it. 

Katsuki was very confused and kind of hurt at your reaction. 

“Y/n! What the fuck come on.” He yelled from the other side of the door. 

Your face held such embarrassment, hoping this was a figment of your imagination. 

Your boyfriend was NOT here when you looked like a hot mess. 

Your non-black boyfriend at that. 

This is a nightmare. 

“What are you doing here!” You yelled back through the door. 

“Baby you were crying and I haven’t seen you in almost 2 days!"

You groaned, “You can’t see me like this! you have to go home.” 

He grunted in annoyance, “You better open up. Im not leaving when you were crying.” 

You were silent waiting for him to go home and he wasn’t budging. With a sigh you opened the door peaking out at him. 

“Are ya gonna let me in?” He asked with raised blond eyebrows and pretty crimson eyes.

You opened the door and stepped aside. 

“What’s wrong why are you slamming doors and crying?” He asked looking down at you as he entered your apartment.  

You slowly closed the door behind you and leaned back against it. 

“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” You admitted thankful that you didn't blush noticeably.

“Baby like what.” He sighed dropping the bags on your coffee table and bringing you in close. 

Your head fell into his muscular chest, smelling his cologne.

“My hair.” You mumbled into his shirt.

He pulled back and used one hand to push back your hair to see your face. Your hair is in sections and a half-braided mess. 

“I like you and your hair. So will you calm down please?” 

“Really?” You asked with teary eyes looking up at him. 

“Yes, I do.” He reassured his hands gently holding you, his main goal to calm you down from this tired anxiety driven mood.

“Okay.” You mumbled head falling back into his chest. 

He rubbed your back, “What’s going on?” asking again. 

“I stayed up all night and im not even halfway done. I have a headache.” You mumbled in tears. 

Katsuki led you to the couch and made you take a seat. 

“Take a break. You look hangry and I brought food.” He said propping you in his lap and handing you takeout. 

You finished your food and leaned your head in his neck. Your headache stopping. He was right as usual, you were hangry. 

“I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face that was mean.” You said wrapping him in a side hug. 

His hand rubbed the side of your thigh with a light kiss on your nose. 

“It’s okay, ya didnt break my nose with the door slam.” Katsuki said making you laugh.

“Can I?” He asked gesturing to your head and you nodded. 

Katsuki’s thick fingers touching your blow dried hair. 

“It’s soft.” He said with mild surprise, “Like really soft.” 

You laughed, “Yeah I do have soft hair, but so do you.” Reaching up and lightly tugging on his spiky blonde hair. His hair was getting longer in the back. It may be because he loves your hands all over him and especially his head, giving you more hair to yank. Just a theory of course you would never say to him.

He grunted, “You feel better?” 

“Yes…” You nodded as he smiled knowing what he was gonna say

“Crying over the being hungry?” He teased showing his canines with his smile and you rolled your eyes. 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m just saying.” 

“Are you discriminating against a black woman?” You squinted but Bakugo had heard that before. 

“I just came over here with food to stop your crying and got a door slammed in my face.” He said with narrowed eyes matching your own.

“Uh fine.” You sighed, “Can you not be a good boyfriend so I can call you a bigot.” Your hand trailing up his stomach under his shirt, wanting skin to skin contact.

He pinched the inside of your thigh making you yelp in pain in response. His head deeply buried into your neck just enjoying your touch

“Ow…”You whined rubbing the bruised spot. 

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but how has your opinion changed on Steven Universe now than when it first aired? Like I have fond memories of watching the show while it was airing but now I realize that it had a lot of problems that I feel like a lot of fans either flat out ignore or bend over backwards to make sure their rose tinted glasses stay on.

... okay, fair question. Let's talk about this.

I'll try not to wax poetic too long, but there are a lot of things to be said here.

First and foremost - how has my opinion changed since the show has ended?

Simply put - it hasn't.

When I started watching Steven Universe over 7 years ago, I didn't have much knowledge of it. I sat down, saw a few of episodes and went 'well, this is a silly show for kids with a goofy but loveable protagonist... but it seems like it's also incredibly charming with its delivery and has some nice, more complex themes about loss and healing and grief throughout.'

And if you ask me what Steven Universe is now... I would probably say that exact same thing.

Am I wearing rose tinted lenses? Interesting question.

What ARE 'rose tinted lenses' in this context anyway?

What do these lenses represent? What do they obscure?

Since you didn't go into specifics, I can only assume what you're referring to when you say that many fans ignore the show's problems.

There have been many discussions surrounding various aspects of the show and how it might be read as 'problematic' (ahhh how I've come to despise that word.... without context, it has all the descriptive power of the word 'icky' - none of the critical details and all of the emotional punch of scrunching up your face like a cat that just sniffed a lemon...)

Is this about something as simple as the 'SU doesn't have a consistent size for its characters' debate?

Because that has been gone back to, over and over again, and proven to be a point of opinion. SU favored allowing storyboarders to show off their personal flourish, and even though Peridot was 30% hair in that one episode, it did not overall take away from the plotline being told, which was their goal. If you wanted to watch a show with consistent styling throughout, you can always watch a 3D modeled show, but keeping that up was simply never one of SU's main pillars. And I feel like it didn't have to be.

Is this about something more complex such as the way Rose was presented?

...and how her arc was shown backwards instead of forwards - showing first the person she became in the end, and afterwards revealing all the growth she had to have to get there?

That was on purpose! And I don't think this is a problem. It's a feature, not a bug. Rose was never meant to be an ideal character - she was meant to be complicated and messy, and I think the fact that the fandom is so split in their opinions of her shows that the Crewniverse pulled that off really well!

She fucked over Bismuth! She forced Pearl to be silent! Those are both parts of her character arc that were never resolved because she died before she could resolve it - that's BY DESIGN. Sometimes, you just do something absolutely stupid and cruel, and you cannot go back to fix it.

Is this about the Diamonds? The fact that they were not put in space jail, after being put on trial for space crimes, and then publicly executed for space eco-genocide?

Here's the thing - most people I know who watched and loved SU are fully aware of that. But simply put - Steven Universe was not a story about Revenge.

Steven Universe was a story about love. A story about family. A story about truth, and lies, and hurt, and healing. About how sometimes healing doesn't happen. And how sometimes it will, but you won't be around to see it.

But it's not a story that can be all things for all people.

That is the thesis of my reply: It is a story.

It is not a manifesto. It is not a bible. It is not a Complete Truth.

It is a single story. Made by a group of very talented people, who cared about these characters, who did their best. They made a funny, emotional, well-drawn and complex cartoon show about the things THEY personally wanted to tell stories about.

Does it answer all questions the way everyone wants them answered? No. That's impossible.

Everyone wants a different story. Everyone wants a different solution, a different resolution. A different ending.

Steven Universe is one story. It cannot satisfy all people.

So when you ask me 'has your opinion of Steven Universe changed'? The answer is 'no'.

I went in, expecting to see a story. I saw a lot of what I liked! I saw some parts which I thought were interesting. I saw some parts which, yes, I disagreed with a little.

But overall, it's a good story. And that's what I expected, and that's what I got, which means I'm pretty satisfied. I love that story.

I feel like recently, there's this expectation of media, to be Everything For All People. And it's a bit unrealistic. No one call tell the perfect story. We are all simply telling the stories we want to tell. And people will vibe with that, more or less.

A single story, made by a small group of people, will never be that for you. There will never be an Unproblematic Cartoon that you watch that will be devoid of things you disagree with.

Being critical of media doesn't mean 'Criticize the FUCK outta that media, and the one with the least criticisms is the best one'.

Critical thinking is about evaluating things critically - that means being critical of YOURSELF. Being critical of your OWN reactions. Asking 'why did I like this?' and 'why did I dislike this?'. Asking 'this doesn't mesh with me, but who WOULD it mesh with? It isn't for me, but who is it for? Who would it hurt, but also who would it help?'

Some people HATED how SU: Future ended. They beat their fists on the wall and cried about how Steven was leaving his family behind, and how THEY could never imagine doing something like that, and how he was running away from his problems just like Rose had.

Me? I loved it. I think it was the right choice, and I COULD imagine it and thought it was in character. I thought he needed to be his own person, instead of shouldering everyone else's responsibilities for once. Was one of us more right than the other? Maybe not? Maybe that was the whole point?

Loving things is not about putting on rose colored glasses. Sometimes, choosing to love something with flaws is an act of rebellion. It's about knowing you have differences, but understanding that there is value in the things you DO agree on, and knowing you can consume that.

Healthy consumption of media does not mean throwing the whole cartoon away as soon as you notice something is wrong with it, like a bruise on an apple.

Healthy consumption of media involves critical thinking AND feeding yourself. Acknowledging you may disagree with parts of it, but not starving yourself just because your apples all have small imperfections.

Eat, for fuck's sake. Feed yourself. You'll feel better.

Thassit.

[transmascissues]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

[amomentsescape]

Thank you for replying to my question! In that case could I request a Bruce Wayne imagine. One where the reader graduated college, bought a car & is now working a lot at her job. She’s been a bit stressed bec she hasn’t taken a break. Bruce surprises her at her job once her shift ends to take her on a date. & her coworkers & friends start teasing her. Basically Bruce wants her to destress and have fun. Then he expresses how proud he is of her. Just him being a supportive and loving boyfriend.

Also if you could throw in the reader’s friends asking if Bruce bought the car & if she’s gonna quit working bec he’s rich. But she says no to both bec she wants to make her own money & work hard. (Bruce ends up hearing this & it just confirms to him how she loves him for himself and not the money)

Sorry if it’s long lol!

More Than Riches

Gotham! Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary: Even with Bruce as their partner, Reader still aims to do what they want with their life and love Bruce earnestly at the same time.

Warnings: Overall fluff with maybe one or two bad words

Word Count: 849

A/N: Thank you so much! Based on your request, I wrote it as more of a drabble since my version of an imagine usually only comes with about a paragraph of writing like this. But if you'd like a condensed version that's made into an imagine, let me know!

The past few months have become all blurred together in your mind. To be honest, you were certain that you've spent more time at work than you have at your own home.

Adulthood wasn't quite what you had expected it to be. Graduating college and jumping straight into the workforce seemed like everyone's ideal, but this meant that you hadn't gotten an opportunity to take a breather.

But you supposed this is what you signed up for. A car loan wasn't going to pay itself. But even then, there was something fulfilling about what you did. Being able to be independent on your own terms gave you a sense of security you never knew you desired.

With that being said, you still wished you had a little more time for yourself and your boyfriend.

The thought of him almost made you a little emotional. You two haven't had much quality time together recently and yet, Bruce had been nothing but supportive towards your ambitions.

He told you time and time again that if you ever needed help with anything, all you had to do was ask. It truly felt nice to have someone on your team for a change.

You looked up at the time and realized that your shift was finally over.

You sighed and wandered back to clock out and grab your things when you heard hushed whispers and giggles.

Your coworkers were all huddled together, talking to each other like they were sharing a secret.

"I can't believe- oh! (Y/N), get over here! The Bruce Wayne just walked in. I can't believe it!"

Your eyebrows furrowed together. "I thought I was supposed to see him tomorrow..." you said under your breath.

When you looked up, all eyes were on you.

"You know him?" one of your coworkers asked eagerly.

You gulped. "Well, yeah. He's my boyfriend..."

You suddenly felt hot.

Your coworkers were absolutely stunned at this.

"You're kidding. You're in a relationship with the city's rich boy?!"

You just nodded, not sure how to respond.

"Oh my God. Then why the hell are you working here? He could literally pay all of your bills and then some! I bet your car is already paid off because of him, huh?" they giggled.

You almost wanted to roll your eyes at this. You were your own person. You didn't need saving, and you didn't need the man you love paying for everything that you could have earned yourself. It just didn't feel right to you, but to each their own you supposed.

"I'm actually paying off the car myself. And why would I not want to work? I enjoy putting in this effort to support myself and see the impact I'm making. He can do what he wants with his money, and I'll do what I want with mine. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to clock out."

With that, you grabbed your bag and jacket and walked over to the entrance, finally seeing that familiar face you love so much.

The moment he caught sight of you, his eyes lit up, a soft smile spreading across his lips.

"There you are. I was starting to wonder if I came at a bad time."

He leaned down and gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek, taking your hand in his as you both exited the building.

"I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting you today," you answered honestly.

His smile widened. "I wanted to surprise you. I know things have been busy and stressful for you recently, and I was hoping a date night would alleviate some of that."

You stopped walking and looked at him, your stomach doing a couple flips.

You just kept staring at him, taking in just how perfect he was for you. He knew how to make any bad moment better in an instant. It's like he always understood what you needed even when you didn't know it yourself.

"What is it?" he chuckled nervously, a little bit shy from your gaze.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you responded softly.

This made his cheeks go all rosy, causing your heart to speed up. He was perfect.

"I could say the same for you," he reasoned.

His hold on your hand tightened as he pulled you into him, holding your body close to his.

"I overheard what you said back there, about me."

Now it was your turn to blush.

"Yeah?" was all you could produce.

"Yeah." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "I'm so lucky to have found someone like you. You're one of the only people I know that makes me feel seen as me, not just by my last name."

Your eyes met his at this. "Bruce, I'd love you even if you were just an average person like me."

He leaned his face a little bit closer to yours.

"You're not average, (Y/N). Not to me."

He then pressed in a little further and joined his lips with yours, kissing you like it was the first time all over again.

[14dayswithyou]

So I just played through the game for the first time and was hit with a terrible thought. In my game, I said that teo and I had had a “fling.” I then realized that Ren, like Teo, has tattoos. So that got me thinking.

What if Ren started getting tattoos because he saw what MC was doing with Teo? He was trying so hard to become everything MC wanted, only to find out that MC was just using Teo as “safe dick,” and didn’t actually care about the tattoos at all.

He may have found that he really likes tattoos, and so he designed them his own way. But there’s NO WAY that MC hooking up with a Big Tattoo Guy (multiple times, according to Teo) wouldn’t have effected his aesthetic at that time. So I wanted to ask, did he have those tattoos before MC met Teo? Or were they reactive?

✦゜ANSWERED: Canonically, Ren gave himself tattoos at a young age out of his own accord!! I spoke about it a year ago here, and very recently here.

Non-canonically (but something Ren would definitely do), is that he would take aspects from Teo's appearance if Angel was genuinely interested in him. Ren's entire shtick is mimicking Angel's hyper-fixations and turning himself into their ideal type — and if that happens to be Teo — then so be it. He'll take inspiration from the way he dresses, how he acts, and the tattoos he gets.

From a storyteller standpoint, however; Teo is supposed to be Ren's narrative foil! I spoke about this topic briefly in the Discord server, but they share a lot of similar characteristics (contrasting colour palette, conflicting personalities, two-tone hair, snake vs koi fish tattoos, 2 gold rings vs 2 gold earrings, etc.). So the tattoos were a deliberate choice!! However, they're not meant to signify that they're the same character or anything. It's just a way for me to kinda show (not tell) that despite two characters being "the same", they can be completely different as well.

But from and even more literal standpoint, Teo is also the direct derivative of 2017!Ren! In the very first version of 14DWY, Teo didn't even exist at all. But when remaking the game, I figured people wouldn't like Ren [with Teo's personality], so I changed him completely. I didn't want to completely scrap the "toxic playboy" character though, so I turned him into Teo and never looked back since

(I looked back once and now half the fandom are in love with him T_T /silly)

[jesamnelovelace]

Many people’s negative feelings towards Terry Long lead them to wanting him to be removed completely from Donna’s history. I understand why. He was a good decade older than her, and she was freshly an adult when they began dating. He didn’t respect her career as a hero, often complaining about it despite having known beforehand what he was getting into. He took her child from her in their divorce. Etc. 

Terry was not a good partner for Donna, but I don’t believe canon should just erase him. For better or for worse, Terry played a major role in Donna’s life, and removing him would change who she has become as a character/person.

The problem with Terry’s portrayal, especially prior to his and Donna’s divorce, was that the source material presented their relationship as healthy and tried to convince the readers of that. Clearly their relationship was not actually healthy.

When the age gap is brought up in the comics, it’s never for negative reasons. Sometimes it’s just a jab at Terry for being old, but often these references are used to show how mature Donna is. Wolfman has even said that he created Terry as Donna’s love interest because she needed somebody more mature like her. For him that meant she needed to date a man ten years her senior.

Only after their separation and divorce does their relationship start to be shown a bit negatively. However, even when it is, it’s not doing anything to show that the relationship was unhealthy when they were together. The negative things brought up and referenced about Terry are just that he was the one who initiated the divorce and left Donna and that he took Robbie away from Donna.

The ideal way, in my opinion, for what writers should do with their relationship is not to look back on it in a positive way, nor do I think they should completely ignore it ever happened. It should be acknowledged as something unhealthy that Donna didn’t seen at the time since she was young and naive. Something that took time/needs to take time for her to fully grasp.

However, this doesn’t mean I want for Donna to suddenly just completely hate him. I know many people enjoy revenge fantasies, and I know there are people that use Terry for those, and if that’s how you cope with things, that’s fine. I just personally don't see that as in character for Donna, nor do I really find it compelling.

Donna’s feelings towards Terry should be complicated. It should be something she struggles with at first that she later comes to terms with. There were some comics during and after the divorce that started to do this, but, again, her negative feelings were about the divorce itself and Terry taking Robbie away and not the relationship prior to these events.

During and after the divorce, despite everything Terry has been putting Donna through since he left her, she continues to believe she still loves him and thinks he must feel the same way about her. It ties a bit in with her issues with perfectionism. What they had was the perfect family she wanted, and she can’t fathom that she’s losing it. 

She believes that despite everything he is still a good person. She has occasional moments of anger towards him, but she still feels positively about him a lot of the time. It’s heartbreaking seeing these moments.

New Titans #117

New Titans #128

Even after his death her feelings remain complicated. She grieves for him along with Robbie. After everything he put her through. It would be so easy for her to be angry at him for Robbie’s death regardless of how much at fault he is. But she doesn’t. Instead she continues to feel love for him.  He took her son from her in more ways than one, and she still loves him.

Girlfrenzy! Wonder Woman: Donna Troy

This display of complicated feelings, where she continues to love somebody she has every right to be mad at, isn’t just something she does with Terry. She’s done this with the Titans of Myth as well. They messed with her memories and manipulated her, but she still feels love for them. 

Return of Donna Troy #4

To me it’s just a lot more compelling for her to struggle with the fact that she still loves these people who she has every right to hate. Even as she comes to terms with how poorly they treated her. She loves Terry. He was an important part of her life. But he hurt her. From the start their relationship was unhealthy. 

A story arc for Donna where it finally hits her how bad things were the whole time could be so much fun if handled correctly. And this is why I would prefer this over him being removed or just having Donna suddenly switch to just full on hating him. For her character it makes a lot more sense for things to be a bit more complex than that.

[lanas-delight]

the one that got away.

♫ rec: when i was your man by bruno mars

✰ an enhypen scenario || word count: around 2k, w/ fem-presenting!reader, heeseung, & sunghoon

✰ description — years after an anniversary dinner gone wrong, heeseung finds himself singing at your wedding as a favor to you and your new husband, even if that meant he’d have to bury his feelings and his regrets from the past.

✰ warnings — angst. literally just a lot of angst.

✰ note — inspired by the off my face cover by heeseung (and A LOT of kdramas....). 🤍 enjoy !

(why didnt i change the warnings good god IGNORE THE OG WARNINGS ITS FIXED NOW I FORGOT TO CHANGE IT WHEN I COPIED THIS FORMAT FROM MY OTHER DRAFT OMLLL)

The sun had fallen in the early evening. The sky was dark, though plastered with stars. It was a day in mid-July, a clear day after a week's worth of rainy days, and the air felt so clear, the breeze so warm but soft. It was a day that would begin your new life, and relive in your memories every day for the rest of your life. You knew that too well.

In a white tent surrounded by a meadow of sunflowers, lights all around, lighting up the grounds as the wedding march echoed from the grand piano, everyone was standing, watching as you, the bride, walked down the aisle, hooked arms with another’s arm, as you approached your fiancé, soon-to-be husband, Sunghoon. His furrowed brows raised at the sight, you in a beautiful white dress, lace at every edge of the dress, your hands delicately shown off bare, your ring finger empty only for a few more moments. Sunghoon gazed at you, admired every piece of you, curving his lips into a smile. A whisper, “You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” comes from his mouth for only you to hear. Your cheeks heated up, just like they did on your first date, when he said a cheesy pick up line to make you laugh, which it did, but you felt your cheeks heat up, like you were blushing, too. He noticed it quick.

The priest started to speak, everyone took their seats once again. It went quiet, only the soft echo of crickets in the far distance behind the strong voice of the priest’s. He goes on to welcome the guests and start the speech to where Y/N and Sunghoon would repeat his words and then kiss to confirm their marriage to one another. They had said their vows privately that morning, backs facing each other on a wide bench by the water. It was beautiful, and it respected the tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding. It was your idea, and Sunghoon tried his best to not sneak a glance but he knew you looked so beautiful.

You had this day planned out since you were six, the first time you took one of the pillow sheets and put it on your head like a veil, prancing around the house like a happy bride. You picked out your ideal dress through boredom on a late night in middle school, chose what your bouquet would like in after a trip to a community garden. You had met the most perfect man, had the perfect life, your perfect wedding, but there was something missing.

In the crowd, in the middle of the third row on the left side, sat Heeseung, his hands knotted together in his lap as he watched you kiss him. His face was pale, his eyes wide but inside, he felt his heart shatter and all the little pieces fell to his stomach. There was a part of him that knew he had no reason to feel this way, but he couldn’t help it.

He wasn’t supposed to be there. He only went because you asked, as a favor. He was a singer, a very good one, and the original singer you had hired came down with the flu last minute so you called him in a panic as a last resort. He said yes, which surprised you, but you were thankful. You gave him a list of songs that the original singer had made for their performance, and Heeseung told you he’d be there and that was the end of it. Now, at the wedding, you had forgotten he was to attend at all. You felt his stare, amongst the other eyes glued to you from all around the room, but his was distant, yet it tore you apart little by little.

After the kiss, everyone rose from their seats and clapped, cheering for you and Sunghoon, except Heeseung. He didn’t stand with the others, but once he did, he turned and scooted through the other people in the row so he could get ready for his performance at the reception.

If he was asked about how he felt, not that he ever would be, but if he was, he would say that it took everything in him to stay for the reception and to sing in front of everyone—old friends, some faces he didn’t recognize, and the family he was supposed to be apart of. It was his fault, everyone in that room knew it, claiming more than Heeseung did, but that wasn’t true. He relives his nightmare everyday, seeing you with another man, happier without him.

You and Sunghoon had gone off to change into more comfortable, though still formal outfits, with Sunghoon wearing a lighter colored suit, a loose tie and one open button at the top. Meanwhile, you looked like a diamond, white dress that fell to just above your knees, maybe of silk and satin, oh it looked wonderful on you. It was the dress Heeseung had picked out for you years ago, but you had forgotten that. It was now the dress that you and Sunghoon would have your first dance in. Nothing Heeseung ever did for you mattered anymore, maybe it never once did.

Everyone had taken their seats at their tables, drinking champagne and waiting for the speeches to start. Heeseung sat at the stage, his face low to keep hopefully no attention on him whatsoever. You and Sunghoon sat at this long table, with the maid of honor, best man, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen all on either side of them. The best man started first with his speech, his name was something with a “J,” an English name, but his accent was no American. He was apparently dating the maid of honor—who started her speech directly after the best man’s—which made Heeseung smile a bit because he had met the maid of honor plenty of times before, when he was with you. She used to be voluntarily lonely, never wanting to date because she could never find the one. But it seemed she did. They have a son, last he heard. He was happy for her, even though he knew that she hated him for everything that happened with you.

Sunghoon’s speech was next, and it was absolutely beautiful. Poetic, if you will. He spoke nothing but beauty and love of you, every word a new meaning for you, describing every perfect you behold. It made Heeseung want to fall apart right at the spot. He promised himself he wouldn’t let himself fall down this hole again, that he’d move on and fall out of love with you, but that could never happen. He was stuck on you. There wasn’t a single reason to him that made him not love you, or even consider the possibility of not loving you. You were his moon, his star, his every part of him, but you didn’t love him. You haven’t loved him for a long time. You weren't his, and he wasn't yours.

Then, it was time. Sunghoon and you walked to the middle of the dance floor, holding each other’s hands and preparing to dance as Heeseung stood up and approached the microphone stand. He glanced back at the pianist behind him who nodded at him before starting to play the song, Off My Face by Justin Bieber. Their song. But it wasn’t theirs anymore. He was sure that it never was.

Heeseung clears his throat quietly as he turns back to the microphone, one hand wrapped around it while the other fell to the stand, holding it gently, space between his palm and the pole. He starts to sing, every note and every line perfectly harmonized as the couple danced together.

Everyone watched the couple quietly, with eyes of admiration and small smiles, but only one ever looked at you and it was you. Sunghoon’s back faced Heeseung for a few moments as you and him swayed together, and that was when, just between the chorus and the verse, you had met eyes with the boy you once loved, the one singing at your wedding to another man.

Once the song was over, Heeseung stepped back to take a drink out of his water just as everyone else joined in on the dancer floor for another song, one more upbeat than the slow, love song he had just sung for the couple’s first dance. He sang another song, then another, and a couple more before his set was done and he grabbed his stuff and headed out of the reception tent. He headed to the parking lot just a hundred feet away but just before he made it there, his name was called and his heart stopped for a second. It was you.

“Heeseung, wait,” you caught up to him, holding your heels in your hands so you wouldn’t break them or twist your ankles trying to catch him before he left. “You’re leaving?”

Heeseung quickly looked over to the tents then back to you. “Yeah, I, uh, finished my set.”

You reached your hand out to him, “No, you should stay. Enjoy it,” you gave him a smile, “Might be the only wedding you’ll attend,” it was a harmless joke, but Heeseung took it differently.

“Are you saying I won’t get married?” His voice sounded hurt, but stern at the same time. He was trying to stand his ground, while dying on the inside.

“What? No, I— I was joking,” You lowered your hand, “What’s wrong?”

But Heeseung raised his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” He scoffed, “You asked me to sing at your wedding, of all things, of all people, you asked me to come here and relive everything that happened.”

You were confused, “Relive? You mean I would have to relive it? You broke my heart, Heeseung. You were never going to marry me. We had no future—”

“Did I say that?”

“Say what?”

“Did I say I would never marry you?” Heeseung repeated, “Did I ever say we had no future?”

You stepped back, “Well no but you never did anything that proved otherwise.”

But Heeseung shook his head and rubbed his face, trying to stay calm as you continued on.

“You never told me you would marry me, you never even asked about our future or even talked about it. You and I were together for three years and there was nothing you did that gave me any hope at all for us.”

Heeseung clicked his tongue, pushing his hair back, “God, Y/N, are you really that oblivious?”

You furrowed your brows, “What?”

“I was going to propose to you that night.”

Seven years ago, you and Heeseung met at your work—a cafe at the time—because that morning, he was craving a frappe and he knew that the cafe you just so happen to work at made the best coffee. You were his barista, and he fell in love with you the moment he saw you. He left his number on a napkin and you waited a day to call because you didn’t want to seem desperate, but also that you didn’t want to see him again either. On the first date, so memorable, you read out your favorite quotes from your favorite books, which he asked for because he knew you liked to read. Over a handful of dates and a million talks, you and him fell for each other—hard. He was all who you wanted, for three years, he was the boy you wanted to marry. He was your endgame, or you wanted him to be it.

For your three year anniversary dinner, he had made a reservation at your favorite restaurant, bought your favorite flowers, and dressed in your favorite suit of his. You wore his favorite dress, a white, short dress that fell just above your knees. You two headed to the restaurant around six, seated around six-thirty. It was good at first, he opened the car door for you, held the restaurant’s door open for you, pulled the seat back and pushed it in for you. He did what he always did. But for months, you wished for more. You had been wanting to hint for him to do something more, to take the next step in the relationship, but it was never the right time to talk about it. But instead, you dropped hints. For a year now, every day, you’ve dropped some kind of hint, and only realized that morning that it had been a year, and there was nothing. No conversations about the future, not even a poke at it. Nothing. You had enough.

During appetizers, you broke the silence, which was only there because he was eating and you were sipping on your wine, with a simple, but cold statement—“I don’t think this is going anywhere.”

Heeseung, confused and taken aback, almost spit out his food. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about us, Hee. You’ve done the same thing over and over again, for the last three years, and you’ve never even given the thought of asking me to marry you.”

“Y/N—”

“And I’ve dropped hints, every single day since our two year anniversary—a year of this cycle, I can’t,” You shook your head, “I had your mother talk with you about proposing, I had your brother talk to you endlessly about his own wife. God, I even had a fake email about wedding rings sent to you by my friends so you’d finally ask me!” You abruptly stood up from your seat, everyone in the room was staring at you and him. You sighed. “I can’t wait around anymore for you.”

Heeseung stared at you, tears slowly forming in his eyes, those bambi eyes of his, “Y/N . . .”

You shook your head, “It’s over, Heeseung.” And you grabbed your coat and left the restaurant. He sat there, completely still. Everyone stared for another few moments out of pity before turning back to their own dinners. Heeseung slowly took out the box from his pocket and set it on the table, opening it and looking at the ring he had bought months ago, waiting for this exact day to propose to you and to make you his bride. But he was too late. He was just a day too late.

“I took you to your favorite restaurant, asked you to wear my favorite dress—which you’re wearing for him tonight, ironic enough!—and I wore your favorite suit. I took you there and I ordered your favorite foods, your wine, everything. I had it all planned out. I was going to tell you how much I loved you after we ate the appetizers,” Heeseung declared to you then, a choking sob in his throat, “I was going to propose to you minutes after you decided we were over. I noticed every hint and I planned it all, from the beginning. But I was too late. Right?”

You had started to cry, “Heeseung . . .”

He shook his head, “I have never stopped loving you, since the day I met you. Not even when you ruined me, when I cried for months on end, for the humiliation, the heartache, I have never stopped loving you. Until tonight,” he turned, "Goodnight, Y/N."

“No, Heeseung, please,” you went towards him, grabbing his arm, “Please,” implying you wanted a second chance, just a few yards from your newly wedded husband. Heeseung knew he didn't love you anymore. Tonight was his closure. The regret, the miserableness, the mourning of what could've been—it was finally over.

“You remember that quote you told me? On our first date?” Heeseung stared at you, coldly, “Maybe if you were the moon, I could’ve loved you the same,” he then scoffed, “It had always been about us, huh?”

You shook your head, “Hee, please—”

“No, Y/N.” Heeseung took his arm out of your grasp, stepping back from you, “Congrats on your marriage,” and he walked away from you, leaving you to fall to your knees on the grass, crying to yourself as he got into his car and left. You got up a few moments later and returned to the wedding.

You never told Sunghoon what happened, claimed you fell on the way back to the tents after you had gone out to thank Heeseung for coming since he was leaving so abruptly, and Sunghoon, being the kind person he was, didn't question any of it. He helped you get cleaned up and danced with you until it was time to head off to your honeymoon. But Heeseung never left your mind.

Months went by, then years, and Sunghoon never knew what you had done that night, begging Heeseung for another chance, that you would've thrown everything you had for the boy you broke. He never knew.

On the night of Christmas Eve, the one following your eleventh wedding anniversary, the kids were asleep in their rooms while you and Sunghoon put out the presents from "Santa." One girl, and two boys. You didn't think you'd want kids, let alone three of them, but you loved and cherished your kids entirely. Your oldest was ten, middle was seven, and the youngest was three. You had gotten them toys, clothes, etc., but that didn't matter. It was when you seemed off, like you did every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, every holiday. Sunghoon finally asked about it, and that's when you told him.

You told him about Heeseung, what he said to you, how you feel about him, and the absolute and miserable regret you had for letting him go. Sunghoon didn't say anything for a while. He just stared at you blankly, not sure how to respond or react, so he didn't. He just sat down on the couch and covered his face with his hands. You tried to sit with him but he scooted away before turning to you, telling you that he should've known. You reassured you loved him now, but that wasn't enough. You both knew it wasn't enough.

Divorce followed shortly after, joint custody where the kids will spend every other week with either parent. Sunghoon was cordial about it all, which was good for you, you guessed, but you didn't want a divorce. You loved Sunghoon, but not the way you should've all these years. He deserved better, and you wish you could've gave him what he deserved, but at the end of the day, you didn't love him. You loved Heeseung.

You searched Heeseung up the moment it came to mind, thinking you could go back to him as your last resort—just like before—but to your unfortunate surprise, Heeseung was married. On the night of your wedding, Heeseung drove to the bar to straighten out his thoughts over a few drinks. There, he met his future wife who sat beside him and actually bought him a drink because he was looking at her a lot but not actually making a move. They married the next year, and have a son around your oldest's age. He looks at her the way he used to look at you. He didn't love you, and hadn't for a long time. You lost him, and that was never going to change. There was nothing you could do to get him back, to make things right, to fix your marriage, your family, to get closure. Alone, you were, but you sought out to get better.

You started therapy, and eventually, convinced Sunghoon to go to couple's counseling with you. A year or so passed, you and Sunghoon decided to give it another try. You wanted that happy ending, and you worked for it. You loved Sunghoon, more than ever, never to lose that love, because he was your husband, the love of your life, the father of your children. Sunghoon was who you wanted to love for eternity, not Heeseung. You didn't love him anymore. You finally moved on, just as he had.

Because he wasn't yours, and you weren't his.

end.

-------------------------------------------------------------

a/n—i'm gonna be completely honest.. i was watching a lot of kdramas when i thought of this shit, but i hope you guys enjoyed it anyways! thank you for reading <33

[transmasczeroone]

On coming out as trans:

I live in a very middle-class, Christian, conservative area, so I was bracing myself for the worst when I decided to come out publically to my co-workers and customers. (I work in a restaurant/bar that attracts a particular demographic: Imagine middle-aged ladies coming to brunch, older men coming for a pint after work, families bringing their children and dogs, most of them white, wealthy, and cishet. For context, I'm also 5 ft 4, and pre-everything, with a gender neutral name that leans towards the girly side, at least in my country.)

The first co-worker I came out to was a low-level supervisor, a gay cis guy in his 20s. He was a bit confused at first, had to ask a lot of questions to understand exactly what was changing, but ever since then he has been unconditionally supportive. He volunteered to tell the other managers that I'm trans, so I didn't need to go through the stress of that conversation multiple times.

The rest of the managers/supervisors (all cishet) at some point or another said that I can go to them if customers or other staff bother me (which hasn't happened at all), and all get my pronouns right most of the time, and are quick to correct themselves when they don't. They even go out of their way to use affirming language - one of my co-workers realised one day that that were no women on shift at the time, turned to me and said something about it being a boys' club and included me in that category. They celebrate my small wins, and the big ones, everything from "nice haircut!" to "ohmygod you're going on testosterone soon?? I'm so happy for you!!"

One of the managers - a cishet woman in her 50s, and the one I expected to have the worst reaction - asked a lot of questions to better understand me and offered to introduce me to her friend, who is also a trans man. This is a big deal to me, because I don't know any other trans men in my area. According to my co-workers, she's better at getting my pronouns right than almost anyone else.

Another cishet guy I work with is in his 60s had to ask what my he/him badge meant when he first saw it, and now he always makes a point of getting my pronouns right, especially in front of other people who she/her me based on my appearance or who need a reminder.

The male customers I serve on the bar tend to ask what the badge means (although some prefer to stare at it in confusion and not comment at all). My usual response is, "It's to remind people that I'm not a girl, since a lot of people think I am," which omits a huge chunk of the truth, but isn't a lie. I've never had a bad response, though.

When I explain, they often say, "Wow, I never would have guessed you were a man" (ouch, dysphoria) and apologise genuinely and quite profusely for calling me "she" or "sweetheart" or whatever earlier in the interaction. They're eager to assure me that they meant no disrespect. Some even notice the badge and apologise without having to ask what it means. Nobody contradicts me, nobody is sarcastic or thinks I'm joking, and nobody has ever said anything transphobic to me or asked invasive questions. Some get confused and sort of gloss over my explanation, but nobody has been hateful. Sometimes they seem to accept me as a cis guy, other times they're clearly aware that I'm trans, but it doesn't affect their response either way.

The worst thing I've encountered is customers who see the he/him badge, blatantly ignore it, and then misgender me throughout the interaction. Not ideal, of course, but far better than what I was expecting.

This entire experience has reminded me of a time I read in a comment somewhere that transphobes are a very vocal minority, that transphobia feels like it's ramping up recently because transphobes know they're losing the war and are screaming in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously. They're scared that all their fearmongering and hatred is, in fact, getting them nowhere. Maybe there's some truth to that.

As I said before, I live in a conservative, middle-class area, and there are no queer bars, bookshops, etc. for miles and miles, but there are at least 3 churches within a 15 minute walk of my house. And in the 5 months I've been out publically, the worst transphobia I've faced from a co-worker or stranger is just them not using my pronouns until corrected.

I'm not saying don't be careful when you come out. I'm not saying that things always go well. Sometimes they go awfully, and I've had my own bad experiences.

What I am saying is that my faith in cis people has been restored to quite an astonishing degree, that sometimes people can surprise you in wonderful ways, that there are people out there willing to accept and respect us, and sometimes you find them where you least expect them.

[sora-of-uranus]

The removal of the sexism pisses me off not because it just affects Sokkas character but because it has ruined almost every woman in the show.

Suki takes off her make up often, as if it isn't a large part of her cultural identity and personality, as if her being a kyoshi warior and her destinctly femenine clothes are something to be ashamed off or that hinders her. Because its only her that gets this treat amongst the warriors, and shes the only main kyoshi warrior for the audience.

Yue's entire character is removed. It is replaced with what I think is meant to be a sympathetic princess to the people, she joins the nans in the kitchens and make deserts for the children. Like a disney princess whose quirky and silly and held back only by her title of a princess. Gone is the battle between her desire to help and her duty to be a water tribe ideal woman. Gone is her realising that the best way to help her people is to not be an ideal woman, but to take action and to do what no one else can, to become one with the moon so that she can forever help not just her tribe but the entire world. It is depressing, it is deep, it isn't fair to her but when has the world ever been fair?

Katara aswell. Her bending is forever unlocked by men (Aang and Jet), her defiance of authority is lessened and her naievety is also changed. A lot of her motherhood role is also completlty gone since they have changed Sokkas sexism into elder brother smothering. Her fight with Paku holds a lot less significance since she has no RAGE behind her. No rage that has built for YEARS as time and time again people have said no to her face for being a woman, for being weak, for not being enough simply because of who she is. that doesn't exist for her anymore because the water tribes are just...nice. We see one bad person in the water tribe and its Hadoka and he's mean to sokka! Kataras rage comes from Paku saying no to her, and whilst thats swell, it changes her entire "I'm a master now" moment into just...lame girlbossery. Thats kinda how the entire last 2 episodes felt like for her character. A common girlboss character without the emotional depth to make it femenism.

I think my main issue is that both shows set themselves up as being femenist by nature. The og show wanted to tackle issues with sexism, using book 1 as its main demonstration with it, but the theme still follows throughout the narative. netflix's show outright said they were removing the sexist elements. When you place youself onto that pedastal, any sexist writing you have becomes emphasised.

The og show undoubtably has sexist moments! Irohs comments to June are the most obvious to me, a long with a couple comments from Zuko later on. You can certainly argue that the extreme lack of GOOD mother figures is an issue (Kat and Sokkas mother is dead, Zukos is 'dead', and Toph is awful and rather quite compared to her father). Theres other examples, although currently my brain cannot think of any since I don't often write indepth critisms.

The live actions main point of sexism is its female main characters. we literally meet Yue in the kitchen! Women can be in kitchens but that is certainly a choice! Theres this strange hatred for make up aswell, yes with Suki but also with Sokka. His war paint is removed. Its like saying make up cannot be worn by strong fighters which is rather sexist. Speaking off: not putting Sokka in the kyoshi outfit is just...dumb? If you want to show him learning the style, having him wear the outfit. Its an aspect of the style and philosophy. A man wearing make up and a skirt doesn't emasculate him yet the show makes it feel that way with the refusal to do it. "Oh but then you'd have Sokka and Suki kiss in the kyoshi outfits" who cares. "it will look like lesbians" it won't. Even if it did, who cares? you can't be 'femenist' and anti-lesbian. Putting Sokka in the Kyoshi outfit, having him respect it, is just as important as having Aang learn the other elements, or Iroh creating lightning redirection. Why? because it shows a respect of culture, and how you can blend that into your own way of thinking. It's cultural extchanged based on respect.

When you name yourself femenist, yet have explicitly sexist writing, your GOING to get dogpiled with critism based on that 'femenist' msg.

[lfghughes]

Stay Forever

a/n: got a little barzy request about moving in and it’s been a long while since i got a barzal request

“Mmm, I don’t want to go to practice.” Mat stirred next to you, his fingertips traveling up and down your spine. You seconded his statement, last thing you wanted was for either of you to leave this bed especially when soon enough your time here would be coming to an end once again. Living in a different city had its challenges. It could definitely be worse but a three hour drive was still rough especially when it was mostly you making the drive.

Not that you were blaming him at all but during hockey season you understood he couldn’t just come and go as he pleased and there was no way that after a game he’d want to drive three hours to your place so you usually made the sacrifice. Again it could be worse but this was still tough. “Are you still planning on heading back home later today?” He asked and you could hear the tone in his voice was slightly on the down side. 

It would definitely be another week before you’d be able to make it back down since you had a few projects you needed to focus on this week and you knew Mat wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. “I’m probably going to head out as soon as you go to practice so I can beat the traffic.” You could still feel his finger tips on your skin as he cleared his throat slightly like if he was nervous.

“I’ve actually been thinking that maybe we should start thinking about maybe you moving in with me. That way you don’t have to drive as much and I mean there’s plenty of space here for you to work and do your own thing.” The idea was beautiful but there was also a big part of it that made you feel anxious. You had lived with an ex before and it clearly hadn’t ended well. Not that you saw yourself and Mat breaking up but living together changed a lot of things. 

You pulled away slightly from his touch and a frown grew on his lips. Immediately you felt the guilt settle in. “I don’t know, I have to think about it. I like my place, you know. I know it’s far but I’m not sure if I’m ready to change my life yet.” Maybe not the right set of words for this moment. “I mean I want to. It’s not that. I just…living together will change so many things and what if it’s not for the better.”

Luckily, Mathew knew all about your previous relationship and he knew how it affected you and the insecurities you had now so right away he knew why you were worried. “It’s going to be a change but not a big one. I mean you’re here pretty much every weekend but hey we can do a slow move in. Whatever makes you comfortable.” His expression had softened and you knew that he would let you take this at your pace which meant the world to you. “I really have to get to the rink, but just think about it. You already have a key and half your stuff is here but whatever you need, I’ll do it.”

With all that being said, Mat slipped out of the bed going off to his practice and leaving you with your thoughts. He had a point and even though it wasn’t ideal you could pay rent on your own place for a few more months until you were sure this was a good idea and once you felt more comfortable you could sign the lease over to someone else. You knew you could trust him but seeing how he was willing to move at a slower pace and the fact that even if you did say no he wouldn’t get angry made it so much easier to make a decision. You took out your phone sending out a quick text to him “What about we try this whole moving in thing next weekend?”

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

i keep thinking about ocelot takarazuka i dont really see the influence like he just looks like a middle age guy with masc features manner and fashion so what do you think the artist actually meant? there's nothing feminine about ocelot like how does the "is that a man or woman" thing play in here cause i don't see it. He's not like raiden or raikov. He's just a guy 🧍‍♂️so how does the all female theatre thing apply

Hello Anon! Full, immediate disclosure, this answer is messy and disjointed. I probably don't even answer the question your asking end of the day, but I'll try my best.

I believe this is the post you're wondering about?

As I said in this earlier post I'm not a Japanese speaker, so I have to go on interpretation, and what has been offered by the translations available. I can't help but think there is going to be some sort of nuance missing as a result, but I'll do my best.

To start, I think you and I might have a slightly different view on masculine and feminine-to me the two concepts are pretty interchangeable, but I do understand where you're (probably, I don't know you personally after all) are coming from and that, no, Ocelot doesn't have many traditional 'feminine' characteristics.

You'll note that in the original post, Shinkawa refers to getting inspiration from the idea of 'women in their 40's (the age Ocelot almost is in MGSV)' and 'long, flashing eyelashes'. (My interpretation here is that by this, he means in the way long eyelashes that are considered sexy have an eye-catching flow to them. Sort of like how we can say 'fluttering lashes'. Intended to draw a person's gaze in, and command their presence).

Doing some cursory research tells me that the Takarazuka Revue (because Takarazuka is also a city in Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan.) is an all-female musical troupe located within that same city. Started in 1913, by Ichizō Kobayashi.

(I also got distracted by this version that is a performance of Casino Royale, so there's that)

Anyway, ahem.

"Kobayashi believed that it was the ideal spot to open an attraction of some kind that would boost train ticket sales and draw more business to Takarazuka. Since Western song and dance shows were becoming more popular and Kobayashi considered the kabuki theater to be old and elitist."

Throughout the article, there is also this;

"Takarazuka has had a profound influence on the history of anime and manga, especially shōjo manga.[27][28] Osamu Tezuka, a highly influential manga creator, grew up in the town of Takarazuka. His mother knew many of the Takarazuka actresses, and as a child he knew them and watched many of their performances"

I can assume that the performances have a lot of influence on media, and it's not uncommon for MGS to take inspiration. There could be an entire article on the things MGS takes inspiration from, even outside the most obvious like Escape from New York, character model bases, etc.

Cycling back to the original point, (there is also a video that exact post comes from, but I don't have the link on hand, on YouTube *no translations). I think that it's entirely possible Shinkawa took 'loose' inspiration, or a little more. I can see why and how he might've based Ocelot's look on the idea. (Loose shirt, tight pants, scarf open neck). But there is also the element of which Takarazuka is a performance, more than anything.

It's acting. Playing. Something Ocelot does all the time. Half of his time on screen, he's putting on some kind of performance. While this is something he does the least in MGSV, that never fully changes 100%. (And after all, he's also hypnotized for most of the plot). So there's a counter argument to be had that this is one of his greatest performances pre-MGS4. But that's a different post.

Ocelot presents/is masculine. But, he has longer eyelashes, his clothes are a little more 'free' than the standard military garb when he's allowed to choose his own outfit. (Again this is specifically MGSV Ocelot, though there's something to be said about his chosen attire being such a sharp 3 piece later on).

At the end of the day, maybe a way you can look at it is to say that, Shinkawa looked to Takarazuka when designing MGSV Ocelot to give him a sort of 'flow' to his looks. He was attracted to the idea of taking elements from Takarazuka, because Ocelot is a performer, and he sees some possibility for feminine additions in his looks *or* might've thought it more 'fitting' than Kabuki.

But again, I don't know if we see fully masculine and feminine the same way, (and maybe Shinkawa personally associates long eyelashes with sexy women; or women made up to look like men but with longer lashes) I can't know for sure myself. I think you would need a native or very good Japanese speaker to interpret it fully.

If I was to offer you a personal opinion-I can see it. I can see where there's a draw that one might have with the look, and where Shinkawa might've gotten said inspiration. But I am not entirely certain how to put that into words either? My perspective isn't going to be 1-to-1 of yours either.

Maybe someone else can interpret all this better than me, I definitely feel as if I've not done this justice at all. Because at the end of the day, I don't see a hard divide in masculine and feminine in Ocelot, but I think that you, Anon, see him as 100% masculine. But again, I can't speak for you and I am not sure.

[bumblingbabooshka]

(anon from before) ok that is genuinely so hilarious to me but what I meant was what do you think of it as a meditation tool/nugget of Tuvok and Vulcan lore? It reminds me a lot of your fic about Vulcan bonds being like a house. (<- a horrible summary of your beautiful fic I do apologize but I hope you know what I mean) in that the final form/shape is ever changing depending on a persons mental state. The imagery of the (silly little) structure that Tuvok was building in that episode toppling over with him saying “I am in control” and because he was mentally unwell (with the telepathic std lmao) gives me like,,,, “the structure of your home/the metaphorical rug being pulled out from under you after u got transported 70,000 light years away from your bondmate and entire world and network of bonds” vibes.

Side note I think that it has great potential as a physical representation of a failing Vulcan marriage/betrothal in a hypothetical SNW T’pring/Spock episode. <- if I had my way in the SNW writers room, all hell would break loose lmao

Is there a real connection? Am I just fangirling over your fics? We shall never know (one of those is certainly the case)

Original Ask: Thoughts on the Keethera? (Tuvok’s block puzzle thing from s3 ep2) <- At the time I had no thoughts as I didn't understand what anon was asking. The Keethera is very interesting. I've said this before but it's interesting and indicative of his character that the two games/meditation exercises we see Tuvok partaking in are the Keethera and Kal-Toh, both of which do not have a hard and fast ideal or win-state and are meant to show the person or people building them something about themselves. It's very much unlike chess, which is Spock's game of choice. The Keethera is more a diagnostic tool and Kal-Toh speaks to the core of Vulcan emotional control - that is, the ability to find harmony where there is seemingly only random chaos. Tuvok's not doing well mentally. I don't think Tuvok's been doing well mentally since vanishing into the delta quadrant, much like everyone else, however unlike everyone else he doesn't seem to have any sort of....safety net? Anyone to confide in? Nor does he seem to WANT to or know how to confide in others - how to be open about his pain or need for help.

I like this interaction in which instead of having to say that he's struggling, Kes can simply look at the Keethera and see that he is. Tuvok's inability to effectively share his pain with others makes sense - they're all aliens to him and he isn't close with any of the Vulcans on the crew. He's also a person who prides himself on being solitary and strong and Vulcan. As seen in 'Alter Ego' he intentionally cultivates an air of being utterly separate from others even when ostensibly participating in a group activity and is shown several times in the series to think himself above others. [Ex: Neelix, Chakotay, B'Elanna, Humans in general] However, the image he has of himself makes reaching out for help incredibly difficult. He has cultivated an image in which he is utterly unlike the others, in which he is better, less prone to being hurt, and because he stakes his pride on this image he now cannot ask for help without it going against his image and damaging the reputation he enjoys holding. I think this is a relatable problem. Personally, when I was a teenager, I had cultivated an image of being a jokester and bubbly person which I struggled valiantly to maintain even when I was going through severe bouts of depression. The idea of myself as someone who was a jokester and happy all the time was very important to me and losing that felt like it would be 'giving in' to my depression and losing my identity when in reality my refusal to actually address my depression was causing my depression to worsen. In Tuvok's case, his identity pre-delta quad is perhaps the only thing he has left of his old life. It's stated and implied multiple times by the narrative that Tuvok is lonely and misses his family and that that loneliness is beginning to cause him to act in ways he normally wouldn't (Compare him to Marayna in 'Alter Ego'). The fact that he misses his family and is lonely is also relevant due to the fact that family ties are INCREDIBLY important in Vulcan culture. Tuvok's family is obviously very close but more relevant to this, family ties are stated across several episodes to be crucial in dealing with trauma or mental stress. Personal information seems to be [across multiple series] very private to Vulcans. Personal information is sensitive and intimate and not something you share with just anyone. To me it's natural to assume that this is also a contributing factor in Tuvok's resistance towards reaching out for help. He feels it's something private that he should only share with other Vulcans who are close to him or a healer - but no such person exists on Voyager and his closest friend is the captain, whom he doesn't want to 'burden' with his problems when he can handle them alone [or so he thinks] and so he endures and endures and endures in silence. The Keethera showcases Tuvok's mental state not only in its structure but in Tuvok's persistent mantra that he is fine despite the clear signs to the contrary. "I am in control," he says, as the Keethera falls apart. It is also telling that Tuvok has no separate course of action. After the Keethera crumbles and Kes leaves, Tuvok just starts building the Keethera again. It's a meditational aid and helps focus the mind but something strikes me as incomplete or wishful about him continually building it, alone, and only to watch it crumble. What else can he do but continually punch the numbers and watch as he's told over and over again that he's not okay?

Tuvok's conversation with Kes at the end of 'Warlord' is something I love. I think it's very good advice on dealing with trauma that he struggles to follow himself. We never see the completed Keethera at the end of 'Flashback' - there is no assurance that his mind is completely healed from the trauma he's endured. [Even if the memory was not strictly 'real', his reactions to it were and thus we can say he DID have a repressed traumatic memory] Instead we see him talking with Janeway, with a friend, and we perhaps know that even if it isn't - he's not alone.

[fanficshiddles]

The Call Of Fate, Chapter 12

Note: Rather short chapter.

Jade was bored around the base for most of the day since the team were all out on a mission. She’d spent some time playing bass and then had a walk around outside in the sun, but then she found herself just mindlessly flicking through the TV channels until they got back.

When the team finally arrived home, everyone was a bit beaten and bruised. But Loki and Thor were healing quickly as usual. But they were all triumphant and riding high on adrenaline as the mission was successful.

‘Party tonight, everyone’s invited!’ Stark announced before going off to shower.

‘I swear he just looks for any excuse to throw a party.’ Loki commented as his armour vanished and he was now in a dark green shirt with black jeans.

‘A party sounds good though.’ Jade shrugged.

Loki chuckled as he walked over to her and draped his arm around her shoulder. ‘What do you want to wear to it?’

‘Uhm, not sure yet. Why?’ Jade raised an eyebrow at him.

‘I’ll change you, so we can get a head start on drinking of course.’

‘Ok, why don’t you surprise me then.’ Jade crossed her arms over her chest.

‘Alrighty.’ Loki grinned and stepped back a little as he waved his hand on front of her.

She looked down and was surprised, yet impressed with his choice. It was a black dress, casual but on the slightly dressier end of the scale. Ideal for the party.

‘Well, that’s definitely better than taking all the time to choose an outfit and getting changed.’ She grinned back at him.

‘Exactly. More time for drinking.’ He winked at her.

They did get a bit of a head start on the rest of the team, but it meant they were in good spirits when the party got into full swing. Music, dancing, games and lots of laughter.

Jade was having a blast, it was nice to let loose again and just enjoy herself. With good people around her that cared about her.

‘Let me guess, Loki conjured up that dress for you?’ Natasha asked her at the buffet table.

‘Yeah, he did. So we could get extra drinking time in.’ Jade laughed.

‘I thought as much. The touch of green on the back is nice, but clearly Loki.’

‘What green?’ Jade raised her eyebrows.

Natasha laughed and snapped a picture of the back of her dress. She showed Jade the picture, and low and behold there was indeed some dark emerald green strips through the back.

‘Typical Loki.’ Jade laughed. ‘Though it does look good.’

She locked eyes on Loki and moved through the crowd towards him. When she reached his side, she elbowed him playfully.

‘Are you trying to lay your claim on me or something?’ She teased, narrowing her eyes at him.

‘Whatever do you mean?’ He asked innocently.

‘The green on the back of my dress.’ Jade said knowingly.

Loki chuckled. ‘You can never go wrong with a bit of green in your life.’ He winked at her.

-

As the party came to an end, Loki walked Jade back to her room. While they were drunk, they weren’t completely out of it.

‘Tonight was pretty fun.’ Jade laughed as they reached her room. ‘Thanks for walking me back, it is such a long way to go.’

Loki chuckled and leaned against her door. ‘It certainly was. Far too far for a beautiful young woman, such as yourself, to walk alone.’

‘Yeah, very dangerous too. You never know who’s lurking in these corridors.’ Jade grinned.

‘Very true. Some really unsavoury characters here.’ Loki said with shifty eyes.

They both laughed.

‘Well… thanks, Loki.’ Jade smiled up at him.

‘What for?’

‘Just for being you. Tonight was just what I needed, and it wouldn’t have been good without you.’

Loki smiled and cupped her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. But when she opened her eyes, he was leaning down closer to her. Her heart began beating quicker and she could see his eyes glazing over a little.

He brushed his thumb against her cheek and then slid his hand down to gently hold her chin. Jade looked deep into his eyes and found herself closing the distance between them as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Then their lips collided, softly and tentative at first. But when they both knew it was what the other wanted, it got more heated. And their hands began roaming down over each other’s bodies, pulling each other closer. Their breathing became heavier and Jade felt like her legs were about to turn to jelly.

When they leaned back, Loki glanced down at her slightly puffy lips and her cheeks were red. He engulfed her hands within his.

‘Do you uh… want to come in for a nightcap?’ Jade asked shyly.

Loki gave her her answer by kissing her again, then backing her into her room and kicking the door shut behind them.

[intuitive-revelations]

I need to rewatch that episode at some point to fully digest it, as I was watching with my family, but I have a bit of a theory coming out of it. Granted it might also be wishful thinking, since it's kind-of what I would do if I was in RTD's shoes, but hear me out:

Getting another mention of the Timeless Child arc feels very deliberate, despite (again) the new series obstensibly being a jumping on point for new viewers.

The episode is filled with themes regarding being a 'foundling' (that wording from Davina was a VERY deliberate choice - granted it's already floating around in pop-culture a bit with The Mandalorian, but it's also specifically the wording the Master used to describe the Timeless Child), not to mention fostering from the parent's point of view, and ambiguous family relationships (daughter / foster kid etc.).

There's clearly a coincidence parallel there. Indeed we hear as much from Fifteen himself.

"I'm adopted." "Are you?" "Yeah, yeah. I, uh, only found out recently."

Meanwhile we also get this element of the timeline changing, and it completely changing the life and personality of Carla.

And finally, there's the Doctor watching Ruby's birth mother (?) leave despite seemingly being tempted to confront her vs Ruby immediately running off when she realises the Doctor's a time traveller (RTD clearly influencing himself there, given the similarities with Rose's debut).

My guess (and hope, full disclaimer) is that we might get some development of the Doctor's origins to make them a bit more ambiguous beyond the Timeless Child mystery. Ideally via changing timelines as per Unnatural History IMHO, like I mentioned in a recent post.

We've got some hints of RTD thinking this way already, given his reasoning for sharing Doctor Who and the Time War during lockdown:

More importantly, the idea has come of age. This chapter only died because it became, continuity-wise, incorrect. But now, the Thirteenth Doctor has shown us Doctors galore, with infinite possibilities. All Doctors exist. All stories are true.

Tales of the TARDIS also seems to lean quite hard into this, with each past Doctor having aged beyond their regenerations due to the constantly changing time tracks. (This also feels kinda like what he was getting at with his 'all Doctors bigenerated' comment, even if it actually occuring in-universe as it did with Fourteen woud be a disaster.)

Do I think we will get too focused on timelines shifting? ...no not necessarily. But I do think we might see some key themes regarding having multiple families (biological, adopted, fostered, found etc.) and these might get applied directly to the Doctor, with him acknowledging having multiple pasts and multiple families. Like that line from Lungbarrow:

'Goodbye, Lungbarrovians,' he called. 'Don't worry. I don't ask for your forgiveness. Time runs in circles. I have other families!

Granted, a lot of this is pure speculation, but I do think there's clear setup for Ruby and Fifteen to be foils to each other going forward, which may indicate similar arcs, even if they don't necessarily unfold at the same time.

However there is one big thing that really might just link it together for me..

The way the family changes as the timelines change. The way Carla's relationship with her foster children changes too. The difference in the number of photos.

This last bit is particulary interesting, because it has two possible subtextual meanings in my head. Let's assume the theory is right, everything involving Ruby is meant to foreshadow the Doctor's own multiple pasts and multiple families.

Does the number of photos represent the size of his family (eg. 45 cousins in a House vs a handful of siblings and stepsiblings)?

"You've got the biggest family in the world." "I have. What about you?" "Uh... I've got no one."

(Although it is worth noting that this is also exactly what Sarah Jane said to Ten about the companions in Journeys End. I'm not how, or if, this is meaningful, but I figured I'd note it.)

Or... and this is a stretch of a stretch... could it represent the number of incarnations the Doctor has had in each timetrack?

"All those lives... you fostered thirty-three." "How many? Not me, darling. Don't be so stupid."

There's not that much to go off yet, so a lot of this may be well off what actually happens, but on a thematic level at least, I do very much think Ruby and the Doctor will continue to be foils to eachother regarding their relationships with their families and trying to find their 'true origin'.

[missmastectomy]

Hey, detrans woman here. I'm a little down right now and don't have someone to talk about my issue. If you don't wanna read this or answer it's okay. I don't want to trigger you.

Sooo... my issue right now is that I want to have "my body" back? I went under hormone therapy and of course my voice got deeper, i got an showing Adam's apple, more body hair etc. And I was very happy when this happened, like I finally was myself and I could live more happy now and would be more confident. I was kinda right because for some time it was like this but after some years I recognized I was running from something. At first I didn't knew what it was but the more time passed the more I realized it was a lot of unsolved trauma and not the right help. Neither from my family nor from doctors but I don't blame them. My family didn't knew it better and they just tried their best. The doctors actually didn't really focused on the topic and just gave me hormones asap. But still I would say they didn't knew it better? Sometimes I think that's just what I want to think and the truth may seem be more egoistic. I got operations like "a higher voice", "a smaller Adam's apple" and even a region I don't wanna talk about. I got these operations because I wanted to get "my old body" back. Like how my body would have been of I hadn't take these hormones but it still doesn't feel right... I'm okay with the body hair because if it does annoy me or let me feel down I can shave it but now my boobs are the problem? It's confusing because I never wanted to have them and wanted 110% a mastectomy but know I'm like "if I hadn't took those hormones they would have grown a little more" and I actually like that my boobs are small and I don't want them to be bigger or get surgery to match beauty standards. I'm just sad that I'll never know how they would look if I never had the hormones and it's feeling like a part of myself I never get to know. It was almost the same with my voice but that one was more triggering and it still does because my voice is higher but clearly not what it would've sounded and I'm just sad that I never get to see my body how it was meant to be. I just feel like someone who has messed up their body...

If you're still here. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful time <3

Hey anon, not triggered at all. I do not mind getting these kinds of asks or detrans questions in general.

I have a similar experience with my body. I will not ever know what my body would have looked like as an adult because I transitioned as an adolescent. It is a frustrating and quite frankly sad process to go through, but ultimately it's just one of those "unknowns" that we have to live with and make peace with.

Our ideal body image changes so much as we age. I think it's very understandable that you wanted no breasts, especially since it sounds like you transitioned young. This is a time where a lot of girls are struggling and often want to hmm. desex ourselves in a way. It's hard enough becoming an adult, but arguably often more difficult for girls because of the sexualization aspect of it all.

Not sure if you're looking for advice or venting, but I am helped by this by remembering that there is nothing I can do to get my old body back. What's done is done and there's no use crying over spilled milk, as they say. But the grief is understandable and it's important to let yourself feel it. Allowing yourself to heal and forgiving yourself for past mistakes, or your parents' mistakes even, helps a lot.

As for these doctors, I know what you mean when you say you don't want to blame them. Many are well-meaning, but honestly? The onus is absolutely on them. These are professionals who ignored basic medical and moral principles when working with you as a child. They absolutely SHOULD have known better. I've said it before and I'll say it again - no matter the intent, these doctors are still doing immeasurable harm to an entire generation of young people, because they got swept up in this ideology or they are too afraid to question their patients. We must hold them to a higher standard.

You say they gave you hormones ASAP. With any other problem, a doctor that rushes through the medical process for the sake of validating a patient's diagnoses without the proper screening would be condemned by the medical community. Rightfully so. It is up to you to determine whether you want to forgive them or not, but know that you don't need to. It is OK to be angry at professionals with poor judgement that culminated in a traumatic experience for you. I have seen many detrans people (women especially) do this. Because someone wasn't malicious, we try to excuse their actions. But there is no excuse for this level of reckless malpractice.

I hope you are doing well and continue to heal <3