#this ken's job is daddy

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash @ The 5SOS Show Tour Santiago - 27 July 2023

[cieloclercs]

congrats on your 1K you deserve it‼️‼️

when you have the time could you write for lewis hamilton + nepo!reader ( male or female ) who is an actress / actor?

king of my heart — lewis hamilton

pairing. lewis hamilton x nepo baby!actress!reader

genre. social media au

face claim. gigi hadid

warnings. mentions of age gap, swearing, some online hate, lewis and reader are literally the hottest couple ever, daniel lowkey trolling lando, sex jokes ??, mixed up met gala years sorryyyy, some inaccuracies with race outcomes shshsh

author’s note. hello anon! thank you for being my first request for my 1k event 🥰 i wasn’t sure if you wanted an imagine style thing or not so i’ve gone for a social media au. hope that’s ok ! if not just let me know and i can redo this for you <3

liked by kaiagerber and 4,739,725 others

yourusername when he takes you on a romantic getaway to a private beach island after being away for a month 🥹🥹 lewishamilton i love u bby 💕

view all comments…

lewishamilton Only the best for my Queen 🤍

yourusername 😘😘

username stopppp they’re so adorable 😭😭

username WHEN IS IT MY TURN

danielricciardo get yourself a man who’ll spoil you even though you literally have a higher net worth than him 🤩🤩🤩

yourusername i highly recommend it x

username danielricciardo you looking for a sugar daddy? 👀

danielricciardo why you offering? 😏

username DANNY WTF 😭

landonorris me and who? 👀

danielricciardo your right hand

landonorris wow

username what is in the air in australia today 😭

username sis is winning at life 😔

username wdym lewis is the one who should count himself lucky 🤷‍♀️

username bc his girlfriend’s a nepo baby who’s never worked a day in her life? don’t think so but ok 😂😂

username WOAH WOAH WOAH

username you come for y/n you’ll have to get through ME FIRST BITCH 🔪🔪🔪

username girlie woke up and chose violence yeesh

username you did not just claim an OSCAR WINNING ACTRESS have never worked a day in her life oh my god 😭

*lewishamilton liked this comment

username embarrassing 😳

*lewishamilton liked this comment

username lewis out here defending y/n from the haters 🥹 where can i find a man like that??

zendaya the cutest couple 😍

yourusername thank you my love 😘

tomholland2013 ?? 🤨

yourusername 😐🖕

username team y/ndaya button >>>

*zendaya, yourusername and 5,736 others liked this comment

lilymhe oooh la laaa 😍😍

yourusername my girl 😚

username imagine being able to say you’re dating THE y/n y/l/n i’d never fucking shut up about it

username it’s a good job lewis doesn’t shut up about it then 😭

liked by yourusername and 59,136 others

themetgalaofficial This year’s hottest couple, award-winning actress Y/N Y/L/N and seven-time Formula 1 World Champion, Sir Lewis Hamilton, grace the Met Gala red carpet 🤍

username she’s everything. he’s just ken.

username you did not just call LEWIS HAMILTON ‘just ken’ 😭

username she doesn’t deserve him 🤢🤢

username seriously what does he see in her?? she’s completely talentless. the only reason she’s managed to land ANY acting job is because of her father. she’s a fucking fraud. 🙄

username no need for the negativity honey, lewis still isn’t going to fuck you x

*yourusername liked this comment

username SHE DID NOT 😭😭 WHAT AN ICON

username omg y/n looks like a goddess 😍 and lewis is there too i guess…

username fucking nepo baby. fuck off and blow daddy’s money somewhere else u whore 🖕🖕

username i smell jealousy…

username 😂😂 what’s there to be jealous of?

username maybe the fact that y/n is a thousand times richer and more successful than you will ever be OF HER OWN MERIT…oh and the fact she’s fucking lewis hamilton every night, which you so clearly want to do from the BLATANT jealousy your comments reek of 😘

username ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS

username ma’am, you dropped this 👑

username SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 🎤🎤

username oh, y/n’s stylist has outdone herself with this one 🤩

username MOM AND DAD

username they’re so 😩😩😩

username i want them both so bad 🫠

username who’s the arm candy in this relationship? 🤔

username i’d say y/n because she’s prettiest…but lewis. it’s definitely lewis.

*yourusername liked this comment

username somehow i just know she walks him like a DOG

yourusername thank you for having us ☺️🤍

themetgalaofficial It’s our pleasure 🤩

username yourusername HEY QUEEN

username even the met gala is an y/n fan

*themetgalaofficial liked this comment

liked by yourusername and 7,241,936 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton The happiest 4 years with my Queen 🤍 Here’s to forever x

view all comments…

yourusername the last picture was uncalled for 🥲

yourusername but i love you with everything that i have to give, my champion ❤️

lewishamilton I’m the luckiest man on earth to call you mine 😘

landonorris this is the sappiest shit i’ve ever read.

yourusername stay salty, lando 😚

danielricciardo landonorris it’s ok, mate, we know you’re doomed to be single for life. here if you ever want to talk x

yourusername danny 😭

landonorris ouch.

username SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP WHEN IS IT MY TURN

username they’re so in love it makes my heart hurt

username the third picture is proof Y/N WALKS HIM LIKE FUCKING ROSCOE 😭😭

username ok but WHENS THE PROPOSAL COMING???

username lewishamilton WHEN??

mercedesamgf1 Happy anniversary to our golden couple 🤩

yourusername thank you admin! 🤍 can’t wait to see you in singapore x

mercedesamgf1 We’re looking forward to it 🫶

username i still don’t like y/n but…this is kind of cute

username now that’s character development 👏

username glad you’ve finally realised !!

zendaya happy anniversary, my loves 😍

yourusername thank you sweetie 😘 come visit soon !

sebastianvettel Happy anniversary! 🤍

lewishamilton ❤️

username omg seb interacting on instagram? what is this parallel universe 🫨

username yourusername lewishamilton YOU GUYS LOOKING FOR A DOG BC I CAN BARK

username girl wtf 😭

username when they have kids they’re gonna be the ultimate milf and dilf 🤩

username STOP i need dilf lewis rn 😭

username MY FAVOURITE COUPLE I LOVE YOUUUU 💕

username it literally feels like yesterday that they first got together 😭

username i knowwww how has it been four years already?

username i want what they have 🥹🫶

liked by lewishamilton and 10,256,947 others

tagged: lewishamilton

yourusername king of my heart 👑

…

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

comments on this post have been limited.

[haystarlight]

What if mlp characters had Tumblr

🌟 smartypants Follow

I have a princess conference in the morning but that won't stop me from staying up till 3 am on AO3. Mama needs her bedtime stories

🐉 ogres&oubliettesenthusiast Follow

OP go to sleep or I will eat your crown

2,008 notes

🎈 smilesmilesmile Follow

All of you are like "would you fuck your clone?" hypothetically but, in practice, clones are too dumb to give consent and that's the real reason why I didn't sleep with any of my clones when I had the chance

🎈 totally-not-a-clone Follow

OP you still have a chance

10,000 notes

✨ great&powerful Follow

It's always "take off the evil amulet! it's corrupting your mind!" and never "oh! you look so pretty in your new amulet!"

✨ great&powerful Follow

Celestia forbid ladies do anything

102 notes

😏 sexiestvillaintournament Follow

🦋 Id-like-to-be-a-tree Follow

Um, would you guys please stop voting for my boyfriend?

🌪️ whatfunisthereinmakingsense Follow

I take it as a compliment

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

I am offended

500,467 notes

🍎 cmc-omc Follow

Y'all know how some families got a gay cousin and all 'em other cousins are straight? Well mah family's the opposite. Ah don't even think we got a straight cousin!

🍎 cmc-omc Follow

Mah sister says we have to assimilate other ponies into our family so the family name don't die out. She would do numbers here

5,667 notes

🌈 20%cooler Follow

GUYS I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAYS

I've just been on the hospital (again) cause I got zapped by lightning (again)

But I promise I'll update my Daring Do/Reader fic as soon as I can! Thanks for the patience, love you guys!

🌟 smartypants Follow

It's okay, take your time! I'll just reread the old chapters in the meantime

🐉 ogre&oubliettesenthusiast Follow

NO!!! YOU WILL GO TO SLEEP!!!

120 notes

💎 chicunique&maginifique Follow

"how are you so good at fashion" well you'd be an expert in fashion too if you'd spent 20 years in the closet

🔔 professional-theatre-filly Follow

My sister in Celestia that closet was made of glass

20,354 notes

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

Nothing like coming back from exhile just to find your bedroom was replaced by a whole ass forest

Some people have no respect for others belongings

☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow

I don't control the growing of the magical forest, bitch

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

Rude

☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow

Don't think I forgot about that time in 500 B.E. that you stole my ice cream

200 notes

🛴 the-agender-acrobat Follow

You can't hurt me I have mommy AND daddy issues I'm unstoppable

🌈 20%cooler Follow

OP do you need me to adopt you

🛴 the-agender-acrobat Follow

I would love that actually

1,554 notes

💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow

*levitates my cat out of the way so I can use the sewing machine, which I need for my job*

my cat: YOU LIFT OPALESCENCE?!?!???! YOU LIFT HER WITH YOUR WICKED SORCERY?!??!!!! YOU ASSERT CONTROL OVER HER WITH YOUR MAGIC?!?!??! OHHHHH!!! MOTHER IS EVIL!!!!!

🔔 professional-theatre-filly Follow

I agree with the cat

1,827,654 notes

🥕 Carrot-TOPING Follow

Girlfriend is out of town all week so I'm gonna dye my mane and tail green

💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow

WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING

🥕 Carrot-TOPING Follow

She's all my self control

364, 245 notes

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

Back in my day we tagged our fanfiction properly. There's a difference between / and & you rufians

☀️ cake.by.the.ocean Follow

Shut up old lady

🌘 I-have-loved-you-for-a-thousand-years Follow

YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME

30,150 notes

🩵 girlboss Follow

Sure, sex is great but does *your* husband help you check all your shipping fanfiction for grammar errors? Didn't think so

💎 chicunique&magnifique Follow

She's everything, he's just Ken

🛡️ malewife Follow

Happy to be of service 🫡

2,035 notes

[medusas-daughter]

My favorite part about Weird Barbie and Allan and all the other discontinued discarded Barbies and Kens is that they weren't affected by the brainwash, because of course they weren't. They didn't hold that much power in Barbieland, why would the Kens care about them in the Kendom. They're the queers and neurodivergents and disableds of society, those who don't quite belong or feel like part of the sisterhood, but are still absolutely victimized by the patriarchy. Those who stay loyal to feminism and human rights, even those that don't concern them, because they know first hand what it's like to be on the sideline. The compassion and empathy that Weird Barbie (or lesbian Barbie as I like to call her, we all know why she's always in the splits ✂️✂️) shows all the Barbies even though they call her Weird Barbie behind her back and to her face. The fact that, even though they don't like her, the Barbies know that if they ever need help they can go to her and she will always help them, and they trust her judgment. The symbolism behind the fact that when President Barbie offered her a job, she asked to clean Barbieland. She's essential to maintaining this society that rejects her. Sugar Daddy Ken and Magic Earring Ken and Allan are the epitome of queer men and trans mascs and non binary people. They're not nor will they ever be women. But they'll always reject and be rejected by the patriarchy. The discontinued Barbies are the disabled Barbies, they're angry about their design flaws, and they're right there in the trenches trying to get the leading Barbies to wake up and take back Barbieland. Oh I could talk about this part of the movie and the characters for hours. I love them so much.

[sytoran]

home is where the heart is ★ profile

IN WHICH your married life with Natasha Romanoff is depicted through this comedy-drama series. With your dream job, three kids, and a plethora of friends, each day is blissful but all the more chaotic and unpredictable. (And ultimately, very horny.)

SERIES MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

Y/N L/N (the beefcake)

YOU are known as 'mama' to the kids, and 'daddy' to natasha. would literally lay your life down for your kids and wife. raging butch, gym rat, handiman around the house, occasionally helping with cooking and cleaning as well. you're also the CEO of L/N-Corp worldwide media, with a degree in being husband material. you like it when natasha calls you handsome, a service top to the end of time. but at the end of the day, you're just ken, hopelessly in love with your wife and worshipping the very ground she walks on.

NATASHA ROMANOFF (the milf)

NATASHA is known as 'mommy' to the kids and you. epitome of housewife milf, with her clean fashion and reading glasses and soft tummy you never fail to squish. she's the stricter parent, with a firm but patient parenting style. as much as she can resist the kids' puppy dog eyes, she always falls for yours. down bad for your beefiness. peak wife material - she's teaching the kids the piano, the food she cooks is literally orgasmic. your darling angel pillow princess. she's the barbie to your ken, the black cat to your golden retriever, the only one for you till the end of time.

MARINA (the peacemaker)

MARINA is your oldest daughter, ten years of age but wise beyond her years. her name is of russian descent, meaning "of the sea". marina is a quiet kid, more calm and laid-back like natasha. you think your daughter is a secret genius, as she's topped her class since first grade, and has an amazing affinity for languages and the arts. the first time you read one of her poems, you started crying. (it was titled 'the sun' and was about how much she adored you, for the record.) marina is such a responsible big sister, though she sometimes struggles with the lack of attention she gets because of her younger siblings.

EMILIA AND EMILIO (the troublemakers)

EMILIA is the older twin, five years-old and ready to rock the world. her name is also of russian origin and means 'eager'. she's more tomboyish than her older sister, disliking dresses and being weirdly obsessed with checkered bermudas. she's a little unorganised, but emilio keeps her in check. they balance each other out, after all. emilia is completely selfless and entirely loveable, just this shining bundle of joy in your life. she loves football too! you play it with her and emilio on the weekends.

EMILIO is the younger twin by fourteen minutes (which his older sister never fails to tease him about). they share the same name meaning, which is rather fitting. this five year-old is loud, unapologetic, and aspires to be a dinosaur. he really likes pterodactyls, okay? he's a mommy's boy, always curled up in natasha's arms when he's not busy exploring the world. his fated enemy is mathematics, so you have to fight world wars in order to get him to do his addition and subtraction. just a cheeky little guy who thinks the world of his sisters and moms.

SERIES MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

first time making actual ocs with names and stuff! what are your thoughts on this lively family....

© 𝐒𝐘𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐍 2024 ━ do not copy, edit or translate my works

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Leap of Faith

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: You use Halloween as an excuse to tell Spencer how you feel.

Square Filled: costume party (2022) for @cmbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

You tighten your pigtails so that they sit high on your head. You turn to look at how good your ass looks in the short shorts you bought on Amazon. The fishnet stockings are itchy on your skin but you’re going to be too drunk to care in about an hour. Usually, you make sure your makeup is perfect before leaving the house but this time, you make sure it’s messy and smudges at the corners of your lips.

You’ve been invited to a Halloween party at Rossi’s place where everyone else is going to be. Your costume is a sexy Harley Quinn. She is one of your favorite superheroes and Margot Robbie does an amazing job at playing her. It’s cliche and cheesy to add “sexy” in front of a costume but this time, you wanted it to be like that. You have someone to impress and it’s not gonna happen if your costume isn’t sexy.

You even dyed your hair blonde so you can dye the ends pink and blue. It’s a decision you made knowing you were gonna love it even after Halloween was over. Your shirt says “Daddy’s Lil Monster” which ends right below your breasts. If you raise your arms, you’ll definitely show some underboob. Your entire midsection is showing since your shorts hang low on your hips. You don’t care who sees you like this since you’re pretty confident in your own skin whether you’re one hundred pounds or three hundred.

You blow yourself a kiss and leave the bedroom, making sure to grab your metal bat on the way to the living room where your best friend is. JJ and Will decided to dress up as Barbie and Ken from the new Barbie movie. You haven’t seen it yet but you know the scene where Barbie and Ken are rollerblading through the town in bright neon outfits.

“Ready?”

Will and JJ turn you when they hear you come in. Will immediately looks away from you while JJ whistles.

“Spencer is going to go feral when he sees you.”

“You think?” you grin.

“For sure.”

“I call shotgun!” you shout as you run toward the car.

“No, you had it last time!” Will runs after you.

JJ smiles at the dynamic between you and her husband. You two became fast friends which makes her happy. You’re her best friend and he’s her husband. It all works out in the end. She walks to the car to see you in the front seat with a smug smile while Will is pouting playfully in the back. The drive to Rossi’s house isn’t long since she lives close to him, and when you get there, you see Derek’s car. If he’s here, that means Spencer is. They do everything together. The only car you don’t see here is Hotch’s. It’s normal for him to be fashionably late for these kinds of events.

Penelope and Spencer must have volunteered to decorate Rossi’s place because this looks amazing. Rossi is not the one to go out and decorate to this degree. You three walk up to the door and knock, and Rossi opens it slowly. He’s a modern Dracula without the fangs. He hates the feeling of things on his teeth. The years he wore braces were the worst.

“Welcome. Nice costumes.”

You step inside and see Derek texting someone by the front door. He’s dressed as a cop because he waited until the last minute to put something together. He still had his old uniform from when he was a beat cop and decided to use that. When he hears people enter, he puts the phone away to mingle. He whistles when he sees you, and he brings you in for a friendly hug.

“Damn, Y/N. Who are you trying to impress?”

“You know who. Where is he?”

“In the kitchen. He booked it in there as soon as he heard there were cupcakes.”

You pat his shoulder as you walk away from them, dragging your bat behind you. Spencer is by the kitchen island eating a cupcake when you enter. Halloween is his favorite holiday because he loves decorating and dressing up. He’s dressed in a puffy white clown costume. His face is painted ghostly white to match the color of the costume with dramatic eyebrows drawn on and a painted red smile. Even he can make something so creepy look cute.

“You gonna save some for the rest of us?” you ask. Spencer looks up and starts choking as soon as he sees you in your costume. He grabs a water bottle and chugs half of it to get the food out of his throat. Once he’s calmed down, he rakes his eyes down your entire costume. “I’ll take that as a good sign.”

“Wow, you look great,” he stutters.

“Thank you. I love your costume.”

“I made this,” he smiles proudly.

“I know. This is all you’ve been talking about for the past couple of weeks.” Spencer grabs another cupcake and tears off the paper before taking a bite. Some of the frosting gets on his upper lip which he licks away, but there is still some left behind. This is it. This is your chance. You walk up to him and reach up to his face. “You got a little something.” You wipe his top lip with your thumb and place the pad of your thumb in your mouth. “Delicious.”

Spencer is staring at your mouth and thinking he’d love it if your lips were on his instead. You can see the lust in his eyes so you take the leap of faith.

“You got some more. Come here.”

You pull Spencer close and kiss him to take the frosting off that isn’t there. Spencer grips your hips and pulls you closer as he kisses you back.

“Wait,” you pull away from him, “is this okay?”

“More than.”

You two meet halfway and kiss some more, not caring if you have an audience by the entrance into the kitchen.

“She made the first move. All of you owe me ten bucks,” JJ grins.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[cyber333angel]

MARRIED!NANAMI KENTO & MARRIEDSECRETARY! READER

CAUTION ⚠️

This work contains: use of the word daddy, a itty bitty age gap, praise, exhibition, breeding kink

NOTE: (not too long) awaited nanami fic 😱 I didn’t like how I first wrote it so I scrapped it and started over but I really like how it turned out! enjoy 😉

you started working at the JJK firm at the ripe age of 20, hired by none other than nanami kento. your boss was very well known business man and being his secretary you had attended a lot of meetings to take notes, manage his schedule and answer the phone . you watched him walk into his large office every day, staring at him from the top of your laptop, you saw glimpses of how he stretched the grey suit with his muscular upper body. you developed a crush on nanami, thinking only of him at night whenever you touched yourself. remembering how deep his voice sounded, and what he would sound like if he talked you through taking the full length of his cock. quickly remembering where you were, you bit your lip and went back to work. kento knew you had a little crush on him, you being completely obvious with the staring he thought it was cute.

he got exhausted with not actually getting to know you, so he asked you to “schedule a dinner for the two of us for next saturday” , you flustered at the invitation “yes sir.” and told him you were looking forward to it. the date was sensational, the two of you learned so much about each other, what foods you both liked to the worst date you’ve ever had . dating him only went on for about two years , until nanami decided to ask you to marry him! it was a beautiful wedding all paid for by him, of course, it was everything you could dream of and more. after the wedding you never quit you job , in fact you kept working directly under your husband. abusing this new privilege, kento lost all professionalism, he would call you into his office over the smallest things just to make an excuse to see you. “what time do I have to arrive at the meeting tomorrow?” you roll your eyes at him because he knows this meeting was canceled days ago, he chuckles at your reaction “im just poking fun, come sit down.” you look at him and walk over to his chair, straddling his lap.

“you look so beautiful in this outfit, sweetheart.” you smile, “t’aw! thank you ken, but you saw me with it on before we left the house and you complimented me already.” you put both your hands on his cheeks to lean in for a quick kiss. “i know, i just want my pretty wife to know how much i love her pretty face.” still with biggest grin, your husband pulls you closer to him from your waist and indulges in a deeper, more passionate kiss . he presses his tongue into your mouth and you melt into his touch, quiet pants are muffled between the two of you. kento with his mouth still stuck to yours, clears his desk of paperwork and clutter. he manhandles you to sit on top of the desk “b-baby I don’t think I can stay quiet if we do it in your office..” ignoring you, nanami puts his hands up your skirt reaching and grabbing you stockings and panties together and bunching them together at the bottom of your heels. you knew kento didn’t get like this unless something was bothering him. only about 5 times surprisingly he had fucked you in his office, given it was at the end of the day and people had already left. this was a different situation. wanting to cheer him up, you stroke his hair “s’alright if you use me ken.” he lets his head fall into your hand and he sighs, “thank you baby. I had a bit of a rough morning.”

“lay back down for me.” you rest your head on the hard surface immediately after the demand, he lifts both of your legs up connected by the clothing scrunched up at the base of your feet. bending down- “sweetheart, i never get enough of the sight of this sweet pussy..” shying away at the compliment you squirm from him causing his hands to tighten the grip. opening his mouth, a wet glob slips from his tongue and onto your cunt. hitching at the contact, your husband takes his thumb and spreads the wad of spit across your folds. “mmm ken! please hurry up!” you plead, not satisfied with the urgency in which you ask for, sternly, “good girls take what they are given, calm down.” kento takes his two hands and puts them on the sides of your ass, he thrust two fingers into your cunt and starts lapping at your little clit, sucking on the little bud, two fingers pumping away at your hole gradually making you climax. “f-fuck daddy! that felt so good..” finishing on his face he warns you.

“we don’t use those words remember pretty girl?” you nod forgetting in the moment, you watch kento as he unbuckles his belt and pulls out his hardened cock. it stood tall, not too thick in girth but made up for it in length. “your gonna need to relax and breath for me alright?” understanding what he means you respond with a quick “mhm!” you take a deep breath in and feel him prodding at your entrance. breathing out kento places his hand on your pelvis, pulling his hips back a bit and then thrusting back fully inside you. you gasp with a heartened cry at the sudden fill of your cunt, you cry. “oh god!”

“good girl” he caresses your face “you take daddy’s dick so good..so fuckin good.” arching your back off the desk “mmph ken..your reaching me so d-deep!”

“oh i know, i knoww sweetheart, it feels good doesn’t it?” you respond with a loud cry, kento reminded of where the two of you are “baby-baby i need to listen t’me okay? you need to keep your voice down. I know you feel good but we aren’t the only people in this building.” embarrassed by the way you were acting you shrivel up “im s-sorry kento! il try to keep quiet!” your husband aspires you for the effort “thats my girl.”

you cover your mouth with one hand, trying to muffle your moans. the other hand on kento’s stomach, your weak attempt to slow him down. “let’s wrap this up hmm sweetie?” you nod quickly, he knows you tighten up and cum faster when you hear his voice so a series of praise leaves his lips to help you cum.

“you make daddy feel so good, yknow that right baby?”

“I know how bad you have wanted a baby, honey, il fill this pussy up and give you what you want, hmm? how does that sound?”

he fucks you hard but talks to you gently until you can’t take it anymore, creaming on his dick, you arch fully off the desk spasmming and gasping. he fills your stomach and you completely feel the load of a warm substance in your body. kento takes his fingers and pushes back any cum that leaked out, back into your destroyed hole. “augh!” you hiccup, not letting you catch your breath he grabs you off the desk he helps you stand, bending down to help you put your panties back on. gliding the fabric up your thighs and carful to leave his semen in place. kissing your stomach, the insides that he has just gotten finished messing up, he worked himself up to your head. “you better keep it warm and safe for me honey. I don’t want a single drop to slip out before we get home.” giving you a loving kiss, leaving you a little ditzy, you pat yourself off and looking for the papers you had originally walked in with. on your way out you hear him clear his throat, “yes and tell the other firm they will be expecting me tomorrow for that meeting.” looking at his computer in a serious voice, you giggle remembering the earlier excuse and close his door, sitting back at your front desk your met with some side eyes and lots of missed calls.

[kinnbig]

so, who is the most pathetic? big, vegas or kim?

obsessed with this question thank u anon i am going to have to approach this very scientifically and rate their patheticness levels with super incredibly objective patheticness points

Big -

pathetic:

in unrequited love with his boss +2

roasted by Kim for being in unrequited love with his boss +1

got demoted cause some random guy asked for his job +1

put in his place by Chan while trying to put the new guy in his place +1

not invited to the Hum Bar shenanigans +1

lectured on homophobia by a 'straight' guy (while gay) +1

fell off his motorbike and was real angy about it +1

"it's because of me. I couldn't help Khun Kinn" +2

looks like he's on the verge of tears 24/7 +1

sad little hair strand +1

literally died +5

not pathetic:

captain of the Tawan hate squad -2

mean girl swag -1

beat up that guy and was hot about it -1

picked up Porsche by his hair and was really hot about it -2

total: 11

Vegas -

pathetic:

psychosexually obsessed with his cousin +1

all the daddy issues +2

rejected by Porsche +1

tried to bring Porsche a rose but had to leave with it because his cousin woke up from his coma and pretended to be allergic +1

Tankhun smacked him with a tray that one time +1

kicked out of his own bathroom so his cousin could give the guy he was trying to seduce a handjob +3

Gun smacked that book out of his hand +1

got punched sooo many times +1

used his prisoner as a therapist +2

fell in love with said prisoner after one (1) free therapy session +1

the entire hedgehog saga +3

"shoot me!" +1

the entire failed coup +2

"here's how I win." ... *loses* +1

not pathetic:

cool motorbike -1

all the murder/torture -2

so so many cunty outfits -1

did actually get laid -1

ate ass on-screen -2

was probably fucking Ken (good for him) -1

was turned into swiss cheese and lived -1

total: 12

Kim -

pathetic:

actually has a murder board +1

said murder board is behind a giant photo of himself +1

conducts secret investigations instead of communicating with his brothers like a normal person +2

didn't even solve the mystery he was investigating +2

so incredibly emotionally unavailable +1

saw a kid with an entire wall full of his photographs and went "...I wonder if this guy really likes me? maybe I should make him write a love song to check" +1

is the cheek kiss girlie in the fuck nasty show +1

ghosted a child +3

emotionally defeated by a smiley face fried egg +1

on Chay's blocklist +1

led Chay on for an investigation, ghosted him, cried into his polaroids when Chay didn't take him back +2

tried to apologise to Chay by gifting him dead bodies and songs instead of using his words +1

not pathetic:

broke into a mafia boss' office -1

out mean girlied the mean girlie (was mean to Big) -1

is maybe a celebrity -1

the entire bar fight scene -3

total: 11

and there you have it! it's so very close, but Vegas is officially the most pathetic by one (1) patheticness point. i will not be taking constructive criticism at this time

more very scientific kinnporsche research

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

It takes a mob part 3

Part one 

previously

“This place is a dump Bill.”

“Hey! Excuse me if I wasn’t expecting company!”

Bill grimaced as he pushed a couple takeout boxes of the kitchen island. Renting alone was difficult enough; maybe he hasn’t swept or scrubbed in a while. He’s been busy, sue him!

The kid didn’t seem to mind, he was too busy chewing on a rabbit ear to complain.

Ken grimaced as he bounced the squirt,

“Forget company Bill, you got an entire war in your kitchen.”

“It you’re going to complain so much about it then lend a hand?”

“Oh no man, you forget. I’m holding Danny, this is an important job! Can’t have him crawling around here and picking up diseases. This is much more important than being your busboy.”

Bill raised a brow, watching as Marv snuck up behind Ken and scooping up the kid with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah? Looks like you’ve been relieved. Hop to it bus boy.”

“Marv!!”

“Didn’t want Danny to pick up your garbage attitude.”

Bill held back a groan as the two dumbasses started a game of keep away with the boy.

He was tired. What was supposed to be a quick beer on a night off has turned into a four am game of house.

The chaos paused when a whimper broke into the air.

“Look what you did Marv!”

“Me!? Ken you didn’t have to-“

The kid was fully bawling his eyes out and the two jackasses where too wrapped in their pissing match to notice.

Grabbing the boy from the two of them, Bill leveled the with a glare as he gently bounced the kid on his hip.

“He ain’t a toy you bozos! Be glad you didn’t drop him and crack his head open!”

Not breaking his glare Bill made his way to his couch and lowered himself to the cousins with a weary sigh,

“I’m cashing in the IOU’s. You two idiots get to clean the apartment.”

Bill raised his unoccupied hand at Ken’s sputtering,

“I’m not fucking finished numb nuts. You two are goin’ to clean and think about what you did. The tyke is barely old enough to raise his head! I don’t care if he’s a meta or not. The only reason he’s here and not at the Wayne foundation is because it’s safer with us than in the goddam system! The second that changes I’m not afraid to pack him up and take him there myself. Am I clear?”

Ken let out an annoyed “yes sir.”

Marv for his part looked properly chastised.

“Alright, now get.”

Letting out another sigh, Bill turned his attention to Danny.

“Let it out kid, just let it out.”

With a little bounce Bill brought his feet up and tried to get himself comfortable leaning against the arm rest.

‘The kid has a set of healthy lungs at least...’

“I’m really sorry you got to deal with a couple lugs like us. If it makes you feel any better, Kenny’s 19 and Marv has only handled older youngin’s before. There’s a learning curve.”

Bringing the squirming tot to his chest Bill began to run his palm up and down his back, mildly marveling at how much he could cover in one small swipe.

“Truth is, I’m probably no better. At least those two have excuses. If I fuck up don’t hold back on old Billy alright? Lord knows I can get my head up my ass at times.”

Danny let out a little hiccup as his crying petered out. Glancing down, Bill switched to rubbing a small circle with his thumb as the baby’s eyes began to droop.

‘Huh.. I thought his eyes were blue?’

Bill gave a mental shrug. It probably had something to do with his meta-abilities. God forbid if he drew the line in the sand over an eye color change.

The kid was fighting to stay awake; it was kind of adorable watching him try to keep his eyes open.

That being said a sleeping baby was easier to deal with than awake one.

‘Ok, think Bill, think. What would old man do?’

Glancing around, he made a face.

‘They won’t hear me over their own swearing...’

Clearing his throat, Bill hummed as he tried to recall some old words.

“Go to sleep you littl’ baby.. Go to sleep you littl’ baby. Your mama’s gone away and your daddy’s goin’ to stay.. Didn’t leave nobody but the baby..”

Bill kept humming as he tried to recall the next verse.

He hadn’t heard the song since he was a tyke himself, sue him.

He could almost feel the moment when the little man lost the war with sleep.

“Honey on a rock and sugar don’t stop.. gotta bring a bottle to the baby..”

Bill was pretty sure he got that lyric wrong, what Danzo didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

Bill kept humming as he listened to the sound of Gotham outside. The early bird would be just starting their commute by now.

Actually, why weren’t the numbskulls making any noise? If they think he was going to accept any half ass cleaning for two favors than they had quite a bitching to look forward to.

‘Not right now.’ Bill felt his humming slow down, ‘can’t risk waking the kid,’

He was aware he was joining Danny in Dreamland at this point; the fact of the matter is he been up for almost 24 hours and is supposed to go in tonight anyways.

He deserved some sleep after all this shit.

Gently laying his arm over Danny, he let his body relax as the first rays of dawn entered the apartment.

Hoodlums:

@reinluna,@confused-moose-child,@mimilikey,@emeraudesfateandfandoms, @dolfay, @boredomfarie, @aconitewolfsbane, @withoutcontxt, @onyxlightdragon, @satanicrutialspecialist, @phoenixdemonqueen, @vixen-uchiha, @skulld3mort-1fan, @bytheoldwillowtree, @illusionwolfwriter24r8, @thewondersoflebanon, @vipower001, @autumnwulf, @alice-hazelwood, @fisticuffsatapplebees, @f4nd0m-fun, @markus209, @latheevening226 @255940g, @dolfay, @basilf1res, @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair, @skirter01, @magnificence12, @bun-fish, @ascetic-orange @thegatorsgoose @sunflowershine03 @ladythugs @firegirl108 @glitchedchaos @rangerhorsetug, @freakofyournature, @mimilikey, @crazycatgirl420

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day One

So I know this has probably been overdone by lots of people on lots of years but I haven't done it yet and I want to so here goes: I'm going to rewatch get back with the days matched up and catalogue my thoughts as I watch.

We don't get to see George and John saying hi to each other, but I'm struck by how careful they are with Ringo when he comes in. "Hi Ringo, happy new year." From both of them, with full eye contact soft, sweet voices. I wonder if they're really wanting to be so gentle with him after what happened at the end of August. Not like walking on eggshells at all, but just very "we're working on doing better because we care about you."

While Paul's not there, John is giving George full attention, leaning in to him, facing him while they sing, and George seems to really love it

But then Paul shows up and you can tell before we even see him that he's arrived, because suddenly John's gaze is gone from George. His eyebrows shoot up, he chin-tilts, and (this sounds insane I know but it's what I just watched) his singing drastically improves. He's putting effort in, performing.

Paul sits down and the shy little grins and glances and inside jokes (at George's expense and hypocritical of John) ensue immediately.

Ringo's jacket. The black with the maroon velvet collar. It's very cool and it's very unique to him. I don't see the other three pulling it off the way he does. He just has effortless swagger. If the other three wore something like that they'd look like try-hards.

George's sassy little hair flip. "oh, you're recording our conversation?"

Meanwhile John and Paul are back at it like magnets I swear. Turned in to each other, talking gibberish, and strumming

George with the deadpan sass again. "Maybe we should just learn a few songs first." Lol he's so stone cold.

"Oh please believe me." "Yes I will." Come on. Do you ever stop? And then the silent communication when they screwed up. We don't see Paul's face but John makes such a cute "oops sorry" face and they keep going.

Paul's literally so bossy. I find it such a turn on, really, watching it. Just because it's him being a genius who has a vision and sucks at social skills. But if I were in that band and he wasn't letting me hit I'd literally hate him.

John's so delighted with Paul's "everybody's got a hard on... Except for me and my monkey." Because that's one of the ways he often expresses his love for Paul and Paul's giving it back to him here. So John's just "Oh he made a joke about my song. He's teasing me. He does like me."

Paul literally diggs John's part of IGAF so fucking hard though. Like as soon as John's singing, Paul can not be still. Can not. He just thinks John's so so clever (and to be fair he is)

Crazy eye fucking continues

Then Paul's off to talk big boy plans with the daddies for a minute. (would love to know who he waved at then sucked his finger) "Is this your place, Twickenham?" Okay. Feeling out a potential daddy's pockets. I see you.

Obsessed with Yoko's emerald bag and how she got her little boyfriend to wear the exact color of Henley. Ken was literally made to be Barbies accessory and he's doing such a great job matching her purse. She's so pretty and cool.

It cracks me up how extremely nonchalant Ringo is about Magic Christian. (I LOVE that movie. Ringo is so hot in it and it's anti-capitalist so it's a winner). Dennis O'Dell is all "the scripts are marvelous." And Ringo's just "yeah you told me." And then Dennis is like "I'll take up up and show you around these really great sets." Ringo: "yeah okay." It's almost like the other three have no chill so he has to have only chill to balance it out.

They really are so blunt with each other when they don't like something. "I don't dig that." "Scrap that." Which is good. If only they could've been blunt when they did like things too though. And I guess they were sometimes. Like John telling Paul to keep that lyric in Hey Jude. But I don't think they were half as open with their positive feelings about each other's work as they were the other way around and that's so sad to me.

Why does George single Paul out about the sandwiches? It's cute. I love it. But what is it? Is he particularly worried about Paul and food because Paul's picky? Is it just their relationship that they take care of each other in these simple ways because they can't take care of each other emotionally?

Fucking hell why does Paul literally flirt with everyone all the time? "No separation in there." "Rain or snow will do me." "Yeah, you're pretty right, Michael."

Pretty sure John was looking at the lyrics of TOU off that sheet that said "Another Quarrymen Original" at the bottom. I wonder what he thought of that. I wonder if it was there to signal him, and if so what was it signalling? "Hey this is about you."??

"Two of us Henry Cooper." Referencing a boxer in a song about him and John. Why? Because they're fighting?

[larphis]

Ed being the most feared pirate of the seven seas and going through a total mental breakdown which leads to three suicide attempts and the self discovery that he has daddy issues and hates himself, deep down realizing that his biggest fear is being unlovable

VS

Stede bribing Jackie to take the Swede as her new boytoy so that he and the crew can get a job but ultimately ending up screwed after a robbery goes wrong which in turn leads to him and the crew being sold to a pirate queen where his new job is simply called “Towels”, in which he blossoms by the way,

is literally the entire plot of the Barbie movie.

She’s Barbie, she’s everything

…he’s just Ken.

[neon-lights-and-glitter]

Trick Or Treat

Summary- You, Jack, and Urban take Paisley, Olive, and Hayden trick or treating.

Everyone was dressed and ready to go trick or treating. Olive in her Taylor Swift “Lover” costume that you and Jack managed to finish even though she changed her mind a couple of days before Halloween. Paisley was dressed in her butterfly fairy costume, a long dress with butterfly wings and a fairy wand. Hayden was even dressed up. Olive picked out Hayden’s costume for his first Halloween and she wanted him to dress up as Sadie, the family goldendoodle. You and Jack were even dressed up as Barbie and Ken. 

“Daddy, when is Uncle Urban going to be here?” Paisley asked, Urban was coming with you and Jack before he was going out to a party.

“In a couple minutes, then we’ll leave,” Jack said. You got Hayden comfortable in his stroller, surrounding him with a blanket in case he got cold later on. Hayden reached up to feel for the floppy ear that he was holding on to earlier. As soon as you stepped away to grab the Halloween baskets, he started crying, Jack was helping Paisley buckle her shoes.

“I got it,” Olive said, jumping up from the couch and going over to her little brother. She didn’t know what he wanted but as soon as she figured it out she moved the ear so he could grab it. As soon as he did, he stopped crying. “Mommy! I did it! I made him stop crying!” Olive said excitedly.

“Good job Liv, thank you for helping.”

“See, I told you you’d be a good big sister,” Jack said as he stood up.

“Yeah, I like being a big sister, I love Hayden,” Olive said as she played with the fur of his costume. Urban walked in the front door, the girls running to him.

“UNCLE URBAN!” They yelled, practically jumping on him.

“Hi, my favorite Harlow girls,” Urban said, picking up Paisley to hug her before picking up Olive to hug her. “Are you guys excited?” 

“Yeah! Look at my costume!” Paisley said, spinning around so her dress would flare.

“Woah, that’s so pretty! I love your costume too Olive!” Urban told them before saying hi to you and Jack and going over to see Hayden’s costume.

“Can we go now?” Paisley asked you and you nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Jack handed the girls their buckets and you put a bag in the bottom of Hayden’s stroller just in case their buckets got too heavy for them. You started pushing the stroller but Jack quickly took over. 

You all walked the neighborhood, the girls getting an amount of candy that would at least last 2 months. The girls both dumped their buckets into the bag you brought at least once. Hayden was even given a little candy even though he was too young to eat any. 

Towards the end of the night, Olive got tired of walking and you still had a couple blocks until you were home. You took over pushing Hayden, Jack carried Olive, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Urban carried her bucket while walking with Paisley. You stopped at a couple more houses before making it back to your own. 

As soon as you got home, Urban left to go to his party and Olive got a sudden burst of energy at the thought of getting to eat some of her candy. Jack got Hayden changed and mostly ready for bed before sitting on the couch to feed him a bottle. 

Paisley and Olive sat on the ground, dumping all of their candy out onto the floor.

“Can I have the M&M’s?” Olive asked Paisley.

“As long as I can have the Skittles,” Paisley said and Olive nodded.

“Okay,” she nodded.

They sorted all of their candy evenly except for the Skittles, M&M’s, and Resse’s cups which Olive hated but Paisley loved so Paisley gave Olive some of her Kit Kat’s for them.

Of course, the girls ate way too much candy and had a sugar rush all night, but that was part of the fun of Halloween.

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv @middlechild404 @hufflewhore128

[severeaesthetic]

In another life

@wttcsms banner credit

I am so sorry in advance

⚠️Angst, Death, mentions of violence, suicide⚠️

Nanami Kento is a very serious man. He was serious in his job as a salaryman was serious in the four years he did it full time. He is serious about his wife and his daughter and son on the way. Now though, he has more pressure as a jujutsu sorcerer and teacher at Jujutsu high. He doesn't get to spend as much time as he would like with, you, his heavily pregnant wife and two year old daughter Kurotori. He has a picture on his desk from when you moved to your new country home in a tiny village not far from Jujutsu High. He looked forward to coming home to his girls every day.

After leaving the school after another draining day, he was excited when he saw Kuro in the window waiting on him. As soon as he parked and got out of his car Kuro took off towards him, screaming at the top of her lungs "papa home! papa home! papa home!" Ken dropped his briefcase and immediately picked her up and smothered her in kisses causing her to giggle at the feeling of his stubble tickling her.

He was a man who loved his routine. He loved parking his car and picking up his daughter who always ran outside to be the first to greet him before you could. She was a daddy's girl through and through. He loved you though, just as much. He loved you waiting for him at the door with a kiss and when your daughter would push you away cause "das my papa mama!" and you can't kiss him until he Ken tickles her and calls her a brat(playfully) for not letting you kiss him. Dinner changes every other day depending on leftovers. He always looked forward to eating the delicious food you made, and getting your daughter stripped and in her high chair ready to make a mess with whatever it was.

Most parents find being with their child and doing little tasks tedious and annoying. But not him. He loves being home early enough to spend time with Kuro before she goes to bed. He does bath time every night, unless he has to work late (which is very rarely does, that was his one rule when going back to sorcery). He enjoys rolling up his sleeves and playing with the bubbles and bath toys and spending as much time as he can with these little moments. Both of you have to get Kuro ready for bed. One of you does the diaper and the other gets her dressed. Then, her night time routine. Her cup of milk and snuggled in her big girl bed between you and Ken and one of the many books she has. Her favorite series is Skippyjon Jones, so those books are read over and over again, but Ken doesn't care. He loves seeing the way her eyes light up at the silly cat and the very cute way she repeats certain words and phrases like a parrot.

After getting her to bed, it's big people time. This is the time where you both clean up and put away dinner and do the dishes. Soft music playing in the background and glasses of wine for the bu both of you. After the dishes are done the two of you dance in the dim light of the kitchen having a moment to be with each other in a way that isn't sexual. After cleaning up, you two head to the bath or shower with soothing lavender candles. Most of the time it leads to passionate love making, neither of you in a rush and just being together in the moment. Your night time routine is pretty much intertwined, you do yours and his skincare, brush your teeth, rub lotion on each other, Ken is always the one to rub your baby bump with lotion, he talks to it and tries to feel the baby kicking. Massages are a must, his shoulders kill him and your lower back and hips is typically what kills you with the baby on the way.

He loves his routine and wouldn't change it for a thing. So when his routine gets interrupted by whatever the case may be pissed is an understatement. Not at you or Kuro, never at you two. Working late is usually what pisses him off to no end. But this time it was important. Curses everywhere, wiping out all the sorcerers. He knew you and Kuro would be safe away from the city thank God. There was so much damage to the city and the innocent people by the major attack. He was hurt badly, so even though he knew you were up waiting for him he stayed at the school and got his wounds tended to before coming home.

"Mr. Nanami? Mr. Nanami?" He was confused, at first he thought it was your voice but you never called him that. It was a mans voice. All of a sudden everything isn't blurry anymore. The police tape on his front door, red and blue lights illuminating everything. Including the three bodies under sheets being put back into the coroner vans. He was sitting in the back of an ambulance with a shock blanket, barely registering that an officer was telling him he would have to identify the bodies.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today..." Ken zoned out after that. He was sitting in the front pew of the church with all the staff from Jujutsu High. All he could focus on was the three pictures. You, Kuro, and your baby boy who didn't have time to live. He knew that your daughter would've wanted pink and glittery, so he fulfilled her request. Matte black for you and a powder blue matte for your son. He knew how much his girls loved flowers so he spared no expense and the whole church was an array of flowers in different colors and species even if it wasn't the right season.

Empty. That doesn't even describe it. There is nothing to describe the hole that is his heart. He has tried to go on about his routine as best he can. But the ultimate interruption has driven him mad. He has no more tears to cry. He sleeps with your clothes and Kuro's favorite blanket and stuffed teddy bear because it smells like you both still. He goes to work and stares at that picture on his desk. He goes through the motions of his daily routine.

Sitting at his desk, he was watching your wedding video. One thing you said in your vows stuck out to him though.

"I found you in this life, and I promise to find you in every other life after this one." Both of you were crying and looking absolutely stunning in your dress and his suit.

In another life. You said you would find him. He said he would find you. So it's okay that he wants to leave so much to be with you and his kids. He has thought about it a lot since that day. It is so tempting. He hasn't been eating as much. Again, it's his planning period, so he is alone in the classroom. He planned it all out. Something quick and painless, he would simply go to sleep in his chair.

The needle in his neck hurt like hell, so did the liquid going in. He leaned back in his chair and got comfortable staring at the ceiling. His vision started going blurry before he saw everything clear as day. It was his normal routine. He got out of the car in the driveway, Kuro was running to greet him after seeing him in the window. He picked her up and smothered her in kisses. He saw you, standing on the porch holding your new son waiting to give him his kiss.

In another life, you and your children were brutally murdered by curses. This life though, this life is perfect and he wouldn't change a damn thing.

[trashbag-baby666]

Time, Precious Time-Clegan

Summary: Johns having a hard time coming to terms that his oldest is growing up. (A teaser for my new au)!!! Likes and reblogs highly appreciated!!!

WC: 985

C/W: tooth rotting fluff!

MOTA Masterlist!

Gale shielded his eyes from the hot, June sun. A small smile creeping onto his cheeks seeing the sight of John carrying Flynn on his hip. John, still in his blue firehouse shirt and matching blue pants. His small badge glimmering in the sun, Flynn still in her T-Ball uniform.

It had been a divide and conquer day for the Clevens, they hated when both the girls had games on the same day with overlapping times. Gale took Cordelia to her softball game and John took Flynn to her t-ball game.

“Hi daddy!” Flynn waved practically jumping out of John’s grasp.

“Hey Peanut.” Gale smiled, holding his arms out for the mini John Egan running up the bleachers.

“Uncle Kenny too!?” The seven year old buzzed at the site of the man with the dirty blonde curls.

“How was your game?” Ken asked, Flynn taking a seat next to him.

“What’s the score?” John kissed Gales cheek sitting down next to him.

“Four to five. Neck and neck. Oh just in time.” Gale watched Cordelia come out of the dugout, her bat in hand and her long blonde braid hanging out the back of the helmet.

“You got this Delia! Give ‘em a good dinger!” John cheered, sitting forward resting his elbows on his knees. Gale smirked seeing a glance of Cordelia shooting John a glare. She was 13 and was no longer impressed by John's devotion to the sport.

“She got that look from you,” John knocked his knee into Gales. Even if she was adopted you couldn’t deny she had the Cleven look to her.

“Me?”

“Yeah, everytime the games on when you get home.” John stifled a laugh, “She’s nervous.”

“I know, she was pacing in the dugout last inning.”

“Strike one!” The umpire called as the ball came in fast and Cordelia swung at it, missing.

“Shake it off, Delia! You got this, go down swingin’ if you gotta!” John took his backseat coaching very seriously, which never failed to turn some eyes from other parents. “She’s got that Egan in her, won’t go down without a fight.”

Gale knew that, he knew how hard both of their kids worked for something they wanted. Cordelia had been spending her evenings in the backyard either hitting softballs off a tee or letting Curt or John pitch them to her.

“She tipped a ball to second last time she batted, but they got her at first.”

“Dang, I know she's got this, I can feel it.” John nearly jumped out of his skin as the ding of the bat sounded and Cordelia sent the ball flying into the outfield taking off for first base.

“There ya go! That’s my girl!” John jumped up cheering as Cordelia slid into third and the umpire called safe. Curt high fived her, he always coached third base.

“She's got your swing.” Gale massaged his shoulder, the five o’clock sun kissing John's face. His sun freckles were starting to become more prominent across the bridge of his nose.

“She actually came to me asking for advice on her swing!”

“I saw you guys working on it again last night. Oh and she's got your speed,” Gale pointed as the next girl hit the ball and Cordelia took off for home plate.

“Ayyyy!” John jumped up as she ran across home plate and the other girl got to first, “Five to five!”

—--------

Gale yawned as he checked his watch, “It’s almost bedtime, Peanut. Why don’t you go upstairs and start getting ready for bed.”

“Okay, don’t be late for story time.” Flynn got up from where she had been snuggled into Gale.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I’ll meet you upstairs. I'm gonna let the dogs out.” John kissed Gale's cheek, “Come on guys.” John got up with the big Great Dane and the little chihuahua following after him.

John let the dogs out and went into the kitchen grabbing a cup from the cupboard, “Hey, kiddo.” John hummed, glancing over at Cordelia as she came in.

“Can we talk after you guys read to Flynn?”

“Yeah, me and you or dad too?”

“Just us.”

“Okay, good job today, by the way.”

“Thanks, papa.”

John had tucked in Flynn and Chili and Scooby had gone off to bed with Gale. John came down the hall and knocked on Cordelia’s cracked open door.

“Come in,”

“Do you still wanna talk?”

“Yeah.”

John grabbed her desk chair and brought it over to the bed. Their cat, Moose jumped onto his lap the moment he was sat. “What’s up?”

“Well first I just wanted to say thank you for practicing with me. I’m still a little giddy over that hit. But I actually wanted to ask if we could talk about your uh…uhm comments at the game…?” Cordelia took her hair out of the clip and ran a hand through it nervously.

“Oh, do you want me to stop?” John felt his heart fall but he understood the whole being 13 and thinking your parents are lame thing.

“Yeah, I love you but it’s a little embarrassing sometimes. I asked Curt if he could talk to you but he said it would be better if I did it.”

John let out a sigh, “Uncle Curt is smarter than I remember.”

Cordelia let out a small chuckle, “No hard feelings Papa?”

“No hard feelings, love you kiddo.”

“Love you too.”

“She’s growing up too fast,” John shook his head, shutting the door behind him, “She asked me to keep my cheering more casual.”

“It’s okay we have a few more years with Flynn before she thinks we’re lame.” Gale peaked over his glasses to look at John.

“Flynn’s not allowed to grow up. I already told her that.” John flopped down on the bed next to Gale.

“I think we should stay at this age forever then too.”

“We’re gonna be vampires?”

“Totally.”

[biblionerd07]

No amount of character assassination in the later seasons could ever be enough to make me hate Danny Castellano. It will never work because I KNOW that isn’t you, my short king. How could I stop loving the red magnetic reading glasses? The Secret Santa dance? The dorky way he got so excited about the bomber jacket? How nervous he was for his driving test? The strip tease to American Woman? The way his legs dangle when he sits on the countertop with flowers? His sad, lonely piano playing? The way he raised his little brother and supports his entire family? How he apologized for being too harsh about Mindy being late and admitted it was due to his daddy issues? The tailor-made workout plan full of celebrity scenarios? Reading Bridget Jones’s Diary in a terrible British accent? Writing out a list of all his secrets to tell Mindy to prove he trusts her? His fear of the ocean out of respect? His old man rants about not turning on the heat when you could just put on a sweater and do some pushups? The plane kiss??? His exercise addiction as his only mental health coping strategy? The gingerbread houses every Christmas? His love of Ken Burns? His lil beanie when he’s going to the gym? The way he found out about his half-sister and immediately agreed to go to her soccer game? His attempts to make interpersonal chitchat with varying degrees of success? The way he broke his no lying rule to get Mindy out of hot water and did a TERRIBLE job? His nervous sweats? His love of sandwiches, even at parties at other people’s houses? His loyalty to the people he loves? THEY TURNED YOUR GRUMPINESS INTO AN UGLY, BITTER, ABUSIVE THING BUT I SAW ALL THAT GROWTH FOR THREE SEASONS AND I KNOW BETTER, MY BELOVED!!!

[randomtvpollsjp]

Anybody who walks out of the theater and says, “Barbie  is anti-men” lacks media analysis skills. So let’s do a what I thought no one would have to do for this film—an unnecessarily deep dive. But it seemingly needs to get done for this crowd.

Shall we?

(And spoilers)

In Barbieland, men are seen as nothing but accessories to all of the exceptional women. Even the least exceptional woman—Stereotypical Barbie—is more exceptional than the average Ken.

(The exceptional Kens like Sugar Daddy Ken and Earring Magic Ken as well as Allan are othered within the hierarchy of Barbieland, a clear allegory for non-conforming/queer men. Even Weird Barbie is othered by the Barbies for her non-conformity but at least has a house)

Contrast Barbieland with the (still surreal) Real World, where the gender roles are often reversed.

In the lead up to the 2016 US Presidential election, for example, there were still people saying that they couldn’t vote for a woman.

That was it. Not her policies. A woman.

The film goes out of its way to prove that Ken—despite being cis/White/straight and male—cannot get EVERYTHING he wants without qualifications and experience. But he DOES get a basic level of respect that he never got in Barbieland from Barbies and the power structure they benefit from.

At one point, the film has a line where a man says, “I’m a man without power. Am I a woman?”

In the film’s Real World (and ours), women often struggle to get power. And so do men! But women face social barriers that men simply do not.

Meanwhile, despite being “everything”, in the Real World, Barbie’s a sexual object to men and almost immediately assaulted; and vilified by girls/women for setting unrealistic body standards. And is torn to shreds by Sasha, the girl she thought she had to help.

Ken takes patriarchy back to Barbieland and the Barbies—unable to conceive of a world like the film’s version of the Real World—basically short-circuit. The Kens, meanwhile, having always been second-class citizens, relish in the new idea and hierarchy.

But, as the film establishes, Kens don’t have an education or qualifications. They can’t even build a wall right because they weren’t conceptualized to be useful/given the tools to be.

Ken’s job was literally Beach.

They’d have actually destroyed Barbieland.

Similarly, nobody is saying you should just appoint women in our world into positions of power, just to appoint them. But we ARE saying that there are qualified women who deserve to be in places that they aren’t because they’re not men.

And that’s wrong.

By the end of the film, Barbie realizes that she actually owes Ken an apology. Yes, Ken tried to overthrow the Barbies. But Ken was reacting to Barbie’s rejection in a toxic—yeah, I said it—way.

And reacting to their society too, even if he doesn’t really know it.

The Kens had a point. The Barbies HAD mistreated them. Barbie didn’t even know where Kens lived in Barbieland, after all.

And to not acknowledge their point is to also not acknowledge the real world point that women are often mistreated in our world just for being women.

I’ve seen some people brandishing stats about how women USED to be marginalized. But now they aren’t. And can do anything. And earn just as much as men.

And yet, Forbes reports that only 10% of Fortune 500 companies have female CEO’s.

Anyway, so the film ends with Barbie telling Ken that he needs to define himself independently of being with Barbie. Which is analogous to how women in the workforce and getting educated/qualified in our world, allows them to be financially independent of men.

In Barbieland, Barbies have always been autonomous and allowed to be independent of men. And have flourished. And President Barbie promises to allow Kens to take part in the running of their shared society. Because everybody deserves to be seen and heard.

There are valid criticisms to be made about this film ranging from how its feminism lacks intersectionality; to how Mattel’s own workers in developing nations are often underpaid and overworked; to consumerism being the main tool of empowerment that Barbie (the toy) endorses.

But it’s one film and I understand that it can’t address EVERYTHING. It chose to stick with gender broadly.

And I think it successfully lands that point.