#this one goes out to all the fuckers who follow me and have absolutely no reblogs

[ilexdiapason]

YOU. NEW FOLLOWER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT NOT REBLOGGING ANYTHING EVER IS NOT HOW TUMBLR WORKS

[mrsaltieri-real]

Ethan Landry as a Boyfriend Headcanons (SFW AND NSFW)

I was bored so rewatched Scream 6 and these just popped into my mind, hope you enjoy!

Warning/s: 18+, Fem!AFAB!Girlfriend, language, mentions of smut, oral, p in v, riding, sub!Ethan, begging, mentions of orgasm denial, degrading kink, praise kink, sweet and soft Ethan, you get the picture

Word count: approx 600

SFW

Very, very clingy. Feels completely out of touch when he’s not around you. The boy will follow you around like a little lost puppy

Big on physical contact. He likes to always be holding your hand or have your arm tucked into his

Yah, he’s touch starved

He’s literally obsessed with you.

Like, to the point where it’s probably concerning to those around you

He’s a shy little bastard though

Gets overstimulated in large groups of people so will absolutely cling to you for dear life in malls

But he really likes going shopping with you and helping you pick out clothes

He absolutely LOVES when you play with his hair

He’ll lie with his head on your lap for hours just relishing in the feeling of your fingers running through his curls

Likes to fall asleep with you in his arms, or the other way round depending

He’s a big spoon little spoon switch for REAL

He blushes every time you pay him a compliment

“You look really nice today, baby”

INSTANTLY RED. How cute is he?

Bless his heart, he’s not a good cook at all so you’re the one who ends up doing the cooking

But he’ll try his best to help until you have to kick him out of the kitchen for somehow burning water

But he’ll sit at the table and watch you cook away with a big old smile on his face

Doesn’t really use pet names himself, but loves it when you call him “baby,” “babe,” and “honey.”

His love languages are quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation

He could sit and listen to you talk about your day forever

He’s the best to gossip with

“And then he told her to fuck off!”

“Shut up, no he didn’t? What happened next??“

Such a good boyfriend, right?

NSFW

He’s a needy little fucker

Like HONESTLY so fucking needy

Such a sub it’s not even funny

Two words: PUSSY WORSHIP

He’ll literally be begging to eat you out until you cum

Over and over again

Will always want to make sure you’ve had at least a couple of orgasms before he even gets his cock out

LOVES when you fuck his face, I don’t make the rules

Absolute master of eating pussy

Guys got the kind of mouth invented for going down

Loves messily sucking on your clit and getting your juices all over his face

He’s such a slut for you, he’d go out of his way to make you feel good

Don’t ask me why, but he’s a thigh and tits kinda guy and pussy obviously

He likes when you’re on top when having sex, completely dominating and taking full control

He himself doesn’t have a dominant bone in his body

Begs really prettily

He absolutely 100% whimpers

He’s so fucking vocal

Likes when you pull his hair when you’re fucking him

Really riles him up

Won’t say it, but loves to be denied of release

Actively wants you to deny him so that when you grant him permission, the satisfaction is just oh so much better

Again, won’t say it but he loves when you’re blowing him and after he already cums you keep sucking

THAT kind of over stimulation? He likes

He’ll be sobbing, saying “thank you, thank you” over and over again when you let him cum

Likes when you look into his eyes while blowing him too. Does all kinds of things to him

Goes absolutely wild when you praise him

He’s playing with your clit just right?

“You’re such a good boy, baby.”

He’d be trying not to bust then and there

He also loves being degraded

Call him pathetic and needy and he’ll be a whimpering mess, almost sobbing from your words and especially if you’re overstimulating him

But balance out the praise and degradation

He’s a very sensitive guy in more ways than one

When you’re riding him he’ll be gazing up at you, hands on your hips watching your tits bouncing and just feel like he’s in heaven

Loves loves loves when you touch yourself in front of him

Really enjoys lazy, early morning sex

But loves long sessions in the afternoon even more

As I said, deny him and he’ll last as long as he can

Don’t deny him? Baby will cum just from eating you out alone he fucking loves it

What can I say? He’d do anything that brings you pleasure. He’s just that kinda guy

[leonfucker3000]

under the mistletoe

married!Leon S Kennedy x engaged!fem!reader

Warnings: 16+, cheating, sex with feelings, vaginal sex, oral sex (f receiving),bathroom sex, mirror sex, modern au but not really because I know their dumbasses don’t have enough friends for a Christmas party, reader has morals until she doesn’t

wc: 2.5k

Yap: I wrote this last year for smutmas LMFAO, posting it here so I’m not forgotten, IM WORKING ON STUFF I SWEAR !! The ending is rushed and bad, and Leon says some corny fucking shit

not proofread, sorry chat

Arm-in-arm with Chris, you make your way up the snowy steps of the brown-bricked house. From the front patio, you could hear the faint sounds of Christmas music and bottles popping.

“I thought you said this was gonna be small.” a faint murmur comes from your lips, disappointment clear in your face from the lie your fiancé told you to get you here. You told him before you weren’t interested in anything noisy or busy or crowded , even told him to visit his friends alone and that you’d be fine waiting for him to get back.

“That’s what they told me too, we can head back—”

“It’s fine. Not gonna keep you from your friends.” Just don’t expect me to be social, you want to add on, but don’t due to the small smile on his face. He’s sweet. Ignorant, but sweet. In his own way, you suppose. 

You’re hit with overpowering peppermint and alcohol scent when you walk through the door, christmas spirit aside, the inside looks nice. Warm, inviting, homey, where you should be with Chris but he’s – he presses a kiss to your forehead, muttering a small I’ll be back as he goes to find his buddies – gone. 

A price to pay for future happiness.

⋆⋅•⋅⊰∙∘⋆ ❆ ⋆∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋆

You try to distract yourself, pleasantries to mutual friends and others you definitely (do not) remember. If you had more sleep the night before, maybe you’d be up for drinks and dancing and actual conversation rather than this. Whatever this is. “Don’t look too happy to be here either.” A gruff voice from behind you snaps you out of your trance. 

“Weren’t you the one that invited us, Leon?” You click your tongue as you turn around to face him, he looks tired but prettily so. Fucker.  

He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, “Not one for these, thought you knew me better. Just thought that I’d enjoy it more with people…” he looks you up and down for a fleeting moment, “...like me.”

“Like you in what sense? Alcoholic or asshole?” 

“Both, either, neither. Just wanted to see some friends, that’s all.”

You hum and motion with your head, “Chris is over there. Not here.”

“I know.”

The both of you are silent, no matter what you say, you’re sure Leon has a counter. A quip, a joke, something that’s definitely going to get the both of you in trouble. “Guess we’re going with Alcoholic You, then. Drinks?”

“And you say we’re not friends. Let’s go.” He says with a hand sliding to the small of your back, resting right above your ass – too close, too risky for a married man and an engaged woman, too stupid. You bite your tongue and let him lead you to the host’s makeshift bar, saying anything is a reaction and a reaction is what he wants, at least you assume so.

“We’re not. You know this, I know this, maybe even God if we dig deep enough.”

“Okay, well, it’s not that deep so let’s just have a nice night as friends, yeah?”

A sigh leaves you for the nth time that night, “Sure.”

Moving through the seemingly never-ending crowd of drunk couples, you’re soon to realize your mistake of keeping quiet when he stops and looks up, then back at you. Eyebrows furrowed and mood shifted, you follow his eyes up and – “Absolutely not.” a fucking mistletoe. You saw other people under the mistletoe who were most definitely in committed relationships kiss others but that’s not you . You thought it wasn’t him either from the way he looked at Ada. Another terrible assumption.

Leon scoffs and rolls his eyes, “It’s tradition. ‘S just a kiss, doesn’t need to mean anything.”

“It wouldn’t mean anything if we were both single, but we’re very much fucking not, so–”

“No one’s looking, just us. Chris won’t mind, Ada…won’t either.” A weak excuse, both the mistletoe and his pathetic they don’t need to know . “Friends kiss.”

“Right, you mean unmarried ones. On the cheek. Platonically.”

“Will you just–” He groans as he cups your face in his hands and pulls you to meet his lips, sloppily and messily kissing you and licking the seam of your lips. You stumble and he pushes you against the kitchen archway, guests too unbothered to realize what’s going on in front of them. For a moment, you kiss back, hands tugging on his hair – girlfriend, fiancée, wife – you pull away with a sharp gasp, heavy worry and guilt.  

Now you really need that fucking drink.

You blink up at him, “Wish I could’ve done more.” He speaks, fighting himself for being weak but also not regretting a thing because it’s you and he definitely wants you. “Looking real pretty tonight and Chris is an idiot for leaving his soon-to-be-wife alone. So really, this is his fault.”

“You’re fucking crazy.” 

“For you.”

You hate him for going against your wishes, hate him for making a joke about it, hate the fact that despite everything, you liked it . Whore, Slut, Hoe, all of the above and definitely not the loyal fiancée you promised you’d be. “This can’t–can’t happen again.”

“Right.” He whispers, soft and hushed, had you not known any better, you might’ve thought he was sorry.

You turn to leave and avoid him for the rest of the night, suddenly feeling confident enough to be social after all to get your mind off what the fuck just happened. But nothing works. Not drinks or jokes or even Chris himself. Ironically, he points out the mistletoe and drags you under it to kiss you. 

It’s firm, possessive and used to make you feel giddy but all you feel right now is unadulterated shame. All that’s swirling through your mind isn’t the loops of red and green christmas streamers and tinsel – it’s Leon. You two didn’t even talk much, don’t know how you caught his eye or why he’d want you when he has a pretty wife of 2 years with him.

You pull away and Chris gives you another quick peck, “Know you don’t like stuff like this, I appreciate it, really.” he whispers, and you feel like a bitch again. He’s so – he’s too good for you. “When we get back, ‘ll make sure to make it up to you.” 

You smile, all weary and shy, too bad while he’s fucking you, you’ll be imagining someone else. “Can’t wait.” Before you can even be pulled away by Chris again, a hand slides up your back and another on Chris’ shoulder. 

Fuck fuck fuck. Someone saw you and is going to tell Chris. Say goodbye to stability and long-lasted love and–  

“Get a room, will you?” Leon says as he pats Chris’ shoulder, a little more forceful than needed, but if Chris noticed, he didn’t let it show. “Had Ada rolling her eyes at the two of you more than usual. A new record.”

You force a tight smile while Chris is at ease, “Of course you two have the most shit to say.” he chuckles.

“Mhm, yeah, so, mind if I borrow you for a minute?” Leon’s hand falls from Chris’ shoulder as he looks at you.

“Um.” Chris was a patient man, really was, but if you’re uncomfortable, he’s uncomfortable, and right now–

“Sure, just make it quick.” You mutter, glancing at Chris with a nervous smile, “I’ll be back.” 

⋆⋅•⋅⊰∙∘⋆ ❆ ⋆∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋆

How you ended up in a half-bathroom with Leon, perched up onto the sink counter with your legs wrapped around his waist will always be beyond you. He kissed you like he did before, almost holding no rhythm as he did it like it’d be the last time. “Fucking–” he groaned, “beautiful.” He pulled away briefly to press wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and shoulder. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

“Shouldn’t be admitting that, it's– oh –not okay.” It’s definitely not okay that you’re here with him, and it’s definitely not okay that him biting you is enough to make you shudder. How the fuck are you going to explain this to Chris? Leon bit me to test out my skin durability? 

“I know, just can’t help it when it’s you. Sweet girl, always on my mind.” He tried, really did. Tried being happy when Chris introduced you, tried ignoring how sweet you looked, tried ignoring you and the image of eating you out that kept him warm on many lonely nights. Couldn’t even do it with Ada without your face popping up in his head when he came. “Would ask if you thought of me, too, but I guess we both know the answer to that.” 

He knew, knew that as much as he wanted you, up until now it was Chris. The hopeful part of him convinces himself you just buried it deep down like him and that’s why he can finally be between your pretty legs, pressed up against your pretty body and soon enough, pretty pussy. You make him feel dizzy.

“Leon–” 

“Yeah, just keep sayin’ my name and that’ll make it better.” He kisses you for good measure, thinks that if you say anything other than his name or oh god, he’ll lose it. You tug on his hair again and he groans, “Let me eat you out, needa give that pretty pussy just as much kisses.”

He doesn’t give you time to retaliate or even think about what he said before pushing your dress up and dropping to his knees, kissing up your thighs and removing your panties. He makes sure to put your legs over his shoulders, tongue delving right onto your pussy. Your fingers latch onto his hair and he gives you a muffled groan.

Your plush thighs push against his face and, fuck, it’s better than anything he’s ever had, he won’t need alcohol after this because you’re just as addicting, if not more, as he drinks in your pussy like he’s parched. “ Fuckk ,” he groans into you, all muffled and slurred “ tastes so fucking good.” 

Your legs are shaking and thank-fucking-god you’re sitting on the sink counter, music blasts from outside as you pant and moan while his tongue flicks with fucking talent. His mouth makes you feel dizzy, even more so when he plunges two fingers inside your cunt, his eyebrows furrow when you pull particularly hard – heaven is what he thinks.

He concentrates his lips and tongue on your clit as you rock against his face, “ Leon,” you gasp, nearly crying out above him and yes, his imagination didn’t do you any justice because his name falling from your lips is a wet dream. 

He taps your thigh, voice all hoarse and strained, “Gotta keep quiet, can’t have them seeing you like this – this is for me .” He’s so hard it hurts but he’ll endure anything just so you’ll come on his fingers and tongue.

You whine, biting your lip to keep in your sounds and he feels your body trembling , the pressure of his tongue was insistent and your body twitched when his fingers aligned with the rhythm of his tongue, “oh fuck, oh fuckfuckfuck,’ you cover your mouth as you let out a muffled cry, legs wrapping around his head so tight he can barely breathe but holy shit does he not care.

You come, blissed out and shaking – he thinks you’re pretty. He’s an idiot for this, he really doesn’t care. 

He presses a small kiss to your thigh, getting up off his knees as his thumb rubs small circles on your skin, “You okay?” he whispers, mouth sore and dick straining against his pants makes his voice low. 

“Mmhmm,” you reply dumbly and slurred, “never better.”

He feels pride swell up in his chest when you say that, he made you feel good – better than Chris keeps replaying in his mind. “Not done with you yet, can you stand?”

“Maybe in 5 minutes.” He doesn’t have 5 minutes, you don't have 5 minutes – he needs it now. He helps you off the counter and pushes you forward, bending you over the sink. You faintly hear the sound of fabric and metal before feeling him slide between your folds and nudge against your entrance. “Leon–”

“Need it, honey. Gonna give it to me, yeah?”

Fuck it, you’ve made it this far. “Yeah.” you say breathlessly. 

You can’t mutter out another word when he doesn’t wait a second more to slide into you, his nails dimpling spots on your hips when he grips tighter. You cry out when he pulls out and shoves himself to the hilt, his left hand covering your mouth, “ Quiet.” he hisses, groaning when he snaps his hips again, not stopping until his rhythm is relentless. 

Whines and moans are faded against his hand, he’s panting and groaning against your ear, “Feels –fuckk – so much fucking better than I imagined.” he pulls his hand and your head back a little so you’re looking in the mirror. Fuck explaining a bite mark to Chris – you’re a mess. Sweat dripping from your forehead and eyes glossy as you look blissed out and absolutely fucked . “See that?” he shudders, “That’s us, you don’t take your fucking eyes off it.” 

You nod quickly against his hand as the room fills with the sound of skin against skin and choked back moans and panting. Your eyelids feel heavy as you look in the mirror, Leon’s face is flushed and his hair is wet with sweat as he fucks you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. 

He watches your face as you take all of him, all pretty and teary-eyed, you’ve ruined him for everyone else. “I'm gonna come again,” your voice is faint against his hand, barely able to even get out any words because he has you teetering on the edge as his balls slap against your clit. You feel yourself tightening around his cock and his hips stutter.

“Shit–that right?” You nod eagerly as you keep your eyes on him, “atta girl, ‘m gonna get at least 3 out of you.”

“I c’nt–” 

“Yes you can,” he slurs, “for me, you fucking can.”

Your walls clamp down on him hard, spasming from your second orgasm, and he moans. He bites his lip as he pulls out, warm come spurting on your ass as he holds onto the counter in front of you for balance, chest pressed against your back. ‘ Fuck. ” he moans.

Your eyelids flutter when he licks his lips and presses a small kiss onto your shoulder. “Jesus Christ, leon. I dunno if I can…do another.” you pant.

“Don’t have a choice, honey, just need you ontop of me.”

You open your mouth to speak but a sharp knock hits against the bathroom door, “Can you hurry the fuck up? I gotta piss n – oh okay.” footsteps retreat and you look at Leon, huffing out a small laugh.

“Gonna have to wait.”

“A real shame.’

You straighten yourself on shaky legs and look in the mirror, “oh my fucking–”

“I’ll get you an Uber and tell Chris you started feeling sick.” he offers. Right. Chris. Fiancé, love of your life Chris. Shit. “It was worth it.” he breaks your train of thought, “Good thing we didn’t break tradition.”

You swallow. “Right.”

He kisses you, slower this time.

Happy-fucking-holidays to you.

[tavyliasin]

Villain-Fucker Angst Hours

Good timezone, darlings~ Are you ready to get all up in your feelings? No? Me neither, loves, but here we are regardless so the words are going to flow as they usually do... This is focused on Raphael from Baldur's Gate 3 and his fandom, but the latter section can easily apply to any villain fandom.

Self-Analysis of Devil-Fuckery, Or Why Do I Adore Raphael When He Is Very Obviously Evil: A Short Essay by TavyliaSin (Who Still Cannot Name Anything With Less Than A Full Paragraph) ((NSFW)) (((Game Spoilers)))

The following may discuss heavier topics, but without specifics, so whilst it should be safe for most to read without triggering any difficult memories please be aware of Raphael's entire vibes, the content and context of his story, and I'd also like to mention that this isn't a "woe be us for we are terrible people" piece, it's actually more about:

"There is an inherent kindness and warmth to much of the Raphael fandom, and I think there could be some common threads behind that, pulling us all in closer in a comforting blanket that we wrap around each other to keep out the cold of the world."

So, what in the nine hells am I on about? Well. Raphael-fandom is a wild and wonderful place to be. The rest is in sections, so feel free to skip through to what you feel is relevant to your interests. I am so prone to waffle I should open a restaurant~

Who Are Fans Of Raphael? What Do They Want?

We are feral, unhinged, all sheets to the wind "I want that devil man, carnally, and there is no force in all the planes that could stop me". There's the vanilla to the extreme and every level in between, tops, bottoms, versatiles, Doms, subs, and switches - there are a whole lot of people who would love to get their hands on either (or both) of Raphael's forms, for a simple smooch or something far more spicy~ [edited in] To add on to this, not all of us even desire him in a sexual way, for many it is romantic, soft, or even just the rather pleasant thought of spending an evening with drinks by the hellfire because he would be fascinating company. Aces, Aros, and AroAces may all find themselves well within the devilish corners of fandom too~ which is a whole other essay~ [end edit] So, I see you. I'm one of you. Extremely loud and utterly hingeless in my fan appreciation for Raphael. He's one of my favourites to write about, I seek art of him, and the same goes for his mirrored other half, Haarlep, who I arguably love more despite there being far less content of them in the game.

And the Fandom? The Vibe?

From my experience in the Raphael Fandom areas, we have a very deep and abiding understanding of consent, respect, and treating each other with an absolute and uncompromising kindness. We've had talks about keeping each other safe in fandom, exchanged details of people we have encountered who need to be avoided, even shared details between moderators of different fandom servers to pre-ban people proven to be creeps and/or art thieves. We've also discussed consent, including the issues with it in the game, and how areas of the story can only really be considered dubious at best and could easily be triggering for people. And these discussions have been open, honest, fair, and with the acknowledgement that most of us love these scenes anyway. So there's a sense of care that runs through everything, behind the horny-posting and fan content, behind the endless thirsting after our favourite fictional characters. We have a depth of kindness that warms my sinners soul every time I see it.

What Does This Have To Do With Self-Reflection, Raphael, or Villainy In General?

Well let's look at Raphael. He's a villain, obviously. He's manipulative, devious, and inherently evil by his very nature. He keeps Hope chained in his basement, constantly subjected to endless torture. There's also mention of how Gortash was sold into his service at a young age, clearly not an enjoyable experience given the other details and how things turn out (particularly as Raphael would need Gortash's own plans to fail entirely in order for him to succeed in his own and get that crown). And as fans, we accept that. We don't sit making excuses, or trying to say "well actually Gortash is a little shit and Hope probably deserve it", and we don't shy away from or conveniently ignore those darker sides of him with malicious intent to enable more evil to flourish. What I noticed, when I allowed the thoughts to continue, is that there is a theme here.

If Evil Can Be Loved Then So Can I

That's the core. Of course, darlings, I am not claiming to be a heinous monster. I certainly do not have a laundry list of crimes that would make the devil himself say "Uh, that's a bit much." But I sure as fuck treat myself like I do sometimes. You see, I think a lot of us have that tendency, to judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else. Our patience, understanding, and forgiveness for others runs deeper than the Mariana Trench, but when it comes to our own flaws? One minor mistake and we think ourselves to be the worst beings ever to disgrace the earth. Thus, the villainy we see reflects how we are treating ourselves. So by loving and accepting all of those things that should be terrible, hated, we are actually learning that no matter how poorly we think of ourselves that we can be worthy of that same love and acceptance. We are extending the affection we are unable to show ourselves to someone we see the worst parts of ourselves amplified within. And that's why villains attract the people with the most kindness. The most forgiveness. Because it takes someone with a truly huge amount of empathy to find love for the embodiment of evil.

Or, IDK, maybe villains are just hot and we're too far down to care.

But wait, before you go!

THERE'S SOMETHING WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.

All of this is about FICTION. We should never be accepting of the kinds of evil we see in the game irl. We do not owe anyone kindness if they do not show it to us.

What is hot in fiction is not always OK IRL.

Look after yourselves out there, remember that consent is key in all things, and please do try to learn to love yourselves, darlings, you are worthy of it and you should judge yourself by the same standard you judge others. If you are in doubt, if you are worried, if you feel afraid - reach out, talk to someone. There are many who will listen.

Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. You deserve that much.

Oh, and all Raphael fans who understand kindness are welcome around me, any hour of the day, I adore our little fandom circles and would gladly collect all of us together. I'm following a lot of you as soon as I find you, like hunting shiny pokemon~

See you in Avernus, my darling Little Mice, may we all find joy in the Cambion's Embrace~

[journen]

Okay @chaos-vulpix asked me for Simon & 141 encountering Koroks thoughts and so here is my little ramble

Was discussing this with some others too, so also some brainstorm credit / idea credit is owed to Govan, Kells and Goblin!! xD I'm not sure if you guys have tumblrs but I appreciate you all in also indulging in this fun silly idea with me. XD

So this is all inspired by this recent art I did of Simon with a korok lol.

I think he'd hate these little fuckers. They are small and supposed to be cute, and he is confused. Simon would encounter it and be like what the actual fuck is this thing and call Johnny for backup. Johnny thinks they're cute, and tries to convince his LT they are harmless but Ghost doesn't trust them. "These fuckers aren't in the field manual Johnny".

We also joked that Ghost, not knowing what the hell these koroks are at first, would just unload a whole mag in one but little does he know they're immune to bullets and tank the whole mag and are just like YA HA HA 😭😭😂

But maybe Ghost is actually a korok magnet lol. These little fuckers like him for some reason, against his will, and follow him everywhere. They are like lost puppies who follow Ghost around and show up when he least expects it. Disney princess Ghost with koroks. He hates it and wants them to leave him alone. One grabs his leg to give him a hug and he trips and injures himself trying to fucking kick it off and Soap just stands there laughing his ass off at him xD Simon is having a day.

I think Price would be confused by these little guys too and would tell Simon to get rid of them and Simon, exhausted, eye twitching, "I CAN'T!!" One would definitely spook the shit out of Gaz too, Gaz doesn't know what to think of the little guys xD

The koroks also leave little seeds and berries out for Ghost to find and he is so annoyed. He also thinks he has gotten rid of them all at some point only to make up in the middle of the night with one staring at him and he literally screams and it wakes up Soap.

Soap likes the little koroks but they just don't give him as much attention as they do Ghost. But he is very amused by his LT's frustration with these little beings and gets a ton of joy out of it 🤣

I have a few more drawing ideas from this too haha like Simon being cornered and scared by a bunch of koroks. Him walking and just a line of them following behind him. Soap holding a korok going "they're not so bad, LT!". Price smoking a cigar and having an intense stare down with a korok. A korok with a bunch of bullet holes 😭 just going YA HA HA and Simon having a mental breakdown.

And the thing that inspired all this was this fic I wrote that's an AU if Simon left the military to raise his young nephew Joseph, and Soap Is visiting them when he is sent on medical leave. Soap gets really into playing Zelda and when he's away Simon takes the controller to try out the game, he goes on a whole tirade of why he hates koroks xD I had totally forgotten i'd written all that and so it also inspired that artwork I linked earlier ahaha.

I definitely also think he and Soap could be a force to be reckoned with if they team up to play totk because they would absolutely engineer the most elaborate creative korok torture devices xD

Okay sorry for the long ramble ahaha. I hope some of this is kind of funny! Hope to maybe do a couple other sketches for this idea too.

[silversatin2105]

Hi. What’s up? Can I please have a Hanma x female reader scenario (paragraph)? Reader is a sweetheart and the farthest thing from a delinquent and he protects her from getting hurt by Kisaki’s schemes because Hanma really likes her. Thank you.

Absolutely Not

Hanma X Fem-reader response

Hi I read your ask and I came up with this idea after talking with a friend of mine, I do hope its to your liking and beware of the following

Bad language

Mentions of gang stuff

Please enjoy in your own time and if this isn’t to your liking please message me with feedback and I will re-imagine it for you with your given feedback in mind.

It had been roughly two months since you and Hanma had started going steady, true you weren’t official with everyone as you both lived in different worlds, it was truly a puzzle on how you both ended up together, you both were as different as night and day, He was a gang hardened thug who walked in a darkness that your light would easily get swallowed up in, His heart twisted by the life of a gang member was totally different to you.

You were studious, kept your grades up and the only time you get in fights is on video games, You are a light in comparison to Hanma in everyway, but in someway it all worked out as your presence in his life kept him just enough in the light to stop him becoming the true heartless bastard he had the potential of turning into, In fact when you both started going steady he drew a line in the sand with you, there are many things that Hanma would gladly sacrifice on a silver platter for the sake of Kisaki’s diabolical plan, many others he’d allow to be strung up like marionettes to dance in the madness that was the bespectacled demons scheme that Hama would turn his back on, but you were different, off limits, a variable not to be used.

Which is why it pissed Hanam off no end when the demon in humans skin, His boss would try to ask the unthinkable of you, It was a warm summer, you three were out enjoying the weather with a nice parfait in a local café, textbooks strewn in front of you as you wanted to get your summer break homework finished before you would allow yourself to bask in the sun.

“Ah I see so this is how it goes..thanks Y/N” Hanma smirked as he listened to you explain the information in the text book, he wasn’t entirely enthralled in the subject you talked about but he did like to hear your voice and so he let you speak with such an excited pitch, in his mind it was just enough to be in a normal conversation and talking about normal things that weren’t Toman or other related.

“Say Y/N may I ask you a question ?” A cold and calculated voice asked putting Hanma slightly sighed as he threw an arm over your shoulder and looked at his captain with a raised eyebrow, this better be a normal question and if he didn’t like what he heard Hanma wasn’t going to be happy.

“Don’t you go to school with a girl called Tachibana Hinata ?” Kisaki asked as Hanam scowled quietly enough for you not to hear it and thought “Kisaki you fucker we have been thought this, Did we need to have another one of THOSE talks (Code for a the fights they’d have over you meeting more of their “Questionable” friends), Hanma by now had his arm like a protective blanket around you.

“Kisaki …really…” Hanma went onto say with a warning look upon his face, you could sense hostility and didn’t know why but you knew damned well not to question it when Hanma was like this, Kisaki just huffed and stood up, he fixed his glasses.

Not wanting to loose face and with a defeated growl, Kisaki packed up his books and made his way to the door, Hanma watching him walk away, this wasn’t over, not by a long shot but at least for the time being you were spared another day to bask in the light of your world, A world Hanma wanted you firmly in as you deserved the world in his eyes because you had the compassion to love a twisted bastard like him.

There was things Hanma could corrupt for the sake of his captain but you were absolutely not one of them

END SCENE

[miniimapp]

Aaron Z - Actually, Cassidy, I Am Busy

Gen ;; Fluff - Headcanons

Warnings ;; Noooo ??

Proofread + Edited ;; only when adding the seasoning (bold,, italics,, purple,, etc.)

Auth. Note ;; I love highschool!Aaron Z too much,, he's so precious TT^TT

This turned out much longer than anticipated (💀), so I do hope you enjoy !!

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Ah,, the school production

How you've missed the last minute rehearsals, the after show parties, mouthing conversations across the stage and that one girl who got the lead and won't shut the hell up about it

What's not to love ??

Okay,, maybe you're being unnecessarily pessimistic

Because you'll still come back

Every

Single

Time

Honestly,, it's a problem at this point

Like masochism but without the physical pain

Though it is sometimes physical

Like,,

Whoever the fuck is responsible for some of these dance moves needs to chopped into little pieces and fed to some hungry piranhas

You've rolled your ankle and nearly shattered it into smithereens about a hundred times

Rehearsals have just started and you're on your first fucking dance number

Clumsy is looking like a bit of an understatement at this point

You're not normally like this, you swear !!

You're just not much of a dancer

At least not these dance moves anyway

Who decided a high kick followed by step-turn followed by another high kick and then a roll and then a fucking leap into yet another bloody high kick was a good and necessary part of the routine

You'd do just fine with a few arm waves.. maybe a YMCA if we're feeling particularly adventurous

You have a few choice words for them

Or maybe a whole ass speech

We'll see how articulate you are when you find them

As you huff and puff through your anger you don't notice the sound of footsteps behind you

"What are you doing?"

An ungodly shriek flies from your lips as you jump nearly three fucking feet in the air

You curl into a nearby wall, grasping at your chest as if that would slow your racing heart

"What the hell, man?"

You groan at the cackling boy behind you

Aaron Z

Fucking prick

Since being forced together as what essentially boiled down to patient and nurse,, the two of you had grown close

Bit hard not to when you can't catch a single break from one another

"Couldn't resist, sorry."

You held up your fist, shaking it mockingly

"One of these days I'll get a bell on you and then we'll see what's funnier."

"I could be wearing a foghorn that goes off whenever I come within 6 feet of you and you still wouldn't notice. You'd be too stuck inside that head of yours."

You roll your eyes but concede with a smile

"Whatever, man."

"Anyway, wanna let me in on what has you so.. "

"Excited? Thrilled? Jumping for joy? Sure thing, Z, let me fill you in on what I so dearly love about these shows!"

Z furrows his brow and looks almost.. scared ??

Dramatic fucker

"I've truly missed practically breaking my ankle every other second oh so much, haven't you?"

"..I just got off crutches.."

...

Fuck

"Right, that was ill-timed, huh.. but you get my point!"

Z kinda just stares at your blankly as you fight the urge to sigh

"..Okay, so maybe you don't get my point.."

"You know, I don't know if I even know my point.. oh well, just know that my feet hurt and I'm ready to throw hands!"

Z blinked at you slowly before nodding

"Sure, you do that.."

You,, lost in your righteous fury,, don't register the sarcasm and nod firmly

"I absolutely will do that, just you watch me. I swear, when I get my hands on that-"

"Z! We need some help with the choreo over here, could you spare us a second?"

Your eyes narrow at the interruption before widening in slow realisation

"Be right over!" Z yells back before turning to you. "See ya."

You glare at his shrinking figure..

So he's the bitch that's decided to cast ruin upon your ankles..

Very well,, two can play that game !!

You'll give him just as good as you get

Over the following weeks you pulled some..uh,, harmless (??) pranks on Z

All necessary reparations for the damages to your body,, mind and soul,, of course !!

Really,, you didn't ever do anything bad to him.. just caused some mild inconvenience

Like,, when he changed shoes for dancing you'd spray the insides of his trainers with water

Or putting his playlist on shuffle when he's across the room

Or "accidentally" breaking his bluetooth connection by turning off his speaker and then turning it back on again.. multiple times throughout rehearsals

You would never do anything actually harmful !!

All tricks are mildly inconvenient and annoying at worst and funny at best !!

You swear !!

Please no arrest..

A month or so before the show you notice Z getting actually frustrated at one of your little.. pranks

So you decide to quit them,, they were pretty petty after all

Unfortunately,, in the process of putting a stop to your trickster ways Z notices you in your trickster ways

Needless to say,, he's not all that.. impressed

(It's not your fault the guy's been attempting to break your bones every rehearsal,, whether intentionally or not..)

So an apology it is..

SIKE

As if !!

Just because he's perpetually in crutches doesn't mean you want be

Haha loser..

...

Okay,, okay

So maybe you do apologise after all

That last thought made you feel kinda bad.. it's not Z's fault his limbs are too long and don't listen to him

(It's prolly because they're so far away from his brain..)

Although,, and you hate to admit it,, he somehow overcomes the limits of his lankiness and becomes quite.. graceful when he dances

It's pretty cool to watch..

He looks very at home,, not just in the space but also in his body

It's enchanting to watch

(IN A COMPLETELY PLATONIC WAY AHAHAHAHA)

Haha..

.. anyway

Z, to your surprise, takes the situation really well

Like,, bursts out laughing kinda well

Which, let's be clear, you were so relieved by, you'd been expecting him to be pretty upset about it

But no,, Z's spent enough time around his friends and their pranks to be able to find the humour in your "revenge"

If anything you accidentally incite a prank wars type situation

Which really solidifies your crush ahem,, sorry friendship

You know what they say,, friends that prank together stay together

(Though I guess it's less pranking together and more each other.. oh well)

The war spans the rest of the rehearsal period,, each one a (probably sloppy) attempt to one-up the last

It's fun

And better yet it's mostly harmless

Mostly...

There was that one time a bucket barely missed your head when Z was attempting to douse you in glitter

At least you would've had a concussion in style ??

Anyway,, the prank war was pretty much harmless

No fatal wounds were received which has to count as a win,, right ??

You both made it to opening night unharmed !!

And someone seemed to pick up on your disgruntled attitude during dance rehearsals because suddenly there were a lot more breaks and in depth dance breakdowns

And wouldn't you know it,, the ensemble began picking everything up 12x faster

A greater miracle you've never seen

And if by opening night the prank wars are somehow still going..

Well,, the glint in Z's eyes whenever they catch yours tells you more than enough

You're in for a treat

[toaarcan]

Every now and then I see the Capitalism Ruined Tieflings post float past and my brain just goes "Skill Issue."

For context, this is a popular post that states that in D&D's second and third editions, Tieflings had a huge variety of appearances and then in 4e they were homogenised into generic devil-people because Hasbro was calling the shots and demanded that Tieflings all look relatively the same because that way it was easier to sell minis of them, and now Tieflings are ruined forever because you can't make one with greasy skin that smells like farts.

But here's the thing: You can absolutely still just do that.

"But the book says-"

Fuck the book! This hobby is 50% improv and the highest authority you'll ever have to deal with is most likely going to be your friend Jim, when it comes to pure roleplay things, there is literally nothing stopping you. The D&D Police aren't going to kick down your door and haul you off to RPG Jail for the crime of not playing a Tiefling like they're described in the PHB, because there is no D&D Police.

The PHB is great for telling you what you get mechanically (or the "crunch") and can be entirely ignored for everything in terms of lore (or the "fluff").

I've been playing 5e for something like seven or eight years now, and during that time, across all those groups, we've used vanishingly small amounts of official lore, one official setting, and precisely zero Hasbro miniatures (largely because all of those games have been online).

If I had gone to any of those DMs, both the good and bad ones, and said "I wanna use the Planescape Tiefling tables for my character's appearance", I don't think any of them would've said no. Now, that's not something I personally would ever do (I'm not leaving my character's design up to the RNG that hates me), but I don't doubt that the option would exist if I wanted it.

Additionally, people have always broken from the official limitations of the books with these things, and a few really obvious ways.

Per the books, Tieflings have the full range of human skin tones, plus varying shades of red. Now, how many people actually keep to that limitation? I've seen blue, purple, orange, green, yellow, bone white, grey, black, pink, etcetera. Even the Planescape table only gives you red, green, and blue, random 5e players going "What if it was purple!" and disregarding the PHB is fully and openly accepted.

Hell, two of the most prominent Tiefling characters in the current era of D&D are Jester and Molly from CritRole's second campaign, who are blue and purple respectively. "Tieflings are just red" says Hasbro, and "No they aren't" says literally everybody else. Even Hasbro themselves don't care too much about it, there's an official Lego D&D Tiefling minifigure coming out this year, and they're orange, not red, when Hasbro could easily have demanded that Lego make them red.

Additionally, the book says Tiefling eyes are a single, solid colour, with no visible iris, pupil, or sclera. Yeah that one gets ignored a whole lot too. In fact, that one gets ignored more than it gets followed. I've made at least ten of these fuckers and one of them followed that rule, and only did so after her Sorcerer bloodline activated, and nobody, DM or player, has ever called me out on it.

The book says nothing about them having weird legs, I've still seen plenty with varying forms of digitigrade gait, whether it's with hooves or something else at the end of them.

If you want to make your Planescape Tieflings, then you absolutely still can. And if your DM says no, then they're probably just still in their Rules Stickler phase. Give 'em a little time and they'll loosen up, it happened to most people in this hobby.

That's the great thing about playing D&D. Most of the time, you really can just do whatever the hell you like as long as it doesn't futz with the mechanical side of things (and sometimes you can do it with that too).

Capitalism didn't ruin Tieflings. Sure, you can argue that it tried, but the only thing letting it succeed is a lack of imagination and an unwillingness to go "Hey, can I just do X instead" on the part of the players.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go make a character that's mechanically a Tiefling and lore-wise a completely different species, because nothing can stop me doing that.

[zayray030]

What if ace got stabbed (idk how just thought of it suddenly)?

He doesn't tell the hearts senpai. He can't be bothered to deal with the lecture. Instead, he goes to Ramshackle and the other first years attempt to figure out how to help him.

To he fair with you though the only one giving proper solutions is Ortho. He teaches the first years how to patch up the wound and the do's and dont's of being stabbed.

"Don't remove the blade. And don't get stabbed"

Now on to the fucker who stabbed him.

All the upperclasmen are confused and mildly scared to see how vindictive the other first years are towards one singular rando.

"Hey jack-kun as much as we are proud of you for putting someone in the hospital for the fifth time this week don't you think it's a bit excessive. Wait, Jack that wasn't a challenge! JACK-"

"Hey, Deuce how about we put that Nat down. No, no, no stop- DONT-"

"Missour apple as beautiful as you are angry, don't you think this is a bit excessive, I'm sorry you're brewing this poison for WHAT?!"

"Sebek what have er talked about using excessive force on humans? Oh he hurt Ace? Let it rip then!"

"Ortho please Trein's been harassing me more to control you! Oh, they stabbed Ace-shi? Let me help you activate your full power! This is just like (insert slice of life anime friendship group)

(Diasmonia and igihide both adore Ace foe two completely different reasons. Diasmonia because Ace is absolutely adorable and interesting and they like to see how he reacts to their teasing. Igihide because he saved their housewarden and befriended Ortho and taught him how to be a real boy)

They've had to physically pry them off him and they're starting to wonder how effective any of their punishments are because the moment they turn their back the first years have managed to bruise him again out of nowhere.

Floyd joins in out of fun but when he starts hearing about why the first years are doing it multiples by 10.

The hearts senpai are hurt that Ace wouldn't trust them meanwhile Crowley has been attempting to fend of Ace's family and their attempts to murder him for getting their baby injred

Ace has been dealing with being the centre of attention and he feels shy

Also mildly annoyed because he can't even go out to eat without them following him around like little puppy dogs

But secretly he adores the attention

[magicalgardenofhypnosis]

Dancing The Night Away

It is the night of a friends bachelor party for Henry Cavill as his he pulls up parking his car as he exists the drivers seat because his nerves are rising through the room for some reason. He easily waltz through the room as he is entering the door something goes off like a literal arson goes off in his head like day and night everything turns a full three hundred sixty degrees.The afternoon stirs on as a magical display of beauty occurs swooping over the sky in to utter darkness and the world begins to spin out of control and watch him as his head is suddenly aching. He holds it as he backs up from the crowd placing his back to the wall in searing pain as he can’t focus on anyone and anything else at all because it is like tunnel vision.He is look some fucking amazing as his eyes pop back open and he awoke coming too way to early in the morning on the veranda of this lovely veranda at the most privately exclusive hotel. He rolls off his stomach on to his back feeling so sick as he rushes over to the toilet puking his himself to near death as he stood up mindless sliding the glass door open.

This is absolutely oddity feel of sense washes over him at at ridiculous pace knowing fell well that he must be in a fever pit dream of his life on acid or speed. He finally is able to manage to pull the door aside enough for him to walk out on to the main step of the veranda in to our reality. A life well lived is one where we should be all free to be who we are he thinks as he pours himself a cup of proper hot tea thinking about a speech he could have made that night. He sits down on the patio chair left by the rail looking down at the beautiful setting of the world from the gorgeous penthouse of the hotel from up high. He stood up with the cup in his hand sipping as the wind ruffles through his hair, a cock expression took over his face. Like the lights went out in his mind as he walks over to the hotel mirror starts to pose his huge pecs and muscled toned body. He kisses both of his arms staring into the mirror at a reflection that is not following him back and in annoys he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

“Why are you in my body? Who are you ?”

“You don’t remember do you?”

“Last night!”

“Yeah! Go on”

“I was drugged “

“Someone took me to a strange laboratory “

“What so strange about it?”

“You, the place and more “

“Asshole “

“Anyway! Why do I have a tattoo?”

“It’s my secret! Sssshhhh”

“My body!”

“Uuuggghh! Fine fucker”

“The tattoo was made out of my soul”

“It’s attachment means…”

“You are in me”

“We share a body “

“We are one “

“Yeah we are one “

“Yeah babe”

“Remember of course ?”

“Obviously “

“Take my body for a spin”

“You don’t mine?”

“It’s ours “

“Do me a favor?”

“Go to sleep “

“Yyyeeessss”

“Permanently!”

“Mwahahahahaha “

“God this body is Godly”

“I will make everyone squirm “

“Get bigger “

“Look hotter “

“Change his attitude “

“He can’t do anything to stop me”

“Or prevent me”

“Watch me do my magic”

“Sure have fun”

“You agree “

“Go to town”

“Let’s check out your clothes “

“Ugh! Are you some goody two shoes?”

“Geez! I heard you were a cad”

“What no? A few mistakes “

“That a lie! You are a loathsome fool”

“I am loathsome”

“Mwahahahahaha! Yeah! You are wild “

“Love to party”

“Gay as hell”

“Love to dance “

“Show off body “

“Grow huge”

“Make everyone jealous “

“So damn conceited “

“A nice white tee”

“Tight jeans”

“My ass is popping “

“Look at this globe”

“I want to grope it

“Just fine”

“Better watch it out “

“I’ll poke your eyes out”

“Haha”

“I am shaking my ass”

“So plump”

“Hell yeah!”

“Check it out”

“The less clothes the better “

“Fuck me”

“Oh! Let me drop it “

“I am so hard “

“DAMN!”

the end

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

Been playing Cult of the Lamb for a while. Named it "Maths Is Bad" (my dad handed me the controller after I came out of paper 1 GCSE maths sobbing). My cult was a peaceful place. No sacrifice. No hurt. No illness. No starvation. No dissenters. Just peace and victory over the old gods (who are fucking WACK, btw. Why are they the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Why is my cult the only normal place in this world. I love this game.)

And then the "sins of the flesh" update came out.

Choice between a "lust" ritual and a "wrath" ritual.

My asexual ass immediately chooses Wrath.

"can't be that bad"

Oh good lord what have I done.

Chaos. Tried the ritual. Was terrified. Everyone went NUTS. Started destroying my cult.

SOME FUCKER MURDERS MY SPOUSE IN A FIGHT.

I sacrificed the fucker. I've never done a sacrifice before and it was fucking terrifying but Tyty (small cat-shaped demon thing) deserved it. Sick fuck.

Next doctrine, I'm like "ok just nothing bad. Nothing quite as terrifying as that. Please".

My gay ass picks "pride".

First ritual goes ok.

I need to generate more sin so that I can hatch more followers - first one (I named them Derry after Derry Girls) was super cute and also I have very few followers. And I'm not risking Wrath again.

I try the Pride ritual.

I pick a random guy to pin all the pride to, figuring he'll just barf it all up like the first guy did.

Dude barfs three times.

I'm getting concerned by this point.

DUDE GOES TO ACTUAL MOTHERFUCKING HELL BECAUSE HE HAS TOO MUCH PRIDE

THIS BITCH SWEARS REVENGE

I'M TOO TERRIFIED TO REALISE WHAT'S GOING ON

Shaken, I start a new crusade.

Going well. Calming down.

WHO FUCKING POPS UP.

"THIS PAIN... IT IS UNBEARABLE... IT IS YOUR FAULT!"

THE SPIRIT OF JOHANN TETZEL'S 1517 SERMON COMES BACK TO HAUNT ME

SHAKING

WTF IS THIS BITCH DOING

I SWEAR I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW

I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU DUDE I SWEAR

TRY TO FIGHT HIM

DEFEAT HIM (half a heart left)

Shaking but I think he's gone now.

A few days go by.

Trade with the neighbours.

Next crusade. Oh jesus.

The horror that runs through me. The absolute terror that fills me as tHIS FUCKER TURNS UP AGAIN

At this point I'm wondering whether I can like. Exorcise his soul or sm just to keep him away from me.

IT HAPPENS AGAIN

AND AGAIN

AND AGAIN

MY BROTHER IN LAMB I'M SORRY

PLEASE FUCKING STOP

I DIDN'T MEAN TO IT'S BEEN WEEKS JESUS

LET IT GO MAN

LET IT GO

IT'S BEEN LITERAL WEEKS EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU HAS DIED OF OLD AGE JUST PLEASE, PLEASE

PLEASE

[pokemon-ash-aus]

I really want to know about two captures in the rocket fled au, the bulbasaur and charmander captures

Took me a hot second to get what you meant Lol

Bulbasaur's capture is different, Ash still loves pokemon, it's just with a slightly hardened outlook on it.

When he fights Bulbasaur the first time around, he absolutely manages to catch him. Only following along when Meowth hits him on the leg to get him to follow.

Ash then gives Bulbasaur an offer.

Stay with his family or jump ship with Ash.

He gives him to the end of the day while he Meowth and Pikahu try and figure out how to help the other creatures, mostly surprised when Ash whips out Full Restores like they arent the most exoensive thing on the market.

It's clear that Ash is trying it's just he doesnt have the look of it. It unnerves Melanie to a high degree but she lets it pass especially when Bulbasaur decides to go with Ash in the end.

Charmander... Well, let's just say his is a far easier capture.

When Ash see's the Charmander, it's only thanks to Meowth that he even knows what's going on, and figures a Full Restore wont cut it. So he picks up this tiny ass Charmander and marches all of them to the pokecenter, spilling out expletives every which way.

"What kind if pathetic trainer just leaves his pokemon behind like this!? What kind of fucking scum let's a poor Charmander get injured this bad!?"

And it gets more and more creative. As time stretches on.

When Nurse Joy tries to scold Ash he slams a hand on the countertop and snarls at her

"I'd rather gouge both my eyes out then let any pokemon get this bad. Stop Bitching at the one trying to help him and find the fucker who did this to start."

He has to be reeled back by his companions cause *DONT TALK TO THE NURSE LIKE THAT!*

But Charmander is witnessing all of this.

As he's healig up and Ash is stewing in anger, they overhear Damien touting about a Charmander.

A Charmander he oresumably left injured in the rain.

No one can stop him as Ash marches over and oummels the guy, Damien's lackey's too terrified to do anything.

And it's only Pikachu's "Pikapi!" That forces Ash to stop. His fists a bloody mess before he stands up.

"Watch your back." Ash whispers to him in the dead quiet center as he gives him a semi soft smirk. "Cause if you don't, I'm gonna break it."

And he leaves.

Officer Jenny is called, but Ash plays deceptively innocent, even showing off his (unbruised) knuckles to prove it. People think it's a mass Hallucination from a psychic save for Ash who creepily grins at Damien each secind, wagging his finger to the beat of a ticking clock.

Charmander goes with Ash after that, delighted that someone stood up for him and even more happy that Ash is nice to him.

Later that same Day, Ash is spinning several pokeball's that he didnt have before. Just giving everyone a creepy ass smile whenever they ask about it.

[idrilka]

in which i'm telling everyone to go watch my country: the new age

so if you've been here or on my twitter at all during these past few weeks, you might have noticed my unhinged yelling about my country: the new age (and woo dohwan's beautiful, talented face). i finished the drama two weeks ago (immediately started rewatching from the beginning), and i honestly still haven't recovered. it flattened me like a pancake and left me just like that.

it's been a while since i got so invested in a piece of media (the last time was 2ha, and then i went on to write nearly 300k of ranwan fic, so this bodes well), and it took me completely by surprise. you know how sometimes you come across a piece of media that, completely out of the blue, rearranges you on the molecular level and you just know you'll never be the same afterwards? this is what this drama did to me, and i'm not exaggerating. i honestly went into it with zero expectations, thinking i was just going to watch it for woo dohwan's beautiful face, but, regrettably, it's just really fucking good all around. it might be my favorite kdrama i've ever watched?

*stefon voice* this drama has everything. do you want olympic level gay yearning? incredible antagonists? interesting plot and themes? fantastic fight choreography? an outrageously talented cast with excellent performances across the board and a host of fascinating supporting characters? a clever fucker with a fan? two protagonists who are absolutely unhinged about each other and love each other so much even as they practice stabbing as a form of foreplay? a searingly hot older woman with the richest voice you've heard? complex (if underutilized) female characters? costumes and styling so pretty it makes you want to chew on your arm? do you like to be made to feel all emotions known to man in a single moment? do you want to stay in a fetal position for two days after watching the last episode? do you want to think of nothing else for the rest of the week/month/year? WELL, THIS DRAMA IS FOR YOU THEN.

it's a historical court intrigue drama set against the backdrop of the fall of the goryeo kingdom and the rise of the joseon dynasty (~14th century), following two friends, seo hwi and nam seonho, who find themselves on the opposing sides of a political conflict. i can't even begin to express how good the central relationship of this drama is. it's a love story, and they fucking know it. the chemistry is sizzling. the knives are exquisite. there are so many layers to this relationship, and the lead actors do a phenomenal job with that. yang sejong gives a wonderfully understated yet extremely emotional performance as hwi, and the transformation hwi goes through is incredible to watch. woo dohwan as seonho is superb - intense, tragic, horribly misguided. the way this man acts makes me want to chew concrete.

and then!!! i usually don't gravitate towards antagonists/villains, but holy fuck, jang hyuk's performance as bangwon is such a tour de force. he is phenomenal, and he brings such nuance and complexity to bangwon that you literally can't tear your eyes away. (he also has a fan.) all three of them are absolute chemistry machines. all three could probably generate chemistry with a brick wall if needed, and this 100% shines through on screen. the strange, intense dynamic they're locked into is beyond delicious. the chemistry between bangwon and hwi is truly beyond. the "in love, divorced but still fucking" energy that seonho and hwi give off is everything. the parallels between seonho and bangwon are delectable. the complex nets of interpersonal dynamics make me want to weep with joy at how wonderfully nuanced they are.

and as if that were not enough, there's a whole cast of truly multidimensional supporting characters! (park chido, my beloved!!! munbok! jeong beom! sungrok! madam seol! hwawol, my baby!!!) honestly, there's not one weak performance across this entire cast - everyone gives it their all. this drama features also the worst father in the history of fiction, and i'm including shi mei's dad and jin guangshan in that. nam jeon is the worst is so, so many different, despicable ways, but his actor sells it so, so well. i loved every minute of absolutely loathing him.

the weakest point of the drama is, in my opinion, the obligatory but ultimately pretty secondary attempt at a romantic plot, which would be much better served by focusing on the other aspects of hwi and huijae's dynamic, because there's a lot of crunchy stuff to dig into, and i love huijae otherwise and wouldn't want to see her cut from the story in the slightest. her conflicting loyalties are so compelling, and that's where i feel like the character shines the most. the romantic plot also falls flat when confronted with whatever the fuck seonho and hwi have going on at any given point in time, but i think the drama knows that, too, and isn't trying to fight it particularly seriously (or at all).

(i also didn't love all the music choices in this, but that i can still live with.)

and, to close this giant wall of yelling, this drama is just so pretty. the cinematography is beautiful, the costumes (which i admit i besmirched a little after the first episode) get progressively more and more stunning as we go on, and i would like to personally thank whoever did seonho's wig/extensions, because that's one of the best examples of hair work i've seen in a while, and also to congratulate the makeup artists on the excellent sculpting job they did on seonho - he gets progressively more snatched the older he gets and this is very good for me, personally.

oh, and if, after all this, you're still wondering what it's like to watch woo dohwan act, then thank you, tumblr user @jekkies, for providing this excellent quote, because it's exactly like that (except there's nothing to steal here because yang sejong is also stellar):

thank you for your attention, and please, go watch this drama. i will love you forever.

[cat-mermaid]

Rewatched Fly Away Home on a whim da other night

as a kid i remember that the villain of the movie being this asshole park ranger guy who just shows up and wants to take away the geese

What the actual deal with him is as follows:

Him and the dad meet at a meeting where they're both protesting the destruction of the local marshes+farm land for housing development

movie makes it clear that these two are allies and that ranger guy is on the up and up.

when the geeses hatch, dad man goes to ranger man for help, inviting the dude to his house

Up till this point, the fuckin movie has given us absolutely no indication that ranger mans anything but a good guy+that nothin stinky is goin on wit him

its only when he approaches one of the geese to do a pinioning (which i won't get into but its worth reading about) that suddenly the movie decides it needs a villain and by god, its gonna be this poor man

babes, this dude had a whole ass monolog before this point explaining the law:

If these birds start flying as adults then legally he will have no choice but to confiscate them, because without parents to teach them how to migrate, they'll cause a heap of trouble for everyone and themselves

Trouble as in flying into powerlines, windows and other fatal goose actives

picture of future trouble

Motherfucker is trying to help these people and out of the blue the kid LOSES HER DAMN MIND and clocks him on the head with a popcorn bowl while screaming like he's about to snap the goose's neck

then for some fucken reason the dad has some kind of break with reality and goes berserker mode and hurls this poor animal control employee out the door while bellowing GET OFF MY PROPERTY U SON OF A BITCH

it comes out of nowhere and is so jarring, like what the actual fuck???

and the ranger just is just standing there in the driveway, stunned

he's all like DUDE I'M TRYING 2 HELP YOU PEOPLE. THEY'RE GONNA MAKE ME COME TAKE THOSE BIRDS AWAY IF THEY START FLYING WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH U

but then the weirdest thing is that, like i said, the movie suddenly decided it needed a bad guy so it randomly turned him-

like seriously this nice ass man is suddenly plotting from the shadows, ominous shots of him in the distance secretly filming the happy family frolicking with the geese

picture of a bad man

theres this scene where he just approaches the daughter with her geese and is all like ho ho ho you and yer little geese'll be seeing me later and WHY o WHY is he suddenly so-

then the mother fucker just breaks onto their property while everyone is out and just

takes the geese

no notice, no note, just nabs them

why?

cos he be-

its just so weird and out of the blue. Theres no explanation for it, why is this man so hell bent on acting like this? Its not like he keeps coming back and knocking on the door nicely 2 remind them about the fucking LAW regarding these birds, or leaving voice mails on they phone.

NO

SLINK AROUND IN THE DARKNESS AND VAGUELY MENACE THE LITTLE GIRL

I AM THE BAD MAN I STEAL THE GOOSES

also I love this movie :)

[bbygirl-aemond]

You may already be aware, but I actually found ppl going back and forth on Reddit about a post you'd made on here (re Viserys being a shite parent). It's under r/HouseOfTheDragon in case you ever wanted to check it out. I just recognized your name, as I follow you and it was shared as a screenshot from here.

lmao i will never get over how wild reposting on the internet actually is. that fucker has over a thousand comments and i had no idea until you told me just now! literally made a reddit account to try to add my voice to the din just to encourage people to discuss on the original platform so i can see but tbh people on reddit are a lot meaner than tumblr so i won't be mad if it doesn't get too many upvotes.

reddit's responses to this post is such an interesting case study in the polarization that's happening everywhere online. i get SO MANY accusations of being wildly biased from supporters of both "teams" all the time and it's funny because like am i too team green or too team black bc i can't be both right? mostly i think it's because people get really defensive when you criticize a character and assume it means you hate them. like bruh we are adults with big girl emotions can't it be a little more complex than that?

when i say i think viserys is a bad parent, i'm not saying it as team green propaganda. i've said before that rhaenyra is the rightful ruler and that i absolutely adore her as a character (let's just say aemond isn't my only babygirl). there's a reason i've written 100k+ words of fanfic designing a political scenario where she'll be able to happily rule without any of her children dying. spoiler alert: it's not because i hate her and think she's a bad ruler. and she's far from the only character on team black i love: daemon, jacaerys, lucerys, and baela all come to mind.

it's also really interesting to me that people see my opinion about viserys and, even though i literally did not mention rhaenyra, assume that i'm somehow shitting on her. it just goes to show how much they stand blindly by one team or another. that to criticize one member of their "team" feels to them like you're criticizing every member. like baby, i'm not the one making it about teams: you are! honestly, i understand why the team mentality was a good marketing move, but it really has been the death of critical thinking in this fandom. there are aspects of both that we're meant to root for, just as there are aspects of both we're meant to hate. none of these people are objectively morally good, and that's what makes it interesting, so why are we trying to pretend otherwise?

so while yes, i don't like viserys, why would i extend that dislike to rhaenyra? it's not like she forced him at gunpoint to do the things i'm criticizing him for lol. in fact, i think viserys did her just as dirty most of the time. i have another post in the works about this, but he neglected her for her entire childhood, groomed her best friend and dealt with telling her in the worst possible way, and made her heir in a bid for her affection yet did none of the actual work to honor her as a ruler. he could have made her his hand but instead he made her pour his wine?

now, again, just because we dislike part of something does not mean it's all bad. do i think viserys is generally quite a bad parent and person? absolutely. did i also cry ugly tears in the scene where he forces himself up from his literal deathbed to defend his daughter? yes. these two things can coexist.

also, because reddit is reddit, there are a bunch of comments that just miss my point about alicent and aemma entirely. i've already responded to those in a post here so i won't beat a dead horse too much. but to paraphrase: viserys married alicent because he liked her specifically not for duty or he would've married someone who wouldn't horrify the entire small council; and aemma didn't need to be alive and conscious for the pain she was put through at the end of her life. the things he did to his wives weren't necessary and i don't think we should be pretending they were.

lastly, it's really funny to me how many people incorrectly assumed i was a man in the comments. i'm genuinely the girliest girl to ever girl in real life (makeup jewelry and tits to the gods, sorority girly, the whole nine yards, i love it) and it gave me such whiplash. there's a joke to be made here about trying to weaponize male privilege somewhere.

[lmelodie]

Back Together BlackIce things Pt. 2

Late night posting addition. Part one is Right Here. Will there be a part three? Four even? Depends on how long their gonna rot my brain for. We'll see.

I just wanna inform everyone that the only way the scenario would go concerning a BlackIce, Who Did This to You? moment would be one asking this and the other responding like: YOU DID ASSHOLE! DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT REMEMBER THIS??

And the other who asked has to go like: ….Oh! Oh yeah! Huh. Die mad about it then >:|

My Worst Nightmare (affectionate)

Since they first knew each other, Jack has been ADAMANT, whole heartedly believes, that there's an audible difference between Killian laughing WITH him vs. AT him. He says he can hear the subtle difference but everyone else thinks he's crazy.

Conversations involving catching up about all the things that have happened in the past 910 yrs.

K: So yeah, I did get my leg caught in a bear trap once and that was pretty wild.

J: YOU DID WHAT??

-----------------------

J: Did I ever tell you that I was kidnapped by pirates once?

K: Did I ever tell you that I was a pirate once

J: Doesn't surprise me. You do look like you contracted scurvy a while ago and still hasn't been able to get rid of it.

You bet your sweet ASS that Jack takes full advantage of that stupid fucking scarf he always wears. That shits ALWAYS getting yanked.

There will be the very occasional snow on Halloween. Jack uses this as a very blatant lie of an excuse to visit Kills on the job during the holiday.

They both STILL hold a grudge on Cupid. Stupidly in love once again and they still hate his guts. They tried complaining about it to him once and Cupid goes:

"Oh, so what I'm hearing is that you wanna break up YET AGAIN!? You wanna fall out of love twice, fuckers? Because I can make that happen! I can take all that away again right now. Stop running ya mouths."

The both of them never brought it up again after that.

👏Making👏up👏with👏the👏Mother's👏in👏Law👏

Mostly Jack is the one with the uphill climb on that front. Duna hates his GUTS and there is such a minute microscopic chance of her coming around to him again. And the image of Jack absolutely floundering about trying to win over this woman is amazing.

At some point Killian goes: "Dude, it's not gonna work. I expected this and it's fine that she doesn't like you."

And Jack goes: "It is NOT fine. I WILL win her over somehow and she WILL like me!"

Spoiler alert: She doesn't.

WINTER STREETS/FORESTS AT NIGHT!!!

It's their whole vibe and they love hanging out in those areas in the dead of night in the middle of winter. Because ugh it's freezing cold, it's scary dark, there is no one around and it's completely uninhabitable and miserable. But not to them!! They are probably the only ones who will find such a scenario thoroughly enjoyable and romantic even.

Killian, along with not being able to slow dance, also can't ice skate! He's never learned, so Jack abuses this 100% and has frozen many lakes to force him out on. It's the same thing as the dancing where it's one of the rare instances that he's more dependent on him. Ego boost of the century.

PLUS, MORE BED SHARING DIATRIBES! Because it's my new favorite thing

They don't sleep in the same bed often. Jack only needs to sleep every couple days and Kills every week, so it's only occasionally that this happens at all.

There is no one designated big/little spoon. They switch on almost a daily basis. They're both switches. It's just a matter of who initiates first that day.

BUT! Killian does sleep with his eyes open. So as long as Jack is not directly facing him as he's trying to sleep, it's all good.

It's a nonnegotiable requirement that Kills sleeps with the heated blanket. If he doesn't, he will get hypothermia in the night and will complain about it for the entire rest of the following day.

The night always starts of very normal, but as they sleep, they just get more and more tangled up. And it's WORSE because Killian's joints can bend in impossible ways, so they wake up the next morning absolutely MANGELED and in a mess of limbs.