#korok hell for ghost

[journen]

Ghost is not impressed.

[typecastwritesssss]

okay but like the wind waker man. that intro. so many questions. we all know ocarina is dark but man wind waker just straight up said "and then they all drowned and the gods never came to help" hello??? how many years. how many decades. how much time did the adult hero of time buy for them? which child of zelda’s was daphnes? her son? grandchild? great-grandchild? when he stared at the rising waters and realized nothing was going to save them, his kingdom, did he think it was retribution for all the war? 

has it really been all that long? yes and also no. the lines are so blurred. the zora are birds and the kokiri are koroks and they had time to Get That Way but everywhere you look the old Hyrule, the Hero of Time himself, they're both all over the place. the deku tree is implied to be the sprout from the adult timeline but honestly who knows. the golden goddesses are statues on islands somewhere and there was a tower built to test who came after but…who and how and why? what was the tower of the gods even for? how did they know they’d need it? at what point did they accept the hero of time was never coming back so they’d probably need to train a new one? 

and oh my god, that outset island tradition. “dress your kids in green and give ‘em a sword and pray to the gods they’ll have the courage to cast down evil.” link rolls his eyes at it but he wears them to appease grandma. the revered clothes of the hero have had time to pass into “stupid traditional getup” territory. how many “failed Links” were there before Aryll’s brother? what evil could those children have possibly stricken down? the monsters in the woods?

“what became of that kingdom? none remain who know” like goddamn. say what you want about the hero’s shade in twilight princess. but at least the traumatized ghost got to meet one of his descendants and pass on his songs and his knowledge, even if that knowledge was only of war and death and combat. in the wind waker he’s a statue. an element of a legend mentioned once or twice by the last remaining holdouts of the past—holdouts who so badly want him to return, view him as the solution over all else, that they never pause to consider any other option. there are stained glass windows of the seven sages in the master sword’s chamber that are never mentioned. there is so much that is never mentioned.

nobody knows what the fuck anybody is talking about. link doesn’t know old hylian. tetra is running around the high seas (as a pirate. she and her retainers are now pirates. how did things get that way) with a piece of the damn triforce around her neck and she doesn’t know who ‘princess zelda’ even is. the juxtaposition between ganondorf, older and tired and wiser but still hell-bent on ruling hyrule even if it is a dead land full of nothing and no one, and tetra, a zelda that knows nothing, asking why he’s laughing and calling him insane. because hyrule’s dead. she has no frame of reference for his longing, or what he found so great about this sunken kingdom.

and this is framed as a good thing. the king of red lions thinks it’s better not to let either of the kids in on the loop until tetra nearly dies for lack of knowledge. daphnes nolhansen hyrule brought “the hero” back just to end ganon, and hyrule with him. was the plan always to let the sea fall in on him? maybe. i don’t know. but he rejects zelda’s plea with him to take him with them to the land that will be the new hyrule, because “it will not be hyrule. it will be your land” and that still gets me. he thinks the best thing to do with his kingdom, Hyrule, the kingdom of a whole hell of a lot of irl people’s childhoods, is for it to wash away. he wants the kids to live for the future and they do and they will and they name it hyrule anyway in his honor but he never gets to see it.

anyways i’m still mad everybody got butthurt over “trains in a zelda game” like come on now

[duckapus]

Zelda Games Be Like

A clipshow episode putting Mario and the rest of the Crew into memes of various Zelda games.

The Legend of Zelda Mario is Understandably Disturbed by Weird Old Men in Caves Who Ask if He's Alone. He chooses to save Hyrule from them instead of the pig wizard.

Wind Waker Do what ye want 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!

Skyward Sword Janky Motion Controls+Exposition Robot+Bird Up=Hell For Mario. At least we still have Groose.

A Link Between Worlds Bob is in Ravio's role for obvious reasons, while Mario gets mistaken for Graffiti and washed off a wall.

Adventure of Link Before it can starts Mario runs onto the title screen, kicks that shit outa here, and instead brings out...

Faces of Evil M O R S H U

Ocarina of Time Something goes wrong, causing Adult Mario and Young Mario to meet. Cue Black Hole.

Four Swords Red Mario, Luigi, Blue Mario and Purple Mario are on a quest to save Hyrule! We Do Not Speak of Green Mario.

Majora's Mask Mario sees the timer and immediately goes into Speedrun Mode, arguably doing more damage to Termina than if the moon had just fallen. Also Bob, Marcy and Melony are there for obvious reasons.

Spirit Tracks Elanore: I Like Trains. :) Also Floyd is there because ghosts.

Breath of the Wild Mario and Meggy go on a fun adventure through Hyrule, seeing the sights, hanging out with Sidon, messing with Bokoblins, finding Koroks, kicking the shit out of Kohga, running from Guardians...but there's this nagging feeling that they're supposed to be doing something. Cue Zelda waiting for them at the castle, bored out of her skull.

Twilight Princess Midna: *exists* Meggy, currently a wolf: This better not awaken something in me.

Tears of the Kingdom Mario eats a Secret Stone, knowing it will grant him power beyond imagining, and goes through a cinematic transformation sequence to become...Beeg Yoshi with a hat and mustache. Beeg Marioshi: I Love It!

[ganymedesclock]

What are your thoughts on TotK so far?

[spoiler alert obviously don't keep reading if you don't want this]

-Gloom hands are the absolute best I love them so much never stop being horrible

-Gleeoks are nice. good to see them again. like the new look.

-Admittedly not completely wild about the fuse system but Kohga attacks you with a car and it's fun to watch people build all the looney tunes contraptions people make

-Can't believe they finally dropped Zelda's fursona only to make it a dimension of torment for her. I love the light dragon but can't Zelda have a dragon break rather than a dragon breakdown.

-In seriousness with the fake Zelda running around it could be an interesting twist if everyone believes the light dragon is hostile because it keeps randomly dive-bombing people while a Zelda who is lucid but unable to communicate is trying to chase people away from her impostor.

-Related to a prior point I like to think the Koroks kind of enjoy being yeeted. they're prankster forest spirits. this has to be at least a little bit fun.

-I'm not keen on Kilton in the first place and I don't think we needed Kilton 2: Worse Kilton. I don't like how every NPC in TLOZ that doesn't look completely conventionally attractive is increasingly signaled as either an evil overlord or a funny idiot you shouldn't respect or take seriously. I do not want to watch these clowns dance for me as a reminder to not take any sort of interest in monsters seriously. This is a vibes based thing and is not limited to the designs. I feel like you could keep those designs as-is and salvage the vibes but I'm not quite sure how.

-Narratively, Tears of the Kingdom feels suffused with a specific kind of old man sadness that he is No Longer Hip With The Kids (and this is not gender-specific but the predominant gender of the mouthpieces it is given ingame must be noted) without making any concessions to what The Kids actually care about so Rauru is here because they heard you didn't like Rhoam so now there's a super cool hip with-it dad who never yells at Zelda but also just like Rhoam his actions amount to failing her at a critical moment, leaving her alone to suffer, and then coming back as a ghost to implicitly give Link Daddy's Blessing to marry Zelda.

I want to like Rauru way more than I do because the Zonai's designs are fantastic, but I feel like the depiction of these "Sky Gods" and their role in history ends up patronizing the hell out of both the Zonai and everybody else, but especially the non-hyrulean vassal states where the Zonai are made out to be needless fairy godmothers when they have all the hallmarks of a dying people 10,000 years ago, we can only imagine Rauru's legacy was whitewashed to hell and back considering how central Hyrule positions its non-Hylian allies, But Then Also the Zonai are so beautiful and smart they created everything with their inherent superiority and if the gerudo, zora, gorons, or rito have any meaningful cultural legacy no they didn't the Zonai did this for/with them.

Also can we please not physically put the arm of the king with its power to command things and space on Link's body. This feels like a twofer desecrating Rauru even further by disembodying him down to only the useful part of him and also literally making Link just a bodily platform for the King's Authority. no we're not gonna empower YOUR hand we're gonna hack it off while you're unresponsive to make room for the real kingly authority. We've been doing this since Wind Waker and the quiet part feels like it's getting louder.

-I love Gloom I love the Depths. on the one hand yes they could afford to be a little more Actual Cave Like but as it is it kind of sends the vibe of like, a prior surface that sunk downward into the earth. The idea of moving up as well as down, this sort of heaven-and-hell motifs, are kinda great.

-As afraid as I was of this version of Ganondorf being made out to be a puppet/pawn/disciple of Demise I was actually very, very pleased to see the man just straight up eat Demise's lunch in every conceivable way. Even his demon king form which feels the closest to aping Demise replaces the primal pyroclast vibes with that saturated blood color. Demise feels like a primal titan- Ganondorf feels like a Persephone stained with the fruits of the underworld. I love his designs I love his vibes I love what they did with him. This is SUCH a good return to 'letting Ganondorf be a person rather than a screaming rage cloud'.

Literally the only thing I don't like is I think his tiny dinky oni horns are silly and he didn't need them. that's it.

-I mentioned Kohga but I'm so glad Kohga just decided that since he fell down a hole he Lives There Now.

-the like likes are excellent. If you are sensing a pattern here it's that I'm very fond of the creature design. You begin to see why I'm frustrated with Kilton and Kilton 2: Worse Kilton. Just let me hang out with the horriblins. have you seen them.

-Ok I don't really like that they had a "here, idiot, this is how you make a functional weapon" angle to giving Conspicuously Weapon Shaped horns on all the main monsters so you can just harvest them to make spears or hammers or such. This is part of the part of Fuse I'm not keen on.

-did we really need zonai device gachapons. they were not being at all subtle about how toyetic this new mechanic was, to the point of it feeling kinda immersion breaking. how seriously are we supposed to take this. Zelda is over there doing the anime fisheye stare. This is the last surviving legacy of a dead people. We are capable of recreating the Guardian Massacre from BOTW onto random blins now. But whee. Car go brrrr.

-TLOZ Please Stop Adding Gimmick Robot Characters That Obviously Have Feelings But Are Also Slavishly Bound To A Purpose Long After It's Useful To Anyone And Were Made That Way By Heroic Guys We Are Supposed To Root For And This Isn't Framed As A Problem, and other songs by Fall Out Boy,

-Yona is a good character and I like her, Sidon is allowed to be bisexual

-this isn't unique to TOTK or originating there but I have a little petty rage in my heart that goron rock food is just... comedy cartoon meat but made of rocks. I hate it. expose us to an entirely alien concept of cuisine. Make me yearn to eat bismuth knowing my human limitations would fail me. I was thinking about this the entire Marbled Rock Roast plot.

WHAT IS THERE TO ROAST

IT'S ROCKS

HEAT CANNOT ALTER THE PROPERTIES OF ROCKS WITHOUT EITHER MELTING THEM OR TURNING THEM INTO A WHOLE DIFFERENT ROCK

-I think Evermeans are good and we should live in fear of resource-useful setpieces more often. there should be hostile jar mimics next. Wind Waker had enemies popping out of jars but also you could get the drop on them by breaking the jar like normal, and that fails the mimic test of "am I now afraid to perform Ordinary Actions in places I'm not sure are safe"

[thegeminisage]

im in kakariko and WAH koko and cottla still pray to their mom every day and their dad joins them...but they can't get to the actual cemetery bc of the ruins >:( and "rpincess zelda" said not to go near them. it is driving me crazy that i cant so this quest!!

i googled and apparently this quest involves the business with the Fifth Sage so i have to hold off for now :/ SUUUUCKS gonna collect some korok seeds and then find something else to do

oh wow that interactive map got a BIG upgrade. i can just ask it where certain items are now lol

I FOUND? THEIR MOMS? JOURNAL??? oh my god in the kakariko well.......

she had a garden down here 😭 she lists all their favorite foods......

theres a korok seed at the cemetery, so i went the long way around and left a silent princess for her. i'm gonna come back and get the rest later when the main quest takes me here

i knew there'd have to be a fifth sage, but a whole quest AND dungeon...that's pretty amazing!! i wonder if we get a 5th companion...zelda as a ghost companion would be SICK but i know nintendo would Never

ive decided to attempt to investigate the faron thunderstorm. wish me luck

THUNDERHEAD ISLES.......this is so cool. i can't see shit <3

also all of my bows & weapons rn are metal...oops lol

whoooa the music here.........

when i say i cant see shit i mean i REALLY. cant see shit. even the depths is better than this, at least there you can use brightbloom seeds

i found a flux construct but i CANT SEE LOL and i dont have any nonmetal weapons worth any damage...im doing it blind while only switching to goo weapons when im actually attacking sdlfjghsdfjkg girl HELLLP

GOT HIMMMMM wow im a BEAST

i used the shadows and the LAST of my stamina to make it to ??? dragonhead island ??? WHICH I STILL CAN'T SEE

there's gotta be some trick to clearing or navigating the storm but i dont wanna google it in case its like...THE SIXTH SAGE,

FUCK IT LITERALLY IS A FITH SAGE THING I HATE THIS GAME LOL

ok. fucking hell. im leaving. is there ANYTHING interesting im allowed to do rn. jesus

from now on im just going to assume that if i suddenly hear cool music im not supposed to be here.

landed in the horse god lake and caught that big stallion. named it yeto in honor of the big white abominable snowman in tp salute emoji

this well has a bubbulfrog inside it ??????

where the FUCK am i going theres a whole ass cave system down here

another ancient blade.......

KOMO SHORELINE? what in GODS NAME

fine ok i can work with this. jesus.

actually no i can't. it's raining and i don't want to climb all this shit nor do i want to tangle with electric lizalfos. i swear to god

ok. back to the stable.

oh flute boy!! i forgot about him. i guess he must be part of the band. luckily this time i have his fireflies...

AWWW the glowing tree was so cute and pretty

ok, feeling more prepared for komo shoreline now. luckily there's not much here anyway...

PHANTOM HELMET. NICE

NO!!!!!! a fucking BLOOD MOON while i was attacking this electric lizalfos camp!!! COME ONNNNN

i survived but god one of the lizalfos got glitched and there WASN'T. even a treasure chest over here. good fucking lord

i found my first above-ground lynel......and it's silver. this is what i get for waiting so long to seek them out...

omg my ancient arrow sent him to eeby deeby. im reloading tho idw waste it on that

okay so. he is hitting, very, hard,

i can't climb a tree either cuz he can Get me

okay. well! i died. clearly outmatched. i need.........better armor. i am so TIIIIRRRED of getting my ass kicked!!!!

for better or worse i'm in the chasm on the island next to hyrule castle. i figure it's probably an isolated place since. yk. island. reeeally wish i could find a lightroot tho

A FROX....SICK

blue-white frox. less sick. im gonna die again :(

omg i GOT HIM!!! n*ce

i cheated and peeked at the map...theres literally nothing else down here lmao not even a lightroot. im gonna go...somewhere else!! but later. i have to take a break now for food chores etc ive been playing for hours

[anthemxix]

Fanfiction Master Post

ao3: anthemXIX tumblr: #anthem writes, #anthem's wips

Linked Universe

One-Shots

Another Day G | Time & Warriors | Words: 2255 Time struggles to tell Warriors that they've met before.

Clouded G | Sky & Everyone | Words: 2185 Sky suffers a concussion.

Crumble T | Words: 8250 The heroes grieve. (cw: major character death)

Denial G | Time & Wild | Words: 1122 Time and Wild visit the Temple of Time's ruins.

Homecoming G | Time & Wild | Words: 441 Time and Wild both feel at home in the forest.

Thunderstroke G | Legend & Warriors | Words: 3465 Storm clouds over the sea spur unwanted memories.

Time Management (co-writers: Gintrinsic + LettersByTheLake)T | Legend & Time | Words: 2335 Time investigates some strange occurrences.

Uncivilized G | Twilight & Wild & Warriors | Words: 6181 Wild knows he's different.

One-Shot Collections

Better Me Than You T | 5/5 | Words: 4469 Prompt fills for Whumptober 2021

Intermission (ongoing) G | 10/15 | Twilight & Wild | Words: 10,440 Collection of fluffy one-shots, set pre-LU

Light and Momentary Troubles M | 12/12 | Words: 15,342 Prompt fills for Whumpay 2021

Odds and Ends: A Ficlet AnthologyT | 10/10 | Words: 10,177 Assorted ficlets, cross-posted from Tumblr

Multi-Chapters

Ghost Town (ongoing)T | 1/2 | Time & Warriors | Words: 7410 After Warriors suffers near fatal injuries, the heroes take refuge in an abandoned town. Based on art by fuwafuwallen.

If You're Going Through Hell (ongoing)M | 3/11 | Time & Warriors | Words: 15,846 The Captain's Gerudo Desert is haunted by brutal memories.

What Waits in the WoodsG | 3/3 | Words: 2412 Three AU vignettes based on Over the Garden Wall. Based on art by willatree.

LoZ: Breath of the Wild

Ongoing Series: A Wolf & Its Boy

Fragments // Part 1 M | 1/1 | Link & the Champions | Words: 8841 Sometimes, Link hears the Champions' voices.

Proving Grounds // Part 2 T | 1/1 | Link & Koroks | Words: 6591 Link struggles to pull the Master Sword.

Re-Domestication // Part 3 G | 3/3 | Link & Kass, Link & Impa | Words: 11,661 For the first time since waking, Link encounters society.

[legendofzelda4life]

Overboard

Day nine wow (sorry i get more and more surprised each day that im having the ability to continue this)

Today we have some Wind and Wild platonic angst (why do i always have to do angst with wild??? *cries*

Hopefully nobody dies but I’ll decide it as I write.

--------------------------------

“Hey, Wild look!” Wind exclaimed. They had recently arrived in Wild’s Hyrule where they were staying at Lurelin for a few days. This town had to have been the furthest thing from Hyrule castle. The closest guardian was all the way near the horse god and even then it was closer to the Gerudo Region.

“What is it?” Wild asked, curious to what the sailor may have found. “That island.” Wind pointed across the water.

“Oh, that’s Eventide island. On top of Koholit rock is Korgu Chideh Shrine.” Wild explained, pointing at the shrine.

“I’m sorry, what rock?” Legend asked from behind the two. “Koholit. Y’know, west of Toronbo beach? I thought you were awake when I was telling Time about it?” Wild said. It was true, the previous night he told Time all about the ranch ruins, Mabe village ruins, Eventide, the Spring of Power, basically anything he thought was suitable.

(anything I thought was a reference to another time lmao, I might make a post later)

“No, I was asleep. It’s been a while since we’ve stayed in comfy beds.” Legend said. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost. Wind hoped he was okay.

“Can we go over there?” Wind asked. “No way, Time put me in charge of you two and I’m not going anywhere near that goddesses forsaken place!” Legend exclaimed. Wild and Wind shared a knowing look before booking it to the closest raft.

“Get back here you idiots!!! Wild is the only one that knows how to fight in this world!!!” Legend yelled as the other two jumped onto the raft. “No way Vet! You guys are safe in the village, if anything we’re the ones in danger!” Wild yelled back with a laugh. “Really?” Wind asked in an excited tone.

“Hell yeah, there’s an over world boss on this island. I think it might be a blue, or second grade, hinox.” Wild explained, taking out his korok leaf.

“Whaddya gonna do with that?” Wind asked, cocking an eyebrow. Wild smirked.

“This.” He swung at the sail and the boat pushed forward. “Cool!” Wind said in awe.

The two boys sailed along but as they got closer to the island, the wind got rougher.

“You okay, Wind?” Wild asked. The younger boy was sitting down, holding some of the rope on the raft. “Yeah it’s just, really... me... out here.” Wild looked at the boy in disbelief.

“Did you just make a pun with your name?” “Yes.” “Dear the goddesses you’re stupid.” “Hey!” “What?”

Wind playfully glared at Wild before the two started laughing. “Anyway, we should go back. This is the closest I’ll take us.” Wild said, taking out an oar to turn the boat around. “Okay.” Wind stood back up excitedly, wanting to tell everybody what happened.

Suddenly, a rather large gust of wind came through. Without anything to grab, the sailor was thrown overboard. Sure, he could handle cyclones but he was in a boat. This was a raft. Y’know, nothing to grab!

“Wind!” Wild yelled out, reaching for the sailors hand. “Shit!” He pulled out the slate and made a block of ice behind the younger hero.

It didn’t stop him.

For some reason, the wind was now going towards Eventide. If Wind wasn’t stopped, he’d be stuck there and only one person can be on the island at a time.

“Fucking shit.” Wild said as he saw Wind wash ashore. Wind was basically 50 metres away from the sandbank but had no way to get Wind off the island. Then he had an idea.

Wild pulled out the Shiekah Slate.

“Wind, I’m going to talk you through this step by step.” Wild said, seeing the sailor look into his Pirate’s Charm. (the necklace is called The Pirates Charm)

Wild placed a cryonis block and sat on it. If he stayed on the raft, he’d go back to shore before Wind was done.

Also, he burnt the raft so the boys couldn’t come looking for them.

A few days later

“Wild!” Said hero looked up from his spot on the ice block to see Wind running - slightly limping - on the sandbank toward him.

He was battered, bruised and bloody. Wild would have to heal him up before someone like Sky saw, He worried a lot about the other heroes.

As soon as Wind was on the ice, Wild enveloped him into a hug. “I thought you were dead.” He laughed. Wind hadn’t replied since fighting the hinox. “Sorry, I pocketed this so I couldn’t hear you.” Wind said. Wild squeezed him a little.

“I’m sorry I took you here.” He said. “It’s not your faul-” “Yes! It is!” Wild pulled back with tears going down his cheeks.

“Wild-” Wind was cut off again. “When I did this the first time I was knocked out over and over. I was on the verge of death without my weapons. You don’t know how lucky you are to have experience before doing this!” Wild exclaimed. He went to Eventide not long after meeting Purah and wasn’t very experienced against Hinox.

He doubted Wind was experienced with them but the younger hero had been through three adventures and remembered them all. He had more fighting experience than Wild did his first time here.

But that didn’t stop wild being scared for him.

“Wild, I’m fine. Just a few scratches.” Wind said, looking up at the other blue-clad hero.

“Can you jump that far?” Wild asked, pointing to a nearby ice pillar he made in preparation for when they go back. Wind shrugged and jumped across, using his korok leaf like he had seen Wild use his paraglider to go between these.

“Yeah.” He landed on the other side. “Good.” Wild smirked before breaking the ice. “AAH!!! WILD!!!” Wind shrieked as he was plunged into cold water.

“I hate you so much!” He yelled out in a fit of laughter, looking up to see Wild was gone. “Wild?” He looked around before being pulled underwater.

He looked around panickedly to see bright blue eyes staring back at him. Wild pointed up and Wind looked to see a lizalfos. Wild pressed a finger to his lips and led Wind through the water.

Wind could feel himself growing lightheaded so he tugged on Wild’s shirt. The other hero looked at him as his eyes closed.

He didn’t let the air escape him, just closed his eyes as he strained to not breathe in.

He couldn’t stay awake much longer.

He felt the air leave his lungs.

Shit. Shit. Shit!

That’s all Wild’s brain was saying as Wind passed out.

There wasn’t time to give Wind anything before so the older hero forgot to give him a zora helmet.

“...fault!...” Wind could hear snippets of conversation.

“...Twilight!...” 

“...himself!...”

“...danger!...”

Wind shot up. “Danger?” He asked, scared there was an ambush.

The other eight people visibly jumped.

“Oh my goddesses Wind.” Wild took the hero of wind’s into a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

SLAP!!!

The sound resonated throughout the room.

“Heh. Nice hit.” Legend said, scooping food into his mouth as Twilight glared at him. “What? It was a good hit!” He gesturing his hand towards Wind as he spoke. Twilight shrugged in a way that said ‘yeah okay’ before continuing to watch Wild and Wind.

“This isn’t your fault Wild!” Wind yelled. “Yes it is! You could’ve died.” “But I didn’t!” “But you nearly did on the way back!” Wild got louder and more distressed. “There were lizalfos!”

“I could’ve taken them!” The room went quiet as Wild began to cry.

“I-I could’ve beat those lizalfos easily but I was so mad I let you get lost on the island that my first thought was to get you away.” Wild said, his shoulders shaking as he looked down. “In the end, you could’ve died because of that. I should’ve just fought it, but I didn’t.”

“Will you ever shut up?” Wind asked with a laugh as he hugged Wild once more. “’You’re dumb and I hate you.’ Is that what you wanted to hear?” Wild shook his head.

“Then shut up and stop blaming yourself.”

END

------------------------

Hey look, everybody lived. Surprise, surprise.

But this became more fluff than angst.

I really can’t write just sad angst.

I hope you guys enjoyed anyway lmao

One shot shit

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUESTS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

CAN DO AN AU IF REQUESTED

[gnosk]

@leechdealer69 Oh, absolutely.

In no particular order:

Hyper Light Drifter Ahaha I know I just said these were in no particular order but HLD might be my favorite video game. I’ve written essays about this game (okay, just one, but I poured my heart into it). Every part of this game is executed SO well and it comes together for an amazing product. It’s gorgeous and the sound design is superb. The story is subtle in a good way, largely told through small anecdotes and environmental storytelling, and is incredibly melancholic. The combat is brutally difficult, which would typically be a turn-off for me because I have difficulty with combat, but feels so good that even if you’re total shit at it you want to keep playing. I’m actually decent at HLD’s combat at this point, somehow. Every part of this game serves its thematic identity, from its story to its world to even the game design itself. Please play HLD if you get the chance.  

Machinarium Machinarium does the point-and-click genre really, really well. I love this genre solely because of this game, honestly. All of Amanita Design’s games are great (I also highly recommend Samorost 3), but Machinarium stands out to me because it’s just so.... charming? It follows a robot protagonist as he attempts to infiltrate the robot mafia to save his robot girlfriend and keep said robot mafia from destroying the robot city (everything in this game is a robot). Truly, the only straight romance that matters. It’s weird and wacky and while the puzzles are certainly difficult, they all make sense conceptually (plus there’s a really well thought out hint system). If you like point-and-clicks, or even if you don’t, I’d recommend checking this one out.

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Yeah, okay, nobody’s surprised by this one. Open-world games are the type of thing that sound like they should be  right up my alley, but most don’t execute the open world aspect very well. BOTW, it’s safe to say, does. I’ve sunk, like, 250 hours into this game, and for good reason. I dunno if I can really say anything about BOTW that hasn’t already been said, but for me, the biggest draw is its exploration, and how much there is to explore. I’ve pretty much 100%’d BOTW (aside from the koroks, because fuck the koroks) because I kept being surprised that there was even more I hadn’t found already. Also I project onto Link. There’s that.

World of Goo This game is so weird, in a really good way. It’s also surprisingly anti-capitalist/anti-consumerist? The game itself mostly just consists of building towers of these cute little goo balls to solve puzzles, but it’s set against this warped, hyper-consumerist society that (vague spoilers?) ends up basically ruining everything. It was one of the first real video games I ever played and I’ve never played anything like it since, and it definitely has held up on replays. The puzzles are great, the goo balls are cute, and the world is demented in ways both amusing and intellectually complex. Anyway, yeah. This game’s pretty old at this point compared to most of the other entries on this list but it deserves some love.

Oxenfree Oxenfree is a really cool game. Five teenagers roaming around a historically haunted island, getting haunted and sharing their traumatic backstories? Hell yeah. This game implements choice-based dialogue & multiple endings really well, and every little detail becomes relevant to *something* later. It’s kind of a horror game, but not totally, and didn’t end up freaking me out existentially like most horror does (just has some spooky moments. It’s about ghosts, after all.). The sound design & art are really cool, and all of the main characters are really interesting & well written. There are also plenty of secrets if that’s your thing. Now that I’m writing this I actually want to go back and replay it, ahaha.

I think I think too much about video games.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Incorrect Quotes

Back to Main Masterlist

Sorted By Character -

= = = = = Link = = = = = 

- Revenge against the Koroks (are their revenge against me...)

- Dealing with inconveniences 

- The Theater Kid 

- Battle against Vah Ruta

- Ancient Traditions

- What’s the deal? No meal?

- He can express feelings!

- “If I had a rupee...”

- Happy Birthday Link!

- How’d ya find him?

- Truth or Dare?

- Doing your best!

- Communication is key  

- Having fun

- Returning to your greatest failure...

- They’re outstanding in their field  

- That sucks, kid  

- Stal-ling for time

- Zelda is late..?!

- The sights of nature

- Give me 10 minutes

- Mathematics 

- Where you belong

- The Ranking System  

- Health Problems

- Allergies

- Perfect Pickup Lines

- Use your brain

- The “I” in team

- The Truth About Goldfish, i speak from my soul

- Fears 

- What’s in the bottle?  

- Not Useless

- A classic game

- Two ends of the spectrum

- So, who are you?

- Persuasive Tactics 

- Thanks, Old Man

- Wakey Wakey

- Words of Advice

- The Circle of Life

- - - - - Link Incorrect Quotes Continued - - - - - 

= = = = = Zelda = = = = = 

- Dealing with inconveniences 

- He can express feelings!  

- Please scale back on the lizard puns  

- Happy Birthday Link!

- How’d ya find him?  

- Truth or Dare?

- Having fun

- Zelda is late..?!  

- Look at his hat

- Give me 10 minutes

- Health Problems

- Use your brain  

- Apologies 

- Oh yeah, I like all the Champions!

- The perfect daughter

- Words of Advice 

- Reckless idiot

- Submission: The Duality between these two is iconic 

- - - - - Zelda Incorrect Quotes Continued - - - - - 

= = = = = Yunobo = = = = = 

- The sights of nature  

- What’s in the bottle?

- Put on a brave face!

- The Best Revenge

- In range

- The Signal  

- Mom

- Have a nice day!

- Well, thank you for asking

- The powers against The Calamity!

- Train of Thought

= = = = = Teba = = = = = 

- Teba meets Revali

- Negotiations 

- That sucks, kid

- Why can’t you be normal?

- How to handle kids????

- So how old are you?

- The Best Revenge

- Hows. My. Singing?

- Big spoon? Little spoon?

- Mom

- Fluffy Sons 

- Adventure calls! But so does Teba

- Mipha’s Grace is— wait wHAT

- Drunk enough?

- Zuko

- The powers against The Calamity!

- They are not the same...

- I’m not your dad or anything

- Motherhood

- TWO can play at that game

- Tall people

- “Wait”

- “No boys allowed”

= = = = = Sidon = = = = = 

- Battle against Vah Ruta  

- Hylian Insults

- The “I” in team  

- So, who are you?

- You’re alive?

- Yelling 

- Mom

- Caught something in my eye...

- Ghosts

- The powers against The Calamity!

- 911 

- Daruk Humour

- In good hands

- “No boys allowed”

= = = = = Riju = = = = = 

- Pssssssst!

- So who are you?

- The Sneaky Plan? Or...

- Mom

- Adventure calls! But so does Teba

- Five

- Well, thank you for asking 

- The powers against The Calamity!

- Story time!

- Those weren’t yours

- Threats

- Facial

- “No boys allowed”

= = = = = Daruk = = = = = 

- Please scale back on the lizard puns

- Zelda is late..?!

- Give me 10 minutes

- The Snickers Slogan  

- Fears

- Inside Jokes

- Two ends of the spectrum

- Talking to monsters

- Gift Baskets

- Cooking to everyone’s tastes

- Secure Small Items

- Slurp

- LET DARUK SAY FUCK NINTENDO

= = = = = Revali = = = = = 

- Teba meets Revali  

- The Theater Kid

- Happy Birthday Link!  

- How’d ya find him?  

- Revalink secrets...

- Doing your best!

- Communication is key 

- Having fun  

- They’re outstanding in their field 

- Zelda is late..?!  

- Give me 10 minutes

- Where you belong

- The Ranking System

- The Snickers Slogan

- Perfect Pickup Lines

- Apologies  

- The Truth About Goldfish, i speak from my soul

- *This* Close 

- Shine Bright

- Romantic Entanglement  

- Not Useless

- Advice

- A classic game

- It’s all his fault!

- Have you heard of the Elf on the Shelf?

- Elf on the Shelf

- Let’s play a game...  

- Link is so ugly I hate him what are you talking about

- Don’t talk down to me!

- Link murders Revali

- Growing as a person

- Salt

- Critiques 

- Rigged System  

- Unorthodox Methods 

- - - - - Revali Incorrect Quotes Continued - - - - - 

= = = = = Mipha = = = = = 

- Mipha questions Vah Ruta

- Truth or Dare?  

- Zelda is late..?!  

- It was an accident

- The Ranking System

- Love Advice  

- The Truth About Goldfish, i speak from my soul

- Shine Bright

- I’m in lesbians with you

- Cannibalism

- Language!

- Letter of apology

- Have you been yelled at yet?  

- Musical Interests  

- Gift Baskets

- Cooking to everyone’s tastes

- Hazards  

- Better Bitter

- What doesn’t kill you...

- Ghosts

- Little hands

- Hospitality

= = = = = Urbosa = = = = = 

- Concealment with the Camel, Vah Naboris 

- Ancient Traditions  

- Revalink secrets... 

- Doing your best! 

- Communication is key

- Zelda is late..?!  

- Look at his hat

- Love Advice

- *This* Close

- Shine Bright

- Romantic Entanglement 

- Two ends of the spectrum

- Link is so ugly I hate him what are you talking about

- Don’t talk down to me!

- I’m in lesbians with you

- Salt

- Language!

- Critiques  

- “You’re beautiful”

- Listening skills

- Emergency Contact

- Proper language  

- Gift Baskets

- Secure Small Items

- Hell

- Peace and Quiet

- Have you seen her?

- Grave Request

- How’s the weather up there?

- Technicalities

- Stuff

- Mombosa says: You need to sleep for 8 hours everyday

= = = = = Other = = = = = 

- Drink Noble Pursuit

- No one has braincells

- The Art of Science

- Goron Real Esate Shows

- Fluffy Sons

- It all began on that day...

[rational-mastermind]

I’ve been meaning to make a review about Breath of the Wild for a while, but at least wanted to wait until after I finished the shrines.

SCREW. THAT.

I’m gonna just say it up front; it’s not one of my favorite Zelda games. I mean, yeah, I have a personal history with Majora’s Mask, but that’s not the only thing. I’ll start at the beginning, under the cut. Cause this is gonna be long-winded.

I’m not gonna make a lot of complaints about how it sucks in comparison to Ocarina of Time or make too many mentions about the timeline issue, cause we all know that it was bullshit since the moment they said anything. But there are just...so many things that bother me.

I will say that Breath of the Wild has a lot of great thing going for it and it’s easy to be impressed when you first sit down to play it. The graphics are gorgeous and the voice acting was done very well. There are so many wonderful little bits of lore, call-backs, and even general mechanics of the game that just made everything amazing. (I was so fucking excited to jump without running off a ledge.)

However...there was a lot of the story itself that bothered me. Not to mention a few other things. One of which, was the music. Or....serious lack thereof.

One of the things I loved the most about Zelda, was the music in nearly every game. Background music is very essential in making up the environment of any level. From your typical fire temple, to underwater, to creepy ghost town. And for Zelda, it wasn’t even just that, but that song itself had a large to-do with a lot of the lore and story. Song tells others you have something to do with the Royal Family. It changes the universe around you. It soothes the dead. Not just in Ocarina of Time either. So it was really weird to...not have any of that in Breath of the Wild.

Yeah, we have some soundtrack but..it felt so..threadbare. When you go into a shrine/town/battle, I barely register the music. Walking through the open field...nothing. When I’m galloping on the Lord of the Mountain, the fast-paced piano feels more high-tech than race-horse and makes me feel uneasy about a guardian lurking nearby. Then when you DO face a guardian, or any mini-boss of a monster, it gets so fucking intense, so damn fast, I was worried about challenging a Hinox for the longest damn time. (Geez, I felt stupid for that after I realized how easy they were to beat.) Everything just felt...off. And it was weird that you didn’t have to repeat any song 10 fucking times. I mean, yeah, I was really sick of Elegy of Emptiness after going through the Stone Tower in Majora’s Mask, but I’ll listen to the 50th remix of Song of Storms. It was like...one of the few things that kept the whole timeline thing connected. It was that there was always a harp, there was always a song, there was just...something that connected us to the higher powers. And it’s kinda cool for a game to give something like music, so much power.

But I’ll stop bitching about that and get to my real problem. The story.

Now the basic crux of it, I’m fine with. They attempted to beat Ganon, failed, and had to pay the price 100 years later. Cool. That’s interesting. A nice premise. But gosh DAMN if the details don’t fucking trip me up! Let’s run through this chronologically.

Okay so Zelda, being the nerdy princess that she is in this life, discovers that yeah, they reincarnate every several hundred years and beat an evil known as Ganon. There’s supposed to be her, the physical embodiment of the goddess Hylia, and Link, a young knight sworn to protect her. Hooray, self-awareness.

Apparently, she also discovers that, what was it? 1,000 years ago, the Sheikah... the shadow people who are skilled ninjas that protect the family...built 120 shrines, robots, and massive weapons of terrible destruction...just to help beat this one guy that two kids and a magic sword handles on a regular basis. Actually no, I shouldn’t just say it’s two kids and a magic sword.

It’s a knight with a magic sword, three pendants, six sages, and the final seventh sage (aka the fucking goddess-child) that defeat the Evil.

It’s already upsetting enough that the Sheikah are stupidly advanced in technology (cause ancient magic tech from the gods is always the way to go...), and that the 1,000 year span makes the whole timeline thing confusing as FUCK (even if it is in the broken world timeline), but that they just...do that. They just fucking dissed the fucking premise for like, so many of the games. You find three pendants/orbs/stones/things, the master sword, six sages, and then help Zelda. Thanks for reducing everything else to nothing. Thanks for making 6 sages fucking nobodies. And yeah, I’m gonna harp on that.

One of the things that was nice about Ocarina of Time is that the 6 Sages became one from each race. In Link to the Past, it was the descendants of 6 powerful wizards. In Wind Waker, it was at least the last 2 other species left alive after the whole flooding incident (cause those three gorons are gonna fucking die and I wanna cry thinking about it). It just...it made sense.

So why. The fuck. ARE WE RELYING ON ONLY THESE FOUR????

We still have the Sheikah and the Koroks. What, just cause Impa’s old now? Cause the Korok’s are tiny as fuck? That never stopped anything before. We could’ve had Purah, or Paya take up the mantle. If size was an issue, how about Hetsu? Koroks can choose their shapes and try to put on brave faces. Saria was willing to help with the fight. Makar was willing to go through a whole temple to help. I don’t see what makes this generation a bunch of pussies! What the great and all-knowing fucking Sheikah just..FORGOT about the other sages???

Like, don’t get me wrong. Again, there’s a lot of good. I wouldn’t say gorons would be my favorite race but dammit I love Daruk and I love his grandson. They’re just sweet and adorable as fuck. (and I have a weakness for soft-hearted big-guys. ^//^) I’m glad they fixed the Rito’s appearance (though I hate Rivali’s fucking attitude). I liked their stories and their powers. But you could’ve at least rounded it out to be EVERYBODY. And further more, as great as it was to see their spirits put to rest, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for ghosts to pilot giant robots. It could’ve made a bit more sense for maybe the later generations to take up the mantle and help out. (Since that’s what a lot of them seem to imply.) It would’ve been kinda cool to go through the Divine Beasts with the Next Gen and let them help us fight the blights and let them take control.

Also on a fashion note: WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING BLUE?? Thanks for dissing Farore. I guess she wasn’t a very important Goddess! Certainly not the one that LINK correlates to. Yeah, I get it, he’s supposed to get his signature outfit later, but I’m gonna get back to that problem in a bit. You could’ve at least kept the design and made it fucking GREEN.

Cause yeah, I get it, it was supposed to signify their unity and shit and that’s great and all, but BLUE had a purpose and that was WISDOM. Link isn’t WISDOM. He’s COURAGE. That was the whole rite of passage thing in Wind Waker!

Also, Zelda. Zelda, babe. Hon.

Zelda... What the FUCK ARE YOU WEARING???

Like, DAMN girl’s got hips for DAYS but do we really need the thicc shown in fucking leggings?? I mean, okay, her normal princess outfit is fine. Would’ve liked it to be a liiiiitle more traditional, but whatever. You look the part. And her normal adventure outfit is...okay?? It doesn’t look very practical nor comfortable for travels so it seems a little weird?? It just looks really uncomfortably tight and really draws attention to the thighs. But see, it’s the fucking Goddess getup that I have the most problems with.

Like, I’m just gonna start with saying that she looks fucking pregnant.

The empire waist wasn’t a good choice, especially cause she’s already just so damn thicc. And then you mix it with a sleeveless top and you have these fucking layers that just exaggerate the hips in the most unflattering way possible. I’m not saying she needs to look sexy but for a goddess, she could’ve looked more elegant? I’m sure with some kinda alterations, this would’ve looked great, or maybe on a different body, but like! I don’t like the dress for Skyward Sword either but at least she looks more goddess-like than this! (and that was a VERY boring dress...) She looks like Ariel putting on that sail cloth when she turned human. I mean, she could’ve had like, three-quarter sleeves with a v-neck or sweetheart neckline and then let the skirt flare out with the Hylian buckle around the waist. But this looks.. it just looks uncomfortable. I wouldn’t wanna practice goddess magic in this either.

So aside from forgetting about important races and a lack in fashion design, then you move on with the story. So since Zelda’s such a nerd and cause she lost her mother when she was younger, I guess that means I should feel sorry for her long-ass struggle with her goddess powers but um... I’m not. I don’t feel sorry for this woman. I just feel annoyed. I feel very annoyed every time I run all over Hyrule, trying to find these fucking memories, only to get five minutes of her bitching at US for her own failure.

Link is a soldier. And on top of that, he’s burdened with the heavy duty of carrying the Master Sword. HE is the one who has to fight Ganon. And instead he just runs around escorting Princess Twilight Sparkle while she geeks out over learning and frogs and then insults him, yells at him, and pushes him away from doing HIS FUCKING JOB. Unlike her, LINK IS DOING HIS JOB. I don’t blame him for shutting the hell up while she bitches and cries. I’m gonna side with Zelda’s father on this one, she found out about the prophecy, but SHE NEEDS TO DO HER JOB. Not for the sake of reputation (which seemed unusually dickish for him to say....) but because that’s her damn job. Everyone else knew what it meant to be a soldier. They knew when to dig in their heels and get ready to fight. WHY. DIDN’T. SHE?? Or at least why didn’t we see her trying like she kept talking about?? Yeah we saw her pray to ONE FUCKING FOUNTAIN. And it wasn’t even supposed to be her damn goddess! The whole mess wouldn’t have happened if she had just SHUT THE HELL UP and thought about someone else besides her own problems.

Also, if you were gonna show the tender moment where she finally does unleash her powers, maybe you SHOULDN’T make that a “secret ending” after you run around and try to guess where the rest of the memories were based on poor-quality pictures. And yeah, Zelda. you took a lot of shoddy pictures with that damn tablet. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DIFFERENTIATE ONE FOREST FROM A THOUSAND OTHERS??

Maybe I would’ve felt more sorry if I didn’t have to climb through a fucking castle full of guardians, avoid tripping the cut scene, and THEN read in a long-ass diary about her mother dying, but you know, that just didn’t happen. I don’t feel sorry for her. I don’t feel excited for her to unleash her powers. Actually, I’m rather sad that despite the games being called “Legend of Zelda”, I REALLY didn’t wanna focus on THIS incarnation of her. The idea of it would’ve been fucking fantastic, but did Nintendo really have to make her such a whiny bitch?

Okay okay okay. Now before you send me hate mail, I will point out some things I like about her. She had a nice voice. She was cute (in a good outfit). And she wasn’t a total bitch. It was a good idea for Nintendo to try to focus on the titular character for once. I just don’t see this excusing all the other problems though.

Moving on, I mentioned earlier how I hated Rivali. That was the understatement. I am so glad he fucking died at the hands of one of the easiest damn bosses. I know some people may have liked him but I can’t stand ego. It’s an immediate turn-off and the sad part is that he had a sexy design and voice. He could’ve been redeemable if he showed some kinda humility after being dead for 100 years, but no. They just...didn’t give him that. Not willingly at least. Again, this is where I would’ve LOVED the next generation to take up the mantle instead, but... Yeah. No. We didn’t get that. (And I swear he was jealous that Link had Mipha and Zelda’s affections. Especially Zelda’s.)

Urbosa was good, but I felt like we didn’t get to know her personality too much? And the same goes for her grandchild. Also even though the Gerudo are known for hating men, they HAVE accepted men into their clans before. What happens if these women marry?? They have to leave town? Link was genuinely accepted as one of the Gerudo in OoT and was free to walk around! And that was just for debunking their strongest warriors. BotW!Link saved the whole fucking town, saved one from dehydration and another’s husband, and is a renowned champion! You think that would give him a get-out-of-jail free card!

I already talked about how I liked Daruk cause he’s definitely a strong leader and a gentle-soul. I do like the Goron City but it feels a little weird how....corporate they became. I mean, it makes sense. They can make a good profit from the gems they harvest but it’s still a little weird considering how tribal and relaxed the gorons were before. Still, they were a cute bunch and I really liked going to Goron City again.

And Mipha was sweet and I really loved her one-sided relationship with Link. I felt really sad thinking about Sidon growing up without his sister and I see why everyone shipped him with Link. Sidon himself was pretty good but....personal preference dictates that a super excited, extroverted, supportive type...doesn’t suite me. Don’t get me wrong. He’s very sweet and cute and I can see why a lot of fangirls were into him. It’s just the over-exuberant extrovertedness that gets to me. Also I was really surprised that this game made the ZORAS racist, out of all of them. I mean like, fucking damn... I know your princess died but fuck! Finally, last note, I...really didn’t care for their designs. I know the Zoras have been through a hell of a lot of redesigns over the years and they’ve certainly improved, but I think Ocarina of Time’s era was just enough of Fish and Human to make it a good hybrid? Rather than making...a shark..humanoid...with another shark...on his head?? And somehow related to a whale??? With a...manta ray...for an advisor.. I mean, I get it, he was suppose to look old, but it’s literally just a stingray on his head.

I liked Hetsu too, though collecting korok seeds is kinda annoying. I hate it when games make you have to gather more for just one thing, it’s just..not a fun mechanic to have? And the koroks themselves are still cute, though it’s taken me a while to accept that they replaced my beloved Kokiri and Dekus. (I only had OoT/MM growing up, so when I finally played Wind Waker as an adult, yeah I was pretty upset about the change in the species.) I still wish they had a bigger role to play in all of this.

Lastly, Ganon had a pretty great design, though it was a little weird he was like...semi-solid for this game. Like.. What? What was with all the...”malice”? (Which is an actual word, guys. You could’ve called it something besides that...) I really liked how he merged himself with the technology and it was interesting that he was controlling the guardians, but honestly when she said “Given up incarnation” I was a little disappointed he still went by Ganon cause you know... His original form wasn’t called Ganon. It was called Demise. Also for having a giant smoke-pig with a huge gaping mouth hovering around the castle, it would’ve been a little more interesting for him to...still retain that when you walked in? But design aside, fighting Ganon wasn’t actually all that hard after you freed the Divine Beasts and it’s...a little disappointing. I mean, I’m running around, fighting lynels and dragons and guardians and really, I had more trouble with THOSE than I did with HIM. And that’s REALLY disappointing when Ganon is the long-standing Ultimate Bad Guy (tm) and I was REALLY looking forward to feeling more accomplished beating him than I did when I beat a silver-maned lynel.

Finally some last complaints:

I wish the Sheikahs didn’t have their hands in everything. Who said that THEY should determine who Goddess Hylia’s chosen hero should be? Why were THEY the advanced race when you have one that harvests iron on a regular basis? And I hate that they don’t have any actual temples cause one of the things I liked about the whole thing is that there was a running religion and the Sages and Temples actually had some significance? Even though it’s pointless, I like history and archeological search in a game, even if I’m the only one doing it for my own amusement, cause it just helps me to connect more to the world that I’m playing in but I don’t get that when I walk into a weird-ass abyssal room with small puzzles or fights.

Also there are seriously WAY too many fucking shrines. None of them make any sort of callback to old games. The spirit orb system is confusing cause if that’s a callback to Skyward Sword, then at least say it was by Link’s own doing and not these dead monks that have been preserved in suspended animation for 100 years. Why didn’t Link do the shrines to start with 100 years ago? Also I HATE that you have to collect 4 spirit orbs for hearts or stamina. I mean, we all know stamina sucks, but this just making it REALLY obvious? And seriously it was so fucking easy to die early on into the game, especially if you ran out of stamina or were still fumbling with the new controls.

Why didn’t he ask more questions in this game? If you have voice acting, why didn’t you actually give Link any dialogue? I think that would’ve made a stronger impact for Zelda to get her powers or something.

Seriously the three dragons bug the shit out of me. I know they were supposed to represent the goddesses and it was really cool to first come across them and shit but 1) it’s really hard to keep up with any of them. 2) they don’t really add anything to the plot. 3) was Zelda supposed to pray to a dragon?? 4) Did the dragons from Skyward Sword just like...de-evolve? (devolve?) Cause they spoke and wore clothes??? Why didn’t these??? 5) (and this goes to Skyward Sword too) why is the one who represents the fucking forests, you know, FARORE, have lightning powers? I think Pokemon already took the cake with mythical creatures representing Fire, Ice, and Lightning. This would’ve been better with Fire, Water, and Grass, y’know?

I fucking cringe looking at the map cause it feels like so much it just out of place... Like, how do you move a whole Forest from the south to the north? Why is the volcano moved like, way far to the back? The WHOLE Lake Hylia was moved like, so far from the original spot. Really the only things that stayed in place was Hyrule Castle and Gerudo Desert.

Also don’t give us giant skeletons and then NOT ACTUALLY EXPLAIN WHAT THEY REALLY ARE. Leviathan is not just a blanket term for Giant-Ass-Monster. Was that the Dodongo King at the volcano? The Sky Dragon from Skyward Sword?? What the fuck froze to death? Why was that and the one in the desert more similar the one at the fucking volcano??

Seriously your mini bosses shouldn’t be harder than the Ultimate Bad Guy. The blights were harder and I especially had trouble with the lynels and guardians. And seriously WHY was there a fucking guardian on the fucking Plateau?? I was fucking terrified of these killer robots and it’s seriously unfair that I barely ever get any proper armor or shields to deal with them! Also seriously, why did there have to be a whole graveyard of them right underneath a stupidly challenging maze??

Also I don’t mind teleporting everywhere in a game, but when there’s literally secrets over every last inch of this game (from shrines to korok seeds to weapons, food, and needed pictures) it gets REALLY boring to travel on foot. Especially when climbing mountains in freezing conditions. I mean, I love that it’s so open-world and I love that we get to go exploring whatever we want, but there are a few problems with that. The other being that it’s hard to follow the plot of a game when you hardly have any reason to go do it or to follow any intended order. I did Rivali last, not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t bother to explore that side of the map until it was all that was left. I WISHED SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING EARLIER IN THE GAME CAUSE THE GALE WOULD’VE HELPED TREMENDOUSLY.

Finally I swear someone on the staff has a giant fetish, and not that there’s a problem with that? But can we have ONE game where the Great Fairies aren’t horrifying to look at?? Like, if some people like it, fine, I guess? But gosh damn these bitches just look so GAUDY. There’s too much glittering, there’s too much...just too much everything. Also you should be able to up all your armor, not just a few things? It would’ve been awesome to walk around as Shadow Link and have it upped to be at least decently protective.

Okay.. I think I’m done complaining. Now I’ll stop my own bitching and actually give the game its proper praise.

The game does have some amazingly gorgeous graphics and it blows me away every fucking time. When it does want to intimidate you, it does so very well. And so many things were designed so well. Despite earlier complaints, I love how the dragons were designed to vary from one to another. I love how all the baddies were designed. I love the large array of wardrobe that you get for Link and it’s so much fun to change his looks and dye them different colors. (though, again, you should be able to dye the Champions tunic to GREEN.)

Some of the characters were fun and had some great personalities. I liked the bits of lore this game generated. I also loved whatever small callbacks it did make (like mentioning Naboru, and Makar’s island). I liked that you could catch and ride so many things and it’s fun that there’s a motorcycle (I haven’t unlocked that yet, but I’m sure it’ll be fun ^^). It was fun exploring different worlds within this game and just really see some of these beloved races expand and grow and see how the world is affected by such an apocalypse.

I like hunting for your food and surviving that way rather than random hearts coming out of the grass. The whole sense of survival is pretty awesome and thrilling. It’s fun to discover things in this world and it’s fun to just go around, explore, and make up your own adventure. (I just wish there was a bit  more guiding for the story...)

Some of the reactions in this game are so much fun. Like walking up to people naked, or riding the Lord of the Mountain to any stable. Actually that entire story about the Lord of the Mountain is really sweet and heartwarming. But the actually dialogue that’s written into this game is really fun and pretty spot-on.

I really liked the side mission of buying your own(old?) house and creating an entire village from the ground up. It was such a sweet side-story to the whole thing and was a lot of fun to to. The other side mission of helping the korok through the woods was super cute. ^^ It was little moments like these that really did make me enjoy the game. And I did like being able to stumble into Zelda’s room or study and read about her life in the past, seeing her figure out Link and such.

And the challenges of conquering the Divine Beast was actually fun, but again, would’ve liked a bit more direction. Actually getting through this game was kinda fun, but it was easy for the magic to get sapped out of everything with stupid shit.

Overall, I wouldn’t say this was the worst Zelda game. Heaven know Skyward Sword did much worse. It could’ve been better though and that’s what really makes me sad. I was really looking forward to playing something new and amazing, especially having just finished Wind Waker for the first time before it and was honestly, disappointed after the magic of the new features wore off. It wasn’t the best. But it wasn’t the worst. It just really needed some work on in a few areas. Over all I would rate it 7/10.

[journen]

Simon encounters a creature

[journen]

Okay @chaos-vulpix asked me for Simon & 141 encountering Koroks thoughts and so here is my little ramble

Was discussing this with some others too, so also some brainstorm credit / idea credit is owed to Govan, Kells and Goblin!! xD I'm not sure if you guys have tumblrs but I appreciate you all in also indulging in this fun silly idea with me. XD

So this is all inspired by this recent art I did of Simon with a korok lol.

I think he'd hate these little fuckers. They are small and supposed to be cute, and he is confused. Simon would encounter it and be like what the actual fuck is this thing and call Johnny for backup. Johnny thinks they're cute, and tries to convince his LT they are harmless but Ghost doesn't trust them. "These fuckers aren't in the field manual Johnny".

We also joked that Ghost, not knowing what the hell these koroks are at first, would just unload a whole mag in one but little does he know they're immune to bullets and tank the whole mag and are just like YA HA HA 😭😭😂

But maybe Ghost is actually a korok magnet lol. These little fuckers like him for some reason, against his will, and follow him everywhere. They are like lost puppies who follow Ghost around and show up when he least expects it. Disney princess Ghost with koroks. He hates it and wants them to leave him alone. One grabs his leg to give him a hug and he trips and injures himself trying to fucking kick it off and Soap just stands there laughing his ass off at him xD Simon is having a day.

I think Price would be confused by these little guys too and would tell Simon to get rid of them and Simon, exhausted, eye twitching, "I CAN'T!!" One would definitely spook the shit out of Gaz too, Gaz doesn't know what to think of the little guys xD

The koroks also leave little seeds and berries out for Ghost to find and he is so annoyed. He also thinks he has gotten rid of them all at some point only to make up in the middle of the night with one staring at him and he literally screams and it wakes up Soap.

Soap likes the little koroks but they just don't give him as much attention as they do Ghost. But he is very amused by his LT's frustration with these little beings and gets a ton of joy out of it 🤣

I have a few more drawing ideas from this too haha like Simon being cornered and scared by a bunch of koroks. Him walking and just a line of them following behind him. Soap holding a korok going "they're not so bad, LT!". Price smoking a cigar and having an intense stare down with a korok. A korok with a bunch of bullet holes 😭 just going YA HA HA and Simon having a mental breakdown.

And the thing that inspired all this was this fic I wrote that's an AU if Simon left the military to raise his young nephew Joseph, and Soap Is visiting them when he is sent on medical leave. Soap gets really into playing Zelda and when he's away Simon takes the controller to try out the game, he goes on a whole tirade of why he hates koroks xD I had totally forgotten i'd written all that and so it also inspired that artwork I linked earlier ahaha.

I definitely also think he and Soap could be a force to be reckoned with if they team up to play totk because they would absolutely engineer the most elaborate creative korok torture devices xD

Okay sorry for the long ramble ahaha. I hope some of this is kind of funny! Hope to maybe do a couple other sketches for this idea too.

[journen]

Hello!

I wanted to spread some positivity to people I follow in the ghoap/cod fandom so this is for you:

I love how creative that Korok and Ghost idea is! I am currently obsessed with playing totk rn so it was a perfect mash up of my interests. I feel like while Ghost woulwd pretend to hate and be exasperated by them, he would still help them get to where ever they needed to go, especially when he comes across the tired one with the big backpack. He'll roll his eyes but still come to the rescue.

I also adore your art ❤

Hi there! Thanks so much! This message made me happy to hear 🥺 and yeah the idea totally spawned from me being really into TotK at the time, and seeing ev ryone make all the death machines LOL. I'm a big Zelda fan too ahahah. I definitely agree with you tho, I think maybe Ghost hated them / was frustrated with their existence at first 😂 but ended up getting a soft spot for them that he would never admit to. But he absolutely would help the tired ones with the backpacks he comes across, he can't just walk by and leave them there 🥺 and he it takes it as a challenge each time to help them get to their destination!

Korok dad Ghost! 🤣

And thanks so much again! I'm honoured you like my art ahaha and I hope to have more coming soon.

[journen]

I saw your cod korok stuff and now I’m having braunrot of Soap wanting to built a rocket and see if they can fly 😭

THIS IS SO SOAPCORE AHDGWKHWJWSHJWHW

OMf he would so strap a rocket to the back of one of those mfs and wanna see it go flying. Ironically? Ghost is against this and is the one who stops Soap. And this is definitely after Ghost tries blowing up the fuckers with a rocket launcher only for the korok to just ya ha ha through the flames xD (which I really want to make a comic of).

[journen]

I have no idea what koroks are but your last few posts are so cute so I look forward to more drawings!

Thank you so much! So, to give a lil explanation ahaha, Koroks are just these little tree / leaf creatures from the legend of Zelda series! In two of the most recent games where they make an appearance, Zelda Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, you can find huuuundreds of koroks out in the wild. Fans have a very love hate relationship with them to say the least. 😂 People like to torture them LMAOOO. To me, it's like, koroks are so stupid and cute I hate them but I love them but I want to kick them. 🤣

Here are some pics tho of what they look like! 😄

In the bottom pic you can see he has a backpack lol 🥺

Anyhow I'm happy you like these silly arts I've done! 🥺 Imagining Ghost encountering koroks and stuff has genuinely made me laugh so much over the past couple days so I'm happy you could enjoy it too! Hope to have more stuff out soon!