#this originally started out as a sketch to make me feel happy because my week has been SHIT

[caveiratimida]

In honour of the spooky season and the two outfits I found that felt very 80's and very appropriate for this father and son duo.

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

Hi, random comment but Holy shit your half-transformed Monster Tom with the mouth in his chest is so fucking cool! Also, monsterfucker Tord is so real! Can only imagine Tord's reaction when he saw Tom like half-transformed for the first time.

THANK YOU! im like. super happy with how i draw tom, monster form ABSOLUTELY included. i put like. way too much thought into it lmao but ive always been a fan of unique creature designs so what else is new.

RRRAAH RAMBLINGS UNDER THE CUT

so ive been obsessed with the concept since i figured out what exactly happened during PowerEdd, ~2015. tom was kind of already my favorite but i only got more obsessed now that i could draw him with claws and fangs now.

(lmao old art^ lets all point and laugh)

when i finally got back into eddsworld this most recent time and started thinking about how i'd draw the guys i already knew i wanted tom to be trans, so when i started sketching i drew him with top surgery scars... which kind of looked like teeth... and the canon monster design already has a mouth on its chest/head... it just worked!!

...

ok tangent time- i dont like the canon design very much (the combined head/torso is Very limiting for poses. F!!!) but i also have never really liked the popular fanon of just making monster tom a wolf with horns and a single eye. it always feels so reductive!! do you KNOW how many monsters there are out there who are just "big dog/cat plus one fantastical feature"???? MANY!! so i was pretty determined to find a design i liked (one that was both flexible and fairly unique) before putting it in anything.

...and the partial transformation cliche of just putting accessories on a character is SUPER boring to me. so i wanted something that would be an actual halfway point to a fucked up freaky creature that is only barely humanoid.

ok back on track it took me like fuckin forever to finally get the final ~50% design together. i tried mimicking the merged torsohead of the canon monster and it just left me disappointed. :/

the single blank eye instead of the rest of the face was a god damn GENIUS move i am so proud of it im pretty sure the first time i drew the design was the actual draft sketch for the comic. because fuck making reference sheets!! the design's in your mind, right???

oh! as for the second half of your ask, the first time Tord saw Tom half transformed was right here^^!!

then a couple weeks after that i managed to find a 100% design i liked that still looked like a reasonable end point. at which point i actually made a little ref sheet! BEFORE i used the design in a comic!! it hasnt gotten much use but i still like it :)

i took a much more wyrm-like horizontal approach as opposed to the vertical design of the original, but the arms (connected to top of spine, directly behind head) and legs (close to the bottom, optional) allow it to still match the original's body plan, especially from the front view. then extra legs, big spiky scales, even larger mouth... because who wants just a dog with horns am i right!!

ahaha so basically im incredibly proud of how the design turned out so thank u for liking it :))

[dustdeepsea]

Writer Interview

Tagged by @my-favourite-zhent nearly 3 weeks ago and I've entirely missed the wave.

I've enjoyed reading so many interesting ones by my mutuals! Tagging (only if you're keen) @graysparrowao3 @coreene @say-lene @luvwich @grossestjay —and if I've missed your interview somehow, tag me in the comments!

Q&A after the cut—

When did you start writing?

I wrote my first fanwork at age 12. It was self-insert fanfiction with me and 2 of my friends in the Slayers anime universe, which meant it was several comedic sketches strung together with with lots of actions denoted by asterisks and emoticons. You know the ones ^_^ ^____^ @_@ T_T *slaps you gently with a trout*

We printed it out on someone's home printer and bound copies in plastic school folders with a two-hole punch. I've lost the original file ages ago, but I would love to read it again.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

When I was younger, I actively sought out "difficult stories" because I wanted to experience things beyond my day to day life. I read Nabokov at 16 because everyone kept saying Lolita was a dangerous book. I also read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk and Bret Easton Ellis without really understanding them.

My pretentiousness definitely peaked in my university days. My dating profile at the time listed: Herman Hesse, Kazuo Ishiguro and Mikhail Bulgakov.

Now that I'm older, I read and write stories primarily to make myself happy.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I'm not remotely at the level where I get compared to any published writers.

My favourite contemporary writer is David Mitchell (of Cloud Atlas fame), and my favourite book by him is The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet.

My favourite "classic" novel is The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I type at my desk, in a study shared with my partner. Sometimes if the scene is particularly spicy or they are gaming too loudly, I take the laptop to the living room.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Bouncing plot bunnies off others on Discord, talking a walk or a long train ride, playing an immersive video game and rotating characters in my head for hours afterwards.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

According to my lovely readers:

"Romantic and sweaty"; "two silly sausages frying in a pan" (thanks to my long time beta-reader @littleplasticrat)

"Purity, temperance, glimpse of [the] ability for real love / real forgiveness" (thank you @tellmeallaboutit!)

These did surprise me a bit when they were first pointed out but it makes sense—I've been accidentally writing Regency romances and repressed idiots in love without setting out to do so explicitly.

What is your reason for writing?

I put aside hobbies for many years because of my work (no matter what advertisers want you to believe—doomscrolling is not a hobby). Started doing more creative things during my sabbatical last year, and writing was one of the things that saved my broken corpo soul.

Nowadays I'm really into bread making and cooking in general. I'm trying to balance work and creative pursuits and I'm much happier overall.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Any and all comments are received with love <3 <3 <3 I really enjoy it when people let me know what lines really resonated with them or point out motifs I'd snuck in.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Friendly and approachable! Not entirely hyperfixated on That One NPC from a Video Game with Five Lines (that one might be harder now...!)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

A fairly broad vocabulary, including anachronisms, which is useful for fantasy story settings. Writing characters who are actively lying to themselves (thinking one thing and saying/doing another).

My writing tends to be on the more contemplative side and a bit sadder and slower paced, so if you enjoy A Great Deal of Yearning along with your smut, then it would appeal to you :)

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm pretty happy with it! I write very, very slowly, with constant edits as I go, and would probably starve if I ever had to rely on my fiction writing to be paid. Luckily, I get to do this as a hobby.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I write for myself, but I am also super blessed to have a very small but vocal audience that I can interact with directly. I guess my best advice is: Write for yourself and your 10 friends who want to read your hand-bound home-printed self-insert fanfic <3

[greensagephase]

Ok, ok, it's been so long and I have many things to say.

First, I already have a sketch of Miguel (kind of), and he looks so soft. I was going in with super low expectations because he is so hard to draw, but I love how it came out! School keeps me busy, and I suck at managing my time, but I'll draw Pavitr soon enough so I can get started with fanarts (If I hear another engineer say my career is easy I'm losing it)

Second, the nickname post was so cute!!! I always love Miguel fluff. We don't have enough of it. I remember one time you hinted Miguel might or might not get jealous in one part of Nonviolent Communication but if I'm being honest I can't see Miguel being a jealous type (Although I'd love to read your take on it) I think he is more of an insecure person. Sure, I see him getting angry and even uncomfortable if someone flirts or tries anything with his partner, but not because he is jealous but rather because he wants his partner to be safe. I picture him hugging them the moment he gets home and just melting with them in his arms, nuzzling his nose against their hair, drowning in them. I think he focuses more on their safety than in any other thing.

"Did he touch you? Offer you something? What else did he say? Are you sure you're ok?"

In his mind, he is just glad they're safe and comfortable. Anything else is secondary, but I can maybe see him getting jealous of the attention they give to others, but if that's the case, I think he would just start saying nonstop that they are his and they're in a relationship at every opportunity he gets. He would also stand closer, just as an extra precaution (because he is petty like that)

Ya, por último, do you think Miguel eats red meat during Easter? I'm sure he allows Gabri to do so, but I have this silly idea that Miguel just... doesn't. He isn't religious or anything, but whenever he serves something with red meat to his daughter, he hears his mom telling him that he shouldn't eat that because it's disrespectful. Again, he isn't religious, but I like to think that something deep inside him tells him he shouldn't. Like that feeling when you can finally do something your parents didn't allow (like pulling an all-nighter or trying a certain food or watching a show). It's not guilt. It just feels odd... So he instead cooks seafood unless Gabri specifically says she wants something else. It's a silly idea, but I feel it's something ATSV Miguel would do

I'm sorry for the late answer! I'll check the last headcanons I sent you so I can answer your questions on them in another message (and show you my sketch). I feel this one is too long already. Take care!!!

Hi @coralskybunny !! I'm so happy to see your ask 😊

I love seeing that you're doing well with your drawing journey, especially drawing Miguel!! He's def hard to draw (I'm still struggling and I've been bad about practicing, too, because of poor time management recently😭 so that doesn't help! Really hoping to get back into it this week tho, so I can draw him correctly one day), so I'm happy that you love the way it turned out!! I'd love to see your sketch and the full fanarts of your headcannons once you're ready to post it!! I was actually thinking about the last ones you sent the other day because in the upcoming chapter Miguel, Pav, and Hobie will have a scene together, so I thought of you and your headcannons!! 🥺 Also, good luck with school, haha!! I'm going to make a guess that you're studying architecture? I always see that engineers and architects have beef, so that's my educated guess! But don't feel pressured to confirm! Either way, no career is easy, they're all hard in their own way 😭

Also, thank you!! I'm glad you liked the nicknames for Miguel post!! I've been meaning to post a little more since I feel like I rarely post original content, even though I have a lot of ideas but sometimes lack of time and overthinking stops me. I do agree that we need more Miguel fluff though!! We need more people to write or send fluff requests to writers!! We need like a fluff week of writing or something for Miguel!!

AWWW your jealous Miguel idea just got me in my feelings for real!!!!! 🥹🥹 Him being focused on his partner's safety more than anything >>>>> why is he not real???? No, I totally agree that Miguel would be more insecure than anything!! In Nonviolent Communication, I've included that Miguel has felt/sometimes still feels insecure about his appearance and his family life (the parents situation), so if we do have jealous Miguel in the fic... 👀 This aspect will def play into it. Also, the bit about him being more jealous of the attention - I can see this as well!! But in the fluffy way that Miguel just loves receiving his partner's attention, you know?

I can see him def making it known that his partner is taken especially if he sees that his partner feels uncomfortable by someone trying to make a move on them despite already making it known they're taken, so Miguel then steps in and we have him pulling them into him, placing his hand on their waist, and "hola, mi amor" or whatever nickname he has for his partner, to emphasize to the person to stop bothering his partner.

But do trust that if we see jealous Miguel in Nonviolent Communication, it won't be him going crazy or acting aggressive/hostile. I don't want to say much but believe me, we'll continue to see soft Miguel no matter the situation, even when he gets all celoso and grumpy, which I can see him displaying - grumpiness, not aggression!!

I'm very quickly going to say that I didn't know you're a Spanish speaker, so I'm delightfully surprised to see your Spanish in this ask!!! :) But about Easter and whether Miguel follows lent - it's actually crazy that you bring this up because I was thinking about this, too, recently as I'm Catholic and was not eating red meat. And well, this man truly does live rent free in my head and being Mexican, I like to wonder about his experiences - both the serious and the funny ones - as a Latino.

I hope I'm not rambling from this point on but this is something very interesting to think about, so here we go!! I know in a comic run it's mentioned that he's not religious but that he still finds himself at times doing certain things out of habit because he grew up in a Catholic home. He doesn't identify as one though, but instead as an atheist. That's comic Miguel and that's what I've seen so far from doing research in the past for the fic. I haven't read the comics yet, so I may be missing some information but that seems to be it.

ATSV Miguel on the other hand... I have a feeling he's not super religious right now (maybe hasn't been for several years), but he's also not an atheist?? It's more like he's lost a lot of faith at one point with so many negative events and situations taking place in his life (and like, I wouldn't blame him because if the writers stick to comic events... I would, too, lowkey). I think he probably has an ongoing inner conflict with his religion. Despite that, I truly do think that he still respects not eating red meat during lent for the reason that it's so ingrained into his brain that doing that is bad.

I can see him letting Gaby eat whatever, especially her being a child and children being excused (at least that's my knowledge; children, the elderly, and those sick/injured are excused), if she wishes to eat red meat but like you said, I imagine he finds himself cooking meals without red meat because again, it's ingrained into his mind that eating red meat is disrespectful. Also, the fact that he lives in a New York that's heavily influenced by Latin culture - I feel like that also influences him and leads him to opt out from eating red meat.

But I don't know, that's my idea as of right now! It's certainly so so interesting to think about and I like how I have a favorite character that I can think about in these contexts that are familiar to me (and to so many other fans). I really hope that we get to see much more about Miguel's backstory in BTSV regarding these little things because I certainly find it intriguing. I think it'd add another layer to his character, too! I just really want more Miguel content, let's be real 😭 but yeah those are my thoughts on it! I'm sorry for how long this turned out!!

I look forward to reading your responses and seeing your sketch!!! I really enjoy your asks, so thank you for sending this one!!!! Take care friend, and have a wonderful day/night!! ❤️

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨Weekly Progress #29-30✨

Let me start this off by apologizing for my inactivity 🙇‍♂️ I try not to dive too deeply into my mental health on this blog, but those who know me well know how much I struggle with it. I think my brain shut down and retreated after finishing my recent projects. I relied on daily never-ending tasks to get me through each day with a sense of accomplishment so when that ended, I wound up in a void where I couldn't bring my creativity to amount to anything new.

I kicked my butt back into gear the last couple of days after realizing how little I did during week 29 (and week 28 looked inflated, but I did most of the work in 2-3 days leaving most of my week blank).

I don't know where I'll go from here, but I've worked out some new upcoming plans for future projects! And I'll do my best to start replying to messages and comments;; I've left everyone on read for long enough...!!

Thank you so much everyone, for continuing to support me al this time! 💕

Weekly Progress #29

Wrote O2A2 post mortem

Finished aKwtD ref sheet lines, flat colors

Weekly Progress #30

Finished aKwtD Liz refsheet

Finished aKwtD Camille refsheet

Reorganized/scheduled work

made SFB roadmap

Prepped SYVNH plan

Updated vgen services

Drafted more proposals

Sketched SFB sprite

Detective story concepting/outlining

A Kiss with the Devil

I completed the refsheets for Ley's upcoming yuri game!

It was a lot of fun designing them from scratch and then being able to render them in full body art! I've always shied away from full body pieces because they take a lot of time and energy... the refsheets took over a week from sketch to final piece. But I'm really happy with how they came out!

Camille, the player character, and her love interest, an immortal and possibly immoral eldritch creature, Liz!

A Sky of Falling Birds

I'm working on proposals for funding and marketing of this game as it will be a commercial work when finished. I created a new roadmap for how I'll plan to get more assets done (...and reduce the number of assets, hopefully). The current plan is to have a Demo 2.0 for Yuri Jam to better show off the story since the current demo focused more on the art and animation aspect.

A sketch for the final character sprite of SFB. I originally planned to give her two outfits, but I might try to cut that if I can...

Stuck in a Yandere Visual Novel... HELP!!

Yes...! I've still got a bit of work left for this project!! Mainly some future updates. I do want to get a steam release for SYVNH one day so I'm working towards that!

I will also be putting out some surveys soon for interest in merch based on the characters. The feasibility of it will depend on interest for what type of merch, ofc, but at the very least, I will be working on some new art for folks soon [: As a thank you for playing, and all the love you've shown for the game so far!

Other

I went into more detail than I probably should've in the intro of this post, but even in my "slump," I've been busy practicing art when I'm not getting my butt kicked by some Hollow Knight mini boss for 2 hours.

I've started a doodle blog, that some folks found in less than 24 hours 💦I'm not ready to formally connect the two together, but if it seems like I've been active there, it's just cause I draw a lot every day. It makes the monotony feel better. This blog will still contain all of my devwork, but all my art musings will be in that one.

I'm sure I'll have the courage to link the two together soon.

[chattercap]

Future Plans for Actala

Sorry for the kind of sporadic updates, I do need to be better about posting here! I post devlogs on my itch page monthly, and I've decided to crosspost the latest one here since it has some important info about Actala's future development! A copy of my latest itch devlog is under the cut!

Hello, happy June!

It's been another month (time really does fly)! 

No Actala updates this time, as I ended up increasing the scope a bit on my Otome Jam project so I had to divert my attention to that (please look forward to some EXCELLENT voice acting)! Karamu will release sometime in the next couple of weeks!

But although I don't have any updates for Actala, I do have a bit of an announcement. As you might know if you played through the demo, I originally planned to illustrate the story 100% with CGs and mini-CGs. This was...unrealistic (as basically anyone with half a brain could have told you, I imagine). 

This was something that became EXTREMELY apparent as I worked on Karamu. I thought I scoped very realistically (a simple scene with 2 characters and only 10k words), and I hoped to finish the game within a month. However, while I finished the script in a week, I've spent almost 2 months on the illustrations. (If I extrapolate that out for Actala, where the current script is 250,000 words...I won't finish the thing for another 4-5 years...)

Part of that is that I've been experimenting with more complex/highly rendered CGs, and taking more care with the color and compositions (you can see a sample below). For Actala, I adopted a more simple coloring style because of the high volume of illustrations, but I was never really happy with them. Rather than putting out a ton of illustrations that I'm not happy with, I'd prefer to put out a smaller number that I'm more satisfied with.

If I'm being honest, I didn't adopt the "CG only" strategy for any deep reason in particular. It was mainly a snap decision based on insecurities with my own art, as I felt like my art couldn't really stand on par with other VNs (so I decided to create value with quantity over quality). However, ultimately I think it's detrimental to the project. The amount of work required for the art just dwarfs everything else, to the point where I put off the other tasks to make a SMALL dent in the art (for instance, I really want to improve the GUI, which looks a bit clunky and not super elegant...) 

So from now on, I will most likely adopt the sprite format for Actala, instead of utilizing exclusively CGs. Those sprites may or may not be animated; I'll try it out and see how I feel about them. You can still expect a lot of CGs from me, but not exclusive! Interestingly, I actually planned to do sprites in the early stages of development, and I finished almost all of them. These are over a year old at this point, so they will be completely redone, though! 

I hope that this isn't disappointing to anyone (it probably isn't; I'm just stubborn as an ox when it comes to my impulse decisions...) But from a projection perspective, it's just 100% impossible to get Actala out on any reasonable timeline with the approach that I was taking. This way, I'll be able to get the game out a bit faster (with nicer illustrations, just fewer of them)! And it will give me a little more time to polish other aspects of the game, and perhaps work on a few more side projects ;)

For the rest of this month, I'll be finishing out Karamu. Then at the start of July, I'll take a bit of a game dev break before tackling the sprites! Expect to see some sketches in the next devlog~

If you read this far, thank you! See you next month :)

Chattercap

[silvereyedzoroark]

Hey sorry for disappearing, I was on holiday (Birthday gift from my parents as me and my twin haven’t gone on a proper holiday since 2018) and while away I decided to go mostly internet free during that time, to give myself an extra break from the going’s on in the world. Unfortunately I injured myself during that holiday break and had to take it easy. So that meant not being at my computer desk for long periods of time, then sadly during the first week back, my twin, elderly dog health started to decline and we sadly had to say goodbye to him...so for the last 5 days we’ve been dealing with the grief of a family pet of almost 15 years passing away. Sadly grief kills my creativity, but I’m starting to feel able to draw again and I have a lot of things I want to draw!

So what’s this character all about? well this is a new sona design for myself Jelly!! name is the same I gave myself for my Pokemon Violet game. As silly as it sounds I like it XD and I think it works for this. But my sona isn’t alone, as I’ve mentioned a few times I have a twin so I made her a Pokemon version too, (She’s called Citrus, same name my twin used for her trainer character in Pokemon Scarlet)  

So introducing Citrus and Jelly, the Hidden Zoroark twins! 

Originally I had designed them to be like this sketch below, but the design didn’t 100% feel right to me, and also when coming up with ‘sona’ names I realize the only one’s I was happy with, were Citrus and Jelly so I ended up changing the colours which resulted in the above designs, though I wish I had kept some of what the original idea had been. (Also the reason the OC’s have odd streaks in their manes? Its because me and my twin have natural silver streaks in real life! hers on her right side, mine on my left, though hers is more noticeable than mine, as mine is hidden behind my left ear/hair. That’s why for this sona design I’ve decided to change the placement of my streak and make it ‘shiny’ coloured too, so it would stand out more)  Also me and my twin are ‘opposites’ in appearance too, I am blonde, silvery blue eyes, fair skin, my twin brown hair brown/amber eyes, medium skin and also a little shorter than me (Which make me her little big sister! XD) hence our characters had to be the opposites as well, which Zoroark and Hisuian Zoroark fit perfectly! also with the Pokemon art stuff I want to draw this year their are times when I want to draw us as ‘humans’ basically Pokemon trainers and other times Pokemon, and as Zoroark have the ability of illusions this also works for what I have in mind! So hopefully If I don’t over do it their will be more Pokemon art this week and you’ll see this sona more often ^_^

[shinakazami1]

Been busy lately so I don’t have much time to review and edit, but here I am! (this was supposed to be sent on the anniversary.) (edit 1: It’s already (edit 2: halfway through) november.)

(edit 3: i gave up. words be damned, i’m sending this. there should have been more. curse you writing)

(edit 4: reminder. write a long ask anywhere else except the actual tumblr ask window. sending again just to make sure i didn’t hallucinate all this- it would be so, very embarassing...)

hehehehehe love your art. Crunchy. Pringles. Crushing it in my mouth. yummy colors and perspective (That bucket sexyman design looking kinda fine though.,..i mean who said that) (->absolutely normal behavior)

I love how you interact with others’ art, leaving your comments and compliments. Really appreciate that little motivation boost and positivity you spread :)

As seen from Paratober, you seem to take the prompts beyond their face value and messed around with the concepts of those prompts (gonna put Jester in a carton box hehe. Can we have Jester loafing? Loafing in a box?)

Personally I’m not a writer, so I don’t know how you guys’ brains work but I love how you come up with interesting ideas stemming from the game’s original material, expanding, digging deeper into them. I look up at you all in wonder hehe

Also, I read unheard wishes.

You see, I rarely ever seek out angst. I came in there with “this is gonna hurt but I can totally bring myself through this”

Boy was I wrong. Now, because I didn’t read it properly enough to leave a comment that would do it justice (time restraints get you like that), I won’t give a lengthy review. But just so you know, my general feelings were “who do you think you are. did you really think you had the right to hurt me like this. *inhales* aaaaaaaaaAA *cars crashing glass breaking sound effects idk* *lays motionless on the ground* (affectionate)”

Maybe i’ll read your filk wip next. Biology is fun :]

It’s your way with the images you make for your stories and art. Candlecurator? Whatever’s up with fernarrator? I’m not listing the ones in your writings. A lazy, lazy anon I am, I know. [insert another keyboard smash]

I haven’t been here for a while so i don’t really remember much, sorry ;; (-> fake fan detected?!? *vine boom*)

Your theories definitely left the strongest impressions on me. How do you all think like that?? (this goes to the rest of you, tsp theorists/analysts/meta. what are you all on??? damn. give me some.). Perhaps it’s a writer’s thing, maybe I’m just incompetent in this deep thinking kind of stuff.

My favourite was the nature connection theory. Absolutely ate that up. (definitely not because of my bias for plants and nature-related stuff, noooo-). You somehow connected the plants in the parable, creating these wonderful strings of text about what you saw in these plants, the implications, and then sharing those ideas to us. Give me your braincells, shina. Give me-

[Close your eyes.]

Anyway- I think you’re pretty neat :]

Have a nice day!

✨✨✨!!!!!307 ANON!!!✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

ᴬᵍᵃᶦⁿ since I was already writing a draft to respond to your previous ask. The fact you have this copy makes me hope you are saving these asks somewhere because I lost a lot of posts thanks to the great Tumblr editing system....

Happy (belated and too early at the same time hehe) anniversary 307 :] To your edits - PLEASE start writing drafts somewhere else oshsaoifas I don't want you to lose your versions again. You might say you are not a writer but you decide to write such beautiful comments and asks - value your words more :]

Anon. I have an exam this week so it will take my energy but DO KNOW YOU WILL GET BUCKET SEXYMEN SKETCH. I imagine you will see it in a few months but,,, I hope you will like it, just like you like my art in general.

I feel now in retrospect so silly I hadn't done this sooner!! While I sometimes don't have the energy to comment on other people's stuff in my own comments, I know how much joy being told your words could make someone happy :] And I love interacting like that!! Shared appreciation!!! That's why I adore Tumblr in general - it feels most organic in that ability to engage with others as a social media.

I'm glad you like the Paratober prompts! I am happy I mixed the prompts to try to get even more creative with them!! And feel free to put him in every box!! Some old art of Jester in a box:

(I gotta finally start uploading my old art I do have. There is so much...

FEEL FREE PLEASE TO LEAVE MORE COMMENTS EVEN A SILLY ONE BUT OUGHHH I am so proud of Unheard WIshes so thank you so much <333333 Glad you could enjoy

Just remember anon that I do not know your age and the rating for Filk is Mature so please respect the ratings :]]] Ao3 tagging system is there for a reason!! However I still keep on getting opinions that Filk seems to target 16+ demographic since it's more South Park style...But still, please respect it :]

Oh sure, you are so lazy *looks at your very detailed an amazing asks* so lazy. But WAH THIS IS LIKE??? A VERY RARE CANDLECURATOR APPRECIATION??? Like I know folks see Fernator and like him but to hear you like her means so much to me ;;;;;;

And hey - life gets busy :] The fact you wanted to come again, read my story and wrote this, rewrote even god knows how many times... I will always think fondly of you.

DUDE OUGH I need to return to theories, I have so many yet to share,,, you wanting one means a lot to me :} I worked hard on the Fernator theory post so I am glad to hear you could enjoy it! I might do a pool on what people could want hehe

[Closes my eyes and tries to close yours]

I think you are very neat, 307 anon. Thank you, for being you and I hope I will see you one day again. Every ask, I worry it's also a farewell. And then - you come back. I hope you are okay out there - I hope your life, even if so busy, gives you moments of happiness and calmness.

Have a lovely day, 307 :]

[kayzig]

Would you guys like to see what around 3 months of progress on a project looks like, for me?

I found my original post for the first image for when I started organizing my thoughts into an Obsidian flow-chart back on February 10th, and just took the newest screenshot below to give some perspective to what each column of stuff is!

So here it goes:

the column of red squares are "daily" notes, of what I changed or added to the "canvas" document. There's only 15 of them, because I really only make notes of days I "complete" something, so drafting or sketching, etc, doesn't count.

the column for Shadowmurk characters, highlighted in purple!

the column for Crimsonheart & Friends, AKA the Vermillion Kingdom characters, highlighted in orange! ...because I already used red on my "daily" notes, before I really put a lot of thought into the realization of how red and pink are really that place's COLORS.

finished comic pages! I may add another column for art and pin-ups when I get more of them drawn, too, but for now I am happy with this.

sometimes it's hard to feel like you aren't making progress as quickly as you like, but for me personally, getting to see the slowly-filled-in progress on this and how it came together after a few projects where I really burnt out fast or got stuck early on, has been validating.

And this doesn't even reflect the fact that it's spread out amongst sketches, drafts and WiPs that spanned from January to May, amongst weeks when I also had Adult Life / anime&video game fixations / a 25-ish hr-a-week job getting in the way.

it may not be for everyone but consider: getting yourself a fun little "accomplishments" flow-chart, it doesn't have to be for anything - I originally got the concept in-habit from a book I read on positive thinking where you just write down good things that happened to you from a day, and just applied it here to give myself a validating little boost.

[mariska]

heyyy um i got a few new followers from, im assuming, the general population migration from twitter to here in the past few days and i just wanted 2 give the new folks a lil welcome greeting so.....welcome 2 my Home Page if u are one of those people im glad u like whatever i have to offer on here lol ✌️ idk how many people are completely new to tumblr in general or how many are like, tumblr users as well who either used both and decided to stick with this one over the other or are returning because of how batshit horrible it is Over There At The Bird Shit Site rn but just as a general bit of information, this has been my "personal" blog since i was 13 in 2010 so there is definitely not any kind of concrete theme or specific type of stuff i post, i've always used it pretty much as the one online social media site where i feel like i can actually be my authentic self, so sometimes i do unintentionally ramble about random stuff on my mind or a really bad day i've had or frustrations having to do with my disabilities; i did a lot more of that as a teenager and it honestly became Not A Great Coping Method for me at the time so i try not to info dump about negative stuff in my personal life on here like i did years ago, but unfortunately because i do have a lot of overlapping issues with both physical, neurological and mental health sometimes i'm just having a real bad day and this blog ends up being the only place i feel comfortable enough in the moment to rant. i just figured it's worth mentioning in case anyone is bothered or if that is a potential trigger for other peoples' own individual struggles, these days if i just really need to get something off my chest and feel like this is the only place where i can do that it's usually regarding medical health problems/symptoms that i'm not coping well with.

i think a few people may have followed me/found this blog from my 'as seen on my disney princess tv' posts that i like to do on here, so if you are one of those new followers, hello and thank you so much for encouraging that fun hobby of mine!! i mention it every once in a while but if you're new here you wouldn't know obviously; i am always super happy to take suggestions or requests for specific movies/shows/media that people would like to see me play on the pink princess tv and make a fancy photoset of, so i will always be open to requests for that whether its by sending a message in my inbox, leaving a reply on a post or even just like, tagging my username on a post for a specific piece of media and being like 'you should make a tv post for this', feel free to do any of those if u would like to!!

one last thing for this post i promise, this one is more of a request of my own and it's largely out of my control but i wanted to quickly say it at some point; i've never used twitter for any amount of time more than like 5 minutes 10 years ago (and a throwaway account i have for the purpose of making lobby note sketches in Splatoon games since u have to post them to twitter to put them in the game which is very silly to me), so i'm very unfamiliar with the general 'thread' type post format that seems to be the norm on there, but in this past week my blog here keeps getting "mentioned" in posts that have nothing to do with me by people i do not know because its a one word pretty widespread first name, and im not mad or anything about it, but it is really annoying honestly and i know nobody is doing it intentionally so i just wanted to let folks know: if you use the @ symbol in pretty much any text on this site except like, the tags of a post, and someone's blog url/username exists on here, it will tag that user in your post (including instances like replying in the comment reply part of a post that you didn't originally post yourself) even if there's more to the username before or after the part with an active url in it (for example, one instance from this week i got unintentionally tagged in started with 'mariska' and then had an underscore with some other words past that, so my account was automatically tagged and i got a notification that i was mentioned in a post even though it was just that first 'mariska' section of the username). i just wanted to ask everyone who may not be used to the different format style of posts on here vs shorter twitter threads to be aware of that Being A Thing, because it's already happened quite a few times and i do get notified of it every time i would very much appreciate not being brought into random posts via unintentional url mentions and i will most likely just block people if it continues to happen because i'm legitimately concerned that at some point it could end up being a case of my url being mentioned in a post or reply that is actively triggering to my mental health or includes disturbing content or something like that, thankfully that hasn't been the case so far, but just please double check that you aren't tagging a tumblr user in something before you post or reply; a good way to know if you unintentionally have done that is if the word typed after the @ is like, a lighter gray than the regular black default text, and also if you go to post something and you're not sure if someone's blog got tagged in it, an easy way to check is to first save that post as a draft (there should be a click/tap drop menu next to the 'post' button on both mobile and desktop versions of this site, if you bring up that menu it'll show a few different options like 'save as draft', 'add to queue', etc) and then go into your account's drafts and see if the post has that light gray url mention link in it, it should un-link the tagged person if you do something like adding a space between the @ and the username or using a backslash before the username like @/examplename.

sorry for the super long random post about all that LOL, i think i'll probably type up a much shorter and easier to read introduction post to pin at the top of my blog in the very near future, but in the meantime thanks for checking out my lil 2020s geocities homepage lmao 😌✌️

[mcrmadness]

Gosh I feel like a weird cartoon or sketch comedy character right now. My luck is often very... selective, but today? Today apparently my luck really favours me.

One: I have decided to dye my hair this week but I realized: I just ran out of rubber gloves, and I can't go to a store to fetch new ones because my car is at a car repair place rn. So I decided to check my kitchen cupboards just in case and lo and behold - I did find EXACTLY three rubber gloves from there, of which 2 are clean enough so that I can actually use them when dyeing my hair! So I can dye my hair tonight after all!

Two: I have to do three different voluntary courses at school, they all are online courses and chose an art course as one of them. I contacted the teacher and I can do just one exercise of them and I can get the full course marked done with 10-15 photos and a couple of drawings, and THAT is going to be an easy peacy! The only difficult part will be: choosing which photos to use because I have a shitton of photos!

Third: Earlier this month, my car did not pass the annual checkup. Something something brakes etc. The man who replaced stuff about the brakes also found another thing that's broken: in the power steering. Spare parts can cost over 300 Euros and he was not able to find them anywhere. I'm already a poor student struggling to pay even this bill, let alone this power steering part. Turns out the other person who originally sold this car to me 12 years ago - HE HAS THOSE PARTS TOO. He might have a new one as well, and we can buy it from him, and I sure hope it's not as expensive as buying this spare part from a car repair shop.

But the fact this man was able to locate this issue is insane to me. I have had this car for 12 years and about half of that time, I have been saying there is something wrong with the steering. It makes weird rumbling noise sometimes, and it sometimes feels like the car is possessed. When standing with the motor running, the wheel sometimes starts turning itself, and occasionally it has also felt like that on the road. Thank goodness it has NEVER felt off on the road when going high speed because that shit would be extremely dangerous and scary. But still, for years I have been saying that this rumbling noise from the power steering does NOT sound right. Years ago, the power steering has also turned itself off out of blue. Now, my car is French so many things about it is electric (tho it's a normal car, not an electric one), including the power steering. So I always brushed it aside as nothing big after it came back because this car always has something wrong with the electronics. I have the replace the headlight bulbs regularly because it keeps breaking them so often, when I still drove more every month, I had to replace the bulbs maybe 1-2 times a year. There's probably not a single bulb I haven't changed to this car (apart from maybe the interior light).

So even tho it sucks that this repair will cost more than what it originally should have cost, I'm still so happy that finally someone was able to find the reason for why the power steering is what it is. Mind you, I have even used it at car repair shops and asked wtf is this noise my car does, and I got the car back without them really finding anything meanwhile talking to me as if I was crazy and hearing things. So I'm so happy that this gets fixed soon, and I'm looking forward to seeing whether I will feel a difference in the steering once the power steering is replaced with one that is not broken! Also very much looking forward to seeing how the brakes feel because for a few years now, I have been saying the brakes feel weird too but the annual checkups never had anything to say about them until now, so I never did anything about those. Also because car repairing is expensive AF and I have exective dysfunction, so I haven't even done any annual repairs which. Is not good either. But I've only got stuff fixed when something has broken down or the annual checkup was a fail due to some part needing fixing or replacing.

I did not mean to ramble so much about my car but here we are. Anyway, it feels good when stuff sometimes goes well for once. Better knock on wood cos I am still that superstitious.

[ciderman2k]

Drawing again

Another diary post, yay.

So after the longest time, I feel happy drawing again. I feel ten years younger suddenly. For a few days now, I've been doddling, here and there, even drawing more detailed pieces with shading, even one with colour (added below, but like, know that I failed all my attempts at artistic career in the past so, don't judge too hard 😅).

Anyway, that alone I think could be considered a mental health breakthrough. Life does feel more bearable. I'm trying to be conscious of why this happened.

First of all, I decided I will NEVER, and I mean that, for as long as I breathe, again attempt to make money off of anything I enjoy. I'm done. I will not write for money, I will not draw for money, I will not make games for money. I will not continue to let that poison taint my hobbies, and I will not be part of "hustle culture" anymore. I'm done. I will be happy being a cashier somewhere, doing all these hobbies without constantly worrying about how they fit into the capitalist hellscape.

Second, I started watching this channel Midwest Magic Cleaning - YouTube about "cleaning", but honestly that's not what the channel's really about. The guy talks about mental health. His, the people he cleans for, his wive's, whoever. He talks about autism (him), ADHD (his wife), addiction, depression etc. that all may lead to someone's home looking like horror. And I know because my flat often looks like shit because I can't bring myself to clean for weeks... (again, big step, I've been cleaning every week for like two months now) Anyway some of the guy's insights into fighting depression as a neurodiverse man clicked in me. I don't wanna jinx it, but maybe there is way out of this (my material conditions are still shit, still no job tho, so yeah, mental health is gonna be useless on the street anyway...). But I refuse to end this on moping.

Here's my thing. My whole life I've loved drawing swords. Swords are just the coolest thing ever. The whole drawing came to me in stages, originally I just wanted it to be a sketch but the ideas kept coming. That's what gives me hope for writing as well. The ideas are coming back and at the same time I have enough will to put them to paper (or computer).

I hope anyone reading this has life at least tilting in a better direction just like me. (Yeah we still live in hell, be prepared to fight for our survival against the ruling class, but like, y'know, that's gonna be another post, this one is more about the personal level).

I leave you with numetal blasting in my headphones at dangerous volume. What can I say, I'm that millenial/gen-Z grey area kid that destroyed his hearing by 15 anyway. God I love music.

[zeondraws]

Eleanor the Rotating Silver Star Project

Ok I will try to use tumblr a bit more and see if I wanna continue with this one or another website next to instagram.

So this project is something I wanted to do for a whiiiilleee. I often wanted to draw Eleanor in something different, because I felt very inspired by the new Dune movies. And I have been working on her lore for a while. Tho in comparison to other characters I have not worked on her lore too much. There are different versions of her actually. And the one shown in these drawings is Eleanor Blossom, who doesn't strictly belong to the main lore, but will be an important factor to it. Next to her Advisor Idris, who is featured in the finished painting.

Now there is an earlier depiction of Eleanor Blossom, together with WIPs I did not continue, due to them lacking something I felt unhappy with.

I get inspiration from various songs while drawing her, tho there is never just one song. Usually multiple.

I had sketched her with a potential crown at one point, but had to put the project aside for a while

So when I decided to draw her again (after an Instagram vote) I thought to myself "OK, I wanna draw her throne room, how do I do that?" I wanted to get inspiration from Mercedes Benz but I can't go to the bus plant. So I figured to check out the Museum Instead! I tried doing a bit of research of Mercedes Benz history before heading there. The story of Bertha and Karl Benz is really interesting.

The fact the Museum looks like the star from above is giving me an aneurysm

Tho, I arrived there in the afternoon and didn't know what to expect, but ended up staying there up until half an hour before closing time.

I might need to keep details out for the youtube video I wanna make, so I will showcase a screenshot of pictures I took while being there

I sketched a bit (also including pictures of sketches that I made on other days)

After the trip I sat down and designed her clothing/crown some more. And I was very happy with the results.

I also started to design the room from a top view. I had a few itterations but stayed with one similar to the top view of the museum.

And I tried making some test thumbnails of how the final image could look like

I figured to tint it in blue rather than cold red/grey and this is also the first time where I decided to use blender properly for the first time.

I was very confused at first, but after a while I understood the basics and just built something SUPER basic and use this to help myself with the perspective.

Honestly haven't felt so anxious about a drawing until this one, I kept drawing other things out of procrastination and in the 3rd and final week I told myself "ok, last week to work on it, afterwards I need to move onto the next project" and it did help me to continue forward even if I didn't feel like it. And in the end I was able to pull something off!

I feel very happy to be able to take what I have imagined for so long, and turn it into reality in some shape or form. I don't think anyone ever put an eCitaro into a dress heuheueh

and not to forget, here are some other doodles I've made while working on this.

Originally there were other doodles but for Instagram I left them out

My ass has never worked on something so complex before until this painting. Very rewarding but makes me so anxious.

I will try and start the next drawing this week and see how that one will go- aaaaa

[bisognamorire]

Beloved and dearly missed A.,

Happy Friday!

I am unsure what you would think of me writing these, because isn’t this kind of ‘not letting go’? But I thought: for me it is in a way, because I’m not asking for a response or acknowledgement and whether I type it out or not is a bit of the same, because I would tell you in my mind, if I wasn’t writing it down. I always want to talk with you. I always miss you. And you know I am always delusional and pathetic.

Two days ago, I had some nervousness inducing conversations with my therapist about me being dissociated most of the time, up to the point that I even dissociate in therapy sessions and can’t really process or understand/accept what is being said to me. And that I feel anxious to ask questions because I worry my therapist might not be honest to me when I ask her to be upfront (which is ofc my own trust issues) or might feel I’m annoying her.

We then looked closer at that cycle of dissociation and anxiety. I felt horrified to see how torn that inner insecurity (almost a grappling for the perception of reality between the “trauma brain/adult brain”) makes me feel and act at times. Sure you remember. And to get a sense of all the potential damage that volatile dynamic can cause others and myself.

This week has started with many people calling in sick to work, so I was obliged to take on more shifts than I originally had. Needless to mention that that isn’t very pleasant. I feel rather knocked out by this week. Patients and coworkers have been rather rude too — it reminded me of the time you worked in the city museum front desk. I, too, experience the general public’s madness everyday. So many bizarre things that I can’t possibly write it all down or remember it. I was once asked out of the blue, mid conversation, by a grandpa whether I was wearing a wig. An other patient complained to me that his taxi was taking too long to pick him up, but he apparently hadn’t even called one (?). Then the general babylonic discourses with russian people who are unfazed at me telling them I don’t speak russian and who proceed to speak russian anyway… 🫨

Im just constantly tired and exhausted— it reminded me of that little sketch you drew of yourself of rotting in bed and saying ‘surely theres a better way to live my life than that’.

Yesterday I rolled over in bed and stared at my wall. My blanket had wrapped around my torso tightly. I remembered you hugging me like that in the bed you had set up for me in your room on that last night and just began to cry horribly.

Not all that I feel can be expressed in words about all that.

I’ve also not slept very well all week and woke up in the middle of the night. I suppose dad and you are haunting me in my subconscious.

But — on to more ‘joyous’ things.

You know how I read up about the Somerton Man (scary) and I was very intrigued by the process of identifying him and just the mystery around that ‘Tamam Shud’ from Omar Khayyam’s Rubaiyat in his pocket. I had wanted to have a copy of that for myself (there are such nice editions with art nouveau illustrations which you would surely appreciate too) and went to a nearby antique book store after my massage last Saturday. They had a battered 1913 copy (unfortunately without illustrations) of it and some of the poems really resonated with how I feel.

Heres some of my favourites:

Three days ago the rest of my Yamato Cosplay unexpectedly arrived in the mail, so I took some joy out of completing the costume for now. I feel like my inner transmasc oni was turned outward finally! 👹

For my birthday last year Sharon’s boyfriend gifted me a box of Basilur Green Tea assortment from the russian supermarket in front of my house. I usually don’t like green tea, so I only tried it recently. In that assortment they had a few sachets of milk oolong tea, do you know it? I love it now. I drink it with two or three spoons of sugar and a bit of milk. Its not as irritating to the stomach as the Earl Grey I favour, maybe you can try it? ♥️

While we are on the topic of Earl Grey — after I have completed a cosplay of Transmasc Oni Yamato (my alter ego) I am now thinking of doing a Ciel Phantomhive or Pinocchio from Lies of P cosplay, just because they’re both giving off that assholish midget horse-lady Laurent vibes, which — as you know — is also my alter ego 😏

I’ve been doodling a bit in the evenings after work (I’ve not drawn something in so long, and why? for who?), and listening to anime openings etc. Sometimes I wonder if it is a bit cringe that I still gain joy from the same things I had when I was 13, living with my parents back then and feeling utterly lonely (still do). Here are some of the things I’ve drawn:

The first one is depicting how I feel when I am experiencing an episode of mania (also, also, blood thing/our Laurent, self insert?). I called this emotional state ‘Archangel’, because it isn’t actually me, or thats how it feels at least. It is this righteous entity, that is entitled to anger and vengeful feelings. He is 100% sure his feelings are justified. I don’t often experience the archangel or that inner ‘surety’ of my own perception, of reality. But when I do — not only does he feel anger, he also punishes me bodily for — by proxy — feeling anger through him. He humiliates me. It is almost as if I was taking on the persona’s of the people who abused me as a child. Who disallowed me from standing up for myself, and who discouraged protecting myself from them, who disallowed me from feeling angry. I am not allowed to be upset.

I’m sorry if thats tmi and makes you uncomfortable, you know I’m always too open.

The second one is Romano and Antonio in the traditional clothes of the Fallas Carnival in Valencia. This year is the tenth year anniversary of me first visiting the city (I can’t believe it! I have memories of 10 years ago!!) I booked a one week vacation there for March to go by myself and finally see the Fallas! Valencia’s main festival! I’m very excited to drink Horchata de Chufa and draw some Antonio/Romano doodles and take naps. I also booked a tour to see the atelier’s of the artists building the statues, that will surely be interesting. I already wish I could send you a postcard, but I’m not supposed to, am I? Maybe I will get one anyway and just post it here and then add it to your little box of things I keep.

Again, I’m looking forward to rest and play my video game on the weekend, when I am off (I’m currently trying to level myself up to take on that acid monster in the Cathedral of St. Frangelico) 🙄

Thinking of you fondly at the sight of the stars & moon,

your Sabo

[elecman108]

It's nearly the end of 2023, and... Hey, a lot has happened. I'll put most of it under the read more because there's a LOT to unpack this year, and if you're here to see the original posts for most of this art... surprise! Some of it was never posted! So no links will be provided to balance it out. All of my art is under the same tag though of "#drawings by me" so feel free to leaf through that on your own time.

To summarize the year, I learned (at the end of the year) that my temporary boss was overworking me for most of the year she was working there (yikes, but hey, I did agree to it and was able to... we'll say "keep up with the chaos" to keep it simple) but my permanent boss is, naturally, 1000% better. The side effect is... instead of December being a low month for drawing due to it being the busy month, almost every month is!

The new year should be better. I hope. On to the month summaries!

JANUARY - New D&D character refs made, Lixori as a rabbit (pictured). I didn't draw that much in january, but I claimed big ambitions of drawing more bunny girls. Sadly... I did not. Next year I'll sneak a few in here and there to make up for it - I do love drawing bunny girls (and guys especially) lol. Other than that... Year of the rabbit! Woo?

FEBRUARY - I... only drew this one image of perspective/mirrors practise with Irina and Axel. February was not busy. I was just really burnt out from the holiday season. It was... rough. Home life wasn't great, and I couldn't do much about escaping the frustrations during February anyway.

MARCH - The Existential Dread set in (pictured), my April Fools Day art, and a sketch dump. Yep! I drew my April Fools Day art in March! And early March at that! This month I had planned to take a vacation week riiiiight at the end of the month, but it got pushed back because the "new" staff member I was supposed to train didn't start until the end of the month. We'll get back to that.

APRIL - Sketches. The lineart pictured was never posted, but I cleaned it later (I think in... July or June?) but the sketch was dated back in April. Remember that vacation week that got pushed back to April? It's not riiiight after the first full week in May. Why? Because the staff member didn't know shit and needed more training. Fun fact: there's more to that story coming up.

MAY - Happy Birthday to me! I got my vacation (finally), and used the week to draw more D&D idiots before returning to work and... the "new" staff member ended up making a royal mess of things on my week off. She did not remain for much longer after that. Apparently she talks fondly about working for us, but by god, I have grey hairs. But this isn't a rant post, this is art! I... did NOT do much else in May. Not even a birthday art! For SHAME past me!! Although this month did give me an awesome new coworker (bless!) to replace a previous awesome coworker who moved back to their home city. We're both nerds. It's so funny.

JUNE - That Colour Wheel Meme from Twitter (pictured) and one half-assed drawing of Blaze in front of the pride month fire engine are all I have to show for this month, alongside cleaning up more sketches from back in April. My actual boss had returned and thank GOD. We - as in me, my nerd coworker, and our other coworker - are glad to have our boss back. She's fantastic. This month went by pretty well. But welcome to July, dumbass! It gets worse!

JULY - I forgot to do digital art this month. Why? Because all of my out-of-work time was spent working on doing Card Making craft packages for the clients. Sure, I loved doing it, but it was a LOT of work for not a lot of payoff. To be fair, I offered to cover the weekly groups for our volunteer who had been doing it up to that point before her two month vacation, so... hey! It's just for those two months, right?

AUGUST - Welcome to Burnout 2 (electric boogaloo), but I managed to fight it off by getting back into FNAF towards the end of July. Something about horror games really gets my brain in the good zone I want it to be in. This month I drew Eclipse (once) because of Ruin, this wonderful first draft of how I wanted my AU!Foxy to look, and then... I started work in on my FNAF Full Body Refs. Same as my D&D ones, only for my FNAF characters! I have the same refs for all my other OCs, may as well.

SEPTEMBER - If I told you I was only drawing FNAF and FNAF-related stuff this month, would you believe me? Because I did! I did the main characters for the portion of my FNAF!AU that I had figured out (SB and Ruin with a few extras from past games to fill out the roster), but other than that... Nope! Nothing else! I'm still redoing some of the old ones from back in September. My first batch of them (minus Bonnie, dunno what I was smoking when I made Bonnie bc he looks AWESOME) were a bit rough, so... New year problem for me.

OCTOBER - I did only one drawing and that was putting costumes on my full body references of the FNAF!AU guys! Whoops! I considered posting each character and info about them per day in October, but I just... didn't? Dunno why though, maybe I was just peanut-brained.

NOVEMBER - More FNAF! This time, the lineart/sketches I was doing on the side were all of my OCs, and the odd one was FNAF. Didn't post shit until the very end of the month though, mostly because I forgot to post essentially anything. Whoopsie!

DECEMBER - Yeah I've finished some of my sketches from November (and April), and have more to come. I'm redoing some of the FNAF Refs, and planning maybe in the new year to queue up posts for a while with info about each dude to sort of give insight into my AU to some degree... or... not make such grandiose plans.

Either way, my work schedule is destined to be much more normal come January, and I hope to be able to set aside a day or something to draw every week, because I love it so much. It's been a rough year! Thankfully didn't get Covid this year, but y'know... Maybe next year I'll get sick and be forced to take time off or something so that I can draw more.

Regardless, I'm typing this post up while now 6 minutes left to me leaving for work, so no proofreading for me! Any typos will remain forever.

Catch y'all later! You might see a new years' post from me, or one between now and 2024, but... don't bank on it.

For those of you who made it all the way down to the end of the post... Poke a poll or something. I've never done this feature so here's to figuring it out.

[kaylamae2023]

I Find Comfort In Change (Final Exam)

Art has always been a part of my life; ever since I was 3 or so. As soon as I could pick up a marker, was when I started. I drew on everything; furniture, walls, my cat. When I started school is when I had my first art class. It was easily the highlight of my day. Since then, every Christmas or Birthday I've been gifted art supplies, such as canvases and paint, colored pencils, charcoal, even an iPad and Apple pencil specifically so I could do digital art. I'm fortunate enough to have a family that is so supportive, including my extended family. My aunt Ksenia went to a school called the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. It's a school dedicated to all forms of art, and last summer I was given the opportunity to do a stay on campus solely so I could immerse myself in photography, which she paid for. I'm so lucky my family could afford to give me all of these opportunities, because I was able to flourish and I know most can't relate. I'm incredibly grateful for my family and their encouragement.

My art process is a little chaotic. Normally when I make art I either have a reference, a prompt, or a picture in my mind I want to create into the physical world. When I'm not drawing from a reference, a lot of it is trial and error; I think part of me suffers from perfectionism, which is why I tend to prefer drawing from a reference. When I draw from a prompt or an idea in my mind, it's harder for me to detect what exactly it is if something looks off. That's why drawing from an idea was more of a challenge for me.

I didn't want to draw from a prompt that was too cliché. It seems like almost everyone suffers from some sort of issue, whether it's anxiety, depression, ADHD, anger issues, addiction problems, etc. and naturally, a lot of people create art around it. When I try to make art that surrounds an internal issue, I just feel awkward. Most of my life I've felt like whatever mental issues I went through were not significant enough to complain about. Instead, I decided to center my prompt around me changing my appearance. Within the past year or so, I cut bangs, then my bangs grew out and I got highlights done, then I dyed my whole head blonde, and about a week ago I dyed it back to my natural color. I also gave myself a few ear piercings, and my clothing style changed and still changes a lot. I like to change my appearance a lot, it makes me happy. I think life is too short to be afraid of change, because it helps people grow and builds character. I've gone through a lot of change in my life, and even though some of it is hard, some of it benefited me.

This sketch is a memory from when I was 13 and it was the very first time I started experimenting with my style. I dyed my hair blue with some box dye I bought at Walgreens. I didn't really follow the directions I just went nuts.

The media I decided to use is colored pencils, mostly because it's the most accessible but also because I'm most familiar with it.

This is the general idea, I had a lot of refining to do, as well as add more intricate details. I tried to replicate my old drawing style, which was very cartoony. Like I mentioned earlier, my style now is more of a realism approach. But I like that my style had a very bubbly, happy vibe.

The original sketch is finally done, I decided to add a Smashing Pumpkins shirt my dad gave me :).

Finally, the sketch is colored in. I wanted to approach it with a very "doodley" feel. I tried to draw my actual bathroom at my old house before I moved, which is where it all took place.

Overall, taking Art Appreciation has definitely shaped my perspective about art a lot more. I am a big fan of the renaissance era, which I'm happy this class focused in on a lot. However, I also now have a new appreciation for modern art and sculptures, as well as performance art. I even discovered interactive art which I didn't even know was a thing. I think this class has also shaped how I'll do art in the future, especially with my creative process itself.