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#this part was so funny and for NOOOOOOO REASON
lettingtimepass · 1 year
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I WAS AT THE NERDY PRUDES SHOW WHERE THEY LOST POWER!!!
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Here is my spoiler-free recounting!
After over a decade of being a Starkid fan, I traveled 3,000 miles to see Nerdy Prudes!! (The date just happened to align with a trip I was planning.) It was so surreal being in the theater! I saw Producer!Dylan and Corey L. running around with their headsets. Then right before the show started I saw Joe Moses and Tessa walk in. Also two rows ahead of me was someone in a Spiderman hat... I was like... Is that Nick Lang? No... why would he be in the middle of the audience? Later I found out I was right 😂
For context, it was raining really hard in LA and the streets were flooding. LA is not used to rain so they're not well equipped to deal with it.
Act 1 went great and then shortly after Act 2 started, BAM, the lights went off. Everyone froze. The person in the light booth said "We've just lost power." Then, Nick Lang stood up and said, "It's going to be okay everyone, we'll figure this out." And he left to help the staff. But for a good minute or so the entire audience thought it was a bit and couldn't tell if this was part of the show or not! But after a few minutes we were like holy shit this is actually happening. It took maybe half an hour or so but we were back up and running and everyone was so hype cheering on the actors when they came back on stage.
Then, during the final song, on what sounded like the final NOTE, the lights went off again. You could hear a reaction from the actors-- I can't imagine how upset they must have been in that moment! But the entire audience erupted in cheers and instantly gave a standing ovation. After the crowd calmed down a bit Nick came back out and was like "Yeah...... That actually wasn't the ending. There are two minutes left." And we freaked out 😂 They had us wait for a few minutes, but then they decided to call it. In the words of Nick, "You're the lucky audience who gets to see this show with a happy ending!" 😳😳 So yeah - I still don't know the ending. I'm going to have to buy the digital ticket so I can see the ending and also get the full experience uninterrupted. I can't wait for the YouTube version!
SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT - Updated!
I think everyone's favorite part was the LORDS IN FREAKING BLACK!!! AHHHHH!!! JON AS HUMAN!WIGGLY was perfect! Also was he giving Onceler/TumblrSexyMan energy? 🤔 Can't wait to see how it looks on the YouTube version!
I loved Jon's anime nerd character. It was so damn good. The collective "Nooooooo" when the audience realized his death was imminent 😭😂
The parallels between Abstinace Camp and NPMD are very fun to me. "IT WAS GIRL JERI THAT DIRTY GIRL!"
DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON'T YOU PRAY FOR MEEE?
Max's pronunciation of "skel-a-in" 😭 I need the story of how he decided on that or if it was written into the script?!
The Barbeque Monologues?! And that song? Jeff Blim pls. Lauren is a master through.
Someone pointed out that all the Hatchetfield shows have in-world productions: Working Boys, Santa Clause is Going to High School, and The Barbeque Monologues. Idk what this means, but it is a nice touch for worldbuilding.
The little musical reference to Nightmare time!!
I keep thinking about how Rob M fumbled the Starkid bag 😬 But Joey did such a great job as Pete! For some reason it feels like a full-circle moment between MAMD and "Joey Richter" with him playing the nerdy character 😊
Anglea was freaking fantastic as Grace. I just love her voice and how she makes it go so high it cracks! And Curt and Kim playing her parents was so good.
There's something so funny about Angela's characters being so different - Lex vs Grace - and the fact that they would hate each other 😂 Can Angela please play both of them interacting?!
Kim freaking Whalen!!!! I love her so much.
I LOVE seeing Corey and Mariah playing father and daughter again (but it's a very different dynamic than TGWDLM).
LOVE LOVE LOVE evil/slimly dirtbag Corey. HE'S SO FINE!!
I missed seeing Jeff and James on stage - I wonder if Jeff's chaotic energy would have been too much with the horny teenagers hahaha. But James would have fit right in! Oh well, we can't have them all in every show, unfortunately.
Gotta say I didn't expect them to say "Nerdy Prudes Must Die" so many times in the show 😂
The last song having pop-punk vibes?!
Anddd...... the last scene...... (yes I finally got to see it!) GRACE KEPT THE BOOK!!! Did she say "every perv must die"? Yeah, that's gonna be a lot of people on her list... Also very similar to the end of Abstinence Camp! This isn't going to go well.......
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Trimax Thoughts Vol. 12 Pt. 2
Second part of my stream of consciousness let's goooooo
There's some kind of irony in Knives' assault leading directly to humans becoming increasingly more aware of the Plants' sentience and attempting to communicate with them - now, after he has thrown it all away, thinking it would never be possible. You could still say that the humans are doing this out of desperation (true!) but it's interesting that more people are coming around to the idea of communicating with them over the idea of "acceptable casualties and thus "dehumanizing" them (for lack of a better term) further.
Sorry I'm not sure I have anything to add but the whole story about the village gives me a lot of thoughts that I will be chewing on. "How little we know" <-our experiences are limited. I think this is the crux of it, isn't it? We spend the whole story emphasizing the mystery of Plants and the lack of understanding that humans have, but other humans can be just as much a mystery if we are not willing to find a reason for their actions - which may or may not be justification. If you don't, it's easy to see things only through your own limited lens, to become judgmental and accusing based on your own standards of what righteousness is.
Yeah I knew someone was going to panic and attack. That is still human nature.
OMG HOME, MERYL AND MILLY INTERVENTION!!! Vash you and these people have just been saved by that personal kind of love (not the distant one) that you have avoided for so long.
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Awww Meryl. "He didn't get to see me be epic!!!" I saw you be epic Meryl. I love you. (She wants to prove that she can help in a way that matters... but Meryl you already have. So much. Vash unfortunately just has serious issues with accepting help...)
"That's right. I'm not alone." <- CORRECT
Domina... :'(
Love the reversal here. We knew Domina for such a short time, and yet there's so much mutual respect between her and Chronica. Domina spent the time thinking about how collected and rational Chronica is, but here Chronica believes that Domina had the better judgement. (Fascinated by the impersonal wording here though - "salvaging the persona". Idk the language used around the Earth Independents is so interesting to me.)
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:( nooooooo...
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Heck yeah LIVIO!!!
Oh god he's so awkward 😂
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Oh he's so fucking cool
Man. Knives sees that Vash is about to die and loses most of his resolve to kill him. There is a reason he keeps needing to obscure faces before hurting Vash - either his brother's or his own. I find it so funny that his solution is basically just "you know Vash you could just stop now, you can't keep this up" - not only because this was basically Conrad's intention with Knives, but also because. there is another solution. you. could also stop. ...but that won't happen. :/
Chronica entering the fused mass!!! So they really don't have a defined sense of self. Interesting... I have some thoughts on this but as always my brain is just screaming.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"You no longer have to burn out... in a reality that's too painful to bear." HHHHHHH
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...lights... the resolve to continue only when the world goes dark and the glow of people still trying to live slowly break through it... (sorry needlessly dramatic there)
IN COMES LIVIO WITH AN ENTIRE SET OF DOORS AND THE WALL IT CAME FROM! (whoa he actually hit Knives omg...)
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Elendira jumpscare. Where did she come from???
Ohhhh oh my god. This is intense ok. Chronica is on the warpath against Knives because of Domina. Legato intervened and has some. Weird weapon. I'm. Yeah. Vash is already well past his limit and... I need to think on this because he really does seem genuinely freaked out by Legato in a way he isn't with anyone else. Anyways. Elendira coming from nowhere to attack Livio. Hm. I'm sure this is going to go well. AHHHHHH
Oh!!! Finally Legato backstory???
Ah. Ok. Holy shit. That. Explains a lot actually. His reaction to those women at the beginning of the story, even though they were all going to die in the end.
Ok. Ok. I. Legato can actually control Knives' actions to some extent. It really is a full willingness to stand by his side that keeps him there. I mean I figured but still. And Knives... trusts him to do that???
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God I just. He cut his hair. New hair, new outlook - being reborn. "Two people against the world". Two very lonely people. "I wanted to know him." "What's your name?" Wow. Ok this is so much. I feel like I need to go back and review all their scenes after I'm done reading.
Well. There are two more volumes. How will this wrap up. ?????
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ghostbeam · 9 months
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Hey can I get that satoroz essay? I’m in dire need of your beautifully crafted self ship narratives right now
Hiiiii sera sorry for being insane but i kind of went crazy abt him and honestly could maybe say more but i literally needed to shut up ajsjsjsksjsk
Oh satoroz……he is my best friend in the whole wide world and I mean that and I friendzone him for YEARS because of it like I literally just don’t believe him when he like tries to flirt or like ask me on a date I’m like hahaha yeah let’s go on a “date” like I’m treating it as a game I’m like yeah let’s dress up and shit
And it KILLS him but honestly he will wait and it’s not like he has time to even deal with our feelings on top of like. Everything else in his life so❤️ it’s fine he will just keep randomly flirting while I keep not taking him seriously and we are like grossly affectionate and don’t think anything of it and also when he is running low on his dior lipgloss and I’m still shiny we kiss to share the shine but anyways
I’m kind of like. So so soooo scared to fall in love with him and that’s part of the reason that I invest so much in the friendship and constantly brush off his advanced because I don’t think he’s serious and I am scared that if I read into it he’ll be like oh….i don’t want u like that
But also we are the worst duo to ever live and whenever everyone’s hanging out everybody is always like FUCK they’re gonna be there????? Like we are truly insufferable like gojo brings out the annoying in me nanami is like u are so fun to hang out when he’s not here and I’m like yeah I know but consider that I have more fun when he’s here and gojo overhears this and is like oh my heart literally belongs to her!!! cool!!!!!
Ummmmm I think it finally hits me that I am In Love with him For Real and I’m still like oh he thinks this is a joke he thinks it’s funny to say he’s gonna marry me (he’s dead serious and he’s not laughing) and I’m insane so I’m like hey can u stop doing that pls and he’s like oh u hate me and u want me to die and that causes like a little rift between us until hes like banging at my door like wtf wait no????? I’m in love with u and I’ve been trying to tell u the whole time Ive know u….and I’m like wtf I thought u were joking…..and he’s like WHY and I’m like bc u just say shit!!!!!
And anyways we’re like grossly in love and probably have nasty marathon sex (yes with lots of biting!!!!) and then we become even MORE codependent than before which is saying a lot cause wow were we codependent but now it’s like disgusting everyone hates us so bad and this time gojo keeps trying to propose and I’m like hahaha how funny and he’s like😐😐😐😐
There’s also like conflict because once we’re together gojo is like let me take care of u pls depend on me and I’m like no I’m independent I’m my own person separate from u and he’s like nooooooo🥺🥺🥺🥺we belong to each other🥺🥺🥺and I secretly really love that he keeps trying to take care of me but it does go against my entire being but he will break me down bc he’s good at that<3333
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cutepastelstarsalior · 4 months
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Cooke high live blog part 3 (final)
Episode 9
Joan house burn down :(
Abe for some reason wants to help solve conflicts??? That’s new.
Joan and Cleo having to share a room!!
Dr calling him, Mr b, and the robot dog family <3 their so husband coded. <3
Ghandi and jfk trying to peep on the girls…. :/
Joan don’t call Cleo a slut and whore that’s so mean, and you know, bad.
Is it just me or is this show getting more and more sexual?
THE HUSBANDS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!
Is both cute and interesting to see Abe trying to act like his clone father. It makes me wonder if all the clone have some sort of internal struggle with trying to hold the expansion with the originals? I know Joan was wondering if she’s hear voices like her mother…
This post is getting to long
Episode 10
I think these episodes on Hulu are out of order…. Episode 9 was supposed to be before 8, and this one; 10 was supposed to be after 8….
……,Ponce is giving me bad vibes. Like, I think he’s going to kill himself vibes…
JFK getting defensive when Ponce tries to be emotional and talk about feeling. It’s neat to see how angry jfk gets, like on a psychological level…
Did this dude actually die from littler????? I’m mean technically he drowned in his own blood….Wait. That makes me wonder, when a clone dies, would the government just like, revive or recline the clone? Because the clone is of a famous person, I don’t think the government would be that willing to let the clones die..
Doc. Dude let the man grief/say goodbye to his son.
Something something jfk trying to sleep in the coffin with ponce…something something grief and love and poetry….
I forgot that ghandi was accidentally sent to jail…
JFK crying!!!! Him seeing the ghost of his dead best friends!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH nice. Nooooooo jfk wishing for his friend back 🥺🥺🥺
Awe cleo comforting jfk
Hmmm don’t know how to feel about the jail rape stereotypes…..😬
“He was white and privileged” wow. Never thought I’ll heard that from a show from 2003? Interesting.
Joan gives Abe a frohead kiss :) Abe gives a forehead kiss to jfk :)
Episode 11
Omg a Christmas episode :0
“It’s been a year since the United Nations abolished religious holidays in favor of the non-offensive all inclusive snowflake day” what……wait didnt one episode it showed ghandi reading a scroll?
Cartoon holiday are cool :)
Why is their winter clothes only scarfs???
Abe having to clean dishes…:mood. :/ why don’t their job have one of those big dishwashers?
Holy shit??????? Omg my gi why they have Abe eat glass???? Why did I find it funny???
Mr b lounging on a bear rug <3
Kind of what to see fanart of Abe with scars on his mouth…
:0 claymation!???!!!!
This world feels slightly dystopian. Cars greeting assistants? A holiday to get rid of the other holidays that was successful in a year???? Clones??? 👀
Joan thinks of her, her grandfather, Cleo, and Cleo’s mom as family :)
Interesting to see Abe with anger issues
DID JOAN PUT FUCKING RAZOR BLADES IN THE FOOD?????
God please tell me there art of Abe with scars.
Episode 12
HELEN OF TROY???????? Greek mythology/greek gods are real??
The random gore is sometimes so jarring….
Makeover time whooo!! :)
Marie having a crush on ghandi is cute
Whoo jfk helping ghandi!!
Forgot to mention this, but the background colors for this show is cool. They usually solid colors a lot, and it’s mostly either cold colors; blue, purple, green; or warm colors of red, yellow, pink, and orange too. It’s cool :)
I didn’t know. I didn’t know you didn’t have a mom. Iconic.
Why is abe and Cleo in a gradient void?
Interesting to see Abe being confused on his feeling for Joan or Cleo. It does feel a bit random tho…
Episode 13
Last episode babyyyyy!!!!! Oh thank god. These post is so long…
Did…did Abe get a different foster dad? I swear he looks different…
👀 oh hey it’s all the pass side characters/antagonists!!! Cool
Joan and jfk having an emotional but random talk is neat.
Doc stabbing the actor in the eye….then wore the bloody very Carrie of him. (I never seen Carrie)
Did ghandi make out with 10 guys?????
Pounce’s ghost with Jesus????
Conga line will save the day
Stamos and the doc were total exs…..
:0 gasp Joan and jfk made out
Wow. That how it ends. Everyone frozen in the meat locker.
Hmmmm. I can see why this show was popular, but I can also see why it faded out of people’s memories. It’s a 13 episode show from 2003, there not a lot to talk about.
The show is decent. You have to get over the black humor/racist jokes, lots of sex stuff, and random gore, but AFTER those, it’s pretty ok? I think the only people that had like, character development was Abe and maybe Joan?
Season 1
4/10.
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asafeplaceforus112 · 5 months
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Invincible season 2 episode 3
Go to fucking therapy
I like the shape smith alot
Awwwwweeee her baby boy
Haaa truuuuueeee me too babe
Just go to normal therapy motherfucker
Get the W off the wall right now
Awwwee noiioooo
"Noooooooooooo don't nooo do you know how many alt girls you could pull with those figurine"
This is so awkward I hate this
IM SCREAMING AT THE BLUSH
Awwwweee his smile
He 100% calls her mummy
Who the fuck is narratting
Is that the shapesmith????
DID THEY CHANGE MY DUDSS VOICE ACTOR
good on the Europeans, it autocorrected to that so that's funny af
Awwweee noooooo
Good for them
Ooooohhhh breeding camps
Eu-nope-ens
IS THST OPTIMAS PRIME VOICE ACTOE
Holy shit!!!!
Allen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allen my baby boy!!!
I like to think Allen is the same age as invincible
Awwwweeee nooooooo poor allen
They changed Allen's voice???
"oh the title screen is nor- OH ITS ALLEN!!!!!"
You're mean ))):
Also he's got the right voice nvm
Damn she's a baddie!
The coalition leader is 100% a viltramite (can't spell)
Great Thedas is 110% a viltramite
This feels Sus af
"it has two buttholes"
Awweeeeee that's so gay
"oooohh goodness it's tentacles" good for him
Noooooo ewwwwwww I don't want to hear that
Is that Chica from five nights at freddi-
I'm gonna be so sad if she's the mole )))"
OH SHIT
HES GETTING FUCKED AROUND BY VILATRAMITE
Frozen blood!!! Come in!!!
I like how she uses a hair as a scarf
So it's someone on the council!!!
"you biclops look all the same to me" looool
)))))))::: his eyes )))): his arrrms
WHAT THE FUCK ALLEN????
I WAS SO HYPED FOR ALLEN AND THEY KILLED HIM OFF??????
He better grow back )))):
Goood
Oh she has no nose that's why she looks weird
He's going to kill allen
Piece of shit I knew it
Good for her
XDDD she uses herself as a helper for exercising
Awwee
They both die alot and experience death
Do it
Fuck him
"cool beans" nerdy prudes must die reference
I like him alot xDDD
I like shape smith alot
He's fun
Don't tell me he's going to take his fear brain part oit
He wants the fear gone so he can ask her out aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeee
They're both happy I'm so glad
Awwwweee it's a superhero spouse group
Awwwwweeee that's very lovely
That's lovely
There's one dude whose dressed like the priest dude from dream daddy
I'm worried that they're going to fuck her over
You can't drive now
Awwwweee
When they trauma dump on the first date
Rock on, I'd also let a kid watch an r rated movie
XDDDD the silence
He's trying his best
Can either of them drive now?
I feel like she just showed off the fact her husband is omni man
Awwwwweee green ghost )):
Why does he need such big candles????
Why did he pretend to sleep
Don't tell me it was rick or soemthing
WHAT THE FUCK
Bruuuuhhh
Let him talk
OH SHIT IVE BEEN SPOILED I THINK I KNOW WHATS UPSET
Williams right
Oh god I can't believe I said that ( personal reason)
Oh shit that's mean alittle
"we believe in you mark greyson" you're our only hope! Lol
That's mean ))):
Awwwee good on Amber
I'll be upset if she fucks up whilst he's away
"I love you" YES "beep beep" NOOOO
I don't want him to be evil
Ohhhhh nooooo
Christ I don't
Please don't hurt her ))))):
Oh fuck off
Arthur meme???
OH FUCK YOU SIR
fuck people
She's all alone ))):
They're such cute bug creatures
I can't imagine humans being seen as such squishy guys
Oh nooooooo
Oooooohhhh noooooooo
uuuuuuuuuuuggfffhhhhhhh I fucking knew it
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llycaons · 1 year
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Ep5: the gay porn episode
even tho we know that lwj is at the very least attracted to wwx, this early on it really doesn't come off like that at all to anyone else besides lxc. he's even harsher and stricter with wwx than he is with anyone else. of course, later on he does a 180 because he's incapable of acting like wwx means as much to him as anyone else does
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a boy is FLIRTING
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wwx goes to a lot of effort this episode to repair his relationship with lwj, which indicates a lot more responsibility and maturity than, say, jc would have us believe. though tbf, wwx isn't trying to become friends for political reasons, he just wants lwj's attention. but he's also defending and explaining his actions, and the fact that he'll retaliate when attacked is of course extremely important later on. even with all the changes he goes through and and nuances we see, his core character is intact throughout. such strong writing
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saw a blog once claim this wasn't necessarily sexual but um that's definitely how I read it. with that look? come on.
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their rooms are so gorgeous
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ICONIC APPEARANCE OF HISTORICALLY ACCURATE GAY PORN!!!!
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this is so funny to me. wwx is so shocked that the extremely uptight young heir of a famously conservative and traditional sect hasn't seen gay porn. my boy idk how open-minded the jiangs are but you are not in yunmeng anymore...tbf lxc and lqr aren't even homophobic, but the kind of distress that his feelings cause lwj have got to come from somewhere, and I don't think it's just 'not wanting to be into someone so different from the lans'
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wwx turning back the rules on lwj extremely fucking funny
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aw :(
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JIANG CHENG IS NOTHING EASY.GIF MOMENCE
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nooooooo jc don't say that
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jc is so happy to see wq, and his little pleased smile when wwx complains that she's only paying attention to jc....oh boy. boy oh boy. this is so sad
young jc is like. he's so fragile. he still has potential. he hasn't done anything he can't come back from yet. he loves his siblings. he likes a pretty girl. I mock him for the comb but it's not a great wrongdoing to be a little awkward and go for the thing that adults say girls like. it's not like he has any healthy relationship to emulate. ough.
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SO MEAN. in contrast lwj is just a huge fuckin brat
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see we rag on wwx for not telling people shit but early on at least, he was a good communicator! he saw that his actions could be misread and he took steps to clarify where he was coming from and why he did what he did
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this is still one of my favorite jokes
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wq literally is doing her job as a doctor and jc is like 😳 lady wen... I don't blame jc for having a crush but I DO blame shippers for being shitheads about a woman who is literally just doing her job
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wen ning rushing in to save su she is so. he's the weakest cultivator here and he still put his life on the line to save this guy. this is something else we'll see later, when he uses his meager position to save jc and the jiang parents' bodies, and when he tries to stand up for his fellow wens at the camp
ppl who ship jc and wn are unhinged for various reasons but the kicker is right here. wq briefly held fast to her principle of looking after her family and nobody else, but wen ning never did. he puts himself in danger for people he barely knows over and over again, with no possible reward. this mindset is so alien to jc's caution and 'I got mine' outlook that there's no conceivable way that they could ever make a relationship work. even in an AU, I could barely see them becoming friends. they're just too different at their core
whew, what a long episode. ngl, this sequence at the lake ties with the maze forest as my least favorite parts of the show. it's just so BORING. there's some character work, like wwx saving wen ning and giving him the amulet, jc getting himself a crush, and wwx flirting, but it's not enough to liven up this very dull passage. regardless, the ending where lwj bought the ES for wwx was sweet
personal highlights: ep5
wwx being very openly and vocally into male erotica. I mean how are people STILL saying he didn't know he was into dudes. boy was about to start crying when lwj destroyed his treasured collection
wwx flirting in the library. he knew what he wanted. oh and him being really good at communicating. nice job, wwx!
jc has such a nice smile it breaks my heart for him
wwx giving wen ning the protection pouch 🥺
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watchingspnagain · 1 year
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Rewatching Mystery Spot
Welcome to “No Breakfast: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!
 Up today, s3e11: Mystery Spot.
  The boys are investigating a small town that boasts one of those kitschy, touristy places that claims to defy the laws of physics and such. But when they break into the mystery museum at night, they're confronted by the owner wielding a shotgun and Dean gets shot and killed. And then Sam wakes up to the same Tuesday morning. And then Dean dies. Again. And then Sam wakes up on Tuesday, repeat ad horrendum. They're clearly stuck in a Groundhog Day loop, but who's to blame? Turns out it's the Trickster Who Will Later Be Known as Gabriel, who agrees to let them out of the pattern. But then Dean dies. Again. And Sam is left searching for a way to bring him back and goes deep into a dark place to do so. Lots of brotherly issues here, folks. It's an SPN Special: hilarity followed closely by a powerful gut punch.
 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.
 [and we begin:]
 Lor:
 bounces
 Mace:
 IT’S TUESDAY, EXCEPT ON A SUNDAY
Lor:
YAAAS
 Mace:
 *SATURDAY
 Lor:
omg I didn't even NOTICE you said the wrong actual day
 Mace:
HAHAHA
 Mace:
Asia ROCKS
 Mace:
 DEAN’S LIP SYNCING
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
YAAAAS
 Lor:
the GARGLING
 Mace:
(I feel like I may be shouting a lot in this ep)
 Mace:
 YAAASSSS
 Lor:
(i'm good with it)
 Mace:
 “this yours?”
 Lor:
SNORK
 Mace:
 annoyed Sammy is annoyed
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 and happy Mace: is happy
 Lor:
pretty sure this EXACT diner is in my hometown
 Mace:
NICE
 Mace:
I love those kinds of places
 Mace:
 so greasy and so good
 Lor:
"shuuuddup"
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 HA
 Lor:
PUPPY
 Mace:
 the GR!!
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
YAS
 Mace:
 THE LORE
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
OMG it IS a desk
 Lor:
(someone on twitter said the "piano" that falls on Dean is actually a desk and I was all NOPE, but it IS)
 Mace:
 HAHAHA IT IS
 Lor:
"wow. uncanny"
 Mace:
 funny how the brain changes it to piano because that’s what Brain expects
 Lor:
YEP
 Mace:
 oh god Dean
 Lor:
Nooooooo
 Mace:
 I mean, we KNOW what happens and STILL it’s awful
 Lor:
YEP
 Lor:
so, let's see, season 3, Sam knows how to call 911 HERE
 Mace:
“not like this” nope, it’ll be rebar, Sammy, IS THAT BETTER?!
 Mace:
 HAHAHAHA OMG
 Lor:
HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA
 Mace:
 HEEEEAT OF THE MOMENT
 Lor:
poor Sam
 Mace:
 confused Sammy is confused
 Lor:
I LOVE the way they change things juuuust a little
 Lor:
like the camera angles or who says it's Asia on the radio
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
"clowns or midgets"
 Mace:
Dean has no qualms with Sam being annoyed at him bc Sam NOT being annoyed with him spells something off…
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
"yeah, like deja vu"
 Lor:
"how is that not dej--"
 Mace:
 HAHAHAHA “don’t say it!"
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
THE JAW CLENCHING
 Mace:
 this ep does things to me
 Lor:
YAAAAS
 Lor:
TODAY IS TUESDAY TOO
 Mace:
BUT TODAY IS TUESDAY TOO
 Mace:
 AHAHAHA
 Lor:
LOLOLOL
 Lor:
definitely a desk
 Lor:
grumps just a little
 Mace:
Sam won’t say what actually happened because Dean dead is not a thing he wants to talk about for SO many reasons
 Mace:
 HAHAHAH
 Lor:
GAAAAAH
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
NOOOOO
 Mace:
 poor Sammy
 Lor:
HOW do they do that where their eyes are open but they look dead?!
 Mace:
RIGHT?!
 Mace:
 ALL TINGLY
 Lor:
"I get all tingly when you take control like that"
 Mace:
 YAS
 Lor:
omg Sam's SO DONE with the hot sauce
 Mace:
YAS
 Mace:
that ‘so done’ face, though
 Mace:
 ded
 Lor:
YAAS
 Lor:
"I'm not gonna die. Not today"
 Lor:
"and I can't" SAAAAMMY
 Mace:
OOOOF
 Mace:
“whatever this is we’ll figure it out"
 Mace:
 oh big brother Dean
 Lor:
"I still think you're nuts but okay. whatever it is, we'll figure it out"
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
SUCH a good brother
 Mace:
 YAS
 Lor:
omg Sam is annoyed with Dean
 Mace:
DID IT LOOK COOL
 Mace:
 DEAN WINCHESTER
 Lor:
"of course I peed myself. man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder?"
 Mace:
 and now he’s starting to get troubled
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
omg Dean's face as the guy is doing his little hand gestures
 Mace:
YES
 Mace:
 “just answer the question” Sam is usually the soft one but not when Dean’s life is on the line
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
"so let's just make sure I don't die"
 Lor:
that's it, that's the season
 Mace:
YEP
 Mace:
 UGH
 Lor:
ACK
 Mace:
 the squelchy sound
 Lor:
I HATE THE SQUISHED DEATH ONE
 Mace:
YEP
 Mace:
 oh Sammy
 Lor:
poor thing
 Mace:
yep
 Mace:
 “if you and I decide I’m not gonna die, I’m not gonna die.” Oh, that one hurts
 Lor:
RIGHT?
 Lor:
so, we clearly need to teach Sammy the heimlich maneuver
 Mace:
YEP
 Mace:
 “everybody’s fine"
 Lor:
"everybody's fine"
 Mace:
 OMG
 Lor:
haaaaahahahaha
 Mace:
 HAHAHA
 Lor:
"place is tore up pretty good, dude"
 Mace:
 you ARE a stud baby
 Lor:
"no you give it" OMG
 Mace:
 HAHAHA
 Lor:
haaaaaahahahahaha
 Lor:
"Doris, what i'd like is for you to log in some more hours at the archery range" haaaaaahahahahaha
 Mace:
HAHAHA OMG
 Mace:
 SAM WINCHESTER WEARS MAKEUP
 Lor:
HOW many times did they have to do this before they could do it without cracking each other up
 Mace:
RIGHT?!?!
 Mace:
“no matter what I do, you die"
 Mace:
 HOW did we not see these as signs the first time through?!
 Lor:
right?
 Lor:
LEAST BELIEVABLE thing they ever did, this GR killing him
 Mace:
 HAHAHAHA YAS
 Lor:
JUST DESSERTS
 Mace:
 YAS
 Lor:
"man can't choose his own syrup, huh? what have we become?"
 Mace:
HAHAHA
 Mace:
 god I want pancakes now
 Lor:
RIGHT?
 Mace:
 with lots of butter and syrup
 Lor:
but NOT with strawberry syrup
 Mace:
 NOPE GROSS
 Lor:
RIGHT?
 Mace:
 oh hello Gabe
 Lor:
GAAAAAABE
 Mace:
YAS
 Mace:
“that putz?”
 Mace:
 I love him
 Lor:
"he said he didn't believe in wormholes, so I dropped him in one"
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 YAS
 Lor:
"one, yes. it is fun"
 Mace:
“you can’t save your brother”
 Mace:
 AAAAAAAHHHHH
 Lor:
ooooooooofffff
 Lor:
I LOVE the way they make this fun episode tie into the season arc and just kick you in the gut
 Mace:
YEP
 Mace:
 BttF REFERENCE
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
"how many tuesdays did you have?"
 Mace:
YES
 Mace:
 oh I hate this part
 Lor:
"No breakfast." the way he says it so vehemently
 Lor:
RIGHT?
 Mace:
YEP
 Mace:
 “not today"
 Lor:
"not today. this isn't supposed to happen today"
 Lor:
GAAAAAHHHHH
 Mace:
 oh SAMMY
 Lor:
OOOOOF
 Lor:
THIS is the part that REALLY gets me. the way he just completely goes off the deep end
 Mace:
 which is what he would do, not just accept the rebar and go on with his life
 Lor:
RIGHT?
 Mace:
 sewing himself together dedddd
 Lor:
YAAAAAAAS
 Mace:
 cleaning his gun like Dean
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
omg he sits straight up in bed just like he did every Tuesday when the radio came on
 Mace:
looking in the mirror LIKE DEAN
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 oooh Bobby as trickster
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
oh god Sammy's voice when he says bobby
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
is Gabe's shirt... one of Sam's shirts?
 Mace:
 gabe as trickster as bobby as trickster I LOVE IT
 Lor:
or is it just really similar?
 Mace:
 OOOH YAS
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 omg i never noticed that before!
 Lor:
"nothing good comes out of it"
 Mace:
“it’s gonna be the death of you, Sam”
 Mace:
 and he would know - i love the foreshadowing here
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
but I think it's accidentally amazing again. I don't think they knew they were gonna make him Gabe yet?
 Mace:
 I have no idea and I don’t want to think about it. I just want it to be on purpose because that would be beautiful
 Lor:
HA! Agreed
 Mace:
 THE HUG
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
and the way Dean says the how many tuesdays line this time in a knowing way. like he doesn't know WHAT'S up but he knows SOMETHING is up
 Mace:
 yeah
 Lor:
"clowns or midgets" again
 Lor:
the WRITING
 Mace:
omg the smile and the nod
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 omg Sammy’s teary face
 Lor:
ooooof
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 GAH
 Lor:
classic SPN where the first half is funny and the last half rips your heart out and stomps on it
 Mace:
 YEP
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cubedmango · 1 year
Text
live slug reaction (aka naina watches the cm movie after midnight and provides long and dumb and unnecessary commentary) (there be spoilers inside. tread w caution and all that jazz)
THE BOOOKK i wonder if we'll get to see the pages eventually.
also remembered my au i based off it...... i gotta dig it up
the recap aka watch how hard can i cry abt krdcs story despite having it seen it like 50 times already
adachi cringefail compilation in reverse so true
HELP ME WHYARE THEY SITTING LIKE THATSHHDHD. they are just sitting . five feet apart cause theyre not gay
ROKKAKU. I LOVE YOU BUT WHY ..... who was he trying to call anyway .....
their fucking faces i cant do thsidjbfjsjd those shifty ass side glances im losing it theyre so NERVOUS IM YELLING
ADACHI MY BELOVED AUGH HE DIDNT EAT ...... and them both laughing AUGHHH theyre my everythingggGGGG
HAHAHAHAHAHA HE REALLY WAS JEALOUS OF THE CHICKEN NOODLES i thought ppl were kidding but no . oh my god
ALSO.! KUROSAWAS ROOM IN DETAIL FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! taking notes for No reasons
obsessed w how adachi so Obviously checks to see if their feet are touching and kurosawa, Aware of the powers, just does not see it
theyre so cute fucking hell.....
OHHH GIMME GIMME TIME LETS GOOOO
oh the camping trip ough. . .. would pay to be the fish just to watch this sappy ass shit irl
theyre both so dumb theyre literally made for each other i swear
Kurosawa. What Is Wrong With You. Stop Thinking Things Ur Scaring The Little Man
unrelated but omg the shots are sooo pretty i love the waterfall one....
NOT THE 'LOOKING AT THE PERSON WHILE SAYING "ITS BEAUTIFUL"' TROPE NOOOOO IM WEAK
hh.. h h n . h . . hands.. Hands
THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: 2)
OFFICE GANG IS BACKKK i missed them...... ms fujisaki my queen most of all
WHAT IS W THAT GAY ASS STARE ACROSS THE OFFICE U GUYS HELLO
ADACHIS ROOM !!!!!! sorry i like it a lot seeing it again is like seeing an old friend.......
"for us to be together forever" WHAT IF I THREW MYSELF OFF MY BED !!!!!!!!!!!!
"i wished for our happy days to last forever" AND WHAT IF I PARACHUTE JUMPED OFF A PLANE!!!!!!!!!!
also dear god knowing what happens next as they say this is . it Is.
ah . its them. tsugemina.... ha ha one part of the show i didnt rlly miss
my 'kurosawa actually cares a lot abt rokkaku when hes not busy being jealous of him' agenda REAL and CANON
THE BESTIES ok i did miss adachi and tsuges bestie-isms . they are so funny
MINATO? THEY WERE TALKING ABT DRINKS MY DUDE .......
the og soundtrack in the bg ......... Yeah
ADACHI LOOKING AT KUROSAWA LIKE THAT GUYS I CANT DO THIS I CANNOTTTT
THEYRE SO CUTE FUCK OFF (counter: 3)
comedic genius w that cut from adachi hoping for them to be together all to finding out abt the transfer
rokkaku... i am looking at him .....
ADACHI BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB SOOOO TRUE
noooo noooooooo noooOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THE FLASHBACKS NOOOOOOOOOO MY POOR HEART
seeing all the times kurosawa sacrificed what he wants for adachis sake ....... girlie who allowed this im so
Ah. Kurosawas Face..... Bros I Cant Do This....
THE BRIDGE !!!!!!!!!! THE™ BRIDGE™!!!!!!!!!!!!
KUROSAWA STOP FAKING STOP IT IM SHAKING YOU STOP ITTTT
SONS OF BITCHES FUCKING HELL THIS ANGST AAAAJAJJHDHBD. .JDJJE. DYING
KUROSAWAAAAAAAA
ep 1 parallel..... eats it up. definitely giffing this later Yeah
OUGH THE DISTANCE THE SLIDING SHOT THING (???? IDK I DONT KNOW FILM THINGS) THE DISCONNECT BETWEEN THEIR WORDS AND EXPRESSION OUGH OUGHHHH
A. AAA .A A.A..A. THIS IS JUST BEGINNING OF EP12 AGAIN WHY
hey that reminds me of the evil fic idea i was gonna write after watching the movie :)
Also. just noticed i have been talking in caps too much. sorry but 1) its late my brain isnt working 2) i gotta yell man
NEW FRIENDS who is He ........ who are all of they i need to know for fic purposes
THE PEN FUCK OFF NOOOOO . HE LOOKS SO SAD I . . .... . .. .. .HUGS HIM
adachi my talented brilliant genius amazing son . thats it thats the point
adachi my son hey hello. i understand jps toxic work culture but please. dont do that
so many pretty shots of kurosawa but he looks so sad in them..... this is his burden
adachi, alone, walking past couples/ppl in pairs..... poetic cinema
O NAGASAKI APARTMENT i am Perceiving 👁️👄👁️
kurosawa running to get his phone...... someone fly this man to kyushu Right Now
ough kurosawa pov. . always promising w angst as always
HE WAS LYING........ MY GUYS U GOTTA COMMUNICATE
THE BGM IS SOO GOOD BTW HITS SO HARD i think this is a leitmotif but brains too wack rn to recognise which piece its from
FUCK. THE PEN FUCK EVERYTHING AAAAAA WHY DO THEY DO THIS S
Looking. At the Apartment. Tidbits and Things and Blue Theme (very good and perhaps meant to match kurosawas place) but also adachi why is it . like this
47k yen flight bro............ call me unromantic bc i would not unless Absolutely Necessary
aha. foreshadowing.
oh my god okay its happening . gif
adachi jesus okay no stop stoppp go sit down please im begging you
Ah.
yuta 'jumping to grave conclusions' rokkaku strikes again . in his defense he probably didnt know anything but man
AGH. G GHH J N .. J N J JJ KDJDJD . GOOD GOD
A. . OOF . OKAY i fucking forgot abt that dream oh goodness . adachi i am psychoanalysing ur brain now
not remembering phone numbers he just like me fr
WAIT SHIT FUCJ OH . OH
SAYING THIS AGAIN. THE FUCKING RELIEF ON HIS FAAACEEEEEE IM UNWELLLLL
they hugged there btw im declaring this canon rn
fucking Finalllyyyy they Talk
"i nearly lost it" imagining his perspective and. H. . . ... hsj.. kj. ikk.w..d..
"i thought id never see you again" Who ...... why ................ to hurt me ...????? personally??????????
smashing a rock over my head during adachis lines
JESUS. CHRIST. KUROSAWA .......
OH MY GOD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (REMIX)
HANDS. PASSING AWAY NOW THANK YOU.
guys . what the fuck (<- rendered speechless)
parallel 2 !!!!!!! lets go!!!!
AH I SEE NOW. THE CARESSING. WOW......
ok a complaint here. honestly there wasnt enough use of the magic to even feel like it was missing tbh ? like it got mentioned and plot device-d but we barely heard any actual thoughts so the lack of it felt exaggerated imo
ITS THE SCENE ITS THE EDJDJJ JJHDJE BACK HUG WAUGH
aaaaand we're back to the THEYRE SO CUTE'S (counter: 4)
unrelated but how did the carpet not stain
PULLING MY HAIR OUT. THEIR PROMISE. SCREAMING
omg the besties <3 ignoring the tsugemina tho lol
HEEEEEEE omg he looks adorable..... also wow damn that was a fast time skip for 8 whole months lmao
THE FRIENDSHIPS. ACTUALLY LOVE THEM SO MUCH....
ROKKAKU I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU HES SOOO SWEET
the student becomes the teacher.....
haha . foreshadowing :D
THEY ARE. SO FUCKING CUTE (counter: 5? i think? slowly losing count)
also complaint 2 a bit suddenly but arent the subs a bit off...... not that i know any jp but i feel like they arent exactly right at times
THE ICONIC PYJAMAS RETURN also omg kurosawa avoiding the topic ohhh i wanna squish his cheeks so bad
THE SWEET LIFE DAYDREAM OUTFITS RETURN....... also the fucking choir playing every time kurosawa goes into his. . Adachi Mode. so good
PICTURES TIMEEEE PARALLEL 3
kurosawa meets the in-law (food truck guy)
OH THE MAIL SCENE AAAWWWWWWWW STOPPPPPPPPPP
guys i cannot. the matching everything. chores list . fucks sake. this is a scene from a fic i swear
my 'kurosawa is Not a morning person' agenda. real and canon
kurosawa scrunkly of all fucking time like there is not a more scrunkly chara ive seen in my life i love him so much oh my god
hey have i mentioned how cute they are yet . no? ok here it is. They Are So Cute (counter: 6 or something)
KUROSAWA CARES ROKKAKU IM TELLING YOUUUUU
oh what does that say on urabes laptop
(unrelated. had to pause here bc i felt a tiny earthquake and that scared the fuck out of me oof,, anyways back to the brain rot)
rokkaku and fujisaku u both are So real
ah them again.... looking at the besties Only
Hehehehehehe Adachi Got Plans
closing my eyes sorry i dont care abt these two at all ,,......
oh my god tsuge cursed...... king shit
ADACHI UR BRAINNN MASSIVE HUGE MY GENIUS SON..... HES PLANNING FAR AHEAD ALREADY SOBBSS
"i want to have a life with you forever and for always" this. .this. the. Head in my Hands. how am i supposed to cope with this . Hello
AAGHHGGH HUG !!!!!!!!!!
i heard the legends of the resume. i did not know it was this intricate. kurosawa my guy what the fuck
taking notes tho. hm yes birthday same as manga kurosawa..... hmmmm yes mari Is his sisters name...... hmmm past jobs (?). hope someone translates the whole thing
boy abt to pitch himself as adachis boyfriend like a stationary product. u know what? unique. points for creativity
WAIT THE REASON FOR APPLY HELP ME DNDJEJDJD THIS MAN someone please please translate this oh my god
KUROSAWA LORE!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god mari got lore too yesssss good for her
why did they reduce kazuyas number of kids.... was it an actor casting thing
OH ADACHI FAMILY !!!!!! LOOKING INTENSELY
kurosawa.......... hes so determined....
AWWWWW IM SO HAPPY FOR THEMMM best family i care them 🥺🥺🥺🥺
"welcome to our family" SOBBING SO LOUD
omg the shogi scene....... that indirect asian family brand of acceptance....... love to see it
YEAHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHH THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE !!!!!!! (refusing to think abt the next part)
chuckles. uh oh.
HEY ITS THAT SCENE . i didnt know it happened here oh
mont blanc again hehe
kurosawa did we not learn. did we not learn from the nagasaki part. my man
PARK!!! PARK™!!!!!! PARK PARK ITS THE OUUHHHHGHHGFFD [passes out]
somehow every speech adachi has given this movie has felt like a goddam punch to the stomach . Pain
losing count of the parallels there are so many Sooo Many
THE BGMMMMMMM ITS THAT ONE SONG
WAIT SURPRISE HUG OH THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. FUCK THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: i dont know anymore)
preparing my hands to be thrown later
the contrast of their houses is soo interesting me like adachis parents house being small and traditional vs kurosawas parents house being bigger and modern
and smth smth yet adachis family being more accepting of them despite that ....... Looking
saw ppl being like 'why did they bring irl problems into silly gay show' and yes i understand but also 1) this happened in the manga 2) i feel like this is kind of necessary ? not just from a realism perspective but for the storytelling??? like the point is to show adachis growth using hurdles and to show how he gets over them so without a serious scene like this i dont think his chara development would hit as hard
YEAH LIKE THAT. JUST LIKE THAT. HOW BEING W KUROSAWA MADE HIM BRAVER TO TAKE ON CHALLENGES
oh. he said it. well guys it was a good run for my online presence im going to go lock myself in my bathroom for the rest of my life now adios
OK GOOD THEY BROUGHT UP HIS SELF IMAGE AND PERFECTIONISM ISSUES . ITS IMPORTANT TO ME
"but then i met adachi. he accepted me as i am" bro i cannot. ep 7 abt to kill me next time i watch it on god
THEY DONT REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HER
adachis chara dev actually my fav thing on my planet for reallllll its insane how far hes come its incredible to see. and honestly for all that i relate to him it really makes me feel hopeful tbh...
HES CHANGED!!!!!!!!!! just repeating lines atp bc i have nothing to add but i must emphasize. Very Important
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO mama kurosawa i hope u get over ur fears entirely and then u and adachi can bond for the rest of time
"i believe your lives are yours to live" Yeah. Yeahhhhh yeah
OH MY GOODDD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (THE THIRD) (GONE RIGHT)
the growth from magic-dependent adachi in ep11....... Cries
this scene i saw already and yet. yet. . . Oh............... Wow.........
Hands.
The Bgm. normal about this . very
HANDS.
WHY WOULD THEY MUTE IT EVIL FUCKERS LET HIM SAY I LOVE YOU I NEED TO HEAR IT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH
HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEARS IN MY EYES KUROSAWA TAKING THE FALL THSISI ISSO .. ..... GUYS
THEYRE SO HAPPY I CANT I LOVE THEMMM
intro parallel .....................
DORKS. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE (counter: ???? still not enough times)
OH FUCK OH JESUS OH MU GDIIDJDJD
YES IVE SEEN THIS ALREADY. SEVERAL TIMES. YES IM STILL LOSING IT IMMENSELY . THANKS FOR ASKING!
complaint 3: why is adachis fucking wedding suit not fitting him right. huh
AGH. AGH. AAUAUSHHSJJJVJJKKE [taking emotional damage] HHRAAAHHAGGGFGHH
THE MUSICCCCC THE MUSIIIICCCCCCC THIS ISNT ALLLOWWEDDDDD
. BESTIES IM . ... ... ... OH MY GOD.................. I DONT HAVE WORDS ANYMORE. THATS IT.. ......
THE BOOK NO STOPPPPP DONT DO THIS TO ME IM SO WEAK
(i want that drawing by the way. as a painting. framed on my wall. for art purpose)
where is this location btw i would like to know of anyone has an idea
HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWINGING HANDS
well. ... .. .. im super normal after this. i swear (biggest lie told)
SHINOOONNNNNNNNN YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
if u guys havent read the lyrics to it yet please. please. they are insane.
its 3 am. no thoughts brain kurodachi. this was so worth the 7 months wait. i am filled with serotonin
i did not say anything coherent or deep at all but maybe ill make a discussion post later if i can get my thoughts in order
but first. when i get my hands on that hd rip i am going to make So many gifs u guys are gonna be sick of me i promise
anyways yeah um . .. ....... krdc will continue to be my personality for the rest of the year please look forward to it <3
ALSO . IF OTHER PPL HAVE ANY THOUGHTS THEY WANNA SHARE W ME PLS FEEL FREE id love to discuss (and/or scream in all AAAAAAs) the movie too :D
ok im going to sleep now good night
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Yuu can do it!
Part 42
First - Previous - Masterlist - TBC
Enma, Ito, and Grim had not known what to expect when they went to pick up Kuroki from work the next day. Perhaps they would be squeezed within an inch of their life by Floyd again. Maybe Jade would finally reveal himself to be the more evil and dangerous of the twins by killing them or whatever it was the guy did – because they were sure he did something, his vibes were terrible. Maybe Azul would try and rope them into yet another sketchy deal (funnily enough, despite it being the quickest to duck out of, this was the one they were dreading the most, because they would have to deal with Grim whining about how they totally should have taken the deal for the rest of the night).
Maybe they would have a pleasant day without even a minor incident!
It happens! Sometimes! Like, once! It could happen again!
But not today!
Because, the moment they stepped through the mirror, Ruggie in tow, they were almost overwhelmed by the amount of sound that met their ears. At the echoing yelling that could be heard all the way down the tunnels.
Damn. They had really hoped that ‘accidentally’ calling upon Crowley, especially over something trivial like whether he’d had sex, would discourage people from attacking them. But apparently not.
Ito gave a quiet groan of annoyance.
“It could be unrelated to us,” Enma tried, kicking off his shoes.
Even Ruggie, who by all accounts should be playing dumb, paused with his foot still in the air, his shoe half off, to give him an incredulous look.
(Enma fought the urge to push Ruggie over while he was off-balance.)
“Every big thing that has happened so far this year has involved at least one of you four.”
“It’s not like we’re trying to cause trouble!” Grim argued.
This was a lie. Grim has absolutely intentionally caused trouble before. But neither Ito nor Enma were going to say anything about it, because that was currently their only defense.
Ruggie raised an eyebrow. “That makes it worse.”
Okay. Ouch.
Ito huffed. “It’s not our fault we’re in Hell.”
Enma started to laugh at the sheer insanity of their sentence, he was pretty sure that being in Hell necessitates it being your fault, but then something occurred to him. “Wait, you still think we’re in Hell?”
“I mean. Yeah. Too much bullshit has happened for it to be completely natural.”
Enma frowned. “I mean, sure, but that might just be that we caused a rift or butterfly effect by coming here. Chaos theory, you know?”
“You can’t just say ‘you know’ and have me suddenly know –.”
“Waitwaitwait,” cut in Ruggie. “You guys don’t even know what’s wrong with you?!”
Nooooooo Enma’s mean-spirited game has been ruined…
“You assholes!” Ruggie said.
Enma frowned. That was harsh.
“It was funny,” Grim defended them all. Ito and Enma nodded emphatically. If Kuroki were with them, he surely would have, too. Enma nodded twice as hard to make up for his absence.
For some reason, none of this seemed to make Ruggie any more okay with the situation. How could Enma know that for sure, you may ask? Well, the fact that he threw his shoe at Enma’s head tipped him off.
Enma, of course, dodged (because he doesn’t like being hit by shoes, shockingly), which didn’t seem to make him feel any better, either.
Ruggie was so hard to please.
Enma shook his head to himself, exasperated. “Let’s just go help Kuroki.”
“I’m surprised you guys didn’t immediately run to do it,” Ruggie snorted.
Ito and Enma met eyes, and then gave twin eye rolls. There was definitely a reason that Kuroki had been chosen as a primary target. He was seen as weak – either because he was the one of them who had ‘official’ ownership of the gun or because they had noticed his subpar gym grades. If they immediately ran to help him, that would communicate that they were unsure about his abilities and that he was their ‘weak spot’ or whatever. He needed to prove he could hold his own, in his own way.
This didn’t stop their pace from picking up just slightly.
As they neared, they found a crowd of what seemed to be solely Savanaclaw students, clustered in a vaguely circular shape. They didn’t have to guess what they had crowded around, partially because they knew their friend, but mostly because they could hear Kuroki’s voice pretty plainly:
“– and? Who asked?”
Enma wasn’t sure whether to groan or laugh.
Kuroki ended up groaning for him.
This should have opened Enma up to laugh, but he suddenly wasn’t in the mood to.
Ito paused, briefly, just outside of the circle. They knelt to pick up Kuroki’s gun. Someone had probably kicked it out of the way at some point.
Grim started growling. Enma felt claws start to tug at the fabric of his shirt.
“I’ll kill them –,” Grim started to say.
“No,” said Enma. Because that would make things so much worse. A good percentage of the mages were still wary of Grim and his magic, and if they learned that Grim was absolutely not that good at it they’d lose a hell of an edge. But he couldn’t say that to the monster’s face, so… “You’ll be best at comforting him, you’re his favorite.”
Grim didn’t seem particularly happy about his assignment. But he did puff up a bit at being recognized as Kuroki’s favorite, so problem solved? Hopefully?
“You should deal with them,” Ito said lightly.
This was true. They had a limited number of bullets. Enma had, once, been the vice-captain of a Kendo club. It was best for him to fight off the Savanaclaw students.
However.
“Your eye is twitching,” Enma said.
Their grip tightened on the gun. “I am aware.”
Enma snickered, pressing a hand to his chest. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll deal with them.”
Ito didn’t seem all that comforted by this fact. But they shook their head to themself, visibly steeling their nerves, before cocking the gun.
Several animal ears flicked at the new sound, and the chatter and jeering of the crowd immediately died.
Ruggie in tow, Enma pushed his way to the front.
Kuroki looked… worse for wear. He was leaning back against the glass wall in a way that seemed less casual and more he couldn’t support himself on his own. The skin of his neck was a mess of angry reds. There was a wound lost somewhere in his messier-than-usual hair, only noticeable thanks to the blood gluing one of his electric blue eyes shut. A hand was cradling his side, purposeful in the placement of his fingers, physically holding himself together.
Despite all this, he was actively using his other hand to flip off his assailants. Bloody lips split into a cocky smirk.
“You’re all bitches,” Kuroki taunted. “Cowards! I mean, it's smart, I guess. It’s obvious you know you’d lose any fair fight you get into. But, y’know, at least I am willing to take it when I have to. How do any of you expect to get by as athletes or whatever it is if all you can do is kick people who are already down?”
“Yeah, literally,” Enma said.
Kuroki groaned. “Ecchan –.”
And then he seemed to realize that there was a reason as to why the blows had stopped coming. He lifted his head, slowly, to look at his friends. For a moment, the cocky, purposefully infuriating smirk on his face widened into an actual, full-on smile.
And then he dissolved into a mess of (mostly) fake tears.
Manipulative prick, Enma thought, almost fond save for the mild pang of annoyance when he realized that it was actually working a little on him regardless.
Grim was quick to fly over to the boy, searching through their backpack for their supply of emergency healing potions. Ito was a little slower, their face a little greener, but still they knelt down beside him. Kuroki grabbed their sleeve and tugged them closer for comfort that they, somewhat reluctantly, gave. They wrapped careful arms around him, threading a hand through his hair, only wincing slightly when Kuroki’s chin, dripping red, came to rest on their shoulder. Kuroki’s expression twisted once again, into a strange little smile, his eyebrows raising in a way that screamed ‘ooooh, you’re in troubleeeee’.
Enma almost laughed at the familiarity of it all. Save for all of the blood and soon-to-be bruises, it was close to those times when Kuroki would fake cry just to get Enma in trouble. It didn’t genuinely work, Ito never believed it, and Enma never actually got grounded or whatever, but it was fun to mess around and pretend.
But the wicked look on Kuroki’s face wasn’t aimed at Enma for once.
Right.
Enma heaved a sigh, turning back to the group of Savanaclaw students. They were visibly confused, looking between themselves for answers no one seemed to have. Why had Ito picked up the gun when it was pretty clear that they had no intentions of using it anytime soon? Why wasn't their monster attacking them to create the more even fight Kuroki had been spouting off about?
Why were they acting like they had already won?
Enma wasn’t going to complain about the brief reprieve. It gave him plenty of time to do a quick assessment. It seemed like there were three main people who had attacked Kuroki, judging by the cracked and bloody knuckles on two of them, and the last’s messy clothes which suggested some kind of scuffle. The rest of the people had probably just been watching the show. So, those three were most likely to fight back, where the others might be more hesitant to hurt a poor, helpless magicless human (directly, at least). 
He took a moment to unbutton his suit jacket and toss it onto Ruggie – mostly just because he wanted to annoy the hyena, but also partially because he was barely resisting the urge to pick up the yagujen and throw him at the asshole Savanaclaw students, and covering his face was the only solution he could think up on the fly.
He groaned and stretched his arms over his head, readying himself for an unfair fight.
On the mages ends, of course.
Because, if there was one thing that he had realized over the past few days, it was this: mages rely on magic way too much. Given an option to neatly and fairly exclude Malleus Draconia from the tournament? Too easy, magical sabotage is clearly superior. Path obstructed by greenery? A new method of cultivating plants isn’t needed, just chop through them with wind magic every day. Writing hand broken? Don’t take the opportunity to learn how to be ambidextrous, just use magic!
The fistfight between Ace, Deuce, and Jack? Sloppy. The schools attempts to non-magically bully them? Fucking pathetic.
Have three people saying that they will ruin your revenge plot? Don’t bribe the notoriously broke students, that would be stupid. Instead, pull petty shit like this!
Mages were useless without their magic. And Enma understood, he would probably be the same given their circumstances.
That didn’t mean that he didn’t intend on exploiting this weakness as much as possible.
He didn’t have a weapon on him, but he would make do.
He punched the nearest Savanaclaw student with all the anger a magicless student forced into a school full of mages in a completely foreign dimension could muster.
Which is to say, the guy went down.
Their chin cracked against the glass. As his jaw made a cracking sound, not the glass, which was surprisingly okay. Must be magically at least somewhat magically enforced. But then why bother making people take their shoes off when entering Octavinelle?
Hm…
He could ponder that later.
For now, Enma shook out his hand.
“So sorry, senpai,” he said. “Looks like my hand slipped.”
Needless to say, the Savanaclaw students were not pleased by these new developments.
(“Can I – hic – have my inhaler, too?” Kuroki panted. “I think. I triggered. My not-asthma. While fake crying.”)
Claws tore the sleeve of Enma’s shirt. Ugh, Kuroki was going to complain so much about repairing that. He kicked in the offender’s knee in retaliation.
(“Kuroki,” Ito scolded, immediately pulling away to start searching their backpack.)
A particularly heavy hit slammed into Enma’s cheek. He returned the favor. Dully, he wished for rings.
(Grim hovered by the pair of them. Not quite like he was trying to ward off any Savanaclaw students that might try and wander over, but instead like he wasn’t sure how to help. Kuroki, however, knew exactly how the monster could help, and dragged Grim into a tight hug to use as a kind of stress ball. Grim complained loudly about being squeezed too hard, but made no moves to even readjust himself in the boy’s arms.)
A hand pulled his hair, which was messed up. He tore his head out of their grip and sunk his teeth into their arm. Call it Grim rubbing off on him or turnabout being fair play – seriously, who pulls hair, this bitch deserves a possible infection – all Enma cared about was that it was effective.
(“Ruggie, the halls are made of glass I can fucking see where you’re going!” Ito yelled, shoving the inhaler clumsily into Kuroki’s hands before running after the boy trying to disappear into the Mostro Lounge.)
The guy that had landed a hit on him was coming back for seconds, and Enma decided he would make them regret it. He kicked them where the sun doesn’t shine, and watched their animal ears flatten in shock and horror, and then their tail bristle as they sank to the floor.
Oooh, maybe he could try stepping on someone’s tail next, see what happens –.
A gunshot ran out.
Ruggie shrieked.
Enma glanced over and smiled when he found Ruggie standing in front of a spider web of cracks in the glass. The yagujen’s tail might not have been long enough to tuck itself between his legs, but it was certainly there in spirit.
Ito’s head tipped back, towards where the sky would be if there was one in this pocket dimension, before sighing.
And then they tackled Ruggie.
The glass finally gave way under the force of two humanoids crashing into it, and the pair were sent out into the water.
For a minute, it was mostly silent, save for the rush of water entering the hall. Students watched on in a fascinated kind of horror as Ito and Ruggie wrestled in the brine, pulling at each other’s hair and clothes, bubbles streaming from their lips.
And then Savanaclaw students started rushing towards the hole to try and fish them out before they drowned. Or, worse, Azul Ashengrotto found a way to save them and put them all in his debt.
Well. Guess the fight is over.
He should probably do… good friend things. Whatever that was.
Enma breathed a sigh, and made his way over to Kuroki. He glanced his friend up and down. Kuroki and Grim were clinging to each other – it was hard to tell who was comforting who. He was, frustratingly, still not healed up. He had finished with his inhaler, but had yet to take the health potion, instead opting to roll it around in his fingers.
Enma cracked a grin.
“So. Ecchan?”
Kuroki blushed bright red. Unfortunately, he chose that exact moment to decide that healing his injuries was worth the terrible taste.
~
Four kids sat in the middle of Octavinelle. Two were covered in blood and bruises – though, Kuroki was currently nursing a healing potion (he couldn’t seem to get more than the tiniest of sips in at a time without cringing), so at least the more injured one would be fine soon enough. The other two were sitting in a puddle of their own making, dripping wet, looking very much like pathetic wet cats.
Really, they should all be grateful that things were only as bad as they were. Kuroki and Enma were still conscious and capable of movement. Ruggie and Ito were still able to breathe oxygen. Really, things had gone about as well as was realistically possible.
None of them were intent on celebrating, though. Because the hole in the glass walls of the tunnel they resided in had been patched with a wind spell. They could barely feel the magic, even while sitting as close to the hole as they were, only noticeable in the slight tug of their hair.
There weren’t many people who could perform this kind of controlled, precise magic on such a large scale.
And only one person who would have cared enough to bother.
Crowley paced back and forth. His shoes kept clinking against the glass. Enma, dully, wondered if the glass beneath them would shatter under all of the stress.
He sure hoped not. His knuckles had split open during the fight, and he didn’t think that salt water would help soothe the pain.
“– can’t leave the three of you alone for a day! I don’t know why I gave you that gun! It’s been two days and I have so much to clean up and several complaints! You three cause me so many problems, honestly, if I didn’t know that it would leave you homeless I would have expelled you months ago!”
Ruggie’s head shot up at the revelation. He squinted at the headmaster for a minute, and then turned to scrutinize the Yuus. Apparently seeing them in a new light.
Enma fought not to bristle. He didn’t want Ruggie’s pity.
But, even more, he wanted to make sure that the Headmaster didn’t see him as too aggressive and throw them out despite his claims that he wouldn’t. Because, as much as the Headmaster claimed he didn’t want to leave them homeless, he almost expelled them on their first day. It was clear that, if money was involved, Crowley had his priorities. And they had just cost him a whole lot of money.
“And you,” he said, whirling on Ito. “I expected better from you, at least.”
Ito didn’t even bother to meet the Headmaster’s pinprick eyes, apparently busy wringing out their hair. Their expression was flat, but… Enma thought they might be feeling a little guilty?
“I tried to warn you.”
Crowley gave them a flat look. “Saying ‘Sorry, Crowley’ immediately before causing property damage is not a warning.”
“Not my fault you weren’t close enough to help,” they sniffed.
Okay, nevermind on the guilt thing. They might just really care about the state of their hair. Now that he thought about it, Ito used to get really annoyed when Enma and Kuroki used their shampoo and conditioner, back before they had apparently given up all hope and accepted the inevitable.
“I could make you sorry,” Crowley said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I should confiscate that weapon of yours.”
Kuroki gasped and hugged his recently-recovered gun to his chest. “No! It’s mine.”
(Grim looked to be jealous of an inanimate object.)
Ito looked at Kuroki for a minute before sighing, their hands falling from their hair. They finally met Crowley’s eyes, if only for a second before they shifted into a seiza. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Crowley’s lips twisted in a complicated array of emotions Enma couldn’t even begin to decipher.
He patted the top of Ito’s head. Once. Before he remembered that they were soaking wet and flinched back in disgust at his newly-dampened gloves.
“I will allow you one more chance. However, you will be the one to file the insurance claims and hire the contractors necessary to repair this.”
Privately, Enma thought that Ito would have probably been stuck with the paperwork even if they hadn’t been the one to cause all of the damage. However, he, wisely, remained quiet. If Crowley was going to let Ito off easily – accidentally or purposefully – then Enma wasn’t going to be the one to ruin that for them.
With little more than a huff and a swish of his cape-wing-things, Crowley was gone.
Ito flopped back against the glass floor. This was not a particularly safe thing to do, but it was fine, apparently.
Ruggie, on the other hand, was distinctly not fine. “This is blatant favoritism.”
“Be more likable and maybe you’ll get some favoritism of your own,” Grim said, apparently still bitter about being replaced by a gun.
Ruggie didn’t take it too personally. “Look who’s talking!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“If you don’t already know, then I think you might be beyond saving, bud.”
Grim sunk his teeth into Ruggie’s calf. Which was really just proving Ruggie’s point, but Ruggie was in pain now so did he really win? Not really.
Enma snickered as Ruggie began frantically trying to shake the monster off.
And then blinked when glass clinked against his teeth. Kuroki was determinedly not looking at him, which was a… funny choice, considering he was the one holding the rest of his healing potion to Enma’s lips.
Enma really didn’t need it, he had dealt with worse than a couple of bruises and scrapes in his club, but he didn’t bother arguing with Kuroki about it. He took the potion into careful hands. “Do you think this counts as a second-hand kiss?” he asked, because frankly annoying Kuroki sounded much more fun than dealing with the real emotions or, worse, dealing with the terrible taste of healing potions.
Kuroki, predictably, bristled and started spitefully reaching for the potion again. But Enma noted that, despite his protests, there was no real force behind his actions. He wasn’t actually trying to take it back.
Or, at least, Kuroki didn’t want the potion to spill on him.
Enma chose to believe it was the first one, though.
~
Ito came home smelling, disturbingly, like smoke. Now, to be fair, the smell of smoke had lingered on all of the Ramshackle kids ever since they had started hanging out with Grim, despite their best efforts to get the smell out. Mainly because, the second they tried, the monster would start rubbing all over them again to ‘fix’ this wrong. And they could not afford that much detergent. So, smelling like smoke was just a part of life for them nowadays…
However, Grim’s magestone had a few dark specks in it, so it was safe to assume he had recently used his magic.
“I’m going to take a quick shower –.”
“What did you do?” Ruggie asked, narrowing his eyes at them.
“Nothing that affects you,” Ito promised.
Ruggie looked at them for a moment longer, trying to determine if that was actually the truth. And then he shrugged, going back to folding Leona’s laundry. Apparently, that was all he cared about.
Kuroki, however, was not quite as quick to let it go: “What’d you do?”
“Went to a bonfire!” Ito said brightly.
“... you burned their homework, didn’t you?”
“Yep. And their notes. And their textbooks. It’s the first part of my three-step plan to ruin their high school years.”
Enma and Kuroki stared at them.
“What is the plan?” Kuroki asked, not quite disturbed, but definitely wary.
Ito smiled and refused to elaborate.
“Deserved,” decided Enma, going back to his non-burned homework.
1 note · View note
none-ofthisnonsense · 2 months
Text
Merlin S2E5, “Beauty and the Beast: Part One”
Okay so troll lady becomes Empress of the Racnoss. All cool.
Sarah Parish is a GREAT actress I love her so much.
Morgana is so beautiful in this episode.
Uther is TAKEN with her.
For once Merlin is not at fault and I must say it makes a nice change.
The picnic looks nice but also they clearly haven’t actually eaten because have you ever tried to put food down on a slope that steep? Especially fruit? It will roll and fall.
BAHAHA HER THROWING THE FOOD AWAY IS SO SUDDEN AND UNNOTICED IT’S HILARIOUS
Gaius for someone so wise you always trust Uther too much
What the fuck are they doing lying together in a private room
Okay you can stop with the compliments now Catrina
PFFFT UTHER REJECTING HER
oh he looks like he has joint pain
Merlin what the fuck are you doing in Arthur’s chambers
“I have no doubt, Merlin, that you have prepared a very good explanation for this.” This episode is just funny, and the delivery of Arthur’s lines is hilarious.
“We have reached the point of no return.” PAAAAAST THE POOOOINT OF NOOOOOOO RETURN, NO BACKWARD GLANCES OUR GAMES OF MAKE-BELIEVE ARE AT AN END […] PAAAAST THE POINT OF NOOOO RETURN, THE FINAL THRESHOLD - WHAT WARM UNSPOKEN SECRETS WILL WE LEARN beyooooong the poooooint of nooooooo reeeeeetuuuuurn (sorry the POTO fan in me came out, summoned by Gaius’ line)
This episode is comic relief
To be fair for once Uther is logical. I wouldn’t believe Gaius either tbh
UGH THIS SERIES EXPLORES POWER IMBALANCES SO WELL
You two ARE rushing into it though
Enchanted Uther’s voice is different (a testament to Anthony Head’s acting)
Merlin and Gaius working together! And Gaius advocating for the use of magic?? Especially in front of the King and Arthur?
Gaius snoring while Merlin is annoyed by the work is A Mood
This knight has something in his voice and I like it but that’s maybe just because he reminds me of my best friends
Morgana and Arthur’s FACES
Arthur is understandably confused.
I love how Gaius says “MerLIN” but Arthur says “MERlin”
Okay so Merlin’s trapped
A royal wedding can’t happen so suddenly for various reasons but I digress
Theme music when Merlin breaks the wall!!
See the thing is. Le Trégor is a region in (French) Bretagne and I even have family from there so the name works, especially with some Arthuriana (la forêt de Brocéliande, etc) happening in France. But
also assuming this is in Wales why would (the real) Lady Catrina come all the way over the Channel
So now the troll is queen!
0 notes
delicrieux · 3 years
Text
—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER
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extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 
pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao
author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao
ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist
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You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.
A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?
Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.
A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”
mother i crave violence
sensing evil energy rn!!
i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖
^with peace and love shut the fuck up
“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”
You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”
Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.
“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 
rip headphone users
i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears
yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭
To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.
Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 
queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?
Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie
akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.
Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.
There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.
The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.
nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!
^pack it up girl defined
“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”
You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 
“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 
i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 
shes trying give her time
ya dig??? y not capeesh
what scene from the godfather is this lol?
“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.
Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎
You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”
The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.
Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:
I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.
You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.
“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”
NOW she considers it
well....
if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3
Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”
Onto the bio:
You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 
“What the fuck did I just read?”
The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.
The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 
But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.
No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.
“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.
WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????
tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be
^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell
look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling
It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.
What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.
Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.
YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 
...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.
You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.
“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.
“What?” She grits.
“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”
“What did you do now?”
“I made fun of men on Tinder.”
She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”
“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”
“Y/n.”
“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”
She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.
Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.
You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(
my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?
Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 
Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!
You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?
my husband Not jealous.
Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”
He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!
my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.
You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao
my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?
You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs
my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)
Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.
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hope you liked it!! xx
952 notes · View notes
anika-ann · 3 years
Text
One Door Closes... (S.R.)
Type: one-shot, pretty much canon
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 2700
Summary: For Steve, your door is always open... or he thinks so. And even when it isn’t, it is.
In which one small Zoom mishap leads to an (un)usual ‘welcome home’.  
Warnings: brief mention of blood and violence, lightest angst, attempt at humour, crack-ish, fluff and language
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A/N: For @anjali750, because this is totally her fault. Thank you for inspiring me :-* Have a little bit silly weekend reading, y’all!
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“Tell me about it,” Steve encouraged you gently, soft smile playing in the corner of his mouth despite the pain it must be causing him due to his busted lip.
You couldn’t but grin at the lenient picture he made. Feeling blood rush to your cheeks at the thought of him probably calling you cute in his mind if his expression was anything to go by, you obliged, proceeding to tell him about the new project at work.
Your project. Because somehow, you finally earned your boss’ confidence and could bring the great ideas in your mind to life.
You felt so giddy just talking about it! So you started explaining, excitedly gesturing with your hands so Steve would get the right visual and you grew so enthusiastic that you almost forgot to keep an eye on him.
But you were watching him – always.
His lower lip was split, but already healing – it would have healed much faster if he stopped tugging at the healing skin whenever he talked or smiled at you from the screen. He looked a little drowsy, a shadow of a bruise forming on his cheek, but as far as you knew, those were the only injuries he had; that and many hours of sleep to catch up on.
Steve had a habit of calling you via Zoom whenever he got back to the Tower from a mission. He usually took a quick shower and was online until the last second before he had to leave for a debriefing; the only reason why he didn’t head straight to your place.
He admitted once that he loved seeing your face and talking to you even if for a moment after a mission, that it grounded him. On a very sappy and loveable moment, he even called you his sun; and the fact that after few minutes of being with you – as much as technology allowed – his face always seemed brighter, made you think that it truly was how he felt.
Even exhausted as he was now, you could tell his half-lidded eyes shined with life unlike when you started the call.
And so you kept rambling, feeling your heart bursting with love for your man and with euphoria, because goddammit, finally some recognition at work!
“Well, obviously, to reach as much general public as we can, we’re gonna launch a world-wide campaign! World-wide!” you emphasized with a blinding grin, throwing your hands wide to demonstrate.
---and your fingers caught in a cord from the laptop, pulling at it.
Steve’s benevolent face disappeared as your screen went black.
Because of course it did.
You had been talking yourself into buying a new laptop or at least having this one fixed for a few weeks now, because this was always the result whenever you accidently unplugged it. The battery was useless, ready to retire.
“Motherfu--- ugh!“
You wanted to be mad at the device – but this was totally on you.
Sighing, you hooked up the laptop again, waiting for it to wake up from a coma, shooting Steve an apologetic text in the meantime. Closing your eyes, you let your forehead lightly fall against your desk, mentally cursing yourself.
Dummy. If you only weren’t so lazy… and didn’t hate certain aspects of adulting with so much passion… you could have been talking to Steve-
Your eyes flew opened when it felt like it was quiet for too long; no reply to your text. Dread filled you and you quickly reached for your phone again, this time to dial.
You prayed you were wrong; but as the phone kept ringing with no one to answer it on the other end, you felt misery creep up you back and whimpered. Sliding your phone on the tabletop, your not-so-deft fingers stumbled over the keyboard, harshly welcoming it into the world of living by opening Zoom again to reconnect the call.
Your breath hitched in anticipation as the window opened---
An amused and yet somehow unimpressed face of Natasha Romanoff welcomed you and this time, you didn’t bother slowing down as your head hit the desk. It hurt, but that was only a presage of the real pain.
“Nooooooo,” you whined loudly, faking and not quite faking a sob, because shit.
“Oh yes,” Natasha hummed nonchalantly.
You straightened a bit in your chair, narrowing your eyes at her as you noticed the corners of her lips twitching while she pretended to be busy checking out her possibly-mission-broken nails.
“It’s not funny.”
She snorted and glanced at your no doubt desperate face.
“It really is. But also kinda sad,” the spy noted, something resembling concern flickering over her face before she scrunched her nose, irises twinkling. “And disgustingly cute. It has Rogers written all over it.”
You glared at her some more, not even bothering to roll your eyes.
“Tell that to my landlord,” you muttered under your breath, leaning your elbow on the tabletop and dropping your chin to you palm. A second later, a brilliant idea hit you and you tried to manipulate your legs from under you.
The thing was, even if you had a pretty good idea of what was coming if you didn’t stop it and knew that it would be a bitch to deal with, Natasha was right.
In a way, it was utterly cute, disarmingly charming and entirely heart-warming. Your stomach fluttered, the fabled butterflies flipping their wings, your face grew hot and your heart… well, it felt as if it was growing in size.
It was also sad, heart-breaking even; Steve, especially after a mission, was a man running on instincts. It was one of the reasons why he had developed a habit of calling you, why he wanted to hear you ramble about your either boring or exciting but always wonderfully normal day. A day which involved no shooting and no blood besides papercuts and a quarrel with your stubborn boss who shoot you glares at best.
On a mission, these carnal automatisms often meant survival. But back home, Steve didn’t want to be a sum of instincts of survival, fight and fear; he wanted to feel again. And with you, he did. He wasn’t just a Captain America, a soldier to be put on battlefield whenever the general found fit. He was a human being. A wonderful one at that, with beautiful soul.  
So yes. It was also rather upsetting.
And in a way, it was a little funny too. You knew it was totally your fault and that Steve was being kinda ridiculous, because he knew you and your inclination to wild gesticulations ending up catastrophically. On top of that, he was aware of this particular problem being almost a daily occurrence; hell, he tried to talk you into having Stark look at your laptop and failed.
And now... well. Here you were.
“You know, maybe if you get up and welcome him with door opened…” Natasha teased you with your own genius ides and you grinded your teeth, frantically trying to move your foot, which was pretty much on fire and yet dead.
“I would, but I… eh, pins and needles, was sitting on my feet,” you explained, embarrassed, testing whether your feet could carry you or not, naturally finding that without support, you’d be down before you could take as much as a step.
This time, Natasha didn’t snort in amusement.
Instead, she graced you with an outburst on honest full belly laughter, her red hair unfairly shiny for a woman who just spend week on a mission in damn Moldova and probably kicked more asses that you could imagine.
“You know what, Romanoff…” you grunted, forcing yourself to wobble towards the door. Very slowly. And cautiously. Knowing your luck, you might actually get hurt.
“I’m not even sorry,” she choked out and then continued to howl in laughter. “You so deserve each other. I finally know what the ‘idiots in love’ mean. Thanks for that!”
“You’re very welcome,” you huffed, voice dripping with irony.
Finally able to put full weight on both of your feet, you headed towards the exit – and entrance – of your apartment.
Halfway, you decided it was a lost cause. You would be willing to bet that the moment you’d touch the doorknob, you’d get hit to your face. It wasn’t worth it.
Yes, maybe if you did get hurt, it would make Steve think twice before coming all guns-and-shield blazing into your apartment; then again, it would probably cost you a broken nose.
Not to mention Steve’s tendency to get swallowed by the enormity of his guilt.
So not worth it. Best if you stayed put.
That was what you kept telling yourself when you stood there for about two minutes, in which you’d be able to open the door about forty times. Your annoyance – mostly with yourself and the cackling redhead – and the anticipation was becoming unbearable. As seconds ticked by, you were trying to convince yourself into taking the last few steps and opening the door and save yourself some trouble---
You yelped when the loud bang rattled your apartment the door sent flying of their hinges along with a spray of powered plaster despite knowing it was coming.
A glint of metal appeared next, the striking red, white and blue no longer there as it was covered in more bland colours for stealth missions.
And then a large figure cladded in blue shirt and grey jeans entered, his chest heaving, face flushed with red. Piercing blue eyes wiped of all previous traces of tiredness scanned the room, instantly falling on you as you awkwardly stood there, dumbfounded, startled and utterly speechless.
Also, much to Steve’s puzzlement, you were perfectly fine otherwise – even with both legs functioning, no remnants of pins and needles present.
Steve eased his posture instantly, eyes narrowing and then widening as he looked you up and down, lips parting in genuine surprise – and relief.
He said your name, clear and almost reverent, dropping the shield on the floor with a clang.
The ‘hi babe’ got stuck in your throat as you could see the tension leaving his shoulders, his eyes turning glassy and absent despite relief rolling off him in damn tsunami waves.
It hit you like a train – that you were delighted to see him, actually see him, even under these circumstances; and you truly didn’t want him to withdraw to some freaky brain-space after he had probably got one of the most ridiculous scares of his life due to the fact that his brain was not fully back in the normal world.
In the normal world where you abruptly disconnected a call without warning, because you talked too animatedly and not because some terrorist high on the FBI’s, CIA’s, NSA’s and SHIELD’s most wanted list found out you were Steve’s girlfriend and decided to take you out.
So to prevent another psychical horror trip of his, you went for distracting him – with a very relevant issue.
“You broke my door.”
Steve blinked, gaze refocusing on you fully, simply staring for a long moment.
“You went offline,” he objected quietly, a hint of accusation in his voice. God, you missed his voice.
“You broke my door, Steve.”
As if hearing his name was a spell, his frozen figure came to life and he took a cautious step closer, repeating his previous statement, this time with a hint of guilt.
“You went offline.”
“And you broke my door. That’s the second time this month, Steve! My landlords gonna k--- be real pissed at me,” you corrected yourself in the last second, not wanting say kill.
Steve ignored the slip and apparently got the message, his face twisting in genuine apology. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it!”
With efficiency of a supersoldier, he spun on his heels and rushed to pick up the door as if it was lighter than a paperweight and swiftly put it in place.
Only for the door to slowly tilt his way again. He caught it with a loud curse and moved it aside, leaning it partly against the wall. The action sent more plaster down onto the floor, like the only truly white snow in New York City. Peripherally, you noticed Steve grimacing, his face an expression an epitome of yikes.
You let your eyes slipped shut, shaking your head with a sigh, but couldn’t but chuckle. When you looked at Steve again, he resembled a 240 pounds giant Labrador puppy, truly regretful, approaching you reluctantly as if he was afraid you would slap his big paws for being clumsy.
What he would deserve was for you to clip round his ear for impulsiveness, but could you blame him? God knew what he had seen in Moldova in the past week, what horrors he had lived through and what a nightmare his mind had created when you ‘went offline’.
Him barging in like this due to your own dumbassery was kinda sad; a prove of his demanding job full of terror.
It was cute and heart-warming, because he just cared for you that much.
It was a little ridiculous, because as Steve finally crossed the distance between you two, the head of your elderly neighbour peeked from behind the empty doorway, puzzled and rather concerned.
You snorted unattractively, the scene in front of you seeming epically hilarious all of sudden.
“I’m good, Mr. T!” you called over Steve’s shoulder after the poor man who gossiped like an old woman and was just as hospitable. “Just my boyfriend fussing because of a technology fail!”
A grin spread on his wrinkled face; a testimony to years of laughter and amiability. “Oh. Hi, Mr. America!”
“Afternoon, Mr. T! I am verry sorry for disturbing you.”
The older-looking man waved off Steve’s politeness.
“It’s fine. You keep taking care of your lady, Mr. America, and keep her safe!”
“Yes, sir,” Steve humoured him with a salute, earning a wink.
As your neighbour walked away with a fresh topic for his Sunday tea party, Steve turned his attention to you again, eyes searching, wide, apologetic – but also soft, taking in the view of you, revelling in it.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered lowly, the lopsided smile you loved so much gracing his face, once again pulling at that damn split lip. You grimaced a bit, the sight of him almost brining tears into your eyes; the gentleness and the remnants of fight punching you straight in the gut.
His eyes fluttered close when you lifted your hand and traced the line of the bruise on his face with the lightest pressure you were capable of. This time, tears definitely prickled in your eyes, but you blinked them away, cupping Steve’s cheek and pulling him close.
“Oh come here, babe,” you breathed out, fingers carding through his hair as he leaned his head on your shoulder, lips brushing the crook of your neck, strong arms embracing around your form.
He was warm and big and held you a bit tighter than necessary and dammit, you loved your sweet of heart and occasionally dumb of ass boyfriend. Boyfriend, who was crazy in love with you. Sometimes with emphasis on the crazy.
“I missed you, sweetheart,” he muttered, nose nuzzling the sensitive skin of your neck, breathing in deeply. You pretended it didn’t do things to you as he did everything to get lost in you and leave all the bad behind. You failed.
“You’re totally paying for fixing my door.”
Well, maybe not failed entirely.
“Of course,” Steve assured you dutifully, no hint of humour in his voice.
It broke you on a completely new level; he was serious. Dammit you loved this man!
“I missed you too,” you finally admitted and this time, he did chuckle, squeezing you even tighter, hand running up and down your back. Without any warning, he tightened his grip and lifted you from the floor so you had to cling to him entirely, causing you to gasp.
You never got the chance to gather your wits and comment on that, because an annoyed voice of a certain redhead sounded from your laptop.
“…alright, you crazy kids, you had your cuddles. Now, Rogers, should I tell Fury you’re coming back for the debriefing or should we just finally change with the times and do it over Zoom?”
Clutching Steve’s waist and shoulder, face contentedly in his chest, you voted for the latter.
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Steve Rogers masterlist
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Lovely divider by whimsicalrogers​.
A fic from collection ‘This was supposed to be a drabble.’  Also, I couldn’t for the love of god figure out a better title.
I hope you enjoyed at least a bit :-*
Thank you for reading!
257 notes · View notes
inkbyajm · 3 years
Text
Something Brewing
pairing: C.H. x fem!reader
category: fluff
warnings: anxiety attack
word count: 1.5k
notes: felt like angst, felt like sobbing uncontrollably, but my body wouldn’t cooperate, so imagining it will do for now. this was supposed to be a one-shot, but i didn’t realise how much i had written. now i’m splitting it into two parts. next part will definitely be more angst than fluff, so stay tuned for the terrifying sight that is angry corpse :) (p.s. don’t mind the occasional use of british english, it’s my default lmao)
next >
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A peculiar thing it was, the concept of love. It was very personal and feelings about it varied from person to person. For some, it had existed since the beginning of time, when Adam and Eve first walked the Earth, when the Almighty willed his beloved humans to lead their own lives with him in their hearts. For others, it is a feeling to long for, to crave, a feeling they found themselves daydreaming about often. And for the rest, love is a tool of ruin, potentially driving people who cared for one another away from each other, instilling at least a smidge of repulsion in each one of them. However, humans are social creatures after all, and sometimes, attraction was unavoidable no matter how much one tried. And try he did.
Living in California could get hard and stressful at times, but at least Corpse didn’t live at the heart of the city of anxiety-inducing social interactions and constant chaos that was Los Angeles. Sure, it meant that he didn’t live close to his friends, but he wasn’t far away from her, and that was enough for him.
A few soft grunts and sounds of slippers landing on the hardwood floor echoed from the kitchen of (Y/N)’s apartment. He got up from the couch in her living room and decided to investigate the source of the noise. Coming into the room, he saw her jumping to reach the highest shelf in one of the cupboards. Looking at it, he noticed her favourite mug sitting at the edge of said shelf and, afraid she would knock it over whilst attempting to grab it, he effortlessly got it for her. “Thank you. God, I was about to grow a foot taller trying to reach for this thing.” she sighed, eliciting a deep chuckle from him, “See, this is exactly why you’re my favourite friend.” Friend? Well, yes, of course a friend, what else would he be? Corpse felt an uncomfortable tug at his heart, and he couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why he was feeling that way, so he brushed it aside. “Why was it that high up if you can’t even reach it?” (Y/N) wasn’t a short person, she was perfectly average, and he himself wasn’t that tall of a guy either. But when it came to situations of this kind, he couldn’t help but feel good about his being taller. “It usually isn’t, but I let (F/N) use it once the other day because she refused to drink out of any of the other mugs, that stubborn bitch.” she replied, pouring her homemade Italian hot chocolate into the acquired cup. (F/N) was also taller than (Y/N), so it was only natural for her to be putting things in higher places. It was done out of habit.
(Y/N) and Corpse walked back to the living room to once again settle into the couch. He glanced at her as she sat with her legs crossed, concentrated on blowing on her moderately hot beverage, while the light from the moon peeked through the curtains of the balcony door, illuminating her face ever so slightly. Since when did he start noticing these things? Looking away to set his eyes on the TV in front of them, he sensed his heart beating at an usual rhythm, palpitating, and along with it came slight lightheadedness. Was he having a heart attack? Were these signs of atrial fibrillation? Or was this simply the start of an anxiety attack? Surely any of these would be more...recognisable, to say the least. The only situation he could think of with similar reactions was when one would develop a crush. A fucking crush? At his age? How old was he, ten? “Earth to Corpse? Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who sleep with their eyes open, that’s fucking creepy.” Her finger snaps pulled him out of whatever trance he was in. “Sorry, were you saying something?” “I asked you if you had watched Bly Manor like three times. You were very far away.” she answered, emitting a few giggles. “Sorry, I uh- I was thinking of something, but it’s stupid. And no, I haven’t, I’ve been meaning to, though.” And just like that, they settled on the show they were going to watch for the next couple of weeks.
“NOOOOOOO,” (Y/N) yelled, voicing her defeat “WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF LUCK IS THIS.” Corpse lay on the floor, slamming his palm down onto it out of hysterical laughter. They had been playing Unmatched for the past hour, this being their third round, and after many cards and a level of tension that could only be cut through with a saw, his Robin Hood had finally defeated her Alice. It was Corpse’s first time playing, so to say that his winning of all three games was a crushing moment for her was an understatement. “This is not normal, you lied saying you’ve never played before!” she pouted, putting everything back into the box, “I’m usually really good at this game.”
He wiped the tears from his eyes, struggling to keep a good composure. “I’m sorry, I guess I’ve found my talent,” he joked, but he did feel bad for stealing her thunder, “Would it make you feel better if I said that my Robin Hood is, like, extremely hurt right now? You have a fucking gigantic knife as a weapon, I only have, like, a bow and arrow. That’s kind of unfair.” (Y/N) bit her lip in hesitation, then picked up her figurine and lightly tapped it along the table to approach his. Putting Alice at a slight angle, she made a kissing sound as to imitate her character smooching his. “There, a kiss to make it better. I promise not to hurt you too much if you let me win next time.” 
The same strange feeling he had experienced for the first time two months ago, when they were sitting on the couch of her living room, and many more times after that, had come back. He would’ve blamed it on heartburn, except it was nothing like it. It wasn’t anything he was used to. “Hey, you alright?” (Y/N) furrowed her brows in concern “You’ve been doing that a lot lately, rubbing your chest like that.” Fuck. He had never noticed the habit he had developed. “I’m fine, just me and my heart problems, nothing unusual.” Filthy liar. Brows still furrowed, she moved closer to him and, with her legs tucked under her, she put her hand above his heart to check. “Jesus, Corpse, your heart is going a million miles per hour! Are you sure you’re okay?”
Looking up at him, she noticed how red he had suddenly become, and this worried her even more. “Bubs, you’re literally changing colours.” How did she expect him not to when she was doing this? (Y/N) further inspected his condition and put the back of her hand on his forehead, then his cheeks, to check his temperature. Expectedly, he was getting warmer. She stopped for a second and listened intently, only to hear his shallow breathing fill the silence. She then glanced down at his left hand resting on his thigh, and surely enough, found it trembling. “Alright, Corpse? Hey, can you hear me?”
His breathing only picked up its pace as the seconds went by. On the spur of the moment, (Y/N) placed herself in front of him, her legs on either side, and gently cradled his head. “Corpse, darling, I’m gonna need you to look at me, okay? Focus on me, focus on my breathing, mm?” He forced himself to tear his gaze away from the ground and did as he was told, eyes darting around, analysing her expression. He’s never found himself having an attack in her presence, it was surprising how well she was handling it.
Wait- darling? Bubs? “Now, can you name four things that you see? Can you do that for me?” He briefly scanned the room for answers, his mind still cluttered. “The fridge, the couch, the light and-” Did she mean to call him that? It was probably nothing, she could be using it with any of her friends for all he knew. He wasn’t special. “and the game, the board game. On the table.” “Good, now can you name three things you hear?” This one took a lot of concentration, there weren’t many obvious sounds for him to point out. “The motorcycle outside, your hands rubbing against my skin, uh-” What the fuck else? Was he losing his mind? The task was simple enough, why was he having so much trouble with it? “I’m sorry, I- I don’t hear anything else.” “No, it’s okay. You’re doing splendid, see? Your breathing is much more stable.” she reassured him, squeezing his upper arms.
“Lastly, can you give me two things you can smell?” Nodding, he closed his eyes. “The coffee you drank earlier.” It took him a moment to come up with something else, and just as she was about to get off of his lap, figuring he had done a good enough job, she heard him mumble “your perfume”. Scared he’d get another attack, Corpse avoided looking into her eyes, which he could feel the gaze of. He only picked up on the scent from her shifting closer in the last second. “That’s funny, I had forgotten to put perfume on this morning.” 
261 notes · View notes
tedturneriscrazy · 3 years
Text
🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵
I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂
(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)
I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face
Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point
Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know
Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?
His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤
To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice
Eda's face🤣
As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode
Jeez, Luz, priorities /j
Pictured: Hooty
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The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular
Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then
Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?
"DO NOT INTERRUPT"
Officially a "type of worm"
The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless
WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON
Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences
Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?
Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.
I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN
I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)
I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for
I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight
Ooh, sound powers!
"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"
It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself
Hello not-at-all obvious setup
Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.
Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing
Oh shit
In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious
Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast
Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?
Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all
Damn, Gwen, not even looking
Oh shit dad issues
Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)
Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway
Oh dear...
(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)
Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating
Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!
I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that
New memory! Raine!
Oh no...
I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too
They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one
The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking
That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭
I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?
Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!
Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode
(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)
Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?
So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.
And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)
Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.
And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.
Goddamnit why does it have to be cute
"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T
Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood
New transformation!
Oh no she's hot!
No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!
She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good
Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!
"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣
Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper
Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?
Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness
That's...rather morbid, Hooty
So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement
Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...
There it is!
I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.
Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...
Cue much panicking
Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks
Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it
I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment
Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!
Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances
Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"
The way she's fixing her hair!❤
Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!
"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?
Luz is luzing it
Nooooooo....
JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)
Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔
This isn't what either of them wanted!
To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...
Now Hooty is McFucking losing it
Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)
Those pulsating organs are still gross
Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)
I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!
Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!
Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)
Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.
Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse
Mother-daughter moment about love life!
I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted
God, Eda is best mom
Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!
OH SHIT
THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙
"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?
The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤
Luz making some good faces
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS
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WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK
Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected
BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH
THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭
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(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)
Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!
Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode
Fus ro WEH!
Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...
In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!
Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh
"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.
Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.
OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN
King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!
GODDAMNIT HOOTY
Wow. Just...wow. This episode.
King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!
How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!
I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.
And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!
I, for one, can't wait to find out!
39 notes · View notes
madllamamomma · 3 years
Text
The Visitor~ Part 6
Muriel x Rhemi (OC) fanfic
[WARNING: Some topics can be triggering to some readers including, mention of violence, blood/gore, mental health issues, abuse, etc.]
Part 6~
Ghosts~
In the palace, Sir Martin sits quietly in the green chair next to the fire. His daughter should be here any moment. The cracking of the burning wood alway relaxed him, eventually making his eyes heavy… Soon he drifts to sleep.
As he opens his eyes, he finds himself sitting on an old rickety chair that looks like it's about to break at any moment. With an annoyed scoff, his eyes look around, he is in a terribly drabby house, full of holes in the straw roof where the sunlight shines through and mice hide in the walls. He always hated this place--Despised is more like it. He absolutely hated when his dreams would drift him back here to this often empty house. But then, she walks into the room, her hands full with the heavy laundry basket… His hatred drifted away.
She was a beautiful young woman, no older than eighteen, her hair s burgundy brown and curly, pulled back into a handkerchief and her gorgeous teal blue eyes and wearing commoner’s clothes with a dingy apron around her waist. Just like always, she acted like it was just another ordinary day and as cheery as ever.
“Well! Good morning, my little rabbit.” She says with a smile as she sits and folds the laundry.
“..... Morning.” Martin gently replies, unable to keep his eyes off of her.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
He swallows hard and shakes his head. He knows this is just a dream. “Why… Why does this keep happening?”
For a moment she stops folding, and looks up at him with such gleaming and loving eyes, tilting her head and looking at Martin with such concern.
“Why here?.... Why this moment?” He frustratedly mutters. “And not any other moment. Just…. This. One?”
The young woman sighs and lightly shrugs, shaking her head. “... You tell me, little rabbit.”
Martin tries to stand up from his chair, but like always, he is stuck in one place. Angry, he tries and tries but something is keeping him here in this one spot.
“You know that doesn’t help any.” She says sadly. “It never has…”
A deep sigh expels from his lungs again as he finally accepts his situation and his eyes peer back to the young woman, pain in his cold teal eyes. “..... Why didn’t you just stay home that day?” He asks with gritted teeth and folded hands. “I... I told you not to go.”
Tears start to well in her eyes as she looks at him silently, slowly standing to her feet. The house just evaporates, replaying it with a foggy gray atmosphere. “Why didn’t you come with me?” She whispers as her feet lift off the ground.
An eerie high pitch ringing overwhelming his ears as she keeps staring at him as she stops levitating about three feet from the ground. A terrifying crack emanates from her neck as it snaps quickly to the right.
Martin shutters stifling his tears, shutting his eyes tightly and turning his head away from the horror. But suddenly feels himself waking up from the warm licks from Beatrix’s tongue.
------
Fluttering his eyes open, he finds Beatrix in his lap, looking at him slightly concerned. “Little Piegon’s here, Master.” Her scratchy voice mutters in his head.
Martin rubs his tired eyes, and smoothing back his plum and gray hair. “Thank you, Bea.”
Waiting patiently, Martin stares into the fire, in deep thought, wondering why his dreams keep taking him to that dreadful day. If it wasn’t that dream, it was always about Florence and Rhemielia. The night that she and their child were whisked away. All the while he was trapped underneath a pile of fiery debris, and his skin burning his right arm.
---------- Later that day-----
As Rhemi steadily makes her way back to the shop, taking three times as long. Her lack of oxygen is taking its toll on her. “This….. fucking thing!….” She huffs to herself, gasping for air in between her thoughts as she takes a seat on a nearby barrel. “...*huff*  Fuck….*huff*.... This…*huff*...*huff*..... Corset!”
After getting adequate rest, she stands to her feet and clasps the small part of her waist feeling the corset digging into the tops of her hip bones.
“... Fuck this dress. Fuck that Oliver guy. Fuck this day...” She grumbles to herself under her breath, attempting to ignore all the wide eyed stares from the citizens she passes, hoping that no one would recognize her. “Fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis….” She grumbles to herself, face beat red. “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.”
Finally, the shop was within her sight as the sun was setting over the city. It took so long to get here! Rhemi thinks to herself, realizing that the lamplighters are hard at work lighting the dark streets. She left the palace around three o’clock, it's probably almost five or so now. If anything came out of this, it’s respect for the poor aristocrats in Charlès who actually wore this stuff on the regular bases! Why would anyone want to wear this stuff everyday? Did Mum really wear this crap? This is awful!
Opening the door to the shop never felt so good. God, I can’t wait to get inside! I am so happy to be home. She rejoiced in her head. Finally home! Three different voices muffled on the other side of the door. Rhemi knew right away who they all belonged to. Then, a horrible thought comes to mind as she turns the key in the lock after taking down the protection spell. ….Oh no….. Oh god!.... What the hell are they gonna say about this abomination??
Then again…. she was so tired at this point, she didn’t really care. The pain of the corset outweighed the pain of her friend's judgement. With as much air as she could fill in her restricted lungs, she bravely opens the door, all three pairs of eyes immediately falling on her.
Asra excitedly starts to greet his friend with a brilliant smile. “Hey! There she is! Welcome…” But then stops as he sees her, his eyes wide, his smile crumples into a shocked snicker.
The lively chattering that filled the room suddenly ceases, the only thing that can be heard is the creaking of the rusty hinges of the shop door as it shuts behind her.
Awkwardly, Rhemi just stands in the doorway as Asra, Faust, Muriel, and Julian just stare at her. None of them could help but stifle their laughs at the overly fluffy dress that she’s wearing.
Julian opens and closes his mouth attempting to formulate a sentence.“That's… errr….. It’s… Ummm-aahhhhh..” He stammers as he rubs his face, searching for a compliment. But of course, Asra stands next to him, covering his smile with his clasped hands and eyes wide, his thoughts very apparent.
Looking silently between them all, realizing that they were trying to be as kind about it as possible. “.... It’s fucking atrocious, isn’t it?” Rhemi finally verbally admits with a half straight face.
“It’s a goddamn travesty is what it is.” Asra spits out as soon as she completes her sentence. All four of them stand there silently all waiting how’d be the first to crack.
Suddenly, all of them sputter into hard laughter at the same time, breaking the terrible silence.
“My god!.... What the hell is this thing anyways??” Julian adds overdramatically gesturing to the hips. “Rhemi-dear, are you wearing ….crinoline??”
“... Crino-What??” Muriel mumbles as he squints his eyes.
“It’s a type of tortuous device placed under dresses that a deranged idiot designed to make your hips look inhumanly large.” She replies nonchalantly as attempts to reach back for the buttons, trying to contort herself to do so. But, try as she might, the poor apprentice couldn’t reach without completely tearing the sleeves. However, as stubborn as she is, she continues to try to reach in hope to get out of this over-tightened corset. All at the same time, Muriel, Asra, and Julian try to figure out the reason why she’s wearing the damn overly extravagant monstrosity.
“....There are… So… many bows….” Muriel mutters as tugs at one to study it, seemingly not liking the texture and his face hilariously cringing hard.
“Oh… I know!….. It’s bad, huh, Muri?”
“Reallllllly bad.”
“Did you lose a bet, Rem?” Asra teases, still laughing his ass off.
“Nooooooo,” A whine emanates from her mouth and her bottom lip pops out. Despite her cute pout, the corner of the lips still twist up into a grin making her slightly look like a duck. Slightly frustrated, but also entertained by her stupid situation, she sighs deeply and slouches as much as she could (given her restrictive outfit).
About having enough of trying, she huffs feeling rather defeated, but still smiles at her friends. “If you three are gonna keep dishing out colorful insults, you might as well help me out of it... I can’t freakin’ breathe!”
“... Yo-... You can’t get out by yourself, Rem??” Muriel snorts, forcefully hiding a very amused smile, trying to politely withhold a bellowing laugh at her situation. “Sorry… It’s not funny.” He mumbles as he presses his lips together even tighter.
“Do you really think I would have come home with this... thing if I could take it off myself?? It took… like…. Five people to get me in this abomination!”
“Are you.... Errr…. Decent underneath all of it?” Julian warily asks, his eye quickly glancing towards Muriel while he wasn’t looking.
“Don’t worry Ilya, you’ve seen more at the beach. I have a shift or… or slip…? -Whatever it’s called under the corset.” Say says lifting up the dreaded skirt showing the many layers of cloth on her body. “Pft! This bitch has so many layers, it puts our wedding cake to shame.”
“Oh god.” Muriel chuckles, his laughter making his broad shoulder shake, not doing a very good job to keep it in.
“Ohhh! Shut your face!” Rhemi playfully smacks her finacè’s stomach. “Now, please! Get me out of this damn thing! I feel like my boobs are suffocating me! Do you guys want me to die from titty asphyxiation?!”
“I’d argue that it wouldn't be a bad demise!” The doctor chuckles with his dubious smile of his.
“Shuddup Ilya!” Rhemi playfully elbows her friend, slightly knocking the wind out of him.
But he continues to laugh and laugh,as he holds his stomach nearly hyperventilating. “..We-.... We’ll write on your tombstone, ...‘Here lies Rhemi… Escaped death once from the plague to die from a common corset.’..”
Asra chortles, nearly crying now as Faust happily hisses, “Rhemi a tent!”
Out of the sea of laughter, Rhemi finds herself feeling more light headed, unable to contain her giggles either. “Hey! Less talkie, more unbutton-ie! I am literally dying over here! I am not joking when I said that I nearly passed out a few times over here. I left around three!”
The mountain man’s face suddenly becomes more serious as she says that, his laughter completely silenced “Wait…. Really?? Are… you ok?”
“I mean… I made it here, didn’t I?” She says with a shrug and a half grin.
A warm grumble rumbles from his lips as he mutters, “That’s not…”
“—Alright, alright, alright! Turn around, ya big baby.” Asra teases her, finally feeling pity for her. “Let’s get you out of this thing… Then we’ll have a bonfire. Haha!”
It took some time, but after some troubleshooting and a bit of magic, the three managed to peel the dress, the extra layers, and the crinoline off, leaving only her tight overbust, and a shift underneath. With surgical hands, Julian and Asra loosened the loops.
Finally, the corset was loosened, Rhemi took in a large breath of fresh air as if she had just made love. “Ahhhhhhhh~ Sooooo much better.”
“Better wait a few minutes before loosening it again.” Julian adds with a serious doctor face. “Don’t want you actually passing out.”
“Tha-that's a thing that can happen??” A very wary Muriels asks.
“Why, yes! If you let it out too quickly, you can pass out… Your blood pressure can drop and leave a person unconscious. Happened a few times to the actors at the theater.”
“That's….. Worrisome.” Muriel says as his eyes fall on his fiancée again, and pointing to the corset. “You never told me these things were hazardous.”
Unable to contain herself, Rhemi takes her lover’s large hand and holds it with both of hers with an empathetic expression. He’s so cute. “Aww! I never wear them this tight, honey! I like the way my corsets look and feel on my body. But this one is garbage!”
“Actually it’s not that bad.” Julian says peeling away the cloth and exposing the boning structure underneath. “.....It’s made out of whale bone! It’s expensive and very strong. It’s just not your size.”
“Oh! Speaking of expensive, that reminds me.” Julian takes out Rhemi’s coin purse and hands it back to her, only a few coins used. “I believe this belongs to you.”
It takes a few moments before she realizes that the doctor never used her money last night, she instantly pouts. “Ilya!! You’re drinks were supposed to be on me you dork!”
“Rhemi-dear, what happened at tea the other day was not your fault!”
You mean ‘what my father said’. She thinks to herself. “But— My father— it wasn’t right what he—”
“—You can’t control what that basta—.. dahhhhhhh errrrrr... I mean…. What he says.”
“... Nice save.” Asra whispers to his lover.
“I never got the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I… I kinda regret inviting him. Tea was just so awkward. It should have been just us, like Nadia planned it.”
Julian wraps his long arms around Rhemi’s shoulders for a friendly hug. “Please don’t apologize. I’ve honestly heard worse.”
“I’m still sorry it happened.”
“Hey, don't worry about it. It’s not worth it.” He then moves his arm and takes a seat in the velvet couch never to Asra, causing them to lazily lean on his shoulder. Slowly, Faust slithers over to Julian and he tries his best not to get chills. “So…. Ahhhh… Ya gonna tell us why you are wearing this….. Errr…. getup?”
“... My father apparently brought his own tailor on board with him… Names Oliver… real piece of freakin’ work!... My father wanted him to give the dress as a present to me. It’s apparently the latest fashion from Charlès… All the noble women wear something like it.”
“..... Sooooo… I assume that he didn’t take it too well that you two aren’t moving to Charlès.” Asra asks, handing her own clothes to her so she could get comfortable.
“Wait, he wanted you both to move??” Julian cluelessly interjects with his left eye wide.
An intense pressure suddenly overtakes Rhemi’s stomach as if gravity doubled on her intestines. How the hell is she supposed to explain what happened today? Not only did her father still want her to leave Vesuvia, but he wants her alone to move and marry someone of nobility in Charlès!
“....Actually, he was very understanding.” She flat out lies before she could stop herself.
Rhemi, what are you doing?? She screams internally. Why are you lying again?!
“... He was of course disappointed, but he was very respectful about it!” She continues as if her mouth had a mind of its own, her body posture scarily calm and believable. “... But it’s best not to mention it to him… He’s still very disappointed. Might spark a nerve with him. Ya know?”
Asra and Julian exchange a surprised look as they hear this. Julian rubs the back of his hand and sighs, “He doesn’t seem to be the understanding type--”
“—Well, he might surprise you.” Rhemi defensively interrupts. “He might be very posh and rigid on the outside…. But I know, deep down he just cares about me.”
Muriel stares down at her with his knowing emerald eyes completely unconvinced as she walks past him to head upstairs to get changed. She dared not look at him for too long. He had a way of making her break. But how could she explain this to him? To…. well, anyone?? Her father didn’t even acknowledge that she was getting married.
No. She just…. Has to fix this before anyone knows. She had to.
———————
After Rhemi got dressed, the four of them all had a nice dinner that Muriel and Asra whipped up. It was chicken souvlaki wrapped in a pita and other greens.
After that, the two couples went their separate ways for the night. Asra and Julian stayed at the shop, while Rhemi and Muriel went back home to the hut.
She feared that he might bring up what she said before dinner, about her father accepting thor decision not to leave. He always knows when she’s bullshitting. That's the problem when you get to know someone so well. It's a sixth sense, knowing something is wrong.
But to her surprise, he stayed quiet. She reads a book on the bed as he whittles next to Inanna by the fire. Eventually, her eye starts to become heavy and she shuts her books and gets into her nightgown. Muriel follows her lead. Soon, all three get comfortable in the bed, taking their normal positions. Rhemi on the left side of the bed, Muriel at the right, and Inanna at the foot. The apprentice always laid on his bare chest snuggling up and getting warm.
“I love you, Muriel.” She whispers.
Muriel yawns, “... I love you too, Rhemi…” Thinking he's drifting off to sleep, she starts to close her eyes as well and feel herself falling asleep. “.... Was he really okay with us not moving?” He finally whispers.
Rhemi's heart drops, but she just stays there silent and still, pretending to be asleep.
The hermit lets out a frustrated sigh, before placing a feather light kiss on her forehead. “.... Please just don’t forget I want you to talk to me.”
….. I know…. She thinks to herself. I want to tell you. But… I’m scared that might make things worse. I’m sorry, Muri. I don’t want to lie to you… But I have to fix this by myself before you know the truth.
Finally, all of them start to drift to sleep, Muriel finds himself in the realm of dreams, his father waiting for him yet again, waiting to show him what he was capable of in the realm of dreams.
All the while Rhemi stays put, in a dreamless state, but finds herself waking up almost every hour from a twinging pain in her temples. She could swear she was hearing distant voices.
———The next morning———
A very groggy Rhemi finally wakes up from the sun peering into the window. Sitting up, in the bed, she realized that Muriel and Inanna were already up and started the day. Glancing over to the table, some fresh flowers and herbs were waiting for her and a note that read, "Get some rest." She couldn’t help but smile despite feeling so terrible. The headaches are getting worse and worse lately. Even when she wakes up, it's like a hammer is knocking on the side of her temples. Luckily, it would dissipate as the day went on, but it was such a nuisance to start off the day like this. At least she didn’t have any dreams last night…
Slowly, she gets up and walks over to the washing washing bowl, trying to get more energized for the day. This was one of her installations when she moved into the hut. It was a little table (taller than most for her sweet Muriel) with a washing bowl, a pitcher and a mirror from the shop. It must have been her mother’s. It was the one thing that didn’t necessarily match the other decor from the shop. Pouring a liberal amount of freshwater, she starts washing her face. The cool water felt nice on her temples. As she glances back up to the mirror to make herself look more alive, she notices someone behind her.
Summoning her magic quickly into her hands, she conjures a defensive spell as she whips around silently. But as soon as she turns around, no one is there. The door is locked, and she can still hear Muriel cutting wood. “.... Must have been my imagination.”
Turning back to the mirror yet again to look at her reflection. But instead of her own face, she sees her eyes bloodshot red and short hair, her expression bleak and sad.
“.... Headache again?” A voice mumbles to her sadistically from the reflection.
“AHHHHH!!!” Shocked, Rhemi yelps a terrified scream, punching the mirror out of instinct. The vision and the pieces of glass shatter into pieces. Immediately, she regretted her reaction. She tucks her hand into her chest in pain, her knuckles bloody, and the mirror is broken. Looking at the shards on the ground, all she can see is her own reflection in the small fragments. What… what the fuck was that?
“RHEMI?!” Muriel cries out from behind the hut.
“.... Shit….” Quickly Rhemi jumps up and carefully takes the mirror off the wall and places it on the floor to make it look like it just fell down. The last thing she wanted was to think that she was losing her mind. Besides, people see things all the time, it doesn’t mean you're crazy… right??
“RHEMI !” Muriel shouts as he bursts in the hut, his large ax still in hand. As soon as he sees the blood, his eyes get even wider and swirling with fear. “Y-... You’re bleeding!”
“Ahhh!” She shouts, waving her hand to keep him away. “Don’t let Nana in here! T-There's glass everywhere!”
Examining the damage, Muriel shakes his head bewildered. “Rem... What happened?”
“... Ohhmygosh!! HaHa! So dumb!... Completely my fault! I was trying to straighten the stupid mirror and I apparently…. It fell off the nail! I… I didn’t catch it in time and it broke, and I screamed.”
He starts to slightly relax, but still looks pretty anxious. “.... You okay?”
“Yeah! I just cut myself a little on the glass is all! Just a little scratch, nothing I can’t fix~!”
Taking a single step inside he sets the ax down outside and reaches his hand for her. “.... Let me at least help—”
“It’s fine, Love!” She says as she conjures her magic to clean the pieces up and place them back into the mirror. “See? No problem!”
Begrudgingly he huffs, and starts to step out of the doorway before pausing. “.... Get dressed. I’ll make breakfast. You just …. sit…. alright?.... Don’t go near anything breakable…. Or sharp.” He grumpily instructs.
She snickers and nods her head. “Okay.”
As soon as the door shuts, her smile falls and she stares at her knuckle so she could heal it. Luckily, it wasn’t very deep, however it was a little long. She sits down at the table, taking a little piece of herb and summoning her magic, she starts mending her skin together. After it was all healed up a very small scar was left. It should dissipate after a while. But she just stares at it for a moment.
“Get it together, Rhemi.” She mumbles to herself as she stands to her feet to get dressed.
There's too much going on today for this bullshit. She had a plan for her father to get on board with her getting married.
--------
After a delicious breakfast, and a few sweet kisses, Muriel and Rhemi part for the day. Making her way to the shop, she concocks the perfect plan.
As expected, the shop was open and ready for business, usually Asra at the counter with a book or a potion, but today the white haired gender bastard was nowhere in sight, and the shop appeared empty.
“Hello??” She calls out. “Asra?? Faust?? You home?”
“Oh! Morning, Rhemi.” He greets from the back next to the stairs.
Realizing his location she strolls to where he was sitting on the ground and she takes off her bag. “.... Good morning. What the heck are you doing back there, ya weirdo?”
“Refusing to accept defeat.” He chuckles, wiping a little bit of sweat on his forehead. In front of him was a large chest oozing with magic and locked up tight. It read, ‘Fragile: Please handle with care’ in a familiar handwriting. In his right hand was the bundle of rusty old keys.
Curious, Rhemi tilts her head and folds her arms. “What is this?”
“Found this…” He grunts as he attempts to force another key into the lock. “... Chest… under the stairs the other day…. And…. I think it belonged to Athena…. *grunt* but no matter what I doooo…” With a heavy sigh, he gives up on that key, pulls it out of the lock and nearly collapses on his elbows. “... The damn thing won’t open. I have tried opening it with magic, I have tried every key in the shop--twice now--Hell! I even tried using a crowbar! But... nothing.”
“Huh….” She mutters. Rhemi kneels down next to her friend and the chest. Both of them stared at it for a moment. “... Well… Obviously it’s got a powerful spell on it. Athena didn’t want anyone in it.”
“Yeah… Even in death, that woman had out magic us.” The two of them giggle together on the floor. Asra draps his arms over his knees and he smiles, his mind wondering into nostalgically territory. “... I miss her.” He mumbles under his breath.
“.... I do too.” The apprentice says with a heavy heart, resting her head on his shoulder. “I…. I wish she could be here… See how much we both grew up…”
"Me too..."
The two stay there for a moment, taking it all in. The sound of the bedroom door closing at the top of the stairs brings them back to reality and Julian’s long legs descend the stairs.
“Oh! Morning, Rhemi-dear!” He says with a chipper tone.
She rolls her eyes at that name, but at this point, she just learned to accept it. “Well good morning to you too…. Someone slept in late…It’s nearly ten o’clock.” She teases.
“HA. Well…. Something kept me up all night..” The doctor glances at Asra with pink staining his cheeks and a cute smirk.
Asra smiles wide, proudly he glances back over to his friend, cheekily placing his finger to his chest. “Tee-hee…. I’m ‘something’.”
Jokingly disgusted, she pushes Asra making him nearly fall over. “EWWW! Grosssssss! You two are terrible!” She laughs.
“Oh… like you and Muriel aren’t disgusting too??”
“I am not responding to that!” She loudly announces as she walks up the stairs, her face turning slightly pink herself. “I’m making some tea, don’t leave just yet Ilya!”
“Ohhhh, well ahhh.. alrighty then! If I… ahh….. If I must.” Julian happily replies as he helps Asra back to his feet. Promptly the white-haired magician presses his lips on his collar bone.
While the teapot starts to heat up, Rhemi realizes that she really didn’t have time to go to the palace or have someone deliver a message for her father. Staring at the spigot and it gives her an idea and is a good reason to flex her magical muscles. Grabbing a large bowl, she fills it with water and closes her eyes. Using all her concentration, she reaches out, searching for her father’s magic. Finally, she feels that strange metallic aura and she opens she can see her reflection being replaced with her father’s.
“Père!” She calls out.
Confused, Martin looks away towards what she could only assume was the door. “..... Miela?” He mutters.
“Good morning, Père~” She sweetly giggles. Something about surprising another magician always made her a little giddy.
Her father turns his head once again, his eyes scanning the room. “I… I hear you Pigeon, but…. Where are you??”
“Down here!” She instructs. “In the water!”
Turning desperately left and right, he shakes his head. “The… water?” Finally he locates her and he stares in astonishment. “Ahhhhh…?”
Beatrix’s hissing and Bartholomew’s voice could be heard in the background. “.... Monsieur, vous allez bien?”
“Oh… yes. Um…. Why don’t you be a good lad and step outside, Bartholmew.��
“....Ahhh…. Oui, Monsieur.” His butler replies soundly utterly confused. "I will leave you alone with your...ah.... tea... then."
Calmly, Martin looks into his tea cup. “... Rhemielia, my child. What are you doing in my tea?”
“Kinda neat isn’t it? Asra taught me this one a while back.”
With a straight face, he slowly blinks, seemingly unimpressed. “.... Hmmmm…. Very… Charming, I suppose… I won’t recommend it in Charlès though. This is how you’d get a bad reputation for being a witch.”
“Oh….” The excitement and glee once again stomped out. But… I kinda am a witch. Awkwardly, she clears her throat, brushing off his words. “Well, ah….anyways, I contacted you this way to ask you something.”
“Oh?”
“I have to do something today next to the palace. Are you busy this afternoon around three o’clock?”
“Hmm… No… I don’t believe I am.” He says while pondering hard and tapping the tea cup.
“Well, how about you meet me there. I think you’d really enjoy it.”
A genuine soft smile takes over the Archimagister’s lips and he takes a seat on a chair. “... I always enjoy being with you, my little pigeon.”
Rhemi grins happily when he says that. He had a habit of making her feel bad sometimes, but he also could make her feel glad that he’s in her life again. Her heart flutters with excitement. She quickly gives him the address, before she could make a little small talk, the tea kettle starts to whistle and the two say their goodbyes for now.
The day went on like it did every Monday. The shop was pretty busy in the late morning and the afternoon. Mostly it was regulars getting their positions, and other things they needed before the rest of the week went on. But for Rhemi the day just dragged on. Today was the last fitting of her wedding dress. Surely, he wouldn’t be so set on her going to Charlès if he saw her in it. The dress was beautiful a-line with a button-up bodice in the back, with illusion sleeves covered in beautiful lace and organza material.
After what felt like an eternity, the time came for her fitting. Before she leaves, she pops her head into the reading room where Asra was looking at his cards by himself. It’s odd, it felt like she could hear the King of Pentacles whispering to him.
As she went for the door, she ran her fingers over the chest feeling Athena’s magic somehow felt so comforting to her. She always had a strong aura. A strange clunk comes from behind her. She glances back to inspect what had made the noise, but the chiming of the clock deters her. Whatever it is, it can wait.
_______________________________
As she reaches the tailor’s shop, she notices her father making his way down the street. His nose was buried into the piece of paper with the address on. Again, no Beatrix. It’s old how empty his shoulders looked without her.
“Père!” Rhemi calls out, waving to him.
Ungluing his eyes from his paper as she calls his name, he grins and waves back.
“How are you today?” His daughter asks sweetly.
“Very good thank you.” He replies looking at his pocket watch. As soon as he picks up his head, he reads the sign, Seamless: Pierre’s Clothing. “Oh…. You do realize I have a tailor already, correct?”
She can't help but chuckle at his unamusement as she opens the door. “I know that. This one is mine... Well, actually it's Nadia's, I'm just borrowing him.”
Martin’s eyes narrow as he enters the shop. The windows are full of outlandish and extravagant dresses and suits, but in the Vesuvian style. The old magician just sneers in revolt. “Ohhh?... Pardon me, my sweet, but I am confused...”
“I’m about to try my wedding dress on.” Martin’s body stiffens like a board and he flutters his eyes in disbelief. Rhemi could feel her cheeks heating up and feeling pressure on her chest. “And….. I uh… I wanted you to be here for my final fitting… Get you more involved… I want you to be apart of my life and--”
“—Sorry." He interrupts placing both of his hands on his cane, sticking his nose up in revolt. "Please don't tell me you were serious when you said you are going to marry that seven foot tall brute—?”
“—Muriel, Père…” Rhemi quickly interjects in disbelief. She could feel her left eyelid twitch from the stress. She just couldn’t believe him. This shit again?? Right here?? RIGHT NOW? Calmly, she folds her hands together trying to keep her patients. “.... My fiance's name is Muriel. It means 'bright' in Rune…. And yes. I am marrying him. He’s kind and genuine and trustworthy and gentle and makes me feel safe and…. And I love him.... He's my soul mate.”
Martin’s icy glare somehow gets colder and she shakes his head and scoffs. “... Hmmmm… love... What good has it ever done...”
“... What do you mean by that?... You said you fell in love with Mum.”
His nostrils flare in frustration. “.... Rhemielia. My child. All I’m trying to say is that you barely know this man. How long have you met him? A year or so ago?”
“Well…. yes… but how long did you know Mum before you married her?”
As soon as he opens his mouth wider about to argue back, Pierre walks in with a cheerful smile. “Ah! Rhemi! So good to see you!! Are you ready to see your lovely gown?”
Martin pats Rhemi’s head and she cringes to herself yet again. “We’ll speak of this later—no need to make a scene, do we now?” He says leaning into her ear and whispering. “In the meantime, go ahead. Go on and play dress up like you used to when you were a child.”
Her eyelid twitches even more as she strains to keep a fake smile on her lips. “I not playing dress—”
“Rhemi!!!!” Suddenly Agrippa and Portia burst through the door with happy smiles, excited for the final fitting. As soon as they both notice Sir Martin, their smiles dwindle slightly, but they still keep their cheery demeanor for the occasion.
For once, Rhemi was happy to change the subject, pretending that her father didn’t say what he did. “Ippa! Pasha!”
“I am sooooo excited!!!”
“Me too! Pierre is ready and— Wait… Where’s Julian?”
“Oh! I’m sorry, Rem. He had an emergency at the clinic…” Portia says finally letting her smile fall.
“That kid from the orphanage….. What's his naaaammmme—?”
“Zachary?”
Agrippa snaps their fingers agreeing with their partner. “Yeah! He broke his arm today.”
“Holy crap!! Not Zack! Is he okay??”
“Oh yeah! He’s getting loads of attention and is making jokes as we speak! Those kids are resilient, he’ll be just fine!”
“As long as he stops climbing tall shit that is.”
“….Well that stinks that Julian can’t be here, but he can help that!... I’m happy you both could make it though!”
Suddenly, Sir Martin clears his throat to interrupt their conversation looking at his pocket watch and tapping it. “Excuse me ladies and….. Sir???”
Agrippa blankly stares at him with a small growing smile. “.... Which one do you think it is?”
Martin stares back trying not look so confused as he really was. But instead of answering, he just clears his throat once more, tucking his pocket watch back into his vest and looking the other way. “... Not all of us have all day to dawdle.”
Taking the hint, the four of them follow Pierre to the back and make their way to the back. Excited, Portia and Rhemi head to the back changing room. Pierre gives them the gown in order for the maid of honor to know how to help with the dress the day of the wedding (bustles and all).
It fits like a glove. Ecstatic and hopelessly excited, Rhemi nearly skips out of the back to show off her beloved dress.
Portia and Agrippa both hold back their tears as she twirls around happily. “Oh, little bean!!” Agrippa mutters sniffling hard.
Rhemi spins around, clapping her face and her eyes start to water up as well and she smiles stupidly. “Ohhhhhh, you two stop!!! You both said you wouldn’t cry!”
“I know, I know! But you are just so….. So—” Portia says, whipping a tear away.
“—Tch. Please…. don’t lie to her.” Martin grumbles his left hand pitching the bridge of his nose.
Portia and Agrippa stare at the Archmagister in utter shock. “Umm... Excuse me?” Portia asks with her brow furrowed. “What exactly do you mean?”
“Well, that dress is all wrong, of course.” He huffs irritatedly, uncrossing his legs and standing to his feet.
Rhemi’s heart starts to sink into her chest. “What’s…. what’s wrong with it?” She asks, looking down and lifting up some of the skirt with her hands, unable to see the defects.
“That dress makes you look like a dirty commoner, Pigeon…. It looks more like a used napkin than a gown, don't you think? And what a dreadful color.”
“But… But I…. I am a commoner. A-and… I don’t like whi-…..” The words die in her throat as her attention diverts to the back of the room.
Somehow a person who came out of nowhere is standing directly behind her father in the back—But it isn’t a customer…. Her sick crimson eyes staring at her with a desperate looking expression. Why is she here?? Am… Am I going insane? As soon as Rhemi closes her eyes again, she vanishes, but it still frightens her.
“...Wh-white..” She finally finishes muttering, still staring in the back where the figure once stood.
It was…. Herself. The ghost of her former self that keeps popping up in her dreams. The same person in her reflection the other day. Her sick bloodshot eyes, yellow tainted skin and the stench of cremated ashes. Clearly, no one else can see her, or smell the terrible scent of death.
Quickly, she’s snapped back to reality as soon as her fathers speaks again and she looks back down at her gown. “....Please…” He scoffs, pitching the bridge of his nose. “...It looks like a rag—and for gods’ sake—Why is it blush?? Virgins are supposed to wear white—“
“——Okaaaaaay! Rhemi let's get you out of your beautiful dress so the poor tailor can finish the hem, okay?” Portia quickly and skillfully interrupts, smacking her hands together with a large fake grin. She nearly pushes Rhemi to the back room to change out of it.
Portia grumbles under head breath, helping her get back into the changing room. “What the fuck is that guy’s—” Words fail her as soon as she notices her friend’s tears in her eyes and the sorrow filled look in her face. “Oh… no, Rem!” Hastily, she hands her a tissue before her makeup runs.
“It just…. So much is happening….. And…. He- ...He thinks it ….lo- looks bad….” Rhemi sniffles, trying to keep the tears from falling, her nose and lips starting to crinkle back. “Is-is it really that bad??”
Portia is quick to embrace her upset friend and hug her tightly. “No, no, no…. He’s wrong, Rem. You look gorgeous! He doesn’t know the hell he’s talking about! I mean, the guy wears an ugly ass cape for god sakes! If anything he’s a walking fashion nightmare! All he’s missing is the stupid puffy pants and a fourteen foot stick up is ass!” Slowly, she pulls away and wipes the tears from her friend's eyes comfortingly. “Please don’t cry, Rhemi. You really do look amazing. Agrippa, Pierre, Nadia, and I would have told you if it didn’t!... Please, don’t let this jerk make you think otherwise.”
“I don’t think he was trying to be a jerk… he was just telling me how he felt… I mean… I asked him what he thought after all…. and….. h-his opinion is v-valid.”
Portia flutters her eyes and shakes her head baffled. Rhemi is usually a pretty good judge of character, yet anytime anyone says anything bad about the Archmagister, she denies it, or makes excuses. “Rhemi….. Why do you keep defending this guy?! All he’s done is been rude and disregards everyone’s feelings.”
Rhemi stifles and quickly wipes her nose with a handkerchief, refusing to look Portia in the eye. “.... H-... He’s my father.”
“Yeah! One that you just mee—” Portia suddenly stops herself, pressing her lips tightly together and slightly shakes her head. Perhaps now isn’t the time. Rhemi isn’t seeing this man for what he is. Thoughtfully she starts to speak again. “...Look… all I’m saying is that no matter who this person is to you, no one should make you cry and make you feel like shit in your wedding dress.”
Rhemi fiddles with her fingers, not very convinced. “B… But what if he’s right?”
The Devorak sister takes a large breath, pushing down the urge to go back and knock the wind out of that plum haired asshole. But as calmly as she could she takes both of her friend’s hands and asks, “Rem. Sweetie. Do you love this dress?”
Sheepishly her friend replies, “... Y-... yes….”
“Does it make you feel all happy and warm inside when you put it on?”
“Uh- huh….”
“Do you feel amazing when you’re in it??”
“Y-... yeah…I do....”
“Then forget what he said! It makes you feel amazing… You cried your beautiful eyes out when you first got into it because you said you felt so amazing. You loved it! You still love it! This is your dress. Please don’t let that man take that away from you.”
Silence takes over the room as Rhemi ponders her friend’s words for a moment and she sniffles. The most concerning thing was seeing her sick past self staring at her from across the room. She’s never seen her outside of the dream realm till now… Perhaps it was her that Rhemi heard the other day in the palace and who she saw in the mirror this morning. Who else could it be??
Portia sighs and loops her arm through Rhemi’s. “Come on. Let’s get ya out so Pierre can finish up, ok?” Rhemi follows her, but doesn’t pick up her eyes, still totally lost in thoughts. In a last attempt, Portia leans her head on her shoulder. “... You really look amazing, Rem.”
Silently Rhemi nods with a fake half grin, finally picking up her gaze to meet her friend. “Thanks, Portia… I’m really glad you are here.” She says placing her head on top of her’s.
“...Haha.. You’re lucky my brother wasn’t here—”
“—Oh gods yeah! He probably would have decked him in the face.”
“Hell! You’re lucky I didn’t!”
“Thank you, Pasha.” Rhemi mutters as stops in her tracks so she could embrace her friend.
“What are maids of honor for?” Portia whispers back, kindly embracing her back.
“Please don’t tell Muri about this….”
“.... I… I promise.”
Eventually, the two get the dress off without disturbing any of the pins on the bottom. The apprentice makes sure her eyes aren’t red in the dressing room before she walks out to meet her father again. The tension in the room was so tangible, so intoxicating.
Portia and Agrippa watched from the tailor door as Rhemi and her father walked towards the palace.
The silence was absolutely dreadful on the way to the palace. Luckily, it was within a short distance and this night would be over with. Rhemi never felt so conflicted before. Everything was so overwhelming lately. All she wanted was for her father to be happy for her. But everything she did seemed to blow up in her face.
As they reach the palace, her father finally realizes that she wasn’t walking towards the shop. “Well…. This is you.” She announces, rather happy to be done with him for the day.
“Oh…” He says a bit bewildered. “.... But I thought I was walking you home.”
“No no no. The palace is right around the corner from Pierre’s. It doesn’t make any sense going all the way across town.”
“Please. I don’t mind.”
“No, Père. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay??” Turning away from him never felt better. She hated to admit it, but he was just exhausting to be around. And after today, she had just enough of it all. “Good night.” She says just turning her so he could hear her.
With a knowing sigh, he places his cane hard into the cobblestone with a clank. “...Is it what I said about the dress.. Isn’t it?” She stops in her tracks but doesn’t look behind her… Maybe he’s going to apologize? “... Rhemielia, dear. Believe me when I say that you are making a huge mistake.” Her fists clenched so hard it almost hurts, her hopes crushed once again. Nope. Of course he wasn’t going to apologize. “... I am telling you that there are better men in Charlès that would put you into the finest of wedding gow—”
“—Have a nice night, Père…” Rhemi mutters trying to hold back the tears. “I’ll... I’ll see you later.”
As Rhemi makes her way down the street and disappears into the crowd. Martin can’t help but remember that night when he lost her. All he could do was just sit there and watch as she was swept away by that dreadful witch. Just like his other dream with the young woman whose neck was snapped. He felt so powerless of movement in these moments.
As he stood there, for one of the first times in years, Martin felt a pull on his chest. A feeling like he might have done something wrong tonight. He hadn’t felt like this since… Well… Since Rhemi’s birthday nearly fifteen years ago now.
He never meant to hurt her. She just… needed to learn a lesson…
“She’ll be fine.” He mutters to himself, shaking off this feeling of regret. “... One day she’ll thank me.”
On the way home, Rhemi made sure she got rid of all her tears before she came back home with Muriel for the night. It's a good thing people usually leave you alone when you're crying. If Muriel notices, she’ll just say that they were good tears from the fitting. All happy tears. Nothing bad happened. It’s all good!… But he knows they’re not.
————Rowdy Raven————
SKKKKIIIIIRRRRT!!!!
“—THAT BASTARD SAID WHAT ABOUT HER DRESS??” Julian shouts standing up from the table in dismay.
The tavern is busy like it usually is. Agrippa, Portia, Julian, and Asra decided to have a drink after today. It was only Monday, but it felt like everyday was an eternity since Sir Martin came into port. Portia had just finished telling her brother and his partner about what had happened at the tailors, and of course they were enraged.
Asra just yanks him back down to his chair. “Shhhh!! Ilya! Would you please calm down! Believe me, I’m just as pissed as you are!”
“If I only had my cricket bat….” Agrippa says, fantasizing while staring at the wall, sipping on their ale. “Fucking asshole…” They say as Portia holds their hand with a sweet reassuring smile.
“Did he really make her cry??” Asra asks soberly.
Portia nods sadly. “It was absolutely heartbreaking. I’ve never seen her look so frustrated and hurt before! But don’t tell Muriel! I promised her I wouldn’t.”
“Why did you tell us then?”
“She only said, Muriel.” She shrugs. “...It’ll just make the poor guy more stressed out anyways. He’s under a lot of pressure as well. This is his wedding too.”
Asra's stomach tied in knots at the thought of his best friend crying. “What the hell is this guy’s problem???”
“You should have heard what he said before she tried on the dress.” Agrippa mumbles before taking a large swing of their ale again.
“What did he say??” Julian and Asra ask at the same time, leaning closer into the table.
“It was something along the lines that he ‘couldn’t believe that she was serious about marrying that ‘seven foot tall brute’... I heard them talking before we opened the door.”
Asra's nose crinkles in and his top half of his lip curls into a snarl. “And what did she say??”
“Oh! She was quick to defend him, and she almost looked angry. But at the same time…. afraid? I dunno—but it's like her father doesn’t realize that Rhemi is her own person now…. She’s not that child that was taken from him years ago.”
“.... Do you think he still sees her as a little kid?”
Portia shrugs, staring at a stain on the wooden table. “.... Maybe?... I feel like he sees her more of something that was his property… Not really another person with feelings.”
Julian slams his fists on the table, “THAT’S. IT!” making everything rattle and clank, nearly spilling a few drinks. He snaches his goblet, jumping to a stand and chugging down the last of his Salty bitters, then throws his glass down to the ground, smashing it into a hundred pieces. “—IMMA KILL ‘EM!”
“Ilya! Sit your drunk ass down and shut up!! You’re not killing anyone!” Portia scolds. “WE four, collectively…. however might just—”
“Pasha!” Asra laughs, tugging his drunken partner back down to his chair again. “That’s a bit extreme don’t you think?? How about we just talk to Rhemi about it.”
“That man is completely toxic.” Julian mumbles, taking Asra’s drink from his hands. “... *Hiccup*....Have you…. Have you noticed that Rhemi isn’t as bright as she normally is?” Julian mutters, sipping the last bit of Asra’s salty bitters since he threw down his own cup.
“.... I have…. and something about all of this bothers me.” Asra says leaning into the table with his arms folded. “....I feel like her father is killing her spirit…. I wonder if he’s always been like this….. And if that's true… it makes me wonder…” he pauses for a movement then shakes his head. “N… Nevermind.”
“What?” Agrippa, Portia, and Julian ask in unison.
“.... *Sigh*.... I might be going too far if I say this.”
“Well now you have to tell us.” Agrippa says with a straight face about to knock back the last bit of ale.
“.... I don’t know…… Sometimes I wonder if she and her mother were really….. ‘Kidnapped’.”
The table suddenly became so eerily quiet, as if they all were thinking the same thing.
✨To be continued…
Sorry for the long wait my trash pandas. But I really needed this break from writing. And I'm really glad I took it. I am so happy with myself right now. I know its still not by best work, but I at least don't hate it. This chapter was supposed a bit longer, but I decided not to shoot myself in the foot this time and just split it.
Thank you for the babies who have been support and encouraging to me when I was at a really low point. I was really sad that last chapter didn't do as well as I was hoped. But I realized that a lot of people are still reading and I need to be humble and be grateful for what I have. Anyways--chapter 7, The King of Pentacles~ should be up soonish. That may be another shorter chapter, but it gonna be a big angsty one. *wink wink*. As always, thanks for reading my hot garbage! <3
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lils-of-the-valley · 3 years
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Like Hawkmoth with his latest Chloe akumatization, I will attempt a back to back review of an episode. This time, it's Optigami! I admit I'm a little scared for this one because I've seen quite a bit of salt, but I'm hopeful. So lets jump right in!
Ok, we start with a flashback to Miracle Queen (I, uh... never watched it. I watched it back when there was no French sub or an English dub out and straight up forgot about the fact that I was supposed to watch it again. Is it too late and useless or should I go watch it on Netfix?)
That is the creepiest origami akuma I've ever seen
I don't like Audrey.... If there's one thing I learned from ML is that I don't like rich parents because they all seem to be bitches
Damn Marinette, holding a semi-squat for 10 minutes without moving. That's gotta hurt, no?
Wait, DJWifi are being so cute!! They were my first OTP in this show and I would die for them!
Adrien's face of confusion when seeing Mari look like a spider refusing to get in the elevator
The fuck Alec. Why are you locked up in a stall playing a kid's game on your phone? Shouldn't you be, Idk, working??
Wait, what the actual fuck. I too would be freaking out
I HATE GABRIEL SO MUCH OH MY FUCKING GOD
Ok, but like, there's just something about 1) Hawkmoth doing his monologue in a public bathroom, 2) Alec shitting his pants behind him, watching the monologue happen
KAGAMI NOOOOO
ZOÉ!! There's something cute about her hiding with Chloe
Chloe, that was a bitch move
Alya, now is not the time to tease Mari about the Adrien situation! We need a hero to save Paris!
Nino is such a cute boyfriend uwu
I never like Alec, but I 100% understand his horror rn
How the fuck did Luka and Wayhem get into the vents???
I love Adrien's perception! We're so used to seeing Marinette be "our everyday Ladybug" but I can't wait to see more Adrien being a hero out of costume!
Did they really almost reveal their identities? I mean, I know it's too early, but I can't wait for that to happen, even if it's only in season 6 or 7, I promise to be patient
Wait, it took all that time for Kim to get up? HOW MANY FLIGHTS OF STAIRS DID THAT KID RUN UP????
NINO NOOOOOOO
NOT SENTI-NINOOOOOO
Ok, there is no reason for this to be so funny, the Eiffel Tower being in the desert right after Kaalki says that she never causes chaos has me in tears
I know Alya was only trying to do what was right, but now I'm scared. Is Hawkmoth going to steal the turtle miraculous?
Marinette upon realizing how much fixing will be needed after this battle: suddenly, I feel tired
Oh my god I would die for LadyBee
Ok, I see why people were upset, but like, 1) how was Mari supposed to know that sending Adrien away would keep CN away? 2) she was protecting Adrien. 3) it was really unpredictable that CN would be kept out of this battle
So CN can't use his Cataclysm on himself, it seems. That's good to know
Ooh, good perception LB!
YAYYY!! Even if he didn't do much, Kitty still helped!!
You know what, I'm really happy that Alya gets to become a permanent hero. She deserves it and everyone wanted that back when Rena Rouge was first announced. So yayyy for permanent Rena!
Also, did I mention that I HATE GABRIEL AGRESTE???
All in all, I really liked this episode. We're getting to see more than just Ladybug and Chat Noir which I find great! I don't know why people didn't like this episode, I found it great. I enjoyed getting to see Natalie, feels like we haven't seen her in forever. I was hoping to see more Kagami (Idk, the title Optigami gave me Kagami hopes, but I guess it was just a play on optical and origami) but that's fine, an assumption of my part. I can't wait to see Chat's reaction when LB introduces Rena as a permanent member and how that's going to go (I'm sure he'll be excited!) and I'm curious as to how Gabriel will go about knowing that Rena = Alya
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