#this scavenger hunt thing is so fucking fun im loving this

[piratespencil]

That was SUCH a fun episode!! The second they pulled out those blindfolds I was like oh this is gonna rock and it did.

[snickerdoodlles]

📚

please?

❣.

so you know the tiktok hiding guy? this guy;

so picture Chay as this guy. he loves to hide things, but has nothing to hide (well. he kinda does, he hides some of the more sentimental things from loan sharks and uncle Arthee, but besides that). but he keeps hollowing out books and making sneaky can hideaways and picking up hide-a-keys from dumpsters and thriftstores, because enrichment. Porsche enables this 200%, because Porsche enables and encourages Chay in anything he does.

so picture if you will, Kim's first visit to snoop. even before Chay rushes to lock his door, Kim notices a few...odd things about Chay's home. a book with the wrong edges worn. a too thick picture frame. a can that rattles wrong. he is all very calm and patient and Not Thinking About It Too Hard while he and Chay play guitar, then he sends Chay off to go get noodles and starts tearing through the house as quick as he can. the locked landing door is calling him, but first a quick stop by that picture frame that's been bugging him. it opens easily and Kim finds...an old song notebook? what??? grabs a nearby can that's out of place and unscrews it to find...tylenol? Kim's used to hiding pills, but???? tylenol????? checks one of the books that was bothering him and four come away to reveal a hollowed core hiding...a candle??????

Kim is. so confused. so intrigued. starts tearing through the living room to uncover more and more hideaways hiding completely innocuous stuff. every time he thinks "wait, what about that door?" he gets distracted by something that isn't quite right and he jumps to dig into that. what the fuck does any of this MEAN.

Chay comes back to Kim wearing guilt like a coat and surrounded by trails of the random shit he's hidden over the years. he stares at Kim, stares at the mess, then bursts out laughing and asks if Kim's found the hidden safe or key yet. !!!!! goes Kim's brain and he's off to the races. they definitely forget about their noodles while Kim has a blast going on a seemingly never-ending scavenger hunt and Chay eggs him on.

this eventually carries on to when they get together. think Chay's hidden polaroids move but dialed up to 20, nothing is safe. forget clearing out half his closet, Kim clears out a wall safe for Chay and gets kissed against the wall right next to it. eventually they install a closet with hidden compartments worthy of a hollywood blockbuster. Chay is still hollowing out books and converting cans into hideaways even with the fancy stuff. Kim is on an eternal scavenger hunt. they are having so much fun.

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

[babiebom]

yeah me too! my friends and I actually do have some plans of streaming together, so that should be fun... if we ever stop procrastinating 😆

a whole week?? wow that's some top notch commitment 👏

props to you guys lmaoo

I hope to see the fnaf movie soon, but the 5 of us can't settle on a date so it's tricky :/

hopefully soon we can actually watch it tho lol

unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a romance mod for Mr. qi yet 😕 😞

im half tempted to attempt making my own, but I dropped coding agess ago lmao.. don't know where I'd start 😅

altho I think if i were to make one, he'd not move in w the farmer. idk he just doesn't seem the type. he's got the vibes of rich hubby on vacation who sends you stuff.. that might just be me tho lol

speaking of, may I request nsfw mr. qi headcanons with an ftm! reader?

tysm :]

-🔮

A/N:omfg? Idk how I didn’t see this until now I’m no sorry! I hope you’ve gotten to see the movie by now especially with how many spoilers are on EVERY app. If you ever do make the mod let me know! I wanted to get back into coding but then remembered that I actually hated it so unfortunately I can’t. I do wanna try to make a game in itch.io(is that the website for the games?) that is the choose your own adventure fic that I’m writing but I don’t know how i would even do it. Also agree with the rich hubby thing. I don’t think he would ever actually settle down ANYWHERE. like he’d be home like 2 days out of the week at most.

Tw:Sexual content! Cursing

ALSO idk if this should go under warnings, but I would also like to say that I am not trans myself, so if I write something that’s inaccurate or offensive make sure to let me know, I’m trying my best to write from that pov I just wanted to….warn? Let you know? Like I do not mind writing this at all(no transphobes allowed) I just want to make sure that I’m writing/understanding well!!

Wc: 30 bullet points

Sdv Masterlist

Also fucking and making love are two DIFFERENT things

I 100 percent believe that gender identity doesn’t matter to Mr.Qi at ALL.

I also think he doesn’t care about bottom/top surgery at ALL

Like he is a fan of mystery, of the unknown that’s what he likes, and he likes people that also have those interests, or people that make him interested in a similar way.

(I think he would be pansexual? Demisexual?)

So in his mind he knows that you have nothing to worry about. He also knows that emotions don’t follow logic half of the time and that your nerves can’t be dispelled just by him saying that you have nothing to worry about.

So he shows you.

Depending on if you’re a romantic/sentimental person or not he does different things

Like would set up and entire display with roses and everything, music playing and snacks to make you feel loved and comfortable

but if you’re not the type of person to like that sort of thing he would probably do something more chaotic like a scavenger hunt for you throughout the day(which arguably could be seen as more romantic) that leads you on a wild goose chase and allows him to set something up at home(your home but like whatever)

Making love to him is very sweet. He tries to keep the teasing to a minimum

By minimum I mean he only teases in the beginning, and not how he usually would. Would probably edge you for a little just to make your first orgasm mind blowing then would get on with it.

He does slow his pace down for love making because it’s more…spiritual(?) like it’s an exchange of love and it’s not only for pleasure y’know. It’s literally to express how you feel for each other.

NOW FUCKING IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING

I do think he would be on the more dominant side, preferring to tease and take control, coaxing out things you didn’t know you had within you

Will let you take control though

He is a man of curiosity

Wonders how you will behave when given a dominant position

Doesn’t refuse anything you want to do, but is mischievous the entire time. Has a stupid smirk on his face that makes you think that you have absolutely no control.

Idk if it’s magic or what but always does SOMETHING to make everything more sensitive.

Is VERY into blindfolding

Wants genuine reactions without self consciousness getting in the way.

Good/smart/naughty boy are a part of his vernacular and he will use it only when you’re too fucked out to react to him saying it in any other way than incoherent whining.

Probably into shibari and likes to be tied up and tying you up.

Blindfolds + shibari is a normal night ngl.

The glasses stay on during sex idc

He makes sure by the end of it that both of you are sweaty and out of breath

Likes having sex in different locations with a tiny bit of risk. Like he doesn’t want the two of you to get caught

But he wonders what would happen if you did…

The sexual experience with him is always a good one somehow even when he wants to try out weird kinks.

[pansy-picnics]

LANCE IS THE BEST BECSUSE HIM AND EUGENE ARE JUST. THE DADS

Lance sees a mildly upset child and decides he needs to talk to them about it, because he won’t let more kids become like him and Eugene. He notices the way Varian seeks out praise and gives him praise, but encourages him to be proud of himself too. He noticed how Catalina and Angry hoard little things that they steal and offers them safe spaces to have those little things. He noticed how Hugo doesn’t do well with rich people and removing the mask he’s created for himself and invites him on scavenger hunts so he can have some semblance of his old life of scheming. He notices how Nuru tends to take on more than she can handle, as well as trying to “parent” adults and reminds her that Varian and Hugo can take care of themselves, but offers her books about princesses so she can steal read about people like her. He notices Yong struggling to get along with people because he’s loud and bad at social cues and makes it a point to spend time with him, and Lance is never gonna turn down an opportunity to create a good explosion. He’s just got the BEST dynamics, and I feel like after being one of the older kids at the orphanage, he’s good with kids. He remembers what it’s like to be a kid, and he doesn’t want them to have the experienced he did.

GODDDDDDD YES LITERALLY!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!!! IM SO INSANE IM GOING TO. GRRRAGGHGHHGGHHHH. i think lance was truly the first person hugo warmed up to when she moved to corona. like she’s very similar to both him and eugene but i think she and eugene are just Too similar at first and their egos clash a lot. but lance is chill. he’s not as adrenaline seeking and doesn’t have the same egotistical tendencies eugene does. he’s literally just. a dad. and hugo ends up benefiting from that a lot!!!

especially bc i think the idea of having to get to know everyone because of his new connection with varian stressed hugo out a LOT, he’s never been used to having this many connections or associations with people by default and suddenly he feels like he needs to be a part of this family when he’s Not because it’s Not His. they isolated for a while bc of it but lance never even mentioned it. when hugo came out of their slump and truly wanted to make an effort to bond with everyone, lance didn’t say anything. he just welcomed them and let them hang out at their own pace.

hugo messes with the girls like they’re his own sisters and he loves inventing all the stupid stuff for them that varian thinks he’s too good for. he has breakfast with them on weekends and he definitely calls lance dad by accident at least once and he actually is so embarrassed he wants to crawl into a hole and die

GODDD AND YONG AND LANCE………they cook together and yong teaches him all the recipes his mom taught him. yong’s been seen as too much or too annoying by so many people and he’s so happy to just meet a grown up who’s basically JUST LIKE HIM and is PROUD and THRIVING. yong admires lance so much he wants to be just like him and it’s the sweetest thing. and him and the girls are literally best friends. like they are The Trio Ever to me.

and LIKE YOU SAID EXACTLY nuru loves the opportunity to just let loose and have fun and be a dumb teenage girl for a change. yeah team radical is great but like have you ever considered yong nuru kiera and catalina? they’re literally the worst and lance encourages them and its fucking gold

[richardgoranski]

musical recs!

more obscure ones first - the mad ones: non-linear story that takes place in the main characters head as, within the second it takes for her to turn her cars key, she relives the series of events that led to her deciding to run away from home instead of going to college ("i have to back inside" "go." "im supposed to be leaving for college today" "go!" "im the valedictorian, the valedictorian goes to college" "...oh, i know." "...but what if...?" "...what if... she doesn't? oh, twist.") mostly focuses on her relationships with her mother, her (ex) boyfriend and her best friend who is insanely funny but also super weird and fucked up. also cars. if youve heard "run away with me" its from this show! oh and critical context that i was not aware of when i first listened to it, its very important to know that "the proposal" is entirely within the protagonists head and does not literally happen. id highly recommend reading the script its so good - vanities: shows the friendship between three girls, first when theyre in high school, then when theyre in college, then when theyre adults and have drifted apart, its very fun but also kinda tragic and the music is super cute - head over heels (this one was on broadway but almost everyone i talk to about it isnt familiar so i consider it obscure): so theres this kingdom whose livelihood depends on some unexplained magic thing they call "the beat" and the king hears from a (notably nonbinary, played by peppermint, the first trans woman to originate a leading role on broadway) mysterious oracle that the kingdom will lose its beat when 4 vague prophecies come to pass, so the king tricks his family into going on a road trip so he can make sure the prophecies dont happen, but uh oh! his daughters unapproved shepherd boyfriend follows along in the disguise of a sexy amazon warrior and literally the entire family is hot for him/her in this disguise. it gets weirder. also its a jukebox musical with songs by the go-gos. also the dialogue is shakespearean. - love in hate nation: you probably know about this one because its a joe iconis show, but in case you dont- its the 60s and susannah, a black teenage girl with a ukulele she writes songs on, is sent to juvy (which is kind of unsubtly a metaphor for The State) where she meets a bunch of other fucked up teen girls, one in particular is like if james dean were a rock and roll chick and susannah falls head over heels for her. lauren marcus plays an evil fucked up lady in charge of the juvy and events occur!

less obscure: - 9 to 5 the musical: its 9 to 5! songs by dolly parton! i love it! - moulin rouge!: moulin rouge! -freaky friday the musical: so because every freaky friday has a different plot i actually have to synopsize a little bit- mom and daughter swap bodies as is expected, moms an uptight chef whos getting married to her new bf, daughters a slacker and a bit of a jerk but we like her anyway, the plot hinges on finding the second of a pair of magic hourglasses in a scavenger hunt run by the daughters crush, the actors playing the mom/daughter duo are like sooooo good you kind of forget that they dont literally swap bodies out of character

omg i actually saw head over heels on broadway😳!! i’ve actually never heard of vanities so i’ll have to check it out for sure!! and same with freaky friday.. i mean i know freaky friday of course but did not know there was a musical LOL. thank you so much for these and for the summaries / commentary as well!!!!!

[star-mum]

Live Star Reaction - Saw II

im eating popcorn (hooray) so I'm writing this one handed, I apologize for any typos

OH MY GOD !!!! I WAS GONNA SAY THE KEY WAS IN HIS EYE BUT I WASNT FAST ENOUGH

damn I guess I'd just die on this one, let's make a list at the end of this of which Saw Traps I could REALISTICALLY survive and which ones I'd give up on

Venus Fly Trap: absolutely dying, at least it'd be quick

awn man I hope our friend from the last movie survived (I don't remember his name, the journalist)

"i haven't heard from you" yeah I fucking wonder why

(hope he didn't get Saw Trapped)

Are rhey gonna have a weird forced romance? i hope not :/

WHAT ? DONT APOLOGIZE TO HIM !!! HE'S AN ASSHOLE !!!

THEY'RE JUST GONNA GET HIM ????? cute ceramics bowl by way

CREEEEPY DOLL SHIT !!! Aaaand now they're dead, sucks to suck i guess

"get on your knees" *is on a wheelchair* "I don't think so 😌"

"the problem in that room" oh his son got saw trapped daaaaaammnnn

is it all their families ???

"tell me where he is" YES OF COURSE, HE DID ALL OF THIS ONLY TO TELL YOU THE ANSWER RIGHT AWAY

hey guy ik you're spiraling but this 9 year bullshit isn't helping anybody

AMANDA ?????? DAAAAMMNN TWICE IN A ROW GIRLIE ?????

the FIRST thing she did when she woke up was check the back of her head, thats a fucked up attention to detail

did he tattoo the numbers on the back of their heads ? and do theu have to go in order of the rainbow? they're all swearing different colors

or maybe in order of the names (like the initials that match the colors)

hello door, what is this about?

IS IT OUR BUDDY FROM THE LAST MOVIE ????

or is this part of the game?

"while your coming up with a game plan, im getting out of here" if by here you mean the living plain then yeah, I'd have to agree

WHAT DID HE DO 5 YEARS AGO ????? OOOOHHHH GET HIS ASS BRO

"could you get me a glass of water" ... i didn't know you got water... in this creepy lil hideout

this is driving me insane: is that Penelope Cruz ? (i have actor face blindness so I have truly have No Idea if they're even similar)

that's a fun little scavenger hunt we're going on 😊

WHO IS THAT ????? oh ;-; ew ;-;

have they all had issues with the law ? cause those 3 have been arrested and the kid just got got at the beginning of the movie, besides all the investigation stuff Im sure she got in trouble for the drug abuse

"he kidnapped me in the middle of the night" YEAH YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SPECIAL BLONDIE, SHUT THE FUCK UP (ik she's dying but she's annoying also, im sure there's a fucked reason why she's here)

who would've thunk that going into a furnace would've been a bad idea

gotta be one of the top 3 worst ways to go honestly

KSKSKSKS John Kramer is a fucking yapper, love that

get your hand away from the teenage boy, Laura

"started in jail" I TOLD YOU !!!!!!

DID HIS FATHER ARREST EVERYONE HERE ????? that'd be crazy actually

THAT IS SO FUCKED KKSKSKSS "it'll be like finding a needle in a haystack haha" HE'S SO CUNTY ABOUT IT

MOTHERFUCKER !!! HE JUST CHUCKED HER IN HERE !!! OH I HOPE HE DIES NEXT

I say we kill this guy, i mean who's gonna check if one more person dies in this place

"no more talking" we haven't done ANY TALKING cause of your INSUFFERABLE ASS

"i know how this guy works, he's playing a game" oh what privileged information that he aLREADY GAVE US DIRECTLY, YOU USELESS FUCKING BITCH

"you may not remember them but they definitely remember you" DO I JUST HAVE A HUGE BRAIN ?????

HE DID TATTOO IT ON PEOPLE !!!! IM SO SMART !!! I'D SURVIVE THIS TRAP !!!!

is the big guy gonna go around killing folks to check the numbers, cause that's stupid

LEEEEEESSSS GOOOOOOOO !!! KICK HIS ASS BRO

oh please dont die ;-; awn man ;-; i hate this guy

"you two are on your own" no... You're on your own, they're together (for now at least)

he's not focusing on the colors, how is he gonna remember the right order

if detective lady was serious about stopping bad cop n1, she would've shot him

"I'll take you to the house" bby girl do you REALLY THINK he's taking you there

IS JOHN GONNA MAKE HIM CRASH THE CAR ???? He survived once, he could do it again (i really hope he does honestly)

IS A FAKE FLOOR ?????

IS THE BIG TWIST THAT AMANDA WAS HELPING KRAMER THIS WHOLE TIME ????? That'd be fucking lit actually

oh shit he did take him to the house, alright damn maybe force does work

... why is Penelope Cruz not screaming anymore?? THAT'S NOT THE HOUSE !!!! IT'S A FAKE ?????

OH HEY FIRST MOVIE BBY LES GO

awn he dead ;-;

KILL HIM WITH THE SAW !!!!!

"how are you gonna know your number if i dint tell you?" *doesn't fucking hesitate* THAT IS DERANGED !!!!! WOOOOOWWWW

IT WAS A FAAAAAAAAKEEEEEE !!!!!!! THAT'S CRAZY

IS IT A FAKE HOUSE OR RECORDED FEED ?????

IT'S RECORDED !!! OF FUCKING COURSE THAT'S WHY IT WAS SI DARK AND THE BODIES LOOKED LIKE THAT!! THATS WHY PENELOPE WASN'T FUCKING SCREAMING ANYMORE !!!!!

hey guys, ik it's the point but I can't see shit !!!

WHAT THE FUCK ???? (pig mask is so fucking creepy)

where they here the entire time ? THAT'S CRAZY !!!!!!

IS THE ENDING THE SETUP FOR THE THIRD MOVIE ????

WAS THIS A REVENGE PLOY FOR AMANDA ????? YEEEAAAAHHHHHH !!!!! LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOO

are you like so proud of me? except for parts I spewed insane garbage that had nothing to do with the plot : DD

is Kramer dead ??????

[symphonicmetal101]

Outdoor Forest Dates They Would Love

Im not saying stargazing

LUCIFER

- Fishing

- Dad sport

- Im not elaborating

MAMMON

- Trail blazing and/or hiking

- Are you kidding? This man has so much energy and curiousity, he would ADORE going hiking with you, whether that means along concrete paths in the woods or on foot through the woods and making your own path, he loves it.

- He also loves to do scavenger hunts with you, because the woods can be a treasure chest. It also helps him appreciate the little things he sometimes misses.

LEVI

- Canoeing

- Its peaceful, its just the two of you, its quiet, its beautiful oh fuck its really just the two of you

- gets a little flustered but eventually wants to show off in and with the water, manipulating it into whatever you want to see.

- Also has fun if both of you are trying to row and its been a while/youve never done it so it gets confusing shdbdjsj

SATAN

- Shelter construction

- He doesnt mind setting up a tent, yes he does, hes terrible at, but he likes the idea of implementing some ideas hes seen in his survival books.

- Also involves math and physics to a degree (haha) so hes all in

- gets a splinter in 0.003 seconds, doesnt make a big deal about it outwardly but internally screaming at the amount of f i l t h that just entere- oh you brough hydrogen peroxide and a bandaid, you're a life saver

-Ends up building a solid, warm and comfy shelter with you

-If it rains though, hes noping out of there

ASMO

- Wild berry picking

- ok yeah, hes a little worried about the juice

- and the bugs

- and his hands

- but nothing a small spell and cute gardening gloves cant fix.

- he loves having a competition to see who can pick the almost overripe berries without them falling apart

- at home he'll turn some into chapstick

- but for now he'll settle for the berry-flavoured kisses (after you guys wash the berries in some clean water from your water bottle bc I hc Asmo as a minor germaphobe)

BEEL and BELPHIE

- Campfire dinners and stories

- They go hand in hand so I'm not separating them

- Beel loves campfire dinners, and to hold you while Belphie tries to spook you a bit with some horror stories, before giving up and lying across your lap seeking your hand in his hair

- Smores will get all over all three of you, even if Beel is the only one eating them

BARBATOS

- Trapping/ knot practice/lashing (I was originally gonna do like...a botany scavenger hunt, which he would LOVE but I dont have the braincells beyond that idea)

- He enjoys trapping any animal in a humane manner in which they would die quickly, but if that makes you uncomfortable or sad he wont do it around you

- Instead he'll show you how to tie knots and lash things together.

- If you two keep at it, you'll have a solid shelter

- Ghost moment in which he'll come behind you and show you how to tie a few knots.

DIAVOLO

- Wood burning!!

- you had to find a way to cheer him up after he took the phrase "tree hugger" too far and demolished it

- but there were parts of the tree you were able to salvage, and with his help, cut into discs. (After you got him to stop crying because he killed the tree by accident)

- you explained how wood burning and a fire was different before he started using his magic to etch a somewhat lopsided smily face into his disc of wood

- its a work in progress but hes incredibly happy and hopes you are too

MEPHISTOPHELES

- Archery/Shooting practice

- He has a cane, which to me says his leg is gimped in some way- you can choose in what way or if hes just a fancy bitch

- but his upper body strength is better than his lower body, and not necessarily needing to walk or run makes target practice a fun thing for him to do outside other than horseback riding

- He'll want to show off just a bit first before showing you how to do it if you dont know already

- If you do, its gaaaaame on

SIMEON

- bird watching :)

- except this man is a disney fucking princess

- youre getting all the wildlife coming in

- gets very adorably excited at everything

RAPHAEL

- Meow meow I got no braincells

- collecting rocks?

- collecting rocks. Its an easy, repetitive and fun activity (for him) that helps take his mind off his past a bit

- loves using a rock tumbler later

LUKE (PLATONIC DATE)

- Tapping trees

- This kid would LOOSE IT (positive) if he got to make syrup with you

- you guys would get to make so many sweets with it together when its ready-

- I dont say maple specifically bc you can use different trees too

- So each date will be a different kind of tree so you can taste all the kinds of syrup!

SOLOMON

- BUG COLLECTING

- bugs are freaking cool and I like to think Solomon at least loves beetles

- so he would love going bug hunting with you

- if you dont like bugs he will convince you, or try to at least, to tolerate them. You've learned to tolerate him, havent you? How hard can a tiny bug be?

- totally wont take one home to scare the shit out of Asmo

THIRTEEN

- Rock climbing

- They are definitely a dare devil, and wont free climb only because you asked her not to. Please.

- She enjoys the rappelling part more than anything, and will hold you if you want it

Masterlist

- A lot of shouting because shes just...so happy to be up so high

- will fuck around a lot so you have to keep her safe...please...or join her

Anyways, hope yall enjoyed this! First piece with the newbies, Ive really only paid attention to Thirteen in the very very limited interactions I had with her so I apologize if theyre ooc

Remember you are loved and appreciated!

Masterlist

[jangofctts]

Thing for Trouble (boba fett x fem!reader x din djarin) (part one) (part two) (part three) (part four)

Rated: explicit 18+

word count: 7.6k

warnings: threesome, smut, thigh riding, oral female receiving, handjobs, unprotected sex (dont be a deadbeat, wrap that shCMEAT), light choking, throne fucking, vaginal fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, creampies, pet names, sub? din? more likely than you think (also lmk if I missed any tags!)    

a/n: yall im sorry this is such garbage but kjkwejh here we be. I hOPE YOU ENJOY THE CIRCUS. thank you to everyone who’s encouraged this so COME GET YALLS MANDO MEAT  

There isn’t much when he it comes to Tatooine and fun things to do. There’s pod acing, drinking, Sabaac tourneys, more podracing, gambling and scavenging. Unless there’s a festival or some wild event, you’re stuck with boredom and whatever you can scrounge up for fun in the palace. 

Now, don’t get it wrong—if you had it your way, you’d spend every waking hour trialing behind Boba, but you don’t want to smother. Fennec too—while you enjoy her company, you know that half of the reason she sticks around is Boba’s order for your protection. Kinda ruins the fun when you know she probably only tolerates you because she’s being paid to. Eh whatever—doesn’t stop you from tagging along on as she runs errands in town—besides, today you actually have a reason to be here instead of loitering like a lost puppy. 

Fennec tells you to be safe and com her the second trouble rears its ugly head and disappears into the weapons shop—muttering about her prized rifle being jammed or something. You don’t know, all you hear is that you have the entire afternoon to yourself to hunt down your oh so elusive prize. Star cherries.    

The markets are always vibrant. Jam packed with people from each and every corner of the galaxy, hundreds of booths and stalls selling their wares that varies from foods to jewelry to even bounty services. Tempting as is it is to peruse the sparkly rows of dainty necklaces and rings or inspect the vast array of beige ponchos and manilla undershirts—you have a purpose. A once a year chance you refuse to let go to waste.   

The shabby booth is tucked near the end of the street, the mountain of the little red fruits looking comical compared to the withered old lady who sits beside them. She flashes you a gap-toothed smile, the crowfeet wrinkles surrounding her eyes scrunch with the movement. “Ah! I was wondering when you’d show, dear.” 

“Hello, Mrs. Feraan,” you greet, bending at the was it to kiss her wrinkly cheek. The old vender was one of the first kind souls you met here when you arrived on Tatooine. In return for a couple compliments or an offer to be the lab rat to test her new recipes for pie or tarts, she hooks you up with the best of the cherries—handpicked with love. “How’s business today?”

She waves her hand in dismissal, her silver rings glinting in the sun. “Same as always, child.”

Eventually you work your way through the pleasantries and a couple, long winded tangents. The sort that only old people can flawlessly spin and keep you engaged. Trials and tribulations to earn your prize—you don’t mind sacrificing a couple hours.

Finally you’re allowed to walk away—cherries in hand and exceedingly eager for your sweet snack. Unfortunately, suffering through Mrs. Feraan’s old childhood laments is not the only bump in the road you have to face.       

Granted, it is your fault—not looking where your feet are taking you—

Your temple crashes into something agonizingly hard. You swear you hear a quiet bonk when your skull collides with the mystery material and fucking hell—you probably have a concussion from the force of it. 

Unbothered by your probable brain injury, you’re far more concerned with the cherries spilling onto the ground and so, as you flail and dramatically topple over—the brunt of your fall is cushioned by your shoulder. Something pops and yeah, ok, maybe you just tore a ligament but—kriffing worth it for the cherries you miraculously saved from their dusty graves.     

Your temper flares as you spot the dirty brown boots pointed in your direction. Maneuvering yourself up so you don’t also get trampled by the crowd, you bare your teeth and put on your best impression of a terrifying force of nature despite the fact you’ve been knocked flat on your ass. “What the fuck—“

The words shrivel up and die upon your tongue as your eyes slide up the stranger’s legs, broad shoulders sporting the shiny armor that twinkles in the midday suns. They then settle on an all too familiar helmet. Well, sorta—you’re familiar with a certain red and green one, not the equivalent of a wearable disco ball.

You squint as the stranger’s head dips to look at you crumpled at his feet. You dust yourself off and point an accusing finger. “Fuck is your problem standing in the middle of the road?”

The stranger quirks their head. “You ran into me—maybe you should watch where you’re stepping.”

The raspy voice is a striking sound. Mellow and silky even as it passes through the vocoder and dresses it in static charm. Some of your anger melts away—maybe this is the friend Boba was talking about—it’d make sense. They’re wearing the same type of armor…  

You shake your head and shove down your pride. You don’t think Boba would appreciate you chewing his ear off. “Sorry—you’re right.”

As you readjust your clothes and precious cherries you introduce yourself with a tiny smile. Yet just as you're about to ask him his name he interjects with a step forward. You flinch away but all he does is sweep back a strand of hair from your forehead, revealing a little nick in the skin. You hiss as his fingertips scrape against it--great, an actual head wound. “Are you alright?”

Maker—here you are, after yelling at him and he finds it in him to be compassionate. You wave away his concerns. “Y-yeah--peachy.” 

He apologizes with a dip of his head and words soaked in regret and fuck--now you feel bad. You wrack through your brain and search for last ditch attempts to fix this little mishap and settle with a half baked idea. It’s dumb--but hey, if it works, it works.  

“Seriously, it’s fine. But I mean, if you’re so worried, how about you walk me home and we call it even?” You propose, sticking out your hand to seal the deal. If your assumptions are right, he’d just be tailing you the whole way home anyway. “I’m headed towards the palace, so if it’s not too much out of your way then—“

He hesitates and interrupts by taking your hand. “Alright. Deal.” 

You smile. “Lovely.” 

On the return trip, Din is quiet—tells you his name and responds to your conversation fillers with interested hums—but other than that he remains on the silent end. Intriguing with a rounded softness unlike the armor he wears--a man of mystery much like  a certain someone who awaits you back home. Well--Din is less grumpy--by a long shot...but still. It’s easy to spot some of their shared similarities.  

                                        -=-=-=-

Upon arriving at the castle you part ways with Din before he reaches the throne room--you’re not too excited about showing off your new battle scar yet and while it was an accident, making an entrance with Din will make it far too easy to link the injury with him. Besides, you don’t wanna risk scaring off your new friend if Boba decides to showcase that tightly sealed lid of anger and brutality. 

Instead you take the long way around the palace. Soon, muffled voices carry through the long corridors, growing louder as you work your way back from the kitchens. You round the corner, catching glimpses of Boba and your new friend through the pillars that prop up the low ceiling. You don’t meant to spy, but you do so anyway, hesitant on interrupting.     

That is...until Boba cocks his head to the side and settles his eyes onto the pillar you hide behind. “It seems we have a little shadow with us today.” 

You suck in a breath as your heart skips in a thrumming pace. Boba addresses you by name and crooks his fingers in a lazy motion for you to step out into the light—revealing yourself to the small party of two. “Come here, little one.”

The low light catches off of Din’s helmet with a glittering sparkle when he swivels his head. The tiny, warped figure of yourself reflects in mirror-like pieces of smelted beskar as his shoulders pull tight with recognition. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep the smile that threatens to crack across your face at bay. Boba is no fool—he excels in the subtleties of shifting eyes and clenched fists to hide anxiety or closely guarded information—sickeningly familiar with your own quirks and tells, but—  

There’s no reason to reveal Din’s little secret—not yet. Boba called him a friend but you truly have no clue what the depths of that word entailed. Friend could mean anything from a casual acquaintance, to an old childhood bond, and or anything in between. You sigh and brush past him, mentally congratulating yourself for keeping a cool mask of indifference etched into your features. If Din wants to open that can of worms then so be it—you weren’t the one offering to walk random people home. 

You step onto the dais and slide your free hand into Boba’s outstretched palm. The worn leather tickles up your forearm and locks over your elbow, silently demanding you to sit on his lap. There’s plenty of room to both sit on the throne but no—Boba prefers you tucked against the cool metal of his cuirass. You grunt as the bowl of star cherries you cradle dangerously dips when Boba adjusts your weight over his thighs.  

His fingers pull back a strand of your hair, tucking it behind your ear and then spider along your jawline. The ends of his mouth quirk as Boba pinches your chin between his forefinger and thumb, capturing your undivided attention. “I don’t like it when you lurk in the shadows, little one. You’re allowed to listen.

You huff. “I know—but lurking is fun.”

Boba releases your chin with a scoff. “Foolish, girl.” You dip your chin with a sheepish grin as heat rushes to your cheeks. You briefly forget about the tiny nick adorning your right temple, the only thing you were trying to keep hidden—but Boba is all too quick to notice. “What is this?”

He pushes your hair out of the way of the cut, inspects it, then curls his fingers around your jaw to demand an answer. You refuse to let your eyes wander over to Din—what a dead giveaway that would be—and instead muster up enough courage to hold the weight of his stare. 

“I tripped at the markets,” you say—not a complete lie. “It’s just a little scratch—no biggie.”

Boba squints in suspicion and grumbles a soft hm. You feel his chest rise and fall with a deep sigh—he won’t argue about it right now. Not a battle worth his while when you’re keen on keeping the full truth behind a wall of teeth and anxieties. Boba’s hand falls away, gestures to Din who still stands stiffer than a stature, then lays it over the golden armrest. “I’m sure you’ve noticed our guest—“

Din tips his head in acknowledgement. 

“The rightful ruler of Mandalore,” Boba continues. “Din Djarin.” 

Din Djarin…despite already knowing his name (or half of it, at least) you like the way it rolls off the tongue—like how it’s seemingly made to be repeated and carved into the walls of some ancient script. Your knowledge on all things Mandalorian is…limited to say the least but you know enough about the rumors. 

“Isn’t Mandalore supposed to be haunted?” You don’t mean for your words to be a pointy jab to the ribs but regardless, it strikes a tender chord within the Mandalorian. You wince as Din shifts his weight and clenches his palm—a long story. “Sorry—I—I’m sure your home is lovely, all I know about it are dumb ghost stories about evil wizards and laser swords.” 

The blood under your cheeks burn red hot. Great. Not only are you a complete bantha brain, you’ve also managed to sound like an impudent child. Boba soothes a thumb over your thigh as you curl into yourself—bastard. He thinks this is funny.        

“It’s not my home,” Din responds, albeit tentatively. “Never been.”

Your brows furrow. Alrighty then.  

Boba snorts and shakes his head. He mutters something in Mando’a and lazily waves his hand, dismissing the line of conversation entirely. It was turning into a dumpster fire anyway—   

With a slow exhale, you remove yourself from the discussion and instead tuck your head under Boba’s chin. The beskar is cold against your cheek but it feels nice against the sweltering midday heat.  

Their conversation fades in and out as you rest your head over Boba’s cuirass, listlessly picking through the bowl of fruit for the ripest ones. You sigh—the next cherry you bring up to your lips is intercepted as Boba’s hand clamps around your wrist and redirects it into his own mouth. You don’t find it in you to be grumpy about the stolen treat when Boba’s tongue slides over your sticky fingers. Still holding your wrist captive, he sucks the tip of your thumb into the warm heat of his mouth and curls his tongue around the digit. Your index finger is given the same treatment before your hand is returned. The beginnings of arousal spark to life below your belly, and fuck—that shouldn’t have been so…so…hot. 

Din’s smoky baritone fades into background noise as the entirety of your attention zero’s in on Boba’s mouth. You purse your lips and suck in a shaky breath, then return your hand to the bowl to fish out another fruit. You don’t need any guidance this time around as you bring the cherry to his mouth—the crimson juice spilling down your palm and part of your arm as his teeth pierce the fragile skin. You breath hitches as Boba dips his head, catching the bead of liquid running down your arm with the tip of his tongue, then swiping s a slow trail up, and over the lines of your palm. He plants a careful kiss there, then breaks away. 

Before you have the chance to reach for another one, Boba plucks a cherry from the bowl and rests it against the seam of your lisp, inviting you to partake in this little game he’s created. A wicked smirk curls over his mouth as you accept—the tart flavor of the fruit spilling over your tastebuds as you chew and swallow. A little wine escapes you as his leather-clad thumb rolls over your bottom lip, bushes past the barrier of your teeth and seats the digit into your mouth—all the way down to the third knuckle. 

You hardly notice the moment Din’s voice tapers off into silence—much too enraptured with the taste of leather and the smooth feel of it over your tongue. You gag slightly when Boba’s thumb reaches the back of your throat, then retreats just as slow. The string of saliva that still connects the digit to your wet mouth, drips over your chin and part of your lip, eliciting a jagged, echoey breath that crackles through Din’s vocoder. 

Boba grins—something that better belongs on a sneering jackal just about to pounce on unsuspecting prey with needle sharp talons, rather than his face. His eyes drift up to address his guest. “Do you see something you like, Mand’alor?”

Din’s head jerks, averting his gaze to anywhere but the throne. He murmurs a weak apology and shifts his weight to his other leg—acting as if he were to look at you a second time, it’d burn him to a crisp or force him to confront Boba Fett’s wrath. Obviously, neither thing would happen, but Din still remains unsure with his foothold in this situation.   

“I see how you look at her,” Boba drawls—not an accusation, just a statement brought to light. Boba’s hand drops to your thigh, the warm weight of it resting just past your knee as Din swallows his nerves and returns his gaze. “It’s alright—a pretty little thing like her is bound to turn heads.” 

A blush hotter than wildfire licks up your cheeks as Din nods in agreement. “She’s beautiful…you’re a lucky man.”

Boba’s grip on your thigh hoards you closer to his chest. He is and he’s fully aware of that fact, but there’s no need to admit such a thing when it’s so blatantly obvious. A lull in the conversation creates a palpable tension—nervous energy and a choice to let this is fade into nonexistence or…or breathe life into that flickering ember of unsaid desires.     

Your heart leaps into your throat when Boba shatters the silence and addresses you. “You’re awfully quiet, princess…what do you think?”

He’s placing whatever this is into your hand and leaving you to call the shots. You’ve always been a troublemaker and there’s no will or way as to why you’d stop now. You look between your lover and Din as a smile curls over your face. “I think…if he’s so interested—why not give him a show? After all, he did bring me home—he deserves some reimbursement for the trouble.”

Boba’s shoulders jolt with a chuckle. “How chivalrous.” You shiver as he strokes the back of his finger down your cheek. “Fine, as you wish, little one—go play.” 

Giddy excitement bubbles through your chest as Boba offers Din to take a seat on the edge of the dais. Din still has an option to escape, to slip through the cracks and pretend this never happened—but stars, you hope he stays. Din takes a step forward, then another—and another until he’s standing before the throne. He studies the raised edge and gingerly takes a seat. 

You abandon your bowl of cherries onto the forearm of the throne and slip off Boba’s lap. You drift over to Din, his gloved fingers clenching and unclenching as they rest over his thigh plating. He’s purposefully avoiding your eye as you kneel beside him—still locked onto that niggling fear that this could be some sort of trick or test in resolve.      

Smiling sweetly, you skate your hand over his knuckles—guiding his large palm to your waist and then under and up your loose shirt and bra. Din mutters a curse as you place his palm over your breast. “I’m glad you stayed.”

Pleased with his reaction, you peel off your shirt and bra, breath hitching as Din pinches your nipple between his forefinger and thumb. “Same—I think…”

With a bit more bravery backing his movements, Din pulls away briefly, shucks off his gloves and encompasses both your breasts. They’re warm and calloused, riddled with silvery scars that stand out against his brown skin, a storybook of past battles—won and lost—all equally important to the fibers of his being that stitch him together into a whole. His hand whispers down the length of your ribcage, no doubt feeling the thrum of your heart beating wildly against the cartilage and bone. It tickles over the swell of your hips then—        

“You said you wanted to give him a show,” Boba drawls behind you, a sharp twinge of hostility lacing his words. “So enjoy the show, Mand’alor, ’nd keep your hands to yourself."

Din recoils at the verbal reprimand and drops his hands speedier than a flash of lightning. You frown and throw a glare over your shoulder. Bastard. Boba quirks a brow and runs his thumb over his lip, the edged sparkle in his dark eyes taunting you into challenging him. You huff and turn a cold shoulder. 

“Sorry, Din,” you purr, scrounging up any and all back up plans to keep you both entertained. “Seems my king isn’t as generous I thought.”

Din withers a bit at the catty remark, keeping his lips sealed tight as Boba growls your name in warning. You don’t pay him any mind. 

You puff up your cheeks and release the air in a steady stream, as your eyes scrape over Din’s armored thigh. Ok—you can work with that. It wouldn’t be breaking any rules…not technically. You step away, paw at your waistband and let the breezy fabric pool over around your ankles, your underwear quickly joining the pile. 

Now bare, you return to Din’s side, his careful inhale distorted into choppy static as you straddle his thigh. He lifts both hands, intending to grab at your waist, but pauses midair. No touching. You lips tilt with a smirk as he clenches his fists and pins his hands to the cool stone instead, an attempt to curb that urge to reach for you. His shoulders knit together when you mold your hand in the gap between his shoulder pauldron and cuirass to give yourself some sort of balance—obviously not used to a soft touch.  

You lower yourself and hiss through clenched teeth. It’s fucking freezing. Goosebumps rush up each limb as the wet warmth of your cunt meets the frigid beskar—the chill much colder than you initially expected. It’s one thing to touch the beskar with an open palm and another thing entirely to feel against such an intimate part of yourself. Din’s visor drops to look between your legs as you give your hips an experimental roll. 

It’s different. You’re used to hardened muscle and fabric, or your own fingers while pleasuring yourself. Your breath hitches as Din’s thigh twitches, the smelted seam of the cuisse bumping against your throbbing clit. 

“Sorry,” Din mumbles, “Didn’t mean—“

“It’s ok,” you smile, rocking your hips to ease into the sensation. “Just surprised me.”

The pace you set is slow, careful not to overwork your nerves as your arousal blooms and metastasizes like simmering coals low in your groin. With each lecherous pull of your cunt against his thigh, the beskar begins to warm to the temperature of your skin—the wetness between your thighs abating the friction and making the surface slippery. A low gasp escapes you once you find the right ridge and angle that just grinds perfectly against your aching clit. Your fingers dig into the cowl of Din’s cloak. 

“Shit—feels good.” Like your voice and little moans jumpstart Din’s ability to move, his large hand drifts to the front of his trousers—an already sizable bulge tenting the dark brown fabric. You squeak as Din's leg jolts for a second time, a burst of dizzying ecstasy wracking up your spine with the choppy movement. 

You suck in another raspy breath as your attention drops to his hand that cups his cock and palms himself through his trousers. You chew your bottom lip and clench your fist gripping his cowl, still gyrating your hips over the beska as Din hooks his thumb into his waistband and pulls them down, slow as molasses. 

Fucking hell—he’s bigger than you initially imagined. Flushed a rosy brown, and half hard already, twitching as Din wraps his fingers around the thick length. Din lifts his head, gauging your interest or disapproval—but kriff—who the fuck would ever be unhappy with that sorta heat he’s packing? You bite your bottom lip, scouring your brain for ideas to convince Boba into letting you taste Din—but your plotting is abruptly cut short. 

Boba sits up and off the throne, his presence looming over your shoulder as he lowers to one knee. You shiver and arch your neck, exposing more of your vulnerable throat as Boba runs the fingertip of his pointer finger down the side of your cheek. “Are you enjoying yourself, princess?”  

You nod, eyes fluttering shut as Boba opens his palm and cradles your jaw. You groan and roll your head back onto your shoulders as Boba snakes one hand around your hip and jolts you forward and down—disrupting the slow rock with a catastrophic interference. Unrefined bolts of plasma shoot up your spine as desire licks up thighs—you need more. 

Boba dips his head and nuzzles into the crook of your neck. You grunt when his teeth sink into your flesh, worrying a bruise into your skin. Boba laves his tongue over the throbbing area, then licks a wet trail up to the shell of your ear, all the while you continue to grind on Din’s thigh. Boba nibbles your earlobe and whispers your name—the sound sweeter than any symphony could ever hope to make. Like smoke over deep water or the surging crackle of energy just before a thunderstorm high up in the mountains. 

“You’re allowed to touch…” he says with a rough chuckle. “Go on.”

Your noise of agreement is quickly muffled as Boba interrupts you with a feverish kiss—all open mouthed and breathless as his tongue curls around yours. Your chest heaves for precious air as Boba retreats just as abruptly as it began. With a satisfied smirk ghosting over his lips, he taps you below the chin and returns to his throne to continue observing.         

Dropping your eyes between Din’s legs, his cock, hardened to its full glory and held casually in his  calloused hand, is truly a sight. Your pulse thrums in your ears as Din rolls his wrist and pumps his length, the velvety skin shifting over what looks like fucking beskar underneath. It strains towards his navel as you watch with wide eyes, mesmerized with the way he touches himself. 

Rolling your bottom lip between your teeth, you touch your hand to his wrist.  Din shudders like your skin is made of sizzling embers that’s broken off the tail end of shooting star—like you’re something too luminous and dangerous to be handled by someone like him. You lift your gaze, smiling into that darkened void of the visor and gracing him with a toothy smile. “Will you let me touch you, Din?”

He nods and utters a breathy yes. 

Fuck yeah.    

Din sucks in a stuttered breath when your hand circles around his thick length. His hips jolt into your palm as you slide your fist to the base then all the way back up. Precum beads over the tip, dribbling down and coating your knuckles with sticky wetness. It eases some of that friction as you fall into an easy rhythm, matching your rocking hips with each pump of his cock. 

Din’s stuttered moans fill the small space between you, dragging you closer to your release that’s suddenly so close. He whines as you abandon his length to chase after your high, your arousal leaking from your center and dripping down the sides of the beskar. Din takes his cock into his hands, fisting himself to your little show of breathy wines and rough jerking of your hips over his thigh. 

Din says your name attached with a broken moan and it’s over—    

Everything seizes up tighter than a jaw clamp as your tumble off that jagged peak of searing, white hot pleasure. It’s raw, sparking off like a blade to metal, burning you from the inside out as you cum. Your cunt clenches around nothing, your thighs shaking as you curl inward as if he punched you in the fucking gut. It feels like he did. Maker—the cool beskar against your throbbing clit is like you’ve been thrown to the mercies of an electrical surge. 

It doesn’t help either that Din is still pumping his length, hips stuttering as he brings himself to his own euphoric high. The air in your lungs seizes when a fragile groan, light and airy passes through the vocoder. Din rocks his hips into his fist, once—twice and then he’s throbbing and cumming into his hand. Hot ropes of his release splatter up his chest plate and parts of your thighs, his helmet nearly knocking into you as he hunches foreword from the intensity of it.     

Too exhausted to keep yourself upright, you smash your cheek against his cuirass, involuntarily twitching as the last little waves of pleasure prickle through the rest of your nerves. You whine as you watch Din move his hand to collect some of your wetness coating his thigh. He brings two fingers stained with your slick to the lip of his helmet, pushes it up with his thumb just far enough to sink the two digits into his mouth. He groans out a quiet fuck, and repeats the action, swiping his fingers through the mess you’ve made and feeding it to himself. Your cunt clenches as you catch a sliver of his pink tongue that twists between his thick fingers.   

He groans and rolls his head back onto his shoulders. “Please—can I taste you? Fuck—I-I need my mouth on you.” 

Stars—the mere idea of it stokes the dwindling flames into a blaze of want. You look up at Boba and puff out your bottom lip. Pouting and begging hardly ever gets you what you want under normal circumstances—Boba Fett is more stubborn than a rancor—but you hope just this once he’ll be lenient.   

Boba holds out his gloved hand—summoning you to his lap without a lick of protest on your end. Din however makes a sound akin to a whimper when you leave him. Boba gathers you in his arms for the second time, the leather a strange sensation as it spiders down your ribcage and around your hips. You can feel his hardness poking into your backside once you settle against him—his chest plate a cold shock to your naked flesh. You shiver and bury your nose into the crook of his neck, poking your tongue out to taste him. Boba’s cock twitches under you as your teeth sink into him with a cheeky nip.   

“Is that what you want, little one?” Boba rumbles in question. His right hand glides lower, grabbing a handful of your thigh and squeezing. You groan and keen out a whine of affirmation. 

Boba cocks his head towards Din. “Well? You’ve got your wish—don’t keep her waiting.” 

Din shakily stands—hesitating with removing his helmet for enough time that you notice the silence that follows. The vocoder crackles as Din sighs. “Do you trust her?”

“With my life.” Boba states it without a second thought. Your heart twists, golden light spilling from  your lungs and staining your insides with devotion and fuzzy affection. You press a soft kiss over Boba’s jaw.   

“Is she…” Din speaks a word in Mando’a you have no hope to decipher—either no direct translation or he’s purposefully left you in the dark. 

Based on the way Boba almost imperceptibly tenses, you guess the latter. Boba responds with a grunt and an unsure dip of the chin. The answer is complicated—that much you can gather…you push it to the back of you brain for now. 

Din nods, inhales, and steels his nerves. Plastering his hands around the shiny helmet, he tugs it off with a slow reveal of dark, patchy facial, plush lips and wavy brown hair that falls around his olive skin. And oh, his eyes—soft chestnut brown eyes that hold such ache within them—lost things, broken bones, wearing his wounds like decoration upon his chest. Forged in the flames of war, risen from the ashes with murder and mercy rolled into one.      

You wish him a kinder future. One that doesn’t end with pain and a blaze of an unchecked wildfire—the same way how all heroes end up as martyrs.  

Though—right now—you can be the beginning of softer things for Din. You smile and invite him closer, a vortex of anxiety peppered with arousal as his eyes flit over your naked body. He sets his helmet to the side with care and drifts to the foot of the throne—fuck, he’s broad. Why hadn’t you noticed that before?   

Your mental berating is severed when cool air meets the wet heat of your cunt as Boba hooks your thighs over his knees, spreading you wide as far as your hips allow. Din’s unfiltered moan at the sigh of you, sends a volt of electricity through every vein. Din lowers himself to one knee, and then the other, shuffling between yours and Boba’s legs. 

“Can I touch?” He asks, soft brows raising in question. 

Boba lazily raises two fingers in a motion of permission. Your chest tightens at the sight of Din’s boyish grin—warm palms settling over the sharp bend of your knees. His thumbs trace soothing circles over the skin and right as Din decides to swoop down, Boba catches him by the hair atop his head and yanks. Din grunts—the long, arched line of his neck a tempting sight as he swallows. “No marks.” Din’s jaw clenches, but nonetheless, he agrees to Boba’s command. 

Boba hums in satisfaction and untangles his fingers from the mess of Din’s soft curls. Din’s brows pinch together for half a tick but smooth out in the next breath. No use being irritated—especially right now.   

As directed, Din leaves not a scratch. Instead he scrapes the blunt edges of his teeth along the insides of your thighs, threatening to catch soft flesh between them—but he knows better than to act on the urge. He laves his warm tongue over each freckle or blemish he finds, leaving no patch of skin undiscovered as licks a steady trail to his prize. Din mouths a warm kiss over the crease of your thigh, and smooths his calloused hands over your hips, settling for a moment to trace little circles with his thumbs onto the soft protrusion of bone there. Seemingly satisfied, he then shifts them closer to your aching cunt. His hot breath fans over your cunt as he uses his thumbs to glide through your folds, almost curious with his exploration. He makes a little hum of appreciation low in his throat when the pads of his thumbs part your soaking folds.    

You whimper and bury your face into the crook of Boba’s neck, his warm palms a much needed comfort as they tickle down your ribcage, then sweep back up to cup your tits. You cry and arch— Din’s tongue is scalding—like liquid velvet as he dips the tip of his tongue from the base of your cunt all the way up to your clit. Din sucks on the little bundle of nerves, rolling his tongue until you’re crying out, molten pleasure zipping through your abdomen. He grunts as your fingers tangle into his hair—kriff. 

Fuck, you need more.   

Arching into his mouth, all thoughts are transfigured and molded into a vicious loop—beginning with those adoring brown eyes, the color of freshly tilled earth and the warmth of sunlight over dappled aspen leaves in the balmy summer afternoons. It ends with soft lips—rose petal pink with devotion crystallizing in his mouth like sugar—madness and uncertainty and lovesick desire is all that he is and you’re not sure if you’ll come out of this unscathed.    

He sinks two deliciously thick fingers into your clenching hole and curls them, only to retract them a moment later to shovel more of your wetness onto his tongue—as if simply using his mouth wasn’t enough for him. Like he needs to savor every drop of your arousal like the golden ambrosia the gods feast upon in their palaces of cloud and endless twilight. 

That frenzied desperation lingers on the edges of his movements like he’s afraid you’ll fade away like a hand through fog—but you’re going nowhere. You’d stay here, suspended in time forever if the choice were up to you. 

You whine and arch off Boba’s chest plate as Din strokes and curls his fingertips, plucking little gasps and moans from you easier than breathing. He zeros in on that little spot that makes your leg go all jittery and forces out high pitched mewls that echo through the throne room. You’re careening towards another high, the sensitivity of your last orgasm amping up the influx of pleasure. 

“Stars—Din. Close—I’m so close,” you gasp, pulling his hair tight enough that you know it must sting—at least a little bit. He makes no sign that it does, just groans and buries his tongue into your dripping hole, licking alongside his fingers that shovel more of your wetness into his mouth. 

Your release zips through your body like a flash flood—quick and fatal that leaves you gasping for air and struggling not to let your head dip below the waves. Your high seeps into each limb until they feel heavier than lead. Fuck—it’s so hard to work through the muddled thought and remember where exactly you are. You groan and toss your head back as Din keeps going.    

“Another one—let me—“ He moans, opening his mouth as wide as it’ll go so he can devour more of you. You can feel the mixture of saliva and your own arousal dripping down your cunt and over your thighs, some of it pooling on the throne or onto the floor. Your thighs shake as Din pushes you towards another high.        

You squeak as Boba’s palm sweeps up your sternum, locking his fingers around your throat in a loose hold. The tip of his nose nuzzles into your cheek—silently demanding a well earned kiss as his hips rock into your ass, grinding his cock for the barest scrap of friction. You moan into his mouth as Din doubles his efforts, raw and bordering that serrated edge of overstimulation and ecstasy.  

Goosebumps rush over your arm as Boba places his lips right beside the shell of your ear. You feel the sticky heat of his breath fan over your throat and shoulder, and the way his lips skim your ear when they move to form the syllables of his words. “Such a filthy princess…”

You clench around Din’s fingers and moan a half garbled, “Boba—“ 

His weathered palm encompasses the entirety of your breast, rolling your pebbled nipple between his forefinger and thumb. “If only you could see yourself…dripping all over my throne and another man’s tongue.” Boba clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Depraved creature—cum for your rightful king.” 

Wildfire chars your insides as it begins in your core and sweeps through your body. Tears prick the corner of your eyes as you buck and squirm in their arms—no mercy as the prickly waves of your orgasm make you hypersensitive to each touch. Even the hold on your hip, while innocent in nature, is blistering as if you suffered from a fever. You shudder as a salty tear rolls down your cheek. Boba catches it with his tongue as your ears pick up Din’s raspy praise—thanking you while spattering reverent kisses up your thighs. 

Struggling to keep your eyes open, you do spot the apparent wetness soaking through the front of Din’s trousers. Fuck—he—he came again while eating you out. You whimper and rest the back of your head over Boba’s shoulder.  

Your belly flinches under his scratchy facial hair as Din travels up, seizing and worshiping every inch he’s freely given before intercepted. He catches your nipple between your teeth, tugs a bit then moves to the other, lavishing equal attention with adoring lips and sweet whispers. When he reaches your collarbone, you’re boxed in against his chest plate and Boba’s. A blush blooms under your cheeks hotter than stare fire as Din gingerly sucks your earlobe into his mouth and breathes out a muted moan of your name—committing the very essence of you to his memory for the rest of his days. 

Your heart squeezes tight like a clenched fist when he mumbles another thank you. Plucking up a smidge of courage, he risks planting a kiss right on the corner of your mouth. You blink—despite the sweetness of the gesture you wince as Boba snarls a curt phrase in Mando’a. Din peels himself away with a minuscule frown and slinks away.          

Yet before you have the chance to remedy the situation of wounded pride and territorial jealousy—Boba tightens his hold on your hips and flips you both, so that now your back is smashed against the seat of the throne, a bit crumpled and sorta folded in half. Your hips hang off the edge as Boba holds the majority of your weight, grinding his clothed cock between the apex of your thighs. 

“Don’t forget, princess—” Boba barks, slithering a hand up the column of your throat. You breath hitches as he lightly presses his palm down. “—what belongs to me.”

Reaching between you, he slides his gloved fingers through your slick folds and sinks two of them inside of your clenching center. You jolt as his thumb scrubs over your clit, still sensitive and edging towards too much. 

“You want me to fuck you here?” He asks, shifting his hold to grip your jaw instead—the rounds of his fingertips digging firmly into the flesh and bone. “Say it.”      

You gasp and scrabble weakly at Boba’s shoulders as he grinds the heel of his palm into your clit. “Please, Boba! Please fuck me—I need it.” 

Boba folds over you, his breath fanning hot and hungry against your cheek. He devours your mouth with a discordant edge, like he’s trying to prove to the entire galaxy you are unmistakably his despite the fact you’re already wound so tightly around his fingers. Boba wrenches himself free and tears at his robe and trousers to free his thick length, leaking and flushed a rosy brown at the tip. He doesn’t keep either of you waiting as he removes his fingers and replaces them with something bigger.       

You both groan as he lines himself up with your entrance and sinks into you, a delicious stretch that leaves you shivering beneath him. “Fuck—so wet for me.”

The first roll of his hips makes an obscene noise that showers shame down your throat, but it’s quickly kicked to the back of your brain as he slams back into your cunt—obliterating all thoughts save for him. Boba’s lip curls over his teeth as he claws at your thighs and yanks them over his shoulder, crushing you even further between the throne and the weight of his body. Each stroke is a liquid fire, tearing you apart at the seems while at the same time stitching you back together and leaving your body begging for more. Like this, it’s as if he’s reaching the deepest part of you, pounding into your cunt and hitting every nerve with deadly precision. Your legs prickle with the stretch as you squirm beneath him, stuck with the brunt of rough thrusts and violent stamina with nowhere to go.   

“Bein’ such a good girl for me." He hums into the juncture of where your neck meets your shoulders. He sucks a mark there and tangles a hand in the hair at the nape of you neck, forcing you into a steeper arch. “Maker, you look so fuckin’ pretty stretched around my cock.”

Your walls clench tight around him as you dig your nails into the fabric of his cowl. You voice cracks with airy moans—attempting to work through the haze of lust and respond. All that tumbles from your lips is a pathetic whine of his name—so close to that precipice again.    

The friction of each thrust scraping against your clit, the way he fills you and the possessive hand curled over your throat. You wiggle an arm between your bodies and rub the little bundle of nerves in a frenzied half-circle. You wheeze as Boba increases the pressure over your throat. 

“Tell me who you belong to,” he demands as devastating ripples begin to spark through your core, a live wire an inch away from a puddle of water. “Tell me—“

“You! It’s you—“ You sob, desperate for another release only he can give. “I’m yours—“

Boba snickers and gives your throat another squeeze. “Cum on my cock.” 

There we go. 

You seize and cry out, violent shivers forcing your back to arch high off the throne and into his chest plate. It tears through your being, quick and deadly through your core, spreading to every nerve and shredding through it with molten pleasure. Boba’s voice is a gravelly scrape that vibrates next to your ear, sprinting towards his own deserved euphoria. Your climax still boiling through your blood, is dragged out as Boba continues thrusting—an endless echo that leaves you incredibly oversensitive sore. For the next few moments, his thrusts are too sharp, the grip he has on you too abrasive—but then he’s cumming too. A couple more rough jabs and then he’s seating himself deep inside your cunt, his warm release coating your insides with thick ropes. 

You’re panting breaths fill the air between you, settling like fresh snow over a silent wood. By the time Boba pulls out, leaving behind a sticky trail of his cum and your arousal over the throne, you’re toeing the line of hazy unconsciousness. 

“Such a good girl,” Boba praises, threading fingers through hair and tracing the lines of your face. The the soft drone of his voice mixed with Din’s gentle baritone, murmuring something you don’t catch, casts a dreamy haze over your reality. You’re not afraid that this could back fire and blow up in your face—to move inches from two serrated blades, each seeking for a taste of blood and flesh, is always a risk. But yet, the calloused hands and the sweetness of brown eyes reach through chaos and silence to offer you salvation. You take it with a smile. 

You should invite Din over more often…you think, as you slip into content sleep. 

taglist: @goldafterglow @djxrxn @velvetmel0n @steeeeeeeviebb   @stargazingcarol @ohiobluetip @anxiety-riddled-mando @absurdthirst @thesoftdumbass @huliabitch @max--phillips @silverfish-kingdom @krissology @teaofpeaches @pettyprocrastination @nelba @beskars @jango-fettish @corrupt-fvcker @maybege @auty-ren @legally-a-bastard @bigdickdindjarin @thesparkleslugs @cryptid-candy @mandowhorian @pascaliprincess @mitchi-c @vesperstalksclones @cmakars @cptnbvcks @whewchiles @leias-left-hair-bun @astrochellie @angryares @rise-my-angel @stardust-galaxies @phoenixhalliwell @samhollandssweaters @blue-writes-a03 @hdlynnslibrary @darthadeline @calamity-queen @luxurybeskar @justanotherblonde23 @book-hoardingdragon @fahrenheit-not @princessxkenobi @skdubbs @ben-is-a-hoe @3strogen @chasingdreamer @weebblossom @bobaandthefetts​

sorry if I missed you AH!!!!

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Fox Hybrid Tommy

Hello, Iv come to talk about why I think fandom is sleeping on Tommy being a fox hybrid and in this essay- To be honest I was gonna leave it there but then I realized i have ALOT of thoughts, valid points, and an itch to info dump so here it is!

Now im really fond of most hybrid Tommy takes and while Avian Tommy is number one in my heart, I genuinely believe Fox Hybrid Tommy should be MUCH more popular then it is right now and im like 90% sure most of the reason its not is that people tend to think its “Fundy’s Thing” (despite the fact they can both be fox hybrids) and becuase of how fast and hard the RaccoonInnit things was picked up when he was in Techno’s house.

(Note, I dont hate Raccoon hybrid Tommy, I just think Fox hybrid Tommy works better for the most part and I'm baffled I dont see more of Fox hybrid Tommy around.)

Overall I think Tommy has the classic tells for being a fox affiliated character, both in more realistic Fox Behaviors and ones commonly associated with the character of a fox in stories and myths;

Tommy a trickster, loving pranks and messing around and causing chaos, as well as a well-known scammer, traits often associated with Foxes.  

Tommy literally lives in a burrow, and builds tunnels to connect him to places! Something foxes do.   

Tommy is a scavenger, he steals when he needs it or just even when he wants to and doesn't often get/hunt things down himself unless he has to.   

He's surprisingly crafty af, specially when it comes to problems he cant just like, fight his way out of he’s gotten pretty creative at figuring things out.   

While foxes are more solidary, they're very social with their families and often stick near by while being territorial over their family and territory (tho they still hunt for themselves), and also foxes raised around others by humans (tamed, not domesticated) are more social in general! (Did you know tamed foxes act a lot like dogs?)  

Foxes start to fight for dominance as kits! They do, in fact, have a social hierarchy and they can get very brutal with it, you cant tell me this doesn't scream Tommy posturing and trying to assert dominance.   

Foxes are very high energy, and so is Tommy for the most part. They're also known for being mostly sweet natured but vicious when called for! (they’re wild animals no matter how hard someone tries to tame them, tame Tommy)  

This strays a bit more into personal hc territory but iv always seen Tommy as a more speed and agility based fighter even tho he insists he's a tank, and foxes are SPEEDY LITTLE FUCKERS, some can run up to 42 mph!!!  

Tommy is also lanky and thin like a fox, where as Raccoons are very much not normally LOL  

And they're loud motherfuckers as well. They have over 40 calls on average, and most are loud and annoying and you cant tell me Tommy wouldn't just fucking scream like he was dying for fun

There's more I could argue but these are the main and most strong points for it, and yes, some of these can also be associated or also matched with raccoons but they have other traits that I dont think fit Tommy that well as a fox does. 

TLDR: I just think the fox fits Tommy better overall.

[starlight-writes-stuff]

Can I request how the feral boys would ask you/ what they would do for your first time sleeping over as their girlfriend? That sounds weird but I hope you know what I mean lol. I love your writing by the way!

hi friend , and thank u ! i appreciate it <3 this is a super cute idea and i had a lot of fun writing it ,,,,, im so soft for them i can't . xoxoxoxoxo , starlight

AYO LOOK AT THESE : the smallest bit of smut but overall fluff ! soft feral boys content , come get yall juice

reblogs are always appreciated !!! <3

dream

wouldn’t be planned tbh , you’d been at his place all day and you’re both too tired to drive

you’d start to call an uber and clay would turn your phone over

“you could… stay here, if you want?”

it was a no brainer

of course you’d stay with him

clay would be so excited , smiling through his sleepy haze

he’d finally get up from his computer just to shower you with kisses all over your face

he’d tackle you back onto his bed , his soft , silly kisses turning into lingering, hard kisses

all teeth and tongue and his hands all over you

he’d get one of his legs between yours, shuddering at the way you’d whine into his mouth

his hands would make their way down to your hips

he’d grind your hips down on him , your sleepiness only making you more sensitive

you bet your ass that he’d make you cum just from grinding on his thigh

he lives in a constant state of horny™ even when he’s tired

clay would be so cocky at how he’d made you finish , doing virtually nothing

but he would go so soft at the way you were exhausted after that , yawning and rubbing your eyes

‘baby’ , ‘love’ , ‘pretty girl’

so affectionate 

you could’ve fallen asleep just like that but clay makes you get up and change

“baby , you don't want to sleep in your clothes” 

“sleep in mine instead”

you would just grumble back at him until he would physically lift you out of bed

clay would help you out of your clothes 

he’d put you in his sweats and a giant dream hoodie

just incase sap walked in for some reason

doesn't want him seeing any of the goods™

he’d carry you to the bathroom and find an extra toothbrush

clay would absolutely try to talk to you while brushing his teeth and the two of you would laugh s o hard at each other trying to talk with mouths full of toothpaste

again , he would pick you up and carry you back to his bed , shutting the door behind the two of you

“don't you want to say goodnight to sap?” “no :)”

the two of you would fall onto his bed and be asleep within 10 minutes , completely tangled in each other

he talks in his sleep

but you snore

so its even

☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁

george

soft george my beloved

he’d probably plan your guys first ‘sleepover’

he would want to make it special , and definitely do something memorable

george would bring it up to you like a week before

he’d practically invite you like it was a birthday party :,)

i can't

he’d make reservations for a nice dinner before and get all dressed up

george would pick you up and hold your hand on the console

he’d open all the doors for you 

he'd pull out your c h a i r

yall would definitely be cracking jokes all throughout dinner in the middle of this fancy restaurant

george would ABSOLUTELY knock his silverware off the table at some point

you would have to fight to not spit your drink out , laughing so hard

he’d skip on desert at the restaurant and take you to dairy queen or something

it would be the two of you in your fancy attire , sitting outside some tiny ice cream parlor

looking at eachother like you were the only two people on earth

yall are in L O V E 

once you two got home george would carry your overnight bag in 

he would change immediately 

bc he h8’s fancy clothes 

but wanted to dress up for you 

after you guys changed into pajamas , you’d stay up talking for hours

he’d tell you stories of him and all the feral boys

you’d tell him stupid things you did as a kid

the two of you would want to make the most of the extended time you had together and stay up until like 2 in the morning

george’s voice would get all low and raspy from talking for so long

you’d fall asleep on the couch together when you physically couldn’t hold your eyes open anymore

george would wake up when the sun started shining through the blinds

he would carry you up to his bed 

then promptly fall back asleep with you in his arms

☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁

sapnap 

snapmap my love .

this man doesn’t plan shi t

it would be very spur of the moment , the two of you laughing at some joke that he made when he’d grab your hand suddenly v serious

“will you sleep with me tonight?”

he’d look so earnest while asking that and you would BURST into laughter

it would take nick a hot sec to realise what he’d said and once he did . he would simply . disintegrate .

he would be so dramatic about it too

“i was trying to be romantic ! stop laughing at me !”

and you would just sit there , laughing so hard that you couldn’t produce noise anymore , just silent wheezes

you would start to cry and nick would pOUT

you would just nod , literally unable to produce words

but sap would brighten up at that

“so you’ll stay the night?”

once you got control of yourself , the two of you continued on doing what you were doing

it was like a normal day other than the fact that it ,,,, wouldn’t end

you two watched movies and played minecraft all day , being lazy together

you’d doordash dinner or order pizza or something so you didn’t have to leave the house

he’d have to stream and you would just chill , eating pizza in bed

once it became apparent that the stream was gonna last longer than planned , you would quietly come up behind him and drop a kiss on his cheek

he’d grin at you but be confused ???

you’d text him so your voice wouldn’t pop up on stream

‘gonna take a shower / keep myself busy’

he’d text back a single ‘👍🏼’

sapnap texts like a dad and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

you’d shower and get dressed , then wander down to the kitchen trying to find something to do

scavenger hunt™ for cookie ingredients

you’d bake his favorite and surprise him with a warm cookie im s o f t

the SMILE that would cross his face my god

he would feel so loved

he’d mute stream to thank you, putting his hands around your waist and burying his face into your stomach

you k n o w he’d find some way to end stream early after that , wanting to be with you

the two of you would finish off all the cookies , watching scary movies together

he’d hold you when you jump at all the spooky shit

you’d do the same for him bc sap is baby

chat . i'm kinda scared . lowkey .

you were both half asleep by the time you made your way back up to his room

you’d be lights out the minute your head hit the pillows 

and he’d be big spoon

☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁

karl

karl would probably ask you that day , texting you before you’d even come over to ask if you would stay the night

you two had technically slept over before , but never at karl’s place (usually pulling all nighters with the feral boys on stream or with the beast crew)

you can not tell me . that karl . would not build a fort . with you .

and he would 100% go all out with it

he’d get lights to string up on the inside (the twinkle ones for sure)

he would get a fuckton of pillows and the softest blankets he can find and pile them in

karl would essentially make a nest for the two of you

you’d spend the first hour alone sharing soft kisses and cuddling so close that you weren't sure where you ended and karl began

he’d hold you , letting you lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat

you’d talk about everything and nothing at all , just wanting to hear each other’s voices

until someone’s stomach growled

he’d laugh until he couldn't breathe 

you had tears rolling down your face , your stomach hurting from the giggles 

he’d either take you to get food before or doordash your favorite

because neither of you can cook blESS

you’d pick out cute , matching pajamas for your first official night together

but

he’d end up giving you his clothes to sleep in 

because he likes you wearing his stuff 

and it's more comfortable than your fancy pajamas

he’d cover his eyes and face a blanket/wall while you were changing

the only time either of you would leave the fort would be for more snacks or to go to the bathroom

karl would bring his laptop in and turn in a movie as you two were settling in for the night 

(some super dumb kids movie) 

(my brain immediately went to the lorax) 

(i’ll see myself out)

and he’d stay awake until you fell asleep, your face buried into his t-shirt

it made his heart so full that you felt safe enough to fall asleep with him

he’d play with your hair and trace over your features as soft as possible

because you're just so beautiful when you’re asleep ??

karl murmurs how much he loves you , everything that he loves about you while he knows you can't hear it

he’d drift off with you still in his arms, his lips pressed to the top of your head in a sweet, gentle kiss

and the two of you would stay like that the entire night , keeping each other warm

im so soft for him

can u tell

karl jacobs my love

☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁

quackity

listen

everyone writes big q as a stupid dumb dummy

and while he can be that at some times

this man would be so fucking thoughtful ??? when it came to his girl ?????

you literally can't tell me otherwise .

much like gogy he would plan something special

but like

he can COOK yall

he’d make you a nice ass dinner

and set up a picnic in the backyard 

he’d light candles and make it all fancy

literally it would be a scene out of a movie

once you finished eating dinner the two of you would watch the sunset

he’d play guitar and sING FOR YOU

you’d stay outside soaking in the heat even after the sun had gone down

stargazing for as long as you could

alex would put his arm around you and have you lay on his chest

you’d listen to his heartbeat while you pointed out the big dipper

he’d make up his own constellations aljidhkuvgfhadj

you two would only go inside because you were being eaten alive by mosquitos

one of you would play music off your phone and yall would slow dance in the kitchen

he would repeatedly tell you how much he loved you , pressing tender kisses to your neck , your jaw

until a fucking ad would play

and alex would just lose his shit

he would laugh so hard he’d ipad kid cough

then you would simply ascend

the two of you would be laying on the kitchen floor absolutely D Y I N G of laughter

you’d stay there for a while , trying to recover

by the time you did , your ribs were sore from all the giggles

alex would pick you up and throw you over his shoulder , walking you up to bed

he’d suplex you onto the mattress

the two of you are children around each other tbh

that would lead to a wrestling match

until you’d found your way onto his lap , pinning him by his wrists

w h e w

the way that man would kiss you after that ? bye im gone

lets just say by the time he was finished you would both be exhausted

he’d tell you how pretty you were , how good you did

the two of you would fall asleep with tangled limbs , half kissing

[combat-wombatus]

YEAHHH YOU KNOW IM HERE!!! BC I LOVE YOU COCO!!

okayy so for my request 👉🏽👈🏽

can i get bakugo x f!reader and prompts: 14. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” + 24. “Would you mind if I kissed you?”

okay i love you!! 🥺🥺 thank you for doing this!

14: “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” 24: “Would you mind if I kissed you?” Character: Bakugou

ok so like...i may or may not have gone slightly overboard and turned this into a whole fic-

it’s like 2.2k words lakdjfhasjkdh enjoy-

thank u for requesting aves 🥺

“What? A party? I’m not fucking going.” Bakugou snarled. “Staying up past midnight is overrated. I need my sleep.”

“But Bakubro,” Kaminari whined. “We’re hosting! Mina planned it all, and she spent a lot of time doing it! You should at least go. You don’t have to stay up that late.”

“Tch. As if I care.” Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets and slumped forward even more. “Pinky can waste all the time she fucking wants to. I’m not going.”

“It’s our last year at UA! Come on,” Kirishima joined in. “You can leave early if you want to! It’ll be mostly in the dorms anyways. Mina did plan a scavenger hunt though, in Gym Gamma. She says that she planted “mementos” of our school experience. Isn’t that fun?”

“Fun my ass. It’s stupid, is what it is.” He glared at Kirishima. “Should’ve visited my parents. Even the old hag isn’t as loud as all of you extras in the dorms.”

“You say that like you didn’t blast a hole in the wall just last week,” Kaminari pointed out.

Kirishima winced. “Denki-”

“WELL WHOSE FUCKING IDEA WAS IT TO PRETEND THAT THEY WERE FUCKING KIDNAPPED?!?” Bakugou waved a fist wildly in Kaminari’s face.

“Fair point, fair point. You should’ve seen the look on your face though! (Y/N) thought you’d murder her!” Kaminari cackled.

“I’D NEVER FUCKING MURDER HER! ARE YOU INSANE??” Bakugou’s palms started crackling.

“Hey, chill bro, we know that.” Kirishima tried to calm him down.

Kaminari was not so lucky. “Why? You joke about murdering us all the time. What’s so different about her?”

Bakugou turned, a quick retort on the tip of his tongue, before he realized that Kaminari was, actually, right for once.

“She’s…she’s…” He stuttered.

Kaminari let out a hoot of laughter. “I knew it!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bakugou’s face turned beet red. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Suit yourself. We know the truth.” Kaminari patted Bakugou’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, Bakubro! (Y/L/N)-chan is going to be at the party too! Why don’t you confess to her there? That would be fun! And then Mina will forgive you for leaving early too!”

Bakugou’s left eye twitched. “There’s nothing to confess, Shitty Hair. And I don’t give a rat’s ass what Mina thinks.”

Kirishima and Kaminari looked at each other, then turned back to Bakugou.

“Sure,” Kirishima smirked. “Nothing at all.”

“Hey! (Y/N)!” Mina ran up to you. “You’re coming to the party, right?”

You turned to face her. “Sure am! Who isn’t? It’s in the dorms anyways so there’s not much of a point in not coming, right?”

Mina sighed. “Kiri and Kami are having a hard time convincing Bakugou to come. Something about his sleep schedule?”

You were a little disappointed, but it was to be expected. Bakugou didn’t participate much in team-building activities anyways. “Can’t relate. My sleep schedule has been fucked to high heaven.”

“Right? What a crappy excuse.” Mina rolled her eyes. “Anyways, Sero’s waiting for me in the gym to help set the scavenger hunt up. See ya later, yeah?”

“Sure! Do you want more help? I can help you guys set things up if you’d like,” you asked.

Mina leaned forward, smiling mischievously. “Nope! It’s all good! And besides, I want you to participate in the game, so you can’t help!”

You smiled. “Ah, okay. Well, I’ll see you later then!”

“See ya!” Mina winked and gave you a little wave.

“So, the rules of the game are simple: whichever team finds and touches our very own 3-A New Year’s Ball, together, wins!” Mina exclaimed from her place on the couch.

“What kind of shitty game is this?” Bakugou growled, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Mina pouted. “Hey! Sero and I spent a lot of time making this happen!”

“Yeah! They were amazing!” Ochaco jumped up too. “Stop being ungrateful!”

“Fine, whatever.” Bakugou crossed his arms. “Get on with it already. We don’t have all night.”

“Actually, we do! Not everyone here has the sleeping schedule of an old man,” Kaminari piped in.

“Shut up, Dunce Face. Nobody asked.” Bakugou scowled.

“Hey! Back to the regular program. You get to choose your own partners! Isn’t that exciting?” Mina waved her piece of paper around wildly. “Now get to it! You have three minutes!”

You looked around the room. You would’ve asked Mina, but she and Sero weren’t participating since they were the ones who hid it. They had also apparently hidden clues all over Gym Gamma as to where the location of the ball was.

“Ocha-” Oops. She’d already teamed up with Iida.

“Oi, Shitty Hair, come over here!” Bakugou yelled across the room. You sighed. Of course.

“Sorry Bakubro, I already have a partner…” Kirishima said rather sheepishly.

“…you WHAT?”

“Yeah…Momo here didn’t have a partner yet and…well…Mineta was hot on her trail,” Kirishima tried to explain as Momo breathed a sigh of relief.

“Shuckers!” Mineta faceplanted onto the couch. “I never get what I want”

“Hmph. Karma’s a bitch.” Jiro smirked from her position next to Kaminari.

“Dunce Face, you got a partner too?” Bakugou sighed, exasperated.

“Right next to me!” Kaminari pointed to Jiro with his thumb. You smiled in satisfaction. They were honestly adorable.

You turned to the rest of the room. Hagakure had already snagged Ojiro, Midoriya had, unsurprisingly, paired with Todoroki. Shoji and…Tsu? Koda had paired up with Sato, and…you snickered a little at the last pairing. Tokoyami had been bombarded with Aoyama’s relentless chatter. Which left…you and Bakugou.

Huh. That was weird. You swore that not everyone had a partner just a minute ago. And it was awfully strange that Tokoyami would choose to pair with Aoyama instead of you or even Bakugou, but…you supposed that he didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“So. (Y/N).” Bakugou cleared his throat. “Partners?”

“Uh…yeah,” you replied, fidgeting slightly with your hands.

“Ok! Everyone is paired up and ready to go?” Mina was practically bouncing.

“Yeah!” Most everyone chimed in unison.

“Let’s do it then! Sero, come on! Lead the way!” She jumped down from her place on the kitchen counter.

“What the fuck? Pinky and Tape Arms hung that thing all the way up there?” Bakugou swore.

“You can use your quirk to get up there though, right?” You looked at him, brows furrowed.

“Duh. But what about you?” He looked you up and down. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t fly.”

“Easy! I’ll just ride on your back!” You chirped. “Unless you can’t carry me?”

“Tch. As if. Get on.” He squatted down, letting you scamper onto his back. “Ready?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

You leaned into the crook of his neck, breath lightly fanning his face. “Ready,” you confirmed.

Cackling gleefully, Bakugou shot up into the sky, palms ablaze.

And as quickly as he flew, he was dropping to the ground even quicker.

“DAMMIT!” He glared daggers at the ice wall that had appeared over your heads. “Fucking Deku! And that IcyHot bastard!”

Spiraling, he tried his best to save the two of you from a hard impact on the ground, but he was only successful in twirling around in the air like a ballerina.

“Shit!” He tried to flip upside down in order to land on his feet, but the momentum was against him.

With an “oof”, the two of you landed in a pile on the (luckily) snow-covered ground.

“You alright there, idiot?” Bakugou said gruffly.

You groaned. You weren’t sure how, but you definitely sprained something with the way you landed. Ankle? Wrist? Perhaps both?

“Hey. Hey!” Bakugou climbed over the snowdrift to reach you. “Get up! The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Calm down, Bakugou!” You pushed his hand away. “It’s just a sprain,” you pointed to your ankle.

“Nothing else?” He seemed intent on picking you up, so you let him.

“Nope, everything’s fine,” you assured him.

“Sorry about that!” Midoriya called out from atop his perch on Todoroki’s newly-formed glacier. “We got a little carried away!”

Bakugou stilled. You winced. Midoriya was in for a rough time.

“Deku…” He ground out. “What the FUCK do you think you and IcyHot are doing?”

“I-I’m sorry! We didn’t mean to knock you down from the air!” Midoriya started gesturing nervously. “I-I swear it was an a-accident!”

Todoroki sighed. “It was an accident. Let it go, Bakugou. And (Y/N), we are very sorry for having injured you. Would you like for us to accompany you to Recovery Girl? The game is over now.”

“The fuck did you say, IcyHot? No fucking way. I’m taking her.” He stomped towards Recovery Girl’s office, you firmly nestled in his arms.

“Think we succeeded?” Todoroki turned to Midoriya. “They seem to be getting along fine.”

“I…I’m not sure. It’s not great that (Y/L/N)-chan had to get injured for this to work, but…Recovery Girl will fix her up fine and Kacchan might finally realize that he has feelings for her…”

“Hey guys! Great job!” Sero dangled Mina from a tree branch overhead. “Look at them go!”

“It’s all according to plan…” Mina clapped her hands together. “Now, we just have to wait for the clock to chime twelve…”

“Fucking assholes.” Bakugou hadn’t stopped muttering underneath his breath since you’d left.

You giggled. He was so angry over such a small thing. It wasn’t like the fall was intentional; you’d both just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Bakugou stopped walking and stared at you. “What?” He frowned at you. “Why are you laughing? Did you knock your fucking head on the way down too?”

You started full-on laughing this time. “No, Bakugou. It’s just…you’re so cute when you’re mad,” you tried to explain. “Your eyebrows scrunch up and you purse your lips and…”

By this point, Bakugou was a blushing mess. No one had ever called him “cute” when he was angry before.

After a while, he broke the silence. “So…I don’t scare you?”

You laid your head on his chest. “Not at all.”

“Tch. You should be scared of me, dumbass.” He turned your body so that you were facing him, shielding his tomato-hued face from your gaze.

“And why should I be?”

“Because…because…I’m Bakugou Katsuki, dammit!” He clenched his fists, bunching up your parka.

Snickering, you decided to tease him. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. I thought you were Midoriya Izuku for a second.”

“You WHAT?!?”

The two of you bantered playfully all the way to Recovery Girl’s office. She took one look at you and frowned.

“Tsk. I thought there wasn’t training today?” She rifled around for an ice pack.

“There wasn’t. We played a game and I just sprained my ankle.” You explained sheepishly. “And possibly my wrist.”

Recovery Girl tapped her cane on your knee and sighed heavily. “You guys don’t know how to take care of yourselves! Playing a game and getting injured?” She rubbed her temples. “The hospitals are going to have a field day with the lot of you once you become pros.”

“Sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful next time.” You held in a wince as she prodded your ankle.

“Minor sprains. I’m going to wrap those and give you some gummies. Take this ice pack with you when you go. Ice for 10, leave for 20, and repeat for 3 hours. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am!” You held out your wrist for her to bind.

“And don’t you go do anything else dangerous now, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear!” You hopped nimbly off the table, landing on one leg, and was promptly scooped up again by Bakugou.

“Hey! Let me down! I can walk!” You protested against his arms.

Bakugou turned to Recovery Girl. “Look at her. You really want her to walk?”

“As a matter of fact, I do not. Stay still, young lady, and let him carry you,” she admonished.

You slumped in defeat, and Bakugou carried you out of the room.

“Ahh…young love,” Recovery Girl stared wistfully at your fading silhouettes. “I remember…”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!!”

The class was situated in the common room, spread out over the numerous couches and munching on fresh cookies (courtesy of Momo and Sato).

And as the clock chimed 12, you looked to Bakugou, sitting right next to you.

“Can…can I…” You started nervously, fingers fidgeting with your ice pack.

“What? Spit it out,” Bakugou stared at you.

“Canikissyou?” You blurted out as fast as your tongue would let you.

He smirked. “What was that? I couldn’t understand you.”

You sighed. “Would…would you mind if I kissed you?”

Bakugou’s lips pulled into a wolfish grin. “All you had to do was ask, dumbass.”

Epilogue

“Do you think they caught on?” Mina whispered excitedly to Sero. “I wasn’t sure if they saw me leading Todoroki and Midoriya to the ball.”

“Nah, I think we’re fine. Besides, it’s not like he can complain. He got a girlfriend thanks to us, right?” Sero chuckled.

“Ok…if you say so…”

Suddenly, they heard a growl coming from the doorway to their left.

“Shit.”

“Run!!”

“I won’t let you bastards get away with this!!”

Coco’s New Year Celebration 20-21

Masterlist

[sunbedo]

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY GRAVITY FALLS!!

It's taken me a while but I've slowly realized, with it falling back into a bit of spotlight, that Gravity Falls is truely one of, if not, the best cartoon I've ever watched. I love toh and amphibia and put them on this list also.

Gravity falls just has this great charm and humor that i wish i could save, and maybe become at some point. I've been watching video essays about it, (and stayed up till 4 in the morning reading fics in the found family tag but that's besides the point) and it truely has such an awe inspiring sense of mystery and wonder, darker themes and real fleshed out characters, while still being so fun and silly to anyone who sees it.

Gravity Falls was ahead of it's time. I mean, what Alex Hirsh came up with shows how someone with a creative mind can create something amazing. The ciphers in end screens, the opening, and even little codes in episodes? It got people invested in the mystery, being apart of putting pieces together, talking about what could happen next. Don't even get me started on the scavenger hunt after the show ended.

Actually, no, i will get started on that. Alex Hirsch cares and is dedicated to this show so much. He stuck with it through Disney's bullshit censorship, created stuff for fans to find, he put together that whole across country scavenger hunt for god's sake!

This is getting long (and i just realized im info dumping, lmao) but if anything, there is one message I want to conclude with. We could have had alot more good things, and obviously, representation, if Disney's executives minded their fucking business. I think this goes for alot of things as well. Like I stay awake at night thinking about what we could've had in the owl house without Disney.

What I'm saying is, creative minds are being stomped on because their shows either don't pander to children, aren't dragged out outrageously long for profit, or have the audacity to show one bit of representation that makes a few parents mad.

But with everything, I'm so glad that Gravity Falls played out the way it did. I love the show, and it's such a master piece that, if one day i have kids, i will be sure to watch it with them. Heck, I'm getting excited just thinking about it. Rant over, thank you.

[notable-phlyarologist]

hi more miraculous ladybug thoughts, this time about chloe and marinette and why i really like that ship (though generally my favorite ml ship is big poly mess)

you ever think about how similar cloe and marinette really are? the pettiness, the jealousy, the obsessiveness, the manipulation-- marinette doesnt manipulate people as often as chloe and she doesnt go after her parents but gosh she can be really manipulative at times. see: basically any episode she gets jealous of adrien. ignoring chloe's actually good advice about vanisher, the way she treated kagami on the scavenger hunt thing, etc etc. like, in a sense, i can kind of understand how it was so easy for lila to get the class to distrust marinette because there is a grain of truth in there! (oh i need to do a lilapost too at some point :O)

like, they're super similar people deep down it seems to me. the main difference is that cloe has audrey bourgeois who's been really really bad for her, where marinette has in a sense two mayor bourgeoises for parents? tom and sabine are doting and permissive and sweet and the mayor seems the same way, right? the difference is that cloe learned from her mom to coldly take advantage of that where marinette learned to be more like that.

consider too how much progress chloe seemed to be making in becoming a better more thoughtful person instead of just thoughtlessly and desperately seeking attention (it doesnt matter if they hate you if they all say your name, natch.) right up until marinette got chloe's mom to stay. in marinettes mind, like, helping chloe reconcile with her mom was a good thing but gosh looking at it from my side its maybe the worst thing marinette could possibly do to chloe. chloe's mom is *awful* to her, and its really no wonder chloe behaves the way she does. shes hurting, her mom is horrifically emotionally abusive, and its just... chloe just wants to be loved. even if she denies it in an insecure, *i* know im great fuck all of you sort of way. she just wants people to notice her.

(sabrina clearly has a whole host of her own issues, god. that level of enabling is horrifying and i really worry about her)

what chloe needs in her life is someone who can guide her without rolling over at chloe's first sign of resistance. and this is where i make the case that *giving* chloe the bee miraculous would have been really good for her. see, think about how often tikki guides marinette to be less obsessive or less jealous or less vindictive. tikki being generally present has been really good and helpful for marinette, right?

if chloe had pollen just generally in her life, she would have a guide who can like help her be better! shed have someone who paid attention to her as, like, a big sister or mom or whatever! (idk what pollens like beyond that she generally seems chill) like a chloe who kept position of the bee miraculous would be given what she needs to grow, a chloe who has her mom back in her life is basically completely blocked from growing (how can she if the only way to make her mom pay attention to her seems to be imitation?)

anyway, i feel really bad for chloe as it stands in canon. queen bee was kind of her lifeline, and more and more often she was completely shut down by marinette. i dont want to make it sound like marinette was unreasonable in this, she *did* have alright reasons, and more than that her hypocrisy in her treatment of chloe as opposed to, say kagami (sure your identity isnt a secret but heres the dragon miraculous in a pinch anyway) is also understandable given chloe's treatment towards marinette-- but understandable doesnt mean that what shes doing isnt hurting chloe and perpetuating this antagonistic cycle between them. if marinette was really some kind of perfect everyday ladybug then shed be able to, if not forgive, then at least recognize her feelings towards chloe and the way they cloud her judgment and work to account for that, but marinette is painfully human. and so is chloe. and its tragic.

double anyway i think chloenette is a very fun and dramatic ship with a lot of great potential for interesting stories.

[usagi-milktea]

Does anyone else favours their main/favo characters simply bc they relate to them alot?

Ok, so i was just looking thru the comments of the ikevamp elimination game on here and i saw how much ppl disliked Theo and Mozart for the name calling/saltiness. I was also quite salty about how many ppl defended arthur bc I fucking hate him almost as much as I hate shakespeare.

This brings back to just yesterday when i suddenly realised that all the tsunderes in the game are my mains, and my only explanation of why is not bc I relate to them the most. Mozart and Theo stans, just out of curiosity- whats your reason for stanning them? Bc i dont think alot of ppl stan their characters simply bc they relate to them. More stuff under the cut if yall interested (it took me ages to find it)

Anyways, where was i before i began a scavenger hunt for the keep reading cut? I’ve seen the other side of Theo and Mozart before (so their “dere” side). Such as Mozart warming up to mc, but another reason why i stan theo is that (ill try not to do spoilers on his route) hes considerate, and i saw him do something the other residents hadn’t thought of. Anyways, heres a list of how i relate to them- i’ve missed out stuff like “Mozart and I are both musicians” and stuff like that, im doing the similarities of how ive always feel sympathetic in a way sometimes (oh shit im having trouble explaining this) and how ive understood them in a way that i know how their feel, if you kinda get what i mean? (oof)

Mozart, Jean, Isaac and I hate social interaction

Somewhere in Mozart’s route he mentions that in the year hes been in the mansion he doesnt rlly go outside and into town and such. He didn’t even know what chocolate was. We have different reasons for this that i wont go into but i just wanna say that I havent been to Tescos (english supermarket btw) for months now and going outside is a BIG challenge for me

Im not too sympathetic, I just speak the truth, so if i need to be harsh I’ll be harsh, so i can relate to Theo and i just love how much of a mood and a savage he is.

Like Isaac i have social anxiety

Just like isaac i have trouble saying stuff in a way people’ll understand, I also have trouble expressing how i feel about something nice or cool in words 

I’ve gone thru a tsundere phase. The whole saying the opposite of what you think. Im still a bit of a tsundere.

Both me and mozart hate noisy stuff. Mezzo forte at the very least guys.

Isaac and I hate being neglected (so like back when he was a human where none of the students showed up to his lectures)

Would you say Jean is depressed? I mean he starves himself and he doesnt like himself either. Well ive gone through depression so i can relate to him in a way.

I once saw jean being described as unforgiving to himself and others, and I dont forgive too easily

Same isaac, same, i just wanna be left alone too, ya know? Peace and quiet for me pls.

Ive had name calling and teasing too at school.

i can be rather stoic sometimes.

This is all i could think of. I dont even thirst over my mains. They’re just my favourite characters, i dont have that much feelings for them, unlike other ppl where they have feelings for a character. I dont have any. I just simply want to be friends with all 4 of them, especially jean, mozart and Isaac. Even when i downloaded the game i didnt give a fuck about the romance, i only played for the characters. But that doesnt mean they cant marry me anytime. Also, ive seen alot of ppl describing isaac as a cute tsundere and if thats why ppl like him, well then im different. Im almost at the end of his route rn, and ive seen what hes gone through in his past life, from his parents to being neglected, all he wanted is peace. And then on top of that he has to deal with dazai and arthur. Im sympathetic for the poor, poor thing, and thats why i like him so much. Anyways, i hope yall dont get the wrong impression of me through the list above and i hope yall get what i mean.

As for the name calling theo does, i thoroughly enjoy being theos pet hondje. I enjoy being called something special, after all being someones beloved pet means that your special to them. I’d happily wear a collar and a leash and id happily wear doggy ears. As long as it doesnt make fun of me personally, i love nicknames.

[alabasterstoned]

Tagged by: @aestheticslyrics 🌟

nicknames: Char, Charlemagne

zodiac: gemini (with a scorpio moon 🌙)

height: 5'8" (Victoria dni)

time: 02:30am

favorite band/artist: Nick Cave, AJJ, Kate Bush, Bjork, Nicole Dollanganger, Bloodhound Gang

song stuck in my head: None rn, I'm podcasting, but here's my current hyperfixactions:

In The Land - Nicole Dollanganger (Give it up for the milk carton angel. Soaked in vomit, tied up at the kitchen table.)

Snuff Out The Light - Ertha Kitt (Revealed to me in secret signs. The mark of the magician.)

Brutus - The Buttress (What motivates me? Hatred? Is it love? What's more wrong, that I too wish to be great or my mother wished she'd had a son? // Of humble origins and born of the cursed sex. My name is Brutus, but the people will call me Rex.)

The Heroine - Unwoman (So you're a coward, who could never love me. Or you have fallen to the enemy.)

last thing I googled: I dont wanna drop names but i was looking for a specific podcaster ao3 fic 🙃

last movie I saw: waaahhhh, this is hard. I actually hate watching movies and tv shows. Oh! It was The Monkey King 3!! This is my favourite of the franchise and y'all can suck my cunt if you think otherwise 😔

other blogs: @the-napoleon-of-crime (main), @hyerballad (pink) those are the only ones I use actively but here's my hoarded urls too, strap in: @divine---trash @graysons-graymom @blood-drive-time @worlds-greatest-date-tective @im-a-fountain-of-blood @dontbeatmeupbrett @thelambtonwrym @givegriffinanenema (this is related to an earlier question, scavenger hunt) @beckygrabthestrap @doflamingopisskink @bitchofdelphi - im stopping here this is a lot and theres like a quarter more 🤐

do I get asks: not really, i think my mutuals feel free to come into my dm's

following: 3907, im sorry if you interact with my blog a lot and I don't on yours. I genuinely never see anyone I know on my dash... 😢😢

average amount of sleep: 7-8 hours

what I'm wearing: army green joggers and smoothie pink strap top (my pyjamas are always like, some kind of joggers/leggings and a strap top)

dream job: the psychologist asked me this and I accidently said I could never imagine happiness deriving from capitalism. She was like ? And i was like... Botanist. 👄 This sounds like one of those and everybody clapped stories but I was just regurgitating all the shit i read on this site day in

dream trip: machu picchu is honestly the one for me, everywhere else is twos and threes 😔🏞️

favorite food: whatever the fuck the fluffy cream on chocolate gateau is, hot sticky toffee pudding (no raisins fuck you), white chocolate, lemon curd

play any instruments: euphonium, but only to pull bitches 😘

eye color: blue

hair color: bleach blonde (Hitler after reading 😔😳)

why did I choose this username: it was a fun play/inside joke with my ex-freind arkenstoned, from the prince of egypt line "walls of alabaster stone" I love it so I'm not changing it just because we're no longer friends ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

languages you speak: English, but I like to collect both how to say "I love you" and favourite term of endearment, from my friends who have different native languages. Szeretlek 😘

most iconic song: https://youtu.be/lTaXtWWR16A

random fact: The epaulette shark is the only shark that can walk on land but did you know she is also my favourite shark 😭😭😭 did you know she's the cutest shark 😭😭😭 the best shark 😭😭😭 oh no 😭🦈😭

describe yourself as aesthetic things: deer bleeding to death on the snow of a vast forest, underneath the ice, kneeling at an altar - looking away from the mirror but your reflection keeps looking at you, that long hard stare Judas gives Jesus in the 2000 version of Superstar - Jesus bloodied/pleading and reaching out for him - until Judas turns away uninterested, Tamsen Donner alone at camp with Keseberg standing in the howling snow - just outside her tent, 11yr old Janet Hodgson - possessed - using false vocal cords - describing dying of a hemorrhage in the chair downstairs, orange lava lamp

i tag: @imageofvoid @bagofghosts @anthropo-cene @here-queer-and-dastardly @unholyywine @the-vampire-squid-from-hell @urbansockmonkey @hlh-yo @justchernobylthings @sugar-coma @damn-antihero @theshortgirlintheredcoat and anyone who wants to say I tagged them/anyone i forgot!! 🎉🎊🎉

[anestheticrage]

>Loading library session…. Done.

///Running TetrisPrinciple.iso….///

Be m3.exe:

In the beginning. With the Words. And the World. And all that jazz. Bootin' up in G∅D's very own rock garden and///or Military Grade Obstacle Course, complete with disembodied megalomaniacal voice to make me feel #5p3ci4L. Tells me to solve puzzles for my own salvation or some shit. Can do O L∅RD, i didn't pay $20 to sit around in your ghetto ass eden anyway. This is what happens when you only hire mines and automatic sentry guns as groundskeepers you sociopath.

Alright, time to Jam, cause as with any puzzle game protagonist I'm too stupid to handle more than one new mec$^2$%^#567@435hanic at a time! Short out some fences, steal some floating keys, more fences, murder the groundskeepers, and OH LOOK MORE FENCES. Glad these mechanics are as original as the PUNNY FUCKING TITLES.

Aight, it's been fun O savior, but it's time. for me to yeet on ou- wait. Is this. Tetris. I SPENT $20 TO PLAY TETRIS WITH EXTRA STEPS, YOU GOTTA BE F%×]!¿....:::--///+&8907$/) 57 38 92 29 29 /////////////////////////

Oh. that's ALOT more puzzles. Fuck it, salvation and ascension here I come. As a reward for my unliving f41Th.png, I even get some new toys! Now we've got a laser stick that only shoots lasers when being shot with lasers. Now in two different colors!!! dOnT cRoSs tHe StReAaAmmMSsSs!!!¿?¿? hE hE XDddD.-/d///_D__xXx_:!|∆…and don't forget to euthenize your faithful Companion Cu- wait fuck wrong simul$&%\ion__.# ..-

'Feel free to participate our new QR code scavenger hunt like it’s 2010! We didn't have the funding for other voice actors, but we hope you enjoy the full cast of zany characters in a purely textual format!' 

Get bored of reading Commander Shepherd and Serious Sam-sung bitching at eachother on every other EL∅HIM DAMNED WALL, and decide to spend some quality time with psychonaut Gho5tM0m.m4a. She really had high hopes for us to become Tetris Grandmaster of the Apocalypse and seeing as there's NOTHING ELSE TO DO, i guess we're living up to the hype. Sounds like the humans all died out from being too bored of solving puzzles [mustb3n1ce.txt], but that wasn't good enough for lovely sado-masochist mother. Must run in the family. She'll even give you a GOLD STAR for breaking the game.

Times are tough with no humans left to torture so naturally S4t4n® got a part time gig as a librar[y]ian, purely out of spite for me, G∅D, and most especially: me. Take a break from all the puzzles and Tetris to debate philosophy with the d3vil which is why we started this shitshow to begin with,...((($#>>>-- right? But don't worry, every right answer is the wrong answer, cause the only wrong answers are the right ones, and if you dont stand your ground you're a little bitch in the 3Ye of the mean librarian snake. Its cool tho, were only doing this TO MAKE THE FUCKING BEEPING STOP ANYWAY. I Kant take this anymore. {}

Time to finally ascend the stupid elevator and end the…. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS THERES MORE PUZZLES. IM NOT EVEN A THIRD OF THE -#!_847#8$(@-#8# @+$AAHHHHHHHHHHH!???!¿?¿!!!$+#6484 37 FML.JPG 40 37 38 67 40

"Don't go to the tower. You'll die." Says G∅D.

"Sounds fake, but okay." Says I, Immediately walking into it while s4taN beeps happily in the background. Que ♪Walk To The Peak♪, cause it's the end of the world bby. 

But the M4N×86 In The High Tower still has the upper hand cause ya cant play Tetris without the square, and the L, and the stupid stunted T thing (?¿??¿??¿). fuck it lets go graverobbing, cause misappropriaton of a full pantheon of spiritual allegories into your pseudo sci fi existential crisis isn't complete without some PYRAMIDS!

Find a VHS player, jump on some fans, join a Lan party with yourself, read depressed emails, wonder how m0M ever got funding to build the world's most pointless hamster wheel when all she did was drop acid and listen to Pink Fløyd, lose all your self esteem to the d3vil, and find the sacred tombs of the most h#%\\°^Ly of messengers. Don't worry: just like any good servant of G∅D, they can only help you after you've helped yourself.

E:\> CMD.GoFuCkYoUrSeLf  

Stumble over to Camelot, learn how to serve yourself on a silver platter, fall in a hole, Indiana Jones yourself to that last gold star, fall in the SAME FUCKING HOLE, realize the sci fi genre should’ve died with Philip K Dick, and I swear to Milton, if I have to play one more fucking round of tetris, I @/*>>WILL <”! bring that axe with me up the tower. 

After several long weeks of screaming into the void, picking sand out of my joints, crying about my mommy issues, striking deals with Librarians, tuning out G∅D like its sunday mass, and collecting tetra-blocks like a coked out vintage gaming hoarder; the pearly gates finally open. 

"I am proud of you, my child. You may now ascend as one of my chosen fe- wait where are you going with that axe!? Eugene, come back dOnT gO uP tHe ToWeR&$! 66 75 63 6b!!!!¿!?!?"

Go straight to the top of the fucking tower and run into Samsung the QR hunt reigning champion. Bout to axe him some deep philosophical questions before Shep shows up. "No, Eugene, this man is a nihilist. Nothing to be afraid of." Works for me. How about the allegorical stormcloud of spiritual doubt and existential regret chasing us up the tower with s0ul.{error} crushing determination? Nothing like a timed event in a self-paced game to ramp up the tension in place of functionally innovative mechanics! 

Climb to the peak with new best bud and the devil o{in}n my shoulder while G∅D.exe cries digital tears of joy that you rejected him (wtf). Hack [see above axe.png] into the Heaven Hub and commit mass self genocide to get a slick ass robo bod and a brand new empty wasteland to rule while the devil and god continue raging inside of me.

I hope mom would be proud… 3a 20 27 20 28

>>> Terminating session….

> Session terminated.