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lastxviolet · 3 years

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Madripoor is for Lovers (Zemo x F!Reader) - Ch. 3

Summary: Y/N is a SWORD agent recruited to help Sam and Bucky track down Karli and the super-soldiers. When Helmut Zemo joins the team, he takes a special interest in her. The friendly union is wrought for disaster, but then things take a turn for the worst when Y/N is taken as collateral. Will Zemo keep her forever? Does she even want to escape? And what happened in Madripoor that made the whole thing so complicated?

Warnings: 18+ / smut / oral sex / f receiving

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32878015/chapters/81589774

The hypnotic bass and Zemo's enthusiastic dance moves almost got you carried away. But over the bouncing crowd, you saw Sharon, Bucky, and Sam on the stairs, looking for you.

“Shit,” you mumbled, breaking the trance. “We gotta go.”

Zemo followed your line of sight and turned to lead you back to the group in silence. You try to hide the disappointment on your face.

“We found him,” Sharon yelled over the music upon your approach.

The five of you went over the plan for tomorrow back in Sharon’s suite. You doubted that even with your experience, you could’ve found Dr. Nagel without Sharon's help. In the states, it was easy to pick a needle out of a haystack, because you always knew what you were looking for. But here, everyone was a criminal. Uncharted territory where you had to find the sharpest needle amongst thousands.

“You good?”

Sam’s voice cut through your thoughts. You looked up and noticed the dissipating group. Sharon showed Bucky to his room, and Zemo sat with his eyes glued to a book on the couch. Only Sam remained standing in front of you, looking like he was about to pass out.

“I’m fine,” you assured him. “Go get some sleep. You look terrible.”

He chuckled and nodded in agreement. “We gotta get the hell out of here. Madripoor has aged me at least ten years.”

“Me too. I miss places where being a criminal makes you the odd one out, not the other way around.”

“Goody two-shoes,” he teased before turning to find his room.

Sharon waved him on from down the hall and they got back into it about her pardon and what she’d missed in the states.

Your attention shifted to the only other person in the room. Zemo’s eyes wasted no time abandoning his book and landing on you as soon as you were alone.

“The Odyssey,” you asked, pointing to his book. “I didn’t take you for someone who enjoys fiction.”

He smiled at the attention and made room for you on the couch.

“I often find that there are elements of truth in every fantasy. The human spirit is sometimes better examined by poets than by professors. This, for instance, is a brilliant study on heroes.”

“Hmm, studying heroes? An attempt to know thy enemy?”

He laughed and turned to you with his elbow up on the back of the couch, bringing him less than a foot away from your face. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the lights down the hall go out. There were no interruptions, or easy outs, now. All that was left was you, and the only man who’d ever made you truly nervous.

“Y/N, if you were in Odysseus’s place, content and immortal, would you give it up to go back home?”

“You’re asking me if I’d abandon my legacy and family to shack up on an island with some mistress?”

He chuckled and nodded in approval. “Very wise. But what does he gain by leaving? Struggle? Hardship? Mortality?”

You tilted your head to match his. “Are you telling me that you’d stay on the island?”

His expression shifted for the first time since you’d stepped foot in Madripoor. The overconfident, smirking Baron dissolved into a man.

A man who hid the sense of riotousness that he carried with dramatic flair. A man whose charm and wit seemed fabricated.

This man now, fighting off sleepy eyes and grappling with the moral quandary posed, seemed burdened. You wondered if his quest for justice would ever get to be too much. After all the destruction he’d caused, could he still see himself as the exactor of fairness? Were the Avengers still his enemy? Were you?

“No,” he confessed looking down at the copy in his hands.

Your lips twitched but you didn’t smile. “You’d make the hard choice — the hero’s choice if it came down to it.”

He looked almost somber at your words and nodded.

“In another life…perhaps.”

His voice wavered, almost as if he regretted saying it out loud. The briefing that Sam and Bucky had given you about him flashed in your mind.

A hero's choice was the right thing to do; the hard thing to do. You knew that he was a soldier before everything happened. Just like you.

Was that not a hero’s choice?

He tore the Avengers apart in an attempt to stitch up his own heart. An eye for an eye. Avenging his country because its destruction had been glossed over by the world. His loss fueled his anger but he was more capable than most. A man without armor, or mystical abilities was able to wreak havoc on those who had wronged him.

Was that heroism?

If losing those you love didn’t permit revenge, you weren't sure what did.

He broke the silence by tapping his knuckle on the book.

“It is the perfect testament to the valiance of heroes,” he continued. "But, I must say that the wisest thing Odysseus did was marry his wife.”

You laughed and nodded, remembering how she saved the day. Without her, Odysseus’s homecoming would’ve been much more perilous for him.

“I often find that behind every great man is an even better woman.”

He smirked and didn’t miss a beat. “Like you with…your Avengers.”

“I stand beside them,” you corrected.

He raised an eyebrow and waved a hand. “Semantics."

You gave him an eye roll in return.

He smiled then, wider than you had ever seen. It almost made him seem shy. Perhaps it was because he was making a genuine point, masked in humor.

You were well aware of your importance to this mission and yet burdened by the fact that it didn’t make you a member of their special club. When this was all over, you wouldn’t be an Avenger, or anywhere close. You’d go back to S.W.O.R.D to wait until called upon again. It hadn’t occurred to you before, but there was a pang of sadness there where the thought rested. It’d be a mistake to let Zemo know but it seemed to be too late.

“You’re making fun of me.”

His hand brushed yours. “No. I am merely expressing my concerns about your allegiances.”

Still aware of the small amount of alcohol left in your system, you looked away from his quirked moving lips.

“Enlighten me, Baron. What wrong decisions do you think I’m making?”

Frozen in place, you let him brush his fingers along your wrist to your arm. He took his time, tracing patterns on your skin and inspecting his work with an unwavering gaze. Only when his thumb caressed your cheek, and his hand landed on your neck did he look you in the eyes again. The air in your lungs was gone and your body betrayed you with a furious eruption of butterflies.

“Living a hero’s life,” he said somber-eyed and serious.

Your heart rate quickened. As if you’d learned nothing in S.W.O.R.D about manipulation, you were back to watching his lips. They parted slightly, as if he had something else to say but thought better of it.

A hero.

You didn't feel like one.

A sidekick, maybe. But even then, no one knew your name. No one sang your praises at home or breathed a sigh of relief knowing you were out there in the world fighting evil. It seemed that the only one who thought of you as more than an assistant was Zemo.

Your heart felt heavy then. The two of you were impossible. An inconceivable pair brought together by chance.

But that didn’t make his dark eyes any less enticing or his words any less intoxicating.

That didn’t make you any further from his lips.

He was a breath away, but so was your own destruction.

In another life, the island might tempt you.

“Look,” you said glancing past him to find something to change the subject. “It’s a full moon.”

Without sparing him another glance, you crossed the floor in four quick steps to the large windows. Never one to give up easily, you heard him follow close behind.

He beat you there and pushed open the glass door before gesturing towards the balcony in silence.

You looked down at your feet until the skyline drew your eyes. The plan to diffuse the tension had not worked in the slightest. The moonlit balcony overlooking the beautiful city had only made it worse.

You heard him stop a few feet from you and then settle on the lone armchair. The reality of the situation hit you like a train. Away from the windows, you had privacy. This high up no one would see you and everyone else was in bed. You'd meant to creep out of the lion's den but instead, you'd locked yourself in.

“The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to,” Zemo mused from behind you.

“Carl Sanburg,” you confirmed, so he knew you didn't think he'd made it up.

Both of you were silent then. Swaying in the tension you'd built. Sanity pulling you back inside, inexplicable hope keeping you planted in place.

“Are you lonely, Baron?”

The words fell from your lips more delicate and intimate than you had meant them to. You let slip that you cared about his answer. That you might even care to cure him of the ailment.

“Me? No.”

You turned and scoffed.

“Liar. You were in a cell for years and you hardly talk to anyone now that you’re out.”

He leaned back in the chair, arms on either rest and a leg crossed with the ankle of his right knee. His demeanor was harmless in the same way that a predator poised to pounce was. Elegant, still, and ready for the kill.

“Not true,” he corrected. “I talk to you.”

“One person isn’t enough,” you said, taking a step closer.

Were you walking into disaster? Or being pulled? You couldn't tell the difference between his seduction and your own reckless desires any longer.

“The right person though…can be,” he half-whispered. “And you, Y/N, are more than I deserve.”

He gazed up at you from the chair. Kings throughout history, in war-won golden thrones and elegant capes, paled in comparisons to how regal he looked. Anointed with a crown of moonlight, ruling over whomever he pleased.

Your eyes widened with the admission. “Baron — ”

“Helmut, please.” He stood then and met you near the railing, his hand grazing your hip. “Only if for tonight.”

You shook your head, knowing this was a bad idea. His hand made its way to your waist regardless. He pulled you against his chest before searching your eyes for any signal that you were going to run. You knew he’d find nothing. You knew you mirrored his look of lust with blown pupils and flushed cheeks.

“Have I gone too far,” he whispered, bringing his other hand to brush loose hair behind your ear.

“No,” you sighed, letting him pull you closer and brush his lips to your cheek and jaw.

“Tell me if I do,” he whispered again before finally capturing your lips with his.

You uttered no complaints as his tentative kiss turned bruising and possessive. His arms wound around your waist, crushing you into him. But you needed to feel closer. He grunted as you sprung to action, flinging your arms around his neck, deepening the desperate kiss. He tasted like whiskey and something sweet. A cool breeze brushed against the exposed parts of your body. You let your hands wander beneath his coat, chasing warmth and proximity. He let you do as you please, only insisting that his lips stayed on yours.

You let out a whimper as his hand explored the front of your dress. He stopped to press his warm hand against your breast, before holding your face.

It was then that he pulled away, steadying your searching lips with a grip on your chin.

“Ich esse nicht,” he sighed, kissing a pattern to your ear. “Ich schlafe nicht, ich tue nichts anderes, als an dich zu denken.”

His teeth grazed your pulse point, leaving you gasping for air.

“I don’t speak German,” you managed to stutter out.

A hand slid up the back of your dress, gripping the zipper before undoing it in one swift motion and the fabric fell to the floor. The cool air seized your naked torso for only a moment before Zemo pressed himself against you again. The coat you’d complained about before, now provided warmth and security. You tipped your head back, almost over the edge of the balcony as he continued worshipping your neck and chest.

“I don’t eat, I don’t sleep,” he said between wet open-mouthed kisses on your breasts. His hot mouth left purple spots that cooled instantly in the chilly night air.

“I do nothing but think of you,” he finished before toying with your hardened nipple between his teeth.

You moaned then, louder than you should’ve, and let your eyes flutter open. The world was upside-down but you made no motion to move. You were making Madripoor proud by being pressed up against a balcony by an international criminal.

Utterly pleased with himself, Zemo raised his face back towards yours, leaning you both over the edge.

“Shhh liebling,” he cooed.

He pulled you back over, kissing your shoulder before removing his jacket and draping it over you. Each brush of his lips feeling more improper than the last.

“We would not want your friends to see you like this.”

In the next second, he swept you off of your feet and hoisted you into his strong arms. You watched the world sway around you and then settle when he placed you on the lounge chair, letting you get some warmth back from the coat and cushions.

He draped one of your legs over an armrest, exposing you to him except for a thin pair of underwear.

“Not with you spread open for me,” he growled. He towered over you for only a moment before kneeling between your legs. The man whose stature made him the tallest amongst giants; the most important in any room he chose, knelt before you.

“What would they say,” he mumbled in a trace. His hands gripped both of your thighs, causing an eruption of goosebumps across your whole body. “If they saw you like this, with me?”

He looked up at you then, raising an eyebrow, and tracing the inside of your thigh with his thumb.

You answered him breathlessly. “They’d tell you to stop.”

“And what would you say to that?”

His voice sent shockwaves through your system. Dark and sultry, with a hint of danger. You threw your head back again, barely able to keep a single thought straight. Your body shuddered but you couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the need for his touch. When you looked back to him, he was surveying your body with the hunger of a starved wolf.

“Would you want me to stop?” His voice was gentle and sweet then, asking in earnest.

“Meine Liebe," he taunted you for consent as he flashed a smirk and pulled something from his pocket.

Cold metal grazed your thigh. A moan escaped your throat as he unsheathed a serrated knife and caressed your skin with the dull side.

“I wouldn’t want you to stop,” you gasped, almost vibrating with anticipation. “I don’t want you to stop — Helmut — please don’t stop.”

He chucked again, before focusing his attention on the area between your legs. You bucked slightly as the icy knife slid underneath the fabric. He made one strong slash upwards and you felt the fabric fall away from your wet core. One of his hands gripped your ass, but only for a second before he tore the rest of the fabric from your body.

“How could I ever withhold something from you, liebling?” His nose grazed your inner thigh, inching closer and closer to where you needed him most. It was only a moment before you felt his breath between your legs.

“How cruel it would be,” he growled. You moaned and slapped a hand over your mouth as he kissed your sensitive bundle of nerves. “To not give you everything.”

His tongue swirled against you in a tantalizing pattern, stroking you deliciously. He licked you methodically like he was reading the blueprint of your body right then and there. He held each thigh in a punishing grip, pressing you deeper into the cushions as he made a meal of you. The stars above your head blurred and the universe shifted.

If this was your destruction then it was illustrious. You'd do it over and over again until you landed in a cell right next to him.

“Helmut,” you whined with a heaving chest.

“Tell me what you want,” he mumbled between flicks of his tongue. “And it is yours.”

You would’ve begged him to let you cum but he beat you to it, making your back arch and mouth fall open in ecstasy. You trembled beneath him, over and over, but he didn’t let up. Your legs strained from being extended by his unflinching hands. You tried to stutter something out to him but no sound came except for content sighs and haphazard gasps. But his eyes remained closed regardless of the noise.

Without his mouth on you, he would’ve been mistakable for a good Christian, deep in prayer. Brow's furrowed in focus and devotion; lips moving in silent divine appeals. Only he could make you feel worthy of an alter. You couldn't picture anyone ever worshipping you in the same way again. It was his, you thought. I am his.

Lost in pleasure and shock, you reached up to run your nails against his scalp. Only then did he release you, and raise to meet your waiting lips as they trembled.

“You,” was all you could manage to whisper. “Only you.”

He pulled you from the seat, to wrap your legs around him. You brought your forehead to his and let him pepper you with chaste kisses.

“When I have you,” he said, before pulling the coat around you again. “It will be in a proper bed.”

You stared at him, confused and overwhelmed. The space between your legs ached with a longing to be filled but he let your legs fall away, and stood up.

“We can’t…I mean not now — they’ll hear.”

Zemo smiled and nodded while looking for something on the ground. After a moment of searching, he picked up the torn pieces of the red underwear you had been wearing. Before you could retrieve it, he pocketed the shorn fabric and stared you straight in the eyes.

“Worry not, Y/N,” he purred, reaching a hand out to help you up. “We have all the time in the world.”

#zemo fic #baron zemo fic #baron zemo x you #baron zemo x reader #baron zemo #helmut zemo smut #helmut zemo x you #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo #zemo smut #zemo x reader #zemo fanfic

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silentfcknhill · 4 years

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FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions:

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer and anyone else who wants to!

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chillwithaster · 3 years

Photo

SUMMARY: “Wo ho ho there, Kaedehara, where do you think you’re going?” Venti and Xiao moved to grip each of his wrists. If Kazuha had not known any better, he would think they were shackles by how deathly their holds were.

Venti gave him a light smile. As if he’s going to let this bleach-streaked, toothpaste-hogger fiend anywhere close to his date to the-

“Your date?” Xiao started.

Whoops, did he say that out loud?

RELATIONSHIPS : Albedo/Kong | Aether (Genshin Impact) || Kong | Aether/Xiao | Alatus (Genshin Impact || Kong | Aether/Venti (Genshin Impact) || Kaedehara Kazuha/Kong | Aether

Please consider supporting me on Ko-fi because im kind of in a need for extra cash to help out my family during the pandemic ! every little bit helps and I'm giving out incentives for donations ! A dollar for a personalized reviewer and study guide or a genshin fanfiction of your choice !

AO3

“Well, this is most unfortunate.”

Venti could already feel the caffeine in his systems fuel his flight-or-fight response as he saw not one but two of his roommates standing outside the library.

He really needed a drink and pronto.

This was supposed to be his shining moment; the ballad to end all ballads; the righteous bard’s claim to a golden prince’s heart after their loveless rendezvous.

Venti had finally gotten the courage to ask Aether out to the Ludi Harpastum Dance – one of the most anticipated events in the entirety of their university. It was known as a Mondstadtian custom that he himself absolutely adored for its flowers, games, cuisines, and especially romantic atmosphere.

It was going to be perfect, really.

But no, Barbatos above and mighty, these – unsultry fiends decided to rain over such a wonderful parade.

“Agreed.” He shot a half-hearted glare at the white-haired male next to him, who had decided to dress-up from his usual plain tees and jeans.

Instead, Kazuha was wearing a half-buttoned black blazer (one that Venti swore was his, mind you) with black skinny jeans and a white polo-shirt. His hair was tied tighter than his usual lopsided ponytail, and Venti swore the other’s glasses had never been cleaner.

Now, though Venti was quite ecstatic to see his friend out of his usual horrendous fashion-style, he was visibly irked by the bouquet of Carnations in Kazuha’s arms.

“Move. You’re blocking the entrance.” The other two broke from their staring contest to find slitted amber hues.

For as long as Venti knew Xiao, even the Contemporary Music major knew his roommate looked good in a turtleneck.

And unfortunately for him, Xiao knew that too.

Sporting a sleeveless dark green turtleneck and a black leather jacket fastened firmly around his waist, Xiao glared from behind the brown, large toy dragon plushie he was hugging.

“Uh excuse me.” Venti chirped, a hand to his hip to assert his dominance as their senior. “I was here first, mind you. Now buzz off.”

Xiao cocked a brow at him. “Don’t tell me you’re bringing in food to a library.”

The braided boy gawked at him before guiltily looking down at the two boxes of doughnuts in his hands. Boxed in pastel green and white, his warm, delicious, better than what his other roommates could ever bake in their entire life, homemade desserts stared back in shame at the thought of being left behind.

“Of course not!”

Kazuha and Xiao did not believe him.

“Of course…” The Inazuman began before moving past Venti. “Now please excuse me, I need to speak with-“

“Wo ho ho there, Kaedehara, where do you think you’re going?” Venti and Xiao moved to grip each of his wrists. If Kazuha had not known any better, he would think they were shackles by how deathly their holds were.

Venti gave him a light smile. As if he’s going to let this bleach-streaked, toothpaste-hogger fiend anywhere close to his date to the-

“Your date?” Xiao started.

Whoops, did he say that out loud?

Venti turned to his supposed ally as he released Kazuha’s hand. However, despite his fumble, the Cheshire grin on his lips still slashed through. “Yeah. My date to the Ludi Harpastum Dance.”

If looks could kill, Venti would be six feet under.

“Isn’t it quite bold of you to assume he’d want … you?” Kazuha began, scanning him up and down.

“I am offended!” Damn, the senior could feel ten years being subtracted from his time on earth. “And yes I do! Unlike both of you, I’ve known Aether the longest. From all the way ever since he moved here, so that makes me his best friend.”

The other two were not convinced.

“Yeah. Friend.” Venti wanted to hurl something hard into Xiao’s smirk. “And aren’t you more mature than that? For such an old man, you’d think you’d be past using the length of a relationship to measure its worth.”

“I agree with Xiao.” Kazuha hissed from behind, and Venti almost held a high grin at knowing why he was so defensive. Kazuha only had a month in his little pool of Aether interactions, so he knew he stood no chance if that was the criterion. “One’s closeness mustn’t be measured by how much – but rather how well – that time spent together was.”

Venti rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever.”

Honestly, he had not expected this. Especially not from these two.

Venti had always assumed that Xiao wanted nothing to do with relationships, especially since Xiao had made it quite crystal clear to anyone that had tried making moves on him that he was not interested. Same goes for Kazuha, who seemed to be more inclined to pour his focus into his studies in Literature rather than pursuing a love life.

But alas, here they are.

“Excuse me.” The three snap out of their heated staring contest to find a mop of kempt blond hair behind them.

Albedo stared at the three suspicious figures with a raised brow. As the junior librarian of the campus, it was his job to make sure students were not loitering outside to cause a mess.

“You’re keeping others from entering. If you have no business here, could you please go back to your dormitories.” His eyes shift to the pastries in Venti’s arms. “No food inside.”

Venti could just hear the snickers from behind him.

“Right, of course.” He started. “Sorry, Albedo.”

The three would have moved to allow the blond entrance had Kazuha not seen the striking figure painted diligently on the canvas in Albedo’s arm.

“Wait.” The albino held a hand to Albedo’s shoulder. “That painting…”

The bright crimson on Albedo’s cheeks was already a dead giveaway.

Venti and Xiao stopped in horror before peering over Albedo’s shoulder. Ah shit.

Drawn with the precision only the famed Kreideprinz could attain was a figure basked in golden locks. The figure’s face was turned away ever so slightly from the viewer, framed by light bangs as soft eyes gazed longingly into the sunset behind them. But even without seeing any other details, the two already knew who this was.

Suddenly, a plushie and a batch of doughnuts just felt sad.

Albedo turned to face the trio, shamefully hiding the portrait behind his figure.

“You like Aether?” Venti began.

“Yes, and what of it?” Albedo brought his jacket’s sleeve to his mouth, covering the bright blush he was harboring. “I don’t believe that I have any reason to be quite ashamed of such…and for you to be so scrutinizing…”

The three stared at him like kicked puppies.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

Albedo stopped and looked at the gifts in their hands.

“Ah.”

The weight of the situation just immediately dawned on the four.

“It seems the captor of ours hearts knows no restraint.” Kazuha sighed wistfully.

Xiao said nothing, but a nod was sufficient.

“…Are you all here to also ask him to the dance?” Albedo leaned on the door.

Even without an answer, he already knew.

“We can’t just go in there.” Xiao sighed. “It’ll end in a disaster, trust me.”

“But we cannot just let such an opportunity pass.” Venti saw how Kazuha was almost ready to barge in the doors for himself.

“Right, right, calm down there, he’s not going anywhere.” Venti offered.

Albedo moved to turn around, and the three watched him peer through the library’s wooden doors.

There seated amongst several stacks of books was their culprit. Aether had a textbook over his head and a whale pillow under his folded arms. With how slow his chest was rising, the four knew he was asleep.

“I should scold him next time. The library is not his bedroom.” Albedo smiled fondly at the figure, and the other three could only stare in defeat.

There was no way they could just barge in there and disturb his peace like that. Especially not when he looks so exhausted. Aether would just be overwhelmed by all their invitations, and the last thing they wanted was to be a burden to their beloved.

“So, now what?” Venti moved out of the way, glancing in confusion at the other three.

Kazuha and Xiao shared a look, but it was Albedo that first opened his mouth.

“We should take him to a date. A proper one. One from each of us. And one where we could help him alleviate his stress and show him a good time.”

The three stopped in consideration.

Albedo continued. “Think about it. He’s quite exhausted. If our feelings for him are genuine, then we should be willing to console him when he needs us the most. And only then – perhaps - he can decide who he wishes to take to the dance.”

Venti had wished his first date with Aether were under different circumstances.

But at the same time…he isn’t against the thought of spoiling Aether silly. Even if it is shared sentimentally with three other people.

After a moment, it was Kazuha that gave an opinion. “But we should set ground rules. If the purpose of this date to help Aether unwind, it is imperative that none of us ask him to the dance.”

“Why?” Xiao crossed his arms. “Then wouldn’t that just render our dates pointless?”

“Not quite.” Kazuha offered a smile. “Aether’s happiness should come first.”

Xiao agreed in a heartbeat.

“Okay, let’s go with that.” Venti smiled at the prospect.

Yeah, Aether’s happiness is the topmost priority. And if none of them could provide that for Aether, then Venti thinks that none of them (himself included) are worthy of Aether’s kindness!

“But…” His thoughts blank. “Can I go last?”

“Why?” Albedo raised a brow.

“My paycheck doesn’t come until next Thursday.”

If his peers had one thing in common, it was how stupid they could make someone feel just by staring.

“I had to cut back time for my classes, okay? Sheesh!” Venti argued.

“Then that’s settled.” Albedo sighed.

“May I go first?” Kazuha offered, and though none of the other males seemed to object, Xiao was quick to reply with a sharp ‘why’. The albino bashfully chuckled. “There is a musical I have been meaning to bring him to that is in three days. It would be a shame to miss it.”

There were no objections.

Albedo raised an open palm, only to be met with several blank stares.

“A form of contract. May the best man win.”

The blonds lips were quirked upward slightly, and though apprehensive, Venti shook his hand.

Venti wasn’t the smartest person, but he wasn’t dumb either.

He may not know a lot when it comes to studies, but he knows one thing.

When these three wanted something, they would break the earth just to get their way.

“Indeed! May the winds guide you in your endeavor.”

But it also takes one to know one.

#genshin impact #fanfiction #albedo #albether #xiao #xiaoaether #aether #kazuha #kazuhaether #venti #aeventi

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captnjacksparrow · 3 years

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So does Kishi officially hate NH and SS? Because I can't help but think like that when I see them in Boruto. Like no way he wants them to be seen as happy or content. Also, it seems like he still hates Sakura because just just look at her, she hasn't really changed. Her dynamic with Sasuke hasn't really changed. She gives chase, Sasuke ignores. Except Sasuke looks more depressed.

Hey, after fifteen years of us chasing after the story and characters we invested in so much, at least give us some indication that they are least happy after sooo many sacrifices, like they deserve that happiness.

But no, if anything, they seem totally miserable. What made Kishi do that? Yes, he can't show them ooc, but Sasuke marrying Sakura is already ooc. Naruto being a bad father is already ooc. Like why go to the extent of showing Sasuke trying not to touch Sakura and pointedly showing that they never kissed? That's just like a determined effort on Kishi's part to show that their marriage is not working. Naruto works way more than any of his predecessors and sleeps in the office or couch so as not to disturb Hinata, when Hinata is specifically designed to accommodate anything that Naruto might require.

Don't get me wrong, I think Boruto is trash. But I am still in interested in SNS in Boruto because that's still canon. Just makes me wonder how Kishi will finally conclude SNS, because their bond still shows clearly in Boruto. Do you think he will kill them any time soon?

Good ask, Anon☺️☺️❤️❤️

Before answering this, I am going to tell you that I don’t watch Boruto. But I know what happened so far, vaguely. Like, Gaiden arc, Karma seal, Kawaki adoption, Kurama’s death, loss of Rinnegan, Time travel arc. Anyways, I might have missed many interactions between Sasuke & Sakura in the filler episodes or other canonical episodes. I would be happy If you send me an episode list or timestamps in where they interact, so that it saves my time instead of me, watching that entire shit show.

So does Kishi officially hate NH and SS?

In this post, I dissected SS from a non-SNS perspective. It seems Kishi went all out of his way to make their interactions too insincere, blunt and toxic. I mean Sasuke’s absolute lack of interest in her was very evident even until chapter 693. That is right before, their final VoTE fight. And even after Sakura comes to heal their injuries, he just said ‘Ummmm..... I guess Sorry’...

Kishi could have made Sasuke say some corny shit to Sakura like how he felt bad inside for hurting her, how he missed her, wiping her tears or whatever (Puke!!!! 🤮🤮🤮). Because in the previous chapter, Sasuke basically confessed to Naruto internally about how he felt about Naruto when he was a child. Kishi could have done the same for Sakura in just 4, 5 panels. But anyways, my point is, Kishi’s moment to salvage that ship is chapter 699.

But he didn’t.

Did Kishi tried to build their bond after marriage?

He definitely could’ve. But he didn’t.

This shows his clear distaste in SS.

As for NH, Kishi is indifferent. He neither hates them nor loves them. Kishi created Hinata as a pairing fodder and she still is.

Also, it seems like he still hates Sakura because just just look at her, she hasn't really changed. Her dynamic with Sasuke hasn't really changed. She gives chase, Sasuke ignores. Except Sasuke looks more depressed.

Hmmm, I don’t know whether Sasuke hates her, anon. Again, maybe I’ve missed those parts. But when he looks at her, it’s always filled with regrets and an urge to avoid her (like Itachi avoided Sasuke, but for totally sad and genuine reasons).

But this again begs the question, ‘Why feeling regret or hesitant even after 12 years?’.

Believe me anon, Love/Bonds/Understanding can happen at anytime of your life. From where I come from, not everyone marries out of love. Arranged marriages are common. But still, many couples make effort and work out their difference, and find love. Kishi could’ve done the same for SS too.

Is Sasuke that heartless? No.

He was once a boy who bear hugged his brother every time Itachi comes back from the Academy. Itachi’s presence itself made Sasuke so happy.

Did he become heartless after the massacre? Also no.

Even after the trauma, Sasuke just became aloof and cold. But he always becomes a child who can pout, be silly, becomes animated, bicker around Naruto. So, he can be lovely, but only around the people he choose by himself.

Still, Sakura is not that person. So, he looks like he is depressed and wants to escape from her at any given chance because of a certain guilt.

What made Kishi do that? Yes, he can't show them ooc, but Sasuke marrying Sakura is already ooc. Naruto being a bad father is already ooc. Like why go to the extent of showing Sasuke trying not to touch Sakura and pointedly showing that they never kissed? That's just like a determined effort on Kishi's part to show that their marriage is not working.

To answer, this goes way back, anon.

Kishi is a person who prefers to write love through intense friendship, sensei-student dynamics and brotherhood. He can occasionally write cute and sweet romance but it can only be short like 2 or 3 pages... or a chapter, max. He can’t go on doing it for 70 chapters for romance. Which was evident from Minato & Kushina, Dan & Tsunade, Obito & Rin.

But the real deal of Naruto manga is the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. The bond between Itachi and Sasuke also played a huge role in this series. And then comes Hashirama and Madara, Jiraiya and Naruto, Kakshi and Obito, Kakashi and Naruto and many more. So, Kishi pretty much gave an ending he wanted for a long time in chapter 699. He successively pulled off a great manga without corny and shitty romance but with just friendship and brotherhood alone. He didn’t give two shits about NH or SS before chapter 700.

Naruto series’ another success lies on it’s characters tragic backstories. I simply loved them all and most of them made me cry.

Kishi wanted to move on from Naruto.

But then Money played a big part. Naruto series can be milked in a lot of ways. Editors wanted all the characters to become some baby making dolls. So you have to create pairings. Based on the popularity polls, they decided NH and SS.

In my opinion, Sasuke is a goal-oriented person. He is a wanderer who works on his own accords. Ever since he left Konoha when he was 13, that was his path, so you can’t make him stay in one place. At every stage of his life, he had different goals.

At age 8-15, he had one goal. To kill Itachi. Can he have a romance here? Nope.

At age 16, his goal is to destroy Konoha. No chance of romance in that dark path.

At age 17, he wanted to Revolutionize the shinobi system. Since he wanted to be alone for that goal, no possibility of romance.

At age 18, he adopted Naruto’s dream as his own. To make all shinobi cooperate and look out for Kaguya remains. Romance cannot happen here as he was constantly wandering around and he prefers to work alone.

This is how Kishi designed Sasuke’s character throughout.

Now all of a sudden, if you ask Kishi to go OOC by asking him to write corny romance for his favorite character Sasuke just for the sake of making him relevant to Boruto series, what will he do?

Since Boruto is a series which is a sequel to Naruto, you pretty much know everyone’s backstory. Those 12 year old New Gen kids possibly can’t have tragic stories like Naruto or Sasuke.

Kishi being a troller, used this opportunity to create a piss poor sob story for Sarada by making Sasuke as an absentee father and an unloving husband.

He created a sad story for Sarada and he gets to shit on SS ship. Two birds, One stone!!!!

Now, Sasuke being an unloving husband is OOC ? Nope. He was never a marriage material in the first place. So he is perfectly in-character.

Sasuke being an absentee father is OOC? No and Yes. No, because it’s the effect of the cause I mentioned above. Yes, because unlike Naruto, Sasuke once had a father. He can try to reach her out now and often. but he prefers not to do instead he cares more about Boruto. LOL.

Sasuke being not family oriented is OOC? Nope. He is a goal oriented person. His goal is same as Naruto’s dream. He will go to any extent to fulfill it, even at the expense of his family’s happiness. Because that’s what he learnt from Itachi. What Itachi taught him was, even at the expense of his own happiness and Sasuke’s trauma, he preferred Konoha and Shinobi World’s peace. That’s what Sasuke is doing now.

Naruto works way more than any of his predecessors and sleeps in the office or couch so as not to disturb Hinata, when Hinata is specifically designed to accommodate anything that Naruto might require.

As for Naruto,

I think it’s very funny. And I guess, I know why.

Just like Sasuke, Naruto is also a goal oriented person.

Remember, in that Boruto movie, Sasuke knocks Naruto’s door at the midnight?

Imagine if Naruto opened the door.

Sasuke will be like, ‘Alright mothafucka!!! I wanted to die in the VoTE itself. You wanted me in your dream world. Am working my ass off for your stupid dreams and trying to reach you without even meeting my own family. And yet here you are, sleeping well and sound. Am just gonna Chidori you!!!’ LOL.

I think you get my point.

If you make Sasuke to be an hardworker, then Naruto must work even hard to fulfill his dream. So you possibly can’t have Naruto playing duet with Himata or whatever trash.

So kishi pulled his Two birds, One Stone for NH here!!!

In short, Kishi gets to make his New generation shine through this pathetic sob stories and at the same time, kept his favorite characters without going OOC.

So, it’s a polite way of Kishi showing middlefinger to SS and NH for making him do this. He is saying, ‘Alright folks, you wanted this all along. But this is what you will get!!!’.

Just makes me wonder how Kishi will finally conclude SNS, because their bond still shows clearly in Boruto. Do you think he will kill them any time soon?

I think about this all the time. How will they end?? How will they die??

Now, don’t think I am some sadist for wanting them to die. I am just being practical and honest here. This is a new generation series. Of course, at some point, Naruto and Sasuke has to die for the sake of character development. And I will be happy if they die because I don’t like their miserable portrayal in Boruto at all.

Naruto series has a pattern when it comes to death portrayal. Meaningful characters (except Neji) always die protecting someone/something they cherish. Jiraiya died for Naruto, Yahiko died for Konan & Nagato, Itachi died for Sasuke & Konoha, Haku died for Zabuza, Obito (younger) died for Kakashi & Rin and so on.

Ever since Naruto became Hokage, his death is pretty much plastered on his head. He will die protecting Konoha just like all the Hokages from First to Fourth who sacrificed their life for Konoha.

But Sasuke???

I am going to say he will die protecting Naruto or the village. But for Naruto mostly. Either way, Sasuke will die first.

Dying for Naruto, the reasons are crystal clear. He already died protecting Naruto once in the Zabuza arc. He will never hesitate to do it again. Which was evident from the way he told Naruto in the Boruto movie while giving his Susanoo, ‘If they capture the real you, then everything is gone’. Somewhere in Boruto Manga chapter 38 (I don’t remember properly), Sasuke was yelling at Naruto, ‘If you are gone, it’s pretty hopeless’ and was praying ‘Naruto, don’t you die’.

So it’s pretty much Sasuke saying to Naruto, ‘I’ll protect you, You protect everyone’

But why the village?? Why will Sasuke die for Konoha which caused him so much pain?? I know anti-konoha stans wont like this, but that’s the reality.

It seems many Sasuke fans never paid attention to his character. After hearing the story from all the Hokages, Sasuke said, ‘I will not let Itachi’s life and this village into nothing’. He really meant it. Because for Sasuke, Itachi was more precious. Itachi died saying, ‘I’ll have protected my village as Uchiha Itachi of Konoha once again. I have no more regrets’. Sasuke wanted to respect his brother’s wish finally and that’s why he openly claimed in the battlefield, ‘I am going to protect Konoha and become it’s Hokage’. Sasuke’s another precious person is Naruto. He is the Hokage now.

Don’t you think Sasuke will die protecting something Itachi and Naruto values so much??

He even claimed it openly in Boruto Manga. ‘I would die anytime for Konoha, as has your dad (Naruto)’

Sasuke even said to Boruto, “I will stop you even if I have to kill you”. And do you think Sasuke is just pouring out some empty words??? Sasuke will not let Boruto to turn into an Otsutsuki monster and destroy the village.

Like I said, Sasuke will go out first. And eventually Naruto will follow him. Or they both die protecting the village together. I don’t see them dying for their wives or children. Because, their relationship with their family is not too strong and their ambitions are far beyond their own families.

Maybe for this reason, Kishi is trolling NH and SS in Boruto. LOL.

Naruto’s bond with Sasuke was formed even before his birth, when Kushina asked the 3 month old Baby Sasuke to be friends with Naruto.

However, One thing is for sure. One will not live very long without the Other or Both will die together. That’s how their bond should end.

#naruto analysis #ask #sasuke uchiha #naruto #naruto uzumaki #sasuke

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cadaceus · 3 years

Text

C2E141

One last time, y’all. This campaign and these characters have meant so much to me, and this seven hour finale was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. (Yes, I shed actual tears at one point, which rarely happens to me with media. But this is a special occasion.) These liveblogs are nearly as long as the episode itself, so grab a snack! With that being said, here are my very last liveblogs for Campaign 2 of Critical Role. As always, major spoilers below, so beware.

- Veth taking a level in Wizard, god I am really gonna cry ten minutes into this thing... 😭

- We got our first “stay with us” to Essek, I am emo...

- I was fully not expecting to say goodbye to Frumpkin, but now I’m on the verge of tears... farewell dear fey friend (Marisha saying “that wasn’t supposed to be what broke me” me too me too)

- “You’re a good person.” “I could be.” “You are.”

- “I think you’re a good person” I never thought that I’d hear Beau say that about Essek and this genuinely might be what breaks me... she thinks he’s a good person.... redemption is possible.... maybe love is real....

- If I end up crying over wizards, look away

- Jester lifting up Fjord’s arm to snuggle beneath it made me say “awww” out loud 🥺

- VETH GOING FOR A DIP IN THE POND, I AM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF HER

- “Aahhh!! It’s me! Your wife!” I am going to miss Jester’s sending so much

- Okay that accent bit was so funny, I am going to miss all of them so much

- REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK

- Oh but he doesn’t remember them... and Yasha is trying so hard to help him remember, it’s so so sweet

- Something about the way he said “Tealeaf’s nice” made me tear up... I was neutral on Mollymauk early campaign because I went into things knowing that he passed away, but this whole conversation with the Mighty Nein is So Much. Also “Kingsley Tealeaf”

- “Everyone should have a brother” as someone with three of them, I vouch for this 🥺

- a) I love Marion Lavorre (and Jester ofc!) so very much and b) I can’t believe that Jester’s parent trap actually worked??

- “I do not think Exandria is ready for how you’re going to change it” got to me... and it’s also so true. jester has already changed the world just by being kind.

- Good bye Marion... I love and will miss you so much! (And many thanks to Laura and Matt for creating an agoraphic single mother who raised a wonderful child <3)

- Beau and Jester teasing Marion for having a complicated relationship with Babenon reminds me of Caleb saying he has a complicated relationship with Essek...

- LEAVE CALEB ALON E FUOIKJLKGKNL

- THIS IS ....... SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

- Caleb’s biggest trauma(s) coming back to haunt him, I am genuinely going to cry I’m not ready for this I’m not okay

- Beau saying to Jester “Thanks, cutie” I love themmmmm

- INITIATIVE AAGJASKHDKJ AAAAAHHHH

- Essek’s Gravity Sinkhole did nothing? uhhhhh Mr Stark...

- EADWULF???? HELLO?????

- Essek using his entire turn to save Caleb last battle 🤝 Caleb using his entire turn to save Essek this battle

- ASTRID???? I TRUSTED YOU??? WE ALL TRUSTED YOU????

- Another Counterspell chain sdfdghjkdl wizards !!!

- “It’s just business” is literally the Neutral Evil line, it always gives me chills when any character says it

- This hurts more after Liam confirming on Twitter that Astrid/Caleb/Eadwulf were all three a romantic item... please stop hurting Caleb, you loved him 😭

- THE FJORD VS EADWULF SWORD FIGHT IS SO CINEMATIC I LOVE IT HERE ACTUALLY

- Essek taking every opportunity to pull Caleb to safety makes me so emotional... 😭

- “You’re not the first student I’ve had to put down” I am burning with my anger for you, old man

- THE DISPEL WORKED LET’S GO CALEB.....

- Remember when Matt said that Essek doesn’t openly show concern/emotion? And now he’s saying “I’m scared” in front of his closest friends and his worst enemies.... growth my love.....

- BEAU AND VETH LETS GO CHAOS CREW LETS MF GO BABEYYYY!!!

- FJORD COUNTERSPELLING THE DIMENSION DOOR..... and Matt having him describe it.... is this taking the place of a “HDYWTDT” *eyes emoji*

- CALEB GOING DOWN NO, THANK GOD FOR THAT DEATH WARD

- Veth’s illusion of Caleb’s parents flanking Caleb in the flames.... that got me too, Liam

- “Stay down.” yeah, okay, that was sexy

- ASTRID BEING THE ONE TO ACTIVATE THE COLLAR IS LITERALLY POETIC JUSTICE... Trent being beaten by the student who stuck with him longest I love this so much, she deserved that moment honestly

- Break Time, AKA Emma Makes Her Weekly Mug Brownie Interlude

- Sometimes I feel like “death is too good for you” is a copout, but in this case it fits so well, I want this mf’s reputation destroyed and the entire operation exposed and overthrown let’s goooo

- “I loved you both so much”.... Astrid and Eadwulf walking away.... oh, Blumendrei... I know this is not the end of your story. What’s past is prologue, loves

- The Empire Siblings are gonna burn down the whole system because it’s the system that enables individual corruption... I am so fulfilled by this, god i love them

- “I love you too” OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, FJORESTER ARE THE CUTEST FOR REAL

- Jester and Essek’s friendship still means so much to me btw just in case anyone wanted a check-in

- Veth giving the flask to Kingsley!! Good for her, good for her!

- OH Blumenduo are back already! I truly thought that was going to be their last appearance of the Campaign, why is this taking me more by surprise than Trent’s appearance

- “[Caleb] notes how similar Eadwulf and Fjord are” this is Widofjord adjacent... this episode we have gotten Widomauk-adjacent, Widojest-adjacent, and Widofjord-adjacent (and Blumentrio ofc), now come through Shadowgast and we can get a full Bingo on the “Bisexual Maelstrom” card

- Speaking of relationships, I am lowkey into the Fjord/Jester/Kingsley dynamic LOL no one look at me I’m in hiding

- I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO VETH AND CAD 😭 It makes sense and the fact that they have their families back is beautiful but also consider this: I’m sad and I will miss them

- The goodbyes to Caduceus..... I am going to cry aren’t I?

- “If he’s anything like his mom, you won’t see him until it’s too late” Okay that made me giggle, I love Veth and I love Luc and I love their little family

- IS ESSEK LEAVING TOO? THAT’S GONNA BE WHAT BREAKS ME ISN’T IT

- If Essek leaves and we never see him again, getting a triple whammy of goodbyes I will be so incredibly sad, I cannot do this 😭

- If anyone is interested, no I am not doing well

- I was lowkey ready to get an Essek’s feelings for Caleb confirmation tonight, I guess it makes sense that we didn’t but I hope that this is not the last time we see Essek... I want to write another emo post about him and about how much he means to me but I will refrain

- CALEB BEING A TEACHER IS THE ENDGAME I WANT FOR HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- Wow, I really was not ready to see Caduceus and Essek go for some reason... I really wanted this Campaign to end on the image of the Mighty Nein together as all nine of them... I’m feeling so numb right now having to say goodbye 😭

- Oh, we’re in the epilogue now!

- When Fjord said “[the sea] is my favorite place to be” I genuinely felt that on a spiritual level... the ocean is home, it truly is and always will be for me as well

- “I CAST MODIFY MEMORY” FJORD LMAOOOOOOO

- Okay, that Widobrave ending is what made me shed tears for the first time this episode... not to be Personal but my biological brother graduates High School tomorrow, and for some reason this conversation just reminded me so much of me and him and now I’m emotional

- NOT THE SYPHILIS BANDITS DSYUHDFJKLSFJ;DS OKAY I NEEDED THAT LAUGH

- “I’d like to hear about your friend” Kingsley aww

- Beau giving Kingsley her first diary to help him realize who they all are is actually so perfectly fitting, I love that!

- “The other eight and I, yes” Caleb counting all nine of them again 😭

- CALEB BEING OFFERED AN ASSEMBLY SEAT WTF AAAHHH

- Oh shit, Astrid took the Assembly seat... I’m not sure how I feel about this, I feel so bad for her for having to stay in the system that abused her for so long and I would have loved to see her burn the whole thing down, but I hope that she at least has a sense of contentment with this title

- “I go where you go, baby” Beauyasha.... my darling loves....

- Beau’s dad??? But also Beau being the one with power over her father is so Good, I’m glad that she got justice on that front as well!

- This talk with Artagan... “I didn’t want you to be a god. I wanted you to be my friend.” and in the process my love you created divinity... maybe divinity is the friends we made along the way

- OH SHIT WE ARE GETTING ALL THE VANDRAN LORE TONIGHT I’M READY LET’S GO LET’S GO

- VANDRAN AND AVANTIKA WERE AN ITEM???

- Wait crack theory: Sabian was a half elf right? Could he be the son of Vandren and Avantika? Or is that too much of a stretch?

- Vandran going with them!!! Also I feel like that moment between Fjord and Vandran was lowkey a tease to a post-campain Uk’otoa one shot and I am ready for it already

- THIS BEAUYASHA MOMENT... “i’ve never known anyone as deeply as i know you” & “explore every bit of you in multiple ways ;)” & “your past doesn’t scare me, it only makes you beautiful” .... this is so much they are so much i love them so much

- “I will have you and then some” Beauyasha 😭

- I’m torn between “oh my god there’s still half an hour left?” and “how is there only half an hour left??”

- “You will let this Skyspear live at least?” oh my god so Yasha killed the last Skyspear then? Oof...

- YASHA GIVING ZUALA(’S GRAVE) THE BOOK OF FLOWERS, OH DEAR HEART

- And Beau’s talk to Zuala about being the luckiest woman alive and sacrifice.... 😭

- PLANTING FLOWERS AT ZUALA’S GRAVE... “NO BETTER GRAVE MARKER” THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL, I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A LOT THIS EPISODE BUT THIS TRULY IS SO BEAUTIFUL

- So... I may or may not be crying again

- Shadowgast with a steel chair??

- Caleb’s plan for saving his parents... it’s clear he has thought of this so much, oh my darling love 😭

- Caleb burning down his chance to change his past is so symbolic and something he really needed to do, it does make me emotional though

- The other book was him writing to his parents?? Oh bby boy 😭

- While I would have loved for Caleb to open his own magic school (especially with Essek, or the Mighty Nein, or someone else as well), I am so pleased that he stays with Veth and that their friendship continues for the rest of their life because again: they mean so so much to me, and in a way they remind me of me and my biological brother (which I never realized before this episode) and yeah. They just make me Emo

- Also. Caleb being a professor was my Number One Endgame Hope for him and the fact that it came true is just so surreal in the best way possible. I’m so used to being robbed of happy endings. The fact that the Mighty Nein all got theirs makes me incredibly happy. A story does not have to be sad to be impactful. Happy stories and happy endings, especially during a time period of tumultuous real life circumstances, have just as much value and meaning and they always will. Caleb is teaching the next generation magic, and he is teaching them to be Good, and he is nurturing them, and that just means so much

- MATT CRYING IS GONNA GET TO ME

- “Let’s do it again” Please, let’s.

- Okay, everyone. I made it all seven hours in one piece with surprisingly minimal tears (though who knows, this might all sink in tomorrow.) I already wrote my thoughts earlier today about how much the Mighty Nein mean to me and how much this show and these characters have kept me holding on during quarantine and today... I’m still not ready to let them go, but I know that I can always revisit to say hello and to say thank you for changing me. Until then though... I love you all more than you could ever know. And for the last time of Campaign 2... is it Thursday yet?

Good night 💗

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c2e141 #critical role #my liveblogs #cr2 #i genuinely can't believe this is the end y'all... what a journey. what a freaking journey 💗#to anyone who has ever interacted with even one of my liveblogs: i love you and i think about you every damn day dfghjkflf #it makes me Emo knowing that i'm not just speaking to the void and that there are ppl out there listening etc #also this liveblog was TWO THOUSAND WORDS LONG i checked it in a google doc sgdhjkdl #so if you made it through all that you may be entitled to financial compensation #but in all seriousness: i love you mighty nein. and thank you for everything.#is it thursday yet?#queue #(i always queue these for the mornings dgfhjk!)#and yes i WILL be liveblogging campaign 3 #also mayhaps this hiatus will be time for me to catch up with vox machina?

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hyena-frog · 4 years

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Makes me so sad to think about how Cassius raised Lysander for 10 YEARS and came to love him like a brother and likely put a ton of effort into being a decent role model only for Lysander to turn around and become exactly like Octavia..... like can you imagine what must be going through Cassius’ head when he flies over Lysander at the end of DA.. :( seeing the kid he raised to adulthood become a monster.. I just... ugh. It tears me up inside

Hoo boy, I hope you’re prepared for the essay I’m about to write.

Genuinely, I think about this all the time. Cassius and Lysander have one of the most complex, tragic relationships the second trilogy has to offer. I hated Cassius so much after Golden Son but now he’s one of my favorite characters. I would really love it if he is the new POV Pierce Brown promised. In the second trilogy, Cassius has been exclusively filtered through Lysander’s POV, so I’m dying to know his own thoughts on everything that has happened. (But I would also like a Volga POV for the Obsidian story and maybe Diomedes POV for the Rim perspective. I’m torn.) I just want Cassius to have a happy ending. And I hate Lysander, but I would really like for him to see eye to eye with Cassius at least once before he is horribly, painfully, rightfully murdered.

Now, the thing is, Cassius didn’t come to love Lysander as a brother over time, he already loved him when he decided to become his guardian and mentor. It bugged me that, at the end of Morning Star, it didn’t feel like Cassius’ decision to take in Lysander was justified enough. All we really got out of him was that Lysander reminded him of Julian. Pretty flimsy. Then Iron Gold came along and blessed us with a flashback to when they first met. Little Lysander wasn’t too impressed with Cassius (he wasn’t exactly as respectable post Red Rising as he is now) but Cassius quickly went from calling Lysander an “eerie little creature” to declaring “I’ve decided to like you, little moon boy.” From that moment, Cassius truly cared for Lysander. Reading that flashback again after Dark Age makes me so emotional.

Lysander has this complex about being Julian’s replacement, that Cassius doesn’t love him so much as he loves the shadow of Julian he sees in him. And he’s justified, in a way, because Cassius does slip up and call him Julian sometimes, but it’s usually when he’s delirious from pain and not thinking clearly. Lysander completely misses the fact that Cassius does love him. I guess he doesn’t have much experience recognizing when he’s genuinely cared for, because why would he, but there is plenty of evidence of Cassius’ true feelings.

For example, Cassius sold most of his remaining family possessions to keep them afloat on the Archimedes. Now, Cassius isn’t strapped for cash by any means but the fact he cares for Lysander (and Pytha) enough to sell many of the last reminders of his dead family that he owns, is very telling. But Lysander doesn’t think about that. He acknowledges that it happened but doesn’t consider the deeper, emotional meaning behind that action.

Another example is Cassius opening up to Lysander about the last time he ever saw his father. How he disappointed Tiberius but finally regained his respect, only for the entire Bellona family to be slaughtered shortly after that reconciliation. That was a sign that he loves and trusts Lysander enough to be vulnerable with him. He never told that story to anyone else, as far as we know. He believed he was going to die in the Bleeding Place and wanted that memory of his father to live on in Lysander. The fact that Lysander is blind to how Cassius genuinely loves him, even now, is tragic.

You’re right, Cassius did try to be a good role model and pass on good morals. I think the scene in Dark Age, where Pytha confesses that Cassius forbade her from revealing to Lysander that she is actually a soldier and not a disgraced commercial pilot, as he was lead to believe, was very telling. Cassius attempted to show Lysander life outside of politics and war. He tried to show him that all Colors are equals deserving of respect. Cassius was devastated when Lysander chose to save Seraphina over the many mid- and low-color prisoners on the Vindabona. He was horrified that Lysander chose “quality” of life saved over quantity. This coming from Cassius, who compared Pinks to animals in Red Rising. Cassius has learned and changed a lot since the first book and he tried to pass those lessons onto Lysander. But it didn’t stick. Not even after 10 years of teaching.

Unfortunately, his teachings were tainted by his bad coping mechanisms for his personal demons. His alcoholism, his continued pining for Virginia, combined with his betrayal of Octavia and involvement in Aja's brutal murder, gave Lysander enough excuses to never fully embrace his lessons. While Lysander did love Cassius, there was always some flaw or another in his teacher that allowed him to comfortably distance himself from the lessons that diverged from Octavia’s teachings. To be honest, Cassius had no business taking on a ward while he was so torn up inside. Keeping Lysander isolated in a tin can in the middle of space for 10 years, instead of living among diverse people, didn’t do him any favors either. Frankly, Cassius missed a lot of red flags. A big one is the fact Lysander carved Lux ex tenebris, the Lune family motto, into the ceiling of his room on the Archimedes, where he could stare up at it every night. Yikes.

This dissonance in Lysander’s thinking is what lead to his betrayal in the Bleeding Place. Yes, Lysander loves Cassius and wanted to save his life rather than see him die at the hands of people who don’t respect him. But he also genuinely believes in the inherent hierarchy of Octavia’s teachings, that the “true order” is for Cassius to follow him. If Cassius lives, if he can convince him that his rightful place is to follow Lysander, things can finally be right in the worlds. Cassius failed to express his feelings in a way Lysander can comprehend, so he felt he was just a replacement for Julian. Lysander can dismiss Cassius’ love as love for his dead twin, and in turn, he can dismiss his claim to believe in the inherent equality of humankind as guilt and justification for killing his Sovereign. Cassius was unable to truly see how badly he failed until he was betrayed.

Since Cassius was absent for most of the plot following his “death” it’s difficult to concretely say what he’s been thinking since then. But I’ve been thinking a lot about him, so here is my conjecture. Take it with a grain of salt.

That moment you mention, when Cassius flies overhead, he deliberately retracted his helmet for a brief moment of eye contact with Lysander, so he would know exactly who rescued Darrow... Shivers. So much left unsaid. I imagine Cassius was thinking a lot of things in that moment. On the one hand, some pettiness and anger at being betrayed: “I lived bitch, I rescued Darrow, this is where my loyalties lie.” But there was also probably a mixture of shock and guilt at knowing what Lysander has done, at who he’s sided with and enabled, but also at seeing evidence of physical suffering in Lysander's burn scar and blind eye. Cassius loved Lysander, he was his guardian for 10 years, so he would hate to see him hurt. I think he would feel responsible for Lysander’s actions on some level, even if he logically understands that he’s an adult who makes his own choices.

Regardless, Cassius probably blames himself on some level. That’s what I think anyway. He tried his best to teach this kid good morals for an entire decade only for him to cling to the ideals his grandmother taught him. That has to sting. It’s probably also embarrassing, to a degree. Cassius made this grand promise to Darrow that he’d raise Lysander right, that Sevro was wrong to suggest they should have just killed him when he was little. Now Cassius’ failure to make good on that promise has been advertised to the whole Solar System through Lysander’s actions on Mercury. Surely Cassius feels responsible.

Cassius had a lot of time to think during his long return trip to the Core. About what happened with Lysander in the Rim, about his lingering feelings for Virginia, about his place in the Republic, and about what he really considers the right thing to do. Cassius can be intensely empathetic when he allows himself to be. For example, in Morning Star, he managed to really sympathize with Darrow’s life when they were drinking whiskey together. I’m willing to bet he spent that long return journey considering Lysander’s perspective with a clear head, after spending so many years lost in the haze of his own sorrows. Now that he is out of that bad mental place, he is likely able to see where he made mistakes in how he raised Lysander.

It will make for an interesting confrontation between Cassius and Darrow, who is thoroughly, understandably, done with Lysander, when the time comes to kill him. Cassius knows the danger Lysander poses and probably won’t argue against killing him this time, but I do think he would resist a little and at least try to find an alternative solution.

Lastly, I just want to say this, since it’s sort of relevant: This fandom tends to agree that Sevro should have just killed Lysander as a child, but if I’m being honest, I don’t agree. Kill Lysander now, as an adult, by all means, but as a kid he hadn’t done anything wrong yet, even if he was a little creepy. Darrow was right to give him the chance to live in peace. Too bad he ultimately didn’t take it. I especially don’t think Cassius would agree killing Lysander as a kid was the right choice, even now. He is traumatized by the sudden loss of most of his family, including little kids, so I don’t think he’d ever agree to killing a child. If he could somehow go back in time, knowing what he knows now, I think he would make the same choice to raise Lysander. In that scenario, I think he would rather try to fix the mistakes he made as a mentor, rather than punish Lysander.

Guh. Anyway. I had a lot of words in me about this subject. Hope you got something out of it! I’m consistently amazed by how Pierce Brown’s writing compels me to think deeply about these characters. Not to mention his ability to make me understand Lysander’s perspective even if I don’t like it or agree with it. Cassius’ perspective though... well, half of this post is just me guessing, so we’ll have to see how close I am to canon when book 6 comes out. Thanks for reading!

#cassius au bellona #lysander au lune #red rising #morning star #iron gold #dark age #iron gold trilogy #dark age spoilers #roboticscales #my post

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mc-critical · 3 years

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I really don’t understand the amount of people who apparently dislike Mihrimah for not giving Rüstem a chance/not having Rüstem grow on her. I don’t know entirely how I feel about Mihrimah as a character but I feel like if you were to dislike her that’d be a silly reason. It was a opportunistic marriage, one she never wanted and to a man she never loved. Not to mention he was also borderline pedophilic (when he said to her on her wedding night that he had been “waiting for this moment for years” when she was 17..okay) and then coercing her into consumating the marriage through the threat of suicide. Sure, the circumstances of Rüstem’s life were sad, but I don’t understand how that entails him being *entitled* to Mihrimah’s love or affection. And if anything I found Rüstem to be misogynistic and possibly even abusive, which likely made marriage to him all the worse. Mihrimah’s definitely not perfect or above criticism, but that doesn’t mean she owed any man love, sex or affection, royal borne woman or not.

I don't understand them, either. Because this is the last thing Mihrimah should be disliked for.

Rüstem is a very odious character with minimal redeeming qualities. His supposed love for Mihrimah is established disturbingly early on and while that may have fled over the audience's heads (it sure did fly over my head when I first watched the show!) because their marriage is a historical fact and as such, is automatically considered the normal course of things - the questionable pedophilic implications are definitely there and send off the alarming signs of utterly problematic behavior. Sure, he's done his duty by saving her after she fell off a horse and (little!) Mihrimah thanked him for it, but it is clearly seen in his eyes by the second episode he's on-screen that there's something more and something baffling when the girl is so young. And it only escalated from there.

Obviously, most of his fanbase ignores or flat out misses this aspect of his character, but I also find people that think that his attitude to Mihrimah is the only bad thing about Rüstem when I find most of his negative traits to be present outside of Mihrimah, but with her witnessing them. I feel the connection to Iskender Çelebi and the way he bacame the stable-man of the castle are his most important character establishing moments: they shine a light into his sneakiness and ability to play dirty, but also reveal his immediate prejudice against Ibrahim. The ambition, similar to Hürrem's, but not for the same reasons, is set up from the get-go. He's seemingly following Iskender, just like he comes to seemigly follow Hürrem, but he always forges his own path for his own gain. His alleged "loyalty" is the thing that Rüstem usually gets the most credit for, but while he begins to look like Hürrem's loyal companion that shall fulfill her every order, this whole facade is deconstructed and ultimately, totally broken apart in S04. His character establishing moments recontextualize all the decisions he makes in that season and show the true nature of his ambition: he followed Hürrem when she prevailed over everyone, he followed her when she seemingly gave him the world and all the desired power and when she and the one she wanted for the throne were put into a disadvantaged position and Selim got the upper hand, he ran straight for the opportunity, despite of him making an oath in front of the Quran not to do that. He turns out to be simply an opportunist hyena who works only for his own gain. Nothing more. Just like he saw the opportunity to get rid of the stable-man before him in the past, now he sees the opportunity to be on the winning side again with Selim. He doesn't care who is he in front of and who he promised what, as long as they're of no use to him, he bails. His "loyalty" immediately disappears from his positive traits, because it turns out he never had it in the first place. People praise him for his loyalty for Mihrimah, but that "loyalty" also lasted so long - when he found out that she wouldn't ever come to love him, he began to bang with Gracia Mendez, in conjunction with the betrayal of what Hürrem stood up for. Now, tell me, how can Mihrimah love such a guy? That was one of the only reasons she tolerated him and when even that was lost, how can she still keep her ties with him?

[His backstory is sad indeed, but the only thing it does is put his actions into perspective, not justify them or make him likeable somehow. Especially when what that "character lore dump" specifically explains is his refusal to tell Nigar where her daughter is - the backstory makes that action logical for his character, but it's still framed as nothing short of spiteful. That said, he still does have some soft sides and the arc with his brother is where I found him the most sympathetic - this is the time Rüstem actually showed vulnerability without false alarms or disguise and his brother was probably the only thing that was precious to him and stayed precious after all these years, consistently throughout his screentime. What helps even more, is the brother's role as a moral compass and the last bridge between the past/his loyalties and the future/the victories he would achieve through opportunism. That was the last gasp of what was left of his possible humanity and after his brother was killed, he let it go almost instantly, because... well, after he willingly chose his own life in the saray, he might as well continue to live it, right? Him saving a boy in S03 without any hesitation whatsoever, was also respectable. But these demonstrations of a softer side of his being are also taking place outside of Mihrimah, but with her not witnessing them altogether. And they do little in changing the general impression of Rüstem's character and his relationship with Mihrimah.]

We have to keep in mind that Mihrimah's whole S03 arc was finding purpose in her life and finding true love. She had many love stories throughout the series with different people, different personalities and different motives to try to make it work with them. No matter what they've went through together and despite of them all having the same outcomes due to different outside (and inside) factors, there is a reason she fell for these people in the first place. Okay, while for Bali Bey it was a bizarre, puppy, immature, childish love, for Taşlicalı something truly genuine began to flourish with all the glances, poems, dedication (Mahidevran succeeded to break them up, but it's not to be denied that Taşlicalı was very hard to convince and he was still thinking of her afterwards) and sweet words. She got a call for a new adventure with him. Bali Bey, on the other hand, was adored by her mostly for his handsomeness, I feel, but even when he tore all her dreams apart, he showed tact and respect. What I mean to say is, if Rüstem has qualities that are "worthy of Mihrimah", wouldn't she see them? Wouldn't she see all these virtues? Because all she sees before the marriage are his words that she will marry him, that she will be his and that's it. The best she sees of him is his good manners when he asks her whether she wants something or stuff, but he could do that with everyone else, knowing his post, and the previous implications make even that alone head scratching. Why would she want a man like that? I agree with all your points. Are you, people, denying Mihrimah her feelings? She realized the potential advantages of this marriage and agreed to do it regardless, why does she have to come to love him when he truly gives her no real reasons to, even before she married him?

I believe Rüstem cares about Mihrimah, albeit in his own distorted, toxic way, but in reality, he didn't do her any good. His relationship with Mihrimah revels in manipulation and facades for her to keep, because she has to "protect" her brothers. Rüstem never actually took account of her own feelings or opinions on matters, especially when what she proposed wasn't an opportunistic enough option for him to afford. Their interactions are mostly focused on the survival of the game and the actions that have to be taken to achieve that. He often puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on her, which while given because of the system they live in, hurt more than it helped. Their relationship was never allowed to flourish in a healthy manner and Mihrimah could never be truly herself in it, not even for a moment. The castle she lived in, her home, was merely full of tension every day, not a source of comfort. His stoic, serious cunning contrasts with her own spirit. Not to mention that it always seemed he considered his marriage to Mihrimah as a price, a goal he had finally achieved and I doubt that she wasn't aware of it to some extent. The root of the marriage is only political opportunism and no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot force a person to love someone they're with only out of sheer necessity, only for a purpose for "the greater good". Rüstem never did anything to earn Mihrimah's love and she shouldn't be hated for not loving him. This is what MC Rüstem is as a character, whether we like it or not, and he isn't a healthy person for Mihrimah. If she couldn't warm up to him when she fully got to know him in their alone time, that means something is missing. That means he just isn't for her and. that's. OKAY.

But there may be reasons why some people could dislike Mihrimah because of it. I offer my experience with cases I've encountered in forums: these people are usually very invested in Hürrem's character to the point they view everything she does as excusable, at the least, so of course they would want to justify Hürrem marrying Mihrimah to Rüstem. But plainly selfish political gain is no justification and that may leave cracks in their view of Hürrem and it all may disturb them to a great amount. That's why they channel this ire on Mihrimah and perhaps demand for her to warm up to Rüstem, so they get the justification Hürrem supposedly deserves, especially paralleled with Valide and Mahidevran's previous attempt to marry Aybige and Mustafa, who.. surprise, surprise (but not really), didn't love each other. There's another facet to this, with people seeing or wanting to see Mihri only as "her mother's daughter" and not wanting to marry, not loving Rüstem destroys that picture, because there's a "crack in the system", she doesn't listen to her mother, who obviously knows better and that could be disappointing or demotivating, given the expectations she has set when she defended her in E84. Or maybe they dislike Mihrimah for not loving Rüstem, because they do find something in him. They love "bad boys" and genuinely don't know why Mihrimah doesn't, either and that could make them see her as an annoyance. Or maybe they just anticipate more juicy scenes between her and Rüstem because of the probable chemistry between the two actors and if they watch it only for the spectacle (believe me, such people really exist!), they may insist that Mihrimah is only spoiled and ruined everything for them. Or maybe, again, people may find this insulting to the historical facts or whatnot and if Mihrimah didn't not stand him, this "mess" of writing could be fixed a little. The writers have ruined her character along with the history, according to them. It's absurd, I know and I don't get it, either, but the reasons are there, as far as I'm concerned. That still doesn't take away from the fact that this is the weirdest accusation you could throw at Mihrimah, with how Rüstem himself is.

You're right that Mihrimah has many other, vastly more offputting traits that she could be disliked for. Little Mihrimah is very brash and spoiled and entitled, to the point she gave her own mother a run for her money. That was gone when she grew up, but it would be understandable if some didn't actually believe the change, especially when she shows this side of hers again every now and then. She could be perceptive, but could also be prone to influence at the same time, sometimes to an annoying degree. There have been times where she has let her own bias lead her and that clouded her judgement in several occasions. She came to idealize her mother too much sometimes, as well. She was terribly insistent on her infatuation with Bali Bey and letting go of it took her very long. She didn't want to listen much to the enemies of her own mother. Her huge love for Bayezid prevented her from viewing Selim as objectively. She could be vengeful. She could be bossy. She couldn't fully face someone calling her out on her mistakes. (the confrontation with Selim in E139) She became so engrained to her castle life that when she was offered a way out, she didn't follow it. All these are very interesting character flaws for me, but I get why they might be a dealbreaker. But disliking or hating her for not loving Rüstem? Heck, hating her for her contribution to Mustafa's death alone is more valid than that! Disliking her for all these flaws piling up together is perfectly reasonable. But for this? It's strange.

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #mihrimah sultan #rustem pasha #ask #stuffandthangs

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pandoraborn · 4 years

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Cruelty of the Beast - Part 6

( previous. )

Characters: c!Tommy, c!Wilbur Word count: 1896 words Content: wilbur soot & tommyinnit are siblings, reference to abuse, reference to torture, reference to death, healing, wilbur makes amends,

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Wilbur’s walking too fast for Tommy to keep up, he has to actually jog just to remain a step or two behind the man. It’s not hard to figure out where they’re going; they’re easily headed for some beach.

Tommy doesn’t want to be here. He wants to at least stay in the cabin if he’s to stay put anywhere, but Wilbur had given him a shovel and an axe and told Tommy to follow. There’s never much of a choice with an order like that.

Wilbur also hasn’t spoken to Tommy in close to an hour now. The trek is long, but it’s also a torture all on its own. Tommy doesn’t do well with silence, fearing that Wilbur is silently judging him or sizing him up. He feels very much like he’s marching toward his own demise.

He very well may be.

Keeping his gaze down, Tommy tightens his grip on the handle of the shovel, trying to keep focused on staying right behind Wilbur, ignoring how much his legs are hurting.They’re passing by abandoned portals, portals they could easily light. The idea that there would be paths waiting for them on the other side is a far-fetched idea though; they’re too far out from any sort of civilization.

After what feels like forever, Wilbur finally stops. Tommy stops next to him, peering out at the water. It’d be so easy to craft a boat and sail out toward escape, but that would just be more isolation and loneliness. The potential escape isn’t worth that.

“Grab as much sand as you can carry in your inventory,” Wilbur explains. “We’re going to have to make another trip, possibly to a desert, but this is good enough.” He offers Tommy a smile. It’s reminiscent of the old Wilbur, the one that ran L’Manburg with all the pride and charisma he used to possess. There are shades of it again, but not enough to induce an illusion that this is good. Nothing about this situation is good. Ranboo and Dream had also disappeared some time ago, and there’s no telling when they’ll be back.

“What are we grabbing sand for?” Tommy asks to fill the silence. He’s already at work, grabbing sand and filing it away into his backpack. It’s messy and coarse, already getting into his shoes. “This already sucks.”

"Explosives,” comes the casual reply. Too casual for Tommy’s liking. He’d already had an idea, but the fact that Wilbur wants them both to fill their inventories, and then make a second trip scares Tommy. Narrowing his eyes, he pauses in his digging to lean against the shovel.

“Why are you doing this Wilbur? Why do you and Dream want to hurt everyone so bad? Why am I even here?”

“Instead of me answering those questions, can I ask you a few questions instead?” Wilbur too pauses, pressing his hands together as he studies Tommy with a pensive expression. “Please, be as honest with me as possible, alright?”

“No promises.” A nod signals for Wilbur to go ahead, however.

“Are you happy with your life right now?”

It’s a very pointed question that has Tommy flinching back. Instinct would have him deflecting or changing the subject entirely, but Wilbur looks like he’s waiting patiently for an answer. This isn’t the revived Wilbur, this is the one that had been Tommy’s closest friend for the longest time... brothers, even.

Part of him is tempted to lie, but that would be pointless. They’d talked endlessly in the void, with Tommy bitching every moment he could about how unfair his life had become. Wilbur knows him far too well.

“No,” Tommy finally mutters, turning away. “I’m not happy, but you knew that.”

“Is there anyone, any single person you trust and want to go back to?”

Tommy thinks of Tubbo, then of Puffy. He and Tubbo are still too awkward around each other, not having had a proper conversation since the final showdown with Dream. Sure they’d spoken a few times, but nothing deeper than arguments over where to live.

Puffy had made some promises, but he doesn’t know her from Sam, and Sam had broken his promise completely. With his shoulders slumping, Tommy shakes his head. Everything about this conversation is fucked up, and they both know it.

“Are you afraid of me?” Wilbur’s not ending his line of questioning anytime soon. This is the one question Tommy doesn’t really want to answer.

“Yes.”

“I see.” Wilbur falls silent as he turns away, going back to the task of gathering sand into his own backpack. The silence stretches between them, and Tommy feels it like a cold sweat on his back. It’s just as piercing as Wilbur’s questions, just as numbing as the afterlife. Silent, too, if the ringing in his ears is anything to go by. Even the lapping of the waves isn’t enough to snap him back to reality.

“Do you remember when we were younger?” Wilbur finally asks. The silence doesn’t snap Tommy back, but Wilbur’s voice does. Always a source of calm, always there to keep him grounded. It’s aggravating, this effect Wilbur has over him. Annoying and comforting at the same time.

“I don’t remember much anymore, Wilbur,” Tommy responds. “I remember wars and death and everything I worked for going up in smoke.”

“You don’t remember you and me?” Wilbur’s facing him again, wearing that ugly serene smile on his face. “You don’t remember how I used to read to you?”

“Vaguely.” It’s a dismissive answer, because Tommy wants to squash anything friendly out of his mind. The less he associates with Wilbur, the sooner they can end this game and he can go back home to his dirt house. “That was a long time ago, Wil.”

“It was our favorite activity.” Wilbur actually sounds sad. Tommy can’t tell if it’s acting or genuine, but he��s being drawn in anyway. Part of him wants to throw his arms around Wilbur and comfort him. A strong, loud part of him is already moving closer.

“I remember our favorite book was ‘The Hobbit’,” Wilbur continues. “I also read the Lord of the Rings trilogy to you a couple of times. You were so cute, hanging on every word. Simple times, Tommy. The best times.”

“I don’t have any best times,” Tommy snaps. “Like I said, I remember lots of wars. Lots of fighting and people dying. You died. I died, and now you kidnapped me. Why are you trying to butter me up? Wilbur this is so fucked.”

“I know. I messed up Toms. I messed up so many times, especially with you. Even now, I know what I did was cruel and stupid. I promise, if you give me one more chance, I’ll make it all up to you. No more pain, no more agony. You’ll have a support system-”

“Do I have to remind you of Dream?” Tommy snarls. His voice cracks as he speaks. “He’s the one who fucking killed me, remember? He had me exiled, he tortured me. And you come in like you know exactly what all took place!”

“Tommy I was dead. Had I been able to stop him, I would have. You know I would never condone anyone hurting you. I don’t like that you’ve been hurt the way you have been. I hate it more than anyone, trust me!”

“You still died and left me alone. If you weren’t so selfish, neither of us would be in this position! My life went to shit ever since you died, you don’t get to stand there and tell me you hate it.”

“I wasn’t good for the server. I wasn’t good for you. I thought that if I was gone, things for you would improve. I thought you would’ve won, that Dream wouldn’t have hurt you, or that your friendships would be strained.”

“Stop, stop!” This is embarrassing. Tommy’s crying, standing there in front of Wilbur and sounding like a petulant child. “Stop talking! Stop making me relive everything, okay? You weren’t there, you don’t get to act like you know what happened. It was shit. Everything was shit, everything is still fucking garbage, and now I’m stuck living with the one person who hurt me, thanks to you.”

“Toms. My Tommy...” Wilbur has tears of his own in his eyes. With his shovel falling into the sand, he gathers Tommy in his arms. Tommy doesn’t resist, because everything about this hug means something. It’s an actual, loving hug, and not a ploy at manipulation. He can feel it in the way Wilbur is holding him, rocking bath and forth with tiny hiccups. “Tommy I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry you were hurt and cast aside by everyone. I’m here now, alright? It’ll be me and you, just like it’s always been.”

Tommy sniffles as he leans into Wilbur. He’s not returning the embrace, but Wilbur feels so warm. It’s been so long since anyone had hugged him like this, or just loved him. He wants to savor this feeling.

“All your long years we’ve been friends,” Wilbur whispers. “Trust me as you once did.”

“You want me to let it all go?” Tommy finally wraps his arms around Wilbur. “I don’t even know what to let go of.”

“All the pain, Tommy. “All the pain, trauma, abuse. All your attachments. Even the memories. With us, you won’t hurt anymore. Dream won’t touch you, and Ranboo is your friend. I’ll be your brother, okay?”

“...let it all go...” Tommy relaxes more into Wilbur’s embrace. Slowly, his arms come up to rest against Wilbur’s back. “Let everything I had go, right?”

“I’m here again. I won’t leave you. I promise you Toms. Tommyinnit, gremlin child. Vice President, and my best friend, brother...”

“Don’t overdo it now,” Tommy jokes under his breath. It earns a chuckle from both of them. The laughter helps him feel normal, like maybe everything really will be okay. This doesn’t feel like an indoctrination, really. Wilbur isn’t evil. Maybe he’s got some misguided beliefs, but Tommy missed him. There’s no one that can fill the void in his heart like Wilbur can.

“Point is, it’s you and me against the world,” Wilbur continues. “We won’t count the other two yet, so we’ll stick with just us, alright? When all this is over, I’ll read to you again. Any book of your choosing.”

“Will you read me The Hobbit again?“ Tommy pulls back enough to blink slowly at Wilbur. His vision is still wet with tears, but he’s cheering up. “And maybe we can watch the movies together?”

“Absolutely. Anything for you, alright?”

“Then I trust you.”

“And?”

“And...I’ll stay by your side.” Tommy nods.

There are matching sighs from the pair, with them looking awkwardly at each other for a moment. Then, with a blush, Tommy picks up his shovel again and preparing to dig up more sand.

“I still don’t get why we have to do this,” Tommy grumbles.”

“Tell you what, after we get back to the cabin, I’ll let you blow up the surrounding area. You’ve earned yourself a few explosions to vent your anger.”

His excitement is barely contained, with him moving faster and shoveling even more dirt. Okay, the situation as a whole might still be fucked, but Tommy can’t resist playing with fire. As a treat.

#long post #dream smp #dream smp fanfiction #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #c!tommy #c!wilbur #cruelty of the beast #cruelty of the beast part 6 #mention of trauma #mention of abuse #mention of torture #mention of death #healing #wilbur and tommy are brothers #wilbur makes amends #tommy misses wilbur #miishae writes

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years

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i’m an idiot. i screw everything up.

Titans 3.03

still here, still doing this. these reviews take a fair bit of time that i cobble together across days (like, ten minute chunks during breaks, etc) and i tend to struggle to keep up with episodes as they come out. this means that by the time i’m done with one, most of my stuff is jossed (or geoffed in this case? idk) or outdated and the post sinks like a stone into oblivion. so! i’m going to change things up a bit with this one and write as i see the episode rather than collecting my thoughts later. in my experience with spn, that was a faster way to get them done.

anyway. let’s see how it goes! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS ahead.

1. an auspicious start with some grave-digging!

digging up a grave and breaking open a coffin is some serious, back-breaking work--that dick did it on his own, likely straight after that fight with red hood, is a testament to the sheer intensity, stamina and discipline that he’s capable of. like, we like to joke about dick cooking cauliflower crust pizzas and making gar and rachel spar and memorise sun tzu--and despair at the obvious consequences of some of bruce’s parenting skills--but imagine crime-fighting almost daily without any superpowers, performing some of the most intense parkour in bulky, uncomfortable armour, doing detective work, pushing through every last barrier of exhaustion and then getting up to repeat it all over again the next day. dick probably thought he was going extra-easy on rachel and gar.

1.5. then again, dick probably had a hundred different easier ways to confirm whether jason was still buried or not, from using equipment to merely asking connor to have a quick look with his x-ray vision. but, no, he’s too caught up in confusion and terror, not really having come to terms with jason’s death in the first place, leave alone the possibility that he could be alive after all. he can’t possibly let the others know until he’s confirmed it himself, even if it means digging all through the night until his arms are jelly, thinking over and over again about jason’s eyes, jason’s voice, from behind that red mask.

... besides, dick has good reason to believe that he could’ve been hallucinating. wouldn’t be his first psychotic episode, after all.

that just imbues this sweaty, desperate, fingers-scrabbling-in-gravedirt scene with that much more poignancy, and a fair bit of bone-chilling terror. dick is horrified to realise that jason’s grave is empty, but a part of him is also probably relieved.

1.75 (... also it’s curious that we’re never shown any of the team asking to see jason’s grave after they come to wayne manor. i guess it’s because the writers--and the audience--know that jason is actually alive, but these people don’t know that. i don’t know if it’s sad or infuriating or both that they’re barely shown mourning him.)

2. oh GOD the sheer TENSION in kory saying, “i don’t want to say it, but--” and dick quickly interrupting, “it was jason. i saw him,” and hank giving him this loaded sidelong glance. i love how dick’s precarious mental health from last season is still this big elephant in the room but at least nobody’s blowing up in his face and questioning his every decision yet

2.25. i love the relative matter-of-factness with which they’re discussing a possible resurrection. and, of course, ra’s al ghul is brought up and quickly dismissed

(still wouldn’t put it past this show to bring him up at the very last second as the real real mastermind)

2.5. “maybe they can bring donna back” OH KORY

2.75. didn’t they have this same conversation about killing/not killing rose last season? man, the og titans make me tired.

and i don’t know if it’s just hank, but there’s a definite in-group/out-group vibe going on with the og titans, where they’re not only ready to consider killing anybody who threatens the group but makes it difficult for new people to fit in. donna and kory got along well with each other, but the dynamics between hank/donna/dawn and gar/rachel/rose were somewhat strained, and with jason, they were really fucking terrible. it makes sense when you think about how the titans started and how they broke up the first time--both were fairly disruptive events, i’d imagine, in that they probably got together to break away from their mentors and strike out on their own, and when they split up, it was the first time they felt directly responsible for the loss of an innocent life.

but the titans that dick is leading now is explicitly about mentoring a young generation of heroes, about second chances and found family. dick definitely wants to reach out to him first, and i have a feeling he’s going to be forced to make some sort of terrible Choice later on in this episode.

2.8. (honestly tho, this also seems like hank struggling with his own guilt re: jason; if red hood is not the kid that he failed, it’d be easier to fight him.)

HANK NO

4. honestly this season is already ticking off so many things on my wishlist, but i really wish dick would sit down with the newer members of his team and trust them with important information the same time that he’s telling them to the other members. gar searching for help and reassurance from a man who just dumped all of his responsibilities on his son overnight and went AWOL is a sad sight

4.25. has it only been just 48 hours????? wow! jason’s definitely been planning the red hood gig for a long time now...

5. ezekiel, my man! shady looking guy gets into your cab without a destination in mind... no problem, get right in! said guy gets a call to go to the observatory when he’s barely even looked out of the window so far at gotham... yep, a damn tourist! i want more ezekiel in this show.

5.25. (of course jason has upturned table lamps all along the floor... we have to *gritted teeth* balance the TEAL with the ORANGE don’t we?)

5.5. “dick’s a fucking psycho--he could be following you right now.” hank... has no objection to that lol

5.25. hank, hank... this is bad-decision-palooza. i can’t imagine that hank actually thought that jason was reaching out to him for help, given that the last time hank and jason had any substantial interaction hank had been one of the people accusing jason of sabotaging the team. but for him to go seek out jason and go along with his demands without any backup, weapons or equipment? not the best idea he’s ever come up with.

(add to that getting into the swimming pool of a condemned gym... oh yuck.)

((yes, i have enough self-restraint to not cap his ass.))

(((cap his ass! HA!)))

5.5. do you think jason has bugs/monitoring equipment planted in wayne manor to monitor the titans, or remote access to the cave’s systems? wouldn’t put it past him.

6. oh man, hank came back before dick and the others could meet ezekiel! this is TRAGIC

6.25. i mean, it’s plot-convenient that connor was able to give so much information about the bomb from just looking at it once, but i also like to think it’s the luthor-side of him coming to the fore. it also reminds me of that (in)famous scene from the new52 run of Nightwing comics, where a bomb was attached to nightwing’s heart and luthor disabled it by killing nightwing (temporarily). it’s a neat little callback.

6.55. “where i come from, you go after family? there’s no mercy.” BUT THAT’S THE PROBLEM ISN’T IT

6.75. i mean, dick’s making sense: this is a game, and they need to get it off playing out on jason’s terms. but having a member of his team in his face, doubting his reasoning and every decision? a very familiar sight.

6.8. krypto with an a+ sense of humour? also a very familiar sight.

7. wayne enterprises... providing the military with... bombs that can be implanted in humans? a BIIIIG yikes. i guess it’s not too many steps above developing clandestine intra-dermal trackers and implanting them in your own sons, and bruce probably thought they could be used as part of negotiation tactics, but still... YIKES.

7.5. on the other hand, conner being asked to build a deactivation advice seems part of a growth arc that started from last season... he knows so much, but part of growing is learning, and part of learning is using what you know to create something new.

8. oh man, my heart broke at hank going “i’m an idiot... i screw everything up.” like. for him to go like this, after being brought down to such a low last season? struggling with pain and addiction and his relationship with the love of his life? it’s so sad.

9. oh, oh, oh! ronnie from schitt’s creek! i love her!

9.5. “one of jason’s minions” took his body out of the morgue... how deliciously morbid that he planned out his own death like this!

10. TALK TO HANK, DICK

honestly, tho, i’m quite impressed with dick here. trying to think beyond just the most alarming part of the crisis at hand, keeping his cool, delegating tasks, frequently touching base with different members of his team... well done.

10.25.... whoops, spoke too soon. i’m genuinely confused here, tho. where did the van full of gold bars come from? why did they stop there and get out? how did dawn even know about this?

on the other hand, it’s cool to know dove has bulletproof feathers!

10.5. eh... curran walters isn’t really selling red hood’s menace to me so far. but then again, if titans version of red hood is vulnerable-kid-with-father-issues-trying-to-overcompensate, then yeah! yeah, it makes sense.

11. “when bats have sex, they gotta have something to hang from” OH GOD HANK

... because i want smiley!gar on my blog :)

11.5. awww. i feel sorry for hank but NONE of these fuckers deserve gar except maybe kory

12. ohhh FUCK! look at jason being exactly one step ahead of the titans at every turn. nice.

no really, i love the building stakes and the building mystery - i feel like the deathstroke arc from last season should’ve been more like this. the flashbacks about jericho and rose came too late and after too much build up, which resulted in a very underwhelming and confusing season throughline.

13. HANK AND DIIIIIICCCKKK

“you’re doing your best by me. always have.” WAILING HERE

it also kills me to think that hank thinks that his imminent death is because of his failure to keep the team together (when he was clearly struggling with his own issues and was spiralling towards rock-bottom) and his fear that he will once again be the cause of the team falling apart.

also:

14. “i grew up... you can, too. you just have to face your fear.”

yep, got scarecrow’s grubby little fingerprints aaaaalllll over this.

14.25. nightwing’s got specialised batarangs! yay! (somehow i can’t see this universe’s dick calling them “wingdings”)

15. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh man, that was devastating. well done, show. fuck, well done, jason.

this is going to bring up all sorts of “if onlys” for the team. i can’t wait for some fucking aftermath.

#titans #titans spoilers #dick grayson #hank hall #dawn granger #garfield logan #conner kent #jason todd #a tragic jalebi #meta

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the-cookie-of-doom · 3 years

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Some Thots on Black Sails Season 3 Episode 9

Here’s part of Eleanor’s speech to Vane in the fort, after he again confronts her with the truth that she refuses to hear. That her father was just as much a monster as any of them, that Vane was the one man in her life that actually did love her, and that she will betray anyone and everyone as soon as it suits her purposes. Suddenly in the wake of her father’s death, she thinks he was a good man. I think she has to believe that, because it’s the only way she can live with herself, now that she’s become worse than he ever was. She’s whitewashed her memory, and Vane is plainly stripping that away from her.

"You can't comprehend what you took from me, or what it was good, because there is no goodness in you. There is no humanity in you. No capacity for compromise, nor instinct towards repair, nor progress. Nor forgiveness. You are an animal."

I like Vane. He’s a terrible person for most of Season 1, and probably into Season 2 (Although the only thing I take issue with is what he did to Max, honestly.), and he’s selfish and self-serving through everything up to this point. everyone in this show is. Everyone is serving their own ends. But the difference? Eleanor is the only one that lies about it.

So, lets dissect this speech of hers, with the last scene that we saw with Vane, when he was captured. Cut because this will likely get long.

1. No goodness in him.

The most complicated argument, for sure. But I would say through season 2 and 3, he’s starting to show quite a bit of goodness. As demonstrated by the next points.

2. No humanity

Vane is brimming with humanity, and I think he hates it, because in the beginning it was a hinderance to him. Now he’s leaning into it. The first example that comes to mind is with the slaves put to work at the fort. He can’t stand it. You can see it tearing him apart, Jack even tells him he didn’t give Vane the truth of the hunt because he was trying to protect him, knowing how much it would kill him. Vane tries to work alongside them, maybe as some kind of penance, punishing himself for his part in this and, perhaps, to show they aren’t alone.

Another good example is the first prize he takes with Blackbeard, and the dying Spaniard. Vane allows him the dignity of least dying upright, fetches him some rum, and listens to his story, and is very clearly touched by it.

3. No capacity for compromise or repair

From the very beginning, Vane has been forced into quite a few compromises, actually. In the beginning he resisted. But as the show progresses, so does Vane, and he learns to accept compromise. Hell, season 3 starts with the biggest compromise he’s ever made, becoming partners with Jack and Flint for the better of Nassau. ( Which is a great lead in to the next point...)

Vane burned his bridge with Jack. Max bribed him into fixing it, but he clearly has put in work to repair things further, rather than leaving it with their awkward “reconciliation”. At first, it was an act. Now? It’s genuine. Vane cares for Jack, defended him to Blackbeard as the only one that would stand up and defend him.

4. No capacity towards progress or forgiveness.

Let’s talk about forgiveness first. Once again, Vane forgave Jack and Anne. He even forgave Max, to enough of an extent to continue working with her. He put his past with Flint behind him. I think he would even be willing to forgive Eleanor if she could just swallow her pride and apologize to him, because for some god-forsaken reason, he still loves her.

But progress. Vane’s entire character arc has been about making progress. And the biggest mark in that progress is standing with Flint to defend Nassau. The place that he’d previously been perfectly content to let burn, because he couldn’t give less of a fuck about it. In the beginning, Vane was willing to defend Nassau because it’s what Eleanor wanted. Now? He defends Nassau for the sake of what it is.

Now, let’s look at this as a case of projection.

Since the very beginning, Eleanor has served her own interests, against the guidance of others. She ignored key advice to do what she wanted. In the beginning, we were rooting for her. She was supporting Flint, because their interests were aligned, so of course we want her to buck the apparent system.

But then we begin to see that her ideals and Flint’s diverge. She wants to civilize Nassau; Flint wants the same, but he doesn’t want the crown to do it. He wants to establish his own colony free from colonial rule.

Eleanor doesn’t compromise. She either gets her way, or she makes everyone regret refusing to give it to her. The only time she “compromises”, is when it still works in her favor. Such as when she deposed Vane because of what he and his crew did to Max, and then lifted her ban as soon as it became clear she couldn’t maintain her power otherwise. Sure, she looked so sad and hurt about it, because what about Max, what will this mean to her if she reinstates Vane. Fucking nothing. It means nothing, because Eleanor is the one that tipped over that first domino. So what does it matter if this is just another one that falls in line?

Eleanor has no humanity. We are shown again and again that she will align herself with people, use them to meet her ends, and throw them away as soon as it’s convenient. She didn’t even try to ask Vane to come with her, rather than stay and face certain death with his crew. She didn’t try to compromise with him when he promised he would make things right with them, without her needing to leave him for dead.

Eleanor has the chance to repair her relationship with Max countless times. Every time, she finds away to vindictively attack her, and claim it’s for Max’s benefit. Just giving her helpful advice, of course. Not trying to cut in all the ways she knows will hurt.

Eleanor has no intentions for progress. What she’s advocating for in Nassau is a regression. A return back to colonial rule. True progress would be leaving Nassau to self-govern, establishing it as a self-sustaining state outside the rule of the crown. Exactly what Flint has been trying to do from the beginning. Eleanor doesn’t want that because a self-sustaining Nassau doesn’t answer to her. And above all else, all she cares about is maintaining her power. Nassau can burn so long as she gets to reign as queen over the ashes.

#cookie speaks #meta #black sails #reposting bc apparently the first attempt was shadowbanned #john silver #eleanor guthrie #haaaate her #charles vane #i adore him #so much

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jess-the-vampire · 3 years

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Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 50

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Luna had to admit, this was kinda embarrassing for her, even if it wasn't her like...actual mom. But it had to be done, she was just going to have to talk to her face to face. Honestly it even seemed to be a relief for the queen, who wanted any excuse not to deal with her own mom right now, even if it meant seeing a criminal.

Though she had to admit, this was...unexpected.

Being called over for luna to confess to her in such a way was...odd.

In fact she was sure the girl didn't even have the ability to cry up until this point.

"And look, i never meant to cause so much harm...i really do want to help, so if there's anything you need me to do, i'll do it...i won't get into any more trouble if i can prevent it. I'm sorry i wasn't truthful about my intentions and broke into your stuff constantly, and i'm sorry you had to send my own other mom out there to go and find me when i ran away".

Star was a little...speechless, to say the least.

Eclipsa on the other hand, she seemed to find this whole thing VERY entertaining, which only made things more humiliating for luna. But luna needed her here just as much, especially since eclipsa had pretty much seen everything in her head up to this point. Luna had to do everything in her power to not back out of this and keep herself going, spilling everything out to them.

"Look, i...am no longer going to keeping avoiding you and i'm going to do my best to...improve, and work with you...despite how much i've been avoiding it. I've already spilled everything to marco, judas and sky...and they all know well that i'm...not good at working with people. So...i'm going to change that, and...i'll...make things up to everyone...".

"You sick or something?", eclipsa teased, "This doesn't seem like you much at all, what happened to being so independent and not wanting to worth with us adults?".

"Look, i'm not saying i'm happy about it...but it's clear my methods aren't getting me anywhere right now, and...everyone hates me. I hate to even admit it, but...i don't...like being alone like this. The girls and guys weren't exactly...great, i hate issues with them...but...they...care about me. And all i've done is treat them like dirt and push them away...and i...i feel bad". Luna had never really properly admitted something like this before, in fact it made her feel like a different person, she must have been so defeated, more then every before.

Eclipsa frowned, luna actually seemed...genuinely sad and it was...hard for her to process.

"I felt bad when i left judas behind because he was one of the only people who liked me and had any trust in me...and i know why i did it and why i felt i had to do it...but i didn't feel good about it either because i know he wanted me there with you all. I've never really had much as far as friends, even back home and now that i actually felt i had one...it feels worse that i might've lost them...i hate to admit when i'm wrong...but...i...i did screw up this time. I was thinking so strategic that i never planned...for something like this...".

Star shifted in her seat, her gut retching as she mumbled out what she wanted to ask most of all.

"Am i... really that bad of a mom in your world?".

Luna didn't seem to know exactly how to answer that, actually wait, she did.

"Yeah, i'd say so".

She was still luna after all, even if she was having a change of heart for her actions that didn't mean she was going to be a entirely...nicer person.

Eclipsa snorted in laugher as Star gave her kinda daughter a face of frustration. Luna glaring at her back with an equally frustrated face on her end, guess it was clear where she got it from.

"Look, don't take it too personally, you're technically not exactly the same person anyway. But i needed to get this out of my system and you're technically my mom so...i'm getting it out of my system...even if i'm not supposed to be telling you so much about other universes...i'm just trying to get you to trust me...and i'm not sure how else then to...not do things my way...".

"So...you instead choose to confront me...who has nothing to do with your stuff back home?"

"Look, my mom isn't here, i can't talk to her here, but i need to get it off my chest and...you're what i have...you're the person i need to confront properly. Eclipsa is here because she can tell you if i'm being honest or not. I've never ever properly talked about this stuff with my own mom back there and i thought this might help me cope with...everything".

She huffed and pulled on her locks, sighing and feeling...like she wanted to curl up.

"Look...and this is hard to say...i miss her...i miss my moms...i've never really said it here but...i miss them, i miss them annoying me and causing me pain and trying to take care of me and get me outta war and...i've been pushing it back to focus on the mission and ignore all of it...but i know that's the truth...that i wish i had them here...that they were still here".

"Luna dear...".

"No, i needed to get this out, i've been piling up since i got here, i've barely talked about anything in my life and how i feel about stuff, and it...didn't help. Sky and Judas saw for a bit, they saw me start to break down at the changes and i forced myself to maintain and relax...but i just...i wanna go home, i want to stop feeling so stressed and i want them to like me again...surprisingly. I thought i didn't care but...i think i do, i never felt so...hurt...knowing sky...actually cares about me...it's...strange".

"Well, admitting that is a good step".

She looked up at eclipsa, "I know i'm a mess, everyone knows i'm a mess...i just...need things to go right...and...if that means changing things up. I'll do it, even if it kills me, back home i'm just very used to making all the choices. I tell everyone what to do and they do it, no question, and if they don't do it i go in there and do their jobs for them, it's me and it's how i opperate...and...it doesn't work here".

"Well here you're not in charge, even as much as you'd like to be", eclipsa looked over to star, "Besides, you can boss them around all day, but i think it's clear things are more effective without all of that, trust and care tends to always work out better...because at least if you fail...you still have someone you care about in the end. Not much can be said if they're terrified of you...i would know".

"Alright, you've made your point, i suck...now i just want to see if there's anything i can do to...well...help with that, i want to work with all of you and...fix this with you, but no one really seems to want me to help and...i feel so useless in here.", she was trapped, she couldn't go out and take action even if she wanted to, her owns actions leading herself up to this.

"I...put myself in this position, if i had been more cautious and hadn't tried to go for on my own i wouldn't have been a perfect target for something like this to happen...i was foolish to have even let this happen to me, it's so unlike me...i'm just...i must be falling apart. I'm not as strong as i thought i was...i've never been so...weak then i have been when i got here", she pulled out her wand to show the women, star looking at it curiously.

"But i can't give up, i've never given up in my life...so...for once, i'm listening...whatever it is you need me to do, i'll do. I know i have not done much to make myself seem trustworthy to you and everyone else...but...i need them to trust me, they can't protect me if they can't trust me...so if there's anything i can do...to gain your trust in this situation...", she got down on one need and bowed like a knight.

"I'll do it...".

Star got up out of her seat and made luna stand up, placing her hands on her shoulders, "Hey...i...wasn't crazy involved in whatever happened between you and sky and judas but i could tell it really bothered them, so...i appreciate it that...well...you wanna do right by them. I mean whether that works out is well...up in the air but it's the effort that counts".

"I'm guessing that meeting sky had with you recently got you thinking huh?", eclipsa winked at luna and she grumbled.

"Look, don't tell them how much i care or anything, just help me help with everything...", but eclipsa was swooning, "Aww luna, it's sweet you really care about them so much despite everything...seeing you change because you do want them around is precious.". Luna was slightly red faced as she sat back in her seat and away from her mother who backed off from her.

"Yeah yeah...moving on...i'd...rather not spend too much time thinking about how mad they are with me right now", she quickly looked over to star intently, "I know they have a plan, i've heard mentions on occasion, and i can help...my entire like back home relied heavily on strategy...especially when it came to catching criminals...i may not be able to do much...but...i have skills outside of magic".

"Luna, you know it might come off...the wrong way if someone finds out we're working with you...when you're currently a criminal right? As nice as all of this is and as nice as it is you want to work with everyone and do better, the people of mewni are resting because they think we solved the case and found our culprit, and if they get wind not only are they still out there...but we're working with the top suspect".

"Oh star c'mon that's simple, just say luna has given us some new leads or something to check out if they ask questions. If they think she's the masked lady then ok, but they have no reason to protest about us running around on her orders if it's to help in some way, not all criminals send people around for the wrong reasons. Really just make sure no one knows about where she's from and that she has a wand...don't need another sky incident".

"Oh...right, sky's wand...broke, right?", she clearly hated hearing how a precious family heirloom like that had been smashed in the way it was, only some powerful magic could do something so henious. "Y'know, you could always bring the wand to me and i could take a look at it, i...wanted a better look at it before and never really had the chance, and well something about it-".

"The gemstone right?".

Eclipsa glanced at star, nervously pressing her hands together, "I've had a good look at it too, i know what she's getting at here, that there's something off about it compared to any other wand gemstone we've seen. It's unique to say the least, though i get the impression sky was worried you'd see it and assume the worst of her, which...i can't blame her".

"And she...was probably right, i might've assumed she wasn't being honest with me. Though granted i've seen sky do magic and it would be assuming a lot of her to guess she did that and fooled me this entire time...". That wasn't exactly meant as an insult but it did slightly sound like one as luna did a double take and went back, "I'm just saying, based on what i know...sky...wouldn't do all of this".

"So if you don't think she really is at fault, where do you lie exactly luna?".

She had been thinking about that for awhile, and while there were many ideas to consider, the truth right now was harder. "I...have no idea, the person doing it has so many...unusual things we know about them but i don't know where it leads to. I hate being at a loss but i am, i'm not sure who really is behind it...not that it matters...we can figure it out when we arrest them".

"Well luna, for your sake i hope we find them soon, we can't keep you in here forever and you know how mewmans are when they don't get what they want. Things will get nasty fast, so if want in on the plan then just be sure you know what you're getting into", luna seemed to understand just fine, and star stood up. 'Then I'll allow you a further look at the wand later, in the meantime i suggest...well...dealing with your issues".

It was meant to be a joke, but it was advice as well.

She had a long way to go before she started handling her relationships with people in the ways she should, and it was just going to take baby steps. But she had to admit, talking about this with her mom was actually nice regardless of the context. "Well, thanks for...talking with me...it...means a lot to me that both of you showed up and spoke with me...about everything".

"Well it certainly seems like you needed it...holding that in for so long is bound to have caused problems, now i suggest you get some rest and take it easy...we'll get in contact with you when we can". Luna seemed more put at ease, actually, this had been the best conversation she had relating to getting help in awhile, less tension, less weight on her shoulders...it was...nice.

Eclipsa had to get moving, she needed to get back to her work before she got too distracted again, but star stayed a little longer. This had been the first time she really had the proper time to really think about luna being her kid to an extent, and she couldn't help but feel some form of pity. If this was the result of her own actions in another world, who knows how bad hers now were.

She really needed to do better with sky, she didn't want to see sky end up like this.

"Hey...sky never had many friends growing up, especially female ones, judas has been loyal to her throughout their entire friendship...so...it means a lot to me...and well...i know it would to her, that you wanna do better for her sake. You've...clearly ticked some buttons but...maybe with some time, things can change and maybe you can have a proper friendship with her".

"Maybe...i guess i never realized how lonely i was till i was...alone...even back home i...still had...you".

She looked at star tearfully, "I...i miss you...and mom...your badgering and frustrating actions and constant ogling over me...i want it back, i really think i do...i miss my home.". She felt like pulling out her hair cause she'd never act like this back home, but she couldn't help it, she felt like she needed to get it out, like being strong for so long had finally collapsed on her.

"Well, i can imagine after being here for so long, yeah...you would, but...we'll make sure you girls get home...it won't be forever...even if we do have to get omni involved...which...i know why you all refuse to do and frankly...i prefer none of them find out this happened either if i can help it...but i'm sure your mom...well...me...misses you very much and can't wait to see you again".

"They probably think i was kidnapped...war and everything. My home might be in utter chaos right now without me there.", luna was not easy to kidnapp so they might not assume that at first, but no one would assume luna would go missing for this long without foul play. It was hard for her to not think about her absence causing issues back home, it had been on her mind the moment she even got here but her unwillingness to share info about her home forced her to not speak of it.

For all she knew her home was lost and by the time she got back everyone could be dead.

The other girls at the very least, didn't seem to have that fear.

They could expect someone, anyone, to be home waiting for their return but luna could not in a time of conflict. There was no telling who would be there anymore and if they would even want to wait for her anymore after her behavior, just like sky had said. It made it hard to want to go home even though she had to and wanted to, she feared what she might find.

"You don't know that, perhaps things have gone better then you think, i'm sure someone will be there waiting for you".

"You're just saying that to make me feel better about all of this, sky was right, people don't like me and they're not going to wait for me...i can make repairs here but i can't back home...". She held her head in her heads, slumping, "I'm far too late to fix those things...i know it, you wouldn't fully get it but i've done...some things i'm not proud of but i had to do".

"Such as?".

Luna hesitated, but she did promise to tell.

"Well i may of...mind wiped...a few people...hostages actually".

Whatever star had been expecting her to say, it wasn't that for sure. Not that that seemed like something luna wouldn't do, it did, but she certainly didn't want to think she'd gotten herself into doing stuff like that. But luna had more to say on the matter, scratching her head, "I had to...you did it plenty of times as well, it was kinda a big deal...wouldn't have met ash or cole without it...".

"I'm sorry...who?".

"That's not that relevant, but it did land them in my castle...though i did...well...sorta arrest them and keep them in the dungeons...it wasn't a great first meeting basically.". Well that was an understatement for sure but it did make star more curious, what had she gotten into in other universes to lead to such a mess. She could never see herself mindwiping anyone like that, much less for war or hostage purposes.

"You shouldn't have had to go through any of that luna...been raised to have to do any of that, that's no place for a kid to grow up in...i can't imagine what it's done to you...and what it's put you through". She bit her lips and reached out to touch luna's shoulder, "Look, maybe back home things might be harder to repair...but...don't give up, it's never too late to start fresh if need be".

"Thanks...mom...".

"But hey, if i know anything about me, the me back where you come from would do anything to see you again, i can promise you that at least...even if i've done some...questionable things. So cheer up, nothing's all lost for now...and hopefully you can sleep better tonight getting that out of your system, we'll talk more in the morning...after a meeting with...my mom".

She didn't seem eager about that, but it had to be done.

"Well if you need any advice...i have...well...been through my own fair share of meetings i don't like being in...so, no i'm not saying to mind erase...we already have enough problems without involving that", star smiled, heading on her way out. "Sounds good, just let the guards know if you want anything and I'll be right here, just try and rest of the time being, you sound like you need it".

"I tend not to trust easily, so...please don't spread all of this around...it would mean a lot to me", she knew she hadn't fully gained their trust but it couldn't hurt at ask at the very least, but star nodded. "Well, if you're willing to improve, then there's no reason for me to act like that towards you, trust goes both ways. So i'll keep this to myself, i'll see you later luna...and thank you".

She carefully closed the door behind her, leaving luna once again in darkness and by herself.

But she did feel a little better then she did before at the very least.

She laid back in her head, twirling the wand between her fingers, a headache growing in her mind from all the conflicting emotions going on in her head. She needed sleep, this was not something that would be handled in a night after all. She needed to relax and rest for once, let others take over an her a backseat to it all. Something she hated but had to deal with until she got updates.

She'd never really taken much of a day off before, she had her moments of breaks but...they were few and far between.

Now she was given time to...breathe.

She sunk back into her bed and closed her eyes, her wand going back into hiding.

Finally having the best sleep she had in months.

"But dad, i wanna see landon!", mason whined, protesting as tom tried to calm him down. The boy had been crying excessively and the demon was trying his hardest to help him feel better, with not as much luck as he'd like. Mason was an emotional child, he got really upset when things like this happened and especially when he was at fault, he missed his garden, his comforts, his brothers.

All of this was making it hard for him to be a happy kid and grow up like a happy kid.

How was he supposed to relax when his brother probably hated him? He promised to help him and look what happened! There was no way landon could want his help now, he was just making things worse. He felt like hiding in his wings and never coming out, even if his dad was telling him there's no way landon would hate him forever for any of this.

Was it too much for him to ask to do a good job? For him to not make things worse for everyone at every turn?

"Mason...please...it's ok, it was an accident and i'm sure landon knows it. You're not at fault...things happen sometimes and it's no use hurting yourself over it...", but mason didn't wanna hear it, even if it wasn't on purpose he still felt guilty. Tom noticed he wasn't helping and quickly changed gears, "Sorry sorry, it's ok to be upset...i know why you are...i just don't want you to hurt yourself over it because it's not your fault".

"Feels like it's my fault...i wasn't careful enough...i made him upset again".

Tom carefully removed the boy's hat and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing, "Hey, you're a kid, you're young...you're going to make mistakes like this. I know i made a lot of mistakes when i was around your age. You're not a bad kid mason, you clearly love your brother and you want to make him feel better...you never meant to do anything to hurt him".

"I just keep getting in the way, every time i try to help or want to help things go wrong...i was better off with my plans, by my self", he sniffed some more and tom continued to sooth him , "C'mon...little bat, you know that's not true, you're the life of the family...you always are here to lover everyone and you do everything in your power to help all the time, that's not a bad thing".

"But-".

"Things went wrong, i know...things have kinda gone wrong for me too, multiple times, but that doesn't erase all the good you've done...think about all the helpful things you've done", the small demon thinking back to helping with the potion, and the interrogation, and of course working things out with fae. Not to mention his plant knowledge being helpful for cures and medicines.

See...good", tom could notice the smile on the little boy's face, "You can't win them all, sometimes they don't work out, but it's ok. You've just had a few missteps...but eventually they'll move on and you'll get chances to improve and help out without breaking anything or having anything go wrong. You're a good kid mason, and we all want you around".

"You really think landon will forgive me for this? I mean...y'know, he really liked this guy and it meant a lot to him to confess naturally and he got so upset when he backed out last time and now he gets his chance and he screwed it up! I mean i was...i was telling him he needed to tell him because bernard thought he was acting funny but i didn't want...i didn't want to make it worse".

"Well hey, you can make it up to your brother later, after he gets a little space, this is his emotions and he needs the time to sort it out. Later, when things have cooled down you can go over to him and tell him you're sorry. Better you clam down first then try and say sorry while you're crying so much. But considering this whole thing was not on purpose i don't think he can completely pull the blame on you for it happening".

"But i pressed the buttons".

"Yes, but your hand slipped right?"

Mason nodded and tom smiled gently, "Then it's ok mason, it's not your fault...it was an accident, and I'm sure when landon is ready he'll forgive you." The small boy gently nodded his head and tom handed him a popsicle. "Here, have a treat...you've been helping out and doing a good job, you should have something special...just eat it fast...it'll melt quickly with our warm bodies...".

Mason sniffled and accepted the treat quickly, munching it down and making his tongue orange.

"You're a kid mason, a very smart kid, but still a kid...even adults make mistakes like this...it's nothing to feel bad about. We don't love you any less for the stuff you do, because you clearly care about all of us in your own mason way. I think...it was brave of you to push landon to confess, not many people would do that, but...i think if things had been different, he would've confessed because of you".

"You think so?".

"You're better with people then your brothers are, i mean...not perfect of course...we really should've helped get you more friends outside of your plants but...still, you're always so willing to make new friends and greet people. You're always so happy and sweet, you're a good kid, not a perfect kid but that's why we love you...don't try to grow up too fast...ok?".

Mason seemed sweetened by the words, but a little down.

Tom thinking about what else he could do to help.

"Hey if it makes you feel any better, me and your mom's confession of love was pretty embarrassing too, we started dating and i decided to tell them i was in love with them...and well. It was meant to be romantic, at a concert to our favorite band and everything, but it turns out the cameras were on us at the time during the big number and my confession was shown to EVERYONE...it was...not what i wanted to go for".

Mason snickered, his eyes lighting up again, "Everyone?".

"Well at the time it sure felt like everyone, i guess i wanted it to be a slightly more intimate moment but i guess a concert wasn't the place for that. Dumb mistake on my part but marco got over it, they thought it was sweet...so i guess it did work out even if it was super awkward and not exactly the best way to confess to being in love with someone".

The story seemed to cheer mason up, his tears dried and a little bounce back in his step.

"I know it's not fully comparable, but if i can survive that...i think landon can handle this...he's a strong kid...we'll handle the situation as things move forward.", then he paused before taking a deep breath and a toothy grin, "And well, maybe after this we can take a trip back into your garden...properly, i know it's been awhile since you got to go in there just to go in there".

The mere mention of his garden suddenly got mason very excited, like a fresh child all over again. His garden always cheered him up, he could spend hours in there, he quickly hugged his father, tugging him tightly as tom hugged him back, "Thank you". Tom let his son go so he could stretch his wings and they both stood up, "Just because this all is happening doesn't mean i don't get to be a parent, c'mon, let's take a break".

He felt the small boy cling to him and hold his hand, "Can we go to the garden right away? I wanna see how my death bulbs are growing...and pick some flowers...for landon, as an apology...it would mean a lot to me...". The king of demons led the way, holding onto his son tight, "Yeah of course, but ehhhh maybe we outta be more careful in the future of what you plant there...so you no longer sneak seeds it".

"Didn't you have a torture wheel in your bedroom when you were a kid".

"AND WE'RE LEAVING-", tom said loudly, the guards chasing behind them as they went faster.

Honestly landon was happy he had such a good relationship with his mom, he really needed their help when stuff like this happened. Someone to support him and keep him from falling apart, a comforting support system. It made what happened with bernard a lot easier to deal with not feel so bad about, because at least he had someone to help him keep his mind straight when talking about it.

Marco had themselves...well...their own interesting love life, so it at least made landon feel a little more normal knowing he wasn't alone in his insecurities and poor love life. He couldn't bring himself to mess with his contact right now but marco was at least helping him ease up so he could use it and set up a meeting between him and bernard. Because he couldn't put it off forever, bernard would get worried and he didn't want that either.

He didn't want their friendship ruined, no matter what.

"Yeah, i confessed to jackie in a really awkward way too...way back when we were teens. So don't feel too bad, but you ripped off the bandage...so now it's best to talk about it so things between you guys can patch up or maybe get uh...deeper?". Landon rubbed his reddened face, huffing, "It's going to be so embarrassing though, even thought i know i have to".

"All confessions are embarrassing, but you have to do them...especially if you want a chance with your crush".

"It's been a few days now, you think it's really a good time?".

"Landon, you're only asking him to talk, it's about as low brow as you can get with this whole thing...it's better to do it in person then doing it on the compact...so just ask him to talk and we'll figure it out as we go...but you need to say something soon. The more time you take the more time he has to think something's wrong and he at least deserves to know you're ok and want to speak to him still".

"What if i embarrass myself?".

"I've embarrassed myself multiple times in front of jackie when we were getting together, nothing you can do can be any worse then that...so i think you'll be just fine. As long as you keep yourself together and be honest with him, like we said before if he doesn't want you around anymore...that's on him. And if you need any help, i'm always here for you ok?", marco patted landon's shoulder gently and the demon nodded.

"Ok...going in".

Who knew sending a text could make you so stressful?

Landon had to pull up the conversation texts, nearly bringing back the flood of emotions he had all over again, but he needed to remained focused. Thankfully bernard hadn't said much about the video directly. No all of his texts were mostly asking for landon and if he was ok. Landon's absence must've really worried him and he was probably freaking out since landon talked to him so often.

All of their talks going to nothing was like whiplash, and it made both of them feel sorta empty on the inside.

Landon: Hey, can we talk?

It was short, but sweet, he just hoped bernard didn't well...get into the whole deal right away. He wanted bernard to just agree to meet up and not address what had happened until then, otherwise he might start freaking out again. He didn't even know when bernard might get the text, and the anticipation was going to kill him in the mean-

Quickly a response was texted out.

Had bernard been waiting near his phone for a response?

Bernard: Yes

Landon gulped, thankful he didn't mention..."It", marco looking over his shoulder and nodding to him.

Landon: I'll come to you, tomorrow, k?

God he must sound so much like an idiot but if bernard thought so he didn't say it.

Bernard: Ok

He felt a sigh of relief, ok, he got that part of the whole thing taken care of. Now they just had to meet up, and talk about landon's confession, and hopefully avoid making things more awkward between them. Something that was easier siad then done and made his stomach churn just thinking about it. But marco seemed impressed so far, hugging landon gently and prepping him up.

"See, that wasn't so bad?", they were being as encouraging and supportive as possible but they weren't at the worst part yet. Landon was going to have this conversation alone, one on one, so marco couldn't be there to tell him what to do or say. He was just going to have to go in there and do his best, and social skills weren't exactly something he was well known for.

"I'm gonna make a fool outta myself...aren't I?".

Marco chuckled and shook their head, "Have more faith in yourself landon, it'll be ok, just do your best...you can prep for tomorrow. In the meantime, we can take a break from this and you can help me with something real quick". Honestly a break away from this sounded like more then a good idea right now, landon following marco as they made it into marco's redecorated office.

Having the castle back in order was great, and a great excuse to change up some things.

Though why marco needed landon here was unclear until marco pulled out some papers, "Alright so the thing is we're going to try sky's plan and spy a little on the bar you hanged out at...wait no, it was a coffee ship right?". Landon's face annoyed, did he look like someone who spent his time sneaking into bars? Marco laughing it off as they continued.

"Anyway, you know it better then anyone and we were hoping you could help".

"Like...with what? I just hung out in the box all the time, i'm not much useful for anything but that, the place isn't very big you won't get lost or-".

"No no", the human continued, "We want you to play, and be in on the undercover thing".

Landon stumbled for a minute, trying to process what his mom just asked of him. "Wait, you really want me to be involved in this plan stuff? You don't even really know if it'll help, we might just waste our time in there, it's not like the criminal will just waltz into another food spot and hide inside...like...what are the chances?". Marco agreed of course, but it was more then that.

"Landon, we know, we just also know this place you went to gathered some strange characters as well, so it's a good place to get some gossip...hearing from citizens might help, and it might be better to just keep ourselves hidden just in case of hidden enemies...you have to at least admit it might be good to hear from people outside of just us...and if it makes you feel any better...it's not just there, this is just the underworld spy crew".

Landon raised an eyebrow, "Wait, you got more?".

"We do, this is just the only one that involves disguises sky made...we're not fools landon, the more info we get the better...we can then figure out more information...maybe even where they're hiding. Your coffee shop is just perfect because all kinds of people go there, but it's so small we might not draw too much of a crowd who will know who we are".

"I dunno if you want me...i'm not good at these mission things, every time i go on a mission with any of you things go horribly wrong...", by marco insisted, "I'm coming with to keep you all safe...we want you because not only do you know the place, you're also a musician, you're perfect to tag along with the girls in disguise because you can perform in the back and access places we can't".

"Are you sure it's good to bring me though? I...i don't want to risk getting hurt...one of the last times i was in there...i almost got into a fight".

Marco's tune suddenly changed, quickly back to comforting the demon, "Wait...you almost got into a fight in there? Landon...i had no idea, how come you never brought this up?". The boy shrugging, "I never wanted you to know i was sneaking over there and hanging out in the royal booth place...for privacy...admitting that happened meaned admitting my place and...i might lose it".

"Landon...".

"It's great you want to trust us more and are getting me involved, but i'm dead weight".

"Well, i can't make you if you don't want to, so if you can't it's ok i'll just find someone else or handle it on our own. I'm glad you're not hurt...i had no idea that place could really get so...dangerous...maybe i should consider getting better protection if we're taking the girls into this...we spread out so many of our guards to spy at this point we're getting low on people we can use".

"Is that why there's not as many guards around?", landon hadn't been paying that much attention but he could tell the place wasn't as swarming with guards as it used to be, not since they sent the underworld works back home. "Well, we had no choice, though we would prefer to keep as many here as possible we need people out there to help us find this person...so it's just something we had to go...so we're going to be protecting our own place mainly...".

Something about that seemed to make landon more uneasy.

"Actually, i'll go".

Marco raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure, what changed your mind?".

"Well, i feel safer around you guys then well...being here without you actually...", he was biting his lips rather nervously, "I wasn't here when they attacked but well...judging by how terrfied angel and sky were of it...i might prefer to not be the next person kidnapped like that so...and i guess it would help me perform in front of people".

"You can back out if you want-".

"No, i'll go, you helped me i'll help you, even if i think the idea might not go anywhere...but...if you ask me, your best chance of getting anything...is by going to the performing arts showcase...lotta people show up there. I mean anyone can just ask to perform there for the evening but the busiest i see the place is during performing arts nights where many people show up to see many different professionals perform...would draw a large crowd".

Marco smiled.

"And you thought you were dead weight, c'mon landon,".

Landon blushed profusely, "I guess i know some things since i've been outside the castle more then judas or mason, even if i'm not that skilled with magic and fighting and everything you guys are skilled with. But don't expect me to know everything, i've just been there long enough to know what the best food is and whose the best performers and whose regulars there and all of that.".

"Well, you think that's useless, but i think that might be rather handy...not every hero needs to be a powerful fighter landon, sometimes the best heroes are the ones who are observant, know what to avoid and what not, one thing about you i don't think enough people notice is you're good at observing, you can tell when someone seems trustworthy or not and you notice things others don't".

"I mean, i guess you're not wrong about that-".

He never really noticed this about himself before now, never even considered it.

"You're not useless landon, you're more handy then you know, we all have our skills".

He thought for a moment, before fiddling his hands together, "Hey mom...i know your keeping the wand away from me for now but...my markings and everything...i really do want to learn". Marco understood, arm wrapped around them as they headed out of the office, "I know you do, and i'll help you...but not now...it's not a good time with everything else...there will be time when things die down".

"But i could help...i've seen you do powerful magic".

"Yeah but i'm trained, you're not, and right now we just have bigger things to worry about...it's going to have to wait...i'm really happy to see you're excited about these new powers but they're dangerous for you to learn without help and help isn't ready yet". God, he would be so grounded when his mom found out he had been trying to do magic without any help.

"Eclipsa is willing to teach me...", he mumbled, grumpily, stopping marco in their tracks.

"Wait...she said that? I'm not sure she has to time to be dealing with that, she no longer can even teach angel and sky anymore! As nice as that offer is, she doesn't even fully know how our magic is...sure it has many similarities to butterfly magic but not completely. What we have is unique to us landon, and it took both star and tom to help me get a grasp on it...eclipsa can only go so far".

"But this is important to me, why is this any different then helping me with bernard and taking time into that?", he didn't meant to come off so rude when he said that but it kinda just came out that way and marco's face quickly grew upset. "Landon, helping you with your personal relationships is one thing, helping you learn magic is another, the least i can do at this time is help you deal with your crush, and deal with your emotions...but learning magic takes months...years...time we do not have".

"I just...mom, i never feel like anyone pays much attention to me...you guys always focus so much on judas and landon and...now something crazy just happened to me and none of you want to even help me with it or anything...i'm not trying to take up your time but like...", oh great, now he was getting emotional again, but at least marco hadn't left or anything.

"Oh landon, we're never trying to isolate you...your older brother is cursed and your younger brother is still growing...we had to give them extra attention to help them, we never meant to hurt you like that ." Landon was silent, mumbling as marco continued their speak, "I'm sorry we haven't given you the time we should, we're busy so often...and i guess time gets ahead of us...we should've taken more time for your specifically".

"I...know you never meant anything by it..."

He limply shrugged his shoulders, "I know you and dad don't hate me or want to hurt me...or love me less, i just feel...so alone sometimes...like i don't matter or my interests don't matter...like i want...my issues to be at the center at some point. I guess it's selfish to want that but...sometimes i feel so alone in our family...like i don't matter as much".

Marco touched landon's face gently, thumbs tracing his cheeks and wiping some fresh tears, "Landon, we love you so much, you matter a lot to us, we should've done better for you as parents, that's entirely on us and you have nothing to be ashamed about. I wish you told us this sooner, but i promise we'll do better from now on when it comes to you especially".

Landon believed his mom, but-.

"You're still not going to teach me magic though...i can tell".

"Not now, but...i will, i promise", marco quickly kissed the boy's cheek and sighed, "I'm glad we talked about this, i felt neglected a lot too when i was a kid, and at the time i didn't even have siblings yet, my parents were just busy with each other to pay me much attention. The last thing i need is to repeat the same problems with my own kids if i can help it, i know all the issues that came with that weren't really...great".

"We...have a lot more in common then i thought", the teen mumbled, "I guess it's no wonder we get along and everything, super weird though". Marco smirked, "You're just a little me, my baby boy. I think it's cute, glad tom didn't hog all the genes for you three...and i must admit, it's nice having someone who can understand what i dealt with...when it came to having magic...i got so confused...and scared even". Landon wiped away his embarrassment to change the subject before his mom could come up with more cute nicknames for him.

"Did you ever hurt anyone?".

Marco eyed their son like they thought they were being accused of something and landon quickly changed their tune before they hit a nerve.

"Look, magic is super dangerous, i just wanted to know if things ever went crazy when you tried to use it...like with sky and her mom sometimes.", it was also to make him feel better about how his magic had been going so far but marco didn't need to know anything about that aspect. The human shyly nodding, "Yeah...a few times, but it's all part of the learning process.".

"And it didn't scare you off?".

"Landon, you've known me, you know i don't get scared that easily. I've fought things bigger then our castle, learning magic is just like learning any new dangerous skill. It starts off scary and freaking you out but surely and slowly you get things together and suddenly you can handle it better. Every queen has had their fair share of mistakes, you're bound to make some".

"How bad did it get?".

"Well i did once send your father to a new dimension, but he came back in one piece", the laughed at the memory, "We got pretty crazy back then, but we always had each other, i never would've known what i was doing without them". Landon felt himself welt up, he really was trying to learn without any help, sky didn't even want to really help him, worried he was up to something.

Which he was, but still.

"Mom, do you worry about what'll happen when i'm able to do magic like you do?", the queen eyeing him curiously before snickering, "Landon, you've gotten into a lot of trouble recently but no, i'm not worried, you and your brothers are very sweet young men and i trust you'll be careful. I mean you might get into danger a few times but i think in the end you'll do the right thing".

Great, more stuff to make landon's insides jump around like crazy, exactly what he needed right about now.

"Hey...with jude's curse, if he's really been controlling it the entire time...does that mean we're not in danger anymore? Like...it's not alive and everything so...things should be fine now right?", though marco looked like they wanted to say yes, they shook their head. "It's emotion based...it reacts based on stress and anxiety, and...if judas doesn't know what he's doing...it can act up".

"So you're saying judas can still kill us in his sleep if unchecked...?".

Marco gritted their teeth, attempting to smile through them, "Yeahhhhh, but we should be fine, we can sort it out". That did not ease landon's mind at all, not even a little bit, "Well then i hope for our sakes he's in control of his own mind enough to make sure his mind doesn't make a giant scary monster appendage kill us off without him being able to handle it", he huffed under his breath.

"Well as long as he keeps that charm on, at the very least his mind will be free of intrusion. He's been going to bed with it on, i don't think he'll be taking it off anytime soon".

They headed on their way to inform sky of landon's recent indoctrination into their team , landon following behind with a lot of stuff currently on his mind. Mostly about whether he should admit to what he was doing to his mom. His mom was his most trusted person ever, he should say something about this to them. But if he did he would be in more trouble and sky might find out what he was doing.

And if she knew, everyone else would know too.

And she just so happened to be the person who knew landon wanted to magically attack the creature in the mask, which would just make him look even worst then he already did.

"Landon? You're being quiet, anything else on your mind?", their voice suddenly made landon jump, guess he had been lost in his thoughts for the moment. His mother seemed actually rather suspicious, landon going back to silence. "Landon, look, you've gotten yourself into a lot of trouble lately by trying to do things alone, and i know you don't want to do things alone, you want help...right?".

"Yeah", landon said, without hesitation.

"Honesty is important landon, especially in a team, no more going behind people's backs...you need to start telling people things, Every time you've done so it's made things rough...with everyone, you know that right?". They were starting to sound a little stern and that's when landon really knew he was in trouble, "I know you've had a hard time, especially with people...but...it'll be harder to work together if you're not open with them...".

They finally made it to sky's bedroom and marco sighed at their son's silence, "Landon, i won't force you to talk if you choose not to, but if you're keeping more secrets from us...i just want you to know...be careful ok?". Landon swallowed the spit in his throat as marco knocked on the door, he could always tell when his mother was disappointed in him.

The guilt welting up inside him.

Sure, the magic thing wasn't a huge deal but at the same time...maybe it was a big deal, especially to everyone around him. His mother had just helped him deal with his crush and now he was ending that off keeping his mouth shut about trying magic alone. He didn't know why he was like this, why he both wanted company and pushed everyone away at the same time.

He felt like such an idiot.

"Sky, we're here, and landon said he's going to help!", sky opened the door, sunny and lexi already inside and inviting them in. "Good, cause this is going to be annoying enough as is, i've never in my life had to memorize a script and try and get it somewhat perfect...at least having another face there might make this whole thing a tad less awkward then it already will be".

"Oh sky, it won't be so bad...at worst, i'll take over for you...plus, we get to see sunny perform and that's never a bad thing".

"Yeah but...it's just for the night right? I'm pretty sure if we go there TOO much we might freak people out, i doubt no one is gonna notice who we are eventually...especially you and me, you run the literally underworld this is taking place in...". Marco smirking, "Well, that's probably why I'm attending as myself then trying to play a character, at least you girls get masks".

"They do?", the demon boy perked up, "Can i have one?".

Last thing he wanted was for everyone to see his face right about now, or...anytime really.

"Considering i'm helping design you all masquerade outfits for jude's party, yeah, you can have an extra i got lying around".

"That's a lot of work sky, maybe you should take a break, we could always get some designers to help you out", marco noticed how sleep deprived sky was starting to look, having to go back and forth between so many people in the last few days. She had to see judas, and angel and his family, check up on nora, meet with her mom, even meet with meteora or jackie under some circumstances.

And that wasn't even all of them.

She had to see luna, go over what eclipsa was finding, and of course help sunny with these outfits which also took hours of time.

She had to be exhausted.

"But-", she yawned, only proving marco's point.

"You're still a kid sky, this is starting to become too much, we'll spread these responsibilities around some more...so you don't have to do so much...get you some help if you wanna do the costumes". That's when sunny headed up, holding sky's sketchbook, "She's made some REALLY cool designs! her art is so pretty you guys gotta check these out!".

Sky blushing furiously as sunny scrolled through the book for the lucitors.

Even landon seemed impressed, momentarily distracted from his guilt.

"You make stuff like crazy...how did you design this many outfits?", sky pointing to her compact, "Me and mel talk a lot more these days, she's crazy about that kinda stuff, she sent me like...a million refs for me to use...so thank her on that one...she even wanted to come herself even though i said it was a bad idea. But knowing her, she'll make her own outfit and join anyway".

She yawned again, "Anyways, how'd the crush thing go? You uh...get that whole deal handled?". Landon blushing red before crossing his arms, "Yeah, by tomorrow we'll have it figured out...i hope.". Marco looked over their script and back to sunny, "Ok, so landon has a few more details about the place we're going to, so he can get your all updated for this sneak session".

"You sure anyone of importance will even show up?".

"Worth a shot".

"It better be worth it for me to lose so much sleep over it and have to perform in front of tons or people i don't know, i've had to fight some seriously messed up stuff and yet...this is still some of the worst stuff i've had to do", she still hadn't forgotten the last time she had to perform and nearly killed her mom, she was sure something like that would happen again if she didn't break her wand.

"Sky it'll be fun, think of it like...practicing with angel and stuff!", sunny's words waking sky up from ehr tiredness, before she rapidly started grabbing stuff.

"Shoot shoot, today was the day and and angel planned to hang out for his...make up thing".

"Wait, you're still doing that? At this point i figured you guys wouldn't even bother with the whole thing".

Sky quickly grabbed her stuff, "Yeah we decided to do it today since i made a little free time and he was comfortable with his mom being safe for a bit, not that we're going anywhere, just meeting up in the garden to eat and stuff...i can't be late for that, he's been freaking out so much when it comes to trying to make things up to me for so long and-".

"Sky, hold up, we haven't gone too into-".

"Just talk to sunny, i'll see you later, bye!", and she left quickly before anyone got a chance to stop her, marco looking at sunny, who shrugged and giggled at sky leaving in such a rush, "It's ok, this is important to her too, she and angel had a lot of tension so i think she's happy for them to finally move on from it and have a nice moment together".

"Well, she could've said something a bit earlier, but alright, we'll just handle things together right now"., marco took a seat on sky's bed, stepping over the messy floor that made them tense up. They were always so clean themselves and seeing this...really got to them, though it was barely much different then tom's and their room on certain occasions.

Figures star would let this slide tho.

"Ok sunny, update us".

"Well, lexi has been really shining, she has some great ideas for a proper trap we can set up, we're thinking we could bring back sky's bubble charm and encase the culprit with it, they wouldn't be able to move so it's perfect to catch them without anything bad happening! We're thinking maybe we can bug a fake wand with the charm or something, as soon as they touch it...BAM!".

She motioned a big bubble.

"Caught".

Landon actually seemed impressed with the idea, it could actually work, that was the kinda creative thinking he wanted to do when it came to magic. "Huh, that's a decent idea...but like...just in case, you guys have like...a backup plan? At this point i'm just expecting things not to go well because they never go well...so i'm just gonna hope you guys are prepared".

Sunny looked over to galexia, "Well, kinda...but it's not as safe, mostly because it requires putting the entire room possible to sleep and with them wearing a full mask it's hard to say how much that would work...i guess they do breath under that thing though". Landon and both marco's faces were in full agreement, that that was a very poor backup plan if things went bad.

"Uh...sunny, maybe we outta avoid sleep spells...last thing we need is to put anyone in serious harm and sleeping will make way too many of us incapacitated unless we're all wearing masks...and not the masquerade kind either", the demon girl smiling sheepishy, "Yeahhhh i guess you're right, we haven't been sure what to do...it's too risky to attack".

"Well here's an idea...maybe we could paralyze her?".

Marco looked over to landon questionably, "Look, angel can...vemon bite people right? Makes them freeze up? Either that or sky tazes her, clearly that's worked out pretty well at stopping people". He was mostly rambling but marco actually quickly seemed to be taking it seriously, "Y'know what landon? That's not a bad idea, that would actually work".

The contemplated a little before ushering them together as a group for a huddle, "Ok, here's an idea-".

"Sorry i'm a bit late-".

"We can reschedule if you-".

"NO!".

Sky plopped herself down on the blanket, nearly all out of breath as she looked to angel with an embarrassed expression. "You put a lot of work into this, i won't make you push it forward even more then you have...". She dumped out her bag to reveal the treats she brought, "Can't forget the rolls, though i did bring some other treats from the kitchen too".

Angel then noticed the snacks engrained with insects, food from his own kingdom and his gaze turned soft. "You asked the chefs to make food from my home? That's...really nice of you...thanks sky". Sky shrugged before grabbing a sandwich from a nearby platter, "It's good, i know this whole thing isn't much, but it's a good start...i'm happy having an excuse to have a break".

Angel eyed her over, taking a roll instantly, "You look tired...more tired then you looked before...are you ok?". Sky sighed, taking another bite, "No, i am pretty tired...taking over for judas really showed me how much he carries the team...not that this is all him, i'm the only one who can make all these good outfits anyway...and meet with my mom so much".

"I'll help if you need...", the prince said without hesitation, "You don't have to do all this by yourself, you can just ask and we'll help you out with all of this, you shouldn't have to do everything". But sky was quick to shut him down, "Angel we're already asking a lot of you to make you bait, not to mention everything with your mom right now, i can't ask of you to do this stuff too".

"Sky, you need to care about you too? Right?".

"Well, yeah...but...you all need me right now...i can't...get lazy", she sunk her shoulders, "I've slacked off before, and this isn't the time to do it, not after what happened, i don't want to be the reason things go horribly wrong all over again, i want things to go well and be handled well so i never have to worry about you all again like i did before now".

Angel hesitated before patting the girl's shoulder, "I don't...think that makes you lazy...i think it just means you need time to yourself to make sure you handle everything else even better, right? You can't protect us if you're falling asleep". She mulled over his words, shifting in her seat, "I've just been...seen as such a weak queen for so long and i want to prove myself...now i have a real chance and...it's a lot...i have to admit".

"Yeah, i can see that...but queens also need help right? We said we'd help each other...so...lets continue to do that, remember...you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, we already know how cool you are". Sky snickered, "Reminding me of my own lessons, thanks, i needed to hear all of that...i get too caught up in all of this pressure sometimes...".

"Well it's not being helped with...all of this".

She laughed, "No you're right about that, but i guess in a way it sorta did me some good, i've never felt more...in charge before. Judas usually was the leader in most cases and now...i am...i get to make the calls for once and get out of my comfort zone...so i guess in the end it isn't all bad...even if it does leave me super tired all the time and overworked."

"We can end the evening early if you want to sleep more or something-".

She quickly put a hand over his mouth, "I'm spending this time with you, i'll sleep later...when i get the chance, besides...it's not like i can canc-". Then she looked over to see him texting on the compact he was gifted, curiously looking up at him, "Uh...what's up?". Angel looking back at her like he'd been caught doing something bad, "I...just cleared your schedule, found someone to take up all your other occupations today so you can rest".

"Wait...what?", the princess quickly tried to process what angel said, baffled.

"You now have the rest of the day off, you're free today".

Sky was stunned, "How'd you do that so quickly?".

"Sky, you have a lot of people who can help with some of these tasks...i just asked if they wanted to handle them themselves and they said yes. So now you have katrina checking on luna, nora is going to help sunny, and your other mom is helping eclipsa". He said that like it was so easy, did they all have nothing else to do but help? Of were they helping because she was sky?

Angel blushed as sky kept looking at him, "Look, i uh...i've been trying to get more social...with other people, so well...i have a lot of their numbers now, and well...so yeah i'm going to take advantage of it to help. You need more rest, and time to chill, so i'm giving you time to chill if you want. Otherwise you might pass out from just sitting here and that wouldn't exactly be any real fun for me".

"I'm...impressed, you got them to help...easily".

Angel rubbed at his arms, red faced, "They just...really care about you...and well...i've gotten better at...talking to people". He actually kinda thought sky might be mad at him for taking away her plans for the day, but she actually didn't seem mad at all. She patted him on the shoulder, "Well, hey...if we get more time to hang out today and do some crazy stuff, i can't complain too much".

"You...really wanna hang out with me for the rest of the day?".

"Well, i kinda have to now don't i?".

She was teasing him, and he felt his ears flicker.

"Thanks angel...i guess you're right...i need a little more time off to breath...things are just...getting a little ahead of me And well...i'm worried...", she went a little silent, "If things go poorly, you might get hurt...you more then anyone else. I just want things to go smoothly, i'm tired of watching you all get hurt...and if things go wrong we might not get another chance".

"I know what you mean...but i think i'll be ok, if you're protecting me".

"Angel, you know we're not that strong at magic, i don't even have my wand anymore! I want to protect you, and i said i would, but i'm worried i won't be able to...i've...never done magic without my wand. That's something your species has over ours, you don't need a wand, i do...for now...i can't do what you do without more time to practice".

"Well, maybe it's a good time to start...practicing...i could...teach you what i know? And well, you've heard of the dipping down thing right? We have something similar...so maybe...we could work on it...together?", he was making it sound more awkward then it needed to be. But they did make a great team when it came to learning magic together, "Maybe it's too much, but if you want-".

"Actually, i like that idea...until my wand gets fixed".

She sent him a nice smile and a hair ruffle, "In fact, we got extra time now, let's start after this...". She nodded to the open garden, the perfect place for them to practice their magic attacks, Angel staring at his hands. He hadn't done magic in a little while and he still remembered when he went beast mode a little too well but...they needed anything they could get now to protect themselves.

"Sure, couldn't hurt".

She noticed him staring at his hands before grabbing one of them, trying to relax him.

"Hey...thank you, for...everything. Really...you're...you're a great prince angel".

Angel's ears pressing against his face, "Hey, thanks for well...giving me a chance...i know i don't deserve one...but...it means a lot to me".

"Bug sandwich?", sky said, picking up one before handing angel one.

He raised to it the air, asking sky for a toast.

"To the plan?".

She snickered, bumping the foods together.

"To the plan, and no more of us in danger ever again".

#star vs the forces of evil #svstfoe #svtfoe #sky and the forces of the multiverse #janstar bby #tomstar bby #marco #marco diaz #tom the demon #tom lucitor #tomco bby #my art #starkie bby #eclipsa butterfly #star butterfly #fanfiction #fanfic

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aesthyuckic · 4 years

Text

AVENOIR | l.dh - VIGINTI UNUS

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 4.4K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood, swearing, violence, mentions of abuse, mentions of death

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

VI OF CUPS: nostalgia, happy memories and reunion

The hallways of the police station were so bleak yet grime especially in the night. The sounds of crying came from a small middle aged woman filled the space along with the rings of the phone going off constantly and the people talking lowly and shuffling around. She had her head in her hands as she cried so loudly. Somehow it was quiet enough everyone passing by and around could hear it. They all walked by with concern, but of course, no of them stopped to help her or anything.

It had been a week or maybe two, she wasn’t sure it had felt like months to her, since her son had gone missing. A girl she had never known about went missing the same night. Though, with the lead of an elderly woman that lived twenty minutes away, the police started to be able to look for the car her son had taken that night. They searched everywhere in the area, even ran the license plate number through the system but the car had not been spotted anymore after that night. It was seen that he had taken the exit to a certain beach on a traffic light camera. In the same footage, they were able to see the girl who had gone missing sat in the passenger seat. They never left though... and so people began to search the beach and ultimately, the water too. She had just gotten the news they found some remains of her car in the rocky waters below a certain cliff, no bodies which were presumed to be washed out by the waves and currents.

She was a mess on the floor of the police station after they had just broke the news. A part of her knew they weren’t going to find him, at least not alive but she still hoped. It wasn’t any less heartbreaking to lose her child. They suspected it was a case much like Romeo and Juliet much before the search by the pictures of the girl they found and the boy’s bedroom as well as the diary notes found in the girl’s drawer about her and the boy...

Everything that night was lie... The party never happened, if it did it’s still not where he planned to go. The girl had just disappeared from her room the same evening with no the trace except for that woman and the cameras which were only pieces in the end. The elderly women said they told her they were on their way home from a concert. That was never the truth, though. The whole statement was a lie. They didn’t come from a concert, they came from the opposite direction even and they surely had no intent of going home that night...

Donghyuck’s mother was rather shocked to see how emotionaless the father of girl her son had run off with, was. He just seemed so calm while handling the news about their death, her death. He was alone with his wife and daughter both passing now. He was strange from what she saw of him but again, people did handle grief differently. The way he fumed at the thought alone of his daughter having a boyfriend and grumbled about it under his breath though... He was more mad at the seventeen year old boy rather than the thought of his missing daughter pronounced dead.

The lady’s ears rang as she looked up at him, her hand covering her mouth in an attempt to muffle her sobs. Some of the officers were nice enough to come help her off the floor which was shocking. She looked at him again once she was up and once again, there was no trace of emotion on his face. He was completely blank... She didn’t understand how he could avoid crying at the news of his daughter’s passing. Any parent for that matter, how could a parent not cry, out of anger or sadness, at the announcement of their child’s death when they’re the whole reason the child was alive to begin with?

He began to walk away as he was heading toward the door, ready to leave. Still, so calmly... She ran to catch up with him but by the time she did, he was outside in the cold night. While the grief was settling in, the denial only gave the woman so much strength to carry on. She touched his shoulder as a way to stop him and get his attention to which he violently shrugged off and turned around to glare at her after.

“What?!” It was a boardline yell that made even her flinch, so bitter and angry it was.

“How, how are you not crying over your own daughter? She asked so softly. “How do you not even seen sad about it... The fact that she’s dead and so is my son... you don’t even seem upset about it.”

A sinister, bitter smile came onto the man’s face, almost too fitting for him for comfort of any sort. He walked closer to her with it too which scared her.

“Trust me,” He said. “Cosimia would never kill herself. She’s too much of a coward to go through with it. She’s alive, somewhere, that much I know and she’s probably with your son too.”

Her jaw dropped in shock. She was so taken back by his words there was almost no other way to respond. He could see the speechlessness and shock in her glossy, sad eyes which seemed to satisfy him. He turned as he went to leave once again, his shoes making a certain sound on the wet pavement. She thought maybe the unexpected things he said were due to him being in the denial stage. That’s what she wanted to think, so she believed it. People handled grief differently, right?

“It’s no wonder,” She said, suddenly which stopped him. “It’s no wonder why they didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell us they were together... Seeing the way you’ve reacted tonight alone, I come to realize why they would feel that way. You don’t even seem to care that your daughter is gone forever and my son is, too... You seem angry at him when he’s not something you should be angry at and there’s so much more but I understand why they might’ve felt the need for a suicide pact. Cosimia wasn’t afraid of dying, she was afraid the pain would never go away. Perhaps... Haechan was like a light in the darkness for her but she knew you weren’t going to accept that much like you’re doing right now even! And perhaps, Haechan felt the need to stick with her to the end and that’s why they’re no longer here...”

“Or maybe, you truly know nothing. I knew my daughter, not you.” He said, so flatly and once again, bitter to the point that it hurt.

It was reasonable to think they were dead, everyone else did. He finally walked away which left the woman in the cold by herself as he disappeared into the darkness of the december evening. Her cold hands resided in her coat pockets in contrast to the hot tears that trickled down her flushed cheeks again as she hit by the fact that her son was gone in a sense. It was a gruesome way to start a winter for a mom alone but the rest of those grieving, the holidays so close too... The sleepy down now wept over the lost of two high schools, it broke hearts some more than others, of course, even those that didn’t know them grieved.

Their missing posters still covered poles and sides of old pay phones that no longer worked, all wrinkled and washed out by rain. It made them droop in a sad manner which contrasted from the smiles in the yearbook photos used. They’d be gone soon, eventually the rain would turn them up complete plup. The same pictures appeared one last time on these news that evening to announce they found the car from the night they ran off in the ocean below a cliff. The smiling pictures truly seemed like a lie then, but everything was a lie in the end really.

Memorials went up at the school as well as the beach the car was found at. Donghyuck’s obviously much bigger than the girl’s. Certain types of people came out at times like these. People acting like they knew her, when they knew of her and sure some people were genuine with their sad feelings of her being gone but too many weren’t. Truth be told, it made Donghyuck’s mother sad to see. While she did love to see how many people did care for her son and how much they did, it was sad to see Cosimia get barely anything. She was the opposite of the boy when it came to receiving love from others.

The mother remembered reading the girl’s journal a bit. She talked about what she experienced in detail at school from her peers, how alone she felt because of it. All because of her mannerisms when she just wanted help, to be known and loved. The part that left her with some good feelings was when the girl talked about her son and how they talked to each other out of chance. It was the only time she felt seen as something more than weird and creepy as he wanted to get to know her, even if it was out of curiosity and he wanted to help her, show her the love she never experienced. It was true, the boy was a kind soul and had such a big heart full of all kinds of love to give to others. It made her cry with a bitter smile, at least he was still making someone happy...

The rain faded in the grey sky. The scenery began to become familiar as they made their way down the 101. Cosimia sat on the couch as she stared out the window, too lost in everything that rushed by them. It had been a year since they had been here and the last time they were, they were still alive to everyone. It was bitter sweet in a sense to the boy but at the same time he wouldn’t anything else but to be with her like this. The life they lived now, together, was pleasant and not something he could’ve had otherwise.

Donghyuck stood in the kitchen, making coffee for the girl. He looked over at her as he grabbed the pot that had just finished. He saw her looking out the window with her legs pulled up to her chest. She rubbed her arms that sat on top of her knees with a barely audible sigh. The boy finished pouring the coffee and mixing in the sugar and milk in when he sat down across from her in the couch.

“I’m sorry we have to spend your birthday here.” He said, softly, as he handed her the mug.

“It’s not your fault, Hyuck.” She hummed, taking the mug gently from his hands. “Thank you by the way, but if anything it’s Ten’s fault.”

“Maybe...” He shrugged. “You know, I know this place doesn’t hold the best memories for you. You deserve nothing but to feel happy on your birthday, don’t you?”

“Maybe, but I’m fine and things will be fine. That chapter has closed so you don’t need to worry about me, okay?”

He nodded before she went back to looking out the window. The gray light and dry grass that painted the sky and ground could be seen in the reflection on her eyes. They were near the dried out pasture near the local mall which is where they set up whenever they made their rounds back here. He wondered many things that dull October today... One of the lasts too.

“What do you want for your birthday?” He asked. “I never had time to get you anything or figure it out...”

“Hmm,” She hummed. “I don’t know if you’d want or be able to give it to me.”

“Is too expensive or something?” He chuckled, lightly. “I can always ask everyone to chip in, I know they wouldn’t mind they love you, Cosi.”

“It doesn’t cost anything, money wise.”

“Then why wouldn’t I be able to give it to you?”

“Because... I’m not sure if you’d want to... I mean, I’ve wanted it for awhile and I think you’ve picked up on the fact too. We’ve been close a few times but it’s hasn’t happened.”

“What are talking about?”

“I’m talking about you kissing me. Do you... still like me anymore? I just don’t know... and you know, I want to. We live together and everything if it makes you uncomfortable-”

“Of course I still like you! I just haven’t been able to kiss you because your mom is always around. Fuck, it gets annoying and makes it so awkward especially when I can hear her telling me not to do it. I’ve wanted to kiss you for awhile... Just every time it’s started to happen your mom ruins it and ever since you’ve told me about what your dad did to you... I’m really scared.”

Her expression softened from the frustration she has display moments ago to his confession. His cheeks were hot and flushed as he looked down. She put her mug down on the table before moving closer to him and lifting his chin up so he’d look at her rather than the carpet.

“There’s a reason I want to kiss you, you know. I’m comfortable with and around you, Hyuck, isn’t that obvious?” She asked. “I told you all that because I wanted you to know a deeper, dark part of me. It wasn’t meant to scary you away from showing me affection or anything. There’s no reason to be scared, you’ve always respected my limits even if you didn’t get it. You’re the only person I’m this close to psychical. I trust you.”

“But I think about all those times-“ He started.

“It’s not your fault so don’t guilt yourself over it, okay?”

He just nodded, his cheeks in her hands at that point which was always so soothing and comforting to him. The expression he always had on when she did made her always smile to herself. He just looked so relaxed and angelic.

“So, you really want me to kiss you as a present?” He asked the girl.

“Only if you want to.” She replied.

“Of course I do!” He exclaimed. “I just might not hear the end of it from your mom but I’m kinda willing to risk that.”

“She can’t say anything if it’s a birthday gift, right?”

The two found themselves laughing at the conversation. A brief moment of silence fell over them as they looked at each other. It’s something the both of them wanted for some time, it was so obvious if you looked at their eyes and the way they looked at each other. It was one of those loving looks in couples that made you sick and in pain only because you envied not being able to share that with someone yourself... She wasn’t very good at reading people or being able to tell if they were lying to her anymore. She feared maybe he was lying to her about liking her and everything. It’s not like people hadn’t done it before. Though, when she looked into his soft, dark brown eyes she saw the way they held the light in a different way from usual. It was too clear he felt something so deeply for her.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” She blurted. “Romantically, that is. Although, I think that was obvious...”

He shrugged, “I don’t care, I haven’t either. If that makes you feel any better.”

He felt, somewhat pathetic about the fact too. Being eighteen, never having his first kiss or first love when people his age had already had those experiences or were experiencing them. He hated being called a late bloomer for it. He watched so many romantic movies and would want what the main characters had so badly, he wanted to have it so bad but he had never really liked anyone until her.

“I’m shocked.” She admitted. “So many people liked you and you were so popular... I assumed you were much more experienced with those things because you just seemed...”

“Like a flirt?” He questioned. “I got that a lot, it never meant anything for the most part. I never had true feelings for anyone but you, I thought something was wrong with me before. I never wanted to give those things away because it meant nothing when those things are meant to special with someone special. In my mind, anyway. I was always weird for that.”

“I never took you as such a romantic.” She mumbled. “It’s nice and really sweet... Your soul is purer than I thought. You weren’t weird, Hyuck, just different and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s really heartwarming too.”

He smiled a bit at her words. Something was always able to reassure him and make him feel better about whatever it be. He noticed how her hand rested in his in that moment. It still managed to make his heart flutter whenever it happened as he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

“So,” He broke the silence. “I’m assuming you’d like your kiss now?”

She chuckled a bit, “Again, only if you’re comfortable giving it to me.”

He looked over at the mother who stood over in the kitchen. She had been there the whole time, just for once was she silent. She sighed as she closed her eyes and shrugged about the whole thing.

“I’m not going to win over you guys. Go ahead, I’ll leave.” She rolled her eyes before she walked to the back.

Donghyuck looked at Cosimia again, “Are you sure?”

She nodded, “I’d only trust you.”

“So, like, right now, right?” He asked.

“Yes, Hyuck.”

It really was not like how all the movies and books he read described what a first kiss would be like. It was incredibly awkward and tense but in a good, exciting way somehow. He found himself leaning in as he brought his hand to her cheek to cup it gently. He could feel his cheeks start to burn as his heart started to beat so loud he could hear and feel it in his own ears. The tips of his ears also started to go red the closer he got her lips. It was clear he was nervous, while she was more anticipate but still nervous. They had no idea what they were doing exactly, nothing they had seen in movies or anything would help the awkwardness. There was so much pressure for it to be perfect when it was near impossible. Though, that was something shared with most of not all first kisses, they’re awkward because it’s new and unknown, maybe that’s why it was exciting.

It was gentle and sweet, even if it was a bit messy they couldn’t really help it and they’d get better eventually. The girl never thought she’d be in that position, she never expected to enjoy any type of intimacy with anyone, especially not a man. He treated her so delicately, took everything slowly. She sighed into the kiss as she went up to touch his hand that rested on her cheek. It was addicting in the way she just wanted more. Something about it was just so full of love it was overwhelming good.

It felt like heaven to the both of them, that’s what matter. Too lost in their own world together, they hadn’t notice the trailer stopped and also the familiar voices that were just outside laughing. It was abrupt when they were interrupted by their door being swung open by Xiaojun which sent them flying to different ends of the couch as they looked to what startled them. They found their friends outside the door, the guy with freshly dyed yellow hair at the front of it. Guessing by the shocked looks on their faces, they saw.

“Oh,” Xiaojun blushed. “We didn’t- Anyway we’re here.”

“We’ll be going now.” Jaehyun said as he grabbed the door handle. “You just... met us when y’all ready. Good morning and happy birthday by the way, Cosimia.”

He quickly shut the door, so nonchalantly. They could hear their voices outside as soon as the door shut as they started to walk away.

“I told you it was only a matter of time, did anyone listen to me? No!” Hendery huffed.

“I’m surpised it took so long, honestly.” Jaemin confessed. “Their feelings were so obvious and the tension between them was so thick.”

“Shut up, they can probably hear you guys.” Kun gritted.

“Good. Congrats!” Yangyang yelled.

“I suggest what Kun said.” Jeno hissed.

“Good for them though.”

The both of them were blushing now from their friends comments made outside. They looked at each other from across the couch before they broke out laughing to ease the air around them. They got ready for that morning as they did have to work that day. They shared one last kiss, that went on longer than it should because the both of them got too lost in the bliss of each other before they went outside to set up.

“Where are you going?” Cosimia asked as she saw the boy go the opposite way of where they were suppose to be going.

“I’m going to go ask Johnny something real quick.” He answered, walking backwards. “I’ll be right, I’ll met you at our spot.”

Donghyuck saw the way she would struggle with the tarot cards everyday. It was nice to help her out but he didn’t like seeing her so frustrated to the point she was ready to cry. Since she had lost her ability, she had to take over his old job while he had a new position. His missed his tarot cards too from time to time but he didn’t want to see her like that on her birthday. She was able to get the whole day off for his birthday, surely Johnny could give them at least a few hours.

He eventually found the man in his own trailer, working on something that morning. It took him a moment to notice the boy.

“What are you doing here?” Johnny questioned.

“I need to ask you for a favor.” The younger boy said. “It’s Cosimia’s birthday, you know that, right? I want us to have a few hours off at least. I really want to make this day special for her...”

The older seemed to smile at the way the boy got nervous about asking the question, “Just take the whole day. Don’t ask questions either and I won’t either, go. I’ll take care of things.”

He shoved the boy out of his trailer and shut the door behind him. It left the boy in shock but also happiness that his boss said yes. Though he wondered why he did it with no issue. The man did say but to ask questions... He shrugged to himself before going on his way to find the girl.

He saw Cosimia struggling to set up their booth on her own which made him smile to himself. She didn’t even notice him for a moment but when she did she sighed.

“Can I get some help?” She huffed.

He laughed as he walked over to her and took the pole out of her hand to dropped it on the ground, “Johnny said we can go.”

“But-“ She started.

“He said not to ask questions and that he’d take care of it. Let’s go!”

“What did you do though?”

“It’s your birthday... I just asked if I could take to to breakfast or something and he gave us the whole day off. Even if you don’t want to go eat, we get out of work and we can do anything we want.”

“Is this a date?”

“Only if you want it to be.”

“Okay then, let’s go.”

She smiled as she wrapped his arms around one of his before walking away together. It was something so small that made his heart flutter once again...

Meanwhile, in a drugstore only a few miles away from where they were, a black haired boy was picking out sodas and junk food, still in his pajamas. Mark yawned as he approached the counter with his items. He was half asleep standing there, barely able to keep his eyes open as he heard the beep of the scanner. He looked at counter to find a small laminated standee with flimsy free tickets made for small children. The circus was back in town he guessed, a little late though...

Out of sheer curiosity he picked up the standee just to look at it as the cashier was still ringing up his items. The sign always had a picture of all the people that worked there, it seemed to have gotten a bit bigger and also younger that year. He looked over the unfamiliar faces until he got to the bottom row. His eyes widen at the sight and suddenly he was very much awake. The sight of what looked like his dead best friend and the girl he had died with, sitting and smiling there. The boy even rubbed his eyes and slapped himself a bit to make sure it hadn’t been a mind game.

It had been almost a year, how was that even possible? He wondered... They were still there though when he looked back at the picture. Despite their hair color changing and their style a bit too, the resemblance was too spot on... It was freaky as well.

“Excuse me, do you know when the circus is coming here?” He asked the cashier.

“It says right there on the sign.” She scoffed as she put everything in the bag. “Also, the total is 24.76.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He apologized while he rummaged through his pockets for money and immediately going back to intensely looking at the sign after giving her the money.

The previous date was crossed out and had that day’s date on it. The girl slid the bag across the counter to the college student.

“Your change is in the bag.” She sighed before walking away before he could even thank her.

He just put down the standee, took the bag and left. He had to go today... He had to know...

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