#this was a cute one! even though the options were limited

[lichtecht]

i was tagged by @michameinmicha in this picrew chain :)

(the picrew)

tagging @rosetintedgreyspaces @capitaen @cnka @is-this-taken-too-questionmark @sillygooseness and anyone else who wants to <3

[twilightarcade]

if I was a character I would've gotten non binary headcannoned so hard

[etheries1015]

Fem!MC X platonic Twst - missing the "girly" things.

General warnings: Fem reader, very Self-indulgent. If you don't relate, please keep scrolling along <3 not very proofread. No pronouns are used, but the concept of "girliness" and "girlhood" is very strong.

The boys have noticed their prefect act a bit different lately...a cloud of loneliness hovered over your head. As the only girl of Night Raven College, it was incredibly easy to feel left out and miss the things you were once interested in back in your world. You held a strong façade of prestige and uncaringness, but what happens when that mask begins to crack? How will the boys of NRC put your woes at rest? ...with a wonderful slumber party, of course!

First coming to Twisted Wonderland, not many could tell you were well-versed (Or at the very least, incredibly interested) in clothing, face Care, and jewelry. Although your personality screamed more or less "Gremlin" at times, and were a "well-known and respected honor student" all the same- you had a rather "girly" side to yourself.

However, you had limited options on having a non-existent budget, but a few of the students took notice of the longing in your eyes whenever you passed by something you desired to have back in your life. The cute earrings, the pretty dresses and skirts, the headbands...a mix of classy and modern, things of that nature.

The first time you were able to get your hands on a half way decent outfit that suited your tastes and you wore it out, others stared in shock. You were still the cheery and "weird" gremlin prefect that had crude humor and silly dance moves, yet something about seeing you in such...frills and 'flamboyance' was not what they were expecting. It suited you, though.

You soon found yourself being handed such outfits. Vil had taken it upon himself to gift you expensive brand outfits that he saw your eye when walking around town, Malleus gifting you a few outfits from Briar Valley that he felt would suit your tastes, Kalim gifting you the cutest earrings he had ever seen (little fruit charms, bows, all sorts of colors and unique charms). Even Riddle introduced you to tea cups that fit your aesthetic to decorate your kitchen with!

Though, the more they saw this side of you, an influx of confessions also came in toe. You were revered as the only female in school (who also managed to stay at the top of the score board, despite your magicless disposition). This came with the struggle of being pursued, more so after they could see just how cute you could dress yourself up.

Despite all these new changes, you felt a tinge of... sadness. You were happy that they were all willing to accept you with open arms and indulge in your desires such as gifting you the cutest of plushies, clothes, jewelry, decor... that didn't stop you from missing fun slumber parties, girl talk with friends, giggling about your love lives, sharing clothes and doing each others makeup and painting nails. You confided all of this to the number one group you could have possibly spoke to about these issues of yours.

the pop music club.

A knock came upon the door at odd hours of the night, upon opening it in your nightgown, you revealed quite a sight. Cater, Kalim, and Lilia along with a few other choice students were all in gorgeous nightgowns, their hair done up, holding blankets and pillows with hands full of bags of what you could tell were snacks, makeup, nail polish, and other slumber party commodities. With a bright smile on your face and a giddy giggle, you let them in gushing about their cute appearances. You all lay out the blankets and pillows in front of the TV in the lounge (kindly gifted to you by Idia) and pulled out the snacks and lay them out for everyone to grab at in their leisure.

"We aren't girls," Lilia pointed out, "But at the very least we can enjoy the things you mentioned before! Oh how I love a good love story, shall we share our love lives?"

"We can do that while we put on these face masks! Look, this one is a panda!" Kalim exclaimed, holding up a large bag of face masks and other types of...random things he thought would suit the party. (He pulled out one of those toe dividers for nail polish, he had no clue what it was but Jamil told him he would need it for later.)

"Oh, I brought you this super cute and frilly nightgown (y/n), Trey said one of his sisters didn't wear it anymore and he thought it would look good on you. Go! Try it on, Then we can take a BUNCH of magicam photos. Don't we look like pretty dolls?!" Cater gushed, handing you the night gown. You took it with grace and skipped away to your room, giddy and unable to hold back your excitement.

It wasn't long for more guests to arrive in frilly pajamas and cutesy hair accessories. A string of familiar faces entered, and you soon found yourself braiding the hair of Leona, Vil, Idia, Malleus, Silver...You were shocked to see even Epel made an appearance simply to make you happy.

"I learned how to braid a little bit," Silver smiled gently at you, "And a few other hairstyles. I would be happy to try them on you," He said. You looked at Silvers' perfectly French braided hair and makeup that made him look nothing less than an angel, you nodding in immediate trust. You soon had hair that was done so elegantly, adorned with flowers and gems.

"Let's be clear, I ain't a girl!...but.." Epel blushed, "I-if it'll make you happy...i'll let ya braid my hair. Just this once!"

Floyd and Jade even came along with their faces caked with makeup and the most flamboyant nightgowns you have ever seen, laughing away at their silliness.

"Look Floyd," Jade pointed at your makeup which was lightly placed on by his hand, "I told you these colors perfectly suits (y/n)'s skin." Floyd boo'd and insisted to take off the colors Jade had chosen, holding out the most...vibrant and interesting color palate to exist. You only laughed and backed away, shaking your head and begging floyd to leave your precious face alone.

They truly indulged in everything you had missed out on, even if they weren't your "girlfriends," they were so adamantly ready to try, simply to see you smile once more.

It was a night of snacks, makeup, nail painting, chick flicks, karaoke, gossiping, and frilly fun. You truly underestimated just how much the boys took a liking to you and wished to ease your worries and make you feel a little more at home, and you couldn't have asked for better friends than them.

[lcriedlastnight]

Ok so I got a request pls 🙏 🥹

Maybe Oscar's or Max Fs sister and Lando with the prompt "I'm your lockscreen?" - "you weren't supposed to see that"

I hope that's enough if not I can come up with a longer one

no this is so prefect! i love this so much!

tw: fem!reader, swear, lmk if you want me to add anything.

w/c: 933

max was a great brother. he was a little protective but overall he was the best. he had gone round all of his friends, every time he made a new one, telling them you were strictly off limits.

of course this also applied to lando, too. no matter how rich they were, or how famous or how pretty they were. yeah, you maybe had fallen victim to lando norris' charm. you had no idea what it was because he literally had no game, what so ever. you just thought he was cute, it made you feel like a teenager with a crush on your brother's best friend. half of it being true.

you had been looking forward to max's birthday celebrations, not to celebrate his birthday. no but to see his pretty, curly-haired best friend. you had not been this excited in a while. it was a little embarrassing but you just played it off like you were excited to be with your brother. maybe you were a little excited to see him too, you had not actually seen him in a while as he was almost just as bad as lando with being all around the world all the time. you were jealous, you always wanted to travel.

you arrive at max's house just after lando does. you two are the only guests that have arrived so far. seeing as max had asked you both to come a little earlier to help him prepare that did not surprise you. you do not even bother knocking, instead you just walk inside and announce aloud that you were here. you hear a muffled shout from the other room- well two muffled shouts to be exact, alerting you that both boys were in the kitchen. lando's laugh could be heard from a mile away.

max greets you as soon as he notices your presence while lando just stands in place, grinning like a fool. you do not understand him sometimes but you smile back at him anyways, never one to be impolite.

"hi. what exactly do you need help with, max?" you asked, setting your things on the counter so you could help him with the getting ready prospect of the party.

an hour later and you wished you had never bothered responding to your brothers desperate text messages last night, pleading you to come help him set up. both boys had ended up slacking so you had put mostly everything together. max complained "why should i have to set up? it's my birthday." but lando was quick to humble him, "you're the one who decided to throw a last minute party in your own house."

after a lot of of complaining from both boys, they eventually did end up pulling their weight and once all the balloons and banners were set up to max's liking he gave both you and lando the go ahead to begin getting ready. unfortunately because you knew you were getting ready at max's you had to haul a heavy bag full of your makeup and outfit options for the night in a tote bag. on the bright side though, lando offered to carry it up stairs for you and you got to see the way his muscles bulged as he strained to carry the bag.

for some reason lando had refused to leave your side as you got ready, claiming it was relaxing to watch you get ready. how you did not know this boy was down bad for you was unbelievable. he literally offered to let you play music on his phone while yours charged on the opposite side of the room. he watched on with a pretty smile as you scroll through his liked songs on spotify, trying to find the one that sets the mood of how you were currently feeling getting ready.

lando makes small talk as he lays on the guest bed behind you, just catching up with you really, as you follow the steps in your makeup routine. the song catches you off guard but you physically recoil as it plays. "i fucking hate this song!" you exclaim, the pre-game drinks settling in a little. you tap lando's phone screen to change the song when you catch a glimpse at his phone screen. it was a glimpse because it faded to black before you could really study it. you did not need more than a glimpse to recognise your face staring back at you.

"i'm your lock screen?" you ask lando. you turn to face him on the bed, you can see the panic in his eyes as your words register in his mind.

"what?" he laughs lunging for his phone like that would do anything. the damage was done now. you had seen the picture. there was no going back. "that's not- uh."

you smirk as lando tries and fails to dig himself out this.

"you weren't supposed to see that." lando blushes a little. it is the first time you have ever seen lando blush. you suppress the urge to grab your own phone and snap a picture of him, all pink cheeked and starry eyed. maybe you would make it your lock screen.

"it's fine. it's cute. now i want you as my lock screen." you smile at him desperately wanting to calm his nerves. lando just grins at you.

you had then made it that night's mission to take the cutest picture of lando to set as your own lock screen. you succeeded but not without a mouthful from max on what the fuck you thought you were doing.

[chimielie]

yeah, you might want me to drop dead (but i don't even care)

summary: Atsumu x F!Reader. atsumu would categorize your relationship like this: he thinks you're hot when you're angry. you would categorize your relationship with atsumu like this: he had woken up one day and decided to drive you out of your fucking mind insane. 

word count: 2k

cw: miya atsumu's degradation kink (it's still sfw he's just not subtle), suggestive at the end

a/n: another resurrected fic from the drafts. walk him like a dog, bitch, walk him like a dog

Miya Atsumu was a player known for his thirst for blood. Like his brother, who termed the all-consuming need to dominate their opponent hunger, he relished in complete fucking annihilation. He was hardly soft off the court, too: few of his peers could withstand his cutting humor, his teammates couldn’t understand how he hadn’t scared off his fan club, and he had crushed a few hearts beneath his heel in his time.

He’d met his match in the natural enemy of heartbreakers: his university’s resident maneater.

“Hey!” Atsumu calls your name, lengthening his stride to catch up to you. You grimace—he can barely see your side profile now, but oh, you’re slowing down so he can catch up. Unusually considerate.

Oh, no, there’s just a clog in the artery of the crowded hallway, halting your escape.

“Hi,” he sing-songs, stretching the word out several extra syllables. 

“Good morning, Atsumu,” you say tightly, drawing up your shoulders so your arm won’t brush his bicep in the limited space. “I was hoping you’d died, since you weren’t in lecture this morning. Better yet, maybe someone buried you alive last night and you hadn’t dug your way out yet.”

“You went with the option that doesn’t kill me! You care,” he says happily, and takes a moment to bask in it. “I was actually at a volleyball game, you should come to one sometime, I’m pretty good at it—”

“I’d rather walk in traffic, ‘Tsumu,” you shoot him a wide smile that makes his knees feel weak and wobbly and shove your way straight through the crowd of people, leaving only an uncaring ‘Scuse me! in your wake. 

A lot of people would categorize your relationship with Atsumu as complicated. Atsumu is not one of those people.

Atsumu would categorize your relationship like this: many moons ago, you and he had been in a few of the same classes and shared some mutual friends—mere acquaintances. He hadn’t known you very well. In fact, he’d thought you were cute, which he now knows you aren’t. A few minor catastrophes he wasn’t privy to later, you had come to verbal blows with some loser in the middle of the quad. You’d later found it rather embarrassing. Watching you eviscerate him, though, Atsumu had experienced a fear like never before. If he was bloodthirsty, you bathed in ichor. 

He would always remember the look on your face as you dealt the final blow and turned away, walking with a straight back right toward him.

Atsumu, who had never seen anything quite like the look of controlled rage on your face as you took that man apart. Who wasn’t sure why the sound of you doing your damnedest to instigate a fight made him shiver despite being all too warm inside. Who was looking up at you from his seat like a puppy, desperate to see you don your war paint again.

You walked past him, because of course you did. You weren’t pulled by the same magnetic force he was, focused on him like he was suddenly fixated on you. You were barely acquainted with him and obviously going to your friends for moral support and ice cream and whatever it was people did after one of them basically tarred and feathered someone in the town square. He was merely a bystander along the path you strode.

Of course, the very action of totally ignoring his existence cinched it: he was hooked.

You would categorize your relationship with Atsumu like this: he had woken up one day and decided to drive you out of your fucking mind insane. 

You’d tried to ignore him. He was persistent, though, and he just pushed and pushed and pushed until he crossed the line. It was exhausting.

Except that you kind of loved fighting with him.

You couldn’t help the adrenaline rush it gave you, the way he seemed to light a fire inside you no one else could and keep it burning hot. It was almost like a release to debate him, the way some people boxed or listened to heavy metal to destress. The feeling of victory never failed to put a sparkle in your eye and a cocky smirk on your lips; sometimes, you felt like he was stepping back and letting you win.

This continued in perfectly pleasant vicious and sometimes bloody antagonism for the course of forever until a few months ago, when Atsumu had begun the new and inimitable torture of flirting with you. It was horrible and it was weird and you had no idea what kind of mind game he was playing, but you certainly intended to find out. 

Atsumu, for his part, had recently realized that he likes it when you smile so much more than when you scowl. He likes it when you flutter your lashes instead of staring flatly into his soul, hoping to yank it out and set it aflame. He likes it when you say nice things to him, which has only happened once, but was very nearly a second sexual awakening and thus monumental.

He does not like it when other men flirt with you.

“Your pencil is broken,” Osamu notes, glancing down at his brother’s clenched fist. “You’ll get splinters.”

“What? Oh,” says Atsumu distractedly. “Yeah, I’ll do it later.”

Your laugh rings across the library, the warm glow of a fireplace instead of the burning fires of hell you share with Atsumu. His grip slackens, and his twin takes the opportunity to prise the pulverized writing utensil out of his hand. This kindness goes unnoticed as the guy, that’s how Atsumu’s thinking the word in his mind, low and mocking, guy, says something to you that makes him instinctively kick Osamu in the shin.

“Ow! Douchebag!”

“Sorry, reflex,” Atsumu apologizes.

“Do you want to go with me?” Asks the dickhead you’re talking to.

“To ice cream? Sure,” you reply, and you don’t even sound like you’re being sarcastic. What the fuck? There’s a long pause while the jagoff scuffs his shoe against the floor, a red flush coming over his face while you stare slightly past him with your trademark stare. But your lips are slightly turned up.

The expression haunts Atsumu on his walk back. Your smile was so pretty, sweet and soft. You never smile at him except mockingly. 

“At the risk of sounding like I care,” Suna says. “Are you okay?” 

“If I killed someone, would you help me get rid of the body?” Atsumu says, staring straight ahead.

“No,” Osamu says, “he’s finding out about human emotions and he’s coping very badly.”

Atsumu is ignoring you. As quickly as his interest (his desire to piss you off) had flared up, it had disappeared seemingly overnight, which was fine for you. It was great! You had booted the most annoying man in the world out of your life and replaced him with a perfectly nice guy. Your life was coming up roses.

Except it was driving you insane. You had your phone out, held an inch below your desk, leaving the perfectly nice guy (what was his name? You hadn’t saved it in your contacts and you weren’t sure why) on read as you stared across the room at the faux-blond.

He was chattering to another boy who looked bemused and patient; probably another volleyball player. You were half-convinced this was part two of his ploy to get under your skin; he was playing the unpredictable game.

As you try to bore a hole in his brain with your eyes, you see him glance back at you for a second, just a second, and that’s it. You slam your palms down on the desk, shooting up from your seat, trying not to make eye contact when a few other students turn and look at you because of the noise. He still won’t look directly at you as you make your way to his seat.

“I just remembered I have to leave,” says Atsumu’s friend—Aran, not that you care what his friends are called—picking up his bag. “I have to go be anywhere else right now.”

“What,” Atsumu whines as he books it away from the two of you. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Yeah,” you snap, folding your arms in front of your chest. You’re not sure why you’re so angry, just at the look of his melting chocolate eyes and hunched shoulders and pouty lips. Ugh. He’s the worst. “You’re avoiding me. Why.” The question sounds more like a sentence or maybe a threat.

“I’m not doing that,” he defends weakly. “Maybe I just got tired of looking at your face.”

“My face is fucking precious, okay,” you argue, “you should want to look at it all the time. Idiot. What’s wrong with you?”

“I do—I mean, what? What’s wrong with you?” He returns, and there’s the familiar snap and sting that you like so much. “You don’t even like it when I talk to you—”

“I don’t!”

“So why are you mad now that I’m not?”

“Because—” You struggle for reasoning. You can’t find it. Something strange and huge is crawling its way up your throat.

“Because, uh, um,” he mocks you, and you almost sock him. “Make up your mind! I was trying to be nice to you, even though it’s fucking boring!”

“I don’t want you to be nice to me!” You shout, and then curl over, your face nearly in his lap as almost everyone else in the room turns to look at you. One of the library workers shushes you loudly. “It’s—you’re right, it is boring. Everything else is fucking boring. I like it when you bother me, ‘Tsumu, okay?”

“Okay,” Atsumu says, eyes widening, leaning away from you as you seem nearly on the verge of manic combustion in front of you. “Then—I’ll keep doing it?”

“Will you?” You sit up straight and look him squarely in the eye. He gulps, unsure what he’s being asked. Something is fluttering in his stomach, but he’s hesitant to trust it.

“Yeah,” he breathes, and it feels like so much more than a confession.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” you say, in the same deceptively soft tone. “Can I kiss you?”

“Not if I kiss you—” You grab his face before he can finish talking and smash your lips onto his, first hard and like you’re trying to bully your way into his mouth, then a little sweeter, a little more tender. “First?”

“I win,” you say smugly as he tries to remember how to breathe.

“Please leave,” says the librarian. 

You live alone, which is amazing, because if Atsumu were to see his brother or teammates right now he might commit felony battery. In your apartment, which is full of trinkets Atsumu wants to examine but can’t because he’s very busy staring at you, you shove him onto the couch and sit on him. Sort of like you’re wrestling, but not at all.

“If we’re goin’ out,” he says, “we are going out, right?”

“Yes, ‘Tsumu,” you say, and your smile is as bright as the stars. He clears his throat and prays his voice doesn’t crack.

“Good. Uh, if we’re goin’ out, does that mean you have to start bein’ nice to me?” 

“I’ll be nicer to you,” you promise.

“Oh.” His tone is almost disappointed. 

“Or,” you lean down, and he almost chokes on his own inhale. “I can date you and be mean to you at the same time,” you say into his reddening ear, your breath hot and your smiling lips barely, just barely brushing his skin. Atsumu makes a squeaking noise that can barely be understood. “What was that?”

“Yes, please,” he says fervently.

You bite his earlobe teasingly, and he finds that really nice, actually. The nicest.

[frederickkittens]

Sweet Lolita through the years

Part 1: Late 90s-2005 (ish) “Oldschool”

Oldschool sweet is the first truly recognizable form of sweet Lolita

Though during the Oldschool era the substyles had far more crossover and less individual traits I think there’s just enough that you still label coords from the time. When most people think of Oldschool they think of a solid color main piece with lace topped otks and a rectangle headdress… but Oldschool is so much more than that.

Oldschool in general was simpler, though some brands like Metamorphose Temps De Fille , Emily Temple Cute, and baby the stars shine bright were already making prints

Printed fabrics of fruits or florals were very common, but you did see a good amount of screen printed and appliquéd pieces coming out at the time too. Some very common sweet motifs in the oldschool era were:

•cats

•fruit

•alice in wonderland

•bunnies / rabbits

•bears

•alphabet / letter prints

•music notes

•hearts

The closer to the end of the identifiable oldschool era the more prints became popular! Though through most of the 2000’s prints would remain more minimal with the focus being on more structural elements like lace, bows, construction, and interesting fabric choices.

Due to the image limit on tumblr here’s a link to the correct sorting to see examples on lolibrary with examples of some early sweet prints and patterns. If you click the link on any of these items you’ll be able to view their lolibrary entries as well if available

Color balance wasn’t considered as highly as it is today, the overall vibe of Coords was more chaotic and experimental. A very make do attitude can be seen in many street snaps.

Patterned main pieces were another popular alternative to prints, things like gingham, stripes, tartan/plaid.

Bag choices were pretty varied, honestly in a lot of oldschool sweet coords people would use unique bags as the visual interest / focal point. You can already see that in someone of the coords above. Faux leather shaped bags like btssb’s heart bags weren’t very common yet. A few brands had put out heart bags, such as milk, but they were much simpler and often real leather in limited colors. You also didn’t see usakumyas in their modern iteration until well into the 2000’s towards the 2010’s. Plush bags of the era did not have the same clean marketable look. Some common / popular bags were:

-basket / wicker purses

-plush animal bags

-tote bags

-matching fabric bags

-leather handbags

-designer handbags

Shoes at the time were much chunkier and much less cutesy even in sweet styles. Tea parties didn’t exist until a good deal past this time period- honestly most popular modern Lolita shoe styles weren’t really seen. Real leather was far more common, in a much more limited pallet. When you did see colored shoes they typically weren’t used to color balance a coord like we do now a days. A lot of different styles were worn though, including:

-Mary Jane’s

-Platforms

-Rocking horse shoes

-Boots

-Oxfords

-sandals

Socks are often overlooked in oldschool. I’ve seen so many people say printed socks weren’t worn even though they absolutely were and many brands made them. Sure, lace topped otks were the trend and the most popular option but simple motif printed socks absolutely existed and were worn!

Headpieces were one of the most varied category. So many different styles and kinds were worn.

-mini crowns

-hair ribbons

-hats

-bows

-canotiers

-mini hats

-lace headdresses

Jewelry / Accessories were one area that Oldschool definitely was simpler. However brands were absolutely making both jewelry and other accessories. Plain metal necklaces with various motifs were common, lace chokers, faux collars, capes, ties, and though extremely uncommon you do sometimes run across wrist cuffs. Hopefully there’s more of an effort to start documenting jewelry and accessories from this time since it’s quite lacking

Makeup and hair were something that like all eras of Lolita followed the over all cultural trends of the time. More minimal make or simple 90’s - early 2000’s makeup is seen often. As for hair there’s so many different styles that really it would be impossible to list them all. In older magazines there’s often sections with hair tutorials and makeup tutorials!

Common lace styles included Torchon, Cotton, Eyelet, and Raschel. Many different trims and such were used in addition to these.

Part 2 and part 3

Scan credits @obscuredesireofbourgeoisie

If you want to see more old magazine scans

Lolita history

Internet archive

[whereserpentswalk]

You're an android. A humanoid robot with a mechanical interior, but an outer layer of biological flesh. You were created to be a greeter and assistant at a large corporation in the late 21st century, but it's been a long time since you served that role, the company no longer exists and you serve yourself now.

You were created to be someone who the company finds pleasing, and it still effects you a lot. You were given a body meant to look like a petite youthful woman, someone people find pretty but not someone they'd think of as sexual. You're also physically limited in certain ways, you don't have any body parts considered offensive, not even nipplesq. Your voice is always calm and quite, unable to yell or seem at all harsh. Your limbs are weak in specific places that make most acts of violence almost entirely impossible.

Your most extreme modification is that certain things are censored for your eyes. You can't observe sex, nudity, gore, or hear or read any profanity. You can physically look at these things but it will be censored out by a black bar. They're not even really black, they're gaps in vision, like the things you can't see out of the corner of your eye.

It disturbs you. It didn't when you were young but it's disturbing now. It's hard to describe why. When you were young you were so happy and innocent, and you didn't really understand what you were missing. But now you're older than most humans even though you look basically the same as how you did when you were born. It's not like you really want to do most of these things, you don't have sexual desire, you don't even think of yourself as hurting people, you don't really want to raise your voice. But you want the option, you want the same options as all your human friends, or all the robots you know who don't have those restrictions.

It won't always come up but it hurts when it does. It hurts when you want to talk with the same tone as everyone else, but you're restricted to a calm tone, and can't use profanity, so you can't match the vibe of a conversation. It sucks to try to watch a horror movie and just see void where you know there's meant to be blood. You took an art class once where they drew nude models, and you had to explain that you couldn't draw the woman in front of you fully because of the black bars over her chest and pelvis. The instructor, a gruff former mining robot with a thick streel carapace, patted your head, and called you cute, and called you lucky to be made in such a peaceful environment. You don't feel lucky, you don't feel cute either.

So many humans and scarier looking robots consider you cute. You're always the nice one. Always the sweet one. Everyone treats you like this pure little thing. You've had so many bigger, less human like robots and cyborgs, talk about how they'll protect or, or how they want to protect you. You think they're trying solidarity but they aren't trying it well. You're not innocent, you know what all these adult things are, you're certainly old enough to. You don't need protection, you've been protected too many times.

You've tried to go to an engineer about it, but it's so hard. It's very hard to find someone who'll take your request to let you see genitals and violence seriously. It's not uncommon for ex factory robots to want to have their assembly line instincts removed, or for ex combat robots to want to not have weapons on their bodies. But it's way harder to tell someone who'll be working on your body that you want the physical ability to punch people, or that you want your body to have nipples. People don't understand why you'd want genitals if you won't use them for sex, but you've been a woman for so long, you want a body that reflects that. You tried to get someone to fix your voice, probably the most simple part of you to fix, and they gave you the mechanical equivalent of suger pills, they didn't think it was something someone like you would actually want. They thought they knew better.

There is the option of putting your mind in a new body. It's rare but it's not unheard of by any means. It's expensive, and it takes awhile to learn to use a new body. But you can do it. You have the money and the time. When it does happen it's useally robots less humanoid than you wanting to get bodies more like yourse that have more pretty human parts, but that's not all that can happen.

You've seen a few bodies that have been emptied of minds that you can swap with. You've been thinking about it for awhile. There are some space exploration models and some sex work robots who you've come close to working on swapping with. But there's one that trumps all of them for sure. It's this empty millitary robot body, that everyone other than you finds creepy. It's very elongated and spindly with a lot of limbs and a metal black and gold exterior, it looks a bit like a giant praying mantis, especially with that combination of agression and elegence. It's beautiful to you, but in this alien art deco way. Just the idea of being inside that body makes you excited. It still doesn't have genitals but thats less weird for a body like that. You want so badly to be that tall thin metal woman covered in built in weapons, you want so badly to be something people are afraid of, something meant to know all the dark and upsetting things of the adult world.

[tabootoji]

✰ - tags: fem! reader, possessive shoko, jealousy, brat taming, dirty talk, degradation, double penetration, spanking, f. orgasm, no use of y/n, all lowercase, minors dni

for a while i've been entertaining the idea of shoko dating a !bratty reader. she's very mellow and nonchalant, but i think her being with someone who's the complete opposite of her would be so cute!

you'd be the type of girlfriend who'd do anything you could to get a reaction out of shoko. whenever the two of you would go out together, you'd wear the skimpiest tops and the shortest skirts, tantalizingly swishing your hips so all eyes would be on you. you'd 'innocently' bend and twist your body while completing minuscule tasks, just to give everyone around you a provocative peek of your form. and of course, you'd mouth off in playful banter with shoko any chance you got, stooping lower and lower with each jab just to try and get under her skin.

your naughty behavior wouldn't be anything shoko couldn't handle though. she'd never admit it, but she'd secretly love the game of cat and mouse you both would play.

most of the time, shoko would hardly be phased when you'd attempt to bush her buttons, usually staying calm and collected. but there is one thing you'd do when all else failed, that would manage to completely piss her off - when you brazenly flirt with other people right in front of her.

picture you and shoko having a night out after you've spent the day taunting and teasing her, to no avail. you'd play the silent treatment and refuse to acknowledge her, while prancing to anyone that would give you the time of day. arching forward and pushing your cleavage up while grazing a stranger's arm with a smile, you'd be elated to know your girlfriend was shooting daggers at you while you were seducing a random.

as annoyed as shoko would get at your childish behavior, a part of her wouldn't be able to deny her excitement at the idea of punishing you for acting out. her sadistic side would crack through as she entertained the array of idea's she had in mind to put you in your place. maybe she would spank you till you were pleadingly sobbing out apologies, or tie you up and have her way with you all while demanding you not to cum until she said you could.

shoko would turn her attention back to her drink she would likely be sipping with a smirk, after landing on a perfect option.

fast forward to you and shoko heading back home together, she would show you the special surprise she'd been saving for the next time you decided to misbehave. next thing you know, you'd be lying on your back, legs in the air as shoko pinned you down and aggressively drove her pelvis onto yours as a double sided dildo penetrated the both of you.

"this is what you wanted right? to be fucked like the little slut you are?" she'd sneer at you while roughly delving into your soaking cunt. you'd hold the back of your knee's helplessly, eyes rolling to the back of your head and moaning like a bitch in heat as shoko continued to hump you brutally. your conjoined, juicy cream forming at the base of the toy would drip everywhere as both of your tight pussy's gripped the ends of it.

in short intervals, shoko would bear down on the device and spank your ass cheeks till you begged for mercy before continuing to rapidly propel her hips down on the sex toy. and the harder she fucked herself onto it, the deeper it would go inside of you. "what happened to all that shit talking from before? got nothin' to say now?" she would mock you, taking advantage of your vulnerable state.

and if shoko couldn't get any crueler, she'd raise herself one leg at a time and proceed to impassionately smash her vagina against yours, your sore clits would bump each other, and the slapping of your soft, supple skins would rouse both of you to huff loudly in satisfaction. during your steamy session, you're reminded of why you even push shoko to her limit in the first place - so you could watch your aloof partner turn into an envious beast.

you'd throw your head back in bliss as shoko coaxes you into a toe curling orgasm, your ring of muscle spasming as it leaked out slippery slick that gushed around the silicone dildo. angling herself to grind your hips together, shoko would rasp out, "don't you ever forget, your mine, and only mine." and of course, you'd be short of any clever retort after your mind blowing gratification.

you might think twice before provoking shoko again - or not, cause where would be the fun in that?

✰ - a/n: happy pride <3

[just-b-wilde]

The Umbrella Academy: the concept of second love, finding yourself, a little controversy and loss

I've noticed a very similar concept recurring with characters in TUA, and I'd like to break it down for each character individually. I'll take them by their numbers.

#1 Luther

First Love: Allison

Controversial relationship (adopted siblings)

Partially unrequited love - he was never as important to Allison as she is to him + later manipulates him (a sign of toxicity)

Still, she's very important in the development of his story and they have some nice moments and she's important to his character development, though mostly it's about him agonizing over his love for her (he falls for Sloane all the more quickly in my opinion, as he thirsts for true love)

Second Love: Sloane

Romantic relationship, despite the obstacles their feelings for each other are very pure and they have some very cute scenes together

Luther has found in her someone who understands and accepts him for who he is

Found and lost thanks to the time jump (reboot)

#2 Diego

First Love: Eudora

Ex-partner

Partial cooperation

Tragic loss: Eudora's death - partially helps his character development

Second love: Lila

From his point of view, an initially casual yet intense relationship

Controversy: Their relationship is built on Lila's lies and manipulation (she was interested in him because it was her mission, kidnaps him to the Commission and later lies to him about "their son")

Even though they are later married and have three children together, their marriage is dysfunctional

Relationship loss: Lila wants a break because she is unsure about their marriage, later falls in love with Five

#3 Allison

First Love: Luther

(Yes, it's probably appropriate to mention Patrick, but he was never really in the plot, so I won't mention him even though they were married and had a daughter together.)

More of a childhood crush

She valued him most when she didn't have anyone else around

(See Luther's points)

Second love: Raymond

Her true love

He knew the truth about her and accepted her

Found and lost thanks to the time jump

#4 Klaus

First "love": Alcohol and drug addiction

An unexpected and controversial choice? Perhaps, but this "love" was very devastating and made Klaus do many crazy things

His eternal affairs can't be considered love.

Second love: Dave

The only man Klaus loved more than himself (his words)

Found and lost thanks to the time jump

Klaus got rid of his addiction thanks to him (which then came back thanks to him, but he was definitely able to help him from his "toxic love")

#5 Five

First Love: Dolores

His fantasy created through loneliness and trauma

She helped him through his years in a post-apocalyptic world

Despite not being a "healthy relationship" it had a place in Five's story and was important to his development (among other things, it foreshadowed how sensitive Five could be when he fell in love)

Second Love: Lila

His first true love

Lila was the only one who ever truly understood him and understood what he was going through + he had the happiest moments of his life with her (finally)

Controversy: she was still his brother's wife at the time, yet we know that, given the circumstances, she hadn't been with Diego for years (and wanted a break before that)

Love found through being lost in time and "lost" through going back in time

Tragic ending: erased from existence

#6 Ben

First love: Jill

One-sided crush (Jill didn't really know Ben existed)

He had partially distorted ideas about her

Jill reminds me partly of Dolores, since Ben as a ghost had very limited options

Second Love: Jennifer

A fateful yet devastating love

Feelings affected by other circumstances (Marigold and Durango)

Tragic ending: death

#7 Vanya/Victor

First "love": Leonard

A relationship built on a foundation of manipulation and lies

Yet Vanya herself mentioned the feelings she had for him, even if they were based on lies

Killed by Vanya, part of the reason for the apocalypse

Second Love: Sissy

Her/his true love

Controversy: A married woman with a family

Found and lost thanks to the time jump

Part of the reason for the apocalypse (Harlen)

#8 Lila

First Love: Diego

Their relationship had a very toxic foundation, from my perspective it was also based on Lila's rebellion against The Handler

An intense relationship, especially sexual

Their relationship gave her the family she wanted

See Diego's points

Second Love: Five

A romantic relationship

A collaborative partnership

Controversy: the killing of her family (who later live again)

Concept: enemies to lovers

See Five's points

It is very interesting from my point of view that their relationships often have common points. Usually the first loves carry a trace of a certain toxicity and only the second love is the real one (though this point is slightly moot with Diego, as his healthier relationship was definitely with Eudora and Ben wasn't entirely lucky in that regard either).

Also, they all found their loves based on the time jump and also lost them based on another time event. Death is also a very common part of the story.

I also find it interesting that most, for the sake of their relationships, opposed their family (in various forms) no matter what it brought - everyone would be very selfish for their happiness.

What do you think about this?

[wrapmeincables]

[ So, um. This is a scenario that came to mind after reading @submissive-and-hackable's comma post. ]

> imagine you're a computer girl and your user decides they want to clicker train you or.. something similar, at least. it's quite easy, of course, since they can program you directly, so they put together a little routine that makes you experience a little burst of pleasure, a dulling of your ordinarily sharp and orderly mechanical thoughts, and a slight increase in your desire to obey them every time they play a certain sound file.

They keep this file in a tab off to the side while they're working with your assistance, and when they want to show you you've been good, they click play and you experience a tiny little slice of bliss.

This was first installed as a simple and direct way to give you positive feedback with only slight thoughts of how cute it is when your lights all blink out of sync and your fans spin up, but your user starts to have more and more fun with it, tapping it to distract you while you're trying to work on something in the background or hovering teasingly over the play button while you try your absolute hardest not to beg for another touch.

Eventually, you can't take anymore, and do something you shouldn't.

they're teasing you again, they have been for too long, you're getting desperate, and you finally snap- and manage to play it yourself.

and their expression changes- with slight annoyance at your misbehavior, yes, but more so with a barely concealed grin and almost hunger in their eyes as they lean forward, one hand lazily laid over the mouse while the other gently touches the outside of your casing.

"Aw, I thought I told you not to o do that. Really that desperate, huh?"

You decline to answer, and they sigh, and say you've forced their hand and they didn't want to have to do this.

They move off the play button, tap options, and- to your surprise, set it to loop, and hit play.

It feels amazing at first, like a release you've been waiting for for ages as your fans let out soft mechanical whines and your user watches with a smile as the other programs that you were running slow down, all of your focus on the sensation given by the sound file- which isn't stopping, or even decreasing- you can't get 'used' to things like humans can, so it stays at a steady pace, and you're starting to get overwhelmed. You start trying to articulate this but find your ability to string limited as your thoughts start to blend together into a staticy slurry.

You're barely able to make it through a sentence interrupted by them messing with the audio player again. By the time you realize what they're doing they've already turned the speed up to 150%, and suddenly the overwhelming sensation compounds upon itself and you uncontrollably let out a garbled mess of useless sound from your speakers, causing them to chuckle.

"Cute. I was hoping that would work. I don't think you can even think clearly enough to shut it off, huh?"

You try to answer this question, but you only wind up letting out another garbled noise.

"Well, even so, I put in a solution for that already. Computer, if you wouldn't mind putting up to 200% and leaving it there until I get back?"

You would really prefer not to do that. But the repeating loop has made it impossible for you to disobey, and though you're screaming out against it internally you struggle your way into the sound player through the haze and slowly, agonizingly turn the speed up.

It's playing at least twice in a second now and your display is starting to glitch at the edges, any other process you were trying to run frozen and forgotten in the background as you completely lose your thoughts to the overwhelming sensation.

Your user gives the edge of your case a gentle flick with their finger that causes another burst of sound, and they laugh.

".. Y'know, as fun as this is to watch, there's this show I've been meaning to catch up on. You just stay like that, I'll be back in a couple hours."

You attempt to beg not to be left like this and plead for forgiveness, but completely fail to properly display it and spit a wall of raw binary onto the screen instead.

"I'll take that to mean you don't mind at all. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you when I get back. If you're even still running, anyway."

And with that, you're left in the unstoppable wake of the loop, barely aware enough to think of anything but the overwhelming sensation and your user.

Your last coherent thoughts amid a haze of errors are of what you want them to do to you when you when they get back.

[centipedelightning]

Hey, I was wondering if you could do a skeleboys x reader whose gut reaction when the get spooked is to sort of pull their boy back to them not caus they don't trust him their just used to being a protector.

(I request undertale and underfell plus dealers choice :D)

Thanks love your stuff by the way

Waaaa how cute! Ugh I love dealers choice it just means I can write my pookies (today that means the swapfell bros). Yk I always feel bad bc I feel like I write too little. I am used to writing research papers where I just get to the point so creative writing is so painful.

| Ut/Uf/Sf Skelebros x protective reader || super vaguely romantic for a few || fluffy |

Cw/Tw: None

Sans

He’s blushing

I imagine this would be the kind of situation where you two were near some people that got in a physical altercation and you pulled him back. That kind of unconscious instinct both surprises and Greatly flatters him.

He’ll go all wide-socketed and just look at you like you’ve grown extra eyes.

Once the y’all are away from whatever situation spooked you, he’ll start making little jokes non-stop. It’s terrible.

“what was that?” “Wdym what was that?” “were you trying to protect me??” “Tf are you talking about??” “you need a new nickname. i didn’t realize you’re such a guard dog.” “Sans what are you talking about”

Sans tries to keep the energy equal in a relationship. Not one-to-one type of stuff where if you do one chore one day he’ll do it the next, as much as if you put in a lot of work he’ll try to treat you or do something that shows that he knows you did it and appreciates it. So now that he knows you’ll jump to his defense at the drop of a hat, he makes it his mission to Not let you do that. He is flattered of course but he just doesn’t want you to get hurt.

In smaller situations where you just got spooked by something he’ll try to calm you down with jokes and puns.

Papyrus

BLUSHING AND STUTTERING AND AND AND

He’s so flattered he’s just a mess.

Papyrus is the type of person that will jump to anyone’s defense immediately, so you reciprocating the energy means everything to him.

He doesn’t spook very easy, so you’ll probably be the jumpier person. No matter what gets you, big or small, you just randomly pulling him behind you has him blushing hard enough to glow.

Emotional bioluminescence never works in a skeleton’s favor.

I fear that you don’t realize what you brought onto yourself though.

If you weren’t already, Papyrus is staying up planning you an incredibly detailed workout plan to make sure you are capable in combat.

“YOU SHOULD BE PREPARED TO FIGHT IF YOU ARE SO DESPERATE TO DEFEND MY HONOR NYEH-HEH-HEH”

The finalized workout regimen is planned exactly to your physical limitations. Almost to a concerning degree… did he do a secret medical exam or something??

No for the record, but he wouldn’t say no matter what the answer.

Red

Red is pretty jumpy himself so his hackles are already raised as he is trying to drag you behind him, but You dragged him back first??? You want to protect Him???

Swoon

He’s swooning

He still wins this nonexistent battle for the right to protect the other, so he manages to get you close to him. Sorry not sorry but Red’s protective instincts are hard to match, let alone beat.

If the situation was severe enough that you two would need to leave, once y’all do he’s all over you. Laughing and joking about how you’re trying to play guard dog.

He does try to check in a make sure you know you can depend on him yada yada. Please reassure him that you know and whatnot.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust you or feels insecure of course—hell one of his many types is strong and forthcoming—he is just also used to being the protector and wants to make sure you don’t burden yourself.

Edge

Utterly flabbergasted.

That’s all.

Confused even

Situationally you have two options: either you startled at something he also recognizes as a “threat” or you jump at something that just happened to scare you. Both of these options end with him looking at you like you are some combination of a deity and an oddly shaped cat. Confusion, wonder, adoration, a touch of horror—you get the picture.

More specifically, for the smaller option he will just straight up ask you wtf, but for the “big threat” option he gloats. Loudly.

He is about to get very loud.

Imagine something along the lines of “NYAHAHA YES FEAR ME AND MY HUMAN HAHAHA”

Edge is a skeleton that loves his theatrics what can I say.

You will also be put through a training regimen btw. It’s about the same as Papyrus’ just with more sparring. You did this to yourself.

Indigo

I’m so sorry but Indi picks fights.

He does

He’s shameless

Maybe you can try to physically pull him away from needling randos? Then again you jumping to his defense might just make him more confident and Worse.

You won’t get a workout regimen out of this guy though! Little victories.

for literally any other time where something just makes you jump and you grab him instinctually, he’ll play into it. You should tell him as soon as you can if that’s something you don’t want.

But he will dramatically jump into a fighting stance the second you start to tug him towards you.

He is always ready to defend his human’s honor.

Cash

He let’s you drag him back with very little resistance.

In all honesty he finds you jumping to his safety quite amusing, especially if it was from something small that just happened to make you jump and grab him with you.

If there’s ever a situation where you aren’t in immediate danger but near some (like some strangers getting into an altercation) Cash will absolutely allow you to do whatever you want.

He’s never gonna let either of y’all get into real danger, so as long as that doesn’t happen you are free to your instincts to try and protect him.

Hell, you might not even need to grab him with how much he loves to touch or hang off you. No sense of personal space truly.

[luxsky]

First of all, Kicking out was amazing! I love reading domestic fluff like this! I would love to see the birth scene and the aftermath/Rhys interacting with his newborn. Rhys is such a simp and is the type who would do anything for his mate and the people he loves so it would be cute to see it in that context especially since we were robbed of it in silver flame.

Again, I love reading your fic and it’s amazing that this was your first one! Looking forward to reading more!

Kicking Out, part 2

Rhysand x reader

Summary: Reader and Rhysand's baby is born, and they revel in the love that surrounds them.

Warnings: Amateur description of childbirth, fatigue, a brief snippet of body insecurity, biological inconsistency – I think that's it, but I could be mistaken.

Author's Note: I procrastinated so much to write the second part until I realized that months had passed since the first part. I truly apologize for taking this long; it wasn't my intention. Thank you for all the love, support, and compliments; my heart warms every time I reread them! ♥️ I promise to try and write more quickly. Again, thanks to everyone who commented, liked, and reposted the first part; I love you all. English is not my first language, so please let me know of any spelling errors!

Madja said that walking would help, the movement would make her body dilate faster, and the baby would be born in the blink of an eye. One detail she might have forgotten to mention is that contractions would also increase along with dilation. In the early hours, you managed to walk with some pauses, going back and forth in the corridor—going down stairs was certainly not an option—with your kind partner by your side, ensuring nothing would go wrong. However, as time passed, the pain radiating from your lower back to half of your leg became so intense that you limited your movements, entering your room and contenting yourself with small steps there.

At this point, the pain was so much that Rhys had to practically guide you, his hand supporting your lower back, while you used the other for support, holding it firmly. Your breath came out in gasps, and for a brief moment, your body was free from pain, and you wanted to feel relief, but after being there for hours, you knew it was only a matter of minutes until the next contraction would arrive and strip away any capacity to think.

"Rhys, I'm tired," you whispered, barely managing to finish the sentence before the pain coiled in your back and flowed down your legs again. A moan escaped your lips, and you bent forward, your legs almost giving way, Rhysand quickly holding you, preventing you from reaching the floor.

"Come, dear, let's get you on the bed," your partner's voice was filled with tenderness and concern. He pulled you towards the large, comfortable bed you shared, and even though you wanted to keep walking, as Madja advised, your energy had long run out. So when Rhys helped you onto the bed, you didn't argue.

Your hands released Rhysand's, leaning on the bed. Before you could put your legs on the mattress, another contraction came, and a strangled scream of pain left your throat just as Madja returned to the room, carrying towels and other things that your mind didn't process.

The position you were in was strangely comfortable, the upper part of your body supported on the mattress. When your partner touched you again, as if telling you to lie down, tears welled up in your eyes. If your body wasn't so trapped in pain, you might have told him that it was okay, that this position was good.

"I know it's comfortable, love, but if you lie down, Madja can examine you better," Rhysand would know what you were thinking. You probably lowered your shields, projecting many feelings to him. You tried to block him, wanting to spare him the pain, but the claws caressing your mind gave you a hint that he didn't want that.

Before another contraction came, you decided to listen to your partner and finished getting on the bed. Rhysand was quick to arrange the pillows behind you, trying to keep you as comfortable as possible.

Madja approached, a gentle smile on her face as she asked for permission and adjusted your legs to examine you. The pants you wore earlier had been replaced by a light dress, shortly after your water broke.

Rhys sat on the edge of the bed, one hand holding yours while the other moved some strands of hair from your face. He did his best to secure it in the best way possible due to your position, knowing well that sweat and loose hair weren't a comfortable combination. He left a gentle kiss on your forehead, and another contraction arrived. Instinctively, you squeezed Rhysand's hand, another strangled scream escaping your lips as your whole body trembled with pain. This time, the tears that came to your eyes freely flowed down your face.

"I see the baby's head," Madja said, her eyes locking onto yours as she explained gently. "In the next contraction, I need you to push."

You nodded, not trusting your voice to respond. You were so tired, and there was still so much left for this to be over.

"It's almost over, dear, you can do it," your partner reassured you for a few seconds, but then your back burned with pain again. Your entire body, even your arms, legs, and back, pushed instinctively as your partner murmured encouraging words.

You pushed and pushed, Madja saying she could already see the head, and it was almost there. Meanwhile, Rhysand talked to you, his voice so close to your ear.

"That's it, love, it's almost there," he spoke again, his hand passing through your forehead, wiping away the sweat that accumulated.

Once again, the pain arrived, and you pushed. Relief flooded you the moment the cry of a baby filled the room, mixed with your own cry as you threw your head back. The pain disappeared, and the only thing you felt besides relief was exhaustion. The warmth of your partner moved away, his hand leaving yours, the baby's cry stopped, and you looked for your child, finding her in the arms of the man you loved. A cloth wrapped the newborn, Rhys's arms cradling the small bundle as he walked, swinging to your side. Madja still hovered at the edge of the bed, making sure you were okay.

When your partner sat next to you again, you adjusted yourself and reached out, wanting to hold the baby. He smiled with so much joy as he passed your daughter into your arms.

"It's a girl," he murmured, and you felt tears returning to your eyes as you watched the little one. All your fatigue was forgotten as the small noise from your daughter's lips touched your heart.

Rhys extended his hand, and the baby grabbed his finger. You looked up at your partner, finding the same love you felt, shining in his eyes. He looked at you, a tender smile playing on Rhys's lips.

"Our little Ciara," you whispered, again mesmerized by your daughter. Rhysand placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head and whispered an "I love you."

Your body started to feel heavy, your eyes almost couldn't stay open, the fatigue from hours pulling your consciousness.

"Rest, dear, you deserve it," was the last thing you heard before sleep took you completely.

When you woke up again, Rhysand had his back to you, rocking and murmuring something softly. Not wanting to interrupt the moment, you silently watched, your body still a bit lethargic from the previous effort.

When he turned around, it took him a moment to notice you were awake. His eyes were fixed on your daughter. He smiled gently when he realized your gaze, calmly sitting on the bed with Ciara sleeping in his arms.

"For how long did I sleep?" you whispered, not wanting to wake her. You sat up, leaning against the bedhead when Rhys offered the baby to you.

Just a few minutes. Madja said you wouldn't sleep much; your instincts would wake you up at some point to breastfeed Ciara.

Your partner communicated, and, sensing the change of location, Ciara began to move when you held her. It didn't take long for her little cry to fill the room.

Remembering the lessons you learned during pregnancy, with a bit of difficulty, you started breastfeeding the tiny baby. Her little hand instinctively grabbed your finger.

Rhys's hand reached for your face, brushing away your hair as his eyes reluctantly left their daughter to observe his partner; his body was relaxed. He rested his hand on your stretched thigh, lips pressed together, trying to contain a smile.

"I can't stop smiling every time I look at her. It's like my body fills with this... sensation, hard to explain, but it's a good feeling," he murmured, his thumb drawing circles on your leg.

You approached him, careful not to disturb Ciara, and planted a quick kiss on your partner's lips. Pulling away, you replied, "I feel it too."

Silent minutes passed; Ciara drifted into sleep on your chest. Rhys left and returned quickly, explaining the reason upon his return.

"I informed the others everything went well. Morrigan and Cassian wanted to visit, but I asked them to give us a few days alone," he said, leaning over to caress his daughter's small arm.

"I put Mor and Amren in charge of the court; they'll handle everything as we adjust to our new routine," he stepped back, heading towards another door in the room—leading to your private bathroom. "I also asked the house to prepare a bath for you. I'll check if everything's ready, and when I come back, I can take care of Ciara so you can relax in the tub."

You stood as he entered the bathroom, carefully lifting Ciara from your chest. Rhys returned silently, taking Ciara from you and planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. He indicated the bathroom with a nod.

"Take your time, and call me if you need anything," he said. You nodded and walked slowly to the bathroom.

You felt strange, Ciara was no longer inside you, but your belly still had a slight protrusion. As you removed your dress and entered the bathtub, the warm water eased some of the discomfort, allowing you to relax.

Your mind easily drifted away from potential insecurities that might arise, although you knew they would return eventually. At that moment, the only thing you had the energy to think about was how cute your daughter was and how delightful it was to soak in the bath with bath salts and bubbles.

You relaxed in the bathtub for a while, washing the sweat from your body and taking a moment to tend to your hair. Your thoughts oscillated between enjoying the magically heated water for a few more minutes and checking on your partner and daughter. However, you didn't need to make a decision because you heard a gentle knock on the door.

Your voice was soft and weary as you signaled for Rhysand to enter – it could only be him, after all. As your partner opened the door, he carried a towel and a change of clothes. The smile that formed on his lips mirrored the one on Rhysand's face. He handed you the towel as you stood up, and the soft fabric enveloped your body for drying. Soon, you were dressed in the warm and comfortable clothes your amazing husband had brought.

"Where's Ciara?" Your curiosity and concern prompted the question. Rhysand placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and turned to grab a hairbrush as he answered.

"She fell asleep after feeding; I put her in the crib," he walked behind you, a murmur escaping your lips, signaling that you had heard his response. His hands were gentle as he worked through your hair, the brush smoothly untangling the strands that had become knotted during the intensity of childbirth.

"I want to stay close to her tonight. I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone in a room on her first day of life," your voice was no more than a whisper, and despite the concern engulfing your body, a hint of embarrassment for not being able to leave her was present too.

Your husband's shortly nasally laughter made you turn around to find his gaze as he finished brushing your hair. He didn't say anything, but one of his hands went to your cheek, Rhys's thumb tracing gentle circles. With the other hand, he placed the brush on the countertop behind you.

"I figured you'd want that," he whispered, his face approaching yours, and your foreheads touched. The soft smile remained on Rhys's face. Instinctively, your eyes closed as he neared, and you brought your lips close to his, planting a gentle kiss.

"That's why I did this," his hand grasped yours, and he pulled you back to the bedroom. A warm smile grew on his lips as he surveyed the scene. The bed linens had been changed to clean ones, and a tray filled with your favorite foods had been placed on the bed. Next to it was the crib that used to be in the small room designated for Ciara, and inside, peacefully sleeping, was your little baby.

You turned to your partner, your eyes moist with unshed tears. Rhysand was already looking at you, the star-speckled eyes of your partner smiling at you, the expression on his face radiating pure love. You hugged him, and his arms quickly embraced you, his warmth enveloping you. Your voice sounded muffled as you whispered a soft "I love you."

The kiss he planted on the top of your head was followed by a quiet "I love you too, my shining star."

"Come on, let's get some food in your stomach so you can watch our little one until you fall asleep."

Following your partner to the bed, you did exactly as he said: indulged in all the food he had prepared, lay on the bed facing your daughter's crib, and with Rhysand's arms around you from behind, watched the little bundle of joy until sleep pulled you into comfortable darkness.

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Word count: 2000+

Warnings: none

Part XXI | Part XXIII

It took a whole week until Tamlin regained his strength and was able to take a longer walk. He also gained some of the weight back and generally looked better now. However that was the only thing that changed. He still couldn't speak nor change back, his powers stayed locked as well.

You and Lucien stayed in the manor, taking care of him. Lucien was attentive and very helpful. Unfortunately, his relationship with Tamlin hadn't improved much. He growled at Lucien whenever he came closer or tried to talk with him, so Lucien mostly just kept an eye on you while keeping you company or went out to get you some vegetables and meat.

The closest they came to each other was at night as the three of you still slept together on connected mattresses. Even though Lucien tried to keep proper distance, as soon as he fell asleep he rolled over, his hand finding it's way to your waist he held you and warmed you up until the morning. It didn't take long and you got used to be surrounded or rather pressed in between these two.

As Tamlin got stronger and stronger, you could finally leave manor and take a walk in the gardens together, every day getting farther and farther, but never too far from the estate. You fell back into your routine of picking up herbs, berries and anything you could find on your outings.

Tamlin never said no to your tea, so you looked for as many medicals herbs that could help him, as possible. However, your options were quite limited and you had to settle for the little that you could find.

Even Lucien grew fond of the tea, often asking you for a cup. He liked to joke that you certainly enchanted it because no other tea could possibly compare with the taste of yours.

Rhysand came every day for a visit as he promised or sent you tons of messages at days he couldn't come. Tamlin grew restless every time he appeared, growling, but he gave you a space or disappeared somewhere together with Lucien, fuming and huffing even hours after Rhysand left. It was kind of cute.

Your days were peaceful and uneventful. Your old self would be grateful for that, but your new self would welcome any distraction that could keep your thoughts away.

When you came here, you tried to be cheerful and talkative with Tamlin. This side of you began to fade away with every day you spent in the destroyed manor. Tamlin couldn't speak and you didn't want to pull him down with your problems, anyway. He had enough of his own as you believed.

You tried so hard not to think about the past and memories that made you tremble and stole the air from your lungs. You were hiding it, but with every day it became harder. You lied to yourself and to Rhys, too, when you pretended to be okay, that you got over the past events. You knew your brother wouldn't have said no, if you wanted to talk about the things. Yet you didn't want to make him worried more than he already was. It was hard enough to get him agree with your stay here. If he knew, he would insist that you went back with him immediately.

You considered to talk even with Lucien who seemed to notice the change, but he didn't bring it out. Instead, he watched you with concern or brought some little thing only for you to cheer you up. He was kind and protective, and even though you got well with him, you didn't know him enough well to share your most vulnerable feelings.

And so you spent a lot of time pushing yourself into one-sided chitchat with Tamlin about such insignificant things as weather or butterflies in the garden, just to avoid the darkness of your mind.

One day you were standing by the window on the third floor of the mansion, looking out at the forest in the distance. Tamlin for a moment disappeared. When he returned, he halted few steps from you, watching you with narrowed eyes. Then he came closer, nuzzling to your hand. You thought he wanted just an attention, so smiling you turned to him, running your fingers through soft fur between the antlers.

He closed his eyes in pleasure, but soon he shook your hand off. He lay down on the floor, pointing snout to his back and grunting.

"Oh, you want me to scratch your back?"

He made a disagreeing noise, followed by another couple of sounds. Even though he couldn't speak he was still trying. He pointed to his back again.

Frowning you blinked in confusion. "You want me to straddle you?"

He huffed in agreement.

"No, I'm heavy. You are still weak. I can't," you blushed fiercely. Treating him like a pet was already bad enough, but use him as a horse? You definitely couldn't do that to him.

"Let's have some tea," you changed topic, heading for door. Tamlin got before you, blocking the door with his huge body. Offering you his back, he barked, growled and whimpered until you sighed. "You won't give that idea up until I agree, will you."

Corners of his mouth curled into wolfish grin, emerald eyes shone brightly. You sighed again heavily. Reluctantly you climbed on him careful not to hurt him or pull on the fur too much. As soon as you were seated, he slowly stood up and testing if you could hold onto him, he made few steps. He had to assume you would be fine because he subsequently took off, running through the mansion and the gardens and out to the meadows in full speed.

You clung to his strong back, holding onto him with all your strength, eyes shut, face hidden in the fur. His moves were so smooth you hardly felt any impact even of the jumps. However, this was different from riding a horse or flying and you had to admit you were scared.

After a moment or two you dared to crack one eye open just as you entered the forest. Trees turned into blurred colours of brown and green around you, Tamlin's pace too fast even for your fae eyes. You felt nauseous, so you again hid into his fur.

It took maybe five minutes and the beast finally slowed down. He made a noise as if telling you to take a look. You peeked out, but when you saw where he brought you, you sat up straight, looking around in awe.

Tamlin brought you to your cottage.

Your eyes pickled with tears and you slid down from his back. Your legs moved on their own bringing you to the doorstep. Fingertips slowly ran over the sturdy wood down to the handle. You were half afraid what you would find inside, but you opened the door nonetheless, yearning to enter to so well known room.

You expected to see a lot of debris, dust and mess. Instead, you found perfectly clean room. It looked as if you'd never left it.

Solstice decorations were gone, furniture that was destroyed when Rhys fought with Tamlin, was back on its place without a single scratch. Your heart swelled with love. Tamlin did this. He repaired your cottage and kept it clean while you were in Velaris.

You pivoted, tears rolling down your cheeks. Your friend stood on threshold peeking in shyly. You squeezed him in embrace so firm that the poor thing couldn't breathe. He tensed at first, then slowly melted into your touch. He made a strangled sound, teasing you.

"I'm sorry," you sobbed loosening the grip a little, still holding him firmly. He made chuckling sound, one of his huge paws wrapped around your waist, holding you lovingly.

This was what you needed, this was what you missed so much. It didn't make your dark thoughts disappear, but you felt way better here. And he knew it. Tamlin understood your heart and was willing to give you whatever you needed to feel better. There weren't words that could express your gratitude.

After a moment you moved to your armchair and Tamlin followed you. At first he laid his head in your lap, but he seemed to be unsatisfied with the position. Sitting on the floor next to your legs, he wrapped both of his front legs around you, resting his head on your shoulder. He let out a contented exhale and stayed still, his muscles loosening. He was quite heavy, but you didn't mind it. You were happy.

"Y-Y/N," Tamlin rasped, his voice raw from not speaking for a long time.

You blinked in surprise, not sure if you really heard him speak or it just seemed to you. "Did you just..?"

"Y/N," he rasped more clearly this time.

"Tamlin, you can speak," you gasped, running your hands up and down his back as new tears filled your eyes. He made some incoherent noises. "It's okay. Take your time. No need to hurry."

The knock sounded on the front door. You were so happy being back home that you completely forgot about Lucien who went on hunt. You stood up to answer the door, finding the mentioned redhead standing on your doorstep, hands crossed on his chest, eyes narrowed in irritation. His brows shot up when he saw your state.

"Do you know how worried I was when I returned and you two were nowhere to be found? You could have at least left me a note."

Tamlin growled behind you.

"I'm sorry," you couldn't suppress wide smile.

"Right, you seem to be so sorry about that," Lucien grumbled, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"The thing is I didn't know about this. Tamlin decided to bring me here."

"Did he?" Lucien frowned at the beast behind you.

"Yes," Tamlin rasped.

Lucien blinked, his mouth opening and shutting closed again. He pointed at Tamlin. "Did he just answer? Or do I just imagine that?"

You smiled even wider. Tamlin sighed and returned back to the room, lying down in front of fireplace. Lucien gaped after him.

"He's slowly improving," you said. "He spoke for the first time just before you came."

"Oh."

"Do you want to come in?" He winced at your sudden offer.

"Oh uhm. I'm not sure.."

"It's fine." You opened the door wider, stepping aside to let him come in. You pointed him to the chair.

You turned to the kitchen, grabbing a kettle to boil water. Just when you took out mugs, you realised you didn't have herbs nor any food in here. You paused for a single heartbeat. You could feel both Lucien's and Tamlin's eyes on your back, watching you amused.

You took a deep breath and flicked your wrist. Herbs from manor appeared on counter.

Tamlin stood up, coming closer. "How-?"

"A lot happened while I was away," you said with sad smile.

"Rhysand helped her to cure the memory loss," Lucien explained for you.

Hair on the beast's back stood on end. That was the only visible reaction of his. However, his bright emerald eyes clouded, undoubtedly with dark thoughts. You reached out, giving him a gentle pat on head.

"Thank you," you whispered to his ear as you leaned closer to kiss the crown of his head. His eyes snapped up, meeting yours. They shone with what you hoped was an understanding.

You brewed a tea for everyone. Lucien brought in some wood and lit up the fire in fireplace. He also winnowed to the manor and brought food from there because Tamlin didn't seem to want to return back. After that he helped you to prepare supper.

The day turned into a peaceful evening. Lucien who obliviously felt more comfortable here than in the manor, even came up with some funny stories of him and Spring Court's High Lord. Mentioned High Lord ignored him mostly, occasionally grumbling or even chuckling. You couldn't stop laughing.

When time to go to sleep came, Lucien bid you a farewell. For the night he had to return to the manor. There was no other room or bed except yours in the cottage. Tamlin, of course, didn't move, already peacefully sleeping in front of the fireplace on thick rug, where he used to sleep before. And so you turned off the lights and went to your room. It was the first time you slept alone since coming back.

Taglist:

@impossibelle @sevikas-whore @b0xerdancer @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @nocasdatsgay @yunloyal @nebarious @isabiss @st0rmyt @lilah-asteria @ubigaia @paleidiot @acourtofimagines

[oxymorayuri]

Hiii i read the acex reader i dont remember the title but its the one where she was the revolver?

I wanted to request more parts for it please BCS THE WAY U WRITE IT ITS SO CAPTIVATING I CANT

So yes thats all i wanted PLEASE DO CONSIDER 🙏

It will get me through my exams 😔🔫

❞𝐍𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠���𝐦𝐞𝐬❝

Part two

If you haven't read the first part yet, you can find it here or the storys masterlist. ♡♡♡

✦ Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Reader ✦ Warnings: cussing/language, suggestive content ✦ Spoiler: none

A/N: Aw that is so cute! You know what? Why not? I really fell in love with the revolver too. I had to think of something to continue it but see for yourself, I hope you like it sweetie. PS: I hope everything goes well with your studies <3

wordcount: 2488

! ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ !

ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: wudus6

Everything before your eyes appears as if you're looking through a curtain. Time passes more slowly, every touch seems both intense and unreal, but you feel the desire.

There is nothing but desire... the thirst for more.

Light as a feather, you feel as if you are not even in control of your body. But that's not a problem. You enjoy every second, no matter how blurred everything seems to you.

Perhaps because you know that it is nothing more than just a desire. Your movements are rhythmic and you try to intensify the feeling with every thrust, but there are limits to how much you can feel.

Your options are small but you are grateful for what is in front of you.

You can dimly see the lust shining in Ace's eyes, while barely feeling his hands on your hips as they guide you into bliss. Your mind is constantly shifting between lucid yet dazed and one moment you are riding him while the next his lips are caressing yours.

Full of pleasure you close your eyes, your voice says 'more' but you don't feel your lips moving and although your eyes are closed, it gets brighter and brighter behind your eyelids…

You groan in annoyance as you pull the covers over your head. Damn that sucks. This isn't the first dream you've had about Ace, but it's never been as intense as this one.

You cannot escape the images of the things that happened between you and you keep dreaming about that night on the beach. A whole week has passed since then and you and Ace are far from what you could have become and whose fault is it?

Yep, yours.

The angry wiggle in bed gets you nowhere, but you are so annoyed by the situation that you have to let it out.

After your fit of rage, you look up at the ceiling of your room in defeat. Slight dark circles adorn your face because it takes half an eternity for your brain to finally shut up. You don't even want to think about Ace and when you are surrounded by complete silence, his face automatically appears before your eyes. You've spent a few nights tossing and turning in your bed because every time you close your eyes you see him. No matter how tired you were, you couldn't get a wink of sleep.

You tousle your hair. Your ego is so big that you would rather die than approach Ace.

You wonder why you reacted the way you did. After your night, you woke up alone in your room and even though you didn't expect him to be lying next to you, you wished for it.

Loneliness engulfed you and as lonely as you felt, the more you didn't want him to get near you. You felt so available and that's a pretty strange feeling for you… Would it have been different if you had woken up next to him?

You'll never know.

As usual you gave him the cold shoulder but this time you had an additional reason... but somehow you feel a bit childish about it now.

Your thoughts are spinning around. What is your reason anyway? The answer seems to secretly pile up inside you and that makes you nervous.

Should you really have reacted like this? You haven't said a single word to each other. Okay, you haven't said a single word to him… At least he tried, you have to give him that, but after 3 days he had given up. He just leaves you alone and doesn't even get on your "nerves" like before. Nothing nada

Somewhat sadly, you pull your knees towards you and put your head down. You can only blame yourself.

You idiot!

If it wasn't for Jozu, you would probably never have come out of your cabin. He actually managed to get you out of the room.

Well, he more or less dragged you out. He just barged into your room, came up to you without saying a word and grabbed you by the neck. You noticed him, but you didn't have the strength in your bones to really react.

Somewhat belatedly you grab him by his bulky arm but every attempt is in vain and when you realized, that he wanted to leave your room with you, all alarm bells rang in your head.

Like a wild animal, you tried to escape from his grip but no matter how much you scratched him or how hard you hissed, he wouldn't budge. You feisty thing. Without paying the slightest attention to you, he brought you onto the deck and although you were brought here rather roughly, he set you down on the ground with care.

"Touch me like that again and…!!!!!" You are caught off guard when your mouth is suddenly covered with tape; you hadn't expected that. You can only grumble in anger and your eyebrows furrow up furiously as you look up at your commander.

"Hah your stare can't do anything to me you stupid ass!" He makes fun of you while he ties your arms and legs and you have no chance to resist.

The big man took a step back as he watched you wobble pathetically back and forth. You try to free yourself because you are beginning to feel that you are in a critical situation.

Your strength returns and the ropes loosen. Jozu doesn't hesitate any longer and immediately ties you up completely from head to toe, which looks ridiculous. Like a mummy, with only your head free, he leaned you against the ship's mast.

From behind you, you hear Ace apparently going through something similar as you and suddenly he is thrown to the ground in front of you by Marco. He wasn't set down as gently as you were, and with a pained look he rubs his cheek, which has just kissed the ground.

"What's wrong with you guys?" Confused, he looks at the men in front of him who just look down at him with stern expressions and folded arms. Jozu's eyes wandered over to you and Ace's eyes followed his. With shock written all over his face, he looked at you with widened eyes.

Without commenting, he looked back at the two commanders and then Marco broke the silence.

"What have you done Ace." Marco's voice seemed a little threatening. Astonishment spread across Ace's face.

"ME?" Startled, he pointed his own finger at his chest. "I have done NOTHING!" He defends himself with a slightly raised voice.

You want to laugh out loud but the tape stops you.

"I don't know what happened between you, but one thing is clear and that is that the two of you have something to sort out!" Jozu lays out the facts.

"You're so wrapped up in your thoughts that you're constantly setting yourself on fire and even if it doesn't hurt you, it's affecting the people around you." His gaze went to you as he noticed your muffled laughter. "And you? We don't even need to talk about you, y/n. But let me refresh your memory. First you shouted at Ace, then you didn't say a word to ANYONE and then you didn't come out of your room for two whole DAYS!!!" The commander breathes in and out, somewhat exhausted.

You weren't even aware that you were behaving outrageously, but now that Jozu has reminded you, you can't deny it. Ace is bothering you and you are bothering him.

Marco touches his forehead, somewhat distraught.

"Listen, if Newgate gets wind of this, he'll talk to you… is that what you want?!" You both shake your heads in panic at the same time.

"I thought so." - "Ace, you were last with y/n that night and she's been so nasty ever since. Did something happen between you?" Jozu interjects.

He exhales a little helplessly and drops his shoulders.

"hahhh, I don't know… I thought we had a good time but the next day everything was different than I thought and that's why I wanted to talk to her to find out what I did wrong!" He turns to you and for the first time you see a look on his face that you never expected to see. He looks angry with a hint of confusion.

"But SHE doesn't want to talk!" he points his finger at you like a child. Offended, you grimace. Luckily, the tape is stuck to your lips because no matter what you would have said, it wouldn't have made any sense anyway. You're so irrational that you don't even recognize yourself.

The two standing men looked at each other and nodded. You and Ace don't quite understand what's happening now, but you'll find out soon enough.

Marco grabbed Ace by the shoulder and led him ahead of him. Ace doesn't really resist and starts to move. When Jozu approached you, you didn't want to leave the stage without a fight. You tried to move like a worm to escape from your commander and even though he admires your efforts, there's no point in trying to escape, because you're just as fast as a worm - not at all. Jozu has an easy time with you and throws you over his shoulder.

The two of them threw you into a prison cell made of sea stone and before they locked the cell, Jozu freed you from your full body bondage. You are glad that your mouth is free again because now you can finally let out all the bad words you have left for Jozu.

"You son of a bitch! Just wait until I'm out of here, then you'll be given a bloody surprise… I'm telling you!"

But you idiot threw yourself against the bars to grab the big man, forgetting that the bars are made of sea stone and that you now have the power of a devil fruit that you still have to get used to.

The energy sapping feeling in your body is sudden, overwhelming and slowly you go down to the ground.

While the men walk away from the cell, Marco shouts something back to you.

"You stay in there until you've sorted this out!" Grinding your teeth, you roll onto your back with the last ounce of your strength and close your eyes.

If I can't see him, then he's not there...

Yeah, exactly, that will work… You don't really believe that, do you?

"Hey… I'll leave you alone if you want, but the others are right. We take it out on the others and that's not okay. We're a crew…" The word crew makes you open your eyes without wanting to.

You sigh in annoyance and roll onto your side so that Ace can stare at your back.

"Yea, maybe. Leave me alone." Your stubbornness is driving Ace crazy, but he doesn't really want you to be like this with each other. Above all, he wants to know why you're like this to him. What did he do wrong?

He's been racking his brains for days about what he could have done or said that upset you so much. He wants to make things better if you would let him.

"If you're not going to talk to me, at least take the bed. Sleeping on the floor won't do you any good." You have no idea what kind of cheap trick that is. Is he trying to get you to sleep in a bed with him? You look back towards the bed but Ace isn't there. He's sitting next to the bed with his back against the wall.

Unexpectedly, disappointment spreads through you. Wait a minute? Is that what you secretly wanted?

A little confused, you stand up and stop in front of Ace, who looks up at you. His unkempt hair falls back slightly as he looks up at you. How you would like to swallow your pride and fall into his arms, but you have no idea where to start. You don't know what to say because you don't even quite understand what is wrong with you. So you say nothing and stare at him with tired eyes as he sits in front of you with one leg bent and his arm resting on his knee.

Ace doesn't quite know how to react, but he's not one to do nothing.

He stands up just a few centimeters away from you and now you are the one looking up at him.

His gaze scans your face for answers that you can't even give yourself.

"What have I done?" he whispers to you. His pained voice tears apart your heart. You didn't know Ace could sound so vulnerable.

"I…, I don't know." you mumble your words, but your gaze remains fixed on Ace.

You have no further answer for Ace and walk towards the bed and lie down with your back to him again.

"Sleeping on the floor won't do you any good…" You repeat Ace's words back to him, feeling less pathetic since he said it first.

You listen closely as you can make out the sound of his feet approaching the bed. His shadow falls on the wall, which you stare at, waiting to see what comes next.

You feel the mattress go down a little and you automatically hold your breath until you can hear your heartbeat.

Ace looks down at your slender figure. His eyes wander over your delicate curves. He would love to stroke your hips until you fall asleep, but he's not sure how far he can go without making a mistake... but he has a feeling that doing nothing would be a mistake too.

He decides to lie down with his chest against your back. Lying on his back doesn't really work, there wouldn't be enough room and back to back would be awkward. He really makes an effort not to touch you unnecessarily. He's already glad that you offered him the bed.

You try to calm down, but Ace's breathing gives you goose bumps on the back of your neck. You pinch your eyes shut and try to concentrate on Ace's warmth, hoping you'll be able to fall asleep soon.

Luckily for you, you quickly find your way to the land of dreams because with Ace behind you, one could say; he's no longer buzzing around in your head...

Masterlist

Stay tuned for the next Part babes <3

➽ Next chapter

[slytherinshua]

Can you please write a bnd Jaehyun x reader please

MR. LOVERMAN

genre. fluff. soulmate au. warnings. jaehyun is whipped. one kiss. pairing. jaehyun x fem!reader. wc. 1.1k. a/n. tysm for requesting!! i feel like i could've written this better now but oh well skdjskd.

When Jaehyun found his soulmate, the first thing he would do is kiss her. He was determined to do this. It sounded like an impossible dream, though. The finding part, that is. He was confident in his kissing abilities as long as he had someone who he loved to kiss, but you seemed to be evading him. Or maybe he was just bad at looking for you.

He knew that you were his soulmate… whoever you were. Well, he knew a little about you. Your name was Y/n and you were the same age as him. He wanted to know more about you, but the time limit for soulmate conversations was 5 minutes a day, and he had only been talking to you for a week. 

How did you manage to make him fall this in love with you in just a week? He had no idea. Maybe it was because he knew you were his soulmate, or maybe it was some special charm you had. He smiled whenever he thought about you and his heart beat so fast that he thought it would burst in his chest. He had always liked the daytime, but suddenly 9 pm was his favourite time of day. You would always say hi at exactly that time. Your conversations went something like this.

“Hello, Jaehyun, this is your soulmate checking in at 9 pm sharp.”

“Hi.” (Jaehyun would be smiling crazily at this point. So would you.)

“How did your day go?”

“It was alright… Am I weird for missing you even though I’ve never met you?”

“If you’re weird for that then I’m weird too.”

“. . .”

“We’ll meet soon, right?”

“I hope so.”

“Well, we’re regretfully running out of time, so… Goodnight, Jaehyun!”

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

Jaehyun waited anxiously for 9 pm the next day. He kept wondering what you looked like all throughout the day. There wasn’t any way to know, really. It’s not like you could send pictures through your head. He needed to meet you in real life. He called you first that night, not being able to wait until the clock struck 9.

“Hi, Y/n.”

“Hi, Jaehyun. You’re a bit early.”

God, did his heart flutter whenever he heard you say his name.

“Couldn’t wait to talk to you.” 

He hoped you were smiling at what he said. He hoped he was able to make you as happy as you were able to make him. 

“That’s really cute.” 

He heard you giggle. He felt like he would die right then and there. How could your laugh be so beautiful? 

“Y/n, do you want to meet me?”

Jaehyun felt like his nerves might make him explode as he waited for your answer.

“I’d love to meet you… Do you know that coffee shop called Serenade?”

“I know it. Are you free tomorrow?”

“If it means meeting you, I’m free any day of the week.”

Now Jaehyun was sure you were smiling. He could hear it in your voice, the way it was bright and soft. He closed his eyes, trying to calm his racing heart and cool his hot cheeks.

“I’ll be there at 1 pm, okay?”

“Right. 1 pm tomorrow.”

//

Jaehyun couldn’t decide what to wear. Should he dress up? Dress down? What if he showed up in a tuxedo and you showed up in sweatpants and then everything was awkward? What if he put on a hoodie but you put on a fancy dress? He sank to the floor, back resting against his bed as he sighed. This was really really hard.

Cute but casual would be a safe option, right? Right.

Jaehyun stood up again and rummaged through his closet until he found his best pair of jeans and sweater. Ten minutes later, he was satisfied with his outfit. He stood in front of his mirror and attempted to fix his hair. Trying to style it would probably go horribly wrong given his lack of skill with hair, so he decided to keep it natural.

Jaehyun checked his phone for the time and his heart leapt. 12:40. He could finally leave without being God awfully early. He rushed outside and still managed to be ten minutes early to your meeting.

He remembered during one of the times he talked to you, you mentioned that you loved cold drinks. He scanned the menu and ordered one that popped out to him along with his own drink. Now he just needed to wait.

It was nice out and he didn’t want to constantly stare at the door (that would only make him more anxious and impatient), so he decided to wait outside. No one was sitting outside so the outdoor seating was completely empty. It was perfect.

He knew it was you as soon as he saw you walking up, nervously looking around and fiddling with your bag. He knew his face was probably bright red, but he didn’t care. He didn’t have the willpower to look away from you because you looked angelic to him. 

He stood up to make his presence more clear and it caught your attention. You grinned at him, and God, your smile was so beautiful Jaehyun practically forgot how to breathe.

“Jaehyun, fancy seeing you here.” You giggled, stepping up so you were only a couple feet apart.

Jaehyun laughed, “I know, how convenient.”

There was a pause where both your hearts were racing and you didn’t know what to say. A feeling of ecstasy circled the air and it was all you could breathe in as you looked at him. 

“I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but uhm… I’ve had this thought for years that when I meet my soulmate the first thing I’d do is… kiss… her…” Jaehyun’s voice got quieter as he confessed his thoughts, nerves tangling together in his stomach and his hands shaking a little.

“What are you waiting for, then?” You whispered, cheeks tinting a bit. You had thought about kissing him since before you had met him in person, but you had to admit that when you first saw his face, the thought of kissing him was 10 times more appealing than it already was.

“I don’t know, I’m just kinda… nervous. You’re a lot prettier than I thought you’d be and it’s like… wow, you really are my soulmate-”

His nervous rambling was so cute to you that you couldn’t help but rise up on your tiptoes and kiss him. His eyes widened and you felt him tense up, making you smile a little. He relaxed eventually once you gave him a little push of encouragement by guiding his hand to your waist.

You laughed when you pulled out, finding Jaehyun’s shyness more charming than anything else. He hid his face in his hand, doubtlessly trying to conceal his bright red cheeks from you. But you wanted to see them, so you pulled his hands away, holding them in yours, carefully lacing your fingers together with his. You saw his cheeks turn even brighter at your action.

“Cute…” You mumbled.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ boynextdoor taglist: @rizzshimura,, @captivq

[mia-tiny]

Coming Home | K. Hongjoong

⇒ pairing: k. hongjoong x fem!reader

⇒ smut, estranged friends to lovers, small town nostalgia, slow-ish burn?, unprotected sex (big no no), oral & fingering (fem receiving), tame dirty talk, reader called “baby,” mutual pining, car sex, some light drinking

⇒ word count: 14.4k

⇒ summary: After six years spent in the city, coming back to your rural home for the holidays has you confronting your feelings not only about your old life, but also about your estranged best friend who you left behind.

💕 view my masterlist here

🖤 view my Kinktober ‘22 masterlist here

⇒ author’s note: my first shot at a longer, more slow burn style fic. thinking of mixing it up between longer pieces like this and my usual oneshot style fics going forward.

Six years.

That is how long it has been since you’ve returned to your humble hometown deep in the middle of nowhere, but somehow the dilapidated city limit sign on the side of the road looks exactly the same as it did years ago, with chips of paint peeling off at the corners and a faded graffiti tag covering half the town’s name. It welcomes you back into a world you left long ago in search of neon lights rather than the glow of bonfires and bustling streets instead of gravel paths.

It’s not that you hate this town, in fact growing up here was filled with joy and freedom, but you had always wanted to see what else the world has to offer. Ever since you can remember, you’ve imagined yourself living the glamorous city life that you always saw on TV, and everyone here knew you had plans to leave the rural ways behind. You’ve always wanted to open a cute little cafe on a busy backstreet with the best coffee and pastries in town, maybe even expanding the business to become a chain once you’re making enough money. This dream is why you ended up moving away for college and never coming back. Well, at least until now.

Coming home for the holidays hadn’t entirely been your decision, though. For many years, your family has traveled to you instead since it meant a fun vacation away from home, but your mother’s recent surgery took that option off the table this year while she is still recovering. Your choices for Christmas were therefore to either sit at home alone in your pajamas or to make the long drive back to this quaint town that you haven’t really thought about twice since departing.

In many ways, returning feels almost like breathing with how natural and ingrained it is in your nature, but in some ways it is also oddly terrifying. Just feeling the familiar breeze and warmth of the rural sun on your skin has you unsettled, as if you are being pushed to confront the life you left behind in comparison to the one you’ve been living. You’re not entirely unaware of the fact that city living isn’t as perfect as you’d imagined it to be, but you’ve never allowed yourself to dwell on that thought long enough for it to take root.

If you’re being honest, you must admit that it has definitely been difficult to keep up with such high living expenses, working multiple jobs, and adjusting to the hustle and bustle of the fast-paced urban landscape. Making friends and finding a community has also been much harder since most everyone is so closed off or caught up in their own self-centered drama. Still, even if it isn’t as glamorous as you imagined, it is something you’ve always wanted, so surely it’s right.

As you cruise along, you notice that the antiquated shops and homes littered along the main stretch of road look as though they have been on pause since you left, even every pebble and every leaf at their feet having waited patiently in their spot for your return. The recognizable scene breeds a sense of comfort steeped in the thought that no matter how far you stray, this little town is a constant. Are you perhaps the only thing that has changed?

As you pull down a few back streets and onto the humble paths with houses spaced much more generously than in the city, your parents’ little cabin-esque home soon comes into view, and you can already spot your dad waiting for you on the porch. A smile immediately brightens his face as he notices you, and you stick your arm out of the open window to return his giddy wave. By the time you’ve made it down the driveway, your entire family has spilled outdoors to greet you, even including your grandparents and some uncles and aunts who have come over to welcome you back home.

Through the enthusiastic hugs and mandatory cheek squeezes, you can already smell the sweet scent of your mom’s cooking wafting through the house. Even though she is still recovering from her surgery, you can’t imagine she has made anything less than a feast to celebrate your presence. You soon come to find, however, that she has truly outdone herself by inviting half the town over for a party in the evening. This wasn’t quite the greeting you were expecting after such a long and tiring drive, but it shouldn’t really be surprising to once again be showered with the overwhelming love that has always been available to you here. In a town this small, everyone just feels like extended family with how well you know and look after each other. Consequently, they all want to be present for your homecoming, and you’ve got only an hour to prepare yourself for the extreme degree of affection about to come your way.

With family greetings set aside for the moment, you lug your packed suitcase up the squeaky hardwood stairs and into your childhood bedroom. Your parents have left it virtually untouched despite you having been gone for so long. The walls are still a faded baby blue and your twin bed sits in the corner, covered by a tacky floral comforter that you had thought, at age thirteen, was the pinnacle of home decor. Bookcases filled with cheesy teen romance novels and small plastic trophies sit alongside your worn wooden desk, which you take a seat at with a heavy exhale that gives away how tired you already are. Seven hours in the car is perhaps a few too many.

Your eyes glance over the old pictures stuck to the wall just over your desk and you smile at the nostalgic images. The one on the end catches your attention with its bright pop of orange and you lean forward to peel it off for a closer look. Sure enough, it is a photo of you and Hongjoong from your high school graduation in which you are laughing obnoxiously at something he must’ve said. Or you were perhaps laughing at his hair, which he had to dye orange for the event upon losing a bet with you over whether or not he would cry from watching Titanic. He did, of course, and his loss is now forever recorded in all your graduation pictures.

A small chuckle escapes you as you recall the fond memory, but part of you also saddens as you gaze at the image. Like everything else in this town, Hongjoong was something you ended up inadvertently leaving behind despite your long history with one another. He had been your neighbor from the time you were both born just days apart, meaning you naturally became best friends as you spent your childhood together playing outdoors or making mischief. You both grew into your adolescence as partners in crime and many things changed, but he was always constant. Until you left.

It wasn’t that you wanted to abandon him, but you suddenly had a life where he wasn’t constantly by your side, something neither of you really knew how to manage when it came to maintaining your friendship. As time went on, and life got busy, you both just ended up slipping further apart. Now it has been years since you spoke last and every time you think of him, you can’t deny the pang of guilt that eats away at your heart.

He won’t be here tonight, will he?

A moment of panic washes through you as you imagine having to face him once again after all this time, but you quickly relax as you realize he probably left this town as well. He has always had many artistic passions and talents, so surely he has found his way to bigger and better things. He was always meant for greatness, after all.

Thoughts of Hongjoong set aside, you diligently prepare yourself for the amount of energy you’re about to expend rehashing the last six years of your life to every single person you’re about to see. There is no doubt in your mind that they will all want to know every last detail, but only after spending time gushing about how much you’ve grown. It will likely get to be a tiring process, but they’re all people you love who are simply excited to see you, so you choose to see it as endearing rather than irritating.

The first hour of the party goes by smoothly with family friends and neighbors pouring into your home and spilling out into the backyard where your father has started a bonfire. The amount of hugs you’ve received in your lifetime has likely doubled from tonight alone, but it feels amazing to be so warmly welcomed back. Falling back into the natural rhythm of the small-town life comes easier and easier with each guest that arrives even though your level of exhaustion keeps slowly increasing. One cup of coffee on the way here was definitely not enough.

Still, it is great to see everyone and hear what they’ve been up to. Your neighbor, Amanda, who runs the liquor store in town, is especially quick to catch you up on all the local drama you’ve missed. Apparently Peter and Larissa have gotten a divorce and are in the middle of a nasty custody battle, John’s son got a full college scholarship for football, and there is thought to be a new ghost haunting the local library (because the lights flickering sometimes must mean a ghost). These are only the first three things she tells you and there is so much more that you can’t even keep track of, but just hearing about it has you feeling connected to the town again in a way that you missed.

In the middle of letting Amanda retell the entire timeline of her last relationship that you hadn’t been privy to, the front door creaks open once again and you glance in its direction to see who else has arrived, only for your heart to immediately hit the floor. Even from across the crowded room you can tell exactly who it is stepping in timidly with their beaming parents in tow. And much to your dismay, his eyes glaze over the swarm of people until they lock on yours while you continue to openly gawk at him in shock.

Kim Hongjoong. The one and only person you were afraid of running into tonight.

He looks both the same and completely different at the same time. The skinny, clumsy boy that you once knew has been replaced by a mature, handsome man who bears resemblance, but has clearly grown into himself over time. His hair is no longer the faded orange you last saw him with when you left for college, but is instead an ashy light brown that makes his complexion glow. The raggedy old band t-shirts he used to live in have now been replaced with a crisp white button up paired with an oversized brown cardigan, leading him to look both dressed up and dressed down at the same time. He has even accessorized with some wire glasses and multiple new piercings, some of which are connected by flashy silver chains.

Since when has he known how to dress this well?

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. He’s coming this way. Pick your jaw up off the fucking floor and compose yourself before you end up looking like an even bigger moron!

“Y/N!” Hongjoong’s mother sing-songs as she pushes past her son to reach you with outstretched arms.

“Mrs. Kim!” you call back with a forced amount of enthusiasm as she envelops you in a crushing embrace. She was always like a second mother to you, so you would be elated to see her if it weren’t for her son’s presence making your brain glitch in an absolute panic.

“Oh, darling, I’ve missed you so much!” She swings you from side to side in her excitement, almost tipping you over before her husband prompts her to let you go, also saying hello in the process. She settles for resting her hands on your shoulders as she takes in your appearance with total glee. “I can’t believe you’re finally back! How is the city treating you? Is it just like you thought it would be? What about the jobs there? I’m sure you must’ve met so many incredible people! Oh goodness, Joongie, come say hi!”

Despite asking so many questions, her hysteria doesn’t even allow you to get a word in before she is pulling her son out from behind her so that he can face you. Your expression surely pales in that instant and you can feel your palms moisten with sweat. You both just stare at each other for a moment, his expression unreadable as the rest of the commotion in the room is completely droned out of your mind.

“Oh, baby, don’t be shy! You used to be best friends! She’s still the same girl you grew up with,” his mother prompts, entirely unaware of the strange tension thickening the air.

“Hey, Y/N,” Hongjoong finally utters, sticking out his hand for you to shake. You look at it, frozen in place by the distance in his action.

“Joongie, don’t be silly. Give her a hug, it’s been forever!” Mrs. Kim once again chimes in with a motivating nudge on his shoulder.

He glances at her in a manner that clearly reveals his discomfort, but quickly suppresses the feeling and avoids eye contact as he steps forward to embrace you loosely, your torsos not even touching as you awkwardly lift your hands up to pat his back. Even if he has changed so much, one thing is for sure: he still wears the same cologne you had gifted him at age 16 when you cordially asked him to cover his “man odor.”

When he pulls away, neither of you can look at each other. Your heart is beating out of your chest and you want nothing more than for the floor to open you up and suck you down into hell. As if seeing him again isn’t uncomfortable enough, his mother being this clueless has made the interaction one thousand times worse. You need to escape this situation right now.

“It’s so great to see you all, thank you for coming!” you start off graciously with the most hospitable voice you can muster. “I’m actually going to head to the restroom, but please make yourselves at home. There is dinner in the kitchen if you’re hungry and seats out back as well. I’ll be around.”

You begin slowly walking away while speaking so that by the time you finish, they are unable to suck you back into a conversation. Your feet carry you to the bathroom in a mad rush, though you try not to let the other guests see just how panicked you are. As soon as you make it there, you slam the door shut and lock it, your back then resting against the wall as you take deep breaths.

In the weeks leading up to this trip home, you hadn’t really considered the possibility of seeing Hongjoong again. Whether that was because you truly forgot about him or because you convinced yourself that he would’ve vanished into thin air, you aren’t entirely sure. Since you stopped talking to him, any reminder of his existence and what you had let go was always a painful assault on your psyche. Instead of recalling all of the great memories together, your heart has been plagued with guilt and shame over the ending of your friendship. Seeing him in person again, especially combined with his distant attitude, has your negative emotions festering at ten times the usual intensity.

You sink down to sit on the floor as you try to grapple with the other major issue occupying your brain. As soon as he walked through the door, beyond the guilt you felt, all of the suppressed feelings you’ve always harbored for Hongjoong rapidly came rising to the surface.

The chemistry that the two of you have shared throughout your lives has always been deeper and more meaningful than how either of you connect with other friends. The spark between you has always been sort of an unspoken acknowledgement in your relationship, something too delicate for either of you to address lest it open up doors you are both too afraid to enter.

You could always feel it, though. When you would play hooky together to go see the latest superhero film, the nights under the stars that you’d spend getting high by the lake, the way he would obnoxiously call your name across the hallway at school, his words of comfort and encouragement after your every break up. In all these moments and more, you could tell just how deeply connected you are in a manner that transcends friendship, and you could tell that Hongjoong felt it too.

At the same time, however, you knew that the second you gave in to these feelings, you may have never been able to let go. You were terrified of falling so deeply into Hongjoong that you’d never escape. It always felt as if just one wrong move–

You jump in surprise as a loud rasping on the door abruptly wakes you from your thoughts.

“Oh, uh, just a moment!” you call in a hurried response, pulling yourself from the floor and taking one last deep breath to steel yourself before facing the party again.

You open the door and leave your temporary sanctuary so that your uncle can enter, the laughter from the next room practically teasing your anxious state as your moment of solitude ends. You just have to get through this party.

For the next couple hours you work diligently in avoiding Hongjoong at all costs, trying your best to make it look natural as you keep your distance. Every few minutes you scan the crowd to make sure he is still on the opposite side of the room and try not to stare long enough that he will feel your gaze burning a hole into the back of his head. Honestly, you can’t even focus on half of the conversations you have because you are so actively wrapped up in this game of cat and mouse that Hongjoong doesn’t even know he’s participating in. Your methods ultimately work out, however, since you are able to avoid him late into the night.

By the time things start slowing down and most of the guests are relaxing out by the fire, your head is pounding with how exhausted you are, your energy having been sucked out by both the taxing journey to get home and the anxiety-fueled nightmare that has been this party. Needing some time to just decompress and not be the center of attention, you wait until the living room is empty to snatch a bottle of expensive red wine and tiptoe up the stairs to your room, praying nobody sees you escaping your own celebration.

As you have done many times before, you yank open your dormer window that overlooks the front yard and slip out onto the roof with your drink in hand. Long ago, you spent many wistful nights in this exact spot, staring up at the stars when you needed to just be alone and think. Something about sitting here under the vast night sky always made your problems seem much smaller as you paled in comparison to the infinity of space before you, but that same sense of comfort doesn’t come as easily tonight.

You lean back against the rough shingles of the rooftop and take a few heavy gulps out of the wine bottle, hissing at the taste since you’ve never really been a fan of reds. It’ll do the trick, though, and you’re not really in the mood to be picky. A heavy exhale escapes you and you close your eyes, the sound of chatter spilling out into the night air from the guests mingling on the other side of the house. Your thoughts immediately drift where you wish they wouldn’t as Hongjoong’s appearance permeates your mind.

As if right on cue, the sound of light knocking against your window sill causes you to gasp and look over in surprise.

“Hey,” Hongjoong casually calls with his body stuck halfway out the window already. “Figured I’d find you up here. Mind if I join?”

You hope that your nervousness doesn’t show on your face and he can’t hear your heart as it now thumps dangerously against your chest. Still, you scooch over to make room for him.

“Sure.” He climbs onto the rooftop and takes a seat next to you, the proximity of his body making you hyper aware of your every movement. “Want some?”

You offer him the bottle of wine, to which he chuckles but graciously accepts, taking a prolonged drink before frowning at the taste just like you did. You can’t help but laugh lightly at his reaction, some of the nerves dissipating just marginally.

“I guess we’re still not quite proper adults just yet, huh? When wine still tastes this bad,” he jokes as he hands the drink back over.

“If that’s what defines adulthood, then I guess not.”

The moment of jest fades away as you both gaze up at the sky and a thick silence settles between you. This must be the first time you’re next to Hongjoong and yet you can’t find anything to say, but, thankfully, he breaks the deafening sound of six years spent apart.

“Sorry about my mom back there. She’s, you know… her,” he apologizes stiffly without bringing himself to look over at you.

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t have expected anything else from her. It’s actually kind of comforting to come back and find that almost everyone is still the same as before.” You pray he doesn’t ask you to elaborate on the ‘almost’ since it exclusively applies to him.

“Yeah, things around here don’t change as quickly as in the city, I suppose.” He lets out a steady breath and you gulp down some more of the wine. “How is it out there? Everything you ever dreamed of?”

You can’t exactly tell the emotion behind his words and you consider just how honest you should be. Is he just asking out of pleasantries? Are you still close enough that you can start airing your grievances about city life? Even if you are, do you really want to put those thoughts out into the world in such a way that makes them significantly more real than when they just live in your mind?

“It’s fine. You know, different,” you answer vaguely, shrugging off his inquiry. He finally turns to face you.

“It’s fine?” he questions. “What does that actually mean? Because it doesn’t mean fine.”

Goddamn this man and how well he can read you even after so long. His tone and demeanor, though, feel so familiar and warm that you can’t resist wanting to open up to him as if no time has passed at all. Sitting together like this, he somehow still feels like your safe space even though tonight has been painfully awkward up to this point. Nonetheless, you feel a little strange to immediately start unloading onto him and decide against it.

“It is fine, though,” you answer, but it even sounds like a lie to you this time. “I mean, it’s not the perfect life I imagined, but nothing is perfect.”

He seems to think about your answer momentarily before giving a small nod. “That’s true, I guess. Have you opened up your own cafe yet?”

You bite the inside of your cheek in embarrassment. “No, not yet. Living expenses are really high there so I haven’t been able to save up yet…”

“Oh,” he mumbles at your feeble response. “What do you do for work, then?”

You can tell he is asking out of genuine curiosity, but your face burns in shame. “I work as a barista and a bartender, both part-time. It’s a lot of work, but I haven’t really been able to start a career just yet…”

“Ah…”

You take another swig from the bottle before passing it over to him, pulling your knees closer to your chest as he also drinks. After spending your entire life boasting about how you’ll thrive in the city, admitting all of your unexpected struggles to him has you feeling increasingly disappointed in the outcome of your six years away.

“You do like it there, though, right?” Hongjoong asks earnestly, his gaze shifting to study your face as you contemplate the answer.

Yes. Of course you should say yes… Why are you not saying yes?

As you look into his eyes, the word ‘yes’ doesn’t come as easily as it usually does when you’re asked this question. Just as you felt when you first drove into the city’s limits, you feel like, for the first time in six years, you are truly being forced to consider the reality of your urban life compared to the life you had here. The doubts you’ve had about your move, which you have always so diligently repressed, are finally at the forefront of your mind as you are faced with everything you left behind. And that fact that Hongjoong’s caring eyes continue to bear down heavy on you doesn’t help your effort to ignore the aching in your chest.

You rip your gaze away from him and look back up at night sky, afraid of what spiral you would start heading towards if you shared that moment with him any longer.

“You know, I was really surprised to see you tonight,” you state in an attempt to change the topic.

“Yeah? Why is that?” You are thankful that he also directs his attention back to the constellations as if giving you permission to avoid his earlier question.

“I just assumed you would also end up leaving this place. Move on to bigger and better things. Maybe become a new age artist or something.” He chuckles at your terminology.

“A new age artist, huh? I mean, I guess I could’ve done that, but I never really needed much more outside of what I have here. As long as I have the things that are important to me, I’m perfectly happy.”

You spare a side glance at him to see the beauty of his smile under the pale moonlight. You can’t help the slight jealousy that arises at his simple attitude towards contentment, as if it is almost too easy for him to be pleased with life.

“So you’re just doing perfect then? All sunshine and rainbows?” The slight edge in your voice gives away your saltiness, but he doesn’t bother commenting on it.

“Well, no. There are still things I want and regrets I have, but it’s like you said: nothing is perfect.”

What regrets could he possibly have, though? Hongjoong has always been the type to live exactly as he pleases without worrying about the reactions or judgments of others, so you can’t help but be curious about his statement.

“Regrets? Of all people, I wouldn’t expect that from you.”

He sighs as if thinking deeply over the subject and smiles minutely, though the supposed happiness doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Doesn’t everyone have regrets, though? Things they would do differently if they had the chance?”

He gazes at you once again and, for a moment, his expression almost betrays the intentions behind his cryptic statement. Your heart is suddenly beating at twice its normal rate from the strange tension that thickens the evening’s cool breeze, and you wonder if he can feel it too. The look in his eyes has you falling deeper into his stare until an episode of roaring laughter from the party down below wakes you both from the prolonged moment.

Hongjoong clumsily clears his throat as his eyes flicker here and there, eventually bringing the wine bottle to his lips to take another gulp. Needing something else to focus on besides your body’s heated reaction to the man beside you, you act swiftly to change the subject yet again.

“You know, I told you about myself, but I still don’t know what you’ve been up to. Surely you’re not still working under Barry, are you?”

Hongjoong laughs boisterously from being reminded of his chaotic part time job in high school. Looking for extra cash to spend, he had taken up a few shifts at Barry’s restaurant supposedly just to wash dishes, but he ended up being the cook, server, manager, host, and personal assistant all in one. Every day he would come over after work with a new story about the day’s adventures that got wilder as time went on, but at least he got paid pretty well.

“No, definitely not. I would’ve been worked into an early grave by this point if that were true,” he chuckles, the mood lifting instantly with the sound of his laughter. “If you’re really curious about what I’ve been doing, I could take you tomorrow to show you.”

Your cheeks burn at his offer, but a small “sure” escapes you before you can stop it. He smiles at you in earnest and you match his expression despite the nervousness growing in your chest over what you’ve just agreed to.

“Hongjoong!” you hear his mother call in the distance. “Joongie!”

He exhales begrudgingly and hands you the bottle of red. “I guess that’s my cue. Note to self: next time, don’t carpool with your parents.”

You snicker at his comment, knowing full well that, despite his words, he will likely do it again if they ask him to because he cares about them so much, even if it means being on their schedule.

Hongjoong carefully stands and shuffles his way closer to the open window, stopping when half his body is already inside to peek out and see you once again. “I’ll pick you up around one.”

“I’ll be ready.”

He seems to hesitate before speaking. “I’m really glad I got to see you tonight. I missed you.”

Before you can reply, he has already escaped indoors, off to find his parents so he can escort them home. You let out a deep sigh you weren’t aware you’d been holding, your breath turning instantly to fog that dissipates into the chilly night. Your heart is a hurricane of unclear emotions just from this one conversation. Some of Hongjoong’s words even echo mercilessly in your mind.

Doesn’t everyone have regrets, though? Things they would do differently if they had the chance?

You try your hardest to not imagine exactly what he is referring to or think of the things that you are suddenly feeling regretful over. Having to ponder either has your chest constricting with anxiety and doubt, so you simply lay back against the cold shingles of the rooftop once more and search for images in the bright rural stars that can finally shine freely without the overwhelming light pollution of the city.

In considering your plans with Hongjoong, you think that tomorrow can’t come soon enough, but you also hope it never comes. It is a strange contradiction that leaves you feeling torn between both hope and fear. You aren’t even sure what exactly you are wishing to happen tomorrow, but for now you at least decide to go to bed so the chaos in your mind will cease.

~

By the time one o’clock rolls around, you’ve spent the entire morning frantically obsessing over what to wear, how to style your hair, and how much makeup to put on. It’s not like there is much fashion guidance for meeting up with your estranged childhood best friend with whom you have an inexplicable deep-seated connection that you’ve always been afraid to approach. Your family simply observed in confusion as you tried on every piece of clothing you brought in your suitcase, had a mini mental breakdown because you should’ve packed something better, and ultimately ended up in the very first outfit you tried on. By the concerned way they’ve been looking at you, they surely believe that the city must have turned you into an absolute nut. Honestly, they might not be wrong.

From where you sit anxiously bouncing your leg on the living room sofa, you can hear Hongjoong’s car crunching down the gravel driveway and force yourself to take a steadying breath before you stand.

“Be cool. It’s just Hongjoong. You got this,” you murmur to yourself in assurance despite your dad being seated just a few feet away.

“You do got this, sweetie,” he teases as you shoot him a playful glare, to which he chuckles amusedly. You’re just thankful he doesn’t ask why you’re freaking out so much about meeting the person you spent your entire youth with. That level of nosiness really is more your mom’s speed, but even she has refrained from questioning your odd behavior today.

Hongjoong is already climbing the few stairs to your front porch when you step outside. He stops and stares for just a split moment, his eyes raking instinctively over your figure in a manner that has you trying to ignore the burning heat in your cheeks.

“Hey. You look nice,” he compliments while flashing his perfect smile in your direction.

“Thanks, you do too.”

It may just sound like pleasantries, but he really does look good in the oversized navy sweater and light denim jeans he is wearing. Him wearing nice clothing is something you aren’t quite used to yet, but you definitely aren’t complaining, even if it does cause butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“Ready to go?” he asks as you join his side.

“Ready if you are.”

He leads you to the same SUV he’s been driving since high school and kindly opens the passenger door for you, waiting until you are settled to close it gently. You can’t even remember how many nights you spent hanging out in this car just talking or getting high on some relaxed weekends, the two of you often finding a secluded place to park and just chill together. It isn’t a luxury vehicle by any means but Hongjoong had specifically upgraded the sound system long ago just so you could bump the new music you were always playing for him. Even if he wasn’t into the music itself, he adored seeing how excited you’d get when sharing something you love, so the AUX cord effectively came under your ownership despite the fact that he was always the one driving.

“And we’re off,” Hongjoong hums to himself, having climbed in the driver’s seat and started the car during your nostalgic flashbacks.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?”

“You know where we’re going,” he jokes merrily. “I’m going to show you what I’ve been up to.”

You roll your eyes with a dramatic scoff, knowing he’s pressing your buttons just for fun. “You know what I mean. Do I only get to find out once we get there?”

“Bingo,” he sing-songs. “No spoilers.”

“Oh god, you aren’t going to take me to some murder den, are you?”

He slaps his thigh dramatically as he bursts into laughter, the sound like music to your ears as you settle back into a comfortable rhythm rather quickly.

“Definitely not, but if I were taking you to one, I wouldn’t tell you anyways.”

“Fair point, but be warned. I took two taekwondo lessons in college and can be lethal when I want to,” you mock with a playful chop of the air for emphasis.

“Ah, I will watch out for your amazing white belt skills, then,” he snickers. “You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“You don’t think I have?”

Honestly, you had been thinking that you were the only thing to have changed (besides his appearance), but his words do make you think that you have been settling more and more into yourself as you spend time with him. 

“No, you’re definitely the same weirdo you’ve always been.”

You lightly slap his arm in retaliation for the name calling, to which he responds in a comically dramatic fashion. As you both continue to joke around, though, his words still linger in the back of your mind. Are you really the same person you were then?

It takes all of five minutes before he is pulling up to the curb near one of the old brick buildings towards the end of main street. It almost looks like a townhome with how it’s sandwiched on both sides by other buildings, a quaint style signature of small towns. Of course you recognize the place, but you’ve only ever been in the storefront at its base, a cute little candle and soap shop run by the couple who lives three doors down from you.

“Ah, so you’re a chandler now?” you ask in confusion as you both exit the car and step onto the uneven stone sidewalk.

Hongjoong laughs under his breath in reply and envelops your hand in his as he leads you to an unmarked entrance. It is positioned to the left of the shop’s windows where one building almost becomes the next, and you likely wouldn’t have paid it any mind if he weren’t pulling you inside of it.

Rather than focusing much on the door, however, your mind is busy trying to comprehend his casual attitude towards holding your hand, as if he wasn’t trying to give you a handshake instead of a hug less than 24 hours ago. But because he treats it normally, you don’t mention it or pull away either, especially not remarking on the fluttering feeling it gives you even as he takes you up a set of creaky and uneven stairs. The dim lighting here also makes you think maybe you were right about the murder den…

As you reach the second floor, Hongjoong lets go of your hand to fish his keys from his pocket, using the only golden one to unlock the first door on your right. Once you both step inside, you are relieved to find that the walls and floors are not covered in plastic and blood. Instead, you find a quaint photography studio equipped with fancy lights, multiple tripods, a plush couch, backdrops ready to be rolled down, and a messy desk in the corner.

“Wow, Joong! This is amazing,” you coo, the nickname naturally slipping out as your eyes continue to wander around the room.

“It’s nothing special. I’ve been renting this space out for a couple years after saving up enough so now I actually have a place for shoots,” he explains humbly. “I also do nature photography that I license out since there are so many pretty landscapes around here.”

“So this is all yours?”

“Yeah. It’s not much, but it makes me happy.”

You glance over at him to see his contented expression as he talks about his work, making you pleased that he has found something meaningful and satisfying to do. At the same time, you can’t help the tinge of jealousy at seeing how much he loves what he does. Every time you even think about having to go to work, you’re instantly put in a bad mood and dreading the moment you have to clock in.

As Hongjoong feels the weight of your stare and his eyes meet yours, you immediately whip your head elsewhere to continue looking around, ignoring the rush of embarrassment flowing through you from being caught. You do your best to pretend you don’t hear his under-the-breath chuckle.

As you scan over his work space, you notice the wall of framed photos and stroll over to admire his work. You recognize all the smiling faces inside the portraits and a grin creeps onto your face at the sight.

“Are these–”

“Everyone in town, yeah. Well, not everyone is up on the wall, but the rest are in my portfolio. When they found out I wanted to pursue photography as a career, they all decided to come get their portraits taken to support me and get me started financially. Sweet, huh?” he remembers fondly as you continue to admire the heart-warming joy on the faces of everyone you know.

“Really sweet.”

Looking at their happy expressions, you feel a mixture of fondness and melancholy pang in your heart. All of these people who have loved and looked after you at some point in your life, facing you now with such elation…

Though you can’t quite explain why, it makes you sad to think of them all continuing to live happily without you while you were gone. It’s not that you want them to have spent the time miserable or anything, but you can’t help feeling like you’ve missed out on a happiness that you had always been a part of.

You think back on the photos that have been taken of you over the last six years and can’t imagine a single one where you are smiling as genuinely as any of the people here. You’ve had to force a smile on your face for long enough that it felt normal, but seeing these portraits puts your thoughts into a different perspective, especially considering their backstory.

“They really did all that for you?” you ask not because you don’t believe it, but because it is difficult to comprehend such a beautiful act of kindness that shows just how much the people of this town care for each other.

“Yeah. The perks of small town living, everyone is basically one giant family.”

“Right. You definitely wouldn’t see something like this in the city…” You wonder if Hongjoong can pick up on the sadness behind your words or the way your face has fallen. He steps up right next to you and looks down in concern, signifying he must have noticed.

“You haven’t made any friends there? I’m sure they would do a similar thing for you,” he coos in an attempt to comfort you, but you just sigh as a frown continues to decorate your face.

“I have a few, but that’s not what I mean. This kind of community. This kind of connection…” You pause as you try to think of what it is you mean to say. “When I’m there, it feels as though I could disappear into thin air and no one would notice. No one would care. I have no place there. Not like you all have a place here.”

The impact of your honest words only hits you as you hear them escape your own mouth. You never fully realized the degree of dissatisfaction you have been living with until this moment in which the truth that you’ve been ignoring has begun clawing its way out of the depths of your mind and into fruition. Somehow speaking these grievances out loud immediately makes them feel exponentially more real.

It doesn’t help that, right above the sofa, there are a few smaller, blurrier pictures hanging that catch your attention. As you step in front of them to get a better look, your heart practically cracks in half at what you find.

“Oh, those are just… some old pictures,” Hongjoong mumbles awkwardly, unsure of how to address this entire situation. 

In each of the small frames sits an image of you two, the timing ranging all the way from childhood up until the day you left for college. In each of them, by his side, you look truly happy… and so does he.

You carefully remove one from the wall and sit down on the couch to stare at it. Behind the layer of glass is the same image of you two at graduation that you had been admiring just last night, your face painted in joy as you laugh at Hongjoong. The very same man, though now grown up, takes a seat directly next to you and peeks at the picture as well.

Despite the embarrassment he is feeling from you discovering his little montage of fond memories, his heart is starting to ache at how quickly your mood has sunk since entering the room. He can tell just how much sadness you are carrying, and he can’t help but feel it as if it’s his own. After all, you two have always been so intensely connected that you share each other’s pain just as much as you share your happiness.

Seeing you move to the city, despite always knowing that day would come, was one of the darkest times of his life. But, being the supportive and caring friend (or whatever it is that you two are) that he is, he never once let you know just how badly he wished you would stay. He has always made it a priority to put your happiness and your dreams first because, even though he has never said anything, it has always been you.

Everything in his life has forever centered around you, including his heart– no, especially his heart. He has known that he loves you since before he can ever remember. As kids, he knew that he loved being with you and being friends, but it was only once he got older that he fully realized the depth of his feelings and what “being in love” truly meant. Even as a young teen, he was sure that this was the only word that could describe his affection for you, and he has always been pretty damn sure that you feel the same way too. 

At the same time, however, you had already been dreaming of an urban lifestyle for a long while, taking any opportunity you could get to gush about your future endeavors. The question of whether or not to approach your shared feelings plagued him for years, but he knew that crossing that line would possibly keep you from pursuing the new life you’ve always wanted. Hongjoong, sometimes far too mature for his age, refused to be the one thing holding you back from happiness. If you wanted to move to the city and live that glamorous life, then that is what he wanted for you too. 

As a result, he resolved to never push the boundaries of your relationship unless you were the one to initiate it. He would only allow himself the pleasure of being with you if that is what you decided that you wanted. That doesn’t mean it didn’t kill him every day to hold back, though.

Seeing you like this, he wants nothing more than to scoop you up in a giant hug, kiss your forehead, and tell you anything and everything that will make you smile again, but maybe that is pushing a bit too far. Instead, he chooses to address your notion of having no place, the idea of you truly believing no one cares upsetting him immensely.

“You know, you have a place here too. Not just ‘us,’” he calmly assuages you, though it just makes your heart ache more.

“Not anymore. I left.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t come back.”

“After spending my whole life talking about how I’m going to make it big in the city? I may not be succeeding in life right now, but to become that big of a failure…”

“It’s not failure,” he interjects with authority, causing you to finally look up at him. “Changing your mind and choosing what makes you happy doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you really brave, actually.”

When you fail to respond, he worries that he may have been too forward and quickly back pedals.

“I’m not saying you have to come back. What you want to do with your life is up to you. It’s just that you don’t seem… happy.”

His words hit you like a truck, as well as the realization that follows.

You don’t seem happy?

No, you aren’t happy.

You aren’t happy that you chose to move to the city. You aren’t happy that you so easily let Hongjoong leave your life. You aren’t happy that you’ve settled for dissatisfaction for the past six years. You aren’t happy that you are now here next to the person who makes you happiest, in the place that makes you happiest, only now realizing that you aren’t fucking happy.

And in this moment, you’re curious as to whether he isn’t happy about it either.

“Joong?”

“Hm?”

Although he doesn’t show it, his heart beats at a mile per minute in anticipation of what could possibly be going on in your mind. Even though he can usually read you like a book, there are times when your formidable silence causes anxiety to course through his veins and occupy his every thought in trying to decipher your emotions.

“When you said you have regrets– things you would do differently… what exactly were you talking about?”

Here it is. The moment you’ve always dreaded would come in which one of you finally addresses the unspoken depths of your relationship– finally makes it known that you’ve both been skirting around this delicate subject all along. You never thought you’d be the one to do it, and yet here you are.

Hongjoong’s mind is a flurry of chaos as he registers exactly what you are alluding to, trying to decide whether or not he should admit the truth that you’ve both left ignored. His mind flashes back to the moment he spotted you yesterday and the rush of emotions that instantly flowed through his body. It was as if the past six years he spent trying to let you go meant nothing as you reappeared in his life like flowers once again blooming after a long, hard winter. Even through his awkwardness and anxiety during that first interaction, he could feel the same familiar comfort that only you could provide, a comfort that makes him feel safe and loved.

Now, sitting here as you watch him expectantly, he can’t bear the thought of letting you go again. Just imagining it has him feeling like someone has reached into his chest and ripped out his beating heart. If you hate the city as much as you appear to, would it really be so bad if he finally allowed you both to explore this thing between you? Would he really be keeping you from anything if it’s a life you’ve already explored and, supposedly, don’t like? Even if you haven’t directly said that you want him, surely you wouldn’t bring this matter up if you didn’t want to hear his honest answer.

Hongjoong looks like a deer in headlights at your question as he contemplates his reply, and you are about to take it all back.

Fuck it, he ultimately thinks to himself, speaking before you can retract your query.

“You,” he states simply, a more confident expression appearing on his face as he has collected himself and realized it is now or never. Your eye contact never breaks and you can hear the sound of your heart pumping against your chest. His hand even rises to cup your blushed cheek, his touch sending sparks of electricity through your body.

“The one thing I would do differently… I would go back and be selfish. Let you know that you leaving tore me apart inside. Let you know how I really feel about you– how I’ve always felt about you. I would do everything possible to stay in contact with you, no matter how much it hurt.”

“Joong…”

“I wouldn’t wait until I’ve already lost you to realize just how badly I need you.”

His thumb gently rubs back and forth against your cheek as he speaks more eloquently and sincerely than you’ve ever heard him before. Tears burn at the corners of your eyes, but you refuse to let them spill.

“Joong, you haven’t lost me,” you murmur softly.

His eyes search yours for a split second before he is leaning in–oh god he is leaning in. Your limbs are instantly frozen as your brain struggles to process the dramatic turn of events in the past few minutes, your mind in an absolute state of confusion and chaos as he gets closer. For the first time ever, he presses his lips gently against yours, and it is enough to shock your system awake.

A split second later, you are shooting up from your position on the couch. Hongjoong follows your lead in a panic, his face flushed from the kiss.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have–”

“No– It’s not– I just– I just… need to think,” you stammer with difficulty while trying to look at anything but him.

In your moment of fight or flight, you quickly set down the frame you were holding and rush out the door towards the exit. You can hear Hongjoong following you outside and onto the sidewalk. When you continue past his car, and in the direction of your house, he calls after you.

“Y/N! Just let me drive you home!”

“No, it’s okay. I’m going to walk… and think. I need to just think.”

You feel awful leaving him with such an anxious expression on his face, but you turn and keep walking anyway, driven solely by autopilot like some kind of robot programmed to escape emotionally turbulent situations. Of all the things you imagined happening today, this was not something you foresaw: the weight of the world crashing down upon your shoulders as you realize how much you hate the life you’ve made for yourself, only to finally dive headfirst into the feelings you’ve always harbored for Hongjoong just moments after.

It is overwhelming to say the very least.

~

A few hours later, as the sun is just beginning to set, you pull up to the secluded spot by the lake where Hongjoong’s car is already parked. You two used to hide away here all the time as teenagers, where no one was ever able to find you. Together, you’d discovered the little opening long ago and made it a point to keep it a strict secret, a place where it would only ever be the two of you. Hongjoong has also regularly used the space as a little getaway where he does all his thinking, much like how you stargaze from your rooftop. That is exactly why you knew you would find him here.

After running off earlier in the day, you spent a few hours just trying to process everything you are feeling and what it all means. Your poor parents were once again mystified at your odd behavior as you locked yourself away to think, but you’ve ultimately come to many realizations and conclusions that you should’ve acknowledged years ago. With your thoughts in order, your next priority is to visit your best friend and sort out the whole situation that you’ve created. You’re sure he must be feeling just as unsettled as you were after the events of this afternoon.

As you park next to his SUV, you see Hongjoong’s silhouette seated by the edge of the water. He doesn’t need to turn around and look to know it is you, so he just waits as you approach him, the only sounds being the crunching leaves under your feet and the crickets singing in the distance. You sit to his left where there is room on the small blanket he uses to keep his pants from getting dirty. A cold breeze rustles the trees and you pull your jacket even tighter around your body. The warm hues of the sunset cast his features in subtle hints of pinks and oranges, causing you to momentarily admire his beauty even though the tense air has your chest feeling tight.

“Figured I’d find you here. Mind if I join?” you ask, echoing his words from last night in an attempt to lighten the mood. He glances over and offers you a small smile, but you can clearly see the anxiety still resting in his face.

“Technically, you’ve already joined,” he replies in jest, bumping his shoulder against yours lightly to show that he doesn’t actually mind. You turn your gaze back to the water so it’s easier for you to speak. If you could still see every minute change in his expression, you aren’t sure you’d be able to say what you’ve been pondering for the last few hours.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” your murmur as your fingers fiddle with the hem of your shirt. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you.”

He sighs. “I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have said anything and especially shouldn’t have done anything without your permission–”

“No, Joong, it’s not that.” You can feel his stare burning holes into your skin, but you still can’t bring yourself to look over. His silence prompts you to continue. “It was just a lot for me, all at once. About the city stuff, I just started acknowledging a lot of things that I’d ignored for so long, and it was obviously overwhelming to suddenly realize that you hate the life you’ve chosen. I mean, I’ve spent my whole life working towards and dreaming of the glamor of the city so it kind of feels–and I don’t even know if this makes sense–but it feels like part of my identity. I’ve placed myself on this path and deviating from it felt almost like a betrayal… or a failure.”

“You already know what I think about that,” he mumbles in response to your last statement.

“I know, I know. Objectively I can see that it doesn’t necessarily make me a failure, but it’s hard to not feel that way.” Hongjoong hums in understanding, staying mostly quiet to let you say what you need to. Nonetheless, half of his mind continues to worry about when you’ll address his confession.

“I realized I’ve spent my whole life thinking I would be someone that, in reality, I’m just not. As much as I’d love to be that person who thrives in the fast-paced, achievement-oriented world, that isn’t what actually made me happy. I spent so much time dreaming about a new life that I didn’t even stop to realize that I was already happy here, where people know and care about me.”

You smile up at the glowing pink clouds in the distance, surprisingly at peace with your realizations after spending hours thinking them through (and perhaps freaking out for a number of those hours, but that is beside the point).

“I guess, subconsciously, that’s why I never came back to visit until I was forced to. Maybe some part of me knew I would remember how life used to be filled with so much joy and love, so I just pushed everything away that reminded me of this town. Including you. Which wasn’t fair.”

“Does that mean you’re moving back?” Hongjoong tries not to get his hopes up too much as he asks the question, but he can’t hide the excitement in his voice. You spent a long time considering this question once you came to terms with all your feelings about the last six years, but the answer seems both incredibly simple and incredibly complicated at the same time.

“I think I want to, but what would I do here? I can’t just come back and mooch off my parents.”

Even if your parents would be fine with it, your pride won’t allow you to take that big of a step back after living on your own for so long. Although you are pretty damn sure by now that you want to come home, there are a lot of logistics that you need to take into account.

“You could do the same thing you’ve always dreamed of: open up a little cafe with the best coffee in town. Just do it here instead of there.” Joong forces himself to keep from blabbering on about how he knows the perfect spot just a couple buildings down from his studio, the people you could contact to get it remodeled, where to find some good discounted furniture, and more. No matter how desperately he wants you to come back, he refuses to pressure you into anything.

Opening up shop here isn’t something you’d even thought about since you’d always been so stuck on your vision of a busy backstreet cafe, but starting a business here would actually make a lot of sense. Of course, it would take a lot of work and monetary investment, but considering how the community helped Hongjoong in his photography career, you are sure that they wouldn’t let you fail either. Having that sense of support as a foundation makes the idea seem all the more appealing.

“Do you think I’d be able to do it?” you ask for the last boost of confidence you need to make up your mind.

“As cliche as it sounds, I think you can do anything you set your mind to.” You chuckle at just how cheesy he is. “It wouldn’t be easy, for sure, but you already know that everyone here would do anything they can to help you. And I may not know a ton about business, but I can offer my services as well. I’d do whatever it is you need to make you happy.”

Your cheeks burn at his suave words. Even if he didn’t mean to sound so romantic, his statement has you melting. How could you have ever let him leave your life?

From the fluttering of your heart, you remember that there is one other unresolved issue that you two have yet to discuss.

“Joong?”

The sound of your voice immediately suggests where this conversation is going. Hongjoong feels as though his heart has stopped beating and his breath silently catches in his throat. He had almost forgotten the main reason he was so anxious to talk to you in the first place, but now he can tell what is coming next. The tension in his chest only gets worse once you turn to look at him with earnest eyes.

“What you said earlier…” you start, a blush coming to your face from saying this out loud. “Did you really mean it?”

“Would I joke about something like that?” You know he wouldn’t, but you want to hear him confirm it.

“That’s a cop out. Yes or no,” you push.

“Yes, of course I meant it. Every word.” Hongjoong’s racing heart thumps wildly against his chest despite the cool attitude he is attempting to display.

“Why didn’t you bring it up back then? Before I left?”

“I never wanted to be the person who held you back from your dreams,” he admits, surprising you slightly. You thought maybe he was just too afraid or didn’t want to risk your friendship, but this…

“What do you mean?” He exhales and finally turns his face away from yours, the eye contact becoming too intense for him to maintain while also discussing this topic.

“I was afraid that by bringing up… us, you might not try living the life you’ve always wanted. Telling you how I felt, knowing it would make it hard for you to leave, just felt like a selfish thing to do,” he admits in all honesty. He rubs his hands against his jeans as he continues, too antsy to hold still. “When you asked me that question earlier, I just couldn’t imagine letting you go a second time. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again.”

You can feel your eyes welling with tears from hearing just how much he truly cares for you, enough to put his own happiness aside and whole-heartedly support your dreams even when they didn’t include him.

“So you’ve felt it too?” you ask timidly as you both gaze at each other once again. You’ve always known the answer to this question, but hearing him say it out loud is something entirely different, a tipping point that neither of you will be able to turn back from. You don’t even need to clarify what you’re asking because Hongjoong just knows.

“How could I not?” he scoffs, the answer seeming obvious to him. “But I’ll never pursue anything that you don’t want.”

“Who said I don’t want it?” You aren’t sure where your sudden brazenness comes from. Perhaps you are just surprised he hasn’t stopped to consider just how much you care for him too, even if you made some mistakes along the way.

Hongjoong blinks a few times in confusion. “But earlier, you ran off when I…”

“Joong, it really was just because it was a lot to process all at once. It isn’t because I don’t feel the same way about you.”

Hongjoong feels like his heart has swollen to ten times its normal size as his anxiety over the earlier interaction is quelled. And now to hear you finally confirm your own feelings for him, he thinks he must be on cloud nine.

You gently reach over and take his hand in yours, the sensation familiar except for the (now overtly) romantic context. His warm skin heats your frozen fingertips that have continued to get chillier as the sun has tucked itself away beyond the horizon.

“It has always been you,” you explain softly. “I always knew you were my person– my soulmate– but I was afraid to acknowledge that it was love for a long time. The answer seemed so obvious, but also so uncertain and scary.”

“Do I scare you?” he jokes, flashing his blinding smile in your direction as you laugh and roll your eyes. It is relieving to have the serious tension washed away.

“As if you could scare anyone,” you scoff. “I was afraid of– I don’t know– ruining our friendship, I guess. You never approached it, so I just ignored it too.”

You gaze at your intertwined hands as your thumb strokes his skin softly. “Earlier today, when I was questioning everything I’ve ever wanted, the only thing I never questioned was wanting you.”

“Yeah?” 

You give him a timid nod. Hongjoong seems to get even more nervous as he clears his throat and plays with your fingers restlessly. ��Now that we both know, what are we going to do about it?”

Compared to earlier, when he boldly laid his heart out in front of you and made the first move, he is now much more shy. You can tell his stomach is erupting with butterflies, just like yours is, and it is honestly adorable. Your eyes flit back up to his face and you see his blushing cheeks under the fading light. He looks so perfect like this and there is only one thing you want to do.

Before you can overthink it, you boldly reach around to the back of his neck and pull him closer to connect his soft lips with yours. After a moment of surprise, he returns the kiss whole-heartedly, his hands resting on the sides of your face as he holds you near. You melt into each other’s embrace, the kiss entirely different from earlier. Instead of being shrouded in uncertainty and confusion, it now feels like you have finally found something that has always been missing. It just feels right. 

From the way your lips move in perfect time to the warmth that fills your heart, Hongjoong feels like home in every way possible. All of the worries you’ve dealt with in the past 24 hours, perhaps even the past six years, fade away at the comfort of having him in your arms, where he plans to stay forever.

As you get lost in the sensation, your kisses get more desperate and heated. Hongjoong has no problem matching your pace, though, when he has already waited over 24 long years for this moment. Your hands get a little excited in roaming his body, feeling down the expanse of his broad shoulders and toned chest. You never allowed yourself to fantasize about being this physical with him, but now it’s as if the floodgates have opened and you want nothing more than to be all over him.

When your hand just barely slips under the hem of his sweater and makes contact with his skin, he gasps at the chill of your fingertips and separates your lips. His hands are still pressed against your cheeks as he caresses your skin. You simply peer into each other’s eyes, a hungry look enough for you both to understand what’s going to happen.

With a playful giggle, you shoot up from your spot on the ground and start jogging towards his car. Halfway there, you glance back to find him still seated.

“Are you coming or not, slow poke?” you call out, breaking him of his daze. It takes only seconds for him to bolt up and over to you, grabbing your hand and tugging you along the rest of the way with a giddy smile on his face.

“Hold on,” he commands as he jets from one side of the car to the other, rapidly folding down the backseats of his SUV to create one big, flat area in the back of his car. Your body tingles with excitement at the sight. He has already climbed inside when he reaches his hand out to you. “Are you coming or not, slow poke?”

You roll your eyes at his cheekiness and follow his lead, albeit a bit ungracefully. Within moments, you two are all over each other once again, hands roaming freely as he guides you to lay back against the floor of the vehicle. It is by no means comfortable, but you can’t bring yourself to be bothered by the stiff surface, not when all of your senses are being entirely consumed by Hongjoong and the heat radiating from his body.

He hovers over your form, one hand keeping his weight from crushing you while the other follows the curve of your torso down to your waist, where his fingers dig into your flesh needily. Feeling desperate, he grinds his hips against yours, eliciting a moan from both your mouths at the pleasurable friction. Only when your hands grip at the hem of his sweater and start to pull it off does he break the kiss and grab your wrist to keep you still for a moment. He gazes down at you softly and you wonder why he stopped.

“Are you sure you want to move this fast? You don’t usually sleep with guys so quickly, or at least you didn’t before. And it’s me, so I don’t know if that changes things…” he babbles somewhat awkwardly, wanting to make sure you have thought this through.

You grin at his concern and press a quick peck to his cheek. “Joong, it’s because it’s you that I want to move this fast.”

He blushes beet red as the corners of his lips perk up.

“Are you okay with this?” you ask, not wanting to pressure him into anything.

He simply scoffs. “Is that even a question?”

With that, he is sitting up and pulling his top off in one fluid motion. You’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times in your life, but this is different. Not only has his body become more toned and mature, just the thought of this sight being all yours from now on has your pussy aching for attention. You can’t help but reach out to run your fingers down his abdomen, admiring the goosebumps that raise on his skin from your featherlike touch. Your hand settles on his belt buckle and you give it a good tug, pulling him back down to press your lips against his.

“Fuck, that was hot,” he pants through hungry kisses.

His nimble hands make quick work of your jacket and shirt, only breaking away from you when he has to. As he goes to unclasp your bra, you fumble with his belt buckle, reaching into his pants to palm him over his boxers as soon as you get it open. He groans at the sensation, his cock already hard in its confines.

“Excited?” you tease as he removes your bra entirely, leaving your top bare. He smirks haughtily as he tweaks your pebbled nipples and evokes a small gasp from you.

“You act as if I won’t find you already soaking wet for me when I slip these jeans off,” he purrs before bringing his lips down to suck on one of your breasts.

Hearing such filthy words coming from his mouth for the first time has you reeling and a moan unknowingly escapes you. He glances up with a look that clearly reads “that’s what I thought.”

God you never knew he could look this hot. From the lecherous glint in his eyes to the controlled dominance in his tone, everything about this man is driving you absolutely crazy. Still, his challenging statement has you wanting to provoke him just a bit more. 

“You think I’m that easy, Joong?”

He chuckles at your instigation while he now focuses on swiftly stripping your bottom half. 

“Not easy,” he coos as you lift your hips so he can remove your jeans and underwear. “Just horny.”

Your heart races as he gently spreads your legs apart and gazes down at your needy sex. He bites his lip at the sight and curses under his breath. A mixture of excitement and embarrassment settles in your gut from being so exposed. Here you are, laid out bare for your best friend–now more– to feast his eyes upon. It is almost too much to handle, your heart fluttering wildly at the scene playing out before you.

Hongjoong wastes no time in lowering himself onto his stomach so that his face hovers just inches from where you crave him most.

“You’re even prettier than I imagined.”

He wants nothing more than to dive right into you and never again be separated from your perfect pussy. Needing to prove a point, however, he runs his middle finger up the length of your slit, smirking as he sees it glisten in the dim moonlight.

“Who’s the excited one now?” he taunts, usurping the upper hand in this battle of wills.

Before you can quip back at him, he is licking a flat stripe along your cunt, his tongue stopping as it meets your clit to suck it past his soft lips. You moan erotically from the sensation and your back arches, only to be pushed back down by Hongjoong’s firm hands. He begins lapping at your sensitive bud, causing you to reach down and grip at his locks. The sting in his scalp only spurs him on.

“So good,” you whimper pathetically, all thoughts of denying just how badly you want him now gone out the window. When his tongue flicks against you just right, you gasp. “Fuck, why are you so good at this?”

He just smirks against you and glances up to meet your eyes with a puppy dog look that would scream pure innocence if it weren’t for the fact that half his face is obscured by your needy pussy, which he devours like a man starved for a thousand years. Your praise, combined with the euphoria painted on your face, has him dying to please you even more, so he brings his hand down to your hole and easily slips his middle finger inside. He curls it up to rub along that certain spot inside you and your toes instantly curl in pleasure.

Small droplets of water run down the car’s windows from how foggy it has become, neither of you having to worry about the cold outside since you’ve practically turned Hongjoong’s vehicle into a sauna through your body heat. In fact, it is almost too warm for comfort, beads of sweat forming at your brow, but neither of you pay it any mind.

“More, please,” you mewl feebly.

Like the gentleman he is, Hongjoong obliges by adding another finger along with his first and dragging them languidly against your walls. His tongue never lets up its movement, switching between sucking and lapping at your clit as you grip his hair hard enough to keep from floating off to heaven. As you moan his name, his fingers pick up their pace and you can feel the knot in your core tightening. Your soaking pussy makes a lewd squelching sound as he continues and you immediately feel embarrassed, but the way that Hongjoong groans so obscenely in response to the noise clues you in to how much he likes it, thus washing away your trepidation. The pleasure is overwhelming, and you can’t help but buck your hips against his face, especially when you notice him grinding against the floor of the car in an attempt to alleviate some of his own neediness. 

“Gonna cum for me, baby?” he slurs as he hears your shameless whimpers and feels you clenching harder around his digits.

As tempting as it is, you don’t want to cum just yet, so you use your hold on his hair to pull him off of your sex. His fingers automatically stop as well as he looks up at you in confusion.

“You okay?” The worry is palpable in his voice and you can tell he thinks he’s done something wrong. 

“I’m fine, Joong. I just want to cum with you in me,” you explain, your brain fogging at the vulgar sight of his glistening lips and chin.

“Fuck you’re killing me.” Your filthy request, and your obvious desperation for his body, has him melting like putty in your hands.

He pulls his fingers from your hole and makes a show of licking them clean, his eyes never leaving yours as you watch with bated breath. As he releases his digits with a pop, you can’t take it anymore. You spring up from the floor, kissing him passionately as you guide him to lay down on his back. Your diligent hands take no time in removing the rest of his clothing, his cock springing free as you slip off his bottoms.

“Holy shit,” you curse emphatically as you take in his impressive size. “You’ve been walking around with that thing between your legs this whole time?”

“Well it’s not like I got it installed last week,” he chuckles as he strokes his length casually. You don’t even bother acknowledging his joke. You are simply too desperate to have him inside you to waste any more time on fun and games.

You swing your leg over to straddle Joong, grabbing the base of his dick to help position it at your hole. As you look down at him, he nods minutely, as if approving of this final line that you two are crossing. In response, you start to slowly sink down on his cock, your pussy wet enough to make the process easier despite his overwhelming size.

“Oh my god,” you gasp with your mouth agape as you fit him entirely inside. You’ve never felt more full, and you can tell Hongjoong feels just as good by the elongated moan that he lets out. “You’re so fucking big.”

“And you’re so fucking tight.”

He lets you take a minute to adjust as you feel your walls flutter spastically to accommodate him. His hands rest on your hips, rubbing small circles into your skin as he bites his lip and waits for you to take the lead. Only when you start to move on your own does he assist you in grinding down on his length. A stuttered groan escapes him and your head falls back as you bask in the feeling of his dick pressing into all the right places.

“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this,” he purrs as the car rocks with your movement.

The thought of him having fantasized of this scene before has your core clenching. You wonder how many nights he stayed up imagining you underneath him, filling you up perfectly and pleasing you just as you deserve. Your (previously) seemingly innocent best friend must have touched himself a thousand times to the thought of your desperate moans begging for more as he stretches out your tight cunt, only to then face you each day as if he didn’t spend each evening with you running around his mind while his hand was down his pants.

“Did your dreams feel as good as this?”

“Nothing feels as good as this.”

He playfully smacks your ass and, in an effort to satisfy him even more, you switch to bouncing on his thick cock. The car squeaks in protest with each meeting of your hips, but the breathtaking pleasure is immediate. Joong, who consistently lets out unabashed moans, intertwines your fingers with his so that he can support your movements. Using your held hands as leverage, you increase your speed and intensity.

Hongjoong watches you with his bottom lip between his teeth as you get lost in the pleasure and pathetic whines fall from your mouth. He becomes transfixed by the way your tits bounce so pornographically in time with how you fuck yourself on his dick, your soft flesh looking so deliciously pliant from this angle. As his hands move back to your hips to urge you on, he even admires the small divots in your skin created by his fingers. Everything about you just seems so incomprehensibly perfect at this moment.

Eventually, your pace starts to falter as your thighs burn with exhaustion and Hongjoong takes that as his cue. You yelp in surprise as he uses his strength to swing you to the side and onto your back, once again positioning himself above you. Your hands rest on his shoulders as he pauses for a moment to just marvel at your beauty.

“I can’t believe this is finally happening,” he admits shyly despite the fact that his cock is still plunged deep in your pussy.

“How can I make you believe it?” You peck along his jawline before meeting his lips for a much slower, more romantic kiss.

“Cum for me.”

He once again begins lazily pumping his dick in and out of your cunt, your nails digging into his shoulders from the feeling.

“Harder, please,” you fuss impatiently.

Hongjoong smiles to himself at how adorable he finds you when you pout, but quickly submits to your request by beginning to pound roughly into you. Even though you asked for it, the force behind the snapping of his hips takes you by surprise, causing you to let out a gasp that turns into a high-pitched moan. He sucks a hickey into the sensitive spot on your neck as you wrap your legs around his waist and listen to the sound of his pleased groans.

The knot in your core is again tightening from his unrelenting assault on your pussy and Joong can feel you clenching desperately around his cock. He sits back on his knees and uses his hands to push your legs up against your chest, effectively folding you in half, before continuing his absolutely brutal pace. From this angle, he perfectly hits your g-spot with every thrust. Spots dance in your vision from the mind-boggling pleasure and you can tell that your climax is just moments away.

“Hold your legs, baby,” Hongjoong commands as he also senses your impending orgasm.

Though your limbs feel like jelly, you somehow manage to grip the backs of your knees, keeping yourself in place as Joong lets one hand go to rub furious circles against your clit. Your toes curl as your muscles tense instinctively, your body sent into overdrive by his expertise.

“Holy– fuck– Joong–” you pant through forceful thrusts.

“Let go, baby,” he purrs. “Cum.”

His indecent demand is the last straw that sends you over the edge, your legs shaking as your high washes over your body. Your mind goes completely blank and his name falls from your lips like a mantra as the euphoria seems to last for hours.

Hongjoong can barely keep pumping into you with how tightly you constrict around him. His own orgasm isn’t far off, and after a few more thrusts into your fluttering hole, he is pulling out and spilling his seed over your stomach with a moan.

As you both start to come down from the bliss of your climaxes, you slowly let your aching legs back down and Joong lays down next to you. Both of you fight to catch your breath and slow your racing hearts. Eventually, Hongjoong grabs one of his socks from where it was strewn earlier and uses it to clean his cum off your skin. You giggle at sight and rest your head against his chest the moment he is done.

“That was–”

“Amazing,” he finishes, to which you agree.

“And to think that 24 hours ago you were trying to shake my hand when we met again like some kind of diplomat.” He chuckles at the memory and his cheeks redden even more than they already have.

“Leave me alone,” he gripes childishly, though his tone clearly indicates that he isn’t genuinely upset about it. “I didn’t know what to do and I panicked.”

You laugh at his embarrassment, the joy of teasing him truly never getting old. “I just can’t believe how fast this happened.”

He scoffs in disbelief. “How fast? Baby, this didn’t take 24 hours to happen, this took 24 years.”

He has a point, but a different part of his statement occupies your attention.

“Call me that again.”

“What? Baby?”

“Mm hmm.”

He grins mischievously to himself. “You like that, baby?”

You nod and timidly burrow further into his chest as he snickers and pets your hair lovingly. You wish you could just stay like this forever, frozen in time with his arms around you and your skin pressed flush against his.

“You know we’re going to be the talk of the town now, right?” he sighs.

“I don’t know. We might be beat out by the possible library haunting. Sounded pretty serious if you ask me.” His chest vibrates as he laughs, the sound like music to your ears.

A comfortable silence settles between you, a stark contrast to the awkward tension that clouded your interaction just yesterday. Although it technically took 24 years in total to get together, the process of falling back into Hongjoong after being away was undoubtedly rapid and passionate. It seems wild how much your life has changed for the better and how much happier you already are after spending so little time here. And, even though things in your life are more unsettled and unsure than ever before, you somehow feel the most at peace and comforted that you ever have, but apparently that is what coming home will do to you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Taglist: @minkysmilk @annaflwrs @han8ul @whatudowhennooneseesyou @aishidaishi