#this was basically a conversation I had with my bestie lmao

[simpjaes]

CUNNILINGUIST ― s.jy (ft. p.sh)

Unfortunately for you, no man has ever given you some good head. Fortunately for you, your best friend is more annoyed by it than you are. It’s just a favor, right? or the one where your best friend jake eats you out as a way to admit his own feelings for you, also, apparently sunghoon existing is an issue.

minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog to give bestie jake conflicting feelings

WORDCOUNT― 16.1 k

PAIRING― jake x afab reader (ft. sunghoon)

CONTENT― a lot of waiting, like to the point it even annoyed me, very fluffy stuff , typical best friends to fuck buddies to “actually, I had feelings this whole time”, jealousy, jake is whiny and needy when he’s horny, reader thinks it’s cute. angst if you’re a baby about it

OTHER CHARACTERS― sunghoon as the mutual friend who bangs reader

NOTE― this was originally written by me on my other blog [@/ncteez], if you’ve read it before, that’s why!

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― BIG DICKED BESTIE, pussy eating (he gets IN THERE), masturbation in the form of dry humping a mattress and then into his hand, finger fucking, cum eating, sunghoon hook up, morning sex, lazy fingering, lazy fuck, dirty talk , unprotected sex, awkward build up,raw grinding, no blowjob in sight sorry lmao, deep penetration, cream pie, kind of cum stuffing but like not entirely intentional, cheesy love stuff 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“What? Again?” Jake says, leaning back against the couch with a groan and a smack to his own forehead.

“Yeah, so basically he went down on me for less than a minute but expected me to, like, go long enough to ‘swallow’ or whatever.” You continue the story in a frustrated huff, shaking your head in self-pity.

Jake groans louder, leaning himself forward again and swiping his drink from your coffee table to take a long and thoughtful sip. 

“How many times is that, then?” He says between sips, glancing around the room as if he’s in deep thought. “I can’t help but think you pick these kinds of guys on purpose at this point.”

You look at him in mock pain, grabbing his drink and taking your own thoughtful sip of it.

“I dunno, they always talk big game during phone sex and stuff. I figure eventually one of them will live up to it.” You drone on, internally marking your recent date’s name off of your call-back list. 

“Be honest with me, have you ever actually gotten good head? Like how would you know if they’re bad if you have nothing good to compare them to?” Jake asks, letting you mindlessly drink his beverage.

It’s not weird to be having these types of conversations with him, if at all, something would seem off if you didn’t. He’s the only person in your life that you’ve ever felt this close to. At this point, you think he’d have to chase you down with a bloody hatchet for things to be awkward. Which is…kind of interesting, you guess.

“Well, I mean,” You think for a moment too long for his liking, but he gives you the space to finish your answer. “It feels good and all but it’s not like I’ve ever gotten off by it.”

“Correction –” Jake starts, blinking right at you. “You’ve never been given the chance to get off on it.” His bright  smile shows through his words, and you’re sure he’s mocking you at this point.

“Yeah, yeah. Yada, yada. I have terrible taste in sexual partners but to be fair, it’s not like the pool is that big to choose from.”

He nods in agreement, humming as if to end the conversation and still watching you sip at his drink.

“Would you be opposed to–” He pauses, making eye contact with you. “Y’know, I could do it for you.”

You pause, nearly dropping his drink out of your hand but thankfully your grip actually tightens on it instead. You swallow as you look at him, searching his face to see if this is some kind of joke.

“Jae-fucking-yun,” You deadpan, sitting his cup back down on your coffee table and leaning toward him, staring him down. “You’d really do that, for me?”

You bat your eyelashes at him, mostly playing it off as a half-joke just to see if he’s fucking with you or not. 

“How else are you gonna experience it?” 

You stare him down harder.

“You say that like you’re some sort of pussy-eating-god,” You narrow your eyes. “Are you?”

He shrugs casually with his little smile, leaning back on your couch and stretching his arms out. One of his hands lands behind your shoulder and you lean into it. 

“I’d let you be the judge of that if you’re up for it.”

Finally, you decide that he’s definitely not joking and you’re definitely gonna do it because like, that’s your best friend. Experiencing your firsts with him comes almost as naturally as walking. You had your first kiss with him, albeit it was a dare. You experienced your first concert with him, your first break up, your first failed exam, and even your first legal drink in a club. What’s so bad about letting him eat you out?

“Right now?” You ask, quirking your brow and tilting your head.

“Now, tomorrow, next week. Whenever.” He runs his hands through his hair as he says it and only now are you starting to really tune into his features that you’ve already found handsome.

Day after day you’ve seen him on this couch and in other states of dress without really thinking twice about how his lips would feel on you (despite that short first kiss). You’ve seen him kissing all up on other people, you’ve seen him in the club with wet lips from alcohol, you’ve seen him all messy and eating spaghetti at his parent’s house– but for some reason, his lips seem different now. His sleepy eyes seem different, his messy hair seems like something that should be tugged on, his fucking jawline– 

“Why’re you staring at me like that?” He looks at you up and down as if he’s judging. “You wanna go right now?”

You nod slowly, letting the traces of any lusty thoughts you’ve had about him in your life come to the front in waves. Then you quickly shake your head.

“Wait, no,” You roll your eyes more at yourself than him. “I haven’t showered since my date, maybe I should, uh…”

“Uh – yeah. Please do.” He grimaces, that same dopey smile coming back after a moment. 

“Fair.” You roll your eyes. “Gonna go shower then.” 

Part of you wonders if like, he’s being totally legit. For all you know, you’ll get out of the shower and he’ll be too busy doing something else, or like, he’ll go home or something. No hurt in seeing though.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

In the bathroom, you can’t help the feeling in your chest at even the thought that this may be about to happen.

Excitement. That’s what you feel. Not because it’s Jake. Well, maybe a little bit because you wanna see what his tongue is all about but more so because you’re about to get some presumably good head.

You shower thoughtfully, cleaning every part of your body and feeling little goosebumps rise and fall with each sensation of your air conditioning snaking its way past your shower doors. When you get out, you lotion your body so you’re all nice and soft and brush your teeth just in case things go a little further. You’re not expecting it to, but y’know, nothing wrong with having fun if it comes to it. 

After all, he’s doing you a favor by going down on you, the least you can do is smell good, be soft, and totally prepared for if he were to suggest more, right? Right. Anyway, you’re all showered up and opt to just let your hair do its own thing as you throw on your shirt and shorts. You ignore the panties at this point, because why not?

When you get back to the living room, Jake isn’t there. Naturally, you check your bedroom and there he is, still his normal self and lounging against your headboard while flipping through videos on his phone. 

“And she’s back,” he comments, reaching a hand out as if to invite you to your own bed. “Change your mind yet?”

“Not even for a second,” you smile as you take a spot in front of him, your entire body facing him as you pull your knees up and lay your chin against your arms. “Have you?”

He seems to fall into a more serious tone now, locking his phone before tossing it to the side and flicking his eyes up to look at you, scanning your legs in the shorts. 

“No,” he chokes back, shocked to see straight between the gap of your shorts and actually lay eyes on the point of this whole situation for the first time. “And you’re not wearing anything under those shorts.”

You watch his face and the way it turns from your best friend into something you’ve seen time and time again from men you’ve gone home with. It’s sexy on him though, for some reason.

“Figured I’d save you the trouble?”

He smiles, now moving himself toward you and reaching a hand behind to cradle your head. 

“Lay back,” he says softly, in a voice you’ve only heard a few times from him, “you could have left the shorts off too though.” He adds with an even softer laugh.

For some reason, it makes you feel shy. His hand guiding you to lay back all while grabbing the pillow from behind him and placing it under your head so that you’re nice and comfortable.  You watch him look at you and honestly, it’s in a way you can’t remember him ever looking at you before. If this is how he looks at other women, you may be a little jealous. 

It feels more intense right now than you thought it would.

“You’re being weird.” You say offhandedly, looking away from him and trying to keep the heat from flushing to your cheeks. 

“You’re letting me eat you out, how am I being weird?” He leans up from you, putting two hands on your knees but still waiting for your eyes to meet his again. “You want me to act like the other dudes? Dip my tongue in then wrap it up?”

You groan, rolling your eyes back to him and analyzing the way his big hands drape over your knees. 

“Okay, fair.” You admit defeat, feeling his warm palms move down the back of your thighs and to your ass. 

“Lift up,” He says, quickly pulling the shorts off of you when you do as he asks. 

“Oh–” He gasps quietly. “Damn.”

He stares directly between your legs, bracing his hands back at your knees and spreading your legs a bit. He angles his head in different ways to really look at you, seemingly enamored with your pussy as a whole. 

“Look who’s staring now.” You chuckle, instinctively hiding your face from him despite knowing he isn’t looking up at you.

“Yeah– I am,” he admits, now adjusting himself on the bed to lay down, his head easily slotting between your legs as he rests his chin on your lower belly and looks up at you. “You can pull my hair or do whatever, I’m just gonna…like, start I guess. Tell me if it’s something you don’t like.”

As normal as this isn’t, he’s speaking similar to how the two of you had taken on projects before. He typically takes the lead but offers you control more often than not. All you can do is nod at him, trying to comprehend that it’s your best friend’s head between your legs right now.

When he pulls his head back up with one last nod of confirmation, the first thing you feel is his fingers slipping up your folds, the other braced on your thigh and holding your legs open. You release a short sigh of relief at the feeling and he instantly smirks at it. 

“I haven’t even started yet,” He whispers, glancing up at you before fixing his eyes back on the expanse of your pussy. He uses his ring and pointer finger to spread your lips open, and the middle finger to rub against your hole only for a brief moment before he licks his lips and releases his own sigh of relief. “God, Sunghoon would be so jealous right now.”

You look down at him, wanting to ask him what the fuck he’s talking about and why he’d bring up Sunghoon right now, but you find yourself staring at him instead. Breath caught in your throat with the way his eyes meet yours before letting his tongue hang from his mouth as if presenting it to you in a cheeky way.

He’s so fast with it too, with the way he replaces his middle finger with his tensed tongue, forcing you to swallow your words and hold your breath even more. You can feel him lick and nibble against each of your lips before moving inward, flattening his tongue to lick one long, languid, and wet stripe up until meeting your clit. 

He wraps his lips around it, sucking once, hard, before releasing it and pulling back to look at you.

“This okay?”

Goddamn him for making you have to talk right now. You’re still trying to comprehend the fact that he said Sunghoon, fucking Sunghoon of all people would be jealous that he’s doing this right now. That’s definitely a question for later, because yeah, it’s fucking okay. 

More than okay. 

You nod to him, throwing your arm over your eyes and instinctively bucking your hips up towards his hovering mouth. 

“Oh, that was hot,” He groans out his compliment, watching the way you hide your face before he pulls his eyes back down and uses his fingers to spread your pussy open wider, enough to see your hole pulsate when he dips down to blow against it, “I can see how wet you’re getting, Is it because of me or is it just because someone is playing with your pussy?”

You half groan half moan at that, mostly because hearing these words from him is something that feels entirely too sexual. As if he hasn’t already tasted you, as if you’re not spread out by his fingers right now. You ignore his words, yet, your brain holds onto them with white knuckles and your hips buck toward him again.

“Not a talker, got it.” He notes, watching your hips chase his breath. 

He watches for much longer than you’d like for him to, and you’re about to lift up and accuse him of being just like the other guys but he shuts your thoughts off so fucking fast when you feel his lips on you again. 

His tongue explores every part of you, licking and sucking against areas you didn’t even know would feel good until his mouth lands against your clit again. This time, you can’t help it, you grind up and he hums at it as he braces your legs open just enough to skew his head and move his tongue back down. 

He’s slurping. Lost in the moment as he does it. Tasting you in full and getting a warm, pleasant feeling each time your legs try to close and your hips buck up for more. He…can’t believe this is finally happening. Fucking finally.

Unsure if you’d let him, he tries anyway. He stiffens his tongue, circling your hole before pressing just a bit, giving you just enough pressure that you feel frustrated. So frustrated that you’re the one who ends up finishing his attempt at something new. You reach down and lace your fingers in his hair, and let out a soft, needy little moan for him. 

That sound forces one from his chest too, he can’t help it, really. With the way you’re grabbing his hair and holding his head in place, pressing yourself against his mouth so much harder than before. Ah, he really, really loves doing this for you. 

To think any man would already be done? To think anyone could like, not wanna eat you out? Insanity. Stupid, stupid fucking men.

He can taste how wet you are now, truly taste it as he stretches your hole as much as he can with his tongue and another groan of his own. It’s probably embarrassing, truly, but he doesn’t care. 

Both of you are moaning at this point as you hold his head in place and grind your hips harder than you think you are. He loves it, you love it. So much that you really are barely comprehending that your best friend could do this the whole time?! And never told you until now?!

Jake is just as drunk on the moment as you are though. Totally lost in the scent and taste of you as he continues to lap away, constantly trying to prove that you can and will get off from his mouth alone. And honestly? It’s at the point that he figures he can use his fingers now too considering you let him spread you open with his tongue. What’s a little more gonna hurt, anyway?

The taste of you alone has him in heaven, cursing any man who didn’t take advantage of your pussy against their mouth. He can easily slip a finger into a hole this wet and needy, gasping in awe before glancing up at you. 

God, the way you immediately ride his finger, no huff or sound of irritation that he’s pulled his tongue back now. Your face. Fuck. 

He watches as you shamelessly chase the small amount of pleasure he can offer in terms of just head and fingering. He can imagine how hot you’d be without that shirt on, with your legs around his hips, with your mouth wrapped around him. You look blissed out, soaking his finger and keeping your hand in his hair, mindlessly grabbing and scratching at him. 

Making quick work, he goes back for your clit, circling his tongue around the bundle of nerves and noticing how you ride his finger harder. He can’t help but smirk against you when you do it either. 

The movement of your hips constantly humping against him is enough, and he can’t help but groan at the sound of your slick squelching out of you and warming his chin, he can’t fucking help but grind his own hips forward when you act like this. His cock is so painfully hard for you right now, at the taste of you, that all he can do is chase the mattress beneath him. Tensing his muscles and moaning against your clit shamelessly at the jolts of pleasure he gets from it. 

He slips another finger in with ease, feeling how much wetter you’ve gotten in the way the slide is filthy and audible. You groan out at that too, feeling his tongue flick relentlessly against your clit and only now moving your free hand from your face and trailing to your stomach. 

You can’t even talk, so you don’t. You lift your shirt up until you can at least rub against your nipples, just to heighten the pleasure your best friend is so graciously giving you.

His eyes roll back when you do that, only to fall back on you and get a frustrated grunt from him. He’s a bit annoyed that the shirt is still covering you despite your hand under it, fondling yourself. He’s thinking with his cock, so fucking aroused that he doesn’t think twice when he aggressively lifts your shirt up to your chin and watches the way your fingers poke and prod at yourself.

He inhales a sharp breath at the image, and his hips fuck harder against the mattress at that. His fingers speed up and now he’s focused. You feel him all over you from the waist down, his tongue flicking and lips sucking against your swollen clit, his fingers relentlessly fucking into you, your fingers heightening those sensations by playing with your own tits– then, oh, then you notice. 

Jake, you’re best fucking friend, is so goddamn horny that he’s dry humping against your bed and whining out moans against your clit. Probably to avoid asking for more, to avoid making you feel obligated to get him off too, to avoid anything you may not want or consent to. And that’s why he’s your best friend.

It doesn’t take long after that, your hips come to a stop as you watch him get himself off all while getting you off, and you find your orgasm bubbling up much faster than if you’d have imagined solely because of the image in front of you.

“Jake, you’re fucking whining.” You groan almost as needy as he does, rolling your hips up in a stutter. 

He was almost gonna stop, because yeah, he is whining. Gasping for air but only tasting you, only swallowing up the moans you give to him, only inhaling the dull scent of the fruity soap you used when you showered. But, you moan louder after you say that. You like it. You like seeing him act so desperate. So he continues, shamefully reaching one of his hands between himself and the bed and quickly shoving it down his pants, circling around his cock and continuing to fuck into it. 

If he thinks hard enough, you’re what he’s fucking right now, and technically, he is. With his fingers and mouth at least. When your hips stutter more, he fucks harder against his hand and holds his fingers inside of you as deep as he can get them. There, he sucks against your clit until you’re the one whining louder. 

You’re shocked at how quickly you’re getting off. Releasing a splash against him in a breathy, choked up sob. Nearly squeezing his head between your thighs to the point he almost misses the way you breathe out strings of praises toward him. But he hears them. 

He definitely heard you say that he looks sexy with your hand in his hair, and god, did he ride off of the fact that you encouraged him to get off with you. Regardless of if you knew if he could or not, regardless of if you knew his hand was providing just enough pleasure for him to do just that. 

There, as your orgasm subsides with his tongue still flicking your sensitive clit, you watch him writhe his hips against your mattress, his eyes slammed shut, and his breath coming out in pornographic moans. So this is what Jake looks like when he cums. It’s desperate, but somehow, it feels passionate too.

You’re all dazed after the fact, pussy pulsing and tingling from the loss of his lips and fingers once he pulls back and lays against your bed with a lazy smile. His pants are uncomfortable, but he doesn’t mind as he wipes his hand across his shirt and watches the way you catch your breath. 

“So,” He tries to say, clearing his throat. “I– um– hope that’s what you needed?”

You’re shy. You’re never fucking shy, especially towards Jake, but god. 

“Um, yeah,” you sigh out, lifting from the bed and looking back at him. Part of you wondering if that’s what it’s supposed to be like when someone gives you good head, or if that’s just…what it’s like when Jake gives head.

For some reason, you genuinely don’t think another man would ever eat you out to that level again. There’s no way, based on experience. 

“It was definitely what I needed.” 

He nods in a shy way, reminding himself that his pants are fucking nasty right now. So, he goes to stand up and extends a hand out to you. 

“Let’s go clean up.” 

You shake your head, not at all wanting to move from this bed. He nods again, pulling your shirt back down for you and leaning to look at you. 

“I’m gonna bring you something to clean up with, and I’m gonna shower.”

You smile at him, a bit dazed as you make yourself comfortable on your messy sheets as you think hard about the fact that this dopey motherfucker really never told you how good he was at this? Rude.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jake looks all proud of himself when he comes back to your room and cuddles into bed with you much like he always has. 

“I didn’t expect to sleep over, I have work in the morning.” He whispers in a rasp against your back, curling around you like the perfect big spoon. 

You’re quick to turn on his work alarm on your phone, like you always do when he crashes during weeknights. Because, what best friend doesn’t have alarms set for each other anyway?

After a few more long moments of silence, you try to talk. Mostly because your brain is swimming with the fact that, like, you’re not sure but it’s just– wow. 

“Hey, um–”

“Hmm?” He hums out in a sleep-heavy voice.

“Did you actually enjoy doing that?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.” His sudden louder voice causes you to jump, but you relax back into his gasp. 

“Oh,” You think hard. “Is this gonna change stuff between us?”

“Probably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.” He responds with mock-confidence, shifting a bit and hugging you closer to him, as if to hide the way he’s trying to make this sound like a joke. For his own comfort, really.

You smile.

“And don’t tell other dudes my secrets.” He adds.

“I won't.”

Jake has his own smile from behind you, wondering if he really is just that good at eating pussy. The truth is, he’s done it a handful of times but he was just really really interested in doing it for you. For…reasons.

・・・・・・THIS WAS ORIGINALLY TWO PARTS, NOW IT’S ONE. YOU’RE WELCOME・・・・・・

“Hey, um,”

“Hmm?” Jake hummed out in a sleep-heavy voice.

“Did you actually enjoy doing that for me?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.” He responded in a sudden, louder voice. 

“Oh,” You think hard. “Is this gonna change stuff between us?”

“Probably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.” 

You remember the conversation that happened after he went down on you like it was yesterday, and he’s a goddamn liar. Nothing changed in your friendship with him, and he certainly doesn’t ask to eat you out all the time either. If anything, you’ve felt disappointed time and time again with the aftermath of that night.

It’s weighing on you in a strange way. At first, the weeks following the first and apparently, only time Jake went down on you, you almost expected him to ask for a repeat. You wanted to return the favor. You wanted him to ask but he never did. Even when he came over to hang out, even when you tried to lay down hints.

Nothing changed.

In fact, he doesn’t even talk about it. He doesn’t look at you as if he’s tasted you, and he doesn’t act like he came in his palm against your bed, right in front of you. He’s just…Jake. Sweet, caring, aloof, Jake. And you’re just you. Except you want to be someone else at this point. Someone that he does feel differently around after that.

Maybe you weren’t a memorable event for him when it comes to intimacy. Maybe he prefers to pretend it never happened? Maybe he was really just doing you a favor and intending for it to never go past the initial act. Even with his sweet words after the fact. Maybe, that was just to reassure you so it wouldn’t be awkward. 

You’re a version of you who wants to know what the fuck he’s thinking about. Did it taste bad? Did he get cold feet about it all? Arguably, if things did get weird after what happened, you’d feel more comfortable than you do with the situation as it stands. 

It is weird now, but only because it’s not weird for him. 

Even now, as you lay across the same bed where he had his head nestled between your legs, you can almost feel the tingle of what it felt like. The way his hair tickled your thighs, and the way his fingers laid against the flesh of your legs. The sun is beaming in through your windows and it still doesn’t feel as warm as it did when he cuddled against you that night. It’s been weeks and your heart is sick for him by this point. Sick with confusion, angst, lust, maybe even love if you think hard enough. 

You miss him a lot more than before as you throw your hand up to your face in a gentle slap as if to knock yourself out of it. This is insane. Every day you wake up feeling this way, thinking of him, and where you stand with him. It wasn’t like this at first, you truly expected him to come back for more and now you’re just sitting here with a loop of reasons as to why he never did. 

Insane. You’ve gotten head from so many people and didn’t think twice about them the next day, Jake is different though. You knew he would be too.

Why is Jake any different? Why do you miss him so badly right now? Why couldn’t he pick up on it either? Even worse, why do you feel like doing that with him was a mistake?

He’s with his parents for the weekend, and you’re here still thinking about shit that should have been released with your orgasm. 

You haven’t gone on any dates since that day, you haven’t met up with any one other than him to hang out, and at this point you’re starting to feel a little pathetic for falling in so deep. It’s entirely one sided, he makes that very clear.

So, naturally, you hop up with the confidence of a damn lion and decide that today, it ends. You will stop making it weird between the two of you, if he has even noticed anyway. You’re gonna get dressed, look hot as fuck, and sit on your couch swiping left and right until you find a hot piece of man that’s willing to take you out tonight.

That’s when something dawns on you. You remember Jake briefly mentioning Sunghoon to you, which seemed more like an implication if anything at the time. 

Why would Sunghoon be jealous of what happened? You can admit to being attracted to him but it’s not like the two of you hang out often or anything, and it’s also kind of a rule for yourself that you don’t fuck within the friendgroup. Jake was an exception, solely because that’s your best friend. Or, well, was your best friend. 

Now though? Who cares about these little rules you create for yourself? You need a confidence boost. You need your mind to be taken off of this little spiral you keep falling into. Most of all, you need to be proven wrong that you can still get off without it being him. 

So, texting Sunghoon? Easy. 

Thankfully, Sunghoon texting you back at lightning speed seemed even easier for him. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Well, Sunghoon sure did a great job at getting your mind off of Jake for the past couple of hours. 

You lay here in his bed, feeling your body tingle from the sensation of just how well he lived up to the promise of a good time. For hours he touched you, licked against you, fucked you. And yeah, you did fucking enjoy it. 

But why now? Why did you only just decide to give Sunghoon a shot? Why are you lying in his bed, with his heavy arms thrown across you as he snores gently behind you, feeling the need to cry? Why do you wish it was Jake, your best friend who seemed so eager to please and then suddenly leaped ten feet back as if he never suggested it in the first place? 

Your brain is confused despite your body relaxing itself from the state of bliss you were able to experience. You really did enjoy this time with Sunghoon and think that maybe, if you continue to make late night visits to him, the need for your best friend will weaken in time. 

God, if only Jake would just talk about it.

And you fall asleep thinking about that. About how you’ve let your feelings weaken you to the point that it’s genuinely hard to enjoy being pleasured by someone who actually has the capability. 

And, well, you wake up much the same, except Sunghoon was quite quick with his fingers upon waking up himself. Showing you that even if the person you want doesn’t have a thing to do with you, he sure does. 

“Good morning,” He rasps in a sleepy voice, fingers already traveling down your stomach as he hugs up against you from behind. “Glad you finally came through for me.” 

You quirk a brow. Right, Jake is the whole reason you're here. If not for mentioning him, at least.

“I finally came through?” You chuckle, your body jolting at the ticklish sensation of his lips brushing the back of your neck. “You knew I was single, why didn’t you call me?” 

You feel a harsher kiss against your neck, and his fingers only travel further down now. 

“Bro code.” He whispers, dipping his fingers between your still naked thighs. “I’m not overstepping if you’re the one asking for it.” He slides his fingers gently back and forth between your legs, trying to work you up. “And you did.” 

You think hard about that. Bro code, overstepping limits, not coming onto someone unless they do first solely because someone must have asked him not to. And you’d think even harder about who that someone might be, but instead your brain is quickly thrown into the morning sex routine Sunghoon must offer to all of his lovers. 

You enjoy it too, the small moments of bliss where you’re not in your head about what you could have possibly done wrong with Jake for you to end up feeling this way. It’s a brief moment of numbness though, feeling his fingers pleasure you gently can only do so much to quiet your thoughts. 

“Are you saying one of your friends had dibs on me or something?” You laugh in a half-joke, arching your back to rub your ass up and against the bigger and warmer man behind you. 

“You could say that, I’m assuming he missed his chance though–” Sunghoon whispers snidely, now satisfied with how you already drip for him and sliding one of his fingers into you. His other hand, being used to hike one of your legs up and against his hip to open you up for him. “You wouldn’t be here doing this if he didn’t.” 

You clench around his finger unintentionally, pretending you don’t know who you’re both referring to. Mostly because there’s no way in hell it’s your best friend, seeing as how he’s acting like you don’t exist outside of platonic friendship with him. Then again, who else could it be? Jay? Heeseung? Fucking Jungwon? As fucking if. 

“I guess he did miss his chance–” You breathe, now allowing yourself to give into the lazy and slow pleasure being offered. “Deeper.” 

And he listens. Sunghoon goes deeper and deeper with one finger, then two, then three, up until you slip his fingers out of you and plead through your body to have more. Deeper still, holding you from behind, plunging in as if to intentionally fuck the confusion out of you. As if to, maybe, prove that Jake isn’t the only man who can please you now. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

When you eventually find yourself walking through your front door, you do feel better. Sunghoon did have some type of capability to make you feel as desired as Jake did. After all, it’s not often that you sleep over with a man, better yet get fucked again as soon as you wake up with him. 

Even so, you know Jake will be back tomorrow, wanting to hang out yet again as if nothing happened. Thankfully, with Sunghoon around, maybe you can pretend alongside him. Maybe even forget it ever happened. 

You can argue that for the first time, you’re even a bit annoyed when you see his name pop up in your notifications with a call as if you’re not right in the middle of texting Sunghoon. It’s not that you were trying to go back over to his house or anything, but man, he sure is trying to get you to come back for a third round already. 

Maybe you just like when people are eager to please you, or maybe you don’t like to feel as if you’re the one chasing another person. Still, you answer Jake, seemingly releasing all of this resentment you’ve built up for him in an instant. 

“What?” You huff into the phone, feeling it vibrate with another text from Sunghoon and wanting nothing more than to see what his fourth reason would be for you to come over not even two hours after you left. 

“What?” Jake responds in confusion  to you. “What do you mean ‘what’?” 

“I mean what do you want? I’m busy.” You huff again with a roll of your eyes, flopping back on your bed. 

“Oh god, something happened.” Jake groans, though he was simply calling you because he missed your voice. “What’s wrong?” 

“No, not really. Was just trying to figure out what I’m doing tonight when you rudely interrupted me.” 

Something is off, Jake can feel it. Your voice has a bite to it, one that feels like you’re mad at him. Not to mention, he knows what you mean when you say you’re trying to find something to do for the night. He tries to reserve his feelings though, despite wanting that something to be him. 

“Oh, I know there’s an event at one of the clubs downtown tonight I think. Jay mentioned it–” He pauses briefly to hear another annoyed breath from you. “You’re not gonna go with him?” 

“Nah,” You wave off dismissively. “I think I’m just gonna go hang out with Sunghoon.” 

You don’t notice at all the brief and panicked silence for a solid second and a half before Jake reacts.

“Wait, what?” He says quickly after managing to process those words, trying not to sound as panicked as he knows he feels. “Sunghoon? Why?!” 

God, he knew he shouldn’t have said anything about Sunghoon that day, but his confidence was overflowing and he couldn’t help but boast at the time. It’s come back to shoot him in the dick, knowing full well that Sunghoon has been trying to get you into bed since he fucking met you. Hearing you ask for him in this context is something that makes his blood run cold. 

“Relax, I was with him last night. It’s kind of like, maybe gonna be a normal thing now.” 

You refuse to pick up on Jake’s tone. He had all the time in the world to make you feel something other than confusion, and this is just fucking petty at this point. He clearly doesn’t want to have anything with you, so why in the hell should you just sit around hoping? Waiting? 

“Sunghoon? You want to fuck Sunghoon?” He asks in a lower tone, trying to convince himself that he has to be mishearing you. You can hear him shuffle around and close a door behind him, showing that he doesn’t want his parents to hear him. But the frustration showing blatantly in his voice is somehow…satisfying. 

“I already did. I figured he would show me a good time since no one else can, and he did.” You shrug with slight disobedience. Resentment bubbling up in your gut to the extent that you almost want to grill him for having any type of opinion about it. 

Jake hangs on those words for a second. “Since no one else can.” 

He really thought he was the one who could do it for you. 

“Yeah, but–”  Jake starts, feeling like a child almost in the way he protests despite not being in a position to have a say in who you sleep with. “You know what? Nevermind. Do what you want.” He adds blankly, hanging up before you can get another word in. 

Honestly, he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong because you acted like he was fully capable of doing everything right. Hanging out with him consistently after the fact, not making it weird, flirting with him, asking him to sleep over. 

He wasn’t sure if he should ask you for more or if he should ask you to be his girlfriend first. The whole reason he’s with his parents right now is because he felt the need to run home to his Mom for girl advice. Embarrassing? Yes, but he really wanted to do things right. He cares about you. 

He needed just one single weekend away, and the second he’s gone you’re out fucking other dudes? Fucking Sunghoon? 

By now, that asshole is probably feeling like he’s on top of the world for getting to touch you. Not even he has done what Sunghoon managed to do with you by now and he can’t help but feel pissed about it. 

Whether you’re his or not, Sunghoon never should have been a fucking option. 

So, he calls you right back, pushing back the feeling of how pathetic it seems considering he’s the one who hung up on you. Then, when you don’t pick up, he immediately feels his stomach drop. 

You must be talking to Sunghoon, you must be setting up a time and place to meet with him. And Jake has heard that Sunghoon knows how to fuck. Other people have said he’s good in bed. Surely, if you’ve already been with him once and you’re still wanting to go back to him, those other people weren’t lying. 

To Jake, it feels like he’s losing you to his own friend with each passing second, and it’s weighing so heavy that spamming your phone with calls to interrupt whatever it is you’re doing right now feels like the right thing to do. In fact, it feels like it is the best thing in the world to do. 

He calls again. You don’t answer.

Again.

“What?!” You answer, annoyed. 

“Why would you even want Sunghoon?! Is he really that much better than I am?” He doesn’t think before he says it, because if he did, he wouldn’t have been able to say it at all. 

It’s his turn to experience that awkward silence because in all fairness, you don’t know how to respond to that. You feel annoyed now, you feel confused and quite frankly, blind sided. Since when did he care? 

“What’s that supposed to mean? You came onto me once and then never followed up.” You dead-pan at yourself in the mirror across your bedroom, speaking into the phone with a voice that seems scolding. “I don’t see why you’re mad that I’m hanging out with Sunghoon. We aren’t dating, Jake.”

“Since when? Who said I didn’t want to do it again?” Jake argues back in a whispered voice, showing you that he still can’t be as loud as he’d like to be. He chooses to ignore that last sentence though, pretending as if it doesn’t strike him in the center of the heart. 

“Nobody! That’s the thing, you haven’t said anything about it. Not that you want to, not that you don’t. You’re just being you and it’s driving me up a fucking wall.”

Pause.

“You’re mad because I didn’t make it weird?” It’s like his brain clicks. 

“Pretending it didn’t happen somehow makes it worse.” You lower your voice, ignoring the string of texts Sunghoon is sending you and listening closely to what Jake might say next. Your heart is racing through this hushed argument, and it feels good to admit that you kept thinking about it, even if he hasn’t.

“I wasn’t pretending that it didn’t happen,” He pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “I just wasn't sure what the next step was.”

You’re fucking appalled.

“Jake, I have been flirting with you since it happened because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’re the one who didn’t make any moves, so I figured you wanted it to end there.” You sigh loudly, but somehow feel a bit lighter. “Do you have any idea how that fucked with my confidence?”

Jake sighs along with you on the other end of the line. 

“That’s why I was annoyed earlier, and that’s why I’m going to Sunghoon’s tonight.”

“What?” Jake’s voice raises a bit higher. “Still?!” 

It’s the fact that he’s trying to explain himself. Had he known that you were confused by his lack of, um, touching you, he would have done it every day since it happened! Yet, you’re still considering Sunghoon an option? Knife to the heart, honestly. 

Or maybe he’s not being clear enough with you about this. 

You, on the other hand, nod your head as you hum a confirmation to him, smiling and wondering if this conversation will turn into an event that would, perhaps, have you cancel the hook-up with Sunghoon.

“Why? Are you jealous?” You pry.

“You really called him, and now I’m just sitting here in my old room trying to find a way to get to you before he does….again.” An inhale. “ Yes! I’m fucking jealous!” 

You remain silent, trying to pretend that your pettiness isn’t solely to confirm what he seems to be implying to you. Then, an unintentional chuckle leaves your lips. 

“Why are you laughing?!” His voice is raised again, and he doesn’t seem to stop spilling what he needs to say. “I wanted to do that for you for years and you somehow still didn’t know?” He pauses. “I always made it weird between us, what? You thought I treated all of my friends like that?”

You just listen, feeling your heart beat in time with each word he speaks. Strings of sentences like, “I’m going to kick his ass.” and “You thought I’d just eat you out as a friend?! You’re insane.” and “I would have come home last night if you wanted to feel good so badly, why did you have to go see him, of all people?” 

The confirmation of Jake being the friend who forbade Sunghoon from making a move on you is right there, clear as day. 

“Ah, so the Jake I know isn’t the Jake everyone else knows?” You respond, trying to force the tingling feeling in your gut to calm itself. Hearing him be so blatant to you has your heart doing flips, and it’s not an easy task to make it stop.

“Of-fucking-course not!” He rolls his eyes, you can definitely tell. “You had me wrapped around your pinky from day one.”

“And you really thought that, with the way you seemed so uninterested–” You pause, processing his words. “I would have asked you to come home from your parent’s house to get me off? For what? Funsies? You thought I'd be brave enough or selfish enough to ask such a thing?” 

Jake sighs deeply, seemingly fed up with the situation. 

“It wouldn’t be because you are selfish.” He breathes out, almost angrily. “And for the last time, I’m not uninterested. I was just trying to do things right. I don’t just want to fuck you, you know.” 

“And you didn’t think to tell me until weeks after you ate me out?” You smile harder, trying to contain the heat flushing over your cheeks. “Until after I thought I had a pH imbalance and maybe you were just grossed out by me?!” 

“I’m genuinely shocked you didn’t know already. Made me think you weren’t interested enough to like–” He pauses, not wanting to be too telling. “I guess waiting and being polite isn’t really your style. I should have known that though.”

You let him continue, because you can tell he’s simply taking breaths and small pauses to figure out how to express his thoughts to you. 

“You can’t tell me that over the years, you never once noticed how often I stared at you.” He lowers his voice again, softening it to an extent that you actually feel the butterflies fly from your belly to your chest. 

”The fact that I jumped in head first and offered to do that for you? I didn’t think I had to tell you at this point…”He breathes out a chuckle through the line this time. “And for the record, I couldn’t get enough of it. I was just trying to like– I don’t know.”

You listen to him breathe deeply, again. 

“I didn’t want you to think I was in it just for the sex, I guess.”

There. There it is. You’re nearly kicking your feet, feeling him confirm feelings and erase any hint of doubt within you. Despite never truly noticing that he treats you differently compared to his other friends, despite never thinking too hard about the way he looks at you. 

“You acted like it wasn’t a big deal, Jake. I’m not joking. If that’s how you act when you like someone, you shouldn’t blame me for not noticing.”

“I literally tongue fucked you.” He dead-pans. “Friends don’t just do that.”

“I thought we were friends who could do that.” You argue. “But I guess you’re not quite looking to just remain friends, are you?” 

“No,” Jake sighs. “Mom told me I needed to take you out on some extravagant date and express my undying love for you with a handful of red roses, but I guess this is just how it’s gonna be. After all, this is you.” 

“And this is you.” You confirm. 

“I was going to come home tomorrow and try to lie our way to the restaurant, which I still can, if you want. You kind of fucked up my plan though.” 

You pause at his words, suddenly feeling like shit for not realizing sooner. In your defense though, if he really did like you from day one, you didn’t exactly have a chance to see how he would have acted without feelings. The Jake you know is your best friend, and someone you trusted with everything, you thought he treated everyone as well as he treated you. That’s why, when he didn’t change, you couldn’t read him anymore. 

Then again, all of this could have been fucking avoided if he had just voiced it to you. 

“Romance is dead and it’s your fault.” Jake tries to joke, his soft tone somehow coming out even softer as he waits for some type of response from you. 

“So, are we done fighting?” You ask meekly, tapping your finger against your phone and looking up at the ceiling with a smile that by now, you can’t escape. “Since you’ve just expressed your undying love for me and I very much wouldn’t mind going on a date with you so we can work this out face to face?” 

“Are you still going to fuck Sunghoon?” 

You laugh. 

“Oh yeah, for sure–” To his silence, you immediately take it back. “Oh my god, relax. It’s a joke.” 

“Get better jokes, asshole.” 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“What the fuck?” Jake deadpans into the phone, his heart beating far too fast for his health, but vibing with it anyway because by tomorrow night, he’ll be next to you again. “You seriously had sex with her?!” 

“Hey, she’s the one who called me.” Sunghoon shrugs as he listens. “To be fair, Jake, I did tell her that someone else had dibs on her.”

Jake slaps his forehead and rolls his eyes. 

“You’re such a dick– I told you at least three hundred times that I like her! I don’t have dibs.” He gripes, trying to pretend that he’s not imagining Sunghoon with you, the person he wants the most. 

“Damn right you don’t, because she seemed to have a great t–” 

“Sunghoon, stop. I don’t want to know what happened, but like, stop texting her.” 

Sunghoon’s brow raises in curiosity. 

“Ah, did you finally make a move?”

If there’s anything Jake knows Sunghoon won’t do, it’s go for a woman that is actually unavailable. He has his fun, and he’s not one to turn anyone down if he has an interest in them, bro code be damned. And yeah, he’s still a little pissed at him for hooking up with you…but, it is true, Jake made you feel like he wasn’t even an option in his attempts to be a gentleman. 

Still, boundaries need to be set now. Real boundaries.

“I did, and I would really appreciate it if you back off. I’m trying to make something out of this, you know?”

Sunghoon lightens up, sighing at his loss of a would be fuck-buddy that seemed more promising than some he’s had in the past. 

“Jesus, you’re serious about her aren’t you?” He smirks as he speaks, feeling proud of Jake for finally stepping up for himself. “I mean, I can totally see why. Please excuse me as I mourn that sweet, sweet, pu-” 

“Sunghoon.” Jake warns. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Relax, jesus.” Sunghoon plays it cool, though he actually is mourning it a little bit. “Good on you though. I’ll back off, don’t worry.” 

Jake rolls his eyes yet again, his love-hate relationship with Sunghoon becoming more fond than ever by this point. Only because the confidence he had in himself before all of this wasn’t entirely where it needed to be. It’s true that he wasn’t exactly a pussy eating god before, nor could he even say he’s amazing at sex but, when it comes to you, he can’t help but be excited. He wants to do it all, be it all for you. 

Never in his life has he eaten pussy like that, and never in your life have you felt a mouth so eager to please between your legs. 

Sunghoon could have been something, but he couldn’t have been Jake, ever. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The day couldn’t go by any slower than it already has. 

Jake comes home tonight, and by home, you mean to your apartment where he doesn’t live. 

Your mind goes in loops on what could possibly happen. Scenarios of him getting cold feet and ignoring that any of this happened at all again. Scenes of him unlocking your door, closing in on you, and kissing you before you can even say “hello”. Images of his hands on you, his mouth on you, what it would feel like if he were to…well, oh.

You snap yourself out of it, every bad scenario in your head gets replaced with one where you’ve got Jake working himself on and inside of you. It’s making you feel hot, insane, and entirely too horny for the proposed date night full of talking that needs to be had first. 

Then you freeze, your hand on the handle of your mug as you wonder a bit too hard. 

What if he doesn’t show up at all? 

You did run off the second he left the city and fuck one of your mutual friends. Arguably, you were equally as bad at communicating with him as he was to you during the past few weeks. Sure, you flirted, but was that even enough when he literally put his tongue inside of you “as a friend”? 

God, he’d have every right to not show up. To move on, to never speak to you again. 

You’ve been so stupid. Both of you have, stumbling together but apart into something neither of you could even begin to navigate. For you? Sex is easy. Feelings though? That’s where it gets complicated. Yet, still, you find yourself more willing than ever to let these feelings roam free if he accepts them at face value. 

Solely because of how shitty it felt when you were trying to pretend that Jake was nothing but a one time thing for his sake. 

And when the time comes, after hours of brooding, getting worked up, and feeling insane, you’re looking like a mess when he knocks on your door. So much for looking good for him. You’re an absolute fucking wreck when you open that door and dead-pan stare at him and his bags. 

“Hi,” He smiles, not quite making eye contact because he really is kind of embarrassed by all of this. “I’m here.” 

You step back from the door, eyes remaining on him. 

“You’re here.” You say quietly, watching him step into your apartment and drop his bags. 

You feel his breath before you hear his voice. So much closer than just moments before, right up against your ear, and his arms wrapping tightly around you. 

“Felt like I was gone for too long–” He whines slightly against you, breathing in a breath and taking in your scent. “Didn’t know I could miss you like that.” 

You fucking melt. Out of all of those scenarios and fantasies in your head, this wasn’t one of them. Which goes to show that Jake is the one person in this world who can surprise you time and time again. You’ve hugged him like this hundreds of times, but this one, oh this one. He feels so close after feeling so fucking far away.

“You were gone for two days,” You smile, nuzzling against him and gripping his waist in your own hug. 

“Two days too long, though.” You feel him smile, that little upturn of his lips pushing his cheek up and against you as he chuckles and pulls back.  “We don’t have a lot of time, but we can still make it to the restaurant if you still want to go? I can shower when we get back.”

You pull back, offering him a small nod and feeling a bit let down. You wanted more, especially after that hug. The fact that he can contain himself right now feels isolating. Are you the only one who has a vibrating brain right now? He really wants to have the conversation at the restaurant? 

He really wants to do this the right way?

You look like shit, but arguably he might think he looks worse considering the long trip back to you. Still, the restaurant is the chosen option to have this conversation, and you’re ready to get it over with so that finally the two of you can take a step forward. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The restaurant is nice. There’s a buzz of conversations surrounding the two of you but most of it feels muffled because the only sound you can truly hear is Jake’s hushed and awkward attempts to get the ball rolling. 

“So, I guess that’s why I went to my parent’s house. It’s embarrassing, I know–” He says before you cut him off. 

“Tell me how you felt the past few weeks when we were together.” You say boldly, wanting so badly to have the confirmation that he really does want this, and that he suffered much like you did.

You watch a fan of rosy tint cross his cheeks as he breaks eye contact with you, looking to the table and then back up at you. 

“Okay, um–” He stiffens a bit, glancing around to make sure no one is looking or listening in. “When we weren’t together, it was a lot easier for me to think, but when we were together, I could only really think about one thing.” He admits, nodding to himself. 

You look at him curiously before you see his eyes light up in panic.

“No! No, no. Not like, sex…” He looks down. “I mean, yeah maybe sex too but mostly I just couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make you want me more than anyone else.” 

Your heart swells at his panicked save, and then the words that follow. 

“I think I already did want you more than anyone else.” You admit back to him. “Even if I didn’t know I had feelings until you did that to me– I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

He smiles, reaching over the table as if to ask for your hand. 

“What about you? What did you think about when we were together after that night?” He asks for his own confirmation now. 

“Sex. Mostly, I guess. I felt like no one else would ever be able to make me feel that good again.” You look away, feeling ashamed and seen. “Goddamn, I sound so dramatic.”

Jake snorts, laughing at how he should have expected this but the confidence boost is a happy surprise to him. 

“To be fair though, Jake, I think I had my feelings and my lust for you mixed up.” You continue. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I still feel both of those things every time I see you, or even think of you.”

“Feelings and lust?” He nods with a smile and wiggling his eyebrows, his eyes glistening in the warm lighting of the restaurant. 

You nod in confirmation, side eyeing the waitress who walks over to take down your order. 

Both of you are somehow dissociated outside of each other, there’s no way you’re not because you don’t recall what you ordered, nor what he ordered, and he appears to be feeling much the same. The moment she walks away, he’s continuing. 

“I was really that good, huh?” A smirk from him, and a nod from you. 

“What about right now then? How do you feel when you look at me?” He follows up, looking down at the table. 

“Both of those things.” You dead-pan, squeezing your legs together as you look at him and feel the warmth radiating from even this far away. The confirmation of feelings is enough by itself to have your thoughts in the gutter about him, especially after weeks of wanting him. 

Especially after having to be in this stupid fucking restaurant in the first place.

He quirks a brow before lowering his voice, his eyes drooping a bit. 

“Do you have any fucking idea how badly I’ve wanted to get my mouth on you?” 

God, there he is. That same bold best friend who originally suggested eating you out in the first place. Not entirely unfounded that he said it, but fuck, your cheeks are searing. 

“Jake, we’re in public.” You warn, knowing damn well that you’ve not been able to think of anything else either, but for the sake of the foundation of this relationship, you want to tame yourself a little bit.

“Since we started hanging out, every fucking time.” He continues, ignoring your warning. “I would get so mad when you’d go to your little hook-ups. Sometimes I even wondered if you did it intentionally to piss me off.” 

Your cheeks are still hot, but now there’s a bit of guilt filling you. 

“You really had no idea how badly I wanted that to be me?” He continues with his streak of confidence, unintentionally dirty talking to you solely because he, genuinely, cannot deny his attraction or his feelings for you by this point. “Even right now, I want nothing more than to have you to myself.”

You pause, the guilt leaving you in an instant as it’s fully replaced with Jake’s eagerness to have you in full, finally. 

“Why–” You sigh, dropping your head into your hands to hide your face from him. “Why are we at this restaurant again?” 

You feel his hand reach back over to you, removing your hands from your face and dipping down to look at you. 

“It’s so fucking hard to contain myself right now. I can admit that.” He whispers, blinking at you. “If you feel satisfied with where we stand, I’d be more than happy to leave this table now and prove everything to you.”

An instant nod from you, and an instant confirmation from Jake. 

You’re both out of the restaurant before a single sip of water, before a single visual inspection of the forgotten food the two of you ordered, and before any doubt could creep in to ruin the electrifying atmosphere you were indulging in with him. 

For Jake, his self control wavers with each passing moment as you sit next to him in the car. You look so calm as he drives as quickly and safely as possible back to your apartment, shaming himself for ever considering the two of you go in the first place. Still, the outcome is somehow more satisfying. Both of you wanting to leave just so you can truly be alone together? He couldn’t ask for a better night. 

Still, your calmness contrasts the way his insides vibrate the closer he gets to your place, and he wonders how the fuck you manage to do it. If you were to simply glance at him at the right moment, you’d see his entire body melt in the fantasies of what the two of you may be willing to do tonight. 

Years worth of pining in his head and heart are bubbling up now. You’re inviting him in, you’re accepting him, you’re wanting him back. 

What he doesn’t know though, is that you are quite literally imagining yourself wrapped in chains to this seat. Why? Because if it weren’t for those astral chains, you’d be on top of him in an instant, reassuring him that if there’s anything in the world you’ve wanted within the past few weeks, it’s him. You’d be apologizing for never taking note of his feelings before, and kissing away all of the moments he wished he could have had with you before, replacing them with very real, firm, hot kisses. 

Thankfully though, you manage to tame the beast from within and somehow, so does he. Up until you get through your apartment door and the electrifying atmosphere sizzles away in an instant. 

You expected to have the confidence to, quite literally, jump on him as soon as your door closed. Instead, you find yourself standing in awe at the entryway. 

Jake, on the other hand, would love nothing more than to have you right this moment, speeding and parking crooked be damned, he will not allow it just yet. 

“Listen,” He reaches out to you, pulling you up and against his chest. “I need to shower before I let myself do anything.” 

You breathe a sigh of relief, noting that the awkwardness came from the fact that Jake’s energy is seeping out of him, lust and worry for possibly not being as clean as he’d like to be for this. 

It feels strange, actually. You can imagine you’ve had many hook-ups with men who wouldn’t even consider a shower before inviting you over. 

“Hurry up then, before I decide to call Sungh-” 

“Don’t you fucking dare make that joke right now,” Jake squeezes you tighter against you, hating himself for constantly bringing up reasons to wait. 

“If we are going to like,” He pauses, struggling to say it out of pure nervousness that you might change your mind. “You know, be exclusive, Sunghoon’s name is forbidden.”

You chuckle against him before shoving him back in a playful way. 

“Deal. Now, can you fucking hurry?” You roll your eyes playfully, internally a little thankful for the short moments you will have to prepare yourself for this. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Damn this shower for feeling so good. Jake could fall asleep under the warmth if it weren’t for the fact that he’s been half-hard this entire time and truly fighting with himself on how to approach this situation.

It’s kind of awkward, actually. Knowing exactly what the two of you are about to do but having to wait even for fifteen minutes makes it seem like you both have a scheduled hook up and nothing more. 

It’s not a hook up though. Jake is finally where he’s always wanted to be with you, in your shower priming his body to go absolutely fucking insane on you. Before, when he ate you out, he really was controlling himself. He wanted to do more with you so bad, and now? God…

He’s flushed as he finally makes his way out of the shower, length still stiffening and softening with each thought that passes. He can barely look at himself in the mirror without wanting to laugh at how embarrassing he truly is. 

You’d probably laugh too, and he’d love the sound of it. 

Then, he’s faced with a dilemma. 

You, on the other hand, find yourself lying quietly in your bedroom after doing your best to fix the mess of yourself for whatever Jake may offer. Waiting for him, and ultimately wondering what the fuck is taking him so long when you finally hear the bathroom door open.

Faintly, you can smell your shampoo and body wash that he used as you hear him make his way to the living room and not find you. 

Then, you hear him making his way to your room. He doesn’t open the door any further than it already was and instead, stands behind it quietly before muttering out. 

“Um,” He starts, putting his hand on your door and only peeking his head in. “I wasn’t sure if there was a point to putting my clothes on–” 

Fucking pause.

God, he must sound so stupid saying that, especially after looking into your room and seeing you lying against your bed changed into the exact same pajamas you put on the night he initially made a move on you through the guise of friendship. 

Well, now it’s not even a question and he was right to assume that all he needed to do was wrap a towel around his waist and come to you. 

You watch his eyes travel your body curiously, a smile forming on his face.

“If you’re wondering if I put panties on this time too,” You smile, reaching a hand out as if to invite him to open that door and come have at it. “I didn’t.”

That’s all it takes, really, to have him pushing the door open and not-so-calmly making his way to your bed. 

Seeing his naked and damp chest is one thing, but smelling your scent all over him is another, especially when the first thing he does is practically envelop you with his body and plant his lips straight on your own. 

The first real kiss. Despite his lips having been on you before, you melt into it and find yourself forgetting how differently he’s acting now compared to before. He was so confident, so cocky, and now he’s almost docile. Meek. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” He leans back to whisper, adjusting his body so that he’s more comfortable and leaning down on one arm while the other holds your cheek. “Can’t believe you let me eat you out before ever letting me actually kiss you.”

Your face heats up at the comment, making you feel more scandalous than you ever truly tried to be. But he’s not wrong, and you regret making him feel like eating you out was the only way to get to your heart.

Strangely though, it was the way to your heart. Him doing that for you practically threw you into the deep end in search for more, from him, specifically. 

“Can’t believe you decided that you should just eat me out rather than admit your feelings for me.” You counter with a smile, lifting your head to kiss against him again and pretending you can’t feel the weight of his length under the loosely knotted towel on his waist. 

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” He says through the kisses, quickly losing the ability to speak when you lick against his bottom lip and, ultimately, take control of the act.

He wonders what your mouth could do to him. His entire body reacts to the way your tongue flicks and licks against his own, it takes everything in him to try and control himself from pushing too far too soon– until he realizes that there is no reason to control himself now. 

Never has making out gotten him this turned on, and it’s not a surprise because it’s you. 

He half moans, half chuckles into your kiss when he does it, pressing his hips down and against your thigh much like he did previously to the very mattress he’s got you lying against. 

“There’s so much I want to do,” He finally admits, pulling back from the kiss and hanging his head to feel how his cock reacts to the flesh of your thigh. “Please, let me do all of it.” 

You sigh, somehow feeling a pang of arousal radiate between your legs despite not yet being touched there. The weight of him on you is enough, and all you can do is nod and await the ways he intends to relieve himself with you.

Hours of head, he could give. Even more hours of burying his cock between those pretty lips and watching you return the favor for him. His confidence grows as your body moves under him, waiting, waiting, waiting for what he will do next. 

First, he plants another kiss to you, pressing his hips hard against your thigh with a breathy sigh before moving his lips down, against your neck. 

At the same time, his hands work their way up your loose shirt, cupping one breast in his palm and easily teasing your nipple with his fingers. He works his lips down the center of your clothed chest, down to your stomach, and then up again. His nose nudges your shirt up with each kiss, until his lips replace his fingers and he’s sucking your nipple into his mouth.

You’ve never felt so wanted in your life with the way he appears to be savoring you. Leaving his own pleasure neglected once again, his entire focus is on you. You arch your back up a bit, hands shooting to his head and cradling it there against your breast. 

He groans when you scratch against the nape of his neck, wiggling your hips under him and chasing the sensation that his mouth manages to send to your clit. He groans again when your nipple remains firm between his lips, and he begins to nibble. 

And this time, he moans when he manages to trail one of his hands down just to see how much it will take of this to get you wet. He tucks one hand under your shorts, only to find that you’re already dripping, soaking his fingers with a mere single slide up your folds.

“Fuck,” He sighs as if it’s a compliment when he pops his mouth off of you, flicking his head up to look at your already dazed eyes. “Already?” 

You glance away, embarrassed by how badly you want the man who was once your best friend, and is now….more than that. You can feel his fingers graze and gently play around with the heat your body has already released for him, rolling your eyes back each time he pretends he’s going to offer pressure to your clit. 

He’s fucking teasing you, and you know it.

He knows it too, because of fucking course he is. After years of torture, wondering if you’d ever manage to get wet at all with the thought of him, here you are, dripping under him when all he’s done is kiss you and fondle your nipples. 

Briefly, he remembers how needy your hips were when his tongue was seeping into you. He remembers the taste of each thrust you pressed against his face, and the smell of how badly you needed him at the time. 

As used as he was by you that night, he wants nothing more now than to pull those same desperate moans from you, to taste the wet inside of you that no man ever managed to release for you. 

“I feel like I’m going insane,” He finally breathes out, still toying with your folds and keeping an eye on the way your eyes glare back at him. “I want you so fucking bad–” He stutters now, instantly sliding his fingers into you and scooting down on the bed at lightening speed, pressing your loose shorts to the side just to get the taste of you against his lips again.

Your legs instantly shoot over his shoulders, and one of his hands reaches up to hug your thigh against him as his tongue immediately laps at every dip and crease of your cunt. His eyes nearly roll back at being able to experience this again, his fingers holding firm without a single movement just so he can feel your body confirm that you want him just as much. 

The clench around his fingers are enough, and he licks around them only for a moment before returning his lips to your clit and giving you all he’s got. 

All he can feel is your legs tightening around his head, nearly lifting your ass up and off of the bed, all he can hear is his own moans vibrating through him each time he hears you react. 

Arguably, even after that brief moment of teasing from him, feeling his mouth so eager, much like before, sent you straight into a blissed state and made you forget about the restaurant, the shower, the weeks of pining before this. His mouth is so warm, and his vibrating moans sooth your clit through its desperate attempts to beg for more. 

You can’t help the fact that your legs hug his head, or the way your hands shoot down much like before, scratching through his hair before dropping down and spreading yourself open with two fingers solely to expose your clit in full to the assault of his tongue he’s giving you. 

He missed you so much, he missed this so much. Never again will he leave you wondering, from this point forward, you should be well aware that if you so much as pushed him to his knees and lifted a leg over his shoulder, he’d be eating like a fucking king. 

Still, even with his immense love for kissing your pussy until your legs shake, there’s more to be experienced here than just this. His pace slows with the reality of that, and only now does he move his fingers with intent, and he pulls back to see how you’re spreading yourself for him, even as your legs fall from his shoulders.

“Fuck.” He rasps, lips glistening with a mixture of his own saliva and your slick. 

You lend him a drunken smile, nodding slowly as you focus in on the way his fingers scissor you open. Within a blink though, his face is right there hovering above you, staring intently at the way you react to his fingers. 

“You look so good right now, you know that?” He compliments, leaning down again to plant a kiss against you, only pumping his fingers in faster when your kiss appears to be more hungry than his own. “God, I can feel you squeeze my fingers–” 

And it’s true, he’s seeing stars solely because he can feel the clench of your pussy walls pushing his two fingers together, almost pushing against his attempts to scissor you open and curl them into the spot inside he knows you have. He can only imagine how good that would feel if he were to…

His eyes squeeze shut in a drawn out moan at the thought, his own kiss growing more hungry as he releases the towel from his waist and quickens the pace of his fingers inside of you. 

You can feel him press his cock against you, and the weight of it only becomes heavier when his fingers pause inside of you just so he can slip them out and use those same slick-coated digits to hold his length down and against you before he slides it between your lips. Now coating himself in the same wet sensation. 

You listen closely to his moan, knowing that he seems fond of neglecting his own pleasure to the point of doing near-embarrassing things to get it back when he needs it the most. It’s strangled, almost. You can hear him swallow around it when he slides up harshly, bumping your clit and causing your shorts to stretch against the crease of your thigh. 

He seems so…desperate. Yet, he can have anything he wants. 

“Keep it spread open–” He mutters when he feels you try to remove the hand that had been holding your pussy out on display for him. “I want to feel all of it.”

God, you’ve never heard him say something so sexy. Easily you do as he says, now using both hands to hold either side of your pussy open for him, and feeling the underside of his length slide against your hole. 

You let out a pleased sigh, despite your shorts becoming a nuisance at this point. It’s easy to forget you’re still wearing them though, because they only become drenched more and more as the moments pass with Jake.

You can genuinely just assume that his cock must be aching as he does this, leaking all over you. That’s something you don’t mind at all, because the stimulation is far beyond what you could ever ask for. 

“Jake–” You try to speak, only to be cut off by his hand sliding under your head and his lips attaching yet again to you.

There, you can’t help it when you remove your hands and shoot them up to his face. Holding him there, feeling the way his jaw moves when he licks into your mouth in a desperate attempt to get as much of you as he can in this moment. 

His hips fuck forward much like they did into his palm all those weeks ago, and the anticipation of if or when he finally plunges it into you drives you to kiss him just as hard as he does you.

There is nothing but the sound of kissing in the room save for muffled moans from both of you, entirely tangled up together as he does nothing more than grind himself against you. His hand cradling your head and the other still pressing his length down and against you as close as he can manage. Yours, cupping his cheeks as he kisses you, up until you run one hand down to take over for him.

In that moment, with his free and now shaking hand, he pulls back entirely and just looks at you.

He’s out of it, entirely gone from this world as he stares down with his hair drying by the minute from that shower, messy as all hell with darkened hooded eyes. He continues to stare, each thrust against you becoming pointed to the extent that it almost feels like he’s already fucked you for hours. 

And then, you feel it. The weight lifting, your shorts being stretched until they’re sliding down your thighs and off of you, and then the warmth as he adjusts his hips just barely enough to line up with your quivering hole, practically begging for him to stretch you out for the first time. 

His eyes falter only for a moment when he realizes that this is a moment he will never forget. The way you look up at him with glassy and needy eyes, out of breath, seemingly loving him as much as he’s always loved you. 

“Yeah?” He whispers, not breaking eye contact even for a moment. 

“Please.” You mutter out, not fully intending for it to sound so broken.

And as broken as your voice was in that instance, he grows much weaker by it. Dropping his head with a deep sigh, a smile, and then a chuckle.

“You really, really, can’t look at me like that and expect me to be gentle…” He pauses to look at you again. “For your sake, please tell me to slow down.”

You can barely comprehend a word he’s saying when you can feel the head of his cock teasing where you need it the most. 

“Please.” You rasp out again, wrapping your legs around his waist and forcing his body forward, ultimately sliding the tip of his length into you yourself. 

“Oh, fuck–” He chokes out before sucking in a breath and letting out a moan at the feeling. His body jerks at the sensation, the sound of your voice, the way you pulse around him. “Fuck, so good.” He continues to mutter, controlling himself for only a few seconds longer just to see if you have the ability to understand that he truly and honestly will not have the ability to go easy on you at this point. 

“Deeper.” You plead, squeezing your legs tighter around him, uncaring of his attempt to control the situation. 

That’s all it takes. Your broken voice already had him shaking, and now he’s giving up any and all control that he could have possibly hoped to have. 

Right there, with your legs hugging his waist, your hands gripping the pillow behind your head, and his hands finding purchase on either side of your shoulders, he sinks himself into you as deep as he can go and feels as if the life is being choked out of him over how fucking good it feels. 

He throws his head back in an erotic and attractive moan of relief, allowing you a glimpse at the expanse of his stretched neck, naked of any marked territory. Still, your vision goes white when the stretch hits you.

So big, so strong on top of you. You can imagine he really could fuck you hard, you hope he doesn’t go gentle on you at all, actually

“Shit, please,” You moan brokenly again, releasing your pillow and gripping his forearms. “Jake, god–” You have no words to describe how good he feels inside of you, you couldn’t begin to fathom trying to explain to him how perfect he is. 

It feels deep, deeper than you ever could have imagined. His length alone should have been enough to tell you that, but you hadn’t yet factored in the girth of it. So heavy inside of you, touching each soft and sensitive surface your pussy has to offer. 

Your body jolts in adjustment, knocking the breath out of you despite him not moving just yet. 

“Shh–” He soothes, not at all actually wanting to hush your cries for him. In fact, he’s simply saying it because he could quite literally release at any moment if you continue to speak and clench him like this. And when he finally looks down at you, he can’t fucking help it.

His hips move at their own volition, and he was right in believing there is no gentle fuck to be had here. He slides out only slightly, with the intent to fuck you as full of him as he can. He wants to stay deep, because you asked, and he wants to keep you feeling stretched around him because he can truly never get over the way you look and sound right now. 

You shake at the feeling of him pressing impossibly deeper into you, keeping his hips flush against you before snapping his hips back more now. A slightly empty feeling inside of you being filled once again within a second. 

His moans sound beautiful, he feels beautiful, and all you can do is stare up at him with watery eyes and a slack jaw, wondering why it took him so long to do this with you.

Wondering why it took you so long to want it at all, when now, you think you could never feel this good with another person again. 

His arms flex in your grasp with each thrust, and his eyes land on each visible part of your body before he weakens his stance and lowers himself to you, hips still fucking you open at a pace that’s only becoming more and more rapid, more and more fucking blinding. 

“Yeah, yeah–” Jake suddenly chimes with out of breath words, kissing you before you can comprehend or respond to those words. “No one has ever reacted like this for me–” He continues, pointing his thrusts harder into you. “Feels so good, so tight around me.” He chokes up at the last few words, stuttering his and picking up a different pace.

This time, those harsh thrusts pull back further, emptying you before slowly pressing into you again. 

“I want you to remember how this feels,” He continues, seemingly rambling against your lips with each slow thrust. “No one will ever fuck you like I will.” 

Your hooded eyes shoot open with arousal at his confident boasting. Those words feel so final, as if it isn’t even a rule, but a logical fact that only the two of you could ever find to be true. 

You can’t even manage a response, and instead moan before tucking your lips up and against his neck, using one hand to grip his hair and skew his head. 

That once naked and markless neck is no more. He is yours, and you’re lucky enough now to know that this is exactly how he wants you to feel. 

“Ahh, you like that?” He questions your reaction to his words, feeling your hips make attempts to meet him halfway with each thrust. “You like when I talk?” He continues to urge your sucking lips to speak out to him, to answer him, to boost his ego just a bit more. 

“So much,” You nearly whimper against his neck, moving your lips to another spot. “Love when you’re confident like this–”

He’s in heaven hearing those words. As if it’s a confirmation that he wasn’t just talking dirty. You both truly take those words and will fuck by them from this point forward. He truly doesn’t want anyone else, and hopefully, you’d never give another person the chance to make an attempt to fuck you the way he does. 

And then the room falls silent again, as if Jake is focused on reminding you with each passing second that he’s never been more sure or right of something in his life. Despite you already believing him, the way his cock pulses inside of you is enough of a reminder even if he had never said it in the first place. 

His pace quickens again, and then slows, and then stutters. Only to fall back into a good rhythm before his entire body starts to shake through the act. 

You wonder if this is it. Is this how his body reacts when he’s about to cum? Is this what his face looks like? Is this what his eyes do? Did his arms strain like this the first time? Did his moans come out as choked and desperate? 

None of that matters, because as quickly as it started, he buries himself into you again and stays in that one spot, shaking and timidly looking down at you. 

“Don’t move, please, don’t move.” He practically begs, losing himself to the way your hips chase the feeling of constant stimulation. “Stop moving.” He pleads again, pulling his chest from you and sitting up on his knees, keeping his cock in place deep within you. 

You watch him, unable to keep your hips still, and he watches you– trying to keep his orgasm under control before seeing your fingers trail down your stomach and to your clit.

There, he loses himself, watching you rub the soft spot just above where his cock stuffs you full. 

“I can’t,” He chokes out, snapping his hips back and allowing himself to get lost in the feeling. “Fuck, I really can’t.” He continues to mutter out, pressing his strings of cum ever deeper inside of you as he feels every muscle in his body tense. 

It feels so sensitive, but he can’t stop moving, feeling his cum fill you up to the point it’s surely being pressed out of you by his desperate length wanting nothing more than to stay inside of you.

You moan through it with him, encouraging him to lose himself inside of you, and he’s so beautiful when he does it. The fact that he does it at all has your body tensing on its own. Teetering on the edge of your own orgasm with the way your fingers almost aggressively chase after the feeling he appears to still be releasing inside of you.

And then, emptiness. You are left empty and dripping, fingers still chasing your release before–

“What the fu–” You moan, squeezing your eyes shut at the feeling of his tongue instantly back on you. As if he’s looping back to the beginning of it all, uncaring of tasting himself solely because through it all, he can still taste you. “Jake, Fuck–yes, right there.” You continue to groan when he replaces his tongue against your hole with his fingers, fucking into you as quickly as he can before nudging your fingers away and taking over the chase of your orgasm. 

You’re entirely amazed by how eager he is to pull it from you, and that alone is enough. The desperate ways in which he decided to pleasure you right in this moment, it’s enough.

Your hands instantly reach for his hair, gripping so tightly that you can hear the pained sound he lets out at the sheer force behind it. You very nearly rub his nose in the mess he’s made of you out of the sheer arousal you feel through your orgasm. 

You’re seeing white, feeling his fingers expertly work you open and somehow don’t feel disappointed at all that you didn’t get there before he pulled out of you. You can still feel him dripping out, fingers squelching and sliding through the mixture of both orgasms inside of you. And his tongue, good lord his fucking tongue, licking up every bit and eagerly flicking your clit at a pace much faster than he offered before.

And now, you find your legs nearly kicking him across the room. As soon as the orgasm subsides, your body goes into overdrive with the overwhelming sensitivity between your legs and all he can do is laugh at the way you practically do kick him.

Right off the bed, actually, he tumbles. 

You lay there, staring into space as you attempt to bring yourself back to reality when you see his messy hair and glistening eyes peek from the edge of your bed at you. His shoulders huffing with each deep breath he takes. 

“Jesus fucking christ.” You manage to gasp out, spread eagle and almost completely naked on your bed save for the forgotten shirt that’s still pushed up to your collarbone. 

He makes his way back up to you, pressing your legs together, lowering your shirt, and planting his heavy dead-weight right on top of you. 

A solid ten minutes pass as the two of you lay there in the mess you’ve both created. Heavy breaths turn to easy, balanced breaths together. You can barely hold your eyes open when he finally rolls off of you and right up against your side. 

“Can I ask you something?” He mutters, throat dry and stomach growling embarrassingly loud. 

“Hm?” You hum out, entirely ready to just sleep in the mess.

“Are you always like that?” He questions, a little hint of doubt breaking his confidence. “Like, did Sunghoon see you act like that too?” 

You crack your eyes open and instantly turn to face him. 

“You’re insane if you think Sunghoon is that good. I’ve never used the word ‘please’ in my life.”

Jake glances away, thinking to himself and letting those words sink in.

“Well,” He starts, pausing and feeling that little pit in his stomach return. “That’s a lie because I’ve heard you use your manners at least twice in the years I’ve known you.” 

You smile, loving that the two of you can still be somewhat catty and playful even after the fact that you just realized how insanely in love with him you are. 

“Jake, no one has ever made me act like this in bed.” You try to reassure him. “I don’t think anyone else could, besides you.”

He smiles with a nod, running his hands down your body before pausing at the half dried cum that managed to make its way up to your stomach. And then? He groans. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

It’s insane really, that all it took for you to fall in love with the person you think you were always meant to love was him admitting it. Even more insane that he decided to take the route that involved faux playful head, with no feelings attached despite his feelings being deeply fucking attached. 

Still, the route taken to get to this point, he thinks, is fitting for the two of you. Especially now that he can look at Sunghoon without wanting to strangle him, and he can look at you knowing you’d very much invite him to strangle you, you know, considering the fact that you’re now trying to explore every sexual realm in the fucking universe with him.

Even with the desperate need to have you under him any chance he gets, and the fucking, and the arousal, none of it shines brighter than the small intimate moments he has with you that aren’t weighed down by pining or lust. 

As playful as the two of you are together, there is so much love here. So much love to still be discovered too, and he can’t help but feel excited by it. 

Romance isn’t dead, despite how the two of you tried to fucking butcher it. 

[thegreatpapaya666]

I'M COMING OUT (a third time) I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW I GOT TO SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING (i forgot the words to the song lmao i heard it in trolls that one time)

hewwo bestie boos

so first i was like "hey y'all i'm pansexual yippee" and that was super fun

but then i got a bf and i was like "fuck this shit" and after a whole bunch of mental breakdances and introspection shit i was like "i'm pansexual and aromantic" so slay

and it was nice because when you're in the Gay Neurodivergent Theater Kid Friend Group™ when you tell your besties how gay you are all they do is laugh and make you a pride pin and doodle you doing shit corresponding to your sexuality (for instance when my bestie came out as ace we drew him throwing garlic bread at some badly drawn dicks it was a whole thing lol) and nobody really gives a shit besides for using the correct pronouns and lovingly making fun of your sexuality

but then i had even more mental breakdances and introspection shit and i was like "wtf??? i thought i maxxed out my gayness" (gay is an umbrella term here) and then i realized i'm ace. but then i was sorta kinda cornfuzzled (that means confused in papaya lingo) bc like how can i be aroace and pan? huh? and then i kept on thinking:

i experience some romantic attraction.

i experience some sexual attraction.

and when i do experience that (however rare it is), it can be for anybody regardless of gender.

so my bestie told me about oriented aroace where you're completely aro and completely ace and you feel the other kinds of attraction that aren't romantic or sexual toward a certain gender and feel like that fits your identity (feel free to correct me on any of this i suck at explaining things and i may have interpreted this badly)

and then there's also angled aroace which is basically the same thing except for aro-spec and ace-spec rather than 100% no romantic & sexual attraction

but my bestie also said that the dude who coined the term "oriented aroace" was sorta kinda gatekeeping and they didn't want grey aroaces invading their term and they weren't "real" aroaces or something whatever and it was super dumb and icky and I don't fully understand it

in conclusion: i think i like pan angled aroace! so I'm using that term now!

however, a lot of people really don't know what that term means. so i don't really know what to tell them cause i suck even more at explaining things irl than online. and i also don't know how to come out to my parents. but i also hate my mom so maybe she doesn't deserve to know. welp that's a conversation for another day.

so thanks for listening and bye bestiesssss <333

edit: i edited the title bc i forgot how to spell for a lil bit :c

[cator99]

The conversation went like this: general pleasantries followed by her being like I'm so relieved you reached out to me because I really just want to have a more positive relationship with all of you guys and I know how annoying it is when a landlord isn't able to deal with things in a timely manner I get it I'm a renter too... i get the sense that, just as i had over-prepared for the conversation, she had over-prepared to apologize for the fact that the basement bathroom has a recurring leak issues that get patched up and then continue to cause issues meanwhile she's literally going through a divorce and has to keep postponing because she wants to be there when the repair dudes come to make sure they're doing their job properly but she has a big trial coming up and had to put it off by another week, it's really no big deal tbh... I assured her that she's been doing a fantastic job at staying on top of things and communicating with us oh my fucking god okay new girl is banging that fugly creepy white boy she keeps bringing over so god damn loud l cant wait for her to gtfo anyways yeah so we basically just spent 10 minutes getting on the same page like we good we good she just wants to make sure that everyone is chill in the house and we had a really good talk about what we all want from this but TLDR once we got down to business it went like this:

Me: Pins Girl is the problem

Her: omg slay I fucking hate her please go on

Me: yaaaas she fucking sucks here's some tea sis....

Her: ok work so I'm not crazy for being like maddd uncomfortable around her like one time this thing happened...

Me: omg lol no seriously she's vile here's another wild example related to your anecdote....

Her: no way bestie she did that to me too. Just 0 to 100 in an instant I didnt even know what to do just being accused of every -ism under the sun

Me: yeah no that's just kind of how things go with her you cant get so much as an innocent Hello in without her immediately labeling it a hostile attack

Her: yas okay good riddance so what's the deal with this new girl she's her friend should I be concerned

Me: oh girl.......... so, no not really she's a sweetheart and also– thank god– fully employed. Absolutelyyy messy as hell tho so that's one of my biggest concerns. I think it would be best if you didn't add her to the lease no shade but she's really not a great fit since we're all older and chill and clean af

Her: ...and the rest of the concerns? Oh my god do you think [PG] will try to move back in if we decline her friend???

Me: no wayy she wants OUT out she's already got a new place lined up and her shit in boxes at the door waiting to be hauled off forever

Her: omg like. Far? Like is she moving far? Please tell me she's moving sooo far

Me: yes lmao dont even worry I dont know the exacts but it's nowhere even near here

Her: okay slayyyyy thank you for being dope as hell it's such a relief that this crazy person is gone so we can all just chilllll

Me: okay so about that

Her: ohhh no

Me: yes so you already know what we're dealing with. You know how she deemed me unworthy of being on speaking terms with her? I didn't mind that at all and really just kept tf to myself. Then suddenly she moves in this friend of hers and I just assumed this was done with some sort of approval from you, because that would be the normal thing to do.

Her: okay that's kind of wack, do you guys not like get a vote on these sorts of things

Me: I stayed out of it plus like I'm really not gonna start questioning her and risk putting myself in the line of fire and everyone is pretty much in that position as well

Her: omg no fr...

Me: so like I just kept to myself and my work without thinking about it... then I find out she was living here totally off the record when PG sent that email requesting that she be added to the lease. That's when the conversation opened up. And listen this new girl is super young super naive didnt realize that she was even doing anything wrong and then suddenly everyone's totally freaking out and realizing that this goes against the lease agreement and that if you find out, our ability to live here is jeopardized. She got us into hot water and then just... left us to deal with the consequences.

Her: she's still legally bound by the lease until it changes so if anything goes wrong she wont be escaping accountability no matter how many -isms she throws at me. I want this to work for all of us and we got this trust thang between us and I wouldn't evict you guys omg evictions are seriously sooo annoying and *most* of you have been great tenants especially (names everyone except for the unemployed ftm) they're all super chill and mature and we've had great conversations so yeah I'm just glad she's gone

Me: incredible yaas I love honesty. She has been actively impeding our ability to have a productive working relationship with you and each other it's so crazy

Her: literallyyyy😁🥂🔥yipeee

Me: yippee yaaaaay yay 😇☝️💯

Her: okay so my game plan is to interview the new girl irl like no zoom bs I really wanna read her vibes and decide if this is worth it... I'll give her a chance but if that doesn't work out... I mean... tee hee..... the yearly house inspection is coming up...

Me: ok that's so dope. She's gonna be moving upstairs once PG vacates so its gonna be pretty hard to hide the fact someone's right there even just doing a quick walk-through

Her: yeah so if things don't go well and I decide against putting her on the lease and they still don't admit to having her there then at least I can talk to them about it when the inspection happens and be chill about it and pretend like I totally had no idea. We can work something out as long as everything is good you know what I mean... okay if you need anything at all dont even hesitate to give me a call

Me: absolutely and if I have any updates I'll let you know ASAP, lmk if you need anything srsly I dont want to cause you any more stress like from what i understand you've had a stressful enough year

Her: yes good lord i have, thank you for being considerate..... seriously it's been hellish and this conversation has been such a relief

etc etc obviously the conversation was longer and more thorough but you get the gist. She's awesome. We hung up and I skipped my way to the grocery store

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Starlight isn't interested in being a mom, she'll protect kids when the situation calls for it and be supportive of said kids, but she's not gonna take care of a child 24/7. She's more "protective auntie" type than "Good mom energy". Nobody expected Billy to be all nurturing towards kids, they shouldn't expect the same from starlight, it doesn't matter if the latter has a stronger connection to kids. We never saw her talk wanting kids nor shown any implications of her wanting to join motherhood. She definitely seems like she's someone who likes kids, but doesn't want any of her own. So yeah, don't expect her to be anyone's mom. Nobody expected Billy to be anyone's dad, especially if you read the comics, don't expect starlight to be anyone's mom. Idgas if she's nicer to kids than billy.

idk what you're on about anon but it's fuckin' weird, i'ma tell ya that.

starlight wanting kids is basically schrodinger's cat here. sure, she's never said or implied she specifically *wanted* kids.

but she's never said or implied that she specifically *doesn't* want kids either, in either iteration so whatever you thought this was, it's just a great big can of nothin' word soup.

or in other words, this random ramble that showed up in my inbox? it don't make a lick of sense.

also, why even care so much if starlight becomes a mom or not??? that is an exceedingly weird thing to grasp onto, i gotta say. it sounds more like *you* specifically don't want her to have kids and are possibly projecting your own desire onto your interpretation of the character, so headcanon i guess?? which fine, but why bother me with it???????? who even cares whether she becomes a mom or not? if they go that route, they go that route, if they don't, they don't.

butt.

i will also say that if starlight didn't ever want kids or had some sort of issue with adopting one, she probably would have freaked out the first second hughie mentioned 'may have signed us up to adopt a kid'. she was pretty unfazed in response so it either just wasn't something she cared to give much attention to in that moment (half because she wouldn't mind/half because more important topics at hand), or her and hughie *are* actually at the stage in their relationship where kids aren't necessarily the goal, but they're okay with becoming parents and have probably talked about it (at least once, generally an important conversation for a healthy het couple that is sexually active)

and why in satan's red hellscape would you designate her as a 'protective auntie' specifically to bar her from 'good mom energy'?????????? first of all, WHAT?? who are you to decide that for another woman?????? how do you even decide *for another woman* 'yeah, she likes kids but def never wants any of her own'??? leik wut?? when did she say *anything* even remotely implying this???????????

why do *you* get to speak for *her*?????? what the hell are you even basing this assumption on????????????

and second, why couldn't she be both???? people can be *both* moms to one kid and aunts to others. if your mom has siblings(or super close family friends/besties), and her siblings(besties) have kids, which would be your cousins(or conisdered family), she's an aunt too(or could be considered one)!

and if mom's sibling is a sister and they both have kids, wouldn't ya know, they're *both* mom/auntie combos!!

leik where is the logic here?????????????

shoot, we might even see them actually adopt a kid (maybe teddy stillwell) if that paperwork did actually go through and i could def picture hughie freakin' out but annie bein' a total boss about it (also lmao would be kinda great since the kid's powers match hughie's, could also picture butcher pushing hughie to adopt teddy specifically to use him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

butt~ there's also leaked spoilers of a pregnancy reveal in the next season, big chance it could be starlight's, leik big enough to make a safe bet i'd guess, but who knows.

otherwise, i mean if you wanna write starlight not being a mom in fanfic, that's an option. it is free. have at it.

just maybe don't bother the people who do make her become a mom in their own fics or want to see that in the show, or try to implement your personal vision of 'what starlight should be' onto them, that much is a bit of a dick move. (you can make your own meta and nicely discuss but this ask is hella weird)

leik you could have just been honest and said 'i don't want starlight to have kids' and it would have made a 1000 times more sense and been more valid than whatever the hell this thing was.

i ramble a ton but don't care one way or another, which just makes this extra weird anon. honestly wtf. this might make more sense if i gushed about starlight becoming a mom as much as i did about butcher getting impregnated~<3 but i've only ever mentioned it in passing, probably once or twice?? normally in reference to predictions for *if* ryan survives, which i've made pretty clear i'm *not* holding out for. (that kid died in the comic by butcher's hand, given the parallels with the kid accidentally killing his mom in both comic and show, i'm expecting a similar parallel for him and butcher eventually) you sure this one was meant for me???

also, the way things are going + leaked spoilers, maybe don't be surprised if she does in fact become a mom in canon? (or if butcher causes her to have a miscarriage i guess. would not put it past him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

[ladytauria]

Jaytimsteph falling in love with your best friends partner you say 👀 please say more

happily!

this one is being written as a prompt response to @waffleinator-inator <3

writing it was my first time writing steph pov and she just---ran away with me <3 basically: steph and tim are besties but also exes, because as much as they love each other, they finally decided to give up after one too many break-ups. and now! tim is with jason <3 and steph is really happy for him. really, and truly she is.

now.

if she could kindly tell herself to stop falling in love with jason too, that would be nice <3

i THOUGHT i had shared snippets of this wip before but i,,, have not. or if i have, i can't find them in my tags / through tumblr's search. which is upsetting bc it means i now have to pick which of these segments i want to share TuT

hm.

you know what.

actually i won't pick. you get um. 3 snippets <3

Steph spins her chair, balancing her elbow on the arm and cradling her chin in her hand. She thumbs her phone open. One unread message in the group chat she shares with Jason and Tim.

Her traitorous heart flutters; a smile curling on her mouth despite herself.

[TIM] gna mss mv nte. sry steph 😔 m SO bhnd on bdgt rvw; tam’s gna kill me. u 2 shld stl hve fn tho

Ah, yes. Timothy “vowels are optional” Drake. He’s the most atrocious texter Steph has ever met, and she hates that that makes her feel fond.

[STEPH] i thought you loved paperwork?

[JAY] No, he’s a stalker who loves digging through other people’s stuff. Actual paperwork he could care less about

[TIM] 🛑

[JAY] No <3 I told you to do it last night, babe.

[STEPH] lmao busted

[TIM] ws bsy

[JAY] He was gaming with Kon and Bart.

[TIM] & cassie & cissie

[JAY] And Cassie and Cissie.

Steph snorts.

[STEPH] oh, well, that was more important, obvs

[TIM] steph gts it

[JAY] Please don’t encourage him.

[STEPH] that sounds perfect. ur the best jay 💜

[TIM] 😭

[STEPH] do your paperwork, tim 💅🏼

[TIM] prsctn

[JAY] …wtf tim

[STEPH] damn, babe. u made jay drop capitals

[STEPH] but also. what the fuck tim

[TIM] persecution

[JAY] Would it really kill you to type out full words?

[TIM] y 🙂

[STEPH] losing battle, hon. we’re lucky he still uses letters.

He doesn’t bother with Cass. Their conversations happen in full emoji, like modern hieroglyphics. Steph gives herself an 80% chance of correctly deciphering them.

With the rest of them, Tim uses words. Or, well. Something approximate to words, chopping them down to their basest parts. It’s kind of entertaining, especially when it makes both Bruce and Jason furrow their brows in exactly the same way.Not that Steph would ever point that out. She has some sense of self-preservation.

Steph will always be a little bit in love with Tim Drake.

It’s something she’s come to accept about herself, the same way she accepts that her curls will always have a mind of their own, that her stretch marks are here to stay, and that her left knee will always ache before it rains.

She also knows that it’s best they stay just friends. Not that that’s a hardship, or anything. Tim is a hell of a lot better friend than he was a boyfriend—though in hindsight, Steph can admit she wasn’t a stellar girlfriend, either. They were young and dumb—or, well, younger and dumber—and now their history was too fraught to ever think about trying again.

Steph loves being Tim’s bestie, even when that means biting her tongue about his relationships.

Especially with Jason Todd of all people.

Steph can honestly say she never saw that coming.

Like, sure, okay. He’s hot. Steph can admit that, she’s got eyes.

He’s the kind of guy you could actually climb like a tree—tall and broad and thick to boot, with thighs made for biting and pecs Steph is pretty sure would fit nicely in one of her bras. He’s also handsome, in a rugged sort of way, with his twice broken nose and the scar curving up his cheek and his full, kissable lips. His curls always manage to be perfect, too—artfully messy, even when he falls asleep on the couch or takes off that helmet of his.

It’s enviable, really.

Some day she’ll ask him his secret.

But… Steph always kind of saw him as a walking bad idea. The kind of guy baby Steph would have adored, which… Steph loves baby Steph—or she’s trying to—but she had shit taste in men. And Jason, with his leather jackets and guns and daddy issues (and mommy issues too, come to think of it)—

He certainly fit the bill.

Except—

Despite all outward appearances… Jason is a good guy. He’s smart, and funny, and passionate, and kind, and—

Ugh.

Steph kind of hates him a little.

Because, like. Steph can handle thinking about Jason sometimes, in a not-so-friendly, maybe-a-little-bit-sexy way. Tim, too—or even both of them together. Maybe sometimes it gets a little awkward but… Fantasizing is human, and Steph is an adult. She can picture them fucking her and each other six ways to Sunday, doing whatever the raunchiest part of her brain cooks up, and still behave normally around them after.

She’s a grown woman. Her hormones are not the fucking boss of her.

So. Attraction? Handled. Steph has that shit on lock.

What she cannot handle is—Feelings.

[libra-stellium]

Tracking Venus transits!

Notes from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

Venus sextile Ascendant (May 8 - May 12)

I was sleep deprived during this time from my loud upstairs neighbors so I didn't go anywhere lol it was still a chill time

Very lighthearted time, you should be able to relax with friends

You feel so good you want to share it with everyone and express your feelings of affections

This transit helps to improve your relationships with everyone especially those closest to you

Good time to go out and meet people

Transit helps ensure you make a favorable impression

Venus sextile Saturn (May 13 - May 18)

This transit will show you in a positive way the duties and obligations that you have to live up to in your relationships, this will not be difficult

On 5/17 my aunt came to my apt asking for a slice of bread (she lives in the building lol) and I was like just make a sandwich and she did and at the same time my bestie texted me she was on her way and I was like ??? you're a day early lol but she didn't want to stay at her house so I told her it was fine to come and that was honestly fine! I think that the space I created for myself is so homey that it also brings other people comfort when they are here and I'm happy to share it!

Transit favors any creative activity demanding close attention to details

I made so much progress on my 3000 piece puzzle! I went to zumba and that was a lot of fun!

Your work will be carried out with great discipline

I packed my suitcase so easily!

Venus trine Neptune (May 15 - May 20)

Very pleasant transit, not very good to get work done, daydreaming

I didn't have any work at work and I was getting ready for vacation lol

Enables you to deal with people with great compassion and tenderness, you understand what they feel and think

That same night my aunt came for the sandwich we had a conversation and she was basically saying how she doesn't like having thoughts and i was like ??? tf?? lmao but basically she doesn't process anything ever bc to her it happened in the past so it doesn't matter anymore lol and then in the same convo she wants to talk about stuff her dad did when she was younger and the effect on her lol like....okay girl

Transit induces unselfish and spiritual love, just wandering about in a fog

I think this was an ideal transit to have while traveling bc this sounds like barely sleeping on the place and still having a fun day out bc it doesn't even feel real!

Venus trine Uranus (May 18 - May 23)

Transit will bring a little excitement to your life, something unexpected and stimulating that will help to make ordinary days more easily borne

New experiences every day in Amsterdam!

People you meet today are likely to be quite different from your usual friends

I was in a different country so everyone was different lol all super nice! Although tell me why at baggage claim when we arrived this lady literally punched my shoulder to move me out of her way LMFAO old ass bitch

You will seek different forms of entertainment today, maybe a concert of experimental music

Bestie and I tried edibles for the first time! It just made me more hilarious tbh but it was interesting to see that i had the same "sober up" power for like 5 min that I have when I'm drunk which is just enough to make sure we were safe and would get to our hotel safely lol

Venus opposite Pluto (May 20 - May 24)

You will seek feelings and emotions that transport you out of the ordinary

I feel like it was fated to try edibles in Amsterdam lol

Existing relationships may suffer difficulties because of obscure conflicts

I wonder if my aunt sharing my pics with my mom on 5/21 would count as an obscure conflict....

Be aware of yourself at all times, don’t let resentment flare up, air tensions but not destructively

I don't remember tensions tbh

Venus trine Sun (May 23 - May 28)

One of the most pleasant transits, good for enjoyable activity

This was the last couple days of my vacation, the trip back and first day back at work lol it was a fun time overall and that first day back at work no one emailed me asking for things so that was great!

Transit is good for recreation, pleasure, and amusing yourself with friends

Bestie and I went on these swings at the top of a building in Amsterdam and that was amazing!

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

I just finished the Button House Archives and it's SPECTACULAR. Here are some personal highlights:

I love Alison's additions and comments in lots of places. She is fighting tooth and nail to stay on those hinges, and we love to see a character with spunk!

Mick's facial reconstruction could be the most horrifying thing I have *ever* seen

Mary's bits are some of my absolute favourites. Her speaking/writing voice is just delicious

Pat was just a terrible group leader wasn't he XD the arrow was really just a matter of time. He should have gone orienteering with them first, then he might have lost the kids before they could kill him

HAH I unwittingly picked Kitty's "character quote" to use in my video edit :P I feel validated

Thomas with his painfully literal complaints about other people's poems OMG rip bestie you would have loved tumblr (I haven't listened to the audiobook yet but I swear I can hear his "counted them, did you?" through the page)

I really like the way you can glimpse parts of later documents around the edges of earlier ones (like with Pat's folder, where the layers are removed one at a time, p. 22-23, 40-41, etc)

Hang on, just gotta go put on One Night in Bangkok for Robin (wait, now I need to hear him say that out loud)

Cap's munitions requests and personally penned operations with their TERRIBLE hand drawn maps that he keeps sending to actual Southern Command; I am fascinated by your mind sir. I believe he suffers from the same affliction I had in school where a combination of the dunning-cruger effect regarding general knowledge and teachers not talking to you in person about what you write in hand-ins causes you to just sort of assume everything you do is brilliant and that then it simply disappears into an unknowable void, and therefore you feel basically free to confess to murder in writing without ever thinking of the consequences. Embarrassment and second thoughts are very much face-to-face kinds of emotions (as he. ahem. would come to find out). Like, is written communication even real? Did it ever really leave your head?

Also: his war diaries were published? 1) who chose to publish them and 2) did Havers ever come across them by any chance? (plus: love to see a fellow tiny handwriting person. Cheers!)

The hand lettering on everything is so well made!!! I know a little (heavy emphasis on 'little') about palaeography, and the writing styles are recognisably of their eras, if many of the letter forms have indeed been updated to be readable for modern audiences. Compare for example Arthur Pinhoe's writing from 1575 (p. 8-11) with this actual letter from 1547. Also this actual 1700s writing to Kitty's diary entries from 1779 (p. 70-71 etc). (These samples are in Swedish but minus åäö they're all the same letters.) The writing also follows the pattern of older script being generally more rigid and standardised, while the closer to present day we get the more individual the handwriting becomes, which is a great opportunity for additional characterisation—which has also been very well implemented I think. I'm devouring every page of this, line by line!

REST IN BRIEFS (also the sly tail of the 'y' from the Daily Mail title just visible above the only compassionate headline lmao)

The reason I cannot talk to people is that Fanny's etiquette rules on conversing take over my entire mind from the moment I see another person.

Oh Kitty, I am coming to pick you up—you can be my sister instead of Eleanor's. It was nice to read her final entry though; finally the trick backfired and she got something good out of it while Eleanor suffered. Bieetch.

FANNY. SINCERELY. YOU ARE INSANE. I already knew about the letter where she demands reimbursement for the unsunk 7/8 of the Titanic's journey that she was cheated out of, but to SIGN IT OFF WITH "Would be survisor/victim of the RMS Titanic". Unbelievable.

Pat write a legible word challenge

I have a slight suspicion Julian might have had something to do with the designs for the Boys Adventure Club badges...

The "pictures of the ghosts" will make excellent reference photos for the various rooms, I appreciate them very much (should we make a game out of copying them and filling in the ghosts? There is a lot of potential there)

Humphrey, my guy... do you need a hug? (Sorry.)

FLOOR PLANS FLOOR PLANS FLOOR PLANS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH I WILL TREASURE THESE WITH MY LIFE

Robin's constellations are impeccable I say we officially replace the zodiac with these no more superstition only bum

Julian's final email was really well written; a single page yet it's oozing with character and story

The behind the scenes pictures at the end are heartwarming. I am slightly alarmed at my ability to pinpoint the precise scene in the specific episode many of them are from though... is it maybe time for a break?

No. Never!

[onboardsorasora]

hiii I was reading Reclamation which is my favorite fic btw

And I wanted to ask you, because in the story Victoria said something like “so you’re talking and not going away to duck like on your first date” SO HOW WAS THEIR FIRST DATE HOW DID THEY MEET?

Hey Bestie!!! 🥰🥰 this makes me so happy 😭

Omg, So in true Sora fashion, I dropped everything and opened a google doc 😅 I got like 500 words in and was like 'lets not rush this maybe.' It took a lot of willpower but I stopped writing lmao.

I'll probably actually flesh out a first meeting/first date coda when I have some time.

BUT, all that to say: I HAVE thought about it lmao. I'll put it under the cut

So we know they met through Charles. Jules and Daniel swung by Charles' to pick something up and Max was there. Max asks Daniel out first but Daniel chose the date. I feel like that would be their dynamic upfront. Max taking initiative and Daniel filing in the gaps.

The date is actually party- Daniel chose it because Charles wouldn't stop bitching and moaning that they can't date and Daniel figured a party is a low key, low stakes way to find out if things can work out and if not then its a party! Fun can still be had!

Charles is an equal opportunity bitch and moaner so he complains to Max while he's getting ready. This is what I actually wrote lol here's a snippet:

“Charles, are you really just gonna sit there and not help me?” Max was exasperated. Charles was exasperating. “No! I was serious when I was saying I wouldn’t help you! Mate, this is like technically incest or something– you can’t go on a date with Daniel!” Max rolled his eyes as he sprayed some cologne on his chest. Charles was being dramatic as usual. “Factually, it's not incest. None of us are related.” Max pointed out, just to be a little shit. He snickered when he heard Charles’ annoyed groan. “Max, you can’t go out with him, he’s like my uncle!” Max pulled out a crisp white v neck and shrugged it on, he was hellbent on ignoring Charles right now. His point was moot; he asked Daniel out, Daniel said yes and they were going to a party tonight. End of story. “You don’t even like Daniil.” Charles tried a different tactic, Max snorted a laugh. “No, I don’t like Esteban. I don’t know Daniil. But apparently he throws good parties.” Max shrugged. He turned to look at his pouting best friend. “How do I look?”  Charles sneered at Max’s basic white tee, blue jeans and sneaker combo. “You look basic as hell. Please do not put on a cap!” Charles snapped when Max started reaching for his favourite wide brimmed cap. “Sure sure, fine fine. No cap.” He conceded.

They get to the party and maxiel does that thing they do where they forget other people exist in the world for the first time. Charles is worried because he sees the signs that its actually going well. Then he loses them.

Max and Daniel are probably chatting on their own for an hour tops before Max kisses Daniel. Then Daniel drags him to his SUV that's parked further up the street from where Charles had parked, and they fuck in the backseat.

Then they go back to the party and giggle and make eyes and be gross the whole night. Daniel takes Max home because that's the clear path here and that's how they got together. They fucked around for a month or so before actually having a conversation about it and then they were together for three years before the horrorsTM 😅😅

[quietbluejay]

Fulgrim 7

okay Vespasian POV he's noticed the decline in the Legion's moral fibre since Fabius started doing surgery on everyone

and he keeps getting stonewalled every time he tries to meet fulgrim so he just barged in and yeah we just got confirmation that Fulgrim was trying to get Solomon killed

huh Fulgrim shows him the painting, he's disgusted

….huh i'm honestly deeply shocked that given how they were described pre-Laer, that a guy with as high a rank as Vespasian wouldn't have something welp RIP Vespasian so I guess at some point Fulgrim must have told everyone that Vespasian went to a farm upstate for them not to be suspicious about this...

time for fulgrim to give a speech he's splitting the party, some of them are gonna join up with Ferrus and the IH, the rest are going to Isstvan Vespasian's men so i guess everyone aside from them is now infected? oh back to the Iron Hands Santar and Ferrus are talking about how they left it was…awkward lol

santar overstepped, again, and hastily apologizes i guess he's out of line, but he's right time for Fulgrim to attempt to Evil Shounen Talk no Jutsu Ferrus

oh Fulgrim didn't bring the spicy knife Marius POV, hey it's been a while Marius he's getting angry because the IH ship is ugly Fulgrim actually seems…himself? talking to Ferrus at least, as much as he had consistent characterization time to talk about the emperor

really? that was really one of the saddest moments in your life??? really???????? anyways the worst was apparently when horus told him the emperor was turning into a god fulgrim starts yelling about joining horus ferrus starts losing his temper

this kills the bluejay it's not just me right this dialogue is killing what should be a deeply serious scene

like. wow. he's straight up ready to kill his bestie after 1 conversation, no hesitation so they're fighting at the forge this isn't actually too bad of a fight scene that's always been where McNeill is the best anyways it ends with Ferrus exploding the sword he made for Fulgrim, and Fulgrim running off with Forgebreaker while Ferrus is unconscious no wait he's conscious he's just too busy staring at the destruction oh nvm the scene didn't end there I guess the fight is still going on

okay that was genuinely a bit moving it's a low bar but Fulgrim is definitely a better man than Ferrus oh huh Julius killed Santar Fulgrim: well that didn't go according to keikaku, let's leave so the EC did a lot of damage to the IH because they weren't expecting it, but Fulgrim called off the attack before they got all of them so the EC flagship is getting more and more chaotic (heh) meanwhile Ostian is like

actually we haven't hit this yet he's still busy with his sculpture so i guess he's missed everything in the past several months. lmao. wait no he did go down and have this reaction and then immediately holed himself up in his rooms

he caught sight of Serena and she continues to not do well she was working with Fulgrim and he had a makeover he's got piercings and tattoos and a mohawk and wears revealing clothing now okay not the mohawk he might have white guy dreads though ostian: as soon as i have a chance i'm getting out of here oh Solomon's on Isstvan welp we knew this was coming ….are black library authors contractually obligated to sneak in a reference to "grim darkness" or some similar phrase in every horus heresy novel? or do they just choose to do this i mean if you've read Galaxy in Flames there isn't really anything new in Solomon's segment

anyways

Fulgrim is just basically ohohohoing Fulgrim: I shall be as irritating to Horus as it is physically possible for me to be Fulgrim: and I am capable of being EXTREMELY IRRITATING

Fulgrim: ew. make Perturabo do it instead

i spy with my little eye continuity error new coke horus is too busy being creepy and evil to pay attention to continuity Fulgrim: okay make Mortarion do it

oh yes i love McNeill writing Horus being "superbly diplomatic" and "subtle" Horus loses his temper at Fulgrim after Fulgrim overdramatically calls this a betrayal

yes. diplomacy horus: is it working fulgrim: yes 79% soon i will be free Fulgrim is also being uh, a little weird about Horus getting angry at him Fulgrim: ah my heart doki dokis when Horus starts yelling also whatever uncorrupted voice was inside him seems to no longer be speaking over to Solomon and Lucius and welp Lucius tricked him into killing other loyalists and now Lucius is going to kill him

he gets an overdramatic death scene moral of the story: hey maybe don't be an ass to people

we're back with the Iron Hands and Santar is mysteriously okay Ferrus is in an "anger-fuelled depression" so they tried to repair their ships fast and head back to Terra to warn everyone but unfortunately warp storms

yeah im not surprised also 100 astropaths were sacrificed before they finally gave up finally they start getting messages and apparently war is raging everywhere

okay explanation Santar has word from Dorn exciting Cistor (head astropath) is suspicious about the calming of the warp time to go to isstvan v ….given astropathic communication, how DO they communicate stuff like planet names given how many there are in the imperium Ferrus orders them to leave immediately

ok okay ostian is DONE his sculpture

makes me feel a tiny bit bad for all the stuff i've ever said about mcneills writing but like he's never gonna see it unless he lurks on tumblr i guess also I haven't been that mean except about the farting noises and leeches also like, man got paid money for this i paid money for this anyways ostian gets jumpscared by fulgrim

annnd Fulgrim is. not happy that Ostian hasn't been reading the room and made a statue of the Emperor

also how many times have people wet themselves in this book like 3-4 times

Fulgrim tells him about the betrayal at Isstvan V for who knows what reason okay ostian time to die and that's it, rip ostian ah it's my dude lucius he's back he and eidolon as per usual don't get along

except…it was up to him lmao oh boy over to Serena she's not doing well and she just momentarily came back to her senses and realizes "I KILLED SIX PEOPLE" im still wondering how she managed to attract them given how she's described as being extremely foul smelling she gets herself cleaned up as best she can and goes to see Ostian but, welp, he's dead

Serena: Ostiannnnnn…you loved me and then she impales herself on the same sword that's- wait how does that even work okay so i went over ostian's death and WHAT Fulgrim was facing him, Ostian was trapped between fugrim and the statue and somehow fulgrim stabbed him with the spicy knife FROM BEHIND THROUGH THE STATUE okay it's not the stupidest thing that's happened in this book but it's bizarre and then he left his precious sword there??? in the marble??? anyways serena and ostian are together in death

actually wait come to think of it, how is the spicy knife primarch-sized anyways

Isstvan V time we get this whole blurb on isstvan mythology Fulgrim is looking so good it makes everyone happy despite everyone being bored out of their skulls with this fortress gig there i summarized 5 pages oh boy time for the opera mcneill did we need to know becky's had a bikini wax NOOOOO THE POOR BIRDS

where did they even get these songbirds from i want to know also how did they get them to sing i'm pretty sure in such circumstances birds aren't really...

julius, upon seeing becky: i thought fulgrim was the only hot person in existence but…i guess women are also attractive?! welp RIP tobias he's dead now

well that went from 0-100 real quick

rip Coraline julius: a crab claw lady is fine too birth of noise marines: part 2 - instrument edition

McNeill I'm going to break into your house and chew on all your furniture

yeah im not going to summarize the opera any more it was extremely predictable except for the daemons showing up, that was new anyways iron hands now Balhaan and Diederich are internally squeeing over being in the presence of 3 primarchs

some day i'm gonna have to do dramatic readings from this book again oh hey first time i've actually met corvus

yeah i think you covered "swarthy" when you said "dark" "depth of wisdom that had humbled the greatest scholars of the imperium" the average intelligence level of humans must have dropped precipitously that's it that's the only conclusion i can come to

this is because horus is one of the only primarchs with a sense of tactics

huh someone actually used "dishonourable" correctly im shocked also at his most sympathetic here, Ferrus is really chafing at waiting

lol i do wonder how many astropaths ferrus has crushed

next time: Isstvan V

[distortedmoondisc]

hiiai for the ask game thing 🥺👉👈

Hi!! Thank you so much for asking for my otp vi 🥹💖💖💖

So! I hope I don't get too rambly with it ahdhfj

1. What made you ship it?: oh boy, the first and second chapters of the !! Main Story made me become so obsessed with them it wasn't even normal. I went into ensemble stars without any idea or notion about the franchise or the writing beforehand and I was absolutely confused with the way the characters talked to each other (the enstars writing is definitely an acquired taste imo lmao). So you must imagine how insane I felt when I, who wasn't used to male characters having such blatant, shameless and obviously deliberately flirty/romantic/shippy intended dialogue with each other such as.... This:

This was!!!! On their first meeting!!! They have known each other for less than 5 minutes and Aira has already fondled Hiiro's bicep!!!! Are these two normal??? (If you've been into enstars long enough you'll know that the answer is !!! No !!!)

And what's funnier is that after Aira does the (rub, rub), the next dialogue is literally this:

so like.... Akira (writer of all of the !! Main story) here had to force a switch on the conversation so these two could focus again on the topic they were discussing before (about whether or not they're underachievers and about Ensemble Square) from that fondling muscles scene. This means Akira didn't have any need to write that scene between these two, it wasn't necessary for the plot. The madlad just added that scene in there out of nowhere. Just for the funsies. For a silly little laugh. Because there's nothing more fun than making your OCs flirt with each other this shamelessly in your own story. He really gets the assignment.

Listing a few honorable mentions for hiiai interactions from the first and second episodes of the !! MS that made me imprint on them so hard that they became my biggest otp since july of last year and has taken hold of my heart ever since 🫶

Hiiro fawning over Aira's beautiful name 🥺🥺🥺

Hiiro here was really like yeah you're my soulmate, my soulmate bestie (no but seriously do you ever think about how hiiro became so attached to aira so quickly and wanted to become his friend so bad, and how he also saw their meeting as fate....)

He is so dramatic, he didn't even get directly rejected here

This is a personal favorite. I can't stress how mentally ill I was when I read Hiiro saying "I'll do my best to destroy the future where you'll feel sad" DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF???? this should be added to the "is this Russian literature or enstars" online quiz

If you are observant enough you'll see that Hiiro is the one shamelessly flirting all the time AHDJF but Aira himself (mostly in later chapters) also says some questionable stuff about Hiiro in some parts that makes you go... Huh (Aira saying to Hiiro "Aira-kun's route is no longer available for you!" Aira why are you equating yourself and Hiiro as the protagonist and romantic interest of a dating sim game? Do you have anything to share with the class?)

But yeah... them (vaguely gestures with hand). They give a very strong first impression to say the least, so it's not hard to imagine how I came to ship them as quickly and as strongly as I did ahdjf

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?: God, there's so many things I like about hiiai I don't think I can ever list them or rank them, but I'll try ahdjf

For starters, I just really like their dynamic (very basic answer, I know). A thing I really love about their dynamic is how Hiiro is so openly affectionate with Aira, and I think it's cute how Aira is so tsun about his care and affection for hiro-kun, but he just can't leave him alone and thinks of him so often (he mentions him all the time in the game's home lines wwww).

Another thing I love is the way their relationship develops throughout the !! main story. How Aira stuck to him and to Alkaloid due to obligation (in order to survive as an idol in ES) but actually became attached to Hiiro and formed the unique dynamic with him where Aira feels like he can't leave Hiiro alone to prevent him from getting into trouble (and while there is truth to that, there's also the fact that just genuinely Aira loves Hiiro because the first friend he's had in a long time, and a very loyal and loving one at that). In Hiiro's case, he also got attached to Aira very quickly since he was also his very first friend on the city 🥺

In general, I love that hiiai are each other's first friends in ES when they were completely alone, and that by finding each other they found the solution to their chronic loneliness (because Aira and Hiiro both suffer a lot from severe loneliness ever since their childhoods. Aira has never been able to keep lasting friendships and Hiiro's only company in his hometown was Rinne. So them finding each other and hitting it off so quickly and easily means a lot for the both of them, and they both try their best to make the friendship work because they want to keep it and make it last, yk?)

Another facet of hiiai that I like... how Aira always teaches Hiiro new things and helps him understand the world around him. I like to think about how Aira is, literally and metaphorically, the reason Hiiro loves the city, and how that is what leads him to stay there instead of going back to his hometown with his brother (and I just sit here and wonder if the rinniki parallels were intentional from Akira's part?)

I mean literally because Aira is the one who taught Hiiro what idols are, and that was what made Hiiro realize that yes, this is something he likes and a thing he wants to do with his life. And metaphorically, because I believe that for Hiiro, Aira is a representation of the city. Aira is a city boy, he has an upbringing and worldview completely different from his. Aira grew up in a world that is completely unknown and new to Hiiro, a world in which Hiiro didn't plan on staying for long in the first place, a world that Hiiro didn't plan on getting attached to, but that he still came to like at the end — so Hiiro, by loving and accepting Aira, is metaphorically loving and embracing the city and coming to understand it*. And we know that Hiiro deciding to stay in the city and becoming an idol for real is one of the most important parts of his arc of independence and self discovery, so this gives Hiiro's relationship with Aira another layer of depth that makes their bond more important and essential for each of their characters and arcs.

*I almost forgot to clarify why I think that Hiiro coming to like the city is such a big deal (and note, this is a personal interpretation). Basically, because Hiiro was so dead set on bringing his brother back to their hometown so he could become the monarch, he was still close minded about the outside world and stuck with the old arbitrary rules taught by his hometown. But just as Rinne predicted and hoped, Hiiro ended up being marveled by the city and all the things it offers and so many things he's never seen before (and you can extrapolate that marvel he feels for the city as the marvel and interest he feels for Aira when they first meet). So just as Rinne left his hometown in favor of the city—which was a thing Hiiro didn't understand before because he didn't know what even made the city so good in the first place to make his brother want to leave—Hiiro ended up liking the city as well and choosing to stay there instead of going back home, therefore chosing his own path like Rinne.

But then again, this is just my personal interpretation of the text ahdjf

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?: I probably do, but I can't really think of one at the moment ahdjfj I guess one unpopular opinion is that I think that Aira isn't as stereotypically tsundere as people tend to depict him as in fanworks.

Don't get me wrong, Aira def is very tsun (and he is deliberately written as a stereotypical tsundere sometimes for the comedy bits and/or to make his feelings about others obvious. It might seem paradoxical, but the more tsun the acts—the biggest reaction he gets out of one of Hiiro's actions, for example—the more obvious his true feelings come across), but I also think it is often overlooked his character development in the !! MS where he grows to become more honest about his feelings and doesn't reject Hiiro's displays of affection as much and is even openly happy about them (like when he was happy that Hiiro held his hand and said it made him feel reassured). But this characterization isn't the most consistent throughout stories (and that is a thing that bothers me a little but talking about enstars' lore inconsistency is a story for another day ahdjf), so this is something very personal 😅

And that's all... thank goodness it was only 3 questions AHDJF I was hoping I'd write a short post, but it seems I *did* end up rambling about hiiai after all 😔🤙 what bring prompted to talk about the otp does to a person.

[f3mcelbambi]

ME AND BAE HUNG OUT TODAY STORYTIME

yazoo - gfs bestie camo - girl who has crush on gf

so it all started this morning at college when i decided that instead of studying in a study room, i’ll study in the main room. i can’t lie though, my decision was partly based on the fact that i had seen my gf sat in the main room but i didn’t think too much of it

i sat down and started doing my work and around 15 minutes later, i hear giggling and whispers. then all of a sudden i hear a chair scrape behind me, and lo and behold, it was GF!!

i remember her stupidly smug smile and the way she adjusted herself in her chair all awkward and nervous. a couple seats next to me i just heard an array of laughter from her friends and i felt kind of silly but i didn’t care since gf was right next to me

at first it was really awkward and she didn’t stay long. she asked me basic questions like “what work i was doing” and making jokes about how she’s gonna fail the maths test. after that she just kind of observed me for a bit and then went back to her friends

then she came back about an hour later and this time it was just me, gf, yazoo and camo. i was still studying and i remember yazoo making a joke about me and gf “being in a study club” together and i just side eyed her LMAO. gf seemed really restless and kept adjusting herself possibly because she couldn’t deal with the awkward silence. i think she wanted to make conversation but didn’t know how

at this point, she’s turned her back to me and starts playing fireboy and watergirl with camo.. an interesting watch to say the least. you could tell that gf was totally uncomfortable by her presence. she was being really blunt and monotone with her. yet camo kept touching her and being really clingy and she just looked totally stupid i couldn’t help but laugh

i really know that gf wasn’t comfortable with her because the second camo left, she eased up a lot. she was a lot more expressive and she laughed a lot it was really cute

camo actually got very jealous of the fact that me and gf were talking to each other that she tried catching gfs attention by talking to herself very loudly. and when that didn’t work, she tried interacting with me by asking if i was sad? she said i looked sad and kept bugging gf about it

as i was finishing studying, i saw in the corner of my eye yazoo looking at me and looking away, and a blue flash waving at me. i didn’t think anything of it until the blue flash landed next to my hand. it was a note. i looked up at yazoo and she gave me the heads up to open the note. gf and camo weren’t aware of this

she told me that she was sorry for calling me the n word and that she didn’t mean it. this note immediately made me smile and i don’t really know why. i wanted to keep the note but i realised i had to write a response and give it back to her, i guess we are good now

i went to get my perks of being a wallflower book and instead of just reading it in the library, i decided to go back to gf and just read it there. i knew it would get her attention and it did

for the final time, and also most interesting time, gf came to sit next to me and this is where we spoke the most. she told me that she recognised the book i was reading and was wondering where i was up to. she took the book out of my hands and skimmed over the page. she gave it back to me and told me it was gonna get better from there

she watched me read for a few minutes before she suggested we play uno. i remember how gentle yet firm her grip was on those cards. her hands were soft and the way she placed down the cards were also just as soft. i noticed that she has started picking the skin around her cuticles again so i knew something was up but i didn’t ask questions

the game was long yet i lost. i just kept picking up cards. i would love to say she is good at the game but she did make up some rules to her advantage. i remember finally getting a good look at her face and seeing how beautiful she was. especially her smile. my gaze was focused on the corner of her lips to watch her smile lines emerge. i believe that she is the most beautiful girl in the world

i remember looking at her cheek and she was flushed red. she has this smirk she does and she did it when i asked if she revised for the quiz. she said no. she tilts her head down and looks at the ground and smirks. she’s so quiet and shy around me and i wonder why that is

she got up to use the toilet and camo followed and in the mean time i decided to order her uno cards by colour and number and i took this picture

she spent so long in the bathroom that it was time for lesson, maths. i set down her uno cards on her desk and we went back to being strangers

[scumbagjaeger]

Rating: 18+! mdni

Me waking up at 5am with the most depraved thoughts about Jean, Connie and Sasha in a college AU that I will be turning into a full fic, here’s the rundown

Starts with Jean/Sasha with a dash of Jean/Connie/Sasha, and then ends with just Connie/Sasha, they’re endgame sorry not sorry (I love Springles) (it’s just because my friends tell me I’m just like Sasha and I am a fiend for Constance Springer)

First of all, you already know that they were all friends in high school, none of that awkward first meeting in History 101 thing

They can’t even remember how they met but Connie and Jean were those middle school bros with the snapbacks and jailbroken phones

Jean was asked to show Sasha around when she moved from the countryside in their freshman year of high school

Okay so now in college basically they all have the plan to just get laid as much as possible

Jk but they just want to party and be part of the crazy college scheme that they used to spend HOURS talking about in high school

“Guys… would you ever smoke weed?” —Jean at one point

Sorry this is still background but like I always imagine them growing up Midwest? I wanna say Chicago but deep down I’m thinking they grew up in like St Paul and they were all fairly sheltered oop

They go to college in Chicago for the big city life and they all apply together and they cry when they all get accepted

So yeah they’re trying to be adults now they rule!!!1!!! It’s so cheesy but they are 18 and suddenly they are like wow this adult thing is pretty nice 😎

Connie is kind of the rizzler?? No shock there but he is actually bringing so many women back to his and Jean’s dorm

The forms I had in college would be two bedrooms (with two beds each) and then a shared bathroom/fridge space?? So Connie and Jean are roommates and Marco is their suite mate in the other bedroom

Jean ends up having to stay with their suite-mate Marco because Marco’s roommate ended up dropping out after a day

Connie inadvertently cock blocks his friends but other while they’d pull as well??

Sorry Jean plays the sweet-romance game because he thinks he’s going to fall in love at a college party the first week 💀 and Connie swoops in making these ladies die laughing

He’s also just super affectionate with Sasha too like she’ll be rizzing up some guy and he’ll swing an arm around her waist “Sash we gotta host parties when we get our house together!!!”

He just means next year, the three of them plan on getting a townhouse together, but it’s enough to scare away the guy Sasha was talking to :(

At one point they have a mini intervention where they’re like “bro how do you do it????” And Connie’s like “what can I say, a rizzler’s gotta rizz 😎🥵”

I don’t think there would be much sexual interest or jealousy between any of them because they’re besties

Maybe in high school they had that drama about liking each other but they’re 18 now?? High school was so last year they are ADULTS remember

But idk maybe Sasha makes a comment about Connie cockblocking her, just an innocent joke, and he lowkey gets offended? “Damn my bad, I’ll let you cook next time ig”

So at the next party, Sasha meets Niccolo and of course they hit it off and Connie’s like okay why is this bothering me who gives a fuck, he ends up bringing a girl back to his dorm anyway so who cares LOL not that guy

Oh I forgot to say this but when Jean brings someone home Connie goes to Sasha’s and they literally share her tiny ass twin bed, usually drunk and watching some movie on her laptop, Ymir is normally in Historia’s room anyway so it works (but Ymir and Connie are homies too so she dgaf)

Anyway after her and Niccolo hook up, Sasha is super bummed?? The three of them are hanging out on campus and she’s like “yeah idk I thought we had something but our conversations just kind of fizzled out :(“

And Connie laughs? He’s like “lmao wait you talk to these people after you hook up with them??”

He explains that the whole point is that you go into it not expecting to ever see them again, that’s how he can be so bold with his flirting/jokes. It’s a HOOK UP not a MARRIAGE

And Jean kind of defends Sasha because he is also a big romantic and is constantly getting his hopes up? Poor guy

So one thing leads to another and (completely sober) Jean and Sasha decide they’re going to hook up???

It’s so awkward when they talk about it lol. Sasha’s like “man wtf how does Connie just not develop feeling for the girls he’s sleeping with” and Jean’s like “right that’s insane we should like, hook up and see” (totally joking) and Sasha’s like “omg yeah good one”

For half of their conversation, Jean can’t tell if she’s just going along with the joke

But it does make sense to them?? Like they will go to the party with Connie who will inevitably bring someone back to their dorm, and Jean and Sasha can pretend like they’ve just met and that they’re hooking up, then in the morning they go back to being friends

Unrelated but they’ve all definitely talked about their kinks before and Sasha hits Jean with the “S-step bro” and he whimpers

Also unrelated but Connie thought that the “Step bro, I’m stuck” things were the funniest shit in the world but that’s when they discovered Jean is bisexual, Jean included lol

Anyway the sex is good?? They are already so comfortable with each other, Jean makes sure Sasha is comfortable and that things feel good, she lowkey helps him with how to eat a girl out properly lol

Also Sasha has insane bedroom eyes and she doesn’t even know it? Her sex faces are unreal. Jean’s fucking her missionary style and he’s like “—this good?” And she lets out a breathy “Yeah, fuck, like that—” and he is like “bro don’t look at me like that or I’ll cum”

Afterwards Jean asks if they can cuddle and she’s like “wtf no? We’re supposed to not make thing a thing, we’re just friends again” and Jean is like “but we’d cuddle when we’re friends. We literally cuddled last week” and she’s like “damn you’re right okay c’mere”

The next morning Sasha’s like “omg! We did that! And I don’t want to do it again” and Jean’s like “wait WHAT” like he’s worried she had a bad experience and she’s like “No no no like I WOULD do it again but I don’t want to like date you!!” And he’s like “oh, good!!! Me too!!” And they high five

Jean goes to his dorm and Connie’s not there but Marco is and he’s like “Marco, I slept with Sasha and we don’t want to do it again 😎” and he’s like “what the fuck?”

Jean and Marco are also on the extremely slowburn train to romance-ville but until then they’re just homies, each other’s confidants

Marco tells Jean “I don’t know how you could hook up with anyone at all? Don’t you want the intimacy and love that comes with being with one person?” Because Marco doesn’t join in on their schemes, he also came from a sheltered childhood but he’s just so honest and sweet and we love our sweet boy

Of course Jean wants that too! He’s just a dumb idiot who thinks with his dick too much(‘: but someday he will learn and Marco will be there for him

Anyway idk about anyone else’s college experience but we had like four different card game variants of like “drink if you have the most unopened emails” or “drink if you are the last person to put your finger on your nose”

So of course they play that one time in Sasha’s room with their friends

“Drink if you’ve slept with someone else in this room” and everyone’s laughing, of course Eren and Mikasa drink, and Ymir and Historia drink, but then Jean takes a sip and it’s like SILENT

And Connie’s like “HEADASS get outta here, your fantasies don’t count” and Jean is looking at Sasha like bro help me

So then she takes a drink

And everyone is like hooting and hollering, but now Connie is silent

Jean’s laughing and telling them “yeah it was just a one time thing lol we’re just friends”

He’s lowkey hurt that they didn’t tell him?? He thinks it happened in like high school or something

They notice he’s upset and they end up confronting him after he avoids them bc we know Connie can’t deal with his emotions xoxo

“I just can’t believe you guys had sex without me??” He means without TELLING me but he’s upset yk. And Sasha’s like “well fine do you want to have sex with us?”

And it’s silent for like four minutes. Also they’re eating lunch in like Burger King so Jean’s mouth is full of a whopper burger as Sasha says this and he just freezes, and then slowly continues to eat

I feel like Connie is straight/has a strong preference towards women, but the idea of fucking a woman with another guy he’s totally down for yk, he’s definitely comfortable with himself and open to experimenting but something about Jean fucking THEIR friend Sasha fires him up??

He’s still the most experienced out of the three of them, never in a threesome but has watched enough of them lol, he even did extra research to prepare omg

He strokes himself off underneath Sasha, who’s being fucked by Jean

And Connie’s an ass? Talking to them like a little shit. “So this is how you did it without me last time, huh? I missed out on all this fun?”

I’ll save the big details for the fic so you have to read it sorry xoxo, but let’s say Jean ends up fucking Sasha’s mouth while Connie switches and begins fucking her? Like your classic Eiffel Tower shit

They definitely high five while fucking Sasha lol but she’s also loving it we know she’s a freak

I bet Connie would feel this weird possession about fucking Sasha? Like he sees how wet she got from cumming with Jean’s cock inside her and he’s like well we gotta out do this, I gotta show her how good I’m gonna make her feel

No warning just immediately rams himself into her, her gasp barely audible around Jean’s cock

And this is when he starts to like “hm I could get used to this”, just an idle thought he brushes off as he slaps her ass, grabbing the fat of it afterwards to thrust deeper into her

I bet they talked about it before, but Connie definitely is all “You gonna let me cum inside you, huh, Sash? Gonna be a good girl and let me fill you up?”

Jean’s already came in her mouth and he’s holding her, petting her hair and playing with her tits as she cries out, nodding and turning back to look at him

I bet Sasha’s fucked out expression is what sends him over the edge

They end up all passed out next to each other with Sasha in the middle, they’re too sweaty and gross to be comfortable but they promise to help wash the sheets and clean up/get breakfast in the morning

But somehow Connie and Sasha both wake up in the middle of the night (she elbows him accidentally), and before they go back to sleep he’s just kind of like, wait wait

And he slips a hand in her underwear just to feel the mess of his cum leaking into her underwear

Omg he’d slip a finger inside her, trying to push it into her again (fuck I love Connie too much someone needs to put me in horny jail)

She’d just kind of whine quietly, half asleep but wrapping her arm around him and shuffling closer, carefully spreading her legs further

He’d finger her for a little bit but her whines and noises start to get too loud, they’re too lazy to move to the bathroom or something so they put a pin in it

Connie does tilt Sasha’s jaw towards him and kisses her though? It’s like the first time he’s ever kissed a girl after sex so it’s kind of startling to him, it just seems too romantic and he can’t possibly feeling this towards his best pal Sasha??

But Sasha’s kissed guys after sex so she’s like whatever lol gnight dude

Things are fine between the three of them because Connie just compartmentalizes his emotions and Jean and Sasha have already fucked

But now when they talk about going to parties, Connie doesn’t really want to hook up with random girls anymore? And he gets pissy when Sasha mentions bringing a guy back to her place

But also Sasha picks up on that and she doesn’t even seem to care about the guys she’s hooking up with?? Jean can see it SO CLEARLY she’s using these other guys to distract herself from Connie

One day Jean shows up at Sasha’s door and is like “so when did you start liking Connie?”

Ends with Sasha crying to Jean about how she doesn’t know? He had a thing for her in their sophomore year of high school? They were each others first kisses? She even had a thing for him once in their senior year, but this is DIFFERENT she knows it’s going to ruin their friendship

Literally Ymir and Historia are there because they were just giving her shit for this too but now they’re comforting her

Jean just had the EXACT SAME conversation with Connie, even with the same tears, and Eren and Mikasa there to comfort him LMAO

But Jean doesn’t say anything about that, he just says she should talk to him about it (just like he told Connie to do) and she’s like lol NO

A couple days later though Connie says the most OUTTA pocket thing?? Something about a girlfriend??

In my mind it’s always Mina just because but idk we’ll see

Connie in an attempt to evade the confrontation of talking to Sasha about his feelings has decided that burying them deep inside himself is the way to go

And Sasha literally texts Jean and is like SEE?!???? He doesn’t like me it’s fine this is fine 🥲

And Jean is like THESE TWO DUMBASSES WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Cue him and Marco having to play matchmaker, maybe even fall in love themselves while they’re at it 😗

Idk how it’s gonna end ngl but if you stuck around this long you should tell me your thoughts via reply or ask

[demonstars]

BASICALLY ryden was like . my main bandom space and like. only in getting older am i appreciating the insanities of petekey and others but like. ryden was CRAZY they were BEST FRIENDS they hung out all the time they had this whole bit on stage where brendon would almost kiss ryan while monologuing about meeting your lover and leaning in 'for that perfect, passionate kiss' and the band and their touring band and some crew went to myrtle beach and ryan made this fucking livejournal poetry post that is so fucking famous and you have to look it up but it FAMOUSLY contains the line 'you don't have to love me. you already did. at least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia. it's for lovers (orjustfriends) this is why i do it' and their next album after that tour was going to be this concept love story that they eventually scrapped (cabin album my cabin album) and then they wrote pretty odd and that album was just. full of love. and love in the summer and NORTHERN DOWNPOUR. a song brendon famously Cannot sing live like. has choked up singing it live. after an INTERVIEW where ryan and brendon broke down the songs and ryan was like 'i told him to pay special attention to the line 'i know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches call it home'' and GUESS WHICH LINE? BRENDON STARTS CRYING ON? WHEN HE SANG IT LIVE AFTER THE BREAKUP anYWAY the album after the breakup is full of all this like . breakup music and ur like ok fine but it's like . messy i still love you but i'm spiteful but when i think of summer i think of us breakup songs and some of them fucking interpolate PETE'S LIVEJOURNAL POETRY about perceived summer of like stuff it's all just SO . and like. THEY WERE BEST FUCKING FRIENDS they did so much together and now they don't even acknowledge the other in literally any context. ALSO ??? there was a STALKER that got ryan's number and messaged him pretending to be brendon for a while and it was so sick and it was confirmed because ryan's MANAGER AT THE TIME made a statement about it but the stalker basically messaged ryan talking about like, wanting to reconnect and missing him and all this shit and ryan was fully reciprocating the sentiments and the stalker ALSO INVITED RYAN TO BRENDON'S WEDDING ???? and ryan was like 'yeah i'd love to be there please let me know' and the stalker fucking posted the conversations online w people to be like 'awe how cute look at ryan missing brendon' never mind brendon literally got married and hadn't invited ryan and ryan thought he had ? and then after it all came out that it was a stalker ryan posted all this really upsetting stuff and ppl were like . genuinely worried about his well being . anyway they haven't publicly interacted in YEARS except they randomly got invited to the same halloween party a couple years ago and brendon spoke about it in a radio interview. later on in that interview he talked about wanting to make out w ryan gosling. when he was in the airport some paparazzi approached him like 'hey have u reached out to ryan' and brendon thought they were tlaking about ryan ross so he started talking about ryan ross and then the paparazzi were like 'so how... how would the makeout go?' and brendon's entire face dropped he was like 'oH RYAN GOSLING OH LMAO' and had a very Not Normal reaction . anyway .

ryan had his 21st birthday in new york at a club w his girlfriend and all of their of age friends (brendon is a year younger) and tHAT NIGHT was spotted having dinner w brendon in seattle in the SAME FUCKING CLOTHES HE'D WORN TO HIS PARTY . only known because a fan captured a photo with them and was like 'omg i just met brendon and ryan in seattle' and everyone was like ??? what the fuck ? and then northern downpour has the lyrics 'i missed your skin when you were east, you clicked your heels and wished for me' . lots of weird seattle lore.

there's so much more. there's so much . bestie . oh myfucking go d. they were crazy . normal weird crazy insane boy best friends that don't talk anymore and someone on twitter once asked what ryan thought of brendon and he answered 'he's my boy. always will be.' and it literally makes me sick to my stomach ok i'm done this is wildly incoherent bye <3 oh my god i just scrolled back this is. horrible . this is a scattered fraction of what ryden was up to . i can't be coherent about them. they makey me crazy :(

no actually i have to add that they had a . pete patrick dynamic where ryan wrote lyrics and brendon did music like. ryan was main contributor for all lyric stuff and how fucking sick is it that brendon got famous off RYAN pouring his emo teenage heart out and brendon has taken HIS BAND and driven it into the fucking ground and killed it. TOOK HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND! SPENCER AND RYAN GREW UP TOGETHER ON THE SAME FUCKING STREET WHAT DO YOU MEAN BRENDON GOT HIM IN THE DIVORCE ? BRENDON WAS AT HIS WEDDING AND NOT RYAN ? i'm . i'm gonna send you the rolling stones interview moment . crazy shit

ok sorry bye <3

this is fucking crazy. I literally feel like this was getting hit after hit and you tell me this is something you guys walk around knowing and have to live with.

[masquerain-with-a-mask]

Ok I'm gonna talk about another one of my aus but this au is like

Complete crack but treated seriously

I call it the Brackenfur is Squirrelflight au

BASICALLY, THIS AU CAME FROM ME AND SOME OF MY FRIENDS RANTING ABOUT LEAFPOOL'S WISH CAUSE THIS BOOK SUCKS AND WE WENT "well thank god firestar agreed for squirrelflight to go with leafpool, imagine if it had been someone else instead." And that's where I came in and said "yeah imagine if like Brackenfur had replaced Squirrelflight."

And there you go.

(this art is old af)

I'll only be going over the events of Leafpool's Wish here cause the au actually goes all the way to the end of Po3.

First of all, BrambleSquirrel and BrackenSorrel are not a thing anymore. It's for the plot I'm not sorry.

So, Leafpool still makes up the "yo starclan told me i need to find a special plant can i go" sign and firestar is like "ok but take brackenfur with you plz" and Leafpool (an empath), sensing she doesn't have much of a choice, agrees.

The two of them leave ThunderClan but to make things more logical they leave way earlier than in canon so that way Leafpool pregnancy is at least less noticeable because I do think that ThunderClan cats do have at least half a brain, at least some of them.

During the trip, Brackenfur doesn't notice it at first and Leafpool spends the entire beginning of the trip being like "when he finds me out me and my kits are dead." She doesn't think he's going to hurt her or the kits cause that's still BRACKENFUR we're talking about but she does think that he will tell the clan when they come back and she really doesn't want that.

Skipping some things but basically Leafpool's pregnancy starts showing more and more but like, Brackenfur still seems completely oblivious to it, until they meet Yew (yes, the loner/kittypet from Crowfeather's Trial, he's there because you have no idea how much I love him)

Brackenfur gets defensive and tells him to get away and Yew is like "bestie I'm not gonna fight either of you also you might wanna be careful cause that mate of yours is kinda pregnant." and Brackenfur goes "this isn't my mate and the fact she's pregnant is literally the reason i wants you to leave" which makes Leafpool go "excuse me what" to which Brackenfur answers "yk it was kinda obvious" and Yew nods in the background

Leafpool goes "hold on i need to sit down a minute" and Yew just go do his own thing meanwhile Brackenfur stays with Leafpool.

While Yew is away, Brackenfur and Leafpool have a conversation after Leafpool pulls herself together and it basically goes "wait so you knew i was pregnant and didn't wish doom upon my entire family?" "yeah lmao" and Yew comes back not long after with something to eat.

After Yew convince them that the food is not poisoned and they're all done eating, when Leafpool and Brackenfur are about to leave, Yew goes "can i come with you, to help you with the labor i mean" which makes both Leafpool and Brackenfur ask him "why tf would you that" to which Yew answers "idk i fed you already and i don't have anything else to do" so they agree and Yew joins them in their traveling.

In this au i cut out entirely the fox sideplot because it was completely unnecessary no i will not take criticism.

At some point Yew leaves to get something to eat and so does Brackenfur as well as getting something for Leafpool, he catches a shrew and they talk. This talk is about what the fuck are they gonna do once they get back to the clans. That's where the crack comes in because they think that pretending that Brackenfur - who is cis in this au just to be clear - gave birth to the kits is the only possibility. Yew comes back and they explain their plan to him. He thinks it's the worst idea they could have possibly come up with but he decides to be supportive of his dumbass clan besties because "clan cats are insane anyways"

Comes the moment where Leafpool gives birth, the small party is caught in a snowstorm and hides in a log. I will not write the actual birth scene because it will suck if I do. And also there is no StarClan showing up after Leafpool gave birth because what the actual fuck was that about lmao.

So after the kits are born they name them. First is lionblaze, which i'm thinking of naming something with a link to fire.

Then there's hollyleaf, which brackenfur and leafpool both agree to call yewkit, after yew. Yew thinks this is cheesy af and is kind of embarrassed but they both insist on naming her that, saying that this is the least they can do to thank him for what they've done for them.

And jayfeather is still named jaykit cause i don't have any other name idea.

Afterwards they need to head back to the clan and so they part ways with yew, thanking him again for all he's done for them, to which he says that he's always glad to be of help. That's around where Leafpool's Wish ends but we're not stopping here.

While they are off traveling, squirrelflight is woken up by ashfur for dawn patrol, they have a civil conversation because ashfur isn't a creep in this au 😳 (this role goes to someone else and i think that ashfur's monologue is way funnier with this character)

The patrol takes off and, surprise surprise, they stumble upon Leafpool and Brackenfur with 3 kits. They're happy to see them but also extremely confused. and take the both of them back to camp. Squirrelflight tries to squeeze info out of them but they say that they'll explain everything when they get to the camp.

They get back, and everyone is happy to see them back but also extremely weirded out by the kits. Firestar goes "where are these kits from? weren't y'all supposed to bring back a plant or something?" To which Leafpool goes "yeah but you see the plant was a metaphor actually and those kits are the plant" which she knows is probably the worst thing she could have said but she panicked and said whatever came to mind.

Firestar goes "oh okay, doesn't answer my first question tho" and Brackenfur steps up saying "yeah so uh the kits are mine. i gave birth to them and am 100% their biological father"

Leafpool and Brackenfur both realize how shitty of an explanation that actually is and that this plan will never work when brackenfur says it aloud in front of the whole clan.

That is until someone in the crowd goes "WAIT YOU WERE PREGNANT AND DIDN'T TELL ME??" and that someone reveals themself to be Brambleclaw because bracken and bramble have been pining on each other for a while and became mates not long before this whole thing because why tf not. So basically Bramble thinks the kits are his and Brackenfur just goes "YEAH. TOTALLY. THEY'RE TOTALLY YOURS." and everyone just buys it.

Leafpool is relieved and thinks i can't believe that actually worked and you know that brackenfur is thinking the exact same thing.

And while the kits are taken away so a queen can nurse them Leafpool and Brackenfur just think this is just the beginning of trouble isn't it

AND THAT'S IT FOR THIS AU WOOHOO

I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS POST FOR OVER A YEAR

[zonerz]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by da bestie @a-problematic-writer for this !!!!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

There's 14 atm!!!

What's your total AO3 word count?

Sitting at 569,356 rn :] thank u Answers LMAO 😭

What fandoms do you write for?

MCSM, Sonic, Kingdom Hearts, and anything that catches my fancy and eye in the meantime! Basically whatever! Also got some FF and Danganronpa peeking in :]

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Answers, Would You Like To Dance, MCSM Prompts/Drabbles, Demyx Drabbles oop-- 😳, Sonic and the Black Knight? More likeSonic and a Lot of Trauma

Do you respond to comments?

Yes all the time and all of them!!! I love interacting with readers and having conversations!!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the SatBK one LMAO sorry my beloved. Maybe I LIED HOW COULD I FORGET. ALVI. IT'S THIS ONE.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Im honestly not sure??? They all, despite having their angst, tend to end on some hopeful notes or some kinda resolution 🤔it's also kinda hard to judge tho bc a lot are just drabbles and little thought experiments for me :]

Do you get hate on fics?

I've had the pleasure of not yet encountering any!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not my thing! I can barely write two characters holding hands without feeling like a whore LMFAOOOOO

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not typically where I specialize!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of 😭👍

What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

ANSWERS. MY GOD. I've been working on Answers since December of 2018 and she's still going and gonna be 5 years old soon which is CRAZYYYYYY 😭😭😭 That said, I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm still very excited for it and the future of it as I'm FINALLY getting into some of the meat of it that's been on the docket since 2018 :]

As for shortest, I'm pretty capable of getting a fairly long drabble out in just a few hours, so that'd probably be the shortest time I have.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not on Ao3!

What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms?

I can't easily pick one but I do feel like Sonic and Shadow's dynamic has like. rewired my brain LMAO

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

the Demyx Drabbles mentioned earlier. Mainly because they were a set of character explorations and a lot of my own ideas and thoughts have changed pretty drastically from when I started writing those, so I've lost the idea spark on that line of thinking. Im still COMPLETELY unwell about that little weirdo, but in a different flavor now

What are your writing strengths?

Character relationships, motives, and dialogue and maybe a bit of ilke??? Atmosphere????? I do my best to write it well at the very least!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Action sequences are always a fucking bitch bro 😭 same with like physical descriptions and scenery--I don't know if it comes across like that but I always put in extra effort and time to refine these aspects before putting something out because I want them to be the best I can make them at the time 👍

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm open to it but personally would like to have a little familiarity with the language and its nuances myself before attempting too much lest I fall into the trap of like. Google translate ruining shit 😭

First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic!

Favorite fic you've written?

Answers is VERY much my pride and joy rn :] to me it's more than just an MCSM fic/continuation, it is 100% a love letter to MC as a whole which was just huge to me growing up. I've completely thrown myself into all corners of it's world and lore as well as throw in fun little references from things I loved over the years and done my best to stir them all together in a way that feels naturally cohesive, fun, and semi-realistic in a way that doesn't like snap a reader out of their suspension of disbelief! I want it to be engaging and natural and overall just a fun experience :] 💖

I can't think of anyone to tag rn (brain so so empty) so if anyone wants to take a stab at this go ahead!!! :]

[tending-the-hearth]

finally got around to typing up my thoughts on Stranger Sings because even though y'all are probably sick of me talking about the show and don't care i still want to talk about it <3

obligatory tags for my bestie @storyweaverofgondor

ok so starting off with the double/triple tracks! this took me a second to figure out, but i think i've got everyone:

Steve, Jonathan, and Brenner (he was my favorite part of the entire show kyle mangold my beloved)

Lucas, Erica, and Demogorgon

Hopper and Mr. Clark (and i THINK he also played Mrs. Wheeler which was... absolutely hilarious)

Joyce and Will (and also one of the Russians)

Nancy, Eleven, and Robin

act 1:

i mentioned it before but Will is a muppet

Hopper kept trying to sing his Emo Song about losing his daughter but kept getting cut off

Jonathan

Just Jonathan

He took a picture of me and I could not stop laughing because he was just being The Most

Barb!!!!!!!!!! I think she’s purposefully supposed to be the best singer lmao

Barb after Nancy leaves with Steve: Nancy’s kind of a bitch, right? Didn’t expect me to say that, did you?

Steve. His wig, his costume, his mannerisms, I love him dearly

Lucas was absolutely perfect

He’s so rational and wonderful ily

he interacted the most with the audience and was amazing

The demogorgon was absolutely hysterical for no reason

Joyce had a number called “Crazy” and the cast members came out dressed as Beetlejuice, Amy March, Heather Chandler, and Edward Scissorhands

Someone went to the restroom in the middle of the show after Joyce's song and Joyce said “did you see that? Am I losing my mind?”

The fourth wall breaks were so funny

Hopper broke character during his first scene bc he was laughing at Joyce

i haven't mentioned the wigs but the wigs are PERFECTION and are the most dramatic things

The demogorgon had a dance number to Thriller

I saw the demogorgon walking out and started laughing, and they waved at me

The finale of Act 1 is so good???????

act 2:

Like this show has no reason to be this good?????

SAILOR STEVE SAILOR STEVE

AND ROBIN MY WIFE

Steve and Dustin have the cutest song to open Act 2, and Max, Chrissy, and Mrs. Wheeler cameo in the song

Mike, Dustin, and Lucas call Steve dad at the end, 10/10

Barb dates the demogorgon good for her

Basically combines season 1 and season 2

Lucas’ actor plays Kali and is the funniest person

"Lucas’ actor also played Erica, iconic

"you can't spell America without Erica" 10/10 line delivery

Brenner was the funniest part of the show oh my god

I got waves from Steve and Hopper 🥰

Also I kept making eye contact with Steve and i have never known the true meaning of “giggling blushing twirling my hair” until he looked at me

if it isn't already obvious i'm in love with kyle mangold his steve is so babygirl

The Party (sans El) is running away from the Russians and they started playing “running up that hill”

STEVE SAID THE “ALWAYS THE GODDAM BABYSITTER LINE”

HE ALSO CALLED MIKE DUSTIN AND LUCAS HIS NUGGETS I'M GOING TO DIE

The final battle was a dance battle between El and the demogorgon

Listen it was played as a joke but Dustin talks about how his dad is an asshole in the first act before El's song about wanting a dad and then at the end of act 2 he sings about how he’s found a dad in Steve and I’m 🥺

And El sings about how she just wants a dad who will say he’s proud of her and that’s what Hopper says after the final fight 🥺

also just a few of my favorite lines:

Joyce: oh great, a teenager! Steve: hi! Joyce: can you watch these children while Hopper and I go into an alternate dimension and leave you all behind and hopefully come back safe?

Jonathan: i have to go Nancy: but you just got here! Jonathan: I’m an INFP and this conversation is stressing me out