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#this was just the introduction
mizuski-broken · 14 days
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A Fitpac pirate AU where Fit is a rugged old pirate captain, And Pac is a renowned thief running away from the law (The Federation)
Ft. Richas, Ramon, and many other QSMP characters
"sooo... How long will this take again?"
Pac clicked his tongue.
"Paciência, Richas. You need to learn patience"
Richarlyson made an offended noise at that but Pac continued on before he could complain.
"And anyways- looking for the right ship in our field of work takes a lot of effort, you know? It's not like the perfect vessel is going to suddenly roll ou-"
"I see a ship coming in right over there, actually" Richas interrupted smugly, peeking his eyes over the edge of the barrel he was hiding in, which Pac was resting one elbow on.
Pac sighed in amused exasperation.
"You know that's not what I meant Richinhas! Besides, you're not supposed to be seeing anything right now! You're going to get caught!" he hissed.
Richarlyson reluctantly lowered himself back down.
"What am I even here for if I can't look for ships, anyways?" he said, probably pouting.
(not that Pac would really know. He was taking great care not to look at the barrel while they were talking. He had standards after all).
"You're here because once we find a ship, I'm going to need to get you on it. Also, just sitting on a dockyard for hours looking for a crew that would take a pretty well known thief is boring"
He wasn't lying there. Even with the pretty view of the sparking ocean and the wooden barges and schooners and all the other typical 1700s vessels coming in and out of the busy seaside town, it could get old pretty fast.
"Thieves. Plural. There's two of us now" Richas said, using his cute little offended voice again.
"I said well known Richas. I hate to break it to you, but no one's going to recognize the little poofy-haired brazillian kid that just so happened to be around my last couple hiests"
He groaned dramatically
"whatever, why are we even going on a trip to nowhere anyways!!! I like it here!"
"Oh come on! Where's your spirit of adventure! Of freedom! We're going on a trip to see the world, Richarlyson!!!"
"more like because you're seriously broke..." He muttered.
"OI! Cálmate, Richas! Or I'll send you back to the orphanage cellar where I found you!" Pac snickered as he elbowed the barrel beside him.
"Hey!!!" He tried to act offended at that too, but after a second he started quietly laughing along with his dad.
...Richas wasn't wrong though. The royal guard here were getting too used to his regular schemes. They needed to find a new stomping ground if they were to continue making money.
"Alright fiiineeeee, so where are we going to find this magical ship that's supposed to take us away on a magical adventure"
"You can stop saying the word magical now, there's nothing magical about pirates"
Richas gasped. "PIRATES??!??!?????"
"Oi!! Keep it down, will you!" Pac hissed again.
"Yes, pirates. I told you, there's not many crews that would take on a known thief. What were you expecting?"
"But what if they kill us! What they rob us and then tear out our innards before feeding us to sharks!!!" Richarlyson whisper-screamed.
"That's why we're sneaking you on board. Even though pirates usually don't hurt anyone who treats them well, I'd rather not take my chances.
...Also, you have a terrifyingly bloody imagination"
He huffed irritatedly at that.
"Ok, fine, so how do we find this still magical pirate ship to take us out into the middle of nowhere?"
"I'm glad you asked Richas! Pirate ships are usually built for speed and ability to traverse shallower waters, to outrun the law and catch other ships along the coast! Also, they remodel it so there's an entire flat deck just for guns, and more room for cargo. And usually they're a bit more... uhh... Messy than your usual navy or merchant ship" he rambled, ignoring the 'Middle of Nowhere' comment again.
"Okay, so how long are we going to wait to for a ship that looks like that"
Pac considered for a moment, looking out at the docks while he worked it out in his head. "... probably a couple days at least..." Before a galleon at the other end of the dock finally pulled out, revealing a truly ugly midsized sloop vessel behind it, almost entirely patched-together looking except for the shining guns on all sides and the nameplate at the stern, which read
"The Shitshack"
Pac slowly began to grin.
"Actually,
I think we've already found one"
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maxiemumdamage · 3 months
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Alastor being all “Charlie is like a daughter to me!” when in fact their relationship is usually polite antagonism at best is so damn funny to me. Like he never even really believed in Charlie’s ambitions, he was at the Hotel for laughs, but then an opportunity falls into his lap to taunt Lucifer in emotionally damaging ways and get away with it and he ran.
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tanglepelt · 12 days
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Dpxdc 180
Did Danny abuse the fact the GIW needed his parents tech. Yes of course. Danny not phantom seemed to be the trouble maker as of late. His parent threatened to withhold tech and blue prints from them if the GIW touched their kids.
Did he get caught breaking ember and boxy out of a government facility? yes. He expected the lecture he got.
The next jail break. It was not him. It was sam, Then the third. Also not him. That was Val… then it was Tucker. But not him.
The blame fell on him.
He did not expect to be shipped out of state. The GIW were happy to cover all costs. Even got him into a decent highschool. And had an apartment all arranged.
Gotham?
Not where he was expecting.
The assassination attempts. Also surprising.
Not so surprising. Tucker found out the GIW wanted to “silence” him. Offering a lot of money.
Of course his parents don’t listen. He is 15 perfectly fine to be all alone. Even if he is near some place with the nickname crime alley. Nope. He is just being dramatic. They tell him no one wants him dead.
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ghelgheli · 2 months
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Often when trans women ask me when I'm performing next, and I tell them that it's a queer/trans event, they will tell me that they'd rather not go because they do not feel comfortable or safe in those spaces, that they have been dismissed or belittled at such events before. Even trans women who are dyke- or bisexual- identified often don't feel welcome or relevant in queer/trans spaces. And whenever a trans woman or ally points out aspects about the queer/ trans community that contribute to these feelings of irrelevancy and disrespect—such as the way our community coddles those who support trans-woman-exclusionist events or who make trans-misogynistic comments—we are described as being "divisive." This use of the word "divisive" is particularly telling, as it implies that "queer/trans" represents a uniform movement or community—a "oneness"—rather than an alliance where all voices are respected.
Julia Serano, Whipping Girl. Published 2007.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 days
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An unbothered queen has entered, and subsequently left.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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yayarson · 9 months
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Little sketch of my favoriteee knuckleheads
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Zoro is trying to be polite hehe
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spidermansona · 4 months
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Thinking about how the fandom just turns Merry into a stoner when he's one of the most observant and smart characters. He knew about the ring before even Frodo did. He was the leader of the conspiracy to help Frodo leave the Shire gathering supplies and getting things ready, all without Frodo's knowledge. He liked maps and boats (pretty unusual for Shire hobbits) and is much more than just the guy who smokes a pipe.
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bishy437 · 8 months
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Modern Hualian Reunion???
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just xie lian things <3
i badly doodled some of the convo me (blue) and my friend (grey) were having abt hualian
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rintoki · 8 months
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untitled
characters: neuvillette x dom!reader
cw: handjob, neuvillette’s inexperienced, mentions of pee LMAO (very briefly), ambiguous relationship, also in his office lol
a/n: couldn’t think of a title, sorry for any mistakes i’ll correct them later on too lazy too proofread rn
thinking about neuvillette exploring human emotions with you. happiness, sadness, heartache, yearning; he begins to understand them, experiencing them with you. you listen to him, trying to articulate what he’s feeling and then patiently explaining it to him each time.
but now he’s experiencing a completely different feeling; one that he can’t quite place. almost like discomfort, and at times it makes it hard to breathe, but somehow he doesn’t dislike it. he can feel it in his chest, his muscles, and his thoughts are sometimes spiralling out of control whenever he looks at you. as he tries to focus on your face, the urges he feels to drag his eyes down your form are almost carnal.
eventually when he can no longer take it, when he feels these desires may cause him to act in a way he fears may be unbefitting of him, does the chief justice confide in you. but neuvillette is an intelligent man; he isn’t completely clueless about human mating processes, and he’s keenly of how his lower half reacts to you.
but as is his nature, he needs to be sure. even when you’re sitting in front of him, patiently waiting to hear what he has to say, he feels the urges in his body, the yearning to be closer to yours and the thoughts that run rampant wondering about how your hands might feel. on his chest or along his waist, on his hips or around his—
neuvillette catches himself before his thoughts get out of control again, a small flush overtaking his cheeks as he clears his throat; thankfully you were in the privacy of his office. but he refocuses his mind, thinking over what he wants to say to you in a way that you can understand, and doesn’t make you uncomfortable.
the expression on your face remains neutral as he speaks, even as he describes how his body starts to feel hot, and how his thoughts often take on a more lewd direction, however, choosing to omit the fact that you are the subject of his desires. neuvillette feels an uncharacteristic lump in his throat, something he now recognises as nervousness as he awaits your response.
but you smile kindly, “it’s natural for humans to feel sexual desires to those they find attractive, even if the intention is not to ‘mate’ or create offspring. if such desires are reciprocated, then humans often have sex simply for pleasure.”
neuvillette feels heat creep up his neck, almost sure that it’ll reach his cheeks soon enough. your explanation was one he expected, however, the reaction his body has to listening to you say it outright was not something he could control. the idea of sex with you now planted in his head as you observe his reaction, thankfully able to keep his face as stoic as ever.
“monsieur neuvillette, are you feeling such desires towards someone?”
“… yes. it seems that, recently, i have started to feel this way towards you.”
the silence that ensues was quite deafening. the both of you staring at the other as your brain processes what the man in front of you just said. meanwhile, neuvillette isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be feeling now, merely awaiting a response from you. if you were to feel the same desires as him, he supposes that you two will… proceed with what you had described earlier.
“monsieur neuvillette—”
“please, just neuvillette.” his voice is unusually soft, almost unsure now. your relationship has always been a little bit ambiguous; from the start the man has always expressed an interest towards you that you have explained to seem romantic, however neither of you have ever officially declared to be lovers.
“neuvillette,” you stood from your seat, taking steps towards him as you spoke, “do i make you aroused?”
“i, i believe that is the case,” the blush that covers neuvillette’s face was immediate, eyes widening slightly at your direct question as he swallows unconsciously. his voice is soft as he tries not to be overly conscious of the distance you closed between you two, now just a step away from him with his desk right behind him.
unfortunately for him, you take yet another step forward, forcing the man to take a step back only for the edge of the desk to hit his ass. neuvillette jumped a little in surprise, somehow completely unaware of how quickly you have him cornered against his desk. and maybe you should have felt a little shame in the thrill you got from observing his reactions to you; how his cheeks remained flushed and his eyes darting back and forth from your face to the wall behind you, or how he tries to shy away from you, clearly unsure of how to act in the situation.
now with just inches between your bodies, you lean ever closer to him and rest the palm of your hand on his desk, watching as his eyes follow your hand, before snapping back to your face. neuvillette can feel his blood rushing, taking deep breaths to keep his mind coherent despite how his body is responding to your proximity, knowing full well that it wouldn’t be long before you would discover his disgraceful reaction to you.
but he can’t help; deep inside he already begins to ache, biting the inside of his cheek as he secretly wishes for you to get even closer, take another step. you were already so close and he can smell your light perfume, his breathing getting unsteady as he wonders how far you’ll take this. will you close the distance completely? will you decide to allow him a taste of your pretty lips, allow him some kind of relief from the aching in his body.
your lips tugged into a small smile as you can’t help but let out a quiet chuckle. for all his stoicism, neuvillette can’t seem to hide his desires even a little bit. but it was refreshing to see the vulnerability in his eyes, and the unsteadiness of his breathing when you finally take the last step, trapping him between the table and you. with just the tip of your toes, you lean up and press a kiss to his lips, warm and eager to meet yours.
the kiss was short and sweet, due in part to neuvillette’s inexperience, however it didn’t matter to you. you would have time to slowly teach him, but now there was other, more pressing, matters to deal with.
you could feel it against your belly, the heat emanating from it penetrating through the layers of clothing to your skin. neuvillette felt like his body was on fire, so unused to this feeling of uncontrollable surges of pleasure and how hard his cock was, pressed against you.
his mind was already getting dizzy from your mere presence and the kiss, however, the feeling of your hand gently coming to brush over the bulge through his pants finally snaps him back to reality. the honourable judge suddenly becomes aware of his surroundings again as another wave of redness overcomes his face.
“w-wait, we’re in p-public…” his words are mumbled as your fingers begin to search for the zip on his pants.
“i don’t see anyone else here except us,” you whispered back, dragging the zipper down nice and slow over his cock. his breath stutters, hands fidgeting by his sides as he’s torn between stopping you and letting you do as you pleased.
“there’s people outside… please…” neuvillette’s voice was barely a whisper, shaky and unsure as he feels the heat rising when you finally pulled the zipper all the way down. your fingers tickled over his clothed cock, tapping softly on it as his hips jerked.
“please what? stop? do you want me to stop, neuvillette?” you rest your head up one his shoulder, your words whispered beside his ear and your hands moving to cup his cock, searching for the opening in his boxers. despite the questioning nature of your words, neuvillette knows you’re not asking, with the way your hands moved, he bites down on his bottom lip as you finally touched his aching cock, deft fingers making quick work of releasing it from its confines.
the chief justice has never felt any one way about his desk, just finding it to be a good table he did his work on. but today, the man was grateful for its stable structure, for the strong wood that now supported his body weight as his legs grow weaker with every stroke of your hand. his fingers pressed against the table, teeth gritting as neuvillette tries to swallow down the sounds that threatened to escape. sounds that he never thought he would make, but the high whine from the back of his throat nearly got out, keeling over when your thumb brushed over the head of his cock.
hands that always kept a safe and respectable distance from you clutched at your clothes, and the man can no longer retain any kind of composure. his face pressed against your neck, clinging onto you for support as you so easily worked him over.
meanwhile, you were thrilled; eyes trained on the man in front of you as your hand continues its rhythmic movements. your thumb brushed over his tip with every other stroke, collecting the pearls of precum that he leaked and spreading it over his stiff cock. you watched on with your own breathing beginning to pick up; the normally composed and stoic neuvillette crumbling beneath your touch, and the quiet whimpers that he lets out as his hips trembled did not leave you unaffected.
the tightness in your lower belly only served to push you on, eager to see this man reach his high, shaking with pure bliss because of you. you tightened your fist, increasing your pace and now twisting your wrist with every upward stroke.
this change was immediately felt by neuvillette, a strangled whine sounding from his throat as he gripped your arms. unable keep his voice down now, the man hides his face in your neck, an unending string of whimpers could be heard muffled into your skin as his orgasm quickly builds.
neuvillette has never felt like this in his life; an indescribable pleasure rushing through his body, the heat from your touch that burned him like fire, and yet he can’t get enough of it, craving for it as you push him to the brink. every pump, every stroke, neuvillette feels his mind tearing at the seams, unable to comprehend the way you made him feel, the emotions building in his chest, as well as the tight knot he feels at the base of his cock.
“mgh, w-wait, i think i n-need the bathroom,” neuvillette gasps out, hips and thighs quivering terribly as he feels the somewhat familiar urge to pee. he tries to grab your hand, getting more and more frantic as the build up inside him becomes nearly unbearable and the thought of urinating in your hands was far too much for him. he could never face you again if he did.
but you ignore his cries, pushing his shaky hands away and picked up the pace. hearing his sobs and whimpers only urged you on, “don’t worry and just let go, i want to see you cum.”
and just like that, your words and sultry voice pushed him over, the tight knot snapping as neuvillette’s orgasm overtakes his senses, releasing all over your hand. the strings of white cum squirts out on his own clothes and the floor of his office, the man himself having shut his eyes as he experiences pure, unadulterated pleasure surging through his body. you held him tightly through his high, stroking him to completion until his cock begins to soften in your hand, but neuvillette’s body was still trembling and his muscles felt like jelly after being so tensed for so long.
“i, i apologise, i thought i needed the bathroom,” the man finally speaks again after a period of silence as he regains control of his mind and body. your free hand rubs his back, doing your best to comfort him after a moment of vulnerability.
“i heard the feeling of an orgasm can be quite similar to feeling the need to pee, especially since it’s your first experience.” and neuvillette’s face flushes again, he had never told you this was his first sexual experience, but it must have been obvious enough to you. finally feeling enough strength to move, he reaches for a tissue before gingerly wiping your hand, making sure to clean it thoroughly before moving into his clothes and the floor. although he may have felt a little embarrassed seeing his own mess, he hid it well, not wanting to look shameful in front of you anymore than he already has.
you can’t help but think how adorable the chief justice looks right now, quietly cleaning up after himself with the deep red blush across his cheeks. you reach for his now soft cock, chuckling when you hear a surprised yelp from the man, and tucked it back into his boxers before zipping up his pants.
neuvillette’s feels like his face has a permanent blush, as he looks at you patting his crotch and smiling like you didn’t just give him his first (of many) orgasm. one that was in his office no less, with people who held him in high regard right outside. he is just grateful the thick door blocks out sound, given the absolutely shameful sounds that he let out as you stroked his cock.
even the thought of it now makes him feel embarrassed, and yet at the same time he can’t help how excited it makes him. neuvillette pushes these thoughts out of his mind, focusing instead on as you give his cheek a kiss, smiling endearingly at him. all thoughts of shame or embarrassment now gone from his mind as he gaze softens, his chest filling up with emotion when you wrap your arms around him and bid him goodbye with a promise of meeting again. although, his cheeks then crimson yet again from your last parting words:
“if you still need help understanding human pleasure, i’m happy to teach you anytime.”
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0vergrowngraveyard · 2 months
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sonic the millisecond he sees tails on west side:
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solecist · 3 months
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was watching 악어's (acau's) vod today (it's amazing finally understanding more than one language on the qsmp fully ayeeee) and just wanted to clarify something! was noticing that 어색해 (second vod around min 52) was getting translated to "awkward". it isn't wrong persay but in english, saying that a person to person interaction was "awkward" has a bit of a negative connotation -- it's definitely not a positive word
when i tend to use 어색해, which is a word i almost only heard when talking about human interaction, i usually mean "shy" more than awkward. it's a bit of a complicated feeling -- you're a bit shy and a bit lost but it's a word that generally has pretty positive connotations (i like to think of it like the shyness that comes from meeting someone you really like/want to get to know better/want to impress, but that's more of a personal thing?)
i noticed it because quackity probably saw the word "awkward" instead of shy at the end of his tour/showing 악어 around. so he immediately assured 악어 that the qsmp team is there to help (which was sweet <3) but probably 악어 meant more of a "i'm a bit shy so i'll take a bit of time to do some personal exploring"
he also said that he was sure that any shyness (어색한) would wear off after he got to know people better!
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welcometogrouchland · 4 months
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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#Jason Todd#batfamily#it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works#like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over#i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin#and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well#duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd#(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read#went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems#point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam#but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it#jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog#damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH#speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro#wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty
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flamingfalcon3 · 1 year
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Pinnocchio’s introduction in the new movie is like this meme but in reverse:
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golswia · 5 months
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REVERSE CROWLEY IS HERE
his demon spouse still in makin
Some elaboration:
So, for sure in this au, angels also have an animal equivalent. They either choose it or are gifted by God, not sure here Kelevs ( i literally called him a “dog” in a different language, help-) animal form is originally a huge white wolf, but as humanity progressed and people domesticated them, he altered his form to that of a dog to not scare them off. Be closer to them. He adores earthly creations, protects them like a loyal dog and feels "leashed" by heaven. but also Crowley, the biggest simp. what is the simpiest animal? dog- In Heaven he is rather "respected" (ADORED by cherubs and other low ranking angels, they treat him like an idol sort of) for his demon-slaying (he does ✨slay✨ too, tho) Mostly recognized in hell by all demons as " that bloody, bastard, mongrel of Her's" Kelev was really dead set on whipping off as many demons as he could. He was ruthless in the Great Heavens War. Than he grew more and more conflicted, about the whole angel demon thing. Confused even, by a c e r t a i n demon. And God’s actions, that he had more and more trouble blindly agreeing with (smth like our Aziraphale). As he wanted be loyal to Her and Her creations.
That’s it for now ✨ but there will be more ✨ ✨ (I feel like, for the lil Fiat i have to do whole another post bUahah)
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falled-over · 7 months
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farfaras · 1 year
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First part to this prompt I posted the other day. This is gonna be eventual steddie (sorry, stonathan) and I’m really excited. Title from the song ‘nonsense’ by Sabrina Carpenter.
I think I got an ex but I forgot him
Part 1. (You’re here)
Part 2.
-
If he heard the words: Robin and in love, in the same sentence, with the melodious voice of one Dustin Henderson, one more time. Steve was sure he was gonna lose it.
Listen, he understands where he’s coming from. The kid just wants him to be happy. But he is! Dustin just doesn’t seem to get that. Happiness doesn’t only come in the form of a relationship. His teenage brain can’t comprehend that fact just yet. He wishes he did though, because he’s absolutely insufferable about getting Steve and Robin together.
No excuse or explanation he gives is good enough. Dustin still insists that he needs to try, that this is his chance at true love. Robin is kind of the love of his life, sure, but the platonic love of his life. His best friend, his soulmate, sister from another mister. All that jazz. Dustin doesn’t buy it though.
And Steve’s tried everything! He even told Dustin about that time in starcourt when they were high off his asses. Told him that he confessed his crush to Robin but that she rejected him, and that they were best friends now and nothing else. He obviously left out the part where Robin came out to him. He’s never gonna reveal Robin’s secret to anyone. The only answer he got was that “It doesn’t even matter now! Things could’ve changed! You never know.” Steve knew. He knew that he would never be into his best friend like that, and she would never be into him. Apparently they were the only ones who knew that.
Because of all the fuss Dustin was constantly making, other people started giving their input. Thanks Dustin. They didn’t get it either, didn’t believe they were just Platonic with a capital P. They made sure they knew it too, the whole party, Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie. Not Argyle, he said that the energy between Steve and Robin was intense but completely friendly, almost like they were twins. Steve liked Argyle. Of course he had to be miles away.
Most of their friends dropped the subject after the second time Steve or Robin explained the nature of their relationship. Even if they weren’t convinced, they didn’t push. Except for one person. Yep. Dustin.
Who was currently harassing Steve at his job. He didn’t know what else to tell him. If family video wasn’t empty he would just ignore him to do his job but there was nothing to do. He couldn’t even sweep or anything because everything was already done.
“Okay well! There must be a good reason why you guys haven’t gotten together!” Dustin exclaimed. He is so fucking stubborn.
“I already told you, Henderson. We’re. Just. Friends.” He knew it wasn’t gonna do anything. It was just a routine at this point.
Dustin’s expression changed to determination. “Nuh uh. There’s a reason there. And I’m gonna find out!” Shit. Could Dustin figure out Robin? He doesn’t think so. But he’s starting to panic. What if he finds out? Robin doesn’t deserve that. He’d feel like it was his fault, and everything would go to shit.
“Okay! Okay! There is a reason.”
“I knew it! You have to tell me.” Dustin demanded. Well, Steve hasn’t thought that much ahead. He needs to come up with something and he needs to do it fast if Dustin is gonna believe it.
“Look, I haven’t told anyone this before.” Building suspense, nice.
Then, an idea popped into his head and it seemed like the perfect response to all of this. Or maybe it’s the only thing he could think of in such short notice. “I’m gay.” He blurts out. It made sense in his head, really. Robin doesn’t get outed, but she can still look at the reaction she might get when she comes out. (It doesn’t hold any kind of truth at all. Not one Steve can see right now at least.)
Dustin is just staring at him. “What? I don’t, you’re not, since when?”
“Since I was born?” It sounds like a question. Steve didn’t prepare for follow up questions to the reply he literally just crafted.
“There’s no way you’re gay.” At least he didn’t seem disgusted or upset? Is this a good or bad reaction?
“Are you not okay with it?” Steve dared to ask.
“What?! Of course I’m okay with it, I’m just. I don’t care, but you don’t really seem gay. It’s hard to believe.” At least he’s okay with it. He’s still being stubborn.
“Way to stereotype, Henderson.”
Dustin sputters. “Wha- can you even blame me? Who could believe you?”
The next words that came out of Steve’s mouth didn’t actually ask for permission to be said. “My boyfriend can believe it.” He said it so matter of fact that he surprised himself a little. The way he usually took the route of action before thinking was gonna bite him in the ass some day. Would that be today?
“Boyfriend?!! And you didn’t tell me? You don’t have a boyfriend!” He accused Steve. “Who is it?”
Oh. Shoot. Quick, brain. Who could be his boyfriend? Someone his age, that was single, and could be believed to be in a gay relationship.
“It’s Jonathan.” Why did he say that? He just broke up with Nancy, that would just seem like a messy situation. Also is he literally just doing what he scolded Dustin for and stereotyping?
“But he just broke up with Nancy.” Hmm. Did Dustin read his mind or something.
“It’s new. That’s why I haven’t told anyone.”
“Not even Robin?” Oh, crap. Is he gonna have to tell this to people? Well, he should probably tell Jonathan first that he is apparently in a relationship with him now.
“Not even Robin.” Dustin beamed at this.
“You know, even if you and Jonathan are kind of a weird sounding couple, and this is surprising… if you’re happy then I’m happy for you, Steve.” That was weirdly sweet of Dustin.
“Thanks, bud.”
After that and renting a movie, Dustin was on his way. He gave Steve a hug goodbye and hopped on his bike to go home.
Steve had a lot of things to get done now. And he hoped that the first one went well because he didn’t really have a plan B if it didn’t. What had he gotten himself into?
First things first. Asking Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.
At least for a while.
What could go wrong?
-
Step 1. Get Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.
Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?
He’s not sure about that one. This situation was kind of embarrassing, he’d rather just share his embarrassment with the one person who is absolutely necessary. Also Robin doesn’t seem like the type to lie to their friends. Even if it was harmless.
Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?
Step 2. Make a game plan.
They’d probably need to talk about how this was gonna go. Get all their facts straight in case there were any questions, which there were going to be. Plan how long this was gonna be for. He was getting a bit ahead of himself, but there was no plan B.
Step 3. Hope it’s believable.
He was already outside of the Hopper-Byers home. This shouldn’t be hard, Jonathan is a pretty understanding guy. He wouldn’t judge Steve, or make fun of him. At least that’s what Steve hoped. They’ve been developing a friendship for a while. Which has been going surprisingly well. Fuck. Was this gonna mess it up?
He got out of his car and walked to the door, knocking. El answered the door, she gave him a smile and let him in.
“Is Jonathan home?” Him asking for Jonathan wasn’t a rare occurrence nowadays, so El just nodded and pointed to his room.
He knocked to make his presence known. “Hey, Jon?” He opened the door and stepped inside the room.
“Hiya. What’s up, Harrington?” Jonathan grinned at Steve. Ah. Shit. He didn’t look completely sober. Must’ve smoked something earlier.
“Well, I wanted to talk to you. I’d rather wait until you sober up though.” Jonathan just gave him a thumbs up.
“Happy to have company.” Steve knew Jonathan was having trouble dealing with the break up. They had been together for a while and he thought that those two were gonna beat all the odds and marry each other or something. Maybe they still could find their way back to each other someday. Right now though, it probably sucked.
Nancy was off to college, Jonathan stayed here in Hawkins doing community college. There was no way of knowing how Nancy was taking it, she barely called and when she did it was kinda cut and dry. Although Steve supposed that was a way of telling she wasn’t doing so good either.
They hung out, doing nothing in particular. Just talking, listening to music and Steve sobering him up.
“Did you say you wanted to talk about something?” Jon asked. He looked sober now. Or as sober as his perpetual stoner face could look.
“Yeah… I kinda did something stupid.”
“Don’t we all.” Cute. Was he trying to make him feel better? It would’ve worked if what he did wasn’t as stupid as it was.
“No, seriously. I think this is the dumbest thing I have done.” Understatement.
“It can’t be that bad.” Jon’s words weren’t aligned with his face because it looked like he was starting to worry.
“It has something to do with you too.” With those words, Steve definitely made Jonathan start to worry. “Hear me out first!”
Retelling the events from earlier was excruciating. Steve has never felt this embarrassed before. It sounded so dumb saying it out loud.
“You really couldn’t come up with anything else? Like oh I don’t know. Saying you don’t like Robin like that?” It was like he wasn’t even listening.
“I tried that thousands of times! He wouldn’t buy it!”
“Why haven’t you just dated anyone else? To prove that you’re not hung up on her?” Interesting line of questioning. Honestly, it’s been a long time since someone has made him feel anything at all. No girl caught his attention like before. Has the upside down messed him up so bad that he can’t form romantic connections anymore?
“I just, I don’t really. Taking a break from dating sounded good to me.”
“Uh huh. Sure.” Jon didn’t believe him, whatever.
“Look I just panicked, spoke without thinking.”
“You know, I actually thought that Dustin was right about you and Robin before. But if you’re so determined to prove you’re not, to even come up with something like that.” Steve hated this. Was Jonathan getting a kick out of this?
“Are you amused? I’m kinda suffering here.” Steve lamented. “Can you just please help me?
“Oh god, what do you expect me to do? Pretend to date you to get Dustin off your back?” Yes. Please.
“Look! I only ask for a few weeks! It doesn’t have to be for long. Just, a few weeks of fake dating and then just say it didn’t work out and we decided to stay friends. All that cheesy stuff.” God, he was not being convincing at all.
Jonathan still looked skeptical. But at least he was considering it now. “I’ll owe you, big time. Whatever favor you want.” Steve offered.
Jon looked resigned now. He huffed out a breath. “I never thought my first boyfriend was gonna be Steve Harrington.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I always pictured a nerd or maybe a stoner.” He was confused now. Was Jonathan? “Yes, Steve. You should probably know if we’re gonna do this. I also like guys. And I’m assuming you’re okay with it, considering what you just asked.”
“Of course! Thanks for telling me. I’m glad you could trust me.” He was being genuine. Even if Steve was a little surprised, and now felt even more guilty about words he used in the past to insult Jonathan. All the past apologies seemed insufficient. Even so, he was happy that their friendship could develop into this.
“So? How is this gonna work? You really owe me now, you know.”
“Trust me, I know.”
So their friendship wasn’t ruined. Who knows? Maybe this could make it stronger.
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