#this was so fun but I had to rack my brain sm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

horanghater · 11 months ago

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Scenic Route

Summary: Road trip entertainment dries up fast, but Soonyoung has one more idea to help you pass the time.

▸ Pairing: Soonyoung x F!reader

▸ Rating / Genre / AU: 18+ / pwp / established relationship

If you are a minor AND/OR if your account has no age in the bio, you will be blocked upon interacting (liking/reblogging) with this post.

▸ Warnings: unsafe driving, oral (m, f receiving), piv, (light) breath play, creampie

▸ Word Count: 2.1k

▸ A/N: Wishing the happiest of birthdays to my lovely friend @onlymingyus! I hope you enjoy this slice of debauchery cake! @shuadotcom is my beta and my world <3 Love you both sm!

“I’m bored.”

“You’re bored? You’re not even driving,” Soonyoung scoffs, gaze fixed on the road ahead.

The problem with road trips is that between the rest stops and attractions, there are too many dead zones with little to look at in between. You’ve read, slept, listened to an audiobook, and even after another nap, you and Soonyoung still haven’t arrived at your destination for the night.

“Yeah, I’m not driving or doing anything else. My phone has no bars,” you pout as you put your screen to sleep again, silently praying for the millionth time for better service.

Soonyoung’s been with you long enough to know when you’re on the cusp of boredom-induced crankiness, so he racks his brain for ideas as he reaches over to squeeze your thigh comfortingly. “If you’re so bored, why don’t you get off and then go back to sleep?”

You’re sure that Soonyoung can feel your eyes boring holes into the side of his head. He can’t hide the way the sides of his lips quirk up, but he makes it a point not to return your stare. “You’re serious?”

His free hand moves from your leg to gesture at the steering wheel instead. “Unless you want to switch?” Ahead of you, there’s only an endless stretch of road and no other cars for what seems like miles. Getting back into the driver’s seat would be the only thing more boring than your current predicament. So getting off….that actually might be the best idea Soonyoung’s had all day.

But upright in the passenger’s seat isn’t the most ideal position. Sure, you could draw your legs up onto the seat and open yourself wide to make room for your fingers – it’s just not that comfortable. Finally, an even better idea dawns on you.

“What if I gave you road head?”

When Soonyoung finally does dare to glance at you, it’s with a mix of excitement and worry. His tongue darts out to wet his lips before he draws the bottom one between his teeth thoughtfully. “You wanna? Will that work for you?”

You’ve sucked Soonyoung off in plenty of locations – the woods, a manmade hot spring, his parents’ house, a department store dressing room – but never in the car. His biggest issue is usually with keeping quiet and for once, that’s not a factor. So why not?

“It’s something fun to do, like you were saying. Come on, turn on cruise control.”

Soonyoung fiddles with the controls on the steering wheel and adjusts in his seat, giving you enough room to work his cock out of his pants. It’s not the smoothest, but the elastic waistband of his sweats are forgiving enough to work with.

You waste no time, gathering saliva on your tongue and engulfing half of his cock in the heat of your mouth. Soonyoung hisses and fidgets with nowhere to go. When all he does is cuss and you feel him getting firmer, you figure it’s safe enough to keep going. With his arms just above you gripping the wheel, you can’t bob your head with the vigor that you usually would. Pushing yourself to lean a little further into Soonyoung’s lap, you hollow your cheeks and hold yourself there, delighting in the way he twitches against your tongue. Soonyoung makes a sound that’s somewhere between a yelp and a groan; it’s all the confirmation you need to proceed. Alternating between swiping your tongue around his length and throating as much as you can proves to be a winning combination. It’s barely any time at all before the familiar saltiness of his precum hits your tongue. Having Soonyoung unravel beneath you is always arousing, but every time you get a taste of his essence, it instantly doubles your excitement. It’s starting to feel uncomfortably damp between your thighs and you squeeze them for what’s honestly not enough relief, but you will yourself to at least finish him off before you find another position that will let you sink your fingers into your core.

Just as you’re starting to get lost in Soonyoung, he swears again and you feel the car veer to the right. His palm rests against the back of your hand when you try to assess; not forceful or scared, simply reassuring. You slow your ministrations down, letting him rest against the flat of your tongue as you await an explanation. When the car rolls to a smooth stop, Soonyoung lifts you back up and throws the gear in park. He’s pulled into a lookout spot between a thicket of trees, the front of the vehicle facing the rolling waves of the sea. It’s a gorgeous view that belongs on a postcard. You turn to tell Soonyoung as much, appreciating the romantic touch, but the words die in your throat as you watch his eyes indulgently fall over your curves.

“I need more than just your perfect mouth, baby girl. Let’s have some more fun.”

If you don’t tell him “no”, Soonyoung just takes. And when you don’t stop him now, that’s all the signal he needs. He twists off the ignition and hastily unbuckles your seatbelt, all but shoving you into the back before he ejects himself from the driver’s seat.

Soonyoung is great at eating pussy, so you certainly never require an excuse from him if he wants to do just that. Nonetheless, he provides an explanation of “since we don’t have lube” as he kneels on the ground in front of the car, settling between your unclothed legs as they dangle haphazardly off the side of the seat.

You’d no plans to argue anyway, but any sense of uncertainty went out the window the moment his tongue drags up your entrance and lush lips kiss your clit. The sensation plunges you into a pit of need with Soonyoung every single time, whether you’re ready for it or not. Then, when he pushes the soft muscle into your dewy entrance, your legs reflexively snap shut, only blocked by his shoulders. Soonyoung lets you trap him there, relaxing his jaw so he can sloppily mouth at your swollen lips, tongue still working into you as deep as he can get it. You can’t hold off your orgasm for very long when he’s like this, eager and voracious. Soonyoung knows it too – and when you start to spasm around him he pushes deeper and sucks as his nose nudges against your clit.

Your hands fly to his hair when you feel him groan and nuzzle into you. Soonyoung reaches up to take your hands instead, weaving your fingers together so he can anchor you as the flame in your stomach bursts into a fireball. It feels like the wind’s been knocked out of you as your body temperature spikes and you fall to pieces on Soonyoung’s tongue. He lets you ride the feeling out on his face, content to forgo oxygen if it means breathing only you in instead.

It feels like your climax lasts forever, though it’s clear that Soonyoung’s been (impatiently?) waiting for you to reach a plane of calm bliss when he rises and his bottoms are pulled just below his ass to expose his cock, hard and weeping from the tip. You crane your neck to get a better look, but Soonyoung does one better and climbs right on top of you, caging you on your back between his knees.

You call to him and Soonyoung singsongs your name back, leaning down to plant a kiss on your cheek. At the last second, you turn your head and force him to meet your lips, giggling at the taste of yourself on him. “Love you,” you whisper. Soonyoung pulls back just enough to study you, showering you with affection with his eyes before he repeats, “Love you too, baby.” He scooches forward and then he’s pushing inside, cock pulsing as your walls mold around him. You gasp along with him, holding onto his forearms as he starts to move. Soonyoung looks so good like this: chin tucked into his chest and brows tight as “fuck yes”s and more “love yous” tumble from his lips. Taking in the sight helps you to appreciate the slight burn that comes with his cock stretching you open, as is always the case when you’re both too excited to bother going any slower.

What helps the most, though, is the way Soonyoung mumbles out praises when he begins to thrust with real intent.

“So perfect for me, made for me.” “You always feel so good, princess.” “Taking this dick like a fucking pro.” No matter how vulgar it sounds, the praise feels like a weighted blanket, wrapping you up in threads made of need and adoration.

The distant sound of tires on gravel threatens to pull you from the headspace that is only Soonyoung, a moan dissipating in your throat before you can breathe it out. He’d ignored the way the car felt like a sauna and how cramped this all was, but the threat of being caught finally gets him to pause.

Soonyoung grouses as he pulls himself from you, twisting around awkwardly to bat your legs until you pull them closer so he can slam the car door closed. With your quarters at their tightest yet, he yanks you toward him by your hips and then rocks you back with your knees folded into your chest.

This time when Soonyoung sinks into you, it’s so much deeper. He sets a breakneck pace, pupils blown as he watches you whine at the feeling while he smacks his hips into your ass. The tires you heard earlier are less distant now, but Soonyoung won’t let you worry about it further.

He presses his entire body into you, your combined weight forcing out a punched exhale as he grinds his hips against you feverishly. The tip of Soonyoung’s cock is prodding at the knot forming in your belly. Your mouth falls open, but he shushes you and makes sure to fully relax atop you, stopping you from taking in enough air to make more noise.

Soonyoung controls everything from your orgasms to every breath you dare to take in. The reminder tugs sharply at the knot as your eyes roll back and flutter shut, succumbing to the pleasure bullying its way through your body. “Ssh, ssh,” he murmurs above you, voice shaky with his own end quickly approaching. “You can cum like this, can’t you? Don’t wanna get caught.” All you can do is nod as he grinds deep, rhythm faltering as he grits out, “So, so, so good for me, baby girl.” Soonyoung shifts just barely, but the change is enough to press into your aching clit. The friction surprises you, knot snapping as blood rushes in your ears and your climax rips through your limbs. You’re too wrapped up in each other to see it, but you can hear the way your cum oozes out and pools at your entrance to form a ring around your abused hole. It’s lewd, perverse in a way that would have you drawing in a breath if Soonyoung would allow it.

The way your cavernous walls shrink around and pull Soonyoung’s cock inward slows his movement, but not his intensity. Feeling you gush around him and watching you cum silently, lungs at his mercy, goes straight to his balls. They grow tighter when he finally eases off of you to thrust at one more angle, the anticipation making him tingle.

You gasp deeply and whimper, “Soonyoung” pitifully when you’re finally allowed to breathe once again. You feel pleasantly warm all over, if not a little achy, and smile up at him, dopey.

The sight of you fucked out is what does Soonyoung in at last, gritting out more praise as he stills and hot cum floods your cunt.

You stay together like that for a few minutes, panting and sweaty as your skin sticks together uncomfortably. When Soonyoung finally does move, you sigh with relief as you extend your legs, the movement soothing even if you can’t rest them down properly with the limited space.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Soonyoung frets, grimacing at his own sweat. “Paper towels are in the trunk, I think. That other car left – let me go back there so I can clean you up.”

“S’ok,” you mumble, basking in twilight.

Soonyoung loves you all of the time, but especially in moments like this when all you feel is the warmth of paradise.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” he admits softly.

“Love you too.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re passed out with your hood pulled up and cinched together under your chin, head leaning against the window.

Soonyoung peers at you, smiling contentedly at knowing he’s the cause. “Can’t wait to get to the damn hotel,” he says aloud to himself. “Got some more fun for you there, baby.”

#svthub #kvanity #hoshi x reader #soonyoung x reader #svt reader #seventeen x reader #hoshi smut #soonyoung smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #hoshi fic #soonyoung fic #svt fic #seventeen fic

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bgomtori · 11 months ago

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☆ be careful with my heart - c.sb

synopsis- the mixed signals you were giving him were worrying him, so he decided to talk it out with you.

-> inspired by be careful with my heart from rocco!

-> idol! soobin x non idol! law student! reader

-> established relationship

-> warnings! reader is slightly dry at the start but you'll understand,, sad soob :( mentions of cheating

-> note! birthday post for sooby booby^^ i love scooby snack sm😓😓 wishing he was real rn. his toe middle finger will forever be engraved in my brain.

you two were busy people, you were constantly coped up with your studies in law while soobin had his crazy schedule as an idol. you two rarely saw one another, even if you did, it will usually be quiet, cuddling in each others arms, on the bed, scrolling on your phones. you two were too exhausted from your busy lifestyle in general.

you'd normally reply soobin as per usual whenever you had breaks, and he'd do the same, returning the same happy energy even through texts. however, recently soobin realised that your messages have been drier than usual, replying him with an, "oh.." or even an, "ok". this was driving him insane, did you find someone that could satisfy your romantic dreams while he was on tour, did you find someone better than him? soobin was worried, he didn't want to pester you about it though he hinted it multiple times, but you were too dense.

"maybe just wait till the tour's over? we're going back in a few days, maybe you can ask her to explain everything once you're back." taehyun, the only one in the team who gives decent love advice, suggested. soobin messed his hair around, clearly frustrated over this, he wants an answer now, he doesn't want to walk in on you cheating on him with someone better. he nodded his head and left towards his hotel room to spend time alone, clearing his mind by playing some mobile games on his phone.

days passed, tour was finally over, soobin could finally go home and see you, and question you. his palms were sweaty when he typed in the password to the door, a sweet melody chimed as he opened the door quietly, hanging his coat on the jacket rack, dragging his heavy luggage with him.

"i'm home!" soobin called out, signalling his return, however there was no response, were you out? he noticed faint music coming from the room, why did you not reply back? were you really fall out of love with him? his eyebrows furrowed, a huge wave of emotions crashed onto him.

"yn?" he whispered, peeking his head into your shared room, he was stunned at the state of the room, loose pieces of paper laying around the floor, post it notes pasted up against the wall infront of your desk, and study guides with notes laid out on the table. you were scribbling down your notes frantically, you have a test coming up, and you have yet to memorise the slides from the lectures. you rubbed your tired eyes, turning to the presence slowly moving towards you.

"hey soob." you utter out, pure exhaustion taking over your body. soobin's expression completely changed, he practically ran towards to carry you. you groaned in his shoulder, using most of your energy to push yourself up to look soobin in the eye.

"sorry, i didn't hear you at first.. i have a test soon, i kinda didn't listen to the lectures so like i have been like staying up to study." you tried explaining yourself, your eyes red and puffy from the previous meltdowns you had. soobin carried you to your bed, laying you down, making sure that you were comfortable. he sat on the floor, resting against the wall, watching you with concern. you turned to lay on your side, facing soobin.

"how was tour?" you asked, rubbing his soft hands, intertwining them together in the process. soobin thought for a while, it was fun, but he was mostly worried about your relationship, yet he couldn't tell you since he was practically assuming. "it was super fun, i bought you some stuff, i'll show them to you tomorrow after your classes." soobin smiled, you hummed, you were happy that he was finally back, your home, your solace, your best friend. you smiled to yourself, but can't help but realise soobin was awfully quiet.

"something on your mind soob?" you squeezed soobin's big hands, that were twice the size of yours. he was hesitant to tell you, he felt guilty that he made such an assumption without even knowing what you were going through.

"i'm sorry, i thought that our relationship was going to fall apart, because when i was away, your replies to my messages were dry.. so i thought you found another one, the 3 weeks i was gone." soobin admitted, averting his gaze. you felt your heartache, it wasn't your intention to reply so coldly to your boyfriend. you cupped soobin's soft cheek, caressing them, "i had multiple tests and internships that i needed to do, i'm sorry soob. i've been so tired since you went on tour, i didn't have much energy to reply anyone.. i should have told you." you apologised, ruffling up his hair. soobin grabbed a hold on your hand, pouting slightly.

"mm, please be careful with my heart." soobin mumbled, pressing a soft kiss on your hand, you smiled at him sweetly, "of course i will."

#txt scenarios #txt imagines #txt fanfic #txt reactions #txt #txt imagine #txt fluff #soobin imagines #txt soobin #soobin scenarios #soobin fanfic #soobin fluff #soobin

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theoracleofgiana · 2 years ago

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First Loves

(Town: Twinehollow, Country: Cleca)

You won't ever forget your first love. I can't remember who told me that, but I do know they were right.

I met or, more accurately, saw Lauren when we were in high school. At the start of freshman year, Lauren got transferred to my biology class. The whole classroom went quiet when she walked in. Her uniform fit her flawlessly and she walked with such elegance. She was the most graceful person I had ever seen. I knew I admired her.

We didn't start talking until we were paired to do a project together. We ended up having a lot of fun with it and wanted to hang out more. We became something akin to friends. She began sitting next to me in class and at lunch. It was only natural that I developed a crush on her. However, I was content with just being friends with the angel. Besides, there was no way she'd like an elf who was a disgrace to other elves.

It was our junior year when I realized. Mine and Lauren's friendship was still strong. One night, a friend of mine invited me to a party. The legal age to drink was thirteen and all the guests were above it. So with the promise of being her designated diver, I drove the two of us to the party. It was in full swing when we arrived. I let my friend, Ruth, head off alone. I figured I'd find her when it was time to go. While I walked around the house, I found someone I never expected to see at a party.

Lauren was sitting on the back steps nodding along to something the guy next to her was saying. I couldn't help myself and walked out to greet her. She responded happily and the two of us moved to a couple of chairs in the yard. She explained to me that the guy wouldn't stop talking or leave her alone so she was grateful for my rescue. We talked about random things for a bit before getting refills on our drinks. It was then I noticed Lauren had just been drinking water. I asked her about it and she told me she'd never drunk alcohol before. She was nervous about it and wanted to drink with someone she trust. I had a bright idea to tell her she could trust me and that I was staying sober to drive my friend home. After a bit of convincing, she agreed and I poured her first drink of alcohol.

I learned quickly that drunk Lauren was a lot more upbeat than regular Lauren. She was dragging me to dance with her a lot. She'd giggle and laugh at almost everything. At some point, Ruth got a ride with some other kids (the one driving was completely sober). I let her go and watched over Lauren. When the night was heading to a close, I figured I'd drive Lauren home. I knew where she lived thanks to our study sessions. It was surprisingly easy to get her in the car and head off. While in the car, I learned drunk Lauren was a lot more open than the regular Lauren.

It had started off simple enough. "Do you remember Jason?" Lauren had her legs on the dash staring at the ceiling when she asked. I racked my brain to remember a Jason only to realize it was a pretty common name. "You're gonna have to be more specific," I told her with a small chuckle. "Jason Carter, the demon with black horns and a dark red tail," She clarifies. I nod. "Didn't he move away?" I say remembering something I had overheard. Lauren shook her head. "No...Dad chased his family out of town," Her voice is small and on the edge of breaking. "I promised myself I'd never fall for anyone after what happened." I glance over at her with pity. I never knew she liked him or that that was the reason he left town. Unfortunately, it made sense a lot of sense. Mr. Aarin was on the council and was super rich. He was also very protective of his daughter. Lauren's sniffs had brought me back from my thoughts. I placed one hand on her knee, making small circles with my thumb, hoping it'd be somewhat comforting. She had just sighed loudly. "The worst part is he's supportive of me being pansexual but doesn't want me to like anyone," She huffs and all I can offer her is a light squeeze on her knee. She smiled and the rest of the trip was in silence. After helping her out and getting her inside to her parents, I went back to my car.

I just sat there for a little before driving off. As I headed back home, I thought of the day's events. I thought about all Lauren had told me and her laughter from all the dancing she did. After thinking a lot about it I came to one major conclusion. I was without a doubt completely in love with Lauren.

And now here I am, about to watch my first love marry someone she met only a few days ago. I keep my tears in as she walks down the aisle holding her dad's arm. She's smiling and giggling before she's even had a drop of alcohol. The biggest thing was how happy she looked. For Lauren, she was marrying the love of her life. For me, I was losing mine. I only ever want her happy so I stand back. I say nothing when the priest asks if there are any objections. I wish the newlyweds happiness and stand in the back away from others.

"Hey," The voice startles me into looking up from my drink. A cute guy with brown hair stands in front of me. "Hello?" I say, unsure if I was supposed to know this man or not. He gives a small chuckle at my reaction. "I'm a friend of the groom," He explains gesturing to Lauren's new husband. "I figured I should say hi to another kindred soul." I raise an eyebrow at that. "You love the bride, right? Or at the very least you liked her," I can feel my face fall at his words. How did he know? "I've been with Anthony since we were young. At some point, I stopped liking him as a friend," His words bring a sense of comfort and familiarity. We were both watching our beloveds marry someone else. "I'm Laura," I tell him holding out my hand. He hums and takes my hand in his. "Clint," His smile is bright as we shake hands. Even in this sad situation, here we are smiling.

You may never forget your first love, but you can move on and live happily.

(A/n: This was an idea I had that was supposed to be short but ended up longer. The funny part is I want to make it longer or expand on some things. I might later on. This is canon to the Giana world but not the main storylines. This is more of a side story I wanted to write. I wanted to write about Lauren and Laura's friendship but then it became a one-sided crush. So, I rewrote what I had in my brain and thus this was born. I hope you enjoyed and have a good day or night!)

#creative writing #ocs #fantasy writing #fantasy world #fantasy #my writing #first love #one sided attraction #writers

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wonwooridul · 3 years ago

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if you had to describe your friendship with your moots as seventeen ships (boochan, jeongcheol etc) which moots would it be and why? is it dynamics? your undying love for each other? rivalry? sorry if this doesnt make sense ^^

hey anonie! Thankyou sm for sending this!! I have been wanting to do it even tho I can’t explain for shit, rip. I’m gonna try my best. this doesn't have to be true, this is only what i feel like. I’d might have mutuals but I’m not really close to all cause we don’t talk a lot but I love them. Since I’m shit at explaining, I’m gonna do this with the few I’m closest too! <3

for obvious reasons I’m gonna keep me as seungkwan in most.

Seungkwan + Coups @heartgyus

we have had a few conversations and i’d say she’s the person i’d take with me to an argument cause our ideals are very like. i feel like if i had to team up with someone to be competitive with against someone else, rhys would surely shut them up and i’d be the one ready to hit. i may be wrong but we really got really pissed off together at same things and it was so fun to just rant on but that also sometimes fire back on me.

Me as Jihoon + Jeonghan @soonhoonsol

staying true to our mbtis, chaotic but extremely protective too? Finds the other as safe place (at least i do) and who fight for other to love themselves. What we do 60% of the time lol. Woozi being loud, hyper and active and jeonghan just observing everything in the bg but then the devil comes and it’s over. The queen, just like she is of caratblr. Totally in awe how somehow she manages to always rb my stuff first, just like how jeonghan comes to support members first. the person I’d 100% commit arson with.

seungkwan + Joshua @softhyungkyun

most underrated friendship. she's the one who calls me loud for being loud, even on text but nevertheless proceeds to just listen. we all know joshua is the kind of who's love language is material/gifts by looking at those handmade bracelets. and victoria my love here is exactly the same. will send me stuff when she thinks of me and like seungkwan I'll get super touched over it and then feel bad cause i didn't do anything.

jeonghan + Jun @icecreamscxups

weirdos but hardworking. i dont really know how to connect our friendship with these two but i'd i feel like we are this duo. loud, weird and supportive. how we always hog each others tags, especially her to appreciate my work which is veryyy jun like. silent lurking type until you get to know her. she's basically my child, even tho she's representing jun here. i feel extremely protective and proud of her only cause 1.she's a baby 2. i love how she has grown into a wonderful cc.

Seungkwan + Hoshi @wonwvoo

i think the pair of seungkwan and hoshi pretty much sums up everything that i could be writing here. it's either rivals or besties. no between. like hoshi, provoking me and like seungkwan me getting worked up, and the story tells itself further.

Seungkwan + Wonwoo @haniehae

calm. composed. soft and then sometimes wild. someone who can keep seungkwan under control. anna always gives off the vibe of someone high class and educated, i dont know how to explain, but very much like wonu. seungkwan brings out his extrovert nature just as how i try to of her.

Seungkwan + Jihoon @art-hao

talent. chill. too good for this world. chaotic. why is she friends with me again? looks calm on in outside to everyone, almost intimidating but is very much not. she's the most jihoon like person. will educate you when needed and won't move from what she believes in. we will be loud together, her too but not as loud as me. will send the most random stuff as snaps and I love that cause that means she's trusting you.

Me as jun + Hao @xuseokgyu

This has already been approved by you lmao. But the constant crackhead energy of jun and him being loud whereas minghao just watches him with fondness and sometimes ‘I’m so done w him’ look. The duo who’s total opposites but still super proud of each other at everything the other does. We’re the type who would just sit in a lawn and talk about things until I decide to spew random bs

Seungkwan + Mingyu @jonghan / seungkwan + dino

we're the canon boogyu. my favorite chaotic duo and we two are like that, will constantly pull each other and just scream about things we love and just scream in general. will 100% irritate the heck out of each other. I already do that to her lmao. Remember that scene in battle trip of seungkwan sleeping in car while gyu drove but said nothing? That’s us. I’m sure she’d let me sleep then but then would burn me with it later lmao. Will 1000% clown each other. Also both hyper af.

Hoshi + Seokmin @kwanies

besties<3 similar tastes. loud and I feel like dumb at the same time too. share too many similar brain cells to the point you'll think did they copy-paste personality or what. i love her and how we bonded over true grime and gore. normal people don’t do it like us. our love for similar things is what <3333 to me.

Seungkwan + Vernon @svtreasure

pure love and concern and occasional bullying. kate and i's friendship is literally verkwan and i won't elaborate on that cause i feel it'll lose the meaning. plus we're the same age. ily

Dino + Hoshi @kwonthefire

each other's favorites. extremely fond of each other. will go to each other for constant reassurance when we're stressed. would call out for games. when she gets sick my older sibling thing turns on even tho I'm a single child. i will start spewing all sorts of home remedy shit to her. 100% needs to be protected this loud, rude, and best hooman. soonchan are extremely fond of each other, and that us.

#ask game #mailbox ♡#replied ♡#anonie #this was so fun but I had to rack my brain sm #sorry i couldnt post this yesterdayy

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takemyopenheart · 2 years ago

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What's your HC for the girl Tobias and Ethan fell for at med school?

Nonny, thanks sm for this question! I never gave it much thought, but this was fun to brainstorm! Who doesn’t love some messy drama 🤭

This is my Ethan x Tobias x Allison love triangle hc:

Ethan and Tobias met Allison Wainwright at a bar Hopkins students frequented.

She’s also a 3rd year med student and they all hit it off right away.

She’s newly single but not looking to jump back into the dating pool so soon.

The more Ethan gets to know her the more he becomes infatuated. She’s charismatic, clever, and witty with a dry sense of humor.

He’s smitten, but he keeps that to himself. He’s never been one to divulge to anyone whenever he’s interested in someone.

It’s been a few months since their initial meeting, and she’s talked about being open to dating again. Although school has made it difficult to date anyone long-term, he’s willing to give it a try with Allison.

He’s planning on asking her out the day after Tobias’s birthday celebration.

It’s the day of the party. They’re at their favorite bar surrounded by their med school friends, Allison is amongst them.

They’re all having a good time. At one point Ethan makes his way to the bathroom when he sees Tobias at a dark corner of the bar making out with someone. Typical Tobias.

He’s about to continue on his way when the light hits the mysterious person’s face and he realizes it’s Allison.

His stomach drops. Well, there goes his chance. Ethan racks his brain, trying to recall Tobias making his interest in Allison known.

Tobias is a natural flirt and he’s made comments about how attractive Allison is, but he never thought anything of it because Tobias has been reluctant to get into relationships in the past. He prefers keeping things casual.

So now Ethan has to come to terms with the fact that his best friend is fooling around with the woman he’s besotted with.

He feels conflicted, but if they’re into each other he‘ll step back.

Tobias leaves the bar with Allison and doesn’t come home to his and Ethan’s shared apartment until later that afternoon.

When they run into each other they talk about their fun night, and Tobias is the first to bring her up.

The wistful smile on his face as he talks about her is all Ethan needs to know that he’s too late.

They’ve both fallen for the same woman.

Tobias and Allison begin dating shortly thereafter.

Ethan feels guilty for that pang of jealousy every time he sees them together.

He feels like a bad friend for wishing she’d flash him that tender smile.

He’s not in love with her, but he certainly cares about her. Knowing she’s with Tobias prevents his heart from falling too deep.

Several months go by. They’re now approaching their final year at JH.

Ethan dates around to get over her, but it’s difficult when she practically lives at the apartment now.

Tobias’s flirty ways return when she’s not around, however, and it irks Ethan more than anything.

He confronts him about it and asks him whether he’s serious about her bc if he isn’t he needs to stop wasting her time.

Tobias brushes it off and tells him not to worry.

“Your relationship is none of my business, but I won’t stand by watching you do anything to hurt her. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Look, I’m new to this relationship shit. I know I’m not perfect. But it’s all just innocent flirting, all right?”

“If it’s so innocent why are you doing it behind her back?”

Tobias becomes annoyed and scoffs. “Okay, Dr. Relationship expert.” He air quotes. “I’ve had enough. I’ll be at the library. Or do you want to follow me there? Make sure I don’t cheat on my girlfriend?”

Ethan answers with nothing but a glare and Tobias leaves.

There’s tension in the air whenever they’re in a room together after that. They don’t hang out like they used to.

One day, Ethan comes home to find Allison alone in the apartment. Her eyes are puffy and red like she’s been crying.

He becomes concerned and sits down on the couch next to her and asks her what’s wrong.

She confides in him that she feels like Tobias is growing distant. He rarely takes her out on dates anymore and would rather hang out with his bar buddies.

That son of a bitch, Ethan immediately thinks to himself. This is exactly what he feared.

“Allison, you don’t deserve to be treated this way. You need to tell him how you feel. If he’s not willing to put in any effort then he’s not the one for you.” Neither am I, he doesn’t say out loud.

Regardless how pissed off he is at Tobias, he still considers him a friend, which means he’d never make a move on her.

As she takes a moment to process his words they hear the front door open.

Tobias walks in holding take-out food and his eyes land on his gf and best friend huddled close together on the couch.

“What is this?” He points between the two.

“Toby, we need to talk.” She gets up nervously and he notices her red-rimmed eyes. “About us,” she continues.

Ethan looks guilty as hell. And it dawns on him. “Are you leaving me for him?” he asks before he can think.

“What?!” Allison is appalled.

“What are you talking about?” Ethan asks, mirroring the expression on her face.

“You were so worried I was cheating on her, but you two were going behind my back, weren’t you?”

Ethan and Allison are flabbergasted and are quick to deny the accusation.

“Oh c’mon, I’ve seen the way you look at her. Tell me right now you don’t have feelings for her.” Silence. “Tell me!”

“That’s enough!” Allison interrupts, stepping between them. “I am not leaving you for Ethan. I can’t believe you’d think that of me. I was sitting here all by my lonesome after you canceled our date, only to find out from Facebook you’ve been with your friends. You said you’d be at the library, why would you lie to me? I don’t care if you want your space, but it feels as though you’ve been making time for them much more than you’ve been making time for me. So I brought up my concerns to Ethan. He was just being a friend.”

Tobias swallows, taking in her words.

“We’ll talk later. There are some things I need to think about,” she says and leaves.

The two men stand face to face in silence for a few seconds before Tobias speaks. “Was I imagining it?”

Ethan doesn’t need him to elaborate. He already knows he’s referring to the question he didn’t get to answer before Allison interrupted.

“I do. But that’s irrelevant.”

“I knew it. I thought you were my friend.”

“I am. Which is why my personal feelings are irrelevant. This isn’t about me. This is about you and Allison, and if you really care about her you either treat her like she deserves or you let her go.”

“Let her go so you can have your chance?”

“I thought you knew me better than that,” Ethan answers.

“We’ve always competed for the same things. Why not try to take my girl too?”

“Because you’re my friend.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Tobias retorts.

“Competing for the highest grade is one thing, but I would never come between you and your girlfriend.

“Whatever. I can’t even think straight, I’m out of here.” He walks out the door, leaving Ethan disappointed and disheartened.

Allison breaks up with Tobias the next day. His friendship with Ethan is no longer the same after that.

And it’s not long after that Tobias tries to sabotage Ethan’s interview for the spot on Naveen’s diagnostics team.

Allison was definitely better off without either Tobias and Ethan. Since Ethan was so committed to school, I don’t think it would have worked out between them had they dated instead. Tobias was really into Allison, but staying in a committed relationship at the time wasn’t in his cards, which is why he started straying in the relationship. He never physically cheated, but flirting was definitely not okay. He’s matured since then, and current-day Tobias would never treat a partner that way ever again.

Allison never spoke to Tobias after their breakup, and although she remained friendly with Ethan, they weren’t as close anymore. She later moved to Texas for her residency, became a successful doctor, and is happily married.

Tobias and Ethan were able to work things out all those years later, so they become buds again after Tobias joins Edenbrook.

Ahh, sorry this was so long!

#ethan ramsey #ethan q #ethan headcanon #tobias carrick

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nctsjiho · 4 years ago

Text

Relationships with: WayV

Click here for: NCT 127, NCT U, NCT Dream, WayV

Kun:

MOVE!

I-

These two~~~

Unexpectedly the duo you never knew you wanted needed

For the longest time they weren’t in any groups together and didn’t have many practises in common (besides NCT 2018 stuff)

They usually would just say hi in passing, but never really hang out if it wasn’t for multiple members going out to eat

But one day JiHo approached Kun asking him for a favour

He found out the reason why they didn’t talk a lot was because JiHo felt really shy around him for some reason

“I don’t know, I just felt too nervous around him” (JiHo during a random Vlive)

Near the end of 2020 a video got released on the NCT YouTube channel of JiHo singing with Kun accompanying her on the piano

You could somewhat say it was JiHo’s debut as a vocalist

Kun said that he didn’t see it as a favour, but that it was an honour JiHo chose him to do this with her (///.-) I’m not crying heh-

Ever since then they have been very comfortable around each other

JiHo praises him a lot on his vocals, piano and producing skills

Kun praises her on her vocals as well and has become another of her vocal coaches/supporter

JiHo said that if it weren’t for Kun, she would have never posted a vocal cover. “All the guys are supportive but Kun pushes me to better my skills so I can comfortably show them to NCTzens” ^^ I’m blushing this is cute

People ship them platonically after the cover and want them to put out more, but with both of them singing together

Ten:

Loves teasing JiHo

Dance partners

“JiHo is such a good dancer guys!” (Instagram Live with Yangyang)

Speaks up immediately when someone says something bad about JiHo

Jeno physically protects her, but Ten isn’t afraid to tear someone down with words (the members have to calm him down whenever it happens because he gets really worked up)

Jokes around a lot with JiHo during practise

Another one who brings out the chaos in JiHo

JiHo X WayV is just a bad idea in general, no manager can calm them down once they get started I feel sorry for the WayV managers

The two often butt heads, but they also make up quickly because they’re too close of friends <3

Learns her Thai and she’s pretty good!

Makes fun of her a lot though, but he also tells her how great she’s doing

Is happy that he’s no longer the person who knows the most languages in the group. During variety shows they test JiHo more often and he doesn’t have to rack his brain switching from language to language

Share mutual respect for each other

Winwin:

Has a soft spot for Winwin (like everyone else does) but isn’t overly affectionate and he appreciates that

Was awkward with JiHo for a while, but then she started learning Chinese. He noticed how much effort she put in to become accepted in NCT as the only girl. Now he doesn’t feel awkward anymore

He looks up to her because she’s so hardworking

Share a lot of cute fan favourite moments, usually where they are in the background of videos or vlives laughing together

They spent a lot of time practising dances together and said he’d like to dance together with her for an NCT Dance video

Lucas:

Robbed from being Dreamies together

Was sad he couldn’t join NCT Dream, but was about to sue SM for not letting JiHo be in Dream

Spoils JiHo a lot!

Gives her expensive gifts such as shoes, handbags, jewellery, etc. (she tells him not to but he still does anyway)

Only 1 year older but acts like JiHo is a baby

Lucas said that he wants to model with her for Vogue or Dazed or some fancy fashion magazine like that

Says that JiHo is the only one who matches his visuals

“I thought our members were good looking, but JiHo has set the bar too high and I think I’m the only one who’s up to her standards.”

JiHo will not for the life of her acknowledge the fact that he said that on national television (also disagrees because Renjun, Jaemin, Doyoung and Jungwoo exist)

JiHo calls Lucas Prince a lot, because she thinks he’s very handsome

JiHo sometimes ignores some of the boys’ calls, but answers Lucas every time, no hesitation

Is the one who called her Jihyun for a few months when he first got to know her, even though everyone kept on correcting him, he kept forgetting -_-

Now the members call her Jihyun teasingly

Xiaojun:

JiHo thinks he’s really cool

They always talk in front of the practise room, when one comes out of practise and the other was waiting to go in

Group members have to physically separate them, because they zone everyone else out when talking to each other

Love going out to eat together, or just go to a cafe and talk

JiHo will actually join WayV to visit Xiaojun while he’s filming a drama

(JiHo isn’t allowed to do that anymore, definitely after not telling one of her manager that she was flying to China to see Xiaojun, poor manager almost had a heart attack when he couldn’t find her and she didn’t pick up her phone for 3 hours ;;; )

Instagram pictures together <3

Domestic af, they look like they have been friends since birth

Hendery:

Cutely awkward together

Super giggly for some reason ^^

She’s the least close with Hendery out of all WayV members, but since she likes WayV so much she’s been hanging out a lot more with him and became closer

He’s really good at English so he helps her with her Chinese and whenever she gets tired of speaking Chinese he will switch to English or Korean (whatever works really)

Also one of the people who thinks she’s really cool and kind of intimidating

But off-stage she’s really sweet

Send each other a thumbs up after practise or when the other gets off stage

Ten and Kun said they want them to get closer because they are kind of similar

Yangyang:

Chaos-

Multilingual messes

JiHo completely understands German but before meeting Yangyang she never really tried speaking it before. She’s nervous to mess it up but Yangyang is really excited and helps her a lot with German. Since he also forgot a bit of German they take classes together

75% of her attention is taken up by Yangyang when JiHo hangs out with WayV

Exposes so much about JiHo on Vlive and Instagram (He got a warning by the managers to be careful because he might spill something that’s not supposed to be made public)

Legendary Instagram Live where the two of them were up until 3 am and were so sleep-drunk. JiHo couldn’t form a coherent sentence, mixing up every language she knew. Yangyang dissing his members and both of them laughing hysterically

The fans absolutely adore them and the members are absolutely terrified

Ten said that whenever JiHo’s with him and Yangyang, he can’t be with them for long or he’ll actually go insane

---

Side Note: my posts weren’t showing up in tags for the last 3 days so I contacted Tumblr and apparently it was a bug on their end. Luckily they fixed in in literally 10 minutes! In other words: I’m back to posting again!

If you have any questions/comments please feel free to let me know. I have a few posts ready to go already, so i’m excited!

#jiho.guide #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct female member #nct extra member #nct additional member #wayv fluff #wayv reactions #wayv imagines #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct reactions #kpop!addition #kpop!oc #kpop fluff

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ellewords · 4 years ago

Note

Heyyy Elle! It's me again! It's time for some timeskip!Hinata 😉

Hinata really enjoys a good party. What's not to like? Drinks, dancing, being with his friends... well, it is hard not to enjoy things when he, Bokuto and Atsumu are in one place. He enjoys being with you all the time... so yeah, he enjoys it a lot.

Also, he gets drunk pretty earlier than the rest of his friends. Like, two or three drinks (harder ones) later, he's slurring and swaying. And a couple more later, he's clinging to you like if he lets you go, you'd evaporate. And he becomes really philosophical when he's drunk. And he becomes this great fireball of energy (more than he already is), that you can't keep up with him. So you have to become the designated driver.

Does that irritate you? A tiny little bit. It's not like you didn't enjoy it. You did. Besides, when alcohol gets in his system, he becomes really honest. Charmingly so. And the way he looks at you, holds you close when you're dancing, whispering sweet nothings in a husky voice...☺

How could you be irritated?

— from elle ! omg hi,, pls thank you for giving me some timeskip!hinata aaaah my brain definitely had way too much fun thinking up scenarios for what you sent in !! my hinata brainrot is so incredibly strong now i love him sm >_< thank you for sending this in, i loved it ! <3 i decided to pick up where you left off for my lil addition :))

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

well, it was only the slightest bit irritating when you try to help him up the stairs to your apartment door. hinata’s mumbling on about it being the best party’s he’s ever been to, or how you should go to another one next weekend. meanwhile, you’re groaning as you tried to support his weight as hinata leaned onto your side, an arm around your shoulders.

truthfully, hinata could walk pretty fine on his own. but according to him, he was getting a little too tired. you just had to help him. and hinata was practically impossible to resist. not with those pleading eyes and adorable little pout, making you melt at the sight.

he lets you go once you reach the front door of your shared apartment, stepping back a bit so you can take the keys from the pocket of your jeans. and if you only turned to face him, you could’ve seen the goofy little grin that graced his face as he watches you do even the most mundane of tasks.

you don’t bother turning on the lights at full brightness, keeping everything relatively dim — letting the moon and the bright multicolored lights from the city enter the living room windows, illuminating everything just enough.

it’s quiet, half past midnight, all your neighbours should be asleep by now. possibly why you made sure to keep your steps as light as possible. you place your shoes on the shoe rack near the door and hang up your coat, ready to be engulfed by the warmth of your bed. it had been a long night. and as much as you enjoyed dancing with hinata, every single song that had played was upbeat and energy consuming.

“you ready to turn in for tonight?” you asked, only to find hinata looking at you.

it was almost weird, seeing him like this. just a few hours ago he was this crazy ball of energy that you were barely able to contain. now, he just stands there in front of you, hands in his pockets. there’s a softness in the way he looked at you, a serenity to him that you don’t often see.

hinata offers a hand out to you, “dance with me?”

“all we did tonight was dance.”

hinata shakes his head, moving towards you and pulling you close to him, leading you in what you think is a slow dance.

“we don’t have any music.”

he quickly resolves that, humming very close to your ear one of your favorite love songs. you let him sway your bodies softly, relaxing further into his touch.

“thank you.” hinata whispers, so quietly that you were barely able to pick up on it.

“for what?”

“everything.”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

a question: what are the hq characters like at a party? | written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs @mysticstrawberryballoon @cloudedsky_29 @sakusasimpbot

join my hq taglist here. <3

#hinata wyd 👀 lemme love you #read a thirty page article today and my brain is tired™️#turning in for tonight #gn everyone <33 #written on the margins 🔖#hinata scenarios #hinata x reader #🎐 — cloudedsky29! <3

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peppusae · 4 years ago

Text

How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you' | Chae Hyungwon pt 1

part: 1 of 3

other parts: pt 1 || pt 2 || pt 3

pairing: chae hyungwon x reader

genre: fluff, little slow-burn and angst, smut

word count: 5.6k words

note: i had a dream about this plot so i must write this because after this dream hyungwon became my bias wrecker and i cry about him every day since pls send help gbye

ugh i love him so much :(((

How to say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you'

What’s every kpop fan’s goal in life?

To meet their idols, attend a concert, and attend a fan sign, right?

Some others... They aim higher than that.

And you’re one of those people.

In fact, you love k-pop so much that you found your career took a whooping turn and you ended up majoring in language, for the very simple fact that you could apply to join an entertainment company and be a staff/writer, the latter which makes you feel the proudest of yourself.

But life….

Life can be super mean sometimes. And you learn this the hard way, when you get rejected by SM entertainment - your first and actually the only choice because you are a major Shinee fan and life is just NOT fair at all!

One way or the another, after multiple applying, you finally get a good job in another company - Starship Entertainment.

Now, Starship was definitely not one amongst your top 5 agencies. But you always try not to let that affect your work - and over time, you come to love your job.

Especially when you get assigned as Monsta X’s writer and interpreter.

You find the members of the group very very appealing, all of them having their own charms.

Hyunwoo, who goes by the name Shownu and has an appetite that makes everyone giggle; He is such a soft-hearted soul and you really look up to him because he is always kind enough to give you a hand if he finds you doing something like lugging some boxes around, and would give the prettiest eye smiles when he gets a compliment.

Hoseok, who goes by the name Wonho and is probably the person you would sacrifice everything for; because of the heartwarming smile he has to offer, the way he continuously asks you to go through the comments he received on his vlives, and would politely request you to review what fans are saying about him on his posts.

Kihyun, who is very much Korean down to the bone with his extremely polite mannerisms and the way he always makes sure the staff - you included - are always eating as well; even if it’s a show about them. And also, the way he had once asked if he was your bias, and looked shocked to hear he wasn’t - and then continued to do things to get your attention and ask “Am I your bias now?” in the middle, like an idiot.

Jooheon, who also occasionally comes to you and asks for mini English lessons, and then gets bored after learning two or three new words - and then instead likes to chat about random things like the cats he owns, and your line of cacti which he, for some reason, is obsessed with, and your chats with Jooheon usually end with a compliment battle, and he always made you feel proud because he always says that chatting about normal things like that always inspires him a lot too.

Changkyun, who you consider as your bias wrecker because he keeps his own cool, stays in his own bubble and get things done, and doesn’t brag; instead, he’s very gentle, always the first person to notice if you’re sitting out in the lounge by yourself racking your brains for new content, and uses you as a guinea pig for testing out his lame new puns or pickup lines.

And then… Hyungwon, who doesn’t talk a lot when he’s with the rest of the group, but you found to be startlingly talkative when he’s doing a solo vlive or with only a few members like either Shownu or Wonho. In fact, you remember being wide-eyed when he continuously chatted with his fans on a vlive for a whooping 2 hours, and you can’t forget the precious and warm smile he had on his face when you said you liked seeing him so lively and talkative.

“I have a lot of things up my sleeve which you probably don’t know that much about, [Name]-ah.” He had said that time, and sometimes, you can see the way his eyes would filter through the staff during shows and land on yours, and smile at you.

And finally, Minhyuk, who was your absolute favourite out of the entire group, your bias because he gets along so well with everyone, always making everyone - including the staff - laugh, and would not hesitate to call anyone out if they’re doing something they shouldn’t. It makes you giggle, the way he would approach you in the middle of a variety show shooting they’re doing and ask if you were the writer of the show and how you had the audacity to make them walk around like lunatics. He acts like a crackhead like that, but you’ve grown to be so attached to him when you realized that, beyond his bright personality, he also is an insanely sweet person; You found this out when you had mentioned applying to SM entertainment because Shinee was your favorite group ever, and Minhyuk -even if he asked how dare you talk about other men in his presence - met up with Shinee while hosting a show and got the members to sign, and even got Kibum, your Shinee bias, to sign you a message inside their recent album.

Undoubtedly, Minhyuk was your favorite, for a good reason.

But still, to be put frankly, Hyungwon was the member that has your heart, for the simple reason that he was so unpredictable and has his own sense of humour and personality.

Since you got assigned to work with Monsta X, your life has been a messy tangle of fun, a normal day being you having a chat with Hyungwon and then getting interrupted by Minhyuk who would have zero filters and ask “Are you two dating?”, which causes the two of you to flush red for no reason, while Kihyun would overhear this and say “Huh?! You’re picking him to date but you don’t think of me as bias material?”.

The cycle would be endless, with Wonho laughing while watching the entire scene unfold, while Jooheon would join in with Minhyuk while Shownu would butt in and say “Minhyuk-ah, we have to go back to practise now tho,” and Changkyun sticking his head out from his dorm room and saying he still has 5 more minutes to finish the session of his favorite game.

You’ve grown to love this cycle and it doesn’t feel like a job, doing something you love with good people to work with, and life has been even easier after you got a dorm room within the building.

So, even if you had a roommate - and she’s nice, just not too close - things at Starship has been working out well for you.

Your daily chaos started simmering down a little once the pandemic hit, and all of the staff got confined to their rooms for work.

Because some of the shows you’re writing the scripts for are getting approved easily, you feel lucky to be one of the few staff who is now allowed to go alongside the members when they’re out for shows.

The times when you’re working from your dorm room, you feel so tired - perhaps missing the chaos you were so used to for the past couple years.

One day, you get a kakao chat from Hyungwon, asking if he can come over to discuss something with you.

It’s early in the morning - 8:15 am, and you’re half awake but you let him in, trying your hardest not to yawn too much in front of the member you considered the most attractive from the bunch.

Your roommate, Dawon, was kind enough to clean up the room a little bit when you said Hyungwon was coming over - and you said it on purpose because you knew she called Hyungwon her type and admits to having a teensy crush on him even though she knows it won’t work out anyways.

Hyungwon is wearing a caramel sweater and grey baggy sweatpants, and it always warms your heart to see the boys dressed in comfy clothes because they have to spend so much time wearing clothes that probably look good but not feel as comfy.

“Hyungwonnie, come on in!” You greet him, and he reacts with a chuckle and he always does that ever since you started calling him by that nickname after the day he said you should use casual language with him.

Hyungwon gives a little nod to your roommate in acknowledgement, and waits until you draw the curtain separating the room, before he speaks.

“I have a magazine shooting next month, and these are the set of questions they’re gonna ask me.” He says, putting the big envelope he had in his clutches on the top of your desk after he takes his seat. “I need help coming up with answers.”

Hyungwon was usually one of the few members who always comes to use the opportunity; the artists are free to ask the writers for help with answers they’ll give for their interviews, and Hyungwon always makes full use of the opportunity, and Shownu and Wonho occasionally drop by too, as well.

You’re always happy to be asked for help, but today, you find yourself sweat-dropping at the thought. You were so sleepy, the only reason you’re not dozing off is because you had forced yourself not to sit down.

“Why?”

“What?”

“You’re usually always excited when I ask for something like this, so why today?”

Ouch. Sometimes, much like you can read the boy’s faces and know what’s going on, they can sometimes do the same for you, too.

“Well, you see....”

“Have you been getting enough sleep?”

Double ouch. You knew the boys - at least, most of them - were good observers, but you didn’t expect Hyungwon to catch on so easily.

“I actually do get enough sleep, but these days, I feel extra sleepy for an hour or so after I wake up.”

This makes Hyungwon chuckle, putting the papers back inside the envelope and turning back to you.

“Welcome to the life of every human being. You sound like you’ve been babied too much.” He has to say, and you watch the way he gets up from his seat and places the envelope inside one of your drawers.

“Let’s get some breakfast.”

“W-What?!”

This makes the male raise an eyebrow, glancing around the room as if he was unsure if it really was you who said that.

“You’re acting as if we have never gone out for a meal together.”

“Well…” You say, because you’ve actually gone with him a couple of times over the four years you’ve been assigned to them.

That was probably because the boys enjoyed ordering in mostly, and eating at their own free times.

Anyhow, it was only a few times, so it definitely did surprise you.

“Okay. Where do we go?”

“I’m in the mood for some eggs and sausages, do you have anything you want to eat?”

“Hey, we’re gonna split the bill okay!?” You hurry to race Hyungwon outside, who goes out in a very knowing way, one that was like a deja vu of the times when he’d butt in when you’re trying to innocently pay for your delivered lunch tray and he’d ask to tab it over to him.

Kihyun was right, he really was different from the way most Monbebe actually looked up at him.

At the restaurant, Hyungwon takes his mask off only after you two are seated at one of the sectioned booths and have ordered your food.

“The pandemic isn’t good, but this is the only thing that I enjoy about it.” He admits, eyes going over to the lack of people inside the place which would usually be filled to the brim with office workers trying to grab a quick breakfast.

“This pandemic has made me a sleepyhead like you.”

“Hey!”

You find yourself smiling so hard around Hyungwon because during breakfast and after you had forcibly paid for you two, on your way back when he offers to buy you coffee - and even remembers your usual order - and the next two hours he spent with you while you helped him write answers and edit what he wrote, it really does not feel like he’s a celebrity at all; but more so as a close friend who makes you feel warm in ways you’ve never felt before.

“Why?”

You snap out from your little trance and go back to typing your script on the laptop, when he interrupts you.

“Why are you smiling? What kind of madness of a show are you writing now?!”

“Hey! Don’t accuse me of writing madness when your Monbebe loves it so much!”

“Yah, that’s too much! Our Monbebe will love us anyway even if you show them us being normal!”

You giggle, because really. When has Monsta X ever been normal?

---

The next day, right after you wake up, you’re working on the itinerary for Monsta X’s upcoming vacation show - a little too late, you had to admit, and that too, when you’re feeling so desperately sleepy like you’ve been feeling lately every morning.

Dawon had gone out to grab breakfast with some of the other staff, and you’re munching on your melon bread, knowing well that the espresso shot you’ve had just a while ago won’t last you for more than 15 minutes.

And it doesn’t.

In fact, you’re actually snoring when your phone rings loudly, making you lift your sorry face up from your laptop keyboard and answering as soon as you pick up the phone.

“Yes, Manager-nim? I’ll send you the itinerary in fifteen minutes!” You say the impossible, because your task in barely done, and you had a feeling you’d fall back onto the laptop keyboard the second the manager hangs up the call.

The sound of familiar chuckling makes you raise an eyebrow and glance at your phone, horrified to see Hyungwon’s name on the display.

“I need it in ten minutes, not fifteen.” He says in a heavy voice, and it makes you huff in embarrassment, glad that he couldn’t see you.

“Very funny, Hyungwon. What did you need?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to wake you up.”

“I was up!”

This makes him laugh yet again, and you sigh, typing on the keyboard as you think about what good excuse you can say.

“If you were up, you wouldn’t have thought I was your manager.”

You let out a little groan, connecting your headphones to the phone so you could multitask while speaking to the male.

“Really, now, Hyungwonnie, what did you really want? Is there something you wanted to ask again?”

“No, I really just called to wake you up.”

“Well. Isn’t that sweet of you.” You say, sarcastically.

The mini banter and sarcastic comments continue for about ten minutes, by which you’d even finished up the itinerary.

So, even if he did laugh at your sleepyhead behaviour - as if he could talk - you made sure to thank him before you go out to take the printouts and finish off your task.

---

And then, that becomes a ritual.

Hyungwon calls you every day at 8 am, right when you’ve signed in for work and are about to head to get some coffee.

He makes small talk with you, talks about little episodes he’d had, and listens to your ideas.

After the first week, you don’t feel sleepy even if you don’t get the coffee; and you don’t even get sleepy after he hangs up.

Every day, it feels like he’s prepared something new, because he makes you laugh so hard that your sleep completely vanishes.

In fact, after a couple of days, he searches up English songs on Genie Music and sings, butchering up a lot of the lyrics on purpose - you know it’s on purpose because Hyungwon has a really good pronunciation when he tries.

One day, you’re butchering up the lyrics of a song along with Hyungwon while you’re writing talk segments for Monsta X’s comeback showcase. Your roommate has been giving you funny looks recently, especially after she asked who was calling you every day and you couldn’t lie and told her it was Hyungwon.

The sudden sound of your door flying wide open and a blonde Lee Minhyuk barrelling into your room makes you stop your singing.

“Oh. So it was you, huh.” He has to say, making himself comfortable on your beanbag chair, and drawing the cloth partition between your room when Dawon - your roommate - keeps staring.

Really, Minhyuk does not know what filters are supposed to be.

“What do you mean?” You ask, and from your headphone, Hyungwon hears his friend’s voice, so he dismisses the call after saying he’ll see you again later.

“So it was you Hyungwonie has been getting up every morning to sing his heart out, huh?”

You stare at him, baffled. “Well, he does sing some normal songs, but he mostly sings crack-”

“He usually never wakes up on his own even if he has schedules, and now he has an alarm to call you every day? What, are you guys dating or something?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, what are you saying!!” You hiss, horrified, because the cloth partition does little to block out sounds from the other side.

“I always tell people if they like someone, to stop being so obvious and just ask them out. It’s easy!!”

“It’s not easy and omg shut up!! He’s just calling me because he’s waking me up, he’s just being kind!”

“Hyungwon never wakes up for us, he’s never kind to us, then! And he’s always still sleepy even if he wakes you up, because he goes straight back to bed after he wakes you up!”

You sigh out loud in frustration, shaking your head. “Come on. What did you want, Minhyukkie?”

Minhyuk gives you a knowing smile before he shakes his head, handing you the binded notebook he had in his clutches.

“You’ll give me a read-over, right? I told you about the radio-show I’m gonna start hosting in a few weeks, right? The concept is clear, but I have some topics I want to talk about and I made some scripts about how I could continue the talk.”

“You got it. I’ll need some time, though, how does Thursday sound?”

“Perfect. Thanks!” He gives you a flying kiss that makes you laugh, and then he’s out as fast as he came barreling in.

---

You expected Hyungwon to stop the calling after the confining to your room rule gets lifted up and you’ve started to go to the office for work.

But he doesn’t, and he sounds as if he’s never been as prepared before as he is now.

Even when the comeback is near and he must be practising into the late hours of the night, he never misses a single day.

A few days before the comeback, you find him having lunch with Shownu, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him in a while - and you hadn’t seen his new hair till then too.

For the first time in the four years you’ve been assigned to work with Monsta X, you take a good look at Hyungwon.

A really, really good look.

At first, he hadn’t noticed you, and while you’re refilling your water bottle with chilled water, you notice the way he’s smiling a little while he listens to what Shownu is saying. The way he uses his hand to brush the fringe of his hair he’s dyed blonde is attractive for the first time - and you’d always thought he was a really, really handsome young man… But this is the first time he looks so attractive that you feel like you’re in a daze, staring at him until chilled water fills up your bottle and pours on your fingers, finally catching your attention.

What gives?

The little yelp you let out makes both Shownu and Hyungwon glance over at you - noticing you for the first time. Hyungwon’s eyes go wide, the top of his palm going up to cover his mouth.

“Ah, [Name]-ah. How are you?” Shownu calls over to you, ever so naturally, and you greet him with a smile when it looks like he’s motioning for you to come over.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you doing well?”

“I’m doing good, Hyunwoo-oppa. You guys must be working super hard for the comeback, right?” You say, glancing at Hyungwon, and for the first time ever, you think he’s actually… blushing ?!

It makes you flustered, thinking about what Minhyuk had talked to you about, while he accused you two of dating. Really, Minhyuk had no filters, it never fails to drive you insane sometimes.

“Yeah! You can expect a lot, please do support us a lot!”

You turn to look at Shownu, beaming at his friendly and charming smile before you excuse yourself and head back before you felt your head would explode.

Now, what the heck was that all about!?

Whatever it was, you were definitely going to blame Minhyuk for this!

---

It absolutely surprises you when Hyungwon doesn’t fail to call you, even the following morning.

You guess you had just imagined it in your head yesterday when Hyungwon looked flustered to see you.

Stupid Minhyuk! It was all in your head after all.

“Now that today’s dumb song segment is over,” Hyungwon says, after he sings a butchered up version of Pretty Please, “I’m gonna sing a song from our album!”

“Oh? Will that be okay?”

“Well, you’ll hear the album preview later today, so, why not?” He has to say. “It’s one of my favorites from the album.”

And then, he sings up to the second chorus of Beautiful Night - a song you fall in love with instantly, because the lyrics are so beautiful and Hyungwon sings as if he’s doing so with his whole soul. It almost makes your eyes teary, and you can barely tell him that you love it, before you have to excuse yourself with a little lie.

Since when did Hyungwon’s voice sound this emotional? It’s been over four years, but his voice has always been the same, beautiful voice as before. You open up Genie music, playing some of the older albums, listening to Hyungwon’s voice in the songs, and you feel like you’ve missed out this side of Hyungwon completely, this madly romantic side of him that sounds so sincere that it makes your heart race.

What is going on, seriously…

---

As the days pass by, the little tingle in your heart whenever you see or hear Hyungwon keeps on getting more and more painful.

In fact, by the end of Monsta X’s three-week promotions for Fantasia X, hearing Hyungwon singing songs for you become almost unbearably sad.

Despite having to wake up earlier, or even having to excuse himself in the middle of getting his hair and makeup done, he makes sure to call you - even if you’re sitting and listening to him when he’s in the same room as you are in.

You realize you can’t hold out your expressions if it’s in front of him, so you make sure to get up and go away somewhere when Hyungwon’s call arrives every day at 8 am on the dot.

It’s a warm Saturday morning, and you’re on your bed, your earpods on and listening to Fantasia X on Genie when Hyungwon’s call of the day arrives.

Today, it’s different.

Usually, he sings a trot song, or a really ugly version of an English song with the hopes of making you laugh so much that your sleep completely vanishes.

But today, he doesn’t say anything and immediately starts to sing soulfully; today, he sings Newton, one of your absolute favorite songs by the group, and…

The way he sings it is so, so sad .

Something inside your heart feels like it is burning, and unknowingly, your eyes brim with tears, because…

All the things Minhyuk had told you, all the things you’ve been thinking about Hyungwon lately, all the little glances he sends your way and then looks away when he sees you’re watching…

You feel your emotions going haywire, and your wishful thinking makes you start crying and you pray to god that Hyungwon, who’s singing the chorus so beautiful and sincerely does not notice.

It’s almost unbearable, and you take off your earpods and have him on speaker, thankful that he doesn’t notice you’ve reached for tissues to wipe your tears.

Since when did I start feeling this way about him?

How can I think this way about one of the members I work for?

Why does Hyungwon sing as if he’s singing just for me, and only me?

Why does it feel like we are never able to meet eyes now?

You have so many questions and no answers, and your hands are shaking as you try to press record on your phone because he sounds so, so beautiful and your crying is not helping you in focusing on his sincere singing.

It is at this moment that the door to your room flies open, and your roommate, Dawon enter the room, then freezes when she sees you crying.

“What’s going on?!”

You’re only able to hand over the phone to her, and mumble a little “Please record it for me” through your sobs.

Dawon looks very confused, raising an eyebrow when she looks at the receiver and sees that it is Hyungwon, on the call.

At that moment, Hyungwon wraps up his singing, clearing his throat a little and speaks for the first time today.

“[Name]-ah.”

You find yourself sniffling, glancing at Dawon who looks visibly upset now… and you can’t even blame her…

“[Name]-ah.” He calls your name again, and this is one of the things that makes you sad in regards to Hyungwon, because… He is a member of Monsta X, one of the manlier groups in the industry for sure, but… He’s so gentle and sweet, a kind-hearted soul, and he does not lack in anything, as he has proudly claimed so.

Even the way he calls your name out is so gentle that it makes more tears stream down your face, and you’re almost scared at how to answer whatever Hyungwon would ask from you.

“[Name]-ah. I have something I have to tell you, in person.”

Your eyes meet with Dawon, who now looks wide-eyed, and you were sure you would probably look the same.

“I… I have to tell you this in person, so, if you… If you’re willing, would you like to… go for dinner with me today?”

More tears stream down your face, and now you know you can never look Dawon in the eyes either so you bury your face on one of your pillows, heart aching too much to do anything else.

“Hyungwon-ssi.”

Dawon speaks into the speakerphone, and it makes you glance at her, wondering what she was going to say.

Hyungwon replies with a loud ‘Huh?’ in confusion.

“Hyungwon-ssi, I’m sorry, but [Name] is outside and she left her phone here.”

Dawon looks at you, lips pressed into a thin line. You feel so uneasy, and it felt like Hyungwon felt the same, because he starts to stammer.

“Wh-Wha? What?! If [Name] wasn’t the one who answered, then wh- Whaaaaa!” You hear a loud whine before the call gets disconnected with a quick mumble of “Sorry!”.

Dawon hurls the phone at your bed, and leaves the room without a word, and it pains your heart so much that you feel like you’ll die.

A text message pops up on your phone a little while later and seeing the text makes you feel a little dizzy, even.

‘If you’re freely going to allow other people to roam through your phone even, I don’t think I have any other choice but to come to see you right away.’

What?

Wait, does he mean-

You hurry to grab your phone and iPad, wiping your face as best as you could and going out of your room. You find Minhyuk and Kihyun using the Xbox in the lounge, so you quietly take a seat near them, greeting them and opening up your iPad without another word.

“[Name]-ah, why do you look so weird?”

“Yah, Minhyuk, how can you say something so rude?!”

You shake your head and give a weak smile at the two, opening up your notepad and leaning against the couch.

A moment passes by, and Minhyuk moves closer to you on the couch, so close that you actually move a little back as well.

“What?”

“I finished my game with Kihyunnie. So. Why? Why do you look so sad? Did Hyungwonie hurt you?”

Now, you’ve been doing a good job of not crying since you got out of the room, but seeing Minhyuk’s worried face and then remembering Hyungwon’s words - along with Minhyuk hitting a bullseye right away… All of that combine together and it makes you start to cry again.

“Wha? Hey?!” Minhyuk looks very startled, and he usually never looks surprised like he doesn’t know what to do, but today he looks like he’s at a dead end, and you allow him to grab your hand and tell Kihyun he’ll be right back, before he hurries to drag you over to the other end of the lounge near the vending machines.

“Yah, what is going on with you lately? Hyungwon really said something mean to you, didn’t he? Sheesh. Acting like he’s in love with you and then making you cry like this? I didn’t expect him out of everyone to behave this way.”

The more Minhyuk spoke, the worse you felt, and you’re barely able to ask him if he could be kind enough to leave you alone for a second when you hear a familiar voice calling your name.

“[Name]-ah…. Minhyuk-ah?!”

You and Minhyuk glance up to see Hyungwon approaching you, and you hurry to take your hand away from Minhyuk’s clutch.

Really, Hyungwon couldn’t have caught a worse timing.

Minhyuk shoots you a sad look, then gets up from his seat, goes to say something to Kihyun, then the two of them leave while Kihyun glances at you with a worried look on his face. You can’t get yourself to look at Hyungwon, so you’re looking at your hands, fingers fumbling while Hyungwon stands in his spot in front of you, not saying a single word.

More tears fall down your face when you remember Minhyuk’s words - and how wrong was he to assume the worst from the sweetest person you know, and it pains your heart because you knew if you looked in his eyes, you wouldn’t be able to stop crying.

“Why?”

Hyungwon says a single word, and honestly, that was the only thing you didn’t have an answer for.

Why were you crying?

You didn’t know.

Why can’t you look at Hyungwon?

You had no clue.

Why did Minhyuk know right away?

That too, you didn’t know at all.

Why can’t you answer him?

You had no reason.

So instead, you find tears streaming down your face, and you wish you could leave, but you felt like you owed Hyungwon at least this much, to hear what he had to say even if you felt like something was cutting through your heart.

“Stand up.”

It’s the first time you’ve heard him ask you to do something in that voice, an angry, impatient voice you’ve never imagined you’d ever be on the receiving end for.

“[Name]-ah.”

You hum in response, eyes on the ground. Hyungwon lets out an exhale and you can feel your hands trembling because it’s while you’re looking at his shoes with an aching heart, that you realize something you’ve been wishing so hard was not true.

You were in love with Chae Hyungwon.

Out of completely nowhere, so naturally.... You were so madly in love with Chae Hyungwon; so much that looking at him now would be too much to take, now.

“You heard everything I said, didn’t you?”

Now, that’s something you didn’t expect to hear from him. He had sounded so worried and embarrassed on the phone so you didn’t think he would have any suspicious, but here he was, showing you that he certainly did.

It makes you look up at his face for the first time today, and it pains your heart.

It paints your heart, because he’s wearing clothes with a lot of creases - something he’s been wearing to sleep, and he has on a beanie that covers most of his messy-looking hair, and he’s looking at you with puffy eyes and a frown that hurts so much to look at.

You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore so you shake your head in response. Hyungwon looks visibly disappointed, like he knew right away that you were lying. You think he has something more he wants to say, because his lips part a little… And then, he lets out a sigh and shakes his head as well.

“If you are this burdened by how I feel, then…” Hyungwon’s voice trails off, taking a step back and then turning around. You watch the way he walks out of the lounge without a word, and if you felt like you’d never been more hurt before, you were completely wrong, because nothing pained your heart more than watching the male leave like that, as if he had so much to say and couldn’t…. Just like how you felt while you sink back on the couch and cry your heart out.

And from that day onwards, Hyungwon doesn’t call you again.

-----

#hyungwon #chaehyungwon #monsta x #monsta x hyungwon #fluff #slowburn #pls help i love hyungwon so much

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hinac0lada · 4 years ago

Text

somber

CHARACTER PAIRING: sugawara koushi/reader NOTE: i tried to do something new!! // listen to this song too, it’s where i got inspo for the title hehe my love for koushi reignited, so pls take this fic as a very self-indulgent piece ;3 [ banner made by me! ] anyways! i wanna thank everyone in cheese cult - y’all so nice ily all sm<33 WC: like, , 2.2k words pls give love</3 WARNING/S: contains fluff, angst, suggestive themes CHEESE CULT TAGLIST: @cupofkenma @bubbleteaa @milkandc00kiez @writingsbycrackhead @fern-writes-ig @pineapplekween @kxgeyamasmilk GEN TAGLIST: @fitriiaw @idiot-juice-enthusiast

there was a side to you that sugawara koushi couldn't quite place his hands-on. it irked him in a way that he can't exactly explain. to put it thoroughly, it's like comparing misleading signs - signs he couldn't read. there was a partial thought in the depths of sugawara's mind, will i be in too deep?

he certainly hopes not. it will be a struggle for sure, begetting to deal with taking risks and caching his feelings in check.

though, in parallel to both his heart and mind, he doesn't mind taking flight in either.

coming over your place was like a natural thing sugawara affixed to his routine after school hours, something nearly akin to second nature. he needn't have to ring the doorbell or knock at the door to have you alerted of his presence. you gave him a spare key after all. he enters your modest residence as if it was his place that he just resided in. he tries to be patient and earnest about it, but fatigue trailing after him like an endless marathon socked him in the face before he could utter words.

the silver-haired setter plants face-first on the soft material of your cushion couch, breathing in the fragrance of the freshly cleaned cute throw pillows you had on for display. he faintly recalls your lavender-like scent, mixed with a tinge bit of vanilla and mocha - a smell so distinct that it essentially revulsed him at how quick he was to recognize the fading scent.

it was perplexingly heartening in his weird ways. (why wouldn't it be, it's your stuff after all)

the sound of the door clicking minutes after his arrival didn't go unnoticed. "ah, sugawara, i didn't expect you to be here so soon," your voice sounded muffled in his ears at how he's buried two pillows against the sides of his face. he'd assumed you to be late (like you always were), so it wasn't a big deal that he constantly manages to somehow get to your home first before you do.

"i thought you had practice today?"

"we do. just need to charge up for now.. not much to make do since finals are coming up and all," was his muffled reply. that was just a simple white lie. he did have practice today - it's just that he was trying to come up with numerous justifications of why he's late. (that or he just wanted to spend a couple of hours lounging about in your home)

you huff at his slothful disposition. you sometimes think sugawara is a little too comfortable with you letting him barge in your house like he even pays for rent. sure, the company he gives you is lively, but you considered having him pay for using you as a live source for shelter and food.

even with that kind of reasoning, you don't exactly mind nor were you gonna lament.

"humph!" sugawara makes a surprised noise as you jumped on top of him, your weight burying him further on the plushness of the couch. his muffled protests that reached your ears sent you into a fit of small giggles, a free hand coming down to ruffle his blanche, soft and unruly hair.

"(n-name)--! mhmmp!"

"what was that? sorry, i can't hear you over the sound of your anguish," you snorted, adding a small bounce from your position to add on the burden he feels with you on top of him.

by now, sugawara was wearied enough just let you do this. it's fine, just harmless fun. but when suffocating between the couch and a long-time crush and having to choose between air and you - you ought to have another thing coming. within minutes of you cackling like mad, he's pulled off the pillows beside him, successfully managing to hit you with one square on the face before he tackled you on the opposite side of the couch.

your chortles were rashly cut short by a surprised yelp and a force that pushed you off on your back. sugawara towered over your figure, triumph evident on his features. you stared right back with slight annoyance and a small blush coating your cheeks. this was new.

"i thought i told you to not suffocate me between your couch anymore, (name)," he sticks his bottom lip out in a small pout. his little complaint only had you rolling your eyes, a chuckle slipping past your lips as you slapped a hand underneath his jawline, moving his face up and away from yours.

"when have i ever, suga? i don't think i can recall," you subtlely tease him. it was just too fun to poke fun at sugawara - especially acknowledging the fact that he might've purposely came over first instead of going to practice.

he whines, attempting to slap away your hand. instead, he promptly leans his entire weight on you, head finding solace within the soft material of your clothing. it occurred to him that you still haven't changed from your uniform, but he didn't bother commenting on it either.

the two of you laid in comfortable silence for a while. that was until you broke it.

"do you wanna kill some time watching a movie?"

"what kind?"

"anything you want. i'm fine with whatever."

"how about someone great? i haven't watched that yet," sugawara smiles, lifting his head as stares down at your face. you smile back, closing your eyes as a soft chuckle emits from your throat.

"i don't mind."

you two somehow ended up cuddling in the middle of the movie. sugawara questions his morals. it's purely platonic, right? they're best friends, there's nothing else to it. sugawara mostly says this to himself in his head to convince himself that cuddling can be platonic.

he just wished he could stop thinking of it as something more.

minutes in the movie, he finds himself relating to jenny. it's ironic. maybe he only feels that way because the story is told in her perspective. nothing that derives from his feelings.

however, something about this moment seemed peculiar to the silverette. he didn't know if it was just him or how your features seemed to be enhanced upon closer inspection.

you were always beautiful in his eyes. he found himself drowning in the warm, earthy tones of your delicate skin. with your hair sprawled out on the surface of the sofa, contrasted by the sheen ruffles of your clothes.

you just looked so innocent, so serene. sugawara knows he shouldn't have. he should've had more self-control.

but he loses it when he's around you.

he quickly leans down with a puff of excitement growing inside him while tilting his head to the right. his wet lips capture yours, gliding over smooth contrasting with chapped lips. sugawara pulls and bites on your bottom lip, eliciting a pleased sigh from you. his hands squeeze your hips, tongue tracing over your lips for sweet entrance.

surprised, you grant access, letting him invade your mouth with a versatile tongue, his mouth sucking on your tongue felt like heavenly feathers. your lips smacked against his, pulling apart warm and wet tongues before darting back in with even more vigor. the intensity develops - heartbeats clamoring with painful bliss against your ribcages. you didn't pay attention to the movie anymore, too engrossed in each other's euphoria to divert consideration elsewhere.

this was wrong. sugawara knew that. but he couldn't pull himself away - not yet. the feeling of your body so close to his felt so right. you pull away first, lungs hopelessly and greedily sucking in the air but this was short-lived as his hand only pushed your head back, with noses bumping as he further divulged into the frenzy hot, steamy kiss with a groan.

he couldn't get enough.

it was sort of surprising as to how he was the first to pull away. a dense tint of red adorned his cheeks, breath heavy, and pupils blown wide wistfully as he sought to steer his gaze away from your plump and oh-so red lips. the sight burned itself into his mind. underneath him with half-lidded eyes, you took in gasps of air, chest rising up and down from how wild and the present fierceness behind it just blew you away.

sugawara shifts away from you, his body heat leaving yours had you feeling cold. "i-i.." he stammers, words clogged up as his mind was still fogged up with the steamy makeout that just happened. he couldn't get it off his mind. (what was he thinking?)

your gaze was fixated on nothing, still too lost from the hysteria and the feeling of his mouth on yours just a moment ago. it didn't submerge in till he stood up with haste from the sofa, bowing his head while he repeatedly apologized for his brash actions all the while with a flustered and guilty expression.

"i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry! i don't know what came over me--! i'm sorry if i made you feel so uncomfortable!" with hasty movements, he gets up and picks up his things. a part of him is dying with embarrassment and screaming that he needs to leave, while the other wants to stay and discuss what the hell just happened.

you, on the other hand, were silent as a rock. you held up a hand to your lips, tracing over remnants of his margin on yours - the boundary between you two felt suffocating.

when you still didn't reply, he ends up leaving anyway, with a false promise of seeing you another day along with another wave of apologies. you still stayed starstruck on the sofa, hand hovering over your mouth.

your lips tingled and the memory of the kiss had the apples of your cheeks blossom with a cherry red tint.

sugawara had been avoiding you for nearly a week since the happy accident that happened at your house. you asked (keyword; tried) daichi and asahi on why the third year acted this way. they both shared the same answer.

there was too much at stake.

you racked your brain to understand their vague answers, but none of which you thought could help you with your dilemma. this was stupid. it was just a kiss (tl; a heavy makeout session). why did he spare the need to talk about it? you decided enough was enough. you had - no, need to confront him now.

you pleaded daichi to have sugawara excused for a while just so you could talk. the former seems to have no qualms in letting the aforementioned male. daichi mentions sugawara himself has been feeling quite down in the dumps. he profusely requested that you make amends with the setter. it was disheartening to see the usually jovial and tranquil male all grim.

"sugawara, please," you stop the male as soon as he exited the main building. he tried desperately to avoid you all week. this is, yet again, the same mistake he's done before. running away when confronting your souls.

"we should talk about it."

"talk about what? there's nothing up for discussion." stop avoiding the topic.

"no, as a matter of fact, there is. what's with you? why have you been avoiding me all week-" you place a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched at the touch. you took a step back with eyes filled with a weary, hurt, and guilty conscience.

sugawara thinks point on black and white. he couldn't begin to explain why he did that nor does he want to. things won't be the same anymore.

you sigh heavily, head tilting down to glare harshly on the ground near the soles of your feet. "what are we, koushi?"

i had hoped something more, "we're just friends," he swallowed down the spite in his throat.

"what kind of friends do that kind of thing?" the chuckle that left your mouth had no humor to it. dusky irises trailed over your plethoric lips once more, recollecting the kiss yet again. sugawara mentally scorns himself.

"it's not worth the fight, koushi." you try and meet his eyes in which he reciprocates with a gaze filled with anxiety and guilt. you take a hold of his hands, rubbing circles on his knuckles - something you usually did to calm his nerves. his lips quivered as he forced himself to let go. to let you go.

unspoken words met with an umbra of fleeting eyes. there's no turning back. sugawara didn't want to risk losing something great. someone like you, at the very least.

"i'm sorry," he lowly mutters, letting go of your hand as he slowly turns towards the other direction, already yearning for your touch on his arm. it had to be this way, right? there wasn't a time where sugawara neglected to count all of his mistakes.

mistakes of one in a million.

you felt small as sugawara slowly but surely slipped away from your grasps. with a weak voice, you called out to him, in hopes that he'd answer your calling and return once more to your arms. although his retreating figure showed no assurance of such, you wished you could've thought of ways to seek closure.

just one more kiss. one more cuddle. one more possibility to make amends that you hoped to be endless. but those possibilities only made chances for you and him - not you together.

#sugawara kōshi #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq x reader #hq x you #hq sugawara #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara #sugawara fluff #sugawara imagine #sugawara fic #sugawara angst #haikyuuwritersnet

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got7-poetry · 5 years ago

Text

Eternity

Pairing: Bambam X Jungkook

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Word count: 7,615

Summary: Jungkook meets the most stunning looking man he has ever seen and falls for him, hard.

Warnings: Oral sex, anal sex, anal fingering, starvation, sleep deprivation, lots of crying, unnecessary amounts of love, attempt at some amount of humour

[a/n]: This is my first ever GOT7 fic so please be kind :) I have a BTS blog as well that you can check out, this fic is also posted there: @bts-poetry. I hope you enjoy it!

The rows of colourful, flashy clothing in front of Jungkook did little to ease his tension. Jungkook hated shopping for clothes that weren't cargo pants and oversized t shirts, all in black, of course. But his best friend had decided to host a big party to let idols mingle and get to know eachother and he insisted that Jungkook also come, even though he really didn't want to.

Being such a fancy event, he realised he didn't have anything appropriate for the setting and went out to a luxury mall is Seoul that idols like him visited often. He stepped inside the first store that looked appealing, not that he cared about the price of anything, being one of few people his age who held a black card. The racks of jackets and shirts covered in sequins and glitter left him dazed.

He picked one shirt in a deep red colour that looked moderately sober along with a pair of plain black pants and a black embroidered blazer and was heading for the changing rooms when a man clad in the most outrageous outfit Jungkook had ever seen, stepped out.

The man in question wore a black suit covered in gold crystal work and black skinny jeans along with white heeled boots and a thick Cuban link chain around his neck. His silver blond hair was styled perfectly, as if he was to step on to a runway immediately. He twirled around, checking his outfit out in a mirror nearby as the shop staff complimented his choice.

Jungkook was shocked to say the least. He had never seen a man as beautiful as the one in front of him. He knew that the man was probably a model or something but he was so incredibly captivating that Jungkook couldn't help but stare. It was when one of the staff told him that the dressing room was free, that he snapped out of his trance and hurried away.

The outfit fit Jungkook well, he had to admit, the pants defining his storing thighs nicely. He stepped out of the room to look in one of the big mirrors when he heard someone clapping. Jungkook turned around to see the man from before sitting on one of the couches that was scattered around the store. He was holding a glass of champagne in one hand, courtesy of the staff with one leg folded over the other.

"That blazer looks nice on you" The silver haired man commented. He stood up and made his was towards Jungkook and pulled on the lapels of his blazer, smoothing them in place. He walked away for a moment before returning with a pair of Louboutins and Jungkook wordlessly put them on. While he was tying the laces, the man got him a simple chain with a pendant made up of two snakes and fastened it around his neck.

"What do you think?" The man asked, standing behind Jungkook as he stared at himself in the mirror. The few odd corrections that the man made including fixing his collar and getting him a new belt really brought the look together.

"It looks great, thank you.." Jungkook trailed off. He realised he didn't even know the name of the man in front of him.

"I'm Bambam, nice to meet you" The man offered his hand which Jungkook accepted. He knew he had heard the name somewhere and took a moment to recall it.

"You're the rapper from GOT7, right? I'm Jungkook, the pleasure's all mine" He said with a small smile. Bambam nodded, affirming his suspicions and confirming that he was in fact the famous Thai rapper who had taken over the K-pop industry with his charming personality and stunning looks.

"I saw you staring earlier. See anything you like?" Bambam winked and twirled around once more, showing off his outfit. Jungkook felt his throat go dry suddenly as he admired the sliver of Bambam's exposed chest that he saw due to the lack of shirt material to cover that position of his body.

"I've never been a person who dresses super flashily so I was just surprised when I saw you in that jacket" Jungkook muttered, scratching the back of his neck. Bambam gasped, feigning offence.

"Are you calling me flashy?" He questioned Jungkook who didn't know how to reply. He didn't mean to offend Bambam, the words just came out wrong. The confused expression on Jungkook's face made Bambam chuckle.

"I'm just kidding, I'm well aware that I'm flashy but I like to think of it as being 'extra'" Bambam replied before turning his wrist to check his watch.

"I'm so sorry, I have a meeting to attend in half an hour and I need to bill all this stuff so I'll see you around?" Bambam didn't want for a reply before rushing off, leaving Jungkook in a mix of emotions. No man had ever taken Jungkook's breath away like this. He was quite the talker and loved flirting with hot men and women. People were usually intimated by his aura. Bambam on the other hand seemed completely unbothered by it.

After paying for all the clothes, Jungkook headed home, his mind still stuck on the silver haired man and his beautiful voice. He thought of Bambam's plump lips and definitely hoped to see him around. Jungkook looked him up that night and listened to a few songs of his. Not only was Bambam incredibly good looking, he was a really good musician too.

A week later, Jungkook found himself surrounded by friends and strangers at the party he had been dreading to go to. He was sipping on his third champagne of the night and couldn't wait for it all to get over. Taehyung, his band mate and best friend dragged him to meet some friends an Jungkook was forced to oblige.

"Hey guys, this is Jungkook, my best friend and out golden maknae" He introduced Jungkook to a tall man with a light tan and two moles on his eye. Jungkook bowed to greet the man who introduced himself as JB.

"Yugyeom! Go call Bam and Youngjae" JB shouted to a guy who looked about Jungkook's age but was incredibly tall and fair. He returned with two other men, one of whom looked familiar to Jungkook. Bambam smirked at Jungkook as JB introduced them to one another.

"Jungkook, this is Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae. Three of you, this is Jungkook" He said before stepping away to let the four of them to get to know each other. Jungkook found out he had a lot in common with Yugyeom. Aside from being the maknaes, both of them shared a love for traditional Korean food and bowling.

Youngjae was a fun and bubbly guy. His laugh was absolutely contagious and Jungkook couldn't help but laugh along to the bad jokes that he made. Bambam stayed oddly quiet during the whole conversation till Yugyeom and Youngjae were called away by Shownu of MONSTA X for a photo.

"Not going to say anything to me, are you?" Bambam asked. Jungkook didn't know what to say for the millionth time. He never knew what to say around Bambam and he had only met the man twice.

"Dance with me?" Bambam offered and Jungkook just nodded dumbly. Bambam turned around to let his back rest against Jungkook's chest before placing his hands on his waist. They both danced to the beat, Bambam more confident than Jungkook as he sang off key to the songs being played.

Jungkook's hands stayed put exactly where Bambam placed them, making the silver haired man annoyed. He turned around to look Jungkook in the eye.

"Are you interested or is it just me?" Bambam asked frankly and Jungkook's brain short-circuited. His mouth opened but no words came out and Bambam looked at the man, defeated, before walking away.

It took Jungkook a few minutes to process what happened but he chased after Bambam the moment he did. He looked for the shorter man everywhere but he seemed to have gone missing. Feeling disheartened, Jungkook made his way to the roof of the building to catch some fresh air.

When he reached their, he spotted a familiar gold jacket. Bambam was sitting alone, staring at the night sky. Jungkook quietly sat down next to him and placed his hand over the other's hand.

"I'm sorry I'm not good with words. I've just never seen someone as stunning as you and you just take my breath away. Yes, I'm interested. I would love to get to know you" Jungkook said, refusing to look Bambam in the eyes.

"You're such an idiot" Bambam said before holding Jungkook's face in his hands and crashing their lips together. Jungkook froze for a second but he wasn't going to mess up again and kissed back with fervour. The made out for god-knows-how-long before calling it a night. Jungkook dropped Bambam back to his place since his band mates had already left.

"You're picking me up at 7pm tomorrow" Bambam said as he stepped out of the car.

"I am?" Jungkook questioned. They hadn't spoken of going out on a date but apparently Bambam had decided of his own that they are.

Jungkook made sure to finish his entire schedule by six the next day and rushed back to the dorms to get ready. He spent half his time deciding whag to wear and settled on a pair of jeans, a button up and a bomber jacket all in black.

He quickly fixed his hair and put on some of his favourite perfume before searching for his favourite earrings and putting them on. A little bit of foundation and eyeshadow later, he threw on his black Balenciaga's and ran out the front door.

He reached Bambam's building by 6:55 and waited for him to come down. At dot seven, the man in question emerged and Jungkook's jaw dropped. Bambam wore a black t shirt with skinny jeans, silver heeled boots, a white, brown and blue bomber jacket and a pair of tinted sunglasses. Layers of chains dangled around his slim neck. His hair was styled perfectly and not a single strand of hair was out of place. He smiled at Jungkook as he opened the door of the car and sat down next to him.

"Is there something on my face?" Bambam asked, a smug smile on his face. The question made Jungkook realise that he was staring. He just shook his head, too shy to speak. Bambam looked annoyed at the lack of a reply.

"Will you keep quiet the entire time? I'd much rather go on a date with a bottle of wine if that's the case. At least that would be more interesting" Bambam said with a sad chuckle.

"You can't blame me for not being able to say anything because it's your fault. You need to stop being so perfect for a few minutes for my brain to make cohesive sentences unless you enjoy watching me make a fool of myself" Bambam burst out laughing and that caused a light blush to coat Jungkook's cheeks.

Dinner was a lot of fun. The boys went to a fine dining restaurant and ordered fancy food that was really expensive and not that tasty. After having eaten almost no food and having spent a lot of money, Jungkook suggested to head to a local ramyun shop where they ended up feasting on some cheap kimchi ramyun and two bottles of soju.

"I've never had a date like that. I'm telling you that ramyun place is a hundred times better than the stupid restaurant" Both of them were tipsy but neither was drunk. The liquid courage allowed Jungkook to open up a bit in front of Bambam

"I decided to take you there cause you look like someone why likes to be wine and dined. I'm never taking you out for dinner again, we'll just ordered take out and watch movies" Jungkook muttered making Bambam laugh.

Jungkook could swear on his life that he had never heard anything as beautiful as the silver haired boy's laugh. He had heard some of the best singers in the world thanks to his profession but the way he felt butterflies in his stomach at the sound was surreal.

"I love the gesture but make sure to read the Yelp review before taking me out next time. Also take out and movies sounds better to me. How about we do that tomorrow?" Bambam suggested.

"Calm down, I've literally known you for three days and you're already sounding desperate, geez" Jungkook joked. Deep down he knew that he was just as desperate to meet Bambam. He wanted to see that man everyday of his life. Jungkook had never felt so special in his life the way he did with Bambam.

"Hey, don't lie, you also want to see me. You make me laugh and you're unimaginably cute so I want to hang out with you but you're also really hot and I really want a bit of that ass so I want to date you" Bambam said, his voice a mix of humour and uncertainty.

"First of all, I never thought you'd like my ads that much, but I'm flattered. Second of all, it's me who is getting your ass, not the other way round" Both the men giggled like school girls as they walked back home. They had decided to ditch the car since the weather was cool and the night was beautiful.

"So tomorrow my place at six. Don't be late" Jungkook gave Bambam a gentle kiss on the lips but before he could turn around to leave, Bambam gripped the collar of Jungkook's jacket and pulled him back in, kissing him harshly. By the time both of them pulled away, they were breathless, their lips red and swollen.

At dot six the next day, Jungkook rang the bell outside Bambam's apartment. He had arrived five minutes early and waited outside so that he wouldn't be late. The door unlocked and Bambam let Jungkook in. The latter took off his shoes and took a moment to admire the house.

Bambam's house was a lot like his personality, unpredictable. It was a weird juxtaposition of loud and minimalistic. The main colour palette was made up of blacks and whites but the cat beds were all bright colours. Bambam's many cats sauntered around the living room and the man bent down to pet them every now and then.

Bambam was dressed in what Jungkook called the "casual bam" look. He wore a plain blue turtle neck sweater with large circle thin rimmed glasses and black track pants.

Jungkook had involuntarily matched the outfit, himself dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and black track pants. He helped Bambam carry the bowls of popcorn and chips along with bottles of soju and glasses to the center table in the living room. A large TV covered one wall of the room and a large sofa sat facing it.

"Pick whatever you want to watch, I don't really care" Bambam said before heading back inside. Jungkook scrolled through the films and chose 'Avengers: Age of Ultron' because it was one of his favourite movies of all time. Bambam returned shortly after with a few flyers from local take out places.

"What are you in the mood for?" The silver haired man asked. Looking through the flyers, Jungkook found what he was looking for. Chimaek or chicken and maekju (Korean beer) was one of Jungkook's favourite food combinations.

"How about some chimaek" Jungkook asked and Bambam nodded enthusiastically, saying that he loved the combination. Unfortunately there was no beer at home so Bambam ordered some from the chicken place itself and called up his security guard to pick it up to maintain his privacy.

The two men started watching the film, sitting on either ends of the small couch but as the movie went on, the distance between them reduced. At some point Bambam grabbed a fluffy blanket and threw it over both of them. By the end of the night, Bambam say with his head against Jungkook's chest and the latter's hand wrapped around the smaller man.

"You're really beautiful, you know?" Bambam whispered. Jungkook couldn't resist and placed a small kiss on the smaller man's forehead. Bambam closed his eyes tightly at the action and let out a sigh.

"Maybe but you're the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life" Jungkook confessed. They may have only known each other for a few days but were falling for each other so quickly that they couldn't believe it themselves.

Despite really wanting to stay over, Jungkook returned to the dorms that night. They both took a moment to speak about what was going on between them and realised that things were happening too quickly. They promised each other that they would take their time to get to know each other before going further.

Even though their busy schedules left them exhausted and without much free time, they had found a rhythm that worked. They met often and went out for dates. It could be as fancy as bar dates at high profile places to as simple as cuddling in bed, reading together.

Every moment Jungkook spent with Bambam, he felt alive in a way he never hand felt before. Even at the young age of 23, Jungkook was always busy with no time for himself. But Bambam changed everything. Through the silver haired man, Jungkook found a part of himself he had buried deep down within. Bambam made him want to be a better person.

Bambam on the other hand felt like he had found his light. As fun loving and carefree as Bambam was, he had a dark side of him full of insecurities and secrets. That part of him ate him on the inside, it made him feel alone and undeserving. But Jungkook made him feel loved, wanted, appreciated.

They both had completed each other as if they were two puzzles with a single missing piece and somehow they fit into each other perfectly. They were meant for each other, it felt like the universe wanted that too.

It was a cozy mid spring evening and Jungkook had decided that he wanted nothing more than to play some music on the speaker in his living room and dance with Bambam. The silver haired man liked the idea and agreed, tapping his feet to the beat, still dressed in pajamas from a day of lazing around.

Things weren't sexual at all between the two men. Jungkook played peppy numbers from both of their discographies like "Attack on Bangtan", "Never Ever", "Go Go" and "Thursday", songs meant to be mindlessly fun.

In those moments, as the diminishing sunlight fell on Bambam's ecstatic face, Jungkook knew that he was deeply and absolutely in love with him. He knew that he would never find home, comfort, love and completeness like this ever again. Jungkook was absolutely whipped for Kunpimook Bhuwakul and his pretty smile and beautiful heart.

"What are you thinking, love?" 'Love', a nickname that Bambam had come up with was music to Jungkook's ears everytime the shorter man said it. They still hadn't confessed their undying love for each other but they knew deep within themselves that they felt the same way.

"I love you" Jungkook finally let the words slip and he wanted to burn the image of Bambam's reaction in his brain forever. The silver haired man gasped before crashing his lips against Jungkook's in a soft, loving kiss.

"Took you long enough to say it. I love you too, you idiot" Jungkook giggled at the comment before taking Bambam's lips back to his. He stepped back till they both fell onto the couch, Bambam straddling him. For the first time, Jungkook let his hands wander from the small of his back up to his neck and down to curve of his ass.

"You going to fuck me now or what?' Jungkook's breath hitched at the boldness of his boyfriend.

Boyfriend, that's what they called each other now. He doesn't remember when it happened. That's a complete lie, he remembers the exact day, hour and minute it happened, the time he asked Bambam properly to be his boyfriend in the most cheesy way he knew how.

It was on a cold December morning, Jungkook had just moved out of the dorms and into Bambam's apartment. The latter had a busy schedule while the former had the day off and so Jungkook decided to spend his time doing something worthwhile. After a lot of shopping, which he was horrible at and crafting, which he was also horrible at, he was ready and waited patiently for Bambam to come home.

The moment the silver haired man stepped inside, he knew something was up. The living room was decorated with his favourite flowers, cute pictures of the two of them hung off walls and a bucket of ice with a bottle of wine sat on the center table. Next to the wine was a wrapped present.

"Jungkook?" Bambam called out to no avail. The man sat down and opened the box I'm front of him and gasped. Inside was a simple chain with a large pendent with the words "DoubleB" covered with diamonds on it. Tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered the day he told Jungkook that he always wanted something special with his famous tagline on it.

"You like it?" Jungkook asked nervously. He had flown to LA for a few shoots a couple of months prior and stopped by one of the most famous jewlers in the city who was well know for making pieces for celebrities and rappers. He spoke to the owner with the help of his interpreter and designed the pendant himself.

Due to the complexity of the design and all the specifications unfortunately, it wasn't finished in time for Jungkook to take it back home with him but he was promised it would be delivered to his doorstep as soon as possible.

"I absolutely love it" Bambam said, getting up from the couch to give Jungkook a seating kiss filled with love and affection.

"Bambam, will you be my boyfriend?" Jungkook asked nervously. He knew he had nothing to fear and that Bambam loved him the same way he did but he was still scared.

"As if I wasn't already your boyfriend since that time you took me to that ramyun shop after ditching that fancy restaurant. Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend, Jungkook" Bambam said and Jungkook let out a scream of delight before covering his face with kisses.

That memory brought butterflies to Jungkook's stomach as he nibbled on this boyfriend's lower lip before nodding. He lifted Bambam up easily, giving him a chance to wrap his legs around his waist before carrying him to the bedroom.

Jungkook gently dropped the silver haired man onto the bed. He discarded his t shirt before doing the same for his boyfriend. Crawling onto the bed and hovering over Bambam, Jungkook kissed him with all his heart. He poured his soul into the kiss as if Bambam would disappear if he didn't.

Bambam's fingers trailed over the taught muscled of Jungkook's back as he kissed him with the same amount of love and passion. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. Bambam tangled his legs with Jungkook's before putting all his body weight into flipping them over, pressing Jungkook into the mattress.

He made his was down Jungkook's body, biting and kissing every part of him as if he wanted them printed in his mind, which he did. He knew he couldn't leave marks but he left a few small ones just under Jungkook's navel where his pelvic bone sat. Bambam slowly tugged down Jungkook's pants to reveal his already wet boxers.

"Do you not have anything that's not black? Like seriously dude, ever heard of colour?" Bambam joked as he traced his fingers around Jungkook's erection which caused the snarky reply to get stuck in Jungkook's throat. Bambam peeled the boxers off Jungkook and too a moment to admire his boyfriend's cock.

It was really big are really pretty. He instinctively wrapped his hands around it, giving it a few experimental tugs. The moan that escaped Jungkook's lips was the sweetest sound Bambam had ever heard. He was about to take Jungkook's cock in his mouth when a hand weaved through his hair to stop him.

"Don't feel pressured to do it if you don't want to" Jungkook said and Bambam smiled so genuinely at the man that he physically felt his heart melt. But before he could comprehend what was happening, warmth enveloped him in such an overwhelming manner that he curled his toes and fisted the sheets.

Bambam worked diligently up and down Jungkook's cock as he gave him head. He was enjoying the process almost as much if not more than Jungkook. It just felt so right to him. The warmth, the weight and the sweet taste, all of it was perfect against Bambam's tongue.

Bambam moaned as he licked away the precum at the tip of Jungkook's cock and the vibrations shot right through Jungkook's body, making him keen with pleasure. He tugged on Bambam's hair to pull him off, eliciting a whine from him.

"I'm not going to last if you keep doing that, Bam" Jungkook said, pulling his boyfriend in for another passionate kiss. Jungkook flipped them over once more and settled between Bambam's legs. He looked entranced by the way his pucker clenched as Jungkook brought his finger near it.

Leaning over Bambam, he opened the drawer of his nightstand to pull out a condom and a bottle lube. He hooked the silver haired man's legs over his shoulders and brought his face as close as he could to Bambam's warm skin, nipping at his thighs for a moment before dipping right in to lick his hole.

Bambam squirmed and moaned as Jungkook ate him out. The taller man was extremely skilled with his tongue and fingers and it made Bambam's knees buckle. The moans that left Bambam's lips were music to Jungkook's ears and he wanted nothing more but to listen to the all day.

"Kook, fuck me, now" Bambam heaved, pausing in between to take breaths. He was panting harshly, chest rising and falling at a steady pace. Jungkook merely nodded before letting go of Bambam's thighs and grabbing the condom. He tore the packet with his teeth and slipped it into his cock.

Lining himself up with Bambam's hole, he looked into his boyfriend's eyes one last time to see if he wanted to back out. Seeing only lust and need in his eyes, he took a deep breath before pushing in. Bambam's back arched and Jungkook's name escapes his lips as he bottomed out.

Neither of them ever thought they'd ever feel something like this in their life time. Pleasure and love morphed into a euphoric sensation that no one could describe. Jungkook had heard sex being described as 'two becoming one flesh' and never believed it till he felt what it was like being inside Bambam.

They were both drug addicts looking for their next highs. Something almost animalistic took over Jungkook as his eyes glazed over and he pulled almost all the way out before shoving right back in roughly. He had no control over his body as he pounded into Bambam.

The sound of Jungkook's balls slapping against Bambam's ass and slick from the lube filled the room. Jungkook had thought that Bambam was the most beautiful thing alive but when he saw his face contorted in sheer pleasure, he was sure that he would never see anythingas beautiful ever again.

Bambam was first to cum, Jungkook's hand wrapped tightly around his member, stroking steadily. The was he clenched around the taller man made him tumble over the edge moments after his boyfriend. Jungkook reluctantly pulled out and collapsed next to Bambam, basking in the after glow of his orgasm.

"Wow, I can't believe waited so long for that" Jungkook whispered. He looked over to see Bambam staring out of the floor to ceiling window in their room, gazing at the moon. Stars could rarely be seen with the amount of fog and pollution in Seoul but two twinkling lights were visible in the vast darkness.

"It was well worth it, though. I'd do it all over again for you if I had to" Bambam muttered. Jungkook pulled out a pack of wet wipes form his drawer and cleaned both of them up before pulling the duvet over their still naked bodies. He snuggled against Bambam, pressing his head against the man's chest.

"When did you become the romantic in the relationship, huh?" Jungkook chuckled as Bambam absent mindedly played with his hair. They shared those few minutesn of silence with small smiles on their faces. The quietness was never awkward, they were comforting to say the least.

Bambam and Jungkook both had loud, outgoing personalities that rarely ever gave them time to calm down, sit quiet and reflect. After meeting each other though, their best memories were sitting together without saying a word to each other, warm and satisfied.

They both fell into a simple, borderline boring schedule of waking up together, cooking breakfast for each other, enjoying coffee and talking about life in the mornings followed by dinner and maybe a round or two of sex in the evenings.

After the first time, their intimate times were rarely ever so soft and mushy. Though just as passionate, they had gotten to learn a bit about each other's kinkier sides and learned to embrace that. They both were madly in love to say the least and nothing was going to change that, at least not for a while.

Things started going downhill the day Bambam introduced Jungkook to Cha Eunwoo, who was Bambam's best friend. They both had met each other when they were still trainees and had gotten along quite well. Enwoo was stunning to say the least, with his undeniable charm and drop dead gorgeous looks.

The three of them met over dinner the first time, Bambam having invited Eunwoo to join them. The whole time Bambam was laughing at Eunwoo's jokes and messing around with him. It wasn't like he ignored Jungkook though, he was too sensible for that. He included his boyfriend in every conversation and asked for his opinion on topics they discussed.

Jungkook didn't feel jealous during the dinner but he felt empty. Eunwoo was everything he wasn't and couldn't be. He was considerate, knowing Bambam's order by heart and ordering it for him, kind, caring and attentive. Jungkook felt all his insecurities bubble up from deep within.

None of them were like his old ones about not being good enought to be an idol or a role model. They were all about how he wasn't good enough for Bambam. He couldn't remember Bambam's favourite drink, he didn't know his favourite song, heck he even forgot his birthday once.

After a year and a half of being connected at the hip, he realised he barely knew anything about his boyfriend. Eunwoo on the other hand knew him inside out. He knew his favourite Backstreet Boys member and his biggest pet peeves. He even bought a small brooch for Bambam which had two snakes on it, his signature logo.

Jungkook thought day in and day out how Bambam would be happier with Eunwoo. The latter was single and looking for love, as he put it. Eunwoo even confessed to Jungkook about the crush he had on Bambam back when they were trainees when Jungkook and him were waiting for Bambam to get dressed.

Without trying to, he started growing distant with Bambam. He would stay late at the company practicing or producing even when his hyungs repeatedly told him to go home. He stopped responding to Bambam's texts and rarely ever took his calls. He started sleeping at the dorms some nights as it was closer to the company.

Bambam thought it was his fault that Jungkook was ignoring him. He tried to think of everything that happened over the course of the previous few months to figure out what he did wrong. When Jungkook stopped responding, he called Taehyung up to check on him every now and then.

Jungkook effectively stopped eating. He lost weight rapidly and barely had the strength to practice. He also didn't sleep because the moment he closed his eyes the thought of Bambam and Eunwoo together and that picture ate him alive. The members tried everything to talk to him but he shut them all out.

Bambam grew worried about his boyfriend. He crashed at Eunwoo's place for a few days as he hated how empty their shared home felt. The brought Cupcake, Latte, Pudding and King, his cats, over to Eunwoo's place and cried to him about how much he missed Jungkook.

Completely frustrated and angry out of his mind, Bambam walked into the BigHit biding and demanded that he be taken to Jungkook. Taehyung led him to one of the dance practice rooms inside the building before he gave Bambam a reassuring smile and left. Taking a deep breath in, he opened the door.

Inside he found Jungkook dancing to BTS's new song. No, that man couldn't be his Jungkook. The person in front of him was way thinner than his boyfriend. Dark circles sat under his eyes and his hair was flying everywhere. There was no passion in the way he danced, almost as if he was doing it because he was forced to do so.

Jungkook looked like a ghost to Bambam. He had never seen his boyfriend like that and it scared the daylight out of him. Jungkook hadn't yet noticed Bambam come in because he was absorbed in trying to get the moves right which he couldn't because he could barely move his body properly.

Bambam quickly snuck around the room and turned the music off, causing Jungkook to sigh and turn to Bambam thinking it was one the hyungs trying to get him to stop. He opened his mouth to say something but as soon as his eyes fell of his boyfriend, he stopped. He stared at the man for a solid minute before collapsing.

Bambam ran towards his boyfriend who's body crumpled to the floor. He held onto Jungkook as he cried for help as he tried to get him to wake up. Jungkook's eyes were shut and his body boneless and Bambam felt his eyes well up as he saw the state his boyfriend was in.

Why didn't he come sooner? Why didn't he take care of his boyfriend? Why didn't he notice that he was suffering? These thoughts ran around Bambam's head as he sat outside Jungkook's room in the hospital, waiting for the doctor to come out.

"Who are you?" The doctor asked and Bambam introduced himself as Jungkook's boyfriend. He asked is the man was fine and the doctor sighed.

"Mr Jeon was excessively sleep deprived, he was starving himself and over working which led to him collapsing. We will have to keep him here for a day or two but after that he's good to go. We need to make sure he rests and eats well but otherwise he should be okay" The doctor explained and permitted Bambam to go inside.

Bambam ran inside to see Jungkook staring at the ceiling quietly. The man dragged a chair near the bed and sat down, a sigh escaping his mouth. Before he could way anything, Jungkook spoke.

"Sorry" He wishpered, his voice broken. Bambam saw tears well up in his boyfriend's eyes as he turned to look at him. Jungkook looked like he have walked out of his grave. He was exhausted beyond belief and the only person he both wanted and didn't want to see was Bambam.

"Why? Why? Why did you do this to yourself? Why did you do this to me? What did I do wrong? Why were you ignoring me?" Bambam cried as he hit Jungkook's chest lightly with his fist. He felt so drained as he saw the suffering in Jungkook's face.

"You did nothing wrong, love. It's all my fault. It's my fault that I made you suffer, that I didn't think of you when I did this and my fault that I was never good enough for you" Jungkook cried as well, letting the weeks of anger and frustration seep out of him.

"What are you talking about? Who told you you weren't enough for me? You're my whole world, Jungkook. I can't live without you, you're my everything" Bambam's words just made Jungkook cry harder. He wrapped his hands around the silver haired man and balled his eyes out.

"No one said anything to me, Kun. It's just, when I met Eunwoo, I felt like he was everything you needed and deserved. I was no where as considerate, kind and attentive as he was. He even told me once that he had a crush on you and I felt like you two would be perfect together. I'm not good enough for you, Bam. You deserve so, so much better than me. I feel like I'm dead weight that's dragging you down. I couldn't even ask you out the first time, you had to prompt me. You deserve a man who knows you inside out, who buys you that Gucci jacket you wanted for your birthday and takes you out for a date not a man who completely forgets it. I was so lost in my own world of doubts and insecurities that I didn't realise that I no longer possessed the strength to look you in the eye and call you my boyfriend because I'm not worth it" Jungkook poured his heart out to Bambam once he was done crying.

Bambam looked at Jungkook as if he had lost his mind. He laughed out loud but those laughs quickly morphed into sobs and soon he was weeping. Jungkook held him close to his chest and wiped his tears away.

"Why are you such a god damn idiot? I hate you so much. Eunwoo is my best friend and he has and will never be any more than that to me. You're all I need and you're way more than I deserve, Kook. It's my fault if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough because lord I can't breathe without you. Seeing you like this is killing me on he inside. Please don't do this ever again. I love you so much I'll marry you right here, right now if you want me to. I don't care if you forgot my birthday. Do you remember why you did? You were busy with the comeback and wanted it to be perfect for me. There's nothing more I could want. If being with you means you and I becoming better people for each other, I'd happily have you forget my birthday. I want to spend the rest of eternity with you and nothing is going to come in the middle of that. " Bambam said between sobs.

Jungkook held Bambam's face and kissed him as tears ran down both their cheeks. It was as if Jungkook learned how to breathe again as his lungs burned due to the lack of oxygen. He didn't pull away till Bambam started whining. They looked at each other as if there was no one else in this world but them, here for each other.

Three days later Jungkook was discharged from the hospital and Bambam took him straight to his place. Both of them took a week off and Bambam got his cats and clothes back from Eunwoo's place. They spent the week cuddling and confessing their undying love to each other over and over again.

By the end of those seven days, Jungkook emerged as a normal human again. He had gained some colour back and most of his energy too. Fans noticed the difference quickly as he started posting on Twitter and going live more often.

Bambam stayed by his side the entire time, cheering him on. Both GOT7 and BTS had a successful comeback each and they were doing better than ever. But most importantly, Bambam and Jungkook were doing better than ever.

They communicated more and spoke their hearts out when something went wrong or they needed to let off some steam. Jungkook paid more attention to the little things and Bambam gave him more space when he needed it. They grew to understand each others insecurities and help when required.

Three years after they started dating, Dispatch released photos of them kissing and they decided it was time they finally came out to the public. Jungkook posted a picture of Bambam and Jungkook holding hands and looking at each other and went live on VLive to let the world know that they were in fact dating.

Both BigHit and JYP put out official statements confirming everything and although coming out as gay in Korea was difficult, it was well worth it. The fans supported their relationship and so did both the groups and the companies.

Six years after Jungkook met Bambam for the first time, he had to leave for his military service and he decided he wasn't leaving without handling some unfinished business.

Bambam came back home one day to see Taehyung dressed in a suit waiting for him. He handed the man a box and asked him to change quickly. Inside the box was a brand new, Gucci suit. Once he was ready, Taehyung dragged him to the car and started driving. Even after trying to figure out what was happening by pestering Taehyung, he had no idea where they were heading and why.

"Just trust me, Bammie. We're almost there" Taehyung comforted Bambam before stopping the car in front of the luxury mall Bambam visited often. They both stepped out and Taehyung dragged him to the Gucci store. Inside the store, the racks had been cleared and two dinner tables were set up, one small one with seating for two and a long one with seating for twelve.

"Kun?" Bambam turned to see Jungkook standing behind him with a huge smile on his face. He took Bambam's hand and guided him to the table before sitting down opposite to him. Once they were settled, the rest of their band members walked in and sat down on the long table.

"Six years ago I saw a man in this very store who absolutely took my breath away. He was the most perfect person I had ever met in my life. His name was Kunpimook Bhuwakul but he went by Bambam and honestly he was annoying as hell. But he turned out to be just the man I needed. Bam, I love you so much and I can't describe in words how amazing the last six years have been. I still remember the day I asked you to be my boyfriend and they day I first told you that I loved you. You make everything better and I can't imagine spending a day without you, let alone two years. I know that I've not been the greatest boyfriend in the world but I'd die for you if I had to. I remember the words you said to me that day in the hospital when I almost starved myself to death and now I realise, I agree with you. I want to spend the rest of eternity with you by my side. Things will be hard along the way and I will be annoying as always and so will you but I can't imagine myself doing anything else. I love you with every ounce of my being and I want you to be my yesterday, today and tomorrow, forever. Bambam, Kunpimook Bhuwakul, whateveryour god damn name is cause I couldn't pick one, will you marry me?"

Bambam just nodded because his brain was unable to make cohesive sentences. Jungkook slipped the ring that he had gotten custom made for Bambam onto his fingers and pulled him into a tight embrace. The boys cheered and made a ruckus as they celebrated their best friends' engagement.

They spent the night drinking and eating and having fun together. Youngjae, Jin and Jimin tool turns singing cute love songs for the couple while Jaebum sang his iconic song 'Deeper' as foreshadowing for the activities that had been left for later that night.

By the time Jungkook and Bambam got home, it was almost two in the morning. That didn't stop them from falling into bed and peeling each other's clothes off. Jungkook made love the Bambam that night, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. They layed tangled in each others arms afterwards when Bambam finally spoke up.

"I don't know how I'll survive the next two years without you but I will and we'll get married the day you come back. The only sad part will be the crew cut you'll sport in our wedding photos, I like your long hair better" Bambam joked and placed a peck on Jungkook's lips.

"At least I'll have hair. I'm sure you'd have pulled all of yours out by the time I'm back out of loneliness" Bambam hit Jungkook on the chest for the comment and Jungkook just chuckled.

"Jungkook?" Bambam whispered.

"Yes baby?"

"I love you"

"I love you too, for the rest of eternity"

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starmakerdotcom · 4 years ago

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FRUIT BASKET talk to their exes | GLAMOR

hyunmi looked to minho, who looked back at her expectantly which she took as her cue to go first. “hi, i’m hyunmi,” she started, giving the camera a small wave, “i’m a singer and the leader of fruit basket.”

after she finished, minho introduced himself, “i’m minho, and i’m from shinee,” hyunmi nodded absentmindedly and minho added, “i’m also hyunmi’s ex boyfriend,” causing hyunmi to chuckle quietly at his obvious statement. although they seemed fine, the air was tense.

“i’m namjoon,” he said, casually waving to the camera, “i’m a rapper.”

“i’m sooyoung, and i’m also a rapper,” sooyoung answered just as simply and just as casually. they both looked way more relaxed than expected, sitting back comfortably in their chairs looking at each other like old friends.

eunji looked down nervously, playing with her fingers in her lap, nervous to be sitting across from the boy that she once loved yet hadn’t spoken to in what felt like years.

when eunji didn’t start talking, baekhyun did, “i’m baekhyun, i’m a singer in exo and superm.”

she eased up hearing baekhyun talk, and started nervously, “i’m eunji and i’m in fruit basket.” she gave the camera a weak smile, but at least she was trying.

“hi!” areum waved excitedly, causing the boy across from her to laugh a little. “i’m areum, i’m a singer and the maknae of fruit basket,” she continued, smiling brightly towards the camera.

“and i’m vernon, from seventeen,” he said, also giving the camera a happy wave but not matching areum’s energy by a long shot.

minho sighed, racking his brain to find the answer. finally, he said, “two months, i think?”

“i thought it was closer to three,” hyunmi replied, to which minho shrugged.

“it wasn’t that long,” he explained, “let’s say two and a half months, does that sound right?” he looked to hyunmi who nodded her head in a silent agreement.

“four months?” sooyoung guessed, looking over at namjoon for his input.

“that sounds about right, maybe closer to five.” namjoon replied, “there was never really a time when we sat down and talked about what we were, we just went on dates and had a kind of unspoken agreement that we were together.”

sooyoung hummed, nodding her head before adding, “we didn’t even have to talk about it. power couple things!”

“six months,” eunji answered easily, she remembered their relationship well, the good and the bad.

“sounds about right,” baekhyun agreed, “we met not long after her debut.”

“aw man, how long was it?” areum asked, “it’s kinda hard to differentiate from when we were friends and when we started dating, it’s kind of a blur.”

“i think it was around three months,” vernon answered.

“damn, only three months? felt like longer, god.” vernon laughed at areum’s rambling, causing areum to smile again.

“i trained at sm for a while,” hyunmi explained, “so i guess that’s really the time we first met, but we didn’t talk then. we started talking after that music show in 2016, right?”

“yeah, i’m pretty sure that’s right,” minho added, “but even then we didn’t really talk until after the kibum thing.”

“we don’t need to bring him up, this is your time!” hyunmi exclaimed, “but yeah, he was really nice that whole time. i mean he’s still nice, but you know what i mean.”

“i thought she was really pretty,” minho said, and hyunmi giggled.

she continued, “we hit it off well, it was good.”

“we met at an award show in 2017,” namjoon began.

sooyoung added, “i mean i knew of him before that. remember his underground rapper days? and i got really into bts when they debuted because their hip hop sound was really cool. but yeah we didn’t officially meet until that award show. and he was just as cool as i thought he’d be. and i was just as cool as he thought i’d be.”

namjoon laughed, “sure.”

“we met through a mutual friend around the time of her debut,” baekhyun explained, eunji watching him intently as she bounced her foot, “she was a ball of sunshine, i swear.”

eunji smiled, “he was nothing but kind to me, and he was like that the entire time we knew each other.” her eyes get glossy but she ducks her head down before anyone can see.

“we have a lot of friends in common so i guess that’s how we met,” areum said, “he seemed like a cool dude and eventually we started hanging out more.”

“she was a lot shyer a few years ago,” vernon laughed, “she loves the cameras now but you should’ve seen her when we first met.”

the two fell silent as they processed the question. they looked at each other for a minute before minho started.

“we weren’t a good fit for each other,” he explained simply.

“yeah, our dynamic as a couple wasn’t great, so we broke it off,” hyunmi agreed, “no hard feelings, but we didn’t really keep in contact.

“maybe you should stop dating sm boys,” minho said jokingly.

hyunmi laughed, “that’s what sooyoung told me. my current boyfriend is an sm boy though, and i am very much in love with him, so i’m good.”

namjoon sighed before starting, “we started dating at a time when we were both really busy, we sort of knew that it wasn’t gonna work.

“we didn’t have enough time for, couple stuff, if you know what i mean,” sooyoung added, “so we stopped the dating thing, but we never really stopped the friend thing. which is good because you’re a good friend.” the two smiled at each other.

eunji stared down at her hands in her lap as baekhyun started, “she was sick, and on her bad days she’d say some pretty nasty stuff to me. i probably should’ve stuck around to help her but it was too much for me at the time. i didn’t know how to handle it.”

“i was horrible to him,” eunji confessed with glossy eyes, “i was in a bad place, i didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, so i ended up taking it out on him. i went to the hospital a week after we broke up. i was anorexic.” she let a few tears roll down her cheeks, “it wasn’t his fault, i tell him that all the time but i still feel terrible about it.”

baekhyun softened seeing eunji cry, and quickly pulled a few tissues from the box next to him and hands them to her. she thanked him quietly and dabbed under her eyes with the tissue.

“oh man,” areum started, “dating him was not fun.”

“hey-!”

“what i mean is, you’re a better person to have as a best friend than a boyfriend, for me at least.”

“basically- we’re better as friends,” vernon said.

“yeah, that,” areum laughed, “i’m sure he’ll find a girlfriend by the way. he’s a great guy, just not for me.”

hyunmi shrugged, “not really, no, we’re not a good fit for each other.”

she looked to minho for his input, and he shrugged. “i agree, we’re both happier now.”

“i mean, i don’t think so?” sooyoung answered hesitantly, “if i could get the chance to date you again i don’t think i would, if that answers the question.”

“why not?” namjoon asked with a fake pout.

“pfft- i just think we’re better as friends, you know? plus i’m in a relationship.”

“yeah that makes sense,” namjoon replied, “i think we’re better as friends too.”

“our breakup probably could’ve been better,” baekhyun said, “i shouldn’t have left her so soon, i should’ve helped.”

“it’s not your fault, baek,” eunji reassured him, “i wish i didn’t take it all out on you... you never deserved that.” she stopped before she started crying again.

“nope,” areum and vernon answered in unison, making them both laugh.

“see? we’re best friends, it’s a lot better this way,” areum laughed.

“i don’t like to think we ever did anything horrible to each other?” hyunmi answered hesitantly, “i’m sure there was something, though.”

“i’m pretty sure you called me an asshole or a dick a few times,” minho chuckled, “but to be fair i think i called you a bitch once or twice, so we’re even.”

hyunmi nodded solemnly, “that wasn’t the best way to go about things but it’s in the past now, and we’re both over it.”

“she said i rap like a fourth grader,” namjoon said, “but i think she was joking.”

“who says i was joking?” sooyoung replied in full seriousness. namjoon opened his mouth to reply but she quickly added, “i was joking! he’s one of the best rappers in the industry right now and if you don’t think so i’ll personally fight you-“

“this one time...” baekhyun recalled, “on one of her really bad days she said i’d be better off if i got out of her life completely.” eunji ducked her head down when a sudden wave of guilt overcame her. “she said a lot of nasty things.”

“he never said anything bad to me, he was always so nice, and it wasn’t fair,” eunji explained through tears, “it would’ve been better if i didn’t take it all out on him.”

“we never really said anything bad to each other,” vernon said, “other than like, stupid friendly banter.”

“yeah, i think i’ve called you a pussy a few times,” areum replied, laughing, “all in good fun, obviously. i’ve been called a bitch a few times too.”

“he was... good at giving hugs,” hyunmi started, “he was always warm.”

“she smelled really good, no matter what time of the day it was,” minho said, making hyunmi laugh a little, “like vanilla and cinnamon or something.”

“we used to do karaoke together,” sooyoung laughed, “at like midnight on the weekends after we had something to drink.”

“those nights were fun, we should start doing that again,” namjoon added, sooyoung nodded in agreement.

“why haven’t we, seriously?”

“he was so nice to me,” eunji said, still sounding choked up, “i know i’ve said that so many times but he was so nice to me.”

baekhyun shifted in his seat, “when she was in a good mood she would always want to cuddle,” he said after a beat.

“you’d always play with my hair,” eunji added.

baekhyun nodded, “your hair was always really soft. you had nice hair- you still have nice hair,” he replied, trying to lighten the mood a little. eunji chuckled quietly, so it worked somewhat.

vernon opened his mouth, but areum started talking before he could.

“if you say my boobs i’m gonna slap you.”

he immediately snapped his mouth shut, and they both laughed. when he started to talk again, areum raised her hand like she was about to hit him, and he recoiled.

“that’s what i thought.”

they both fell silent as they thought.

“what about... our first date?” minho suggested, “we went to her favourite restaurant.”

“i remember you were really hesitant about going there because you’d never been there and didn’t know if you’d like the food,” hyunmi explained like it had happened yesterday, “but you ended up loving it and we had a lot of fun that night.”

minho nodded, “she was right, she was always right about everything,” his tone was casual but it almost had a sour undertone to it, hyunmi caught notice and gave him a look.

“that time we tried to give each other stick & pokes in my bathroom?” sooyoung said.

“i was thinking something more like that time we stayed up all night helping each other write songs,” namjoon said, “you put those songs on your mixtape, right?”

sooyoung shrugged, “i might’ve. the stick & poke night was fun as he’ll though, i still have that tattoo.” she pulled up her pant leg to reveal a tiny tattoo on her ankle.

eunji stared down at her feet, and after a beat she answered, “he bought me a really pretty necklace once. the silver one with the flower pendant?” she looked to baekhyun to see if he remembered, when he nodded she continued, “i still have it, and i still wear it sometimes.”

“you still have it?” baekhyun asked, leaning over to properly look her in the eyes. eunji nodded, smiling slightly as she pulled the necklace from under her shirt. “wow, i thought you might’ve thrown it out after our break up or something,” he laughed.

the couples are each standing up across from each other now, no longer sitting down in their chairs.

“oh god, this is gonna be so awkward,” minho mumbled under his breath. hyunmi heard and nodded, smiling awkwardly.

hyunmi wrapped here arms around his waist as they leaned into each other, pressing their lips together in a short, slightly tense kiss.

once they pulled away, hyunmi whispered, “let’s never do that again.”

“sounds good,” minho whispered back. they both burst out laughing.

“god i haven’t kissed a man in years, this is gonna be weird.” namjoon laughed as sooyoung rambled, trying to stand on her toes to lessen the height difference between them.

namjoon leaned down so sooyoung could actually reach his face, and sooyoung rested her hand on his shoulder as their lips collided just for a second before sooyoung was the first to pull away.

“i remember now why i don’t kiss men anymore,” she laughed.

eunji and baekhyun stared at each other nervously before eunji hesitantly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in. baekhyun let his hands rest on her hips as their lips collided for a few seconds.

when eunji pulled away, smiling, she said, “god, that almost made me feel like i was 20 again,” then quickly added, “oh no, 20 was a bad age i don’t want to do that again.”

the two of them laughed, breaking the tension in the air, when eunji suddenly pulled him in for a tight hug.

“i’m so so sorry,” she sniffles against his chest, “you didn’t deserve anything i did to you.”

baekhyun stroked her hair when she began to cry, “it’s in the past. i’m just glad we got a little bit of closure.”

“ew, no,” areum said, causing vernon to laugh.

“you used to to it, you can do it one more time.”

areum complied, and with a fake pouty look, she wrapped her arms around vernon’s waist. he leaned down to connect their lips in a short kiss that barely lasted a second.

areum jumped back, over exaggeratedly wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “is that it? is this over now?” she said loudly, walking off the set. vernon laughed at her and followed her off the set.

#group.fruitbasket #fruitbasket.dev #fruitbasket.scenarios #SHES DONE !!!!#which couple did u like best lmk pls #kpop oc #oc kpop group #kpop imagines #fake kpop group #idol oc #starmaker entertainment #made up kpop agency

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thatrandomalix · 4 years ago

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12-24! (I expect lots of Red Vox)

(is that a challenge)

12. a song you can scream all the words to

In fact, throwback to fuckin’ January of this year, I sang all of the songs on Slipknot’s songlist when they were in Manchester, but if I GOTTA pick one, it had to be Unsainted.

13. a reboot of a song/songs you already loved (remix, mashup, acoustic, etc.)

Honestly, in a reverse sort of way, I like the two versions of Dancing In The Moonlight, the original by King Harvest and the cover by Toploader! I didn’t know the King Harvest one existed until recently! (The cover by Jubel is okay, I guess)

14. a song with the name of a place in the title

AM HEADIN’ ON BACK TO RENO // HEADIN’ ON BACK TO RENO!!!

15. a song that reminds you of traveling

I suppose, in a literal sense, the first thing that comes to mind is Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car

16. your favorite childhood song

This song really stuck with my as like a perpetual earworm but I love it sm so it can stay: Lady Hear Me Tonight

17. a song that reminds you of a good time

good... time? Haven’t heard that name in a while...

Seriously tho, I am blanking on this one, bUT!!! Honestly, some of the Jackbox OST had made me think of some really fun games, such as Quplash 2, Fibbage Enough About You, Split The Room, some decent stuff!

18. a song that reminds you of a bad time

Tbh, for the sake that this song GAVE me a bad time, I’d rather not link it here, in case it might trigger anyone else. The song really amplified my despair and spiralled me into a real bad thinking place and really put me in a bad mood.

19. a song from an artist whose old music you enjoy more than their new music

UHMN... I can’t really say! If I might have a preemptive guess, I might prefer the older Static-X stuff, but I’m a real stickler for their Start The War album, and that’s the only album I’ve delved into so far.

20. a song that empowers you

The Light by Disturbed, as silly as it is to say, really is uplifting for me, please sir this is my emotional support song

21. a song from a local artist

I’m afraid the ones I REALLY wanna showcase don’t really have active Youtubes that I can plug but there’s a heavy metal band that I saw live in the labour club called Anarcadia. Here’s their song Karma!

22. a song you related to in the past and present, but for different reasons

Hmmm, I gotta rack my brains for this one..

I can’t really think of one, but I suppose MIKA’s Relax, Take It Easy shifted with it’s purpose to me. From having it be a nonsense head cinema I had on my mind for it to shift to really ground into me and how I really gotta chill with my overthinking.

23. your favorite cheesy pop song

Oh that WILDLY varies a lot, but right now, it’s Wings by Little Mix

24. a song from a soundtrack (musical, movie, video game, etc.)

Actually, today I was thinking about how much the Tekken 5 soundtrack slapped, so here’s a selection: Moonlit Wilderness, The Finalizer, Anatares, hell even the Character Select music is boss!

#WHEW THAT'S A LOTTA LINKS #enjoy perusing this fruit salad #tired tiefling #ask

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you-did-well-moon · 5 years ago

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|Not the Same| Exo 10th member AU| Pt.1

~Exo x Kim Xinzhi(platonic)//Changkyun x Kim Xinzhi// other idols x Kim Xinzhi(platonic)~

Summary: Xinzhi hasn’t gone to an award show in years. Many things have changed. There are new idols to meet, and cameras to greet. With her members by her side she experiences MAMA after such a long time. Having fun watching performances it doesn’t take long to get comfortable. With reminders of what was lost and what was gained not everything comes easily. Although she is used to flustering others, she also doesn’t expect her attention to focus on a particular mischevious rapper.

Word count: 3,000<

Type: fluff/crack/angst

Warnings: pills, identity confusion, mature talk, sexual talk

A/N: Okay so i had a few things planned before this, but i got inspiration for this and soon all i know was that my hands were on the keyboard and words were on the screen. I’m going to have to split it up into two parts (since i don’t have regular acess to a computer and don’t get mine until christmas). Don’t worry the second part will be short. I didn’t mean for the cliffhanger. I hope you like it. Anyways please dont be afraid to talk to me or to request!!~Moon.

~~~~~~

I had been peacefully sleeping. A deep dreamless sleep that soothed the ache in my muscles, and made me forget of all the dark things constantly tormenting me. The things i hid from my brothers. The things i hid with my smile. It was one of the best nights i had in a while. Until someone decided it was time for me to greet the morning light.

“Wake up you spawn of satan” something hit my face making my nose scrunch and hold back a sneeze. Groaning i blinked the sleep away wiping the drool from my mouth. The soft sheets had formed a cocoon around me while i was asleep. This bed was better than the one i had in the dorms. The company had rented out a place for us for our stay in Japan. It wasn’t huge and extravagant, but everyone had their own rooms. As my eyes opened i saw Jongdae standing next to my bed with the damned pillow in his hands. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were clouded with sleep. “Ugh, what the hell?? What year is it?" He simply raised a brow shaking his head.

“That’s not what matters. Think more... what day is it.” I racked my brain still in the middle of waking up. As I narrowed my eyes, it took a minute or two for it to hit me. I gasped and looked up at him as he nodded in comfirmatiom.

“MAMA” the word left both our mouths and I practically fell out of the bed. I flew out of the room with Jongdae following after me with a smile and leaving the pillow on my bed. I face palmed and huffed as my socks slid at every stride. How could I forget. The only reason we were in Japan was because of MAMA. I ran towards the kitchen screaming when i stubbed my toe on the ledge of a table in the living room.

“See, what’d i tell you? Time to pay up,” I heard Sehun’s voice coming from the kitchen while i soothed my throbbing toe. “I can’t belive i actually had faith in her. You would think she would learn after the last nine times.” I heard the dissapointed voice of Jongin soon after. Jongdae walked right past me not even sparing me a glance as he entered the kitchen. Quickly getting up I burst into the room immidiately lunging at Sehun who was busy counting the money in his hands.

“YAH, you moved it didn’t you? I hope that pays for your hospitall bill after i get you jerk!!” Sadly, i wasn’t able to claim revenge as the arms of the leader wrapped around my torso picking me up and setting me down on a stool a safe distance from the black haired idiot now sticking his tongue out at me. I grabbed the spoon set in front of me waving it in warning. Junmyeon simply sat down next to me sending Sehun a warning glance which made him turn in his seat dropping the fork he had begun pointing in my direction.

Anyone could tell Junmyeon had a soft spot for the two maknaes. What they didn’t know was that he favored me. Smirking in victory i turned to him. “So, what’s the plan Myeonie?” he turned to me with soft eyes eyeing the spoon in front of me. “We need to go to the company building and run over the choreography a few more times for our performance tonight. After that. we’re all going to take showers and we’ll head over to the stylists and start getting ready.” SM had a company building in Japan that I had only visited once or twice. It would be weird walking through this building’s halls and not see Heechul running from the manager, or not hearing the music blasting from whichever practice room Taemin was in.

Groaning I let my head fall on the marble of the island we were currently sitting at. He poked my side making me jump. “Cheer up. If you kids behave i’ll take all of you out to ice cream shop you guys love so much when we get back home. I’ll even let you have those noodles you aren’t allowed to have”. His words immidiately made me jump up in my seat. He rolled his eyes when Chanyeol shouted “That’s not fair’ as he was dragged in by Baekhyun drowsily rubbing his eyes. “I DESERVE IT” huffing I looked away from the pair as Chanyeol sat next to me with Baekhyun on his other side.

I looked at Chanyeol on my left side. That’s where he usually sat. I could’t stop my eyes from drifting to the stools on the other side. That’s where they used to sit. In front of me. I was taken out of my daze by a hand poking my forehead. Coming back to my senses I saw Kyungsoo placing a bowl of cereal in front of me. I grinned at him, and he softly shook his head ruffling my hair before returning to making breakfast for the others. Minseok passed by not a second later handing me a banana. I yelled out a thank you to both of them as i dug into my cereal.

Making sure no one was looking I let the smile slip off my face. I’d chime in every now and then as the boys talked about what they were looking forward to. Standing up when i finsished my food and leaving the room i made my way to my own. I made my bed and brushed my teeth. Every now and then my eyes would drift to the other side of the room. It didn't have a bed like my room back at the dorms. The bed which hadn’t been slept in god knows how long. Forcing my eyes away I made my way to my closet.

My practice clothes consisted of some grey cotton shorts, a black sportsbra, a white oversized tank top, with some white knee-lenght socks. Finishing the look i slipped on some comfortable black nikes, and i pulled my hair into a messy bun on top of my head. Putting all my stuff like my phone, water, and other items inside a black duffel bag. I quickly went to my vanity table opening the drawer full of pills. Pills they thought i had thrown away. Looking for the bottle I specifically needed I dropped two capsules in my mouth.

Looking up at the mirror placed on top of the table I narrowed my eyes at my reflection before turning around. I got my bag and swiftly left the room. I smiled as i found most of the boys in the living room only missing Chanyeol. I plopped myself in between Kyungsoo and Sehun letting my head reast on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Jongdae saw me, and he threw his head back letting out a whine. “Where is this big-eared idiot?”

Right after that Chanyeol came in with a scowl and a headband lazily placed on his head to keep the rowdy hair out of his eyes. “I heard that” he grumbled. Everyone let out a laught at the timing and started getting their stuff together. We all headed to the vans waiting outside for us. On the way there I looked out the window forcing any thoughts that weren’t about our planned performance out of my head. When we got to the company building, our manager was already waiting for us.

I saw many poeple rushing around in preparation for the awards as the manager ushered us to the practice room. We stretched as fast as we could, and started going through the choreography and the plans for the performance. We had practiced this so much I could do this with my eyes closed and room spinning. Not long after, our clothes were sticking to our skin, and our chests were heaving. At this time, nothing was plauging my mind. It was just me, and the music coursing through my veins moving my body to it’s addicting sound. I watched my figure in the mirror extremely satisfied with my performance. Practicing my facial expressions and little gestures I was known for across the industry and fans. Once we and the manager were all satisfied, we were directed to the company showers. I walked towards the female showers ridding myself of the wet clothes. I chose the very corner stall and closed the curtain.

I let the warm water cleanse me of the sweat clinging to me, and I let my head fall back. I made sure i did everything with precision as the water dripped down my body. The only thoughts I allowed were about the performance as I finished. I knew what would happen. This performance was special. With multiple songs and a video playing in the backround. At the end we would all do something special. It was bound to stun both the audience and the fans in the crowd. No matter what fandom. This would be a performance to remember. I couln’t stop the pure exitement and giddiness from flooding my chest and spreading warmth through my body. This is what I was meant to do. This is what I was best at. It’s what I loved, and it’s what made me able to wake up every morning. It made my heart beat. It was my life.

Smilng I shut off the water quicky getting out and wrapping one of the fluffy white towels around me. I blinked the water drops away, and I gathered my stuff. Just as I was about to leave two unkown female trainees came in. They smiled softly at me, but even after all this time I could see it. The pity in their eyes. I was used to it. Quickly shaking it off I smiled as warmly as I could. We exchanged pleasentries, but I didn’t try to continue the conversation. I was so used to closing others off. It would be a hard habit to break.

Walking out I made my way to the female Exo dressing room. The male one being in the opposite side of the building. I being the only girl in Exo, was the only female idol there. I walked in my stylist all sitting on the couch making conversation as they waited. When I walked in they all sprang up jumping into action. Trinity getting me a robe to replace the towel before going into the room’s closet to get the outfit she had planned out for me. Kirra set up all her equipment and ushered me into the chair taking my bag and dumping it on the couch. She instantly set to work tilting my face this way and that to apply the cosmetics. Eli got her hair products ready while she waited for Kirra to finish up.

“How are you doing, Zuzu?” Kirra called my nickname knowing it gave me comfort. “Nothing but exitement, really. We have a big performance planned. I have nothing to be nervous about. We are Exo. We have a message to give. And everyone will hear it. Whether they want to or not. With my boys beside me, what could go wrong?” I did my best to truly believe every word that came out of my mouth.

Kirra grinned shaking her head fondly. “That’s the spirit! Feel yourself girl. You are the great Zui from Exo. One of the most beloved idols in the industry. The impactful, talented, and sexy Zui. Boys can’t even come up to you without getting flustered, and all girls want to be you. You make everyone want to bend-” I scoffed cutting her off before she could say anything else. Although, I couldn’t deny the smirk making it’s way onto my face. “You flatter me”. She laughed before getting back to work.

Neither of us said anything as she finished. She was too focused. When she was done, I looked into the mirror and tilted my head in satisfaction. The makeup wasn’t too heavy seeing as it would be getting done for the performance again later, but it was enough to uphold the image I had built. it kept my features sharp and addicting. Rhisestones dotting the corners of my eyes. The colors mature and capable of making anyone’s heart explode. My lips plump and especially tantilizing. My eyebrow piercing making me look fierce and powerful. She had given me contacts that added a blue tint to my brown orbs. I looked at the mirror as the corner of my lips curled up and Kirra could barely keep the sqeal in.

“I have to say, I think it’s one of my favorites. Thanks Kirra.” she quickly agreed and moved to the side. Eli moved in with the curling wand already in her hands. Eli didn’t have as big of a personality as Kirra (or as much as a big mouth). She was a quiet little thing, and she mostly worked in silence. She sighed and looked at me through the mirror before letting her eyes drop back to my hair.

“I’m really glad i was assigned to you.” when I tilted my head in confusion she continued “I’ve heard stories. Of idols who don’t make any effort to keep their hair healthy, and what a mess it can be. Plus, you’re nice. Some aren’t.” she whispered. I smiled softly at her. “I’m glad to have you too”. She swifly nodded before turning all her attention to my hair. She finished and we both smiled, pleased.

The curled strands were pulled up together with isolated strands hanging out here and there. Some framed my face while others grazed the top of my shoulders and collarbones. She also added glitter so that it shined a certain way when the light hit it. The soft strands were just waiting to be touched. I tilted my head back smiling at her in thanks. She shily smlled back and backed up so that i could stand.

I made my way to the closet where Trinity had been the whole time probably placing the last touches on my outfit. My breath hitched when my eyes caught sight of the dress. It was perfect for me. I shook my head in disbelief. She always managed to do it. Trinity smiled smugly.

“Like it??” I exhaled looking at her with wide eyes. “Like it? Trinity, I love it. You always outdo yourself. You really are the best,” she innocently shrugged at my words. “Oh stop, You don’t have to tell me that. I already know." I chuckled as I untied the robe letting it fall to the ground, Trinity helped me into the dress, and when i looked into the mirror a unique kind of breathlessness racked through my body.

It was an off the shoulder dress accentuating my shoulders, collarbones, and neck. It was short in front, and it got longer as it went back. It had an open back that had strings of jewels running across my skin, and a kind of fabric surrounding my waist that was see-through. The fabric at the back was light, so it flowed in the wind when I walked. The dress was comfortable, and it wasn't heavy at all.

She gave me many accessories. She placed a flower like headpiece on my hair being careful not to mess up the hair do. She gave me dangly earrings with a choker like necklace made of jewels. She placed a simple dangly hand chain on my hand which paired with a similar anklet. The shoes didn't have that much heel, but they were pretty and made my legs seem longer.

Looking into the mirror I smiled. The person staring back at me looked like the person I had been such a long time ago. The person I now pretended to be. The influential, compelling, striking woman that could bring anyone to their knees. Not the fragile broken little girl currently hiding behind all those qualities. The smile slowly slipped off my face.

"Don't...don't you think this is a bit much?" I questioned Trinity. Her eyes softened. In all her years of working with me I had never been one to show insecurity, but after what happened it seemed I had lost a bit of myself. But gosh, I was still as stubborn if not more.

Shaking her head she spoke. "Come on, Zhizhi. You look ethereal right now. Wouldn't it be fun to make an entrance? Leave an impression? You haven't attended MAMA in about three years. Don't you wanna show them? Show them you're still the same commanding powerful woman you were before??"

But...I'm not. No one would understand. No one knows. I'm horrified, but I dont want to go back.

Looking at myself in the mirror I forced myself to go back. To be the person I had lost so long ago. I made myself forget. Shaking my head I pushed a smile onto my face. I gathered all the bad thoughts and memories locking them in a box and placing in the farthest corner of my mind. Digging my nails into my palm I forced all confidence to spread throughout my body. I forced myself into the Zui persona. The sexy unfazed commanding idol. Smoldering into the mirror I let a smirk kiss at my lips.

"You're right. Don't worry your little head about it Trinity" slowly I turned to her grinning before patting her shoulder then walking towards the exit of the closet. "I'll leave them knees week, mouths dropped, and hearts racing." I chuckled when she responded. "Damm right you are. Work hard, make them hard."

My laughter rang around the room as I entered the main dressing room where Kirra and Eli had begun packing all their equipment. When they saw me they gasped stopping all movement. I'm pretty sure I saw Kiarra's knees buckle. Eyes wide she started to speak.

"You look- like...like"

"A goddess" Eli finished but Kiarra continued.

"An angel"

"Emma Watson on steroids""

"A statue made by the Gods"

"like I just died and entered heaven"

"shit man, this could be hell and I wouldn't mind"

"Y-you look like a..."

"-A sin"

With the last one a laugh bubbled up. "You guys are too much. I'd love to talk more but I'm sure I'm late" looking at clock I winced. Those noodles were on the line. I couldn't get Junmyeon annoyed. Waving I quickly walked towards the door, and I opened it breathing in the fresh air that didn't smell like makeup and mold.

I briskly walked towards the entrance of the company building where I knew the vans and fellow members would be waiting. Coincidentally, I didn't run into anyone seeing as most groups here had probably already gone to the venue. How weird. Back when I attended award shows I’d usually see Red Velvet talking about how to avoid all male idols, or Super Junior talking about all the shenanigans they could get up to and how mad they could get their manager. Now my heels clicking against the floor were the only sound that accompanied me as I made my way towards the entrance.

Kirra had already called down to announce I was on my way, so they were probably outside. I took a moment to collect myself as the elevator went down. The cold metal from the necklace seemed to keep me alert. One last time I forced all bad thoughts out of my head and cleared my mind. As the elevator doors opened, I grinned.

Zui was back.

I waved to the receptionist who's mouths dropped as I walked by. The security by the door opened the door not being able to make eye contact, and the sun's light hit my face. I noticed my members all standing by some vans conversing with themselves and I made my way towards them. I noticed the multiple vans one probably for us while others for our staff. Then, my eyes landed on the boys. They all had different suits with varying designs. Looking like princes, and god exo-l would have a field day with this.

"Hello peasants, ready to go?" my voice made Jongdae turn and he immediately spoke "Spawn of satan becomes satan himself but female version" smiling I walked right past him hooking my arm with Minseok's who gladly accepted smiling. "Well looks like Min is my date today. Jongdae's whine made me hold my arm out to him and replace mine with Minseok's.

"Actually, you two will have to be a duo today. You grandpas don't know how to have fun. You never dance or sing with me, so I'll just stick with Yeol and Baek today" mentioned idols then whooped swinging their arms around my shoulders. Minseok just shrugs in response pulling a whining Jongdae into the van. As we started heading towards the van, i felt a hand land on my shoulder holding me back. I immidiately recognized Junmyeons touch.

I looked back only to see the worry in his eyes. Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun looked back. “Oooh, she’s in trouble” Baekhyun snickered. My eyes widened. Me? In trouble? I thought back to everything i had done today and yesterday. I hadn’t done anything. I just put some soy sauce in Sehun’s bubble tea...then I proceeded to leave him at said bubble tea store. But that was normal. My eyebrows furrowed.

“Myeonie? What did i do?” he instantly let out an exasparated sigh. “What- no! No one is in trouble. I just have to talk to you” I nodded in understanding. He waited until everyone was away from hearing distance. His eyes looked at anywhere but mine as if searching for the right words. His brows furrowed as he gnawed on his lip putting his hands on his hips. The worry in his eyes made me bristle.

Letting out a sigh his eyes finally found mine.

"Zhizhi...."

"Myeonie?"

His hands left his hips, and instead they reached for my own. Encasing them he bought them close to his chest as his eyes searched mine. The contrast between his cold rings and the warmth of his hands shocked me out of the Zui persona. His mouth opened and closed as if he still couldn't find the right words. He visibly swallowed.

"Will...Will you be okay?" my shoulders instantly relaxed. Smiling softly at my leader one of my hands left his grasp and moved to smoothen the crease between his eyebrows. Patting his cheek I replied.

"It's been years Myeon, don't worry. I'll be fine. It's time." His eyes searched mine for any sign of hesitation. "But only you get to decide that"

"And I'm deciding that I'm ready." Sighing he brushed the hair out of my eyes. "Tell me if at any point given in time you feel uncomfortable" I rolled my eyes. I hated when he made me feel weaker. It hit too close to the truth.

"I'll be fin-"

"Promise me Xinzhi."

Hesitating I pursed my lips looking into his warm eyes. Junmyeon was hard to lie to. Not because he could detect when I was lying. But because I felt guilty doing it. This was the guy that stayed. That took me in and gave me a home. That gave me everything expecting nothing. He trusted me. And I lied. My chest filled with guilt as I did my best to smile at him.

I took his pinky wrapping it in mine.

"Promise"

With those words I touched the soft skin of his thumb with mine. He smiled his proud dad smile and pulled at my ear. His eyes looked behind me at the vans, and he scoffed smiling. I turned my head finding the beagle line with their faces pressed against the window of the Van's. I laughed as Chanyeol held his arms out pointing at his wrist mouthing one word

"Time."

How ironic. It seemed like that was always a problem these days. Shaking my head fondly I linked my fingers with Junmyeon's jogging to the van.

He got into the passenger seat while I had to get into the very front since the back seats were filled. I had been seated next to Jongin with Kyungsoo on his other side. Jongin helped me gather the dress into the car smiling reassuringly at me. I smiled back knocking my shoulder with his.

Junmyeon told the driver we were all here. The engine thrummed to life making the van move with a pleasant hum. I stared out the window fingers fiddling with my dress. The only thing filling the silence of the vehicle was the quiet murmur of member's voices. Their laughter ringing out every once and a while. I smiled a content smile. It felt like we were in our own little world in the van. A world spinning on an axis of our adoration for eachother. Nothing being able to disrupt or knocks us out of this warm state.

All conversations were halted when Junmyeon cleared his throat turning his head to look at his precious family. We all looked at him expectant and wide eyes. He grinned at us eyes forming crescent moons.

"Who's ready for MAMA!?" at his question we all whooped creating a lively energy. With our spirits lifted and excitement coursing through our veins, we smiled at eachother bodies thrumming with anticipation.

~~~~~

Nervousness pooled at my stomach as the vehicle entered traffic. My eyes took in the large structure of the venue. Cars lined up along the streets waiting to enter the awaited event. Photographers, reporters, fans, and of course the idols all coming together for this day. I felt a hand touch the back of my neck soothing my nerves. Turning around I found Baekhyun's soft features beaming at me. I grinned back reaching to squeeze his hand before letting go.

The fans had asked questions like they did every year.

Would Zui be coming to the awards this year?

The company hadn't made any statements neither confirming nor denying my attendance. Fans had assumed their silence as denial. They didn't know I would be attending after years, so I was a surprise. I anticipated their reaction, and I had slowly been going to more public events getting comfortable once again. To be honest, I had missed the routine of getting ready, performing, and seeing other idols and fans. The familiarity of a camera was not something I expected to miss.

But being cooped up and isolated from the rest of the world did things to a person. Especially when I was used to being in the public eye. The only events I had been allowed to go to were concerts which I found myself lucky to even be in the songs. SM did everything they could to alienate me from my own industry. I knew many things had changed in the time I was gone for both the better and the worse. New groups had come up, and groups that had been at the top of the world were struggling. I had lost contact with many friends. Although some had tried to reach out, I wasn't allowed to respond. I wonder if they hated me. What they thought of me.

Did they think I was a stuck up bitch?

Did they think I personally held myself in a higher status than them?

That was the problem with not being able to talk to someone.

You never could find out what they were thinking.

I couldn't lie. I missed them. The spark in Yoongi's eyes when he was producing and his down to earth behavior. The akward situations Zico got himself into, and how he handled them. The way Jessi and I matched so well together with our defiant reputations, and our big personalities. Hyuna and our little get-togethers where we pretended to be normal people for once laughing and living the day freely.

These friendships had meant so much to me, and they had been ripped away because of someone who I had never spoken to. It was impossible trying to talk to them. The company regularly checked my eletronic devices. He took everything from me.

My identity, my health, my freedom, and my friends. There had been many things planned for me before the incident. Shows, solos, among other things and those had been ripped away from me as well. I had missed important things that the group had gone through. The relationships between my labelmates were now strained by the weight of saying or doing something and breaking me. They feared me with the best intentions.

The members were the only ones who ever treated me like I was normal. Sometimes, they were a bit hesitant, but I always did my best to hide my struggles from them. Everyone always looked and treated me like a victim.

I'm not a victim.

I'm Zui the charismatic sexy rapper. Not afraid of anyone or anything.

That's what I made myself believe anyways.

It led me to ask myself questions I had been asking for a long time.

Would it ever get better?

Would the public ever know what actually happened?

When would the nightmares stop?

After all these years would what happened ever stop being something constantly haunting me?

After all this time there was no answer for these questions. They were shadows that followed me laughing at me, and they never seemed any closer to going away. No matter how much I screamed and begged at them to go away.

They were always there.

Sighing I let myself focus back on my surroundings only to startle when I saw we were two cars away from the red carpet they had set up. Excitement pulled me out of any daze I had been in keeping me alert. My knee started bouncing as we got closer, and Kyungsoo reached over placing his hand on my knee giving me a comforting pat and a smile.

The vehicle came to a slow stop. The reporters and few fans seemed to still wondering who was inside.

Junmyeon turned in his seat grinning at us before opening the door and getting off. As he appeared the flashes immediately started going off, and the fans talked excitedly. Kyungsoo turned to the rest of the members too giving us a nod before opening the door. They all filed out as I waited being the last one that would get off.

As each member filed out, my heart pounded faster and faster. Minseok was the last one to get out beaming at me gums showing as he stepped out. A silence rippled through the crowd when the door didn't close after all eight members had gotten out. I scooted closer towards the door as they stared at the vehicle. Somehow, they knew. Knew the last member to get out would be the well known Zui. Their eyes hungrily awaiting the appearance of the rapper.

Taking a deep breath I let a smirk tug at my lips as the fresh outside air caressed the soft skin of my face blowing through the soft dyed strands spilling out from my scalp. Feeling the ground beneath my feet I made sure my dress was alright before looking up at the crowd. Some fans were looking at me hands covering their mouths, and eyes wide blinking. Others were laughing and smiling while clutching at eachother eyes shining.

My chest filled with warmth seeing one of my favorites sights. Poeple who had supported me and my group smiling because of me. I was finally where I belonged. With my members and my fans cameras annoyingly flashing lights into my face. I walked towards my members in front of one of those background set ups. Camera men were shouting at eachother shoving at eachother to get a picture. The fans were also taking pictures anxiously typing alerting the rest of the fandom of my appearance.

I had been shoved to the middle of the group, and as I stared at the cameras smirking I remembered something someone had told me a long time ago.

Head high or the crown slips.

A long time ago it was a saying I was fond of. Now i wished I could forget it. I didn't need a crown. A sword would do just fine.

The group shuffled along the carpet posing differently every now and then. Our range of poses included serious, sexy, happy, and a funny one. The funny one consisted of the boys with their arms in the air directed at me sitting on their heels, and I had my hands on my hips with a smug grin on my face.

After a few minutes we reached the end of the carpet. We walked up the stairs that would lead to the entrance of the building. Some security would escort us through the halls into the main area where the stage, fans, and other idols were seated. As we followed the security Chanyeol and Baekhyun came to my side linking their arms with mine.

“Who are you exited to see?” Baekhyun asked looking at me with big puppy eyes. My mouth dropped. I had forgotten other idols would be here in all the preperation for tonight.

Chanyeol smiled when he saw my eyes shine with a kind of fragmented light.

I grinned at the thought of being able to talk and explain everything to my old friends. The people who I held so dear to my heart even after all these years treasuring their smiles in my memory with the constant fear of forgetting them.

“The Shinee boys will be there right? And is Jessi performing?? I haven’t seen her in forever!”

Chanyeol’s smile immidiately dropped, and i could feel Baekhyun still, and his arm slip from mine. I looked at them in confusion.

Why were they staring at me so weird? Did I say something wrong. Their eyes filled with the emotion i hated. Pity. Baekhyun’s mouth opened and closed, and Chanyeol had a weary look in his eyes. I felt a warm hand drop on my sholulder someone walking up beside me. Turning i found Minseok with an uneasy smile. Nodding his head at the boys we continued walking.

“Zhizhi...we’re the only SM group attending the awards this year, and Jessi hasn’t performed for MAMA in about three years.” The wry smile still remained on his face as i felt my chest grow heavy. How alienated from the industry had I been? Was I really to the point that I didn’t know anything going on with my own industry. How far behind was I? Was there a line where isolation just became ignorance?

I nodded trying to stop the frown tugging at my lips. My voice feeling like it’d been ripped from my throat. Then, another hand rested on my shoulder. Suprise etched my features when i saw Sehun’s sharp eyes looking at me. Instead of the usual mischief, I saw warmth.

“Hey, aren’t you freinds with that rapper from BTS. What’s his name? Suga? They’re supposed to be here.” At that i felt the anger I had directed towrads myself dissipate a bit. An inkling of hope sprouted in my chest at the thought of Yoongi. I would be lucky if he even let me say hi. Yoongi had a hard time trusting others, and I don’t know if i still had any of his after cutting him off without so much a goodbye. I wish he knew how sorry i felt. He deserved so much more.

Sighing I did my best to smile at them nodding my head. “Yeah, youre right. Maybe I can even make some new friends” at that I heard Sehun snort.

“Who would want to be freinds with your ass?” With a glare aimed at him I stopped walking gritting my teeth.

“Listen here twat, I won’t hesiate to leave you ag-” i was cut off once again by Junmyeon grabbing a hold of my shoulders forcing me to walk scolding Sehun for cussing. I made a silent promise to get back at him as I continued walking only to come to an abrupt stop as Junmyeon’s hands held me still.

Annoyance brimmed and with eyebrows furrowed I turned my head to him. "Excuse me, dear leader, um- I have my own legs-" Junmyeon cut me off by shaking my shoulders, and only then did I notice everyone was frozen in place.

"But apparently you guys don't have legs?" at that Junmyeon shook me once more.

"Shhh...listen.."

It was then that I heard the chant the seated fans were screaming shaking the whole venue filling it with a special kind of power.

My chest heaved feeling as if all the wind had been knocked out of me.

"Oh-..oh shit." we all looked at eachother eyes wide as our laughs of disbelief were barely over the fan's chanting.

"LOVE ZUI..LOVE EXO"

With baited breath we all took slow cautious steps forward. The security guy turned around raising a brow, and he stepped to the side extending his hand and tilting his head as if saying "Go ahead."

Our steps still hesitant, we entered the main part of the building where the stage was, and the fans and idols were seated. As we appeared into where the fans could view us the chanting transformed into screams.

We composed ourselves as we walked towards our seats. The screams only got louder as we got closer. I couldn't focus on any of the idols that were currently staring at us. All my attention was on the crowd currently screaming my stage name. The light of the light sticks beamed at me with the familiarity of home, and in that moment I couldn't help but feel like my heart was full after such a long time.

I didn't have to be the idol that had disappeared for reasons unknown to them. The idol who constantly let them down. Their idol who only gave them 50% when they gave 100%. To them, I was still the same Zui.

The Zui that existed before all this mess. These precious people who gave me their continuous love even after all the sadness I had caused them seemed to shine with an ethereal kind of light. I stood there staring at them blinking away the tears blurring my sight.

Then, I smiled as warmly and bowed as deeply as I could. I didn't have to be accepted with open arms or with so much love. They screamed once more, and I waved before turning around searching for the rest of my group only to find out they had already seated themselves. They looked at me with a weird expression I couldn't read, but I ignored it and walked towards the seat.

Walking back I noticed there were three other groups seated around us.

To our right were nine young boys all trying their hardest to avoid my gaze.

Chuckling I looked at them closer trying to decipher who they were. Then, my gaze landed on a guy with dark hair and a V-shaped jaw. A boy that I had been told admired me. A smirk tugged at my lips as I recognized them.

Stray Kids

Many fans had recommended me their music for when I was feeling down. The lyrics of their songs were ones that were very comforting and warm hearted. Looking at them I wondered what things those young boys had been through to be able to come up with suck melancholy lyrics. I told myself I'd try to greet them later.

To the left was a group with seven boys. No. Seven men.

Taking in their faces they seemed so familiar. They weren't looking at me, so it was hard to tell. I wasnt, however, expecting them to be the boys that had seemingly climbed their way up from nothing. The boys I had grown so close to only to have been ripped away from them.

Looking at them I figured they looked more mature than when I last saw them. Something about them was older. I had recognized them when my eyes landed on the particular short passionate rapper sitting next to his light filled polar opposite companion.

Yoongi.

He was the only one looking at me. He didn't look angry, but he didn't exactly look happy either.

Just indifferent. I'd try to talk to him later too.

Finally, my eyes landed on the group seated right behind us. Six men. No. Six men and one girl. Definetly not a group I knew.

Raising an eyebrow I noted something else that was new. Were people still against putting a girl into a boygroup?

My eyes managed to catch one of the boy's. Yeah, definetly did not know them. He looked at me with curious eyes only for them to widen when recognition filled them. A red hue creeped up his neck and tinted his ears as he quickly looked down.

Amused I took in his baby like features paired with a body that obviously spent a lot of time at the gym. Broad shoulders, large biceps, and such a soft face.

How endearing.

I noticed the girl in the group who was sat beside him take his hand clutching it in hers. Neither of them looked at me. Curiousity probed at me, but I disregarded it instead realizing I had reached my group.

I sat myself between Chanyeol and Baekhyun who instantly made space for me. Baekhyun looked at me with a childish confusion.

"Why didn't you talk to your friend" his eyes fluttered over to Yoongi for a brief second before returning to mine. I shook my head. "I don't think he wants to talk, Baek. I'll try later." He tilted his head eyebrows furrowing.

"But you didn't even try Zhi" I sighed shaking my head. "You don't understand Ba-"

"No! you always say that, and I'm getting tired of it. Help me understand" his whispers were getting increasingly desperate. I couldn't do this. Especially not here. I turned away looking at the stage where many performances were set to happen. He tried leaning so that he was in front of trying to catch my gaze, but I avoided it.

"Just drop it Baekhyun" his eyes narrowed. "Xinzhi are you being serious with me right now?" Then Minseok sighed leaning back and crossing his arms.

"Baekhyun, please" at that the mentioned man looked at the older one questionably before huffing and slouching in his seat. Chanyeol's doe eyes flickered between Baek and I wondering who he should comfort. In the end, he reached out to both of us grabbing our hands and linking them together patting then before letting go.

My gaze landed on Baek and I's hands grasped together before clutching on to it tighter feeling the same thing from him.

It wasn't that long before the lights previously on dimmed, and the camera men got into position. I watched as Park Bogum's figure walked onto the stage with the screams of the crowd signaling the start of the event. His handsome face smiled at the camera as he introduced the show and made some cheesy jokes here and there. I let myself relax in my seat seeing as we would be the last to perform.

We enjoyed the performances dancing along to the choreography and lip synching to the lyrics. Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Chen got especially excited with Twice while I got exited at Mamamoo. We made funny faces at the camera as Kyungsoo gave it a blank face and Junmyeon grinned nervously. It seemed so incredibly normal I didn't have a hard time settling in. A small pang struck at my chest when Bts performed seeing Yoongi stare at the camera so defiantly. Baekhyun just smiled nudging my shoulder with his.

I was so busy laughing with the beagle line acting like gossiping schoolgirls to notice the group behind us getting up and walking off backstage.

It wasn't until the beginning of a song starting with "Blow it" and it's bass shaking the floor that my attention was catched. Looking at the stage my eyes landed on the group immediately recognizing the man I had locked eyes with earlier. This time there was seven men and one girl. Hm, he must have been in the bathroom. I didn't get a good look at the new guy's face.

My interest only seemed to grow when I saw their chests vibrating along with bass of the song trying to replicate it only to abruptly stop when I remembered I had no support at that part of the dress. Giving the camera a suggestive look I settled down focusing on the performance.

The guy with the baby face I looked at earlier seemed like a totally different person. Confident in the way he moved and looked.

The start already had me interested. It wasn't until the first verse started that I felt my heart start beating faster. A guy with fiery orange hair stepped up eyes ablaze with passion. I felt my eyes widen, and my mouth drop a bit. My heart wasn't beating faster because of infatuation. Oh no.

It was beating with the elxiliration of finding someone who spoke the same language I did. This guy wasn't an idol.

He was a rapper.

And a damn good one at that.

My energy seemed to increase filling my chest with a weird buzzing and making my hear nod. In conclusion, I like this guy. I don't think I've seen energy like that in a long time.

I was about to turn to ask Chanyeol, who oddly knew everyone, who this was until I was interrupted by a deep velvety voice.

"I am what I am."

You wot m8???

My eyes blinked as my heart seemed to stutter. I clutched at my chest willing my heart to stop acting so weirdly. Not taking my eyes off the performance I nudged Chenyeol with my hand nodding my head in the direction of the group. "Who is that?"

"Monsta x."

I repeated the name still in a trance. As my lips parted in way for the name I realized it had a good ring to it. Next to me Baekhyun snickered looking at the others.

"I think Zhizhi just fell in love." I didn't even have the heart to smack him in retaliation. The group itself was very eye catching with the choreography, rapping, and vocals are going together very nicely.

But he was captivating.

With the metal in his eyebrow sparkling everytime the light hit it, and his body moving across the stage like that's where he belonged. He wasn't the most handsome.

Handsome wouldn't be something to describe him. Entrancing seemed to fit him more. Pulling you in with his gleaming dark eyes and a flash of his lazy smile. There was an odd mixture of darkness and light that clinged to him. A wry smile tugged at my lips as I leaned back taking a sip of my water.

As my heart continued to pulse at a quick speed, fear started curling around the edges of my chest. I really was off my rocker. I was acting like a teenager high off freedom recklessly falling in love with anyone who seemed daring enough to break her. Too bad I was already broken.

For the rest of the performance I continued to space out working on pushing any of the thoughts about him out of my head. I tried focusing on the performance, but anytime ne eyes landed on him my mouth went dry. I couldn't help but laugh at myself.

I didn't even know his name.

Rationality pulled at me helping me get his stupid face out of my head. Smiling falsely I bopped my head to the beat of the song. My eyebrows raised when baby face man ripped his shirt off. His lean torso wasn't what surprised me.

I had seen a ton of idols take their shirt off (Don't misinterpret I used to like attending other group's concerts before the incident), but I had never seen duality quite like his. No matter how many time baby face man flashed the camera with a seducing smile I couldn't help but remember his shy eyes not even able to hold my gaze. What were they feeding idols these days?

Who am I kidding?

I live with Byun Baekhyun.

Sighing I let out a relieved breath when the performance ended. I was so distracted I didn't see Baekhyun making kissy faces at me.

The rest of the performances passes in a blur. Groups I didn't know the name of nor that they existed having their five minutes of spotlight. I didn't bother trying to catch Yoongi's eyes instead conversing with Chanyeol trying to learn about new groups.

It wasn't until I saw figures approaching out of the corner of my eye that my back straightened. Sitting up I slightly twisted around noticing baby face man and his group coming back from their performance.

As they sat down my eyes roamed their faces looking for the deep voiced rapper. My eyes caught with some of theirs, and they bowed their heads in greeting. I bowed my head slightly everytime I looked up they avoided my gaze. It wasn't until I saw a glint from my far left that I tilted my head eye to eye with the rapper who had caught my attention.

My eyes zeroed in on him as we each bowed to eachother.

But as he looked up he didn't immediately avert his eyes. Oh no.

He looked at me. Dark eyes boring into mine curiousity gleaming in the depth of his orbs. He didn't smile or smirk. He had no expression. He just looked at me.

I couldn't think of a time where this had happened. Where an idol actually held my gaze. An idol I had not previously talked to. Hell I didn't even know he existed, but I knew he recognized me. The mysterious female rapper from Exo who was hidden from the public.

Idols feared me, yet his eyes didn't hold any trace of the emotion as we gazed at eachother. I couldn't find it in myself to look away.

The only thing that bought me out of my trance was a slap to the back of the neck.

Hissing my hand traveled to my neck rubbing the skin as I turned around looking into Chanyeol's doe eyes.

"What the hell Yeol?" his eyes were wide and accusing. "Really Xinzhi? Im Changkyun?? A basically rookie idol who's two years younger than you??" Well that certainly made things harder. Looking at him with an uninterested expression and a roll of my eyes I replied "Younger? How fun." Chanyeol's eyes widened even further as he tugged at my ear "Kim Xinzhi!"

"Ah- Ok listen how is age a problem when I dated Leeteuk" At that he tugged at my ear harder. "You dated Leeteuk?!" He screeched. I slapped my hand on his mouth his screaming muffled. I heard my name get hissed out and saw Junmyeon looking at me with those wide eyes your mom gives you when you talk back.

You know the "You better run before you get whooped" eyes. Looking at the group they were all looking at me wide surprised and scandalized expressions. Except Kyungsoo who gazed at me with mild interest mild then looked away. Now that I remember the only one I had ever told about my relationship with our senior was the stoic man.

Slapping Chanyeol's hand away from my ear I grumbled. I heard Sehun snickering. Looks like I could wave those noodles goodbye.

Grinning innocently at the leader his glare hardened making me shrink back in my seat. I wasn't scared of much. Not even Kyungsoo's dead eyes staring into my soul could strike terror into me. But let me put it this way.

No fear.

Furious Junmyeon.

One fear.

If mad Junmyeon asked you to do something you did it without question. There was no arguing with mad Junmyeon. To put it simply....

I'm fucked.

One wrong move and I wouldn't be let out of the dorms for another five years. Smiling I folded my hands in my lap and stared straight ahead choosing to try and not piss off my leader even more. Chanyeol guiltily tapped my knee whispering a quick "sorry".

Baekhyun then also leaned in. "Junmyeon says "We're talking about it later". He also says to settle down and behave." I nodded still aware of Junmyeon’s eyes boring holes into the side of my head. "Looks like Myeonie isn't so happy Zhizhi" Sehun taunted hands clapping in amusement.

My nails digged into my palm as I restrained myself from lunging at him. Testing Junmyeon was not something I wanted to do.

The only thing distracting me from the concequences I'd be facing soon was the fluttering feeling in my chest as the time to perform got closer. That and the set of eyes I felt from behind me. Trying to ignore it I would interact with the fans waving at them and asking them questions. Their smiling faces calming my racing heart.

It wasn't long before we were signaled backstage to prepare for our performance. Making sure I still looked presentable I stood up choosing to stay away from Junmyeon. I instead walked with Minseok choosing him as the best option of protection from Junmyeon’s wrath.

I had to separate from the members seeing as the female dressing rooms were in a different hall then those of the Male idols. Japan really took scandals seriously apparently.

As I walked to the dressing room heels tapping againt the ground I heard a gasp. Pausing my stride I strained my ears seeing if my mind was playing tricks on me.

"Just go say hi. The worst thing that could happen was her ignoring you." Turning in the direction of the voice I found nine young boys standing there looking like deer caught in headlights.

Recognizing them I smiled softly. I couldn't bring myself to put on my persona for them.

Walking closer I bowed as they scrambled to do the same. "Stray Kids right? Nice to meet you" I made me tone welcoming and gentle. A guy with dimples and curly hair stuttered. "You know us?"

I nodded. "Your music is really unique you know? It's very...how should I say? Real? Comforting? I cant really label your music. Let's just say it transcends words. I can't count the number of times I've cried listening to it." Laughing softly I watch as they visibly relax shoulders slumping and easy smiles being shared. My eyes landed on a particular short rapper with dark hair and a sharp jaw.

"Changbin, you're a good rapper. Very passionate. I honestly wouldn't mind working together. All of you." I watched as their expressions of suprise morphed onto their faces. My eyes caught a watch on one of their wrists.

"Sorry I have to cut this short, but I have to go get ready. It was nice meeting you." Words of agreement followed me as I walked away.

I wasn't lying. A collaboration with them seemed interesting. Although, given the intense competition between our companies it would be a hassle to get management to agree.

My train of thought was interrupted by a deep voice.

"You know, you're really different from what the articles say you are." I felt my heart lurch into my throat as I spinned around.

Looking at him was hard enough. Talking to him? Well it took me a second to find my voice. Regaining my composure I tilted my head.

"Can't you say the same?"

Lifting a pierced eyebrow in amusement he shook his head. "You're the exact opposite of all the things I've heard. Are you sure you're Zui from Exo?" Scoffing I narrowed my eyes. My stage persona was a whole other being compared to me. He however, was just as bold as he was on stage.

"Excuse me, who are you?" He actually had the nerve to laugh. He opened his mouth as if to say something only to shake his head and close his mouth. Stepping closer he offered his hand.I accepted watching as his hand easily fit mine encasing it in warmth.

"Im Chankyun. Rapper and maknae from Monsta x." all information I already knew. I nodded trying to seem uninterested. He seemed like the kind of person to tease if I spurred him on. Trying to calm the heat traveling up my neck I cleared my throat.

"You already know who I am". He scoffed through his nose letting out a disbelieving grin.

"Apparently I don't" I started cursing the universe for choosing him out of all poeple. Although, he definetly had charm.

Sighing I gave in snatching my hand from his when I noticed we hadn't let go of eachother. Clasping my hand close to my chest I relented.

"Kim Xinzhi. Rapper and maknae from Exo." his eyes sparkled. "We have a lot in common" his voice was the same smooth tone he had on stage. It felt like he didn't have to put on much of a mask.

The more we talked the more I felt myself getting attached to him. As my fondness grew, so did my fear.

Hardening my face and tightening my lips I took a step back. He wanted Zui? I'd give him Zui.

I shook my head.

"We don't"

"Well now you're just being difficult." I really had to pick this one didn't I?

"We really aren't similar at all. We're on opposite sides of the same spectrum. I'm up here, and you're down here. My group has won thousands of awards while yours is just starting out, and-...are-are you paying attention?" I cut myself off as I saw him zoning out eyes zeroed in on my face.

I turned around to see if he was staring at something behind me only to turn back around and have his hand reaching up to my face.

"Don't move"

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acupmarley · 5 years ago

Text

I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE.

TAGGING: @acupmarley @dance-jackie-dance

LOCATION: Acup, around 4-6am, post-BOTB.

NOTES: HUMONGOUS YIKES.

MARLEY ROSE

Marley had chosen to duck out of the frisbee and nerf battle a little earlier than normal, to make her own camp at the Acup lounge so that she would be perfectly well rested to get up for her shift and bake a whole bunch of pastries for the weekend. By the time she’d emerged from her little cocoon, there were still some patrons lingering around in various forms of superhero dress. Marley held back a giggle as she made her way up through the building, but she stopped short as soon as one Jackie Puckerman came into her line of vision. Despite their rocky and turbulent history, they had been in a good place lately. In fact, Marley would consider Jackie to be one of her friends. Odd, probably unlikely, and very forgiving on her part, but she had come to love Jackie as a person and for the most part, let go of their past trauma with each other. “You okay, Jacks?” Marley asked softly, as she took a step closer to the young woman. “Have you been here since the battle?”

JACKIE PUCKERMAN

The last few weeks had been some of the best for Jackie. She was waking up before noon. She was running in the park. And she was eating vegetables. Freakin’ vegetables. Although she wished she could attribute the change to some self starting attitude, she couldn’t, not in the least. That thought alone made her feel queasy at the most inopportune times. The sole reason she had been feeling decent lately was one Marley Rose. She would never truly admit herself not matter how many times her subconscious attempted to make it known to her heart and brain. Jackie wouldn’t dare betray her own self like that. Sure she knew that her heart still felt things with Marley, but her heart still felt things with Kitty too. That didn’t mean that she was actively pursuing either avenue. She just felt like she would always have those feelings for those two girls.But now they were friends. And Jackie wasn’t one to ruin friendships, but she also couldn’t stand by and watch Kitty and Marley grow close while a bomb was ticking down between the three girls. She had never hung out with both girls at the same time, but Jackie had been watching them both at Battle of the Bands. After the traditional drink, Jackie made points of the interactions, the smiles, the laughs. She knew the ruse had to end. Both girls would be mad, yes. Both girls would hate her, maybe even each other, but Jackie couldn’t watch as both parts of her heart came together only to drastically tear apart later. Jackie had to make them hate her. Hell, maybe it would work out selfishly, maybe Jackie would get over them. The last few weeks though. Damn, they were good. Getting closer to Marley again. Taking her on adventures. It had to end, didn’t it? “Oh yeah, ha.” Jackie smiled sheepishly and rubbed her eyes before running a hand through her curly hair. Was that glitter on the palms of her hand? “Have you been here since the battle?” She laughed before poking Marley in the arm. A flutter escaped her stomach and entered her heart. She had to do this. It was a necessity.

MARLEY ROSE

Despite her better judgement, Marley smiled over as Jackie poked her arm. There was no harm in it, after all. It was nothing but friendly. Even the fact that she and Jackie could get to a friendly point was a major stepping stone for both of their maturities, she thought. And even though parts of Marley still dully ached from Jackie's betrayal in the worst possible way, this was okay. She could do this. When they'd been together, Marley had never felt safe. She'd never felt as if she could sit back and take a deep breath and know that Jackie would have her heart and her best intentions in it. Even through all the warning signs, Marley didn't think someone like Jackie would ever love her. And in a way, she was right. "Kind of!" Marley nodded, brushing her fingers across her apron. "I took a nap, but I have to go ahead and bake for the weekend. I'm only in for a few hours, then I'll be able to go home and take a big sleep." Quirking an eyebrow, she glanced at Jackie's haphazard appearance. "Are you okay?"

JACKIE PUCKERMAN

The smile. Jackie missed that more than she cared to admit. Sure, Jackie could take Marley places and do things for her and she would smile, but Jackie missed when that smile was all hers. Those were moments to hold on to when it was dreary out. Jackie knew that Marley and Fiona were together and perfect or whatever. She knew that okay. And of course Fiona was one of her best buds. Jackie would never do anything to betray that. The Jackie before, years prior, might have, but the girl had grown up. Slightly. “Little baker Marley. What’s on the menu for today?” Jackie tried to ease her own nerves with a chuckle, but the sound just didn’t seem to escape as it should of. It sounded forced as fuck. This wasn’t going well. “I’m yeah.” She shrugged. “How are you and Fi? Did you guys have fun last night?” This was a last attempt. She knew it was. But last ditch efforts sometimes worked right? Maybe she could steer the conversation or someone would walk in and ruin this altogether. Maybe she could be lucky.

MARLEY ROSE

"Um..." Marley racked her brain for the orders that had to be filled. "Croissants, scones, the usual. Lacey gave me this awesome blueberry lemon bar recipe that I'd like to try if I get some time. I normally just watch The Great British Baking Show while I'm working in the back and try to get some Mary Berry infused energy." Her smile was nervous, the air between them seemed inordinately tense. Still, Marley wasn't going to overthink it. Battles were always a night high in tension, maybe it had something to do with that. When she brought up Fiona, Marley instantly relaxed. "Yeah, she's good! We loved dressing up. Did you come to our nerf battle? It was so dark and chaotic, I didn't get to see everyone there." There was something about talking about her girlfriend that made everything that much better-- even though Fiona wasn't physically there, Marley could feel the safety net spread beneath her feet. Nothing bad could happen to her as long as Fiona was around. Perhaps that was the problem. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you need water, or something? Breakfast?"(edited)

JACKIE PUCKERMAN

“Blueberry lemon bars. Damn that sounds amazing. Two things that I would never think would go together but just do.” She smiled fully this time, almost comparing the blueberry lemon bars to her and Marley. Two things that didn’t go together but somehow did. Well. Before. Before she fucked it all up. The thought made her stomach turn and she knew she just had to do it. Today. Now. Before it was too late. “Yeah I was there. I kinda felt weird about it I guess. My nerf gun is kinda huge.” She smirked slightly remembering how she felt to be surrounded by people that were happy, people that were in love and that were loved. Her heart hurt so badly that she couldn’t stand to be there anymore. She felt like a child again, begging her mother to bring her father home. “I kinda need to come clean about something. It’s been making me sick. Like, physically ill at times. I know that’s stupid, but I just.” Jackie stopped and looked into Marley’s eyes. For a moment she was lost. For a moment she was back to years before when the two dated and things were so much different. Those two people were no longer the same. That was evident. After this, things would never go back to how the use to be. And that scared her to death. Jackie ran her hand in her hair again, stalling. “I have to tell you because you’re friends with her and I don’t want this to come up any other time and it ruin things even further than it will.” Jackie stepped back away from Marley. “When I...” She took a deep breath, her heart beating faster. “When I cheated on you. I never told you who it was with.” She stopped and looked into Marley’s eyes again, searching for recognition. She didn’t know if she could continue. Her heart hurt in a way that was so familiar to her. You’ll never be good enough for her.

MARLEY ROSE

"Really?" Marley asked, tilting her head to the side in slight confusion. She'd thought it was a semi-popular flavor, but then again, Marley trolled enough baking blogs and Lacey's shop to ensure that she'd never run out of ideas. Every time she baked, it made her miss Millie more than she could ever say. Part of her wanted to make it big just so that she could buy Millie a nice place in Jersey, right by the ocean, and visit her whenever she wanted. "Well, I guess you'll have to be my first taste tester, right?" Come clean. Making me sick. You're friends with her. Ruin things even further. Cheated. Never told you who. There it was. The other shoe. Jackie was a dancer, surely she understood the significance of a ballerina hovering in a death-defying way on one foot. Despite all that Marley had been through, she steeled herself, wondering how much of her heart was left for Jackie to break. In all the years that it had been, Jackie hadn't told her. Honestly, Marley didn't want to know. There were so many souls living in New York City, it would have been easy for someone to capture Jackie's. Not when they were exciting. Not like freshman year Marley, still scared of her own shadow. Not like Iowa Marley, who hadn't found her voice yet. "You can tell me anything," Marley promises, and that much is true. Jackie can tell her anything, she's more than entitled to, and if Jackie wants to get this off of her chest, then that's fine with her. If it will make Jackie feel better, all the more reason to go gung ho with it. Marley has a sneaking suspicion in the pit of her stomach that this is going to make her feel worse, because if her oblivious, naive brain was working into enough overtime she might be able to put the pieces together that one of her friends had been the one who Jackie cheated on her with. Marley's painted-on smile is reassuring, and gives no indication of the storm brewing between her eyes.

JACKIE PUCKERMAN

“That’d be awesome. You always made my stomach happy.” Jackie smiled reassuringly, knowing Marley needed that sometimes. Jackie stopped, biting her lip slightly and switching her weight to her other foot. Jackie needed something to hold onto or she was gonna collapse. “I don’t think I told you initially because the wound was still too new, ya know? And it hurt you and it hurt me. Obviously not as much as you, I’m not dumb enough to say that. I just. I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud, make it true.” She stopped. God she was an idiot. “I know it was true and it happened and I was stupid. I can say I’ve grown from it but I know that doesn’t help.” Jackie couldn’t meet Marley’s eyes now. She could feel the sting of tears begging to run down her face and give everything away. She sniffed hard, steeling herself for what was to come out of her mouth. “It was Kitty.” Jackie breathed out. Her voice almost above a whisper. “Like I said, you guys have gotten closer and I had to tell you so that it didn’t come out later and explode even further and decimate everything.” Jackie shook her head. “I know that I’m fucked up and that maybe I shouldn’t have said anything but I couldn’t let you just sit by and feel like an idiot down the road and think we were in on some sick joke against you cause I swear to G-d we weren’t.” She had to stop to breathe. But her breath didn’t come. Her heart pounded loud in her head. “I...don’t know what to say. I know that the last few weeks have been...nice between us and I hate that I had to ruin this again but you deserved to know. I...had to tell you.” Jackie almost stumbled as she switched her weight again. It was out. It was done. She should have felt better, but somehow she felt like that wound was reopened and spewing out putrid acid that would threaten to eat her alive.

MARLEY ROSE

It was Kitty. It was Kitty. It was Kitty. It's just like the movies, really. Marley doesn't even hear the rest of Jackie's explanation, and it doesn't make much sense to her. If it had come out later, then Marley would be even further removed from the situation. Maybe she and Kitty would laugh, maybe they'd have kids of their own, and laugh over the time they both were caught up in a tizzy over the same girl. The same three girls. As soon as all of the oxygen gets sucked out of the room, Marley panics. In a way it's a relief, because she's always known that Kitty hated her and couldn't understand why. How stupid had she been, to think that it was something trivial like a crush? How stupid had she been, that they'd held this secret together and let her make an absolute fool out of herself? Marley thought back to every single one of her sleepovers with Kitty, to the times they'd lay crying in bed together over Taylor Swift's latest song, and couldn't help but wonder why she just hadn't told her. Then again, it wasn't her secret to tell. It was Jackie's. Jackie didn't owe her this explanation. Jackie didn't have to tell Marley who it was-- that didn't matter. It could have been anyone. Jackie had still cheated, still decided that whatever she potentially had with Kitty was better than her relationship with Marley. Kitty was exciting, after all.Marley wants to scream. She wants to yell, she wants to give Jackie a piece of her mind, she wonders how she possibly could have listened to hours and hours of explanations of how it was a mistake and Jackie still loved her when clearly it wasn't. She hadn't. She's furious. Why not? Why hadn't they told her? Why had Jackie waited until Marley had been lured into a false sense of security, a safety net? Why hadn't Kitty bothered to clear the air? Were they really friends, or was this all some kind of delusion. No, a voice in her head argued back. Kitty loves you. You love her. You're past this. There's an explanation. You know it. Marley opens her mouth about three times to give Jackie some kind of final blow, something she could say to make Jackie hurt more than she does right now. "Excuse me, please." She turns on her heel and locks herself in the storage room for half an hour instead.

#ftf: i knew you were trouble #ftf: jackie #jackie #ftf

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