#this year i completely stepped out of my comfort zone and moved to a new city (a BIG city)

[mielgf]

wishing you all comfort, love, and contentment in 2023, whatever that may look like for you ✨❤️ happy new year!!

[adviceformefromme]

10 ways I became anxiety free.

To overcome anxiety you need to put in the work, this is not some click-your-fingers-and-its-gone shit. You need to return home to yourself and learn to live in alignment with your truth and not what society expects from you. I went from years on years of crippling anxiety and panic attacks to living completely anxiety-free for many years now, here’s what I did....

1 ) I fucking paused. I created a space for myself daily to meditate / journal. I stopped listening to the outside world and started tuning into me. I noticed the voice in my head and all the ways it was kicking me down at every given opportunity. I noticed how I worked a job that was so far from everything I loved and valued in life, I started noticing the men I was choosing and how they would fuel my anxiety by giving me scraps of love which I accepted and tolerated for years. I noticed the ‘friends’ who’s energy I felt off around, I noticed my vices, drinking alcohol even dabbling in drugs and smoking for release. In pausing I really got to see how my life was so far from love, and this distance manifested as anxiety as a signal for me to come back home to myself. 

2) I stopped talking / obsessing over my anxiety. The more I read about it, spoke about it, the more it could live within me. I was feeding it each day the more I focused on it. I stopped giving anxiety my energy. I accepted it was there, and focused on feeling better. 

3) I got help. I found a therapist I trusted and could understand me (it can take some time) and this was a game changer. I did a course of cognitive behavioural therapy for 3 months (which I privately extended to 9 months) and learnt all the ways my childhood wounds had been playing out in my adult life. I would choose men that would validate my belief that I was not worthy, something I believed as a child from my dad. There was a long list of old beliefs that I was playing out in my everyday life triggering my anxiety at every opportunity. 

4) I moved my body, I did regular exercise, dancing, yoga, running, pilates, walking. In order to get that uncomfortable feeling out my stomach, it was crucial the energy in my body was being moved otherwise I was energetically stuck.

5) I learnt how to connect with my inner child, I found out what I needed, where I was neglecting myself, and this was huge for my anxiety relief. I read Susan Anderson for steps on how to do this.

6) I got new friends. I changed my circle, and with this my energy changed. I spent time with women who inspired me, educated me, lifted me up, and this took time. There were periods I had no friends but I knew it was more important to be alone than be around people who were not aligned with me, and my values. 

7) I stopped dating unavailable men, as my self love and worth grew I was no longer interested in men that rejected or treated me like an option. I choose men who treated me as I desired, with respect, care, interest, love and affection. Hot and cold men held no place in my life and this helped shift ALOT of my anxiety as my father wound was a huge part of the anxiety I was feeling on a daily basis. A man ignoring me for 3 days would trigger severe anxiety until I heard back.

9) I choose a career and jobs in alignment with my truth. I said no to jobs not paying me enough, jobs with toxic teams. At interviews I learnt about the culture and asked questions to see if I was a good fit for me. 

10) I poured into my passions and built my confidence, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and proved my limiting beliefs wrong. I travelled alone, I learnt to enjoy my own company, I read books, attended retreats, listened to music that made me feel good, I helped other people, I switched off my phone. 

All of the above was a huge process spanning over 10 years, it required time, energy, determination, heaps of self love and commitment, financial investment (self-funded), and an overwhelming desire to heal the parts of me that my anxiety was attached to. 

[formulalfc]

an-hey love hope you like this xoxo

Walls Around My Heart

Part 2

Charles Leclerc x reader

tw-Charles being kinda an asshole

You were out in Mexico with Charles and some others from the Ferrari team celebrating his podium, huddled into a booth in the VIP section of some club that Checo had recommended, bottles of expensive alcohol littered across the table.

You weren’t really interested in going out much now that you were in your 20s as you had spent much of your teen years getting hammered at the weekends and waking up in states you were embarrassed to admit to, but Charles had had a rough season with Ferrari and you felt bad about the fan reactions to his win and so you had agreed to go out with him.

You hadn’t really spent that much time with the team yet and were still very uneasy around so many faces you didn’t know well but Charles was having the time of his life, laughing obnoxiously loud at something one his analysts said while knocking back shot after shot.

You scooted closer to him in the booth, trying to get closer to him to make yourself feel a bit more comfortable around this amount of unknown people.

Charles had felt you moving close to him and placed his arm around your waist and leaned down to ask you, “what’s wrong love.”

You took a breath before responding, “I’m okay I just don’t feel like I fit in here, nobody wants to talk to me, and I feel uncomfortable.”

He pulled back, a frown on his face as he spoke, “my team have been more than welcoming to you this weekend and all you’ve done is sit here in the corner and not even try to speak to them. They’re not the problem, you are. You couldn’t just take a step out of your comfort zone for me, you might as well not be here.”

You flinched back at his tone, he has never spoke to you like that.

You looked down at your lap as you tried to stutter out an apology before shuffling out of the booth.

You rushed past the crowds of people in the club trying to find the neon toilet sign you had spotted earlier before you completely broke down.

Once you had found it you pushed through the door and ran into a stall, flipping the seat down and covering your mouth as you collapsed on the lid, your sobs racking through your body.

You had always been a very shy person, years of being spoken down to and shouted at as a kid had made you build walls so high around your heart that you had kept your circle of friends small and weren’t keen on letting new people in.

It had taken a lot for you to let Charles in and now you were remembering why you had protected yourself.

[numinously-yours]

Pick a flower: For your May

Happy May everyone! I hope it is warm and sunshiney where you are. Wisconsin is a beautiful 63 and sunny!

As I like to do with a new months, we're looking at three questions:

What do you need to leave behind in April?

What obstacles might May bring?

What can you bring with you into May?

Then I have a theme/word corresponding to your month.

Pick a flower from above and find your group below

Group 1: Nurturing Practicality (Queen of Pentacles)

What do you need to leave in April? Three of Wands rev.

Leave behind your comfort zone. You played it safe in April, thinking you didn’t have what it takes to accomplish your goals/dreams. There could have some some delays that occurred and maybe those seemed like “a sign” to not go for it. Signs can be confusing! But this is a new sign to let you know to keep going when you know it’s what you want.

What obstacles might May bring? Knight of Cups rev.

With that in mind, you may find yourself overdoing it in May. Find a balance for yourself. What pushes you juuust enough out of your comfort zone without it being a complete 180? Or, before you act, create a vision for yourself on how you want it to play out. Perhaps start with writing & drawing your biggest hopes out of the situation. Then look at it objectively and see what is realistic. Maybe you can’t spend thousands of dollars to fly to Paris and explore fashion. But, can you go to boutiques in your hometown and see what beautiful items are right in your back yard? Inspiration can be found in a lot of places.   

What can you bring into May? Queen of Swords & Nine of Wands

As you enter May, enter with courage and unbiased judgement. These cards (all of them!) are screaming “TRUST YOUR ABILITIES!” I know that you’re scared, but you really can do it. There are things about yourself that you haven’t even discovered yet. Having the courage to pursue the scary things is going to be so worth it. If there is anyone in your life who is making you feel badly about the decisions you’re making, this is your sign that setting boundaries with them is GOOD. Even if they are someone you love and appreciate, you are allowed to set boundaries. (Boundaries also take courage and are a form of self-love).

Group 2: Possibilities (Page of Cups)

What do you need to leave in April? Three of Swords

I have this feeling of overwhelming sadness and disappointment. You’re grieving something. I am not going to tell you to stop grieving, because grief is a process, but what I do think you should try to leave behind is the idea that it never gets better. It is hard to believe, I know, but it DOES. Each day it will hurt just a little bit less, even if you don’t feel it at the time. You may still think about this situation daily – I’ve thought about my grandma every single day for the last 8 years since she passed. But now it comes more often with smiles than with tears. I just say that so you know you’re not alone with grief regardless of if it's the loss of a person, a job, or anything else that was important to you. I just wanna give you a hug 🤍

What obstacles might May bring? The Magician rev. & The Queen of Pentacles

There may be a motherly figure in your life this month who tries to keep you down. They may also be grieving this same situation and think that you “moving on” is you not caring anymore. But, that’s not the case. Taking care of yourself and moving forward doesn’t mean you don’t care. Two things can be true at once: you can continue grieving AND work on healing. It is likely this person doesn’t have the tools to do their own healing so they want others to wallow with them. It is not your responsibility to take care of this person’s feelings, no matter how much they mean to you. You can grieve with them, certainly, but you are allowed to have a boundary that says, “I need to step away from this so I can keep myself healthy.” (ps, this queen of pentacles REALLY wanted to come out. It showed itself to me like three times while shuffling and then it finally came out. Group 1 might have some messages for you, too!)

What can you bring into May? The Chariot & Four of Cups rev.

Okay, I’m copying the text right from Biddy Tarot because it is PERFECT. From the Chariot:

“Others may try to block you, distract you, or drag down the pursuit of your goal. But The Chariot is an invitation to draw upon your willpower and home in on what’s essential to you, so you can push past the obstacles in your way.”

I don’t know how this CAN’T be about the obstacles above. As you move into the new month, bring with you introspection and self-care. Know that it is okay to say “no” when you know you don’t have the energy to participate (in a heavy conversation, in an outing, in someone coming over). Exhausting yourself for the sake of others is only going to take away from the healing. Find the things that ground you, do some meditation, and just “be”.  

Group 3: Self-prioritization (Seven of Swords)

What do you need to leave in April? The Hierophant rev.

Take the need for external validation and chuck it! You don’t need that moving forward. You know what your values are. You know what motivates you. And you know that it’s not in the majority. In the past, this has prevented you from taking action or doing what you felt was best. You didn’t want to stir the pot and that makes sense. But, it’s time to give yourself permission to trust your gut and do what is best for yourself.

What obstacles might May bring? The Chariot & The High Priestess

The biggest obstacle in the upcoming month is your subconscious. Going against the grain IS scary and your subconscious will probably try to save you from the discomfort of it. But you have the strength, willpower, and determination to power through. People may try to convince you to stick to the status quo and, yeah, it would be easy to just do it. But, is that what you actually want? Fighting toward what you DO want is going to bring you out stronger on the other end.

What can you bring into May? Five of Wands

An open mind. Something this card suggests is having discussions about the conflict that may ensue from you following your own path. People may try to manipulate you into staying the same or tell you that you’re a bad person because you’re going your own way. But, this is coming from a place that’s important to them. Can you discuss why they feel that way? What is their end goal and how can your new path still lead you to the goal? Just because you aren’t doing life the same way, doesn’t mean that you both can’t be successful. Remember: having an open mind doesn’t mean changing minds. If they’re still frustrated that you’re not coming back around, but you’ve had a discussion, they need to work through the frustration. You did your due diligence.

Group 4: Open mindedness (King of Swords)

What do you need to leave in April? Ace of Cups

The ace of cups usually indicates love – receiving it, giving it, being it. As I think about what this could mean in terms of leaving something behind, I think it might be the hesitancy to open up to love. You are full of love, and I think you know this, but you might be protective of it. It’s okay to take down your shield in order to let the love move onto others and to let it flow to you.

What obstacles might May bring? Seven of Cups

I don’t know if this is necessarily related to the above, but an obstacle you might face in May is the lack of gumption behind ideas. You have a lot of ideas in your head on what you want to do, who you want to be, how you want to interactive with others, and where you want to go. But, you come up with so MANY ideas that then you find it hard to execute them. Take time to analyze your ideas and see what is realistic. Think about ways to prioritize all your ideas. What is most important to you? What has the most impact? Can you actually do them all?

What can you bring into May? Knight of Wands rev.

This card really reiterates the obstacles and how to overcome them. In reverse, the knight of wands acknowledges all of your creative energy. It’s this energy that gets you excited and inspires all of these ideas in your head. But, the card also acknowledges the need to slow down. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do everything all at once. If you are struggling to prioritize, try to think of alternative methods of achieving your goals. Maybe there are baby steps you can take toward each so you feel like you are accomplishing them all. It might go slower, but could help you feel less overwhelmed. Lastly, keep an open mind. There will be things that happen which are out of your control. Take a beat, readjust your expectations, and get back at it.

[jawabear]

Hi 👋🏻 how are you?

I was wondering if I could drop in a cheeky request please with soap if that's OK?

Soap meeting reader for the first time on a mission (maybe new member of the team? ) and being completely blown away by how bad ass they are. He starts declaring to all the other boys that he's gonna marry the reader and ghost just being like 'you dont stand a chance' 😂 😊

I'm loving all your COD works, looking forward to future fics!

Hope you have a lovely day 😊💛

Not my GIF

One day

Johnny “Soap” Mctavish x Reader

A/N: this is my first time writing for Johnny and i hope i got his character right? i rewrote this like four times because i couldn't get a good story going. But i hope you like this? for anyone who isnt from England, Spoons is the place to be.

Genre: fluff

Warnings: drinking, drunk soap, mention of injury, hint of past bad relationships, bit of angst i guess

Summary: Soap is set. He's ready. But he's drunk.

“You haven’t got a hope in hell” Gaz laughed obnoxiously loudly at Soap’s confession. 

“I’m going to marry her one day” Soap had said. Perhaps it was the buzz of his countless beers that made him say it, but even in that drunk state, he knew his words rang true. He was utterly enthralled by you. He had been since the first time he saw you out on the field. 

He was completely captured by the way you moved so flawlessly through the filed, never missing a shot, never missing a hit, never stepping a foot out of place. You were relatively new to the military. He and the rest of 141 had been briefed on new comers that would be joining them as a back up squad on one of their missions. Johnny wasn’t expecting much from them being new and all. But he was pleasantly surprised but the majority of them. They all handled themselves with such precision and perfection. None caught his eye quite the same as you did though. 

He had been so distracted by the way you practically danced on the battle field, dodging bullets and rubble as if it had all been choreographed for years, that he failed to notice the  bullet hurtling towards him. 

“Get down Sergeant!” You screamed as you tackled him to the ground. The bullet whistling over head and embedding itself into a nearby tree. “Are you alright, sir?” You panted as you pushed yourself off him, hovering over him, looking into those beautifully bright blue eyes. 

He looked…well, it was hard to say how he looked with the chaos around you both. Perhaps it was shock of nearly getting shot, or maybe surprise that you had tackled him to save him. “Sir?” You questioned again. He wasn’t sir. Not to anyone, so not to you even if you were basically a recruit. 

“Call me Johnny” he flashed you a smile. It brought you a strange sense of comfort in a literal war zone. You smiled back at him and nodded. 

“Then call me (Y/N)” you said. The two of you remained side by side for the rest of the mission. He knew then what he knows now. 

“I am going to marry her” he slurred as he set his now empty beer bottle on the sticky pub table. He sounded like a pouting child. His cheek flushed from alcohol making him look even more like a sulking child who was told he can’t be superman for halloween. 

“I can’t say I’m convinced by this” Price said setting down his half drunk glass of scotch. Price didn’t really get drunk, it never aided him and often lead to him making terrible decisions. He and Ghost were mostly sober while Gaz and Soap drunk their body weight combined in beer, whiskey and whatever else they could get their hands on. Good thing they weren’t going back in the field for a while. It would probably take a week for their hangovers to pass. 

Soap let out a burp and spotted you at the bar. You were telling to Laswell, a smile on your face as Kate laughed at something you undoubtedly said. Johnny loved your humour, it was dark and almost dry, similar to Ghost but you knew your audience. Unlike Ghost. 

“Gonna ask her now” he declared as he pushed himself off his seat. He wobbled on his feet and Gaz laughed. He was the laughing kind of drunk. 

“That’s not a good idea Johnny” Ghost warned, shaking his head to his friend. Johnny just shrugged and stumbled his way over to the bar, over to you.

He basically fell in between you and Kate, interrupting whatever you were talking about. “You look terrible” Kate chuckled as she pushed him to stand straight. 

“(Y/N)” he almost whined as he fell on you. You laughed and grabbed his shoulders to push him upright again. 

“Johnny, are you alright?”

“‘M fine” he gave you a lazy smile. 

“You’re clearly drunk”

“On you” he said “marry me” 

Kate choked on her drink, spitting it over the back of Johnny’s jacket. “What?!” You yell a little loudly. A few people turning to face you, but luckily, it was rugby night, most of the pub goers were cheering at the tv in the far corner of the pub. 

“Marry me” he said again. A little more firmly. 

You let out a nervous laugh and patted his shoulders. “I’m flattered, really. But no, Johnny”

“Why?” He definitely whined this time. And pouted.  

“Because, we’re not even dating. And you’re drunk. Very drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying”

“Then date me. I want to marry you” he pleaded. If it weren’t for you holding him up by his shoulders, you bet he would’ve been begging on his knees for you to marry him. A ridiculous idea. But it was endearing to say the least. 

You couldn’t deny your feelings for the Scot. You feel for his humour, his kind nature, those beautiful blue eyes, just everything. It was an unexpected crush, but it was the best feeling. 

You gave him a gentle and reassuring smile “ask me again when your sober and know what you’re saying” 

Before he could response with something most likely ridiculous, an arm wrapped under his shoulders and pulled him away from you. You looked to see Ghost. Price was next to him, carting Gaz in his arms. Gaz was laughing like a mad man while pointing at Soap. 

“He’s a whiny drunk” Ghost muttered. You let out a soft laugh. 

“Make sure to look after them, don’t let them drink any more” you told them. Ghost nodded and the four soldiers left the bar. 

You struggled to draw your eyes away from the doorway that they left through. You replayed the moment in your head. Thinking of his words and wondering if he did mean them or if it was just the alcohol talking. But even if it was, why would he come to you in a bar full of beautiful women? Unless it was a dare? It would explain why Gaz was laughing so much. But they all knew about your feelings for Soap. Even drunk, you knew Gaz wouldn’t betray you like that. 

“That was something” Kate muttered returning from what you guessed was the bathroom after cleaning her face from her spat out drink. 

You turned to look at her, straightening your posture. Kate also knew how you felt about Johnny, but you didn’t like to talk about it. You had ben burned too many times in the past by boyfriends. You didn’t want to go through anything like that again, especially not in this profession. Especially not with someone as amazing as Johnny. 

“Yes” was all you muttered as you circled the rim of your glass. 

“You should’ve said yes” 

“We’re not even dating” you argued weakly.

“Exactly. So you should’ve said yes. He asked you to date him after, right?”

You didn’t respond at first, replaying that exact moment in your head. “Then date me. I want to marry you”

“He was drunk” you responded eventually. Kate shrugged and took a sip of her newly refiled drink. 

“Even if he wasn’t, would you say yes?” 

That was the question. 

-

Hangover didn’t even come close to describing what Johnny was going through. Being shot hurt less than this. His head pounded as he weakly held his hand out to cover the window. The curtains had been opened and the morning sun was pouring in. Damn these east facing rooms. He knew Simon had drawn the curtains back to spite him for getting so drunk and probably keeping him up most of the night. He was sure that Simon would now want to swap rooms with Gaz. Leave the two drunkards to sort themselves out. 

Soap dropped his hand after his failed attempt to block out the sun and knocked something on the bedside table. He squinted to see what it was. A glass of water, two painkillers and a note that read in capitals: SORT YOURSELF OUT. SPOONS AT 12. He looked to the clock beside the note and saw it was 11:32. Johnny groaned and flopped his head back to the pillow. “Fuckin’ christ” he swore to himself. 

He had to get up. Sooner rather than later. As much as he would’ve loved to lay in the comfort of the hotel bed all day, he still had to be a member of society unfortunately. Yes, it was a holiday week for 141 and others but they still needed to represent their force. Johnny wasn’t doing a good job at that in bed. 

At exactly 12:14, he was ready to head to the whetherspoons downstairs, mentally prepared for the bollocking for being late to lunch, and for getting in such a state last night. 

As he was walking to the lift, a memory hit him like a brick to the face. “Marry me” he heard his voice in his head. 

“I’m flattered, really. But no Johnny”

“Oh fuck” he groaned to himself as he buried his face in his hands. “You’re a fuckin’ idiot Johnny” 

-

The members of 141 were hesitant on letting Soap go to the bar alone. After the previous night, they didn’t want him to get into trouble or say something else he would regret. But he insisted he would only have one drink. He didn’t eat to recreate what he had already done. 

He sat the the bar nursing his first and only beer, half drunk. He was taking it slow. He hadn’t see you so far and was hoping he’d be able to dodge you until the whole thing blew over and you forgot about it. He didn’t know what he would say to you if he did see you. He would probably blurt out a pathetic apology and welcome the slap from you and the fact you never wanted him to speak to you again. He would accept that. Anything to save him from awkward confrontation. 

But there was something else that rung in his mind. 

“Ask me when you’re sober” you had said to him, a sweet and sincere smile on your face. Had you meant that? Did you want him to ask you out, or were you just humouring him?

“Don’t drink to much tonight, who knows what could happen” came a teasing voice behind him. He didn’t need to turn to see who it was, and he didn’t want to turn. He didn’t want to face you. But he couldn’t just leave. 

“Just having one” he muttered to you as you sat on the stool next to him and ordered your drink. 

“A wise choice” you nodded “how are you feeling?” 

Johnny picked at the label of the bottle. He couldn’t look at you. He was too embarrassed. To scared that he would say something stupid (again) and push you away from him forever. He didn’t want to loose you but he didn’t know how to fix his problem. “Alright” he muttered. 

“That’s good” you said. It was awkward for you both. The rowdiness of the bar only making the silence between you louder. “About last night-“

“I’m sorry” he buttered out. Just like he knew he would “it was stupid. So stupid. I didn’t mean to say any of that. I was drunk and things happen when people are drunk. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable and I understand if you hate me now”

You laughed. Laughed. The laugh caused him to lift his gaze to you. Why were you laughing? 

“I don’t hate you, Johnny” you said when your laughter subsided. “It would take more than a marriage proposal for me to hate you. It’s okay”

“Wh-“ he was stunned, “seriously? But I…it was wrong”

“Yes. But it’s fine. Like you said you were drunk” your face fell. He noticed that. But he didn’t know why “you didn’t mean any of what you said” 

“Ask me again when your sober” 

Oh. Was that why? Did you feel the same?

“Did…did you want me…to mean it?” He said slowly. He was being cautious now. He didn’t want to read the situation wrong and make things worse. But, how could it get any worse?

There was a silence again between you both. A silence that went on and on as you both fiddled with your drinks. 

“Yes” you almost whispered. He didn’t know how he heard you with your quiet voice and the loud club around you. Maybe it was because he was hanging on to anything you had to offer him. Anything to help him climb out of this hole he had dug himself. 

He looked to you. You looked at your drink as if it were the secrets of the universe. Your eyes looked glassy. Were you about to cry? Why? Was he not meant to hear you?

“Which part?” He but in quickly. You looked at him in shock. This lead him to believe that he wasn’t meant to hear you. You blinked at him a few times and swallowed. “You wanted me to ask you again. Ask you to…date me. Did you want me to mean that?” You slowly nodded. It was a shallow nod, but it was enough for him. “I did. I did mean what I said. I just didn’t mean to say it then”

He turned on the stool and reached to take your hand in his. “Will you date me? Do you want to be with me?”

You nodded again. The nod deeper this time. Your eyes getting wetter but a smile rising on your lips. “yes. I want to be with you” 

He smiled to and squeezed your hand, “good. Because all I want is you. Forever. One day, I will ask you to marry me” 

“And that day, I will say yes” 

12/2/23

[dottielovegood]

I love the holiday prompts! Maybe 7 or 11 for Feyre and Cassian causing chaos together like they do when they’re decorating together ACOFAS? (Perhaps they even involve Elain and Azriel in their nonsense this year!)

Thank you so much for this prompt! It was my first time writing something that wasn't purely elriel, which really forced me out of my comfort zone. I'm not sure I got the characterization of Cassian and Feyre completely right, but I hope you like it anyway! :) I had a lot of fun with this one (and I got to re-read all the Solstice scenes in the books for research, which was great!)

I wanted to post this a few days ago but then life (and Christmas) got in the way. I hope you're all still feeling at least a bit festive!

7: "What is it?" (and odd Christmas gift) 11: "I can't believe we did that"

Summary: While drunkenly decorating the house for Solstice, Cassian and Feyre decide to do some last minute Solstice shopping for Elain and Azriel.

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─────

Solstice Mischief

A few days before Solstice

“A little more to the right.”

Cassian held up the giant wreath over the fireplace and moved it slightly to his right. “Like this?” 

Feyre sipped her wine and gave him a thumbs up, “That’s perfect.”

“So, it’s in the middle now?”

“Not even close,” she laughed and took another sip. This was her third glass of wine and she was already feeling slightly drunk. She hadn’t had much alcohol since having Nyx and apparently, her new body was a bit more sensitive to the effects of wine now. 

She watched from her seat on the sofa as Cassian put the wreath up over the mantle. It looked awful. They had made the wreath together earlier and it was definitely the ugliest wreath she had ever seen, which is exactly what made it so perfect. 

This had become one of the traditions Feyre most looked forward to on Solstice - getting drunk and decorating the house with Cassian. They hadn’t meant for it to look so awful that first year, but the two bottles of wine had certainly not turned either of them into interior designers. When Azriel had seen what they had done, he had promptly started to fix their mistakes while muttering under his breath that Feyre was an artist and should, at least, be able to decorate the mantle properly. 

The next year, Feyre had asked Cassian to come over just to get his mind off the fact that Nesta was going to dance with Eris in the Court of Nightmares the following evening. Feyre, being pregnant, had obviously not gotten drunk that year but Cassian had drunk enough for both of them. Then Cassian had asked her if she thought that Azriel would come to their rescue again if they tried to decorate the house just like the previous year, and since Feyre was adamant on making Cassian feel better, she just let him lead the way. That year, the ugliness had been intentional. 

And sure enough, as soon as Azriel stepped through the door that evening he had just taken one look at the mess they had made and started to sweep the floor. 

“You really are the worst decorators in Prythian,” he told them as he straightened the garlands. 

This year, they obviously needed to protect their reputation as The Worst Decorators in Prythian, which is why they asked Rhys to take Nyx for the evening. Elain had already made plans to go out for some last minute Solstice shopping with the twins, so they had the house all to themselves. 

“So, do you think we can do an even shittier job than last year?” Cassian asked as soon as he arrived at the house, carrying an armful of pine boughs. Feyre had just smiled at him and pointed to the tree in the corner of the room. “I got the saddest looking tree at the market earlier.”

Cassian raised his eyebrows and nodded in silent appreciation. “Wow, we might actually make him cry this year.” 

“There is no way he can make this tree look good.” 

“No chance in hell,” Cassian chuckled. “Get the wine, Feyre. We have some work to do.”

A few hours later and they were almost done. Feyre looked around the room and had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. Not only was the floor covered in pine needles, but every single thing was crooked or slightly out of place. 

Cassian took a step back to admire his handiwork. “Well, that wreath really is ugly, Feyre. Maybe we should have asked Elain for some help?”

“And where would be the fun in that?” she asked from where she was seated on the couch, sorting through the last box of decorations. “We want to make Azriel’s pedantic side itch, remember? If Elain helped, he would probably love it all. They are both perfectionists.” 

Cassian poured himself another glass of wine and sat down next to Feyre. “And he has a soft spot for your sister, so yeah, that would totally ruin our plan.” 

Feyre smiled at him, “He does, doesn’t he?” 

“Yeah,” Cassian hesitated for just a moment. “Or, he did, at least.”

“What do you mean?” 

Cassian let out a breath. “Honestly, I feel like I never see him anymore. A few months ago, I remember thinking that he was starting to get over Mor, and it got me thinking of a possible reason behind that, and I came to the conclusion that Elain might be the reason. I thought they were just friends, but the way he always stood up for her, always protected her,” he shrugged. “I don’t know. I might be completely wrong.”

Feyre sat up straighter and turned to face him, “You know, I once told Rhys that Elain would probably cling to Azriel if she ever came to Prythian, and that’s what she did. She let him take her out in the garden, she spent a good part of that first Solstice with him talking about her plans for the garden…” Feyre trailed off, trying to think of the last time she had seen her sister and Azriel together. She couldn’t remember. 

“And she gave him that headache powder,” Cassian added. 

Feyre smiled at the memory. At the way her friend had thrown his head back and laughed when he opened the gift from her sister. She had never heard such joy from that male before, or since.

“What did they get each other last year?”

“I… honestly, I don’t remember.” Cassian scratched his jaw, seeming lost in thoughts. “Lucien got her a pair of earrings, right?”

Feyre nodded. “Yes, but I can’t remember what Az gave her. Or if she got him anything.”

Cassian hummed and raised his glass to his lips. “Neither can I.”

Feyre tried, and failed, to remember what everyone got that Solstice. Maybe they had gotten each other gifts and she had just forgotten, but it was definitely more likely that they hadn’t. Feyre would have remembered. Wouldn’t she?

So many things had changed in a year. Feyre was happy that all the people she loved were still alive, yet she still felt an ache in her heart when she thought about Azriel. Something had changed in him since last year and she had no idea what, or why. 

“How is he doing?” she asked carefully, hoping that Cassian might know something about his friend, though she doubted it. 

Cassian just shrugged. “I don’t know. As I said, I barely see him. He has been on missions for weeks on end all year. He barely has time to touch down at home before he’s off again.”

“Where is he now?” Feyre tried to remember what Rhys had told her about Azriel’s whereabouts, but it was impossible for her to remember in her current wine haze. 

“The continent. He was going to meet up with Mor and then they’ll go home together for Solstice.” 

“And then?” 

Cassian let out a humorless laugh. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Feyre leaned back and emptied her glass of wine. She let out a heavy breath, “I miss him.” 

“Me too,” he said and patted her knee. “Me too.”

Silence fell between them and Feyre couldn’t help but wonder if Elain missed Azriel too. Elain had always been hard to read since she always kept her thoughts and feelings for herself in order to not bother anyone. For a while there, she started to open up and stand up for herself and a part of Feyre had always thought that Elain’s friendship with Azriel was part of that. But then something changed…

Cassian squeezed her knee, effectively bringing her back to reality. He reached for the bottle and refilled her glass. “Okay, we’re starting to sound very sad-drunk when we’re supposed to be festive-drunk,” he put the bottle down and raised his glass. “To being the worst decorators in Velaris three years in a row.” 

Feyre laughed and clinked her glass to his, “I’ll drink to that.”

They spent the next 30 minutes decorating the tree together and Feyre couldn’t stop laughing at how awful it looked. “It’s like putting makeup on a pig.” This was the first time they had ever had a real tree indoors for Solstice since it was an Illyrian tradition and not something most people in Velaris did. It might also very well be the last, unless they decided to piss Azriel off for the fourth time in a row. 

Cassian held up the last item in the box. “Do you want to do the honors?” 

Feyre took the golden star from him and looked at the tree. There was no chance in hell that she was reaching the top. Even Cassian might be too short for this monstrosity. “I think you might have to carry me.”

Without so much as a word, Cassian wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her up. She shrieked and grabbed the nearest wall just to keep herself from falling. “High enough for you, high lady?” Cassian chuckled and tightened his grip around her waist. 

“Actually, if you could go a bit higher…”

“If I did, that would put your ass right in my face, and there is only one Archeron ass I want in my face and I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s not yours.” Feyre reached behind herself and smacked Cassian with the tree topper, which just earned her a roaring laugh from her friend. 

Somehow, she was able to put the tree topper on the tree without injuring anyone and when Cassian let her down they stepped back to behold the wonder of the ugliest tree in Velaris. 

“He’s going to hate it.” 

Cassian grinned, “I think everyone will hate this. We have absolutely outdone ourselves.” He held up his hand and Feyre smacked it with hers. “But yes, he will have a fit,” Cassian continued. “Hopefully he’ll get some nice gifts to make up for it.” 

“Maybe some new towels from Mor?” Feyre suggested.

“I could always give him one of the silk shirts she’s given me over the years.”

Feyre let out a snort. “How is she so bad at gift giving?”

“I have no idea,” Cassian shrugged. “She’s always been shit at it.”

Feyre lifted her glass to her lips and was very disappointed to find it empty. 

“Speaking of gifts,” Cassian continued, “Do you think Azriel has bought Elain something this year? I mean, even if they didn’t give each other anything last year, Elain still gave him that powder. Which means that he owes her”

Clearly, Feyre wasn’t the only one who couldn’t stop thinking about the lack of gifts between her sister and the shadowsinger last year. 

“I don’t think you can really owe anyone when it comes to gifts. At least I don’t think Elain would see it that way.”

Cassian raised his eyebrows. “Have you met Azriel?” he asked. “Do you really think that he would be fine with getting anything without giving something back?” 

Feyre shook her head because no, no he wouldn’t. “That’s why it’s so weird that they didn’t get each other anything last year. I really did expect him to buy her something.” Feyre chewed her bottom lip, hesitating a bit before continuing. “But then again, Lucien was there. It might have been awkward if Azriel gave his mate a gift.”

“You mean more awkward than Elain’s reaction to Lucien’s gift?” Cassian said, a grin spreading across his lips. 

Feyre covered her face with her hands from the secondhand embarrassment that particular memory invoked in her. “Gods, don’t remind me.” Feyre was happy that Lucien wasn’t joining them for Solstice this year. Not because she didn’t want him there, but because his presence clearly made Elain uncomfortable. 

“Maybe we should just buy her a gift from Azriel and see what happens?” Cassian laughed, clearly joking. 

Until he wasn’t. 

At the exact same moment, they both turned to each other, a silent understanding in their eyes. 

Maybe it was the wine talking, but Feyre said. “I mean, it’s not the worst idea you’ve ever had.” 

He shoved her playfully. “What do you mean? I have never had a bad idea in my entire life.”

“Uh-huh, if you say so.”

Cassian smiled at her, his eyes alight with mischief. “No, but seriously. We could, couldn’t we?” 

“We could…” Feyre murmured. “But wouldn’t that potentially leave Azriel without a gift? Then we would have to do this all over again.” 

“Let’s get him one too. And if they have gotten each other gifts, we’ll just hide the ones we got them.” 

Feyre stared at him, unable to hide her slightly drunken smile. “Are you serious? Do you really want to do this?” 

The wicked smirk on Cassian’s face was the only answer she needed. “Get your cloak, Feyre. We’re going shopping.” 

Velaris was bustling with life. Since she first set foot in Velaris, she had loved this city that she now called home, but there was just something about Velaris during Solstice that made her fall in love with the city all over again. There were colorful lights and garlands in every shop window, children playing in the snow and everyone just seemed to have less worries in life during this time of year. 

People greeted them as they walked past and a few children tried to get Cassian to join them in a snowball fight. 

“Not tonight,” he said and ruffled one small boy’s hair. “I am on a very important mission.”

“A secret mission?” the child asked, his eyes big and full of wonder. 

“Exactly, so you can’t tell anyone that you saw us.”

The children promised to keep the secret, which probably meant that they would tell their families all about it as soon as they came home. Feyre just smiled at them as they ran back to their snow forts. She couldn’t wait to get back home to her own family. 

As if on cue, she heard Rhysand’s voice in her mind. 

Where are you, Feyre darling? 

His voice made heat spread through her entire body. 

Just doing some last minute Christmas shopping with Cassian. 

I hope that you’re not buying any more decorations because this house looks awful as is. 

He sent her an image down the bond of their living room that was still covered in pine needles and crooked decorations. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. 

Don’t worry. We’re just getting a few gifts. 

She didn’t tell him about their excellent plan. This was a secret mission, after all. 

And when are you getting home?

Soon. Why? Do you miss me already? 

I miss you all the time. 

His voice was smooth like velvet and Feyre almost asked Cassian to do the shopping by himself so she could return home to her mate. She missed him too, and she missed her son. She hated spending time away from them. 

Before she could answer him, he continued,

I was hoping to find you here. Nyx is sleeping, and Elain isn’t home yet. 

Oh? And what were you planning? Feyre teased.

He sent her multiple images down the bond of exactly what he wanted to do to her if she had been home. Blushing and distracted, she almost crashed into Cassian’s back. 

“Could you stop having mind sex in public?” Cassian muttered and motioned for her to turn left. 

Prick

The only answer she received was Rhysand’s warm laughter. She wanted to bathe in that sound. 

They went into a few shops, considering getting a tea set or kitchen utensils for Elain and daggers for Azriel, but everything just felt wrong and too impersonal. They needed to find something that Elain and Azriel would actually buy each other, which was proving to be more difficult than they had imagined. 

“How about this one?” Cassian held up a book about poisonous plants. “Might be useful?” 

Feyre grimaced, “I might have already gotten her that.” 

“Of course you have,” he muttered and put the book back. “God, this is impossible.”

“If we don’t find anything in ten minutes, we should probably give up.” Feyre turned around and went back to rummaging through the stacks of cook books. 

Cassian nodded, but she could tell that he really wasn’t keen on the idea of giving up. When he set his mind to something, it would take a lot for him to back down. 

“How about this one?” Cassian handed her a small, black book decorated with roses and swirls of blues threaded through the vines that decorated the edges. She traced her fingers over the intricate pattern. “It’s pretty.” She turned it over to read the blurb, but there was none. 

“It’s a notebook,” Cassian explained and opened up the book. “Maybe she could write recipes or garden plans in it?”

Feyre hummed and looked around the store again. This was certainly the best gift they had found so far, and she was starting to doubt that they would find something else. “That’s actually a really good idea. I think she’ll like it.”

“See, all of my ideas are great,” Cassian beamed. “So, should we get it?”

“Yeah, we might as well. It’s definitely better than the spatula you showed me earlier.”

They continued down the streets of Velaris until they reached the Rainbow. Feyre could see that the lights were still on in her studio, which meant that Ressina might still be there. 

Feyre took Cassian by the arm and led him to one of her favorite places in the city. She wanted to show him the art that the children had made a few weeks prior. Their work was now being sold and the money would be donated to families in need. It had been the children’s idea and Feyre’s heart had melted when she saw how hard they all worked in order to create their little paintings and clay figurines for such a good cause. 

Ressina greeted them with a warm smile and hugs as soon as they stepped in the door. 

“I didn’t expect to see you this evening,” she said. “Weren’t you decorating your home tonight?” 

“We finished early.” 

“I bet it turned out beautiful.” 

Feyre didn’t dare look at Cassian because she knew that she would burst out laughing if she did. 

“It’s definitely festive.” She could hear the smile in Cassian’s voice and knew that he was trying to hold back his own laughter. 

“I just wanted to show him the children’s work.”

Ressina gestured to the shop, “Well, most things have been sold already,” she smiled, pride written all over her face. “But there are a few things left. You can go look while I finish cleaning the work stations.”

They walked over to the table by the window where the children had displayed their work. There were only a few pieces left and Feyre considered buying all of them, even though she wouldn’t be able to tell what most of them were supposed to be. She just didn’t want a single child to come in here and see that nobody had bought their art. 

“What is that?” Cassian pointed to a painting made by one of the younger children. He turned his head, “It could be a horse, but it could also be a very colorful spider.”

“Well, whatever it is, it has twelve legs, which is a bit excessive,” she laughed. “Luckily, art doesn’t have to make sense.”

Feyre picked up one of the figurines. “Look, it’s you!” 

Cassian furrowed his eyebrows. “How is that me? It’s a black blob.”

“Ah, yes. But it’s a black blob with wings.” She pointed to the oddly shaped wings that stuck out from the black figure. She knew that it was, in fact, supposed to be an Illyrian warrior. The girl that made it told her so, and was very proud when she finished it. 

Cassian snorted. “What is that pink thing he’s holding?” 

“Honestly, I just think she accidentally dipped her brush in the wrong paint and forgot to fix it.” She held it up next to his face. “The resemblance is uncanny.” 

Grinning, he took the figurine from her. “I think it looks more like Azriel. His wings are smaller and a bit wonky.”

Feyre couldn’t help but to think back to the conversation she had with Mor years ago about Illyrians and their wingspans. Laughing, she patted Cassian’s arm. “Sure, whatever makes you sleep better at night.”

“I’m serious,” he held it up to the light. “Add a few blue siphons and nobody could tell the difference.”

“A few minutes ago you called it a blob.” 

“Yes, but it’s an Azriel shaped blob. We should get it for him.”

Feyre looked at the black figurine in Cassian’s hand. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was quite certain that nobody else would buy it. It did look like a blob with wings.

Even if Azriel ended up hating it, at least buying it would be for a good cause. “Maybe we should. I can add some siphons.”

Cassian’s face lit up. “Perfect.”

“But this can’t be the gift from Elain,” she added quickly. 

“Why not?”

Feyre stared at him. “Does it look like something Elain would buy him? Elain, the person who gives people the most thoughtful gifts?”

He shrugged, “This is a very thoughtful gift. It was made with love and the money goes to a great cause.”

“Are you just tired of shopping?” she asked, already knowing the answer. She was also tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and let Rhys do all the things he had shown her earlier. 

“Very,” Cassian sighed. “Seriously, it’s not like we’ll find anything better. We have visited every single shop in Velaris and this is the best thing we could find,” he gestured to the black thing. “He is impossible to shop for.”

And wasn’t that the truth. Azriel had always been the one Feyre struggled to find presents for. He was very private, and very particular about the things he bought himself. She didn’t even dare to buy him socks since he probably had a special kind he preferred. She knew that this was their last hope, so with a sigh, she relented. 

“Fine, let’s get it. At least one child will be happy to find that someone bought their art.”

Cassian threw his arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry. If there’s anything left at Solstice, I’ll buy it all.”

“Really? Even the twelve legged horse-spider?”

“Especially the horse-spider. It’s growing on me.”

–-------

Solstice evening

Cassian was seated on one of the green velvet sofas, Nestas legs draped over his lap, her head leaning against his shoulder. He had always loved spending Solstice with his family, but spending it with his mate was even better than he could have ever imagined. Last year, Nesta hadn’t been ready to accept the truth yet and the days prior to Solstice had been full of jealousy and anxiety for him. But then, on that fateful night, things had finally changed between them. It had been a Solstice miracle, if he ever saw one. 

And now here they were, with friends and family, just like it should be. Azriel and Mor had arrived around midday, which meant that Azriel didn’t have time to fix their decorations before the rest of the guests arrived. If it hadn’t been for the annoyance so clearly painted on Azriel’s face, he might have actually regretted how ugly they made the house this year since they now had to look at it all evening. 

But their decorations luckily seemed forgotten when Elain and the twins presented them with this year's feast. During this past year, Elain had definitely taken her cooking skills to a new level. Cassian couldn’t even remember the last time he had ever been this full.

Because of his and Feyre’s little excursion earlier that week, Cassian couldn’t help but to pay extra close attention to Elain and Azriel. Every time Elain was near, Azriel’s shadows seemed to lessen around him, yet they never once talked to each other. Elain didn’t even look at Azriel when he complimented the food. He had no idea what he was witnessing, but he was starting to realize that something might have actually happened between the two. He just wished he knew what. 

During dinner, he caught Feyre’s eye and he could see his own confusion mirrored there. If he had been a better man, he probably would have removed the two gifts he had placed in the gift pile in the living room earlier that day. But he was not a better man, and he was frankly annoyed at Azriel for not telling him anything about his life. If something had happened with Elain, Azriel should have told him. Sure, Az was private and didn’t like to talk about his life, but this was family. Whatever bothered him, he should know that Cassian was there for him. So Cassian decided to go forward with his and Feyre’s plan. His decision was even more solidified when he snuck off to the living room to read the notes on the presents there. 

No gift from Azriel to Elain.

No gift from Elain to Azriel. 

After dinner, they had all gathered in the living room. Cassian, Nesta and Mor in one couch and Elain, Feyre, Rhysand and Nyx in the one opposite. Varian and Amren occupied the two armchairs. 

Azriel had decided to stand by the fire, a good distance away from the rest of them. 

Since Mor had taken the place closest to the gifts, she was the one who picked them up one by one and handed them out. So far, Cassan had received yet another awful shirt from Mor and a book from Rhysand. Elain had given Nesta the latest Sellyn Drake book and Cassian could see how much she itched to get home so she could start reading it. 

“This one's for Elain,” Mor called out and handed the gift to Elain. “From Azriel,” she added and Cassian felt his own body go tense. Azriel, though, didn’t seem fazed in the slightest, his face neutral. Though his eyes followed Elain’s every move, just as they had done most of the evening. There was something charged between them that Cassian couldn’t decipher, but for just a moment, he regretted this drunken idea. Would this make things even more awkward between them? 

Elain said nothing when she took the gift from Mor. She didn’t even look at Azriel, or any of them. Her eyes were glued to the gift, her eyebrows furrowed. Cassian dared a glance at Feyre and she was looking right at him. 

For just a moment, she invited him into her mind. Maybe this was a bad idea? 

Well, there’s no turning back now. 

And there wasn’t, because Elain had started to unwrap the gift. Cassian’s eyes drifted to Rhys, who was staring at Azriel with an expression he hadn’t seen on his High Lord’s face before. Whatever he was trying to convey with his eyes, it wasn’t anything positive. What the hell? 

Elain let the paper fall to the floor and they all watched her turn the small book over in her hands. “A notebook,” she murmured, her eyes still not meeting Azriel’s, but Azriel was watching her, his hazel eyes soft and careful, shadows retreating. In 500 years, Cassian had only seen him look at one other person like that and for the first time since they decorated the house, Cassian wondered if they might actually have made a mistake in buying these gifts. This was supposed to be funny; a joke, but right now, that was the last word he would use to describe this situation. 

He was watching Elain intently, silently praying that she wouldn’t be upset. Her fingers traced one of the roses on the cover and Cassian wished that he could read her mind. 

When Azriel spoke, Cassian prepared for the worst.  

“For your poetry,” he said and for the first time all evening, Elain turned to face him. 

Cassian had no idea what Azriel was talking about. That male could really pull a lie out of his ass. Elain liked flowers and baking – since when did she enjoy poetry? 

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. It felt as if the entire room was holding their breath together. Finally, after what felt like a small eternity, Elain lifted her gaze and looked at Azriel. “Thank you.” She lowered her gaze just as quickly, but Cassian didn’t miss the small smile on her lips. 

“You’re welcome, Elain.”

She didn’t put the book in the pile with her other gifts, Cassian noticed. No, she kept it in her lap, as if hesitant to be away from it. Then, for just a second, her eyes met Cassian’s, and the knowing look he found there had him wondering if she had seen this. If she, somehow, knew exactly who had bought her that gift. 

Shit. How could he have forgotten that she was a freaking seer? 

He dared another look at Feyre, and from the way she was looking at him, he could tell that she was thinking the same thing. 

“And this one is for Amren,” Mor said cheerfully and held up the gift Cassian had wrapped this morning, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. But Cassian knew her better than that. She wanted to bring the attention back to herself. Wanted people to stop staring at Az and Elain. He didn’t blame her. 

Amren took the gift, unwrapping it unceremoniously and Cassian had to bite back a laugh at the expression on her face when she held up the horse-spider painting in front of her. 

“What is it?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she beheld the colorful painting. 

“A horse-spider. I think.”

She glared at him. “There is no such thing as a horse-spider, Cassian.”

“I am aware.” He had to force himself not to look at Feyre because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold back his laughter if he did.  “I bought it at Feyre’s gallery.”

Amren held up the painting in front of her again, a disgusted look on her face. “I hate it.”

“Hey, a child made that,” Feyre interjected. 

“I can tell. There is absolutely no real craftsmanship behind this painting.”

Mor continued handing out gifts until there was only one left and Cassian held his breath when she read the note Feyre had attached to it. “For Azriel, from Elain,” Mor read, her voice softer now, as if she knew that this meant something, even though she didn’t know what. 

Elain was staring at Mor, her mouth slightly agape as Azriel took the gift from Mor’s hands. But she stayed quiet. Said nothing about the fact that she hadn’t bought him anything. 

She was still holding the notebook in her lap and Cassian’s heart softened just a bit at that. Maybe their plan hadn’t been so awful after all? 

The tearing of paper was the only sound in the room apart from the soft snores coming from the small child in Rhysand’s arms. Azriel, who had barely shown a single emotion during this entire ordeal, looked surprised at the small figurine he was now holding in his hand. He turned it over a few times, as if that would make him understand what he was holding. 

Finally, he looked at Elain and asked, “What is it?” His voice was gentle, as if to not startle her. Elain opened her mouth but promptly closed it again, clearly having no clue what Azriel was holding. 

Luckily, Feyre was there to save her sister. Thank the gods. “It’s an illyrian warrior,” she explained matter of factly. “She got it at the studio. One of the children made it. She was very proud of her creation.”

“Was she now?” Azriel asked, his mouth turning into a smirk. “And it just happened to have blue siphons?” 

Again, Feyre smiled sweetly and spoke for Elain. “No, I added those.”

Azriel hummed and turned the black thing over in his hands once more. Cassian could see the shadowsinger’s mind working, trying to make sense of this entire situation. If Azriel ever found out what they had done, he was certain that there would be hell to pay. 

“And what about this pink thing in his hands?” Azriel pointed to the same spot Cassian has asked about days prior. “Or, well, I assume they’re his hands.”

Cassian expected Feyre to explain this too, but someone else spoke before she even had the chance to open her mouth. 

He had been so focused on Azriel, he hadn’t noticed that Elain had now fully turned towards Azriel, her gaze meeting his. “A rose.” It was barely more than a whisper. “He’s holding a rose.”

And with that, Azriel’s features softened, his shoulder’s relaxing just slightly. 

“Thank you. It’s a lovely gift.”

A blush spread across Elain’s cheeks and Cassian had no idea what just happened, he was just glad that they seemed to have gotten away with their drunken plan without anyone getting hurt.

“You’re welcome,” Elain said with a gentle smile directed at the shadowsinger. 

–-

A while later, when Amren and Varian had left and Rhys had disappeared to the nursery to put Nyx in his cot, Cassian found Feyre in the kitchen. Elain was still in the living room talking to the Mor and Nesta. And Azriel. 

As soon as Feyre saw him she whispered, “I can’t believe we did that,” her eyes wide and full of humor. “I really thought that Az would call us out on our bullshit.”

“I know…” Cassian murmured, careful to keep his voice low. “When Elain opened that notebook, she looked so sad. I almost told her that it was a stupid joke right then and there.”

Feyre nodded. “Yeah, me too.” She looked past him into the living room. “At least we didn’t make things worse.”

Cassian shrugged and smiled at her. “If I do say so myself, we might have actually made things better between them. I mean look at them,” he gestured to the living room. “They are smiling. In each other’s presence.” 

“That, they are.”

“Maybe I should quit my job and become a matchmaker.” 

Feyre laughed and patted his arm. “Well, you’re definitely better at matchmaking than decorating.�� 

“Right back at you.”

[makingspiritualityreal]

Ketu = Ruled by Virgo?

There are many ideas on which sign or house do the Nodes exalt in. Most agree on placing Rahu favorably in Taurus, Gemini or Virgo, while placing Ketu in Scorpio, Sagittarius or Pisces. The argument here is that these signs coincide with a given Node's spiritual or materialistic nature.

Note that I didn't say that Ketu is doing WELL in Virgo. I said it is ruled by it...which if given to a person in their Natal Chart, with Rahu in Pisces and Ketu in Virgo, brings the most intense, the best, but also the worst of both signs.

Technically I believe the Nodes should have the freedom to be in any sign, but the Virgo-Pisces axis just has that something extra, that has that Nodal flavor to me, after years of observation. It would also support the "Rahu exalted in Virgo" theory.

To understand my point we need to ask ourselves first, what do the Nodes mean? They're shadow points, meaning they're unformed, but they're also boundless. Rahu is boundless in its expansion, Ketu is boundless in its refinement. However, they are the Nodes of the Moon, so they're both compulsive and exaggerated, prone towards swinging the pendulum.

Ketu demands perfection and is critical and closed off, fearfully refusing to leave its comfort zone. It sits on its position, endlessly churning material into more perfected form, compulsively. That's why it's not looking forward to external input, as it doesn't like to be distracted from its goal.

Rahu demands to fly higher and higher and reach further with every step. It is never satisfied, always craving novelty, aiming for infinite freedom. That's why it doesn't stop to analyse one's actions, it is too busy reaching out into a new, delightful fantasy.

What do we get when we paint a portrait of someone who has their Ketu in Virgo and Rahu in Pisces? A complete idealist. Their perfectionism has no reason to budge, as it's happy constantly fueled by the meticulous Virgo sign, compatible with its obsession with purity, remaining almost in a state of frigid monkhood. Rahu in Pisces is completely happy dreaming their life away, indulging in more and more fantastical experiences, seeking no grounding for their vision, because the feeling of "high" is so much more interesting than putting in the work to immortalize the vibration one senses. Unless the Nodes are in a more grounded house, here in this Sign Axis, they are capable of running the show, making the person experience the most intense expression of the Node's extremes. Thus, depending on a transit or planetary influence, a person can be extremely unbalanced, moving between nihilism and perfectionism and a fanatical nature and blind optimism.

That is why for a productive human life the Nodes are better in the opposite scenario. Rahu's dreams get a practical plan in Virgo, Ketu's nihilism is lifted by Piscean boundless vision. We get a person with a desire to find a solution for every problem. Life goes smoother.

But if you just came to this Earth to experience the extremum of human madness...look no further. An overblown Rahu in Pisces and an extremely conservative Ketu in Virgo may be just for you.

[seb-reads31]

Request: None technically?? But this is a sort of part 2 of the Diavolo x tsundere!reader head canons though

Part 1

Tw's - None

Type - Fic

Genre - Fluff

Comments - I'm excited for this lol, my 2nd fic 💪 Dia may be slightly off character? I apologize beforehand if he is ;-;

Tsundere Cuddles

You and Diavolo had been dating for nearly a year now, about 7 months after the start of the exchange program, and he was slowly but surely getting you more used to physical affection.

It was.. rough to begin with, but over time you got a bit more warmed up to things. Dia would push you out of your comfort zone little by little, until you started seeking out affection from him on your own, which melted his heart.

And today, Diavolo was ready to try something completely new for the both of you.

Cuddling.

Neither of you had done it with a romantic partner before, and he felt as if you were ready for it, so, with slightly shaking hands, he picked up his D.D.D., and messaged you, asking if you could come over to the castle today.

You were slightly surprised he had messaged you so suddenly, but you were happy nonetheless. And so, you quickly started picking out the perfect outfit to wear, but in the middle of you grabbing your clothes, you heard your D.D.D. go off again. It was, Diavolo.? He sent a other message saying to get dress comfortably, like pajamas??

Was he not so secretly inviting you over for a sleepover again? ..possibly, he's done it before. You shrugged slightly then walked over to your dresser, grabbing a slightly oversized t-shirt and some sweatpants, tossing a hoodie on top then head to the front door.

Luckily, none of the brothers were out and about to question where you were going, so you were able to "sneak" out easily.

When you arrived, you had just barely reached your hand up to knock when the doors suddenly opened, revealing Barbatos, Diavolo's personal butler.

"The young master has been expecting you, please, come in." He spoke in his normal calm but slightly sweet tone of voice, moving to the side to led you in.

"Oh, uh, thank you Barbatos.." You replied with a surprised look, but quickly shook it off, walking inside the castle that had yet to take your breath away at the decor of it alone.

Barbatos just nodded, then led you to where Diavolo was, and more than likely where he was planning a ton of fun activities for the both of you to enjoy.

After a small walk, Barbatos had taken you to Diavolo's room, knocking on the door. "M'lord, MC has arrived." There was rustling on the other side of the door, then a slightly shakey voice responded. "Come in," was all that needed to be said before Barbatos opened the door, and stepping to the side and let you walk in, and see Diavolo in... a dragon onesie..?

"Ah! MC, you're here! I'm so glad you could make it, come come! Sit with me," he patted the spot next to him on his bed very excitedly. You agreed with a small blush spreading across your cheeks, matched with a pout forming on your lips as you sat down on the spot Diavolo was patting.

"So.." You started, fidgeting with your fingers nervously as you avoided looking your boyfriend in the eyes. He caught on to your slightly flustered state, starting to answer your question. "Ah! Yes, right, well, you know how I've been helping you get used to affection and such, right?" You nodded, slowly looking up at Diavolo with a curious look, telling him silently to continue.

"Well.." Diavolo began, but hesitated with a small blush adorning his cheeks as well. He took a deep breath then gave you a confident look, despite his rosey cheeks, "I invited you over to my castle today to ask you if you would like to try something new!"

You tilted your head to the side curiously, wondering what this 'something new' could be. "I read online that couples often partake in cuddling when they feel comfortable enough with each other. And I was wondering if you wanted to give it a try!" He looked at you with such child-like excitement, he was so precious, you found it hard saying no to him. Not only that, but because you knew he would stop immediately if you felt uncomfortable.

That didn't stop your face from turning into a deep shade of crimson at the thought of being so close with him however. You had gotten used to the random questions regarding affection from him enough that you were able to think about this thoroughly. And after a few moments of thinking, you gave him a small nod, silently telling him that you wanted to give it a try too.

"Yay!" He exclaimed with stars in his eyes, quickly pulling out his D.D.D., and going to his gallery to show you a few pictures. "I went ahead and looked for different cuddling positions that you might like, pick whichever one you would like to start with MC." He handed you his D.D.D. so you could look at the different photos. There were only three, which you silently thanked Dia for. You didn't want to be overwhelmed with a bunch of different cuddling positions, so you greatly appreciated this.

The first one was a half spoon position, where your head would be resting on his chest, and his arm would be wrapped around you slightly. (Like this)

The second one was called the embrace, where your face would be nuzzled against Diavolo's chest as his arms wrapped around you, hence the name.

And finally, it was just you laying on top of him, head resting against his chest. (This was the best one I could find-)

(Because all of them end up with you laying your head on his chest, pick your favorite <33)

You picked the one you wanted to try first, and showed Diavolo, handing him his D.D.D. back at the same time. He gave you a quick nod, laying down and waiting for you to cuddle up to him at your own pace.

You slowly but surely got into your position, but laid there somewhat stiffly, unsure of where to put your arms, where to put your legs, where to put your head, anything.

"MC, is it alright if I guide you a bit? You look a bit stiff there." Diavolo gave you a curious, yet caring look, waiting for you to give him permission before doing anything. Because you were so unsure of what to do, you gave him a small nod, trying to ease the tension in your arms slightly as Diavolo gently grabbed them, guiding them to where they need to be for the cuddling position you picked out.

"Is it alright if I wrap my arms around you now?" His voice was soft and gentle, almost like a fluffy cloud in the sky. You gave him another small nod, trying to relax a little as his arm(s) slowly embraced you, one of his hands started to rub up and down your back in a soothing motion.

He was so warm.. and surprisingly soft. With the combination of Dia rubbing your back and his warmth soaking through his onesie, you started to relax against him, your eyes starting to flutter shut as you finally let yourself fall asleep against Diavolo.

He had noticed you falling asleep, but didn't say anything so he wouldn't ruin the sweet moment you two were sharing, instead, letting his own eyes flutter shut, joining you in a wonderful land full of dreams.

About an hour later Barbatos had come to "check" on you two as you napped. That's what he claimed at least. In reality, he knew this was going to happen, so he decided to take a photo of the two of you resting peacefully for teasing purposes later.

Notes - AAAAAAA, this took like, a week or something. I loved writing this, but it took me a solid like, 10 minutes looking for photos of cuddling positions on Google. ;-; it was worth it however in the end ᕦ⁠(⁠ò⁠_⁠ó⁠ˇ⁠)⁠ᕤ

[kiteofdreams]

Alright, first off: this is the first thing I’ve written and posted in like 10 years. (Tbh, it’ll probably take that long again thanks to real life.) I even made this sideblog to post it bc I have severe anxiety about posting it for some reason - I’m not sure why, so we’re stepping outta my comfort zone here. If you can guess where this title came from, you get a high-five for the obscure reference. I hope you enjoy this Christmas Josh fic.

1.7k words. I tried my hand at fluff and there’s no real warnings, but talk of alcohol & being drunk is mentioned.

Christmas had always been your favorite time of year — the Christmas traditions with your family, the small get-togethers with your close friends, and the general happiness of all those around you.

You had started decorating late, but your life had been so crazy, you hadn't had time. So here you were on Christmas Eve, placing the finishing touches onto your Christmas tree. It was your first Christmas not being home with your family. Your plans were to sit by your fireplace, drink some hot chocolate, and watch a movie.

As you queued up your favorite Christmas movie, you reminisced on how you had gotten here. This past year hadn’t been easy; you found yourself in a new city, a new state, and a new job. Although you had moved away from home years prior, it never got any easier packing up your life and changing it completely. As you settled into a routine in your new life, things became easier. You fell in love with the city life. You met new people, socialized with your co-workers, and even went on a few dates. Of course, nothing ever came of the dates. Life had been too hectic for a relationship, too busy with work. And then there was Josh.

Josh was the shining light in your life. A great big ball of sunshine on the darkest days. It all started on a Friday night at a local bar while out with coworkers celebrating the completion of a two-month-long project.

While ordering drinks at the bar, a long-haired (and quite drunk) man turned around and spilled his drink all over you. He hadn’t even realized what happened as he headed over to the table of his friends. You brushed it off at first because it hadn't been the first time you had a drink spilled on you and it probably wouldn't be the last. The more you thought about what had happened, the more irritated you got. By the time you worked up the nerve to confront him, the man was gone. The following week, you saw him again at the same bar, but with a much shorter haircut. This time, you were prepared to tell him how rude he had been that night. As he approached the bar, you cleared your throat and spoke.

“Excuse me, you should probably pay more attention, you spilled your drink all over me last week and then walked away."

The man looked confused.

"Uh," he started, "I wasn't here last week."

Dumbfounded, you stared at him with blinking eyes.

"Yes, you were. Were you that drunk you don't even know where you were? I like the haircut though," you added with a smirk.

"Oh no," he laughed. You were a bit annoyed that he wasn't taking this seriously.

He pointed towards the table he came from, "that was my brother, Jake. We're twins. I'm Josh, sorry about him."

You looked over to see a table full of people, including the man who ran into you.

"Oh my god, I'm an idiot and apparently was drunker than I thought," you said while hiding your face in your hands. "This is so fucking embarrassing."

"How about this," Josh trailed off while laughing, "I buy you a drink and we can go yell at my brother."

The two of you hit it off instantly, becoming fast friends. Although you two were complete opposites, you fit together like a puzzle. Josh was an early bird, while you were a night owl. You wanted everything to be bright colors, while Josh preferred neutrals. He was a rockstar, you had a corporate 9-5 job. Somehow, you both flowed together like you had been friends for your whole life. And of course, your feelings turned into something more. How could they not? He was your balance, the shoulder to lean on, the voice of reason in your life. But, you'd never acted on your feelings, too afraid to lose him.

A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts and back to the present. You jumped as you weren't expecting anyone, especially so late at night on Christmas Eve. Josh and his brothers went back home, your best friend was heading out of the country, and even the neighbor you were close to was heading out of the city. As you looked through the peephole, a wild head of curly hair appeared, followed by a toothy grin. You threw open the door with a surprised gasp.

“Josh! What are you doing? You’re not supposed to be here!”

He laughed as he walked past you with his hands full of bags.

“I couldn’t let you be alone on Christmas.”

Your heart melted right then. Josh headed off to your kitchen to drop off the bags before heading to your guest bedroom.

"I'm staying the night, by the way," he shouted from the bedroom. You let out a deep sigh before you rolled your eyes and followed his voice into the bedroom. "That way we can be together for Christmas morning."

Not that you minded Josh staying with you. He had stayed over more times than you could count — from him being too drunk to just not wanting to drive back home. Hell, he had a key to your house for emergencies. But something about it being Christmas Eve felt so domestic like you didn't have to pretend you didn't love him.

"What if I had plans? What if I had a gentleman caller visiting me later?"

You sat down on the edge of the bed and played with the edge of the comforter. Josh poked his head out of the attached bathroom with an eyebrow raised.

"First, do you?"

"Well, no. But I could've, you don--"

"Second, don't say gentleman caller, that's super fucking weird," Josh interrupted. "I know you're upset about not being home for Christmas. You shouldn't be alone."

"You should be with your family, Josh," you replied. "I was going to FaceTime with my family tomorrow, we had it all planned out. I'm okay with it."

Josh placed his hands on either side of your face and looked into your eyes. You took a deep breath and felt your heart start racing.

"It doesn't matter, I'm here with you now, so you're stuck spending Christmas with me."

He placed a kiss on your forehead before turning away towards the living room. You followed after him in a daze. It wasn't as if he hadn't kissed your forehead or cheek before, but it was always when he was past the point of tipsy. You pressed your hand to the spot where his lips were as if you could still feel them there. As you reached the kitchen, you saw Josh pulling various takeout containers from the bags.

"I ordered from Angelinos. I was surprised they were still open. I got your extra breadsticks and alfredo sauce, why are you staring at me like that?"

You shook your head as you whispered "sorry".

"What's going on in that head of yours? You've seemed out of it all night," Josh pushed the hair falling in front of your face behind your ear.

"I don't know," you sighed, willing yourself not to cry. "I guess I'm just missing my family more than I thought."

"Hey, come on. We're gonna have a great Christmas, just us two. You wanna get the drinks while I make you a plate?"

You nodded as you headed towards your fridge to grab a few beers and ciders. Taking the drinks into the living room, you placed them on the table before heading back to help Josh with the food. He shooed you out of the kitchen and followed you into your living room with your plates in hand. He sat the plates down and turned to head back to the bedroom.

"Where are you going now? I want to eat," you shouted to him.

"You can start eating," he yelled back. "I gotta grab something. Oh, get the movie going. I'll be right out."

You grabbed the remote to start the movie and sat down on the couch as you reached for your plate to eat. After a few bites, you opened a cider and took a drink as Josh sat down next to you. Two hours later, you had finished all the food and the movie was over. You stood up to clear the plates, but Josh stopped you.

"You relax, alright? I've got this," he said as he stood to gather the plates and headed towards the kitchen.

"Do you want a hot chocolate while I'm in here?" Josh said from the kitchen. "I can add the peppermint schnapps if you want!"

"Sure, can you make it with milk instead of water?"

"Of course, you want to pick another movie?"

"No," you replied. "I'll let you pick the next one. I probably won't make it through this one."

You sat in silence and scrolled through your phone as you waited for Josh to return. You heard his footsteps behind you and then felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked behind you as Josh placed a small box in your lap. He moved around to sit next to you.

"Open it," Josh said with a bright smile. You noticed he was wringing his hands together, a nervous habit of his. "It's an early present. I got you something else, but wanted you to open this tonight."

You untied the ribbon and slowly opened the box, "Josh, what is this? Is this mistletoe?"

Josh reached into the box to grab the plant and held it above his head.

"We're under the mistletoe. You know what that means, right?"

You stood there in shock with your mouth agape. There was no way he was saying what you thought he might be.

You stared at him and Josh laughed nervously as he continued, "please tell me I haven't been reading this wrong. If I have, I'll leave and we can forget about this whole thing. I don't think I am though. Can I kiss you?"

"Holy shit," you whispered. "Yes, please."

Josh reached around, placed a hand on the back of your neck, and pulled you close to him. Your eyes closed as he brought his lips to yours.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he whispered before kissing you.

At that moment, it felt like time had stopped. Everything aligned to where it needed to be. It was like an electric shock.

Josh pulled back, but your eyes were still closed. As you opened them, Josh sat across from you grinning. You couldn't help but smile back.

"Kiss me again, Kiszka."

As Josh leaned in again, you thought, 'maybe this Christmas wouldn't be so bad.'

[gaviicreates]

Journeys in Amigurumi (Bingo Roll 1)

Spoiler: This was a challenge!

For my first roll of the bingo card, I got "make an amigurumi" - and as someone who is most comfortable with flat 2D projects with little sewing, I knew this one would really be taking me out of my comfort zone. I'm not happy when I have to sew, and I am incredibly not happy when I have to attempt embroidery.

I may not do a full blog post for each bingo roll, but as this is so completely new to me and a large part of this bingo is the journey, here we go!

For full disclosure, I've made ONE amigurumi project before this, and I haven't picked up the technique once since. So before we dive in - have a quick picture of where I started 12 years ago.

I had to dig some really old photo archives for this one.

This lil' guy was made to be a warbler for my fandom at the time. I am sure he was based off a pattern, but it's unlikely I'll be able to find it now. I also don't think I know where this lil birb is anymore; he's gotten lost in the shuffle of moving a few times since.

Step 1: Research

Research - Before even choosing a pattern to begin this challenge, I wanted to first understand more about amigurumi, so I took to Youtube, which is my usual place to learn all things.

For my intro to amigurumi, I started with a few channels:

LePetitSaint Crochet, especially this Amigurumi fundamentals playlist; olliehollycrochet, especially this beginner tutorial video; For inspiration, I've also found Skein Spider

There are quite a few amigurumi channels out there - these are just a few that I enjoyed across my youtube dashboard.

The next step of research was finding a pattern, and I feel as though this is the part of the rabbit hole I am going to ADORE continuing to explore.

Step 2: Practice

Before I started "the" project, I wanted to first get a sense of the tension and play around with a project. Just something small. In effort to avoid buying more materials, I took to stash busting some of my scrap cotton. For the test piece, I found the pattern Octobuddy by the blog, Sweet Softies.

As someone with already pretty tight tension, working with a smaller hook took some getting used to, but I liked the way this pattern was written - he's an adorable little Octopus, but it also helped me get used to the shaping and stuffing process. I used household cotton balls since poly-fil isn't the type of thing I just have on hand. I did end up buying some for the final project.

This was a good exercise for me, as I started to feel comfortable with the actual crochet and using a tighter gauge. As I was sewing the eyes, I ended up pulling the cotton up or not being able to push the needle through. He was a bit overstuffed, or maybe I tried to assemble out of order, or maybe it's just my lack of sewing experience striking again.

Beyond that, the hardest part was in fact the the embroidery of the eyes, and his are quite... something. I was not originally going for the wink, but as the two sides became less uniform, I decided to lean into it. They still turned out pretty shoddy, and I can NOT stand doing this. I told myself never again, but for another spoiler... I did it again.

My Octobuddy might still be a bit overstuffed, but he's super squishy and relaxing to squeeze, just like a stress ball, the perfect size for my palm. So he's been hanging with me at my work desk.

Step 3: Do the thing

I won't say I was ready for the next thing, per se, but I also wasn't getting anywhere just looking at the cool things that could be made with this technique. So why not jump right in?

For my actual pattern selection, I chose "Hubble" by Projectarian, available on ravelry. I love me an aquatic creature, and it called to me that not only was this pattern free, it also came with a beginner friendly pdf, quick reference, and an entire selection of written tips for the new-to-amigurumi crafter.

Squid time!

Again, I wanted to use up scraps, so my first challenge with this pattern was adjusting it for the yarn weight I had on hand to use. As a result, the eyes were made with a way too tight tension. The pattern called for some crochet for the sleeping pupil lines, but there was no way I was going to get my hook in there. For the second time, I took up a sewing needle and attempted embroidery. This time turned out a bit better than the Octopus. I adore how soft he looks with the brown cotton yarn I decided to use when I couldn't find black.

At some point in attaching the legs and tentacles, I did lose track of where I was - but that was on me since I got lazy with the stitch markers. It was so close to the end, I was able to wing it to decrease the final row and stitch up the center. Before then, I added a bit more poly-fil.

I chose not to add pom-poms at the end of the legs for the same reason as I didn't add tassels to the blanket I made. Being a mom of three dogs makes you super aware of the types of things the furbabies will get into. You should've seen their faces when I brought home the poly-fil.

But I'm ranting away and you haven't even seen him yet!!

Step 4: Finished Object!

Body: Hobbii Rainbow Cotton 8/4 - Rosewood, 3.5mm Eyes: Hobbii Rainbow Glitter Gold 8/4 - Natural White, Hobbii Rainbow Cotton 8/4 - Light Brown, 2.00mm Legs and Tentacles: Hobbii Rainbow Cotton 8/4 - Rosewood, 3.25mm Pattern: Hubble the Squid by Projectarian I call him Hubblet since I made him so small. Sleeeepy squid baby.

Make an Amigurumi✔️

[chumby4life]

Some cute and funny screengrabs from Maison Ikkoku that i liked

GAAHH this was such a good show, so just heartwarming idk. I watched it over a period of a few months, one ep a day during my work breaks. It's the perfect show for that, a lighthearted sitcom with some really heartfelt moments. Just a nice and relaxing reprieve from stressful work. And it's a wonderful example of the found family trope (i'm always weak for that stuff) and I feel like the show presents grief in a really nice way even when it can be silly at times.

I love how the two main characters, Godai and Kyoko, are around my age (although they do get older thru the series) because I feel like it's hard to find anime that focuses on twenty-somethings. Godai's struggles as a college student and later finding a good job were pretty relatable for me tbh.

As for Kyoko, her whole character conflict was, so...poignant? Spoilers, but she is introduced as someone who was widowed at 22, a pretty young age for that. You get the sense from her that her life has ended before it really began - she married just a few years earlier, she had a taste of feeling fulfilled and complete, only for it to be taken from her. Now the manager of the boarding house belonging to her late husband's family, it really seems like she's living in the shadow of the past, and is reluctant to move on. Hell, she named her dog after her husband, maybe just so she has an excuse to keep saying his name. She just seems so trapped within herself for a good portion of the series.

Not to mention that her husband was actually her high school geology teacher...haha. Which I really feel conveys her tendency to refrain from stepping out of her comfort zone. I mean, she had it all set up nicely - she gets to spend her days with someone who was already a constant in her life, someone who taught her and guided her through unfamiliar territory. Maybe this extended into a desire to be guided through life, to ease the burden of making one's own choices. Don't get me wrong, Kyoko is more than capable of handling things on her own, but doesn't everyone kind of want to be led and taken care of through life's difficulties, at least a little bit? And with her spouse gone, she feels lost and scared, as anyone might.

With all this in mind, it's funny that we see Kyoko frequently frustrated with Godai's lack of maturity at first, as he was likely a far cry from the mature person that her husband was. And, of course, Kyoko's late husband kind of reminds me of the whole "dead wife" trope you see in action movies, you know? Those scenes where we see the protag's memories of their dead wife, so angelic and perfect and running on a beach or something. Because only in death can someone become perfect, I guess. How is Godai supposed to measure up to that? Obviously, he can't. And he can't expect that of himself, nor can Kyoko.

Eventually, though, Kyoko does get to experience an entirely new kind of love and romance through Godai. Instead of being led through life as she may have once wanted, these two help each other through their struggles equally, and it's really satisfying to witness.

Good show good show, also it has one of my favorite anime op's... The op for one episode has Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Alone Again" as its music. That is so strange and yet kind of fitting for the series lol. Anyways rant over I recommend this one

[theaasiflifestyle]

Title: Embracing Change: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Change is a constant in life, yet it’s something many of us struggle to embrace. We often find ourselves clinging to familiarity, afraid of the unknown that change brings. But what if we viewed change not as a disruption, but as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery?

Over the past year, I’ve undergone numerous changes in my life – some by choice, others thrust upon me unexpectedly. At first, I resisted these changes, holding onto the comfort of what was familiar. But as time passed, I realized that resisting change only led to stagnation. It was only when I embraced change with an open mind and heart that I truly began to grow.

One of the most significant changes in my life was starting a new job in a completely different industry. It was daunting at first, stepping out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. But with each challenge I faced, I gained valuable skills and experiences that shaped me into a more resilient and adaptable individual.

Another major change was moving to a new city. Leaving behind the familiarity of my hometown was difficult, but it also opened doors to new opportunities and adventures. Exploring unfamiliar streets, trying new cuisines, and meeting people from diverse backgrounds broadened my perspective and enriched my life in ways I never imagined.

But change isn’t always about big, dramatic moments. It’s also about the small, everyday choices we make – choosing to let go of past hurts, stepping out of our comfort zones, and embracing new experiences with an open heart.

Through these experiences, I’ve come to realize that change is not something to be feared, but something to be embraced. It’s a catalyst for growth, a chance to reinvent ourselves and discover new passions and talents we never knew we had.

So here’s to embracing change – to stepping boldly into the unknown, to welcoming the unexpected twists and turns that life throws our way, and to embracing the journey of self-discovery with courage and grace.

[cadybear420]

Hey I wanted to ask this after watching Telugu movie Hi Nanna.

How does Evie handle having to grow up only with her father and not having her mother around? The movie just reminded me that Scott is a single father too and might have struggled at some point to give his daughter everything.

My headcanon is that Evie's parents are divorced, and it happened pretty much while Evie was still a newborn.

While at Hartfeld, after he and Julia (Emma's mom) ended up going their separate ways, Scott eventually met this woman named Rani, a driven and tough yet sweet woman who mainly had interest in bodyguard jobs.

The two would soon fall in love, and would be engaged and married after they both completed their master's degrees. Some months later, Rani would become pregnant with her and Scott's first child- AKA Evie. The two seemed almost like a perfect match, except for one thing...

While Rani was about 4 months pregnant with Evie, she came to the realization that she was just not ready to settle down and raise a child. 

Scott– who on the contrary had longed to raise a kid– was heartbroken, but respected her decision. They both decided that the best decision due to their conflict of personal interests was to divorce on amicable terms. Evie’s mom was, however, okay with carrying the child to term for Scott; though he reassured her that it'd be okay if she didn't want to do so.

Scott, knowing that Evie would eventually wonder who that woman in his photographs was and not wanting to lie to Evie, told her the full story when she was about 3. 

Evie never resented her mother for leaving, and Scott did do a pretty good job at raising her while being a single dad. But it still always left her feeling upset and conflicted. She was aware that her mother was a great great person, and so sometimes she feels like she missed out on having that great great person as a figure in her life.

Knowing of this past also would make Evie a little bit fussy with her relationships. Aiden is consistently stepping out of his comfort zone and trying new things during his relationship with Evie, and mainly in the later years of their relationship, she would sometimes get a bit hung up about "not wanting him to do something he doesn't have to/is uncomfortable with". Sometimes it felt to her like the relationship was too good to be true, and she didn't want to end up in the same situation as her parents did. It was a bit upsetting to Aiden, but they'd manage to resolve their feelings together.

Rani would sometimes come to visit them, being more of an auntie figure to Evie. They get along pretty damn well, but it could be a bit awkward since Rani and Scott still had some feelings for each other and neither of them had really had any new partners.

Speaking of which, Emma had failed to matchmake Scott and Julia. Evie was conflicted about matchmaking them; on one hand, she would love a mother figure like Julia and for both her and Scott to be able to properly move on from Rani; but on the other hand, she'd watched the Arthur episode "Matchmaker, Matchbreaker" enough times to know that you can't really force these things. So she just decided to "let the chips fall where they may" on that one, and it ended up with Scott and Julia not falling back in love.

Later on in her life, Evie would eventually come to fully accept the situation with her parents and make peace with it.

[riizebabie444]

Hello my name is Dalia

My exchange general reading for your 2024 year:

First of all when I was reading you I felt like you have lots of uncertainty or feeling rather lonely or people don’t understand how u feel deeply like I can see you being present w people but still feeling sometimes not completely their or dissociate I think you also may sometime look for other ways to forget these feelings but it just end up making u feel overwhelmed I just feel your drained right now and not rlly sure on what the future holds, I honestly see a new beginning happening but in order for this ti happen you need to heal and let go from people that don’t serve u right I think whatever 2023 gave u will benefit u in learning a lesson and growing in 2024 u will learn to focus on ur self and put more work on u and to leave the bad negative people or things behind. This year might be not the most bright but it will be healing u will slow your self to be the queen of wands you are the confident outspoken go getter u will be build back it will be a mental battle but u will really work hard to heal and and learn how to live your self and cherish yourself . In conclusion I see this year is for you to learn to prioritize your self more and have faith and hope more , it will be quite challenging with ups and down but you will grow by the end of the year and be stronger than ever.

Message from me I keep getting signs of negative people around you so I really think you should look at people in your life rn and reevaluate them because their are negative people around you that prevent you from thriving completely you really need a healing year to grow stronger and to love your self more it’s going to be challenging tho I am ngl

P.s I am trying my best I am not sure if my readings are accurate but this is what I picked up through your reading. Also I know I have sm typos just got done w a essay and I am so lazy to re check my grammar.

My tropical chart placements:

Virgo sun 4 degree ( 12th house )

Virgo rising 5 degree

Capricorn moon 1 degree ( 4th house )

Virgo Mercury24 ( first house)

Leo Venus 1 degree (11th house)

Sag mars24 ( 4th house)

hey lovey! thank you for your patience, here is your reading for 2024! your astrological theme is jupiter and your tarot card is queen of wands. i believe 2024 will provide a fertile ground for your growth. if you are looking to grow or improve in any way, this year will give you the foundations for it, both internally and externally. it's also a great year for you to attract abundance and also healing, so it is definitely worth putting in the effort. you may even feel lucky, like not even trying that hard but you are getting amazing results. i also heard the message to work with your jupiter placement, embody the energies of the sign and focus on the themes of the house it resides in, and it could help you receive even more. your approach to situations will be more confident than before. you will be more outgoing and i see you pushing yourself out of your comfort zone with social situations. and you will also feel very confident in approaching work matters and love. and i think it will be a result of you putting in the effort for yourself, finding the many ways to improve your life, health, finances etc and overall you will keep stepping into a better place as the year goes on. you're focusing on what will help you move towards the future and becoming the person you have wanted to be for so long. you also will not turn down challenges this year and instead have faith in yourself to not give up. i think you will also be more in touch with your true self, not exactly a journey of spiritual growth but something similar. just aligning yourself to your true nature and meeting your needs instead of what everyone else says you need. and again with the confidence, having faith in your choices and decisions because you know they will lead to the best outcome even if it isn't what you expect. and that in itself can be a massive change in terms of growth, depending on they type of person you were prior to 2024.

happy new year and thank you for taking part! and thank you so much for the exchange it definitely feels accurate, that this will be a year of healing and growth (i also just realised we both had the queen of wands! i'm not even kidding that's crazy) and i really appreciate the messages about negative people. i need to hear it bc it's something i avoid and it's not easy when these people are the ones closest to you, however it definitely gives me motivation to reassess my relationships with family and friends in order to create a better environment for myself. thank you so much!

[roads-rise-to-meet-me]

CP277NYEx: Scenes From A Watson Diner

Decided to step out of my comfort zone and signed up for the Cyberpunk 2077 New Year’s Exchange, and was very excited to see @just-a-cybercroissant’s name in my assignment! Writing for Johnny is a whole new ballgame for me, but I gave it my all and I hope I did him and Valerie justice for you! I hope you like it, and have a Happy New Year!  ♥ @cp77nyexchange

Nearly every corner you turned in Night City, there was another stark reminder that living here was, among other applicable descriptors, disgusting.

And it was probably the reason Valerie’s apartment was kept near immaculate. If you were lucky enough to land a spot that wasn’t overrun with roaches, condemned three times prior, previously used as a drug lab, or a concoction all three, you held onto that place and treated it better than you treated yourself. Because everywhere else you went carried the inherent risk of stepping in some other gonk’s bodily fluids. Blood or…Something else. Not to mention the trash, or the smells. NC’s iconic street corner garbage piles were like hydras. Pick up one bag and move it to the nearest dumpster out of the kindness of your heart, then two more were sure to replace it by the time you turned around. And the air was always laden with a miasma of exhaust fumes and cigarette smoke.

To outsiders, it was shocking…If Takemura’s constant, full-hearted bitching was anything to go by. But to V, it just blended in with the rest of the scenery. 

She was standing on the sidewalk underneath an overhang after the rain had started to fall. The kind of rain that made the smoggy air turn soupy, and the sky a sickly shade of red. Blood rain was hardly anything new; it and all the other interesting weather phenomena of NC were here long before she had come along. And if V stayed on her current trajectory, it was going to be here long after she was gone. It was a far cry from ideal, but it was also just a side effect of the place she called home. So she saw no reason to waste her energy complaining about it. 

However, her other half always seemed to be in search of something to complain about. V didn’t need to turn and look when the rockerboy flickered into existence; she could feel him leaning against the wall behind her as clearly as if it were her own body in place of his. Perhaps it technically was? 

“Told you it was gonna rain. Could feel it…In your bones.”

It was as monotone and condescending a statement as ever, but sometimes monotone and condescending seemed to be just about the only things Johnny had a solid grasp on. He never really managed to completely stick the landing when he was trying to be sympathetic, and choked on his apologies before he could get the last word out. There always had to be a bit of a bite to everything that came out of his mouth. But oftentimes his words were betrayed when V felt emotions begin to well up in her chest that she knew were not her own. And this time, they were accompanied by a playful flair that brought a grin to her face.

“Spoken like a true fossil, Johnny,” V teased right back, and she could sense his delight at her picking up the other half of the joke. Though she never turned to face him, she could see the toothy smile on his features that perfectly mirrored hers. 

She reached out from under the overhang, allowing a few drops to land on her hand. Sometimes the term blood rain seemed a bit on the dramatic side for what was actually falling from the sky. More often than not it was nothing more than the same old contaminated water with an added rust colored tint. However, that was not the case this evening; and even V found herself recoiling in mild shock at the rich crimson color of the water that had started to pool in her palm.

“Nasty,” the engram grumbled, stealing the word right off the tip of her tongue. 

V shook the water from her hand and did her best to ignore the slight stain it left behind on her skin. Much to her annoyance, the previously light shower appeared hellbent on evolving into a torrential downpour as it slowly began to drown out the sound of passing traffic; already the gutters and potholes were beginning to fill to their brims. And though it all resembled a scene from a horror flick, all she could think about was how her building was just a stone’s throw up the street. Sure, she’d be in desperate need of a shower by the time she walked into her apartment. But if she was quick…

V was about to step off the curb and attempt it until a hand roughly landed on her shoulder, pulling her back underneath the shelter of the buildings. It was still a strange sensation to feel herself begin to buckle under the weight of something that wasn’t actually there. And maybe that’s why Johnny’s grip seemed a bit heavier than what he was intending, as he softened it quickly.

“Oh come on, V. Don’t just walk out in that shit,” the rockerboy scolded. With his chin tilted up and his aviators shielding his eyes, it made it impossible for her to gauge his expression when she turned to face him. 

“Well, I gotta get out of this storm, don’t I? What do you want me to do? Stand here and twiddle my thumbs until it passes?” V inquired, gesturing out to the bloodied street before them.

The same hand that had stopped her from venturing out into the storm came to rest on his belt as he spoke. “Could do that. Could even stand here with your thumb up your ass. Or you could wait it out in the diner you’re standing in front of. Just a thought.”

Ever since this whole debacle had started, scrambled was probably the most effective and blanketing term she could use to describe her thoughts. Keeping all her leads straight was enough of a challenge without Johnny’s endless commentary, especially when a chatty brain tumor apparently wasn’t enough to excuse her from merc work. Still, the fact that she’d forgotten how close Tom’s Diner was to her building was alarming. And it was difficult to tell just what was exhaustion, and what was the chip carving its way through her grey matter.

She had to admit, it was a more enticing option than walking home looking like a mass murderer. And it didn’t take much consideration for her to turn and start walking towards the door of the restaurant. “I guess that is a better idea, isn’t it?”

“Slightly,” Johnny retorted, apparently having the decency to not flicker completely out of existence as he turned to walk beside her; the flat tone of his voice was contrasted by the satisfied smirk that tugged at his lips. 

---

The greasy heat of the diner mingling with the outside humidity caused Valerie to feel as though she’d just stepped into a sauna, and she did her best to ignore the way her shoes seemed to stick to the floor with every step she took before her and Johnny slid into the nearest booth. The window grabbed her attention immediately when Johnny leaned back against it in the seat across from her, as waves of deep red water swept down the glass. She did her best to try and convince herself that whatever was causing the gory pigmentation was just sediment.

Her rockerboy passenger was strangely silent on his side of the table. Night City was always a menagerie of interesting people, and the inside of Tom’s Diner was certainly no exception. But even as they people watched, Johnny suddenly seemed to be fresh out of his usual deprecating play-by-play; choosing instead to idly tap his hand against the table. But despite his silence, his mind was still going. Not that it ever really stopped. He was always scheming somewhere in the back of her head. The exact details, however, were fuzzy. And perhaps best left undisturbed.

Still, it had a way of making his silences rather uncomfortable. So she voted to instigate another wordless conversation to fill the rapidly expanding void.

“Nice of you to stop me out there. Kinda surprised you didn’t just let me go so you could laugh at me later.”

The tapping never stopped, but she wasn’t left without a response. “Plenty of other ways to die in this city without walking home with a mouthful of toxic water. Hardly a fitting end for a merc; even one of your caliber.”

“Well, thanks for looking out for me…I think?”

Johnny finally stopped tapping on the table long enough to force himself to sit up a little bit straighter posture, however it was subsequently ruined when he reclined back and lifted his legs to rest them across the table. It was a strange callback to the last time they’d been here. “Besides. You’ve got eddies in your pocket, right? Could eat a horse right now.” 

Finally, the pieces were beginning to click in her mind. V rolled her eyes before leaning over the table and resting her head in her palm. “Ahh, I get it now. We’re only here because you’re hungry.” 

“You’re fuckin’ starving. And if you’re starving, I’m starving. If we’re out of cigarettes, the least you can do is indulge me with some shitty diner scop.”

There was always room for him to put it a little more politely, but he certainly wasn’t wrong. Sometimes it was difficult to remember to not let herself run on fumes while she was chasing down leads all over the city. Plus, in recent days she’d gained a whole new understanding of the term “worried sick.” But despite his harsh sounding words, Johnny was hardly frustrated with her. In fact, he seemed to be in a unusually good mood. And because of their lovely little feedback loop, it was contagious. 

Valerie couldn’t not chuckle at him, and his convoluted way of avoiding the dreaded word please. “Right away, your majesty.”

---

If it was shitty diner scop Johnny wanted, shitty diner scop was exactly what he was going to get. And she figured that the biggest plate of french fries the diner offered sitting in a lake of grease would satiate her outspoken tapeworm.  

V waited for the waitress and her stained apron to walk away before gesturing to the plate with a triumphant little smile on her face. “A mountain of the finest fries Tom could dump out of a plastic bag and into a fryer. This good enough for you?”

The wave of approval she felt from Johnny told her that yes, this was exactly what he had been looking for. However, she doubted his actual answer would be that concise. “Fries…Don’t you mean frites?”

“You do realize that I wasn’t born in France, right?”

“You do realize that I can see all of your memories too, right? I know you weren’t born in France, V…But you’ve got expensive taste for a Heywood kid.” 

Valerie raised a questioning eyebrow at him, hardly noticing as her left hand reached for the salt shaker at the end of the table and dumped about a quarter of its contents all over the fries. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“The pastries. It’s all you’d eat if it wouldn’t kill you; especially the custard ones. Hard to find shit like that outside of some extortionate corpo joint.” 

V shrugged as she took a small handful of the now salt encrusted fries and lifted them to her mouth. “Well, what do you want me to say? They’re good. Have good memories attached to them.” 

She took a bite, and in a second realized she’d severely misjudged the amount of time she’d given them to cool as the roof of her mouth suddenly felt as if it was melting. It was a sight that was apparently humorous enough to warrant a genuine laugh from the rockerboy, and somehow his shiteating grin only grew wider when she lightly glared at him past all of her distressed panting. “Laugh it up; you won’t find it as funny here in a few moments,” she warned silently. Like he had said, the sensory delay was significant. But the burn would reach him too…Eventually. 

He was still grinning when he turned his attention to the window again. It had already been growing dark when they’d entered the diner, but the only light outside now emanated from the neon signs and market stalls out behind the building. However, it was still more than enough for both of them to see that the violent looking rain was now being washed away by clearer water. Still dirty, of course. But perhaps not as toxic as it might have been when it first started falling.

“Well, would you look at that? Looks like I can walk you home now,” Johnny spoke before pushing himself to sit up straight.

“Such a gentleman,” V replied, making sure to blow on her food this time to spare herself another burn. 

---

Valerie was parched by the time she was done eating; no doubt due to Johnny’s apparent desire for an obscene amount of salt with his grease. But, her need to get home before the weather had another chance to turn biblical was stronger than her desire for a NiCola. The rain was still coming down in buckets as she stood underneath the overhang again, and she had no doubt that the gutters and potholes still looked like pools of blood. But at least it was now too dark to be able to tell, and the signs and billboards of the nearby shops lightly illuminated the wet asphalt. Oftentimes many characteristics of NC needed to be sugar coated to make tolerating them easier. Romanticized, even…But she never found it difficult to romanticize a neon lit street during an evening rainstorm.  

“Not even going to take your umbrella out for me?” she questioned in jest as her passenger walked up alongside her. 

“My bad. Looks like I may have left it at home,” came the monotone response, and out of the corner of her eye she could see that smile again. She couldn’t recall one time tonight where it had ever actually disappeared. 

Finally, she stepped into the street and started towards home without interruption. Johnny walked with a bit of extra speed to overtake her, and she found herself caught off guard that he still had yet to vanish, the way he always did.

It was odd. He was being odd. The fantastic mood was strange; usually she could always feel him brooding under the surface; like a pot of water preparing to boil over. And really it was no wonder, as he’d made it clear this situation was just as uncomfortable for him as it was for her. His good moods were few and far in between, and rarely came along on their own without him doing everything he could to really push her buttons. But he was downright jovial tonight, and it didn’t even seem like he was being agreeable because there was something in it for him to gain. 

So what was the reason?

The lull in conversation between them seemed expectant, like there was more that needed to be said. Rarely was this ever the case; but he still hadn’t disappeared yet, and he actually was walking her home despite how unnecessary it was. The ball was on her side of the court, even if she had no idea what kind of court it was. 

“You know, this has been a…Strangely nice night. Wish it was always like this,” she cautiously piped up as they walked. It would be a shame to spoil the mood now. 

“And why’s that?” Johnny inquired, keeping his eyes firmly on the sidewalk in front of them as they inched closer to her building. 

“Well, you’ve been in a good mood. Haven’t tried that hard to piss me off. Wish I knew the key to keeping it like this all the time.”

The rockerboy responded quickly. Perhaps a little too quickly for his own liking. “Well it’s not the first time a date has tried to poison me or burn me; at least you only did it by accident.” 

Both of them came to an abrupt stop at the same time as they registered exactly what he had said, and the heart-dropping sensation in Valerie’s chest was only magnified by Johnny’s own dread. There was no doubt in her mind that she’d heard him correctly; there wasn’t any room for her to doubt it. But it didn’t make his words any less stupefying. 

“Hang on, hang on. Did you just call me your…Date? Johnny?” V questioned as he finally turned back towards her.

He went out of his way to not look her in the eye. And his hand rested on his hip for a few moments until he suddenly spun on his heels and stormed into a nearby alcove. And she reached out for him, leaping forward as if to grab his arm like it would be enough to stop him from running. But he was gone; flickering out of existence once more like an apparition vanishing into a wall.

But they both knew that wasn’t enough to let him hide, because she could feel an amalgamation of emotions swirling in her chest separate from her own shock and awe. Frustration. Mortification. Her blood was running cold on his behalf, but at the same time she felt almost weightless. Relieved. Like she had just told a damning secret that she’d no longer have to shoulder the burden of alone. 

And somewhere underneath everything else…There was adoration.

Valerie had a hunch that his reticence was to be expected after that exchange, so she didn’t waste her breath pushing and prodding him to speak again. It would come up again sooner or later, after all. He was tethered to her, and her to him…

But she allowed a pleased grin to take over her features as she resumed the walk back to her apartment, with a newfound pep to her step. 

[poorbbyyy]

This is is from my book called Swing Low a Jimmy Page fan fiction. All rights belong to me

The Description: " How did such a sweet little minx like you end up here? Tell me darling what's your name?" He spoke with his thick accent.

His eyes dark and piercing through me in a way I'd never felt before. How they burned right through me.I gulped nervously before speaking to this mysterious man. There was something about him so dark that had me wanting to squirm away. But I was frozen still a few inches away before him.

" My names M-Misty. What is your name sir?" I spoke timidly.

The corners of his mouth turned upwards as he moved in a little closer. I could tell from the look on his face he enjoyed my nervousness. It was as if I was his prey and he the predator. His arm now snaked around my waist bringing me in closer to his lean frame. I could feel his hand on the dip of my back as he closed the space between us.

"The name is Jimmy, Jimmy Page to you."

_______________________________________________

Chapter 1: Breaking The Rules

" Darla no! I don't want to get into trouble. You know my parents would never let me see the light of day if they found out. I mean what if your parents find out and tell mine!" A seven teen year old Misty shouted.

Misty looked at her best friend Darla with concern. Misty couldn't even stomach the thought of doing something so crazy. Let alone sneaking out to go to some place known as The Rainbow. A place where seventeen year olds had no concern to be, especially in the evening hours. Misty never stepped out of line when it came to following the rules. She never disobeyed or even dare acted up. She was so fearful due to her faith. Along with the punishments she might receive. The thought being sent to hell or purgatory for even the slightest thing sent her over.

Darla rolled her big brown eyes and shook her head. Darla was your average rebellious seventeen year old who lived with her grandparents. At this time of hour which was 9pm. They were already in bed and possibly knocked out to the sound of the nightly game show playing on their small television. They always had the same nightly routine which ended with the television watching them.

" Misty I am willing to bet they're off the pill and asleep. Stop being such a baby. This is a once in a lifetime chance and you wanna stay in!" Darla whined back.

" Aren't you tired of living so straight edge? So along the rules? Why live if you're always missing out on an adventure. Do you even know who's rumored to be there tonight Misty?" She said while shaking Misty by the shoulders.

Misty was quite the square, she never misbehaved. She never stepped outside her comfort zone or outside the lines of her mere simple life. Misty always abided by religious sayings and by whatever rule she was given. Her family quite trusted her given she was so well mannered and submissive upon request. They would lose complete trust and never let her sleep over again if they found out. Her parents trusted her enough to leave her be at Darla's for the summer  due to business travels. They'd only been gone for a day now .

Misty never entered into the typical female rebellious phase. Darla on the other hand was the opposite, she was such a wild spirit and so free. She was a wild child and a native to the California area. She didn't come from a conservative and straight edge home like Misty. Hell she grew up in such a liberal and free state. The raging and swinging sixties? She saw the revolution, she saw the riots and the drugs.

The environment around her blossomed something within. Unlike Misty Darla had kissed boys, even girls she kissed. She was free and explored a bit, she'd recently dived into the well known scene of the baby groupies. She was all still new but craved the feeling of being wanted by older men. The first man she slept with was the one and only Mick Jagger. It happened last year when she was sixteen.He took her virginity in the back of the limo on the way to the hotel.

She couldn't remember much considering how intoxicated she was. But that was a pivotal moment that changed it all.Knowing that she had what others wanted drove her ego. Her pride filled knowing she could possibly have someone wanting her for the night. Maybe longer if she was lucky.

Darla had quite the daddy issues but that was another thing both her and Misty shared. They both had similar struggles growing up. Yes they might've been cut from two different cloths but nonetheless they bonded well. They were like ying and Yang. Darla was a Gemini and Misty a Scorpio. They were quite the pairing.

Misty silently stood there still in Darlas hands. Darla was right wasn't she? But there was a strong instilled discipline that echoed in the back of her mind. The anxiety of what if? What would god think of me and what would my placement be with my parents? But she quickly shooed the thought away, hell Darla was right.

Misty was tempted after coming to that conclusion. All her life she behaved.... All her life she did as she was told and nonetheless. She never rebelled, now to think of it as what was she doing? She was a teenager, teenagers make mistakes and live. She never once had fun outside of hanging out with Darla. But no adventures besides sneaking out and sitting on the roof . That was the farthest she'd gone. She wanted to hear more though before she decided.

She shook Darla's hands off her shoulders before fixing the hem of her velvet black skirt.

"Who's going to be there?" She asked.

Instantly Darla smiled, she knew she had peaked her best friend's curiosity. A few more minutes of persuasion and she would sink the line. It was just that easy, especially with her big doe eyes. She was so persuasive  Even her best friend couldn't say no. Darla excitedly giggled and jumped in place.

"FREAKING LED ZEPPELIN! Like the Led Zeppelin! Also the Stones are going to be there as well as other upcoming bands. It's been the talk of the town lately. They've decided to come visit, I guess they've heard of the commotion and are on break from tour. It's quite the place." She gushed.

God she couldn't wait to see Mick again.

" Please just come just once, I'll never beg of you for anything else. Plus Elise and the other girls are gonna be there. They're waiting for me! This is a once in a lifetime moment Misty." She pleaded while pouting.

Misty sighed and that was it.

"Ah alright Darla, but just one night and that's it. Promise me we'll be safe?" She spoke.

Darla couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her ears rung with joy at that, she was dumbfounded. She grabbed Misty's hands and they both jumped excitedly. The two girls jumped in joy over their newfound plan. Tonight was the first night Misty would jump out of her comfort zone. Neither girl could believe this was happening for the same reason. This was Misty Ash the goodie two shoes catholic girl.

In all of their friendship since elementary school, she's never done something so profoundly different. The craziest thing she'd done was sneak into her basement to listen to vinyls of secular music. That's what her parents would call it.

" Alright first things first is I need you out of those boring clothes. We need to dress a little "scandalous" as they would say." Darla sarcastically giggled.

Misty looked down at her clothes, she was wearing an ankle length black skirt and a flow-like white button up blouse. She was very reserved or that's just what her whole wardrobe was like. She looked back at Darla confused. She didn't know if she felt offended or whatnot, she liked her outfit. It was the normal and was appropriate, not once did she show skin outside of what was to be shown.

She was raised so very conservative and to treat her body like a temple. Yes she wanted to dress like the new age girls did, but she wasn't allowed. She never argued about it.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" She questioned.

Darla laughed loudly at her, her head thrown back as she covered her mouth. Misty blushed with embarrassment at the seventeen year olds laughter.

" No one will talk to you unless they're either checking out a book or asking if you're Amish girlie. Let's get you out of this drab clothing. You need something that shows you off not covers you. I know this seems so different but trust me. I know how to dress to impress no offense. " Darla giggled as she ran to her closet.

Darla was thick but Misty could still possibly fit in her clothes. Darla had seen Misty before, she was a well endowed girl. She slightly envied her figure. Her breasts were bigger than Darlas flatter chest. Her thighs were thicker but her stomach was flatter.

Darla went through her closet trying to find the one dress she knew would suit Darla best. She pulled out an orange dress that would perfect show what Misty had.

( Misty's outfit and imagine some white go go boots)

She excitedly turned around pinching the soft velvety material between her fingers. She smiled as she looked up from the dress at Misty. Misty's eyes widened, dear lord this was so revealing.

"This is what you're wearing tonight along with the pair of white boots I own. You'll look amazing and it'll be so dashing on your figure. Everybody will want you in this." She said as she threw the dress at Misty.

Everybody will want me? Misty caught it and pulled it up looking at it. Her eyes still wide but she was ready, ready to drop the goodie look. Try something new, she was already going through her plan. She can't chicken out now, Darla would tease her until death did them in. She begged for forgiveness from Mother Mary before unzipping the side of her skirt.

"That's my girl!" Darla shouted before going back to grab her outfit.

Darla's outfit^ ( paired with platform chunky brown leather boots)

Misty pulled the dress on, it slid up perfectly fitting like a glove in the right way. Darla came up from behind her scaring Misty slightly. Her arms went before and around Misty's neck as she placed the heart shaped locket on her chest. She moved Misty's thick brown hair to the side so she could clasp the necklace together. The laying of the necklace on her smooth skin sent shivers up her spin. It was quite cold.

" Look at yourself in the mirror. See how divine you look? It's like the heavens crafted you perfectly." Darla spoke behind her while fixing her hair.

Misty brushed her legs trying to pull at the fabric. But it wouldn't move, she couldn't hide her body for once. She looked so surprised in the mirror, her body looked so grown. She looked grown and she was shocked. She saw herself in a way she never had before. She started to feel her ego jump as Darla hyped her up while hitting her joint. Misty could only look at herself in awe while posing in the mirror. Turning from left to right as she checked herself out.

This was new and she felt different  to how she would've before. She actually liked it, she felt hot. It was a new feeling, she felt so heavenly  as Darla would say. She'd never seen her body look so good before. Her breasts pressed tightly by the dress amplifying her cleavage. The dress perfectly clinging to her wide set hips. Before she couldn't have imagined herself this way. Out of her typically modest and conservative wear.

She was quite again developed for her age. She was quite the early bloomer and her parents were quick to cover her. Her parents knew how perverse people would be towards her.

"You're right Darla and thank you. I feel so out of my element maybe but I feel how would you say?" She questioned.

She couldn't find the word to describe it. Darla would beat her to the chase being so quick witted.

"You look hot, desirable. Hell if you weren't my best friend and I would probably want to kiss you. You're going to fit in perfectly. But before you leave hit this joint why don't you? I know how anxious you are and will be tonight." She spoke.

Misty shook her head, she hadn't smoked before and she would cope without it. She would try not to let her worry and anxiety sway her. She wanted to have fun for once without the vibe being killed by her conscious. She didn't really care for the smell of it either. Hell it smelt so skunk like. Darla shrugged and took one last hit before putting it out on the window sill before putting it in her purse.

"Welp that settles it Misty are you ready to go?" She giggled with her heavier eyes.

Misty took a deep breathe and nodded anxiously.

"I'm ready Darla let's go to Rainbow."Misty spoke.

Darla took Misty's hand and helped her out the window. Luckily Darla lived in a ranch house so the ground was easily accessible. Plus she'd snuck out countless times already, she helped Misty out. 

"One foot out than scoot over, I've got you."She said while taking Misty's hand.

Misty's boots hit the ground with a thud. The warm summer evening air brushed her skin like fragrance. It felt so beautiful out, the city of West Hollywood light up the sky. It was so beautiful, people were walking around.  There were couples and all sorts of people giggling, conversations filled the atmospheres along with the honking of cars. The air was dry and of pure quality, it was refreshing. She took her first few steps following Darla towards the sidewalk.

Darla put two of her fingers in her mouth and blew out a loud whistle catching the attention of people around.

"Taxi Man over here!" She yelled.

The yellow taxi sped over to us quickly, man this must've been a decent job Misty thought. She'd never seen Darla so eager to get somewhere. The whistle still ringing through her ears like a race car on the track.

The driver lurched over to roll the window down. The window squeaked a little bit as the man shown his face.

" Where to ladies?" He spoke with a thick Italian accent.

"My friend and I are heading to 9015 Sunset Boulevard. You know the Rainbow!" She hollered.

He unlocked the car quickly and both of the girls entered in quickly. The ride was quite short about 15 minutes. Misty just watched out the window as she heard Darla and the man converse. She watched all the buzz before her in Hollywood. She daydreamed wondering where the night would lead her. She'd heard of Led Zeppelin before but was never allowed to listen due to her parents thinking it was racket and demonic. But she knew they were such a big and loved band. Oh how the girls in the  neighborhood and school would gush about them.

She saw them also in the newspaper it was rather bad news about hotel shenanigans. She was honestly excited for the pizza, she'd been to the rainbow once with Darla's family. The pizza and sherry temples were to die for, how her stomach growled thinking about it.

"Alright ladies that'll be a ten dollar fee."The cab driver spoke.

The car stopped suddenly snapping Misty out of her thoughts. Wow we're finally here she thought. God it was lit up and looked packed, I mean it was a Friday night. What else could she expect. This was the hot and upcoming crazed spot. The infamous groupies came and bands would come to see them as well. It was a great spot to eat at and supposedly a great bar.

But she knew nothing of alcohol outside of the effects. She never tried it obviously it was forbidden.After hanging the ten dollar bill over Darla eagerly shoved her way out grabbing Misty's hand. Dragging her out the car and quickly towards the entrance.

Misty's heart started to race. She felt some sort of impending feeling in her gut. She didn't know why but she knew that something was gonna happen. Her intuition just gave off that feeling. Her parents always told her to trust her gut. But she decided that maybe she was overthinking and threw the thought away. She would come to know that she should've trusted it later.

They pushed through the doors, it was bustling in there. Full of people and loud music blaring. There was conversations spewing throughout the air like a wildfire in the dry lands. She'd never seen this many people crowded outside of a church gathering. She saw things she hadn't seen before already, things considered impure. Women scantily clad in revealing clothing, sit on the laps of the men.

Thick smoke of cigarettes filled the atmosphere like a thick fog. The smell was intense but she would adapt pretty quick.

"Over there Misty! Holy fuck do you see them!! It's Robert Plant and the rest of them." Darla pointed out towards the back end of the place.

Misty followed to where she pointed. There at a crowded table sat a few guys with young girls sat in the both. Cigarettes and shot glasses in the hands of them all. It was quite the sight for Misty, she'd never seen something like this in her life. Over there she noticed Elise and the girls sitting at the table with the Stones, Darla rushed over still holding Misty's hands.

Misty was drug her feet just moving against her will.

" Darla you've made it! And holy fuck Misty is that you? Church girl Misty?!" The blonde headed Elise yelled in surprise.

Misty felt embarrassed as the guys peered at her chuckling. But also looking at her body with their greedy gazes.

" Yeah I'm here Elise, I don't know how Darla did it but I'm here." She laughed nervously while fidgeting with her bangles on her wrist.

Misty felt embarrassed indeed and the red again rushed straight to her cheeks. Thank god the room was dimly lit so they couldn't see. Misty felt exposed to this new environment, she was trying to catch her breathe. It was quite the sight to take in, this was definitely not her type of scene. It was different it was completely crazed. So much was going on. She needed to get away for a bit and possibly get something to drink to clear her dry throat.

She was also annoyed by how awkward she stood there staring like a deer in the headlights. She felt so lost in her environment and a little overwhelmed to say the least. Darla was already sat on the guy with shaggy hairs lap, he was a little rough looking definitely not her type. They weren't as good looking as the Led Zeppelin men. Well the ones she saw, she only saw what looked to be John Bonham and Robert Plant.

She looked for the nearest counter to find a drink and started to walk over. She was going to get through this night and have the fun she never did. She wasn't going to chicken out like the girls muttered earlier as if she couldn't hear. She would prove them wrong.

She soon enough got through to the counter after the multiple "excuse me" she spoke. It was quite crowded and she was still polite.

"Well I've yet to see you around here before?" The bartender spoke.

The man was so used to this hence speaking loud enough for her to hear. She chuckled nervously and nodded.

" Yeah I'm quite new first time coming here. I came with the girl over there." She said and pointed towards Darla.

He nodded and smiled.

"Ah Miss Darla quite the customer she is here. She's always around this way when the bands come in town." He said.

Misty just wanted a drink not conversation, for Pete's sake her throat was dryer than a desert. But before she could speak up a man came beside her and did.

" She'll get a margarita and I'll get a rum with coke." A British voice spoke besides her.

" I'll get that Mr.Grant." The bartender spoke.

Misty turned towards the man, he towered over her by merely a foot or more. Misty was only five foot three. She was quite the shorty. She couldn't understand and what was a margarita? It had to be something good from the way it sounded. Then she remembered it was an adult drink. But she remembered what the girls muttered about her being a chicken. She wanted to prove them wrong.

"Peter Grant Manager of the great band known as Led Zeppelin. I was told to have to come over one of the men were interested in dancing with you. Come forth love." He spoke while escorting her over.

He handed her the margarita he ordered for her. She didn't really know what to do or say, this was all so new. What did Led Zeppelin want with me? Why did they want me to dance with them? Who was this mysterious person?

The answers would come to her soon. Before she knew it she was met with a fellow she'd never seen before. He was a tall pale man with quite the fashion taste, his hair crowded his face like a cloak. He looked down on her easily. She felt so small compared to him.

Before she could turn around and make a run for it  he grabbed her wrist making her freeze.

She whimpered at the strength of his grip.

Who was this man? And why is he doing this?

A/N: I hope you guys liked this. I haven't written in years and I was writing this late into the night. I just want to let you know I like to write long chapters. I want to pour my heart into this. It's so fun and I enjoy letting my imagination run. Just wanted to let you know the next chapter is quite long. Also heavily detailed smut. It might be an almost 10k word count. Also want to let you know I do not condone what the guys did with ACTUAL CHILDREN!