#though I definitely also have experience in starting to write a big project without knowing how I'd get to the end...

[anderstrevelyan]

For the fic writing ask game :)

✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite

🌅 do you typically known the ending to something before you start writing it?

😊 say something nice about your writing

(for these fic writing asks!)

list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite

I think my favourite bit of dialogue writing I've done is Sceleritas Fel's turn in Haunted One, so how about these? A really fun exercise in picking up a very specific character voice.

“What…what happened to my father?” “Hmm?” Sceleritas hums. “Father Bhaal has been thwarted so many a time, so now he begins anew. With—” he dips his chin and capitulates toward him in a small bow “—perfection. Oh, they’ll say you’re not perfect yet, my dear vernal villain, but I can see it already. An exquisite terror.”

And a bit later:

But this Sceleritas, who invokes the god’s name still, is waiting for him to speak. Valas tries to infuse it with sarcasm. “So sayeth the wise Alaundo.” The butler reacts with glee. “Indeed! Indeed. ‘Chaos will be sewn from their passage.’ It is time, little lord, for us to pick up that chaos and—plip, plop!—spread it across the realms.”

do you typically known the ending to something before you start writing it?

For a longer project, yes actually! The final sequence of Haunted One was the first part I wrote, and I've long had the final sequence of my next multi-chapter project drafted—I like knowing I have something to write toward. For a one-shot, though, no not typically (those tend to start with a specific image and build in either direction from there).

say something nice about your writing

I quite like my prose style! Once I find a way to make it sound like me I think it has a good rhythm and cadence.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Do my symptoms align with autism?

I’ve been looking into whether I might be autistic recently. I’m not self-diagnosing. I just suspect I might have autism, and I wanted to put this here to see what other people think.

Reasons why I think I am:

1. Stimming

This is definitely the main one. I think I stim way more than a neurotypical would, even when I was a kid. I pace, I walk in circles, I spin around over and over and over and over again and I don’t really get dizzy. I especially like to listen to music while doing this.

Before spinning in circles, I used to pace around in circles with my hands clenched together. It sort of helped me focus and think and daydream.

I do the spinning thing multiple times a day, and if I’m forced to go a few days without it, I get antsy and a little frustrated. (When I spin, I do it on the hardwood floor, keeping my balance by placing my hands on the back of the couch, and doing it on carpet is a lot harder. This is my favorite “type” of stim, so if I’m on a vacation where we’re at a hotel without hardwood floors, that’s why I can’t do it sometimes. But then I will anyway on carpet because I just have to.)

I do tend to rock when I’m by myself — or, swaying is more like it, but yeah, rocking too. I’ll sway a bit more than I will rock.

I’m literally pacing in circles as I type this out lol.

2. Hyperfixations/special interests

(Are those the same thing, or two different things? Please correct me if they’re classified as different things.)

I have what I’d call special interests — gender, Amphibia, Dork Diaries. I look up genders and try to learn as much about them as possible, everyday.

For Amphibia and Dork Diaries, I usually just read fanfic or write my own. The other thing I do a lot is daydreaming, though, and those are the top 2 things I daydream about. I’m constantly in my head, and I’m usually daydreaming in the back of my mind, like, all day. (About those two things.)

The thing about my hyperfixations are that I don’t talk to other people about them. (I don’t like talking in general, really.) I just keep them to myself and learn about them/daydream about them by myself. I never felt a need to share and I don’t infodump on people.

3. Fidgeting

I’m not sure if this is the same as stimming, but I’m separating these two.

Usually when I’m sitting still, I’m fidgeting. I’ll be tapping my pencil or foot 90% of the time. I do it a lot, and I don’t even notice sometimes when I do.

I don’t know where to put this either, but I also bite my nails. I don’t just bite them either, I pick them off. It calms me down and helps me relax or gives me something to do when I’m nervous or just plain bored. (I’m well aware this isn’t healthy, please don’t attack me in the comments section.)

4. Procrastination (executive dysfunction?)

I know lots of people procrastinate, but I think what I experience lines up more with executive dysfunction. (Which I’ve learned is also a trait of ADHD, so I don’t know if I have that instead.)

It’s so so hard to focus on a school task or something that’s boring. Or even something that’s exciting, like writing on a fanfic or book, I procrastinate on so much. I set plans to do things but I don’t get them done. Even when it’s something stupidly easy to do, sometimes I just don’t do it. And when it’s hard, when I don’t even know where to start, it’s nearly impossible to start. (I usually force myself to get it done anyway, with big projects, but with smaller things and little homework assignments, I don’t always do. Then I kick myself for it later.)

5. Routine

I eat the same food every day for lunch, at school. (Uncrustables sandwich, yogurt, applesauce, and/or yogurt with m&m toppings I can put it in.) At home, I eat different foods for lunch — I make my own cheese burrito when we have soft shell tacos and shredded cheese. If that isn’t available, I make cheese sandwiches. If that isn’t available, sometimes I remember other things that are quick and easy to make for lunch — like pizza rolls. And if I don’t have that either, sometimes I’ll just skip lunch entirely. Or eat a small snack that doesn’t require effort to make whatsoever, but it’s usually not enough to qualify for “lunch”.

I don’t wear the same clothes everyday, but I never go shopping. I could wear the same clothes for years and be fine with it (as long as I’ve not outgrown them). The only time I get new clothes is when I see a shirt I really like. Which is usually Stitch (Lilo and Stitch, anyone?)

It’s really hard to break routine.

So there’s this thing at my school, where you can tutor/help out at an elementary school for service hours, and eventually get a scholarship to a 2-year college. The scholarship thing is major.

It took me months just to email the teacher and ask when I could come in. I’m probably severely behind on my volunteer hours. And the stupid thing is, now it’s not even hard. I just went on the first day, and it was established that I would do it every day, so there wasn’t a way I could back out anyway. And now I go and it’s no problem. It’s so stupid.

6. Social Situations

I might have social anxiety, I don’t know. I get anxious at the thought of new situations, having to meet new people, etc. I heavily dislike talking to people I don’t know. It’s why I prefer not to talk to the cashier at McDonald’s, or rehearse what I’m going to say at the restaurant.

When people ask, “Hi, how are you?”, I answer “Good, how are you?” They say something back, maybe mention a tiny bit of what’s going on in their lives, and then it’s over. For that, I have a pre-recorded answer. For other situations, as I’ll mention later, I’m actually mostly comfortable.

I speak pretty softly, and sometimes I have to force myself to a louder volume.

7. I prefer to do things on my own

I’m independent in a lot of ways, unless I need help. (And, um, not financially independent or anything, I still live with my parents.) And even when I need help, like with homework, it’s hard to let other people help me sometimes. I prefer doing things on my own.

Reasons why I think I’m not:

1. I’m fine at social interaction.

I usually pick up on social cues, and communication has never been much of an issue for me. (Sometimes I will sort of freeze up or trail off when talking, and suddenly my brain won’t make my mouth say things. Aside from that, I communicate well.) I understand that bad social interaction was a pretty big indicator of autism, but I’m not bad at it, really.

Actually, the one difference from this is that I do have pretty bad eye contact. I try to look at people’s eyes when talking because it’s polite, but then I look away, and then I look back, and then I look away, and I don’t know how long I’m supposed to maintain eye contact before looking away again. I don’t like it.

I am deaf, and I wear Cochlear Implants for me to hear. My social interaction is affected by this, as noisy situations are notoriously difficult for me to hear in. I’m asking “What?” multiple times a day lol. Sometimes I can’t hear a word the other kid is saying in school, and I just smile and nod because that’s all I can do, because it’s just too noisy. (I’m throwing this out here in case it’s something you might need to take into consideration, but it is completely unrelated to any potential autism.)

2. I don’t have hypersensitivity (I don’t think so)

Loud sounds don’t really bother me, nor do bright lights, or textures, or certain flavors or whatever. I eat the same thing a lot because of routine, not because of uncomfortable flavors or food textures. I think there have been times when everything was just a little too much. Then I usually find the nearest bathroom to calm myself down in. I don’t know if this is overstimulation or not, tho. Or if it’s specific to neurodivergency, or just me being an introvert and getting overwhelmed by people. And it’s not that often at all.

3. Very little aggression

I know that like a lot of things, autism is a spectrum. One of the symptoms is aggression, and I have very little of that. Usually when I’m frustrated with homework and my mom’s trying to help, I’ll get snappish with her (and then apologize later, because she wasn’t doing anything wrong and only trying to help).

Sometimes I do feel really mad, but I just grit my teeth and deal with it internally instead of lashing out. Like arguing in my head until I’ve calmed down and moved on.

4. Meltdowns/Shutdowns

I’m fairly sure I don’t have either of these. I think that’s also a major autism thing, one that I don’t have.

Things That I Can’t Put Into a Category Because I Don’t Know Whether It’s Indicative of Autism or Literally Just a Me Thing:

• Repeating words and phrases: I don’t do that out loud, but I will in my head

• Vocal stims: I very rarely do these, and if I do hum or make a noise, it’s usually entirely involuntary, usually because I was excited. I don’t mean to

• Repeating words: I very rarely do that also, but it has happened before. (It happened today once, when we were playing a game. Nothing came of it, it wasn’t weird, I just repeated a word my mom said — I can’t remember what it was, not a bad one though)

• Facial expression: I don’t think I have a blank-face that many autistic people do. I’m often smiling when I’m happy, or laughing at things that are funny. (Which aren’t even that funny to other people. Sarcasm makes me laugh a lot. I laugh a lot more easily than other people do.) I feel like occasionally it is hard to force myself into a facial expression if I’m not feeling that way

• Unusual posture: I literally just looked this up. I’m basically running through all of the autism symptoms and explaining mine, and this is one of them. I think I might have unusual posture. One of the things is shifting all your weight into one leg, and that’s something I definitely do, especially when I have to stand still. (And whenever I have to stand really still, and I’m not putting all weight into one leg, sometimes my knees will lock, and it’ll make me light-headed. I almost passed out one time from doing that. Never again.) I don’t really know if my posture is unusual aside from that. It might be and I just never noticed. Or it might not. I don’t know.

• Clumsiness: I never considered myself clumsy, but my brother has told me that he thinks I am. (Considering he’s my younger brother and says a lot of stuff to annoy me, take this with a grain of salt.)

• Oh, speaking of: metaphors. I think for the most part I understand them. Like grain of salt. And if I don’t, then I look it up.

• Sarcasm: kind of hit or miss with me. Sometimes I think my brain knows the other person is being sarcastic, because there’s just no way they’re serious about what they just said. But my brain makes me treat it like they are being serious, especially if their tone sounds serious. It’s hard to tell sometimes. But when I do get sarcasm, when their tone sounds obviously sarcastic, then usually it’s funny and makes me laugh

• I don’t like being away from home for a long time. Even a week gets me extremely homesick, and it feels like it’s getting worse as I get older. Maybe because I know I’ll have to move out eventually, or move away to college. Moving away for college, or moving out and far away, TERRIFIES me. This may not be an autistic thing, but I don’t know, so I put it here. Maybe it’s because my routine and my whole life would be upended. I don’t know.

• Speaking in monotone: Much like my facial expressions, I feel like I speak pretty “normally”. I don’t have a monotone voice usually. (I feel like sometimes I do, though? Not often)

• Putting pressure on the front of your feet: Apparently that’s a thing. I don’t think I do that. I don’t think I’ve done that in the past

• Decision-making: Related to the executive dysfunction thing. I think I put off big decisions. (I‘ve only somewhat-but-not-really decided which college I’m going to. And I might change my mind.)

• Sometimes when I try to joke, people think I’m being rude. I don’t know if that’s a tone issue on my part, or if the joke is in poor taste or seems more mean than just a joke (when I only ever intended for it to be a joke). Also for clarification, none of my jokes are ever racist or homophobic or anything, and I never try to be mean when I joke

• Special object: I don’t think I have one, unless you consider my phone. I don’t go anywhere without it lol. But like little things to fidget with, that bring me comfort, I don’t really have that. I just fidget with my hands, I guess.

• Verbal Instructions: Those are really hard for me to follow. If I only have verbal instructions and not readable ones, you can bet it’s a lot harder to get the thing done. I usually need a lot of clarification or things repeated to me, although that’s partially due to deafness. (I don’t think entirely, though.)

Other things about me that may or may not be relevant/important for you to know:

- I am aroace (no sexual or romantic attraction for anyone)

- I think I’m aplatonic too, and mostly anattractional (or grey-attractional, if that’s a thing). Online friends are easier for me than irl friends. I don’t even know what qualifies as a friendship

- I’m deaf (but I already explained that). I do hear with my Cochlear Implants, but I know it’s not that exact same as hearing people. I don’t know if that’s why I’m not as hypersensitive to loud sounds, or if I’m just not hypersensitive at all. (I don’t think this is something you could help clarify, though, seeing as it’s specific to me.)

I have taken a few autism tests and gotten answers like “you have moderate autism symptoms” or even “high symptoms” sometimes. For ADHD, the test answers ranged from “No” to “Potentially” to “Moderate ADHD”. (Don’t worry, I know that the tests aren’t meant to be substituted for the real thing. I just took them to try and see where I fit, if there were any indicators, etc.)

I am planning to talk to my mom soon and see if it’s possible for me to get a diagnosis. Things aren’t too hard for me right now, but I am getting older and I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to live on my own — which isn’t entirely related to this, but I feel like if I need help, I should get diagnosed as soon as possible. (If I have it at all.)

Basically, my reason for posting this was to get a second opinion, especially from people who are autistic themselves. Does this sound like autism or ADHD or something else entirely? (Is it possible to have both that have symptoms that cancel each other out?) Am I just neurotypical, but like, weird?

I want to be clear, I know you can’t diagnose me and I should see a professional. I just wanted a second opinion, in case it’s just me overthinking everything.

Also, I’m so sorry for this being so long. It’s probably a pain to read. I’m just trying to be as specific as possible.

Hi there,

I’m sorry I’m just getting to this. My goodness this was a long inbox! Lol.

This was very thorough and detailed, so it was nice to read. Nice formatting too.

I would say some traits align. But like you said, I’m not a professional. So I can’t really say. I’m curious about what my followers think too. Hopefully some chime in.

I would recommend writing what you told me here down to bring with you during an assessment, if you have one. This will be very helpful when determining a diagnosis. As it’s very detailed and thorough.

Hopefully this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[kikimorart]

2, 8 and 10 for the character asks for Yagoda and Amanita if it's not too much. Also 20 if you have anything to share :D

it's never too much thank you for the questions! these are some very interesting ones :>

2. How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?) i prefer to redesign old characters rather than throw them away and make new ones, sooo technically most of my characters are pretty old - if we're counting from their earliest version then it would be about 6-8 years. BUT if we're counting from when i started working on my art project and taking their design more seriously - 6 months for yaga and around 11 months for amanita. their first designs weren't very region specific, mostly just going for a feeling.

^ first yagoda sheet from july 2024

^ first amanita sheet from december 2023

8. What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?

surprisingly not that much projecting (at least not as much projecting as there could be). originally, i wanted yagoda to be a more happy, innocent character, but i quickly realised that people who are happy with their lives don't abandon their homes and families to live in solitude. that's not to say she's mean and jaded now, i actually think that being emphatetic is a very core trait for her, but she's definitely more... reserved. having too much empathy might be why she prefers to keep relationships impersonal. as for amanita she was a bit of a struggle because i've changed her personality multiple times since at first i wasn't sure what her role should be. she started off as a bit of a sheltered and clumsy but well intentioned noblewoman, then she became more of a True Neutral character, and she even had a phase when she was lowkey a minor villain. she did end up being a positive character though. i'd say what defines her is her confidence: in her abilities, in her peers' judgement, that everything is going to go just fine. 10. What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one? this is genuinely such a hard question, i had to whip out my google docs for this lol (especially since i'm more of a visual storyteller). tbh it didnt end up even being an arc its more of a summary. so hard to write anything without giving everything away.

yaga's goal is to become a powerful wizard. she thought that a solitary life spent engrossed in scrolls and hunched over cauldrons would distance her from demons and (maybe more importantly) -man-made misery she thought she couldn't do anything about. there's only so much you can do by yourself in a small, small-minded village, so she set off to the residence of a famous sorceress. unfortunately, there was a rule - outsider women were to only be taught healing and basic divination. if one wanted to experience the full spectrum of magic, they had to join the mage's ranks - to which yaga unenthusiastically agreed. her arc has her start focused on her goal, but developed into realising it's only a temporary solution. also that people are a lot more valuable to her than she'd like to admit. amanita is a druid who has an interest in the flow of life, and by extention, death. at the beginning of the story, she's on her first big mission investigating rumors of a necromancer, dwelling near the previously mentioned sorceress' lands. druids know more than an average person about both the natural and supernatural, so amanita went into it with lots of confidence - even though the elders told her it won't be that easy. her arc would have her realise that, well, she might be strong but she can't do everything herself. to be honest, she's not best equipped to deal with the threat, even if she didn't know it. ironically a character who is the most equipped to deal with it is undead themselves so mushroom woman might have to swallow a little bit of humble pie

20. Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about taking my chance to say this bc it's not really that relevant and i might not get another chance buuuuut amanita has yellow hair and red eyes because i originally thought she would be some sort of personification of the fern flowers (they have yellow petals and a red center). but then she would either have to be evil or be witholding information on purpose... naturally when she left her villain arc this became obsolete i really liked the idea of someone secretly being a manifestation of those buggers though sooo i made a different character like that. not telling who tho lmao i'm not a snitch

[beerose-blog]

So, hello. I'm Bee. If you're one of my friends, you may recognize the title "Bee's Gradual Guide To Success". If you don't, it was actually the title of one of my personal "article series"/blogs that I made last November. I started it off with a lot of excitement, but I eventually got discouraged about myself and moved on, feeling so mortified about it that I wished I had never written it, even though my friends said it was really good. Here it is:

I think the funniest thing about this blog series is that it was all about being "real". You know, we live in a world where everything is completely over-saturated with success, and it's hard to find someone who will speak the truth about their experiences and failures. In the blog, I said and I quote:

"That’s actually the purpose of this blog/guide. First of all, I want to let the world know it’s OKAY to not know what you’re doing. Everyone, even the most successful people started from the very beginning. We live in a world that’s filled to the brim with the success stories of others- it can be overwhelming and make our own goals seem vast, intimidating, and unachievable."

Through my blog, I wanted to let everyone know that it was okay to have setbacks, that it was okay to fail at things; that all these obstacles would help us eventually succeed at whatever we wanted to do. And many people liked it. And then, do you know what happened?

I stopped writing it because I felt like a failure.

Now, let me tell you a little something about myself: I am the QUEEN of trying, failing, and giving up. I have had countless, countless career aspirations and dreams. I've wanted to be a business woman, running my own coffeeshop/bookstore called the CoZe Café. I've also wanted to be an artist who would sell commissions. For a very long time I also wanted to be an animator. I've had aspirations to run my own online shop with knitted and crocheted goods, I've wanted to be a seamstress, an accountant, the list goes on and on and on. It doesn't help, either, that I've got a cocktail of mental health diagnoses including bipolar 2 hypomania, which effectively makes me feel like a god that can achieve absolutely anything. But two times, so far, I've settled on novelist/editor.

Novelist/editor. What would it truly be like to live that dream? To work in some big publishing house, editing what could be the next famous author's story - making their dreams a reality, validating them. It sounds great! Right?

Well, I'm not quite at this point yet. In fact, about an hour ago, I was completely at my wit's end, even considering dropping my classes. You see, I'm an English major, working to get my Associate's degree at a Community College. The plan, currently, is to eventually get a PhD in English from Harvard. However that plan definitely seems far away considering this is my first semester and I'm already many, many assignments behind. It's week two, by the way.

Thus, once again, things become stagnant. I ask myself, "What do I do? How am I ever going to succeed? Am I just a failure like they all said I was?". And am I? It certainly seems so so far. But yet, someone told me I'm not.

This particular person told me exactly this:

"so i say, its not too late for you."

The "so i say" is in reference to the other part of the story he told me. He had spent his life working on various projects, writing and others, only to lose them all with the loss of his computer. So, he gave up. He worked, worked, and worked. He even said he was "Just a tired adult without hobbies". Until finally, he found a certain community, the same one where I met him. And through that community, he found friends and his love for writing once again. And he didn't give up. In fact, I'd even boldly claim to say he never gave up, as writing eventually DID come back to him.

So what about me? What should I do? Writing itself has been a theme all throughout my childhood, starting way back with my first attempted novel titled "Billy & Mandy" that I scrawled in a black composition notebook at age 8. It's always been present, coming back to me in bursts and staying longer each time. So what do I do now? Do I simply just "give up" on that dream?

And now, as you read, you may be wondering things. "What is the purpose of this? Isn't her blog called 'Bee's Gradual Guide To Success?' Where does success come in? What's happening? All she's talked about is her failures."

Or perhaps, you are just scrolling along, and clicked this by mistake. Or maybe your phone is in your pocket, and you've mistakenly buttdialed my tumblr account. Who knows! The world is full of endless possibilities!

However, if you are wondering what my purpose is by writing this, it's very simple:

There isn't any.

The only real purpose I have is personal; I am just trying to document my life, just in a public format.. Maybe, by sharing my story of success and failure, it will help you. Maybe you will continue to scroll. Either way, I will be here, posting. It makes me happy to do this, to document my story in vivid, painted detail. The idea excites me. And maybe someone out there will connect with my struggles, and find the courage to keep moving forward in the darkness, knowing there's someone out there just like them.

So I guess in that case I lied in a way, there is sort of a purpose. I mean, what did you expect? It is called "Bee's Gradual Guide To Success". And the main fact is, I have no idea what I'm doing.

So I wish you luck in your own journey, if you do end up seeing this - and maybe you'll find some of yourself in mine.

[bookdragonofsomekind]

******Manga-Monday 01******

Tokyo Ghoul Volume 01

Summary: 

Meet Ken Kaneki, a shy college student who loves to read. One day Ken’s dream finally comes true when a charming girl named Rize decides to go on a date with him. She seems to be the perfect girl for Kaneki. She even reads the same books as him! Even better she has the same favourite author! What could go wrong now? 

Happily ever after.

Unfortunately Rize is not a big fan of fairytales and seeks a different end for her date. 

Poor Kaneki.

Characters you will meet in this volume:

Ken Kaneki 

Hide 

Rize Kamishiro

Touka Kirishima

Dr. Kano 

Hisashi Ogura 

Yomo

Mr. Yoshimura  

Nishiki Nishio 

Quotes I particularly liked:

"I’m not the protagonist of a book or anything, I’m just a normal college student who likes to read, but if I were to write a book with me as the main character it would be a tragedy." - Kaneki 

"The bird struggles out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever would be born must first destroy a world." - Herrmann Hesse/ Kaneki 

"You are both ghoul and human at the same time. You are the only person who has a place in both worlds." - Mr. Yoshimura  

My thoughts:

What brought me to read Tokyo Ghoul in the first place was my boyfriend. You can absolutely blame him for this project. Tokyo Ghoul is one of his favourite manga series. 

You could say that I’m a fairly new beginner when it comes to manga and anime. I only started one and a half years ago with watching anime regularly and I think a year ago with reading manga. 

(You can also totally and absolutely blame my boyfriend for this)

So starting Tokyo Ghoul I’m not completely new to the premise of the story. My partner already told me a few things about the story and characters. 

Just a small disclaimer that I wanted to get out of the way.

So let’s start…

First things first Tokyo Ghoul is written and drawn by Sui Ishida and was published in 2011. I’ve gotta say I love the art style but also dislike it sometimes. Throughout the first chapters the illustrations are easy to follow and wonderful to look at. But when the action panels start it gets a bit tricky for me. That might be because I have little experience with manga of course. But I wish that he would have drawn some panels with a bit more clarity. 

Kaneki at first seems to be the typical side character even though he is absolutely the main character of this story. But with characteristics like being shy, reading a lot and having a non existing social life (except of course for Hide, his best friend) Kaneki would not have been my first pick as an interesting character. But what makes him interesting is his reaction of the tragedy that befalls his life. He keeps fighting with himself to accept what happened to him. Frankly he doesn’t really know what happened to him. But as he learns more about his new self and the world that changed before him he still is set on denying being a monster and separating himself from the "monsters" around him. He is and always will be human (we will see about that).

He is very strong willed. Which is not always a good thing. He’s also pretty good at talking himself into the depths of depression. 

It was a bit weird for me that he doesn’t tell anyone (not even his best friend) what happened in the alley with Rize. He keeps to himself. Tries to deal with it without help from the outside. He decides to be alone in this matter. 

Even when Hide tries to break through to him. Hide is the polar opposite from Kaneki, loud and he appears not to be the brightest. But as you read on you learn that that is definitely not the case. He notices a lot and he is a very capable people reader. He senses danger. (Something that Kaneki is not as good… unfortunately for him).

As Kaneki is being changed the world around him changes too. Or at least Kanekis perspective of it. Where in his eighteen years he never had an encounter with a single ghoul he now is trembling into them at every corner. 

And we quickly learn that not every ghoul is the same. I really liked Touka for example. She felt very real. She is someone who has a lot of anger inside of her. She implied many times throughout the volume that she didn’t have it easy in life. Being treated shitty from the human side as well as the ghoul side. By just confronting Kaneki how cake tastes or how easy it must be to eat all the time whenever you want. She is scarred from her life and knows the rules how to get by. 

On the other side we have ghouls like Nishiki to show the complete opposite. I’ve got the feeling that Nishiki is the "standard" ghoul in the story. By that I mean a cruel, asshole who doesn’t care about humans but is pretty good at disguising as one and being charming just to get what he wants. Manipulative, greedy and absolutely power hungry. As he doesn’t only treat Hide (kinda his prey) like absolute shit but also Kaneki (a ghoul just like him (who looks to be a bit inferior against Nishiki)). Not to mention the rivalry between ghouls which is portrayed in the territory fights we’ve seen in this volume. 

And then again we meet Touka's boss aka Mr. Yoshimura . He screams father figure to Touka and I could imagine that he will also be a great influence for Kaneki. He is just cozily nice (except for the human flesh in his fridge). He didn’t waste a minute to offer his help to poor Kaneki. And even after Kaneki doesn’t take his first "present" he still wants to help. Mr. Yoshimura  achieves something that didn’t happen before. 

Let me explain what I mean by that. I think and believe that so far Hide was the only good thing in Kanekis life. Of course Kaneki read or drew and found joy in that. But what I mean is that Hide was and is so far the only connection that Kaneki has to his "real" world. He goes out to dinner with or introduces other people to him. So of course Kaneki saw Hide as his only hope to ever live a normal life again after the incident with Rize. 

But Mr. Yoshimura  achieves to give Kaneki a sliver of hope to live a normal life again. And Kaneki, just by asking if he could work for him in his restaurant, takes it.

Not really a character but a thing that I really liked was when Kanekis ghoul side showed up! I really enjoyed the chaos that broke loose between Nishiki and Kaneki… and how Nishiki didn’t even have a chance. I will call it muscle memory from Rize and yes people could say that Kaneki is overpowered from the very beginning. Being good at fighting and all. But I like the fact that he just went feral and annihilated Nishiki (something he deserved). 

Minor characters like Dr. Kano appears to be pretty sus to me (Who transplants organs without permission ?!) just like Hisashi Ogura the ghoul expert (I’m still asking myself how he knows so much about ghouls). I think they will (and I hope, I want the answers!) appear again.

The world building so far is nothing to be mentioned that much. It’s the world we live in but with predators on top of the food chain that aren’t humans. The volume doesn’t explain too much what’s up with the ghouls but I’m fairly sure we will see more of it in future volumes. What we know so far is pretty dope! Ghouls don’t have a choice… they have to eat humans or else they will die. Their weapons seem to be their kagune, they have changing eyes, are kinda indestructible and then the usual heighten sense of smell, very strong and totally sassy. 

All in all it’s a good opening to a story and I’m definitely intrigued to read on. There are many questions still unanswered and I really really hope I will get them answered. 

Please leave your thoughts and be kind and don’t spoiler anything!

Thank you for taking your time!

Please feel free to discuss your thoughts, I would like to hear them!

I will see you in a week with a new volume!

[laeteria]

I saw this article on Oshi no Ko and I'm flabbergasted that no one is talking about it??? It was 5am in the morning, I opened my browser and I saw this article and the article chose violence. More under cut, because not only are they (unintentionally) disrespectful and because of spoilers, but also because they are mentioning kpop idols that have joined the stars a little sooner than expected.

Before I start, I'm a fan of Oshi no Ko. I wouldn't say that I'm following it religiously like some other things I do, so I'm definitely more of a casual fan. The reason I'm writing this is because I want to share my experience when I read these certain two paragraphs and what I thought when reading about them and why I think they could have written it better. I'm not a writer, so maybe I'm totally missing the point what they were going for, but alright. It's never wrong to share your experience and gain insight with the help of others.

There are several idol animes or idol media out there. All of them are different, or at least are trying their very best to leave a unique impression to the consumer. People who are familiar with them are often the ones who know that there are several series who are not a carbon copy of another series. The selling point is most of the time the music and characters and the people behind the series decide how much focus there will be on the music part or on the development of their characters. Nothing wrong with that, right? Some prefer to see more performances, while others prefer to explore the underlying problems their (favourite) character might go through.

As much as it kind of pains me as an IDOLiSH7 fan, for many it's Oshi no Ko that shows the dark side of this industry. Look. I'm a multimedia enjoyer and it always excites me to see people get into it, but then I saw this article and I was a bit… disheartened to say the least.

There are a few things that makes me feel a bit iffy in this paragraph. "… the narrative from exciting to bland in a heartbeat" was the point I raised an eyebrow. You see… apparently we only want to see the good part, so if it doesn't make you heart race like the first episode, it's considered to be boring? The first episode was phenomenal and I agree that it has set high expectations for the series, but you can't suddenly delve into the plot points without having a real base…? So, if they are losing fans in it's progress, it means they expected something else and might have thought that this might not be for them (at the moment because some do come back a few years later).

Another part that made me a bit uncomfortable, "over-glorified idol genre". Sorry, but I couldn't help but be reminded by that episode review of Technoroid that kinda described Technoroid as a hot mess. For some multimedia projects, an anime is a way to introduce the project. A way to sell their project to you. I wrote a little more about it here, but anyway, I don't think multimedia/idol media enjoyer appreciate that word choice since the genre isn't actually that big compared to other genres. Maybe it comes a bit as a shock to you, but as consumers of the media, we definitely know that some anime adaptations are bad. We know. We already don't get a lot (especially as overseas fans), so why complain when you can enjoy it? You can definitely write about your experience online, even if if it's a bad one. It becomes a problem when you are disrespectful though...

The point that made me think if it was really needed to mention it, was the point they started to list idols that have joined the stars a little sooner than expected. I'm not into kpop too much, but my sister is and I know how the news of these idols came as a shock to her. I'm not saying you can't write about them, but it's more the tone that hits me wrong. It's as if I'm talking with someone who is down talking on your interests, while you know that these people working on it are doing their best and that they are doing more harm than good. They could have worded it in a more respectful manner instead of using their names sarcastically in a sentence to prove a point, especially since the news of Moonbin is still recent.

This was also the point that made me think that some people the idol genre needs to address the issues in the industry rather than making it all colourful and that's where the i7 fans come around the corner. Oshi no Ko is great, but for many i7 enjoyers, it feels as if the world considers Oshi no Ko is the first idol anime that addresses these points. Don't get me wrong, I can speak for many that they are glad that people are enjoying it and that they might broaden their horizon with more idol media after Oshi no Ko, but I just want to say that IDOLiSH7 also has darker topics but people refuse to watch it since it looks more like your generic idol media.

By the way, the part that says they would benefit more from the reincarnation point made me laugh. As if we didn't get enough series surrounded around that. Once again, you have certain elements/themes in a series and the creator decides how much of each gets highlighted in the media. It's kinda weird to me that the idol genre is over-glorified, but the reincarnation trope not. It's just that the focus isn't the reincarnation aspect, but the industry as a whole (at least currently).

This also kinda applies to my next point: I can't really remember the show promoting itself as an idol exclusive show. Like I genuinely can't remember them putting the emphasis on the idol aspect. I feel like it's more about the entertainment industry than the idol industry only? People might have missed the point since they surely did show idol footages, but if you watch the first episode, than you will see that we kinda go quickly over Ai's idol activities because it's more about her than the idol aspect. How do I word this better… Let's say that Ai is a prominent figure in the show, even though she doesn't make it at the end of episode 1, of course people will know her. The thing about Ai is that Ai is shown as an idol. Ai and the word idol just come hand in hand and people see that and assume it's only about that despite the fact that Aqua and Ruby got a good chunk of the episode (if not the whole episode basically). They have to make you think it's about these happy colourful idols, so you can fall right into their sweet "shock value" trap.

When I was reading the article, Idolm@/ster came up to me. For your information, I don't know anything about im@/s, but the project by its name. It's probably because they wrote about idols not having a hard time and I know that people write about im@/s as being wholesome and being a fresh breath of air in all these current trends of the more serious and darker toned multimedia projects… but then there are people who write about the im@/s characters and what they are going through and that's when I'm wondering what im@/s truly is. Im@/s fans are built differently I think. That's not the point I wanted to talk about, but the last sentence of the paragraph in the image above was a bit unneeded, don't you agree? It sounds a bit mockingly to me, but I'm not sure…

Anyway, this was what I thought while reading that article. If you think differently, please share your experience in a respectful manner. If I offended you in any way, please let me know so I am aware of it next time 🙏

[lavendertune]

Part 2! 19. I don’t think I ever really “started”, I’ve always been writing. For as long as I can remember I came up with stories, even in elementary school I already wrote short stories and poems. It accompanied me throughout my teens, morphing from fairy-tales to poems, song texts and short stories until I finally arrived at novels. At some point I switched to writing in English which also allowed me to deepen my knowledge and skill of the language. I went through a lot of bad times and a very hard depression which hindered my writing but luckily bounced back, even though I regularly get writing blockades. I guess it is because ever since I was a kid I lived in my own little imaginary world, thinking of wonders and universes that don’t exist and put them to paper. I love creating worlds and historic timelines, thinking of “what-ifs” and fleshing out characters. It is my way to escape reality an unwind and if I could I’d do little else. At the moment I am hoping to finish a side-project which developed a mind of its own to return to my original plan : Writing my four-part modern fantasy novels and publish them. I don’t expect to become a world-renowned author but I’ve seen the holes the modern fantasy genre has and wish to fill those, giving the people something new and exciting to read which is both, fantastic and realistic.

20. Oh please, what kind of question is that? Of course I’d take the WIP ! Okay, I may be cheating a little because as a polyamorous person I don’t believe in the one true love BUT – Love comes in many forms and goes as it pleases. Finishing my writing is a damn lot of work and there are so many factors who could ruin my progress or perhaps even hinder me from ever finishing it. So yes, fuck love, let me finish my damn book!

21. Definitely not. Like I said earlier, writing is my way to escape. It allows me to unwind and express myself. I let my own experiences influence my writing a lot and I do process my real-world problems in the same way. I couldn’t live without writing.

22. You should have heard the ugly laugh I just let out- No, there’s no organization. I may be very organized in my day-to-day life but hells, my writing is a mess. I do like to write rough overviews of my characters or the vague storyline with major plotpoints, but the rest is up to the gods. I just sit down and write. I don’t plan my chapters beforehand. It’s strange but it feels wrong? I don’t really know how to describe it but it feels like my characters have a mind of their own and I’m simply a tool to tell their story. They choose their own way to a point where I myself am sometimes surprised at how a story I had in my head suddenly took a turn I hadn’t planned.

23. As said in question 3 I typically write in my little oriel in my living room. A big round rattan chair in cream-colours is sitting in its right corner, in the window above it a hand-woven ring with a pentagram wrapped above it with a pink ribbon. The windowsills are lined with old books about herbology, paganism and craftmanship, between them old animal bones and little animals made of wood. In front of the chair stands a little antique desk made of red wood, on it some more bones, a wooden bowl filled with dried flowers, a hunting knife with an antler handle and a little lantern. Big candles are standing wherever there is space, softly flickering and filling the oriel with a warm and comforting light.

24. Even though my story planning is lacking I tend to do a massive amount of research for my stories. For example, the novels I have planned are set in the real world and the story will take my main character across the world, so naturally I had to do a lot of research about the countries, their culture, beliefs, history, etc. All my “magical” societies are based on real myths and stories from all over the globe. I am currently writing an entire book *just* for the mythical creatures that will appear in the novels and fleshed out a whole new system of magical abilities just for my story. I think that more or less paints a picture of how much I love research.

25. Ma’lo, my hero, chews on the inside of his cheek when he’s nervous or embarrassed. The reader knows that because I tend to describe every little detail, but it doesn’t change a bit of the story. It’s just a habit he has picked up along the way.

26. I believe myself to be a really empathic person so I have little trouble getting into my characters. Being open-minded and willing to see the world from different perspectives I am able to feel with my characters, even my villains. At the same time I am able to separate their mindset from my own so I never suffer after-effects or the likes of it after thinking myself into the position of a certain character.

27. Oh, that must have been Mammon. It was a demon in one of my earliest stories who got stuck in the body of my main character and tended to randomly take control of her. Mammon was a being of absolute chaos and wrecked every situation which made them both, terribly complicated but hilarious to write.

28. I haven’t written much of her yet but that is Daline. She is an elven princess and daughter of King Lothair who reigns over the kingdom of Kordtwall in the Black Forest. Daline is an absolute sweetheart and a truly gentle soul. She meets everybody with an open heart and never looks away from suffering, facing it head on and standing up for others in need.

29. I draw my inspiration from the world around me. The changing of the seasons, the stormy winds rattling the trees, the sunsets above the houses and the wide fields of nature. Should my inspiration run out I go for walks, typically towards a body of water. Music and watching a movie/series also helps.

30. I typically don’t dream in my sleep. Either that or I don’t remember. There have been instances where I remembered but those were these vivid dreams you have when you take another nap after waking up and they’re usually quite strange. So no, I don’t use that material.

31. "My dearest, know the joy you bring with every word ushered my way. Know, that it is you who shy away the clouds and the shadows holding my hands captive. Know, that it is you who give me the flame to thaw my frozen fingers, who inspires me and drives me forward. It is your joy and your excitement that ignites my soul. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. For it is you, who I hold dear."

32. Sweet hells, why would you ask me a question like this? I have no clue man, I can’t even remember what I ate yesterday.

33. If I find the time, yes! I’m very sporadic with my hobbies, but they include : Drawing, painting, crafting, cosplay, playing guitar, video editing and making candles!

34. No.

35. “There is no whispered, mumbled or laughed. Just write ‘said’ , anything else confuses the reader.” No, fuck you. “He said” and “says…” is the blandest, barren and dullest way to write a conversation. It is SO important to describe how a character speaks, which word they emphasize and where they voice cracks or gets stronger. It gives the characters life and allows the reader to understand the character’s emotional state.

36. Nothing. There is so much to learn, so much to see, so much to hear. The knowledge of this world is so vast an eternity wouldn’t suffice to soak it all up. What I know is naught compared to the endlessness of the universe and the secrets it holds.

37. That I was a crazed monsterfucker and I’d proudly stand by that accusation.

38. I typically drink mead when I write. It allows me to concentrate and somehow betters my writing flow.

39. Spite. Joking, aha. It’s the will to reach the end. When I start writing I always have the ending in my head already. I’m literally looking forward to it with every word that I write, pushing towards the end with all my might. It’s the need to see this through together with my characters to finish their story.

40. “From time to time  The clouds give rest  To the moon-beholders.”

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to ��kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[kittynugg]

(Reads your post about eventually answering your asks)

(Thinks "Hmmm...Wouldn't it be funny if I sent even more asks >:)?")

Anywayyy, I've begun making a sorta plan for the Museum of Oddology, but there are a few things that are kinda blocking me;;;

1. How big exactly is the Museum? I've thought of it as a small but still decent sized museum, like, they aren't the most well funded, but they still have enough for 5 to 10 small or medium exhibits (with maybe one big one as la pièce maîtresse) (+ the petting zoo + the cafe)

I thought that the building might be 2 stories tall (like Ground floor + 1st floor) with a basement for things too dangerous so they can contain them/store them somewhere, but I wanted to know your thoughts

2. Also;;; what kind of artifacts do they expose? I've found a few resource about how to model an exhibit and now I'm wondering what exactly they're showing so that I can make an accurate plan of the exhibits. Like, I guess crystals, cursed/magical artifacts (maybe the cursed ones are in the basement I dunno), flora, paintings/statues showing different aspects of the woods/anomalies, some interactive educative activities, but I don't know what else

Ohhhh, I guess there could also be anomalies (the ones that speak English) who could have dedicated exhibits where they talk about themselves and their community??

i figure while im answering asks i'll finally get to this because the aabw au doesnt deserve to die

okay so i'd think it has three floors (including the basement here), there might be some exhibits on the roof like cool plants that need natural sunlight? your thoughts on the general size is perfect i think though

and you're right about all the cursed/dangerous shit being in the basement, that's blocked off from tourists (actually was stan's idea, ford wants to show everyone the gremloblin but stan remembers his first encounter with it without a lot of cryptid experience and still has nightmares about that shit) but if you're a regular and really good with the other cryptids you get special exclusive access to the basement with either ford or dipper's guidance (dipper and mabel would end up becoming like. accidental employees at the museum it isnt like canon where stan makes them work there, they just come along a lot and when they eventually start getting good at helping out mabel runs a lil arts and crafts booth while dipper gives tours stan and ford just start quietly slipping them money for it its some under the table shit)

they'd probably show off in the main area (so like. first floor, not behind any doors) more innocent shit, and unharmful cryptids are just like. they just walk around among the humans like the less bitey gnomes, you'll see some category 1 ghosts at night if you look for them, innocent shit that wont traumatize a five-year-old

as for specific items eeeeuuuhhhhhh

small, non-toxic plants (ford taste-tests everything that doesnt smell like battery acid. the sound of ambulance sirens gets stuck in his head like a song might), little crystals and artifacts (like the height-altering crystals, definitely those since they're abundant and relatively easy to find)

certain harmless anomalies are locked up purely because they're annoying. like the unicorns kept gossiping about ford changing his hairstyle once so now they're in a soundproof enclosure that can OPTIONALLY be . not soundproof

anyway thats all because if i keep adding to this i'll never be able to finish hvhgfkgkgkfhbhfkguhf i also have four writing projects to work on and a fifth gestating so. you guys are either gonna eat soon or starve ig

[northern-passage]

honestly same...I also only stick to reading the same ifs I've been reading since like 2 years ago + as a disabled lgbt person this community has gotten to toxic to interact wth tbh

hmmm putting this under a read more but here's some ramblings about my personal experience as well as some advice if anyone wants it

before i started writing tnp, when i was just a reader, it was very easy to curate my space and avoid a lot of the nastier people (especially back when the forums were the main space for people to talk about IF. i didn't go on the forums at all) and i was very much outside of the fandom and followed only like one artist whose recommendations i started off with before finding more stuff on my own.

once i became an author though it is impossible to avoid certain groups of people and it's really hard to hold on to that comfortable space. over the last like 3 years now my audience has definitely changed and dwindled a lot due to my.... Big personality but before that i had to endure a lot of harassment, people stalking me, people harassing my friends just for being my friend, almost constant transphobia and racism, and even now i still have people that seem to just camp in my inbox waiting for any opportunity to try and hurt me/get a reaction out of me.

i've been pretty open about all of this stuff happening too which most people also don't like, though that seems to be pretty standard across any fandom when you try to talk about how bad they are. i'm never really surprised when other authors delete without any warning or they just slowly stop posting and never come back. it's definitely something i've wanted to do more than once and still think about sometimes. even now after finally seeming to find my "niche" and a more understanding audience, it's really hard and i struggle with finding inspiration and motivation because of how people have treated me.

unfortunately i think it's always been this way, it's the nature of sharing work online and especially with IF feeling so "collaborative" people really feel entitled to it. and i also see readers facing this same kind of harassment, too, so it's definitely not just an author problem.

my advice is to just block and ignore people as best you can and just stay in your own little bubble with your friends or at least people that you trust. if you're an author going through any of the things i mentioned then just know there are a lot of other authors that have had to go through it, too, and that you should also just block and ignore to the best of your ability. just because you're an author doesn't mean you have to tolerate it. i used to respond to a lot of messages which is why i feel that a lot of my harassment lasted for so long, because they thought it was "funny" to upset me, but the more you respond and give them attention the more they'll keep doing it. so just block anons and move on (i know i make it sound so simple. trust me i used to be really bad about it, now i try to take at least a day or two before responding and usually by that time i realize how stupid it is and i just delete it without any fanfare)

at the end of the day though it's your decision, and your well-being comes first before anything else. i say this to both authors and readers, there's no reason to force yourself to stay in a place that makes you uncomfortable or is triggering. sometimes it's better to just let go and move on, though i know that's easier said than done. i'm a prime example as someone who still logs into tumblr daily despite trying really hard not to do that.

and i'm not saying to give up on your work, but rather that writing privately is always an option, and it's what i've been doing now with my other projects ever since i took siren's call down. i know the desire for outside validation can be overwhelming but i think it's important to remember that you should be writing this for yourself first and that there's no harm in keeping your work private until you're ready. tumblr is fun but there's also a lot of problems that can be difficult to deal with while you're also trying to keep motivation and creativity up to write your story, and it can be really discouraging.

like i said, your first priority should be yourself, and if you have to step back away from tumblr/fandom then you should & you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

all of that to say that there are nice people out there, too, i've made really good friends here and i really value their friendship and their understanding, especially when i was going through the worst of it. and there are a lot of readers who have been very kind to me and that have sent me very nice messages and drawn lovely art over the years and i always try to focus on that over everything else.

it can be really easy to get overwhelmed by all the negativity and hostility which is why it's so important to find your people and be supportive of each other.

[demoniccaterpillar]

One of my goals for the coming year is to share more of what the spirits teach me, so I've decided to start making regular blog posts. I'm working on a couple in-depth posts related to Divinity work, but for now I'm just answering spirit worker asks from the list I posted before, since I want to start a habit of writing.

38. Are you able to astral travel or journey into spirit worlds?

Yes, though I'm far from an expert on astral travel. I used to be convinced my focus wasn't good enough to astral project, but Azazel told me that was ridiculous and ended up basically yeeting me into the astral without warning to prove it was possible to me, lol. After that, he taught me a visualization to take me into one of his astral realms, and at this point I can access the astral reliably. I still don't know most advanced types of astral work or how to navigate the astral realms by myself, though.

57. Have you ever channeled, or let spirits into your body?

Yes on both. I used to find the idea of letting spirits possess me terrifying, but that's another thing Azazel changed my mind about. He showed me that sharing consciousness with a trusted Divine Spirit is actually a wonderful experience, and also a great way to give them something they value in return for all they give me. It's definitely something you should only do with Divine Spirits you deeply trust, since you may not be able to control them once they're connected, but it's not frightening with the right spirit, and being trained to do this has let Azazel take over and handle a couple of situations I couldn't cope with, which is extremely helpful.

I've also turned out to have a talent for channeling, which is good since basing my practice in unrecorded Dionysian traditions means I have to channel a ton of information for myself. The spirits call the main channeling method I use "liminal channeling" and I do it by going into a flow state, which I learned to do for creative projects a long time ago (and something other spirit workers might want to Google, since there's a lot of information available on flow states and I've found them very useful in spirit work). Once I'm in the flow state, one of the Divinities will share consciousness with me, and from there write through me. Being in a flow state instead of a deeper trance lets the Divine Spirits make use of my English skills and get my input as they're writing, which is much better than having to ask for clarification later. Liminal channeling also has a big advantage over a lot of other methods because it's "energy positive", meaning I receive more energy from the Divinities I'm working with than I expend, so I can do it for a long time and get very detailed messages without feeling drained.

I also can channel by using my natural clairaudience to be a "Divine transcriptionist", and just type whatever I'm hearing. This is an easy way to get short messages, but doesn't tend to work for long ones, because most Divinities mix non-words in with their clairaudience to some degree (telepathic thoughts or feelings or images), and most of them go way too fast to keep up with typing.

36. What words of advice do you have for people interested in getting into spirit work?

Focus on psychic development first and foremost. There's no way you can become an advanced spirit worker unless you can interact with spirits easily, so there's no point in worrying about any of the advanced subjects until you've learned how to communicate easily and reliably with whatever types of spirits you want to work with.

Treat ancient texts and other sources claiming to be authoritative with at least as much scrutiny and doubt as you would a random Reddit or Tumblr post. Always remember that the vast majority of ancient texts have unknown authors, and for all you know you're reading the ramblings of some ancient dude who was high off his ass on mushrooms and thought his donkey was sharing the words of a god with him. Even the best ancient spiritual texts are full of political and cultural influences modern people have no way of fully understanding, and they've also passed through layers of translators, each of whom also had their own agenda and made their own mistakes. So yeah, just because a text is old doesn't mean it's right, nor is it automatically more valuable than UPG shared on Tumblr yesterday.

Ignore anyone telling you they know the One Right Way to do spirit work, or have the ONLY correct method. There's no method that works for everyone and there isn't a single right way to interact with spirits either. Anyone who doesn't know there's more than one right way to be a spirit worker probably doesn't know the first thing about spirit work or mysticism in general.

Never trust mortals to be your main guides in spirit work. Of course it's nice to get help from each other, but you need to have spirits be your primary guides to spirit work. Other mortals can point you in the right direction, but in the end this is a path each of us walks with our own spirits in our own way. If you're not comfortable working alone and relying on your own judgement, you need to think hard about whether advanced spirit work is the best spiritual path for you, because past a certain point you will be working completely alone and having experiences only the spirits can understand and share in.

On a related note, make sure you're clear in your own head about why you're choosing to become a spirit worker. These reasons will end up determining your best path and approach, and if you don't know what you want to get out of spirit work, you're at serious risk of making choices that either block you from reaching your goals or put you somewhere you never wanted to be. For example, when I told Azazel what my goals for spirit work were, he told me I needed to choose an initiatory path because I'd never get certain things I wanted otherwise. If I hadn't been clear about my goals, I could've ended up in a practice that never led where I wanted. On the other hand, I wouldn't want anyone to choose an intense mystical practice like mine because they think it's the only way to become a spirit worker. You don't have to be an Occultist seeking mystical initiation to work with spirits, or even demons, so it's important to be clear with yourself and also with the spirits guiding you about your ultimate goals.

Finally, it's okay to have no idea what path is right for you in the beginning, and also okay to change your mind later. I certainly didn't start out as a Dionysian Demonolator, and if you'd told me even ten years ago that I would end up here, I'd have called you crazy (because at that point I was scared of the madness aspect of Dionysus and didn't work with Abrahamic Divinities). It's okay to change your mind and let go of beliefs.

[finelinevogue]

could you do some angsty smut please??

oh hell yeah we can. this is going to be 70srockstar!harry with roadie!y/n eekkkk! okay have fun;

Being the girlfriend of the most famous, golden boy rockstar was the craziest rollercoaster you’d ever ride.

For the past 6 months you’ve been touring with the one and only Harry Styles, living your life between helping on tour, drinking endless amounts of wine and smoking a hell of a lot of weed. The job had come past you at the perfect moment. Your dad happened to be best friends with the tour manager, Jeff Azoff, who’d spoken of their being a job opening for a roadie. You were employed to help set up the musical equipment and test out the instruments before the act went on at night, falling in love for the man you roadied for was just an add on. A beautiful bonus.

It was a lot more pressure being Harry’s girlfriend than people thought though. There was so much pressure to act a certain way and present yourself another way. Harry was so idolised and craved by millions and it put pressure on you to be a certain person for him. You loved him so much and you were so scared that he might one day realise that there was so much better than you - at least in your eyes. Someone extroverted. Someone musically talented. Someone who wasn’t a virgin.

Harry had never pressured you into anything sexual unless you were ready. Of course he was notorious for being an above star rating, when it came fo sex - thanks to all the articles published by the many men and women, sometimes both together, he had slept with. The sex reputation went hand-in-hand with his rock-n-roll aesthetic, so that part of him would never change. You’d only been with Harry for 4 of those 6 months, managing to fall for him very quickly, so you wondered just how he was coping without having had sex for that long. He usually had a different person each night to take backstage after his concert to play with how he wanted, hence how he built his reputation, but since you there had been no one.

Sex was such a big thing for Harry though, so you couldn’t help but feel like you were letting him down.

Currently, you were sat on his bed on the tour bus reading an article that had been published about your boyfriend last week. Your heart strings tugged as you read one section of the interview.

Interviewer: The new album, tell me about it.

Harry: It’s coming on slowly yeah. Just want this one to be perfect so, taking my time.

Interviewer: What would you say your biggest inspiration is for writing?

Harry: Changed on every project, to be honest man. Sometimes it’s about past relationships. Sometimes it’s about issues i’m going through. A lot of the time it’s about sex!

Interviewer: Yeah, dude, I have noticed that like every other song is about sex. Is that something you’re quite open about?

Harry: I think sex can be either something so beautiful or so passionate. Don’t believe in sad sex! But, um, yeah i’m always really honest lyrically when it comes to the songs about sex and I hope others see it as that too.

Interviewer: No it definitely does! Thanks Harry for your time and, um, keep on having sex so that third album breaks even more records!

Harry: Will do man!

It was easy to understand why you were upset. Harry’s biggest inspiration wasn’t possible for this album, because you were too nervous to let him have you. All of you. You felt a burden, as if you were holding him back from living his life and creating something so amazing. His past two albums had been such hits for songs such as ‘She’ and ‘Only Angel’, which were inspired by the intimate times with past lovers. There would only be sad songs if he wrote an album without any spice.

That’s why as soon as Harry came back on the bus, dressed in shorts and a shirt that was unbuttoned to see his toned chest, you jumped him and kissed him like your life depended on him. He was taken back by surprise, but welcomed your lips nevertheless.

Pulling back he mumbled some words against your lips, “Well this is a nice welcome back gift.” He chuckled at the eagerness of your lips and let his hands roam over your body - from your neck to your waist and over your ass. This man knew what he was doing.

“Harry?” You whispered, stopping your kiss and looking at his beautiful swollen red lips. He was a sight for sore eyes.

“Yeah baby?” He kept himself close to you and you could feel the stiffie that he’d developed pressing against your front.

“Can we… I’m.. If you…”

“What baby? Can tell me anything, y’know that.”

“Wanna have sex with you.” You told him the most simple virgin way ever, your face heating up when you saw him smirking down at you. You’d screwed yourself over here and were getting all shy and embarrassed about it.

“Hey, no. Don’t hide from me,” He drew your face back to his and kept his eyes on yours to provide you some familiar comfort, “you sure?”

“Mhm, yes.” You nodded affirmatively.

“It might hurt a little, okay? First time means that your cute little pussy is going to be really tight. Don’t even know whether you’ll be able to take me.” He taunted you, cupping his hands to your cheeks and brushing his thumbs carefully over your skin to ease your tension.

“I w-will.” You moused out, wanting to be this person for him.

“‘Course you can. You’re my best girl and I know you’ll fit perfectly for me, yeah?” He rhetorically asked pushing you back to the bed and letting you flop there. You watched him as he discarded his clothes, following his lead, until you were both naked in front of each other. You’d been this far before, but this time it felt different. It felt more lustful and exposed and nerve-wracking.

Harry bent down and started to kiss you from your belly upwards, leaving kisses everywhere until he reached your jaw where he bit more than he kisses. He loved seeing his marks being left behind on your skin, proving to everyone that you were his and his alone. His hands found comfort ins kneading and squeezing your breasts like dough, loving the way they were so soft and yet so hard beneath his warm hands. As he found your lips and divulged in your sweet tastes, you slunk your hand down and grabbed ahold of his cock, pumping him a few times to get him primed. You felt the trickles of pre-cum drip from his tip and it only excited you even more.

Taking your lead, Harry pushed one of his hands in between your bodies and started playing with your wet cunt, paying extra attention to your needy clit. He knew you loved it when his fingers got rough, so that’s exactly how he played. His tongue was battling against yours, whilst you both stimulated pleasure to one another. The wet and beautiful sounds filled the room, heightening your arousal - Harry could feel it too, his fingers becoming wetter with every circle and pump of his fingers.

“You ready, baby?” He asked carefully, plucking his lips away from yours with a wet sounding smack. You already looked fucked out and he had barely done anything to you yet.

“Y-yes.” You stumbled, so excited yet so nervous. You were finally going to give Harry what he had been missing for so long and you were also going to let yourself go, and divulge in something new and potentially life-changing.

He leant back and rubbed his own cock for a few strokes, before lining the tip of it with your opening. He teased your entrance, making you bite your lip in anticipation. He smiled down at you and mouthed the words ‘I love you’ without any sounds leaving his lips, before you did the same. The head of his cock started to push in, but you didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did.

“Shit fuck, y’so tight baby. Need you to relax for me, okay?” He asked, pulling away so he could watch your body relax. You closed your eyes and took a deep breathe, reminding yourself that the best way to relax is not to think about the problem itself but oh how you’d feel when the problem’s fixed. You smiled and once Harry could see your shoulders un-tense, he, once again, pushed his cock into your opening. He hissed at the contact, obviously finding it so pleasurable even if it was only minimal contact, but you, you felt so much pain and soreness from absolutely nothing.

You couldn’t do this.

“It should just…” Harry tried a different angle, but your smile had disappeared and your whole range of emotions had resumed to flat and disappointed in yourself. “Maybe if I just..” Harry tried to hold your legs a little wider and guide his cock more firmly into your opening, but each time he couldn’t push past a certain point without your body rejecting him or your facial expressions telling him he should stop.

“St-stop Harry please.” You cried, bringing your hands up to cover your face as you let the tears flow freely. “Please stop.”

“O-okay. Just gonna…” And he slid out as much as he’d managed to get in, which was probably less than an inch. It hurt when he pulled away and your cunt felt like it was on fire. It stung and it didn’t feel right. You felt like a failure and an embarrassment.

You cried into your arms, letting harsh sobs take over your body. You chest felt tight and your eyes stung worse than your cunt did. God, you couldn’t even do one thing for him. You were the reason why he was having a hard time writing at the moment. You were the reason people would be disappointed to hear no sex inspired songs on the album. He might even have to use past experiences as inspiration, which made your heart curl with jealousy. You didn’t feel like you were enough for him, like you would ever be enough for him.

“I’m so sorry Harry,” You sat up from the bed, not wanting to look at him and his disappointed expression as he stay knelt on the bed - cock looking painfully hard still. You scrambled for your t-shirt and your joggers and then walked out of the room, across the bus’ narrow corridor, and into the bathroom.

You looked at yourself in then mirror and were disappointed at what, or who, you saw. Looking back at you was the person who couldn’t even have sex. You couldn’t give Harry what he deserved. You were a failure and it was stamped all over your body. You cried as you looked at yourself, until you couldn’t and you just slid down the wall and onto the floor. You wished for the Earth to just swallow you whole. You couldn’t stand being here when you were clearly broken and useless.

Harry would surely leave you for this. Why would he want to stay with someone who couldn’t even get their boyfriends dick in their pussy? Couldn’t give each other that pleasure? Harry had so many people in the past and surely with you gone he’d have so many people in the future. It would be selfish of you to stay. Harry had needs you completely appreciated that, but it would be just so difficult to let him go when he means so much to you.

There was a quiet knock at the door, which broke you from your cries and self-deprecating. “Y/N? Baby honey? Can I come in, please?”

“S-sorry. Yes of c-course.” You stood up quickly, thinking that he was wanting to be let in to go to the toilet or to have a cold shower go get rid of the hard-on that you’d put there. Too bad you couldn’t have taken it away.

You unlocked the door and shuffled past him, only for him to stop you. He shut the bathroom door behind him, leaving you both infinitely pressed together in the pathway on the bus. He had you pressed you up against the side of the wall and kept his arms at either side of you.

“Sweets—”

“Harry, please don’t say anything. I-I know what you’re thinking and—”

“Yeah? And what am I thinking?” He asked, not moving away from you. You held your cries the best you could and took a deep breathe to continue.

“I’m a disappointment. I-I i’m not good enough. I’m broken.” You choked out, knocking your head back against the wall from frustration.

“Stop it.” Harry ordered firmly, gripping your cheeks in his hands and forcing you to look at him. The look in his eyes was so hard to read, but he looked desperate and worried and hurt. You hated to think that you were the cause of any of those emotions. “Just stop.” Harry’s own eyes were starting to fill with tears too and you brought your own hand up to catch a few of them before they could fall.

“Don’t cry, please.” You begged, keeping your hand pressed to his cheek which he absolutely adored. He loved the feeling of your skin against his. He never wanted to not have it.

“Then don’t say things that hurt me, okay? Hearing you say those things about yourself absolutely breaks m’heart flower. Just because you were a bit too tight to take me today does not mean that you’re a disappointment or you’re a failure or that you’re not good enough. It hurts to think that you’d ever think I would think that, because - fuck -,” Harry pressed his forehead tight against yours and fanned his lips lips over yours. His closeness was everything. “I love you so much it scares me. My feelings for you are so strong and so real. I want your forever and something as trivial as sex is never going to make me want otherwise. Do you get that?”

“B-but the album?” You asked.

“What about the album?”

“I-in the recent magazine interview you said that sex is your biggest i-inspiration. I can’t be that for you.”

“Is that what this is all about? Because you think that my album isn’t coming together because i’m not having sex? Did you miss the part where I said I wanted this one to be perfect and I was taking m’time with it?”

“No.”

“Well I did say that, because it’s for you baby. The whole thing is going to be for you. Every melody. Every lyric. Every song. Just and all for you.” Both of you were silently crying now, absorbed in each others love and adoration for one another.

“I-I didn’t know.”

“Now you do. This album isn’t really for the charts or the awards. It’s for you, m’heart. I love you for a lot more than your body and its’ pleasures.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, taking all his words in and realising how irrationally you’d acted out afterwards.

“For what, sweetheart?”

“For even thinking that you’d be so shallow and cold-hearted.”

“You didn’t think that though, baby. I know you and so I know you didn’t. Your thoughts were based around your own insecurities, not to do with your small-thinking over me.” He explained to you, making you nod and kick your lips.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Well then we don’t deserve each other.”

“But i’ll keep you forever if you’d let me.”

“Looks like we’re together forever then, baby honey.”

[captnjacksparrow]

Hi! How has your fandom experience been so far? Do you ever feel burnt out?

Naruto Fandom as a whole = Tear-Wiping & Woobification of their Favourites by shamelessly blame Shifting, Projecting non-existent Mental Illness and Romantic feelings, Playing Pain Olympics, Victimizing their fav while Antagonizing other sub-fandom. 

[ **Am sorry, Every character tags, I go into tumblr, they play this PTSD card and absolve their shittiness which is totally stupid.. when In Canon none of the characters display such symptoms for a prolonged period** ]

However, I found the right people from the other sub-fandom who don't spoon-feed & apologize for their favs and simply Call A Spade, A Spade. They adhere to canon and stick to the facts. So, it makes this place nice.

As for SNS Fandom - Extremely One-Sided (Sasuke-sided), Boring, Dull, Unfunny, Passive - Aggressive, Back-Bitching and Homogeneous Wannabe ((Meaning: If you don’t agree with the majority... then you are bullied))

Howwwweverrrrrrr

.

.

That's not the only impression I have though. Atleast personally.

My time for the 1 whole year I’ve spent in this SNS Fandom is majorly (98%) AWESOME, felt Blessed. Majorly due to the Anons who send me asks.

The Type of Asks I am receiving will never cease to amuse me. Not gonna lie, more than writing an answer, I always enjoy reading Anon Asks. Some of the asks, I don’t even want to let them leave my Inbox, I want to keep it forever, cradling like a baby. LOL... Some of the Asks, I feel like "Anon, You really should post this in your own blog and I want to reblog it.. Damn Good!!!"

So, I'll just attach something memorable.

THE FIRST ASK.  Everything started from here.....

My very first Ask. 

I don't know why that Anon decided to send me an ask... Considering, I only made one post before... But I still treasure that one. Also, it’s very hilarious that I genuinely thought Kishimoto made NH because Hinata was popular. Also, I thought those wedding episodes were drawn by Kishimoto. LOL. Coz, I didn’t finish reading the manga at that time.

So, A Big Thanks for that Anon... 

ANONS BE - FUNNY AF...... LMAO

And then Some Anons are Extremely funny... Like Mad funny to the point of making me smile in places where I shouldn’t be... I am a person who adores people with great sense of humour... I easily become friends with them if they keep on cracking jokes....

Poor Anon... I always headcanon myself to offer my Winter Jacket to this poor soul if they ended up watching that Movie...

“GTFO you fangirl cringe-fest” == LMAO. 

This Anon has an amazing Dark Humour... Like, Every sentence was a peak comedy... “Maybe Quickly tie the rods with a strong thread then run off and have some friends trying pull out” --- I remember I was attending a meeting in my workplace and suddenly I couldn’t help but giggle thinking about this line... then my Team Lead was remarking that, “It seems someone is in Crush”.... LOL... How do I tell them that I was really smiling at this one???? [[Anon, If you are reading this, you definitely should write a Dark Comedy or Gag fic for SNS... I stan Gag materials...]]

The Anon was talking about SS Vs NH war in twitter during that Sasuke Retsuden Manga illustration news broke out. LOL... “Fat Priests”

“Look, Kishimoto could have claimed in an interview that Kiba was secretly the reincarnation of the Sage of the Six Paths and it would have meant Jackshit...”

I don’t know what this Anon has against Kiba.... But it’s just hilarious af.

Here’s the thing.. Even if you, readers, don’t agree with what I write, atleast you could try reading the Anons question which would definitely ease off your mind for sure. 

ANONS BE - EXTREMELY OBSERVANT

If Hilariousness is one side... Then I must say, Being Observant is another side... 

For example, 

I was mentioning in many of my posts that Sakura’s character is not a Bad Writing.. instead there was an intention behind why she was written like that... I mentioned about this fact in a casual manner without any emphasis on it.... And one anon picked up my words and asked Why is that... And that became one of the lengthy post I’ve written so far which has nothing to do with SNS but it ended up being SNS... 

In this Post, I casually mentioned that Sasuke is not an Arrogant person, in a random line... That ask was totally about Naruto’s Aesthetic appeal inside Narutoverse. But our SNS blogger (larrycherry07), pointedly asked me about that sentence as to why I feel that way... And I ended up making a lengthy post about Sasuke’s Arrogance .

Similarly, In this post, I was talking about how Kishimoto started to screw up SS/NH/NS/SK starting from Pain Arc.... and I just casually added a line as to how Kishi made Madara dirty... as a casual mention... And then another anon picked that line and asked me as to Why I feel Madara was nerfed like clown... And That became another lengthy post..

So, you see... The Anons are extremely Observant and when I get ask like that, I simply get astounded as to, “Yaaayy!!! People are reading even my lengthy rants and are paying attention to it... But on the other hand I should be extra responsible & careful about what I write, from here onwards”...

ANONS BE - TELEPATHIC

Just when I want to write a single post about some topic... Some telepathic anon would send an Ask reflecting what was in my mind, right out of nowhere and I am like... “....”..... Shocked to the core. 

Like how do they do that???? I swear, this can’t be happening in any other fandom, Right???

ANONS BE - HETEROGENOUS (being diverse)

One of the best thing I enjoy about these anons are... They really want to know about other stuffs too. i.e, things that doesn’t have anything to do with SNS or even SS/NH.... Someday, I get an ask about Deidara. Another day I get an ask about Obito. 

Which shows, they are invested in this series as a Whole just like I do... Which makes me feel truly connected to this Fandom.

ANONS BE - DESCRIPTIVE (SINCERE)

Most of the Anons send me ask explaining what they mean, why do they feel certain way and how do they come to that conclusion... And then they ask what do I think about those. You could clearly see the sincerity in their thought process and genuinely want to know more about this series. One such ask is this...

Again, this doesn’t only pertains to SNS but this also extends to other plotlines as well. This is something I wish that could’ve happened in other platforms back when I was a new comer to this fandom... 

ANONS BE - ‘EXPLAIN THIS’ (correcting my stance)

There is this ask where the Anon was asking my contradictory meaning to two similar things... I mean, In one of my previous posts, I’ve said “Sasuke catched Sakura and thanking her silently” and In another post, I’ve said, “Sasuke made a silent apology to Naruto through Tears in Chapter 698... Like he doesn’t need words”... So, it looks both of the acts are similar in nature.... And the Anon was asking my explanation... 

Which shows, they read my posts carefully... And remembers what I write... They connect the dots together and want to know more about it. If there’s any contradiction, they’d like to ask me about that as well... Which is very cool of them, tbh. 

ANONS BE - THOUGHT PROVOKING

Okay. Let me tell you.... Not every opinions are strongly developed from my own head... Sometimes, Anons help me develop it... Like, you subconsciously know about something but you won’t realize it or even spend your time to bother thinking about it... And then some Anon would randomly send an Ask and it’d just flare my subconscious thoughts up and help me hit the Euphoria.... 

One such moment was... 

After receiving this amazing Ask...

When I got that ask... it never gave me any sense of Epiphany... I casually answered what I felt at that time... Which is very evident from my changed current opinions as compared to that ask... [[ Not only women characters’ arc revolve around men... But men characters’ arc also revolve around men.. Which I didn’t realize before... I legit thought Kishi drew Hinata in an Obscene way... LOL ]]

But after sometime, when I started to ask myself some questions, “Why didn’t the author made Sakura and Hinata to be likeable??? Like why? I even love Obito who did everything wrong... but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to like these girls... What must be the reason?”

And whenever I ask these kind of questions related to women characters... I keep coming back to this ask... 

Then I started paying attention towards Tsunade more and more... And Realized she is not only a secondary side character but also developed with more attention. Like she has a Backstory... She has a Dream that doesn’t have anything to do with Dan... She is independent... She is Strong... She was given a position of Power... She wasn’t written to be like a bimbo with just boobs with no personality... All for a side character.... And I wondered, why didn’t Kishimoto did the same with Sakura though??? 

Then only these lines from that ask struck me...

I don't believe Kishi can't write romance, I also don't believe he can't write at least halfway decent female characters, he just chose not to... I felt like sensei not only deliberately wrote the women in a bad light, he made something akin to the development of something romantic, just to later deliberately sabotage them.

So, that’s why???!!!! 

The Author intentionally want us to hate these two women so that we would notice SNS bond better otherwise we would end up shipping NH/SS... And that’s why he sabotaged them at every given chance???? 

Then only I started to piece together the purpose of these women as a Beard... And also I realized that Kishi is not that misogynistic monster the fandom claim him to be... Instead I felt he is more disinterested in anyone who is not Naruto and Sasuke. Be it male or female.... 

I mean I subconsciously had no problems with Kishimoto’s writing of Women characters... It’s only after I got into the fandom I kept hearing these claims... But that ask totally flared up my inner thoughts more and more... And it confirmed many things in the long run... Which made me write so many post on that topic. 

Thanks to that Ask... which actually helped me realize something great about the Author’s nuances...

(Some ask had negatively affected me though, which I’ll explain in my other post tomorrow)

-

-

-

Now tell me, How many fandoms out there could say that they have people who could share and discuss their thoughts in a Funny, Sensible, Thought Provoking, Sincere manner all the while being super polite??? ON A CONSISTENT BASIS....??? I mean, in the Past 1 year... there’s not many days that goes without a post from me... Almost everyday, I post something... And 95% of those asks are unique in nature...

Well, yes... I get Hate Asks from time to time... But all of them are totally negligible and trivial when compared to all the other meaningful asks I receive.

And Yes... I don’t like this NS/SN discourse at all... Especially one having the moral high ground and invalidating the other based on Headcanons.

SNS fandom maybe boring and unfunny, sometimes downright irritating because of the passive aggressiveness & relentless one-sidedness. 

But I am clearly having fun in my own little space because of all those lovely anons... So, the least I could do is convey my Thank You to everyone who sent me asks so far and lending their time and eyes to my answers. 

[millenianthemums]

Hello again!

Do you have any wholesome hradcanons for everyone's favourite father-daughter duo, Colress and Rosa/Mei? :)

hi! sorry it took me a while to get to this ask. writing has been really weirdly hard for me lately, and i wanted to think of some good stuff. here’s just a few ideas i have about my favorite very-loosely-based-in-canon found family.

-Colress and Mei initially bonded because of a shared interest in science! My version of Mei is very introverted and bookish, and she absolutely loves learning about biology and physics in particular, but for most of her life she didn’t have anyone to talk about science with who was as interested in it as she was. After meeting Colress, though, they got into a long conversation about his research, and he was very impressed by how knowledgeable she was. Colress quickly realized that even though Mei seemed deeply shy and quiet at first, once she started talking about something she was excited about, she was just as outgoing, cheerful and passionate about science as he was as a kid. These days, Colress often enlists Mei’s help with various science projects he’s working on, and considers her an awesome lab assistant.

-I’ve said before that I think Colress had a pretty lonely childhood that led him to become quieter and less enthusiastic than he used to be as a kid, and I also think Mei’s childhood was very similar. I think Colress saw a lot of himself in Mei, and that’s a big part of why he ended up basically adopting her. He saw that Mei was a really bright kid who’d had a tough life so far and he wanted to help her realize her full potential. As they got to know each other better and became good friends, he realized that she was helping him come out of his shell and become cheerful and outgoing again just as much as he was helping her.

-I really like to think about the progression of Colress and Mei’s friendship and how it affects Colress’s plans with Team Plasma. Mei probably didn’t know Colress was part of Team Plasma until she met him on the Plasma Frigate, and I think that was because Colress very much did not want her to know. At first he figured they could stay friends without the issue of him working with a terrorist organization ever coming up, but as Ghetsis’s plans escalated and it became clear that Mei would be actively in danger if Team Plasma succeeded, Colress realized he had to find a way out. I don’t think Colress was ever invested in Team Plasma’s goals, seeing them more as a source of funding for his research than anything, but eventually he started caring way more about Mei’s safety than about his research. He definitely didn’t want Mei to get actively involved with Team Plasma at all; he thought it was way too dangerous and didn’t want her to get hurt by this group he had directly helped become so dangerous. But he also didn’t want Mei to know that he was involved with Team Plasma, because he thought she’d be horrified and not want to be his friend anymore. By the time Mei was on the Frigate, he’d accepted that she was going to find out, and just wanted to convince her to leave before she got herself killed. During their confrontation, Mei managed to convince him to help her stop Ghetsis by telling him that she was going to fight him no matter what, and he could either let her go alone, or be there to help her. I think Colress was pretty scared of the idea of confronting Ghetsis, but a lot more scared of his adopted daughter dying.

-After the events of the game, I think Mei took it upon herself to use her influence as champion and savior of the region to get Colress’s crimes pardoned. Even though she knew Colress had done some really bad things, she also knew that he truly wanted to make things right as best he could, and no matter what he’d done, he was still her friend and father figure. Once he’s safe from going to prison for freezing a city full of people, Colress spends his days doing as ethical of experiments as he can stand to do. He’s a mad scientist by nature, but he’s also deeply grateful to Mei for everything she’s done for him, so for her sake, he’s not going to be destroying any more cities.

-Mei and Colress meet up at least once a week on the Frigate to have a Pokemon battle together, and afterwards they’ll play chess or video games or see a movie or work on one of Colress’s science projects. They both really love spending time together as often as they can.

[thechekhov]

Alright, alright, I caved.

After a slot opened up in me to be able to take on another show emotionally, I decided to invest in OwlHouse. I thought I would probably like it, but it won me over faster than I thought it would.

I’ve already watched a few episodes, but I realized that it might be more fun to do liveblogs, so here I am - with a liveblog...

I will be doing this episode by episode, and probably releasing them every once in a while. Everything will be under a cut, however, to save you all dash space.

If you’d like to follow, please track the #chekhov watches owlhouse tag!

(I’d also like to dedicate this post to the Tumblr Staff Rob, who did his best to restore this post for me when tumblr queue ate it.)

Without further ado...

Episode 1!!

Fair warning - this is technically not a ‘live’ blog, because I have already watched some of the show before deciding to do this, but I’ll still react to them to round things out.

Immediately, this reminds me of Little Witch Academia... Anyone? No? Only me? I feel like maybe I’m getting my wires crossed, but there HAD to have been some inspiration taken from there?

“No-- my only weakness! Dying!!“

Same, big snake monster. Same.

Oh, backup snakes? This girl is READY.

Please don’t mistreat the snakes.

Spider breath... This kid is on my wavelength. That griffin seems to be waiting to be put out of its misery though, and I don’t blame it.

My child... where did you get that pigeon head though.....

Nurse mother, do you REALLY think signing up your spider-summoning daughter for summer camp will actively make her antics slow down instead of ramp up to 60?

Awww, baby makes AMVs... But also, NO ONE TOLD YOU TO THROW AWAY THE BOOK??? I know it’s symbolic, but goodness, isn’t that a bit much???

wait a sec, is that Eda????

Love the realistic bilingual kid experience of replying in English when your mom talks to you in your native language. Universal.

Love this introduction of Eda’s character. She’s got that little green scarf on and everything. Like a tiny trash grandma.

Oooh, okay, let’s extrapolate...

Lots of bones everywhere. I kinda love the aesthetic here - it’s gross and visceral, kind of like what Luz was making with her school projects. Yet in the middle of it all we have a rather clear gothic looking structure. Is this a power imbalance in the supposed kingdom?

The five circles of stained glass seem to perhaps indicate something like Hogwarts houses? Several different types of magic?

But Luz has no reason to freak out as much as she is - she LOVES weird stuff! Haha... No, I kid, I kid. I get it.

“Am I in the bad place?“

Eyyyyy, gotta love shows referencing other shows. :)

“Oh dear child... I’m not like you.”

Wow, what a DRAMATIC reveal for some pointy ears. :) I love her.

We should all aspire to have such cool and stylistically well put together wanted posters. You can tell the commissioned artist really respects her craft.

Steven Universe fans watching this:

I’m looking too.

Okay, okay, enough shenanigans, let’s have some LORE.

I love this landscape. Teeth or bones, or whatever they are, this is one of the more unique settings we’ve gotten, though maybe I’m prejudiced because I love body horror and bones. The darker orange and red themes fit really well here.

Things I’m desperate for: Giraffe Lore 

Things I’m more desperate for: Eda lore. Why do her limbs fall off? Is she a zombie?

Things I’m not quite as desperate for: Hooty lore. He can keep that to himself.

well hello there mysterious chekhov’s glyph which will DEFINITELY not be relevant in the second chapter (or end of season? Maybe? Idk it just seems important).

Ah, yes. That would have been my reaction as well, to be fair. Somehow I didn’t expect to see this guy so early on. I figured he would be a low stress early villain that got assimilated into the Found Family. Kinda psyched that he’s just there from the start.

....I’m just gonna presume this is all true and accept it at face value.

Old Escape The Cops Lady and Tiny Little Demon King, I need your backstory. How did you meet.

I love looking at background details, because like... you can tell the BG artists had fun. I particularly love how the 3 eyed toad doesn’t actually have any reward attached to her. Though the Knife Baby does intrigue me!

“I write fanfics of food falling in love.”

Why am I being called out...

“Noo! My weak nerd arms!”

Finally, a realistic portrayal of a protagonist thrust into a fantasy setting!

.....................

Okay but. If only humans could pass through the barrier... wouldn’t that mean a human had to have deposited those things in there? Do they have a human on staff in this weird pseudo-prison??? Suspicious....

Confession - when I initially saw ads for this show, I expected Eda to be a villain, not a loveable middle aged witch aunt figure. I am shockingly even MORE drawn to her this way. I expected betrayal. I expected her to be a lowkey threat?? But no. She’s just wholesome in the way a solid raccoon is.

“Eda, are you okay?!”

“Yeah, this just happens when you get older...”

“........does it..?”

If I had to pinpoint the exact moment this show won me over...... it would probably be this one.

I know it’s probably the wrong thing to focus on, but what is that insignia? Wings??? Like.... the kind OWLS HAVE?????

COINCIDENCE??? I THINK NOT!!!

I’m really loving the landscape here. And those fireworks are... hmm... intricate?

Gotta love the old tried and true Witch Apprentice Actually A Live In Intern trope. :)

Hold up...

Is that

Is that Hooty? I thought he was just a door....

Eda: This is my room for human stuff. I will also put my human in there.

. . .

Overall rating: I think this is a cute overall beginning. The prison break went hard! I enjoyed the characters and it kind of surprised me in a lot of ways. It definitely does a great job setting up a world with a lot more to explore while giving us a small taste of cool magic stuff and witchy battles. :)

Now on to Episode 2!!

Read the liveblogs in order by clicking here!

[ariapmdeol]

introducing @gavinom​ and I’s DSMP Parahuman AU!! This is a superpowers AU based on Worm, a web serial by wildbow!!

This is a superpowers AU,,, with a VERY complicated story. There are 3 or 4 main POV/plotlines:

Tommy and Tubbo’s plotline

Techno and Phil’s plotline

Dream’s plotline

Wilbur’s plotline

also niki’s plotline bc i appreciate her so much

they’re all very heavily interconnected! There’s a connection chart here, but there’s much more detailed explanations under the cut!

basic worldbuilding info: the city that this story focuses on (Dream SMP) is run by the Dream Team! They’re a group of villains who took over the city after it was being badly mismanaged by corrupt officials. Dream has connections to Cauldron (human experimentation group looking to create artificial powers). SBI + everyone else all live in this city! Powers are common and have a classification system shown below, and people with powers are called Capes! Capes are divided into Heroes, Villains, and Rogues (who are neither heroes or villains). People get powers when they experience an emotionally charged or traumatic event or events called a Trigger Event! These events shape what kind of power the cape gains!

SBI Tommy and Wilbur are both Philza’s biological kids! Philza is a researcher with long hours, Wilbur takes care of Tommy, but all of them have something else going on! ages: Tommy: 16 wilbur: 21 philza minecraft: early 40′s?

PHILZA - Mover 4 Philza is a researcher working for an organization called Cauldron. Cauldron is experimenting on people in order to understand and create powers artificially! As he ends up more and more involved with both the research on powers and the affected people (called Case 53′s), including technoblade, he decides that he cannot tolerate this anymore, and plans to break techno and others out! He steals a vial labelled ‘Zephyrus’, drinks it, and ends up with wings! He and techno break out, unlock a ton of other cells (including Ranboo’s!), and end up on the run. However, both his sons are left behind... After months of being on the run, he and Techno finally decide that it’s safe enough to return. But hang on, why is the house so empty? And did someone just open the door?

Technoblade - Tinker, Brute 3 technoblade is one of Cauldron’s Case 53′s! His power is a Tinker power, which means that he can invent things! However, he can only invent what chat decides is necessary. This is seen as an EXTREMELY overpowered and rare ability. Most Tinkers have some kind of specialty that they’re limited to, or some other restriction that limits their Ability-Driven inventiveness. Techno’s only limit is his Chat, which can be convinced into a certain direction. He also has had a lot of physical changes like gaining claws, tusks, hooves, and a tail! Techno also has increased regeneration and resistance! He’s fiercely overprotective of Phil and the two of them are best friends! After months on the run, he and Phil return to Phil’s home, but something is off... Is that a Tinker’s lab?!

Tommy - Trump 6 and Tubbo - Tinker (Drones), Master 3 Tommy’s plotline is technically our main POV! He really admires his older brother a ton! Philza’s spent a lot of time away from home, so Wilbur ended up looking after Tommy a lot, especially after Phil went missing... wonder where he went? About a month after Phil vanished, Wilbur starts spending a lot of time away from home too, so Tommy spends most of his time with Tubbo! When Tubbo got his powers, it was... not a good day. Tubbo hadn’t been having an easy time at school, and it all kind of... got to be too much, so he triggered. However, they both quickly realized that Tubbo had gotten a Tinker power! He creates and can manipulate Drones without a remote being necessary! The two of them immediately decided to become heroes, and started making costumes and hero names and stopping minor crime! Very quickly though, they got into a situation that was too much for them. Tubbo got badly injured, and Tommy triggered his ability for the first time. Tommy has the ability to boost the abilities of people he cares about! He makes them stronger and loosens some of the restrictions on their powers. Tommy and Tubbo continue trying to be heroes when they come across Ranboo, and take him home with them! Hm? it looks like someone else is inside already, who could that be?

Wilbur - Master 4, Thinker 3 Wilbur is a very charismatic and scheming character! He cares a ton about his family, and does his best to look after Tommy. He’s bitter and angry at Phil for essentially leaving him to take care of Tommy so often, and he triggered after Phil’s funeral, over a month after Phil first vanished. His ability is illusion based! He can project illusions into someone’s mind, and can read people very VERY well. He realizes that his power is definitely a powerful one, and ends up becoming a villain! He goes to Dream, and asks for some territory to prove himself as a leader (and bc villainy is profitable shhh). Dream agrees, and Phantasm becomes leader of a territory called L’Manburg. On his villain team are niki, eret, and fundy! He doesn’t want to involve Tommy or Tubbo in this whole thing, and he has no idea that either of them are Capes. He ends up spending more and more time outside the house and running his territory. Fundy ends up looking up to him as a sort of older brother/father figure, and when Fundy ends up without a place to go, Wilbur sets him up in their villain HQ! When he comes home, he immediately notices something is up. His power had suddenly gotten... stronger? He opens the door and sees...Philza? 

Dream - Master 7, Tinker(?), Striker 2 Dream has the power to possess objects that he touches! He uses this +  custom Puppets to act as the unkillable leader of the Dream Team! Dream is heavily involved with Cauldron, and personally oversaw Ranboo’s experimentation. He and Philza knew each other as civilians, and he knows that Philza stole a serum from Cauldron, but Phil doesn’t know that he’s Dream, just that he works for Cauldron! Sapnap and George both don’t know about his involvement in Cauldron, though. Dream is looking for Techno, and wants to convince him to get on his side. He has yet to meet someone who can beat him and his ability, after all! That’s part of why he gives Wilbur territory to look after so easily - he’s confident in his ability to take Wilbur down. However, things might be more difficult than he assumes... As a bit of a side note, both Awesamdude and 5up are rogues, but he hires both of them for jobs and such!

OTHER STUFF THAT I HAVEN’T QUITE PLANNED OUT AS MUCH IN DETAIL:

fundy and 5up are in a ML style love square! 5up has a crush on Fundy’s villain identity, while Fundy has a crush on 5up’s civilian identity!

niki and ranboo are siblings! she became a villain with Wilbur to look for him. Ranboo has been missing for a very VERY long time, and doesn’t remember anything before Cauldron!

5up also tends to help out Tommy and Tubbo a lot? He saved them from a situation that was UH.. VERY OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE pretty early on, and decided “welp time to become a big brother”! he’s been teaching them how to fight, and Tubbo is really having fun with it

all the plotlines collide on the same night. Phil and Techno come home at the same night that Tommy and Tubbo are bringing Ranboo home, Wilbur’s been out for the past week and is only now JUST coming home after getting Fundy settled, and none of them know about the other person’s powers at all

it’s CHAOS because Phil’s been assumed dead and has just come back with WINGS and a tall and intimidating Technoblade, who immediately pulls a sword on them, Tommy and Tubbo still are in costume, Ranboo recognizes Techno and Phil as the guys who broke him out, and WILBUR is realizing that he’s missed a hell of a lot

and NO ONE KNOWS that ranboo is the one niki is looking for! not even ranboo

theres like. a whole timeline to this that i still need to draw/write out but TRUST US WE HAVE A PLAN

George is a Precog who gets prophetic dreams! They’re primarily impressions though, and he’s ended up in someone else’s dreams a couple times... If he uses his ability too much, he gets insomnia!

karl and quackity are both there too i just havent planned their part yet!!

sapnap is a high Breaker/Brute/Striker cape, I just haven’t narrowed down the specifics yet!

[itsallyscorner]

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.