#though I didn't do as much of a fusion of those this time around

[what-the-flux]

☣️🐀☢️ Tarchaak gets to debut in art form! Despite the fact I've had him as a character for a few years now. He's a botanist and environmental science tech (and eco-terrorist but we don't talk about that out in the open) but his hobbies include club dancing and being as Extra as possible.

[evilminji]

You knooooowwww... >.>

The only difference, technically, between a school in the Zone? And on Earth? Is the American government won't recognize your Zone diploma...

Not accredited. But like..... I'm JUST SAYING? If you didn't try to pass your school off as some Big Ivy League type? Pulled the "oh yeah, you'd never have heard of it, it's local." And the COMPUTERS say it's legit?

How many people will dig deeper?

If you legitimately have the knowledge, you legitimately have the knowledge. Not YOUR fault you left out the whole "extra-dimensional" part. It makes folk nervous! And nervous folks get stabby.

So like? If you were ALREADY planning to "Move" as you euphemistically put it? Talked it over with your VERY concerned folks and friends? Who do NOT like the look of the steady but concerning rise of Anti-Ghost Powers That Be? Who finally put their foot down and reminded you that you are a TEENAGER and it's NOT your responsibility to fix the world?

Well...

Fuck those guys, I guess. You'll miss the old house, but Team "Taking our ball and going literally anywhere else" makes some good points. Why ARE you putting up with this?

And honestly, you've never SEEN your dad have so much fun. Him and the Reality Realtor just sorta... Vibe. Himbo to Himbo communications. Smatters of advanced physics. Fudge. It's great.

They move the portal. Collapse the old one in a way that makes it impossible to recover or recreate. You... kinda don't want to ask. They had that "mad scientist glint" in their eyes.

And while everyone's checking out brochures to different realities? You? Head off to the nearest College. It's the Zone, so technically you could go to any of endless billions. But you'd like your education some time this century.

Cue! Danny Fenton! Entering?

Academia's wet dream. A sprawling CITY of a college. Where the classes are on EVERYTHING and the price is FREE. People have Obsessions okay?? They NEED to teach. Debate and discuss! Study! Right papers and read them! It's been going on a while! And what happens when you find a subject that's NOT covered?

YOU COVER IT!

It's like if New York was a College. Good fucking luck find the dorms. Sleep on the floor like the rest of us, you casual.

Danny was Not Prepared ™.

He loves it though.

Classes on aeronautics next making the perfect sandwich, shoved next to historical basketry, stacked above alien slam poetry. But only on Tuesdays! Ever shifting. Breaking his Fenton Born Adhd in to a fine PASTE to be smeared upon bread. Happy mental stimulation chemicals go Brrrrrrrr

If it wasn't wildly inappropriate, he would LICK IT to claim it as his then wrap around it and gaurd like a territorial cat. He thought he HATED school! Turns out he just hated high-school. College though? College, or at least ZONE College, is fuckin AWESOME.

He's sit in SO MANY random classes just cause.

Picked up and dropped them at a whim. When they no longer sparked joy. He's been a flighty bitch and for once? No one CARES. No one says "you HAVE to commit and stick with this FOREVER once you choose this" and? It just? It's so FREEING! He's learned so MUCH!

He's probably gonna come back!

Which? Is how a deeply, DEEPLY weird aerospace engineer from supposedly bumfuck NOWHERE, end up working at Wayne Industries. He's.... a lil crazy behind the eyes. Ha ha... CONCERNING ™!

Dude sleeps on the lab floor. Has weirdly spotty knowledge. Can be an unprecedented genius one second and not know who the current president is the next. Doesn't know what DAY it is. Forgets to eat. Tried to make a fusion reactor out of the break room toaster before Sandra from accounting distracted him with pictures of her cat.

It's like he wanders through life blissfully unaware that he is both terrifying and about three seconds from killing them all. Then FUCKING TRIPS because he forgot to tie his shoelaces again.

Who hired this man?

WHY!?

I mean, we KNOW why. Probably to put him on a watch list. But? He's like a terrifying murder puppy! Built like a tank! That's stoned out of its mind half the time. And have you HEARD his college stories? That CAN'T be legal. Was this guy raised in a cult!? Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!????

@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter

[system-of-a-feather]

Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"

(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)

Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.

I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.

So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.

I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.

Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)

Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration

According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.

To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)

Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like

The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be

I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own

In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self

With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.

As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".

As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.

Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.

As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.

Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.

For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.

It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.

Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.

At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)

And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...

Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly

At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)

It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)

With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.

I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"

Functional Multiplicity Pros:

A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions

It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense

Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not

More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online

Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it

Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Pros:

Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier

It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as

You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.

More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces

Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation

Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Functional Multiplicity Cons:

Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life

Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part

Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion

Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Cons:

Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective

It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts

Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them

Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once

And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.

Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it

Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now

-Feathers

EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.

[another-lost-mc]

JES YOU UPDATED, the kids miss you/j

I've been busy doing a lot of nothing, if that makes sense. Well, maybe not nothing - a random assortment of rl and blog odds-and-ends that don't seem very productive but I'm going to call it self-care. lol

(read more cause this got longer than I thought it would.)

I don't usually take March Break off work, but my empty schedule this year surprised me and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I spent the first few days fending off a persistent headache, then I spent some time re-watching Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel while I worked on some crossover/fusion potential with OM. Today the headache is back and I'm dog-sitting which shouldn't be as distracting as it is. (She's only a little Boston Terrier but my cats get all worked up about it even though they're the ones stalking her around the house for no reason.)

I've also been playing Honkai Star Rail. I have no idea what I'm doing but it's kind of fun. I want to give Genshin Impact a try too, but I'm not sure I want to play both. (I know dailies are optional blah blah blah but if I'm going to spend time doing busywork like that, I might as well go back to playing WoW.)

Someone sent me another ask about my current WIPs so I think I'll just ramble about them here.

The canon cast and OC post for surgery!anon. I'm trying to balance fluff and angst and realism and make it comforting at the same time (aka what I would've wanted to read before mine). There's some overlap with a post about Solomon's humanity that's it's own separate WIP.

Naming conventions in the Devildom and CR. These are my worldbuilding ideas to explain how Solomon has an established pact with Bathin (my OC for Mephisto's younger brother) since he's part of the Ars Goetia. This also discusses how those same ideas apply to Luke.

Fleshing out the angel OC stuff with Gabriel and Uriel. They're situated in the AU where MC is sent to the CR for the exchange program and not the Devildom which is why I haven't talked about them much. I have the fem!angel OC as well but I don't know what to name her (I want her to be like Zee where she's an "ordinary" angel). To be fair, she's probably not going to show up much outside of the story I originally wrote for her.

Genderbending-the-OCs anon, you have no idea what this is doing to me. It changes their kinks and their dynamics and how they would approach MC and I am mentally screaming into a pillow right now.

I've been writing directly in my Tumblr drafts lately, but I found a holiday fic for Solomon in my google docs. I thought it was a WIP but then I re-read it and it turns out I actually finished it and somehow forgot about it? Like...how does someone even do that. Anyway, do we want a smutty Solomon Xmas-in-March fic? (It's only holiday-ish because of a corny mistletoe joke on his part.)

On a random note, part of me regrets not making separate blogs for AT and my OCs (for organizational purposes) and I'm lowkey tempted to do it anyway.

If you read all this, you get a prize! Enjoy some chibis that I've been collecting like they're for my OC Pokedex. These are by sempa and ocha respectively.

[mad-doodle-disease]

source: various notes found scattered status: surprisingly neat

I FOUND IT. High Roller! From High Roller's High Roller! I've been to his shows before, I can't believe it took my this long to realize I was staring at High Roller! All this time, I was thinking he dropped off the face of the Earth, but he was with me this whole time!? Or, at least, half of him was with me, but now I got the other half in Dave. I couldn't remember the fact he was a fusion, not an amalgamate fusion, but a full blown healthy fusion! Those shows always seemed like a blur looking back on it, and I really had to focus in and do some deep thinking to remember the fusion part. Professor Pete and I had to put our big (mine was bigger though) brains together for it. Hell, right before William left, I asked him if he remembered "that old game show that got cancelled right before the infection hit" and asked him what he remembered of it, framing it as a "remember the good old times"-esque question. He started to cry though, weirdly enough. He's left by now, I thanked him for helping me transport Dave back here during his short stay.

Anyway, onto how I remembered. I found a news article. An article I had printed out because I figured it'd be important for the future (which it ended up being! I'm called "the Prethinker" for a reason, heh). The main article I printed the page out for wasn't the one I needed though, that one was just about a Cog going wild and attacking another Cog during a patrol... which I now know to obviously be Buck Ruffler. No no, what I'm looking at is the article directly below that, around half of it was printed out. "Popular game show 'High Roller's High Roller' unexpectedly CANCELLED amidst disease scare". And there he was, in an attached picture! The Cog that mysteriously took the place of Dave and Buck last night... High Roller. Now makes sense as to why it got canceled so suddenly, given one half of the duo that made up High Roller was infected early on. Also clears up as to why High Roller didn't do any interviews and only written one blog post before "dropping off the face of the Earth". That blog post was written by Dave!

The only question I have left now is: Why wasn't High Roller infected? I mean, I'm incredibly grateful he ISN'T infected. Given what I remember of the guy, if he was infected like his halves we would probably all be dead within the night. I do have vague memories of him performing "magic tricks", such as making Suits appear or disappear out of thin air, but I remember those just being just that. Tricks. Tricks of the light, optical illusions, not real magic. Besides, if it was real magic and he did have magic coursing through his veins, he should still be infected. From what I've heard, Ye Olde Toontowne is in total disrepair and the Toons there are FILLED with magic. In fact, their magical abilities made them WORSE OFF, as most of them ended up mutating or causing others to mutate while trying to defend themselves!

Why isn't High Roller infected!? He should be double infected, he should be a threat! I don't understand, and I hate it!

WHY ISN'T HE INFECTED!?

I need to figure this out. I need to. He could be the cure, for all we know. But if I'm gonna study him, I'm going to need him to constantly be around, not just around during the middle of the night when the two fuse to get some much need sleep.

note: handwriting gets noticeably more frantic and messy near the end place of origin: toontown central days into infection: month 0, day 25

NEXT

[box-architecture]

Uhhh ckau au where fusion is possible thoughts:

Sam and Dream a couple of times while building the prison together. Generally they didn't fuse that often before because they weren't as close, but as two of the OG 8 they cared about each other and trusted each other well enough to fuse a few times as kids.

Sam doesn't mind fusion, he likes getting to have a connection with people. He'd do it with Ponk to just zoom around together, and Bad. He's used to the Many Limbs and thinks they're very useful.

Punz has not actually fused with Sam prior to ckau. They didn't fuse much in general as a kid. They get a little antsy at the idea of people having access to their head. Purpled and him have, and possibly he did so with Dream once when they were kids? But they don't actually do it that often until the revival book shows up, and when the first of their experiments works, they jump and cheer and someone leaps into the others arms for a hug and- well.

Dream fused with the dteam a lot. He loved it. He loved getting to be surrounded by the love they all had for each other. He loved knowing he was cared about. If one of the OG8 said "let's fuse" he'd be ready in an instant. As the dsmp goes on and the DTeam stops fusing, he has a hard time dealing with it. Feels very cold. He pretends he isn't starved for affection until he accidentally fuses with Punz and then it becomes a thing they do Often because Punz could feel those little cracks where Dream was lonely.

Sam never actually fused with Dream in prison. He never asked. Dream never offered, even when he offered sex, because it didn't occur to him that that might be something Sam would want.

Sam would probably insist that the idea was revolting: Dream was Evil his mind was likely Tainted (even though he had fused with Dream just a few weeks back and had been happy and warm and in sync.) Sam pretends to consider it only as a way to Keep Dream Locked Up. Wouldn't it the ultimate way to do it? Dream can't escape Sam that way. He'd be able to keep Dream with him. Just the two of them.

Dream doesn't fuse for a while after prison. Punz tentatively offers, hoping to comfort, but Dream is terrified of Punz feeling or seeing anything that happened. Punz can't know how it felt, being tortured, Dream won't do that to them.

a few sessions into the ckau, Dream feels well enough to fuse with Punz during Aftercare in an extremely tender moment. It's uplifting. It's everything to them. After the tension of adding Sam to their relationship, it's exactly the thing thats needed to calm and reassures Punz. Feeling their bond overwhelm with lovelovelove I trust you more than anyone

Drunz fusing is also something that Punz taunts Sam with during one of their spats. Yeah, Sam may be able to fuck Dream, but Punz and Dream fuse, they have love and trust, and Sam doesn't. It's something that bothers Sam immensely.

they don't fuse after Sam rescues his partners from Quackity. They don't fuse in a high tension moment, or even a particular notable one. Sam and Dream are taking one of their evening walks, somehow end up holding hands. They stop for a bit to let Dream rest, and he leans his head on Sam's shoulder. All Sam has time to think is Oh. and then-

SamDream curls up in the grass until late in the evening, just quietly existing. They're not really able to identify the emotions in their chest, they just know they don't want to leave this moment

Sam and Punz actually do fuse during a notable moment. During the first anniversary where Punz comes alone to reveal that he's a hybrid to Sam. Punz puts a leg on Sam's shoulder, and Sam grabs it with gentle firmness, and for a moment they're just. Both staring. Intimate and intense. They don't remember who leaned in first, but that's okay, because SamPunz doesn't care about that. They feel a rumble in their chest before they even stand. Warm.

there's a competitive air to who gets to fuse with Dream More for a while in the beginning. If Dream fused with one he has to fuse with the other. He thinks it's ridiculous but he'll do it, because he loves fusing with them, but good God. Neither of the two will admit to being jealous of the idea that the other has a deeper connection to him. It's only when the two finally Settle and fully complete the triangle that the insecurity fades.

Sam tends to crowd Dream against the wall and beg to fuse. He is Very sad wet and pathetic.

SamDream has Dream's adhd and Sam's ocd. They also tend to get caught in loops very easily

It's very important that I tell you that when Sam and Dream fuse, their fusion is filled with complete and utter contentment. Sam's need to Keep Own Consume is finally appeased, their souls are now Entwined. He is in a formless state of bliss, and their fusion reflects that, purring constantly. They are together, and Dream is so cozy from how wanted he is. He's being engulfed by love, enough to make him want to rest, just a little.

Their fusion is a many legged puppycat, all fluff and fur, several long tails that poof a little, and loveslovesloves Punz so much. They have zoomies where they get So Excited and have to Build Things and Go Places, but it's always followed by a period of needing to lounge and sleep and get So Many Pets. They've created a large tree made of non-wood materials that is big enough to hold them in its branches, and they like pawing at Punz.

When Dream and Sam have to unfuse, Sam tends to become discontent, whining and begging for just a little longer; he doesn't want to leave Dream. But Dream tells him he wants a kiss and a hug and to see Sam for real, and Sam remembers how much he loves those things too, so it makes the transition easier. They have to kiss after they unfuse. It's Important.

-

"Are you coming down any time soon?" Punz called up to them. The mass of fluff and arms peeked out from over a branch of deepslate.

"Hm," they considered. "Maybe. Yes?"

"That doesn't sound very sure."

The fusion shrugged, and leaned over to hold out a paw. Several tails wiggled hopefully. "Punz?"

They sighed, but couldn't help the wry smile. They leaped onto the offered paw and let themselves be brought up to the top of the strange, manmade tree that they had been building for the entire day.

Humming in delight, they set him carefully in the top base of the tree. He looked around, at the numerous branches, the insane amount of blocks required for the sheer size of the thing, and felt a soft warmth.

"It looks good." He said. Immediately, a thunderous purr echoed.

[junemermaid]

writer interview

I was tagged by @vaynglories, @lynne-monstr and @la-muerta all at one point or another. Thank you all kindly, sorry it took me so long! 💗

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

120 unique works. I have two double entries from when the old Yuletide archive was imported to AO3, so the total on my author page is 122. It's missing any fic I wrote before 2005 but honestly I'm fine with those being lost in the mists of the internet. If you know, you know.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,004,161.

I didn't actually wait to do this meme until I passed the one million words mark, but I also kinda did.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

bodies full of untold stories (malec, E, Shadowhunters) / 1,343

an act of faith against the night (malec, T, Shadowhunters) / 1,037

House of Ash and Salt (dorian x bull, M, DA:I) / 995

Walkers of the Winding Path (malec, E, Shadowhunters) / 933

Talking With Strangers (malec, E, Shadowhunters) / 930

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to and it's my one continuing regret that I haven't been able to catch up with my inbox! The greatest reason why I currently seldom reply to comments is that I have such a backlog. The other reason is that I will either answer comments or write more fic, and I'm sure everyone rather that I do the latter. Still, I miss the conversation around fic that replying to comments often generated.

I mean: I need more writing friends and goddamn, please talk to me because I feel detached from fandom and it's the worst thing.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably to make the saints attend them long (malec, T, SH) which ends with extremely heavily implied MCD.

I tend to write hopeful to bittersweet endings, so this was a rarity for me.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Define happy ending? I do have one, all souls sheltered, (dorian x bull, T, DA:I) which IS the soft epilogue I wanted those two characters to have after all their toils and troubles.

These two questions mostly tell me that most of my endings don't fit well on the happy to sad scale. I tend to leave characters at points where they can look forward to the future and any acute crises are over, but I really wish "happy for now" or "a happy middle" would stick as ending descriptions because that's where I live.

7. Do you write crossovers?

I write fusions? Not traditional crossovers but I have a very niche fic thing where I take Alec and Magnus and stick them into the worlds of videogames I love. To wit, the Witcher (Walkers of the Winding Path) and Final Fantasy X (Servant of the Spiral).

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Didn't much care for it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I've written my share of PWP but more typically the process goes something like this:

I find a kink/trope/sex situation I want to try writing

the fic grows copious amounts of plot/worldbuilding/interpersonal drama (exhibit A: the tentacle porn that came with 3,000 words of, uh, creature logistics so I could have tentacles)

I spend two years working on bullet point two before the characters ever get naked in each other's company

My smut fic tends to the tender/longing/emotional, though. I use sex mostly as a vehicle for character exploration or to drive the drama of a story, so most of my sex scenes pull double duty to also move the overall story forward.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I'm a pretty niche writer in most of my fandoms, I don't think you would make either much fandom fame or big bucks with my writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! to make the saints attend them long is translated into Italian.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I'm a slow writer and I have to hew out writing time from the bedrock of my RL, so it wouldn't be very conducive to sharing a creative project, even though the basic idea appeals to me.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I was gonna make a joke about being asked to rate my children, but tbh I would rather not refer to fictional characters by any family term. However! I have changing obsessions and there's always some ship or canon that is eating up my brain at any given time, but I don't really get over ships. The details of canons fade with time but characters live forever in my heart.

Back in the mists of time, Ichigo and Rukia changed who I was as a person. (Then I added in Renji and It Got Better.) I adore Alec and Magnus but the fandom was categorically A Lot. Same with Dorian and Bull. Josephine and Cassandra were a total crack ship in the sense that there's no canon but I still love the idea of an f/f lady/champion pairing.

And right now I have two competing wuxia ot3s vying from my attention so. This is not a question I can answer.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My general fic writing philosophy is "whatever you can, whenever you can". I've made my peace with the fact that sometimes I'll start a thing and post a bit and then it simply won't get finished. Fic is free and no one has to click on a WIP (much as I love those people who will!)

So, unfortunately there's a few old WIPs on my ao3 that I don't think will ever get wrapped. The older the fic, the less likely it is. I keep them up as testament to the process, I suppose, or in case anyone likes the idea enough to read whatever I managed of it.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Putting canon under a lens until I have a mental Wall of Crazy with ten thousand interconnecting red strings and obscure notes, and then wringing story out of elements in the text that might not seem to connect on the surface.

I know sometimes you have to just wholesale go "this makes zero sense" and drop a bit of canon, but what I enjoy is taking bits and pieces and adapting them to fic. My current project is writing all the Mu Nihuang POV she really kind of doesn't get in Nirvana in Fire itself, and I am having a blast.

Also: character voice, action scenes, evocative description, setting up an emotional punch and taking you out with it 2,000 words later

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm slow, picky, and obsessive. I have to be In A Mood before I can put words to paper (I'm trying to combat this by becoming more of a garbage goblin about my first drafts. All words are good words! Hissss!) I'm bad at humour unless I'm accidentally funny.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It can be used to good effect but it's best used sparingly. I would generally always prefer that plot-relevant or important dialogue were simply, "This is the murder weapon," she said in French. Don't withhold information or emotional impact for the sake of showing off.

And oh god, never, ever put dialogue through MTL and expect it to come out right. If you absolutely need dialogue in a foreign language, consult an actual person that speaks it.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Very technically, ElfQuest. For actual published fic, Rurouni Kenshin.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Mysterious Lotus Casebook tickles my brain but I don't yet quite know what I want to write about! I have enough trouble herding the rowdy cats that are my NiF ideas right now.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Always the one I'm working on. So much of the joy of fic is bound up in the good creative rush of making it happen. Just as so much of the woe of fic is in the fucking toil of making it happen.

Anyway! Flowers in Dreamland Weather (jingsuhuang, E, Nirvana in Fire) got me out of a slump and gave me new characters and relationships to rotate in my head, and I love it for that.

Talking With Strangers (malec, E, Shadowhunters) actually got finished in a satisfying way, and I love it for that.

Maybe those are my current answers.

-

I will no-pressure tag — @theotherjax, @electricshoebox, @faejilly, @sinni-ok-sessi, @ladymatt, and anyone that still wants to do this! I've seen this doing the rounds, so if you haven't yet, please feel free to blame me for enabling you!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if humans go extinct before Aro and Caius and Marcus gets their shit together? Assuming everyone doesn't just give up, what's the Volturi's "save the world" plan look like now it's just vampires and animals?

It means we're entering the Children of Men fusion. There's no saving the world anymore, at least, not how it's traditionally understood.

The human species is dead, gone, it's over, and there's no means of bringing them back. All that's left now are the vampires, a race that can no longer reproduce without humans around. They live in a dying world and that's going to really take its emotional toll.

First, I imagine you're going to get initial panic as vampires search desperately for food (this is in part how humans die out so fast). I imagine some plague swept in, killed most of the population, this is combined with for whatever reason an uptick in vampire population. The vampires panic, there's a run on the bank so to speak, and in their panicked haze they overeat other populations in terror.

Eventually though, through starvation, they're all going to discover the animal diet. There's no alternative and per Carlisle and Tanya, the vampire body will instictively eat anything if it can't find its natural food source.

The panic subsides somewhat, this isn't an immediate agonizing death, for all I'm sure many vampires do ask their friends and family for suicide during this trying time.

The aftermath isn't much better, though.

I imagine Aro, Marcus, and Caius dedicate themselves to the task of protecting hunting grounds. The vampires really fucked up with the humans, this is their last chance for survival, you will not hunt these creatures out of existence.

"WE ARE EATING RABBITS," Aro declares, because they breed very quickly and there's a fucking million of them everywhere.

The Volturi are now environmental warriors, killing off those who threaten key creatures in any one environment and threaten mass extinctions of multiple edible species.

Otherwise, I imagine Aro devotes himself even more to being a historian and probably feels really weird about killing anyone for all that he still does it.

Oh, it was bad before, but now he's slowly but surely whittling away at his own species when there will never be another new vampire. Everyone who's here now is everyone who's going to be here forever. Aro will never meet anyone knew, civilization will never change from what it was, all they have left is each other until even they die out likely due to their own stupidity of killing all life again.

I imagine the gang's mostly just very very depressed about all of this and that Aro's new goal is "preserve what we have" and see that what's left of vampires/humanity isn't wiped out in the most agonizing, stupid, way possible.

I imagine Aro's also searching far and wide for any surviving humans. Praying to god it's enough to, perhaps someday, bring back the human species. There's probably a lot of trips to remote island chains the world over where he'd hope hungry vampires didn't eat fucking everyone.

[greenapricot]

2023 fic year in review

Doing my 2023 fic year in review in February bc that's how things are going in 2024 so far.

Total number of fic: 5 (1 still in progress)

Total word count: 24,217

Fandoms written in: Lewis (3), Endeavour (1), Our Flag Means Death (1)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Less. Though I didn't really have any specific expectations about quantity, just that I wanted to write things I enjoyed writing regardless of the reception, as opposed to past years when I was fixated on the idea of writing a certain amount of fic per month. 2023 felt much more relaxed writing-wise and I'm also about halfway through a super self-indulgent fic that is probably going to end up being around 20k and I'm very pleased with that.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? The Names of All the Winds (Lewis, James/Robbie, magical realism au, alternate meeting). The aforementioned fic that's half done. I am having so much fun reliving my own holiday on Lake Garda by sending slightly alternate universe Robbie and James there and also writing magical realism which I hadn't done in a while.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wouldn't call it a risk exactly, but Patterns Unfamiliar (Lewis, James/Robbie, hurt/comfort) was a fun challenge. My writing is usually very visual and it was interesting to have to describe what was happening in the story when the POV character was in complete darkness.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? Finish TNoAtW, which I'm actively working on and hope to manage by the end of March.

And I've said this the last two years running, but I really do want to finish the sequel to Lead me wild to your dark roads my Lewis/Shetland xover (currently titled The last place we left off). I did do a fair amount of work on it before I entered the fic challenge that spawned TNoAtW, and wrote a good portion of the Shetland fic interlude that I've realized needs to go between the two stories. So both of those are next in line after TNoAtW.

Then there's the Blackbeard's Building & Renovation fic idea that was spawned in discord, in which Ed is a builder and Stede an interior decorator (each with their own crews) and they are both hired to work on the same house at the same time. Some kind of OFMD/Grand Designs-ish fusion. And, as ever, those three Lewis casefics that are mostly plotted and not anywhere close to completion.

Most popular story of the year? One thing at a time (Lewis, James/Robbie). It was spring, I had allergies, so I wrote a fic in which James had allergies. It seems to resonate with folks :D

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Nothing like poetry (Endeavour, post-s6 Ronnie Box angst). It has the least number of comments and kudos, but I don't actually think it's under-appreciated. Ronnie Box ruminating on the terrible mess his life is post-s6 is just very niche.

Most fun story to write: TNoAtW for all the reasons I mentioned above and adding my own photos to it. And it remains fun.

Most unintentionally telling story: I should probably make up another question to go here bc I never have a good answer for this, but The Most Remarkable Thing (OFMD, Ed/Stede, domestic fluff) was basically me putting my love of gardening and living a quiet life in the woods into fic form.

Biggest disappointment: I wouldn't say it was a disappointment, but I really did think I was going to finish the Lead me wild sequel in 2023. I think I'll finally finish it in 2024 though (this time for sure).

Biggest surprise: TNoAtW growing into what looks like it will be the third longest fic I've ever written.

Tagging people just for the fun of it (no pressure though): @bryndeavour, @thankyouforbeingsowrong, @vita-s-west, @mcgstarroar, @mr-iskender, @ronniebox

[spotaus]

Thinking Thoughts about Tulpa so I'm gonna write them and see if the Art Ghost comes back later to help fill in the gaps.

So, "Tulpa" is a nickname that's actually given to the pair indirectly by Nightmare.

In this AU he and Dream don't reconsile anytime soon, but he's one of the first to notice how weak his twins magic is. Dust landed a solid hit, so of *course* Dream is weak, but it's for a weirdly extended amount of time. He doesn't worry too much, he kinda hopes Dream is off somewhere is immense pain, but he definitely knows something is up.

When he finally encounters Dream again in battle, he notices how his brother's movements are choppy. Less fluid, as though he's expecting more reach from his arms or more length in his legs. As though he jumps too far abd is too light to balance. It reminds him of when he was first corrupted, when he couldn't move with his long and extra limbs. And Dream feels... muffled. Like his soul is being covered by something, a cloak of some kind. His aura is dampened too. Night isn't quite sure what it is, it's his brother's eyes and wayward convictions, but he can't share the feeling.

Then there's the day Dream's body seems to move on its own to avoid an ambush he certainly didn't see. The way Night recognizes, then, the glint in his dark socket. Dream had a tag-along. And while he wasn't sure who or what it was yet, he knew that his brother was different now. He told his boys that Dream was a 'Tulpa', something made up of the desires or those around him.

Nightmare knew his twin should still be unmoving. Maybe not dead, but his soul wasn't strong enough to support his body with that lasting injury Dust had caused. Dream would never give up the fight as long as there were people who wanted him to fight. Now he was giving up everything, even when he'd lost control of his body, to fight a useless war.

The gang started calling Dream 'Tulpa' when they saw him, which in turn led to Dream letting Fresh reveal himself sooner rather than later. Dream didn't hate the nickname though, so he asked others to adopt it later on.

Dream and Fresh aren't a fusion, but they are Soul-Bound now.

It was immediately after Fresh took his first bite of Dream's soul that it happened.

The Golden Apple which acts as Dream's soul has been storing his love and compassion and hope for YEARS now. Ever since he absorbed it. Just like every monster, it's the core of his being. Yet it's more. It's also the thing that compels him to uphold the balance, to fight Nightmare, to try and make everyone happy. He desires a peaceful world, so he does what he can to achieve that thanks to the apple's influence.

Fresh? He wants to feel full. Upon eating the apple, he is fundamentally altered. Not only can he survive like Dream does (absorbing positivity) but he also is Addicted to the aura of the apple. Dream has no part in this, it's just the nature of the Apples.

From the moment he took a bite, Fresh actively became... like... idk an Avatar (think The Magnus Archives) of that damn apple. Just-so-happens it's also bound to Dream, who has a vessel that just... Doesn't Decay.

Thanks to the apple, sometimes Dream abd Fresh act more like one person, each comfortably settled in the vessel at once. Sometimes they'll answer for themselves amd eachother. It's hard to unentagle them once Fresh finds it in him to be more devoted to Dream. So, they take on the name Tulpa to help save people some embarrassment.

Fresh can still leave Dream and inhabit other bodies.

Like I said, Fresh is Addicted to the apple, and Dream is the perfect body to linger in. But, sometimes two heads is better than one, or they have different plans that overlap. It's uncomfortable, like missing a piece of jewelry you always wear or forgetting your phone at home, so they don't do it often.

The good news is, Fresh is now much less likely to kill his hosts. He thrives on positivity now like Dream, and negativity (like from getting taken over by a parasite) actually feels like something to him now. So, he usually finds a willing host he can borrow the body of for an hour or two (his go-to is actually usually Blue (He cares a lot about Dream and trusts Fresh won't hurt him) or Ccino (too nice to really tell him no? Usually just a taste of Uncomfy rather than Terror).)

Once, Blue let Fresh take his body for the sake of hanging out with Dream in the omega timeline. They danced and had food and explored as much as they dared. They were able to hold hands and nuzzle skulls and kiss and hug and it was nice. Fresh likes to be able to give Dream a break sometimes, but he also loves to be able to smother him with affectionate actions from the outside and really get a good look at Dream's face.

Dream likes being able to hold Fresh's hands and see him in his full outfit without it being super baggy on himself. Dream *also* thinks it's a little weird when he kisses Fresh, knowing the body isn't technically his, but Blue (the wingman of all time) has given permission, and Dream doesn't do it often anyways.

And once or twice Fresh had appeared at a location after Dream arrives and scared the living heck out of folks just for fun.

DreamEater AU was a name I came up with after about 5 seconds of thought, but it IS symbolic.

So, it's kinda on the nose. Dream's soul is getting "eaten" by Fresh. That was the first reason I called it that, but the follow-up reasoning is just that... my headcanon for Dream is that he's constantly being eaten up by guilt, and stress, and the weight of expectations all baring down on him.

Dream, at this point in the au, never has a moment of positivity for himself. Always playing peace-keeper for everyone but himself, and he's hit his fuse. When Dust injures Dream, Dream is paralyzed from his neck down, some sort of magic flow imbalance. He literally cannot pick himself up and force himself to keep going.

That is, of course, until Fresh comes along and takes over Dream's vessel. Fresh literally eats him, yeah, but once they finally get to talking, Fresh eats away at Dream's persona. Fresh keeps Dream from overworking himself for people who don't need the help, he keeps Dream from being a push-over, and gives Dream a reason to be imperfect without shame. He literally eats away at the "Dream" people thought they knew and gives him a healthier and happier view on life.

And honestly, Fresh isn't even doing it out of kindness for Dream. His second nature is to call out bullshit when he sees it, and he just happens to see... a lot of it.

So, yeah, DreamEater AU is both silly and serious :) but wholly self-indulgent.

[damnslippyplanet]

@leupagus requested, and her wish is my command. At least on a Monday morning when I'd rather be thinking about fic than my weekend email backlog. So:

List five of your least-popular fics, as well as when/why you wrote them.

the green place, Word of Honor modern AU, YeXie, 2021

This was a little string of YeXie Week ficlets based on word prompts. Friend Ritualist* and I had been batting around some ideas for a Plant Witch Xie'er fic in the DMs and I thought I'd use YeXie week to play around with the character voices/world a little and see how I liked writing those two. I had a lovely time writing it, but semi-connected short ficlets where the rimming is (just barely) off-screen are a hard sell. Also I left it marked incomplete for a long time thinking I might go back and finish out the week's prompts, so I'm sure it got passed over by the very wise people who don't read WIPs. No regrets, I like knowing Plant Witch Xier'er is out there even if he'll probably never really get written.

*babe, I'm blanking out and can only think of your pro author tumblr name and not your fandom one, if you're seeing this and wanna be linked, drop your fandom url in the comments and I'll link you up

The Desert Dreams of a River, Darkangel Trilogy, Aeriel/Irrylath, Erin/OFC, 2019.

Yuletide fic! With the hit count you expect for a Yuletide genfic based on one of your formative pieces of circa-1982 fiction about a girl trying to reform a vampire while they live on the terraformed moon. Written in a frantic haze just short of deadline, if I recall, as I'd started a different angle on it that didn't quite work. I'm not saying this story was just an excuse to get Erin a wife, but it was sort of that, since the prompt didn't really allow for Erin to wife Aeriel. (But she SHOULD HAVE. Let Aeriel Have A Husband And A Wife.) I loved these books so much. Unfortunately something must be really fucked with the licensing because only the third of the trilogy was available as an ebook at the time and that doesn't seem to have changed? Pick up a hard copy of the first book if you ever see one, though.

every word is nonsense, Only Friends, Ray&Sand, 2023

Another little tidbit of a fic as an exercise in character voice again and also how much I liked how much the show likes their smoking scenes. Look. I'm a person of a certain age who smoked like a chimney as a teenager and into my early twenties, and I can't help the programming that got into my bones about the inherent eroticism of sharing a cigarette. (lolsob, high five to my fellow Thai BL nerds, how are we all doing this week with the one-two- punch of the DFF shotgunning scene and the new 4 minutes teaser? it's fine, i'm fine.) I wrote this thinking that next I would write some RaySand smut and then didn't because the whirl of Thai BL fandom pulled me on to something else, but at some point I want to rewatch this show and may still write it then because it fed my FirstKhao shipper heart so well.

dizzy in your wake, Nirvana in Fire, Changsu/Jingyan, 2020?

I'm not the one who said "what if Mei Changsu were a were-octopus," that was a series of amazing twitter threads by @astronicht. But people just KEPT sending it to me because I am known to think octopus content is very cool and also to be a Mei Changsu Girlie, and eventually a couple of friends shook me until 600 words of ridiculousness came out. What surprises me is not that this one has few kudos, but that it has >10 kudos at all. I would say this is the most niche and silly thing I've written except I've also written MDZS/Jupiter Ascending fusion fic, so let's not pretend I have any dignity left. Written in 2020 but it didn't get posted until later because I don't usually post things this short. At some point I was in one of those "it's an ARCHIVE, we should put ALL THE THINGS THERE" moods and slapped a few NiF ficlets written for the group chat up there.

A Second Dose, Hannibal, Bev/Freddie, 2016

This was the thing where you write an odd little rarepair and it's so much fun you come back and do a sequel you hadn't meant to write. I'd written Bev/Freddie before and then when a Hannibal rarepair fest came around I was like, hey, what if I did that again. Possibly I just wanted to revisit the cat named after Rosalind Franklin that I'd made up for Bev.

[transingthoseformers]

Tarn definitely still has his tank kibble but he's got his OG colors back and his face is mended if scared. Thinking maybe a bronze or coper colored patch though because the material adhered better.(pretty color combination)

The Maltos recognize the Deceptacon badge but Damus is chill, and not acting hostile or threatening to them. His main concern was for Nickel. Mostly he was asking questions that boil down to him ascertaining the sparklings were in a safe home situation. To his minor surprise the answer was yes.

Damus knows Megatron's going to flip and try to find him it's why he gave the young ones his name. Damus wants to talk with Megatron and he's hiding out because he can't blend. Let Megatron find him. They can have out whatever they will have far from the younglings.

What's alarming Bee and Dot more than Damus initially is what happened to Prion. There is a little medic with big PTSD out there that needs help. Also this is intel about the wider universe boss-bot needs. Dot is torn between personally insulted and approving on general principle that Damus wanted to afirm her babies were safe. Alex is tentatively optimistic about the devlopemt.

Megatron is so suprised by Damus' description. No mask, no purple except for his badge, blue optics and biolights. He's describing Tarn and the fusion cannon is at home and the kids are well he was a tank but none of the rest is right. Plus he didn't transform at all just carried Nickel in his arms. Megatron is confused as well as panicking.

I had the stupid thought that in this AU! Pharma snaped and blew up Mestasanine by detanating all the Nucleon instead of the red rust virus and by chance Tarn and Nickel were off planet while the rest stayed behind. Maybe they were grounded or had temporarily "lost recreational activity privileges."

Yessss such a pretty color combo!!!

Awww yep yep, Damus cares🥰

Makes sense he's waiting for Meggsie to look for him rather than the opposite, there's a conversation between those two that needs to happen and Damus doesn't want it to be a surprise (in case it doesn't end well)

Makes sense that Dot and Bee are thinking that, especially considering Nickel's reaction and the information that the cybertronians outside of earth are definitely definitely not safe (and what if the black box consorta comes to earth??? They cannot have that.)

Sdgjjss yeah. She's proud of how she's raising the kids, and on one hand it's nice to know someone else is looking out for them too. But it also kinda stings that someone would be suspicious of her over it.

Megs is having so many big feeling about this, and what he knows of Tarn isn't matching up with what the kids are saying about Damus. Like, from what we can see, Megatron just is part of the Malto family in his own way. I feel like I'm entirely right on this. He has proven time and time again to be greatly protective of the kids, and part of him is afraid of what Damus could do to them. Confused and panicking indeed.

I can see WHY Pharma would make that decision in his scenario, it is a lot simpler than the Red Rust plan and he was rather desperate.

Hilarious then sad thought but Tarn had indeed lost planet privileges (that, or a factor of him being sick from something more mundane than the bleeding red plague) and Nickel was supervising, so they sent the others to do their usual deal which. Saying it went south is an understatement. I'm imagining that finding out what happened was an incredibly angsty moment, and I feel like it was another thing that made Damus reevaluate himself (after all, this was pretty much his fault because he pushed Pharma well past the breaking point for the sake of his dual addictions).

I can also see a situation where the Red Rust had progressed much faster than anticipated and the other members of the DJD caught it, after all wasn't Pharma's original plan for it to nail Tarn?? (After all it's centered around the T-cog. Not only does it prove deadly upon transforming, but it very probably makes the T-cog of the corpses entirely unusable. The Red Rust Plague very much was made with Tarn in mind.) And, I mean. There's no Ratchet and crew to have stopped it in canon (.... ... Unless, there was and it didn't work?? That would sure as hell explain why we don't see earthspark Ratchet in this au)

[girlwithakiwi]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @elder-flower

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32 (20 are user-locked)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,238,164

3. What fandoms do you write for?

For the past five years, it has been iterations of A Song of Ice and Fire (the book canon, Game of Thrones, and House of the Dragon). Prior to that, I've written fics for Sailor Moon, Gundam Wing, Kingdom Hearts, Fushigi Yuugi, High School Musical, RENT, The Dresden Files, Harry Potter, Glee, and BBC Sherlock.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the gather, the bend, the bringing forth (Game of Thrones S8 canon divergence)

some nights the lighthouse, some nights the sea (transatlanticism) (Game of Thrones S7 canon divergence)

the silhouette of a single memory (Game of Thrones reincarnation AU)

all the ground beneath with tears and blood (Game of Thrones/The Vampires Diaries fusion)

where ruin also exists (A Song of Ice and Fire, post-ADWD)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Even before I started writing in the ASOIAF fandom, I did tend to write bittersweet endings. Loss and grief is a fascinating frame of reference for an otherwise happy ending and I've always liked being able to write about those conflicting emotions. That said, it was probably never let me go.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Haha, lmao—this is definitely the silhouette of a single memory and its adjoining prompt ficlets.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My canon divergent fics for Game of Thrones sometimes get the rare grumpy butt but honestly, I pay too much in taxes to be bothered by someone trying to be snide behind the anonymity of a computer screen.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure? I think my smut is pretty tame compared to a lot of stuff I read but I do write it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, I've written plenty. Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing and Game of Thrones/The Vampire Diaries might be the craziest though, considering how ridiculously dissimilar the two canon sources are.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

the gather, the bend, the bringing forth has its beginning chapters translated into Russian here

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes and no. My old RP partner @lyrangalia and I used to email RP during slow days at work and through that was born the AMD and Silvered Lightning universes. But since these technically never started as fic, then it's kind of in that weird uncategorized space.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

All time? I'm not sure if I have a single one that takes the top spot. I've liked Tomberly (MMPR), Willabeth (POTC), Neal/Sara (White Collar), Parker/Eliot/Hardison (Leverage), and Jonerys (ASOIAF) but I love them all equally.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hands down, Arcana. The reason I won't finish it is because I fell out of love with the source material (it didn't age well) and the author of said source material (he's kind of an asshole!). I do still love the character that this fic revolves around and it's removed enough from the source material that I could finish it but...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization and dialogue, probably? Who knows.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Characterization and dialogue, lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Eh. It can be done and I've done it a few times honestly. I don't make a habit of it because it's just a bit of a headache to translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Based on re-readability? a silhouette of a single memory and where ruin also exists

No pressure tags: @jellybeanficwriter @moondancer71 @zavocado @kiaxet @luthien-under-bough @calenlily

[videogametako]

boyfriendgame: devlog week 1

days - feb 23, 28; mar 1, 3

well it's, honestly kinda like a day 1 for today (march 3) but uh, let's say thinking about what to do counts for now.

those earlier days i was doing minor tweaks to the game mechanics, changed the default walking speed to my liking and added area spawn mechanics via an add-on, so that patch of broken tiles gives a different kind of enemy than the rest of the place. neat

i've thought of what to do with the game and the ones i mainly gravitated to were:

make it a roguelike, naturally (probs influenced by playing emerald rogue a fair bit)

spell fusion/crafting - uh so i remember reading somewhere that dnd takes its spell slot inspiration from a magic system that had people forget how to cast the spell when they do, so i thought having to hold spells in inventory and having the ability to mix match fuse attributes could be fun, maybe

turn order ui - i just like these

initiative-based combat mechanic, thing - uhh, basically i wanted to see if i can make turn-based combat interesting and i thought if you call out all your moves first, setting the order who attacks, and your entire party only attacking when the first person in order acts (hence, you're all as slow as the unit with higher initiative) which, sounds like it'd be cool in concept ? maybe

anyway, i kinda didn't do any of that today and just decided to make an options menu because the volume is always so loud

it wasn't that hard to figure out how to add it. ended up repurposing Scene_Menu for the options script, and well it worked out fairly okay i think (i thought)

.

.

.

a fair amount later.

could not get it to properly remove just the audio options on X so uh i just used a script from the internet

uhm

nevermind, i fiddled around with it a bit more and i'm not entirely sure what's wrong

that was a few hours wasted, honestly, i don't think i'll be doing that any time soon. so, i think, maybe i should just focus on mapping out starting areas based on the very vague story/plot i have in mind

that being absolutely nothing, of course

i found a few more custom menu scripts so uh, gonna look into that like, eventually. i'm not even sure how to implement unique gameplay mechanics into this now, too. jeez, much less a whole roguelike gameplay loop

i think i'm starting to understand the appeal of making a story-based puzzle horror game on rpgmaker. hmm, i wanna try getting a fun turn-based combat rpg still somehow, though

[notdogice]

So I want to show off some of my Pony Town cosplays because I just feel like doing so. This first batch is just going to be various one off cos' that I've made over the years that I haven't made any others that would justify a tag ingame. Some of these are old and probably needs an update while others are ones that I've made more recently.

Gohis. While I do have have Deltarune and DBZ tags in Pony Town, I'd rather just stick this one here. Made this in 2022 to match my pfp, if that wasn't already obvious.

Aku. My oldest cos coming from 2017. As you can see here, I have actually updated him over the years for he is one of my beloveds.

Chuck Quizmo. He's the newest cos in this bunch as I made him a few months ago. Also don't mind that one green dot, didn't realize it was there until after I finished writing this post. It's fixed now.

Fern. I originally made her back in 2018 and updated her around 2019. Might update her once more.

Zolo. Yes this is a 4Kids One Piece dub cos. If you seen the clip, you can hear this image. This cos only works ingame. Made in 2022.

Hawkodile. Made him in 2019 when Unikitty was a fandom that you could see a fair sized group of on PT.

Hermes v1. Originally made in 2018 that I've touched up a little sometime in 2021(20?).

Tight Pants (Leslie Hall). Truly an icon. Made in 2022. Might update her.

Linebeck. One of my beloveds, and I can't believe that it took me until 2022 to make him in PT.

Lord Betrayus. Another beloved. Made him in 2021. Fun fact, this isn't the first Betrayus cos I've made. The first one I did was in Creatures of Sonaria of all places.

Lord Dominator. Made her in 2022. Meant to be a show accurate cos. Actually, a lot of my cos' are made to be accruate to the source material, no matter how difficult it may be. There are a few exceptions though.

Lord Kogane. Holy fuck it's another one of my beloveds, but this time from a show that I literally have not seen anyone else have a cos for. I might evetually make one for Tengu, but I still have flashbacks to when I was trying to find reference pictures for Kogane. Obviously made in 2022.

Mira. A 2019 cos that I have updated since then. She might need another one though.

Mohawk Cat. I struggled a lot while making this one, and those reasons aren't very obvious from the final product. 2022.

Nezuko. Can't remember if she was December 2021, or Janurary 2022. Either way, I might update her, but I really don't want to either.

One Winged HHGreg. He is the perfect fusion. Very much December 2021. I have him fliped here because you can't see the wing the other way. Also if you know the video, you can here this image.

Pink Sheep. Woah, another 2017 cos! I have updated him, but a part of me wants to update him again.

Pinkie Pie. That's right, this is my only cannon MLP character cos on PT. Made her in 2017 and I have updated her, but only barely.

Rosemary. High Guardian Spice Abridged made me want to make a HGS cos. Another 2022 cos. Possibly might make more of these cursed beings.

Samurai Jack. This dude has literally never been touched since 2017. Haven't played as him since then, and never been updated. Absloute raw 2017 PT energy. If I wanted to work on him, I wouldn't even bother with this relic and just make an entire new pony.

TBH. Last but not least, autism creature. Technically only works ingame with a custom expression just to move the eye highlights up, but still works just as fine in the editor. 2022.

[luna-moonpack]

The Wild Poem

Plot- Y/n had captured Megatron using their creations to tie him up. They then took Megatron to their hidden base.

Ship- Sub! Megatron x Dom! Reader

Kinks- Bondage, Collar/leash, praising, begging, overstimulation.

Megatron was with Dottie making sure the seekers were going to be 'peaceful' while being transported but suddenly the trailer of the truck burst open to reveal the spider droids, they all bounced on Megatron and tied him up immediately. Y/n revealed themselves, "Hello Megatron." She greeted him before looking at his human friend. Y/n tried to convince her to leave but she didn't, one of the seekers zapped onto Megatron shoving a droid into Megatron's intake to silence him while in the process he fell forward. Megatron looked up at Y/n, his red optics looking at them. They smiled as they cuffed his human friends and walked her into the trailer, shutting it behind her as Megatron was lifted into the air and taken to the hidden base while Y/n drove their human capture over to the base.

Once Megatron was in the secret base, he was forced to his knees, a rare sight to most. Y/n walked over to Megatron admiring how he looked on his knees once more, "Megatron, Relax. This will only hurt as much as I want it to." Y/n told him with a smirk as their eyes wandered onto his lips and down his body before looking into his optics. Y/n started to examine Megatron’s fusion canon, it was beautiful. Y/n started to rethink taking the Fusion canon. They tapped his chest, “Hm, You’re well built.” Y/n spoke, “Built enough to destroy you and your spider creations.” He snarled, earning a jolt of electricity. Megatron gritted his teeth and groaned, ‘his groans…” Y/n thought as they slightly blushed a bit. Y/n then placed their hands on Megatron’s chest, Megatron felt his spark whirl and beat faster as he bit down a groan. Y/n started to move their hands down Megatron’s body to understand his build more, Megatron continued to hold back groans before Y/n reached his panels.

Y/n felt heat coming from the panels, Then they heard a ‘click’ and whirling sound. Megatron’s cooling fans had clicked on a low setting. “Interesting,” Y/n said as they had Megatron lie down on a berth and soon they found a button to manually remove the panels which they pressed. Megatron’s panels hissed before sliding back with a ‘click’ revealing his pressurized spike and lubricating valve which glisten slightly due to the dim lights. “So you do have those parts,” Y/n spoke as they smirk and lowered themselves to get a better look, “No, Stop-” Megatron commanded but trailed off into a groan as Y/n wrapped their hands around his huge pressurized spike. “Beautiful.” Y/n gasped, as they rubbed Megatron’s spike before licking the slit on his spike. “Primus!” Megatron groaned in pleasure, Y/n smirked and decided to work on Megatron’s valve. Y/n lowered themselves to Megatron’s lubricating valve and spotted his red anterior node, they began to rub it a few times earning groans.

Y/n then started to suck on his anterior node earning a moan from Megatron which caused him to be flustered. Y/n soon pulled away from his node, “Alright, let’s make a deal.” Y/n spoke gainings Megatron’s attention. “You let me fuck you and then you're free to go along with your canon,” Y/n spoke suggesting, “You’ll let me go?” Megatron asked. “Yup! Though I’m sure you’ll be back wanting more~” Y/n teased with a smirk, Megatron debated on it before saying “Fine.” Megatron didn’t believe they'd let him go but then again he was deep in arousal and wanted it to die down quickly. Megatron went into his mass displacement form so they could interface easier, Megatron was still bound. Y/n had Megatron lie down on a berth, Y/n began to kiss down his body earning small soft groans from Megatron. Y/n soon made it down to Megatron's spike and kissed up Megatron's shaft to the head of his spike.

Megatron groaned softly as he felt Y/n kiss up his spike. Y/n took the head of Megatron's spike in their mouth and began to lick around the head of his spike. Y/n began to take more of Megatron's spike while slipping two fingers inside Megatron's valve and began to thrust them in and out of his valve earning moans from Megatron as his back struts arched a bit causing Y/n to take even more of his spike. Y/n had begun to bob their head up and down while thrusting their fingers quicker inside his valve earning more groans from the mech. Y/n tasted a bit of pre-fluid from Megatron's spike as they deepthroated his spike, Y/n added another finger and kept thrusting. Their fingers were brushing up against Megatron's sensitive spot within his valve causing him to groan loudly, his back struts to arch, and for him to get closer to overload.

Y/n felt Megatron's spike twitch inside their mouth as they continued to bob their head up and down, feeling his spike in their throat while thrusting their fingers deep inside Megatron's valve. Y/n soon felt a warm liquid pour down their throat and Megatron's walls clenching around their fingers, Y/n pulled Megatron's still hardened out of their mouth with a slight 'pop' and pulled their fingers out. Y/n could hear whirring coming from Megatron, His cooling fans had clicked on at a medium level. "You did such a good job, good boy~" Y/n praised as they went up and wrapped a collar with a leash attached to it around Megatron's neck, he felt himself blush and charged. "you said-" Megatron was cut off by Y/n yanking the leash that was wrapped around their hand. "One more round." Y/n cooed as they removed their clothes and climbed on top of Megatron, Y/n rubbed their entrance against Megatron's spike.

Megatron was blushing insanely as his spike twitched eagerly, wanting more attention, Megatron gasped softly, feeling the tip of his spike slipping inside Y/n's entrance. 'More pleasure- wait am I actually enjoying interfacing with a human?!' He thought to himself before shaking it off since pleasure had taken control, He suddenly whined when he felt the tip of his spike slip out. "If you want it. Beg. Like the good boy you are~" Y/n said seductively, Megatron swallowed his pride. "Please use my spike!" Megatron begged, Y/n hummed, not really convinced. "and milk me of every last drop of trans fluid I have!" He begged more, earning a smile from Y/n, "Good job." They praised as they slipped Megatron's spike back inside fully causing Y/n to gasp at his size. Megatron moaned, feeling how tight Y/n's entrance is, "Your spike is so perfect~" Y/n moaned softly as they pulled on the leash, having Megatron looked up at them with his spike deep inside them.

He watched as they moved up, only leaving the tip inside them before moving down. They began to bounce up and down his spike, moaning softly as Megatron groaned loudly. "Look at you are being so good to me~" Y/n purred in his audio receptors before kissing down his neck, he shuddered softly as they did. "Here's a gift for being such a good boy," Y/n spoke as they made a hand motion to one of their spider creations after a few seconds, he felt something slip inside his valve and saw a remote of sorts in Y/n's hand. Y/n moved the dial on the remote up and immediately Megatron felt vibrations inside Megatron's valve causing moans to erupt from the gray mech, “such beautiful sounds~” Y/n spoke ecstatically as Megatron’s spike hit all the right spots. Megatron's spike started to hit Y/n's sensitive spot in their entrance earning a loud moan, Megatron gave Y/n a pleading look which Y/n wasn't sure about but just nodded as Megatron has been a good boy. Megatron started to buck his hips into Y/n's entrance quickly as he was getting close to his second overload, Y/n felt the knot inside their stomach tighten inside.

Y/n felt the knot snap once Megatron thruster deep inside them, their walls clamped down wanting every drop of trans fluid Megatron had. Megatron felt their walls tightening around his spike which sent him into his overload, Y/n felt his overload paint their walls. Y/n collapsed on Megatron in a panting mess, "You did such an amazing job.~" she purred between pants as she soon got off and let Megatron loose since a deal was a deal. Megatron quickly left the lab to a nearby pond with no one around, and he began to clean up. `Is it weird I want more of that experience?' Megatron thought to himself as he blushed madly before going back since he needed it to seem like nothing happened between the two…or was it for more?~