#though i wonder because she’s from a. book if it’s easier? like she has pov chapters so i can directly see her Writing Vibe yk

[nolambs]

desperately need to revamp this blog and organize my muse list for the like. primary/secondary/tertiary business that’s kind of . Around. i never understood the feeling of it before but i definitely do now

[thethirdfrogbrother]

A Short Simon Snow Character Analysis:

"Simon needed time. He needed care. He still startled at bright lights and sudden noises. And prolonged eye contact. He'd get jumpy when we were alone together." (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 85)

"On the worst days, on the even worse nights, I used to think about all the bad things that have happened to Simon– just the ones I know about. And then I'd wonder about all the terrible things that have happened to him that I DON'T know about. Twenty years of bad things. How long would it take for those painful memories to die back?" (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 86)

Simon is genuinely one of the saddest chosen ones I've ever read about, and I feel like its ignored by the fandom a lot. Like the book series is always portrayed as funny and light hearted and it is sometimes but at the root it's sad and heart wrenching. However, it's also really creative and has a tone of parallels and connections and like the whole concept of the chosen one fulfilling his purpose and no longer being needed anymore isn't used often. A lot of the times the Chosen one's issues aren't even addressed at ALL its just "Oh he went through a lot as a child but the bad guy is dead now and he got the girl (or guy) so it's fine, he's happy"

Simon was used by everyone his whole life. The Mage, the rest if the world of mages, even Penny and Agatha a bit too, (which Penny realizes and admits in AWTWB). Simon was left as a child at an orphanage where we really don't know much about his life, because he doesn't know much either. In Wayward Son, Simon talks to his therapist about not remembering a lot before he was 11 and she says the brain blocks out things that have traumatized or hurt us in the past. When Simon is 11 and comes to Watford, he speaks so little the teachers have to give him private lessons, and when that doesn't work he gets a speech therapist. A few other details a are given as well such as how Simon jumped from orphanages and Foster homes. All these allow us to infer that he didn't have a good childhood, and stuff probably happened to him.

The Mage becomes Simon's only father figure, and even then Simon says he never felt like a father. The Mage treated Simon like a weapon, and even lied to him about being his father. The Mage could have made things much easier for himself by raising Simon, but he chose to just leave him till he was 11 because he didn't feel like raising his own kid. "Maybe it's part of what the Mage did to me. He said he got me wrong, that I was a cracked vessel. I can't hold on to anything good." (AWTWB pg 65) the Mage only payed attention to Simon when it benefited him. Simon was an object to him, and if you remember in Carry On, it was obvious to literally everyone but Simon, who didn't want to believe he was being manipulated. It turned him into a killing machine.

Often times I feel as if the fandom portrays Simon as some talkative goofball, but that's completely ignoring his character. Simon says in Carry On that he doesn't think because in the end he just does what people tell him too. But that's not true. He does think, all the time, he just pushes away the stuff he doesn't want to think about, thinking about other things to muffle out these unwanted thoughts. Baz also says in Carry On that most conversations with Simon are just Simon shrugging. We feel as though Simon talks a lot because when it's his POV he's always rambling, but this is because Simon has a strong inner monolouge.

Simon had no adult figures in his life to lean on. Every character had someone, despite their maybe complex relationships. Baz has Fiona, and the two are close despite the tension and arguing. Penny has her mom and dad, despite their differences, they all love each other a ton. And Agatha has her parents, who do care about her. Simon never has a firm foundation. Not the Mage, Penny's mom barley likes him, Agatha's family only treats him well because he's the chosen one and dating Agatha, and Baz's family straight up despises him. Everyone else also has friends to lean on too, once you get later into the series. Agatha has a Ginger and even Penny, Penny has Baz and Shepard, Baz has Dev and Niall whom he chooses to sort of ghost, but also Penny. And they all have Simon. But I couldn't help but notice that whenever Simon tried to communicate, he was shut down.

Simon is bad at communicating. They all address this multiple times. But it's the fact that his friends don't even have faith that he'll survive. Multiple times from all POVS it talks about how everyone expected Simon to die, and they're all talking about how they would feel and how it affects them knowing that, but no one ever asked Simon. And Simon is aware of this too, but he just once again ignores it. No one wants a hero who's scared to die for his cause. Simon is shit at communication, but he has his own ways of showing that at least something IS wrong, that Penny and Baz have learned how to read, yet ignore when it's not convenient. Baz and Penny take Simon on a trip out to America, but it wasn't about Simon. Penny had ulterior motives, to see Micah and Agatha. Then the whole situation happened there, and though obviously Baz had nothing going on with Lamb, it clearly made Simon insecure and upset. But Baz just gets annoyed at him for it instead of trying to figure out the root of the issue.

A scene that always irked me in WS is the one where Simon comes back with his hair cut, after months of neglecting it because of his depression. And Baz says nothing, because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself. This may have seemed like a small thing but Simon literally couldn't leave the couch, for almost a year. His self hatred and issues were so bad he couldn't get up. So he finally makes this step, cutting his hair, trying to get better...and Baz basically ignores it.

Another thing is the end if WS when they're on the beach. Simon is trying to say how he feels, in his own way. That he isn't good enough for Baz, Baz should find someone else. And Baz just shuts him down, like he always does. Like he always does when Simon tries to communicate his feelings about being the chosen one, and what happened with the Mage. Then they get back to England, and Baz just acts like nothing happened. Simon shouldn't have ignored all his texts, and shouldn't have moved out leaving just a note, but he doesn't know how to communicate. No one taught him how to do this, all he knows is he needs to figure his shit out and no one currently in that situation, was really helping him.

I see a lot of people hating on AWTWB because Simon and Baz break up, because their relationship is admittedly toxic, and then get together the next day. But I think it makes perfect sense. They both love each other so so much, and they have an unhealthy attachment. Often with toxic relationships, especially when we love each other and want them to work out, we keep coming back in hopes of fixing things. Both boys have severe abandonment issues, and they don't want to loose each other.

I also see people hating on WS and AWTWB because Baz and Simon aren't all happy. Like legit, that is why I see those books getting the most hate. But it makes sense. People's pasts have an effect on them and how they behave. Simon killed the only father figure really he'd ever had. And he still doesn't understand the extent of abuse said man put him through. Simon doesn't know how to put himself first. Like when they're fighting the vampire's in WS, and simon is on the brink of death, he STILL stands up because that's what people have expected him to do all his life. Baz wants everything to be okay and happy and ignore their issues, because that's what they've done his whole life in his family, ignoring problems like him being a vampire. And what Simon desperately needs is to approach his, but he doesn't know how deep his issues run, except that he's a broken, fucked up, mess. He has ptsd, depression, and anxiety, and doesn't know how to help himself.

Overall, Simon's character holds a complexity that often times I see ignored. The story is romantic, and cute. I love Snowbaz as much as the next person. But you can't fully appreciate the story until you actually understand the depth of the characters, especially starting with Simon Snow.

Thank you, have a nice day <3

[starsreminisce]

I sometimes wonder if readers would understand acotar characters and character dynamics more if it wasn’t a fantasy romance but a regular romance. I can easily imagine how the characters would interact with each other in a modern day world, it’s easier to see when a character makes a bad choice vice versa

I agree, and I think that allows for some sort of excusability or separation because it's fantasy, so it's not supposed to be real. Even though the way SJM writes about trauma, relationship dynamics, and characters feels more fleshed out and, at least to me, real.

The mating bond is probably the most fantastical aspect of the romance, and also the most important. I feel like those who ship Elucien and Gwynriel understand what it means in ACOTAR's world, while those who don't underestimate it or think it's something that can be fought against. I had someone argue that Nessian and Feysand were already in love before they acknowledged the bond, even though it was already there from the beginning.

I'm not sure it's so much about understanding, but I do feel like lines are blurred between canon and fanon, especially when someone is more likely to read fanfics than to reread the same book over and over. Certain ideas and headcanons get reinforced.

Azriel, right now, has the biggest disconnect in my opinion, especially when people say that "it doesn't seem like him" when the author wrote in his own POV - the chapter reads like a bad fanfic, sure, but to say that the perspective of the character that SJM created does not align with what they thought of is a little arrogant.

The mating bond is the crux of the ship war. Azriel has waited 500 years for a bond to snap with Mor. Should he be with someone who seems like she wants to reject her bond to be with him, even though she will never fully be his, or should he continue waiting until the Mother chooses to finally reveal to him his mate?

To me, with how SJM explained the mating bond in ACOMAF, Az deserves his mate.

But I will say, even without the bond, SJM took the time to highlight each mated pair's similarities and complement what they are lacking. Each pair that she decided to team with works with or without the bond.

So it still stems back: Should Az be with someone who triggers these negative feelings of self-worth, or should Az be with someone who he is thankful for the distraction of said negative feelings?

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

“Hard Boot” - Dean x Reader

Part of the “Control Panel” Series

Rating Mature

Dean x Reader (Newly Established Intimate Relationship)

Tags: Dean Angst and Self-Loathing, Inability to Word, Adult Language, Dean POV

Word Count: 2500

After one night of sexual exploration, a case lured you both back into hunting mode. There was hardly time to breathe, let alone figure out how you were collectively supposed to handle this new aspect of your relationship. Is it any wonder Dean had to go and mess it up? That’s his expertise.

Note: You don’t have to read the first part, Factory Reset, to get the gist of this “What the heck are we supposed to do now? Friends to lovers” trope. But if you’re intrigued by these two, please try it.

I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo and this part will fill my "Admit it." square.

Image created in Canva (credit for photo used:  Supernatural/Warner Bros.)

The shot glass tinks atop the counter. It’s barely audible. Dean glances up and the bartender appears, summoned by the tell tale call of a drunk.

Not just any drunk. The Fuck It Up Seven Ways To Sunday kind of drunk. Also known as Dean Winchester.

The bar is deserted. It’s 1:00 pm on a Wednesday outside the touristy parts of New Orleans.

The bartender tips the whiskey bottle in her hand. Dean nods. She pours.

“So, what exactly are you tryna drown, cher? Cause it might be easier to head a little north and walk into Lake Pontchartrain.”

Dean snorts. “Trust me, that’s crossed my mind.”

All the wrinkles in the older woman’s face droop along with her frown. “It can’t be that bad. Unless you’re broke… or your heart is.” 

Dean shifts atop the stool. “My wallet’s full, thanks. Leave the bottle.”

Dean grunts at his inability to put one foot in front of the other trekking down the hallway to the hotel room. The air is spinning around him in a vortex, forcing his body to lean to the right even though his brain tries to rationally push forward. He’s in an anti-funhouse of his own creation. 

He doesn’t remember how he finally gets into the room. Just that he is. He flops on the bed. Breathes in deep and holds it. Staving off the nausea that he deserves.

You should be here. Beside him. Celebrating a win.

He closes his eyes and lets the pain and loss keep him company instead in the late afternoon.

Sleep eludes him. He tosses. Turns. Spends time with his head hanging over the toilet bowl.

He stares at the alarm clock on the nightstand as it ticks over into 10 PM territory. When his eyes peel open again, it’s sometime after 1 AM.

He sniffs the air.

He smells you.

Before he can realize it’s a mistake, he springs to sitting. The hammer nailing together a house in his head takes a back seat to the elation seeing you sat at the foot of the bed.

You look demure in your side saddle position. The patient stare has Dean wondering how long you’ve been watching him sleep.

He wants to ask. But he’s afraid anything he says is going to be wrong. So he just stares back.

Your face is void of any discernible emotion.

And that freaks Dean out more than anything. Because even when he couldn’t read you like a book, he could at least hazard a guess. Even if it was wrong, it was something.

But all he sees now is a shield. A wall that he’s caused.

“I’m gonna head out.” You state in a curt tone that leaves no room for debate.

“You already were out.” The head pounding irritation preoccupies him enough that the sass spills out, uncontrolled. Your lids slit for a second. Well, he got some reaction.

“I-” You straighten up. A sorry attempt at a laugh huffs out. “Forget it.” You’re up off the bed and snagging items dropped around the room. Things are stuffed into your bag with haste.

Dean wants the elation to return to the room. Twenty-four hours prior, you were smiling. Eager to track down the Djinn. It had been a day’s drive from Lebanon to New Orleans, with a 6-hour stop in between at the Cradle Rock Motel.

Dean would have done whatever you wanted in that motel room. All that possibility and you had him flying high on adrenaline. You’d handled him with kid gloves and given him an experience he’d cherish, even if he was still sore. He would have let you strap on Marvin again and fold him like Origami. He wanted that again. He wanted it all with you.

But all you had wanted in the end as you laid in bed was to curl up and sleep in his arms. You wanted to rest before getting back on the road in your separate rides. 

And the simple act of being with you. Static. Stationary. Silent. That was wonderful, too.

There was the promise of staying in bed for days after you took care of the monster together. Lingering lips. Suggestive smirks. Greedy gropes.

All of that was a distant memory now.

You throw the duffle over your shoulder. “Bye, Dean.”

He bungees off the bed. Rushes to the door to wedge between you and the exit. “That’s it?” His stomach roils at the exertion but he pushes it down.

Your voice doesn’t waver. “For now. Yeah.”

Dean holds his ground for another second. Two. Three. Four.

“Don’t make it worse.” You plead.

That reminds him the ownness of this whole mess is in fact on him. And he relinquishes.

And watches you walk out the door.

 

Dean clinks down the iron bunker stairs. Three weeks of hunting non-stop has joints creaking, muscles aching. He plans to beeline it to the showers and let the glorious water pressure ease some of the pain. There’s also an 80-year old bottle of Macallan in his bedroom that will ease everything else.

Sam’s out at Eileen’s. The texts back and forth earlier were short and mainly for informational purposes. Sam gave up trying to find out what was going on with Dean two weeks back. As long as he checked in and provided proof of life, Sam didn’t pester for details.

Dean marches through the war room, into the library, weaves the labyrinth of halls to get to his room.

He keeps his head down when he rounds the final corner. He doesn’t want to glimpse the door marked number 16 at the end of the hallway. It’s your bedroom. Well, whenever you crash at the bunker it’s yours.

There’s a twist in his gut when he realizes you might never sleep in that bed or cross the threshold into the Men of Letters homebase again.

He’s been avoiding returning because of all the reminders of you. The wound is as fresh and festering as it was when you left him in New Orleans. He can distract from the pain during moments occupied with cases and bad guys. This, not so much.

He opens his door, good ole number 11. 

When he left this room last, you were here with him. 

And goddammit. You’re all he can see no matter where his gaze lands.

The duffle drops onto the mattress. Another musty bed in another room in another hallway might be a better alternative tonight.

He considers it. He’ll decide for sure after his shower.

Dean grumbles when he gets back to the room.

It shouldn’t be possible and his mind must be playing tricks on him, but he thinks he catches the scent of you. 

Yeah, he can’t sleep in here tonight.

He runs a hand through his towel dried hair and peels off Tad’s robe. He toes out of the slippers and tugs on a pair of sweats and a well-worn henley. The realization he’s donned the shirt inside out takes a backseat to the more important matter of grabbing the bottle of Macallan.

He shuffles over in bare feet and squats by the cabinet under his desk. His mouth is watering in anticipation of that smooth amber-colored nectar coating his throat.

“What the fuck?” he mumbles in confusion.

The bottle is gone.

“Looking for this?”

Dean stills at the question floating over his shoulder.

The voice isn’t something he expected to hear back at the bunker anytime soon. Maybe ever.

He rises, inhales through his nose. Mentally prepares for when he turns and faces you.

When he does rotate on his heels, he purses his lips into a tight line. He can’t let the impulse to smile win out.

You're wearing one of his flannels. It’s the black, white and gray one he hasn’t worn in ages. And the way the sweatpants hang loose and baggy and obscure your feet; well, he’s pretty sure those are his, too. Leaning against the doorsill, you look as if you’re trying way too hard to appear casual about any of this. The bottle of Macallan in your grip is displayed as a peace offering.

There’s the tiniest grin quirking up your lips. You look at the bottle, then to Dean. “I was keeping an eye on it.”

Dean inspects the liquid level of the scotch as a distraction. If he stares at that mouth of yours a second longer, he’ll forgive you for anything.  “That’s about four fingers lighter than when I left.”

Your brows raise. Mouth opens. Dean knows you're ready to dispute his measurements. But something else clicks in Dean’s head and he doesn’t give you a chance.

“How long have you been staying here?”

You sigh and enter the bedroom. The bottle rests on the tiny corner table. You collapse into the chair beside it. “This’ll be my third night.”

Dean stands there. Blinks. You settling in is hopefully a good sign.

“Sam gave me a heads up that you were coming back some time tonight.”

“Why didn’t you high tail it out of here when you got wind of me?” Dean asks.

Your mouth tilts into a frown. “I came here to wait for your slow ass to return, Winchester.” You thumb at the bottle. “I may have needed some liquid courage during my stay to, you know, stick around.”

Dean crosses his arms, determined not to give an inch. Doesn’t matter how goddamn sexy you look. How your hair’s mussed from laying in bed. How his oversized shirt is unbuttoned enough at the collar to display the lovely expanse of skin from the column of your neck to the round of your shoulder. He prepares for the flailing you must have been wanting to give him so badly that you camped here for days. He tries not to think about how much he’d love to bend over so you can give him a spanking.

You stare up at him from the chair. “Oookaayyy.” Palms run over cloth-covered thighs. “I wanted to explain myself. Back in New Orleans.”

Dean shrugs, his crossed arms lifting up with the movement.

“We were a mess on that hunt.” You start. “All sorts of wrong. Second guessing. Getting in each other’s way. That Djinn got the upperhand on us because we were sloppy.”

Dean scoffs. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“You tackled it while I was about to kill the fucking thing.” You counter.

“You were getting choked out WHILE it was lighting up like an electric smurf.” Dean’s voice rises.

“I had the silver knife to its throat UNTIL you hip checked and then rolled around with Mr. Sandman doing the horizontal mambo.”

“Who was trying to pull it off me only to get a nasty throat punch?”

You raise both hands. “Look, my point is we were off our game. And I’ve never, ever had to worry about you having my back. Until that hunt.”

Dean rolls his shoulders like he’s ready to take flight. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Do you think I’m a good hunter?” you ask.

“What the hell kind of question is that?”

“A simple one.” A tap on the table precedes your rise. You stroll with purpose towards him. “Do you think I’m a good hunter?” you repeat.

“Of course I do. You might even be the third best hunter on the planet.”

You smile and, dammit, Dean melts a little. You clear your throat and the smile fades. “Then why didn’t you let me do my job?”

Dean stills. He watches your frame relax. The bravado seeps from your posture.

“Things are different between us now.” You sigh. “I hoped that what we did would bring us closer. More in sync on a hunt. But it did the exact opposite.” Another step brings you right up into Dean’s space. You latch onto a forearm. “Your head wasn’t in that hunt with me.”

“It was.”

You shake your head. “No. Your heart was. And so was mine.” Your voice breaks a little. “All I could think about was how I needed to protect you.”

“When do we not think about protecting a hunting partner?”

“That’s gotta go hand in hand with the mission, though; not take over.” The warm fingers drop from Dean’s arm. “I told Sam what happened.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “And what did Mr. Know It All have to say?”

Your shoulder lifts and almost touches your ear. “He said ‘welcome to the club.’”

“Huh?”

“Sam said you must care about me an awful lot if you were constantly undermining my ability to actually get the fucking job done. That sacrificing yourself is part of your DNA.” A full-watt smile - the one that makes Dean’s insides warm up - graces your face. “That you’ll die a hundred times over to prevent the recipient of all that care and concern from even getting a splinter in their thumb.” The snark in your tone is sharp and cutting. “Admit it.”

“Well, that’s just a flat out exaggeration.”

Suddenly, all of the playfulness in your expression is gone. You frown. “You don’t care about me like that?”

“What? No. I mean, yes, of course I care about you like that.”

“Good.” The smile returns. “Because I know for a fact that none of that is an exaggeration where Sam is concerned. You’ve figured out how to make it work with Sam. You and I are going to have to make that happen, too.”

Dean’s grinning back. “Any suggestions?”

“You could follow my lead and do what I say at all times.” You offer.

“I’m all about that in almost every scenario. Except when we’re hunting.”

You nod. “We’re not hunting now.” Dainty fingers clasp over his hand. “I’m sorry I ran away.” You whisper, staring into his eyes.

Your small frame belies your strength and formidable capability when it comes to a hunt. And though Dean’s only had one taste of your dominance in bed, you handled him with care and exerted contained control. But now Dean needs you to know how much he intends on proving his worth to you. He’s more than a deft hand wielding a machete. More than reliable backup. More than a decades long friend who can keep up with the tequila shots. He wants to be more than all of that for you. 

He wriggles from under the grip to clutch your face with both hands. “I wanna tough it out with you.”

Your head tilts up and down in his hold. “Me too.”

You raise on tiptoes as he dips his head. Your lips meet in a gentle brush of skin. Dean’s skin tingles all over.

It’s only a peck. Dean pulls back so he can witness the bliss on your face. Eyes closed, mouth parted. You release a sigh. “Can we…” you start to ask.

“Anything,” Dean murmurs.

“Can we go to sleep? Start fresh in the morning? I missed you.”

Dean thinks his face will crack at the force of his smile. “Absolutely.”

[ksfoxwald]

Wheel of Time - Thoughts and Spoilers

Not quite caught up on Wheel of Time, but my thoughts through episode 3:

The Seanchan design is so extra and it's absolutely perfect

Uno was... not enough of a fan favorite I guess? tbh I don't have strong opinions on him, and he's kind of one of those characters that didn't really have any relevance past book 2 but RJ kept writing obligatory scenes with him bc that man did not know how to just let characters go, so it's probably best to have him go out with a bang and be unambiguously dead in a very dramatic way.

I'm glad they did let him say "fuck" before he died, though, having a character whose only personality trait is that he swears all the time in a world where the worst swear is "bloody" is weaksauce.

Elayne is such a delightfully earnest but not in touch at all princess, I love it, it's like the perfect balance of clearly privileged but still honorable without being all "not like Other Nobles."

actually all the characters' personalities pop more in the show, like RJ never really gave his characters more personality than Stoic Man and Scheming Woman; and when he tried it was just a sort of weak, washed out personality. In hindsight I honestly don't know why I liked those books so much. I think some of it was because the world was so vast and the characters were so bland it was easy to insert your own thoughts into it.

the fake out with the Arches was so good! like it honestly caught me by surprise, thinking this was just another alteration the show made. I kind of thought Egwene was going to activate her dream magic and rescue Nynaeve, but I guess it did follow the book fairly closely after all, just with more drama.

speaking of dream magic, I like the way they seem to be playing Perrin's wolf-dream powers more as visions overlaying the real world instead of extended dream sequences, which also seems like it's easier from a production standpoint but also makes the wolf magic feel more grounded.

and speaking of Aes Sedai ceremonies, I appreciate the lack of gratuitous female nudity. In fact they seem to have upped the gratuitous male nudity quite a bit. The women and queers took over that world and made it their own and I love it

Just, the casual way that the showrunners decided that queer people exist, and also that people fuck without being weird and repressed about it is so refreshing.

speaking of weird repressed sexuality, the design for the Seanchan channeler whatsits is so much more creepy and so much less fetish-y than the books and I love it. (I do also wonder if from a cinematography pov it was decided it was too difficult to have people on leashes and get good camera angles)

Rand in the psych ward was a good touch, it was so nice to see him actually doing things instead of sitting around angsting, and being kind and caring and having a personality, even if there was an ulterior motive. Also having him meet Logain this early instead of waiting twelve books was an excellent choice because I spent those twelve books frothing at the mouth wondering when the two were going to meet; the setup with the scene in the cage and the actual payoff of them meeting for the first time in the books was such a letdown, this was so much more dramatic and fulfilling.

not having Logain at the White Tower is going to make the attack on the white Tower interesting, though. And Min also left. Maybe they'll wind up back there somehow? Because I did like that awkward little travel party. And it throws off my trans channeler fic that I may or may not actually have written down somewhere, but oh well.

I like show!Min a lot, she's a lot sharper and more bitter than book!Min, but she also has even more lesbian energy than RJ's Only Woman In The World Who Wears Pants (Gasp!) and I don't see her pairing well with Rand. But also Rand hasn't actually met any of his love interests, so I'm curious to see how the show decides to play it. Maybe they'll lean into the polycule aspect and have the girls get together with each other too? They do seem to be foreshadowing that (hello Alanna)

Wheel of Time Books: you know that Alanna...has two Warders... two men at her beck and call... if you know what I mean ;)... haha no of course they don't... unless ;) Wheel of Time Show: they fuck. they're fucking. they have bisexual fucking threesomes all the fucking time and they're so fucking horny in front of everyone and we fucking love it. And they bring her snacks.

I kind of wanted to see Mat beat up Galad, but maybe they'll work that in later.

[tokkias]

Hi I really enjoyed reading your post about describing natsu and Lucy appearance , and I was wondering , how would you describe them in personality wise ?

I really enjoyed reading your stories , you always make the characters so in character and I love that

and I was wondering in personality wise how would you describe/analysis them?

thank you! i'm glad you enjoyed my writing :] and in line with my writing, this sorta got away from me. it's like 2000 words. that's insane that's way too long for a character analysis, but i do have a lot to say!

personality is a little more complex than appearance (hence why it took me longer to reply to this ask. sorry!) in that you have to dig a little deeper than just looking at the character. it takes a bit more digging and going just beyond the surface. people are going to have different interpretations because personality isn't something that is so cut and dry. they're fluid and they change at different times and situations. just in general, some people are going to perceive character's in different ways. that being said i think some people fall victim when writing natsu of "writing fan fiction of fan fiction" rather than pulling from his actual traits.

this is just the way i interpret their personalities. you're free to disagree, or free to steal my ideas and insert them into your own headcanons or fan fiction. i do not mind.

if you've read a lot of nalu fan fiction (which i have), you'll probably notice that a good portion of it is written from lucy's pov and that's because in general, she is easier to write and grasp. lucy wears her heart on her sleeve which makes it easy to know what she's thinking and feeling, and therefore interpret her personality.

to pick a few adjectives to describe lucy would be; kind, intelligent and passionate.

lucy is really defined by her kindness. she is forgiving almost to a fault and she loves with all of her being. she couldn't hold a grudge against anyone to save her life. she really tries to see the best in everyone and give people the benefit of the doubt. that unwavering kindness and forgiveness is more likely to be shown to people who do wrong to her than to those who do wrong to her friends. her friends, her family, her spirits are always going to be her number one priority and she will defend them with her life if she has to. she's been through a lot, she knows she's tough, she knows that she can handle a hit or two (both physically and emotionally), but she never ever wants to see her friends hurt or brought down.

of the cast, i would say lucy is one of, if not probably the most intelligent of the bunch, barring levy and freed. though it isn't stated explicitly, i would say lucy is probably one of the only characters who has had a formal education and most likely was given the best of the best when it came to schools/tutors. despite this, lucy never sees herself as "better" than anyone else, nor does she look down on people who don't know the things that she does. like everything with lucy, it comes right back around to the fact that she is just incredibly kind and caring. she's the type of person who is more likely to help someone understand something rather than to get frustrated or belittle them for not knowing, no matter how "obvious" the knowledge may be. she's smart, but she's book smart. though she does grow to become more street smart over time, her sheltered childhood and lack of real life experiences made her pretty naive and overly trusting at the start of the series. i'd say phantom lord is the first big change, and by gmg she's got a pretty good grasp on things that are considered common sense. i'd honestly hazard to say that she doesn't really fully adjust to not being sheltered until post-tartaros where she really is on her own for the very first time since she ran away from home.

like her kindness, i do think lucy is also defined by her passion. she’s very feeling about a lot of things; her friends, her spirits, her writing, her ambitions. she’s a real go getter, she knows what she wants and there are very few things that can stop her from getting it because she has so much drive behind her. this also makes her kind of stubborn. i think the loke arc is a really good example of this; she stands her ground, she literally puts her life on the line for justice and for loke’s life.

lucy is pretty aesthetically driven. she knows she’s pretty and she holds a lot of confidence in her appearance, almost to the point of being a bit vain about it. she likes to dress cute and put time into her hair and her makeup. her appearance often gets knocked down for a punchline but i don’t think that ever causes her confidence to waver, but she definitely puts less emphasis on her appearance as time goes on. i would probably attribute that change not to her valuing her appearance less, but more to the growing confidence in her capabilities; she no longer feels like her appearance is the only thing that she can fall back on.

i think those are the core elements to lucy—the fundamental things that you really have to keep in otherwise it’s not really lucy. if you are taking away her kindness, her love, her passion, her smarts, you’re doing a total disservice to her character because that’s the foundation of who she is as a person. anything else i can sort of understand taking or leaving it.

i’ve seen a lot of other writers express their struggle with writing natsu, and i definitely understand where that sentiment comes from. lucy wears her heart on her sleeve but natsu is not so open with his thoughts and his feelings. he’s blunt but that doesn’t equate to wearing his heart on his sleeve. we don’t ever really get to know what’s going on inside his brain. i don’t even think lucy, as well as she knows and understands him, fully knows what he’s thinking and feeling at any given moment. i think because of this, it’s easy to fall in the traps of flanderising him and turning him into this one-dimensional character where he’s this loud, obnoxious, stupid, adhd stereotype. i don’t think that truly captures who he is as a character. he’s someone you need to read between the lines to understand and go a little deeper than what we’re shown on the surface level. that being said, the nature of “reading between the lines” means that people are going to have different thoughts about his character, but after being a fairy tail fan for 9 years, looking at source material, reading interviews, reading fanfiction, writing 200k+ words of my own fanfiction, i do think i have a pretty solid grasp on natsu as a character, and this is how i interpret him.

if you only take away one thing from this fucking essay of a character analysis, please let it be this:

natsu dragneel is defined by his good, kind and loving heart!!! natsu dragneel was created to destroy but he consistently chooses to be good and kind, even when it is not the easiest option. he has no room for hate in his heart, he is filled with overwhelming compassion for those around him. yes, he is a demon who was created to kill, yes, he does things that could be considered morally grey sometimes, but i think that only drives my point home. ie chooses to be good against all odds and i think it’s weird when people turn him into this rude, mean, evil bad boy/playboy type, because that’s not who he is at all. he’s loyal, he’s protective, he’s a good person. he’s not quite as forgiving as lucy, he can still hold a grudge if he wants to, but he’s still easy to forgive when he's been wronged. like lucy, he’s more likely to feel negative feelings towards someone who hurts his friends over someone who hurts him, but he’s still quick to forgive when he’s offered an apology because i think he thinks that it is a waste of his time and energy to hold a grudge against someone.

i think the reason why it’s so hard for people to get a grasp on natsu is because even though he doesn’t intentionally hide the way he’s thinking or feeling, but he’s not one to talk about his feelings unprompted. it sort of requires a level of emotional maturity that he doesn’t quite have because he was, you know, raised by a dragon, and then when he was brought in by makarov, he still never really was able to develop it because he never had someone who he could really be open with his feelings about. the closest he got was lisanna, but even still, when they became friends, he was still a moody, angsty boy grieving the loss of his father and wasn’t open to talking about his feelings. he certainly couldn’t talk to someone like erza or gray about it either, because they were also traumatised, emotionally stunted children. because lucy came into his life at a time where he was a little more open to addressing his feelings, and she is someone who already had that openness and emotional maturity, he is able to gradually become more comfortable with talking about his feelings, but it’s still not a lot. by the end of tartaros he’s still not comfortable enough telling lucy to her face why he’s leaving and when he comes back, he doesn’t want to talk about it because it’s too heavy and uncomfortable. he’s more willing to talk about stuff like friendship and forgiveness and good feelings like that, but when it comes to the things that make him uncomfortable, especially when it comes to the fact that he hurt lucy, it’s harder for him to talk about, because he would just rather ignore his bad feelings, but talking about it is the opposite of that—talking about it makes it real in a way that he can’t avoid. talking about it makes those feelings exist in a space outside of his head. the fact that he is not open and doesn’t talk about his feelings very often doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them, and yes, this applies to romance and sex too.

i think the idea that natsu is “dense” is more of a front that he puts up rather than him genuinely being stupid. of course he knows what sex is, he was raised in the fairy tail guild hall, but he knows that he can get away with things if he just pretends that he has no clue. he can be a peeping tom, he can grab lucy’s boobs, he can do perverted stuff and then just pretend he doesn’t know any better. it’s not because he’s uninterested, he literally is just taking advantage of the benefit of the doubt and the way he’s perceived. he’s not dumb, he’s smart in his own ways, and he uses the way he’s perceived as dumb and dense to his advantage.

that sort of leads me to the thing that i know myself and a lot of others have issue with in hyq canon and that is the dumbification of natsu. we have seen that, even though he is not traditionally book smart, his smarts manifest in other ways. he’s got a strategic mind which he uses to his advantage in fights. he can spot weaknesses and figure out how to use them to his advantage and even on occasion, he can simply just outwit his opponents. even though his first instinct and preference is just to pummel down his opponent and solve his problems with his fists, he can and does think things through. i’m almost willing to believe he’s being “stupid” on purpose in hyq. i think that he would say shit like what’s a library just to get on lucy’s nerves because he thinks it’s funny. yes, he knows what a library is, he’s been in one, lucy is literally a published author. it makes more sense that natsu is just fucking around than him genuinely being an idiot. that fits in line with my big overarching rule with natsu: don’t take everything he says at face value.

i probably have more to say, but this is genuinely getting way too long and i think i hit the main points i think are important, but i know this only really scratches the surface. people are weird and complex and their personalities are always changing based on time, place, situation, etc. i know there’s some stuff that i left out but i don’t think anyone would read any more than the giant essay i’ve already written lol. i hope this is sufficient!

[purplebass]

I can’t wait to see where V is going to go with the Threads series thought I seems like we are going to have to wait awhile until then since she is going to be working on other books. I does make you wonder though about all the Easter eggs in her writing though since I read in a interview that she has everything planned before she writes so she works backwards and knows how her stories end. I always knew Holland was her favorite so I’m excited to see how she continued to incorporate him and I know she said she’s extremely exited to write Kosika. She said we already met the new main character for book 2 but it was brief and I felt like Tes considered the main character of book one but won’t be going forward? I wonder if Ren is every going to be a main character in those series or the next… like the world feels rich enough that it could continue with the offspring :)

Anon, sorry for the delay but I've been a little on/off these days :( but I do appreciate your messages!!! I love discussing this series 🥺

I've just read V's monthly newsletter and it seems like she will go back to Threads #2 and #3 soon. I mean, she didn't say it openly but I thought she hinted that after she finished her last novel she might go back to works that are part of a series because it's easier to do. I also believe she plans ahead! I remember a story she posted in 2020 about Threads. She showed her progression board with post-its, and I think her favorite way to plan is know the beginning and the end and then plant the middle. So she knows how it starts, main events in the middle, and the end. It's a good way to know where you are going. So I think she definitely has a plan, she just needs to start writing. I don't know if she'd write the two books back to back, but I don't believe the #2 book will see the light until 2025 😭 it depends on her deadline with the editor. I think Threads #1 took about a year and half to be completed (between planning, writing, editing).

I think Holland will be consistent in the future. I read that she was sad when she knew she had to give him that ending in ACOL, so him being here is definitely a way for her to bring him back because she also missed him.🥹

I also thought Tes was a main character, and I think she will be important in the future. Ren might be a main character too. In a way, being a child, her pov would be fun to write because a child's pov could be highly unreliable XD so the reader might have a hard time figuring it out lol because she would see the world through innocent eyes. I believe V could surely pull it off because she knows how to write younger characters.

Another character that might be important in Threads #2 could be Nero, Tes' friend the bone magician. Nero might actually be a royal (maybe from the fourth or fifth family in line). He might not even know about it. He might've been abandoned as a child and had his memory erased after his family found out he was a bone magician. Bone magic is powerful but also forbidden. Maybe, if he is truly the son of royals, his family might've abandoned him because he couldn't be useful to them since bone magic is illegal. The royal family might've suspected of them, so decided to abandon the child before the royals would know he had bone magic. They might try to find him again because the Hand is stopping at nothing to dethrone Rhy. They would find a bone magician super useful for their goals, since this magic is not easy to counter-attack. We saw that even a strong magician like Alucard couldn't do much when Nero used his magic on him. He would surely be a powerful ally to have, if I were the Hand. It would also show good dynamics because Tes considers him her friend and she's sort of forced to be on the side of the royal family because she has their protection. Imagine her reaction when she learns who he is and with whom he allied. She had been resistant to ally with the Hand, finding out Nero is one of them could feel like betrayal, in a way.Also, the name... lol. Nero like the emperor. I thought he would be a fire magician when I heard his name.

[domini-porter]

so glad you’ve started the next story already! i was wondering, i noticed that while you’ve written from maura’s pov in the past all your most recent stuff is from jane’s. coincidence? intentional? i’m always curious about why writers lean towards one over the other.

Yay, thank you!!

For me, it comes down to the type of story, largely. I started out (yearrrrrrs ago, in the Ancient Days when R&I was first airing) with stuff that alternated perspective, but now it’s mostly (exclusively?) from Jane’s. Why? Because I’ve discovered a deep love for writing genre fiction. And a lot of that is plot and action-oriented, and of our wives, that’s Jane. Both character-wise, and by virtue of her job—she’s the one who goes places, who talks to people, who can’t sit still. Maura, by contrast, is often in her office, doing things that require quiet focus and patience. So it’s kind of the natural choice for Jane to be my perspective character.

For me, Maura’s the more complex character; some of that is bad character development by the writers (of the series; I’ve never read the source novels) and some of it is her identification as the Smart One, which is trickier, since the easy default for a Smart One is Bad With People and I honestly find that to be kind of a repetitive and not-very-dynamic narrative beat. (Also I really really hate her soap-opera backstory and have railed against it for like a dozen years now; I either try not to mention it or just excise it altogether, like in my current series.)

And anyway, I find it easier to identify with and understand Jane, as a soft sporty butch myself. She has more easily-accessible internal conflict, which makes it more fruitful to get inside her head as opposed to Maura’s, which I freely admit I just find harder to do. Plus I always love pretty femmes, so it’s not hard for me to describe that kind of romantic pursuit (and AH just made thee dykiest possible acting choice every time, so thanks for making that easier, too).

From a craft standpoint, I just don’t like omniscient perspective (where you follow each character with the same window into their inner thoughts). I find it either boring (either too little or too much insight into everyone on the page) or lazy (omniscience can mean not having to do the emotional characterization). I don’t mind multiple perspectives (where each chapter is from someone else’s point of view) and I’ve done that before, but the stuff I’m doing now is pretty straightforward long-form novelistic writing, and doesn’t really have room for that kind of stylistic choice. (I used to write experimental fiction so this is a preference I’ve arrived at after lots of messing about.)

There are definitely drawbacks to this choice, though, in any story—when you have a singular perspective it means nothing can happen in the plot without that character being there, or being told. I have moments in each one of these books (I know it’s not wattpad but at a certain point I think you’re allowed to call your 350-page story a book, why not) where I come to a screeching halt because I’ve planned something big without Jane present, and now I have to figure out how to communicate that action without just a straight exposition dump or breaking the story itself by suddenly switching perspectives (don’t do this, unless it’s a fundamental part of the structure of your piece).

Long story short (from me? UNLIKELY): Jane’s basically more convenient as a driver of action, and Maura’s too oblique. There are writers who write Maura’s internality beautifully and I’ll let them do that work for me to enjoy!

Thank you for asking! Do I love talking craft? Hmmm, hard to say.

[destinyc1020]

Well thats partially true, yeah it maybe hard to maintain secrecy but alot of comic book movies outside of the MCU have filmed with practical sets like batman and yet r patts batman was barely leaked. Also didnt someone leak green screen footage of andrew garfield beofre nwh came out. So I mean leaks happen regardless. The real answer is marvel wants to save money on production costs and shifted to digital. In addition it also prevents delays. Since practical filming is on location you gotta hope weather is on our side if it isnt it can cause a number of delays or any number of real world factors could also delay production.

I doubt it has to do with leaks and moreso with saving money. Shooting in one location on greenscreen is much easier to do from a logistical POV as well . But even though green screen is cheaper it is so much more time consuming in post production and overtime could actually become more expensive if post production falls apart and requires extensive re-filming.

So there are benefits both ways. But practical sets are sometimes more preferable since they actually add a level of realism that sometimes cant be recreated in cgi/ greenscreens.

Do you remember in Nwh flash thompson calls peter from a university mingle and they cgi the people, the room etc and it looked so fake.

Thanks for your input Anon. 😊

Do you remember in Nwh flash thompson calls peter from a university mingle and they cgi the people, the room etc and it looked so fake.

I vaguely remember that scene lol. I do wonder though if part of that had to do with covid though. Being in an enclosed building with a ton of people was just a breeding ground for covid during that time. I also recall that Angourie's (Betty Brant) scenes had to all be CGI-d in because she was all the way over in Australia during the time of filming lol. 😅 Ahhh...good times lol....

[thehaemanthus]

July Reading

I was on vacation, then I got sick, then Life, so reading this month is slower. With one exception.

I re-read books of the Alice Worth series and the Jacky Leon series, which I've talked about before. I think both are classified as urban fantasy. Alice Worth series is probably written better, but Jacky Leon holds a very special place in my heart.

Alice Worth is a MPI (Mage Private Investigator) who solves mysteries with her ghost sidekick. There's werewolves, vampires, witches, other mages, and all sorts of nasties. The series is more or less about Alice dealing with her deeply traumatic past to find love and family. The themes and lessons can hit you over the head at times with how obvious they are, but it's a fun series.

Jacky Leon is a loner werecat who gets pulled into Situations involving werewolves (enemies to the werecats), fae (technically allies but...), vampires (eh, just there for Jacky), and more. Like many a protagonist, she is also dealing with some trauma in her past and learning how to be a part of her new world and new family while also building a family of her own. I adore this series for interactions with a cute kid, Big Family Drama, and interesting politics.

Also re-read Dark Age (enjoyed it more this time, forgot about Ephraim and his broom and had to put the book down to laugh, the violence was softened because I knew what to expect but BOY) in preparation for...

Light Bringer

No spoilers

I mean. Holy shit. Pierce Brown had me in a stranglehold with the first three books of Red Rising. I was demoralized and honestly wondering, do I still love the series as much after Dark Age? After all of those awful things? Are these books just too heavy for me, has my brain been poisoned by fun romances? Light Bringer answered that question.

It's a tighter book, with less POV characters all over the place. Events are easier to follow, but that doesn't mean they are any less clever, jaw dropping, or exhilarating.

Both Iron Gold and Dark Age exhausted me while reading, like the characters themselves must have been exhausted. Light Bringer brought me back up. Hope, perseverance, love, and change are big in this book.

Brown mentioned something a while back about getting back to Darrow, remembering that he's the protagonist or something along those lines. You really feel that with Light Bringer. The other POVs are there and they serve a purpose, but I really felt the beauty of Darrow's story. The POVs also sort of...center Darrow? He feels more present throughout the book. Virginia's POV was kind of just...there? In a good way, I love all the content we get from her, but it wasn't the neatest part of the book I think. I didn't mind it while reading though.

Darrow goes on a genuine journey after such a huge loss in Dark Age. And when you reach the end, you sort of understand why the next book is called Red God. Darrow isn't a god or anything-- he doesn't feel or act that way. If anything, he has become humbled. But with the way he moves through the world and what he'll bring to his enemies and allies, it's easy to understand how the world could view him as a god.

And Lysander au Lune broke my heart but I already wrote about that

(minor spoilers)

Light Bringer was also really fucking funny. Interactions between Cassius and Darrow made me grin and cry. The play between Cassius, Darrow, and Sevro was so nostalgic, I felt that in my gut. Lyria is also hysterical and, as always, a perfect sweetheart. And her traveling companions know it too :)

[ownedbybooks]

2022 spring wrap up

Disclaimer: I live in the Southern Hemisphere

Endgame: The Complete Zero Line Chronicles, by James Frey ⭐️⭐️

It was an okay book. Not so much related to the main series, apart from the fact that the characters here knew about the Endgame and are trying to stop it. But honestly in the main series it was only casually cited so I don't know how it's going to be related to the end of the main series, apart from the fact that - yes - the Endgame has to be stopped.

Toda Mafalda, by Quino ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The greatest of the greatest. The one that made me who I am. The south american icon. She's the legend. She IS the moment. A MUST READ!!

L'Aiguille Creuse, by Maurice Leblanc ⭐️⭐️

I was very complexed by this book and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm feeling like this towards the Arsène Lupin series because of the translation, since I'm reading the books from different publishers. Only time will tell. It had a interesting premise, tho.

China Rich Girlfriend, by Kevin Kwan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm living for this series and only for it. I loved how we are now introduced to the mainland Chinese high class and how they can be more frivolous than the Singaporean one. But at the same time it shows how different two cultures can be, even though they came from the same root. It was lighthearted, funny, and filled with east asian pop culture references.

Minha quase irmã: Bernardo, by Mônica Meirelles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was afraid of reading this one and being worst then the first. But it was a great surprise for me how the main character worked out his problems. I would even say I liked more this book than the first one, because here we see how much the male lead matures and grow. And I really like this kind of book with lots of character development!

The Pirate Balthasar #5-7, by Dedasaur ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Aaah great GREAT GREAT!!! All the sisters had their happy ending and we are now moving to a more deep layer in Kane's story and leveling up the mediterranean environment and fantastical mood of the comic <3

La Dame aux Camélias, by Alexandre Dumas fils ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I… don't know exactly (till now) how to feel about this particular book. It was nice to read and it had a easy flow. But it was also very predictable. In the end I think I gave it 3 stars more because how well the author rights and make you dive deep into the story, then the actual story lmao

Oscar et la dame rose, by Éric-Emmanuel Schmitt ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It's a very simple story. Kinda christmasy. Written by an child. And very VERY very emotional end. From the start you know what's going to happen, but since we are reading it in the pov of a child, he's kinda processing his life and living every life stage as fast as he can. This was definitely one of my favourite books of the year.

Flamingos, by Clary Avelino ⭐️⭐️

Ok, this one is easy to read, which was great because I was needing to read something easier at the time. But I believe it could be better developed. It's a short book where the main character feels very horny for the male lead, who is a great guy, that had very actual problems (that you will get if you lived in Brazil in the last 4 years), but… The main character also had her own stuff but I didn't felt it was well developed. Or developed at all. There's also other characters who start having a fling together, but we don't know much about it as well. In the end it was just a easy book to read and pass the time.

[castle-in-the-air0]

Hi there! So first of all: yay for the new chapter of Throw Me to the Wolves, I'm so glad you managed to find the time to update!!! As with all the chapters before it, it was amazing 😁

Now, for the question: I remember that in the GOT show, Robb has quite the intimidating talk with Jaime after he captures him (not sure if any of it happens in the books since I haven't read them yet). I was wondering how you think that scene changes in the Throw Me to the Wolves timeline? Because in your universe, Robb and Jaime are much more connected than they were without Alysanne - not to mention having even more reason to dislike each other. I can imagine so much more tension between them and I just love to think about it!

Sorry for the absurdly long ask, I guess I got excited lol. Thanks for allowing questions - and thanks again for the new chapter!

Hi! Sorry it took me so long to reply to this! And sorry for how long this answer is about to be lol

It for sure changes in this timeline. Robb has seen what Jaime’s abandonment of Alysanne did to her growing up, and so he already has resentment towards him in addition to everything that happens during the war. I think there’s also the odd, contradictory feeling of thanks, because it’s because of Jaime that Robb has Alysanne. But then again, Jaime’s bastard son has taken his father’s head and to Robb’s knowledge, holds his siblings hostage.

And as for Jaime, he has a lot of lingering guilt surrounding how he’s treated Alysanne and how he essentially let her be sent away as a child. Jaime has never been good at facing past hurts and failures, especially those where he’s at fault.

I don’t think Jaime would truly believe Robb “stole” Alysanne from him, but he might let himself think so because it would be easier than facing the truth. Jaime consistently lets himself believe in lies that allow him the easy way out, especially in this timeline. He tells himself that his “dishonor” will only stain his daughter, and so he lets her drift away. In truth, he knows it’s because he should have done more to keep her by his side, and he can’t bear to look her in the eye and see that hurt and betrayal. He didn’t want to be faced with the fact that she was growing up so far away from him, and without him.

So here’s Robb, who has been there for Alysanne at all the points Jaime wasn’t, who his daughter is loyal to above all else, and who has just beaten him on the field of battle and taken him prisoner. I really do think his feelings of sorrow and guilt for missing out on her life thus far would manifest into anger towards the one who did get to be there. And there’s the anger that exists because of Robb waging war against Cersei her children.

And Jaime isn’t completely heartless, he loves Alysanne dearly. Beneath it all I do think he has some level of respect/gratitude towards Robb. He sent Ser Addam with Alysanne out of fear that she’d be saddled with a cruel husband, and Robb is the opposite of cruel to Alysanne. He saw at their wedding how much they love one another, and the way she’s followed him to war speaks to that love. Jaime has only ever wanted his daughter to be happy despite the misguided ways he goes about it, and how could he truly hate the man his daughter loves, and who loves her in turn?

I toyed with including the Robb/Jaime scene, but instead I cut it in favor of Alysanne’s confrontation with Jaime. Having both so close together felt a tad repetitive to me and I thought Alysanne deserved the chance to confront Jaime far more than Robb. I may still write a scene between the two, though! Their dynamic is far too interesting not to.

Along the same vein, I originally wanted to do a chapter with Ser Addam’s pov because I feel like it’d be so interesting to explore how he’s felt about being sent north, and how all of the sudden he’s responsible for this six year old girl who is all alone in the world. And on the opposite end there’s Jaime, who comes back into Alysanne’s life once she’s grown, and Ser Addam has essentially stepped into the role Jaime left empty. I couldn’t find the right place for it in the narrative but I may still write it and post it as a “deleted scenes” type of thing.

And I loved loved loved the long ask, I live for these types of things and I so rarely get to talk about my fic! So, thank you for the question. And thank you for reading!

I feel like I kinda went off on a tangent, Jaime and Alysanne’s relationship is a whole other beast and I could go on for hours about them alone. Let me know if this didn’t answer the question hahaha

Read Throw Me to the Wolves on AO3

[its-kelsier-again]

Chapter 46-56

Well, I lost all my thoughts from chapters 41 to 45 after restarting my phone. Somehow, despite saving it and not touching it for hours before I did the restart.

Some of the thoughts I managed to remember and from the next section of the book are under the cut.

Uh, really I was loving Steris in chapter 43 (and pretty much everywhere she appears in) and speculating that she may have a connection to Autonomy due to showing boldness in her PoV chapters. Also, I was worried we wouldn't see her again after Wax leaves to help Marasi and Wayne, but I'm so we did.

I'm a bit curious if Wax and Marasi have their own "clones" from the Set. If Wayne does, I think Wax certainly does, though I don't know if Marasi's important enough to them to create someone to match her.

I was also suspicious of the Set's motivations and goals after chapter 44 and 45. Like, are they really going to blow up Elendel or do they have other things they're trying to accomplish? Things aren't as simple as they seem, I think

Chapter 46 I wonder if the tunnel connects with the one Marasi and her group is in.

Unless that's supposed to lead us into a false sense of security

Oh my god, Wayne set a house on fire. That's kinda hilarious. And it's not even the first building he's set on fire. Of course not

Oh that's interesting. Telsin and the Set faked evidence to make taking over easier. That actually sounds like a good idea. Implicate the people the Basian already hates and take power immediately under the guise of the reluctant greater good or whatever.

Chapter 47 Connection between aether and sand mastery?

Is Shai watching Hoid? I kinda love that. I also wonder why she can't go home. Is it because of the events in The Emperor's Soul?

It seems the Set may know about Awakening due to talk about a Command. Oh and they know about a broken Spirit Web. Cool. It seems they're very Cosmere aware in general.

As if we didn't need it to be super obvious that Gave was a villain.

The Scadrial Ghostbloos are VERY different from the Roshar Ghostbloods. Not just in how they treat each other, but I couldn't see Mraize and his people saving the prisoners.

Chapter 48 I think is some set up for Era 3 with Daal taking the drained Bands of Mourning.

Varlance doesn't have much of a backbone, but at least he's doing his job.

Chapter 49 I change my mind. While I think Wayne (and maybe Marasi) is the most likely to die, I don't think so now because Wax found Wayne "blessedly alive" in chapter 46 and he was just shot and survived.

Okay, but during the fight with the clones, it keeps focusing on how the metal mines are draining quickly. Hm.

That was a really good chapter. I loved that fight, it was so good.

Chapter 51 I wonder if Shai can go to and from Shadesmar using her stamps.

Chapter 52 I'm getting worried about Wayne again...

Chapter 53 Great, are those horrifying things from Shadows of Self back? And yes, appearently it is. These things sound terrifying and I wonder if we'll see them in Era 3.

I'm very curious to see what this soulstamp does.

Chapter 54 Did Shai just become an Elantrian?! Yup. She did.

Chapter 55 And Autonomy appears, appearently!

Not Wax buying alcohol from a shop he just help destroy.

Chapter 56 Well this is weird. Who are these people, and are they friend or foe?

Oh. These people think the outside world is destroyed. Is that why the Set has those set and film?

Wow. So that was an interesting chapter.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

You Can Get High On The First Kiss

Summary: Spencer Reid's perfectly perfect first date

Word Count: 3407

CW: Kissing, implied sex

Pairing: Spencer x Female Reader (I can't help myself so this is another librarian!reader)

Note: This is for @reidsbookclub 's 1 year anniversary. Grecy is so amazing. I'm very lucky to call you a friend <3. And on another note, I realized that this has 2 perspectives. That was an accident so let’s just ignore that and know that it’s reader pov and then Spencer pov. Also if you know what song the title is referencing you win a gold starv

The fifth time she threw yet another shirt on the floor was the moment she acknowledged that her dislike of every sweater or blouse in her closet stemmed from her nervousness. All she could think about as she searched for the perfect outfit, was how cute her date was. Every Tuesday and Thursday, the Analytical Mathematics course he was a teaching assistant for reserved the computer labs. It was part of her responsibility as the librarian to have the professor’s printouts ready and other research materials for the students. 

Professor Norton, a man who, in all senses of the word, had at least one foot in the grave, let Spencer pretty much run the course on his own. Y/N, who admits she’s pretty biased, would wager a hefty amount of money on Spencer being the best TA the university had to offer. Despite his shy exterior, Y/N found him quite funny in an understated, demure sort of way. And the fact that he has ridiculously sharp cheekbones and sweet brown eyes just made it easier to fall for him. 

As she selects a deep mauve cardigan and a simple gray blouse, Y/N remembers how sweetly Spencer approached her. It was a Wednesday, not a day she normally saw him in the library. He stood by the circulation desk, waiting patiently as she helped a couple of freshmen find the history section of the library for the term papers. He smiled, but it was a twisted smile that made him look uncomfortable. 

“Having a good day?” he asked, a clear attempt to make conversation. Eager to see where this led, she gave into his question. 

“Well, I helped Professor Patel in the English department set up a new syllabus and a history professor needed to order new textbooks for the spring semester. Now I’m about to send out emails for finds. Just a normal day, that totally got better all of the sudden. Not sure how, though,” Y/N said, attempting, despite her own nerves, to flirt. 

Spencer blushed. It was either a good thing or a terrible thing. Either he enjoyed the flirting and was just too nervous to reciprocate. Or he hated it and his physical response showed just how much he hated it. 

“Mine got better too,” 

Maybe he did like it. Maybe? 

Y/N smiled, continuing to collect the books from the return bin. Spencer watched,  looking like he was here to say something more than to see how her day was going. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Spencer said, fidgeting with his oversized button up. It was a dusty tan with plastic buttons. He paired it with a gray cardigan that was also two or three sizes too big for him.

“There’s this cafe that I go to. It’s near my apartment. I was wondering if you’d like to go. Go with me that is. I mean you don’t have to go with me. There’s no rule about that. You can go by yourself, obviously. You don’t need me to tell you that, of course. But I like you–no! Well, not no. But I’d like to take you. With me. To the cafe, I mean,” 

Breathless, Spencer must have bitten his lips during his long winded ramble because they were colored a reddish pink. It was utterly distracting. And, Y/N thought, would be a problem if he continued to have that blush coupled with his swollen lips. 

“Uhh,” Y/N stammered, her heart thumping in her chest as the moments flew by. “As a date?” 

“If that’s okay,” 

She remembered having to contain herself. It was difficult, when she had been crushing on the TA that visited her in the library for an entire semester now. Y/N needed to maintain some semblance of control in the face of what she’d consider her wildest dreams. 

“A date with you sounds like a dream,” she said, cringing because she totally went overboard with that. 

The very thought of it still gave her butterflies. Spencer was just too cute, with his funny if you think about it jokes, amazing book recommendations, and ability to always compliment her homemade desserts. If dreams could come true, it would be him, in a heartbeat. 

But Y/N doesn’t want to get ahead of herself. Standing in front of the full length mirror with Chester, her brown tabby lounging on her bed, she told herself to keep her head. Spencer’s dreamy and cute and charming. And after years and years of loving people from afar without the thrill of reciprocation, she found herself getting more and more okay without romantic prospects. Yet, she yearned for someone. She deeply desired another person to spend Friday nights cuddling on the couch reading books to each other. All she wanted was another person to come home to and to be the person someone comes home to. 

And maybe, just maybe that someone could be Spencer. 

*** 

Spencer Reid was, to put it mildly, terrified. From the moment he went into the library that fateful Wednesday to even now, his palms were sweaty with anxiety. He paced back and forth the small hallway that led up to the front door. Y/N emailed him last night, telling him thanks for the book recommendation and that she’d be at his place at 7 pm for their date. The little coffee shop was only two blocks, a perfect walking distance for a mild night in October. 

He continued to pace, thinking horrifyingly embarrassing possibilities of what could happen on this date. His entire life, Spencer found himself thinking about this night. He didn’t always dream that it would be with Y/N, even if he had been dreaming of it with her for the last couple of weeks. No, Spencer, for as long as he could remember, dreamt of his first date. Maybe it was all the romantic poems he heard in his mother’s lectures when he was young or maybe it was the secret stash of bodice rippers that made him yearn for a person to share his life with. Whatever it was, Spencer dreamt of this day. He dreamt of the day that someone would whisk him off his feet. Spencer, admittedly, understood that his dreams, birthed through 14th century poetry and 1970s softcore erotica, were a little fantastical. But then again, he liked a little fantastical one in a while. 

He changed his sweater, torn between the brown one with olive green stripes and his dark when one with mustard yellow stripes. Deciding on the red one before he changed his mind, Spencer pulled it over his head. He looked in the mirror, neither displeased or pleased with how he looked. Spencer found it easier to be ambivalent to his appearance. This way, he wasn’t set up for disappointment when people who caught his eye didn’t show the same attraction in return. 

He let Junie, his ancient gray cat, use his discarded sweater as a bed, despite her having a cat tree and three cat beds (and his bed) to sleep on. Of course, Junie wanted to sleep on the sweater that smelt like Spencer, she was a sweet cat. He crouched down, sitting criss-cross as he scratched her ears. 

“Wish me good luck, Junie-Bug,” Spencer whispered to his cat. She purred and Spencer decided to take that as an answer in his favor. 

The bell rang, alerting Spencer that his fate, whether he liked it or not, was her. Summoning his courage, Spencer answered the door. 

“I know I’m probably early, so I’m sorry. I already waited in my car down the street for like fifteen minutes. Oh crap! You aren’t supposed to know that. God, I’m ruining this, aren’t I?” 

Spencer, never truly understood when people say they are stunned into silence. But standing there with Y/N in his doorframe, he completely understood the meaning. Y/N, to put it simply, looked beautiful. 

“You look…”

“A mess, I know,” she laughed, a twinkling chuckle that forced a shy grin on Spencer’s face that instantly flooded into confusion, “I had no clue what to wear to a coffee shop date? So I wore this, but I’m still not sure if it was the right choice,” 

The right choice? Spencer thought silently to himself. It didn’t matter what she wore, he didn’t care about that stuff. It didn’t matter in the slightest because she was already the most beautiful person in the world to him. 

“That stuff,” Spencer started, unsure how to word this. Girls in movies and soap operas he watches are often insecure about their looks. It would be strange for Y/N to be insecure with her looks, considering how stunning she looked to Spencer, “Doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care what you wear, you could wear a chicken feed sack dress for all I care. You’re perfect how you are,” he said, wondering if he came off too strong. He supposed that it was okay if he did come off strong, because at least he was being truthful. 

“You’re pretty perfect yourself, Spencer Reid.” 

Spencer felt his cheeks heat at her compliment. It wasn’t everyday that Spencer found himself getting compliments from pretty girls. And it certainly wasn’t everyday that pretty girls were calling him perfect. He attempted to play it cool, even if he knew he was just making a fool of himself. 

“I thought we could walk.” Spencer suggested, grabbing his keys from the rack. “It’s a nice night and it’s not too far away.” 

“Sounds perfect,” Y/N said. She stuck her hand out, signaling for Spencer to take it. He did, even if it nearly caused his heart to burst out of his chest. 

There was that little word again. Perfect. He was perfect. She was perfect. This night was perfect. 

– 

“Coffee beans are basically seeds. They are pits in this cherry-like berry. You know you can actually eat the berries? They’re a little tart, but anyway the only reason we call them beans is because the end result resembles legumes.” Spencer said, continuing to swirl his small stick in his extra large coffee with cinnamon. 

“I did not know that, hmm. That’s interesting, Spencer. I wonder if you could fermement the coffee berries? It would be interesting to say the least,” Y/N conversed. She gripped her iced latte, holding it so tightly it was like she was worried it would escape. 

“Sorry,” Spencer apologized, “I’m not really a good dater. I just. I am so well aware that it’s glaringly obvious this is my first date,” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, totally killed the mood.” Spencer lemented. Dramatically, he put his forehead in his hand. Sitting there, in the silence, Spencer felt a warm hand creep up on his wrist. He looked up, his eyes meeting Y/N’s in the dimly lit coffee shop. 

“Not at all.” Y/N said. She shook her head, a slight smile popping out of the corner of her mouth. “You’re too charming and handsome for your own good. Plus,” she gestures to her latte and the cases and cases of books that surround them, “Coffee and books are quite literally the way to my heart. And, who cares if this is your first date? That’s actually better for me because it means I get you all to myself.” 

Spencer, sputtering and flustered, made himself busy with his free hand. He sipped his coffee, perfectly sweet with a hint of spice from the cinnamon. As he sipped, Spencer’s attention was drawn to their joined hands. It seemed so….perfect. Their hands perfectly linked together with their fingers weaved in between. 

“Coffee and books are the way to my heart too,” Spencer commented, offering a timid smile. It was easier than he thought, but his heart still thumped frantically in his chest, “Would you like to check some out? I figured you’d have a couple recommendations being a librarian and all,” 

“Well,” Y/N started, standing up but still holding Spencer’s hand, “I’m a research librarian, but I do read like 200 books a year so I’m sure I can muster up a recommendation or two,” 

“I read 500,” Spencer said. His eyes were sheepish, but his lips curved up in a playful smile. 

“Really? That’s so impressive?” 

Spencer shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. He wasn’t quite used to people being impressed at his hefty reading load. Most people were either sympathetic or concerned because to most people reading 500 books a year must mean you’re rather lonely. But, Spencer supposed, Y/N wasn’t most people. 

“I-I can recommend some,” Spencer says. He let Y/N take his and lead him to the stacks of books, with the hope of this turning more and more perfect than it already was. 

– 

Spencer, sitting on the couch with Y/N’s body pressed into his, was acutely aware of how fast his heart was beating. He, again, was also acutely aware that it’s the first time someone so stunning has entered his personal space like this. His heart, figuratively his on his sleeve, but Spencer swore that it’s bound to leap out of his chest. Y/N’s head rested on his shoulder and her eyes were fixed on glowing television ahead. Spencer, despite having picked the television program, couldn't give even the most rudimentary of summaries. In fact, Spencer was pretty sure he couldn’t name the main character, even if this is his favorite show. 

“Does your impression of me deteriorate if I tell you that I’ve never watched an episode of Dr. Who?” she asked. Y/N’s voice vibrated against Spencer’s upper arm. He wanted to fold himself into her, to let his thumping heart steady with the smooth sound of her voice. Spencer, unable to find words, somehow found the courage to move his arm behind Y/N’s back, effectively pulling her in closer. 

“I’ll take that as a no,” Y/N said, a smirk, unseen, but evident in the playfulness of her voice. 

“Well if you told me you like Star Wars better than Star Trek,” Spencer joked. He silently counted how many beats his heart had made during their exchange. Y/N’s hand, which laid carefully against her lap, moved it to link her fingers in with Spencer’s. It was like a massive dose of adrenaline that flooded his entire system, bringing him, somehow, solace and energy in the single wave. 

“Hmm, well what if I’ve never seen either. Not really a sci-fi person,” 

“Then we’ll just have to go on another date,” Spencer said, surprising himself with his guts, “You know Star Trek is actually not scientifically inaccurate. More improbable, but given the decade in which it was originally conceived in, it’s pretty astounding,” 

“Another date it is then,” Y/N smiled, scooting in closer to Spencer. Suddenly, he’s grateful for the bone-chilling winter. He wore layers of button-down shirts and cardigans, a protective which acts as a protective barrier between their bodies. Spencer could hardly imagine how fast his heart would be beating if there were less clothes (or even no clothes) between them. 

“At a risk of sounding pathetic, Spencer,” Y/N started, the shake in his voice making Spencer realize that he just might be falling in love with her, “I really like you. I really do. You’re the kindest, most gentle man I’ve ever met. You’re just..” 

Y/N stopped, clearly at a loss for words when it comes to him. Spencer’s heart, already on the verge of stopping, realistically may not be able to take more compliments. 

“I envy everyone who has had the privilege to be loved by you" Spencer whispered, terrified to have someone this close, let alone someone as magnetic and perfectly perfect for him. 

But, she just about incinerated his highest expectations when she leaned in close, her head eclipsing the low, yellow light. Her lips were soft and warm. He wanted to melt into the kiss, let himself find peace in the way her hand rests against his elbow, gently coaxing him out of his shell. Spencer felt that familiar ache in his heart build, it’s a combination of adrenaline and serotonin and all those wonderfully potent drugs brains make when they’re happy.

“Perfect” Y/N said. Her lips still brushed against his lips. It was like she didn’t want to break the kiss yet and the very thought of that sends shockwaves down Spencer’s spine. He smiled, deciding that he too doesn’t want the kiss to end. Spencer brought his hands to the back of her head, pulling her in closer than she’s ever been. 

Their knees touched. 

He caressed her face with a single finger, afraid that if he touches her too rough, too fast, too much she’ll disappear into whatever magical place she came from. 

She bit his lip gently. Perhaps she’s the opposite. Maybe she needed to feel him whimper underneath her for her to realize it’s real. Her breath is hot against his skin, drawing him in. She smelled like coffee and vanilla. It was heavenly. It was magical. It was perfect. 

Spencer, brazen, threaded his fingers together behind her head. He drew her in close, desperately chasing the one thing he’s been craving for ages. He had it now. He had it now and he wasn’t going to let it go now. 

“God, you don’t kiss like it’s your first date.” Y/N cursed into Spencer’s lips. Emboldened by her teasing, Spencer pulled her in close, guiding her to sit on his lap. Thrilled, Spencer’s mind was ready to short circuit. He never felt this electric before. It was like he was wonderstruck. His blush burned into his skin and his hands shook as he ran them up and down Y/N’s back. Her lips felt like puddy against his, warm and soft. She groaned into his mouth, just as eager as Spencer was to have someone close to her body. 

In a flash, Spencer felt something soft against his leg. It wasn’t Y/N, who’s attention was squarely on kissing Spencer. It was Junie. 

“Junie!” Spencer shouted. He immediately regretted it. Even Spencer, with one date and one half of a makeout session under his belt, knew that calling another “woman’s” name out while with someone was the worst thing he could do. “Oh, shit. No, not that. It’s not that. It’s Junie. The cat. My cat,” Spencer explained, attempting to save himself. 

Y/N looked to her left and was greeted by the bright green eyes of an all gray cat. Spencer, mouth hanging open and half terrified, realized that Y/N wasn’t weirded out or hurt by the incident. Somehow, she found it rather hilarious. Laughing, Y/N was still perched in Spencer’s lap. She placed her hands against his shoulders, clearly finding humor in his cat interrupting their date. 

“And who might this be?” Y/N asked. She held her hand out, letting Junie sniff her. The gray cat, although old and particular in the people she likes, took an immediate liking to Y/N. 

“June. But she’s ridiculously stubborn and will only answer to Junie-Bug.” Spencer said. He picked June up, handing her to Y/N, who climbed off his lap, “She’s like my best friend.” Spencer admitted. 

“Spencer,” Y/N said. She said his name like an exclamation and immediately, Spencer knew it was a sound he could hear for a very long time, “That is the sweetest thing in the world. I have a cat too. His name is Chester. He’s my best friend too,” 

“I’d love to meet Chester, and maybe Junie-Bug can get a friend too,” Spencer said. He placed June on the couch next to them. She curled up on the couch, already comfortable near Y/N. 

“Well, I’m hoping you’re more than a friend to me,” Y/N teased. She nudged Spencer’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. 

Spencer, finally finding himself his footing, grabbed Y/N’s hand and gently kissed Junie on the forehead. 

“Sorry, Buggy. I think I’m going to have to lock the door for a little bit,” he faux apologized, smiling and winking brazenly at Y/N, who happily let Spencer lead her to his bedroom. 

“Only if she can come in later,” Y/N said. “She’s just too cute to not snuggle,” 

@reidslovely @reidsbookclub @spencerreidat3am @fightingdragonswithreid @hotchandspencearedilfs f@sadgirlml @spencerslibrary @foxy-eva @paperbackprettyboy @reidselle @alexxavicry y @justlivinginadaydream @reidsmilf @mrs-dr-reid @spencerreidsmommy @reidslibrarybook @sleepyspencer @goldentournesol

[hiddens-eden]

The Last Tune (Emmett Cullen x Male!Reader) Pt 1

Paring; Emmett Cullen x Male Reader + Cullen Family x Male Reader (PLATONIC)

Warning: Cursing, Abuse, Tramua, Angst

Pronouns; He/Him

Spelling checked; No

Summary; Y/N is a quiet boy that's had his fair share of physical and emotional trauma, so he loves to keep to himself. He barely interacts with anyone unless needed and prefers to listen to music and sketch in peace. So imagine his surprise when some of the most popular kids in school want to be around him! They heard him singing along with his music and were immediately entranced. One of them in particular has his eyes set on him. Though, they are not the only ones who have an interest in Y/N.

A/N; Hello, my little Otaku's! Welcome to my first fic! I hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated! Just be kind! I'm sorry if it seems at all rushed! On my next stories I do plan on switching PoV's so it'll be easier to write and more entertaining. Enjoy!

"Who are they?"a dark haired girl asked her friend that was sitting just across from their lunch table

"Those are some of the most popular people in school, the Cullen's. Not only are they hot as hell, but they're charming to boot! They do disappear for long periods of time, which gives them an air of mystery."

At the Cullen's table, they softly chuckled at the description the new girl was given. After all, it's only natural considering what they are. They are a being talked about in many fantasy tales. Known for their taste for blood. Vampires, a creature of the night that feasts on humans. However, they in particular don't drink human blood

They went back to softly talking to each other, but a few minutes later something caught their attention. A soft voice echoed in their eardrums. It was enchanting and beautiful, it was like nothing they've ever heard of. They all simultaneously started looking around for the source of the pleasant sound when the new girl asked about someone else.

"Who is that?" she asked, pointing to a table where a boy sat by himself

"Oh! That's (Y/N), (L/N)! He doesn't talk much, but when he does, you can't help but feel so tranquil and at peace!"

That caught the vampire's attention, and they whipped their heads to where the brunette was pointing. Noticing that that was where the sound is coming from.

"What do you mean?"

"His voice is so soft, like silk! But it has a sort of firmness to it! That's not the only thing, though. He is so kind, adorable, and smart as well! He even helps who ask for him to tutor them. His personality makes everyone want to be around him!"

That rose some questions in the vampires heads. If he is that well-liked, why is no one sitting near him?

"Then why is he alone?"

~The vampires will have to thank the new girl for asking so many questions~

"Well, whenever people come near him, he gets anxious and tries to get away as soon as possible. Someone grabbed him on accident, and he started having a panic attack, falling to the ground, and hyperventilating."

The Cullen's were a little shocked when they heard this. That wasn't normal for sure

"Holy shit. Was he okay?"

"Yeah, he was sent home early. But, some students saw his face as he was leaving and said that he looked terrified. We think something is going on where he lives, though we can't know for sure" she shrugged

"Once he came to school the next day, he was wearing long-sleeves. I thought it was weird considering he never wore them before, but the rest of the school shrugged it off as it being in the winter months making it reasonable. The person apologized the next day and (Y/N) just said it was fine, and he just likes being alone, so now that's what we do"

Right when the girl finished, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Making everyone get up and start to throw away their trash and head to class. All except one person...

"I don't think he heard the bell" Emmett said

"Gee, none of us would've guessed!" Rosalie responded, causing the other Cullen's to chuckle

Suddenly, Jasper's sight shifted to his wife Alice because he felt her stiffening up, a tell-tale sign of her power activating. The other vampires looked at her as well, waiting for her to relay what she saw. After a little bit she came to and, slowly, turned to Emmett grinning

"Emmett, why don't you go over and tell him class is about to start? Maybe even ask him to tutor you! We all know you need it." she remarked, still grinning

Starting to understand why she was acting like the way she was, Emmett sighed, wanting to protest, but he knew Alice's visions almost always came true, or they would end at the same conclusion.

He made his way over to where the boy was sitting

"Remember not to grab him!" Alice semi-shouted from where she was standing

Emmett waved her off, still approaching (Y/N)

He gently tapped (Y/N)'s shoulder, making the smaller boy jump in surprise and what Emmett can only assume is fear

(Y/N) turned his head around fast enough to give him whiplash and that's when he met the golden eyes of the person that startled him

He took his earbud out before speaking, "I-Is there s-something I can do for you?" (Y/N) asked shakily

Emmett stood there for a moment. He had never seen someone so hot and cute at the same time. The girl was right, too. His voice is the embodiment of angelic. Emmett took this chance to take in all the boys features, from his soft (S/C) skin that reflected the light of the cafeteria. To his intoxicating (E/C) eyes that he could get lost in over and over again. Emmett felt a small pull to (Y/N), and he knew exactly what it meant.

“H-hello? Are you alright?” (Y/N) asked

“I-I um…class is about to start…”

(Y/N) looked at the time and blushed

“So it is…” (Y/N) stood up and started collecting his things “T-thanks for letting me know” (Y/N) stood to leave but was stopped as Emmett stood in front of him

“I was wondering if you could help me study for chemistry? I’m currently failing” Emmett chuckled, rubbing the back of his head

"I-I don't mind, where should we meet?"

"How about the Library after school?"

(Y/N) smiled the slightest bit "Sounds good, now if you don't mind I need to get to class" and with that (Y/N) left the cafeteria heading to his next class. Emmett slowly rejoined his family, still in awe from the recent interaction.

Jasper grinned from the emotions Emmett was emulating

"It seems Emmett is very interested in that guy"

"Hell yeah I am! Did you see him?!"

"We did" Edward answered him, "But"

"But what?" Emmett asked

"I can't read his mind, same with the new girl"

"Does that mean they're a supernatural?" Rosalie asked

"No, they aren't. The new girl is a weird case, but (Y/N) seems to just have fantastic mental walls and barriers. Which is concerning..."

"Then I'll have to break them" Emmett smirked

The rest of the Cullen's let out a collective sigh as they made their way to their respective classes. Still wondering what was going on with the mysterious (Y/N).

The final bell rang, indicating the end of the school day. Students started to funnel out of their classes and into the hallways. Emmett was waiting outside (Y/N)'s classroom, ready to head to the library.

After waiting awhile of waiting, (Y/N) came out of the classroom books and binder in hand

"Hey"

(Y/N) jumped and turned around to see Emmett, a look of relief claimed his face

"You ready to go?"

"Y-yeah"

As they made their way to the library, they made some just talked about their interests and things of that nature, eventually arriving at their destination. After they settled in their seats with the necessary books, they started the study session.

Emmett found it cute, they way (Y/N) would nervously try and help him understand the complex formula's and equations. After a few explanations, (Y/N) sat down and started to work on his homework. Unconsciously, (Y/N) started to sing to himself, making Emmett perk up and look at him.

"You're a good singer"

(Y/N) blushed, "Thanks...but others don't think so..."

"Are you kidding me?!" Emmett stood up, causing (Y/N) to jump a little, "Your voice is amazing!"

(Y/N) blushed at the praise he was given. He'd never been complimented before, so this was new to him.

"Thank you" (Y/N) smiled, making Emmett's cold and dead heart swell with something he's never felt before

"N-no problem" Emmett said before sitting down, and starting to work again, still thinking of that cute-ass smile

Soon, the sun started to set and that was their cue to wrap things up.

"Could you tutor me again tomorrow? If you're free, that is" Emmett asked

"Sure, I should be open. Meet here after school?"

"Deal"

"Then I'll see you tomorrow" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett before walking to his place

To say Emmett was giddy is an understatement. He was over the moon. Not only did he get to be tutored by his adorable mate, but he also got him to open up and be more relaxed around him! He made his way back to his own house and entered with his head still stuck in the clouds. Unaware of the fact that the whole family was sitting in the living room

"It seems that Emmett had an amazing time" Jasper couldn't help but let out his own smile from Emmett's emotions

"Something good happen, Emmett?" Carlisle asked, intrigued by Jasper's comment

"I think he's the one"

"The One?" Esme questioned

Alice snickered, clearly happy that her vision seemed to have came true

"My mate" Emmett replied, still thinking about the fun time he had studying with (Y/N)

"Congrats!! But, make sure you claim him before anyone else!" Esme explained

"He's not an object, Esme" Carlisle chastised

"I know, but humans may not understand their feelings"

"I just have to take things slow. I don't want to scare him off"

~Next Day at School~

"Hey (Y/N)!"

"Hmm? Oh, hey Emmett!" (Y/N) smiled sweetly

As Emmett got closer to (Y/N) he noticed a very distinct smell coming from the boy. "(Y/N) are you alright?" he asked concern lacing his voice

(Y/N) visibly tensed and started to shake slightly. "U-um ye-yeah? I'm f-fine"

Emmett was less than convinced. He needed to know who or what hurt his mate, so he could end it's pitiful existence, then and there. Though, he decided not to add anymore fuel to the fire...yet.

"If you say so. We should head to to class"

"Yeah"

"Are we still on for tonight?"

"If you still want to, then yes" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett causing him to absolutely gush at his adorableness

"Yep! Totally!" (Y/N) chuckled at Emmett's response

While heading to class they just talked about whatever was on their minds. Well, mostly Emmett since (Y/N) is a closed off little bean <3. But, that didn't stop either of them from enjoying themselves. Even once they where in class they softly whispered to each other. Their teacher didn't care much because (Y/N) is a model student and Emmett is a popular kid (you know those teachers that try and get in with the cool kids? Yeah, that's their teacher). When they went their seperate way's for their second block (Y/N) though that was it, like all of the other people he's tutored. He just thought Emmett was being kind and he'd see him after school for their study session. But he was proven wrong at lunchtime.

(Y/N) was eating by himself at a table listening to music and singing along softly when he felt vibrations coming from next to him. He looked over to not only see Emmett, but the whole Cullen entourage in tow. He was shocked to say the very least.

"Can we sit here?"

Collecting himself he responded with a soft "Yeah". The Cullen's then sat down, Emmett sitting on your right and Alice on your left. She squealed and looked twoards you "I've wanted to actually talk to you for a while now! Emmett talks about you and your singing too! I hope I can hear you one day!" This, this was how (Y/N).exe has stopped working. You where an embarassed blushing mess while looking at Emmett in mock betrayal. 'He talks about me?' you thought. He just smirked enjoying your cuteness.

"Ahh!!! He's soo adorable!!" Now you were a even darker red. Only provoking Alice more as she got slightly closer to you. You were about to curl in on yourself when you felt that you were being griped by the waist and pulled into a solid chest.

"Alice, your going to make him explode" Emmett said slightly, just slightly defensive

She laughed "My my what about you then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look down, bonehead" Rosalie butted in amused

Emmett did what she said and saw you an absolute wreck. If a cherry was a person it would be you at this point-

Now he was trying to compose himself. The sight of both of you made everyone at the table start chuckling. After that whole fiasco you got to know Emmett's family and started to enjoy their presence. Something you never really had the pleasure of experiencing...

Over the next few weeks, Emmett did everything he could to be even remotely close to (Y/N). They would do studying sessions at the library, and after they would get something to eat. Well, only (Y/N) did. He thought it was weird Emmett never ate anything, but Emmett assured (Y/N) that he was eating well. They would often go to parks and just have fun too. However, all fun things come to an end. When one day (Y/N) didn't show up to school. Emmett just thought (Y/N) got a cold, but soon days turned to weeks and he was getting worried. He didn't know where (Y/N) lived so he couldn't go to his house and see if he was alright, but one day Carlise came home a little later than usual which was not unnoticed by his family.

"You're back late" Esme commented

"Well there is a teenager in critical condition. He came in with severe lacerations all over his body and what seemed to be marks of repeated tramua as well. He came in a couple of weeks ago and was in a coma until he flatlined earlier this morning" Carlise took off his doctor coat and placed it on the chair making his way to Esme. As he stood next to her he looked over to see his "children" with wide eyes

"Is something wrong?" Carlise asked a bit worried

"When did that patient come into the hospital?" Emmett asked urgently

"(Date). Why?"

With that all of the vampires stood up and started to get ready to go to the hospital

"What's wrong? Where are you guys going?" Esme asked

"That's most likely my mate" Emmett replied, making it clear he was irritated

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Esme rushed everyone out the door and to the hospital

At the hospital, they made their way to the room (Y/N) was at. Once there, Carlisle motioned for Emmett to enter first. Emmett went in and was shocked by what he saw. (Y/N) had many tubes attached to him. His body was wrapped in bandages and his breathing was hitching. Emmett walked over to the resting (Y/N) and reached out for his hand, grasping it softly. He rubbed his thumb over the boy's knuckles in a reassuring manner, then sat down next to the bed, still holding (Y/N)'s hand. He could only think about how much he failed his mate. How could he let this happen? He knew there was something going on, but he did nothing? He turned a blind eye to it all. How can he face (Y/N) when he wakes up? Emmett's thoughts were interrupted by someone's voice

"Who are you?"

"I should be asking you that" Emmett replied

"I'm (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

With that, Emmett's world stopped. Boyfriend? How? Why? Was I to late? Emmett turned to (Y/N) conflicted, but that's when he saw the heart monitor. His heart rate was not that high a while ago.

"Can you leave me with my boyfriend?" (B/F/N) asked harshly

Emmett reluctantly stood up and made his way to the door, but not before taking one last look at (Y/N). Once he was out of the room, Emmett started walking down the hallway back to his family.

"Who was that guy that went in there?" Rosalie went up to Emmett

"Apparently, he's (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

The Cullen's looked at Emmett in sadness and pity, but they noticed something

"You don't seem that bothered about it" Jasper said

"Well, before he came in, (Y/N)'s heart rate was normal, but when he spoke his heart rate rose"

"So, you think-"

"Yeah, his 'boyfriend' must've done that to him"

"That's awful" Esme covered her mouth in shock

"We can't really do anything if we don't have proof though" Alice said irritated

"Then we'll just have to get some" Emmett smirked, making the other Cullen's nod

They made their plan's and put them on hold until you were sent home. In the meantime, Emmett came to visit whenever your 'boyfriend' was never there and if he was, Carlisle was keeping a closer eye on you than normal. He also noticed that (B/F/N) would only ever sit in the chair across the room and when he would glance at you a look of disgust would be present on his face. This further solidified his resolve to get you out of that situation.

~A few days later while Emmett is visiting you~

"We're going to help you (Y/N), Everything will be better soon" Emmett reassured the sleeping male whilst holding his hand. He then felt (Y/N) clench his hand and looked up to see those beautiful (E/C) orbs opening

"Em-"

"Shh, don't strain yourself yet" Emmett stood up and pressed the 'call' button just above (Y/N)'s head before sitting back down

"Where-"

"The hospital...can you tell me what happened to you?"

After a brief pause, (Y/N) shook his ever so slightly

"That's fine, just tell me when you're ready" Emmett smiled sweetly. He saw (Y/N)'s face contort into sadness as he started crying. "I-I'm sorry f-for worrying you" (Y/N) choked out between sobs. Emmett couldn't see him cry like this, so he started to comfort and reassure the other male. "You'll be okay...I won't let you get hurt anymore..."

A/N: I really hope you liked it! Please tell me your thoughts! Sorry it took way longer than I said! I will now be working on the requests I have gotten and a new series I've conjured up ;)By my little Otaku's!!

[the-sun-and-the-sea]

TBOSAS Thoughts (Chapters 28-30, +Epilogue)

Coriolanus grapples with the moral aftermath of potentially turning Sejanus in via the jabberjays. This is one of those moments where I really feel like his morality is taking a turn for the worse. Although he doesn’t want Sejanus to actually die (he even tries to convince himself that outcome is unlikely, to assuage his guilt), he still had no problem betraying his best friend. 

Another thing I found interesting this chapter was the rebels’ plan to leave Panem and go ‘up north’ where there are no districts or Capitol. I wonder if there ever were people up there, and if so, are they still there by the events in the original trilogy? I feel like someone should write a fic about that because I’d love to read it. 

At the Covey’s weekly performance at the Hob, Coriolanus keeps a close eye on Sejanus in hopes of catching him working with the rebels. He finds Sejanus and a man named Spruce working to collect guns and supplies for their mission. However, plans are derailed by the arrival of Billy Taupe and Mayfair (the mayor’s daughter who is dating Billy Taupe). 

Coriolanus is concerned that Mayfair, who is not part of the rebel plan, will go tell her father everything she saw, including everyone who was involved. Naturally, he’s concerned that he’ll get busted for working with the rebels. Instead of taking the time to talk or think out a rational solution, he just grabs a gun and kills Mayfair. Just like that. No hesitation. He reasons that it was self defense because he’s saving himself from a potential hanging. He compares it to killing Bobbin in the arena, although he says this kill is easier. 

I don’t think the audience is supposed to see it that way, though. By now, it’s made very clear that Coriolanus is a dangerous person. His ambition and self-serving nature only serve to make him more of a threat to anyone who disagrees with him. 

He spends the next few days paranoid that he’ll be arrested for the murder of Mayfair, but it never happens. Instead, they just arrest Sejanus. At first, Coriolanus thinks that this will be a good wake-up call for Sejanus. But then he learns that Sejanus isn’t going to be spending time in jail, he’s going to be executed for treason. 

Coriolanus actually does start to feel guilty here, especially as he watches it happen. The execution hurt more to read this time than last, for some reason. Sejanus deserved so much better, and what happened to him was truly tragic. 

In chapter 29, Coriolanus grapples with his feelings about Sejanus’ death. He admits that he was the one to kill Sejanus, but rationalizes his decision by saying that it had to be done, and that Sejanus was on a self destructive path anyway. By this point in the book, it’s made very clear that Coriolanus has a skewed moral compass. 

His biggest concern, though, is that he will be arrested and charged with Mayfair’s murder. However, when the commander calls Coriolanus to his office, he only expresses his sympathy to Coriolanus and his gratitude at the sacrifice he made in turning Sejanus in. Coriolanus tells the commander that he and Sejanus were “like brothers” (because he only pretends to like Sejanus when he can get something out of it, as we know) which earns him more sympathy points. This whole scene is just infuriating. He just never faces any consequences. 

Coriolanus sees Lucy Gray again when the Covey performs at the commander’s birthday party. Their relationship looks as stable as it’s ever been (at least from Lucy Gray’s pov) because Coriolanus doesn’t tell her that he turned Sejanus in. He thinks trust is important and also recognizes that his girlfriend values trust above all else, and yet he lies to her like every chapter. 

Anyway, he and Lucy Gray make a plan to meet at the hanging tree and run away somewhere ‘up north,’ where Sejanus was going to go with the rebels. However, before Coriolanus can meet Lucy Gray, he learns that he has passed the test to begin training to become an officer. 

Chapter 30 begins with his initial excitement and pride about this new development in his Peacekeeper career, but it’s tinged with regret because Coriolanus knows he promised to meet Lucy Gray at the hanging tree so they can run away together. He decides to follow through on his plan with Lucy Gray and they run to the woods.

It’s here that Coriolanus realizes that he really, really hates the woods. He even says that it would be easier if he wasn’t “such an exceptional person.” That part always makes me laugh because the entitlement is so prominent. 

As they’re talking in the woods, it becomes increasingly clearer that Coriolanus and Lucy Gray are incompatible. I really like this slow build of tension. It’s gradual until Coriolanus realizes that Lucy Gray knows he’s the one who killed Sejanus, and then he decides that she must be eliminated. Like, the change is instantaneous. It’s absolutely wild how his mind works, but an incredibly fascinating read. 

After some deliberating, Coriolanus tries to kill Lucy Gray. But due to the rain and the mockingjays, he’s unable to tell if he actually shot her or not. I really like Lucy Gray’s real life ending paralleling the ending of her song; I think it’s so poetic and beautiful. Personally, I don’t try to fill in the gaps of what happened to her. I like the mystery. 

Another small detail that I wanted to point out is when Coriolanus gets back to the Peacekeeper base, he realizes that the rose powder from his mother’s compact has been damaged by the rain, so he throws it away. I really love this subtle symbolic representation of Coriolanus leaving his childhood behind. Conversely, the only thing that did survive the rain was his father’s compass, symbolizing the fact that he would take on his father’s traits in his adult life. 

The chapter ends with Coriolanus returning to the Capitol and learning that he was never meant to be a Peacekeeper in the first place; Dr. Gaul only meant to keep him there for the summer until he could start college classes in the fall. If this were any other protagonist, we’d be happy with this ending and glad our hero triumphed. But here, we know that Coriolanus is no hero, and the fact that he has no consequences for his actions just ends up feeling very unsatisfying, which it’s supposed to. 

One of the most striking things about the epilogue is that our main character isn’t referred to ‘Coriolanus’ anymore, he’s referred only by his last name, Snow. He feels more like the tyrannical president we know now. I really like how this was done so I just wanted to mention it.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing about the epilogue is that Snow is basically adopted by the Plinths and lives off their money. Even though he killed Sejanus, they treat him like a son because they don’t know the truth, and of course he lets them. It’s absolutely infuriating and it makes the tragedy of Sejanus’ outcome hit harder. 

We also learn that he bans shows at the Hob in District 12, which is so unnecessarily petty and totally sucks, because now the Covey has no way of making money. I just wanted to mention it because it felt so unjust. 

His last action of the book is to take yet another life by poisoning Dean Highbottom. We know from the original trilogy that Snow poisons his enemies and makes it look like an accident, so this action just seals the deal on what person he is becoming. 

I’m going to take a second to talk about my overall thoughts after the reread, then I’ll be done. Overall, I’m glad I did this reread and I found it very fascinating to go back and relive these moments. I think I got more out of the book this time than the first time. However, I will say that this is a hard book to reread. It can be difficult to get through some parts when you already know what’s coming. It feels like a very dense book and I probably won’t read it again for a while, even though I think the book is good. 

For these last chapters, I listened to I’ll Sell You For a Song, Pure as the Driven Snow, and The Hanging Tree. Here’s a link to the full playlist in case you want to listen to all the songs again. 

Thank you so much for reading my thoughts for the past ten weeks! Feel free to reblog this post or send an ask if you want to chat about the book. <3