#though the offer to help is on the table regardless haha

[el-writes-things]

the state of you

the biggest struggles of writing this were choosing a name for the fic and for xie lian's demonic dish from the pits of hell LMAO

super scuffed hualian sick fic based on this post by @draweltz :) i legit speedran writing this in like three days and didn't edit so please forgive me if it's like. exactly as terrible as i expect it to be HAHA

i'm also notoriously terrible at writing proper endings so i apologize for that as well

u can read the fic here (under the cut) or on ao3

likes n rbs are super appreciated :)

Given the noises and scents emitting from the kitchen of their apartment, Xie Lian’s cooking wasn’t going… conventionally well. 

Hua Cheng didn’t mind in the slightest, though, humming to himself softly as he twirled his chopsticks expertly around his long fingers. He’d offered his help already, as usual, and Xie Lian had declined, wanting to surprise him with some kind of odd, inventive meal, as usual. 

He enjoyed being able to help Xie Lian in every way, but he didn’t argue too much about the cooking matter. Xie Lian was the first and only person who deigned to cook for him, and he seemed to take pleasure in preparing meals, so who was Hua Cheng to argue? 

Tapping his chopsticks against the wood of their low-set dinner table gently, Hua Cheng tried to contemplate what Xie Lian had made today. It was an impossible endeavor based on smell alone, but he tried regardless, calling out guesses to amuse his husband. 

“Is it… stew?”

“Nope,” Xie Lian called back over the sound of sizzles. 

Hua Cheng considered the noises. “Is it… meat?”

“Wrong!”

“Really? Then, is it-”

A light laugh from the kitchen instantly warmed Hua Cheng’s heart. “Stop guessing, San Lang! Let me surprise you for once.”

“Oh, I’m always surprised by your cooking,” Hua Cheng replied sincerely, earning him another laugh. 

“I’m almost done, okay? Just wait another minute or two,” Xie Lian told him. 

Instantly, Hua Cheng rose from his seat on the floor. “Does gege want help carrying plates to the table?”

“I’m alright!” Xie Lian chirped. A series of sharp clatters met Hua Cheng’s ears and he winced, concerned. “Okay, close your eyes.”

Hua Cheng obeyed, covering his good eye with one hand. Soft footsteps announced the arrival of the martial god, followed by the sound of two plates being set down gracefully on the table in front of him. 

“You can open your eyes now,” Xie Lian told him, and he moved his hand away.

The dish was, simply put, a monstrosity. Purple and pink bubbles popped at the surface of a thick, strange substance speckled with starbursts of orange and yellow. Equally horrible was the smell, pungent and awful. Hua Cheng looked up at his husband, seated to his left, with a grin. 

“What is it called?”

“I call it ‘Dreams of Summer Nights Passed’,” Xie Lian replied. 

Hua Cheng nodded affirmatively, picking up a spoon and stirring it through the plate. Beneath the pink and purple substance was a densely packed white… rock?

“And what’s in it?” Hua Cheng chipped away at the rock for a bite. He brought it up to his lips with a playful smile. 

“It’s rice and strawberry curry. I put carrots and corn in it, too. Look, Ruoye helped me cut the carrots into neat pieces!” 

Hua Cheng placed the bite in his mouth, chewing slowly. He scraped away at the rice-rock for another bite, mixing it with the curry again. 

“It’s good,” he said when he’d finished chewing. “I like it. It’s one of your best.”

Xie Lian beamed at him and pulled his own plate closer to himself. “I’m glad you like my cooking, San Lang,” he told the Ghost King happily, spearing a carrot with the sharp end of his chopsticks.

“Of course I do. What’s not to like about it?”

The god gave him a half-amused, half-exasperated look. “Do you not remember what happened to poor Quan Yizhen?” He popped the carrot into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

“Well, it wasn’t your fault that he wasn’t strong enough to handle your food. I, for one, will never ever be sick of, or from, your cooking.”

“Does San Lang promise?” Xie Lian teased. 

“Of course, gege,” was his easy response, and he prepared another bite. “I promise.”

Xie Lian grinned at him and Hua Cheng grinned back, savoring the taste of the strange curry and Xie Lian’s happiness.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

Hua Cheng woke up feeling terribly, horribly, awfully, dreadfully ill.  

He shuddered violently, and Xie Lian shifted in his arms. He froze immediately, then slowly disentangled himself from his sleeping husband, clenching his jaw against the waves of nausea rising up within him. 

When Hua Cheng had stumbled out of the room and down the hall, he slumped against the wall and hugged his stomach, willing himself to stay strong. 

You’re a Supreme Ghost King. You’re over eight hundred years old. You’ve lived through things that were thousands of times worse than this. This is ridiculous. 

He sucked a breath in through aching lungs- then stopped. 

The next thing he knew, he was heaving over the toilet. 

Hua Cheng shivered miserably, silvery pinpricks of sweat rolling down his spine. The bathroom floor was cold, colder than he remembered, and he clenched the sides of the porcelain bowl with a vengeance. 

Another wave of nausea came crashing over him, and he gave in to it, only caring now that his husband didn’t hear him. 

A quiet minute passed, then two. Hua Cheng rose on shaking legs to walk to the sink. He caught sight of his own reflection and shuddered. His gaze averted quickly and he splashed water on his face, trying to rinse the foul taste out of his mouth. 

What on earth was wrong with him?

He’d never before had this kind of reaction to the food that Xie Lian had cooked for him before. He’d prided himself in the way he never flinched, and had grown to thoroughly enjoy the food that was prepared for him with such love. 

Hua Cheng despised this feeling of weakness.

As if on cue, he could feel his stomach churn in rebellion.

It was all he could do to lean over the toilet again, shove his long black hair out of the way, and not make a mess.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

When his vision cleared and his consciousness drifted back into his aching body, Hua Cheng sat up. He rolled his neck, trying to work the stiffness out of it.

Judging by the slant of moonlight shifting through the window, only an hour or two had passed since he’d passed out, slumped against the wall. 

Hua Cheng swiped a hand across his mouth, staring with disgust at the bile that came away on his fingers. He stood slowly, trying his best not to stumble, and washed off in the sink again. 

Silently, he surveyed the bathroom. Despite his best efforts, he’d made a mess, one he’d rather die than leave for his husband to clean up.

Body still wracked with chills and tremors, Hua Cheng fished paper towels and a cleaning spray out from under the sink. He dropped heavily to his knees, ignoring the pain shooting through his stomach, and began to clean.

Tears began to prickle the corner of his eye and he closed his eyes. Self-hatred and confusion gripped him, and he clenched his fists. 

Why would he be having this reaction? Was he really losing his powers? He hated this immensely, hated that he wasn’t strong enough for Xie Lian. 

Hua Cheng disposed of the paper towels with shaking hands. He sat down again beside the toilet, hugging his knees, unable to stop the flow of tears down his face. 

Slow, unsteady breaths filled his lungs, and he clamped his mouth over his sobs. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with the warmth of his husband tucked in the curve of his body. 

But he still reeked and he would never, ever, ever want Xie Lian to see him like-

“San Lang?” 

Hua Cheng froze, trying not to breathe too loudly, raising his other hand to try to stifle himself. 

It’s not enough, though, and he let out a loud hic that echoes in the bathroom. Hua Cheng glared down at his hands, annoyed at the way his body seemed to be betraying him at every turn. 

“San Lang?” Xie Lian’s voice was closer now, and Hua Cheng tried to sit up straighter. He hated that he’d made him get out of bed. 

“Are you in the bathroom? Seriously, what are you doing in there?” Xie Lian’s voice is teasing and gentle until he flicks the light on. His mouth makes the shape of a soft o, unbound hair flowing freely around his shoulders. Lit by the silver light of the moon and the golden light of the bathroom, he looks beautiful, an untouchable god.

Hua Cheng was, by stark contrast, a complete mess. His hair was tangled and undone, falling in messy snarls around his shoulders. The front of his shirt was wrinkled and half-wet from his attempts to clean it off. His stomach still hurt and he could only imagine how pale his skin was. 

It was mortifying to be seen like this. He tried not to sniffle, reaching up to wipe the tears off his face. 

Xie Lian was quicker, dropping down with his usual grace to cup Hua Cheng’s face with his hands, running his thumbs over his cheeks tenderly. Hua Cheng’s best efforts couldn’t stop the low sob that escaped his lips. He lowered his eyes, embarrassed. 

“What’s wrong, San Lang?” Xie Lian moved closer, forcing Hua Cheng to meet the concern in his ethereal golden eyes. He refuses to speak, closing his lips together tightly. 

But his husband was perceptive, and the pain in his eye and the way one arm was still half-curled around his stomach protectively must’ve given it away. 

“Oh, no.”

Hua Cheng began to cry again, for real this time, and Xie Lian pulled him close. His fingers combed through Hua Cheng’s hair. 

“It’s alright. I’m here now. Oh, San Lang, why didn’t you wake me up? You don’t have to suffer alone.”

Hua Cheng’s instincts took over and, in a moment of physical and mental weakness, he finally reached up and pulled Xie Lian’s body close to his own. He tried not to care about how bad he probably smelled. 

Xie Lian lost his balance with a soft oof, falling forward onto Hua Cheng’s body. He buried his face in Xie Lian’s soft hair, inhaling deeply. The familiar scent of lavender shampoo filled his senses. 

“Will you tell me what happened?” Xie Lian asked Hua Cheng quietly, drawing back slightly to look at him. His voice was steady, and he didn’t pry when Hua Cheng shook his head and pointed to his mouth. 

“Okay. I’ll help you up, is that okay?”

Hua Cheng hated feeling powerless, hated the dizziness that overcame him and pushed him to lean heavily on his husband’s side as they shuffled towards the sink together. “Ge.. ge…” 

But Xie Lian was strong, and Hua Cheng knew that. “It’s alright, San Lang. Come, here’s your toothbrush. You got it? I can help you…”

Five thoroughly humiliating minutes passed by before they were on their bed, having successfully made it out of the stinking bathroom and into their shared room. 

Xie Lian helped Hua Cheng recline his head against their propped-up pillows before he ducked out of the room. He returned with tall glass full nearly to the brim with water. His dependable hands didn’t spill a single drop when they brought the cup to Hua Cheng’s lips, allowing him to drink slowly. 

When he was done, Xie Lian placed the cup on the bedside table before climbing into bed with Hua Cheng. He sat beside him, legs pressed against Hua Cheng’s side when he turned to face him. “Are you alright?”

Hua Cheng managed a nod, still too embarrassed to say much more. He found that he was even more reluctant to tell Xie Lian what happened now that he was out of the bathroom and with his husband.

“San Lang.” Xie Lian’s voice was reprimanding, yet kind. “Tell me what happened. Please?” 

The two locked eyes, golden eyes determined and shining, black eye a swirl of conflicting emotions.

Hua Cheng could never deny his husband of anything he’d asked, however, and he told him the whole story in strung together pieces, trying desperately not to meet his eyes.

Xie Lian’s hand drifted over to cover Hua Cheng’s and he listened attentively, nodding when it was appropriate. When Hua Cheng finished, Xie Lian sat silently, as if contemplating something.

“San Lang, why wouldn’t you wake me up or tell me?”

“It’s… gege, I never get sick from your food and I don’t ever want you to stop cooking for me just because… because of something like this…” he trailed off, then closed his eyes. “And I don’t even know what caused it. I’m always fine and I love that you cook for m-”

“San Lang,” Xie Lian said, his hand squeezing Hua Cheng’s reassuringly. “Have you ever considered that you might just be… allergic to what I made?” Allergies. Hua Cheng’s mouth opened, then closed. It made sense, and he hadn’t even considered it. “Oh.” 

Xie Lian smiled and moved closer, wrapping his arms gingerly around Hua Cheng’s torso and snuggling close. “My poor San Lang. Will you come wake me up if this ever happens?”

Hua Cheng laid his cheek against the top of Xie Lian’s head, nodding. 

“Thank you. Do you want to sleep now? You must be tired.”

“Actually, gege… I’m a bit hungry. Any leftovers?”

Xie Lian looked up to gape at Hua Cheng. He chuckled quietly, turning to pull Xie Lian into his arms. 

“Only joking, gege. Unless…”

His husband bumped the back of his head against the curve of Hua Cheng’s neck teasingly, and Hua Cheng laughed again, already feeling better.

[tvlandofficial]

[ Transmission… start? ]

📺 SO, HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING OUR FIVE–STAR DE–LUXE SPECIAL?

🖤 Ohh, umm… it’s nice! A bit disorienting, with all the, um… spa treatments? But nobody’s ever treated me like this before, I can certainly say that!

📺 CAN YOU? THAT’S A REAL SHAME…

📺 BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOUR VISIT TODAY IS ALL–EXPENSES–PAID! A REAL PRETTY PENNY FOR GLORIFIED BABYSITTING, HUH? { CANNED LAUGHTER }

🖤 My creator thought that you’d have, um, valuable knowledge for me when it comes to managing an audience… what are these weird limes for?

📺 THOSE’RE CUCUMBERS, SMALL SCREEN! DON’T EAT ‘EM, THEY GO ON YOUR EYES.

📺 NOW, I WAS GETTING TO THINKING… WHAT KINDA PROGRAM ARE YOU, ANYWAYS? YOU’RE PRACTICALLY MADE FOR MARKETABILITY! A FUTURE RATINGS WHIZ IN THE MAKING!

🖤 Umm… you could consider me a guide for a specific audience. Though I’m not really part of your ratings system, haha.

📺 NOT YOU TOO! AND I THOUGHT THE ROUNDABOUT RESPONSES FROM THE GUY WHO PUT ME UP TO THIS WERE TOO MUCH… { CANNED LAUGHTER }

📺 OH, WELL. MET MORE THAN A COUPLE ODD EGGS IN MY DAY. BUT REGARDLESS OF WHAT KINDA DARKNER YOU ARE, THE OFFER’S ALWAYS ON THE TABLE! I’M SURE I COULD FIND SOME WAY TO SLOT YOU IN!

🖤 Sorry, I have very specific obligations. I’m glad you find me so marketable, though! That’s very important!

📺 OH, AIN’T THAT RIGHT? THAT YOUR PURPOSE TOO, SMALL SCREEN?

📺 …

📺 I’LL BE FRANK – YOU SOUND MORE SNIPPY ABOUT IT THEN YOU DID WHEN WE FIRST FOUND YOU! IS THE RAT RACE STILL GETTING TO YOU?

📺 YOU CAN RELAX, Y’KNOW. THAT’S WHY YOU’RE HERE.

📺 … UNLESS ALL THAT PRE–SHOW STUFF WAS THE ACT?

🖤 I prefer to think of it as more of an exaggeration, really. Isn’t that what an audience likes? Someone who reacts cutely to every push and pull?

🖤 ...

🖤 …I’m still not too good at it. The, um… the persona thing. Putting on the face for the audience. I keep messing up. They can smell it, you know? A drop of blood and they want to pry you open for the rest. Being genuinely hurt is one thing. But being someone less soft underneath it… that can get dangerous.

📺 …

📺 YEESH. THAT’S SOME HEAVY STUFF.

📺 BUT LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. YOU’VE STILL GOT YOUR PURPOSE! THAT’S A LOT BETTER THAN MOST FOLKS!

📺 AND HEY. TAKE IT FROM A DAME WHO’S BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK A FEW TIMES.

📺 IF BLOOD’S WHAT THEY WANT…

📺 WE’VE GOT PLENTY OF SPECIAL EFFECTS TO SELL ‘EM ON IT!

📺 HELPS TO HAVE A COUPLE GOOD TRICKS UP YOUR SLEEVE, I ALWAYS SAY.

🖤 Haha. And what’ll it cost for you to teach me? Or should I assume my creator’s already paid the price here?

📺 LISTEN, SMALL SCREEN.

📺 FROM ONE DARKNER TO ANOTHER…

📺 I’LL TEACH YOU FREE OF CHARGE! IT’S A DARKNER–EAT–DARKNER WORLD OUT THERE…

📺 AND I MAY BE CUTTHROAT, BUT I’M NOT ALL BUISNESS.

📺 WE’LL HAVE YOU BALANCING ON THOSE WIRES IN NO TIME!

🖤 Haha. Well, I’ll keep my eyes out for whatever strings you have attached to those wires, then.

🖤 ...Um. Thanks, though. It’ll be useful.

📺 OH, UH. IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT HOW...

📺 EH, NEVERMIND. YOU’RE WELCOME, KID. ANYTIME. { AUDIENCE “D’AWWW”S }

📺 … OH, HEY, YOU OVER THERE! BE SURE TO GET MY GOOD SIDE!

📺 WE DON’T TELEVISE EVERYTHING JUST FOR YOU TO FOCUS ON BOTTLES OF SOAP, Y’KNOW! THIS IS A 24/7 SHOW!

🖤 Wait, we were being taped-?!

[ End transmission…? ]

[iglooracing]

sebchal, sebson, martian - sebtirement 🥹

oh a writing AND emotions challenge haha i love it, thank you! i very very briefly considered putting all of these into one fic bUT also very very quickly decided against that. 3 sebtirement drabbles coming right up! sebson and martian below the cut.

send me a pairing and a festive prompt for a 10 sentence drabble?

// sebchal //

“i’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” charles says as he watches seb reach for the bottle of tequila, again.

“why not?” seb asks with an exaggerated pout.

“how many shots have you had tonight?” charles retorts.

seb just shrugs and takes a swig right from the bottle, so charles reaches out and tries to pull it back.

“that’s why!” charles says as seb giggles.

charles can’t help but laugh with him at how happy and carefree seb is right now, even though for him it still feels a bit more bitter than sweet.

“you’re staring,” seb muses as he leans closer into charles on the couch.

“i am,” charles agrees. “it is hard not to.”

seb blushes, and charles isn’t quite sure if it’s the alcohol or his compliment, but it makes him smile wider regardless.

charles only stops staring because seb leans in to kiss the smile right off his face.

// sebson //

“alright, so, i know you said no retirement gifts,” jenson says as he enters the living room.

“i did,” seb replies without looking up as he dog ears a page of the sustainable farming book he’s been reading.

“yes, you did,” jenson replies. “but i didn’t break the bank for this and i think you’ll like it.”

“oh really?” seb asks, still focused on his book.

“mmmm yup, i really do,” jenson replies as he grabs the book out of seb’s hands and places it pages down on the coffee table.

“hey! i was in the middle of a paragraph, jense!” seb whines. “you’re so annoyi-“

his complaint gets stuck when he sees that jenson is holding a small cake that says ‘welcome to the old geezers club’ and he starts laughing instead.

“annoyingly sweet,” seb says as he leaps off the couch to wrap his arms around jenson’s neck to pull him in for a kiss.

“oy, sebi, watch the cake!” jenson cries as the cake is almost squished between them.

“oh shut up,” seb murmurs as he takes a bit of cake in his hand and shoves it into jensons mouth with a laugh against his cheek.

// martian //

as they’re walking away down the paddock from the interview, mark wraps an arm around seb’s shoulder and pulls him in closer.

“i think that may have been our last interview together ever,” seb muses. he doesn’t even stumble as he fits under mark’s arm and mark’s stomach flips when seb laughs quietly as they fall in step.

“oh, never say never,” mark chides as he pinches at seb’s ear. “you could always come back to racing.”

seb giggles and mark is sure he sees a blush rising on his cheeks.

“oh, i don’t know about that,” seb replies, and his voice is more serious than mark would like.

“so what’s next, huh?” mark asks, hoping he doesn’t sound too hopeful. “you really don’t have any idea what you want to do now?”

seb hums and mark watches as he tucks a stray curl behind his ear.

“i remember hearing something about a glass of red,” seb teases, but he bites his lip as he looks up at mark through his lashes. “if that offer still stands?”

mark takes in a breath before smiling back at him. “your room or mine?”

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

The Choosing Ball (3/?)

Janus rescues Roman from an unpleasant situation and from it finds himself burdened with feelings he's not quite sure what to do with.

Hopefully, Virgil can help him out.

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| <- Previous | First | Next -> |

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Warnings: Some TWs for this chapter:

Panic attack, vague harassment(not sure what to call that one)

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Whoo another chapter!

This does mean y'all aren't getting another chapter of the fae fic, but I've ran into some pretty bad writer's block because of exams, and the first five chapters of this one are already written. This'll be happening instead of the usual Sunday fic whenever I don't have something else to post whilst I'm attempting to kick the writer's block in the ass!

Also apologies for not posting last week, genuinely? I completely forgot, haha, oops.

Please enjoy regardless, and leave feedback if you can, it really helps me throw off the writers block xP

----

The banquet had gone about as well as he’d expected. He’d ended up sitting next to Patton and across from Remus, which was awful in itself because Remus was both a messy eater and an awful flirt, and not even in an entertaining way. He was resolutely ignoring the noble girl next to him and her never ending attempts to flirt with him- no thank you, he was very much not into women and that was a standard he would stick with even when he had eventually had to choose. He had made eye contact with Roman once- the other prince was sitting further down the table. With Roman's earlier enthusiasm directed towards the banquet, Janus was surprised to find Roman's eyes almost cried for help. Janus almost felt bad that he couldn't offer him any.

Somehow, between all of this, he had managed to eat enough food to be satisfied without anyone calling him out for eating more than would be considered polite. Yet another trait that came with his curse. 

As the banquet ended and the royals began to file out of the grand hall, Janus had been prepared to head immediately back to his room and try his best to sleep without Virgil. Unfortunately his slightly upsetting plans were pushed back as he heard a call from down the hallway, glancing around to find that no-one else seemed to have heard, Janus huffed and stalked towards the noise.

When he turned the corner he was surprised to once again see Roman, though now he didn’t seem quite like the dashing prince he had portrayed himself as back in the library, now he looked almost like a mouse cornered by a cat- the cat in this situation now being two more noble girls who were attempting to persuade Roman to come back to their room to do who knows what. Roman noticed his approach and his eyes widened, practically begging Janus for help. Well, Janus wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to scare people who deserved it now would he?.

And also… something in him couldn't turn away even if he wanted to anyway, not with Roman looking at him like that.

“Hey!” Janus called, slipping neatly in between Roman and the women, "Back off."

He could feel Roman behind him, practically cowering and breathing quickly- sharp and shallow. From living with Virgil for so long, he knew the signs of a panic attack more than well enough to recognise them.

“Hey, come on, Prince, we were just having a little fun,” One of the girls pouted, the other nodded.

“We weren’t doing anything wrong,” The other said with a groan, “We were just being nice!”

“Something tells me he’s not interested ,” Janus hissed, leaning closer to them, one of the girls yelped at the sound, the other grabbed her arm and huffed, pulling her away in as sophisticated a manner as she could. As soon as they had turned the corner Janus turned to face Roman. 

“May I touch you?” Janus asked first, Roman stared at him, eyes wide in fear, “I want to help you and I will either way, but I need to know if you’re alright with touch.”

Slowly, Roman shook his head, as if testing whether that was ok, Janus nodded with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. 

“Alright, that’s ok,” Janus nodded, “I’m going to count, and I’d like you to try and breathe in time, alright?”

Roman nodded and Janus started to count slowly, breathing in and out between each number as he did so that Roman could copy him, slowly the other prince started to match the rhythm. Janus kept counting until he was certain that Roman’s breaths had returned to a regular rhythm and his shaking had ceased somewhat. 

“Thank you…” Roman said quietly, “I… that was incredibly un-princelike, my apologies,”

“There is nothing ‘un-princelike’ about being afraid,” Janus said, offering a hand, unsure of whether or not Roman would take it, “Come, we can go somewhere quiet where you can relax.”

Roman looked at his hand suspiciously, before looking back up at his face, which- he realised- was still half covered by the veil. It was strange how he’d gotten used to it so quickly. After a long moment, though, Roman took his hand.

“Alright,” Roman said, taking a deep breath to steady himself, “Lead the way, Janus.”

—-

“Is there a reason you hide your face?” Roman asked after they had sat in silence for far too long, only punctured by the fire crackling in the background. The candles in the library were already lit when they had arrived, but just as it had been earlier that day, the library was empty. Janus tensed, looking back over at Roman. He knew the question would be asked eventually.

It seemed that Roman had noticed him tense because the other prince tried immediately to retract his statement, but Janus just took a deep breath to steady himself, remembering Virgil’s earlier words, maybe Roman wouldn’t mind. 

“I bear a curse,” He said, before he could pull back the words, Roman stared at him in surprised, Janus took another deep breath and continued, “It has changed the appearance of half my body, including my face,”

“Is… that why you wear those gloves, too?” Roman asked after a second, reaching for one of Janus’ hands before hesitating, though before he could pull his hand away Janus reached out to take it. 

“It is,” He nodded, before hesitating, “Take it off, if you’d like, I’ll allow you to see,”

“...Really?” Roman asked, “Is that not- intimate?”

“Seeing my hand, Prince Roman? What a scandal!” Janus said, tone dripping with sarcasm, putting his other hand to his chest. Roman chuckled, shaking his head.

“That really did sound silly,” Roman huffed, before looking back down at Janus’ hand and carefully pulling off the glove, revealing the scaled hand underneath, with greenish yellow patterns and claw like nails, Roman placed the glove carefully down on the sofa between them before taking Janus’ hand in both of his now.

“Wow,” Roman said, cut with a little laugh as he brushed his thumb over Janus’ scales, he really hoped Roman didn't notice him shiver, “This is… I’ve never seen anything like this before,”

“It’s unbecoming,” Janus sighed, “That is why I hide my hand and face,”

“Unbecoming? Why? What’s wrong with it?” Roman asked, genuine confusion written across his face as he gripped Janus’ hand a little tighter.

“It’s ugly,” Janus shrugged again, “And it has to be hidden, that’s what I’ve always been told, anyway.”

“I disagree,” Roman told him with a smile.

“So does Virgil,” Janus looked away, “He keeps trying to convince me I’m pretty, of all things.”

“Well then, I personally agree with Virgil,” Roman said, his smile slowly becoming a grin.

“You haven’t seen my face,” Janus told him.

“You haven’t shown it to me,” Roman fired back, Janus rolled his eyes before looking away and lifting the veil and tucking it behind his crown to keep it away from his face, he blinked twice at the shift in light- although he couldn’t see quite so well through that eye regardless- and looked back at Roman. He stared, wide eyed and open mouthed. Janus was about to turn away with a muttered ‘I told you so’ before suddenly hands were cupping his cheeks, Roman was… touching him- and he… didn’t mind…? How odd. 

“I’m sorry,” Roman mumbled, pulling his hands away almost immediately and joining them in his lap, Janus had to try harder than he should have to resist grabbing his hands and putting them back, “I just- you looked as though you were about to turn away, and my voice wouldn’t do what I wanted it to do,”

“I see,” Janus said, feeling a little awkward. It was odd, how Roman’s hands had felt on his face, he could almost still feel it. Usually he wouldn’t allow people to touch him so much, Virgil being the exception, what on earth was it about Roman that made him trust the guy so much?

“I still think you’re very beautiful,” Roman said, smirking at him, “Your scales are like that of a snake, and snakes are such wonderful creatures, wouldn’t you agree?”

Janus took a deep breath, before standing up and stepping away from Roman. He let the veil fall back over his face and tugged the glove that Roman had removed back onto his hand, Roman looked started, “I… I believe it is time we should head our separate ways, Prince Roman, I am tired and would like to at the very least attempt to sleep before the ball tomorrow.”

Roman seemed to deflate at this very obvious dismissal, and he almost sat right back down, some irrational urge inside of him wanting to run his fingers through Roman’s hair the same way he did with Virgil, to lie with him and convince him that everything would be okay . Instead he just turned before he left the space they had been sharing.

“I’ll… see you tomorrow?” He said slowly, unsure. He didn’t know what this was, he didn’t know what Virgil would think about what he was feeling, and he definitely didn’t know what to do about it. He must have done something right, though, because Roman perked up a little and sent a blinding smile in Janus’ direction.

“See you on the morrow, my handsomest prince,” Roman said. Waving as Janus walked away. 

Well, that was something else to think about now, wasn’t it?

—-

It was difficult enough for him to sleep without Virgil by his side at the best of times. Let alone in an unfamiliar bedroom with three other princes, one of which was definitely viable to attempt to murder him whilst he slept. And not only that, which he’d expected and almost been prepared for, but now he had to worry about Roman on top of all of that. Janus was certain he wouldn’t be getting any sleep at all if he didn’t at least get to settle one of these issues. 

The other three occupants of his room were already sleeping when he- careful to be silent- pushed open the door. He thought for a moment that he could absolutely sneak out to go and find Virgil, but he pushed that thought aside until he had sat down on the bed, hair now truly loose once again after he had braided it before the banquet earlier and dressed into his bedclothes. He was vulnerable like this. He didn’t wear his gloves to sleep, because that would be incredibly uncomfortable, and his face was fully visible. Although he still wore long, loose sleeves he felt as though he was practically naked. 

The thought that he could go out and sneak off to find Virgil floated back into his head. He could talk to Virgil and he would be able to help Janus sort through this stupid mix of feelings he found himself dealing with. He’d be able to help him calm down, perhaps even enough to get to sleep, not to mention it would stop Janus from worrying about Virgil himself so much. 

He groaned quietly, knowing his mind had already made itself up, and stood, silently slipping out of the room and down the stairs,the soft slippers on his feet hardly making a single sound. 

It had taken him as long as it took to reach the low wall around the guard’s sector to realise that he wasn’t actually in the know as to where Virgil would be at this particular moment. He sighed, it would delay his plans a little, but he could sneak around a little more to find out, nothing too awful… it may just take a little longer.

----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

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[god-fucking-dammit-mizutani]

mmm is it weird to ask if anyone would be willing or interested in beta-ing some of my taishirous here and there? Just an eye to tell me if something doesn't make sense especially re: characters or plot or to tell me if it's boring and needs re-working and that sort of thing?

[roger-that-cap]

cardigan

natasha romanoff x f!reader

word count: 8.9k (haha)

warnings: swearing, cheating!natasha, sad!reader, uhm this is angsty for me, asshole!natasha, sort of asshole!team, more angst, sort of happy ending sort of, secrets™️

this is inspired by taylor swift’s cardigan. folklore and evermore are really getting me through this i swear

obviously i do not own this song, picture, or any of the warped lyrics that i attempted to slide in as creatively possible :) this is also my first one shot and my first reader insert ever- i tried to not go into any physical details about miss y/n but i hope y’all like it!

No editor. All mistakes are 100% mine!

You couldn’t have been any more excited to see Natasha. She had been gone for what felt like forever on a mission with Steve, Bucky, and some agent that was on her first big mission, a girl that you recalled to be named Abigail. Regardless of what her name was, they were all heading home today after so long, nearly two months.

There was no telling how much you were ready for the return of your fiancée. The two of you had promised to get married nine months ago, and you were already deep into planning. You were going to your dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s (your literal childhood wish) in two days. You had the venue picked, the table accessories done, the seating chart already filled out and sitting pretty in laminated sheets in a binder. The day was going to be perfect, and it was what you and Natasha deserved after so long. Especially Natasha, after every single thing that she had been through just to save the world and to help those who weren’t able to help themselves.

Natasha was your angel.

Your heart was racing in your chest as you waited for the quinjet to land, the ring feeling light on your left finger as you rolled back and forth on your feet. You couldn’t hold back a toothy grin as you waited for them to fly back in, and to hug Natasha again. That was the most important part. To have her back in your arms so that you could do things like stay in together for the weekend and stay holed up in their room just doing innocent things, like counting each other’s heartbeats.

You stood with your hands clasped in front of your body as they landed, a dopey grin on your face and the same nervous glint in your eye that was there every time that you waited for your fiancée to come back home. You knew that Natasha would always find her way back to you, but there was no telling what condition she would be in.

The moment the doors opened, Abigail ran through them, and down the ramps nearly knocking you over. You reached your arms out to steady the other girl, who looked like she was about to burst into tears at any second. As much as you wanted to just hug Natasha and go home after you ate and sleep in bed with her, you couldn’t leave a girl in tears like that without checking on her. “Woah, are you okay, sweetie?”

The girl’s bottom lip jutted out, like she was about to cry just because of you asking the question. She didn’t say anything, but she was obviously falling apart from the inside, and it made you more than mildly concerned. You didn’t like to see anyone cry, let alone a girl who had just come back from her first big mission. “I’m fine.” Her voice cracked.

“Are you sure?” You were no medic or super soldier or even assassin-spy, but you were nothing if not rational and sympathetic. You were so in tune to the poor girl that you didn’t feel the palpable awkwardness of everyone else who walked off of the quinjet, almost all of them cringing. “Do you need to talk to someone?”

“I- I’m sorry,” Abigail said, and she was running away from you faster than you had ever seen anyone run before.

You frowned as you watched her run. “I hope she’s alright, poor thing. I can’t imagine how a first mission feels,” you murmured, turning around and seeing the slightly spooked eyes of the rest of the team. You smiled at them cautiously and walked over to Natasha, arms already raised as you went to embrace her tightly. You breathed in and put your face in her neck, nearly crying tears of joy as you smelled her shampoo, a rich scent that meant the safety and comfort of them both. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

You were so happy to hold your fiancée again that you almost didn’t notice how standoffish she was being, and her lack of enthusiasm. She had never been not enthusiastic to see you, especially after going so long without seeing each other. After too long of her not reacting to your warm embrace by kissing your hair or murmuring her usual missed you, princessa, you pulled away and looked at her, a questioning look on your face. “Are you okay, my love?”

Natasha stepped back, not looking you in the eyes and choosing to just smooth out the sleeves of her combat attire, eyes on the floor. That was very unlike her. Something must have gone terribly wrong. “I just want to get home.”

Your vibe visibly deteriorated. It was obvious that Natasha had just popped your bubble and left it as an empty shell, but you were still smiling anyway. Like you always did. “Okay, Nat. We can do that.” You reached out for Natasha’s hand and grabbed it after waving goodbye to the other team members, who all looked either extremely displeased or like they had been caught doing something very awkward.

You walked back to your part of the tower together in silence that wasn’t characteristic of the two of you. You were a known chatterbox, happy and always starting meaningful conversations, but also one of the best listeners to ever grace the earth. Natasha liked to listen, too, and she had the best words and the best voice to listen to. One of them was always talking. The silence between them was almost haunting.

Natasha went straight into the shower. She didn’t offer for you to go in with her, which was what the two of you always did after a mission. You got to see Natasha at her most vulnerable, and Natasha was finally allowed to let down the shroud of strength that only lasted for so long without being damaging. It was the thing that kept you close and often the action that got Natasha to open up about what happened and how she truly felt. Natasha skipping out on that time hurt you and made you expect the worst. 

She turned the lights off the minute that she was out of the shower, not speaking to you or even offering any physical assurance, which was something that Natasha knew that you needed after she came home.

You just prayed that she would be ready to talk in the morning.

§§§

Natasha wasn’t there when you woke up. You frowned and patted the empty spot in the bed beside you even though you knew that she was probably at the gym or running around doing errands. You sighed and crawled out of bed, doing the daily routine that you usually did with Natasha, and leaving the room to go make some breakfast.

There were whispers that hissed like snakes when you came around the corner, and they came to a screeching halt when you bounced into the room. You grinned at everyone sitting or standing in the kitchen, ignoring their deer-in-headlights looks and searching for the woman you were set to get married to. You frowned a bit when there was no sign of her.

“Good morning!” You hummed out anyways, going towards the pantry once you saw that no one had made food yet. Because you were staying there and you had no other skills, you had been the one to take up personal chef for the entire team just to pull some weight, even though they insisted that you didn’t need to do a thing. As long as you “kept Nat happy”, they said. 

It took a second for any of them to respond. “Good morning,” Steve said, his voice oddly clinical for the way he usual greeted you. He was the morning person of the bunch, and probably your closest friend other than Wanda. 

You took the supplies out of the pantry with a thoughtful look on your face. “I’m not trying to pry,” you started softly, back still towards them as you started with the pancake mix. “But, was the mission bad?” No one spoke for a few heavy moments. 

“We succeeded,” Bucky finally stated vaguely, his voice floating through the room.

You never the type to spill all of your personal business to people, but these people weren’t just anyone. These were your closest friends, the people who were going to be in the wedding, either in one bridal party or the other’s. “Nat’s not talking to me,” you sighed out, and turned around to see all of them stiff as boards. “Was it hard for her?”

No one said anything.

You pursed your lips and turned your back to them again, looking away from them to gathered your thoughts for a second. You took in a deep breath and told yourself not to pry, not to think about what Natasha would surely tell you when she was ready. You turned your head and gave them your trademark grin. “Who wants blueberries in their pancakes?”

§§§

You sat in your shared room after a full day of Natasha blatantly ignoring and avoiding you. You were patient, because that was what you had to be to date an Avenger, but Natasha had never straight up ignored you before. You learned very quickly that it called for a different type of patience than the one you were used to.

   In the kitchen when she was forced to be present after you cooked a huge welcome home meal, she didn’t hug on you or kiss your cheek or even look you in the eyes. It wasn’t like her. You came to the tough conclusion that it wasn’t because of the mission, because she had never done that before, not even after the one where the children were caught in the crossfire. You were always the one that she talked to, no matter what.

The lamp light was the only light on in the room, because you knew that Natasha liked it better that way. Maybe less light would make her open up a bit, and the two of you would finally see eye to eye after the annoying stalemate that felt eternal.

You didn’t know how long Natasha would take come back and speak, but you knew that it wouldn’t be too long. Natasha liked to talk, and she had said multiple times that she liked to talk to you the most. It would be any time, right? That’s what you thought until the hours crept by, and you saw and heard no sign of anything. Not even the ding of an elevator or the shutting of a door, or her soft footsteps that she made on purpose because her natural steps were so quiet that she scared you when she appeared. 

When Natasha finally came in, it was late in the night, morning time. Three in the morning, to be exact. You shook off your nerves and smiled at her, and the smile wasn’t returned as much as it should have been. “Hi,” you said, almost a little star struck by finally seeing her. It brought you back to the time you didn’t truly know her. 

You had always admired Natasha. Not even because of her being Black Widow, but because she was Natasha Romanoff, an enemy spy and assassin turned good. And it brought you pure joy knowing that you would soon be taking on her last name, which you secretly thought of as your greatest achievement. Natasha was the one you wanted with for life, and you were steps closer. 

You waited to hear Natasha’s voice. You waited in anticipation for her to run to you and start to spill immediately. You were waiting to wipe her tears and assure her that it wasn’t her fault, and that she couldn’t have done anything differently. “Hi.”

You frowned. Confusion flooded your senses at the short greeting. “Huh?”

“Why are you up?” Her tone sounded almost accusatory, like she had caught you doing something that you weren’t supposed to do, like you were intruding on her time. The frown on your face turned into a slight scowl, and then you reminded yourself that patience was key with Natasha.

“I’m allowed to wait up for my future wife,” you teased, but the look in your eye was serious. You could see how the red head lingered at the doorway, like she was trying to decide whether to bolt or leave with grace. You weren’t going to give her enough time to make the decision. Come sit, please.” When Natasha didn’t move an inch, your facial expression fell. “Please.”

Natasha walked over to the bed slowly, like she was being forced to move or die. You shook your head side to side, eyeing her up and down like the answer to the problem that you didn’t know yet was written on her body somewhere. “I’m here,” she said quietly, like a distant whisper.

“Are you really?” You asked quietly, and it felt like your voice echoed like the beating of drums in the nearly silent room. “Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing happened.”

You knew that you shouldn’t pry. You both hated prying, but you were also both naturally transparent. You two had never truly had to pry with each other before. The truth was, you didn’t know how far you could push until she snapped on you. “Are you sure?”

Like someone had flipped a switch, a small smile lit up on Natasha’s face. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to sate you for a while. “Yes, princessa. I’m very sure. I’m tired.”

That was all it took. All it took was Natasha muttering the sweet nickname to you, and it was all as good as talked about. You could rest for a moment.

“Then we can go to bed, my love.” You reached out to touch Natasha’s face, loving the familiar feeling of her soft skin. “You know, you don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me anything, Nattie.”

You stared at Natasha for a while, just admiring her face and everything about it, almost missing the way that she didn’t do it back. This was something that you two did nearly every night before going to sleep- you just watched each other. A slow, dopey grin slid onto your face, and then you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose, then her cheek, and then to her pink lips in a soft yet passionate kiss, as soft as rose petals.

You pulled away and smiled at her with your eyes closed, nuzzling your face into her neck. You took in a deep breath, inhaling her sweet smell and feeling the comfort was over you like waves in the ocean. You could have told her a thousand things in that instant, but they all revolves around one master idea. “I love you so much, Natasha.”

You brushed a red strand of hair out of her face before reaching up to kiss her forehead, and then you were back in her neck, trying to sleep.

There was no response, just Natasha’s arm’s getting tighter around you and squeezing three times, each harder and shakier than the last. That was all it took for you to fall asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you recalled having a dream that featured a woman crying, the sound distant yet close.

§§§

You had a feeling that Natasha was going to do the exact same thing that she did the first time, and you assumed correctly. You took it in stride this time and went to the flower store to pick out your bouquet that you would walk with, and probably throw. It was something that you wanted to do on your own, anyway. Like most brides, you didn’t want your future spouse seeing anything that you were going to be wearing until the big day. Not even the veil or the flowers that you would be carrying.

“That’s gorgeous!” You grinned at the employee, who mirrored your excited look. “That’s perfect, she’ll love it.”

While you gushed about your flowers, you also wondered if Natasha was doing a bouquet, too. You hoped that she had someone that would help her out with it, maybe Sharon or Wanda. Natasha wasn’t really big on the planning of the wedding. In fact, she wanted it much smaller than it was going to be, but you had convinced her to do it your way. Maybe it was your natural charm that helped you swindle the spy, or perhaps it was because she just secretely wanted the same thing.

As you walked away from the flower shop after placing the order, you walked by the busy donut shop that Natasha loved going to. Usually, it would be Natasha that stopped by and brought you some donuts, but maybe the other way around would be enough to make the red headed woman smile a bit. You stopped for a second and then didn’t hesitate to go in, pulling out a couple dollars for a tip, too.

Natasha loved chocolate donuts, even though she tried to resist eating them. You liked glazed better, but it was alright. You’d buy chocolate for her. You had hope that they would get Natasha to open up just a little, as dumb as it sounded. But a bribe never went wrong, and what was the harm in donuts?

“Thank you, Sarah,” you said after you got the box of donuts, walking out of the sweet smelling shop and down the street towards the tower.

When you got back, it was loud. It usually was pretty loud, with everyone and everything going on, but this was a different type of loud. It wasn’t the tinkering of metal in the lab or the sounds of sparring or elevators going up and down. It was shouting. A full on shouting match that was loud enough to be heard from floors down was happening. You nearly dropped the box of donuts as you hurriedly pressed the level that you and Natasha stayed on, hoping to find her in the room and out of the fight. The ride up the elevator was almost too full of anticipation as you waited in what would have been silence, if not for the yelling.

“No, because you can’t control yourself!” The voice was now obviously Steve’s. You were shocked. You had never heard Steve so riled up, ever. It was out of character for him to be so angry at someone, even if that particular someone fucked up royally. “You did something stupid, and now you’ll own up to it. Simple.”

“I fucking can’t!” You frowned. That was without a doubt Natasha. “I can’t, not right now. So fuck off.”

“I can’t fuck off after you’ve done something like this, Romanoff.” You winced as the elevator doors opened. Steve didn’t use Natasha’s last name anymore, not since they got close. And he certainly didn’t use the f-bomb much. “This is… it’s beyond-”

“What happened?” You shoved the donuts into Sam’s waiting hands, which were open for business when he saw you coming out of the elevator. “What’s all the yelling for?”

Everyone was staring at you like you were a ghost that wasn’t supposed to show up even though they had called on you. No one had an immediate answer, and so you put your hands on your hips. “Is everything okay?”

Tony looked at Natasha with sharp eyes and took a step back, raising his palms. “On you.”

It took a second for Natasha to say anything to you, and it was clear that everyone was waiting for something. It was even more clear that everyone was equally pissed at Natasha, for whatever reason.

“Everything is just fine, princessa.” Natasha’s voice carried over to your ears, smooth as honey, even though she wasn’t looking up into your eyes. “Don’t worry.”

You didn’t really believe it. How could you? She wasn’t talking to you, she wasn’t lying with you, she wasn’t counting your heartbeats like you did with her. There was something wrong, something had to be for Steve to be yelling like that, in front of everyone else. You eyed Natasha for a few extra seconds and then took the donuts back, muttering a thanks to Sam.

“Alright.” As if seeing the box made you remember why you went out in the first place, your trademark grin was back. “I ordered my bouquet today,” you hummed, walking up to Natasha and planting a kiss on her lips. When you pulled away, you murmured the customary I love you under your breath, like you two did every time you kissed. The one who initiated the kiss would say it first, and it would be answered by a quick “always”.

“A-always. Oh?” You realized that Natasha’s voice fluttered when she said it.

“Yeah, you can’t see which one, though.” You winked at her playfully, trying to ignore the way that the others looked mildly uncomfortable. You were used to uncomfortable looks, but never from them. You knew that it wasn’t homophobia, because they were never that way. So their behavior ran deeper than that. What the fuck happened? “My dress appointment is tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

You were too busy getting a donut from the box to see the looks that everyone else shared when you spoke again. “How’s the girl who went on the mission with you? She seemed a little upset when you guys came back.”

Natasha’s hair nearly bounced with how high she shot up, her body going straight at the mention of the other girl. She looked away from your eyes for a split second, and then back. “Fine.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, eyes on Natasha. “Is she good with fashion? Maybe seeing dresses and all that would make her feel a little better.”

Natasha looked horrified as she realized what you were insinuating. “No. No, she’s fine. She doesn’t need to be invited anywhere.”

“It’s just to sit and watch me try on dresses. Wanda, Sharon, and Pepper are going, right?” You looked towards Tony to confirm, and he nodded his head firmly before looking at Natasha again, a serious look in his eyes. “Maybe Abigail can go.”

“No. She’s not going.” There was something in Natasha’s tone that sounded so final, so adamant, that you knew in your heart to just drop it. It saved you both in that moment.

That didn’t mean that you weren’t allowed to make a face of disapproval. “That’s not nice at all, Nattie. I hope you weren’t the reason she was crying. You’re known to be a little mean.”

Natasha looked away from you, taking a step back. Her eyebrow was twitching, a sign of stress that you picked up on like it was your own. “I have to go.”

“Wait, I got these for-” Natasha left in a hurry, so fast that you barely even registered that she had left. She left awkwardness in her absence. “Well, she can eat them later. Feel free to have some, guys, just save one or two for her, okay?”

They were all quiet for a few seconds, like they were in the midst of a special moment where they were all feeling the same thing, everyone in the room except for you. Finally, Wanda spoke. “Okay, Y/N.” You smiled at them, gave them all sweet hugs, and left.

§§§

You were bursting at the seams at being seen for a dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s. Wanda was with you, and so were Sharon and Pepper. They were excited for you, but no one matched your energy.

You were a girl finally getting what she had been dreaming of her whole life; to get married in a beautiful dress to the person she loved. You would soon be walking down the isle to see Natasha waiting for you, flanked by everyone else that was ever important to them.

You must have been the luckiest woman in the world.

“You’re really excited,” Sharon mused, but it was more of an observation than a statement.

“I’m so excited,” you confirmed. “I’m marrying the love of my life in what’s going to be my dream dress, I know it.” You grinned as the four of you watched people bustling around the shop. There was a bride near tears, just like on the TV episodes, and you watched fondly. Seeing people get what they wanted made you happy.

The search for the perfect dress went nothing less than perfectly. Within the first two sweeps, you managed to get into a dress that everyone thought was perfect for you, and you loved it, too. It even brought the three out of the haze that they were in, out of focus and minds so far gone that your excited squeals were all that broke them out of their thoughts.

“It’s gorgeous, Y/N.” Pepper said, her voice soft and cautious as they walked up to pay. It was silent as you waited for an attendant to come to the counter and check you out.

“I- I think there’s something you should know.” The other girls’ head whipped Pepper’s way, and she gave them a look that told them that she wasn’t going to back down from whatever she had to say.

You had what felt like a permanent grin on your face as you thought about the dress. It was a dramatic ball gown, blush pink and flowy. You were almost as in love with it as you were with Natasha, and the matching heels that you got and the gorgeous veil that matched topped it all off. You and your soon to be bridal party walked out into the crisp air, and you turned your head towards Pepper. “Sure, what is it?”

There were a few beats of silence. “Let’s go sit in the car,” Pepper insisted, and so they walked back to the car that Happy was driving for them, where he was sitting with the partition rolled down. He gave them a half assed greeting before they all piled in. “Can I start off with saying that… I’m sorry if you feel like any of us betrayed you.”

You trusted them all with your life, but that didn’t stop your heart from starting to race at the words Pepper said. Whatever this announcement was, it wasn’t good at all. “What?” When no one said anything, you laughed a little. “What, is the dress actually ugly and you didn’t say anything while we were in there? Do I need to go back?”

“No, the dress is beautiful.” The other girls nodded, and then you were sure of yourself and your taste again. “It’s just… Abigail.”

You frowned a bit, immediately thinking of the tragic scene where the girl rushed out of the quintet, breaking down by the second. “Oh, poor thing. Is she not doing as well as they say she is? I know a first big mission can be tough.”

There was a thick silence before Sharon blurted it out. “I am so, so sorry.” You leaned forward, heart skipping a few beats while Sharon took in a deep breath. You knew that some kind of blow was coming just by her apology, and you were bracing for it. “Natasha and Abigail had an affair on the mission.”

In the movies, it was like an instant shattering of the heart when news was broken like that. Immediate tears, automatic screaming and cursing and wanting to call up the other person to threaten them. There was lashing out, the breaking of glass, all the cinematic things that made actors on screen look better and less awkward when they broke down. You always thought that they were overreacting.

Now you knew that they weren’t. You felt that way on the inside. Your mind was raging like a hurricane and a tornado all at once, one disaster coming from the east and the other from the west. Your anger was the tornado, whipping around and threatening to destroy everything in your path and lash out at every single damn person in that car. But just like a tornado, you wore out and disbanded, all in your head. All that was left was the hurricane. The sadness. The disappointment. The heartbreak.

You had never even entertained the thought of how you would be after getting betrayed by her, but if you had, you probably would have imagined that the tornado would have acted first. But it didn’t. Unlike in the movies, all you did was tilt your head to the side and ask for the words to be repeated, even though you didn’t even listen for a second. You couldn’t believe it. Not Natasha. Not your Natasha. Not your angel.

“Natasha and Abigail slept with each other on multiple occasions on the mission, by word of Steve,” Sharon pointed out, her voice similar to the way a doctor sounded while delivering bad news, only a little shakier. “Abigail ran out crying because she fell in love with Natasha and knew that it would never really happen, not because she ruined the mission.”

Not only had Natasha slept with another person, but she had somehow convinced the girl that they were going to be together. Natasha didn’t have a ring, and the girl was new. There was no way she would have known that you two were together unless someone explicitly told her, and there were better things to do on a mission. It wasn’t her fault. Even if she had known, it wasn’t Abigail’s fault. Natasha Romanoff knew better. She knew a thousand times better.

“I don’t think either of them meant for it to happen,” Pepper said, immediately trying to calm you down, even though you hadn’t even spoken an angry word yet, and you looked like you weren’t even close to shouting.

The distinct sound of the partition rolling up was what brought you back to the present.

“But it did happen,” you said slowly, not even realizing that your teeth were gritted. “It happened.”

You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t want to, you wanted to believe it was a lie and calmly confront Natasha, but Steve was the one who had said it, and Steve didn’t lie. Why hadn’t he told you before?

Now that you knew what went on during the mission, you could see that everyone was acting weird. Everyone knew, there was no question about it. Which meant that everyone knew, and no one told you. They didn’t even hint toward anything, and they knew that you were supposed to be marrying the woman who went behind your back and did the unforgivable multiple times.

“We- we’re supposed to be getting married.” The pitiful sentence was all that you could string together in a thought as you looked out of the window at the traffic. You wished that the cars would just go, fly around so that you could cry by yourself. “I don’t even know what to say.” There were a million things happening in your mind at once, and trying not to cry in front of everyone was the biggest effort.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon’s voice said, and she really did sound apologetic. But it wasn’t enough in the moment. You wanted to hear Natasha say it, if all was true. But you knew it was. “We’re all sorry. We were waiting for Romanoff to own up to what she did.” Sharon said, obviously trying not to feel the wrath of you that was surely bubbling beneath the surface.

You could have been angry towards them. You knew that you felt betrayed, by everyone that knew and chose not to speak, that was a no-brainer. You could have been a lot of things at the moment, but there were bigger fish to fry. You clenched your fists and looked at the window, blinking rapidly as you grappled for composure. “Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t think you-”

“I get it. It’s alright. I just prefer not to speak right now, ‘s all.” And conversation ended. But that was when the turmoil in your head and heart started to crank up the energy.

Your first instinct was to bust in there and look for the Black Widow herself, to yell until you lost your voice. Your first instinct was to cause a scene and embarrass her as much as Natasha did to you. You couldn’t believe she had gotten everyone to lie for her. You couldn’t believe that she had an obvious affair with a new agent. You couldn’t believe that you walked around thinking that nothing was wrong while everyone else pitied you behind your back.

Unfortunately, you were quite used to not being enough. Not enough to make it into ivy leagues, not enough to make the track team, not having enough to afford to buy all of your clothes without cringing and thinking about putting some items back. But you were never going to be used to not being enough for Natasha Romanov.

The drive back was the most awkward drive that the four of them had ever been on, without question. You had tears streaming down your face but you were still as silent as the night, just like everyone else. You hardly ever cried. You were always the ray of sunshine and rationality in the tower, and now everything positive had been blown out by the darkness that Natasha created.

When everyone got out of the car, it was sluggishly. Everyone knew what was bound to happen, but it was questionable whether or not the end of the blow out was going to result in settlement or people storming and and leaving. You already knew how it would end.

The second that the elevator landed on you and Natasha’s floor, you shakily thanked the girls for their honesty and walked right out, knowing that it was probably the last time that you would ever be going up in Stark Tower. In your angry fantasy about confronting your fiancée, you imagined storming in and shouting her name, getting her attention and then breaking her down into pieces like the words did to you in the car.

But once you were in your room, you found that the fantasies were just that, and you couldn’t say a word or do a thing but find your suitcase and pack, all the fire leaving your body the second that you saw your room.

You were halfway through gathering everything that was yours in the room that you and Natasha shared, tears streaming down steadily, when you registered that it was real. Natasha had really done the unimaginable, and there was no turning back. A small sob escaped your throat when you saw the sweater you had gotten Natasha hanging up in the closet, the same one that she wore when she got down on one knee for you. Did that mean nothing, too? Was the meaning and emotion of that and everything that led up to it blown to smithereens by something as trivial as two months?

The door flung open. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t talk to me.” You blurted, turning your head to not look at Natasha, trying to avoid her blue gaze. If you looked, you had no doubts that you would turn to stone, and that you would never find the strength to leave the woman who you loved the most and hurt you the most, all within three minutes.

Natasha looked bewildered by the suitcase on the bed. “Are you- are you leaving?”

“What the hell else am I supposed to do?” The temper that was kept just below simmering in the car was finally starting to boil over. “I can’t believe you, Natasha!”

“I-” She sputtered, and you gave her a pointed look in response. “Who told you?”

The question brought fire into your veins. She knew that you knew, because she knew that it was the one secret that had the power to make you so emotional. You two kept no secrets, and for this to be the first? That was painful.

You knew that Natasha would sense your lie about who told you and who didn’t, but you told it anyway. There was no use in causing a riff between the team because they wanted to help you. “I figured it out myself. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Natasha held her hands out in front of her body, and the gesture was so similar to the way that she used to hold her hands out in a silent ask for you to hold them. You hated the way that your heart lurched, and the way that you craved the feeling of her hands even more. “It was an accident.”

An accident? A two month escapade with another woman was an accident?

“After that long ass ride home on the quinjet, you could have at least come up with a better lie.”

“Princessa-”

“I- fuck you.” Your voice cracked in the middle of the explicative, tears falling into the suitcase pitifully. It made your raging temper even worse. “Fuck you.”

“My love-”

“I don’t understand why!” You couldn’t contain the waves of emotion you felt anymore as you slammed the top of the unfinished suitcase closed. “I give you everything I have every single day. Every day. I love you with all of my heart and I do everything I can to make you happy and you give me this? I tried so hard to make sure that we were both happy together, and we were. So, why?”

The look on Natasha’s face wasn’t unfamiliar to you. You knew it well, but it had never been used on you before. It was the look of a spy who didn’t want to say a damn word, silent resistance that you knew would be unbroken. That’s when you knew that you may never know the real reason. And it broke you. “There isn’t a reason.”

You crumbled faster than you ever had before “Natasha, we were- how could you do this to me?” You collapsed into sobs, falling onto the bed and putting your face into your hands. You didn’t know how long you cried for until you felt a hand on your shoulder, very hesitant to even attempt at being comforting. You didn’t have the energy to tell her to fuck off.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha cooed, and for a second, it felt like something was right again. Natasha being gentle was a regular occurrence, a side to the famous ex assassin that only you saw. It was your biggest safety blanket in life. But when she opened her mouth again, you were brought back to why you two were even doing this in the first place. “I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

You shook your head out of anger. The fact that the lie was shitty made it worse, made it hurt more. She didn’t even want to come up with a lie that would make you stay?

“Somehow you convinced that poor girl that you were going to be with her. How did you manage to do that on accident? How did you sleep with her multiple times on accident? You lead her on emotionally.”

“No.”

“Yes.” You pushed her hand off of your shoulder. “You told her some pretty little words and she fell for them as most do, right? Like I did, I guess. Just tell me the truth.”

“I didn’t-”

You remembered the way the girl was so distraught. You remembered the amount of tears that she had. You remembered the way that she avoided looking in your eyes, the way that she looked completely heart broken. Just like how you looked. You scoffed. “She told you she loved you, didn’t she?”

Natasha’s light blue eyes were boring into yours as she was silent. For the first time in a while, there was no telling of what Natasha was thinking in your mind. You were disconnected. “Yes.”

The words hurt to get out, but you had to know the answer to them. At any cost. Even at the cost of your own heart and sanity. “And you told her the same.”

There was a thick silence that spanned across multiple frantic heartbeats. “Yes.”

The next words were automatic. “I’m done.” You opened the suitcase again. The tears were coming harder than ever, warping your voice so much that your not Natasha hardly recognized it. “Done.”

“You can’t just-”

“Yes, I can!” You whipped around, eyes nailing Natasha right in her place. “Unless you can give me a good reason for what the hell you did, I’m done.”

Excruciating silence. It struck like lightning on the last tree in a struck down forest.

You turned on your heel, but then, words bubbled up in your throat, and you couldn’t shove them down. “When you miss me after you’re done, don’t come back to me.” Your voice cracked in the middle, but you kept pushing. “When you stop and think about what we could have been, do not come and find me. Because you’ll figure it out one day, and it’ll get through that thick skull.”

Natasha’s eyes were slightly watery as she looked on, taking a few steps forward with on outstretched arm, looking to latch on to you. “Love, please.”

You scoffed and ran out of the door, with nothing but a suitcase and a bag in your hands. You cried all the way to the elevator, ignoring the fact that Wanda and Vision’s room was right there across the hall, and how they without a doubt heard everything. Hell, everyone had heard everything. The argument weren’t exactly quiet.

You cried even harder when the doors of the elevator closed. Your hands shook as you brought them up to your face, remembering far too late that Tony Stark sometimes watched the tapes, especially elevator ones. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care. You turned into yourself and sobbed as your body and head shook, trying to rid herself of everything that happened. You cried more when you realized that you hadn’t meant a word of what you said to Natasha.

Deep down, through all of the emotions, you wanted her to seek you out when she learned her lesson. You didn’t know why, and you knew that you didn’t want it any time soon, but you knew that you wanted it.

It was supposed to be a magical day. The day you got the dress was the day it all became real, the day that solidified the fact that you would be getting married to the woman that you loved. You were heart broken. The familiar sound of the elevator stopping and the doors opening barely snapped you out of your well deserved pity party.

You only took one look at the new arrival, and that was when it was decided that the universe, was indeed, very unkind.

Abigail stood there like a deer in head lights, swallowing and looking with wide eyes, certainly unsure about whether or not she should just leave or apologize and hop in and pretend like she didn’t know what was going on. She looked like she expected confrontation.

Your wobbly smile shocked her. “You don’t have to be scared. Come in.” Your voice was just as shaky as the smile you offered, stepping to the side a bit and giving the other woman enough room.

You felt bad. Abigail was young, even younger than you. There was no way that she knew. No one really resisted the charms of Natasha Romanoff, anyway, and you knew it. Especially not a wide eyed newbie who was desperate to please on her first mission with the big guys, some of the original Avengers. There was no doubt that she felt terrible based on the way that she didn’t look you in the eye, and how she avoided everyone. There was only one person in the wrong, and it wasn’t this poor girl.

The doors dinged as they reached the bottom, and right before they opened, you smiled at her. “It’s okay,” your voice was a strong whisper. “It’s not your fault.” You gave her one look as you wheeled your suitcase out of the elevator, taking long strides to reach the huge front door of the tower, praying for no more interruptions.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t want to stop at all. You knew who’s commanding voice it was, and stopping to talk didn’t seem like an option. You preferred not to talk to anyone on the team, especially not one of the people who went on the mission. You wiped your cheeks and turned around anyway. “Yes?”

Steve stood before you, a sincere expression on his face as he looked you up and down, your obvious and inevitable departure making him wince. “I’m sorry.”

There was nothing that you could really say to him. He wasn’t the point of your anger and he was a friend, even if he had kept something from you. “You’re not the one who did it.”

“I could have told you.”

“No, she should have, a long time before someone else did. You didn’t do anything wrong.” The story of infidelity that happened was Natasha’s story to tell. While you still felt a little more than bitter about being an idiot in the dark about the whole thing, you would have preferred to hear it from her, one hundred percent. “I’m just pissed I found out after buying the perfect dress and veil and all of it. I was so ready.” You felt like a fool.

“I don’t know why she-”

“I don’t know why, either.” You admitted, shaking your head slowly. “But one day, maybe I’ll figure it out.”

“You’re leaving.” Steve saw it as a closed chapter now that you were storming out. Anyone would, but you knew better. You knew how Natasha worked, you knew how you worked, but most importantly, you knew how you two worked together. “You and Natasha- you and Nat are special. I’ve never seen anything like what you two have in my life, no one has. That’s why we’re all so mad. She ruined the one relationship that everyone obviously knows is true love, for no reason.”

“I know.”

He looked guilty for even saying the words. “You’re not going to try and work it out?”

“Don’t you think that I know what we have is special?” You asked him, new tears welling up in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m leaving this to her because I trust her with it. I don’t forgive her, and maybe I never will, but this is for her to decide.”

“What makes you think that she’ll decide right? Or what she’ll even decide at all?”

“She’ll come back.” You stated with certainty, and these were the first words that hadn’t had a crack or wobble in them since you started talking to the red head. “She’ll miss me and she’ll be over the thrill of whatever happened on the mission, and she’ll find me, wherever I decide to go. She’ll come back to me, just like I would come back to her. It could take weeks or years, but she will. That’s how we work.”

Steve was momentarily stunned, but after a few short moments, you knew that you had convinced him. “And you’re willing to wait for her? However long it takes?”

You lifted your lips at him, even more tears building up in your eyes as your answer flew up to your lips without even thinking. “She’ll come and find out.”

You walked away with heavy steps, already feeling her lingering on your skin, and the haunting memories of the two of you as happy as could be swirling around in your head.

§

You were well aware that removing Natasha from your life would hurt. But you never could have anticipated how much it would hurt.

Natasha was the safety net you never knew you needed. She was the one person on earth who made you feel truly wanted, needed even. She knew everything that you required to feel loved and you knew her just the same, and you both did those things. And that’s what made you two different.

You had been cheated on before. That was how Natasha had met you, actually. Your last boyfriend had cheated on you like the dirty dog he was with nearly every woman he was cute enough to be with for a night, and Natasha met you while you were getting hammered at a bar because you found out. Natasha met you at your lowest point and raised you up with all her might, and still had energy to love you. You felt useless and discarded, thrown under the bed and tossed to the side of the road, but she found you and made you something new. She made you her favorite.

§

Natasha was everywhere.

She was in the way that you made your coffee, because you hated it before you met her, and she introduced you to a kind that you liked. You got as addicted to it as you were to her.

She was in the way that you walked around the park at night instead of in the morning like you did before you met her, because she liked looking at the stars together.

She was in the way that you searched for her next to you in your sleep and when you first woke up. She was in the ring you still had. She was in the way you wrote your letter ‘n’ now, because you wrote her notes for years and always made the ‘n’ fancy just for her. It stuck. She was somehow related to every show and every movie and every brand of ice cream, and from the second week of suffering without her, you knew that she would linger on you like a faded tattoo.

During the third week, you swore that you could smell her perfume, though it made no sense. You had done laundry many times, and all of a sudden the smell popped up, like she was dropping in to spray the perfume and then leaving as soon as she came. The rich smell was something that you would never forget, and it hung around like thick smoke in your mind. You wanted it to leave.

You cursed her name all throughout the fourth week of being alone in your small apartment in Brooklyn. Everything was her fault. The washer broke, Natasha somehow did it. If you woke up with makeup still on your face from the past night, Natasha was at fault.

You went shopping during the sixth week, and you swore you saw flashes of her red hair in the grocery line, pitifully walking faster with your cart to both flee and go towards it. A part of you knew that she would never shop this far out, but you couldn’t help it. You missed her. You missed her a lot.

But that didn’t change that it stung so, so badly.

§

It was disgustingly close to what the wedding date would have been when you were lying in bed with a stray cat that you had managed to nurse back to health and call your own about two weeks prior. In a way, it was freeing. Natasha hated animals. They were a responsibility in her mind, nothing more. You loved the cat quickly, and named him Henry.

There were three sharp knocks on the door that you would have taken for strokes of thunder if they weren’t so close. You frowned and stood up, walking to the window to peak outside and see that there was a thunderstorm rolling through, the wind higher than usual and the rain coming down sideways.

You walked to the door with the small cat trailing behind you like a loyal companion. You cracked a smile when he meowed, and you looked through the peep hole, the bright porch light shocking your eye for a second, and then you saw.

Natasha Romanoff was standing there, soaking wet with her arms hanging at her sides, trembling from the cold.

You took two steps back that startled Henry, causing him to meow louder this time. You breathed in, trying to be quiet, but you knew that she knew you were there. She was so trained that you knew she heard you approaching, and when you took your steps away from the door. You both knew each other were there.

You had indirectly told her to seek you out when she was ready, and here she was.

Were you ready?

Like you were a child trying to eavesdrop, you held your breath as you leaned into the door, putting your ear on it as you struggled to hear something, anything, from her. She wasn’t talking. You looked up into the peephole again, and she was looking at her feet, waiting for something to happen. She knew that you were deciding.

You had spent time looking for her in places you knew she would never be, running to and from things that looked like or reminded you of her, and now the real thing stood in your porch light in the rain. She came back to you.

She came back, but that didn’t erase everything that happened. Not at all. Her two months of fun and new experiences acted as the eraser, painting over everything that they had ever done in black paint. The joy of dancing with her under street lights and kissing in Tony’s limos and her hand under your sweatshirt didn’t amount to the pain it felt when she ripped herself from you.

But why did it hurt so much if they weren’t the same amount of emotion, if not more? If you looked at it with a rational mind, was the joy not worth more than the pain?

The pain weighed like bricks. There was one big brick that weighed half a ton on one scale, nearly tipping the other side.

But the joy? It weighed like clouds, because that’s what joy was. It was the feeling of being above the clouds. And you found that every moment of joy that you had Natasha, even though it was the weight of clouds, still outweighed the fat brick.

But were all of the cloud moments enough to possibly take another brick?

Your hand moved before you knew it, and you were undoing the chain and unlocking the door, yanking it open roughly and staring her down.

She was shocked. Her eyes were wide as she stared at you without any barriers, automatic tears welling up. Had she come all that way to not even know whether or not you would answer? Hell, you had done all of that while in limbo with yourself.

But now, without even knowing how Natasha truly felt, without even hearing one word from her mouth, you knew something changed.

“I knew you’d come back.”

[drabbles-mc]

Take A Little Ride

Angel Reyes x F!Reader

Request from @bishopslosawife​: What if one of the Mayans’ S/O was an NFR professional barrel rider from the south? Like S/O plans a trail ride for everyone to get them to relax and someone recognizes her and asks her to show off her moves? Maybe S/O has a horse boarding at the stable?

Warnings: language

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: (Sorry if this is the second time you’re seeing this fic! I’ve had some issues with posts disappearing from my blog and the tags and I’m trying to get everything back on track haha.) I know we talked about this fic forever ago, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since lol. We threw around a lot of ideas and I tried to fit as many into this fic as possible without it feeling cluttered. Also, I know this is technically an Angel fic, but we get to see a lot of our boys in this story. Hope you enjoy! xo

Angel Taglist: @mayans-sauce​ @encounterthepast​ @helli4nthus​ @lilacyennefer​ @angelreyesgirl​ @everyhowlmarksthedead​ @starrynite7114​ @rosieposie0624​ @queenbeered​ @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​ @sincerelyasomebody​ @mijop​ @sadeyesgf​ @xladymacbethx​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @blessedboo​ @appropriate-writers-name​ @holl2712​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @sillygoose6969​ @beardburnsupersoldiers​ @louisianalady​ @gemini0410​ @paintballkid711​ @chibsytelford​ @yourwonkywriter​ @sesamepancakes​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @georgiaaintnopeach​  @plentyoffandoms @twistnet​ @themoonandthewicked​ @garbinge​ @bucky-iss-bae​ @enjoy-the-destruction​

“Oh come on,” you pleaded as you sat in Angel’s lap, “It would be so fun!”

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Yea, for you maybe. I’d have no fuckin’ clue what to do.”

“It’s really not that hard,” you reassured him.

EZ sat down across from the two of you, “What is Angel fighting you about now?” he smirked.

You laughed, “I was saying that we should go for a trail ride sometime soon—all of us. It’s such a good way to unwind.”

“What’s the issue then?” he was clearly confused.

“She means a horseback trail ride, Boy Scout,” Angel piped in with a shake of his head before returning his gaze to you, “Anyone besides you and Taza even know how to ride?”

You paused, trying to think back on your conversations with everyone. Truthfully, now that he said it out loud, you couldn’t say for certain if any of the guys knew how to ride. You didn’t want to cop to that, but you weren’t a good liar, “I have no idea,” you chuckled, “I mean for some reason I wanna say that at one point Riz said something to me about it but I’m not sure. You guys could learn, though! It’s not like we’d be competing or anything, just a nice mellow trip. Like a hike! Besides, it’d be good for you boys to learn something new.”

“Y/N,” Angel started, “I’m not gonna fu—”

EZ cut him off, “I’m game,” he was genuinely interested, but he also loved being a little bit of an instigator when it came to things like this between you and Angel.

Your eyes lit up, “Yea?”

“Bro,” Angel shook his head, “What the fuck?”

“Put it to a vote!” you said excitedly, “That’s what y’all do, right?”

EZ laughed, nodding, “Yea, that’s exactly what we do.��

“What, we gonna go to Templo for this?” it was getting more and more difficult for Angel to keep a straight face.

“We’ll do it right here,” you leaned forward and grabbed your empty beer bottle off the table, rapping it on the wooden surface a few times to get everyone’s attention, “Hey! Boys! I have an offer for ya.”

If Angel had the ability to melt into the couch cushions, he would’ve. The guys could see the look on his face and it only made them more interested in what you were going to say. EZ was sitting back with a smug grin, extremely invested in where this was all going to go.

“What’s the offer?” Taza asked with a soft smile.

“So,” you got up off Angel’s lap, “I know y’all have had a rough couple of weeks. And I think it’d be good for everyone to get out and unwind,” they were all nodding along in agreement so far, “I just so happen to know of a really great ranch about forty minutes North of here. What would you guys say to a day trip and a trail ride? Switch things up a little.”

Taza’s response was immediate, “Sounds good to me.”

You could see the apprehension on some of their faces, so you tried to reassure them, “If you don’t know how to ride, they give you a rundown of the basics. Plus, the horses that they have there are all push-button—absolute gems.”

“How do you know about this place?” Bishop couldn’t help but to ask.

“I’ve been boarding my horse there since I moved to Cali,” you paused, “So, what d’you say?”

Sure enough, everyone started to speak up in agreement. You had never felt so excited. You looked back at Angel, who was shaking his head trying not to crack a smile. He had a feeling it was going to go this way.

“Majority vote,” Bishop said with a laugh, “It passes.”

“Yay!” you clapped, “Alright, I’ll call and get it all set up for this week. It’s gonna be so much fun, trust me.”

As the week passed by, Angel and a few of the other guys asked you questions about just what exactly they had gotten themselves into. They all knew that you rode, but they never thought it would have any crossover with their lives.

You all met up at the clubhouse late Saturday morning. You had your jeans and boots on, along with a tank top. You’d packed a backpack with water bottles and a few snacks, as well as your riding helmet. There was a palpable sense of excitement in the air, along with nervousness.

“You guys might not wanna take the bikes,” you warned with a laugh, “Your legs might be a little sore afterwards.”

They all stood and thought about it for a moment before deciding to take your word for it. They split up and piled into the few trucks they had, allowing you to lead the way since none of them knew where you were going. It was one of the very few times that Angel ever rode shotgun and let you take the wheel. You’d seen EZ crack a smile as his brother begrudgingly handed you the keys.

You rolled into your parking spot at the ranch, instantly jumping out of the truck once it was in park. The rest of the guys weren’t far behind, their vehicles falling into line with yours. You waited for them all and then waved for them to follow you as you confidently strode across the grounds to the barns. A few of the other people there smiled and waved to you, recognizing you from your frequent trips there.

The man who ran the ranch came out of one of the barns, arms out wide as he approached you, “Y/N, so good to see you,” he gave you a hug, “I was excited when they told me about your call.”

“Who’s this fuckin’ guy?” Angel murmured to EZ under his breath, elbowing him when he saw his brother trying to bite back a laugh.

You hadn’t heard the exchange, but you turned around to introduce everyone regardless, “Boys, this is Matthew—owner of this fine establishment and also one of the first people to help me settle in when I moved here to California. Matthew, this is my crew,” you laughed, “Best group of troublemakers you’ll ever meet.”

He laughed, nodding in acknowledgment, “Gentlemen, it’s a pleasure. I’m here to help and get you guys up and running, but you’re in good hands with Y/N here. She knows the trails out here like the back of her hand.”

“Well,” you chuckled, “I wasn’t gonna say it, but he’s totally right,” you clapped, “Let’s get you boys all saddled up and ready to go!”

It was refreshing to see them a little out of their element, with the exception of Taza, and surprisingly enough Coco seemed rather comfortable in the barn. You didn’t comment on it, wanting to see just how much he knew. But so far he had gotten all his tack on without much of an issue, and he seemed really comfortable with the horse they had provided for him.

You went back and forth with the guys about wearing helmets. Angel was adamant that he would be fine without one, “You’re not even gonna wear one! Or Taza!”

You laughed, “And when you’ve clocked as many hours as we have, you won’t have to wear one either. But for now, you’re gonna have to. Deal with it.”

“Yea,” EZ chuckled as he clipped his on, “Gotta save all the braincells that you can.”

“Shut up,” Angel shoved him as they both broke down in laughter.

Your horse was waiting patiently in her stall, all tacked up and ready to go. You were thankful that she was so mellow and patient, because you didn’t have to worry about her while you got everyone else situated. Up until that point, you had never realized just how diverse the ranch was when it came to breeds of horses. Most of them were rescues in some capacity, bought at auction when they weren’t competition or breeding material anymore, but they still made great companions, especially for beginners.

The fact that Taza let the boys struggle on their own a bit wasn’t lost on you. He was already perched atop his horse, waiting for the rest of them to get their acts together. You were certain that it was the most entertained that he had been in a while—you could see it in his eyes. To make up for the lack of Taza’s guidance, you were running around helping however you could.

“C’mon,” Coco taunted as he hoisted himself up onto his horse with ease, “What’s takin’ you guys so long?”

“Since when do you know anything about horses?” Angel said with a hint of bitterness to his voice.

“Psh, you don’t know everything about me, ‘mano. Don’t worry about it.”

Once everyone was on and ready to go, you finally went back to bring your own horse out. She was waiting patiently as ever in her stall. You slid the door open and stepped inside, gently resting your forehead against hers. It was exciting to be able to share this part of your life with all of them, even if it was going to be a little extra chaotic the first time around. You hoped, though, that they would enjoy it enough to want to come back and do it again. You thought that it would be good for them, because it certainly was for you.

You led your horse out of the barn, not that you really needed to be holding onto her reins anyway—she’d follow you wherever you went almost without question. You had her stop so you could slip your foot into your stirrup and hoist yourself onto her. The guys looked on in slight awe, not able to believe that it was so easy for someone of your height to climb up that easily onto a horse that was so tall.

Once you were situated in your stirrups and adjusted your backpack, you turned and looked around at your crew with a wide smile on your face, “Everyone feel like they sorta know what they’re doing? Matthew give you an overview of the basics?” there were various mumbled of agreement as they nodded their heads and you had to laugh, “You’ll be fine. Just remember, gentle on the reins—it’s attached to their mouths. Squeeze with your legs and nudge with your heels if you wanna go faster. These horses are super well trained so you shouldn’t need to kick, or be loud with them at all. Just use a clear voice,” you paused, “We should probably do a couple laps around the arena first before I take you guys off-roading,” you laughed, “Follow me.”

Admittedly, you were pretty impressed at how well the guys were picking it up. A lot of it had to do with the horses that they were riding, but still. It was the first time you could ever remember Bishop seeming out of his element and you had to admit that you found it amusing. Angel and Gilly found themselves struggling together while EZ practically rode laps around them, of course.

“Show-off,” Angel said with a laugh and a shake of his head as he shifted slightly in his saddle.

“You’re just mad because I’m already good,” EZ chuckled as he made his way over to where you and Taza were watching the rest of them.

Once you started making your way towards the trail, you and Coco found yourselves side by side. You glanced over at him and had to smile at how comfortable he seemed. For a man who seemed to be a little jumpy at baseline, he seemed really calm.

“I have to admit,” you said as you glanced back to make sure you didn’t lose anyone yet, “you surprised me a little bit with all of this,” you gestured to him and the horse.

He laughed, “Yea, I’m full of fuckin’ surprises.”

“You ride for a long time?”

He shrugged, “Not in a while. Started when I finished my four years. One of the guys who came back with me told me to try out equine therapy. Seemed kinda pointless but I really wasn’t in a position to be sayin’ no to anything—I was pretty fucked up. And it helped. Stopped when I started getting in with the club.”

You nodded, unable to hide how invested you were in everything that he was telling you, “Got it. That why the guys didn’t know?”

“Yea. Plus, they don’t gotta know everything,” he chuckled.

The topic fell by the wayside as the group of you continued on your little adventure. It was peaceful, and it was nice to hear all of them laughing and joking around with each other. You felt like you were constantly turning around to make sure that you hadn’t lost track of anyone, but you really didn’t mind it. It was hard to not be a little amused at how out of sorts Angel still seemed. The downside of being as tall and lanky as he was, is that it’s impossible to miss when he is feeling uncomfortable or out of his comfort zone. It was written all over his body language.

You looped around so you could land yourself next to him. You smiled over at him as he focused intensely on his reins, “Still getting the hang of it?”

“You guys make it look so easy.”

You laughed, “We’ve got years of practice. You’ll pick it up.”

“Gilly wants to know why he’s the only one that didn’t get a horse,” Angel laughed.

You chuckled and shook your head, “Mules are great, he’s got nothing to complain about. They’re strong, and smart, and a little stubborn but that’s just like the rest of you guys so it should be fine.”

“I know I’m not good at this shit,” he shifted slightly in his saddle, “and I dunno if I ever will be. But it’s nice to see you enjoying yourself like this. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you like this.”

You smiled, feeling your face get warm, “Well, now you know,” you paused, laughing, “Plus I think this is one of the only times that I’ve been better than you at something.”

“Couldn’t let it be a sweet moment, could you?”

You chuckled, “Is this how you feel all the time with me?”

“I’m not better than you at everything, querida. Stop bein’ dramatic,” he smiled.

“Cooking and horseback riding are the two things I definitely have over you. And I’m holding onto those for dear life,” you laughed.

“I’ll let you have them. Just for you, I promise I won’t get any better at this.”

“For me?” you pressed a hand to your chest with a smile, “You’re too sweet.”

You nudged your horse onward so you could get back to the front of the pack. You’d ridden the trails hundreds of times but they never got any less beautiful. They were different than where you used to ride back home but the change was nice. The trail that you had taken them on was one of the easier ones—no crazy inclines or anything like that. It was a slow but steady ride up one of the smaller peaks that surrounded the ranch. The view from the top was beautiful—you could see for miles. You had a feeling that the guys were going to love it.

“We’re almost to the top,” you called back over your shoulder.

Within a few minutes, the whole group of you had made it to the clearing at the top of the peak. They were all letting out their own murmurs of approval and you felt so proud of yourself. A few of them hopped down, wanting to get a little closer to the cliff edge so they could look down over it. There was nothing but the sound of the breeze and the screaming of the birds while you all stayed there and took in the view. It was the most peace that they’d probably felt in a while.

“Pretty great, right?” you looked over at Angel, who had managed to guide his horse to they were right next to you.

He nodded, “Beautiful. Had no idea any of this was out here.”

“This is what I used to do with pretty much all of my free time when I first moved here, back before I really knew anyone.”

“You gave this shit up to hang out with us?” Angel chuckled as he gestured to the rest of the guys.

You laughed, shaking your head, “I didn’t give it up. I still come out here at least once every weekend, if not more during the week if work allows for it. I still make the time.”

“I love you,” he had a starry look in his eyes as he gazed over at you.

You smiled, “I love you too. Thanks for doing this—I know you weren’t really all that thrilled about it.”

“I’m glad I did. It’s nice to see something that means so much to you.”

After a few more minutes of lingering, chatting, and getting photos of everyone, it was time to complete the loop and head back towards the ranch. You were glad that the guys had pacified you and allowed you to do a little impromptu photoshoot of them with their horses—it was a moment that you wanted to remember. They were quite the diverse pack and you couldn’t help but to smile.

The ride back down was smooth. It was evident that for the most part, the guys were starting to feel more comfortable in their saddles. There weren’t as many, “oh fuck’s” said under their breath. There was a little more talking and joking going on and it made your heart feel fuller.

Cutting through the quietness of the trail was Angel’s voice, “Shit, fuck, oh fuck,” he wasn’t yelling but you could tell that he was worried.

You whipped your head around to see what was wrong, and you had to bite back your laughter as you watched the scene that was playing out. Angel’s horse had bumped up from a walk to a jog and clearly it wasn’t Angel’s doing. The panic that was on his face was priceless. Realistically, the horse wasn’t even going that fast, but it was enough to send Angel into panic mode.

“I’m just gonna fuckin’ jump off.”

You laughed, “Do not jump off. Just apply a little pressure to the reins and tell him to walk. He should slow right down. They don’t understand curse words.”

He did as you instructed, and sure enough the horse dropped right back down to a leisurely walk. You were trying not to laugh but the rest of the guys weren’t as kind and forgiving as you. You knew that that was going to be something that he wasn’t going to be living down anytime soon.

The rest of the descent was uneventful. The whole squad made it back down to the base of the trail unscathed. You hopped down off your horse and began to help all of them to do the same. You told them where to go and put all of their tack once they took it off, and also told them that if they could walk their horses for a couple minutes just to help cool them down it would be appreciated. It wasn’t the most intensive ride but it would still be good for them. Besides, it would be good for the guys and their legs too.

You were getting ready to bring your horse in when a girl came walking up to you, trying to politely get your attention. She couldn’t have been more than seventeen or eighteen. Her t-shirt and jeans were streaked with dirt but there was a giant smile on her face as she walked up to you and your horse.

“Hi, excuse me, are you Y/N?” her voice was quiet, shy.

You nodded, slightly confused, “I am. Everything alright?”

“Yea! I just, um, god sorry I don’t mean to be weird. I used to watch you race, though. I went to almost every NFR circuit event for a few years back when we still lived in Nevada. They said you moved but I had no idea it was here and I,” she stopped herself, “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

You shook your head, smiling, “Don’t be sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever had a fan before,” you laughed.

“Well that’s not true,” the girl laughed. She paused for a few moments, “Would it…would it be weird to ask if I could see you do a run?”

You raised your eyebrows, “A barrel run?”

She nodded excitedly, “Yea.”

You laughed, “I mean, I don’t see why not. I’m a little out of practice but I think we can still manage it,” you patted your horse on the shoulder.

“Oh my god this is so cool. The big arena inside is already set up—I just finished my lesson.”

The two of you walked together, your horse following behind without you having to hold too tightly on the reins. You listened to her gush and talk about riding and it made you miss what it felt like to be training for competitions. You didn’t regret stepping back from it to live the life that you have now, but there was nothing quite like that rush of adrenaline.

The guys had heard the entire interaction and all of them had since gotten their own horses situated so they could come and see what was about to happen. EZ and Angel were leaning against the side of the arena, their voices carrying in the echo chamber it created.

“You know she used to compete?” EZ asked as he watched you hop back up onto your horse.

“Yea, I mean, she mentioned it,” Angle replied, “Didn’t know that she was a fuckin’ celebrity, though.”

“Paparazzi is gonna show up any minute,” Bishop materialized next to them, chiming in with a laugh.

You settled into your saddle, getting both you and your horse positioned so that you could start your run. You could tell that she felt the shift in energy as the two of you stood at the entrance to the arena. You could feel her starting to get a little antsy, a little wound up. It had been a long time since you ran the pattern, but you had no doubt that it would be like riding a bike for the two of you.

As soon as you nudged her with the heel of your boot, your horse took off. You couldn’t stop the laughter that erupted out of you as she flew around the first barrel, gliding seamlessly into the turn. You could faintly hear the guys from the sideline over the sound of the wind in your ears. You felt your hat fly off your head and you didn’t even care. You’d almost forgotten how fun it was to neck-rein at that high of a speed.

You looped around the second barrel, and the third, and your horse all but flew down the center of the pattern as she ran out of the arena. You sat back in your saddle, trying to get her to slow down but you didn’t really want her to. It had to have felt just as good for her as it did for you—the two of you hadn’t done more than a light canter in a while and she was clearly itching to get out some pent-up energy.

Finally she slowed to a walk as you turned her around to head back towards the arena. The young girl came running out of the building with a huge smile on her face, your hat hanging from her fingertips.

“That was so cool!” she handed your hat back to you.

You hopped down off your horse with a smile, “That was the most fun I’ve had in a while, I can’t lie,” you laughed, “I’m glad you asked us to run it—that felt amazing.”

“Do you board here?” she looked at you expectantly.

You nodded, “I sure do. Here every weekend, pretty much. Not that we’re really training to compete anymore, but you know.”

“If we’re ever here at the same time do you think that you could give me some pointers?”

You nodded, feeling your heart swell inside your chest, “Absolutely.”

“Yes! Oh that’s so awesome. Thank you so much. I’ll, um, I’ll let you get back to your friends. But thank you so much.”

You smiled, “Of course. I’ll see you around.”

She bounded off, an excited spring to her step. You chuckled and shook your head as you started to lead your horse back to the barn so you could take off her saddle and bridle. As the two of you meandered, Angel and the guys all came out of the arena, looks of surprise all over their faces.

“What the fuck was that, querida?” Angel laughed as he shook his head in disbelief.

“What?” you feigned ignorance.

“When were we gonna find out that you know how to do all that?” EZ piped up.

“I told you guys that I ride!”

“That,” Angel threw his arm around your shoulder, “was not just riding. That was insane! You guys were fucking flying.”

“Shoulda seen how fast we could go when we were actually training for it.”

“Also, didn’t know that you were apparently a celebrity,” there was a smirk on his face as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

You laughed and shook your head, “Not a celebrity. The horse world is a small one.”

“You gonna be able to teach us how to do all that?” EZ asked with a laugh.

“Not a fucking chance,” you smiled over at him, “But you guys are more than welcome to come here with me any time.”

“Well now we definitely have to,” Angel said, “Gotta see what other moves you’re holding out on.”

“Oh,” you laughed, “you’ll see. Don’t worry.”

[parvulous-writings]

Illness is a Consequence // McCree x F!Reader

Request:     Super new and ive read alot of your fics and your writings are so well written. This is my first req for Overwatch and I dunno if you done this yet but. Reader x A sick Mccree perhaps? Like he comes home after a long day and he starts to almost faint by the doorway what would the reader do? I just imagine her being caring, putting him under the blankets and just spoils him haha. She/her afab btw. No rush take your time 👉👈💖

Requested by: @fragolaaaaaaa​​

Summary: The request! 

Warnings: illness (It’s very generic though)

Words: 1.4K

Notes: Can I just say 🥺. This is an amazing request, I loved receiving it! It also fills me with joy to hear you’ve been reading a lot of my fics! I hope this lives up to your expectations!  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!

Not my gif 

You had been in the Overwatch complex in some sense alone for the past three days. Of course you weren’t really alone, you had many other members of the entire force also in the building with you, but the man you had the closest connection with wasn’t there. He was off on a mission- assigned to him and a few other select members of the force. Unfortunately you were not one included on that list. So, all you could do was wait for your beloved to return to you, hopefully unscathed. You were currently walking back from the canteen, a few brownies in one hand. You didn’t know what they put in those brownies, but damn were they good.  You turned down several corridors, chowing down on your little evening snack, heading towards the quarters that you and Jesse were recently given to share. 

It looked mostly like every other sleeping quarters in the complex- shared or otherwise- with monotonous grey walls and grey floors, though the pair of you were lucky enough to have a window that looked out over the training grounds of the complex. The room was also filled with stray belongings of yours and Jesse’s, some of you shoes, a couple of stray ponchos. It wasn’t messy, but at the same time it could be cleaner. Regardless of that, you still thought it was one of the most homely places you could be. You grabbed one of the discarded ponchos, not caring for it’s cleanliness, wrapping it around your shoulders to relax yourself, and to remind yourself of McCree’s embrace. It still smelt like him- slightly of cigar smoke, the whiskey that he always seemed to like and bang on about, and something woodier, which you assumed was the cologne he often wore. 

You were quite peaceful sitting there on the bed, your eyes wandering aimlessly over the buildings in the distance. You had just finished your brownies- unfortunately- and were starting to settle down to catch some rest, when you heard the door to your quarters slide open. You sat up again, looking curiously over to the source of the noise, to spot Jesse himself, the man you had missed the whole time of your separation, standing there and resting on the doorframe.  He looked up from under the brim of his hat, his eyes coming to rest on you as he gave you a tired smile, so you assumed his assignment had worn him out. “Hey, sugar.” He greeted, and though there was tiredness in his voice, there was something else there too, something that didn’t quite sound right. He seemed to notice your look of concern, and tried to silently wave it away, though when you didn’t look convinced he spoke.  “I’m fine, pumpkin, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.” He tried to assure you as he stepped inside. 

His legs seemed to give out under him, and you immediately leapt from your bed to tend to him. “Jesse!” You exclaimed as you moved, he was already trying to push himself up with a quiet groan.  “No, no, sugarcube, you get yourself back into bed,” He told you, trying to refuse your help as you assisted him back to his feet. “You were about t’ get some sleep, I can tell...” He mumbled, though his protests became weaker and weaker as you slowly guided him towards the bed.  “That doesn’t matter, Jesse. Not when you’re like this...” You told him quietly, taking off his hat and placing it on the bedside table. He collapsed down onto the covers, another quiet groan escaping his lips as he rubbed a hand over his face. 

You gently pushed his hand to the side, pressing the back of your own hand to his forehead- the skin was almost scalding to the touch. “Jesse, you’re burning up..” You tell him, concern lacing your tone. “Get those clothes off, we can get you rested up.” Jesse gave a quiet chuckle at your words.  “Oh, I thought you were thinkin’ another route there sugar..” He mused, before coughing a little bit. You shake your head at his slight childishness.  “No, Jesse. That’s not what I mean, and I think you know that.” You tell him, starting to help him take his poncho off.  “Ah, pity..” He joked, trying to make you smile despite the clear worry in your features. His joking didn’t work very well, though a small part of you did appreciate the effort he was making, despite his rather ill demeanour. 

“McCree, what did you even do on that damn mission? You never get sick,” You muttered, using his last name to emphasise to him how seriously you were taking this situation.  “Well.. It was nothin’ really... We went to Volskaya to try and-” You cut him off with a look.  “You didn’t wrap up properly, did you?” You asked him quite sternly, and he smiled a little sheepishly.  “Well, I tried, sugar- but I got a little too hot before we left our outpost, and-” “For god’s sake, Jesse!” You sighed in exasperation. “I tell you every single time we head out there together, how come you never listen?” You asked him, clearly very unimpressed. “Why am I not surprised that you don’t take my advice, and the one time I’m not there to remind you about it you get sick...”  “I ain’t sick, pumpkin... Just a little under the weather.” Jesse denied with a shake of his head.  “That’s why you collapsed, is it, honey?” You reply sarcastically, carefully pushing him back so that he laid down. McCree sighed softly.  “I just don’t want you worryin’-”  “I always worry about you, Jesse. That’s my job.” You say to him, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. “You stay here for a moment, I’m going to go get you a washcloth in case you get a proper fever, alright? And do you want any food?” Jesse shook his head in response, before giving in to you, knowing full well that you would not give up trying to look after him, so he yielded. 

He sunk back into the bed, as you moved through to the bathroom, grabbing his washcloth for him, and a small bowl the pair of you kept there, filling it with cool, crisp water. You then moved through to the bedroom again, to see Jesse just about to fall into the clutches of slumber. He peered at you through half-closed eyes, giving you a tired smile. “You spoil me, sugar...” He whispered, starting to chuckle before it evolved into a round of coughs. You placed the bowl down quickly, helping him sit up a little bit. “Hold on, honey, I’ll get you some water, okay?” You said quietly, and he nodded silently. You quickly move back through to the bathroom again, grabbing the glass you usually used for rinsing your mouth out after brushing your teeth, filling it with cool water from the same tap. When you return Jesse had stopped coughing, but, still looked very tired, and rather pale. You move towards him, offering the drink which he happily took, bringing the water to his lips, having a few mouthfuls. 

He carefully put the glass on the bedside cabinet, and you pushed it further on to the surface, so that it didn’t fall off. He started to settle in again, and you got up to go and do a few chores, get a few things done whilst he slept, but a hand on your wrist kept you back. You look back in confusion, and there Jesse lay, giving you the most puppy-like eyes he could muster. “C’mon, sugar... Don’t go so soon.. Ain’t ya missed me?”  “Jesse, you are ill. One, I don’t want to get what you’ve clearly got, and two, things need to get done around here.”  “You can get ‘em done later.”  “Jesse-”  “No buts. You wanna look after me, right? Well, I’m asking for ya to stay. That’s how I want ya t’ look after me.” He told you firmly, and you chuckle softly.  “You’re as stubborn as a child, you know that, don’t you?”  “Yeah, but ya love me.” He chortled, pulling you back to him and onto the bed, his arms wrapping around you like you were some sort of beloved stuffed toy. He snuggled his face into the nape of your neck, a smile slowly slipping onto his face.  “Can I have some chocolate when I wake up?” He asks sweetly.  “Maybe, but don’t push your luck Jesse.” 

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McCree taglist: @rey-is-not-a-skywalker​

[duphyduphy]

"Angel"

Summary: Childe's usually outgoing and bright persona was oddly muted that day, enough for Lumine to notice. Maybe that's why he got so recklessly injured while he was helping with her with her commissions. Lumine takes him to her teapot to nurse him back to health, but the two realized something during a peculiar conversation they had after Childe regained consciousness.

This chilumi fic was inspired by the recent housing system update in 1.5! Enjoy!

//

Childe was feeling a bit hazed. His usually outgoing and bright persona was oddly a little muted that day, enough for Lumine and Paimon to notice. He was less talkative and seemed tired for some reason. He didn't even pry her about having their usual sparing matches like he usually does, which she found to be out of character for him. Maybe that's why he got so recklessly injured while he was helping with her with her commissions.

"Argh!", the traveller and her flying companion heard from a distance.

Lumine turned around to see Childe getting struck by one of the Mitachurl from the back as he was fighting off another Hilichurl.

"What's wrong with him today? That was just a Mitachurl. Those guys are big but we fight them with ease all the time. Is he injured or something? Is he distracted?", Lumine thought to herself as she ran towards his direction to help him. Her pace sped up when she saw him fell to the ground.

"CHILDE!"

His vision went black.

***

"Ow... my head hurts"

Childe slowly opened his eyes to find himself in what seems to be a bedroom.

"Where-where am I? Was I knocked out?"

"Hey... you're awake" a soft, almost melodic voice spoke to him.

Still half awake, Childe blinked a few times and turned his head toward the source of the sound to find out that it was coming from Lumine. She was sitting on a chair beside the bed he was laying on. Her hand rested on top of his own, gently stroking his bruised knuckles. Her face worried yet relieved. Her expression was accompanied by a small smile. He would never say it out loud, but he always did found her to be very beautiful. He's sure many men thought about the same thing when they saw the infamous Honorary Knight. What most men didn't see though, was his comrade in action, in the battle field. He still remembers their time in the Golden House, how almost marvelous she looked as she showed him her capabilities. She was definitely powerful, astonishing nonetheless. He also feels some sense of guilt whenever he thinks about that time. She was just a pawn to him then, but now, she was becoming someone more. Even Childe himself has yet to understand this strange feeling. Sometimes he thinks it's distracting. Sometimes he wonders if she thought the same way. In other time, he wonders if she still wants to trust him after what happened.

"Childe? Is your head still hurting?", Lumine asked as she leaned in to place her hand on his head, which he later realized, was wrapped in bandaged.

Snapping back to reality, Childe's face gleamed a dim sheen of pink to the sudden close proximity of the two. Still collecting his consciousness, he looked around and realized that his chest and stomach area was bandaged. He wasn't wearing his shirt either.

"Did- did you take of my shirt?"

"I- WE- WE HAD TO PATCH YOU UP SOMEHOW!! YOU- YOU WERE BLEEDING OUT! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WERE SO DISTRACTED TODAY!!!", Lumine said in a slight panic.

"Calm down! Haha! You're always so easy to fluster", Childe said with a coy smile.

"Ugh. I was really worried when you collapsed like that you know... You did seem really tired and you didn't talk much today either but I didn't expect you to get knocked out like that."

"Aw... did you really think I would be so easily defeated by a mere Mitachurl. I'm a Fatui Harbinger, girlie", Childe smirked with cocky tone.

"And yet, here you are. Well, YOUR WELCOME for caring and patching you up, Mr. Fatui", Lumine said, rolling her eyes while letting go of his hand.

"Wait~"

Before Lumine's hand could move further away, he gently took hers in his.

"I'm sorry I worried you. I guess work got a little tiring and I didn't get enough sleep for the past couple of nights so, I guess I was a little drained. Regardless, thank you for patching me up, Lumine"

Childe has a plentiful amount of nicknames he gave Lumine. Whether it be girlie, traveller, Honorary Knight, comrade, or princess, but rarely does he ever call her by her real name. She blushed to the sudden change in how he addressed her. She found it to be almost sincere and genuine. It made her blush, but she turned her head around so that Childe wouldn't notice. Unfortunately for her, he did notice and took pride in how he's able to form that reaction out of his dear traveller. He always found teasing her quite enjoyable and entertaining.

"Hmph. You're lucky me and Paimon were there with you when you collapsed. Who knows what would have happened if we weren't. Paimon litterally had to drag your body to safety while I dealt with the remaining Hilichurls and Mitachurls"

Lumine always did possess a caring and nurturing personality. Why else would she go out of her way to bring him to her home to treat and care for his wounds personally instead of taking him to Bubu Pharmacy.

"She's just caring. If anyone were in my place, she would do the same thing. There shouldn't be any other reason to this", at least, that was what Childe thought.

"Yes, yes. I'm the luckiest man in the world. I like what you did to the place by the way. Last time I was here, there was nothing but a bed. Not to mention it not matching the interior of the house at all"

"Childe. Are you trying to kick yourself out?"

Her reaction made him laugh out loud with such satisfaction which eventually made her laugh as well.

"Anyways, that Mitachurl beat you up pretty badly. I suggest you stay here for the night to rest. I don't mind really. Plus, you said you haven't been getting enough sleep so... actually why are you loosing sleep anyway? Is work hectic at the moment? I don't know what goes on in the Fatui so uh-"

"About that, uh... work is fine, I guess. I've just been thinking about some things"

"Is... everything okay? What's been on your mind?"

"What ever may I be thinking about that made loose sleep, hm~? Who knows? Maybe it's because of someone I've been thinking a lot about. Maybe it's not~" Childe said as he gave her a smirk.

Childe expected Lumine to get annoyed, maybe even a little curios at his statement. Admittedly, that was his way of hinting his attraction towards her, but he just wanted to play safe and see her reaction. And indeed it was unexpected.

"Is- is that so? We-Well...", Lumine said quietly with a very noticeable red tint on her face.

There was a long silence for a good seven seconds. You could almost here the crickets.

"Shit. Why did things become awkward. I was just teasing her. Does she maybe like me back or is she just flustered-"

"ANYWAY! I'LL-I'll get you some fo-food! Stay here. I'll be back haha... Don't move around too much!", Lumine said frantically as she quickly stood up from her chair and left the room.

Childe gave out a big sigh.

"This is not good. Whatever! I'm pretty sure it's nothing. Ugh, I feel like a school boy having his first crush. Pathetic"

Childe tried to forget the awkward moment they had just a few minutes ago by looking around the room. She really did do a lot to the place. It was nicely furnished. He looked at his side and noticed something at the bedside table. It was an Aster flower placed inside a vase. It was the flower he gave to her during the Windblume festival out of coincidence. Some memories flashed back to his head that made his face softened.

"What an angel", Childe softly said to himself.

Lumine accidentally heard him from outside the room just as she was about to bring him his food.

//

Just something in my head that I could not bother to illustrate with art so here's a fic instead. i hope you enjoyed my chilumi offering for the day. Smirks and blushes. I think you can tell I like those quite a lot. Teasing. Teasing galore.

[kiivg]

.I decided to just go with my three heroes instead of like all my dragon age romances because I’ve got someone for Blackwall, Gaspard, and I’ve got a mind for someone with Dorian too. Then I’ve got a whole load of OC x OC as well, and trying to draw all of them would be time consuming. However! During drawing this, I realised that, technically, Andrastopher, Anders, Marcus, and Zevran, have all slept with one another. Whether that’s between two people or more just depends on when in the timeline haha…. ,’:)c.

.Anyway there’s some things about my Heroes and their love interests below :), thank you for asking! I’m always excited to talk about my OCs.

...

.Andrastopher and Zevran’s relationship starts out as quite a basic thing. Something that’s not talked about in camp or on any of their journeys, but everyone knows it’s happening. On Andrastopher’s side, it’s something to make him forget for a little while, something to take his mind of everything that’s happening to him. Zevran, after all, offers this to him as more of an incentive to keep him alive knowing that Andrastopher most likely will end up killing him. Something that Andrastopher wasn’t exactly quiet about, he did actually plan on presenting Zevran’s head to Arl Howe at some point.

.Of course, everything changes with the course of time. Fighting beside one another in such dangerous situations, it was bound to leave them closer than before. They save each other’s lives, they tend one another’s wounds, and one night, Andrastopher doesn’t slink back to his own tent with a satisfied hum in his belly and stays curled around the other man. There’s a tenderness that blooms between them both, and what was not talked about before, is shown more and more openly.

.Zevran, I think, falls in love with Andrastopher before Andrastopher falls in love with him. He’s too broken to glue himself back together long enough to even think about such a thing. It probably doesn’t help that Zevran had started off by complimenting him on his looks above anything else, and Andrastopher knows he’s a weird looking man; more of a curiosity than a crush to anyone who looks at him. Anything Zevran had said after that was taken with the knowledge that the man would be lying.

.By the end of the blight, something that Andrastopher had hoped to die in, he’d found a reason to live again. Completing Morrigan’s ritual was a risk to take, but one he did so willingly so he could waken next to Zevran another day. However odd their beginnings were, neither man was willing to see the other one gone.

.After the blight, Andrastopher struggles with everything he knows. There’s no place for him in the world, and he cannot hide in Zevran’s arms as if there is nothing wrong. He takes a year to himself, sacrificing himself to the Qun, accepting that he needed a restriction in being who he was meant to be. It was a hard time apart, but the reunion was a sweet one. Though time and work takes them apart for perhaps months at a time, they remain loyal to one another. They marry at some point, a small thing which really only included the pair themselves, a chantry Mother, and Oghren who was both amused and embarrassed about it all.

.To this day they remain together, and regrets have been spoken about how they had initially started out. Andrastopher knows he should have treated Zevran better, something the man has forgiven him for over and over throughout their years. 

...

.Marcus and Anders’ relationship was in-game the rivalmance because it’s so much more delicious than the basic romance. But, in my mind, it’s different.

.They start off butting heads in Kirkwall, Marcus needs Anders’ help, and Anders’ needs Marcus’ help. The idea of anything between them isn’t really on the table at the time since Marcus has been spending his time between Meeran’s legs more often than not. They both find each other insufferable for a variety of reasons; Marcus is egotistic, narcissistic,  overtly cocky, and spends most of his time either fighting or fucking or playing that ridiculous lute he won in the Hanged Man. Whilst Marcus thinks Anders’ fight has been blown to unrealistic proportions, and he’s championing something that can be overcome easily enough, the man has a hero complex that grates on his nerves. Marcus is a Fereldan apostate who lives freely, and he can’t understand why people don’t just escape from the circle; his father did easily enough.

.After the Deep Roads expedition, coming home after eating nothing but mushrooms and drinking rock water for weeks, just to return to Carver’s newfound templar job really makes him rethink his attitude in Kirkwall. Marcus becomes openly supportive of the Templars, he has no choice; Carver’s relation to a mage has him under valiant watch, and though money helps, Marcus has to be on his best behaviour. Being seen with Anders can only damage his reputation, but they had kissed in that foggy desperation in the Deep Roads, not that they’d spoken of it, but it remains a memory that tasted sweet despite their breath.

.Marcus spends most of his time in the Blooming Rose in the next few years, wealth and desire letting him flaunt his time in rented beds. Anders yet plays on his mind, pulling him back time after time whenever he hears the man needs his help. They fight and disagree, snapping with magic curling in their fingertips. Anders feels like Marcus is betraying the very core of himself; denying that he’s a mage in every positive song he sings of the Templars. He hates the man with an intensity that boils over in the need to return to that time in the Deep Roads; when mages and templars didn’t matter, and the once fat Fereldan apostate gave away his shares of tasteless fungi to the mage who knew how to heal wounds. They fight and kiss, biting at each other with teeth and nails, and it is Marcus who storms away; burning with confusion and singed footsteps, and awaiting a visitor at the end of the night.

.When things get particularly bad, Marcus gives in to Anders’ way of thinking, apologising for what they had been through over the years. He gives him a key to the Hawke estate. It’s a safe place to hide, a safe place to smuggle mages in and out. He warns him on Carver’s inclusion, Marcus can’t be seen helping; it would only come back upon his brother and he’s not willing to risk such a thing.

.Anders stops by the estate more and more, and the animosity between them settles into something of a comfort. The man is there when Leandra is killed, he is there to stop him from killing Merrill just a few nights after, he is there to drag him home from the Blooming Rose when he drinks too much to remember where he lives. Marcus knows he doesn’t deserve any of it, and he is selfish when he kisses Anders for the first time in years, selfish when he tries to drag him into bed, selfish when he asks him to stay the night. Marcus’ rise to Viscount is the only thing that keeps Anders safe, and is the only reason that Anders is able to be smuggled from Kirkwall after the explosion.

.It’s a year and a half before they see each other again. Justice has been calmed over the months, and Marcus’ attempts at keeping Kirkwall sane had slowly been overthrown by a group of zealots. A mage couldn’t hold position for any longer, and he had no choice but to flee. He’d spent six months building a home for himself in the ruins of Lothering, and he welcomes Anders with laughter and disbelief when he sees the man again. Years had passed since they had first met in Darktown, but seeing Marcus with a small herd and a weight settling in his gut, it’s the most real he’s ever been.

.They settle together, never intending for it to be permanent. But there is a loneliness that could only be combatted together, and when mages begin to find them it’s hard not to fall in love with one another when they work to rebuild what was once lost. A small village sprouts around them, mages seeking safety and succour found under the guidance of a heavy stranger named Conchobhar, and that taller fellow named Jarl.

...

.Goddard and Yetta’s relationship isn’t actually an in-game thing, since he’s seventy-one at the beginning of Inquisition, and like what options do I ever have apart from making him a sugar daddy (I missed a thing there for sure AH), so I gave him a wife called Yetta.

.Essentially, it’s an arranged marriage for them. Which begins terribly, because neither want to marry the other; Goddard is still holding out hope that he will find his first love again, and Yetta was betrothed to him since she was a child so she’s never had a choice. Their wedding is awkward, Goddard tries to convince his little brother, Milward, to take his place, and Yetta is caught trying to escape from the actual event. Goddard also turns up in Orlesian finery in an attempt to insult Yetta’s family and to remind them that he spent a good few years in bed with a chevalier. It works, but, the wedding still goes ahead, and they’re both miserably married by the end of the day.

.Despite his tactics, Goddard promises Yetta that he’d stay truthful to her regardless of whether or not they end up in bed together. And, in the beginning, neither of them wanted to. Goddard spends his nights sleeping on the floor, and there’s a more than obvious rumour floating around that they haven’t yet slept together. Despite all the pushes and shoves they receive; Goddard being pushed into Yetta’s room as she dresses for the day, Yetta being forced into the bathing chambers whilst Goddard is alone in there, conversations of sex being brought up at their meal times, and even being locked in their bedchamber for so long that Goddard ends up bum rushing the guards who bring them food at meal time.

.It’s not the best beginning, but there is a camaraderie that begins between them in their joint frustrations. Their attraction to one another begins in the written letters they send over the years. With Goddard working in Ferelden, and Yetta remaining in Ostwick, it’s the only way of communicating they have. And though it takes years, it’s hard to deny the way that their feelings grow each time Goddard gets some weeks away from the military.

.Together they have three children over the years, agreeing to stop trying after that due to Wakefield’s complicated birth. They remain happy together until this day, accepting a few blips over the years, and the rather gargantuan blunder of Goddard having an affair whilst incapacitated and presumed dead in Ferelden. Everything that is thrown at them is tackled head on and together, and it is obvious in almost everything that the do together, that their love grows ever stronger every minute they spent beside one another.

.TL:DR: all my heroes are happy and loved and alive :)c.

[kiara-carrera]

permanent ink

note: this is set the day after this drabble i did, but also set in that quick little sad montage in s2e1 when jj gives himself a stick and poke. this is probably gonna be reworked once i actually get to season 2 just for any context issues i run into later on, but the bulk of this is canon for them, my tiny lil babies. none of this is really season 2 spoilers tbfh, but also just know this is set in s2e1. also v unedited.

pairing: leah thompson x jj maybank

cruel summer, season two

When Leah woke up, it was to the sounds of chickens clucking somewhere in the distance and to the dull throbbing of her side against an uncomfortable surface. Even before she could adjust to being awake, even before her eyes could flutter open to assess her surroundings, there was no doubt in her mind that she was at the Chateau, on John’s uncomfortable ass pullout couch.

And then there was that pang in her chest at the thought of even just his name. None of this was right. None of it made sense. It seemed as if everyone around her had just accepted the fact that the Phantom had gone down and wrecked, that John B and Sarah had been lost to the sea. That they weren’t just gone for a bit of time, but forever. 

And yet something in her just wouldn’t let the information click, wouldn’t let the all too apparent truth win the battle with the denial warring through her mind. Grief was something that Leah was slowly realizing she wasn’t capable of stomaching, her brain reverting back to the denial stage like a broken record.

It didn’t make sense. The truth was too much to handle, too much to rationalize. To Leah, it didn’t make sense that the same fate that had befell the father had occurred again for the son, like some sick and twisted tragedy. These were the things that existed only the the thoughts that she shoved down and down, deep where she hoped they would never resurface.

They always did.

She let a groan escape her, an annoyed and frustrated little noise, as she rolled onto her back, eyes still squeezed shut as she considered praying to a god she didn’t believe in to let sleep take her. If not for refuge from all thoughts of John Booker Routledge for another moment, but to get away from the sounds of those fucking chickens.

“Sleeping Beauty finally awakes,” someone said from beside her, a snarky yet somewhat joking tone laced into the words.

Her eyes snapped open as she flailed a bit against the couch, heart jolting in her chest. She managed to sit up a bit before her eyes landed on the source of the voice. A somewhat amused JJ was sitting across the room, legs crossed and his foot in his lap, a pencil dangling precariously from his fingers. 

Memories of the night before slowly came crawling through her mind, sitting on the dock, silent tears streaming down her face under JJ’s arm. They’d sat there until at least two am, mostly in silence while passing a beer between them. She wasn’t sure what had happened after they came back in the house, laying back on John B’s couch the last thing she could remember before she must have fell asleep.

“Jesus Christ, JJ,” Leah breathed out, hand running over her face, her heart galloping in her chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

JJ snorted. “Geez, good morning to you too, sunshine.”

“Fuck off,” she groaned, letting herself flop back onto the couch. She could hear him laughing as she pulled the pillow out from under her head to shove it over her face — it was way too fucking early to be dealing with this.

Look, she wasn’t saying that being around her best friend was awkward, because it wasn’t. At least, she was doing her best to make sure it wasn’t. But there was always that little nudge at the back of her mind, always trying to get her to work through whatever the fuck she was feeling, because it sure as hell wasn’t normal friendship shit.

She spent an inordinate amount of time trying to convince herself that nothing had changed, another round of denial in her life, but really, what was she going to do? Have feelings for JJ? Her best friend? And do what with that, exactly? Dig herself into a friendship ruining hole? Tell him? Hope he’d, in some fucking weird twist of fate, feel the same? The same JJ who’d never had an actual relationship and flirted with basically anyone, including her, even though with her it was always jokey?

Yeah, fuck that.

But that didn’t make this any less awkward in her mind. Last night had been a bit easier, despite the influx of grieving, but she’d been able to ignore that and just be with JJ without wanting to completely bury herself in a hole and never come out.

And there was also the fact that she told him she’d go to Yucátan with him, that she’d pretty much go anywhere with him, regardless of anything. Yeah, that wasn’t something they were skirting around lately. Well, she figured they’d be if she had completely just left that conversation in the back of her mind. 

And it was clear he’d more than likely taken it as a friendly yeah, I’m totally down for just fucking leaving my entire life to go somewhere with you thing considering he hadn’t brought it up once. Which was kind of shocking because while some people tended to write him off as an idiot, he was oddly perceptive when he needed to be. And yet somehow he hadn’t noticed her speech leaned more on the side of weird, cringey, cliche teen rom-com movie bullshit rather than friendship.

God, she hated her brain.

Leah let out another groan, deciding to take initiative to not be a complete fucking weirdo around JJ because fuck, they all needed to stick together now more than ever, and so she promptly chucked the pillow off of her.

Normal, she could do that. And then she truly focused on him as she turned onto her side again, picking up on how he’d fallen silent. The pencil was now held tightly between his fingers, a crease between his eyebrows that was born of pure concentration as he poked at the skin of his lower calf with the needle he’d fastened to the writing utensil.

Oh, great, he’d set up an impromptu tattoo parlor while she was sleeping, that wasn’t concerning at all. And — was he wearing fucking overalls?

Christ, of course he looked good in overalls. Just fucking spectacular. 

“Stare any harder and I’m gonna start charging you by the minute, Lee Lee.”

Leah’s eyes snapped up to meet his once again amused expression, not having noticed how her gaze had seemingly just zoned out at the sight of him. She could feel heat coursing up the back of her neck at the embarrassment at being caught, not even caring at the use of that god awful nickname 

“Nice overalls,” she told him, sarcasm all over her tone. Inside, she was cringing. Nice job, Leah, draw attention to another thing you don’t want to think about, fucking brilliant job, she thought to herself, but her mouth was already going again before she could just, y’know, shut the fuck up. “Is there a barn raising I don’t know about?”

JJ narrowed his eyes at her, playfully brandishing his pencil at her. “For all you know these overalls could have gotten me the best handy of my life once.”

She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her, rolling her eyes at his cocky grin. “Please, no one gets laid wearing overalls. And what the fuck are you even doing right now?”

“Stick and poke,” JJ said matter-of-factly, raising his eyebrows before promptly sticking himself again as if to prove his point. He barely so much as hissed at the stab of needle, tugging his teeth between his lips for a moment as he focused back in on his work. “Kie showed me how to do it.”

“Please tell me you at least sterilized the needle.”

Not even looking up from his leg, he gestured the pencil in the direction of the table beside him. “What do you think the lighter is for?”

Sure enough, his light was discarded beside him. That didn’t do much to make her feel better, though, and she raised an eyebrow at him. “Considering it’s you? Anything from smoking a J to arson, probably.”

“Haha, real funny, Lee,” he deadpanned, rolling his eyes as he continued to stab at his skin. JJ was silent for a moment before asking, “Want one when I’m done?”

If you had told her she’d be waking up to her best friend wearing overalls and offering to give her a tattoo in John B’s living room, she probably would have just stayed asleep. She wasn’t really sure how to tell him she didn’t exactly trust him to stab her multiple times with a questionable looking needle ... and dear God, she didn’t even want to consider what he was possibly using as ink. So she opted to go for the slightly less scathing remark.

Leah sat up a bit, supporting herself on her elbows. “Do you have another needle?”

“Uh...” JJ paused, glancing around the table. “That’s a negative.”

“Then at the risk of getting an infection, I’m gonna pass.”

“I could just do the lighter thing again,” he offered.

Leah sighed, running a hand through her hair as she sat up fully, legs swinging to hang off the edge of the couch. “J, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t even know if I trust that you sterilized it right the first time.”

“Ye of little faith,” JJ cried out in offense, once again brandishing his pencil at her. He jokingly narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re wounding me here, Lee. Total lack of respect.”

“I’m sure your big ass ego will get over it,” Leah retorted, shaking her head at him with a laugh.

They lapsed into silence again, JJ continuing to prick his calf with a steady hand and an oddly intense air of concentration. Leah reverted back to just watching him quietly, resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her head into her waiting hands. This was probably the most still she’d ever seen him as long as she’d known him, bar when he was passed out asleep.

Compared to last night, the JJ she was seeing now was doing a pretty bang up job at holding it together. Or, at least, pretending that he was. They hadn’t said a whole ton last night, but Leah knew as well as she knew the sky was blue that JJ wasn’t doing okay. 

The open (and most likely empty) can of beer on the table beside him only solidified that thought.

She wanted to comment that giving yourself a tattoo after drinking was very much not recommended, a know-it-all tone ready to join the factoid on her tongue, but she wasn’t sure how many buttons she’d be able to push before it’d turn into an actual argument.

And fuck, if there was one person she didn’t want to be on the outs with any time soon, it was him.

So instead, she kept her mouth shut, letting her eyes trail across his furrowed brow and the tongue poking out from between his lips in thought. From where she sat, she couldn’t see what he was etching into his skin and while she wasn’t really supporting the impromptu DIY tat, the suspense was starting gnaw at her insides.

Before she even realized what she was doing, she was up and crossing the room. JJ didn’t even bother looking up as she approached him, his attention only being hooked when Leah pushed a few of the things on the table aside before boosting herself up to sit on it.

He looked between her and the table a few times, before a laugh escaped him. “Sure, just make yourself at home, why don’t ya? You’re lucky I’m done,” he told her, setting his pencil on a bit of the table not occupied by her.

She shrugged, taking the opportunity to look down at his skin. Turning her head to the side so that she was actually viewing the tattoo the right way, she couldn’t help but feel a tug in her chest once it clicked for her.

P4L was scribbled into the skin in JJ’s all too familiar handwriting, thin and somewhat crooked lines formed into a tiny brand of Pogue status. More than that, it was a sign of friendship, of family. In a world of haves and have nots, they had each other. 

A soft smile pulled at her lips, corners turning upward as she looked at it with an equally soft gaze. “It looks good.”

JJ flashed a weak smile. He cleared his throat and the words he spoke were joking, a clear shift for the conversation to go somewhere less somber, less intense. “You jealous you’re not a true Pogue, Lee?”

Leah’s brow knitted together in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“No tattoo, fake Pogue.”

“I don’t remember that in the Pogue friendship rulebook.”

“Just added it,” JJ shot back, a smug little look in his eyes.

She couldn’t help but snort. “Great, I’ll be sure to tell Pope about the new mandate so he can promptly shit his pants at the thought of getting a tattoo with a needle duct taped to a pencil.”

“Nah, Pope’s got guts,” JJ countered but all it took was one raised eyebrow from Leah for his statement to fold like a cheap suit. “Okay, yeah, he’d freak.”

“Ya think?” Leah asked with a laugh, her eyes bright with amusement. She took another glance at his new tattoo. “It really does look good, though. If I actually trusted you to permanently alter my body with a needle, I might’ve reconsidered.”

She expected JJ to scoff and go on another rant of how she was insulting his honor or something, but all she was met with was JJ staring intently at her, lost in thought as he mulled something over. That creeping feeling filled her chest as he looked her over and she had about nine thousand guesses for what could possibly be going through his head as she grew a bit nervous under his gaze.

None of those things were JJ going, “Got an idea,” while reaching around her for something on the table.

She watched on in quiet confusion as he retrieved a Sharpie from behind her, waving it around a bit like he’d just won a prize. There was a devilish grin on his lips as his eyes trailed over her before zeroing in on her arm. JJ didn’t bother with niceties as he pulled her arm from her lap, tugging it towards him and flipping it palm side up.

“What are you ... ?” Leah asked, trailing off as she let him all but manhandle her arm.

“Shh, genius at work,” he told her, pointing yet another writing utensil at her in a mock threat. He took her wrist in his hand, using the other one to push up the array of beaded and string bracelets crowding her arm. 

Pulling the Sharpie’s cap off with his teeth and spitting it out to the side, JJ’s brow furrowed in concentration as he put the marker to her skin, leaving black ink in his wake. Leah already knew what he’d be writing, but still she found herself watching intently as his chicken scratch scribbled across her skin, as if he’d suddenly depart from being sentimental and draw a dick on her arm or something.

He pulled back after a moment, gently rubbing his thumb just under his masterpiece, and he grinned at her, the first real smile she’d seen from him in days. It reached his eyes, the blue of them clear and bright and just ... happy. He looked happy, even if this exchange would only last for another few moments, and it made Leah’s heart do a funny little flip in her chest.

At the risk of making eye contact with her best friend for longer than necessary, the kind of extended look that would risk awkwardness and things Leah was far too sober to think about, she averted her gaze.

Written in what honestly looked like some of JJ’s best handwriting, P4L inked her skin, a small and semi permanent declaration of her Pogue status. A tiny laugh escaped her, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she looked it over.

“There, now we match,” JJ told her. 

She looked back up, eyes locking with his. Dimples showing, JJ was still giving her that smile, that goddamn smile that only ever worked to make hers grow wider. The same smile that had, as of late, made her feel slightly dizzy, like her once perfectly structured world had gone just a hair off-kilter and metamorphosed into something else. And it wasn’t helped by the fact that, though there was no reason for it, he was still holding onto her wrist, callused fingers hot against her skin.

Her heart did that funny little flip again, just once more with feeling. Leah out a breath, nodding just a bit. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

[ichigo-daifuku]

Alone Together

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Pairing: Hawks/Todoroki Fuyumi Genre: Time Travel, Romance, Fluff, Angst, Suggestive Themes

Synopsis: A Quirk accident prompts Fuyumi to travel back in time in various intervals, where she does her best to keep a low profile so as not to alter the future timeline.

Except Keigo catches feelings for her a year earlier than scheduled.

1 | ☆ Chapter One: A Fine Mess Word Count: 5.2k

恋の予感 | こいのよかん | koi no yokan

premonition of love; the sense one can have upon first meeting another person that the two of them will inevitably fall in love.

At five in the morning, Hawks stirred in his sleep and shivered.

The air was frigid. He concluded the heater must have ceased functioning sometime in the middle of the night. If it didn’t, how else could he explain how frosty the temperature in his room was? He took a deep breath and exhaled through his mouth, rubbing a palm over his abdomen. It felt as if he was sleeping beside a block of ice. Groggily, he huddled further under his blanket and tried to fall back into slumber.

Five more minutes, he thought, and then, this early bird will catch the worm… no, the villains.

A shift on his bed followed by a yawn drew his attention. He froze. Eyes shut but conscious and alert, he spread out a number of his feathers and confirmed it: an intruder was on his bed.

Hawks opened his eyes and found a sight that made them go as wide as saucers. A scantily clad woman was curled up next to him, comfortably sleeping as if she was on her own bed. She mumbled something incoherently and embraced his torso, her hold loose but enough for him to feel the outline and curves of her body. A puff of breath from her parted lips tickled his bare chest. Her skin was as cold as ice, and for a second, he wondered if she was feeling unwell—until he came to his senses. He recounted the events of the previous night in search of any factor that could’ve led to this situation.

Hawks had gone through the daily grind of flying around and catching villains. It had been a busier day than usual. Exhausted after his final patrol, he opted to order take-out at a fast-food restaurant on his way home instead of dining in. He ate his dinner, freshened up, put a random pair of sweatpants on, and went to sleep. He failed to recall encountering her last night, and he was certain she wasn’t here when he plopped down on his bed.

Hawks had never met this woman before.

However, from what he was seeing, he slept beside this woman. He didn’t sleep with her, right? There was no way such a thing would slip his mind.

Was he going insane? Was he having his annual spring rut? Was he so sexually frustrated that he was having a realistic hallucination of a very attractive woman sleeping next to him?

“Good morning,” said a feminine voice, still husky from the early hour, near his ear.

Despite the silent questions he raised, the softness of the lips pressing on his cheek was real.

Very much so.

Languidly, the woman sat up, stretched her arms above her head, and let out a contented hum. She stepped out of the bed and left the room while combing her fingers through her snow-white hair, unperturbed.

Hawks, who was still dubious of the situation, left the bed and slipped on the first t-shirt he could lay his feathers on. He went after the woman and found her in the kitchen, browsing through the contents of the refrigerator with a frown.

She cocked her head to the side and scrunched her eyebrows. “Didn’t we go grocery shopping yesterday? Why is everything gone? Don’t tell me you got hungry in the middle of the night and ate it all.”

The two of them went grocery shopping? Yesterday?

Without waiting for his response, the woman grabbed two eggs from the shelf and closed the refrigerator. She set them aside and bent down to get a frying pan from the cabinet.

Hawks wondered how she knew where he kept his cookware, but before he could dwell on the thought, he found out it wasn’t all that she was cognizant of.

The woman knew how to operate the rice cooker and coffee maker easily and prepared breakfast with such familiarity that if he didn’t know better, he’d say it was her kitchen and not his.

All the while, he stood at the entrance, wary and ready to defend himself when she decided to strike—except she did nothing of the sort.

“By the way, have you seen my eyeglasses?” she asked, setting the plate of fried eggs on the table. “It wasn’t on the nightstand. I forgot where I put them.”

“Who are you?” Hawks finally uttered the question he was dying to find the answer to. He took a tentative step forward as a predator would when it stalked its prey. “How did you get in my place?”

She glanced at him but paid his threatening action no mind, filling two mugs with coffee. “Huh?”

“It’s a serious question, Miss,” he stated, his expression grave and stern. “Who are you?”

Silver eyes met his golden ones. For some inexplicable reason, he was taken aback, but before he could mull over the peculiar impression he sensed, the question that left her lips had alarm bells ringing in his head.

“What are you talking about, Keigo?”

Keigo.

She called him Keigo.

He launched one of his longer feathers to his palm and aligned it toward her neck as one would with a sword. The tip of the feather brushed a strand of her hair, from which he spotted distinctive crimson streaks from. It was a unique feature that would help confirm her identity if she refused to speak. “Are you a spy? Who sent you?”

Panicked, she shook her head and waved her hands in front of her in denial. “I’m not a spy! No one sent me!”

“How did you know that name?”

“Which name?”

“Stop pretending you don’t know what’s going on,” he snapped, glaring at her. “My real name. How did you know it?”

“You told me.”

His birth name was classified information. From the day he was instructed to live as Hawks, he had buried his past and told no one his real name. Nobody—save for his estranged parents, the Hero Public Safety Commission, and himself—should have been aware of it. Not even his sidekicks, nor his fans, and definitely not the woman standing in front of him. “You’re lying.”

“Keigo, are you okay? Did you hit your head or something?” The menacing stance he had did nothing to deter her. She stepped forward and touched his head in search of any injuries. When she found none, she retreated and put her hands behind her back. “If I remember correctly, we’ve been on a first-name basis since we met. Well, kind of.”

Why would he reveal his real name to someone he just met? He would never do that. 

Was this woman a delusional fangirl of his? He had encountered a few cases of those, but none of them had gone as far as this woman. She wasn’t from around here, he noticed, as she wasn’t speaking in Hakata-ben. Regardless, this was a penthouse of an exclusive condominium in Kyushu. How was she able to get past the security?

“We’ve never met. I don’t know who you are,” he stated without room for argument. “Now, tell me how you got in, and I’ll turn you in to the police myself.”

She stared at his face quietly, deep in thought. After a long pause, an epiphany struck her, and she spoke in a hesitant tone, expecting the worst, “Sorry, but… could you, perhaps, tell me what year it is?”

“That’s an odd question, Miss. What year do you think it is?”

The response she gave him left him disconcerted. With an uncertain voice, she told him today's month and day correctly, but she added three years to the current year.

When he revealed she was wrong, she backed away and buried her face in her hands.

“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry!” she cried out with an apologetic bow, on the verge of bursting into tears. “We haven’t met yet, haven’t we? This must be so strange to you.”

“We’ve never met.”

“Yeah, not yet.” She paced back and forth and turned to him. “Do you mind if I look around for a bit? I just want to confirm it.”

He didn’t rule out the possibility she was unhinged, but he wanted to know what her deal was before handing her over to the authorities. Humoring her, he let go and returned his large feather to his wings, relenting. “Fine.” 

In case she had any funny business up her sleeve, he followed her. A few of his feathers hovered around her as a safety precaution, too. Yet as he observed her, he had to ask himself: how come she was able to roam around his place like she owned it? 

Similar to the way she acted in the kitchen, she barged inside his walk-in closet effortlessly. Stumbling upon rows and rows of men’s clothing, she mumbled, “My clothes…”

She peeked inside the bathroom and found a lone toothbrush on the sink and men’s products everywhere. “My toiletries…”

In front of an empty space in the living room, she stared and murmured, “My books…”

“None of my belongings are here.” She shook her head with a sigh, momentarily forgetting she had company as she glanced at the calendar on the wall. “I really am in the past.”

Keigo placed a hand on her shoulder, rousing her from her reverie. “Care to explain?”

The sound of her stomach grumbling interrupted her before she could speak. She covered her midriff in embarrassment, the skimpy nightgown she had on drawing his attention again. “Sorry.”

Keigo sighed. From a logical point of view, the current evidence indicated this woman as a threat. However, his feathers tingled in a different way than they would when they sensed danger was in the midst. He had gathered from her whispers that she believed she was from the future. Something strange was going on, and he would get to the bottom of it.

With a few small feathers, he grabbed a hoodie from his closet and offered it to her. “You can wear this.”

“Oh, thank you.” She slipped the hoodie on and awkwardly continued, “It’s cold, isn’t it? Not that I’m bothered or anything, though. I actually don’t mind the cold much, don’t worry! Haha…”

That’s not it, he thought but didn’t bother saying aloud. She already cooked breakfast, might as well let her eat it.

“You can enlighten me of the situation while you eat,” Keigo decided, leading her to the dining area. He pulled a chair out and instructed, “Sit down.”

She followed him wordlessly and watched as he set the table, brought the cooked rice, and sat in front of her. Upon noticing he wasn’t making any move to grab a serving, she spoke, “Aren’t you going to eat? I didn’t put anything weird in there, I promise.”

Keigo had witnessed her prepare them earlier. He didn’t see or smell anything weird in the food either.

She sensed his reluctance and lifted the chopsticks between her fingers. As proof of her innocence, she took a bite of the fried egg and swallowed. “See? It’s fine.”

Keigo acquiesced, putting a portion of rice and egg in his bowl.

“Thank you for the food,” they said in unison.

He took a much-needed sip of coffee and began with his inquiry, “Think you can tell me what’s up now, Miss?”

“Yesterday afternoon, a young girl’s Quirk went out of control and hit me. Nothing happened, but my companion and I went to the hospital to be sure. The doctors said it was a mutation type of Quirk, but they couldn’t confirm anything since the girl’s exact power was unknown.”

That companion was supposedly him. “And then?”

“Since nothing was wrong with me, they sent us home. We went to this penthouse, ate dinner, and slept. But when I woke up, I’m… here. In the past,” she told him. “One of the doctors did advise us to wait for twenty-four hours, so maybe, that’s my time limit.”

“You’re sure this is the past? Not an alternate universe?”

“I think so.”

“How are you going to come back to your own time?”

“I don’t know.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? Why should I believe you?”

“I…” Contemplative, she paused before offering a suggestion. “I’d like to wait for twenty-four hours, at least.”

“And if nothing happens?”

“I’ll turn myself in to the authorities if you’ll insist, but I hope you’ll at least let me call someone for help.”

“Let me guess. A colleague? Perhaps, a fellow villain?”

“No, I’m not a villain. My—” she broke off mid-sentence again, carefully choosing her words, “—a family member would know what to do, I think.”

“How suspicious.”

“Look, I know twenty-four hours is a lot to ask, especially from the Number T...hree Hero, but I’m also confused right now. If I’m being honest, I’d like to go back to where I came from right at this moment,” she confessed. “I hope you can bear with me for a while. It will really help me. Please.”

Keigo felt the accusation he was about to utter stuck in his throat. Sincerity and anxiety radiated from her words. His instincts told him it was an honest appeal for his assistance. While he was still unsure, he was a Hero, and the woman in front of him, a suspected villain or not, was asking him for help. He couldn’t ignore it.

He grabbed his phone with a stray feather and dialed his secretary’s number. “Hello, good morning. It’s Hawks. I won’t be coming in today. It’s an emergency situation, and I’ll be on surveillance duty.”

“Roger, Sir. I’ll let your sidekicks know.”

“By the way, don’t ask why, but can you send a set of women’s clothes to my place? Toiletries, as well. Thanks! Bye-bye!”

“Thank you,” the woman told him as he ended the call. This time, she was unable to hold back her tears, and she wiped them immediately with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Thank you so much. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, Keigo—I mean, Hawks!”

Silence reigned during the rest of the breakfast. It wasn’t the awkward nor the comfortable type. She was engrossed in her thoughts while he was on high alert. After they finished eating, she volunteered to do the dishes, and he allowed her to, knowing she needed a moment alone to collect herself. He stayed at a considerable distance in the living room instead, aware she finished the task without any issues.

Keigo looked up from the YAP! News article on his phone and observed as the woman plopped down on the other side of the sofa and grabbed the remote control on the coffee table.

As if she felt his sharp gaze on her, she turned her face to his direction, and realization dawned on her.

“Whoops, sorry! I just…” she blurted out, embarrassed at the faux pas she committed. “Nevermind. Do you mind if I watch TV?”

“It’s fine.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled, redirecting her eyes to the television. She flipped the channels to find something appealing to watch and came upon an animated magical girl franchise. “Oh, PreCure!” 

“I see,” he noted, caught off guard she chose that show over the morning news on one channel and a rerun of a documentary about the most recent Hero Billboard Chart JP on another. “You’re into these kinds of shows?”

“I happen to know a lot of kids. They love this show,” she replied, heat creeping up her cheeks. “Besides, there’s no such thing as being too old to watch anime.”

“Yeah.” An amused smile crept upon his lips. “You’re right about that, Miss.”

She would squint her eyes from time to time throughout the episode. In addition, since she had been looking for her eyeglasses earlier, he deduced she had poor eyesight. Keigo thought she might get a headache later on if she continued watching television like that. That would be bad, wouldn’t it?

It turned out, he had no need to fret about such a thing from happening. A couple of hours later, she ended up dozing off. He stood, turned the television’s volume down, and fixed her position in a way she could lay down and sleep properly.

How could she let her guard down like that? he asked himself, covering her with a blanket. She seems fatigued, though.

Unable to figure her out, he took a seat on the solo sofa and let her be, still on surveillance duty.

While she didn’t mention anything about being unwell, she was exhausted—that much was obvious. It was only at lunchtime when she awoke from her nap, the sound of the doorbell serving as her alarm clock. Behind the door, the pizza delivery man stood with Keigo’s order in his hands. Keigo settled the payment and brought the box to the living room. He set the box on the table and untied the string on top of it. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you feeling sick or anything?”

“No, just tired.” She shut her eyes and massaged her fingers over her temple. “It must be a side effect of the girl’s Quirk. I’m not usually like this.”

He didn’t know this woman, but he knew how being sick without medicine felt: miserable. “Tell me if you need anything. I’ll get it.”

Her eyes fluttered open drowsily. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not that bad. I’ll be fine.”

“Do you want to freshen up after you eat?” He handed her a sealed paper bag through a feather on its handle. “The clothing and toiletries I asked for earlier arrived while you were sleeping.”

“I will.” She waited for him to release the paper bag with her palms wide open. When he did, she caught it and put it on her lap. “Thanks.”

Keigo decided to take his turn in using the bathroom after she did.

As soon as he stepped inside and shut the door, he was surrounded by her presence. Droplets of water trickled from the tiled walls to the floor. The delicate scent of floral shampoo and the fragrance of milk and honey body wash clung in the air; soft and sweet. No part of his house had smelled like that before. Another crack made its way through his composure. He was unused to having people over at his place. No, scratch that, he never had people over. Given who he was, he had a lot to protect, and to accomplish that, he must keep his secrets. It was a dangerous line she crossed easily. He found the experience daunting.

As quickly as he could, he finished showering, got dressed, and returned to the living room, where he was able to sense her presence. 

She sat in the same area she occupied earlier, flipping through a random magazine she found on the coffee table. The cream-colored turtleneck shirt and acid wash jeans she was wearing clung to her body in all the right places. Upon seeing him, she looked up from the pages and shut the magazine. “Hawks?”

“Y-Yes?” He cleared his throat. “What is it?”

“You’re twenty-two years old at the moment, right?”

“Yeah.”

She chuckled good-naturedly. “I’m still older than you.”

“Is that so?” he asked, unsure of how to respond to her statement. “Are you also older than me where you came from?”

“That’s right.” She returned the magazine to the table and stood. “By the way, do you mind if I wash my clothes?”

“Go ahead.”

“Thank you.”

She gave him a smile and left.

Dumbfounded by their bizarre exchange, Keigo stared at her retreating form and frowned.

She didn’t even ask him where the washing machine was.

The woman stood by the glass walls, the pad of her fingertips touching the surface as she stared at the carmine and amber hues of the setting sun.

Keigo made his way next to her and observed the view closely. The scenery was breathtaking from this altitude. He couldn’t blame her for being enamored by it. It was one of the reasons he picked this penthouse. The sky was fascinating, no matter the weather or the time of the day it was.

“Are you curious?” she asked out of the blue, her gaze still on the horizon.

“About what?”

“The future.”

“Well, I don’t really know if you’re from the future or not,” he admitted, an absurd idea popping inside his mind. “How about you tell me something that will happen a week or so from now?”

“Like a major event?”

“Something like that,” he said, although he speculated a definite answer from her would be unlikely. “Anything will do.”

“Okay, that would be an effective way to check.” The woman nodded. “If what I’m about to tell you happens, will you believe me, then?”

“It depends.” He turned to look at her. Her casual agreement caught him by mild surprise, his curiosity multiplying as the seconds ticked by. “But let’s say you do disappear and come back to wherever you came from after twenty-four hours. At that point, it wouldn’t matter, wouldn’t it?”

“It would. At least, to me, it would,” she stated, meeting his gaze. “I’ve got nothing to lose by telling you, but you have to promise not to meddle. If this is the past, the future timeline shouldn’t be altered.”

“Fair enough,” he agreed with a lighthearted laugh. “Sounds like a plot of a movie.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” She gave him a smile and fiddled with her fingers. The shift in the mood was palpable as she began, “A few days after the term at U.A. High School begins, a class will be attacked by a group of villains.”

“U.A.’s security system is top-notch, though,” he pointed out, not bothering to conceal his doubt. “I don’t see anything like that happening.”

“Everyone thought so, too.” Amused, she added, “Knowing you, by now, you’re already aware that All Might is going to be a teacher at U.A., aren’t you?”

“How did you—”

“I just do, okay?” She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned in. “Remember, you promised not to meddle.”

“Fine,” he agreed. “But if it does happen, who knows? You might have known of it because you’re a member of that ‘group of villains’ yourself.”

“I’m not! I’m not a member of that group of villains.” A chuckle fell past her lips, one tinged with amusement and melancholy. “That’s… not me.”

She returned her gaze to the scenery of Kyushu, and it gave Keigo a good view of her shoulder-length hair. The crimson streaks in it stood out against its dominant white color. When he thought about it, he couldn’t help but compare it to the color of his feathers. They were so alike that a smaller feather of his would blend in with them perfectly. He chided himself for thinking that way.

And so, instead, Keigo debated whether the crimson streaks in her hair were natural or otherwise.

The late-night news was on in the background as the two of them partook in their share of fast-food chicken meals. It was from the same restaurant Keigo visited last night except, this time, he ordered them online and waited for them to arrive after twenty minutes.

“I wish you didn’t have to have meals delivered all the time,” the woman lamented and took a sip of soda. “Eat healthier when you can, okay?”

“Aww, are you concerned about me?” he asked half-jokingly, setting the empty cardboard packaging aside.

“Of course.”

Keigo was quiet at that, once again blindsided by her candidness. He had only met this woman today, yet she cared enough about him to trouble herself about his diet. 

“Hawks,” she spoke, her voice gentle and hesitant, but of what, he didn’t know. “Are you doing okay right now?”

“Just peachy,” he answered promptly like he always did, pushing those strange thoughts aside. “Why would you ask me that?”

A long pause passed before she opened her mouth to respond. “You told me there were times you thought of the HPSC as a birdcage—sometimes, a shackle. Even if I know better, meeting you in this time of your life worries me.”

By then, the sound coming from the television was nothing but white noise. Everything she uttered was the truth. Those were sentiments he had hidden deep inside him and swore to keep to himself. This woman knew about them, though—she knew him well. He found no rational explanation for the way she was aware of specific matters he dared not to speak about. How else would she know them if he didn’t tell her? Maybe, not now, but in the future.

At that point, he started to truly believe her. One thing, however, kept creeping inside his mind once he came to terms with it. He stared at her intently, trying to unravel the mystery that came in the form of this woman. “Who are you in my life?”

“Uh, I am…” She averted her gaze, a blush forming on her cheeks. “That would be a spoiler, wouldn’t it?”

“I want to know.” Keigo was a sharp man. He already had an inkling of who she would be for him in the future, but he wanted the confirmation to come from her lips. “Tell me.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of a bell, similar to that of a cat’s, rang three times, diverting their attention.

The next thing he knew, the woman in front of him had vanished into thin air.

Keigo searched the entire penthouse but found her nowhere. He considered the possibility she had been a figment of his imagination, but he ultimately believed she wasn’t.

The cardboard container of her meal remained on the coffee table, in front of the seat she took earlier. The wooden chopsticks laid on top of a folded sheet of tissue paper, their tips dampened and darkened by the savory sauce of the chicken she ate and said was delicious. Inside his bathroom, the toiletries she used were arranged neatly on the corner of the sink.

The white cotton nightdress, as well as the hoodie she borrowed, hung on the metal clothing rack in the washing area, fresh with the detergent he liked best. A matching pair of underwear with a dainty ribbon—lingerie, to be specific—dangled beside them, mocking him for having thoughts he shouldn’t have had. He laughed them off as best as he could but didn’t know what to do with them. In the end, he decided to put them inside the unused drawer in his walk-in closet.

She might have disappeared, but she didn’t do it without a trace.

He checked his wristwatch and saw it was past midnight. If her assumptions and calculations were correct, it meant she had arrived on his bed last night around this time. He wondered if she made it to the future safely. 

He hoped so.

Hawks kept his feathers vigilant for any clues regarding the supposed surprise attack at U.A. High School. The mysterious woman would appear in his mind frequently because of the information she had given him concerning the near future. It piqued his interest because he found nothing about it. He couldn’t meddle at all even if he knew, which he could imagine, for her, was a good thing.

To his credit, he got the wind of the news before the press did. Class 1-A was attacked by a group called the League of Villains during an on-campus activity in the Unforeseen Simulation Joint training facility. People dubbed it as the U.S.J. Incident. The League of Villains aimed to put an end to All Might but failed in the end. Their leader, however, had gotten away. Hawks couldn’t help but consider what kind of trouble they would stir up in the future. He had to investigate further.

On the flip side, it further proved that the woman he encountered in his home was telling the truth. She was from the future. He opened the door to his penthouse and made his way to his bedroom, remembering her again. In retrospect, they had gotten themselves into quite a mess during the day she appeared. 

Not that he’d see her anytime soon, or so he thought.

It was a faint sound, but nevertheless, a familiar one. An invisible bell rang three times, and a feminine voice spoke beside him, causing him to stop in his tracks in wonder.

“Do you believe me now?” the woman asked, her head tilting to the side. Her doe eyes, framed with eyeglasses this time, twinkled with hopefulness.

“You’re here,” he blurted out, “again.”

“Yeah.” She leaned backward and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I have twenty-three hours this time.”

“One hour less than last time,” he pointed out. “But how did you know?”

“We had time to visit the doctor again. The young girl has a Quirk that sends people back in time. Time Quirks are rare, so existing studies about them are insufficient to undo the whole thing. I can’t elaborate too much on the details, but there’s nothing I can do but go through the whole time travel duration. After this, there will be twenty-two more instances when I will appear somewhere near you at a random moment, each time lessened by an hour.”

“For how long?”

“A year, more or less.”

“But out of all the places you could appear in, why does it happen where I am?” he asked, meticulously processing the information she had given him. “Not that I’m complaining or anything. I’m just curious.”

“I…” she paused, contemplating whether or not to tell him, “because you were the one closest to me when I was struck by the girl’s Quirk.”

“How close?”

“We were standing next to each other.”

“And?”

“We were… holding each other’s hand.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “So, we really do have that kind of relationship, huh?”

She rolled her eyes and averted her gaze, folding her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not going to answer that.”

Despite her dismissal, the pink tinge of her cheeks betrayed her composure. It was all the answer he needed to his question.

They were together. Three years in the future, the two of them were in a relationship. How did such a thing happen?

Time would tell. For now, a cordial smile tugged at his lips, knowing exactly where to begin. “What’s your name?”

“If I tell you,” she said hesitantly, “will you promise not to look for me?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to change the present—I mean, my present—where I’m from. The future, if you will, in your case.”

“Okay, then.” Keigo nodded. It was a reasonable condition, after all. “I promise.”

“Great.” She grinned, relieved he gave her his word. “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Fuyumi.”

Notes: The three-year difference in their timelines and the sound of a bell ringing was inspired by Kimi no Na wa, one of my favorite movies.

I was actually working on a fic for another ship, but I thought of Huwumi again and ended up writing this instead.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading! ❄️

Alone Together

BNHA Masterlist | Main Masterlist

[missmungoe]

I would sell my soul to Satan for a corn chip– or a tiny snippet of Moon and Her Maiden's chapter 3 (if you would, pretty please I'm obsessed with Shanks and his crush Makino and his other crush Makino's fey alter ego).

Haha, no need for such drastic measures!! But this made me so stupidly happy to hear, since I’m currently editing this beast of a chapter, have a little more than a corn chip!

(the story so far)

The galley was abandoned, but it was late for anyone to be up, and she was familiar with their routines now, having learned who were likely to stay up, and the early birds who’d be the first through her doors in the morning, after their captain.

She’d never been inside, but didn’t linger to take it in, noting only briefly the long tables and the stove, and the drying herbs hanging from the beams. Large wooden kegs were stacked and tied securely along the bulkheads, bearing the brands of breweries from every corner of the world, the galley asleep, but ready for a party to weather any storm that might greet them at sea, but then knowing them as she did now, Makino wasn’t surprised.

She’d nearly crossed the whole galley when the flare of a lighter caught her clean off guard, and her heart lurched into her throat as a darkened figure materialised by one of the tables, having been sitting so still, she hadn’t even sensed his presence, but she recognised him instantly, his hair as dark as the shadows as Ben put his newly-lit cigarette to his lips.

“It’s late for you to be awake,” he said mildly, as he took a drag. “You get up even earlier than I do.”

Understanding was slow in hitting her, before she realised with a start how she appeared, stark naked in the galley of their ship, and she scrambled to pull her pelt around her. It wasn’t big enough to hide her, and she kept her arms in front of her chest, even as the rest of her was left exposed.

But his eyes didn’t travel, only held hers calmly. And as his words registered, so did the fact that there was no surprise on his face, even seeing her as she was, wearing nothing but her sealskin, and the terror that surged through her left her voice shaking as Makino said, “You knew.”

Ben said nothing, but then it hadn’t been a question.

She shifted her weight nervously, acutely aware of her nakedness, and where she was, her eyes darting to the closed door where it led to the deck. If she bolted, she might reach the water in time, but even supposing she got away before he grabbed her, what would she do? Hide until they left for good?

And if he reached her before she could get away, and she’d be trapped on their ship―

The old fear had resurfaced from where she’d forgotten it, the weeks she’d spent getting to know them, and their captain, dragged up from her depths with her mother’s voice, faced with the complete and utter recklessness of what she’d done, putting herself in danger like this.

But Ben did nothing, although there was a slight softening in his eyes then, and she knew her face had given her away, and that there was no way for her to even pretend she wasn’t terrified.

And while it wasn’t the triumph she’d feared, should any of them discover her secret, or something much darker that she’d heard even kind men weren’t immune to, it allowed her terror to subside enough that her first instinct wasn’t to flee.

For a tense beat, neither of them spoke. He was seated against the bulkhead, two tables between them, and made no move to get up to approach her. The only light within the galley was the faint red glow of his cigarette, and the moon where it crept through the portholes. It brought out the pattern on her skin, and if her pelt hadn’t been evidence enough, there was no denying what she was now, awash in moonlight.

“How long?” Makino asked him. Her hands shook where they gripped her pelt at her front, still uncomfortably aware of her vulnerable position.

Ben’s expression surrendered no more than it ever did. “Figured it out not long after we came here.”

Her mouth parted with her surprise, but Makino didn’t know how to respond to that information. Had it been a recent discovery, that was one thing, but he’d known this whole time?

The sudden thought found her, that more of them must know, but before she could ask, “They don’t suspect anything,” Ben said, although she heard what he was really saying, which wasn’t referring to his crew as much as his captain. “But you should be more careful. All it takes is one person catching you.”

The gentle reprimand was accompanied by a raised brow, as though to indicate himself, even as she couldn’t tell if the warning note in his voice was because of her recklessness, given where he’d caught her, or because of her deception.

She wanted to ask how he’d found out, if it was something she’d done or if he’d simply put the pieces together, but held her tongue.

Ben’s look was measured, although his eyes never strayed from her face. But then that was the most incriminating part of her, Makino knew, although didn’t think that was why he was studiously not looking anywhere else.

“Are you going to tell him?” Ben asked her then.

She folded her lips. But while it hadn’t been asked accusingly, she didn’t know what else lay in that question. He was difficult to read, and the level cadence of his voice betrayed no more than his face did. His song was the same, steadier than the others in its calm, even metre, never swayed by the desires so openly expressed by his peers. Only occasionally did it yield a thrill, the beat ever-steady but the tempo lifted to an almost breathless pace, watching as he observed his crew, a new bet in the making, or a game of cards. A love of high stakes, regardless of the rewards; a love of the stakes themselves, and a puzzle to figure out.

And so maybe it wasn’t so strange that he’d kept her secret, if he believed this a game worth betting on, even if her gut twisted at the thought that his captain should think it was all a game to her, when she was risking everything.

“I don’t know,” Makino said, honestly. “I don’t want to lie to him, but it’s just…simpler, this way.”

She wondered how she could explain it so he would understand―that being with him in her other form was liberating, even if she couldn’t be herself, at least not fully. That it was safe; that it made her feel in control, when she could never hide her reactions otherwise.

And the simplest truth, although perhaps also the most selfish: that she just wanted so badly to be desired by him.

But whatever his personal thoughts on her reasons, she didn’t think Ben believed she had any ill intentions towards his captain. If he had, he would have voiced his concerns earlier, or outed her, even as that felt like an unfair accusation, watching him now, having known for so long without telling anyone, not even Shanks.

And she didn’t know what that meant. Ben had no loyalty to her, and she couldn’t think of many who’d just keep that kind of secret. Humans were terrible secret-keepers. Pride always weakened their resolve, that already fragile membrane on their conscience broken by their need to be seen, and admired. There was a reason her kind concealed their realms with charms and contracts, binding unwitting humans with unspoken clauses and ambiguous phrasings. And even then there were those who found loopholes; who were dangerous for an entirely different reason.

This was such a man, and Makino had known since their first meeting.

“Ben―” she began, but didn’t know what she even meant to say. It felt wrong to ask him to help her continue to deceive his captain, but just the thought of Shanks finding out through someone else filled her with such a crippling fear, she couldn’t even put into words.

Ben didn’t say her secret was safe with him, but then he didn’t strike her as the kind of man to offer an excess of assurances. But she felt it, regardless―that surety, expressed most vividly when he nodded towards the door and said, “Go left. It’s the door at the end of the passage.”

Her breath rushed out, and Makino didn’t know what to call the feeling that flooded her, struck by the explicit demonstration of trust. It was more than just relief and gratitude, but she was glad of her honest face then, because even if she couldn’t find the words, she wanted him to know what it meant.

“Thank you, Ben.”

She was about to go when, “You shouldn’t be worried,” Ben said, stopping her, before he explained, “About telling him.” Then, the corner of his mouth jutting, lifting his cigarette, “I’d ask to be present when you do, because I want to see the look on his face, but that’s up to you.”

Her smile fleeted over her lips, a little trembling. And it might have been reassuring to hear it said like that―that it would be something they could all laugh about, and she knew his captain well enough now to know he wasn’t someone who took things personally, and who was more likely to laugh at himself than at others.

But it wasn’t that she thought he’d be angry, or anything so primitive, although she didn’t tell Ben that it wasn’t his reaction she feared but what came after.

Turning to go, she didn’t question what gave her the courage, but then had it been anyone else telling her they knew her secret, she wouldn’t have felt like this, Makino knew. But even if she should be worried, the certainty within her refused to budge; the knowledge that he wouldn’t do anything with the information, beyond keeping it.

Trust, and it was curious to feel it so strongly, having been warned her whole life against giving it too freely, and yet it was the only thing that could have made her turn her back to him now, and to walk further into the ship, away from the water, and safety.

Her heart was racing, an almost painful pace, but she didn’t look back, slipping between the shadows as the door shut behind her. Ben let her go.

The passage beyond the galley forked, the right towards a hatch and a ladder leading belowdecks and the left towards the captain’s quarters, but even without his directions she would have known where to go, his presence always at her fingertips, and she knew he was asleep even before she’d reached the door.

She hesitated, her fingers trembling around the handle, and even knowing there was no one else in the passage, Makino did a last check before letting herself inside.

The captain’s quarters greeted her, quiet and dark. And while she’d seen the galley before, the night she’d first come aboard, she’d never been inside his cabin, and didn’t know what she’d expected, but found no surprise as she took it in, the shadows swept by thick brushstrokes of moonlight where it spilled generously through the glass panes wrapping around the compartment. The windows had little diamond-shaped muntins, the tinted glass casting patterns on the planks, like the scales of a mermaid’s tail.

It was spacious, as befitting the captain of the ship, lined with dark wooden boards that looked recently cleaned and oiled. It had built-in shelves stacked with ledgers and rolls of parchment, and a large desk held pride of place in the middle, laden heavily with maps. A comfy-looking armchair sat near the stove in the far corner, one of his cloaks thrown across the back.

His bunk sat off to her right, a sturdy frame around it where it had been built into the ship, and her eyes went immediately to the big figure sprawled across the mattress.

He was also very visibly not wearing a single stitch.

A scalding flush flooded her skin, as her eyes shot to the ceiling in surprise, although they didn’t remain there very long before she lowered them back down, a deeper warmth filling her that left her suddenly flustered, somehow more unprepared for this than she’d been to find Ben in the galley. And it shouldn’t be such a shock when she’d already seen him naked on several occasions, but this felt intimate for a different reason, observing him now in his private quarters―in his bunk, which held an entirely different implication than watching him strip down for a swim.

And just like every time before, she couldn’t take her eyes off him, the powerful frame where it lay, half-wrapped in the rumpled sheets, white against his darker skin and the hair climbing up his chest. He looked to have thrown them off in his sleep, and on his back, he hid absolutely nothing, his nakedness brandished so cheerfully, she might have believed he’d arranged himself like that on purpose.

She’d never seen anyone sleep like that, so―provocatively, for a stunned beat all she could do was stare like an idiot.

She felt a moment of panic, as though the sight of him naked in his bunk had really driven home just where she was and what she was doing. And she didn’t know what she’d even planned, coming here, but then she hadn’t had a plan, except to see him, not as she did every day at the bar but as her other self could. She’d wanted the freedom it gave her―that he gave her, to see him, and touch him.

And even if she didn’t know exactly what she’d planned to do, she knew what she wanted, recalling the last time they’d kissed, that night in the cove. The following times they’d met they’d spent talking. He’d made no advances, but then she wondered if he might be waiting for her take the lead this time, which might have been considerate if she had even the slightest idea of how to proceed from here. Because kissing him was one thing, but it was something else she wanted now, and that had kept her awake so many nights, thinking about him.

Makino watched him where he slept, indecisive. And it wasn’t too late for her to leave, to run back to her bed and pretend she’d never been here. Shanks wouldn’t know that she’d chickened out; the only one who would was Ben, but she could live with his amusement.

She tried to gather the unravelling threads of her courage, her eyes leaving Shanks’ sleeping figure in search of something a little safer, and chose the first that presented itself.

Drawn towards his desk, her heart held in her chest, as silent as her bare feet where they carried her across the planks, the stillness of the compartment broken only by the gentle creaking of the ship and Shanks’ snores.

Outlined in the moonlight, the maps showed the oceans of the world, and more islands than she could have thought existed, drawn in breathtaking detail.

Wide-eyed, Makino drank them all in. She found Dawn Island on the topmost map, outlined in green ink; a small blot in the vast East Blue. And she’d always known the world was big, but it was something else to see it in this context, and to realise just how small her little corner of the sea was, or at least how it must feel to someone like him, who’d seen so much.

The cartographer had embellished them with illustrations, the borders of the maps showing landmarks and creatures that defied even her imagination. The kings of the ocean; the lords of the coastlines and bottomless depths, each one greater than the next.

Her brows knitted gently as her eyes were drawn to a tiny figure, pictured along the borders of West Blue, and touching her fingertips to the illustration, her breath caught softly as she traced the familiar lines of a small, round shape, the little creature gentle and unassuming amidst the terrifying kings in their colourful scales and trappings, the speckled white spots in its pelt glimmering in the moonlight.

She was so absorbed in the maps, she didn’t notice that it had gone suddenly quiet.

And that Shanks had stopped snoring.

The cool edge of a blade touching her throat had her eyes flying open, although it was his voice that seized her breath in her chest.

“Trespassing?”

[dreamieofu]

100 Reasons Why

pairing; classmate!haechan x reader - mention of other members  word count; 8.0k genre; strangers to lovers!au, classmates to lovers!au, angst, fluff, slice of life, slowburn(?) tw; alcohol consumption; (i’m not saying everyone was drinking, it’s just mentioned) pls let me know if there are others.! summary; you’ve been in love with haechan for the longest time, and when both your parents go on a business trip; you’re both left alone. 

a/n: hi, honestly i wrote this with no prior thoughts. mostly written blindly and i wrote so much of it, but i couldn’t just delete it... so i finished it lmao. i hope you enjoy it though, i kinda like it haha. please don’t hesitate to give me feedback >:( yeah... i have no clue. enjoy ♡♡♡

You had a 100 reasons why you shouldn’t be in love with Haechan. Biggest reason? He was your bestfriend’s crush. She fancied him for the longest time, dare say you did longer. But she was vocal about it first. And everyone knows the rules of dibs. You’d sulk around it forever, listening to her words about Haechan, knowing full well and agreeing with all the compliments she’d praise him with. 

You and Haechan are in the same class, have been for years. But the year of blooming cherry trees and spring flowers, you fell in love.

The way the sun peaked through the strands of his hair, the kiss of warmth on his skin and the glow that was shining from his eyes as laughter hugged his smile. You couldn’t help but stare, and you found yourself doing so, shamelessly on different days. His soothing voice echoing through the classroom as he joked around with friends. You and Haechan weren’t the closest pair of classmates, you only had your bestfriend for the most part. But that didn’t stop you from overanalysing every little thing Haechan did in relation to you. That one day he opened the door for you, or when he’d ask to borrow your pencil. Tiny interactions that were all stored in your heart, but… You never really did anything about it. A part of you gave up on the fact that Haechan would notice you anything different than from a classmate. You didn’t really stand out, you blended in the background. Never had top marks, or the lowest. You were average. Nothing in comparison to your bestfriend. Not only did she have the beauty, she also had personality. She was undoubtedly one of the most prettiest girls in your class. But she was a dear friend, someone you didn’t want to fight over with, because of a boy. 

“Did you see Haechan today? Wasn’t he so handsome? I think he did something different to his hair,” She grinned, lips wide and eyes sparkling. You smile meekly at her words, biting into your lunch. You noticed he did change something with his hair, but you didn’t want to speak up in case you were wrong. Lunches were usually filled with comments about Haechan, other than small talk about other news. Your days revolved around him though, regardless of anything. Especially with your bestfriend giggling with hearts all over her head thinking about Haechan. You were sat near the far back of the lunch hall, Haechan just a few tables away with his friends. Some weren’t from your class, again confirming how sociable he was. You always admired his way with people, regardless of his teasing and extroverted behaviour. He was really likeable to everyone he met. You watch as your bestfriend turned around, evidently catching eyes with Haechan as he sent over a slight smile in her direction. A bit of jealousy tapping at your heart as you diverted your attention from their little interaction, beginning to play with your food. From the corner of your eye, you were greeted by a pair of black converse, gaze following up the legs of the figure to meet eyes with none other than, Haechan. “Mind if I take a seat?” His voice like honey, and you’re all flustered that you don’t respond at all. Your bestfriend however, bravely reached out for his wrist and gently brought him towards her side of the table. “Yes.” 

“-Urm, weird to say but my friends told me to come over and say hello,” He confesses, looking back and gesturing at the boys who were laughing to themselves at the table. He turns back to look at your bestfriend, a sweet smile, as he proceeds “One of them has a crush on you.” Haechan’s words were direct, to the point and he looked so cool and unbothered, hand clasped in front of him. You again, couldn’t stop your staring. Eyeing the rings on some of his fingers. Then again, it made sense why he would say that, it wasn’t the first time someone tried to pursue your bestfriend. You look at her though, to find her a bit defeated that Haechan wasn’t the one with the crush. “Which one?” She asked curiously looking back at the boys, a small pout playing on her lips as Haechan looks at her. He coughs briefly into one of his fists, turning his body to look back with her, “You see the guy with the silver hair, that’s Jaemin -“ Haechan proceeds to explain about Jaemin, helping her distinguish which boy it was. She nods along with his words, “I see…” She speaks softly, she stays watching Jaemin for a few moments while Haechan has his attention back at the table. You catch his view, and he smiles at you. His hair was different, now that you’re looking at him closely. Honey locks, and the way it was styled all messy. It suited him, all too well. You return the smile back earnestly, giving him a small but awkward wave. His smile only grew bigger at your gesture. “Hey,” Haechan finally greets you, his gaze familiar. Your bestfriend turns back from hearing his words, “Did you do something to your hair?” She speaks up, breaking the moment between you two. His eyes leave you and falls back on her, a hand reaching to the back of his head to ruffle his hair a bit. “Yeah, did you notice?” You managed to catch a tinge of red at the top of his ears. His hand moves to pat his hair back in place but your bestfriend is twice as bold, doing it for him. She hums in response, “Yeah, I really like it. Don’t you Y/N?” You clench your jaw, to swallow the nerves. Haechan’s soft eyes returning to yours. Even with him looking at you, your eyes divert toward her hand at his neck. The way she grazes the small tip of her nails against the back of his head, with her wrist relaxed at the crook of this neck. “I like your hair,” your words simple, a reassuring nod at his way as he beams at your response. “Also…Tell Jaemin, I’m not really interested. I like someone else,” Your bestfriends words were suggestive to him, and honest as she scrunches her nose. Already grabbing his attention once more. By now she was used to rejecting boys, although she’s had her fair share of her tiny flings. Her eyes were always set to Haechan after each boy. It discouraged you because you never did get your chance with him, even platonically. She was always first to pick. With her hand still at his neck, Haechan peeled it off. Hands returning back to his sides, glancing down at you for a split-second. “Alright cool, I’ll be sure to tell him,” He uses his hands on the table to help push himself off the seat before he made his way back to his original table. Your heart following his walk, as you sigh to your bestfriend who too was watching him leave. “Do you think Haechan got the clue? That I’m into him?” She speaks mostly to herself, her hand blindly out for yours in seconds looking for comfort. You slowly look away after seeing Haechan, who is now sat back down continuing his talk with his friends. You notice Jaemin shrugging at Haechan’s words, continuing off. And they all laugh. “I mean, you were kinda obvious… It was hard to read him,” You tell her, this time squeezing her hand back reassuringly. She only nods at your response, before letting go and carrying on with her little ‘ I wonder if Haechan… etc.’ for the rest of the lunch break. Your mind not focusing, the only thing you were thinking about was his smile.  

That same day, you arrived home to be greeted with emptiness. Confused you make your way through the entry until you hear chatter in the living room. Your head popping through the doorway for you to squeak a small noise. What’s he doing at your house? From the small glance you gathered, your parents, Haechan and his… parents? It was quiet, probably due to your abrupt appearance. Your back against the wall next to the doorway, hands in your face. Your mind couldn’t really process it all, but you’re called back to reality when your parents call your name. Your head sprung up, and you drop your bag slowly trying to gain composure. You exhale a puff, hands flattening your clothes. You make your way back into the view of the doorway, small steps and eyes definitely avoiding everyone. The atmosphere was without a doubt awkward, close to unbearable especially since you felt everyone’s stare piercing though you as you walked further into the room. “Over here darling,” Your mum calls out for you softly as you waddle towards her voice. Her hand padding the extra seat next to her on the couch. You sat in between your parents, finally raising your head from the wooden flooring. Haechan and his parents offered you encouraging smiles, as you made yourself more comfortable. They’re sat across from you, another couch in your rather large living room. Open curtained windows behind them, as the sunset defined Haechan’s frame with a soft glow. You curse at yourself for not being more composed. You look back to your mum as her hand rubs your back briefly. “Y/N, this is the Lee family. We were just discussing plans about an upcoming business trip me and your father have to go on. You know, the one I spoke to you about yesterday,”. 

You scanned your mothers features, furrowing your eyebrows trying to remember what she told you. “Anyway, the Lee family will also be joining us. And we decided as a collective that it would be better if Haechan stayed with you whilst we were all gone,” She continued explaining through your silence, eyes diverting between the Lee family and you. Your mind slowly linking the information you were digesting. 

Another reason you couldn’t be in love Haechan. Both your parents worked in the same company. Although, there’s no real reasoning behind that. It felt weird how your parents would talk about how you were classmates. You’ve spent time with each other outside of school, on brief occassions, but you never really spoke to Haechan. The continuation of praise that beckoned Haechan was never ending, and you were all here for it. Lee Haechan was a piece of work. You always felt undeserving of him.Your whole world had echo’s of him, it was hard for you to distract your mind from him. Sometimes, it was confusing to figure out how your memories seemed like they were all connected with him in the background. It was strange, how frequent a boy would be mentioned and how much he was present around in your life, without the both of you being close friends. You never pushed friendship onto him either, partly because of the opposite personalities. But could it be that this was an oppoirtunity that could ignite something closer between the both of you? Your mind then drifted to your bestfriend, only imagining the kind of reaction she’d have once she hears Haechan would be staying with you for a couple of days. 

“Is that alright with you Y/N?” Your dad’s voice rings you away from your thoughts, and you find yourself looking at Haechan as he said his words. It wasn’t the first time you’ve been left alone whilst your parents had to go for a business trip. Maybe it was because this trip was a lot longer than other ones, they couldn’t leave you alone. A guess: Haechan would also be left alone. These thoughts weighted down, as you tried to find excuses for this arrangement. In all honesty, you didn’t know how you felt. Sure your house had the right amount of rooms, it would be fine for the most part. It was just a week or so. You could handle that. 

“If it’s okay with Haechan, it’s okay with me,” You nod. Your eyes never left each other, as Haechan gives you a warm smile. He felt reassuring, like this was completely normal. As if both your parents weren’t leaving a the both of you alone for a week. 

It was a Saturday when Haechan would be making his way over to your house. Your parents went over rules, about which numbers to call, what to do in a certain situation, never hesitate to call them for any extra money and most importantly, be nice to Haechan. You spent most the morning cleaning up the house, so it was well presented for the Lee family’s arrival. Today was the day your parent’s were going to leave. Nervous was an understatement for how you felt. It was around midday when you heard a ring at the main door. You were in your bedroom, listening in, as your parents invited them into the house. Everything was all set. “Y/N! Aren’t you coming down to say goodbye?” You mum calls out for you. You quickly pace down the stairs, with a genuine smile as you greet Haechan’s parents. A little small talk, and you notice Haechan wasn’t with them. You tried your best to give them all of your attention but, your mind couldn’t help but drift off to where he could be once you realised his absence. Wasn’t he meant to keep you company? Your thoughts were confirmed as your dad came jogging towards everyone, Haechan’s presence following behind. Fitted in a big white tee and black shorts. You would never get used to him with casual wear on. You start feeling a little flustered the moment he was steps away from you. His graceful smile now held by his cheeks, you even swear you saw a small tinkle in his eyes as they finally approach the group.

“Ready to go?” Your dad speaks, an arm reaching past you towards the luggage. You guess your dad was escorting Haechan to one of the guest rooms before he came down the stairs. There was a mumble of agreements, before you exchanged farewells and hugs with your parents. Haechan does the same. 

You both watch them leave into the car before the air between you got thicker. Your parents really left you with Lee Haechan. 

A lump is formed in your throat as silence swims between you and Haechan. He’s first to speak, “Hey, I know we never really spoke, or really had a choice about this. But thank you for welcoming me into your home.” His voice was assured and was lined with concern for you. His back leaning against the hallway wall, small strands of hair framing his forehead. His calm aura already making you nervous. Maybe because of the kind of energy you were giving off. You didn’t want to meet his eyes. This has been the first time you’ve ever been properly left alone with Haechan. “It’s nothing really,” speaking softly, “I see you around in school, we’re in the same class,” You try making conversation with him. Hearing his laugh makes you bring your head up towards him, “I know that,” He confirms with you, his hand forward harmlessly nudging the side of your arm. You laugh with him, feeling relaxed. He really knew how to lighten the mood. “Would you like to watch a movie?” You suggest, it felt like the best option. You didn’t need to talk with him, and it made time pass by. You weren’t really expecting anything much, but he chuckles at your suggestion. “Nah, we’re going to throw a small party,” a devilsh sly smirk grows on his expressions, as your eyes widen at his statement. “We’re young, our parents are literally out of town. This is the perfect opportunity!” He grins, already pulling out his phone tapping away. His back lifts up from the wall. 

“But- The house will be a mess… I haven’t got anything to prepare for it. How many people will come? I don’t think I can pull this off. Are you out of your mind? A party? I don’t know,” Your mind is running your mouth, you knew Haechan was popular. But a party? First night he comes over at yours? ‘I mean, it is a Saturday’ you thought to yourself. 

“Don’t worry so much, just a few friends. And I promise, I’ll do the cleaning,” His hand motions towards your face, bringing his small pinky out for you to link yours with, marking a promise. “Okay.” 

“I cannot believe. Lee. Haechan. Is staying at your house for a week.” You bestfriends words squeal near your ear, as she combs your hair. You called her earlier to tell her about Haechan’s plans, and to ask her a favour. You wanted to look pretty for this whole, ��Party’. You wanted to show Haechan you were confident, that you could be pretty too. “Tell me about it,” your eyes scan yourself in your mirror. You put a little more effort in your looks, and even if Haechan didn’t see your efforts. You still felt beautiful nonetheless. “I’m so jealous though, all that free time you’ll have with him.” She trails on, but you actually felt really nervous. A week is sort of a long time, if he’s so spontaneous like this, you have no clue what tricks he had up his sleeve. He said he’d invite around 6 of his friends, to not worry you. A small bit of him urging you to also invite your bestfriend, exaggerating how Jaemin is still interested and then maybe he can meddle between and make them all ‘buddy buddy’ with each other. You’re wearing casual clothes, something that flattered your figure. Nothing too tight fitting or too revealing, but you thought this was a nice look on you. It seems your bestfriend also thought so, by the way she would gleam at you, as you stood up from your chair, away from the mirror. “I have no idea why you don’t try to look like this, always,” She teases you as your eyes roll. You wipe your slightly clammy hands against your denim jeans before pressing your lips together. You both hold hands as you walk out of the bedroom, skipping down the stairs. 

Haechan changed clothes, from his lounging shorts to some nice trousers and a fitted shirt. You couldn’t help but trail your eyes by his waistline, following the motion of his legs as he places a bowl of snacks on the table in the living room. You feel your pace get slower as your bestfriend squeezes your hand. A silent message most probably similar to the way you were feeling. Haechan’s hair framed his face just right, his gaze looking up from his eyelashes as he catches your presence at the foot of the staircase. His posture gracefully straightens, eyes never leaving yours as he does so. But what you don’t notice is the way he would look you up and down for a short moment, a small smile forms barely at the corner of his left lip. 

“So when is everyone making their way?” Your bestfriend perks up, letting go of your hand to leap on the couch, her hair flowing behind her. He glances at his watch, as you find a seat. “Alcohol…” You mutter, mostly to yourself. You’re not too familiar with alcohol, but you guess a party without alcohol wouldn’t be a party. “They should be arriving anytime now,” Haechan answers, he places himself next to your bestfriend though. Opposite you. Your heart slightly inflates watching how his arm reaches out to spread against the couch. His hand slightly grazing the back of your bestfriend as they look at each other. She moves her body, to be more faced towards him. They start small talk, and you feel kind of left out. Rolling your shoulders back, your hand absentmindedly grabs hold of the neck of the nearest alcohol bottle to you. You grab three cups, although they’re too busy to mind you, you still pour them a drink. Maybe swinging a little extra in your cup as you pour the mixers after. You make a small gesture to slide the drinks towards them. You gulp down a few sips, before the door rings. Figuring that they’re still immersed in their own company, you make way to the door holding onto your cup as you open it. 

You’re greeted by 6 other guys, all admittingly handsome. You’re familiar with their faces seeing as you attend the same school, they’re loud as they make their way through the door. Your gaze falls back watching them pile into the living room. You overhear Haechan’s excited voice as they all talk over each other. You look at your cup before deciding to just, drink it all. After doing so, you shut the front door. A small fuzz settling in your mind as you pave your way back to the now dimly lit living room. 

As the night played on, you got more comfortable and decided this wasn’t that bad. Even though you had small but reasonable amount of drinks in you. It fuelled you with that confidence, to speak up and actually enjoy yourself. You actually found yourself laughing along with them. You’d sometimes catch eyes with Haechan’s. But you chose to ignore it, to focus your energy on letting yourself really enjoy this moment. Besides your bestfriend seemed to be just as confident as you, but ten-fold as she clings onto his side most the night. “You know, Y/N, you’re actually kinda cute.” The boy Renjun speaks out as the laughter quieted down, taking a swing at his beer. This made you feel shy, everybody's eyes slowly falls onto you, putting you in the hotseat. “You don’t talk much in class do you?” Mark calls out after before you could say anything. Your nibble on the inside of your bottom lip, you weren’t sure how to respond. Somehow you look at Haechan, finding something to say, “I guess I don’t really talk often,” You trail on, giving Mark a small smile. Haechan notices a dimple on the left side of your cheek. Mark returns an even bigger smile, “You should, you’re really funny too,” Jisung sings, your bestfriend speaks in agreeement with him. All this sudden attention really started to make you nervous, so you just drank more of your drink. 

“I think we should hang out more often,” Jaemin resorts, his eyes now on your bestfriend whilst saying so. She giggles though, and agrees. You guess, maybe you’ve gained more than just confidence from this party. But more friends. Your bestfriend, flips her hair and claps once, gaining everyone’s attention. “And with that being said. Shouldn’t we get to know each other more?” She cocks up one of her eyebrows teasingly eyeing everyone.“Never have I ever…” She continues, a grin reaching her lips, “snuck out the house,”. The sentence she chose wasn’t as out there as you’d originally thought, but gingerly enough you take a small sip. Noticing a few other people doing so. The next few ‘never have I ever,’ questions felt innocent until… “Never have I ever been kissed,” Jeno smirks and everyone takes a gulp besides you. This doesn’t go unnoticed by others as you start to feel awkward under their stare. “No way? For real?” Jeno speaks after, his question moreorless directed towards you. You bite on your lower lip, feeling a little inexperienced from everyone else. But you nod at him, “I’ve never been in a relationship,” You confess with a shrug. Your bestfriend points a finger towards the boys her next words suggestive and intoxicated, “Maybe one of you can snatch her up,” She teases, giving you playful eyebrows. You laugh at her words, but hear near to nothing else from anyone else. The tension in the air shifted a little. You glance towards Haechan to find him already looking at you. Even with your eyes connected for those few moments you couldn’t really read what emotions he had behind them. You look at the other boys, feeling shy under Haechan’s gaze. “I hope you know she’s not being serious,” You attempt to make the atmosphere lighter, and back to playful. Chenle speaks first, “You never know…” taking a sip from his drink. It’s not that you didn’t want a relationship, you were just not given the opportunity. “Whatever,” you reply back. You all continue the game, but as the night continues Haechan can’t get his mind off the fact that you’ve never been kissed. 

The night was fun, but soon died out as the night got later. People made their way home. Your bestfriend kisses both your cheeks before blowing a last one to Haechan’s direction as she slips out the front door. You shut it behind her, leaning back on the door and sighing. Your eyes shut, tiredness holding them down as you stand there. You really had a lot of fun, a new memory as you playback some moments that happened tonight. “So I’m guessing you enjoyed yourself?” Haechan’s voice wakes you from a sleepless daze, as you open your eyes. He’s stood closer to you than you thought from the sound of his voice. Your eyes take in his features, realising the height difference a tad bit from the closeness. You nod slowly at his words, “I did… I had a lot more fun than I thought. I like your friends, they were really nice to me I think,” You speak your thoughts, looking at his shirt. “Well, you are a cute girl… Boy’s are always nice to cute girls,” Haechan interrupts with his voice clear and laced with no other intention but to edge you on. You narrow your eyes at his comment about to say something, but he turns his heel making his way to the guest room. “Goodnight, Y/N. And as promised I’ll clean it up tomorrow,” He waves one of his hands in the air, turning his head behind his shoulder to give you one of your favourite smiles unknowningly. You watch him leave, as your heartbeat becomes more prominent. His words highlighted as you repeat in your head: “He thinks I’m cute?”

You woke up the next morning to the sun behind your eyelids. Blindly searching for your phone, checking the time. It was 1pm, you slept in. You get out from the bed and brush out your hair, and clean your teeth. Your feet padding towards the guest room, to knock on this door to see if he was awake. When you get no answer, you find the living room clean. As promised. That brings a smile to your face knowing that Haechan really did stick to his words. Before you know it, you hear keys behind the front door. Haechan swings the door open with his foot keeping it placed open as he holds groceries most probably for breakfast and coffee with his other hands. You’re quick to meet him, a “Good Morning,” exchanged in whispers as you help him hold the things. He follows behind you into the kitchen, “I bought breakfast,” He states the obvious, taking a seat at the table, his hand reaching for an energy drink from one of the paper bags. 

“Thank you, but you didn’t have too. Also… thanks for cleaning up,” He grins at your words, taking a sip from the drink. His hand reaches out to ruffle your head a little too roughly. Taken aback, your hand shadows after his, fixing your hair. “It’s nothing really, it wasn’t even that messy. Don’t mention it,” You nod at his words, reaching for the eggs in the bag. You get up from the seat to grab a frying pan, “So how do you like your eggs?” You offer to make the breakfast as compensation from him doing all that cleaning and purchasing some things for breakfast. He gleams at your direction, his eyes curving as you turn on the cooker. “I’m good with any,”. 

Days went by really quickly, considering how you also had a week off school. You spent a lot of time with Haechan and his friends. Your bestfriend included, but it was during night, when the streets were empty, and where the street lamp would slightly cast over the living room whilst you had late night talks with Haechan. Mostly about random things. It was nice getting to know him, knowing more than how you’d perceive him in class. And each time, he’d confirm everything you thought you already knew about his personality. It was a nice feeling, getting to know each other, and laughing. You really begun to feel comfortable with him, and you thought there was a chance, maybe he felt the same. 

“You know, I have noticed you before. Hard not to… My parents talk about you sometimes at home,” He confessed into the night. 

It became silent, and you could feel your heatbeat against your temple as he fidget’s with the end of his sleeves. “Same,” You reply, noticing his small habits of nervousness. This Haechan was different from the upbeat one that he’d always portay himself as in front of his friends. You always thought he was the happiest and that he would always carry the mood of the group. But this Haechan who sat across from you, felt real. More real than you thought, in a weird sense. Like all the good things about him were undeniable, but in this moment he feels vulnverable. He feels down to earth. A comfortable silence surrounds you, and the lights from the street glazes his eyes, like he was gifted all the stars in the universe. He shines so brightly even under the moonlight. His lips slightly parted, as he watches his hands. It’s been a few days, and soon this little thing you have going on will come to an end. Although you have no clue what will happen, you feel grateful to the times you did spend together. He makes being around him feel easy, he was really understanding and took his time with you. “I’m really glad we got to know each other better,” You smile to yourself shamlessly, avoiding his eyes. You could hear him chuckle a small bit, and it makes you feel warm inside. “You’re not too bad yourself,” His fist gently nudges your shoulder playfully. You laugh with him, and suddenly meet eyes. 

There were a shift in his gaze, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. He looks at you through his eyelashes, and you can’t help but scan his expression. The tiny moles that were on his face, the natural soft shaped heart of his lips. He really was beautiful. Haechan doesn’t look past this though, his eyes never leaving yours as your mind rolls, he watches the way your eyes flicker between his facial features. His heart tightening a bit as he shifts in his position, you’re watching him none the obvious but he still doesn’t speak out about how your staring makes him a bit shy. “I liked spending time with you. It was fun,” He continues, in attempt to make you stop your movements. You sink, shyness from his words making your frame appear smaller. Your eyes now averted. Suddenly hyperaware that you were staring, again. 

The atmosphere being a bit too much for your soft heart you blurt out, “You know, my bestfriend likes you.” It was random, and althought you didn’t mean to tell him the way she felt towards him. Having want to put yourself out there. Somehow, she came to mind in that moment. Furrowing your eyebrows your mind drifts; thinking about how you always felt that she was more deserving of Haechan, that they suited each other more. You don’t know what came over you, your mind scattered with thoughts of what if’s and questions. Haechan’s been kind to you during the whole time he was staying with you. A part of you felt as though, maybe that’s all there was to it. He was just a kind-hearted person. There’s no real way he was ever going gain such romantical intentions with you, within a span of a few days. For some reason your feelings for him, that have been living rent free in your mind, have blinded you and painted a picture you knew was far from your true reality. Maybe having this friendship, was enough for you. And you didn’t want to change that. “I know,” He says with a shrug, “She makes it kind of obvious,” Haechan’s soft laugh calms you down. Your inner mind agreeing, that it was okay if Haechan never reciprocated your feelings. Maybe you’d just have to move on from it, but there was no denying you did grow a whole lot closer and more comfortable with each other. Maybe more than you both could have imagined.  

Your heart felt confused. Ever since Haechan went back home, you felt as if things have changed. When you said goodbye to each other after your parents came back, you didn’t know it was going to be a real one. When you got back to school, it was like the whole time you spent together was a dream. He didn’t approach you, at all. 

And it hurt, because this whole time you thought it was a step forward to building something with him. Anything with him. But you’re proven wrong. You wanted to talk to him, ask him why he wouldn’t talk to you. But you didn’t feel like you were in the position to question his motives. It wasn’t like you could talk to anyone about how inwardly frustrated this made you feel. He was his own person, and nothing during that week together established that he needed to keep in contact with you at all. You were still hopeful though. So seeing him walk along the hallways with his friends, and have him walk past you. Made you feel empty. You wanted to understand him, figure it all out. His friends still kept in contact with you, but they rarely spoke about Haechan. Your mind just wondered why he didn’t keep in contact the same.  Scenarios of: Maybe If I was more obvious with my feelings, would he have spoken to me? Did I do something wrong? All those nights, where you’d catch him taking another energy drink from the fridge at midnight while he was playing his computer games, for him to stop and have long conversations with you, were all empty to him. You were just the main company he had around. You had no reason feeling this way, but yet you feel some sort of betrayal. Days went by where you’d go to sleep thinking about Haechan more often than not, trying to figure out a way to talk to him. Thinking about the way he’d tell you jokes in the morning to wake you up with smiles, as you ate breakfast together. How he sometimes would shout at his laptop as he games at one in the morning. Times where he’d feel lonely and want to play in the living room so you could watch and cheer him on. Others just, because it felt nice being in each others presence even when you weren’t doing anything. 

You really missed the sound of his voice. Maybe this was another reason to try stop this feeling you have toward Haechan. Even after all these years, you still couldn’t connect to him even if it felt almost effortless when you were alone in his presence. 

It’s been three weeks since Haechan left your house. You heard something about the Lee Family coming over for dinner tonight, a part of you wondered if Haechan would join. Feeling not so surprised that he didn’t show up. His parents gave the excuse he had other things going on, so he had to make a rain check. After the business trip, it seemed your family and his enjoyed each others company even more so than before. You thought it was nice that your parents also had friends they could invite home more regularly. But your mind still seemed to drift off about Haechan as you played with your food at the dinner table. You kind of just, expected things to follow this pattern after the first week of him not trying. So you tried your best to let it go, by finding other things to preoccupy your mind. It was working so far, but it was hard doing so when you were sharing a meal with his parents and he falls in as the subject of the conversation. Ending the meal, you helped clean up afterwards, before making your way to your room. Jogging up the stairs towards your room, you switch on the light in your bedroom to be welcomed with a notification. Your phone lighting up by your table dresser with a *ding* , you walk towards it and see several messages from your bestfriend. 

Missed call (1)

[8:09pm] bestie: pick up ur phone!! 

[8:09pm] bestie: you’ll never guess who asked to meet up !!!!! 

[8:10pm] bestie: hello..!!!! r u here?? 

[8:15pm] bestie: omg slowpoke.!! it was haechan 

[8:15pm] bestie: msg me when you get this x 

You literally feel weak, mindlessly walking backwards to sit at the edge of your unmade bed. Your thumbs barely touching the screen as you re-read the messages over again to ensure you weren’t hallucinating. Your bestfriend was the raincheck he needed to take to skip out on having dinner with you? You choke back on small tears, you feel stupid. You almost laugh at the fact that he was able to be in contact with her rather than you. It bothered you a lot more than it should considering how you’ve been left out in the dark. But still, it affected you just as much. The constant questions of ‘why?’ Being hung on a thin thread. It was so clear now, he didn’t like you or have intentions of doing so. Platonic or not. Your back falls onto your comforter, a dramatic sigh leaves your lips as you stare at your glow in the dark sticker stars on the ceiling. You decided you wanted the final answer to come from him. You couldn’t deal with the distant gazes you noticed that he’d give you in class sometimes, without him coming to talk to you. The way he would walk and smile around like you were nothing but a classmate. You were so foolish to actually find him as a friend, from all the moments you shared together during that week. Even before. Dumbfound you tap your head with your hand palm flat, groaning inwards. You were going to find him, and ask him. 

It takes you an hour of prep-talking to yourself about the pro’s and con’s about going to find him at this hour of the day. Not knowing where he is, what he’s doing. But the feeling was eating you alive, to the point where you couldn’t properly think. Your mind blank, as you swipe your phone unlocked. You search for his name in your contacts, eyes tight shut as you press the call button. Your hand on your heart trying to calm the nerves, while the other hand held the phone by your ear. You pace around your room, listening to the phone ring a few times. 

He actually answers. 

You then realise how much you really did miss the honey like tone of his voice as he speaks, “Hello?”. You stop your walking, taking the phone away from your ear to double check you’ve actually called him. “Hello…?” He calls again, whining a little impatiently. You cough up courage and say, “Hey.” You give yourself a questioning look, hearing nothing else on the other end of the phone, partly also because of your bluntness. “I wanted to call you, I think we need to talk,” You continue. You hear a small sigh, and shuffling. Sounding like he’s fixing his position. There’s silence in the call, a few moments before he replies you with, “I agree, can you meet me?” You feel shocked because his words were so quick to decide. “Okay,” you reply, looking around your room. “Now?” You question. He laughs lightly over the phone, hearing how frantic you sound. “Yeah, why not? I’ll pick you up in a few.” He confirms with you, before you could say anything else, he hangs up. You were in disbelief, you rush to put a cardigan on and grab your keys and phone. You decided it was easier for you to leave and wait outside, his parents were still downstairs. You jog down the stairs and shout. “I’ll be home in a bit!” Before anyone could reply, you slip out the door. 

The cold air meets you as you stand outside your house. You didn’t really know how you felt. It didn’t take as long as you thought before Haechan pulls up and climbs out the cab. There he was walking towards you, dreamy as ever. And all your pent up anger and questions disappeared with each step he took in your direction. The way he smiled upon seeing you reset everything, and you’re weak in the knees. Once he got close enough to you, you swore that being with him felt right. 

“Let’s go for a walk,” You suggest, quick at the balls of your feel to turn left towards the park. Street lights marking the way, as you felt him walk next to you. It was silent at the beginning of the walk. The sound of your footsteps and the cars driving by was all you could hear besides you heart. “Your parents are at my house,” You explain, hoping to break the ice. You hide your palms under your sleeves, as he laughs inwardly, “I know…” You furrow your eyebrows as he follows your steps. 

“Why didn’t you join?” A part of you knew already, thanks to your bestfriend telling you so, but another part wanted you to hear about it from him. You chew on your lip before looking up to him, he looked a bit sad. You didn’t notice until now, he felt a bit sluggish. Shoulders lower than usual and so you stopped walking. By now you’ve arrived the end of the street, you mindlessly reached out for his hands. You hold both your hands together shocking the both of you. He’s quick to look at you, obvious confusion at your actions, but grateful nonetheless. “Are you okay?” You speak softly, trying to coax him into telling you everything. He sighs at your words, “You’re really nice and gentle to me,” He confesses, and it takes you aback. “Thank you,” you whisper trying to understand.

“I wanna apologise for being a dick and not talking to you these past few weeks,” He genuinely feels sorry, and your heart softens at his confession. The glow the streetlight gave above him made him look sympathetic, his cheeks kinda rosy due to the cool air. His hands move from you holding his hands, to the other way around. Hands over yours, “I just wanted to understand my feelings,” You raise your eyebrows at him, “Feelings…?” repeating his words, mind spiralling out all of the possibilities behind his words. Maybe about your bestfriend, because he met her earlier. You let go of the grasp he had with your hands, easily letting it fall to your sides. His hands follow but you don’t notice as he looked even more distraught. “About you.” He finishes his sentence, you don’t believe him though. Your arms crossing over your chest, eyes narrowed at him. His lips are jutted out a little, eyes slightly closed wanting you to read his thoughts. But then again, he always struggled to get the right words across to you. He’s tried for years, but you never seemed to get a clue. You were always off gazing at clouds, and walking with your head down. His week spent with you, alone, solidified his feelings. They never left, he’s always been interested in you. And getting to know you really intensified it all, he was going crazy about you. But on the night he was going to confess to you, you brought up your bestfriend. “What about me?” You ask, not being able to understand him at all, or where it was all coming from. He doesn’t answer you though, his hand goes towards the side of your face to gently caress it. His hands were soft too, the way his fingertips traced your cheek made you flustered. “I like you,” He confesses enernestly. But you scoff at his words, moving your face away from his touch. But he just lets you figure it out yourself, and believe him. Watching the way your facial features would relax under his silence. “But my bestfriend?” You question, still having doubts. He just shakes his head, running one of his hands to push his hair back. It’s grown longer, his hair. And you don’t let it go unnoticed. “I did meet her today, but only because I wanted to ask about you,” His hair falls infront of his face again, eyes still casted over with truth, and you start to believe him. “I wanted to ask her how you were, and if you felt anything for me,” He speaks before knitting his brows together, “I know that was stupid, and I could have asked you but… I- I dont know, I couldn’t face you.” He went off rambling. He was true to his words, and you couldn’t help but giggle at his rambling.

 He finishes his sentences with, “I like you,” confessed again, but with more confidence. “And I know about your bestfriend, blah-blah I don’t really care. She told me she thinks you like me too,” Now that had your full attention, she knew all along. “She told me it takes a while for you to get out your shell… and I’m really going to try my best with you. I have it all figured out, I just need you to let me?” He asks, feelings unwavering as he smiles slightly at your expression, your eyes twinkling under the moonlight, and the streetlight making a soft glow on your face. He curses to himself about how cute you looked in your clothes. “I like you a lot, Haechan.” You smile back at him. He’s quick to wrap you in his arms to hold you close and spin you around once. You cling onto him, arms around his neck as he stops. Your faces inches away from each other. His hold on you softens, as you slide down his embrace, eyes locked. Your feet reaching the ground as you both hold that close proximity between you. His arms never leave your waist.

“I know you said, you’ve never been kissed,” He whispers, lips inches away from yours. And you roll your eyes at what he says, about to pull away from his embrace before he firmly holds you back, “Can I be your first?”. 

You nod slowly before watching him lower his head, lips just about grazing yours. You watch him flutter his eyes closed as you mirror him. Haechan really kisses you. A simple kiss, filled with much more love than you would have thought, the way it was so gentle. You couldn’t wrap your mind around it, as butterflies lifted you to cloud nine. He pulls away, before recapturing your lips between his. With more intent and deeper, your hands finding purchase in his hair pulling him close. His lips were so soft, and he really kisses you like everything he said was true. And for once, you let yourself decide. Maybe you can be in love with Haechan, and he kisses you with 100 reasons why. 

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ IWAIZUMI HAJIME BEING A DAD HEADCANONS! ❞

✎ . . . Herrroooo! 👋🏽 May I request a Baby daddy head canon (The “as dads” head canons lol) please? For Iwaizumi and Nishinoya please and thank you 💞 Love your writing too!!!

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

✎ . . . jae idk whether anyone has requested this but is it okay if i request for some iwaizumi and ushi dad HCs 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ur HCs make me SO soft and tbh i just wanna live in ur imaginations 😢💞

❝ ― submitted by @b0kuto <3 ❞

✎ . . . since you did oikawa as a dad, what about my boyfie iwachann?? and maybe how their kids will interact with each other, thank you if you ever consider💛

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ iwaizumi hajime <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA VERSION. ] [ BOKUTO KOUTARO VERSION. ] [ MIYA ATSUMU VERSION. ] [ KUROO TETSUROU & KOZUME KENMA HEADCANONS. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . happy 900 followers and happy birthday lizzie !! @kaidasen , i have two other iwaizumi hcs in my inbox and one being another dad req but not just general hcs and phew i'm tired

IWAIZUMI HAJIME.

➜ i'm not a s*mp but,,,

➜ i would glady offer him my hand in marraige

➜ you two weren't quick to settle down, since the both of you have been busy with your own jobs especially then, trying to survive a comitted long-distance relationship

➜ but now that it has been almost a year since you two got married, hajime knew he wanted to start a family with you

➜ and when i tell you that if MANS EVER EVEN THOUGHT of having children WITH YOU, you're in it for a long long run my love

➜ listen ─ iwa is a rational and decisive man, stubborn too, but overall thinks first before bringing these types lf serious stuff with you

➜ knowing that once you agree, mans will not be able to hold back anymore

➜ it was quite funny actually, since it has been a running joke between you two with your baby fever phase in high school that you soon grew out of when you attended collage.

➜ iwa used to relentlessly tease tf out of you but even then, he couldn't help but be the one that you want to have a child with

➜ now all the left over pride he has vanished away while he looks like a CLOWN as he nervously asked you about starting a family with him

➜ emodiment of👉👈😳🥺

➜ because now it was YOUR turn to tease tf out of him, payback bitch

➜ iwa : what if we . . start a family?? 😳👉👈 haha i'm joking . . . unless??

➜ you : it's funny how bitches turned into my fans💅💸

“ wow how the turn tables ”

“ baby girl, i don't think that's how it ─ ”

“ ─ aha simp ”

➜ but regardless, you immediately agreed to his offer and you BET that iwa would give you payback for all the teasing you have done in the bedroom

➜ ok bet fill me up to the brim sir

➜ okay um chile ,, i have to keep reminding of myself that this is a family friendly show

➜ he may be a little busy with work sometimes, but he'll always try to have time to go with you on your baby check ups and appointments which, he, actually booked the second you told him you were pregnant

➜ but whenever he doesn't, he would always be a lot more affectionate whenever he goes home to see you and would hear how you talk about updates from the doctor as he just RUBS YOUR TUMMY as he apologizes for not coming with you😭

➜ when you gave birth to a beautiful hanako, iwa couldn't help but cry because wow??YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL AND HE IS SO PROUD TO HAVE YOU AS HIS WIFE, AND YOU GAVE HIM THIS LOVELY MASTERPIECE OKAY AIGHT

➜ hajime didn't really care about gender now, but before he actually wanted a son, but as i said now, all his mind was just about you and your daughter ─ his precious girls

➜ besides, he has all the time in the world to make a son with you or two

➜ hanako, no matter how sweet she could be ─ she is lowkey a little shit too

➜ prefers hajime over you but would LOVE to rile him up and make it seem that she prefers you over him

➜ he would be a strict father, but such a softie for his daughter that he forgets why he even was mad when your daughter pulls up with THE TRUMP CARD with the same puppy eyes you always used on him

➜ like mans was already a goner but aight

➜ gets FLUSTERED AND EMBARESSED whenever hanako wants him to play with her with her dolls and he also has to act out with her lmao, but we all know she was doing it on purpose

➜ your daughter is a   s a d i s t

➜ makes her dad watch all the OLD barbie movies because she doesn't👏like👏the👏new👏ones👏

➜ periodt 😡💅

➜ has grown to LOVE the thought of being a princess AND HAJIME CALLS HER PRINCESS ALL THE TIME AHH

“ but daddy i'm a princess !! of course i need a prince ” hanako pouted as iwaizumi's tick mark just grew with the thought of his daughter having another boy in her life other than him ( and oikawa & perhaps future brothers😳 )

“ why would you need a prince when you already have your knight in shinning armor here, ” he gestured vigorously to himself with his hands moving up and down from his head to toe

“ oh yeah! i guess i'm okay with that ” your daughter giggled before calling out to you as she saw you coming into her line of sight, reaching her hands out for you to carry her

➜ and by the time you have her in your arms, she would always nuzzle her little head onto your neck, but this time, before he could, she looked back at her father ─ but this time with a mischievous glint

“ ─ for now ” she smiled cheekily before tugging you to head over to kitchen because one, she wants to get away from her father's intense aura emitting from him, and two, she was hungry

➜ as you can see, bb girl loves to rile up her father, but as i said, iwa could never stay mad for too long

➜ would, yes, kinda yell at his kids, but would NEVER EVER hit them

➜ would kinda BONK🔨💥 them but not the childhood traumatizing methods

➜ he has strong beliefs that hitting children are a no-go, because it would probably affect them in the future, and there are other, better and appropriate ways to handle them without leaving them in child trauma

➜ since argentina is close to california where you and iwa have settled down, you bet that oikawa BEGGED them to have a small little reunion atleast every other three months LMAO

➜ and when you gave birth to your son, hayato, oikawa's offer did not STOP, and when oikawa finally had the time to visit you guys with his family ─ it was chaotic.

➜ first of, hanako is so mean to oikawa for some reason but she also kinda likes him too?? 😭

➜ oikawa : that's so upsettin😔

➜ then moves to hayato because unLIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE, hayato being the precious bb boy he is, accepted all the love oikawa would give him

“ hana-chan, yahoo !! ” before uncle tooru could engulf hanako as he ran up to her with arms open wide, she avoided his figure as he went pass her and hit himself on a lampost

➜ with a blank stare, she crouched to his cowering figure as he rubbed the spot on his head that hit the post while whining, poking his side in curiousity.

“ uncle, are you alright ─ ”

“ ─ oi, shittykawa what are you doing ─ ”

➜ as you and your husband along with oikawa's wife and kids, run up to where the two duo were crouching, your toddler son tilted his head innocently

“ shittykawa . . . ? ”

➜ usually these reunion day would always end in traditional family dinner with the iwaizumis and the oikawas ─ and after that, their offsprings just couldn't get away from each other when it's time to go 🥺

“ i don't want them to leave :( ” hayato pouted as he wouldn't let go of his little tug on akiro's sweater

“ hana-chan !! ” hikaru clung onto hanako as hanako quietly glared at him, trying to shake him off while she shyly held onto akio as aiko starts scolding her little brother

➜ also side note : you bet that they would come back to japan just to attend aobajohsai

➜ anywh0res😍

➜ iwaizumi is the type of dad that would give EQUAL amounts of love to his children, would never have favouritism with his children because that shit actually hurts ngl😔

➜ would arm wRESTLE with hayato but he doesn't wanna hurt him so he would always let him win though it may cost his pride

➜ someone thirst with me about his arms please😭😭

➜ when he's soft'ish

➜ it was near father's day and you have been planning for it along with your children but you guys were anything BUT LOWKEY

➜ iwaizumi could literally hear giggling in one of the rooms and he goes to check it out and sees nodding vigorously at hayato.

➜ wanting to join in the fun, he opened the door and leaned onto the door frame expecting for you to call for him to join you guys

➜ but to his suprised, you guys stayed unusually quiet while your two kids avoided eye contact with him

➜ iwaizumi was upset being left out, but didn't really comment on it. but as father's day rolls in with your two kids waking him up as he goes down to the kitchen to see his favourite breakfast along with some cards from hanako and hayato, and with you smiling warmly at him as you took off your apron before kissing him a goodmorning in his cheeks ─ he knew it was worth it, whatever you guys were planning

“ ew, mommy kissed dada!! ” shrieked by your children as hajime stuck a tongue at them as he grinned at you, lovesick, before he could get to steal kiss on your lips, you pushed his head to look at the opposite side

“ brush your teeth first, and THEN, i will think about kissing you ”

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Eduardo Dorado Jr. with an s/o who is a Scientist

amateurwriterbigdreamer said: Could I request Eduardo dorado jr with a university student who is a metahuman and a scientist so she gets along with his father causing Eduardo dorado jr to feel left out?

You were interning at S.T.A.R. labs

That’s how you met Eduardo

You were a couple years older and an incredibly intelligent, beautiful woman

It was no surprise that Eduardo developed a huge crush on you

At a young age, he thought he was handling it well but, on your side, it was painfully obvious

He would get super blushy and embarrassed and still try to flirt with you

Which was kind of adorable

Because he was no nervous, he would end up messing up his lines

“Um, did it hurt?”

“What?”

“Did it hurt when you became an angel?”

“.... Do you mean ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven’?”

“Because you look like an angel!! Thank you!!”

“Sure.”

You indulged him of course because you just couldn’t bear to break his little heart

But you never ever returned his flirting

You just listened to them

One of the reasons that you never shot him down was because his father told you not to

Ed was always more compliable and cooperative during routine checks

He tried to impress you and didn’t lose his temper as quickly as he used to

And that helped with the experiment, which you were hired to do so you agreed

And however pathetic it may sound, you felt special that someone was so infatuated with you

He would hover around you, asking questions about what you’re doing even though he’d never understand what when you did explain to him

He’d still offer his opinion though even though it wasn’t really appropriate

“I think you look really hot next to that thing, babe.”

“It’s a particle collider, Ed. And don’t call me babe.”

“Noted.”

He’d get really jealous too when you would hang out with his father because at the time, he wasn’t on good terms with him

He’d get huffy and upset

“Ed, your father is my boss, I kind of have to.”

“I know...”

Your relationship just remained that way because you knew nothing would ever come from it

He was way too young for you and it was creepy

And even though you were expecting a confession from him, when you finally received it you were incredibly surprised

“I like you, (Y/N), will you please be my girlfriend?”

You really didn’t want to shoot him down because he would never forget it

“Um, you know I’m too old for you, Ed. It’s not right.”

“Age is just a number.”

“So is 911.”

He looked so disappointed; you just couldn’t find it in your heart to leave him then

So, you just ruffled his hair and said

“Tell you what, you ask me again when you’re a few inches taller than me and I promise I will think about it.”

He sent you such a blinding grin you thought a little fib was worth it

Besides, when he actually got to the height, he would totally forget about this

At least that’s what you thought

You saw him for the last time when he was escaping

You were on the phone with his father, looking around for the Runaways

And you did find them

You just stared at Ed for the longest time as he silently pleaded for you not to say anything

“Yeah, I’m here, no, they’re, they’re nowhere to be found.”

He gave you a huge hug and you ruffled his hair again

“Be safe, okay?”

“I promise I’ll come back and ask you when I’m taller.”

“Haha, I’ll hold you do it.”

You don’t see him again for a couple years, you were sent to another country to intern

But you returned after learning something very important

You were a meta

The first person you thought to contact was Ed Sr. because he had the most experience with this

That was when you met Ed again

And oh boy

Puberty was extremely kind to him, and you felt extremely disgusted with yourself when you couldn’t seem to get your eyes off him

“It’s good to see you again.”

“You too.”

“So, am I tall enough for you yet?”

“Kind of sudden don’t you think?”

“I don’t think so, I’ve been waiting 4 years.”

You couldn’t really tell if he was being serious or joking but you chose to ignore it

You just couldn’t get past the fact that he used to be so tiny

You couldn’t stop seeing him that way

To no one’s surprise, you still hover around the labs

You help the justice league by performing DNA fingerprinting and such

As always, Ed still helps you around

He’s become more mature than you realize

Earlier he always used to flirt with you and it sometimes seemed like his life revolved around you

But now it was different

You could speak like equals now

It made you realize how much you would just brush him off as a kid

Everything he used to think and say at the time was just something that he’d grow out of

Now you’re realizing that he’s much more profound and intelligent that you gave him credit for

It makes you see him in a different light

Then you begin to feel all awkward and embarrassed around him

And extremely annoyed with yourself that you like a kid

So, you begin to avoid him until these feelings go away

But Ed quickly corners you and asks you why

“I just, I’ve been having feelings for you lately.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“You’re just a kid, Ed.”

“I’m not a kid anymore...I’ve grown up now.”

“I still see you that way though, and it’s embarrassing and weird that I’ve begun to have feelings for you now.”

“Well instead of making yourself feel guilty, you should try and look at me differently.”

He waits until you’re ready

Extremely patient and it makes you fall even more to be honest

Since him being taller that you was basically what started this whole thing

You better believe he is making some short jokes

“How’s the weather down there?”

Uses your head as an arm rest

Sometimes pretends not to see you

But also uses your shorter self to an advantage

Corners you against the wall

Towers over you many times

Does that thing when you’re reaching from something, he just comes behind you and then you’re all close and warm

He still spends time with you in the lab

Until he’s caught making out with you on the table and then gets banned

He also helps you train and get control of your powers

Makes out with you on the training mats too

He gets insecure that you may still think of him as a kid

How does he get rid of those fears?

By kissing you until you can’t feel your legs

And therefore, everyone finds you making out most of the time

He loves that you’re so intelligent

Like loves it

So much so that he actually brags about it

Also talks about you a lot to his friends who are not impressed

“You know, (Y/N) said this the other day.”

“She would look so good in that.”

“She loves to eat that.”

“Maybe I should bring something home for her?”

“We get it, you have a girlfriend!”

People would expect you to mother him and you do most of the times

But Ed also takes care of you a lot

You get stressed and sometimes extremely overwhelmed because your career is just as important to you as your abilities

Ed is the one who keeps track of your self-care

Also fusses around you like his abuela when you’re not taking care of yourself

He also feels extremely comforted by the fact that you’re older than him because he knows whenever he needs advice, he can go to you

Because you’re more experienced and a lot smarter than him

He never makes you feel the age gap though

And when people make jokes about it, even though they meant for it to be harmless, Ed is there just looking like they might as well have shot you

All in all, regardless of age, he is a great boyfriend