#though there was one episode of the series that actually still terrifies me but I only remember one scene from it

[pinktwinkiezoppo]

Have you ever watched a show called

My babysitters a vampire

Yes, I have! That was one of the shows I watched growing up and it was kinda scary for me but I did like it. Its still a little unnerving to watch now (mainly the concept of those things actually happening is what freaks me out) but the weird CGI makes it look silly so its fine

Though I remember more from the movie than the actual series (I even remember seeing the movie trailer for the first time!) the series was still pretty alright. The whole series in general is pretty ok, though some scenes were a bit….sexual but I just ignored those parts (I was too young to understand anyway)

I actually watch clips from the movie sometimes because I genuinely like it

[anonymouscheeses]

Obvious shit I noticed part 3 (spoilers for welcome to heaven)

Look at her! "Teehee"

Also she's nervous! Foreshadowing omg 🤯

STICKERS! Two pride stickers and a cute donut. Gives me an idea to draw Chaggie at a donut shop while everything is burning down <3 (I'll probably do it but if any artist wants to as well go ahead!)

*CHOKES ON COFFEE* I LOVE THEM. I'M SORRY I GET SO GIDDY WHEN THEY HAVE EVEN THE SMALLEST INTERACTION BUT UGHHH I NEED MORE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH 🙏🙏

KISSY! MWA! *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*

Vivzie give me more, moar now. MOAR

DAMN. SHE CAN THROW- or maybe it just exaggerates the perspective in this frame but still- ZAMNNN

Cherri x Sir Pentious fans RISE UP.

I wasn't ever really a fan of it myself but I always thought it was CUTE. Like 3 seconds before this part I was already begging for them to kiss 😭

More foreshadowing!

AAAAAA CREEPY BIRD THINGS!!!

Oh wait- Sera's hot and Emily's already adorable

If heaven don't look like what this is in the show, I DONT WANT IT! (THATS A JOKE PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME)

JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND VAGGIE!! Can I just say how much I love Vaggie's face expressions? Not just here but like all the time. She's just made to be so exaggerated, out of all of them I thought it would be Charlie who would have the most dramatic faces but Vaggie wins it for me. I JUST GIGGLE SO HARD WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS BAHAHAH

Okay yeah. It's very obvious now. Vaggie is definitely an ex-exterminator. They don't close in on Charlie here so it's made to subtly nudge the attention to Vaggie. HOW DID THEY IMMEDIATELY NOTICE IT WAS HER THO??

Hot-

That's it.

SHARE THAT MOTHUSSY GIRL-

YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE GREW OUT ALL OF THAT HAIR?!? YEAH ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THEN BUT STILL AJJSJD.

But overall the design is pretty meh. I always loved the idea of short hair Vaggie and even have seen art of it but it's just yknow, alright. Reminds me of Cassandra from Tangled: the series. IM LISTENING TO ONE OF THE SONGS RIGHT NOW HELPPP

THIS SCENE HERE! WOOOOO! SO GLAD WE KNOW WHEN AND WHERE THEY FIRST MET!! Wish we got it extended tho. And also probably push it to next episode so it would have a better impact(atleast I think thats when they'll have the duet). BUT WHATEVER SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING! or uh whatever

Vaggie must've been a bit terrified at first. The only sinner she ever sent mercy to was a child. Then to see someone who to her is an adult sinner who just looks really human, that must be crazy. BUT THEN IF SHE WAS TOLD THAT CHARLIE WAS ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS OF HELL? HOOOO, LOCK IN AND STEAL HER. THAT'S SOME WATTPAD SHIT. Also, I wonder how long Charlie thought of redeeming sinners. It would make sense to be after meeting Vaggie, since it could have been a wake up call to the fact not all sinners are bad people. Even though Vaggie isn't a sinner technically, Charlie didn't know that at the time. But maybe Charlie was always like this but just needed to meet someone who could start her dream with her. Long rant uhhh

Haha penis 🫵

SCRAP WHATEVER I SAID IN THE FIRST PART. THEY PROBABLY DO FUCK- OR DONT?? I DONT KNOW- ANYWAY LESBIAN SEX (BOTTOM TEXT). WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? SOMEONE PULL THE TRIGGER.

Lute looks like a basic asf anime gorl. Adam doesn't ever take his helmet off, or maybe he just can't. OH HE'S DOING THE GAY SIGN 💅💅 Very appropriate for what he's saying

Mentor, apprentice. I love that Husk is just trying to help Angel grow but isn't going to force him into it if he doesn't want to.

Im not a fan of huskerdust and think they'd be better friends as I can't imagine a relationship with them at all. But it's still nice and they are supportive of eachother so that's like- yknow. Basic rules. Or something like that. (HELP. I ruined it all at the last part)

I- girl- WHY IS SHE GROWLING?? GRR GRR RR (INSERT TWILIGHT SAGA HERE)

VAGGIE'S FACE. SENDS ME. WHO GAVE HER THESE OVERDRAMATIC EXPRESSIONS, I APPLAUD YOU RGAGAGA

Ooo... I didnt like this part at all... Instead of making the choice she just runs off. Then because the plot demands it, Adam says nothing. Kinda whish she atleast avoided the question, maybe in some way that would require actual thinking? For a character like Vaggie, she could choose either way and it feel like it's still her. If she chose to protect Charlie's dream, she would still be perfectly loyal to her but in the act of so would reveal a secret that could harm their relationship(which does happen at the end but that's because the plot wanted it like that). If she chose to side with Adam, she'd be hurting Charlie emotionally, sure, but it would keep a secret that could make Charlie see Vaggie less than who she is to her already(atleast what Vaggie might think would happen). Imo it should've been her deciding to protect Charlie, since it would mean she's devoted to her at all times.

ANOTHER THING! IF SHE COULDN'T MAKE THE CHOICE, THAT IS SOMETHING INTERESTING TO GO INTO. Maybe it could go deeper into how Vaggie doesn't know who she is without Charlie. So when she has a choice to make, like here, she can't do it without feeling the need to ask Charlie. BUT NOOO, YA HAD TO GO WITH THIS!! Wow. That was a long ass rant. Wtf 😭

Maybe I'm a dumbass. Maybe they'll talk about that next episode, but still, atleast touch on it a bit to not seem rushed?

Angel looking out for his kids like a mom. We always did need the motherly figure, the one closest to that being Charlie but girl needs a mother in her life too(damn, wait, I did her so dirty).

Huh, so why does it work here then? 🤨🤨 if it was said in the contract that Valentino can do whatever he wants only in the studio, then why is this the exception? 🤨🤨

Yes I'm stupid. Why do you ask? (No genuinely what's happening here)

OH ITS THE IMAGE! I really like Sera so far, hope we get more of her soon or in season 2.

Now that we know the context of this, yeah, that's fucking insane. And badass. WOMEN.

HMM. THATS STRANGE. DID YOU NOT FOR ONCE THINK THERE COULD BE A POSSIBILITY SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ANGEL? Okay I probably wouldn't either but I have an excuse, I'm an idiot. Some girl with a standing out outfit, with one eye, looks unusually human, right after/during the extermination... that's pretty solid ass proof. But I'm dumb so don't take anything i say seriously :D

Imagine this. No- shit. Just-

JUST LOOK! THEY ARE SO CUTE! EVEN THOUGH CRAZY SHIT IS HAPPENING.

*SWEATS*

Vaggie is DESPERATE. PLEADING. That's obvious yeah, but don't mind me I had nothing to say for the last 3 images I just thought they were cool

I mean. Slay I guess. 😍💅

Do all the exterminators look similar or is it just Lute and Vaggie? 🤨

Even though Vaggie and Charlie may be going through this horrible thing with a hard punch in the gut, but Vaggie is always going to comfort her and I just think that's so adorable.

Also Adam looks like a chicken hah.

Everyone fears to be like Lucifer. If they don't do bad things they believe are for the greater good and make sacrifices that put them higher than those in hell, they could themselves be fallen. It's really interesting but I don't know if it's going to be fleshed out enough with the amount of episodes left. Which also worries me about everything else that still hasn't be concluded. There's gonna be loose strings I just know it. Hopefully though they rather do that then rush everything out y'know?

I want the next episode to be mostly focused on Vaggie and Charlie's relationship and the healing of what happened. Not for the entire episode of course, it would feel drawn out if it did, but atleast address the problem for the first like I would say 10 minutes? Then the rest would focus on one or two loose threads while also having Vaggie and Charlie acting upon moving on. That's just my idea but yeah-

[autumnmobile12]

7 Ways to Introduce the Villain.

1. The Shadow

A lot of series go with the classic 'ominous shadowy figure in the background.' Here's Silco in Arcane. Sinister voice, sinister dude, sinister intent. Boom, you have your villain.

2. The Slow Reveal

Other variations of the 'shadowy figure' in which the series draws out the reveal of the villain. Avatar: The Last Airbender doesn't reveal the Firelord until the final season, but his presence is felt throughout the series. He's always this looming threat whose will is carried out by his underlings. (General Zhao, Azula, etc.)

3. The Fabulous Entrance!

Okay, so we do hear Ragyo on the phone a couple times before they actually show her face, but goddamn, this entrance. It is impressive and terrifying and, it perfectly suits the utter psycho that she is.

There is no normal expression this woman makes when she's 'happy.' She's always smug or angry or annoyed, but this face with her staring, manic eyes and smile still haunts me. Send help.

4. The Sudden Entrance

Shigaraki kinda comes out of nowhere in My Hero Academia. For the first few episodes, its all lighthearted and fun and dealing with Bakugo's BS and then the class heads off on a field trip and suddenly,

"Oh, shit! Plot is happening!"

This series started off with kids learning to be heroes, and now its tragedy and social upheaval and people's lives are in danger.

5. The Incognito Entrance

This is when some random nonthreatening dude/lady just kinda sidles into the plot the be the butt of a joke and later turns out to have been one of the villains.

This scene was so weird. Tyki is just minding his own business, scamming people at cards. Then Allen and Lavi show up looking for their friend (the guy currently being scammed), and even though he recognizes them as exorcists and his enemies, Tyki has to sit there and play it off like he doesn't know jack cause if he does anything, he's gonna blow his cover in front of his human buddies. And then he suffers the indignation of being stripped in a poker game in broad daylight because the main protagonist is absolutely evil with a card deck. And then he just walks away from this like it's a totally normal thing, not even really taking vengeance for it. (He went after Allen, sure, but that was more of a job than any personal vendetta.) He's not the main villain, but I couldn't resist pointing out how bizarre this is.

For those who haven't seen D. Gray Man, the guy in the center is one of the main antagonists, and though this is technically the second time you see him, the first encounter was so short it was practically a cameo and he was a Victorian-era, Dorian Gray dandy gentleman, not this hobo riding a train.

6. The Traitor

Since the Undertaker was more of a neutral party in Black Butler, I don't think he really counts as a traitor. Still, I don't think too many of us were suspecting the morbid jokester Grim Reaper was going to turn out to be a major antagonist later on.

7. The Protagonist

And sometimes the protagonist is the villain!

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[gffa]

One of the benefits of speed running the entire Rebels series over the course of four days (or at least I'm trying to) is that the arcs of things stand out to me a lot better than when I watched it week to week, especially the way the show handled Ezra's struggle with the dark side. The first time around, it felt like it came up out of nowhere and then was gone just as fast! While I appreciated the content of it and it provided a lot of good analysis fodder, it still felt very fast to me. This time around, though, I'm noticing just how much Ezra has been struggling since the beginning, in a way that feels very natural to someone of his age struggling through becoming an adult, struggling through finding his path in life, struggling through living on a war-torn world and joining a rebellion against an evil Empire, and struggling through learning to be a psychic space wizard whose powers work based on your emotions. All the way back in season one, Ezra was afraid, he was terrified of learning what happened to his parents, he was so angry when he saw Tseebo again, he was so afraid of being honest with himself that he caused the Fyrnocks to attack the Grand Inquisitor on Fort Anaxes. He was still struggling to deal with the loss of his parents in season two when he met Ryder Azadi who knew about them. Even all throughout season three, once he gets a better grip on himself, he still struggles with loving this new family of his and learning to trust them--it's so hard for him to let Sabine go on a dangerous mission on her own because he wants to protect her, to the point Kanan has to talk to him and remind him that being a Jedi means you have to trust people and learn to let them go. He struggles with having Maul in his head. He struggles with his guilt about getting Kanan blinded. Season four will also ultimately deal with Ezra struggling to let go of the chance to bring back his parents, because some part of him still desperately doesn't want to live without them. He's going to struggle with Kanan's death and letting him go, rather than wrecking time and space to bring him back. All of these things are rooted in fear and the desperation to cling to things and people--the very definitions of attachment when it comes to how the Jedi use it/more along the Buddhist lines of meaning--that I know Ezra will overcome, one step at a time, but it's so much clearer to me that it's threaded throughout the entire show, not just a handful of episodes, that it comes to a head now and again, but it's always there, because that's what a Jedi goes through at that age. It's a struggle every Jedi has to make their way through, and Ezra just has it harder because he doesn't have a community to support him or protect him from those who would kill him just for the way he was born. But it's a consistent story across all of Rebels that's actually really well told and being able to watch the episodes so close together really highlights that.

[livingformintyoongi1]

First Time | Kim Taehyung

This is a little drabble of the Style series, I wanted to write about this series and this came out lol, I hope you like it. Warnings: Fluff, slight Smut, Actress!Reader, Tae is an idol, but is taking a break from music and entered acting again, mention of "Daytime Star" (Beautiful webtoon). wc: 3.3k

When Tae offered you to go to his house to practice the dialogues for the later chapters, you didn't hesitate to say yes. He was the man you trusted the most, you adored him; he was sweet, funny, charismatic and very polite. He was exactly what any girl would want in her life. You were completely grateful that he was your co-star in the k-drama "Daytime Star," and even more grateful that he allowed you to practice alongside him.

"Have you read the script for episode 13 yet?" muttered Tae with his eyes fixed on the thick stack of sheets labeled 'Daytime Star | Chapter 13'. 

"Yes!" you smiled as you stood up, with the script tightly clenched in your hands - quite small compared to Tae's - and peeked over to see his, "There's a scene in the kitchen in this one" you looked at your co-worker, friend at this point, and couldn't help but blush at the thought of what you had to do. You didn't think you were strong enough to see Tae shirtless.

He nodded, almost as if it was nothing new. You wondered internally if he had already done something similar with another girl, though that wasn't your problem. "Looks like it," he gave you a tight-lipped smile, leaving the script on the table and resting his full attention on you as he stretched his arms above his head. "I didn't think they'd have any racy scenes, are you sure you can handle that? From what you've told me, you don't have much experience in this area," Tae's cheeks flushed heavily as he watched you shrink in place, looking down at your feet, "I-I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, you're right, I've actually never made a scene like that before" you sighed defeatedly. You hated not being experienced enough to be true to the role you had been given almost by miracle.

"We could talk to the director and ask him to remove that scene and..." said Tae, too quickly for you to interrupt. But you still took his hand, giving him such a soft, sweet smile that he stopped on his own.

"Tae, I really appreciate your concern, but I also don't want to affect the recording. Besides, it's part of my job to accommodate the character, and if Yura needs to make out with Seunghyeon for the advancement of the plot, then I'll have to do it," you couldn't help the blush that grew from your ears to your neck. In your head it sounded better. Much better.

You shrank in place as you felt his lingering gaze on you, had you overstepped your bounds by saying that, or maybe... he didn't want to make that scene?

That idea completely terrified you. You looked at him with fear in your eyes, and before you could apologize in case he's the one who ultimately doesn't want to expose himself that way, his deep voice interrupted you.

"Then let's practice that scene" he muttered, looking around his apartment, as if he was searching for something. "It all starts after Yura makes Seunghyeon a coffee, right?" lightly squeezing your hand, he walked at a slow pace to his kitchen, "I saw a bit of the webtoon, my kitchen looks a bit like it, so we could take advantage of that."

You were dumbfounded. With your mouth wide open in amazement. You'd kissed Tae before, for the show, of course, but to have him kiss you, take off his shirt for you, and lift you up and press you against his kitchen was... too much.

You shook your head, pushing that idea out of your head. You were a professional, and you would take this situation as such. Yeah, you definitely weren't going to think about how bad this would be for your weak heart.

"Okay, so..." he paused for a moment, quickly reading the dialogues before stopping at you, "let's start with the part where Seunghyeon appears from behind Yura and rests his hand against the kitchen, is that okay with you?" he looked up so he could get your approval. You almost got choked up when you saw his eyes. You just nodded quickly, knowing inside that you wouldn't be able to answer him with words.

You took a breath of air, grabbing one of the cups Tae had drying and positioned it in front of you, without letting go of the handle. A few seconds later you felt the warmth of Tae's body behind your back. You ignored the shiver that ran down your back. Your gaze was fixed on the cup, only straying when Tae's hand appeared next to yours, touching the counter with his fingertips.

You closed your eyes, squeezing them shut as you could feel Tae's breath brush against your ear. 

"What about what I said?" he whispered hoarsely, causing your legs to tremble slightly.

You admired his professionalism, and you really needed some of it for the scene.

You turned to look at him, your eyebrows drawn together between your brows, just as the script called for you to do. You couldn't help but think of the difference in height between the two of you. In a firm voice, but without anger or malice, you replied "You're laughing at me, aren't you?".

And for a second you felt your whole body melt at Tae's smitten smile. He was seriously a great actor, you couldn't look at anyone with those eyes so... bright and soft.

You grumbled as you watched his smile grow even bigger at your question. You shook your head and straightened up, turning all your attention back to the cup with coffee -which, right now, was just an empty cup-. "Ugh, you're hopeless, Seunghyeon Kang, you know that?" you muttered with fake anger, and not only because that anger was from a character and not yours, if not because you knew Yura wouldn't say it with malice, not towards the person who loved her the most -after her best friend, of course-.

"What did you call me?" Tae asked mockingly, resting his left hand on the counter, leaving you completely trapped. You were starting to get nervous.

"What?" you turned your whole body towards him, raising your eyebrows, "You want me to call you Seunghyeon Kim instead of...?"

Yeah, you didn't really expect him to kiss you, though it didn't have to surprise you. That kiss was coming out in the scene. You obviously followed the kiss, after all, right now it wasn't you and Taehyung, co-workers, it was Yura and Seunghyeon, a happy acting couple just starting to date.

 You remembered how in the script it appeared that you had to take his shirt and wrinkle it. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but a sleeveless white Celine T-shirt. Unable to hold onto his arms, you brought your hands to his chest, crumpling the fabric near his shoulders. A shiver ran down your back for the second time, but this time, it had every right to appear. Taehyung had moaned against your lips as you felt yourself clinging to his shirt. Your rational side mentally pleaded that he'd only done it for the practice and not for... well, the kiss.

You weren't sure how long you must have been kissing, but you were sure it must not have been that long. You distinctly remembered it appearing as 'a chaste kiss' or something like that, your photographic memory starting to fail for every second that Tae kept moving his sides against yours. You were starting to feel bad for how good you felt.

He pulled away just inches, his dark eyes planted on yours. You swallowed saliva as you watched him run his tongue over his lips. "I need you to open your mouth a little" he murmured.

You tensed all over. You were beginning to question whether this was still part of practice or not. "Y-yes" you whispered, gasping as you felt his hands hold you by your thighs and lift you up to lay you on the counter. This did appear in the script. 

Even with the embarrassment you felt, you parted your lips just slightly, letting out a sigh as Tae approached you at that very moment. Unlike what you thought, his kisses were much more lazy and soft. The way he had pulled you close to him, you thought he would kiss you until you were breathless. Although this wasn't too bad either. 

His right hand went up to linger on the back of your neck, tangling his fingers in your hair at the same time his left hand stopped at your waist and drew little circles on the cream colored vest you were wearing.

With some uncertainty, you brought your hands to the back of his head, drawing him closer to you. Your fingers began to grab small strands and making swirls with them. You sighed as you felt him gasp against your lips as you pulled his hair slightly. This man was going to be the end of you.

"Y/N" he murmured in agitation, resting his forehead against yours. "Can I touch you?"

You choked on your saliva, staring at him with wide eyes. That definitely wasn't in the script. "S-sorry?" your hands began to tremble slightly as you realized what he had said, because he had, in short, said your name.

"Just... you don't need to say yes, it was an impulse and..." As soon as you noticed how he tried to pull away from you, you wrapped your arms around his waist tightly, pulling him to you again.

"No!" you squealed, unsure of what you were doing, "I... I don't have a problem with you doing it" you whispered, unable to look at his face. Suddenly you wanted the earth to swallow you up.

"Oh" Tae smiled brightly, feeling his heart warm with tenderness as he watched you blush and start rambling on about something he hadn't heard. You were talking very softly.

"Honey," he whispered against your forehead, pressing his lips against the skin there. You couldn't see it, but his smitten smile and the slight blush on his cheeks showed he was just as nervous as you were, "if at any point you feel like it's too much, tell me."

You just nodded, closing your eyes tightly as you felt Tae's warm hand rest on your thigh and move up to touch the end of your skirt. His free hand busied itself with gently lifting the vest so he could touch your skin beneath it. He growled softly as he realized you weren't wearing a shirt or anything from the vest.

"You came without a shirt?" he whispered over your shoulder, leaving soft kisses as he moved up your neck and stopped at your ear. 

"I usually wear my vests like that, so I don't get so many clothes dirty" you said between stutters. He barely touched you, they were light, loving touches that you only felt because of his warmth and yet he still left you in that state. It was too embarrassing.

He didn't respond, he seemed to be too busy kissing the skin behind your ear. You removed your hand from Tae's hair and dragged it down to his waist, where his shirt was hidden under his pants. With clumsy and too shy movements - because, even though it wasn't your first time, something about this man made you act 1000 times clumsier than you already were - you pulled his shirt off and slipped your hand inside, enjoying how the touch made his whole body tremble. You didn't know you could have that reaction.

You closed your eyes, letting your hand roam all over his back, caressing every bit of skin your hands could reach.

You weren't sure at what point it happened, but, almost magically, your vest had disappeared and now Tae's lips traveled from your collarbone to your waist, leaving wetter and wetter kisses.

You were thankful he didn't remove your bra, you would be too embarrassed if he saw you completely naked.

"Do you want me to take off my shirt?" he whispered just above where your skirt covered your waist, a little below your belly button. His fully dilated dark eyes stared at you, causing a spasm to make you jump up and down on the counter.

"Y-yes, please" you rested your hands on his shoulders, wondering if you should help him. 

But you didn't need to. He stood up, reminding you how tall he really was. He quickly took off his polo shirt and threw it somewhere in the kitchen. Your mouth went dry almost immediately. He was too beautiful to be real.

His dark, lust-filled gaze deepened as he noticed how you were unable to take your gaze off his body. He approached you at a slow pace, reaching out his hand and taking a lock of your hair so he could kiss it.

"I like your hair" he whispered, letting the lock fall over your bare shoulder. You could only stand still, contemplating every move he made. "And your eyes" he moved closer to your face, resting his lips for a couple of seconds on each of your eyes, "Your nose" you laughed as he kissed the tip of your nose, crinkling it slightly as you pulled away a little, just enough to look into his face, "and definitely your lips" he whispered, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger and moving closer to you so he could kiss you.

Unlike the slow, gentle kisses he had given you at the beginning, this time Tae seemed to be completely out of control. His lips were devouring you as if you were going to disappear at that very moment. No one had ever kissed you like that. It was all teeth clashing and tongues tangling, a couple of soft moans came from his lips every now and then, and you couldn't help but want to touch him.

"Tae" you gasped as soon as he pulled away from you. You needed to have his attention for a second before he launched himself on your lips, and his face screamed all over the place that he would. 

His lustful gaze faded immediately. Now his dark eyes only reflected concern.

"Did I go too far, do you need me to stop?" he stammered nervously, he tried to turn around to reach for your clothes, but you stopped him with your hand.

"It's not that, in fact, I'm quite enjoying it" you confessed with red cheeks and gaze fixed on his lips. They looked a little more swollen and glossy. "It's just...can I touch you?"

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, until Tae laughed softly and cupped your cheeks, kissing you repeatedly.

"God, you're so cute," he said between kisses, with a big smile. You didn't get the funny, "You can touch anything you want, I'm completely yours" he whispered happily, closing his eyes and resting his nose against yours.

"Anything I want?" you looked at him with your eyes sparkling. That was quite an offer, very tempting.

"Absolutely everything" he nodded, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles, his gaze on yours at all times.

You nodded with pursed lips, "you can go about your business" you whispered, bringing your trembling hands to his chest. You felt too nervous, how were you supposed to act when the man in front of you was so stupidly beautiful?

Tae's kisses were getting messier and messier, as were his caresses all over your body - especially your inner thighs. You tried to do the same with him, but you still felt too shy to do so, so you took to caressing his arms and shoulder blades, burying your nails into his skin when the kisses got too wild. You couldn't even remember how you got here.

His fingers began to play teasingly with the zipper of your skirt, making you groan in frustration. He definitely didn't seem to have any intentions of taking it off, and you seriously wanted, needed, it to be out of the way.

"I need you to hold on to me" he whispered, lightly biting the skin of your collarbone, causing a high pitched moan to leave your lips. "I don't want our first time together to be in my kitchen" he growled, grabbing you by the bottom of your thighs and lifting you up with ease.

"What...?" You were confused and too excited to think hard about what he had just said, "Where are you taking me?"

"To my bed" he smiled, kissing your lips softly, continuing his walk. Luckily, he thought, he didn't need to keep his eyes open to get to his room. He knew the way by heart. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, becoming enraptured at the beautiful face he had. You couldn't contain yourself and brought your fingertips to his cheeks, caressing gently. You wanted this man to be completely yours, far beyond the physical. You wanted to be able to wake up next to him, to laugh next to him, to comfort him when he needed a shoulder to cry on. You wanted him to want you the way you wanted him.

Before you knew it, Tae already had you lying on his dark blue sheets. They were soft and cool, but his scent was permeating them, and you adored that.

He put both arms on either side of your face, his deep gaze still sending shivers down your spine. "We don't have to do this if you don't feel ready yet" he whispered, bringing his hand up to your face and caressing your cheek. You closed your eyes as you felt his touch against your skin. It was so warm and electrifying that you wanted more of him. So much more.

"I'm ready," you murmured, stroking his hair. Standing beneath him, with his arms around your head, the nervousness and shyness no longer seemed to affect you. You brought your hands up to touch the hair at the nape of his neck, fiddling with it as you brought your lips to his chest, where you assumed and hoped his heart was. "I trust you, I know you would never hurt me."

You could see Adam's apple rise and fall at your comment, at the same time as his breathing became increasingly ragged.

"You're going to destroy me one of these days" he joked, leaving a soft kiss on your chest, right in the same place you did with him, "But that's okay, I see no better ending than being destroyed by your hands."

At another time you would have laughed at how corny it sounded, but having him half naked, on top of you, with his hair in disarray and breathing heavily didn't help matters.

"Is it okay if I take your skirt off?" he murmured, running his fingers down your body until he stopped at the zipper of your skirt. 

You lifted your hips, barely brushing against his, "Hell, yeah, I was hoping you'd do it sooner" you chuckled, feeling your cheeks heat up.

"Sorry" he smiled broadly. For some reason, you could feel his nervousness, and you loved to think he felt the same way you did.

His fingers caught the zipper of your skirt and greedily pulled it down, pulling them off your legs as soon as he had reached the end. You were still wearing your underwear, but you still felt too exposed... in a good way.

"Are you ready?" he whispered in front of your crotch covered by your panties. Your breath hitched for an instant, but you managed to nod awkwardly. "Good, because I don't think I can contain myself from here on out" he gave you one last mean smile before pulling down your panties and plunging into your intimacy.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Storm/The Eye, Pt. 4

Finally, the Genii arrive at Atlantis with Acastus Kolya at the helm. With Robert Davi acting, it's rather on the nose how much the events of the story follow the plot of Die Hard with Kolya as Hans Gruber and Sheppard as John McClane. And, as I mentioned the polysemic storytelling used by the series, the role of Holly Gennero is played by both McKay and Weir.

McKay and Weir are captured by the Genii almost immediately.

They're clever enough to keep their communicators on so that Sheppard can eavesdrop on the discussion. McKay is clearly frightened, even more so than Weir because he actually has experience of these people from before, but he's not about to give them anything that would jeopardize Sheppard (not even his own name, confirmation of which Sora provides for Kolya). Rodney is a brave little toaster but he's way in over his head. You can see by the minute tilt of his chin that he just entered What Would Sheppard Do? zone, he's trying to navigate the situation the way he thinks John would.

The fact that Weir responds verbally to Kolya's inquiry about his identity and McKay does not but is recognized anyway is exactly how the entire scenario plays out main text / sub text wise. We are verbally told: Elizabeth, from contextual cues we are able to interpret: Rodney.

We actually cut from Sheppard's reaction to what he just overheard to the storm brewing outside. Because if he was frightened of the storm and what it might do to this newly found home at the beginning of the episode, he's now terrified.

In the Genii home world when they were held hostage, McKay and Sheppard both attempted to keep the other safe in their own ways, and they continue doing just that here. Sheppard is using his military training, McKay is using his brain (and Weir is using her skills as a negotiator). McKay is trying to convey information that Sheppard could use by "accidentally" leaning on the communication panel but at the same time, he's letting him know that they are both still alive and unharmed. It's notable that all of the characters are lying to keep each other safe. They are saying counterfactual things in the hopes that the others might be spared.

Also notable: Kolya is smart enough to know that they are lying.

McKay seems to realize that he has no experience in dealing with the kind of sociopath Kolya is but he tries his best. He's being careful not to antagonize them unnecessarily and is also lying about the most important things.

Kolya has figured out that McKay is too important to be there. There must be a reason why he stayed behind. The Genii clearly recognize his importance on a lot of fronts, the least of them not being that he's the one that knows how to use the C4 to build an A-bomb which is something that the Genii don't know how to do. He would go as far as to injure McKay but it's doubtful he ever had intention of killing him.

But even under physical torture, he didn't give up Sheppard. The Genii only learn that Sheppard is in fact in the city through the radio he left in the armory himself. The only reason he gives out the plan to save the city is that he has such faith in Sheppard. This is why he looks guilty when Kolya and Sheppard have this exchange:

Kolya: Your offer is very generous, Major. Sheppard: Yes, it is. Kolya: However, Doctor McKay recently shared with me there's a plan in action to save the city. Sheppard: He did?! Kolya: He did.

Like, McKay overhears this and thinks that he's disappointed Sheppard; as though Sheppard is expressing surprise that he would do such a thing. The last thing McKay wants is to let the Major down. What their exchange is actually about is Kolya letting Sheppard know that he has hurt McKay enough to get information out of him, and Sheppard gets this.

And Sheppard's plan is to rescue them. He hides the thing that he knows the Genii care most about, the thing they can't do without, it being the C4. He's holding the most important thing to the Genii ransom because he hopes that this will be enough for him to get back the most important thing to him. Everyone is attempting to find the leverage and use it.

Knowing that Sheppard has walked into an ambush, even though he is afraid McKay tries to help him the only way he can which is by pointing out that something is invaluable (reminding them that they might break the only thing that can save the city if they start shooting at him). Likewise, Sheppard only went to the grounding station with the hope that doing what the Genii asked would keep Weir and McKay safe. And boy is McKay relieved to hear the Sheppard managed to dodge the ambush:

Note that it's McKay's reaction we get to this, and his alone.

Now, Sheppard makes the mistake of mentioning McKay because he just can't keep him out of his mouth. When you're thinking about something or someone, it's going to come out of your mouth. He tells Kolya that he's going to get "an earful from McKay for" his soldiers breaking the controls to the grounding station, and then this very thing actually happens. What he actually did was to demonstrate to a really intelligent sociopath that he knows McKay pretty damn well. Too well. And that he cares about him because damn, if that didn't signal familiarity between them.

Starting to play hardball, Kolya tells Sheppard "Say good-bye to Doctor Weir". But note that he actually looks at McKay just before he says this, thinking about something. Kolya and Sheppard are playing a game with extremely high stakes.

Now, it seems like Kolya threatening Weir is too much for Sheppard. It's the mention of Weir that throws him off the edge, right? Makes him threaten to destroy to whole city if he hurts her. Weir, and not McKay. Easy, heteronormative reading. That's what they say, after all.

The thing is, we've seen before that Sheppard is both a strategic thinker and (especially in Underground, S01E08) that especially when it comes to the Genii, he thinks that the less information they have about them, the better. He lied about the number of puddle jumpers they have. He was willing to let them know that they have a ship, but not that they have many ships. He stopped McKay from spilling the beans on how much weaponry they have. Each and every one of the characters have been lying through their teeth all through the ordeal to keep each other safe.

Kolya is likewise a strategic thinker. He's trying to figure Sheppard out. He has two hostages and he's trying to find out how he can use them for leverage. He knows all of them are lying.

Some people watch the episode and come to the conclusion that Sheppard cares about Weir the most because Kolya threatens her and he loses it. And like, he doesn't mention McKay so he must not care about him as much as he does about Weir. But it is precisely because McKay is the one he cannot and will not lose that he plays it out as though Weir is the one he cares the most about here. Giving the enemy that kind of leverage like revealing the thing you actually can't live without would be stupid. And Kolya figures it out anyway.

Sheppard tells him that if he hurts Weir, he would rather blow up Atlantis with all of them in it, indicating to him that Weir is the one he cannot afford to lose. Anything you do, just please don't kill her. And yet we end the episode with Kolya telling Sheppard that he is about to kill one of the two, and he's not telling him which. Having just glanced at McKay before he decided to test Sheppard out by threatening Weir by name.

Why would he do that? If Kolya believed that Weir was the one Sheppard cared most about like he indicated to Kolya, why would he not simply use the leverage Sheppard had just (on purpose) given him? Why suddenly be vague about which it's going to be?

Because Kolya can play 4D-chess too. And it's when Kolya tells Sheppard that he is going to kill one of them and he does not know which that is going to be that Sheppard actually capitulates, not when he threatened to kill Weir a moment ago. Notice that Sheppard was still relatively cool and level-headed when Kolya was just threatening her life; when her life was on the line, he was still negotiating with Kolya. But suddenly he loses it.

Note that while he's shouting throughout this dialogue because he's outside in the storm trying to get his voice heard, his tone of voice changes throughout:

Kolya: You killed two of my men. Sheppard: I guess we're even! [flippant] Kolya: I don't like even. Sheppard: I'm not finished yet! [bravado] Kolya: Neither am I. Say goodbye to Doctor Weir. Sheppard: The city has a self-destruct button. You hurt her, I'll activate it. Nobody'll get Atlantis. [still calmly negotiating, able to formulate a plan of action] Kolya: Even if it exists, Major, you need at least two senior personnel to activate it -- and I'm about to take one of them out of the equation. Sheppard: Kolya?! Kolya?! I'll give you a ship! I'll fly it out of here for you myself! KOLYA!! [suddenly desperate]

Sheppard is willing to do anything and say anything to keep McKay safe. The man he's fallen in love with. His home. The person he cares so much for that a stranger he's known for all of five minutes was able to figure it out and use it against him. Threatening Weir wasn't the thing that pushed him over the edge, it was not knowing which one the gun was pointed at and the fear that Kolya had figured him out, had his ticket.

This is when Kolya made himself into Sheppard's mortal enemy. And it's notable that in every one of their subsequent encounters, Kolya knows to use McKay to get to Sheppard.

Continued in Pt. 5

[onlyoneofyongsoo]

Why BUB actually fits into OOO's catalogue

Bump Up Business has been criticised for many things, and don’t get me wrong, it’s far from perfect, but there is one question I have heard a lot: “Why did OnlyOneOf of all people choose to do this? Doesn’t this show play exactly into the thing we have been defending them of?”

My own answer to this is yes and no. But let me explain. 

In this I will not be discussing what the writers had in mind, because I don’t know them. But I’ll talk about why I think it makes sense OnlyOneOf would tell this kind of story, whether they actually had any say in choosing this drama or not.

The main argument for most peoples' criticism I’ve seen is “This show is about/glorifying queerbaiting.” But is it really? Both of the characters are already queer. Jihoon has dated at least one man and is very aware of his own sexuality. Eden is quickly established as being very insecure in his own sexuality, not because he’s straight, but because he’s queer and finds that hard to accept. So the show is about queer characters. 

Okay, so how does the queerbaiting fall into this? Obviously there is queerbaiting present. Their company practically forces them to do it. Eden is very reluctant, but agrees after the company gives him an ultimatum. Jihoon is less reluctant, but also in a tight spot. He has fallen off and this is seemingly his last chance to save his career, something he wouldn’t give up even for the man he loved. So the characters take no pleasure in the queerbaiting, but is it a problem to them? Yes, actually. It is made clear that they have trouble telling apart what is real feelings and what’s just work. In episode 4 for example Jihoon asks Eden if he is struggling with their concept after Eden revealed how insecure he is in his sexuality. The question comes from a place of caring and honesty. Eden then answers that he is okay because it’s "just work". Since emotions and their hidden identities are now part of their work it gets all muddled and confusing for them. 

You might say now “But that’s not the problem with queerbaiting! They’re leading their fans on!” And from a fan’s perspective I agree. They are leading them on. But this isn’t about fans, this show is about idols. What would it be like for a queer idol to work in an industry where you are urged to act queer but to never be queer? How would that affect your personal life?

In the drama the queer characters hide their identity. Even after Hyunbin spread these awful rumours about Jihoon, they don’t reveal their relationship. Evidently having rumours about being with women is still better than revealing that you’re gay. The entire time they keep any real relationships under wraps. 

On top of that, in a way Eden has to out himself for his job. Even though he of course isn’t allowed to be actually queer, acting this lovey-dovey with another man in public sure must feel like he’s coming out and he is clearly uncomfortable with that. Interviewers and netizens are constantly questioning their relationship as well. Are they gay? Are they straight? Do they naturally act that way? Is the company forcing them? Having all your actions be scrutinised and dissected like this, especially as a closeted queer person is terrifying. 

Once again I’m not claiming that the writers wanted to represent queer idols’ struggles, but I think you can understand how this might be able to be read that way, especially by idols themselves. 

Now how does this fit in with OnlyOneOf’s usual work, besides the obvious queer element? For that I’d like to remind you of June 2022. That is the month we started off the undergrOund idOl project. If you’re like me, then that name probably made you question it. What does it mean? I remember theories about it being about struggling as a relatively unknown group and things along those lines. Luckily they gave us hints in several articles by letting us know that the series is about “the inner side of idols who shine on stage”. Okay, cool! So is it about struggles with fame? Like a glimpse behind the mask? Let’s look at the videos! Hm… Not much about idol life here actually… They’re all just.. queer? How curious. Almost as if they want to highlight the queerness so many idols or celebrities have to hide?

So OnlyOneOf, a group whose behaviours and sexualities are constantly being dissected and who is famous for telling and highlighting genuine queer stories, even connecting those stories to what idols have to hide, choose a drama that is about queer idols who have to navigate their queerness in an industry that demands “fake queerness” but has no room for real queer people. This doesn’t actually seem that surprising to me. Does it to you?

Last comments:

I don’t think that BUB is a critical masterpiece tastefully portraying the harsh reality of queer celebrities. I think that the producers and writers did not do a good job and that OnlyOneOf’s own work is a lot better. But I can absolutely see how this story fits into the larger picture and why this could be appealing to them. I don’t know if they even had any say in doing the drama to begin with. But I just wanted to provide a different point of view. Maybe someone found this interesting at least <3

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Wow, this episode of Two Worlds. I wish more people were watching, because it's doing some interesting things. (Though it is intense & violent at times, for those who don't have the bandwidth for such right now, totally understandable).

I'm particularly fascinated with what they're doing around Tai. Because he is getting some heroic framing, yes, but at the same time they are making it pretty clear that he is not a standard "good" guy. Especially after this episode.

He swaps one man about to be murdered for another, with zero concern. And yes, this is the son of the "big boss" so presumably not a bastion of moral goodness himself, but what's interesting is that the show takes no time to establish that for us. He could be a horrible person, he could read to blind orphans in his spare time, they don't specify. And that feels deliberate to me, to avoid making Tai's choices always on the side of "good". He is supposed to be a gray character.

He's soft and emotional under his hard exterior, is utterly whipped for Kram, and he doesn't enjoy killing. He is unable to pull the trigger on Por. But he also doesn't hesitate when he feels it's called for, or when he has no emotional attachment, like when he John Wicks his way through his father's men after his Kram's death, or when he sets up Por through the execution of a bound and helpless man.

And this really makes me think of the Tai from our Kram's original world, and how the two characters are connected, and how it might play out through the series. @laurenkmyers has a great post here reflecting on what the difference is between the two. Love with Kram, yes, but is there more, or is this a matter of perspective and framing?

We know Tai was responsible for Kram's mother's death in some way in the original world (I don't remember them clearly showing it, so there's still a bit of ambiguity around what actually happened). But from that day on Kram saw Tai as a figure to be terrified of, and the scar is a symbol of that. But what is actually there under the surface? The framing of their interactions in the original world made a big deal of their moments in the same space. Was it just foreshadowing for Kram's experiences in the parallel world, or something more?

I have absolutely no idea where we will go in this show, but there is a part of me that feels like we have to return to the origin world at some point. We're only halfway through the series. The direct antagonists are mostly dead. (Phupha's story is still confusing, but I don't know how much we're expected to care at this point).

And we have the setup where we know people can have memories from their self in the other world, we know Kram understands Tai and his background at a much deeper level, and he's inclined to want to help the version of the man he loves in the universe that he is currently in.

It would be devastating to see this Tai lose his Kram again. But I'm also so damn curious to see what Kram in his original world would mean for dark Tai.

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S1E19: The Home Invaders

Vice helps Sonny's mentor investigate a rash of violent robberies.

A heavy, methodical, paranoid episode* with a surprisingly non-devastating ending and a lot of Castillo doing very serious detective work-- The Home Invaders is another Vice classic, and also a great Crockett & Castillo episode

The Squad is roped into a robbery case in the middle of the night (Gina seems bright-eyed and bushy-tailed-- the rest of them are in various states of decay); a series of homes have been broken into and their residents not only robbed but violently assaulted

There's no Tubbs in this episode, which is explained by an offhand comment from Trudy-- he's in New York "sipping champagne with Valerie," which bothers the hell out of me, because last time we saw her she was going to jail for murder. Next time we see her we learn Sonny pulled some strings to get her exonerated (which... okay. Fine. I don't actually buy it, for a number of reasons, but I do understand why you'd want to get Pam Grier back), but at this point it just seems like a major oversight, like they forgot how the last Val episode ended

When the squad is pulled in to help, we learn that Sonny's old mentor is leading the investigation. Sonny is thrilled to see him and clearly still is harboring a bit of hero worship. Martin is significantly less impressed, looking through the files from the robbery department and asking, essentially: okay, but do you actually have any... clues? This becomes a running theme, and Sonny has to navigate a My Parents Are Divorced situation because of it-- his mentor doesn't actually seem to be doing a very good job with the investigation, but Castillo-- who is incapable of tact on this topic-- is his current boss, and someone he has developed a lot of loyalty to.

Trans Flag Sonny

The episode involves scenes where the robbers are doing the robbery (with faces hidden, violent and unknowable and terrifying), which are really well done and raise the tension and stakes to genuinely uncomfortable levels. However, there are also scenes where they show the robbers plotting, and to be honest I think the episode would've been better without those. This episode is by no means a treatise on the nature of criminality, so by turning them from almost a force of nature into "a couple of chuckling guys talking about money," it just makes them... less scary? (And I think there's a sense early on that Sonny's mentor might be corrupt-- once we meet the titular home invaders, it becomes fairly clear that he's not involved in the crime, he's just phoning it in. I think that extra bit of tension could've been really good!)

This is such a good Castillo episode, partially because it really establishes the dichotomy of how good he is at his job vs. how weird he is and how iffy his social skills are. Castillo will solve the case! But he will absolutely not make eye contact with anyone as he does so. The moment where he and Sonny sit in the car and Castillo just... literally does not move for about a minute is fantastic, and there's another scene that's all cuts between Sonny out pounding the pavement and Castillo... reading. Reading every file ever. Endlessly reading files forever. That is just so emblematic of their two characters. I swear at one point he drinks a random drink he finds on the bar-- he is odd! Insanely competent, but odd.

Sonny realizes Castillo is right, but he does not want to be his babysitter-- he spends a lot of this episode sighing and furrowing his brow and trying to apologize to Malone (his mentor) even though he is actually suspicious of his ability to run this case-- Sonny is very charming, but he actually does not have the emotional wherewithal or bandwidth to play go-between for those two. (There is a scene where Sonny and Marty both ask Malone a bunch of initially gentle and then increasingly dire questions and Malone just..... stops making eye contact, too.)

Gina is sent to the hairdressers to investigate a possible link between victims, and has a really well-done sequence where she is carefully watching everyone in the salon (to the tune of Sheila E.'s The Glamorous Life-- which I always think is a Vanity song, and then I always think about the fact that Prince wanted to name Vanity "Vagina"). It's not only a well-shot and choreographed sequence, but also one where Gina mirrors both Sonny and Castillo-- it's an episode with a lot of watching and looking, and the three of them all get a really lovely opportunity to show off their actual detective skills. Sonny watches the streets and looks for clues there, Castillo watches the actions of the robbery division and looks for clues in files, and Gina watches people, looking for behavioral hints that could help them get to the heart of the case.

Trudy is not given much to do in this one, which is a bummer, because she is also super-extra hot this week. Otherwise it's also a really good "the whole team working together" episode, too.

I do like this episode but there's a bit of mean-spiritedness towards both the sex workers that help them narrow down their suspects and the older woman who is a potential victim-- it's all a little too victim-blamey and ha-ha-women-are-frivolous for my tastes.

So, Sonny has a number of "person I have hero worship feelings about" episodes, and every other one ends with that person being swallowed up by the job and either dying or letting the system turn them bad. Malone, on the other hand, makes amends with Castillo, realizes and admits he's been phoning it in, decides to retire because of that, tells Sonny what he's doing and why, and then goes and eats lunch with Vice Squad. He's the only person in the whole series who shows Sonny that sometimes you need to say goodbye, and gives him an example of what it looks like when you do it on your own terms. Given the ending of the series, Malone may in fact be the true hero of Miami Vice-- he literally says to Sonny "let me show you when it's time for you to put your gun on the shelf," and when the time comes, Sonny also manages to walk away.

Also Castillo/Malone remarriage for the sake of their son arc?

*Re: the home invasion plot and sense of paranoia-- there's a bunch of S3 episodes that basically are just Dick Wolf saying "hey, what if we redo the plot of a S1 episode but worse and with more police brutality," but there's another paranoid home invasion episode in S3 (Shadow in the Dark) that is so good it almost makes The Home Invaders seem a little tame by comparison. It's probably the only "plot retread" episode I actually like just a smidge better than the "original." Nonetheless, this is still a great episode.

[thatwitchrevan]

I have so many questions about the pwk being meant for Merilwen and ofc I'd like to hear the in game reasoning for that but I think Luke was right at least in part about it being a strike for the strongest threat (and most likely to be able to bring someone back)

But what was the DM thought process. Because Johnny didn't give away how serious it was until Corazon got hit instead of Merilwen. Which makes me wonder if they expected Merilwen to evade or dispel it somehow? Or were they genuinely prepared to outright kill Merilwen? And if that had happened what are the chances that she could be brought back? People have mentioned Egbert having Revivify but I have no idea if that's confirmed.

I think going for Merilwen makes a lot of sense but the prospect of it actually killing her is terrifying for multiple reasons. I like. I love all the Oxventurers pretty equally and I was definitely upset that Corazon took the hit, especially cause he was low on the list of who I was prepared to see individually killed off (I pretty much was prepared to lose Dob or Liliana or Egbert).

BUT I think him doing the heroic jump and joking about it took the edge off a bit (which is one of the best examples of why I love this series and how everyone plays together so much. Andy rambling about his hit points while the table grapples with the revelation that he's been killed is just peak Oxventure.)

If Merilwen dies outright I think everyone would have just been in numb shock for a second and I would have had to pause the episode and go outside to scream for like an hour. And then beat Liliana to death with one of her own arms.

But Corazon's play was a twofold rescue of Corazon absorbing the attack to protect Merilwen, turning a painful and senseless death into a still tragic but also heartfelt moment showing their bond and his character growth, and Andy salvaging some hope and cutting the tension with jokes.

Also, Merilwen's immediate response shows why she's essential to the team in this moment, because everyone else was frozen in shock and unable to immediately act to protect themselves or provide catharsis, and while I think Prudence or possibly Dob would have attacked Liliana if Merilwen was dead I think Merilwen's outpouring of rage perfect and a great culmination of her character, and I'm kind of biased towards her as the enactor of righteous fury and all that.

Any of them dying was a huge shock given the hilariously light stakes of most of the series but it being the squishy human pirate definitely had a different impact than it being Merilwen, the eldest with hella strong magic. And then there's the rest of the party's guilt that they wouldn't have been quick enough to protect her.

I think I would have been really sad if Corazon stayed deas though, because again I love all of them a lot and because he is a squishy human (well. Was a squishy human) and because he's had so much growth and was so keen on continuing to live and grow and yet he risked himself blindly, selfishly, automatically for his friend, yeah I'd be real torn up if he was gone for good.

[marshmallowgoop]

My part of the DCMK Fanworks Server Halfiversary Exchange 2023! For @blenderfullasarcasm!

I decided to follow the Yu-Gi-Oh! and DCMK crossover prompt, which specifically highlighted "Season 0," the colloquial name for the first anime adaptation of the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga. So, I paired Detective Conan (and the eensy-littlest bit of Magic Kaito) footage with that anime's theme song, "A Yell of Thirst" by Field of View.

For as long as I've known about it, I've had my own soft spot for the Season 0 series. The portrayal of Yami Yugi as this frightening, malicious personality who emerges only in times of danger gripped me—and still does. Revisiting the series for this project, I could still so strongly recall scenes of Yugi and his friends grappling with his mysterious "other self."

And I also realized that maybe Detective Conan and Yu-Gi-Oh! are more similar than I previously thought. After all, couldn't "Sleeping Kogoro" also be described as a frightening, malicious personality who emerges only in times of danger?

(Or, more in line with the actual video I edited, Conan is "another Shinichi" who both terrifies and helps him, a dynamic perhaps not so unlike that of Yugi and Yami Yugi in Season 0.)

I hope you enjoy what I came up with! My goal was to utilize clips featuring every character and relationship noted in the prompts, and though an AMV can't exactly be a casefic or delve into worldbuilding per se, I also tried to capture the spirit of those prompts, too, including more actual detective-ing and backgrounds than I ever have in my Conan AMVs before. Huge shout out goes to @dcmk-scenery, an absolutely fantastic resource who were a tremendous help, as well as the Detective Conan World wiki, which definitely led me to clips from episodes I haven't even seen yet! The English translation of the lyrics are also courtesy of the Yu-Gi-Oh! wiki.

As a final note, though I know the requirement for the exchange was a 15-second AMV, I really wanted to make my gift special; Blender is so kind and does so much for the DCMK community, including setting up this event in the first place! I'm so glad I was able to to be a part of this, and I hope my final result brings joy.

This AMV can also be watched on YouTube in full 1080p and with subtitles that can be toggled on and off. Sources used are:

Episodes: 1, 2, 3, 9, 11, 14, 15, 16, 23, 33, 49, 52, 54, 58, 68, 76, 84-85, 87, 90, 91, 118, 129, 130, 136, 142, 147, 162, 166, 189, 191-193, 203, 217, 254, 304, 351, 361, 479, 490, 878, 909, 927, 994

Films: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7 (film and trailer), 8, 10, 13, 15, 16, Lupin the 3rd vs. Detective Conan: The Movie

Specials: TV Special 6 (Episode One: The Great Detective Turned Small)

OVAs: 2, 9

OPs: 10, 11, 24, 25, 30, 32, 37, 55, 56

EDs: 5, 6, 9, 58

Other: Magic Kaito Episode 2, The Culprit Hanzawa Episode 2

[fandom-imagines-stories]

How Do You Know It's Worth It?

Season Two Episode Eight

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader (Aaron Hotchner’s Sister)

Words: 4031

Series Masterlist

Summary: While the reader works on returning to the more intense part of her job, Spencer struggles with the break and their current case. Aaron faces a fight of his own. 

Notes: This is another episode where I had planned to have more of the actual episode worked in, but I’m happy with how it turned out this way. It does jump around (surprise surprise) so just be aware of that. And I finally get to introduce the plot of The Reaper, which is such a great one in the show. However, that means we all know what’s coming… (And yes, I am making a Bones crossover. He may or may not make an appearance, along with anyone else from the show. I don’t care if it’s cliche, I’m excited)

-

Five Months Later

The crying shouts echoed down the hall. Tired eyes peered into the dark, a nightmare fading slowly into reality. With a few steps towards the sound, terrified words grew clearer. 

“Take… the… deal.” The voice was broken and desperate. “Take the deal.” 

You turned on a lamp in the living room and found his shaking form on the couch. He was still wearing his work clothes, his tie loosened around his neck. 

“I could have stopped him.” 

“Aaron?” 

His head jerked at the sound, but his eyes remained screwed shut. “Stop hunting me, I’ll stop hunting them. Stop hunting me, I’ll stop hunting them.” 

You let out a low sigh. It wasn’t the first time you’d woken up to those words. 

You knelt beside the couch and put a hand on his arm. “Aaron, wake up.” 

“He escaped… Foyet… hunt…” 

“He isn’t here.” You shook his arm gently. “Aaron, The Reaper isn’t here. You’re home. Wake up.” His shoulders thrashed. You shook harder and raised your voice. “Wake up.” 

He shot up so fast he almost hit you. His arm yanked away from your hand, propelling you backward into the coffee table. Papers scattered to the floor. 

“Foyet,” he breathed, his chest heaving. 

You sat up. “It was just a nightmare, Aaron. You’re home.” 

His dark eyes found yours and you watched him come back to himself. Aaron ran his hand down his face, swinging his legs over the side of the couch to sit. He held out a hand to help you up. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” You brushed yourself off and stood. “I thought we talked about you sleeping out here.” You noted the files spread over the coffee table. All had something to do with George Foyet. Phone records. Witness reports. Anything that could connect to that man. “And working so late.” 

He sighed. “I didn’t realize what time it was and I closed my eyes for a second.” He looked up at you with guilt. “I’m sorry I woke you.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” You gave him a reassuring nod. “Between the two of our nightmare records, we should start keeping count.” He shook his head and, beneath his harried expression, you thought you caught a glimpse of a smile. 

The two of you ended up at the kitchen table with spoons and the secret tub of ice cream he sometimes had to hide from Jack between you. 

“You,” he took another spoonful, “should be getting your rest. You have a big week starting tomorrow.” 

You let the cool dessert dissolve on your tongue. “Dr. Sweets thinks it’ll be a good thing. Getting out from behind a desk and back to real research again could be just what I need.” 

“If I had known he’d be encouraging you to sit across from killers, I might not have recommended him,” Aaron said. 

A few months back, when it was clear the therapist you’d been seeing wasn’t working out, Aaron told you about a psychiatrist at the FBI. He was young, but Aaron had heard really good things about him. And, even though he usually only treated agents, he was more than happy to do the BAU unit chief a favor. 

While you were closed off at first, you’d come to think of Dr. Sweets as almost a friend as much as a therapist. There was something about his youthful excitement that just made you think of someone else you knew. 

“And I wasn’t just talking about work,” Aaron added, taking another scoop of the mint chip. He eyed you from across the table. “Are you sure you’re ready?” 

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve seen him since…” You cleared your throat. “Since I started staying here.” 

“But it’s the first time you’ve called it a date,” he said. 

He was right. While you’d seen Spencer here and there over the past few months for coffee and check-ins and the occasional awkward lunch, it was the first time you’d let yourself call a meal with him a date. Unpredictable schedule permitting, he was cooking for you at the apartment in a few days. Even just thinking about it almost gave you those butterflies you hadn’t felt since you first started seeing each other. 

You shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.” 

“Don’t let Reid hear you say that,” Aaron chuckled. Frankly, he was a troubling mix of excited and worried for you. And for Reid. The younger agent had seemed anxious ever since you’d made the plans. But between staying with him and staying with Haley, he could tell the loneliness was starting to take a toll on you. “Just don’t try and rush into something you aren’t ready for.” 

You snorted and raised a brow at his wording. “I think we’re a little past the point for that kind of talk, don’t you think?”

“Y/N,” he groaned. “I have one rule.” 

“Come on, you walked into that one.” 

“Every joke, every comment you make about…” He couldn’t even bring himself to say it, making you laugh even harder. “I can’t ever unhear that!” 

“Okay, okay. Sorry.” 

The two of you looked at each other for a moment before you both burst out laughing, any memory of either of your nightmares pushed to the back of your mind. 

You’d come so far. You had to believe there would be a point where you could start to feel like… well, you again. You only hoped that point was now. 

-

You packed everything into your messenger bag except for the journal on your nightstand- aka, Aaron’s desk. It was a light-colored leather with a silver clasp and a message on the inside cover. You knew it by heart. 

“In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could to any person; I create myself.” Susan Sontag. 

I hope you find a way to create a you that’s happy. 

Merry Christmas, Y/N.

Love, Spencer. 

You took it with you everywhere. Dr. Sweets thought it was a good idea for you to write down your feelings. That way, you wouldn’t just keep them inside. You thought it was unnecessary, but since it was a Christmas present from Spencer, you tried it anyway. 

You hated that they were both right. It wasn’t a magical solution, but, to some extent, it helped. Spencer may not have said the words ‘I told you so’ when you told him about it, but you could tell he was struggling not to. It made you smile. Really smile. 

You picked it up from the desk and carried it out with you. Today, you were going to need it. Sonia was letting you dip your toe into interview work again as part of a study on arsonists. You figured she’d tried to pick something as disconnected from your past as possible and fire was the best option. 

Still, it was better than the desk work you’d been stuck with ever since you’d been approved to come back to work after the weeks of rehab Aaron had you go to.

Your brother was gone before you left, but you knew he wouldn’t be there to wish you good luck, having woken up to a text saying he’d been called on a case. You had to pack a bag, since you’d be staying with Haley.

That was something else you were looking forward to with work. It was nice to be trusted again. 

Everything was set when you got to the office. The person you’d be interviewing was in a nearby prison, so you wouldn’t have too far of a drive. Sonia was going with you, but she’d let you be in charge of the interview itself. It was pretty customary to bring a partner and you were glad it’d be her. 

Despite what you’d told your brother, you could barely contain how nervous you were. 

When your phone started to ring, it wasn’t the voice you expected on the other line. 

“Aaron, I already told you I’ll be fine,” you answered with a roll of your eyes. 

There was a slight chuckle. “I’m sure you will be.” 

You stopped in your tracks. “Spencer, hey. Sorry, I figured you were my brother checking in.”

“Yeah, he seems a little more pensive than usual,” he said. You imagined the little turn of the corner of his lips. “I was just calling about this week. Maybe we can plan for whenever we get back from this case?” 

“Sounds good.” You could only hope you didn’t sound as nervous as you felt, but knew he’d be able to tell anyway. He always could. 

A moment of awkward, empty static passed before either of you said anything again. 

“I guess I should probably go,” he said. 

“Me too. Big day.” 

He blew out a breath. “Don’t push yourself too hard, okay? If you start to feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, I’m sure your boss would let you step back again.” 

“I don’t want to step back,” you sighed. “I want to feel… normal again. Or as normal as either of our lives allow us to be.” He inhaled, preparing his argument, but you cut him off. “I’ll see you when you get back. Be safe, Spence.” 

Spencer closed his eyes and sighed. “Yeah. You too. I’ll see you soon.” He left off the final three words in his mind. Since you broke things off and started staying with your brother, he was terrified of pushing you. As much as he wanted to remind you how much he loved you- even after all this time apart, after everything that happened- he didn’t want to make it too much. So he kept everything to himself, which had been eating at him for months. Still, the words burned on his tongue. 

I love you. 

“Hey,” JJ said, taking him out of his thoughts. “Everything okay?” 

“Y/N’s doing her first interview since she got back,” he explained. “I just wanted to check in on her before she goes.” 

“I don’t know how you guys do it.” JJ shook her head. “Sitting in a locked cell with people who have done such horrible things. Just thinking about it gives me the willies.” She noticed the nervous expression on the younger agent's face and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure Y/N will be fine. She wouldn’t be doing it unless she was ready.” 

He gave her a small smile. “I know.” Her words stayed in his mind as Hotch briefed the team on their new case in South Padre Island. Was Y/N asking him on a date a sign that she was ready to go back to the way things were? 

No. Things would never really go back to what they were before. It didn’t take a genius to realize that, but still. The small sliver of hope wouldn’t go away, no matter how much his logical brain tried to dispel it. 

Reid did his best to shake any thought of you and tried to focus on the case. No matter how hard he tried, your voice was still there, whispering ideas and theories about the murders.  It was going to be a long couple of days. 

-

You couldn’t stop shaking, though the interview had been done for an hour. Your fingers tapped diligently away at your computer, filling out the report for your findings. It wasn’t that the inmate frightened you. Training and years of detaching had prepared you well to face the monsters behind tragedies. 

It was the look in his eyes. 

The same one you saw in the mirror every morning. Just for a glimpse- a blink- but you still caught it. 

You wondered if it would ever go away. 

“You did well today,” Sonia said from your doorway. She gave you a reassuring smile. “Really well.” 

“Thanks.” You paused, thinking. “It means a lot that you’ve let me stay on here, Sonia. After, well, everything that happened.” 

“Are you kidding?” she said. “I don’t think I could afford to lose that brilliant mind of yours.”  She lingered for a moment to brief you on the next set of interviews she had planned for a study on the psychology of hitmen as serial murderers before leaving you alone again. 

You jumped when your phone rang, this time checking the number before you answered. 

“Penelope?” You said. Your heart dropped. “Wait, did something happen? Is everything okay? What happened?” 

“Relax, Wonder Woman,” she teased. “Everything is fine. I just wanted to know how your first day went. Hotch mentioned it was your first time doing the creepy interview thingy and I wanted to see how you were.” Clearly not well, judging by your immediate reaction, but she didn’t say anything about it. 

“Oh,” you blew out a sigh of relief. “It went… well about as well as it could have, given the task.” 

“How you all do that kind of thing, I’ll never understand,” Penelope shuddered. “I will stick to the safety of my screens, thank you.” 

You chuckled. “Fair enough.” Holding the phone between your ear and shoulder, you turned to face your window. The sky was gray and the clouds were heavy with the rain that was supposed to start later that evening. “Listen, Penelope, I know I’m not supposed to ask-”

“They’re okay,” she interrupted and you could hear the smile in her voice. “You could just call him, you know.”

“I don’t like to bother Aaron when he’s on cases. He likes to keep his private life separate-”

Her bubbly tone stops you again. “I wasn’t exactly talking about Hotch.” 

You groan. “Penelope, you know that we-”

“Aren’t together, I know, and you know how much that breaks my heart. Even though I support you in your decision and I’m here for you every step of the way-”

“Penelope,” you laughed, stopping her before she freaked herself out. “Thanks for checking in on me. We’ll get together soon, yeah?” 

She finally takes a breath. “Yeah. Okay. See you then.” She almost sounds disappointed. When she’s done talking to you, it’s back to death and gore. “Lots of love, Garcia out.”  

You laid your phone face down on your desk, trading it for your journal. 

“Think about the progress you’ve made.” You could practically hear Dr. Sweets’ encouragement as you picked up a pen. And you wanted to think about the day in a positive light. A step in the right direction. But the words that flowed from your hand cast a different spell. 

Today I saw the eyes of a killer and thought I saw a reflection of me in them. I know that what I did was in self-defense and I know that I probably saved more than just me… but will I ever stop feeling like this? 

Your phone rang as you dotted the last ‘i.’ 

“Penelope-” You started, having not looked at the number.

“Wrong again.” 

Spencer stood at the window of his hotel room, looking out at the ocean with his phone on speaker and information for the case laid out in front of him. He’d been staring at pages and photos for the past hour, but something one of the witnesses said had stuck with him. It made him think of you. 

“Spence.” You sat up in your chair. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no it’s not that,” he said. 

“You sound upset, what is it?”

“It’s nothing, I swear…” he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called.”

“But you did, so obviously it must be important.” You packed your journal in your bag, putting the phone to your ear as you locked up your office. “Talk to me.” 

He picked up the phone and opened the door to his balcony. The cool evening breeze greeted him, along with the sound of music from the multiple parties going on. He held the phone to his ear and sighed. 

“We talked to one of the workers of the hotel today,” he explained. “He’d found the body and was up on the roof smoking when Morgan and I found him. It’s just… he said something that stuck with me I guess. I don’t know, it made me think of you and-and me and the things we’ve both been through.” 

You inhaled sharply. “What did he say?” 

“He asked if I had seen ‘bad stuff,’” Spencer said. “And then he asked how long before you can close your eyes without it being there.” He held the cell in one hand and gripped the metal railing with the other. “I told him I still don’t know.” 

You closed your eyes, as if to prove a point. 

Sure enough, Sarah stayed like a photograph that hadn’t quite faded in time. 

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” You asked. 

“I don’t know.” Spencer took a deep breath. “I hope so.” 

You didn’t say anything and he just took a moment to listen to the sounds of you leaving your office and getting to your car. Going to Haley’s, he already knew. He wished he could be there to talk to you in person. To see your eyes again and to sit in silence and just hear each other’s breath. 

“Again, sorry for calling,” he said. “I actually don’t know why I did. I don’t know why I felt like I needed to tell you that.”

“You never have to apologize for calling me, Spence.” You closed your car door and waited to start the ignition. “I’ll see you when you get back, okay?” You closed your eyes again, only this time you imagined him instead. His messy hair. His smile. The little crinkle above his nose when he was thinking. “I love you.” 

He held the railing a little tighter. 

“I love you too.” 

“Call me when you get back.”

“I will.” 

“Goodnight, Spence.”

“Goodnight. Sleep well.” 

You hung up first but you both held the phones for a little while longer, as if you were holding onto each other’s words. 

-

He’d arrived back after everybody else, but didn’t tell you why. He hadn’t even called you when he returned. Instead, he’d been talking on the phone with Aaron for the past twenty minutes, though what about, you had no idea. 

Whatever happened in South Padre Island had affected him more than anyone else on the team. 

While you waited in Aaron’s office/your bedroom, your brother paced across his room with Reid’s rattling off facts on the other end of the line. From the sounds of it, Adam Jackson wasn’t ‘coming back’ anytime soon. 

“How do you know it’s worth it?” Reid asked. He said it so quickly and so in line with his other words, Hotch almost didn’t catch it. 

“What?” 

“This job,” the younger agent sighed. “How do you know it’s worth it?” 

Hotch stopped in his tracks. 

Spencer, who’d also been pacing for the entirety of their conversation, had stopped as well. He stared blankly at your desk. While you hadn’t used it in months, he’d always tried to make sure to keep it clean, but now there was a thin layer of dust on the surface. He must have been too busy with work to notice. 

He’d been too busy with work to notice a lot of things. 

Hotch sighed, pulling Reid’s thoughts back to their conversation. 

“I don’t think I can answer that for you,” Hotch said. He opened his door slightly, catching a glimpse of you in the other room. “You have to decide that for yourself.” 

Aaron couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he’d made the right decision. 

“Thanks, Hotch,” Reid said. He turned away from the desk, facing the kitchen. “I should go. I have to start dinner.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I can tell Y/N-”

“No, I want to see her,” Reid said, his tone betraying the return of his nerves. “I’ll text her to come over. I just hope I can put something together in time.” 

Hotch wanted to play the protective older brother and tell the younger man that a date was the last thing Reid needed after such a harrowing case. But maybe being with someone other than the team, especially someone as close to him as you, would be better for him. Better for both of you. 

“I’ll let her know.” 

“Thanks.”

“And Reid.”

Spencer gulped. “Yeah?”

“Maybe it’d be okay to just get takeout tonight,” Hotch suggested. “Wouldn’t want you burning down the apartment before she gets there.” 

Reid laughed anxiously. “I’ll figure something out. Bye, Hotch.” 

This time, he was the first to hang up. 

But as he felt the exhaustion make his limbs and eyelids heavy, he picked up his phone again.

And ordered a pizza. 

-

With an empty box and not a word spoken between you, you were starting to wonder if you should leave. Aaron had warned you that Spence had had a rough time on the last case, but there was something else hanging in the silence. 

“How did the interview go?” He asked, finally breaking the agonizing minutes of quiet. 

“I think it went well. Sonia seems to think I’m ready for more, so that’s exciting,” you said. “I’m glad to be away from my desk after the past few weeks.”

“Yeah, you seemed a little stir-crazy,” he smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, you saw a hesitance in his hazel gaze. Setting your crust aside, you put a hand on his arm.

“Spencer, what is it?” Your fingers traced a wrinkle in his sleeve. “What’s going on in that head of yours, hm?” 

“Do you think I should quit the BAU?” He blurted. 

You coughed, wrapping your head around his words to make sure you understood him correctly. 

“What?” 

“I just…” He blew out a breath. “Sometimes it's just hard to see the point. I mean, take this case, for example. We arrested the victim and let the abuser go free. And now, there’s a scared man trapped so far into his own mind because his alternate personality won’t let him out. And you know what Morgan told me? He said ‘You’re going to have to accept the fact that sometimes we can’t save everyone.’” Spencer stood up, running a hand through his hair. “Then what’s the point? If we can’t save Tobias-” 

He stopped, the last name dying on his lips. You said nothing, giving him a moment to process before he continued. 

“Just think about Hotch. Even he was going to transfer, and when he didn’t, the other side of his life fell apart.” Spence shook his head. “I spend so much time trying to save everyone that I-” He took a shaking breath. “That I didn’t know you were the one that needed me the most.” Spencer turned back to you with tearful eyes. “I can’t be yours in this job.” 

“No, Spencer,” you said, shaking your head and standing up to take his face in your hands. “You are everything I need you to be.” Tucking a hair behind his ear, you looked into his eyes with more assurance than you’d felt in a long time. “Your dedication to your job is just one of the things I love. And, believe me, you weren’t the first person in my life I’ve had to share with the BAU.”

The corner of his lips tugged up into a crooked smile. 

You kept going. “You love your work, even though it’s dark and terrifying and messy. You save people. And no, you can’t save everyone, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying.” You leaned closer. “You saved me.” 

He nodded, still holding back tears. 

Eyes still searching his, you closed the space between you and kissed him as if for the first time. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you as close as he could while his lips moved against yours with a sigh of relief in his chest. 

Time slowed. 

You both forgot about the week you’d had and let the relaxing familiarity of each other’s embrace coax your stresses away. 

For the first time in months, you slept in your own bed.

-

The In-Betweens series: @amywright; shesoperfectt;  hereforsmutbcicantgetenough;  violetbossler;  hyper-half-blood;  i-bitch-you-bitch; xcastawayherosx; preciousbabypeter; @jori21; @sol-48;  @murdermornings ; @ staygoldsquatchling02; @ ara-a-bird

[misteria247]

Ya know something? In the episode of the 2012 series Slash and Destroy (I believe that's the name), when Spike had started attacking Raph's brothers can you imagine how hard that must have been for Raph to witness?

Like here's this turtle who's been his pet for years now freshly mutated and acting like Raph and his brothers and him are all on the same team, but in reality Spike is picking off Raph's brothers one by one and Raph has no idea that Spike's behind Donnie's disappearance until Mikey literally begs Raph to help him find Donnie and Raph of course is all for it because that's his little brother who's missing and he wants to find him too. And here he's thinking Spike's gonna help them find Donnie because they're all family and that's what families do......

Only to watch Spike literally smash Mikey straight into the ground with the full intention of killing him.

Like could you imagine how Raph felt at that moment? Could you imagine the hurt and betrayal he felt when he saw essentially his best friend attack his baby brother?? Imagine the horror and dread he must of felt when he realized that Donnie's disappearance was Spike's doing??? Imagine the ungodly fear he felt when he realizes that Leo's not with him and his brothers and has no idea about Spike's agenda??? Imagine the guilt he felt when he realized that he may have very well unintentionally played a massive role in his friend's sudden agenda????

Like that's a horrifying thing to endure when you really think about, when you think about how Raph had nearly had his brothers murdered right in front of him by his mutated childhood pet, all because he said things to this little turtle during his anger driven rants. Like as soon as Spike does this and Raph of course freaks out on him and Spike's like-

"They're holding you back Raphael! If we just get rid of them-!"

And Raph just responds along the lines of-

"My brothers drive me crazy yes, but I don't want them gone-!"

Just this whole thing you realize just how terrified Raph is at that moment, you realize exactly what he's actually feeling because at this moment his brothers could be taken from him and by someone who he trusted with his life. Like could you imagine??? And to make it even worse for him, when Raph realizes that Spike won't stop trying to kill his brothers unless he's forcibly stopped, he has to make that heavy decision of choosing his best friend and life long pet or his brothers lives and he doesn't even hesitate to choose his brothers and their safety. Even though fighting Spike was probably one of the most emotionally devastating things he's ever had to do within his lifetime, even though he never wanted things to end up like that he still chooses that path and fights Spike with everything he has powering through those emotions and that turmoil because his brothers lives are on the line and he'd be damned if something happened to them while he was alive and breathing.

Raph fights him and he himself nearly gets taken down at one point and his two little brothers who are hurt and unable to really fight try to take on Spike themselves to protect their older brother and end up getting even more hurt. Like can you imagine how Raph must felt? Can you imagine how awful that was to see his already hurt little brothers get even more hurt because they were trying to protect him while he was down for the count for that brief moment??? Just this whole thing Raph had to go through so much horrifying shit and in the end of it all he had to take Spike down by throwing him off a building because if he didn't do it and he'd let Spike win he would have very much lost Mikey, Donnie and Leo. He would have lost his brothers to the one person who he thought had his back and that was something he couldn't let happen.

Like when you really think about it Raph went through something traumatic during that whole thing, had experienced so many emotions and so many scares in that brief span of one night, and after all was said and done he had to make one of the most difficult choices in his life yet he did it anyway because his brothers were more important to him than his friendship with Spike. Yet he's still probably filled with that grief of losing a friend, filled with that betrayal of having his back essentially be stabbed by someone he trusted, filled with that fear of having his brothers taken from him permanently because of his anger, filled with that guilt of possibly being partially responsible for his brothers near demise because of his angry rants he told to Spike, rants that when he'd finally calmed down from them he never really truly meant anything that he'd said in his anger.

Just.....my God it's sometimes hard to remember that the other turtles in the 2012 series also faced some horrific shit because a lot of the times Leo's the one who's throwing himself into the flames for his family but his brothers have been through a lot too and they too are just as scarred as Leo and it's honestly so sad when you think about how much they've all been through.

[hollygl125]

On the end of CSI: Vegas:

*Please be warned: This is not in fact a post for fans of (the non-GSR portions of) CSI: Vegas. This is (shocking, I know!) a post for fans of Sara Sidle + Gil Grissom.*

I’d like to pour one out for CSI: Vegas. 🥂

I didn’t watch the series finale of CSI: Vegas, which aired this past Sunday, even though I’d told myself I might, just for the heck of it. I didn’t watch any of last season’s episodes with Greg Sanders, even though I’d told myself I would, though maybe someday I will if I get around to it.

I only watched the first ten episodes of CSI: Vegas—the GSR: The Epilogue episodes—but for those ten episodes I am awfully, terribly, tremendously grateful.

I mean, let’s be real, getting to see the two characters from a long-running TV will-they/won’t they couple come back and be so beautiful together is a one-in-a “I can’t remember seeing it before in my several decades of TV-watching” opportunity.

I’m going to start by quoting what I said on Twitter (for as long as I can stop my iPhone from updating the app it’s still a blue bird and I can use it) a few days after the CSI: Vegas cancellation was announced:

I’m so grateful to CSI: Vegas. By letting us see Sara + Grissom be as beautiful + perfect + magical as I’d have imagined them to be when finally allowed just to be (happy) together, it made the #GSR love story of the original CSI even more satisfying (to me, at least). 💕💕💕

I’m incredibly leery of revivals, which have the ability to wreak so much havoc. On this topic, I’d recommend checking out the story of the 2019 revival of Veronica Mars + the resulting death (murder) of that show’s fandom, if you’re not familiar with it.

Maybe it’s because I read an angstier (for GSR) earlier script for the CSIV pilot. But victories are all too rare, and I can’t call getting to see my two favourite science nerds be happy + gorgeous together anything but a win. Thanks always to JF + WP for being so magical. 💕💕💕

Then roughly five years later an eight-episode revival was announced. Veronica Mars + Logan Echolls (“LoVe”) are one of my all-time favourite fictional couples. So was I excited? No, I was terrified. We’d left them happily together and in love. Why f*** with that? I tried to convince myself everything would be okay.

It wasn’t. The show’s creator sh*t on the fans in the worst way possible, and his justifications for it were positively insulting, just, you know, to women as a whole. (Luckily the season dropped earlier than scheduled on Hulu, and I was spoiled and spared the agony of actually watching it.)

So, as I noted on Twitter, I am incredibly leery of revivals. Sometimes we need the chance to give a proper ending to a beloved story (as in the case of the Veronica Mars and CSI (“Immortality”) movies). But sometimes a story needs an actual ending—it needs actually to end—so it has meaning and finality. And that is impossible when things keep getting revived.

My threshold then, for a revival, the bar by which I measure it, is simply that I need it not to f*** up what came before it. The Veronica Mars revival failed horribly (to put it mildly) in that respect. Whereas CSI: Vegas . . . well, to my mind, it made the GSR storyline of the original CSI even better and more satisfying, by letting us see how perfect and beautiful and happy and luminescent (and I could go on . . .) Sara and Grissom would be together if finally allowed to be just that.

I usually like to respond to what I would consider to be negative “bad takes” simply by making my own more positive point(s). But I am going to break that rule here for just a minute. On Twitter (yes, I know, my own fault!) sometimes I still see GSR fans complaining about CSI: Vegas: the “cut kiss” or GSR not getting enough screen time or GSR not seeming married enough (I think because they never got naked—I don’t know—I don’t really get that take myself—they were so divinely married!) or . . . again I don’t know. And it makes me kind of sad, and it drives me kind of ’round the bend. I really think that, if a GSR fan cannot appreciate the beauty WP and JF gave us in CSI: Vegas, they are snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. (I think they tend to be young, and I want to tell them: “Life is hard enough!!! Don’t set up roadblocks for yourself!”)

Aside from the GSR of it all, CSI: Vegas admittedly wasn’t really my cup of TV tea. Tonally it felt like it existed in a somewhat different universe; it reminded me more of Bones than of the OG CSI. Now, I watched all of Bones, more than once, so this isn’t meant to be an insult to Bones; it’s just not what I would be looking for from CSI.

But, the truth is, I wasn’t looking for more CSI. All I needed was for CSI: Vegas not to f*** things up for Sara and Grissom, and on that score it didn’t just meet but exceeded expectations.

I also love that CSI: Vegas put together such a diverse cast; they deserve an A+ for that. Although I didn’t watch either of them, I’m really unimpressed that CSI canned two women-led procedurals. (An obvious response here is that I should have been watching them, but I watch very, very little new TV these days and don’t live in the U.S., anyway, and honestly I just can’t with NCIS anymore.) Progress is achieved in fits and starts, I guess.

(I also will mention that literally hundreds of people work on these shows—Zuiker says 400 in his “Immortality” commentary. So, while it’s the nature of the industry, it’s always rough for those hundreds of people who had presumably-coveted network drama jobs suddenly to be in search of work, so I find it pretty insensitive to be revelling in the cancellation of a show, no matter how much you personally may not have liked it. That’s aside from the fact that, even if you didn’t like it, presumably some other people did.)

I guess that’s all I needed to say, for now.

Whoops, no, one more kind of important point for me: I watched CSI as it originally aired, and Sara + Grissom together were my favourite part of it, but I was not in any sense down the rabbit hole for them. I watched “Immortality,” I was incredibly grateful they were reunited, I wished they had kissed, and . . . I thought of them no more. For some reason OG CSI repeats have never been available where I live? So I thought of them no more—until CSI: Vegas started. We were in the midst of a pandemic, and I shelled out $100 to iTunes so I could rewatch CSI as love story. My CSI rewatch and CSI: Vegas reignited the spark, the disastrous path my mental health was on provided the lighter fuel, and I wound up down this rabbit hole with all of you. . . .

If you’re interested in that angstier earlier script for the CSI: Vegas pilot . . . well, I’ll save that for another day!

But, for now, won’t you join me in pouring one out for CSI: Vegas? 🥂

[onelungmcclung]

mota for the meme!

the first character i ever fell in love with: I liked DeMarco early on but I was sort of predisposed to (supporting character, was already familiar with Adam Long, I root for little known actors). however, he does suffer from a severe shortage of dialogue. I found myself warming to Kidd early on, too. Crosby & Bubbles's friendship is a highlight of the early episodes. in the opening scene I wanted more of Crank and Blakely.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Brady gets an enjoyable introduction but not much else. (not quite in the spirit of the question – this isn't me going off the character – I just want some good, economic characterisation stuff in later episodes too. some follow-through! but if we're going to talk about lack of follow-through we really need to talk about Westgate)

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: I'm still working out if I have any ships, and the show hasn't been around long enough for me to go off anything

my ultimate favourite character™: I like Crank, Blakely, Doug, DeMarco, Bubbles, Kidd, Hambone, Macon, Crosby, Brady and Rosie (and Claytor and Biddick, brief acquaintances both). if I were to pick one, it would be Kidd – but, as I have said, he is the only supporting character I have a really strong sense of, so it doesn't feel like a fair contest.

prettiest character: Peggy is very beautiful. throw over your man, I say. Paulina, I'm available.

my most hated character: I hate nobody, but I wish the series weren't told from a small number of POVs. BoB manages its large cast better. I would like fewer scenes with Egan &/or Cleven and more scenes centring other characters/dynamics/friendships. (I like the Tuskegee Airmen scenes for this reason; no single POV is centred. also the lack of narration.) I do have sympathy for every character who gets annoyed with Bucky – not because I'm disposed against him, I just think, in context, they're right 🤷‍♀️ (I did want to see him wearing a narwhal horn, though)

my OTP: possiblyyy Kidd/Rosie. possibly. thinking it over. in terms of canon, Helen/Nash had some of the best chemistry in any of the three shows. in terms of friendship possibilities, I want to see more of everyone and everything. and as I think I have made abundantly clear by now, my favourite among the crews we get to see is the Blakely, Kidd, Doug & Crosby lineup of ep 3.

my NOTP: I don't get that invested and I don't read much. the mainpairs, as usual, don't really appeal.

favourite episode: maybe episode 7 or 8

saddest death: I was genuinely upset by Hambone's 'death' (which seemed both horrifying and terrifying) except he turned out not to be dead. probably Bubbles.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: I'm relatively uninterested in Buck and Bucky; I blame the script; I've glanced through Miller's book and find the real guys more compelling. I'm rather indifferent to Lemmons, although I'd like to like him more. (also I like Crosby but I dislike narration unless absolutely necessary and a lot of it wasn't. and he's not a cinnamon roll, he's an everyman, come on now.)

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: I think these shows are fundamentally quite optimistic about people. but I think MotA does a slight injustice to the British forces. and I have already defended Huglin.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: that's the nature of the genre / this is a woobification-free zone. but the Tuskegee Airmen got short-changed. so did Westgate and the Allied intelligence subplot (at least include a glimpse of her in ep 9 so we know she's still alive? during the 'war is over' announcement mayhap? if u really don't have time for more actual subplot, which is just bad planning). a little bit more of Solly would have been nice (maybe a Solly & Rosie scene?).

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: I am a fine upstanding citizen (has anyone considered Biddick/Bryan... not that I consider it wrong and nasty, I just think they could work out their differences/competitiveness some other way... but I am aware the answer is 'no') (this is merely a fleeting thought)

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: could have probably got into Alex/Buck or DeMarco/Macon if they'd had another scene or two. I do not put it past myself to mildly ship Marge/Peggy. I don't really ship it but I think Chick and Red have good chemistry considering their lack of conversations – they seem very used to each other; not sure if JM and SCM had worked together before but their characters genuinely come across like two people with a close longterm working relationship. (I could believe they're together.) Biddick/Snyder deserves a little attention even though I don't have anything to contribute.