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choicesficwriterscreations · 1 year

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CFWC Writer of the Month - Aug 2023: ao719

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @ao719. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: ao719 Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Anitah

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I first started playing in June 2018. The Royal Romance was the first book I played, and I got hooked from the end of the first chapter. At the time, they were midway through releasing TRR book 3, so I binged books 1 & 2 and finally caught up on the day of the wedding, where the chapter ended with the attack at the boutique. Then I didn’t know what to do with myself because it was the first time I had to wait a week to find out what was going to happen.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Finding Tumblr was a complete accident. I was googling something really dumb about Liam and TRR and happened to stumble across a link for a fic on Tumblr. At the time, I didn’t know what Tumblr was; I’d heard of it but had no idea what it consisted of. The fic I came across was around 40+ chapters, and I was in my glory reading this angsty story about Liam, but it wasn’t finished, so when I reached the last updated chapter, I was like, “I need more.” So I opened Tumblr and searched for more Liam fics and found a trove. I lurked for another month or so before finally making my account in September 2018.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I wish I had some good story for it, but it’s the most basic thing, lol. It’s just my initials and a significant date. I think if I came into the fandom with the intention of actually doing something with the blog, I would have tried to come up with something a little more clever and creative, but I had zero intention of doing anything but reading. I thought about changing it a few years ago, but when I learned that I’d have to relink everything in my masterlist, it didn’t seem worth the hassle.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

It’s from the day TRR 3 ended and it’s about how I was sad that it was over but was glad that I had all these stories to read.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’d never written anything until I joined the fandom, so I’ve only been writing for almost five years now. The thought of writing didn’t even cross my mind when I joined the fandom, but within a couple of weeks of making my blog, I had a random idea pop up in my head, and for some reason, I decided to write it down. A few days later, after talking myself out of posting and then talking myself back into it, I bit the bullet. For me to post a story that I wrote was entirely out of my comfort zone. I’m pretty shy and tend to be more of a wallflower, so I don’t usually put myself out there, especially like that, and I’ve never been someone who does something where I intentionally set myself up, knowing there is a very good chance that I will fail. And social media on any platform can be a pretty intimidating and terrifying place when you open yourself up, especially to strangers, even by way of posting a measly little fanfic. So to say I was terrified of posting that first fic is an understatement, but I’m so glad that I did.

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

The Royal Romance will always be my favorite. It was the first book I ever played and was the only one I played for well over a year (I just kept replaying over and over and over until @cocomaxley convinced me to give MotY a try, which I fell in love with). It’s my comfort book. And like every book, it definitely has its flaws, but I love it and the characters so much. And TRR is my favorite book to write about. Liam will always be my number one guy.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

The first fic that I wrote was I Dare You. It’s not an all-time favorite of mine, but I like it well enough that I wouldn’t change anything about it.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

This is tough because I have a few that I love for different reasons, but I think Always You will always be the most special to me because it was the first series I wrote that I can truly say I poured my whole heart into. I love that story, and I love the history between Liam and the OC, their bond, and their relationship.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

When I decided to start Hopeless Hearts, I didn’t think it would be received any differently from most things I’d written before. It was an idea I’d kept on the back burner for over 2 years prior to writing it because I didn’t think it was anything spectacular or out of the box. It turned out to be my most well-received series, and it became one of my personal favorites as well.

I don’t think anything I’ve written has left me feeling as though I wished it had gotten more. I’m still surprised to this day that anyone wants to read anything I’ve written at all, so any love that my fics get is beyond appreciated.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst (but with a HEA). I love putting my characters through the wringer before giving them that happily ever after they deserve. Whether I’m reading or writing, there’s something about feeling the pain and longing they’re going through that gets me emotionally invested. I think that’s why I love the second chance romance trope so much, too. It’s a really versatile trope, but there’s a lot of room for angst in those kinds of stories because of that established history between the characters and a past that tore them apart the first time around.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I think I sprinkle a little bit of myself into all of my MCs/OCs. It’s usually something small like a favorite food, a hobby, certain mannerisms, etc. I think the one that I’ve added more of myself into than any other and can relate to the most personality wise would definitely be Charlotte.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I struggle with all of it here and there, and I’m constantly questioning whether something makes sense, if it’s flowing together, if it’s too descriptive or not descriptive enough, etc. I think the one area I most consistently struggle with is deciding where and how to end because I always want to leave my chapters with a cliffhanger or if I’m finishing something for good, I want to give it the ending it deserves.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have quite a few that are unfinished that I know I more than likely won’t ever pick back up, mostly because I just lost my mojo for them, but there are definitely some that I want to finish. I’d really like to get back to Past Meet Present one day. I don’t even remember why I got off track with writing it, and it’s been at least two years or more since I last updated it 🫣 so I’m not sure if anyone would even still be interested at this point, but I’d really like to finish that along with Breaking Point and Us Again.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No. Maybe. I don’t know, lol. I try to be a “never say never” kind of person, but writing is something that I’ve done for almost five years that literally no one in my real life knows about. Not my friends, not my family, not a single soul. It’s like my dirty little secret. And it’s a little tough because it does get lonely sometimes when you have something that you love doing so much but you just feel like you can’t share or aren’t ready to share that part of yourself with even those closest to you. I’m a pretty self-conscious person, and posting on here where I can hide behind a screen is hard enough; I get nervous and have a good spike of anxiety every time I post something, no matter what it is. I don’t know if I could handle someone who knows me personally even knowing that I write, let alone actually reading something I’ve written. I’ve got the bubble gut just thinking about it 🥴

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

I’ve been lucky enough to talk to and befriend some amazing and talented people in the time I’ve been here who I’ve certainly looked up to when it comes to their writing talents. And there are also those writers who I got to know after I’d been writing for a while that not only continued to inspire me with their amazing stories and talent but who also became a huge support and really close friends. They were and/or are always willing to brainstorm, look over snippets, help in those moments when I’ve been extra critical of myself and feeling very unsure, and/or have just been the absolute best cheerleaders and constantly supportive and encouraging to not only me but others as well. I don’t want to make a list because I always end up forgetting someone and I don’t want to leave anyone out, but anyone that fits that bill above, you know how much I love and appreciate each one of you.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

I’d say either Always You or Hopeless Hearts for a movie. Series I think Full Disclosure with some Charlotte shenanigans would be pretty fun 😂

17- Do you write original fiction?

I haven’t. I’ve been asked a few times about whether I’ve thought about turning a couple of my series into original stories, but I just don’t think I’ll have the confidence to ever do it 😬

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

I do photography. I love calligraphy and making hand drawn quote signs on wood or canvas. I love to read — I’m currently in my fantasy girl era and have been obsessing over the ACOTAR series for months, lol.

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

I use so many to express myself in conversations that I think it would be hard to pick just one. My most commonly used ones: 💀 😂 🥲 😬 😍 🥴 🥹

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I just want to thank CFWC for working so hard to help keep this fandom active and supporting everyone here.

To anyone who’s taken any time to read my stories and interact with me in any way, I appreciate it more than I can say.

This place has been such an escape for me over the past (almost) five years, one I’m still very much in need of. So, whether you’re a content creator, writer, artist, reader, whatever the case may be, whether we’ve interacted before or not, thank you for what you’ve done to help keep this fandom alive.

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #choices the stories you play #writer of the month #ao719 #august 2023 #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic

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avocado-ramen · 10 months

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My Tybalt Exposition

I read somewhere (likely on Twitter, but no guarantees) about people getting really upset with the depiction of Tybalt in the two most recent October Daye novels (Sleep No More and The Innocent Sleep) which cover the same events, one from October's POV, the other from Tybalt's. This is the first time there's been another narrator in the October Daye series outside of short stories/novellas.

That original poster said that while they saw Tybalt's behaviour as problematic in Sleep No More, they had hoped that The Innocent Sleep, since told from his point of view, would clarify matters and perhaps 'redeem' his character. They went on to say that The Innocent Sleep made it much worse, and (I am completely paraphrasing here, I read this weeks ago and no longer have those posts available for reference) that Tybalt was basically abusive trash. If I recall correctly, they toed the line with calling the author a DV sympathizer/apologizer, but it was a near thing.

Even if I remembered where that original post was, I wouldn’t link to it, because I don’t want to bring attention to what they said, nor do I want to risk people piling onto them as is common when people feel like an IP they love is being attacked in any way. I’d rather just make an entirely too long post explaining my own views, and possibly rambling too much and make no sense – because that’s what I do. 😊

As I’ve now finished The Innocent Sleep, I felt the need to get some thoughts down to address some of the things brought forward in that post/thread/whatever I read just after The Innocent Sleep was released.

The author: people need to realise that these books are FICTION. The bonus of writing fiction is that you can safely explore troublesome parts of humanity and society without actually agreeing with those troublesome things.

A significant portion of the books I read have murder happening either on page or off screen in the first few pages because the mystery of a dead body gives the protagonist something to do. Do I think these authors all believe that people should be able to go around killing each other just for fun? No. So why on earth would people think an author including any other kind of violence in their work approves of that violence? This could be it’s own post, and many others have made this point much better than I ever will. Tybalt’s behavior in Sleep No More: We are seeing Tybalt through October’s eyes. Sure, we as readers are privy to the previous 16 books worth of information (even more if we’ve read all the shorts and novellas), but at this point in time, October doesn’t know Tybalt. She’s never seen a Cait Sidhe. She doesn’t know anything about them aside from what Titania’s illusion tells her. From this framing, Tybalt comes across as brash, angry, controlling, and violent. He has a tendency to storm off if things aren’t going his way. To October, Tybalt’s behaviour is completely out of line, and she’d be correct – from everything she knows at this point. Tybalt’s behaviour in The Innocent Sleep: One thing people need to remember before they start applying present-day human morality to Tybalt is that he is not human. At all. He’s fae. Cait Sidhe. He is both a cat and a humanoid, but he is not, and has never been, human. One of the things the author has reiterated time and time again is that both the fae as a whole, and Cait Sidhe specifically, live by an entirely different set of rules than humanity does. Titania hates the Cait Sidhe because she believes they are beasts and below the perfection of her other descendant lines like the Daione Sidhe. As much as Titania is the villain, she’s not entirely wrong. First and foremost, the Cait Sidhe are cats. When backed into a corner, they’re going to lash out. If they’re stressed, or hurt, etc., they’re going to lash out. It’s what they do. I have the scars from my own cats to prove it.

Tybalt knows he is barely in control of his emotions. He freely admits that, and the fact that he at times needs to walk away before he lashes out and does something he’ll regret, which I feel is smart and responsible of him.

Tybalt’s attack on Ginevra in the throne room in Golden Shore is excessive. And it’s meant to be. It’s completely unexpected and jarring in Sleep No More when seen from October’s point of view. In The Innocent Sleep, being in Tybalt’s head, while still a severe overreaction to a situation he wasn’t paying attention to and therefore didn’t have full context of, it is completely in line for how a) a cat would react, and b) how a Cait Sidhe king would react when they believe someone has attacked/injured/wronged someone that ‘belongs’ to them. Does that make it right? No. And Tybalt himself shows as much shame as his position allows when he sees Ginevra at dinner. Do I think Tybalt is an abusive asshole that needs to be shunned, killed off, or whatever other over the top reaction people have had? No. And no, that doesn’t mean I approve of his behaviour or think he should face no repercussions. But context means a lot. I can see when his behaviour is completely in character for his species and title, while also admitting when he’s crossed a line. The benefit of an ongoing series is that it is quite possible that Tybalt will face the fallout of his behaviour in Book 19, or even further. I don’t expect everything to be wrapped up in a perfect bow at the end of each book. None of the characters in these books is perfect (with the exception of Spike, Cagney, and Lacey), and if the author can foreshadow some of the things we’ve seen in Book 16 way back in Book 1, then we can believe she’s got plans for them for Book 19 and beyond.

This is the same author that took one of the most loathsome characters and made me want to wrap him in wool and protect him at all costs (ok, I still want to shake him now and again), to the point that I named my new kitten after him. Please, admire Simon “The Tiny Terror”.

#Seanan McGuire #The Innocent Sleep #Sleep No More #October Daye #Tybalt #Books #my cat

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thewritetofreespeech · 1 year

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Hello I noticed that you posted something about Tsurune I love that anime and I was wondering if you could write scenario where Masaki meets his brother's photographer friend who shows up to the boys tournaments and he starts developing a crush on them.

Masaki Takigawa + Brother's friend

Even after all this time, and all the tournaments, Masaki still got nervous at the start of each one.

It seemed to be worse now that he wasn’t participating. The hopes and dreams of the students he coached feeling heavier than his own. His teachings effecting their dreams, but having no tangible way to alter the outcome from the sidelines. He tried to keep it inside though.

“Oy! Masaki!”

He turned at the sound of his name from a familiar voice. Seeing Ren waving as he walked up. Another person in toe. “Nii-san, what are you doing here?”

“I was in town for some reference work on a new book, so I thought I’d come and see the tournament. You told me about it over the phone, remember?” He vaguely remembered that. “Oh! This is [Y/N]-chan. They’re a photography journalist major at the university. They’re interning with the publisher, so I had them tag along.”

“Nice to meet you.” [Y/N] said with a small bow. “I hope this isn’t too much of a surprise, or disturbance.”

“Not at all.” Masaki assured. “It’s a public event. So all are welcome.”

“Masaki-chan is the coach. But he’s also a great kyudo archer too. And a great guy.”

“Nii-san!” Masaki hissed at Ren’s compliment, while he and his guest laughed it off.

“Well, I’m sure it will be great to watch. I wanted to take some pictures. For my portfolio. We won’t get in the way.”

Masaki nodded and his brother & friend went off to the sidelines for the rest of the tournament.

He didn’t talk to them for nearly the rest of the day. He’d catch sight of [Y/N] now & then. Behind the lens. Hunched down to get a better angle. It was very familiar to him from being around Ren, but he still smiled a little at seeing their passion.

After the tournament was over, Masaki came over to talk to [Y/N] and his brother again. The two already scrolling through the photos. “Did you get any good ones?”

“A few.” [Y/N] replied. Handing him the camera to scroll through himself.

It was only a few pictures in and he could see they were very talented. Very being a still image, there was still a lot of movement to the photos. An energy. A liveliness. He flipped through a few more before he came across a photo of himself. Looking pensive as he waited for Minato to release his bow.

“Sorry. I guess I should have asked if you were ok with your picture taken. I can delete it if you want.”

Maskai blinked and released the breath he was holding. Like he had been in the picture. He handed the camera back and told them, “no. It’s ok. You can keep it if you want.”

[Y/N] smiled. “I can send you a copy? Of the whole roll I mean. That way you guys have some nice pictures of your events. They’re not professional, but it’s a start.”

“Not professional yet.” Ren chided with a wink before he nudged [Y/N] playfully.

“I would like that.” Masaki agreed. Gladly handing over his contact information to get the copies.

“I’ll send them to you later tonight. Once I go through the bad ones. Just text me to make sure you got them. Or…if you want to grab a coffee or something.”

The blunette looked a little stunned before [Y/N] jogged off. “They like you.” Ren cut in, knocking Masaki out of his stopper. “They said you were cute.”

Masaki turned bright pink and nudged his brother in the shoulder. “Nii-san!!” To which Ren laughed, but still didn’t try to stop him when he texted [Y/N] later.

#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers)#Tsurune #takigawa masaki #masaki takigawa #narumiya minato #takigawa ren #tsurune scenarios #tsurune imagine #masaki takigawa scenario #masaki takigawa imagine #scenarios #imagine #masaki takigawa x reader

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shiningshenanigans · 10 months

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When Sacrifice No Longer Feels Loving: Raw, Messy, Emotional Thoughts on Loki Season 2

It’s been a little over two weeks since the season 2 finale of Loki came out, and although it’s been pretty much all I’ve been able to think about lately, I haven’t really been able to put my thoughts into words. And I have a lot of thoughts. I need to get them out of my system, and I’ve tried to write them down on multiple occasions, but every time I do, they keep getting stuck on the way out.

So, I’ve decided to do something different. Rather than trying to analyze the series critically, I’m going to just start writing about how it made me feel, and see where it takes me. I’m not really sure what’s going on in my heart and mind as I reflect on this story, but I have a vague idea of the truth that it’s tapping into. Fair warning: these thoughts are going to get very Christian-y and preachy, so if the gospel is not your thing, I don’t know how much sense this post will make. But, if you’ve been having a similar experience with the season and care to read, I hope that you find some encouragement and truth in these messy, emotionally honest thoughts!

When I try to sum up how I feel about season 2 as a whole, the only word that really comes to mind is “upset.” I’m just upset about it. The morning after the finale aired, I woke up with a deep, hollow pit of sadness in my stomach. I broke down crying a couple of times over the next few days just thinking about certain scenes in episodes 5 and 6, and I couldn’t rewatch the finale for almost a week.

Is it weird to feel this kind of grief over something as simple as a TV show? Yeah, probably. But I think that’s kind of the point. I’d been looking forward to the release of this season for two years. Without getting too personal, I’ve recently been through one of the hardest years of my life. Just this year, I’ve gone to two funerals for people that I grew up with, been in a car crash, faced rejection in a relationship that I had grown emotionally attached to, and mourned with my community as we experienced one of the most tragic shootings in our country's history. The release of Loki season 2 had become a little bright spot in my 2023; something to look forward to in all the madness.

When the first season came out, I remember being overcome by how good it was. It was wacky, and sweet, and funny, and sad, and redemptive all at once. Even in its darkest moments, there seemed to be a thread of hope that ran through the series from beginning to end. Over the years it had become a comfort show, a beautiful piece of art that offered me encouragement when I needed a pick-me-up. Because if a comic book super villain with a long history of screwing his life up can change his ways, make new friends, fall in love, find meaningful work, stand up to his oppressors, and ultimately write his own destiny, then gosh darnit, so can I.

My roommate and I invited our friends over, every Thursday night for six weeks, to watch the new episodes as they premiered. Our watch parties started off full of excitement and anticipation. I even made key lime pie for us the first couple of times, which was a big hit. But as the weeks wore on, and the episodes started to spiral deeper into tragedy, our post-watch conversations became more full of questions and complaints than anything. When the credits rolled on the finale, we sat in an almost mournful silence, watching the screen, waiting with baited breath to see if there would be a post-credits scene. There wasn’t one. You could almost feel a sense of dread fall over the room. That’s it. That’s all they’re going to give us. That’s how they’ve decided to end the story.

I think the first words that were uttered when the Disney Plus screen finally popped up were, “I hate Marvel,” before we all began to voice how we felt.

I can honestly say this has been one of the weirdest, strongest emotional reactions to a piece of media that I’ve ever had. It’s genuinely felt like I’ve been going through the five stages of grief over this show, but the grief isn’t just stemming from the inherent sadness of the story. I’m also grieving the show itself; what it’s become, how it was handled by the people it was entrusted to, and the knowledge that there will likely not be another season to redeem it. I feel angry, unseen and unloved by the writers who set up everything over the course of six episodes to ensure that the finale was as heartbreaking as possible.

At the same time, however, I can’t say that I hated it. A part of me knows that the reason it’s affecting me so deeply is because it’s so well-made. Art doesn’t grip you this much unless it’s objectively good. There are legitimate critiques of the story/filmmaking that I could make and a lot of people already have. The temptation to scoff and say “Michael Waldron wouldn’t have done it this way” and turn all my excitement towards Secret Wars is very strong, but that just seems like misplacing my hope. Underneath all the sadness and the frustration, there’s also a layer of confusion. Am I supposed to be feeling this way? Is this what the writers of this show wanted me to feel all along? And if so, why? What are they trying to say through this story?

I don’t normally mind stories with tragic endings, so long as I can understand the purpose behind them. I remember feeling similarly unsettled when I finished the first season of Arcane, wondering what the point of it all was. But after a little bit of analysis and reflection, I could see how the tragedy was fitting; how the characters choices had led to the ending and the cautionary tale it was trying to tell me. Even in the tragedy, it was still good. I’ve also learned to love the grief that comes with watching a character make a heroic sacrifice for those he loves. I think of Tony Stark in Avengers: Endgame, Janner in The Wingfeather Saga, or Stoick in How To Train Your Dragon 2. All these deaths are heartbreaking and painful to watch, but there’s a certain beauty to them too, and you can feel the goodness and love in their sacrifices.

This one is different, though. Something about this one feels wrong. Something about this one feels deeply, inherently, not good. And analysis is only making it worse.

I’m having a really hard time seeing the beauty in the sacrifice that Loki makes at the end of season 2. This story wasn’t supposed to end in tragedy. It was supposed to be a reversal of tragedy. A second chance for a beloved character (one who has already sacrificed himself for love on multiple occasions) to finally receive some kind of reward instead of punishment.

To end the series the way the writers did feels almost like a stab in the back, a betrayal if you will, of all the hope and joy and restoration that the first season promised. I guess adopted children who are abandoned at birth really are destined to be alone forever, no matter how much love they have to give. I guess villains can’t find redemption, and even if they do, they will not escape eternal punishment for their sins. I guess quarrels between brothers (or lovers) can’t be resolved, and every relationship we cherish is doomed to fall apart eventually. I guess young women like me, who are strong and independent because we’ve had to be, are not worth pursuing, and we should be content with our middle-management jobs and casual friendships as if that is the peak of human existence. I guess we should embrace isolation and selfishness after all. I guess true love doesn’t really exist, and we should walk away from any semblance of it before it makes us bleed.

Bummer.

The night after we watched the finale, I drove a couple of my friends home. On the drive back, I could feel the sadness of the story aching in my gut. I thought specifically about Sylvie, and how unsatisfied I felt with where the story left her. I’ve always connected with her as a character, and I hated the way she had been sidelined throughout the season. Every week, I had tuned in hoping I would see some kind of reconciliation between her and Loki. I just wanted some kind assurance that she loved him back, that they would somehow end up together in the end. One kiss, one hug, just… one conversation, for heaven’s sake. One apology from either side. One confession of love. But six episodes and it never came. Their relationship wasn’t even addressed. It was reduced to subtext, as if it wasn’t the back bone that Michael Waldron built his original pitch off of back before 2021.

I thought about the way she shrugged and smiled when Mobius asked her what she was going to do next, and it just irked me. Why didn’t they tell us what her plans were? Why didn’t they give us some kind of clue? It seemed so obvious to me what she should do. She should make good use of her Tempad and go be with Loki. How could she just walk away, knowing everything he just sacrificed for her? Do people really think she could just… go back to her life after that, with so many things left unsaid between them? If she really does love him, how could she? How could she go through life, knowing that the truest love she’s ever experienced is lightyears away, always watching, always with her, but unable to be physically present with her in a mortal, tangible way? It sounded like such a sad, lonely fate and my heart broke for both Sylvie and Loki as I thought about it.

But then it dawned on me: wait a second… isn’t that what it’s like to be a Christian? Isn’t that the reality I’m living every day, as Christ’s bride? The weight of that realization was so heavy I almost had to pull over on the side of the road because I couldn’t breath. My savior loves me more than anything. He gave up everything for me, just like Loki did for Sylvie. I don’t even know how many rounds he went with the enemy on that cross, just to bargain for my soul. And what do I do about it? I shrug it off with a smile. I forget about it until it’s convenient. I go back to my job, my house, my car, my record store, as if every second of my life hasn’t been paid for by the blood, sweat, and tears of a God who just wants me to be ok. As if I could ever fool myself into believing a life without Him is enough for me.

As if I shouldn’t be fighting like hell to get back to Him. As if love so amazing, so divine, doesn’t demand my life, my soul, my all. Just so you know, I teared up again writing that last paragraph.

A lot of people have pointed out the parallels that can be made between Loki and Sylvie and Adam and Eve. The comparison really does work in a lot of ways. A perfect likeness, a counterpart created for a lonely man because “it is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). One flesh, two halves of a whole. Equals, balancing and complementing each other perfectly. A couple chosen by a higher power to rule the universe with authority. There’s something edenic about that scene where they snuggle in the grass under that blanket together: a man and a woman, wrapped up in a garden of green, completely unguarded and vulnerable with each other. The man promises the woman his protection, and the woman shyly offers him her trust and thanks in return.

When they make it to the Citadel at the End of Time, their parting echoes deeply of the fall. The serpent (He Who Remains) sows seeds of distrust between them, knowing full-well that they are stronger together and could easily overpower him if they remain united. The two halves are torn apart and turn on one another. The woman, in her thirst for freedom, takes control of the situation, and the man fails in his duty to stop her. Free will is unleashed into the world, and with it comes consequence and chaos and danger.

If season 1 can be read as the journey from the garden to the fall, season 2 reads more like the journey from the fall to the cross. Chaos and confusion, spiraling slowly towards death and destruction. Constant distrust between the man and the woman, between God and his bride. An inability to reconcile, to fix what’s been broken. The citadel goes from being Eden to being Gethsemane. When every other option has been tried and all hope is lost, Loki returns to the moment of the fall and pleads with his love, over and over again, to make a different choice. But she will not stop rebelling, even though it leads to her death every time.

Unable to reason with her, Loki confronts He Who Remains to bargain for her life. But there’s no option that doesn’t end in bloodshed. Loki must either kill Sylvie, the woman he loves, and go on committing genocide in HWR’s place. Or, he must break the temporal loom and let the chaos that ensues destroy all of reality. These, according to He Who Remains, are the only two choices. So Loki makes a third choice. Instead of sacrificing others for the multiverse, he makes a total sacrifice of himself. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

It’s not lost on me how weird it is to compare Loki, a marvel super villain based off of a pagan norse god, to Jesus. But the crucifixion/ascension parallels here aren’t exactly subtle. Loki puts on a heavy crown, carries a great burden up a hill, and “dies” on a tree of all things, to save both the woman he loves and the group of friends he’s grown close with during his time at the TVA. His last words to his loved ones before he ascends are, “I know what kind of God I need to be, for you, for all of us.” When I think about the story in these parabolic terms, I’m almost overwhelmed by how much truth is woven into this mythology. And yet, something about it still feels deeply unsettling to me. There’s still a piece missing that makes it feel more like a Greek tragedy than a Jewish parable.

As they are, Loki Seasons 1 and 2 show me a reflection of the fall, the cross, and in some ways, the ascension of Jesus Christ. What they don’t show me is a picture of the resurrection. And any christian will tell you that the resurrection is the most vital part of the story (1 Corinthians 15:16-20). The series shows me sin and what it costs. They show me what is lost in sacrifice, but they don’t show me what is gained. The hero meets a fate worse then death, and is forced to remain there, alone, for all eternity. There are no tearful reunions at the tomb, no assurance that death has been defeated, no eucatastrophe. No curse reversed. God and man are forever separated, and for some reason that’s supposed to be beautiful, according to Marvel. It’s not. It’s a question mark, a gaping wound at the end of the story that offers no comfort. To live in that tension, that separation, in those three days between Christ’s death and his resurrection, is literally the most painful, most hopeless place for the human heart to dwell. But, maybe it’s a tension that we should sit in more often, so that we can appreciate the weight of what Christ did for us.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t really hate season 2 of Loki. It’s a beautifully crafted piece of art, well-written (sort of) and well-acted, with gorgeous production design and a deep, meaningful story at its core. What I hate, with every fiber of my being, is the thought that that is where the story ends. That it’s supposed to end there. That this ending is good. As a Christian, I almost can’t accept it. Everything in me screams that there has to be more resolution beyond the credits of the finale.

That, I think, is where all the pain swirling in my heart around this story is really coming from. And whether they know it or not, I think that’s where a lot of the Loki fandom’s pain is coming from right now. The gospel is so written into our DNA that it pours itself out into every mythology we try to create. We are so desperate for the reassurance that the resurrection is true, that when we get even the slightest hint that it might not be, it triggers our deepest, darkest anxieties. Nothing scares me more than the thought of being alone, separated from God, for all eternity. Not even death is scarier, or more tragic, than that. It is, by definition, hell.

So yeah. Curse you, Marvel. Curse you for telling me a story that hurts like hell, and expecting me to just be ok with it. For giving me an ending that could never, in any reality, be satisfying or conclusive, and then trying to gaslight me into believing that it is. For ensuring that I will probably end up buying a ticket for both Secret Wars and Kang Dynasty (even though I’m really tired of superhero movies) just so that I can see if I’m right, that love really does win in the end. I don’t really have any kind of expectation that the next two Avengers movies are going to give me the closure I’m looking for. But I think I know where I can find it.

As grieved as I am by the way Marvel handled this story, I’m also kind of amazed by the way its incompleteness is revealing to me the total, satisfying completeness of the gospel. Marvel can’t promise me that, at the end of time, the God of Stories will be reunited with his warring bride and live happily ever after in the presence of his inner circle. But the gospel does. And the hope that I find there is immeasurable.

#loki #loki season 2 #loki series #geeking out gracefully #sylki #sylvie laufeydottir #christianity #when sacrifice no longer feels loving #eucatastrophe #ressurection

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yandere-sins · 1 year

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So I thought I’d give a little life-update as there’s a lot going on at the moment and I think it’s visible on my blog as well. Maybe the positives first:

I do really like my new work, I like that I have set hours (even if I do overtime here and there) and though it got incredible stressful the last few weeks, I think the four people that work in my office space are the coolest in the whole company and I love the support I am getting, it’s something I always wanted for my work-life tbh! My dog is also doing very fine, she’s really a total sweetheart and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, and at least I, myself, am doing pretty okay-ish physically, so nothing to complain there.

Now to the negatives.

Unfortunately, my mom’s cancer returned but is quite hard to pinpoint. She went back to an even more aggressive chemotherapy and we’re hoping for the best. Honestly, I don’t wish cancer on anyone, it’s such a tough battle and even just as the primary caretaker it’s been really hard to deal with for me, luckily I have grandparents and a brother who all deal with it and help and support, so that’s good! My mental health though is suffering. It’s biting my own butt now, but I cancelled therapy to focus on work at the beginning of this year and now my therapist is fully booked, so I will have to sit out this month probably. I am telling that because that’s the reason I am struggling with concentrating on one thing for a long time, which includes writing, which explains the fluctuation of posts you are seeing, since I try to get requests and drafts done on the weekend when there’s less stress. Sadly only works like 30% of the time...

Going forward I have decided to indefinitely pause commissions. I have noticed that they put too much pressure with the deadline and expectancy on me when I am already struggling and sometimes need a day to myself. I can’t say when they’ll come back, but thank you all so much for your interest and support, it’s always a pleasure to write your ideas and I never had a bad experience with commission ♥

Good news for Mermay: it’s still happening! ... buuuut I am shortening the story I came up with. I think I was too ambitious with the three routes I teased, so I am trying to figure out how to ensure that it won’t drag out as much as Atreo’s story last year. Unfortunately, the start will be delayed some more, but we were going to celebrate Mer-June anyway, so at this point it probably doesn’t make as much difference (’:

Because the question arose a few times already, I will not be playing Honkai Star Rail. It has a few reasons, but the main one is I don’t have the time. Sorry to everyone who asked about it, but it’s just not the right time for me at the moment! ): I’ll probably be miserable again later when everyone has moved on to it and I am stuck behind but I have to make cuts somewhere ;;

I actually have some commissions and requests that I haven’t released yet, so I will try to schedule some of these in the meantime while I work out how to go about stuff. If you’ve been around for a while you probably know I like routines that’s why it’s always important for me to build them and keep them up. Other than that, I’ll probably focus on Mermay and my own writing projects which will happen rather irregularly. No guarantees on posting, sadly ):

I do realize tho that it just isn’t always possible to keep up frequency of posts and interactions I had when I started this blog, as much as it saddens me. I have to prioritze my real life before my internet presence (and I really need to not feel guilty about taking breaks from everything ever so often ;;), so if you see me vanishing for a few days, it’s just that really.

Thank you everyone who stuck around and supports this blog ♥ There’s another big milestone coming up veeery soon and I am always in awe that so many people would stay to read my silly little stories!! If you have some time and don’t mind waiting for a response, I’m always happy to chat and answer questions, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up!

Thanks everyone ♥

#Admin #Also I found a new editing program that I want to try out soon-ish #if something changes about my writing... it could be my editing ^^'#But Grammarly also now has an AI thingy and bleh #Don't really want to keep supporting it since it's also not really made for non-professional writing stuff

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thebawdybaldurian · 8 months

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Going to be dumping a bunch of post-epilogue scraps that I scribbled down during the 3.5 days I had no power or heat. They’ll eventually get made into chapters of The Tale of the Tadpoles, which I’ll be resuming writing now that I can play through the game again for scene inspiration. Tried to add as much background to the unwritten or important parts of these little bits. I hope you enjoy! I ruined my pants writing it!

Summary and Background: Tav and Astarion enjoy a little afternoon dom and aftercare session, as they navigate their unexpected pregnancy with Halsin.

Tav and Astarion (unascended) have been married for several years, living in Tav’s cottage in the Lower City. Astarion exerts a little control over his wife in the form of gentle task domming, helping her maintain her busy and chaotic life with the Forgetten Realms equivalent of neurodivergency. Halsin is their occasional third when he comes to visit the city. During one of his surprise visits, right after a stressful and tight book deadline, Tav forgets her monthly moon blood tincture, leaving her vulnerable to pregnancy. The married couple do not want children, but want to speak with Halsin before making any final decisions. They have acquired a special pair of rings that allow Astarion to be outside during the day, though transferring his sunlight affliction to his lover. They changed the deed on Cazador’s palace, turning it into a refugee sanctuary for tieflings, called the Elturel Enclave. Astarion maintains an atelier for his tailoring and clothing making, an anniversary gift from Tav.

Content Warning: soft/task domming, pregnancy kink, spanking, anal and vaginal licking and fingering, anal sex, multiple orgasms, cum tasting, dirty talk, aftercare, oral sex, tickling, PIV sex, allusion to possible abortion.

The Hither Thither staff Tav had acquired proved as useful as their blood bond rings. Astarion avoided using the rings when he could, instead utilizing the magical portals to travel between his atelier and their cottage during the day. It was a slow day in the shop and he wanted to check in on his newly pregnant wife and feeling a little frisky. Aside from his cravings for normal food, his sympathy pregnancy was making him even more amorous along with her. He locked the front door of the shop and turned the sign around before heading towards the little closet in the back room. The portal to their cottage was inside, providing quick entry into the hallway between the bath and bedroom. He locked the closet door before stepping though, giving them a little extra security if his shop were ever burgled. The entire bottom floor was quiet, Tav either up in the loft or out somewhere.

He climbed the ladder to the loft, seeing her standing in front of an easel. “Hello love,” he finished his climb and strolled towards her as she glanced back from her painting.

“Hi,” she beamed at him. “Done at the shop already?”

“I thought I’d check in on you,” he embraced her from behind, kissing his favorite spot on her neck. “What’s this you’re working on?” He eyed her new project with a raised brow.

She’d transferred one of her sketches from their figure drawing session last month onto a canvas and was applying a thick base layer of paint to it. In the sketch, Halsin was posed pressed against Astarion’s back, his hands lingering just above his half-hard cock. He remembered the moment in his mind, his cock stirring at it. He slid his hands down her sides, hovering just above her cunt like in the image.

“I do think I am going to turn some of the sketches into an erotic art book…but I wanted to do a few paintings for an exhibition as well. It could be a release party for it,” she brushed a large smear of paint across the canvas.

“Another hugely ambitious project already?” He teased her, glancing back at her still messy desk, the result of her furious book deadline last month and the cause of her unexpected pregnancy. “Are you sure that’s a good idea considering your new…condition?” He slipped his fingers under the hem of her shirt, caressing her warm belly. He wondered how long it would be before she began to show.

“Well, it’s not like I’m going to be an invalid,” she smiled. “Just pregnant. Besides, this is probably when it happened. That day.”

“You think so?” He let his fingers tease under the waist of her trousers now, which she shifted her hips against, hoping he’d move a little lower, her own loins stirring at the memory.

“I believe the night ended with me upside down, full of both your cum,” she giggled a little, grasping the arm that lingered in her pants.

She wanted him to move his hand lower and he knew it. Instead, he moved the hand still on her stomach to the back of her neck, gently resting it there, looking back at the desk again. It was his little signal that he wanted to begin a scene with her. If she wasn’t feeling it, she would just ignore the signal and go about her day. If she was into it, she would obey. She stood up a little straighter and put her brush and palette down. “Am I in trouble?” She asked in a pouted tone.

“Your desk is still a mess,” he whispered in her ear. “And yet you’ve started this new project.”

“But…I wanted to,” she purred. “I’m so horny now that you and Halsin put a baby in me.”

“That’s no excuse,” he grinned, pulling her back a little, towards her desk.

“Are you going to punish me?” She practically begged. She was already throbbing inside.

“That depends,” he finally removed both his hands from her, leaving her standing at attention. “I want you to bend over your desk and I’m going to spank you for every item that doesn’t belong there and you could’ve easily put away.”

“Of course, love,” she nodded obediently, biting her lip in excitement.

She strode over to her desk, putting her hands on it and pressing her ass out a little. “Bare-assed?” She asked with a grin as he approached her.

He nodded at her with his own grin, watching as she unbuttoned her trousers, sliding them and her underpants past her ass. She moved down onto her elbows, sticking her ass out even more. “Look at you,” he slid his hand across the warm, smooth skin of her round backside. Her cunt already glistened hungrily for him. He teased a finger into the wetness, sucking it off his finger. “What would you have done if I hadn’t come home? You’re practically dripping already.”

“Probably fucked myself in my reading chair,” she looked back at him seductively, her hips swaying, begging for him to touch her again. “Or popped in on the shop for a little fun.”

“You wouldn’t wait for me to come home?” He teased her again, using two fingers this time.

“No,” she sighed. “I can’t wait.”

If her cunt could’ve sucked up his fingers, they would have, she was so hungry for him. He gave her ass a light slap.

“You need to be patient, love,” he stroked the slightly pink skin. “You could’ve waited until you finished cleaning your desk before starting a new project, yes?”

“Yes,” she pouted, pressing her ass out even further.

“And why didn’t you?” He teased a slick finger along her asshole, making it pucker.

“Because it was boring. Because I want instant gratification from doing something I like.”

“Good girl, you’re beginning to learn,” he grinned, slipping a finger in each of her holes, making her let out a little moan. She pushed her hips back against his fingers, greedily trying to take more inside her. “Now, let’s see,” he grinned, pulling his fingers out as she whimpered. “These plates of crusts and crumbs could’ve been taken down to the kitchen.” He slapped her ass a little harder, brushing his fingers across the stinging skin after. “The same with these wine glasses, they’ll need to be soaked.” Another sharp slap across her other cheek. She arched her back, biting hard into her lip, a long trail of honey running down her thigh. He loved how much she loved this.

He unbuttoned his pants, an excited breath squeaking out of her. He looked over the desk again, wanting to tease her a little more before getting his cock involved. “These books,” he stacked them one on top of the other. “The bookshelf is right next to your desk, dear.” Another sharp slap across her pale cheeks. “Nail enamel, old lyre strings, an empty tincture bottle and a half-empty one of body oil. My, my, Tav, you’ve been a very bad girl.” Four slaps across her ass, two per cheek.

“Fuck!” she grunted at the last slap, a long string of honey dangling from her sex. He knelt so he could catch it in his mouth, slurping his tongue against her lips as she trembled.

“You like being bad, don’t you?” He teased his fingers in her again, making her arch her back even more. He kissed every inch of her reddened skin, the coolness of his lips easing the sting. “It excites you.”

“I do like being bad,” she cooed, her hips wiggling slightly against his fingers. “It does excite me.”

“Good. The first step is admitting it,” he grinned, fingering her a little more, finally pulling his throbbing cock out of his pants with his free hand. He teased the head against her slick entrance, sliding the wetness up to her asshole. “You offered me this to forget about the mess, didn’t you?” He grinned, seeing the tight hole pucker at him again.

“I suppose I did,” she looked back at him hungrily. She didn’t particularly love anal herself, but she would welcome him however he wanted.

“Well then,” he added another finger inside her ass, warming her up for his thicker cock, lubricating it with some of her honey and the convenient bottle of oil she’d left. He spread her legs further apart, teasing his cock against her again before probing it in just a little. She clenched a little in anticipation, holding in her breath. “Relax, love,” he didn’t push any further yet. “Let that breath out.”

She did, letting her breath out slowly, looking into his loving eyes. She knew he would never cause her any pain in pursuit of his own pleasure. She inhaled deeply and then let it out slowly as he eased a little deeper into her tight hole. “Good girl,” he praised her, satisfied with this depth for now, sliding slowly in and out of her.

“Gods,” she trembled, gripping her fingers into the desk. It wasn’t as pleasurable as him inside her cunt, but the fullness of him inside her was a sensation of its own.

Each slow thrust she eased a little more, allowing him more of her depth, until his balls finally met her thighs. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he quivered against her as she took all his cock. He leaned against her, circling his hips inside her, the hand not guiding her hips rubbing across her clit.

“I need you,” she whimpered as he eased back to thrusting against her, her clit pounding. “I need you to fill every inch of me.”

“I’m going to fill you so full of cum, you’ll taste it in your throat,” he increased his pace a little, still being as gentle with her as possible.

“Yes, please, oh fuck,” she writhed against his hand on her clit, a short little climax squeezing out of her as he fucked her ass.

“You feel so good,” he moaned, his balls slapping gently against her soaked cunt.

“Please,” she breathed heavily, her climax flushing across her face. “I want to watch your cock fuck my ass.”

He smiled and eased out of her completely, her asshole gaping and still hungry for him. She grinned happily, kicking off her trousers, flipping over, and sitting on the edge of the desk so he could lift her hips. She gripped the edge with her fingers as he did, taking a sloppy kiss from his lips as he leaned over her. “Do you need a break? Water?” His tongue engulfed hers. He also knew her asshole didn’t offer much to her own pleasure and wanted to make sure she was still enjoying herself.

“Mmm,” she kissed his mouth again, leaning back and bracing herself. “I want to taste you in my throat,” she grinned, splaying her stockinged legs widely.

He grinned devilishly back at her, taking his cock back in his hand. He teased it against her entrance again, coating the head with more of her honey. She watched as he slid every inch back into her slowly. He guided her hips with one hand, returning the other to her clit, returning slowly to his previous pace. They grunted and moaned as he fucked her ass again, the tightness of her hole bringing his climax quickly, his balls vibrating against the desk as he filled her with his seed in one last thrust and groan. He kept himself inside her, looking into her eyes as she trembled, another climax ready if he pressed harder onto her clit. He pressed and rubbed her, ready to feel her muscles clench against him. “Fuck,” she squirmed, her filled asshole joined by a few of his fingers inside her cunt. “Oh fuck. I love you so fucking much,” she writhed, her legs bobbling wildly as she came again, her cries echoing up to the roof, her high pitched breaths following. “Fuck,” she sighed and slumped back against the desk, the top shelf digging her upper back. “You’re amazing.” His softening cock finally slipped out of her ass along with his cum, joining the puddle on the floor underneath them.

“I love you, even sitting among this mess,” he leaned over and kissed her deeply, gently rubbing her thighs. “Was that alright? Can I get you anything?”

“A bigger desk, for more mess,” she laughed, nipping his nose playfully with her teeth. “That was so amazing, love. I’m glad you came home when you did.”

“Me too,” he continued to massage and caress her, starting her aftercare. “I’m going to put you in a bath now and then perhaps we can go desk shopping at dusk, after we clean this all up of course. I’d like some space to be able to do some designing at home. Deal?”

“Deal,” she smiled.

He slid his fingers down her thighs, hooking them at the tops of her stockings, pulling them down her legs so he could get her fully undressed. He kissed her calves, the glistening of her cunt still distracting him. “One more, darling?” He asked, kneeling in front of her, licking his lips. He didn’t take her ass often and was always overly gracious when he did. He also hated seeing all that honey going to waste.

“Really?” She grinned, climbing off the desk, so the shelf wasn’t digging into her back. He almost always managed at least two out of her, three or above if he thought she needed more.

“It’s the time to start pampering you, my sweet, with our little elf growing inside you.” He tickled his fingers up her calves, planting kisses on her knees.

“As long as you still treat me like a dirty little slut from time to time too,” she grinned, planting a leg over his shoulder, offering him full access to her juicy cunt.

“Oh, I intend to breed you every night until you start to show,” he grinned, burying his face between her legs. He lapped up her sweet honey, catching a bit of his salty cum with it. “Do you know how to make salty honey tarts?” He grinned, his sympathy cravings returning again.

“I do,” she giggled as he left sucking kisses around her clit. “Something else you want to sample?” If he didn’t swallow any of the solid cravings he tasted, his stomach would cooperate for the most part.

“Mmmhmm,” he took another generous lap of her cunt.

“Can you…mmm,” she moaned as his mouth engulfed her, taking a handful of his curls in her fingers. “Oh…can you wait until…fuck…until Halsin gets here? Gods damn you. Uh. Fresh honey…tastes best and he..oh he always brings some…ohh.” She braced herself against the desk again as his tongue ravaged her. “Oh, Astarion, fuck, Gods,” she quivered as she came again, squeezing out a last river of honey into his mouth.

“It does taste best. I suppose I can wait,” he smiled up at her, his mouth and chin covered in her. She bent down to kiss him, pulling his face up, tasting a bit of herself on his lips.

“Did I mention that I love you?” She pinched his rosy cheeks. He got so pink when he was excited.

“When you were coming the second time,” he smiled. “Though I never mind when you repeat yourself.”

“I love you for the first one too then,” she kissed his forehead, smoothing the curls she’d mussed as she’d come. “Very ready for that bath now,” she stretched, pulling her shirt over her head. He stood up and pulled at the bow of her cotton bodice, loosening the top so she could slip it off as well. She tossed it onto her desk where she’d left her shirt, knowing he would chastise her for more clutter. Instead he circled his hands around her breasts, cupping them gently.

“Are you tender yet?” He asked, brushing his thumbs across her nipples. “They are already the slightest bit swollen.”

“Oh are you a pregnancy expert now?” her face blushed. They were a little tender.

“I borrowed a book from the nursery while we were at the enclave yesterday,” he planted a little kiss on each excited nub. “Your milk won’t come for a few more months. I’m going to have to make you a whole new wardrobe.”

“Thank you Dr. Ancunin,” She teased and gave him a gentle peck on the cheek.

“Take down your hair so I can wash it,” he requested as she headed towards the ladder to the ground floor. “I’ll get your bath started.”

She climbed down the ladder, padding to the kitchen naked to look for a snack, pulling at her messy braid. He went to the bathroom to start her bath, pulling out some bottles for cleansing her hair, scrubbing her feet, and softening her face. She would be getting a full spa day experience, he decided. He took a moment to wash his cock, the post-cum tenderness gone for it. Given their shared libidos, it would be in use soon enough. He rolled up his sleeves, testing the water temperature of the copper tub with his hand. She lingered in the doorway, chewing on a bit of dried fruit. “You’re spoiling me,” she patted his head lovingly. He was sat on a stool beside the tub, his tray of bottles set out and ready for her.

“No more than you do me,” he gently caressed her leg again.

They loved to bathe one another or together. It was a place to be naked and vulnerable and taken care of. He began to cup water over her skin after she’d climbed in, caressing her softly. He’d learned so much from her own care of him. Being able to do the same for her made him incredibly happy. “Dunk your hair please, my love,” he asked. His strict routines for her, keeping her on task and schedule just scratched that little itch of control that he needed after a lifetime with only compulsions from his master.

He massaged some shampoo into her wet hair, sudsing her copper locks and cleansing her scalp. “Mmm,” she let out a sigh as his fingers tingled her head. “Any more pregnancy facts you can share?” She grinned. She was pleased he was as invested enough in this pregnancy to be both informed and have sympathy symptoms, despite the fact they wouldn’t be keeping the child. They were almost certain Halsin would want to raise it, but they still had to prepare for the possibility.

“You might notice some hair loss,” he replied, motioning for her to dunk her head again to wash away the shampoo. “But you have plenty of it.”

“What if I go completely bald?”

“I will shine up your little head until even I can see my reflection,” he teased, moving on to her facial. He swiped the blue-tinted mask across her skin, leaving it to dry and moved behind the tub to massage her neck and shoulders. She hunched and craned her neck during her work so often, her muscles were always tight here. “You’ll be in here, a lot, between morning sickness and bladder pressure later on. So you’d better help me keep it tidy.”

“But I’ll be pregnant,” she whined playfully.

“You’ll be more emotional…than usual,” he teased, moving down to her feet as she made a face at him. He scrubbed them one at a time, massaging her soles and flexing and pulling her toes a little. “You might feel a little more stiff and sore, so you need to go easy with all your little acrobatics.”

“The wheelbarrow was probably how I got pregnant,” she grinned, the memory of both Halsin and Astarion holding her legs aloft, filling her with cum, making her stir yet again. “What about the extra horniness?”

“Throughout the duration, dear,” he bit into his lip deviously.

“The neighbors will be sure to complain again then,” she laughed as his fingers tickled her foot slightly.

“Are your feet ticklish too?” His smile twisted, his fangs showing even more. He hadn’t tickled her into a fit of giggles for a while.

“No…” she lied, knowing what that smile was thinking. “Don’t you dare.”

He seized on her immediately, tickling her soles with his fingers, making her kick her feet.

Water splashed everywhere, but he didn’t care. She was already getting pulled out of the tub eventually so she could ride him on the floor. The extra horniness was one of his most prominent sympathy symptoms too. He tickled his way up her body, his shirtsleeves soaked. She laughed and thrashed against him, yelling “but my weak pregnancy bladder!”

He relented when he reached her head, pulling her in for a kiss as she caught her breath. She pulled at his shirt, desperate to get it off. “Nine months of this?” She bit her lip as he peeled his wet shirt off, seeing the hunger in her eyes as well. He hurriedly spread a towel out for them as she climbed out of the tub, pressing him to the floor and straddling him. Her wet fingers pawed at his pants, eager for the bulge inside them. He took control of his buttons with a grin.

“Can you wipe the mask off, dear, so I don’t feel like I’m getting fucked by a drow?”

“You wouldn’t fuck Drizzt?” She teased, reaching for a small towel.

“Who wouldn’t?”

“But I am Lolth’s Chosen,” she did her best impression of Minthara’s gravely voice, wiping the mask away. Her skin was bright and radiant underneath, bringing out her freckles a little more. “You’re going to fill me full of your sticky webs and put even more children in me.”

“Alright, I want a divorce,” he joked as he made a face at her. Without even a lick of the tip, as she normally did, she managed his entire length in one quick motion of her head, angling her throat to take what couldn’t fit in her mouth. She pulled her lips slowly back, leaving a long trail of saliva on her chin as she looked up a him.

“I think all the retching has made me lose my gag reflex temporarily,” she grinned. “Still want a divorce?”

He didn’t have time to answer, the moan he made as she swallowed him again sounding more like a second marriage proposal. She sucked him until he was trembling, then climbed back up his body, mounting him without another word. This was a quick and urgent fuck, no prolonged teasing aside from her mouth. Their long, drawn out sessions were great, but sometimes they just needed to fuck. She grinded on him in a dizzying rhythm, her wet hair slapping against her skin. The soaked towels underneath them squished, as his cock swirled around her wet cunt, the wet sounds punctuated by their moans. They spoke and talked dirty during their longer forays, helping him stay present and active with her. These quickies they just listened to their bodies, moans, and breaths. They knew each other too well.

Her sharp, urgent breaths told him she was close, but needed something more, so he thrusted his hips against her a little harder. She squeezed a little more as he slid out of her, keeping his cock engaged and milking his climax closer to hers. Her flurry of swears, meant she was now there, her body going slightly slack as her head swam. Her high pitched cries told him he’d gotten her g-spot too. She collapsed onto his chest as he pulled her hips down, filling her with his seed again with guttural cries. They snuggled happily together despite the cold tile floor, slowing their breaths together. She nuzzled up his neck, reaching his lips for another kiss. “Do you think one thousand orgasms during this entire pregnancy is a reasonable goal?”

“For both or just you?” He grinned. She raised her eyebrow at him like he didn’t need to ask. “With Halsin’s help?” He smirked, pulling her in for another kiss before they dried off and set to work cleaning the messes they’d made. “Very likely.”

#astarion #astarion x tav #ao3 #astarion ancunin #tavstarion #astarion x tav x halsin #daddy Astarion

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xxwhisper255xx · 1 year

Text

Part two of this post. Thank you so much for reading! I’ve been dealing with quite a bit of pain myself lately so I was able to use my own experiences.

Ominis

MC lay on a plush lounge, grateful that they had brought it into the undercroft a few weeks ago for her to rest on. One arm was slung over her face, the other hanging off the side as she tried to ride out the pain. It had been moving to different parts of her body all day. Her knees had hurt so she sat down. Then her back had hurt so she stood back up. Then her hips hurt so she tried to stretch. She had eventually stumbled to the couch and decided to just lay as still as possible in hopes that it would all go away.

The loud clanging of the gate made her jump and look to the entrance, which caused a shooting pain through her neck.

“MC?” Her friend called out. Upon seeing the boy with the familiar red tipped wand, MC went back to her previous position.

“Hi Ominis.” She mumbled.

“Are you alright? Can I do anything?” He offered.

“I’ll be fine, thank you though. What are you doing?” She replied.

“The common room was too loud for reading, so I thought I’d read here. Is that alright or would you prefer to be alone?”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind the company.” She peeked over at him as he took a seat on the floor nearby. “What are you reading?”

He pointed his wand at the open book, and she could have sworn she could see a faint blush on his face. “It’s some muggle story Anne recommended. She thought I would enjoy it.”

MC paused for a moment before speaking up nervously. “Could you read it to me? I would really appreciate the distraction,”

Ominis looked surprised. “Of course,” he agreed.

He began reading, and MC vaguely recognised the story as a fairy tale she heard in her childhood. The familiar story and her friend’s comforting voice made it easy for her mind to drift away, picturing it all in her head.

Ominis had just finished the third chapter when he heard light snores coming from the direction of the couch. He chuckled, summoning a blanket to cover his friend. “Sleep well, MC.”

Anne

Dear MC,

I have heard from Ominis about your new condition, and wanted to ask how you were doing. I understand how it feels to lose control of your body and am always available if you wish to discuss any of it.

I thought I could share a few things that have helped me, in hopes that it may do the same for you. I have found that during a particularly bad bout of pain, it helps to focus on my breathing. Try breathing in as deep as you can, holding it for a moment, and releasing it as slowly as you can.

Another thing that may help is visualisation. Try to think about what makes you happy and focus on that. Try to experience it with all of your senses. I often imagine myself walking at the beach with my favourite people, smelling the ocean. Or laying in a pile of puffskins, feeling their fur under my hands.

One of the most important things is to learn how to pace yourself. Take breaks and please avoid taking on too much at once.

I’m sure my brother will become overbearing in his attempts to help you, so do not hesitate to tell him to back off when you need to. Please do not hesitate to rely on your friends, myself included.

Your friend,

Anne Sallow

MC felt her eyes tear up at the sweet note, having a newfound love and understanding of her friend and their similar experiences. She closed her eyes and decided to try the visualisation that Anne had suggested.

She saw her friends, smiling and cheering for her during duels. She heard their laughter as they recounted stories of the first years at Hogwarts. Tasted the sweet, familiar taste of butterbeer. Smelt books and freshly brewed potions. Felt the wind on her face as her broom sped through the grounds.

MC opened her eyes and found herself smiling. She grabbed a piece of parchment and her quill, ready to respond to Anne’s thoughtful letter.

Sebastian

MC immediately realised it was the pain her stomach that had woken her up, and rolled over with a groan. She had woken up earlier unable to move without feeling nauseous, and quickly sent Professor Weasley an owl to say she wouldn’t be in class, before falling back asleep. It was well past noon when she woke up again, and found a fresh cup of tea at her bedside. She was very grateful for Deek, as he always seemed to know what she wanted before she even asked.

Deek peeked his head in the room as she sipped her tea. “Mister Sallow is here to see you. Should Deek let him in?”

“Yes please. Thank you Deek.” MC slumped back onto her pillow, not having the energy to rise and meet her friend.

“Hey sleepy head,” the slytherin greeted, sauntering into the room. MC knew she must look like a mess, but couldn’t bring herself to care in that moment. She would be mortified that he saw her in that state once she felt better though.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” She questioned.

“I have a study period, actually.” He came over and hovered by the side of the bed.

“Go on, have a seat,” she rolled her eyes. “Tell me what I missed.”

He slowly sat on the side of the bed. “Well, I kicked Leander’s ass in a duel again, Weasley blew up another potion, and I found Ominis asleep on the floor.”

“So nothing new?” She teased, giggling before wincing at the movement.

“Where is it today?” He asked sympathetically.

“My stomach,” MC groaned, pushing her face into the pillow. “Could you please get my hot water bottle? It should be on the desk in the main room.”

Sebastian returned a few seconds later, handing it to her. MC sighed contently, placing the bottle on her stomach.

“How did you get the temperature so perfect? I usually end up making it too hot or cold.” She asked, snuggling into the heated object.

“I just practised a heating charm until I could control the temperature,” he shrugged.

“You did that for me?” She sounded surprised, laying on her side holding the hot water bottle on her stomach.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” He smiled. MC smiled back, curling into a ball and sighing in content as her muscles began to relax.

“Do you need anything else?” Sebastian asked, lifting a hand to move a piece of hair behind her ear. MC glanced at him nervously, a blush covering her cheeks. “Well, my back kind of hurts too, and i suppose it might help if I had a heat source on that side too,” she said with a joking tone. Sebastian chuckled, kicking off his shoes before moving to the other side of the bed. He joined her under the covers and pulled her in so that his chest touched her back. MC blushed even harder, but soon found herself relaxing into him. “Well, do you use the charm on yourself or are you just naturally warm?” She mumbled.

“Just naturally hot I suppose. Lucky for you,” he teased. “Now close your eyes, I’ve got you.”

The warmth of his arms around her and the tickle of his breath on her ear quickly lulled MC back into a slumber. She would wake up later feeling more rested than she had in months.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #anne sallow #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow x mc

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illfoandillfie · 10 months

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#2, hope this is cute lol

running into Ben at a bookshop and he’s flirting and offers to carry your books home but it’s also the day of a big sale there (he has to carry lots of books and it's very heavy even for his muscly self?)

Blurb Advent 2023: Day 9

This is an absolute attack on me, thank you.

Warnings: nothing! it's just some cute flirty fun

Walking into a bookshop invariably lead to you leaving with more books than you’d intended to buy. It was dangerous for your wallet. So you’d made a rule for yourself. You were on something of a book buying ban until your local bookstore had their annual big sale event, at least until you’d read more of what you already owned. Which meant, despite three of your favourite authors releasing new books and a whole lot of FOMO when you saw what everyone else on booktok was reading, you hadn’t really bought a new book in quite a few months. It had been going well, you’d made a good dent in your collection, but it was finally time. You’d seen the bookstore posting on instagram that the sale was coming and had immediately began planning your Saturday around a trip to the store. You mentally plotted out a route through the store that started with grabbing one of their cute wire baskets the supplied and would let you hit up all your favourite genres without too much back and forth. Then you made a physical list of all the titles organised by priority – the titles you needed at the top and ones you were possibly interested in but less sure of at the bottom. And finally, you made the decision to head in early. Not quite at opening but not too long after so as to beat whatever rush might accumulate later in the day.

Your plan had gone off without a hitch and by about 10 AM you had a basket in hand, four books already tucked into it and a fifth you were slipping back onto the shelf since the blurb didn’t sound as interesting as you’d initially thought. You were just grabbing out another book (not on your list but the title was intriguing) when you heard someone say your name. There, on the other side of the shelf was Ben. Ben who you’d matched with on Bumble and been out with a couple of times. You’d got the distinct impression he was into you, but the timing hadn’t been right and things had sort of fizzled out before they got very far. But seeing him now you felt a little a bad about that and wondered if he was still single. “Hi Ben, nice to see you,” He came round to your side of the shelf, and there was a slightly awkward moment where you contemplated going in for a hug but wasn’t sure if it was appropriate. Thankfully Ben saved you from yourself, leaning in to give you a peck on the cheek, “Yeah you too, hows it been?” “Oh yeah, y’know, work’s been a bit crazy but can’t complain. How’ve you been?” “Good, just got back from the States a couple of weeks ago where I was staying with a mate, so that was nice. Good to get back home though, even if it is a bit quiet, just me.” You happily filed that away, much more confident that he was still single and still interested. Ben nodded towards your basket of books, “Taking advantage of the sale then?” You glanced down and laughed, “Yeah, excatly. Plus I figure it’s good karma helping out an indie store like this one. More I buy, better for them. I didn’t know you came here.” “Well it’s a little further than I usually go but I saw they were having a sale and I remembered you’d mentioned this place, so I figured I’d have a look.” You blushed a little that Ben had remembered the store so long after your date. He kept speaking to distract from his own slight blush, holding up a book you only recognised by the cover, “My mate’s been recommending me this one so I figured I’d give it a go.” “Well hopefully he has good taste,” you smiled and then wished you could think of something else to say. You supposed your own imminent purchases would make sense but you didn’t know how to talk about them without explaining your list and your buying ban and really that was too much. But once again it was Ben to the rescue, “How many more are you planning on picking up?” You laughed, relieved one of you was good at conversing, “Not sure yet, when they start overflowing I’ll stop.” “Well, if you need a hand picking them up, let me know.” All you could do was smile and nod, pleased at the unexpected turn the day was taking. “Right, well, better let you get back to it then.” “Yeah, thanks, um, see you around?” “Yeah, definitely. You’re number’s still the same right?” “Mmhmm,” “Cool, maybe I’ll call you sometime.” “I’d like that.” Ben nodded, smiling, “Alright, well, see you later then.” He gave you a last little wave as he headed towards the front of the shop.

You were entirely distracted from your shopping, mostly wondering when he’d call and if you should call him first and if so when. Without meaning to you’d gravitated towards the romance section, entirely out order from your plan, so you shook yourself and focused back in on your list, grabbing out another one you’d had your eye on since you’d watched a TikTok about it. A few times during your shopping your eye was caught by some blonde hair and whenever someone with a heavier footfall moved behind you, you’d look up hoping Ben was back. And then you’d tell yourself to get a grip and stop acting like such a dork. But finally, your basket very full and another couple of books in the crook of your elbow, you decided you were done. You’d found most of the ones you’d wanted as well as a few impulse buys that just seemed interesting, and you were ready to pay for them. Saying as little prayer for your bank account you headed up to the counter, joining the queue behind an older woman who had a Jane Austen themed puzzle in one hand and her purse in the other.

“Well, this is awkward,” Ben said from over your should and you turned to find him directly behind you in the line. “Ben! You’re still here.” you’d expected him to have left after your conversation stopped but couldn’t pretend you weren’t pleased to be wrong. “Yeah, I um, I was going to go but I don’t have any other plans and there were a couple more things I wanted to look for so I decided to hang around. I would have said hi again but I didn’t think you’d want me interrupting your shopping.” “Are you kidding? We could have done some shopping together, compared books.” “That would have been fun,” He sounded a little disappointed he hadn’t thought of it, “But something tells me if we had I’d be leaving with more than the three books I found. You sure you got enough?” "No but I can only carry so much,” you laughed, liking the way he smiled when he teased you. You were interrupted by the cashier calling you forward, Ben called to the second register a moment later. He of course got through paying a lot faster and you watched him walk towards the exit even while you made polite small talk with the woman ringing up your books, but were pleased to find he was waiting just outside when you were through.

He noticed the four bags you were grasping straight away, “Are you right with those?” “I may have gone a bit overboard,” you laughed, “seriously considering getting a cab home.” “How far do you live?” “Not that far really. About a quarter of an hours walk.” “Oh that’s nothing, I can give you a hand. Save you the cab fair.” “Probably good I don’t spend too much more today. But only if I’m not putting you out.” “Not at all. I told you, no other plans. So,” he made a give them here gesture with both hands and you gladly handed over two of the bags. “And the others,” he said, grabbing them before you could say anything. He seemed to have an easier time with them than you did though he grunted a little as he adjusted them in his grip. “You don’t have to take all of them, I can carry some.” “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got them. Just lead the way.” “Well if you insist, but I feel bad about it.” “You carried them all around the shop, your arms must need a break.” he said, trying to sound natural but failing a little when he had to jolt the bags to readjust them again.

You had thought that maybe half way he’d have given you at least one of the bags if not two, but when you suggested as much Ben shook his head and asked if it was straight ahead or round the corner. You felt bad every time he shifted the bags, trying to balance their weight more, and every time he made a little grunt at the strain. But you had to admit it was kind of hot, seeing his muscles flex as he strained to hold the bags up, his face flushing more the longer you walked. And it was very sweet of him to offer to help. So you decided that when you finally got home you’d have to invite him inside for a cool drink. And maybe offer to massage his big strong arms too.

#my writing #my blurbs #blurb advent 2023 #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #ben hardy imagine

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foreverisntenough · 2 months

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Hey bae, I saw your post earlier but was busy so thought I’d take some time to sit down and really reply. Full on wish I could voice note on her because crikey this will take me a while.

First things first, your books…wow.

All I have to say is wow, they’ve brought me so much comfort to the point I actually lay in bed of an evening and re-read the chapters randomly picked over and over again because I just love their story.

Engagement is irrelevant, yes it will boost your confidence but you shouldn’t be writing this story for everyone else it should be because you want to. The joy these 2 books have brought people from what I can see is incredible and that’s what you should take from it.

I never used to engage with books up until you released yours because I’d worry about putting my profile out there, so I’d just read in the shadows with a cheeky like and be done with it. From doing this myself I can imagine there a lot of other people out there who want to reblog but not publicly so can’t, it also takes people a while to comment as I know it’s scary thinking ‘what if the account doesn’t reply’ because I do think we all forget we have no idea who is behind these accounts and when you put it like that it’s a lot.

Regarding your time why don’t you set a schedule? Before it was every 3 days so why not do it to either once or twice a week (it pains me to say that cos I literally want a new chapter every day!) but this could really help.

An idea I had whilst writing this was that maybe on a Tuesday do a one shot and then on a Friday release a chapter. Play around with timings but I know between 5-7pm is a time a lot of people are active.

By giving a day and time to post and elating everyone know that it will help because it reminds people.

Also maybe when writing bring things from the past in, I.e. the Lv Duffel bag Y/N saw when they first got together in ‘ours’, the way you bring the necklace into the chapters is so clever and it will keep people engaged because you’re drawing the past into the present.

I hope these words help because honestly I know I’d be so so sad if you were to stop writing especially because we have another baby on the way!!!

Ooo another idea quickly maybe make this pregnancy completely different? To switch it up a bit.

I’m rambling now but I hope this helped babes because the books are truly incredible! X

UGGHHHH girlie <3 Wow this made ms so emotional.

Thank you for such a kind message. I hope that even in 'You're Mine' and 'Ours' ups, downs, smut, and fluff it brought some people comfort being invited into their lives.

You're right. I am writing these because I had the idea and desire to want to create this world.

Thank you for all your suggestions and feedback. I really appreciate your honestly and willingness to help me.

I love throwing in little tidbits from previous chapters. I think the bag will return. I just thought of a few ideas the other day to incorporate before I wrap it all up.

I love the rambles lol. I am going to probably conclude 'Ours' in Chapter 30 but I can always come back for some one shots or cannons.

ily. ily. ily. thank you so much for reading.

✨🤍🫶🧸

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therecordchanger62279 · 4 months

Text

11 NEW PLAYLISTS

A few months ago, I did a post with 163 playlists I’d created for my iTunes program. Since then I’ve added 11 more, so I thought it was time for an update. Number of songs on each list follows the title in parentheses.

1969 (131) For some time now, I’ve been wanting to create year-by-year playlists of my favorite singles. I think 1969 was the best year in the history of recorded music, so that seemed a logical place to begin. A Billboard book of Top Chart Hits from this year was indispensable.

1970 (153) More hits from the first year of what was Rock and Pop’s best decade. A Billboard reference book is, again, a must.

Dylan ’75-’76 (74) Bob Dylan’s 1974 tour with The Band seemed to kickstart a renaissance period for him that carried him through 1976. This playlist begins with the January ’75 release of Blood on The Tracks, and follows with The Basement Tapes released in June of that year. The Rolling Thunder Revue live shows from Volume 5 of The Bootleg Series is next, followed by the Desire album released in January ’76, and finishes with the second leg, and final shows with the Rolling Thunder band in Spring of ‘76 captured on the Hard Rain album.

Gram Parsons (90) Gram Parsons influence on Rock is so pervasive that he deserves his own playlist. I don’t have his International Submarine Band recordings. If I get them eventually, they’ll lead off this playlist. Instead, I begin with the original version of The Byrds Sweetheart of the Rodeo album. Parsons joined the band, and took them in a Country direction that had them playing The Grand Ole Opry at one point. But Parsons left the band before the album was issued, and Roger McGuinn wiped Parsons’ lead vocals from the tracks that featured them, and replaced them with his own. But The Byrds boxed set had the originals in it, so I simply reconstructed it, and that’s what I used here. That’s followed with all of Parson’s recordings with The Flying Burrito Brothers. Parsons first solo LP, GP follows that. I used a live album called Fallen Angels Live 1973 next which was done after that album was recorded. Grievous Angel, Parsons’ last album released in 1974 closes his portion of the playlist. You can end it there, but I have a CD titled Return of the Grievous Angel: A Tribute to Gram Parsons that features 13 tracks by musicians who were influenced or worked with Parsons including Emmylou Harris, Chris Hillman, Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow, and many more. The remaining track belongs to Eagles whose Bernie Leadon wrote a tribute to Parsons released on their 1974 On the Border album titled “My Man.”

I.R.S. (103) Miles Copeland’s legendary I.R.S. Records was a player in the indie label sweepstakes that surfaced during the years of the New Wave in the late 1970s. Among the bands who recorded for or were connected to the label were R.E.M., The Go-Go’s, The Police, English Beat, Lords of the New Church, Spirit, Black Sabbath, Human Switchboard, The Alarm, The Bangles, The Animals, General Public, Timbuk 3, Concrete Blonde, The Fleshtones, dB’s and more. This diversity is one of the label’s trademarks, and makes for a great playlist.

Joan Jett (135) I’ve been a fan of Jett’s since The Runaways days, and I have quite a few of her albums, but I’ve neglected her in recent years, so I thought a playlist was in order. I also used to be in her fan club because the fan club occasionally issued some rarities on CD – which makes this playlist special, and comprehensive. It begins with 9 tracks Jett wrote or co-wrote, and recorded with her first band The Runaways. Following that are some early recordings before she signed with Neil Bogart’s Boardwalk label. These appeared on the fan club release 1979. Next up is Flashback, another rarities collection from the fan club. From there it’s Bad Reputation, I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll, Album, and Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth – all on MCA. Her next album Up Your Alley was her debut for Columbia. Pure and Simple follows that. I used three tracks from the Fetish compilation not available elsewhere, and two more rarities from Fit To Be Tied, a Greatest Hits collection. The playlist closes with her 2006 set, Sinner. That’s 30 years of Joan Jett altogether.

The Rolling Stones ’75-’77 (95) Bob Dylan’s 1974 tour with The Band was one I followed in the pages of Rolling Stone magazine, and that’s where I got the Rock journalism bug. I followed Dylan from then on, and 1975 - ’76 was a great 18 months for Dylan. The memories of that are what lead me to create the Dylan playlist above. But at the same time, The Rolling Stones were prepping for a Tour of the Americas, as they named it. But things didn’t get off to a great start. Guitarist Mick Taylor announced he was quitting the band just weeks before the tour was to begin. The band brought The Faces’ Ronnie Wood in to fill the void, and put off the job of getting a permanent replacement until after the tour. With no new material ready, the band’s label issued Made in The Shade, a 10 track hits collection drawn from their four previous albums. The Stones incorporated most of that record into their live set, and hit the road. In the meantime, Abkco issued a collection of outtakes titled Metamorphosis in an effort to cash in on the tour. So, the new albums competed in the marketplace while the band played on. With a new guitarist aboard, the shows were sloppy, and critics were merciless. They were also ignored. The tour did record business, and when the band got off the road they began the audition process for a new guitarist, and they cut the Black & Blue album after settling on Ron Wood as a permanent member.

A European tour was booked beginning in Spring of ’76. Love You Live, issued in 1977 drew tracks from both The Tour of Americas, and the European leg in addition to a live set the group played at the El Macombo club in Toronto, Canada. While there, guitarist Keith Richards was busted for drugs, and the band was out of commission until his legal troubles were settled.

The release of a live set from the Tour of the Americas, and the complete El Macombo set along with Love You Live, and the two studio albums paint the picture of two years in the life of The Rolling Stones from June of ’75 to March of ’77. The playlist brings it all back.

Santana ’72-’73 (23) Caravanserai, Santana’s fourth album released in 1972 marked a new direction for both the band and its namesake. Following the completion of Santana III, Carlos Santana began playing with drummer Buddy Miles for a tour. They released a live album in June of ’72. At the end of that month, the Santana band played a show for the closing of Bill Graham’s Fillmore, after which Carlos Santana began recording with Mahavishnu John McLaughlin. Caranvanserai was released in October, and the Love Devotion & Surrender sessions began in late ’72, and finished in early ’73. That album was released in Spring of ‘73. The live record with Buddy Miles, two tracks from that Fillmore performance, issued on Fillmore: The Last Days, followed by the studio record with McLaughlin track the guitarist’s path, and that’s what on this playlist.

Santana ’73-’74 (44) Picking up from where the last playlist left off, we have the next Santana group album, Welcome. That’s followed by a Japanese tour issued as Lotus which captures two different Santana bands in concert. And to finish 1973, and this playlist we have the studio album Borboletta. By the time Santana would surface again in 1976 with Amigos, the band he’d had would, once again, have new members, and a new sound.

Stiff (57) One of the great indie labels from England’s Punk era, the Stiff catalog is a difficult one to organize. It was primarily a singles label. And collecting the noteworthy ones for a playlist can be daunting. I needed help from Google, and you have to be careful which tracks to use. Elvis Costello, Nick Lowe, and Graham Parker were all on Stiff, but none of them for very long. Ian Dury, Rachel Sweet, Madness and a few others had longer tenures. Dr. Feelgood, The Pogues, Kirsty MacColl, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Ian Gomm, The Adverts, The Damned, and Any Trouble also made noteworthy contributions. Not an easy playlist to compile, but the music is all great, and well worth the effort.

UK Underground (241) After Psychedelia washed Pop away in the UK in the late 60s, there was a period of transition to what became known as Progressive Rock. I named this playlist UK Underground because it chronicles a number of lesser-known bands and labels from what was a very interesting period in the history of British Rock. There are a number of label compilations from the Harvest (A Breath of Fresh Air), Vertigo (Time Machine), Charisma (Refugees), Polydor (Spirit of Joy) and Island (Strangely Strange But Oddly Normal) imprints that, combined with one covering the Ladbroke Grove scene (Cries From The Midnight Circus) along with early tracks from Yes (Yes and Time and a Word), Giles, Giles & Fripp (The Cheerful Insanity of), Pink Floyd (Piper At The Gates of Dawn), and The Moody Blues (selected tracks from Time Traveller), give an excellent overview of a time in British Rock when the landscape was changing. It all fits together well, and nicely covers the years 1968-1974. Bands like Hawkwind, Hatfield & The North, Caravan, Bodast, Tomorrow, Strawbs, and Soft Machine will also add variety and depth.

You can ask Spotify to make you a playlist, but it’s more fun, and makes a better playlist if you do it yourself.

#Playlists

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lsdunesarchive · 1 year

Text

L.S. Dunes On A Year Of Collaboration, Community, And Venturing Beyond The Realms Of A ‘Supergroup’

Words by Maddy Howell Photo by Kevin Estrada August 8, 2023

Frank Iero and Travis Stever reflect on the genesis of the project, the creative lifeline it provided and the current honeymoon period that suggests the best is yet to come.

With the entire live music industry shut down in the midst of a global pandemic, starting a band may not have sounded like the best idea back in 2020.

As all touring plans ground to a halt and inspiration became limited to the confines of four walls, for many creatives it would have taken something truly special to defy the stagnation that thrived in such darkness – but as luck would have it, that’s exactly how the story of L.S. Dunes begins.

Starting out life as a group chat between long-term friends during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, L.S. Dunes was born from a sheer desire to create and a refusal to succumb to nature’s obstacles. Over the last year three years though, it’s blossomed into something much more powerful than any of its members could have imagined.

“In the beginning, it was a big lifeline,” guitarist Frank Iero starts.

“Our industry was one of the first ones to go and the last to come back, but this band gave us hope. It gave me the ability to be creative in a world that was virtually void of all creativity, and at a time that we were all struggling. Most of us had tours booked, and we were ready to go when the pandemic happened, so when we came home the darkness began creeping in. This gave us a light at the end of that tunnel.”

Creatively starved and writing remotely with no expectations, it wasn’t long before the five-piece realised this was more than just a lockdown project to stave off their boredom, and by the time the first demo was finished – they knew they had something special.

youtube

Embracing a healthy competitive spirit and challenging one another to step outside their comfort zones whilst adding their own unique mark to each track, the creative freedom saw them venturing into new realms of prog-rock, post-hardcore, and emo. As more and more ideas came together, it wasn’t long before a debut album had formed, and with ‘Past Lives’ – L.S. Dunes was truly born.

“I was so excited for people to hear the record because I loved it so much. However, there were those thoughts creeping in before the release like, ‘Are we crazy? Have we been locked up for too long?’,” Frank laughs.

“I had moments where I’d be tearing up listening to the record because I was so proud, but then I’d stop and be like, ‘Wait a minute, this is insane!’,” guitarist Travis Stever adds.

“We had to remember not to put too much weight on how people would perceive it. If you’re making art, it’s hard not to do that, but we were very lucky in that sense.”

With a star-studded line up also featuring Anthony Green (Circa Survive, Saosin) along with Tucker Rule and Tim Payne (Thursday), after the surprise single drop of ‘Permanent Rebellion’ ignited the internet in late August 2022, anticipation for a debut show was at an all-time high.

Having only practiced in the same room as one another on two occasions prior, a performance at Chicago’s Riot Fest was a bold move for show number one – especially with Frank pulling double duty with My Chemical Romance headlining the night – but at Douglass Park on September 16th, L.S. Dunes took to the stage for the first time.

“It was beyond what any of us expected. We were getting ready to go out there thinking, ‘If there are a few hundred people out there, that’s cool!’,” Travis laughs.

“All of a sudden, we got on stage, and even though we only had one song out – people knew every fucking word to that song. It was exciting to watch them hang onto every other melody we were playing too. It was pretty mind blowing.”

“It’s certainly the biggest first show I’ve ever played with a band!” Frank smirks.

A mammoth debut show that could arguably have gone one of two ways, L.S. Dunes’ landmark set filled up the tank and left its five members itching for more, rounding out the year with further shows across the US and Canada before hopping across the Atlantic for their first shows in the UK and Europe to celebrate the new year.

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A busy schedule triggered by the triumphant return of the live music industry, the last twelve months has seen L.S. Dunes balancing their duties with the responsibilities of their other respective projects, as well as fulfilling their family roles outside of music, a feat that has seemed remarkably natural for the five-piece.

“When real life came back, and we were able to go back to our respective bands and do other things… that served as testament to how much we love L.S. Dunes. It’s easy to focus your energy and creativity on something when nothing else exists, but when everything else came back we still wanted to be a part of this.” Frank explains.

“It’s like being a dad. You’re never truly prepared to have a kid, or another kid, but somehow you find a way. You find the extra love in your heart, and you find the extra time to dedicate to something that you truly care about, and that’s how it felt with this band. Schedules are difficult, but they’re not insurmountable. Anything worth doing is a little hard to do.”

Touring across the US throughout the summer, they’ve come to realise that whilst they have a deep love for this band and the journey it’s taking them on – there are thousands of strangers who love it too.

With people across the world connecting to the songs on ‘Past Lives’, as they’ve witnessed people showing up at venue doors hours before they open and shared the artwork sent to them online by talented fans, L.S. Dunes have begun fostering a passionate community of their own unique creation.

“As artists we often wonder if we’re the only ones who like what we do,” Frank explains.

“When people go out of their way to show their support, it’s a wonderful feeling, but it is a bit shocking. In the beginning, I think there were people who just wanted to see what it was about because they were fans of our other projects, but we’re treading into the territory of people just being L.S. Dunes fans. That’s an incredibly fulfilling feeling.”

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It’s how L.S. Dunes have been able to shed the ‘supergroup’ label first plastered on them upon their line-up reveal, having proved the project worthy of its own merit through the spirit of their live shows.

A constantly growing entity, new ideas have been explored within every rehearsal and practice they’ve had, and whilst finding time to record and release those ideas may be a little harder to schedule – when it happens, it’s magic.

Most recently, they headed to the desert to record two new tracks at the legendary Rancho de la Luna studio in Joshua Tree, California, with producer Alex Newport (At The Drive-In, The Mars Volta). With filmmakers Pat and Nick Demarais capturing the recording process for a documentary titled ‘Limitless Sky’, it was the first time the five of them had been able to record music whilst in the same room.

“You need to be in the room with one another to be able to hear things and respond immediately. That immediacy is lost when you’re recording remotely, and to be able to react, evolve, and change on a dime is so fun,” Frank recalls.

“The stars aligned for us with that opportunity, and it was such a fun thing to do within a group of friends. When something like that happens, it becomes a milestone within your band. It’s proof of what you can do if you set your mind to it, and I can’t wait for people to hear the other song that we did out in the desert. It’s a night and day scene – ‘Benadryl Subreddit’ is the days in the desert, and ‘Old Wounds’ is the nights spent out there.”

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As the first year of L.S. Dunes draws to a close, the five-piece find themselves in a unique position.

The product of five extraordinary musicians with extraordinary ambitions, the special qualities of each member can be heard in everything the band creates. Funnelling their individual creative inspirations into a project defined by infinite possibilities, every voice is equal, every idea is valued, and experimentation is the key to forward motion.

From the passion of their live shows to the sheer joy that radiates when they speak of their future, it’s clear that L.S. Dunes is the favourite band of everyone within its ranks. Proving that greatness can be achieved with the help of hard work, friendship, and a healthy dose of fun, with a second LP already well underway – largely written whilst on the road together – they’re showing no signs of slowing down.

“We’re working on all this new material, but the other side of it is showing that we’re taking it seriously,” Travis explains.

“You have to consistently be out doing shows and touring, and luckily, we love doing that.

“With all due respect to our other projects, this is one of the funnest bands I’ve ever been in,” Frank finishes.

“I love the camaraderie within the band, and we’re still in our honeymoon period! You can put in a lot of work with other bands, and although it’s fun, sometimes you need a little vacation – this is a vacation band for me.”

#ls dunes #l.s. dunes #m: anthony green #m: frank iero #m: tim payne #m: travis stever #m: tucker rule #lsd: 2023 #in: aug/23 #t: photo #t: video #t: text #ph: kevin estrada #misc: interview #p: knotfest #archive[ane]#‘Benadryl Subreddit’ is the days in the desert and ‘Old Wounds’ is the nights spent out there.” aight this is really cool

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apocalypsewriters · 1 year

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I posted this snippet a few days ago and thought I should release the whole poem into the world. Enjoy!

I am not a Romantic.

That’s Romantic with a capital R.

But there is something to sunrises. I’ve seen hundreds

And still could watch a thousand more.

Pale golds stretching fingers into clouds,

spinning them into sugar across an indecisive sky.

The air is made young by morn

And sweet by birdsong,

Even among concrete trees far

From metropolis of forest. It is inevitable and infinite,

Infantilizing in nature, starting the world anew.

But sprawling forests, drowning

Plains, mountains, and valleys steal my breath

Before giving it back a hundredfold.

A simple symphony of trees whispers

To their shrilling occupants. Company rustles

In every bush following ghosts of the millions

That came before them, treading the same trail.

Among green so dense, I can pretend there is nothing

But wind and rain shaping the earth, sparing none in its path.

But there is something gloriously equalizing

In the silence of a waterfall.

With gentle frenzied hands, it carves

Through mountains and their peaks until freefall.

Mist kisses rocks, teasing ferns and algae into bloom.

Dragonflies flicker like stars

Among froth and reeds in wordless synchronised chaos.

I am not a romantic.

That’s romantic with a little r.

But if I could wake up to my family

Snoring in a glorious cabin every day, I’d feel

Carnally home. Under cotton and down sheets,

A dozen or more of us coexist in a blanket

Of care and comfort. I’d lay there forever, the only one

Awake, knowing contentment, knowing love.

But the midnight after prom makes me believe in love.

I went alone with the closest family I found

At school, all two of them.

Alcohol and sleepiness loosened my mask,

Sent my tongue flying to spew words I held

Behind barred lips. Brain fuzzy, phrases tripping,

I laughed myself to sleep with my best friends.

Their presence sits with me in anything

I do, itching to share with them both.

But turning pages to reunions and first times and hand-holding

Makes my heart swell. Whether

The fictional are destined to find each other or

Coincidence writes them to find their mirror,

I burn through books

At breakneck paces. The human experience

Immortalized in ink, echoing authors' desperate

To be remembered. Their togetherness

Brings a smile to my eyes and tears to my chin.

I am aromantic.

That’s aromantic, one word.

But I am afraid of being alone. Connection is

Heralded as inevitable, inescapable. But my connections

Aren’t seen as enough. But I might be left behind

For romance, tossed aside in friendship.

But even though there are people, I won’t have

My person that I’m supposed to bring everywhere.

But I’m afraid that I will be left with a hole in my chest,

Trying to fill it with butterflies that flit away to be together.

But there are few like me.

I wasn’t born speaking the language

Of four out of five people my age.

But there are others who don’t understand

That language, yet I get lost

In their conversation. We are unaddressed and left

Undressed and alone, together. I tug

On the sweater sleeve and it all turns to yarn

In my hands as I lose the thread of conversation.

And I am adrift in a colourful sea, threatening to drown.

But I will find company in platonic romance.

My love multiplies, dividing my heart into infinite

Treasured pieces, unencumbered.

Because there will never be The One

Because there are so many to love.

We found friendship first and I will hold it

Forever. My feelings won’t be fickle, instead

Flourishing in gardens of affection.

While romantic happenstance escapes me,

Platonic suits me fine.

#poetry #writeblr #writing #aro #aromantic #my writing #ive had this poem floating in my head for months #and it finally exists

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ruthserbel · 1 year

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Fanfiction Information [x] Chapter Title: Oblivion (part 2) Song: Oblivion by Bastille Release Date: April 22nd, 2023 Word Count: 5.4k Content Warnings: Harassment (aka, past Conan warning) Notes: Firstly, I'm glad people liked the 'past Aria' story I've put in. I needed to add it if I wanted to do post book 2 story lines, so glad people liked it. :) I've put a poll at the bottom of this chapter. Please answer if you have time, as that will let me know what to write for the next chapter. I'm unsure if people would want it written, that's why I'm asking. I can just 'skip over' writing it, or I can write it. Don't want to write something people aren't going to like/want :)

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Jasper’s POV

Jasper walked with Aria and Lily back to Aria’s room while he pondered what Ruth wanted. In the few weeks that he had been here, Ruth had never asked to meet with him alone. The two had the never been alone either, so he wasn’t sure what to expect when he went to meet Ruth. But, he did have questions of his own to ask Ruth.

Growing up, he had always been protective of his sister, despite their age difference. She was the one who took on the ‘mother’ role for him when he was younger. She had taken care of him while sacrificing a lot of her time to do so. Jasper always felt bad about that. He knew that if he hadn’t been around, things could have been different for her. Would she possibly be married at this point with a family of her own?

Once he had heard that Aria and Ruth had spent the night alone, Jasper’s protective side kicked in. He wanted to question Ruth about it. In the back of his mind, he knew it wasn’t his place to interfere with. He knew his sister would be angry if she found out, but he was still worried.

Jasper left the girls alone in Aria’s room, telling them he’d see them later as he made his way to the library. Ruth spent much of his free time there, so Jasper knew that was a good place to start his search. This was the first time Jasper was entering the library, as he never had an interest in books.

Once he reached the door the library, he slowly pushed the door open, stepping inside. Looking around the library, he spotted Ruth sitting at the table with a few books in front of him. Ruth didn’t even lift his head as Jasper entered.

“Hello Jasper,” Ruth greeted, as he closed the book he was currently reading. “If you wouldn’t mind…” Ruth continued before Jasper had taken a step further in the library. “Could you close the door behind you?” Ruth questioned as he placed the book down onto the table and leaned back in his chair.

Jasper followed his request, closing the door behind him. Once the door was closed, Jasper made his way over to the table, but he didn’t sit down just yet. He was about to start his questioning, although Ruth cut him off before he could do so.

“Your sister seems better today,” Ruth noted.

“Yeah,” Jasper replied, thinking back to the previous day. ‘Is that what this is about?’ Jasper thought to himself, still unsure of what Ruth wanted him for.

“I actually have a question about that,” Jasper started, as he placed a hand on the desk. “My sister was here last night, wasn’t she?” Jasper questioned, looking at Ruth.

“Yeah, she was… She came in… I’d say halfway through the night,” Ruth replied, and he pointed to the chair in front of him. “She stayed there, claiming she wasn’t able to sleep,” Ruth explained further.

Before Jasper was able to ask another question, Ruth spoke again. “Jasper...” Ruth started, leaning forward in his chair again, maintaining eye contact with him. “Has your sister ever had issues with any mercenary?”

Jasper thought back to the conversation him and his sister had had the previous day. She had assured him that there was no chance that any of the new arrivals could be Conan. Now Ruth was asking him about mercenaries.

“Did… she tell you anything about…” Jasper murmured, trailing off. He knew that there was no way she would have spoken to Ruth about that. Jasper let out a sigh after a moment before he nodded. “Yes, she has.” He answered.

They both stayed silent for a moment. Ruth waiting to see if Jasper would elaborate on his answer anymore, Jasper lost in thought. Once Ruth was sure that Jasper wasn’t going to say anymore, he questioned him again.

“Did that mercenary happen to be named Conan?” Ruth inquired, watching Jasper’s reaction to the name as well.

Jasper stayed silent for a few seconds. He kept himself composed, although the angry emotion he felt threaten to show. “Why?” Jasper asked through gritted teeth, not answering the question.

Ruth knew the answer from his response, letting out a small sigh before he spoke. “Your sister saw him yesterday,” Ruth explained. “I believe,” Ruth emphasized. He paused for a second before he continued “that is the reason for yesterday’s events…” Ruth finished.

The two of them stayed silent for a minute. Jasper thought back to the previous day. His face started to pale, his mind also playing back previous memories from his childhood.

After the silence, Jasper pulled the chair out that was across from Ruth and he sat down, leaning back in the seat.

“Conan…” Jasper started, his voice expressing anger he repeated the name. “Was someone we knew when we were growing up… My sister would have last seen him when she was 15.” Jasper took a deep breath, attempting to calming himself down. “He…” Jasper stopped for a second, thinking of the word he wanted to use. “Tormented my sister for a while... then when he wasn’t getting his way, he switched tactics…” Jasper explained, trailing off.

Jasper looked down at the table for a moment. He wasn’t sure if he should be talking to Ruth about this, as it was also about his sister. Aria had never fully talked about what had happened with Jasper himself.

“What do you mean by that…?” Ruth questioned after a moment, causing Jasper to look back up at him.

“I…” Jasper started, sighing slightly. “I don’t know if Aria would be okay with this…” Jasper murmured, lifting his hand to run through his hair.

“Jasper,” Ruth started, sitting back in his chair again. “He knows you and Aria are here... He saw you three yesterday,” Ruth stated before he continued. “I just want to understand the situation. I could talk to Riftan if I did... But, if you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”

Jasper thought for a moment. 'He knows where here...' he thought to himself. Aria's reaction the previous day was starting to make more sense to him now. Jasper knew it would be better to explain this situation, at least his side of things to Ruth. It meant that he could possibly save his sister from going through the same things as she had from the past.

“I will tell you my side of it,” Jasper said after a moment. “If you want my sister’s side, you will have to talk to her about it... But good luck getting her to say anything about it,” Jasper muttered the last bit. He had tried getting her to open up about it for years, with no avail, so he was sure she would never open up to Ruth about it. “If you are fine with that, then I will explain.”

“Alright,” Ruth said with a nod, waiting for the explanation to begin.

“First things first,” Jasper started, as he folded his arms across his chest. “Conan was a friend Aria had growing up, even before I was born. Our village was small, and there weren’t many kids. At that point they were the only ones of that age group, so they spent a lot of time together, or so I’ve heard.”

“When I was 5 or so… things started to change with their friendship.” Jasper explained, letting out a short sigh as he thought back.

“Jasper! What are you doing up there?” Aria questioned, as she ran up to the tree Jasper had climbed up on. “Why did you let him do that, Conan?” she questioned the other boy who was standing on the ground looking up at him.

“He’s fine Aria, relax,” Conan said as he looked towards Aria instead. “Besides,” Conan started, as he wrapped his arm around Aria. “I’ve gotten him out of your hair for a while,” Conan said as Aria pushed his arm off of her.

Jasper watched as Aria swatted his hands away, and she took a step away from Conan again. “It’s not a fine,” Aria replied. She let out a deep sigh before she looked up at her brother again. “Jasper… Are you able to climb down?”

Jasper looked down at the ground, then back at the way he had gotten up. “Um…” He started, as he swung his leg over the branch. Once his leg was over it, he felt his balance go.

The only thing stopping him from falling off was his hands which were grasping as best as they could to the branch. “No,” he replied to Aria as he hung there.

“Conan,” Aria screamed, as she watched her brother dangling. “How did he get up there? Please get him down!”

“I lifted him up there,” Conan replied with a shrug as he looked up at Jasper. “I can help him…” Conan trailed off, looking back to Aria, a smirk growing on his face.

"Please," Aria pleaded with a groan as she saw the smirk appear on his face.

"Only if," Conan started. Jasper didn't hear the rest, which caused him to look down. He saw Conan whispering in his sisters ear.

Aria scoffed at Conan’s request, shaking her head. “I’d rather injure myself catching him” she muttered as she walked over so she was closer to her brother. Conan leaned back against another tree, watching.

“Jasper,” she called up to him.

Jasper looked down at his sister. He felt his panic start to kick in as his fingers started to lose grip. “Aria… I’m going to fall…” he stammered, his voice laced with worry.

Aria’s face paled as she heard the worry in his voice. She looked towards Conan after a moment of silence. “Fine,” she hissed as she stepped back.

Conan pushed himself away from the tree with a smirk on his face again. “Perfect,” he said as he made his way over to the tree that Jasper was on. He effortlessly climbed up, perching himself on the branch that Jasper was on. Reaching down, he grabbed onto Jasper’s arm, and lifted him back up. “Hold onto me,” he said to Jasper, who quickly wrapped his arms around Conan’s shoulders.

Just as quickly as Conan had jumped up there, he was back down on the ground. Jasper released his grasp on his shoulder once they were on the ground.

“Jasper,” Aria said as she went over to him, bending down to give him a hug. “No more climbing trees,” she warned, as her hug lingered for a bit longer.

“Okay,” Jasper agreed with a nod.

Once Aria released Jasper she turned to Conan. He was still smirking, standing beside them. “Don’t you ever…” she started, before she was cut off as Conan pulled her in, kissing her.

Aria let out a small shriek and pushed him away.

“You said,” Conan pointed out, looking towards Jasper, speaking to him. “Thanks.”

“Took me a while to understand why he was thanking me,” Jasper explained. “Or why he had kissed her. I guess that was his proposition," Jasper explained. "He had put me into danger, only to get my sister to agree to something...” Jasper sighed, taking a moment before he continued, Ruth listening quietly.

“Conan acted, and did things like that for a while. Although he did stop using me for it, mainly because Aria wouldn’t let me be alone with him after that.” Jasper explained, before continuing. “Aria started spending less time with him after that as well. But there were still times where they were alone…”

“Was any adult aware of this?” Ruth questioned as Jasper stopped speaking.

Jasper shook his head in response. “Aria didn’t inform any adult until way later... Although I feel like she wouldn’t have informed anyone if they hadn’t seen anything...” Jasper answered - trailing off as he thought back.

Jasper turned his head in the direction of the sound, ignoring the threat that was coming from Conan. He felt his sister move beside him, and he reached his hand out, gripping onto the fabric on her sleeve. After a moment of silence between the three of them, the source of the noise was revealed.

Aria and Jasper’s father walked out from the forested area, looking at the surrounding area. He then looked from Aria and Jasper Conan before he started speaking. “What is going on here?” He questioned as he looked back to Aria, who's cheek was starting to go a deep red from the sudden impact.

Jasper lightly tugged on Aria’s sleeve after a moment of her silence, but Aria stayed silent.

“Conan hit her,” Jasper finally replied, looking towards Conan now. Conan dropped the smirk that had been on his face as Jasper spoke. “He hit her, then pushed me down,” Jasper elaborated.

“My father dealt with it that night,” Jasper explained to Ruth. “I explained all that I could to him. Conan was no longer allowed around us, which neither of us were opposed to,” Jasper continued.

“Everything was fine for a few months. Aria had started to spend her free time reading books. She had read every book that was in the village... Some of them she even read twice once she ran out of books,” Jasper chuckled as he spoke. “It took her mind off things, and kept her busy, so my father didn’t complain.”

“After a few months my father and I needed to take a day trip outside of the village.” Jasper started after a moment of silence. “We asked Aria if she wanted to join us, but she declined, saying she would just stay in and read.” Jasper sighed as his gaze shifted from Ruth to the books in front of him as he continued his story. “The next part is where I can only speak from what I know of,” Jasper said, as his looked back to Ruth.

“My father and I left in the middle of the morning, and we were back just after sundown.” Jasper started, letting out a sigh after a moment. “When we got back, we were met by Lily’s father who said it would be better if I stayed at their place for the night. As a child I didn’t think much of that request until I overheard conversations later that night.”

Jasper rolled over, letting out a yawn. He opened his eyes, confused as to where he was, but he quickly remembered. “Oh right,” he mumbled as he got up, making his way to the door of the bedroom.

“Water,” he mumbled as he reached the doorway. Jasper stopped walking once he heard voices outside the bedroom.

“It won’t do any good to go and do anything right now,” Henry - Lily’s father claimed. He held his hand out in front of Eric – their father, stopping him. “No one knows where Conan went,” he added as he lowered his hand once Eric stopped making his way to the door. “We’ll deal with him when he shows up again,” Henry said before he lifted the glass that was in front of him, taking a sip from it.

Eric let out a loud sigh before he turned back to the table and sat down again.

“How was she when you went over there?” Henry asked, setting his glass back down on the table. He pushed the glass closer to Eric, gesturing for him to take a drink if he wanted.

“She’s resting right now... Beatrice is with her right now,” Eric explained, before he took the glass, taking a sip from it as well. “I… I thought this was dealt with,” he sighed as he set the glass back down on the table, empty now. “He had left her alone for months now…”

Jasper took a few steps back into the room. “Aria,” he whispered. He hadn't thought about it when they had gotten back, but he now found it weird that he was staying the night here.

Jasper looked around the room, thinking of a way to get out and go see her. He thought about trying to sneak past the men out in the other room, but he knew he would get caught quickly. He turned his head to the window. “Maybe…” he pondered as he walked over to the window in the room, bringing a chair that was in the room with him.

Jasper climbed up the chair, standing on it, and he pushed open the window. “Now…” he whispered as he pulled himself through the window, making sure to not fall. “Better than I thought,” he said to himself once he was outside.

Jasper walked towards his house, opening the front door. He tried to make as little noise as he could, but it didn’t matter in the end.

“Oh, your back already… Oh...” Beatrice titled her head as she walked down the hallway from Aria’s bedroom. She wasn't expecting to see Jasper entering the doorway. “Jasper…” she said with a small sigh.

“I want to see my sister…” Jasper admitted sheepishly as he waited by the front door, expecting to send back.

Beatrice held her hands out and motioned for Jasper to come over, to which he did. He hugged Beatrice once he got to her, being picked up.

“You’re almost too old to be picked up anymore, Jasper,” Beatrice said with a soft giggle as she held Jasper.

Jasper shook his head in response to her statement. He then turned his head to investigate Aria’s bedroom, as much as he could see.

Beatrice followed his gaze and sighed softly. “Jasper… You really should go ba-“ Beatrice started before a soft voice came from Aria’s bedroom.

“Jasper?” Aria called out, hearing his name being said.

“Aria!” Jasper exclaimed, moving in Beatrice’s arms to get down. Beatrice set him down on the ground, but kept a hand on his shoulder, holding him in place.

“He is here, but I am going to send him back to my place for the night...” Beatrice answered Aria, and before she could speak to Jasper again, Aria spoke again.

“Please… Let him come here,” Aria replied.

Beatrice waited a moment before she lifted her hand off Jasper’s shoulder. "Okay," she said softly, letting him go into her bedroom.

Jasper walked towards the room his sister was in, Beatrice behind him. He walked through the doorframe. The darkness in the room made it hard to see, but he was able to make out his sister, who was laying down.

Jasper stood still for a moment, unsure of what to do. He could tell that something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t see anything due to the darkness. He saw her lift her arm, and gently pat the spot beside her. “Come here,” she whispered.

Jasper made his way over, carefully laying down beside her. “Are you okay?” Jasper asked after a moment of silence between the three of them in the room.

Aria didn’t reply at first, she just moved the blanket that was on top of her, so it was also covering her brother. Once he was covered up as well, she ran her hand through her brother’s hair. “I’ll be okay,” she finally replied. Her response confused Jasper, but he couldn’t ask another question as she fell back asleep again.

“I remember laying there for a while, not able to fall asleep,” Jasper mentioned. “I wasn’t expecting to see what I did in the morning time though,” he said, as he ran his hands through his hair. “From what I’ve gathered, and heard from people, as I was never told...” Jasper continued as he let out a sigh, his hands dropping back down. “Conan had waited until we left, and went to go pay her a visit,” Jasper said, emphasizing words in his sentence. “She had some bruises, and a few cuts on her,” Jasper explained. “I understood why they didn’t want me to see her,” he muttered.

“After that, she was… different... ”Jasper trailed off, thinking for a moment. “I would try to talk to her from time to time, but she always seemed… distant…” Jasper explained, letting out a sigh.

“A few years later my father informed me that Conan had went and become a mercenary... I don’t think it was by choice,” Jasper added. “Since that news, Aria has always been cautious around any mercenary. Unsure of when he would show up again, although… She did go back to normal with my father and I after hearing that news.”

Ruth stayed silent for a moment, giving Jasper a moment to collect his thoughts. “Thank you for the explanation,” Ruth said after a moment.

“Like I said,” Jasper started quietly. “It’s not all of it… Aria would be able to give you everything, if she would talk about it. She’s never told me anything about it though.”

“I’m not going to ask her to talk about it,” Ruth insisted, leaning forward in his chair. “I don’t think that would be a good idea, however…” Ruth said, trailing off for a second. “I will say, I will do everything I can to keep him away from you three. I’ll also speak to Rifta-“ Ruth stopped as the door to the library opened.

Both Jasper and Ruth turned to look at the door as Riftan entered the room. “Should have known,” he said with a huff, before he walked further into the room.

Jasper looked back and Ruth, thinking of the last words Ruth had said. “No,” Jasper said, getting Ruth’s attention. “Don’t. Let me… at least talk to her first,” he said quietly as Riftan made his way over to them.

“Ruth, if you don’t mind, I need you for something,” Riftan said as he walked up to the table.

“Okay...” Ruth replied, looking from Jasper to Riftan, answering both of them.

“Go to the construction area. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes, I need to grab someone else.” Riftan explained as walked back out of the room, leaving the door open behind him.

“Well,” Ruth said, as he stood up. “I better go then,” he added as he started to walk away from the table.

Jasper called out to him again, asking a question. “Why did you want to know this?” Jasper questioned, not looking at Ruth, but instead out of the window in front of him.

Ruth stopped walking, turning his head to look at Jasper after his question. He silently contemplated an answer, as he wasn’t quite sure himself. “I…” He started, thinking again. “It’s something I can’t quite explain myself,” He replied.

“Alright,” Jasper said, before asking another question. “What are your feelings towards my sister?” Jasper questioned, now looking towards him. He had gotten sidetracked earlier form his questions. But that was still one that lingered in his mind.

Ruth's POV

Silence enveloped them for a few seconds as Ruth thought. He himself wasn't quite sure of how to answer that question. It's true he didn't hold normal feelings towards her, but how would he explain it.

Ruth caught Jasper’s eyes before he answered him. “Aria’s… kind of like air to me,” Ruth replied, a small smirk forming on his lips at his answer. He knew that didn't answer his question, however that was the best he could respond with. He watched Jasper’s face turn to confusion as Jasper tried to process what Ruth had said.

Before Jasper could question him more, Ruth walked out of the library, leaving the door open.

As Ruth walked towards the construction area he thought back as to what Jasper had told him. Ruth let out a sigh as he walked. His mind spinning with all the information. Ruth didn’t even notice when he reached the construction area. He only noticed when he overheard the conversations of the mercenaries around him.

Ruth leaned up against a wall as he waited for Riftan, trying to tune out the conversations of those around him. For the most part, he was able to tune out the conversations. However he heard a name that made him turn towards the speaker.

“Conan, where were you last night?” One of the mercenaries asked. They were a few feet away from Ruth, talking in a small group. Ruth searched within the group for Conan. It didn’t take him long to find, as he was rather tall, the tallest one in the group.

“Just… searching for something,” Conan replied. Once the words came from his mouth, his eyes looked over to Ruth, and a smirk playing at his face. “I’ll be right back,” Conan said to the group before he started to walk towards Ruth.

Ruth showed slight annoyance at the man walking towards him. He wasn’t sure if he would have shown the same annoyance if he hadn’t talked to Jasper beforehand. However, since he had, he didn’t bother trying to hide any dislike, or annoyance for the man who approached him.

“Yes?” Ruth asked as soon as Conan was close to him.

“Well hello to you,” Conan said as he leaned against the wall beside Ruth. He kept his voice low, not letting others overhear. “I’ll assume,” he started before raising his eyebrows and looking at Ruth. “That you’ve been made aware of my past?” Conan questioned, his smirk growing.

Ruth stayed silent as he looked at the man beside him now. The man stood taller than Ruth by a foot, and his muscle build was more in lines with Hebaron or Riftan. Ruth had gotten used to men of that stature, so looking at this man – he wasn’t intimidated by him.

After a moment he gave a small shrug in place of an answer to Conan’s question. “It doesn’t really matter if I have or not,” Ruth matched his volume.

“I guess that’s true,” Conan said, looking up towards the sky as he spoke again. “I will say one thing though… It’s not like that anymore.”

Ruth stopped himself from rolling his eyes as Conan spoke. “I’ll say one thing as well…” Ruth started, before Conan continued speaking.

“All I want anymore,” Conan continued, not listening to what Ruth was saying. “I would like the life back that I lost,” Conan said, dropping his gaze back down to Ruth again. “Ever since I was 16, I was forced into this life,” Conan said, gesturing towards the other mercenaries. “Not something I was ever interested in to be honest…” Conan shrugged.

“From what I’ve understood, that happened due to your actions,” Ruth pointed out.

“Mmm…” Conan hummed, thinking for a minute. “From what I understand… I lost a lot of my life due to the bit-“

“Alright,” Ruth said, pushing himself off from the wall. “I’ve heard enough… Just stay away from the three of them,” Ruth warned, before he started to walk away.

Ruth got a step away before his wrist was grabbed, pulling him back. A few of the mercenaries around watched the scene unfold.

The two of them stayed silent for a moment, waiting for the onlooker’s attention to be pulled to something else. Once everyone had stopped paying attention to them, Ruth spoke in a low hiss.

“Do you mind?” He questioned.

“No, no I don’t,” Conan smirked before he continued. “Just stay out of my way, and you don’t have to get hurt,” Conan warned, before he let Ruth’s wrist go.

Before Ruth could reply to his threat, he felt someone grab a hold of his other wrist. Shocked, Ruth turned to see who it was.

Ruth stared, stunned, at Aria as she took a few deep breaths, winded. “Aria…?” He questioned.

Aria's POV

“Come in,” Aria called out after a knock on the door. She watched as Jasper walked into the room, closing the door behind him. She rearranged herself on the bed so her brother could sit beside her.

“What did Ruth want?” Aria asked, as Jasper walked across the room. Jasper give extra room to Lily and the cat she was playing with on the ground as he made his way to the bed. He sat down beside Aria, staying silent for a moment before he let out a sigh.

“Well…” Jasper started, looking at Lily as he spoke. “He told me that Conan was one of the mercenaries,” Jasper said, not waiting for a response from Aria as he spoke. “He also wanted to know if we had any connection to him.”

Aria felt her face pale at the mention of Conan’s name. “Did you…” She whispered to him.

Jasper stayed silent for a moment, causing Aria to start to worry. “Jasper…” She groaned. She opened her mouth to start speaking again, but she was stopped by her brother.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jasper asked, now looking at Aria. Before she could answer he asked another question. “Are you just expecting nothing to happen?”

“I…” Aria started, sighing. “I was going to tell you… Just…” She trailed off, sighing again.

“Let me guess… You were going to try to deal with it by yourself, hope that maybe he didn’t bother you.” Jasper said, trying to keep his voice down so Lily wouldn’t start to pay attention to their conversation.

“I didn’t want you to worry, and I didn’t want anyone here to… I didn’t want to bring up past things,” Aria stammered. She didn’t want to bring anyone else in on her past issues.

“Aria,” Jasper started, taking a deep breath. “Last time… You…” Jasper trailed off, letting Aria stop him before he said more.

“Nothing will happen,” Aria claimed. She knew she couldn’t be sure about her statement, however, she wanted to believe she was right. “So please don’t worry…” she said with a small smile.

After a moment, Aria changed the topic, wanting that conversation to end. “Where is Ruth anyway?” She asked, as her attention went back down to Lily who had started to listen to them as they spoke.

“Riftan came in and asked for him for a bit in the construction area,” Jasper explained with a small shrug. Once he had said that Lily jumped up from the ground and ran over to the window.

“I want to see if I can see him,” she said as she stood up on her tippytoes, looking out the window.

Aria let out a small chuckle as she watched Lily look outside the window. But before she could make a comment, Jasper was already questioning her again.

“Aria,” Jasper started, waiting for Aria’s attention. Once he had her attention, he continued. “I’ve been wondering… what are your feelings towards Ruth…?”

Aria’s face flushed at the question. “J… Jasper…” She stammered, giving a small laugh. Was she even sure how she felt? She would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t like him at all. However, she wasn’t sure it her feelings were just that of friendship or something more.

After a moment she let out another small laugh, still trying to formulate an answer. When she opened her mouth to speak Lily tapped the glass. “I found him!” She exclaimed, turning back to speak to Aria and Jasper.

Aria took her chance to get out of answering the question from her brother. She stood up from the bed, walking over the window. “You did?” She questioned, looking outside to where Lily had pointed.

Once Aria spotted him, her gaze moved to the person who he was with, and she felt her body freeze for a moment.

Conan...

'Why was Ruth talking to Conan?' She thought to herself.

She continued watching, keeping silent. She watched as Ruth started to walk away, she felt relief wash over her, but it didn’t last long. She saw Conan reach out, grabbing Ruth’s wrist.

“Jasper…” She whispered as she turned away from the window. “I’ll be back, look after Lily,” she said as she made her way to the door. Ignoring any questions that were arising from Jasper, she left the room.

Once Aria was out of her room, she started sprinting. She took the fastest route. She wasn’t quite sure what Ruth and Conan were talking about, but she knew what Conan was like. She thought about all the previous threats he made when they were younger, and she let out a groan.

The maids that were in the hallway gave her a curious look as she sprinted past them. But none questioned her as she ran past them. Once Aria was outside, she followed the road she knew would lead her to where they were.

After a moment of running through the roads, she spotted them. They hadn’t moved. ‘Thank god,’ she thought to herself seeing that nothing had happened. Aria sprinted the rest of the way towards them, only slowing down when she was closer. She reached her hand out, grabbing Ruth’s wrist.

“Aria…?” she heard Ruth question, but she didn’t respond. She instead was looking at Conan, who was now looking at her, his smirk deepening.

taglist: @kunikida-simp, @tylerhasmyheart

#ruth serbel ff #ruth serbel #under the oak tree ff #under the oak tree #touch utot ff

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