#thought id never be able to finish it bc my friend and i were watching it together before she moved away

[spacebugarts]

FOUND A FULL PLAYLIST OF MY CURRENT HYPERFIXATION I CAN WATCH FOR FREE LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[chipsncookies]

If you haven't watched the OG Ultraman or Shin Ultraman I highly recommend them. I finished watching og then watched shin with my brother today and they were so gooood.

Aughhh i really want to!!! 😭😭😭 Also, im gonna ramble bc i have a lot of thoughts about ultraman please excuse me

Recently i just got into ultraman again after leaving it so long ago (i think the last series i watched was cosmos?) and I've been so. Overwhelmed (in a good way) with how much there is to catch up!! I initially saw the new ultraman blazar series and I've been watching it alongside pokemon horizons since they're released so close in time, and really liking blazar (this is me with him👇)

About Shin Ultraman, i was aware about its existence but i didn't really care for it before because i wasn't into ultraman back then.

I'm a pokemon fan first and foremost, but i didn't have nostalgia for it because i never played the games as a child, only watched some of the anime. But ultraman? As a kid I watched taro and 80 on my uncle's cd collection and i watched Tiga Dyna Gaia Max Cosmos on tv every weekend, I sang along to their opening and endings...

So rediscovering ultraman with my fully formed brain, coupled with childhood nostalgia, revisiting familiar and also new faces, watching the UGF series, finding out the lore and story of the ultras... My heart is full of appreciation for this series man

^just recently found out that this gif is from ultraman moebius iirc, despite having seen it floating the internet (since deviantart iirc). What ppl say is true your childhood interests really come back to you 🥹

M87 (the shin ultraman song) makes me emotional even though I haven't even watched the movie, i still remember when i first listened to it last year (i follow the singer), I didn't really like it back then just confused, i also didn't care for shin ultraman because i was unfamiliar with the original series (im more of a TDG fan) but now, with rekindled interest and more knowledge, my chest almost burst just from listening to the song 😭

I feel like watching shin ultraman will destroy me emotionally and physically (i heard it's more serious and diverged from the main story?) Luckily i dont have nostalgia for it, if i did id probably explode

That said, I'm really considering watching it sometime, some of my (non ultra) friend also showed interest in it, i hope we'll be able to arrange a suitable time for it!!! 🥹🥹 I'm not sure if I'll pick up the original series tho because I'm currently in the process of (re)watching Gaia and eps where my old favs return. I recently watched the episode with Moebius and 80 and it freaking DESTROYED me, i cried like a little baby, they gave a proper ending to 80 and his students, even brought the actor back. Seeing him being old makes me cry, time has passed so much 😭😭😭

Sorry for the long rambling i have so much feelings about ultraman!!!

[mediocre-writerr]

peer pressure [jo wilson]

jo wilson x reader

requested by anon: hey there! i saw you accept requests for greys anatomy, so i was wondering if you could write for jo wilson? she's dating y/n in secret bc the two of them are still figuring out their relationship. y/n is brought to the hospital and since no one knows about the two, jo is assigned to operate on her but jo gets really stressed and panicked, not wanting to mess up. protective jojo would be sweet <3

warning: shooting, blood

*not my gif*

The sound of a phone ringing awoke you from your peaceful slumber. You grabbed the pillow from next to you as you threw your head over it. A familiar weight on top of you. 

“Jo,” she just hummed in response, “Jo, your phone,” 

Her head immediately shoots up and grabs it off your bedside table, but not before elbowing your stomach in the process. You let out a groan, “Oops, sorry love,”

“Hello,” her voice rang out as she answered her phone, “Okay I’ll be right there!”

You remove the pillow off your face as she hung up, “I have an emergency surgery that I need to scrub in on. You’ll pick me up, right?” 

“Same spot, in. my dark ominous tinted car,” I joked with her and she jokingly rolled her eyes. You paused before continuing to talk, “Have you thought about us? I know after Alex you weren’t sure if you wanted to date again, but I don’t know if we’ve been going on dates and getting closer. I know you want to be ready-” 

She leaned over as she changed into a pair of scrubs that she kept at your place, just in case stuff like this happened, and placed a soft kiss to your lips. 

“We’ll talk about when I get back, okay?” you let out a sigh knowing that this isn’t the first time that she avoided the conversation, but you put on a tight lipped smile before nodding. 

“I’ll call you when I’m off,” she shouted before walking out the door.

“Okay, I love you. Go save some lives Supergirl!” you shouted back, but it was too late the door was closed. 

That’s what you always did, you always shouted it right as the door closed, because you knew that she wouldn’t reciprocate those feelings. 

You understood her need to keep her walls up. She was married to Alex and then he just up and left, but you wanted more than hiding on a corner block away from the hospital just so her friends wouldn’t see. 

You looked at the time on your clock and let out another groan. There was no point in trying to get a little more sleep. You rolled out of bed to get ready for your day at work. 

The day was a little cold compared to the fast few days. But you continued your walk towards the familiar coffee shop you stopped in every morning before work. However, today was different, through the coffee shop window you could see a heated argument occurring.

You bursted into the coffee shop to see your usual barista Kate shaking in fear. The man turned around and he had a gun in his hand. You put your hands up immediately knowing what to do in a situation like this.

“Hello sir, whatever you need we can give it to you,” you told him, trying to ease the situation.

“I want the money that’s in the register!” he screamed.

You shook your head, “Okay, you got it. Just put the gun down please,” he slowly lowered the gun and you gave Kate a nod, “Unlock the register, it’s going to be okay,” 

Just when you think you’re safe and the man’s about to leave. His ski mask slips off his face and you breathe out a sigh, knowing now that you’re a liability. 

“Shit!” he yells, pointing the gun back at you and Kate.

“Just go, we won’t say a word,” you told him. 

He shook his head,  “I can’t let you do that,” 

And with that a shot rang through the coffee shop. You felt your body go cold as you fell onto the floor, clutching your side. 

Then you could see him point his gun at Kate, so you did what you were taught to do. You got up quickly from off the floor as you stood in front of her. The bullet hit your shoulder as you fell down once more. Before another shoot could ring out, you could see the blurry visions of officers behind him. 

Your breathing started to become ragged as the blood starts to leave your body bit by bit, “Kate...” you whispered and she looked at you panic in her eyes, “I need you to put pressure on my wound, okay? I’m losing too much blood to-to do it myself,” 

But before you could feel any pressure, your vision slowly faded away.

“Y/N, you don’t have to pick me up right now. There was a robbery at the coffee shop, there’s one injured and I was assigned. I’ll call you again when I’m done,” Jo spoke into the phone after trying to call you three times. 

Jo immediately ran out to the parking lot where the ambulance park. The paramedics arriving right as she got out there. They burst through the ambulance door as Jo went over to them. 

“What have we got?” she asked, not giving a look at the patient for just a second.

“We found the ID of Detective Y/N Y/L/N,” the paramedic said.

With that Jo immediately lifted her head from the bullet wound and saw your pale face going in and out of consciousness. A pit falling into her stomach as she completely blocked out everything else.

“Y/N,” she whispered, fear evident in her eyes.

You looked at her with a loopy smile, grabbing a hold of her hand, and squeezing it with all your might. You could feel your eyes start to slip away again, “I-I love you,” 

Your eyes shut as you slipped out into unconsciousness, “Dr. Wilson,” the paramedic said sternly, “She’s losing too much blood we got to get her to an OR,” 

“Right, yeah. Get her to OR one,” 

They placed you on the OR table as you were blacked out. The loss of blood making it too hard to stay awake. They hooked you up to the anesthesia before opening up your side.

“We’re ready Dr. Wilson,” the anesthesiologist said.

Her hands started to shake with the scalpel in her hand. Thoughts rushing through her mind. 

Focus Jo, just focus. 

But her thoughts wouldn’t quiet, “Dr. Wilson, is everything okay?”

She shook her head, “No, someone grab my phone and get Dr. Grey on the phone,” 

A nurse immediately grabbed her phone and dialed Dr. Grey, “Wilson, what’s going on?”

“I need you to get to the OR as soon as possible,” she said, her voice slightly cracking.

“I’m on my way,” 

Jo spotted Meredith walk into the OR, “I need you to do this procedure, please,” 

“Why?” Meredith asked as she immediately took Jo’s place, but Jo didn’t respond, “Wilson, if I’m going to take over for you I need to know why because this is a simple find the bleeder,” 

“This is Detective Y/N Y/L/N, she’s my-” Jo starts before the tears started getting choked up, “I don’t know what we are, I’d always avoid the conversation, but they-”

“They mean a lot to you,” Meredith finished and Jo nodded.

“Can I stay here with you? I don’t wanna leave their side,” Jo whispered.

“Only if you tell me about them,”

Jo pulled out a seat and watched as Meredith worked on you. She told Meredith everything about what was going on. 

“They always asked me about us and what I wanted us to be. They were always ready for a relationship, they wanted to make things official but I-I just couldn’t,” she whispered.

“What was holding you back?” Meredith said as she used the suction to take the bleeders out of you.

“I guess I was scared, Alex left and I met Y/N and I fell for them each more every day. The thought of losing them or I guess them abandoning me, I couldn’t take it,��� Jo said, staring at your face. 

She ran her thumb over your cool skin and smiled at you with tears in her eyes, “Every time I left their apartment, I’d give them a kiss, and I’d say bye. Right as I shut the door I hear them call out and say ‘I love you! Go save some lives Supergirl!’. I never said it back, I need to say it back,” 

“And you’ll be able to, they’re stable. We’ll take them to the ICU and they’ll be able recover nicely,” Meredith replied as she stitched you up, “Just make sure you tell them this time,” 

You awoke to the sound of soft beeping noises and a bright light on your face. The familiar weight that’s usually on top of you when you woke up was right there. 

Your eyes fluttered opened as you see that you’re at Grey Sloan Memorial. The familiar weight was indeed Jo, sleeping peacefully on your chest in her navy blue scrubs. 

“Jo,” you whispered and she stirred awake looking up at you.

“You’re awake,” she whispered, holding you even tighter.

You let out a soft groan, “Ouch love, that’s the wound,” 

“Oops sorry love!” she exclaimed once more and you laughed softly.

“It’s okay. Not that I’m complaining, but I’m surprised you’re on top of me. I know we’ve been keeping us a secret,” you asked, kind of confused. 

She looked at you with a guilty look in her eyes, “I'm sorry. I was scared, after Alex, I didn’t think I’d find love again. But then you, you came, and every day I fell in love with you more and more. I never wanted to talk about what we were because the thought of you abandoning me like everyone else did killed me. So I thought if there’s no label and you leave I won’t get hurt,”

“But then I heard the paramedics ID you and the thought of losing you without telling you how much I love you killed me more. I can’t lose you Y/N,” she whispered, “I love you so much and I can’t lose the person who put me back together,” 

You cupped her cheeks softly and kissed her sweetly. As soon as you pulled away you placed your foreheads together, “So we’re dating?” you teased and she laughed softly before nodding, “I love you so much. I’m not going anywhere,”

“Good,” she kissed you once more, “Just please no more jumping in front of bullets,”

“What? You can’t be the only one who saves lives,” you teased, but you could tell that she was being serious.

“I know that’s your job, but seriously love you weren’t even off the clock. I need you with me,” 

“Then with you is where I’m going to be,” you kissed her forehead before she settled back into your arms, holding you tighter than ever before.

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 

[rydeszegras]

get lost in wonderland - m.boldy

hey guys !! this is the first fic of my wonder series, im not sure if its gonna be any good as im still new to this whole writing thing and im not that good at it yet. (feel leave me some tips if you dont mind !!) but i hope you enjoy !

boldy x reader

inspo: intro - shawn mendes

wc: 1,088

warnings: nothing bad, just a whole lotta fluff :))

—

it was a chilly saturday morning in boston and you were cuddled up on your couch drinking your coffee and watching your favorite christmas movie when you recieved a text from your best friend, matt. matt had been your best friend since as long as you can remember, you both grew up together in millis and were inseparable since the day you met. it was tough for you guys to go to separate schools for the first time in your life, but bu and bc were only 10 mins apart so it was easy to make do with.

at around 10:30 you had just gotten out of the shower and were drying your hair when you recieved a text from your best friend

-

matthew boldy:)

10:32am - hey im picking you up at 11:15 be ready

you

10:32am - where are we going?

matthew boldy:)

10:34am - you’ll see, just be ready to go and make sure to dress warm;)

-

okay, you thought, so its gonna be outside, so you prepared yourself to get ready for the day. you slipped on your favorite pair of lulus, some fuzzy socks, and then threw on the bc hoodie that matt had given you the last time you hung out. nobody knew this, at least you thought, but you had been in love with matt for as long as you could remember but knew he could never feel the same way. you werent the skinniest and you werent blonde which you were okay with, but you knew wasnt the type of girl that matt liked.

eventually 11:15 rolled around and matt showed up right on time knocking at your door, you threw on your patagonia parka and slipped on your ccm hat before letting matt in. as you opened the door, you saw matt standing there with the biggest bouquet of yellow roses you had ever seen wearing the biggest smile in the world, one youve never ever seen before

“hey beautiful are you ready to go?” matt says while handing you the bouquet of flowers. you nod your head with a smile as you grabbed the bouquet and placed them in the vase sitting on the counter. it wasnt abnormal for him to call you beautiful, it was something he said to you that you figured meant nothing and you brushed it off as usual. the only difference was the flowers he gave you, matt wasnt really one for sappy stuff, but you assumed he was just being nice as he knew you had a rough week.

matt had told you he had four special spots for you that day and it was a quick 5 minute drive to spot number one, caffè nero, which was your favorite coffee shop. “you can order whatever you want gorgeous, im paying.”

gorgeous? did he just call me gorgeous? you thought to yourself, beautiful was one thing, but gorgeous? you hadnt heard that one before, but you brushed it off as always and headed to the counter to place your order.

“hi can i get a y/f/d and a y/f/f please?” the cashier nods their head and you go to pick a table a few minutes before your order was ready. when they called your name matt quickly beat you up to go get your food.

when matt returned to he table you knew you had to ask him some questions. “so matt what is all this about, this isnt like you.” you said. “well i feel like youve been down lately so i thought you deserved to have a special day with some of your favorite things” matt replied while you responded with a soft smile before sipping your drink.

after you finished your food you headed out to the car and drove another 12 minutes to the boston harborwalk, the harborwalk was your favorite place in the winter, especially when it was snowing. matt knew this and it was his favorite place in the world too because he loved seeing your smile everytime you watched the snow fall, or when you saw the puppies run by, and even when you smiled the 500x matt almost slipped, walking a little bit further you reached stop number 3.

yankee lobster. an unnecessarily expensive amazing food place, and once again matt wouldnt let you pay. you spent at least three hours there discussing everything about your lives and eating your all you can eat lobster plates and it was incredible, you sat against the window and watched the snow fall while you just stared at his gorgeous blue eyes paying little attention to anything he was actually saying.

eventually you both finished your food and were off to the next location. now this location wasn’t necessarily your favorite location in the world, but it was matts and he was destined to make it your favorite place too. matt didnt know how this was gonna go, in all honesty this stop made him more nervous than he had ever been. you were slightly confused as you pulled into the parking lot of the conte forum, but matt didnt let you ask any questions as he grabbed your hand as you approached the entrance of the arena looking back at you and smiling.

you approached an awkward set of stairs that lead you up to the rafters. “this isnt the prettiest place in the world but its definitely my favorite place, being able to look over at the rink and see every little aspect of it is amazing and i needed to share it with my favorite girl in the world” he said, and you smiled in response not knowing where he was going with this. “y/n i know you dont feel the same but i cant keep going without you knowing the truth. ive been in love with you since as long as i can remember and i cant keep holding it in any longer.”

wow. did he just say that. hes really. there is no way

“are you serious?” you asked as matt responded,“more than anything ive ever been serious about before.” you hesitated at first, but knew he was serious and there was nothing standing in your way. “i love you too matthew boldy, more than anything in the world,” and it took absolutely no time for matt to pull you into the most hearfelt kiss you had ever recieved.

“this is my wonderland y/n” matt said pulling back slightly with a smile, “and theres nobody id rather get lost in it with.”

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[chanswavyhair]

i learned to love (pt.2) | seo changbin

a/n: i ended up writing this bc i felt too upsetti doing a sad ending JSHSJS sorry:’) anyways, i hope u enjoy uwu. stream streetlight folks!!

word count: 1.8k

genres: angst, fluff

part 1 | [m.list]

it’s been a long night. you sighed, lying in your bed. you were listening to red velvet’s i just on loop, while surfing the internet. suddenly, the idea of checking changbin’s sns crossed your mind, as it’s been days since you last checked. you tried to control yourself, but your fingers were already typing his usser.

to your surprise, you saw that he had produced another –probably amazing– song. you immediately clicked on the link, and closed your eyes as you listened carefully the lyrics.

“even a fool knows this, you’re the best thing I've got” wow, first verse and it already hit really hard. you tried to make a promise to yourself, and not to cry if it seemed like he already fell for someone else. even if it’s been three months now since you left.

“i should've hurried, it's too late to regret it now” to be honest, those three months were really significant. you finally got to understand yourself, what did you want to do, and even learned to love yourself more. but somehow, you still missed his love, no matter how hard you tried, you didn’t seem to get interested in anyone else.

“i should've let go of my foolish pride then, i’m only regretting now for missing out the chance” tears started to fall by then. as much as it hurt, you wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, he would think about you as much as you did about him. well, he didn’t have a reason since it was you whobroke up with him and suddenly disappeared, but you couldn’t help but hope the lyrics were about you.

“how could I ever let you go?” that was exactly what you’ve been thinking for the last three months. yes, you did break up with him, but you still loved him as you’ve ever loved anyone. your relationship came to a dead point, and you had to put it out, even though you hated yourself because of it.

one more night, you cried silently until you’d fall asleep; regretting to ever let all of this happen.

for changbin, things were really, really weird. just like you, at first he thought that even if it was a shame, you two couldn’t have done anything about it. but eventually, he realized that he missed you so bad. he came to think that he got used to having you by his side, which made him start to take less care about your relationship. but he loved you, and he didn’t get why didn’t you let him have a chance to talk to you. well, to be honest, he didn’t try that much and tried to accept it at the beginning, but he was slowly going crazy. so he wrote a song, hoping you would listen it, and at least know, that he still loved you so, so much.

a month after on track came out, you still listened to it on daily basis, and most of the nights, you played it before you went to bed. it was kind of masochistic, reminding yourself everyday of changbin not wanting to let someone go. but you had a life, in which you would study to get your preschooler teacher title – as the high school teacher title wasn’t valid. and in the afternoon you worked at a small café. you were still young, so you didn’t worry about studying again a lot.

it was a quiet afternoon, not many people at the café, which meant you could study while it was empty. just half an hour before closing, the door was opened, probably the fourth or fith client in the last hour.

“welcome to streetlight café, how can i- oh” your eyes went wide open as you realized it was the seo changbin who stood in front of you. he seemed quite surprised as well.

“uh, if you’re not comfortable i can leave-” he said awkwardly. you immediately shook your head.

“please don’t-, i mean, i can keep it professional” what a liar, you thought. he nodded at your words.

“then, can i have a espresso without milk, please?” you nodded trying to ide your smile, because you still remembered his favorite coffee. while preparing it, you realized you haven’t felt your heart race like this in such a long time. as you finished, you took it to where he was sitting. he didn’t say anything but right when you were about to return to your place, he spoke.

“are you busy?” changbin asked. you were internally in chaos, but so he was.

“well... you’re the only here right now.” you said nervously. he made a motion, telling you to sit in front of him. you didn’t rush, not wanting to seem desperate.

“how have you been doing?” he asked, looking at his coffee as if moving the spoon again and again was the most interesting thing ever.

“to be honest... could’ve been better. i am studying to get the preschooler teacher title, and i’m living with a friend from my hometown who is studying here in seoul, too. i guess she was more fun before.” you joked a bit, before mumbling, “what about you?” you tried to avoid his eyes once you finished talking.

“i’m still living at the apartment. i’ve produced many songs, and even took up rapping, turns out i am pretty good. but things are weird, because everything’s right, but i’ve been feeling complicated for some time now.” he said. he made himself look at you, before causually saying, “i haven’t dated anyone since you left, by the way.” changbin hoped you either did.

“me neither, i’m really busy studying and working to meet new people. also, i didn’t feel like doing it.” you said. he didn’t say anything for the next minutes, he just drank his coffee, and you stared at him.

“i’m sorry i made you feel unloved.” he stated, once he finished the hot drink. he surprised himself, looking for your eyes.

“changbin... i think we both did. and it’s understandable because we were both so busy and stressed. i mean, it did hurt, but i could never blame it just on you for being unhappy.” you said, with your heart on your hands. he was clearly collecting his thoughts, until he left out a soft laugh.

“if you think about it, maybe fate wanted us to meet here, don’t you think? what i mean is... if it’s okay for you, we could try to be friends again... i miss you.” your heart fluttered at his words, but you didn’t let it show.

“i guess we can try to be friends again, but i don’t want to rush.” you said. nonetheless, your heart wanted to be home with him again, while your rational part just didn’t want to go through letting go of him again. you smiled softly, ignoring your thoughts. “i missed you too, changbin.”

since that evening at the café, you two officially came to terms with each other, and ineither of you spelt that night out of excitement. he kept his words, and didn’t make any moves on you, just let things flow. it was kinda painful for him, to see you eventually more often, but not being able to kiss you, or to hug you – unless you did it first or he really needed to.

months went by, and you two became really close again, and although it felt different – a good type of different – from when you two started dating, you couldn’t help but fall even harder for him, wondering why did you ever let go of him. when you two started talking, you thought it would help you get over him, but it obviously had the opposite effect.

for changbin, even if he said he was happy to be friends with you again, he eventually let his feelings become obvious. he knew you knew, but he didn’t really mind it, because you were too good to leave him hanging from a string, so you would tell him if you weren’t feeling something too. he just didn’t want to pressure you, even if he half jokingly reminded you from time to time that you could sleep at his (and formerly yours) place; but it just didn’t felt right for you – after all, you used to live there with him and you were already confused enough.

half a year had passed, when you found yourself in his couch, almost cuddling him, watching a boring program you weren’t even watching. it was getting late, you usually left his place by the time, but that night, it felt so wrong to do it. you’ve contained yourself way too many times, but that night you just didn’t want to. you wanted to let things flow, and whatever it should happen, it would.

“it’s getting late, do you want me to walk you home?” he offered, looking at you. you stared at him, wondering if you should tell him your thoughts.

“changbin.” you said, doubting a last time.

“hmm?” he looked at you lovingly, while his deep voice let you know that he would be there for you, whatever you had to say. you then became confident on your decision.

“can i sleep over? is that okay for you.” you said, and his eyes suddenly widened.

“wait, are you for real?” he asked.

“i wouldn’t joke about it.” you answered.

“but... you are aware of my feelings for you, aren’t you? i’m not sure if i... will be able to restrain myself if we spend the night together, y/n.” he said. he felt ashamed to speak up about his feelings, even if you already knew.

“changbin, i’m not a little girl anymore. i am very conscious of your feelings, so just... don’t. you don’t have to restrain yourself.” he looked at you, getting closer. was this finally happening?

“y/n, before i do... i need to let you know. i love a lot, i don’t think i’ve ever stopped. i hated myself when i lost you, and i stopped when i found you again. if i focus on any part of you, your hands, your lips, your legs... i remember what i was to feel them against my skin and want to feel them again. but more than that, i ask myself how can love them all. so, if you are sure about this, ask me to kiss you and i will, but if you’re not, don’t do this. because i don’t know if i’ll ever love again.” he said, centimeters from your face, holding it with his hands, while you were now holding his heart.

“i’m afraid to hurt you so bad again you don’t love again, but you know i’ve always been selfish, and i’m even more afraid of you not loving me anymore. it’s crazy, how i can keep falling for you again and again. we are too young to love like this, but i would never regret it, just don’t ever let me down. so if you are willing not to do it, please... kiss me, changbin.”

[misfitjohnnys]

unintentional; trying to hold it in but the pieces are falling

 You’ve worked hard for everything you’ve gotten and Mark Lee is a soft twist in your busy life, but you know hiding part of yourself eventually always bites anyone in the ass.

Word count: 21k - part 3/5

Reader x Mark Lee

(M)

masterlist // warnings

Mark had arranged a special trip to make sure he dropped you off at the airport and you got on the plane safe and sound. You could see the sadness in his face. You wished you could stay with him longer, but maybe it was time to jump back to reality. That was what vacation was, right? 

a/n: this chapter contains smut

You sighed and thumbed over his hand in yours as you made your way to the airport. You knew how dangerous it was for him to be in public like that with you, especially on the day of a show in the city they were playing in. He brought his mask and hoodie specifically for him to be able to walk you through to check in. It felt nice; him making sure he was there to check up on you. He didn’t have to, but you could tell how much he wanted to even at risk of his own safety.

You dreaded getting out of the car when you pulled into the parking spot, sitting in your seat and wishing you were glued there. His driver was extremely understanding thankfully, because you felt like you sat there forever. You looked over at Mark, still holding his hand and seeing the soft, sad smile on his face. “I’m really gonna miss you.” You smiled back at him, sighing again and you wanted to kiss him, so you did. It was probably wrong and extremely troublesome if anyone saw you, but you hoped the black tinted windows were enough to hide it.

His mouth felt warm, but he was tense. You let his hand go and reached up to cup his cheeks and relax him. His hands went down to your waist, holding you for what felt like it would be the last time. You thought for a moment, hoping to relax him, you wanted to say something to make him feel at least a little better. You pulled away to look at him, seeing the melancholy in his eyes.

“I’m gonna come visit you, okay? I promise. Maybe after all this, after the funeral and everything is over.” It wasn’t entirely a lie and it seemed to calm his nerves, smile peeking through. Your heart was wrenched at the thought of leaving. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you knew you had to.

“Promise?” You could tell he had more to say, but he couldn’t. Mark was too sweet and understanding to ask you to stay, you knew that. You nodded, seeing his grin grow wider. You were thankful he didn’t seem like he was going to cry, it felt too early for that and you were begging yourself not to get worked up enough for tears, you couldn’t let that happen. The last week had been like a dream you didn’t want to wake up from. The outside world didn’t exist for a while, but you knew it eventually had to end. You walked hand in hand through the airport, Mark’s mask on his face and a hat on to cover himself, but it still made you nervous in case he would get caught. He rolled your bags and you kept your personal bag on your shoulder with your wallet inside. You’d hardly even used it the last few days, letting the time pass. You spent most of your money on flights and rides online anyway, so checking your wallet wasn’t the biggest priority.

Mark brought your bag up to the check in and you could see his frown, picking it up with less effort than it took you, which made you giggle just a little bit. He was such a gentleman and that made you happy. You showed the woman at the counter your ticket and it almost didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel like you were about to leave him, and you wished so desperately that you didn’t have to.  You walked with him again holding hands, making your way to the final stop to be inside the airport where you couldn’t exit again, wanting to savor your last few seconds with Mark in a tight hug, his arms around your waist and his face nested in the crook of your neck. You sighed softly, kissing his ear because it was the closest piece of skin in view. You were surprised to see how empty the corridor was, looking around and feeling like he was safe enough at the moment. It was incredibly not busy, so you pulled his face up, smiling at him and seeing his eyes crinkle.

He was a little shocked when you pulled his mask down to his chin, leaning in for just another soft kiss, plush pouty lips against yours as if it were the last goodbye. You hoped it wasn’t, you had to keep positive.

You hugged once more, tight arms around tense bodies, but it felt good nonetheless and tearing away felt like hell. You waved him off and stepped forward into the line, feeling his eyes on you and a pout staying on his face before he hid it with a mask. Thankfully nobody was around to see, you really hoped he was in the clear on that front.

You glanced back through the windows as you walked through the doors, watching Mark walk away sadly as you reached into your bag to grab your wallet and present your ID at the counter. You went through it, furrowing your brows when you saw that something was missing, but you couldn’t quite place it. It looked just slightly emptier, shaking it off and pulling your ID out. You presented it and made your way through to your gates and bag checks. You wished Mark was with you, but you’d been in the airport five times so far in the last week alone, so you could easily do that, but you wished you had his company again and it hurt just a little to know that you didn’t know when you’d have it again.

You decided to clean out your bag after it all got emptied in the check. You had so many unnecessary things over the last few months in it and it never occurred to you to clean it. Hopefully it would distract your mind. You emptied your bag, noticing that the NCT keychain you were used to having on your keys was gone. You remembered ripping it off right after the first night with Mark, knowing it would add to the suspicion, but you wished you had it to remind yourself of him again. You remembered tossing it in your suitcase, but didn’t remember seeing it as you packed up. It was odd and even though you ended up breaking it, you weren’t quite ready to part your ways with it yet.

You finished pulling the trash from your bag and neatly reorganized it, waiting for the plane to board when you got a text.

I miss you already :( I really hope I get to see you again

Your heart ached, sighing and figuring out what you should say to him. You hated being away from him and it had just been a few minutes. You were shocked to even see a text that soon, but it felt nice, nonetheless.

I miss you too, i really want to plan something asap bc I had so much fun, we should definitely hang out again before you leave okay??

He took a little while to respond and it seemed slightly dry. You hoped he was okay and part of you felt like your confidence was a little too high in that moment. He was already missing you and you felt important still. You hoped it would stay like that and you’d make a huge effort to make sure it did. You didn’t want to lose contact with him, but you’d never been in the position before. Normally you were the one who let friendships and relationships die, but you didn’t want to ruin this one, even if it wasn’t serious enough yet.

I really hope you can

You sighed, gripping your phone tightly in your hand. It felt like all you had left of Mark. You thought up a response, quickly typing it out when you heard that your plane was boarding.

Don’t forget about me, okay?

You bit your lip, walking up to the podium to present your ticket and get onboard. You felt your phone vibrate as you walked through, smiling when you saw who it was. You answered the phone, grinning and letting your phone open up a FaceTime. On the screen you saw Taemin, Ten, Lucas, and Mark grinning into the camera. Your heart was swollen, and you tried your best to make your way to your seat. “Hold on guys, I’m gonna get my headphones really quick!” You sat down, pulling your headphones out as you watched Lucas out of the corner of your eyes making faces at himself in the phone’s camera.

“We’re gonna miss you!” Lucas told you, giggling. You hadn’t gotten the proper time to say goodbye that morning, spending all your time with Mark made you kind of forget about it. You felt a little bad. You got your headphones in, hiding your phone screen and grinning into the camera.

“I’m gonna miss you all so much!” You reminded them, giggling as you saw Ten rip the phone out of his hands. “I had such a good time with you guys, I’m so glad I met you!”

“Okay, so, you live in LA right?” Ten asked you, bright grin shining on screen.

“Mm, yeah!” You nodded, waiting for what he was going to say. He always had something funny to add to a conversation, you loved hearing him speak.

“Well, you know, we have two shows in California, you could meet up with us and Mark could get laid again and-“ Your cheeks heated up and you saw Mark grab the phone, eyes wide and nervously smiling into it as he looked at you.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” You could hear Ten laughing, Taemin joining him loudly as Mark tried to regain his composure. “They wanted to tell you goodbye.”

“Bye bye!” You heard Taemin yell, Mark smiling and pointing the camera toward him, who was waving excitedly at you. “I’ll miss you!” Taemin made your heart soft. He was one of the most fun people you’d met yet in your celebrity life and you hoped you could definitely hang out with him again, but from what you knew America wasn’t a place he was often. It made you a little sad. You had to make plans to see them, smiling at yourself and sighing when you saw how happy they were, so excited to have made a friend. You were glad you’d met them, even if only for a brief period of time, they helped you vacation more than anyone else ever had. They felt like friends more than yours even had and it was an overwhelmingly warm feeling in your heart. You hoped you’d stay close and continue your friendship, even from so far away. Maybe you’d visit them in Korea, you weren’t sure, but you’d hoped. You knew Ten was mostly promoting in China and with the information you knew, you hoped he and Taemin would continue their happy relationship. You knew so much about them just in such a short period of time. It was nice.

“Babe?” You heard Mark call for your attention, pulling you out of your own thoughts. The pet name rung in your ears so nicely.

“Hm?” You smiled, giggling at his soft cheeks and smile. He was beautiful, such a wonderful face to see on someone who seemed to care about you so deeply so quickly.

“Be safe, okay?” Your heart felt like it would burst, making you slightly teary eyed. “Talk to me if you need anyone, okay? Even if you have to call me at the funeral, I’ll be here for you.” He made your head turn to mush, wishing you could embrace him again, feel his warmth cradling you through hard times. You nodded, grinning so wide it hurt.

“Thank you.” You nodded, sighing and just seeing his content face, sitting calmly in his hotel room. You had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the end in that moment.

“I’ll be here for you, okay?” You nodded in assurance, seeing his soft shy smile appear once again when the room quieted down. You heard the flight attendants start to speak, pulling you out of your conversation and you frowned just a little knowing you had to hang up. “About to take off?” He asked, nerves pulling on his face again and you nodded. “Okay, call me when you land.”

“Good luck with your show tonight, alright?” You nodded once more, telling him your final goodbye before you had to turn your phone on airplane mode, sighing as you hung up and set it down. You hoped to take a nap through your flight. It was a longer flight than the others because of the distance and it made you sad not to be able to talk to Mark, but you’d be in touch with him in just a few hours so you were thankful.

The plane ride pulled anxiety out of you, making you take one of your Xanax for a nap. Thankfully it worked, cradled up with your phone in hand for comfort and an airplane blanket. Your headphones were stuffed in your ears, playing music to ease you into sleep, nodding off easily after takeoff.

It was easy after that, waking up when the turbulence got high and pulled you from your dreams. You were landing soon and the first thing you wanted to do was text Mark, waiting for the plane to touch down and allow it. You were quick to get texts on the way out, seeing multiple messages from Irene, Mark and three unrecognized numbers. You grinned, knowing exactly who they were.

So the funeral is in two days, I’ve rearranged some appointments for outfits and got a headstart on your speech. Interviews for new management are being arranged as we speak. Text me when you land down and I’ll send a car. See you soon. Good luck! Everyone misses you!

You were sure everyone at work was kind of glad to have a break from you. Even if they did enjoy you as their boss, you weren’t going to deny being high strung and a bit overwhelming at your job. Things seemed to have gone smoothly and without many issues, thankfully from Irene’s participation and eye for knowing exactly what you needed to happen. She always made sure things went well, and you almost felt bad for ditching her, but she liked the fact that you were having a good enough time to be distracted from work for so much longer than intended. She didn’t know exactly what had even gone on and you were almost scared to tell her, but you’d handle that in person. You typed a quick message to her as you made your way into the airport to go back home. It felt like you’d been away for months, but hopefully you’d enjoy being back at least just a little bit. The moment was bittersweet.

Hi honey, it’s Ten! Good luck with everything sweetie, we’re here for you <3

We wish you the best and I hope to see your face again! Come jopping with us soon ;) -TAEMIN

It’s Lucas!!! You made this tour a lot of fun so far! Thank you!!!❤️~

Mark’s texts made your heart race, sighing and feeling stars in your eyes as you read all four of them. It made you happier than it should have to see a quadruple text.

Hey how’s everything?? I’m worried sick about you i hope you’re okay!!

I hope you’re not too busy to talk to me when you get back home but i totally understand if you are??

i don’t wanna seem crazy i promise lmao but i want you know we’re here for you!

aaaahhh!! sorry for texting so much i swear I’m not normally like this !!!

You had your own fair share of obsessively texting people, so it didn’t bother you even a little bit. He made you feel so special and you wished you had more time with him. You immediately called him, shocked to speak with him for an hour, giving him live updates on everything as he got ready for the show, just enjoying hearing each other’s voices even if the conversations were filled with nothing important. You liked him way more than you probably should.

-

The days following were heavy, filled with grief and much more paperwork and filling in at work than you thought in a time of heartache. You weren’t used to texting much anymore, trying to keep yourself composed in the crisis of the day, but you were thankful when the funeral was over. You spent almost every second of your free time keeping up with Mark, just excited to see exactly what he was up to, even catching up on his lives and seeing him text you back so quickly. The boys still seemed happy and that’s what made you a little more grounded. You’d thankfully found a replacement and it hurt your heart, but you did what you had to do. You made sure to cut checks to family members of the deceased, hoping to keep them afloat a little better. You always did what was best for your restaurant and you could tell it was what kept you so successful.

The funeral was beautiful, a perfect way to commemorate Hannah’s hard work and appreciate her as a person, giving your condolences to the family members and made sure to memorialize her in the best way possible. It ached your heart that you didn’t have Mark with you, repeatedly reminding him that you wished he were there, and he had no hesitation telling you how much he wished he were with you. It made it all a bit easier. The boys texting you made it easier too. They’d send a couple texts every few days, and even though they weren’t as thorough as Mark, you still felt important to them.

Days went by and turned to weeks, getting back into routine and making sure all the locations were still perfectly good to go. It was more work than you thought it would be, but you managed; making sure everyone was back on track and you were shocked by how much time had passed by. You were easily able to keep up with Mark and the rest of SuperM through social media, but you wished you were hands-on with them again, hanging out when you saw pictures of them out and about. It warmed your heart to see them having fun, but it didn’t stop you from wishing you were there with them as well. You almost cringed at the fact that you and Mark FaceTimed almost every night before bed, but it made you feel warm in the moment. He made you so happy and you were falling for him way faster than you ever thought you should. It didn’t take much with him and you could tell he felt the same way, setting yourself up for something that almost felt forbidden, but you didn’t care. He distracted you from the hard times at work and from the reality of business meetings and he was a very easy escape. You felt like you were his too.

It came up on two nights before the last tour date of the year, sighing in bed after a stressful day of work and you wanted more than anything to be with him. You bit your lip, pressing the call button and being sure to get him on the line. He answered with a bright smile, as always. “Hey babe.” You had to stifle a giggle, sighing happily as you got ready for bed, in your pyjamas and setting your phone on the bathroom counter to do your nightly skincare.

“Hey!” You grinned, looking over at him as you grabbed your facial soap, rubbing it into your skin. “How are you feeling now that the tour is almost over?” You asked, smiling happily and seeing him sigh in content.

“It’s uh, a little sad.” He shrugged, pushing his black hair out of his face. He always looked so good when his forehead was out, you noted. “I don’t want it to end, you know? I really like touring in America, it feels almost like I’m home, you know?” He pouted softly, sighing as he laid his head into his pillow, fingers running through his hair again. You’d noticed he did that a lot on FaceTime. He was a fidgeter, he liked to have something to do. “I wish you were here.” He reminded you. You hadn’t heard him say that in a few days, so it was a nice surprise. It really felt like you were in a long distance relationship, nagging at your heart because it had only been a little over a month and you wished so desperately that you could’ve gone through it all with him, but things happen for a reason, or so you hoped.

“You’ll be back though!” You reminded him, grinning and trying your best to stay positive. You wished you could’ve seen him before that leg of the tour ended and it was nagging at you that you should’ve visited again, but the time never came up and it made you sadder than anything. The first leg of the tour flew by much faster than you thought possible. You didn’t have time to see him, but you hoped that even if you couldn’t see him before he left, it wouldn’t be long before he was in California and you’d be in his arms at least once again. Thankfully NCT had been doing a lot of American visits, so you’d have your time again, you hoped.

“Yeah.” He nodded. He was silent for a moment and you could tell he was thinking, trying to find his words. You let him take his time, but his silence was more than deafening.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, stopping after you finally wiped your face off, biting your lip and worried about him. “Is everything okay?”

“Well,” Mark sighed, a small smile playing on his face. “I actually.. Was going to see if I could come see you.” You were shocked a little, eyebrows raised and slightly narrowed in concern. You swallowed, not even sure how to react to his confession. Your silence made him nervous, speaking up once again. “I mean, uh, the last concert is the day after tomorrow, so, um, I might have some time to visit because I, uh, have to be in Spain a couple days after, but I’ll be back in New York for the Macy’s Day Parade,” He grinned, knowing he was telling you information that he wasn’t allowed to tell you. It made you feel good that he trusted you, pulling your lips into a smile in the disbelief of him wanting to come to you, but you held back your excitement even though the words were ringing in your ears. “So I’ve got a couple days to hang out.”

“You sure you want to visit me in the midst of all that?” You giggled, resting your elbows on the counter to get closer to the camera. You could see the faint blush on his cheeks as he nodded. You were more than shocked that he was actually planning a trip for you even when he was so busy. You didn’t know what to say.

“Only if you, um, think I can.” He wanted to work around your schedule, and it was thoughtful, so, of course, without even thinking too hard, you gave him an answer.

“Absolutely.” You nodded, giggling even harder with excitement. Even if you didn’t have the time, you would make time around him because your happiness mattered just as much as your success, and Mark had been your main source of happiness for the last few weeks. You’d mostly kept to yourself aside from him and you were suffering just a little bit from the vacation still, but you didn’t at all regret going, seeing his face perk up and his eyes disappear into a smile. He was more than excited, you could tell.

“You’re deadass?” He asked, grinning even harder. You didn’t hear him swear as much anymore, so it was pleasant to hear. You hardly ever heard anyone but Taemin curse so it felt even more real to hear him say those words. You wouldn’t let him know that though.

���Uh, duh!” You nodded again, giggling even more and feeling butterflies in your stomach at the thought of him visiting again. This time it would be in your city. It was nice to have the upper hand again and you were thinking about all you could do together. You wanted him to visit at least one of the stores you owned, so that was exciting, but you also wanted to show him the small spots in LA that you’d found. It wasn’t your favorite city, but it was a great place to make a living and you’d done it, finding comfort in little hideouts for enjoyment that you definitely wanted to share with him. He was just as important to you even if things had moved so fast, you trusted him to come into your personal space and you could tell he appreciated that.

“Buy your plane ticket and I’ll pick you up from the airport!” You told him excitedly, returning to the mirror to put your moisturizer and facial creams on. You had a hard time containing breakouts with the stress, especially from smoking, but you worked around it. Mark didn’t seem to mind.

“You’d do that?” Mark asked excitedly, grinning and pumped that he’d see you even sooner than he thought.

“Yeah, I get to drive you around now, how’s that feel?” You joked, seeing his eyebrow crook and seeing a smirk on his face.

“That’s hot, yeah.” You blushed, shaking your head at his stupid comment. “Got an independent one to drive me around. Got me a little badass!” He smirked playfully, raising a brow.

“Shut up.” You laughed, hearing him join you. He took a big sigh, feeling your own heart beat fast in your chest as you saw him relax, making your own way to bed. You bit your lip, sitting down on your own bed. You thought for a moment, wondering where exactly he planned to stay. You hoped it was with you, so you had to ask. “Hey, so,” You started, searching for your words. “Are you wanting to like, stay at my house?” You asked, biting at your lip again out of nervousness and you saw him flush a little, nerves returning. You’d never had anyone romantically interested in you stay at your place, so it was only normal to be scared, but you had a feeling it would be fine with Mark. You moved fast anyway in your friendship, so you thought it wouldn’t be a problem, but it still worried you.

“I mean, like,” He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair again. He was nervous that you asked that way and you almost regretted it until he spoke up. “I won’t if you don’t want me to, but, uh, that’s what I was thinking.” You grinned again, feeling a slight tug at your stomach as you looked around your room to see a little bit of kpop paraphernalia. You’d have to make a note to put all of that away in the next two days. “Un-unless you don’t want me to!” He started, beginning to ramble on. “I mean I can find a place to stay, I don’t think it would be a problem, I mean, I could get a hotel room and you could come stay there with me so we could see each other because I don’t really know your living situation but-“ You cut him off with a laugh.

“No, you’re staying here.” You told him, nodding and biting your lip again. “You can sleep in my bed,” You saw him relax, sighing happily. You hadn’t had anyone in your bed in quite a while and they had all been friends or Irene, so it almost scared you. “I don’t bite.” You were glad you didn’t have a roommate in the time being.

“I mean,” Mark started, making you roll your eyes.

“Okay I might bite sometimes, but only if it’s wanted.” You joked playfully. He laughed in return, blush plastering itself across his face through the screen. Mark had a way of making your stomach flutter.

“That’s kinda, uh, dirty.” He teased and you weren’t sure you wanted to get into that conversation with him, the arousal only slightly making its way down to your core. It could wait, you wanted to wait for Mark, and you hoped it would come again that you’d share another intimate moment. Sex with Mark was incomparable, but he didn’t need to know that over FaceTime.

“Shut up.” You laughed, shaking your head. “If you’re coming then I need to get some rest to get my shit together tomorrow.” You both laughed again, sighing into the pillow underneath you. You could tell he was getting ready for bed too and it was weird to think that he was only across the country and it was much later for him, but you loved that you were on the same sleep schedule for now, it didn’t matter where you were.

“Yeah, I probably need to turn in too.” He had a dopey smile played on his face and you admired it, seeing him relax into the pillows and you hoped nobody was around to see how whipped you were for him. It was embarrassing to think, but you knew it would be fine. Everyone else was probably sleeping already.

“I guess we should say goodnight then?” You said softly, seeing his eyelids get a little heavy. He was tired, but he had a hard time sleeping if he didn’t talk to you before bed. That was sweet.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’ll see you in two days, okay?” He asked, perking up for just a moment, voice slightly groggy. It was hot for him, but maybe you were just thinking about the fact that you could be with him again. It made you a little more excited than it should’ve even if it wasn’t just about sex. Being with Mark was the fun part; the intimacy was an added bonus.

“Okay.” You nodded, giggling happily as you sighed into bed, you felt warm, cozy and excited to see the boy you couldn’t yet call your boyfriend, but it meant the world that he was coming over. You had to get the place ready for the visit, but that was the least of your worries. You hoped he’d still like you if he saw you in your normal setting, it didn’t feel unlikely that he wouldn’t; you’d be a little more stressed but also more comfortable, so maybe it would work itself out. “Goodnight then, yeah.” You smiled through your thoughts.

“Mm, I miss you.” He sighed, eyes dreamy and heavy with sleep. You heart felt like it would beat out of your chest.

“I miss you too.” You spoke softly, looking into the camera to get the same dopey smile from him.

“Goodnight, baby.” He told you, the pet name the perfect end to your night before hanging up with the biggest grin of your life. He made you happy, almost too happy. You clutched your phone to your chest after he hung up, finally relaxing into the pillows. The sooner you could rest, the sooner you could prepare to see Mark. It made the night go a bit more smoothly. Sleeping was easier that night than it had been since you were away from each other and for that, you were more than thankful.

You’d woken up exactly 8 hours later, more rested than you could ever remember feeling, even without an alarm. You’d luckily given yourself night shifts two days in a row, so the morning was your time to get the place ready. Your heart rate spiked every time you remembered that you hadn’t ever been in a position that you’d had someone you were romantically interested in at your house, so the was new and uncharted territory scared you, more excited than you expected as you boxed up your more obvious merchandise and tried to still make your home feel lived-in. The place looked almost barren without the decorations and you realized you were probably in over your head for still trying to hide part of you.

It was mostly your albums going into the extra bedroom. You figured leaving a poster and a few knick-knacks on your shelves wouldn’t hurt. They were low-key enough to not seem suspicious and part of you felt like maybe it was time to confess to Mark, but you weren’t going to risk it beforehand because you wanted him to come over so badly. You wouldn’t let anything ruin that. He bought himself a flight for right after checkout the day after the concert, so you’d be picking him up right after your shift and with the time zone difference, it worked out perfectly.

You missed him more than you thought imaginable, dusting around the place and catching the little spots your housekeeper managed to miss as you rearranged a little furniture to make the space more movable. To be honest, you knew your apartment was in great condition, but you had a lot of nervous energy and cleaning seemed like the best way to get it out in a positive way.

You pulled out your best candles and put the rest of your casual decorations you’d been meaning to hang on the walls, setting them up to where they looked perfect. You stepped back to admire your work, confident enough in your place to where Mark would enjoy it. You were lucky, the place was beautiful when you bought it, so you never were ashamed of bringing people over, but Mark made you a little more nervous than others for obvious reasons. You hoped it was perfect for him.

As you made your way to work, the smiles wouldn’t leave your face. The sun was shining bright in the afternoon and hot even with the crisp Los Angeles air around you and you were thankful because Mark said that the weather had been terrible each place they’d gone on tour so far, you were glad to give him just a bit of relief. The sun beamed down on you through the windows as you smoked down a cigarette on your room’s balcony. You’d smoked so much less than usual lately and the pain of losing a friend had subsided. You were starting to feel like yourself again and were hopefully on your way to making your habit less intense. As you made your way to work, you thought about Mark and what it was going to be like to hold his hand as you drove, and it made you grin stupidly. You sighed, turning the radio up and enjoying the breeze through the windows because in a little over 24 hours, you’d be seeing Mark’s bright and smiling face. It made the separation from him so much more worth it.

Two shifts away from him landing down. The first one was a breeze with what felt like no issues whatsoever, immediately going home to cuddle in your bed and sleep only one last time alone before Mark was there. Dipping your fingers into the waistband of your pyjama pants, you thought about Mark and it almost felt wrong, but you liked the time for yourself and the thoughts about him were too enticing to ignore and the nerves of him visiting would settle with the assistance. You were looking way too forward to the visit to say you weren’t even dating, but you were hopeful either way.

You woke up the next day with extreme butterflies in your stomach. You wore a nice outfit to work and spent extra time on your face just in case things got a little too jumbled together in your schedule. You’d gotten up earlier than you should have, preparing the house just a bit more and finishing up your laundry. Things had to be perfect and your nerves were intense, but not negative. Much less scary than when you left to see the first concert. It felt like it had been ages since it all started, reminding yourself that the friendship and love interest was all still relatively new, so you couldn’t jinx it just yet. Work was a breeze, easily filling the place with full bellies and a light enjoyment all around the customer tables. Maybe it was just the excitement of what was to come after you got off. Your life was going perfect, better than you ever thought it could as of late.

You were a little too excited to clock out, quickly shutting the doors and helping to get everyone out and cleaned as soon as possible. Mark texted you a few hours prior that he was getting on the plane and he would be landing sometime soon. You excitedly helped bus the rest of the tables and got dishes done, making a smooth closing easy. You were mopping the last floor when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket again, grinning when you saw Mark’s text.

I’m here!! we just touched down so I’ll be waiting for you in a little bit!!

You quickly locked the doors after made sure that everyone clocked out and was ready to leave. You went outside, jogging excitedly to your Mustang and hopped in, nerves shaking you up only slightly as you started it up. You’d get to the airport just in time to pick Mark up after he left the plane and got his bags. You couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you made your way there, excitedly running inside after parking.

You waited inside on a bench for a couple minutes and felt a soft tap on the shoulder, sweet laughter filled your ears as you were pulled into a sweet embrace, Mark’s face nuzzled into your neck and his soft breaths made you feel dizzy. You couldn’t believe he was in your arms again and it almost felt like you were meeting for the first time again. You held him tight, not wanting to ever let go and let the fantasy end. It still didn’t feel quite real. You giggled, pulling away slightly to get a glance at him, but you were met with a masked face with a hat on to cover him, which you definitely understood the reasoning to, but you wanted to quickly get somewhere more private to greet him in a way you felt was proper. You tugged his arm along and pulled him with you, his free hand dragging his luggage as you made your way down the escalators out to the car. The airport was loud, so it was hard to talk to Mark anyway, but you could feel his eyes boring holes into your head, glancing back and each time seeing his cheeks making his eyes disappear into crescents from his smiling.

“I cleaned my house for you.” You told him as the place quieted down, seeing his eyebrow quirk up.

“Someone trying to impress me?” Mark joked, grinning somehow wider. “I’m actually really excited to see your place and not have tons of people around me and in the same house.” He sounded relieved and you were slightly concerned for a minute. It flashed in your mind that it was probably really hard for him to deal with that many people around him at all times. You knew a little about their housing situations, but he’d talked about it just a bit.

“You all live together right?” you asked, thumbing over his hand and you heard him sigh.

“Yeah, kinda.” He shrugged. “There’s twenty-one of us, right?” You heard him hesitate and you realized that this was the first time that Mark was really opening up, but it was also the first time he wasn’t in close proximity of the other members and not even in the same town as them for the first time since you met him. And you’d only been around when he was in a group of seven, so the reality of how they were living was more concerning than you’d thought about before. You nodded. You could tell Mark was gathering his words. “There’s technically ten of us in 127, which I know you know is my main promoting group,” You nodded again. “but nine of us live together. Nine. Ten of us lived together before one of our members, his name’s WinWin, went to China with WayV,” You heard him sigh, furrowing your brows and almost feeling terrible for him. It wasn’t often you thought about that kind of thing, but it was becoming obvious that it was something he dealt with daily.

“That.. is a lot. It sounds overwhelming.” You turned to him with a frown, just wanting to comfort him. “Well, you get to have a small getaway, right?” you tried to reassure him, seeing a sad smile creep on his cheeks, pulling his mask down in the dark empty garage.

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it.” He sighed happily. “It’s going to be a really nice escape.” When you walked up to your car, seeing the Mustang had his jaw dropping. It was nearly as if he’d just laid eyes on a Lamborghini. “Is this your car?” He asked, grinning when you unlocked it with your keys, letting go of his hand to open the trunk for his bags. “Holy shit, I’ve got myself a badass.” He pulled the mask off of his ear, grin shining brightly and setting his bag in the trunk, admiring the car.

“I guess so.” You shrugged, looking the vehicle over and not thinking a huge deal of it. It was an upgraded model you got straight off the lot and you took great care of it, so you were proud, but it wasn’t as big of a deal as Mark was making it out to be. “I like it, it takes me places.” You teased, raising a brow at Mark, who was inching his way closer to you. You hoped the parking garage was private enough because you grabbed Mark by the jacket and pulled him flush to you, just close enough to where your faces were an inch from each other.

“You take me places.” He told you, closing the space between the two of you with a firm kiss, lips sliding against yours like his life depended on it. The words fluttered in your stomach. You felt good, like you were an escape to the life he was so used to living. You loved that Mark made you feel so detrimental with every kiss he gave you, his soft hands finding place on your sides, gently thumbing over the fabric of your shirt. You pulled away with a grin, seeing his shy smile and a bright blush on his cheeks.

“The only place I’m taking you is home.” You told him, biting your lip and seeing him shy away again.

“Okay!” Mark laughed nervously, biting his lip and hugging you tightly, sighing into your neck. “I’m so glad to see you.” You felt your heart race, pulling away so you could get in the car.

“Are you hungry?” You asked him, grinning and wondering if he was properly taking care of himself since he was so busy.

“Starving.” He told you, making his way over to the passenger side. “Maybe you should show me your way around Los Angeles?” He smirked playfully, slipping into the car and admiring the inside.

“Like a date?” you joked, grinning as he settled into the seat and shut the door.

“I’m all yours.” Mark softly smiled, reaching over to gently lay his hand on your lap. It surprised you how affectionate Mark seemed to be in comparison to how he seemed in videos you’d seen of him and he was definitely more of an open book than you’d thought. He’d told you much more than you’d ever expected to hear from him, and it made him seem so vulnerable. You had one hand on the steering wheel as you reversed out of your spot, making your way out of the parking garage before you tangled your fingers with his, opting to drive with your left hand. Holding hands with Mark was sweet, his clammy fidgety hands between your fingers made your heart warm and the heat rise on your cheeks. “You’re actually a good driver.” He told you, bright smile flashing. You rolled your eyes and thought of all the times that your friends had told you that you weren’t.

“Don’t let my friends hear you.” You told him, grinning. “They all think I want to star in Tokyo Drift or something.” You earned a soft laughter, thumbing over the back of your hand.

“My friend Johnny drove us around in Chicago once and I almost threw up. I wouldn’t tell him that though. I mean he’s a good driver! He was just too excited to show us around.” The mention of Johnny’s name made your heart rate spike again, swallowing hard. “You also have a nicer car, so that might help.” He made you laugh, rolling your eyes again.

“I paid incredibly too much for it right off the lot, but it was my dream car for a while.” You told him, looking over to see him still starry eyed.

“At least you can drive.” You snorted at that, grinning at his childlike ways. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t drive, but you were sure he definitely didn’t have the time to learn and with the abundance of drivers he had it seemed weird for him to take himself around. “Taemin tried to drive us once here and our manager literally made him get out of the car so he could drive. Man was heartbroken.” You snorted harder, thinking about Taemin pouting and being forced into a passenger seat.

“Does he drive at home?” You asked, biting your lip because you already kind of knew the answer.

“Jongin said he’s terrible. But yes, he does drive.” He said through giggles. You sighed, pulling up into the street you lived on before skillfully parking into a spot in the garage, making Mark raise his eyebrow at you, slightly impressed. “See? I could never do that!” He grinned again. The awe he had in his eyes when you did anything blew your mind, making your chest tight and you felt like a teenager inviting your boyfriend over when your parents weren’t home. It wasn’t the same kind of forbidden, but it was close.

You walked Mark up the stairs, slight small talk between the two of you as he ranted softly about being so tired. You knew exactly how tired he was, you knew he was between two groups that were touring back to back and you just wanted him to rest, but he was making it seem less tiring than it was. You soothed his mind as you listened to him rant. He seemed to need someone to do that with who was outside of the situation, so you were happy to be of assistance. He was sweet and didn’t want you to worry, but you were mostly just glad you could be in his arms again. You didn’t know how long the fling would last, so you would savor it as long as possible, carefully walking him to the front entrance where he looked awestruck again, observing the many different lights and decorations around as you unlocked the door with your keys, seeing him bite his lip. He looked a bit nervous, like he was doing something he shouldn’t. Which was partially true.

“I cleaned for you.” You warned Mark.

“You said that already.” He laughed before squeezing your hip.

You grinned as you opened the door up, his fingers tangled with your left hand as he followed you inside, eyes beaming around the place as he took it all in. You felt him let go of your hand, slight confusion on your face before you felt arms around your waist, pulling a smile to your lips as the door shut behind you. You felt him hold you tightly from behind, his chin resting in the crook of your neck and sighing softly into your hair.

“I really missed you.” He told you. You could feel the warmth of his face against your skin and it felt intoxicating, relieving you of the stress from your last few hectic weeks. “I, like, think about you all the time, everyone tells me to shut up.” He spoke softer, just holding you in his embrace for a while longer, loving the contact and you wondered how you’d gotten so lucky. This amazing boy walked into your heart and was having a hard time leaving and for once, it wasn’t your fault. You hadn’t done anything special, but there he was, thousands of miles away from home and in your apartment to spend time with you before who knows what scheduling he had in the near future. It was unreal.

Mark had fallen asleep quickly after laying down in your bed with you, promises of he was sorry for being so sleepy as he thumbed over your hips through your oversized t-shirt and he couldn’t quite get it through his mind that you didn’t actually care at all. It was nice to be laying in bed with him, not a worry in the world and you weren’t at all concerned about work, everything had gone much smoother in the last few days than you expected and you were making quite a bit of money and saw pretty good reviews, so all you had to focus on was Mark sleeping peacefully in your bed for the next few hours, dozing off right next to him, his head laying on your chest. His kind, sweet innocent nature made the room a thousand percent cozier.

You woke up with Mark’s nose nuzzled into the crook of your neck and his arm uncomfortably laid over your body. The first thing you did was snort, seeing his messy hair and his open mouth. You hoped he was dreaming well, clearly sleeping peacefully enough to knock the blankets to the edge of the bed and push the pillow he was supposed to be laying on off of it. You hadn’t seen him sleep that hard yet, but since the stress of the SuperM tour for that segment was off of him for a few days, you knew he needed the rest before he headed home for practice and then to Spain. You gently moved yourself off the bed, trying your hardest not to wake him and replace your body with the extra pillow before softly covering him up.

You sighed peacefully, looking at him sleeping heavily on the bed, seeming to not have woken him up as you slipped onto your balcony to smoke, putting a cigarette to your lips before taking a deep breath in. You looked back in through the window to see Mark still sleeping sweetly, cuddled around the pillow you left him, a smile gracing your lips as you took a seat on the balcony, looking over the city. It was just before dawn and it had been a while since you’d taken the time to appreciate the sky. Mark helped you slow down. You never once thought that someone could change you, but he brought you new surprises each day.

You had your knees pulled to your chest while the cool breeze passed over you. It never got too cold in Los Angeles, so sitting out was nice even in winter. You took a few drags from your cigarette, watching the stars glisten and wondered how you got so lucky as you tried to pull yourself awake from the nap. You yawned slightly and a small gasp left your lips when you heard the balcony door open, quickly turning back to see a yawning Mark with his eyes hardly open. He shot you a smile and rubbed his eyes, taking a seat next to you. “Good morning.” He spoke softly, eyeing the cigarette in your hand.

You grinned at him. “Sleep well?” You asked, seeing his sleepy grin. “You were out pretty hard. I didn’t think my bed was that comfortable.” You teased, taking another drag. You didn’t miss how he eyed it.

“Yeah, it was probably the best nap I’ve had in about 6 years now.” Mark laughed, wrapping his own arms around his knees, yawning again. “You’re comfortable.” He teased, sighing. “You sleep okay? I woke up and you were gone.”

You shrugged in response. “I slept fine, yeah.” You nodded. “You sleep like a rock.” His laugh could bring daises back to life.

“I guess I needed it.” Mark was still eyeing your cigarette, furrowing your brows as you followed his eyes. “Do you smoke a lot?” He asked, eyes innocent.

You were embarrassed, swallowing softly. “I-I guess I do.” You answered honestly, shrugging and taking another drag. “Probably more than I should.” You’d cut down a lot, but not enough to be rid of the habit.

Mark nodded. “Did you, uh, ever-“ You knew what he was about to say, you’d heard it a million times and it hurt you each time someone said it, you just wished it didn’t have to come out. “Think about quitting?” You knew that in his line of work, he wasn’t really allowed to smoke, just like everyone else he was around. It was Mark’s second strike since the PDA in the bowling alley, and it made you nervous.

“Not-not really. I’ve put it down a few times, but honestly it’s just relaxing.” Your face was red, and you felt awkward, looking down and taking another drag as you sighed. Mark swallowed, blinking and scooting closer to you and you could see him biting his lip from the corner of your eyes.

“Oh, okay, um,” Mark started, but the damage was already done. “I’m sorry, that was, um, kind of rude.” He sighed again, fiddling with his fingers. “I-I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, you know.” Mark told you. You responded with a nod, but just needed a moment to cool down over it. You were frowning a bit, just trying to finish your cigarette. You had to give it to him, he was good at taking his foot out of his mouth. You just wish it hadn’t gone in.

“I get it a lot.” You shrugged, keeping your eyes away from his. You hated being embarrassed about it, especially since you knew everyone who tried to get you to quit was right, but it was an easy way to relax and you didn’t like that people told you what to do. “I just don’t like to be reminded of stuff I don’t like about myself.” You both smiled at that, earning a shrug from Mark.

“You can say that again.” He grinned, looking over at you. You put the cigarette out, smiling over at him. He reached over, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb before gently pecking you on the lips. “It doesn’t bother me that much, I’m just not used to it. Nobody around me smokes. It’s just-“ He shrugged again, making you smile. “Different.”

You both got up from the balcony ground, making your way inside. “Let’s go shower, you sweat in your sleep.” He laughed. “Which makes me sweat, so.” You teased him, grinning.

“It was a long day, okay.” He shook his head, already tugging off his shirt and tossing it over his shoulder. You took a slight look, biting your lip softly and tugging him into the bathroom by his wrist.

-

“That was like, the most fancy shower I’ve ever been in.” Mark giggled softly, drying his hair off with one of your plush towels. You shook your head, smiling at his antics. You’d just had slightly messy, but definitely sweet sex in the shower and he was just thinking about your bathroom. You had to admit, you did have a really nice shower and you loved it but hearing him talk about it filled you with a sense of pride. “You’ve got like, a really nice house.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Come on, your place has got to be nice, you’re an idol for god’s-sake.” You saw him shrug, smiling back at you.

“I mean, it’s nice, but you’ve got this place to yourself.” He told you, looking around your apartment, wide eyed with a towel around his waist. You tried not to stare, but you liked the way Mark looked and you couldn’t deny it. “This is like, the perfect bachelor pad.” You snorted at him.

“I’m not exactly a bachelor.” You teased, seeing him gasp and cover his face, his bashfulness showing through.

“I can’t tell if you’re saying you’re not single or what you’re trying to get at.” He pouted softly, soft smile showing through. “Because,” He stepped closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I think we’re kind of, um, exclusive.” You couldn’t help your grin, already knowing the truth behind his words, but it was nice to finally hear it from his mouth.

“That was like, the most nervous way to ask me to date you.” You were in another big shirt already, not bothered by him seeing you so casual. He’d seen you at your worst at that point, so you kissed him, your hands placed softly on his cheeks, closing your eyes and feeling his body pressed close. He had basically just told you that you were practically dating, so you had to honor him, knowing it was hard for the situation, but you were willing to settle with that for now. You’d known each other for only a short amount of time at that point, but it was exciting to kind of know where you stood.

“Well I mean, it’s the end of the decade, you know, why not do something crazy while I can?” Mark was looking shy, a blush tinting his cheeks.

“Yeah, why not?” You shrugged, teasing. “I like that you’re willing to take a risk with me.”

“Well, I’ll be in the states quite a bit next year,” He started, grabbing your immediate attention. “Like, I will be here, a lot.” He emphasized. “And I think it’s kinda, um, stupid to ignore the fact that this could work.” You swallowed, blinking and excited to hear what was coming next. “So, I thought, why not? You know? I just think it’s worth it to try.” He smiled again, unable to stop his excitement from showing. Your head was spinning.

“I definitely think you’re right.” You nodded, sighing happily and kissing him softly again, wrapping your arms around his neck. “So I think you should get dressed and we should go on our first date.” It was still slightly dark out, but since you had the nap it felt much later in the day. You shrugged. “Or, you know what?” You piqued his interest.

“Yeah?”

“We could order in, watch a movie, and make out all morning until we fall asleep.”

“That sounds much better.” You saw Mark go to your room, open his suitcase, and pull out a shirt and some shorts, cutely pulling them on. He looked so shy as you watched him, smiling like an idiot and trying to hide himself.

“You don’t have to be so shy, you’re like basically my boyfriend right now.” You teased, grinning and flipping through the subscriptions on your TV as background noise.

“Ah, right now?” He laughed, trying to tug on some socks on one foot, raising a brow at you. “I’m only your boyfriend right now?” He smirked, finally fully dressed and making his way over to your bed, laying sweetly at your side.

“Shut up.” You teased him, running your fingers through his wet hair. He looked around your room, admiring the simple decor and grinning when he saw a small collection of NCT things around your desk. You’d left them there to hopefully make him smile.

“So someone’s become my fan.” Mark joked, seeing him eye the few remaining albums around your shelves. He had no idea that the rest of your memorabilia was in another room, so you’d let him have that one. You were silent for a moment, if only he knew. “Whose photocards did you get?” He laughed, looking back and quirking an eyebrow back up at you. You shrugged playfully, enjoying that he seemed to feel full of himself.

“Well, I got one for Johnny, a Jungwoo, and two for you.” You saw him grin widely at the last part, smiling to himself. “I also have some SuperM albums on the way, I thought you’d enjoy those unboxing if you were here.” You shrugged again, not missing how happy he seemed to get.

“Hm, I think that would be a great date.” Mark joked, grinning widely. “I hope you got my face.”

“I did, because I love your face.” You smirked teasingly, “But I also got Taemin, Ten, Lucas, and literally all of your faces. I bought them all.” You snorted and Mark couldn’t help but to laugh loudly. You didn’t really have the time before you met him to buy your albums because of all the work you were doing to prepare you for your trip, so meeting them was really working in your favor. “You’ve gotta get some kind of paycheck from me, right?” He was enjoying the praise, you could tell.

“I just want to be with you, I don’t need anything from you.” Mark spoke with the sweetest smile on his face. “But, I do like that you care so much.” He shrugged, sitting up and reaching out for your arm. “Come on, let’s go check out Netflix and make ourselves sick on takeout. My treat.” You happily stood up, wrapping your arms around his waist and easily following behind him with your head on his back as he tried to make his way around your house. He was checking everything up and down, being nosy, but you didn’t care. It was his home for the next few days and you wanted him to come back, so it felt like his place too. Mark was your boyfriend for now, at least. You’d enjoy it while you could. “Ah man, this place is crazy!” He spoke in giggles, excitement evident in his voice. “Like I said, our place is nice, but nothing like this!” He admired the beautiful chandelier work, flipping your dimming light switches, and decided to mess with the crystal door handles. He was like a little kid in a candy store. You’d made the place elegant, especially for work parties and personal investment meetings, so you were proud of how it had come along, it was nice for Mark to feel the same way too. “Ya’ll got a pool?” He snorted.

“Yeah, actually, there’s a community pool on the fourth floor, it’s heated too.” You shrugged, hearing Mark sigh happily.

“God, that sounds so nice. We’ll have to go before I leave.”

You pouted in response, not wanting to think about him leaving, you had other things to do and not worry about anything but each other and spending as much time together as you could. You each needed it more than anyone could imagine.

Mark was rather silly, he got bored of the movie he picked super easily, he’d seen the Xander Cage movies so many times that he said even his members got annoyed with it and he was sure to tell you that Donghyuck and Dongyoung were the main ones who said something about it, you noted how cute it was that he used their birth names, it made you feel even closer. He was being sure to show you his music videos, giggling at himself each time he saw himself on screen, making sure you were paying attention and you didn’t have the heart to tell him you’d seen them already even though you were positive he’d just play it off as you liking him.

You’d learned his favorite videos so far were The 7th Sense and Superhuman and was sure to point out that Ten and Taeyong were in each, pointing them out and singing along excitedly. “We have such a fun time filming the videos, they’re the best part of the job.” He told you, trying to keep still as he tangled his legs along with yours on the couch. “We film all over the world, too! We get to travel so much, it’s unreal.” He was grinning like an idiot, pride overwhelming his speech. “Ten was actually supposed to be in 127 with me and Taeyong, but he got hurt and now he’s in WayV with Lucas and-“ he sighed happily. “We’re all just one huge, like, massive family.” The smile on his face was bright, excited to show you each video, trying to figure out your sound system and dancing in his seat.

“You’re so cute.” You reminded him, running your fingers through his hair when he laid his head on your shoulder. He was small and fragile, definitely someone who liked being taken care of but wouldn’t admit it. “You care so much about them.”

“I really do, I didn’t think I’d like literally everyone in a 21 member group, but we all get along pretty well.” he made sure to tell you, checking his phone and you didn’t miss his lock screen picture, a photo of 127 right after the end of the Neo City tour. It was a picture of them all in Vancouver where Mark was from. You recognized it easily. You were keeping up with them more than before, so you were extremely up to date. “We’re missing Jungwoo right now, so it kind of sucks.” He frowned. “And we don’t interact much with Wayv right now, but hopefully next year we’re all gonna be back together again!” He said hopefully, grinning and responding to his texts. You’d seen quite a few unanswered messages, but you wouldn’t pry.

“There’s really 21 of you?” You asked, feeding into his excitement.

“Uh, yeah, it, uh, gets kinda crazy when you get into it, but like, we’ve got 21 in the entirety of NCT,” He laughed, turning his body toward you to fully explain. You knew the explanation well enough to tell anyone, but you’d listen excitedly. He told you about it before, but each time he talked about it you listened, starry eyed and willing to let him explain. “I was in NCT Dream for a while, then I kinda, like, graduated, and now it’s just the younger ones, so I kinda got kicked out.” He laughed again, shrugging. “I miss it, but SM has so many plans for me and I’m just here to follow along and I’ve debuted like ten times at this point.” He was exaggerating, so you were going to play with him.

“Ten?” You snorted, laying your legs across him on the couch as he pulled up some NCT Dream videos, watching him instead as Chewing Gum was the first one playing on the YouTube playlist.

“Well, I debuted four times, but that’s not the point.” Mark was laughing now, giggling as he was eyeing the TV. “God! I look so young! That was only a few years ago!” He shook his head, eyeing the video.

“You’re only 20 now, so you’ve grown a bit. I mean, look at how different Renjun and Jeno look!” You grinned, hoping to pull excitement from him. Mark looked at you with wide eyes and his jaw dropped.

“You know the members?” He asked excitedly, blinking and in disbelief. You could play dumb, you’d learned it was a bit more fun that way.

“I pay attention.” You shrugged with a giggle, seeing Mark sigh happily, grin not leaving his face. “My boyfriend is in NCT, I’ve gotta learn a bit about them, right?”

Mark nodded, shrugging playfully. “That’s dedication, I knew I picked a good one.” You couldn’t find it in you to feel guilty because of hos excited he seemed to be. You both shared giggles, feeling him scoot closer and wrap his arms happily around your waist and hug you tight, happy to have someone care so deeply about him. “It’s so exciting, I-“ You felt him tense a little, getting a bit more serious. He sighed heavily, shrugging.

“What?” You prodded, running your fingers back through his hair.

“It-It’s nothing.” He stilled, arms staying around your waist and his head still laying on your chest in the embrace.

“It-It’s just, um,” He sighed again. “I’ve never really dated anyone before, it’s just.. really exciting.” He was bashful, you could feel his cheeks pull into a smile, a small giggle coming from his lips.

Your cheeks were burning up, kissing the top of his head to make sure he didn’t feel too awkward. You didn’t care that he was inexperienced like that, it didn’t bother you. It felt nice that he was opening himself up, you liked being the new experience. “It’s okay, I promise.” You reminded him, moving his hair out of his face as he came back into reality from his confession. “I’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”

“You’re just, like, amazing.” He was sighing again, this time of relief and you couldn’t stop your own giggle. “And Everyone dates quietly sometimes, but I’ve never had that, really. Like Johnny’s dated a couple people, Baekhyun’s had a few girlfriends, Jongin too, Lucas dated people when he was younger, so now it’s like,” He groaned, obviously slightly embarrassed and he talked a lot when he was nervous. “I’ve got someone.” You were blushing again, loving the way he was confessing; so cute when he was bashful. You heart was beating heavy in your chest, glad to just be making someone so happy. It felt good to you too, finally having someone who you never thought in a million years would be in your home, making sure you knew he was yours. You didn’t expect that conversation to come up out of your knowledge of his members, your guilt being pushed into the back of your mind. You didn’t care at that point, just glad to have him so excited. Maybe you’d confess soon, it almost felt right, but the moment was good, and you didn’t want to change it as he picked his head up, happily pecking your lips and you could easily see the bright blush on his face, giggling when you finally met eyes.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Mark Lee, you are a sap.” You both grinned, pecking his lips once again. “And I like you a lot, so I’m happy to have you as my someone too.” His smile was bright enough to put the streetlights out of business.

“Good, because hopefully you’ll see a lot of me this year.” He snorted, kissing you sweetly again, slightly parting his mouth and you couldn’t help but to laugh. “And I’m excited to see a lot of you.” He spoke against your lips.

“Someone’s eager.” You teased, letting him get entry on your mouth, his soft tongue swiping along your lip and easily moving your legs to lay you under him on the couch, soft laughs coming from the both of you as you kissed passionately. His hands made their way up your sides and squeezed softly. He made a soft noise as his fingers felt your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake, easily thumbing over them. You didn’t mind his pent-up frustrations, rather enjoying that he was riled up all because of you, especially since you hadn’t seen him in a few weeks. You liked being his center of attention, you couldn’t deny it.

Mark kissed down your neck, his soft breaths making it evident he was still nervous to be so close, but eager to please you. “Is this okay?” He asked, he always did. The sun was peaking golden in the mid-day even with the lights off. You loved seeing him praise you silently in the glow. He left soft nibbles on your skin, pushing your shirt up just below your chest, his hand smoothing over your ribcage and kissing just above your collarbone. You moved your leg and pressed your thigh between his, giggling at the groan that came out. “Baby,” He soothed, not missing how he softly ground on your skin, loving the attention you gave him.

He moved back up to kiss your lips, soft hands roaming around your thighs and playing with the hem of your shorts. He gently cupped between your legs, kissing you harder as he humped down on your leg through his shorts. The friction was nice and warm, just enough to get you going. Mark was like an eager puppy, loving the not-quite-enough touches.

His finger pressed down between your folds through your shorts, his lips eager to get more leverage, tongue trying to gain access as he steadied himself. For some reason it was really hot that he was using you to get off, you hadn’t quite experienced that before and with Mark it was such an innocent way for him, he was sensitive and you hadn’t seen each other for a while, so the need was obvious. He was panting into your mouth after a moment of grinding on you, whining softly and you couldn’t help but giggle, kissing him back with fervor. You loved the way he felt against you as he slid his fingers under your shorts and underwear, playing gingerly on your clit with the tips of his fingers.

“Mark, baby,” You spoke against his lips, you could tell he was close, his face was hot, and he buried it into your neck as he kept his hips moving, his fingers trying their hardest and making you choke a little on your breaths. “Fuck,” It was a sweet scene, the neediness in his body as you let him use you. His fingers didn’t stop, losing focus and making your vision blur until he stilled his body, heaving breaths in as he reached his high, nearly collapsing onto your body as he whined. You giggled at how spent he was, running your fingers through his hair. You weren’t too worried about getting off, as he was clearly needing it more than you, especially since he spent 98% of his time surrounded by people and he was a pretty hormonal guy, so you understood. He was silent for a moment, trying to come back to reality and you knew the groan from his throat meant he wasn’t proud of himself. He moved his hand back to your thigh, his body warm. He was silent for a moment when you felt him tense up.

“Oh god, oh man, I can’t believe I just did that.” Mark groaned again, pouting and not facing himself toward you. He turned over and laid next to you side by side on the couch, hiding his face in his hands with an obvious stain in the front of his shorts. You could see his embarrassed smile under his wrist, turning over to giggle and scoot closer to him.

“Don’t be shy,” You teased, tapping your fingers against his hand, trying to get him to come back to you. “I liked it.” You admitted, biting your lip and seeing his eye peak from under his hand.

“You did?” He was giggling again, pouting softly and he looked so cute, you couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, I like it when you’re needy.” He groaned again, covering his arm with his face as you tried to ignore the heat in your core.

“God, I sound like a teenager.”

“Mm, a hot teenager.” You both laughed, making you think again, knowing that wasn’t what you meant. “Maybe I shouldn’t say that.”

“Yeah, maybe not.” He was finally laughing again, turning over to lay his arm along your side, tickling your hip. He kissed you much softer this time, his lower lip poking between yours as his fingers made their way back down, grinning into his kiss as they pressed into the waistband of your shorts, slipping underneath to work on you again. You gasped softly into his mouth, moving your leg over his hip as he got better access. He slipped his fingers down and teased around in your arousal, a gasp pulling from his throat when he felt how turned on you were. He stayed for a moment, rubbing at your clit to get you going again before he pressed two digits inside, groaning into your mouth at how wet you were, his thumb rubbing back over your clit. It didn’t take much to get you off, leaving you panting into his mouth and his soft fingers working themselves on you. “Good?” He asked, working you through your orgasm and smoothing over your folds to bring you back to earth.

“Mm, it’s always good with you.” You assured him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pecking his lips once more. “But you should probably change, I’ll wash your dirty clothes.” You grinned, seeing him nod. “I saw that interview where Johnny said you wash your clothes when you can, so let me take care of you.” He was rolling his eyes immediately. He regretted every interview he’d ever done all at once.

“Alright, alright, don’t embarrass me more, okay.” He teased, sitting up and wishing you to follow him to get his clothes in order.

Things were easy with Mark, much easier than your other relationships, for some reason he had much lower standards and it didn’t take much to amuse, entertain, or impress him. He was adorable and you loved the fact that every time you spoke he had stars in his eyes as if you were the amazing one and the all-famous perfect person of his dreams. You worried vaguely about your future and how you’d end up, but you wanted to have fun for the time being and worry about the craziness later. Luckily you both had the money to see each other pretty often, you would just have to find the time. After seeing his schedule for the year though, you weren’t too worried. You’d have so many opportunities to see him and it made the idea much better.

There was only a hint of sadness once you had finally come to his last night of visiting, you’d spent most of your time relaxing and doing Mark’s laundry to almost rehabilitate him from the hectic tour life, but you also spent 6 hours in Dave & Buster’s together in Hollywood after a very thrilling street show of lookalikes where Mark threw two hundred dollar bills into the tip jar. The Willy Wonka cried, so it was safe to say you enjoyed your time with him. It was your last night together and you wanted to make it special, so of course you were laid in bed finishing the most recent season of Stranger Things.

For some reason, you had also ended up in two groupchat text messages, one with SuperM that somehow always seemed empty when you texted in it, so that was vaguely disappointing, but you did enjoy the chat with some of the guys from 127, a shocking twist, and that one always was very fun. The chat included you and Mark, Jaehyun, Yuta, Johnny and Taeyong, so the combination was always very interesting. You had to hide your excitement when you finally got to talk to them but talking to them normally really made you realize how they were normal people, just like Mark. It felt like a fantasy. You loved being included in the fun and finally having more conversations with Taeyong was nice. You liked him a lot, you thought.

You couldn’t quite tell what it was, but Baekhyun especially didn’t seem to be bothered with you and it only slightly got to your head, but you realized that it wasn’t easy to please everyone. You knew he’d been through a lot in his time and you were sure he knew how dangerous the whole dating thing was and since you and Mark were trying to keep under wraps, maybe it was best if they weren’t all too involved.

So, there you were, tangled up in Mark’s arms as he responded to the “foreigners+yong” groupchat. Johnny named it with pride, he was amused and Taeyong liked it too. They’d thoroughly explained the name to you, and you listened, just enjoying that they were amused by telling you that Jaehyun lived in America for 4 years and where the others were born, you didn’t mind at all.

You sighed into Mark’s chest, thumbing softly over his torso and smiling when he giggled at how it tickled. “God, you’re so cute.” You reminded him with starry eyes.

“Text that in the groupchat, they’ll for real never believe it if you don’t say it.” He teased, smirking as you rolled your eyes at him.

“I don’t have to say everything in a group chat.” You teased him back, grinning when his smile was shining. You sighed happily, laying your head back on his chest. “Mm, let’s order pizza.” You suggested.

“God, yes, I’m starving.” He groaned happily, tossing his phone away from him on your bed. He told you how much he liked your bed and you wished he could stay in it forever, but hopefully it wouldn’t be long until he could again. “And we should order, um, dessert too, because, yeah.” He was giggling again, kissing the top of your head. “Gotta splurge on the last night in paradise. My treat.” You snorted in response, shaking your head and pulling his phone back up to grab it and call for delivery. He didn’t mind showing you his phone and yours was on the charger across the room, so you pulled up Uber Eats and as you were placing the order, you saw a text message from Baekhyun saying to call him when he could.

You’d seen him ignore a few phone calls in the day, opting to deal with the backlash the next day after his flight back home, so you didn’t think much of it. Mark was tapping his fingers on your back to whatever rhythm he was humming as you placed the final order, handing him his phone back. “Baekhyun texted you.” You told him, smiling and seeing his shrug.

“Yeah, he’s been, um, kinda weird since the first leg of the tour ended, I’m not sure what’s up with him.” Mark shrugged, obviously not bothered by Baekhyun’s actions. You figured you shouldn’t be either.

“He said he wanted you to call him.” You heard Mark sigh with a pout, looking down at you as if it was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll, uh, call him before we go to bed, I wanna savor this moment and, um, not really think about work.” Mark was smiling. You of all people understood that more than anyone, so you were happy to let him do it. Mark was the one person that helped you forget about work and realize that sometimes living is more important, so you liked that he felt that way sometimes with you. He often told you that Johnny had to force him to focus on his happiness, so you were glad for that, but inside you knew it was nice to have someone like a partner tell you as more than a friend.

-

Baekhyun was pacing around the EXO dorm, alone. He’d debated on calling Mark for days to confirm scheduling for interviews and photoshoots with SuperM. He wanted to let Mark have his relaxation, but when it got around to him that the younger boy was hanging out with you, his anger rose high in his chest, not believing that he was still in the position to break the two of you up and he hadn’t done it. He was waiting for Mark’s text back, hoping he would come to his senses and stop ignoring his job.

Yes, Mark was technically on a short break between his schedules, but Baekhyun for some reason was the only person managers and the agency were calling to confirm the scheduling for SuperM and he was maybe getting really antsy about it, but he was annoyed that you were still parading one of his members around without him knowing your secret. He was even more annoyed that somehow you’d ended up in a groupchat with them and everyone seemed to be fine with it, even Taeyong who knew about what you were doing.

Baekhyun wasn’t new to the game, he knew how often people pretended to know nothing about them just to get closer and needless to say, it pissed him off and he just wanted everyone to be truthful and let them decide on their own terms if they wanted to pursue anything upon them knowing. Hell, even Jongdae was fine with a non-idol fan time after time and he was even getting married to one, but that was only after his own choice and decision on the matter. Baekhyun groaned loudly, noting that it was nearing four in the afternoon and he hadn’t gotten a response from Lucas or Mark.

He paced around, grumbling to himself and wishing he didn’t have a secret to tell; it was nearly eating him alive and he hated keeping secrets.

He sent Taeyong a text, knowing he’d landed back in Korea just a few days ago and he was supposed to be headed to Spain soon after days of rehearsals with the rest of 127.

Where the hell is Mark?

Baekhyun didn’t mean to be so aggressive, his junior didn’t deserve it. Back at the SM Building, Taeyong was definitely getting back into practice mode for the following 127 tour, he was always practicing for the next thing and Baekhyun knew that. It only took a few minutes before Taeyong responded. Baekhyun had the younger boy’s practice schedule practically memorized by that point.

He’s still in America!! Don’t worry, he’s okay! 😁

Baekhyun didn’t care that Mark was okay. Well, he did, but he had to care more about his new job as a leader above all. Baekhyun audibly groaned, tossing his phone on the couch and trying his best to calm down. He shook his head, annoyed and carding his fingers through his hair. He took a breather before picking his phone back up to respond.

Is he with you know who?

Baekhyun didn’t like being so vague, but he couldn’t risk someone seeing Taeyong’s phone by chance and getting a little too curious, he couldn’t risk anyone else knowing. It would be a PR nightmare if it got out that Mark was with you. Baekhyun didn’t know who was near, so he tried to be subtle. He wasn’t very good at being ominous when he was annoyed.

ummmmmm, I’m at practice, I can call you in a minute and we can talk about it 🥰

Taeyong was always really good at calming them down, always sending little emojis to relax them and Baekhyun couldn’t even try to be mad. He was disgruntled because Taeyong seemed to not be so worried about the situation, but Baekhyun had been in the dating position before and with EXO and their crazy scandals and multiple under-the-table dating situations, he could understand why Taeyong wouldn’t understand what kind of position he was in. What he didn’t know was that you and Taeyong had become somewhat friends and Baekhyun would be furious if he found out. Baekhyun just waited for the call, hoping that Taeyong would tell him it would all be okay. He was a leader himself, so maybe he would be able to help smooth things over. But Baekhyun knew. Baekhyun knew where Mark was if he wasn’t with the other part of his group and somehow the other members being so nonchalant about it annoyed him even further.

Baekhyun hadn’t even told Jongin yet about what he knew. The only person he’d really told was Jongdae and he didn’t offer much help, obviously having more important things on his own plate than a possible dating scandal that didn’t involve him. He’d been through the ringer enough and didn’t care anymore, but Baekhyun couldn’t let anyone else know because he didn’t want to seem like he was messing up his leader position already and he couldn’t afford that. Chanyeol knew and was busy with his own schedules, which was a pain in the ass because he was usually the only one who could calm Baekhyun down. He didn’t offer much more than an ear to listen when he called after the situation went down in Chicago, which wasn’t Chanyeol’s usual game. He appreciated the listening and small attempts to calm him down, but it still didn’t help the stress he was under.

Taeyong - Mobile popped up on Baekhyun’s screen and he gasped when he saw it light up, quickly scrambling to answer.

“Taeyong!”

“H-hi hyung!” Taeyong responded through heavy breaths. The background was silent, so Baekhyun hoped he was in a safe spot to talk. “What-what’s up?” Taeyong was nervous and Baekhyun could tell. He didn’t want to scare the boy, but he wanted to know what was going on.

“Mark’s still in America?” Baekhyun asked with a huff, hearing silence take up the conversation. He continued. “With-“

“Yeah, yeah he is..” Taeyong had cut him off, sighing. “He-um, stayed back to hang out, relax, spend a little alone time before we head to Spain, then back to New York, um, you know, just taking a break.” Taeyong cleared his throat, not knowing what other information to offer.

Baekhyun was pursing his lips, listening to Taeyong talk. He was frustrated, but he didn’t want to take it out on the boy. He had enough on his plate with worrying about 19 other members. “Does he know?”

Taeyong sighed again. Baekhyun tried to keep his cool.

“Does he know that he’s been getting lied to? Does he know yet?” Baekhyun repeated himself, hearing Taeyong sadly breathe through the speaker. Taeyong knew exactly what he was talking about. Taeyong was fully aware that Baekhyun was discussing your neglect to tell Mark about your knowledge of them, about the lightsticks and keychain he found in your bag and the pin nobody knew about. He’d had to hear all about it in their few moments alone in the last bit of the tour. Baekhyun wasn’t exactly quiet about his annoyance, and Taeyong was quite a bit weirded out by it, but Baekhyun was his friend so he was going to let him vent as much as he needed to.

“No..” Taeyong was quiet for a moment, silence speaking louder than words. “I-I haven’t told him.. nobody knows..” Taeyong swallowed, feeling like he needed to make a comment to hopefully calm his senior down, maybe just a little. “Mark’s just.. so happy..” He said quieter, hoping Baekhyun would understand. “Don-don’t tell him yet. Just-let him have this for a minute maybe, I-I guess I understand if you have to, but he’s really enjoying himself and.. we really like them together..” The last part fell off Taeyong’s tongue and he quickly realized he’d spoken too soon, he was in trouble.

“We?” Baekhyun scoffed, feeling a little angrier as the moments passed. He understood that Mark should be happy, but it wouldn’t stop pulling in his gut that he needed to tell Mark the truth. Taeyong felt like crying.

“We’re all, kind of, in a text with them.. Me, Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun,” Taeyong heard Baekhyun huff over the phone and he felt his chest get tight, he hated that Baekhyun, his senior he looked up to so much, was so upset by the situation. He just wanted everyone to be happy, Baekhyun couldn’t blame him. “We all get along well..”

“So more people know? Did you not tell them either?” Baekhyun scoffed, slumping himself on the sofa with his fingers pressed to his temples. He was going to be sick if he heard any more come from the conversation blowing up.

“I-No, no I didn’t..” Baekhyun could practically hear Taeyong pouting, he felt bad for nagging the poor boy, especially since he’d done it so much on tour and it was almost out of his ability to stop it, but he could have at least helped. Taeyong had a good head on his shoulders and for the most part his advice was looked up to and people listened to him, but he didn’t know Mark nearly as well and the guy seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders, but Baekhyun wasn’t sure anymore.

“Okay, well,” Baekhyun sighed, loudly. “I do have to tell him; otherwise it’s going to eat me alive.” Taeyong gulped again.

“I-“ Baekhyun expected a rebuttal, but Taeyong didn’t come back. “I understand, hyung.”

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun didn’t know why he was the one apologizing, but he hated upsetting Taeyong, he hated upsetting anyone, he just wanted things to go smoothly, but they never did. He was realizing that very quickly.

“I really do get it, I wouldn’t want to be lied to either, but,” Taeyong sighed again. “Let him down easy, Mark might be a little crushed, he might be okay, I don’t really know. He’s fragile though.” Taeyong warned, much quieter than the rest of their conversation and he just wished that Baekhyun would think it over. Baekhyun was their leader after all and he called the shots. “I don’t think I have the heart to tell him.” He was honest, at least.

“Well,” Baekhyun hissed softly. “Let’s hope he’s been told, otherwise he’ll have to do some thinking and making some important decisions. For all we know, maybe he knows.”

“Okay, I understand.” Taeyong was very compliant, definitely knowing what kind of position Baekhyun was in. Baekhyun made the decision to stop the conversation immediately not to grill the boy any longer because he didn’t want to crush the poor boy’s feelings toward him. It was silent for only a moment before Baekhyun chimed in, cheerful as ever in comparison to the previous conversation.

“So, um, any idea where Lucas is?” The pair snorted over the phone, Taeyong tsk-ing through the speaker.

“Ten probably didn’t tell you his phone ended up in a lake after a very serious game of truth or dare, huh?” Taeyong was laughing, making Baekhyun finally enjoy something he was being told. It wasn’t ideal, but it was very Lucas of him.

“Oh my god.” Baekhyun laughed louder. “Okay, well I’ll just talk to Ten, then. Thank you.”

“No problem, hyung.” Taeyong was sure to sweet talk. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” It was sweet for him to offer, but Baekhyun had all the information he needed for the time being.

-

“So, you all ready and packed?” You asked Mark with a pout. It had been nice waking up and Mark had even packed before he got out of his pyjamas, so he embarrassedly was going to end up wearing his usual sleep shorts and a white t-shirt to the airport. You liked how comfortable he was with you and how dorky he was for closing his suitcases prematurely before realizing he should have changed, but he wasn’t going to risk opening the perfectly packed bags. You were busy sorting out a work issue so you couldn’t stop him before the damage was done, but it seemed fitting for Mark’s goofy personality.

“Unfortunately.” He pouted back, crawling back into bed with you and under the covers. You still had a few hours to kill before needing to bring him to catch his flight, so at least he would be comfortable, pulling the blankets over the two of you and practically wrapping himself around you like a koala in regret of having to leave. He’d forgotten to call Baekhyun back, but he had a plan to do it once he got through customs and waited for boarding. He liked leaving work behind sometimes, even if it got him in trouble, but he understood when you couldn’t do the same.

“So, are we going to cuddle until we have to leave, or?” You teased him, kissing his forehead and grinning at how giggly he got.

“I mean, I guess, until I get bored or something.” He was smiling even bigger, looking up at you with stars in his eyes. So, you both did just that, laying together and trying to remember to make sure Mark had grabbed everything he could’ve possibly brought. He made sure to remind you that he was always forgetting things, but he was actually fully prepared, so it made the last few hours uneventful. “But at the same time, it’s nice to just lay here with you.”

“Sappy.” You taunted, scooting down the bed and nuzzling into his neck.

“Yeah, yeah.” He laughed, squeezing you tightly and sighing softly into your t-shirt. “You don’t mind though.” You both laughed, sighing again.

“I absolutely do not!” You reminded him. “I love spending time with you and hearing all the cute things you have to say.” You shrugged, feeling how warm he felt, his heartbeat racing in his chest. You stayed quiet for a moment, just staying in each other’s embrace, enjoying the sweet silence as you lay together. “I like your voice.” The silence was different after your last statement, words hanging off the tip of his tongue as he idly fiddled with the fabric of your top.

“I-um.” Mark started to speak, his words catching in his throat. “I love you.” It came out all at once, no warning. His voice was firm, but shaky and you were more than taken by shock, swallowing and trying to process the words you’d just heard. He just told you he loved you and it had you staring at the wall, feeling like you couldn’t breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears.

There was nothing that could’ve prepared you for the feeling you felt to hear that come from Mark.

It was an odd silence, from the both of you, taking in the weight of the confession and you tried to come up with a half decent response. You loved Mark, you loved spending time with him, but you hadn’t quite thought about it in that way, you were definitely feeling close to being in love with him, it just wasn’t something you predicted, maybe you thought it would fizzle out and the dream would end before you got to that point in your relationship. It didn’t feel like that moment would come.

“You-uh, you don’t- you don’t need to say it back I-“ Mark cut your thoughts off, pulling you out of your head. You needed to hear it; he was the king of making you feel better. “I just thought I should probably tell you, like.” He laughed softly. “I’ve never really done this before, obviously.” He was smiling again; you felt his cheek press against the top of your head. You picked your own head up, pulling away to look at him, his smiling face with the brightest blush on his cheeks. He was almost too cute. You leaned up to him, pressing a firm kiss on his mouth. You didn’t need to say much to him, just being with him was enough, you could sort your feelings out later, but you needed to let him know you were still in it as long as he was.

“I like you a lot.” You reminded him, squeezing him tight into a hug and pecking his lips once again. You wanted to say it back so badly, but you weren’t sure, you needed to think about it at least for a minute and reevaluate your feelings to make sure it was right. “I really do.”

“And that’s fine.” Mark was giggling softly, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest as he scooted up the bed, leaning his head against yours and sighing. “We can talk about it later, okay?” It seemed like he was taking the words out of your mouth, relaxing into the his position and trying to calm down from his confession.

“Okay.” You nodded, biting your lip and trying not to seem too excited. But you were definitely excited, and your feelings were overwhelmed. You thought for a moment about what the right move would be, but you found nothing. “Wanna have sex?” You asked, biting your lip. It felt right and you both couldn’t help from giggling like children.

“I-um, yeah.” Mark nodded, kissing you once again. “Yeah I do.”

Of course, you were intimate one last time before he left, it only felt right.

Once you both pulled yourselves back together, after some heartfelt kissing and getting back dressed, you knew it was time to start heading out to grab a bite to eat and make your way to the airport to separate for who knew how long. Soon he’d be in Spain, then right back in America, so it wouldn’t be too bad. Plus, you doubted contact would be a problem, Mark was a pretty good texter and you’d had enough conversations on the way to lunch and the airport that you were full of conversational topics for probably the next month.

“And here’s your stop.” You pouted softly as you parked in the airport lot, seeing Mark pull on his face mask and hat to return to his idol life. It was amazing how well you two kept quiet to the public, much easier than you thought it would be. People from your part of Los Angeles paid attention to themselves for the most part unless celebrities were specifically supposed to be somewhere. He leaned over and gently kissed you before tugging the mask over his mouth.

“Walk me in!” Mark said excitedly, nudging your arm and his eyes showed he was grinning like a fool. “We’ll get a couple more minutes together.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine.” You didn’t hate airports, but you weren’t the biggest fan of them, plus it was dangerous in case someone recognized him leaving, and you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself, plus it was daylight. However, you’d do it for Mark. You parked, getting out and helping him grab his bags of, thankfully, mostly fresh and clean laundry. At least you could be useful for something to him.

You walked with your arms by your sides, just in case, and walked one of his bags as he had the other.  

He still hadn’t called Baekhyun yet and that worried you just a little, but you wouldn’t comment on it, it was his business. And sure enough, as you finished checking his bags in, Mark’s phone was ringing again. Mark sighed heavily as he glanced down at the name, shaking his head. He had 2 missed calls from his senior from the night before, but he was waiting until the last possible moment and it seemed like, as if he was on queue and ready. It was time. Mark sighed sadly, finally picking up the phone.

“Hey,” Mark started, swallowing and trying his best not to be annoyed that he was being brought back to work prematurely. “Yeah, I’m at the airport now, my flight leaves in an hour.” His voice flowed smoothly and he knew he was in trouble, but he would try to lighten the blow by being forward and polite.

You worried slightly, but you had to trust he was alright. He sighed heavily.

“Yeah, I’ll call you as soon as I land down.” He was nodding again, pursing his lips together and waiting to stand in line to go through customs. You heard Baekhyun speaking quietly over the phone. “Noon, tomorrow.” You weren’t sure what was being said, but you could tell he wanted to get off the phone already and hug you goodbye, checking around you to make sure nobody was around, and he wasn’t being followed. It came with the job you guessed. “Okay, I’ll see you then. Bye, hyung.” Mark groaned as soon as he was off the phone, looking back up at you with a sad smile. “Back to work, I suppose.” He snorted, sighing again.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” You said softly, admiring how even with a mask on, he still looked adorable. He answered with a nod. “Tell the guys I said hi.” You both snorted. You hadn’t gotten a chance to meet anybody but the members in SuperM, but you hoped your friendship would hold.

“I’ll see you later.” Mark nodded again, stepping forward and hugging you close, warm and inviting as if leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, Mark.” Your voice spoke up before you could stop it. You’d been thinking about Mark’s confession all day and came to the realization quickly, but it was hard to register you were going to say it. The words hadn’t really come out so quickly with anyone ever. “I love you.” You announced quietly, ignoring the heat of your face. Mark sighed, but this time it sounded much more relieved. You did love Mark. You suddenly wanted to shout it from the rooftops. It had been stuck in your throat for longer than you wanted it to, and Mark felt like fresh air and it was all so new, but you just had to find the words and the right time. That was it. It felt so early, but not early enough all the same.

“I love you too.” He whispered before walking backwards into the line of checking himself in. You watched him glance at your lips as he walked and you so badly wanted to run forward to kiss him, but the situation made it impossible. You’d hold out. “I’ll see you soon! Promise!” He shouted half-heartedly, finally separating from you and going through the doors for security. You couldn’t wait to see him again.

-

Taeyong could stop the heartbreak, he knew he could, but he didn’t know if he had the heart to crush Mark like that. He knew how much Mark liked being truthful, up front, and honest, but Taeyong could see and got told often how much fun he had with you and how much he liked you, so he didn’t know how to either bring it up or stop Baekhyun from doing it. Taeyong was going to do it when Mark got back; he made up his mind to get to him before Baekhyun did, he thought he could bring the blow easier than someone with such pent up anger about the situation. Mark would be farther away from you and maybe take it better and Taeyong could help calm him down, so that was his plan.

But Taeyong was a bit too late. He thought Mark would get picked up by their drivers and go immediately to the shared dorm, not get picked up by Baekhyun himself. Taeyong was too busy with his own schedules to even think of that possibility.

It was a long flight, Mark had been too preoccupied and giggly to get any rest, excited for how his future was going, especially leaving the two of you on such a good note. He was feeling amazing, almost too good to be true, but he would try his best not to jinx it. He took the liberty of making a playlist to remind him of good times with you and the songs that made him feel excited throughout the last few weeks. He felt cheesy for it, but it would entertain him and keep his mind busy.

The flight felt like it was going by fast, watching movies and letting his mind drift off to his fun time spent. He finally felt like he’d had a vacation, a real one without cameras or the people he was always with. He felt relaxed and excited for how he’d be spending his next few weeks. He knew he had the parade with 127 in New York, but even just the thought of being close and on similar time zones again was keeping him so excited. The fact that he had another show with SuperM in February to come made it even more bearable because he knew he’d be close to you and he was already planning all his visits in advance.

Mark felt good and in control for the first time since he debuted. It was a relatively foreign feeling, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. Mark was pretty stoked, to say the least. He sighed happily as he watched his movies and had a few drinks with nobody bothering him on the plane. It was safe to say he thought it couldn’t get any better. He was absolutely sad to leave you, but he knew it wouldn’t be long before he saw you again.

Mark kept checking his phone, going through the pictures you’d taken together and grinning at the stupid selfies and off-guard pictures he’d gotten of you. They were going to be what kept him grounded, he knew it. He sighed happily, trying to at least get a nap in toward the last quarter of the flight, knowing it would be nearing midnight in the states and Baekhyun was famous for taking people’s time and rewarding them with lunch. He didn’t know how much sleep he would get in, but the jet lag would probably make it worse.

When Mark woke up, he was a little more than surprised to see the how bright the light was, signaling that he would be landing soon, and he’d be back at home. He was well rested, but something in his gut didn’t feel right. He hadn’t talked to you through the whole duration of his flight, unfortunately the Wi-Fi wasn’t working, and it was finally starting to settle inside of him how much he missed you, even if he’d just spent days with you and he’d see you again soon. As soon as he stepped off the plane he would be back to work and it hit him that his fantasy world was over so quickly. He frowned a bit, sighing and staring out of the window until he landed, his earphones playing the playlist as he tried to relax. He always forgot how much he hated sleeping on a plane ride, waking up made him feel restless and anxious.

Deboarding made Mark feel a little more easy, grabbing his bags and sighing as he walked out. He figured he was just sad to go back to work, sad to be stressed out again, and sad to be back on an intense schedule, but he knew with time he would get over it; get back into his routine and feel good about it all again. He made his way out of the plane, walking through the airport he knew so well to grab his bags and get back home. Maybe being home and cozy in his bed would make him feel better. Or he’d pout for a few days while on his schedules. Either was possible.

He walked outside after grabbing his bags, a yawn pulling from his mouth when he saw the cloudy skies and tried to make his way out of the airport. Jet lag was going to be a pain in the ass after being in the states for so long. What kind of car did Baekhyun drive again? He thought, sighing heavily when he heard a horn beep from a car he recognized as his senior’s, hoping nobody would approach or stop him. Mark didn’t want to be bothered at that moment, especially by fans.

Mark heard one loud “Lee Mark!” that pulled his attention, only one fan that waved at him and quickly scattered away. He shot them a soft smile and wave, thankful that it wasn’t going to be an issue. He didn’t know if he could handle an issue. Baekhyun got out of the vehicle, quieter than Mark had ever heard him, and he helped Mark put his bags in the trunk, giving him a silent and small ‘welcome home’ to be more welcoming, but as soon as he realized that Baekhyun was too quiet, he knew something was up. Baekhyun was nowhere near a quiet person, usually excited and bubbly and talking about anything and everything when he saw anyone. Mark was in trouble. He didn’t know what for, but the way Baekhyun’s face stiffly smiled at him, something was definitely wrong. He had a feeling he should be quiet, but the silence was deafening as his elder slipped into the vehicle.

“Um, hey-hey hyung.” Mark shot him a soft smile when he got in, trying to ease the weight of whatever was going to happen. He knew it was something bad, his gut nagging at him.

“How was your trip?” Baekhyun’s voice was harsh behind the words, making Mark gulp. He didn’t know if he should answer truthfully or not, because neither seemed like the right way, but he wanted to remain truthful. He wasn’t aware of Baekhyun’s feelings toward you, but he knew ignoring his work responsibilities for a relationship he wasn’t allowed to be in wasn’t his smartest move with his leader and responsibilities.

“It was actually, um, really nice, yeah. I had a good time. I relaxed.” He said honestly, dancing around the subject. Mark tried to smile again, looking forward and trying to ignore the heavy beating in his chest.

“Well, I-“ Baekhyun cleared his throat, almost an annoyance in his scoff. “I’m glad you had a good time, but you could’ve been a little more responsible.” Mark gulped again, hearing the obvious bite in Baekhyun’s tone. Mark felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he knew it would be better to ignore it for the time being. Whatever it was could wait, he was technically dealing with business. Baekhyun sighed and Mark could tell he was trying to calm himself down. “Why don’t we-why don’t I take you to lunch?” He asked the younger boy. “My treat.”

“That-um, sounds like you’ve got something scary to tell me.” Mark laughed nervously, scratching the hair on the back of his neck in hopes that he was wrong. He wasn’t.

“Yeah, well.” Baekhyun scoffed again, shrugging and Mark knew he was about to be crushed. He was hoping to be grilled about being responsible, he hoped that he’d just get chewed out; he could handle that. He knew he’d been loosely handling his schedules and been a bit sloppy, so he was okay with getting a good talking-to. His stomach hurt, nerves building in his abdomen and the last thing he wanted to hear was that he had to break it off with you; he wasn’t sure he could handle that. You’d been the source of his happiness and an escape for weeks now and he didn’t want to lose it.

Baekhyun had brought Mark to one of his favorite restaurants, trying to ease the blow of what he had to say a little. Mark hated to be let down and every time he thought about the possible bad news he’d be getting, his heart would start racing a million miles a minute and his tension had Baekhyun resisting. He went against his better judgement because he knew he would get angry, but he switched to a subject he knew would perk the boy up. You.

Baekhyun listened half-heartedly hearing him talk about you because he pushed to know what actually went down while Mark was ignoring him in America. He wanted to be told the truth and it came gushing from Mark’s mouth. Baekhyun had no interest in you at all, in fact he was actually pretty pissed that Mark did have such a good time and it upset him to have to rain on his parade because of something you could have controlled. Mark had clearly attempted to forget about the conversation they were supposed to be having, trying to focus in on the food and being optimistic when Baekhyun actually asked about you through gritted teeth. He ignored the undertone in his voice and spoke excitedly at the mention of you.

Mark was focused on the hole in their conversation for a few moments finishing his main course when he heard Baekhyun go quiet. The two of them sitting in an awkward quietness was eating Mark up and when his senior was tapping his fingers on the table, he knew it was time to speak up. “So-“ Mark cleared his throat. “What-what were you gonna, um, talk to me about?”

Baekhyun sighed heavily, he’d prolonged the conversation and heard Mark drone on about you for long enough. It was time. “Your friend.” Mark choked a little. He knew the subject would be about that, but the way Baekhyun brought it up felt weird. He was just talking about you and Baekhyun was the one who asked about you in the first place. What had changed so quickly that Baekhyun was suddenly changing his bad news to being about you.

“Wh-what’s it about?” Mark tried to ignore the pounding in his chest.

“I really don’t think you should see each other anymore.” The ball dropped. Baekhyun deadpanned, lips pursed in slight annoyance at the statement that had to come out of his mouth, holding back what he really needed to say. “It’s not what you think is going on, and I’d really like to save you from the seriousness of dating as an idol. It isn’t pretty.” He continued. “Things get dangerous, people aren’t nice. You can’t risk things like this for people. I mean for god sakes we have a dating ban for a reason.” Baekhyun scoffed. Mark had debuted four times; he was well aware of how dating and stuff like that went in the contract and maybe he had been a little careless in telling so many people, so he vaguely thought that’s what Baekhyun was talking about.

“I-I know, but,”

“I’m not finished, there’s more to this than you think.” Baekhyun didn’t know why he couldn’t find the words. Maybe he just really didn’t want to let the boy down. He sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. “People-“ He sighed. “People just aren’t what you think they are, okay?”

Mark’s eyes narrowed. He could tell Baekhyun was avoiding what he wanted to say. “What is this..actually about, hyung?” Mark swallowed, knowing exactly where the conversation could lead. Baekhyun was fishing into his pocket, grumbling quietly under his breath and tugging something out before tossing it on the table. Mark was even more confused now. Sitting in front of him was a broken NCT keychain and a photocard of Baekhyun’s face. The very ones he had taken from your suitcase and wallet. Maybe it was an extreme violation of your privacy that Baekhyun suddenly felt very aware of, but he had to have something to back himself up. “I don’t understand, what is this stuff?” Mark said seriously, raising a brow and eyeballing the items.

“I found this in your friend’s belongings.” Baekhyun shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He was being cryptic, and Mark didn’t like it.

“Stop saying it’s my friend, we’re dating.” He spat, the first time he’d gotten stern with anyone. Mark was continually more and more lost.

“Your friend,” Baekhyun repeated firmly. “This keychain was in the suitcase in the room you two were staying in when you graciously had someone follow us on tour when that’s strictly forbidden. It was broken off to obviously hide something. The photocards however were in the wallet from the desk, along with a Lucas one, so it seems highly unlikely that it was just coincidence. It’s from the Exodus album, so it can’t really be played off as a SuperM album card they just so happened to pick up for fun just by chance, it was pre-planned. I’m not stupid; I can put two and two together.” Baekhyun was generally a good guesser, speaking entirely too formerly and rehearsed to a T, and unfortunately he was correct. You had broken the keychain off and you weren’t proud of it, but that keychain was way past your mind the second it was off of your wallet and you hadn’t even noticed the missing photocard at all. “And dating?” Baekhyun scoffed. “You’ve known each other for like two months, give me a break.” He words felt harsh and Mark gulped. He couldn’t believe that Baekhyun would have gone through your things. It didn’t seem like his type.

“You…went through a suitcase that wasn’t yours?” He scoffed. “Were you, like, trying to find something?” Mark was irritated and there was no hiding it.

“I was, actually.” Baekhyun stated firmly, not caring what Mark had to say about it. He’d found his footing and was ready to throw it all on the table. “Something seemed fishy and I shouldn’t have done it, but it led me here.” The older shrugged. “You know what else was in that suitcase?” He asked, tapping his fingers on the table.

“What?” Mark asked angrily, rolling his eyes and he couldn’t believe someone he trusted so much was basically spitting in his face.

“Literally every one of our lightsticks.” Baekhyun squinted a little, not really liking the attitude Mark was giving him. “There was one for everybody and the only one I ever saw outside of it was the SuperM one. It’s not a good sign, man. You’ve been getting lied to and you got trapped into dating a fan, without even knowing. It’s happened to so many of us, dude and it’s devastating, like-“

“I-I-I-“ Mark sighed. “I honestly, like, don’t really believe you.” It was the first time Mark ever talked back to his senior, earning a soft laugh from him.

“I know you don’t, I’m not dumb.” Baekhyun shrugged, thanking the waiter when he’d dropped off the dessert and check. “But if you trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I looked into your friend’s Instagram and found some posts, stuff saying about how much you’re loved and all three of them, the ones that that threw the first party you went to, all bias you and Lucas. They got deleted but I have screenshots.” Baekhyun moved to pull his phone out but Mark quickly stopped him. Mark could swear he felt his own heart break.

“Don’t-don’t show me.” Mark shook his head, looking down at the table. Maybe Baekhyun was right. Mark couldn’t believe it; he didn’t want to. He was just stunned to hear that you’d been lying to him for months. He hated being lied to, everyone knew that, and he wanted to have just a simple relationship and when he thought he finally had it, the idea was slipping through his fingers. He didn’t want to be in the situation at all, he didn’t want to disappoint Baekhyun, he just wanted a little happiness and suddenly, he was very aware of how much trouble he had caused. He was scared, angry, confused. He didn’t know what to do.

“I have them if it eases your mind. It’s your choice.” Baekhyun shrugged, taking a sip from his drink and sighing. He wanted to let Mark process, maybe he’d feel better. “If it makes you feel any better, Taeyong knows and he think’s everything’s peachy, so.” Baekhyun shrugged, sighing.

“Wait, wait wait.” Mark scoffed. “Taeyong knew? And he didn’t tell me?”

“He didn’t want to hurt you, he liked how happy you were.” Baekhyun said honestly. “I didn’t really want to tell you either, but aren’t you glad you know?” Mark tried hard not to be appalled at the question.

“I-um,” He sighed. “I wish I could say yes, but, like, a part of me feels like I wish I didn’t.” Mark spoke honestly before he groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I’ve literally always been told I’m so naive and this really tops the cake.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Baekhyun asked, trying to push the solution on. Mark didn’t like figuring things out like this, but Baekhyun was ridiculously stubborn and he was going to want an answer before they left the table even if it was hard on him.

Mark was beyond answering that question, sitting in silence and ignoring the dessert on the table. He’d wanted it so badly before, but now his stomach was deceiving him. “I, like,” He sighed again. “I really don’t know.” In his head, the situation could have so easily been solved had you been honest with him, but he was there across the world, without you to talk to about it and you had to absolutely have been sleeping. He knew you had to go to work after he left and he hoped you’d had a decent shift, but he couldn’t lie and say he wanted to talk to you about it. He didn’t. He was the master of avoiding those kinds of situations, but he just needed some time to think. “I kinda think I should talk to Taeyong.”

Baekhyun nodded, shoving the plate of dessert toward Mark.

“No, thanks.” Mark shook his head, sighing and unlocking his phone to see that you’d texted him a few times. He didn’t have the heart to look right then, his head was much too fuzzy and he didn’t want to be mad at you so soon, but it felt like his whole world was crashing down in front of him even if it was all so new. He should’ve taken the time to realize that such an issue so soon should have been the end of it all, but he felt so wrong. He felt disgusted with himself. What would everyone else think? He’d put his friends in danger by introducing you in the first place. The room was spinning slightly and he didn’t know what to do.  

“Let’s get you home.” Mark could only nod, following Baekhyun out after he signed the receipt.

The ride home was way too quiet, Baekhyun only turning up the radio to break the silence. Mark stared out the window and felt like a child having a tantrum, but he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Mark shot Baekhyun a quick “thanks” when he pulled up to the dorms, letting him out and Baekhyun went home himself, hoping to at least hear from Mark soon about how he felt. He didn’t expect much, he did just crush the guy. Only time could tell what would happen.

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

[uncomfortable-writers]

Lovebirds (Pietro x Reader)

(Gif credit to owner)

Fandom: Marvel

Character: Pietro Maximoff

Persona: Female

Word Count: 2,077

Request: i love love love your blog and was thinking if you could write a fanfic with pietro maximoff where reader and him are best friends (secretly in love with each other) and tony (who is reader's legal guardian bc she moved away from home to be avenger's computer engineer & has been training with them) teams up with others in teasing you two to finally fess up & team calls them smth like "slavic lovebirds" since reader is also from some slavic/balkan country? and talks a lot in her native language? 

A/N - <3

♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　

Begrudgingly, you stalked your way towards Tony’s lab. The cup of coffee in your hand growing colder by the second mirrored the ever souring expression on your face. You were not a morning person, not in the slightest. Raising your ID pass to the scanner the door opened with a click, “Good morning (Y/N)”, FRIDAY greeted cheerily, you grunted in response.

“Ah! (Y/N), just the person I need!”, Tony’s voice hollered loudly, he turned to face you and a lopsided grin formed on his face, “Someone got out of the wrong side of bed today”. Your frown deeped, “Заткнись“ (Shut up), with a sharp retort you took a swig of the lukewarm beverage. Tony stopped his tinkering momentarily to raise a bushy eyebrow at you, “Come again?”, he asked, spanner pointing accusingly at you. You couldn’t help but to smile at your mentor, “I said, what can I help you with?”. Half a smile pulled at his lips, “Huh..right. Can you take a look at this please?”.

You were quietly helping Tony, listening to his instructions carefully and following them still stuck in your bad mood although it wasn’t all doom and gloom. 

It was fast approaching your first year of studying under the Iron Man himself. Being handpicked for an internship at Stark Industries was a dream come true for you but the end of the world for your family. Your mother and father continuously refused the applications sent through the post even going as far as to change the P.O box; it seemed nothing could sway their minds to allow their precious, (and only), daughter to leave the nest. That was until Tony Stark showed up on your doorstep. Your parents were unable to resist his charming ways, he had an answer to every question they’d asked. They had one last thing to ask. Tony had to become your legal guardian in order for you to move into the Avengers Compound and Tony agreed in a heartbeat, already feeling proud from the potential you’d shown in the tests leading up to the internship. Afterall there was no safer place in the galaxy than with the world’s only team of superheroes.

“Earth to (Y/N)”, Tony clicked his fingers in front of your face, “Something the matter kiddo?”.  The recollection of events was disrupted, you answered with a sharp hum,  “Just tired”. Your fingers tapped flawlessly away at the laptop placed on the workbench as you carefully documented Tony’s work. His brown eyes glanced up at you as he toyed with the machinery, “Are you sleeping okay?”, a brief expression of worry on his face, “Do you think you need to see a doctor? I can get Bruce to come give you a checkup?”. You half smiled at the Avenger, “Just tired”, you emphasised before working away in silence. Tony nodded in sympathy, knowing all too well the feeling.

The lesson passed with few comments from both parties as Tony opted to let you work in peace.

Suddenly the door opened to reveal no one. The papers scattered around the lab rustled as a precise wind flew past the desks, coming to a stop at your side. “Hey (Y/N)”, the accented voice drifted through the workspace, it belonged to the silver-haired Sokovian who you’d grown so fondly of these past months. In an instant your mood picked up.

“Hey Pietro!”, a wide, toothy grin settled on your face as you stopped your work to look up at the taller man, he was already smiling down at you, “How are you?”, Quicksilver asked politely. “I’m pretty good actually, how’re you?”. Pietro opened his mouth but he never got the words out to finish his sentence. A smirk pulled at the corner of Tony’s lips which he tried hard to bite back, “Well someone’s perked up, thought you were tired?”, his eyes darted between the two of you as he stopped his work to watch the scene unfold. A ghost of a blush painted the apples of your cheeks, smiling sheepishly at your mentor you replied, “Yeah I was but that was hours ago”.

Sassily, Tony placed his hands on his hips, “It was literally ten minutes ago (Y/N)”, he didn’t give you a chance to respond as his attention was then directed to Pietro, “And you. Why’re you interrupting our lesson?”. Now it was Pietro’s turn to be coy, “I came to bring (Y/N) a cup of coffee”. Tony looked at Pietro then to his hands and then to the desk, “I don’t see one”. 

You wouldn’t of been able to tell that Pietro had dashed off had it not been for the slight movement of your hair, the rustle of papers and the fact that he now had in his hands your favourite mug, “Sorry I forgot it”. You beamed up at Pietro, eagerly you took the warm cup, “Thank you”. “Any time”, he grinned back. It was almost like Tony wasn’t there for you were both staring into each other’s eyes and smiling like crazy. “Alright alright”, Tony stated tapping his fingers against the workbench, “Stop flirting. You brought (Y/N) her coffee now dash off, we’ve got a lesson to continue”. 

In a flash both your face and Pietro’s turned such a shade of red that it matched the colour of Tony’s Iron Man suit. “Yeah, yeah Stark”, Pietro rolled his eyes coolly as he tried to play off his embarrassment. Meanwhile you reluctantly returned to your laptop to hide your fluster. Slowly, but surely, Pietro made his way towards the exit, all without using his powers, “So, catch ya later for movie night?”, Pietro called, hope evident on his face. You nodded eagerly, “See ya at seven!”.

Pietro left the room and it fell into silence again until Tony couldn’t resist making a quip, “Ah so that’s why you’re so tired”.

//////////\\\\\\\\\\\

You were humming in the kitchen, wiggling your hips to the tune in your head. Your mood really improved once Pietro reminded you of movie night. It was like a shared ritual which happened whenever Pietro had free time, it wasn’t easy being an Avenger. Gathering snacks was an equally important part of said ritual almost as important as the film you were watching, (Pietro mostly let you stick on whatever you wanted without much protest, mostly).

Being so caught up in your happy state you didn’t hear Pietro enter the kitchen; one of his many advantages of being able to move so fast.

He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his broad chest, his lips upturned in a smile as he watched you swaying about the kitchen. You were reaching up at the top shelf on the cupboard knowing it was where the silver-haired man kept his favourite snacks, but as he was at least a foot taller than you, it was impossible to get them without parkouring onto the side. Just as you were about to climb onto the counter he decided it was time to make an appearance. 

“эй принцесса”,(Hey Princess) Pietro suddenly appeared next to you, looking just as dapper as ever, “нужна помощь?”, (Need a hand?). You rolled your eyes up at him frivolously, “Мне бы не понадобилась помощь, если бы кто-то не решил прятать вещи на верхней полкеь”, (I wouldn’t need help if someone hadn’t decided to of hide stuff on the top shelf). Pietro chuckled at your remark, “Last time I left things where people could reach Clint ate my entire emergency stash”, he recalled the memory with a faint frown on his face which soon ebbed away when his blue eyes focused on you again, “So do you want help or not?”. You couldn’t resist the cheeky grin which graced Pietro’s face, “I’m not grow anytime soon”, you smirked with a shrug of your shoulders. Quicksilver’s hands were played on your hips in less than a second, it was like they were perfectly sculpted to your figure. The warmth they gave off was delicious, you tried to ignore the feeling as he lifted you. You made quick work of gathering the snacks. They clanged loudly as they hit the side. Pietro lowered you to the floor where he kept one hand firmly on your hip, you didn’t mind as you leaned into his chest. It was like second nature.

Natasha observed the scene, a warm smile on her face. 

“Don’t mind me interrupting”, she said softly, her steps even lighter as she crossed the doorway into the kitchen. You jumped away from Pietro like he had burnt you, “Дерьмо! Вы почти дали мне сердечный приступ“, (Shit! You almost gave me a heart attack), you clutched dramatically at your chest, trying to ignore the heat on your cheeks. “Будь немного громче в следующий раз“, (Be a little louder next time), Pietro chided wanting nothing more than to pull you back into his chest. Natasha grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, her teasing expression never fading, “Sorry for interrupting”. You quickly stuttered a reply, “T-There was n-nothing to interrupt”. 

As she was leaving the room, she paused to look back at you two, “Не волнуйся, я не скажу Тони”, (Don’t worry, I won’t tell Tony). As soon as the words left her mouth, she was off.

Breathing in through his nose Pietro quickly recovered the mood, “Well grab the snacks and lets get going love”.

A few moments later and you were on the couch in front of the giant, flat screen T.V.. You’d just shoved in Cinderella. Pietro patted the empty space next to him as he held up the large fluffy blanket, he tilted his head as he waited expectantly. You waddled over and jumped into the space, practically leaching into his side as the movie started to play. His hand traced patterns into your thigh as you placed your head on his chest, “Удобная принцесса?”, (Comfortable Princess?). “Конечно”, (Of course). Happy with your answer, he rested his head on top of yours.

You and Quicksilver were too engrossed in each other’s company, the movie to realise that you had company.

“They’re cute aren’t they”, Tony watched fondly content that his adoptive daughter was happy. Natasha gave him the side eye, “They really are, but isn’t it a little weird to be spying on them?”. Tony smirked at her, “Not spying, just passing by”.

Pietro was finally building up the nerve to confess something, he hadn’t been focusing on the film just on the fact that in this moment everything felt right. He coughed awkwardly to grab you attention, “Hmm?”, you pushed off of his chest so you were face to face with him. “I’ve just been thinking y’know”, Pietro seemed to look everywhere but at you. “You? Thinking? That’s dangerous”, you teased, unable to keep the giggle spilling from your lips as his face screwed up. “I like you (Y/N)”, his voice was a mere whisper. You’re heart sped up but you tried to dismiss it as Pietro just showing his affection, “I like you too”. He sighed and moved his hand from your thigh to cover your own, “Нет, я имею в виду, ты мне нравишься больше, чем друг”, (No I mean I like you more than a friend). Your eyebrows raised to your hairline. Never in a million years did you imagine Pietro would like you in the same way too, “ты мне тоже нравишься”, (I like you too).

“What do you think they’re talking about?”, Tony quietly asked Nat. Now it was her turn to smirk at the billionaire, “You don’t wanna know”. This caught Tony’s attention, “Um excuse me what do you mean?”. Natasha just nodded at the couch, where Pietro was leaning in, both of your lips puckered. 

“There will be absolutely no making out sessions on my favourite couch”, Tony whined suddenly making his presence known. For the second time today you jumped apart, “Aww come on Tony, did you have to ruin the moment?”, you moaned burying your face into Pietro’s chest. “What else was I supposed to do? Let you go full on washing machine mode while you’re sat in my favourite spot? I don’t think so”, Tony goaded, “FRIDAY’s gonna keep an eye out, she catches anymore funny business and its bedtime for the both of you”. Natasha entered the room before you or Pietro could respond, she wrapped a tiny hand around Tony’s arm and started to pull him away from the door, “C’mon Tony leave the Slavic lovebirds alone”.

[7-wonders]

The Isle of Flightless Birds

Summary: You’re free, but with a few restrictions. This doesn’t settle well, so you decide to see how far you can test said restrictions.

Word Count: 1516

A/N: It me, updating at 2 am bc I have no sense of self-control. This is the third part in my ‘Mad Love’ series, which I’ll have linked down below! Thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated and requests are always open!

Read Mad Love (part one) HERE | Read Totally F***ed (part two) HERE

Sleep is not something that finds you throughout the night. In fact, even if you had gotten tired, you would have fought it off with everything you have in you. Instead, you sit huddled up on the bed, knees tucked against your chest as you watch the door intensely. You’re not sure what time it is or how much time has passed, the lack of a clock and any windows complicating your current predicament. Eventually, the door opens, and you glare at the blond devil who walks into the room.

“Good morning, sunshine.” He greets, a cheerful smirk on his face. He tosses a bundle of clothes towards you, which you realize are the clothes you were wearing the night you were kidnapped. “Get dressed, your car’s parked outside.”

You slide off of the bed, refusing to look away from Michael. Your eyes burn from how little you’ve blinked in the past few hours, and you’re sure the purple rings under your eyes are even more pronounced than usual.

“Can you at least turn around, please?” You owe him no polite requests, but it’s habit that makes you throw in a ‘please’ at the end of your question. He raises an eyebrow towards you but obliges, turning around so that his back faces towards you.

You change as quick as you possibly can, keeping your eyes on the back of his head the whole time. If there was a knife in here, it’d be so easy to catch him off guard, stab him, and make a clean getaway in your car while the Antichrist himself bleeds out on the floor.

“I heard that, y’know. Clever, but you’d never be able to sneak up on me like that.”

“As your wife, can I maybe give you a suggestion?” You quip, buttoning up your jeans. “You can turn around again.”

“Of course you can.” His voice drips with a saccharine tone as his blue eyes sparkle with mischief.

“How about you not read my fucking thoughts? It’s rude and invasive.”

“No promises, but I’ll try my hardest to not read your thoughts.” It’s half-assed and you know he won’t follow through, but at least he’s trying to compromise.

Tying the laces on your shoes, you stand up and look at Michael, who’s examining you closely. You huff and cross your arms self-consciously, staring him down.

“What now?”

“We’ll have to get you a new wardrobe for your time spent with me. No offense, but your current outfit is...lazy.” He points out, looking at your hoodie, black jeans, and sneakers with disdain.

“Give me a warning next time you’re going to kidnap me and I’ll put a little more effort into my appearance.” You say sarcastically, rolling your eyes at his gall.

“We need to work on your attitude as well.” He fires back.

“Can I go now?”

He sighs deeply, extending an arm towards the open door. You pass him, shooting a backwards glance to make sure he doesn’t try anything. The hallways look a lot different when you’re not disoriented and being carried by a bunch of Satanists. Michael walks alongside you, his hands behind his back as he attempts to make idle chatter, which you ignore.

You nearly cry when you see sunlight streaming through the open doors in front of you. You’ve been a hostage for maybe 36 hours, but it honestly feels like you’ve been trapped for months. Just as Michael promised, your car sits right outside, keys in the ignition and ready to go. Before you can run for it, Michael grabs your wrist.

“Remember our little agreement.” He warns you. “If you slip up, I will know, and there will be consequences.” Your mouth goes dry and your heart quickens when he kisses the corner of your mouth, reminding you of the same kiss he gave you at the conclusion of your ‘wedding.’

“I won’t.”

“See you next weekend. I’ll send you instructions at a later time.” He releases his grip on your wrist, and you hightail it around to the driver’s side of your car. Michael waves at you as you prepare to go, and you flip him off before driving away.

The first couple of days after you get back home, you try to convince yourself that it was all a horrible nightmare. Especially after waking up in your own bed, you fully believed that you had vividly imagined what happened. Until you rubbed your eyes and noticed the silver ring with the blood-red diamond on your ring finger, you were all too ready to move on with your life and forget that this ever happened.

The stupid ring won’t budge, no matter how hard you try to remove it from your finger. Yanking as hard as you can just resorted in a weird popping noise that you’re pretty sure meant you almost dislocated the bone, butter only made your finger oily, and floss was rubbed back and forth so hard that it wore down and snapped. You’re insanely frustrated, and you’ve already faced numerous questions about if you eloped with a mystery man over the weekend (‘nope, just got a new ring but didn’t realize that I put it on this finger,’ you joked).

On Thursday, you receive a text from an unknown number that you soon learn is Michael. You’re not sure how he got your number, but honestly that’s the least of your concerns right now. In addition to telling you where you’ll be spending the weekend with him and what to bring, he also outlines everything you’ve done this week, and everything your family’s done. You had been extremely careful all week, being hypervigilant everywhere you went and making sure to avoid anybody that you didn’t know. After reading Michael’s text, you quickly covered all the cameras on your various devices.

A friend of yours who’s a tech whiz had given you a couple of new software programs that scramble your IP address and make your browsing history completely private, an inquiry that you had managed to pass off as simply being ‘scared of the government.’ After successfully installing it on your laptop, you start to conduct some research.

You start your search off on Google, different tabs open for ‘Satanists,’ ‘Antichrist,’ and ‘forced marriage.’ When those turn up nothing but biblical references and news articles about child brides in third world countries, you expand to ‘is a marriage legal without a marriage license,’ ‘Illuminati,’ and ‘contacting police when there’s a good chance your stalker will find out about it.’

Three hours of intense searching has turned up absolutely nothing, so you’ve decided to drown your sorrows in a bag of popcorn and some Netflix. You’re halfway through an episode of The Office, your go-to feel-good show, when your phone rings. The caller ID says ‘Unknown,’ but you know who it is by now.

“Hello?” You greet, pausing your screen but refusing to let up on the popcorn.

“Hello my darling, how’s your evening been?” You roll your eyes at the pet name, but you have to play along or else he’ll get pissed.

“Fine, Michael, and you?”

“It’s been pleasant, although better now that I get to hear your lovely voice.”

“What do you want?”

“You sure do love cutting right to the point. Eager to get back to whatever you were doing?”

“Well yeah, I kind of need to finish this homework.”

“Really? Because I thought you were watching The Office.” Your blood runs cold and the phone falls from your hand, but you can still hear him loud and clear. “‘The Dundies,’ (Y/N), really? There’s so many better episodes to watch.”

“How did you-”

“Did you really think that your feeble attempts at hiding your computer history would work? I have some of the top software developers in the world at my disposal, it was only a matter of seconds before they were able to break through whatever your friend had installed on your laptop. Nice try, though.” You snatch the phone back up, switching it to speaker.

“Michael, it was just research, I wasn’t going to tell anyone about-”

“Cut the shit.” He interrupts you again. “You seem to think that you can outsmart me. I’m sorry Nancy Drew, but there’s no escaping this. You are my wife, and you will remain my wife.”

“Please don’t hurt my family, I didn't break the rules!” You gasp, heart physically aching at the thought of possibly endangering your loved ones.

“You’re right, you didn’t break the rules. Therefore, no one gets hurt.” You cry out in relief, tears streaming down your face. “I assume this is a good enough warning for you? Don’t try to go behind my back (Y/N). I will find out.”

“I hate you.” You spit.

“That’ll change. I’m excited to see you tomorrow, my darling.” He hangs up before you get a chance to retort. You slam your laptop shut, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of getting to see you break down at your situation, which is looking more and more hopeless by the hour.

Tag List: @sammythankyou @let-me-try-mom @ultragibbycentralworld @sebastianshoe @nana15774 @queencocoakimmie @lichellaw @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @alexcornerblog @everything-is-awesomesauce @ccodyfern @jimmlangdon @dolceandchalamet @omgsuperstarg @queenie435 @dextergirl12345 @americanhorrorstudies @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @coloursunlimited

[kim-lexie]

november favorites.

music.

‘you calling my name’ by got7. this track! the choreography. literally. got7 didn't hold back. jaebum is coming for me with his oh so sweet vocals.

‘love talk’ (english version) by wayV. DANG I FEEL ATTACKED. this music video just came for me and my existence. i love wayV i stan so freaking hard. xiaojun my man, he killed it. 

‘my beauty’ by verivery. extraordinary soundtrack once again slayed my existence. literally on repeat all day everyday after hearing it.

‘queen’ by history. this came up in one of those underrated kpop song videos on youtube and dang it is a bop. i love it. it’s a great one to get hype to. if only they were still a group i would stan. 

‘martini blue’ by DPR live. this has lived on my playlist for awhile but it came back on shuffle and i fell in love once again.

surprisingly this month was full of queens, which isn't like me and my biased heart that falls easy for new boys. i may have turned a new leaf in life, so here are all the queens that occupied my playlist this month!

‘hip’ by mamamoo. these freaking queens always come for me. this comeback was no different. 

‘blueming’ by iu. my girl always delivers. cue me shouting ‘i feel BLUE’ while driving on the highway.

‘flower shower’ by hyuna. finally our girl came out under a new label who i hope will show her the love she deserves, and allow her to love who she wants. seriously a bop, and the dance is so great. 

drama & movies *spoiler alert*.

tale of nok-du. i was super excited for this one, it reminded me of a ‘moonlight drawn by clouds’ except our main lead is nok-du, the man. i loved this one it was funny, light-hearted, and it offered deep moments that grew our characters. i loved nok-du’s character and everything he learned about himself by creating a different persona; and growing different sides of himself. *once again not condoning deception* nevertheless he was successful in finding out his identity and ended up trying to protect the village.  freaking loved the bad-butt ladies that protected the widow’s village! like insert slow clap for these incredible women! also can i just say that yool-moo never sat well with me. like seriously he was always kind of off. i especially loved how each episode carried us through. you know how some dramas have a blah middle, well we were continually evolving and i loved it. dong-ju and nok-du’s relationship was precious; they overcame so much. i freaking loved the scene where he made her the flower ring *cue ugly tears* i just loved it, even though the ending was super cheesy and would never in a million years happen i am happy that dramaland works this way and all of our bows were tied. i loved yool-moo crashing in and being like boom you never thought about my birthday huh king?! it was great and nok-du’s mom was able to escape and join him and dong-ju on their little island of happiness. i would 9.5 out of 10 recommend.

flower crew: joseon marriage agency. THIS DRAMA. i love me a good historical drama and this one was everything all the attractive men. *inserts slow claps* i loved how everything developed and how lee soo became the king, all the crazy things that happen with the king and his instatement. i love how they resolved and unfortunately everything got twisted as a drama requires. i freaking love how ma hoon and gae ddong fell in love naturally. she never loved lee soo romantically and i love how she discovered more about herself and all her different sides, to even be up in running to be the queen as a noble lady. i love that ma hoon starting falling for her as her original self. i appreciate that we followed all the storylines to the finish, and nothing was dropped off and how they finally filled in the lines for young-soo’s character towards the ending. i loved the ending in how they were all able to live happily ever after. i would recommend this 9 out of 10. 

put your head on my shoulder. thank you netflix for coming through. i had seen this all over my instagram with the cutest little scenes and i am so glad i was able to binge watch it! it was so cute i loved si tu mo, her lovable naive character is a basic necessity in a c-drama. it was all about her finding herself and making decisions. and i loved gu wei yi, not just because he is attractive as heck, but the way he cared for si tu mo from the start. seriously even when they just ran into each other he started to do things he never would have! the fact how they ended up rooming together was ridiculous and i know no parent that would be okay with that situation but they were precious and i loved all the cute moments. i would recommend 8.5 out of 10. definitely an easy going one that doesn’t require much thought and i def had to be in the right mood to deal with all the cute silly moments. 

melting me softly. JI CHANG FREAKING WOK, came back with a bang, because dang this man. this was a perfect easy going ji-chang wok drama. seriously I’ve missed him desperately. and this was everything. the concept was interesting, but i absolutely loved how their friendship developed into something more. the middle was a little slow and it took a bit to get going at the beginning, but the last two epsodes were everything. i loved how he wrote her a diary each day she was in the chamber again. literally it was too much, how he waited for her. for a moment there i was like are they going to have her die, bc i would not be able to take such a travesty happening. overall it was great and hilarious with her friends. i recommend 9 out of 10.

how to hate you. nana’s web drama was not a disappointment. i don’t know why its taken me so long to get my life together, and watch this, but it was perfect, and i love how their friendship was unexpected, and how she ended up falling for him. it was cute and id recommend 7.5 out of 10, but 11 out of 10 bc my little nana is making actor moves out here killing the came. 

extra-ordinary you. this freaking drama. i 100 out of 10 recommend it to everyone and their mother. it was soooooo freaking good. it will have its own post because i have fallen head over heels for haru and this drama. it was great, did i say it was incredible everything i ever wanted and needed. needless to say you need to watch it wherever you watch your dramas. stop what you’re doing and watch it. 

[scullyeffect]

i love reading your posts about being a nanny, its something i like the idea of but i dont think id ever be able to do it

it definitely takes a certain type of person i think, but you can also learn with experience. i have friends who suddenly become very ~aware of themselves~ when talking with a kid. like making sarcastic jokes or something and it’s like um...be yourself?? nobody likes being talked to in a patronising tone, or spoken to like a well behaved dog. but seriously, just be yourself. they already think you’re cool af for not being mom lol. and most kids don’t judge. the amount of times i’ve been self conscious about my appearance at work? zero. the amount of times i’ve been scared my boss will catch me on my phone? zero. the amount of times i’ve plucked a wedgie with confidence? every day. i’d been babysitting kids for like 8 years (including one 5 y/o girl who got dropped off at my house at 8 every morning and was picked up at 6pm five days a week for the entire summer when i was 16...wow) before i became an au pair, but i know people who wing it and are completely fine.

i think the real key to it being a job you can enjoy or be “good” at is patience. because at the end of the day you’re not the parent. it’s not fully up to you to discipline the kids. you get to go home at the end of the day. sometimes you have to bring problems up with the parents to deal with because you’re unsure about their protocol (the kids i take care of aren’t allowed to watch tv or use electronics, so when i showed them a trailer for a movie 6 was like ooooh i’m gonna tell mom!! and i was like fuck). one time 6 peed during a 5 floor elevator ride and i had to reassure her that it was okay, then spend ten minutes wiping up the mess with paper towels hoping to hell no one would need the elevator. luckily that sent her right into the shower so there was no war. like i could have lost my temper and been like WHY DIDN”T YOU JUST HOLD IT. YOU CLEAN IT UP. because she had been holding it for like 30 minutes and she’s 6. i learned from this and whenever one of them says they need to go i’m like WHO WANTS A PASTRY REAL QUICK LET’S GO SPEND 5 EUROS TO PEE.

but at the same time you end up being a really important factor in a child’s life. sometimes they’ll ask you questions they feel like they can’t ask their parents: the 15 y/o teenager i lived with for two years came into my room in tears saying she couldn’t figure out how to use a tampon and she didn’t want to ask her mom, the 9 year old got “the talk” from her mom but admitted to me that she didn’t understand and could she ask me some questions. you’re the one (in my case), who’s making sure they’re clean and have eaten and brushed their teeth before the parents come home. you’re the one helping with homework (and it’s really amazing to be able to be the one teaching a kid how to read at home. i’ve gotten to do this twice and it’s so exciting when they start wanting to read some of their bedtime story instead of letting you do it). at the end of the day it’s a really humbling job.

but patience and understanding is really key, also confidence. sometimes babysitters are the good guy, and you can get away with anything because mom and dad are out for the night. i think that’s normal and fun. but when you’re with the kids every day you don’t get to just be the good guy, or they won’t learn anything. and that’s hard!! because again, you don’t have the full parental authority. 

the absolute ABSOLUTE most important thing, which can either be the easiest or most difficult, is getting a solid routine going. especially with younger kids, but it’s good for all ages. once you have the routine set up you’re good for life. obviously sometimes you’ve gotta roll with a doctor’s appointment, or in my case the occasional public transport strike (”who wants to walk a mile today ladies!!!”) it’s especially nice when the kids unconsciously pick up on it and will sometimes prompt you like “how much time do we have to play until bath time?”, or “today is wednesday, so we’re going to the park, but can we go to this one instead of that one?”. so like with the kids i take of now the afternoon routine (except wednesday, which is different) is:

4:30pm: pick up from school, snack while we’re taking the metro back (bc otherwise they get antsy, they haven’t eaten since 11:30)

5:00-5:30pm: homework

5:30-6:30pm: play/read

6:30-7:00pm: one of them takes a bath/shower while i make dinner, the other one sets the table and helps with dinner, or she can read/play

7:00-whenever dinner is finished (normally 7:45pm)

7:45-8ish: second one takes a bath/shower while the other helps clear the table, then she can read/play, after that they both brush their teeth

8:00-9:00 the older one reads while i read to the younger one, or they’ll both listen to me read

also keep in mind this is france where eating late is normal, bedtime is probably later than the US (when i think about putting kids to bed at 7:30 in the US i feel like it’s the afternoon)

idk if you remember, but in september when i started taking care of 6 and 9 i was absolutely miserable. their parents had separated literally weeks before i arrived so the emotional dynamic was chaotic as hell, both apartments were in boxes, they were sleeping over at their grandparents’ house most nights, and here was this new girl they were supposed to trust. i met the girls for about 10 minutes in june when i had an interview, but the next time i saw them was the first day i picked them up from school. they still stress me out way more than the girls i lived with for two years (who were older, but overall just more well behaved), but i love them a lot. for the first two months i seriously thought i’d quit. i was so stressed out every day and felt like i was getting no support from the parents when i brought up problems i was having with their kids. now i really love them and i think they dig me too. 

so i think if you want to do it maybe try to get more experience babysitting and trying to get a steady babysitting job! i remember i would babysit the same toddler pretty often and i always had a loose routine with her so that when i came over she knew what to expect and i didn’t feel so harried at age 17. if you’re looking to be an au pair though, especially in a foreign country, you’ve gotta be picky as hell. i learned that from experience. if you don’t think you can handle a baby but you want to live in paris, you’ve gotta put your job before the location. if you do better taking care of boys (i do way better with girls. they’re so awful to each other if they have a sister, but the chaotic physical energy boys seem to have does not agree with me. they’re like dogs i’m like “time to play frisbee i need to wear you out”) look for a family with boys unless you think you can adapt. if you’re fine with both, go for it. if you want to learn/improve a foreign language, try to find a family that’s cool with you speaking their native language. people looking for anglophone nannies often have a 100% english policy. when i plugged in all my search criteria in 2016 i think i found five families total who fit the specifications. and then in addition to that i skyped all of them so i could try and sense if a Vibe was there. 

i’m sorry this is so long but i don’t have any au pair friends who kind of like...were there for the job as well as the city...so i never got to gab childcare. ask me all the questions.

[psychicwonu-blog]

sleepover

 Anon Asked:  hi, could I request something fluffy with Twice’s Sana? under unusual circumstances she has to share a bed with her crush (fem or gender neutral) and then a confession? thank you, I’m such a sucker for stuff like this lol

Group: Twice

Member/Pairing: Sana x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, non-idol!AU, and a liiiil bit of angst, bc I couldn’t help it:((

Summary: Sana and Y/N catch up after months apart when they just happen to be at the same place, same time. 

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: ahhhhh I’m so glad my first request since coming back is for Twice!! I love them so much, and I’ve missed them. Thanks for sending this in, anon, I really hope you like it. I went with a fem reader bc it’s what I’m more used to, and I’m a lil rusty rn sooo. BUT! if any of y’all want male/enby/etc reader x Twice (or anyone) just ask and you shall receive!

Sana stood on her tippy toes, stretching her body as much as she could in an attempt to scan the small 7-Eleven for that familiar face. She weaved through some aisles, ducked past other shoppers, and silently jogged through the rest of the store to catch up. 

You were standing at the back, scanning over the many assortments of cheap alcohol. She was hesitant to approach you but ultimately decided to once you had a six-pack of the best beer a convenience store had to offer in hand. Sana let out a quick breath as you turned around. 

“Hi,” she waved. You were stunned, momentarily, as she flashed her toothy grin at you. 

“Hi.” you murmured, adjusting the right strap of your tattered backpack. She smiled at the floor, tucking some hair behind her ear. You watched her silently, unsure of what to do. 

“It’s been a while.” she giggled. Sana rocked lightly on her heels, holding a small bag of starbursts in her hands. You smiled back at her, nodding your head. Your hand mindlessly ran up and down your arm, as you thought about what you should say.

“Yeah,” you huffed. “What have you been up to, Sana?” Hearing you say her name still sent chills down her spine. Suddenly she recalled the first time she saw you. 

The atmosphere of the club wasn’t ideal. Sana liked going out, but there was something off about that night. She’d been begging her friends for hours to go home until she bumped into you. Bright smile, tight dress, dark makeup. Her mood changed completely as you turned around, apologizing for almost spilling your drink on her. 

“I’m Y/N,” you’d told her, stretching your arm out. Her palm was clammy, and her fingers shook as she gripped your hand.

“Sana,” she whispered, her voice was barely audible over the loud music of the club, but your proximity had allowed you to understand. Her voice was soft, and she’d seemed dazed. “It’s nice to meet you.” she smiled. 

She shrugged her shoulders as her cheeks flushed, pressing her lips together.  “Nothing really,” she sighed, scrunching up her nose. “just traveling with some friends.”

“Yeah? I didn’t expect to see you in here,” you tell her. She smiles. 

“I didn’t think you’d leave Korea, at least not so soon,” Sana admitted. An awkward silence settled in around the both of you as you maintained eye contact. “Small world, though, huh?” she tried to break the tension. “I’m glad to see you. You look good.”

“I’m glad to see you, too. Where are you staying”

“Some cheap hotel in the city,” she told you, walking beside you up to the counter. “I can’t remember how to say the name, but I remember how to get there.” The cashier looked between the both of you, rolling his eyes.

“Is all this stuff together, or you guys paying separately?” he asked. You began pulling out your wallet when Sana shouted “Together!” in her adorable English accent. You still shook your head, protesting the idea. 

“It’s fine,” Sana cooed, shrugging off the sour attitude of the store clerk.

“I’ll need to see some ID,” he told her, his voice monotone. She pulled out her passport and handed it to him with both hands, smiling. His mood never lifted, and he handed her document back to her. “Here,” he said, pushing the bag so far it nearly fell off the counter. 

The two of you left the store, and you held the door open for Sana, thanking her for buying your things. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” she laughed. “So, where are you living now?”

“Funny story, actually. My roommate kicked me out a few hours ago.” you laughed. Sana’s expression was serious. “I mean, not permanently or anything,” you assured her. “She’s just got her asshole boyfriend over, so I have to find somewhere else to sleep for the weekend.”

“She seems very inconsiderate,” Sana frowned. You chuckled, shrugging your shoulders. “You can stay with me, you know...if you want. I won a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, so I got my own room this trip!”

“Really? You won?” you teased her. She scoffed, pulling out some Starbursts. 

“Of course I did. Anyway, you want to? We should catch up.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll come.”

Sana smiled, twirling some of your hair around her finger. Her head rested on your shoulder as she softly sang along to the song that blasted from the TV. Her friends danced, jumped, and swayed along to the beat, teasing the two of you about how close you sat together.

“How much longer will you be here? These past few weeks have been so fun!” her friend Momo laughed. Her breath had been heavy from dancing, she plopped down beside you, tilting her head. 

“I’m not sure. I don’t really want to leave,” you told her. Sana then squeezed your arm subtly. You looked over at her for a split second, took in her expression, then panned your eyes over all of her friends. “I like it here, and you guys are fun.”

“Yeah! You should try to find a good job here! Or maybe start going to school here!” Nayeon smiled.

“Yeah, that’d be really great,” you told them.

You followed Sana through the city, bumping shoulders with her every now and then. She told you about her plans and how long she planned on being in the states. Your eyes scanned her face carefully. She still looked the same. KIller smile, big bright eyes, soft skin. 

Unbeknownst to you, she’d been doing the same thing. Sneaking glances every now and then when you weren’t looking. Sana tried to muster up the courage to talk about everything that happened before you left but for now, she knew things needed to be taken slow. 

Maybe that was the problem, maybe she messed everything up before. You’d only known each other for five or six weeks, and she’d fallen in deep. It’s not uncommon, two people finding each other in unusual positions. Being friends, but actually being involved in something much deeper than just a friendship. Still, it makes it no easier to be the one drowning.

“Here we are,” she sighed. You looked around the room, noting that it was spacious, especially for the price, but there was only one bed. Sana noticed your expression and spoke up. “Yeah, about that,” she giggled. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“C’mon, no way.”

“We’ll figure out sleeping arrangments later, then.” 

You spent most of the night watching movies, talking, and finishing the six-pack you’d previously gotten. Sana was a lot more confident after downing a few drinks. Even something as tame and watered down as convenience store beer boldened her actions. She wasn’t afraid to lean against you, play with our hair, or wrap her arms around you. 

You’ve missed the feeling of her skin against yours. You knew the moment you left you’d regret not saying bye, at least, but the thought of being in love scared you more than you’d like to admit. Especially with someone like Minatozaki Sana. If perfection in people existed, she had it. Nothing about her was flawed to you. From her funny and caring personality to her slim and petite figure. 

“What are you thinking about?” she yawned from beside you.

“You sound sleepy,” you told her, effectively changing the subject. She nodded, stretching her arms up into the air. 

“I am,” she whispered. You helped her onto the bed, removing her socks and fluffing the stiff hotel pillows. It didn’t do much, but Sana was thankful for the gesture. “Sleep here,” she cooed, patting the pillow next to hers. You hesitated, running your eyes over her face. “if you sleep on the floor you’re gonna kill your back.” Sana giggled, sounding much more innocent than she had moments before.

“True,” you shrugged. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna change.”

“Okay,” 

Sana’s mind began racing as you entered the bathroom. She wasn’t sure if telling you about how she felt was the right move. Getting so close to you is what caused things to go wrong in the first place. At the same time, being so far away from you and not being able to keep in touch was excruciating. 

“I have to tell her,” she thought to herself, but truth be told she didn’t know how to. As you came out of the bathroom, clad in silky black shorts and a baggy long sleeve t-shirt, she decided you were still the most beautiful person she’s ever seen. Your hair, your lips, your figure, all compiled together, manifesting a real-life goddess. 

“What is it?” you asked as you slipped under the covers, turning on to your side so that you faced the girl in front of you. She was grinning from ear to ear.

“Nothing. I just missed this, you know? Hanging out with you.” she tucked her long hair behind her ear and adjusted her head on her pillow. You smiled too, agreeing. 

“Me too,”

“Well, I’m glad.” she smiled. The two of you fell into a comfortable silence. She played with your fingers, massaging patterns into your palms, and laughed at your expressions when she tickled you. It was evident that “just friends” would never be something you could label your relationship as. You knew it, Sana knew it, and you both had a pretty solid feeling that it wasn’t and never was really hidden. 

“Um,” Sana cleared her throat. Laughing and cringing at her own sudden awkward shyness. Her cheeks flushed, and her heartbeat sped up. You knew what was coming, but you let her speak anyways. “in case it isn’t obvious, I really like you. And I have for a long time.”

Despite knowing she was about to bring this up, it still overwhelmed you. Only this time it wasn’t like before. You didn’t feel scared or intimidated. Something was telling you to just accept it and be happy. 

“I know.” you smiled back at her. “I really like you, too.”

She pulled your face to hers and did what you’d both been yearning for. Months of confusing feelings and waging war on yourself finally came to an end. “Let’s just start over, okay? And no more ghosting.”

“I promise,” you grinned, pulling her in for another kiss. 

[yung-gunshot]

In questions!

thank you denna @kisamas

1. What takes up too much of your time? rn its mainly vibeo game and anime. i still play djmax respect like almost every single day plus also playing ace combat 5 & 7 and i recently finished watching ergo proxy which was pretty cool

2. What makes your day better? cooking something yummy like pasta or curry makes my day better and just generally playing games something that distracts me from my problems at the moment

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? i made pasta with sausage, broccoli, and spinach for dinner and it was really good 

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? hm i havent really thought about this but i think it would be cool to see the netsphere from blame! but without being involved in all the fucked up stuff i just love the architecture 

5. Are you good at giving advice? i would like to think so but none of my friends i know irl reach out to me so maybe i think not i just speak bollocks 

6. Do you have a mental illness? hm not sure, i never got officially diagnosed but im pretty sure i may have developed depression ever since i graduated hs

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? i dont think i have 

8. What musician inspires you the most? not sure about musicians but deathgrips and jpegmafia have kinda inspired me at the moment just because they make whatever they want without being afraid of what people think of them

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yea its happened twice now

10. What’s your dream date? i dont really think about this just because i dont think it will ever happen but i think just hanging out and going hiking anywhere would be nice and i really enjoy checking out new places to eat in town

11. What do others notice about you? not really sure about this question tbh maybe that im really easy to get along with? and i dont like the fact that i exist outside of my own perception 

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? isolation? but also i tend to bounce my leg and play with my hair a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? nope 

14. How many exes do you have? 2

15. How many songs are in your playlist? im not really sure i just have 3 playlists on spotify that most songs go to depending on the mood they are pretty huge though so id say at least 100 per playlist

16. What instruments can you play? i used to be able to play the trumpet in elementary 

17. What do you have the most pictures of? i have lots of landscape pics from the places i go camping and hiking then its just anime girls memes etc

18. Where would you like to go before you die? i think it would be really nice to see japan, korea, and indonesia plus also visit every national park here in the us and some parts in mexico like cancun and puebla 

19. What’s your zodiac? aquarius 

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but most of the time i think its stupid 

21. What is happiness to you? just living a life where i dont have to maintain a certain image of myself and free from the pressures of modern day life and capitalism 

22. Are you going through anything right now? yea i still havent registered for fall classes yet and also havent been able to find a job either and i lost my friendship with my best friend a month ago

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? i think telling my best friend i grew feelings for them is by far the worst thing ive done to date and its just something im never going to forgive myself for

24. What’s your favorite store? winco, samber and la chiquita (local hispanic stores) and grocery outlet

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nope

27. Do you have a favorite album? ive had a few as my all time fav like Emily’s D+Evolution , To Pimp A Butterfly and Toxicity, rn though im really enjoying Dog Whistle by Show Me the Body, Infest the Rats’ Nest by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and Veteran by Jpegmafia

28. What do you want for your birthday? maybe some new cardigans and candles would be nice

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? i think people see me as a quiet and distant person because i dont talk that often when meeting new people

30. What age do you seem according to most people? my age (21) -/+ 1

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? i keep it on the corner of my bed next to my head

32. What word do you say the most? bollocks, bellend, fuck, worm 

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 25

34. What’s the youngest you would date? maybe 20 but they would have to be a very specific type of person for me to consider dating them, safe bet with 21

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? art teacher

36. What’s your favorite music genre? it used to be hip hop for a really long time but now i like rock and metal but really ill listen to anything except for country and edm. ive also just been listening to a ton of vibeo game and anime music too 

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i honestly think if the world wasn’t dictated by money i would want to live in mexico or japan tbh i like the us but just for the nature and landscapes 

38. What is your current favorite song? Camp Orchestra by Show Me the Body

39. How long have you had this blog for? i think i started in the middle or end of 2015

40. What are you excited for? i cant really say im looking forward for anything other than death stranding coming out and the dlc for ace combat 7

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im a better listener than i am a talker bc when i talk i cant even understand what im saying sometimes. listening is much more important to me bc i can actually process what people are saying 

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i talked to my adviser today and made some food and took my dog out for a walk at the park

43. What do you want for Christmas? i would like more board games to play with my cousins and friends and maybe some new pants too

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont know about best grades but its usually my painting and drawing courses 

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 5

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? i honestly dont know and the only thing that comes to mind is being a teacher? i just live day to day 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i guess after i graduated hs we were talking before we graduated but things sorta fell apart and i realized my feelings a bit too late to change anything 

48. What age do you want to get married? not sure since i cant see myself being taken seriously enough to want to marry but i guess ill say any age before 40

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i dont quite remember but i recall wanting to do space travel so maybe an astronaut? or astronomer

50. What do you crave right now? emotional stability, some taro milk tea, and more pasta\

im gonna tag @deredere @euthymiclurker and @dementatree :)

[fineline-live]

Never Be • lrh

Title: Never Be

Reader Pairing: Y/N and Luke

Rating: eh it’s fluff just bc i need some Lu fluff rn

WARNINGS: mention of panic attack, description of panic attack

Description: Luke never realized how loud he kept his guitar and microphone amps until he heard a girl humming a song about herself.

For the past 18 years I’ve looked out the same window in my room to see that tan garage, the same four boys growing up while walking in and out of it. It was my neighbor Luke’s house, his three friends having grown up hanging out with him. We were all for the most part the same age, their friend Ashton being the oldest by a year or two. The garage was Luke’s bedroom, his parents fitting it to look nicer but also withhold all the noise of the instruments he would play. Luke and I were considered best friends, having grown up together. When we were younger we’d always play outside together, and as we got older we’d settle for smaller things like a movie night or even just a video game filled sleep over. Now as we both reached the age of 18, the quiff haired boy started to become more reserved, only really ever letting one person come over anymore, and that was Michael, myself getting demoted from bestest friend to even just acquaintance.

I watched as the red haired boy pulled up in his shitty broken down truck, getting out and walked in through the garage door. I eventually just shut my curtains, irritated that I wasn’t the one getting to go over and talk to Luke about his day. It’s been months since we even had a movie night, which is rare considering we’d have one at least twice a week. I turned back to my notebook, doodling the smallest things, writing words in fancy fonts, doing anything that could get my mind off of my evergrowing loneliness. I heard Michael’s truck door slam and couldn’t help but look out the window to see him get back in his truck and drive off. He was only with Luke for a good five minutes, leaving me to wonder why he left so quick. I shrugged and went back to doodling, soon hearing the sound of an amp being loudly plugged in. It was probably just Luke setting up his guitar for something.

It was a couple minutes until I started to hear the strumming of chords. I set my pencil down and opened up my window so I could hear better, something Id always do when Luke would play something. The song he started to play didn’t sound familiar though. Usually he would play some type of cover, but I couldn’t pick out what this was. He started to sing along, his voice soft with the music. I pulled up my desk chair next to the window and just sat there for what felt like hours, Luke playing the same song over and over again, perfecting his rhythm and his tone. He eventually stopped playing, leaving me to open my eyes and collect my surroundings, having had sat for so long. I turned back and grabbed my pencil and notebook from my bed and write down what lyrics I could remember from Luke singing.

“I need your love to light up this house,

I wanna know what you’re all about,

I wanna feel you feel you(?) all night

I need to tell you that it’s alright (?) you look fine (?)

....

We’ll never be as young as we are now

It’s time to leave this old black and white town

Let’s seize the day, Let’s run away, Don’t let the colours fade to grey

We’ll never be as young as we are now

As young as we are now”

It was all I could remember, just pieces of what I thought were the words. The tune was stuck in my head though, the chorus sticking out most to me. I had finished writing down parts of it when I heard the garage door slam, Luke trudging out while looking at his phone. He looked the same as he always had. Tall, lanky, pale, quiffed blonde hair, black skinny jeans, and a pair of vans. He hasn’t changed at all in demeanor, so part of me still questioned why he pushed me away so much. I just shrugged, having already dealt with the hurt in the past, not caring enough to go through it again. I closed my window so I wouldn’t have to hear anything. There was a knock on my door, my mum opening it to reveal the sounds of chattering down the hall towards the kitchen. “Foods done.” Was all she said, shutting the door and walking back down the hall. I sighed, wondering who she invited over now, and tightened my arms around my sweater, the autumn weather causing a breeze throughout the house.

I walked down the hall, voices laughing and talking about several different subjects. While walking around the corner I peeked my head to see who was here before taking a deep breath. My feet had already carried me to far to back up, my hands beginning to shake. Liz was here with Celeste, Jack’s girlfriend, talking to my mum about something. Andy, Jack, and my father all having a conversation about a new surf line that Rip Curl came out with. And then there was Luke who just walked in, standing awkwardly in the corner, nodding along to things his dad said. That’s why he finally came out of his room. Liz was the first to notice my appearance, becoming overly excited and loud. “Y/N, sweetheart! How are you?” She walked over for a welcoming hug, squeezing me tight, Celeste doing the same after. “I’m good!”

I walked over towards Jack, giving him a tight side hug. “Hey, dude,” He laughed, hugging tighter. “Wassup, dude.” We both chuckled, Jack keeping his arm around me as they continued talking. Andy reached his hand out for a fist bump, smiling at me as my dad brought up dinner. “Dinner is done if everyone wants to grab a plate!” Everyone smiled at each other, walking to the kitchen island to get a plate. I turned back to look at Luke, a frown on his face as he watched me walk away. I gave him a half assed smile, him not even bothering to return it. I rolled my eyes and turned around, getting my plate of food and following everyone to the larger table we had for when guests were over. We all sat down, Luke ending up in the last spot which happened to be next to me, even though I talked to Jack the whole time.

When we finished eating, everyone sat around the table still talking. I pulled out my phone, scrolling through it as Luke was doing, and without realizing started to hum a tune in my head. I couldn’t figure it out so I just kept repeating it over and over, trying to remember what song it was. Luke had looked up from his phone at me, analyzing the song and his eyes going wide when he heard it. I noticed my phone was about to die, so I got up and walked towards my room to plug it in. As I was plugging in my phone, I didn’t notice Luke walk in behind me until I heard him close my door. “Jesus, Luke.” I held my hand to my chest to try to steady my breathing. “How do you know that song?” His voice was low, almost terrified. I set my phone down on the windowsill and shrugged. “Calm down, mate. You play it all the time.”

His eyes went wider if possible. “You hear me play it?” I nodded my head, not getting why he was so worked up over this. “D-Do you know the words to it?” I shrugged again. “Some of them. It’s kinda hard to hear you through the garage walls, but I can pick some of the words out.” His hands flew to his face, covering it and sitting on the edge of my bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This cannot be happening.” I looked at him confused, wondering what he was so upset over. “What?” He shook his head, rubbing his eyes and taking deep breaths. “You can’t fucking walk in here and make a big deal over a fucking song when you don’t talk to me for five months, Luke. That’s not how this works.” I crossed my arms against my chest as he slipped himself down to the floor from the bed. His shoulders started heaving, and his hands kept rubbing at his eyes and covering his face. From all the years I knew Luke, I knew what the symptoms were.

I crawled down to my knees, making my way over to his shaking body. He made gasps for air as he rubbed his eyes, trying to get out of the headspace he was in. “You’re okay, Luke. You’re okay. I’m right here, I promise.” I knew unless Luke initiated it, touching him would only make it worse, so I kept my hands to myself. I kept talking to him softly. “Lu, breathe, love. You’re okay.” One of his hands left his face, reaching out to grab one of mine, trying to tell me he needed me close. I scooted closer to him, wrapping my arm around him and trailing my hand up and down his back. I rubbed softly as he tried to call himself down, his breathing still erratic. “Let’s count, Lu. Up to five and then we’ll hold our breath for five more seconds. Can you do that?” I started counting, having to restart every few seconds due to Luke not being able to gain any composure. I knew I’d have to be patient with him, so I just kept starting over, giving him any opportunity to join. His breathing started to slow, choked words finding their way out. “O-One, two, three, f-four, five.” He held his breath, counting to five again. We repeated the process together a few more times until Luke could fully regain his breathing, his face not as red as he was. I pulled him into me, continuing to rub his back, his shoulders shaking every once in awhile from a staggered breath.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” I asked softly. He took another deep breath, nuzzling his face further into my neck. “The songs called Never Be.” I nodded my head, waiting to hear what else he has to say. “I-It’s about, about loving someone and being stuck in a small sh-shitty ass town like th-this.” I rubbed his back softer, leaning my head against his. “Did you write it for someone?” His breath choked in his throat, his body starting to shake. “I cant tell you that.” “That’s okay! It’s okay, Lu. You don’t have to tell me anything else if you don’t want to.” I whispered. He took a shaky breath, exhaling against my neck. “You’ll think I’m crazy if I tell you who it’s about. Especially after how I’ve treated them lately.” My mind started to race, thinking of anyone it could be about. He hasn’t had any girls over in the last couple of months, so I was left confused. “Try me,” I offered.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I craned my neck and looked down at him. “For what?” He shook his head with a sad smile. “For just going MIA on you. Just fucking leaving you to fend for yourself. For not being there for you. For being a shitty best friend. Fuck, I’m probably not even your friend anymore after how I treated you.” I sat against my bed on the floor, with Luke leaning against me. My hand rubbing his back, and the other one reaching down and fidgeting with his fingers. “Was it about me?” His breathing got warmer against my neck, his body trying to pull away. “M’ sorry. I shouldn’t have written it.” I pulled him back to look at me, our fingers still awkwardly intertwined. “You said it’s about loving someone? And being stuck in a shitty town?” He nodded his head, staring down at our fingers.

“I got scared,” he whispered. “I knew that if I told you how I was feeling that you’d probably just laugh and tell me to fuck off and stop joking. I tried to push the feelings away, and I figured if I pushed you away, they would go with, and they didn’t, and I fucking cried myself to sleep for the last five months because you’re over here living your live and I’m so in love with you that I start to panic and can’t think straight. And I just got so scared. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been in love.”

Tears sat in my eyes, tears of confusion, and being overwhelmed, and being in love. I grabbed Luke’s hand tighter, interlocking our fingers for good. He started to ramble again repeating all of his earlier words. “Shut the fuck up, Lu,” I laughed softly. He looked at me confused, wondering what he said wrong. I smiled at him. “The more you talk, the less of a chance I have to kiss you.” His eyes went wide, a blush creeping onto his face as I softly pulled his face in towards mine. His lips were soft and warm, and they felt like something that I didn’t wanna let go of. “So what does this mean?” Luke asked pulling away gently. Our foreheads sat together, our noses bumping, our breaths mixing. I couldn’t help but lean in for another small kiss. When I pulled away I smiled, a small giggle escaping my lips.

“It means pack your shit and get your keys because we’re leaving this shitty ass town.”