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dawnoftime22 · 5 months

Text

a constant sickness.

| N.R

Warnings: mental breakdown at the end, overthinking, being sensitive while horribly sick, mention of throwing up, headaches, r loves orcas(?)

Summary: While Nat was away at a SHIELD meeting, you had gotten sick once again. Having been sick for the millionth time in the past few months, you were tired.

Word Count: 6.4k

Category: Fluff, maybe a little hurt/comfort later on

A/N: I guess you could say this is a vent fic? I've been sick a lot, and it isn't fun, so I ended up making this. please drink water everyone and take care of yourself. love you all <3

| Started on 07/11/2023, 6:11 PM |

| Finished on 19/11/2023 8:07 AM |

Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

“darling, you have been so strong. so please,

lay down and let yourself rest for a while.”

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

The morning birds sang a beautiful song, and the gray sky filled up the room with light. It came along with the rain, the glass windows fogged up from the cold.

The place beside you was empty as you were curled up asleep, all cozy, but missing the touch of a certain redhead.

Soon enough, your eyes slowly open, blinking away your sleep for a few minutes. But you instantly notice the horrid, miserable feeling of a sore throat.

Of course. You had gotten sick again. And the exact day Nat has a meeting. Why couldn't you get sick yesterday? You thought. Or tomorrow, in fact, she's free almost all day for this week.

You shake your head to get your mind to stop before it goes crazy. It's far too early in the morning for this. You stretch, wanting to get your tense muscles loose once again, but doing so just made you feel more tired.

Having woken up alone, you sigh. If you hadn't felt so horrible, then your morning would've been great. But, well, there's nothing much you could do.

Your hands gently grab the soft orca plushie Nat had bought for you just sitting at the end of the bed. Seeing as she wasn't present at the moment, you hug it.

It was quite precious to you, really. Nat didn't know what to get you one anniversary day, and she had thought about how once, when an animal documentary was randomly on the tv, it had videos of orcas just swimming, and jumping. She was in the kitchen while you sat in the living room, laid down sideways as you watched with shining eyes on the screen, like a child.

The adorable sounds that sure, yes, was a terrifying sound for the other animals in the ocean, as they were killer whales, still made you love them nonetheless. Nat smiled at you when she set down the meal she just finished cooking on the table, and called you to eat.

The memory serves as a comfort of sort. You always loved how deep Nat thought about her gifts, and you're always grateful. It wasn't much, but to you, it was everything. Truly, you could never think of having a better girlfriend than her.

Not long after you continued staying comfortably in bed, cuddling up with the orca plushie, your nose began to clog up, making you unable to breathe properly.

The uncomfortable feeling had forced you to get up, and once you were, everything was back to normal. Almost. It's always so annoying having a stuffy nose. You begrudgingly and slowly get out of bed, careful to not make yourself dizzy by going too fast. The target of the tissue box was in your sights, and you somehow make it even with your low energy.

The tissue easily slides out of the box when you grab it, and you blow into it, clearing your nose a bit. After pulling away, you groan a little in disgust and the realization that you'll have to do this again after another few minutes.

You throw out the used tissue into a nearby trash can, and just when you thought of sitting in bed or slumping into the desk chair just to stare out the window to watch cars go by, your stomach feels too empty.

Welp. Your mouth forms a tired pout, but before your stomach could even make any noise at you for not moving to get some food, you grab a nearby jacket and put it on. The warmth it provided surrounded you with a feeling of comfort and safety. As it should, considering the jacket was on Nat's side of the bed. Honestly, you can't tell which one is Nat's or yours anymore with how much the two of you share with each other by now.

You start to make your way out of the bedroom, and into the living room, the curtains already being open since Nat had left when the sun came up, while you were still sleeping.

The house lacked her presence. With you taking a glance at the kitchen, you had hoped to see her red hair basking in the morning sunlight, yet nothing but the kitchen counters and cabinets looked back at you.

You blink away the tiredness and dizziness that started to cloud your vision, and you went over to the kitchen, arriving suddenly somehow. The first thing you grabbed was a cup of water, drinking it and wincing at it going down your aching throat. The feeling soon dissolves into an itch that made you cough once or twice. Well, at least you were more awake now.

Considering a lot of options were out of the view because of your throat, you settled for bread, seeing as it was the softest thing you could find at the moment. You almost shakingly set down the plate on the table, because of how weak your body started to be from the fever, but you grab your choice of spread to put on with a butter knife anyway. Even if being sick meant you were tired, you still needed something to eat, otherwise you'd just get sicker. It wasn't much of a choice, really.

Once you had your meal ready, you sat down at the dining table, taking a bite of your sandwich. Here goes the awful long, long chewing as you tried your best not to have your stomach throw up whatever thats left within it.

You grab your phone as you ate, turning it on and opening your messages app. You click on Nat's contact, your fingers drifting off to type in some words that your head can barely even make out to be a sentence from the little dizziness.

<- Nat <3 [◉¯]

hey Nat, I got sick again. do you think

you can come home quicker? :(

I miss you

Sent at 9:37 AM

hi, darling <3 you're sick again?

I'm sorry detka, the earliest I can

get back is at 4

I'll see if I can sneak off earlier, but

try to get comfortable and watch some

tv my love. have you eaten?

I'll get you some things before I get home too. message me if anything happens, okay? I miss you too, and I love you

Read at 9:38 AM

it's okay, you don't have to

rush if you can't

I'm eating some bread right now

so yeah, don't worry

I love you too <3 get home safe.

Read at 9:38 AM

She didn't have to rush. Right? No, of course not. Maybe a little. You just didn't want to worry her. If we're being completely honest, it's not really okay considering how sick you were and how you were all alone in the house.

Your face had a sad smile. Having checked the time, it's going to feel like forever until she was home. You're just going to have to distract yourself in the meanwhile, and hope this one doesn't make you feel like going through hell.

You turn off your phone and set it down on the table, finishing up the last of your piece of bread. Since there's not much else you could do in the kitchen anymore, you leave the plate and cup in the sink.

The fever wasn't horrible at the moment, but you could already expect what'll happen later in the day. You thought of the little work you still haven't finished yet though.

Throwing up your hands in exasperation to, no one in particular, you walk back to the bedroom, seeing the desk you usually sit at near the window. At least the skies weren't bright. And maybe the rain will even come back, if you're lucky enough.

There were papers already ready on it for you to check and go over, having been taken by you when you were at work before.

You sat down on yet another chair, and the window casts a light upon everything on the desk, also giving the old wood a glow.

At least you can swivel and spin around in your desk chair. You grab a pen laying around, but you didn't start until you played a playlist of slow peaceful songs from your phone.

Everything was going fine as time passed by, but you're starting to feel worse. The day might have gone to lunch or brunch time by now, but you weren't done yet. Probably due to the many times you've spaced out, or somehow more papers just kept spawning in out of nowhere. It always feels never ending until you actually finish it all.

To make matters worse, you even feel an incoming headache upon you. You're definitely not finishing up those remaining papers today, that's for sure.

You end up giving up and leaving them on the desk, walking back out to the living room and into the kitchen to take some pills, hopefully letting the headache pass.

Afterwards, your legs lead you away to grab the orca plushie, just to go back out and plop down on the couch, grabbing the tv remote to put on the first thing you thought of that would distract you from the awful sickness.

It's starting to hit you now. The jacket you wore started to feel a little too warm, causing you to take it off one arm and the other, letting it fall down on the couch.

You could feel the mucus in your nose go down to your throat without being able to stop it. Knowing it did that and even feeling it irked you. You start coughing, the sound obvious with sickness.

Thankfully it was a short cough, and your eyes continue to focus on the screen once more, the scenes playing relaxing you. Your tense muscles loosened a little at the coziness of the living room, even if your nose was being annoying, and your throat makes you cough. You wished Nat was here. So, so badly. But it was still only 12 PM. Even if you're functional, it doesn't mean you don't feel awful.

The noises coming from the tv was quiet. Enough so that you're able to feel dozy. And not in the headache, dizzy way this time fortunately. Your eyes go from being light, to feeling heavy. Your focus also started to include your breathing without meaning to.

Soon, you gave in, surrendering to the darkness that that lured you into sleep.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

Nat arrives home with a bag full of items she had gotten for you. She takes off her shoes and puts the plastic bag on the kitchen island, careful not to make anything fall the wrong way. After she was done with that, she turns to the living room, hearing noises that she would only presume would be the tv, just faintly. She takes off her jacket as she goes, placing it on the couch when she was close enough.

That was when she saw you, all curled up on the couch with the plushie she got you. The sight made her adore you, but also make her feel sad. She would only ever see you like this when you were super sick and tired, or waiting on her to come home.

It's only happened a few times, but a few was enough to make her understand how your fevers feel. A lot of people would just go with their day and deal with it, but you weren't the type of person to be able to. It's not that you wouldn't, you just couldn't. It always had a high chance of taking you the worst.

What made things more concerning is that you're falling sick more often, it's leading to be not normal. Others would say it's the seasons, but with your experience, it really isn't. Nat just hopes your body only hates you at the moment, and you'll get a longer break sometime soon.

Her feet takes her to stand in front of you and kneel down, her hand going up to lay gently against your forehead. The warmness you radiated makes her frown.

Your breathing started to lessen its softness, and you start waking up, possibly either from her presence, the hand on your forehead, or your throat starting to feel dry. Probably all the above.

Your eyes flutter open, and there you see the redhead you love so much right in front of you. Her green eyes looked at you so softly as you registered the scene you awoke to.

"Hi, детка (baby). You feeling okay?" She asks softly, her fingers drifting away to gently pull your hair away from your face. Even when she spoke Russian, her voice was caring.

That was when you were so willing to break, just seeing her looking at you so softly made all your courage to stay strong from the sickness had faltered. But you tried keeping the tears in.

You shook your head fatiguely, your eyes still tired. She knew the answer, but she hoped the sleep brought you more relief. Instead you got the worser effects. It was a chance of either being worse or your throat magically being better.

"That's okay. I got you orange juice and soup, дорогой (darling)." the drink made your face brighten up a little, but the soup almost made you scrunch up your nose in an act of disgust.

"Well, you don't wanna throw up, do you?" Nat raises an eyebrow at you. Her voice was gentle, so it wasn't scolding and it wasn't a threat. Maybe a little bit of a threat, but you needed one considering you know you'll end up feeling nauseous if you don't eat. It's a miserable feeling, even if afterwards you'll be able to get whatever sickness it is out of your system, the process for it isn't great.

You purse your lips and shake your head, the memories of having to go through the nausea being horrible. She gives you a small smile, and moves to stand up.

Nat helps you slowly stand up with her, holding you up with her arms and letting you put a little of your weight on her as you walked. She didn't trust how dizzy you looked when you stood up. You wouldn't either, because the room looked like it was dancing just a little.

She sits you down on the dining table, going off to open the plastic bag and get out the contents within it. First and foremost, she opens the orange juice bottle and pours it in a cup for you, placing it in front of you on the table.

You try and take ahold of it as calmly as possible, but Nat smiles at the small excitement she sees at you being able to drink orange juice. The juice goes down your throat easily, basically almost clearing the germs in some way.

It somehow always helps, and you were relieved it did. Nat's gotten everything out the bag by now, and she's working away on cooking up a delicious chicken soup for you.

As you watched her move in the kitchen, humming a melody to herself every now and then, you slowly drank, trying your best not to finish all the orange juice before you eat. Thankfully you had breakfast down earlier, so there wasn't much air in your stomach or anything to get the nausea to come back.

The time was 2:45 PM. Nat really did sneak away from the SHIELD work somehow. She would do anything for you after all. Or, Fury and Maria had known and dismissed her. Yes, it may just be a fever, but it's been far too many times now to count, so you'd guess they were pretty concerned too. And there was only one redhead who could truly take care of you.

Nat sets down the bowl of soup gently on your side of the table, while on her side she places down a bowl of mac and cheese. One in particular, you know Yelena would love. Your thoughts were wandering with people, but you did just get a nap after all. You may not have felt better, but your mind did clear up a bit more.

"Can I have a bit?" You ask, your voice groggy from the sore throat, but it makes out the sentence. The cheesy, but not too cheesy mac and cheese stared at you like it would melt in your mouth. It was too tempting and seemed way too delicious to not have a taste.

"Sure. Only a little," She said, aware of the fact that the cheese would probably make you cough more.

Nat looks at you amused as you took a spoonful, knowing you wouldn't be able to resist a bite. She didn't really get it to tease you or anything though, she just almost kind of misses Yelena. And she hasn't eaten any mac and cheese in a while. Plus, the blonde had always made the best mac and cheese.

She's been away doing widow work combined with some other assassin work. Nat wasn't entirely sure, but the jokes she tends to make are definitely missed by you. Though, you love Nat's company, love and the comfort she provides by herself just as much.

When you finish the spoon of mac and cheese you had just eaten earlier, you start on your soup with a smile on your face, satisfied at the taste. Nat was relieved. Sure, she wasn't as good as Yelena. No one was, to be honest, but the way your lips are turned up means you approved.

Your throat ends up letting out a cough once more after you swallowed, making you clear your throat to try and get rid of it. When it didn't work, you drank your orange juice. And of course, like magic there was no more bacteria spluttering. Or well, you hope so in the minutes that go by.

"You know, Yelena got a dog." Natasha says, wanting something to distract you a little from your sickness. And she's been wanting to talk to you about it ever since she got a call from Yelena at work. You look up at her with surprise and excitement.

"What? Really? Can I meet it??" Your questions spilled out one after another, excitement filling up your entire body at the new information. She lets out a small chuckle at your happiness.

"Yeah, she's coming back in a week." She mixes around the cheese with the macaronis more, having finished a layer of the outside, she had gotten to the less cheesier parts.

"Does the dog have a name?" Yes, you were excited about the other widow coming back, but at the moment you were very much distracted on the dog part.

Nat's lips purse at the memory of Yelena telling her the name she gave it. "Fanny." She says, with no other comment. The name being taken from the time she was in hiding during the 'Civil War between Captain America and Iron Man', as people called it... Fanny Longbottom. God, did Mason really not have any other choice than that one? That was Nat's thoughts, anyway.

You, on the other hand, giggled a little, careful not to laugh too much, or you'd end up in a coughing fit. "I love it. It reminds me of you a bit."

"Don't even speak about it." Nat responds playfully. Her eyebrows furrows, while her lips turn up into a smile. She shakes her head. She should've expected Yelena would've done such a thing after telling her her undercover name.

You had to take a moment to gather yourself, almost completely laughing at the thought you just had. "At least she didn't choose 'Longbottom'."

She laughs, the sound like a melody to you. Something that can easily, oh, so easily make it so that the fever you have wasn't just complete hell. "Can you imagine?" Nat says.

"What if she did? If we ever had to take care of it while she was away, all you'd ever hear is 'Longbottom! Longbottoooom'." You act out a scene of you calling the dog, possibly while Yelena would come over or leave it to the two of you to take care of it.

"Which would be you adoring it. But yes, Fanny isn't bad." Nat raises her eyebrows on her first sentence, but agrees with you on the name choice.

"No, it would be both of us." You counter her, knowing there isn't only one animal lover in this household you're living in.

"Nope. I would be annoyed at Fanny getting all the attention." Her voice was soft at that point, somehow. Perhaps it accidentally tumbled out her mouth from her mind. Well, you were still focused on making her say she would practically spoil Fanny from how much she'll love the dog.

"Admit it. I know you adore Lucky at least, so! I'm not wrong here." The table goes quiet, the two of you finished with your food. But a thought clicks in your head at her last few words.

"Wait. Annoyed at Fanny getting all the attention? Do you mean you want my attention all on you instead?" It's quite obvious she would, considering you were the one she loves, and you love her, but you just like teasing her.

"...No. I just said I would be annoyed." She brushes it off, taking a sip of her own drink. Her face being completely and utterly normal. But you could clearly see the hint of lying from the way she sipped her drink while talking.

"Yes you did, and you had the attention part! Don't lie, Nat. I'm sick, but I can still have a great memory." You say, proud for having caught her. But the memory part is...partly true. She finished drinking and has the most adorable smile on her face.

"Okay, okay. You're obviously out of it. And now, we will go sleep." Nat gets up from her chair, shooting you a glance of 'we will never speak about it again or you are not getting cuddles' before picking up her empty bowl along with yours to go put them in the sink.

"Excuses, excuses!" You accuse her, a playful tone in your voice. But, you follow along with her, holding both yours and her empty cup.

You were about to help her do the dishes, but she protests to you about it. Even if you did puppy eyes or whatever, she would much rather have you getting some rest.

"Go lie in bed while I finish up here, yeah, любовь? (love)" She softly said. Her hands are on your waist, ready to stop you from turning back to face the sink.

"Okay." You quietly say, nodding your head a bit. She smiles at you before letting go of her hold on you, leaving you to turn and walk off to the bedroom.

Although you did spend most of your time on the couch just earlier, the cold started to take a toll on you and catch up with all thats left of your energy. Of course it was.

You tiredly and almost practically fell on the bed, the soft mattress welcoming your body. Just when you got comfortable, Nat comes walking in the room, holding up the orca plushie you forgot and left in the living room.

You looked up with realization, and reach out with your hands. Nat almost wanted to pull it away from you just to tease you back for the dining table incident, but that adorable face of yours made her relent. And she wouldn't wanna do such a thing when you're so sick anyway.

She lets you hold the soft plush while she got on her side, shuffling closer to you until she could cuddle you. You were expecting her to keep a small distance, considering you didn't really want to get her sick either, but when she pulled you closer, you end up putting the orca plushie just above your head on the pillow and putting your arms around her instead, craving her cuddles.

Her heartbeats gently thumps against her chest, echoing to your ears since you were so close to her. In the quietness of the room, only that, and the sound of both of your soft breathing could be heard. Only if you focused closely.

There was then, a tap against the roof. Nothing scary or creepy really, just a gentle tap. Then another, and it was a little thrumming that almost matched Natasha's heartbeat. Even she was a little confused, and her eyes were set on the ceiling. You know she would keep you safe all the time. But you thought the sound was familiar.

The tapping occurs more rapidly, and then it grows into a noise of which you can only identify as rainfall. It starts pouring outside, and the air starts getting chilly. But it was perfect.

Both you and Nat relaxes a little more at the sudden, but cozy background noise. You nuzzle against her neck in search for more of her warmth. She pulls the blanket up to cover more of your body, and lets her arms retreat back to the small of your back.

Soon enough the calmness of it all had your blinking go at a slow pace, now your eyelids falling down more to closing.

Surprisingly, your stuffy nose wasn't being annoying at the moment, but perhaps you had the cold temperature to thank for that. Your throat grew a little itchy though, so you looked away from Nat to not let the germs hit her, and let out a small cough to make it go away, hoping it doesn't get worse before you're asleep.

You turn back to the comfortable spot in the crook of her neck. Nat lays a gentle kiss on the side of your head, and that was when your eyes closed fully.

Seeing the state you were in when she got back home has her heart feeling a little heavy with concern, but she'll be beside you every second, no matter how long it takes for you to get better.

"Get better soon, мое маленькое солнышко (my little sunshine)." She whispers, slowly, and ever so softly. Only the rain responded back, but the feeling of your breathing against her was enough to let her fall asleep along with you.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

It was 3:35 AM. The rain outside was still ongoing, but it was a calmer, less noticeable rainfall.

You were awoken with a coughing fit, lasting a minute or so. You try to hold it in after a short break, the trapped air wanting to break out of your throat. Fortunately, or, well, unfortunately, Nat was still asleep, somehow. You'd guessed the meeting yesterday took her energy out a lot.

Not wanting to wake her, you slowly untangle yourself from her embrace, and crawl out of bed, all the while taking a few deep breaths not to go into another coughing fit. But of course, by the time you quietly leave the room, one was bound to happen once more as you make your way to the kitchen.

You open a cupboard and grab a glass, careful to make sure your grip was strong enough. After pouring yourself a glass of water and taking a sip, you sigh. The moment of it becoming worse came sooner than you expected. But that just means being sick will pass by just as quick. Or, you desperately hope it will.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Nat started opening her eyes to cold sheets, and her embrace was empty of any sign of you. She awoke more as she blinked. To see no sight of you as she looked around made her get out of bed quicker than being late to work has ever made her.

When she goes out the bedroom, she sees you standing in the kitchen, your shoulders tense from coughing so much. But relief flowed through her body when you appeared in her vision.

Concern came next. She snuck her hands in her pockets at the coldness the living room had to offer. She was missing the warm blankets, but she was also missing you. And you were her top priority at the moment, not to even add the given situation that's happening right now.

The sound of your awful coughing echoed to the walls and back to her ears distantly. "You didn't wake me." Her voice huskily sounded out, and you just about heard it from the horrible hell your body was giving you. Thankfully, you weren't surprised and didn't go into fight or flight mode or anything.

She walks closer until you were only centimeters away from each other. "Sorry." you whisper to her, your voice raw from your throat being so sore. One row of coughs lead to another, and soon it's the endless miserable feeling while Nat rubbed your back.

You stare off at the marble counter for a bit after opening your eyes at the two second break, trying to recollect your breathing and not cough again by taking deep breaths, but it barely helps. Natasha reaches her arm over to the side counter just next to the both of you, and grabs the water filled glass you had earlier, holding it up for you.

You had your hands gripping the marble counter in front of you, your eyes drags itself down to see the glass cup. You let go of the edge and hold the cup instead, taking a quick sip before coughing again. You slowly drank your water until your lungs calmed down.

Nat's arms go down to go around your waist, pulling herself closer to the back of your body to place her face near your neck. You could feel her nose brushing against your skin just slightly, giving you a sense of comfort.

"You want me to make you some tea?" her voice softly whispers out into the darkness while you set your empty glass down. She knows medicine is the last thing you'd want at the moment, and knowing you, you would simply say it doesn't help. And it really didn't feel like it did with how many times you've gotten sick.

You gently nod, and her eyes watches your movement. Her hand slides down to hold one of yours, squeezing it, while her other hand goes up to open a cupboard. She moved beside you to grab a teabag and a mug, then when she had to move away to grab some water and pour it to heat up in a kettle, her hand had left yours lonely.

Since she's waiting on it to warm up now, she turns to face you, her back leaning against the counter. You go closer to her, finding her hand once more. You rested your head against her chest and her free hand holds your back, surrounding you with warmth.

The minutes go by with the two of you staying in that embrace, a peaceful quietness upon the room.

"You okay?" she asks softly, as if the whole world was about to fall apart if she spoke any louder, and to you, it almost felt like so. But that was until she held you in her arms.

You couldn't tell. There wasn't a name to the feeling. Exhaustion? Maybe. You didn't give her an answer, you only held her tighter.

She understands that words may not be the best choice for you right now, and so, she pulls back slightly, but keeps a fair distance enough to not make you pout at the loss of closeness. She takes in every feature on your face. Though you may be sick, you were still the most adorable human being to her, and since you were so quiet, she takes her chance to show her love instead.

The redhead has a small smile on her face, just before she leans in to lay a kiss on the tip of your nose. The action leaves you a little stunned, because you thought she was only admiring you, but it warmed your heart either way. And then, a kiss on your forehead. At this point, she wants to get sick.

But then, she turns back around to the counter, her back now facing you. The water had heated up now, so she pours it from the kettle to the mug.

She grabs the teabag she had placed nearby earlier, and dips it into the hot water, letting it sink and soak. As that's happening, she goes ahead and grabs a spoon of sugar or so then carefully adds it into the tea, stirring it and just ever so slightly pressing on the teabag with the spoon to get it out quicker.

Once she was done she slowly spins around, making sure the hot mug wasn't anywhere close to hitting you. She then steadily makes her way back to the bedroom, with you beside her. You were careful not to accidentally bump into her either. The two of you kept focus on keeping the dangerous burning tea in the mug.

When you arrive at the bedroom, Nat places it on the bedside table, letting out a breath she unknowingly kept in. Mission accomplished. Yes, she was a trained assassin, and yes, she's an avenger, but sleep can really get to you with losing focus and a chance of spilling a drink...especially when it's dark at night like this. Well, at least the bedroom has some dim lighting on. It's dim, but not dimmer than the soft kitchen lights.

You were sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Nat to sit beside you. When she does, she's holding the mug in her hands, blowing air to the tea to cool it down for you.

You could do it yourself, both you and the widow knew that, but considering she took the opportunity to do it for you first, you let her. Plus, the way her eyes are so focused on the ripples its causing in the liquid to make it drinkable is adorable.

You wait patiently until she slowly gives the mug over to you, keeping an eye on your fingers that you put around the handle while she holds parts of it that wasn't boiling, making sure it won't fall out of either of your hands.

You take a small sip at first, and when the temperature felt okay to you, you drink it slowly, taking breaks so your body would be able to cool down.

The hot air comes out in a breath from your mouth, The warmness of the tea going down your throat filling your body with relief and relaxation.

Once you've finished after a few more minutes, Nat had been reading a book, while at the same time keeping an eye on you. You place the mug on the bedside table, and took a glance back at Nat.

She looked so worried, so tired still because she had only gotten a small amount of rest. You started thinking on how she was taking care of you, and you wished this sickness would just stop.

The way she looks up from the pages filled with ink, just to show you a smile for you finishing the tea, it hit you just as much as the other times that you got really lucky.

What if you deserved the sickness? All this good couldn't have come without a cost...right? Wrong, darling. Nat puts the book down on her bedside table, opening her arms for you to sit within.

You still had work to be finished. The events that's happened in the past week, even the small ones couldn't leave your mind, while for others, it had been easily forgotten. You should be doing more, you thought.

But you were trying. The best you could. Nat could see that, and almost everyone else could see if they knew how to simply look into a human's eyes. You were just too soft for all of it.

She only wants you to get better. Everything else didn't matter. Even Fury, Maria, and Yelena is probably worrying about you right now.

It's all crashing down. You were in her arms, and she places a gentle kiss atop your head. Her fingers gently danced at your back, drawing meaningless patterns.

Your face seemed tired, and her heart ached at the thought of how much you're suffering. You were tired, that was for sure. It was sickness after sickness, almost every week or month. You just wanted a break.

It's a vicious cycle. Sure, you kept yourself feeling great with jokes and little happy moments, but it didn't mean the worse ones weren't gonna come bite you again at random times.

You move closer into the crook of her neck, your eyes glazed over, and you couldn't have noticed it unless the moonlight had hit your eyes. When Natasha feels tears going down her neck and down to seep into her shirt, she pulls you in closer.

"Oh, милая (sweetheart)." You tried. You tried really hard to keep it inside, but a broken sob leaves your mouth at her soft and caring tone. You've been going through so much, and she knows that, even if its small things, too.

It hurt. It really did. Your throat, the headache you get every now and then, and mentally, you weren't doing all that well either. But she holds you safely, as much as she could. And that's just all you need.

"It's okay. You'll be okay." she whispers softly. Your body shakes with the emotions you held from the past. Her hand trailed up your body just to slide it down to your lower back once more. Her other hand, has her thumb rubbing the skin just below your neck, the little movement assuring you that she was there, as she always has been, and will continue to be.

It went on for a while until you were able to calm down, only dissolving into small bur sharp intakes of breath going in your liver from all the sobbing. You went quieter with each deep breath you took, Nat along with you because she knew you could feel her breathing against you, so she does deep breaths to help you fall into the same pace as her.

She goes back to normal breathing after your little hiccup sounding noises were gone. Your eyes had closed, exhausted from everything, and the way her thumb was still going forth in an up and down motion near your neck helps into making you fall asleep.

Nat looks down on your sleeping figure, glad that you were able to get your emotions out fully, and still get your sleep in. You deserved the whole world, the galaxy, and still more than that.

She leans down, whispering a soft "I love you," just near your ear before turning off the lamp and going to sleep herself.

|—————————— ⴵ ——————————|

Bonus! - in the morning... :]

The blankets were a jumbled mess, but it still kept the both of you warm, and somehow had no little holes that the cold could sneak into.

She continues to read her book with the fairy lights she turned on on the bedpost helping her see the words written. The redhead awoke just a few minutes ago, and she would be doing her morning routine or getting breakfast ready by now, but with you on her body, getting the rest you needed, she didn't have it in herself to move.

The soft orange light from the bedroom bouncing off the walls blends with the blue sky, making itself known by going through the windows and illuminating a part of the room.

Nat had forgotten to close the curtains the night before, having been too preoccupied in taking care of you. But even so, just seeing the scene coming alive in front of her makes her feel a little more at peace.

You, too, seemed much more at peace.

------------------

A/N: If you look closely you could notice sweet nothing by taylor hidden throughout this <3

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @natsbraids-deactivated20231115 :( @animealways @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff

#🥀 dawn’s collection #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff comfort

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sunraies · 1 year

Note

idk if u take smut requests, buuut i was thinking ab passenger princess rafe fucking u in the back of his new car

Passenger Princess Rafe is making me weak.

Lighthouse Grove

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings - +18, MDNI!! (Please don't, I will start blocking). Smut. fingering, overstimulation. squirting, praise. Crying. Car Sex.

As requested above

Lighthouse Grove (made up). Is a lookout point known for hookups and drugs.

I'm nervous about this one. All proofread once.

Passenger Princess has 2k. Holy shit!

"Rafe, I'm as comfortable as I can be." You pulled his chin gently towards you. "Hurry up and kiss me before I start to overthink."

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Comfortable, baby?" Rafe tucked his hoodie behind your head, providing more comfort leaning against the hard door.

"Yes, ma'am." He chuckled and captured your lips with his.

As his tongue ran over your bottom lip, his hand trailed up your leg, gently lifting the hem off your dress up. His tasted of fries and soda from long since discarded drive-tru meal.

It was meant to be a drive to help clear his head. Rafe had texted you at around midnight. He needed to get out of the house as everyone was driving him insane. You suggested going for a drive and getting some food.

Which was how you ended up in a secluded part of Lighthouse Grove. A look-out point, known mainly for hookups and drugs but an amazing view of the ocean. A night, the lights of boats looked like stars mixed in with the lights from the mainland bordering the horizon.

"No panties?" Rafe pulled away with a raised eye brow as his fingers brushed against your folds.

"No bra, either." You breathed with a small smirk. "Perks of having to throw a dress on, in the middle of the night."

"God, baby. You are fucking amazing" He moved to get a better angle before bumping his head on the roof "Ah, shit!"

You laughed a little before kissing his head as he buried it in your chest. "Oh, poor baby." You cooed as gently ran your nails over the base of his hair. "You ok?"

"Shit looks so much easier in the movies." He grumbled, kissing any exposed skin he could find on your chest, neck, and shoulders.

"We can stop?" You offered, but you really didn't want him to as his hot kisses started to form a small fire in your stomach, burning to your core.

"Did you want to stop?" Rafe sat up more carefully and looked you in the eyes.

He always made sure you were comfortable, and if you needed to stop, he would.

"No." You smiled at him and cupped his cheeks, running your thumb over his bottom lip. "Use me to distract your mind, baby."

"Fuck, I adore you" He stared at you, suddenly crushing your lips in a bruising kiss before trailing his lips along your jaw and neck.

His ringed finger pulled down your dress strap as his kissed right down to your nipple. Your breath hitched as his lips closed around you while his fingers moved between your folds, his thumb rubbing your clit in small circles.

Your eyes fluttered closed as your hands roamed his back and head, nails combing over the buzzed hair. Your hips bucked as he continued to tease you while you could feel him growing hard against your thigh.

"Look at me, baby." He said softly as the tips of his fingers teased your entrance.

You opened your eyes to meet his gorgeous blue ones. His smile turned to a smirk as he slipped two fingers into you, curling them.

"I'm going to make you cum all over this backseat, baby. You are going to keep those pretty eyes on me the whole time." He said, so intensely it made butterflies bloom in your stomach.

He mimicked your open mouth expression as he pumped his fingers slowly while his thumb worked your clit.

"Rafe, shit. Please, baby. I can't. " You whimpered as his hand held your thighs from squishing together.

You were close to tears as you felt at the edge again. Rafe expertly used his fingers as you tightened around them, but every time you were close, he stopped. Building your orgasm to a point, you thought you would explode.

"In a minute, pretty girl." He kissed your forehead. "I know you can do it. I know. "

You shook your head but looked him in the eyes, pleading as you arched your back, desperate for realise.

The car windows were completely steamed up. The air was so thick as you panted and whimpered.

"Doing so good, my beautiful, gorgeous girl," Rafe cooed before smiling. He seemed to know your body better than you. "Let go, baby. I got you. Let it go. "

You orgasm hit you like a rocket ship as you cried out. An explosion of stars, clouded your mind as Rafe helped you ride it though, drawing it out as much as he could.

"Fucking incredible" He breathed in awe as you had soaked his hand and the seat.

"Fuck" You sobbed, catching your breath as he kissed the tears away before kissing your cheeks and lips. He knew they were overstimulated tears.

"You're ok, babygirl." He whispered and pulled you into his lap as best he could while sitting in the back seat. "You did so amazing."

You slowly regained control of your emotions and sniffled, your head rested in the croak of his neck. His warm hand smoothed your back as he placed kisses on your temple.

"Do we have any soda left?" You asked, looking up at him as he chuckled.

"Yeah, baby." He reached over to the cup holders in the front and held the straw to your lips.

"You're going to have to get the car valeted." You murmured as your cheeks burned a little.

"Don't worry about that, right now" He smiled before smirking. "Maybe I'll keep whatever stain it leaves."

He laughed when you hit his shoulder before whispering in your ear. "Plus, we aren't done yet, pretty girl"

You could feel how painfully hard he was underneath you, creating a whole new spark of excitement in your stomach.

#rafe cameron #outer banks rafe #outerbanks #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #rafe cameron fanfiction #outerbanks fic #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron smut

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myonepiece · 3 years

Note

Hi!! OMG I love your romantic book quotes hcs so much!!!!!!! What a great idea! Could I request the same for Law and Kid?? And maybe Killer?

yes i love doing these!! 🖤

law, kid, killer as romantic book quotes

description: law, kid, and killer (separate) as romantic book quotes

"i'm in love with you, and i know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and i know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and i am in love with you."

-the fault in our stars by john green

"you have been the last dream of my soul."

-a tale of two cities by charles dickens

when law met you he felt a puzzle inside him fall into place, connecting effortlessly, he wasn't plagued by thoughts of what would happen, because you're there and you're okay. the last thing he thinks about. before sleeping is you, the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up is you, the first thing he thinks about after a battle is where you are- the last dream he had allowed himself to have, dreams, not exactly goals, was you. it may not have been you, an unclear image and a feeling that he remembered only when he saw you, a familiarity, relief, even when he didn't know you, he was glad to know you were there.

"it's like time has lost all continuity. every second with you outweighs days of life before i met you."

-the chemist by stephanie meyer

in general kid doesn't reminisce or think about the past- but when his s/o comes along it's like he's forgotten most of his past. he's focused on the future, with his s/o, what's going to happen to the two of them? it's like there was no past (besides forming his crew and meeting killer) before you came along, when you got together he started paying attention, to the little moments, the "insignificant" things, memorizing his time with you like it would be the only past he chooses to look back on.

"he's more myself than i am. whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

-wuthering heights by emily brontë

kid's s/o is like his other half, a mirror image of himself- both equally destructive, hot tempered, loyal, and in love. he finds a partner and companion, a soulmate and a bestfriend who becomes attached to his being, like he's half of a broken heart and they're the missing piece that fits perfectly.

"but our love it was stronger by far than the love of those who were older than we— of many far wiser than we—"

-annabel lee by edgar allan poe

the love that killer shares with his s/o is one that no oneelse can understand- not one of those "it's so powerful and deep you couldn't understand it" loves, but something far more mysterious and unknown, unheard of- they love each other with something can not be explained, even by themselves. i can only describe it as a love like the ocean itself.

"i loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be."

-great expectations by charles dickens

killer in love can throw all intelligence out the window, he can either be competent and think things through (sometimes overthink them) or he can throw caution to the wind as he can't seem to think straight when his s/o is around- it doesn't matter that he's a pirate, that he's dangerous, that his s/o is better off without him, he loves them and he'll be with them even when it's the most selfish, dangerous, reckless thing he could do.

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starvine · 3 years

Text

first date headcanons

attack on titan (modern au)

summary: some first date headcanons with some of the attack on titan characters.

warnings: none, just fluff :)

eren jaeger: movie

a little basic but it’s all eren could come up with

besides, it was between a movie and dinner and dinner felt too formal so y’all decided on a movie

he’d let you pick the movie tho

he might argue with you if it’s something stupid and claim that it’s horribly written (as if he knows a thing) but that’s it

eren would make sure to get the BEST snacks. spicy food? check. candy? check. popcorn? check. fruits? check.

he just wants to impress you (even if he did have to confide in his friends for some advice)

he just really likes you

during the movie, you guys would start shifting closer to each other, both a little too timid to move all the way all at once

but you guys would make commentary throughout the movie, laughing when things seem too cliché or when a character says something funny

half way throughout the movie, you guys aren’t even really paying attention it it

you’re too busy throwing popcorn at each other and trying to catch it in your mouths, feeding each other candy, and giggling at each other

it’s intimate in its own relaxed way, which makes eren realize how perfect you are

you both could make the most out of a pretty average first date situation and make it into a beyond amazing first date

and that was all he needed to ask you on a second date before he dropped you off at your car, walking with you to make sure you got there safely

and ngl you’d be a bit of a fool to say no to eren

armin arlert: aquarium

sweetheart is so nervous

before he came to your apartment to pick you up for your date, he was a little nervous wreck

he was fidgeting with his fingers, playing with the buttons on his shirt--he probably accidentally opened one by accident

but once he saw you, he felt fine

it was as if he physically melted, you just make everything okay

once you guys got to the aquarium, he would NOT shut up

he was probably pointing things out, telling you fun facts, asking you what is your favorite marine life

“oh, you like pufferfish? that’s cool! i like them too. they’re very... puffy.”

he’s like a child in a candy store

but while he’s rambling about how the digestive system of a sea cucumber basically cleans the ocean, he’s wondering how he should make a move

he doesn’t want to scare you off or anything, but he doesn’t want you to be disappointed

but while you guys are looking at one of those large fish tanks, the ones where you walk through a tunnel, you guys just sort of stand there and watch in awe

or rather armin watches in awe while you look at him, a soft smile gracing his pink lips as his eyes dart across the illustriously blue colored glass

and when he feels your pinky latch onto his, he’s a little shocked that you had made the first move

he didn’t not expect it per say, he just thought that he would be the one to make the first move

but his overthinking got in the way

and when he turns to look down at your intertwined pinkies, he caught you sending him a delicate smile that made his heart squeeze until he felt as if every part of him was on fire

but it was him who finally held your hand fully

he just needed you to give him the extra push

mikasa ackerman: book store

it’s a very calming atmosphere, which is something you’d both need for this first date

mikasa is probably pretty anxious for the first date, and wants to make sure you’re okay and enjoying yourself while also making sure she’s okay and enjoying herself

so the calming scent of the book store and the quietness is perfect for her to multitask between mediating the two

you’d both be tasked with picking each other books and then buying them for each other

so initially mikasa was nervous because she wasn’t sure what to get you but then you asked what she liked to read and so that allowed her to ask the same, making the situation less stressful

and all while you two are walking from isle to isle, eyes scanning the various book titles and covers, she sneaks glances at you and how pretty you look

and the fact that you seem very deep in thought, heavily concentrated on getting her the right book, makes her feel less concerned on whether or not you’d rather be with her or not

the answer is obviously a yes but mikasa has a hard time understanding that sometimes

so when you give her the book you bought for her, making sure to lightly touch her fingers while you hand it to her, she already knows that another date is what she wants you both to have or else she’ll probably explode

and based off of how flushed she looks, the possibility of her exploding is not highly unlikely

you guys will sit at this little table in the corner of the store, reading your books

i can picture mikasa annotating certain lines that remind her of you, making mental notes to show you later

overall, the date is pretty lowkey and very sweet

connie springer: dave + busters/bowling

ok there’s not much of an explanation for this one besides the point that if feels right

like connie is pretty energetic and i feel like you can learn a lot about a person based off of the games they’re drawn to

hence the arcade

i think connie really likes those racing games or the zombie shooting games

he also claims he’s really good at ski ball (he’s not, he’s trash)

so a good portion of the date consists of you just laughing at him the whole time cuz in all honestly he’s not the best at games but he enjoys them for the fun of them

he’d definitely cheer you on when you were playing or try to mess you up if it was you two against each other

but either way he’d give you a hug or a pat on the head after every game

even if u beat him

he’d probably try to sneak a kiss when you guys were in one of those shooting games that requires a booth and the curtains drawn (does that make sense?)

it’s not really romantic like at all, especially since it smells like a million different people in there, but it’s very low stress so in all honesty that’s what makes the kiss nice

and after you guys had used up all your tokens, you’d combine your tickets and pick something together

your prizes would mostly consist of candy and him insisting he get you a plastic gem ring so you can always remember your first date together

it was also his little, strange way of asking you for a second date

levi ackerman: art museum

unlike connie, he’s not super energetic

so a museum is right up his alley

levi’s a bit awkward, he doesn’t really know how to talk to you

and especially since you’re lovely, his words jumble together and he gets all flustered

so a nice, quiet museum exhibit is perfect for him

it’s a nice balance between casual and formal, so you both dress nice but aren’t restricted by the need to be super polite and stuff

he’d probably like it when you try to imitate the poses that are shown in the paintings or sculptures

just imagine the soft chuckle he’d be unable to prevent from escaping his lips which then melts into a soft smirk

beautiful, beautiful lad

he probably wouldn’t join you though, he doesn’t want to embarrass himself

he just smiles at you and stares at the art, reading the background info they give on those little plates near them

but he would notice when you stare at him

he could be looking at some art made during the dutch golden age, but as soon as your head slightly tilted in his direction, his cheeks would HEAT up

you almost asked him if he was feeling alright he was so red

but as the date went on, levi really just thought about how much he enjoyed your presence

and he’s not a wicked talkative guy so being able to feel comfortable with someone even if you aren’t talking or doing much is pretty important to him

as the date concludes, levi finally works up the courage to place his hand on your shoulder, asking if there was anything else you wanted to see before the museum closes for the day

his face might be bright red, but the smile you give him makes him feel a little less embarrassed

what can you say, you’ve got charm 💅

hange: the fucking zoo

ok i won’t lie when i got the idea of hange taking you to the zoo for your first date i thought it was so funny and idk why

like they’d be so excited that they’d nearly forget that they’re on a date with you

they’d drag you around from exhibit to exhibit, pointing out the exact breed of tortoise or some really strange fact about the zebras without looking at the little description panel in front of the exhibit

it’s pretty comical

but then randomly, when you guys are sitting down and eating some fries from one of the concession stands, they start going on a rant about animal cruelty and how a lot of zoos don’t treat the animals properly

and you’re just sitting there like “what 🧍‍♀️” cuz they’re mood changed so quickly LMAO

and as soon as their rant started, it finishes and they’re rushing you to the reptile exhibit

they’d probably try to figure out if they could hold one of the snakes

you’d have to drag them out of there before they start harassing one of the workers into letting them hold a snake

they’d also give all of the animals names only to forget them in 2 seconds

“hey, robert, it’s good to see you again!” “hange, i thought you named them dante?” “oh... did i? 😁”

however there’s probably like one animal they absolutely despise and idk why but i feel like it’s parrots

y’all would be walking through this rainforest exhibit, birds flying from tree to tree and the whole time they’re cursing the birds under their breath for no reason at all

just an angry person walking through a rainforest exhibit, cursing out birds

pretty normal if you ask me

however, the date itself is pretty casual and almost feels like you guys are just hanging out

or it would if they didn’t ask you out on another date before dropping you off at home, kissing your cheek as their farewell

pieck finger: café

very simple and quaint

i feel like pieck has a coffee addiction and always puts her in a better mood

so what better place to go on a date then a café?

she’s definitely an iced coffee drinker, and will occasionally go for a hot drink but usually iced coffee is her go-to

and if you get a coffee or tea that she also happens to like, you’re already practically golden in her eyes

since pieck has a very soothing and lowkey nature, i can see the date being much more just like a conversation with someone you’ve known for forever instead of interview-y which is something i’ve found coffee/lunch/dinner dates to be a bit like

but pieck knows how to keep things interesting and she’s a pretty calming person to be around so all is well

i also can’t see her getting super nervous before the date

she seems pretty calm unless in high-stress situations, but even then, she’s pretty level-headed

but since she’s so calm, it makes you wonder if she really cares for the date

and of COURSE she does, she’s so excited about it

it’s just the way pieck is

but as the date continues, she’d probably start to tease you by playing footsies under the table

you gotta keep the date interesting, you know?

you guys would talk about your interests, family, friends, shows you’re watching

literally just anything and everything that’ll allow you guys to get a feel for each other

and if all goes well she’ll definitely suggest another date ;)

also don’t expect to leave without her either writing something cute on your cup, pressing a lip-stick stained kiss to your cheek that matches the one surrounding the rim of her cup, or a promise that your game of footsies will continue next time you see each other

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the-piece-of-spadille · 3 years

Note

Hello! If you're still taking requests for the kiss prompts, can I request 14 for Kid please? Maybe after a tough fight with some other pirates, Kid can't find his crush and fears the worst, then is so relieved when they're fine that he just can't stop himself from kissing them desperately? (Also, do you write for all One Piece characters?)

Thank you so much for requesting! Kid is one of my favorites and I have such a soft spot for him. I’m not caught up in One Piece but I’m willing to try writing for anyone and if for whatever reason I can’t I’ll always let you know that way you don’t wait around and can ask somebody else to answer your request. Hope you enjoy!

________________________________________________________________

This morning on the Victoria Punk started out as any other typical morning. With you underneath the captain. Soft and beautiful moans contrast with harsh grunts in the captain’s quarters. Every crewmember knows better than to come knocking on Kid’s door so when Heat knocked and called out “Boss,” Kid continued thrusting and ignored him. Again, Heat knocked louder with urgency, and Kid not having it shouted, “I’m fucking busy.”

The door slammed opened with a loud crack by an angry Killer and you let out a yelp in surprise. Kid immediately covered your body with his, shielding you from eyes of the masked man. “Couldn’t you guys wait” you shout in anger. If Kid didn’t have to worry about exposing your body, he’d probably throw them overboard and leave the for the sea kings.

“There’s a ship tailing us. They’ll soon catch up to us, so put your damn clothes on and be ready to fight.” With that Killer slammed the door shut and left. Kid buries his face in your shoulder before huffing out in anger. Running your hand through his unruly red hair giving it a little tug “You heard him, we better get dressed before he comes back.”

Kid answers with a growl and gives you a quick kiss, biting your lip and pulls out. He eyes you over once more and gives you a devilish smile. “Stay in bed and don’t touch yourself.” Covering yourself up with a bed sheet, you enjoy the view of your captain struggling to get dressed into his pants, no doubt from his raging hard on. He hears your muffled giggle that you try to cover with your hand and glares at you. He flips you off and heads for the door. “Don’t keep me waiting long!” He stops and turns around with that smug smirk of his, “Wouldn’t dream of it doll.”

Fluffing one of the many pillows on the bed to get comfortable, you can hear loud yelling and swords clashing. It feels kind of wrong to be lying in bed naked while the rest of the crew is fighting on the ship. You hear footsteps just outside the door and expect Killer to yell at you to come join the fight, but a stranger storms inside the cabin. He clearly sees you caught off guard and races towards you with a sword. However, he wasn’t expecting you to pull out a gun from under your pillow. Quickly you take aim and pulled the trigger instantly putting an end to his life. His momentum causes him to fall onto the bed drenching the sheet and blankets in blood. Gross. Kicking the body off the bed and onto the floor with a thump, you deem the room unsafe and decide it’s best to get changed and head out onto the upper deck to lend a hand.

Kid heard the gunshot come from the direction of his cabin and his blood runs cold. Something happened and he couldn’t see his cabin from his position. The enemy pirates took notice of his distracted state and surrounded him, but Killer was quick to jump in and intervene before they could make an attack. “She’s fine” knowing what he must be thinking. “As soon as we clear these guys off the ship you can go find her.”

Wanting to slaughter the enemy pirates, Kid summons all the surrounding metal to form a giant arm and swings it. Most die from the impact and those that did not got thrown into the ocean. He repels the remaining metal from his arm into their ship, causing it to slowly sink into the depths of the sea. A part of him feels like they got off to easy but wastes no more time heading to his quarters.

Kid doesn’t bother opening the door and smashes it to pieces. His eyes searching for you, but he doesn’t see you. That’s when he spots all the blood. “…no, … no, no” His heart beating rapidly while he tugs at the fallen strands of his hair. His brain tells him it’s not true, that he’s overthinking but he can’t deny what’s in front of him. There’s no body, but it was evident there was one laying in the bed from the pooled blood on the bedding. Right where he told you to stay.

He’s trying his best not to panic but it feels as if his heart is going to leap out of his chest any second now. Refusing to believe anything until he actually sees your body, he calls out your name and it comes out hoarse and quiet and not at all like his normal voice. How could you be gone? Where was your body? Kid tugs at his hair hard as his eyes brim with tears. He’s dreamt horrible nightmares of you meeting a cruel end. You were just in his arms this morning. You can’t be gone but he can’t stop looking at the blood that covers his bed.

The wooden floor creaks behind him but he doesn’t budge. He doesn’t have the means to turn and yell at whoever is there watching him live his greatest fear. Emotions be damned. A gentle hand was placed over his and slowly pulled his hand away from his hair.

“Kid, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Whipping his head around at your voice, Kid immediately grabs you roughly and squeezes a little too hard with his mechanical hand and abruptly smashes his lips on yours. You stagger back not expecting him to suddenly kiss you with such force, and he’s quick pulls you flushed against himself. Both of his hands running over your body while he continues to kiss you feverishly. You kiss him back of course but you know something is wrong. He looked so defeated when you walked inside and when he turned around you swore you caught a glimpse of tears in his eyes.

You know you need to figure out what happened, so you brace your hands on his chest and give him a light push. He pulls his lips away slowly and takes in a shaky breath before turning his face away from your sight. “Talk to me please” you coax, rubbing his arm. Clearing his throat and still not letting you look at his face “I... I thought that” he stops, not able to bring himself to say it. Kid wipes at his face and starts again. “I heard a shot. Then I saw that” pointing over to the mess on the bed, “and didn’t see you.”

Realization hit like a stab to the gut of what the scene looked like to him. “Oh, Kid I’m so sorry. I didn’t think about you finding that.” Cupping his face, wiping away a stay tear and giving him a tender kiss, you explain what happened and how you thought it’d be best to leave the room to go help fight. He gives you a quick look over just to make sure you’re not harmed and picks you up by your waist. You wrap your legs around his middle while he just holds you, tucking his face in your neck.

“There’s still the body on the other side of the bed that we need to get rid of.”

#eustass kid #Eustass Kidd #eustasscaptainkid #eustass kid x reader #kidd x reader #one piece #one piece kid #one piece x reader #kid one piece #one piece writing #one piece prompt #one piece imagine #eustass kid imagine #The kid pirates #kid pirates #kid pirates x reader

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ptersparkers · 4 years

Text

the tap of your fingertips

summary: all of jj’s internal thoughts.

warnings: none, i think and typos, probably.

notes: i tried to write differently and use inly a stream of consciousness. i hope you like it!

You think he doesn’t look. He does.

He feels every tap of your fingertips, hum of your voice, and breath when you enter the Chateau every morning with a blue water bottle. He thinks you’re beautiful without even trying. Five years of friendship never prepared him for seeing you in another light and it’s no secret that his feelings for you have switched. It’s not a secret to everyone but you.

JJ tries to keep his cool. He really does. It’s subtle movements that he cherishes in his mind when he falls asleep on John B’s couch every night. He replays the time he held your hand to help you into the boat that morning. Your hands were soft, unlike his callous ones. He could grow to like holding your hand.

He sleeps in comfort when you’re his last thought. JJ was never one to believe in lucid dreaming, but when the time is right, he could dream up a fantasy where he wasn’t afraid to proclaim his love for you. It was a distant wish that he wanted to come true. He wished for it when his eyes opened to the moment his eyes closed.

But delicate glances weren’t satisfying him anymore. He wanted to grab your exposed hip and hold you flush against him. Every time you placed the shiny lip gloss that smelled like sweet apples, JJ felt like the universe was torturing him with a sweet slow burn. You always smelled like sweet apples.

You decided to cut your hair short out of sheer boredom and you looked more mature, more refined. You were not what a Pogue looked like with that haircut. JJ liked that. He knew his opinion on your appearance didn’t matter but he wanted to say it anyway. So he did. You smiled and reached for an apple that Kiara had brought that morning. You and those damn apples.

There is a shift in the mood whenever JJ isn’t distracted by the other Pogues. He can feel his heart begin to beat faster when the mood has calmed down. It was almost always sparked by the sun beginning to set. He knew the night sky and the darkness of the calamity would force him to be alone with his own thoughts, unable to escape the impending doom of what he should do about his feelings. But he always put it off until the second he was about to sleep. That‘s his trick if he wanted to dream about you.

He often dreams about a big city where nobody cared about him. He dreams of a small apartment with you laying in your shared bed, the smell of fresh parsley cooking in the pan as he prepared two omelets with cheese and other ingredients laying around in your pantry. He dreams of a fresh pot of black coffee and a ceramic mug you had brought home the week you moved into the space. Your shared space. JJ dreams of waking you up with a tender kiss, feeling your warm breath on his chin as his lips touch the soft skin of your forehead. JJ will never admit it, but he craves the domesticity of relationships in which he was able to feel completely and utterly calm.

JJ likes it best when you wear his shirts after a swimming session. You were almost always too stubborn to wear your own and preferred the bigger size that he sported, not that he would ever complain. It was a cliche, that much he knew. But he never failed to smile when you stole the semi-dirty shirt from the boat when you emerged from the water, letting yourself air dry before slipping on the soft fabric. He was almost positive his entire wardrobe smelled like you.

Just when he thinks he has no real aspirations and dreams to fight for, you are the first to ease his mind about the future. The Outer Banks is a small island compared to the rest of the world. Getting out doesn’t just mean leaving the island physically. It means being mentally prepared to handle whatever life decides to throw at you once you step off of the land you grew to know so well. JJ’s always trying to think positively. He’s always trying to think of what you would say when he felt like the biggest failure on the island.

He didn’t know when he let you consume his mind but he wasn’t going to complain about it. The hot summer morning and cool summer nights were enough to spark imagination from him, one that would make it on his bucket list of things he wanted to accomplish before he left this godforsaken island. One of them was tell you he likes you. But he had time for that. He always tries to reason with himself.

JJ masks his anger and frustration with humor and comedy as a coping mechanism that helps him deal with the trauma he endures. His love for his friends outshines his own aspirations and he’s afraid that one day, he’ll find himself all alone after giving his all to the people he loved to much. He’s afraid of finding himself alone on the island while the Pogues have a grand time on different corners of the same planet. JJ thinks about his capacity for emotion and wonders when his next break down will be. He just hopes you’re not there to witness it.

It’s funny. He always thought about the classist society that exists between the Kooks and the Pogues. JJ is aware that this problem exists way beyond the small North Carolinian island, but he pretends it’s only his problem because it’s easier than dealing with the fact that leaving the island might be the worst decision he could make. If the world outside was like this then he won’t be able to protect himself. Here, at least, he knew how to fight stupid Kooks.

He’s scared that you’re not going to be there with him when he’s ready to leave. He says he is ready, and he’s hot headed with the tendency to act before thinking, but this is the only thing he wants to think through. Leaving the island with no money and nowhere to go means being stuck in square one. It means living as a Pogue in the world beyond the Outer Banks. It would be the same experience on a different playing field. But you always remind him that the opportunities beyond the gates of a small town are greater than his fears.

JJ’s starting to think he began to like you because you gave him hope. Not the kind of hope that resembles an empty promise, but the kind of hope that lifts his spirits and motivates him to get up every morning and seize the day. You are the sun in his dimly lit world and he’s afraid he will lose your sunshine.

The cheesiness of romantic comedies and John B. teasing him all day for being “soft” (whatever that means) is a combination of how JJ feels inside. He no longer feels to strengthen the hard exterior he spent years building when he was with you. JJ let his armor fall. It was always you and him in an isolated room with twin fire signs. He couldn’t hear loud ocean waves or thundering lightening. It was always calm with you.

With you, his slate was clean. He could build himself up without knocking himself down. The building blocks he needed were in your hands and all he had to do was grab them from you. JJ knew you were willing to give that to him. You were willing to share a piece of your soul so that his could be fixed. But he would never want you to break a piece of yourself in order for him to make himself whole.

JJ was pining after you like a little boy on the playground. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, touch you. He wanted you to pull him aside and admit these same feelings but never voiced this out loud. His armor had fallen around you but his walls were sturdy and high in front of everyone else.

He wasn’t sure if you knew. JJ was hyper aware of the times you’d choose to sit next to him or accompany him to fix the keg before parties. He was always aware of your head resting on his shoulder and when you would play with his rings absentmindedly. His hands always felt like they were on fire. But he welcomed that warmth.

And so he stood by the sidelines most afternoons and watched as you and John B. grew closer and closer. There were no romantics feelings involved, just the sheer fact that you two had known each other longer than he had known you. But that didn’t stop the blond boy from overthinking. Before he discovered his romantic feelings for you, every move felt like a provoking gesture. He never paid any mind to John B. pressing a quick kiss to your temple when you left the house. But now he did. Now it was personal. It was irrational. John B. was dating Sarah and you were like a sister to him. He knew that. It still felt weird.

But one evening changed everything. It was just the first of you in the Chateau and you were beyond tired. JJ could see the tiredness in your eyes due to the high-packed day the group had. He asked you to change into comfortable PJ’s before you slept in sweaty clothes and you obliged without a word.

He was used to seeing you without any makeup on and not as put together as when you were. But there was something about you that night.

JJ stepped forward.

You stepped closer.

He put his hands on your hips.

You looked up at him. He could smell the apple scented shampoo from your hair. The one you kept in John B’s bathroom.

There were no fireworks, nor music nor cheerful friends in the window.

There was just you two.

He slowly dipped his head and touched your lips with his, but just barely.

One. Two. Three.

That was the number of seconds it took for you to kiss him back.

You pressed your chest against his.

He dug his fingertips into your hipbone.

You felt his soft lips. He felt yours.

It was slow. Subtle. Sweet.

All JJ could think about was you and your apple flavored lip gloss, and how he wanted to taste it. But by the looks of it, he’d be tasting your apple flavored lip gloss more often.

***

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hiitsbee · 3 years

Text

From me to you | C.D.

Cedric Diggory x Reader

Warning:references to death

Masterlist

Summary:After Cedric’s death you find a letter left on your bed.

The chaos exploded around you:people jumped on their feet,shaking their hands in the air to celebrate the boys who had just came out from the labyrinth. You woke up too,trying to see who the winner of the Triwizard tournament was but while everyone was celebrating you soon realised that something was wrong.

Harry seemed to be almost a little dot from your seat but you immediately realised he was holding Cedric in a too weird way,and the Hufflepuff wasn’t even moving. You woke up,trying to walk down the field seats when Fleur’s scream froze the air. The students suddenly became silent as McGonagall turned around asking everyone to stay in their seats.

Your hands were shaking at the thought of what could had just happened and,soon,all your fears turned into reality. <<That’s my son!>> Cedric’s father yelled with tears falling down from his eyes. Your stomach suddenly twisted itself,throwing up its acid while you felt your throat being tied in a tight knot. Your usually bright eyes lost their lights and begun to burn like fire while your cheeks suddenly turned into slides for sealed tears. Even your legs couldn’t make you stand properly as you leaned your body against Pansy Parkinson’s who was standing right beside you

None of you ever got along well with the other,but in that moment all she could do was holding you. A hand of hers rested on your back while the other on your tummy as your eyes met:Pansy was crying too,her breath was short and heavy. You stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds and then you pulled away,running.

You made your way in between the students,hitting Ron who looked at you with the saddest stare you had ever seen in the last years. You even bumped into George and Fred,almost falling as the second one caught you right in time <<Y/n>> he tried to speak but you pushed him and kept running,crossing also Cho Chang’s way. You saw her on her knees,desperately sobbing with Luna right next to her,looking extremely hurt.

Once you made it out with not a single professor seeing you leaving you locked yourself in your bedroom.

Your back slipped along the cold wood of the door. The air was silent,not a single noise could be heard expect the ones from your sobs.

You curled up yourself,hugging your legs you had brought against your chest and hiding your face in the cloth of your uniform skirt.

Your breath was short,you were almost gasping for air while Cedric’s memories crossed your mind like movie scenes. His smile,his pinky cheeks,his hand holding yours. Everything was now just an image stuck in your mind which made your heart emotional.

<<Y/n!>> Cedric greeted you with a soft smile,wrapping your body in a tight hug. His hands caressed your back slowly as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. His scent filled your nostril. Fresh grass and hot thea:it was the boy’s scent which reminded you of home.

You shaked your head,waking up and walking towards your bed. You sat on it and rested your head on your pillow,sliding the hands underneath it. You realised that someone left a sheet of paper under the pillow.

You sat,holding what looked like a letter and read it.

To:Y/n

From:Cedric (Ced) Diggory

Dear Y/n,

As a child mum used to tell me to write down the feelings I couldn’t control to focus on them and on how contain the little flames they sent to my heart.The recipient of my letters used to be a so called “Jace”,he was my imaginary friend. A queit type,I remember describing him like that. But today I’m not writing to him,actually I don’t even know who I’m writing to. I’m not a child anymore,but I don’t even feel to be an adult. I’m in the middle of the thin strand of my life and I’m trying to not fall in the ocean under me. The funny part of what’s going on? I’m writing this letter the night after the first task of the Triwizard Tournament:the most dangerous competition of the entire Wizarding World which I have,obviously,taken part to. A paradox,you see. I regret it. I do. I put my name in the Goblet of fire during a moment of overstatement of myself. I was feeling confident,strong,powerful,I was feeling like someone my friends would look up to...I was feeling like an adult. But I’m not. I’m just a seventeen year old boy who has just realised he wants to live the life of a seventeen year old boy. Not the life of an adult,nor of a hero,or of a fighter.

Is it too late to understand what I put myself into? I do think so,but I can’t go back in time. The concern has begun to grow,the fear has begun to take control and I’m overthinking everything. During the night I lay down and I ask myself if after the tournament I’ll be a different person. Will I keep doing everything in the same way? Will I keep seeing everything in the same way? Then,when I’m finally falling asleep the scariest question starts floating in my mind:will I be able to spend the rest of my life with the people I love? Or will I become a ghost? Someone has just popped in my mind. Someone with a beautiful smile,a girl,with a beautiful smile.

I walk her to class everyday just to see it. She’s the prettiest girl on earth,the strongest,she taught me that every scar is a sign of victory. Her name’s Y/n. Such a sweet name. Such a sweet voice. She always greets me with a soft “Hi” and she calls me “Ced”. Once I asked her why:she said that “Ced” suits me better than “Cedric” because it sounds cuter. I don’t really know if she was just fooling me or if she was telling the truth,but I loved the way she talked to me. Y/n’s my best friend,maybe something more for me. I don’t know if she has the same feelings. I think she’s my soulmate. Not in a foolish way,like what you see in random movies. A real soulmate:the piece which complete you perfectly,the piece of the puzzle which complete the whole picture. I’m not saying this just because we think and act almost in the same way,I’m saying this because when I look at her I’m SURE she’s understanding my feelings,I’m SURE she knows what’s going on in my head,so she speaks and says the right thing at the right moment of the right day.I’m so grateful for Y/n. She’s the only person I’d love to spend the rest of my life with. I’d love to wake up in the morning and see her pretty smile,I’d love to look into her eyes and see the same,deep,clear ocean everyday. I want to hug her and protect her from the worst things of this world,from the cruel life,from the pain. I want to run with her in a field of daisies and butterflies. This is what I fear now:losing her,hurting her. What if she will lose me and it will be my own fault? As I said before I put my name in the Goblet of fire in a moment of overstatement of myself but when I saw all my friends cheering for me I didn’t want to disappoint them,but in not trying to disappoint the whole chorus I disappointed the most important voice. Y/n didn’t want me to take part to the tournament. She told me it was too dangerous,that I would regret everything. And she was right. I’m an hypocrite:I ignored her and now I’m here feeling sorry for hurting her feelings and scared for what my future is going to be. Such a trouble maker. An idiot,that’s better maybe,and as an idiot I should burn this letter in the fireplace,but I’m not. I’m sending this to Y/n.

Dear Y/n,now I’m talking directly to you,I’m not just writing random feelings down anymore. I don’t know how I’ll sent this letter to you,maybe through an howl or maybe I’ll just ask Harry,but please read it until the end. You deserve to read my previous words and the following:I love you. I love you with my whole hurt and I apologise for being too impulsive,I apologise if I’ll hurt you,if you’ll cry sour tears for me,I apologise for not listening to the most important person of my life just not to disappoint someone else.I really do. I hope you’ll find this letter and you’ll bring it to me to slap me in the face,telling me that I’m an idiot and then laugh together at how much dramatic I’m being,but if it won’t happen,please,know that I will always be by your side. No matter what. So please,I’m begging you:forgive me. Forgive me for the happy ending we won’t get. Keep on with your life,find someone that will love you and listen to you in the right way. Find someone you’ll hug with the same love you hugged me,find someone you’ll talk to with the same sweetness you talked to me,find someone who won’t throw everything away and regret it when it’s too late and make them dream as much as I dreamed about you and all your little things. You’re the only one who made me feel alive. Thank you.

Be happy,Y/n.

Forever yours,

Cedric (Ced) x.

#cedric diggory #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory oneshot #cedric imagine #cedric diggory x you #cedric diggory x slytherin!reader #cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory x fem!reader #cedric x y/n #cedric diggory x y/n #cedric x reader #cedric x you #harry potter #harrypotterworld #harry potter oneshot #wizarding world

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admiringlove · 3 years

Text

愛してる: 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏.

— we invite you to celebrate the brewery’s first valentines’ day, with freshly brewed sweet drinks, to honor the day dedicated to love. click for valentines’ day special menu!

↳ 青葉城西高校 — seijoh. presenting: oikawa tōru, iwaizumi hajime, mattsukawa issei.

credits for image @ roarzoro on twitter.

oikawa tōru

oikawa tōru is the sun. he is the center of all beings, and he feels as if the world revolves around him. the fangirls are the planets, circling him whenever they see him. the whole school knows oikawa, because he is the core of attention at any given time.

but you? you don't seem interested in the sun one bit. you like the ocean instead—finding the vast depths of the sea more intriguing than the deep, blue sky.

and what does oikawa want? the one thing he can't have. you.

you start noticing him more. he greets you every morning(the fangirls stare at you creepily, but you just ignore them), talks to you during lunch, and even sometimes asks you to come watch his volleyball practice.

but his expression just becomes distasteful when you decline him. why was oikawa interested in you? he had hoards of boys and girls who yearned for him more than anything else, so why you?

you notice him more—honestly, you don't mind him flying around you mindlessly like a bee. it just annoys you at how attractive he is. you don't know what his intentions are(after all, they can be ill), and you're scared.

but he doesn't give you a reason to be today.

"oikawa," you huff, "stop following me, you creep."

"b-but [y/n]-chan!!" he pouts, shoving his hands inside his pockets as he catches up to you. you roll your eyes, grunting as you say, "that was the fakest stutter ever. why do all those people in our school like your dumbass, anyway, trashykawa?"

"you sound just like iwa-chan," he murmurs under his breath as you turn a sharp right, walking into a coffee shop to do your homework. he smiles victoriously when you choose a two-seat table instead of the barstool that was free, sitting in front of you almost immediately.

"well, iwa and i share a very mutual hate for you," you joke as you give your order to the waiter who comes by. oikawa winks at the girl, giving her his order as well, "one milk-bread and chocolate milkshake please."

"and may i ask why you followed me into a coffee shop you've never been to before?" you questioned, pulling out your physics textbook as he smiles at you saying, "i like being around you, [y/n]-chan. you just never talk to me about anything."

"fine, what do you want to talk about?"

"you," he smirks, "tell me about yourself, for real this time. no jokes."

you sigh, placing your pencil down to look at his face for the first time today. this time, you actually pay attention to his features. his soft chocolate brown eyes, his slender long nose, and those pink lips. you shook yourself off when he said, "hobbies, [y/n]-chan?"

"reading," you mumble, "i like reading."

the waiter comes back with your coffee and his drink and snack, placing it in front of you as oikawa thanks her. he turns back to you, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"remind me to write down 'library date' the next time we go out," he says, leaning his elbow on the table and placing his knuckles on his cheek. you scoff, "you follow me around and call it a date. you're basically a stalker, trashykawa."

"okay, okay, fine! what if i ask you out on an actual date? we can talk about books, maybe get coffee, and- ooh! what about the movies? we can even go to tokyo if you'd like! it's not that far by train, you know," he daydreams. you scoff for the second time in that coffee shop, your eyes narrowed as you ask, "and what makes you think you can ask me out on an actual date?"

"if you haven't noticed, [y/n]-chan," oikawa shrugs, taking a sip of his chocolate milk, "i like you very much. and not as friends, god no, i wanna take you out and make you happy."

iwaizumi hajime

iwaizumi is closed off—according to oikawa, but you don't believe that one bit.

"oh come on, [y/n]-chan, he likes you, i swear!"

but you know better than to assume things about hajime, so you shrug oikawa off, leaving the gym to go home. you see hajime waiting for you, and you wave at him happily. he smiles, bringing a hand up awkwardly, but he puts it down as soon as he hears oikawa's voice behind you.

"iwa-chan!! guess what, [y/n]-chan's walking home with us tonight!"

hajime sighs, looking away(because this boy is as clueless as you). he shrugs, telling you two that he has something to attend to. but you know that he's probably going to overthink when he's by himself.

you and oikawa share a knowing look, as he says, "tell me everything through text when you reach home."

"haji!" you yell, running up to the boy walking ahead. his hands are stuffed into his track pants, and he turns back half-way. he gives you a half-smile, slowing his pace(but not stopping).

"haji, stop!" you grab his wrist, turning him around. he's raising an eyebrow at you, looking at you impatiently as you say, "why're you going home alone, iwa? do you not want to come with me and stupidkawa?"

"i told you to go with him, didn't i? why are you followin' me around?" he scoffs, looking away and continuing walking at his normal pace. you furrow your eyebrows, your lips slightly parted as you say, "hey, what is that supposed to mean?"

"you're always circling around him. can't you go home with him too?" he grunts. you blink rapidly, the information processing in your head as you begin to laugh.

iwaizumi looks back, his eyes narrowed and lips twisted into a scowl, "why are you laughing like a maniac?"

"because, you dumbass, you think i like that loser," you huff, walking up to him as you pant(your stomach is hurting from laughing at this point). you ruffle the ace's hair, chuckling, "i can't believe you haven't figured it out already. everyone thought i was being obvious."

"if you're implying what i think you are, i feel the same way, you know."

"is that why you were jealous of trashykawa?"

"aight, we're never talking about that ever again."

mattsukawa issei

mattsun isn't really that... interested in things. he picks something up, fiddles with it for sometime, and then throws it away.

but with his love life, everything is different. he rarely ever dates. and it's never too serious. so when his feelings for you start waltzing in, it's a first.

he hasn't felt this kind of high before. it's scary, because mattsukawa issei has never yearned for someone as much as he yearns for you. his eyes are always looking for you. and when they do land on you, an instant smile creeps onto his face.

oikawa and hanamaki always tease him, but he's learned to push past that at this point. he's brushing them off constantly, learning to ignore the "eyy" that makki lets out whenever you walk into the room.

mattsun learns to love you bit by bit. his love is the awkward stares, the panic rising in his throat as he feels that he's been smiling for way too long, the shaking his thoughts off when you snap your fingers in front of his face, or the coincidental nightly trips that he always finds himself looking forward to.

the same thing happens tonight as well.

"why do i always find you outside this convenience store at 10 pm on a saturday night?" mattsukawa chuckles, sitting down next to you on the curb. you take a spoonful of the ice-cream you're eating, and you throw him a smile, "i have a routine. you show up around the same time too, so you can't exactly ask me that question, issei."

"i know," he sits down, opening the soda bottle and gulping down its contents rather quickly.

"woah, calm down or you'll choke," you chuckle, throwing your small ice-cream cup into the trash a couple feet away. you triumphantly smile when the cup falls into the can, and turn back to face issei.

issei, who's only a couple of inches away from your face. issei, who's been in love with you ever since he can recall. issei, whom you love back with just as much intensity—if not, more.

"issei, i'm gonna do something. please don't hate me, okay?" you whisper. he nods, smiling, as he begins, "i could never hate you, baby."

you lean in, pressing your lips on his softly as he kisses you back. he's scared too, that's why he isn't holding onto you tightly or is placing too much pressure into it.

and just like that, the night of february thirteenth forever becomes embedded into your lives.

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thegracelessfaceless · 3 years

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Hi love bug! Thank you so much in advance. Seeing your stuff in my ask box always makes me super happy.

So, I’m Elsie, she/her/hers, and bi (but I lean heavily towards men rn). I’m a Virgo sun, Scorpio rising and Aquarius moon. I’m also an introvert, but I love being around other people! I just get,,,,, tired easily.

I’m East Asian + Southeast Asian (Chinese and Vietnamese). I’m barely 5’0 tall! Long, black hair that reached my upper thighs and dark brown eyes that you can’t even see the pupil lmfao. I always have painted nails, usually red. I’m pretty athletic and I also like to think I have nice thighs—most of my workouts include building up my legs lol. I wear big gold hoop earrings. I also wear round Harry Potter glasses. My body isn’t very curvy, in fact I’m pretty flat but I am COVERED in stretch marks. I also have acne flare ups from time to time but it’s usually nothing noticeable anymore.

I’d like to think I’m a pretty chill person, likes to go with the flow and stuff like that. My friends say I’m often their therapist or their mom, which is kinda funny because that’s what I’m in uni for, to be a therapist. I’m a pretty determined and motivated person? I like to push myself pretty hard ngl but I also like to just hang out and take it slow. I also like to do stupid things like exploring abandoned buildings at 2am. I’m also big into intersectional feminism. I’ve also been told I’m really approachable and friendly, but bro I am so shy and quiet in public unless I get to know you.

I can get pretty stubborn tbh, it depends once again on what the topic is but once I’ve set my mind to it, that’s how it’s going to be. I also have low self esteem and my depression sometimes makes it hard for me to even get out of bed at times. I usually don’t know when to stop giving myself to other people, which means I get pretty exhausted and fast. I’m also prone to overthinking which stresses me out. And when I’m stressed, I can honestly get a little bitey.

I apologize to inanimate objects if I’ve bumped into them, and I also have a tendency to talk to myself? I also am a witch! I’m currently elbows deep in some deity work and ngl my energy is all over the place. I also have a weird habit of waving to security cameras I see in public because I like to think the people watching those cameras get a kick out of it lol.

I really like coffee, tea, singing with my ukulele, playing piano, drawing and art in general. I haven’t been able to draw as much as I’d like recently but I do have some animatics in my head. I also really like Victoria’s Secret perfumes, specifically strawberry pound cake—it’s what I always smell like lol. Crystals are super fun imo. I live next to a huge lake and it’s honestly one of my favorite places to be. Ocean animals are my favorite! I also really like car rides with like, one other person and just exploring the world and talking. The music I listen to is a lot of classic rap, lofi-hip hop, modern rap, some pop artists and Ella Fitzgerald, Gloria Gaynor, HaroinFather, KYLE, and ofc Hollywood Undead.

I cannot stand centipedes those things horrify me. I also don’t like rude people, bigots, people who purposely start drama or hypocrites. People who put other people down aren’t cool either. I don’t really like parties or being around lots of people, they make me anxious and kinda suffocated. People who try to force me to do stuff aren’t cool in my books either. I also think red meat is kinda gross, but that’s just because it makes me exhausted.

Eeeee I am so sorry if this is too much, but thank you so much in advance. Nothing but love to you, and all your future writing and everything you’ve done so far. 💕

Heyy! I almost hit the roof when your follow came in 😅.

So I told myself that Brian and Hoody are disqualified because of obvious bias, but, damn you make it hard!

So, Brian aside, I match you with...

The Puppeteer/Jonathan Blake

I know, I know, odd choice right?

But you came under his attention, and just when he thought you were getting ready to bend to his will, you'd rally. He found it... Refreshing that you keep fighting, no matter how low you feel.

Of course, he had to be persistent in gaining your trust. You weren't falling for his smooth talking ways. He tried not to use any information gained from his psychic gifts... but if they helped him know something you've really been wanting or something that's bothering him, that's a different story. It took him years to gain your trust and that was only after he slipped and let some of his old self, from before he became The Puppeteer, out. You seemed to prefer that side of him, so he revealed it more frequently.

Jonathan is an introvert too, and like you, being around other people can tire him out. He prefers nights in or long car rides with you with some good but soft music playing.

Jonathan finds it ironic that you want to be a therapist while his main method of feeding is by intensifying depression symptoms. In ways, you've softened him. He'll spare those who seem to have the drive to live. But he views it as a friendly competition of sorts. Like a married couple of lawyers, but one works for the prosecution and the other works for the defense. How many souls can you save verses how many he can take?

Jonathan will listen to every crystal fact you have, and want to know more about your witchiness. He's like a sponge. Throw information at him and he's soaking it up.

Let's gloss over the fact that he can control golden threads from his fingers. I'm sure it'll come up in #just chatting.

Jonathan is a caffeine addict, that and cigarettes are what fueled him when he first went to college. He loves drawing with you over a hot cup of coffee.

Eat what you want, Jonathan doesn't really care. He might take a bite of something every now and then, but he doesn't really need it. This makes it so he finds your scent... Intoxicating.

#creepypasta #creepypasta matchups #the puppeteer #the puppeteer x reader

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amerrierworld · 3 years

Text

Supposed To Be

Ocean’s 8 fanfiction

request: the reader finds out what Tammy does at party with the girls and maybe gets angry at Tammy for not telling her and lying to her. Then hets angry at everyone else and they all fell guilty. And maybe tammy says something that’s losses the reader of more. Then the reader walking out. The next morning the reader is ignoring all the texts and calls from Tammy and the girls. Tammy going over to talk to her...

Summary: Tammy is planning something for you with the team, but can’t let you know about it.

Characters: Tammy x fem!reader, the Ocean’s girls, (divorced!Tammy)

Word Count: 2,550

Warnings: Angst angst angst angst angst angst!!!!!! Miscommunication!! Hurt & comfort! Eventual happy ending :)

You first started feeling uneasy when Tammy’s text responses went from excited paragraphs and emojis to one-word answers. It was such a simple thing, but you barely got to see her in person some weeks, and this was the only thing that kept you connected.

After an inevitable divorce, Tammy moved to the city to be closer with the entire group, sharing custody of her children every other week. It had been stressful, but you had been there for her every step of the way, and a fruitful, happy romance had blossomed.

But now, even after all those months, there was a sudden barrier you couldn’t seem to get through. Her phone calls were hasty, her texts short, and no one else in the group seemed concerned like you were. You got no updates on her kids, which usually she couldn’t stop taking about. Frankly, it felt like she had gotten tired of you.

So, you shut your phone off and went out for the rest of the day, window-shopping and wandering around the city to get your fuming mind off of things.

On the other side of the city, in Lou’s spacious loft, Tammy had gathered the other ladies, vigorously typing lists on her phone as she paced back and forth.

“Really, Tam, you’re overthinking this! Why do you feel the need to go through all this?” Lou sighed, swirling her glass of rye.

“Because it has to be just right,” Tammy snapped back.

Everyone knew how detail-oriented and perfectionist Tammy was. It was a life-saver for criminal activity and ensured safety for the gang to get through undetected. But sometimes, in ordinary life, it was a bit overkill.

“I really don’t think Y/N needs all this, babe,” Nineball added, lounging in a large, velvety bean bag and a joint between her lips. “Lou’s right, you’re overthinking it.”

“Listen, she’s my girlfriend, and this is my plan. Can you please just be a little bit supportive of this?” Tammy threw her hands up, exasperated.

“Her birthday isn’t for another month,” Debbie pointed out.

“Exactly, I’m already running behind!”

The remaining seven shared a few bemused glances before Daphne handed Tammy a glass of wine to calm down. Debbie sighed, pulled up a chair and reached for the snack bowl.

“Alright, what’s the plan, TamTam?”

You still had one of Lou’s door keys from the last heist, and figured it was the best time to return it. It was starting to get late, and it was a bit of a walk, but you didn’t mind. The fresh air did good for your nerves and bad mood.

You hadn’t seen Lou in ages either, so you figured a quick catch-up was needed too. Not even thinking, you used the key to let yourself in, washed over by warm light coming from inside, and-

Laughter? Music?

You froze. The first person you saw, of course, was Tammy. Your eyes were drawn to her in any room, always. She was laughing, nursing a drink in her hand, chatting with Lou and Debbie, who looked equally as pleased.

There was popcorn popping in the microwave, and the TV was showing a movie. Your heart sank little by little, as you realized that yes, they really had gotten tired of you. You didn’t register the pile of paper and notes on the coffee table, at all.

Lou saw you first, and went a little pale. She registered the keys in your hands were hers, and it clicked in her brain why you were there. She nudged Debbie, who immediately turned off the music, as if they’d been caught doing something illegal.

Then Tammy turned her head and saw you, her beautiful smile fading away instantly. Her mouth hung open a little, as if she didn’t know what to make of you standing there, in the flesh.

Suddenly your confusion melted into anger, and your heart broke little by little as they stood there, staring at you, not even bothering to say anything.

You tossed the keys to the floor, turned around, and slammed the front door shut.

No one was moving. Tammy’s brain was lagging, still trying to register why you looked so distraught, so betrayed. The rest of the group eyed her shyly. Constance had a mouth full of popcorn that she was afraid to chew down on because of how loud it would be in the silence.

“You fucking idiot,” Rose was the first to speak up- Tammy was shocked to hear her swear. “What’re you doing jus’ standing there? Get out and go after her!”

“Yeah,” Amita said, “she didn’t look too happy when seeing all of us.”

“Did you tell her where you would be today, Tam?” Debbie questioned her, looking her squarely in the eye. Tammy bit her lip, and shook her head. Cue a collective frustrated groan.

“Tammy, we love you, but you can be so stupid sometimes,” Lou said, grabbing her glass from her. “Go on!”

Tammy nearly stumbled over her heels as she hurried after you, fearing she wouldn’t be able to find you in the dark.

“Y/N?” she called out, frantically looking out as the door closed behind her. She spun around, looking left and right. “Y/N!”

“Stop yelling,” you snapped. She turned and saw you leaning against a streetlamp, face washed in eerie light.

“You’re still here,” she said, relieved.

“No, I’m just waiting for a cab,” you said, not meeting her gaze. “You should go back to your party.”

“Do you want to come inside?” she asked you, wringing her hands.

“No, thanks,” you said, shoving your hands deep in your pockets. “I wasn’t invited, so.”

“Oh, Y/N, I didn’t mean to-,”

“No, no, you clearly did,” you shook your head, interrupting her. “It’s fine, really. But next time you get sick of me, have the fucking courtesy to actually break up with me, please?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re barely answering any of my texts, and every time we talk you’re miles away. And now you’re throwing a party with the whole team, except for me. What gives?”

“It’s not what you think!”

“What the hell am I supposed to think, then? Do you even realize what the past few weeks have been like for me? Jesus, Tammy, I’ve been worried sick.”

Tammy didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to lose you, she knew she couldn’t lose you, but to explain the plans and explain everything she’d prepared would ruin so, so much.

“Y/N, I love you with my entire heart. I can explain, I promise.”

“No, forget it,” a cab pulled up to the sidewalk and you yanked open the door. “Come back when you’ve made up your mind, I guess. Unless it’s something I don’t want to hear. Bye, Tammy.”

With that, the cab sped away, and you left a stunned Tammy standing on the sidewalk.

It was nearly two weeks later. You didn’t know how on earth you got this far without talking to Tammy at all, but you figured you made it clear where you stood. If she never talked to you again, you understood the message, and you were through.

A bit overdramatic, maybe, you wondered? If it was, you weren’t prepared to be the first one to cave. You wouldn’t go begging and crawling back to her. You were too stubborn and proud- even with the constant crying over the past few days.

You were sitting at a bar, drinking a sweet and fruity drink while watching some mindless sports game on the monitor when a familiar blonde slid into the seat next to you.

“Go away,” you said, not looking at Lou. She waved her hand, and the bartender set to work on a drink for her.

“Good evening to you too, sweetheart,” she said.

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. This is my bar after all,” she received her drink and took a big gulp, leaning forward on the bar and looking over at you.

“No it isn’t,” you frowned, trying to piece your memory together. “Your club is dozens of blocks from here.”

“Yeah, and then I bought almost every bar and club on this side of the city. You’re looking at one rich-ass owner, Y/N.” Lou grinned, but you couldn’t be bothered to return the smile.

“Well, congrats Lou. No need to rub it in. Some of us are meant to just be broke.”

“Since when did you become such a downer?”

“Uh, since my girlfriend decided her life was better off without me?” you scoffed.

“Is that really what she said to you?” Lou asked, blue eyes piercing. You shifted in your seat.

“Not exactly, but I know when people are tired of me,” you muttered. “Walking in on the whole team who went through hell together having a party without me kinda sends a clear message.”

Lou chewed her lip, and sighed. She pushed the empty glass away from her and took her time to unwrap a stick of gum.

It was quiet between the two of you as she got up and straightened her jacket, flicking her bleach blonde hair away from her eyes.

“It wasn’t a party, Y/N,” she said. “Talk to Tammy. She’s been absolute shit the past week.”

You bristled, not wanting to think about Tammy again. But Lou left you to it, paying for your drink, and headed out the door. You rubbed your face, tired, and lonely, and cursing yourself for letting it get this far.

Hesitantly, you took out your phone, reading the ‘six new voicemails’ notification, and lingering your finger over the green listening button. All from Tammy.

“Hey, Y/N. Giving me a taste of my own medicine, huh?” A weak laugh. “I’m sorry for not responding or talking more with you.. you have every right to be angry.”

You got up and headed home slowly, going through each voicemail carefully, listening at least twice.

“God I don’t even know where to start. It’s been so... empty without you. Please call me soon? There’s so much I want to tell you.”

Turning multiple corners, you put on your sunglasses, hoping it would hide the tears threatening to spill over.

“I feel terrible. And the girls are mad at me for letting you get away. Not-not like you ran away, but- but not fighting for you, you know? For such a stupid, stupid reason too. I, uh, hm... I miss you.”

I miss you. You stared at your front door, listening as the voicemail ended, frozen. You were mere steps from getting inside, but there was something in the way.

Tammy looked over her shoulder, standing on your doorstep, and you nearly burst into tears all over again. She was startled just like you were, surprised to see you there.

Your arm dropped limply to your side, voicemail forgotten, and you took a shaky breath,

“I miss you too.”

You sat across each other awkwardly. You offered her a cup of tea, she politely declined. Tammy was carrying a large tote bag with things inside, and you were intrigued, but didn’t make any effort to start the conversation. You would remain stoic, and not cave. No matter how beautiful she looked, how rosy her cheeks were, how done up her hair was. But there were giant bags under her eyes that you could not ignore, and something pulled at your heartstrings.

“You look well,” Tammy said, smiling weakly.

“No I don't,” you replied. Her face fell. “Neither do you.” Ouch.

“Crazy what only two weeks can do to a person, right?” she chuckled hoarsely.

She continued, “I realize that... that I didn’t handle things very well, with how it ended.. on the sidewalk that night.”

“Hmm.”

Her fingers were shaking, and your resolve nearly crumbled. She reached into the bag and grabbed a massive binder, nearly bursting with the amount of pages. Your name was written in thick letters on the front.

“This is why I wasn’t talking to you,” she muttered, bashfully. “And I realized that keeping this a secret from you isn’t worth the risk of losing you.. like, actually losing you and never getting to have you in my life again.”

Your mouth fell open as you turned to the first page. It was one of those massive wedding planner books that some young girls like to have when dreaming of their future wedding.

Only it was for your birthday. Lists and lists of your favourite music, your favourite foods, restaurants, colours and clothes. Plans for venues, DJs, special outings and reservations. Plans for each member of the team to take care of little things; drinks, dances, meals, performers...

“Oh my god,” you whispered.

“It was going to be your first birthday with the two of us really together. It was supposed to be a surprise... perfect and special. I guess I went a little over the top..” she rubbed her neck with her hand and blushed.

“Tammy... oh my god,” you kept saying, with every new page, and new intricate lists and ideas. “Oh my god.”

“This is incredible,” you breathed, tears falling freely now. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“No no, I should be the one apologizing,” Tammy replied firmly. “I should have told you.”

“But then it wouldn’t have been a surprise! Oh my god, I should have been more trusting in you,” you cried softly. “Tammy, oh, god. Tammy, I love you so much.”

Every detail was spot-on. She knew you inside and out, like no one else ever knew you. No one had ever cared so deeply for you, to think so deeply for you.

Now Tammy was crying too, and you were two blubbering messes, clasping hands across the table and spilling tears on the pages. Thankfully, they were laminated.

“I’ve scrapped it all,” Tammy confessed.

Your head snapped up, “What?”

“Well, when I say scrapped.. I rescheduled it for next year.. I didn’t think that you would want this anymore. Not after what I did.”

“Debbie thought it a good idea to just move it to next year, in case you still wanted it, and.. well, in case you and I are still...” she cleared her throat, face red, not wanting to finish her sentence for fear of jinxing it.

You pushed your chair back and walked over to her, cupping her face and kissing her sweetly. She melted in your touch.

“Of course I’ll still want it,” you said, brushing her mouth with your lips. “I want you.”

“So-, are- are we o-okay?” Tammy’s breath hitched with increasing sobs and you kissed her, again and again.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you laughed, kissing her tears away. “I don’t want anything except you.”

“Good,” Tammy giggled, “because I don’t think I had anymore energy to finish these plans.”

“When did you start making this?”

“About a month ago.”

“Oh, Tammy, my God,” you threw your head back, understanding why she had gotten so distanced now. “You can’t possibly think all of that-” gesturing to the thick book, “would be possible to plan in just a few weeks right? Not with your perfectionist habits, at least.”

“Hey,” Tammy warned, but her eyes were twinkling.

“Plus, I love every single detail you put in there, I swear, but I don’t need anything except you and the people we love on my birthday. Seriously.”

“Good, because that’s exactly what Lou offered after she slapped some sense into me,” Tammy confessed. “A party at her loft or one of her clubs? And then.. cake?”

“Yes!” you clapped your hands. “Our friends, and cake.”

You slid forward to sit in Tammy’s lap and pressed your warm face in her neck, kissing her there and hugging her closely.

“That’s all I need,” you murmured. “That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Tammy let out another sob, wrapping her arms around you tightly and kissing the side of your head, nuzzling your hair without abandon.

A/N: A bit longer than usual but I wanted to do the lovely request justice :D Miscommunication is such a bitch... especially when it doesn’t work out, but in this fiction land it does!! We love soft!Tammy~

#tammy #tammy oceans 8 #tammy x you #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x you #sarah paulson character #wlw #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #ocean's eight #oceans8 #oceans 8 #oceans 8 fanfic #ocean's 8 #cate blanchett #Sandra bullock #fanfiction #merry writes

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pinoyrella · 3 years

Text

“A Love So Beautiful” Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Heartbreak

FT: Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio, Yachi Hitoka + Coaches + Dateko Volleyball Team + Karasuno Volleyball Team.

TW: Mild Language + Rejection

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst, Coming of Age + Slow Burn

- Fluff, Angst and Drama mostly in this chapter!

WORD COUNT: 5,800+

“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸

A/N: hi! oh god, i’m so sorry it had been forever, life had been hella wild this past month and as i was going to post this chapter last night, i had forgot a very important detail so i had to restart all over again! n e wayz, i hope you enjoy, and please check out the authors note at the end if you’d like! i love you!!! 💞

PS: this is taking place during season 4, episodes 6-8! omg, i’m getting so nervous about the timeline, i hope it all matches up...

The sound of ringing wakes you from your rest, turning around with a groan, you reach for your phone, immediately answering.

“H-Hello?” You ask with a yawn. “Come outside” “Tsukki?” You immediately sit upright. “It’s-” You open your eyes, looking towards your alarm clock. “5 in the morning.” “Just come outside, but get dressed. It's cold.” He says before hanging up, not giving you a chance to respond.

You throw your phone to the side of your bed, missing the ding of a notification, before removing the sheets. The cold touch of the floor causes a whine of discomfort to slip out before you make your way to your closet, following the blonde’s orders.

Almost dressed, you dig into your dresser as you feel around for your socks, only to find the drawer nearly empty. Peaking your head in, you notice 2 stray socks, each with no pair. Sighing and not thinking too much of it, you take both socks, deciding to mismatch, rather than keep your best friend from waiting in the cold any longer.

Quickly layering yourself in a warm and fuzzy sweater, you slip into your boots, before opening the front door, revealing the still dark sky. You sigh as you quickly lock your door, before turning, immediately finding the blonde perched on his bike right in front of your gate.

Letting out a tired smile, a huff of cold air leaves your lips as you skip over to him happily.

The sound of the gate closing causes the attention of Tsukishima to turn, looking down to face your cute and tired face. Sliding his phone into his pocket, he gives you a warm smile as you watch the hot air fighting against the cold leaving his lips.

“Morning.” He greets. The two of you make your way down the sidewalk.

You haven’t met or seen Tsukishima since your birthday last week, but of course as expected, he had spent half of his spring break at Miyagi’s Training Camp. You haven’t spoken to Kageyama either, but you expect the same as well, the boy’s training with the entire of Japan.

In the midst of strolling, you pause, causing the blonde to stop and turn to look at you. Where were you guys even going?

“Where are we going Tsukki?” You ask, you watch as his eyes turn away, before looking back to you, replying bluntly. “I don’t know.” “HUH?!” You cross your arms, confused and irritated “You woke me up at 5 in the morning? For you don’t know? Why!” You whine giving him a pout before he turns his head facing forward.

You watch as he hops onto his bike, before turning to look back at you. “Hop on.”

You follow his orders, and cling closely to his back as he faces forward. “Where do you want to go?” He asks, you feel the vibration of his speaking throughout his body, as you lay your head to his back, exhausted. “I’m hungry” You answer, without actually answering his question. He takes this as a sign to find the nearest convenience store to satisfy your needs.

Tsukishima hadn’t plotted his idea through enough. He had only planned to watch the sunrise with you, but in fact, he had just wanted to see you as soon as possible. He had been so packed with training camp, leaving his house early, only to come home late. The only contact the two of you had throughout the first half of the week were through texting and calling, but he missed you physically. As soon as training camp had ended, he took the earliest opportunity to see you. Literally.

You snuggle into Tsukishima before he gently wakes you. The two of you make your way into the convenience store, you still being half asleep, following him mindlessly as he grabs various bento boxes, showing it to you. Your eyelids half opened, as you shake your head to each box he presents, chicken, pork, veggies, seafood.

You hear him sigh “You’re so picky”, placing the bento box of chicken back on the shelf before turning back to you, noticing your eyes slowly drooping shut. “What do you want to eat?” Without even opening your eyes, your lips turn into a smirk. “Mmm…” “What?”

“Strawberry… shortcake...” Tsukishima blinks as he processes what you’ve just said. The light pinch on your right cheek surprises you, waking you up with a low yelp. He lets go before replying. “Are you dumb? It’s five in the morning, it’s too early for cake. You need to eat food.”

“Cake is a food” You bite back playfully, “REAL food.” Tsukishima replies, crossing his arms. You let out a huff, grabbing the chicken bento he had just places from the shelf. You face away from him, only to slowly turn back, giving him a soft pout with those puppy eyes.

Walking out of the convenience store, Tsukishima holding onto the plastic bag in his hands, as you hold a container with a piece of strawberry shortcake in yours. “I can’t believe you.” He says before settling onto his bike, waiting for you to hop on. “Hey! Don’t I deserve this? You woke me up so early!” You cry, taking the plastic bag in his hands, gently placing your cake inside as your eyes wander behind him.

“Can we go to the river?!” “What?” You point excitedly to the Shiroishi River, not too far from your current location. Tsukishima follows your finger, letting out a sly smile before turning back to you. “Hop on.”

Hopping onto the bike’s back seat, you clutch onto Tsukishima’s back once again, as he begins riding off. Feeling the early morning’s cold hair brush against your cheeks, as your hair flows. The warmth of Tsukishima in front of you makes you hug him tighter, closer, as the bike rides away.

Not long, the two of you make it to a spot by the river. As Tsukishima parks his bike, you make your way slowly down the small hill’s incline, running closely towards the river with your arms spread out, the plastic bag in your hands swinging.

“Ocean, I’m coming!” You giggle, as you find the perfect patch of grass, to immediately plop down. “That’s a river.” Tsukishima replies, following after you.

The two of you sit in silence for a bit, before taking out the small meals you both had purchased.

You immediately dive into the plastic bag, pulling out the container with the strawberry shortcake, before hearing a cough. Looking up to Tsukishima, he holds the chicken bento box in his hands, giving you a knowing look.

You reply with a small pout before placing the cake down, taking the bento in his hands and beginning the start of your meal.

Kageyama wakes from his rest, turning to his side to check the time. It’s five in the morning, he sits in his bed for what seems like forever. His mind takes him back to last Friday, when he had seen you and Tsukishima.

His heart clenches, remembering the smile you gave the blonde, and the smile the blonde gave you. Maybe he was overthinking this, maybe it was just a misunderstanding. You two have been friends since childhood, this could be something normal between you too, it can’t be more, can it?

He hasn’t spoken to you at all since then. He hasn’t called, texted, or even seen you in person. He thanks the training camp for assisting in keeping his mind occupied, but still, you always stood in the back of his mind.

‘Should I message her?’

He misses you just as much, but he doesn’t know how to reach out, nor how to react. But with courage, he reaches for his phone, sending you a quick message before getting dressed.

05:07 a.m

Tobio: “Hey, want to get breakfast together later?”

Finally getting out of bed, he dresses, preparing for his daily morning jog.

Shutting his front door, he places his headphones in, before pressing play as he jogs out his residence.

As you figure the mechanics of removing the lid of the bento, Tsukishima watches, a smile crossing his face watching as you struggle so cutely.

You huff, before turning, catching Tsukishima already looking at you. He immediately turns his head the moment you make eye contact, hoping you didn’t catch him staring. Not thinking too much of it, you huff. “Tsukki, see this is a sign, I should eat the cake first!”

Tsukishima rolls his eyes, taking the bento and opening it for you so easily, as he unwraps the chopsticks, facing it to you.

You stare at the opened bento box, before looking up to him. Blush spreads as you take it, thanking him.

Digging in, you feel his stare, this time catching him before he had the chance to turn away. That was when you realized- the poor boy probably didn’t even have breakfast yet tpp.

You move scooting much closer to him, using your chopsticks, you grab a piece of meat, bringing it towards the blonde. “Tsukki, say ah~!”

Tsukishima's eyes widened just a bit in shock, before turning his head away just a little. “It’s fine…” Blush creeps across his face, denying your offer. Though, you don’t stop.

Hovering the meat closer to his mouth, his head turns the other way, gently bringing his hand to grab your wrist. “No, you eat it” He tells you.

“Tsukki!” You whine “You haven’t ate yet either too! Please” You plead, giving a pout.

He sighs before letting go of your wrist, turning his head to face you directly.

Giving him a smile for being obedient, you tease “Here comes the airplane~!” Tsukishima rolls his eyes yet again, as he opens his mouth slightly, letting you feed him.

As he chews, you tease him again. “Is that shit bussin’?” Tsukishima nearly chokes, as you let out a quiet fit of laughter.

Tsukishima takes the water bottle that sits between you two, taking a drink before wiping his mouth. ‘This girl’s crazy.’ He smiles behind his hand, before closing the lid.

The two of you sit, telling each other what you’ve been up to, sharing the bento, then finally enjoying the cake. “God, I’ve been waiting for this one!”

You both sit in silence, watching as day begins. Looking far off into the distance, you see as the sun slowly rises.

“I missed you so much Kei, even though it’s only been a few days, it feels like forever.” You say, not taking your eyes off from the distance.

Tsukishima stares at your features, the daylight lighting your face up as it rises.

“Yeah, I missed you too.” He says before bringing his attention to watch the sunrise.

Kageyama makes his way across the Shiroishi River’s bridge, nearly home before he notices two figures. Not thinking too much of it, he continues his route home, but as he comes closer, the two seem very familiar.

He pauses as he reaches the top, removing his headphones, he looks down towards you both. ‘Y/n?’

You watch as the sun begins to rise, the warmth of the star makes you feel at ease, watching the sky slowly brighten makes you feel very comforting. You let out a yawn as your eyes begin to droop. Tsukishima notices, and watches from the corner of his, as you lay your head on his shoulder.

Tsukishima stiffens, flustered but calms himself as he continues to watch as your eyes shut, just exactly as the sun reaches the top. Your lashes flutter and the sun hits your face perfectly. The beautiful and warm glow, making his heart beat fast all over again.

A strand of your hair makes its way to cover your face. He takes his hand to move it away, wanting to appreciate the golden glow effect on your facial features more.

His breath hitches, he finds it hard to breathe. You have such an effect on him. He is so taken aback by your beauty, and finds himself falling into you, much more than he already has over the years.

Kageyama watches the interaction, remembering the time he had watched the sunset with you at the park nearby Coach Ukai’s shop. He remembers when you had your heart broken, and heavy, your mind racing with negative thoughts, the tears streaming down your face, you looked so hurt. Understanding that it was Tsukishima who had done that, he watches as now, he is the one to feel that way. His heart squeezes painfully, as he turns to run off home.

Tsukishima continues to watch as you snooze quietly, in such content on his shoulder. He wishes to stay like this forever, perhaps one day.

He takes a fallen leaf beside him, bringing it up to your nose and wiggling it back in forth, tickling you.

Your nose scrunches, before immediately sitting up, preparing to sneeze before Tsukishima brings a tissue in his hands, plugging your nose with it, stopping the reaction.

Your eyes flutter open, as your eyes turn to him, you take the tissue as he pulls his hand away, giving you a sly smile before turning back to the sun.

You slowly remove the tissue, shoving it into your pocket before an idea pops to mind.

“A-Achoo!” You act, looking to the side to see if you had caught his attention. Not at all, he continues his gaze to the distance, as you begin again. “AH-AHHHH-ACHOO!” You try harder, only to look and see, no reaction from him.

Having enough of this man ignoring you, you tug on his sleeve, his gaze turns to you before you try, yet again. “Achoo!” “Gross” “Tsukki!” You whine as he lets out a small laugh.

Giving him a pout, you cross your arms before replying. “You know, in a drama I watch, when someone sneezes, the other person usually offers their jacket.” You peak from your right eye, watching as he removes his hoodie.

You both immediately stand up, as he motions for your arms to be held up.

You follow his instructions as he slips it on you, his hoodie loosely hugging you, feeling oh so warm. It’s so big on you, nearly reaching your knees. Blushing, you look up to him and find him giving you a smile, a too friendly smile.

Before you could ask, he takes the sleeves, tying the ends of it. “Ah! Kei!” You wiggle as he begins to run up the hill towards his bike.

“Kei!” You giggle, chasing after him as he hops on his bike, slowly peddling.

“KEEEIIIIIII!”

Finally arriving home, you hope off the back of his bike, turning to him.

“Thanks for-” “Dropping you home” He finishes. Before you can turn into your gate, he asks. “Will you be coming to the practice match?” You turn, facing him before giving a sweet smile.

“Yes sir! I’ll be there as always to cheer you on!” He blushes from your statement, before scoffing. “W-whatever…” You wave to him before making your way in.

Just as you were about to fall onto your bed, you receive another notification, from Tsukishima. Immediately opening it.

06:47 a.m

Tsukki: “Bring my hoodie too.”

06:47 a.m

Y/n: “OUR hoodie!”

You laugh before noticing another message, immediately sitting upright and opening it, it was from Kageyama.

05:07 a.m

Tobio: “Hey, wanna get breakfast together later?”

Looking at the current time to now, you feel so bad for leaving him un-replied for so long. Just as you finish typing a reply, you stop yourself from sending it for a second, thinking to yourself and remembering the script from the week before. ‘I’m in love with Y/n’ The thought comes back to mind.

Would it be alright to talk with Kageyama? I mean, after all, crush or not he’s still one of your closest friends. It would be best to let him down easily now, right?

06:48 a.m

Y/n: “Tobio! I’m so sorry I completely missed the notification, if the offer is still up you already know I’d love to! There is also something I really REALLY want to talk about.”

You watch as not even a few minutes later, you get a reply.

06:54 a.m

Tobio: “It’s okay, and of course I’m always here to listen. 7:30? I have to go home afterwards and get ready for the practice match later.”

06:55 a.m

Y/n: “Perfect, sounds good to me 🕺🏻 “

06:56 a.m

Tobio: “I’ll come to your house in fifteen. Also can you please bring one of your hair ties? See you soon.”

You read his text confused, ‘one of my scrunchies?’. You reply back before going through your dresser, pulling out one of your favorite scrunchies.

“I’m heading out!” You call out to your parents before shutting the door. As you make your way past your gates, you check your phone, seeing it is still a bit early.

Just then, you hear someone call to you. Looking you notice Kageyama jogging to you.

“Goodmorning Tobio” You give him a small smile, he greets you back as the two of you make your way to a nearby cafe.

“Will that be all?” The cashier asks. Just as you were about to respond, Kageyama lightly pushes you to the side, before ordering and handing the cashier money to pay for both meals.

“Tobio! It’s okay, I can pay for myself-” You watch as the cashier hands Kageyama his change, as he hands you the receipt with your order number.

“Don’t worry about it boss” He gives a smile as you two find a place to sit.

“Thank you again, please enjoy your meal.” The employee sets your breakfast in front of you, before walking off. What the employee had placed on the table was definitely more than you ordered.

Your mind begins to race with the thought of the script, but you scoot it away, wanting to enjoy and spend time with your friend before bringing up that topic.

“Thank you Tobio, next time let me treat you!” You say, as the two of you begin your meals.

Throughout your meal, your mind keeps racing back to the script. Little did you know, Kageyama’s as well with you and Tsukishima.

“So, new style?” “Hm?” You let your fork down, looking to him. “Your sweatshirt, looks very big on you” He says, and you blush, looking down remembering you are still wearing Tsukishima’s hoodie. “Uh- Yeah...” You stuff your mouth, obviously flustered and too embarrassed to say it’s Tsukishima’s.

"Well, I-I have a lot of hoodies, I think they’d look big on you too... If you ever want to borrow” He says quickly, stuffing his face as well as he begins to fluster.

You nearly choke at his offer, immediately chugging the water in front of you down before giving him a laugh. Just then, you remember.

“Oh, Kags” The boy’s attention falls to you, as you reach for your bag pulling out your scrunchie.

“You said to bring one of my hair ties? Well, first of all, scrunchies, but yeah what did you need them for?” You hold the scrunchie in front of you, as he pulls away from his food, digging into his pocket.

“I wanted to make an exchange.” He says.

You blink, before replying. “An exchange?” “Yeah.” He pulls out the medal he had received from the Interhigh Spring Preliminaries.

You blink again, “What?!” “I want to make an exchange, with my medal, for your hair tie- scrunchie.” He places the medal on the table.

“I want this to be the kind of exchange, like a promise sort of.” “A promise?” You ask confused. “Yeah.” He pauses, sitting up taller as he continues. “I want you to keep this medal, and I want to keep your scrunchie.”

“Only until I finally get the olympic medal, is when you can give this back to me.” He slides his medal over to you, before reaching over and taking the scrunchie from your hands. “And, only until you finally get really good and find that somebody who’s even better, will I give this back to you.” He waves your scrunchie as you process what he had just said.

A smile leaves your lips, before holding your hand out. “Deal.” The two of you shake on it, as you slide each other’s significant belonging into your pockets, well for you, in your bag.

The two of you continue your meal, and talk as friends would always do, enjoying each other's company. Kageyama thinks to himself, maybe, he does have a chance.

As you walk home, the thought of the script comes back. You stop in your tracks, before calling out to Kageyama.

“Tobio?” He turns around, looking down and immediately coming to your service. “What’s wrong-” “Um…” He steps back, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable, as he waits for whatever you want to say.

“I-” You take a deep breath, pulling out the script you had brought along with you, handing it to him.

“I know you wrote this, I know, that you have… feelings for me…” Kageyama freezes, as he takes the script in between you hands, rereading the confession he had written for you that night. Could you be confessing? Could you be reciprocating the same feeling-

“I don’t like you.”

Kageyama’s heart stops, his eyes not leaving the script.

“I-I mean! I like you, you’re one of my best friends, but I just don’t like you that way! You are like my brother, well sort of- maybe not brother that’s kind of weird to say, but like an uncle! No-wait that’s even worse, my cousin? No you’re just, you’re just my very very very close friend, and I like you but only in that way and-” As you ramble, Kageyama’s mind closes off before it comes back to you.

“I’m in love with someone else.”

There it is.

Kageyama drops his head down, and you don’t even notice before looking to him after not receiving a response. “To...bio?” You look under his drooped head, still no reply. You poke him, feeling a bit worried. “Tobio, I’m so sorry… Please don’t be mad… Please don’t hate me” Just then, he chuckles, surprising you a bit.

You watch as he brings his head back up, for some reason his nose seems a bit redder than before. “You know it was just a game.” He begins, as you tilt your head in confusion.

“Don’t take it too seriously, it was just a joke, for a stupid game of that stupid Hinata’s.” He forces another chuckle.

You watch as his gaze softens, bringing his hand on top of your head. “You know you will always and forever be my boss, I won’t ever feel that way about you.” He lies, as he ruffles your head.

Your lips turn into a smile, before tackling him into a hug.

“You scared me! I thought you were crying, I felt so bad! Don’t joke like that ever again!” You laugh as he hugs you back.

You pull away, before waving to him goodbye. As you walk off towards the direction of your house, you miss the grip he had on the script, as he drops his hand down. A single tear slowly making his way down, as he watches the first girl he ever loved walk away from him.

But as he turns his back, beginning to walk off, a number of tears stream down uncontrollably, making his walk home, a very heartbreaking stroll.

Before the time knew it, it was time for the practice match. Kageyama hadn’t been able to realize the time, for his mind has been fogged. Just as Kageyama leaves, he passes by his grandfather’s tamaya shrine, stopping right in front of it. ‘Grandpa, why do I feel this way?’

He feels the warm presence comfort his heart and mind. The words of his late grandfather, repeating back into his mind.

“If you get really good... I promise you... somebody who's even better will come along and find you."

Kageyama keeps his current pace, as he makes his way to the gym. His mind completely occupied of you. He feels sad, hurt, confused, but also frustrated. Not at you, at him. “Kageyama!” He barely even hears someone calling out to him, not until he reaches the entrance of the gym. Stepping in with Hinata. Hinata gives Kageyama a side glance, noticing his off state.

“Hey!” Sugawara’s voice calls out to them from behind, bringing his arms to swing around the shoulders of his kouhais. “Hinata, Kageyama! You guys made it back in one piece!” Kageyama glances to his senior, giving a low nod as Hinata replies. “Heya, Suga-san!” “Heya, Heya” He greets them both, ruffling their heads as he makes his way to Tanaka by the net.

“Yo!” Kageyama feels a hand slap playfully to his back, along with Hinata as Nishinoya makes his way past the two who were still standing by the entrance. The two boys following after him.

Tanaka tucks the gym’s keys in his pocket before turning to Kageyama. “Kageyama, how was the youth training camp?” From the mention of the training camp, Nishinoya runs over in excitement “Yeah, that! How was the All-Japan?!”

Kageyama takes a moment to collect himself. “The floors weren’t made of wood.” He states bluntly, trying his best to not sound too off, hoping his seniors would stop there. “You’re talking about the court?! Tell us, were there crazy good players from all over?” The two ask happily, Kageyama giving them both a silent nod, “Yeah.”

Hinata watches Kageyama before his senior calls behind him. “Hinata, you didn’t try to sneak into the All-Youth Training Camp?” Sugawara teases. “W-well, I- Uh-” “Apparently he didn’t try because he’d get arrested.” Kageyama stays silent, feeling his blood boil to the sound of Tsukishima’s voice while the others in the gym turn their heads to Tsukishima who had just arrived, greeting their teammate.

“Tsukishima!” Hinata growls as the blonde makes his way in. “He was actually planning to sneak into the Tokyo camp.” He continues, Nishinoya beaming before facing his kouhai. “Nice, Shoyo!”

Tsukishima stops in his tracks as Sugawara jumps to him, placing a hand to his head. “Did you learn more at training camp, too, Tsukishima?” “Yeah… I guess…” He says quietly as his senior ruffles his hair. Sugawara laughing as he moves to the right of the blonde, continuing his actions to his head, “Did you grow taller?” he laughs.

“Are you his aunt or something?” Asahi jokes as he and Daichi walk in. “He’d better not have grown taller in five days.”

“Goodmorning kids.” Takeda-sensei greets, Coach Ukai by his side. “Enough chatting, let's prepare for the practice match.” “RIGHT!”

“Futakuchi-san!” Koganegawa calls to his senior, setting the ball to him. Kageyama and Tsukishima watch the ball as they stand side by side, preparing to block Futakuchi from scoring a point. Just as they jump, the boy lightly taps the ball, sending it over lightly.

“Feint!” Tsukishima calls as Nishinoya sprints. “Rolling…” Kageyama turns his glance to the ball about to touch the floor, before Nishinoya sends it back up, not realizing his stance in front of Asahi. “Thunder!”

“Nice, Nishinoya!” Sugawara calls from the stands, as the teammates watch the game.

“Nishinoya-san!” Kageyama shouts, earning the attention from everyone. “You’re in the way!” Karasuno goes into shock as Nishinoya processes his words. “HUH?!”

Kageyama proceeds to set to Tanaka, as he spikes the ball down to their side. “Nice, Tanaka!” Daichi calls out as Tanaka slowly turns his head to Nishinoya.

“What’d you just say?!” Nishinoya approaches the setter, looking up to him in anger. Kageyama looks down to him, before bluntly replying. “You were blocking the back row attacker’s approach.” The gym goes silent before Nishinoya’s mood goes back to normal. “Oh- Gotcha!” He replies going back to his position.

“Oh my god that was scary…” Yachi lets out to Kiyoko besides her. “I’m impressed, I didn’t even notice that at all.” Sugawara admits. “The fact that Kageyama realized that while they were playing and the fact that Noya realized it after he was told is pretty amazing.” Ennoshita joins. Yamaguchi freezes in his spot, “I’m more amazed that he talked to Nishinoya-san like that…” he trails.

Kageyama walks off from Nishinoya, resuming his position towards the net as Tanaka makes his way over to him. “You could have said it in a different way.” Tanaka defends. “Like how?” Kageyama replies, riling his senior up. “The hell did you just say?” “All right” Daichi grabs onto the head of Tanaka’s, stopping him. “I’m gonna stop you right there.” Before turning to the referee. “Sorry about that.”

Kageyama keeps his head down, frustration and irritation bubbling in him, trying his best to not let his mind go to you. Tsukishima glances at Kageyama from the side, before the game restarts.

“Chance ball!” Kageyama adjusts himself, setting towards Tsukishima as he sends it straight down to the opponent's side. “Nice kill!” Hinata and Yamaguchi let out in sync, Kageyama’s eyebrows furrow as he frowns, glaring at Tsukishima.

Daichi extends his hand to slap Tsukishima’s palms, just as the boy turns, he makes eye contact with Kageyama’s before he turns away.

“What?” Tsukishima calls out, Kageyama keeping his eyes to the floor. “If you have something to say, just say it.” He says bluntly as Kageyama walks away, completely ignoring him.

“You know damn well you’d start fighting if he said it.” Sugawara teases from the stands. “Or rather, if you actually think Kageyama can effectively put anything into words, you’re greatly mistaken!” “He’s right!” Hinata joins. “Though…” His teammates turn to the short boy. “If something was going on in-game, he’d usually bring it up. So it’s weird that he hasn’t said anything.” “Yeah, Kageyama seems very different today…”

The sound of the referee’s whistle causes their attention to go back to the court, only to see Kageyama give Tsukishima a look of anger. “You should have tried harder to block that. You could have totally jumped again.”

Yamaguchi stiffens, “I’m pretty sure Tsukki realizes that without him saying anything…”

Tsukishima keeps his eyes in front, before letting out a scoff, turning to face the setter with a cocky smile on his face. “Oh? What are you so irritated for? Did the king miss his nap today?”

“Huh?!” Just as Kageyama begins to charge, Daichi pulls him back by his shirt. “Hey, Kageyama stop!”

“Well that’s not good” Coach Ukai stands, his hands cross as he tries his best not to laugh at the situation. Takeda-sensei rises from his seat as he adjusts his glasses, “Should we call a timeout?” “Nah.”

The game resumes, and Kageyama sets once more to Asahi, unfortunately, the ace sends the ball out.

“Man, Asahi can’t catch a break today. What’s wrong? He’s like an unwritten script.” Sugawara jokes out loud.

Kageyama stiffens to the word, remembering the script he threw away last Friday, and his script you had given him before the rejection.

“Damn it, sorry! That was a good toss-” “Then make the damn point.” Kageyama says, the tone in his voice being something very similar to of years before high school.

You had just arrived to school. “Ah!” You sigh in relief, making your way past the school gates. Still in Tsukishima’s hoodie, you clutch onto the purse that dangles the strawberry milk carton keychain Kageyama had given you a while back. “Let’s see, turn here, and make a right there…” You say to yourself, finally seeing the gym coming to view.

You make your way in quietly, watching the game as Yachi motions you over. “Should we call a timeout?” “Nah.” You hear Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai say as you walk past the stands, waving to the team before taking a seat besides Yachi.

The sound of the referee’s whistle causes you to look to the scoreboard before returning back to Yachi. “Oh man, I missed so much already” You cry as she shakes her head. “Not really! Though, you did miss a lot of-” “Then make the damn point.” The harsh tone of Kageyama causes your attention to turn to the court. “That…” Yachi finishes.

The referee whistle blows indicating a break.

You make your way over to your friends, offering to help Yachi and Kiyoko pass out water bottles. Making your way to Tsukishima, he tries to hide his smile, seeing you still in his hoodie. “Thanks” He takes the water bottle, squeezing the sides. “Y/n-chan!” Sugawara greets, pulling you into a hug. “I like your hoodie! How’s my favorite Tsukishima doing?” Tsukishima chokes at his seniors' joke, causing your attention to go back to him. “Tsukki?!” You bring the towel in your arm up, patting the sides of his jawline, drying the water that drips down his neck.

Kageyama turns his glance towards Sugawara after hearing him call your name, only to watch as you tend to Tsukishima. You are both close to one another as you pat his face dry, he sees the look you give him before bringing his attention back to the ground.

Asahi turns and begins to approach Kageyama, he calls out to his younger teammate. “Hey, Kageyama! There’s something I want to try-” Asahi stops, slowly tilting his head to the side. The attention of everyone in the gym turns to Kageyama as he begins, his mind racing, he isn’t sure if he wants to shout because of volleyball or because of you. “I…” His mind is jumbled up, what did he want to say?

Dropping the towel down, you look over to Kageyama, the feeling of concern for him coursing through you. “To...bio?”

“I know my tosses are good!” He stops, his head still faced down before cocking it to the side. “So please, tell me why?!” He shouts, his head immediately drops to the ground. His eyes widened in shock, realizing what he had just said. A mixture of frustration between volleyball and you.

The gym freezes at his sudden outburst. You stand in shock, feeling as if half of that statement was meant for you. You gulp before Tsukishima scoffs. “Well would you look at that. It’s the return of the king.”

Bringing his head up, he looks around the room, his eyes falling to yours. “I’m sorry-” “You know, I’ve been thinking…” Hinata interrupts, the attention landing on him. “You’ve been pretty off today…” He begins. “You’re usually really focused when it comes to matches, but…” He turns to face Kageyama, his head cocks to the side in confusion. “What’s so wrong with being king?” Kageyama blinks, “Is it because he’s too bossy? Because he’s too self centered? Either way...” Hinata turns to face his team. “No matter what Kageyama says, if I don’t like it I’m not going to listen to him.”

Kageyama stares at the boy in absolute confusion, processing his words. Before Tanaka joins in. “Yeah! No matter what he says, I’m not going to listen if I don’t like his tone.” You watch as Tsukishima removes his glasses, bringing the ends of his jersey to wipe the lens. “What he said.”

“So, no one really cares if you’re the ‘king’ or not.” Hinata takes the towel from his neck, wrapping it around his head. “And plus, king’s are supposed to be cool.” He pauses, before turning back around. “Don’t let obstacles block you from the chances you can take in the future. Get back out there and win!”

Kageyama sucks in his breath, before subtly turning his gaze back to you, then to his senior. “Asahi-san” “Sorry about that, Kageyama.” Kageyama looks up to his senior in confusion. “I’ve been trying to time my hits so they don’t match their blocks, but it just hasn’t been working against Date Tech. Your tosses are great though! So keep doing what you’re doing.”

Just as Asahi was about to turn away. “Ah- I’m probably gonna get caught by their blocks again, so I’ll just apologize now. My bad-” “And I’m not going to give up trying for that super sharp cut shot, so you’re not allowed to get mad at me for missing.” Tanaka yells. “If you don’t like it, that’s your problem!”

Kageyama turns to his senior, determination spread across his face. Tanaka looks at the boy, before letting out a laugh. “Bring it on!”

Before the second set starts, Kageyama’s eyes fall to you. “Don’t let obstacles block you from the chances you can take in the future. Get back out there and win!” The quote from Hinata replays in his head, as he turns to glare at Tsukishima. Tsukishima notices his gaze, and looks back to him “I’m not gonna lose to you” Kageyama states before the whistle blows.

“Huh?” Tsukishima questions, irritated by Kageyama’s random statement. Before looking back to you, knowing exactly what he meant. “I see, that’s perfectly fine with me.”

Kageyama finally arrives home after a long, and successful practice match. He drops his sports bag as he slips out of his shoes, slipping into his house slippers.

As he makes it towards his room, he passes by his grandfather’s tamaya, stopping right in front of it. A look of great determination spreading through his face.

“I’m not giving up.”

A/N: hiii hiiii i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter i’m so sorry for being so inactive! i appreciate you all so much, and how sweet of the asks and submissions you guys have been sending in, it means the world to me, and i’m really fortunate to have you guys here! i love you!!!! stay safe, and see you in the next chapter!!! 🥺💞💖

- love, a very sleepy ani 🌸

i go nap now hehehe~

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PLEASE LEMME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS (OR IN ASKS) IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST!!!

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no-whump-on-main · 3 years

Text

Apartment 307-8 (Grabbed by the hair)

Hi guys!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. School and work have been crazy but luckily I'm out of school next week so I'll have much more time and be posting more frequently! Apologies for the short chapter, I have no idea why but it just kicked my butt lol. I tried doing some cool multimedia stuff, I hope you enjoy! This is @sableflynn's BTHB request, grabbed by the hair.

TWs: Creepy, possessive whumper, mention of branding, also this chapter made me sad bc I love my mom and Elora's mom is sad so warning for that lmao

Elora was still lying there crying hours later. The tears had slowed from her initial keening sobs, but they still fell steadily down her face, accumulating in a small puddle on the tile by her head. She could see a bit of her reflection in the salty water; just her eyes, mostly. She saw green eyes that had once been so full of hope and life that were fading, the slow abandonment of hope almost making them gray out. She wanted to lie there forever, staring into her own eyes, until oblivion took her. If she cleared her head enough, she could pretend she was elsewhere, somewhere warm and loving; the blanket draped over her body did help with the fantasy, though she always knew somewhere in the back of her head that it was just that: a fantasy. She was still here. With him.

Clyde tried to give her time to recover, but his patience wore eventually. He began to get antsy after a few hours of watching her lie there, doing nothing but cry. Admittedly, he did enjoy it at first-seeing her so weak, so docile, because of him-but it eventually grew tiresome. Watching each tear drip down into the puddle became like watching paint dry.

He stood up abruptly. Elora was startled by the motion, flinching before stilling and watching him very carefully. What was he going to do?

“Get up,” he said simply.

Elora froze. She still felt sick, dizzy with pain and the lingering scent of her burning flesh in the bathroom. But why would he care about that? Why should she disobey him, when she knew what would happen?

Yet pride and pain got the better of her again.

“I can’t,” she whimpered. She felt weak. “I hurt. You hurt me.”

The piercing sound of a loud, sudden laugh began to echo through the bathroom. It reminded Elora of the laugh of a hyena. She winced.

“Darling, did you not think that was the point?”

Her expression hardened and her heart thumped in her chest. That was the point. She wanted to say something, but her mouth suddenly got dry.

The man simply grinned. “Get up,” he repeated, but she didn’t. She just laid there, dumbfounded.

He groaned angrily, rolling his eyes. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Be that way.”

He gathered up her hair in his hand, locked his fingers in a tight fist, and pulled up. Elora yelped and scrambled to get to her feet to relieve the pain, but he didn’t give her the chance; he carelessly dragged her off, out of the bathroom, through the hallway, and into the living room. She screamed and thrashed wildly, her hands desperately trying to push him away as her scalp burned like fire. Again and again, her feet scraped the ground to no avail, kicking and kicking but never able to gain enough traction to stand as she was mercilessly dragged. The man finally dropped her on the floor at the foot of a worn leather couch, releasing his death grip on her hair. Her hands immediately flew up to her head, applying gentle pressure to her scalp to try to ease the burning pain as she looked around the new room.

The living room was barren, like the man had half moved into it then given up. There was a dusty box in the corner, the couch, a worn coffee table, a small stand, and an old TV. Other than that, it was empty, in an eerie way. The aged carpet spanned the floor like an ocean.

The pressure didn’t do much and Elora dropped her hands, still wincing as the man plopped himself on the couch behind her, the leather making a loud crackling noise as he sat. She whipped her head around as her shoulders raised up to her ears instinctively. The man made a sour face, his features twisting into an ugly frown.

“Relax,” he commanded, forcefully pushing her shoulders down. At first, she tried to wiggle away, but that idea was abandoned when he tightened his grip, clearly as a warning. He grabbed the TV remote from the arm of the couch and turned it on. It started on some history channel documentary about cars, but Clyde quickly flipped through channels until he found the local news station.

A grin spread across his face as he read the blue banner spanning across the bottom of the screen. They were just in time.

UP NEXT: CAPE COD GIRL GOES MISSING; DESPERATE MOTHER PLEADS FOR HER RETURN

His hands wandered to Elora’s scalp and began to gently card through her hair. She inhaled sharply, and it took everything she had in her not to immediately shove him off. Somehow the gentleness felt worse than the pain; the false sense of care disgusted her. He was a maniac. He hurt her, he branded her, and now he was sitting on the couch petting her hair, pretending like none of it happened. It didn’t escape her attention how he set her on the floor instead of the couch, below him, like a dog.

The banner was bad enough, but she felt sick to her stomach when the station cut to a reporter sitting at a desk with a picture of her on half of the screen. It was the picture her mom took of her at the orchard last fall. It was candid; she remembered it. She was intently focused on a butterfly off on a tree, ignoring her mom as she snapped the photo. It was one of her favorite pictures of herself. And now, it was plastered all over the news.

The reporter on the TV began to speak. “Tonight, a desperate mother pleads for her missing daughter’s safe return. Elora Larkin, nineteen, of Barnstable county, Massachusetts has been missing since Friday night. She was last seen walking home from her job at Agathangelou’s bakery, wearing khakis, a black t-shirt, and black sneakers. The police have opened a tip line and are offering an unspecified reward for any information that leads to Miss Larkin.”

Elora felt a lurching sensation in her stomach, so visceral she wanted to throw up. That was her. On the news. Gone. Missing.

Behind her, the man chuckled.

“Look at that, baby. You’re all over New England.”

“I’m not your baby,” she snapped, turning around. But her head was spinning. All over New England? It wasn’t the Cape Cod news station on the TV. It wasn’t even a state news channel. It was entirely unfamiliar, the reporter’s face one she’d never seen.. So he’d taken her across state lines, making her chances of being found lower yet.

The man shushed her and put a finger up to her lips. “Watch.” She almost bit him, but decided it wasn’t worth the inevitable punishment that would follow. Besides, they might say something useful, something that could help her. She needed to pay attention.

The screen changed, and a missing persons poster popped up. Hers.

It was up for a minute before it faded away as the reporter came back on the screen.

“Such a sad story. Everyone in the studio is hoping and praying for her safe return. Unfortunately, vigilance is so important in this day and age. Up next, we have a recording of a press conference with the girl’s mother.

The girl’s mother. Her mother. Elora felt her heartbeat thumping in her chest.

And there she was. Jodie was standing at a podium in a building that had to be a police station. Demetrios was standing by her side, offering support by merely being present. While Elora hadn’t seen him cry even once in all the years she’d known him, he now looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Her mom started to speak. She looked so sad. Withered, like the life had been sucked out of her, from fear and overthinking and sleepless nights.

“My daughter-My daughter Elora has been missing since Friday night. She’s got-she’s got blonde hair, and green eyes, and she’s real tall. I’m sure pictures have gone around by now. She was walking home from work and-and then she disappeared. We were supposed to have dinner Sunday and she never came. It was supposed to be her weekend off. I- If someone has her, please, I’m begging you, let her go. Bring her home safe. She’s a good kid, she works hard, she rescues cats in her spare time...she doesn’t deserve this. And Elora, if you’re seeing this, I love you. I love you so much, honey. If you chose to leave, please just tell us you’re okay. It’s okay. You can go see the world, just tell us you’re okay. And if something-something bad happened, we’re gonna find you. I promise, baby, I love you and we’re gonna bring you home. Promise.”

At that point, she set the microphone down and began to cry, tears streaming down her face as she hurried off to an exit, the cameras following her for a few moments. Elora’s heart twisted in knots. Seeing her mom’s face brought her so much joy, yet knowing how worried she had to be made her feel sick with guilt.

But she promised. She promised she’d find her.

“That your mom?”

Elora stilled. He already knew the answer.

"She’s kinda pathetic. Could barely keep it together long enough to tell them about you.”

She went cold. “Stop,” she seethed. Her voice was eerily calm, given her anger.

"Or what?” he replied, twisting her hair up in his hand and giving it another tug.

Elora was silent. There was no or what. She knew that.

The reporter came back on the screen.

“Well, folks, that’s all we have on the case for tonight. Remember to be safe and vigilant. This has been Hannah Brown with News12.”

The man released her hair, picked up the remote, and turned off the T.V.

“Notice how they only talked about you, not me?”

Elora turned her head around. She was crying.

“What?”

He scoffed. “I said, notice how they only ran their mouths about you the whole time. Never said a word about me. You know what that means? They don’t know jack shit about me. They don’t know who you’re with or where you are. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but we’re in Connecticut. We crossed state lines twice. They’re never going to find you, you know that?

She tried to hide it, but he could see her expression falling with every word he said, hope beginning to seep out of her. She shook her head vigorously, her bottom lip trembling.

“N-no! No, they will, you’re just crazy! You’re just fucking crazy!”

A scowl formed on his lips. “No, they won’t.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but in a split second, his hand was gripping tightly around her throat, cutting off her air. Her eyes went wide.

“No one is coming to save you.”

Elora swallowed, fear bright in her eyes. She tried to rip herself away, but the man raked his fingers across the fresh brand on her collarbone, sending her to the ground, keeling in pain.

“We could’ve had a nice evening if you behaved. Listened,” he grumbled, standing and once again grabbing her hair tightly before dragging her off towards the bathroom.

Tags: @exploringspaceinpyjamas @all-whumped-out @badthingshappenbingo

#bad things happen bingo #whump #whump fic #whump writing #my writing #whumper #human whumpee #possessive whumper #creepy whumper #Elora #elora larkin #lady whump #whump blog #psychological whump #physical whump #apartment 307

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1rintooru · 3 years

Text

When Life Gives You Lemons

Pairing: post-timeskip Bokuto Kotaro x fem! reader (its p gender neutral with a few exceptions)

Themes: fluff, fluff and more fluff

Word count: 2020 one-shot

Warnings: light swearing - that's it!

Summary: just you and bokuto remembering how you first met and started dating. And Bokuto being Bokuto 💖💫

“Do you remember our first date?”

You cocked an eyebrow at his question and shook your head incredulously, “Kou, how could I ever forget that?”

“I’ll never forget that face; you looked so beautiful.”

You smiled at the thought. You remembered that night so vividly as if it were only yesterday. All you wanted to do was dash in and out of the store to collect a few missing groceries. It had been pouring all day and within the short time you were outside, the rain had managed to soak through your paper bags, causing your groceries to rip through the softened paper. You were so upset that you ended up hastily tossing your individual groceries into the backseat of your car before getting in and speeding off.

“And I remember yours,” you chuckled, “that stupid, dumb face that looked right back at me.”

You had a hit a series of red lights – normally annoying you – but the downpour had gotten increasingly aggressive on your drive home. Your car felt like it was vibrating from the fat raindrops that hit the window and roof. You were mindlessly listening to the radio when a loud thump sounded from the hood of your car. Your eyes darted to the sound and you just barely caught a glimpse of white-gray hair and golden eyes staring at you like a deer in the headlights before quickly vanishing as the person rolled off the side. You shrieked and hopped out, mentally preparing yourself for the worst, only to see a young man lying on the road, illuminated by your blinding headlights.

“I really though I hit you…”

“Baby, you were at a red light. I had this all planned out,” Bokuto grinned smugly, then scratched his chin contemplatively. “Besides, how else was I supposed to catch up to you!”

He had plastic fruit net entangled in his fingers but you couldn’t quite make out what was within it. Once his eyes met yours his shocked expression was replaced with a confident boyish grin. He held up his bag, pointing it towards you.

“And then you had the nerve to say something as dumb as ‘Uh, you forgot your lemons!’”

“And you were all like, ‘Oh, you’re my hero! You’re so sweet. And handsome too!”

You rolled your eyes, trying – and failing – to stifle a giggle. “I did not say that!”

At the time, of course, you were beyond annoyed. You had barked a couple of insults and promptly snatched the lemons from him before you stomped back into your car. When you arrived home, you threw the fruit into the fridge before changing into a pair of dry clothes. You had managed to calm your nerves but the man from before never fully left your mind. The entire time you tore into him, a goofy smile was plastered on his face. Despite that, he was admittedly quite attractive. His wet hair stuck to the sides of his face, his drenched clothing clung to his body, contouring his muscular physique and he looked almost angelic with the headlights reflecting off his glistening skin.

He cleared his throat,” A couple of days went by, so I thought you didn’t even notice…”

And you almost didn’t. A few days passed and you ended up forgetting about the incident and the lemons altogether until one evening you stood in your kitchen wondering what to eat. You had raided your cabinets and scanned your pantry, but it wasn’t until you opened the fridge for a second time that you noticed the lemons from earlier, still safely contained in their netting. Suspicion began to bubble within you as you had started to realize something.

“I didn’t even buy lemons in the first place…” your voice trailed off.

In the commotion of that night, you didn’t even think twice about what you had snatched from the man. You were cold, wet, hungry and just had a lunatic jump in front of your non-moving vehicle; the last thing you were worried about were the intentions behind some fruit. You debated whether or not you should have simply thrown them away entirely, but you noticed something different about one of the lemons. You fished it out of the net and realized what you had seen earlier. You could just barely make out the digits that were scribbled in thick black marker – most likely written in a hurry – with his name underneath, followed by a crude smiley face.

Bokuto

Call me :)

You remembered how you rolled your eyes upon seeing that. ‘Who did he think he was?’ you thought. Despite your exasperation, something held you back from throwing away his eccentric proposal and to your own surprise, you ended up texting Bokuto that very night.

Your message finally reached him in the early hours of the morning. Bokuto instantly replied back the moment he saw his screen light up. In all of your retellings of the story, he always omitted just how anxious he’d become the past few days. You lived in his head rent free and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t evict you from his mind. Did his master plan really fail him? What if you didn’t even like lemons? Maybe he should’ve taken his shirt off instead. Better yet, he should’ve spiked your car with a volleyball to show off how athletic he was. He really would’ve loved to see you watch him during his matches. He pouted and let out a defeated sigh since he finally understood what it was like for Akaashi when he would overthink.

Your first message way terse and dry but it gave Bokuto enough serotonin for him to snap out of his slump. You ended up texting each other until someone caved and fell asleep, the rays of the rising sun already peeking through your blinds. Texting quickly turned to daily phone calls and that eventually escalated to the two of you constantly facetiming each other. At some point, without you fully realizing, Bokuto had turned into a quasi-roommate – always inviting himself in with the excuse that he didn’t know how to cook for himself. (You came to learn that this was very, very true).

You hadn’t even realized how lonely you’d felt before you met Bokuto, so you wholeheartedly enjoyed being able to see him all the time. However, what you didn’t enjoy was seeing him walk behind you through the monitor of one of your zoom meetings, with nothing but his boxers hanging loosely from his waist. You immediately sprung from your chair, shouting profanities and demanding he leave. The entire time he just smiled at you bashfully, shifting his weight uncomfortably and once you looked down, you finally understood why. You had forgotten that you only got dressed from the waist up – just a pair of barely-there panties prevented you from mooning your co-workers. Needless to say, your colleagues never let you forget you and Bokuto’s peepshow.

“It really was never a dull moment,” you smiled fondly, your mind flooding with memories of all the dates and silly adventures you shared together on a whim.

Bokuto hummed agreeingly, “So, when did you finally know?”

“Know what?”

“Well, you know… when did it feel like love for you?”

That was a good question – you hadn’t really put too much thought into it. A relationship with Bokuto was like having a tidal wave of love and affection hit you. All the time. At first, you tried to resist his efforts in order to protect yourself from getting hurt – turns out, he was the one who needed protecting. He had a knack of getting himself into trouble or diving head-first into something without realizing the risks or consequences. The time he dragged you to an annual food-fair on the boardwalk immediately popped to mind. He had begged you for months to take you there on a date. Once you finally gave in, his face lit up like a small child’s on Christmas and it stayed that way for the entire day while you both tried food from all the different food vendors. You’d both reached your limit but unlike you, Bokuto continued to scarf down food like there was no tomorrow – you suspected this was just another way for him to show off. The only reason he did stop was because the vendors had started to close their stalls and by that point, he had started to realize the error of his ways. The rosiness of his cheeks had paled as he hunched over clinging to his stomach, pain written clearly on his face. ‘I told you so’, you said, already digging through your purse for pain medication. He held up a hand, effectively stopping you, ‘Don’t worry babe, I’ll swim off the pain.’

Before you could even argue, he had already made a run for it, beelining towards the ocean. You chased after him, only catching up with him once you were both neck-deep in the water. You tried to pull him out, but it ended up with you both playfighting instead. Every time you’d aggressively splash him, he would throw you into the air in retaliation and this went on until you were completely exhausted and he was complaining about the saltwater burning his eyes.

You remembered distinctly how your wet shoes squeaked as you walked along the boardwalk. You were glad the life had returned back to Bokuto’s cheeks, even though his hair was disarray and his eyes completely bloodshot. He had an arm twined around the small of your waist and despite his best efforts to hide it – you could feel him shiver underneath his drenched clothes. Someone once told you how your favorite things about your partner would eventually be the same things you come to resent them for. When you looked up at your boyfriend, you couldn’t have disagreed more. Every time you passed a streetlight his features would illuminate – reminiscent of how you saw him for the first time. You met each other through his idiotic plan and you’d be damned if you if you were ever going to miss out on these chaotic adventures together.

Your attention turned back to Bokuto, staring at you fondly through the monitor.

“I guess I just always knew,” you said with a coy smile.

“C’mon that’s not a real answer!” he whined, but even through the pixelated screen you can tell he was hiding a grin.

“Well, answer me this instead, Kou,” your voice quickly turned serious, “when will I get to see you again?”

Bokuto leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms before finally resting his hands behind his head.

“Not long. Besides, you’re lucky enough to see me on TV even when I’m not around,” he grinned mischievously and gave you a wink, making you roll your eyes, “Besides, I uh… I left you something before I left. I hid it behind our junk food stash, I think.”

You raised an eyebrow, but decided to go look without questioning him further. What you found hidden deeply in the nook of your pantry didn’t clear anything up and raised more questions instead.

“Lemonade?” you couldn’t contain your confusion as you held up the can to your camera.

“Read the label.”

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade :)

“I know it’s been tough for you baby, but we’re almost through it. Just a couple more weeks and I’ll be back home. I promise.”

You felt tears threaten to spill over as you read the label again. It was such simple gesture but it truly did encompass your relationship beautifully. Bokuto always had a thing for silly melodramas and goofy sentimentalities. Even after two years you still felt like you were a fresh couple – you never lost the feeling of butterflies in your stomach or the habit of rolling your eyes over his antics. You managed to collect yourself and you couldn’t help but smile when you looked back at him through the screen. He may have been an idiot, but he was your idiot.

“I love you Kou. Don’t keep me waiting.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #bokuto kotaro #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #uuhhm what else do i tag???#ive scrapped this like 3 times already i just need to send it out into the universe </3 #im losing it lmao its 4 am #haikyuu imagines #selfmade

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sebbytrash · 4 years

Text

Through His Eyes - Part Nineteen

Summary - Bucky arrives at the compound to start afresh but you and him have a somewhat colorful past, colorful being that you met him once before as The Winter Soldier and it did not go well. New beginnings, yeah? If you can learn to forgive.

Pairing - Bucky x Reader

Warnings - self reflection, sad bucky, probably swearing

A/N - HERE. I FIX. This is it my pals, buckle tf up.

HUGE thank you to my other half @manawhaat for her exceptional Betaing as always

Through His Eyes Masterlist

It was a cold day, a sharp day. One of those ornery spans of time that climbs inside your skin and lets it’s roots take your bones. The sky is everywhere and nowhere, a borderless open canvas without the depth of sun or the vitality of night. The trees are brittle, breakable and the drying leaves are skittish.

The world around you holds its collective breath, waiting and watching and wondering. The leather of the steering wheel groans in protest as your fingers tighten in time with your inhales. Your thunderous heartbeats reverberate inside the car, the one borrowed from Clint after nearly wearing away the soles of your shoes just to get to his house in the first place, or maybe just inside your bones, shaking you from the inside out. There’s still miles between you and home, still plenty of time to arrange your thoughts, still time to run.

You won’t. Not this time, and not any other future times that voice in your head might say it, that seductive cowerdess with a honeyed voice.

Clint’s words were razor-sharp, cutting away those strings of guilt and doubt, the sudden and impossible realisation that perhaps, just maybe, happiness was for you after all. The ghost of the words you’d last said to Bucky came carried on the wind of regret, were all too happy to remind you that, actually, you had discarded that happiness and had no real right to hope for it. So you didn’t hope, you held the prequel to hope gently in your heart, the soft stretch of winds before hope’s flight.

You left without a plan, nothing but the need to lessen the distance between you and him, no longer ready for his eyes to become a memory or your sheets to lose his scent. It feels like a race, like he’ll be whisked away by the bitter winds that hammer so persistently against the side of the car. But as the miles pass and the sound of your heart slows to a steady gallop, you think and overthink about what you might say, how you might explain your outburst and the following drama but more importantly, how you might say it, those words, how you will admit how you feel.

Impossible, the coward whispers again, he won’t want you now.

He might not, you think, but at least you will have tried. At least you won’t have that to regret, too. Simply add the others to a long list of what-ifs and could-have-beens, a pile of chances never taken and moments unlived. This chance, this hopeful not-hope, is the biggest risk you’ve taken in a long time. The thought alone lets you measure just how much you’ve changed, how much he’s changed you. The hollowed out, broken man who quietly put himself back together right under your nose. Even the you from before would have scoffed at the thought of being changed by a man, any man, but it’s true. He changed you then and he's changed you now.

And, perhaps, the pieces you’ve so diligently stitched back together are better than the whole you were before. Maybe not better...but more undeniably you, real and honest. Honest forgiveness, and then, honest love. The word itself is still a weight in your mouth, tongue and teeth unable to cooperate to let it escape.

You check your phone at the next set of lights, clear a bunch of useless notifications and find a text from Sam.

“You can do this.”

He knows, then. You wonder if Clint told him but more likely, Sam just knows like he always does. Sentient Sam. Well, with the company you keep it’s probably more surprising if he isn’t harbouring some sort of preternatural ability.

The rest of the journey passes in a blur of colour, faded bits of brightness that dull when you look at them too long or too quickly, all the spare spaces in your brain just eaten up by the word you can’t form and yet, the words you need to say. When you arrive, the shared spaces are mercifully empty and you make it to your room without so much as glimpsing another soul, not entirely unexpected given that day had again turned to night somewhere in the miles you’d gone. You shrug off the travel induced grime in a hot shower, as hot as you can stand it, let your tongue gather a few drops like it might loosen it, set those words free.

It doesn’t.

Now you sit, perched on your bed, water still dripping from your hair down your neck and back. Ready, but not.

Without thinking, you lay back, head on the pillow you never use and try not cling to the soft wisps of his cologne, the one he started wearing for your moonlit visits, like a raft against the sea of your own thoughts. A hand clasped gently over your chest, bruised and tender from the furious beats of your furious heart, the other thumb running gently over those scars again. They no longer hold the same power over you they once did, angry raised flesh that shackled grief to your soul, no, now they are just another page in your story. Not the final chapter you once believed them to be. You take a steadying breath, and then another, and think finally, it’s time for the next book to begin.

His door is the same, and it’s not. It doesn’t loom with darkness, instead it stands like the space between stars, dark and filled with potential. You eye it from afar, still hovering on the edge of that hopeful-not-hope and wonder if you stare hard enough you might see within. It remains stubbornly solid, much to your dismay, and so you urge your feet forward, one step and then another until you reach it. You forcibly unclench your teeth and knock, soft enough that you barely feel the scrape of the wood on your knuckles but it swings inwards anyway and reveals a very exasperated Bucky. He stills immediately, mid sentence, face falls off a cliff and lands somewhere between shocked and confused. You want to laugh, and cry, the relief of finally seeing him again threatens to claim your voice from your throat and derail this whole thing before you can utter a single word. You look at him with those fresh, unburdened eyes and marvel, not for the first time, at how very not-soldier he is.

“Hi,” you say, voice still under siege. He says nothing, simply stares like he’s not sure you're real and so you continue. “Can we talk?”

“Uh…” He blinks a few rapid blinks and comes back to himself. “Yes. Yeah, come in.” He gestures towards the room but when you take a step inside he gives you a wide berth, feet shuffling clumsily to put the coffee table between you. A barrier, a shield.

Your bruised heart aches with every step and the hope flutters a little in protest. It feels awkward as you hover over the couch like you don’t deserve to sit, all the air in the room suddenly prickly, like there's too much air or not enough space between the molecules and you hate it. You hate this distance that’s between you again. The one you created with your panic and denial.

“You’re back.” He states, eyes wandering over your face like he's checking over those bruises again and you wonder if he’s dreamed of you since, if he’s had a night without you behind his eyelids like you haven’t since this dizzying new world opened up and swallowed you whole.

The fear gains a foothold, your hope is the oxygen and his quiet apprehension is the flame. “Yeah, like an hour ago.” Say something else, your mind begs, say anything else, your heart joins. But you can’t. Cold dread eats up all the heat in your bones like a slow moving frost, stealing and taking whatever muster you have left.

“Steve said you went to Clints.” His eyes finally meet yours, ocean filled and storm tempered, simply unable to blink away the rough shores and instead they pour out of him, beating waves against you that make your knees wobble. He looks at you with the same uncertainty he did all those months ago when he first arrived, filled to the brim with those sloth like emotions. If melancholy had a face, it would be his in this moment.

You expect it, the guardedness and the caution, but it still throws you off when you see it written so clearly on his face, still whittles away at your nerve until the words you need to say are taken hostage in your mouth and instead, “I needed some time,” you begin, fingers picking away at a loose thread on the couch, “Well, uh, perspective, actually.”

“Right.” He says plainly, clearly unsure what to make of that answer or why you are here in his room saying nothing important with an important looking face.

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” You admit, finally, choking on the words as you do and stifling the need to take them back, or say them again. It’s a desperate feeling, dry mouthed and aching jaw, frantically turning you in circles to find a whole and complete sentence you might say to ease the look on his face.

Agony turns down the corners of his mouth and he whispers, defeated but defiant, “Don’t…”

“Don’t what?” Your lungs protest, sudden and sharp, all of your fears leap and dance inside your chest. This is it, the shoe finally dropping. Run,run,run.

“Don’t say that. Don’t be sorry for us.” He begs it, quietly but earnestly, frown deepening as he does. “I’m not, and if you came here just to drive the point home...” He looks away like he can’t bare it another second, eyes shut tight to protect or contain.

You take a quick, pointed second to delight in his response, “No, Bucky, I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I said that.” He looks at you, cautiously, guarded, and you ache to smooth the frown from his face with your fingertips or your lips. “I don’t regret it... us. Not at all.” He sinks into the couch, deflating as he does like he expected a fight or a blow and isn’t sure what to do now that it’s neither.

“I was scared. Shit, I still am. I didn’t know if your feelings were real, if they could be real, or if it was just some leftover need to make up for something that was never your fault in the first place. Or maybe I did it, you know? Maybe I took it and made it into something else. I didn’t trust it.” Now that you’ve started speaking, the words tumble and pour from your mouth, a river of feelings rushing at him faster than he can take and faster than you can say.

“And then, the dream happened and it just felt like I was hindering your progress. And you were too nice or I was too selfish to do something about it.” The frown deepens again and you can tell he wants to fight you, that he thinks this is something else and so you raise a hand. “Please...just let me finish?” His mouth twists like he's bursting to say something, anything, but he nods anyway.

“I should never have made that decision for you. I know that now. I didn’t see it for what it was. Not until Clint verbally slapped me in the face, I guess.” You smile, a small tilt of the lips and watch him fight to contain his in response, like even now when he has no idea how you feel he still has to smile back so the curve of his lips match your own. “So, I’m sorry. Sorry for taking that choice from you, sorry for doubting you, sorry for leaving, but mostly…” runaway tears slip down your cheeks, the unsettling overspill of regret and longing, “I’m sorry for not telling you I love you, too.”

“You--” Bucky’s mouth crumples and his face goes tight, eyes squeezed shut and eyebrows bunched up beside each other, he stays that way for several seconds, long enough for your hope to vanish and your gut to roll like you were going to meet your lunch again.

“Buck?” You take a step towards him and then stop, wondering if that step should have been towards the door instead. If he no longer wanted this version of you who ran and came back, but instead the one who hid behind walls inside her own heart.

“I want it too much.” He says, finally, and looks at you with the same ocean eyes he always has, a lifetime's worth of hope drowning inside. He smiles your smile and reaches a hand for yours, tentative, soft fingers sliding around your wrist and your skin bounces.

“Me, too.” You let yourself be guided into his lap, his fingers sweeping away the tears that loosen at the sheer weight of your relief, foreheads pressed together and shaking hands clutching onto shaking bones. Your grip on his shirt turns painful, aching to be near and his is just as tight, yet, somehow gentle, balancing all that love on the edge of his smile.

Cool fingers cup your neck, a thumb pressing gently along your jaw and then he kisses you, his lips fitting together with yours like they did before, his ribs fitting under your hands the same way they did before. Fingers and hands and thighs all fitting together, exactly like they did before.

The butterflies wreck havoc in your belly, like they did before.

He kisses you, again, and again, lazy lips and eager tongues, losing minutes to the flush of heat inside your blood and the way the stars sing. You let his lips chase away the fear and let it be replaced with something else, something new but familiar, such a weightlessness that you might float right off the couch if he wasn't holding you like his anchor to the earth. You laugh in between kisses, faces wet and sore from all the smiling and kissing, and smiling.

After, seconds or hours, you push back just enough to say, hushed against the stubble of his jaw, “I was so afraid you wouldn’t want me.”

“Not possible.” His answer is immediate, without consideration, his thumb trails along your bottom lip and his eyes follow, then he pauses in thought, a shadow passes across his face in an instant but he stays quiet.

“What was that?” You ask, letting your fingertips find the edges of his frown, fascinated and terrified by how you long for him even while holding him.

“It’s just... I can’t promise I won’t have any more nightmares. Or that there won’t be bad days, you know?” He says it like it’s an admission of guilt, or like it might change your mind. Your heart twinges at the thought that you put those very particular worries inside his head, that he still doesn’t know what he is to you, the way it reaches marrow-deep.

“I know. And I’ll be there when you do.” You smile sadly, “I’m not going anywhere. I want this, with you, for real this time.” You try to carve your intentions into those words, try to say it so it pours straight into his veins and is carried right to his heart.

He nods, still unconvinced or maybe contemplating, something still waiting to be said and you see him consider it, see him turn it over in his mind a few times before he says. “And I don’t wanna be....I don’t want us to be a secret anymore.”

That does it, the simple, quiet admission that lets you feel exactly all the ways you’ve hurt this broken-not-broken man without even knowing you were. He’s loved you in ways you can’t even count and all you’ve done is poke at his wounds with oblivious hands and poison coated kisses. It knocks the wind clean out of you for a few short moments, empty lungs grasping at your jagged ribs, before you collect yourself, let every ounce of feeling show on your face and say, “No more secrets. I’m in this, Bucky. I’m in it with you.”

Stay, stay, stay.

Divider by the super talented @writeyourmindaway (You should really check them out, there’s something for everyone!)

#through his eyes #kale writes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #marvel fanfic

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